#we all by products of chat boxes

[artcalledoddities]

Everyone P-TSD Everyone Petroleum-Tised Simple Diseased In water throughout the air within a shovel deep of land Oil based insecticides to cfc’s Plastic covered colored beaches And all above the animals with humans and their dealings, for breeding on Earth Undomesticated Animal Kingdom Speaks upon and for Flora Veggie Fungi & Coral Send the domesticated animal to feed hungered children And stop global warming All taking place during the Well, you humans Don’t know of such meetings But know you know some things Take it for granted or granite Or don’t in stone Don’t ridicule such beings Here for way such longer than you ! Dinosaur bird reptile insect the fish ^human mammals frog & salamander and some species of slugs *now A I, but in all docs of technology the gov’t had knowledge 20 years before Who’s speech Who’s say so on TV It’s all a question ? Mark ? Everything? Who was speaking back then If made so easy for cheating students later! As America progressed Wait That’s Post Traumatic SiliconChip Decipher Talks now The above hundred years long The latter since 1980’s No further comments Not Available I still live today Fine, whatever yes, I was born in 1974 I’m now 50 It’s all for everybody born exactly on the day of this year 2024 a fifty years ago If born today in 75 well they are 49 If born today in 73 well they are 51 It’s really not grand mind clarity What’s your age for? You are not vintage wine! As in the Panda has been walled up And not really free to roam the Earth Metal Fire Water nor Woods But back when for railroads Smog and progress fills our lungs Today from the yesterday It’s all here to smell! Everyone Petroleum-Tised Simple Diseased Now this is Post Traumatic SiliconChip Decipher Who the (people) are you speaking for! Are you speaking for paths of Belted Weather! A rhythm helps keep the

My father to strike continuously

My mother to strike especially

And from the clouds

The arrays entering my mind

Lengths and waves in tooth’s

Nature in parts of the world has it’s teeth sunk in The blue is being added too

[haikyu-mp4]

Sponsored

word count; 742 – gn!reader who likes makeup

“Sugarpill… what is this?” Kenma mumbled as he opened another PR package. This one was a bright pink box, on the smaller side. He scrunched his nose as he opened it, finding a little flyer and something square with a pixelated cat on the front. “Fun size… eyeshadow palette?” he read off the label and looked up as the chat suddenly went crazy.

kozuluvr: omg its makeup

kenkenspudding: will we finally get beauty guru kodzuken?

raginggamergirl: I dont even use makeup n I want this palette

Kenma hummed under his breath, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know why they would send me this,” he said honestly, twisting and turning the palette in his hands before opening it and showing the bright colours to the livestream, also doing his best to read off the names, which were all gaming related.

urfavkuroo: makeup tutorial for your next follower special?

He looked down at the palette, seemingly studying it. “The names are cool.”

When you came home from work, you kicked your shoes off and sighed loudly as you strolled into the kitchen. You knew Kenma was playing on livestream, so you picked up two juice boxes from the fridge and went to his office.

“Hey, baby,” you cooed, waving at the camera as you stepped up beside Kenma and pressed a kiss to his cheek. You two announced your relationship a long time ago, and after getting through the short period of intense hate comments, most of his fans seemed to get over it. They realised that you were kind of awesome.

“Hi, how was work?” Kenma asked, taking the juice box from you with a small thanks after pausing the game.

“Same old, same old.” You glanced at the screen and then back to him. “And yours?” you asked back with a teasing tone. “Looks tough.” Kenma scoffed and pinched your thigh, making you giggle. He ignored your question in favour of leaning across his desk to pick up the pink package.

“Look what I got in my sponsored mail,” was all he said, handing it to you and watching for your reaction with a small smile on his face. He really likes it when you get home.

People started posting suggested makeup looks with his name on Twitter and you even responded to a couple of them from your account, agreeing with what would suit him and what would not.

That’s why you two agreed that you would do the makeup on him, announcing on Kodzuken’s channels that if they got him to his next follower milestone, they would get a makeup special.

And what do you know, Kenma got a follower boost from all the posts his fans made about him and the palette.

You happily helped him set up to film in your living room, so you could sit cross-legged and face each other on the couch where the lighting was a bit nicer. In preparation, you cleaned your eyeshadow brushes and put Kenma’s hair in a nicer bun so the camera could properly catch whatever you did.

He raised a brow as you held up the eyeshadow palette to the camera and put your hand behind it, explaining the product. “What are you even doing?” he asked you, pointer finger drawing stars on your knee while he watched you affectionately.

“This is what us beauty gurus do,” you said in a jokingly posh voice, also telling him “You wouldn’t understand.”

“This is my channel, you know,” he teased, using his other hand to tap your cheek. If he focused more on you, he didn’t think too much about how much more exposed he was to his viewers in a video like this compared to what he was used to.

“Shh, I’m talking to my devoted followers,” you said before laughing, picking up the next colour on a new brush and putting a quick kiss on his lips before you continued with the makeup. “We’re all Kodzuken fans here.”

Kenma knew some people expected him to act annoyed, but he also knew there was no way to hide how much he loved your soft touches and the concentrated look on your face as your brushes ticked his skin to give him a (supposedly trendy) “rainbow blush”.

There were even more mentions of him online after the video was posted. Now the fans shared screenshots and video clips of him and his partner, discussing how adorable you were together. Couple goals.

masterlist

[undergroundbillions]

Hello!

We're noticing more people being interested in the Raggedy Ann fandom since the Amazing Digital Circus pilot released, so we thought we'd update our masterpost on where to find more Raggedy Ann media!

Books:

The first two and most well-known books are Raggedy Ann stories (1918) and Raggedy Andy stories (1920), which are in public domain and free to read online! Camel with the Wrinkled Knees (1924) (which the movie was loosely based on!) is on Internet Archive and available to read without an account. You can find many of the other books on there as well.

Cartoons:

The 1940's has Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy (1941), Suddenly It's Spring (1944), and The Enchanted Square (1947).

You've got the 1977 Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure of course.

The Chuck Jones holiday TV specials: Raggedy Ann and Andy in The Great Santa Claus Caper (1978) and Raggedy Ann and Andy in The Pumpkin Who Couldn't Smile (1979).

Most episodes of The Adventures of Raggedy Ann and Andy (1988-1990) are in this playlist here, and you could probably find any missing ones on Dailymotion.

From the Target crossover we have the animated Snowden: Raggedy Ann & Andy's Adventure (1998) and the live-action ice-skating special The Snowden, Raggedy Ann and Andy Holiday Show (1998).

Music:

I've also got a playlist of all the albums I've found on YouTube or were uploaded by us, and there's many more of the older ones available on Archive. The old Will Wooden and Frank Luther ones are very charming.

Musical:

You can watch recovered archival footage of the full first production of the Raggedy Ann musical (1984), listen to the demo album (~1985), or the Broadway bootleg (1986)!

If you're interested in more, I'd recommend exploring the saved playlists on the RARE YouTube channel or the media tag on the Raggedy Ann Fandom Wiki.

We're a group of Raggedy Ann enthusiasts who got together to search for Raggedy Ann lost media (specifically the musical), but now we collect and archive all sorts of things from the franchise! Our ask box is always open and we love to find things people are looking for, or even just chat about headcanons and such.

-Mod General D.

[seungsuki]

groceries - sunday restock with your boyfriend (f!reader)

warning: none

note: i manage to sneak in bachira hehe.. wonder why?

sundays are nagi seishiro’s favourite day. just relaxing and being lazy was something the 190 cm striker loved. top that off, you would baby him and take care of him so he would be well rested for the brutal training monday would force on him

but today wasn’t his favourite sunday 

seishiro spent his day trailing behind you like a lost duckling. it was a nice afternoon and you thought today was the perfect day to restock on groceries. that’s how you both ended up in the bustling supermarket near your place. you pushed the trolley along the isles while nagi in his true nature, clung onto you like his life depended on it. 

his head rested on your shoulder as his arms wrapped securely around your waist forming a somewhat comfortable back hug. you swore seishiro purposely made sure his warm breaths were extra slow to annoy you but you weren’t gonna let him win. you had to restock groceries today or else both of you would be too busy to find any day. 

“do we really need to waste time buying food?”, seishiro spoke as the both of you navigated through the shelves of cereal 

“yes we do- oh found it!”, you smiled as you retreated something you searched far and wide 

“a cereal box..? that was something you wasted so much time on?”, seishiro asked confused

“it’s not just a cereal! it’s a collab with txt!!”, you groaned remembering how terrible seishiro is with names 

“nevermind we’re almost done and then we’ll go home you big baby”

you chuckled when you heard a small ‘yay’ from the laid-back koala you called your boyfriend. he even gave you a small kiss on the neck to celebrate his so-called victory. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes with a small affectionately sigh. you placed the cereal into the cart and strolled away. moving from aisles you’d either have seishiro acting like a cringe teen making fun of the brand names or seishiro mumbling in your ear about how terrible his team was to him (they don’t let him sleep during breaks). 

while you love nagi seishiro with all of your heart, it was these moments that made you want to question just how much of a hassle life was for him. you wonder sometimes.. if you had never asked him out, would he still be alive? yeah he had reo and all but you can’t help but wonder if seishiro had some sort of issues in the past 

you shook your head trying to forget the negative thoughts clouding your head. this was a topic you’d definitely bring up for another day. 

“angel, can we get ice cream too?”, seishiro suddenly added as he watched you pick up the nuggets packet 

“ice cream? yeah sure sure.. anything you want sei”, 

after checking everything in your cart, both of you lined up to pay for your groceries. you recalled a story to seishiro about your university friends trying to force you into acting. your friend dramatically added about how the theatre club was in danger, forcing you to skip your volleyball club practice.

seishiro hums to your story, even though he looks like he doesn’t care, you best believe that he loves gossip. he picked this from reo, another guy who was always hungry for gossip, even if he doesn’t know that person at all. finally, after what seems like eternity, it was your turn 

“good afternoon! hope you guys fin- nagi? no way! whatcha doing here?”, the yellow highlights haired cashier asked 

“bachira.. why are you a cashier?”, seishiro asked puzzled as he frees himself from you 

“oh i picked up a part time job to help my mama. who’s she? hey it’s nice to meet you! i’m bachira!”, bachira introduced himself as he started to scan the products

“i’m [name]... you’re seishiro’s friend?”, you asked, receiving an enthusiastic nod from bachira 

“i didn’t know you had friends other than reo”, you asked again but to the snowy bangs boy 

“i’m trying”, seishrio replied with a shrug 

bachira chatted away with you while preparing your bill. he even added his ‘bff discount’ for the both of you which made you laugh at his antics. waving him goodbye, seishiro and you left the store. it made you feel happy, knowing that sei made friends at blue lock.

it’s not like you hated reo or anything. if anything, you were thankful at how he was always with your lazy genius but you wanted seishiro to branch out. hearing from bachria about his new friends gave you a sense of relief that he had other people to count on 

“you look funny”, sei spoke trying to read your mind 

“i’m just happy”, you said adding a small smile 

“what is there to be happy about? i’m so sad i had to leave my warm bed for this”, seishiro groaned 

“i’m happy you have so many friends. you have so many people who care about you!”, you countered 

“i should be careful! they might steal you from me”, you jokingly added, nudging the soccer player 

“what’s there to worry about? you’re prettier than them”, sei bluntly said making you go red 

“h-hey! don’t just go around saying that!”, you nervously laughed away the butterflies that erupted 

“i'd rather be with my pretty girl than sit with those idiots. it’s a hassle”, sei sighed nearly dropping the bag he was holding 

“...”

“...”

“let’s just go home and i’ll give you some ice cream with extra sprinkles” 

© seungsuki 2024-25 -- do not repost, translate, alter, etc on any platform without permission. Any characters used in my work do not belong to me, they are created by their original creator

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Vil Schoenheit - Luxe Couture Vignette

"My orders are absolute"

[Fairest City – Queen's Palace]

Announcer: The curtain rises on this year's Fairest City's International Film Festival. And today... Please take a gander around me!

Announcer: Queen's Palace is completely flooded with the press and movie fans. Enthusiasm is in full force!

Announcer: With so many filmmakers and actors present, this is the event of the season. Let's chat with a few of them.

Announcer: Hello! Which production are you most excited to see during this film fest?

Movie Fan A: WELL, OF COURSE, THE LIVE-ACTION BEAUTIFUL QUEEN MOVIE!!

Movie Fan A: Ever since I was a kid, I've always loved the animated movie on the Fairest Queen and her spirit of tenacity.

Movie Fan A: I'm really looking forward to the live-action remake! Can't wait to see what other info they drop during the film fest.

Announcer: The anticipation is immense! Alright, next… Hey, you over there! And why have you come to Queen's Palace?

Movie Fan B: There's someone I really really need to see…! You know how there's going to be a screening for the Beautiful Queen?

Movie Fan B: I was hoping maybe, just maybe, my most beautiful bias would make a surprise appearance, so I came here!

Announcer: Oho, I see. And who is it you're such a fan of?

Movie Fans: LOOK, IT'S VIL SHOENHEIT!!

Movie Fan B: Yeah, my fave is Vil… HUH!?

Announcer: Everyone, please take a look! Vil Schoenheit has arrived here at Queen's Palace!!

