#she's wacky like that sometimes i feel

[nonaonann]

There has to be a character out there, somewhere in something, where it'd be in character for them to say, "I'm getting popcorn for this," or something similar, and then reappearing with a popcorn bucket filled with buttered popcorn flavored jelly beans

[iknowicanbutwhy]

"This is Tails. Sorry. You just- you haven't been picking up your communicator, and I meant to leave it be, and I know I said I wanted to take some time- to myself, and I haven't called for a bit, but I wanted to bother you- I DIDN'T want to bother you, I just- i know I said that I-"

*sigh*

"I'm trying to be tougher. Y'know, be okay on my own. But I've been really- thinking. Not talking... does that really have to be part of it? I've thought about it logically- because I guess it was kind of an emotional decision to go away, even if it IS also rational-"

"Tangent. Anyways... "Asking for help is a part of growing up," you said. Remember?"

"You're pretty great at holding yourself together. A-and I need to get better at that. But I still think.. that we should talk about things. We should talk about what happened.... and I know you're gonna go "I don't know what you're talking about, buddy!" and change the subject-"

[...If only I could access my data on Father's recorded history of him.]

[traitorsinsalem]

bg3 is crazy for being a massive $70 larian + wotc collab game whose accessibility menu features subtitles that are present for less than half of all idle character dialogue and almost zero battle dialogue

[raiiny-bay]

it’s honestly kinda crazy to me that kel & co were literally the first OCs i ever made

[lisbonsteresa]

i'm seconds away from losing it

[blujayonthewing]

man, still thinking about that post about unrepentantly being A Weirdo vs being stereotyped as A Weirdo, and thinking about how people tend, by and large, to like me, but sometimes it feels like being loved the way you love a fellow person and sometimes it feels like being loved the way you love a precocious toddler, or a friendly dog with a funny quirk

[specialagentartemis]

I have a different post in the works about Maddie not having children in the "Masters of All Time" timeline - it makes the emotional dilemma about whether Maddie should help Danny repair and reset the timeline straightforward and clean, but the thing is, the premise that "Masters of All Time" gives us is a FASCINATING and potentially really anguishing emotional dilemma if the writers were allowed to acknowledge it.

Maddie isn't happy in the MoAT timeline. When Danny shows up in her timeline, frantically trying to explain to her that he's her son with Jack Fenton from a different timeline, she accepts and embraces this explanation pretty quickly. It feels like she wants to believe it - she wants to believe that if things had gone differently, she would have married Jack, had children, had a ghost-hunting career she could be open and proud about. Everything Danny offers to her is something she wants more than what she has - a husband who has been lying to her, who dislikes ghost stuff and disapproves of her ghost research, so she has to do it in secret and hide it from him.

Something that goes totally unaddressed: Danny, her son from a different timeline, is a ghost. He's dead.

Never once does anyone stop to wonder what it means that her teenage son is a ghost.

And I know it's because Hartman & co. refuse to let anyone acknowledge that ghosts are dead people... but imagine they did.

Maddie Masters is... happy enough, she guesses. She married her college friend, and he is her friend, and she's not opposed to this. He doesn't support her work, but, well. She deals. She has her basement ghost research lab, even if she has to keep it secret from Vlad. She lost touch with Jack decades ago, and still regrets that, but that happens, sometimes, and his grievances aren't unfounded. She doesn't have children.

And then a ghost boy claiming to be her son shows up, and tells her that in a different timeline, the timeline that should have happened, she married Jack Fenton, she has two children, she is is out and proud about her ghost research and ghost-hunting and Jack enthusiastically collaborates with her on it. He tells her she's happy.

He doesn't tell her how he died.

And Maddie has a heartbreaking choice to make. Does she help him make this reality happen, restore time to how it's "supposed" to go?She wants to believe him, to believe in this alternate history where things went differently and she got the life she wanted! She has a wacky house full of Ghost Contraptions, a husband who loves her and supports her and collaborates with her, and two children she loves.

... and one of those children is going to die when he's 14. That comes with this choice.

Can she live with that? Consciously make this timeline happen, knowing she's going to have this child and then see him die.

It puts me in mind of one of the major emotional through-lines of "Story of Your Life" by Ted Chiang, the story of a linguist who makes contact with aliens and learns their language that allows her to see all of time at once, where it will go, what the outcomes of events will be. She sees her daughter dying. She knows from the moment she has this child that she will die in a rock-climbing accident in college. She sees it all at once, her whole life, and makes that choice to have a baby anyway.

I think MoAT!Maddie should have to consciously make a similar choice, and have similar feelings about it. Unlike the protagonist of "Story of Your Life," she doesn't know how it will all go. She only knows it as Danny tells her, and she herself won't really experience this, going forward. But she, another version of her, will. And Danny doesn't explain the halfa thing or the portal accident or anything, leaving Maddie to have to make her own hypotheses about what her alternate-life's future holds, about the grief that's going to come with the love, and make that choice to make it happen anyway.

[physalian]

What No One Tells You About Writing #4 (100 Follower Special!)

Have you got any that deserve to be on these lists? Don’t be shy! Send ‘em over.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

*This list contains mentions of assault, #4

1. Zero cursing is better than censored cursing

I made the mistake in the early days of writing a self-censoring character, and every “curse” she said just took the teeth out of the rest of the statement. I’m talking gosh, darn, dang, etc, not world-specific idioms a la “scruffy nerf herder” or “dunderhead” instead of “dumbass”.

Look to any American TV show that so, so badly wants to use f*ck or sh*t but has to appease the sensitive conservatives who still somehow believe strong language is worse than graphic violence and horrifying psychological damage. For shame! Your characters can be angry without expletives, so rework your sentences to include equally damning insults that don’t resort to potty mouths if you’re concerned about ratings.

Or go full-throttle into the idioms of the world or the time period like Pirates of the Caribbean. Or just… don’t. There’s zero modern cursing in the Lord of the Rings adaptation and not a single sentence that censors itself. The dialogue is above vulgarity and feels more *fantastical* that way anyway.

2. “Yeah, you aren’t the target audience.”

