#street sharking is not a crime

[chrissy-kaos]

That court fit.. about to go hurt this judge and DA’s feelings real quick 😂

[willtheweaver]

Ways to punish crimes that aren’t prison

• A society that doesn’t believe in prisons instead makes all offenders teach middle schoolers (the greater the crime, the longer they have to remain a teacher)

• “Your sentence will be commuted if you can survive listening to the High Priest’s five hour long lecture and sermon about worms, and his new tabletop game (don’t know how they are related, but whatever).”

• All criminals become game show contestants, and the only way to earn their freedom is to win.

• “It’s your choice. Two hours of either Nickleback, Baby Shark, or The Song that Never Ends.”

• Fate is left to the hands of the wheel of (mis)fortune

• All Karens are required to become retail workers for at least a year (cannot quit or intentionally get fired)

• Cut down a tree? Replant it. Illegally knock down a building? You have to rebuild it.

• Criminals must recite a poem about their crimes in the town square. The number of verses is equal to the severity of their crime.

• Can’t pay the fine? Become a street performer in order to pay off your debt.

•Congratulations! You are now in charge of the local animal shelter/ alms house.

Edit: Cannot believe I forgot this one: “The sentence is that you must write the book you’ve been putting off for years now. You must have the final draft completed before you can go free.”

[0mysticmidnight0]

~Mystically Broken AU - Chapter 1~

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You trembled as the taxi took you to a dark street, filled with crime. Robbery, Arson, right in the day light. You felt nervous. The taxi stopped at the tallest building. Once you left the taxi and entered the building, you turned around to glance at the Taxi, two people robbed the driver.. You hurried to your destination. You enter the Elevator, hopping nothing wrong happens.

~Flash Back~

You sat in your boss's office, expecting your paycheck for the month. She looked at you rather nervously. "As you know, our company has been slowly crumbling, we've been losing clients and we haven't been strengthening any business ties. Luckily! We have a few people wiling to help us, under a few conditions." You glanced at her nervously. "Who are these people exactly?" She gulped and looked away, She wasn't usually this cautious. You were worried. "You'll find out soon! They arranged a meeting for us to discuss the terms and conditions. You are coming with me since you are our top employee and one of our representatives!" She smiles enthusiastically. It felt odd, you wanted to know more about them. But you felt like she'd avoid the question. "That's great.." You smiled nervously. Why did your fellow representative have to be sick on THIS day?! You knew you should've spent more time in bed..

~Present~

You gulped as you tapped the button on the elevator. The top floor. The elevator door shut loudly. Who were these people? Why was this place so shady and creepy. You had the feeling that whoever your boss made a contract with isn't really a nice guy. The elevator made an abrupt stop as it opened. You walk out of the elevator and looked around. The floor was glass and it looked like an aquarium? You couldn't see any fish until you saw a.. robot shark.. then another and another.. The room was dimly lit and looked up to see the city's four most wanted criminals and your boss looking at you. "You made it!" your boss's voice muffled you were too in shock and you looked at the four criminals infront of you. "Let's get this over with, my time will not be wasted by your incompetence." Donatello, Mechanical genius, One of the smartest and deadly criminals due to his understanding of technology. He creates deadly weapons that cause mass destruction. it was rumored he uses petty criminals for his experiments.. Who am i kidding, he probably does. He glared you down like he couldn't tolerate your presence. "Donnie, stop your growling. You're gonna scare away the prey." Leonardo, One of if not the person with highest bodycount. He's killed hundreds, thousands to get what he wants. But he always manages to hide the evidence. One of the best Manipulaters. He's hard to catch, people say he just vanishes. He nudges his twin while laughing. He looks at you like he wanted to devour you whole. "Why don't you idiots shut up! Don't listen to them."

Raphael, a literal tank that could take hundreds of people at once. The strongest when it came to raw strength and battle strategy. If you ever cross him or do something that upsets him, prepare to deal with his terrible and DEADLY temper. He glared at Donatello and Leonardo as they shut their mouths. You hear a voice from behind you.. You gasped when you saw who it was. "Well, don't you look fun?"

MichelAngelo, The best at deceiving others and persuading them to do his bidding. He locks people up for fun and calls them his playthings. He kills anyone who steps in his way. He commits daily vandalism. He wouldn't kill anyone right away, he'd slowly drive them to the brink of insanity because it's fun to watch them fall apart. What had your boss gotten you into?! "Now, take a seat. Cynthia here tells us you have experience addressing crowds and dealing with rumors about your company. Dealing with any evidence regarding your companies misdeeds." It was true you were the one dealing with false rumors and false evidence.. That's how you became one of the representatives. But you had a gut feeling they were gonna take advantage of that. "I have been the one dealing with those issues but that was because they were mostly false! I can't defend something when i know it's wrong." You wanted to stand your ground. That was a bad choice. you turned to your side and gulp. There was a sword or katana.. an odachi. There was an odachi to your neck. "All of us have to do things we don't want to do to survive in this cruel world. Do as we say and we'll keep our end of the deal, alright?" Your boss, Cynthia just looks at you nervously, her gaze telling you to accept their condition. "Or we'll have to slowly destroy you one by one.. " His laugh echoing through the room. "Make this quick so i don't have to spend another moment with these imbeciles." you gulped and slowly nodded as you still felt the Odachi's sharp end to your throat. "We need you to destroy all criminal records. No matter how many times i delete it from the governments system, the people of new york still spread these awful rumors. who knew word of mouth could be so, infuriating. we need you to-"

"Ughh.. Donnie! English!" "Just get to the point already!" "I was JUST getting to that. We need you to accompany us to some governmental parties this year. They host four parties each year. One of us will accompany you and we need you to speak for us and claim our innocence." "But you aren't innocent! I-" You felt the Odachi go closer to your throat. "Hold your tongue." "Precisely, Complaints of the people to the government make us a target. So much so that they arranged an elite super force or a group of highly trained professionals after us." "We ain't getting anythin' done when we knows a buncha' creeps watchin' us!" "Do you think you can get the job done? It is pretty fun!" Your boss looked at you apologetically.

You nodded and the Odachi was pulled away and you took a sigh of relief.. What did you get yourself into.?

[amourlyns]

❛ HEY VENGEANCE. ❜ ➜ ⁽ masterlist ⁾

✧ 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕: in which the reader meets bruce wayne at a gala, the riddler is rampant in the city. and this gala is his next target. part one of two.

✧ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: mentions of alcohol consumption, and drugs. bruce is vv emotionally repressed, he’s got problems ok?

✧ 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔: 🦦 this is pattison’s batman influenced by matt reeves (the batman.) no use of y/n, pov switches to bruce twice in this fic. listen to 〞thank god for the rain 〞 by bernard herrman for ambiance.

⟡ ⠀ | Gotham is well (…) an odd city. An odd city with slick—tongued alley cats who roam and lurk at each corner, merging with the shadow and watching passerby dance and speak in hypnotic tongues.

You liked to call it the Gotham effect, it comes with the city of sin and crime. It’s odd, like you stated before. There’s the occasional glitz and glamor of wealthy Gothamites, galas laced with cocaine pearls and wine filled bottles (…)

Accompanied by champagne flutes and hors d’oeuvre’s to indulge in for the night.

