#the nature of me is that i do everything passably well and so that means i can do mostly everything. but mediocre-good-but-not-the-best

[1o1percentmilk]

every cell in my body tells me to quit my job and major and become a nurse or lab tech but i stay strong

[nocturnowlette]

Hypnotic triggers, just like everything else with the hypnosis community's understanding, is limited and flawed.

In general, when people do not understand how something works, they will imitate those who did it before them and ultimately give importance and distinctions to things that are arbitrary.

A hypnotic trigger, just like any psychological trigger, is an A, a stimulus, that causes B, a recalled stimulus. Neither A nor B need to be reinforced but are useful to do, most especially B.

Triggers are also not stronger than regular suggestion, they are just more convenient and more compressed. You create a concept in someone's head, a Thing, and associate effects, ideas, and feelings with it, so you can then have someone recall all of those effects, ideas, and feelings without needing to completely re-explain it. It is not unlike learning any other concept and its meaning. You are creating a new definition for what some stimulus means.

You could generate the same effects, if not stronger ones, without a trigger, but condensing it all into one moment is inherently useful and can lead to a myriad of possibilities, which can ultimately add up to more than the sum of their parts. Time and timing is important in hypnosis, and triggers save it.

While the "B", the effect, does not need to be conditioned (for any subject a somewhat competent hypnotist has any experience with, you should be able to prime the A and B with a single sentence and have it work at least moderately well), it is much more useful to condition it deeply. Triggers do not really atrophy if someone did an even somewhat passable job of conditioning, but it does need to be refreshed before use via priming and evoking the necessary ideas in the subject's mind.

The more the subject's mind needs to work to interpret something you've said, the more they will be taken out of that state where they're being guided. If the first time you use it in months isn't set up and as such doesn't work as well as it used to because of the need to process it, the subject will be convinced it doesn't work as well, and then it will actually have lessened effects due to the perception.

As for the "A", the trigger phrase, it is hardly necessary to actually have a deeply installed one outside of the effects of expectation and general structure you operate your subjects with. I even have a test to demonstrate exactly this, for experienced subjects only.

Trance itself is a conditioned idea that is then triggered. An experienced subject has the concept of Trance in their head: its effects, its ideas, and its feelings. It is always a limited conception of what trance is, but it is the reference point for what hypnosis is to someone. Most times, when a drop trigger or a fast sink into trance is done in any way, the subject is effectively triggering themselves with a stimulus A to reach the generalized stimulus B of trance itself. Memory recall is what brings someone down, and it does not require a traditional trigger to work.

If you are an experienced subject, I want you to try something for me. This is called the Orange Test. Ready?

Oranges are hypnotic now.

Think of an Orange.

If you have begun to find yourself sinking into a light to moderate trance, you may realize how utterly arbitrary all of this is. Your mind knows what trance feels like, and some magic ritual of the right words is not what is needed to access it.

Oranges are no longer hypnotic, in fact, they wake you up. Think of an orange again.

The thing is, you don't even need to tie it to any concept in particular.

Just remember what trance feels like. Focus on the idea. You might find that you can go into trance all on your own, skipping the line from A to B through initiating memory recall yourself.

This principle of memory recall is generally why I do not use drop triggers or anything a person has pre-installed. These fictional misunderstood boundaries the hypnosis community makes up have a self-perpetuating nature, one where someone being convinced of them creates a "pass or fail" state in their brain.

If you don't follow these correctly, you are doing hypnosis "wrong", and they are taken out of trance. It is why the first thing I do is educate someone, and why the second is to softly take down every barrier they have. Beyond that point, their mind is a fresh canvas, and not one with the lines painted for me by those who believe that canvases just come that way.

Painting by numbers is convenient for hobbyists, but limiting for anyone beyond that.

[ghost-bxrd]

Keep going I want everything *holds up a note pad* give me angst

*slides glasses up higher*

Okay, you asked for it! Get ready for some really cracky ship content on the side of more Court Family au!

Bruce grows up learning high society and Court etiquette mostly from Alfred and some trustworthy Court members and quickly decides that some things need to change. (He may be morally flexible here but he still wants to change things for the better). He still puts up the Brucie mask in front of High Society, but now he does it with the goal to gather blackmail material from as many people as possible and indebt them to him for potential use down the line.

Bruce becomes Voice of the Court when he turns eighteen and immediately starts uprooting several of the more corrupt members of the Court, instating new people into the ranks that will benefit the city as a whole. He makes some enemies this way, naturally. And soon after the Cout’s Talon is tasked with Bruce’s safety at all times.

Bruce and Cobb do NOT get along. At all. Mostly because Bruce is determined to make Talon’s life even harder by trying to slip away from his sight every other second. It’s infuriating. Cobb considers literally sitting on the guy after only one week. (“Try bailing on me now, o’ honorable Voice”)

Bruce spends several months strategically implementing new laws and projects that will benefit the Court AND Gotham in the long run, making it a point to go to the most important meetings in person, even if they happen to be between criminals. (Cobb was so, SO tempted to let Black Mask shoot the idiot that day.)

Within two years human trafficking is close to nonexistent in Gotham City, lethal crime is down a good ten percent (which isn’t much in the grand scheme of things but for Gotham it’s almost biblical) and whispers of “Batman” are omnipresent. (Cobb considers asking if slapping his Voice would be considered treason but… it probably would. Even though Bruce really deserves it with such a stupid cover name. Owls HUNT bats… couldn’t he have chosen Owlman?)

(“What’s your name, anyway?” Bruce asks one day, flipping his tie into a neat Windsor knot that’s just passable enough to not be considered sloppy. “I am the Talon of the Court, my Voice.” Bruce hums, one elegant eyebrow raising in the stark reflection of the mirror, “No, your real name.” “It’s whatever you wish it to be, my Voice.” “You know what I mean, Talon. If you do not wish to answer, then I will not make you. But do not play me for a fool.” “… Cobb. William Cobb.” Bruce blinks, the left corner of his mouth tugging upwards, “Will… I see.”)

The first time a traitor nearly succeeds in killing Bruce is when he once again slips away from the Talon’s sight, and while Bruce is still well trained he’s no match against five people with guns, sedatives, and a mission. Cobb finds them right as they’re about to shoot Bruce in the head and goes absolutely feral. (He hates Bruce, he hates Bruce, he hates Bruce, he hates-)

Bruce wakes up back at the manor with a pissed off Talon standing in the corner of the room, keeping watch and refusing to talk to him anymore beyond what he’s ordered to. Sneaking away from the Talon after this becomes virtually impossible for Bruce.

Cobb keeps giving Bruce the cold shoulder for months to the point where Bruce becomes genuinely concerned, but the Court scientists assure him that their Talon is running at a 100% capacity. (That’s not what I’m asking, Bruce wants to scream. I want to know if he’s okay.)

(Cobb wasn’t worried, he wasn’t. He watched countless humans die in so much worse ways already. Inflicted worse himself. It’s just because he almost failed his mission and allowed the Voice to be killed that he’s so unnerved now. That must be it. That’s all it is. That’s all.)

Dick’s parents fall and Bruce is up and out of his seat the next second, pushing through the masses until he can clutch at the child and cover his eyes, shielding him from the view of his parents’ dead bodies. Social Services never get to put their hands on Dick Grayson.

The Court is ecstatic. Cobb is ecstatic. From tragedy, opportunity blooms like a rose with poisonous thorns, and the Talon stands ready to take on his apprentice as the Court broaches the subject with Bruce.

But Bruce (idiotic, stupid, bleeding-heart Bruce) refuses point blank. (“He’s a child,” Bruce says. Like that means anything. They were all children, once. He’ll grow out of it quickly enough. And the boy will make an excellent Talon, perhaps even surpass Cobb himself, with time and training. Maybe more capable at keeping the Voice safe than him, too. But then Bruce says, “He’s my child. My ward. And any of you who think to go against me will answer to the Talon and myself.” And, oh, damn you, Bruce. Damn you. But what else is Cobb to do but lift his head and stare down the Voice’s subject in silent challenge, daring them to object? Bruce is his Voice. Talon will never not side with the Court’s voice. (He pointedly does not think of the time he slit another Voice’s throat. He does not.))

Dick is anger and fury and sunshine and it drives Cobb crazy. The raw potential that is lost with Bruce’s refusal to allow him to train the boy… he cannot stand it. There will be another Talon before long (Cobb is not bitter about it, he is not) and with Dick the protection of the Voice would have at least stayed within the line of Cobb’s blood, but now… now Cobb can’t be sure the new Talon will take their task as seriously as the boy would have.

Dick is the one to approach Cobb for training before he ever goes to Bruce

Bruce nearly has a heart attack the first time he finds Dick training with the Talon, ripping the boy away and screaming at Cobb for nearly an hour about “orders” and “NOT a Talon” and many other things Dick doesn’t really get

Bruce asks Talon to bring him Zucco’s head and Cobb will forever deny the vindictive pleasure he felt when watching the smarmy man squirm and beg for his life (he didn’t get fond of Dick. Cobb doesn’t do fond. He hates him almost as much as he hates Bruce, thank you and good day.)