It’s kind of hilarious seeing the range of reader reactions to two characters I intend to have a romantic relationship. Some will go “I ship it!” after the first page of them together… and another will go “wait, I thought they were just friends” up until they kiss. Sometimes you might be too subtle, other times it might be better to just accept that you can’t rewrite your entire book to please one naysayer.

When I’m pitched a fantasy adventure book that turns out to be a by-the-numbers romance where no one is allowed to be a peasant and every important character is royalty in some way, with a way cooler fantasy backdrop, I get severely disappointed. That doesn’t mean the book is bad, it just means I’m not the target audience.

3. There is no greater character sin than making them boring

Unless you live in the wacky world we find ourselves in where any flaws whatsoever are apparently harmful depictions of so-and-so and not at all written with things like ~nuance~. I will gush over your heinous villain committing atrocities because he’s *interesting*. I will not remember Bland Love Interest who’s a generic everyman with zero compelling or intriguing traits or flaws.

There’s another tumblr post out there that I cannot find that says something like this, and I believe the post goes “his crimes are fiction, my annoyance is real”. Swap annoyance for boredom and you get what I mean. So, I don’t care what your character does so long as they’re memorable. I will either root for their victory or their doom, but I do need *something* to root for.

4. The line between “gratuitous” and “respectful” is actually very thick

Less what no one tells *you* about writing and more what no one tells screenwriters. Y’all do realize you can write a character who experiences assault without actually writing the assault, right? Fade to black, have them mention it in their backstory, or have the horrific aftermath as they come to terms with it. An abrupt cut to this devastated character when it’s all over and they’re alone with themselves can be incredibly poignant and powerful. This goes with anything sensitive, especially if it’s not coming from experience.

If you want to write it or film it respectfully, romanticizing assault, for instance, is when it’s framed as if either character has earned or “deserves” it. If the narrative in any way argues that it's justified. The victim might have "earned" it for any of the BS reasons we use in the real world, or the perpetrator might've "earned" it because of temptation, desire, pressure to assert dominance, etc. Representation is important, but are you “representing” to shed light on a misunderstood and maligned topic, or are you doing it to satisfy a fetish or bias in yourself?

5. Don’t let your eyes get bigger than your stomach

Fantasy has no limitations, which means you can dig way deeper into the well of your worldbuilding than you realize, until you look up and realize you’re stuck down there. I have never seen a more obvious inevitable disaster looming than the pilot of GoT season 5. Why? Nobody has any plans. They’re all just led around by whatever side quest the writers throw them on, twiddling their thumbs until the writers deign to pull the trigger on the White Walkers.

To the point that what should be a major character can skip an entire season because his arc is meaningless. Everything in the last half of that show was one big “eventually” while the story toiled around in an ever-expanding cast of characters and set pieces (seriously, it’s hilarious how jarring the extended version of the theme music became compared to the pilot episode to fit all these locations).

When you have too many directionless characters, too many plot elements, too many ideas you want to fully mature and get their due spotlight and then somehow combine them all together for a common foe in the end, writing can get tedious and frustrating very quickly. Why, I imagine, the book series remains unfinished. Fantasy is great for being able to create such complex worlds, but don’t be the snake that eats its own tail trying too hard.

6. No one cares about your agenda if you insult them to push it

This deserves its own post but here we go. Peddling an agenda is a paradox: those who agree with you won’t need to be preached to, and those who you want to persuade will instead reject you further because they feel belittle and disrespected. This is why so many recent “strong female characters” fail on both sides of the aisle. Feminists see an annoying caricature of the movement they’re passionate about. Antifeminists see an insufferable, shallow, liberal mouthpiece when they just want to be entertained. You have failed both sides, congrats.

The answer? Write a strong, nuanced, well-developed character. Then make them a woman. I know this has been said before but this BS keeps happening so clearly the screenwriters aren’t listening. Entertain me first. Entertain me so well I don’t even realize I’m learning.

7. Today’s audiences won’t react the same way as tomorrow’s

Sometimes genres or tropes get oversaturated and need a few years to cool off before audiences are receptive to them again—teen dystopia, anyone?—that doesn’t mean your story is inherently bad because it’s unpopular (nor does it mean it’s amazing because it is popular).

You should always write the book you want to read, not the book that chases trends. I can pick up a well-written teen dystopia I’ve never read before and enjoy it. I can continue to ignore Divergent because it has nothing to say. Write the book you want to read, but then accept that you might make no money because no one else wants to read it, not because they think it’s bad. And, who knows? You might get a boom of chatter months or years down the line when readers stumble upon an uncut gem.

8. Your characters don’t age with you

Depending on how long you’ve been working on your world and what age you were when you started, the characters, concepts, morals, and story you set out to tell might no longer reflect who you want to be as an author when all is said and done. Writing can take years, some of which can be incredibly turbulent and life changing. I wrote the first draft of my first original novel in my freshman year of college. Those characters and that draft are now unrecognizable and has left a world I’ve poured my heart and soul into in limbo.

I’ve slowly creeped up my characters’ ages. My writing has matured dramatically. The themes I wanted to explore in the height of the 2016 election are just demoralizing now. That book was my therapeutic outlet and, as consequence, my characters sometimes reflect some awful moods and mindsets that I was in when writing them. But nothing in that world grows without me tending to it. It’s not alive. Despite all the work I’ve done, there’s still more to be done, maybe even restarting the plot from the ground up. When I think of what no one told me about writing, staring at characters designed by someone I’m not anymore is the hardest reality to accept.

—

If you think I missed something, check out parts 1-3 or toss your own hat into the ring. Give me romance tropes. Mystery, thriller, historical fiction, bildungsromans, memoires, children’s books, whatever you want! Give me stuff you wish you’d known before editing, publishing, marketing, and more. 

Also, don’t forget to vote in the dialogue poll!

[jesncin]

I really hope this doesn’t come across as rude, but why did you decide to make Lex Luthor, whose motivation is basically racism and xenophobia from my understanding, a person of color? This isn’t like, a criticism, more just, I really like your JL remix stuff and you usually have cool reasons for the stuff you change, so I was surprised by this one

I understand the curiosity! But I have to point out that "you usually have cool reasons for the stuff you change, so I was surprised by this one" made me laugh, haha. Long answer coming because I have a lot of feelings- but the point in the very end is worth it, trust me.

