#negative symptom holder

[the-masquerade-council]

Schizophrenia (Symptom) Holder flags

(Please note in the context of schizophrenia symptoms positive/negative refer to addition/subtraction of experiences, not "good"/"bad". Also these are intended to be specifically for schizophrenic systems, rather all systems with psychotic disorders or all schizo-spec systems)

Schizophrenia (Symptom) Holder

Schizophrenia (symptom) holders are alters that hold either specific symptoms, multiple symptoms, or all/most symptoms associated with schizophrenia. For example a system may have hallucination holder, who only holds hallucinations, or schizophrenia holder who holds all/most symptoms, this flag can be used for both.

An alter holding schizophrenia symptoms may mean that they experience them more than anyone else in the system, they started fronting to handle the symptoms so other don't have to, they hold memories or trauma related to the symptoms, etc. They may do a combination.

In order for an alter to be a schizophrenia (symptom) holder, the system as a whole must have schizophrenia, even if not everyone in the system experiences the symptoms of it.

Positive Symptom Holder

Positive symptom holders are alters that hold either specific positive symptoms, multiple positive symptoms, or all/most positive schizophrenia symptoms. Positive symptoms are those symptoms that are often present during a psychotic episode including: hallucinations, delusions, as well as disorganized thoughts and speech.

An alter holding positive symptoms may mean that they experience them more than anyone else in the system, they started fronting to handle the symptoms so other don't have to, they hold memories or trauma related to the symptoms, etc. They may do a combination.

In order for an alter to be a positive symptom holder, the system as a whole must have schizophrenia, even if not everyone in the system experiences the symptoms of it.

Negative Symptom Holder

Negative symptom holders are alters that hold either specific negative symptoms, multiple negative symptoms, or all/most negative schizophrenia symptoms. Negative symptoms are characterized by defects of normal emotional response or other thought processes the five recognized domains of negative symptoms are: flat-affect, alogia, anhedonia, asociality, and avolition.

An alter holding negative symptoms may mean that they experience them more than anyone else in the system, they started fronting to handle the symptoms so other don't have to, they hold memories or trauma related to the symptoms, etc. They may do a combination.

In order for an alter to be a negative symptom holder, the system as a whole must have schizophrenia, even if not everyone in the system experiences the symptoms of it.

Colour meanings

These are primarily based off of this flag, with a bit of inspiration taken from this flag.

Purple is used to represent positive symptoms. Silver, black, and white are used to represent negative symptoms.

[literallyagod]

It's soooo annoying when people cry in front of me. I know they want comfort, usually, but I can't give it to them. And while sometimes me, or my headmates, feel a bit guilty, I also just don't care. I warned them I have no / low empathy, I had told them I cannot comfort them and so they should not expect it from me, even when I'm their friend. My headmates may be able to put up a mask of empathy, but I cannot, and I don't care if that upsets people or not.

[mannequinjoints]

...

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for system persecutors!

System persecutors are headmates who cause harm, either to themselves, their headmates, or their body. Many systems may find they have persecutors, and may be unsure of how best to navigate living with their persecutors and forming positive bonds. But persecutors are still headmates, maintaining a valid, while often maladaptive, role, and they deserve to be embraced and accepted in their system and the plural community as a whole! So this post is for all the persecutors out there!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to persecutors who have been traumatized, hurt, ostracized, or bullied by others, whether inside or outside their system!

🔥 Shoutout to persecutors who lash out at their headmates in order to protect their system!

🥀 Shoutout to persecutors who want to change for the better, but don’t know how!

🏵 Shoutout to persecutors who struggle with self-harm, intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, and other potentially harmful thoughts or actions!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to persecutors who are also symptom holders, hosts, littles, protectors, or have some other role in their system!

🔥 Shoutout to persecutors who are trying out less harmful coping strategies as a way to deal with their negative emotions!

🥀 Shoutout to persecutors who are learning to apologize after they’ve lashed out at their headmates and are taking steps to form better relationships with their system members!

🏵 Shoutout to persecutors who have recently relapsed, backslid, or fallen back into old habits or harmful coping mechanisms!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to persecutors who don’t want to change - you still deserve respect and compassion as you are, no changes necessary!

🔥 Shoutout to persecutors who have dealt with being jailed, isolated, or otherwise cut off from the rest of their system for any reason!

🥀 Shoutout to persecutors who often feel angry, frustrated, anxious, lost, upset, lonely, or depressed!

All persecutors in all systems are deserving of love, happiness, and comfort, with absolutely no exceptions! Regardless of your past, your feelings, how you view the world and how the world views you, if you are a persecutor in your system, we are wishing you the very best. We truly hope you can find hope and recovery if you need it, something joyful to hold on to, and someone in your corner who cares about you as you are now. If nothing else, please know that we care about you and we’re rooting for you!

We know this might be hard, but please do your best to show yourself some patience and kindness today. You exist for a reason, and change takes time and dedication! You are allowed to take things slowly, breathe, and show yourself some grace today. We hope your future is filled with treats, good surprises, comfort, safety, and a sense of belonging! Until then, remember that you belong here, and we are so happy to share this space with you.