Movie Fans: KYAAAAAAA, VIL-SAMAAAAA!!

Ace: Woah, this is crazy! There's so much screaming for Vil-senpai that I can feel it vibrating my whole body!!

Jamil: Don't lose focus. Our job here is to protect Vil-senpai from his enthused fans and the media.

Azul: Indeed. As recompense for these Luxe couture garments, we must put forth our labor as compensation.

Vil: That's right. [Yuu], Ace, Grim. I expect the three of you to properly carry out your roles as well.

[Yuu nods]

Ace: I mean, I've got on this Luxe couture fit on, so. I gotta make sure I keep lookin' cool, don't I?

Vil: Absolutely. I need you to look your best so you can be of the utmost use for me.

[click! snap!!]

Cameraman: It's Vil Schoenheit!! I gotta snap as many pictures as I can from all angles!

Vil: Hello, everyone, are you all enjoying this very special day?

Movie Fan B: KYAAAAAAA! VIL-SAMAAAA!! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET YOUUUUU!!!!!

[Vil waves hand with a sparkle]

Movie Fan B: Ooahh, he waved at me! Now I can… die without regrets…

[faints with a thud]

Movie Fan C: PLEASE SPARE ME A GLANCE TOO, VIL-SAMA!

[Vil looks over with a sparkle]

Movie Fan C: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEEE!

[faints with a thud]

Azul: Amazing… Fans are dropping like flies just from meeting Vil-san's eyes…

Jamil: Even when we find erratic people in the crowd, they're instantly affected by Vil-senpai's beauty.

Ace: And this guy's just as stoic as ever even seeing the crowd act like this… Vil Schoenheit is way too incredible!

1. He's so enchanting… 2. I can't stop taking pictures…!

Vil: Don't be content just yet. We're just getting started.

Vil: We'll make sure that no one ever forgets my momentous walk down the tapis rouge.

Vil: Jamil, bring that to me.

Jamil: Of course, I have it right here.

Announcer: Vil Schoenheit has stopped on the tapis rouge and has been handed a box.

Announcer: What could possibly be in the box? …It's an apple! Vil Schoenheit is now holding an apple!

[green smoke starts to surround Vil]

Announcer: Oh? And now he's surrounded by smoke… I can't see Vil Schoenheit at all.

Announcer: What is happening…? Huh!?

Vil: NOW, EVERYONE KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME, THE FAIREST ONE OF ALL!

Fans: WOOOOOOOOOOAH! / KYAAAAA!!!!

Announcer: B-B-B-Beautiful!!! He's so beautiful… More beautiful than I could possibly imagine!!!

Grim: That guy with the mic can't say nothin' other than beautiful anymore.

Ace: Haha, he's even stolen the announcer's vocab away. I'd expect nothing less from Vil-senpai.

Cameraman: Look at his spectacular attire, and his flawless posing…! This is out best chance to snag all the photos!!

[click! snap, snap!!]

Vil: Heh. Just as I expected, the reception is fantastic.

Azul: Indeed. Your design was a grand success. This was a fantastically gorgeous idea fit for this stage.

Vil: It's much too early to be complacent. All of you, make sure you follow me closely.

Jamil/Azul/Grim/Ace: Yes, sir! / Got it!

[Yuu nods]

[Fairest City – Queen's Palace]

[Vil talking to others]

Ace: Hey, hey, [Yuu]! That person Vil-senpai is talking to right now…

1. They're definitely that one recently popular singer. 2. I feel like I've seen them on TV…

Ace: Right? Celebrities are chatting him up left and right… You can really feel just how much of a super celeb Vil-senpai really is.

Ace: Maybe we can slip into the convo at the right time! Think we could get an autograph!?

Grim: Oh hey, they're passin' out drinks over there! I'm gonna go get… Myah!?

[Vil grabs Grim]

Grim: Hey, don't grab me by the scruff!

Vil: Silence! Just because we made it safely inside the Queen's Palace does not mean you can do as you please.

Vil: You are to stay calm and refined, and carry yourself beautifully during the film festival as well. Or do you intend on humiliating me?

Azul: Quite right. The energy of these first years can be quite troublesome.

Vil: If you think so, I would rather you watch those little spudlings instead of passing out your business cards.

Vil: Especially while you tell them you're my schoolmate… Really, I give you an inch and you take a mile.

Jamil: I've confirmed our seating arrangements for the screening. The theater is just past here.

Vil: Wonderful. We should make our way there before the aisles get too crowded.

Grim: Movie's finally over. That was super long… Hey, why's everyone standin' up all a sudden?

[APPLAUSE]

Azul: Well, well… What a magnificent standing ovation.

Vil: The Fairest Queen's spirit of tenacity was fully explored throughout the whole Beautiful Queen movie.

Vil: She was never complacent with the status quo, and spent her entire life attempting to improve herself further…

Vil: It's only natural to be deeply moved by how she pursued her life goals, especially as a performer, myself.

Jamil: I agree. It was a fantastic film. We should join the rest of the audience in applause.

[APPLAUSE]

Vil: Ah… The entire venue has nothing but praise for this film. A spectacular sight to behold. I'm sure Dad is just as elated right now.

Ace: The live-action Beautiful Queen movie rocked. Based on that showing, it'll definitely be a huge hit!

Azul: Well, the film fest has concluded… Vil-san, what are our plans afterward?

Vil: Our plans? Well, that would be…

Vil: We head home.

Ace/Grim/Azul: HUH!?

1. That sucks… 2. No way…

Jamil: It'll get dark soon. If we want to make tomorrow's classes, we should probably head back to campus soon.

Vil: That's right. The main role of a student is to learn. That's why even I have put my career on hold.

Vil: When I received my admissions letter from Night Raven College, I have to admit I did hesitate.

Vil: Was there even any reason to place my acting career on hold just to attend a school…? Or so I thought.

Vil: However, I'm sure that the knowledge, studying and experience that comes from school life will undoubtedly be a boon.

Vil: Once I decided that, I chose to reduce my work commitments and instead devote myself to my studies.

Vil: By spending my days simply being Vil Schoenheit and a member of the Pomefiore Dormitory...

Vil: My understanding of the Fairest Queen's spirit of tenacity deepened, which in turn led to this successful promotion.

Vil: My daily life as a student has absolutely been a boon for my career, just as I expected it would be back before I enrolled… No, I suppose it would be correct to say even more than I had expected.

Vil: This little venture has proved to me that my decision had been the correct one.

Vil: And thus, I am also determined to spend the rest of the time I have left as a student to my fullest, with no regrets.

Ace: Vil-senpai…

Ace: Okay, you can say all that, but you do realize that this is probably the only time the rest of us get the chance to go to a film festival, right!?

Azul: Ace-san is completely correct. It would be an absolute pity to squander this opportunity to network with all these celebrities!

Vil: Oh, is that so. Then do as you please. That is, if you are willing to violate your contract.

Ace: Violate what contract? We played your lackeys already.

Azul: Actually… The conditions set by Vil-san were to "walk the red carpet"…

Azul: If he intends on walking the same path we took to get here, we must escort him during his return, as well…!

Vil: Correct. I see you fully understand the terms of your agreement.

Ace: Ehhhh～!? I thought we were only here for the grand entrance…

Vil: So I'll ask you one more time. I will be returning to campus, what will you do?

Ace/Azul: Return alongside you…

Jamil: Considering the role we were undertaking today, it's only natural.

Vil: Excellent. Then we should make haste to leave the venue.

[Fairest City – Queen's Palace]

[snap! snap snap snap!!]

Grim: Myah, the flashes are way too bright!!

Azul: I had anticipated the crowd would be more settled than when we had entered the venue...

Ace: Doesn't feel like they've petered out at all… And we even tried slipping out mid-fest.

Announcer: Vil Schoenheit-san! Please elaborate on your promotion work for this event!

Newspaper Reporter: WE WOULD BE HONORED TO HEAR YOUR COMMENTS ON THE LIVE-ACTION BEAUTIFUL QUEEN MOVIE!

Cameraman: Vil-SAN!! LOOK THIS WAY!!

Jamil: The press are coming at us in full force…! Ace, Azul, hold them back!!

Ace/Azul: RIGHT!!

Vil: Now, now, how frantic everyone is. There's no need to worry, I won't run from you.

Vil: I will gladly answer your questions, at least until I finish walking the tapis rouge.

Newspaper Reporter: Whew, that draped train flutters so beautifully… …Ack! I shouldn't be standing around enraptured.

Newspaper Reporter: Ahem. Then, I'll start. How did it come to be that you would do this promotion?

Vil: Eric Venue personally requested me. Must mean no one was better suited for the promotion than I.

Magazine Reporter: Your whole outfit coordination today is so stunning! Can you tell us some highlights about this look?

Vil: I call this "Black of Night" ―

Vil: It came about by utilizing the iconic Luxe brand color that originates in the Fairest Queen legends.

Vil: Instead of accessorizing with magnificent jewelry, I simply used myself as the adornment…

Vil: Which allowed my beauty to be accentuated even further.

Announcer: SPECTACULAR! YOU ARE TRULY BEAUTIFUL!!

Announcer: Speaking of which… Your companions here all look fabulous as well. Are you all models as well?

Ace: Ooh, is that how we look? I mean, we all look pretty rad, can't fault you for thinking so～

Azul: I'm grateful that you thought to cast your eyes on me as well. Thank you so much for you kind words.

Jamil: Guess it's not too terrible to be thought of as one of Vil-senpai's colleagues.

Grim: Myahaha! This guy knows what they're talkin' about!

1. Wow, I can't believe we were mistaken for models!

Vil: Calm down… Don't get all riled up. Obviously, it's because of the Luxe attire you're wearing.

2. I feel like I've never been noticed like this before…

Vil: Heh, you seem pretty composed. At least you can tell it's obviously because of the Luxe attire you're wearing.

Vil: Although, I suppose if you are basking in my glow, it wouldn't be surprising for others to notice you lot as well.

Vil: These fellows aren't models, but are merely my dutiful manservants. And they obey every order I give them.

Vil: Isn't that right?

Grim/Ace/Jamil/Azul: Yes, sir... Vil Schoenheit-sama.

Vil: …It seems the tapis rouge has come to an end. I'm sorry, but this is the end of the interview.

Vil: I do hope you all have a wonderful evening.

Announcer: Vil-san, please wait a moment!!

Newspaper Reporter: I still have another question for you…!

Vil: Here we go, boys. Get to work and secure a path!

Grim/Ace/Jamil/Azul: YESSIR!!

[Fairest City – Crystal Galleria]

Ace: Wheeew, we finally escaped. The press was pretty intense, but that was an ambush of fans!

Azul: Gasp, whew… Truly an ordeal…

Azul: With how Vil-san made such a grand appearance in front of the media like this despite recently taking a break from his acting work...

Azul: I can fully understand why anyone would want to take as many photos as possible in that scenario…

Vil: It's been sometime since I've had such an ardent reception. It's not something that I get to deal with while on Sage's Island.

Jamil: Good thing we were able to give them all the slip. It was a great plan to confirm possible back roads to escape to last night.

Ace: Is that what you were all doing!? I just thought you guys all snuck out of the hotel to have a bit of fun…

Vil: I don't think Azul or Jamil would let a single thing slip by them. You both have earned my praise just this once.

Vil: There were a few close calls, but… I would say you all just barely succeeded in the job I entrusted you with.

Azul: Your kind words fill me with joy. And once again… Thank you for allowing us to accompany you.

Vil: Of course. This was a fairly wonderful two days, was it not? Not only we were able to relax here in the Fairest City…

Vil: But we were also able to watch an early showing of the live-action Beautiful Queen.

Azul: Yes, indeed. The movie was utterly beautiful from start to finish… I could even feel the dedication in the tableware and cutlery chosen for the film.

Jamil: I understand the tenacious spirit of the Fairest Queen even better now. I feel like I need to put forth even more effort in my own life now.

Vil: Excellent thoughts.

Vil: Next. How about we hear the thoughts from the youngest spudlings here, who seem to be trying to avoid eye contact, hm?

Ace: It was super real-looking, and super fab, and the Fairest Queen was suuuper pretty… Basically, it was just super awesome all around!

1. I agree! 2. It was impressive!

Vil: Sigh, how appalling. How could you watch that masterpiece and only have such boring impressions?

Vil: It seems you still don't have a full understanding on the spirit of tenacity.

Vil: Once the movie is available to the public, you are to go watch it in theaters. Understand? My orders are absolute.

Vil: …And if the mood strikes, perhaps I'll join you.

Requested by @amourteddyst and @ordinaryanon.

[koolades-world]

One bed troupe w/ Belphie

According to Belphie, this was the perfect day. It could even be called the best day ever in his eyes.

But to you, not so much.

Your day together started with the two of you enjoying a late breakfast together. Neither of you made it, actually. Asmo had made dinner last night, so you were eating leftover at the same time. Belphie thought it was rather romantic. You were half asleep and almost microwaved your fork by accident. After that, you were productive together. You both tried to get some homework done, in which Belphie ended up lounging across your lap while you did some mindless D.D.D. scrolling because your excuse was that you could no longer reach your school supplies.