So for one, Lex is Afro-Greek in my version. This comes from the popular headcanon that STAS/DCAU Lex is Black (and his design is based on a Greek man). His character design, skin tone, and Clancy Brown's enigmatic performance became unintentional perceived representation for Black fans (and even DC writers). And now in the Harley Quinn show, that's become canonized! For why they like it, that's not my place to say as a non-Black person- so I listen!

I don't agree that Lex's motivation is "basically racism and xenophobia"- his themes are much broader than that. It's the desire to be the Man of Tomorrow, his jealousy of Superman, the way his intellect alone is a match against Superman's strength. Sometimes that jealousy is expressed through bigotry, but it's all a means to an end for Lex. My approach is: if Lex being Black is something we want to integrate more into his character, what opportunities does that open up narratively? Because there's rich potential for him and the characters connected to him.

When discussing MAWS I talk a lot about how when you're writing a bigoted marginalized character, there needs to be specifity with where that internalized bigotry is coming from. So a change like that for Lex Luthor could, for example; discuss how privileges like wealth can assimilate otherwise marginalized people into the kind of power that harms others in their community.

The ripple affect this has on a character like Superboy/Conner is that we get to see how -even though they're both Luthors- Conner is profiled, othered and further marginalized as a Kryptonian and a Black homeless teen because he doesn't get to benefit from any of Lex's privileges. This is just part of the many reasons why I think Conner would be infinitely more interesting if he didn't look like Kal El despite being a clone. You get to see a new intersection of how the Kryptonian identity intersects with Blackness on Earth. The potential ripple effect for a character like Lena is also really fun! What if she's struggling with her own model minority pressure when she's making up for her brother's crimes? It's all very compelling!

And MOST importantly, in a 3 trillion IQ Lex Luthor-style move-making Lex Luthor Black means that some version of Matt Fraction & Steve Lieber's Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen arc exists in my au. Which famously hinges on the twist that LEX LUTHOR AND JIMMY OLSEN ARE DISTANTLY RELATED. THEREFORE!!! We have now found a convoluted way to have Wacky Renaissance Artist Jimmy Olsen connected to The Manifestation Of Black Excellence Evil Edition Lex Luthor in this au.

[naffeclipse]

I don't know when I'll ever write this, but I've had this AU in the back of my mind ever since Bendy and the Dark Revival came out, and it's best to get it out of my head before it festers and rots.

More or less, it's BatDR and the DCA smashed into one. The premise is that you are an animator at Fazbear Studios and Sun and Moon are humans who go by Cyrus and Mani respectively, employed as voice actors. (First AU with human Sun and Moon whoo! don't get attached though) Vanessa is a janitor who is a bit odd, mostly keeping to herself though sometimes you feel like she's starting at your back when you're alone.

Cyrus and Mani perform as extras in the Fazbear cartoon, adding supporting voices for side characters and miscellaneous lines. Cyrus often supplies humorous, wacky, and surreal voices to his performances. Mani tends to get villainous or spooky characters with his deeper, raspier voice. They both enjoy what they do and love that they can work together as brothers.

You can't help but notice Cyrus and Mani. You admire their skill, their passion, and their smiles, and you sometimes even work up the courage to wave at Cyrus or Mani whenever one of the brothers happens to pass by your work desk.

They inspire you—not just with their work, but with their small acts of care. You find coffee on your desk when you return from a meeting with the other animators with a little smiling sun doodled on the cup. Sometimes, Cyrus asks you to join him on a walk since it's your lunch break and you could really use some sunshine and a chance to stretch your legs. When it gets far too late and you're burning the midnight oil, Mani is somehow always there, doing a funny voice to surprise you with a little reminder that it's past your bedtime. He leaves you little treats in blue wrappers, hidden in places on your desk, among your ink and papers.

It's not a surprise that you start drawing a character for them in your rare off hours when you still have the energy to hold a pencil. The Fazbear cartoon could add a new, permanent character. A robotic jester, lanky and tall, but with two forms for the day and night, funny and sweet and mischievous. Cyrus and Mani could both voice him!

That's silly, however. Fazbear Studios does not want your chaotic and half-brained scribbles nor do you dare show the brothers what they inspired—they might hate it. You keep your little jester character tucked away, along with a small doodle of a minor, nobody, gray character who may or may not be a tag along to the main act that is the jester. Your sketches and concept art are hidden away, far from where the light of day or the shine of night will ever see.

It goes missing one day. You're upset and asking everyone who went through your desk. No one confesses. Cyrus tells you that it'll be okay, he'll help you find it. Mani suggests that you keep locks on your drawers from now on.

It's never found, not that you wanted either of them to stumble upon it. Yet, they stay late with you after everyone has gone home, looking for your precious and secretive sketchbook through the many departments of the studio.

Somewhere along the way, Cyrus disappears, promising to return with your sketchbook. You lose Mani in the audio department before, oh, there's Vanessa. She tells you to come to the basement with her—she found your notebook. You're relieved but a little put off by Vanessa and reluctantly follow her down into the dark.

You don't find your sketchbook, but you do find Cyrus slumped against the wall, blood trickling down his temple, and a strange collection of shrines to one of the studio's cartoon characters.

Before you can rush to his side, pain explodes in your skull, cracking white across your vision. You fall to the ground, dazed, as Vanessa gives a cryptic promise to return with the last sacrifice. You manage to crawl across the floor in your pitiful state to reach Cyrus and attempt to revive him, but by then, Mani is walking in. His shock overtakes him but he dodges a swipe of Vanessa's wrench and starts struggling against her. You try desperately to drag Cyrus somewhere safe as he murmurs for you to get out of here, but in the middle of Vanessa's and Mani's fight, she flips a switch and ink begins filling the room.

The black flood sweeps Cyrus away from you. Pages spill out from the inside of Vanessa's vest, dozens of sketches of your jester character. You cry out. Mani looks to you. Vanessa at last shoves Mani into the surge of onyx liquid beside Cyrus, and you watch both of them go under together. You scream their names. She turns to you, grinning.

The last thing you remember is Vanessa shoving your head into the ink.

Then it's the only thing you remember. You're vaguely aware that your jet-black hands are strange and shiny, and that you don't know where you are in this sepia-colored studio, but you know something's not right. You're missing someone, and someone else. You're scared.

