#technically this isn't a romantic post but. it is

[nickssidewitch]

🥰 The Sturniolo Triplets' SFW Alphabet (Based on Tarot!) 🥰

This is the moment you all have been waiting for, the piece de resistance. The SFW Alphabet.

For those who are unfamiliar with this concept, SFW (Safe for Work) Alphabets are essentially just having a love-related word that represents each letter of the Alphabet, from A through Z.

But instead of doing headcanons or what I think they might be into or how I think they might behave, I have spent months of doing tarot readings to get the most accurate information of how they actually are in these situations. Of course, as with anything spiritual, take this with a grain of salt. This information isn't technically "true" unless they themselves confirm or deny it directly or indirectly. But if you like these readings, have fun with them, whether you believe them or not.

Since there are three men being discussed in this post, there will be a description/reading done for each of the three, as I feel like grouping them all together would be jumbled and clunky. I tried to be as descriptive and thorough as possible.

PLEASE NOTE: These can apply to friendships and romantic relationships since there are SFW. Also, it's tarot. If you believe in it, cool. If you don't, also cool. Love y'all so much!

Thank you all for being so patient with me btw, since I've been teasing it since literally last year. 🤷🏾‍♀️😭💖

🥰💝 A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Nick: He is extremely affectionate when he feels that he can trust you completely. It will take him a while to fully get to that level of trust, as he’s been hurt in the past from trusting people too quickly as a child. But once he finally fully trusts you, he will love you with all of his being. He’s very physical when he’s at that 100% level of trust with you, often cuddling you more or literally just laughing onto you. He’d love to watch movies, go to concerts, or do a lot of arts and crafts together with you. Exchanging ideas with each other is a sign of complete trust with him.

Matt: He is definitely an affectionate person, but that depends on trust level, similar to Nick. He takes a while to fully trust someone, even if they've known each other for a while. But when that level of trust is established, he's definitely showing his love and affection full-force. He'll be physical, like Nick, where he'll throw himself at you when he's laughing. He also will be the type to lay his head on you, whether it's to stare at your phone while you're on it, or just to get your fingers through his hair in a soothing pattern. He's definitely also the type to show his affection through giving gifts or making things for you, like food or arts and crafts.

Chris: He's probably the most outwardly and immediately affectionate of the bunch. He doesn't waste time to show his appreciation and love for someone, even if he's only known them for a few months. As long as he feels comfortable around you to be himself, he's show his affection, as he is naturally an affectionate person. If he doesn't feel comfortable around someone, he will act unnaturally, and thus will not be affectionate. Lots of physical affection! He also just loves to orally speak his affections to you, so words of affirmation are huge as well.

👯🤍 B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Nick: Oh my gosh, when he‘s your best friend or you are considered his, you will know immediately. I think his friendships usually start when he feels connected to you in a way that's not just superficial. He does not like a surface-level relationship at all, and he will be quick to ghost or just stop talking to someone when he feels that the relationship/friendship isn't going anywhere that can benefit each party. He loves connecting to people tapped into their feminine energies, and those who aren't afraid of being vulnerable and even a little unique in the ways they express themselves. He is definitely someone that you can go to when you have secrets that have lingered in your mind for too long, and the friend that will protect you whenever shit goes down. But, he's also the one to give you advice and point out when someone else is being unfair in a situation. I think something he's working on is being a better friend, and within that, being the friend to point out when you're wrong. He's working on ways to be that sort of reliable and honest person who will respectfully tell you when you screw up.

Matt: He's definitely the friend who checks up on you, even without you asking for it or expecting it. He'd hate for time to pass and him not knowing that you were feeling bad. He loves to have little chats throughout the day through text, especially if he didn't have much planned. The texts could evolve into FaceTime calls if he and the person felt comfortable enough to do that. He takes his time in friendships, having learned in the past that rushing things could be diving headfirst into something that he never wanted. He loves to listen to his friends' stories as he feels that it will make him understand their psychology a bit better. He reads a lot of books and watches a lot of videos about that. He's the type of person to call you a friend if you're an associate, but that's something he wants to stop. He wants to evolve into the type of person who only calls those deserving of that title his friend. He feels that, sometimes, he's just too nice. I feel that he'll become that type of guy in his early 30s. He won't become friends with anyone, but he is open-minded enough to people who are interested in things he isn't super particularly interested in. If you're not into his interests, he'll understand. But, that friendship may not be super close if that's the case. He loves to connect with people wholeheartedly, so a connection will not deepen if the main ones aren't even connecting in the first place.

Chris: He trusts people way too much, way too quickly. This is something he's learning from his brothers to stop doing as it has hurt him in the past. He connects to people through his interests and then grows that friendship by learning about their unique little individual quirks. He can't be friends with someone who can't get along with his brothers, point blank period. He'd love for all of them to be friends, since establishing group connections is more of his style, but he knows that that can be unrealistic (sometimes his friends may not get as close to Nick and Matt as him) and so he doesn't have high hopes. He loves to connect the most through music, childhood experiences, and hobbies like sports or Lego-building. He'd love to be on good terms with everybody and anybody, but again, he knows that's unrealistic and has to snap out of it sometimes. He's the type of friend to say "Hey, you and this other friend could get along if you met them."

👥😇 C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Nick: Probably the most underrated in the trio when it comes to cuddling. He loves to wrap his arms around someone he loves, as his natural protective nature steps in when doing so. Cuddling for him represents security and that protection. He doesn't mind cuddling his friends (if he knows they're fine with it). In regard to a boyfriend, he's definitely just going to pull him closer to his body without any questions asked once their relationship is physical. He'll smell his natural scent and feel at home. And he hopes that he has that affect on his boyfriend as well whenever he chooses to cuddle him right back. Cuddling sessions will last a long time, and they usually happen either in the early mornings when just waking up, on lazy days when they both have nothing to do, on days when they particular miss each other's companies, or on nights that last long.

Matt: He's a cuddler, BOOTS! He loves to feel someone's warmth and weight beside him. He loves to spoon, but doesn't mind the traditional lean-into-his-side-with-your-head-on-his-shoulder kind of vibe. He's capable of cuddling for hours while watching a movie or playing a game, sometimes just looking out the window, but doesn't mind being friends/partners with someone who doesn't like that for too long (although, he might whine once they pull away). If it's a girlfriend, he loves to do those little things where he's play with their hair or rub his thumb into their skin absentmindedly.

Chris: Definitely loves to cuddle. But unlike Matt, he will not let go. He will continue to cling onto the person and whine if they say "no" (he'll respect a no obviously; he's a firm follower of consent. I'm just joking around). He will want to cuddle while watching a movie and playing a game, but he doesn't mind just chatting. His cuddling style is similar to Matt's where he'll do little physical touches to his girlfriend. He might squeeze a titty or hold onto it, just for safety and funsies (according to him). It can evolve to something nasty, but we'll save that for the NSFW Alphabet. He loves when his girlfriend lays on top of him, and his friends can just lay beside him.

🍳🧼 D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Nick: Settle Down Now? Absolute not. He's too young and wild and free (yes, I'm quoting a song). Settle down when he's probably around his mid-30s? Yes. Maybe even 40s if he doesn't want to end his flirty-thirties to soon. He's actually good at cleaning, especially after being roommates with two brothers who couldn't care less about either most of the time (other than Matt, which is obvious by the way he flexes his laundry duty and shames Nick and Chris for not having their rooms tidy). Cleaning his room is something he definitely something he wants to improve on, especially since he realizes his whole life progresses and he has some sort of good luck whenever he cleans his room. A tidy home leads to a tidy life after all, at least for Nicolas. Can he cook though? Uh... we'll get back to you on that.

Matt: Settle Down Now? No, not exactly. It would be nice to just find the girl of his dreams and plan his future with her as soon as possible so he doesn't have to worry about any of that in the future. But he knows that's probably unrealistic, unless his life is like one of those rom-coms he loves to think about (he hopes it is like those rom-coms, but a man can only dream and manifest). That man will cook and clean for someone he loves. He'll even show them his finest dishes, Matt Sturniolo style.

Chris: Settle Down Now? Fuck to the fuck no. He's young and thriving! How could he ever settle down. Life goes on and he's just flowing down the waves, or whatever that saying is.

💔😿 E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Nick: Nick is a big worrier when it comes to making decisions and planning huge life changes like that. You'd have to really break his heart or be a complete dickhead for him to make the choice to break up with you. He'd simply just have a conversation with you as soon as the two of you are free to explain why you and him won't work out or why he isn't attracted to you anymore. He's more likely to use the "I just don't feel the same way as you do about me" or the "I just don't feel the same spark as I used to" justifications, even if the real reasons are far different. If you're a good person, he doesn't want to hurt you any further than a break-up would hurt you. If you're a loser, he just wants to get rid of you as soon as possible and the conversation will definitely be easier.

Matt: He'd feel a shift in the air and know that it's time to leave this person. He'd also have a conversation, but it would be over breakfast or dinner. He wouldn't want to do it in the spur of the moment because he'd feel to awkward and nervous about that, and he wouldn't want the other person to feel that way, especially if that person is a good ex.

Chris: He would feel so bad if he had to, even if it was for good reason (i.e.. she's a bad person). If she's a horrible person, he definitely would be turned off by that and want to end the relationship, but he definitely would feel bad or even guilty, as if he's doing something wrong. He'd need reassurance that it's okay to break it off. It's the same in friendships.

💍💎 F = Fiancé (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Nick: He's actually fine with commitment, and if someone comes up who he feels he can share his life with, then he will. As of right now, he's exploring his options and exploring who he is in a romantic and partnership sense.

Matt: He's totally fine with commitment, he just would want to know if his body and mind are completely in agreement with it. I think he doesn't want to get married yet, but he would feel great if he could just find his person as soon as possible so he doesn't have to worry about his future so much or worry about experiencing bad people. But he knows that's unrealistic. But, God, he wishes.

Chris: You all already know how this man feels about commitment. He's definitely not its biggest fan right now. But that doesn't mean he won't learn to grow out of that in a healthy manner. He's afraid of committing to the wrong person (as most of us are, but his worries are just heightened). He's also afraid of hurting the other person, or the other person hurting him.

☺️☁️ G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Nick: Physically, he's pretty soft. He doesn't like to fight (even though the car videos and vlogs say otherwise). He's actually a pacifist in his real life, and hates seeing other people fight. He knows he has physical strength though and isn't afraid to use it if need be. He wouldn't fully roughhouse with his partner to be honest. Maybe he'd tackle him or something, but a physical fight is a huge no-no. Emotionally, he's gentle with other people, but not himself (he needs to work on this more). He'll sit down and listen to the problems of those he cares about, and will be there to be a shoulder to cry on. He gets this from his mom.

Matt: He is an absolute gentle soul, inside and out. He does not like violence at all. He'll roughhouse with his brothers and some friends, but that's it. He would never, ever, ever hit a woman, especially not his girlfriend. Emotionally, he's patient and gentle with his loved ones, always wanting to hear them out on their issues and troubles throughout the day or in their lives.

Chris: Not physically rough at all. The biggest hugger, cuddler, everything. Physically, he is the biggest teddy bear you'd ever meet. The most he'd do is tackle someone, but that would lead to kisses, embraces, and cuddles. Emotionally, he's working on improving how gentle he is. I feel like his patience is a bit weak when it comes to hearing people's issues. But, this is due to his brain going a million miles a minute. He does try his absolute best to take his time to listen to his loved ones, but it's definitely something he wants to get better at.

🤗🫂 H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Nick: He loves to hug people who he feels are worthy of being hugged by him- not in a egotistical way, just in a safety way. He's not gonna hug anybody, unless they reach out to do it first. If he has an issue with someone, he will force a handshake. With someone he's close to, his hugs are nice and tight. He has a momma bear type of hug. You'll hear him hum into the hug and feel the vibrations from his chest. His whole body and smell envelops you, and it's such a heartwarming experience. I'm sure he's given this hug to a couple of fans before. With people he isn't close to but is okay with hugging, he gives them a side hug that isn't super touchy, and he is super respectful about it.

Matt: He hugs people like he's afraid of breaking them. I know y'all have probably heard that before, but it's true. He hugs some people like he's about to lift them up. Sometimes he even rests his head in the crook of their neck. If he doesn't like you, he is not going to even touch you.

Chris: I don't even have to answer whether he likes hugs or not (he does). He is the biggest hugger of the bunch. His hugs feel like embraces. He never hugs someone for less than 5 seconds. If he recently had an argument with a loved one, he will hug them tightly to reassure them and make the person feel better, even as a way to resolve the situation. If he isn't close to you or doesn't trust you, he will not hug you; the most he'd do is fist-bump.

😍💕 I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Nick: Fast if he isn't thinking. Like it would slip and he'd slap his hand over his face with that shocked expression he does and a little muffled giggle.

Matt: He’d say it quietly, like he’d literally mutter those words. If the person hears it and says it back, it’ll feel like a win. But if she doesn’t say it back, he’ll worry that she didn’t hear it or that she didn’t want to hear it. He will probably wait a veryyy long time before even saying those words; a year or so if he's already friends with her before dating.

Chris: He says it as soon as he feels it, even before dating the person. He just says it casually to his friends and family all the time anyway.

😒❓J= Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

Nick: He's the jealous type for sure. If he likes you as a person, and I mean really likes you as a person, he'd feel a little off if you're hanging out with other people who aren't him. If you're his man, he will stare (or give a death glare) at you and the person you're talking to. He'll start to ask questions, and when he feels reassured, he'll drop the issue. The thing with Nick is, if he's with someone, then he has 100% trust in them, nothing less. So he trusts that his man wouldn't do weird shit. But if the man does... then the man has hell to pay.

Matt: He doesn’t get jealous; he gets protective and a bit possessive (not in a bad way). He’ll keep his arm around her if they’re in a crowded room, especially a crowded room with a bunch of men. He doesn’t want her to get caught up in the men’s flirting attempts. He’ll make her stay by his side and only talk to people the two of them know or trust. He doesn’t get jealous when he sees her talking to other men, but of course he’ll feel suspicious if she’s around them for too long. If his girlfriend is bisexual and is talking to women, it’s the same way as it would be if she was talking to men. No discrimination over here.

Chris: His jealousy stems from his trust issues. His jealousy can either be that he gets too sad to the point where he can't cope, or he will take his jealousy out on you... but we'll save that for the NSFW Alphabet.

💋😽 K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Nick: Soft and gentle. Something I'd describe as "sweet", not only because he wears the sweetest tasting lip balms and glosses, but also because they just leave people feeling content and feeling giddy. They're usually little pecks that he's leave his partner throughout the day when he feels like it, sometimes absentmindedly. His french kisses are deep and passionate, and he’ll hold onto his man tightly as he commences the kiss. He might tug on his lip too if he’s feeling freaky. Nick likes to be kissed on his lips and neck the most.

Matt: Passionate and sly. When he’s gentle, he’s very gentle, but is guilty of sneaking in a little lick or tongue. When he’s rough and nasty, he’s rough and nastyyy. He likes to be kissed on his stomach, chest, and lips, maybe even the forehead if it’s something small.