Later that day, you almost went out with Mammon and Asmo to shop, but eventually opted to stay in with Belphie, because he said he would get lonely if you left him, which was probably untrue because Beel would gladly spend time with him if he wanted. He wanted to spent time in the attic with you. To you, it didn’t matter that much because all eight of you were supposed to head out for dinner that night with Diavolo. Knowing him, he’d convince you all to spend the night at his place somehow, because Lucifer can’t say no to him. You’d get to spent more than enough time with them later.

So, to indulge him, you let him drag you up the stairs to the attic to cuddle. The door shut behind you with a gentle click, but in the moment, you could only think about each other. He dragged you into the bed in the center on the attic and clung onto you like a koala. The two of you did a couple things that you deemed fun, such as a tickle fight and a short game of chase.

By the time you realized you were locked in, it was far too late. They’re probably already left for dinner, assuming you were just busy, since sometimes that would happen. Whenever you had group affairs, one person was always late because they forgot and remembered after the fact, leaving then to rush to where ever the rest of the group was. This time, they probably thought it was you and Belphie.

However, what they didn’t know was that you wouldn’t be meeting up with them because when you’d entered the attic, the door had closed behind you and trapped you in. When Belphie had unceremoniously dragged you away, you’d left your D.D.D. downstairs somewhere, probably on the dining table. Belphie’s was dead, which wasn’t unusual, but unfortunate. Once you realized, you began to freak out, but Belphie was much more relaxed.

“What if they’re worried they’re about to get a ransom video for our lives?” You paced the length of the attic, running your hand along your forehead. You knew how quickly his brothers escalated things when confronted with a minor problem, no less having two family members missing.

“Let them worry, for all I care. I have you all to myself now, don’t I? Besides, it’s not like we’re in danger or anything.” Belphie was tossing a stray tennis ball up and down in the air, while lounging on the bed. You weren’t really sure how much time had passed while you were messing around, but you assumed they were at least halfway through dinner.

“While that’s sweet and all, if that’s how that was intended, aren’t you worried? Even a little?” You sighed and propped yourself against one of the window sills.

“It’s not like we got stuck here on purpose, although anything beats dinner with Lucifer.” Belphie chuckled as you began to chide him for poking fun at his brother. You began to relax more as time went on, and you eventually decided to start cleaning while you were there. As you swept the floor with a spare broom, Belphie chatted with you. He was oddly awake.

You also hoped to find some extra blankets while sorting through some old looking boxes in hopes of staying warm. You couldn’t deny how chilly it was getting up in the attic. Belphie seemed unbothered, but you knew how cold Devildom nights got, and you weren’t dressed appropriately for the night.

“Mc, I’m tired. Come nap with me.” Belphie was still on the bed, arms outstretched to you. A draft swept over the room, causing you to shiver. “See, you’re cold. I’ll keep you warm.” His directness was something you admired about him, and it worked for you in this situation, so you obliged him.

“Is it really a nap at this point? It’s getting late.” You quickly tucked yourself under the covers and let him cling to you. He was very warm. You leaned into the embrace, welcoming the waves of heat.

“Doesn’t matter.” He buried his face in your hair. “Is this my shampoo?” He didn’t move.

“Maybe? It’s whatever bottle I grabbed first this morning so maybe you got the luck of the draw.” You fully well knew you grabbed his shampoo that morning. While you hadn’t picked it out on purpose, you knew the smell well.

“You’re cute. Now, good night. If we’re lucky, maybe my brothers will walk in on us cuddling and get jealous.” His words made you internally smile. If you actually smiled, he’d feel it and stay awake longer. You didn’t fall asleep as immediately as he did, as you heard him lightly snore once or twice, but you were able to revel in the body warmth and fuzzy feelings you got from being around him.

You just hoped his brothers wouldn’t be too freaked out when they couldn’t find you. (You knew they would for sure act like the world was ending and not let you out of their sight for a while)

[hsr-texts]

find your cinderella

꒰‧₊˚✩彡‧꒱ ┊ ━━━━ prologue

꒰⸝⸝₊ʚ♡ɞ ┊ streamer!reader x mystery hsr character ꒱

꒰⸝⸝₊ʚ♡ɞ ┊ otome event ꒱

꒰ ☰ WORD COUNT ┊1.4k ꒱

꒰ ☰ DESCRIPTION ┊ ━━ When you do an unboxing livestream for your subsribers, you find an invite to an exclusive event called the "Find Your Cinderella" masquerade gala where you are guaranteed to find your supposed true love, as a rather enthusiastic manager told you. ꒱

꒰ ☰ NOTES ┊HIII omg you guys THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT!! Getting 1k followers is so crazy for me because I've never had a blog be received with this much love and support before so I've decided to make an extra special otome game style fanfic! ꒱

“Guys, look! The package just came in!”

You rushed into your studio, holding a sizable metal box. Inscribed on the sides was a logo of two masks, resembling a certain Aeon. Placing it down on the floor, you gave a sigh of relief. “Aeons, that was heavy!”

Your eyes glanced at the live chat and saw all the messages, curious about the package.

“Seems like you guys are more excited than I am,” You couldn’t help a small chuckle leaving your lips. “It took me quite a lot to get a hold of this limited edition package from LumiPro. Like, do you guys know how much it cost?”

A few comments popped up trying to guess the price.

You shook your head. “100,000 credits.”

The chat then flooded with shocked emotes and comments. It was more than a fair reaction. You found yourself silently thanking the stars that your current occupation as a streamer granted you a steady income. Otherwise, you probably would’ve had to eat the same type of cup noodles for months.

“Anyway!” You clasped your hands together. “Let’s open it up already! I’m dying to see what’s inside. What could possibly warrant such a steep price?”

Your index finger pressed on the button at the top and heard a voice.

“Vocal identification. Please state your name.”

You uttered your name. It was a good thing you added an auto-censor to your setup so that any sensitive information that could get you doxxed would be redacted in the stream. You didn’t want stalkers showing up at your home after all.

“Permission granted.”

Faint clicks of metal against metal could be heard as the mechanisms worked to unlock the box. A hissing noise came from it as the lid opened. You watched, feeling anticipation and eagerness bubble within your chest.

A hologram was projected from the box, showing a person wearing professional attire. They smiled.

“Thank you for purchasing from Luminous Productions. We’ve curated a package that we believe would be of most use to you. For further questions, you may contact support on our site. We hope you enjoy it to the fullest.”

You took a peek and gasped at the sight. “Guys, oh my god, they just gave me a new PC!”

They must’ve done their research because you did mention in your stream a month ago that you were looking for a better PC.

The chat seemed to be as excited as you were, knowing this meant you’d be able to go back to your regular streaming schedule.

You could tell this was a real high end PC after seeing the graphics card and CPU model. Not only that, but it came with a new headset, keyboard, and mouse. You took out the stuff and gently placed them on the floor, letting the viewers see it.

After noticing that there was more in the package, you rummaged around for the other objects. Your hand made contact with some sort of fabric so you pulled it out.

Your eyes widened as you realised that it was a fancy outfit. Upon looking, you could estimate that it was your size too. Was this tailor made?

“Holy shit…”

It seemed like it was for a real special occasion, not even just your run-of-the-mill party that regular people go to. This outfit would probably fit right in with a red carpet event for rich folks or celebrities. Well— One may say, “Hey, aren’t you a celebrity too?” but you weren’t cocky enough to claim the same status as those with inter-galactic levels of fame.

A slip of paper fell out of the outfit’s pocket and you turned to see what it was.

You squinted in confusion. A ticket…? After picking up, you couldn’t help but notice the holographic shine to it first. How pretty.

“Find Your Cinderella Masquerade Event?” You mumbled in confusion. Who was Sugo? You couldn’t recall knowing anyone that went by that name.

Suddenly, the screen flickered for a moment and a new window popped up next to your stream.

A person showed up, wearing what you could only describe as a pink clown outfit that somehow combines cuteness and gaudiness in one. They grinned at you with amusement.

“Heya to all those viewers watching at home!” Even the way they spoke seemed to have a theatrical ring to it. By the way the chat was going insane, the people watching the stream could also see them.

“My name is Sugo and I’m the event organiser of the Find Your Cinderella Gala, or the FYC Gala for short,” they introduced themselves with a flourish. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Uh… hi?” You didn’t know how to respond. This was quite a bizarre experience to have someone hijack your stream to introduce themselves. Was this legal…?

They chuckled. “Yeah, sorry for the sudden appearance but I figured that it would shake things up a little. I’m sure your dear fans appreciate having two exciting things happening at the same time. You can bet that this’ll go viral too~”

“Right… So what exactly is this Find Your Cinderella Gala?”

“Glad you asked, dear anomaly!” They beamed. Eh? Why were they calling you anomaly?

“See, I’m doing a collaborative project with LumiPro. I proposed to them a large-scale event with celebrities from all over the galaxy, which would be broadcast to every streaming platform out there. The premise is simple, all attendees are there to find their one and only, their true love, their Cinderella, you get the idea.”

“So it’s a speed dating event for rich people?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It sounded like a stupid idea. And yet, a part of you was intrigued.

“Right on the money! What a clever streamer, it’s no wonder you got such high compatibility ratings with the other attendees~”

“A what?”

Their eyes gleamed with amusement. “So, we didn’t just pick the celebrities at random. I bet you’re wondering why a small time streamer is getting an invite to such an exclusive event, right?” They tilted their head, leaning on their desk.

You nodded slowly. It was still a mystery to you why you’d be invited when there are far more famous people in the galaxy.

“Behind the scenes, we’ve been developing an advanced algorithm that can find your best match in a group. How it works is that we pick a participant, feed it available information on said participant, then it calculates how well the person would get along with those within the group,” they explained, “What’s interesting for your case is that your average compatibility score with the group is 90%. Most folks that got tested only came up with a 60% average compatibility rating.”

You raised an eyebrow at this in skepticism. “Don’t you think that’s just a bug or something?”

They shrugged. “It could be, but we’ve done several tests and it always came out the same. We were hoping to add you in to act as an outlier to our pool of data.”

“So I’m just a guinea pig for your weird little experiment?” You gave them an unamused look.

“It’s just to see if your results were really true or if it was just a mistake on the algorithm’s part.” They shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be a fun time for you regardless of my motives. A win win for all parties involved, don’t you just love that kind of thing?”

“I guess but doesn’t this come with strings attached?”

Sugo whined. “Ughhh, you’re gonna make this way less fun if you go in already knowing what you’re getting!”

“What kind of sane person would do something without knowing the full details?!”

A groan came from them. “Booo, that’s so boring! Life needs a special surprise factor that keeps things fun and interesting.”

They sighed after. “But fine. If you’re so skeptical, then I can throw in a 500,000 credit compensation if you end up not enjoying it. So even if you do lose, you still gain something!”

You stayed silent, trying to figure out if this was really worth the trouble of dressing up and going to a party.

“Anyway, that’s all the information I’m contractually allowed to give out. It’s your choice whether you want to go or not.”

“Can I have some time to decide this?” You asked them.

Sugo nodded, smiling in amusement. “Of course! It’s not good for a show to spend too much time on exposition, after all. Let’s give the player some time to shine, hm?”

“I have no idea what you’re saying.”

They giggled, ignoring what you said. “Bye bye! I’ll see you at the gala!”

Their window disappeared, leaving you with your viewers again.

You sighed. What a strange person. Did you really wanna go? It’s not like you had much to lose. Plus, you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to find out what that compatibility rating was all about.

“What do you think, chat? Should I go?” You turned to the screen, waiting for their input.

[rhysdarbinizedarby]

Couch surfer in his 30s. Oscar winner in his 40s. Why the whole world wants Taika

**Notes: This is very long post!**

Good Weekend

In his 30s, he was sleeping on couches. By his 40s, he’d directed a Kiwi classic, taken a Marvel movie to billion-dollar success, and won an Oscar. Meet Taika Waititi, king of the oddball – and one of New Zealand’s most original creative exports.

Taika Waititi: “Be a nice person and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole.”

The good news? Taika Waititi is still alive. I wasn’t sure. The screen we were speaking through jolted savagely a few minutes ago, with a cacophonous bang and a confused yelp, then radio silence. Now the Kiwi ­ filmmaker is back, grinning like a loon: “I just broke the f---ing table, bro!”

Come again? “I just smashed this f---ing table and glass flew everywhere. It’s one of those old annoying colonial tables. It goes like this – see that?” Waititi says, holding up a folding furniture leg. “I hit the mechanism and it wasn’t locked. Anyway …”

I’m glad he’s fine. The stuff he’s been saying from his London hotel room could incur biblical wrath. We’re talking about his latest project, Next Goal Wins, a movie about the American Samoa soccer team’s quest to score a solitary goal, 10 years after suffering the worst loss in the game’s international history – a 31-0 ­ignominy to Australia – but our chat strays into ­spirituality, then faith, then religion.

“I don’t personally believe in a big guy sitting on a cloud judging everyone, but that’s just me,” Waititi says, deadpan. “Because I’m a grown-up.”

This is the way his interview answers often unfold. Waititi addresses your topic – dogma turns good people bad, he says, yet belief itself is worth lauding – but bookends every response with a conspiratorial nudge, wink, joke or poke. “Regardless of whether it’s some guy living on a cloud, or some other deity that you’ve made up – and they’re all made up – the message across the board is the same, and it’s important: Be a nice person, and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole!”

