#spy call recorder

[softquietsteadylove]

would you write another chapter with Thenamesh spies AU? your last prompt with them was just amazing and i would love to read a bit more with them!

Thank you for your work!

"Eyes on me?" Thena asked, seeming to talk to herself as her earpiece picked up her words.

"Are they ever."

"Gil," she chastised, trying not to smile to herself in the midst of the lavish party. She floated through the crowd, pretending to admire the decor, the artwork on the walls, the many a-list guests swimming about.

She had argued that Gilgamesh would be a better choice for actually roaming the party. He was talkative, charming, would be much more useful in getting key clues from those in attendance about their target.

But her ability to visually stand out but remain quiet would come in handy--she was just close enough facially to another family of guests to get in by recognition with only a fake name on the guest list.

"Anything yet?" he asked from his end, where he was working the coat check-in, hoping to get an early look at everyone in attendance.

"No word," Thena sighed into her untouched glass of champagne. She tipped it up to her lips periodically, pretending to take delicate little sips. "Any sighting?"

"I've seen two associates who were present at the last deal, but no sign of the man himself," Gil muttered back.

Thena heard him accept the coat of another guest in her ear and slipped around a corner.

"He's here."

Thena gently pulled the skirt of her dress, walking only slightly more briskly from the depths of the party to the coat closet. She could slip in through the back of it because of a vent panel Gil had left loosened for her.

"Good evening, sir," she heard Gil greet warmly.

"If I see a speck of dirt on that-" their target huffed at Gil immediately.

His debt was showing. Only the truly wealthy didn't care about the condition of their luxury items. Their target evidently hadn't embezzled enough from his multiple black market deals to feel secure again yet.

"Of course, sir," Gil responded and probably even smiled at the ass hole. "Nothing but the best."

"Prick," Thena muttered under her breath as she closed and locked the study door behind her and made her way to the corner of the room and up the bookshelf.

"Don't make me laugh, I have to be serious," Gil whispered to her.

She did her best not to laugh either, but it was hard not to with Gil as her partner. She slithered up the shelves and into the vent near the top of the room. It was a little smaller than she would like; these old houses had miserable ventilation, but luckily the modern H-Vac installations still made them manageable. "Meet you in there?"

"I've never had the opportunity to sneak off to the coat closet before," Gil teased her as he made his way away from the front entrance and into the walk-in closet.

"You weren't a ladies man in the academy?" Thena teased right back as she made her way one room across.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that."

Thena let out a real laugh as she reached her destination. She pushed out and caught the vent cover in one clean move, poking her head out. "Got me?"

"Always," Gil smiled up at her, ready to catch her as she slid out of the vent in her slippery silk dress. She turned herself over mid-air and landed in his arms like a princess from a fairy tale. He bounced her in his arms, making her laugh again. "Miss, if you needed your coat, you could have just asked."

"This way was faster," she shook her head as he set her down in her stocking feet (her shoes would have only caused unnecessary noise in the vent). She tiptoed through the room behind him as he led her to their target's coat. "Ugh, men like this need to learn that less cologne is more."

"I know, I feel like it's all over my hands," Gil lamented with a sigh as he pulled it off the rack. "Nothing at all in the real pockets, but I thought there might be something in the lining."

Thena ran her hands over both sides of the heavy wool and its satin lining. It was a beautifully made garment, and Gil was right to be suspicious of the pockets. "In the side here."

Gil held it taut for her as she pulled the slit of her dress upward. He averted his eyes, blushing as she reached up to the inside of her thigh.

Thena shook her head at it as she retrieved the knife she had snuck in. Gil had quite an innocent side to him--a belief in chivalry, of sorts, even in their line of work.

"Where is that coat boy?!"

"Shit," Gil cursed, rushing to hang the coat up again. But they were pretty far from their exit point and the front doors were already opened. "Sorry--c'mere."

Thena didn't have time to ask why he had apologised before he pulled her in, arm around her waist, sealing their lips together. Her eyes fluttered closed and - intentional or not - she let out a moan.

"Who's in here?!!"

Gil moaned against her as well, moving his hands over her back to her bare shoulders. He leaned his body, deliberately shaking the coat racks on either side of them.

"What are you doing?!" one of the house's main staff demanded loudly, shining a flashlight at Gil.

"Uh, s-sorry, Boss!" Gil stuttered, turning around and making a show of rubbing her lipstick off his skin.

"And you!" the flashlight bounced around as Thena made an effort to pull out a few stray hairs from her immaculate bun. "I do not--Madam!"

Thena raised a cool brow at him, dabbing at her lips delicately (as a woman of her cover's raising would).

"I-I-I am terribly sorry to disturb you," the butler bowed to her as he would any guest, turning down his flashlight and scurrying out of the room.

Both spies waited to the count of five before letting out a breath of relief.

"That was too close," Gil sighed, putting a hand over his pounding heart. He glanced at Thena as she tucked back the hair she had just pulled out. "Sorry to, uh, jump you like that."

Thena cleared her throat, glad they were back in the near pitch black of the room, feeling an unfortunate surge of heat under her skin. "It was quick thinking, although I'm sure the staff are already whispering about the heiress of a prestigious Russian family making out with a coat check boy."

"Well, maybe he was a very charming coat check boy," Gil shrugged, giving his same old smile as he pulled the coat off its hanger again. "Round two?"

Thena retrieved her knife again, ready to cut open the coat seam and find his secret dossier of information. It gave her something to concentrate on at least, aside from not letting Gil know she was breathing a little too hard after that kiss.

[sonoda-oomers]

the discord announcement post for AI features is so funny

they try to start with a "millions of people use AI on discord" hook that is just. people who use AI also use discord. and just use that reason to make discord "home of AI"

trying to debut an "icon remix app" that is totally not lame and embarrassing and definitely would sway people over this tech

the general barely contained sillicon valley excitement about controversial tech

"you've been asking for a whiteboard since forever so we added it" and completely refuse to elaborate why AI image gen is part of it

just completely and unabashedly transparent about how they're doing all this to capitalize on the budding AI scene

[onemonitarsoftware]

Discover the power of ONEMONITAR’s Call Tracker! Monitor and record phone calls on Android devices with real-time tracking, call recording, and caller details, all from anywhere. Whether you’re a parent ensuring your child’s safety, an employer boosting productivity, or an individual protecting your conversations, ONEMONITAR is your go-to solution. Easy to use, secure, and backed by 24/7 support—get started today!

[rbfclassy]

YOU'RE SUCH A PERV! — JJK MEN

SYNOPSIS...pervy acts that the jjk men do

INFO...jjk men (toji, gojo, nanami, geto) x fem!reader, panty stealing, jerking off, spying on you, taking pictures/videos of you, groping you, not proofread

INFO...likes and reblogs are appreciated

GOJO

gojo loves to steal your panties and use them to jerk off whenever you’re not home or busy with work in another room. The way he got fixated on this was by accident, seeing your lace panties lying on the bed because you forgot to fold them from the clean laundry and gojo, for some reason, immediately got hard. He didn’t care if they were used or not, but just the thought that they’ve been on you, snug against your pussy. Before he knew it, he was using your underwear to help jerk off and boy did he cum a lot. He was left shaking, panting and bewildered by what he just did. It became addicting, and now he steals your panties to jerk off. “Satoru, have you seen my pink lace underwear?” You ask. “Mmm, no. Maybe they’re in the wash?” He shrugs. Little do you know he has them stuffed in his pocket for later.

