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#there's still a few months left for me to think about it
verstxppen33 · 2 days
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this wasn't meant to happen
summary: oops, you left your diary at his house... | autumn special!
genre: a sprinkle of fluff
warnings: use of y/n
pairing: lando norris x reader // friends to lovers
a/n: super cliché, i know, i know
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The raindrops dropped gently against your window, creating a soothing sound. As soothing as it was, it didn't really comfort your anxiousness of your diary being gone. You rummaged through everything and everywhere, even in the bathroom. But it was nowhere to be found.
Unless you've taken it to Lando's house...you took it to Lando's house?!
Meanwhile, Lando found a scarlet-coloured notebook on his bedside table. Out of curiosity, he picked it up and opened it.
"Dear Diary,
Today, I had to take care of a drunk Lando. He kept mumbling about me being so precious and pretty? I didn't quite take it seriously, but the way he spoke was just too affectionate. Not to mention, he was very clingy too."
Lando's eyes shot wide open, as he remembered the morning after "the incident". It was your diary. He quickly shut the diary, a slight blush on his cheeks. He didn't want to invade your privacy, even if all of your thoughts and feelings could just be opened right here and now. It'd be a bad thing to do, right?
He resisted the urge only for a few minutes, letting out a slight giggle and opening up the book and sliding to the next page. He looked around his bedroom like if someone was watching him, then sitting against his headboard and reading curiously.
"Hey there,
Something's going on with my mind, and I don't even have the energy to write anything. Quick and short, I might be in love? With Lando, perhaps? I have no idea. He's just too cute! It's wrong to fall in love with my bestfriend, isn't it? Nevertheless, I have some things to do:"
What? In love? Lando stopped immediately stopped reading. He didn't really care about the other pages now, definitely not your To-do list.
He silently cursed himself for invading your privacy like that and letting his curiosity win over. He closed the book and thought about giving it back to you.
Still in slight panic, you were drinking a cup of tea, leaning against the countertop, wondering where your damn diary was. You almost never wrote into it, but it still felt so damn important. The rain already stopped pouring, leaving an earthy smell in the crisp of the autumn air.
A ring on your doorbell could be heard and you put your cup of tea down, wondering who would it be. As you opened the door, you smiled at Lando's sight, but as your gaze darted over to the scarlet notebook he was holding—your diary, your smile faltered.
"I think it was yours." Lando spoke up sheepishly, holding the diary out for you to take. You rapidly take it from his hands.
"Did...Did you read it?" you ask nervously, even though you had no idea what was in it anymore, since the last time you wrote in it was months ago.
"Maybe, y/n, Maybe." he responded with a faint smile. "I got too curious. And I've think I've read enough." You raised an eyebrow. Was that a good or a bad thing? What the hell did you write into that notebook?
"What did you see, exactly?" you asked curiously, leaning into him unconsciously.
"You're in love with me." Lando responded bluntly with a slight chuckle, noticing your cheeks heating up immediately. "No, it's fine. It's fine. I maybe I am too, and I'm maybe just figuring it out."
Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He responded to it quickly and wrapping his arms around you as well, grinning widely. He gently lifted his hand to run through the strands of your hair, his hand slightly cold from the autumn breeze.
You two have a lot to figure out.
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aniesvision · 20 hours
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𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆 | 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝟐
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𓅷𓃗 𝙽𝚒𝚌𝚔, 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚘 𝚡 𝙵! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗, 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈
𝚊/𝚗: 𝒉𝒆𝒚𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒄, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒊 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒆, 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆 ☕︎
𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎?
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Matt's pov
I was scrolling through tiktok when I found that account. A few comments mentioned it, making me curious to check it out. They were so sure it was her old account, bringing up tweets about things she'd definitely say nowadays, stuff about me and my brothers when she was just a fan, it made me think of what she used to say.
I searched the name up and it popped out immediately, she didn't have a lot of followers but there were a lot of tweets. I started to read a few, not minding most of them since it was just random comments about her life or about our videos. I was about to leave the website when one of her tweets got my attention.
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3rd person
Matt's eyes immediately widen at the words he is reading. He couldn't even believe his friend would say something like that about him, but the really surprising thing was that he liked it.
He continued reading some tweets, taking screenshots and finding it amusing to know how you really feel about him, or felt, he wasn't sure, those tweets were from months ago.
A few days passed and Matt still couldn't take your tweets out of his mind. He wanted to talk to you, but didn't know how he could confront you about it without it being weird or uncomfortable, so he decided to talk to Nick.
He asked Nick to ask you about that account, showing him screenshots with some of your tweets that weren't so explicit like the last one he saw, but that you still were talking about Matt. He wanted to know if things changed or not, but he wasn't sure how he'd react to any of the possible answers you could give.
And then, the next day, Nick was pissed at you, and Matt had an idea why, but he'd let his brother calm down before asking anything else.
Matt's mind was full of questions and assumptions. Your account was deleted and Matt noticed it, he went back to read more but now he couldn't. It made him even more sure Nick talked to you and he was so curious to know if Nick was pissed because you thought those things before, if it was because you still think like that, or something else entirely.
But the next day, you and Nick were fine again. He went to your apartment and left Matt wondering when he'd get any answers, his anxiety to know more was almost making him do something stupid like calling you. He didn't need to, though, Nick's text popped up at the same time Matt was about to take his desperate action.
Nick: She denied but I'm pretty sure she's still a matt girlie
Matt's pov
So what now? What the fuck do I do with this information? I'm not going to confront her about it, I shouldn't even bring this up. I shouldn't even be thinking about it. If she denied it, then maybe she doesn't feel like that anymore and Nick's just being insane, but for some strange reason I kind of want Nick to be right about it.
I put my phone down, deciding to play Fortnite and forget all about this stupid situation for a while.
3rd person
Meanwhile...
-Are you kidding me, Nick? Why would you say that? -You ask, trying to get his phone and delete the text he just sent to his brother.
-What? It's true. -He laughs, slapping your arms away.
-He's gonna think I'm into him. -You throw your arms up, rolling your eyes and making a beeline to sit next to him on the couch.
-Girl. -He tilts his head to the side, giving you a knowing look.
-I'm not into him, Nick. -You're quick to reply.
-Yeah, you're right, you're not into Matt. -Nick smiles, turning his attention back to his phone. -You're just in love with him. -He continues, laughing when you slap his arm.
-You're crazy. -You shake your head, noticing that trying to argue with him wasn't going to change anything.
You cross your arms, reach for the remote and press play on a random show to distract yourself. Gladly Nick didn't insist on the subject and changed completely the mood by showing you cute videos of babies interacting with animals and Matt was long forgotten.
Unfortunately time passes and Nick needs to go home, which means Matt is going to pick him up at your apartment. You try to ignore this fact, but Nick is way too immersed in making you confess that you like his brother. That's why he made up an excuse and asked Matt to come upstairs.
Nick locked himself in the bathroom, and just a few seconds later you heard knocks on your door. You open it just to find Matt waiting on the other side, your cheeks blushing already.
-Hey. -Matt says, giving you a small smile.
-Hi. Nick's in the bathroom. -You step aside to let him in, trying to sound as natural as possible.
Matt nods, taking a seat on your couch while you lock the door. Obviously Nick did it on purpose, he wasn't going to come out of the bathroom so soon. You sit next to Matt, cross-legged, reaching for the water bottle on the coffee table.
-So... -He starts, adjusting himself and clearing his throat. -The tweets...? -He goes straight to it, making you almost choke.
-Matt, I'm really sorry. -You set the water bottle down, turning your head to look at him, but he interrupts you.
-Do you still think like that or you're over me already? -He playfully asks, with a smirk that makes your heart beat faster.
-I'm... -You start, but you have no idea what to say. A sigh leaves your lips and he notices the turmoil in your eyes.
-I don't mind them, in fact, I kinda liked to know you liked me that much. -Matt turns his body to face you, resting his arm on top of the couch, just behind your head.
You decided to take that as a joke so as not to embarrass yourself too much. Letting go of a breathly laugh you roll your eyes, playfully pushing him.
-Shut up, I was a fan, alright? It's not the same now, I wouldn't say those things about my friends. -You furrow your eyebrows, trying to convince him.
-Are you sure? Because I think you still like me. -He raises one hand in defense, leaning slightly closer.
-I do like you, as my dearest friend. -You tilt your head to the side with a playful smile.
Although you were still nervous, it was good to know he wasn't mad at you, and the way you could talk about it so easily was a relief.
He chuckles at your response, getting even closer to you and you swore you saw his eyes flicking to your lips for a second.
-Friend, huh? -He asks, in a lower teasing voice. -That's funny, Nick told me you're into me.
Your eyes widen slightly, not expecting him to bring this up. The mask you built to hide your true feelings about this was fading away and just like that it was like he could see all your deepest secrets through your eyes.
-Nick has no clue what he's talking about. -You reply, watching nervously as he leans closer and closer to you.
-He's normally right about things, though. -Matt shrugs, tilting his head slightly like he was mocking you.
-Not this.
You two stare at each other for a second. It seemed like years were passing by, the time stopping just so you could look at him, his eyes so attentively searching for any hints of what you were thinking, his cheeks slightly pink and his lips curled up in a smirk that made him look like he knew exactly what to say, like he knew everything about you already.
-Well, that sucks, I was hoping you'd like me back.
His words echoed in your mind. Like him back? You wondered if he was still joking or if he meant it. He slowly starts to lean backward, making you even more confused.
-You like me? -You ask, confused, but sounding desperate to hear his response, to hear his assurance.
-I thought Nick told you that. -He chuckles, using his hand that was on top of the couch to brush a strand of your hair behind your ear.
-I thought he was lying. -You basically whisper, unsure of how things are going to be now.
Matt looks at you with a soft smile, caressing your cheek and pulling you so close that your noses are touching. Your breathing hitches and he notices it immediately, rubbing his thumb against your skin gently.
-He wasn't. -His voice is low but firm, wanting you to believe him.
A smile grows on your face, the situation making you giddy. It was so unreal, yet so right. He lifts your head slightly so you are looking into his eyes.
-Can I kiss you now? -He asks, and although he sounded calm, his eyes showed a certain kind of desperation.
When you nod, he quickly presses his lips against yours, cupping your cheeks as if you were going to disappear at any second. He was trying so hard to keep it slow and soft, but he waited a long time to do this. Before he even knew about the tweets, you passed through his mind a lot more than he wanted to, but knowing he had a chance he knew he had to take it.
His lips moved precisely and desperately against yours, one of his hands sliding slowly to your waist, squeezing it lightly and taking your small gasp as an opportunity to slide his tongue in and brush it against yours. It was so perfect and you two were so caught up in the kiss that neither of you heard the bathroom door open.
Matt was about to lay you down on the couch when he heard a scream. You and Matt quickly pull away from each other, turning your heads to the sound.
-I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. -Nick yells in a singing voice.
You laugh timidly, your cheeks burning and turning extremely red, and you turn your head to the opposite side to hide it. In the meanwhile, Matt rolls his eyes, grabbing a cushion and throwing it harshly at his brother.
-Fucking idiot. -Matt sighs, annoyed, ignoring his brother's laugh and little dance.
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𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔 ✍︎
➪ @riowritesitall @mattsfavbigtitties @sturniolosarethebest @hyacinthst @flow3rsturns13 @sturncakez @watercolorskyy @delooshunalhoe @sarosfilms @blahbel668 @sturniyolo69 @sturniolosl0t @sturnsxbitvh @colbsposts00 @fallingforfalll2 @stvrnmc @starnoirr @katie-tibo @sturnioloblues @monroesturnns @mattnchrisworld @shaquilles-0atmeal @fratbrochrisgf @dayzeandhaze @sharkcat1928 @phimstarz @h3arts4harry @s1ut4chris @star-yawnznn @asherrisrandom @pip4444chris @jupiter1700
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not-poignant · 2 days
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so earlier this year a psychologist i'd never met before gave me an autism assessment, diagnosed me with level 2 autism (talking at length about how the levels are mostly just useful for accessing government support) and then strongly advised me to access a national disability insurance scheme (known as NDIS) in australia.
she sent me a 20 page document, detailing all the ways i needed support, and i kind of sat back and cried a little, because something she said really stuck with me, which was basically: 'pia, you would always have been diagnosed with ASD at any age, you were never 'atypical' in presentation, people knew before you were verbal and then went out of their way to make sure you never had the chance to get diagnosed, in case it reflected poorly on them, due to their own stigma.'
it's true. my dad was diagnosed with autism and hid it from me. from all of us. he was the most strongly opposed to any behaviour in me that was not neurotypical, or his version of it, which frankly was still pretty fucking autistic. i lived with his abuse until he left us.
but i look back and think, i should've had an education assistant in school and at university. i should've had people around me helping me all along, if i wanted as much access to equality as most neurotypical people have. and now in early october, i'll be meeting with a support service and we'll start talking about the support staff i'll likely need for the rest of my life.
a lifetime of chronic illness and constant burnout (both from illness and from autistic burnout) was recontextualised. a lot of things about the way i live my life made sense.
but it's scary to have these sorts of meetings when you've spent your entire life being threatened with severe consequences if you behave certain ways, or ask for help.
i write the stories i write for rather obvious reasons, basically, and life has been unafraid of making 2024 a rather challenging year.
not just for me, i know, but for many of us.
i'm wishing you all some comfort and kindness, and hoping i can find a bit more myself, in the next few months.
shit's been hard lol
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stormyelliotwritez · 3 days
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walk with me…
ftm reader who has been in love with logan for years but he thinks logan is straight and also logan like wont stop being in love with jean and is absolutely OBLIVIOUS that r likes him.. (literally all the other x men know) and honestly this can be like super angsty or just silly idc whatever the vibe u best think works
im gonna somehow go with mostly angst coz thats my fav so here goes
tw for gender dysphoria related to wanting to fit logan’s so called type
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BUT HE’S STRAIGHT?
Logan was staring at Jean again. This was like the fifth time just this staff meeting. You weren’t sure how much longer you could take this. Maybe Charles would let you go lay down if you faked a fever but maybe he’d do the whole psychic thing and realize you were fine.
You sat through the rest of the meeting and then left quickly, feeling like a loser. It’s been years and he still hasn’t noticed you. He’s always staring at Jean who’s literally been in love with Scott since they met. Why won’t he stare at you? How the fuck is he straight? But alas, he is.
You walked to your room, tugging at your shirt and wishing it would fit better. Maybe he’d have noticed you if you weren’t a boy, if you’d stayed what you’d been born as. Maybe if you were still her, he’d think you were cute. Maybe he’d look at you how he looked at Jean.
You slammed your door shut and clambered onto your bed, curling up into a ball. You stayed there, just thinking, until eventually you fell asleep.
In the morning, you got up and after showering and getting dressed, you threw on the jacket you’d stolen from Logan a few months ago, the one with the school’s logo. Maybe he wouldn’t notice. It’s not like he ever noticed you.
You went about your day, bumping into Scott who made a faux growl sound like Logan’s to tease you and then bumping into Hank who sniffed your jacket and then applauded you on managing to steal from Logan. Later in the day, you ran head first into Storm, when you were trying to avoid Logan, and she glanced at him and then meowed at you teasingly. You’d swear on someone’s grave that the only person who didn’t know about your years old crush was the man himself, Logan.
You managed to avoid Logan all day until… dinner. He was sitting opposite the spot you always sat in. He was sitting there. Why was he sitting there was a question you couldn’t answer. You tugged at your jumper while holding your plate with one hand and you walked over to him.
“Logan,” you said with a nod.
“Bub,” he said back before looking you over.
He didn’t say anything about the jacket. He just sat there and ate his dinner and then stood up. He walked around to your side and leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Nice jacket, bub.”
He then walked off, just like that.
What the fuck? What the actual fuck? He didn’t know though. He would know about your ridiculous crush if he was listening to your heartbeat right now. Oh my god, so he knew you’d stolen it but he couldn’t put the damn pieces together?
You finished your dinner and walked off. You were halfway to your room when someone grabbed your hand and pulled you into an empty classroom. The door was slammed and you were disoriented in the dark.
“You like me, bub?”
That was Logan’s voice. Wait, he knew? How? But…
“Come on, I ain’t got all day,” he said abruptly.
You nodded. You were quite sure he could see in the dark and the scoff he made seemed to say so. How could you have been so stupid? He was probably going to hate you now. He was straight. He’d always been straight and in love with Jean. He was oblivious. He’d always been oblivious. He could never like you. You weren’t a girl, no matter how hard you wanted to still be one so he’d like you. Your heart was racing and soon enough, you were hyperventilating.
