#trans and autistic

[tatersgonnatate]

Every day of the year, not just during Pride Month. Trans and GNC lives are ALWAYS important and ALWAYS relevant.

(Photo by me at a local pride parade)

[kiddie-boi]

I wrote a kids book!

its about a more positive version of my experience growing up autistic and having a "strange" smile

hope you like it! and if you do please share! Id like to be able to make it a real life book one day and I can only do that with your support 💚

[autistic-people-are-awesome]

source: https://autismcats.tumblr.com/

[anonymouslydisabled]

comment or reblog this with your favorite story of being clearly autistic in childhood, bonus points if it was before you were diagnosed (or if you currently aren’t diagnosed) my personal favorite is having intense co-sleeping problems until I was 11 and having a full sobbing meltdown over my parents getting rid of a couch!

[coreyjaechicken]

Hello Void!

Sometimes I hate that I can’t get diagnosed.

I hate the imposter syndrome.

I hate that I know some diagnosed autistic folks think I shouldn’t say that I’m autistic and that I should say that I think I’m autistic.

In 5 years am I still supposed to say “I think I’m autistic.”?

How about in 10?

15?

Am I still supposed to say “Well I could be autistic, but I’m unsure.”?

Because I am not unsure.

Yeah I have moments of uncertainty, mostly brought on by imposter syndrome, but doesn’t everyone?

Am I supposed to deny that part of me because I don’t have a diagnosis?

What do I do if I can never get a diagnosis?

I don’t trust lawmakers even if I’m in a blue state.

What happens if that changes and I did get my diagnosis?

I don’t want to struggle to transition because I have a diagnosis.

And that’s a possibility with all of the anti-trans shit that’s happening.

I am not willing to risk my transition for a diagnosis.

I don’t currently need accommodations either.

So why do I need a diagnosis to say “I’m autistic.”?

[neomedievalistbr]

not even 10 minutes into zeta gundam and the protagonist (kamille) got angry bc a guy mockingly said his name "is a girl's name, but surprise, it's a guy"

[joyboythehopepunk]

not meant for me

maybe i am just one of those people who are not meant to find a lover.

or a friend.

because i am one of those people.. who is only attracted to a very specific subset of women. who look a certain way. and maybe it is trauma. maybe it is autism.

but i have always been like that. and i have fought it my whole life. to be "reasonable" about it.

but i am hurt and disappointed every time.

they say beggars can't be choosers

then i'll die alone, i guess.

[rebelnori]

It's hard being neurodivergent and also not fitting into the gender binary. I don't have any friends or family who understand gender the way I do nor who I feel safe to explore myself around. But I also can't just go out and make friends. I've tried. Whenever I try joining groups with similar interests or specifically for trans people, I find people I enjoy hanging out with but ultimately just stop hanging out eventually. I can never get past the acquaintance phase. It's like no matter how long I hang out with people, I never feel like I can get to know them or them get to know me. And then of course that leads me back to the fact that I don't feel that I can explore who I am by myself. I need someone around so we can build each other up together. But I don't think that's ever going to happen.

[semispeaking-nova]

A poem about identity and living as yourself, whoever that may be.

TW: mentions of politics, implied ableism, implied classroom ableism, please tell me if I need to add more!

My identity is a political statement.

A statement made of anger and hatred.

A statement made of joy and love.

A statement that is used to misinform, and a statement that is used to educate.

My identity is a political statement.

From the moment I found out I fit all of these labels, I was thrilled.

If only I knew that these labels would come with warnings, that these labels would come with clothing already attached that I couldn't get rid of.

These labels would come with words and ideas of people like me, people who are different.

Different, that's another label.

The only thing that's different is how my brain works.

I'm different in the same way that liking red rather than blue is different. But because my brain processes things differently, I'm labeled as different.

I'm labeled as difficult, annoying, naive, emotionless, dramatic.

I'm labeled as quiet, attentive, kind, a joy to have in class, gifted.

I've got all of these labels. All of these things that other people have given me.

Things that I don't want.

Things that I want more than anything in the world.

Things that will never be true.

Things that will be true forever.

My identity is a political statement.

I don't speak, and I'm labeled as quiet.

I use my iPad to speak, and I'm labeled as brave, as different.

I don't move at all, and I'm labeled as obedient.

I move too much and I'm labeled as annoying, as disruptive.

My identity is a political statement.

People are voting to take away my rights.

They're voting to make it impossible for me to be the person I want, need to be.

People are saying that people like me shouldn't exist, that we are a disease.