TOJI

this man is big on physical affection when it comes to you. Previously, he would hate being crowded and clingy with his partner, but something about you changed that in him. Toji is big on groping you and I’m talking like eyeing you down like a piece of cake, thinking of all the nasty things he could do to you before his big rough hands are reaching out to grab your titties. His thumbs rub over your hardened nipples with a smug smile on his face. Sometimes he’ll scoot by you, hand on your waist before saying, “scuse me, baby.” Pushing his entire bulge against your ass. All you do is look at him with narrowed eyes while he chuckles. When you’re lying down he likes smacking and grabbing your ass. At this point it’s muscle memory for him. But sometimes he ends up getting horny, and he’ll pull his cock out and start jerking off right there in front of you, still groping your body. “Toji, what are you doing?!” Your brows furrow. “Shhh, just keep watching the movie, sweetheart.”

GETO

this man is so pervy like big time perv. He will record you and take pictures of you anywhere he sees fit. Sneaking a picture of your ass in the dress you’re wearing. Taking videos of you while you’re changing. Sometimes he’ll zoom in your lips while you’re doing your makeup so he can jerk off to it later. He has a whole folder dedicated to you. When y’all are having sex, of course geto has to be the photographer he is. “Lift your skirt up for me.” He snaps a picture of you bent over the bed, the skirt barely covering your ass. Whenever you give him head, he’ll make it a priority to cum on your face so he can take pictures of you smiling. Isn’t he the best? Also, he for sure records you while you’re taking a shower, even if the steam is fogging up the glass, he can still see the outline of your naked body and that’s enough for him. “We should make a movie. What d’ya say, princess?”

NANAMI

as sweet as nanami is, I feel like he would be the type to spy on you and secretly listen to you if you’re ever playing with yourself. He can’t tell if you do it on purpose or what because each time he comes home, the bedroom door is cracked and you’re fucking yourself with the toy he bought you. As we watches you from the dark, he loosens the tie around his neck as he hold back the urge to bust into the room and fuck you senseless, but he gets a sense of adrenaline watching you silently, seeing you lose yourself as you call out his name. He palms himself through his slacks before he finally can’t resist it anymore and starts jerking off to you, following your movements. He knows it’s wrong to do it, he feels like such a creep, but goddamn does he love how it feels, the rush is gives him. “There you go baby, cum for me,” he whispers as his eyes intensely watch how your legs shake.

repost from my old account

[classyrbf]

ᯓ★ I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE! — GETO SUGURU

SYNOPSIS...headcanons about your pervy neighbor suguru

INFO...geto x fem!reader, perv!geto, spying, jerking off, pictures/videos without consent, fantasizing, masturbation, squirting, creampie, overstim,

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

pervy neighbor!geto who takes notices of your curtains being open, giving him a sneak peek of your wet, naked body each time you finish showering

pervy neighbor!geto who manages to always get his mail at the same time as you, making short conversation with a simple good morning or afternoon

pervy neighbor!geto who loves to see you walk away in those tight short thar barely cover your ass, he can’t help but think about what a tease you are

pervy neighbor!geto who takes pictures of you from his bedroom while you get dressed, saving them for later

pervy neighbor!geto who hears your moans and whimpers as you get fucked into the late hours of the night, his dick straining against his sweats and he can’t help but jerk off to you, wishing it was him

pervy neighbor!geto who jerks off to your photos, cumming so hard each time, fantasizing about painting your face with his cum, making a mess of you

pervy neighbor!geto who gets your package accidentally delivered on his doorstep and he thinks this is the perfect time to finally have a real conversation with you, lips quirking into a smirk

pervy neighbor!geto who knocks on your door to deliver the package, watching as your eyes go wide as constant ‘thank yous’ spill from your pretty glossed lips

pervy neighbor!geto who watches you in the dark of his room, focused how you fuck yourself with your dildo, legs spread wide as you squirt all over your sheets

pervy neighbor!geto who jerks off to you, following your tempo and every other movement you make, taking his phone out to snap a picture and record a video for safekeeping

pervy neighbor!geto who doesn’t realize his flash his on and you’re quick to notice, sitting up in your bed. He gasps and his cheeks flush in embarrassment, fumbling with his phone before dropping it

pervy neighbor!geto who hears your voice call out to him “I knew you’ve been watching me, Geto,” you giggle. His eyes go wide and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. You leave your window cracked, fully opening your curtains for him. This can’t be real, this must be a dream. His mouth salivates when you push the dildo past your sloppy folds and into your greedy hole, fucking yourself faster than before

pervy neighbor!geto who doesn’t expect you to come knocking on his door the next day, smiling up at him and batting your eyelashes, your tits nearly popping out of your shirt

pervy neighbor!geto who ends up fucking you right there on the entryway floor, slamming his hips so hard against yours it’s knocks the breath out of you

pervy neighbor!geto who makes you squirt over and over again, soaking your thighs and the hardwood floor, his cum mixing with your juices because he doesn’t care about overstimulating himself…he won’t waste this chance

pervy neighbor!geto who has you screaming his name and marking his back with your nails, manhandling your body, bending you in positions that you’ve never even thought of before

pervy neighbor!geto who fucks you on every surface in the house, the floor, the kitchen, the living room, the wall, the bathroom counter, and lastly the bed

pervy neighbor!geto who knows to record every second with you, capturing the lewd faces you make and the way your pussy squelches and squirts on his dick, making an hour long sex tape of you two

pervy neighbor!geto who’s the biggest perv known to man but goddamn is he the best fuck you’ve ever had, you love all the attention he gives you

taglist (comment to be added):

@valleydoli @zxnxy @screechingbasementprincess @lexluthorbutnotbald @lynxslokley @briyah0

[superbat-love]

Bruce: So? What are they doing now?

Clark: They’re sitting on the bench and eating ice cream.

Bruce: How close?

Clark: [squints] Umm, pretty close.

Bruce: How. Close.

Clark: [sighs exasperatedly] There’s a 12 inch gap between them. Bruce, did you call me here to the Batcave to spy on Cass and her date?

Bruce: Cass told me not to follow her, tag her with any recording devices or spy on her using drones or hidden cameras. I haven’t done any of that.

Clark: So I’m your tiny little loophole.

Bruce: Trust me, there’s nothing tiny or little about you, Clark. Now, what flavor are their ice-creams?

[interships-ulead]

Hidden Spy App: The modern-day spy tool to hear surrounding voices

No matter what parents do, kids and teenagers often find a way to get out of trouble as soon as possible. They can keep themselves away from the eyes of their parents in all possible manners. Hidden spy app is a modern-day spy tool that can now allow you to hear surround voices near your target cell phone at any time when you want.