Chris: All over. That man will kiss you in every single place of your body, even places you never knew could be kissed. They’re a variety of different types, some passionate and deep, some light and cutesy. He likes to be kissed everywhere as well, but he’s super ticklish 😭

🍼👼🏻 L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Nick: The sweetest and cutest! He doesn't mind being an uncle Nick to those he's close with. He has a fear of holding them and dropping them accidentally, but with time he'll get better at that. He actually loves kids despite what he says sometimes. He loves babies and is just starting to appreciate toddlers. Kids between 6 and 13 though? A bit... questionable. A little nasty and slimy. And then teenagers? Keep. Them. Away.

Matt: He loves children and hopes to have his own one day. He will literally send people videos of kids on his socials any day of the week because they're just too stinkin' cute. He loves to hear them giggle, but he laughs when he sees them fall on their face (but his paternal instincts kick in and he wonders if the baby is okay).

Chris: Chris loves kids. He loves to play with them and get rowdy, but he also just likes to do chill things like draw and build Legos. He is similar to Matt where he is thinking of having them one day. He definitely does not want them now, but he does think of the future often. Having a child will secure to him that he is an adult.

☀️🏙️ M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Nick: He's definitely very gentle in the morning. He's not the type to be "up and at 'em". He'll spend at most an hour or so trying to get himself awake. If he wake sup earlier than the person next to him, he'll just watch them sleep a little. If the person beside him wakes up earlier than him, they'll watch him sleep, and his eyes will flutter open like a damn Disney princess. He has a little puffy face in the morning and his hair is all tousled, but he still looks damn pretty. After waking up, the two will just communicate through soft whispers and grunts of sound, like bears awaking from hibernation. After getting up from bed, Nick will either head to the bathroom with his person and brush his teeth with them, or he'll just stay in bed and wait for them to come back. If this person is his lover, he'll definitely try to kiss them with his morning breath, but he's a damn hypocrite because he's the first to call his man out for not brushing his own teeth. After the morning bathroom ritual, the two will head downstairs for breakfast, where either one of them will cook, or both will cook breakfast after having an unserious argument about possibly burning the kitchen down if Nick cooks on his own.

Matt: He's a deep sleeper, and will often need a push or two to get him out of bed. Once awoken, he won't know where he is for a little bit, and his person will have to shake him non-violently and remind him of his reality. He will stay in bed for an hour or so, having a conversation about his recent dream, calling out all of the details he can remember. He’ll giggle and smile softly at every joke cracked and every kiss given. After waking up, blinking his eyes a couple of times, and hissing at the sun peeking through the blinds, he’ll get out of bed, dragging his person with him, making the two of them brush their teeth. They’ll have a little conversation during their morning routine in the bathroom, sometimes even gossip a little bit. If they are lovers, they will shower together, maybe even wash each other’s hair.

Chris: He varies between being a light and heavy sleeper, so you never know if he’s going to wake up before you, or if you have to nudge him awake. His eyes are dreamy, his hair is messed up, and his voice is raspy. His skin may even be a bit sweaty since he likes to sleep under a lot of blankets sometimes. He’ll spend some time before getting out of bed, not as long as Nick or Matt, possibly 15 to 30 minutes? He loves to do his morning routine with his person, playing whatever playlist he wants to vibe to, dancing a little but while forcing his person to dance. After that, he’ll spend some time in the closet, trying to find his outfit of the day, fitting them on and doing a little fashion show for his person. Once he’s settled on something, they will both head downstairs for breakfast, cooking up something delicious.

🌙🌃 N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nick: Nighttime with Nick is lazy, yet magical. He’ll be in a cozy shirt and a random pair of boxers. He’ll take his time to get tired, staying in bed with his person endlessly, watching Rupaul’s Drag Race or playing Fortnite or whatever game/show his man is into. Once he gets tired, which is pretty late (or early in the morning), he’ll start to get cuddly, and you’d notice his eyes start to fade, his body starting to slump every now and then with exhaustion. If you point that out to him, he’ll pout and say “Five more minutes” in the cutest, sleepiest voice ever. Once he’s ready to sleep (or once his man convinces him to), he’ll curl up and go to sleep with a smile on his face, uttering a small Good night before immediately falling asleep like 5 minutes later.

Matt: He loves to sleep, so honestly it doesn’t take him long to do so. After showering and doing his hair, he’ll jump into bed and sigh with relief. He’ll gossip and talk to his person about the long day he/they had. He might play some games or watch a TV show for a bit, but not until he starts to drift off. He knows when to shut his phone/TV off, unlike Nick. After a while and he’s ready to sleep away, he’ll turn on his side, most likely be the big spoon, and fall asleep, the scent of his person being the last thing on his mind since he inhaled their scent while cuddling.

Chris: Chris hates the nighttime because he just wants to stay up all the time with his person, even if they’re on the phone. But he’s also very strict and will scold his person to go to bed because “It’s good for you” and “I don’t want you to not get your 8 hours”, even though he is probably the biggest hypocrite with that himself. After brushing his teeth, he’ll stay on his phone and scroll through TikTok, stalking his fans a bit, or he might watch a TV show with his partner until he tires out. He knows when to turn all of his devices off, and he’ll focus on getting ready to fall asleep. He’s known for having sleep paralysis and night terrors, so cuddling with his person is the best way for him not to experiences those things. Just knowing that they’re even beside him is enough for him to feel content, and he’ll yawn and start to drift off. He has the cutest little sleeping face though: a bit pouty and his nose wriggles like a bunny.

🗣️🥺 O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Nick: He might be a bit of an oversharer, but that doesn’t mean he’ll spill every detail about himself the day he meets someone. He’ll probably start truly opening up about deeper subjects after I’d say a year if we’re giving it a timeline of being friends.

Matt: He overshares a bit as well if he doesn’t hold his tongue, but he’ll definitely take his time before opening up about deeper things. His lore is extensive and quite sensitive to him. While he is quite open online about certain things, that doesn’t mean he tells the internet every single detail because he knows they don’t need to know every single detail. If he’s trying to be friends/a boyfriend to someone, it’s the same as Nick, and would take him about a year to really open up. Maybe even longer.

Chris: He’ll start opening up the moment he trusts someone, probably 4 to 6 months of knowing someone. This is a horrible thing he has to learn to stop doing. His trust in someone is deep too, so that adds onto how bad this is in his case.

🤬😤 P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Nick: He's the most passive aggressive of the bunch in real life. He won't say explicitly what he wants to say unless someone really triggers him to be that way. He'll send out little jabs to the person verbally. He doesn't get angry to the point of throwing or punching things- he isn't violent. He doesn't yell unless he's exaggerating something or if he's mad at his brothers.

Matt: He gets the most angry out of the three of them. As I've said before, he yells loudly. He doesn't punch stuff unless it's like a pillow or mattress. He'd never break things unless he's in a rage room or something. He certainly gives people the same sneaky and shady little jabs that Nick does though, except I'd argue that Matt's words cut more like a sword than a knife.

Chris: He doesn't get angry necessarily, he just gets flustered, overwhelmed, or annoyed and then expresses himself in an angry tone. If someone cuts him off while talking, you might see him fidget or look away from them. He'll grit his teeth sometimes too (the underbite joke). If he feels that he's getting angry, he'll leave the space or just try to calm himself down with his fidgeting or by focusing on something else.

🧐💭 Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Nick: He will remember everything he knows is important to someone. If the person states that “this thing means a lot to me”, he’ll remember that statement and keep it in mind. If it’s any sort of interest or special material object that a person likes, he’ll keep note of it and every time he passes a store that has that thing in it, he’ll point at it and be like “This reminds me of ___”.

Matt: He remembers everything about you. Everything. Even though it might not seem like he does, he absolutely remembers everything. He puts on an act of aloofness because he just likes to surprise/shock his person. He will even remember the little minute details of something.

Chris: He does his best to remember everything. He'll probably just write down everything he feels he has to remember. His brain goes a million miles a minute, so sometimes things may fly over his head. If it's a really important thing or event, he will absolutely never forget it though.

😌✨R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Nick: The first time you kiss. He’ll remember the way you look into his eyes and the way he looks back in yours. He’ll remember the way your lips tasted. He'll remember the time and place it happened. He'll always remember how it felt for the rest of your relationship together.

Matt: The first time you make love. He’d remember the way you hesitate a bit, wondering what the next move between each other will be. He’d remember the way your lips feel on his, the way your lips would taste, the way your tongues dance along each other. But… we’ll save that for the NSFW Alphabet.

Chris: The first time you open up to each other and have a deep conversation. Up to that point, you’d only have conversations with him that were surface-level. You two would gossip and banter about the people you love and hate, things that happened in your lives, your interests, so on and so forth. But when that first deep conversation happens? That will be the benchmark for how your relationship will be for the rest of your lives together.

✋🏾🚫 S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Nick: Probably the most protective of the bunch if he really loves you. He would go out of his way to make sure you’re alright, constantly sending you texts or calling you to check in. He will hold your hand, even if he’s just your friend, when he’s crossing the street or going through large or rough crowds. And obviously, he’s whooping ass for you!

Matt: He is super protective, constantly supporting you and defending you when things get dirty. If he’s wrong about something, it’ll take him a bit of time to put his pride aside, but he definitely will to defend you. And yes, he is also kicking ass for you.

Chris: Super protective, especially physically. He’ll stand in front of you when he has to, make sure you’re walking inside of the sidewalk rather than by the street, and he’ll even taste things before you do. He’ll use his embraces and cuddly nature to his advantage by also being a human shield in the process. He definitely is a bodyguard for you.

💐🫶🏾 T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Nick: So much effort. He wants to get you the best of the best. His gifts are usually things that remind him of your shared loved and relationship with him. It's something that benefits the both of you. But he also chooses gifts that hold a lot of sentimental value. He wants to make sure everything is absolutely perfect for his person. They don’t deserve anything less than 100% perfect.

Matt: He will definitely be a chivalrous and courteous man. He is the definition of a gentleman on dates (probably because he rehearses them sometimes). He will definitely also be a part-time househusband for his partner, not just because he’s chivalrous, but because he will actually enjoy doing them.

Chris: A gentleman through and through. He might be a little clumsy and awkward at times, but he is definitely the brother who tries the most to be the best boyfriend or friend of all time to someone, even to those who may not deserve it (which is horrible).

🙅🏾‍♀️😱 U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Nick: He criticizes himself and others too harshly. Sometimes it projects and he'll catch himself doing it and feel bad immediately. This is definitely something he's learning not to do, especially with people checking him for doing that more often (i.e. Chris). He also leaves things in random places of his room sometimes, and then forgets them months later.

Matt: He's guilty of being too closed off sometimes when he’s deep in his feelings. Usually it's because he's trying to resonate and rationalize his emotions before stating them to someone out loud. He has to really trust you to express himself in that way. If he’s overwhelming angry, he’ll express that externally through yelling loudly mainly. He's working on this though.

Chris: He trusts people too quickly and sometimes feels used. He's definitely working on this, and his brothers and family constantly have to give him reality checks. Chris just wants everyone to get along. If he likes the idea of someone, he might take that too far and mistake it for actually liking them, which might make him jump the gun a bit in establishing a close bond with them.

🪞😘 V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Nick: With his own looks? He's very judgmental of himself. He's his own biggest critic. But he's getting better at not being too hard on himself on some days. With how his romantic partner looks? He definitely, absolutely cares. He can't be with a man who doesn't take care of his own looks.

Matt: With his own looks, he definitely has to look presentable in some way. He can’t leave the house looking like a bum or he’d feel awful and self-conscious. With his partner’s looks, he’s concerned, but his philosophy is “if you’re comfortable, you’re gonna look good regardless.” If you dress in ways that he can visibly notice you’re uncomfortable or you’re just doing it to impress him, then he’s not interested or he'll be super concerned for you.

Chris: With his own looks, he doesn’t wanna leave the house looking a mess, but he also doesn’t care sometimes, especially if he’s just going to a friend’s house or to the corner store. In regards to his girl, he has the same philosophy as Matt, and also wants his girl to look better than him 😭

❤️💞 W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Nick: If he has the absolute love, adoration, and admiration for you, then he'll love you with his whole heart. He wouldn’t go a day without communicating with you, just to make sure that you’re alright. That check-in eases his own head and heart, and makes him feel whole again.

Matt: He's a bit skeptical of people at first. But if you're able to prove yourself to him and show you're good to him, his family, and especially strangers, he'll love you wholly. There are those little bits and pieces of those people that he loves that fill up the little broken shards than surround his own heart.

Chris: That man will love you to the moon and back if he feels that you're deserving of his love. He will show the same amount of love to you than you show to him tenfold. He feels complete and more, maybe even 200% complete, with the people that he loves.

📝✍🏾 X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

Nick: He loves love even if he doesn't give off that vibe. He loves all forms of love, not just in a romantic sense. If he loves you, like I said in the very beginning, you will know it because he will show it.

Matt: He will go all out for special days and events like Valentine’s Day, birthdays, and anniversaries. He doesn’t miss a single beat! He’ll buy/cook all the food, prepare the house/room/wherever you are to look.

Chris: Knowing that he’s made his partner/friend/loved one happy at least once every day is enough to satisfy him. If he feels that that person is upset with him, he won’t sleep without making sure the person is alright, or without him apologizing.

🤮🤢 Y= Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

Nick: He hates rude people. If you go out and you’re rude to employees like waiters or clerks or people like that, he’s gonna bounce! He also hates when people fake who they are and put on personas, especially around him.

Matt: He doesn’t like someone who’s impatient. He has a bit of a patience issue himself at times, but he’s working on that aspect of himself. And since he’s self-aware, he hopes that the person he’ll be involved with can be aware of their own problems as well. Lack of self-awareness is a huge turn-off for him. He also doesn’t like someone who tries to force him to separate from his brothers. He loves his brothers very, very much, and this applies to them as well.

Chris: He doesn’t appreciate a closed-minded person. If you’re constantly bashing people for their personal choices, beliefs, and interests and don’t open yourself to new ideas and experiences, that’s a huge red flag to him. He also hates an unnecessarily rude person. He also hates when people baby him. He likes to be taken care of, but he hates when people make him feel small, like he’s incapable of learning, or like he’s a child.

😴💤 Z = Zzz (What are some sleep habits of theirs?)

Nick: The first time y’all sleep in the same bed together, he’s going to give you a whole disclaimer, talking about “If I snore, I’m sorry,” or “Oh my God, what if I wake up in the middle of the night to go pee?? I don’t wanna wake you up on accident” and some other shit you definitely will reassure him about. Once his worries have been satiated, you two will start off in a simple spooning position. If you’re bigger than him, he’d love it if you were the big spoon. If you’re around his size of a little smaller, he’d definitely the big spoon. But in the morning, he will literally end up with his whole body on you 😭 You’ll wake up with weight on you and the feeling of repeated puffs of air against your neck or chest, but then once you open your eyes, you’ll see a sleeping Nick. He looks peaceful and serene, you wouldn’t want to wake him up because of how cute he looks. But you'll have to give him a body pillow or something when you're not around because he will call you and whine about how he can't sleep. He might even say the pillow isn't as good as you. He also drools, but don't tell anyone.

