#this is really rambly and personal please don't take it the same way as my more serious discourse posts

[ftmtftm]

I'm having a lot of feelings tonight about the ways in which I was very explicitly raised in (radfem-y) feminist spaces and told "you can be whatever you want to be"... until I was a man. Until I saw beauty in masculinity. Until I thought being hairy and sweaty and having a low voice was something wonderful and desirable not just in a partner but in myself. Until I changed my pronouns and became a gender traitor despite nothing else about who I am as a person changing.

There's a weird kind of hurt growing up in a "progressive" home where it feels like your mother is gunning for you to be a lesbian like your butch cousin before you came out as a gender traitor but the second your sister comes out and says she's a dyke there's a problem because having two queer children can't be possible.

There's an awful kind of hurt continuing to pursue activism because I grew up on protest music I don't think my parents ever actually internalized. I think it's an autism thing for myself, really. Because it's something that feels hypocritical to me in a way I feel boils down to the way I conceptualize justice and morality, which I view very autistically. It lead me to wanting to pursue academic studies in sociology, to learn how systems of oppression work, to learn the language used to help people describe their experiences in the world and in turn learn about them. And then? I was shoved out. Because a gender traitor can't understand and if "he" does then she's really just doing this all for attention and she should really just admit she's actually still a young woman. She's just one of the girls and she should accept that. If "he" wants to be a "real man" why does "he" care so much? That's so... predatory. That's so unsafe to be around.

It's just. Sad. And I'm sad. My body didn't go away when I came out. My history didn't go away when I came out. I know that some people experience gender in a very separated way but fuck. I was a girl, and I was a man, and now they live together inside of me and I am both my past and my present. I know how I am most comfortable but my bones hold years of mistreatment based on the ways others forcibly gendered me on the basis of my physical sex. I am not cis passing in any capacity and I hold the ways I am still harmed by the forcible gendering of my body close to my chest. And I don't expect everyone else to feel that way about their own identity, that's just how I feel about my own sense of self. And I know some other people do feel similarly. And I just. Want To Have The Words For It.

I just want to have language that's been denied to me and others like myself. That's why I care about the term transandrophobia. Only those who seek to harm marginalized groups benefit from those groups not being able to speak for themselves by having a lack of language for their experiences.

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

ah well gosh hi???

in what i said was gonna be a one day break from, well, life tbh, i seemingly realized that i don't just have school coming SOON, but that i wasn't prepared to wake up at 2pm to find out i only have a few days left of total free time not spent struggling and stressing out over exams of all things

so like any average person i went and made plans with friends to hang out and get my mind off of everything- and while it was good while it lasted, i really wanted to be, yknow, clear

i have artworks at the ready, and if i ever become desperate enough to start getting a hang on drawing with a mouse all the time i might as well, but as things stand i really do not know what the heck i am doing-

i'll try my hardest to at least look for a way to fix the pen cause that's just the most important and expensive part of the damaged stuff, but i'm thinking the cable is perma-broke so i'll have to look for a way to replace it

to cut right to the chase: i have some art i can post. but i dunno when, if, or which to post because most of them have some context that i would've normally been all too eager to explain, but as things stand? man i don't think i could muster the energy to try

so? i dunno yall- i mean i could start writing again? i've entertained the idea long enough and this might be just the opportunity to finally get some practice without getting distracted by drawing :'D

i could do small stuff with a mouse if i feel like sharing some art, but the illustrations? i feel like i can only post those once i feel a bit more alive mentally and physically to interact with others without feeling so drained all the time (but knowing that school's coming, i can't really promise anything :'))

thanks a lot for the sweet words and patience guys- it means a lot that you won't immediately, idk, ditch this blog once you realize i might not post much if not at all (hopefully not gosh) for an undetermined amount of time? you really made me realize this wasn't as bad as my mind's been pushing me to think,

so trust me i WILL bounce back and reblog stuff and have entire essays in your tags eventually- i just need to stop feeling like it has to be today, or tomorrow, or any days afterwards, just that it will happen when i feel like it<3

[gglitch1dd]

Love is Blind

Midoriya Izuku x Fem!Reader

Original Idea from @koreluvsspring thank you so much love for letting me do this for Izuku.

Midoriya wasn't even sure how on earth he found himself on the reality dating show but at this point he wasn't even surprised. When your mother is nagging you to get married, you end up doing anything to please her (and maybe even prove to yourself that you can do it). So on a whim here he was.

When he had decided to put himself up as a contestant, it was no surprise that the show took him. When the new Number One hero of Japan says he wants to be part of your show, one does not just simply refuse.

However he had a few criterias when it came to his participation.

In no way shape or form are any of the female contestants going to know who he really is, his real name or hero name. He was fine with them advertising that a hero would be part of the show but nothing more.

No special treatment. He wanted to be treated like every other person on the show. Same amount of screen time, same opportunities, same punishments if need be.

So when Midoriya found himself in the mens section of the facility that was being filmed, he was nervous. The guys were great, some were great fans and others were overall standard people and it was nice getting to know them.

"I really don't know what to expect." Midoriya said as he sat on a chair speaking to the camera in one of his side interviews. "I wholeheartedly just came here with an open mind. If I find her, I find her and if I don't, I don't." He shrugged.

Admittedly he hoped this wouldn't be a waste of time. As much as he loved his job, loved his friends and loved how busy he was as the Number One hero and all the new perks it came with, he was also lonely.

It was a prospect he didn't like to think about since choosing to focus on his career but here he was.

Once the pods were open, Midoriya quickly gave himself the pseudonym Mighty (sorry All Might). He became a fan with some of the ladies but mostly because he could shut up and listen, the moment he started rambling however... then he didn't have many supporters.

But then he met you.

"What is your favourite dinosaur?"

Midoriya paused before chuckling at the question. He leaned back in his couch as he opened to a new section in his notebook. This was a voice he had never heard before. "That's a tough question." He told you honestly.

"You can tell a lot about a person by the type of dinosaur they like."

"Hm..." Midoriya had to think about this question long and hard. "I think Velociraptors."

"Ah so you're a Jurassic park fan."

He couldn't help but laugh. "I can't deny that I haven't watched the movies a couple times, but the movies depict them all wrong. Velociraptors were typically not higher than one and a half meters and had feathers too. They were less than 20kg in weight. Although they were bipedal predators and are said to have run at fast speeds due to their light weight and short stature, they really were not as vicious as they seemed in the movies, unless you were a prey animal of course. That would be pretty unfortunate. But I think an animal like a brachiosaurus could easily survive against small velociraptors. They'd have to be hundreds of them to take down those big guys and-" Midoriya stopped talking when he realised he had once again started rambling. He had probably scared you off. "Sorry I-"

"I agree. The movies do depict them wrong, but then again I don't think we can truly know the truth. Although you did mention my favourite leaf eating tall necks, the brachiosaurus so you get points for that." You spoke up chirply, having followed along with his words. "I'm L/N Y/N! It's nice to meet you!"

Midoriya paused and smiled, genuinely. "I'm Mid- Mighty." He caught himself there. He almost slipped up and gave you his real name. That was a close one. In due time. He let out a breath. "I'm Mighty."

"Hello Mighty." Midoriya could hear the smile on your face.

Since then, he couldn't stop thinking about you, nor could he stop talking to you. You were the first and only person he ever wanted to talk to while in the pods. He felt like a high schooler again, laughing with a soft blush on his face and having serious conversations with you almost as if he had known you for years.

"I mean yah, I try be as close to my parents a possible but sometimes it just... doesn't work out." He heard you say from the other side of the wall. "I'm pretty close to my younger sibling though. We have a lot of fun together, I miss them. What about you?"

Midoriya lay on his back on the couch, his hand stopped writing notes as he moved to look up. He took a moment. "Well it's always just been my mom and I. My dad was..." In jail as a mass terrorist and genocidal maniac who tried to kill him upon seeing him for the first time in 16 years. "Never really in the picture." He decided to say. "But my step dad and I are real close. He's a real nice guy."

"I'm glad you've got him in your life. You talk very highly about him."

"He's... he's given me more than I can ever express." He spoke softly.

"You're a hero right?"

He nodded his head with a hum. "Yep."

"Well... I think its mighty special that a hero is able to still appreciate the ones that brought him to where he is. I think that's mighty sweet." You said, making him smile at your words. Then he heard you giggle. "Hehe, see what I did there? 'Mighty'?"

Midoriya snorted.

He could talk to you about absolutely anything and the both of you seemed just so compatible. You both wanted the same future and had the same goals in life. When he thought of his future, now he saw you. It had just been a little under a week in the pods and he was sure.

It was a weird thing watching other guys come back and say how they proposed to the girl of their dreams they had never seen. But Midoriya could say that he understood.

He understood as he entered the pod in a button down and dress pants despite you not being able to see him. He understood when he crouched down on one knee and took a breath and said. "If there is one sure thing I know about this whole experience, it's you. I've... I've never felt so calm and so happy than when I'm with you. You gave me happiness and... and well... I wanted to ask you if you would marry me?"

You didn't answer immediately which had Midoriya a bit nervous (he was sweating through his shirt) but then he heard sniffs. You were crying. "Yes. Yes I will marry you."

Next thing he knew, he was standing behind the impending glowing doors that would lead to you. The woman he loved. He couldn't care how you looked. Honestly if you were a troll that lived under a bridge, he would follow you there too.

And when the doors opened and standing at the very end of the pathway, your doors opened to and he saw you. Midoriya's pupils blew out as he saw you.

Dear God, you were gorgeous.

Love truly was blind.

-Glitch1d

[astonmartinii]

i hope your finger’s ok!! please take all the time you need and remember you health comes first :) imma be selfish and send you a charles request cause ur writing makes me smile at my phone like an idiot and i can’t help it :p ok so!! charles x versteppen reader? shes max’s sister and drives for redbull (cause im delulu like that) and they’ve been fighting w each other since they were kids (no one knows why they started arguing they’re j petty and refuse to give it up even though they dk what they’re arguing abt anymore) and obvs they’re in love w each other - maybe another drivers flirting w her or smth and charles j snaps and hard launches the reader cause surprise they’ve been dating each other 🤭 holy shit this is long sorry for rambling 🙏🙏

angel baby, devil child | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x verstappen!reader

enemies to lovers blah blah blah

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 1,743,200 others

yourusername: crazy, crazy race. sorry not sorry to the tifosi, tell ur girl @charles_leclerc to kiss my ass not my rear tyre xoxo

view all comments

user1: okay they're clearly still in the enemies phase... when can we skip to lovers

user2: i personally love that charles is the mortal enemy of both verstappen siblings that's so slay of him

maxverstappen1: crop me out again and say goodbye to a tow in qualifying

yourusername: sorry maxy, not my fault i got all the photogenic genes xx

maxverstappen1: erm rude @christianhorner tell her to stop bullying me

yourusername: two can play at that game @sebastianvettel tell max to stop being a baby

user3: the way neither christian or seb replied they really don't get paid enough to deal with them

charles_leclerc: what is it with verstappens and their love for pushing me off the track

yourusername: what is it with your front wing and my rear tyre

charles_leclerc: umm i asked you first

yourusername: stop deflecting babe, we all know you love my ass so much you wanted a touch

charles_leclerc: i'd rather deep fry my hands than touch your rear

maxverstappen1: that can be arranged

user4: can't wait for these three to all be in the same press conference next week 🍿

carlossainz55: my favourite person to share the podium with

yourusername: thanks chilli (@tifosi you heard it here sainz is against ferrari 1-2s)

carlossainz55: NO that's not what i meant

landonorris: i see how it is ... god all men are the same AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU?

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,204,809 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: happy birthday to my bestest friend, biggest rival and favourite roommate. though maybe now you're 23 you can get your own place so you can sneak out to meet up with your secret boyfriend on your own terms and can keep that massive ballsack away from jimmy and sassy. i love you and verstappen dominance 4 ever.

view all comments

user7: i love y/n but i think she should bring her cat to races as a scare tactic

yourusername: wrinkle doesn't appreciate your tone but it is duly noted

yourusername: awwwwwwwww i love you maxy !! and you're never getting rid of your little sister unless you get married and ur a big fat nerd so that's never happening xx

maxverstappen1: attacking me after i just bought you a whole ass car

yourusername: i JOKE. thank you soooo much and you'll never get rid of me you love me too much to anyway.

maxverstappen1: enough to finally introduce me to the mystery man?

yourusername: blocked.

user8: are we all just ignoring her doing her literal eyeliner with a knife?

user9: or the fact that max likely walked in and was like oh wait this is a sick shot

danielricciardo: oh no that was me, i'm still traumatised but it's probably the best photo i've ever taken

yourusername: easy to do with a model like me

charles_leclerc: wtf is that thing in the last one

yourusername: rude of you to think ur balls look any nicer

charles_leclerc: what?

yourusername: what?

user10: does anyone want to elaborate?

carlossainz55: happy birthday y/n !

yourusername: thanks carlos, thank you for the flowers 👍

user11: this is either their way of flirting or y/n really couldn't give a flying fuck about carlos' obvious crush on her

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,098,560 others

yourusername: another trip around the sun and still following my brother around, difference is now i beat him x

view all comments

user16: your honour i am so obsessed with her

maxverstappen1: can't even be angry about it, you deserve the world

yourusername: you softy, i love you

maxverstappen1: also dummy i know who your boyfriend is now did you guys forget that we LITERALLY LIVE TOGETHER

yourusername: i was intoxicated my bad but we bought you breakfast?

maxverstappen1: literally the only reason he hasn't gone over the balcony, he might want to be gone before this hangover wears off

yourusername: noted.

user17: yall want to share with the class?

user18: based on ^^ this reaction i'm going to say it's not carlos

user19: watch out he'll drop a shit pick-up line in a second and be rejected

carlossainz55: hope you enjoyed your birthday beautiful

user20: bro this guy STINKS

user19: i told yall

yourusername: thank you carlos

user21: i'm sorry this is dry as hell it can't be carlos

charles_leclerc: my shoes will never recover, i'll be sending an invoice your way

yourusername: you're a millionaire boo, you can replace those tacky white trainers yourself

charles_leclerc: is having no manners a verstappen trait?

yourusername: come for max all you want, but the birthday girl? low leclerc

charles_leclerc: when you go low i go lower

yourusername: oh believe me i know all about you and going down

user22: DO YALL MIND?

user23: do they think we're dumb?