Sometimes it’s not the parents, but the employers who want to know how their employees are behaving with their customers. In this scenario also, a hidden call recorder application comes of great use.

These are the two scenarios in which most parents and employers feel dubious about the activities of their kids and working staff. They want to actively listen to the voices of their employees and always wish to know whether they behave appropriately or not.

Social media addiction

Social media addiction is a modern-day disease that has gotten into the veins of all kids and teenagers. When it comes to teens, most teenagers are either addicted to cell phones, computers, or in some cases tablets as well. These platforms provide so much freedom to youngsters to explore the world around them. There are several social media applications available in the market including Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, Tinder, Hike, and more.

All of the above-listed applications provide numerous opportunities for kids and teenagers to interact with the world around them. They may exchange phone numbers, share text messages, make phone calls, and in some cases may even meet strangers living in the neighborhood.

Although these tiny tech gadgets are of great use in most scenarios, there are occasions when these tech creatures could turn into troublemakers for teens and employers.

Are smartphones and PCs Troublemakers?

If we only look at the basic operations of both of these machines, both of these machines ideally are not troublemakers. Whether it’s a smartphone or a computer, when both devices are used just for some specific purposes only, they can never become a troublemaker for the user. However, the internet has now created a limitless world for all its users. Hence, if it’s your child or employee using a cell phone, the internet can be a reason to create trouble in the lives of our dear ones.

How do smart devices trouble teenagers?

Young kids and teens use mobile phones to connect with strangers these days. In a few phone calls, they become friends with them and often meet them instantly. They share emails, photos, songs, videos, and even video chat with them regularly.

Also, today the youth has learned plenty of ways to do illegal activities and do all the most dangerous possible things with the help of the internet itself. Additionally, today they know all the ways to hide their whereabouts from their peers when they are partying or substance abuse and in some cases, they may also fall into the trap of premature sexual encounters.

It’s fatigue for business owners

Employers invest huge sums of money in smartphones, laptops, the internet, and all the necessary things to facilitate their working staff to operate righteously and deliver the best service to their customers. They also offer the costliest Windows and MAC laptops to their employees. But on the other hand, employees use these devices for their personal use. They use these devices to make personal calls and share personal text messages. Ultimately it damages the whole working environment and the productivity of the firm.

Install ONEMONITAR hidden call recorder app to monitor all of their activities with one click

All those troubled parents and employers can get carefree now. We bring you the best solution with the help of which you can monitor all the smartphone activities of your employees and kids with one click. ONEMONITAR hidden spy app is specifically designed after keeping all these requirements of modern-day parents and employers. This hidden spy app needs to be installed on the target android device to access all the data saved on it and share the same with the subscriber. With the help of an ONEMONITAR hidden call recorder for mobile, you can track all your cell phone activities via its user-friendly interface.

Use a Microphone as a secret recording device

Once you’ve successfully installed ONEMONITAR hidden spy app on the target android phone, you can then hear all the sounds which are made near the target android phone by sending a single command.

This feature empowers you to know everything that’s happening on a user’s cell phone. Whether your kids are near you or not, ONEMONITAR hidden call recorder spy app is the only solution that will ease the task for you.

Crux

Use ONEMONITAR hidden spy app to listen to all the sounds near the target android phone if you have doubts about anything a user. With the help of the ONEMONITAR hidden spy app, you can spy on additional features as well.

Features offered by ONEMONITAR hidden spy app

ONEMONITAR hidden spy app offers you a list of extended features which can let you spy on all cell phone activities instantly.

Record phone calls- With the help of the ONEMONITAR hidden spy app you can record all the phone calls on the target device.

View text SMS- ONEMONITAR hidden spy app allows you to view all the text messages with the click of a button.

Track WhatsApp Messenger- With the help of the ONEMONITAR hidden spy app you can track all the WhatsApp messenger chats and access the phone call logs made on WhatsApp.

Spy Facebook Messenger- If you are worried that your child might be addicted to Facebook, then ONEMONITAR hidden spy app is the best solution for you. You can read all the chats shared on Facebook messenger with the click of a button only.

Track GPS Location- GPS Location tracking is one of the most popular hidden spy app features offered by ONEMONITAR. With this hidden spy app, you can find out the precise location of the person via the ONEMONITAR control panel.

The list of all ONEMONITAR Hidden Spy App goes on and on. There are over 30 fantastic features offered by this hidden spy app to track all android phone activities instantly.

[charliemwrites]

Oooooh I finally did it!! Mafia au part 6! A little bit of that sweet angst/comfort.

Content: Violence, Previous Injury (mentioned), Panic Attack (non-descriptive)

Let it be said: Johnny’s no snitch.

Outgoing (“loud” Simon would grumble) as he is, he doesn’t run his mouth about anything important. Doesn’t talk business over a pint or boast his connections in bar disagreements. Doesn’t drop names, flash heat, throw around the weight of his employer. Has never spilled a single fucking secret, not for knives, acid, a fucking gun to his head.

Oh, and please don’t tell the boss.

Let it also be said: Johnny is loyal.

He would happily lay down his life for any of his comrades, lives and dies for SpecGru – for Price. And even though you’re new, you’re one of them now. You’ve quickly found and secured your place in Price’s inner circle, different as you may be. Johnny would go to war for you, and your silly pink sticky notes.

Still, keeping something – anything from the boss. Even a private matter like this…

It happened on SpecGru property, that makes it SpecGru business. And it happened to you, which makes it Price’s business.

That you don’t already know that is… well, that’s between you and the boss. Johnny’s already too involved as it is. (Not that he regrets helping you. Not a bit. If he had his way, that little prick would have left with his teeth in his pocket and a new appreciation for his remaining thumb).

So now Johnny is stuck. He likes you; he really does. That you trust him with something so personal isn’t lost on him, especially in this line of work. He also has a healthy fear of your wrath. (You may not carry any weapons he’s seen, but you’ve got Price grimacing when you narrow your eyes just so. Johnny knows where his cupcakes are made, and he likes them without arsenic, thank you). So, personally, he wants to be able to honor your request to keep the matter private.

But then there’s Price, and whatever he’ll do to Johnny if – when – he finds out about all this.

Johnny’s solution?

“Christ, Gaz, ya shoulda seen it. Never seen the little miss tell someone off like that. Graves woulda been shakin’ in his boots. Will have to ask security for a recording of it.”

Gaz, unimpressed with Johnny’s volume, rolls his eyes and walks away, muttering about tea for his sudden headache. And Price, sitting at his desk, twitches and reaches for his phone.

Mission: accomplished.

Not the most elegant, but he’s a mafia lieutenant, not a fuckin’ spy. Now, to get those pastries you like before Price sees the footage.

“Luv?”

You glance up from the expense reports you’ve been working through for the better part of an hour. Mr. Price is leaning in the doorway to his office, shoulder to the jamb. There’s… an odd look on his face. You’ve never seen it before, don’t have it categorized in your mental files.

“Yes, boss?” you ask, straightening up.

“A word?”

You blink. That’s… different. You don’t like it.

Price is a steady sort of man. Not predictable, but consistent. That this is new, unusual, unfamiliar, makes you uneasy. Reminds you of your last boss, who could call you into his office with an affable grin, only to spend thirty minutes berating you for anything and everything he could think of.