And within this false sense of normalcy and entitlement, there’s the night. The Gotham better known for its crime and vigilantes. You see, everyone in Gotham is acting. The key to understanding it all in Gotham is the rhythm.

The people are the rhythm, the day is the rhythm. The night is the rhythm. And within this element of rhythmic chaos, there’s always something lurking. Watching the city underneath light polluted skies and charcoal clouds. When the smog seems to clog up your lungs and choke your breathing, there’s always something else to worry about.

The Batman, of course.

If anything, he highlights what Gotham is at the core. A broken city, deeply scarred and angry. Scratching at its surface to be heard. To be healed. Has Gotham always been seeking justice and light? Or is it seeking something much more carnal and sinister (…) Vengeance? A certain greed?

Whatever it was, it spoke to Gothamites. Hate the Bat, or love the Bat. He spoke for the city of Gotham, and he would always be there at every corner, watching.

Gotham is sick and venal.

You hope for the day of a real rain to come and wash off the scum from the streets. For now, it’s the Bat who takes care of the illness. Could 〞 it 〞 save Gotham?

Maybe.

It’s silly thought anyways, Gotham has been plagued with crime for decades. Some masked vigilante wouldn’t be able to stop that regardless. The thought is flimsy and useless. Something made out of hope and optimism, the kind of thing you consume in dreams. Not only that, but the Batman is more of a fable, a myth.

Besides, there was no use in consuming yourself with thoughts of Gotham and its nightly specter. For now, you’re here, at another Gala— with the same diluted faces and the same twisted smiles. Then night moves on in an odd distorted way, a blur even.

The man who snaps you out of this daze is Bruce Wayne. Gotham’s Prince, the man of the hour. You could only wonder what caused this recluse to emerge out of the manor he calls home. Unlike other notable people in Gotham, Bruce Wayne chooses to live a quiet life shrouded in mystery.

When he does remove himself from the confines of the manor, and the tabloids simply go into a frenzy. Like sharks during a feeding. It feels like everyone in Gotham wanted a piece of Bruce Wayne. Craving a flesh they surely don’t deserve.

Something tells you to draw closer to the oddity, like this would be the only time you’d be able to lay your eyes on Bruce Wayne in the flesh. So, you might as well take the opportunity to really take him all in.

Wayne eventually loses the limelight. The audience dies and you decide to pass through the sea of bodies that separate you two. He notices this of course, ever so vigilant. Some part of you expects him to flee and avoid the confrontation all together. Wary hues remain fixated on your figure slipping through the crowd.

Surely he isn't waiting (…) Right ?

Apparently he wasn’t, not like you knew of course. Bruce Wayne was a hard man to decipher after all, you couldn't tell if something compelled him to stay or if that kept him still.

For the first time tonight, you're accompanied by someone else. It'd off to say the least, Bruce is certainly a presence to behold, sure. But he wouldn't even spare a glance at you, you gaze eventually follows his line of sight.

Now? Now, all eyes are set on beacon in the sky now. The symbol of the night.

Batman is called by the city tonight, needed in the shadows once more. You could only wonder what for. You’re not one for new and tabloids but, there has been some discussion about the 〞 Riddler. 〞

Gotham’s newest deranged lunatic villain.

The man was terrifying, you’ve seen the footage. You've seen the terror and heard the screams. So how was the Batman going to save the city now? The thought of Gotham coming to its own demise (…) it was bound to, the city hasn’t had hope in a long time. You knew that very well.

Now what was he thinking? Did the Wayne believe in the Bat? In Vengeance, and his own crusade. Before you can even ask the question, he’s turning away. Maybe he’s had enough of your company for tonight.

❛ MISTER WAYNE, WAIT. Before you go, I’m just (…) curious about this one thing━━ IT’S THIS (…) BAT. VENGEANCE, do you really think he can protect the city ? Save Gotham ? His motives just seem so unclear. He’s menacing, almost reminds me of the Riddler. It’s all about vengeance, no ? Whether it’s about the city or people who’ve wronged you. ❜

Bruce does not turn back around to face you, instead he turns his head. Adjusting his gaze to you and the symbol in the night, it shifts. Once, twice than thrice. His face is unreadable. Typical.

He wants to speak, you know that much. Yet he doesn’t, for whatever reason. Bruce chooses to stare right through you.

You let him.

He doesn’t owe you a response, you know that much. Before you know it, he’s gone.

𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙲𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚈𝙽𝙴’𝚂 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝚅𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙶𝙰𝙻𝙰. A FEW HOURS BEFORE YOUR ENCOUNTER (…)

⟡ ⠀ | THE CITY IS QUIET TONIGHT. Unlike any another night, the city streets are deserted, emptied if you will. It’s all because of the recent attacks by the Riddler. There’s a few stranglers of course, sticking near the shaded roads and corners.

There’s a gala tonight, Alfred informed me on that. He wanted to me to attend because I needed to 〞 maintain 〞 my appearances for the sake of my family’s reputation and legacy. I only agreed because it would be the perfect opportunity to watch the city through civilian eyes. And give me an advantage.

The suit is less than ideal. Tight, stuffy and constricting.

Alfred is in the middle of fixing my tie when he tells me I look like my father.

I do not reply to that.

I stare into the mirror. Taking the time to analyze my polished appearance, Alfred fixes my tie and hands me my father’s cuff links once more. Now he’s watching me closely, too closely. Like I’ll break and shatter because he mentioned my father.

My face must’ve given my thoughts away, Alfred is quick to place his hand on my shoulder. Giving it a squeeze. My eyes dart between his hand and his face.

There’s that (…) sympathy again, or was it regret? Sometimes the two emotions blur and mix, all into one.

I should be kinder to Alfred.

If I could vocalize it, I would. But it comes out all raw, sore and achy. Like I’m forcing the kindness out of me. If only I could— could verbalize this gratitude. I would—

My chest throbs at the guilt. I grimace. Alfred seems to get it somehow, he can see the apology in my eyes. He lets me go for the time being, I insist to drive myself. He obliges.

The arrival is dreadful. The lights are too bright and there’s too many eyes on me. Voices ring out, calling out my name— Gothams Prince, Wayne, Mister Wayne, Bruce Wayne. They chant to me. The media swarms me like flies, and questions flood after.

I hardly keep my head above the water, I’m practically drowning. The only thing that keeps me going is that light in the sky.

The signal.

The media disperses, shifting towards the beacon of light that brands the sky tonight. From my peripheral view, I see something moving closer to me. Slipping through the sea of people. Their destination is to me. My gaze remains fixated on the bat-signal.

I have to go.

The figure besides me shifts, eyeing me down every now and then. I decide to take my leave.

❛ ❛ MISTER WAYNE, WAIT. Before you go, I’m just (…) curious about this one thing━━ IT’S THIS (…) BAT. VENGEANCE, do you really think he can protect the city ? Save Gotham ? His motives just seem so unclear. He’s menacing, almost reminds me of the Riddler. It’s all about vengeance, no ? Whether it’s about the city or people who’ve wronged you. ❜ ❜

Their words capture me for a few moments. I still. Letting the words settle into my mind. I can’t find it in me to look at them.

WHEN I LEAVE, it seems like the city mocks me. It feels like the rain corrodes my kevlar. The frigid rain seems to sink through bone marrow and nip away at skin. There’s a ferocious wind in Gotham tonight, the rain drenches everything in a torrential downpour.