You wander around for a bit until you're attacked by monsters emerging from the ink, shrieking and wailing in gluey dark forms until a wonderful and terrifying automaton arrives. He destroys such a creature about to tear you apart. He stands so tall, detailed with sharp teeth and even sharper sun rays around his large, flat face, but you think you recognize those yellow eyes—a living cartoon.

He helps you calm down and asks for your name in a loud and funny voice that rings like a bell in your mind but you can't name the tune. You don't remember your name. He doesn't remember his either. He leads you away from the harsher spaces of the studio, somewhere 'safer'. You don't know if there is anything as safe, but you feel better with him.

You're startled when after a time, in the middle of talking to this sunshine character, he melts and morphs and bubbles until a crescent moon face emerges and a new grin. You panic before a darker, raspier voice, like a cartoon villain, tells you it's alright. He's here, too. He's not sure what's going on but he, and the other 'him', and you are gonna make it out of here, somehow.

You don't have hope anywhere else but in this unique robot jester, and he seems to want you to stay close to him. So it's you two, the last sane partnership in the crazed and dripping studios, fighting off ink creatures and surviving other bizarre characters. You learn how to wield a gent pipe and the jester is strong on his own, often able to tear things apart or toss monsters off of you before they can do worse. He has claws and teeth and he uses them well.

Vanny is a lady rabbit and a constant threat. She's smart and cunning, unlike the other mostly senseless attackers. She keeps tracking the two of you down and spouting off the religious rhetoric of Inktrap, promising that your sacrifices will be well worth the pain. You had to be introduced to the cycle. The ink has corrupted you perfectly. You are part of this place. You are never leaving and will give in to Inktrap.

You and he avoid Inktrap at all costs. You've only caught glimpses of the shadowy, pitch-black beast, but that's all you need to see as you both hide and hold your breaths until the danger just barely passes by.

You start to call the daytime jester Sun, and he seems to respond to it. The nighttime joker is Moon, and he neither hates nor loves it, but he answers when you call. He has a name for you, too, or rather names. Peach, bird, thrill, calico, and sweetheart. He gets creative and goofy. You think he's being mean sometimes but he tells you he's not, he means it, and you don't know how to take that before you two have to focus on escaping this part of the studio and getting into safer areas. You protect his back and he protects yours, and together, you make this living, unending nightmare bearable. Sharing bacon soup, falling asleep in Moon's lap, and patching up any drips in Sun's inky form becomes something like a life.

It just never stops, repeating over and over. The jester deserves better than this, whatever happened to him. You know you both do.

You become determined to learn how the cycle works and how to prevent it from going on. There's a funny feeling you have that, somehow, you're going to have to go through Vanny and the Inkdemon. One day, you will get the jester and yourself free.

You need to see his and your happy ending.

[ichayalovesyou]

Why Do Old-School TV Duos Have SUCH MLM Vibes?!

I think there’s something very specific about the formula and writing style of non-serialized/semi-serialized shows from the 60s to 80s that featured two grown men going on wacky dangerous adventures that makes my gay little literary analysis brain go absolutely off the wall bonkers. I’m trying to figure out why!

I’m writing this on my Trek blog because I don’t think this pattern in people actually shipping these types of relationships the way they do if fandom as we know it wasn’t born via TOS in syndication. That being said! I also think it has to do with the way these shows are designed that makes myself and others OBSESSED with a specific character dynamic that feels (to me) damn near impossible to replicate in modern television. In a way that’s more than just fandom, it’s in the way TV like this was written at the time!

Further explanation under the cut!

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

I think what it usually boils down to is this. There’s a charming protagonist whom without the series could not operate, frequently top billed or the title character! (See: Wild Wild West, Starsky & Hutch) BUT he doesn’t have anyone to play off of! So what do they do pretty much every single time? Give Mr. Idealized Vision of Time-Period Masculinity For Genre a second guy to rhyme with!

See but the other guy has to play opposite but parallel to our hypermasculine protagonist. So what frequently ends up happening is that in order to play off our “normal” guy, even though he’s also a white dude, is that he’s still somehow Other.

They’re always perfect for each other, and they always get into scenarios that would be written, shot and interpreted by conventional audiences as romantic IF either one of those characters were a woman! Especially at the time these shows were made in.

If the one is aggressive, the other is gentle. If the protagonist is violent, his counterpart is intellectual. If the one is stoic, the other is emotional. Which (while one size def doesn’t fit all) usually makes the second guy come off as much more queer-coded (and sometimes other minorities like neurodivergent/disabled etc) than the other because of the traits associated with masculinity vs gayness at the time! Our prime examples in these gifs are Spock, Hutch, Artemus, and also *BJ!

*(M*A*S*H is a bit of a unique case since the show flirts with queerness more openly in ways that people more into the series have explained better than me but I think it still fits the formula I’m discussing.)

Here’s the thing though right? We’ve got two best friends, and the show NEVER really feels right if one of them is missing unless the focus of the story is how A & B operate without each other while trying to find the other one. They stick with and rescue each other unfailingly in scenarios that might destroy a regular friendship.

Hell, there’s often stuff that would emotionally/physically destroy a regular person/character in modern media. But because it’s not serialized they always seem to pull through seemingly through the power of friendship alone or dealing with it off-screen! Emotional consequences? Yuck! (Unless it’s M*A*S*H or Starsky & Hutch, like I said, not monolithic)

Here’s the thing that some people might say throws a wrench into the interpretation I’m discussing. What about the absolutely non-stop parade of conventionally attractive women the main protagonist (and less frequently the supporting man) goes through?

I would reply: how many of those female characters actually emotionally impact our protagonists as characters long term?

The answer is of course, because it’s NOT serialized, almost none! Kirk can watch Edith Keeler get killed by a car accident and still be making eyes at Spock the next episode. Hawkeye can have a “life changing” romance with a Vietnamese humanitarian woman, then share a blanket with BJ next episode like she never existed!

The Doylist explanation of course is not just the fact it wasn’t serialized but also just, constant, blatant 20th century sexism. Which SUCKS!!! As well as not wanting a long term love interest to throw off the character dynamic of our duderagonists. It’s the 20th century tv equivalent of bros before hoes.