Price has never done that, nothing even close… but you can’t suppress the slight shake in your hands as you smooth your skirt down. Hide it with a little flick of your wrists before grabbing for your ever-trusty tablet. Hell, you probably don’t even need it, but at this point it’s practically a comfort item. Maybe you should name it, put some googly eyes on it.

“Sweetheart?”

You startle a bit. Realize your feet have already carried you into his office and followed him right to his desk. Except instead of standing at his elbow as usual, you’re facing him across his desk. Like you did during your interview with him, when you were still strangers. Like you used to do for your previous boss.

“Oh, sorry, sir,” you chirp, forcing your usual brightness, “those expense reports, ya know? What did you need me for?”

Without a word, he spins his computer monitor around. Your brow furrows as you process the video playing on the screen. You. Soap. Brandon. Your stomach sinks.

There’s no sound, but there doesn’t really need to be. Even in profile, the expressions are crisp – high end cameras. You feel numb as the scene plays out all over again. You and Brandon snipping at each other back and forth. Your rigid spine, stiff shoulders. Brandon’s sleezy confidence. Soap, getting visibly aggravated as the seconds pass.

And there it is, the moment you spun on your heel, done with the conversation, and Brandon reached for you.

When you see Soap’s hand snap out – just a blur on the screen – you have to sit. Muscle memory collects your tablet in your lap, sweaty hands stacking neatly on top of it. Your heart is beating either too fast or too slow.

Your eyes stay locked on the screen until you and Soap disappear into the elevator, and the video stops.

“Should I play the elevator footage as well?” Price asks, voice low and quiet. “That comes with sound.”

It takes all your years of learned discipline and cultivated poise to resist shrinking in on yourself. It does not, however, stop your eyes from burning.

“Sir,” you say, struggling to keep your voice even, “I am so sorry.”

There’s a beat of tense silence as you gather yourself, throat getting tighter and tighter. Your head is spinning with fear and anxiety. What he’ll say, what he’ll do. How you could possibly damage control this.

“I-I don’t even know how he found out where I work,” you say, “and Soap w-was just trying to help. If I’d known that would happen, I would have taken it outside.”

You can barely look at Price as your voice break midway through, the panic leaking into your tone even as you stay frozen in place.

“Did we – is he suing? Is – is that why—?”

The tears escape despite your efforts, dripping fast and down your cheeks as you shudder in a breath. You can’t pay for a lawsuit, especially not if you’re fired over this. And you don’t want to lose this job. You love this job, you love—

“Oh, darling, what a mess you’ve made of yourself.”

You sniffle as Price rounds his desk and kneels in front of you, plucking his handkerchief from his breast pocket. He tuts at you when you open your mouth to protest, already blotting at your cheeks with a surprisingly gentle touch.

“There now, no need to cry,” he soothes, thumbing away another tear before it can fall. “I know it takes you ages to get your eyeliner right. This is nothing to ruin it over.”

“But…”

“I’m not angry, luv,” he continues, voice still low and quiet. This time, it doesn’t make your shoulders tense. “Wasn’t before and definitely not now. Chin up, there’s a dear.”

“Y-you’re not?” you warble.

“Not a bit,” he answers. “Not at you, at least.”

“Then why…?” You gesture weakly at the computer screen.

He sighs, something almost fond passing over his face. “Darling, you could have been hurt. Imagine if Soap hadn’t been there. All of us on the top floor, waiting for you to get back, not knowing something was wrong.”

He shakes his head, cradling your cheek with the same hand that brushed away your tears.

“You’re one of mine, you understand? Anything that happens to you is my responsibility,” he explains. “And I didn’t… enjoy that you want to keep something like this from me.”

You drop your eyes in shame. Of course. An employee assaulted on company ground, his personal assistant no less. Price would never stand for that sort of thing. He looks out for his own, looks out for you.

“Hey, look at me, luv. None of that now,” he coaxes. “I just want to get to the bottom of why you didn’t want to tell me.”

It occurs to you that that tone you heard earlier might have just been genuine worry and maybe… a bit of hurt. You twist your hands in your lap as you gather your words.

“I didn’t… it wasn’t because of you,” you murmur. “I just… was so embarrassed. And I didn’t want to make it your problem. I’m supposed to make your life easier, not harder.”

He huffs, but you’re relieved to see wry amusement on his face now.

“No more of that,” he orders, as softly as he when he wiped your face. “Am I understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“There’s a love.” He gently pinches your cheek, then stands. “Stay here, I’ll get you a cup of water. Take a moment, yeah?”

You nod, sniffling again. He squeezes your shoulder as he passes, and you finally let yourself breathe. Not getting fired, not getting sued. And Price isn’t mad at you. Christ, he needs to work on his approach.

“Kyle.”

“Yeah, boss?”

“Look into that knob from the lobby. And the little miss’s last boss.”

“You’ve got it.”

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Masterlist

[ven0moir]

... DID KAREN LISTEN IN ON BYLER'S CALLS? Okay so hear me out

HER SIDE EYE HERE AT TED'S COMMENT ... like, she knows something. i doubt she knows about Byler per se but she knows something we don't know or at least suspects something. Like she did in S1 before the Wheelers learned about El.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED DURING THOSE PHONE CALLS? one thing Karen and i have in common is that we're both nosey af i need to know what the heck those two talked about. bc i understand this moment:

was when they both had butterflies for the first time / established that 'mutual understanding' thing they got going on, but i've always felt that something meaningful may have happened during those phone calls to prompt Will to draw that painting. So i get the feeling those phone calls matter for further context.

circling back to Karen, Mike telling Karen "how many times?" literally makes it canon that this moment in S3 was NOT the first time Karen listens in on HIS phone calls specifically.

so i do think this either means Karen having listened in on their phone calls will be brought up in s5 for some reason involving exposition, or we will literally hear their phone calls .... through a recording.

During a moment of action / when something else is going on. Just LOVE the theme of people listening in on private phone conversations, huh? And guess what scene comes RIGHT AFTER THIS ONE? Yup. MIKE ARRIVING AT CALIFORNIA.

We know phones / phone calls have been lightly associated to Byler especially in S4 but now let me introduce to you the idea of them being SPIED ON while having those phone calls, by Karen (intentionally) AND Hawkins Lab/military people (by chance/coincidence)

this is right now my favorite theory i have came up with, bc honestly it is SO much fun finding clues about it. And i feel like whatever conversation they had will be relevant somehow. and this all might be a reach but a part of me feels like i am onto something. perhaps we will have a karen/mike parallel to nancy's conversation with her in s3.

I'll keep updating this if I find more evidence of Karen spying on their phone calls but if anyone else has anything to add that I might've missed I'd greatly appreciate it!!

[little-pondhead]

DP x DC idea:

Paulina Sanchez becomes the Wayne family's new PR manager. She works hand-in-hand with Alfred and Tim's secretary (maybe another Amity Parker?) to coordinate meetings with the press and keeps a lid on the family's more unique civilian adventures.

