#what fo you mean i should have just taken your word for it on the translations

[aotreblogspam]

i truly do believe that christianity and autistic christianity are two completely different things...

[thirteenducks]

rest for the weary

(neuvillette x fem!reader) [sfw]

༻❁༺ content: fem!reader (reader is referred to as 'girl'), no established relationship

༻❁༺ word count: ~1.9k

༻❁༺ tags: sickfic? sort of?, mild hurt/comfort, gentle and tender Neuvillette, being overworked, fainting, neuvillette is sexy in a paramedic kind of way, crimes against gloves, almost-crimes against pastries, "you will be taken care of So Help Me" neuvillette, very self indulgent, can you tell i'm a college student

༻❁༺ author’s note: blame my mutuals for putting talk about neuvillette being gentlemanly and kind on my twitter feed. this is their fault and also the four glasses of sangria i drank before i wrote this

Neuvillette would like to believe he understands human behavior quite well by now. What he does not understand is their tendency to be self-sacrificial to the point of exhaustion. When your stress reaches a fever pitch, he steps in.

You don’t remember if it was the fatigue or the hunger that you noticed first. Both have been on the fringes of your consciousness since you left your bed early this morning. Right now, they’re kept at bay only by a lingering headache that worsens as you step out into the clear day.

The beautiful azure of the morning sky above. The flocks of pigeons that dapple the steps of the Palais Mermonia like sunlight through leaves. The hum of the Court of Fontaine as coffee sales begin for the morning. All are lost on you as you forge ahead, feet barely clearing the cobblestone below them.

The papers on your desk, stacked high and demanding attention, are all that your bleary eyes register at the moment. Anything else is secondary.

As much as your conscience would contend it, your current predicament isn’t entirely your fault. Sure, you had procrastinated a bit when the pile of records was first assigned to you, and maybe hadn’t chipped away at it the way you could’ve if you planned ahead. 

For a gestionnaire, though, it’s also just that time of year when the clouds pour rain daily and the opera house sees a never-ending rotation of cases.

So if that means some sacrifices on your side are required, you’re willing to make them for the good of the Court. You’re certainly not the only one, either. The circles under the Chief Justice’s eyes always grow darker during the rainy season; you hope he’s taking better care of himself than you are.

Once you’ve gotten rid of this batch of paperwork, you’ll be free to rest for a while, you tell yourself. You can take a break. Maybe you could walk to that cafe down the street with the nice cashier and get yourself breakfast, if the rain isn't too bad by midmorning.

Your knees waver under you as you carry the precarious stack of records to the threshold of your office. On second thought, maybe you should ask if they offer delivery.

The low murmur of a familiar voice, a pleasant bass melody, reaches you as you step out into the plush carpet of the hallway. It floats through your dizzy head like syrup.

Good. You won’t have to walk far to give these to Neuvillette, then. You’re not sure your feet would carry you all the way to his office anyway, and you’d rather not field any uncomfortable questions about your health from such an esteemed man. 

Assuming what you hope is a pleasant expression, you approach the Iudex and Sedene as he bends at the waist to inspect a bump on her antler. 

There’s a very becoming look of concern on his face, you notice. It must be nice to be the focus of such care.

The unfazed voice of a Melusine comes from somewhere below you: “I promise it’s just a mosquito bite, Monsieur. I must’ve stood around the docks for too long this morning.” 

“Even so... I would administer some anti-inflammatory soon, Sedene. Please don’t neglect your health,” he chides as he pats her head affectionately.

Neuvillette rises again to his full height, catching your eye as you draw near to him.

A fetching smile upturns the corners of his mouth. He greets you with a stately nod, holding out his right hand for your stack of records. Your gaze flits to his other hand, currently engaged by an apple turnover.

Ah. A gift from a Melusine, no doubt. You hope he enjoys it, even if a part of your brain wants you to snatch it for yourself.

If Neuvillette catches the way your eyes linger on his breakfast, he doesn’t mention it. What he does is quirk his head to the left in a silent question as he continues to stand with his hand outstretched.

Oh, archons. How long have you been standing in front of him with a blank look on your face? Too long to be appropriate, certainly.

Clearing your throat and forcing a smile, you take a step forward to hand off your pile of papers to him. Only, instead of making contact with the floor of the hallway, your shoe falls into thin air as your other knee buckles and your back falls towards the carpet.

As your consciousness slips, you feel a cool hand snake around your waist.

Your head goes limp, bouncing a bit with the impact until the pastry drops to the carpet and Neuvillette’s other gloved hand comes to cradle the back of your neck.

He’s caught you. He wishes you were awake to instruct him what to do next.

He lowers you to the ground softly, brow creased with worry. Sedene stands next to him with a similar expression, holding the turnover she saved as it fell. 

“Sedene. Bring me a pillow from the sofa in my office, please. Quickly.”

The Melusine salutes and she darts off. His eyes never leave your face as he kneels, large frame bent over you protectively.

Releasing your waist, he brings a hand up to his teeth and tugs off the glove in a smooth motion before resting his bare fingers against your forehead. A curse in a tongue unknown to all but him breaks the quiet air and his brows knit together. Humans and their damned self-sacrificial nature.

Sedene returns holding a cushion. He eases it under your head with care, ensuring your neck is supported before he retracts the hand underneath.

There in the Palais hallway, the Iudex of Fontaine strips himself of his judge’s coat, uncaring of decorum at the moment. Gentle hands graze your bare skin as he wraps the garment around your shoulders. Were you conscious, you would feel the softness of the silk lining against your cheek and the scent of the ocean it carries with it.

He knows from his extensive observations of human behavior that you’ve probably only collapsed from fatigue, not sickness. And yet… and yet he cannot keep himself from stroking your forehead, cool fingertips resting there as he meditates.

Another moment passes before he makes up his mind. Your body rises from the carpeted hallway floor into strong arms, seldom-seen muscles flexing under his white undershirt. 

The change in altitude brings you halfway out of your daze. Through hazy vision, you catch the sight of pale skin moving above you. His slit eyes meet yours and you don't manage more than a small sound of confusion before you’re pulled back under by sleep.

With a brief nod to Sedene, Neuvillette carries you to his office in a few quick strides. The door slides shut behind him.

Your hands unconsciously tug on his lapels and you curl your body closer to the warmth of his chest, making his ears burn.

Every time he thinks he understands your species, something like this happens. 

He had certainly noticed your energy waning over the last few days, but he worried about the propriety of mentioning such a thing to you. Would you resent him for asking about something so personal? Should he send someone closer to you to step in before you hurt yourself?

In the end, he had settled for bringing you breakfast from a nearby cafe. He glances at the turnover, now sitting innocently on his coffee table courtesy of Sedene. It taunts him.

The silence in his office is deafening as Neuvillette lays you carefully on the sofa next to his desk. He runs through the list of human vitals in his head.

You’re breathing quite deeply. Your pulse is healthy and strong as his fingers press against the side of your throat. The color in your face is returning to its normal shade. Surely all you lack is a good meal, which he can certainly provide, and some rest. 

Then why do his hands shake as he pours tea into a cup on the table before you?

Why can he not keep his eyes from you as you sleep, chest rising and falling in a gentle rhythm? 

Why does he find it impossible to return to the paperwork that calls his name just a few feet away?

A clap of thunder shakes the building.

He doesn’t realize how long his eyes have been trained on yours until you’re staring back at him through lowered lids, awakened by the noise.

It takes about a half second for you to remember the circumstances of a few minutes prior and gasp, sitting up with a speed that makes Neuvillette reach towards you in concern. His coat falls from where it was draped across you and you stare at it, unblinking. 

Your gaze flits to Neuvillette, bare to the wrist. He watches silently as you register the sofa you’re laid upon and the lavish office around you.

The Chief Justice makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat when you rush to stand up, face burning. Your head spins - whether from fatigue or embarrassment, you’re not sure. A million apologies threaten to spill from your mouth at once.

With your head bowed and your feet unsteady below you, you don’t see the hand rising to your face until a cool sensation spreads over your flushed forehead. The surprise of it shuts you up immediately. When you do dare to raise your eyes, you hardly trust what you see in front of you.

There is no anger in the face of the Iudex, in the downturned curve of his mouth or the crease of his brow. Only tender concern presents itself as he addresses you.

“You appear to be feverish. Please, sit back down. I won’t have you fainting again if I can help it.” He removes his hand from your skin, leaving behind a burning sensation that you can't attribute to a fever.

“Mon- Monsieur?”

He tuts, raising the cup of tea to your hand and folding it into your grasp. “Drink, please,” he murmurs, face etched with care. 

You blink a few times, sipping the drink as if compelled by magic. It's sweeter than you’re expecting.

“Good girl.” 

You nearly choke on it.

If possible, Neuvillette looks even more distressed by your sudden coughing fit. “You’re far redder than when you awoke. The fever reducer in this blend should help with that, but in the meantime, please take some of this…”

The minutes pass quietly. Periodically, Neuvillette instructs you in a gentle tone to drink your tea or eat a bit of pastry. He absolutely forbids you to stand after the second time you attempt to excuse yourself.

When he's been assured that you're comfortable, he speaks again.

“May I ask why you believe those papers you were attempting to bring me were worth working yourself to exhaustion over?” 

His words are authoritative, but his voice carries such softness that you can’t help but be honest with him.

“I’m so very sorry, Monsieur. It won’t happen again. I’ve just had a lot on my plate this week.”

Neuvillette's violet eyes are melancholy as they meet yours. “Of course. It’s a busy time of year for us all,” he says, shifting his gaze to the steady rain outside. “I do hope you know, however, that I would far rather your work be late than your health to fail on my account.”

You duck your head. “...I understand, Monsieur.”

The man’s stately expression fades into something unreadable at that.

“...Please, call me Neuvillette.”

You were unaware that his voice, so commanding in the courtroom, could sound so tender directed at you.

Your gaze darts up from the floor. The Iudex is not meeting your eyes. His are fixed instead on the light drizzle pattering the windowpane. A faint swathe of color decorates his lofty cheekbones.

As you smile and nod your head, pronouncing his name with a few words of thanks, the morning sun streams into the room behind you.

It’s getting to be quite the lovely day outside.

[professionalsimpforgeorgeweasley]

What They'll Say About Us

Seven

"I've been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted. Your dad is always mad and that must be why, and I think you should come live with me and we could be pirates then you won't have to cry or hide in the closet." - Taylor Swift

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Summary: you solved the case and now feel as though your really apart of the team. But will the dynamics shift after you head back home?

Warnings: infidelity, domestic violence, descriptions of death involving the case, lying about virgin status?, verbal abuse, mentions of underage sex, crying, allusions to smut ( but just wait till the next part babes *wink, wink*), lmk if I missed anything else!

What They'll Say About Us (Masterlist)

Your dad first hit you when you were sixteen.

The memory is still a blur. All you could remember was hiding in your closet with Ellie while she sobbed violently. You tried your best to protect her ears from your mother's screams and pleas.

At some point it had become too much to handle and you knew that you had to do something to help your mom. You told Ellie to stay and she begged you not to go but you didn't listen even though you should have.

You remember seeing your mom cut and bruised laying on the floor, your dad lurching over her. You quickly jumped on his back and starting hitting him as hard as you could but you were no match for a fully grown man. He threw you to the floor and kicked your stomach and at some point between his hands and your face he'd forgotten that he was your father.

You ran out of the house as fast as you could. You had taken your father's wallet off of the entry table before closing the door and running to the nearest bus station. You bought yourself a bus ticket to California and next thing you knew you were on the Caltech campus frantically searching for the building that Spencer told you he lived in and knocking on his door.

He opened with a look of shock but before he could get any words out you found your lips attached to his. You had later told Matt that you were a virgin when you started dating him your junior year but that was a lie considering you had lost your virginity to Spencer Reid the spring of your sophomore year in 1997.

You laid on Spencer's chest and listened to his heart beating. "I wish I could just stay here with you and never go back." You could feel your voice shake and tears threatening to spill on spencer.

"me too" he huffed staring at the ceiling "but we both know you can't."

"I know."

_

It turned out that having the knowledge of IVF actually helped the team solve this case extremely fast. The unsub was a mother who had lost her child due to medical complications during birth. She blamed the clinic that helped her get pregnant saying that the IVF "poisoned" her child and her. But the harsh reality was that her baby didn't receive enough oxygen when he was born. So she decided to kill expecting mothers so that they wouldn't have to grieve the same way that she had.

Cases that you worked in sex crimes had taken a toll on you but not like this. You could never imagine getting the happiest news of your life just to have it all ripped away from you in an instant. Well you could but you had chosen to lose your child which was completely different.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked.

"yeah this case was just a lot you know. Like I've come face to face with some real sickos working sex crimes but this women she was just hurt. She lost her baby boy and broke down." You paused to regain your composure "I mean she shouldn't have killed all those people but she shouldn't have to had watch her baby take it's first breath and die in the same five minutes."

"as fucked as this may sound, at some point you start to get used to the cases like these and they get easier to let go. I find a good drink in your hand always helps" She smiled. "Hey do you want to come have drinks with me, JJ, and Penelope at Penelope's apartment? Or is that husband of yours waiting for you?"

"I'd love too! And no he's on a business trip for the next two weeks." You smiled finally starting to feel apart of the team.

_

All of you were multiple drinks into your small get together when you decided to play never have I ever.

"Okay I have a good one" JJ giggled "Never have I ever slept with someone from Quantico!"

All four of you took shots from your cups.

"wait I know about these two but you Y/L/N?" She gasped "please kiss and tell." All three women leaned in and patiently waited for you to tell them who this mystery person was.

"okay I'm going to tell you but I want all of you to keep your mouths shut." You sighed "it's Spencer." Everyone's jaws dropped at your confession and the room was filled with silence.

"dang nabit I owe Morgan twenty bucks!." Garcia exclaimed and everyone laughed. Meanwhile JJ pulled a five out of her purse and handed it to Emily.

"wait how recent was this sexual encounter between you and our boy genius." JJ questioned.

"it was when we were sixteen, I went to visit him at Caltech and it just happened." You shrugged.

"we all need to give Rossi thirty on Monday." JJ reminded the two girls and pulled a twenty out of her purse handing to once again to Emily. You gave everyone a confused look before Emily started to explain.

"well it all started when pen and Morgan made a bet that you two slept together so me and JJ made the same bet but with lower stakes. Then we made a bet on if it was recent or when you guys were the best of friends. Then Rossi bet all of us that you were the girl he lost his nerdy v card to in college."

You should've felt insulted but you just laughed. You laughed so hard you though you might pee your pants until everyone joined in. It made you happy to apart of the family dynamic that was the BAU.

_

Walking into your house you felt overjoyed. But all this was over in a matter of seconds when you heard Matt yell your name from the living room. The amount of fear in your body sobered you up as you walked towards him.

"matt what are you doing home I thought you were in Florida?" You asked anxiously.

"I was until I got a funny call from your doctor asking how your recovery was going. I was surprised when she told me about the abortion you got a few months ago but I was even more surprised when she asked if you needed to refill your birth control." He was speaking so calmly that it made your body tense "I didn't want to believe that my own wife was lying to me but I walked into your bathroom and found these in your vanity." He threw your birth control on the coffee table.

"matt I'm so sorry I can explain." You quivered in fear.

"no you can't! You wanted me to spend all my hard earned money on IVF because your not woman enough to have kids just to sneak around behind my back!" He screamed. "You just wanted to whore yourself out to Spencer didn't you? That's why you needed the birth control huh? Cause your sleeping with him but you don't want him to knock you up. That's why you took that job!"

You felt a harsh sting across your cheek followed by the hardwood floor of your living room hitting the back of your head. You felt the same way you did when you were sixteen, helpless. You were helpless enough to let your father hit you and then you moved on to Matt who was no better and had the power to use your body.

You spaced out and took the blows until you heard the front door slam shut. You felt the sensation of blood running down your lip and your stomach and arms felt limp but that didn't stop you from running to your room and packing almost everything you had into a duffle bag.

You dialed the only number you knew by heart into your home phone and waiting for him to pick up.

"Spencer I need you to come get me please."

_

Spencer was at your house within ten minutes. He helped you into the car and held you while you cried in the front seat and explained to him what had happened but leaving out the part where Matt accused you of sleeping with him knowing that it would only make him blame himself.

After that you both rode in silence back to his apartment. When he unlocked the door you felt safe and at home. He let you take a shower and gave you a pair of his boxers and a hoodie to sleep in just like he used to.

"the couch really isn't that comfortable so you can take my bed and I'll sleep out here." He explained but you gave him a pleading look that silently asked him to stay with you. He understood and guided you to his room. You both climbed into his bed and faced each other.