However the Watsonian explanation always seems to result in no love interest EVER being more important than what the two protagonists have no matter whether you think they’re queer or not. No attractive woman could make our reputed babe-hound protagonist abandon his buddy. There’s no earnest romance our more queer-coded supporting man doesn’t end (or get ended for him) often for the protagonist’s sake.

Now some of these women are incredibly well written and straight up GOOD matches for our guys. So why wouldn’t they get involved in something long term UNLESS!! They were in love with each other the WHOLE time?

What if protagonist (frequently the babe hound) doesnt know he’s queer, or knows but doesn’t know he’s in love with his bestie, or any number of similar fruity explanations? The supporting man also runs into this explanation but people tend to believe he’s already aware that he’s queer but either also doesn’t know he’s in love or is keeping it to himself because time-period homophobia and/or thinking (probably not unreasonably) that babe hound is straight?

Between the inherent closeness of being narrative foils. The regularly scheduled life or death drama creating sometimes insanely romantic (in the narrative if not a literal sense) drama between the two. The revolving door of weekly women they never seem to get attached to enough to leave one another. The non-serialized nature resulting in sparse personal information/history about the protagonists as a result.

I think between the very NATURE of the way tv shows were written at the time. Plus the way fandom was shaped by a dynamic that has rippled through how media works and is interpreted by fans for decades upon decades. It’s not hard to imagine getting really emotionally invested in the possibility of the protagonists being in love is a fantastic way to enjoy the media!

In conclusion, it’s really fun and easy to go “these bitches gay! Good for them good for them!”

[cyberwulf]

Jamie is a Shameless Flirt, pt 2

prev

James took a deep breath and let it out slow, then lifted the videophone receiver and slowly punched in Professor Oak’s number.

He didn’t have to wait long.

“James!” The professor greeted him with a smile. “I was hoping you might call.”

“…Professor Oak.”

“I told you, call me Sam, please,” the older man chuckled. Behind him, Meowth leaped gracefully up on the laboratory bench and glowered in James’ direction.

“…Professor,” James replied. He launched into the speech he’d rehearsed after Meowth outlined all the reasons dating the man was a bad idea that guaranteed a bunch of wacky shenanigans everyone could do without. “Listen – I was a teeny bit sloshed, and I was in drag, and Jamie’s just a character I like to have fun with, so –”

“…Oh.” He winced at Professor Oak’s disappointed look. “Well, that’s too bad. I was hoping to get to know you better over dinner…”

James forced a laugh. “Well, there’s only one place in town, and I work there…”

“I was thinking more along the lines of Viridian City,” Professor Oak continued. James straightened at that. Dinner someplace fancy? Behind the professor, Meowth frowned and shook his head furiously at him. “But since you aren’t interested…”

---

“Are you out of your mind?”

Jessie pulled a face at him across the kitchen table. “Professor Twerp? Isn’t he a grandpa?”

“Sam is a gentleman who sees a lady home safely,” James retorted haughtily, taking a sip of coffee. He arched his eyebrow and gave her a sidelong glance. “Unlike certain rude little boys who unceremoniously eject their guests because they can’t control themselves.”

Jessie turned bright red. “You were the one who made her all sexy!” she hissed. She crossed her arms and scowled. “I can’t believe you’re going through with this. You can’t possibly like him.”

“I don’t have to like him,” James shot back. “He’s taking me to dinner, Jess. I’m going somewhere nice to eat a meal I didn’t cook.” He nodded at her girlfriend, currently folding laundry on the countertop. “Delia knows what I mean.”

“Yeah, where’s he taking you, the Early Bird Special?” Jessie asked sarcastically. “I will bet you ten – no, I’ll bet you twenty Pokébucks you’re home by eight with a cup of hot cocoa.”

“I’ll happily take twenty dollars of your student loan money,” James laughed. “Have it ready next Saturday morning.”

“Jessie? Sweetie?”

Both former Team Rocket members looked up. Delia hadn’t turned around, and when she next spoke, her voice was strangely flat.

“Could you take these clean clothes upstairs for me? I’d like to speak to James alone.”

Jessie and James exchanged glances before Jessie rose and took the basket of laundry out of the room. Once she was gone, Delia turned, leaning back against the counter as she crossed her arms.

“I don’t care what Jamie did after a few glasses of wine,” she said quietly. “And we did kick you out so that we could…” She nodded at the ceiling. “…you know. But if this is just a big joke to you, don’t do it. Samuel Oak is a dear friend of mine, and he’s very important to Ash.” She shook her head at him slightly, her expression putting ice in his veins. “Don’t play with his heart.”

“Delia – I –” James swallowed and had another sip of coffee – his mouth had gone dry all of a sudden. “Look, all that with Jessie…” He wilted under her steely gaze. “Look, I was going to tell him I wasn’t interested, but he wants to take me out. No one ever wants to take me out.” He gazed into his mug. “I know the three of us have wine nights, and now and then we all go dancing, but sometimes I feel…”

He risked looking at her. Delia’s expression had softened slightly, and she was nodding.

“I understand,” she answered. “But – I mean it, James. I’d never look at you the same way if you were cruel to him.”

“I won’t, I promise!” James insisted. “He was nice to me. I’m not mean to people who are nice to me.” Getting up, he crossed the room and placed his arms gently on her shoulders. “And you know that I’d never want to do anything to jeopardise our friendship, Delia.”

Delia let out a sigh. Finally, she smiled up at him. “Okay. I trust you.”

James nodded. “You’ll see. By this time next week, I’ll have had a free – but boring – dinner, Jessie’ll have an extra twenty Pokédollars, Professor Oak will be thoroughly disillusioned, and everything will be back to normal.”

---

Meowth scowled as his human housemate tried on various combinations of shirts and pants, fretting over which ones looked best. “Thought you was only doing this for the free dinner?”

James cast him a sour look. “Excuse me for wanting to look nice in front of your boss.” He settled on a pair of chinos and a white shirt.

“Yeah, he is my boss,” Meowth growled, “and I gotta look him in the eye Monday morning, so no funny business.” James rolled his eyes and applied some cologne. Meowth sneezed as it wafted his way. The doorbell rang and James flinched.

“Get that, will you?” he said, a note of panic in his voice. “I haven’t even decided what shoes to wear!”