His hands were on your shoulders and you were being pulled into a hug, a hug that smelt of wood and fuel. He was hugging you?
“It’s okay, I got you, bub,” he placed a light kiss on your forehead, “I swing both ways, you know.”
You’d always hated that he was still taller than you, one of the downsides of not getting on T until your 20’s and- wait, what? He swings both ways?
“You-you do?” You said once your breathing had slowed.
He nodded. You couldn’t see it but you could feel it. He could like you… as you, as a man? You didn’t have to be someone else? You could just be you.
“Yep, now let’s go. I think there’s two beers calling our names in the teacher’s lounge,” he said before opening the door and pulling you out of the classroom. “Jean mentioned your little crush and now I gotta hear all about how you’ve been pining for me for years.”
Curse you, Jean, but thanks, was all you could think as you just nodded and walked with him to the teachers lounge.
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writingwithciara · 3 days
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still safe with me -matt sturniolo-
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summary: all matt wants to do is protect his girlfriend, even if it means fighting someone twice his size.
word count: 1.7k
pairing: matt sturniolo x reader
notes: wasn’t planning on writing a part 2 but @sarosfilms came up with an idea of how i could continue it. hope it’s good 😊 w: blood, david, language
y/n had been staying with the triplets for 3 months and every moment spent under their roof was like heaven to her. all 3 of them treated her well and did anything she asked. not much had changed.
she was still sleeping in matt's room, but he was staying in their with her. it started after the first month. after the first night, and the kisses, they were both scared to take their new relationship further so they agreed to stay friends.
but it was killing matt to stay away. all he wanted to do was hold her and keep her safe.
so, when the first month was over, matt walked into his room as y/n was getting to bed. he spilled everything out to her and she admitted she felt the same. they just wanted to hide it from the fans.
and they failed tremendously.
fans were onto them right off the bat. it didn't help that they were looking at each other way more than normal and chris kept cutting himself off more in their videos, almost revealing the secret.
so when more than a few fans commented on the looks they'd give each other, they decided to go public with their relationship.
which was good, at first.
it was good until david saw the hard launch of the relationship. he had known y/n was close to chris but she always told david not to worry about him. turns out, he believed he was supposed to be worried about matt the whole time instead.
david was friends with people who knew the triplets and nobody said a bad thing about any of them. but he hated matt and needed to know where he could find the guy. so he contacted one of their mutual friends. not knowing what was going on, the friend gave david the address.
"oh. this is going to be fun." david smirked and got in his car. he was a man on a mission.
at the triplets house, chris and nick were waiting for y/n and matt to get back from getting groceries since they were the responsible ones.
matt parked in their driveway and looked at y/n. "next time, we're bringing those idiots and they can go in to do all the shopping." he looked over the list chris gave them before they left. "some of these items are ridiculous."
"i know. but those were chris' additions to the list." y/n got out and opened the trunk. "also, do you really want to wait for chris to be responsible enough to shop for himself?"
"fair point." matt walked around and grabbed a few bags from the trunk. y/n grabbed the remaining 2 bags, that weighed next to nothing, and gave matt a look. "what?"
"these bags are so heavy, matthew."
"ever the dramatic one." he chuckled and looked at his girlfriend. "you got it?"
"yes matt. i'm just gonna grab my phone from the front seat and i'll meet you inside in a few minutes."
"okay." he kissed her head and carried the bulk of the groceries into the house.
y/n walked to the passenger door and set the bags on the ground. she opened the door and grabbed her phone. when she shut the door and turned around, she dropped the bags at her feet. "d-david? what are you.....how did you find me?"
"very carefully. and believe me. you were not easy to find."
back inside the house, nick was helping matt put everything away when chris came upstairs.
"you guys rock. you got everything i asked for."
"yeah. and it was a ridiculous endeavor. next time, i'll take you and you can shop yourself." matt smiled and tossed chris the weird snacks he requested.
"where's y/n? i want to get her to try these gummies."
"she wasn't too far behind me. should be in already." matt was starting to think the worst. "i'm gonna go check on her." he walked to the front door and opened it.
david had y/n trapped against the car and he looked like he was yelling at her. or at the very least, raising his voice when he shouldn't have.
"hey, get away from her!" matt shouted from the porch and raced over to the car. david backed away from y/n and faced matt with a smug look on his face.
"well, look at this. you always did need saving. but this kid doesn't even look like he could win any fight at all."
"that's where you're wrong, buddy." matt stepped closer. he was dead set on going toe-to-toe with david, who was twice his size. y/n knew what david was capable of so she grabbed matt's arm, causing him to look at her.
"matt, please don't." she pleaded but matt looked back at david. "he's gonna destroy you."
"so? rather him do it to me than to you again." matt slowly moved her behind him and stepped as close to david as he could. he had to look up to make eye contact but that didn't bother him. he just wanted to protect y/n.
"is that really what she told you? is there anything that bitch is honest about?"
"excuse me?" matt grew angrier the longer david stood there. "if you don't get off my property in two seconds, i'm gonna-"
"you're gonna what? kick my ass? yeah i'd love to see you try."
"my pleasure." matt rushed forward and his right fist collided with david's cheek. it left a mark but david barely even staggered. his eyes widened in anger as he threw matt to the ground and landed punch after punch to his body.
"matt!"
"did you hear that?" chris asked nick as he shut the fridge. "should we go see what's going on?"
"obviously." nick was already halfway out the door when chris finished asking the question. he stopped on the porch. "chris, call the cops. quick!"
"why? what's going on?" chris peaked over his shoulder and saw david. "oh shit." he quickly called the cops and told the operator what was going on before following nick out to where y/n stood.
nick was trying to break up the fight while y/n was just frozen in her spot. chris pulled her into a hug and made sure she couldn't see what was going on.
even though matt had somehow flipped david onto the ground, it was clear he was getting weak. the longer he hit david, the worse it was getting for him. there was no true winner to the fight.
the only thing that got them apart was when the cops pulled into the driveway.
for y/n, everything was a blur of red and blue. chris had her turned away from the chaos and she was focusing on the reflection of the lights in his eyes.
as the cops hauled david away after getting everyone's statements, nick helped matt inside carefully. chris looked at y/n and rubbed her arms.
"are you okay? he didn't hurt you, did he?"
"no. i'm fine." y/n looked at chris and sighed. she looked around the front yard and began to panic. "what happened? where's matt?"
"he's inside. would you like me to take you to him?" chris didn't wait for a response. he already knew what she would want. he escorted her inside and to matt's bathroom.
when they saw each other, matt gently pushed nick aside and pulled y/n as close as he possibly could.
"i am so sorry for leaving you out there."
"matt, don't apologize. i'm fine." she leaned back to examine his face. "you look like shit. no offense."
"you're good." matt smiled and looked at y/n. "i would do it all again if it guaranteed your safety."
"i love you." y/n rubbed matt's cheek gently and kissed him. it was the first time either of them had used the 'l' word with each other and even though the night was chaotic, the moment felt right. y/n pulled away first and looked deep into matt's eyes. "i'm sorry. i just really wanted to get that out there."
"don't apologize. i love you too." matt smiled widely.
chris and nick watched as their brother finally realized he really did love the girl standing in front of him. the longer he smiled at her, the more pain he felt.
"we should get you cleaned up." y/n grabbed his hand and led him to the bathroom. "there's so much blood."
"i know. but some of it is david's & i do not regret it one bit."
"i know, matt. and i appreciate you protecting me. but he could've killed you, you know?"
"i'm completely aware of what could've happened but, again, i do not regret it. when it comes to you, i'm always going to protect you, even if you can defend yourself. you're my girl and all i want to do is keep you safe."
"i am safe." y/n paused her sentence and reached for the bandages. she then slowly began to wrap his hand. as she did so, she looked into his eyes. "with you."
"you're always safe with me." matt watched intently as y/n wrapped his knuckles up gently.
"i know." she held his hand and smiled. "i can't believe it's only been two months but it's felt like a lifetime."
"when you're with the right person, the smallest amount of time can feel incredibly longer."
"i love you matt. i really do." she sighed. "and i don't think i've ever meant those words more than i do right now."
"i feel the same way, y/n. and i think i've loved you in another lifetime as well."
"wow. and to think i almost ended up with chris." y/n smiled.
"wait, what?!" chris had heard her and was running to the bathroom to join matt in exclamation. the two boys stared at each other for a second before y/n just giggled.
"man, you guys are so easy to trick." she smiled and kissed matt again. something she would absolutely never get tired of doing.
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andbreakmynose · 3 days
Text
every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own
part 1
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your first date with the hot single dad you may or may not work for...
(the car! alex, single dad! alex)
WARNINGS: SMUT, feelings, age gap (reader is mid 20s), p-in-v (protected), oral (f receiving)
WORD COUNT: 5k
You hadn’t been this giddy over a man since Aiden Grant called you pretty on an Instagram post when you were 12, although you also hadn’t been with anyone like Alex fucking Turner.
Barely anyone knew you even worked for Alex; he didn’t want them to for his own privacy. You understood that, he was a private person and especially so when it came to his child. You didn’t have a problem with telling acquaintances that you worked for a rich man and not saying anything else, they usually understood. It’s never been a problem until now.
When you came home after that fateful night all giggly and smiling your roommate had more than a few questions. The alcohol in your system got you dangerously close to spilling but you came up with some lie last minute, you couldn’t remember what you said in that drunken haze but apparently it was enough to get Claire off your case.
You wanted to tell her though, you wanted to tell the world and you couldn’t. It was eating you alive that you couldn’t tell anyone that you had kissed - no, fucked - Alex Turner. Not in a bragging way, in the way that you wanted someone to tell you to calm down and slap some sense into you. You wanted to be able to ask someone for advice, to know that you weren’t making some grave mistake. It was times like these you wished that you took that advertisement in the mail for three months of free therapy.
Alex, in a sort of way, became that person. He was too busy to really talk the rest of the week, but his gentle gestures like kissing you before you left gave you enough reassurance to make it through the night without freaking out.
He felt the same way, there was this underlying fear in his bones that he really had done something terrible. It’s not that he thought he was taking advantage of you, no you’re a grown adult. But you’re the grown adult he has employed, he can’t lose that. If he worked for a company this would’ve been an HR violation. That was a bad feeling.
Waiting for Friday would be unbearable if you weren’t so damn busy. Toddlers don’t have time to accommodate for a complicated love life and it seemed that neither did Alex’s schedule. He wanted you to know that he cared and he was genuinely looking forward to having an actual date with you, but it seemed that every time he tried to start a conversation his daughter would start crying or his phone would start ringing.
It isn't until Wednesday that he actually gets you alone. He has enough time to slip home and grab lunch, and it's late enough that Ayla is already sound asleep for her nap. When he sees you sitting alone on the sofa, his heart swells. There's already something domestic about the scene: you, in his house, comfortable on his furniture. No signs of work, just relaxation—and he likes that.
“Hey. Had a few minutes to sneak out.” He sneaks into the living room, startling you slightly before you smile warmly. You can’t be upset with him, not even for a second—his presence is just too warm.
“There’s some leftover mac and cheese on the stovetop if you want it. Not exactly fine dining, but it was pretty good.” Your words make him laugh, and that feels good. He has a nice laugh, and you feel a sense of pride knowing you made it happen.
“I’ll pack some and take it back to the studio. Don’t really have much time,” he says, glancing down at his watch—probably more expensive than your car. “But I did want to talk. Y’know, about Friday.”
You nod and sit up properly, straightening your back so you don’t look lazy. He notices but doesn’t comment; it’s cute to him that you’re still trying to impress him when he already finds you so special.
“So I’ve been thinking... and talking...” He leans against the doorway, smiling. “I made a reservation at that restaurant for 6:30, and I’ve already talked to Matt. He’s more than happy to watch Ayla for the night. You know how excited she’ll be to see them.” He beams at his own productivity, clearly pleased with how he’s going above and beyond for you.
The mention of Matt confuses you. You’ve been nervous about even mentioning the situation to your sister, and yet Alex already told Matt? It makes sense, you guess—Matt understands celebrity life and knows how to keep secrets. He seems decent enough from the few times you’ve met him, but the idea still makes you feel something strange.
“Matt knows about... us?” you ask, hesitating slightly. You don’t want to seem upset—you’re not upset—but you do want clarification.
Alex picks up on your nerves instantly. It’s obvious in the way your fingers dig into your knee and your teeth worry at your lip. He shakes his head, chuckling. “Don’t worry about that. I told him an old friend is coming to town for drinks and that you weren’t available anyway.”
Damn Alex and his talent for easing your nerves. You exhale the deepest breath you’ve taken in a while. It’s all good. “Ah, okay. I was just wondering if you were telling the whole world about us,” you joke, knowing he isn’t. You needed to say something to lighten the mood, more for yourself than for him.
He laughs at your joke, and he doesn’t even need to say no—you already know he wouldn’t want to jinx things yet. He’s about to speak again when his watch buzzes, prompting a disappointed sigh. He doesn’t want to leave, he’d rather spend all day staring into your wide, pretty eyes.
“I’m excited for tomorrow, yeah? We’ll drop her off at 6:00 and then head out. I really am excited. You don’t even know.” He sounds slightly nervous, and it’s cute to see that you can make him feel that way. You don’t know what you did to deserve it.
"I’m excited too.” Your voice is warm, matching the smile on your face. You’re not entirely sure what to say, but you know just how excited you are to have something with him. His expression softens as he lifts himself from the doorframe.
“I’ll see you later, darling. Take care.” And with that, he’s gone, but you can’t blame him—you know how busy he always is. The word "darling" bounces around in your head, a reminder that this isn’t a dream. He really does like you.
Thursday night is spent stressing over what to wear. You know Alex will show up in his usual suit—one of his quirks that drives you wild—but you don’t want to overdo it. It’s just dinner, but your work clothes won’t cut it. You certainly can’t show up in sweats to a date with Alex Turner.
You settle on a dress you haven’t worn since your ex-classmates wedding to her now ex-husband. It’s not the nicest, but it will do. You have a sneaking suspicion that Alex would like you in a trash bag anyway. You roll the dress up and tuck it in your bag—no way you’re wearing it to work where it’d end up covered in marker and spit.
Friday’s anxiety convinces you that you’re doing your job horribly. You must have forgotten something or messed up because your mind is all Alex, Alex, Alex, like he’s a parasite who’s crawled into your brain.
Knowing he’ll be home around 5:30, you start getting ready at exactly 5:15. You make sure to look presentable, curling your hair and applying a layer of concealer. He’s seen you at your worst—covered in child vomit—but you still want him to see you at your best.
Right on time, he unlocks the front door, and Ayla immediately bounds over to him. He laughs, picking her up and setting her on his hip before his eyes sweep over you. You look good—you always look good—but this time, it’s something else.
He clears his throat, giving a small smile. “You look that good to me?” You don’t want to blush, but you’re sure your face is bright red. Of course, you dressed up for him.
“Nah. I dressed up to get spit on,” you joke, stepping forward and ruffling Ayla’s hair just like Alex did. He smiles at the closeness, free from the stresses of the day and surrounded by the people he cares about the most. It’s a good feeling.
He chuckles at your words, raising his eyebrows and making a quizzical face at his daughter as if she’s hiding something. She just babbles, reaching out to pull his sunglasses off and throw them on the floor. Alex shakes his head, pretending to care. You laugh, silently thanking her for letting you see Alex’s eyes again. He really does have the nicest eyes.
“Those were my nice pair, you rascal.” You’ve never heard him upset and this is no exception, even when he’s pretending to be upset he still has so much love in his voice. “Y’know I was gonna surprise ya by taking you to Uncle Matt’s for the night but it seems like you’re being a little punk tonight.” The girl immediately cries out and shakes her head, protesting just the thought of not going to Matt’s.
“Aw alright, you’re too darn cute to deny. Plus I have to do things anyways tonight.” This makes Ayla clap excitedly and make small noises, Alex giving her a smile before looking up with a wink. You secretly knew that the plans he had tonight consisted of you, and you wink right back at him. “You pack her night bag?” He asks you, it was the one thing he asked in the morning so of course you did it. You were always 10 steps ahead and he loved that.
“Mhm!” You nod and gesture to the pony-printed bag behind you. It was a gift you had gotten her for Valentine’s day earlier this year. Alex nods and walks over, daughter still in hand, to grab the bag and swing it over his shoulder. He’s signaling that it’s time to go.
You follow after him silently into his black sports car, taking Ayla from him to help buckle her into her carseat. You hop in the passenger's side and he sets the radio to the kid’s channel. Alex looks back at his daughter with a wide grin, even if he doesn’t particularly tolerate these songs he knows that it makes her happy. He starts to sing along to some song about waffles, god it’s awful but somehow his crooning makes it sound like a 1950s love song. You smile at the scene while Alex pulls out of the driveway.