Matt: He is the biggest, most cuddly buddy in bed. If he's sleeping with his girlfriend, he will pout and protest against sleeping unless she gives him the okay to cuddle her. He's definitely not a light sleeper, but if he's cuddling with someone, he will be. He might get up in the middle of the night or earlier than his partner just to look at her and admire her when she sleeps- but he would never say that to her unless he gets caught. Otherwise, he'll just close his eyes and save that image in his dreams. He loves spooning, him preferably being the bigger spoon. If his girlfriend wants to spoon, he wouldn't mind- just don't expect to stay in that position as he might change it in the middle of the night. He's the type to read her a bedtime story if she asked- maybe not right now at his age, but I definitely see him doing this in his future (late 20s/early 30s?). He loves making the bed in the morning for his girlfriend because he knows she'd prefer it that way. Overall, a real comfortable and cozy experience.

Chris: He shifts in his sleep all the time if he isn't tucked in. The poor man can hardly every find a comfortable spot within the first few minutes. He's like a dog that constantly goes in a circle as it tries to find the best way to curl up for its slumber. His hair gets super messy in the morning, so whoever he sleeps with shouldn't be surprised with a couple of strands getting caught in their mouth or nose. He snores a bit, talks in his sleep, and even laughs sometimes since his dreams can get really immersive, so whoever is in bed with him shouldn't be alarmed- just be a little observant in case he falls into paralysis. He likes to smell good before bed. He can't go into his bed without some sort of scent on or else he'd feel grimy. In the mornings when he's about to wake up, he yawns and stretches, never even knowing where he is. It'll take him a few minutes to fully process anything, but when he's fully awake, he'll smile and giggle. The man never has a frown on his face in the morning (unless he has to take a flight).

[cupidsncheerios]

btw viktor was absolutely lying to jayce about zaun for fun

like. during that 6 year timeskip he was telling jayce the most ridiculous small lies about life in zaun and jayce was believing him wholeheartedly. like not major lies nothing that would ever come up outside of the lab but just silly things that viktor delights in seeing jayce take seriously, like telling him that giving someone a bloody handkerchief is considered a courtship gift, or that zaunite funerals involve shaving the corpse's head

and eventually jayce meets more zaunites like vi and sky but it's not like he mentions these things viktor's told him, so they mostly go uncorrected, and if they notice that jayce has some Weird Ideas about zaun they just chalk it up to regular piltie bigotry and not that there's a zaunite spreading misinformation to him for fun

anyway this all comes to a head in the shimmer factory when jayce is mourning that child he shot and he very solemnly turns to vi and says "do you wanna shave his head or should i?"

[askfordoodles]

felt so euphoric to be able to come out as nb/trans in Veilguard, loved the added dialogue they took the time to write and record just for such scenarios

now can we PLEASE make a game where u can explicitly, verbally come out as ace, and also without it automatically locking you out of the romance path

pls bioware (and other companies) some of us are STARVING

[sarahlancashire]

seeing various dragon age romance polls & honestly i'm so happy that all the veilguard companions will be romanceable bc bioware are so talented at making me fall in love with characters & then making them unromanceable either to women or at all (except for isabela!) like:

origins: tried to romance morrigan, ended up in the most queer-coded homoerotic female friendship imaginable. tried to romance anora, got nowhere

awakening: tried to romance velanna, w similar results to morrigan, albeit for the other reason (no romance in awakening)

dragon age ii: successfully romanced isabela, gaining false hope for inquisition

inquisition: tried to romance vivienne, got laughed out of skyhold

[theburiedgay]

The amazing d+d campaign of the last 2 semesters is over, I feel like all our characters got the endings they wanted, I'm really really going to miss the DM and I told the other players I'll DM a campaign next semester we'll see who actually joins, and, and, and, and, well, I'm going to keep in touch with the um player who was um playing the character who um my character ended up together with um.

[ozzgin]

saw a post that said " *a door in my house opening on its own* me: fascinating. the temperature differences between these two rooms must be quite high to create that kind of pressure the ghost haunting me: *slamming his head against the wall* i hate you i hate you i hate you " that would be so funny if the ghost was a yandere and their loml is an idiot who thinks theyre smart dontcha think 😭😭😭

A ghost who has hopelessly fallen in love with the new owner, and a ridiculously oblivious Reader who constantly foils his plans.

It started discreetly, you see. He didn't want to terrify you. He was going to subtly let you know of his existence, as well as his romantic intentions. Except, well...quite frankly, you're a dumbass.

"Are you sure this is normal?"

One of your friends, presently visiting, is eyeing the door. With an eerie groan of the hinges, the door opens and slams itself at random intervals. The friend pats the cold sweat away with a handkerchief.

"Yeah, I saw a YouTube video about it. I won't bore you with technical details," you explain, smugly, "but let's just say it involves temperature differences."

"Isn't the thermostat showing the same everywhere?"

You smile and nod thoughtfully.

"Physics, am I right?"

Clearly you need a bigger hint. Something grand, that won't leave an ounce of doubt in your mind. Consequently, you wake up to pure chaos: deep scratches tearing apart the walls, broken furniture, and bloody messages of sick, perverted love.

You stare at the disaster unfolding before you. With a quiet breath, you pick up a can that has rolled all the way to your foot. It's the flavored beer you had the night before.

"Three percent alcohol...Man. I really don't have it in me anymore, huh?"

You roll your sleeves, prepared to clean, and vow to never drink again.

Somewhere, in the depths of the house, a man weeps in silence. Good Lord, you're a lost cause.

Haunted House series: [Monster fucker Reader] | [Broke Reader]

[artficlly]

hi !! i love ur work <3

ok i had an idea for a one shot but it’s totally fine if u don’t want to do it!

so reader and bucky break up (bucky dumps her) bc he thinks she can do better or whatevs and instead of feeling sad, reader is kind of getting off to how bad bucky is doing without her 😜😜 this is obviously inspired by my kink is karma from chappell lmao. anyways ends in fluff or smut and a lot of how much bucky missed her 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️😛😛

thank uuu !!

BITTER [one-shot]

modern marvel au vet!bartender!bucky x reader Bucky doesn't do relationships, but maybe you'll be the one to change him

Warnings: 18+ content minors dni, fem reader, sexual themes, angst, hurt/comfort, major character death, ptsd, bucky barnes needs a hug, bucky barnes has issues, bar fights, alcohol, smoking, swearing, stucky (historical), no use of y/n, lmk if i've missed anything

Word Count: 8.2k

A/N: heya nonnie. this isn't exactlyyy what you asked for but i hope you like it anyway. i'm technically on hiatus rn but i felt bad leaving your ask unanswered for so long. i've been working on this between classes, i'm not super happy with it but i thought i'd post it anyway, it got a bit longer than i was expecting. i have like 5 million things due at the end of the month so i might be gone for a bit so here is a treat in the meantime! much love! ! sorry for any typos - not proof read.

permanent taglist: @civilbucky @globetrotter28 (i swear there was someone else who wanted to be added, pls let me know if that was you i lost your comment)

main masterlist

The first thing Wanda had told you about Bucky Barnes was to beware. 

Proceed with caution.

You were the type to fall in love easily, it was one of the first things you had confessed to Wanda, wine-drunk only a week after moving into her dodgy shoebox of an apartment, where the previous tenant's mail still showed up—and so did their debt collector. You were new in the city, bright-eyed and overly romantic about all you encountered, including the suspicious stains on the carpet courtesy of Wanda’s old roommate, who she only referred to as ‘that nightmarish cunt’. Wanda was cool, chic yet edgy, her voice dripping a Slavic accent and always armed with a dangerous look in her eye. She worked downtown as a sous chef at one of those mid-tier restaurants that you considered fancy, but anyone even marginally higher than your pay grade wouldn’t look twice. 

Her boyfriend, Sam, worked at a bar across the road. Howling Commandos. He co-owned it with his buddy, the infamous Bucky Barnes. They had met while serving in the army, both retiring early from service. Sam was discharged after an injury that rendered him ‘useless’, and Bucky was discharged shortly after on grounds of mental health. 

And maybe that was the allure—the myth of Bucky Barnes. 

He was handsome, dark-haired, blue-eyed, the usual fairy-tale rom-com affair. He was brooding, damaged goods, and had a real chip on his shoulder since his discharge. He poured a good drink, kept the bar running smoothly, and was big enough to intimidate drunk frat boys who occasionally wandered in looking for a fight. But apparently, he didn’t do relationships. He would fuck anything that moved if it caught his fleeting attention for long enough, but that was it. 

Wanda had confessed it all to you on that dreaded wine-drunk night, hummus and carrot sticks forgotten as the TV blared Wanda’s Spotify playlist on loop. She’d had a friend, one who had moved away now, but that friend had slept with Bucky. Said it was the best lay of her life. 

So, Wanda had said, voice dipped as she gave you a drunken, sloppy grin over her Pinot Gris, the two bottles she had pinched from work now empty. If you want the night of your life, go for it, but don’t expect anything more. 

That was the rule with Bucky Barnes:

Don’t get attached. 

So, maybe foolishly, when Wanda had roused you from a hangover-induced nap the following day by asking if you wanted to join her at the Howling Commandos and continue your bender from the night before, you had taken the leap. 

–

Howling Commandos didn’t exactly roll out the welcome mat.

It had the look of a place that had seen one too many late nights and even more bad decisions. Exposed brick walls, low-hanging lights that shrouded the room in a dim orange glow, and a row of pool tables tucked in the back behind a collection of stained wood tables and chairs.  It was edgy, kind of dark and mysterious, much like the infamous bartender who now stood before you in the flesh. 

You and Wanda had descended upon the bar at half-past nine, arms linked, laughter spilling between you. You’d gelled quickly—your soft, unguarded friendliness balancing out her wicked smirks and razor-edged sarcasm.

She swung into a barstool with the ease of someone who belonged here, peeling off her winter coat and tossing it onto the counter, shaking the snow from her auburn hair. Across from her, Bucky barely spared her a glance, his mouth set in a line that could have been annoyance or indifference.

“Wanda.” His voice was low, unimpressed.

That was all he said. No hello, no warmth. Just her name, like it was something to be tolerated.

Wanda only grinned, leaning her elbows onto the bar like she had all the time in the world.

“Sam’s out back,” Bucky added, eyes flicking toward the door before sliding right past her, landing on you instead. “Still picking up strays, I see.”

You grinned before you could help yourself, slipping into the seat next to Wanda. As you shrugged off your coat, neatly sliding it into your lap, Wanda let out a mock-horrified gasp on your behalf. 

“So rude, this is my new roommate.” Wanda’s eyes slid over to you, head tilting as she gestured towards the scowling Bucky. “And this dickhead is Bucky. He’s co-owner with Sam.”

“I remember.” You replied with ease, your gaze and smile unwavering even as Bucky gave a noncommittal grunt, turning away to continue polishing the glass in his palm. 

Wanda, unbothered by his callousness, leant in. “I’m going to be honest, I need a drink ASAP. I’ve got an awful headache, and you know what I always say! Best way to beat a hangover? Drink even more.”

“Does Sam know you’re an alcoholic?” Bucky cut back, not even bothering to turn around. 

“Awwh, Buck, is that genuine care?”

“Not for you.” Bucky snipped.

Wanda made a mock pout face, fingers drumming across the bar. “But seriously, put me out of my misery here—”

“Your usual?” He cut over her.

Wanda didn’t skip a beat. 

“Pretty please,” she purred, her tone sweet and syrupy, dripping with exaggerated charm. As she settled more comfortably into the stool, her gaze flicked to you with a knowing gleam. “What do you want? On the house.”

Before you could respond, Sam’s voice rang out, thick with amused exasperation. “Baby, you can’t go offering drinks on the house to everyone—” He appeared from the back, a box of bottled spirits cradled in his arms,

“She’s my roommate—” Wanda began, but Sam cut her off, raising an eyebrow as he set the box down with a thud.

“Oh yeah? I haven’t forgotten the last one that you also insisted could have free drinks, and she turned out to be—”

“Don’t! Don’t bring up that cunt—”

You tuned out the conversation as Wanda slipped from her seat, weaving around the bar with the kind of effortless grace that came with knowing she belonged. She leaned into Sam’s space without hesitation, her laughter slipping through the low hum of the bar, threading between the murmur of voices and the scratchy tune spilling from the jukebox in the corner.

It wasn’t until Bucky slid a glass of dark liquor across the bar—precisely where Wanda had been sitting—that you finally tore your gaze away from them.

His eyes found yours, expectant, unmoving.

“It’s okay, I can pay,” you assured him, reaching for your wallet, but his unimpressed stare didn’t waver. His silence stretched, almost as if he were waiting for you to back down first.

You didn’t. “Gin and tonic.”

No acknowledgement, not even a nod. He simply turned, reaching for the bottle of gin without a word.

Wanda reappeared beside you, collapsing back into her seat with a dramatic sigh, a sound that quickly dissolved into a giggle as Sam pressed a quick kiss to her cheek on his way past. The small moment of affection made you smile, your gaze trailing after him as he made his way toward the pool tables. He moved with familiarity, exchanging greetings with the patrons, his presence met with easy grins and back pats.

“He’s cute,” you hummed, watching him settle into the space like he owned it.

“I know, right?” Wanda smirked, pulling her drink closer.

You propped an elbow on the bar, your curiosity piqued. “How’d you meet?”

She took a slow sip, savouring the taste before setting the glass down. It looked like rum and coke. Smelt like it too. “He used to come to my work all the time when they were fixing up this place. We just got to talking one day and—”

Bucky set your drink in front of you with the same quiet precision as before, cutting off Wanda’s sentence mid-thought. You turned your attention back to him, offering a bright smile that didn’t falter, even as he met it with a frown.

“I’ve never liked those,” Wanda barely spared him a glance, instead eyeing your drink with mild disdain. “Not sweet enough for me.”

“Well, I like my drinks how I like my men,” you replied, the words coming with a smirk that you directed toward Bucky, holding his gaze longer than you probably should have. “Bitter.”

—

Shivering in the back alley by the dumpsters probably wasn’t your brightest idea, but at this point, you were committed.

You and Wanda had knocked back one too many drinks—again. It was becoming a habit, one that Sam was starting to take personally, considering he was the one who had to cut Wanda off after she got a little too liberal with her chatting and nearly convinced a stranger to let her wear his coat home. You, on the other hand, had managed to slip out gracefully, settling your tab before Wanda was carted out back to be babysat and force-fed water.

Neither of them had been thrilled at the idea of you walking home alone. Buzzed, barely dressed for the weather, and just reckless enough to make poor decisions, you’d assured them you were fine. Which, technically, was true. What you had failed to mention was that you hadn’t actually made it more than a few feet out the door before deciding to truly test the limits of your dignity.

The cigarette hanging from your lips wobbled slightly as you tried—unsuccessfully—to light it with numb fingers. You swore under your breath, stuffing the useless lighter back into your pocket just as the back door of Howling Commandos swung open.

And as fate—or some cruel, all-seeing god—would have it, it wasn’t Sam or Wanda who stepped outside.

Bucky emerged, a black trash bag slung over one shoulder, his usual scowl fixed in place. His stride slowed slightly when he caught sight of you, his expression unreadable.

“Thought you went home,” he muttered. “Sam and Wanda already left. If you need a ride, I can call you a cab.”