Everything is going well until she suddenly comes onto the comm system late at night, startling Nightwing so badly that he almost misses his next flip.

"Robin, don't forget to assist the civilian. They're recording the fight and will probably post it on their Instagram later."

"Batman, turn to the left a little bit. The street lamp is casting an ugly shadow; you need to seem more mysterious."

"Red Hood, don't forget to return the heads of the gang leaders in a canvas bag this time, not polyester. It'll add to the ambiance of the situation."

Little snippets like these filled their ears each and every night, despite all surveillance indicating that Miss Sanchez was home asleep in her bed. Was someone copying the manager's voice on purpose? Why couldn't they trace where the extra comm signal was coming from? Was Paulina Sanchez a spy sent to rattle their resolve? What was going on???

It was a lot more innocent than the paranoid-stricken Waynes thought. Paulina was simply doing her job according to Amity Park's logic.

Most people didn't have some weird lair in their basement, usually filled with world-ending secrets. But 9/10 Amity Parkers did, so it was a cinch to find the entrance to the Batcave on her first day. And when Paulina signed on as a manager, she didn't realize that the job did not extend to the family's nightlife. Nor did she realize that no one else knew who the Batfamily were since Amity Parkers could clock secret identities in an instant. (Thanks for that wish, Wes.)

So while the Waynes are freaking out about the breach in their system, Paulina is mentally patting herself on the back for being so good at her job. She even utilized her hard-earned sneaking-out and liminal skills to create a fake body double to confuse any aggressive intruders that crept into her apartment while she was gone. And honestly, the Bats have never had such a positive online reputation! Getting Tucker to encrypt her secondary social medias was the right call. Now she can post about her bosses without anything being traced back to her.

Paulina is a little peeved about her overtime pay not showing up on her paychecks, however. Maybe she'll bring that up to Mr. Wayne the next time she sees him.

[lovinglonerhybrid]

Starscream becomes an omen to the navy/airforce.

Around the early 2000s after 9-11 the navy and air force started to notice this lone fighter jet that wold set off there proximity alarms. Every time they sent a squadron after it the plane would fall in formation and just fly with the pilots a while. No one could get close enough to determine the pilot inside and some said the plane had no pilot. The higher ups where worked that it was some kind of new spy tactic but the sailors and pilots began to hold this lone jet as a kind of good luck charm. Especially after it saved a bunch of rookies who accidentally flew into an ambush. They called him ghost and would always talk to him on long flights if he joined them. As more and more people met or heard the stories of this ghost jet it became almost like a mascot to the men. One day some bord kid on a carrier decided to open a radio frequency and see what happened at the same time the ghost jet flew over and the young solider herd what he could only describe as mechanical bird song after that the pilots wold turn on a recorder and open the radio channel whenever the jet flew along with them and they wold play it on long lonely flights or when they where all stuck inside during a bad storm and it would help soothe them. Anywho just running my moth again sorry

[fayes-fics]

Textual Encounter

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Text fic. Wrong number meet-cute over text.

Warnings: none... this is fluff and humour.

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Fic request fill for Anon (HERE). I kept it fun and fluffy, but yeah, I can see a sequel where they sext. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy! <3

Y/N: Hey Liz, it’s y/n y/l/n. Kindle Spa gave me your mobile. Said you had moved to another salon. I don’t trust anyone else to wax me tbh. Big date this week, kwim 😉 Can I get an appt? I’ll come to you. Doesn’t matter where. 

BB: Errr, I think you have the wrong number…

Y/N: Not Liz?

BB: Nope, Ben here. 

Y/N: Not a waxer, I presume?

BB: I may have waxed lyrical in my time, may even have lit a few candles. Have not waxed anyone no - my own body or anyone else’s. Yet. But I’m game to try anything once...

Y/N: Lol.

BB: Big date, eh?

Y/N: ….Yeah. Not that it's any of your business, stranger Ben.

BB: Fair. BB: Does it hurt?

Y/N: ??

BB: Getting waxed.

Y/N: Oh. Yeah. Like a motherfucker. But you sorta get used to it, tbh. And it’s so much less itchy than shaving regrowth, especially in sensitive areas… Wait, why am I having this convo with a complete stranger?!

BB: We don’t have to be strangers. BB: I’m Ben, 33, London. BB: I have no strong opinions on hair removal methods.

Y/N: lol. K. I’m y/n, 28, also London. Y/N: I, as you can see, do have some opinions.

BB: Hi y/n 👋 BB: I hope you can find Liz. Or someone else to assist with your hair needs.

Y/N: I would like it stated, for the record, I’m not hairy like a troll. I just like to keep things neat.

BB: The lady doth protest too much…

Y/N: You are cheeky for a stranger.

BB: Hey, I thought we agreed. Not strangers. Me Ben. You hairy troll.

Y/N: BLOCK.

BB: Just typing it doesn't work, you know.

Y/N: You should work at the Apple Genius Bar.

BB: Hmm, possibly. I do look good in blue. Or so I've been told.

Y/N: Always glad to provide career counselling.

BB: 🫡

4 days later.

BB: How’d your date go?

Y/N: That's odd. I don’t see a Genius Bar appt in my calendar…?

BB: iCal is a lying bastard. BB: I also assume you now can move faster through water.

Y/N: ??

BB: Waxed smooth like a dolphin…?

Y/N: 😆 Y/N: Entirely none of your business, but yes, actually. Well mostly. I leave some. Why am I telling you this?! Y/N: The guy was such a dud tho, I didn't get to show it off 🙁

BB: Please don't stop on my account. This is just delightful.  BB: I apologise on behalf of all men.

Y/N: For what?

BB: Having 4 sisters, I find the safest answer here is usually… everything, of course.  BB: But specifically, your rubbish date.

Y/N: Apology conditionally accepted. Y/N: 4 sisters?! 

BB: Only conditional? What do I gots to do to make it unconditional? BB: Yeah, I know… I’ve got 3 brothers too. My parents were really into each other. 

Y/N: IDK, serve a mean martini? Y/N: Understatement.

BB: That could be arranged. I took an online mixology course during lockdown.  BB: My sister El declared I'm better than Stanley Tucci. Admittedly, that was after 4 espresso martinis… but I'm taking it. She's opinionated but the best one. They are a weird bunch tho 🤔

Y/N: WOAH WOAH WOAH. That's a bold claim.

BB: Well, there’s only one way to dispute it: try one for yourself…

Y/N: Smooth, Genius Bar, smooth.

BB: I do my best 🤷

1 day later.

Y/N: I can't get my AirPods to work.

BB: You do realise I didn’t actually follow your career advice?

Y/N: Urgh. Inconvenient. What use are you then?

BB: As I said. Cocktails. I’ll try my hand at waxing if you want.

Y/N: Best stick to the day job. Which is…?

BB: Graphic design.

Y/N: Oh, that’s quite cool. 

BB: It pays the bills. You?

Y/N: MI-5

BB: Wow, you're a shit spy.

Y/N: It could be an excellent double bluff…

BB:

Y/N: Oh, we’ve graduated to memes now, have we, Genius Bar?

BB: It was called for.