That’s how the whole drive goes, it’s only about 15 minutes but all 15 of them are spent with Alex singing his heart out just to please his kid. “Is this on the new album?” You remark with a teasing grin at one song about silly snakes, Alex just laughs and reaches out to gently swat your arm.
That moment confirmed to you that your relationship with Alex had changed, not a single other person you worked with would have touched you. And Alex wasn’t just touching you sexually but he was touching you in a warm, familial way. For a second it felt just like you were old lovers and your kid, not what you really were.
It’s an easy handoff to Matt, Ayla is excited to see everyone and all you really have to do is hand off the night bag, Alex trusts them enough that he doesn’t even consider worrying for the night. When he’s sure the door is shut he takes your hand in his, leading you back to the car. You’ve come to love his hands; they were gentle and warm, yet also calloused from years of experience. They were the most Alex Turner hands you could possibly think of.
He starts the car again, making sure to shift the stereo to his personal mix of 2000s garage rock and 1960s french jazz. It was such an eclectic combination but it told you everything you needed to know about him, you felt warm as he hummed along to the words you didn’t really understand.
The restaurant was about a 30 minute drive, it was mostly silent besides the few times Alex pointed out things in the city. He showed you which venues he had played and which stores he had shopped in, he made sure to recommend the sweaters at some luxury store that you couldn’t pronounce the name of. When you told him you loved his sweaters he made a mental note to get one for you for the holidays, or to lend you one of his own.
Like he said, the restaurant is formal but cozy. It reminds you of something from Lady and the Tramp, or maybe Ayla had just made you watch that movie on repeat in the past week. He hands the keys off to the valet worker and grabs at your hand again, leading you inside.
“Turner, party of 2,” he says to the hostess with a smooth voice, looking over at you to remind you that you’re his party, his date. The hostess grabs two menus and leads you to a secluded booth in the corner. There’s a candle and roses on the table, which you didn’t notice at any others. Maybe he had done that special just for you.
He orders the two of you a glass of wine and a basket of bread, pointing out his favorite items on the menu. You decide on some fancy seafood pasta, Alex mumbling that it was a good choice.
This is your first time ever alone with Alex for a prolonged period, you’re not quite sure what to expect. He starts the conversation off easily, asking about your day and telling you about his. The endless flow of drinks and food (everytime you ask to order something he says yes - reassuring you that he couldn't care less about the price) makes it all really easy. There’s just chemistry between you and Alex.
He tells you about touring and you tell him about your childhood dog, he tells you what it’s like to be famous and you tell him about your experience in college. There’s such a difference in lifestyles but it doesn’t seem to matter at this moment, he’s completely enthralled by your life. It almost feels like you’re sharing similar experiences, he understands everything you say and is able to respond in such a damn charming way.
The food is unreasonably good, like maybe in the top five you’ve ever had. The flavors are rich and you wonder for a second how you’ll go back to fast food and microwaved dinners after this. At some point Alex decides he wants a bite from your plate so he puts his fork in it, there’s an awkward clash of arms that has you both giggling.
“You want some of mine? It’s only fair,” he asks you, a small amount of pasta sauce stuck under his bottom lip. You want to reach out and fix it but you’re too preoccupied with his words. You give a nod and he picks up his fork, grabbing a piece of chicken and bringing it to your lips. You were totally fine with getting your own bite but he had different plans, and the scene made you feel more like you were in Lady and the Tramp.
His food was also too damn good and you let out a satisfied groan, him grinning and reaching out to clean your lip. You figure since he did it you can do it too, so you take your thumb and gently wipe down his lip. It’s a quiet sort of encounter but it’s full of so much tension and unspoken words, god why was pasta sauce turning you on?
He finally removes his hand from your face and wraps his arm around you, pulling you to his side. You can tell at that moment that you’ve crossed a bridge and probably won’t be able to keep your hands off each other anymore, it’s good that there isn’t that much food left.
He keeps his arm tight against you as you eat, like he’s afraid you’ll run on him. The food doesn’t take too long to finish, at least on your behalf. It’s so good that you can’t stop filling your mouth. And when you’re done and Alex has a bit left it’s a treat that you get to watch him eat for a second, his mouth alternates between telling stories and chewing, his perfect lips always moving.
The waiter asks if you want dessert but you two were both too full, and Alex gives you a look that says he has dessert prepared for later. It’s a silent promise that reminds you of what happened last time we were together and has your heart beating faster in anticipation.
He pays the bill (you don’t even bother to look at how many figures are on there) and then takes you back to his car. His hand never leaves your back, sometimes drifting down to the curves of your ass. The valet man hands him his keys back, he tips heavily, and you’re heading back to his place. Nervous anticipation fills both of your throats.
“That was maybe the best food I’ve ever had.” You tell him as you take a seat in his car, buckling your seatbelt and smiling at him.
He nods and hums, following your actions and expression, “Glad you think so. I’m pretty fond of it myself.” He starts the car and his music begins to play again, you had heard this song before. Maybe because of him. “I really like that dress on you sweetheart, so damn gorgeous.” He breaks the silence after a minute, voice husky and smirk on his face. He did mean the sexual connotations behind his words but he also just really liked the dress, you were a gorgeous girl and seeing you dolled up for him was lovely.
“Aw thanks.” You reply, feeling your face heat up a bit. You still weren’t quite used to his compliments, he shouldn’t be saying you looked gorgeous when he looked like a damn god. He drives in silence for a second, taking occasional glances over at you with that smirk on his face.
“I have a confession to make...” he gives you a devilish grin, a small laugh trying not to escape him, “I get really touchy feely when I’m a bit drunk. But emphasis on the touchy part.” And then he laughs, he really can’t hold it in and neither can you. He has you laughing while simultaneously attempting to not pay attention to the burn between your thighs.
He smiles back at you, he loves your laugh, and then turns the stereo up a bit. He wants to get you back home and fast, this week of waiting for you has just driven him crazy. You’re able to get comfortable and let the music distract your busy mind, your eyes stay peeled to the window so you don’t notice how his hand is flexing against the steering wheel.
He leads you to the kitchen when you get home, the same place this all began. He opens the wine cabinet and starts to look, but you interrupt, “I shouldn’t drink anymore, I don’t want to be hungover at work tomorrow.” He nods and lets out a small sigh, that’s right. You were his daughter’s damn babysitter, not a girl he brought home from the bar. He has to repeat this thought as your cleavage is right in his face. “Yeah, that’s fine...”
Another second of silence fills the room, you know what he’s thinking about but is too shy to say. It’s a bit endearing how he doesn’t want to come across as too forward. “Alex... if you want to fuck me you can just say it. I can see you staring down my tits.”
He’s halfway through a drink of wine when you say this and he ends up coughing it up, he didn’t expect you to say anything. Good, maybe he wasn’t the only one being so sexually desperate here. “Right... well I think I’d like that.” He regrets saying that instantly, it sounds so stupid. He wants to fuck you with ever fiber of his being and he’s saying he “thinks” he’d like that. God he feels like an idiot.
He was still shy, and to be honest so were you. It had been a while and the first times with anyone were always scary. But you still nodded at his words and tilted your head towards his bedroom, if there was anytime nerves would be the lowest it would be now when you were both a bit tipsy.
Alex swallows and takes the lead, grabbing your hand and leading you to his bedroom. You had been there before to grab things for the kid before but this felt different, you weren’t there for your job. You were in his room and you were about to have sex with him.
Before you can finish looking around he grabs you by the waist and captures your lips in a searing kiss, too much pent up desire to wait for any longer. You’re caught off guard but still end up moaning into the kiss, Alex can only think about how he wants to hear more of those moans. Something must’ve taken hold of him because he gets the confidence to push you towards the bed, starting to work at the zipper with his long fingers.
He gets the zipper all the way down and you can barely register it before your dress is on the floor, leaving you in your underwear set. It wasn’t really the nicest but it still had Alex’s breath hitching. “Fucking gorgeous body. You know I’d return the favor from last time but I think if I’m not inside you soon I might perish and die.”Always one for the dramatics.
You give a small giggle at his words, reaching your hand out to gently palm his prominent bulge through his trousers, he hisses at just the littlest bit of contact. There’s a tangle of limbs as you try to get his clothes off and he tries to get your lingerie off, it’s awkward and messy and you almost feel like a high schooler again. Everything about Alex makes you feel like a high schooler again.
After you’re both completely undressed he joins you on the bed, pushing you back and settling on his knees. He starts to gently part your legs to look at your soaked cunt, running his middle and pointer fingers through the folds to collect your wetness. “Your cunt is pretty too, you know that? I think I’ve changed my mind, I need to taste you.”
Before you can even respond (which you probably wouldn’t have been able to respond with words anyways) his lips are attached to your sex. You let out a loud whine and attach your hand into his hair, pushing him deeper. He brings his mouth up slightly higher and his nose budges at your clit, that perfect fucking nose. It’s only been a minute and he already has you shaking and letting out endless streams of whines. He’s reveling in your taste, he thinks he could survive purely on the taste of your juices.
He develops a rhythm of licking at you, sucking at your clit, and peppering kisses along the sensitive folds. It’s intoxicating and you’re sure the words you’re saying don’t make sense, the only ones you can recognize coming out of your mouth are “Alex” and “Fuck.” He’s obsessed with your cunt but at the same time he’s hard in a way that’s making him uncomfortable, so he pulls his lips away much to your whining protest.
“Shh.. shh... sorry sweetheart. I just need to fuck you now,” he says in a voice smoother than butter. As he shifts to having his hips in between your legs your eyes meet the throbbing member in front of you. The head is red and you can see the pulsing. Yeah, it makes sense he needed to fuck you. He takes his time to line his head up with your folds, he needs that first thrust to be perfect as silly as it sounded.
After he decides on his placement he places his hands on your shoulders and starts to push himself in. It’s a stretch for you but in the best way, you hadn’t been filled by a cock in so long and now the most beautiful one was opening you up. Your tight caverns had Alex matching your groans, leaning down so he can kiss you again.
“So. Fucking. Perfect. And all mine.” He says in between kisses, starting to move his hips at a pace that has you both satisfied and begging for more. You’re his, you’re completely his. If there was any question about it before. You didn’t care that he was technically your employer anymore, at this second he was your lover and maybe the best lover you had ever had.
“Yes Alex, I’m yours. All yours,” you moan out, every thrust causing new goosebumps to arise on your arms. “Now fuck me harder, please.” You add on, causing him to laugh.
“Your wish is my command, sweetheart,” he says before picking up the pace. He starts to slam into you at a brutal pace, still littering your neck with kisses. If that wasn’t enough he starts to pinch and roll your nipples in his fingers, all the sensations making your eyes roll back. You knew your orgasm was soon, and Alex knew it too. You both wanted this too much to hold on for much longer.
Your moans start to become one constant stream of noises and his grunts start to become more guttural, the coil in your lower stomach was starting to build up and you just needed to push towards that release a bit more. He took note of this and brought his thumb from your nipple to your clit, circling it quickly like if he didn’t make you cum, he’d be executed. His own release was nearing and he could feel himself start to twitch inside of you.
“Can I cum fuck - inside?” He groans out, always the gentleman. He’s really damn turned on by the idea of cumming inside before but he’s seen what that can do before and doesn’t exactly want to deal with that again. You nod your head, you’re glad he asked but you’ve been on birth control since you were 15 for period cramps.
“On the pill!” You scream out. And it’s so embarrassing but that’s the last thing you’re able to say before the coil inside of you snaps and you’re cumming all over his cock, your walls squeezing him deliciously. He’s decided that making you cum is his new favorite thing in the world, the noises you make and the way your body is reacting drives him to his own release. With a final thrust and groan he’s leaning forward against you and emptying inside of you.
He cums a lot; you knew that from sucking him off, but now it was inside of you. And even when he pulled out, despite missing how he felt, you still felt pretty full. You were full of his remains; he likes that just as much as you. He spends a second to smile at your spent cunt leaking him before he snaps out of it.
"I'll, uh, I’ll get a towel, yeah?” He says, still catching his breath, before walking off to grab what he said. You miss him for the two minutes he’s gone, and when he returns, you feel like he’s just gotten back from war. He gently cleans your sex off and then puts the glass of water aside for you on the nightstand.
Collapsing onto the bed next to you, he pulls you into his side, placing a kiss on your temple. “That was perfect; I hope you let me do it again.” Of course you’d let him do it again; you’d let him fuck you right now if you weren’t kind of tired.
“You can fuck me whenever we both have the time; that’s my promise to you. And maybe we’ll go to that restaurant again? It was good!” He chuckles and nods, playfully ruffling your hair and placing another kiss on your head.
“I’ll take you wherever you want; you're mine now, and I mean it.” He pulls you against your side, and you know the truth to his words—you were entangled with him, whatever the implications were. You were his. And now you were about to sleep in his bed.
He wakes up before you; he knows he has to go pick up the kid from Matt's, and it’d be odd if you went too. He slips on a shirt and jeans for the day, more casual than he was used to, and lets his eyes roam over your sleeping form. Your nakedness was a reminder of everything you did that night, but your eyes closed, and the smile on your face was a reminder of the deeper meaning to it all. He couldn’t wait to explore that more.
He thought about you the entire drive to Matt's—not just how you felt under him but how you made him happy. He could’ve been embarrassed by how whipped he was this quick, but it was a long time coming. His mind drifts back to how pretty you were last New Year's when he had you take Ayla to the “family” party.
When he gets to Matt's, Ayla is beyond excited to see him, running up and pulling his leg into a hug. He hugs her back for a second and then gestures for her to walk to the car; he’s about to follow, but Matt stops him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Is there a reason you were holding hands with your babysitter last night, Alex?”
A/N: kinda hate this but i needed to get it out. title from jane eyre again <3 love dad alex
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aylacavebear · 2 days
Text
Soulmates? Yeah, right, pft. - Ch. 15
When you turn sixteen, and your soulmate's name doesn’t appear anywhere on your body that you can find, you figure you had to be the only person on the planet who didn’t have one. Most of the town shuns you, so you stick close to family. Your Aunt Ellen raised you after your parents died in a car crash when you were two, but what happens when the Winchesters return to town and buried secrets begin to come to light?
Pairing: Mechanic Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You
Word Count: 2615
Warnings: Angst, suspense, emotional situations, The Tension is Growing, Premonitions.
A/N: This is my non-Supernatural fic I'm attempting. Please let me know what you think, as I always love hearing from my readers.
----------------------------------------- Chapter 15
For a while, you just sat there, your emotions running completely rampant as your thoughts ran laps around your mind. They all knew something that you hadn’t been told. Whatever it was, it wasn’t in your parent's letters, and it was more than Dean had already told you, which you thought had been everything.
Even if you still weren’t convinced he was your soul mate, you had kept your distance from him, only keeping things to friendship. The thought of the whole soul mate thing made your mind snap back to how you’d ended up alone in this room and looked around for a mirror. Finding one hanging over the dresser, you walked over to it and moved your dress so you could see what had only been incoherent lines.
You felt a knot in your stomach as you looked at it. The only letter that had come in was the last one, an n. 
There are other names that end with the letter ‘n.’
You needed to write down every tidbit of information you had at the moment. Quickly scanning the room, you found a notepad and a pen on one of the nightstands. 
No mark at 16. Parents killed at 2. Wounded soul. Shunned by town. Winchesters showed up 3 months before my 25th birthday. Promotion at garage and became Dean’s boss. They joked about him not doing anything funny with me. Sam and Dean knew I didn’t get my mark. Have to fully heal to get my mark. Dean knew something when he met me, and so did the boys at the garage. I could talk to Dean, easily, honestly. He saw me at school. Lisa isn’t Dean’s soulmate. Bobby had us work together on Dean’s first day, and we became friends, quickly. Dean was always thinking of me. The adults knew about the marriage contract and never told me, and they knew my parents hid key documents. Bobby and John were thankful Dean and I hit it off so quickly and became friends.
The more you wrote out, the faster your heart began beating. Most of that had only happened within the first month of meeting the Winchesters. There was so much more that was there, and you needed to see how it all fit together, like the parts of a car. That was how your mind worked, slowly seeing the connections. You’d never wanted to hope to find your soulmate, even after what Dean had said.
My parents left me letters, telling me about the Vaughts. The Vaughts knew what would happen if I lost my parents. They knew about my lineage. They knew I would be an empath.
That last line made you stop and think further.
Wait. Why would that matter? What would be the purpose of making me marry Cole? Why is that important? What about an empath, don’t I know?
