"in another life, i would make you stay so i don't have to say you were the one that got away..."
no matter who she belongs to, i loved her first.
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some people really be out there typing fanfics longer than war and peace in their free time and then going on about their life like it's no big deal. how fucking incredible. like no offense to tolstoy but that was like. his whole job
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
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Sir, I hope you have your will updated and notarized.
Episode 53 Part 21
First < Previous > Next
Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5
Ep 41, Ep 42, Ep 43, Ep 44 Ep 45, Ep 46, Ep 47, Ep 48, Intermission, Ep 49, Ep 50, Ep 51, Ep 52
Bonus:
I broke myself to give Koki Marina and Vesperia Space versions even though I hate power ups. They're for emergencies only! Like chasing Miraculous thieves! And getting to the hospital at the speed of sound!
(I couldn't leave Fox Trot out though!)
Ko-fi | Patreon
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i miss my wife tails...i miss her a lot
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you're in her dms im in the windows screen saver maze and im fucked im so fucked please help
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The idea that Duke is the super well-behaved and rule-following kid is really funny to me cause like, have you read Robin War? His bit in that book opens with him being arrested for wearing red shoes (long story, just know he was also wearing a red hoodie that apparently wasn't a problem) and he explains step by step to the cop exactly how he plans on escaping before executing that escape perfectly by jumping off a bridge. He fought an armored Jim Gordon, the Court of Owls, and Damian who had been manipulated into joining the Court. Duke managed to talk Damian down while getting his ass kicked and then kinda befriended the kid after. He also has defied Batman several times and was proven to be right. All with a healthy dose of sass.
But also I do like lil rule-following sweetheart Duke so I have a proposal. Duke Thomas who follows the rules he agrees with. Most of the time, he's the sweet little angel in the manor. He's polite, he's well-mannered, he's kind, and he does what he's told. However that's only because everything aligns with what he believes to be the right path. The moment Bruce makes a bad call or order, Duke takes it to 11 and becomes more impossible to order around than Jason. Chaotic Good Duke.
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unfortunately dnd podcasts have already peaked, specifically in 2015 when griffin mcelroy named an npc “garfield the deals warlock” but forgot to describe how he looked in the slightest so the entire collective fandom decided it was just straight up garfield the orange cat
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