… okay I just realized none of this really qualifies as angst but— somehow this post got away from me. I’m sorry 😭😭😭 feel free to ask for more specific angst content tho? 🙏

[chemblrish]

How I survived pchem

So, the time has come: you have to take physical chemistry in uni. Hell's favorite, the most terrifying of nightmares, the source of emotional damage for hundreds of science students worldwide... Or so they tell you. There's no denying pchem is no field of flowers, but I managed to pass the numerical part with a 4/5 and the theoretical part with a 5/5, so let me just say - pchem is definitely passable. Here's some of my advice.

Go to class

Seriously. I know all of studyblr always tells you to go to class, but with pchem I mean it more than ever. Don't skip lectures. Go see the way your professor links the concepts and explains the necessary math. Please. It'll save you so much hassle!

Abuse office hours

And don't hesitate to ask questions in class. Lab partner and I would stay after lectures to ask our professor extra questions or go see him in his office several times during the semester and it always paid off. They won't be mad! They're here for you! Chances are, they'll be happy a student is invested in their subject.

Be consistent

I cannot stress this enough: consistency is everything. Do not leave studying for a test/exam until the last minute. If you can cram pchem at all, that's impressive. But I don't think you can cram it well. Go over your lecture notes the same day - with a textbook, so that you can fill in the gaps in your understanding of the given topic - it does wonders for comprehension and retention.

Do practice problems

And if you get mandatory exercise sets you need to complete for class, try to do more than that. Looking at somebody's solution and thinking "yeah I see what's going on here" isn't enough. If you aren't able to solve similar exercises by yourself, from scratch, you don't actually understand the topic.

Make friends with a good textbook

Ideally, your professor should be the one to recommend textbooks and exercise books. If they don't, ask! Personally, aside from some Polish textbooks, I read Atkins religiously. The textbook is great. The exercise book is a lifesaver - the answer key has complete, step-by-step solutions *cries in joy*

Understand the material thoroughly

Don't just skim through the chapters - see how every new concept is "stacked" on top of the previous ones and how it complements them (why do we need the second law of thermodynamics? Why is the first one not enough? Why is entropy defined as heat over temperature and not work over temperature if both heat and work are a way to transfer energy?). Similarly, don't just memorize formulas!! See where they come from. Derive them yourself, identify the steps that are unclear and try to understand what happens there.

Less fear, more curiosity

All right, pchem is hard, pchem is demanding, sure. But pchem is also fun. Pchem is fascinating, pchem is beautiful! The intersection of sciences! The chemistry you're already familiar with translated into the universal language of mathematics! Nature explained at a molecular level! Look. Everybody told me pchem would traumatize me, so I decided to prove them all wrong. I tried to approach it with as much enthusiasm as I could and it worked! Yes, I absolutely had to work my butt off in this class, but I enjoyed it! Please, try to do the same.

Additional resources

The organic chemistry tutor - physics (yt)

Professor Derricotte (yt)

Physical chemistry (yt)

The chemistry library - physical and theoretical chemistry

Have fun and good luck!! 🍀💖

[yakkety-yak-art]

Saw the ghost movie that I was really excited about. Was disappointing. Ultimately it was just really…okay or downright bad in the parts that weren’t concert footage. More specific comments below the cut because spoilers, I guess, but there’s really nothing that happens in this movie that matters enough to count as a spoiler.

First, if this had just been concert footage, it would have been much more enjoyable. The movie parts were not at all interesting and each cutaway made it drag on and on. I hadn’t slept well the night before the showing, so the movie itself wasn’t the reason I was dozing off at some parts…but it also wasn’t helping keep me AWAKE outside of the concert footage. No complaints about that footage (mostly, but I’ll get back to it later).

Story: whoops, Tobias Forge can’t write! Sorry, that’s a bit mean, but…I paid money to watch this, so I’ll be a little bit mean. Seriously, this thing needed at least a couple more passes with the script. Every. single. conversation. as repeating what was already brought up in the OPENING voiceover: Cardi doesn’t wanna die, doesn’t wanna stop fronting for Ghost, but everything ends eventually. Yes, we GET IT. We do not need several scenes of Cardi with his parents saying it over and over again with no additional information added to understand that. After the opening VO, we could’ve just had one scene of Cardi looking a bit forlornly at himself in the mirror, and then Sister Imperator happily telling him that “things are going to be changing in the clergy soon!” or something like that and he looks unhappy.

That’s what I thought we were getting at first, but then it just. Kept happening??? Like oh my god Tobias, I get it, Cardi doesn’t want this to end, I KNOW. The quality of the writing suggests that Tobias is one of three things: incompetent at writing anything longer than a short (maybe, but the other two are a bit more likely), had no real story to tell and this could’ve been one of the shorts so he had to pad it out to an insufferable length (definitely), or so full of himself that he thought “eh, I don’t actually have anything to say, but this way I’ll get to be on screen the whole time and the only writer credited,” (probable). It’s just so offensive considering I know there were so many resources available to make this GOOD: more time, writing assistance or hiring a real writer, etc. and yet they were not taken advantage of. If this was something just put up on YouTube I really couldn't care less about the quality, but if you're charging money for this AND are as big as Ghost is, you can't expect to slide by with mediocrity. Except he will, because apparently everyone else loved this thing. Okay. Also, the humor overall just fell super flat. There were several moments where I was like, "wait, was that a joke? was I meant to laugh there?" because they were just nothing. Also, there was a fart joke. Okay.

Acting: sorry, I’m going to be mean again. The acting in the movie parts was very. Hit or miss is what I’m gonna call it. The voice acting in the voiceovers at the beginning and the end were oddly rushed in several places? They weren’t placing words in very natural ways and it just felt like they needed to do another take for some of the lines. It’s especially noticeable in the beginning voiceover because in most of it he’s speaking at a slower pace and it’s perfect and sounds great, but then he just…speeds up sometimes? And it doesn’t feel intentional and isn’t in places that make it feel like it makes sense to speed up for dramatic effect. In Sister Imp’s voiceover at the end, she is also just speeding through it and it’s incredibly awkward, because in a lot of places it’s noticeably faster than she’s speaking in her other scenes. Like, guys, you know you can shoot more footage right??? You can put some b roll in??? You don’t have to squeeze the whole speech into the shorter shot you have if it’s going to compromise the actor’s delivery.

Tobias' acting was passable for the whole thing, though that might be partially because he's not acting with his face as much as the others, so it's less noticeable when something isn't quite working. Sister Imp did a fine job for the most part, excluding her VO and some awkwardness (and no, not intentional awkwardness) in a couple scenes with Papa Nihil. Papa was also fine; nothing to write home about but nothing terrible stood out to me. Most of the issues probably came from the special effects on him to make him ghostly, which I'm presuming involved him being on a green screen or something (I have no clue. Idk anything about making effects lmao.) I'm NOT going to really review the acting of the stagehands because that's not their main job and they already had a lot of work to do, but it wasn't so bad as to take anything away from the scenes they're in. Basically, the acting overall was okay, but not great, and it adds to how much the scenes drag on for sure.

Tiny section about the animated Mary On A Cross segment: I'm not gonna comment on the bad animation, because it's on purpose and emulating old Hanna-Barbera cartoons. My issue is that it makes zero sense and goes nowhere. Nihil chases Sister Imp around for a while looking forlorn and sad and desperate, and she runs away/beats him up while looking pissed off until they come across a graveyard and she pulls him into a kiss. Then it cuts to Nihil naked in a hotel room in the morning while she storms off angrily....okay? And? What changed her mind? Why is she still angry in the morning? Why does this matter at all? Knowing that Papa IV was the product of a one night stand is a footnote if this is all we get from it. Just weird, and didn't fit the song IMO.

Editing: super frantic and distracting in places, particularly the fast cuts in the concert footage. It's just a lot and can be disorienting. Nothing is really allowed to sit on screen for very long (which is related to another point...) but at the same time, some of the movie shots just linger for no reason. They're just awkward and clunky and repetitive. Some people disliked the crowd shots, but I thought they were fun and cute and used sparingly enough. Shout out to the dude in the nun costume!

Weird lack of concert footage: what they chose to keep and what to cut was just confusing. Most of the footage was just Tobias singing, short shots of the Ghouls rocking out, and crowd footage. Almost none of the Ghoul antics that they're known for, unless Tobias was also in shot and involved. Whenever he went backstage and a Ghoul took the spotlight (I'm sorry, I can never remember who is who, but it was usually White Guitar Ghoul if I recall correctly), it cut to a story moment which, again, were boring, repetitive, and told us nothing. It just felt disrespectful to cut out so much of the Ghouls and their performances, especially because the crowd and the fans love them a lot. They add so much to Ghost's live shows and, in my opinion, are more important to Ghost than Tobias. I don't care if that's a "controversial" Ghost opinion to have, but it really is true. I think anyone could be any of the Papas. But the Ghouls, even when they get changed out, are always so talented, so energetic, so passionate, and make Ghost what it is in a live setting. They were also missing from all but one movie scene, where one of them asks if they're doing an encore, and for a second I thought the line had been spoken by one of the stagehands. That's it.