Not being an arsehole seems to have served Waititi, 48, well. Once a national treasure and indie darling (through the quirky tenderness of his breakout New Zealand films Boy in 2010 and Hunt for the Wilderpeople in 2016), Waititi then became a star of both the global box office (through his 2017 entry into the Marvel Universe, Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion worldwide) and then the Academy Awards (winning the 2020 best adapted screenplay Oscar for his subversive Holocaust dramedy JoJo Rabbit, in which he played an imaginary Hitler).

Waititi playing Adolf Hitler in the 2019 movie JoJo Rabbit. (Alamy)

A handsome devil with undeniable roguish charm, Waititi also slid seamlessly into style-icon status (attending this year’s Met Gala shirtless, in a floor-length gunmetal-grey Atelier Prabal Gurung wrap coat, with pendulous pearl necklaces), as well as becoming his own brand (releasing an eponymous line of canned ­coffee drinks) and bona fide Hollywood A-lister (he was introduced to his second wife, British singer Rita Ora, by actor Robert Pattinson at a barbecue).

Putting that platform to use, Waititi is an Indigenous pioneer and mentor, too, co-creating the critically acclaimed TV series Reservation Dogs, while co-founding the Piki Films production company, committed to promoting the next generation of storytellers – a mission that might sound all weighty and worthy, yet Waititi’s new wave of First Nations work is never earnest, always mixing hurt with heart and howling humour.

Waititi with wife Rita Ora at the 2023 Met Gala in May. (Getty Images)

Makes sense. Waititi is a byproduct of “the weirdest coupling ever” – his late Maori father from the Te Whanau-a-Apanui tribe was an artist, farmer and “Satan’s Slaves” bikie gang founder, while his Wellington schoolteacher mum descended from Russian Jews, although he’s not devout about her faith. (“No, I don’t practise,” he confirms. “I’m just good at everything, straight away.”)

He’s remained loyally tethered to his ­origin story, too – and to a cadre of creative Kiwi mates, including actors Jemaine Clement and Rhys Darby – never forgetting that not long before the actor/writer/producer/director was an industry maven, he was a penniless painter/photographer/ musician/comedian.

With no set title and no fixed address, he’s seemingly happy to be everything, everywhere (to everyone) all at once. “‘The universe’ is bandied around a lot these days, but I do believe in the kind of connective tissue of the universe, and the energy that – scientifically – we are made up of a bunch of atoms that are bouncing around off each other, and some of the atoms are just squished together a bit tighter than others,” he says, smiling. “We’re all made of the same stardust, and that’s pretty special.”

-----------------------------------------------

We’ve caught Waititi in a somewhat relaxed moment, right before the screen actors’ and media artists’ strike ends. He’s ­sensitive to the struggle but doesn’t deny enjoying the break. “I spent a lot of time thinking about writing, and not writing, and having a nice ­holiday,” he tells Good Weekend. “Honestly, it was a good chance just to recombobulate.”

Waititi, at right, with Hunt for the Wilderpeople actors, from left, Sam Neill, Rhys Darby and Julian Dennison. (Getty Images)

It’s mid-October, and he’s just headed to Paris to watch his beloved All Blacks in the Rugby World Cup. He’s deeply obsessed with the game, and sport in general. “Humans spend all of our time knowing what’s going to happen with our day. There’s no surprises ­any more. We’ve become quite stagnant. And I think that’s why people love sport, because of the air of unpredictability,” he says. “It’s the last great arena entertainment.”

The main filmic touchstone for Next Goal Wins (which premieres in Australian cinemas on New Year’s Day) would be Cool Runnings (1993), the unlikely true story of a Jamaican bobsled team, but Waititi also draws from genre classics such as Any Given Sunday and Rocky, sampling trusted tropes like the musical training montage. (His best one is set to Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears.)

Filming in Hawaii was an uplifting experience for the self-­described Polynesian Jew. “It wasn’t about death, or people being cruel to each other. Thematically, it was this simple idea, of getting a small win, and winning the game wasn’t even their goal – their goal was to get a goal,” he says. “It was a really sweet backbone.”

Waititi understands this because, growing up, he was as much an athlete as a nerd, fooling around with softball and soccer before discovering rugby league, then union. “There’s something about doing exercise when you don’t know you’re doing exercise,” he enthuses. “It’s all about the fun of throwing a ball around and trying to achieve something together.” (Whenever Waititi is in Auckland he joins his mates in a long-running weekend game of touch rugby. “And then throughout the week I work out every day. Obviously. I mean, look at me.”)

Auckland is where his kids live, too, so he spends as much time there as possible. Waititi met his first wife, producer Chelsea Winstanley, on the set of Boy in 2010, and they had two daughters, Matewa Kiritapu, 8, and his firstborn, Te Kainga O’Te Hinekahu, 11. (The latter is a derivative of his grandmother’s name, but he jokes with American friends that it means “Resurrection of Tupac” or “Mazda RX7″) Waititi and Winstanley split in about 2018, and he married the pop star Ora in 2022.

He offers a novel method for balancing work with parenthood … “Look, you just abandon them, and know that the experience will make them harder individuals later on in life. And it’s their problem,” he says. “I’m going to give them all of the things that they need, and I’m going to leave behind a decent bank ­account for their therapy, and they will be just like me, and the cycle will continue.”

Jokes aside – I think he’s joking – school holidays are always his, and he brings the girls onto the set of every movie he makes. “They know enough not to get in the way or touch anything that looks like it could kill you, and they know to be respectful and quiet when they need to. But they’re just very comfortable around filmmakers, which I’m really happy about, because eventually I hope they will get into the ­industry. One more year,” he laughs, “then they can leave school and come work for Dad.”

Theirs is certainly a different childhood than his. Growing up, he was a product of two worlds. His given names, for instance, were based on his appearance at birth: “Taika David” if he looked Maori (after his Maori grandfather) and “David Taika” if he looked Pakeha (after his white grandfather). His parents split when he was five, so he bounced between his dad’s place in Waihau Bay, where he went by the surname Waititi, and his mum, eight hours drive away in Wellington, where he went by Cohen (the last name on his birth ­certificate and passport).

Waititi was precocious, even charismatic. His mother Robin once told Radio New Zealand that people always wanted to know him, even as an infant: “I’d be on a bus with him, and he was that kind of baby who smiled at people, and next thing you know they’re saying, ‘Can I hold your baby?’ He’s always been a charmer to the public eye.”

He describes himself as a cool, sporty, good-looking nerd, raised on whatever pop culture screened on the two TV channels New Zealand offered in the early 1980s, from M*A*S*H and Taxi to Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson. He was well-read, too. When punished by his mum, he would likely be forced to analyse a set of William Blake poems.

He puts on a whimpering voice to describe their finances – “We didn’t have much monneeey” – explaining how his mum spent her days in the classroom but also worked in pubs, where he would sit sipping a raspberry lemonade, doodling drawings and writing stories. She took in ­ironing and cleaned houses; he would help out, learning valuable lessons he imparts to his kids. “And to random people who come to my house,” he says. “I’ll say, ‘Here’s a novel idea, wash this dish,’ but people don’t know how to do anything these days.”

“Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met or a story I’ve stolen from someone.” - Taika Waititi

He loved entertaining others, clearly, but also himself, recording little improvised radio plays on a tape deck – his own offbeat versions of ET and Indiana Jones and Star Wars. “Great free stuff where you don’t have any idea what the story is as you’re doing it,” he says. “You’re just sort of making it up and enjoying the ­freedom of playing god in this world where you can make people and characters do whatever you want.”

His other sphere of influence lay in Raukokore, the tiny town where his father lived. Although Boy is not autobiographical, it’s deeply personal insofar as it’s filmed in the house where he grew up, and where he lived a life similar to that portrayed in the story, surrounded by his recurring archetypes: warm grandmothers and worldly kids; staunch, stoic mums; and silly, stunted men. “Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met,” he says, “or a story I’ve stolen from someone.”

He grew to love drawing and painting, obsessed early on with reproducing the Sistine Chapel. During a 2011 TED Talk on creativity, Waititi describes his odd subject matter, from swastikas and fawns to a picture of an old lady going for a walk … upon a sword … with Robocop. “My father was an outsider artist, even though he wouldn’t know what that meant,” Waititi told the audience in Doha. “I love the naive. I love people who can see things through an innocent viewpoint. It’s inspiring.”

After winning Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award for JoJo Rabbit in 2020. (Getty Images)

It was an interesting time in New Zealand, too – a coming-of-age decade in which the Maori were rediscovering their culture. His area was poor, “but only ­financially,” he says. “It’s very rich in terms of the ­people and the culture.” He learned kapa haka – the songs, dances and chants performed by competing tribes at cultural events, or to honour people at funerals and graduations – weddings, parties, ­anything. “Man, any excuse,” he explains. “A big part of doing them is to uplift your spirits.”

Photography was a passion, so I ask what he shot. “Just my penis. I sent them to people, but we didn’t have phones, so I would print them out, post them. One of the first dick pics,” he says. Actually, his lens was trained on regular people. He watches us still – in airports, ­restaurants. “Other times late at night, from a tree. Whatever it takes to get the story. You know that.”

He went to the Wellington state school Onslow College and did plays like Androcles and the Lion, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Crucible. His crew of arty students eventually ended up on stage at Bats Theatre in the city, where they would perform haphazard comedy shows for years.

“Taika was always rebellious and wild in his comedy, which I loved,” says his high school mate Jackie van Beek, who became a longtime collaborator, including working with Waititi on a Tourism New Zealand campaign this year. “I remember he went through a phase of turning up in bars around town wearing wigs, and you’d try and sit down and have a drink with him but he’d be doing some weird character that would invariably turn up in some show down the track.”

He met more like-minded peers at Victoria University, including Jemaine Clement (who’d later become co-creator of Flight of the Conchords). During a 2019 chat with actor Elijah Wood, Waititi ­describes he and Clement clocking one another from opposite sides of the library one day: a pair of Maoris experiencing hate at first sight, based on a mutual suspicion of cultural appropriation. (Clement was wearing a traditional tapa cloth Samoan shirt, and Waititi was like: “This motherf---er’s not Samoan.” Meanwhile, Waititi was wearing a Rastafarian beanie, and Clement was like, “This ­motherf---er’s not Jamaican.”)

With Jemaine Clement in 2014. (Getty Images)

But they eventually bonded over Blackadder and Fawlty Towers, and especially Kenny Everett, and did comedy shows together everywhere from Edinburgh to Melbourne. Waititi was almost itinerant, spending months at a time busking, or living in a commune in Berlin. He acted in a few small films, and then – while playing a stripper on a bad TV show – realised he wanted to try life behind the camera. “I became tired of being told what to do and ordered around,” he told Wellington’s Dominion Post in 2004. “I remember sitting around in the green room in my G-string ­thinking, ‘Why am I doing this? Just helping someone else to realise their dream.’ ”

He did two strong short films, then directed his first feature – Eagle vs Shark (2007) – when he was 32. He brought his mates along (Clement, starring with Waititi’s then-girlfriend Loren Horsley), setting something of a pattern in his career: hiring friends instead of constantly navigating new working relationships. “If you look at things I’m doing,” he tells me, “there’s ­always a few common denominators.”

Sam Neill says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “The basis of it is this: we’re just a little bit crap at things.”

This gang of collaborators shares a common Kiwi vibe, too, which his longtime friend, actor Rhys Darby, once coined “the comedy of the mundane”. Their new TV show, Our Flag Means Death, for example, leans heavily into the mundanity of pirate life – what happens on those long days at sea when the crew aren’t unsheathing swords from scabbards or burying treasure.

Waititi plays pirate captain Blackbeard, centre, in Our Flag Means Death, with Rhys Darby, left, and Rory Kinnear. (Google Images)

Sam Neill, who first met Waititi when starring in Hunt for the Wilderpeople, says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “And I think the basis of it is this,” says Neill. “We’re just a little bit crap at things, and that in itself is funny.” After all, Neill asks, what is What We Do in The Shadows (2014) if not a film (then later a TV show) about a bunch of vampires who are pretty crap at being vampires, ­living in a pretty crappy house, not quite getting busted by crappy local cops? “New Zealand often gets named as the least corrupt country in the world, and I think it’s just that we would be pretty crap at being corrupt,” Neill says. “We don’t have the capacity for it.”

Waititi’s whimsy also spurns the dominant on-screen oeuvre of his homeland – the so-called “cinema of ­unease” exemplified by the brutality of Once Were Warriors (1994) and the emotional peril of The Piano (1993). Waititi still explores pathos and pain, but through laughter and weirdness. “Taika feels to me like an ­antidote to that dark aspect, and a gift somehow,” Neill says. “And I’m grateful for that.”

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Something happened to Taika Waititi when he was about 11 – something he doesn’t go into with Good Weekend, but which he considered a betrayal by the adults in his life. He ­mentioned it only recently – not the ­moment itself, but the lesson he learnt: “That you cannot and must not rely on grown-ups to help you – you’re basically in the world alone, and you’re gonna die alone, and you’ve just gotta make it all for yourself,” he told Irish podcast host James Brown. “I basically never forgave people in positions of responsibility.”