"I love you Spencer." You confessed.

"I love you too Y/N." He yawned clearly not understanding the power your words held.

"No Spencer not like how friends love each other. I mean I really love you and I should've said it that day I went to Caltech and I shouldn't have called you after I left and said it was a mistake because it wasn't the only mistake I made was not telling you how in love with you I really was and I'm so-" He interrupted you rambling by kissing you. You let out a soft moan as you opened your mouth to deepen the kiss and threw your legs over his hips to straddle him.

"Y/N we really shouldn't your all bruised and shaken up still." He pulled away breathless.

"please Spencer I just need you." You whined and pulled him back and he stopped protesting. You hadn't felt so loved and cared for since you had last been with spencer twelve years ago. That night you let yourself embrace the feelings that you had been pushing down since you were ten. And you learned that it would be something you wouldn't regret.

you laid on Spencer's chest the same way you did that spring. "I wish we could just stay like this forever."

"this time we can" he beamed down at you.

"I know"

_

A/N: not gonna lie this seems really short but I promise it is Intentional and just kinda plays into the chaos of 24 hours. I was extremely tired writing this so it might not make sense and have lots of errors so I apologize. Anyway I hope you had fun reading this cause I tried to make it 50% happy and 50% sad. I'll see y'all next part with some Smutty smut smut 🙌💗.

[simplydannie]

Hi Dannie! I’m sure you’ve seen these storyboards on insta but showing them to you in case you missed them. Originally Vels would spray Veneer with troll even when he said he didn’t want it. It’s funny but it really showed how much she doesn’t listen to him. Really good character moments. Your stories are so good so whenever I find something inspiring I send it your way

I’ve only seen like one frame of this story board! Now that I see all of it I get the whole context. These are pieces I wish they would’ve left in the movie to see these character moments just like you said! So much was left out on these two characters that I wish they kept in. Poor Vennie though 🥺 Let see, I’m going to go based off the first 4 shots:

Just Once More

Veneer stared at himself in his vanities mirror. Except for his green little swoop of hair, he didn’t recognize the boy staring back at him. Golden attire, blue diamond boots, cyan eye shadow.

“Is this really you Ven.” He said to himself. Veneer couldn’t help but feel a change, a shift in who he was. But was it a change for the better? Did he really want this? The door to the dressing room bursted open.

“Time for dress rehearsal!” Velvet blurted out. She quickly tossed him a diamond perfume bottle. Catching it in his hands, Veneer looked inside… a Troll, a small little innocent Troll. She looked at Veneer terrified.

“Make sure to get a good spritz in. Now let’s go!” Velvet chimed turning her heels to walk out.

The little Troll already looked so fragile, so weak. Veneer figured she wouldn’t last another spritz. He placed his hand on the pump, his eyes meeting hers. She moved as close to the edge of the perfume bottle as she could, hugging her knees, shaking in fear, her eyes never moving from Veneers. How old was she? Did she have a family? Brother or sister?… Someone she loved?…. He couldn’t do it. Veneer set the perfume bottle aside and followed after his sister.

“ARRRGGGHHH!” Velvet screamed into the mic of the studio booth. Veneer cringed as the sound echoed into his headphones. “It’s still not good enough!”

“Maybe we just need a break? Oh, and maybe some practice. Without the Trolls.” He gestured.

“What we NEED is more Troll! Especially if we want to make it to the Rage Dome show!!” Velvet took off her headphones and marched back into the booth. Veneer sighed and followed after her.

“Where is it? Where’s the little Troll?” She demanded.

“She’s back at the dressing room. Why?” Veneer placed a hand on his hip.

“Crimp! Go get her now! We need another spritz!”

“Really Vels? Again?”

“We’re so close to getting everything Veneer! We can’t give up now!” Crimp came walking in with the diamond that held the little Troll, shivering again in fear. “You go first. I don’t think you had enough. No offense little bro, but your voice was lagging it just a tiny bit…”

“No.” Veneer suddenly cutting her off. Velvet was taken back, a look of surprise crossed her face as she furrowed her brows at her brother.

“What did you just say?”

“No. I’m done using Trolls. Let’s just practice Vels! Have you ever heard of lip syncing anyways? I mean, look at the poor thing!” Veneer pointed at the diamond. The small little Troll let out smile toward him, hopeful that perhaps she’d be freed. Velvet noticed the look of admiration the Troll was giving Veneer… and she didn’t like it one bit. Velvet scowled at her brother as he kept yapping.

“I’m not saying we should tell the truth, but let’s stop living a lie just for once. Oh! Instead of essence maybe they can tutor us! Be our personal coaches! We can do this on our own Vels! We just need practice! We can- What are you doing?” He asked as she began to lean towards him. She lifted the diamond towards his face. “Vels no! I don’t-!”

Velvet spritz the essence in his face before he could get out another word out. Veneer coughed and choked at the amount of essence Velvet prayed on him. He did his best to inhale the least he could, but choking on it made it hard as he gasped for air.

A tingling sensation expanded throughout his body. He didn’t know what it was. It felt like some sort of high, his mind and vision blurring back and forth, trying to defer what was reality and what wasn’t. A sense of euphoria spreading through his body for just a moment... it felt… good.

He finally stopped gagging, breathing heavily as the sensation in his body calmed down a bit. He was holding his stomach, a sort of scowl on his face.

“What was that!” Veneer exclaimed as he held on to his throat. Velvet reached over to push in his tongue that was slightly hanging out.

“The feeling of stardom!” Velvet looked down at the diamond and frowned. “Ugh! Really! I knew I shouldn’t have sprayed you with that much. Time to restock the supply!” Velvet tossed the diamond in her hand towards the trash can as she walked out the studio room. A confused expression crossed Veneers face. He walked towards the trash can to peer at the diamond.

“Oh no….”

Picking up the diamond, he noticed the little Troll inside was not moving, she no longer bore the colors she had a moment ago. Her eyes were closed; she looked so peaceful. Veneer opened the diamond and gently shook the little Trolls body into his hand. He gently stroked her little face.

“…. I’m sorry…” He whispered, a look of despair crossing his face…. They were… killers. Tears began to stream down. How could they get themselves out of this one? How could they have known doing what they did would kill a little Troll? No matter what Veneer said, they would forever be murderers now.

“…I’m so, so sorry…” He didn’t even ask her name. He didn’t even know if she had a family… and they had just taken that away from her. He heard his sister renter the room.

“Seriously! You’re crying over a Troll.”

“We need to stop Vels.”

“No! We’re so close to the top. Once we’re at the top, we’ll stop I promise. We just need a little bit more Troll. He’s our last one so we got to manage!” She extended her hand and shook the diamond. Inside was a fresh new little Troll….Dark pink hair, bluish skin, it was a boy this time. He banged against the diamond prison.

“Hey! Let me out!” Floyd screamed. “Guys, come on don’t do this to me.”

“You asked for it Troll. Tell him Ven.”

Floyd looked desperately at Veneer who only turned away to avoid his gaze; the Trolls words still stinging his heart.

“Veneer, please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”

But the Rageoun didn’t respond, he only continued to hold and caress the little dead Troll in his hands.

“See! You asked for this!” Velvet said holding the diamond to meet her eyes. “You reap what you sow, Floyd. Veneer! Get rid of that one. It’s grossing me out. We have a show to practice for.” Velvet was once again was gone.

Standing up, Veneer began to head towards a hall that lead him to the outside. He was going to bury her, properly.

He walked towards the center plaza of the studio that had a huge artificial tree blooming from the center. Fortunately, it was “planted” in dirt, to make it seem real. Using one hand, Veneer dug a tiny hole. In the other he still held the small Troll. He looked at her one last time.

“You didn’t deserve this. I- I couldn’t save you. I didn’t even try. I’m sorry.” He cried. He placed a small kiss on her little face. Veneer gently placed her in the hole and covered her up.

Thoughts began to race his mind. Was this worth it? Could this be Floyd? But his sister, she worked hard to get them here, to get them to a fabulous, better life. He had to do it, he had to do it for her. Memories of the euphoria he felt raced in again. The feeling of confidence, of dominance. It was pleasing.

Besides, Floyd wasn’t who Veneer thought he was. He thought Floyd truly cared… but he never did. He wasn’t their friend… not anymore. Yet, he still didn’t want to hurt him. If they were careful maybe they wouldn’t?

So perhaps… just one more time wouldn’t hurt.

[inkybloom-luv]

hi hi inky!! i hope youre doing well!!! i thought about my request and i decided to do something basic ^^ i hope asking for headcanons is okay? i didnt see any hc specific rules so UH IF!! YOU DONT WANT TO WRITE HCS DRABBLES ARE FINE!! WHICHEVER IS EASIER FO RYOU IM NOT PICKY!!!

im sure a lot of people can relate to this so yk,,, may i request azul (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and trey with a significant other thats very reserved around new people (like clings to them during social events and group projects but is still capable of working on their own if that makes sense?) just overall someone who feels really safe with them!! and theyre super bubbly and teasing when theyre around but with everyone else theyre :I

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE?!?!? AND IF YOU DECIDE TO WRITE THSI REQUEST I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN!!! SUPER EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU WHIP UP EHEHEHEH and make sure youre drinking water and resting when you need to ^^ i will stop mothering you now just know that jamil loves u <3

Shy? Not quite

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

Heyyyy I'm genuinely ashamed at how long this took me but ig I just needed better music?? Literally the second I put on the song I'm listening to rn it just came out like organized word vomit- anyway!!! HOPE YOU ENJOY I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT

Characters; Trey Clover and Azul Ashengrotto

Content; Trey and Azul hc's with a S/O who is reserved around most others, especially in a social setting but bubbly and teasing around them

Gender neutral pronouns used!

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

Trey Clover

• I feel like Trey knows how to deal with a S/O that behaves in such a way

• He has siblings and in a way that’s how they act. That means he, in a way, knows how to handle the situation, but that doesn’t mean he’s not surprised when they act like that the first time.

• He remembers that clearly, they were teasing, joking and laughing on their way to an event but how much they quieted down once there almost shocked him.

• Almost because his sibling mode kicked in. He didn’t even realise until he’d taken most of the attention off them actually

• He didn’t ask what exactly happened with them at the event but when they left and were sitting back at home he did.

• He felt happy when they were back to their usual self although the teasing did make him grin sheepishly.

• He felt even happier when he learned the true nature of that shift; the fact they felt so safe with him that they could be themselves. The teasing sure did always catch him slightly off guard though

• Expect your favourite treat the next day with a sweet note and perhaps a few extra bits of affect here and there throughout the day

Azul Ashengrotto

• On the outside you wouldn’t think Azul was all that affected by his S/O’s behaviour

• Oh how wrong you’d be because he was very much affected!!

• Not that he chose to show it mind you, but their behaviour sure threw his poor heart through a predator-filled tsunami

• Regardless of that his acting barely faltered at the event itself though he did shoot them quite a few more glances than usual, as he was actually worried they were not feeling well.

• He actually asked about half an hour to an hour into the event if they were alright due to their suddenly much cooler nature.

• They were handling tasks with others rather well but still he was worried, so it put them at ease when they said everything was alright.

• He told them to speak up should they be uncomfortable or not feeling well regardless though.

• Like Trey he also only asked once having left the event and in the privacy of his office.

• To say his heard sputtered and his cheeks grew red for long enough to be caught like that would be divulging secrets, but here we are anyway.

• He did catch himself but he now knew they felt safe with him, safe by his side.. and perhaps he’d recognise soon he feels the same way about you.

[karimlover]

Heartstrings of the Haunted

Pairing: George Karim x Reader

Summary: After you get hurt during a mission, you and George get closer, and fall inlove

Warnings: Kissing, hospitals, light angst

Words: 983

AN: Requests are open now, so if you have a request, pls send it so I can write it! Thanks for reading and enjoy!

The sterile smell of the hospital room mixed with the faint hum of machines was the first thing you noticed as you gained consciousness. Your eyes blinked open, squinting against the harsh light. Pain radiated through your body, and you winced, trying to piece together the events that lead you here. 

Lockwood and Lucy had been with you on a case, a particularly dangerous one, that had taken an unexpected turn. You remembered the adrenaline-fueled moments before everything went black. Now, you found yourself hooked up to various monitors, wearing a hospital gown. 

As your eyes adjusted, you noticed figures slumped in chairs by your bedside. Lockwood and Lucy were there, but they looked exhausted. Lucy’s head was resting on Lockwood’s shoulder and they dozed off together.

Feeling a bit more aware, you shifted and groaned, drawing George's attention.He had been sitting quietly in the corner, his eyes fixated on you.

“Hey there,” he whispered, his eyes lighting up with relief. “You had us worried.”

You managed a weak smile. “What happened?”

George sighed, running a hand through his hair. “The case got messy. You got hit. It was touch and go for a bit, but you’re going to be okay.”

You nodded slowly, grateful for the reassurance. Lockwood and Lucy stirred, as if waking up on cue. The exchanges glances and, realizing you were conscious, offered gentle smiles.

“We were about to head home,” Lockwood explained, rubbing his eyes. “You’re in good hands here.”

Lucy nodded, looking torn. “But George insisted on staying. We thought you might feel more comfortable if someone familiar was with you.”

You looked at George, who avoided eye contact for a moment before meeting your gaze with a small smile. “Didn’t want you waking up alone.”

As Lockwood and Lucy said their goodbyes, George pulled up a chair closer to your bed. “I hope you don’t mind me staying. I just couldn’t leave you.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, touched by his loyalty. “It means a lot.”

George yawned, suddenly looking sheepish. “I might have dozed off a bit.”

You chuckled softly. “It’s okay. I find it endearing, actually.”

He grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You’re not so bad yourself, you know.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. When George spoke again, it was with a sincerity that wormed your heart.

“I care about you alot, you know. More than I probably should.”

You smiled, reaching out to gently squeeze your hand. “I care about you too, George. Maybe we should stop pretending we don’t.”

He laughed, a genuine and carefree sound that filled the room with warmth. “Agreed.”

And, in that quiet hospital room, surrounded by the soft beeping of machines, you found solace in the simple yet profound connection you shared with George. Love, it seemed, had a way of blossoming even in the most unexpected of places.

In the days that followed your release from the hospital, George seamlessly continued his role as a constant presence in your shared home. The chaos of the recent case had left its marks, but within the familiar walls, a sense of comfort and routine began to settle. 

George took on a new level of responsibility, helping you navigate the challenges of recovery, as you all adapted to the changes the recent event had brought. His presence was marked by shared laughter, homemade meals, and an unspoken understanding that went beyond the surface. 

One night, as you all sat around the table, enjoying the food he had prepared, George looked at you with a soft expression. “You know,” he said, his voice warm, “I could get used to this. Taking care of you.”

You smiled, feeling a deep sense of gratitude for the relationships that had formed under the shared roof. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

In the evenings, he would stay close, whether it was watching a movie, researching a case, or just talking about life. The scars of the case were healing. Not just physically, but emotionally, and the shared space you all inhabited became a sanctuary. 

One evening, as you reached for something on a high self, George’s playful smirk appeared. “Need a hand, love?”

Rolling your eyes, you nodded, and with a mischievous glint, George retrieved the item, a triumphant grin on his face. 

“You're going to spoil me,” you teased, the familiar banter a testament to the camaraderie that had developed between you two. 

As the days turned into weeks, the connection between George and you deepened. Late, one evening, as he prepared to leave your room, he hesitated at the doorway. 

“You sure you’ll be alright on your own?”

You nodded, appreciating his concern. “I can manage. Thanks for everything, George.”

He leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Anytime love. See you tomorrow. 

As he left, you couldn;t help but feel a sense of warmth that lingered in his presence. It was then that you realized how much he had come to mean to you, and how fortunate you were to share this home not only with George, but with Lockwood and Lucy, too.

A few days later, George returned, this time with a shy smile on his face. He sat on your bed, and took a deep breath. “I like you’” he began. “I really like you. And I know you like me back, because of everything that happened at the hospital. So since we both like each other, I can;t see why we can’t act like normal adults and just-”

This thought was cut off by you closing the distance between you two, your lips meeting his is a tender, heartfelt kiss. It was a moment that sealed the unspoken promises, turning a pair of friends into something deeper, and promised a life full of laughter, love, and happiness.

[peejsocks]

hii!! could i get a ridiculously disgusting smut with johnny knoxville x femme reader that centers around punished? him being possesive with biting, him spanking overstimulating the reader, the whole nine yards :3

ty i love ur writing and take your time!! it can be a oneshot idc <33

a/n: i hope it’s okay i combined these two, they go perfectly together. sorry it took so long but i think it might’ve been worth the wait. ty for requesting <3

disclaimers/tags: nsfw. nsfk. the word ‘daddy’ is used in a sexual connotation and there is a bit of a daddy kink going on, but no ddlg stuff. knox is more dom and there’s brief spanking. i advise only reading if you’re comfortable.

