#my therapist thinks this is all cool as hell

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[sshoryuken]

The list of characters that Scott can and probably will make worse is growing so fucking fast and I fear for my life

(just me rambling about silly stuff in the tags because I'm happy and having fun)

[jrueships]

still thinking about jaren on podcast p

[whatevenislayf]

i think its funny how i went from trying to find ways to kill myself to finally being content with living just because i decided one day that writing about characters who i wanted to be was fun and ended up feeling alive while rereading them. i even felt excited while thinking up what the next chapter would be like and i think the only other times that i’ve felt excited was when meeting my dogs. that said, i still don’t know what to do with my life, i barely pass my classes and i don’t feel any drive to actually do something because even if i do, i’ll eventually feel like i’m being forced to do it and lose interest. it’s kinda weird putting it out here, but i think whenever i mention it to my friends they think i’m joking? or maybe that i’m lying, i dunno. i try to live as everyone does, but i don’t think it’s the same? then again, i’ve had trouble telling them my feeling and if i do, i’d be shut down by ‘you’re being rude’ comments

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil.

I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.

First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.

So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…

Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)

Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.

Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.

(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)

I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.

But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.

I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.

I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.

It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.

I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.

My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”

But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.

In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.

Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”

As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.

I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…

The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.

So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.

People always say “it’s never too late.”

One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”

I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”

It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.

Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”

But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.

Whew.

So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.

And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.

Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.

Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)

[steddieas-shegoes]

Eddie doesn’t exactly get high often, alright? He just indulges in his own supply when he’s feeling particularly stressed.

Okay, so he’s been a little fucking stressed lately. His supply is down to nothing.

And it wouldn’t be a problem, except he feels like he’s getting a cold, or a flu, or a fucking tumor. He’s been sneezing nonstop and he keeps getting hot flashes and it just doesn’t make any sense. He’s been holed up in his room for a week, not even coming out to see Wayne before he leaves for work. No way he caught something besides loneliness.

Wayne always has some Tylenol on hand, but what good does that do when he’s dying? There’s some allergy meds that Wayne always takes during the first bit of spring, but they could be expired for all Eddie knows.

So he’s dying. Alone. In his too-hot/too-cold room. No music to even soothe his soul on its way to its final resting place.

“Eds?”

Oh, now he’s hallucinating too? Great.

“Eddie!”

He turned towards his door but couldn’t find the energy to open his eyes, even when his hallucination spoke again.

“Jesus, Eddie. What the hell is going on?”

Steve was definitely not a hallucination. He was standing in Eddie’s bedroom doorway, hands on his hips, unfairly attractive scowl on his face, looking at Eddie like he was a lost cause.

He always looked at him like that when he was trying not to show he cared.

“If you don’t have drugs, leave me to die.”

Eddie turned back towards his wall and pulled the blanket over his head, regretting it the moment a drop of sweat made it’s way down his neck. He refused to let Steve see him like this. One near death experience was enough vulnerability for them.

“Wayne called and asked me to check on you. He said you were avoiding him. Any reason or you just felt the urge to see my pretty face?”

“Wayne shouldn’t have called you. I don’t know why he called you. Pretend he didn’t. Go back home. Say nice words about me at my funeral and try to mean them.”

He couldn’t see Steve, but he could feel his eye roll.

And Eddie knew he was being over dramatic. He was over dramatic more often than not. But he was having a rough week, his therapist would probably even say it was an isolation week, and now he was sick on top of it. Dramatics were his way of showing he’d survive.

“Are you sad or sick?”

“Yes.”

“Which one is worse right now?”

Eddie considered the question, considered his answer.

“Sick.”

“Stomach, head, or both?”

“Both. Everything.”

“Got a thermometer around or do I have to kiss your forehead to see if you have a fever?”

Eddie knew he was blushing. He’d never been so thankful for a comforter nearly suffocating him as he was in that moment.

“You’re not my mom no matter what the kids seem to think of you.”

“Thank god for that.”

Before Eddie could unpack whatever Steve meant by that, he felt the bed dip behind him and a hand touching his back.

“Let me check for a fever so I know what meds to get.”

Eddie hesitated. He hadn’t showered in at least three days. He was breaking out in a cold sweat. He was at his least attractive at this moment.

Letting Steve, the guy who he’d been in love with for almost a year now, see him like this? Hell no.

“Eds. Don’t make me call Wayne at work.”

Eddie sighed and pushed the blanket off of his head. He turned onto his back and glared at Steve. He ignored the fact that it took most of his energy to keep his eyes open long enough to do it.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks, I got all dolled up just for you, sweetheart.”

If Eddie had felt better, he may have noticed how Steve blushed, but unfortunately, he had already closed his eyes again.

He felt a cool hand on his forehead and sighed, relaxing back into his pillow.

“Fuck, Eddie, you’re burning up! How long have you felt this bad?”

“I dunno. Last night.”

Eddie didn’t want the hand to leave, it felt too good against his burning skin. He shivered when he felt another cool hand on his cheek.

“I’m getting some Tylenol for the fever and I’m calling Wayne to get you flu meds on his way home. Were you just gonna dehydrate and suffer in here alone?”

“Probably.”

Eddie waited for Steve to argue, to tell him he didn’t need to hide away or pretend he was fine if he wasn’t. He’d heard it plenty from his therapist and Wayne and Dustin and even Max when she felt like being nice. But he was met with a drawn out silence that made him nervous.

He peeked an eye open to see Steve staring down at him.

“I wasn’t gonna like, let myself actually die.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“Uhhh…”

“It’s not like I wouldn’t be here. You know I can handle it. Right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Do you not trust me to take care of you?”

Eddie opened both of his eyes to see Steve pouting. Actually pouting like a child not getting their way. Over taking care of him.

Jesus fucking Christ.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“You’re not my babysitter. I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“But I could’ve taken care of you.”

Eddie’s brain short circuited. He lost every ability to form a coherent thought.

“Eddie?”

This was too much. Steve was too much.

“Can you get me that Tylenol please?”

Eddie felt the bed adjust to Steve standing up and heard him walk to the bathroom across the hall. He took the separation as a small blessing so he could get the very few thoughts running rampant through his brain in some semblance of order.

When Steve came back with the Tylenol and a glass of water in hand, Eddie sat up in his bed.

He took the pills and chugged most of the water, ignoring the angry look Steve was shooting him.

“Thanks. You can go if you want.”

Steve, stubborn idiot that he is, didn’t go. In fact, he pushed Eddie over in bed to make room for himself.

As Steve got comfortable next to him, Eddie lay his head on Steve’s chest and splayed his arm across his stomach.

Might as well go all in if this is a hallucination.

“Just get some rest, Eds.”

Eddie let his eyes flutter closed. The last thing he remembers before slipping into his illness and medication induced sleep was a light press of lips against the top of his head.

[peachesofteal]

I don’t think I have ever been so struck by a piece of writing as I was by “Light On”

Just in case you do respond to this, I’m going to put a trigger warning here because I am going to talk about losing loved ones. So if that makes you or anyone uncomfortable, please, please stop reading now okay? Take care of yourself first.

🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

15 months ago I lost my husband and my parents - they were killed by a drunk driver in a car crash. I thought the whole thing was a sick joke at first when I got to the hospital. It’s really weird how our brains just like, try to protect us from reality… idk. Anyway, I went completely mute for 3 days. I physically couldn’t speak. My whole life fell apart in the span of an hour and I think my brain did what it could to keep me from processing that. At least that’s what my therapist said.

I am extremely fortunate to have a couple of girlfriends that did absolutely everything for me while I had to plan their funerals. I felt absolutely nothing the whole time. All of the feeling, screaming, sobbing and smashing shit came the night I had to bury them. My best friend had her husband pack my stuff that night and I lived with them for a year.

I ended up meeting a special forces soldier when I stopped by the tattoo shop my husband went to 8 months after he died. He had gotten a really fuckin cool “V for Vendetta” half sleeve a few months before the accident.

The guys name was Tom and I truly believe he brought me back to life. It took me a while to tell him everything & I tried to push him away after. Similar to Simon, he wouldn’t let me.

We aren’t dating - I’m just not ready for that yet and he knows it and respects it. But honestly, reading “Light On” gave me a little bit of hope that one day I’ll be ready again. I know I’ll never heal completely. Most days I still feel the gaping hole of loss that comes with losing anyone you love, but I’m holding out hope that one day the hole will start to close - at least a little.

Your story gave me hope. And to anyone and everyone who has read this whole ridiculous, trauma dumping ask, hug your loved ones a little tighter for me tonight. I would give anything to hug my parents again. I would give anything to kiss my husband one more time. I know I’ll get to one day when it’s my time, but until then, please do that for me if you can.

Thank you, Peach. I hope your days are filled with magic and love. Thank you for your stories. You’re one hell of a writer❤️

Hi

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know condolences are nothing in the face of such tragedy but I still offer them to you, with the whole of my heart. I am so, so sorry.

Grief, to me, is something that never leaves. It never fades it just… changes. It becomes a part of you, but as time passes, I find it to be… less sharp, but never less poignant. (Not saying that will be your experience.)

I know you’ll always carry your grief, your loss, but I hope one day its weight becomes less heartbreaking, even by a fraction.

I’m beyond myself thinking that something I wrote could give you hope. I’m so happy you’ve found someone who has been able to bring some life back into your days. I hope you’ll be ready again one day, if that’s what you feel is right for you, and I’m glad there could be someone at your side who is patient, understanding and steadfast.

I wish I could give you a hug, or scream with you, or cry with you. I hope I can continue to bring a little bit of hope to your life 🩵

[gildedlead]

All of the Wayne kids’ favorite Leaguers: True and Real and Accurate

Dick: Wonder Woman! Bear with me. Please. I think Superman was his favorite BEFORE he met Clark. Once he learned how big of a dork he was, the magic was sort of lost, doubly so when Clark became his unofficial stepdad. Diana? She stayed cool. Not to mention that in his Robin days, she often humored whatever hare-brained impulses he’d get. Please picture Batman’s bewildered expression when he finds Dick dangling from the Watchtower light fixture he specifically designed to be impossible for him to reach. Diana just, -shrug- “He said please.” You threw him Diana. You threw that child. She’d probably still throw him if he asked nicely, hell, she’d probably do it even before he has to ask. It’s ‘Boy Wonder’, not ‘Boy Bat’.

Jason: Black Canary. ‘Wonder Woman is Jason’s fav’ believers PLEASE hear me out. I think that Diana is Jason’s favorite in a ‘celebrity crush’ way, but Dinah is Jason’s favorite in a ‘cool aunt’ way. He met her unofficially at the Watchtower, but actually started hanging out with her thanks to Roy. They both like motorcycles and kicking ass, plus Young Justice having Canary as a therapist melds well with my vision of her helping Jason heal. And I think she’s used to yelling at Bruce on Oliver’s behalf, so it’s no big to do it on Jason’s too.

Tim: The Flash! If Dinah is the cool aunt, Barry is the cool uncle. Guy that shows up at the function with all the best snacks. He might eat half of them himself but damn if he didn’t bring them. In all seriousness, Tim saw pretty great merit in knowing a forensics guy that he can basically talk to anytime he’s stumped with a case without having to go through the “sorry to wake you” song and dance. Barry occasionally gets unhinged texts that are in the vein of “hey can you go about ten minutes back in time and tell past me about _____”. They’re usually pretty low stakes but sometimes there’s just a “got stabbed, do-over?” jumpscare sprinkled in. Bruce will never ever get shit from Barry about kid troubles. That man is a saint in Flash’s eyes.

Cass: Captain Marvel. She didn’t like him at all during their first meeting. For a person that’s good at reading body language, I imagine that seeing genuinely childish behavior on a grown man would be giving some crazy mixed signals. Once she learns that his powers are magic in origin rather than being alien or meta, her mind opens up a little more to the possibility that his exterior appearance might not be indicative of his actual identity. Cass guesses his age by their next proper meeting and makes it her business to keep an eye on him, always asking Bruce about him after he returns from League missions. Your honor, that 7’5” brick wall Champion of Magic is actually just Cass’ little buddy. She’s gonna get him some ice cream or something.

Steph: Green Lantern. Hal and Barry are like uncles, except if Barry is the cool one, Hal is the cringe one. Lucky for Hal, being a boyfailure is a good way to amuse Steph. Those two are gonna spend hours arguing with Bruce just for the hell of it, backing each other up on completely incorrect claims (Steph does it because it’s funny, Hal does it because he believes her). He does get bonus points for bringing her cool space snacks whenever he comes back from trips off-world. One of her favorite foods is a sort of hi-chew/gum thing from some other planet in Sector 2418 that doesn’t dissolve or lose its flavor, even after chewing it for days on end.

Damian: Aquaman. He’s a king. Like, an actual king. And he can communicate with fish. Arthur heard about Damian’s temper from the rest of the Leaguers and straight up does not believe it because every time he’s spoken to Damian, it’s been “hello your majesty can you introduce me to an octopus I have a few questions for it”. This one’s short. But I feel it speaks for itself.

Duke: Superman. Clark was NOT told about Signal taking up the day shift in Gotham until he was flying in to compare notes (read: flirt), with Bruce and met Duke when they both went to intercept a carjacking. Clark tries to be responsible like “I feel obligated to let you know that Batman doesn’t take kindly to metas in his city”, only for Duke to point at the big ol bat on his chest. After that, Duke usually intercepts Big Blue’s flight path anytime he comes into Gotham and the two just kind of hang out and shoot the shit while he does his patrol. Duke is also a little bit stoked to be regularly hanging out with The Superman, but even after the awe wears off, he can’t help but still think of Clark as just a cool, friendly guy. He gets someone to share the airspace with, Clark gets a bat he can stay in the sun with, it’s a win/win all around. Congrats Clark, you got one.