My identity is a political statement.

Every single action that I make is scrutinized under a microscope.

Talk too much and I'm labeled as disruptive. Talk too little and I'm labeled as lazy, as not trying hard enough.

What will be enough?

How do I know when it is enough?

How do I know when I am enough?

How will I know when I can stop being a statement, and start being me?

Start being Nova?

Quiet, kind, helpful Nova?

Disruptive, annoying, not trying enough Nova?

How long will it be until all I am is Nova?

Until I'm no longer a statement?

Until the labels that have found me are no longer attached to clothing that others have made, and are instead attached to clothing that I have made myself?

Until people who are like me don't have to fight for who they are anymore?

When do I get to be…Nova?

My identity is a political statement.

I wish it wasn't.

[warren-wayne-kyle]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!!

[rosedominatesyou]

Foreplay with a robot girl where I slowly keep removing RAM from her while she’s still trying to tell me about the things she’s into

[badassbutterfly1987]

2023 Book Reviews (July to December)

5 stars

- Midwives (Bohjalian, 1997): A midwife is accused of negligence and manslaughter after a woman in her care dies during a home birth. The mother seemingly had a stroke and an emergency C-section was required to save the baby; the question is raised if she was indeed dead when the C-section happened or if the midwife had accidentally killed her, as well if the mother was even healthy enough to be having a home birth far from a hospital. Told from the perspective of the midwife’s teenage daughter.

- Raptor Red (Bakker, 1995): Follows a year in the life of a female Utahraptor, drawing inspiration from various paleontology theories at the time. Think Meerkat Manor but about a raptor and her family. Obviously I loved it.

3 stars

- The Haunting of Maddy Clare (Simone St James, 2012): the ghost stuff was mostly well done. Maddy is angry and hurting and I don't blame her for being so hostile. Didn't like her dialogue, it felt very "Crazy=Dangerous=Monster" in a way that just felt generic horror villain which doesn't sit right knowing that this is a traumatized victim. Sarah and Matthew have a Hallmark-level romance but it isn't even decent Hallmark. Every conversation until the last third features some kind of misunderstanding they don't resolve. First sex scene between the leads is technically okay but the complete lack of communication makes consent feel more dubious (just because Sarah’s inner dialogue is fine with it, doesn’t make Matthew’s lack of even checking in okay, especially in light of their repeated misunderstandings). The post-WWI trauma was pleasantly well-done, physical disabilities in Matthew and Alistair were a more mixed bag.

2 stars

- In the Shadow of the Throne (Kate Sheridan, 2022): I really wanted to like this graphic novel. It’s cute and gay and a teen boy is isekai’d to a fantasy world but there’s not much substance. Not nearly enough time to hit all the plot points so everything feels rushed; dialogue and relationships don’t proceed naturally. Art style is nice at least.

Nonfiction: 

- Monsters in the Movies: 100 Years of Cinematic Nightmares (Landis, 2011): Encyclopedia of horror and horror-adjacent movies that author has seen. He shares his opinions on them but offers little beyond surface analysis. 

- Living with Cannibals and Other Women’s Adventures (Michele Slung, 2000): Introduction to various female explorers. Decent intro but each chapter felt like a basic book report on each woman.

- The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Drawing Manga (Sonia Leong, 2023): Good lessons here for anyone interesting in the subject. 

- Trans and Autistic (Noah Adams + Bridget Liang, 2020): The experiences of people who are both trans and autistic and how those parts of their identity have afffected their lives. Definitely of interest to me as someone who is definitely one and possibly the other as well.

- A Wolf Called Romeo (Nick Jans, 2014): About a lone wolf in Alaska who was chill with people and really just wanted to play with the local dogs; fair warning the ending made me cry.

- Becoming Nicole (Amy Ellis Nutt, 2015): The life story of transgender actress and activist Nicole Maines.

- Notes from a Sickbed (Tessa Brunton, 2022): a graphic novel about the author’s experiences with chronic fatigue syndrome.

- Little Girls in Pretty Boxes (Joan Ryan, 1995): about the pressure put on young girls and teenagers in competitive gymnastics and iceskating (especially those aiming for the Olympics), and the consequences of that pressure.

[autistic-people-are-awesome]

*reminder: I know the authors of this article meant nothing but respect & kindness BUT we say gender not gender “identity” weather you are talking about a cis or trans person, k?