"I didn't know he was your friend, alright?"

Heels in your hands, Johnny shuts the door behind you loudly. It was a stressful day, you should have stayed home and let your boyfriend go to his friend's dinner party alone.

"Even if he wasn't, that doesn't mean you can just flirt with someone else."

Usually, it was a relief that he didn't raise his tone when he was mad. Today is the kind of day where even such small things get under your skin.

"PJ, please, for the hundredth time, we weren't flirting. We were laughing."

Having dropped your shoes on the hallway, your hands grasp the kitchen counter so you can stretch your back, the straps of your dress scraping against sore muscles.

"So you avoid me the entire night, and I find you carelessly cackling with one of my oldest buddies in the industry, practically leaning on each other…And I'm supposed to be okay with that?"

You can hear his jacket being thrown over the couch in the living room. He's walking to you, but your head is still lowered, eyes closed and trying to remain patient.

"Look, we were both in a bad mood today, I just figured it would be best to have some space." He scoffs a few steps away from you. You sigh. "I told you I could have stayed home, that I'd be bad company, but-"

"But I wanted you there! Why would I want to go to a party without you?"

His voice goes no louder than regular, but you can hear the frustration in the back of his throat. It's infuriating that he won't break character, never the bad guy.

"You liked that he was looking at you?" There's barely any change in his demeanor, except his chin is sticking out. You're still facing him, frozen. "Answer me."

"You liked that he was looking at you?" There's barely any change in his demeanor, except his chin is sticking out. You're still facing him, frozen. "Answer me."

"I would've preferred if you were. But you weren't."

"That's not what I asked." A shiver runs down your spine, aware that your boyfriend is upset. If you're going to stand up for yourself, you know you can't look him in the eyes. "Did. You. Like. That my friend was eating at the palm of your hands?"

"No, I didn't. Because it wasn't you."

The black marble counter is projecting stars across your eyes with how intensely you're staring at it. In no time, you feel Johnny's presence centimeters behind you, his arms closing in on each side, breathing on your exposed neck.

"Are you lying?"

You weren't. His friend was good looking, successful, and definitely paying more mind than he should have to a taken woman. Of a friend, no less. But you weren't reciprocating any of it. Truly, you were just happy to have someone to talk to. It's not your fault if he found you attractive.

"What?"

Fuck, had you just said that last part out loud?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

Your breath hitches when his hand moves closer to yours on the counter.

You know this game. It's the first time tonight you don't feel too tired.

Suddenly, your hips are pushed against the cold marble when Johnny forces you forward with his crotch, humping your ass once. He stays close.

It's a raspy whisper in your ear. "Can you show me you're sorry? Can you show me you're not lying?"

"Yes." It's a quick breathed out plea. It's consent.

Quickly, one of his arms moves away from you and his hand is pressing on your stomach, forcing your ass even more flush to his groin. The other one comes up to wrap, but not squeeze, around your throat. He lifts your head up slightly, speaking softly but demanding. "Yes, what?"

The silver of his hair shines in the corner of your eyes, under the bright lights in the kitchen. You recognize him for what he is, what you love. "Yes, daddy."

With your back so close to him, you can feel his muscles flexing under the tight-fitting jumper he's wearing, and it makes your skin hot.

He looked so good, sleeves rolled up to his elbow, curve of his biceps accentuated every time his arms would fold when he was lost in conversation. All night, while his buddy talked to you, your eyes would trace them over and over. Surely, not the only woman in the room doing it.

Your knees almost buckle when Johnny's fingers begin to slowly lift the soft fabric of your dress, the same dark green color as his top, at the hem.

His idea to match, pointless when he chose to keep his distance from you throughout the party.

Slender fingers bring it up to your stomach, exposing your underwear to the cold air inside the house. Before he can do what you were close to begging for, he must have sensed your eagerness, because he punishes you with teeth digging deep into your shoulder blade.

You whimper, but he doesn't stop. Two hands now holding the end of your outfit up as his nose pushes the straps down your arms. He continues to nibble down your collarbone, then chest, hugging you impossibly closer so he can reach that far.

When he can't continue without breaking his neck, one finger pulls on the cleavage of your dress, uncovering your breasts. You want him to touch you, but you know better than to speak now.

Already struggling to breathe, you wait for his next move.

Johnny grinds against your ass one more time, and now you feel how hard he's gotten. It's delirious, and you bite your lip to avoid making any sounds that might be read as protests.

An exhale escapes your nostrils.

"This is not for you, it's for me." His voice is husky, teeth gritted and jaw clenched. It's imposing, accent coming through strong. "Don't think you'll be enjoying yourself tonight, sweetheart. Got it?"

You give him verbal confirmation again, his favorite name falling from your lips with ease.

The sensation is similar to falling, when Johnny's index and middle fingers trail down your stomach, taking his precious time to get to your underwear.

A genuine laugh rumbles through him. "Oh, hun, you're soaked already. It's a little pathetic, I have to say…"

Saliva goes down roughly, and your boyfriend kisses the strained veins jumping out in your neck. "There, there. Daddy will make it better."

Provocation is followed by the calloused digits rubbing over your slit, up and down, as he continues to coo.

Noticing your knuckles going white, Johnny humps you harshly again, making your elbows bend and you lose your footing. He takes advantage of that, forcing your legs to spread.

Right where he wants you, one of his hands slides down your back as he crouches to the floor, mouth sucking on the excessive skin in your thighs from behind. There's a joke about his knees you want to make, but refrain. The exhale breaks out again.

The second-long pause tells you enough, he heard it and you'll be punished.

With no hesitation, Johnny's teeth graze your skin until they reach your right ass cheek, digging into it. You yelp, cussing right after.

"Earned yourself another."

And he bites again, a mouthful this time. Simultaneously, the hand that wasn't currently holding your dress snakes up your leg and stops over your covered cunt. The tip of his middle finger circles your clit once, and you wobble.

"Be a good girl, and stay still."

"Please tell me when I'm allowed to talk."

You want to beg for more contact.

"I will, thank you for asking so politely." He's not giving it to you that easy. "For now, shut it."

So his finger goes back to circling the sensitive nub over the thin fabric, which is getting more and more wet. It will be ruined soon.

Another stupid chuckle bursts from Johnny, looking up at his work from the floor. "I can see you throbbing through your panties. Jesus, sweetheart, you're humiliating yourself."

Your skin is burning with shame, and need.

Merciful - if you could call it that - hands finally pull on the waistband of the underwear, relief hitting you from not being trapped and the fresh air alone.

Johnny stands up again, to your dismay, hands nowhere near your pulsing core. Instead, his left fingers wrap around your throat, carefully bringing you flush to him again and lifting your chin.

"Open up."

Three digits down your throat, he makes you suck on them, pushing until your eyes water and you gag.

"It's for your own good, princess."

The way he pulls on the back of your dress to lift it above your ass causes it to rip slightly, where…you just don't know.

He crouches again, mumbling about wanting to see your pretty pussy.

Any other man and you would've hated hearing those words together. But there's a reason why Knoxville knows he doesn't have to raise his tone in an argument. Whatever the fight is about, you'll always end up here. Leaking in his hands.

A gasp slips out when two fingers move from spreading your folds to arching inside of you. Johnny warns you about being quiet. "I can't."

"Well, you'll have to. Or I'll stop." It's a stern notice, but his fingers keep moving in and out calmly, with no signs of actually stopping.

It's audible how wet you are, clenching around your boyfriend's fingers every time they hit deeper, his thumb now joining the action by rapidly swiping over your clit.

Another gasp, and he actually removes himself.

"Fuck, if it's so bad, let's see if this works."

Big hands grab your hips and spin you around.

Before the dizziness can dissipate, Knox's fingers are pulling on your folds so his tongue can lap them up.

"Shit, and you want me to be quie-"

Your words die out at the simple order. "Behave." Command reverbarating inside of you.

Johnny's mouth is stuck on your clit, sucking lovingly, and you're not strong enough to resist a whimper.

"Please, love?"

One request.

"What is it?"

He'll let you talk, but he won't touch you while you do so.

"If I can't speak, can I at least pull your hair?"

In a glimpse of affection, your boyfriend delicately grabs your hand from the strong grip it had on the kitchen isle, planting a small kiss on the inside of your palm before placing it on the top of his head.

An innocent smile is shared between you before he goes back to eating you out, slowly inching closer.

Now, his fingers have gone back to stretching you, with no warning before sliding back inside. It's curiously satisfying to tug on the thin silver threads that drew your attention the first time you met - after having stalked him on Instagram for weeks.

While riding his digits, you think of how your relationship works. Johnny is much older, and more experienced in the industry. You know people - like his friend tonight - thought you were trying to sleep your way to the top and even approached you trying to steal his spot.

But none of them could do this. Your legs are shaking with just a few minutes of Johnny finger-and-tongue-fucking you, kneeling on the pristine floor of your shared home.

Not a single other sleazy man could get you to bite the moans down, probably wounding your own tongue, and follow his rules just for the reward of his touch.

"You're so slick. Are you close?" A head nod. "Speak."

"Baby, I'm so close, please."

It's almost caught in your throat.

"Don't move."

Johnny stands up, removing the jumper and the shirt underneath, exposing his torso to your appreciative eyes.

His fingers are making quick work of his belt buckle, when you remember you've been granted a voice.

"Fuck, you look too good to be true, PJ."

You meant to be sultry, but it comes out more as a whine.

Eyes tracing his happy trail, your vision almost blurs at veiny hands unzipping his pants, anticipation making you salivate.

"I know you like to watch, but you've been bad tonight. Turn." You're close to crying out again, quivering lips opening but quickly closing when an authoritative index is raised in front of your face. "Do as I say."

Blinking, you obey, diligently. "Yes, daddy."

With your back to him, you hear his pants drop, belt clinking to the floor.

Cold hands pull the dress over your head, returning to squeeze your breasts, fingertips playing with your nipples.

"You brought this onto yourself, don't forget." The shape of his hard cock presses against you, your bare stomach now flush to the marble surface. "Talking to nobodies who think of a beautiful girl like you as an object, you should know better. Imagine the kind of shit you'd get into if it weren't for me."

His hands are still roaming over your chest, when a spark of insubordination ignites inside.

"If you kept your eyes on me I wouldn't have to."

Before you can take another breath, Johnny's right hand slaps your ass, the sound echoing across the room.

Taking advantage of where his hands are, he spreads your legs and teases your entrance with the head of his swollen member, before inching inside.

Tears are pooling at your eyes, one rolling down your face when your boyfriend's hand slaps your right cheek again.

"If you need a break, tell me."

Your voice is strained. "Yes, daddy. Please, move."

Johnny adjusts you, squeezing your ass with one hand and holding you in place by your throat with the other.

He moves deeper inside, and you suck a sharp breath in. Another tear streaming down, salty liquid falling on your parted lips.

With the grasp on your neck, Knox glues you to him, pulling your head to rest on his shoulder and looking down at you.

Fingertips gently caress your jaw.

"I know you're trying to hurt me, but I can see on your face that you're projecting." His cock pulls out halfway just to push in again, warm and slick. Your legs give out, but he catches you. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, if I neglected you tonight. I really am. But it's no excuse to act out, and as much as it pains me, I have to teach you a lesson. Do you understand?"

You hum, eyes shut, tension building up inside.

"Verbal, honey."

The second you whisper 'yes', your boyfriend starts slamming into you.

With one arm across your stomach and the other across your chest, five fingers closed around your throat, Johnny spends the next couple of minutes thrusting up into you.

Your head is still laying on his shoulder, crook of his neck muffling your loud moans, locks falling out of the tight bun.

"Fuck, Johnny, I can feel you twitching." His dick is running along your walls, and you can feel everything. "Please."

He understands, fingers coming down to circle your clit and guide you to your orgasm.

Both of you move in synch, bodies swaying back and forth, yours more so reacting to the impact of Johnny's force pumping inside of you.

You shudder, hips rolling back into his thrusts as his grip tightens around you.

As soon as his head hits you cervix, release washes through and you're screaming his name.

"Fucking Christ, baby, I'm-"

"We're not done." Pressing you impossibly further, Johnny fucks any remaining air out of your lungs, continuing to push himself in and out of your wet folds. He's giving it to you so hard your knees are hitting the cabinet doors under the isle, purple bruises forming already. "Forgot this isn't for you?"

His thumb hasn't stopped rubbing your clit, hipbone pressing on your ass, your breasts painfully moving up and down. The area under your eyes is damp, nose running a bit.

Your head slumps forward, whole body being supported by trembling fingers white-knuckling the marble.

A second climax is coming, gritted teeth distorting your whimpers, feeling your muscles tighten all over again around Johnny's relentless cock.

His moan explodes through the otherwise silent room, hot load spilling down your legs and mixing with your second orgasm, which came right after.

"My gorgeous girl," Johnny's voice is still ragged, out of breath. "I can't believe how good you just took it."

You're still being made love to, semi hard member filling you up and then pulling out lazily, inch by inch.

Soreness is already bothering you.

A giggle escapes you at the disappointing, crushing feeling of your boyfriend's dick finally detaching from within you.

Both of you shiver at the lack of contact, Johnny letting out a chuckle of his own.

"Doesn't feel right to be apart, does it?"

Knox turns you around to face him, grabbing you by the chin to kiss your tears away.

Brushing hair behind your ears, he's smiling adoringly at you, agreeing.

"I am sorry, sweetheart, that I wasn't by your side tonight."

Cheek leaning into his palm, you smile back. "I'm sorry I acted immaturely. It was stupid. We're okay?"

"We're okay."

You're meekly standing naked in the kitchen, admiring Johnny's toned back as he collects your underwear and the dress he had picked, folding them nicely over his forearm.

"How about a bath? It's been a long night."

[georgiapeach30513]

You Were the One, Part 7

Summary: Court talks with Fitzroy.

Pairings: Six X Fitzroy

Rating: mild

Warnings: language, mentions of a miscarriage, mentions of a breakup, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.4K

Previous

Series Masterlist

Court walks past your office at the agency, letting out a little growl. Movers, were packing up your office, and you weren’t there to oversee it. An annoyed agent looks over at him, and rolls her eyes, continuing to direct the movers on how to pack up your precious honey pot.

“Annabelle, what’s going on?” she glares over at him, and he can’t tell if it was directed towards him or she’s annoyed that she’s overseeing this. “What the hell?”

“It’s obvious, the honey pot is moving.”

“Don’t,” he lowers his voice, but tries to correct it quickly, “Don’t call it that. You can’t just move it. Where are you taking it to?”

“Take it up with Fitzroy. I know nothing, but just a bit on computers, so I’m the one in charge. Twelve has taken a leave of absence for a bit.”

“Son of a bitch,” Court grunts, turning his feet to stomp towards Fitzroy’s office. Getting there quickly when he bursts through the door.

“Ah, I had figured you’d be visiting me. Go ahead, shout at me.”

Instead of saying anything, he slumps down in one of Fitzroy’s chairs. Looking around his office until, he’s looking right at his boss, who slides a pack of Bubblicious gum across the desk, “Gum’s not gonna help. She’s taking a leave of absence?”

“I told her to. She had a miscarriage, Court. Your baby. She was on a mission, and Lloyd got her to the hospital,” when Court starts to interrupt, Fitzroy throws his hand up, “If he didn’t take her, she would have been alone in a hotel room. He got her to safety, regardless of what your issues are with Hansen, he did her a fucking favor. Now, you speak.”

“I screwed up.”

“You think? Do you remember what I told you when you started to get involved? You thought it was just going to be sex, but she held out on you, didn’t she? What was it?”

“A few months.”

“Six months to be exact. The same woman you’ve got it in your pea brain that you assumed she was having an affair. Why she fucking stayed with you long enough to get engaged, I’ll never understand. But do you know why I told you not to get involved?”

“Why?” Court asks grabbing up the bubblegum to start chewing. “What was your issue?”

Fitzroy’s hand presses up against his face, and he wants to dig his eyes out. Court could be such a child sometimes. “Because you’re not emotionally available. For all these sweet moments you had, you’re only halfway there. She was giving you all of her, while you gave her a part of yourself. She didn’t even know your fucking past. When you asked if you should marry her, I told you that marriage usually means a family, so you needed to talk to her about what her vision was as a future. I told you to quit wasting that woman’s time, because you were already married to the job.”

“I get it. I’m a terrible. I don’t deserve her.”