You tilted your head, watching as he moved, efficient, mechanical. The back door groaned shut behind him, its echo swallowed by the muffled city noise beyond the alley. Dumpster lid up, bag tossed in, blue eyes flicking back to you, waiting.

“I don’t need a ride.”

His gaze swept over you, unimpressed. “Sure about that? You look outta your damn mind right now.”

You exhaled, breath clouding the frigid air as you shoved your hands deeper into your coat pockets. The wind bit through the alleyway, slithering beneath the fur-trimmed collar and creeping up your spine.

“Well, when I had this brilliant idea, I was still drunk,” you admitted, shifting your weight on unsteady legs. “Now that alcohol’s worn off and it’s cold as shit, I can’t even fuckin’ light a smoke ‘cause my hands are shaking so bad.”

You lifted your fingers to prove your point, stiff and trembling from the cold, flashing him a lazy grin. He did not look impressed.

“This a cry for help? I don’t know what it is with Wanda and picking up crazy fuckin’ roommates—”

“I wanted to get your number.” You shrugged, unbothered by the scepticism in his tone. “Didn’t want to do it in the bar, figured you’re a private kinda guy, don’t like putting your business out for the world. I can respect that.”

He blinked, once. Then, slowly, “So you thought the next best option was to wait in a back alley in the snow—?”

“Hey,” you cut him off with a laugh, shifting your weight against the wall. “I said I was drunk when I came up with it… never said it was a good plan.”

Something flickered across his expression. Dry amusement, maybe. Then, to your surprise, he huffed out a short laugh, his breath visible in the cold air curling between you.

You smirked. “C’mon, I’ve been out here for like… an hour. Least you can do is give me your number.”

He took his time looking you over, slow and assessing. Despite the heavy winter coat hanging off your shoulders, you were still grossly underdressed for the weather. The short, tight-fitting dress clung to you like a second skin, courtesy of Wanda’s slut-shaming is sooo 2016 speech. A poor choice in hindsight, considering the temperature was bordering on unbearable.

“I’ll do you one better.”

You arched a brow. “Yeah?”

His voice dipped lower, something rougher curling at the edges. “How about I lock up, and you sit your pretty little ass in my car? I’ll drive you back to mine.” A beat. “Sound good?”

Now, this was the Bucky Barnes Wanda had described—the dangerous one, the elusive ladykiller. The shift had been minuscule, yet you already found your panties were wet.

You smiled. “Well, now you’re talking my language.”

—

"We should stop seeing each other."

Bucky sat hunched on the edge of his bed, forearms braced against his knees, fingers laced tightly together as if he were holding himself back. He didn’t look at you. His jaw was set, his mouth a firm line, but that wasn’t what unsettled you—it was the tension in his shoulders, the restless bounce of his leg, the way he exhaled through his nose like he was already regretting this conversation.

That first night had been the spark, but the fire never quite burned out. It carried on in flickering embers, nights tangled in his sheets, the weight of him pressing you into the mattress, bodies moving in time with the city’s restless heartbeat. If you had to put a name to it, fuck buddies was the closest fit, though even that felt too familiar, too warm. There were no tender morning-afters, no texts outside of arranging the next meeting. You met him in the alley after closing and let him drive you back to his place. Though sometimes, you never made it that far. Sometimes, it was the backseat of his car, windows fogged, streetlights streaking across his skin as you clawed at his shoulders. Other times, it was rushed and desperate, your palms braced against crates in the storeroom, breath hitching between half-suppressed moans before either of you had the sense to lock the damn door.

But as winter thawed into spring, something shifted.

The first crack in the foundation came when Bucky, against all odds, accepted your half-hearted invite to grab a bite to eat. You’d won a cheap voucher for a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place around the corner from the bar, fully expecting him to wave you off. But he hadn’t. And somehow, the two of you had ended up crammed into a booth, sharing a pile of nachos, snickering into your drinks as you watched a group of college kids make absolute fools of themselves. You wouldn’t have called it a date—Bucky sure as hell didn’t—but something about it felt different. Easier. The way he’d nudged his plate toward you when he noticed you eyeing his last taco. The way he leaned just a little too close, voice dropping low in your ear, murmuring some dry remark that made you snort into your margarita.

You weren’t sure when the line blurred. Maybe it was when your not-date nights became just as routine as your hookups. Or maybe it was at Wanda’s birthday dinner when Bucky—without thinking, without hesitation—draped his arm across the back of your chair, fingers tracing slow, absentminded circles against the bare skin of your shoulder. You hadn’t even noticed at first, too caught up in conversation, but Wanda and Sam sure as hell had. They shared a look, one of those wordless exchanges, tight-lipped and knowing. Like they were bracing for the inevitable. Like they could already see the fallout creeping on the horizon.

And they were right.

Because after a year of effortless, reckless bliss, Bucky finally reached his limit.

You should’ve seen it coming. Should’ve known that letting Wanda rope you into planning his surprise birthday party was a mistake. That something so personal, so full of effort, would make him withdraw. It was all too much. Too close. Too intimate for someone who spent his life keeping people at arm’s length.

And just like that, the fire snuffed out.

Your grip tightened around the box in your hands, the crinkling of the wrapping paper comically loud in the quiet room. The laughter and chatter from the party outside felt like a world away, muffled through the walls of his bedroom. You had pulled him aside to give him his present in private, and now it sat between you like a hand grenade, pin already pulled, waiting for the explosion.

“Are you going to open your present? Hand-picked by yours truly, I made sure not to let Sam meddle with those prank gifts of his—” You ignored his words, shoving the brightly wrapped box towards him. He barely glanced at it before waving it off, his scowl deepening.

“Did you even hear what I said?” Bucky interrupted you, expression nowhere near impressed

“Jesus, Bucky. Are you serious?” The sigh that left you was excessive, the once bubbly and sweet aura you wrapped yourself up in so tightly melting away in an instant. 

You should have known.

He had been off all week. Distant, restless. He’d stopped waiting for you in the back alley after his shifts ended, ignored your texts, and let your calls go to voicemail. Hell, he hadn’t even invited you over to fuck in two weeks, and that was the foundation of whatever this was between you. You’d told yourself it was the late winter blues—snow had been falling thick for weeks now even with spring looming closer by the day. Maybe, you had told yourself, it was some kind of early mid-life crisis with his birthday looming.

But deep down, you’d known better. You’d felt it in the way he couldn’t meet your eyes anymore, how his touch had cooled from burning to indifferent. It was like a switch had flipped, turning lust into something close to disgust.

“I’m serious,” Bucky said, exhaling like the conversation had already exhausted him. He rubbed a hand down his face, eyes fixed somewhere past your shoulder as if looking at you would make this harder. Or maybe easier. “We should stop… whatever this is.”

The present now sat on the bed, abandoned between you. You placed it down with deliberate care, fingers smoothing over the edges as you mulled over his words. Beyond the walls, the party raged on, voices rising in drunken harmony as Sweet Caroline blared over the speakers. A chorus of shouts—touchin’ me, touchin’ you—mocked the silence stretching between you.

You knew there was no point in arguing, not when Bucky had already made up his mind, disillusioned or not. But the question still burned its way up your throat before you could stop it, raw and sharp as you met his gaze.

“Why?”

His brows furrowed. “Why?”

However he had expected you to react, this clearly wasn’t it. Maybe he thought you’d cry. Maybe he thought you’d yell. But you had never been the type for tears or begging. You just wanted the truth. The cold, ruthless reason why this wasn’t working anymore.

“Yes. Why? What’s changed?”

Bucky hesitated, something flickering across his face. Hesitation, regret, guilt, maybe all three. Then, his jaw tensed, and he forced the words out like they tasted bitter on his tongue.

“You’re… You’re just too much. You’re too much for me.”

Your head tilted slightly, observing him. He still wouldn’t meet your eye.

“Too much, huh?” You echoed, voice steady despite the way your stomach twisted. “And how exactly am I too much?”

He sighed, exasperated. “You’re just… overbearing. You always want to text or call, or stop by the bar. You’re always asking after me with Sam and Wanda. It’s all just a little too much, doll. This was supposed to be a casual thing.” His fingers flexed at his sides, his frustration palpable. “You’re just—”

“So, you’re punishing me because I care?”

“That’s not what I’m saying—”

“Then what are you saying, Bucky?” Your voice sharpened, and your patience unravelling. “That I’m clingy? That I’m suffocating you? Is it such a crime that I want to spend time with you—”

“You’re just—fuckin’ everywhere.” His voice rose, and you arched a brow, arms folding over your chest. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I swear to God. Every thought I have, everything I do—you’re there. I dream about you. And sometimes, I swear I smell that goddamn perfume of yours even when you’re not around—”

“Bucky.” You took a step forward, searching his face for something, anything. “Have you ever considered that maybe this is happening because you like me? Not because I’m some overbearing burden in your life—”

His lips pressed into a thin line, his entire body stiff.

“I don’t do relationships.”

You let out a dry, humourless laugh, shaking your head. “So, what then? You’re just gonna cut me off? I got too close, didn’t I? Too close to you—to the real you, the one you hide under all that brooding, tough-guy bullshit—so now you’re pushing me away?”

Bucky’s jaw twitched, but he said nothing.

You exhaled sharply, your patience splintering under the weight of his silence. “You know, Wanda warned me this would happen. Sam too. Hell, just about everyone out there did.” You gestured vaguely toward the door, toward the muffled chaos of the party beyond his bedroom. Laughter and music seeped through the walls. “Your friends, your colleagues. They all warned me. Guess I’m the idiot for thinking it’d be different, huh?”

His gaze flickered. A barely-there flinch. You pressed on.

“They told me you throw people away when they get too attached.” Your voice softened, but not with kindness, with something hollow, something resigned. “Or worse, when you do.”

His breath hitched, so quick and so subtle that if you hadn’t been watching him so closely, you would’ve missed it. But you saw it: the crack, the hesitation, the battle waging behind those sharp blue eyes.

For a second, it almost looked like he might break. Like he might finally say what he was really thinking.

But then, just as quickly as it appeared, the moment was gone. His expression hardened, every ounce of warmth draining from his face.

“I don’t need you.”

And just like that, the last ember of hope inside you burned out.

You swallowed against the ache in your throat, but your voice came steady, unwavering. “Is that the truth?” you asked, tilting your head slightly. “Or are you just telling yourself that to feel better?”

His eyes darkened, and this time, there was no hesitation.

“Get out.”

—

You weren’t sure why you came back to the Howling Commandos.

You were beginning to suspect that Wanda and Sam were scheming something. She was constantly begging you to visit the bar every night off she had with the promise of free liquor. It had taken a few weeks after Bucky’s birthday meltdown for you to finally budge. Maybe it was the way Wanda had pulled you along, her arm hooked through yours like she could drag you away from the weight of it all. Maybe it was the way she made you laugh, tipping her head back, auburn hair catching in the bar’s dim light, her wicked look as she shrugged off her coat and flung it onto the counter. Maybe it was because you knew he would be here.

And, maybe, just maybe, you wanted that.

Bucky stood behind the bar, sleeves rolled to his forearms, jaw tight as he poured a whiskey neat without looking up. He must’ve heard you come in like he always did, but his eyes never once lifted from his work.

You perched upon one of the barstools beside Wanda, the wood sticky beneath your elbows, the orange glow from the bar’s lights catching in the condensation on your glass. A gin and tonic. No words exchanged, no request needed, just Bucky’s hand sliding it across the table without so much as a glance in your direction.

It was almost funny, the way he refused to look at you, wouldn’t acknowledge you beyond the ghost of a touch as his fingers brushed the glass. And yet, he still remembered your drink. Still took the time to slice a bit of lemon for the rim, just the way you liked it. Never mind that he’d once grumbled about how much he hated customers who ordered anything that meant extra cleanup at the end of the night.

“You gonna sulk all night or actually have fun?” Wanda teased, knocking her knee against yours.

You took a slow sip, letting the cool burn of gin settle on your tongue before answering. “I am having fun.”

“Sure you are,” she drawled, not buying it for a second.

But the night wasn’t all bad. You were feeling good, maybe a little too good, laughing at Sam’s exaggerated retelling of a story you’d already heard a dozen times, Wanda snorting into her rum, the buzz settling in like a second skin.

But the uneasy peace did not last long, as chaos had a way of following Bucky Barnes like his own shadow.

Two guys, a little too confident, a little too eager. You felt them before you even turned, whiskey on their breath, a practiced smirk tugging at the lips. The kind of men who smelled like cheap aftershave and overconfidence, sliding into your space with easy grins and empty compliments. One leaned in too close. “Didn’t think someone like you would be drinking alone.”

You arched a brow. “Who says I’m alone?”

He took the bait, smirking. “That right? Where’s your boyfriend, then?”

“Don’t have one.” You replied, tone disinterested.

He grasped your arm, and you yanked it away, nearly elbowing Wanda beside you in the process. “Oh yeah? I could change that for you sweetheart—” 

You didn’t have time to answer before you saw the bar flap shoot up in your peripherals. 

“Hey, man,” Sam warned, barely getting the words out before Bucky was there, a cloud at the edge of your vision, muscles wound tight beneath his shirt. He wasn’t looking at you, not really, but you could feel the storm rolling off him in waves, the tension singing through his frame.

The guy didn’t even have time to react before Bucky shoved him back—hard enough to knock him off balance, sending his drink sloshing onto the floor.

“The fuck?” Whiskey-breath scowled, stumbling forward like he thought he had a chance.

Bucky stepped in, jaw clenched, fist already curled like a promise. His voice was smooth, even. “Out. Now.”

The guy scoffed, straightening. “Oh yeah? What are you, the bouncer?”

“Nah.” Bucky tilted his head. “I fuckin’ own the place.”

Sam was rounding the bar, slipping beneath the bar flap. “One rule, Bucky! We have one rule!”

“No assholes in the bar?” Bucky deadpanned, flexing his fingers.

“No. No punching customers—hey!”

Too late.

The first punch landed with a sickening crack, sharp enough to slice through the low hum of conversation. A brief, stunned silence settled over the bar, glasses paused mid-air, a cue ball rolling to a stop on the felt. Then, a gasp. A sharp inhale. Someone let out a bark of laughter.

The guy staggered back, clutching his jaw, blinking like he couldn’t quite process what had just happened. But instead of learning his lesson, he surged forward, swinging blindly in a desperate attempt to save face.

The impact came from the right. A solid hit, knuckles cutting against Bucky’s brow. His head snapped slightly to the side, strands of dark hair falling loose from where they’d been tucked behind his ears. The second punch followed fast—less precise, more frantic—but it clipped him along the cheekbone, just enough to split the skin.

A thin trail of red welled up, tracking down the sharp line of his face.

Bucky stilled.

A slow, dangerous exhale. Then, before the guy could so much as blink, Bucky struck. A brutal, efficient one-two, fist slamming into ribs, then an upward cut that sent the man sprawling. His friend hesitated, torn between pride and self-preservation, before grabbing a fistful of his collar and dragging him toward the door.

Bucky flexed his fingers, shaking out his hand like he was testing for damage, like he barely felt it. The cut above his brow was bleeding, a slow trickle of crimson trailing towards his temple, but he didn’t seem to notice. Or care.