[urfavoritesecretadmirer]

Stuff that would get us fake claimed bc this trend is so amazing in my eyes

(And no I'm not asking to get fake claimed bc apparently I'm not allowed to make jokes)

High alter count

We don’t have an exact number, but our overall estimation is pretty high (not in the thousands but yk 100-150).

Not being able to control switches

We can’t control when we switch but it’s usually in stressful/negative situations. We also can’t control who takes front.

Alter variety

Istg, people are weird when it comes to alter variety. It’s always “oh your alters are all similar? Fake!!” Or “oh your alters are all very different? Fake!!” Our system has a lot of variety.

Has a TikTok account

“Omg, a system with social media?! Fake!!” Believe it or not, we only started our TikTok in late June of last year. We’ve known we are a system since way before that. So yes, systems can have TikTok accounts. Because I guarantee there are thousands of systems on TikTok who are not open to being a system that you will never know about.

Posts about system stuff

Damn, I didn’t know it was illegal for systems to be open about being a system. I didn’t know my literal existence, labels I choose to use, etc were taking away from the “real systems”. My apologies, Mr/ms high and mighty ceo of Reddit moderation as your 9-5.

Has simply plural

“Omg an app for systems?! And you’re using it?! As a system?! Fake!!” I’m not allowed to use one of the few useful apps that can log switches, keep track of members, send messages, help you meet other systems, make polls, make your layout look pretty if you want, etc without getting fakeclaimed. It’s almost like it’s an app for systems, and systems use it. Shocker.

Uses pluralkit

“A system using a meaningful way of communication and another good way to keep track of members?! Fake!!” Apparently redditors think that pluralkit worsens amnesia barriers and derealization. Is this true?? If so tell me, but it doesn’t happen for us. Because obviously, I’m not fronting all the time. How am I supposed to feel derealization if I’m not there?? Also it’s not like our main account profile is by default the host. Our user has <3 and our systag in the name for christs sake.

Goes to school

I know, shocker, I have a life. I’m not physically incapable of having an education as a system. And believe it or not, I have decent grades too. Systems are traumatized, not stupid (directed at that one boy at my old school).

Doesn’t want final fusion

Excuse you, but this system has been here for me and has been around since I was five (I think). I’ve only now fully accepted the fact I’m a system. I think it’d be a bit rude to just say “alr you can go now” like I don’t wanna be alone tf.

Introjects

We ain’t Introject heavy, but ig even having two introjects makes you fake. This may be a shocker, but it’s more common to have other disorders alongside DID/OSDD than to not. This, and again, this may be a shocker, but it includes ADHD and autism.

In sys relationships

Me, the host, has personally never been in an in-sys relationship. But I think in our system there’s like, two? And then there’s a lot of ‘it’s complicated’ or ‘situationship’.

Decent communication

Obviously, it could be better, but we overall have decent and healthy ways of communicating with each other. Usually it’s talking out loud or leaving little notes.

Alter intros

Because apparently it’s a crime against being neurodivergent to share about your alters. We obviously can’t share everything for obvious reasons but we want yall to get to know us.

DNI alters

This may be a hard pill to swallow, but DNI doesn’t always mean the alter is some dangerous monster. It can mean that alter is too little to be online, it could mean that alter is a social anxiety symptom holder, it could mean that alter just doesn’t like talking to people outside the system/at all. These are just a few examples. Or maybe, that alter just doesn’t wanna be fuckin interacted with. But these alters should still be acknowledged. Why? Because healing is a thing. Locking them away isn’t healthy. Maybe they want people to know not to interact with them. But noooo, all DNI alters are awful people apparently.

Other mental health disorders

We have anxiety and depression (diagnosed and genetic), medically recognized ADHD, and tics. And yes, all of our alters have tics because it's caused by your brain and we share the same brain.

[archangel-level-coining]

battery & drainer !

a battery is a headmate that energizes the body when fronting. this effect may extend to others already in the front, whether purposefully or not.

a battery may also be:

✖️ a symptom holder for a disorder or condition characterized by hyperactivity

✖️ a mood booster, such as an optimist or jester, etc.

a drainer is a headmate with the opposite effect of a battery; exhaustion.

a drainer may also be:

✖️ a symptom holder for a disorder or condition characterized by depression or general low energy

✖️ a negative emotion holder

✖️ a sleeper

✖️ a battery who leaves the body exhausted after their activities while fronting

colors picked from the symptom holder flag by @lupine-chiro, and apple’s battery icons

[disabledunitypunk]

The irony of this post having the ableism tag when it's ableist against intellectual and cognitive disabilities and openly sanist:

(It reads: i hate "acoustic" jokes. you can't do something plain stupid and say oh im so acoustic. no. you're just stupid.

i hate "i have adhd today". no you don't have adhd if you're "crazy" and moving a lot. stop.