Storm drains are filled and plugged, creating miniature oceans in the road.

When I arrive, the commissioner informs me on the recent developments of the Riddler. He has plans for tonight, and another letter written for me.

An explosion goes off that night.

[bubuslutty]

pirate!captain Price au

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none. pretty sfw

a/n: im so in love with him it's pathetic. that's all I have to say

I need pirate!Captain Price.

I need him smoking with his foot propped up on the edge of his ship, the wind making his long coat dance in the wind.

I need him to stroke his beard while listening to whatever poor excuse someone gives him while owing him money before he orders his boys to tie them up and throw them to the sharks.

I need him to be ruthless with a soft spot for the misfits and orphans, more than often giving money to the beggars when he thinks no one is looking.

I need him to be a huge tease and start trimming his beard with his knife, or sword when someone’s boring him with loads of bullshit.

I need him to kiss a Lady breathless right before he jumps out of her window after he and his boys just robbed them of their riches.

I need him to place his hat on his face and take a nap on his hammock, snoring loudly away while his boys are daring each other to jump naked in the cold sea.

I need him to be so confident in himself and his skills, but not feel the need to prove it to anyone. He can take up anyone in a fight and win. He could have chugged 4 pints and was a bit wobbly on his feet, but as soon as he has his gun or sword in his hand, he never misses. Or heck, even his own fists could kill a man even if he was drunk, with pink cheeks, glassy eyes and all.

He’s fast, rude and absolutely despised by the Royal Navy. He’s been caught a couple of times and thrown in prison so he could be hung for his crimes, but he managed to escape every time. And when he didn’t, he would be standing in the middle of a clearing, waiting to be hung when his boys come out of nowhere, raining bullets and fire on the Navy, rescuing their Captain like they’ve done it a million times before. And the only reason he allowed himself to stay in the hands of the Navy for that long is because his boys begged him to let them rescue him, because according to their words, “It’d be fun."

I need pirate!Captain Price to be loved by pub owners and whores. Because not only is he generous when it comes to paying for everyone’s food and drinks, he’s generous in giving out as many orgasms as his partner for the night wants. He would treat the whores like Ladies, even though they won’t consider themselves anything close to high-class proper Lady. And when everyone’s satiated and drowsy, Price makes sure to leave a hefty amount of money under their pillow before he leaves.

Pirate!Captain Price who wouldn’t want to settle down any time soon, who feels more comfortable in constantly moving around and being surrounded by his boys, who’re practically his family. He feels like he’s meant to be some sort of shepherd to those who the streets treat unkindly. He’d rather offer a job to someone than see them lost in the streets, with no one to rely on. So he’s some sort of Robin Hood in his own ways.

And when fate finally slaps him across the face with love, it happens in the most unexpected ways. It happens on a random Monday, Gaz shouts that there’s another ship not far off on the East and everyone gets ready to attack it. When they do attack the ship, swinging abroad and scaring the crewmate shitless, John finds himself in the middle of a wedding, a bride, groom, guests and the priest about to make them say their vows.

And everyone is obviously terrified, but John’s no cruel man, he can’t ruin a poor couple’s special day, so he thinks about leaving until he meets the bride’s eyes. She was pretty, oh so pretty all dressed in white lace and pearls, but she also looked terrified, hands trembling on her sides and he understands, she was scared for her life. John glances at his boys and tells them to leave without saying a word, and then he notices the tables with wine and champagne, and John has to have a sip or bottle, doesn’t matter.

And that’s how he makes the biggest mistake ever, he walks to the front, where the couple was frozen along with the priest with the table to their left, and really, why put the drinks at the front? Why not at the back? But John doesn’t care to think too much of it, he ignores an old woman flinching and slapping a hand over her mouth and he hums, picks a flute of champagne, and their biggest, most expensive bottle of wine.

Right as his lips were about to touch the edge of the flute, he sees a blur of ivory white in the corner of his eyesight, and everything happens so fast that he failed to stop the bride from grabbing his sword right under his nose. John meets her eyes and it was the first time he truly felt scared for his life, her eyes were dark and absolutely furious and he thought that was it, he was about to die by the feet of a priest and groom, stabbed to death by the prettiest bride he’s ever seen, truly an Angel sent down to pierce his heart and make him bleed for all of his sins.

But she doesn’t stab him.

Instead, she buries the sword in her groom’s heart and the ship erupts in horrified gasps and screams. John watches in real time how the priest faints and how the groom meets his bride’s eyes, unable to breathe while his clothes are getting soaked in pure red at a concerning speed. He curses her out and John is so lost, what the fuck did just happen?

And it seemed like that was not all because the bride is panting and had a wild look on her face, and she turns to someone in the crowd, screaming at the top of her lungs, “I TRUSTED YOU!”

John looks at the crowd and quickly sees an older woman with a guilty and terrified look on her face, hm, must be her mother, same eyes and hair. Then the click of a gun somehow reaches John’s ears in the chaos and he sees a man lift his gun, pointing it towards the bride, and John realises it’s the poor bloke’s father who the bride just killed. John’s hands drop the bottle, the liquid staining his clothes and he grabs the bride without thinking, he throws her over his shoulder and snatches back his sword and jumps out of the window, landing on his ship.

And he doesn’t have to say anything before his boys steer his ship away and they sail as fast and as far as the wind carries them, away from the mess the bride left behind. Well, she wasn't a bride anymore, was she?

When John’s senses catch up with his reality, he finds himself hovering over the bride, her see-through veil still draped over her angelic face, doing nothing to hide her wild eyes as she stared at John, chest heaving up and down. And he was still clutching onto his sword, the blade bloody and warm, matching the same colour of the wine that was now staining his trousers.

What did I just do?

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[docgold13]

Heroes & Villains The DC Animated Universe - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Derek Powers 

A corporate shark of the highest order, Derek Powers would stop at nothing to become the most successful businessman out there.  He ran Powers Technology and attempted on numerous occasions to take over Wayne Enterprises.  Bruce Wayne had long since stepped away from the company and once Luscious Fox retired, Powers finally had the votes needed to orchestrate a merger, creating the conglomerate, Wayne-Powers with Powers himself as the chief executive officer.  

Wayne-Powers would go on to branch into multiple fields, absorbing numerous smaller companies and making Powers incredibly wealthy and powerful.  

In his unhinged efforts to augment his wishes and influences, Powers began to focus on weapons manufacturing, specifically biological agents to be sold to overseas entities.  Herein, Powers had his scientists cultivate a deadly, mutagenic nerve toxin.  In order to test this toxin, Powers arranged for an employee to be infected, making it look like an accidental leak.

Dying from the infection, the employee managed to smuggle out information on what Powers was up to, passing it along to Warren McGinnis.  Powers was aware that McGinnis had this information and he had his agent murder McGinnis and stage the scene so that it appeared a random crime perpetrated by the street gang known as The Jokerz.  

Warren’s teenage son, Terry, looked into his father’s murder, an investigation that ultimately led him to Bruce Wayne and resulted in the youth taking on the mantle of the new Batman.  As Batman, Terry was able to break up Powers’ scheme and prevent the sale of the biological weapon.  In the ensuing fracas, Powers was exposed to a lethal dosage of the nerve toxin.