Grumbling under his breath, Meowth trudged to the front door, jumped up on the end table, and tugged on the handle.

“Hey there, Prof,” he mumbled, moving to let the older man in. He gestured through to the den. “Have a seat. His Majesty’ll be right out.”

“Thank you, Meowth.” The professor settled himself on the couch, laying the bouquet of flowers he’d brought carefully on the coffee table. He plucked a comb from the pocket of his sport coat and ran it through his hair. Meowth slunk into the den and eyed him suspiciously from behind the armchair. He didn’t like the flowers or the sport coat or the black shirt which looked kinda tight on the prof but in a flattering way. And here he’d done everything he could to try and stop any shenanigans from shenaniganing.

His ears twitched at the sound of a door opening and closing down the hall.

“Yoo-hoo.”

Professor Oak stood up, taking the bouquet with him. James stepped into the den, leather jacket slung over one shoulder.

“Well!” The professor looked up at him. “You certainly look handsome.” He looked down at the flowers. “I, er, I wasn’t sure who I’d be taking to dinner…but I suppose these are for you.”

“Ooh.” James giggled and Meowth frowned. “Oh, these are expensive.” He blushed. “Sam, you shouldn’t have.” He turned to the surly Scratch-Cat. “Meowth, be a dear and put these in some water, will you?”

With a growl, Meowth snatched the flowers out of James’ grasp.

“Shall we?” Professor Oak asked, offering James his arm.

“Let’s,” James answered. He petted Meowth roughly on the head. “Don’t wait up now!”

Meowth followed them to the entrance, frowning again as the professor opened James’ door for him. “I ain’t never gonna sleep tonight.”

---

“Thanks for coming, honey.” Delia glanced up anxiously at the clock again. It was almost time to open up, and there was still no sign of James.

“Oh I’m not missing this,” Jessie replied with a smirk. “I want my twenty bucks.”

“If James doesn’t show up soon, I’m going to need you to be a server,” Delia warned. “I’ll have to do all the cooking.”

“I dunno what to tell ya, Delia,” Meowth remarked from the counter. He had another mouthful of milk. “He was at home this morning and he left before I did.”

The back door flew open.

“Sorry I’m late!” James called. He snatched his apron from its peg and put it on. “Let me just get ready –”

As he made for the kitchen, Jessie leaned over and hooked him by the collar. “Hold it right there, mister. We all want to know how your date went.”

A dreamy look came over James’ face.

“Oh it was a magical evening,” he drawled, resting his chin in his hand. “He took me to this swanky Kalosian restaurant, and then we went for a walk in the park. And then we drove down to Route 21, and the moonlight was shining on the water…”

“Aww…”

Delia glanced at Jessie. She was mirroring her former team-mate’s posture, a goofy smile on her face. Note to self – take Jessie to Route 21 after sunset. Dressed as guy(?)

James pushed himself off the counter and began to saunter back and forth. “And we just talked and talked and talked…”

“Yeah, what about?” Meowth asked sourly.

“Poetry,” James retorted good-naturedly. “And Grass-types. And overly affectionate Pokémon. And Ash.” He scratched the cat behind his ears. “And you.” He crossed his arms and shot Jessie a smug look. “And you owe me twenty Pokédollars, because I didn’t get home till after midnight. No hot cocoa involved.”

Jessie looked to Meowth for confirmation. The cat shrugged.

“I hate to say it, but he’s right,” he declared. “Pay the man, Jess.”

“You know, I’m not even mad,” Jessie chuckled, reaching for her purse. A teasing note entered her voice as she handed over the cash. “You’re sweet on a grandpa.”

James giggled. “You know, I think I am,” he admitted. “Did I tell you he brought me flowers?”

“Midnight’s not so late,” Delia remarked. She arched an eyebrow at James, her smile belying her serious boss act. “So why are you, Mr. Sasaki? Explain yourself.”

“Oh, I had to drop Sam’s jeep back to the corral,” James replied. “I wound up driving him home.” He looked away coyly. “He wasn’t really in any shape to.”

“Really?” Delia asked in surprise. “That’s not like him.” She chuckled. “I suppose it has been a while since he had a night out, he probably doesn’t know his limits anymore.”

Delia – as most people would, in her position – assumed that the blank look which appeared on James’ face was just one of his many himbo moments. Jessie and Meowth, on the other hand, understood loud and clear, with the latter just managing not to spit milk across the restaurant.

“Oh – yes,” James laughed nervously. “We brought a bottle of wine with us to Route 21 and he had a few too many. That, that is definitely what happened.” He looked past her at the clock. “Is that the time, I’d better get in that kitchen!”

Delia turned to look, jumped a little at the time, and quickly headed to the front door to open up. Behind her, Jessie and Meowth exchanged a wordless glance.

So much for looking the prof in the eye come Monday morning.

We are never telling her.

@yamujiburo

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

saw some western aus and wanted to throw my proverbial hat in the ring. well. toss it gently. place it down on the edge-

actually no fuck that, slamming down the hat i have Thoughts:

first off, if anything this au should be the silliest looney toons bullshit.

~ of all the revolvers are unloaded. so gunfights are just people saying "bang" at each other and then throwing the nearest thing at their opponent in place of a bullet

~ Wally is the town sheriff, and he's hilariously incompetent. he also has a habit of shoplifting apples from Howdy's saloon / general store fusion. his cowboy hat has a card with an apple on it tucked in the band, but he doesn't wear it, so at nearly all times one of his hands is occupied with holding the hat. also he doesn't wear his badge ever

~ Barnaby is the town deputy, and he's marginally more competent than Wally. however, he doesn't take his job seriously and is usually napping in his chair on the sheriff office porch. sometimes he wears Wally's badge along with his own for funsies

~ also when Howdy catches Wally stealing, he'll call Barnaby over. Barnaby will proceed to arrest and lock up Wally in his own jail until Barnaby feels too bad for leaving him in there and lets him out

~ there is only one horse in town, and its Eddie's so that he can do his delivery runs and get mail from the town over - he has a lil wagon too. Sally has a running gag where she tries to steal the horse, but it completely ignores her and won't budge an inch.