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, lancestroll and 1,204,674 others

charles_leclerc: a weekend without racing?

view all comments

user24: what is biden doing about the soft launch pandemic?

user25: well this is oddly timed ...

yourusername: you look like you'd have sweaty hands

charles_leclerc: wouldn't you like to know

yourusername: unlike all ur fangirls i've actually smelt you sweaty after a race so you can keep your hands to yourself

maxverstappen1: you heard her 🤨

charles_leclerc: why are you here? is this a 2 for 1 deal on annoying dutch people

yourusername: you can call him annoying all you want, but you love me don't lie

charles_leclerc: my lawyer says i shouldn't comment on that ;)

sebastianvettel: when will you two stop?

yourusername: sorry seb :(

charles_leclerc: sorry seb :(

user26: i know carlos is sick reading this weird flirting when y/n never comments on his pics

user27: she comes here just to flirt cause she didn't even like the photo

user28: she doesn't even follow him 😭

pierregasly: i love a slow burn as much as the next person BUT NOT WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS PICK UP THE PHONE

charles_leclerc: you're so dramatic, nobody knows calmar

maxverstappen1: he's lying i do

pierregasly: WHAT

charles_leclerc: by ACCIDENT i didn't tell him by choice

user29: so like, it's definitely y/n LOL

user30: oh no everyone get ready marca is going to run a story tomorrow about how charles leclerc is ruining carlos' career with psychological warfare by flirting with the girl he likes

user31: sainz sr about to wage war lol

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,304,889 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: i don't share. i love you. please follow me on instagram now (and let me come on max's jet) x

view all comments

user35: HOLY FUCK

user36: they're so fucking sexy my lord

yourusername: you're so weak, one teammate flirts with me and you hard launch, i've had 12 year olds use me as a face claim to pretend they're pregnant with your child

charles_leclerc: they took your face? i happen to quite like it, can they give it back?

yourusername: quite?

charles_leclerc: don't make me look bad you know i positively LOVE YOUR FACE

yourusername: and my ass since it's all you look at on track

charles_leclerc: okay you can drop the act now people know we're in love stop being mean to me :(

yourusername: but it's true, no?

charles_leclerc: rest assured i love your actual ass much more

maxverstappen1: believe me the people she lives with know WAY too much about how much you love it

user37: carlos sainz really thought he had a chance when these fools have been together for TWO years

sebastianvettel: congratulations you two, glad we don't have to watch you two trying to be subtle now

maxverstappen1: so wait when did you find out?

sebastianvettel: about two weeks into the relationship, they were very obvious

yourusername: thank you for keeping our secret dad <3

user38: y/n really said you ARE my grid dad

yourusername: oh no that's my actual dad

charles_leclerc: he's literally going to walk y/n down the aisle

maxverstappen1: please don't tell me you're engaged? i only just got over you actually being together

charles_leclerc: i'm not your brother yet don't worry (i will be soon)

carlossainz55: congrats guys

user39: it's okay bro you can cry

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,301,541 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: two years with the love of my life, still on max's side on val d'argenton x

view all comments

user40: they're disgusting (when will it happen to me)

charles_leclerc: we'll have to agree to disagree

yourusername: just admit it you love to push verstappens off the track

charles_leclerc: sorry babe as much as i love you, i'll never let you win x

yourusername: good thing i always beat you then x

charles_leclerc: either way victory sex still bangs

user41: yes, yes they're cute, but i need a full on play-by-play of how this relationship came to be

user42: i know these menaces were giggling and kicking their feet every time they had an argument in comment sections

yourusername: oh it was very fun

charles_leclerc: but the radio messaged are 100% real lol

maxverstappen1: thanks for having my back, you're welcome for all the gross pictures i've taken for you guys

yourusername: consider your payment like every meal i make us

maxverstappen1: well if i did it f1 would be down three drivers

user43: wait so does charles basically live with them now?

maxverstappen1: unfortunately yes. depressing music, even worse cooking than me and horrendously loud sex with my sister. i should kick him out

charles_leclerc: i literally bought you noise-cancelling headphones?

maxverstappen1: nothing you can say will save me from this trauma

yourusername: just shag daniel and get off of our case x

note: ahhhhh i am so sorry this request took so long, my inbox keeps moving stuff around lol. my finger is good thanks for asking, the human body is a wonder and i peeled off the last of my scab this week lol. i hope this was the kinda thing you were looking for !! xx

[rainforest-daisies]

Day 11|virginity loss

Character: Peter Parker x afab!reader

Tags: smut, virgin!peter, sub!peter, PIV,

A/n: I fully re-entered my marvel era again for like two hours while making this….

Kinktober masterlist

“Uhm- I don't really know what to do now…” his hands grasped your hips against his stiff body, a special something poking at your thigh, alerting you of the issue that had sprung up during your make-out session. His mind raced with thoughts, he had never gotten this far with a girl, let alone one of the prettiest ones he had ever met.

Your legs continued to straddle him, his hands on your hips keeping you in place, as you listened to Peter's mumbled rambles, “What do you want me to do? I-i can leave if you want…I mean it's my apartment, but-” Eventually, he ran out of words, gazing into your eyes in silence. An awkward chuckle left his lips, not knowing how to continue his sentence.

“Peter, are you a virgin?” Your words hit him like a semi-truck, yet, he stuttered out an answer, shocked over your blatancy, “Y-yes- well- um- yeah. I'm a virgin.” his fingers fondled the hem of your sweater, a blush tinting his cheeks as if your words had slapped him in the face. “Can I touch you again?” your words soothed the worry in his mind, the worry that you found him lame, or weird, for being a virgin. “Yes!” he cringed at the eagerness in his voice, repeating himself with a calmer tone, “Yeah, yeah.” he shrugged, smiling at the grin formed on your face.

Your hands met his chest at the same time your lips to his, Peter's slim hands rising under the back of your shirt as he felt the soft flesh that adorned you. His face pulled away from yours, causing confusion to infiltrate your mind, but upon opening your eyes, you saw the small smile hanging from his lips again. “I'm actually about to have sex…” his posture suddenly straightened, “I mean, in like a really cool, not nervous kind of way.” a chuckle left his lips at the sarcasm, relaxing himself in your arms again.

His lips pushed against yours again, catching yourself off guard, and taking it as a moment to savor. He couldn't believe that you chose him to touch you, to please you, his mind was clouded with bewilderment, but with each passing second, the belief grew stronger in his head that this isn't a wet dream. with your exploring hands in control, his sweatpants were quick to be discarded, thrown across his wooden desk chair. His t-shirt followed suit.

Your eyes trailed down his body, admiring the lean muscles in his arms, the small freckles atop his strong abs, and the ever-growing bulge in his boxers, and back up at his face, admiring your expressions. “This is unfair. I'm almost naked and…and you're still fully clothed.” in his mind, it was a pathetic excuse to see more of you, the hormonal sex drive that had been making him go crazy was influencing his mind, but hell did it work.

His jaw seemed to be permanently slack as soon as you took your top off, figuratively, and possibly literally, drooling over the sight of your tits. “Wow. I mean, wow.” his mind was malfunctioning. he could barely form words, all the blood in his body was either rushing to his cheeks, or his bulge.

He had seen this moment in porn, read it in books that were snagged from the library, heard about it from guys talking way too loudly in the cafeteria, but in person, in front of him in real-time, he was short-circuiting. In a dazed state, his mouth pressed kisses against your chest, moving your hips against his, practically grinding you against him.

Your voice brought him back to reality, pulling away from your chest, “Say that again?” his doe eyes looked up at you as if you were a goddess. in his eyes, you were one.

“Are you ready? you're getting awfully needy.” his hand reached the back of your neck, smashing your face against his, passionately kissing you. “Shit- shit. I forgot to grab a condom. let me get up.” your body hesitantly pulls away, watching as he stumbles off his bed and across his room to his desk, rummaging through an old box, with a condom stuffed in the bottom of it. “Health class last month really paid off, huh.” looking down at the foil package, he chuckles, but when he looked back up, he had seen you discarded your pants and underwear as he was looking in the box.

Soon, his body was on top of yours, holding his figure up with one hand, holding your face with the other. “Can…I put it on you? the condom?” your words make him shudder, and nod quickly. As your hand slid against his length, unrolling the condom on him, a loud, uncontrollable moan left his parted lips.

“Wait…I read about a guy doing something once,” his hand from your face lifted to his mouth, spitting into his palm and rubbing it against your core, paying extra attention to your clit, “and apparently it's hot…so…”

Your hand gently grasped his lenth, and helped guide him inside, his face scrunched at the warmth of your cunt, a loud whimper threatening to be released any second. shit, he was close already. He had been inside of you for less than a minute, and he was already close.

It wasn't long before he could feel himself throbbing, trying to hold himself back for as long as possible, yet, when he heard the sweetest noise that had ever graced his ears come out of your mouth, he was already filling up the condom. With pants and breaths coming from his mouth, forehead rested atop yours, he pulled out with a whine of sensitivity, and his body began dragging itself down your body, pressing feather-light pecks across your skin as he did so.

“C’mere, baby. I wanna make you cum too.”

[squishytenya]

Hey Do you remeber your Tenya and Aizawa ask, with y/n Crying? What about some of the other casts like Katsuki or Ejiro?

if you dont mind please and thank you

They Make You Cry Headcanons

I lowkey had to search my own blog for this but I found it! thanks for the request <3

Pairings - Bakugou x gn!reader, Kirishima x gn!reader + Kaminari x gn!reader

Warnings - arguments, cursing, crying

Katsuki Bakugou

▹part of being in a relationship with Katsuki is dealing with his harsh personality. Even if he does calm down the older he gets, it's still probably not to the same extent of a normal human being.

▹he probably would be completely speechless the moment you started crying after an argument - straight up would not know how to respond to that.

▹his eyes would go wide and he would go to take a step towards you and then bring himself back, holding his arm to himself.

▹"hey... don't do that"

▹for all his faults Katsuki is, deep inside, a good person and he knows this is the kind of shit you lose relationships from and he really really doesn't want to lose you.

▹ but he does know he can be a bit much and he probably takes a while to come down from whatever he's feeling so he just kinda leaves for a few minutes

▹ he comes back with a cup of tea and perches gently on the bed next to you, avoiding eye contact

▹he would do his best to spit out an apology, but it's not something that would come naturally to him. Seeing your face crumple like it did is still replaying in his mind and he knows he has to fix this somehow - so he does his best to explain himself

▹eventually he would just stop rambling and take your hand in his, squeezing it gently.

▹"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you"

▹ he'd just sit by you, hand in his until you were ready to talk to him and talk over what had led to the argument in the first place and he really does take your words to heart about what upset you

▹he'd try to cut down on raising his voice and try to cut out teasing nicknames entirely, unless he knew you were okay with them already

▹a sweet guy really

Eijirou Kirishima

▹I cannot see Kiri upsetting you on purpose, even during an argument he isn't the type to yell or get super angry with you

▹him making you cry is most likely a complete accident on his part, or even him accidentally playing into an insecurity you have without properly thinking about it

▹when your relationship first started out, I think he probably didn't understand you might not be comfortable with the things he's comfortable with, especially during social situations

▹ also probably doesn't understand others might read his kindness as flirting, so when you two are invited to a hero party to socialise and he pretty much ignored you the whole night, he had no idea why you began tearing up on the way home

▹obviously, he's worried about why you're crying and what he did! and how he can fix it is at the forefront of his mind almost immediately after noticing

▹and when you explain it to him, he pretty much crumbles straight away - he is in disbelief that he made you feel that way

▹he falls over himself explaining that he didn't mean to make you feel that way, he was just overwhelmed by the pressure of hero society and got caught up

▹Kiri is very good at admitting when he is wrong, and puts a lot of effort into having healthy communication in his relationships - platonic or otherwise

▹pulls over the car literally just so he can hold both of your hands in his and make eye contact as he explains his actions, specifically so you understand he's being genuine

▹"I'd never do that to you on purpose, you're the most important person to me"

▹after your sniffles have subsided, he pulls you into a hug and promises never to do something like that again - and you bet he keeps his promise!!!

▹takes you to get food too, just as an extra apology and you sit in the car park eating ice cream together - he makes sure you're the center of his attention the entire time <3

Denki Kaminari

▹oh he's so stupid. he's so lovely, but so, so stupid.

▹honestly he probably says something insanely embarrassing in front of your friends and pays no attention to how that might make you feel, especially if you're close to these people

▹doesn't even notice when the room goes completely silent and nobody is talking but him, it takes one of his friends clearing their throat for him to notice your eyes filling with tears

▹in his defense, he does try to explain himself straight away and takes you into another room to have the conversation (at the very least) but it takes a little bit more explaining to him why his actions would upset you

▹doesn't really get it at first but you explaining, and your face as you cry, makes his heart hurt and he tries to rectify his actions as soon as he can

▹the first thing he thinks to do in that moment is bundle you up in his arms and rock the both of you back and forth to calm you down, which works a little more than you'd like to admit

▹runs his hands over your back, up and down, until your breathing evens out - does not give a shit about anyone outside of you two in that moment

▹once you've stopped crying, full on apology - hands and knees!

▹he seems genuinely heartbroken to have embarrassed you and takes full responsibility for what he did

▹ kicks everyone else out of the house and spends the rest of the evening making it up to you and reminding you of how important you are to him and just how sorry he is

I hope these were good! I haven't written in ages so this'll be the first comeback headcanons, hope you guys enjoyed it <3

[adriennebarnes]

Move to Miami

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina! Reader

Summary: after the Miami Grand Prix, Charles meets a wonderful woman that would make him consider moving to the states

Warning: the usual spelling and grammatical errors, this is based off "Move to Miami" by Enrique Iglesias featuring Pitbull

A/N: LANDO WON THE MIAMI GRAND PRIX!!!!! I cried, I cried so many times hearing him win, watching the edits people have made, the McLaren post of Lando jumping on the team, I was so emotional! I mean i cried when I couldn’t watch it live, I had to go to YouTube for live commentary, I am so happy he won!!!!

After doing beach yoga for the Hilton hotel, Lando actually invited Y/N, the yoga instructor, to the Grand Prix.

"Are you sure? You don't have to invite me, I'm sure you have other people in mind." Y/N said.

"No, no, I insist. You said you've never seen a race before and you're a big fan. I can even pick you up so you could be my personal guest." Lando said.

"All right, sounds great, I'll be rooting for you and for Ferrari." Y/N said, hugging Lando before she went to roll her yoga mat. She made it to the hotel so she could change and put her sneakers on before heading over to Juice and Java for a sandwich and a smoothie.

What Y/N did not know is that a certain Ferrari driver was also heading to Juice and Java. Both were walking from opposite directions but Charles opened the door first, letting Y/N pass.

"After you." Charles said.

"Thank you." Y/N said, walking in to the cafe with Charles walking right behind her. She turned her head. "Oh my god, you're Charles, I'm a big fan, really, I'm Y/N." Y/N said.