You took a sip of your drink, eyes flicking lazily towards him, your pulse not even kicking up. Beside you, Wanda didn’t so much as blink; she just swirled the last of her rum and coke, watching the scene unfold like it was a rerun of a show she’d seen too many times before.

Finally, with a knowing smirk, she leaned in, voice low and honey-smooth. “You’re getting off on this, aren’t you?”

You swirled your gin and tonic, ice clinking against the glass, lips curling around the rim as you took another sip.

“Maybe.”

—

The back room was cold, the kind of cold that settled deep in the bones, seeping through the exposed brick walls. A single bulb hung overhead, casting a dim, yellow glow over the stacked crates of liquor and the metal shelves lined with bottles. You’d been in here many times, though usually under much more pleasurable circumstances. Bucky sat on an overturned crate, elbows on his knees, blood drying along the ridge of his knuckles. His head was tipped slightly forward, shoulders hunched as he rolled one of his split knuckles between his fingers, like he was testing if it still hurt. 

You shut the door behind you.

His jaw tightened. “Don’t.”

You ignored him, stepping past the crates and grabbing the first aid kit off the nearest shelf. “Sit up straight.”

He didn’t move.

So, with a sigh, you pressed a firm hand to his shoulder and shoved him upright. He let it happen, though he shot you an unamused look as he exhaled sharply through his nose.

“Jesus, you’re pushy.”

You crouched in front of him, flipping open the first aid kit, the sharp scent of antiseptic filling the air. He watched as you poured alcohol onto a clean cloth, soaking it through before pressing it against the cut above his brow.

Bucky flinched, fingers twitching like he wanted to grab your wrist, to stop you. But he didn’t.

“Hold still,” you murmured, dabbing at the wound.

His lip curled slightly, but he stayed put, letting you clean the blood away. His fists clenched on his thighs, shoulders wound tight like he was waiting for something worse.

“You know,” you said, voice light despite the weight in the air, “I heard from Wanda you’ve been losing it lately.”

Bucky huffed. “Yeah?”

“She said you’ve been missing shifts, and when you do turn up, you’re, uh…” You smirked, twisting the cloth to clean the edge of his jaw. “Well, these are her words, not mine—a miserable old cunt. Keep picking fights with customers.” You paused, waiting to see his response. His lips remained sown shut, his gaze cold, and he did not quite meet your eye. With an arch of your brow, you continued.

“Apparently, someone broke into your car, and you’re getting kicked out of your apartment because your landlord wants to sell it to some construction assholes.” You tilted your head, studying him. “I mean, some of that isn’t your fault, but it sounds like karma to me.”

Bucky’s fingers flexed. “Why do you care, doll?”

“I don’t,” you said easily, wringing out the cloth before pressing it against his brow again. “It’s like… watching a car wreck. Kind of captivating in a way.”

He let out a short, humourless laugh. “You’re fucked up.”

“Yeah, maybe I am.” You shrugged, barely glancing at him as you grabbed another clean cloth. “But I think, deep down, maybe I just pity you.”

Bucky’s expression darkened. “Why are you so normal about all of this? Aren’t you the one that’s supposed to be, I don’t know, freaking out? I was the one who dropped you, not the other way around.”

You paused, the cloth still pressed to his skin. You considered his words, then slowly and calmly, you replied. “It’s your own heart that you’re breaking, baby.”

Bucky’s jaw tensed. “You don’t know that.”

“I think I do.”

His lips parted like he was about to argue, but instead, he exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “You don’t know shit about me.”

You sat back on your heels, observing him. The bruises were darkening across his cheekbones, his knuckles still raw, and his body shuddering from the aftermath. But beneath it all—under the cold defiance and the sharp edges—you saw it. The weight of something unspoken, something he wouldn’t admit to himself.

You hummed, tilting your head. “I know a lot.”

Bucky’s gaze flickered to you, wary.

“I know that you take your coffee black, your whiskey neat,” you said, voice soft. “That you always make your bed because it’s a habit from when you served. You prefer to drive stick. You’re a cat person.” 

You held his gaze, watching the way his fingers curled. “I know that you wear two sets of dog tags. That there are ghosts following you that you don’t talk about. I know that you realised you were getting attached to me. That it scared you so badly you dropped me the moment it clicked.”

“I know that you still ask after me,” you finished, your voice barely above a whisper. “I know that deep down, you care about me.”

Silence settled between you. 

Bucky stared at his hands, dried blood caking along the ridges of his knuckles. He was still for a long time, so long you thought maybe he wasn’t going to respond at all. 

“This… this thing between us.” His voice was rough. “It was a fling. Nothing more. A moment in time, not to be repeated.”

You inhaled slowly, disappointment evident, then stood.

With an easy motion, you tossed the bloodied rag onto a nearby crate.

“Keep telling yourself that,” you murmured, stepping back.

Bucky looked up at you, something flickering behind his eyes, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t have to.

You just smiled.

“Because I know,” you said simply, turning toward the door, “that in the end, you’ll come crawling back to me.”

“I won’t.”

You glanced over your shoulder, the corners of your lips curling.

“Okay.”

—

The cemetery was quiet, save for the whisper of wind through bare branches and the distant hum of traffic beyond the iron gates. The last bite of winter still clung to the air, spring struggling to take hold, leaving the sky an endless stretch of pale grey.

You pulled your coat tighter around yourself as you stepped out of Sam’s car, boots crunching against the gravel path. Wanda climbed out from the passenger side, rubbing her arms against the cold, while Sam exhaled sharply, tilting his head towards the small gathering of headstones up ahead.

“He’s already here,” he murmured.

Bucky stood with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, his back to you, his head slightly bowed toward the grave. Even from a distance, there was a tension in the way he held himself—like he was bracing for impact or maybe just trying to keep from unravelling.

You tightened your grip on the flowers in your hand and followed Sam and Wanda towards him.

Bucky didn’t turn when you approached, but you saw his shoulders shift, the slight tensing of his jaw when he realised there was one more person than expected. He still didn’t say anything, though, just kept his eyes on the headstone.

Steve Rogers.

The name was carved deep into the stone, clean and straightforward. No rank, no medals, no accolades. Just a name. A man who had meant something to them.

You hadn’t even known Steve existed until Sam mentioned him offhand a few days ago, his voice softer than usual, the usual humour dimmed. He hadn’t given many details—just that Steve was an old friend, someone he and Bucky had served with, and that the anniversary of his death was coming up. It hadn’t been an invitation, just a passing remark, but something about it stuck with you. Maybe it was the way Sam glanced at Bucky afterwards, concern hidden beneath his easygoing demeanour or the way Wanda’s expression darkened slightly like she’d been expecting it. You didn’t know anything about the man they were mourning, but you knew Bucky, and you knew the kind of grief that sat heavily on a person’s shoulders. Maybe you wanted to pay your respects. Perhaps you just wanted an excuse to get eyes on him, to see how bad the damage was. Either way, when Wanda and Sam left for the cemetery, you were in the car with them.

You stepped forward and crouched down, laying the flowers gently against the grave. The wind tugged at the petals as you stood, moving back beside Wanda, who sent you a glance but didn’t say a word.

Sam was the first to speak. “Damn, Steve. I hope you know we visit you even in the freezing fuckin’ cold.”

A small chuckle rumbled from Bucky’s chest, barely there. “Yeah.”

Sam exhaled, shaking his head. “You know, I think about that time in training when Bucky dared you to climb the roof of the barracks, and when you actually did it, Bucky nearly had a heart attack ‘cause you realised he’d have to go up there to get you down.”

Bucky huffed, shaking his head. “Idiot did a victory pose at the top. Almost fell straight off.”

Sam laughed. “Man, I wish we had taken a photo of you, dumbass.”

They fell into an easy rhythm, trading stories, some funny, some quiet and unspoken, shared only through small glances and nods. Wanda stood beside you, hands clasped in front of her, while you listened, letting them have their moment. She hadn’t known Steve either, just fragments of memories and stories Sam had told her over the years.

Eventually, the cold started to settle in deep, and Sam clapped his hands together. “Alright, I don’t know, but I think Steve would be personally offended if we froze our asses off standing here like idiots instead of heading home.”

Wanda nodded, already turning back toward the cars. You followed, but before you could take more than a few steps, Bucky spoke.

“I’ll take her home.”

The words were short, and clipped, but they made Wanda and Sam pause.

Sam lifted a brow, glancing between the two of you, then exchanged a look with Wanda, one of those unspoken conversations between lovers that didn’t need words.

But neither of them argued.

Sam just gave a small, knowing shrug and started toward his car. Wanda followed without a word, though you could’ve sworn the auburn gave you a subtle smirk.

You exhaled softly, then turned towards Bucky’s car.

The drive was quiet.

Outside, the world blurred past, fields and roads stretching under the grey sky. You kept your hands close to the vents, soaking in what little warmth the car offered, your fingers still stiff from the cold. Bucky’s grip on the wheel was tight, his knuckles pale. He was wound up, his shoulders rigid, and his jaw locked. The muscles in his forearms twitched as he shifted gears, and every so often, he exhaled sharply like he was biting back something sharp.

Minutes passed, the ghost of unspoken words swirling between you.

Then, suddenly—

“Fuck this.” Bucky muttered the words under his breath, his grip on the wheel tightening before he jerked the car off the highway. The tyres crunched over gravel as he turned onto a narrow backroad leading toward a small, empty picnic area near a river. The place was deserted, picnic tables dusted with half-melted frost. Too cold for anyone to be out.

You sat there, the hum of the engine the only sound between you. The sky outside had darkened, clouds pressing down low on the horizon as the river lazily wound its way through the mist. Bucky’s hands gripped the steering wheel with white-knuckled intensity, his eyes fixed on the view outside. 

“How did you know about Steve?” The question left his lips quietly, almost like an afterthought, but it was sharp all the same.

“Sam.” You hesitated for a moment, gathering your thoughts. “I kind of put the pieces together. It’s his dog tags you wear, right?” Your voice came out soft but steady.

Bucky gave a single, sharp nod. “Yeah.”

You sighed, glancing out the window for a brief second. The weight in his voice, the way he carried it like an old wound, told you this was something fragile, something that had never quite healed.

“I didn’t mean to intrude. I just…” You trailed off, the words dying on your tongue, uncertain, too small for the grief that lingered between you. Your gaze flickered to his, but he wasn’t looking at you.

His voice, when it came again, was quieter than before. “Steve... Steve, he wasn’t just my friend. He was my partner.”

Something inside you stilled. The breath you’d been meaning to take got caught in your chest. “You were… together? Dating?”

“Yeah.” His voice wavered, unsteady in a way that made your stomach twist. “We were, uh, in love, I guess.”

The words hit you like a cold gust, Something in your mind clicked into place, pieces of him you hadn’t understood suddenly making sense. You stared at him, taking in the way his brows furrowed, the way the crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes seemed more pronounced now, like he’d aged in the last few minutes.

“Did Sam know?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, jaw tight. “A few people did. His family, mine. A few friends.”

“I’m sorry.” You swallowed, trying to push past the lump forming in your throat. The words felt inadequate, almost meaningless. “I know my words don’t mean much or change anything, but I truly am sorry that you lost someone that important to you.”

He didn’t reply right away. Instead, his grip tightened on the steering wheel, knuckles whitening, the leather creaking beneath his hold. His eyes stayed locked on the river, but he wasn’t really seeing it. He was somewhere else.

Then, barely above a whisper, “He stood on a landmine.”

Bucky’s voice was rough, worn thin. “He was dead before… before he would have even realised he’d stepped on it. They never really recovered all of his body. He just kinda… turned into mist.”

You felt your stomach drop. A slow, creeping horror curled around your ribs, sinking its claws in deep. “You saw it?”

“Yeah.”

“Bucky, that’s horrific, I—”  You felt your words die in your throat. What was there to say? There was no comfort for something like that. No words that could make it hurt less.

Then, slowly, his head turned, an empty, haunted gaze meeting yours. “That coffin out there, it’s empty. We do this every year, but it’s like talking to the wind.”

The words were like a punch to the gut. You swallowed hard, your throat tight with the rawness of it. Slowly, you reached across the console, your fingers brushing against his arm. “He didn’t suffer.”

“No.” Bucky's voice broke for the first time. “No, I suppose I should be thankful for that.” A tear slipped down his cheek, and he wiped it away with a rough, almost impatient hand. But he didn’t pull away from your touch. Didn’t move to hide the way his hands shook, fingers still locked in a vice grip around the wheel.

You didn’t comment on it.

You kept your hand on his arm, a steady presence against the tension coiled beneath his skin. There was nothing to say—at least, nothing that would make any of it easier. He had already said enough, and you weren’t going to insult him by pretending there were magic words to fix it. So you simply stayed, grounding him in the quiet, hoping that maybe, just maybe, letting even a sliver of it out might lighten the weight he carried.

The silence stretched, thick but not uncomfortable, the kind that settled in the space between two people who understood each other without needing to fill the gaps with empty words. A sharp gust of wind rattled against the window, slipping through unseen cracks and sending a shiver down your spine, but you didn’t move. Neither did he.

Then, finally, after what felt like an eternity, Bucky turned his head, his gaze locking onto yours, raw, searching, like he was looking for something he wasn’t even sure existed. His throat bobbed, lips parting as he exhaled a slow, uneven breath. “I’m sorry.”

You blinked, taken aback. “For what?”

“How I’ve treated you these past few weeks.”

“Baby, you don’t need to apologise—”

“No, I do.” He interrupted tone tinged with frustration. “I… I realised that I cared for you. A lot. And it scared the shit out of me. After Steve, well, I swore I wouldn’t love again. I couldn’t… I couldn’t imagine going through that again. Or worse, if I died and left someone behind like that—”

You shook your head, cutting him off gently. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not though—” he began, but you interrupted him again, your voice calm, sure.

“I forgive you.”

Bucky went still, his expression unreadable for a moment as he processed your words. His jaw clenched, his eyes flicking between you and the river, as if weighing something in his mind.

A long, charged silence settled in. Then, just as you thought the moment would pass, he spoke, his voice quieter this time. “You’re sure?”

“Of course, I’m sure.” You smiled softly. “Listen. I didn’t know Steve, and I never will but… if he cared for you. If he loved you, he’d want you to be happy. He wouldn’t want you to shut yourself away from love, from feeling.”

“Honestly…” Bucky paused, sucking on his teeth. “Honestly, you’re probably right, doll.”

Bucky let out a slow breath, staring ahead like he was trying to gather his thoughts.

“I still don’t know how to do this,” he admitted, voice quiet. “Loving someone. Letting someone love me.”

You smiled softly, tilting your head. “Good thing I’m patient.”

He huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, that much is obvious.” Bucky glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, something unreadable flickering across his expression. Then, almost too softly to hear, “I want to try.”

You reached over, lacing your fingers through his. “Then we’ll figure it out together.”

His grip tightened, just for a second like he was anchoring himself to you. And then, as if realising how ridiculous he sounded, he let out a low laugh, disbelief lacing his tone. “You’re too good for me, doll.”

“Hmm, maybe.” You giggled, leaning towards him, resting your forehead against his shoulder for a brief moment, letting the warmth between you settle. “I think I’ll stick around, though.”