What does that mean in his work? First, his finest films tend to reflect the clarity of mind possessed by children, and the unseen worlds they create – fantasies conjured up as a way to understand or overcome. (His mum once summed up the main ­message of Boy: “The ­unconditional love you get from your children, and how many of us waste that, and don’t know what we’ve got.”)

Second, he’s suited to movie-making – “Russian roulette with art” – because he’s drawn to disruptive force and chaos. And that in turn produces creative defiance: allowing him to reinvigorate the Marvel Universe by making superheroes fallible, or tell a Holocaust story by making fun of Hitler. “Whenever I have to deal with someone who’s a boss, or in charge, I challenge them,” he told Brown, “and I really do take whatever they say with a pinch of salt.”

It’s no surprise then that Waititi was comfortable leaping from independent films to the vast complexity of Hollywood blockbusters. He loves the challenge of coordinating a thousand interlocking parts, requiring an army of experts in vocations as diverse as construction, sound, art, performance and logistics. “I delegate a lot,” he says, “and share the load with a lot of people.”

“This is a cool concept, being able to ­afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.” - Taika Waititi

But the buck stops with him. Time magazine named Waititi one of its Most Influential 100 People of 2022. “You can tell that a film was made by Taika Waititi the same way you can tell a piece was painted by Picasso,” wrote Sacha Baron Cohen. Compassionate but comic. Satirical but watchable. Rockstar but auteur. “Actually, sorry, but this guy’s really starting to piss me off,” Cohen concluded. “Can someone else write this piece?”

Directing Chris Hemsworth in 2017 in Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion at the box office. (Alamy)

I’m curious to know how he stays grounded amid such adulation. Coming into the game late, he says, helped immensely. After all, Waititi was 40 by the time he left New Zealand to do Thor: Ragnarok. “If you let things go to your head, then it means you’ve struggled to find out who you are,” he says. “But I’ve always felt very comfortable with who I am.” Hollywood access and acclaim – and the pay cheques – don’t erase memories of poverty, either. “It’s more like, ‘Oh, this is a cool concept, being able to ­afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.’ ” Small towns and strong tribes keep him in check, too. “You know you can’t piss around and be a fool, because you’re going to embarrass your family,” he says. “Hasn’t stopped me, though.”

Sam Neill says there was never any doubt Waititi would be able to steer a major movie with energy and imagination. “It’s no accident that the whole world wants Taika,” he says. “But his seductiveness comes with its own dangers. You can spread yourself a bit thin. The temptation will be to do more, more, more. That’ll be interesting to watch.”

Indeed, I find myself vicariously stressed out over the list of potential projects in Waititi’s future. A Roald Dahl animated series for Netflix. An Apple TV show based on the 1981 film Time Bandits. A sequel to What We Do In The Shadows. A reboot of Flash Gordon. A gonzo horror comedy, The Auteur, starring Jude Law. Adapting a cult graphic novel, The Incal, as a feature. A streaming series based on the novel Interior Chinatown. A film based on a Kazuo Ishiguro bestseller. Plus bringing to life the wildly popular Akira comic books. Oh, and for good measure, a new instalment of Star Wars, which he’s already warned the world will be … different.

“It’s going to change things,” he told Good Morning America. “It’s going to change what you guys know and expect.”

Did I say I was stressed for Waititi? I meant physically sick.

“Well…” he qualifies, “some of those things I’m just producing, so I come up with an idea or someone comes to me with an idea, and I shape how ‘it’s this kind of show’ and ‘here’s how we can get it made.’ It’s easier for me to have a part in those things and feel like I’ve had a meaningful role in the creative process, but also not having to do what I’ve always done, which is trying to control everything.”

In the 2014 mockumentary horror film What We Do in the Shadows, which he co-directed with Jemaine Clement. (Alamy)

What about moving away from the niche New Zealand settings he represented so well in his early work? How does he stay connected to his roots? “I think you just need to know where you’re from,” he says, “and just don’t forget that.”

They certainly haven’t forgotten him.

Jasmin McSweeney sits in her office at the New Zealand Film Commission in Wellington, surrounded by promotional posters Waititi signed for her two decades ago, when she was tasked with promoting his nascent talent. Now the organisation’s marketing chief, she talks to me after visiting the heart of thriving “Wellywood”, overseeing the traditional karakia prayer on the set of a new movie starring Geoffrey Rush.

Waititi isn’t the first great Kiwi filmmaker – dual Oscar-winner Jane Campion and blockbuster king Peter Jackson come to mind – yet his particular ascendance, she says, has spurred unparalleled enthusiasm. “Taika gave everyone here confidence. He always says, ‘Don’t sit around waiting for people to say, you can do this.’ Just do it, because he just did it. That’s the Taika effect.”

-----------------------------------------------

Taika David Waititi is known for wearing everything from technicolour dreamcoats to pineapple print rompers, and today he’s wearing a roomy teal and white Isabel Marant jumper. The mohair garment has the same wispy frizz as his hair, which curls like a wave of grey steel wool, and connects with a shorn salty beard.

A stylish silver fox, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if he suddenly announced he was launching a fashion label. He’s definitely a commercial animal, to the point of directing television commercials for Coke and Amazon, along with a fabulous 2023 spot for Belvedere vodka starring Daniel Craig. He also joined forces with a beverage company in Finland (where “taika” means “magic”) to release his coffee drinks. Announcing the partnership on social media, he flagged that he would be doing more of this kind of stuff, too (“Soz not soz”).

Waititi has long been sick of reverent portrayals of Indigenous people talking to spirits.

There’s substance behind the swank. Fashion is a creative outlet but he’s also bought sewing machines in the past with the intention of designing and making clothes, and comes from a family of tailors. “I learnt how to sew a button on when I was very young,” he says. “I learnt how to fix holes or patches in your clothes, and darn things.”

And while he gallivants around the globe watching Wimbledon or modelling for Hermès at New York Fashion Week, all that glamour belies a depth of purpose, particularly when it comes to Indigenous representation.

There’s a moment in his new movie where a Samoan player realises that their Dutch coach, played by Michael Fassbender, is emotionally struggling, and he offers a lament for white people: “They need us.” I can’t help but think Waititi meant something more by that line – maybe that First Nations people have ­wisdom to offer if others will just listen?

“Weeelllll, a little bit …” he says – but from his intonation, and what he says next, I’m dead wrong. Waititi has long been sick of reverent ­portrayals of Indigenous people talking to kehua (spirits), or riding a ghost waka (phantom canoe), or playing a flute on a mountain. “Always the boring characters,” he says. “They’ve got no real contemporary relationship with the world, because they’re always living in the past in their spiritual ways.”

A scene from Next Goal Wins, filmed earlier this year. (Alamy)

He’s part of a vanguard consciously poking fun at those stereotypes. Another is the Navajo writer and director Billy Luther, who met Waititi at Sundance Film Festival back in 2003, along with Reservation Dogs co-creator Sterlin Harjo. “We were this group of outsiders trying to make films, when nobody was really biting,” says Luther. “It was a different time. The really cool thing about it now is we’re all working. We persevered. We didn’t give up. We slept on each other’s couches and hung out. It’s like family.”

Waititi has power now, and is known for using Indigenous interns wherever possible (“because there weren’t those opportunities when I was growing up”), making important introductions, offering feedback on scripts, and lending his name to projects through executive producer credits, too, which he did for Luther’s new feature film, Frybread Face and Me (2023).

He called Luther back from the set of Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) to offer advice on working with child actors – “Don’t box them into the characters you’ve ­created,” he said, “let them naturally figure it out on their own” – but it’s definitely harder to get Waititi on the phone these days. “He’s a little bitch,” Luther says, laughing. “Nah, there’s nothing like him. He’s a genius. You just knew he was going to be something. I just knew it. He’s my brother.“

I’ve been asked to explicitly avoid political questions in this interview, probably because Waititi tends to back so many causes, from child poverty and teenage suicide to a campaign protesting offshore gas and oil exploration near his tribal lands. But it’s hard to ignore his recent Instagram post, sharing a viral video about the Voice to Parliament referendum starring Indigenous Aussie rapper Adam Briggs. After all, we speak only two days after the proposal is defeated. “Yeah, sad to say but, Australia, you really shat the bed on that one,” Waititi says, pausing. “But go see my movie!”

About that movie – the early reviews aren’t great. IndieWire called it a misfire, too wrapped in its quirks to develop its arcs, with Waititi’s directorial voice drowning out his characters, while The Guardian called it “a shoddily made and strikingly unfunny attempt to tell an interesting story in an uninteresting way”. I want to know how he moves past that kind of criticism. “For a start, I never read reviews,” he says, concerned only with the opinion of people who paid for admission, never professional appraisals. “It’s not important to me. I know I’m good at what I do.”

Criticism that Indigenous concepts weren’t sufficiently explained in Next Goal Wins gets his back up a little, though. The film’s protagonist, Jaiyah Saelua, the first transgender football player in a FIFA World Cup qualifying match, is fa’afafine – an American Samoan identifier for someone with fluid genders – but there wasn’t much exposition of this concept in the film. “That’s not my job,” Waititi says. “It’s not a movie where I have to explain every facet of Samoan culture to an audience. Our job is to retain our culture, and present a story that’s inherently Polynesian, and if you don’t like it, you can go and watch any number of those other movies out there, 99 per cent of which are terrible.”

*notes: (there is video clip in the article)

Waititi sounds momentarily cranky, but he’s mostly unflappable and hilarious. He’s the kind of guy who prefers “Correctumundo bro!” to “Yes”. When our video connection is too laggy, he plays up to it by periodically pretending to be frozen, sitting perfectly still, mouth open, his big shifting eyeballs the only giveaway.

He’s at his best on set. Saelua sat next to him in Honolulu while filming the joyous soccer sequences. “He’s so chill. He just let the actors do their thing, giving them creative freedom, barely interjecting unless it was something important. His style matches the vibe of the Pacific people. We’re a very funny people. We like to laugh. He just fit perfectly.”

People do seem to love working alongside him, citing his ability to make productions fresh and unpredictable and funny. Chris Hemsworth once said that Waititi’s favourite gag is to “forget” that his microphone is switched on, so he can go on a pantomime rant for all to hear – usually about his disastrous Australian lead actor – only to “remember” that he’s wired and the whole crew is listening.

“I wouldn’t know about that, because I don’t listen to what other people say about anything – I’ve told you this,” Waititi says. “I just try to have fun when there’s time to have fun. And when you do that, and you bring people together, they’re more willing to go the extra mile for you, and they’re more willing to believe in the thing that you’re trying to do.”

Yes, he plays music between takes, and dances out of his director’s chair, but it’s really all about relaxing amid the immense pressure and intense privilege of making movies. “Do you know how hard it is just to get anything financed or green-lit, then getting a crew, ­getting producers to put all the pieces together, and then making it to set?” Waititi asks. “It’s a real gift, even to be working, and I feel like I have to remind ­people of that: enjoy this moment.”

Source: The Age

By: Konrad Marshall (December 1, 2023)

[cyborg-franky]

Shopping Trip With One Piece Characters

Part of a trade with the awesome @softcenteregg

Doffy - The very definition of “Get in loser, we’re going shopping!”

Has money but you will have to pay for him all day when it comes to lunch and drinks.

Will be sitting at a restaurant at 11 am with a cocktail as he tells you about his week, regardless of if you asked or not.

Checks out the mall hotties.

Laughs when people open push/pull doors wrong.

Always has a cocktail or a Starbucks clutched in one hand, waving his credit card around in the other hand.

Rude to salespeople.

You will be dragged through the mall for hours because he needs to go into every designer shop he can and try on at least seventeen pairs of $400 sunglasses or he’ll die.

Will be the most overdressed person in the area,

When your having lunch with him and he sees someone he doesn’t like, he will be like “Oh hey! Been so long since we hung out, should do it again soon!” then soon as they're gone he’s dishing the dirt.

Also, you will carry his bags, thx.

Roger

Makes you wish you could get those reigns for kids but in adult sizes.

In fact, the entire trip is like taking a child out for his birthday.

Ever seen a huge bearded man grinning in pure glee at the new limited edition Build a Bear products? Ever seen one make like 12?

Do yourself a favor and limit his booze and sugar intake.

Is confused he can’t do a pub crawl in a mall.

Buys alot of those ‘alcoholic chocolates’ by the box load in an attempt to get a nice buzz going.

Thrift shopping but he will try on everything he can.

Does not know how to dress but does it with style, oddly enough.

You won’t get a chance to sit down or rest unless it’s dinner time.

At least he’ll sleep well tonight.

Kid

Hit’s all the stores that sell music and band merch.

Will snort at people who buy things he doesn’t like.

Throws around words like ‘poser’ and judges everyone.

The kinda metal kid who hangs out at the mall with all the wallet chains looking like their parents grounded them, but in their late 20s.

Will spend hours looking for CDs and just say he’s too broke and he’ll download it online anyway.

Walks around the mall trying to find the right shade of lipstick with Killer, both their arms and hands are covered in testers before they both just get more black nail varnish and the same shade they always buy.

Has a reusable plastic cup that's full of jack and coke. 

Taunts mall cops.

Killer

Imagine all of the above but he also spends alot of time looking at fancy new cook wear.