Y/N: I’ll take it. Purely cos it's a Hemsworth.

BB: I would too, tbh.

Y/N: Bi?

BB: For a Hemsworth? Always.

Y/N: Anyone else?

BB: I’ll keep you posted.

Y/N: I'm on the edge of my seat.

3 days later.

BB: Oscar Issac.

Y/N: Good non sequitur evening to you, too, Genius Bar Ben.

BB: For the bi thing.

Y/N: Ahh. Got it. I can respect that.

BB: This is me, btw: www.instagram.com/benbridgerdesign.  BB: Figured you can decide for yourself if I'm a creeper.

Y/N: Appreciated.

3 minutes later.

Y/N: You paint?

BB: I dabble

Y/N: Modesty will only make me like you more.

BB: You like me?! 🥹

Y/N: You didn't mention you were handsome.

BB: There is no way to respond to that without me sounding like a twat.

BB: But thank you 😊

Y/N: This is me: www.instagram.com/ynhandle 

7 minutes later.

BB: Oh, Amalfi is so beautiful, isn't it?

Y/N: Wow. That's a deep cut. How far did you scroll back??

BB: 👀

Y/N: Yeah, it's beautiful. Shame it's tainted for me now. Was there with an ex.

BB: I saw. Very handsome.

Y/N: Are you sure you're not just into men full-stop?

BB: 🤷 BB: You’re very pretty, too.

Y/N: I’d believe it if you didn't mention my “very handsome” ex first…

BB: I call it like I see it. BB: I have had 4 whiskeys, tho, so make of that what you will.

Y/N: On a school night?!

BB: It’s my brother Ant's birthday. This is like non-optional drunk, I’ll have you know.

Y/N: Happy birthday to him. 

BB: He says thanks. He’s also told me to get off my fucking phone. Which is rich. He is texting his wife nonstop.

Y/N: Hah! Safe travels through Whiskeytown, BenBridger 🫡

BB: I kinda miss Genius Bar…. 😞

Y/N: I can't win…

2 days later.

BB: Settle an argument for me.

Y/N: 🍿

BB: Col, younger brother, never stops eating... He claims Katz Deli is overrated. I argue it's touristy but still good. You’ve been. Where do you sit on this matter?

Y/N: You really did go thru my Insta, didn't you?? Y/N: Thanks for the follow, BTW.

BB: It's a compliment, I assure you. BB: Welcome. And same.

Y/N: Not complaining. And yeah, I agree with you, actually.

BB: Hah! Excellent!!

Y/N: Wait… your older brother is Ant, and your younger brother is Col? You’re Ben. So, like ABC?

BB:  … I already warned you my family was weird.

Y/N: You did. You did.

BB: Now, please excuse me while I go gloat.

Y/N: 👍

5 mins later.

BB: Hi. This is Col. You must be the famous y/n. Ben’s in the bogs, and the mug left his phone on the table unlocked, so this is on him.  BB: He like really likes you. Like a lot. Will you go on a date with him pls? 

Y/N: Err, ok, hi Col. Y/N: Umm, I think Ben should be the one to ask me that. Don’t you?

BB: He’s too scared you’ll say no.

Y/N: I won't…

BB: EXCELLENT.

2 minutes later.

BB: I am so SO sorry about that 😬 He’s such a shit. BB: But… do you mean it?

Y/N: Ask me properly…

BB: Would you, y/n, like to go on a date with me? Please?

Y/N: I would be delighted to Ben. 😀

BB: 🙏 BB: Are you free on Thursday? Could I take you to dinner?

Y/N: Sounds wonderful. 

BB: 7pm? Meet at Picadilly Circus? By Brasserie Zedel?

Y/N: I’ll be there 😀

BB: 😀

10 days later.

BB: I think you should know… Liz is an artiste 😮‍💨

Y/N: Stop texting me from my bed, you dork. 😘 Y/N: How do you take your coffee?

BB: I'm like 10 meters away. Why not just ask me?

Y/N: You started this, Genius Bar…

BB: Come back to bed, Mostly Hairless Troll.

Y/N: I asked for that, didn't I? 🤦

Benedict taglist, pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies

[briardoll]

The Obey Me! Characters react to an MC who talks to themselves!

Lucifer actually thinks it’s kind of cute, but worries you may be lonely, or quite possibly mentally ill. He may ask why you talk to yourself so much so please assure him that you’re fine!!

Mammon thinks you’re crazy, “who likes talkin’ to themselves??” Maybe it’s a weird human thing, or maybe you’re just a weird human. Either way he’s gonna bust in and ask why you’re so passionate in your hatred for modern art. (The kind of stuff where they paint a canvas entirely blue or tape a banana to a canvas and call it art. <- defo isn’t something I’M passionately hateful about (¬_¬))

Levi understands completely what it’s like to have to converse with yourself because you know nobody else understands/cares about what you’re saying. Comes in and tries his best to listen and understand your thoughts!

Satan stands outside and eavesdrops on what you’re saying, uses the information he earns to one-up his brothers by knowing what you like/dislike without ever having asked or being told directly. It creeps you out until you come out of your room unexpectedly and catch him spying.

Asmo will originally think that your live-streaming something and check all your socials, (why would you stream without telling him!? He wants to watch every second you know!) when there are no lives to be found, he comes in and asks to help film the deviltube video with you, realizing there’s no video to film either he decides to get in on the conversation and even agrees with what you’re saying! He never knew you had that much in common before!!

Beel thinks you must be hallucinating, it’s because you haven’t eaten enough of course!! He brings you your favorite meals, drinks, and snacks so that you can regain your mental stability. You tell him that you just talk to yourself to get your thoughts out somewhere and it confuses him, he’s a man of not too many words, and if it’s not about food he’s doesn’t usually pay enough attention to form an opinion. Eats snacks with you and listens to what you have to say.

Belphie thinks you talk way too much about things that aren’t important. Does laugh when he hears about the time a cicada flew in your mouth one summer as a child. “So you’ve never known how to keep your mouth shut, huh?” Whoops, gave himself away, now you know he’s there!!! (Definitely never happened to me and I’m definitely NOT speaking from experience! Actually… yes it did. I’m scared of cicadas TO. THIS. DAY.)

Diavolo thinks you talk to yourself because he doesn’t make enough time for you! He feels bad that you feel the need to talk to yourself because he’s made you so lonely! Please promise him that he did nothing wrong! He’ll still deploy a little D. To be your conversation partner when he’s busy with paperwork.

Barbatos only requests that you speak to yourself quietly, the young lord is working you know! At least now he knows your likes and dislikes better and can better cater to your needs. (him and Satan have similar mindsets in this regard)

Simeon wonders in you’re recording some kind of podcast. He’s never found it online, but it doesn’t bother him because he can listen from right outside your door. Is always excited to know what the next episode is about!

Luke comes in and asks you if you’re sick, when you tell him no, he asks if you’re lonely. You could’ve just asked him to talk! Baked some sweets and shares them with you while you talk about your common interests.

Solomon responds randomly to your rhetorical questions from outside the door. You tell him to go away and that you weren’t talking to him, just when you think he’s gone he answers you again and laughs, it’s now a fun game for him to play when he visits you.