Resource Guide

Gender and autism: What the autistic community wants you to know

June 1st, 2021

AutismBC

Reading time: 4 minutes

  For Autistic Adults; Allies

Autistic Adults

Blog

There is no wrong way to enjoy Pride, and we encourage everyone in the autism community to take some time to reflect on the challenges those around you face. We hope this resource blog encourages our community to foster greater understanding and compassion.

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The autism community has a large and diverse representation within it, including a large number of people within the greater LGBTQ+ community. It is possible that autism is overrepresented among LGBTQ+ because autistic people are less likely to bow to social pressures that keep other people from coming out. Perhaps they are less likely to identify with social “norms” and pressures and therefore present themselves authentically. By listening to and acknowledging our autistic peers, we can gain a better understanding of the uniqueness of the human experience.

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Awareness in assessment and medical teams working with autistic people is very important. They should be sensitive to different information processing/communication styles as well as different gender identities. Some autistic people may struggle to express their feelings regarding gender. Even when they do express their feelings, they often face doubts from clinicians because of stereotypes about autistic people, which can block their access to medical care.

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Let’s start with the basics!

What is gender diversity?

Some people do not feel fully masculine or feminine, and explicitly reject the notion of two mutually exclusive genders.

Gender divergent (variant/non-conforming): someone who does not conform/identify with their assigned gender but may/may not consider themselves trans.

Some trans people opt to alter their bodies via hormones or surgery, those who identify as genderqueer or non-binary may adopt a name and pronouns that better reflect their sense of self, without physically changing their bodies.

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What are some challenges currently facing the Autistic LGBTQ+ community?

Limited or restricted access to safe opportunities to explore sexuality/gender identity.

Bullying

A lack of resources and safe places specific to Autistic LGBTQ+

Missing, absent, or incomplete sexual language and education

A lack of belief and affirming support for their feelings and/or expressed identity.

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What support is needed for the Autistic LGBTQ+ community?

Information about sexuality, gender, and relationships should be given clearly from a young age

There should be comprehensive and inclusive sex education

Programs for people on the spectrum should include information about LGBTQ+ communities to help young autistic people navigate their sexuality and gender.

LGBTQ+ groups and communities should be more intentionally proactive and inclusive of neuro-diverse people.

We should all highlight struggles attaining an assessment or diagnosis due to masking, not being taken seriously, or heard.

We need to highlight the importance of Pride, visibility, and how to be an ally. We are not there yet despite some progress being made.

Let’s empower parents and families with how to use language.

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“Autistic people are more likely to be gender-diverse, but most problems they encounter with such identities are societal and systemic in nature. Gender affirmation and support from friends, family, and health services to clear those barriers can often be the difference between life and death for a gender-diverse Autistic person.” – Gee Abraham, Nov. 2019 . .

Now, let’s get into the resources. We have them broken up into categories so you can find the ones you need when you want them.

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Resources

Autism, Gender, Identity & Sexuality

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Overlap Between Autism & Gender Diversity – Laura Dattaro

Gender and Sexuality in Autism, Explained – Laura Dattaro

Respect Sexual Orientation, Gender Diversity in Autism – John Strang

Access to Better Sex Education – Steven Stagg

Living Between Genders – Deborah Rudacille

Autism & Gender – Gee Abraham

Nonbinary & Autistic: What’s it Like? – NeuroClastic

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Genderbread Person v4 or

English-Gendy_New-2.0.pdf (egale.ca)

Autigender – LGBTA Wiki

Neurogender – LGBTA Wiki

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Relationship Between Autism & Gender; An Autistic Perspective – Lyric Holmans

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Support toolkits

Gender Equity & LGBTQ2S+ Resources – Government of BC

LGBTQ2S+ Toolkit – AIDE Canada

Dancing to Eagle Spirit Society

LQBTQ+ Immigrant & Refugee Resources – Mosaic

When Autistic Students Are LGBTQ2+ – Wendy McGuire & Dori Zener

Transgender Nonbinary Student Guide

Aide Canada Gender Based Violence Toolkit

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Social Support & Connection:

QMUNITY – BCs Queer, Trans & Two-Spirit Resource Centre

What’s On Queer BC

Two-Spirit & Indigenous LGBTQQIA Support Circle – Native Youth Sexual Health Network

Creative Diversity Friends Club

Sydney and Kirra’s LGBTQ+ Social Group

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Reading List:

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Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Neurodiversity – Dana Vilker

Trans and Autistic: Stories from Life at the Intersection

Spectrums: Autistic Transgender People in Their Own Words

The Autistic Trans Guide to Life @Website pls add

Misfit: Changemaker with an Edge: Souvaliotis, Andreas: 9780992029500: Books – Amazon.ca

Queerly Autistic – Be proudly autistic. Be proudly queer. Be proudly you.