~ on that note, Wally has one of those stick horses. when he needs to chase someone down, he hops on it and Barnaby lifts him by the scruff and runs, gently shaking him up and down to simulate natural horse riding movements. somehow it always works. no one can escape this tactical move

~ the only role i can see for Sally is overly-theatrical outlaw, just as incompetent as Wally. she never succeeds in stealing anything but also never gets caught because, again, Wally is terrible at his job. everyone usually comes outside to watch their wacky "fights" and do nothing about it, including Barnaby. also Julie helps her sometimes

~ Julie i think would be the town banker. she's unusually strict about it and can get kind of scary about technicalities. however the town doesn't really use currency, so they have a point system that they keep careful track of. it would be stickers, but those dont exist. actually fuck that these are puppets, stickers exist and the board is like the gold stars in that one spongebob episode

~ Frank is an entomologist that decided to brave the untamed west to see what new bugs he might discover. what he discovered was dust, scorpions, and an inability to leave the town due to no monies anywhere. he finds entertainment in keeping track of the local ant colonies' wars & affairs, and also complaining at Howdy at the bar

~ everyone complains to Howdy. he has someone at his bar at any given time and he's taken to being incredibly passive aggressive about it. they still have to pay with jokes or favors or whatever they can think of that he'll accept

~ Poppy runs the hotel, where pretty much everyone lives. Julie lives there, Frank lives there, Sally lives there, Wally lives there. Barnaby prefers to sleep in the sheriffs office, as he doesn't want to make the "across the street" commute. Howdy also stays in his saloon/store, and Eddie sleeps in his post office - as canon intended.

~ Home is the mayor. don't ask me if he's a person, an object head, or just a building - i do not know. he's probably still a building. no one can understand what he says

~ oh also Frank is incredibly pressed over the fact that the town's lawfolk suck at their job. he swears he has an aneurysm every time Wally chases Sally down the street on a stick horse, or when blatant crime is happening right in front of a very asleep Barnaby. he is tempted to take over as sheriff, but alas, there are scorpions to be stung by

~ and finally: apple chaps. thats all thanks good day

[thesoftboiledegg]

Nothing could have prepared me for the plot of "Wet Kuat Amortican Summer." The title reveal made it look like a mindblowers episode. The cold open looked like the setup for standard Summer and Morty shenanigans. Turns out, we were in for a "Taken"/"Total Recall" mashup parody--and since I've never seen "Total Recall," I had to pause the episode to learn what a Kuato is.

I guess this "Unmortricken" scene wasn't just a gag; it was foreshadowing.

It never fails: when Beth, Space Beth or Summer enter the room, the word "no" leaves Rick's vocabulary. He might sigh, roll his eyes, demand favors or pretend that he has better things to do, but outright refuse? Whether Summer's demanding gadgets or Beth's probing him with tongs, Rick always gives in.

He bickers with Summer, but he also approves her choice of gadget, trusts her with important tasks and eggs her on when she teases Morty. He trusts her instincts in the fight between Morty and the Kuato on the boat and believes her when she relays Morty's thoughts.

Like grandfather, like granddaughter: Rick beats up a bunch of guys for information only to run into Summer doing the same thing on Morty's behalf. He never has to worry about her.

They have a blast working together, too. Rick banters with her, shows off his tools, announces that he wants to kick down a door (bad idea) and flat-out says "I treat you like an equal because I respect you." We knew that, but it's rewarding to see Rick say it outright. He's starting to realize that it's OK to tell people that he cares.

Likewise, Rick's trauma is changing. He's showing "normal" signs of depression, i.e. drinking until he falls asleep on the couch. That's still unhealthy, but since past meltdowns involves murderous sci-fi rampages, maybe he's remembering what it's like to feel human.

I was a little disappointed that the story sidelined Morty again. Still, he took charge when he had the chance, even as a weird mutant larva. The series tends to forget that Morty and Summer are teenagers, so I've enjoyed revisiting their high school and seeing characters that had disappeared a few seasons ago.

Summer's a delight to watch because she's unstoppable. She jumps into wacky situations and rolls with whatever life throws at her. Rick doesn't just respect her--I think that he wants to be like her.

She's tough, curious and resourceful, always up for an adventure and trying new technological enhancements. But unlike Rick, she doesn't let self-pity consume her. Sometimes, she cries, breaks down and throws a fit, but she always gets up and moves on.

I mean, could you imagine Summer drinking until she falls asleep on the couch for years, not just for a couple of days after a break-up? Or ranting that she hates herself? Summer's not a victim. She's a survivor.

Rick could learn from that. In fact, maybe he should sit her down and ask her how she does it. Summer never misses a chance to flaunt her traits--and she doesn't even need that attribute slider. Anyone who can't see what makes Summer great is missing out!

[thrashkink-coven]

OKAY

I think we need to discuss something that I’ve literally never heard any other practitioners talk about but I think it’ll immediately clear up A LOT of confusion! This is obviously my own upg so take it with as much validity as you please.

When doing any kind of work with any kind of deity, you really need to understand the concepts of archetypes and syncretism.

Religion, faith, and mythology, it’s all a big mess. Our clumsy archaic human language and our tendency to destroy and distort information means that the ancient world is really, to our modern understanding, A LOT (and I mean a LOT) of hypothesizing.

We often use the same words to describe different concepts, mix up names, combine names, and misunderstand each other. Such is the nature of humanity.

Theology is always fluid. Different entities have different cultural associations, some major entities or characters are even shared among multiple groups of people. Syncretism means that groups of people develop their ideas with the influence of other groups of people, though shifted to make sense for their personal experience.

My favourite thing in the world is when different religions share stories- viewing history from totally different perspectives- Retelling the same events through the scope of their theology.

This is why we have archetypes. There are many goddesses of love and sex that are associated with the planet that is commonly known as Venus. Why these archetypes emerge in the way they do? That’s up for you to debate with yourself.

The question of whether Aphrodite is Astarte or Ishtar or Lucifer or Helel or Eosphoros or Hesperus is not a question that can be answered entirely objectively. It can never be proven and it can never be disproven. Because sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes the answer is definitely no, and sometimes it’s really hard to tell.

The way that we all experience the energy that is “Venus” is going to be different. If she definitely feels like the same energy as Astarte to you, then that could be the case. There’s no objective authority on reality or faith. There is no reason why the findings of 1000 year old magis are more legitimate than yours. Study, learn, experiment.

I like to imagine it similar to colors. We all agree that wavelengths between 620 to 750 nm are red. We have silly little cones in our eyes that work with our brains to turn information into color. But we all understand that there are thousands of shades of red, and some people can’t even see red. Do you see where I’m going? I hope this makes sense.

Because of the way that we interact with reality, there are as many Aphrodite as there are people who believed in Aphrodite- and this is true for every God (at least in my silly little opinion).

There are as many variations in her energy as there are variations of people who follow her.

I try to scope this around what Jophiel told me once. YHWH created him, sometimes. But not at the moment when I was talking to him. When I asked him if Lucifer was the Satan of Christianity he said “sometimes” as well. It depends. It all depends. That’s the beauty of this weird wacky thing that we do.

Anyways,

I don’t know how else to write this but to say some people aren’t compatible with every archetype lol. This is totally okay though, it’s not anyone’s fault! It’s just like … spiritual chemistry. Alchemy? Stay with me!

Nature has laws. If you try to push against these laws you will experience difficulty and suffering. ☹️

Nature creates certain compounds. Stable compounds thrive 🙂 and unstable compounds explode ☹️. Interactions create products and outputs. When two or more elements that are not compatible are introduced they may have a volatile reaction.

I will not claim to know how divinities operate. This is all just my silly billy pondering. But I do know for fact, that at least in my experience, certain entities that share the same address interact with different people in different ways- and some entities will only respond to you under a specific face. Some entities will share faces, and some won’t even respond to you at all.

I’ll use a couple personal examples for reference.

When I first started working with Prince Cerberus, I addressed him using his Goetic name Naberius, as recorded in the Lesser Key of Solomon. I used his sigil and addressed that name.

One of the first things that came through crystal clear was his request to not be called Naberius. He made it very clear to me that he wanted to he called Cerbere or Cerberus, or that I could make up a personal name, but never should I use Naberius. He did not give a reason but he was firm on it.

Now, does this mean that we all can’t use the name Naberius and that we should all blacklist the name? NO! and this doesn’t mean that anyone who works with Naberius is disrespecting Cerberus!!!

For whatever reasons, I don’t know why, my Naberius is Cerberus. I don’t know if Naberius and Cerberus are the same entity or not, I just know that when I think of Naberius I get forwarded to Cerbere. I’m still able to use Naberius’ sigil, but I always get Cerberus.

That might not be true for you. That might not even be logical. That’s just the way that my spirit interacts with that spirit.

I’ve been a long time admirer of Lord Hermes. I approached him and tried desperately to gain his favor, but he refused 💔💔. He made it pretty clear that it wasn’t going to happen through a few ways, and since then he’s repeatedly rejected me…

lol 🥲

I was confused about that for a while, until I started getting hints towards Lord Mercury.

I can’t explain why, I have no idea what the real reason behind this is, but I feel extremely compatible with Mercury, but not with Hermes, like at all. Their energy feels quite separate and different to me. My Mercury isn’t quick like silver, he’s actually quite slow and contemplative.

I was bummed to not be able to establish a “work” relationship with Hermes but it’s probably for the best. Mercury is an excellent teacher.

What I mean to say through all of this rambling is that these things are not concrete. My Astaroth is only Astarte sometimes. Sometimes they feel very similar, sometimes they feel very distinct.

It’s important to remember that the Gods are not one thing, but many things at once. The answers to these questions are all variable. Only you can find the answers for yourself.

If you read this far you’re a real one 🫡

[erinptah]

cptdanversbiggestfan reblogged spudly0 1m ago

sowl Follow 14h ago

HOLY FUCK HAVE WE ALL SEEN THIS

HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK HOLY F U C K

#superhero tag #Moon Knights #screaming crying throwing things

gnu-tony-stark Follow 13h ago

Someone from Jewish tumblr please translate for the rest of us??

mishegascleo Follow 11h ago

So it's a TikTok (from the official Moon Girl account, don't think she and the Moon Knights are actually affiliated, but I guess they team up sometimes?) of a Moon Knight saying a long paragraph that basically boils down to "don't be a jerk on the internet."

The reason Jewish Tumblr is flipping out about it is, this 1-minute video is packed with bits of Yiddish and Hebrew. Some highlights:

mishegas = insanity, craziness, wackiness

geneivat da'at = lying or misrepresenting something, literally "stealing knowledge"

kvetching = complaining

mitzvah = a commandment, specifically a good deed that Jewish people are commanded to do

schmuck = a dick, in both the literal and figurative senses

lashon hara = callout culture (no seriously, it's when you spread bad news about people that's factually accurate, but you're not doing it to help anyone or improve a situation, you're just reveling in the drama)

mishpocheh = family, including chosen family

And he uses them all right! And he's talking so fast, but the pronunciation is spot-on. There's no acCENT on the wrong sylLABle. Even if someone else wrote it for him, he wouldn't be that casually fluid if this wasn't a mode he was already used to talking in.

ORTHODOX MOON KNIGHT IS JEWISH, Y'ALL. And not a new convert (this is not a dig at converts, you are loved and valid!), but someone who grew up in a community that talked like this. My heart.

#superhero stuff tag #Moon Knights #the others aren't in the video but he implies they're Jewish too #this is the least important thing about all this but-- #it is officially kosher to call them Orthodox and Reform now #see what I did there

mishegascleo Follow 6h ago

Seeing a whole lot of schmucks in the replies going "no ACTUALLY he pronounced such-and-such wrong."

Well, I am here to tell you that Jewish people are found in all different regions and cultures! What you are hearing is a specific accent, not "pronouncing things wrong." Hope that helps!

#not gonna try to pin down the exact accent #that feels uncomfortably close to doxxing #let's just say I know a few people who pronounce stuff EXACTLY the same way #and leave it at that

allthegoodthorfanblogsweretaken Follow 2h ago

Ok but if they ARE confirmed Jewish, doesn't that make it INCREDIBLY problematic for them to be working for an Egyptian god? Like is this really the representation we should be excited about??

spudly0 Follow 46m ago

real people cannot be bad representation of their own identities you walnut