You pulled out your phone and began searching online for anything related to empaths and why they’d be important, other than in specific jobs that helped people. There were more things you probably should have written down, but with the questions plaguing your mind, you had to find answers.
Nearly an hour, perhaps longer, passed, and you were still attempting to find anything that would answer your questions. You’d made a few notes, but it was only tiny pieces. One interesting thing was that if an empath found their soulmate, they could hear each other’s thoughts, but there was no conclusive evidence on the distance that worked. That didn’t help your other questions when it came to the Vaught family.
Frustrated, you tossed your phone on the bed and looked back at the list you’d been making. Reluctantly, you picked up the pen and jotted down other things. 
Dean seemed to know what I was feeling even if I hid it. He was always there when I had a nightmare. He never pushed anything intimate. All he ever did was try to comfort me and be there for me. He said he knew I was his soulmate at 16. The Vaughts
At that moment, goosebumps ran down your entire body. The Vaughts knew he was your soulmate. Dean had explained what had happened with that woman, Lisa. Even in your parents' letters, they had told you what the Vaughts were capable of. Now you had new questions, on top of the ones before.
Why didn’t Dean get closer to you? What was holding him back? Why wouldn’t he want to help you heal by being intimately close? What did your twenty-fifth birthday have to do with it all, and why was that date so important? 
That’s when you remembered Sam had told you that the powers that be were keeping this sort of thing from making it to the regular news. You glanced at the closed door of that bedroom and sighed, setting the pen down on the notepad. Yeah, you could storm back down there and demand answers, but what would it accomplish? 
You reluctantly got up and went through your bag, finding some comfortable pajama pants and a tank top. After changing and brushing out your hair, you laid on your back on the bed. You wanted to be alone, but you wanted so badly to have Dean there holding you like he would when you typically felt like this. The fact that he hadn’t come, hurt a bit, but you told yourself he was just busy hanging out with those he hadn’t seen in a while. You’d been the one to storm off.
My life sucks.
The thought made you roll onto your side, pull one of the pillows out from under the covers, and cuddle up to it. Your mark burned again, but you ignored it, no matter how badly it stung. You didn’t want to deal with anything, feeling as overwhelmed as you did. There were far too many questions circling your mind and just as many emotions coursing through your body to let you focus on any one thing, let alone deal with any of them.
With a heavy sigh, you closed your eyes, exhausted in every sense of the word. Your body, mind, and soul needed rest. So, you let the heaviness in your eyes win, slowly closing them as your body relaxed into the mattress, letting sleep take you.
The sounds of hounds woke you sometime in the middle of the night or perhaps very early morning, pulling you from another nightmare. Your heart was pounding, and your breathing was ragged, but you forced yourself off the bed and to the window as the house seemed eerily quiet. The stillness outside on the grounds of Crowley’s property made you think the shadows were moving, watching you. A shiver ran down your body as you watched three large dogs dart across a section of lawn where a lamppost stood.
He’s here…
The thought scared you, and it was hard to breathe, as if something was pressing against your chest.
Dean…
Without thinking, you ran out of your room, needing to find him, more to reassure yourself that he was okay. Halfway down another hall, you stopped dead in your tracks as an image began forming in your mind. 
It was somewhere outside, on Crowley’s land, around his home. Four men in tactical gear were slowly making their way closer to the house, using the shadows to stay hidden. They almost reminded you of what a SWAT team looked like, guns and all. Now you saw dogs, big, black, fierce dogs, more than a dozen of them, moving in packs of three. They were hunting. They, too, were using the shadows to move, just as silently as the four men. Broken glass and a silent gunshot in one of the rooms of the house. The room was blurry, and hard to make out the details. Someone was sitting on the edge of the bed, and there was a dart on the person's neck, but you couldn’t make out enough details.
You shook your head a bit, pushing the images away. With the emotions swirling through your mind and body, you took a shaky breath, steadying your nerves. Something you had read online teased its way through your mind. 
Follow the thread.
For a moment, you closed your eyes, taking slow, deep breaths and letting them out just as slowly. You knew that in order to find it, you had to accept that Dean was your soul mate, which both terrified you and brought you a sense of peace. When you opened your eyes again, you turned to the direction you’d come from, feeling a strange pull.
The darkness in Crowley’s mansion wasn’t what brought the feelings of dread that seemed to seep into your nerves. It was the eerie silence, not even the dogs outside making a sound. The shadows seemed to dance or move of their own accord. You set your hand on the wall, letting it guide you through the darkness.
You tried to find that thread, but it eluded you. Some light came in through the large windows near the stairs that led down the main room. For a moment, you looked outside. The grounds were still, and that stillness felt out of place. A shiver ran down your spine as the hair on the back of your neck stood on end. It was like someone was watching you.
When you were able to pull your gaze from the window, you continued down the stairs, creeping quietly through the main entrance. Cautiously, you opened the dining area doors. You almost felt like a mouse thrown into a game of cat and mouse that you had no control over. Swallowing hard, you looked under the table. You let out a sigh of relief, having found nothing there. Finally managing a deep breath, you pushed yourself through the dining room and into the kitchen. 
The light wasn’t on, none of them were, and you hadn’t come across anyone, not even servants. For a moment, you thought you’d seen the flash of a light outside one of the kitchen windows. Slowly, you crept closer to it, cautiously glancing around. Your heart was pounding so loud you were sure it would give away your location. 
A shadow that moved in the darkness outside the window sent a wave of fear throughout your body. Slowly, your hand covered your mouth, and you began backing up just as slowly. Someone came up behind you when you reached the center of the kitchen, wrapping one arm around you and putting a hand over your mouth. Just as you were about to scream, he spoke.
“Shhh, it’s me, Sweetheart,” he whispered softly, slowly taking his hand from your mouth.
You swung around in his arms and wrapped yours over his shoulders. “I was so worried something had happened to you,” you whispered, keeping your voice down.
“I’m okay,” Dean quietly tried to reassure you, holding you close, while also keeping a watchful eye. “Come on, it’s not safe here.”
Dean quietly but quickly led you to what looked like a study. There were no windows here, but the entire staff, Crowley, and Benny were there. There were also a couple of other men, although you hadn’t met them before. Dean pulled you into his arms after he closed and locked the door, wanting to help calm your nerves.
“Good, you found her,” Crowley said, both relieved and pleased, but he wasn’t happy that Dean had gone looking for you.
Dean just shot him a glare but stayed quiet; his focus was only on you now. Benny stayed leaning against a nearby wall, his arms crossed, unhappy with the situation.
“What’s going on?” you finally asked in a whisper, not wanting to mention the images you’d seen from earlier.
“Nick isn’t one to follow the orders of anyone,” Crowley sighed. “It’s why I arranged to have the three of you brought here until the next court date. The FBI isn’t capable of keeping anyone safe from that family.” 
Slowly, you looked over at him but stayed in Dean’s arms. “You knew they’d come after me?” you asked, a little confused.
“Love, he’s not just after you. He needs leverage, to make you comply. Figured you would have realized that already.” Crowley stated as he shot Dean a knowing look, which you didn’t miss. “That whole family knows they only have so much time before you’re useless to them.”
That made your brow furrow in complete confusion. You pulled away from Dean, looking up at him, now needing answers. “What haven’t you told me?” you asked him bluntly, but also were terrified of the answer.
You saw the sadness flash across his eyes before he hid it, even if he couldn’t look at you. “If Cole marries you before your mark comes in, it won’t matter who your soulmate is, your mark will change to his name, because you’re an empath.” Dean finally confessed quietly.
The silence in the room was deafening, but your heart was pounding, and again, it felt like you could barely breathe. For several moments, all you could do was stand there in a state of shock. It was the final piece to the puzzle that made everything else make sense, and the thought of that terrified you. 
“How do I make my mark come in all the way?” you asked quietly, your voice shaky, and your nerves felt like they were all exposed and firing all at once.
Dean finally met your gaze, as it had never left him. There was pain and hurt in his eyes, but you also saw a hint of hope. You could see his hesitation like he wanted desperately to give you the answer, but something was holding him back.
“Bloody hell,” Crowley’s exasperated words broke the silence. “If you don’t tell her, I will.”
That made both you and Dean jump a little, but you never looked away from him, even when he shot Crowley another glare before looking at you again. He managed a deep breath, but it was shaky. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, the man who had been standing near Crowley, watching monitors, spoke up.
“The Hellhounds have done their job. I’ll inform the police and the FBI,” the man told Crowley, his British accent thick.
Crowley took an annoyed breath, “Thank you, Ketch. You may all return to your rooms. The situation has been handled.”
With a heavy heart, you went to the door first, unlocked it, and headed toward your room. The staff followed you out, Ketch bringing up the rear, but Dean and Benny stayed behind with Crowley. You rubbed the place where your mark was, your gaze on the floor as you slowly made your way back to your room.
Dean’s words seemed to play on repeat through your mind. At least now you understood why the powers that be had kept something like this under wraps. If it got out, there were far too many grim possibilities that could happen. What was bugging you was that Dean knew more; they all did, and you still hadn’t gotten all the answers you needed.
You closed your bedroom door but couldn’t relax, so you paced a few feet from the foot of the bed. Your mind swam with questions. After several minutes, you finally just plopped down on the foot of your bed, frustrated, when you felt a sharp stinging feeling on the side of your neck. Just as you reached for it and your vision went blurry, someone came into view as they stepped out of the closet, and then everything went black.
----------------------------------------- Chapter 16 - Coming soon
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jpitha · 2 days
Text
The Long Way
This is an edit of an old one of mine.
"No" Cellmenian's voice rose in pitch. She was trying to hold back the rising tide of panic. "No." Her fur bristled and stood out straight, making her look fluffy. Without knowing why she did it, humans might call it cute. It was not.
The blast had only happened about an hour ago. They were en route from Sol to Parvati, a ferry flight of the Starjumper City of Troy, when three of the four reactors had oversped and exploded. If that wasn't bad enough, they were just about to engage their wormhole generator and link over when it happened. The explosion had caused an overload of power to flow to the wormhole generator, and they mis-linked. THe wormhole generator was sheared in half, with the other half somewhere else in space. Deep in interstellar space, Troy was able to triangulate their location from known pulsars, but that was a small comfort when they calculated how long it would take to cruise to where they could be rescued.
"I'm sorry Celle, It's the only way." Kat said, shrugging. "We're too far from the warp gates; we lost most of the reactors in the blast. Hibernation is the only way to get back. It won't take that long. Maybe a decade."
The humans had explored space for a long time before they found other sapients in the galaxy. Long enough to try out just about every different kind of way they could think of to shrink the distance between stars. Most other sapients think the humans insane for the different ways they made "canned mammal" and flung it into the abyss.
They assumed it was some human thing; a desire to leave their planet by any means necessary. They thought the humans were trying to escape. They were right, but not for the reason they thought. It wasn't escape the humans sought, but exploration. The need to see what was out there with their own eyes. The need to go somewhere new.
Among the more gossiping sapients were whispers that there were still human generation ships, soaring in the interstellar darkness between stars. Ships where whole cities of people grow up, live, love, and die just to be caretakers of their hibernating colonists. Being born, living, loving, creating the next generation, and dying not even knowing that their compatriots back home can now warp between stars in days and (for the truly in a hurry) punch holes in spacetime and link between planets with a wormhole. When asked, the human authorities get quiet and make noises that make it clear that this line of conversation is done.
Only the humans make wormholes, the other sapients shudder at the insanity of it, yet, will still use their systems when they need to be somewhere right away.
"Cellmenian?" It was City of Troy, the ship. "I do not have the printable mass to repair the wormhole generator, and even if I did, the reactor's destruction severely limited my power producing ability. I can thrust towards Parvati, but at this distance, it will be... a while before we get there. I am sorry."
"No!" Cellmenian was screaming now. "You can't consign me to spend however many years it takes for us to get to a place where we can be rescued when I...when I..." She broke down, sobbing. "When I have my family to get home to." She slid down to the deck, sitting rather than passing out, tears streaming from her large eyes. "This was supposed to be a one month trip!" She cried "One month!" Kat couldn't help but notice that the K'laxi cried just like humans did. She didn't mention it though, Celle was going through enough.
Kat sat down next to her friend and said nothing. After a while, she put her arm around the smaller sapient. "I'm sorry Celle." She whispered. "If I could wave a hand and fix it, I would."
They sat in silence together, the gravity of their situation pinning them to the floor.
"What about everyone else?" Celle asked.
"Unfortunately, many of them were caught in the blast." Troy said. "You, Kat, and a few others are all that is left. They are all preparing to enter hibernation as well."
"And you're just okay with this?" Celle's ears and tail were flicking in irritation. "Most of the crew is dead, and you're all being entirely too calm about it."
"Well, for one thing, we've had training." Kat said, gently. "We understand that even though we've been a spacefaring species for a long time, accidents still happen. Any trip we take could be our last, or could take so long that everyone we know is gone by the time we return." Kat sighed. "And for another thing, if we stop, we'll die too, Celle. We will mourn them when we're safe. For now though, we have to put it aside for our own survival."
"A beacon!" Celle stood suddenly, unsteady on her feet. "Why don't we link a beacon to Parvati for help?"
"Our supply of beacons was destroyed in the blast." Troy said. There was a touch of sadness in their voice. "I am making a note to recommend that emergency beacons be placed in other areas of the ship for future revisions."
"So that's it then." Celle said, sitting back down, her eyes welling with tears again. "I spend decades in a box, and when I awake, everyone I know is old or dead."
Kat said nothing, she just sat with Celle.
"Okay." Celle said, with a sniff. "If we're going to go into hibernation, I want to do it now. I want the shortest possible time conscious before I see my... family...again." as she blinked, more tears ran down her cheek.
"Well Troy?" Kat addressed the ship. "Are the hibernation berths printed?"
"Almost, Kat." the ship replied. "Luckily, I had some data from Contact about K'laxi needs in hibernation. You can both hibernate safely for the boost home. You'll climb into the cabinet, close the door, and before you realize what happened, the door will open, and you'll be at Parvati."
"Let's go then. No time like the present."
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tarithenurse · 3 days
Text
Pirate's Bounty II
Fandom: MCU AU
Pairing/starring: 1st mate!Bucky x Pirate princess!reader
Word count: 1128
Content: Smut
A/N: Woopsie! Wrote a part 2. Hope you’re okay with that.
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Pirate’s Bounty II
Sharing a room at the inn, the Pirate’s Cove, was Bucky’s idea of safety. Falling asleep fully dressed after the ball was not planned but she has slept wonderfully albeit rather brief.
Waking up, [Y/N]’s vaguely aware of the soft light coming through the curtains from the courtyard beyond. What’s more pressing, however, is the weight over her waist that holds her warm and snug against a hard shape behind her. Glancing around, she’s soon verified that it’s Bucky who has scooped her into his arm and drifted off on the comfortable bed before she woke.
Lying as still as she can, the captain considers disentangling herself but...it actually feels lovely. Safe. So instead she remains where she is, fingertips slowly caressing his knuckles until the light of dawn starts to fill the room and he wakes from his rest too.
Yawning. Stretching against her form. She can feel his muscles flex and his hip push against her behind, causing her to remember that night on the deck.
“Good morning,” the young woman whispers.
“Morning.” He pulls her closer, then freezes at the realization. But: “Shit, I fell asleep!”
She twists to look at him. “That’s what you take from this?”
He doesn’t bother to look sheepish even as he maintains his grip. “Figured I’d feel if you tried to sneak away.”
There’s a certain logic to it, of course, as offensive as it may be to be called out on something she very well might have done just months ago. But now no longer.
“I know I can’t do that,” she admits, turning her head away.
“You’ll get your freedom back some day,” he offers surprisingly kind.
She sighs. “And until then you’ll watch my back.”
“Please!” he grins mischievously, “I’ll watch all of you.”
“Bucky!” But she can’t help laughing softly.
He bends down, finding her mouth with his lips even as he mumbles a “pardon me, m’lady” against her.
She’s soft and pliable, greedily taking what he offers even as his large hand begins to roam, slipping under the soft top to explore the swell of her breasts before sliding along her hip and slowly but surely hoisting up the skirt.
“Get rid of this,” he growls, giving up on the many thin layers that keep sliding back.
[Y/N] gets to her feet, suddenly insecure but also driven by a need she’s only felt a few times now. Slipping the skirt down, she steps out of it as it pools on the floor, leaving her in naught but the top and her undies and that top is the next to go, slowly lifted over her head to bare her form to a hungry looking 1st mate. She’s about to get back into the bed when he shakes his head.
“All of it,” he demands.
Stepping back, she slides the little bit of modesty she has left down her legs, revealing all of her.