"oh im so delulu" no. you're not delusional. it's not funny.

stop using disabilities as a 1. joke 2. as an excuse when someone tells you to stop being annoying or acting stupid. stop.

with the tags "ableism", "disability" and "actually disabled")

Let's go point by point.

"i hate "acoustic" jokes. you can't do something plain stupid and say oh im so acoustic. no. you're just stupid."

I'm not sure if this is meant to say autistic, or if it's about actual autistic people being silly about their autism and misspelling it on purpose for that reason.

But autism often co-occurs with intellectual disability. It also is commonly comorbid with disorders that cause cognitive disabilities. It is itself a developmental disability.

This means that being unintelligent is a common, neutral component of many people's autism. It's not a bad thing. It's important to unpack the ableism of why you think being "stupid" is a bad thing. Why is a part of your identity and existence that you have no control over, can't change, and is most often less present due to specific disabilities causing it to be so, a bad thing?

Why are you, as an (assumed) autistic person so desperate to distance yourself from autistic people who are not intelligent and who have intellectual disabilities?

"i hate "i have adhd today". no you don't have adhd if you're "crazy" and moving a lot. stop."

I will admit, "I have ADHD today" is not correct.

(I am not sure, to be fair, if systems can experience only some alters having ADHD. I know autism is structural, so even if symptom holders experience it more acutely, every member will have a physically autistic brain still. With ADHD in large part being based in the behavior of neuroreceptors and production of specific neurotransmitters, I can't say that I know enough to say whether the actual mechanisms driving ADHD are structural or not.)

But hyperactivity is a common symptom of one subtype of ADHD, and can cause "moving a lot". I don't know if the use of "crazy" in quotes is how the people saying "I have ADHD today" are describing themselves, or if it's a label the original poster is putting on themselves, but it's honestly not great either way.

I'm not going to police who can reclaim the word, as someone with several classic "insane" diagnoses - schizophrenia, DID, MaDD, and multiple cluster B disorders. There are people, especially people with more severe ADHD, who have absolutely faced awful sanism regularly for their ADHD.

But I do think that describing a person you believe is not neurodivergent in the specific way you're talking about as "acting crazy" is just reinforcing sanism. It's positing "craziness" as an inherently negative thing, especially in the largest context of essentially fakeclaiming and whining about neurodivergent "trenders" "making real neurodivergent people look bad".

Craziness - having beliefs that don't align with consensus reality (the reality most people experience), or acting in ways other people believe are "irrational" or "don't make sense" - is not an inherently bad thing.

It has, however, been weaponized against the majority of neurodivergent people for centuries if not millenia to justify both suppression of harmless neurodivergent traits. It has also been used to justify violent subjugation over traits defined as harmful (including ones that actually are) that cause us significantly more distress and dysfunction than they cause harm to those around us. Instead of supporting compassionate, consensual, rehabilitative care, we have had our human rights stripped and our autonomy violated "for our own good" and in the name of "fixing us" for both "our" sakes and those of "sane" people.

Everything from hostility towards functional multiplicity and person-based understandings of plurality; to forced medication of schizophrenia and trying to discourage us from neutral, pleasant, and even helpful harmless delusions; to the erasure of both immersive and maladaptive daydreaming; to the pathologization and stigmatization of personality disorders - that's all because people believe being "irrational" is bad.

And "sane" people get to decide and write the books on what is "rational, good, and normal" and what is "crazy, insane, irrational, and bad". Completely rational trauma responses, even in children, are pathologized. Craziness is also conflating with being "noncompliant", being inherently more likely to be violent and to be more violent than average, and essentially to be an inherently "bad" person who has to try to be "sane" in order to be "good".

Finally, " "oh im so delulu" no. you're not delusional. it's not funny."

Honestly, I've never seen an actual delusional person use "delulu". I don't think it's in the reclamation stage and don't know if it ever will be. No notes here basically, we're in agreement. I would simply note if an actual person who experiences delusions describes themself as such, that is their right, and it's a good idea not to assume without further context.

So, "stop using disabilities as a 1. joke 2. as an excuse when someone tells you to stop being annoying or acting stupid. stop."

1. Joking about your own disabilities is fine. It can even be an important coping skill. Joking about disabilities you don't have is going to be inappropriate and harmful in most circumstances, so unless you've educated yourself on the rare exceptions it's better to refrain from doing so. However, I have had the experience of trusted friends making harmless jokes about my disabilities, so I won't say it's never possible.

This is however "joking about" disabilities and not "treating the entire existence of the disability as a joke". We agree that the latter is unacceptable.

2. Reasons for being disabled are not excuses, and if you can't handle disabled people being "annoying", let alone unintelligent, you're already deeply ableist. Disabled people are going to have conflicting access needs, coping mechanisms, and simple symptoms of their disability that WILL annoy you.