“No, you don’t. That woman was in pain for days. Lloyd said she would randomly grab at her stomach. Through it all she asked him what she was going to tell you. Did you even care?”

Court looks out the window, nodding his head, and lets the first tear drift down his face, “I talked with Nat, and…I wanted it, the baby. I didn’t know what to say to her, and then she was giving me back the ring, and…”

“You can talk to Nat, but not her? Who are you marrying? This was the conversation you needed with her. Your fiancé. She needed you and you abandoned her, and ran to Natasha’s. And you talked about things with her? Which while we’re on the topic, you sure didn’t mind throwing her under the bus when your ego was bruised. Are you fucking kidding me? I’d left you, too. How do go back from that? You just kept digging that hole deeper. When she offered you the ring, you should have bowed out gracefully. You deserved this breakup. That woman was way to patient on you, waiting for you to open up long enough to get married. You wanna sit there blaming Lloyd for this, but you were the one that caused this.”

“You know, before she met him, I was fingering her in her office.”

“Oh, my god! I could write you up for that shit. She didn’t want your fucking fingers, she wanted your fucking heart. Do you get that? The minute Lloyd checked in, you checked out. It’s like you were waiting on a scapegoat to leave the relationship. Take ownership Court. She told you every step of the way what she wanted in the relationship. Did you even love her?”

“Yeah. I loved her so much, that I didn’t want her waste her time on me. I was never going to be able to be the man she wanted. She saw this perfect life with me and a family, and I just can’t, okay? I loved her enough to start pulling back. Look at me,” he pulls up his shirt, the gnarly scar on display, “I’m no good. She wants to get married and have kids, and what if I turn out like my old man. You made me a fucking nobody, so how could she be with me?”

“Don’t use that as an excuse. You could have taken another name.”

“You missed that first part. What if I screwed up my kid, the way I’m screwed up?”

“Tell that to Claire,” he leans over his desk, eyeing Court, and making him feel like a young child. “You protected my niece. She adores you. You would have been a good dad. You just need to learn to get out of your head. If this is the way you felt, you never should have got involved. That woman, loved you. You pushed her away.”

“And where is she now?”

“You know I can’t tell you that. She’s taking a few days off. Her phone is off, and you lack her skills. What else do you want to know?”

“Where’s her office moving to?”

“She requested to be away from you and Nat,” Court’s face flicks upwards and right at Fitzroy shaking his head. “It was the only place available. He is her partner.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Did she or Lloyd request this?”

“Why the hell should she have an office next to yours and Natasha’s when she’s not on your team? Do you understand how stupid you sound? Her office being next to his makes sense. You should thank him,” Court snorts up at his superior. “He was there for her when she had no one. She was alone and pregnant with a man who didn’t want kids.”

“I wanted that baby.”

“You want it now because you think it could save your relationship. It doesn’t work like that. If you really wanted kids with her, you should have told her. Not me. Not Nat, but her! Why don’t you understand that? You come up here for our screaming conversations, you go to Nat, go to Dani, and the one person that is begging for you to let her in, you left her when she needed you the most. The move of her office was necessary, and I’m not changing my mind. You go sulk and brood all you want, but this breakup is your fault. Saying she’s sleeping with Lloyd? Six months, six. She held out on you for six months, and you knew her well enough to think after the first meeting she was fucking Lloyd. Grow up and get out of my damn office.”

“I’m not going on another mission, until I talk to her.”

“She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“Then I’m benched. I’ll do desk work. I will talk to her. I owe her a lot.”

“You owe her the last three years back. You had the dream right in front of you, but you cut the damn line, and now you’re willing to drown to get it back?”

“Whatever it takes. I just want to talk to her. I owe her that. I owe her to listen to her.”

“Too little too late.”

“I wanted that life. I just don’t think I deserve it,” he whispers as he heads towards the door.

“Then let this go. She’s recovering from a miscarriage and your dumbass accused her of an affair. A baby she wanted because it was yours. Think about that. You killed your relationship right there. I don’t know how you go back from that.”

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @bookwormchick91 @whimsyplaty92 @bambamwolf87 @curlycarley @infatuatedjanes @8oopsiedaisy8 @spider-thot0115 @tryingtosurvivestuff @sstan-hoe @xcaptain-winterx @buckysteveloki-me @sgtjaamesbaarnes @writing-for-marvel @alwaysclassyeagle @mrsharringtonmunson @jlc3276 @elrw24 @kattreffic

[ramayah]

a bouquet for your troubles? | morpheus

GENRE. fluff

PAIRINGS. morpheus + m!reader

CW. none

NOTES. I LOVE MY BABY MORPHY SO MFIN MUCH, AHHHHHHHH!! morphy, if u see this, we should make out 💕❤️‍🔥

WC. & TAGS. 0.5k + @kameronrose [IK U BEEN WAITIN FO THIS ONE 💕]

CHAPTERS. II, III, III

Morpheus, unbeknownst to him, was falling deeply in love with one of the primordial gods. Ever since Gaia had fallen in a deep sleep for the past few centuries, another god of nature has arose to keep the grass green and flowers colorful.

[name], as the Greeks and Romans called him, loved to see the beautifully carved work that he created with his very hands, which is the reason why he walked amongst the mortals in the waking world.

“Are you in need of a bouquet, Lord Morpheus?” was the first sentence that came out of his mouth when his first interaction with the Lord of the Dreaming finally came in his vision. The Lord was.. sulking on the bench made from one of his eldest trees in the park where his bestest of godly friends hung out.

Morpheus looked up to see the figure who blocked the bright sun from his view, and there he was: the most beautiful god he was most fortunate to have ever seen in his days.

“God of Nature, it must be a fortunate day in order for an encounter between us to happen.”

The god sat next to Morpheus with nothing but a small smile on his face. “What brings you to the waking, as you call it, my Lord? Was the Dreaming too beautiful for your eyes? Or are the sights in the waking pretty?”

Morpheus intently listened to the god’s words. Like honey, his words seeped into his ears and stuck. Morpheus looked around to see the green grass, bushes around him were filled with forget-me-nots surrounded a few trees close to the two of them, it was a beautiful sight, truthfully. Words couldn’t explain the sights of purity before him.

“It is a beautiful sight, however, I didn't come the the waking for such sights. I've been busy with issues in the Dreaming.”

“And, just a guess, flowers won't fix it? You know, calla lillys would really suit you. They'd match your eyes perfectly.” The god said with a lighthearted smile as he created miniature constellations on the palm of his hand absentmindedly.

“.. Thank you,” Morpheus mumbled with a small smile and non-verbally asked for his name after he paused at the end of his sentence.

“[name].”

Of course, the god's name just had to coincidentally be the name of his most beloved flower.

“Thank you, [name].” The god's name felt like a fresh piece of jellyed-toast in the early morning when it rolled off of Morpheus’s tongue.

“Well, I must be going now, I only had a few minutes for a break before having to make new land across the horizon. I hope you do enjoy your day, Morpheus. A cup of tea would do nicely the next time we meet, yes? There's a new café down the road that I've been meaning to try, we should visit it some time.”

Morpheus was taken aback by the certain request, but before he could respond, the deity left him in his lonesome.

Maybe he should consider going. Maybe they'd have fun. And maybe, just maybe, they'd have a connection.

[gaysullengirl]

𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞, 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫. 𝐯𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫

❝ do you get deja vu, when she's with you? ❞

- deja vu, olivia rodrigo

Isabelle wore a wine red dress that was tight fitting on top and had a short flowy skirt- which concealed her gun easily.

She ordered some water's while Emily found a table, when she walked back she noticed Viper talking to Emily.

Isabelle walked to the table "Hi, Viper" Isabelle said flirtatiously, if Isabelle was an expert in anything it was playing men just like a violin.

"You promised if we met you on your turf, you'd show us something special." Emily smiled.

"Yeah, Viper, who gets pushed and who gets pulled tonight?" Isabelle asked and his eyes widened.

"Here let me show you." He spoke, attempting to re-gain his confidence, "You see, eye contact is a very powerful gauge."

"It's why you tend to look away from someone you're attracted to, because you know instinctively what a dead giveaway it is, but your brain goes there anyway, images, fantasies."

Isabelle laughed, "Don't flatter yourself."

"The eyes don't lie, they dilate, it's a chemical response, we can't control it."

After Isabelle's eyes didn't dilate whatsoever he moved to Emily, "Come on, do it, are you scared your eyes might dilate?" he teased.

"No, Paul, I'm baffled, I cannot figure out what the unsub could have learned from you." Emily said.

"What do you mean? He took my look, my words, everything that makes me successful to the opposite sex." He defended himself.

"Really? Because that guy can get beautiful women into his apartment." Emily provoked him even more.

"I wouldn't even let you on my facebook." Isabelle  deadpans. 

Emily Smiled, "Oh you have facebook? I'll follow you."

"Thanks-" Viper cut Isabelle off.

"Hey, hey, hey! I gave him-" "Shh" Isabelle cut him off. "Why'd you interrupt me? can you not stand the attention being on someone else for a second?"

"We've been watching all the women in the club and not one of them has looked at you, so who do you really go home with, Paul?" Isabelle asked in an innocent tone.

"Or- or do you go home alone?" Emily frowned, faking sadness.

"That was really good, ladies, that was really good, don't you think I know why you're here?" he asked.

"One of my students copies my moves, and you're here to get inside my mind, don't you see? I confronted my queen bee a long time ago." He raised his voice.

"What's a queen bee?" Isabelle furrowed her brows.

"You are." He exclaimed, pointing a finger at her.

"Every student who's ever taken my class has had one in his life, and the first exercise my students have to complete is to confront their queen bee."

"It could be the girl who cheated on you, the prom date who stood you up, you find them and you squash them." Emily and Isabelle shared a look before they walked toward the club's exit.

Isabelle saw Spencer talking to a bartender, she noticed him point to the women's ear and she grabbed a piece of paper from her hair.

Isabelle was pissed to say the least, not only was he flirting on the job but he was also using the same tactic he had used with her.

"Hey Em, I have to go to the bathroom really quick." she walked into the bathroom urgently.

Isabelle silently begged herself not to cry, she knew everyone would assume she's weak if she started crying. 

Isabelle took a few deep breaths and left the bathroom, her and Emily exit the club to find Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, and Reid waiting for them.

Isabelle brushed passed Spencer, purposefully knocking her shoulder against his.

"What was that for?"

"You're fine, if it really hurts maybe you should go get your girlfriend to comfort you" Isabelle spit angrily and kept walking.

"Girlfriend?"

"Really Spencer? flirting on a case?" Isabelle turned to face him.

"You were too" he argued, Isabelle scoffed "Because that's what I was assigned to do."

"No, I could tell you actually like him, you we're actually flirting." He elaborated.

Isabelle just stared at him, 'is he being for real?' was all she could thin, "Spencer that was fake flirting."

"Really? cause it seemed real." He admitted, sounding hurt.

"God! you're such a hypocrite, are you hearing yourself? You're upset because I was 'flirting' with viper while you're giving a random bartender your number? with the same tactic you used on me might I add. Come on Spencer you have an eidetic memory and you're seriously forgetting how we met?" She shouted.

Spencer's eyes started to water, "No, but i'm still a little blurry on how we broke up,  you said you wanted to break up then the next day you're gone, I mean did I even mean anything to you?"

Isabelle didn't want to have this conversation with him—ever, but especially not in front of her new coworkers, so she turned around and started walking toward the suv.  

"Go fuck your self, Isa!" He shouted.

If anyone dared to speak to Isabelle the way Spencer was she would turn around punch them, shoot them, then bury them six feet under and never be caught, but since it was Spencer she didn't.

Isabelle just quietly got in the suv.

authors note!

thank you sm for reading!! <33

[christopher-bangnaldoskzz]

Could you maybe write about y/n and jeongin showering together after a long, tiring day but SMUT…..

Loved your last fanfic about Jeongin.

Hi, my love. I’m sorry this is sooooooo late. I’ve been procrastinating, lol I honestly have no idea what to write Jeogin is always so hard to write for because he’s like sooo young for me bahahahahah. I know he’s a grown man, but he’s just a baby to me, lol. 

Jeongin x FEMALE Reader 

Word count: 1k

Genre: SMUTTTT 

Summary: When you come home from work to the most amazing husband

Warnings: But stuff lol, unprotected sex, fingering, eat out of course sex is a little rough not sure what you think rough sex is lol. if you are not 18+ then JOG ON

Taglist: @9900z @daceydeath (Please let me know if you would like to be added or taken off my tag Lists)

“Hi, Honey,” you say as you close the door behind you. Jeongin comes out from the kitchen, kissing your cheek as he swings the tea towel over his shoulder. 

“How was work, my love” he smiled as he started to walk back to the kitchen to finish prepping for dinner. 

“Omg….you don’t even want to know…it was the most infuriating day I’ve had yet,” you say, running your fingers through your hair. Jeongin immediately stops what he is doing, “should I start a bath then,” he said, throwing the tea towel onto the bench.

“Only if you join me” you walk with him to the bathroom, where he turns on the bath water. 

“I’ll be back in. Just going to turn off the oven… how knows how long we will be” you weren’t sure what he had planned for you; however, it got you all gitty on the inside. 

You start to undress when Jeongin walks back in “oh good. I was scared I would miss the best part” he walks over and cups your face kissing your smashed lips. 

“Sorry, I just really wanted to do that”, he was the sweetest. You had never felt so loved. He got undressed and hopped in the nice soapy bath “okay honey. This should be the perfect temperature” you liked your baths steamy. 

You hop in between his legs with your back facing him, and you lean back so your head is on his shoulders. “This is so nice….thank you, Jeongin” you smile up at him as he wraps his arms around your naked stomach. 

“You mean everything to me,” he says as he leans down and kisses you intimately. He starts to draw on your stomach as the kiss heats up. You slowly pull your hand up out of the warm water to adjust his jaw so you can deepen the kiss. 

His hand travels down your stomach to just above your pelvic bone. He pulls back “let me take care of you, pleases” you nod your head as you pull him back down for a kiss. His fingers were massaging your clit. You moaned into his mouth, “I love you” now, Jeongin doesn’t say those words to you very often, so when he does, you know I’m that moment means a lot to him. 

“I love you too,” you say, kissing him as he continues to massage your clit, applying just enough pressure. 

“Mmmm, right there, baby,” you say between kisses. You reach below and start to jerk him off. 

“This was supposed to be about you”, he giggled as he pulled away. 

“Well, I’ve decided we both need distressing,” you say, hopping up and out of the bath. You take Jeongins hand. You pull Jeongin towards the bed. 

“Wait, we are still wet” he was such a worry wart sometimes. 

“How cares? Did you want to fuck or not?” You say, pushing him onto the bed. Jeongin says nothing as you climb on top of him. You spread your vagina lips on his shaft, grinding your body up and down. 

“You’re 100% right. Who cares” you know he only agreed with you because of the pleasure he was experiencing. 

“Do you want me to fuck your brains out, baby” you whisper into his ear. 

“Yesss…please”, he moaned. You run your hands up his body to his neck. While you slide his penis inside you, you lightly choke him “you like that, huh?” He nods as you release. 

“I love it when you choke me”, he moans. You grab his neck one more time as you leave to kiss him, bobbing up and down on his cock. You release one more time Jeongin gasps for air. “Please, Y/N…I want to come on your tits,” he moans. 

You hop off his cock “you can do me from behind if you like,” you smile while crawling into doggie style. Jeongin grins and slaps your ass shoving his face into your exposed wet pussy. 

He licks upwards towards your asshole, rimming around it while continuing to massage your clit. 

“Oh baby….that feels so good”, you moan as Jeongin inserts if feel thumb into your core. 

He aggressively rubbed your clit, all while still licking your asshole. “Gin, I'm gonna cum”, you whine as you let go cum now dripping from your pussy. 

He slams his dick inside you. “UHHHHH”, you cry.

“You feel so good around my cock, baby,” he says, leaning over and kissing behind your ear. 

You continue to moan as he pumps in and out of you. “I’m getting close, baby,” he says, pulling out quickly. You roll over just as he aims for your breast and sprays his cum all over them. 

“You did so well, Gin,” you say, sitting up and kissing him. 

“We should have a shower,” he says as he picks you back up and walks you back into the bathroom, sitting you down on the bench while he turns the shower on. He walks back over and places his hand on either side of your thighs, leaning in and kissing your lips. 

“Sorry if I was rough,” he said, pulling back. 

“It’s okay. I like it rough, remember” you smile as he leans in for another kiss. 

“Let’s get you all cleaned up” he says carrying you to the shower. 

[natsury-kazuki]

Valentine’s Gift Messages 2022

Here is the message of the 2022 Valentine's Day cards.