“And now?” she asks, voice whispier than she wants.
Getting over to her, Bucky allows his hands to brush down her arms before skimming up her sides to cup her breasts once more.
“Those bastards have no idea what they’re missing out on,” he growls, referring to her suitors
“Please don’t make me think of them now,” [Y/N] pleads.
He grins cockily. “Oh, I’ll take your mind off things.”
Next thing she knows, she’s been more or less tossed onto the bed, automatically spreading her legs to cradle Bucky between them even as he holds himself off of her.
This time the kiss is hungry. Searing. All teeth and tongue, little bites that wander down her jaw and onto her neck while her fingers tangle in his hair. She gasps when he takes a nipple in his mouth, suckling gently but hard enough to sting just a little and she knows she’s done for as the pressure within her increases, begging for more. Like a knot wanting to be cut.
But for one as brusque and direct, Bucky takes his time teasing and winding her up until she’s a whining mess, begging for more although his mouth and hands have been everywhere.
“More?” he double checks, looking up from where he’s kneeling between her legs, lips glistening from her juices. “Are you certain?”
She whimpers. “Yes. More. There must be more.”
About ready to cry when he steps out of the bed, the young woman is quickly silenced as she sees him untie his trousers revealing something she’s only seen once in real life and that in a different state. Now his cock stands erect, proud. Bobbing slightly at the newfound freedom but mostly scaring her with the sheer size.
“Come here,” he steps closer, reaching for her hand.
With him, she touches his erection for the first time, feeling how silken the skin is despite the hardness of the member. She explores, learning how it pulses when she touches beneath the head that’s a dark purple and slowly it becomes less scary.
Making her scoot over, Bucky lies down and guides his lover on top of him, slowly showing her how to pump the cock between her hands until she finds a rhythm that makes his eyes fall shut and the large man groan in pleasure.
“Fuck yeah...”
But he doesn’t allow her to continue, instead repositioning her with the tip of the cock nestled in between her legs right at the entrance to her cunt.
“Take it slow,” he guides her, “a bit at a time.”
Her heart is hammering in her chest as she slowly sinks onto him, spearing herself on the blunt tip. The stretch burns but it’s delicious too and each inch earns her growled praises from Bucky. Rocking back and forth, she eventually can’t take any more, she feels, and when she looks down, she finds that she’s fully seated on his cock. So full.
“Yeah?” he asks her.
“Fuck,” she sighs, gently gyrating the hips to really feel him in her heat.
Large hands find her hips, help her find a rhythm again. Slow and steady up and down until her thighs are burning and her body tenses and she can’t breathe or see but only arch her back in ecstasy.
“So fucking beautiful,” she vaguely hears him growl.
Then her world spins and she finds her beneath him, legs wrapped around his hips that move with a new purpose, bringing her high once more at the same time as he stutters in the movements and growls into her neck something guttural. Something primal.
Bucky manages not to collapse onto the considerably smaller female, instead rolling them so she rests on top. There, they just lie, catching their breaths.
“That was...” [Y/N] tries to articulate, “that was...amazing.”
“Fuck yeah it was,” the 1st mate agrees.
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wordsarelife · 4 hours
Text
—mine
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pairing: theo nott x fem!reader
summary: your’s and theo's relationship throughout the years
warnings: canon typical violence near the end, mentions of the war, blood and death
note: feel free to request stuff for the christmas calender!!
theo was startled by a sudden voice who called out his name, he turned around, the book he was about to push into the empty space still in his hand. 
"nott" you had muttered, arms crossed and the surprised expression on his face when he turned around had almost made you lose it. you quirked a brow at the missing reaction. "i guess you don't even know my name?" 
"sorry" theo winced and you could see how umcomfortable he was simply because he knew nothing about the person standing in front of him. 
"don't feel too bad" you shrugged. "didn't know yours until you borrowed my favorite book for four weeks and i had to beg madam pince to tell me the name of the person who had it" 
"well, sorry again" theo held the book in your direction. "you can have it now, if you still want it" 
you completely ignored the book, until theo sighed and put it back in the empty space on the shelf where it belonged. "guess not" he muttered to himself. 
"so, tell me, theodore nott" you followed him back to the table with his things. "what tempts a guy like you to borrow a book like that?" 
"well, without meaning to insult you, i'd say it is more male literature than female isn't it?"
"you're a moron if you really think something like female or male literature exists" you sat down in the chair across from him. "i wouldn't declare sherlock holmes as male literature, more preciously i would say that most boys are too daft to even understand half the things arthur conan doyle mentions and to your information i'm taking great insult to whatever the hell you just said"
"geez" theo's eyes had widened, he found you a bit odd, annoying even, but he couldn't help but feel all the same intrigued. "like what you just said isn't an insult. most boys are too daft, huh?" 
"maybe daft is a bit too harsh, i admit that" you rolled your eyes, a smile on your lips, "but i'd say most are too impatient to read those books, yes"
"well, you're not wrong about that" theo nodded "i can't remember the last time one of my friends touched a book that wasn't part of a class" 
"that's quiet sad, i'd say"
"i agree" theo smiled. "so, now that we're on the same page, do you mind telling me your name? i feel like i deserve to know it"
"no" you grinned just as the smile vanished from his face. "i decide when you deserve to know, theodore nott" you left him sitting there, speechless about the sudden rejection. 
you never actually told theo your name. he only found out when you managed to borrow the memoirs of sherlock holmes for two months straight. 
the next time that the two of you talked was a few months later, at the beginning of december. snow had fallen and the hogwarts grounds had turned into a beautiful white landscape. 
the snow was poudry, but you managed not to slip as you made your way through it. your body tightly wrapped in layers of clothing, the thick ravenclaw scarf almost reaching up to your eyes as the falling snow hit your face. 
"not the right weather for a stroll, is it?" theodore nott had caught up to you, not exactly spotting the right outfit for the wuthering cold. 
"well, i know there's a reason you're a slytherin and not a ravenclaw, but i would've expected you to be just a little smarter, nott" 
theo looked down on his clothes just as you did. "i was actually just going for a smoke"
"in the middle of a mild snowstorm?" you quirked a brow. "i'd say it's not the right weather to be doing that either"
"you're a real know-it-all" 
"tell me something new, nott" you rolled your eyes "it's exhausting to always be right, you know?"
"i bet it is" theo shrugged sarcastically. "there had to have been a reason you got sorted into ravenclaw"
"well, as said before, i can see why you weren't" you shrugged with a grin. 
theo sighed. "another dig at the outfit, really?" 
"well, considering you're standing here discussing with me and getting yourself wet, i'd say i'm allowed to keep judging your outfit" 
"fair point" theo nodded and you were surprised he gave up so easily. "are you coming or what?" he asked, ready to walk back inside.
"no" you shook your head "you go ahead though, wouldn't want you catching a cold, who would faint during potions then and entertain the rest of the class?"
"hey, that was one time" he called, as you walked away "how did you even hear about that, we're not in the same potions class?"
you just shrugged and send him a smile over your shoulder. he was standing in front of the doors to the castle, soaked from head to toe and you had to admit, theodore nott was a (beautiful) sight for sore eyes. 
it wasn't like you minded theo's company, but you noticed how he started hanging around the places you frequently visited during the weeks to come. 
theo had it especially easy when he realized that you stuck to your routines during the week, making it impossible for him to miss you once he had figured it out. 
monday and wednesdays after class were spent in the library, doing homework or reading a book from your list. tuesdays you helped madam pomfrey in the infirmary, healing minor injuries or filling up medicine cabinets. thursdays were reserved for your friends, playing card games or just spending time together in the common room, you always found something to do. 
fridays were flexible and you often decided what to do spontaneously. sometimes you did a little tutoring, on other fridays you helped madam pince sort through books and put them back where they belonged or you continued reading the book you had begun reading that week. saturdays and sundays were for remaining homework, hogsmeade visits and drafting letters to send back to your family on the start of the next week. 
"you're not being slick, you know that?"
it was a friday and you were putting away books, when theo kept lingering around you, like he had done that past week. 
"what?" he asked, looking up from the book in front of him, a confused tone to his voice, clearly trying to mask that he knew exactly what you were talking about.
"well, i was sure you knew stalking was considered a legal offence" you noted.
"stalking?" he repeated. "i'm not stalking you"
"now, you're not not stalking me, are you?" you send a tight-lipped smile in his direction. "i do admit that it might be a question of definition, though" 
"aren't you a bit full of yourself if you think i would be stalking you"
"that was offensive" you rolled your eyes "and i'm pretty sure i'm not imaging you turning up everywhere i went this past week. and considering i didn't know you until a few months ago, i'd say that you only started doing that recently"
"well, i didn't"
"okay, you didn't" your shrugged and turned back to the shelf, reaching for another row of books from the trolley beside you, before you pushed them in a row one after the other. 
theo furrowed his brows, surprised by you just letting him get away like that. he knew he wasn't being slick, hell, he even knew that he was behaving like a stalker. you weren't wrong in the slightest and theo felt a bit called out by your words. but on the other hand, you hadn't said anything about being opposed to the idea that he really did go everywhere you did.
you waved at him, before you pushed the trolley into the next row of shelves. it didn't take long for him to follow, already making a decision in his mind. 
"go out with me" 
if he had startled you, you didn't show it. you didn't even blink at his suggestion, rather ignoring him like he was a fly on the wall, as you continued reaching for books on the trolley.
theo pushed the trolley to the side and stepped into the empty space. the next time you tried to reach for a stack of books, you touched his chest instead. 
"you're still here, nott" you noted the obvious. 
theo had to admit that he was a tad bit unsettled by your ignorance. he wasn't sure if you really hadn't heard him or if you just ignored the question, because he had made you uncomfortable. 
"you know, normally stalkers don't look so scared" you smiled mischievously. 
"i'm not stalking you, but i can understand if my company made you uncomfortable and i apologize if i have gone too far"
"you're a bit weird, you know that?"
"this is a serious topic, y/n" 
you smiled at the honesty in his voice and sighed. "do you really think if you were making me uncomfortable or i was scared of you i would continue to speak to you?" 
"well, no—"
"i'm not a child, theodore nott, i can voice when i'm annoyed, but i respect your manners" you smiled "and if anyone follows me around like a lost puppy, i'm glad it's someone with at least a little intellect"
"little intellect?" theo repeated offended. 
"you might be smarter than i thought, but you're really bad at this" 
"i know" 
"well, would you now let me sort in the rest of these books? you're kind of in the way"
theo, nodded, the disappointment flashing over his features just like a wave of water. "i guess that's a no" 
you waited until he had stepped aside and pushed the trolley back in it's original position. your hands reached for the row of sherlock holmes books and you held them up at him like a trophy. "that means yes, obviously" 
theo spent exactly three days brainstroming what to do for your date. his friends tried their best at helping him, more than interested to finally hear something about the mysterious girl theo had been infuriated with these past weeks. 
"is she that hideous?" blaise asked on the third day of theo's hard thinking.
"what?" theo raised his brows, he had been too deep in thought to even hear his friend.
"blaise just asked if your girlfriend was hideous, i'd hit him if i were you" mattheo shrugged, stiring the pot. it had been a particular slow morning and he had to admit that it would be quiet entertaining to see blaise and theo fight each other. 
"five galleons on blaise" enzo added, before theo was able to say something. 
"have a little faith in him" pansy said next to theo. "he might not look like it, but the boy has a wicked right hook"
"this is just embarrassing" draco threw the newspaper down in front of him. 
"what?" pansy giggled "the newspaper or that theo and blaise are going to slap each other even more stupid"
"take a guess"
"guys" theo sighed, annoyance already taking over the worry that was bubbling inside him. "i'm not going to fight blaise and y/n is not my girlfriend"
"no yet" enzo wiggled his brows.
"y/n, huh?" mattheo said with a mischievous smile.
"oh god" all colour drained from theo's face. "please tell me the two of you didn't hook up with each other"
"close to it" mattheo shrugged. "she tended to my wounds in the infirmary once and i could tell she had the hots for me"
"wasn't she the one who said you had the charm of a troll and the brains to match?" blaise offered with a smirk.
enzo's mouth almost hit the table infront of him by how fast it flew open. "that was y/n?" he giggled.
theo had to smile. "that does sound like something she'd say"
"she sounds lovely" draco nodded sarcastically "but at least she never saw mattheo naked. that does make her at least a little likable"
"i already love her" pansy quickly said, before draco could continue his judging. "seems like she knows how to handle little annoyances" 
"i'm not a little annoyance"
"yeah" theo nodded "you're a quite big one, actually" 
theo couldn't tell what had led him to the idea for your date, but he had known in that moment what the both of you should do. 
"so hot chocolate was your huge idea?" you smiled as you sat down in the booth across from him, the server already putting down two mugs with steaming hot drinks in front of you. 
"i saw how your friends gave you their hot chocolate packages after dinner and figured this might be something you liked" he shrugged "and before you call me a stalker again, i'm just very attentive to those around me"
you giggled as the grandma at the table next to you send you a worried glance at theo's words.
"he's harmless" you laughed in a way to assure her. 
theo managed an awkward wave and the woman turned away quickly.
"well, it seems those around you are very attentive too" you giggled. 
"i'm sorry" theo tried to hide behind his mug, feeling a tad bit ashamed at the awkward encounter, but having to laugh at the same time. 
"don't be" you smiled honestly "rather tell me something i didn't already find out by snooping around"
"you snooped around?" theo exclaimed surprised. 
"i had to get even, after you found out everything about me" you shrugged "i met this lovely boy, i think he goes by the name enzo, who told me a whole lot about you"
"oh god, no" 
"quite interesting to hear about all those things from someone who has no interest in sleeping with me"
"what? i don't—“
"so you don't intend to sleep with me?" you smiled. "don't be ridiculous, theodore nott"
"i'm just not used to being this straightforward, admittedly"
you completely ignored the surprise swinging in his voice and went on with your story. "enzo did give me some exciting information and i wanted to talk about one thing in particular"
theo was ready to close his eyes and open them back up after you had screamed and left him sitting alone at the table. he had to admit that he wasn't particularly proud of his dating history (or lack of) before he met you and he was sure you weren't happy about that either. 
"before you say something" he interrupted you, before you were able to let the words slip past your lips. "i'm not like that anymore, i was young and not interested in a relationship and just wanted a bit of fun—"
"what are you talking about exactly?" you asked, a susprised smile on your face. 
"that wasn't what you wanted to talk about, was it?" theo asked and you shook your head giggling. 
"i mean, don't let me tell you what to talk about" you managed to say between your laughter. "we can talk about your previous hookups if that's something you'd like to discuss"
"i'd rather not" theo shook his head and his cheeks turned rosy. 
"fine" you smiled "now back to my question: how did you manage to play out that prank on professor binns in our third year?"
theo's features relaxed at the simple question and he smiled, recalling the memory. "so it all started with a ridiculous idea from mattheo and me getting roped into something stupid again"
you spent the rest of the night talking and ordering one hot chocolate after the other. there was not one second of awkward silence, even as theo brought you back to your common room. 
"i had a lot of fun tonight" theo smiled, hands sinking into the pockets of his trousers. 
you had admired how well dressed he was when he had come to get you in the afternoon. 
"me too" you said honestly. "i can't wait for the next one"
"so there will be a next one?" 
"don't be ridiculous, theodore nott" you smiled, before telling the password to the eagle ontop of the door. "of course there will a next one" you slipped into the common room and away from the smiling boy in front of it. 
"are they weirder than you?" 
the voice startled theo, as he was standing in front of the shelf in the library. he turned around, not surprised that it was you who had asked that question. you mostly started your conversations in the middle, without so much as a hello or some kind of warning. 
"what?" theo wasn't sure what else to ask.
"you friends of course" you shrugged, like that had been obvious "we've been together for a month and i've never even met them" 
"well, you have met them" theo corrected. "like in the hallways or during dinner" 
"you know what i mean, theodore" you rolled your eyes. "i don't think a grunting sound could be classified as me meeting someone"
"that's just blaise, honestly" theo muttered "but pansy waved to you during dinner more than three times now"
"theo" you pushed "either something is completely wrong with them or me and i'd like to know what it is, now" you sighed, before you added "just say if you're ashamed of me or something, i know i can be a bit rude to people i don't know"
"y/n" theo sighed "i'm sorry that i let you think that. they're just annoying, that's all"
"and you thought they would scare me away?" you smiled, touching his cheeks with your hands. "you stalked me for weeks and i'm still dating you, aren't i?"
"that's never gonna be funny" he called after you, as you walked out of the library. "fine, breakfast at the slytherin table for you tomorrow" 
"aye, aye" 
"she's not hideous" was the first thing you heard when you sat down at the table the next morning. 