Annoyance is not harm. You don't get to demand someone not be annoying for your convenience, but especially when that annoyance is a result of disability. Even in the case of an actual need based on your own disabilities (such as a sensory seeking person sending a sensory avoidant person into a state of overwhelm and meltdown or shutdown), the responsibility is as much on you to remove yourself from the situation or find a compromise that works for both of you as it is on them.

But annoyance? Sometimes disabled people are annoying. It's not ableism to say so. I am annoying as a result of my disabilities. I stim loudly. I have bad body odor. I infodump. I am uncontrollably hyperverbal.

The posts about "people like autistic people until they show symptoms of autism" are about this person. They're about people who demand that disabled people never inconvenience them or be unpalatable in harmless ways due to their disabilities.

And of course, once again, being against unintelligence is inherently ableist. It doesn't matter if you are intellectually and/or cognitively abled. It doesn't matter if you've never been annoying in your life (I can guarantee you have. The OP of the screenshotted post very much has. Do I have a right to demand they not make that post because it annoys me, and to say they are using their disabilities as an excuse for the abject ableism present within it?)

The issue is not a simple issue of poor wording or awkward language. It is the ideas behind the language that are actively harmful.

I actually don't take issue with people using words like "crazy" or even rarely "stupid" in a positive or neutral context. "That concert was crazy", "I had a crazy day", or even "that steak was stupid good" are not inherently harmful. It's not about policing language, it's about interrogating the ideas behind the language you use.

Admittedly, I even take less issue with people who are "crazy" or "stupid" (who choose to reclaim such terms, or have been labeled as such by others) choosing to use the terms in a negative context when not directed at other people. I don't like the reinforcement of such things as inherently negative and find it can still be ableist, but at the minimum context matters. If I say "my car had a crazy engine failure" that's a lot different than "my boss was acting crazy", even.

Not using the terms negatively is a good rule of thumb, though. Different words have different negative connotations and have been used differently against disabled people, as well. The variation in stigma means that how you handle one word doesn't work for any other word. Note that my example for negative usage only included "crazy". I don't think I am capable of determining what negative usage of "stupid" or similar is appropriate, if any.

Basically, it's not bad to be unintelligent or crazy, which are usually themselves a result of disability. You can be annoying and unintelligent as a result of disability. Acknowledging that is not ableism, but throwing those people under the bus is. People are allowed to be annoying, especially as a result of disability, because you are not entitled to not being annoyed. Annoyance is not harm, and it's not "making excuses for it" to attribute it to disability, in part because you don't need to justify your right to exist in a way that other people don't like if you aren't harming anyone. You also don't need a reason to be unintelligent, but disability is a valid reason.

[rin-and-jade]

Arrays of Colored Jars: A Post about Holders

Well, yeah, jars. We all always keep something inside ourselves, be it memories, or feelings, or anything else,, they're categorized in a distinguished way that makes it pop out apart from all the mundane information that are accumulated for future prediction or for keepsakes.

But when we want to talk more about holders as jars, then they can even go further for things such as bearing charged events to keep the system stable and not get washed away by the sheer overwhelming somatic/emotional intensity, or, make it easier to manage symptoms that comes along with an event/cause/reason. These jars are not only meant to keep something passively, but serve a purpose.

Okay.. so what's a 'Jar' to you?

First let me pull out the general meaning for this word, it's like a usual part of my post now;

"a person who has the ownership, possession, or use of something." From dictionary.com

So if we use this meaning for the context of systems, is that the ownership, or possession, now turns to something that are more abstract such as memories, feelings, or anything else,, rather than holding actual water you know.

What classifies as one, though?

Lots of ways. Holders are very variable, they seem to align to it's own system for what must be contained, and what it is meant for, and why. Though there's a generic theme of classification which i will divide into three, and that all are still classified as holders;

Emotion Holder, Memory Holder, and Symptom Holder.

--

E Holder:

This type of holder contains a dominant or intensified level of a certain emotion. An example of this would be an anger holder, where it will be in a persistent state of anger and still can slide around the angry spectrum. It also has a possibility to feel other emotions, and/or can feel outside its dominant emotional state for a short period. E Holders may also retain related memories associated with their dominant emotion. These memories serve to reinforce the emotional experience, affecting intensity and persistence of the dominant emotion.

--

M Holder:

This type of holder is specialized in remembering an event that has happened where nobody could remember/recall collectively, it can vary from being vague to vivid. Sometimes will also carry charged emotions that goes along with the memory, which is tricky at first to check if its an E or a M holder.

The difference lies on which factor started it (is it the memory, or the feelings), M holders are more indirect so it means, X memory makes them express Y way, while E holders are more direct and overt because they express Y way and remember memory X which strengthens the intensity of Y.

This type of holder can also cause confusion in a chronological aspect, as if, it had time traveled back to when it knows being in, if cofronting/fronting. In conclusion they also hold the vibe, or the sense of time other than what had happened within the memory.

--

S Holder:

Have you noticed that some alters within the system may experience certain disorders or symptoms that primarily affect them, while rest of the collective remains minimally affected? Or have disorders that only affects itself? These holders are capable of containing disorders (like NPD, BPD) or singular/specific, like paranoia. it's to ensure that disruptive or distressing experiences are contained within specific alters rather than affecting everyone negatively. This also works with pain holders!