(Okay, there's also there in the scene where Sister Imp dies, but they're just standing there.)

I can't speak for if the Ghouls themselves felt a bit sidelined or disrespected by this. I can't say for certain if they even wanted a bigger presence outside of the concert footage. But I can definitely say that, from a fan perspective, the lack of the Ghouls compared to how OFTEN Tobias is on screen, backstage, doing NOTHING when we could be watching the Ghouls was GLARINGLY obvious. It felt weird and it felt uneven. I started getting really irritated by about the third time it cut backstage when I could be watching the Ghouls! It just led to the whole thing feeling super vain and self-important considering Tobias wrote the film to be this way. Some people have defended this by saying, "well, they're the Nameless Ghouls!" but that's bullshit. They're part of Ghost canon too, so why don't we get anything from them? We can't even see a little bit about how they might be feeling regarding a Clergy mix up? Whether they care about the current Papa, or anything like that? Involving them would feel so much more interesting than just another Papa, but this one wants to KEEP singing!! Again, maybe the Ghouls didn't want to be more involved...but it felt off.

I've never seen Ghost live, so I had no frame of reference for how much was cut from the concert footage aside from the lack of Ghoul antics, which is what they're known for, but apparently several people who were at the concerts filmed for this noticed a ton of footage that was cut (again, mostly Ghouls) that they thought would have been more fun to see compared to so many backstage shots. And yet we got the sequence of him in a boxing outfit, walking through the crowd, which ended with...nothing? He just...does that? Waste of time. (AND YES, I KNOW that it is a reference. That doesn't make it good. It didn't need to be there. Replace it with something relevant.) It just exemplifies how much time is wasted in this movie.

Special effects: oh my god did anyone even look at this movie before sending it out Jesus Christ. The special effects are so bad I was genuinely shocked. When Papa IV and Papa Nihil are talking while IV is in a box (for some reason?? I actually don't know why) Nihil is weirdly sized and not lined up properly. It was odd. The greenscreen was so godawful I was honestly amazed. It's YouTuber comedy sketch levels of greenscreen quality. What the fuck? Especially compared to the amazing performance and how much work is put into their live shows, the horrid effects stood out starkly. Another comment on Nihil: his face is hard to see in some scenes. His ghostly effects make his features kind of blur together sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't, so it clearly wasn't intentional. Just another odd thing. The effect of him getting sucked into his body for his sax performance was very, very bad. I know you had the option to put more time and/or money into the effects, Tobias. Why did you not. What is your problem. Why the fuck would you put out a product of this quality for money and act like it's okay, especially considering the fact that this was marketed as a lore-heavy MOVIE and not just a concert film? If this was a smaller production I would not rag on the effects, but I know for a fact that Tobias has the resources for this to be better, and he chose to not use them. Honestly, it feels disrespectful.

That's the crux of my issues with this movie, really. It was teased as a real movie with real lore and serious effects on the canon of Ghost, and it was none of those things. The lore amounted to Sister Imp dying, which means nothing, because ghosts, and Cardi becoming Frater Imperator at the very end and then the movie ending. It's NOTHING. There's also an end credit scene apparently, which I did not stay to view, because I didn't care and I had been sitting for long enough. Basically, there are ghosts (including Sister Imp, obvi) and then another cliffhanger about meeting the new Papa, and an implication that Cardi has a twin who might be the new Papa. People are freaking out about this possibility. I have no idea why. It really doesn't seem like a big deal at this point when all the Papas have a crazy family situation. A secret twin doesn't even feel like a twist, and it's certainly not enough to count as an addition to the lore when it hasn't even been confirmed. At the risk of sounding rude, fellow Ghost fans, raise your standards. You deserve better.

And that's the crux of my issues with this whole thing. It's mediocre, it's boring, it's absolutely nothing outside of some fun concert footage, and yet it was billed as a must-see film and cost real, actual money to view. If they had been honest about it being a concert movie, I'd have been fine with that! I think they're fun, especially for those of us who can't go to live shows. But we were told it would be more than that, and it wasn't. It feels disrespectful, like Tobias knew he could just put out some slop and people would be okay with it, and it feels even worse because in a way, he was right. Tons of Ghost fans loved this movie, but the more positive reviews I see, the clearer it becomes that they just loved the chance to see the concerts, and love Ghost. Loving Ghost didn't make me love this movie. It just made me disappointed and sad. We could have gotten a great film, but we got something that was low effort because it's obvious that you can take advantage of the fans of something by throwing them crumbs and dressing it up to seem nicer than it is.

I appreciate that individual people on this production put tons of effort into this; the crew, the actors (excluding Tobias) who were clearly doing their best with what they had, and yes, I'm sure even the effects people did what they could with what they had. But all of the parts that were clearly Tobias' call were not high enough quality to be in a movie.

[goldenpinof]

What do you think is happening with the wad recording? What I mean is, obviously Dan’s still working on it and I trust he's doing everything he can, but do you think it will have the same vibe as when it was performed during the tour? Since it's been so long. And do you think, if he doesn't for some reason manage to record it, does he have some kind of backup recording from the tour, be it from one camera, but at least with a passable audio? You know way more about this than I do, sorry if this is not how these things work actually 👀

oi, i don't know anything but i have theories. my roman empire.

i don't think it's gonna be released as wad dvd (not anymore, lol). i still call it dvd because it's easier. it can be put on a streaming platform. he didn't record the whole show during his tour but he has recordings of some shows (segments of some shows) that were used for promo. and i'm sure there is more footage than we have already seen. i think it's a good backup that could be used if other plans went to shit. did they go to shit though?

at the end of October i was told that Inter Talent was reaching out to companies trying to sell wad movie rights, basically (hello, op if you're still here). and then in November Dan told us that, "the oven has almost reached temperature" and i would assume they finally sold the rights. to what exactly? i have no idea. a one-man show? has something to do with the place and the festival we shouldn't name? BBC is involved again? if he actually performed wad show in front of some audience we would have known, i assume. so it leaves me with a theory about the "gay and not proud" format that was surely adapted to wad as much as possible. Bo Burnham: Inside (Daniel Howell edition), idk. or another theory - a mix of the footage they have (the promo one) and Dan "performing" on stage alone. no idea how they would make it look natural but they could try.

in both October and November people called the product a movie and a film. it also makes me think that there's gonna be either bts or actual acting in the final product, instead of just what we saw live. so, not the same vibe for sure.

also, since there were adjustments to the script for almost every live show he probably had to make changes for dvd as well. and also he had enough feedback to modify some jokes. this whole delay of wad dvd is a blessing and curse, honestly. he had a chance to perfect it, and i hope he did.

p.s. if he is only about to perform it in front of an audience for filming purposes, and he was selling only the movie idea to get funds, i'm gonna cry. but it would be funny.

[jomiddlemarch]

My vegetable love should grow 

“But Miss Cressida, it ain’t done!” exclaimed the red-headed housemaid Sally, who had an uncanny resemblance to a fox but without any of a vixen’s daring or speed. Her dark eyes were wet with tears of consternation and darted about anxiously.

“It can be as long as I bring a maid with me. You went along with everything else, you cannot draw some arbitrary line at coming on a call with me during calling hours,” Cressida said, striving to keep her tone even, because she had a positive horror of ranting at the servants the way her father ranted at them and anyone else he deemed beneath him, which was everyone other than Queen Charlotte and possibly the Archbishop of Canterbury. Still, Sally was being difficult and Cressida didn’t have enough pin money left to bribe her into compliance.

“If this works out as I hope, I’ll take you with me,” she said to the maid.

“You already asked me to go with you,” Sally replied. “Did Cook addle your brains when she shouted?”

“I meant, if I am successful and secure the affections of Lord Debling, I should ask Mama to allow me to bring you with me as a maid,” Cressida explained. A more clever maid would have grasped her intention, but a more clever maid would have found a way to refuse Cressida’s undeniably outré scheme.

“A lady’s maid?” Sally breathed, as this was evidently what she considered the absolute pinnacle of existence. She couldn’t do Cressida’s hair worth a toss, however, and her mending was only passable.

“We’ll see,” Cressida said.

“D’you mean to go now, my lady?” Sally asked. 

Cressida almost sighed in relief. She’d have boxed the girl’s ears if she had to, but dragging a weeping maid behind her to Lord Debling’s townhouse what not what she’d planned.

“Yes. Fetch my blue pelisse and then we’ll be off,” Cressida said.

“It’s three years old and covered in braid,” Sally said doubtfully. “You don’t want something more fashionable?”

“Fashion isn’t my primary concern,” Cressida said. She suspected Lord Debling would not notice if she wore her grandmother’s hooded wool cloak, other than for its marten fur trim. The blue went with her eyes and she remembered being hopeful when she first put it on; it had been the Season she thought she might make a match with Viscount Aldertwyne and his five thousand pounds per annum and her recollections were all colored with her earlier rosy optimism. 

“If you say so, my lady,” Sally said.

It was not good Ton to snap at one’s servants’ vapidity or that of anyone who wasn’t a Cit, so Cressida held her tongue. 