"well, you aren't either, zabini" you smiled, not even fazed by his assumption. "even though theo warned me about you" 
"burn!" enzo called, exchanging a high five with pansy. 
"i'm so glad we finally get to meet" pansy smiled. "i've just been waiting to have another girl around, it sometimes gets to much with all the testosterone"
"i don't know how you manage, honestly" you smiled.
to say theo's friends and you hit it off immediately would be an understatement. it took approximately ten minutes for you to become part of the group. enzo and you had been friends before, unlikely study partners, after you had helped him on a potions assignment once. pansy was ready to keep you by her side for the rest of the year and even blaise took a quick liking to you.
mattheo and draco were harder to break. mattheo, still having a pretty hurt ego about you turning him down the year before, was sure that you were just dating theo to get back at him for whatever reason and draco was just not interested to have any relationship past a simple hello and goodbye. 
you didn't mind their antics, even if theo repeatedly apologized for it. 
yours and theo’s relationship lasted for exactly two years. theo broke up with you one day after your anniversary.
the break up was painful, the fight that followed even more and still, you held him that evening, both of you understanding the severity of your situation and the war that was waiting to happen.
“theo” you cried, rushing through the ruins of the courtyard just months later. 
you had been on different sides after all. you had followed harry potter into the war and theo had been bound to his father and to the promise the man had given to the dark lord. just like draco, mattheo, pansy, blaise and enzo. 
your friends had gotten lost in the fight and despite not being supposed to, you were desperately screaming for them. 
you ran back into the castle, not having found theo outside. you send curses at the death eaters that tried approaching you, having more luck than an actual plan. you were simply determined to find him. 
you were thrown down to the ground as the doors of the room of requirement suddenly appeared and flew open. just as quickly as they had opened, they closed again, spitting out people in the procress, before the fire was tamed behind the doors. 
harry potter, hermione granger and ron weasley were standing up from the ground slowly, black powder darkening their cheeks and clothes. 
it took a moment for you to realize who the other two people were, as you quickly got up from the ground. 
draco was breathing just as heavily as blaise was, both trying to fill their lungs with air. 
“oh god” you mumbled, before you finally started moving, your legs guiding you into the direction of your friends, falling into their arms and pressing them close to you. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry” you cried. 
blaise and draco held onto you just as tight, not being able to let you go as they cried into your hair.
“be honest, draco” you said when you broke the hug, completely ignoring the trio next to you. 
“theo” draco muttered, knowing what you were talking about immediately. blaise and him exchanged a look. 
“is he dead?” you asked, heartbreak already burning in your limbs and throat. you were ready to mourn, ready to lose your life just like him. he had died for the wrong cause, but you hoped, heart heavy in your chest, that death was more forgiving than his life had been. 
“we don’t know” blaise finally said. “we got seperated in the halls, theo—he was looking for you i think”
“i have to find him” you muttered, touching each hand of the boys in front of you. “stay safe” you kissed both of their cheeks, before you turned on your heel, running down the corridor opposite of where you had come from. 
“theo!” you called once more, running up the stairs and through various hallways, hopeless to ever receive an answer.
“y/n” a voice called and you almost crumbled from the surprise it reached you with. hope was hard to keep and you had thought, really thought, that he was dead. 
theo wasn’t dead, but close to it. he was laying on the ground, his back against the wall, while the rest of his body was bathing in his own blood. his cheeks were empty of any colour, lips dry and almost blue as he looked up at you with tired eyes. 
“oh god” you muttered in shock, slipping onto the ground beside him, your uniform soaking up the blood like it was water in the lake. your hands touched his chest and the big glass shard that was stuck inside of it. theo hissed in pain. “sorry, sorry” you whispered. 
“they surprised me as i came down the corridor” he explained. “i was looking for you”
“you found me now” you whispered once more. 
“i don’t think they meant to do this” sweat dripped from his forehead. “they were kids, not older than fourteen, but they left and they took my wand”
“oh god” you repeated as you shook your head, holding his face in your blood soaked hands and kissing his lips softly.
“i thought you were dead” tears slipped over his cheeks and you shook your head crying. 
“i’m gonna help you” you said quickly, before reaching for your wand and using it’s magic to extract the glass from theo’s body. he was winding on the ground, the pain probably unbearable. but you had to do this in order to help him. he would heal, he would survive and that was all that mattered to you in this moment. 
“i don’t want to fight” theo cried “not for them, not against you” 
“i know, my love, i know”
the healing had begun, slowly but surely his wound closed up, only leaving behind the blood around you and the worry on your face.
“come on” you said, as soon as he looked less pale. you took his hand and he followed you through the corridors of the castle, standing next to you when you had to fight death eaters, even beginning to send curses himself. 
“you don’t have to fight, theo” you called over the loudness of the fight. “confringo! i don’t want you to fight against him” 
“i’m not leaving you” theo called back, his voice nearly drowned out by the deatheater across from him, who was screaming curses and uttering threats about theo’s betrayal at the same time. “he doesn’t mean anything to me”
“what?” you send the deatheater flying against the wall, effectively knocking him out. your wand was now facing theo's death eater too.
“i don’t care for my father” theo said, before he too send the man flying. “i only care for you and your well being”
you made sure it was safe, before you pulled him in and kissed him so passionately that you almost forgot you had ever been apart. “don’t ever let me go again, theodore nott” 
“i wouldn’t dare, y/n l/n” 
you took his hand, walking back into the entrance hall, looking if you were needed anywhere. that’s when you saw them coming over the bridge. 
“he’s here” you said, pushing theo behind you if there was really anything you could do to save him. “he’s—“ you paused, as the both of you walked closer up behind the rows of people already standing in the courtyard.
“harry…?” your voice was quiet, as you adressed the boy you had put all your hope in. someone you hadn’t known well, not well enough to be on first name basis, but what did it matter now that he was. what was he?
“harry potter is dead!” voldemort announced loudly, while the deatheaters broke into laughter. 
ginny weasley dashed forward with a heartbreaking scream. “no! no!”
“stupid girl! harry potter is dead, from this day forth you put your faith in me” you looked down onto the ground in front of you and then back at theo, who looked like he was being painfully tortured by voldemorts words. he too had set his hope into harry.
“it’s done” you said softly. “the war is over”
“we lost”
“harry potter is dead!” voldemort repeated once more “and now is the time to declare youself. come forward and join us.. or die”
your ears were drenched out by the wailing sound in your head. it was loud that you missed everything neville said. you pressed your eyes close, wishing to be anywhere else. to be free from this destiny, but you knew you could never just leave. you wouldn’t be able to leave all these people behind. 
it was theo‘s voice that woke you from your half sleeping state. the word he muttered was foreign on his tongue, but ignited a flame inside of you immediately. 
“harry”
your eyes snapped open like a gun shot had rung through the air. but it wasn’t the sound of a gun. it was harry potter, who was running and firing spells at voldemort. you just had seconds to react, before the fight broke out again, no end in sight. 
you had never thought to be happy that a war continued.
but continuation meant that you hadn’t lost yet. there was a chance to win as long as harry potter was alive. 
when voldemort finally dies, it’s nothing like you ever imagined. he bursts into the air, pieces by pieces disappearing until only his wand is left. 
the deatheater in front of you let’s his wand fall to the ground and you don’t have any interest to finish the job as you sank into theo��s arms. content is flashing through your body and immediate tiredness is dragging you down. theo holds you as all your weight crashes against him. 
you‘re tired of fighting and of war and death and fear. there is nothing in your head, apart from the thought that you will never have to endure all of that again.
theo and you went away after the war.
you travelled europe for a year, before you came back to hogwarts to finish the school year you were still missing. 
theo got a job at the ministry, you started working at hogwarts. he proposed to you the day that you signed the contract. 
your wedding was beautiful. pansy and luna were your bridesmaids. draco and mattheo were theo‘s groomsmen. all of your friends were there. you had even invited the golden trio, it was only thanks to them that the both of you were still alive and able to celebrate your connection.
“you lost your bow again, robin!” theo picked up the little pink bow and clipped it to his suit, knowing that your daughter was way too busy to even hear him call for her. 
“maybe you should just give up” you suggested, picking up luke who was softly hitting your leg, seemingly tired of walking. 
“but she looks so cute with it!” theo protested, the disappointment sipping from his voice as he pushed the trolley through the wall. 
“it‘s no use if she always loses them” you shrugged. “what is it? like the tenth one you’ve gotten her in the past month alone? just wait until she’s older, love”
theo sighed, but nodded at your suggestion. 
“grace, robin” you called, looking around the people in front of you to spot your girls. 
“well, lucky you’ve got me” mattheo popped up next to you, robin in his arms, as he threw a wink in your direction. 
“why are you even here, mate?” theo asked annoyed “you didn’t have any children the last time i checked”
“well, theres still a few women we’re not a hundred percent sure about yet” pansy joked as she appeared in front of you. “hey sweetheart” she kissed your cheek, before she took luke out of your arms. 
“haha” mattheo rolled his eyes. “i was just accompanying my nieces and nephew’s like a good godfather and uncle should do”
“nope” theo shook his head. “you’re still not grace’s godfather, one daughter of mine has to be enough, riddle” 
“yeah, yeah” mattheo shook his head, clearly not caring about anything theo said “we’ll get there eventually”
“no, we won’t, that’s the point—“ 
“hello nott” blaise greeted, draco following, scorpius and grace behind him. you sighed in relief, glad you daughter had not gotten lost.
“blaise” theo nodded, while you went around the trolley, hugging both men. 
“amazing style choice” blaise pointed against his chest and theo's eyes fell down on his own chest, having completely forgotten about the bow he had pinned there. “looks great on you, mate”
“it’s robin’s”
“sure, keep telling yourself that” blaise said with a sarcastic smile “i heard denial is a river in egypt, y/n”
you giggled, but promptly stopped when theo elbowed you. “you’re my wife. mine” he muttered between clenched teeth, but clearly joking. 
draco took a look on his watch. “there are places we have to be, aren’t there?” he set a hand on both scorpius’ and grace’s shoulder, who were talking to each other excitedly.
“of course” you nodded, following your friends to the platform and hugging your daughter so close, as if that might make her leaving a little less hard. “stay with scorpius, sweetheart. stick together, the both of you” you advised. 
“i think isaac was trying to safe a department for the three of you” blaise told you daughter, who smiled gratefully. 
“yes, mum” grace nodded, before you swapped places with theo, who was already crying. 
“write to me every week, honey!” he declared. “stay far away from professor trewlaney and close to your mother as soon as she’s back at work”
“theo” you shook your head “she should have space to develop” you watched grace and scorpius board the train, waving as it slowly left the station.
“i’ve seen people develop at hogwarts!” he shook his head “it lead to a pregnancy in your case”
blaise and draco choked on their spit simultaneously.
“that was after i became a teacher and you know it, dear husband”
mattheo held robin away from him, to take her in fully. “were you made there too?” he muttered, more to himself than anyone in particular.
“mattheo!” draco, pansy and you scolded loudly. 
“hey guys!” enzo appeared behind you suddenly, startling all of you. “oh no, they’re already off, aren’t they?” 
you nodded sadly, feeling sorry for the poor bloke who couldn’t arrive on time if his life depended on it.
“half an hour too late” draco exclaimed with a look at his watch. “as always”
“well you know the traffic is being a bitch” enzo slapped a hand to his mouth, before he took a quick look at evie next to him. “sorry, love. well everything’s been a b-word since jacky started forcing me to use muggle transportation.”
“i do not envy you one bit” mattheo shrugged.
“well, evie” enzo shrugged “the train is gone, but i hear that the weasleys have this super cool car, that—“
“no!” you shook your head, taking the little girls hand in yours. “i’ll take her!” 
“so get-together at yours or what, nott?” mattheo asked “gonna have to know which of your kids were conceived in hogwarts” 
“mattheo!” all of you scolded at the same time.
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enm-enthusiast · 2 days
Text
Birthday Buzz
I want to give special thanks to @suitedwestend for helping me develop quite a few of the ideas and erotic turns of this story. Thanks for being such a great source of inspiration, and I hope to strip you naked in-person someday! ;)
Here's a short little ENM story for you all, I wanted to do a few side projects before ultimately returning to my main series, and hey, if this does well I may make it a separate ongoing series. I've always wanted to do a CYOA-style series, and I'd like to think this one would fit that roll, but lmk what you all think, and please, enjoy!
Mark
Mark and Adrian were happily married husbands who were both in their early-thirties, Mark was turning 33 today while Adrian was fast approaching 35 in just a few months. Mark was a tall, muscled bear with a bit of facial hair that he kept neatly groomed, had black hair and bright green eyes. His office clothes always clung on to him tightly because of his big, beefy frame yet he kept himself in good shape, especially his glutes as he had a magnificent bubble butt that sometimes earned him a leering stare or two at the office. Adrian however, was a shorter, lean otter with blonde hair and blue eyes. 
They met in their early twenties at a gay bar and have been inseparable ever since, and got married five years ago, but occasionally they’ll ask a third to join them in the bedroom. That’s just the thing about these two, they’re Kinky with a capital K, into all sorts of scenes. A few in particular that the two had been trying out lately were ENM and Control Toys…
You see, big tough Mark had a shameful little secret…he was a total sub, and was often Adrian’s submissive slave, completely under his husband's control. 
Nowadays, Adrian had been ‘forcing’ Mark to strip naked outside, even streak across their neighborhood at night sometimes, and sometimes threatened to shave off thick Mark’s body hair. As embarrassed and humiliated he often felt at being so exposed…it gave him such a hard-on, his uncut cock often swinging at full mast between his legs as he streaked. 
This brings us to the couple’s latest adventure, however, because Adrian had bought his husband a remote control vibrator for his birthday today, and made him try it out right before Mark had to leave for work…He was almost late because of how lost he got in the pleasure of Adrian making him beg to make the toy buzz inside his ass.
Even now, at work, the mere memory of it made Mark feel a slight stirring in his crotch, which made his face flush red and he instinctively bowed his head closer to his desk to keep anyone from seeing his embarrassed, yet aroused state. Mark silently cursed however, as there was one problem with doing just that…the toy was still inside of him.
It was off, of course, but Adrian had ordered Mark to keep it inside him all day at work, and that he had better not cum before getting home in just a few hours now, promising to show his husband just how grateful he’d be if he did as he was told. Mark couldn’t help but feel a shiver down his spine as he remembered how his husband had leaned in close to his ear and whispered “good boy” right as he was heading out the door. Mark had almost got on his knees right there and then to beg for Adrians cock in either his mouth or his ass, but he managed to keep it together, after all, he had a party to attend at work.
His party, in fact, for everyone at the office had put together a small celebration for him during the last half hour of work today, and he knew they’d be devastated if he missed a second of it. Mark worked in a small office department, made up mostly of men except for management who were all on vacation for the next three days. 
Mark just had one hour left now, he’d celebrate with the guys at the office then head straight back home to his husband, his cock began to throb to near full hardness in his tight office pants thinking about worshiping his husband's cock, maybe even stripping naked outside again?
Snap out of it! You're not 25 anymore, act like it! Mark said to himself, shaking off his arousal as best he could and finished up his closing paperwork. 
As soon as he was done, he looked towards the office clock and saw that the party started in just a few minutes, and he smiled as he got up. Mark’s cock had finally deflated, though his pants still felt strangely tight, especially around his famous bubble butt, he merely shrugged it off, however, and he strutted towards the main office, fully confident he had everything under control…but did he?
Adrian
Adrian smiled to himself as he knew the party would be starting any minute now, and he looked away from his watch towards the remote of the toy he had made his husband keep inside him as he left for work this morning. Adrian knew and understood his husband often more than Mark did, and suspected, no he knew that Mark secretly enjoyed it whenever Adrian made him strip outside, or rather made him expose himself publicly. Thus, as he prepared to hit the switch for the remote, Adrian knew that his hubby would get his biggest thrill yet as he attempted to deal with the embarrassment of having a vibrating butt plug make him hard in front of his entire office!
Adrian’s own 6-inch penis began to harden in his pants at his husband's ordeal, and his smile never left his face as he turned on the remote, waited for it to connect to it over WiFi, and once the light turned green he pondered which setting to start at…
The remote had three settings: Low, Medium, and High. Adrian had only used the Medium setting this morning and it made Mark near delirious with how good it felt inside him…so he thought why not start small? his fingers didn’t hesitate to hit the Low setting button, and eagerly awaited his husbands return with the results.
Mark
Mark had been chatting with his office buddies, Jake and Bobby, when he nearly lurched over as he felt a familiar buzz coming from…
Oh no.