"Thank you, always great meeting a fan." Charles said.

"Yeah, I am so excited for the Grand Prix, like you don't even know. Am I talking a lot? I tend to ramble when I'm excited or nervous, and honestly seeing you here makes me feel both emotions." Y/N admitted.

"You are talking a lot, but I find the rambling cute." Charles said, making Y/N blush. She was up next to order.

"Hi, how are you?...I'm good, can I get a blueberry, banana, and strawberry smoothie, a chicken caesar wrap, and a Nutella crepe please...yeah that's it, thank you." Y/N said. Charles also said his order and stood beside Y/N.

"You mind if I eat with you?" Charles asked. There was something about Y/N that drew him in.

"I don't mind at all. Lets find us a table." Y/N said, they chose a table away from the windows. Y/N's order was called up first and then Charles, they sat back down.

"So you're a fan of Formula 1?" Charles asked, taking a sip of his juice.

"Yes actually, big Ferrari fan. By the way, not a fan of the new livery." Y/N said, taking a bite of her wrap.

"Why not? Ferrari should be red." Charles said.

"Yeah, but you guys were teasing how Azzurro la plata and Azzurro dino are historical blue shades, making homage to the North American Racing Team, so you'd think that for Miami only, the new livery would look like that, all white with azzurro la plata details." Y/N said, sipping her smoothie.

"You are right, I can't lie, but I am also under contract so as far as Scuederia Ferrari knows, i love the new livery." Charles said, eating his wrap.

"You mean Scuderia Ferrari HP." Y/N teased.

"Ugh, don't remind me. That livery has so many blue HP logos, what is the point of having the blue background on a red car?" Charles argued.

"The fans have been saying the same thing! A transparent background with just the white lettering of HP would have been just fine." Y/N said.

"So what is it that you do?" Charles asked.

"Oh, I'm a yoga instructor, I actually did the Hilton yoga thing with Lando." Y/N said,

"Really? That's cool, are you going to the race?" Charles asked.

"i am! Lando heard me say I never been to a race so he gave me a pass, I'll be his personal guest for race weekend. I'm sure I'll see you around the paddock." Y/N said.

However, Charles did not truly see her until the celebration in a Miami club. Y/N was dancing to a reggaeton song, truly having a good time, drinking with Lando.

"Thanks for inviting me Lando! I am so proud that you won your first race, and that it was my first time watching one in person, you made me cry." Y/N exclaimed over the music, hugging him tightly because she is an affectionate Latina.

"Thank you for coming! I loved hanging out with you." Lando said. Y/N kissed his cheek befire she started dancing some more, Charles watching her every move, just mesmerized by the way she moves to the music, you won't find women like her in Monaco, that's for sure. Charles took a shot of tequila before going up to Y/N and tapping her on the shoulder, she turned around.

"Charles! Its so good to see you, congratulations on P3, you did so well considering what happened during practice." Y/N told him, hugging him really tightly. "Wanna dance with me?"

"I'm afraid if i dance with you, i'll never want to leave Miami." Charles said, flirting a bit, Y/N giggled.

"Well we wouldn't want that now do we?" Y/N teased.

"I don't know, I think I'm willing to move. Theres good food, good music, a bigger population than Monaco, obviously." Charles said and Y/N laughed.

"Well there's also alligators and crocodiles, hurricanes, i don't think you're built for Florida, guapo." Y/N said.

"Would you consider moving to Monaco?" Charles asked.

"Oh i would LOVE to live in Monaco, but I am broke as fuck." Y/N said.

"Then live with me." Charles said.

"Hold on, espera un tantito, we just met, at least buy me dinner." Y/N joked.

"Mm, we leave tomorrow morning. If you give me your number we could do long distance." Charles said.

"Are you serious? You are willing to do a long distance...whatever this is, with me? Are you drunk?" Y/N asked.

"No, but your body got me tipsy." Charles flirted again.

"I'm serious Lord Perceval." Y/N said.

"I would like to explore this, I haven't had luck dating in Monaco, maybe it was time to explore elsewhere, and where else than Miami." Charles states.

"Fine, don't make me regret this." Y/N said. Charles gave her his phone and she put her number and a contact photo from her instagram. "I made you follow me on Insta by the way." Y/N gave Charles his phone back.

"You won't regret it, I swear." Charles said.

7 Months Later

Charles was in his hotel room after media day, December 5. He decided to FaceTime his long distance girlfriend.

"Hello, mon ange, how are you?" Charles asked.

"Guapo, isn't it like 11pm over there? Go to bed, you have practice tomorrow." Y/N said.

"But i wanted to talk to you, how was your day?" Charles asked.

"Its been fine, I'm just doing Christmas shopping, my niece wants legos but my cousin didn't specify which one and I am this close to getting her a McLaren lego set." Y/N said.

"McLaren? Why not Ferrari?" Charles asked.

"Ferrari is all sold out, mi amor, so McLaren it is until that freaking payasa se digna a contestar el pinche teléfono." Y/N said.

"You know, speaking of Christmas, my winter break is coming up in a few days. How do you feel about me spending the break with you in Miami?" Charles asked,

"Wait, really? But what about your family?" Y/N asked.

"I told her that you don't have the luxury to travel with me so I think she's okay with me spending some time in Miami with you. And so is Andrea as long as I am keeping up with my workouts and diet plan." Charles said.

"Wow, thats amazing. Do you still have that craqzy idea of moving to Miami?" Y/N asked.

"I mean, under normal circumstances, I would never leave Monaco because of my mom, but a certain beautiful angel makes me consider moving every time I speak with her." Charles said and Y/N laughed.

"Que cursi, but that's super sweet of you to say, I must give you some credit. Now please go to bed." Y/N said.

"I'll be dreaming of you, goodnight, mon ange." Charles said.

"Goodnight, guapo." Y/N said and hung up the phone. Who knew teaching yoga with Lando would lead to all of this.

The End

Hope y'all liked it, just a little quick blurb to keep me busy and entertained. Read part 2 of Meeting the Family if you haven't done so, I wrote a little more to it.

[xan-izme]

Dubble life (ACTSV x reader x Batfam) 2

Part 1, Part 3

Summary: Reader struggles to get used to their new life in Gotham. Worrying constantly about her family in New York. A rise of tension rises between readers father figure Aaron and her real father Bruce.

After the dinner, you got yourself ready for bed. The old boombox player you had was playing soft music in the background.

You turned the lights off, slipped into bed and stared at absolutely nothing. Even with the soft music playing, you were just itching to break into your suit and jump from building to building. You were missing your life as Spider-Woman. You missed your aunt and uncles. You missed your cousin. He was literally your twin.

You practically bawled your eyes out while saying goodbye to him. Suddenly, your train of thought was broken when you heard a ringing sound. You sat you and grabbed your phone, for some reason, hoping that it was your mother calling, telling you she was going to be home late tonight.

It wasn't your mother, of course, it was Miles, your cousin. You happily accepted the call. "Miles! oh my God, I missed you!" You could hear the boy chuckle on the other side of the phone.

"We saw each other this morning."

You pout and groan "I know! but it feels like it's been days." You knew you were acting like a toddler, but don't you deserve to act like this? After the nights filled with crime, days filled with unwanted drama.

You and Miles stayed on the phone. Not much talking involved. Talking was too much to do, knowing that they couldn't say the usual 'See you tomorrow' or Miles reminding you to be safe on your little outings. You did end up crying at one point, which caused Miles to tear up, but you don't know that, and he would like to keep it that way.

The next few weeks went by in a blink of an eye, dinner most of the times ended up just being you and Alfred, which you understand, knowing Bruce is busy, and Damian doesn't really like you. Tim would join you for lunch at times. You soon found out Tim was a geek. Which made you talk and ramble off about your plans for the future. Besides from that, you were mostly alone in the house.

Now it was your first day of school, your uncle Aaron offered to drive you for your first day. You asked Bruce for permission first of course.

Bruce at first wanted to say no, but when he pondered about it. It would be good for you to be with someone you knew better to be with you on your first day.

But Bruce looked into Aron. The man was trouble, used to be involved in lots of bad people back in the day. Just to be safe, Bruce decided to tag along. This would also help Bruce get closer to you, get to know the real you.

Putting aside the formalities and the instant obedience you give him.

The doorbell rang, Alfred opened the door and see Aaron standing with a blank expression, one matching Alfreds. "Ah, Mister Davies. Lady Y/n is curently getting ready. Please follow me."

Without any words, Aaron follows Alfred to a room. Thats where he meets Bruce.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Davies." Bruce puts a smile on his face and extended his hand to greet. Aaron smiled a little and shook his hand

"Same here. And Aaron is fine."

The two men sat down and began to talk. It was normal, but only for a small amount of time. The tension in the room began to rise when Aaron's past was brought up.

". . . I admit. I went down the wrong path when I was younger. But I grew out of that mess. But if this is about Y/n, then I guaranty you she is nothing like me. She's a good girl."

"I know she is. I'm not suggesting anything Ill towards my daughter."

Aaron chuckled "Daughter? Don't take this personally. But she ain't your daughter. Not till she says so."

Before any real argument could be made, you came busting in the room. "Uncle Aaron!"

"Baby girl!" Aron at up and opened his arms for a hug.

You ran into the man's arms. Giggling as Aaron gave your head a kiss.

"Look at you. In your little uniform."

You smiled more and twirled around for Aaron to see the whole fit better. "You like it?"

"I love it."

The car ride was a little awkward, but at least it wasn't fully awkward.

Aaron gave you some money and a few good luck kisses and I love You's from Rio. You gave Bruce a hug goodbye.

It's been almost a month since Spider-woman was last seen. Tim did take an interest in this Spider-woman and was going to offer her to join the Young Justice League. You were just one person looking after New York all on your own, with no help. It was very impressive.

But now Spider-Woman was just nowhere to be seen. She has just gone MIA. Now the Prowler was taking care of the city. The media has gone crazy after the disappearance of Spider-woman.

'WHERE IS SPIDER-WOMAN?'

'SPIDER-WOMAN ON THE RUN?'

What did catch Tim's attention was the last time Spider-Woman was seen was the day Y/n's mother died. A lot of people were hurt that day Only one dead, which was your mother. Tim has come to a small theory that the death of your mother is connected to the disappearance of Spider-woman.

It's been a full week since you started school, the first day, teachers were really nice to you. They already knew about your mother, which had them pity you. And Bruce being your father made them extra nice. You already didn't like the kids. Seeing them as fake. Because they were. Those smiling faces, those empty words.

You knew them all too well. You do the same, fake knows fake, guess that's what you could call it. Damian was of course no help. Ignoring you as much as he could. Which you didn't actually care.

Why would you care for someone who clearly don't care for you? No need to waste any energy on him. You did take interest in a few clubs. You did need to pick one that you didn't have to attend all the time. One that didn't need too much of your attention. So, you picked the art club.

You saw how much kids were in there, with those number of kids, no one expects you to get to know them all, nor make friends with them all. There are also very talented kids in the club, and the art they do isn't your style, so you're not the best. Which was in a way, good to keep cover.

Right now, you were at the manor. Your uncle dropped off the extra books you left at his place. half of your room looked a section in a library. You knew there was a library in the manor. But they weren't your books. Even if Bruce insists that most of the things in the manor was also yours, that's not how you saw it.

The things you brought from New York was yours, the cloths, books, pictures. You just felt like a guest. Nothing else.

You were curently in your room, listening to a playlist Miles made for you. You were just finishing up your homework when you heard a knock on your door.

"Y/n? It's me, Bruce." The voice on the other side of the door spoke. "Come in!" You say, just loud enough for him to hear.

Bruce enters the room, when he sees you, a small smile graces his lips. You gave him an awkward smile as you wait for what he needed to tell you.

"My schedule is cleared out today. I was wondering if you wanted to go out shopping with me." Bruce was taking a look around your room. Looking at the items you kept on shelves, pictures. Trying to know what you would like, so he could buy something for you that was more of your style.

"And me!" Suddenly Dick popped out of the door with a bright smile on his face. "Nice room." Drick mumbled as he went near your bookshelf. Seeing what books, you were into.

"Ah. . . I would love to, sir- Bruce. But I don't got much on me." You had your own card, you had about 300 or 500 in. But you don't use it unless you're out and really need something to eat. On top of that, you kind of have a spending problem you need to control.

"No need to worry about that." Bruce pulled out his card "It's all on me."

You had no choice but to go with them. You sat in the back seat. Dick in the passenger seat while Bruce was driving. "How's school? make any friends?" Dick spoke up, turning down the volume of the radio. "Oh, it's alright. Me a few kids, they were pretty nice."

The car pulled up to a store. You walked in with the two men and started looking around. You saw plushies that looked really cute. "Can I get these?" You pointed at the plushies and looked up to Bruce for permision.

"Of course." Dick grabbed the plushies and you all started to get more things. Clothes, shoes. You were pretty satisfied with what you had. Bruce purchased what you had picked out, along with a few dresses Dick picked out for you.

Bruce was able to talk to you more. He knows that you like a lot of music genres, you seem to have a deep bond with your cousin Miles and your uncle Aaron. You speak highly of Miles, like he was a sun in the sky to praise.

Bruce was still hooked up on what Aaron had said. Bruce knows that he can't fix the sixteen years he missed in your life, but he wants to try and be there for you now. Try to break down that fake smile of yours.

What? You think he didn't notice.?

Bruce knows what pain looks like. And he can see it all over you. In your actions, your words. In your voice. Whatever makes you cry, whatever fears you have. Bruce will make them all go away. And he is determined to earn the title as your father. For you to finally call him by that title.

Because he's your father. And that's what fathers do.

[wordsvomit101]

(I probably only do this with cards I like in the future)

It is part 2 of Juno L Card, here is the original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6e7GQxiTuY&rco=1 (credit to @shyanimeboi on X)

... I feel like I'm being accused of something I'm not. Defamatory, slander, the audacity of this guy

This is lore-accurate MC BUT STILL, how dare-

I wouldn't mind being a cat for a day you know, so I just lounge around wherever and being treated like those ancient royal Egyptian's cats is a must.

Oh?

Okay Juno, didn't know you could have the green tea energy but keep cooking

This is where I got the feeling that his fans must be watching somewhere behind the rubble like I just got that gut feeling they're watching and having ovaries overload or combusting on the spot right now

I almost believed him BUT THEN

HE REALLY GOING MEAN GIRL ON ME

If I were MC I would poke his eyes- Cause ain't no way you saying that to me with that face boy

So he DOES have mean girl energy in him. I like it, to observe it, but he better not use it on me because I will not take him seriously if he wants intimacy later, I'm not built like that

Yeah, dude what ya think??? I have a job and a house on there, unfortunately an achievement in this economy (I remember MC still has a house, they just chose to stay with Minhyeok because they didn't want to be in a space where their parents died, which is valid)

So his regular head tilting as a red chewing gum is actually mean it like this??? Damn ok-

I can't believe they have Satan and Gehenna making a move with Minhyeok before MC.