Thirteen plays pranks on you while you do it, knocks on the door really hard and then hides so that when you open it nobody’s there! Will go to the electrical breaker in the house and switch the lights in your room on and off to hear you scream in terror.

Raphael thinks a curse might’ve been placed on you, asks if he needs to rain spears onto the person who did this to you, you tell him that no, you weren’t cursed, you’re just like this. He now thinks you are very odd and may possibly need some kind of mental help.

Mephisto will not tolerate your stupidity. If there is nobody in the room, you simply don’t speak, you aren’t filming a video, you aren’t talking on the phone, and you’re certainly not normal for acting like this! Cease it at once!

[vaxxman]

What do you think about 5cp TF2 map Gullywash?

Getting autobalanced on Gullywash feels especially tragic.

More sketches and more impressions under the cut.

In order to draw this, I watched some highlander matches on Gullywash, due to finding no matches in competitive, and the aimbots going rampant in casual. I was only able to play 5 proper matches on casual, (2 of which my teams won purely due to team imbalance,) so some of this is based on what I saw other people were doing in competitive match recordings, as well as how it feels to play on community servers with AI train bots. No one was playing whenever I was queueing up :(

I learnt very fast that Gullywash is one of these maps where you will die a lot, or steamroll the capture points, and there is no in-between, because you either position yourself correctly or you don't. While this goes for every map in tf2, I never really felt frustrated when dying here. I could always find a reason for my mistakes and generally it turned out to be a very rewarding learning experience.

I think Gullywash is extremely fun and fast paced. I especially enjoy giving scouts and pyros overheal buffs, because of how much flanking you can do here. The symmetry of the map is immaculate and the amount of objects that just lie around allows demos to place a lot of traps and players to just hide in corners.

(Using Scouts as your Uber Driver here is also especially fun, so many near death situations!)

For some reason, the soldiers and demos who play on this map are really good at protecting medics? That's the impression I got, everyone knew when to retreat and not push, everyone turned around when they saw my health go down, everyone was shooting the spies for me when we were in the open and I was too focused with healing the people fighting death matches at the front so we could capture.

(My personal heroes who just rocket jump over to you just to shoot the spy 2m away from you, and then just rocket jump away again)

Snipers aren't much of a problem, since there are so many options for hiding properly while still being able to reach your team mates. The same sadly doesn't apply to spies and I think I have died more to spies on this maps than to sticky traps.

While I love the vaccinator, I think Stock and Kritz are the better options on this map. Nothing cries geneva convention war crime more than entering the door to the last capture point and ubering a soldier who starts spamming everyone with rockets in this rather crammed up room where everything can give you splash damage.

Shoutout to a pyro called Joey who carried the last game I played, it was a blast ubering you through the last capture point.

[ghost-proofbaby]

It's summer for you, winter for me. Warm me up with strawberry fluff! As always, my muse, your muse, the one and only, Eddie.

Midsummer's night, because I don't have a lot to inspire you with. I'm thinking something cute but weird? Maybe some human body softness where Eddie is a bit of a freak and we love him for it. And we're told our bodies are lovely, even when they're doing weird shit.

I lalalove youuuuu. xo Rhi

RHI!!!! <3 i adore you. thank you for this prompt - i had far too many ideas for it, but ended up on settling for this one, which coincidentally feels like the most subtle of them all? either way, it definitely turned out being the softest. give me an eddie munson who just wants to sniff me like a dog. this definitely got a bit long but i hope you enjoy, my dear <3

the smell of you

warnings: weirdos in love? idk. i have a skewed sense of what is actually weird i think. mentions of death and coffins jokingly. eddie 'manhandles' reader sort of. not edited.

wc: 2.2k+

come enjoy a sweet summer treat with me <3

“Eddie?”

The entire apartment is quiet – too quiet – as you drop your keys into the old crystal bowl on the counter. The clink resonates through the air, louder than the soft murmur of the stereo static you can hear from down the hall.��

“You dead?” you call out again, slipping off your running shoes and tossing down your headphones onto the counter as well now, “Do I need to call the coroner?” 

Your tone is lilted, teasing with airiness as you continue to wander deeper into the apartment and head straight for the room you know Eddie has to be in. Like the waves pulled by the moon, there’s an incessant string tied around one end of your soul that connects you to his, and you follow it all the way down the hallway. The bedroom door is wide open, and you can hear his mumbled yell of a response without clarity before you even cross the threshold. 

You wouldn’t have even needed him to verbally respond to find him in this tiny apartment. You two could get separated on the streets of a bustling city, of a buzzing New York sidewalk, and you still wouldn’t properly lose him. It’s more than just soul ties and his gravity that keeps you pulled to him. 

Something unspoken. Something homely. 

“Sorry, what was that?” you hum as you spy him face-down in the bed, pillow muting him by the mouthful, “Say it one more time, and this time not into the pillow.” 

When he finally properly turns over, he’s a vision. Sleep lines folded into his skin and a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth, eyes squinting in irritation not at you but the sunlight flooding in through the bedroom window. Messy hair, messy shirt, messy everything. A kind of mess you just want to collapse into currently, curling up in all that he is from the day’s exhaustion. 

He’d mentioned wanting to take a nap before you’d left for the gym. Something about the summer heat draining him, trailing off as he’d rambled about how he’d probably thrive as a vampire. 

“I said,” he huffs, sitting up, the frizz of his hair becoming a makeshift halo, “If you call the coroner, request the comfiest coffin possible.”

“Why do you need a comfy coffin if you’re already dead?” 

“You dare deny me of being buried in tempurpedic memory foam? In my hour of need?” 

You roll your eyes as you huff out a little laugh, forcing yourself to turn away from him long enough to strip out of your socks. But just as you reach down for the pieces of clothing, you catch sight of the source of that stereo static flooding the room. 

Your shared record player, spinning a blood red pressing of one of your more recent vinyl purchases. The album has been played through, but the player no longer had an automatic stop mechanism, probably from years of use. 

The center of the record is probably scratched, and Eddie knows it, from how sheepish he looks when you glance over your shoulder at him. 

“Speaking of death,” you walk over quickly, purposefully, before carefully lifting the needle and cutting the static finally, “Care to explain why you’re burning scratches into my Momento Mori vinyl?” 

“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologizes, nearly flinging himself off the bed as he scooches quickly to the end, clearly fully awake now, “I put it on and thought I’d just lay down for a quick second, but then the bed was so comfy, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick nap, and then…” he trails off, looking up at you through his lashes with big eyes already pleading for forgiveness, “I’ll buy you a new one. Swear it.” 

It’s impossible to be mad at him when he’s looking like this, inhumanely soft and easily forgiven, “You’re lucky you’re cute, or you really would be dead.” 

He doesn’t respond with words, but instead the outstretch of his hands, fingers flexing as he beckons to you. The needle rests on its perch, the vinyl left behind to gather dust for a few extra moments, as you go straight to him. 

When his palms slip beneath your old t-shirt and meet your skin, they’re pleasantly warm. 