Will spend nothing on food all day but will drop $90 on a brand new crockpot or air fryer for the kitchen.

Very metal of him.

Thatch

Thatch is fun to go with.

Treats you, buys the coffee and lunch.

Is happy to do whatever you want as long as he gets to check out homeware sections while you look at your things.

You will never lose him behind shelves because you can always see his hair.

Like Jaws but with hair and ozone layer murdering levels of hairspray.

Will flirt with staff, will get talking to them for far too long, and hold up the line.

The type of person who has alot of change and makes it a personal challenge to count out change exactly.

Will carry your bags though, he’s a good boy.

Bit judgey on eatery places pastries.

Shanks

I hope you enjoy getting nowhere because when you're at a mall with Shanks or out and about in town you will be stopping every ten steps because someone recognises him and comes over and chats.

Has no concept of how long he’s been talking.

Is the type to have a pint with breakfast or brunch when you guys hang out.

Sale on ugly pants? He’d push you down to get there first.

Always texting the gang when he’s out.

Lol Benn guess what, I saw Buggy and he was with that guy, you know, the one with the hook, lol lol

Will drop Uta off at the mall kids' soft play area even though she’s 18 and still forget to pick her up before leaving.

Ace

Low key baits mall cops by loitering around and looking like an issue but has no intention of being an issue.

Might skateboard inside the mall.

Poses with ‘no skateboard’ signs.

Hopefully, there isn't an arcade in the mall because if you had any intention of getting things done today, that won’t happen now.

Hungry every 20 minutes and has to grab snacks.

100% the kinda friend/boyfriend who sits on the seats outside the changing rooms holding all the bags and groaning, acting like it’s the worst thing in the world.

Is one of those people who opens push/pull doors wrong.

Marco

After taking five minutes to park correctly he’s happy to go with the flow. 

Likes to have a coffee and a people watch with you, chatty and social.

But he will drag you to shoe stores and you will be sat there for ages as he tries on every strappy sandal in the place, walking up and down and asking you what you think.

“I like this one but I don’t know if it makes me too tall yoi.” while you can’t for the life of you tell the difference between that pair and the last 40.

If you meet him at the mall he might be late, very much the shows up 20 minutes late with Starbucks.

Has a tendency to wander off in shops and you spend half your time looking for him.

Doesn’t give a warning when entering a shop if something shiny caught his bird brain.

Benn

He hates the mall.

Imagine a dad who has to take his teenage daughter clothes shopping and that’d basically be him with Shanks.

Benn is a very ‘I know what I am here for’ in and out kind of person but he doesn’t mind going to other places with you.

Ignores staff-only signs when he knows there is a smoking area on the other side of that door.

Is the person to remind you of the ‘insert thing here we have at home’ and is a shop sensible person, though he won't say anything if you do buy another T-shirt that looks exactly like the one you already have.

Pretends to be annoyed at carrying the shopping, but he offered and he likes to help you out.

If you complain about your feet hurting he’ll helpfully tell you he told you to wear your other shoes.

Sabo and Luffy

Banned

Both have their pictures up in the security office.

Sabo for giving the mall cops the finger, graffiti, and shoplifting.

Luffy peed in the fountain and kept stealing pick-n-mix.

[being-addie]

Rest Days

It's currently peak summer where I live, and it is SWELTERING. While I'm planning to be as productive as possible (I'm not kidding my sketchbook is with me 24/7 at this point), thanks to the heat, I'm finding it really hard to stay focused sometimes. So when I'm feeling particularly lazy, or just distracted I take a rest day. I feel like I can afford this right now more often because it's the holidays, but when my classes restart in June I won't be able to even sit down.

ANYWAYS. Here's what I'm currently doing during an easy rest day. Maybe you can take some inspiration <3

My rest days:

Sleep in: I sleep until it's nearly 7:30 - 8:00 am. It's late for me because usually, I wake up at 6:00 am

Move around: If it's cloudy, I'll go for a walk, otherwise, I'll cycle to the gym.

Breakfast: I usually have this thing, where I saute some veggies, scramble eggs, and cook savoury oatmeal, then mix it all together. It's healthy and filling and it's amazing with barbeque sauce. If I'm craving something sweet, I make banana-oat pancakes (which taste and look so much better than regular pancakes I swear)

Sit in the sun: It's morning, and the sun isn't harsh, so I sit in the balcony with my cold coffee and chat with my mom as I soak up that Vitamin D

Watch a little TV: I'll watch like 2 episodes of the show I'm invested in (I'm watching Big Bang Theory)

Get ready: Take my sweet time bathing, doing my hair and getting dressed.

Sketch: So this is both productive and relaxing for me, so I'll pull up Pinterest and do some practice or I'll go to a cafe and do a live study.

Do a little crafting: Ok so this is my therapy. I'm not joking. I put on some Lana Del Rey, and make a mess of my desk. I love making little handmade gifts for family (I just made this insane exploding box thing for Mother's Day lol) or making paper crafts. I'm learning how to crochet as well. Highly recommend it. Put in your earphones, get your scissors out and start making something. Doesn't have to be pretty, just keep going.

Watch the sunset: My gallery is so full of pictures, I don't have any room for anything at this point. 85% is just sunset pictures.

Evening: I just eat dinner with my sister and grandpa, and then we like to sing and dance as I load the dishwasher and she cleans the table.

Read: After chores are done, I read on my tablet for a while.

Sleep: Bedtime skincare and lights off at 10:30.

I've actually done this in way more detail than I thought haha, but this is basically a way more relaxed version of my daily routine, just no studying?? But yeah here it is.

Understand that rest days are required. You do not have to constantly work. Humans are meant to socialise and have fun, as well as work. We aren't worker ants or bees. Relax, and remember to breathe. Everything will be ok. xoxo.

<3

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @scottlava

Scott Campbell has illustrated numerous children’s books, including SKULLS!, Sleepy the Goodnight Buddy, and Zombie In Love. He was author/illustrator of the much-loved HUG MACHINE. He enjoyed a long career in video games, where he art directed the critically acclaimed game Psychonauts and Brutal Legend for Double Fine Productions. Great Showdowns is his ongoing online series. Scott’s work has appeared in galleries and publications around the world. You can see more of his work at ScottC.com.

Check out our interview with Scott below!

How did you get your start in art, and more specifically, with Great Showdowns?

I went to art school in San Francisco and have been painting, making comics, and designing video games ever since with Double Fine Productions. The Great Showdowns began at the first Crazy 4 Cult exhibition at Gallery 1988 in Los Angeles back in 2007, an exhibition of artwork inspired by the cult classics of cinema. The first 10 little paintings were intended to be snack-sized pieces for people to easily collect. They began with perhaps the most iconic of wild west showdowns from A Fistful of Dollars with Clint Eastwood. I pulled some of my favorite moments from films like Ghostbusters, Predator, Exorcist, and Planet of the Apes and placed them all in simple little dust-colored squares as if they were in the dirt streets of a wild west town. They began as good versus evil but grew to all kinds of showdowns between people and objects and often moments of great love between people. I started a tumblr for them a few years later, and I have been posting them ever since. We have published three Great Showdown books and have had 3 solo exhibitions along with worldwide scavenger hunts. There are over a thousand of them up on the site by now, and i do not plan on stopping any time soon.

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

I would like to gather Jim Henson, Walt Disney, and Richard Scarry together for dinner and chats. They have all created my favorite and most joyful worlds. I think we would have some of the most delightful chats.

What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

I love collage, but every time I try it, I get frustrated and just quit. Someday I will get into it when my kids are old enough to really mess around with various mediums. I plan to have boxes of textiles and magazines for them to just annihilate.

What does your work set up look like?

Oh, it’s just a table with an old mug for water and an old plate for my watercolors and not much else. I share a studio with a bunch of very inspiring people who make wonderful things, from fabricated creatures to VR experiences and films. I have probably the simplest little area in the space. I do have an old oak flat file that I love to look at.

Advice you would give to an aspiring creator?

The biggest thing I would push upon everyone would be to not fret about one’s visual style. The style will grow and present itself as you experiment with mediums and expose yourself to various cultural delights. Just have fun and try all kinds of things.

What is one interaction you had from a fan of yours that has stuck with you over the years?

I gave a game design presentation many years back on a game I had art directed at the time called Brutal Legend at a game conference in Leeds. The game followed a roadie to the age of metal in the land of metal, with demons and chrome volcanoes and hot rods growing from the ground, and rivers of happy and cheering fans. After the talk, I spoke with someone whose work I had seen in earlier portfolio reviews at the conference. She was very shy but incredibly talented. She came up to me after the talk feeling pretty emotional and inspired to the point of tears and sobbing. It was probably the most extreme reaction I have ever gotten from someone, and it touched me deep down in my guts. That’s why we make things! To bring on the tears!

From video games, to illustrations, and children's books, you've worked on many projects. What was the most challenging, yet rewarding one?

Video games take an enormous amount of work over a long period of time and rely on the skills and talent of many like-minded people. It is sometimes difficult to corral such an effort, but it is incredibly rewarding to see it all come together to create such epic worlds. That said, though, children’s books are very enjoyable in a cozy way. It’s just me right there working on a world and all the pressure is on me. I cannot rely on all the talented people around me to make it look great.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

I love perusing old fashion and film blogs and artists like Bob Jinx and Neil Sanders and collections like Its Colossal.

Thanks for stopping by, Scott! Be sure to check out the Great Showdowns over at @scottlava!

[sadtonight]

"He's like, a family member to me or something!"

Summary: over the course of your impromptu stay at Night Raven College, you gained two new important figures in your life: a boyfriend and a cat look-alike monster. In fact you grown on Grim and he on you so closely that now he actively "gets in the way" of your daily life, according to your boyfriend that is;

Characters: dorm leaders;

Warnings: none, reader is gender neutral, established romantic relationships, grown up characters;

Side notes: thank you for the wait, don't have motivation to do just about anything! Kalim's and Leona's part is kinda sad, damn, I'm sorry. I'm projecting on Leona like crazy- (I don't kin him but we are painfully similar 😔)

Riddle

— you being accompanied by Grim back in Night Raven College wasn't something unusual to Riddle. The feline had been reserved a special seat beside you at the Unbirthday parties (the chair with a stack of pillows) and was expected to wear special Heartslabyul bow around his neck and to follow the rules of the dorm;

— so when Grim moved in with you and Riddle, the later considered it to be a given for Grim to adhere to already established order. However, in spite of your boyfriend becoming laxer about the rules the monster still argued with the red haired more times than you could count, unlike Riddle who have been compiling lists of rules the weasel had violated ever since first setting foot into your shared house in the Queendom of Roses;

— amends were made each time, though one perpetual cycle of breaking a single rule drove Riddle straight into madness: Grim regularly ate the desserts meant for you in secret. The desserts your boyfriend ordered Trey to make FOR YOU to eat together. It was a tradition in your little family to hold afternoon mini tea partiers just like in Heartslabyul, in the yard surrounded by colourful roses, if the weather was appropriate, or in the house in the main room;

— eating delicious sweet treats, drinking tea and chatting about nothing in particular with you, his partner with whom he felt he could let loose and indulge in his hidden childish side, was like a dream come true, the pastime bringing him genuine delight. Riddle loved having your hand wrapped around his as you visited Trey's family bakery and choose what to feast on at today's party. Riddle loved setting up the table and brewing tea along with you, pulling our the china the two of you adored. And of course he loved the main process, during which your boyfriend couldn't prevent himself from beaming due to sheer elation;

— but none of those positive emotions would take place if Riddle upon opening the dessert box with your treat finds pastry leftovers. "GRIMMM!! Come here right this INSTANT and face the repercussions for your offence!!" were spine-chilling words you knew would make the cat monster dash into your arms instead of Riddle's. Your boyfriend would insist on putting his signature heart-shaped collar on the perpetrator, while you would do your best to master the most doe-eyed face and plead him to settle on letting Grim go with a warning;

— Riddle's hand's were tied: no matter how much the male protested, you would squeeze the grey feline to your body and pat Riddle's head to calm him down. If Grim was not to be punished, it was who who had to be. And the penalty was to be feed Riddle's dessert by him personally and to spend more time with your boyfriend today! You wouldn't dare to disobey Queen's orders, isn't that right?