I still didn't forgive Satan for kissing Minhyeok before MC could

Sir????

Ignoring Ppyong's being a smug little bastard, it is actually really nice that they show how close MC is with Minhyeok and how much they care for each other. If they don't get together, it's fine by me, at least let them be platonic soulmates.

??? How much time did you spend time with Minhyeok on Earth? Either Minhyeok's scent was mad strong and lingered easily or they had been all over each other-

I KNOW IT IS HIM! Tell me how you got his scent on you! Spill the tea sis!

What?

Wait-wait-wait they actually serious?!

Excuse me, how the hell do you think I can do it??? Ya'll devils must be having some goofy as-hell imagination if you think I can do it

Oooh more detail to take note on

So anyway, they end up touching each other and live up to his kink, because they are be TOUCHING. And there are some details of how Minhyeok and MC used to touch and caress each other heads and how MC feels at ease just by the familiarity of it which is really really cute (இ‸இ`｡)

I am actually surprised how I got a lot of Juno's personality spot on in my two fics of him and he is already my favorite, but I like him a lot more now that we got to know him more than just a silly little red dough.

Please watch the rest in Hiki's (@shyanimeboi) YouTube video that I write down at the top (they're the actual angel here) and thank you for listening to me ramble, I will do this again once Minhyeok, Paimon, and Selaphiel L cards come out... But if they got the same paywall treatment then I might open my wallet if I really like it.

[prentisssgf]

| sad, beautiful, tragic

| criminal minds

| emily x reader

| fluff but little bit angsty (nightmares, Ian Doyle mentions, slight annoyed Emily)

| 1586 words

You joined the team around 7 years after Emily Prentiss did, there was something about her that drew you to her, you couldn't really explain it but one day it clicked, you liked Emily.

"I think you should go for it, you know" JJ stopped you one day.

"I actually don't know what you're talking about" you shrugged as you stirred your coffee.

"Please you've been eyeing up Prentiss all day, you like her" Morgan teased.

"Morgan, I do not like her" you defended "she is my colleague" you huffed.

"It's that red tank top" he said facing JJ, you looked at JJ, she shrugged and nodded.

"Okay fine, I like Emily and that stupid red tank top" you sighed, finally giving in.

"Congratulations Y/N, you are officially the last to know" JJ and Morgan both laughed .

"I think you should just talk to her, she may feel the same way" Derek winked.

"You two owe me a drink" you sighed, walking up to Emily's office.

You walked over to her door, you turned around to see JJ nodding and Derek giving you a thumbs up, Spencer joining them with a confused look.

You knocked the door and you heard a gentle "come in" on the other side.

"Hi, it's me" you smiled "I was wondering if you were able to talk, just for a few minutes" you smiled as you closed the door, you looked to see Emily taking her glasses off and placing them down on several laid out papers scattered around her office and desk "but if now is a bad time-" you cut yourself off by walking out only to be met with JJ and Spencer frantically shaking their heads while mouthing 'no' and 'go back in' with hands sticking out to signal that, you took a deep breath and you walked into her office.

"Is everything okay agent Y/L/N?" Emily raised one eyebrow as she sat crossed legged at her desk.

"Yes, I mean no, I mean-" you rambled "I mean, argh screw it, I like you Emily, and I have for a while and I know you don't like me back and it's fine but I thought that you deserve to know and-" you rambled.

"Woah woah Y/N Y/N Y/N" Emily hushed you "who said I didn't like you back?" she smirked.

"I- you do?" you sat there with your mouth wide open, shocked to hear those words come from Emily Prentiss' mouth.

"Y/N I've been crazy about you since the minute you walked in here" Emily laughed.

"Why didn't you say anything?" you shook your head as you laughed.

"I was wondering how long it would take for you to admit that you like me back" Emily smirked again.

You couldn't help but smile and you walked around her desk to kiss her lips slightly, when you pulled away she deepened the kiss "come over tonight" she mumbled into the kiss, you nodded as your foreheads touched.

From that night on you two become inseparable, you had been together for about 4 months now and you were loving it, the one thing that you couldn't work out though was Emily's past, she was all together a private person and you tremendously respected that, you figured that if something was important to her that she would tell you sooner or later, she always told you them anyway, she never kept secrets from you, she just didn't like people to judge her from her past, you did the same.

One night changed everything, you did your routine and everything was fine, Emily was sleeping on your chest, your hand around her back and tucked in your covers, you were a very light sleeper so when she started shaking and sobbing in her sleep and shouting at someone called Ian Doyle to stop you had to wake her up.

"Hey Emily" you shook her "Emily" you said more sternly "Emily" you shouted again until she woke.

"What happened?" she pushed herself up by pushing her hands down on your stomach.

"You had a nightmare and I had to wake you it was about someone called Ian D-" you spoke as both of you were now standing at the edge of your bed.

"Shut up, stop it" Emily snapped at you.

"Huh?" you furrowed your brows, Emily had never snapped at you like that "What was that about?"

"Just fucking drop it" she sighed running her hands through her hair.

"Emily-" you sighed softly

"Don't Emily me" she scoffed loudly.

"What the fuck is up with you, tell me right now who Ian Doyle is" you demanded.

You watched Emily's eyes go from anger to fear in a split second, her eyes blinking repeatedly as she was trying not to cry.

You sat her down on the edge of the bed and gripped her hands in yours as she recounted everything about Ian Doyle, she told you everything about him, from her undercover days, to the year before when Doyle "killed" her and she had to move to Paris for seven months, all whilst sobbing and clutching to you.

"Em" you sighed softly, stroking your hands gently through her raven hair "Emily" you sighed again as you kissed the top of her head "can you look at me please?" you said sliding off the bed and balancing on your knees as you faced her, you took her hands in yours again, you let one hand go to lift her chin to look at you "Emily Prentiss, you are the strongest person I know, you are the most beautiful and lovely and kind person I have ever dated and I couldn't be more thankful for you, it might be too early to say but I love you Em, I'm so happy and excited to wake up to you every morning, I love making you smile and making you coffee, you are everything to me Emily" you smiled, now sliding your hand down her cheeks, not missing her tears to wipe them away "but Emily you don't have to be so strong all the time" you sighed "Emily I love you but you don't have to keep your walls up all the time, we can smash the wall down or take it away brick by brick but whatever you chose to do I will be here, by your side, I promise Emily, I am not leaving your side" You stood up, now leaning down and balancing your forehead on Emily's.

"Y/N I-" she sobbed "I want to start opening up to you but it's so hard" you nodded as she explained how when she was younger her mother saw crying and fear as a negative emotion and she learned that it was bad and that it was frowned upon, you pretty much knew that Emily didn't speak to her mother anymore, you never asked why, didn't see the need to pry and you figured that she would tell you when she would feel comfortable to.

"I think I was so scared that because I'm having these nightmares and there's negative thoughts that you would see me different- different to the strong and independent Emily that you know" she sniffed.

"Emily did you say 'having'? how long have you been having nightmares for?" you smiled as you dragged her into bed.

"Couple of weeks, 3 maybe" Emily shrugged, now the fact that she would be always in her office, uninterested in dinners and nights out with the BAU made total sense.

"Oh honey" you sighed, opening your arms out for you to hold her in "and Em?" you questioned.

"Yeah?" she looked up and whispered softly.

"I don't see you any different by the way" you smiled at her, your hand coming up into her hair, stroking it "If it's any consolation, I think you showing emotions - your anxiety, your negative thoughts-it makes you even more strong" you smiled.

"Really?" she looked up at you with big brown sad eyes.

"Hmm" you nodded in agreement.

"The fact that you even told me you're having these nightmares, that's a really strong person" you smiled "right there" you pocked a finger into her chest, making her smile lightly for the first time that night "do you wanna talk some more or sleep?" you smiled.

"Sleep" she smiled "If that's okay"

"More than okay" you kissed her once more before waiting for her to fall asleep before you doing the same shortly.

☆

"Good morning" you smiled as Emily walked into the kitchen "How did you sleep?"

"Good until my girlfriend wasn't in my bed this morning" she pouted making you slightly laugh.

"Here" you smiled as you pushed her coffee cup to the edge of the counter "lots of milk and splenda"

"I love you" she smiled as she circled the counter to kiss you on the temple and sit next to you "I didn't say it yesterday when you said it" she smiled sadly.

"Hey hey no it's okay" you smiled "I know we both mean it" Emily sighed loudly, making you smile a little bit.

"Thankful for you, you know" Emily playfully shoved your arm with hers before leaning her head on your shoulder.

"I know and I'm thankful for you too" you smiled down at her "Emily I'm always gonna be grateful for you" you kissed her temple once more and leaned your cheek on her head, taking in the calmness of what you found yourself in.

[strangersteddierthings]

Shovel Talk(s) Final Part

Part One 🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four

Steve starts with Dustin. Not for any particular reason. Dustin is just the first person he ends up seeing after an entire weekend spent at Eddie's house. They'd redone their date in Indy on Saturday, getting back into Hawkins late, so Steve stayed the night. He had a morning shift at Family Video but it was Robin's day off so he didn't see her.

Dustin called at 11:00am on Monday to ask for Steve's assistance with his bike's flat tire. He needs a ride to Melvald's for a new tire tube and pump, and since Steve's shift doesn't start until 2:00pm he agrees.

Steve picks him up and listens to him ramble about his weekend and how he the tube got a hole in it. He stays in the car while Dustin runs inside to make his purchases, and then they're back at Dustin's house. Dustin knows how to change out the tube on his bike; he's been raised by a single mother for longer than Steve's known him so he's pretty self-sufficient, but Steve still offers to do it and Dustin lets him.

It's little moments like these that really let Steve feel like Dustin's brother. Which is what makes it easier for Steve to say, as he is peeling the tube from inside the tire out, "hey, do you remember a week or so ago, when you said we were happy for Eddie and me?"

"Yeah," Dustin says as he's ripping open the package the new tube is in.

"You also told me to not hurt him. I- why'd you say that?" Steve halts his progress on peeling the tube out to look up at Dustin.

He watches as Dustin turns sheepish, "I. Well, mostly I said it so that when I talk to Eddie, I might feel less bad about threatening him."

"What? Why did you threaten him?"

Dustin finishes freeing the new tube from its prison before finally looking back at Steve, "I haven't yet. Mike was talking about how Nancy gave you a shovel talk a while ago, as Eddie's 'best friend'," he makes air quotes around the words, "and I'm your best friend, so I have to give Eddie one. But Eddie's also my friend, so I had to say something to you, too."

"That's so-" Steve cuts off, because he was going to say that's so childish but Dustin should be allowed to be childish just a little longer. Part of his childhood was stolen by monsters and Steve can give him a little bit back, "that's a nice thought but please don't shovel talk Eddie. Besides, Erica beat you to it."

"Shit!"

"Language."

"Well, since Erica did it there's really no point in me doing it. She's terrifying when she wants to be."

Steve laughs because Erica can be terrifying. "Give me the tube, or do you want to finish this?"

"No, continue," Dustin thrusts the tube at Steve, who takes it with a grin and gets back to work.

Robin and he are closing on a Wednesday night, so it's been slow all day, and while Steve wants to talk to Robin, he doesn't want to be interrupted. So, they go about their shift like normal and it's only once he's locked the door and flipped the open sign to closed that he seeks out Robin in the back room, where she's counting down the till.

"Can you pause after that? I need to talk," Steve says and feels his stomach churn. He's never.... he and Robin have never had a fight, never really had any issues that required a talk. Not about anything between them anyway. Robin's always just understood him, in the same way he's understood Robin. They've never been the source of each other's pains until now.

"Yeah, of course," Robin finished the coins, marking down the amounts on a piece of paper before shifting to give Steve her full attention. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

"It?"

"Whatever's hurting you," she says. "I don't know what it is, but I knew you'd come to me when you were ready."

"It's been heard to try and talk about," Steve confesses, "because it's never. It was never you that I've been- I still don't know what to say but I know I don't want to be..." he trails off, waving his hands as he grapples for the words he wants.

"Oh," Robin whispers, standing from the desk to approach. "I hurt you. Tell me what I did, so I can properly apologize."

"When you told me to be careful with Eddie," Steve says, "after I told you about our first date. I don't understand why you'd say that me."

Robin looks pained and swallows before she says, "I'm so sorry, Steve. I shouldn't have said that. And I don't- I don't even have a good reason why I did. I know you'd never hurt Eddie. I know you and what I said wasn't even about you. Not the real you, anyway."

"So, why'd you say it, then?"

Robin frowns and looks away from him, shuffling her feet before she says to a point at the wall, "I was friends, or friendly, with a lot of the girls you were with in high school. A lot of one and done dates that I had to hear about, while they cried in the bathroom or on their bedroom floors, wondering what they'd done wrong, why you didn't stay or-" Steve winces as the reminder of who he'd been in high school comes easily out of Robin, but not for the usual reason he winces. It's not because Robin's reminding him he used to be a douche; she's reminding him of all the people he hurt and never cared that he'd done it. He never apologized, and now it's far too late even if all those girls deserve to hear it.

Robin is still speaking, "or whatever. But that doesn't matter now. You aren't that guy anymore; haven't been the entire time I've actually known you and it wasn't fair for me to say what I said. I just- you took Eddie out, and the part of me that spent years of high school consoling friends who felt used by you just spoke. I-I need to work on filtering the words that come out of my mouth, because if I'd waited like, four more seconds to process your words and settle in the fact you went on a date we both thought you'd never be brave enough to ask for, then I never would have said it. I'm so sorry, Steve. I know you and I should have known better."

Steve swallows thickly, because it hurt to hear but he also knows she's sorry and that's enough. He steps forward and sweeps her into a hug, crushing her against him. She squeezes back just as hard.

Steve has never felt really hurt about Wayne's shovel talk. It was the first, and the only one he'd say he deserved. Not because Steve deserved to have a shovel talk given to him, but because Wayne should get to have the honor of giving one. Eddie's never had a boyfriend before, and Wayne had spent so long worried about how this town would treat Eddie if they knew he was gay.

So, when Steve sees Wayne again, he just smiles at the man, and gets a genuine smile back. He and Wayne are ok.

He and Jeff apologize to each other next time they cross paths on a Hellfire night. Steve apologizes for being snappy and rude. Jeff apologizes for automatically assuming the worst of Steve. They agree to a truce and a start over.

Steve's convinced he can win over Eddie's friends eventually.