It was a significant effort.

Twenty minutes later, Lady Cressida Cowper and her maid stood at Lord Debling’s front door. It was quite tall, but in need of a fresh coat of paint, but the dwelling’s bones, as the saying went, were good and it overlooked a park, which she supposed was some relief to a man who preferred to be out in nature. The park provided plenty of greenery, even if none of it were wild. Cressida imagined the street thronged with carriages as the members of the Ton jockeyed and jostled to get into her latest squeeze, the rooms packed, the ratafia nearly running dry, Lord Debling sequestered in his study or Patagonia.

“Lady Cressida Cowper, to call on Lord Debling,” she announced to his butler. The man did not even blink and she considered that Debling’s unorthodox approach to society would stand her in good stead in her mission. She was ushed down a gracefully proportioned hall that was gloomy due to the paper an earlier Debling had selected. She nodded to herself. She’d avoid all paintings of the hunt and any still-life with a dead fowl, that would satisfy him well enough, and she preferred landscapes anyway.

“The drawing room, my lady,” the butler announced, which was helpful, because it looked little like any drawing room she’d seen. Eloise had dragged her to the British Museum on a rainy afternoon and that was what she felt she’d entered, as the room was full of natural curiosities, some in glass cloches or cases, some merely arrayed on shelves or set down on tables as ornaments. Everything that was not an artifact appeared to be sepia. 

The spiky, spiny, curved shell with its pink flared lip seeming vaguely obscene must be a trial for a housemaid to dust.

Lord Debling set down the book he’d been perusing and removed the spectacles which Cressida would have thought would suit him ill yet somehow contrived to make him more attractive. She didn’t need him to be very attractive and hadn’t anticipated how to respond to his appealing countenance and very broad shoulders in well-fitted superfine. She offered a polite smile, allowing her lips to curve slightly and showing a glimpse of her teeth, while she waited for him to approach her with a greeting.

“Lady Cressida, good afternoon,” he said. “It is good of you to call. I trust I find you well.”

He said all the necessities but as if he were bored by them. His eyes drifted down to her hands and when they returned to her face, there was an expression of interest she’d rarely evoked in a prospective suitor.

“The weather is very pleasant,” she replied.

“I must admit—”

“I expect you—”

They both stopped after speaking at the same time, Lord Debling startled into a laugh that was not one Society would approve, too unstudied, too spontaneous. 

Cressida approved of it quite heartily.

“I’ve brought you something I hoped you might enjoy, but I’m afraid my aspiration may have exceeded my execution,” she said.

“You would have me set my standards low,” he said.

“It’s a vegetable tart, made from a receipt of the French,” Cressida said, using one hand to uncover the pie from its cloth where it sat perched on her knee. Uncloaked, there was no hiding the fact that some of the unevenly sliced vegetables were burnt and the pastry was sadly pale in places. Possibly raw. She hadn’t dared to poke at those spots and risk the entire collapse of the tart. “I know you eschew meat in your repasts and I thought to convey my…appreciation with a dish designed to suit your tastes.”

“I’m sure your Cook has done an admirable job,” Lord Debling said.

“Oh, no, she had nothing to do with it! If she heard you say that, she’d surely give her notice, to think I allowed anyone to believe this a measure of her culinary skill. I made this myself,” Cressida said. 

It was the coup de grâce, or what she believed a coup de grâce was, given the limitations of her last governess whose French was markedly poor, the final blow that would deliver Debling to her or send him fleeing.

“You can cook?” he asked.

“Not very well,” she said, without false humility. “I did not think it would prove that difficult, if it was something a servant could do, but I’ve discovered my talents don’t lie in the realm of cookery.”

Sally, who was amusing herself looking at some pressed leaves or somesuch, made a sound like an incredulous guffaw and Cressida could tell that Lord Debling heard and had schooled his face to remain unaffected.

“I did not think any ladies of the Ton would ever venture to cook or bake or do anything domestic other than prepare a cup of tea with milk and sugar,” he said. 

“They don’t,” Cressida said. “I wanted you to understand, I’m not like the rest of them.”

“Do I need to eat the tart to grasp that fact conclusively?” he said.

“Not really,” she said.

“Good. Then I will eat my portion purely for the enjoyment of it,” he replied.

“That will be little enough,” Cressida said. There’d been a savory custard to be poured over the vegetables that had looked curdled but she’d persevered; now she realized she risked maiming or killing him if he consumed much of her possibly poison pie.

“Allow me to decide, Lady Cressida,” he said and she did not think she mistook his intention. “I think I shall like it very well indeed and will owe you a debt of gratitude. You will need to tell me how I may repay you for your thoughtfulness.”

“You might begin with a waltz at Lady Thimbleberry-Fenwick’s ball tomorrow night,” she said. 

“And perhaps the supper dance as well,” he replied. “Though she will not present a tart anything like this one.”

“Thank the good Lord for that,” muttered Sally in a carrying whisper.

Cressida did something she hadn’t for over a decade. She blushed to the roots of her hair and all the way down her decolletage. She gave thanks for her lace fichu.

“No one has given me anything that has pleased me so well since I was just out of dresses,” he said.

“Truly?” Cressida said, knowing she sounded for all the world like a miss fresh out of the schoolroom.

“Truly,” Lord Debling said. “I don’t bother with lies. Waste of time.”

[subway-tolkien]

Regarding Izzy's role in Ed's life, whether he was a father figure, mentor, jilted lover, whatever, this popped into my head and I'm just going to throw it out there for whoever wants some Izzy+Ed character study.

Season 2 spoilers, obviously. 2nd person, Ed POV. Not really a fic, more like meta-as-prose. I don't know, I just woke up and I'm hungry, leave me alone.

Listen, you're a traumatized teenager, you've just killed your dad, you've never had a positive male role model in your life, and you're on a pirate ship at the mercy of a vicious captain who might as well be your fuckin' dad all over again. You're questioning your life choices and maybe sometimes the churning sea below seems more inviting than it should.

Then one of the other crewmen, a gruff little guy with 2x4s on both shoulders, maybe he sees you struggling, maybe he sees your potential, maybe he sees you as someone easily manipulated—maybe all three. He finds you sniveling and bleeding in the hold after your nth whipping of the week, but instead of laughing and spitting on you like the other crew, he sits down wordlessly and hands you a hunk of bread and a flagon of pisswater ale.

You're a fuckin' idiot, he says. Mouthin' off to people like that's gonna get you killed.

Maybe if they weren't all fuckin' dickheads, you mutter. I'm gonna kill 'em all someday. You don't, not really, you don't want to kill anyone, but you're angry and scared and that's what comes out of your mouth. You hope you haven't just signed your own death warrant by threatening what amounts to mutiny.

Fortunately, your new companion laughs.

Guess I've got to toughen you up, he muses. If you're gonna live long enough.

He takes you under his wing, brings you scraps of food and shows you how to use a sword. He teaches you how to mask your pain, how to ignore it. He teaches you the value of ruthlessness, the importance of a reputation. He's your best friend. He's the father you never had. He's handsome and brave and everything you want to be. You're a little bit in love with him but you don't understand what it means, so you push it aside and focus on staying alive.

Over time, he turns you into a passable pirate, then a good one. At some point your own instincts kick in and it turns out you're not just a good pirate, you're the best, you're a natural, and eventually you're in command of your own ship. Of course, you bring on your mentor as your first mate. You owe him that much, and you're nothing without him by your side.

The glory days are beautiful.

As time goes on, that mentor relationship shifts and changes into something darker, something a little twisted. You can sense that something's changed for him, maybe for you, too. When you find out what it is—sexual attraction, romantic attachment, whatever form it takes—you're curious, admittedly, but your daddy issues, while pretty fuckin' bad, keep you from taking that final step. Maybe you do harbor some attraction, you do love him in your own way, but not the way he wants. Maybe you try, a drunken night here and there, but it's not what you want. You don't know what you want.

You dodge his advances, you change the subject, you fill your time together with plans and strategies so there's no space for the monster between you. You keep breaking his heart because you don't know how to have that kind of relationship with someone who effectively raised you the way your dad never did.

The chasm between you cracks and starts to widen.

Decades later, you're middle-aged, your mentor—though he's not really that anymore, is he? Your relationship has mutated into something almost unrecognizable—is stuck in a rut, happy to be behind the door you're throwing your whole body against to open. Where he once led you to freedom, he's now the keeper of your cage. Everything is gray, gray, gray. The days are long. The sea looks too inviting again.

Then, one day, you hear of a new pirate on the scene, who turns out to be a fascinating, silly, wonderful creature, and you fall in love for the first time. It's VERY different from the love you have for your former mentor, and he knows that. He hates it. Maybe he thought you were just incapable of giving him what he wanted, but turns out you are capable, it's him that's the problem. You've broken his heart again. You're changing, for the better, which takes you further and further away from him.

Then your heart gets broken, and he takes the opportunity to drag you back to his side, except the gray, gray, gray is now black, a void of pain and loneliness you can't fill, you'll never fill. He thinks he'll be enough. He is not. Pain gives rise to the darkest parts of yourself you hoped were long dead and you make the world regret the day you let yourself be hurt. You do the hurting, in the hopes it makes the pain stop.