Powers was rushed into treatment and bombarded with mutagenic radiation in hopes of counteracting the toxin.  The process succeeded in saving Powers life yet left him gravely transformed.  He was changed into a living dynamo of radioactivity with translucent skin.   Somehow he was able to evade prosecution and remained the CEO of Wayne-Powers.  Yet his condition continued to worsen and his efforts to reverse it all failed.  He slowly descended into madness and the super villain known as Blight.

Actor Sherman Howard provided the voice for Derek Powers, with the nemesis first appearing in the debut episode of Batman Beyond.   

[brokehorrorfan]

Created in the wake of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Street Sharks was an animated series and toy line about crime-fighting man-shark hybrids that aired from 1994 to 1997.

In honor of the 30th anniversary, Mattel is releasing 6" action figures of Slash (with drilling action), Ripster (with punching action), and Jab (with head-butt action). Priced at $25, each toy comes with a shark cage. They're expected to ship in July.

[klbwriting]

Broken Prism

Chapter 16

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Toddxfemale!Reader

Warnings: none, just a hint of violence

Summary: Jason and YN have settled into the Batfamily, but things never stay nice in Gotham

The heat in Gotham in mid-July was the worst. The pavement was sticky, the city smelled rank and it made having to walk around all day the worst experience possible. That was why so many people saved their outings until after dark. And that’s what you did also. You needed to meet a contact about Joker. He was still in Arkham but there were rumblings that Harley Quinn was resurfacing after her escape from Blackgate in early June. Your contact was supposed to meet you at the docks around 11PM, and it was still in the upper 80s with no breeze. The river looked refreshing honestly and you understood for a moment why Killer Croc would want to stay underwater all the time. It was 11:30 at the moment and you were about to give up when someone climbed out of the water.

“King Shark?” you said, having not expected that at all. “You said your name was Nan.”

“My name is Nanaue so I told the truth,” he said. You let out a nervous breath, not exactly a fan of all those teeth and being alone. “Are you Lady Red?” You nodded, still pleased with the name you and Jason had come up with to keep your name off the street as much as possible. He wasn’t going to want you out there fighting crime in a cape yet, but you could do your job and hopefully keep your real name and where you lived under wraps.

“You have information on Harley for me?” you asked. He nodded. “What do you want in exchange?”

“Nothing, Harley is my friend and I want you to stop looking for her. She is with us now, she does not like Joker anymore,” he said. You nodded.

“So, she’s not planning to break him out of Arkham?” you confirmed, and the shark shook his head. “Good, thank you.”

“Tell your friend he should take a shower, I can smell him from here,” the shark said before diving back into the river. You laughed out loud at that, turning and looking towards the nearby warehouse where you knew Jason was hiding, watching.

“Well, that was rude,” he said into the communicator you had in your ear. You laughed even more. “Do you think he’s lying about Harley?” You could hear the nervousness in his voice. He still had nightmares about Joker, you heard him across the hall crying out sometimes and had one more than one occasion run into his room and climbed in next to him, letting him curl around you as he listened to your heartbeat to fall back asleep.

“I normally can tell if people are lying, but he is a giant shark so it’s a little harder to tell, but I think he was telling the truth,” you said. King Shark’s voice has been even, his eyes focused on you, not skirting around. “I’m going to head down to the Diamond District, I need to visit CADMUS. You can go back to your own thing; I don’t think a scientist is going to kidnap me.”

“I’m sorry have you met most of the scientists in this city? They’re the worst,” Jason answered. “But I do have to get moving, Penguin is trying to run some guns through East End and well, I need some more guns.” You rolled your eyes, climbing into the McLaren you so desperately loved to steal from Bruce’s garage.

“Yes, more guns, Bruce will love that,” you said. You heard him laugh and smiled. “Did you show him those new designs you were working on?” He didn’t answer. “Red, your designs are good and they would help you be less lethal, which we all know he will love, and you should also show him your updates to the exploding gel.” You heard him clear his throat. “Ok, I’ll stop, see you at home later Hoodie.” You took the communicator from your ear and drove off towards CADMUS.

Jason heard you disconnect, not being able to stop the smile that appeared when you said you would see him at home. He didn’t exactly know how or when it happened, but he had a home and a family again. He was even on decent terms with Tim, though he wasn’t telling anyone that yet. Even Bruce had taken him back to the basketball court to see how he did, and he was pleased to say he won that round of 1-on-1. And YN, she had made everything come together, held him together, even when he was about to fall apart. The nightmares didn’t stop, and sometimes even the coping skills that Dr. Thompkins was teaching him in their sessions wasn’t even to keep the sound of laughter and screeching metal at bay in his mind, but he was having more good days than bad now. It was refreshing and freeing.

He dropped down to the ground from the warehouse and hopped on his bike, heading towards East End to deal with Penguin and get himself some new guns. He was just crossing over into East End when he saw too late the spike strips across the darkened alley. He tired to veer but they bike hit them, tires bursting and sending him and the bike spinning out. He slid on the pavement, lucky for his armor and helmet or he would have been torn to shreds. He still felt the pain of impact but thought he was safe from most of the damage. He jumped up, ready to attack when he felt the bat to his back. He spun, guns aimed and fired at the retreating attacker. What the hell? He looked around, watching as dozens of guys walked out of the surrounding buildings. And there on the fire escape was Penguin.

“I see you got my invitation,” he said. Jason didn’t respond but saw what was going on. The gun run was a ruse and he had fallen for it. “Your men are dead, I already had them thrown into the river. You on the other hand, you are a bigger problem.”

“I’ve heard that before,” Jason snarked, watching around him for someone to make the first move.

“Ya, well, it's time I deal with you. Go ahead boys, have fun, but I want him alive,” Penguin said, waving his hand and disappearing back into the building. They descended and Jason knew, even as he fought and clawed and shot and stabbed, that he didn’t have a chance.

By the time Tim responded to the tracker alarm Jason had activated all that was left in the alley was his guns and a torn-up leather jacket covered in blood.

[shadowsageingempress]

Florida Man Challenge: Final Fantasy VII Edition

(Note: These headlines do not line up with the characters or my opinion of them. I just did this for fun. Additionally, some of the birthdays are based solely on headcanon and will be marked as such with *)

Cloud Strife, August 11: Florida Man stole forklift, pickup, four-wheeler (and more) in 'impressive crime spree,' deputies say

Tifa Lockhart, May 3: Florida Man invites police to smoke pot while showing off his marijuana plant

Barret Wallace, December 15: Florida Man high on flakka rams car into jail to 'visit friends'

Aerith Gainsborough, February 7: Florida Man accused of hiding marijuana in box of Valentine's Day chocolates

Yuffie Kisaragi, November 20: Florida Man tries to evade police by 'playing Frogger' across busy highway

Vincent Valentine, October 13: Florida Man accused of forcing small alligator to drink beer

Cid Highwind, February 22: Florida Man throws toilet through School Board building window in Illinois

Zack Fair, August 19*: Florida Man arrested after allegedly shoving steaks worth more than $50 down his pants

Angeal Hewley, January 1: Florida Man who attacked McDonald’s worker over straw sentenced to jail

Genesis Rhapsodis, December 13: Florida Man who ran naked through airport screaming about a bomb sentenced to probation