Uhuh.. but why many, how does that work??

Different jars different contents, you know these containers are very versatile and are used to keep tiny trinkets, liquids, and even bake dessert within it? They can even be used to store dry pasta or spices; the use is boundless.

Same goes with holders! Just like how roles can be given to a part and have responsibilities corresponding to it, everything that can be stored somatically, emotionally, or mentally are also possible.

--

Now, how do E holders work?

Let's start by understanding how we experience emotions. Emotions are triggered reactions to events or stimuli in our environment. For example, we might feel surprised when a friend throws an unexpected party in our living room, or scared when faced with something intimidating.

It's important to note that all emotions are temporary, typically lasting only for a short period, often around one minute. After experiencing an emotion, we usually return to a baseline. However, if we continue to dwell on the same event or stimulus that triggered the emotion, we can prolong its duration! This phenomenon is known as the Emotional Refractory Period.

Imagine hearing a funny joke that makes you laugh. As you continue to think about the joke, you may find yourself laughing again, even more intensely than before. This is because the emotional response becomes more easily aroused with frequency, requiring less effort to elicit the same or even stronger reactions. Even if an alter cannot recall a specific memory associated with an emotion, they may still experience and hold onto that emotion, amplifying its effects.

--

For M holders?

Someone must be associated with the certain memory, while the rest are detached/dissociated from the specific event. These holders can hold tactile, auditory, or visual information and can range from holding mundane to emotionally charged moments. This is different from suppression, since memory holders are the ones who can hold undesired/stressful memories that others couldn't, for the system to maintain functionality.

Memory holders can form from various reasons such as the inability of other alters to accept the truth of certain events, the dissociation of traumatic memories resulting in a fragment recording the event, or the necessity to split off overwhelming experiences as a coping mechanism.

--

Lastly, S holders?

Well, this is more tied to epigenetics and everything chemistry related. Though it is hard to fully convey what i mean, i will try my best;

Our states can affect whole bodily functions, just like how we know stress is proven to weaken the immune system, this is similar too! Some genes are predisposed to turn on and off depending on situation and stimulus, we have special cells equipped with sensors that are tasked to scan what is happening every second, and these collected data gets transferred for the dna and other cells responsible for tweaking functions. Fancy terms like methylation and demethylation which turns it on and off.

For disorder holders this is how it works: if this mechanism can influence the activation or suppression of certain genes added from internal factors, then it is possible to shape an individual's predisposition to various mental health conditions from biological processors such as neurotransmitter activity and hormonal fluctuations to the manifestation of different states and behaviors.

Many disorders are tied to varying levels of activity in different brain regions, so this can make sense why you are not as affected, or not at all, even if you are co-fronting! There even is a lag between parts who have the disorder, when switching with another part with a different predisposition,, because our chemical messages are constantly being fired off and it chemical works by watering down with newer, updated ones.

This statement don't apply best to other lesser symptoms or pain holders, since pain holders are related to different tolerances each parts have, while the other one works similar to an E/M holder.

Takeaway

That's all for today. What did you learn after reading? Do you guys have any theories to be proven or told? Also, the terms i had mentioned on my posts are public resources, feel free to learn about them as they also did a lot of research papers for these topics!

Let me know if we need a separate post on how to care/manage for different types of holders, and if you're a holder yourself, feel free to describe what your contents and its color would be if you were to be a jar, happy monday!

- j

[ix-c-999]

insaneroleic

A roleic term for a system member whose role, status, or experience as a system member involves being insane in some way. This could involve: -being a symptom holder for the qualities that constitute being insane -helping the system process their feelings about being insane -helping the system cope with the negative aspects of being insane However, it could involve anything. The word "insane" is reclaimed and not intended to have negative connotations unless the user wants it to.

[This post has no DNI other than not to involve it in discourse, mockery, or other harassment]

[polyfragcultureis]

blog info

- always remember to start off your ask with some variation of "polyfrag culture is..." or "C-DID culture is..." ("questioning polyfrag culture is..." "polyfrag + bpd culture is..." ect ect).

- this blog is run by one mod and isn't looking for others.

- feel free to claim a sign off, though we don't have a post listing then yet.

byf

- this blog has no set dni (other than basic dni and people who believe in narc abuse and general [pd] abuse), but i will block freely.

- feel free to ask questions about polyfragmentation, though i may not always answer. if you sent a question that never got answered it's likely i just didn't feel equipped to answer it myself.

- the system who runs this blog is collectively endo apathetic and anti-tulpa (the use of the term itself) and asks that non-CDD plurals (and singlets obviously) do not send in submissions. polyfragmentation describes a type of complex dissociation in CDD systems, therefore non-CDD plurals cannot be polyfragmented. anyone of any syscourse stance is allowed to interact as long as we're civil and respectful with eachother.