The buzzing didn’t stop either, it started as a low hum that was now rising to a sensual buzz, and it took everything Mark had to not moan as he felt his hole contract around the plug. His face began to redden and blood was flowing elsewhere too and Mark panicked as he could feel his cock hardening quickly.
“Hey Mark, everything okay?” Jake asked.
“Yeah, you were talking about you and Adrian possibly adopting kids in a few years, then suddenly you looked like you just saw your parents having sex or something” Bobby said.
Jake and Bobby were around the same age as Mark, and had known them since his freshman year in college, entering this office together, they were his best buds. As far as Mark knew, Jake was straight, but Bobby he knew was bi, they had a brief altercation in senior year when they were both drunk, and Bobby had sucked Mark’s cock, and Mark had even fucked Bobby. Neither of them spoke of that night again, yet Bobby still desired Mark from time to time, but kept it to himself because he knew Mark was married. If only he knew the opportunities before him…
“Oh…ummm. Yes! Yes i'm fine, I’m perfectly fine” Mark said, fumbling over his words as he used his hands to steady himself between two cubicles, as the buzzing from the toy continued to torment and pleasure him. He shifted his hips to try and hide his now raging hard-on, which was stretching his already tight pants to the limit. Mark should have asked his husband for some new office pants, but he liked how the tight clothing showed off his bubble butt…
He was certainly paying for it now, Mark thought to himself as his friends shared a concerned glance between each other.
“Are you sure you're okay man? I’ve never seen you like this before, if you're not feeling well we can take you home, so come on, just tell us what’s wrong” Bobby said. Mark’s friend was an average man who often went to the gym with his buddies, and was a tad darker with a caramel skin tone than the others yet had a defined physique, and was uncut just like Mark was. He had brown hair and hazel eyes, which were currently furrowed underneath his brow as he started worriedly at his friend.
“Guys, I’m telling you, I’m fine, okay?” Mark said, managing a steady, confident tone with a hint of finality to it that seemed to satisfy them…for now.
Meanwhile, Mark glanced at the clock and he still had another 15 minutes before he could leave, he downed the rest of his drink in one gulp and tried to compose himself as best he could. He could almost curse his husband for turning on the plug while Mark was at work, but…he couldn’t deny the pleasure and thrill he was getting from it. He was being toyed with like this, at his husband’s mercy…and no one had a clue, it made his dick throb even more and he stifled a groan as the pants were becoming unbearably tight.
He continued to chat with his friends and mingled with a few of the other guys from the office, they even brought out a small cake that they had bought for him, the plug was buzzing inside Mark the entire time they were singing the “Happy Birthday” song, and when he blew out the candles. He told no one what his wish was. (You’ll find out later ;)  ).
Once they had finished eating their slices of cake, with only 10 minutes left, things were about to get much worse for poor Mark, as Adrian back home decided it was time to kick things up a notch, and hit the Medium Setting button on the remote.
Just then, Mark felt the plug inside his ass go from a low buzz to something that made him cry out with a loud “Ohhhhh” and he covered his mouth to try and stop himself but it was too late, he exchanged glances with both Jake and Bobby who were staring at him with abject confusion now.
Mark couldn’t find the words, he wanted to fall to his knees, strip off his tight pants, and make himself cum despite the presence of his best friends, the thought of it turned him on a little in fact..he cast his head down in absolute shame as he felt so utterly humiliated that he was being reduced to a wobbling, moaning mess all because of a little toy.
“Mark, seriously, you’ve been acting strange tonight, I’m starting to think you’re not telling us something, I know that look in your eyes, you’ve always been such a bad liar, so come on, spill it” Bobby said in a firm tone, and he said it so confidently that it turned Mark on a little as it reminded him of the way his husband often got him to spill whatever was bothering him.
As Mark tried to open his mouth and answer with a simple need to go to the bathroom, Adrian suddenly switched the plug up to its highest setting, while Mark had been attempting to pull out his phone and text his husband, to beg him to stop. The sudden jolt he felt as the toy's vibration tripled in intensity made Mark whimper and his cock was harder than it had ever been, as he dropped his phone, which slid between his legs and landed just a few feet behind him.
Jake and Bobby stared in disbelief at the display, and as Mark turned around and began to bend over to reach his phone, bending his knees slightly so his tall frame could reach the floor. Mark bit his lip to keep himself from constantly moaning, and swore he could hear the plug vibrating in his ass now. He was so distracted by the plug and his phone that he momentarily forgot how tight his pants were, and didn’t realize until it was too late that the fabric was giving way, it was too much, and he didn’t hear the little rips and tears right at the seat of his pants. As soon as he fully bent himself over Mark’s face went white as he heard and felt a resounding:
RIIIIIIIIIPPPPP
The back seat of his pants ripped open, and felt the open air of the office on his bare ass as he had poorly chosen to wear his bright pink jockstrap. Mark was momentarily frozen until he realized that Jake and Bobby were getting a full view of his accidental exposure.  What was worse was that his jockstrap pouch was soft and silky, which made his dick feel that much more sensitive as it hardened in his pants. Once it was fully hard, however, his cock had practically pushed the material away, which made him feel like he was practically commando.
Thus, he felt the cold office air hitting his balls dangling between his legs, his cock too was swinging proudly which only heightened Mark’s humiliation.
As soon as he shook off his initial shock, Mark covered up his exposed bubble butt with one hand and stood right back up, his phone in hand, and slowly turned around. His face was crimson red as he faced his friends, who were staring at him with their mouths hanging open in complete shock, thought it seemed Jake found it a little amusing as he had a slight smirk on his face, but Bobby had a look of something else in his eyes, something Mark didn’t notice as he was too preoccupied with everything going on all at once, it was too much, he was so aroused…he needed to cum.
“I ummm…I need to go” Mark said before quickly running off towards the office bathrooms, and he didn’t even notice that there was only 1 minute left on the clock.
Mark ran, his hand still covering his exposed ass, and quickly reached the men's bathrooms and threw himself into the nearest open stall and locked himself in. Mark had never felt more embarrassed in his life, and he whipped out his phone to text his husband what had happened…
*Wow, you ripped your pants? Better take em off then*
Mark stared at the words Adrian had texted back for a few seconds before processing them fully. The plug was still vibrating but it went back down to Medium setting after Adrian had seen his text. 
*Are you insane?!* Mark replied.
*Well, the way I see it, you can either walk out with a hole in your pants, or you can be a good boy and take them off…now* Adrian said.
Mark didn’t think it was a good idea, but…they were ripped. He pondered what to do as Bobby quietly entered the bathroom…He was intrigued as he had seen quite clearly what Mark had inside him when his pants had ripped, and had guessed that that was probably why he had been acting so strange, and he was eager to try and see more, so he made up an excuse to Jake that he was going to check on Mark while the others cleaned up and left. Bobby quietly crept up towards the stall, taking out his phone and setting his camera up to film in the crack between the stall door. He wanted to save this as potential jerk-off material for later…his dick hardened as he saw Mark inside, his heart thundered in his chest as his friend’s hands fumbled towards his belt.
Mark was too distracted to notice Bobby secretly filming him, the toy was still driving him crazy and he bit his lip again to try and suppress his moans even as his knees felt weak and his cock was eager for release. Mark continued to remove his pants, his hands unbuttoning the top and slowly lowering the zipper…he hesitated for a brief moment before he let them fall and pool around his legs, exposing his jockstrap, and Bobby had to cover his mouth as he finally saw Mark’s exposed cock and balls, not to mention his delicious looking bubble butt…
Mark pulled down his underwear too, slowly pulling his feet out from between them which officially left him half-naked…he wanted so badly to cum but he had to obey his husband…didn’t he? 
Maybe he could just stroke himself a little, relieve some of the pressure, no harm in that, right? God the toy felt so good inside him, he NEEDED this. He positively whimpered and moaned as he slowly wrapped a hand around his thick, pulsing shaft and started to slowly stroke himself. Bobby watched intently, his phone recording everything and his dick was fully hard in his pants as he watched his best friend jerk off.
Suddenly, Bobby looked down at Mark’s discarded clothes, and a wicked idea popped into his head, and he smirked as he reached underneath the stall and grabbed Mark’s ripped pants, jockstrap, even his shoes and socks. Mark didn’t seem to notice, his eyes were closed as he became lost in the pleasure, he was already getting close, he needed to stop.
But he couldn’t, it felt too good, he needed to cum, and he needed to cum now, all thoughts of Adrian’s command were muffled between his desperate need for release and his sheer state of arousal from tonight's events. Luckily for Mark, Bobby decided the time was now as he stopped recording and loudly cleared his throat as he leaned against the bathroom stall door.
“Wow, sounds like a real party in there” Bobby said, smirking to himself as he had hidden Mark’s clothes in the bathroom supply closet.
Mark quickly snapped out of his jerk-off session and covered his crotch with his hands. “B-bobby? What are you doing in here...wait…where are my clothes?!” Bobby said, his voice both full of fear and anger as he knew Bobby had taken them, he felt so embarrassed at how he had failed to notice any of it.
“Oh, don’t worry about them, I hid them somewhere safe, I just thought that considering everything that happened…maybe you’d like to celebrate today by going out in your birthday suit” Bobby said.
“What?! No way Bobby, come on, stop kidding around and just give me my clothes back…please?” Mark said.
“Hmmm, no, I think I prefer you this way, I’m sure Adrian would agree that that thick butt of yours is too magnificent to keep confined in those poor, tight dress pants. I also think you’d enjoy going home fully nude, so you better strip off the shirt and tie soon, before the cleaning guys show up” Bobby said, tauntingly.
Mark was dumbfounded at this turn of events, he could either refuse and he’d be stuck here with a butt plug still going off in his ass, or he could strip fully naked and get out of here now…what kind of choice was that??? Mark thought to himself, but his hands seemed to have a will of their own, as after a moment's hesitation they reached up towards his tie, loosening the knot and unbuttoning the top buttons of his long sleeve dress shirt. Deep down he knew he had no choice…he had to get out of here, he had to get home.
Mark did his best to resist how good the plug felt inside him, and how badly he still wanted to cum, he focused singularly on giving Bobby what he wanted, and he handed over his tie as he began to strip off his shirt, exposing his furry, muscled chest and he refused to meet Bobby’s eyes as he handed over his last item of clothing, leaving him fully naked. His face bled a deep, beet red as Bobby opened the door and whistled as he gazed at his friend butt naked.
“Better get going, and don’t worry, everyone else has left” Bobby said, standing off to the side to let Mark leave.
Mark practically bolted out, his phone and wallet in hand, yet as he sped by, Bobby was quick enough to quickly grab a chunk of his right ass cheek and squeeze, which made Mark yelp but also whimpered a little as his dick twitched at the contact. 
“Have a nice drive home, birthday boy” Bobby said, winking at Mark resumed his exit from the bathroom.
Bobby was true to his word, everyone else left, yet Mark still covered his crotch as he sped out of the office towards the parking lot, and sighed in relief as he checked that he also still had his keys. He stood out in the cold, open night air fully in the nude, and he couldn’t deny how good it felt to be running around completely naked. As for the plug, it seemed Adrian had had his fun, as it either died or turned off as soon as Mark hopped into his car.
Adrian was waiting on the couch when Mark finally returned home, he heard the jangle of his husband's keys and he smiled as he turned his head to welcome his husband home, and was greeted with the sight of his husband without any clothes on.
“Whoa! I told you to take off your pants, not all your clothes…what happened to you?” Adrian said, intrigued, amused, and even a little turned on.
Mark took a deep breath as he moved to join his husband on the couch, the plug still inside his hole, and as he wrapped an arm around Adrian’s shoulder he finally exhaled and said: “It’s a long story.”
The End.
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the scent wafts in, her name making him beg on his knees chap 1.1
pairing: dabi / todoroki touya x fem!oc / reader (MODERN AU)
summary: He mentions her name after 6 months in therapy, absentmindedly narrating vivid memories of her. She was the only good thing during his darkest times.
(In which Touya returns home after rebelling against his family for 7 years. And no, it wasn't about forgiveness. He wanted to fix himself because of a certain someone.)
themes: nsfw, domestic abuse, violence, alcoholism, cigarette smoking, toxic relationships, mental health, co-dependency and other related themes (YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)
notes: for this one, pls keep in mind that touya didn't have much scars on his face; mostly are on his body to accomodate the plot; charas might be ooc since this is modern au
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Todoroki Touya has returned; it wasn't a drill.
The eldest of the Todoroki family has returned, and it was all over the news like wildfire. Pictures of him were around tabloids and newspapers, imprinted on TV screens along with family pictures of his 13-year-old self as news anchors and writers all over Japan broadcasted about the Endeavor Corp. finally having its original heir back to where he belonged. Two years ago, Todoroki Shouto announced he wouldn't be the one to replace his father, Todoroki Enji as the owner and CEO of their family business. However, Shouto focused on one part of the Endeavor Corp., particularly their sports and training business, as he wanted to become a personal trainer someday.
Touya was aware of what was happening on the business side of his family despite his rebellion seven years ago. After all, he saw them all over the news, watched his father on TV, and observed how everything was faring for them. So when he returned to the main house, he was a bit surprised at a few details he had missed. For one, his mother, Todoroki Rei, had already been discharged from the mental ward, faring well and welcoming him back with a big, warm hug and fat tears rolling down her cheeks. It also seemed that things were a lot better between his parents, but some of them still held reluctance to forgive their father.
Particularly him and Natsuo.
Enji was aware of their hatred towards him, hence he would talk to them politically, as Enji the CEO of the Endeavor Corp., not as their own father. Toya believed it was only fair. He would've resorted to violence if that wasn't the case. Speaking of which, that was another reason, he returned.
"I have to settle things between this family and me once and for all," he informed them on the first day of his return. "I need to talk to Father."
He knew what Enji would say to him. His father will apologize and be remorseful over what happened. He will also mention about him being his successor in the future, even though he was having none of it.
"I don't need that title anymore," Touya coldly argued, resisting the urge to punch him in the face as he knew he wouldn't defend himself after everything he had done to them since they were kids. "Not from you, specifically."
Enji understood. Touya meant, "I will have that title by my own hands, not because you passed it to me cheap because Shouto didn't want it anymore." Afterwards, his father explained everything he was required to do before his first day in the company. He also mentioned something along the lines of, "You need to undergo rehab and therapy for a while. I knew what you have been up to these past seven years with your cigarette addiction and alcoholism."
Before, Touya would violently react, would be against his decision and say, "You're just scared because I might surpass you." Now, he just nodded at his direction much to Enji's surprise.
"Why are you so shocked? You think I will half-ass my return to this family?" Toya questioned, slightly mocking him.
"I know you wouldn't," Enji commented.
And before Toya left his office, he added: "Just so you know, I am not doing this for the family."
Enji raised a questioning brow.
"I'm doing this because of a certain someone."
------
The first few months of Touya's rehab and therapy were tough as shit, gnawing at him like sharps and digging his soul like he was trapped in darkness. He felt overwhelmed by everything, talking about his feelings all day, breaking out of his shell, and slightly wanting to just break things and be alone. Touya craved darkness at some point, the urge to be violent creeping on his shoulder like the devil even though a rational part of him warned him that it would not be the best choice. He wanted to destroy himself at this point, missing the familiar pain his piercings left on his ears and nose. He was breathing hard to calm himself, persuading his brain to shut its damn trap.
It's getting annoying, fucking shit. Everything's been chaotic.
The first few days were blank, spending it staring at mindless paintings and counting how many times the water from the faucet dropped in the sink. It was eerie yet relaxing, the silence enveloping him like a plague until it bit back to tell him how much madness he needed to unleash but couldn't. He secretly had his mp3 player in his pocket, and he would watch the door and the shadow underneath, checking if someone would come in. To this day, he still couldn't take it out.
He missed that damn voice, but he needed to be patient. He shouldn't miss her. He shouldn't think about her. This is nothing, he convinced himself. This is nothing compared to all the abuse I've endured before. The angry stare. The hateful remarks. The violent beatings. The disapproval underlying Enji's tone. His rough hand smacking him in the face. The burning scars left on his skin from the heating iron. The pitiful stares. The blood he spat from his mouth.
Everything.
EVERYTHING.
I WANNA DIE.
Out of panic, he quickly reached for the mp3 player from his pocket, a secret he kept from the treatment center. He wasn't supposed to have any gadgets with him, but he knew he had to. He couldn't drink alcohol. He couldn't smoke a stick to curb this annoying feeling. He cannot destroy shit. But he had to hear that soothing voice. He had to endure.
He put in the earbuds and played the audio, his breathing coming down in sighs as he felt himself relaxing.