Leona

— two cats living under the same roof rarely led to anything productive. Their relationship, if you could call it that way, hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows since Night Raven, although you did become an unwilling mediator, but the two would always try to make you pick a side;

— usually it was Leona who got the short end of the stick because he was a stronger magician and, well, stronger in physical and in mental senses too. It didn't mean that your boyfriend wouldn't take any opportunities to put a sassy monster, who celebrated his victory way to openly and loudly, and consequently you, back into place;

— for instance, if Grim managed to convince you to go out on the cloudy evening instead of lazing around on the couch with warm blankets for the rest of the day just like your boyfriend suggested, the beastman would straight up hide all the umbrellas in the house while you were getting ready to go out;

— as a result, both of you came back from the walk dripping wet, Grim accusing Leona of the sabotage. Meanwhile the male would shift on the couch making some space for you, smugly adding: "That's what ya get for not listening to me. Hah, it's better if you crawled here under the covers now unless you want to get sick. If that happens, you are all by yourself";

— another reoccurring practice happened in the morning. At last, no one was there to shake Leona out of the bed, so he opted for cuddling with you until he got bored or grew extremely hungry. Unlike him though, famished Grim couldn't just sleep on his grumbling stomach and needed you to order food or cook him a huge breakfast. In both cases it meant you were forced to get up, which Leona couldn't allow to happen;

— before the cat monster could make his moves, the male would swiftly take the feline and put him on the other side of the bed, away from you, and slam his free arm on top of Grim. This way, the cat was trapped, pinned to the mattress. The monster would try to wriggle free to no avail and scream for help, but Leona's arm basically got him in a chokehold, so poor creature couldn't make any loud noises to stir you awake;

— your boyfriend desperately wanted to have your attention and care solely for himself. Of course he felt jealous of that stupid weasel monster, obviously he wouldn't admit it out loud, whom you spoilt a tad bit more. But Grim meant a lot for you, and you always reassured your lover of deep infatuation you held for him, so the male tried to tolerate Grim for your sake. Leona hugged your body closer to his chest with his other hand which wasn't pinning annoying monster down. What he wouldn't do for you to not give up on him...

Azul

— oh this man right here could solve any "problematic situations" involving Grim through talking alone. And by "talking" Azul usually meant solving troubles by using contracts, bribery, blackmail, implicit threats etcetera, something he considerably improved upon after graduating from Night Raven College;

— thankfully, learning from past experience wasn't grey monster's forte, thus allowing octomer to constantly play same tricks again and again. Though he had to be creative about his convincing since if he didn't succeed in persuading Grim, the feline would tell on him to you and that would lead to unnecessary confrontation which only damages your blooming relationship!

— that's how your boyfriend would frame it: Grim wanted to create a divide between you two so you would break up with him and become lonely and lost, with no-one to confide in, with no benevolent soul to turn to, no shoulder to dry your tears on... All those theatrics happening because you ordered a take out, with the monster's preferences in mind which he voiced beforehand, and forgot to ask your boyfriend if he wanted something other than what he would usually order;

— neverless, the most hearted arguments between Grim and Azul happened on weekends or on the days when Azul was free of work. The male retained his interest in board games, requesting his fellow former club mate Idia to send new noteworthy board games if any appeared. The game night were established, and in concept it sounded entertaining if not for the weasel who couldn't stand playing logical games all the time;

— octomer never ever wanted to drabble in the whims of the lady luck and enjoyed winning "fair and square", even with the use of witty remarks that setted Grim off. Thankfully, Azul was your boyfriend so whenever you lost he would instruct you to do harmless romantic gestures, like to kiss him one hundred times or spend the rest of the day sitting on his lap but the monster wasn't nearly as fortunate as you: Grim had do to the dishes for a week or clean the bathroom spotless;

— the frustration Grim had after losing to Azul several times per session, knowing well what kind of things Azul would assign him do, agitatined monster would drag you away to do something way more fun. Your boyfriend, in theory, could play along and lose on purpose for Grim's sake, but there was no point in doing so when he could get easy wins: "Grim, if you wish to be victorious so badly, you should practice more instead of wasting your time on complaining. But I feel rather gracious tonight, so I could teach you a few tricks, however it would come with a price tag";

— they both played dirty: Grim would use his natural cute animal charm to woo you and Azul would get handsy and try to sweet talk his way not only into your heart but also into your mind. Gosh, you just wanted to have a normal board games session for once.

Kalim

— unlike a good portion of individuals you have meet during your time in the magical college, Kalim was among those who treated Grim nicely from the get go despite a rocky first meeting. When the question of you moving in with Kalim raised, your boyfriend immediately wondered if Grim was going to live with the two of you, hoping to hear affirmative response;

— your grey fur companion was more than satisfied with local delicacies, and since the feline could summon food with a swing of his shaped tail, there was no shortage of silver plates and golden trays scattered around the premise you lived on;

— one tiny problem did make Grim's fur stand upwards: Kalim's pets. He acquainted the weasel with colourful and diverse bunch, consisting of non venomous snakes and pythons, a few elephants, over a thousand of exotic birds and parrots, little monkeys, camels and many more animals. With some, Grim got along fine, but with other he couldn't even stand being near, like with alligators who jokingly warned the monster not to come close when they yawn;

— Kalim was worried sick about Grim not fitting in and liking new home, although the male masked it by being overly indulgent. You had to grab your boyfriend's hand and lead him to secluded, unoccupied room or area to talk it out. Your boyfriend insisted on handling everything on his own just fine, yet his wavery smile couldn't fool you;

— "I'm not making everything worse am I? It doesn't look like Grim is unhappy but..." the male lost his trail of thought as you gently combed through his a bit overgrown white hair, his head not being tied by anything and laying on your lap. You knew Grim for quite a long time and could read him like an open book, so you were up most truthful when you reassured Kalim: the gray cat monster was very happy living here;

— with time your boyfriend also learnt to read Grim and successfully pamper the creature. Everyone in the house could see how close they came to be, often causing mischief that you had to witness or take care of. It was amusing when they took turns talking your ear off telling you about what sort of things they did today. Naturally, you didn't pass opportunities to join in with them, laughter and tears doubling in quantity as a result;

— at the end of the day, Kalim would lie on the huge king-size bed, surrounded by warmth radiating from you and Grim, thanking whatever entity for giving him a chance to meet you, his priceless partner, and fun, little, cat-looking companion Grim;

Vil

— constant squabbling... No matter if on those long or short occasions when Vil was able to be home for a week or no more than ten minutes, they always, ironically enough, fought like a cat and dog;

— to give some credit to your boyfriend, he did try to treat Grim like a person. But to an extent, the monster was resembling a feline animal not in a visual way alone, but also in his behaviour. Probably the loudest argument thus far was when beautiful male made a mistake of condescendingly offering to call to a vet clinic when monster became as sick as a dog, after eating an entire box of spoilt tuna Vil had hidden from Grim long ago so the latter wouldn't eat it in one go;

— prior queasy, dead looking Grim who was flatten out on your thigh was immediately replaced by an enraged fiend who threatened to burn Vil to crisp for making fun of his crippled state. You had to beg your boyfriend to cook up a potion for stomach relief, which he actually made in advance, but pretended to be unassuming and struck up a deal which was to spend a several days holiday alone with you whereas Grim would stay at home;

— the struggle for attention wasn't the only challenge, Vil additionally was forced to lead continus and draining war with cat fur. He had approximately 3 different lint rollers in every bag he carried with him, not to mention the whole house being dry and wet cleaned, vacuumed and dusted every two days by you, maids or Vil personally;

— no matter how many times your boyfriend brushed Grim's fur with a cat brush, while holding poor creature in a steel death grip, that peaky fur found it's way on his clothes: "Grim, if you won't groom yourself more like a proper cat is supposed to, I swear not even our precious darling here would save you from the shaver!";

— needless to say, the weasel sleep in your arms every time after those words, in fears of Vil finally acting upon his threats, and letting out a sigh of relief when he woke up to finding himself still in his grey coat;

— there were positive moments in their lives as well. It was a rare but incredibly satisfying to stumble upon your boyfriend sitting on the sofa reading a book while patting napping feline beside him. Or when Grim boasted out loud about managing to flawlessly replicate Vil's yoga training, the latter putting his hand on the mouth to hide his striking, proud smile;

— Vil actually invited Grim to parties and formal gathering too, though he wasn't allowed to talk a lot. You were grateful to see your monster companion with a glint in his eyes eating expensive food and taking in glorious sights, and in turn your boyfriend was admiring your beautiful gladness you subconscious expressed;

Idia

— kitty-cat~~ Truly, it was a love from the first sight. No no no, not with you, but with your adorable, grey feline friend you spend time with! Hey...Idia loves you too, if he didn't, you wouldn't be living with him and Ortho in the same house in the first place;

— anyways, Grim was put off by your boyfriend in general, and also by the love towards the weasel, since he would rather not be treated like a cat, unless it was you. Don't forget the fact that Idia had tendency to make weird faces and noises, so when the feline was toeing between dream land and reality, he would sometimes be spooked by tall lanky figure standing before the bed and giggling like crazy in the dark after clearing raid in an online game;

— Idia couldn't tell for sure if he was envious of how close you were with Grim or how nice you were to the monster. Like, now he could relate to main characters who got pissed off when the mascots received tons of affection from their love interests in anime and visual novels. "Not faaair, if I had been a cute cat like Grim I would be getting stacks of kisses 24/7~..." Idia would lament under his breath, thinking you couldn't hear him, when he saw how you babied the cat;

— however, flame haired male would be lying if he didn't find you playing or just spending time with the monster adorable. Idia would shamelessly a with his toothy grin take pictures of you sleeping on your shared bed with Grim nested to your body, the thoughts in his head revolving around "stocking up his moe folder with more pics of you and Grimmy";

— Idia totally is that person who loves cat's but they are not that fond of him. Poor man would buy the tastiest tuna found on the internet and yet the instant Grim was finished with food he would leave from the male's lap. That was your que to wear cat ears, which belonged to Idia for some reason, and plop on your boyfriend's lap instead. W-well, your company wasn't all that bad too... Please don't mind the pink hair tips;

— even though Grim considered Idia to be strange and in turn Idia endlessly pined for cat's affection, they were chill with each other. One thing that bothered not only you but Ortho was that they both ate junk food in large unhealthy amount every day and holled in the house with curtains closed shut. Seriously, even you couldn't spend this much time watching films and playing video games!

Malleus

— their relationship was akin to the swings: Malleus at times found Grim amusing and at other times...annoying, dare he say. In the same manner once Grim found out the identity of "Horton", he was against of you dating literally "the scariest guy ever" but along the way he kind of grew to admire Malleus, but the monster was still wary of the fae who frequently summoned lightning bolts when he was disgruntled;

— you often playfully fought with Grim and got bite marks and scratches on your body and especially arms from the feline. Initially, Malleus mistook your antics for something more sinister and would almost waterboard the cat if you didn't decide to check out the bathroom. When the situation was cleared up your boyfriend showed genuine remorse, sincerely apologizing to the monster, whom you were drying up with a towel, but Grim never really forgot about the incident;

— although your boyfriend was still pleased with how skittish the grey monster was, because he could scare him easily and in this way take out revenge for stealing your time that you were supposed to spend with the briar prince. The weasel could run up to you and show you something on the phone, making you laugh, while Malleus would get an awkward chuckle when he tried to tell a joke. His pride was hurt and day was ruined...

— with this much knowledge stored in one person, the dragon fae had lots and lots of stories to share which he had read from the books or heard directly from Lilia. You loved listening to those, handling them like a bed time stories, though you never got to hear the endings due to Malleus using low, lulling, a bit murmurous voice, soothing you to fall asleep in the process;

— Grim on the other hand was thrilled to discover new interesting individuals of Twisted Wonderland. When the male's tale came to a halt, the monster immediately demanded to get the ending. Malleus only softly patted Grim's head and kissed your forehead, talking to you but words directed at Grim: "Please, be patient. I wish for your friend, and my lover in the same time, to hear how this legend ends. I can't help but wonder what sort of reaction it would spark?" he said mysteriously and layed back down on the bed, cradling your body, green eyes ominously twinkling in the dark, sending chill down Grim's spine and as if telling him to go to sleep already.

[compactstreamer]

(source)

Transcript below the cut:

Roscoe: You could say Jerma985 is something of a performance artist. He creates huge, elaborate, surreal productions complete with cast and crew, and it's all streaming live for hundreds of thousands on viewers on Twitch. NPR's Alex Cheng takes us inside Jerma's latest big show, a baseball game between clowns and magicians, to ask how—and more importantly—why?

[clip of Sportscaster continues in background: Welcome to Carshield Field, where we have Jerma Baseball Association action for you!]

Cheng: At a baseball stadium in suburban St. Louis...

[Sportscaster: ...a big-time match-up between the California Circus and the Maryland Magicians...]

Cheng: ...a team of clowns in full face makeup and baseball uniforms runs out onto the field. Those clowns played a four-hour game of baseball in real time against the Magicians in the opposing dugout, and tens of thousands of viewers tuned into the live-stream on Twitch. There were breathtaking acrobatic displays...

[Sportscaster: Actually we've got three outfielders unicycling currently!]

Cheng: ... and even the umpire himself stepped up to the plate.

[Sportscaster: The umpire is about to enter this game for California?!]

Cheng: That umpire was the mastermind behind the whole show, Jeremy Elbertson, better known as the streamer Jerma985.

Jerma: I'm just, y'know, calling balls and strikes and doing all these wacky things. I'm just, in my mind I'm going "I hope this is funny. I hope this is funny. I hope this is funny."

Cheng: To create this high-production fantasy world, Jerma had to hire real baseball players, real circus performers, and actors from across the country who wanted to play make-believe. He gave his cast an outline of the baseball game, along with pages and pages of gags he'd come up with, but he let them make decisions on the fly.

Jerma: It's like a live comedy improv show.

Cheng: And Jerma says the real key is his relationship with his streaming audience on Twitch.

Jerma: I'm coming up with a scenario that I think is a fun time for everybody. That's all I care about.

Cheng: Cecilia D'Anastasio covers the video game industry for Bloomberg. She says these big, performance-arty shows are unusual for Twitch.