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.9 because the brainrot is getting to me

Luke: Thanks for not telling Tom what happened. AJ, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this. Tom: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we barely know each other? Luke: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending. AJ: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people. (I just realised that I already had this quote in a past post)

AJ: Okay, what does A stand for? Luke: Arson. AJ: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? Luke: Barson. Sam: *laughter* AJ: What stands for C? Luke: Commit arson. Sam: Oooo. AJ: D! Luke: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. Sam: *more laughter, slightly more evil this time* Tom: Hey, check out my Spongebob umbrella! *Tom opens his umbrella while indoors* Sam: Tom, that’s bad luck… Tom: Chill out, Sam! Luke, kicking down the door: WHO SUMMONED ME?!?! Tom and Sam: *screams* (Senor Pork-core) Tom: Hey, are you free? Sam: No, I’m expensive. Store Worker: Would a “Tom” please come to the front desk? Tom, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to AJ, Sam, and Luke: I believe they belong to you? AJ, Sam, and Luke, simultaneously: We got lost. Tom: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me- Luke: Tom, when’s your birthday? Tom: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me? Luke: ...So I know when to wish you a happy birthday. Luke: But also so I can plan your downfall. AJ: So, what is Luke to you? Sam: The reason I wake up every morning. AJ: ...That’s adorable. Luke earlier that morning, barging into Sam′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!! AJ: *stands in trash can* Sam: AJ, not again! You're not trash, you're at least recycling! (I like to think that AJ just wanted to stand in the trash can) Sam: Big day today, Tom. *holds up two identical flannels* Mustard stain or ketchup stain? Tom: Mustard, looks less like blood. Tom: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way. Sam: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way? Luke: *writing a letter* Luke: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...and it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard. Tom: Damn, the power went out. AJ: Don’t worry, I got this. AJ: *stomps foot* Tom: What-? AJ: *Sketchers light up* Sam: You can’t have a gun on stage! Luke: WRONG! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play. (Sam's just jealous that he doesn't have a gun) Tom: Oh no! I’m doomed! Sam: Seriously? All you have to do is not insult Luke at his own memorial service. Tom: Exactly! It’s impossible! AJ: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, that’s fucked up. Like c'mon, you know I’m dumb as hell! Luke: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby. Tom: What baby? Luke, crying a bit: Me. Tom: That's not funny. Luke: I thought it was funny. Tom: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

[howlingday]

No Ad-Block?

Jaune: Alright! Time to test out this new armor!

Jaune: Whoa... Paladin on the word go, huh? Okay, this is definitely gonna be a tough fight for me.

Jaune: ACTIVATE BODY ARMOR!

Armor: Activating body armor... Armor: ...after these messages~!

Jaune: What?! What messages?!

Yang: Splazzers is now free~!

Jaune: Wh-What the hell is this?!

Yang: (Moans)

Paladin: (Rams Jaune)

Jaune: (Launched, Glides down)

Yang: Don't play by yourself when you can play with me~!

Jaune: Haha, guys, very funny. Now stop with these ads and give me my damn armor!

Armor: Do you wish to skip this ad?

Jaune: YES! (Barely dodges missile) That was too close!

Jacques: Landscape! For the closest shave to your manhood.

Jaune: Another ad?!

Jacques: Don't trust any other razor near your-

Jaune: (Punched across the grounds) How many ads am I gonna have to skip through?!

Jaune: THIRTY SEVEN?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Armor: Do you wish to skip this-?

Jaune: YES! (Rammed again) Rgh! Okay, focus! If I can just keep my cool, I should be able to-

Terra: What are you doing, little brother in law~?

Jaune: OH GOD, SKIP! (Punched again) I don't think... I can last much longer...

Paladin: (Picks him up, Tosses him)

Jaune: He's gonna kill me!

Blake: You won't last thirty seconds playing this dating sim~.

Jaune: If I get one more ad, I am going to save the paladin the work and kill myself!

The Curious Cat: Are you feeling down? Personal Assist will pair you up with a licensed therapist who got their certification at the SDC.

Jaune: Dammit, skip!

Paladin: (Rams him)

Jaune: (Catches ramming, Deflects) Alright. If I can't take him head on, then I'll just have to hit him from above!

Jaune: (Jump with gravity dust)

Paladin: (Launches SAM, Hits Jaune)

Jaune: Dammit! How does he keep finding me?!

Nora: Worried about people finding your location? Then you, my friend, should use NoraVPN~!

Jaune: Will you stop with these ads so I can stop getting raided?!

Armor: Did you say RAID?

Ruby: RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS! New DLC available now-

Jaune: SKIP! (Jams sword in Paladin) Gotcha!

Paladin: (Steps forward)

Jaune: Oh no...

Paladin: (Rockets flare)

Jaune: No, no, no! NOOOOOOOOO-

Paladin: (Rams Jaune into the wall)

Jaune: Dammit... I'm going to die... And after coming so far...

Armor: Ads annoying you? Would you like to pay for a premium subscription to bypass all ads?

Paladin: (Steps on Jaune)

Jaune: (Holds Paladin in the air)

I'D RATHER DIE

Jaune: (Shoves off paladin) SKIP! (Slices) SKIP! (Hacks) SKIP!

Jaune: (Unleashes barrage of sword attacks, Skipping ad after ad after ad) SKIPSKIPSKIP SKIPSKIPSKIPSKIPSKIPSKIPSKIPSKIPSKIP SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

Paladin: (Pile of scrap)

Jaune: (Panting)

Pyrrha: I sawed this cereal box in half~!

Jaune: Skip.

Armor: You have successfully completed all of the ads! Now equipping battle armor~!

Jaune: ...Fuck you.

[normal-internet-user]

Hi, could you do a bayverse tmnt x teen sibling reader (gn pls) where they catch their sibling vaping/smoking?

I feel like Raph and Mikey would be a bit okay with it (probably if it’s vaping) while Leo and Donnie would be freaking out about it

Just like to start this off by saying, don't smoke kids! Lung cancer isn't cool, and as a teenager with a dad who smokes, the one thing he constantly tells me it was the worst mistake of his life.

BAYVESE CATCH SIBLING READER SMOKING/VAPING

.........................................

Oh boy.

I can't really think of how you'd get caught,

Maybe Leo found your vape or your cigarettes.

Immediate freak out,

"(Name)! (Name), you have 10 seconds to explain what the hell this was doing in your room. " he holds up the pack of cigarettes/vape.

Leo wouldn't be angry, just worried and dissapointed that you'd do something like that.

Donnie is surprisingly the one who's pissed.

He'd go on and on about the dangers of smoking, the life long side affects, addiction, "I though you were better than this." etc. etc.

Once again, Raph is upset you'd lie about it.

I don't think he'd be very happy about the smoking either, but the biggest thing for him is the constant lying.

Mikey is so worried about you.

Why did you start smoking in the first place?

Stress? Anxiety? Peer pressure?

He's trying to understand your reasoning for the bad desicion, he just wants to make sure you're ok :(

You have constant eyes on you now.

The boys decided the best way to make you quite was to cut you off cold-turkey,

So now one of them always stays behind to watch you., and make sure you don't try to start again.

Yeah, now you're irritable and pissed off, but it's what's best for you.

They'll try to find you more healthy ways to cope, meditation, figit toys, chewing gum, and stuff like that.

And Leo, Donnie, and Raph probably won't trust you for a while.

Donnie is so fucking petty about it too.

"I'm going to school! See you guys later!"

"I'm testing you for nicotine when you get back! And don't even think about using gum, that won't hide shit!"

*Very loud, and very angry teenager door slam*

It's just 'cus he cares :(

Mikey and Splinter pretty much turn into your therapists.

Splinter makes it a point to leave you bowls of sliced fruit if your having a particularly irritating day.

No matter how pissed off you are, you could never bring yourself to snap at your dad.

You'll thank him for the fruit, and he'll sit with you for a while.

Just to keep you company.

Mikey is also spared from your wrath.

Most of the time.

Sometimes if your cravings gets bad enough, you'll snap at him.

But you always go back and apologize.

Your family will stay with you up untill your completely sober.

All the way until those cravings for that bad bad nicotine go away!

....................................

I'm just going to end this by once again saying, don't smoke kids.

It isn't good for your health, and addiction is no joke. If you're an adult, you do you, but kiddo's and my fellow highschoolers, at least wait until it's legal to do. Wait until you're older to make a desicion like that.

[cuubism]

If you’re still doing it you KNOW I’m a slut for the physical therapy au 👀👀👀 (🤘five-and-dimes)

@five-and-dimes I had to go and actually WRITE more but here it is XD. don't know if this is in the end of chapter 9 or if there'll have to be an epilogue. fuck.

--

Dream is fidgeting. Shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet, rubbing his fingers together. Hob watches this for a few minutes before finally saying something. “Are you worried he’s going to show up? Because I’ll throw him out.” “I know you will,” Dream says. Still, he keeps watching the room nervously, all the people meandering around, chatting amongst themselves. “It’s not that. It’s… what if they all hate it?” Hob takes his hand and squeezes it. “Did you used to get nervous before?” “Sometimes. But I knew, at least, that I felt confident in what I had made. What anyone else thought of it was of less importance.” He looks up at the painting they’re closest to, a large, cool-toned piece. “I still feel sometimes that it is not right, now.” “Maybe it’s right for now,” Hob says, and Dream looks at him questioningly. “Didn’t most famous artists have seasons? They didn’t always work in the same style for their whole careers.” “I suppose that’s true.” He sighs. “I am still getting used to it.” “You also don’t have to sell them, if you don’t want to,” Hob points out. “Remove that whole bit from the equation.” “I want to know that I can,” says Dream. “That this, as a career, is not hopeless.” “I’ll buy them,” Hob swears. “One, that would result in a net of zero money coming in. Two—” his lips twitch up— “you can’t afford me.” “You’re right, I can’t. You should have tipped your physical therapist, then maybe I could.” “I’m already sleeping with my physical therapist, now I have to pay you as well?” “Sex can’t buy paintings, Dream,” Hob says sadly. “Well, unless…” “Hmm. Perhaps I’ll just do a portrait of you for my next exhibition,” Dream muses. “A nude one.” “Hell yeah,” Hob says, and Dream, evidently anticipating a no, starts giggling. “Just don’t sell it. Makes me feel weird to think of some random guy with one of my nudes above their mantlepiece.” “One of your nudes?” Dream asks, raising an eyebrow. “There are others I’m unaware of?” Hob just winks at him.

[yells-of-the-not-so-danged]

Batman: Gotham War was pretty BAD, but at least we got:

A cool scarecrow

a heartbreaking hug

fashion ✨

Scarface robin 💖💖💖

and the worst Jason face I've ever seen!

all for the low low price of the most poorly written batman I've ever encountered (tho granted i am new-ish to modern comics batman)

(spoilers below, also my descent into insanity)

HOW THE HELL DID THE BANK GET A HOLD OF THE MANOR, DID HIS PARENTS NOT PAY THE MORTGAGE??? EVEN THO THEY'RE *RICH*???????? IS THIS SET UP (poorly because it makes zero sense) IN ONE OF THE EARLIER COMICS??

WHY DID BRUCE-MAN BAT-WAYNE, THE AMN WHO IS AS INFINITELY RICH AS THE WRITERS WANT, NOT THINK, "OH! I'll JUST SET UP A FOUNDATION THAT SPECIFICALLY CATERS TO THE PEOPLE WHO FIND THEMSELVES IN HENCHMEN POSITIONS! I CAN, SINCE I'M BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE, SET UP A PROGRAM WHERE IF THEY ATTENDED SOME CLASSES TO TEACH THEM VALUABLE TRADES THEY CAN RECEIVE SPECIAL WELLNESS CHECKS SO THEY CAN SURVIVE UNTIL THEY CAN GET AN HONEST JOB! THE GOVERNMENT MAY EVEN DECIDE TO HELP FUND IT IF I PHRASE IT LIKE THAT!"

... some writers really do just want to write batman punching people, huh...

(edit: I'm adding more now that i've had a few more minuets to just... let it all sink in...)

LOCK BRUCE UP IN ARKHAM FOR BS HE DID TO JASON HOLY SHIT

CALL CPS FOR DAMIEN BECAUSE YOU KNOW FOR A FACT BRUCE HADN'T BEEN TAKING CARE OF HIM IF DAMIEN FALLOWED HIM HOME

DID HE REALLY JUST MAKE DICK THE DAD NOW??? HELLO??? CPS??? ANY MILDLY SANE THERAPIST??? PLEASE HELP???

also, what is Selina gonna do now?? am i really going to keep reading modern batman comics to find out???

OH GOD I HAVE EVEN MORE TO SAY

BRUCE IS UPSET AT SELINA'S PLAN OF STEALING FROM THE RICH BECAUSE STEALING IS A CRIME AND (most importantly!)

HIS PARENTS WERE RICH!!!!!

i am not being hyperbolic when i say i am screeming. I quite literally am, or was, because this. is. insane. and the more i think about all this the more confused and upset i get because WHAT??? WHAAAAT???? HUHH? WHAT????! I AM GOING FERAL

(please tell me the writers will pull bat-mite out their ass to retcon all this shit please [lease plzzzz )

(who the hell green lit this shit??? is it supposed to be absolutely insane??? is that the arc going on right now????)

WHY was the Vandal Savage plot line needed??? The rogues would have teamed up eventually, they did not need Savage to coordinate that and there could have still been a mole in Selina's crew. Then when the rogues finaly strike the Bats and the Cats could have worked together and then finaly talked things out ( if this was writen by a sane person)

also they kill Ra's Al Ghul of screen?? is he dead for good?? explain??

the more and more i think of this the more unwell i get.

YET ANOTHER EDIT:

it's been a month or two and only now has it hit me...

IS THERE JUST A GIANT LAZARUS PIT ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF GOTHAM NOW??????????

THIS BETTER BE PLOT POINT LATER OR I'M GOING TO RIOT

i also want to acknowledge Salina more; even though this was equally her story i barely talked about her and i am sorry. You deserve so much better Salina, both from me and from Bruce. You had an idea that would be considered good in the context of Gotham and what the writers were willing to humor

( even though had the writers been sane she could have offered my earlier proposal to Bruce, but sadly we don't live in that timeline U_U )

...Hey, how did she survive falling in the newly born Lazarus pit?? was she wounded enough that the pit healed instead of killed?? is that what we're going with here??

[a-doubleh-x]

Why I like Chaggie

Hey! My last casual ship review did pretty well, so here I am with another! Needless to say, but thank you all for the interactions, I appreciate it very much 🥰

Last time I talked about Charlastor, a notorious controversial ship and today I'll talk about a surprisingly controversial ship: Chaggie. Why do people dislike this ship? I'll go a bit into it on the second half of this post, but first I'll talk on the positive I see in this cute couple.

First of all, as a guy in his late twenties who's been on at least one relationship, I will say that I appreciate a relation that's mostly based on comfort and support. Some people might think that's boring or not quite the basis of romance, but I think quite the opposite. Johnathan Decker, a licensed couples therapist on youtube (you might know him from Cinema Therapy) often talks about how safety and mutual understanding are the basis of any lasting relationship.

At the start of the Amazon series, Charlie and Vaggie have been together for 3 years, which is evident in many of their day to day interactions. They're comfortable with each other, they rely on each other and best of all, they still coo every now and then over how adorable the other is.

That is not to say the relationship is without conflict, which in my opinion as a writer it's the lifeblood of any good story. Vaggie is clearly quite codependent of Charlie, which is why a large portion of her self worth is based on being useful to her. However, I think the two of them do a decent job of talking through the problems this brings sometimes, such as episode 3.

I think it's cool that the relationship seems to work despite their rocky moments. Charlie most likely thinks a person like Vaggie is a breath of fresh air in Hell, she's selfless, loyal and dedicated. That's probably the reason why she has so much patience with her, a feeling that I'm certain is mutual. Vaggie is clearly very aware of how silly and idealistic Charlie is, in fact she often tries to nudge her to be careful with her attitude. And even though she may not agree with everything, she still always supports her without appearing judgemental, which I think speaks volumes of her character.

Now, let's talk about the shortcomings in the face of the audience. Some people think there's not enough substance in canon to be sold on the couple, which I think is a valid opinion. Some people argue that Chaggie's relationship is boring and not quite as interesting to watch as Charlastor, which I don't entirely agree with. Some people plain dislike or hate Vaggie because they think she's just a naggy chick who is an awful partner to Charlie in every way, which I *definitely* don't agree with.

My opinion falls in a more moderate standpoint. I think, even in the series, their relationship isn't boring, but it could've been presented better. While I said earlier that I think conflict is good in a story, I think a problem in the series that's probably unintentional is that most of the story beats with Charlie and Vaggie are negative.

In episode 3, they have a fight over their lack of communication. In episode 6, Vaggie puts her own secret status as a fallen angel over Charlie, which harms her later. And in episode 7, Charlie spends most of the episode mad at Vaggie and they make up offscreen, which is something unilaterally most fans believe was a mistake.

To the showrunner's credit, there are some positive major story beats. There's Charlie's trust fall on Vaggie, which was cute. There's their beautiful duet in episode 8. And there's them fighting alongside each other in the final battle.

Unfortunately, the fact their arc is a bit wonky and doesn't have a proper buildup makes it so that the climax (the duet) may feel a bit unearned. I don't want to make this whole post about the series because I could spend all day talking about it, so I'll just say for now that i underdtand why some people aren't sold on the ship.

I will say. Some fans have some very beautiful, gorgeous pictures of this ship. There's this great comic made by squids-and-fruitcake that's been running around about Charlie giving Vaggie a gift for Christmas (here's a youtube link in case you want to watch a dub, I couldn't find the original)

I think it's a great example of why this relationship works: they love each other. They may not completely understand each other's circumstances, but they try every day and are still together because of their mutual effort.

Charlie herself, as Hell's number 1 laughingstock can really use the support and the fact that Vaggie supports her even though she doesn't have all the answers means a lot to her. She brings her stability, peace and affection, all things she lacked until she met her.

Vaggie, on the other hand, who was plunged against her will into a pit of violence and cynicism also needs Charlie's perspective. She loves the fact that she cares about something bigger than herself, that she wants to help damned people like her, which given her circumstances I think it's something she also needs in a fundamental level.

That haz bin my review for today! What do you think? Do you like Chaggie? Do you think it could've been written better? What's your favorite interaction between them? Let me hear your thoughts! It's been fun to put my thoughts down for casual reviews, I hadn't done it before, so expect more in the future while I'm still working on the next chapter of my fanfic.

I think I already have an idea about what my next Hazbin post is going to be about (hint: it has to do with Angel Dust). Thank you again for all the love, hope to see you all soon!

[atthebell-moved]

hi, i completely agree that the fandom has a problem with misogyny and often fails at self-introspection. my question is, do you have any resources/tips/thoughts on how to be better about it? even, how to recognize it in yourself the first place? "ok i'll stop being a misogynist now" is a lot easier said than done, especially for people who might not be that educated on the subject, and majority of the people in this fandom are quite young as well.

this is long as fuck and possibly somewhat incoherent bc it took so long to write but i did my best

my biggest tip for people who don't know much about misogyny is to look at your own behavior and learn how to clock what you're doing as sexist.

are you criticizing a female creator? think about why you're doing it, what the actual beef you have with them is. if it seems to be just a sense of discomfort or thinking they're annoying or overly loud or pushy, think about male ccs who act the same way and why you dont consider them annoying. are you annoyed with them for being on a male cc's stream? why? does it feel like theyre taking up too much attention? do you get annoyed with them for talking too much or flirting with guys? for gaming especially-- do you get annoyed with them for not knowing something or being "bad" at a game? think about why that is and why its just funny when a male cc is bad at games or doesnt know something.

a HUGE problem i see in this fandom is the Madonna-whore complex, repackaged as the little sister-racist dichotomy (kudos to @yourlittlemenace for that phrasing).

if a female cc is deemed to be "playing nice" (doesnt talk too much, is "nice", streams with male ccs but doesnt flirt with them, isn't "overtly sexual"), she's the little sister of the group. all the male ccs "protect" her, she literally folds their laundry, she doesnt call out how people treat her, and the fandom pretends that this is a normal and cool way to treat women who are public figures. this also goes for mom/big sister/etc. if you think you haven't done this, think about all the aus where you've forced puffy into some kind of maternal or sisterly role when it made no sense. then think about how pissed people got when she decided not to be the server therapist and was "mean" to Tommy (in lore, with permission. that she didnt even need to get. see that clip i rbed earlier from her podcast.)

if the fandom decides she doesnt play nice, if she flirts with male ccs too much or stands up for herself or points out how unfair it is that she's being treated this way, she gets demeaned, harassed, and shunned by the fandom. consider, again, puffy. consider how niki flirted with wilbur and talked about misogyny and got called a racist for *checks notes* "speaking to schlatt and fundy" and "not being a native english speaker". she got called a slut and a queerbaiter for kissing another woman despite being bisexual.

consider how hard people went down on hannah for having said the r slur several years back versus how hard they went on dream for the same thing. and how people dug it up as a direct response to her being on stream with dream. consider how every time hannah talks about how unfair it is that the mcc subreddit treats her like trash, she has to delete all her tweets bc they harass her to hell and back and act like she's an asshole for pointing out their hypocrisy.

the fandom doesnt do this across the board; i shouldnt have to say this, but its not an everyone versus no one issue. some people do this outright and loud, some dont seem to realize theyre doing it, and a few people dont do it at all (incredibly rare, i can count on one hand the number of people who genuinely seem to try to avoid these issues, which is why im complaining).

in terms of lore, have you ever once done analysis on a female character? why do you think you haven't? the bechdel-wallace test is an (imperfect) way of gauging how a piece of media ignores women and prioritizes men. think about the fact that there are FOUR female ccs on the DSMP and they are continually ignored in favor of male characters. consider that puffy and aimsey both talked about trying to do genuine lore and getting shafted, either because no one was online and wouldn't put in the effort to stream with them or because they received insane amounts of criticism for breaking anything on the server, despite the clear lack of "no griefing" rules and the precedent that you can blow other people's shit up (tommy leveling one of puffy's builds, amongst many other examples).

a quick thing about ships: have you ever wondered why m/m ships are so popular? the general consensus amongst people who care about feminism and are into fandom studies is that for a long period of time, m/m was hugely popular because women are so rarely written as full and complete characters in any media. so people took to engaging with m/m ships and writing about them because they were the most fulfilling relationships, and because misogyny led them to be predisposed to be uninterested in female characters.

say an m/m ship is incredibly popular, something like, i dunno, john watson and sherlock holmes from bbc sherlock. lets also say the canonical media presents one or both of the characters with a female love interest. how do you think a fandom that prioritizes m/m ships and is primed to be disinterested in women as characters (either because of our society's role in teaching people that women do not matter or because of fandom's history in assuming female characters are not fleshed out) is going to react? if you said theyre going to send undue amounts of criticism her way and act like its an act of homophobia to give a canonically straight character a female love interest, congrats, you've figured out a huge component in fandom misogyny. take this, amplify it over several decades, and add the psychic damage that supernatural gave society. queerbaiting is bad but mistreating female characters in service of nonexistent queer relationships is also bad.

this is relevant in general but i also believe its relevant for the dsmp because of the complete lack of m/f ships. aside from phil and kristin, who are literally married irl and kristin isn't even on the server, there are no m/f ships that involve female creators. this is not, despite what you may think, due to the inherently yaoi nature of minecraft roleplay. this is because the creators, including the male ones, are afraid of the blowback of m/f flirting and how fucking awful people are to female ccs anytime it happens. once again look at niki. as another example, consider how notfounders harassed the living daylights out of mxmtoon for flirting with gnf on twitter. if i was a cc i would avoid it like the plague too considering how happy people are to dig shit up about them or accuse them of being a slut or an attention whore/"pick me girl" for speaking to a man.

one last thing, this is more about fanart than anything else but stop drawing women to look like teenage boys. the amount of fanart i see where i literally cannot tell if someone has drawn niki or tommy is fucking insane. niki has curves. draw her with them. if you cannot draw women or people outside a very specific body type you cannot draw. fatphobia and misogyny have a clear overlap.

i cant think of anything else and ive already spent forever on this. look into feminist media analysis. think twice about how you react to female ccs & female characters. consider not just what characters have interesting stories but who is allowed to have interesting stories. you might be neglecting someone who has a lot going on because you're dismissing a female character as inherently less likely to be interesting. you might not even know someone has an interesting story because the fandom neglects it so completely.

as a final little note: like i said earlier, if you're not familiar with gender & sexuality studies, you may not know this, but homophobia and transphobia are rooted in misogyny. the idea that gender is immutable and rigid is because of the patriarchy. this is why gendered slurs are used against queer people and why queer men in particular get accused of and demeaned for being feminine. your understanding of queerphobia is incomplete without considering how sexism plays a role.

also go read everything rayne fisher-quann has ever written but especially this piece on getting woman'd and listen to you're wrong about

[luna-eclipse2000]

Sweet Summer Heat

Jean Kirschtein x reader

It’s a warm summer day in the middle of July. It’s beautiful and sunny out. Kids are playing on their lawns, people are at the pool, and just enjoying the heat in general. Except for you. You can’t handle heat at all. You get cold drinks and eat ice cream during the winter. If it’s 25° celsius or higher, you’re not leaving your house until it cools down. No, you prefer to sit inside in the nice air conditioning so you don’t overheat.

Nothing can get you outside in this heat. Not one, single-

Ding.

Your door bell rings. “I’m not expecting anything.” You say to yourself. The bell rings again so you get up and walk over to the door. You look through the little window that’s at the top and see Jean standing there. You feel your heart flutter before quickly opening the door. He’s standing there in his blue button-up short sleeved shirt (one of your personal favourites of his) and a pair on white shorts. He usually leaves his hair down but since it’s hot out, he put it up.

“Hey.” He greets you simply. “Hi. What are you doing here?” You ask. “I, uh, wanted to see if you wanted to hang out.” Jean answers. “Just me?” You ask. “No one else?”

“I asked Sasha, but she’s taking some seafood class with Niccolo.” Jean says. “Connie isn’t picking up. And Mikasa’s hanging out with Eren and Armin.”

“Oh… So I’m a backup?” You say. You meant to say that in your head, but it had other plans. You stand there, feeling like a jerk. “Shit, sorry, that came out wrong.” Jean quickly apologizes. “No, I was always planning on asking you. It’s just that no one else wanted to come.”

“Oh, ok.” You say, feeling slightly less embarrassed. “Um, I’m not sure. Where would we be going?”

“I was thinking down by the water.” Jean answers. “There’s a music festival going on. I thought it’d be fun. There’s live bands, obviously, some food trucks, rides and games.”

You cringe at the thought, but don’t let it show on your face. As you stand in the doorway, you can feel the humidity. “Um…” You say. You’re about to decline his offer, but the look in his eyes clenches your heart. He looks dejected, knowing that you’re about to say no. You can tell that all he wants is to hang out with someone. So against your better judgment… “Sure. Why the hell not?”

His head perks up. “Seriously? You want to go with me?”

You nod. “Yeah, of course! Sounds like fun!” It actually sounds like torture, being around so many sweaty people in the hot sun, but he looks so happy and it’s too late to take it back now. “Let me just get changed and put on sun screen. Come in.”

You stand aside so he can enter. “Thanks.” He says. “Wow. Your house is freezing.”

“Well we’re not in the middle of winter, Jean.” You remind him. “I’d prefer to be cold while inside, not sweating my ass off. I’ll be right back.”

You head upstairs and change into the coolest set of clothes you can find. A pair of cotton shorts. A cotton tank top. And a pair of sandals so you don’t have to wear socks. You head back downstairs and into the kitchen where you take a second to rummage through the junk drawer in order to grab your sunscreen.

“Have you put any sunscreen on?” You ask Jean as he stands by the front door. “Yeah, don’t worry.” He answers. “Do you need any help?”

“Could you do my back?” You request. “Sure.” He says and walks over to you. He takes the bottle of sunscreen from your hand and puts some into his. You move your hair out of the way as he starts to rub the liquid over your exposed skin. His hands move methodically as he focuses on getting every inch of skin so you don’t get burned.

It feels nice to you, almost like a massage. You swear he should’ve been a massage therapist. I mean, his hands are large enough and he certainly has the muscle strength to get out any knots he’d find.

Jean has finished rubbing the sunscreen in for about a minute now but he just wants to savour the feeling of your skin. Sure, it’s a bit sticky now but that doesn’t deter him. He still thinks it’s the softest thing he’s ever touched in his life. Then he finally stops, much to the dismay of both of you. He thinks you were starting to find it weird, but you were honestly starting to fall asleep where you stood.

“Alright. Let’s go.” He says and the quickly turns around. You can’t see it since his back is already to you, but he’s blushing a bit too hard for his liking. You follow him to the door and mentally groan as the humidity hits you like a train. You follow him to his car, which was a hand-me-down from his mom for his 18th birthday, and hop in the front seat.

It takes about ten minutes to get down to the water and another ten before you finally find a parking spot. You weren’t complaining, though, as you let the AC blast in your face. You can hear the loud music from here as you exit the car.

“Alright, where do you wanna go first?” Jean asks.

You shrug. “I dunno. Why don’t you choose? You’ve been here before, right?”

He nods. “Yeah. I came last year when Marco was playing.”

“Oh, really?” You ask as you two start to make your way down to the festival. “I haven’t seen him in forever. Is he playing this year?”

“No, he’s over in Australia doing some charity work.” Jean answers. “Of course Marco would willingly go to a place with spiders as big as my head.” You say. “What, you don’t like spiders?” He asks teasingly, knowing you don’t.

You visibly cringe. “Hell no. I can barely handle little house spiders. Remember when I used to call you over to kill one for me?”

“You mean in the middle of the night when I was finishing off an important project?” He says, remembering the exact moment you’re talking about. “How could I forget you screaming into my ear through the phone and then climbing my back like a goddamn tree?”

“Ok, don’t be so dramatic.” You say, smacking his arm lightly. “I was not screaming.”

“That’s what it sounded like to me.” He says. The crowd on the street gets thicker as you two reach the entrance to the festival. “Wanna go on a ride?”

You look at the area they set up and see a few little rides: A ferris wheel, obviously, a little rollercoaster, one of those gravity rides where the floor drops out, and one that swings like a pendulum. “Yeah, let’s do the pendulum!” You exclaim excitedly. The two of you head over and get into line.

When it’s your turn and you take a seat, you groan at the feeling of sweat under you. “They couldn’t wipe the seats off first? When I stand, everyone’s gonna think I pissed myself.”

“You want me to check to make sure you’re good to walk?” Jean offers. “Sure. Thanks.” You accept. He’s a sneaky bugger, Jean. He’s using this opportunity as an excuse to look at your behind without you getting suspicious. But then he starts to feel like a gross frat boy, taking your trust and running with it. So he shakes his head as the ride starts to move.

The both of you scream and holler in joy at the feeling of swinging high up into the air, and then plunging back down towards the ground. The ride ends about a minute later and Jean does as he offered, but doesn’t take his time like he did with the sunscreen. “You’re fine. Don’t worry.”

You sigh in relief. “Oh, good. Now, c’mon. Let’s go play some games.”

You two immediately head over to all the games set up with cheap, dumb prizes for people to win. Jean doesn’t really care about the prizes. Any time he wins one of these games, he ends up giving it to the person he beat. It just brings out his competitive side which he loves to feel. It’s like a small adrenaline rush.

So as you two sit down at the water shoot game, your friendship basically goes out the window. You’re now his enemy. And enemies need to be conquered. Two more people step up to the game and take the seats beside you. Seeing the determined, smug look in his eyes makes you want to beat him.

“Alright, ready?” The carney says. “Set. Go!”

You aim the water gun right at the centre and quickly start to pull ahead of Jean’s little character. Suddenly, you feel him poke your ribs, causing you to stop pushing the button. You gasp and tart to press the button again. Unfortunately, those few seconds were enough for him to beat you.

“You little cheater!” You scolds playfully. Jean just smiles in response but then stops as he hears the kid beside you start to cry. He gets up from his seat and kneels down in front of the boy. “Hey, kid. Which prize do you want?”

“H-Huh?” The boy asks through his tears. “Which prize?” Jean repeats. “C’mon there has to be one you want, right? I don’t really care for the prizes, so tell the carney which one you want.”

“Um… I’d like that one.” He says as he rubs his eyes. “The orange penguin?” Jean asks as he looks at the prize. “Nice choice.” The carney gets the prize down and hands it to Jean, who then hands it to the boy.

“Alright, James. What do you say?” His mother asks. “Thank you!” The boy says, smiling wide as he hugs his new toy. “No problem, buddy.” Jean says as they walk away.

You feel your heart swell watching the interaction go on. “That was so sweet of you.”

“Ah, well, didn’t want to leave the little man disappointed.” Jean says, brushing off his kindness. He notices the look you’re giving him and looks away with another blush on his face. “Where to next?”

You two wander between the different games until you spot a prize you desperately want. It’s a white polar bear with a blue tie. “Oh, my god, that bear’s so cute!”

“You want it?” He asks. You nod quickly. He walks up to the carney and hands her the money. It’s one of those balloon pop games. The sign says that he only has to pop five in a row to win a medium prize, but he’s determined to show off. He grabs the darts and starts to quickly throw them into each balloon, popping each one as he does. You and the carney are pretty impressed by his aiming.

“I think I deserve two prizes for popping them all.” Jean says smugly before flashing you his signature smug, shit-eating grin. “Uh, yeah. You can say that again.” The carney says. “Which two would you like, sir?”

“Which would you like?” He asks you. You obviously point out the bear, and then you look and see a matching one with a red bowtie instead. “You want both bears?” You nod. “Then both bears you shall have.”

The carney grabs both bears and hands them to you. I tuck the blue tied one under your arm and then hold out the red tied one round him. “What you can’t carry both yourself?” Jean asks. “Need a big strong man to help you?”

“No, I wanted us to have matching bears.” You answer innocently. His heart feels like it’s actually going to explode. You smile up at him as he takes the bear out of your hand. Anyone else who looks at Jean right now would just see him as a gruff, 6’4 man. But he’s pretty sure he’s melting into a puddle from the cuteness.

“You wanna head towards the stage now?” You ask. He nods silently as he holds the bear. As you two walk back out into the sun, you realize that it was probably a bad idea winning the prize so soon. You now had to a carry a fluffy plush in the scorching heat. You almost die just at the realization, and then die again as you feel your hand heat up. You pass by the indoor building where the bathrooms, event space and the regular food stands lives, and want to run into the nice air conditioning.

But you promised Jean to go watch the bands for a bit so you soldier on. The music is good. Some songs make you want to rip your ears off, but others aren’t bad. Typically these types of events are for first time performers and indie bands. You can easily tell who the indie players and who the newbies are. The sun starts to get so hot that you stumble into Jean. He immediately notices how red you look.

“Hey, why don’t we head inside and cool off?” He suggests. You quickly nod and leave your spot to head over to the building. There’s a few people inside waiting for the washrooms and just cooling off in general. Jean runs over to an empty table so no one else claims it. You take a seat and place your bear on the table top. He does too but keeps his eye on you just in case you decide to faint.

He cools down relatively fast. But you still feel boiling. “Goddamn, is it hot in here or is it me?” You ask. “It’s you.” He responds quickly. He didn’t mean for that to come out. His face turns red as the both of you stare at each other. “Uh- I mean, you still look like you’re hot. So I’m just gonna, uh, go grab you some water.” He quickly stands up and rushes over to the vending machine.

He sighs in relief thinking he just saved himself from any awkwardness. You, however, feel a bit sad and a little insecure now. You know that you were reading too much into that. It was pretty obvious that you were still really hot from the hot. And you did ask the question. But you did hope that he thought you looked hot. Or at least pretty. But you’re drenched in sweat so that look’s probably out the window by now.

He returns with the cold water and opens it for you. “Here. You’ll feel better.”

You nod silently and take the bottle from him. The sudden cold on your hot hands causes you to gasp. It feels good. You take a sip and then quickly start to chug it. “Good thing I got that for you.” Jean says when you eventually stop drinking, over half the water is gone. “You were seriously dehydrated. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to keep interrupting your fun.” You answer honestly. “You wouldn’t have interrupted my fun.” Jean says. “I just want to hang out with you. That’s where the fun is.”

You smile, feeling a bit better. But you still have that aching feeling in your stomach over how fast he explained his words. “We’ll stay inside for as long as you want, ok?” Jean says. You nod, taking another sip of water. You both go on your phones. You start playing a game a solitaire to relax mind while he just pretends to be doing something. In reality, he keeps looking at you.

He can see that something’s wrong. You were talking your head off not too long ago about the bad music and which songs you did like. But now you’re oddly silent. Did he do something to set you off? Did he not recover as well as he thought he did? Oh great, now you were feeling embarrassed that he called you hot, the very thing he tried to avoid. He watches as the red flush disappears and is replaced by its normal hue. He swears he can see tears prick at your eyes, but he opts not to say anything in fear of humiliating you further.

He knows he didn’t ask you outright, but he’s viewing this as a date. He thought he was doing so well earlier. He won you prizes, got your heart to melt, showed off his skills, made you laugh it was going great! Then he had to open that stupid horse mouth of his and ruin it all. “You ready to go back out and walk around?” Jean asks. “We can go try some of the food trucks. I hear there’s one that sells gelato.”

You nod silently and put your phone away. He had to make this not-official date better. He couldn’t drop you off at home with you like this. So off to the food trucks you went. You finally find the gelato truck and get in line. “What are you gonna get?” He asks. “I’m thinking of getting salted caramel.”

You hum for a second as your eyes scan the menu board. Some of the items are covered with a Sold Out sign so you have a bit of a limited amount of options. “I’m gonna get lemon blueberry.”

You two get up to the server and you tell him what you want. Jean then quickly adds his orders and pulls out his wallet again. “Jean, I can get my own gelato.” You say. “I have money.”

“I know you do but I asked you to come with me, so I’m paying.” Jean says. You open your mouth to protest again. “Don’t argue with me, it isn’t gonna work.”

So you close your mouth again as Jean hands over the money. “Have a nice day.” The server says as you two walk away with your bowls of gelato clutched between your hands. You two walk around aimlessly while enjoying the sweet treat. You watch as he licks his spoon. You start to wonder what it would feel like for his lips to be on yours. When you realize that you’re getting jealous of a damn treat, you start talking about how his job at the art museum is going.

You chat and joke, but Jean can still sense that something’s off. The sun begins to set a bit so things start cooling off. The crowd thins, which also helps the temperature.

Taking one final bet into fixing what he did, he brings you over to the Ferris wheel. “You like Ferris wheels, right?” He asks.

You nod. “Yeah. I like watching the buildings go bigger and smaller.”

You two get up to the front of the line and wait until the red car stops in front of you. A couple gets out and you’re helped in first. Jean quickly slips the operator a bill. “Stop us at the top, please.” He whispers.

The man takes the money and nods as Jean quickly follows after you. He places his bear to his left so that there isn’t a barrier between you two. He watches as your face lights up, completely ignoring his surroundings. The car stops perfectly at the top of the ride giving you the best view of the lake and the city. You look down at all the people walking home from the festival.

“So, you gonna finally tell me what’s wrong?” Jean asks suddenly. You gasp softly and look at him. You thought you were doing such a good job at hiding your feelings. But his eyes tell you that he knows something’s off.

“What- What do you mean?” You stutter. You don’t want to ruin the end of the night by saying anything. It’s vain and a little selfish. “You’ve been acting off since we went inside.” He says. Damn it. He was such a good observer. “I thought you were still just overheated. Then I thought you might be hungry or had low blood sugar. But you’re still off. Did I do something wrong?”

You open your mouth to act dumb again. But he’s got you totally trapped. “I…” He looks at you with concern, determined to fix whatever it is. Determined to make you feel better. You sigh and look back out at the scenery. “You called me hot…” He sighs. He knew it. He knew that slip up made you uncomfortable. “and you didn’t mean it.”

“Huh?” Is all he can say. “You said ‘It’s just you’ when I asked if it was hot inside or if it was just me.” You remind him. “Then you said that you meant that it had to be me because I still looked hot. And then you went and got me water.”

“I thought it was because I had callee you hot.” He asks. “Wait, what?” You ask, looking back at him. “Ah, shit.” He thinks to himself. No back tracking now. “I, um… I did mean to call you hot. But I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I thought it made you uncomfortable so I reiterated what I meant. Why are you upset I didn’t stick to my word?”

“Well…” You fiddle with your fingers nervously. “Because then that means you think I’m attractive, like how I think you’re attractive.” Jean’s heart almost stops at your confession. “I know everyone says you look like a horse, but I don’t. I’ve always thought you were incredibly handsome. So… yeah, I guess that’s it. I just wanted someone to tell me I look nice.”

Jean blinks for a few seconds as the ride begins to turn again. How could you be insecure about yourself? And you’re so insecure that you just want someone to say you look nice? Not stunning or gorgeous? Is the bar really set that low? He figures he needs to get a shovel and dig in order to reach it if the goal is basically just ‘say I look nice’. Now he’s on a mission. No way in hell is he gonna let you go a day without being complimented.

“I always think you look nice.” He confesses. “You look stunning no matter how you dress. Like when you were in your PJs when I came to get you. You looked adorable. And now? You look amazing! You could wear a damn potato sack and I’d still think you’re the most beautiful person on the face of the earth. I thought I was being so obvious!”

“Obvious?” You ask, tilting your head slightly. “About what? About how you like the way I look?”

The ride stops so you two are forced to get out. He doesn’t answer right away as he walks to the rope that sections off the pathway and the water. “Not just the way you look.” He says. “You in general. Your laugh. Your personality. Your voice. I love it all.”

“You love me?” You ask, feeling your heart leap with joy. “Of course.” He says, turning to look at you. “I’ve just never mustered up the courage to ask you out. So I kinda… never actually asked anyone else to join me today. I made all those reasons up. I knew today would keep them away from here since it’s so hot. But I guess I never stopped to consider that you’d get overheated, too.”

You smile softly. “Next time, we’re staying inside.”

“Next time?” He asks hopefully. “Well, yeah.” You confirm, gently taking his hand in yours. “This doesn’t technically count as a first date since you didn’t properly ask me. So we still need to have one. I mean, if we’re gonna start going out.”

He swears fireworks start going off. You rub your thumb over the back of his hand, looking down and smiling softly. “Then would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Of course, I would.”