Self-Advocates & Advocacy Groups:

Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWN)

Lydia X. Z. Brown

Neurodivergant Rebel

Life as a Transgender Autistic: Passing and Masking – August Queue

Alistair – HParadox

Noah Adams

Trans Newcomers Resource Hub – Mosaic

Autistic & Trans – Facebook Group

Gay and on the Autism Spectrum – Eric Ascher

Hashtags to Follow:

#WeAreNotConfused #DifferentNotLess #LateNotLess #Autistic

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Crisis Supports:

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Trans Lifeline – (877)330-6366 (In Canada)

Tran lifeline - (877) 330-6366 (In U.S.A.)

Línea directa in español

La línea directa de Trans Lifeline es un servicio telefónico de apoyo dirigido por personas transgénero para las personas transgénero y/o que están cuestionando su género. Creemos que el mejor apoyo que las personas Trans pueden recibir es el de los miembros de la comunidad Trans con experiencias de vida compartidas.

Llámanos si necesitas a alguien Trans con quien hablar, incluso si no estás en crisis o no sabes con certeza si eres transgénero.

Marca al (877) 565-8860 en los Estados Unidos o al (877) 330-6366 en Canadá y oprime el #2 para conectarte con operadorxs que hablan español.

310-Mental Health – 310-6789 (no area code needed) YouthinBC – 604-872-3311 (in BC)

Genderbread Person v4 or  

English-Gendy_New-2.0.pdf (egale.ca)

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Learning Opportunities:

Intro to Gender Diversity Free Online Course  

We know how overwhelming acronyms can be, so we created this handy little glossary to help out! We will be updating it regularly, so please let us know if anything is missing or if one of our definitions is incorrect.

Do you know of a resource that should be on our list? Please reach out here and let us know.

https://www.autismbc.ca/blog/gender-autism-allies/

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*reminder: I know the authors of this article meant nothing but respect & kindness BUT we say gender not gender “identity” weather you are talking about a cis or trans person, k?

[caz-barks]

we should both get super high and make out until one of us becomes desperate enough to pin the other to the ground and grind against each other until we cum in our pants.

or we could see a movie or something that’s cool too

[coreyjaechicken]

Hello Void!

You know what I hate?

Having multiple diagnoses.

I’m getting major self doubt about my autism because I also have ADHD, anxiety, and depression.

And together I’m sure they could look like autism.

On the other hand when my mother asked the dude who diagnosed me with ADHD why he wasn’t talking about the high autism indicators on the weird test thingy and he basically said something about me being a girl (which surprise I’m not) and that making it not worth looking at.

I would love to get a diagnosis.

I fucking want one.

So badly.

If I wasn’t trans I’d get one.

There are so many signs, multiple autistic people asked my mom if I was autistic when I was a kid, my mom had to hand make me pants for years because I couldn’t wear them otherwise, the meltdowns, the communication issues, the things my mom’s told of me organizing toys, my horrible attempts at masking, my fucked up eating habits.

And yet there’s that constant worry.

The sensory issues can be explained by ADHD, the communication by anxiety, executive dysfunction by ADHD and depression.

What’s worse is I have trauma.

And I’m sure everything that can’t be explained by anything else I have can be explained away by trauma.

I say this all having had a meltdown over a series of miscommunication and my fathers anger about cheese on a burger earlier today.

[whydooldpeopletalk]

Speaking as someone who's been outed many, many times, by both "allies" and homo/transphobes, some of yall are way too comfortable sharing other peoples' queer identities.

"But what if I'm trying to be funny?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if I'm an ally?" Doesn't matter

"But what if the person I'm talking to is an ally?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if I'm queer?" Doesn't matter

"But what if the person I'm talking to is queer?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if the person I'm talking about is a stranger?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if it's really obvious?" First of all, ew. Second of all, Doesn't matter.

"But what if they didn't come out to me, I just figured it out on my own?" Doesn't matter.

"But what if they're getting misgendered?" It's just as easy to say 'actually she's a girl' as it is to say 'actually she's transgender and uses she/her'. If that person is pretransition, it's also easy to just bite your tongue and not say anything.

Unless that person has explicitly given you permission to share that information, you DON'T. No matter how certain you are that everyone is accepting, no matter how noble your intentions, it's not your information to share. Getting clocked sucks, getting outed sucks, and they're both an invasion of privacy no matter who's doing it.