Last update : 28/08 I’m soooo sorry I’ve so much work, but now it’s complete ! Enjoy

08/06 Haaaaa I found Carter, Azul and Kalim but half cut 😭😭😭

-

HEARTSLABYUL

 

My dear friend─

Your gift is warmly received.

That you should spare such thought for the Heartslabyul housewarden despite our differing affiliations is surprising.

Come to my dorm lounge after school tomorrow for a spot of tea.

I'll look over your homework while we're there.

Riddle Rosehearts

-

Hello friend ─

I admit, I'm not used to surprises like this one. I'm a little taken aback, but grateful regardless.

I just wish I had something thoughtful to offer in return...

Actually, I know! I'll meet you in your classroom once lessons are finished for the day.

That way, I can learn what sort of thing you like.

Trey Clover

-

Eyyy, friend!

How’s it going?

Thanks fo the present.

This is a Cay-Cay-certified banger!

Haave you been chekin’out my feed or something? Haha.

We gotta make another vid for Magicam sometime ; )

Cater Diamond

-

My good friend─

First, thank you SO MUCH.

Make me wonder what I’ve done to deserve a present like this from you!

I really appreciate it, though!

We should go blastcycle riding on one of our free days sometime soon.

See you in class.

Deuce Spade

-

Heya, pal─

I was floored when I got a gift from you outta nowhere!

And even MORE floored when I saw you'd picked out something I really like. Thanks!

If I can get my hands on a deluxe ham and cheese sandwich today, it's all yours.

Least I can do, right?

Ace Trappola

-

SAVANACLAW

Hey─

I'm no stranger to lavish gifts, but getting one from you was unexpected enough to pique my interest.

So here you go, a proper message of gratitude:

Thank you for your considerate gift.

Leona Kingscholar

 -

Welp─

I woke up from a snooze to find a package sitting in my room,so I helped myself to what was inside.

Thanks a ton!

Shyeeheehee.Getting something this nice for free is a seriously lucky break!

And don't worry, I won't pawn it or nothin'.I’ll take reeeal good care of it.

Ruggie Bucchi

-

Hi.

Getting a present delivered out of nowhere scared the daylights out of me.

Thanks, really.

But couldn’t you have just given it to me in person during class tomorrow?

If there’s anything you want in return, let me know. I always repay my debts.

Jack Howl

-

OCTANIVELLE

My boon, companion─

What a lovely gift this is. Thank you kindly.

If you’re ever in need of anything, don’t be afraid to reach out.

And just to be clear, that’s not in return for the gift─ after all, I’ve accepted this as a token of your sentiment.

That said, I’m willing to take it somewhat into account with any future bargains we might make.

Azul Ashengrotto

-

My good friend─

I am humbled─and date I say it, awestruck─to receive such a thoughtful and delightful gift.

Thank you.

Now I know how land-dwelling schoolmates express their mutual appreciation.

This experience has been well and truly fascinating.

Jade Leech

-

Dear little shrimpy─

Is it a thing for land-dwellers to just randomly gift each other stuff? I don't see the point myself, but hey, thanks!

I'll give you a surprise of my own one of these days.

If the mood strikes, I mean. Just you wait!

Floyd Leech

-

SCARABIA

To my dear friend─

Thank for the gift! It’s flattering to know you picked this out just for me!

I’ll treat you to anything you like in return─ food, live entertainment, an item you’ve been pining after… You just say the word.

…On second thought, no. I’ll come up with something myself!

Just like you came up with this gift to give me.

Kalim Al-Asim

-

Hello

I'll admit it. I'm beyong surprised.

I suppose a heartfelt "thank you" is in order.

In fact, why don't we meet at the school store after class tomorrow?

Hopefully I'll be able to find you something to return the favor.

Jamil Viper

-

POMEFIORE

Dearest friend─

Your gift was lovely. Thank you.

This cll for fitting recompense.

Hence, I’ll be handpicking a personal fragrance for you.

May you sleep well tonight dreaming of the possibilities.

Vil Schoenheit

-

Bonjour─

My, what a thoughtful gesture! I am a hard person to surprise, but you have done so all the same.

How long it been since I felt the urge to spring into dance on the spot?

Merci beaucoup !

Rook Hunt

-

Dear classmate─

Than you for the amazing present!

It seriously caught me off guard in the best way.

Just you wait─ I’ll get you an even cooler gift in return.

See you in class!

Epel Felmier

-

IGHIHYDE

@YOU

what

who in their right mind would send a present to me

wait,isn’t this … did u check my wishlist for this?

uhhhh nvm,nbd

thx 4 gift ig

Idia Shroud

-

Hello, Perfect─

Thank you for picking out a gift for me.

It’s exactly what I wanted!

How did you predict my thought data so accurately?

You should share your logic with me sometime.

Maybe then I can whip up whatever it is that YOU want!

Ortho Shroud

-

DIASOMNIA

To my good friend─

A gift? For me, of all people?

Tour taste are…distinctive, I must say.

Worry not, thought─I enjoyed it, of course.

What should you like in return, I wonder? I shall take great pleasure in speculating the answer to that question.

Malleus Draconia

-

Greeting!

Thank you for the most excellent gift!

You know, I am told that in some cultures, giving someone a gift is a sign of friendship.

I hope you’re ready for me to give something special in return.

In fact, I suggest you clear a good square meter or so of space in your dorm!

Lilia Vanrouge

-

Salutations

You picked out a gift specially for me?

The sentiment is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I've selected something for you in return.

Come to my classroom after school tomorrow.

And feel free to wake me if I've nodded off.

Silver

-

Human─

Heh. You thought a gift would be enough to worm your way into my confidence?

Well, I can hardly fault your ambition.

Isuppose in return, I could regale you with a few tales of Master Malleus’s martial might!

You have part I thought XI to choose from.

Sebeck Zigvolt

-

NRC STAFF

Dear esteemed student─

Thank you for the delectable gift. I finished it all in one sitting as soon as I opened the package!

What? You say it wasn’t food?

…I was joking, of course.

I’m ever so grateful for the job you do every day as perfect.

Do keep up the good work.

Dire Crowley

-

Dear juvenile─

First, I should thank you for the gift.

However, if you want to ensure your teachers view you charitably and grade your test favorably, I’d advise being a good student and showing up to class punctually rather than giving gifts.

But perhaps a thank-you note isn’t the place for a lecture.

The sentiment is appreciated, at the very least.

Mozus Trein

-

Dear pup-

Thank you for the present.

However, this is highly inappropriate, and I wouldn't hold my breath for a return gift if I were you.

All I have to offer you is discipline.

That said, I wouldn't be averse to joining you for a (single) cup of tea sometime.

Do restrain yourself from howling for joy.

Divus Crewel

-

Dear student─

Wow! A gift for me?

I guess I was just born popular…though I don’t normally get gifts from students.

Tell you what─I’ll let you in on the secret behind my incredible bod.

You ready? Here’s the trick: eat four dozen raw eggs a day!

Ashton Vargas

-

Heay, my little imp!

What’s up? Usually, I’m the one doing the giving, not the other way around!

Thanks for the nice surprise.

How about I guess what you’d like?

Bet it’s something already in stock.

Feel free to drop by Mr.S’s Mystery Shop anytime!

Sam

-

OTHER

Dear minion─

I found a package next to my pillow when I woke up this morning.

Figured it was one of the ghosts pullin’ a prank, but nope. It was a present from you!

You picked this out just for me, huh?

That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy! I mean, more than usual, on account of all the fur.

Feel free to do this kind thing every day, sidekikck!

Grim

[rowanaelinn]

Wires - Seven

Masterlist

Warnings: NSFW | Word Count: 5,500

“What’s up with you?” Lorcan asked, his eyebrows frowned. Rowan hadn’t heard him come in; he’d been too busy on the phone. Too busy feeling emotions he wasn’t too sure to understand. Well, no. He didn’t understand them at all, but he would pretend if only for the sake of thinking he was in control.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, pocketing his phone.

He’d been about to ask her how she was, for fuck’s sake. What was wrong with him? He didn’t care for her, not anymore. He should have ignored her text, shouldn’t have been… worried at her lack of answer. He shouldn’t have called her.

But if it was honest, he had made mistakes far before today. He shouldn’t have kissed her that night, shouldn’t have let desire take over and engage in yet another messy act with her.

Every time they had been together it had been so, so messy. Never with the right labels. First as friends, and now as what, enemies? It didn’t seem like the right word to describe them, but no other word came to his mind.

There shouldn’t be a word that described them, he told himself. He should just ignore her, just the way she had asked him to. But… He didn’t think he could. He would try, if only for the sake of his sponsors and team. But when she was everywhere, it was a hard thing to do.

“Lyria’s been looking for you,” his friend told him with a pointed look.

Lyria, right. He’d come with her to this stupid party. He didn’t particularly enjoy the way Lorcan was looking at him now, but he perfectly ignored it. At least, until he asked, “Who was it on the phone?”

“My dad,” the lie rolled off his tongue too easily.

“You’re a shit liar.”

Alright, Rowan took great offense to that. He was an amazing liar. When he told just that to his friend, he only rolled his eyes. Outch, alright.

Lorcan slid his hands in his pockets, eyes slightly narrowing as he let his back rest against the wall. “How’s Aelin?”

His back stiffened, and his voice was cold as he said, “How could I know?”

“Well, true. You did chicken out before you could ask her how she was.”

Fuck, how long had Lorcan been listening. “What do you want?”

“For you to pick. You either hate her or you like her, but you don’t get to pick and choose.”

“You have no idea what you are talking about.”

He hated her. He really did. It just manifested in ways he didn’t quite understand, that was it. Lorcan rolled his eyes. “Why did you care enough to tell Ashryver, then?”

Rowan hadn’t told anyone what happened, but every driver that were there that night knew what had happened after his conversation with Aelin’s cousin. Aelin had cornered her; told her they were leaving. But unhappily, she refused. He wasn’t too sure of what had been told between the two, but she had started screaming and so had he. And of course, Rowan’s name had come up.

His jaw clenched, “Because whatever her family and she did, nobody deserves so die alone of a drug addiction.”

“You’ve taken drugs a few times,” Lorcan reminded him. “And it never turned into an addiction. Why did you think it was different for her?”

He was full on glaring now, and he couldn’t find it in himself to care. “I didn’t know, alright? It’s in the past, now.”

“Is what happened in the bathroom in the past, too?”

His heart stilled. “What the hell do you mean?”

He shrugged, taking an innocent look that looked wrong on his face. “I’m just asking, I didn’t recognize the lipstick stains on your neck as Lyria’s colors.”

“Why don’t you leave me alone?”

“Because you are my best friend, and she is fucking you up. Even back in the days she did, calling you her friend and treating you another way, but it’s worse now.”

“We were just friend.” Rowan growled. That was true, and she had been his deepest friend. The betrayal had stung harder for that.

Lorcan rolled his eyes, “Come on. I don’t fuck or do I kiss my friends. That’s something only the two of you did.”

“Plenty of people have friends with benefits.”

That felt wrong to use that term for the relationship he had had with Aelin, that had been so much more than just two horny friends helping each other.

“Even when they already are in a relationship?” He asked, probably feeling smart. Rowan had no wish to even think about it, about that night.

---

Sometimes, Rowan was scared by Aelin. Today was one of these days. She had knocked loudly on his door in the middle of the night, knowing his parents were away on a trip. No salutation, nothing. No, her words of greeting had been, “Pack a bag, we’re going skiing.”

And indeed, she had taken him to her family’s jet, where somehow all his friends had been as well, and brought them to her favorite skiing station in Austria. He supposed they were her friends, too, now. He had introduced these two parts of his life after a karting competition years ago and they had collided perfectly. The ballerina had fit well with the five drivers.

Yet sometimes, he couldn’t help the jealousy from creeping in his veins. One of the prime examples of those incidents happened on the jet, when she had been sitting next to Rowan. They weren’t doing anything, not even talking, but Fenrys had turned on the music and grabbed her hand, making her dance with him.

Rowan’s jaw had clenched at that moment. They were friends, of course. Nothing more, no matter what Lorcan thought. But Aelin was his friend first. His best friend, and he was hers. Sometimes, until he heard her laugh with everyone, he regretted introducing them. He would have loved to keep her to himself only.

He was eighteen now, for Mala’s sake, he shouldn’t feel jealousy because of a goddamn friendship. He would start his first season in Formula One next season, his life was perfect. Except when his best friend had other close friends. He was pathetic.

It was peak Aelin to make everyone go on an unprepared and last-minute trip, she was always full of energy and resourcefulness, always up to something new and she never missed to surprise him.

She had lust for life, her eyes shone every time she did something new and exciting. She was Aelin.

She was also the only one who could keep up with him on skis, so they ended up spending almost the entire day alone as they had lost behind the rest of the group.

She made it feel like he was racing, as if he was behind his beloved wheel and could finally do what he loved. The energy she radiated could compare to the way racing made him feel.

He was glad that he and Aelin could still be friends, that she could still bite on his shoulder when he made fun of her while they waited for a chairlift, even after the way their fathers had had a fallout.

They’d gotten close as Aelin and Rowan also became friends, before that they had always been pitted as rivals by everyone. But, these past few months Rowan had noticed the lack of trips to Spain to visit Rhoe Galathynius or the lack of trips they took together. He noticed the tension, as well.

The media still hadn’t caught up on that, he knew. The change had started around the end of last season, and both racers were pros at avoiding paparazzi and the long break between seasons. No one had noticed, but Aelin and him had.

He knew it had something to do with Aelin’s godfather, that Rowan’s father disapproved. But Rowan had met the guy so many times, and he seemed fine. He didn’t want to think about it. It was his father’s business, and even if Rowan would start to race with them next season, he didn’t want to know.

Even as night rolled in, and the fire creaked in Aelin’s cabin chimney, she stayed by his side. He had an arm wrapped around her shoulder as they shared a warm plaid. She was tucked into his side, laughing at the twin’s antics. The two were already drunk, and from the color on Lorcan and Vaughan’s cheeks, they were well on their way to join the twins.

Aelin had drunk a little, but she was far away from being under the influence. Usually, Rowan would have been as smashed as his friends but not tonight, not when Aelin was there.

She sometimes drank, as they all did, but not during her representation season. She did during the holidays, but she always did her best to keep the worst of her wildness away when she had to be on stage.

Her first representation was in a week, and Rowan had already booked the best tickets the theater offered. She had no idea he would be there; she was under the impression that he had a race training he couldn’t get away from next weekend, but he wouldn’t miss her show for anything.

“We need to play never have I ever,” Fenrys stated, voice slightly shaking.

Rowan’s eyebrows rose playfully, “Do we?”

The blonde nodded vividly, “Of course!”

Aelin pressed her lips together and shook her head, holding her smile in. “I don’t think it’s the best idea.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re already drunk,” she laughed.

He rolled his eyes, “Killjoy, I thought you were funnier than that.”

His twin barked a laugh. “True, your boyfriend is the real killjoy. Wait—Where is he? Why isn’t he with us today?”

Rowan tried really hard not to let his body stiffen, if only because Aelin would feel it. Her boyfriend. Rowan hated the guy, and it wasn’t because he was jealous or some shit, Aelin just deserved better than him.

He was… boring in comparison to his best friend. Though Rowan supposed that everyone paled compared to Aelin.

He could see Aelin roll her eyes, “I don’t need to do everything with him, I’m already all the time at school with him. I can have time with only my friends, you know.”

Lorcan mumbled something in his drink, but Aelin didn’t hear, and Rowan only glared. He didn’t know what his friend had said, but he didn’t really love Aelin, so Rowan supposed it couldn’t be good.

After a while, Aelin yawned and decided to go to bed. Shamelessly, Rowan followed after her. He flipped off his friends as they snickered, and he let Aelin snatch the plaid as she entered their room.

It wasn’t unusual for them to share rooms, he supposed that was the kind of intimacy best friends who had known each other for almost forever could share. Plus, it wasn’t like he had a choice. Her family’s cabin was very homey and smaller than most of her properties, as it only had three bedrooms. When it was the six of them there, they all shared.

Aelin fell onto the bed face first, and Rowan chuckled as he pushed her so she laid on her side and faced him as he lifted the blanket so they could both slid beneath it. She snuggled a little closer to him, but not enough for their bodies to touch. Just enough to feel her warmth.

“You could have stayed downstairs,” she told him. “Have fun and all.”

“I’m having plenty of fun already.”

She snorted, shaking her head. Then, her voice sent tingles through his spine as she whispered, “Liar.”

“Never to you.”

“Is that a promise?” She asked, eyes shining with curiosity.