“Yeah?” His voice held a tinge of uncertainty like he was testing the waters. His arm shifted, moving from the wheel to pull you closer to his side. “I haven’t scared you off?”

You tilted your head to look up at him, grinning. “I think you’d have to try a little harder to do that.”

He held you closer, his voice softer now, almost hesitant. “So…” He paused, his breath hitching as if the words were caught in his throat. “Would you stick around… as my girlfriend?”

You jolted up, eyes widening in surprise. “Did the Bucky Barnes just ask me—”

“Shush, you.” He chuckled, cutting you off, his finger moving to gently press against your lips.

You smiled, pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek, and he tugged you in closer, his grip firm but not demanding. His lips found yours, slow at first, testing—like he was still convincing himself this was okay, that he could have this. But as you melted into him, your fingers curling against the fabric of his jacket, something shifted. His hand slid up your back, anchoring you against him, his lips warm, sure, moving against yours with a quiet intensity.

You sighed into him, your breath mingling with his, the space between you disappearing until there was nothing but the press of his body, the soft scrape of his stubble against your skin. His fingers skimmed the nape of your neck, tilting your head slightly, and he kissed you again, slower this time, savouring it like he wanted to memorise the way you felt against him.

The world outside blurred, the hum of the car engine distant, unimportant. There was only this, only him, his warmth, the quiet, desperate way he held you like he was afraid to let go.

When you pulled away, Bucky let out a sharp sigh as if something inside him had finally relaxed. “Thank god, it would be kind of awkward if you didn’t—”

You silenced him with another kiss, and for the first time in what felt like forever, everything felt right.

A spark reignited. 

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

Can you do headcanons for a young child reader who constantly follows jax around, loves physical affection, and thinks jax is their 'dad'?

(Obviously this request is plantonic, not romantic!)

I think I might've went a little overboard with this one! Way longer than most of my posts but I guess that isn't really a bad thing ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Jax unwillingly becomeing a parent

★ His first and only question was how the hell did a four year old get in this situation. The headset should have been way out of reach for you. Questions that will never be answered, I guess.

★ After making you cry the first time he spoke to you he tried to steer clear of you. That worked out horribly because you seemed to want to always be near him. Much to everyone's confusion.

★ "oh my! Looks like the little one has taken an interest in you!" Was Cain's response to seeing you huddled up near Jax. At some point he gets a child harness to keep you in his line of sight. It's just easier this way.

★ By the way he didn't mean to make you cry, he just didn't know how young you were and said something he would've said to an adult. Kids cry easily, what are you gonna do?

★ Jax stole a few pillows from Kinger for you to sleep with. Yes, you don't technically need to sleep but he's not going to tell you that. Nap time is one of the only times he can get a moment to himself.

★ He gets beyond pissed when you get woken up during nap time. To the point where he's barely keeping it together and wants to beat whoever woke you up with a chair leg.

★ If you want to be picked up, then he's picking you up. It doesn't matter if he's talking to somebody or doing something. You'll get picked up while he's doing something and without missing a beat he'll continue like nothing happened.

★ Instead of giving you the usual Jax treatment, he just tells you the most outlandish lies while trying to convince you that they are true. Sometimes he tells you something that sounds so true you don't question his bullshit.

There's a list of things he's told you!

If you push down on Ragatha's nose it will make a honking noise.

There's a secret room hidden in a closet filled with veggies for people who are allergic to meat.

Birds aren't real.

When he was your age, he was a year older. (It took you a moment to figure that one out)

Caine is the tooth fairy.

★ Jax isn't known for his empathy, but he does feel conflicted when you talk about small details from your life before meeting him. What color your house was, the lullabies your mother sang and the books you used to be read. It all makes him think.

★ You're family might be looking for you, not knowing where you are and that you're trapped. Do you even realize this? They probably think you're dead, that something terrible happened to you. Those thoughts make his stomach sink.

★ If he cares about you this much he can only imagine the grief your family feels. You will forever be a blissfully ignorant child not knowing the truth of what's really going on.

[writer-freak]

Twst birthday headcanons

Characters: Leona, Vil, Idia, Lilia and Cater

A/n: So today is my birthday!!!! And I wrote some headcanons for my favorite twst boys and how they celebrate with you <3

Leona Kingscholar

You wake up with Leona's arms around you, sunlight barely shining through the curtains because he made sure they were drawn shut the night before. He’s not a morning person, and if it were up to him, you wouldn’t get out of bed at all.

"Tch. You’re already awake? Go back to sleep, it’s your birthday. No one’s expectin’ you to be up this early." He grumbles, pulling you closer.

Eventually, after lots of coaxing (and maybe a few bribes in the form of kisses), you are able get out of bed.

Leona’s not the type for big parties, but he does something thoughtful in his own way, like making Ruggie organize you a romantic picnic in the botanical garden. He doesn’t even complain when you take loads of pictures with him.

The day ends with you lying in bed the same as that morning, Leona holding you in his arms, muttering one last “Happy birthday, herbivore,” before drifting off to sleep.

Vil Schoenheit

Vil insists that you start your birthday right, which means waking up in silk sheets, with a a perfect breakfast that is perfect in taste, aesthetic and nutrition because you only deserve the best.

He personally supervises every step of your morning routine, making sure your skin is flawless and that you’re as radiant as ever. "It’s your day, and I won’t have you looking anything less than perfect."

You’re going to to be pampered the entire day (even more than usual). A shopping trip? A spa day? A private dinner with an exclusive menu? He’s thought of everything.

His gift is something incredibly personalized, maybe a fragrance he designed just for you, or a limited edition item from your favorite brand.

At the end of the night, he sits with you on the balcony, sharing a quiet toast to another year together. "My darling, every day with you is a gift. But today, the world itself should celebrate you."

Idia Shroud

The morning starts with you waking up alone, only to find that Idia technically never slept. Instead, he was up all night setting up the ultimate birthday gaming experience for you.

"G-Good morning! Uh—sorry if I woke your up, but look! I made a whole list of games that fit your tastes, and we can play all day, no interruptions."

He isn't the type for regular parties but maybe he set up a virtual surprise where NPCs from your favorite games wish you happy birthday.

His gift? Probably something like a customized controller, or even him buying you any game skin you want. He tries to act nonchalant about it, but his ears are burning red when he gives it to you.

At the end of the night he shyly offers you to lean against his shoulder while you continue gaming. "I-It’s fine if you wanna sleep here. I mean it’s your birthday, so… whatever makes you happy."

Lilia Vanrouge

You wake up not because of an alarm, but because Lilia is already hovering over you, grinning mischievously. "Rise and shine, birthday star~!"

He’s so excited. Probably already made breakfast especially for you (though whether it’s edible is another story).

The whole day is a bit of chaos and fun, he drags you to some kind of adventure, even if it’s just sneaking into different parts of the campus for fun.

His gift is maybe something sentimental like a charm with protective magic or a handwritten letter filled with reasons why he loves you.

The night ends with him humming a soft melody for you, coaxing you to relax. "Another year older, another year more wonderful. You’ll always have me by your side, my dear."

Cater Diamond

You wake up to your phone blowing up, Cater’s already posted a barrage of cute birthday messages and pictures for you. "Gotta make sure everyone knows it’s your special day, y’know?"

He wanted to really make your day special for you so he hid little gifts all over for you to find. Each one has a cute note attached, making you feel extra appreciated.

His actual gift? A scrapbook filled with memories, photos, little doodles, messages from your friends. He loves seeing you smile while you look at each of the pages .

At the end of the day, he insists on a sunset selfie, just the two of you, with the golden light making everything look unreal. "This one’s for the memories, babe. Here’s to another year of being iconic together!"

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

i cant really tell if yuu's involvement in ace's character is more for fanservice reasons or because they really did play a part in his character development.

like in nbc we have malleus choosing to focus on finishing the task at hand as quickly as possible so that they can then find the prefect rather than drop everything there at that moment and prioritizing finding yuu. (iirc) and compared to that we have ace who does put a lot of emphasis on finding yuu especially when no one seems to remember it during the halloween event it feels very traditionally fanservice-y ? and i cant really tell where the line is drawn for ace anymore. and you did mention a lot of other points in another post that you made esp with ace's dream recently dropping and the fact that hes the only guy whos dream yuu was actively involved in idk its a little confusing for me i hope im making sense TT no shade to the shippers im just a little slow in comprehending it all bvbvsjdj

your posts are always really neutral and accurate it just helps to clear up a lot of my confusions and questions i have when playing so thank you for your hard work!

[Referencing this post; you might also find this related post useful in the discussion of Ace and Yuu's relationship!]

DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to invalidate or detract from Ace x Yuu or Malleus x Yuu shippers or anyone who may interpret their relationship as romantic. You should ship what you like and have fun doing it. My reply aims to be more objective, but that should NOT impede on your enjoyment or whatever it is you choose to ship.

iufipaerasfeao Thank you for the feedback! I'm glad you find my posts helpful. I try my best to be objective when it comes to analyzing the story and characters, but there's no true way for someone to be completely neutral. There are definitely times when I have an aside to insert my two cents on a situation or I get super heated about a particular topic. Hopefully I still leave enough space for everyone to come to their own conclusions.

I think it's both fanservice and because Yuu actually plays a big part in Ace's character development? Like, it's technically fanservice but it does not feel egregious because it fits Ace’s teasing nature and Ace's bond with Yuu has been established from the start. He was the first student we met at NRC and we spend so much time with him since then; there's no way Yuu wouldn't have had an impact on him, especially when book 7 is now paralleling the two as people with insecurities about being weak/unable to do anything + not contributing enough and Yuu encouraging him when he finally gets his UM.

I commonly see people joking about Malleus having "missed the meeting about Twst not being a dating sim" and holding him up as "the main love interest". (And to be clear, Twst isn't a dating sim, nor do all Twst fans see the characters romantically; I am only speaking about this in a romantic lens in the context of this post.) However, I think there's a very strong case to be made for Ace as well. The thing is, I also feel that Malleus and Ace fundamentally appeal to two different groups of yumejoshi. Malleus is the tall, dark, and mysterious type you can "fix", the type of guy that would burn the world down for you. Ace is the teasing and approachable boy-next-door that has your back and supports you even when the entire world is against you. This is also evident in the ways they're set up in the main story; Malleus is introduced in a way that encourages much more "filling in of the gaps" due to how little he actually shows up in front of Yuu in the main story. It gives the player a lot of space to imagine what their relationship with him is like because there isn't a ton of interactions in canon to go off of. Meanwhile, Ace has many more canonized interactions with Yuu (eating lunch, doing homework, watching movies, playing video games, etc.), so the effort of thinking about what they actually do over the course of their relationship is already done for you. There is an established friendship and connection with Ace, but you barely see Malleus enough to truly have a strong impact on him or to change him. Does that make sense?

IADUPADF9A9FSBdb I do find it sort of funny that Malleus is basically like, "Oh, something unexpected happened (ie Yuu is missing). We'd better solve this." Not really showing much emotion about them being gone in Nightmare. (Malleus only gets annoyed when Leona begins to take charge; he is not mad at the fact that Yuu is gone.) Meanwhile Yuu is missing in Endless Halloween Night and Ace is the FIRST person to excuse himself to check Ramshackle for them.

If you consult the fandom and the fandom alone, you'd think the situation would be reversed. Edit: Malleus does have his moments of intimacy with Yuu (which I won’t be getting into here because then I fear this post would veer into shipping wars), but the English speaking Twst fandom has a VERY strong bias for Malleus x Yuu. Because of that, there is a tendency to misinterpret or misattribute every little thing that Malleus says and does to support the idea that "Yuu is his most important person". (For example, even though Malleus provides no reaction at all when Skully kisses the back of Yuu's hand, many Malleus fans claimed that he would be very jealous or would harm Skully for doing such a thing. In another Halloween event, Glorious Masquerade, people believed he was angry at Rollo for harming Yuu even though this was not the case; the event states that he was mad because the invitation he had been extended was a fake one.)

It is because of thinking like this that a lot of English speakers genuinely believed Malleus would OB in book 7 in a desperate attempt to prevent Yuu from returning to their original world. Misinterpretations, headcanons, misattributions, and personal projections were conflated with canon, leading to many people to believe that Malleus was closer with Yuu than they actually are. Instead, Malleus ended up OBing because he feared Lilia leaving and he barely even considers Yuu after he OBs. And, ironically, Ace is the character whose dream prominently features Yuu and a scenario in which Yuu doesn't have to leave them forever. It was always Ace that we had a strong relationship with, not Malleus.

Ace is often overlooked even though he has far more canon interactions with Yuu in the main story. I think this could maybe to chalked up to a combination of him being "boring" compared to the literal DARK FAE OP CROWN PRINCE M. Draconia over there and the fact that so many of those "gaps" are already filled by the main story. There's less room for imagination because the game has already defined what Ace and Yuu's relationship entails. Malleus is just so much more appealing when it comes to intrigue and mysteriousness. When you look at it objectively though... Yuu only meets Malleus face-to-face like 5-6 times for brief conversations. (Edit: I’m not counting voice lines because those are arguably directed at the player, not Yuu, to endear the character to you and/or all characters get similar voice line fanservice. The canonicity is questionable since the same familiarity in voice lines is not carried over to the main story.) 5-6 times… That's not nearly long enough to make a huge impact or change in his life (unless you as the player extrapolate and imagine more Malleus and Yuu interactions outside of the ones we see in the main story). At best, I think you could say Malleus is glad he can have a special little friend who doesn't know of his name and status? He doesn't really change because of that relationship though. Malleus doesn't even show up until book 2. But Ace has literally been there since the beginning, canonically spends tons of his free time with Yuu, and has been through several near-life experiences with them (several OBs). He has the chance to bond with Yuu. Malleus does not. (He has given Yuu advice once, sent them a card once, and reassembled a stage for them once; all other interactions in the main story are short talks.)

It makes a lot of sense that Ace would be the one "touched" by Yuu's influence, whether you see it as romantic or platonic. Both he and Malleus (and all the other characters, really) get their moments of fanservice--but very few characters' development is directly impacted by Yuu's presence. Yuu might be there for most of the main story, but they actually get only a few moments to engage with the other boys in the cast to the point of actually changing them. It feels like the changes that occur are more often the result of the other boys (Trey standing up to Riddle and holding his hand afterwards, Epel and Deuce bonding on the beach, the twins telling Azul he's lame but also being the first to check up on him following the OB, Idia finalizing his farewells with Ortho, etc.) Ace just so happens to be an exception to that, as Yuu very clearly plays a big role in his development.

[gamora-borealis]

here's the thing. to outsiders it may seem like we're excited because "phan is real!!" or whatever. but they don't know... it's not about that. phan has been real this entire time. there's always been evidence that dan and phil were together, more or less (more evidence than I think some people realize). the reason phan™ is such a big deal is because two silly gay boys met online in 2009, but their fame quickly outgrew their comfort zone and they quickly went back in the closet. dan was so traumatized from being bullied in school that he had a public meltdown on tumblr in 2012 insisting he was straight after some very private stuff leaked (that he insisted was a unused prank). after going to therapy and meeting so many queer fans on tour, dan slowly began to hint again that he was queer. but it still took them until 2019 to officially come out! and like. dan essentially confirmed that yes all the public online flirting back in 2009/2010 between him and phil was very real and that they were "more than just romantic" at that point and were currently "real best friends, life companions, and soulmates." but that was it, they weren't going to share any more. which is perfectly fine, but some of that definitely had to do with dan wanting to explore himself outside of the Dan and Phil™ brand (which unfortunately he got fucked over by the pandemic and by YouTube in the process). however they did eventually make a very cute announcement that they had bought and designed a new house together. and bit by bit they started making some more coupley jokes about each other here and there and sharing glimpses of a bedroom with both of their stuff in it, though it was still fairly subdued. but then dan finally got to go do his solo comedy tour and when he came back, shit suddenly CHANGED. 2023 was wild. they brought back their joint gaming channel they hadn't touched in five years since just before they came out. and they basically started the public flirting again??? this time on camera??? maybe not as direct as the 2009 stuff at first but. it's definitely been building up close to it. and then Dan finally releases his comedy special for free on YouTube. Phil writes a gushy tweet about it. and dan just replies with 🧡. ...except for within a larger birthday tweet in 2023, dan had not used a heart emoji for phil since like... 2010??? and then suddenly he screenshots this interaction and POSTS IT ON HIS YOUTUBE COMMUNITY TAB with the caption "gay" and a link to his special. like. this isn't about confirmation... the people who have been saying that they probably aren't together or that you shouldn't think or wonder if they are were like, the twitter morality police, ex-phannies, and generally clueless people. tumblr phannies clearly have known that they've been gay for each other for the past 15 years. but this whole "gay 🧡" incident is the first time Dan Howell has very publicly said something like this about his relationship while being "unapologetically gay" as a very public figure (there's been some magazine interviews that technically have come close but, nothing as direct as this). like that is so fucking huge??? that he and phil are finally comfortable enough online, on YouTube, and in life, to go there!!! as we are now approaching fifteen years of them together too!!! like, it's so nice to get to celebrate such a happy queer relationship and expression of queer joy. and dan has hinted that bigger stuff is coming too... like. yeah phan is real I guess 🙃

[pomefioredove]

@hxney-lemcn said more cater fics and I am here 2 deliver ✌️✌️

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ friends kiss, too

type of post: short fic characters: cater additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, friends 2 lovers ON TOP! a little making out

Every time Cater drags you through one of these things, you ask yourself why you let him, and every time, the answer is the same: he's your best friend, and you love him.

It's the very same reason you let him spam you with texts and annoy you with surprise selfies. It's the reason you rarely hang out with anyone else, because you know it makes him jealous, though he'd never admit that.

It's the reason you're here, now, awake in your room well past curfew.

Despite the threat of a Housewarden who would flay you alive if he caught you and Cater sneaking around in the dead hours of the night, your bestie was absolutely insistent on this all-nighter.

It's a trend on Magicam, he said, and he had, of course, pouted and whined like a sad puppy until you agreed to "support him" by keeping him awake.

By two in the morning, you were more bored than tired.

"Pass. Pass," Cater says, swiping through dating profiles on his phone. "Hm... no, pass."

You sigh and slump against the headboard of your bed. "You've said that word so many times, it doesn't sound real anymore,"

"Ughhhh. Is Sage's Island where hotties go to die? I just want a cute holiday romance!" he exclaims. "Think of the pics!"

You roll your eyes. You'd heard that exact string of words probably ten times in the past few days.

"You can't date someone just for couple photo ops,"

Cater pouts. "Oh, yes I can. I specify "nothing serious" on my profile! It's not like I'm lying!"

Another eye-roll. He's technically right, as always, which just makes you even more annoyed.

But you don't want to get into an argument about the morality of flings right now.

"And it's cold out. Who am I gonna hold when it gets even colder? It's cuffing season, hon,"

Something about the way he says that bothers you. You try not to think about it so much.

"Well, you'll always have me," you tease.

Cater giggles, and sets his phone down on the bed, a subtle way of showing you that you have his full attention now. "Oh? What's this? Sounds like you're offering,"

"Not what I meant," you counter. "I'm your bestie, not your bae."

"Boooo. What are you, a nun? Friends cuddle all the time,"

Again, he's right. He likes being right, and you can see that on him now, too. He has that competitive glow on his face.

You smile. "Sure, sure, but we all know that cuddling isn't what you're looking for,"

Cater gasps, feigning offense with a hand placed delicately over his heart. "I am not that easy! I'm starting to think you really do want me all to yourself,"

If anything, it's the other way around. Since befriending him at the start of the school year, you'd always had the feeling that he took up all your time on purpose. But you don't say that.

"Besides," he goes on. "There are a lot of things that besties can do that are perfectly friend-like. The segregation of romantic and platonic is a totally oppressive amatonormative structure, anyway."

You roll your eyes. "You have got to stop reading those infographics. Do you even know what any of those words mean?"

"Not the point! I'm saying that there's lots of cute stuff we can do while remaining besties,"

He's very enthusiastic about this. You can't tell if it's his penchant for being right, or something more.

"Pfft. Okay. So, what, friends can kiss?"

"Obviously," Cater crosses his arms over his chest, giving you that smug look of his. "Friends kiss, too."

"Then prove it,"

The words that had you had been holding in the back of your mouth for the past few minutes escape before your brain can stop them.

Even Cater, who's never surprised, pales a little.

Your mouth opens, then closes, then opens, again without your thoughts offering any support.

"I didn't mean-"

"Okay,"

You blink. Something hot and cold at the same time runs through your body- adrenaline, anxiety, maybe it's just your own blood heating up at the way Cater leans closer, cupping your face in his hand, his fingers curled under your jaw and thumb gently brushing against your cheek.

His hands are kinda sweaty. You don't really mind, and even if you did, it wouldn't have mattered, because his lips are now sweetly pressing against yours.

You fit together quite nicely. As if he was just meant to kiss you.

It's hard not to think about everything all at once; his warm hand moving to cup your chin and hold you close to him, his hair brushing against your face, the way his lips still linger with spice from whatever he'd eaten earlier...

It's not perfect. But it's him, which is close enough.

Cater pulls away, his breath dancing across your lips, but he gives you no time to recover before he's closer, kissing you again with a sort of heat that matched the taste of his mouth.

He holds your face in both hands, shamelessly pinning you against the headboard and sitting in your lap as if he belonged there, always.

Minutes go by. Maybe hours. You wouldn't have noticed, or cared, either way. When you finally part from one another, it's felt like years.

You feel like an entirely different person. As if the world had ended and begun again in the six minutes you had been kissing him.

Cater sits atop your thighs, panting, his face redder than his Housewarden's hair, that of which would have flayed you both if he were to catch you like this.

Luckily, it's just the two of you.

"See?" Cater finally mumbles, dismounting you and scooting back to where he left his phone. "Platonic."

You're too breathless to argue.

You suppose you'll let him be right again.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

I propose an idea! Romantic Yandere Mark Grayson with batsib mc….oh I can feel the chaos that these two worlds would bring😂

A/N: "BIYVjhKDjshuguj" was my inital reaction to this requests because this is tew good. If you've seen my Mark Grayson post then you know exactly how insane this mf is.

Warnings: Pure crack to be honest? Like this is not even a serious post. I was laughing the entire time. Don’t even know where I was going with this but…I had fun

Requests? always open!

Masterlist

Two black haired, attention whore yanderes with the same last name, walk into a room with their darling in it...who's winning?

I mean technically their meeting is not too far fetched. Mortal Kombat and DC had a crossover..and Invincible is also apart of Mortal Kombat which means- nvm, you didn't ask for that.

Here's the thing, everyone in the family dislikes Mark but yan! Mark and Dick HATE each other the most but because they are low key so similar. Mark is obviously way more extreme but i digress. He brings out the absolutely worse out of Dick.

Like Dick has picked up a Knife and contemplated murder.

Mark and Dick's interactions are hilarious though?? Like they both have the exact same fake smile and passive (heavy on the aggressive) behaviors.

"Ahhh, Mark, we're always pleased to host you since y'know your parents obviously need some sort of break from an irritant, such as yourself."

"Thanks, Dick! But regardless of how much of an irritant i am to them, least i still have two biological parents to care for me. Maybe it's because they're not patrons of the circus....?"

*backhands him*

Jason isn't subtle and has whipped out his guns, ready to blast that mf. He's been the closet to causing Mark to blow up the mansion. It was a whole thing and you dumped Mark over it but of course he gaslighted you.

I think the family doesn't like the fact you're dating someone who can easily take advantage of you. (ironic) Mark is clearly dangerous, he's half viltrumite and they may not know everything his people are capable of but they know he can cause a lot of havoc. Mark is not only a threat to you but to them as well. He puts them in a state of constant high alert. They're always staring him down, searching for any signs of danger. I'm sure Batman has a fail safe plan all ready to go. They are eager for the moment they can take this mf down. Do you think they have the supers on speed dial just in case? Ugh even uncle Clark is disapproving of this too.

Your sisters try endlessly to have heart to hearts with you because WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING????? MARK?! They'd rather you date poke-a-dot man or something because why????

Mark isn't a dumbass, he knows they hate him. He also knows just how scared they are of him and it gives him some sort of sick pleasure knowing he could truly have you all to himself if he really wanted to. But there's really no point in that yet, you're wrapped around his fingers. He totally has thought about going back to his planet with you and keeping your pretty self locked up where your family won't ever find you. That'd really stick it to em'

The cocky, manipulation is just oozing off him every time he's around. The way he shoots threatening looks towards your siblings when they try to get your attention or "playfully" insulting them. There's never a moment where his head isn't held high, looking down at your siblings as if they were beneath him...He runs this place when he's over. Which is all the time because Bruce is like okay, if you won't leave him, you have to be supervised.

Can you imagine combined family dinners with Mark's family and yours??? First, there is definitely a fight of who is sitting next to who. I'll say your brothers win this and are sitting on either side while Mark is fuming as he's across from you. The tension is so freaking high. It's rather silent around the table but everyone is looking at each other either like "I'm ready to kill him when you are" or "i'm going to kill you, mark...". I headcanon that even Bruce has beef with Nolan. They clash rather constantly on their differences of how to handle villains. Nolan is a stone cold killer to Bruce, who is rather set in his ways. It's no wonder Mark is his son. You aren't going to be with this kid for long. "So, Bruce? How's things on your side of town? Still letting your boyfriend out of jail so you can keep playing tag?" "The Joker isn't my boyfriend, i'm just not into murder, unlike some "heros" are. I like to set an example for my kids." "Ah, is that why Jason threatened to kill my son at gun point last month?"

You and Debbie are the only ones who like are trying to be civil and are sort of ignorant to everything going on.

"Um, so i made brownies with Mark's mother for everyone! Anyone want a piece?"

"Of course, love. You know your brownies are my favorite, i've been waiting all day."

Your siblings act like savages and eat the entire pan, stuffing it in their mouths so Mark cannot get any. Bruce doesn't do anything to correct his children out of spite.

Bruce is also debating on just handling them right here. He could have Kal-el over in matters of minutes and this could all be over with.

(Okay but Mark and Damien beating each other’s asses???? Damien cannot bite his tongue and Mark is trying to be nice because he’s a kid but he then Damien call him a "little bitch boy" and it pushes him over the edge. Mark just jumps over the table lollllll???? Sad thing is, Damien gets in tons of cuts with the butterknife he was just using for his sweetroll heheh))) "I though you were invincible...guess i was right in calling you a little bi-" "OH YOU'RE DYING TONIGHT"

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Antiusurpation and the road to disenshittification

THIS WEEKEND (November 8-10), I'll be in TUCSON, AZ: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

Nineties kids had a good reason to be excited about the internet's promise of disintermediation: the gatekeepers who controlled our access to culture, politics, and opportunity were crooked as hell, and besides, they sucked.

For a second there, we really did get a lot of disintermediation, which created a big, weird, diverse pluralistic space for all kinds of voices, ideas, identities, hobbies, businesses and movements. Lots of these were either deeply objectionable or really stupid, or both, but there was also so much cool stuff on the old, good internet.

Then, after about ten seconds of sheer joy, we got all-new gatekeepers, who were at least as bad, and even more powerful, than the old ones. The net became Tom Eastman's "Five giant websites, each filled with screenshots of the other four." Culture, politics, finance, news, and especially power have been gathered into the hands of unaccountable, greedy, and often cruel intermediaries.

Oh, also, we had an election.

This isn't an election post. I have many thoughts about the election, but they're still these big, unformed blobs of anger, fear and sorrow. Experience teaches me that the only way to get past this is to just let all that bad stuff sit for a while and offgas its most noxious compounds, so that I can handle it safely and figure out what to do with it.

While I wait that out, I'm just getting the job done. Chop wood, carry water. I've got a book to write, Enshittification, for Farar, Straus, Giroux's MCD Books, and it's very nearly done:

https://twitter.com/search?q=from%3Adoctorow+%23dailywords&src=typed_query&f=live

Compartmentalizing my anxieties and plowing that energy into productive work isn't necessarily the healthiest coping strategy, but it's not the worst, either. It's how I wrote nine books during the covid lockdowns.

And sometimes, when you're not staring directly at something, you get past the tunnel vision that makes it impossible to see its edges, fracture lines, and weak points.

So I'm working on the book. It's a book about platforms, because enshittification is a phenomenon that is most visible and toxic on platforms. Platforms are intermediaries, who connect buyers and sellers, creators and audiences, workers and employers, politicians and voters, activists and crowds, as well as families, communities, and would-be romantic partners.

There's a reason we keep reinventing these intermediaries: they're useful. Like, it's technically possible for a writer to also be their own editor, printer, distributor, promoter and sales-force:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/19/crad-kilodney-was-an-outlier/#intermediation

But without middlemen, those are the only writers we'll get. The set of all writers who have something to say that I want to read is much larger than the set of all writers who are capable of running their own publishing operation.

The problem isn't middlemen: the problem is powerful middlemen. When an intermediary gets powerful enough to usurp the relationship between the parties on either side of the transaction, everything turns to shit:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/12/direct-the-problem-of-middlemen/

A dating service that faces pressure from competition, regulation, interoperability and a committed workforce will try as hard as it can to help you find Your Person. A dating service that buys up all its competitors, cows its workforce, captures its regulators and harnesses IP law to block interoperators will redesign its service so that you keep paying forever, and never find love:

https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2024/02/13/1228749143/the-dating-app-paradox-why-dating-apps-may-be-worse-than-ever

Multiply this a millionfold, in every sector of our complex, high-tech world where we necessarily rely on skilled intermediaries to handle technical aspects of our lives that we can't – or shouldn't – manage ourselves. That world is beholden to predators who screw us and screw us and screw us, jacking up our rents:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/yes-there-are-antitrust-voters-in

Cranking up the price of food:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/04/dont-let-your-meat-loaf/#meaty-beaty-big-and-bouncy

And everything else:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens

(Maybe this is a post about the election after all?)

The difference between a helpmeet and a parasite is power. If we want to enjoy the benefits of intermediaries without the risks, we need policies that keep middlemen weak. That's the opposite of the system we have now.

Take interoperability and IP law. Interoperability (basically, plugging new things into existing things) is a really powerful check against powerful middlemen. If you rely on an ad-exchange to fund your newsgathering and they start ripping you off, then an interoperable system that lets you use a different exchange will not only end the rip off – it'll make it less likely to happen in the first place because the ad-tech platform will be afraid of losing your business:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/05/save-news-we-must-shatter-ad-tech

Interoperability means that when a printer company gouges you on ink, you can buy cheap third party ink cartridges and escape their grasp forever:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Interoperability means that when Amazon rips off audiobook authors to the tune of $100m, those authors can pull their books from Amazon and sell them elsewhere and know that their listeners can move their libraries over to a different app:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/07/audible-exclusive/#audiblegate

But interoperability has been in retreat for 40 years, as IP law has expanded to criminalize otherwise normal activities, so that middlemen can use IP rights to protect themselves from their end-users and business customers:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

That's what I mean when I say that "IP" is "any law that lets a business reach beyond its own walls and control the actions of its customers, competitors and critics."

For example, there's a pernicious law 1998 US law that I write about all the time, Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, the "anticircumvention law." This is a law that felonizes tampering with copyright locks, even if you are the creator of the undelying work.

So Amazon – the owner of the monopoly audiobook platform Audible – puts a mandatory copyright lock around every audiobook they sell. I, as an author who writes, finances and narrates the audiobook, can't provide you, my customer, with a tool to remove that lock. If I do so, I face criminal sanctions: a five year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine for a first offense:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/25/can-you-hear-me-now/#acx-ripoff

In other words: if I let you take my own copyrighted work out of Amazon's app, I commit a felony, with penalties that are far stiffer than the penalties you would face if you were to simply pirate that audiobook. The penalties for you shoplifting the audiobook on CD at a truck-stop are lower than the penalties the author and publisher of the book would face if they simply gave you a tool to de-Amazon the file. Indeed, even if you hijacked the truck that delivered the CDs, you'd probably be looking at a shorter sentence.

This is a law that is purpose-built to encourage intermediaries to usurp the relationship between buyers and sellers, creators and audiences. It's a charter for parasitism and predation.

But as bad as that is, there's another aspect of DMCA 1201 that's even worse: the exemptions process.

You might have read recently about the Copyright Office "freeing the McFlurry" by granting a DMCA 1201 exemption for companies that want to reverse-engineer the error-codes from McDonald's finicky, unreliable frozen custard machines:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/28/mcbroken/#my-milkshake-brings-all-the-lawyers-to-the-yard

Under DMCA 1201, the Copyright Office hears petitions for these exemptions every three years. If they judge that anticircumvention law is interfering with some legitimate activity, the statute empowers them to grant an exemption.

When the DMCA passed in 1998 (and when the US Trade Rep pressured other world governments into passing nearly identical laws in the decades that followed), this exemptions process was billed as a "pressure valve" that would prevent abuses of anticircumvention law.

But this was a cynical trick. The way the law is structured, the Copyright Office can only grant "use" exemptions, but not "tools" exemptions. So if you are granted the right to move Audible audiobooks into a third-party app, you are personally required to figure out how to do that. You have to dump the machine code of the Audible app, decompile it, scan it for vulnerabilities, and bootstrap your own jailbreaking program to take Audible wrapper off the file.

No one is allowed to help you with this. You aren't allowed to discuss any of this publicly, or share a tool that you make with anyone else. Doing any of this is a potential felony.

In other words, DMCA 1201 gives intermediaries power over you, but bans you from asking an intermediary to help you escape another abusive middleman.

This is the exact opposite of how intermediary law should work. We should have rules that ban intermediaries from exercising undue power over the parties they serve, and we should have rules empowering intermediaries to erode the advantage of powerful intermediaries.

The fact that the Copyright Office grants you an exemption to anticircumvention law means nothing unless you can delegate that right to an intermediary who can exercise it on your behalf.

A world without publishing intermediaries is one in which the only writers who thrive are the ones capable of being publishers, too, and that's a tiny fraction of all the writers with something to say.

A world without interoperability intermediaries is one in which the only platform users who thrive are also skilled reverse-engineering ninja hackers – and that's an infinitesimal fraction of the platform users who would benefit from interoperabilty.

Let this be your north star in evaluating platform regulation proposals. Platform regulation should weaken intermediaries' powers over their users, and strengthen their power over other middlemen.

Put in this light, it's easy to see why the ill-informed calls to abolish Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act (which makes platform users, not platforms, responsible for most unlawful speech) are so misguided:

https://www.techdirt.com/2020/06/23/hello-youve-been-referred-here-because-youre-wrong-about-section-230-communications-decency-act/

If we require platforms to surveil all user speech and block anything that might violate any law, we give the largest, most powerful platforms a permanent advantage over smaller, better platforms, run by co-ops, hobbyists, nonprofits local governments, and startups. The big platforms have the capital to rig up massive, automated surveillance and censorship systems, and the only alternatives that can spring up have to be just as big and powerful as the Big Tech platforms we're so desperate to escape:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/23/evacuate-the-platforms/#let-the-platforms-burn

This is especially grave given the current political current, where fascist politicians are threatening platforms with brutal punishments for failing to censor disfavored political views.

Anyone who tells you that "it's only censorship when the government does it" is badly confused. It's only a First Amendment violation when the government does it, sure – but censorship has always relied on intermediaries. From the Inquisition to the Comics Code, government censors were only able to do their jobs because powerful middlemen, fearing state punishments, blocked anything that might cross the line, censoring far beyond the material actually prohibited by the law:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/22/self-censorship/#hugos

We live in a world of powerful, corrupt middlemen. From payments to real-estate, from job-search to romance, there's a legion of parasites masquerading as helpmeets, burying their greedy mouthparts into our tender flesh:

https://www.capitalisnt.com/episodes/visas-hidden-tax-on-americans

But intermediaries aren't the problem. You shouldn't have to stand up your own payment processor, or learn the ins and outs of real-estate law, or start your own single's bar. The problem is power, not intermediation.

As we set out to build a new, good internet (with a lot less help from the US government than seemed likely as recently as last week), let's remember that lesson: the point isn't disintermediation, it's weak intermediation.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/07/usurpers-helpmeets/#disreintermediation

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en (Image: Cryteria, CC BY 3.0, modified)

[b1eeding-sun]

Finally made ref sheets for this au so I figure now is as good a time as any to make an official introduction post for it.

Keep in mind that I'm still working on ironing out all the details so some things may be subject to change. However, I do have the major story beats decided so it's all the stuff in between that I'm not certain of. (Also PV'S designs are subject to change I'm not certain I'll be sticking with these)

Au overview and some more art below the cut because I ended up yapping for so long

With that out of the way, here's the gist of this au:

When Truthless recluse shatters his soul jam in the spire of deceit, he gets sent back in time (as like a fluke side effect of awakening ig) where he is found by the Fount of knowledge. Pure Vanilla is weary of Fount at first because he's not entirely convinced that this isn't just Shadow Milk trying to fuck with him again but he does genuinely want to be friends with shadow milk so he decides to just go along with this. He does realize fairly quickly that this isn't a trick, he's actually stuck in the past.

Fount is absolutely fascinated by PV, he's never had any genuine connections with anybody before and PV is pretty much the first person ever to see him as an actual person and not just something to be used and then discarded. He is also extremely curious about why PV has a second copy of his soul jam (PV quickly after realizing he's not in his time starts hiding his soul jam but he couldn't exactly hide it from Fount, at this point in time it isn't visibility cracked yet, that happens later on.)

Long story short they become besties (could be read as romantic or platonic), horribly codependent relationship on both ends. they don't have anyone but each other and they are each other's whole world.

It would absolutely tear PV apart if Fount was to, for example, start to corrupt and for there to be absolutely nothing he could do about it. Or if, and I'm just throwing this out there, he was to be locked up in, oh I don't know, a tree for thousands of years. And expanding on that, let's just say, hypothetically, that Fount assumes PV is mortal (technically correct) and that Its been thousands of years, he's probably died of old age by now (not correct). That would probably fuck him up soooo bad. Especially since he's locked in this hypothetical tree and literally all he can do is sit with his own thoughts.

Hahaha, good thing that's purely hypothetical. Because if that wasn't hypothetical then PV might, in an attempt to spare himself from his suffering, shatter his soul jam (again) and completely lose all of his memories (again). But that'll never happen because that was all purely hypothetical and actually this au is all sunshine and rainbows with absolutely no angst.

I've got sosososososo many ideas about this au that I haven't even touched on in this brief overview and am genuinely considering turning this into a fic. However I've literally never written anything before and this concept I think would be incredibly difficult to pull off convincingly. Also, shadow milk/fount of knowledge is physically disabled here. You can pretty much assume that that's the case with any of my depictions of him even if it's not obvious just by looking, but I figured it should still say that.

Please please please please please send me questions about this au I'm hopelessly hyperfixated on it and I have absolutely nobody to talk about it with or bounce ideas off of and that's tragic. Also I haven't figured out a name for this yet so please give me suggestions so I can tag everything accordingly and have all of it in one place.

As a treat for hearing my rambling out, here's a collection of my favorite of the art I've made for this au thus far (I would have included all of it but stupid Tumblr image limitations):

[sir-myst-cake]

First post on here and it's a rant!! If you want more cool takes you should totally follow me as I'll be posting here more often and have totally cool art to share‼️‼️

I'm not completely sure how to tag this? I'm talking about the ships in a positive light so I think it's okay, and besides, I want lots of peeps to see it, I'm aware I probably won't change many people's minds at all, but it's okay lol, I just want Anti's to see they genuinely have a nothing burger and need to leave people alone.

This is a mostly TikTok only problem regarding Beast x Ancient's (thank god) but I've seen my fair share elsewhere like on here. So lemme counter every argument I've seen so far cause you got a lot of time on your hands to be telling people to off themselves over Cookie ships 😭 put that hate into people who actually deserve it.

BILLFORD COMPARISON

Regarding ShadowVanilla specifically, people have compared the ship a lot from both sides, but what really got me is what I've seen here:

"Shadow Milk Cookie is way worse than Bill! He drove Pure Vanilla to insanity! He tortured him!"- This is in regards to how people bring up the fact Anti's are fine with one thing but not the other when it's basically the same thing they're against. Psychological, physical, mental, and emotional torture. I'll be honest I haven't watched Gravity Falls whatsoever, but my friend has, and from what she says, yeah Bill is the definition of a cruel and unusual punishment. He's done some crazy things, absolutely heinous, might even be a little worse than Shadow Milk or on the same level, either way though-

You can't like one thing and then not the other, it's different flavors of the same thing, it's hypocritical. Either you hate them both or you hate neither.

"Those are 2 different fandoms!"- Doesn't matter, it's the same thing, just different media, it's not different whatsoever aside from the universe, there's much torture involved on both ends.

ABUSER X VICTIM

This one I've seen A LOT and I'm just ??

"If you ship Beast x Ancient's you support Abuser x victim btw"- That's a STRETCH. You are reaching FAR. Nobody is romanticizing the abuse, nobody is normalizing it, it's stuff that happened in canon and we acknowledge it but nobody is doing any of that other stuff. I'm not condoning anyone in real life to do that shit lol. It's called exploring, they have an interesting dynamic, romantic or platonic, two sides of the same coin. You can say the same thing about horror movies, they put a lot of disturbing stuff in there. Do the movie producers CONDONE any of that stuff? Obviously not. Goes for Devsisters too, they don't condone body mutilation yet they still made Burning Spice rip off Cheese's wings.

But even so, for the people who DO like it for the angst, I won't say fiction doesn't affect reality because it does in many cases, but this isn't one of them. Not every relationship is going to be peachy and perfect, just like in real life. I can give an example on this one too actually.

GoldenLily, they aren't condoning what Lily (technically) did to Golden Cheese's kingdom, but they like it for all the potential, complicated feelings and emotions that come along with it.

Also, that's basically the same thing with Beasts x Ancients, just turn it around to enemies to lovers.

"This isn't Villain x hero, this is abuser x victim"- Are you saying MOST of media is abuser x victim then? This is in fact a typical hero x Villain trope, it's nothing new. Respectfully, you guys freak out when a Villain does villain stuff, I'd be surprised if there was a villain who DIDN'T cause any trauma for the opposing party. But according to this logic, media is just dead, no more fanfiction, no more what ifs, no more content since it's all apparently problematic and not canon. Even if somebody switches stuff up in an AU, and makes things completely fluffy, that's apparently still not enough.

"oh you had to make an AU to ship them because you know it's toxic"- No, it's just playing around with scenarios. Learn to separate fanon from canon. This specifically goes for the redeemed AU's I see of the Beasts, people still complain, they act as if people can't change. One of the biggest examples I have of that is FlutterCord, Discord did plenty of messed up things, but in the end, he still managed to change. You'll still get burned at the stake for it though.

"You must be an abuser yourself to condone this!!"- Extremely disrespectful and a WILDDD take. Need I say more??

"I ship Beast x Beast rather than Beast x Ancient's"- According to your logic, the Beasts are abusers right? And if we followed the same story, they are not mentally well whatsoever. You'd rather ship 2 dangerously mentally unstable characters together who'd just make each other worse? Destroy each other? Fuck each other up beyond belief? It doesn't make sense does it, nor is it fair for y'all to praise these ships but hate on the others. You like watching the cookies crumble huh 😭

CANON

"The ship isn't canon!"- We know that, everyone should know that. With what I said earlier, please learn to separate fanon from canon. That's what a fandom is, we do non-canon stuff, it's very fun, you should try it.

"It's a Proship/Dark ship!"- Going the canon route, Beasts are Eons old, Ancients are thousands of years old. Big gap yes, but nonetheless all of them are old as fuck. Older than bloodlines. Treating the Ancients as if they aren't grown adults. You're intentionally trying to make it weird. Stop calling ships you don't like proships please.

Also a little off topic but please don't listen to everyone you interact with on TikTok?? I remember one time I was scrolling through a comment section and saw somebody say "Doesn't Mystic Flour Cookie hate Burning Spice Cookie?" On a MysticSpice vid, looked in the replies, somebody asked for proof/where it was implied, and they didn't answer 💀 just blatantly spreading misinformation. Sources around you are way more reliable than people who don't back up their claims.

CONCLUSION

Even despite all this, you still have the right to feel how you wanna feel. Just please stop harassing people for simple stuff like this, in all honesty, I feel like it's more about seeing one of your favorite characters shipped with somebody who hurt them in canon that makes peeps upset. Which I can totally understand because I used to be exactly like that, I LIVEEEE for Dark Cacao Cookie, when Mystic Flour's update came out, I wanted her dead. Quite literally blocked someone because I couldn't stand seeing their MysticCao art. Hated what she did to my baby boy fr.

But then It started growing on me, over time, I just realized it was never that serious.

Even so, notice how I still didn't go out of my way to harass said person about it because I specifically didn't like it? It really is that easy. Block and go about your day.

I also suspect this because of stuff like this 💀

Love that person who replied, but it's not that hard y'all. We all can in fact, get along.

ANYWAYSSSS thanks to those who took the time read, I love you my pookies hope you have a good day or night💕💕