“You were right,” you admit as his knees spread, delegating even more room for you to stand in front of him as your hand wanders to cradle the side of his face, fingers tangling in sweaty curls from his rest. Your thumb mimics his on your own skin instinctively, tracing a large arch right up over his cheekbone, “It’s hot as balls outside.” 

“Told you so,” he murmurs, smiling softly in satisfaction as he leans lazily into your touch. 

“You did,” you agree quietly, half-entranced by his relaxed face, no sight of pride in the room currently. 

He resembles a cat as he continues to preen under your gentle hand, and you almost expect him to start purring right before you find the strength to pull away, removing his hands from where they'd wandered to your lower back. 

One swipe of his finger along your sweaty spine, and you’d remembered what your original intentions had been immediately upon getting home. 

“Wai- Where are you going?” he’s seemingly brought back down to Earth the moment he loses the pattern your thumb had been tracing, the press of your fingertips into his scalp. When he reaches back out to latch onto you again, you take a step back, “Get back here-”

“I need to shower,” you laugh, shaking your head and smacking his hands away as he continues to barter, “I’m all sweaty and smelly, let me go clean up and then we can nap togeth-” 

“You can shower after we nap,” he nearly whines, finally catching your shirt between his fingers and tugging, uncaring for if he stretches the fabric. A small price to pay to have you close to him, “C’mon, sweetheart. I know you’re just as exhausted as I am.” 

You swear you meant to take another step backwards, but somehow, you end up back between his knees, “Did you not hear me, Munson? I stink.”

“Good.” 

He doesn’t give you any time to react – in an instant, he’s throwing his face forward, burying it against your stomach as you let out a gasp and immediately try to pry him away with far too gentle of hands in his hair. 

“Eddie!”

If it were anyone else, you’d probably be mortified. But Eddie just takes a dramatic deep breath in, nose buried just shy of your belly button, and when his shoulders start to shake with muted laughter, you can’t stop the smile from breaking. Your fingers are still twisted in his hair, still pulling back in an attempt to get him away from you, but he’s resilient. 

And all your faux resistance is weak in comparison. Soon enough, you’re back to melting into him. 

Only once you’re relaxed once more, no sign of trying to pull away again any time soon as his hands once more evade the space beneath your shirt to wander up and down your sticky skin without a care in the world, does he lift his face away from you long enough to breathe and speak, “I’ll have you know – I love your stink.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.” 

“You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m your idiot.” 

The game of banter is cut short when he goes back to pressing his nose into your clothes that surely can’t smell good. No amount of deodorant or perfume could erase that underlying stench of sweat. Hell, the shirt is still a bit moist from it all: from the walk to the gym, from your workout itself, from the walk home. It’d been through the ringer, and you’re back to tugging him away from you. 

“I refuse to believe you like how gross I smell right now,” you reinforce, eyes darting towards the bathroom connected to your master bedroom, “I promise I’ll be quick with the shower.” 

“Baby,” he fights back, wrapping his arms around you securely, no intention of losing this battle, “You remember that time we went to the fair, and you were complaining about how you were sweating, so I tried to lick your face?” 

Your nose scrunches quickly at the memory, “I do, unfortunately.”

“You really think I’d be willing to lick the sweat off your body but be afraid of you smelling a little bad while we cuddle?” his shoulders drop as he looks up at you, head tilted, almost as if amused with the conversation, “What kind of man do you take me for?” 

“The kind that gets off on annoying me.” 

His jaw drops, putting on a fake look of offense before he dramatically throws himself back onto the bed, laying flat as he makes a fist to mimic stabbing his chest, “You wound me.”

You’ve heard those words a thousand times in a hundred different ridiculous voices. You’ve seen this scene enough to have it mesmerized at this point, down to the over-exaggerated pout of his lips and the lingering of the fist against his sternum. 

You never grow tired of it. You never will. 

“Need me to kiss it better?” you joke as you prop a knee up on the bed, following the same script as always. 

And he hits his queue perfectly when he lifts his head eagerly at the expected response, wiggling his brows a bit. “Absolutely. Doctor’s orders, in fact.” 

“Great,” you see an opportunity, and take it, “I’ll get right to it, after my showe-” 

You don’t even get the final syllable of the word off your tongue before he’s clenching his thighs around your own, knees pressing hard before he wraps his legs the rest of the way around your waist to pull you in. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as you begin to fall forward, but Eddie is quick to break the fall with ease. Catching you with his eager hands, maneuvering for you to half drop to the mattress while some of you still lands atop of him. 

He has you right where he wants you, turning his head to be face to face with you, noses nearly brushing, “Unfortunately, the doc said you have to kiss it better now, or else you’ll be comfy coffin shopping.” 

“A fatal wound?” you gasp, nearly mocking him. It doesn’t offend him – if anything, his boyish grin only grows wider, “First, I’m smelly-”

“Again, I like when you’re smelly.”

“-And then I inflict a fatal wound upon my lover? Oh, how dare I.”

Slowly, all your insecurity of how you currently smell is simply fading. The entire ordeal has become an art of childlike, whimsical jokes – and Eddie is an artist. A professional at the dance, locked and loaded with his incomparable skill set equipped for disarming you this way. The ability to make someone feel loved, imperfections and weirdness aside. 

He likes you, even when you claim you don’t smell your best. And you like him, even when his hair is tangled beyond recognition and one of his socks is half-hanging off his foot from a nap.

You like him when he’s embarrassing you in public, tongue chasing after you with the threat of licking your sweat away, and he likes you when all you can do in response is a weak palm to his chest (that isn’t even making an effort to push him away) as you giggle relentlessly. 

You like each other on the good days, the bad days, the weird days. 

Disarmed entirely, you don’t even notice when his face conveniently slots itself far too close to your armpit as you two scooch further up into the bed. You’re more occupied with the way your legs tangle up, toeing each other’s socks off properly as he slings a heavy arm across your torso. 

“We’re gonna have to wash the sheets,” you mumble, exhaustion catching up as the two of you finally settle. 

He hums absentmindedly, nuzzling into your skin a bit further as he makes himself comfortable. “And wash away your sweet, sweet stink? I don’t think so, sweetheart.” 

“Oh, fuck off,” you laugh, unbothered as your fingers start to trail up and down his back over the t-shirt, smoothing out wrinkles along the way, “I’m serious. We need to change them soon anyways, I think I got crumbs in the bed the other night with those crackers.” 

“Bury me in the crumbs of all your midnight snacks,” he almost slurs, clearly drifting back off. 

You snort in response, relaxing and letting your own eyes shut. Matching all your deep breaths with his own, a million different last words crossing your mind to whisper to the boy you’re sure is once again asleep. 

I love you.

I adore you. 

I would like to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. 

And maybe some of those unspoken thoughts slip out without you realizing, because he squeezes you just a little bit tighter, presses his face just a little bit deeper into your skin as his scruff tickles you. 

The only actual thought you can know for certain that you say, though, is, “Do you think they actually make coffins with memory foam inside?” 

To your surprise, even despite the almost-snores that had been escaping him, he answers in a heartbeat. 

“Oh, definitely. We’ll order two.”