He smiled kindly, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, “It is.”

“You’re the best.”

Something bloomed in his chest at those words, but he locked it away. Her eyebrows frowned, and Rowan wondered what she was thinking about. His thumb softly caressed between her eyebrows, wipping away any worry she could show. “What is it?”

“You would judge me.”

He had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes, “I have seen you vomit on yourself and then cry about it for an hour straight. I didn’t judge you then, I probably won’t today either.”

She kicked him in the leg and he chuckled, waiting for her to speak.

She sighed and said, “I’m a liar.”

“What did you lie about?”

“Chaol,” she started, and Rowan’s jaw clenched at the mention of her boyfriend. “Kinda wants to do more than kissing. And I’m not opposed to it, but I lied to him months ago. Told him I wasn’t a virgin anymore when… I am.”

Rowan didn’t even let himself think about it. They were best friends, yet they had seemed to avoid that subject forever. Maybe because they kissed, at least they used to until she started dating Chaol. Until her training paid off. He didn’t know why, only knew it had happened. “Why did you lie?”

She shrugged, “I like to be confident; you know. And Experienced, too. But I’m not in that area, and even if I try to fake it, I can’t make it. I didn’t want to look… vulnerable or something. So, I said I already had sex.”

He didn’t judge her, but for one of the first time in their friendship: he wasn’t sure what to say. He shifted on the mattress, “Just tell him that, I’m sure he’d understand.”

She snorted, “But I don’t want him to know, Ro.”

“Well, I’m not sure if you’ve studied that at your prestigious dance school, but he’s going to notice when it happens.”

She rolled her eyes but he could almost think she was hiding her face in the pillow as she said, “But I don’t want him to be my first.”

Alright, she started to sound confusing. “What does that mean? You’ll break up?”

“No!” she quickly answered. “No, Chaol’s… good. He’s nice and he’s my dance partner. I like him, but I don’t think I have that much trust in him for my first time, you know?”

“Oh.” Aelin’s trust issues weren’t stranger to him, not after she ended up on the front page of too many magazines because her so called friends or the boys who were interested in her kept leaking things about her. Usually, driver’s families weren’t under the spotlight so much, people cared for the driver’s performances, not for what their kids were doing. But Aelin had always attracted the attention of everyone, and he supposed the media wasn’t an exception.

As far as he knew, Chaol hadn’t leaked anything yet, but he imagined how scared she must be that informations on her sex life might be leaked. He’d kill Chaol if it ever happened, or any man it would happen with.

“How was yours?” She asked.

“My what?”

She groaned something, probably calling him stupid before asking, “How did your first time happen? Was it… good?”

He was grateful for the dark of the room, at least Aelin couldn’t see his flushed cheeks and make fun of him. He choked on nothing, unsure on how to answer that.

He couldn’t see it, but he knew her rolled her eyes. “You’re such a prude, come on. Answer me.”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know? Like, you don’t know if it was good?”

“I don’t know if it didn’t happen, okay?” He answered, maybe a little sharper than he intended to.

A second after, Aelin’s bedside table’s light switched on, and she was on her elbow looking at him with that adorable frown on her face. “Now you’re making fun of me.”

His eyes widened, “I’m not!”

“That’s mean, Ro, I thought I could trust you but now you’re just one of those stupid tee—”

“Aelin,” he snapped to stop her in her rant. “I’m not joking.”

Her lips parted, and the frown came back. “What, so you’re a… How?”

“What do you mean, how?”

She looked at him so deep that he felt shivers run down his spine, “You’re you, I can’t believe that you’ve never…”

“Not as unbelievable as you still being a virgin.”

Her cheeks flushed at his words, and she looked away for a second. “I’m stuck at school almost all the time. You are doing Grand Prix half of the years, touring the world…”

“F3 Grand Prix,” he corrected her. At least until now. In a few weeks, Rowan would upgrade to the best position he could ever dream of.

She rolled her eyes, “Still Grand Prixs.”

“Well,” he said, wishing to cut short this conversation. “That just never happened, alright? No big deal.”

She fell back onto her back, looking at the ceiling instead of at him. “You ruined my plan, thank you.”

It was his turn to frown, “What plan?”

She shook her head, refusing to open her mouth. He sighed and brought his hand to her side, sliding under her pajama shirt and started tickling her. She jerked away from his touch, but he didn’t let go, not until she was crying and begging him to stop.

Hesitantly, he kept his hand on her stomach as she panted, trying to regulate her breathing. He was smiling down at her and wished he could see her more often.

“Come on, tell me.”

She shook her head, and he sighed, “Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing.”

“Then switch the light off,” he said, “and I won’t judge.”

She seemed to think about it for a second before doing what he said. When the room was pitched in black once more, she flushed her body to his side, wrapping her arms around his body. His limb froze, a thousand question passing through his mind as she let her head rest above his shoulder, her lips close to his ear. “Promise you won’t react badly?”

He didn’t hold in his eye rolling, even as his breathing quickened at her proximity. Goddamn it, it was Aelin. He couldn’t react that way. “When have I ever?”

Her body tensed beside his, and she leaned in. That way, her lips brushed his head, her hot breath hitting his skin and breaking goosebumps all over his body. Hesitantly, with a voice he had never heard from her, she whispered so softly he barely heard, “I wanted you to teach me.”

She couldn’t not have felt his body stiffen. His mind stopped as he tried to find another meaning to her words. Surely, she didn’t mean… But his body and mind seemed to think so, and heat pooled in his core.

“Aelin—” He whispered, only finding out then that he was breathless as well.

“I know,” she said, a little away from his ear this time. “I’m sorry, this is a stupid idea.”

“No—I mean, yes, but no.” He looked at her side, even if he couldn’t see anything. “You have a boyfriend.”

He couldn’t realize that was the argument he was going for when there were thousands of more important factors. The first one being their friendship, but somehow that wasn’t the first thing that came to his head.

“I know, I know,” she rushed to say. “I’m taking that back, alright? Can we pretend that I didn’t…”

She pulled away from him, turning her back on him. Without thinking his hand shot for her, closing around her wrist and he might have used too much strength to pull her back to him. She ended up on top of him, her body lying on his, comforting with her warmth and scent.

Her hands were on his shoulder, while he made a pretty good job at keeping his own hands high on her waist. “Don’t turn your back on me. Never do that, please.”

“I’m sorry,” she breathed. They were so close he could see her face, see her eyes though he wished the sun was shining so he would admire them the way they deserved.

“Aelin,” he breathed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “This is not something friends do.”

She nodded, “I know, but we have always been different, haven’t we?”

He swallowed, wondering if she was referencing to the world they were born in or that thing that everyone around them questioned, that nobody but them believed to be friendship. “I don’t want you to regret it, to waste it away on me.”

“Rowan,” she breathed his name, her accent more pronounced when she pronounced the first syllable of his name. “I trust you, only you. You’re the only one I’ve ever trust fully. It’s you, you shouldn’t waste yours on another of my reque—”

His lips crashed over hers, his hand cupped the back of her head as he slipped his tongue inside of her mouth. After months, he was finally finding back the taste of her mouth.

He rolled them over, laying between her parted legs. He didn’t allow himself to think of those legs, at how they weren’t covered as she only wore pajama shorts, at the miles of tanned, perfect skin that was so close to his reach now. “I’d never regret anything with you,” he breathed into her mouth, covering her lips with kisses as soon as he was done.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, pushing him closer to her. Was she trying to kill him? She had to be, and it worked. “Wait,” she breathed, pushing on his shoulder but her legs were still wrapped tight around his waist. “Ro, can we talk this through?”

He was panting but nodded and tried to move to the side, if only to give himself some clarence of mind, but she didn’t let him.

“I need to know you’re not doing this only because I asked,” she said, voice no higher than a whisper. “That I’m not asking too much of you.”

“Are you asking if I want you?”

She nodded, her features still mostly hidden by the dark. “More like… If you’ve ever wanted me before? If it’s not a one time thing, just because you’re too kind to say no.”

“Do you really think I would just say yes?”

“I don’t know,” she breathed, and he could feel her self-confidence flatter. It wasn’t only a question of trust, she needed someone to desire her. Desire the woman she was, and not what she represented. She believed him to the one who could do that, that maybe there was a chance Chaol couldn’t…

He leaned in, whispering against her lips, “I’ve dreamed of you. More times than I can count.” It was the truth, just not one he had thought he would ever voice. “I’ve thought of you more times than I can count. I’ve…” He took a deep breath. “I have done things while I thought of you.”

Her legs tightened around his hips, flushing their bodies together. His eyes fluttered as he held in his groan. She asked in a whisper, “What did you do?”

He swallowed difficultly, “I touched myself, many times, with only you in my mind.”

He felt her nod, “I-I did, too.”

Rowan’s entire body shuddered at that, and he could barely hold himself back from kissing her senseless. His entire mind was plagued with images of her, in her bed with her body covered in those goddamn nightgowns… “Can we turn on the light?” He asked. “I want to see you, Lin.”

He felt more than saw her hand go toward the bedside table, then the light almost blinded him. He didn’t care, though. Not as he could admire Aelin, hair messy under her head and her lips red from his kisses. She was the one to make the first move, to slide a hand in his hair and raise her head to capture his lips in a kiss.

His answer was immediate, keeping her chin up with a thumb under her jaw, the rest of his hand cupping the back of her neck. Aelin, in true Aelin fashion, started rolling her hips under his, causing friction for both of them. He groaned, unable to keep it in this time.

He hated it, but he had to quicken things up if he wanted to last. And he did, if only to give Aelin the first experience she deserved. She pulled away from her mouth and looked down at her shirt, his fingers playing with the hem. “Can I take it off?”

She nodded vividly, “Please, and don’t ask. You don’t have to.”

He swallowed and delicately, lifted the fabric up. She helped him to take it off, and he threw it on the floor. His eyes widened; her breasts were bare. Not covered with the lingerie he knew she loved but sometimes had to take off for comfort.

They were perfect, as the rest of her was. They were full, and their end was peaked and rosy. His mouth watered at the sight of them, and he only had to look into her eyes for her to understand the unspoken question. She placed her hand on the back of his head and pushed his head down softly, encouraging him to touch her.

And as his tongue slowly started to circle her nipple, there was nothing else that existed in this world. Nothing else than the small whimper of pleasure that escaped her lips, nothing else than the way she arced her back to get more.

And Rowan found himself to be a very attentive lover. He listened to her, careful to what made her react the most. He wrapped his lips around her nipple, sucking the small bud into his mouth. Aelin pulled on his hair, a moan coming out of her mouth.

“Rowan, Dios Mio…” The Spanish slipping from her mouth only encourage him as he placed a hand low on her stomach, then slipped under her short but still over her underwear. For their sake, he had to slow things down a little. “Sì, por favor…” Yes, please.

His heart nearly stopped as he pressed on the cotton of her underwear and felt the wetness gathered there. “Putain,” he groaned, releasing her nipple. Fuck. He looked down to where his hand had disappeared, and traced her slit over her panties. Her breathing was quick, so quick that he almost worried. But if the flush on her cheeks and the way her eyebrows furrowed were any indication, this was a good thing. Her legs had fallen from his hips, now resting on the sides of his body.

“More,” she demanded. “Rowan, please, I want more.”

Who was he to refuse her. He slipped his hand off her shorts, only to grab the waist bad as well as the one of her panties. “Ready?”

“Do your goddamn job,” she narrowed her eyes at him. “Or I’ll do it myself.”

He leaned in to kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Her body shuddered. He slowly slid her last piece of clothing down her legs, then discarded them. With shaky hands, he slid his fingers over her knees and slowly parted her legs, allowing him a perfect view of her pussy. “Magnifique,” he breathed, the word escaping him. He swallowed, his eyes finding hers. “You look beautiful, Aelin.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded, leaning in to kiss her and help her discomfort fade away. She melted into the kiss, then asked, “I want to see you, too.”

Sure, he could do that. He leaned back an looked at her as he took his shirt off. Her eyes were on him, her lips parted. She sat, sliding a hand over his chest. “You’re beautiful, too, Rowan.”

With a hand on the side of her face, he kissed her. He poured all his desire in this kiss, everything he felt he wanted her to feel too. Then, with confidence he didn’t own, he slid a hand on her body until it settled between her legs. He slid a finger between her folds, swallowing her moan as his finger caught her clit, and slid a finger inside of her as his thumb pressed on her bundle of nerves.

She whimpered into his mouth as he found a rhythm, the noise her body made were heavenly. She asked for more, and he delivered. He laid her on her back, letting a second finger enter her.

He kissed her neck, savoring the salty skin there. When she got too loud, he swallowed her moans. He didn’t want anyone else to hear those noises, they were all his. She was all his.

“Rowan,” she whimpered, “Ro, I’m close.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He nodded, pressing harder on her clit. “Come for me, mon ange. Let me see you.”

The nickname had escaped him, but she was his angel. She broke under him, throwing her head back as her body tensed around his fingers. And she looked magnificent that way. He found a new glow to her, one that made his cock painfully hard.

When she rode out her orgasm, she was breathless, and Rowan slowly pulled his fingers out. He had to taste her, and it was exactly what he did when he brought his fingers to his mouth, letting her taste explode in his mouth.

He cursed when her hand cupped his dick, his eyes closing at the pressure of Aelin’s hand on him. “I want you, Ro,” she breathed, sliding a hand under his boxers. He couldn’t believe it, but he stopped her.

“Aelin,” he whispered. “If you want to do more, you can’t touch me or I won’t last.”

Her eyes turned hungry at the mention of more, and she nodded. She helped him get rid of his pants, and he almost got shy at finding himself naked in front of her. But her eyes full of admiration wiped every insecurity away.

“How do you…” She asked.

“Do you trust me?”

She nodded and let him part her legs as he laid in between, nuzzling her neck with his nose. He kissed the junction of her neck and shoulder, slightly nipping at the skin there.

He couldn’t believe it was happening as he grabbed his cock and placed it at her entrance. “It might hurt,” he warned her, though she knew that more than him.

“I don’t care,” she breathed, and it was settled. He pushed in slowly, her walls parting for him. It was an effort to not slam in, he was greedy too, but the way Aelin’s body tensed as he entered her was enough to stop him.

Once he was fully sheathed in her, he stopped moving. She was panting under him, and he kissed her everywhere as he let her adjust. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he breathed onto her skin. He hated that, hated that he could be hurting her.

“Rowan,” she said. He looked at her then, using his elbow to hold himself over her. “It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt.”

He frowned, “Are you sure?”

She nodded, “Just a bit uncomfortable, but it’s already better.”

His body relaxed, and after a few more seconds, she told him he could move. At first, his movements were slow, the feeling for her soft and wet walls around him a delight. But, as she asked for more, Rowan delivered. He wrapped her leg around his waist as his thrust quickened, as he lost himself in the feeling of her. She bit on his shoulder, keeping herself quiet. And it shouldn’t have unsettled him so much, shouldn’t have made him feel so much, but Rowan broke then.

He spilled inside of her, gasping into her neck as his orgasm crashed over him. He slid a hand between their bodies, rolling her clit between two fingers and made sure her orgasm crashed over her as well before he allowed himself to relax.

With a wince, he pulled out. He used his shirt, which had been thrown at the end of the bed, to clean her up before settling back next to her, wrapping an arm around her. She leaned into his touch, sighing in content.

Rowan thought they would fall asleep that way, and he was almost there when she spoke, “Are you still my best friend? Will it change things?”

With a hand on her cheek, he angled her head his way, “Nothing could change the way I feel about you.”

His eyes softened, “I’m happy. You’ll always have my back; you’ll always be my safe place.”

“Always,” he swore. “And if you don’t Wanya anyone to know about tonight…”

Because they were two pathetic excuses of human beings, and yet Rowan didn’t feel guilty. Chaol Westfall was an ass, and maybe he didn’t deserve to be cheated on, but Aelin deserved everything she wished for.

She shrugged, “I think I’ll break up with him,” she said. “What do you think I should do?”

He shrugged, pretending to be indifferent when he just wanted her to get rid of him. “If you don’t trust him…”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “You’re right.”

He liked hearing those words out of her mouth. He knew it was rare, she didn’t often say that. She switched the light off and snuggled closer to him, and then Rowan felt at peace and fell asleep.