Spoiler: It doesn't.

And then a bunch of weird shit happens, you kind of die a little bit, and there's mermaids and lesbians and drag queens, it's a whole thing. You claw your way back to sanity and the love of your life, while your former mentor finds himself and his capacity to love in a way he never really understood. You are learning who you are apart from each other and this machine you've built together. You learn to be softer, he learns that being softer is not a character flaw or a weakness. He learns how love is strength. You learn how to trust other people. It's a process, but you're getting there.

The chasm between you remains, but on either side are the beginnings of a bridge.

He said, in the beginning, he wouldn't die for you, except he sort of does, in the end. As he sends you off with his last breaths, he tells you to be yourself, to let yourself be loved. He got you this far, kept you alive long enough to find your place, the right hand to hold, the family you've been searching for since the last time you saw your mother. He didn't know that's what he was doing the whole time, but it was. He didn't know that was how he loved you. You didn't, either.

He dies in your arms, just as you've finally figured out how to love each other the right way. Not as mentor/mentee, father/son, lover to lover, but a secret other thing. Something uniquely yours, too real to define. You never did find your balance in life, but you find it now, your hands covered in blood as his big, stupid heart stops beating.

You lay him to rest in sight of the sea he loved so much, where you can visit and tell him about your days, the fun things you've done, the new life you've built for yourself. There's an even greater divide between you now, life and death, yet somehow you've never been closer. The two of you, a pair of lonely wooden puppets suddenly become real.

You miss him like a limb—and isn't that fuckin' hilarious?

There are nights you can't sleep and you find yourself standing at the window watching storms roll in, the lights of passing ships. You can hear something on the horizon, something in the way the water whispers to the sand as it kisses the shore. A message just for you, not in a bottle but carried by the wind.

You're still a fuckin' idiot.

You smile.

"Love you too, man," you say, an you go back to the life he never meant to give you. The life you wouldn't have without him.

[randomnameless]

AG AU - random Seteth stuff

Being the good host he is, Dimitri heard Seteth's birthday happens on Saint Cichol's Day, and he remembers how Seteth mentionned more than once how Cichol's Treatise on Strategy is very informative and one of the best books about strategy around.

So, even if Seteth might have one copy at the monastery, right now he doesn't have one, right? He found the perfect gift for him!

(also, Lady Rhea assured him he would really appreciate it)

As expected, Seteth was very enthusiastic and thanked him a lot for his thoughtful present. As Rhea didn't expect though, Seteth enjoys collectioning different versions and editions of Cichol's Treatise on Strategy, to check what humans modify with the passing of time and how close they are to his, I mean, Cichol's original version.

Passably annoyed at seeing one of his top strategies being attributed to Saint Macuil ("first he appropriates Indech's achievements and now mine??"), he became really annoyed when some paragraphs mention how Emperor Wilhelm assisted to strategy meetings ("Him?! He always had a hangover or was too busy doing whatever to attend strategy meetings, and always sent his Vestra!")

He became Big Mad (tm) at Rhea ("it wasn't me? Why would ever edit your boring books?") but then Cyril asked him - unaware that it was his birthday - if he could train him with the lance.

Indeed, after talking to Catherine about his problem - aka Rhea not really wanting him to fight because it's too dangerous and he might die - Catherine told him, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, to train to become stronger, duh. So he won't die, and Lady Rhea won't be upset!

Baffled by this "logic", Seteth first wants to refuse, but Cyril insisted. Well, Seteth says he isn't using a lance right now, because the Kingdom needs more axe users, but if he wants, he can try with the young knights under Gilbert's tutelage? He's sure Gilbert will accept to teach Cyril.

"But Lady Rhea said you're the strongest fighter she knows!"

Moved by this declaration, and knowing very well his wyrm of a sister would rather burn her ridiculous hat that say this to his face, he relents and accepts.

Later that day, he meets her and pats her head - like he used to when she was still the sister who found everything he did awesome, and pestered him to have him read her a bedtime story. Rhea smiles, unnerved, and refrains from calling him senile now that he is older.

Meeting with Flayn and her friends, Seteth dreads to eat the cake she most likely made for him today, but thanks to "her friends", it was actually edible, and he thanks, in private, Dedue for helping arrange this "party".

He receives a new quill, a special edition of "Loog and the Maiden of Wind" but the non-racy one, courtesy of Ashe who managed to find one after Flayn told him what Seteth enjoys in his books, a new fishing rod, a dagger from one of his admirers, and a Zanado Fruit (to which Ingrid wondered who put that thing here? It's inedible!).

Thanking everyone for the party, knowing well it was complicated to pull off given the actual context and the on-going war, he returns to his quarters not before patting Rhea's head once again to thank her for the Zanado Fruit - because she can't do anything today it's his birthday, even if he knows she will have her revenge in two weeks.

Rodrigue, who observed that scene from afar wonders, are they siblings or something?

[silvcrsxng]

GOD SAVE THE PROM QUEEN Larissa Weems x oc

A/N: Hello everyone! Soo I had a lot of ideas about a Larissa Weems x oc story, so I decided to turn it into a little fanfic - or even some oneshots. Today I will upload the first part, but I have to ask you for indulgence, because English is not my native language. Without further rambling on my part I would like to start now though - so here you go, have fun while reading!

♕

The Day of the Rave'N. It was depressing to some extent to see how excited Nevermores' students seemed to be about this special evening. A joy which she herself had probably also fully felt - been able to comprehend - a few years ago. But now there was nothing. Nothing, except this hatred and the rage, which sprouted in her. They blazed, like a fire that had just been lit, which had the complete power to destroy everything.

Of course, it was years ago. But the pain about that long ago evening was still deep.

With difficulty, the young woman made her way through the crowd of students who were talking loudly with their friends, standing together in groups, laughing together or playing tricks on each other. A nostalgic sight, considering that she herself was one of those students back then. No, as much as she wanted to, she couldn't quite deny that her school days at this academy had been quite passable. Well, apart from many small exceptions, which had left their mark. But as they say? Scars remind us of what we have experienced, but they do not define our future. So, or something like that - although it was not exactly easy for her to stick to that saying. Because no matter how hard she tried, she could not prevent that everything that had happened still had an influence on her future. It had been the kind of experience that one unconsciously kept in the back of one's mind without even realizing it.

"Elura? Elura McBentley?" a very familiar voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and instantly she raised her head, looking around for the person who had just addressed her. And there she stood. That tall blonde, who had been so beautiful even then and had attracted everyone's attention. Sympathetic, pretty, smart and successful - that's how she could have been described. But she was so much more.

Larissa Weems.

Warm-hearted, charming, fierce, courageous … but above all, she was the most loyal person Elura had ever met. The shock was probably literally written all over her face to see her here. To see her so suddenly. The blonde's warm, friendly smile gradually faded, and a hint of worry crept into her gaze. "Forgive me, I shouldn't have frightened you so much …" Momentarily, the young woman shook her head, dispelling the shock and disbelief from her face, before she too began to smile slightly. "No, please You don't have to apologize for that. I was merely … surprised. After all, it has been some time since we last saw each other, hasn't it?" replied Elura, tilting her head slightly as a way of greeting. Larissa had also put on her smile again - though the worry in her gaze had not entirely disappeared. "True enough. But I am very happy to meet you here again. It was less of a coincidence than an intention that you are here, wasn't it?" she also asked immediately, her interlocutor by no means missing that knowing spark in the tall woman's blue eyes.

"I was in town on personal business - so it was a natural thing to revisit the school after that time. Admittedly … I didn't expect to meet you here," Elura's answer followed immediately, whereupon she gave the blonde an inquiring look. But before she could answer, she was interrupted by one of the many students. "Good morning, Principal Weems!" he greeted her kindly before sprinting down to his friends. "Principal it is. A wise decision, I think - the school is in safe and good hands with you." With hands folded in front of her stomach and a warm smile, she considered the blonde - scrutinizing her expression, memorizing every single detail of her face. She seemed embarrassed for a moment, a soft pink stealing onto her cheeks as she lowered her head slightly. "It's nice that you think so. I thank you for those kind-hearted words."

Silence. Not one of the awkward kind, though, in which no one knows what should be said. There was much to say - much to catch up on. First and foremost … also things that needed to be cleared up. Or at least they should be. But Elura by no means thought of confronting her directly - of confronting her at all. After all, she had never had a single problem with Larissa. She had always liked her - more than she ever should have. And exactly those feelings had been the reason why it had hurt so much in retrospect.

Briefly, a shadow of pain flitted across the young woman's face, causing Principal Weems to clear her throat slightly and avert her gaze, which had only been on the face of her interlocutor for that short time. "Your appearance is quite fitting. Today is the day of the Rave'N - and despite the fact that you are neither a teacher nor a student of this school, I would like to ask you for a small favor," she finally broke the silence, put on a professional expression and gestured Elura to follow her. She did so, without any hesitation.