Sephiroth Crescent, December 21*: Florida Man caught on video beating shark with a hammer

(author's note: the shark survived and was released back into the ocean)

Lucrecia Crescent, July 22: Florida Man shoots stepdaughter's boyfriend with shotgun

Weiss, October 2*: Florida Man drinks goat blood in ritual sacrifice, runs for senate

Nero, September 25*: Naked Florida Man outside Chick-Fil-A arrested for trying to fight passersby

Shelke Rui, January 26: Florida Man named ‘Paramedic of the Year’ accused of helping steal Covid-19 vaccines

Honorable Mentions:

12/15 Florida Man throws Christmas tree at wife after food fight

2/7 Florida Man steals car; train sends it crashing into house

2/7 Florida Man accused in plot to attack power grid, illegal street racing

10/13: Florida Man claims he killed, dismembered roommate because he was possibly 'next mass murderer,' cops say

7/22, Watch: Florida Man head-butts bus, loses

9/25 Florida Man throws bicycle, then other man off bridge

[alittlebirb]

Some stuff and nonsense from the MCC Pride 22 Yellow Yaks!

CPK and Oli hanging out in order to record the event

Shubble being unsure whether Grian is alive while they wait for him to show signs of presence

Scott reassuring his chat that Owenge is in fact a streamer too, and not a random man he pulled off the street to watch him play MCC!

Grian decreeing that they have the "world's strongest Build Mart team!"

Grian freaking out that he's "forgotten all of Pete's training already!" at the start of Grid Runners.

"Grian's just gonna ragdoll and see where he lands, it's like in Gangbeasts." -Scott

"Pete's gonna be so proud of me, figuring out strategy!" -Grian

The gang deciding on positioning and Gem calling herself "Basement Girl."

Gem then promoting herself to "Ground Floor Girl".

Scott making a clock and everyone around him throwing redstone at him, just in case

Grian falling behind and running towards the exit door and everyone cheering him on, semi sarcastically

"You're doing amazing sweetie!" -Scott

"C'mon, emotional support straight!" -Gem

The bakery being so depleted from all the players devouring the cake supply that now they're just asking for them to make cakes for them, please

None of the builders being able to figure out the redstone for the final room right away

Everyone being so conditioned from previous GRs that they have to reload their definition of "beasts" for the chicken room

New drinking game! Take a drink every time Grian mentions his favorite MCC buddy Pete! It's happened 3 times so far!

Grian watching the Simmers do the redstone room and just saying "redstone is hard..."

Everyone getting so invested in Blue that they start shouting at the screen

"Grian has like, PTSD from being one coin behind in a Pride MCC." -Scott

Gem disappointingly saying they didn't get cosmetics this time, just breakfast...

Grian relating how one time he went to a US restaurant and ordered a child-sized serving of pancakes, and he had "far too many left over!"

"CHILDREN, HOW MANY PANCAKES ARE YOU EATING??" -Grian

Gem waiting to see when Grian would see the rainbow chicken in the cosmetics section and holding a running bet with her chat

Grian admitting he doesn't watch the update videos, getting lambasted by Scott, and demanding "I didn't start my stream until 8 minutes after the event, you think I have my life together??"

"My content is so poor that my cat can't even stand it!" -Grian

Scott lamenting that he can't call people hitting him a hate crime this time around, because almost everyone is queer!

"How can I weaponize my sexuality now??" -Scott

The Pridebowl PKT map being inspired by a League of Legends piece of art in which the flags were incorporated throughout the background

"Gimme some 🌶 spicy 🌶 callouts!" -Gem about PKT

Gem carrying the second round against Lime!

Everyone being terrified of Jojo hunting them

"I was humbled by that other team because I couldn't catch them." -Shubble as hunter

Gem suddenly becoming British while complaining about PKT?

"I like being British!" -Gem

Scott saying that Vixella "appeared below me like a shark hunting her prey!"

Grian admiring how good Zeuz is

Grian getting mixed up with Shubble and Gem's names many many times

"One of the girls!" -Shubble

"There's no way I should be alive right now, just so you're aware!" -Scott, fighting for his life against TapL

Scott somehow winning against TapL, getting in his head, and everyone surviving that round??

"Just so everyone knows, I have physically peaked tonight! Whether I go home with a coin or not, I've won!" -Scott

Scott then ascending in the decision dome, and being forced to give his Love Bow to Shubble

"Someone in my chat said <he's becoming gay god>. That, contrasted with another saying <he's being abducted>" -Scott

Scott calling the SG remix Pokémon!

Gem and Shelby being on the same wavelength today, The Girls™

Yellow being sacrificed for the Greater Gays in SG

Shubble reassuring everyone to not let it get to them, and Grian responding "it's gotten to me already! It's sitting on my spine!"

Scott and Shubble cheering on The Girls, and Scott saying that Jojo can make it solo, she doesn't have "solos" in her name for no reason

Scott trying to spectate Kara and continuously getting doors shut in his face

"This is very rude." -Scott

Grian warning Shubble "if you're a runner in Build Mart, our friendship might be on the line."

"I am no longer sure." -Shubble

"During Build Mart, our friendship goes into a little box. Afterwards it comes back out." -Grian

Everyone gathering and ascending into the flamingo together

The BB map only half loading, and Scott calling it a trust fall experience

Everyone planning to ride Grian during Terra Swoop Force in TGTTOS

Shubble and Geminislay carrying in the first round of BB!

"I really need to learn how to pvp." -Grian (please, sir)

"I killed Jojo, so it's like the equivalent of killing Dream, right?" -Grian

"I lost my plot armor, Dream killed me." -Grian

"It's fine Grian, it's non canon! It's the equivalent of another universe in comics!" -Scott

"I hit a man!" -Gem

Scott going out against Pink in a kamikaze potion of harming

"You get style points for that one." -Grian

Scott getting an ace against Orange! He's a PVP god!

"Grian's like, I aged 13 years, just in these last few games." -Scott

Grian and Scott both getting 420 coins in BB! Ayyyyy!

Grian scheduling himself to go to Ghana, and getting a little nervous about meeting with Nana and the village, as he is "a socially anxious man who has spent his mid 20's behind a computer screen".

Grian rambling about editing and his videos during the break so long that he completely forgets to get his anticipated glass of water

Everyone responding "Aye aye Captain!" to Grian directing in BM

Y'all I'm actually just watching in awe with my jaw dropped while Yellow absolutely dominates BM. I'm so impressed. They didn't move from first place ONCE.

Scott talking about how he and Shubble always hold hands during SOT

"I smell. I didn't smell before this, but now I smell." -Grian

Gem deciding she'd going to punch and be a menace this TGTTOS, and everyone telling her it's fine, it's non canon, it won't hurt her vibe.

Wilbur joining the vc on Shubble's account and talking with Grian and Gem during AR, because he heard "it's Ace Race time."