••••••

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove​ // @imnotsogoodatthis​ // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml​ // @elentiyawhitethorn​ // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler​ // @loves-books​ // @fangirlprincess09​ // @theysayitscrazy // @danibutterr​ // @endlessdaydream​ // @thegreyj​ // @gracie-rosee // @acreativelydifferentlove // @cretaceous-therapod​ // @louphantomdragon // @mis-lil-red​ // @backtobl4ck​ // @whoever-you-choose-to-love​ // @lemonade-coolattas // @mad-madeline-ace​ // @the-introverted-bibliophile // @leiawritesstories​ // @emilyoftheshadows​ // @anniesbookshelf // @rainbowcheetah512 // @astra-ad-mare // @story-scribbler // @superspiritfestival // @wordsafterhours // @rowaelinrambling // @black-daisy-water // @fireheart-violet // @livsdriverslicense // @charlizeed // @ladykreads // @mariamuses // @autumnbabylon // @justreadertings // @highqueenofelfhame

[cljordan-imperium]

VIBE TAG

I was tagged by @sunset-a-story with "I can't do this"

I'm tagging @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @shipping-through-eternity, and @writingpotato07 with "WHY ME?!"

And now to mine...I hope you enjoy <3

“I see you have met your guardians,” a deep male voice from across the room had her head jerking up and her yanking the covers up almost to her chin; which hid the two small beings that were now on her lap chirping happily.  He held up a hand and gave a soft chuckle.  “I’m sorry Amaya, I did not mean to scare you.” He then gave a short bow.  “I’m Ollandrius, but most just call me Olly.” He gave her a warm smile, which she thought made him look like some kind fo Disney prince.  Were men supposed to be that handsome in real life?

Brief flashes of the night before went through Amaya’s mind, and his face was in them.  He was kind, warm, and she had a recollection of protection from him.  She relaxed and lowered the covers some, nodding and returning his smile.  “Sorry, I guess I’m just a little on edge.  The last couple of days have been a little weird and…” she shut her mouth and her brows drew together as she tried to figure out how to even put it into words. “Eventful?” Olly offered as he stepped into the room, drawing out a light chuckle from her this time and a nod.  “We kind of got that idea when Dartan summoned a couple of demons when he lost you in the forest.  Although, your little friends there, and their friends, did keep you safe until we found you.”  His smile had not faltered, and it made Amaya feel more relaxed.  He wasn’t a small man, but she could almost feel goodness radiating off of him, safety.  For Olly’s part, he was studying her, trying to see if there were any lingering effects of the mushrooms or being out in the forest exposed to the elements.

“Uh, yeah.  I’m sorry that I caused you or your friends any trouble.  I goofed up a spell.” Her face fell and she looked at her lap where the little beings were snuggling against her and ran her hand through their fur.  They even felt as soft as chinchillas.  “This is all my fault, everything is is my fault.

“Or, you were given a bad one by someone that should not have been trusted.  We’re looking into all the possibilities now.  No more apologies, and no more sadness.  You are a guest of the King and Queen, and there is no reason for it.  When you are doing better a whole suite is being prepared for you.  You’ll be taken care of here.” The poor human.  She probably wouldn’t get to stay one.  Like Delilah, existing in a world that she knew was full of monsters and demons would be too dangerous if she stayed one.  If they couldn’t teleport her, staying in Imperium would most definitely be too dangerous, and it had nothing to do with the inhabitants.  The mushrooms had proved that.  Olly was worried about her.

“Uh…what about Dartan?”  Were they going to make her live with him?  He hated her.  He blamed her for everything, and after she got lost out in the forest, he probably hated her more.  The last thing she wanted was to be stuck living with him.  Maybe they could just kill her and let her go wherever it was that her soul was supposed to go?  Or because she was bound to Dartan, would she just end up back here?

Olly took a deep breath, this was going to be slightly awkward.  “You won’t have to see him anymore.” He saw the confusion on her face, so he continued. “You’re bound, so it’s not like he can go far, but it was the belief of the Queen that you would be happier if he were not in your immediate vicinity, and that there were others here in the Palace who could help you get acclimated to everything much easier.  She was quite insistent.”  He had to chuckle, he was putting it mildly.  He was pretty sure if she’d been confident his head would not have regrown she would have removed it from his shoulders the previous night.

“Oh.” Amaya said simply.  She didn’t know how to feel about that.  Truthfully she wasn’t sure that she knew how to feel about any of it.  How was one supposed to feel in a situation like she was in?  Had anyone ever been in her situation.  She doubted it.

“Are you ok?”  Olly was worried about her.  “I know it will take some getting used to here, but you won’t be alone.  Arch, he’s a mage that helped heal you last night, and I are going to help you.  Arch can help you with your magic, he’s kinda good at it.” He gave her a teasing wink that made her smile. 

“I just feel kind of lost.  The whole bonded or married or whatever…” she kind of waved her hands around a bit as her lips pursed, “was a huge shock, and I know he hates me for it.   I can’t blame him.  I brought him here and now he’s stuck with me.  I’m sure he’s glad that he’s free of me, at least we get to live in a castle.”  She smiled a little again and shrugged.  She really did feel so very lost.

THE IMPERIUM CHRONICLES TAG LIST - @ceph-the-ghost-writer @kjscottwrites @writingpotato07 @saltysupercomputer @careful-pyromancer @late-to-the-fandom @autumnalwalker @perasperaadastrawriting @fearofahumanplanet @jessica-writes22 @dogmomwrites @mjjune @verba-writing @blind-the-winds @shipping-through-eternity @inkspellangel

Please ask to be +/-

[dailybuddhismpractice]

Amitabha Buddha’s eighteenth Vow is the King of all Fundamental Vows.

Start the day. Think of what u can take with u when u die? What u can take with u is 阿弥陀佛. Others like money, social status, property, food, love ones, feelings & etc. cannot be taken with u. For whatever u cant take with u, just let go... 

1. Namo Amitabha x 10 times, 阿弥陀佛. 🙂

2. Sending gratitude to the Universe & Amitabha.

3. Wish that all beings can meet Amitabha and be reborn in Sukhavati - Western Pureland.

Zeng yip. hwazang. 6 gen needs sau hui lai become 1 yin.

You are undervalued.

32 creates everythg when combined.

Formula for success: Lou se (Honesty), Ting hua (listen to the Buddha), Zhen kan (really do), fang xia (let go).

May sentient beings caught in the various realms of rebirth be reborn soon in my land, so they can enjoy peace and happiness.  Exercising compassion constantly to save all beings, I will deliver them from Avici Hell.  “May sentient beings caught in the various realms of rebirth be reborn soon in my land, so they can enjoy peace and happiness.”  This is a message from Amitabha Buddha to all beings.

Understanding yuan chi (yun hei) is the starting point for cultivation to enlightenment. One tung everything will tung, means u understand the rise/fall in life (cycle), next step is let go, make vows (to zhong sarng), then go pureland whuch is the end is also the beginning is also the end. From then on u will start to save and liberate other, having learn from the enlightened ones on how to nian fo cheng fo. Lower down the expectations to achieved more. Set goals that are low so u could achieve more. Start something but start low. No frustration. The power to create depends on this, the more u let go, the more u create, the more u give the more u get, the more u desire the more u give love to others. Human has 84,000 yip need 84,000 fart mun to resolve. Nianfo is outside of all these fart mun and need to learn how meet the requirements to be reborn in Western Pureland. Must maintain 10 leem tao of buddha name and ying sing bu luan.

Amitabha Buddha’s eighteenth Vow is the King of all Fundamental Vows because all the benefits and merits of admiring the 47 vows eventually return us to the 18th, the Vow of Amitabha-Recitation for Rebirth. The 18th Vow states:

If, when I attain Buddhahood, sentient beings in the lands of the ten directions who sincerely and joyfully entrust themselves to me, desire to be born in my land, and call my Name, even ten times, should not be born there, may I not attain perfect Enlightenment. Excluded, however, are those who commit the five gravest offences and abuse the right Dharma.

Among the 48 vows, the words “should they not be born there, may I not attain perfect Enlightenment” are found only in the 18th Vow, not in the other two vows of rebirth, the 19th and 20th Vows. It is only the 18th Vow upon which the pristine Pure Land School is founded. If there were no 18th Vow, there would be no Pure Land School. 5 Skandhas. Materiality & spirituality. All buddhas have their own individual causal vows, but Amitabha’s 18th Vow is the foremost among them, so Amitabha Buddha is known as the Buddha of the Great Vow. It could be said that Amitabha was the example for Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva, who is also known as the Bodhisattva of the Great Vow, as Ksitigarbha’s vow is the greatest among all bodhisattvas. Tam chan chi cheng yuk. UFO. Chung kuo tai. Third eye can open.

Universe started together when your xin (mind) is shakened. Yi than zhin too many 32,000. Xing fu yuan man. It is created even before any time and space. Alaya consciousness is created. How big? Bigger than the universe, it is zhe xin. Lun wui is to tai yim and change it. Meng sarm kin seng (sarm leng) where u have chap seng (dirty, tham chan chi, ko sarng wud too use to it this turned into wisdom, chi seng sickness). Sarng meng is sarng wud. Zhuan seng to become zhi wai. Fui fuk zhi seng, seng fat (cheng fo). Close to Enlightenment which is with no differentiation. Mona become pin deng. Xin fo peng deng. That is the state of Buddhahood. Time & space came from one source. Me but still got fa sheng. Western Pureland is created by it too of Amitabha Buddha but it does not have 'zhi xin dong nian'. Non differentiation mind. The truth behind the tooth. The papaya croach story. When you let go of yourself, you got the world. When you let go of this world, you will get Western Pureland. Tree is life. Today is world environmental day, Jun 5th 2022. A tree is a universe. Money is printed from destroying a universe (tree) and then used in ways to cause more harm to the planet, the universe. Change it dont chase for it, seek and manage. Everything you do, everyone you see, dharma help you see the truth all attachments become saha world, then suffering arise, everything is Amituofo, the way you see the world becomes Amituofo. Ching jing peng deng sure reborn in Pureland. Practicex3. Zhen fa meng ru lai (Kuan yin aeons ago. Kuan ser yin ru lai teaches Kuan Ser Yin pusa the disciple, er kern zhui ling). My true nature is the Buddha. Wui guai zhi sing. Dharma is the cure of sickness (Fart). Li (bu shen bu miet) ser jen, xiang sher jia. Xin is chen, ser is jia. True or false also dont be too attached.  Bu ji xing dong nien jiu ser the tips. With a sickness, ji, xing, dong, nien, fern, bie, zhe, zhuo (6 gen). Karn po. Yi cher yau wei fart, sern miet fa. Mei lai mei chu, sam mo se de mei you. Wo you 3 bao. Ching jing peng den. Arhat achieve zeng jue. Pusa practice Peng deng xin to achieve chen deng zeng jue, Buddha chen wu sarng chen deng jue. Ser jie wan wu ser yi ti. This body is my manifestation (you r the greatest magician). Dont do anything in saha world that makes you attached too much that you couldnt let go and seek rebirth in Western Pureland. Wu xin is Amituofo. Amituofo is my xin. Every ben xin is Amituofo. You seek yourself. Let yourself be found, not search outside but inside. The world is using a piece of paper to weigh everything, cert for qualification, paper owns land and houses. A piece of paper becomes everything, your self worth as light as a piece of paper....Jing zhen guo. Fang xia chai but ku, let go and burden's gone...Compassion is your focus, is your life. If no compassion then only left unhappiness and sorrow. Happiness in Saha world is the start of unhappiness. Go back to the neutral state is happiness, no unhappiness. You need to peace down, silent give rise to wisdom. My heart is my way place. Wo xin ju shi tao chang. Fo got 52 jie ti. Let go, become Arhat, let go become Pusa and let go become Buddha. 1 second contains 1600 leem which is rise / fall. Life & death. Change alaya to 9 sik then end, no more life & death. Wu wo.a

Chaotu prayers / retreat: Lunch by 1.30 pm on Pusa 8 kwan zhai day. Note: June 21st in china kills dog, Korea, Vietnam, use zhi lig, fa lig, fo lig. Then, it will combined at a great strength to change the world. 30 days be vegan. House concept, a house its like a cell. No matter how beautiful, you are trapped within. Your body is already like a house. Ur problem is u let go of ur house and came here, that is the dna effect of leaving China to Malaysia living a house there like grandpa. Let go 1. Love. 2. Ego. 3. Doubt. Then be born in western pureland. Amituofo + 1000 Guan ser yin pu sa (1 men). Use zhen sing and peng deng xin. Get away from yuan, called li yuan.

All problems are caused by yu wang, cause of 6 realms of rebirth, u loose Buddhahood becos of yu wang. Seong kung yeong, har pin po xi. Shang kung xia shi. Sau harng, sau kung yeong. Biggest fu is ching jeng sam but xin but ngok, warng sarng jeng to (pureland). 

Call upon the 7 Buddhas x 3:

Namo Duo Po Yu Loi

Namo Bo Seng Yu Loi (zhun seng)

Namo Miew Sik Sarn Yu Loi

Namo Kong Pok Sarn Yu Loi

Namo Lee Po Wai Yu Loi (guard)

Namo Kam Lou Wong Yu Loi

Namo A Mi Tuo Yu Loi

1. Offering to Buddha

2. Serve Buddha house & others

3. No killing

4. Believe in cause & effect, seize all bad cause

10 ngok lun.

1. 1 sesame oil producer

2. 10 x sesame producer equal one prostitute center.

3. 10 x pros ctr equal one shop selling alcohol shop / club.

4. 10 x shop selling equal one ctr killing animal.

5. 10 x ctr killing animal equal one ngok by losat fart chut ka yan po fart fart.

3 kwai, 5 kai, 10 xin（十善）

Buddhist morality is codified in the form of 10 precepts (dasa-sīla), which require abstention from: (1) taking life; (2) taking what is not given; (3) committing sexual misconduct (interpreted as anything less than chastity for the monk and as sexual conduct contrary to proper social norms, such as adultery, for the layman); (4) engaging in false speech; (5) using intoxicants; (6) eating after midday; (7) participating in worldly amusements; (8) adorning the body with ornaments and using perfume; (9) sleeping on high and luxurious beds; and (10) accepting gold and silver.

Laymen are to observe the first five precepts (pañca-sīla) at all times. Occasionally, such as during the fortnightly fast day, they may observe eight precepts (aṣṭā-sīla; the first nine, with the seventh and eight combined as one). Normally, the full 10 vows are observed only by monks or nuns, who also follow the detailed monastic rules (see pātimokkha) that are a further elaboration of the precepts.

As of October 2nd, 2023

Start - Basic (10.30 am)

One off bo: Multiplier mantra 10.5 = (243)

Xu kung jin, Zung sherng jin, Niet pan jin, Wo yuan nai jin.

Hui hung zhun, zhung sharng jun, nit pun jun, ngo yun nai zhun.

