#spicy shitpost

[twistedtrashposts]

No wait I just had the funniest text meme/kinda headcanon thought and now you're all getting subjected to it

Afab!MC sending their s/o a dick pic, then being like "oops, wrong person"

While their s/o is like "who's the right person??? WHO'S DICK IS THAT???"

[spacepiratethirstclub]

I think the fact that I made this creature myself and already want it to fuck me definitely demonstrates what my type is as far as alien/fantasy creatures are concerned lol

[thatmemeguy89]

Say it louder for the people in the back

[royalsea-art]

current mood

[milkbreadtoast]

Korean transmigrator problems:

[ash-rigby]

*I spread my legs for you and there's an accordion noise*

[lwde-encrusted-sideblog]

Weiss: YANG? What happened to you?

Yang: *Covered in Bruises and Scratches* You should she the other Guy!

~~~~~

Blake: *Sleeping peacefully, passed out from the sheer FUCKING Yang gave her*

[dandydanthelion]

what is he looking at

[sparring-spirals]

when ludinus says he saw the calamity happen to imply he was there, but he actually just saw one 30 minute youtube video about it with footage and like,, close enough! he's SO angry about it.

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Sun: (holding giant wok of curry, stir fried noodles) Alright, guys! Eat up! I managed to get some instant noodles off the cargo ships this morning!

Ilia: The word you're looking for is "stole."

Blake: I'm willing to ignore that fact if I don't have to eat another meal made out of bugs.

Weiss: I second that.

Yang: Thanks for making dinner for us!

Ruby: Yeah! We really appreciate it!

Everyone digs in, and the table is thrown into chaos.

Weiss: (whole body is crimson and fire is bellowing from her mouth)

Ruby: (face has melted into her cloak and sweat is pouring down her face) WHADKFOIDOOFEUS?!?!?!

Ilia: (scales have turned red, and a sweat is pouring down her face, but she is still eating) This kind of reminds me of Menagerie. What kind of noodles did you steal, Sun?

Sun: (coughing but chowing down) Some package that had a chicken on it. I thought the cartoon on the front was funny. (Coughs and hilds up empty package)

Yang: (sweating with little heated exhales but somehow managing to eat faster than Ilia and Sun) Is all of the food in Menagerie like this?! Blake, can we move to Menagerie after we get married?

Blake: (eating delicately and savoring every moment. Not a single bead of sweat, but her cheeks are pink) Let's focus on the wedding first, Yang. I think Weiss is dying.

Weiss: (soul is leaving her body while Ruby gives her CPR)

[twistedtrashposts]

Malleus: It appears that you do indeed possess testicles.

MC: ...He means you've got balls.

[thatmemeguy89]

Not only did they change his mind they rearranged it.

[an-albino-pinetree]

Cw Suggestive

Warnings: theres no actual n&fw of course and no nudity, but it’s a suggestive post and ..happenings of the very rough variety are more than implied. Swearing,

suggestive, dominant, borderline deranged text, heads up! Don’t interact if reading that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable :] Jax being mean but,, in the hot way—

I am ashamed

Confession time. I’ve been staring at this finished..thing for like a week, contemplating even posting it-l I put too much spoons into this stupid post, there’s no going back now, and it’s kind of funny

But it’s- mostly so unhinged and unapologetic and really really spicy

sm-baby I’m sorry-

This man would be relentless- you can’t tell me this guy wouldn’t be actively attempting to demolish you, outside of the bedroom and in it- he wants to see how much it’d take, how much you can take, change my thinking, you can’t, buddy would jackhammer you into a coma and then some—

✨stamina✨ this is a being. His cartoon logic testing your human limits would be 👏🏻👏🏻 yes. I’m losing my m i n d

[sunarctus]

you’d think the safehouse was big enough to not run into each other....

....you’d be wrong, Rudy is tired...

based on photo under cut from @ihatemyself-lmfao​​

I’m probably gonna finish this so ppl pls lemme know if I should actually draw Rodolfo or just leave him in blocky form to convey his fatigue

[anthurak]

You know those times when someone tells this story that just seems to get more and more embellished/extravagant with each retelling?

I think that's what Blake and Yang would end up doing when retelling how they fell in love, what with their seeming mutual fixation on making their time at Beacon seem as spicy and dramatic as possible.

Until they reach a point where their time at Beacon sounds like some genderbent shounen slash-fiction where them becoming partners somehow involved them angrily making out at mutual sword/gun-point.

Hence why Weiss and Ruby need to constantly fact-check them XD