"A colleague, who was originally also supposed to supervise the festivity, has unfortunately dropped out. Now I have to rely on a replacement - but I hardly need to explain to you how difficult it is to find someone to take over at such short notice," Weems explained, casting a quick sideways glance at her companion. She returned the look, thinking whether it was really such a good idea to stay - even if it was only for this one evening. But she had never, even in her school days, been able to refuse even one favor from Larissa Weems. "You don't have to find anyone else. Provided it would be okay with you, I'd be happy to help you out." The words found their way past her lips before she could have even thought about saying them. It had taken on a life of its own - completely without her consent.

The blonde stopped again, turning to Elura with a relieved smile. "I was hoping to hear those words from you. You've always been dependable, and it looks like that's still the case today." Those words warmed her heart. It was nice to hear that she trusted her - even after all these years. "I would never let you down, Larissa." Words. Words which did not leave her mouth, however. "Yes, I guess so." she answered instead - regretting that she hadn't simply spoken her previous thoughts. For a brief moment, the blonde's smile distorted, though it was only for a few seconds. It had been barely visible, attracting no attention for that very reason.

"Well then, then … I'll see you tonight. Please be here promptly at seven." Distant. That was what those words were. They hurt in an inexplicable way - not only the young woman who had just heard them. No, also the blonde who had uttered them. "Of course. I'll be there."

Larissa merely nodded, finally turning on her heel and disappearing up the stairs. Standing back, the young woman watched her go until she could fully accept that she would not return. Not then, and not now.

A heavy sigh left her lips before she turned back as well. What had she gotten herself into again?

[lv-iceprince]

@jaehyunite

Oh my...

Je suis tellement timide que je commence en français.

Avant tout, merci. J'aimerais aussi être ton ami, et je suis désolée de ne pas t'avoir envoyé de message privé, mais j'étais si timide. Tu as l'air d'être un homme parfait 😙 J'essaie de rester calme, mais Jaehyun a toujours les meilleurs admirateurs.

Je n'ai jamais été aussi audacieux, alors je vais me calmer, mais j'accepte toujours ton offre d'amitié.

Now back to English, thank you so much for requesting sweetheart and I hope this ship made it to you at the right time and that you like it! And I haven't spoken French in a hot minute so I hope it's passable haha. I promise I will actively talk to you and be a friend or mutual, I just wanted to use this ship as a way to ask if we could be friends. I was actually spending so much time trying to word this in a way where I wouldn't seem like a simp.

I'll stop rambling so enjoy and I hope you're having a good day!

There is something so right about shipping you with Minho. Sometimes love lacks its loud and boisterous ways yet it’s still the truest type of love you could ever feel when looking at someone.

This is the case for you and Minho, so much could be said in a look and Minho’s deep brown eyes hold all the answers to your questions. What I’m saying is that there is such confidence in your relationship, you both know that you are each other’s ideal and that no one would be able to change how you feel about each other.

It started as a deep relationship, one born from mutual soul searching and it only got deeper overtime. Minho was all too prepared for this to be a ride or die situation, he just knew that he would want to stay with you for what could be the rest of his life.

Since this is an overall ship, I definitely took into consideration how amazing you would look with Minho by your side (you don’t need him to look attractive, but you do look good as a couple if you get what I mean).  

Both of you possess this air of confidence, a knowing smirk, and while it could seem obnoxious it isn’t in this case. Both of you have what could only be labelled as charm.

While there are some mutual features that make you both seem mature and well beyond your years in personality and intelligence there is still such a pretty contrast between you. We all know Minho has such cold, ice prince-like visuals but somehow you make him look so young, wide-eyed, and youthful.

It’s literally so crazy how you make him look like the naïve princess of the relationship. Again, he isn’t but it is just so amazing pretty both of your visuals are.

You on the other hand look like the definition of the handsome boy next door, this might sound odd, but your visuals seem humbler? Quieter almost? Then the average person. You’re mysteriously pretty and your visuals alone say so much about your personality. Combine this with Minho and you have a match made in heaven.

Now back to the more wholesome written part of your ship.

Everything you said about your personality and your hobbies lines up with Minho’s energy, he may not have the exact same interests but everything that you are, everything you like, creates a sense of stability for Minho.

The combination of your love of vintage or classical things and your love of the commonalities of life creates such a nice atmosphere for you to share what you like or dislike about life. This also relates to the fact that Minho absolutely adores your critical nature. Minho is also a pretty blunt and honest person, and he feels so comfortable in a relationship where you can both speak your minds without any extra judgement. He actually encourages you to just let it all out, because amongst everything you say there might be a confession of love.

Another thing to add to the wholesomeness meter is the way you spend time with each other.

Minho really feels like he is living his best domestic life when you go out to a café and have a coffee, or better yet sitting at an airport with you when you’re resting between travelling with a hot coffee or tea and the ambience of people going about their lives.

Somehow overhearing the lives of strangers helps to ground you and reminds you that amongst the millions of people in the world you were able to find each other.

It was so hard to ship you with just one person so I just wanted to say I also really ship you with Baekhyun (EXO), Taeyang (SF9) and Kihyun (Monsta X).

[hasgudagudadoneanythingwrong]

hello, it's been a long time. i hope the crew is alright. this is not specifically a sprite comment ask, i would just like to know your thoughts on this. What do you think Izou would be like in the role of a malewife? very interested to know (for research purposes) thank u ^^

Hm. This is a difficult question that I do not know, but primarily because I don't even really think about or know what qualifies as a 'malewife' that much. No, really, what even is a malewife?? Does it just mean they do stereotypical housewife things like laundry/cooking/cleaning while the other partner does Job™ things??? I do not know, but I am going to assume it is somewhere in that direction probably ?? I am hoping I am doing this right.

Anyway, I think Izou would probably either downplay what he does housekeeping-wise (saying he was annoyed by or "couldn't stand" something not being done so he did it very begrudgingly, definitely totally not because he cared about picking things up around the house for you, or just doing things "on a whim"), or take his responsibilities very seriously (aka hyper-vigilant about making sure you both have everything you need, arriving places not just on-time but early, etc). Maybe both, depending on how openly expected or not it is of him.

I don't know if he'd be good per se at like. General housekeeping stuff like cooking/cleaning, since I don't think he ever had to do that kind of thing much in life and I don't think it's important enough for him to learn now as long as it gets done somewhat passably well, so I think food getting burnt might be a somewhat common occurrence, as well as perhaps occasionally disregarded instructions when "following" recipes (saying it's "good enough" otherwise) lol

I think he'd also get kind of frustrated with paying bills and such, since I don't think he has the greatest sense of money/budgeting/due date management/understanding of how things like credit cards or loans even work.

Depending on the kind of relationship you have with him, I could maybe also see him being kind of wary/suspicious of anyone new you introduce to him?? Not necessarily that you'd run off with them or anything, but rather, not automatically trusting that they don't have some sort of ulterior motive or intent to harm you. As such, I think he'd be fine with whatever you get up to, but would probably want to stick around in one way or another when you head out on your own someplace to make sure you stay safe and don't like. get beat up in an alley somewhere or anything.

I think if he's not allowed to follow you to wherever though (as a +1 or in spirit form or questionably hanging out in the parking lot for several hours) he'd probably be very productive with the housework, getting a lot of things done by means of anxiety to keep from chewing on the curtains while you're gone. Perhaps routinely checking in with you (via text or telepathy or however) just to keep the anxiety down, too.

So basically, I uh, don't really know if he'd make for a great housewife, but since that may have different qualities than a malewife does, perhaps the dream is still alive??

Listen, I don't go here because I think he makes for a great wife, I'm just here because I think his pathetic and/or spiky nature is sexy. I might trust him with my life as he points his sword at me but I would absolutely not trust him with my bills as he says he'll take care of things.

[agentnico]

Ghosted (2023) Review

Adrien Brody’s crappy French accent in this movie I could have forgiven, if only I haven’t seen John Wick: Chapter 4 a couple of weeks ago where I experienced the most delightful Parisian mouthing of Bill Skarsgard’s villain, so now Brody’s French-ish slur sticks out like a sore thumb. And boy is this one sore thumb. Everything is not j’aime up in this joint.

Plot: Cole falls head over heels for enigmatic Sadie, but then makes the shocking discovery that she's a secret agent. Before they can decide on a second date, Cole and Sadie are swept away on an international adventure to save the world.

This is the third time Chris Evans and Ana de Armas are co-starring in a film together, following the fantastic murder mystery Knives Out and the Netflix action film The Gray Man. As such this pairing on paper seems like a natural one, however upon seeing the new Ghosted film on Apple TV+ I have made quite the peculiar discovery - these two have absolutely zero chemistry. I mean none whatsoever. All their flirting comes of as cringeworthy, the romance is none existent and I didn’t buy into their relationship whatsoever. Their kissing scenes reminded me of that Andrew Garfield/Emma Stone SNL sketch where they don’t know how to kiss on camera. It was just awkward. And when in a rom-com your central couple have no chemistry, well then the movie is doomed to fail as is. Also, talk about a miscast! Chris Evans is supposed to play a farmer boy with an inhaler having an innocent outlook on life, yet it’s so hard not to see him as the alpha male, as such making his casting very questionable. Ana de Armas is usually a likeable presence, however, again, here is very bland and forgettable. And wears a wig. A very obvious wig, made the more obvious by the Twitter community, so thank you guys. It’s a shame really, as one could have easily done a trashy silly spy rom-com with A-list actors. Just look at Mr & Mrs Smith - an absolutely stupid movie but its hard to deny the sex appeal of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie together... though obviously that hasn’t aged too well but back then they were fire!