"Scott sounds a little different." -Gem

Wilbur beginning his AR podcast in his "sensual voice" with Grian and Gem listening in shocked horror while he talks about "doing" her, how he's "a bit of a demon" with both AR and SOT, discusses the intimate workings of his complex relationship, and him and Grian agreeing to both put each other down for teams next MCC

Shubble giving her account to Wilbur for AR, and Scott giving his account to Owen, saying if Owen gets top 3 he'll donate 1000 pounds (he did)

Gem getting her best AR performance yet with Wilbur in her ear

"I just want Wilbur to know that my chat did not enjoy that. He was talking to Ace Race, but it was a little bit charged." -Grian

"When the wall says Gay, you shout Gay!" -Scott about HITW

Gem and Scott missing the yellow platforms this time around, while Shubble is glad to have the HITW she knows and loves back

"Yellow! That's...the color of the wall. I'm not speaking again." -Shubble

Everyone calling the Green wall "Grian, Grian, Grian."

"Shelby it's Hole In The Wall, not Ace In The Wall, so you had your game." -Scott

Shelby tragically dying to a zombie and saying "that's it, I'm getting toxic with my eggs now."

"Noo there's so many mobs!" -Gem

"You're welcome!" -Scott

Grian winning the second round and SCREAMING into the mic!

"Grian is reaching octaves previously unknown to man!" -Scott

"Grian just picks a new game each MCC to pop off this time." -Scott after Grian gets in the top 5 players of HITW

"When the stars align, I'll pop off in every game!" -Grian

Scott introducing everyone to the Hard Button™ in Terra Swoop Force

The NPCs in TGTTOS being the straight MCC players

Scott and Shubble getting into a cycle of getting on top of each other

"Me and Shelby keep mounting each other!" -Scott

Owen and Scott reading out Gumi's message demanding which "BOOT LICKING BEAN SLURPING FELLAS" HIT HER in tandem

Owen encouraging Scott to be nice, and then watching him get hit and doing a heel turn straight into KILL THE MAN

Everyone continuously mourning that if they'd just gotten a normal Survival Games...

Geminislay carrying TGTTOS!

Scott and Gem getting wings, becoming " a gay butterfly" and "a pride fairy!"

Shubble and Scott calling for donations to them, two gays

"They say charity starts at home, and home is me!" -Scott

Shubble breathing heavily and murmuring "Let us in." about 20v20 DB

Grian asking "is this what is was like to watch me?" during Red's 1v3

Grian taking a moment to address this one guy Brady in the chat who has been consistently asking how Maui and Pearl are doing the entire tournament, and saying "they're doing great, they're my cats, they're all cute and snuggly!"

Gem just admiring her pride wings and comparing them to her Empires wings

Grian killing his one-sided arch nemesis, Zeuz, in the 20v20

"I ate it." -Grian after dying

"That one almost came for me, I felt it on my chin!" -Shubble

Shubble almost rounding out her MCC story by doing a Shubble once again in the 20v20, but losing to Jacksepticeye

"He's an ally, he's carrying a gay!" -Scott about Grian's gay chicken buddy

Yellow Yaks finished MCC Pride 22 in 4th place!

[yandere-toons]

Mr Wolf, Mr Snake, Mr Piranha, Mr Shark, Ms Tarantula

Platonic & Romantic Headcanons – Yandere

WARNING: violence, reference to death, implied stalking + cyberstalking, psychological manipulation, toxic mindsets.

A.N. - Yippee-Ki-Yay.

PLATONIC:

Each member of this criminal gang thinks of themselves as the unspoken favourite, and their methods for proving it can either work well together or end in chaos. Ms Tarantula crashes a stock market of their friend's choosing while Mr Shark hands them a push pop so they can cool off and watch Wall Street panic at the same time.

The real conflict begins with Mr Piranha dubbing himself the favourite as soon as their friend says anything positive about him, which is seen as a challenge by Mr Wolf, who steps in to call himself the favourite because he introduced the friend to the rest of the group.

Mr Snake broods in the background of most of these contests, only getting involved when one of his teammates or the fighting itself is hijacking his time with their friend. He seizes the opportunity to ask them if they want to hunt guinea pigs together and deliberately chooses a spot far away from the other members.

The rest of the crew finds him anyway thanks to Ms Tarantula's skills in tracking their friend through surveillance cameras. If anyone doubts him, Snake blames the guinea pigs for running away instead of admitting that he did not want any chance of someone else coming along.

Mr Wolf enjoys prying into their friend's personal life and making jokes about the information he receives to ease suspicions. It is his way of being prepared for anything that they may say or do to get out of a job, and if he catches them in a lie, Mr Wolf exposes it where his comrades can listen and add to the peer pressure.

Even though Mr Piranha and Mr Shark tend to trust their friend without much difficulty, Mr Snake is a cynic. Plus, Ms Tarantula has their personal information on file, so she can fact-check any story they give.

If their friend is seeking to deny any involvement with the crew, its members conspire to make this as difficult as possible. Mr Wolf tosses a stolen pearl to them from the window of the escape car, Piranha does not stop waving until the car turns the corner, and Tarantula probes the traffic cameras to plan each crime around when they will be present.

Shark chats about life with their friend when he is supposed to be undercover or on the lookout for security, which results in a balagan on the comms as half the team tells Shark to focus and the other half asks questions about what their friend is doing.

Snake is of the mind that their mutual friend should be the one reaching out to him, but he will not be stopped by police sirens or a blaring alarm when he has something to say to them.

He is rather mean-spirited, especially when he feels betrayed, so Mr Snake is not above public humiliation by way of tossing a piece of evidence at them that places them under the glaring eye of the law.

Crushing their reputation until they have to resort to crime to pay the bills is his fallback plan, one that his teammates come to support before Mr Wolf has a change of heart.

ROMANTIC:

Despite his cantankerous attitude towards their partner interacting with people outside of the crew, Snake is ready to threaten and bully whoever fails to give them what he considers their due.

Piranha is equally poised to attack others for doubting their partner and evoking any kind of negative emotion in them. However, Piranha's impulsiveness and Snake's hostility have led to many unnecessary fights and close calls.

A common situation would involve this: Snake eats someone for jaywalking in front of their friend's car and nearly causing them to crash. Piranha cheers for him in the background, while Mr Shark performs the Heimlich maneuver on Snake to force him to cough up the latest victim.

Mr Wolf then charms their way out of another attempted murder charge, schmoozing any witnesses and first responders just long enough for Tarantula to wipe the camera footage.

Piranha believes they are privy to his inner thoughts and assumes that anything they say or do in his presence is directed at him. He either forgets or does not understand why this may affect how they react to him sprinting at them with a handful of flowers still wet from the vase he broke.

Along with Mr Wolf, Mr Piranha is the type who likes to take the microphone from Tiffany Fluffit and repeat a special message to their partner on national television while bags of stolen money are draped over his back and Mr Snake is shouting at him to get in the car.

Governor Foxington condemns the Bad Guys' actions in public, but in private, she advises Mr Wolf to stop the chase and argues that he and his team are jeopardising their own redemptions.

While their partner is swimming in bad publicity and cannot turn the TV on without hearing Rupert Marmalade bash them for being an alleged accomplice to the Bad Guys, Mr Wolf holds a team meeting.

He discusses how to win their partner's loyalty and takes suggestions that include everything from bribing them with gold bars to robbing their place of employment until they seek alternative work.

The bait is taken in an unexpected way when Chief Luggins jumps at the obvious connection and issues an APB on their partner, charging them with conspiracy to commit grand theft and calling for their arrest.