"Touya..."
"Yes, call me that," he said to no one, tears streaming down as he smiled in satisfaction.
"Touya..."
"Touya..."
"Are you awake?"
"I made you breakfast."
"Touya..."
"Do you want me to take an off day from work?"
"Yes," he answered, hugging the pillow beside him and imagining it was her. "Just stay. Stay with me."
"Touya..."
"I love you..."
"Touya..."
I love you too.
------
Touya has learned something, and that therapy was another form of circle from hell, or that was just him. He heard people preach about therapy all the time, that undergoing therapy healed them, made them see the light at the end of the tunnel, and had them humbled in a way they could never explain. Touya wished it was the same for him, but nah. It wasn't. Therapy was another circle from hell. It made him too vulnerable, too open he could feel the burnt scars on his skin itching too much the more the therapist asked him about himself.
He also thought his therapist couldn't care less about his minimal responses, the first few days boring him as the man asked about his name, how old he was, what he did for a living after he ran away, what helped him cope—you know, the basic questions every therapist could ask for.
"Todoroki Touya. 26. I did odd jobs. Alcohol. Cigarettes. Fighting."
The therapist looked displeased, he noted. He probably wanted more answers than that.
"Have you been in therapy before?"
"No."
"What do you expect from this session?"
"I don't know."
"Why are you seeking therapy?"
If he was being honest, Touya's answer would be: "I don't know? Just to get this shit done, I guess?" Not like he would be rude now. After all, he returned as Todoroki Touya after seven years of rebelling. He should keep his damn trap if he wanted them all back.
Even her.
"Do you want to become a better person?"
"Yes."
next chap
masterlist
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ghouldtime · 3 days
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A small drabble based on this post https://www.tumblr.com/ghouldtime/762071216041426944/who-was-going-to-tell-me-that-captain-john-price?source=share
The flames flickering atop the small, chocolate birthday cake plopped square on Captain John Price's would've made for a picture perfect commemorative scene and a heartwarming gesture, if it weren't for two glaring things.
It wasn't his birthday
The two waxy numbers that stood in the middle said 55
John Price was a man of many things and facets held underneath his Captain title: A top SAS Agent, a decorated hero who had more enough ribbons and metals to fill a wall, a driven man and leader who earned his rank tooth and nail, a man who displayed that title and his accomplishments proudly. What he most certainly was not was 55.
The smatterings of a few silver hairs woven into his brown locks surely weren't that bad.
"MacTavish." He spoke as he shifted back into the leather desk chair, the well-worn bearing creaking in protest.
The sergeant's congratulatory smile shifted into a confused furrow of his brows and a small frown as he reluctantly shifted forwards. The lack of his callsign or even his first name immediately had the younger man on edge, listening to his captain.
"Aye, sir?" He spoke, his brows lowered further as he wracked his brain to figure out what he did wrong.
Captain Price's gaze found his for a long, few moments as he remained silent. The steady tick-tick-tick of the old clock mounted to the wall cut through the otherwise pressing silence that spoke louder than any yelling ever could have.
Folding his hands over his lap, he regarded him with a blank expression. His attention briefly flickered over to Gaz who stood right behind him, the slight confusion if not innocence to this deed mirrored Soap's expression.
"Is that how old you think I am?"
Soap blinked once, twice, and then seemed even more confused. The perpetuality of being a FNG (Fucking New Guy) hasn't waned over the months, apparently. He still very clearly had much left to learn.
"Well, that's what Ghost said." He answered almost meekly after a few seconds, the thick brogue that lilted his words seeming even thicker, trying drastically to avoid any answer that could end up with him scrubbing the bathroom floors with a toothbrush yet again.
Go figure, that sardonic bastard.
He should've expected it. No one else could've thoroughly convinced them that he was ready for the retirement home with a straight face like Ghost.
A sigh escaped his lips as he brought a weathered hand up to his face, running it down until it rested on his bearded chin. Covering his mouth, he stared at the flickering candles that mockingly stood, melting more and more into the cake as their form slowly ebbed away.
Serves them right, those infernal waxy devils didn't deserve to exist in his presence.
He didn't want to think about those numbers existing for quite a few more years - if he was lucky enough to even make it to then.
Blowing out the candles without much fanfare, he plucked them off and placed them to the side. He'd carve them into a 38 later and stuff them under the lieutenants pillow, full of frosting and all.
They're lucky that today he felt nice enough save the gentle lecture about not believing Ghost, no matter how serious he sounded, when it came to things like this later. For now, the pressing matter of getting rid of the cake stood at higher priority.
But before he could pick up a fork and knife, he took up a pen and wrote in his personal agenda.
Note to self: convince everyone that Ghost is 56.
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nobigsecrets · 2 days
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(I Don't Believe) It's That Simple
Fandom: 9-1-1 Relationship: Eddie Diaz & Tommy Kinard Rating: T Words: 2,478
But this? Is coming from a different place. It's also clearly running deeper than random curiosity, it's something that Eddie has already put some thought into—and something dawns on Tommy. Is Eddie questioning?
"Hey, Eddie," Tommy says, as softly as he can manage to pull Eddie back out of his head. "Where's this coming from? You think you might be... not straight?"
Or: Eddie and Tommy are having a conversation.
Read on AO3
"So, how did you know?" Eddie asks, apropos of nothing.
Tommy's brow furrows as he's trying to make sense of the question. They're sitting in Eddie's living room, after they'd first played basketball and then watched basketball on TV while eating takeout and having a couple of beers. The game has long since ended though and they've been silently nursing their latest round of beers for the past few minutes. He tries to recall what they were talking about last. A call the 118 had taken a few days ago, he remembers, Evan had had to rappel down a bridge and it had been stupidly risky. But apparently Eddie's thoughts had taken some turns Tommy can't quite follow—
"How did I know what?"
"Buck told me—" Eddie starts, then has to put his words into the right order before he continues. "He said he knew he was bi the moment you kissed him. Like you handed him a puzzle piece and he immediately knew where it was supposed to go." Eddie takes a swig of his beer and turns around so he can better look at Tommy, who's sitting at the other end of the couch. "So I wondered, how did you know?"
"Mmh," Tommy says and then asks back, "how did I know Evan is bi? Or how did I know I'm gay?" It's been too many beers over the course of the evening and he can't quite read if Eddie's sudden interest is sparked out of random curiosity—or something else.
"Oh, uhm," Eddie says, somewhat unintelligible and clearly the beers have left an impact on him, too. "Well, both. I think. What I meant is how did you know you're not straight?"
"I always knew," Tommy readily admits, marveling at how easy it sounds when in reality it had been anything but. So for accuracy he adds, "but for the longest time I pretended that I didn't."
Eddie makes a confused face for a moment. "So you, uh, dated women? Like, before—?”
"Yes, I did hook up with women," Tommy admits and sighs, he's not exactly proud of his past. "It was before I came out to myself. I lied to them and I lied to myself, pretended it was what I wanted even though it never felt right."
Tommy knows it was a shitty thing to do. He now also knows it was driven by self-preservation for the most part and therefore explainable. Not excusable, his mind adds automatically. But his therapist had been adamant about driving that point home, that there were reasons for why he did what he did, that he shouldn't blindly take all the blame for it on himself.
Eddie nods like he understands. It takes a moment before he comes out with the next question. "And did you ever have a girlfriend? Like, something long-term?"
"No, not really," Tommy says, "only ever a few months before I broke it off." And that's one thing the Army offered that he's actually still grateful for. Being on duty, getting deployed, it was an easy excuse to get out of anything that came close to being called a relationship. "The longest I've been with a girl was through basic training and a few months after that. Maybe half a year? I couldn't do it, it was—“
Tommy breaks off, looking for a way to explain how stifling it had felt but he doesn't need to bother because Eddie offers, "It was like performing a role and you played it because it was expected of you."
"Yeah!" Tommy agrees, surprised by how precisely Eddie's words hit the mark.
Eddie murmurs something that Tommy doesn't quite catch but that sounds a lot like "go figure" and now Tommy takes a closer look. Eddie looks tired, but he's looked like that ever since Chris left. It's the actual reason why Tommy is sitting on Eddie's couch this late at night. But Eddie also looks anxious. He's worrying at the label on his empty beer bottle with his thumbnail, peeling off the paper in tiny pieces.
Tommy knows Eddie has started therapy. He knows—via Evan—that Eddie thinks it might be helping. But this? Is coming from a different place. It's also clearly running deeper than random curiosity, it's something that Eddie has already put some thought into—and something dawns on Tommy. Is Eddie questioning?
"Hey, Eddie," Tommy says, as softly as he can manage to pull Eddie back out of his head. "Where's this coming from? You think you might be... not straight?"
Eddie takes a deep breath. He puts the empty bottle on the side table. "I don't know, man," he says, looking over at Tommy before running both hands over his face. When he looks back up, he seems more determined.
"I did a full Buck the other day," he says and a small, affectionate grin briefly flashes over his face. "I overheard something Hen said to Buck and I didn't want to butt into their conversation, so I went and looked it up on Wikipedia. And then I read the whole article on bisexuality. And then I found out about all the other sexual identities I didn't even know existed."
Eddie shoots a quick look at Tommy, hesitant and vulnerable. Tommy can clearly see he's heading somewhere, that there's something that’s s been stewing in him, something he needs to get out and Tommy waits him out patiently.
"I read all kinds of stuff, you know, and I read about—" Eddie continues and now he's taking a deep breath, bracing himself for the part that he actually wants to share. "Did you know you can be sexually attracted to someone but not romantically? Or the other way around or not at all?"
"That's—“ Tommy says and wrecks his brain. He can vaguely remember someone explaining this at a meetup of the queer LAFD group he sometimes joins. Split-attraction... something, he thinks. It's not what he'd expected Eddie to say if he's being honest.
"It's got something to do with asexuality, right?" Tommy shifts his position from where he's lounging in the corner of the couch, turning more towards Eddie and scooting a little closer.
Eddie looks relieved that Tommy apparently knows what he's talking about. "Yeah, that," he confirms. "It said on the web that you can be asexual or aromantic or a mix of both—it's a spectrum, evidently."
"And you think you're somewhere on that spectrum?" Tommy asks in a way he hopes is reassuring as much as encouraging.
"Yes. No. I don't know. But man, it kinda makes sense to me." Eddie says and the way he's torn up about this, the doubt Tommy can hear in his voice, it sounds painfully familiar.
"I mean, I do like having sex. Seeing a beautiful woman, it works for me, you know. But I suck at relationships, it's like... like I said, a performance. Always has, even with—" Eddie stops abruptly, biting his lip. He looks away for a second before he catches himself.
"I once had an actual panic attack over being stuck in a relationship, did Buck ever tell you that?"
"He did not," Tommy says with a small shake of his head. He's got to fight back his curiosity because it sounds like that's a story he'd like to hear about someday. But he sure as hell won't ask for more than what Eddie is willing to share right now.
When he'd picked up things with Evan again after their first failed date, Tommy had promised himself to go slow, to do right by Evan in a way no one had ever done right by him. But then it turned out Evan neither needed to go slow nor to be handled with care and they'd been able to set their pace together. It had been a pleasant surprise after their initial bumpy start.
With Eddie though, Tommy recognizes the same hesitation, the same kind of uncertainty, the same fear of failing to meet other people's expectations—or his own expectations for that matter—that had plagued himself for so many years. He's glad, and honored, that Eddie asked him about it. Tommy thinks that if he'd had someone back then, someone he could've trusted, he might have come to terms with being gay so much earlier. But the first openly queer person he'd ever met, or at least had come into closer contact with had been Hen—and by that point he'd dug himself so deep into the closet that he barely remembered there was a way out. He doesn't want anyone to go through the same pain, not if he can help it—
"How can I be sure that I'm not just confused?" Eddie asks now, taking Tommy's momentary silence as encouragement to go on. "Like, how do I know it’s because I’m... aromantic and not just because I’m crap at relationships? I mean, maybe I'm just a shitty partner.” Eddie stumbles a bit over the word; like it's a pair of pants that's one size too big and doesn't fit quite yet.
"Well first of all, I don't think you'd be a shitty partner because I know for a fact that you're a great and loyal friend," Tommy says and he's glad to get a small—if pretty self-conscious—smile in response. "But to answer your question about how you know—you basically just said it yourself: it makes sense to you. That's all that matters."
"That's all that matters?" Eddie repeats, eyebrows raised and oozing skepticism. "I don't believe it's that simple."
"It really is that simple." It's a fact Tommy's had to learn the hard way but it's something he now believes in one hundred percent. "You are the only who knows how you feel. What works for you, as you put it. No one else can tell you that. So no one else gets to decide. If there's a label that makes sense to you, if you feel comfortable with it, claim it."
Tommy can almost see the gears turning inside Eddie's head as he's thinking things over. He waits him out patiently and reaches for the beer bottle he deposited on the coffee table earlier. Coffee would probably be a better fitted drink for this conversation, he thinks as he takes a drink of the lukewarm beer.
"The idea— well, the possibility of just not wanting a romantic relationship with someone, it... it felt like a relief," Eddie admits. "I don't like going on dates. It feels all staged and, I don't know, fake. Most of the time. I'd rather be hanging as friends, you know. Like with Buck, with you guys." Eddie gestures towards Tommy, apparently wanting him to know he's included. It's sweet.
"But then I think a family is everything I ever wanted. Being married, having kids, the way it's supposed to be. I never pictured my life any other way. And I think of Chris—and it all feels incredibly selfish."
"And did you ever give yourself the time and space to picture your life any other way?" Tommy asks and carefully places his still half-full beer bottle back onto the coffee table, very much aware that his next question is a delicate one. "Chris' mom, she was your high school sweetheart, right?"
Eddie looks up sharply and Tommy is ready to apologize and take a step back, he knows the woman has left a sore mark behind, but then Eddie's face softens and he nods in agreement.
"Shannon," Eddie says. "Yes, she was. And we had Chris when we were 19. We didn't have much of a choice back then. At least it didn't feel like we did."
"Yeah, I can imagine," Tommy says and he means it. He remembers being that age, being pressured into making decisions that will affect your whole life—while being offered no real prospects of a future. "That's why sometimes we adopt what people expect us to do as our own expectations.
"Look, when I was growing up and through my time in the Army, I told myself I couldn't be gay—because I'm not interested in... I don't know, arts or fashion or fancy shit like that. I like typical guy stuff, always have. Engines and sports and fighting. I didn't fit any of the clichés about gay men. So I fell between places. I wasn't straight in the way people expected me to be and I wasn't gay in the way people expected gay men to be. It took me years to figure that one out. It takes time, Eddie."
"Yes, I guess that's something I need to untangle," Eddie says. "Shannon and I, we fucked up. And then I tried to do right by her by marrying her. Plus it was the only way I knew how to appease to my parents. And I... I always tried to tell myself it was what we would've done anyway. But now I don't think it was what either of us really wanted at the time." He sighs and rubs a hand over his face and hair, but now the gesture is more thoughtful than anxious. Eventually, a small grin steals itself on Eddie's face, "See? It's not that simple after all."
"Alright, I relent. It can be messy until you get there," Tommy says, glad to see a tiny challenging glint back in Eddie's eyes. "But once you stop lying to yourself, once you stop trying to be who other people want you to be, it really is that simple."
"I'll take your word for it!" Eddie scoots forward on the couch and reaches for his beer bottle, pulling a face at finding it empty. It's a clear signal that he's done talking for now.
"Let me know how it goes," Tommy says and then finishes his own beer in a few gulps.
"You want another one?" Eddie gets up from couch and starts to collect the empty bottles.
"No, I'm good," Tommy says, getting up from the couch, too. "I should get going anyway. It's late." He takes half of the bottles and helps Eddie carry them into the kitchen.
"Yeah, sure." Eddie puts the empty bottles on the counter and motions for Tommy to do the same.
"Tell Buck I said hi. And that I'm sorry for keeping you this long," he says as they're walking back into the living room and towards the front door.
"I'm sure he won't mind." Tommy stops with his hand on the door handle, "but just so you know: I won't tell him what we were talking about. That's your job. If and when you're ready."
"Understood," Eddie agrees and then pulls Tommy into a quick hug, patting his shoulder twice for good measure. "Thanks for listening, man."
"Sure," Tommy says with a smile. "Thanks for trusting me with this."
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tardis--dreams · 5 months
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On a scale from 1 to 10 how weird would it be to write a little thank you/goodbye card to a colleague you really like where you'd tell him you learned a lot from him and appreciate his support and had fun working with him? It's a 10, isn't it.
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vaciena · 2 months
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I think it just hit me that I’m actually getting better
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