D'Anastasio: What Twitch's bread and butter is, is a streamer going about their life quite casually and playing video games and just chatting with their fanbases.

Cheng: So why does Jerma do these shows on Twitch, instead of making a movie or a TV show? Well, for one, the liveness of the platform creates a unique sense of unreality, and of course, money is always a consideration.

Jerma: Movies are expensive. Way more expensive than trying to get a bunch of people together to do a show on Twitch for a few hours.

Cheng: Jerma studied communications and video production in college. Then, about a decade ago, he started messing around on YouTube.

[clip of Jerma continues in background: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to episode one of Jermacraft!]

Cheng: Several years later, he switched his focus to Twitch. He mostly streamed normal gaming stuff, which he still does plenty of, but he also tried a couple of small, outside-the-box experiments, like hooking himself up to a lie detector to answer questions from viewers, or...

Jerma: I hired a fake family to come be my family at a family dinner.

Cheng: Jerma built a team of collaborators, some from his tight-knit viewer community, and together they started staging bigger and bigger events. Things hit a high point in August of 2021 with the Jerma985 Dollhouse Stream.

[Jerma Dollhouse theme music plays in background]

Cheng: Imagine a live-action version of the video game The Sims, on a sound stage, with a big cast and crew, and starring, of course, Jerma.

Jerma: The nature of that whole show was "I'm a person in a house, you get to decide what I get to do."

Cheng: Over three days of streams, Jerma's viewers made him simulate eating, sleeping. They even made him fight a bear.

[clip of Jerma in the dollhouse: You wanna do what?!?]

Cheng: Or at least, a guy in a bear costume.

[clip continues with Jerma yelling, bear grunting, and audience applause]

Cheng: The show was a smash hit. The third day of the Dollhouse peaked at over 100,000 concurrent viewers. That's a lot for Twitch. Cecilia D'Anastasio at Bloomberg says popular streamers can make good money on the platform.

D'Anastasio: Subscriptions, donations from fans, advertising, sponsorship deals.

Cheng: But Jerma's big shows are way more expensive than sitting in a gamer chair playing Elden Ring. They may not be on the scale of a movie, but Jerma says some of his productions can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, so he has to find big-money sponsors for his events.

Jerma: It can be a real challenge trying to convince a team of marketing people, "Hey so there's this idea, it's gonna cost a lot of money, and it's gonna be really fun, don't you think?"

Cheng: And some big sponsors are seeing the potential. Jerma says the shows are paying for themselves. For the Dollhouse stream, Coinbase chipped in, and Jerma found new sponsors for the baseball stream. Here's D'Anastasio again.

D'Anastasio: It's not that the streaming space is maturing, it's that it has matured.

Cheng: But even if Jerma's big shows are making money now, he knows there are no guarantees in the world of live-streaming.

Jerma: Nobody really knows how long this is gonna last. Does this evolve and become even larger than it is now, or does it go bust at some point?

[clip of Sportscasters continues in background: And oh my goodness, everyone clearing the dugout!--oh, clearing the bench--the Maryland Magicians... oh my goodness, this is bad!]

Cheng: Why fight for a vision that's so hard to explain and even harder to realize? Like making clowns brawl with magicians on a baseball diamond.

[Sportscasters: Oh boy--utter chaos!--This is just an all-out brawl, the mascots are stripping down...]

Jerma: Why not? It sounds like fun, and it seems like something that could make a lot of people happy, so I'm gonna do it.

Cheng: Alex Cheng, NPR News.

[instrumental outro music plays]

[theastrical]

you’re the only one who understands

what is it like to say goodbye to your partner without saying goodbye?

kaeya x reader

implied major character death, sudden death, teenage angst

notes: please listen to keshi-understand while reading this!! I promise you won’t regret it <3

it was around 7pm. sitting in front of your laptop, your eyes already red, probably from the exhaustion at your university….or maybe, the expectation to greet kaeya at this certain time, while you both have been in this long distance relationship for a while.

you texted him, expecting him to immediately reply, knowing that would happened, it’s currently evening in his area and he’s a night-owl at that, evening is his awakening if you might titled him.

“wanna facetime?���, you send him the text. you were already smiling by that time, just seeing his profile picture or his chat, makes your day…a much better hell.

i expected it, he’s online now…hmm and he’s typing! i wonder if he put my contacts exclusively outside his do not disturb notifications…well, we can wonder?

kaeya called…i guess he immediately knows it’s time, huh?

“hey..”, his voice raspy; sweet i thought. Though it’s weird that he’s tired, it’s still 9pm in his timezone.

“Why so tired”, a gap of silence, maybe he fell asleep?…or maybe his eyes are already sticky enough that it could easily closed down. “…hmm, a bit.”

“you sound raspy, ironic, you’ve always been the one to remind me to drink my water.”

“hey, even that reminder can be exhausted”. He sighs, you can imagine that he’s doing the facetime exactly in his bed, while all of his caffeine products are everywhere around the floor. Kaeya is nowhere near the word clean. He chuckles slightly, continuing his words with question. “Hey, when will you comeback?”

“i don’t know, summer break maybe?”, unsure, worried, and excited. Three emotions in combine, maybe he misses you?

“chonky misses you…and...that applies to me as well.” dang i miss chonky, his cat, his big chonky cat that always purr whenever a stranger pet him. He has no survival skill for sure.

“what? Why? you’ve always texted and facetime me as well..chonky should’ve been the only one to miss me, not you, silly.”

“i need somebody to talk to..”

“you can always text me.”

“no, like real person. Like you and me.”

“you make it complicated kae.”

“fine”, he sighs. You replied, trying your best to assure him despite how much of a bitch that sounds before. “sorry, i know you must’ve been lonely. Diluc says you’ve been bed rotting all day long.”

“Dang, he must’ve worked for you.”, he finally chuckles.

yet he continued his questions, he always been one to prey over small details.

“say, what if i’m going to another place tomorrow? Will you…just say, visit me before i leave..?”

“why not?”, he heard that word and chuckles. “Just say yes or no, please?”, with your ego out of this world, you mumble a quiet…”sigh…yes, i will..”

“then if i go tomorrow? Will you visit me?”

“where?”

“hmmm wanna make a guess?”

“Univ?”

“better”

“New job across the town?”

“even better”

“Fuck i don’t know kae..just tell me already.”

“It’s a secret, just come back already…i miss you so much.”, he chuckles while opening his camera. You can see how he smirks like a childish moron. “If you come back home, i promise i’ll let you see chonky with his tie again.”

“that’s a hard thing to resist urgh!!! Fine i’ll come back tomorrow, i think my siblings won’t mind my existence till next week. I’m free after all..” , you tell him while opening your camera as well and give him the picture of you just moving around the bedroom, you’re currently tidying up your place while in the call. “promise me you will okay? I have a surprise, you’ll love it”, he gives you the small sighting of a…present. A red box. “It’s for your late birthday, sorry i’m not much of a good boyfriend it seems”, he say that before closing down his camera and giggles like a maniac.

“you don’t have to act romantic in order to love me you know, let me thank you properly with a templated paragraph hahaha.”

“idiot.”, he replied shortly, you know he’s happy and that makes you all smiley. Your cheeks are red, yet he doesn’t seem to care for it…cause if he cares, then you would hide it from him. “I’ll end it now okay? I wanna sleep..chonky is being a rascal for making me run to catch him.” , you laugh, you know he’s tired so you just made a muffled “hmm”, before he says,

“i’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight..” he gives off a smooch and end it. You send an emoji to his chat instead. A white love emoji.

[name] 10.12pm : bye kaeya, love you.

he read it.

kaeya 10.18pm : 🤍

ring…ring…ring…

Kaeya? I’m here. Sorry i’m late…

ring…ring….

ring…ring….

kaeya?

your phone is ringing kaeya. Pick it up. I’m here, please call me back.

ring…ring…

20 miss calls from [name] 🤍

kaeya?

why are you so quiet?

It’s not like we’re distant.

i might forget to drink my water now.

I’ll miss you.

And i wish to understand you better,

before you eventually say goodnight to me.

you’ll always stay 21 forever now kae, but i’ll keep celebrating your birthday, even if nobody remembers you anymore.

notification: Today is kaeya’s 30th birthday, do you want to celebrate it? 🎉🎁

taglist: @esthelily @indarius @n0tamused @sangoqueenkoko @voidlesslove @lyralibra @eroxotckv @rikasurl @dailypenpen @daydreaming-paradies

to be included in the taglist, send me ur @ via askbox.

[lightwing-s]

alfred meeting food blogger reader for the first time during weekly visit when he off to new york visiting jason (which he gives Alfie reader's home address since reader wants to meat his grandpa) but encounter them in the farmer market when he and the reader both reach for a fresh batch of apple at same time in the same stall, also, jason and alfred both pretend not to know each other when reader introduce her new friend to her boyfriend as jason hugs himself around reader🍎❤🍎

It was a nice saturday morning, the early sun rays warming his face and contrasting with the still cold air hanging around. Jason had lost you sometime ago, but he didn’t worry. There was no need for it, in fact.

Y/n was always excited to go to the farmer’s market. And by excited he meant very, eager, exhilarated, psyched. You loved it. All kinds of fresh delicious food. All kinds of unique and different products. Everything a food lover, kind-of-a-chef, and content creator would love.

So he didn’t worry when he suddenly missed your hands in his, and your constant chattering about any and every product you found mildly interesting. He knew you were safe and that you would come back. And that’s a feeling being in Gotham never really granted him.

“Jason! Babe!” he heard you calling, quickly turning around in the direction your voice was coming from. “I found the most beautiful strawberries I’ve ever seen” you told him once he arrived beside you, eyes sparkling at your excitement.

They were truly beautiful. Big, bright red and without a flaw in sight. “My new friend, Alfred, and I were just chatting about how difficult it’s been to find such good strawberries these days, isn’t it?”

Turning to face your new friend, Jason followed your movements to land eyes in one of his most beloved and well recognized features. Alfred, now clad in a jacket and something else other than a suit, but still as posh, smiled at his foster son, extending his hands for Jason to shake. “Nice to finally see you again, Master Jason.”

The look on your face, of complete shock and surprise, must have been entertaining, because your boyfriend blurted out laughing at you, while you remained not understanding a thing. And then it clicked.

“He’s your Alfred?” you questioned, looking frantically between the two men. “Oh my gosh, you are his Alfrend, aren’t you? I’m so excited to finally meet you!” you embraced the older man, a bit surprised he let you do so without knowing you that much.

“And I’m happy to finally meet you too. Master Jason has talked a lot about you, miss.” Alfred threw a knowing glance at Jason, and you could’ve sworn his cheeks turned pink.

“And he has told me a lot about you too. In fact, you’re the only family member mister grumpy tells me about.”

While the two engaged in a long conversation, going from you excitedly asking Alfred to tell you about Jason’s childhood, to different kinds of food and recipes and cooking tips you could remember, Jason smiled happily at you two. Two of the most important people in his life getting along so well and so quickly.

He felt a strange sensation on his chest. A good sensation. One that made the small box hidden in his drawer seem ideal.

“Hey, Alfie” he interrupted, laying his arms around both yours and Alfred’s shoulders. “How about we get some breakfast back at our place?”

[neomedievalist]

hey chat. I did a deep (medium) dive into gamescent to figure out what the fuck they meant by any of that

first of all, the price tag, holy shit. second of all, AT PAX EAST? it took me a second to realize implication of this being at pax east. this is going to be an INVOLUNTARY EXPERIENCE for some people LOL. THE STINKY BOOTH AT PAX EAST.

The first thing I wanted to know is how the fuck does this use ai? i conjured a beautiful world where we could actually experience ai-generated scents but no, obviously it's just a buzzword used to drive investors. it uses ai to analyze the sound in your game to dispense the appropriate scent, which sounds bad.

Brief interlude i love this ai generated image they use on their "blog" section on their website, me and my little car i use for gaming

the first thing you'll find with this article and the website is that they are downright ADDICTED to pretending smell-o-vision was a good thing.

AHEAD OF ITS TIME? I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.

GEOFF, I DON'T THINK THE INSUFFICIENT TECHNOLOGY WAS THE ISSUE HERE.

The ONLY benefit of using AI they can come up with is the timing of the release of the scent lolll

ANIME SCENT

I'm personally obsessed with them calling it DLC because I have no idea how this is supposed to be downloadable lmao i couldn't find anything on their website using this terminology. Geoff Keighley what did you mean by this. You wouldn't download a scent.

to the eager anticipation of all ultrakill fans/sex freaks the BLOOD scent DLC will be coming soon.

there's a giveaway section for data harvesting and apparently 11,000 entries which i somehow doubt

I really love the vague wording here "will not be responsible for any outcome" ANY OUTCOME?

I forgot to say of course they have an app lmao. and i love how every physical item you buy is now just a license to use that item now. Surely they wont shut down service for this making your 200 CAD scent box useless laughing crying emoji

Literally what the fuck is this what does this product have to do with fitness. i can't find ANYTHING correlating this. i had a sneaking suspicion that most of this writing was ai generated but this might just confirm it lol

What is this tweet

tldr im not looking at this anymore when are they releasing the gabriel ultrakill armpit sweat dlc scent