Mouth (om soli soli..), Body (om sowa..) x7

Multiplier mantra 4x108, Done 110.75 + 24.5

Om Ram (Om Ram....Svaha), x 108, Done 34.25

Om Chrine (7 times, one protect hse, three protects whole place, seven protects the country) x108, Done 33.25

Earth Gods of Five Directions mantra (Namo Samanta Buddhanam Om Dulu Dulu Di Wei Soha) x3 per day, Done 86

Stupa mantra x3 per day, Done 56

A va la ka kia, Done 9 + 14.25

Sakyamuni Buddha mantra 4x108 Done 13.25

Cundi Bodhisattva Mantra

(Namaḥ Saptānāṃ Samyaksaṃbuddha Koṭīnāṃ Tadyathā Oṃ Cale Cule Cundī) x108, Done 6 + 14.5

Oṃ Cale Cule Cundī Svāhā x 108, Done 42 + 46

Om Mani Padme Hum, A Ah Sha Sa Ma Ha 1x108 per day, Done 19

Usnisa Vijaya mantra, Om Bhrum Soha - 1x108 per day, Done 19

Om Bhrum x 108, Done 30

Part 1 (11.30 am)

Om Vasudhare Svaha x108, Done 13

Namo Samantha Buddhanam Om Mahakalaye Svaha x108, Done 3.5

Om Mahakalaye Svaha x1080, Done 10

(20x27x2 = 1080 or 60 x small beads)

Part 2 (12.30 am), Lunch @ 1.30 pm

Medicine Buddha long mantra, Medicine Buddha heart mantra x108, Done 15

Manjushri mantra, Done 9

Om Avira Hum Kachara Mum Soha, Done 9.5

Earth store mantra x108, Done 14.5

7th Past Parents mantra x108, Done 16

Long life mantra (Om sam) x108, Done 9

Om ye ye nan 4x108, Done 9

Food mantra 4x108, Done 9

Water offering mantra, Done 9

Liberate small water being mantra, Done 9

Namo Bo bo Ti li, Cher (li) To li, Dan tuo ye tuo ye, Done 9

Om Maiyura Krante Svaha, Done 7

Om Ah Hum x108, Done 28.5

Part 3 (3.30 pm)

Amitabha (Nian fo) - 108 (6 syllable), 2x108 (4 syllable), Done 11

Avalokiteśvara - 108, Done 11

Mahasthamaprapta - 108, Done 11

Ksitigarbha - 108, Done 11

Heart sutra, Done 39

Tadyatha om gate gate paragate  parasamgate bodhi svaha x108, Done 7.5

Compassionate mantra, Done 56

Om Du lin, Du lin, Jia Du lin, Soha, Done 7

Om zhi zhe ya soha, Done 0.5

7 Buddha Names x3 per day, Done 44 days

Eliminate karma by 7 buddhas mantra 4x108, Done 5.5

Pureland rebirth mantra 4x108, Done 5.5

Om Pu Kam (Pureland), Light mantra 4x108, Done 5.5

Acala Heart Mantra (Namah Samanta Vajranam Ham), Done 6

Oṃ Bodhicittam Utpādayāmi, 14 x per day, Done 3405 + 1145

Part 4 End (6.50 pm), Dinner @ 7.30 pm

Tara mantras

- Green 4x108, Done 4

- Red 4x108, 100% Done 4

- White 4x108, Done 4

(Om Tare Tuttare Ture Mama Ayuh Punya Jñana Pustim Kuru Svaha)

Setrap mantra 4x108, Done 3

Dorje Shugden mantra; Om Benza Wiki Bitana Soha, Done 3

~ Shize 

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Shanti Siddhi Hung 4x108, Done 3

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Ayu Siddhi Hung, Done 3

During pandemic, Om Benza Wiki Bitana Chintau Kuru Ye Soha 4x108, Done 3

~ Gyenze

(Om Benza Wiki Bitana Soha, Tseso Paljor Long Cho, Thamched Putrim Kuru Om) 1x108, Done 3

Om Benza Satto Hung 4×108, Done 170.75 + 13

During 8 Kwanzai

34, 102, 238, 476, 918, 8.5

33, 99, 231, 462, 891, 8.25

31, 93, 217, 434, 837, 7.75

30, 90, 210, 420, 810, 7.5

28, 84, 196, 392, 756, 7

27, 81, 189, 378, 729, 6.75

26, 78, 182, 364, 702, 6.5

25, 75, 175, 350, 675, 6.25

22, 66, 154, 308, 594, 5.5

20, 60, 140, 280, 540, 5

19, 57, 133, 266, 513, 4.75

15, 45, 105, 210, 405, 3.75

14, 42, 98, 196, 378, 3.5

13, 39, 91, 182, 351, 3.25

11, 33, 77, 154, 297, 2.75

10, 30, 70, 140, 270, 2.5

9, 27, 63, 126, 243, 2.25

8, 24, 56, 112, 216, 2

7, 21, 49, 98, 189, 1.75

6, 18, 42, 84, 162, 1.5

5, 15, 35, 70, 135, 1.25

4, 12, 28, 56, 108, 1

3, 9, 21, 42, 81, 0.75

2, 6, 14, 28, 54, 0.5

1, 3, 7, 14, 27, 0.25

(7x per day)

Surangama mantra, Done 117

Om Amarani Jivantiye Svaha, Done 117

Om Maitri Maha Maitri Maitriye Svaha, Done 117

Om Alolika Svaha, Done 117

Mahapratisara Bodhisattva (Om Bhara Bhara Sambhara Sambhara Indriya Visudhani Ha Ha Ru Ru Ca Re Svaha), Done 117

Om Kurukulle Hrih Svaha, Done 117

Oṃ āḥ hūṃ vajra guru padma siddhi hūṃ, 

Done 117

Je Tsongkhapa/Jungkapa, Done 117

(Om Ah Guru Benzadhara Sumati Kirti Siddhi Hum Hum)

Om Garbe Ragam Soha, Done 117

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Soha

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Shanti Siddhi Hung ~ peace

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Ayu Siddhi Hung

~ health

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Punye Siddhi Hung

~ increase, done 180

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Washam Kuru Ho

~ control, done 180

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Rakya Rakya Hung

~ protection, done 180

Namkar Barzin (Om Biyada-Par Dhama-Dhara Soha), Done 117

Zambala of Five Directions (Om Zambala Gari Zanayeh Soha), Done 180

Yellow Zambala (Om Zambala Zalendraye 

Soha), Done 180

Om Samaya Cha, Done 180

Hum Mama Hum Ni Soha, Done 180

TADYATHA OM ANALE ANALE KHASAME KHASAME BHAYRE BHAYRE SAUMA SAUME SARVA BUDDHA ADISHTANA ADISHTITE SOHA OM SARVA TATHAGATHA USHINISHA SITATAPUTRA HUM PHAT HUM MAMA HUM NI SOHA

Medicine Buddha (3 times per day), Done 256

Namo bhagavate bhaiṣajyaguru-

vaiḍūryaprabhārājāya tathāgatāya

arhate samyaksaṃbuddhāya,

tadyathā oṃ bhaiṣajye bhaiṣajye bhaiṣajya-samudgate svāhā

Makura (Buddhist Patron protector of the zodiac sign monkey), 7x per day, Done 117

Bhaisajya-guru-vaidurya-prabha-raja Tathagata

(3 times per day)

Akshobhaya (Pudong Rulai), Done 214

- Namo bhagavate Akshobhaya, tathagataya arhate samyaksambuddhaya. 

Tadyatha Om kamkani kamkani, Rochani rochani, Trotani trotani, Trasani trasani, Pratihana pratihana, Sarva karma paramparanime sarva sattvanancha svaha

Target: 60 per month with 5 to 6 days of 8 kwanzai. Each time 26 to 34, each day 10 to 15 times until reached 60 or more.

Mantra of Ferocious Eating 殘食咒為(Namah samanta vajranam, trat, amogha canda, maha rosana, sphataya, hum, tramaya, hum trat ham mam), Done 3

Others:

+ Cui sui chow

Om tore tore cha tore so poho

Om Lan Soha

Om Chrine

Om Brim

Om Pu Kam (Pureland).

Om Bodhicitta, Mudaba, Dayami.

Om abichanaga

Am Bi Chanaga.

Om da de da de mohe dade svaha.

Om Mani Padme Hung A a sa sa maha

Namo bhagavate...x4

Om Amida Ayu Dadi Soha

Food Mantra

Ganlu sui zhou 

Namo bo bo ti li,  cher (li) to li, dan tuo ye tuo ye

Om mani facili hum

Om Ami Dewa Hrih

Om Kurukulle Hrih Svaha

“After I pass away and my pure doctrine is absent,

You will appear as an ordinary being,

Performing the deeds of a Buddha

And establishing the Joyful Land, the great Protector, In the Land of the Snows.”

-Buddha Shakyamuni in the Root Tantra of Manjushri

You need to nian fo then can achieve fo.

But now, you only nian 6 realm of rebirth how to achieve fo?

You are fo why cannot become fo?

Becos u never let go of the 6 realm of rebirth activities. Greed, anger, ignorance 

(3 poisons need to let go 1st)

All ppl are the creation of their minds.

Then can u nian fo (real valuable activities  the rests are useless)? All problems are due to cant let go of afflictions. Zhe xin give rise to Amituofo & Western Pureland. All existence is creation of the mind. How to let go of everything and seek rebirth in Pureland. All existence, this Saha world is creation of the mind / messy thoughts. Our body is our own manifestation of the (our) mind. Let go of the thoughts and mind, it will take u to next creation / manifestation. Practice but forget don't put practice into the mind. Be forgetful but only remember where you are going, Western Pureland so keep that in mind. This is called freedom of the mind (like depicted in Heart Sutra, freedom - zezai), our only aim which is zezai warng serng si fang ji le sher chieh. Love is the opposite of wisdom. Wisdom can only arise from compassion if you can turn love to compassion. Love can be a distraction to a cultivator. Love is not real. Reason stuck in 6 realms of retribution is love (because got form and conditions), everything of this nature is impermanent, hence love is not real, jia xiang. U cant come out. Dont let jia siang chi pien ni de xin. Dont be fooled by a false image / appearance. Use peng deng xin to console sentient beings, Buddha treat everyone like his father, the King. The thanxiang, cow agarwood no longer here. Go Western Pureland: (Haitao Fashi) Use 3 fu tien, kan ern de fu tien, zhun jing de fu tien, cher pei de fu tien. (Chin Kung Fashi) 3 fu, xiao shun fu mu / respective teachers - 1. Filial piety is the root. 2. Take refuges, san kwai yi / chi kai. 3. Sam sun yan ko (first, nian fo yin, cheng fo zhi ko). Ying guang fa shi. Wu liang yik 

zhi zhai fan now, Da zhi zai tien wang tha men di fu de guang ming bu nen kan dao.  In front of rulai, it's gone. Fan fu. We have 51 mental factors  

https:///wiki/Mental_factors_(Buddhism)

- sing so 11 san de (seong ying), fanuo de 26 (seong ying). The 10 recitation method x 9 times in a day, 2 minutes each time, nian nian bu warng Amituofo. The tipper is must be continuous....then u see improvement (kungfu). Must use chen xing. (Learn from the best learn from the Muslims. Let go to do prayer when the time comes.) Ying ye, 5 jie 10 sarn. Huan xi pu ser. Pu ser, cai yuen guenx2 lai. All existence are manifestation of karma, the fruits of causes (combination of effects). All are swihuan de. At one point, u are here, there, everywhere in the universe of existence, different space and time like a multiverse. This body is like a bowl of water with lots of salt added (a.k.a. sufferings which r the effects of ur past karma). Everything u have contact with is to let u 'suffer' all circumstances created in 

some past lives that u cant see or remember. The purpose of cultivation is to realised this truth (6 realms of rebirth). To break and escape this cycle is to achieve Buddhahood. Fastest way is to see all existences as one and of the same. If u destroy ur own defilements u are doing the same for others only when u have compassion and use 'peng deng, chi pei, po re xin'. This body is yeap bo. Life is like a bowl of salt water. Living it is like drinking it. You need to add more water not morr salt so it geys better over time. Get out of it, pour it back to the sea. You dont need to drink it. It is where water would return (thru true self discovery and enlightenment, practice of Buddhism to the highest level).

4 Universal Vows

Also sometimes called the Bodhisattva Vows, as they are essential to the Bodhisattva path of Mahāyāna Buddhism.

1. Sentient beings are limitless; I vow to liberate them.

眾生無邊誓願度

Zhòngshēng wúbiān shìyuàn dù

Zhong Shen Wu Bian Ser Yuan Tu

2. Afflictions are endless; I vow to eradicate them.

煩惱無盡誓願斷

Fánnǎo wújìn shìyuàn duàn

Fan Now Wu Jing Ser Yuan Tuan.

3. Teachings are infinite; I vow to learn them.

法門無量誓願學

Fǎmén wúliàng shìyuàn xué

Fa Men Wu Liang Ser Yuan Shue.

4. Buddhahood is supreme; I vow to attain it. 

佛道無上誓願成

Fú dào wú shàng shìyuàn chéng

Fo Dao Wu Sharng Ser Yuan Chern.

Om Bodhicitta, Mudaba, Dayami. 

Oṃ Bodhicittam Utpādayāmi

Say this 4 things, ask to let go:

Ken ching qiu fangxia yuen:

1. Du bu qu. Sorry.

2. Ching yuan liang wo. Please forgive me.

3. Xie xie ni. Thank you.

4. Wo ai ni. I love you.

Duration of cultivation:

41 years. May 3rd, 2022 - May 3rd, 2062 (add one year worth of cultivation)

When the Prince, Siddhartha Gautama bids 

farewell to his father saying:

Even my love for Yasodhara…and my son...cannot remove the pain I feel.

For I know that they too will have to suffer,

grow old…and die.

Like you, like me, like us all. 

Yes. We must all die…

and be reborn…

and die again,

and be reborn and die,

and be reborn and die again.

No man can ever escape that curse.

Then that…is my task. I…will lift that curse.

At the moment of the attainment of awakening, the Buddha uttered the following:

"I travelled through the rounds of countless births through the cycle of existence,

Seeking but not finding the builder of this house [of 'self'] and again and again, I faced the suffering of new birth.

O Housebuilder, you have now been seen,

You shall not build a house again for me.

Your beams [defilements] have now been broken, Your ridgepole [ignorance] utterly shattered.

My mind has attained the supreme 'nibbana' ('blowing out')

Realised is the unconditioned, Achieved is the end of craving."

- Siddhartha Gautama

(Dhammapada Verses 153 and 154)

When attachment arises in our mind it does not feel harmful; on the contrary it usually feels beneficial. Therefore, it is important to contemplate repeatedly the faults of attachment and to recognize it as a delusion whose only function is to cause us harm.

Remember one cannot trust what you sees because ur eyes are imperfecg and cannot see the absolute truth. This organ limitation is bounded by it creations. It is created from delusion. What is deluded cannot revealed it undeluded nature. Just like the blind leading the blind...it is still within the same state which is called suffering. When u see without seeing and when u have sight of not using any organ is when the truth would be revealed and the absolute truth is the state overcoming delusion or samsara, the true escape of realm of rebirths. Is when u crossed the other shore. The state of relization, Buddhood, the enlightment. Life's biggest problem is reincarnation. Settle that, settle death using Buddha name recitation and seek rebirth in Western Pureland. Turn back bad effect. Power of Amitabha Buddha, power of others not you. Can u fly, cannot but plane and make u fly, power of others. Simplify cultivation, use 4 letter words or 6 letter words, most utmost technology to take u from all sufferings to ultimate bliss.

[pure-land-mind-life]

Amitabha Buddha’s eighteenth Vow is the King of all Fundamental Vows

Start the day

Think of what u can take with u when u die? What u can take with u is 阿弥陀佛. Others like money, social status, property, food, love ones, feelings & etc. cannot be taken with u. For whatever u cant take with u, just let go...

1. Namo Amitabha x 10 times, 阿弥陀佛. 🙂

2. Sending gratitude to the Universe & Amitabha.

3. Wish that all beings can meet Amitabha and be reborn in Sukhavati - Western Pureland.

Zeng yip. hwazang. 6 gen needs sau hui lai become 1 yin.

You are undervalued.

32 creates everythg when combined.

Formula for success: Lou se (Honesty), Ting hua (listen to the Buddha), Zhen kan (really do), fang xia (let go).

May sentient beings caught in the various realms of rebirth be reborn soon in my land, so they can enjoy peace and happiness.  Exercising compassion constantly to save all beings, I will deliver them from Avici Hell.  “May sentient beings caught in the various realms of rebirth be reborn soon in my land, so they can enjoy peace and happiness.”  This is a message from Amitabha Buddha to all beings.

Understanding yuan chi (yun hei) is the starting point for cultivation to enlightenment. One tung everything will tung, means u understand the rise/fall in life (cycle), next step is let go, make vows (to zhong sarng), then go pureland whuch is the end is also the beginning is also the end. From then on u will start to save and liberate other, having learn from the enlightened ones on how to nian fo cheng fo. Lower down the expectations to achieved more. Set goals that are low so u could achieve more. Start something but start low. No frustration. The power to create depends on this, the more u let go, the more u create, the more u give the more u get, the more u desire the more u give love to others. Human has 84,000 yip need 84,000 fart mun to resolve. Nianfo is outside of all these fart mun and need to learn how meet the requirements to be reborn in Western Pureland. Must maintain 10 leem tao of buddha name and ying sing bu luan.

Amitabha Buddha’s eighteenth Vow is the King of all Fundamental Vows because all the benefits and merits of admiring the 47 vows eventually return us to the 18th, the Vow of Amitabha-Recitation for Rebirth. The 18th Vow states:

If, when I attain Buddhahood, sentient beings in the lands of the ten directions who sincerely and joyfully entrust themselves to me, desire to be born in my land, and call my Name, even ten times, should not be born there, may I not attain perfect Enlightenment. Excluded, however, are those who commit the five gravest offences and abuse the right Dharma.

Among the 48 vows, the words “should they not be born there, may I not attain perfect Enlightenment” are found only in the 18th Vow, not in the other two vows of rebirth, the 19th and 20th Vows. It is only the 18th Vow upon which the pristine Pure Land School is founded. If there were no 18th Vow, there would be no Pure Land School. 5 Skandhas. Materiality & spirituality. All buddhas have their own individual causal vows, but Amitabha’s 18th Vow is the foremost among them, so Amitabha Buddha is known as the Buddha of the Great Vow. It could be said that Amitabha was the example for Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva, who is also known as the Bodhisattva of the Great Vow, as Ksitigarbha’s vow is the greatest among all bodhisattvas. Tam chan chi cheng yuk. UFO. Chung kuo tai. