#madam-metaphor

[annabelle--cane]

i think some people read ur posts and think “how dare you say we addiction metaphor on the poor”

XDDTYGHBHIYGTUJNB in all fairness this has gotten hugely better since the fandom cooled down in the last year and a half or so but god. yeah.

[laura-de-milf]

She's back to breaking things 💔

What's worse: a teacup with intention, or the wholeass bottle by accident?

[thepopoptic]

Remember when being fat was a circus attraction?

[mxcottonsocks]

Thinking about Laura saying "I was alone with him" three times.

It reminds me of two things... The first, from earlier in the book [about Count Fosco and Madame Fosco]:

The rod of iron with which he rules her never appears in company—it is a private rod, and is always kept upstairs. The Woman in White - Second Epoch, Part 2

And the second from The Tenant of Wildfell Hall [between Ralph Hattersley and his wife Milicent, when she tries to remind him that they are in company]:

“Do let me alone, Ralph! Remember, we are not at home.” “No matter: you shall answer my question!” exclaimed her tormentor; and he attempted to extort the confession by shaking her, and remorselessly crushing her slight arms in the gripe of his powerful fingers. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Chapter 31

[burts-baked-bees]

Okay?

OPLA Sanji x Fem!Reader

{masterlist for OPLA Sanji ongoing story}

Tags: Slight angst to fluff, slight pining, Sanji and reader are close friends and have truama bonded, Sanji has no clue he's in love with reader the poor sap

CW: Launguage, mentions of abuse, slight WCI spoliers, mentions of drinking

“I swear I’m one shift away from throwing myself in the godforsaken ocean.” Sanji huffed angrily as he threw himself down in a nearby booth. The Baratie had cleared out for the night leaving the cooks to clean the line and the waiters to clean the dining room, but halfway through the dreaded cleanup Sanji had both metaphorically and physically thrown in the towel. The dish cloth he had been holding went flying across the room as he put his feet up on the booth he was in and groaned indignantly.

“That old shitbag won’t so much as let me breathe on the line! I’m a cook! Not a fucking waiter!” He yelled, turning his head back towards the kitchen, as if Zeff could hear his complaints.

“You think maybe it has something to do with the fact that you call him an ‘old shitbag’?” A voice came from the other side of his booth. A small smile curled his lips as he sat up some and peeked over the rounded edge of the red leather seat.

“Oh I’m sorry, did I interrupt your nap time madame?” Sanji laughed as he took in the sight of Y/n laying on her back with her eyes closed in the opposite booth. “So sorry for the inconvenience, but aren’t you meant to be cleaning tables?” He teased as Y/n cracked an eye open and glared at him.

“Aren’t you?” She asked with a sly grin, earning an eye roll and angry huff from the blonde.

“Seems the only thing I’m meant to do is slowly die from boredom in this trash heap of a restaurant.” Sanji sighed as he fell back into his seat, pulling out his lighter and messing with the lid. Y/n laughed softly before sitting up and resting her arms on the dividing seat. She placed her head atop her arms and looked at him with a mock pout.

“Awww is the best chef in the East Blue all bummed that his dad doesn't like his cooking? Again?”

Sanji snapped his lighter closed and raised a finger at Y/n, pointing aggressively at her with a snarl.

“I am the greatest chef in the East Blue. Even if that geezer can’t see it.” He stated, earning a chuckle from Y/n as she sat up and raised her hands in surrender.

“Easy now, no need to shout at a lady.” She cooed as Sanji chuckled and gave her an angry smile, hanging his head.

“How dare you throw my own principles back in my face.” He chuckled as he began fidgeting with the silver ring on his finger. Y/n sighed and rested her chin on her folded arms again, smiling softly at the mop of blonde hair in front of her. She reached over the divider and brushed some of his hair from his face, earning a soft hum from Sanji as he closed his eyes.

“I think we both know he’s only doing and saying these things because he wants the best for you. Though I’ll be the first to admit, his way of going about it is absolute shit.” She laughed as she watched his lips curl into a smile. He looked up at her, her fingers brushing against his cheek as he moved.

“Yeah, I know…” He sighed as he leaned his head back against the wall. She pulled her hand back and looked at him with sympathetic eyes. “But you're a stowaway as much as me.” Sanji joked, “And yet I’m the one being treated like a sniveling child every fucking time I step foot in that kitchen.” He huffed as he looked over at her through his bangs. She chuckled as she hung her arms over the back of his booth and cocked her head to the side.

“My dumbass thought I could be a pirate and got stuck here paying off a debt cuz’ my ship damaged the hull of this ‘trash heap of a restaurant’.” She fired back, using his own words. He opened his mouth to speak but soon closed it again as he shook his head.

“Yeah that was pretty dumb.” Sanji joked as he pulled his jacket off and tossed it to the seat beside him. Y/n gawked at him before laughing and reaching forward to hit him softly on the shoulder. He leaned away from her and shouted

“Oi! Don’t damage the goods!”

She looked at him with mocking wide eyes and barked a laugh,

“Both Patty and I would have to disagree with you on that one, lover boy.” She snarked as Sanji rolled his eyes. A calm silence filled the space as Y/n sat up on her knees and looked at Sanji. She could see something was going on inside his head, and she knew him well enough to infer that he wasn’t going to say a damn thing. She studied the way his brow furrowed and noted how his eyes seemed more gray then blue in moments like these.

There was a profound sadness in him that she had only caught glimpses of in her three years aboard this ship. A profound sadness that he had more or less shared with her one drunken night in the bar when they should have been sleeping. A profound sadness that she wished every single day she could lift from him. The two sat in silence as the ship rocked softly under them; Y/n felt compelled to speak, to do anything that might help ease his overactive mind.

“Still, knowing what I know, having Zeff treating you like this can’t be good for the ole’ psyche…”

Sanji tensed up slightly at her words and Y/n mentally kicked herself for making that insinuation. She wanted to help him, but after the words left her mouth she felt a heavy guilt fill her bones. She watched as he shut his eyes and took a deep breath before smiling ever so slightly.

“Trust me, love. I may complain like this from time to time-”

“Almost ninety-five percent of the time."

“Ooookay. Almost ninety-five percent of the time, but nothing is worse than… what I came from.” He gave her a somber smile and pulled out his lighter again, flipping the lid open and closed in an almost rhythmic pattern. She returned his sad smile and pushed her baby hairs from her forehead.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned that.” She spoke softly as she looked out at the empty dining room; the tables were cast in an eerie candle light and the china adorning the tables glimmered like stars. Sanji looked at her, as her attention was placed elsewhere, and smiled fondly. He felt a warmth rise in his chest as he took in the curve of her profile. The slope of her nose, the length of her eyelashes, the round of her cheeks. The candle light of the empty room cast dancing shadows on her face that made her look otherworldly; he felt his smile, and eyes soften as he looked at her.

“Y/n I wouldn’t have told you about my shitty past if I didn’t trust you to check in on me like this every now and again.” Sanji spoke softly as Y/n turned her gaze back to him. She was almost stunned to see the expression on his face. The look in his eyes was, most of the time, reserved for the elegant ladies that entered the restaurant day in and day out. And yet here he was looking at her like that. She brushed the fond gaze off and swayed her head back and forth while giving him an apologetic look.

“I know, but it’s still not my place to dredge up old memories of abuse when I don’t even know the full story.” She responded, playing with the ends of her uniform shirt.

Sanji smiled at her and leaned forward in his seat, one hand braced himself on the seat top while the other reached forward and pulled her towards him. Y/n closed her eyes as she felt his lips press against her forehead.

“I appreciate you checking on me. It shows that you care.” He said softly, his words muffled seeing that his lips were still connected with her forehead. She smiled softly as he placed a loud exaggerated kiss to the skin there before pulling away and holding her face in his hand. “Okay?” He asked with a huge smile. She laughed at his theatrics and moved to stand up, leaving Sanji sitting alone in his booth as he looked up at her standing form.

“Whatever you say-” She began as she reached out a hand to help him up. He took it with a laugh and allowed Y/n to pull him to his feet. “-My favorite Baratie waiter.” She finished as she dropped his hand and started walking away from him, stifling her laughter. Sanji stood there with his jaw dropped as she walked away from him, his shock soon turning into a smile as he watched her shoulders shake from holding in her laughter. He let a chuckle slip out as he pushed up his sleeves and made a beeline for her.

“How DARE!” He yelled as he grabbed her from behind and lifted her off the ground slightly laughing as she yelped and then dissolved into laughter when she broke free. She began running to a nearby table to put distance between herself and him as she pointed at him,

“Not fair!” She yelled, watching as Sanji pointed back at her.

“Don’t you dare get me started on ‘fair’!” He responded as he laughed.

____

Zeff stood in the doorway to the kitchen watching as Sanji ran around tables with that wannabe pirate waitress. He observed in silence as the pair laughed and threw dish towels at each other instead of cleaning tables.

The small boy he once knew, terrified of making connections with those around him due to some dark past he kept to himself, was smling and laughing as he chased around what could only be discribed as a friend.

A small smile curled his weathered lips as he shook his head and walked away, the sounds of youth fading into nothing.

“Not bad, little eggplant… Not bad…”

[shortnasties]

2573. Metaphorical Illness In The Analytical Mode

This is “Metaphorical Illness In The Analytical Mode.” All pill, no chill. 

I saw my life on the other side of the street, until it disappeared behind a moving bus...

      It was spring, soft light, the smell of hot dogs, silly...

      You’ll wake up some days, fearing the entire cold touch of knowledge...

       Sure, there is a fact or two that seems crazy enough to continue on with. But who can you breathe heavily on anymore?  

       And here comes the leaping deer of intimacy! 

       The very second before total and fatal collision. The juvenile need to scream for mommy in the grocery store! 

[see-arcane]

I have been possessed by a stronger than average craving for tinkering with Jonathan Harker's genders (Jonders). Jonathan Harker is undeniably and forever my favorite gothic heroine. But, being that there is so much to chew on regarding his potential fluidity when it comes to gender roles within the story--the classic damsel, the willingly submissive half of the couple, the vengeful berserker, etc--it's got me thinking.

Let's take the metaphor out. What would happen to the Dracula narrative if Jonathan Harker was...

First thing's first--she almost definitely gets shouldered out of the Important Solicitor's position due to reasons of Being Girl. But she still has to get to Transylvania to be menaced by Count Bat Bastard. How?

Hawkins! Johanna is working at the firm as a secretary and personal assistant to a still very paternally mushy old Peter Hawkins. When Dracula's request comes around, he can't give up such a lucrative client over his gout and there's no one he trusts to pass it to. He has to go. And it'd only be right to treat his surrogate daughter to a paid scenic vacation have his aide along on the business trip. Especially when she hunted down Carfax Abbey herself! What a lovely outing they'll have.

...or not.

True to form, Count Dracula is very much not to be trusted around pretty young things of any kind. Considering his canon habits, things aren't about to go any easier for Miss Harker. But at least she has Hawkins watching out for her in-person! It all makes for some very tense talk when discussing anything other than the estate purchase; which Hawkins seems as keen to rush as Dracula is to dawdle over. But at least they'll be out of here soon. What's a couple of awkward nights, right?

One in particular has Johanna nervous as she goes to bed. Hawkins had taken Dracula aside with a hard smile, insisting there was a 'delicate matter' he wished to speak with the Count about. The last time a 'delicate matter' was brought up was when he nearly lobbed a typewriter at one of his ex-solicitor's heads for some distinctly unseemly behavior in her direction. She hopes there isn't a storm brewing under their host's roof. She hopes harder that tomorrow they'll be heading back to the Borgo Pass.

Instead:

Oh.

Oh no.

Between this and one requisite nightmare-week in which the joys of womanhood come and go--let's leave it unspoken whether her set of bloodstained cloths stay in her possession or not--Johanna gets put through the wringer. Per usual. But eventually..!

Yeah. No shock there. Deep calming breaths, Jack. Don't let the wonderful diary concuss you.

Part of being one of two (gasp) G I R L S in the Scooby Gang, Van Helsing and company vote Johanna and Mina out of the dirt hunt. Except. Well. Johanna is still necessary to have on the ground here. She's the only one with the location intel--and a surprise willed gift of inheritance and the firm from poor Hawkins, who the Transylvanian locals all vouch for as being 'slain by wolves,' leaving Johanna free of blame--so she's still running around for the crew.

Even so, odds are high that she initially gets sidelined with Mina. Which isn't overly awful. It is good to be side-by-side in this timeline! No needless sequestering from each other! Johanna is already planning to see Mina back to their new house before they have to sleep another night in an asylum.

And then comes the 3rd of October.

Van Helsing: "Madam Harker, is it not somewhat attention-catching to wear trousers in public? We are meant to be unremarkable while we wait on th--"

Johanna, has already smoked through two cigars, kukri in her lap, playing a game of chicken with God: "Do you think I scaled a mountain in three layers of skirts, Professor? No? Then I will not do the same if the rancid bastard tries to escape out the window."

Van Helsing, aside: "Friend John, can you speak sense to her?"

Jack, melting off the side of the bench: "I think I hauve consumption"

Anyway. She very much does get to the Dracula head chopping. And there will be much rejoicing. BUT all that grimdarkness aside, there are other, more hijinks-flavored opportunities to think of with this particular set up. If only because I genuinely believe that Lucy and Art, having two spare best friends on hand and a general vibe that radiates 'ooooh what if triple wedding???', would come up with the following master plan. Some truly Shakespearean folly kind of shit:

Thankfully, Johanna and Mina nix the idea pretty quick. Case in point:

And, last but not least, my final word on the range of Jonders that exist within my very best gothic heroine friend:

ha ha I do that

[florsial]

unfortunately, I cannot get behind the psycho Bartylus train. At least, most of the time. But! I see them very much as high school romance/sweethearts. Just the classic runaway love story. To me, they are the few sweeter ships.

However, I always saw Bartylus as the long-term, high school forbidden romance that ends with them running away and living out their happy life far away from shitty parents. They are each other's fairytale prince and princess!

They are the more realistic. Like any long-term relationship in high school, you can easily point out in the halls or in your friend group. There aren't any complex feelings of loyalty and devotion that borders on unhealthy (maybe a bit but never too much). If anything, their relationship is the most normal thing about them.

People tend to forget that Regulus is this wealthy, posh, basically royalty heir with the most insane imagination when he's studying in the library with Barty who is commonly viewed as the next leader of the Wizarding world, one of the smartest students of his age, and also a huge fucking pretentious dick that scares the first years. Their characters are strange to other people but it's quickly forgotten when they see Barty and Regulus at Madam Puddifoots' sitting across from each other, kissing and holding hands, and drinking tea from each other's cups.

I think it's also what makes them more tragic in a canon-compliant universe. They were just teenagers in love.

I also don't see them being this interested in these [insert disturbing thing] as a metaphor for their love because they are each other's comfort space, where there isn't anything complex, just simple, soft love like the ones you see in movies or read in books.

Bartylus takes the most vulnerable parts of Barty and Regulus and runs with it honestly.

[carouselunique]

“Oh! Fiddlefeathers!” Sky Chime murmured as she lifted her wing to fly up to her bedroom window where Dinky and Rosy were waiting upstairs for her to come back from setting out the bins after dinner. Looking down at her feathers she saw a very distinct and very incriminating smudge of makeup. It was her very first sleepover and while she had been looking forward to sharing this milestone with her new friends, that made this much more difficult.

She didn’t mean to lie to her new friends, it just sort of… happened. She had been the first in her class to earn her cutie mark way back when. She had earned her cutie mark way early for being a musical prodigy, earlier than any filly she knew in Fillydelphia. Or Cloudsdale. Or Baltimare. Or anywhere else… and showing that fact off made ponies her age hate her. So two towns down she had taken to covering her mark. It never mattered before, because she always left those towns after only a few weeks. It just helped her fly under the radar. To go unnoticed. That was how she liked it unless she was performing…

Hiding her cutie mark hadn’t been an issue until Ponyville. Until they decided to put down roots for longer this time while Sky honed her talents under Madame Octavia. Until she had made friends with the only other “blankflanks” in her new class and the whole point of their friendship was to find cutie marks together. So now, Sky reasoned to herself, hiding it as long as she can would be the best option.

Looking around to make sure no one had seen, she quickly adjusted her feathers over her cutie mark, hiding it from view before deciding to slowly walk up to her front door instead. Luckily, she thought to herself, her pajamas would hide her flank until morning when they got ready for school and she could reapply her makeup then. She felt a growing pit of guilt in her stomach… but she feared that if she were to tell the truth to make it go away, she’d lose her first ever real friends… so, she supposed, she’d just have to learn to live with the guilt.

It wouldn’t be forever. Just until Ditzy and Rosy got their cutie marks too.

She’s not worried about earning her cutie mark because she already has it.

Cutie Mark Reveal / Explanation / Design Process Below:

Okay so, Sky Chime has her cutie mark already. Why? Well, one, I never liked the CMC receiving their marks together. I like the idea of each individually receiving their cutie marks at their own pace. These are a metaphor for puberty/maturity/growing up/self discovery right? Well not everyone does that at the same pace as their friends. The Mane Six I can excuse because they’re all different ages so they did earn it at different paces just with the same catalyst. CMC though… I never felt thats what they needed. For all the show claims they still do their own thing just share a destiny it feels like they’ll always be the Cutie Mark Crusaders rather than that being something that helped them grow into their own separate beautiful unique destinies. Almost like the show itself didn’t trust those three to stay friends post earning their cutie marks.

That being said, I have an idea that once the final mark is earned by whoever goes last, they discover together something about how an aspect of their talents is helping others see their own talents for their true meaning and the Cutie Quest Fillies cutie marks CHANGE a bit to reflect that. For example, the color of the tear drop chimes might change to be each of her friends colors or something. Because the people we love do have an impact on how we grow. So that might be something.

Okay so if Rosy Posy and Dinky Doo represent being somewhat behind your age for whatever reason development wise, Sky Chime represents being somewhat ahead and all the ways it can make you also feel different. All the ways you might feel like holding yourself back because you want to be where everyone else is. Everyone strives for being grown up until you’re the very first one to do it and then it seems like they judge you for beating them to the finish line.

And when you’re going through that you might not feel ready for the finish line. Sky is hiding this big part of herself to fit in and to feel like a kid again and keep her friends. She’s advanced for her age, a prodigy and a talent and she likes collecting antiques and whatnot. She already feels like marehood is coming for her way sooner than she wants. So she hides. And she feels bad because unlike in every other town, here in Ponyville she’s lying for ages. Very anxious pegasus our Sky Chime.

Sky being a changeling was a popular theory and I’d love some fanfic about that AU within an AU but, crucially, I wanted to try not to do harmful aspects from the canon show into this AU unless it is meant to say something about the ponies and I think having Sky being so protective of her secretly being another species would play into a lot of the unremarked upon species prejudice in the show. That being said actually someone get on some Changeling Sky I’d love to see it!!!

[writingforatwistedworld]

How would riddle, malleus and epel react to the overseer personally knowing their family their family was not aware they were the overseer (for malleus and epel the overseer met their grannys and for riddle they know his mom)

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, obsession, kidnapping, religion, cult, unhealthy relationship, threats, blood, imprisonment

Riddle Rosehearts/Epel Felmier/Malleus Draconia-Player knows one of their family members

Riddles mother

It was once more time for a holiday

NRC was prepared to host a few attractions and to have family members visit for a day or two

Riddle was warned by a letter from his mother that she was coming

So the day was here. The celebration was in full swing. And look at that, it's the mother of a certain redhead. Noo-I mean, yay...

Riddle was prepared for another scolding for something he “did wrong” but after greeting her son (in a way too stiff manner) she turned to you and... greeted you as well?

You see, little, helpful you had promised the former red tyrant to help his dorm with their celebration so you were also present when the madam came over

“Mother, why do you know the Overseer?” “What are you talking about, Riddle?”

Apparently, Trey had once invited you to meet his family after you showed interest in his siblings and the bakery. In the Queendom you had gone on a walk in the forest, slipped and twisted your ankle so badly that you couldn't walk anymore. Luckily Riddles mother came by (for some reason) and helped you, being a doctor and all

Now, lady is of course no idiot so after her son had asked her that question she was just a new addition to the garden as a statue

Riddle was terrified that you saw the polite yet also arrogant way his mother spoke to you in the past as something rude

Now, you were of course not the biggest fan of her but at least she healed you back then

Once you are gone, running off to Pomefiore to help over there, Riddle had a talk with his mother

Usually he would show her respect but today it was like the roles were reversed

Kind words and any kind of love he had left for her were thrown out of the window when he asked her “how she could have not recognized their uncrowned ruler?”

Riddle was this close to snapping and using his special magic on her

For the first time Riddles mother was afraid of her son

Never before had she seen him so angry

But oh well, better stay in line and be nice to you instead of finding out how far she could push his boundaries

It was almost like he wouldn't just chop her head off in a metaphorical sense with his special magic but rather literally in a much, much more bloody way

Epels Grandmother

Ah yes, Epels sweet sweet granny could of course not miss her beloved grandson

She even prepared some cake and other delicious treats for him. How sweet!

So when perfection themselves, the Overseer, suddenly marched over after they spotted a familiar mop of light lilac hair he nearly had a heart attack

But instead of his Granny being surprised she just said a nice hello, that it was good to see you again and how things had been since you had seen each other

Why did his granny know the Overseer? Why did his granny know God?

Now Epel couldn't of course ask that later part, considering that his villages view on you was in comparison rather... yeah let's call it “extreme”

Turns out he had forgotten something when he visited Harveston the last time and you brought it to him, only for you to meet his Grandmother before you ran into him. Giving her what he forgot the two of you had a nice little talk before you left

And this is the point when Epel felt like he was ready to bash his head against the wall

Vil must have noticed a short in Epels mood because the model just threw him a very poisonous look

So here Eprl was, standing like a lost little child between his Granny and f-ing God whilst the two of you had a nice little chat about the weather

When you finally said goodbye to the two, running off to Diasomnia because you were invited for tea, Epel was juts like “Granny, we need to talk.”

Say goodbye to your apple-free days because after that talk, there will be boxes of so-called “offerings” in front of your door. Every. Single. Day.

“Granny, don't be too shocked but you met God.” “Hoho, what are you talking about?” “...” “Oh...”

For the rest of the day her legs were so shaky that Epel was afraid for her health

I mean, come on, the very person who has drilled tales about a deity into your head finally meeting said deity is something that is guaranteed to have a way too high blood pressure

The next time you run into her she isn't entirely sweet anymore

Of course she is still nice but there is something creepy about her. The way her eyes drill into you, how her questions are always a tad bit too personal

And did she just utter a prayer with your name in it? Nah, must be your imagination

Malleus Grandmoter

How she didn't recognize you the first time you two met is a wonder considering that she has that sixth sense every Fae has that tingles even when you are being simply mentioned

But today is a great day, Malleus grandmother came over to visit her grandson, a rare day of rest for her

Maleus was just about to tell her that he had invited a guest when you showed up

So when he stood up to introduce you to her she was just like “Oh, the child of man I met that one day.”

Cue Malleus standing there like a plank

Poor man is so surprised that he can't even ask how the heck you two met each other

When he finally asked when you two met he found out that he had forgotten to send a letter of his so you had jumped through one of the mirrors and delivered it to the castle yourself

After almost getting impaled for jumping right into a heavily guarded castle you had explained yourself and boom, you had a fife minute talk with grandma Draconia

Ok, great, wonderful, but did she know that you were the Overseer?

When he told her who you were she had to set down her teacup, shock sinking into her bones

Following his words you asked what he meant with Overseer

This was the day Diasomnia saw their dorm leader drop a teacup

Like with Epel you are now more or less in trouble

I mean, yeah, it's nice to get literal national treasures sent to your doorstep but at the same time, what the heck??!

Back in the Valley of Thorns the Fae are panicking left and right

What do you mean, the Overseer has already visited us once? And we pointed all kind of sharp tools at them??!

It wouldn't be much of a surprise if you just woke up one day in a room that you had never seen before, living like a bird in a golden cage

You know, the next ruler has taken a liking to you and your loyal followers need to protect you

So sit still and don't try to run

[thesporkidentity]

i love today's entry. this is, if i'm remembering correctly, only the second time we've had van helsing as the recorder rather than just appearing in other people's entries, and he is definitely different in the privacy of his own memorandum. in everyone else's he is so effusive that, despite his supposed advanced age, he always seems rather powerfully larger than life. (how old he actually is is never specified, but he's introduced with red hair without any gray so it's unlikely he's truly agèd.) but in her recent entry, mina describes him as old and gray, perhaps a more figurative expression than a literal change in his hair color like jonathan's, but this situation has definitely tired and aged him, washed him out.

and now we get him, unfiltered, in his own entry, and he does sound old and gray (kudos to alan burgon who has been fantastic this entire time). there's none of that barely restrained energy, no meandering metaphor about corn or immortal parrots. instead, he's surprisingly straightforward recounting the events, and what he does write is just...he sounds for the first time old and scared. the weather is cold, cold, so cold, and the land is wild and rocky like the end of the world. and he is alone save for madam mina who sleeps all day and watches him with shining eyes in the night, and he is afraid, afraid, afraid.

(side note, mina's laugh is so scary)

and, just like last time, he isn't writing a general "to whom it may concern" to make sure their story is told to whomever finds this letter; he writes, specifically, to jack. it's just so very human that when they're scared, they all reach for connection, they write to the person they love most as a last desperate way to hold onto them, to talk to them, even in absentia, before they die. so mina writes of jonathan, and jonathan writes of mina, and van helsing writes to his old and true friend john seward

[forestdeath1]

Canon Sirius through quotes

Part 3. Harshness and toughness (and how Sirius Black differs from James Potter). It's long. Really long.

Sirius isn't a soft crybaby. His harshness (and even cruelty) goes beyond the silly teenage pranks we usually see in fanfiction. Sirius is often either whitewashed by newer fans or overly demonized by anti-Marauders fans. Sirius has a tough exterior but a heart of gold. He's not childish and had to grow up early, though he can still be quite fun.

‘Do you know, I still have trouble believing it,’ said Madam Rosmerta thoughtfully. ‘Of all the people to go over to the Dark side, Sirius Black was the last I’d have thought ... .’

"Of all the people to go over to the Dark side, Sirius Black was the last I’d have thought" – this shouldn't be taken literally. Rosmerta saw many others regularly, Dumbledore, Lily, Remus, and many others, and out of all of them, Sirius Black was the last who could turn to the Dark side? Seriously? Did Sirius walk around with a halo and angel wings?

One trait that is always emphasized in his appearance is his haughty, bored look.

Rosmerta speaks metaphorically, not literally. She saw Sirius once a month or two when they went out to Hogsmeade to have fun and drink. In those moments, Sirius was lively, funny and noisy (especially lively after running away from home), and perhaps he even flirted with Rosmerta in a childish manner, melting the heart of the adult woman.

Sirius can be funny, although his humor is always edging towards dark:

"Imagine wasting your time and energy persecuting merpeople when there are little toerags like Kreacher on the loose.’ 

Ron laughed but Hermione looked upset. 

‘Sirius!’ she said reproachfully. ‘Honestly, if you made a bit of an effort with Kreacher, I’m sure he’d respond. After all, you are the only member of his family he’s got left, and Professor Dumbledore said –’ 

‘So, what are Umbridge’s lessons like?’ Sirius interrupted. ‘Is she training you all to kill half-breeds?’

Moreover, he interrupts Hermione, not letting her finish her point. He sharply outlines if he doesn't want to listen.

"the stuffed elf-heads on the hall wall wore Father Christmas hats and beards"

Dark humor.

‘Kreacher is cleaning,’ the elf repeated. ‘Kreacher lives to serve the Noble House of Black –’ 

‘And it’s getting blacker every day, it’s filthy,’ said Sirius.

Here he responds with a clear "Black" shade. His mother also loved to talk about filth.

‘Sirius – it’s me ... it’s Peter ... your friend ... you wouldn’t ...’ Black kicked out and Pettigrew recoiled. ‘There’s enough filth on my robes without you touching them,’ said Black.

And again. And here’s his mother:

‘Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers –’ 

‘Stains of dishonour, filthy half-breeds, blood traitors, children of filth ...’

Sirius desperately wants to be unlike the Blacks, but he is still Sirius Black.

‘I thought it was the perfect plan ... a bluff ... Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they’d use a weak, talentless thing like you ... it must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters.’

Sirius's humor isn't the only harsh thing about him. Even though here he has a reason – after Azkaban he met James's traitor – his way of speaking reflects his overall personality. The way one speaks is a mirror of personality, even if Sirius has PTSD, it only exposes even more vividly what he might control in a calm state.

‘Nasty temper he’s got, that Sirius Black.’ (Peeves)

At the same time, yes, he can be cheerful and infect everyone around him with his cheerfulness. If he's in a sombre mood, he creates a quite oppressive atmosphere around him that everyone feels. Just as with a good mood – everyone feels it.

Harry could not remember Sirius ever being in such a good mood; he was actually singing carols, apparently delighted that he was to have company over Christmas. 

-

Sirius tramping past their door towards Buckbeak’s room, singing ‘God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs’ at the top of his voice. 

-

Sirius’s delight at having the house full again, and especially at having Harry back, was infectious. He was no longer their sullen host of the summer; now he seemed determined that everyone should enjoy themselves as much, if not more than they would have done at Hogwarts, and he worked tirelessly in the run-up to Christmas Day, cleaning and decorating with their help.

But the ability to be cheerful is in no way connected to being very harshn at the same time. This is precisely the case with Sirius.

Of all the Marauders, only Sirius is really harsh and can be truly dangerous (the author wrote about him, “The best-looking, most rebellious, most dangerous of the four marauders”). James was also a bully, but he's not harsh, despite the fact that it was he who pulled down Snape's trousers. Why? I think Sirius was already aware of what they were doing. James – not. Without awareness, it's too early to speak of any harshness and cruelty. Sirius had this awareness and still continued to do it.

Let's consider the reactions of Sirius and James in comparison.

‘Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?’ 

Sirius did not smile. ‘My whole family have been in Slytherin,’ he said.

‘Blimey,’ said James, ‘and I thought you seemed all right!’ 

Sirius grinned. ‘Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?’

A small note: Sirius didn't even react to James's "I'd leave", even though he knew his whole family was from Slytherin, and he was likely to go there too.

James lifted an invisible sword. ‘“Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!” Like my dad.’ Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.

‘Got a problem with that?’ ‘No,’ said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. ‘If you’d rather be brawny than brainy –’

It was Snape who starts the confrontation on a personal level. James in his insults in this memory refers to moral qualities. "Who wants to be in Slytherin?" Only bad people. He is prejudiced against Slytherin because Slytherin is evil. Voldemort is gaining momentum. The first Muggle-born Minister was recently ousted. Attacks are happening here and there. Dark forces are growing. More and more of the pure-blood society talks about "Mudbloods" not belonging in this world. And "amazingly", they all turn out to be from Slytherin. James sees himself as a noble knight "James lifted an invisible sword", and he is against Slytherin not so much personally as against the moral component of Slytherin.

‘Where’re you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?’ interjected Sirius.

James roared with laughter. Lily sat up, rather flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike.

Sirius immediately strikes at Snape's personality. Sirius is sharp-tongued, self-assured, and likely accustomed to considering others below himself. He probably assessed James as his equal right away. Brave, cheerful, sincere.

'Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment.'

'Oooooo...'

James and Sirius imitated her lofty voice; James tried to trip Snape as he passed.

'See ya, Snivellus!' a voice called, as the compartment door slammed...

James tried to trip Snape. James most often uses physical/magical force. He trips Snape, he pulls down Snape's trousers, he uses most of the spells on Snape in SWM. But it's Sirius who goes after Snape's personality. It looks like James has concocted a "noble justification" for his behavior and attitude and punishes Snape for existing just as he is.

Sirius, on the other hand, hardly uses magical/physical force in memories; he finds painful points in Snape's personality – from character to appearance, intentionally demeaning his personal traits.

Moreover, it was Sirius who focused on Snape's appearance. No one, except him, places such an emphasis on Snape's unattractive appearance and his untidiness.

'Snape's always been fascinated by the Dark Arts, he was famous for it at school. Slimy, oily, greasy-haired kid, he was,'

Very vivid epithets. Sirius is very eloquent when it comes to demeaning someone he dislikes.

Moreover, it's James who's the attention seeker. It's James who plays with the snitch, drawing attention, glancing at the girls by the lake, and ruffling his hair to show everyone how cool, strong, brave, and awesome he is.

After five minutes of this, Harry wondered why James didn’t tell Wormtail to get a grip on himself, but James seemed to be enjoying the attention. Harry noticed that his father had a habit of rumpling up his hair as though to keep it from getting too tidy, and he also kept looking over at the girls by the water’s edge.

While Sirius, likely, isn't much interested in societal validation. Sirius is more reserved, with firmer boundaries, he's not as interested in public adoration as James might be.

Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so.

This is a typical expression for Sirius – bored and haughty. He spent nearly five full years in Gryffindor alongside James, and the bored and haughty expression is still with him. It's not just a random trait in his character – it's one of the pillars of his personality, reflecting his attitude towards random people around him.

‘Put that away, will you,’ said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, ‘before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.’

As I've said, Sirius cuts with his words without a knife. They've been studying together for five years, been friends with Peter, and he jokes about Peter like this. I think they all joked about each other in the same way, just James's "jokes" are blunt and probably he just says whatever comes to mind, whereas Sirius's are more subtle and hurtful.

Moreover, when people say this is the only episode we know of bullying by James and Sirius and that it's the worst in their history, that's not correct. This episode is the worst in Snape's life. And not because they pulled down his trousers. But because he lost Lily forever that day. This episode, likely, was quite typical for the Marauders. They were in a good mood, had finished exams, Snape just happened to pass by, there were no obvious reasons for this bullying. Harry sifted through their detention records, and there were many, very many, and how many more when they weren't caught?

Sirius got bored, and there they decided to "have some fun."

‘I’m bored,’ said Sirius. ‘Wish it was full moon.’ 

‘You might,’ said Lupin darkly from behind his book. ‘We’ve still got Transfiguration, if you’re bored you could test me. Here ...’ and he held out his book. 

But Sirius snorted. ‘I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.’

I won't discuss The Prank here, many have written about it. In general, Sirius doesn't show empathy in everyday interactions even with Remus. Sirius has a heart of gold, but his shell, especially as a teenager – tough, harsh, sharp, and cutting. The grown-up Sirius interacts with close people much more politely, though he still occasionally shows his harshness (for example, with Hermione).

‘This’ll liven you up, Padfoot,’ said James quietly. ‘Look who it is ...’ 

Sirius’s head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit. 

‘Excellent,’ he said softly. ‘Snivellus.’

I don't want to justify Sirius and James, but for context – Snape is fascinated by the Dark Arts, hangs out with future Death Eaters (= fascist), and they have mutual dislike from the first year. No, the act is immature, but James justifies it in his head exactly like this – Snape is bad for him, so anything goes, and anyway, "so what?" Sirius doesn't need justifications. He's just bored.

Even when James uses all the spells on Snape, he still glances at the lake:

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water’s edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.

Why look at the girls by the lake when you're humiliating someone, if you know you're doing something really bad? James genuinely sees himself as a noble knight, deserving of admiration. Moreover, many do admire him (''Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained. Several people watching laughed''), and Lupin mentioned several times that James was popular at school.

‘How’d the exam go, Snivelly?’ said James. 

‘I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,’ said Sirius viciously. ‘There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.’ 

Again, Sirius harshly targets Snape's personal traits, including his appearance.

‘You – wait,’ he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, ‘you – wait!’ 

‘Wait for what?’ said Sirius coolly. ‘What’re you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?’ 

And again – Sirius strikes with words.

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

‘Wash out your mouth,’ said James coldly. ‘Scourgify!’

And James responds with a spell to what? Snape's insults. He says ‘Wash out your mouth.’ He appeals to the moral side of the issue.

‘I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!’

‘Apologise to Evans!’ James roared at Snape, his wand pointed  threateningly at him. ‘I don’t want you to make him apologise,’ Lily shouted, rounding on James. ‘You’re as bad as he is.’ ‘What?’ yelped James. ‘I’d NEVER call you a – you-know-what!’

This also proves that James is sure he's doing everything right. James is like a volunteer in the allies' army against the fascists, a brave Gryffindor, and his sword is to cast spells on anyone he deems not fitting his moral standards.

‘Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.’

And from the outside, it looked like this.

‘What is it with her?’ said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him. 

‘Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,’ said Sirius.

And Sirius understands it all too well. Who he is, who James is, and what Lily thinks about it all. Sirius knows about James's crush on Lily and finds it even funny that she rejects him. Likely because Sirius understands that they often cross the line. I don’t think Sirius could have stopped Potter. I don't even think Sirius wanted to stop Potter. He found it all funny. Azkaban, on the other hand, softened Sirius in his interactions with others. It knocked down his pride and arrogance. Showed him that life can be unfair and you don't need to act like a haughty jerk who thinks the world revolves around them.

At school, Sirius was more about psychological bullying, while James was about the physical. Given that James and Sirius were very popular at school and within their house, their bullying was likely directed mostly at Slytherins or at arrogant jerks like themselves who they just "didn't like."

And the adult Sirius understands that they were “arrogant little berks.” And he’s “not proud of it,” but his next words speak for themselves:

“ I think James was everything Snape wanted to be – he was popular, he was good at Quidditch – good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts, and James – whatever else he may have appeared to you, Harry – always hated the Dark Arts.”

Sirius justifies James while simultaneously praising him. Justifications always imply a partial denial of guilt. Someone fully aware of their guilt doesn’t seek to justify or be justified. Of course, Sirius said this for Harry's sake too. To ensure Harry didn’t think his father was just a bully for no reason. His father was actually “on the side of good,” is what Sirius wants to convey. About himself, he remains silent. But he doesn't miss the chance to insult Snape again “little oddball.”

Even Remus, as an adult, sincerely justifies James.

‘She started going out with him in seventh year,’ said Lupin. 

‘Once James had deflated his head a bit,’ said Sirius. ‘And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it,’ said Lupin.

 ‘Even Snape?’ said Harry. ‘Well,’ said Lupin slowly, ‘Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?’ 

‘And my mum was OK with that?’ 

‘She didn’t know too much about it, to tell you the truth,’ said Sirius. ‘I mean, James didn’t take Snape on dates with her and jinx him in front of her, did he?’

Lupin finds a genuine justification for James. The concept of “violence in any form is bad” isn’t fully grasped by them. They follow an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Lupin even was ready to kill Peter, and he insisted that war is not a playground and that killing is sometimes necessary in war. Remus, though gentler and kinder, and preferring not to engage in conflict, genuinely wished Sirius and James hadn't bullied anyone at school, but yet, he still reconciles with all they do and even justifies James.

In Sirius's mind, James may have acted like a fool, but Sirius doesn’t genuinely condemn it. He just thinks they were too arrogant. And Sirius’s behavior after Azkaban (how he became gentler with others) indicates he truly realized – you don't need to belittle everyone you dislike or even like. Yet, Sirius’s harshness, even after Azkaban, didn’t disappear; it was just redirected towards what he genuinely hates.

‘Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defence Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons ... you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me –’ 

Black made a derisive noise. 

‘It served him right,’ he sneered. ‘Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to ... hoping he could get us expelled ...’

Remus's reactions are much softer, but Sirius’s reaction, even years later, is harsh and even a bit cruel. ‘It served him right.’ Because it's an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

However, Sirius’s harshness still occasionally breaks through even towards his close ones when he slightly loses control over himself after Azkaban.

‘You’re less like your father than I thought,’ he said finally, a definite coolness in his voice. ‘The risk would’ve been what made it fun for James.’ 

‘Well, I’d better get going, I can hear Kreacher coming down the stairs,’ said Sirius, but Harry was sure he was lying. ‘I’ll write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?’

Sirius calls themselves “arrogant little berks,” but the peculiarity of Sirius’s arrogance is that it's due to his personal qualities, not external “glamour”.

 ‘I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself? But you, Peter – I’ll never understand why I didn’t see you were the spy from the start. You always liked big friends who’d look after you, didn’t you?’

He despises Peter for groveling, for weakness, for the same reasons he despises Regulus, considering him a soft idiot. Sirius’s arrogance was never built on finances or blood purity, on popularity, on playing Quidditch, not on his name, although the family dynamics undoubtedly influenced his pride. But overall, his arrogance is of a different level – that of a rebellious spirit, a very strong person, not like the Malfoys. Lucius Malfoy is intentionally depicted as the complete opposite of Sirius Black (in character – the most rebellious of their pure-blood circle and the most sycophantic, and in appearance – black and white).

Sirius and Kreacher's story demonstrates that Sirius does not forgive those he hated and can carry hatred through the years. People usually soften over time, but Sirius has an excuse – Azkaban. Nonetheless, the behavioral pattern remains unchanged. Azkaban does not change the essence of people, it makes certain traits more vivid and pronounced. Sirius became calmer towards the people around him who help fight against evil, he toned down his arrogance and pride (even towards Snape, he no longer hurls insults first, it’s Snape who insults Sirius first), but Sirius became even harsher towards those he hates.

‘Sirius was horrible to Kreacher, Harry, and it’s no good looking like that, you know it’s true. I’ve said all along that wizards would pay for how they treat house-elves. Well, Voldemort did ... and so did Sirius.’

Harry had no retort. As he watched Kreacher sobbing on the floor, he remembered what Dumbledore had said to him, mere hours after Sirius’s death: I do not think Sirius ever saw Kreacher as a being with feelings as acute as a human’s ...

And he himself demonstrates this repeatedly:

At which Sirius, ignoring Hermione’s protests, seized Kreacher by the back of his loincloth and threw him bodily from the room.

Dumbledore believes Sirius showed cruelty to Kreacher through his indifference and neglect. That is, Sirius could shut off his empathy towards a being, despite generally being friendly towards house-elves.

‘He (Sirius) regarded him (Kreacher) as a servant unworthy of much interest or notice. Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike… Sirius was not a cruel man, he was kind to house-elves in general. He had no love for Kreacher, because Kreacher was a living reminder of the home Sirius had hated.’

Sirius was not evil. But the neglect emanating from him was very cruel, harsh, and cold. Sirius can shut away all the good within him towards anyone he despised – “And whatever Kreacher’s faults, it must be admitted that Sirius did nothing to make Kreacher’s lot easier –”

‘– comes back from Azkaban ordering Kreacher around, oh, my poor mistress, what would she say if she saw the house now, scum living in it, her treasures thrown out, she swore he was no son of hers and he’s back, they say he’s a murderer too –’

‘Keep muttering and I will be a murderer!’ said Sirius irritably as he slammed the door shut on the elf.

However, Sirius likely never killed anyone, even while serving in the "Order."

Regarding his family and even Regulus, Sirius is also harsh. Even if he, like any child, deep down loved his family, it doesn’t matter because his real words and actions are very harsh and aimed at severing ties. The possible love for them deep down only further highlights his harshness and readiness for confrontation.

“I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal ... my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them”

Likely, he’s ashamed of them, and his hatred also builds a wall between them and himself.

‘Does it matter if she’s my cousin?’ snapped Sirius. ‘As far as I’m concerned, they’re not my family. She’s certainly not my family. I haven’t seen her since I was your age, unless you count a glimpse of her coming into Azkaban. D’you think I’m proud of having a relative like her?’

And at the same time Dumbledore about James:

‘I knew your father very well, both at Hogwarts and later, Harry,’ he said gently. ‘He would have saved Pettigrew too, I am sure of it.’

I don’t know how true this is (though likely, the author speaks through Dumbledore here), but considering that Harry himself is a character whose main traits include the ability to understand and forgive others, perhaps James had this to some extent too. But Sirius lacks the ability to forgive, and this is deliberately shown in the book – that he suffered precisely because of his excessive harshness.

In conclusion, Sirius's harshness and toughness is not just teenage arrogance; it's directly a trait of his personality, something that cannot be overlooked when talking about the canonical Sirius, not his sugar-coated substitute in fandom. Sirius had to grow up very early, and all this left its mark on him.

Of all the Marauders, only Sirius is really harsh and can be truly dangerous.

But Sirius was not cruel in a moral-ethical sense, or more precisely – ideologically. There's no reason to believe Sirius is constantly drawn to the dark side or that he's amoral. His constant fight against his family suggests instead that he formed high ideals within himself. No, Sirius is not amoral; he has difficulty with empathy (especially in childhood), a tendency towards aggression and cruelty (mostly in childhood, he controls himself quite well as an adult. Well, for Sirius Black quite well), arrogance, but he very well understands what is right and what is wrong.

‘She’s got the measure of Crouch better than you have, Ron. If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.’

[wangxianficfinder]

I'm in the mood for...

July 23rd

~*~

1. Hello :D

Itmf a few things

A. xy and wwx both getting adopted by the jiang clan and maybe xy helping to matchmake wangxian?

b. any wangxian fics where xy and wwx are besties

c. wangxian fics with songxuexiao as a bg ship

1A)

Growing from Mud by Aly_H (M, 147k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, SongXiao, SangYang, QingJue, XiCheng, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Adoption, Injury, YunMeng Jiang XY, Canonical Character Death, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Angst Angst with a Happy Ending, Wrongful Imprisonment, PTSD)

1B)

Debts of a Child by Hauntcats (M, 115k, WangXian, dark, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters.) wwx and xy are adopted brother as wwx leaves the jiang clan early on

🔒Tangled Threads by merakily (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Humor, Armchair Therapy, Confused XY, WWX & XY Friendship, XY just has some teenage angst he's working through, this is basically a xy+aq buddy cop dramaas they try to figure out wangxian's whole deal, XY learns how to knit)

🔒 necromancy is a valid career path! Series by coslyons, Skadiseven (T, 41k, WangXian, XY & WWX & WN & WQ, Modern with Magic AU, Seattle, Necromancy, Found Family, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Gardens & Gardening, Mathematics, Running, Growing up) foster kid vibes

[Podfic of] Tangled Threads by Merakily by AuntieIroh (T, 30-45min, WWX & XY, A-Q & XY & SL & XXC, Modern, High School, Humor, Armchair Therapy, XY gets the therapy he deserves, Confused XY, WWX & XY Friendship, XY just has some teenage angst he's working through, this is basically a xy+aq buddy cop drama, as they try to figure out wangxian's whole deal, XY learns how to knit, Song: Angry (The Rolling Stones)) therapist rather than bestie but they like each other!

1C)

🔒 live from new york by varnes (E, 87k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, snl au, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, A Family Can Just Be The Staff Of A Popular Late Night Sketch Show, Pining, Getting Together, Modern, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, and they were ROOMMATES, Frottage, Light Bondage, could not be lighter or gentler bondage) songxuexiao is very subtle but its there

Time After Time by ghosthouses (T, 4k, WangXian, SongXueXiao, High School, 80's Romance AU, Prom, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Mutual Pining, oblivious wangxian, the xuesongxiao is mostly background, fixing love triangles with polyamory, lwj in a suit)

Violet Spider's Choice by tkbenjamin (M, 62k, WangXian, XiYao, SongXueXiao, XuanLi, JFM/YZY, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Kid Fic, Yin Iron, Good Parent JFM, Good Parent YZY, JGY Redemption, XY Redemption, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ Spoils WWX, No Underage Sex, Everybody Lives, Murder gremlins)

~*~

2. Please help, oh wonderful FicFinders! This is an ITMF request: any fic that is really harsh on Madam Yu but does NOT include Jiang Cheng bashing. Especially if she suffers some comeupance for the way she treats WWX+her kids.

🔒 If Wishes Were Donkeys by NightOwl1 (M, 101k, WIP, WangXian, SVSSS, Time Travel Fix-It, Case Fic, Mpreg, Fluff and Humor, Dysfunctional Jiāng Family, Bad Parent YZY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending,   Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, It’s All The System’s Fault, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Warning: JGS, Good Uncle LQR, LWJ and WWX Are LSZ’s Parents, Inappropriate Humor, Family Feels) THE YZY comeuppance fic in my opinion

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending)

~*~

3. Hi do you know any fic about weiying transmigrating into a novel or game or such?

So Call Me a Pessimist, but I Don’t Believe in It by Anonymous (Not Rated, 133k, WIP, WangXian, Food Issues, Family Feels, WWX is a music teacher, WN and WWX are Best Friends from the future, They use memes to talk covertly, Transmigrator WWX, transmigration au, Slow Burn)

~*~

4. Hello! This is my second time asking im in the mood for fics for wangxian suicide squad au or joker au if there is any thank you!

~*~

5. hi!! itmf is there any wangxian fics that has catboy wy like feline misconduct by Papriqua and vicchan @yesibest

stray cat strut by ScarlettStorm (E, 54k, WangXian, No War AU, the world's least mysterious casefic, Comedy, Shenanigans, Slow Burn, a disgusting amount of magically necessary forehead smooches, switch rights)

~*~

6. Hi there. Can you please link me to any "*the most heavy angst* wangxian fic *with happy ending*" where wwx life is constantly in danger as he fought to leave / where wwx desperately tries to gain lwjs love risking everything.

Thankyou for all your hard work

Twin Demons of Mò by XiaoFeiFei (ArfBarkWoof) (M, 358k, MXY & WWX, wangxian, JL & MXY, XY & MXY, JGY & MXY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Abuse, Death, Twin Demons of Mo AU, MXY Lives, Major Character Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Minor Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Canon Divergence, Self-Harm, Found Family, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, POV Alternating) is /super/ heavy but ends very nicely

~*~

7. Hello! ITMF light hearted secret relationship fics? Either canon or modern, I am just in the mood for some fluff and comedy about WangXian trying to hide their obvious interest in each other from everyone else. Thank you!

🔒 A heated Livestream. by satans_dolly_boy666 (G, 1k, WangXian, WWX & OCs, JC & WWX, WWX & NHS, Modern, livestream, gamer, Established WangXian, Possessive LWJ, Supportive LXC, Jealous LWJ, Internally screaming WWX, Internet Famous, Sugar Daddy, OK no but still-, College/University, College Student WWX, LWJ is fucking rich, Gossip, Surprises, Surprise Kissing, Secret Relationship, Idiots in Love, Dorks in Love, Showing Off, LWJ is a little shit, Identity Reveal, Relationship Reveal, Gay Panic)

After the Final Rose by azurewaxwing (E, 55k, wangxian, modern, reality show au, secret relationship, fluff & angst, happy ending, bachelor LWJ, cameraman WWX, smut)

🔒To Make Him a Perfect Bride by Hinu (E, 139k, WangXian, Modern, Feminization, Crossdressing, Marriage Proposal, Romantic Comedy, Meet the Family, Homophobia, Cultural Differences, Discrimination, Wealth kink, Potentially Unhealthy Beauty Standards, Rich LWJ, Power Bottom WWX, Sugar Daddy LWJ, Plot With Porn, Mild Kink, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Coming Out, Implied Canon-Typical Child Abuse, Phone Sex in Public, Sexual Harassment, competent wwx, Financial Domination, Sexual Roleplay, Light BDSM, WWX’s dog phobia, Submissive LWJ, Blood, Smoking, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, WWX’s dissociative panic attacks in later chapters, Gay LWJ, Protective LWJ, Weddings, Wedding Planning, Secret Relationship, Genderqueer WWX, BAMF NHS, Gay WWX, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, fem! WWX is A-Jingyi’s and A-Yuan’s sexual awakening, Office Sex, Airplane Sex, Happy Ending, Class Differences, Crazy Rich Asians Fusion)

~*~

8. ITMF Sunshot Campaign and Burial Mounds Settlement rewrites where WWX still has his golden core? Thank you!

💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27)

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, Canon Divergence WWX does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM and YZY) sort of works by featuring a Wei Ying who keep his core and who helps the Wen remnants, just not in the Burial Mounds.

Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (E, 231k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Mutual Pining, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, unreliable narrator, Found Family, First Time, novel canon relationship dynamics)

~*~

9. Hey! I was looking for some beefy/chubby wangxian fics. Honestly, I'd love to see either of them put on some weight or at least not be just dehydrated muscle-y ppl. Somewhat similar to "the sweetest kind of victory" by stiltonbasket or "as a treat." by Mikkeneko

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) WWX has suffered food insecurity in the past but now is healthily chubby which both he and LWJ appreciate

~*~

10. ITMF Wwx going with A-yuan for the celebration of 100 days of Jin Ling.

💖 A Crying Shame by thunderwear (G, 16k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, burial mounds settlement days, getting together, pining, domestic fluff, love confessions, first kiss, sharing a bed, marriage proposal)

~*~

11. To fic finder I request your humble aid I am trying to find podfics of Wei ying and the juniors adventures together and him being a great teacher and a junior being ducklings

🔒❤️ Joy In the Midst of These Things Series by Glitterbombshell (T/G, 53k, WangXian, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Teacher WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff) Has 2 podfics available

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, The One-Body Problem by SeaNoodle, Problem jednego ciała (podfik) by tehanu, [PODFIC] The One-Body Problem by PolynomialPandemic, [PODFIC] The One-Body Problem by Gwogobo, [Podcast] Juniors just wanna have fun by jellyfishfire, kisahawklin) Seeing the reblog, it occurs to me that The One-Body Problem also sorta fits & has a couple of podfics Mainly WWX & LJY, & LSZ is also a significant character

[Podfic] Grow by jellyfishfire (T, 1-1.5H, wangxian, post-canon, de-aging, character study)

Wearing Down Every Bone [Podfic] by Rionaa (E, 2-2.5hrs, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Podfic Chaptered, Podfic Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours, Podfic Length: 45-60 Minutes) This the has a certain amount of juniors + wwx

Juniors' High Nighthunt by AirgiodSLV, irrationalpie, jennisaisquoi, minnapods (minnabird), PolynomialPandemic, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona), takopods (takonomz) (G, 2k, 10-20mins, Junior Quartet-centric, Minor WangXian, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Comedy, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Podfic Collaboration, Humor, the juniors accidentally get high on a night hunt)

these two are very much "wwx and his relationships to various juniors" but not on adventures together, but hopefully will still work:

[Podfic] A Civil Combpaign by jellyfishfire (T, 2.5-3hrs, ZhuiLing, WangXian, Marriage Proposal, Teenage Drama, Family Bonding, and the Power of Combs as a courting gift, Podfic Length: 2.5-3 Hours)

[podfic] best friends forever by jellyfishfire (T, 1-1.5 hrs, LingYi, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Juniors shenanigans, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours)

((not a podfic but) A Mother’s Love by FirefliesNLightningBugs (M, 170k, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Mostly combo of the Untamed and MoDaoZuShi timelines, Unreliable Narrator, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Miscommunication, Family Feels, Found Family, PTSD, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Political Intrigue, Mystery, POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Strong Female Characters, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Good Brother In Law JZX, Genderbent WWX, Intersex WWX, not a/b/o, POV Original Character, Expanded Universe, Unplanned Pregnancy, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bisexual WWX, YLLZ WWX, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Pining WangXian, Parent-Child Relationship, Getting Together, Protective Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect, MXY Lives) wwx is a great teacher to junior ducklings, but it's oc Jiang juniors (tho the canon junior quartet make brief cameos as babies, cause it's a diverging au post sunshot )

[Podfic] 爱不释手; never let me go by argentumlupine (E, 6-7H, WangXian, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Format: MP3, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror, Mystery)

[Podfic of] To be of use by isweedan (Not Rated, 7-10H, LSZ & LWJ, Found Family, Accidental Baby Acquisition, (kinda), Father-Son Relationship, Missing Scene, Good Teacher LWJ, LSZ is an angel, LJY is the best of brats, Cloud Recesses, Seclusion Lite(TM), Everyone under 20 at Cloud Recesses worships Hanguang-jun, Fluff, Hanguang-jun is the coolest, Worldbuilding, this is not sad tho even though it's set in the time jump, the fluff-to-sads ratio is v high, Audio Format: MP3)

[Podfic] A Matter of Technicality by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona) (T, 2-2.5hrs, JL & JC & WWX, Post-Canon, JC & WWX Reconciliation, As Helped Along By The Junior Ensemble, Feat. Fairy As A Very Good Girl, Fluff and Humor, Family Feels, Some Minor Nefarious Plotting, It's For A Good Cause Though, The Technicalities Of Transmigration, Questionable Fantasy Inheritance Law, Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Download)

~*~

12. Hey I was going thru all your wanxian recs and they are all so good and unique! I'm in the mood for a fic where Jiang Yangli and Lan wangji are betrothed, wwx just like canon becomes friends lwj and doesn't realise that he has fallen for him. He acts like he is very happy his 2 favorite people are getting married but also really sad about it not understanding why. I know its very specific but I'vent found anything even close to this concept on ao3. Hope you can help. Thank you💜 @auspiccake

Neatly Arranged by thunderwear (T, 45k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, lwj’s mother is here but only briefly, RIP, Shenanigans, Fix-Itof sorts, Canonical Character Death, but not all, did i forget to tag pining, because this fic is like 90 percent pining, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

13. Hi! Hope you have a wonderful day! For the next ITMF, can I have fics where the Lan Clan is soft/lenient/have favoritism towards Wei Ying? Kinda like Cluster of Clouds by Nika_Raven_Celeste? It doesn't have to be time-traveling, can be set during their CR or Post-Canon.

Bonus points if other people can literally see the difference of treatment between wei ying and them lol

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 828k, WangXian, WIP, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Getting Together, Supportive LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Supportive LXC, Canon Divergence, Inventor WWX, Possessive LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Fluff and Smut, Burning of the Cloud Recesses, Fall of Lotus Pier, Angst, Sunshot Campaign Not JFM Friendly, split into parts, Part 1 complete, Part 2 complete, Original Character(s)) The Lan clan loves talisman genius!WWX, & someone even notes that LQR is biased towards him

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 76k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX)

🔒The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 64k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

Just Say Yes series by edenwolfie (M, 338k, wangxian, canon divergence, matchmaking, pining, cloud recesses study arc, getting together, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, everyone lives au)

in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad)

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

~*~

14. 👋🏼 Hiii

Itmf

A) Fics where Wei Ying has real siblings , they can be blood related or adopted Excluding jiang cheng and Yanli or any of the characters from the Canon. What I am looking for is OCs . And no transmigration

B) Fics where Wei Ying is blood related to the Jiangs not as son or anything but as cousin or distant relative or so . [If u can find something where the jiangs knows of this and are thus treat him nicely then plz

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 316k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Plot, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX's Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Honeymoon, Wangxian's Baby Fever) gives Wei Ying a sister who features heavily in later chapters

🔒Through the Storm by marhikit (T, 33k, WangXian, WX/OMC, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Not Jiang Family Friendly, WWX gets big siblings that love and adore him, JZX ends up with someone different, No Golden Core Transfer, Creepy JGS, JZX & WWX Friendship, WWX in a different sect) gives Wei Ying an adopted brother and sister.

~*~

15. Hi! Im in the mood for a fic with animal transformation (for either Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji)like full on turn into an animal, any animal works- cat, bunny, fox etc. and the other having to take care of them until they find out how to turn the other back into a human

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

quarantine required by lazulisong (G, 1k, WangXian, cat fic, Animal Transformation)

Tales From Bunny Mountain by telarna (G, 5k, wangxian, JL/LSZ, JL&WWX, so many bunnies, lan buns, Tales From Bunny Mountain [Podfic] by esbielle)

🔒 and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen (T, 11k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Professors, Shapeshifter LWJ, Not Quite Necromancer WWX, Mutual Pining, WWX being an oblivious idiot, Fluff, Love Confessions, yunmeng trio, Family Feels, get JC therapy 2020, Kissing)

🔒💖 blue-ribbon bunny by cicer (G, 15k, wangxian, modern, shapeshifting, supernatural elements, fluff & humor)

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Minor pining, major shenanigans, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar, and getting subsequently rescued by your crush, there were in fact two beds, but LWJ knows what he's about, Blowjobs, Frottage, switch rights, Scent Kink, mildly telepathic sex, courtship via kittens)

Playing Possum by DizziDreams (T, 1k, WangXian, Modern AU, Crack, animal shifter wwx, sometimes meeting the love of your life looks like a naked man playing dead in your laundry room) should work but the human caring for the animal doesn't realize the animal has shifted from human in these.

Kitty-cat by canis_lupus (E, 98k, WangXian, WIP, Cat WWX, Modern with Magic, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, dom LWJ, Sub WWX, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jiang Family Dynamics, Abusive Jiang Family, POV Multiple, WWX Has ADHD, Autistic LWJ, Masturbation)

~*~

16. Hello, itmf works where:

A) No sunshot campaign.

B) -Wei Ying reaches immortality young

Or

-Wei Ying loses/fractures his core due to Zidian

In both cases he tries to hide it

Thank you !

A) A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 74k, wangxian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP) I apologize for not quite understanding what they're requesting but if they're looking for both no war AND Wei Ying becoming immortal at a young age, then I recommend A Life Without Regrets

B) 💖🔒love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27) (link in #8) If they're looking for either A or B, I'd suggest love, in fire and blood for B. Sorry again for my confusion!

~*~

17. Itmf some pwp fem!wangxian

give me one good honest kiss by occultings (microcomets) (E, 25k, Female wangxian, Rule 63, Femslash, Cisswap, Practice Kissing, Pining while fucking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sleepovers, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Strap-Ons, Semi-Public Sex, Lesbian Sex, lwj's canonical tantrum biting, the inherent homooticism of high school orchestra, the emotional catharsis of lesbians beating the shit out of straight men, College/University)

good friends by plonk (Not Rated, 11k, Female WangXian, WangXianJue, Modern AU, Gender Changes, A/B/O Dynamics)

Happy for Now by ScarlettStorm (E, 79k, Female WangXian, Rule 63, Femslash, Cisswap, Practice Kissing, Pining while fucking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sleepovers, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Strap-Ons, Semi-Public Sex, Lesbian Sex, lwj's canonical tantrum biting, the inherent homoeroticism of high school orchestra, the emotional catharsis of lesbians beating the shit out of straight men, College/University)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

masterpost

a list of my haikaveh meta in one place!

The Haikaveh Essay - Genshin Impact and Queercoding: Identifying Queercoding in Alhaitham and Kaveh's relationship, 55k (Latest update: 15/07/2024) - Medium - PDF

Masterpost series of Alhaitham being endeared by Kaveh - Part 1 - The Archon Quest - Part 2 - A Parade of Providence - Part 3 - Kaveh's Hangout - Part 4 - Alhaitham's Story Quest - Bonus: Alhaitham being intolerable for attention - Bonus pt 2: Alhaitham being a romantic through actions

The Archon Quest - Camera angles: establishing Kaveh's importance to Alhaitham - The Archon Quest as a metaphor for Alhaitham and Kaveh's relationship + the resolution in Cyno's Story Quest

A Parade of Providence - The ultimate analysis of how A Parade of Providence changes Alhaitham and Kaveh's relationship - Miscommunication and misunderstanding: a call for change - <ask> Kaveh's reaction to The Traveller vs Alhaitham

Cyno Story Quest II - General Thoughts (Haikaveh/Cynonari) - The Improvement in Alhaitham and Kaveh's Relationship - Kaveh referring to Alhaitham's house as 'Home' and its significance - Reconciliation: Parallels between Alhaitham and Kaveh's research on The Temple of Silence and their abandoned thesis - Looking into the mirror: The balancing of Alhaitham and Kaveh's opposing viewpoints

Miscommunication - Alhaitham's manner of expression - Port Ormos Bulletin Board analysis - The Omissions in Alhaitham's Character Stories - Alhaitham's Egoism in relation to Kaveh - Alhaitham and Kaveh's argument - <ask> Kaveh and Alhaitham's differing philosophies founding their friendship

Queercoding - The Double Entendre of 'Roommates': Madam Faruzan - Parallels Between Kaveh and His Mother: Companionship and Romance - Pride and Prejudice: Alhaitham's Story Quest in Relation to Kaveh - Alhaitham and Kaveh - not 'friends' but 'roommates'

Sumeru Bulletin Board Analyses - Mahamata Bulletin Board - Puspa's Cafe Message Board - Port Ormos Bulletin Board (revamped)

'Home' - Alhaitham as Kaveh's 'home' - Alhaitham and Kaveh As Each Other's Home and Family - <ask> Alhaitham and Kaveh as found family pre and post argument

Alhaitham's Birthday 2024 - Birthday art musings - Lack of Kaveh mention musings

Kaveh's Birthday 2023 - Kaveh's letter: Home and Alhaitham

Other things of interest - <ask> Alhaitham buying wine for Kaveh as an apology - <ask> Alhaitham and Kaveh as Teapot companions: similarities and differences

[haggishlyhagging]

Western minds have been taught to see the snake as penile, but I came to understand how it could be seen as the vagina when I kept a little milk snake (named Madame) for several years and observed how she stretched her mouth when she ate. Like the walls of the yoni in sexual intercourse or childbirth, the snake's mouth swells to giant proportions around mouse, rabbit, fish, or even (for the anaconda) whole deer. Snake in Australian mythology swallows menstruating women and is itself sometimes said to have inner pains and to be menstruating. As the collective female vagina, Snake defines and displays the metaphoric relationship between the younger sister's menstrual flow and the older sister's lochial blood.

The primal vaginal snake image extends several more steps in this complex and well-developed myth of origin. Snake lives in a particular place, a waterhole, river, lake, or other body of water. Natural bodies of water are, as I have mentioned, equated with menstrual blood, possessing the same life- and death-giving capacities. In the Australian myth, Snake emerges from the waterhole womb to consume but also to wrap protectively around the two sisters. In other myths, Snake "swallows" a woman into the water and keeps her there forever. The collective flow is both protective and dangerous: the great menstrual paradox of life and death.

-Judy Grahn, Blood, Bread, and Roses: How Menstruation Created the World

[paimonial-rage]

talks of the past - zhongli

ship: zhongli x reader

synopsis: in which the wangsheng funeral parlor’s consultant tries to restore your faith in rex lapis

notes: 1.7k words, chapter 7 of bookkeeping!verse; with ties to various chapters in the series

It was yet another day you found yourself traveling with Zhongli to Qingce Village. Objectively speaking, it was a beautiful morning. The sun was high in the sky without a cloud in sight, the birds were chirping, and the temperature was nice. Really, there shouldn’t have been anything there to get you down. And yet…

There you were walking with your head down and a faraway look in your eyes. Had you been more aware, you would’ve noticed your companion speaking a few times. You would’ve seen the concerned look in his eyes as he peered down at you. But you were lost in your thoughts, uncharacteristically troubled and insecure.

If you had noticed, you would’ve felt a bit of pity for your companion. It was not often that you were seen in such a depressed state. Really, despite your temperament, you were generally alert and sociable. He often enjoyed the banter that would come about between you two. Truly, you were a dear friend to him. That being said, it wasn’t often you shared your concerns with him. He wasn’t sure if you even would if asked.

He cleared his throat.

“First, is… there anything that’s bothering you?”

It took a few moments for you to respond, almost prompting him to ask again before you let out a long sigh.

“Zhongli,” you began, looking up to him imploringly, “Can I talk to you about something?”

He couldn’t deny the slight start of his heart that came with your question. You’ve brought up your concerns to him before, but those were often accompanied with glares and opinions regarding his financial decisions. This time, however, exhaustion was evident in your voice with dark bags under your eyes. He could not recall doing anything that’d result in your loss of sleep.

“Sure,” he began, careful to keep his wariness absent.

“It’s not a big deal,” you began in a way that implied the opposite. “I’m sure you know how much I revere Rex Lapis. Even though he passed, I still greatly respect the legacy he left behind.”

“Yes,” he replied with a nod. “You’ve mentioned this to me a few times in the past.”

A bit too many, he would add. And with your way with words, it never exactly was… pleasant. At the very least, he was relieved your lack of sleep wasn’t with anything he did as Zhongli.

“It’s just… Lately, I’ve been talking to Madam Ping in my free time, and… I feel like my faith is beginning to be shaken…”

He frowned.

“‘Shaken?’ In what way?”

“I…” You bit your lip as tears welled in your eyes. “Don’t hate me for saying this, but I…”

You hesitated.

“I’m beginning to think he was actually a complete weirdo.”

A… A weirdo?

He cleared his throat, feeling if not just a little attacked.

“In what way?”

You sighed, glancing away with your guilt-ridden eyes.

“In… in every way.”

‘Every way?’

“For instance, take into account Mora…”

Of course, it had to do with Mora.

“Well, I once heard a story that Rex Lapis created the first home out of Mora. I always thought it was metaphorical or just a silly children’s tale, but… Madame Ping confirmed it to be true. When I asked her why he chose Mora, she said it simply was because it was available. He didn’t have any deeper meaning to it.”

He frowned. Ignoring the sense of déjà vu he felt regarding this specific topic, he didn’t see any problem with his actions.

“Yes, it only makes sense. To the God of Wealth and Commerce, what material is easier to get than Mora?”

“Exactly!” You exclaimed suddenly, nearly causing him to flinch. “Only a simple-minded man would come up with such a simple-minded conclusion.”

“S-Simple-minded…”

You nodded.

“Just because he had all the access in the world to Mora didn’t mean the common folk did. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to make the first model home out of materials available to everyone?”

He coughed.

“Perhaps.”

You sniffled.

“It’d be fine if that was the only thing, but Shitou from the Jade Mystery told me that once Rex Lapis stopped by his family’s shop in the past and purchased a spoon made of fine Noctilucus Jade to sample the culinary delights of Liyue Harbor.” You buried your face in your hands. “Why would he spend that much Mora just for a simple spoon?”

“W-Well…”

“I know, I know. As the God of Wealth and Commerce, he had easy access to Mora. And I’m sure it made him happy to contribute to the wealth of Liyue Harbor’s commonfolk, but for someone who spent so much time around his people, it’s like he had no concept of his own creation’s worth! It’s shamelessly extravagant! I didn’t think he was such a wasteful person…”

In the back of his mind, Zhongli had the urge to disagree, to stand up for the good name of Rex Lapis. Really, he wasn’t so shameless as you made him out to be, at least he didn’t think he was. But before he could respond, you continued.

“That’s not all though…” you started again.

Oh no.

“A while ago, I told Meng and the Ferrylady that Rex Lapis wasn’t a self-absorbed narcissist, but…”

Oh no…

“I was talking to Sir Yun the other day of the Yun-Han Opera Troupe? I always knew that Rex Lapis enjoyed the troupe’s shows, but did you know he starred in a few of them? As a warrior, she said. And as you know, Rex Lapis is known as the Warrior God. So that means he basically played himself in operas singing songs about… himself. Can you imagine doing that? How…”

Tears came to your eyes.

“Cringe.”

He resisted the urge to clear his throat.

“Though records say he may have taken part in those operas, I can’t recall Miss Yun stating he starred as himself,” he began. “The assumption he did so is mere conjecture at best.”

That last part slipped from his tongue before he could rein it back in. You never took kindly when his opinions differed from yours, and yet… Well, perhaps he was feeling if not a little attacked. The Yun-Han Opera Troupe had a long history, after all. They certainly would not be more the wiser if some tales became embellished over the years. He thought out of all people you would be more aware of that than most.

Thankfully, much to his relief, you were. Instead of taking to anger like you usually did, you nodded obediently.

“That’s true. I hope you’re right,” you replied with a hopeful smile. “Madame Ping said that not even the great Cloud Retainer watches operas about herself. It’s too embarrassing.”

He did clear his throat that time.

“I suppose not everyone enjoys hearing tales of their past,” he finally let out.

You nodded.

“I’m glad at least she agrees with me that only weird and abnormal people do things like that,” you let out with a bit of relief. “I was getting worried I’m the only person that feels that way…”

He only smiled in response, ignoring the fact that Cloud Retainer only said that it was “embarrassing,” not “weird” or “abnormal.” You really did not hesitate to deal your blows, did you?

“You know what the worst thing is, though?” You asked, looking up at him imploringly. “Legend has it that the gods are able to change their physical forms. There are even tales of Rex Lapis taking a female form. But… out of all the records, there are no depictions of his female form, only that she had amber eyes.”

Zhongli frowned in thought. Though he heard and understood your words well, he didn’t know what was the wrong in what you said. The tales of Rex Lapis were often embellished, especially in the way they painted him as the type to change his form often. The truth of the matter was far from that. Not that he could tell you that, of course. But before he could respond in any way, your eyes became filled with tears.

“I mean, he obviously didn’t mind leaving evidence of his male visage. And as I told you before, he made sure he looked good in every one of them. So if he was narcissistic enough to do that, why not leave anything behind of his female form? You… You don’t think… she was UGLY, do you?” You cried in pain.

If his brain didn’t shut down before, it definitely did then. But not noticing, you continued on.

“That’s the only reason I can come up with. Rex Lapis shares his beauty with everyone, after all, so she must have been so ugly that a narcissist like him couldn’t bear for others to see!” You sobbed.

Every word that left your mouth felt like a blow to his ego. Was this truly what you thought about him?

“So do you see why my faith has been shaken? If we try to view him as a person, Rex Lapis was a simple-minded conceited weirdo that was so ashamed of his female form he wiped any and all traces of her depiction out of existence.”

He couldn’t do this anymore.

“While the tales of the past may be rooted in truth, it’s important to realize they are only that. Tales. Nothing more. As it is, we simply do not know how much we can take as fact. So I would not let it bother you too much, First,” he stated in a matter-of-fact manner.

Though you looked as if you had more to say, you slowly nodded once, then once again with more surety.

“You’re right. I guess I’m looking far too into this. Surely if the great Rex Lapis was revered by so many, even the adepti, he must have been worthy of the respect. I just need to remember that,” you replied bashfully. “I’m sorry to have piled this all on you, Zhongli.”

He shook his head with a chuckle.

“It is alright. I am glad to be your voice of reason.”

Laughing in return, you nodded.

“Yes, thank you. And well, I guess it could be worse, I suppose. Madame Ping was always respectful to Rex Lapis in her stories. She could’ve said that he was the kind of person with… I don’t know. No common sense or something. Like could you imagine if he was the type of person that thought it was a smart idea to bring square cups instead of circle to a party?” You asked with a laugh. “Now that would be horrifying.”

……

Yes, you certainly had a way with words.