Steve can't talk to Nancy. There's too much left unsaid between them for him to feel comfortable with telling her she hurt him. But it's okay. He and Nancy aren't close friends, and she's leaving for Boston in a few weeks for college. He's sure that the distance, and not seeing her weekly for Lunch Date Day, will help.

So, he's a bit surprised to answer the knocking on his front door to see Nancy. It's an exact recreation of the day she shovel talked him and immediately Steve tenses.

"Uh, hi," he says.

Nancy takes a deep breath and says, "I'm sorry. I thought I was being funny when I gave you that shovel talk, but I- someone made it clear to me that we aren't friends enough to be able to make jokes like that. That's my fault, too. For everything I've done and never apologized for. So, I want to say that I'm sorry."

Steve's a little stumped, a bit perplexed even, so he speaks on autopilot, "It's fine, Nance. We're good."

Nancy squares her jaw and narrows her eyes and says, "no."

"No?"

"No. Don't forgive me. Not yet. Make me earn it."

Steve don't respond right away. He wants to just forgive Nancy, but when he thinks about it, he just wants to do that so Nancy will quit looking so defensive. He's not sure he does forgive her. "You're right. I- we'll work on that, then. Being friends one day."

"Good. Good," Nancy nods. "I'll see you are Lunch Date day, yeah? Or... or would you like me to stop coming?"

He shakes his head. "No, please keep coming. There's, what, three more before you're off to college? We can work towards friends in that time, yeah?"

"Yeah," Nancy gives him a small smile, "see you then, Steve."

"See you," Steve replies and shuts the door as she heads down the walkway back towards her car.

He wants to know if Eddie or Robin gave her the dressing down that brought her here to say sorry.

(It wasn't Robin or Eddie. It was Mike, learning what Nancy had done and telling her it wasn't her place to do that.)

There is one final shovel talk for the remainder of their relationship.

It's the final day in Steve's room at his parents house. He's moving in with Eddie and Wayne, at least until the kid's all graduate. Then he and Eddie might go off somewhere on their own.

He's finished packing up his things from the bathroom, and looks up in the mirror. He sees himself, and almost doesn't recognize the reflection staring back. He looks happy. Actually, really happy.

Eddie appears behind him in the mirror, leaning himself against the doorjam, smiling softly at Steve through the mirror.

"All done, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, babe," Steve says. "Just one more thing."

"Oh?"

Steve slides his eyes away from Eddie in the mirror, back to himself. He lifts a finger and points one accusingly finger at himself and says, "if you fuck this up, Harrington, I'll kick your ass myself."

Eddie's full belly laughter rings loudly in the bathroom and Steve just smiles.

[azulsluver]

I just want to ramble a little bit but- My personal scenario/headcanon for Bully au (which by the way, I love your writing) is that maybe one day reader decides to disappear, even if for a little while, maybe they just hide in some place for a long period of time (or hilariously and sneakily find a way to avoid their bullies throughout an entire day, or even crazier a whole week!!). They're so emotionally destroyed that they start to actually believe their insults and awful treatment they endured, and so they decide to just isolate themselves further somewhere no one can "be burdened by me"- Which in turn causes everyone else to at first get pissed off and then more and more (slightly, very slightly) worried that their punching bag is missing.... Perhaps, even have escaped them? 👀 I would love to see who loses their composure first, even if they don't admit their obsession at all lmao

Anon you don’t know what you’re doing to me //0//

tw. Bully!characters, no one takes you seriously kinda, yandere, stalking, baby tantrums.

This was more crack than anything serious…idk what happened but rants bellow!

They genuinely start tweakin:

Riddle, Deuce, Kalim, Malleus, Jack, Silver, Ruggie, Idia, Vil

They’re the ones that usually have their eyes on you, to find out that you’re missing and not at a place they SPECIFICALLY told you to be/stay flares their attention. Sure they can last a couple of days without you but a week? Nuh uh, they think they’re responsible for whatever you do, once they find you you’re getting a whole lecture. Telling you they’d get in trouble if they hadn’t found you sooner but let’s be real here.

But if you hid in a place far far away from them (which is impressive and impossible tbh) they’re already having a meltdown. Biting fingernails, aggressively running their fingers through their hair. All of that, and the ones who usually stay composed in situations like these (Ruggie/Riddle/Malleus) start to overthink so bad that they look beyond stress. It’s the thought that maybe you ran away from them or worse got kidnapped or lost. Which makes them have more of a reason to keep a tighter leash on you.

Ok but Kalim, Idia and Deuce cry like babies and throw tantrums.

Let the imagination work so think of Vil sitting on the kitchen table with his hair tied up and a face mask on while wearing a robe, a cup of coffee in his hands as he stares off into the distance that looks like he’s about to stab someone. He deadass thinks he’s growing grey hairs and has eyebags because his favorite punching bag is missing after two weeks. Who is he gonna step on now..

Gets pissed off:

Leona, Ace, Azul, Sebek, Epel, Jamil

“But why?” Is what they said when they perfectly understand the problem. Do they feel bad? No. In fact people like Leona and Azul can go through days without you because they’re always busy with something rather than terrorizing you. BUT you have to understand that as much as they pretend to not care they aren’t willing to clean up the mess after your pity party.

Jamil and Sebek are only mad about you disappearing is because of Malleus and Kalim’s whining. Please save them.

Ace and Epel are the ones who are mega mad as in a corny way. “How dare my punching bag run away from me and disappear for days!!” Typa stuff. Unbeknownst to them they double the insults and it makes you even more depressed lmaoo.

Ehhh Jamil may actually panic as well, because when Kalim isn’t happy no one is. And he does misses you personally, worries when he finds you (which is really scary to [Name’s] pov bc why is he so caring??) he’s all over you to make sure you aren’t injured or anything. Still pissed so he might slap the back of your head a couple of times and lecture you + same thing goes when Sebek finds you except he doesn’t comfort you.

Thinks it’s amusing:

Rook, Jade, Floyd, Trey, Cater, Lilia,

“Ohoho did I go overboard?” Yea you did. Anyways little shits don’t feel bad in fact they think it’s funny and cute that you disappeared because you couldn’t handle the insults and took it for granted. Lilia and Jade giving you false comfort just to do it all over again when you make a mistake. They probably already know your hiding spots and camp there to experiment how long it’ll take for you to come crawling back.

Maybe, just a little bit that Trey feels bad. He coddles you for a while then goes right back to gaslighting because he’s always right and when he says these things to you it’s because you’re wrong!! The type to restrict his affections if you decide to go into another episode of running away and crying. Cater knows where ya at bc you have location on.

At first Floyd was pissed because his resting place is missing, like bae where you go? But eventually he understands where you went because for some reason he’s bullying everyone around him and stalking your location to see where ya at. Mocks you once he finds you, really mean but it wasn’t “entirely” intentional. Like he knows he’s at fault and is trying to cheer you up by mocking your “problems”. Ok but don’t do that again or he’s going on the genuinely tweakin box.

We all saw Rook being in this section no surprise. Knows every little place you could be right now, has his eyes on you 24/7. “My love I didn’t mean to say your lips are chapped and you can use some Vaseline but the whole thing would be gone isa joke :(“ it’s not. Purposely picks out your insecurities so you can do another runaway.

[xiaomainlmao]

Twst Dormleaders with a reader who fights very elegantly

Riddle Roshearts

He's amazed

Looks at you and your form very carefully and tries his best to appreciate even the tiny details

He knows that with his physical abilities, he most likely won't be able to do the same, but still asks you if you can teach him a trick or two

Gets the theory behind how it's done pretty quickly and due to his already strict nature, his posture is pretty good too

Can do some tricks to an extent, but gets tired very easily and needs constant breaks

If you praise him for getting something right, he'll internally scream "YES!" with the happiest Riddle face you could ever see

At the end, he'll thank you very sincerely and asks if he can assist you with something like studies in return

Leona Kingscholar

...are you trying to show-off?

Not very amused about it, in fact he compares you to Vil due to your elegance

Tbh i don't think he would care too much about how someone does their thing, as long as the job is completed

Wouldn't voice it, but he thinks you look really nice because your form is pretty clean

If he does voice it, he'll be very smug about it, calling you a "pretty but terrifying doll" and all, because unless you are really really close, he just wouldn't want to genuinely praise someone (or Ruggie's going to use it against him)

May want to fight you if he's in the mood, just to see "whether those pretty punches and kicks are actually worth flaunting"

Still, at the end he pats your back and says "that was a pretty good kick" and leaves before receiving a response

Azul Ashengrotto

"oh my..."

Yea he stares, very shocked and intrigued

If you ever ask him for a favour, he'll ask you to very patiently teach him a couple tricks

Isn't the fastest learner when it comes to physical activities, but it's alright

When you're teaching or showing him something, he's going to genuinely praise you by letting go of that businessman attitude of his (don't be fooled though, the businessman in him will return after your sessions are over)

He'll be letting his guard down for these sessions so please be patient with him, and don't tease him because he gets embarrassed easily

He does manage to learn some things, but it takes him some time

Thanks you for being patient with him and tells you to come over to Mostro Lounge whenever you require any sort of assistance

Will not openly admit it, but he makes less demanding deals with you, thanks to the soft spot he developed for you over your little sessions

Kalim-al-Asim

Has those wide, shiny Kalim eyes when he sees your form for the first time

Praises you so much and doesn't stop until you're all red-faced and stuttering due to embarrassment

I feel like he's the type of person to use a lot of symbolism, so he will probably compare you and your fighting form to all sorts of things- from actual people to the stars in the sky

May ask you to teach him a thing or two, and depending on how easy or difficult it is, he may even be able to do a couple tricks

Adds it to the list of things he can praise you about, so whenever you feel bad or insecure about yourself, he's rambling about how much he loves the way you fight

Very, very, very supportive- he'll likely find out if there's anyone in his connections that can help you get even better

Just be a little careful if he's introducing you to someone, because he definitely will ramble about everything your good at, including how good you look and how strong you feel when you fight using those cool tricks where you look almost like you're dancing and—

Vil Schoenheit

Observes you and your style intently

Just like Riddle, he'll try to appreciate the tiniest of details in the way you fight

...and also to point out any posture errors since he's Vil "always being a perfectionist because nothing should be below his standards" Schoenheit

From the Beans Day event, we know he fights pretty elegantly too

So he'd be very happy to practice with you, whether it be doing warm-ups together or actually sparring

Helps you with any trick you find difficult, or corrects you if your posture is not up to the mark

Expects you to be strict with him as well, he can make use of some criticism (and he really appreciates it if you find a genuine, note-worthy flaw in his form, because he's not egoistic about having been taught by professionals)

Over all, I think he can appreciate your fighting style (with proper criticism included) the best since he also has a similar form, and spotting the little details is easy for him

Idia Shroud

Who or what are you? Yun Jin from genshin impact?? Nilou from genshin impact???

No wait you are rather strong, so perhaps Eula? (even though she's been promoted to npc as of version 3.7) Hell Shenhe or even male characters like Albedo or Ayato can be said to have elegant fighting forms.

In short, he just thinks you are like a well-developed, well-animated character from a video game meant to get high sales.

This man hates going out, so he most likely saw you fight either during p.e. that Ortho forced him to attend, or because he was lucky enough to be out and witness it

Will actually voice out his thoughts in disbelief, speaking rather quickly about how if you were a game character, everyone would spend on the game for you

Gets embarrassed right after though and starts fumbling over his words after he is done with his out-burst.

If he feels comfortable enough around you, will try to practice with you, pretending as though you are both imitating some cool game characters

(even if all the fighting skills and poses he practices will go down the drain if someone else were to witness it in an actual fight)

Malleus Draconia

Has probably visited the knights while they were practicing, but has never seen them even try to fight as elegantly as you can

Is very intrigued

He probably won't want to fight you though, unlike the others, unless you suggest it

It's not because he thinks you're weak or anything, he thinks you are very strong and capable (and beautiful while fighting)

He just doesn't want to hurt you or scare you away, since he's aware of his own strength

But if you're very keen on sparring with him, he'll indulge you

Is very attentive to your needs- if he feels like you need a rest, he'll tell you outright, if he notices that one of the forms could potentially harm you, will ask you to reconsider using it

He really admires you and won't be afraid to voice his fascination towards you and everything you do

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-eight

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: okay, I had no plans on updating tonight(it's already 12:15 in the morning and I have to be up in seven hours) But I realized how crazy busy the next few days are so I said fuck it, and power wrote this for you all! PLEASE ENJOY!

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

NOAH

"You're doing it again."

I ignored Jolly as I continued to pace the length of our bus while they watched with worry in their eyes.

"I don't understand. What the fuck happened? I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her." I rambled on while running a hand over my mouth.

"Noah-."

"No," I snapped while stopping in my tracks and looked directly into Nick's eyes. "I tried to tell her about Trey but she believed him over me. I know what I heard. Wasn't I enough for her?"

Nick sighed as he leaned against the counter in the kitchen area of the bus. "We all know that's not the reason she didn't believe you. It has nothing to do about your worth to her, Noah. She has no love for Trey, she's just blinded by what she think she wants. He has her claws in deep and she think there's no way out."

"He's a disease, eating away at her," Jolly spoke from his spot on the couch.

"I'm so fucked," I hastily tied my hair back out of my face. "She'll never see me the way I see her."

Jolly disagreed with a shake of his head. "You don't see what I've seen the last month. I think she feels the same."

Just as I was about to argue with Jolly, Folio fell down onto the couch next to him with a heavy thump while popping open a can of red bull. "She like's you, Noah. Trust me."

"Really? Because with how the conversation went, I think differently. It's clear who she would rather be with."

"You're not seeing it through her lense. Do you not remember how you were with-."

My eyes sliced into Nick as he tried to bring up my ex, again. "Don't."

He shook his head and stood straighter. "No, you're not going to get out of this conversation. I'm tired of you ignoring this. Julie fucked you up, but you needed time to grow from it and move forward. You need to let Y/N realize that and do it."

“I’ve seen you through everything after Julie," Nick continued. "We've known each other since we were twelve years old, trust me when I say this; Y/N's seeing things from a distance right now. She’s afraid she’s going to lose everything, he’s got her fucking trapped in that way of thinking."

Jolly agreed. "All it's going to take is one more slip, and Y/N's gonna see it. Trey is one more vodka red bull away from being fired."

I snorted while resting my hand on my hips. "I doubt that. Trey thinks he's the heart and soul of that band. There's no way he's going to get fired."

"Have our hunches ever been wrong?" Nick sighed. "Look, I think we all knew that there was something there, even before you met her. You were always so drawn to her music, then you met her and I’ve seen you smile; actually smile, Noah. I haven’t seen you smile like that in years. I think I can speak for us when I say; you’re not alone. She loves you too."

He shrugged as if mine and Y/N's feelings for each other were that simple.

I fell into the couch behind me with an almost defeated groan. "I don't know, guys. It feels pretty one sided right now."

"Just give it time," Folio smiled. "It might not be an easy road but we all see it; even Malcolm and Chase. Trey see's it too that's why he's acting like this. He knows Y/N's slipping from his grasp."

"Fuck him," I grumbled while leaning my head back to look up at the ceiling.

"Noah," Jolly's soft voice eased the growing tension.

I hummed in response, not bothering to look at him.

"Did you kiss her?"

My head snapped up at his question, heart hammering heart in my chest when I remember it; the memory never left if I was being honest.

"Yea," I sighed, not bothering to lie.

They all knew, it was clear on the unsurprised looks on their faces, but Nick's shoulders fell slightly. "You're really in deep."

I clasped my hands together as my arms rested on my thighs. "I know."

READER

Noah brushed past me, his anger radiating through me in waves, as the tears fell from my eyes to the ground below. My mind was swirling with so many words, I couldn't focus on what hurt the most.

"Trey cheated on you."

"No, I get it loud and fucking clear, Y/N! You're so afraid of how you feel for me, for us, that you're staying with something familiar even though he treats you like shit!"

"I don't deserve this," I wiped away the tears and turned slowly on my feet to head back to the bus but halted.

Did I really want to go there knowing that's where Trey was? What would I do? Confront him or ignore it like I did everything else?

Instead of walking towards my bus, I turned to take a few steps when I realized I was walking towards Bad Omens bus almost out of habit. I peered up through the windows to see Noah pacing while talking with his hands, no doubt telling the guys about what happened. For a moment, I forgot about the last hour of my birthday and remembered all the great things everyone put together for me today.

Even through the clear anger on his face, Noah looked ethereal in the low light of the bus. Out of everything he said tonight, the one thing I believed to be true was my feelings about him. I knew early on that I felt more than a normal friendship with him but it scared me to death.

There were these chemicals that passed between us when we kissed and it made us cling to one another. It blinded me for a little while to all the bad in my life until it came crashing down light a fit of rain. Noah was a miracle, and although I wasn't spiritual, he'd been this glimpse of bliss, a taste of heaven that my body desperately needed; my soul desired.

Now you fucked it up because you believed Trey over him.

I forced the negative thoughts out of my head and peered down to the still healing tattoo on my ankle before those imaginary walls built up inside of me, just like they were weeks ago when tour first started. Veering away from the busses, I walked to behind the venue as the physical pain in my heart cut off the oxygen in my lungs. I was gasping for breath, tears burning in my eyes, and I reached out a hand to grasp the brick of the building.

"Y/N!"

Malcolm's frantic voice called from behind; or in front? No, from the side?

Everything around me became hazy, fading to darkness as it gripped itself around my throat squeezing the life from me.

"Y/N," his soft hands on my face brought me back from the void as I stared up at his emerald eyes; filled with concern.

I pushed his hands away. "Leave me alone, Malcolm."

"Stop," he demanded as I tried to walk away, his large frame standing in front of me again. "What the fuck happened?"

"It's none of your business," I gritted out through clenched teeth.

I wasn't irritated with Malcolm, more so myself for being a fucking idiot.

"Hey, don't talk to me like that. It's me!" He grabbed my shoulders and gently shook me. "What did you do? I ran into Folio and he told me you and Noah got into a fight."

"Malcolm," my breath wavered as I averted my gaze to my dirty vans.

"Why are you pushing him away, Y/N? Noah cares about you, he would like about something like this."

I swallowed thickly. "Because-shit. I can't get upset about Trey cheating because I'm no better than he is."

I expected Malcolm to rear back in shock or scold me but he didn't. Instead, a small smile pulled at the corner of his lips.

"Chase and I had a bet to see who would tell us about the kiss first. I'm shocked you kept it a secret this long," he smirked.

"How did you know?" I asked dumbfounded.

He shrugged. "Ever since you two came back from Keaton's funeral, you've been happier; brighter. And every time I would watch you, you'd be looking at Noah's lips with a dumb grin on your face."

I playfully smacked his chest which caused him to break out in laugher; one I shared with him. It felt good to get that off of my shoulders.

"Honestly, Y/N,' Malcolm turned serious. "Why are you even with Trey? You know you don't deserve to be treated like this."

"You know why," I stared at him, all the words I couldn't say being held in my gaze.

“Sweets," his old nickname for me was something I hand't expected, and it was enough to break down those walls. "Come on, this band is you. It’s you. They come to see you. We’re in the band with this prick for you. You’re not gonna lose us, Y/N. As for Noah, he’s a good guy. Don’t spin the wheel on him and make him the bad guy when he isn’t.”

I choked out a sob as I wrapped my arms around myself. “I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know. I don’t love Trey, Malcom, I don’t. How can I face Noah now? Everything is so messed up."

Malcolm's arms pulled me into him and I melted, the familiarity of his scent and warmth was exactly what I needed to breathe a little easier. Both him and Chase had been brothers to me the last handful of years, they knew what I needed before I knew myself.

"It’ll get resolved, sweets. It will." His hand smoothed away the hair from my face. "Just give it time, you and him will make amends and either be friends or go about doing whatever you want to do. But, make a choice. Don’t lead him on and don’t punish yourself for the sins of Trey."

"You're right," I sniffled and wiped the snot on the back of my hand.

"Course I am," he now ruffled the hair he just finished smoothing down.

"You've been hanging with Jolly and Noah too much, I think," I giggled while pulling away from him. "You're such a philosopher now."

He wrapped an arm around me and began leading me back to the busses, much to my dismay, but I knew I couldn't avoid Trey forever. I needed to face this head on.

"I hope you had a good birthday before everything went to shit," Malcolm frowned.

"I did," I nodded. "I'm glad you guys told the Bad Omens guys about it. Means a lot."

As Malcolm rambled on about how Chase and him were talking about getting a bigger flat in Los Angeles once tour was over, I kept replaying the words he spoke to me, humming a tune along with him.

Just give it time.. hmm hmmm. And if you and- him, no. And if you and I-  hmmmm.

NOAH

Three days. Three fucking days since I last talked to Y/N, and I was going insane. She wanted space to think about everything and space was exactly what she got. Trey did a great job at keeping her on the bus when they weren't doing soundcheck or playing a show. My phone burned in my hand every time I tried to text her but ended up backing out.

She needed space; I reminded myself but that didn't stop me from what I did last night during our set. Her, Malcolm, and Chase were watching us from side stage and when I felt her dead eyes staring at my back, I looked over my shoulder at her; the words from my song tangling between the webbed connection that was growing stronger every day that passed.

"We're just two wrong souls that met at the wrong time. So just go your way, and I'll go mine. You'll be alone with someone new until the day that you die and I'll watch from afar to make sure you're alright."

Y/N rubbed her elbows and turned her back to me, leaving my line of sight.

I expected her to text me after that but she didn't. Chase reassured me she was fine and told me not to worry, she would come around eventually.

The darkness that filled her usually bright eyes was the only thing that stared back at me now as I hung out in the green room, hours before our show. I was talking with Jolly when her soft voice carried into the room, broken reflection staring behind me in the mirror I was standing in front of.

All I saw in those dark eyes was someone who was heartbroken, in love with the idea of who she thought Trey was, that she didn't realize there was a heartbeat standing in front of her, beating and bleeding for only her.

"Shit, I was looking for Trey." She muttered while clutching her sweater close to her chest.

Not only was she spending more time with him, Y/N was back to wearing clothes that hid herself from the world. Anger filled my veins as I kept my eyes on her reflection in the mirror, blowing out a deep breath.

"I don't know why you thought he'd be in here," I said flatly.

Jolly gave me a look of disapproval before shaking his head. "Have you checked the bus?"

Y/N turned towards him. "Uh, yeah. Sorry for bothering you guys."

"You're fine, Y/N," Jolly's soft voice stopped her from leaving the room prematurely. "You're never bothering us, alright? We're here for whatever you need."

"I know you are but," She nodded towards me. "I'd say Noah thinks differently."

"You really want to know what I think?" I spun on my heels to face her.

Her eyes narrowed. "I'm not getting into this with you, Noah. I've been through a lot of shit the last few days, the last thing I need is your dissapointed sighs every time I walk into the room or the way you tell me how you really feel through your lyrics."

"How I really feel?" I scoffed while running a hand over my jaw. "You know how I feel, angel. But you walked away."

"I didn't have a choice, Noah! Trey's my boyfriend!" She snapped.

Gone was any sympathy I felt for the situation. In this moment, all I felt was rage.

"He's cheating on you!" I threw a hand out towards the door of the room. "Where do you think he goes every time he disappears? Surely not getting drunk all the time. If he is, it's with someone sucking his dick, probably."

Y/N's hands shook at her sides. "Fuck you."

"Why are you so hell bent on believing he's the only one for you?" I demanded taking a step towards her.

Jolly, who was still in the room, watched us with careful eyes. He knew we needed to hash things out but still wanted to make sure nothing went too far.

"I have too!" She seethed while pushing me away. "Trey's not as bad as you guys think, okay? He's the one that gave me a place in this band; He believed in me so I have to believe him."

"Do you love him?" I questioned while grasping her hand as it remained on my chest.

She blinked, and for a long moment, said nothing as she thought of her answer. But I never got the answer because Matt poked his head into the room.

"What the fuck, guys! I've been looking everywhere for you. We have this interview with a reporter in two minutes."

"I need a minute," I quipped towards Matt but kept my eyes sternly on Y/N's face.

He went to protest but Y/N slipped away from me, creating more distance.

"No, he doesn't. I'm done with this conversation."

"Angel." I went to reach for her hand but she recoiled back as if I burned her.

"Just stop, okay? I already made my decision. I don't give a fuck if you don't like it but it wasn't your choice. Whatever you wanted to have with me, Noah; it's not going to happen. I'm with Trey because he understands. He knows me; you don't."

She was out of the room before I could digest her words completely.

READER

Everything is so fucked.

I sat on my bunk with my knees pulled to my chest, forehead resting on them, as the tears continued to fall onto the blanket beneath me. My body felt drained of any light or energy from how much I cried the last few days that I wasn't sure how I'd be able to perform tonight. There was only three shows left on tour, maybe fans would understand if we canceled them? Have Ethan post something on social media letting them I didn't feel well and needed the time to recoup?

Right, they'd probably burn our merch because I didn't come out myself and say this.

Wiping the snot and tears on the sleeve of my sweater, I went to tuck myself under the blanket when I heard some commotion from the front area of the bus.

"You sure we're alone?" A quiet but feminine voice spoke.

"Yea, she's probably groveling for that kid's forgiveness right now. Bitch is so obsessed with him, I'm supposed he hasn't kicked her to the curb yet."

Trey.

My heart sank as I sat up a little straighter in my bunk, careful not to make a sound.

"Why are you still with her then? She seems to hold you back from achieving greatness."

Trey snorted. "She's nothing without me, babe. I'm the one that gave her everything she has and she knows it. All Y/N's good for in a hole to stick my dick in but even then all she did was bitch about how much it hurt or wasn't feeling good enough for her. Surprised I even continued to fuck her after she bled on my dick."

My jaw went slack as my heart broke into tiny little pieces, falling into the pits of my stomach.

How could he? Trey knew about my condition, he was there when I got the diagnosis all those years ago and needed a shoulder to cry on. And the bleeding was only because the pain was too much for me. I knew I should have stopped him but I remember biting my cheek, hoping it would subside. Eventually it did, but I didn't know bleeding during sex was a side effect with this condition.

"Thank fuck I wore a condom with her every time," Trey grumbled.

"Well," the women's voice turned sultry. "You don't have to worry about that with me. I can be whatever you want me to be tonight. I'm just so thankful you found me waiting in line for the show tonight. I wished for this."

"You sure you don't want one of those kids from Bad Omens? Their vocalist has a thing for stealing what's mine."

"Oh, please. Noah Sebastian? He's a talentless slender man. I can't believe you guys are touring with them. They're clearly riding your coattails to fame because Noah know's he'll never be the man you are."

Okay, that's it.

Ripping the curtain open, I stormed into the front section of the bus just in time to see Trey forcing his tongue down this girl's throat. I stumbled over my words when I noticed how young she was; she had to be twenty years old.

Ten years younger than Trey.

"What the fuck," I spat.

They both broke apart and while the girl looked shocked as hell seeing me, Trey narrowed his eyes at me.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded.

It took me a few moments to gain my barrings before I finally snapped my gaze towards the young girl. "How old are you? Don't even think about giving me a bullshit answer. I have people that can find out who you are in a matter of minutes."

She shifted on her feet. "Seventeen."

Fuck-make that thirteen years younger than Trey.

"Oh my Hades," I pinched my eyes shut while taking a deep breath.

"Y/N, baby. She was only asking for a picture," Trey tried to explain.

"Of what, your dick?" I snapped.

"Atleast I'm giving him something," the girl crossed her arms over her chest while popping a hip out to look tough.

"Really," I raised a brow. "You have two seconds to get off this bus before security hauls your ass out of here in cuffs with everyone watching that."

She huffed. "I'm not afraid of some security guards."

I hummed while pulling out my phone to take a quick picture of her and Trey's arm wrapped around her neck.

"But I bet your afraid of your parents finding out that you're sneaking onto tour busses with men ten years older."

The girl paled. "You don't know my name, how would my parents find out?"

"No, I may not know your name but social media is a powerful thing," I shook my phone. "All I have to do is post it on my Instagram and one of my half a million followers know you."

"Y/N-," Trey warned.

"Oh you know what," I snapped my fingers. "I bet you follow Trey. Won't be hard to find a blonde."

I made a mock show of scrolling through my phone and continued to ramble on. "Here I thought I was Trey's type; brunette and older. Apparently I was wrong."

"Are you done with your jokes?" Trey groaned while running a hand through his curls.

"Oh, here you are!" I ignored him by holding up my phone in mock victory. My eyes bounced between my phone and the girl. "Your picture doesn't do you justice."

"Wait!" She yelled with her hands out towards me. "Please don't! I'll leave and forget this ever happened."

I smirked while motioning towards the bus. "Let the door hit ya on the way out."

Once alone, I snapped all of my hatred and anger towards Trey. "You're fucking unbelievable! She's a child you disgusting piece of shit!"

"More experienced than you," Trey shrugged.

I blinked, appalled in so many ways. "Why the hell did you even stay with me then, Trey?" I asked.

"A good hole when I couldn't find what I needed."

God, why did I ever think he loved me?

"You're a real asshole," I shook my head. "I can't believe I took your side over his."

That angered him because Trey tossed his jacket off onto the couch before pointing over my shoulder. "You want to talk about me? Lets look what's inside your suitcase."

Storming passed me, he ripped my private suitcase from an empty bunk and tossed the contents all over the floor at my feet. The three gifts Noah has bought be over the last few weeks standing out like a sore thumb.

Trey snatched up the bracelet and necklace. "You wanna talk about me? What the fuck is this?”

“It’s just a bracelet and a necklace. Trey, don’t even say it’s the same." I rolled my eyes, not seeing it the way he was.

"Bullshit," he spat at my feet. "You had no problem fucking keeping it did you? Is this from him?!"

When I didn't answer, he lost it and tossed the jewelry across the bus, his loud voice carrying through the open windows of the bus.

"It is, isn’t it? You had no problem fucking accepting it did you?”

I stood tall against him, this time not backing down as Trey picked up the wolf stuffed animal Noah bought me from the outing at the zoo. "What the fuck is this? Are you ten? You need to sleep with a stuffed animal?"

I choked on a breath when he tossed it out of the window.

"You're not going to turn this on me! You sick fuck!"

“No, I think we will. I’ve known for years you couldn’t hack it. You can act innocent like you haven’t been falling for this other guy this whole fucking time! That arrogant fucking prick thinks his little bring me dupe band is gonna make it."

Trey punched the wall next to him, causing me to jump slightly. "Shit-fuck them and fuck him."

“How dare you!" I pointed a finger at him. "They work fucking hard, harder than you ever have, Trey. Fuck, you're a piece of shit. I can’t believe I've ever cared for you.”

“Fucking ditto baby," Trey chuckled darkly. "You think he’s gonna fall in love with you and magically make your problems go away?"

My hands clenched into fists at my side. "I never said that but-."

"Do you really think this dude is going to want to waste thousands of dollars on implanting something that should fucking work? Christ, that has to be embarrassing for you; go ahead and tell him. I'd love to see if he stays with you."

He paused for a long moment and I was livid, anger pulsing through me he went that low.

Trey took a step towards me, almost getting in my face as his voice dropped. "Noah doesn’t know how fucking broken you are and I bet with all the money in the world, you can't magically fix this."

He motioned towards my body with a limp finger.

"Fuck you, Trey!" I pushed him away from me with all my strength. "Let me clear this up for you and don’t stop me if I talk too fast. It’s my life not yours! And it’s my heart; my soul! It isn’t yours anymore! You’re self destructive so maybe we’re even."

"Remember, baby, I found you when you were nothing, I tried to make you something! Turn you into a star-but now look at you, a fucking bitch on a leash and for who? Him. He just wants to pump and dump ya baby, like so many others."

The sound of skin on skin echoed out of the open windows as I slapped tray across the face, his eyes burning daggers into the ground.

"I fucking hate you. I can't believe I wasted years on someone like you! You fucked me up so bad, how can I ever love someone else without thinking their cheating on me? I'll spend my entire life wondering if I'm good enough for anyone else, does that make you feel good? Knowing that I'm fucked up."

Trye sneered while snapping his head up towards me. "I'll sleep like a fucking baby; something you'll never have."

Another slap followed by another. He took a step towards me while raising his fist and as I prepared myself for the impact, feet pounding on the ground were my saving grace.

"Mother fucker!"

Chase tackled Trey into the wall behind them, forcing his forearm into Trey's neck, cutting off his oxygen. Malcolm was at my side, eyes scanning over me for any injuries; physically there were none but emotionally, I was cut up from the inside out.

Ethan, our manager, must have heard the commotion as well, because he was now standing on the other side of me, eyeing Trey with a questionable gaze.

"Chase, let him go," Ethan spoke slow.

It only made Chase tighten his grip on Trey's throat. "Piece of shit deserves this. He was about to hit, Y/N."

"Deserves. It," Trey choked out with a sickly smile.

I turned away from him, tears falling from my eyes suddenly as the sobs attacked me with such force I fell into Malcolm's arms. Ethan stepped up to Chase and left a gentle hand on his back.

"I can't kick him out unless he's free to leave, Chase."

Trey's eyes widened with either the loss of oxygen or what Ethan said. "You can't."

"We did," Malcolm spoke while rubbing my back. "It's already been decided."

“Hollow souls is my band!” Trey finally got the upper hand over Chase and pushed him away.

When Chase went back to choke him out, I desperately reached for his arm to pull him close to me. I was a distraught mess, and I needed them.

"Three to one motherfucker, you’re out!" Chase held his head high.

Ethan stepped between us while motioning to Trey. "Get your shit packed up, there's a cab already waiting for you."

NOAH

"Do you guys hear that?" Folio said while leaning over his bunk so he could look at me upside down. "It sounds like someones fighting."

I shrugged while pulling out one of my headphones, pausing my music. "Maybe Jolly's watching a movie too loud again?"

"Nope," Jolly leaned down in front of my bunk. "It's coming from Hollow Souls bus."

Scrambling out of my bunk, I pushed passed Jolly to run out of the bus in time to see Trey loading his bags into the back of a cab. As if he could sense me, he threw a dark laugh my way.

"Hey prick! Are you happy now?"

I shrugged with one hand in my worn out blue and white star shorts while the other hand threw up the peace sign and turned my back to him to leave. I made it all of two steps before Trey's voice called behind me.

“I don’t know what the fuck you see in her, anyway!”

That made me turn swiftly on my heels to flip him off. "Every thing you didn’t."

Once the cab drove off, I turned towards Hollow Souls but to see Y/N standing on the last step. Her eyes were red and puffy, hair a disheveled mess from her running her hands through it as some strands stuck to her face because of the tears.

Fuck, I was supposed to be made at her because of our fight earlier but seeing how broken she looked made me want to wrap my arms around her.

"Noah," she choked on my name through sobs. "I-I'm-."

Stay strong. You can't fold because a pretty girl is crying in front of you.

But-.

No buts. She told you whatever you wanted to happen, wasn't going to. She doesn't love you.

"Noah, can we talk," her bottom lip wobbled. "Please."

I shrugged with my hands still deep into my pockets. "Seems like you said everything you needed to say."

As much as my heart was screaming for me to go back, I kept walking towards my bus knowing that I had to get ready; Bad Omens set was starting in less than an hour.

NOAH

"Thanks Seattle! We hope you stick around for Hollow Souls! They're bound to put on a killer show!"

With a final wave towards the crowd, me and the guys ran off the stage just in time to see Malcolm and Chase looking frantic.

"What's wrong with you two?" Folio questioned while wrapping a bandaid around his pinky.

He went a little too hard on the drums tonight and somehow ended up slicing his pinky pretty good.

We all knew that Hollow Souls was panicking since kicking out Trey because not only did they lose their screamer but also their guitar player. He deserved to be fired, and it was a long time coming but now that the venom has cleared from the bands veins, they realized how fucked they were. While we were on stage tonight, I could see Ethan running around with his phone pressed to his ear, trying to figure out replacements.

"We can't find Y/N," Chase ran a hand over his buzzed head.

I nearly dropped the water bottle I was drinking as my stomach dropped out of my ass, heart beating a thousand miles a minute. "What?"

Malcolm ran a hand over his face. "She spun out, man. After you brushed her off earlier, she took off saying she needed some space. She left her phone on the bus and hasn't come back. Chase spent the last hour looking for her. We don't know where she is and we still have to decide what we're going to do about the last few shows."

Jolly squeezed Malcolm's shoulder. "It'll be alright. We'll go look for her."

"No," I shook my head. "You guys stay here, I'll go find her. In the meantime, your guitar tech knows all your songs, right?"

Chase nodded. "Yes, but how does that help for the screams?"

"Nick, have your phone by you so I can call you when I find her," I said, already working my mind on places she could be.

I pointed to Folio next. "You and Jolly head back out on stage to throw out some sticks or guitar picks. Anything to distract the crowd."

Before the doubt could stop me, I barreled through the back door of the venue, the cool air brushing over my heated skin as I looked to the left then to the right.

Where are you, angel?

Suddenly, I remembered something from one of her old live streams she did last year. A fan asked her where she liked to go when she needed time to think.

"Oh, thats easy," she answered with zero hesitation. "The rooftop of the venue were playing or the rooftop of my apartment. I love looking out at the vastness of the city almost like I'm Zeus staring down at all the other demi Gods."

My feet traveled faster than my brain did as I ran around back, quickly finding the ladder that lead to the rooftop. I climbed with ease and reached the top in a matter of seconds, eyes scanning for the long hair that I dreamed of.

There.

Sitting on the ledge with her head in her hands was Y/N, body shaking with sobs. I approached slowly, not wanting to scare her.

"Angel."

She hastily rose to her feet while wiping away the tears. "Noah? How'd you find me?"

"I remembered you said you enjoyed sitting on rooftops; almost like you're Zeus."

Through the tears and pain etched in her face, the briefest of smiles poked through until she remembered everything that happened a few hours ago. Even through the mess of make up, knotted hair, and blotchy skin, I wanted to grab her face to crash my lips to hers.

"I was an idiot," she sobbed. "I should have believed you about Trey but I was so blinded by the lies he spewed. Everything was a lie. He never loved me and I knew I never loved him."

As much as I wanted to talk, I decided it would be best if I stayed quiet so she could let everything out.

"He was the venom inside of me, draining me of my light and soul. I let him do that; let him change who I was. God, I'm so stupid!" She covered her face with shaking hands. "I can't believe I believed him over you!"

"Angel," I said again in a soft voice.

She either didn't hear me or didn't bother to stop. "You know, deep down I knew he was cheating. Where the fuck does he disappear to all the time? But I stayed with him because I thought no one would want me with what's wrong. I'm broken, every part of me unfixable, and Trey made me think no one would want to spend the money or time."

Y/N kept rambling on, not letting me get a word in, so instead I pulled her into my embrace, hand resting on her back while she buried her face into my shirt, gripping ti with all her might.

"I'm so sorry. I should have believed you. I'm such a fucking idiot."

I laid a soft kiss to the top of her head before tilting her chin up towards me. "You're not an idiot, angel. You said it yourself, you were blinded by who you thought Trey was."

She sniffled as I wiped the tears away. "But you never lied to me; there was no reason for you too. I said some hurtful things to you, Noah. I don't understand how you could ever forgive me for that?"

"Water under the bridge," I shrugged with a light chuckle, hoping it would ease the mood.

It didn't.

"I don't want to lose you, Noah. I can't lose you." She sobbed again.

I cupped her face this time, forcing our gazes to lock. "You won't. I forgive you."

"Wh-what?" She stammered.

"I forgive you, angel."

Earlier this afternoon, I hadn't planned on forgiving her this soon. But I suppose one step of my maturity is how seamless it was to accept the apology. Usually, I'd sit there, let the person ramble some bullshit I knew wasn't true. However, now, I sat up straight when I looked into those eyes, those eyes I felt deep in my gut weren't lying. She truly has been conditioned, like some kind of Stockholm Syndrome and I understood all too well what that was like. I lived that for years-desolate.

Seeing Y/N crying, broken, and afraid of losing me for the choices someone else made, I decided I would not be a boy. I was a man, a grown man, one of little words when I couldn't stop overthinking. However, I decided that communication was key; it's what gotten the band this far.

I was going to be a man, a man she deserved to have in her life; no matter what it cost me.

"You do?" Y/N peered up at me through lashes. "You don't, I don't know-hate me?"

"No," I said firmly, hands still gripping her face.

Her wet eyes sparkle with the setting sun. "Not at all? I-."

"Stop, angel. Stop," I stood taller. "I will not lash out at you to get even. I'm not going to make you get on your knee's and grovel either. We had an argument, discussed the situation. You apologized, I forgave you, and we made up."

"Just liek that?" Y/N wondred.

I brushed a kiss across her forehead, breathing in her scent. "Just like that, angel. I'm not him. I see the road ahead of me and I choose to take the high one."

Her grip on my hips tighted, almost afraid I would change my mind and walk away; never in a million years could I walk away from her. We were connected so deep, our souls would fade to the earth benethe our feet if we were to lose one another.

"Well, I must confess Noah; this is all new to me. I'm letting my guard down to let you in. I've been trying to sleep at night to avoid this thing between us, whatever the hell it is. You're the one at the foot of my bed trying to keep me alive at night."

My heart damn near soar so high into my throat, I was afraid I'd choke on it.

We stayed like that for a long few moments; me rocking her softly in my arms, until reality struck causing me to switch from my embrace around her to linking our fingers together.

"Come on, you've got a room full of fans waiting for you," I tugged her along.

"Shit," she cursed. "How the hell am I supposed to explain to them what happened to Trey?"

The corner of my lips lifted in a smile. "Well, think of something."

READER

"Hey, Seattle?! How are we feeling?" I spoke into the microphone.

My throat was raw from all the crying I'd been doing that I could barley speak, let alone sing.

The crowd cheered wildly, ready to watch Hollow Souls perform. It didn't even bother them I was still dressed in a pair of black sweatpants and a matching crop top sweater.

"Well, unfortunately Chase, Malcolm, and I have some news," the crowd's cheers went dead silent as I pointed to Chase on one side of me and Malcolm on the other. "As you can see, Trey isn't on the stage with us. Because of personal reasons, he's no longer apart of Hollow Souls."

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop from the streets outside. I swallowed my nerves, forcing myself to continue with what I knew I had to say next.

"So with that being said, we as a trio have decided to-."

Suddenly, loud cheers and applause reverberated in my ears as I watched Noah run onto the stage, holding up a hand in the air.

"Excited to see me again, Seattle?"

I blinked at him, confused why he was on stage again. "What are you doing?" I mouthed.

"Well, it seems like Hollow Souls need a fill in for tonight?" Noah briefly ignored me to continue speaking to the crowd.

This time the screams were so loud, I was sure some glasses broke on the bar in the back of the room.

"If it's alright with my beautiful friend here," Noah smirked at me. "I'd love to fill in. We've got your guitar tech filling in for Trey."

I then saw Mike, our tech, give me a small wave. Everything was happening so fast, I barley had time to register Malcolm stole the microphone from me. "Yes, Noah I accept. We would love your help for tonight."

As he walked past me to prepare himself to fill in, I placed a hand on his stomach. "Thank you."

He brought the hand from his stomach to his lips, pressing soft kisses along each knuckle. "Anything for you, angel."

Holy shit. I thought Hollow Souls sounded amazing with Trey but I was wrong; so fucking wrong. Noah was something I never thought I needed; personally and professionally. They way we sang together, the energy palpable. It was nothing like I ever experienced with Trey. The way Noah and I connected with our vocal ranges, hell even our fucking souls were connected that much I knew. But as Noah screamed out hte last line of our final song, I swallowed hard when those scary, unknown feelings hit me.

I love him.

[rottenpumpkin13]

I mean if you really think about it. Technically Chadley is kind of Sephiroth's little brother

Anon you are so right. Unfortunately we don't have it it canon, but highlights of their sibling bond would include:

• Sephiroth frequently gifting Chadley toys and other trinkets he himself was deprived of during childhood because he wants to make sure Chadley doesn't go through that. Chadley has more Lego sets and two-person games than he knows what to do with.

• Chadley going to Sephiroth for real world advice and getting trolled in grand older brother fashion.

Chadley: I think I may have romantic feelings for Professor Hojo's new intern.

Sephiroth: How so?

Chadley: Whenever I'm around her, I have heart palpitations, my vision blurs, I become sweaty and my speech is slurred.

Sephiroth: You've just described a stroke.

Chadley:

Sephiroth: You can have the same symptoms by consuming a double bacon cheeseburger.

Chadley:

Sephiroth: Which is much more fulfilling than romance, in my opinion.

• While researching "ways brothers bond," Chadley found funny videos of siblings jump scaring each other. He now frequently hides behind corners, donning a scary mask or fake blood, to scare Sephiroth. He finds it hilarious when Sephiroth gasps and clutches his heart. Sephiroth, in turn, isn't sure when he'll ever stop pretending to be scared, but he doesn't care. He likes seeing Chadley happy.

• Chadley steals Sephiroth's music taste, much to Hojo's chagrin, since the kid likes to blast the heavy metal and obscure goth music in the labs.

• Stealing each other's food.

*They're walking when Chadley's shoelaces come undone*

Chadley: Hold my sandwich for me please.

Sephiroth: Sure.

*Chadley bends down to tie his shoes. When he stands up, his sandwich is gone*

Chadley: I told you to hold it!

Sephiroth: I'm holding it in my stomach.

• Chadley uses social media for researching/ mimicking "sibling behavior" and likes to replicate things he sees. This is how he ended up on a "fun ways to annoy your brother" video. Sephiroth now gets sprayed with water—like a cat—at random when he's trying to rest.

• Chadley's excited rambling about materia and his research is never reprimanded by Sephiroth, who listens happily, remembering how he wished he had someone to listen to him gush about his interests when he was a child.

• Chadley is helping Professor Hojo assess Sephiroth in the labs. When Hojo's back is turned, Charley socks Sephiroth in the arm. Sephiroth, annoyed, punches him right back. Hojo turns around right as Chadley gets punched.

Hojo: Honestly Sephiroth. I expected better from you.

Sephiroth: But he hit me first.

Chadley: He bullies me constantly, Professor.

Sephiroth: !?

• When the labs feel suffocating or Professor Hojo is being particularly difficult, Chadley likes to escape to the 49th floor and use Sephiroth's office as a quiet spot. Sephiroth isn't always there, but when he is he makes sure to distract Chadley and give him the attention he needs. Eventually Sephiroth gives him a spare access card to his apartment if Chadley ever needs it.

• This later evolves into sleepovers.

• They constantly take advantage of their height difference—Chadley through piggyback rides and Sephiroth through fun methods of discipline.

*Lazard walks by Sephiroth's office and sees Sephiroth sitting on Chadley*

Lazard: What in Shiva's name are you doing??

Sephiroth: I caught him trying to go to Wall Market.

Chadley: It's for RESEARCH.

Sephiroth: Clearly he's at the age where he needs to be monitored lest he falls victim to recreational drugs and gang activity.

Chadley: I was just going to conduct a survey! GET OFF ME!

Sephiroth: Struggling will do nothing but amuse me.

• Not even Sephiroth is safe from your little sibling stealing your stuff.

*Chadley walks in with a shiny device in his hand*

Sephiroth: Is that my transmuter?

Chadley: No.

Sephiroth: It says Sephiroth on the back.

Chadley: No it doesn't.

Sephiroth: Chadley, I'm looking right at it.

Chadley: So? You don't even use it.

Sephiroth: Just because I don't regularly use something doesn't mean you can take it without permission.

Chadley: Hm. I guess I should probably give this back.

*Chadley places Masamune on the table*

Sephiroth: HOW—?

• Other SOLDIERs and troopers on missions with Sephiroth have reported seeing his face "light up" whenever he gets a call from Chadley.

[pinkyjulien]

It's been rotating in my head all morning and since I have to wait a few hours to get my day started, might as well throw my two cents in a proper post

We really should talk about Kerry Eurodyne

Now before you run off, I think it's important to point something out; As a fandom veteran who been here since early 2021, I think others will agree when I say that the discourse surrounding Kerry has always been a hot topic that comes back around every few weeks- but why does it keep coming back?

I'm well placed to know that ignoring a problem and not talking about it publicly doesn't solve anything; everyone is quick to throw assumption and accusations, to make "callout" post, to blow things out of proportions, to take someones's squick as personal attack, and the mob mentality does the rest; everyone follow whoever is going to be the loudest about an ongoing "fandom drama"

This isn't an attempt to show anyone that they're "wrong" or "right"; there is no right or wrong in this recurring discourse. This post is an attempt at opening an healthy and mature conversation! I come in peace gfhgfh

Prefacing this by saying that I'm not a Kerry fan, and I'm not bisexual. So why the hell do I care? Well to be frank, I don't particularly care, I have my own opinions on the character, but I do care (to an extent) about this "community" and I hate seeing what happened to me happen to others, especially new commers who never meant anything wrong. Nobody deserves to be bullied out of a fandom for sharing their opinions on their own blog/space!

Alright this intro was long but let's get on it- buckle up cause this is going to be a looooot of rambling

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Through the years/months, I've noticed something rather sad; this isn't a debate between bisexual people vs biphobic people, as a lot of people might think and assume; this has always been queer people sharing, sometimes in a really awkward and hurtful way, their interpretation of a character (don't block me yet, please hear me out)

Those who know me knows that I personally care a lot about the canon and writers's visions, so first I want to share some posts about Kerry made by his literal "parents"

Mateusz Tomaszkiewicz, Narrative Designer at CDPR, shared informations on the different romance interest back in December 2020, on the game's release day

When asked about a MLM relationship option, here what he states:

(don't leave just yet)

On a now-deleted comment, RTalsorianGames, original creator of the Cyberpunk tabletop game and by definition original creator of Kerry Eurodyne, stated the following:

Please note that CDPR did in fact consult with Mike himself about Kerry being a MLM exclusive romance!

(Also this isn't a debate about if Kerry cares about V or not, let's not derail this conversation, remember that everyone is allowed to interpret a character and a relationship as they wish)

I wanted to share these tweets to point something really important; there is no "right" or "wrong" label for Kerry, and it all boils down to interpretation < key word

Kerry have multiple states; we HAVE to remember Kerry exist in some kind of cyberpunk multiverse!

We have his 2020 and 2023 self that are confirmed to be bisexual; this is the Kerry Mike and RTalsorian created, the Kerry they have full control and say over; the same young Kerry we see in Johnny's flashback

And then comes his 2077 self, which we see confirmed above as labeled as Homosexual (which again as been approved by Mike himself)

I personally think it's important to start with what his different creators have to say; Kerry is both Mike's and CDPR's character; Kerry is both labeled as being Bisexual and Homosexual

There is a lot of reasons why this change / evolution was made, even tho we all know the main reason; they needed a MLM romance in the game to complete the LI roster. But why take an already established character, a Bi character even, for the Gay romance?

I've seen a lot of people saying that CDPR erased his bisexuality, I understand why it might feel like this, but I don't think it's true or fair! Again, remember that Mike gave his OK for this; he could've at any moment said no, Kerry is HIS baby first and foremost

In game, we learn about Kerry's ex wife and kids; this is something CDPR could've not included at all (and THIS would've been erasing his bisexuality imo) it's not even something that is said out loud, but something to be found by dedicated fans; it's here on purpose, to give depth to the character and to his personal life!

We also see a couple of feminine clothes around his villa; let's not assume anything here, clothes have no genders especially in the 2077 setting, but it can also well point at one-night stand with women and/or multi-gender orgies for example

But, this won't be anything new or controversial, Kerry pushes femV advances in game- this is simply a fact! Like it or not, that's how CDPR's writers, RTAL and Mike decided to evolve Kerry's character for the game; everyone was ok with this

━

Now comes the root of the debate; Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV? and is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?

No, and no - (don't leave just yet, please read a bit more)

Remember that I'm "just" a gay man, I've had discussion with friends of all gender and orientation about this topic and it's been enlightning to hear the different opinions on the matter!

As previously mentioned, it all boils down to Interpretation.

The discourse recently came back because someone shared their uncomfortableness regarding mods that change Kerry's preferences; in the post tags, OP made sure to say that everyone was free to do anything, to ship anything, and that this was just their opinion; but obviously the fandom didn't read that part and started to throw accusation around, and here we are (I shouldn't have to remind people that we all are free to share whatever on our respective blogs, if it hurts you just block the person, don't jump them)

OP is a Bisexual Man; a lot of other Bisexual Men related to this post and rebloged it, sharing their thoughts in the tags (I also rebloged it, I know it caused a few people to back off and block me as a result, which I respect totally)

Going to pick up my questions back up to hopefully state my opinions and "analyses" of the situation as clear as possible

Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV?

No, it's not

Kerry is bisexual, he was married to a women, and potentially still have sex with women and fem individuals, these infos are all canon in game.

Kerry pushes femV flirts away; but since he experience attraction to women, who is to say that in someone's own canon, their fem OC isn't a V, and doesn't have Johnny involved, changing how Kerry and their OC meet drastically; Kerry could fall in love with her! He could; he's bisexual after all.

Is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?

No, it's not

Kerry has a clear preference for men; CDPR choose to show this multiple time in the game, during Johnny's flashback we can see him make out with a masc fan, we can see him being vulnerable with Johnny (imo, his lil crush is showing hard)

I personally haven't seen it/heard it in game, but I've been told that after learning about Kerry's ex-wife, Johnny has a vocal, surprised reaction, has if imagining Kerry with a woman is strange to him

However, there is a lot of biphobic things being said in the discourse, and not in the way you might think of

I thankfully never see the full extent of it; I don't see the obviously biphobic takes, stating that Kerry SHOULD NEVER be with a femV, people being nasty and ATTACKING femV/Kerry shippers; this is never ok, these have been blocked for a long time now

But I sadly see the other takes, which always icked me a bit; the takes that say, "you bisexuality isn't worth of respect if it isn't a 50/50 attraction at all time", takes that are sadly biphobic in nature (making it clear that I'm not pointing finger at anyone, nor am I accusing anyone of being biphobic)

This is what it boils down to, I think, this is the root of the problem

As mentioned before, a lot of Bisexual Men expressed their uncomfort when it comes to femV/Kerry mods; it invalidated Kerry's preference. But this isn't about Kerry, he's fictional, he CANT be hurt by anything, by mods or art or whatever; It invalidate Bisexual Men that share the same preference in Men, Bisexual men that related to Kerry for X or Y.

Bisexuality is a spectrum, queer people has been fighting against Bi erasure for years, but also against Bi stereotypes; and I think this is one of them? (Please correct me if I'm wrong)

Bisexuality isn't a strict 50/50 split preference- it can be! But 60/40, 20/80 and even 99/1 attractions are still Bisexual attractions. I've met a lot of queer people who, despite being bisexual by definition, choose not to label as such (prefering to label as straight or gay depending on their preferences) just because of this "bisexual police" imposing a strict 50/50; "How can you be bisexual, you've only dated men/women" etc

This is what is being imposed in the fandom, this is how it might looks like to people; when you attack a Bisexual Man sharing his uncomfort in seeing people not respecting a Bisexual character's preference, you're telling them "Hey, your bisexuality isn't valid if you have a preference". You're telling them "Your bisexuality isn't correct". You're showing them that you "fixed" a "flawed" bisexual character "that got erased as gay for having a preference" by "modding his bisexuality back"

Kerry being written as MLM exclusive in Cyberpunk 2077 isn't bi erasure; he's still Bisexual, he simply has a strong preference for Men. A preference that he always had, but that can also be amplified after his divorce with his ex wife, for multiple reasons; I also don't have to point out how many queer people in real life explored their homosexuality after being in a hetero-marriage for most of their lives! And that's ok, queer love is an ever evolving spectrum, and I think it's awesome we get more fleshed out characters that explore this in depth

I've seen people compare Kerry to Johnny, and I don't think it's fair; for the simple reason that Kerry is a romance option and Johnny is not.

Johnny express a clear preference for women; however he replies to V (and flirt, in some case) the same way regardless of gender! Kerry on the other end, as previously said, pushed femV's advanced away. Something Johnny can't do since he's not a romance option; tho if he was, and if he was pushing mascV advances away, it would be the exact same situation and same problematic!

Another character that is canonly bisexual is Goro; he replies to V's flirt through text messages the exact same way, he doesn't seem to express any preferences (and no, his "obligation in japan" isn't necessarily a wife, this is heteronormative and another problem all together, not the subject here)

People can express being uncomfortable seeing Johnny with a given gender, or Goro with a given gender; but there isn't any """reason""" to it outside of personal preferences

Kerry situation is problematic because it lies in his clearly, canonly stated preference, how people decide to interpret it, and how it can come off to other queer people who might share sexuality and/or preference with the character

━

Everyone is free to ship whoever however they want

But please; remember that everyone is different. People being uncomfortable with a character bisexuality preference being ""fixed"" shouldn't be too surprising; and if it is, please re-read my post/ You have to be ok with this fact, it's OK to make content that might be uncomfortable for others; this is fiction!

There isn't any Right or Wrong way to be bisexual, to be queer Kerry's bisexuality is perfectly fine; unmodded or modded Everyone is Different; Every Queer experiences is different People relate to characters in different way

Nobody is being misoginist; there isn't any double standard at play

Bisexual people sharing their opinions on their own blogs on how a fandom handle a character's bisexuality isn't biphobic, or an attack to anyone who interpret the character differently!

I promise you nobody is attacking anyone, and a lot of things being said accidently comes off as biphobic on both sides of this eternal "debate"

It all comes down to respecting others interpretations, and agreeing to disagree! Tumblr's filtering system work great, you can easily filter and block tags, or even people if needed

I might've said things awkwardly, and for this I apologise; but don't put words I didn't say into my mouth! If you don't agree, that's fine, and you're more than welcome to filter/block me if needed; but please do not paint me as biphobic or misoginist, same goes to everyone who shared their thoughts on the matter, these are serious accusation and can wrongfully hurt a lot of people

Ship and let Ship, take care of yourselves and remember to curate your space 🙏