Piranha and Shark are infuriated by the news and start plotting an explosive jailbreak within seconds of hearing it, but Wolf and Tarantula urge their teammates to pursue more subtle methods. Snake is bitter about the fact that their partner has not officially joined the team and suggests that the crew should let them rot in a cell for a few days.

Do anything you want with my work, but never make me boring!

[chrissy-kaos]

Welp.. I done fucked up. I went out with Finn street sharking🦈 and hit a new high score with tickets 😂

“Street sharking is not a crime”

[littleequinn]

Here Now

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒆𝒚 𝑸𝒖𝒊𝒏𝒏 𝒙 𝑩𝒂𝒃𝒚 𝑹𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒓)

𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐞- 1-3

𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫- 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐧

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰- 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐧

~

After the events of season 1. Harley Quinn found you on the streets of Arkham trying to scrounge up as much food and water as you could. She at first payed no mind to it thinking you were just another average person that got fucked over from everything Joker did but when she examined you more she saw the red pacifier in your backpack pocket.

Harley offered to take her in and be her temporary caregiver and let the girl come with her to get a nice meal and a place to stay. The little just craving a mother figure and to be out of the scary streets accepted her offer without a second thought. Everyone seemed to love their new addition and promised to protect her. Harley didn't even have to tell everyone she was a little because Psycho (Being the snoopy bitch he is) read her mind and picked up on things like.

'𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑚𝑎 𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ'

'𝑀𝑎𝑚𝑎 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑠ℎ𝑒'𝑑 𝑔𝑒𝑦 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑎 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑜 𝑛𝑖 𝑛𝑖'

Psycho told everyone before Harley and Y/n could which made the clown queen of crime mad but it didn't last long as she saw everyone was doing a part in taking care of her now. Clay face did cute puppet shows for you, king shark pirated any movie/show from the internet you wanted, and Psycho let you watch TV with him.

So that's how it all started. Now THIS is where it's at now.

"MAMA!"

You banged on the bars to the cell hoping and praying your mama would come and save you. Big you knew that she couldn't due to being trapped in a block of ice. Little you still believed she would come. How wrong you were. Two face and Penguin thought it was amusing and even pretened that they were getting beat by Harley to see the tears form on your eyes when you saw Harley wasn't there to save you.

Freeze and Bane felt bad for you though. They both knew what age regression was and figured out very quickly you were a regressor by how you couldn't form proper sentences and sucked your thumb when you slept on the dirty mattress in the corner of the cell. You were just a scared baby that missed her mama and that broke their dark hearts.

After Two Face scared you awake and left you crying in the corner, Freeze came in shortly after with a stuffed red bear and a black pacifier. You looked at the villian in confusion curious as to why he was helping you especially with your little space. He opened your cell and sat on the ground in front of you and set the little items down waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to take them.

After 10 minutes you cautiously picker up the bear and put the paci in your mouth. Y/n crawled forward giving the cold man a big hug.

"You're welcome little one. I'll tell those cretins to leave you alone or they'll be dire consequences"

The rest of the month you were there Mr Freeze he took care of you when two face and Penguin left. Mr Freeze was getting more sick of his "companions" every time they bullied you and one day he had enough. So when Penguin took Ice Block Harley to his club Mr Freeze swiped the key from his desk and let you free.

"I'll escort you home little one" Freeze smiled and opened the door to your cell. Your eyes shined so bright like you've been waiting centuries to be free. Freeze picked you up and grabbed the couple little items you hid under the worn out pillow you slept on. He layed you in the backseat of his car and gave you your paci to suck on and your stuffy to cuddle with. 30 minutes later he pulled up to the "abandoned" dirty mall. He wished you didn't have to live in these conditions but you were happy and protected so he didn't protest. You fell asleep halfway there so Freeze had to carry you inside where he saw Harley freaking out while the crew and Ivy tried calming her down.

"WHY ARE WE STILL SITTING AROUND WE NEED TO FIND MY BABY BEFORE THEY DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE TO HER WHAT IF THEY ALREADY DID?!" Harley was so scared for you. If they hurt you she'd never be able to forgive herself.

All of them turned their heads to see Freeze standing in the entrance you sleeping peacefully on his shoulder. Harley was about to shout but Freeze put a finger over his lips signals for her to be quiet him not wanting her to wake you.

Freeze layed you on the couch and covered you with a nearby blanket. "Why are you helping her?? Weren't you the one who froze me in A BLOCK OF-"

She stopped when she saw you whining and stirring in your sleep. Freeze sighed. "I never wanted to hurt her neither did Bane. I knew almost instantly she was a little and that I needed to protect her. I'm sorry for everything Ms Quinn"

"Well since you brought her back and protected her i guess I'll forgive you for turning me into a damn popsicle. But don't think we're friends"

After about 20 minutes your eyes began to flutter open. Rubbing your eyes sleepily and doing a soft yawn alerted your Mama who was discussing her plans to take revenge on the assholes who took you and take over Gotham.

"How're you feeling puddin?" Harley asked as she held you.

"M-mama" the stress over these past months caused you to break down into tears. Harley hugged you close and rubbed soft circles on your back. You wanted to tell her all the things they did to you and how much you missed her but you were too small to hardly even speak her name.

"𝑳𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒇𝒇 𝒊𝒔𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕?

𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆? 𝑾𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌

𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒔

𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈"

Harley sung one of your favorite Disney princess songs hoping to calm you down. The more she sang the more your cries died down until you were looking up at her with tear stained eyes smiling softly. Harley was surprisingly a decent singer when she sung for her baby.

"See baby there's nothing to cry over. You're home with mama, aunty Ivy, your uncles, and Psycho"

"Fuck you Harley"

A small giggle left your lips knowing she was right. They all loved and cared about you so much. Especially your mentally unstable mama.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

There is nothing wrong with being mindful of your own personal safety.

We all have a right to feel uncomfortable, and to act accordingly. It’s okay to cross the road to avoid others, I do this myself.

So too we should all be mindful of how we can make others feel safer when walking home at night – this is just basic common decency.

But what isn’t okay; is to fear monger, vilify and create a cultural panic around ‘men’ as a group.

To talk about men as if they’re monsters forever lurking the shadows; comparing experiences with men to walking through a room of snakes, or swimming in a shark tank, and yes, eating from a bowl of poisoned M&Ms.

This is not advocacy. This is ignorance, and hate.

Neither do such thought experiments help women ‘feel safe’ either. In fact, such terrifying analogies will likely make them feel the opposite.

Neither do you get to tell men (who are at a significantly higher risk), that they can walk the streets at whatever time they like, without fear or consequence – under the protective shield of so called ‘male privilege’.

Walking home at night is not an opportunity for you to inject your bigoted political ideas around men, or stoke fear and division.

I am tired of it.

I am tired of the endless pearl clutching.

I am tired of seeing the conversation of violent crime centred on highly privileged millionaire celebrity women, who are not at risk, and taken away from those who are – which is young, inner city, working class black boys.

I am tired of the conversation making no effort to understand what shapes violent crime, or how to reduce it, to instead fan the flames of a gender war.

I am tired of seeing tragic stories hijacked for political ends, to become yet another bludgeon to hit ‘yes all men’ with.

It is boring. It is divisive. And most of all, it doesn’t achieve anything.

So let’s look at the numbers, for a more reasonable and evidence based insight into violent crime.