There’s a lot of talent involved behind the camera here. Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick who are known as the writers of the very successful and entertaining Deadpool movies have story credits here, and Dexter Fletcher is in the director’s chair. Evidently all three must have been undergoing some kind of collective erectile dysfunction causing their creative juices to dry out like water in a desert, as this movie consists of all the possible Hollywood plot cliches imaginable, with a painfully unfunny script, boring direction and general nonsense. Fletcher is fresh off the heels of his previous directorial outing with the Elton John biopic Rocketman that was visually filled with colour and charm, yet here the directing is so shallow and plain. So uninspired. As for the action sequences, they are there I guess. There’s a somewhat passable fight/chase on a bus, but even then, all those stunts you would have seen before. 

Ghosted would have been a perfectly acceptable affair back in the early 2000s, however in 2023 it is simply ticking off every generic cliché of a Hollywood action film, only not anywhere as good as the movies its ripping off, nor that funny either. There’s even a few pointless cameos thrown in, and I do mean pointless. So in a nutshell, not worth getting Apple TV+ for anyway, however if you’re wondering about that streaming service, there is a delightful movie about the backstory of Tetris that came out on there recently starring Taron Egerton, and that’s actually much more interesting. 

Overall score: 3/10

[sharpiepaws]

art questions

this was supposed to be like oooooh send in a number and i'll answer it but i don't feel like waiting i wanted to answer these all NOW whether you want answers or NOT 1. Art programs you have but don’t use i've installed firealpaca, medibang, drawpile, i think i have a crack of paint tool sai still, know i have a crack of csp lying around. truth be told the last time i used a digital art program that wasn't gimp was 2 years ago where i drew like 3 things in drawpile. 2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even) full front and 3/4 either direction are equally easy. it's profiles that are difficult. 3. What ideas come from when you were little a lot of my ocs come from when i was 13-ish. from when i was a little kid tho not much carries over except a theme of things being genetically engineered in some way. 4. Fav character/subject that’s a bitch to draw folliage/nature. i need to take a lot of references to make plants and foresty sorta landscapes look passable. 5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself i think i post nearly everything that's complete, and i complete nearly everything. anything that isn't posted is part of a larger whole and eventually will get posted. so probably like over 95% of what i do is posted online. 6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn’t supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it) 60s anime and akira toriyama's earlier work (dr slump/dragon ball). idk. smthn about the eyes. 7. A medium of art you don’t work in but appreciate vector artwork. tried it when i was 14 and hated it. just doesn't mesh well i'm a bitmap boy. 8. What’s an old project idea that you’ve lost interest in esther's redemption angel story. it's not really interesting to me and the afterlife "oh i'm a good angel and i help demons!" just feels really played out? i blame vivzie. 9. What are your file name conventions 001 002 003, a combination of keywords, or ajhgkjahkj 10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw puffy sweaters. any winter clothes really. 11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what yea i listen to pretty much anything. i kinda just pick an album or a dj set at random. i mostly listen to electronic music or alt rock. 12. Easiest part of body to draw arms. legs are a close second. 13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn’t your thing ... i don't think i have something like that if i don't like their work i don't really get interested in them lol. idk hidetaka miyazaki? for being a huge out masochist in interviews? that shit's funny. only played dark souls 1 tho. 14. Any favorite motifs characters grappling with their own mortality in some way shape or form 15. *Where* do you draw (don’t drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth) in my room. at my desk. 16. Something you are good at but don’t really have fun doing scriptthttt writttingg.g.. i forgot how much you have to Write to create Thing they can't just be nebulous ideas or cool scenes one after the other. 17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what i dink my oiter. and sometime my monsert if i want to feel like shit and have a really fast heart rate for a really long time. 18. An estimate of how much art supplies you’ve broken my collection of dried up poscas and copics and highlighters and literally any other marker is huge i'm sure. also i have popped the nib off of prismacolor's 005 fineliner at least twice. (prisma fineliners suck get staedtler or faber-castell instead) 19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.) plants no contest. rooms are also really cool. 20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy hands. i've always liked them. 21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways i dig baroque era paintings quite a bit. 22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any none i rawdog that sketchbook 23. Do you use different layer modes the closest thing i have to layers is my lightbox. 24. Do your references include stock images yes of course absolutely 25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by BEASTARS. i guess because furry? lol 26. What’s a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended i haven't finished any of my Works yet so i don't have an answer for this yet but i have a sneaking suspicion that one of them will be wildly misinterpreted but we shall see 27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with no not really. i didn't even realize warming up was a concept until like, this year or smthn 28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines) i did work for CUTE CERVID on their first comp. other than that no i am too reclusive and hate interacting with the Art Community at large to participate in most zines. 29. Media you love, but doesn’t inspire you artistically jet set radio funnily enough. the game literally about art hahahah i don't think i've ever drawn jet set radio fanart and i've been into that game for like 4 years now 30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

this one. it's literally one of the best things i've ever drawn and everytime i post it it gets like 5 like/fav/engagements MAX

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Sengoku Warlord Service Prologue

Present day...

Sasuke's room is filled with seventeen warlords from the Sengoku era.

Sasuke: "Ladies and gentlemen, I've finally predicted when the next wormhole will appear. There is a high probability that it will be in a month."

Kicho: "It's been two months since we were sent here. It's definitely consistent with the cycle."

Hideyoshi: "I'm surprised it's been that long already."

Kennyo: "We all had a hard time finding jobs back then."

Motonari: "Oi, Kennyo. Didn't you stay at the temple right away?"

Masamune: "Others were almost caught by the cops several times."

Kenshin: "I never thought I would be reprimanded for carrying a sword."

Mitsuhide: "Good thing Mai fooled them by saying it was just a drama shoot."

Keiji: "Mai also helped us find jobs after that."

Mitsunari: "I can't thank Lady Mai enough."

Sasuke: "True. That's why I'd like to discuss this with you."

Sasuke: "Gentlemen, why don't we open a concept café for Mai?"

All: "Concept Cafe?"

Shingen: "Cafe means a teahouse in this time, right?"

Sasuke: "Yes. We call it a concept café when certain elements are added to it."

Sasuke: "For example, maid cafes and cat cafes."

Ranmaru: "Oh, I tried that cat cafe before! All the cats were so cute and so relaxing ☆."

Sasuke: "That's right, a concept café is not just a teahouse. It's an establishment that offers relaxation to people."

Yukimura: "You mean we're going to help Mai relax after taking care of us?"

Sasuke: "Bingo. Only if we can get her approval, though."

Nobunaga: "Hm. The answer is already obvious then."

Kenshin: "If it'll make Mai happy, count me in."

Sasuke's expressionless face relaxed, seeing everyone nodding.

Sasuke: "Thank you. I will arrange everything you need on my end."

Motonari: "We'll need more than one store. We don't want 17 people crammed into one place."

Shingen: "Right? What I want to see is a goddess smile, not these guys."

Sasuke: "You're charming, Lord Shingen, so I'm sure you'll please Mai."

Kenshin: "Don't be stupid. The one who will please her the most would be me."

Ieyasu: "There's no way you can do that."

Mitsuhide: "Then that means I'm the best?"

Hideyoshi: "What makes you say that!?"

Yoshimoto: "Why don't we let Mai choose?"

Kanetsugu: "So you want her to decide who's the best?"

Ranmaru: "Are you sure? I'm confident I'll win."

Masamune: "Funny coincidence. Me too."

Sasuke: "Well, let's just put up a ballot box in the store and get on with the work as quickly as possible."

Finally, the day before the opening of the cafe...

[Butler Cafe "Steward"]

Yukimura: "Welcome back, milady."

Shingen: "Yuki, you forgot to smile."

Shingen: "This is a butler's cafe. You should be nicer than that."

Yukimura: "There's no way I can do that! I'm already embarrassed enough."

Hideyoshi: "We're trying to please Mai. Bear with it."

Yukimura: "Ha? Why don't you do it!?"

Hideyoshi: "Welcome back. What would you like to drink?"

Yukimura: "Ugh..."

Mitsuhide: "Too bad. Hideyoshi's natural traits make him a good butler."

Yukimura: "Then how about you, Mitsuhide!?"

Mitsuhide: "Welcome back, my lady. Let me show you to your seat."

Yukimura: "-----!"

Shingen: "You still look sus, but it's still passable."

Kanetsugu: "Give up, Yukimura. You can't do it if you don't smile."

Yukimura: "You haven't even smiled for the last hour!"

Kanetsugu: "I only listen to Lord Kenshin's orders."

Mitsuhide: "Well, Kanetsugu's unexpected smile is more likely to be a hit with customers."

Shingen: "Yuki, one more time."

Yukimura: "Damn it. Welcome back, milady."

Hideyoshi: "Your expression is still stiff!"

Yukimura: "W-Welcome back, milady!!"

[Wizard Cafe "Witch & Craft"]

Ranmaru: "Lord Ieyasu, what are you making?"

Ieyasu: "It's chili coffee."

Keiji: "Wow! Even I, an eccentric, didn't have that idea."

Ranmaru: "If it tastes good, then it's truly magical!"

Yoshimoto: "But the color is not pretty."

Masamune: "The smell is not good either."

Motonari: "It's definitely not a good match."

Ieyasu: "Don't say that until you've had at least one sip."

Motonari: "I don't drink things made by others."

Yoshimoto: "I'm only interested in good food."

Keiji: "Sorry, but mochi is all I eat."

Ieyasu: "The last one is definitely a lie."

Ranmaru: "Oh, but wait! I think there are drinks like that in other countries."

Ranmaru quickly pulls out his phone and searches for it.

Masamune: "I see. So you can use chili peppers as a spice in Latte."

Yoshimoto: "This looks good."

Ieyasu: "Wait a minute. Where did you get that phone, Ranmaru?"

Ranmaru: "Sasuke prepared it for me. I wanted to get in touch with Lady Mai."

All: "-----!"

Motonari: "You've got some guts sneaking around with that cute face of yours."

Ranmaru: "Really? Don't think I'll lose to you, Lord Motonari."

Yoshimoto: "Since Ranmaru beat us to it, I'm going to get serious too."

Keiji: "Let's see who can offer the most wizardly service!"

Masamune: "I'll be the one chosen, though."

[Detective Cafe "Reichenbach"]

Sasuke: "Gentlemen, we have a serious situation."

Kicho: "What's the matter, something wrong?"

Sasuke: "Look at the kitchen. The tea we just stocked yesterday..."

All: "----!"

Nobunaga: "There are tea leaves scattered all over the floor."

Kicho: "Someone must have dropped the tea can. I found it on the counter."

Kennyo: "But I didn't hear any noise."

Nobunaga: "He must have dropped it in an isolated area before going to work."

Kenshin: "Easy peasy, there's no need to guess. You're the culprit."

Mitsunari: "Yes, that is correct."

Sasuke: "CUT! Mitsunari, please deny it first. You confessed too soon."

Sasuke: "This café sells mystery-solving & tea time, so you need to put more effort into your acting."

Kenshin: "Seriously. I thought the tea leaves on your sleeve would be the clue to your crime."

Mitsunari: "I'm sorry. Not admitting what I did is harder than I thought."

Kennyo: "I don't think he can play the role of the culprit."

Nobunaga: "So you want us to leave this to you?"

Kennyo: "Only if I can accidentally kill you."

Sasuke: "Please stop. I don't want a real case."

Kicho: "Then I'll take the role."

Mitsunari: "Kicho-dono?"

Kenshin: "I find it all the more disturbing."

Sasuke: "No, it could work."

Kennyo: "What?"

Sasuke: "If we imagine Nobunaga and Kicho as a detective and a math professor in a famous mystery novel..."

Sasuke: "I'm sure Mai will be thrilled."

Nobunaga: "Oh? Fine, I'll leave the directing to you."

Who can entertain Mai to her satisfaction?

Their fate all depends on Mai's vote.

☕ Ikesen Election Event Masterlist

[wasabito]

➽ impatient collab masterlist — hosted by the lovely @ultimate-astridwriting

➽ words: 1.0k

➽ prompt: “really? you wanna have sex... here? now?”

➽ cw/tags: heavy-petting, fingering, nipple play, pet names, established relationship & fun times in a public gym lol

Shouta Aizawa was the last person anyone would’ve called impulsive. He was a straight-laced man after all. It wasn’t in his nature to do things unpremeditated. Things were always planned out to the letter and executed with the utmost precision. A fact that held true even as he continued his career as a pro-hero and eventually a teacher at his alma mater. 

Nearly everything about him, down to the socks he wore each morning, was deliberate and intentional. 

However, life was fickle in contrast; realistically speaking, nothing really ever went according to plan. Sometimes, one had to learn the beauty of improvising.

Which was exactly what he was doing, lips locked with yours, two fingers knuckles deep in your cunt. Let no person say that Aizawa couldn’t be spontaneous when given the perfect opportunity, because that simply wasn’t true.

“Really? You wanna have sex…. here? Now?”

You had sounded so surprised, unsure even, when he first broached the topic. It was a novelty he was not accustomed to.

The 24-hour gym facility the two of you had discovered was somewhat of a hole-in-the-wall. Perfect for a hero like him who wasn’t fond of being accosted by civilians (though that was rare). You both had so much energy left to burn even after a full day's events, what better way to do so than with brazilian calisthenics. 

Who cared if it was well past midnight?

He kept his gaze on you nearly the entire time. With every twist and turn of your body, Aizawa felt his mouth go dry. The way sweat licked at your skin, glistening under the bright lights. The way your gym clothes clung to your body like second skin. Every move you made seemed to douse his libido in gasoline.

Forty minutes into the workout, and you had begun to breathe heavy. You bent over to stretch, perky ass tooted in the air—Aizawa would’ve accused you of teasing him if he hadn’t known any better. You looked about ready to topple over, there was no faking that.

“Let’s hit the showers before you pass out.” he said while he toweled off his neck. “If you faint, I won’t bother dragging your butt all the way home.”

You had pouted softly before taking a sip from his bottle. “So mean…anyway, I feel gross so there’s no need for empty threats.”

Grabbing your gym bag, you headed towards the communal showers, completely unaware of the downright debauched look your boyfriend was giving you while he silently followed behind. 

Despite your initial confusion, persuading you hadn’t been hard at all. You merely smirked, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as your fingers made quick work of his shirt, tossing the hindrance overhead. You’d backed yourself into a corner of a random shower cubicle with him in tow, providing yourselves with a barely passable amount of cover. 

“I really wanna ask what’s gotten into you, Shou. But whatever it is, I think I’m diggin’ it.”

Aizawa gave nothing more than a groan as you palmed his growing erection, wondering how long he had been enduring the strain in his pants. He had little to worry about though, you were intent on taking care of him.

You tugged on his waistband, and at the same time, he fumbled with the straps of your sports bra. 

“Here, let me.” Grinning wickedly, you pulled it off in one fluid motion. Your breasts were free for only a second before Aizawa had them in his hands, squeezing lightly and peppering them with kisses. 

It was a good thing the entire facility was empty. At almost two in the morning, the chances of you being interrupted was negligible. 

Aizawa’s tongue darted past his lips to lick and suck at your pert nipples. He rolled each one with his tongue, giving equal attention to both. All the while, you grinded into his bare thigh, desperate for some form of friction. Slowly, methodically, he kissed his way up your collarbone and neck until his lips were just shy of your ear. “Need a hand?”

You shivered and nodded.

Getting your leggings off was no great feat, but the strength to keep his shit together in the face of your naked body—now that required mental fortitude. You reached for him again, stroking him slowly, loving the way he panted in your ear. His calloused fingers had already slid between your thighs, prodding you. Soon enough he was slipping a single finger in, then another right after that.

“O-Oh, right there,” you breathed, backed against the cold tiled walls. “God—I can’t believe I let you talk me into this—” Your words were cut short by a moan falling from your lips.

“Oh, kitten~ you’re so cute, making those sounds for me. You can relax; I’ve got you.” 

At the sound of his rumbling voice, you felt as if butterflies had been set loose in your stomach. Though you could barely make out anything more with the way your heart was pounding in your ears. The fingers he had in you crooked, pressing against a specific bundle of nerves that had you quite literally seeing stars.

“Fuck, Shou—don-don’t stop.” You felt yourself tense against him, fingers digging into his shoulder blade. Your legs were like jelly, but thankfully, Aizawa held you flush against him. With your breasts pinned against his chest, and his fingers pumping in out of you, your attention was divided. You didn’t know what to focus on, except the fire burning under your skin. 

Aizawa pressed firm kisses along your jawline, trailing up until his lips were stitched with yours in a searing kiss. “Such a pretty kitty,” he whispered against your bottom lip. “Look at how wet you are. This all for me?”

You wanted to respond. But a half-second later, you both were shot with a spray of ice cold water, causing you to yelp, scrabbling further into Aizawa's fumbling arms.

“Shit—” 

“They’re automatic!” You squeaked. 

Apparently, the shower head that hung over the two of you was motion sensitive. And sadly, you had taken the brunt of it, leaving you chilly and shivering, your lust momentarily mollified.

Aizawa pushed his hair back with a sigh. “Guess we’ll have to finish this at home...any objections?”

With a pout, you crossed both arms around his neck, leaning your weight on his sturdier frame. Maybe you could get some of his body heat too.

“Not really… so long as you don’t fall asleep on me, ya bum.”

Your only consolation was a chuckle from him as he wrapped an arm around your hips.

“Trust me, I won’t. Not until I wear you out at least.”

You’d just have to hold him to that promise.