- as of now, i don't believe OSDD-1 can be polyfragmented. polyfragmentation is considered the most complex form of dissociation, while OSDD-1 is considered a less complex form of dissociation, it doesn't make sense for one to be able to be both at the same time. this isn't to say people with OSDD-1 are lesser or struggle less, it's just to say dissociation is usually conceptualized as a scale with more to less complexity. a lot of polyfragmented systems have also spoken about believing they had OSDD-1 at first as well, and we've also had this experience.

- due to the prevalence of polyfragmentation in OEA and programming survivors, there are mentions of it on this blog. everything is tagged accordingly, but please keep this in mind and stay safe if you believe those topics will be triggering in any form. we also, while acknowledging the negative history of the person who popularized the term, support people who use the term HC-DID and alternative terms (PG-DID, EC-DID, ect).

about the admin [@doomsdayradio]

- collectively go by poker, chorus, and fate

- genderqueer aroacespec mspec lesbian, they/he

- complex did system

- cluster a, b, + c

- white and ethnically jewish

- we also run @narcissisticpdcultureis and @hpdcultureis

frequent fronters

- 🧋 | they/it/mint/nova | primary host, hpd + npd symptoms holder

- 📻 | he/she | secondary host, persecutor, bpd symptoms holder

- 🌃 | he/it | co-host, soother

- 🎶 | coffin/thou/they/she | co-host, homicidal thoughts holder

[s1yeye]

make intro post yes say hi talk about who i am what i do

my name kuru or siyeye, siyeye ainu to mean be sick or be ill, kuru is ainu, reconnecting with culture and language, please be nice do not mock names or language just because not white not friendly sound funny to you.

kuru part in system, other system not talk here, but kuru is inside of, complex did / polyfragmented many alters many parts. do not let other parts on this blog, only for kuru, may only say hi if is an emergency or big worry need to adress things because kuru me i cant do it.

kuru it/its pronouns. kuru an it, thing, being, nonhuman creature weirdo crazy. no she he they no no do not use any of that. just kuru, just it, just me. kuru body transfeminine, kuru body boygirl nonbinary lesbian, but kuru not girl or boy, kuru only kuru siyeye it me thing being.

kuru have many disorders, many disabilities, kuru level 2 autistic medium support needs (mild ID), kuru have POTS and asthma and TBI and other body ailments that make life work hard not good hard to make a living hard to do things for good livings. kuru will talk about it, affect life happen very much. kuru also, more important, schizoaffective disorder symptom holder hold symptom for alters other parts not feel as bad as kuru do. kuru have schizoaffective since young age, 13 or 14, early onset, cause many many problems in life hard to deal with many many many harsh hard wow so many suffer medicate suffer evil. this will be main many post include symptoms vents rambles talk about life experiences medicate psychatric ward and others and others that happen because of this. kuru talk funny because of schizoaffective disorder. kuru talk and write weird due to positive negative symptoms mixing mixing cause words jumble mix up hard to speak thoughts racing by fleeting away from me. all words come out all at once becoming mixing jumbled and hard to understand word write or speak. kuru can not help this or fix this. other alter sometimes can write better, can help kuru siyeye do this, but abilities go downhill, catatonia apraxia alogia flat effect etc etc make worse and worse spiral go downhill eventually all gone some day maybe fear. kuru also speak weird part of trauma CPTSD DID abuse severe severe severe many happen occurence all at once. ruin kuru life, make extra extra difficult.

i kuru is an also poc indigenous east asian mixed many races mixed. if could not tell from name. do not want white people telling what to do on race related issues. has seen this happen, feel it felt it before. go away shut up.

kuru me i also a minor, bodily 16. if uncomfortable talking to speak to minors, let kuru know and will not follow.

kuru dni include endogenic (support ok, no syscourse on blog), transabled / transrace / etc (only transgender, transsexual, transspeices good), proship / comship, intersexists and transmisogynists. kuru block liberally, will use many block button, do not throw cry hissy fit if find out blocked by siyeye.

kuru may talk about triggering, bad bad hurt harmful things. can trigger tag if something heavy or obvious bad, but otherwise will not know to do unless you tell me to. if one of kuru follower, ok to ask to trigger warn tag things if they are being triggering to you. kuru ask that mutuals trigger tag heavy religion, around kuru, ESPECIALLY satanism / christianity, can triggering bad scary hurt kuru siyeye make bad visions remember horrible scary thing. thank you for if you are doing this.

edit : panphobes, acearo exclusionists, transmeds, do not follow like reblog interact!!!!! kuru is collective body mogai many genders and arospec, some parts acespec pan or others, support all harmless queer identity!!!!! go away if exclusionist bad bad person rude harmful mean leave

[space-station-collective]

Intro to Us!

Hey there! We're the Space Station Collective! If you want a name to refer to us as a collective, you can use Solar!

We're an adult-bodied, trans, introject-heavy plural system!

This account will partially be used for us to look at system-related shit on Tumblr, but we will also likely be posting about our experiences as a system!

We do our best not to engage in syscourse on this blog, but we are supportive of and a safe space for ALL system origins!

Currently, our known headcount is in the 40s. We'll likely not make posts dedicated to introing ourselves, but below are a couple people you'll probably see frequently and some basic information (we will also be signing off posts with name and pronouns!)

Host (name anonymous as it's our bodily name) - he/they and, well, the host

Wil - he/him, secondary host and manager

Tommy - he/him, symptom holder

Danny - he/it/they, symptom holder and protective alter

Angel - he/it/any, negative habits holder (actively trying to find a better label)

Things we will probably have on this page: reposts of good information and probably memes, original posts with information we want to share (and also probably memes), generally unspecified posts about things we're experiencing related to being a system, and more! (I don't know what else, I just assume the others will come up with something that I don't expect). We run off of a queue with occasional extraneous posts, so at the moment we post at 6am, 12pm, and 6pm EST! We will occasionally post things outside of that, in addition to it, but that's generally our baseline! (How often the queue posts fluctuates, usually between 2 and 3 times a day, so check here if you ever want to know the current schedule!)

Please DNI:

Basic DNI criteria (Elaborated here)

If you plan to engage in system discourse here (includes fakeclaimers)

If you think it's okay to harass, bully, or otherwise target people for things they cannot control

If you're bringing discourse up that doesn't directly relate to a post

NSFW regression blogs

Any form of bigotry

With NSFW content, if a post is directly interacting with content from this blog, make sure there's nothing NSFW contained in the post

Tags:

#[name].html - organizational tags for everyone's posts, list of all headmate tags that have been used can be found here

#stationcoll info - posts or reblogs about serious information

#stationcoll reblog - any posts that we're reblogging

#stationshitposts - memes and buffoonery, either posted or reblogged

#spacestationcollective - basic tag to be used on anything that doesn't fall under those categories!

#not system related - things that, well, aren't related to system experiences (usually physical disability stuff)

#collective favourites - not really related to anyone besides us, but an organisational tag for posts of ours that we really enjoy for one reason or another and want a small archive of

Userboxes below cut! (all made by me&)

[the-npd-culture-is]

npd + ocd + p-did (all suspected) culture is not being able to handle positive attention because you feel like you don't deserve it and not being able to handle neutral/neg attention without feeling strong need to block the person/leave the place that caused it and also not being able to tell if you have npd/ocd bc symptom holders mentally ill sisyphus

.

[system-of-a-feather]

Relating to this post and this post, but I feel there is this stigma around "being triggeered" an acting in a way that is charged by the fact you are "triggered" as though it undermines your actions, invalidates your actions, or makes you wrong because its some "mental health symptom"

But being triggered literally has no weight to it and while it provides context, does not inherently make anything right or wrong, good or bad, valid or not.

In fact, I would even make the claim that being triggered really isn't inherently even a negative thing to be in all situations. Often times? Yes. Sometimes though? Its adaptive, appropriate, and useful to handle situations.

The difference? Control, awareness, and moderation - as well as just generally how deeply triggered you are. (cause if you are having full on flashbacks and full dissociative freeze, theres little 'control' you can put to that level of triggered; for the point of this post, I am talking about emotionally triggered / passively triggered)

There is nothing inherently wrong with operating in / from a mindset informed and charged by past experiences. Can it be excessive? Yes. Can it cloud judgement? Yes. Can it get out of hand and become self destructive / harmful and add more stress and harm to oneself if left to fester? Yes. Are any of those inherently going to happen if you indulge and allow those feelings to have space to air and inform your decisions? Absolutely not.

Cause here's the thing - especially with DID - being triggered can take up a fucking huge part of your life if you have C-PTSD or a CDD - thats just the facts of the life. If you have DID, you might have parts and fragments that in the very essence of them, are going to be triggered cause theyre trauma holders, EPs, fragments, and what not. Some of them literally don't exist outside of the constant internal existence of what they've been through. If you are going to wait until you are "not triggered" to live your life, you are never going to get anywhere. If you treat being triggered as this moral failing or intellectual failing, you are going to deeply struggle to build a loving relationship with the hurt you've been through.

The ways you act when you are triggered had / have a purpose. Even if the behavior is 99.9% of the time maladaptive and unhealthy, at least ONCE in your life it was adaptive and served to tell and communicate something stupid fucking important - otherwise it would not be there.

The challenge is figuring out what that stupid fucking important thing is beyond the stress that those 99.9% maladaptive behaviors and mindsets while triggered are, but every part and every trauma response is there to tell you something you need to know.

If you are able to be okay with being triggered, know where it comes from, know what its trying to tell you, know where it intends to go and what it will want to do, and you are able to walk away from it when you realize it is no longer serving you, being "triggered" can be an aid in your recovery and life in the occasional moments when that percentage of "adaptive behavior" presents itself.

XIV 1.0 was a pure solid EP who literally only experienced sadistic high from causing problems and screwing over established structures and would ACTIVELY look for things to be annoyed at / mad about and people making silly exploitable mistakes so that he could make them regret it and so he could get a high of some ambiguous concept of "dominating" and thus crushing people. It stems from the fact that in our household it was eat or be eaten and the most aggressive manipulative and intimidating person controlled the house, including safety, security, food, and if our dad was going to rage and hurt people. Having that insane high and joy from sadistically dominating people the second they make a single exploitable mistake is something that SEVERELY saved our ass growing up when we were a preteen left to figure out how to make sure our parents didn't get us killed.

Upon fusing with Rayku years ago I really realized as FUNNY and FUN as all that shit still registered to me, as much of an addictive high it gave me, the only place that shit was going to get me was an early grave and hurting everyone else in the system so I put a few years into learning to put that skill and joy on the shelf to use if it is ever needed again.

And every so often? Someone gets power hungry and abusive in a way that is fucked up and needs to be shaken, torn down, and have the small little mistakes exploited to punish shitty people behavior, and yeah, I'll be running off of a similar mindset to my trauma environment. Yeah I'll be having almost the same feelings and disproportionate focus and adrenaline. Yeah I'll essentially be having a passive emotional ""flashback"", but at any point, anyone in the system can say "hey XIV thats enough" and I literally can take a deep breath, sigh, and put it aside and go "yeah you're right"

I can choose to allow this to fester and direct my actions and I can choose to put it away as we see it necessary.

So yeah I am probably technically "triggered", but thats honestly by intention. Its helpful and adaptive. It lets me take down shit I find disgusting. I can put it away whenever I want to, I just simply choose to not, because in this moment, being triggered is far more helpful and adaptive to my current goals in life than being placated and peaceful. Plus, because we can turn it on and off as we need, everyone else can just exist as they do while I sit and indulge this when I feel the need to and trust that others will just tell me to cool it if I ever get too deep.

Cause honestly, its also this openness to indulge "being triggered" that is like... honestly the crux of being able to fuse and unfuse at relative will. It's how Chunn and I fuse and unfuse like every few weeks. We choose to indulge our exaggerated corners of the brain when we want to be seperate and shrug it off and let them meld when we want to be together.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for systems and headmates with hypochondria!

Some systems may find that stress, trauma, neglect, or other factors in their life may lead them to develop hypochondria. Systems with hypochondria are still absolutely valid and deserving of love and support! Here’s to all the systems out there who struggle with hypochondria!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to systems who have been diagnosed with hypochondria or illness anxiety disorder!

😷 Shoutout to systems who worry about what maladies they may be suffering from as a result of trauma, abuse, or overwhelming negative experiences!

🩹 Shoutout to systems who wish their concerns would be taken seriously by their loved ones and doctors!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to systems who often misinterpret normal body functions as symptoms of illness or injury!

😷 Shoutout to systems with headmates who are hypochondria holders, or who worry about potential illness more than the rest of their system!

🩹 Shoutout to systems who are unable to work, attend school, properly care for themselves, or maintain healthy relationships due to their hypochondria!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to systems who regularly seek out care, be it from ER/urgent care staff, primary care doctors, therapists, specialists, or other healthcare professionals!

😷 Shoutout to systems who have been let down by the healthcare professionals in their lives and avoid seeking medical care as a result!

🩹 Shoutout to systems with hypochondria who are genuinely disabled, injured, or ill in some way, but worry that their condition is worse than it actually is!

❤️‍🩹 Shoutout to those who formed their system or became plural as a way to cope with their hypochondria!

😷 Shoutout to systems who are learning to live with and make the most of their lives with hypochondria!

To anyone with hypochondria, whether it doesn’t bother you much or causes you deep distress, please know that we see you, we care about you, and we believe your concerns deserve to be acknowledged taken seriously. We hope that you can find peace, happiness, and healing in your future! We’re rooting for you, we’re in your corner, and we’re wishing the very best for you in all that you do. Thank you for reading, and have a great day!

[backrooms-buddies]

Some of our experiences as a system with BPD, Autism, and ADHD

Often times, when we split in BPD terms, we also split new fragments or alters.

We have a lot of trouble differentiating between people we’re fixated on and our favorite people.

Our favorite people are the same for everyone in system.

We have alters who hold BPD symptoms, our host being the main BPD symptom holder, and those alters are much more dependent on our favorite people. They tend to be a bit dry with people who aren’t our favorite people, and while we try to make sure they don’t come across as rude, we struggle with conveying tone because we are autistic.

When we split new alters, if they’re fictives, their source is most likely to be from one of our hyperfixations or special interests. Because of this we are a bit wary about consuming new media.

We speak very impulsively, especially when splitting, and we often say things we don’t mean. However, this is not an excuse for any negative behavior.

Our littles and BPD symptom holders are the ones who struggle most with impulse control, which often leads to arguments in-system.

Our inability to focus properly worsens when we’re rapid switching and/or blurry.

We will most likely add more to this as times goes on :3c

-Anomaly