--

Sources:

[1] https://tinyurl.com/5ah8vw34

[2] https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2019/crime-in-the-u.s.-2019/topic-pages/tables/table-39

[3] https://www2.census.gov/programs-surveys/popest/tables/2010-2019/national/asrh/nc-est2019-agesex.xlsx

[4] https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/homicideinenglandandwales/march2022

[5] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/31065232_Gender_motivation_and_the_accomplishment_of_street_robbery_in_the_United_Kingdom

==

Xians will thank their god for everything good in their lives, but are pathologically incapable of blaming it for the bad things that happen. It's either "free will" or "Satan" or some other excuse. This is hypocritical.

If you blame men as a category for violent crime, then you can also give credit to men as a category for the decline of violent crime over the years. To not do so would also be hypocritical.

Or you just blame the extreme minority who are actually responsible.

And if you're still like, nope, changes nothing, then okay. But just do one thing for me. Type: "I'm justified crossing the road when I encounter..." Then go look up violent crime by race, pro rata it, and see how you feel about finishing that sentence. I dare you. If one would make you feel racist about making assumptions about and blaming all members of one group, then the other should also make you feel sexist about making assumptions about and blaming all members of another group.

In fact, such terrifying analogies will likely make them feel the opposite.

This is, of course, a feature not a bug. Women's fear is a valuable political and ideological commodity.

"... as we know from the war on drugs and the war on terror, for those in the business of providing protection, high threat levels are bread and butter. Likewise, for those in the business of healing race relations, racial division is your sworn enemy but your secret friend—so much so that wounding and healing become part of the same operation." -- Lyell Asher, "Why Colleges Are Becoming Cults."

The same thing applies here. The point of stupid analogies and stories is the same as the threat of hell: to control and manipulate, to gain authority by building dependence through fostering fear.

When someone is encouraging you to be afraid, stop for a moment and ask yourself, why. What do they get out of it?

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

Glad you like it lol

1: I know you said in a much earlier post that Jake develop his powers from fending off a bully but what did he do to the bully? (Unless you already answer this & im blind lol ) did he threw the bully, punch the side of a wall or locker and it cracked, accidentally shot a starbolt burning the bully, etc…

2: how did mar’i develop her powers?

3: what type of crime does the duo face on most days? I can see thieves & gangs of bullies being the main bad guys.

4: how often does the duo fight crimes? Everyday, once or twice a week?

5: what’s their phone Lock Screen & Home Screen background?

6: I know gross out humor ain’t their thing but does the duo use their butt as a weapon? like a flying hip attack, like kitana from mortal kombat or R. Mika from street fighter five. For humor: I can see either of the duo, most likely Jake, squatting over a goons face & striking two piece signs while making a silly face while Chris takes a picture XD

1) Based on this post by the ever excellent @/dar draws, Jake accidentally fired a starbolt at that bully, sending flying into a wall. Thankfully said bully at most some bruises and his shirt burnt off but not so thankfully Jake was distraught as he had no experience in doing that but moreso out of rightful fear of legit hurting someone with his powers kicking in so suddenly. The bully was the one suspended for invoking the situation in the first place while Jake had a lengthy conversation with his parents and sister afterwards over what they can do about this turn of events. Jake had to take at least two days off school before coming back with some light power dampers at his insistence so he can blend in better.

2) Mar’i in contrast to her brother develops her powers pretty much at birth due to her Tamaranean DNA being stronger than her human half. Upon a mere few minutes after first coming outside Kory’s womb, Mar’i was so joyful upon first ever seeing her parents, she began lightly floating in the air before Kory gently had her back in her arms. From there over the course of next two years, more of her powers began flowing in. For instance, Mar’i fired her first starbolt at two months, exhibited super strength at four months, and began to have some enhanced senses of smell and taste by the time she’s one year old. By the time Jake was born, Mar’i pretty much developed the near full power set

3) Chris and Jake, when not facing against legit supervillains, full blown alien invasions or psychopathic rouges including Zsasz, often find themselves taking down more petty criminals and gangsters within both Bludhaven and the slums of Metropolis. They also contend with corrupt business owners, predatory loan sharks, and even guiding drivers to safely traverse insufficient and dangerous roads until said roads are cleared for much needed renovations. Most interestingly, a lot of their patrols and capers take place within the neighborhoods and boroughs of both cities which have notable alien and other dimensional sentient populations, for instance ‘Little Tamaran’ back at Bludhaven.

4) Usually about four days out of the week during school quarters and just about six out of seven days of the week during summer vacation, spring break and winter vacation. On the days when they don’t patrol, it’s spent either catching on catching to whatever homework they would’ve missed before or likely spending time with their respective families.

5) Chris

- Lock Screen: A Superman Logo

- Home Screen: A Family Picture fearing Martha, Pa, Clark, Lois, Kara, Conner, Jon and himself during the Smallville County Fair when he was nine years old.

Jake

- Lock Screen: A Classic Flying Graysons Poster, much like one of the few hanging on the walls back home

- Home Screen: A Selfie of Chris and Himself during a break on patrol together

6) Okay now that seems a lot more plausible for the two of them to such poses for photos during particularly easier nights on patrols or even more commonly after taking down a rampaging big monster. You can expect that happening to Cinderblock quite a often after he’s taken down. The fact he sees that very often when looking up his files only furthers his drive to challenge the Duo

Edit:

Hmmm…..I say for the first part (of Question #6), maybe they do those moves if they feel especially energetic and excited during a supervillain battle @gothicghost2000

[coldwayhome]

hi can i get cornelia street pleek 🙏🏼🙏🏼

uhh im mexican amer, 5’2 with shoulder length black hair and tan-ish skin w dark brown eyes

im like rlly awkward n quiet but the complete opposite once i warm up to ppl 😭 i LOVEEE reading, baking and listening to music!! fav artists rn r taylor swift (obvi), olivia rodrigo laufey and phoebe bridgers / boygenius !! for reading my fav genres r fantasty, ya n anything sapphic / lgbtq 🙏🏼 i also love spiderman (specifically miles morales n gwen stacy) true crime / supernatural stuff, sharks / the ocean, sitcoms and painting / art !! i cant think of anything else to say so i hope this is enough 💔💔

౨ৎ ⋆˚ LEAD US HOME

☆ CORNELIA STREET: send a description of yourself, and i'll assign you a godly parent!

— hellloooo athena!

— this was immediate

— i know you said you also like the ocean and its critters, but pshh

— you're an athena kid thru and thru!!

— not that i'm stereotyping, but the reading is a big one

— especially the genres!!!!

— also the true crime is sooo athena kid

— listening to a podcast with a bluetooth speaker while cleaning the cabin for inspections

— hello is that not you and malcom

— anyways

— you're one of the rarer artistically blessed athena kids

— of course you and your sibs all crochet and knit or whatever

— but they'll just watch you paint

— they all love your work!!!!! and they want to support you any way they can

— the cabin definitely has family tv nights where you all watch a show together

— usually it's one that's agreed upon, but it also rotates depending on who's picking

— you totally put them on to the best music ever btw

— athena cabin choir sings cool about it LOLL

I'M SORRY THIS ISN'T VERY LONG 🙁🙁🙁 i am so not informed of athena cabin things... hello cabin 6 anyways ty for rqing!!!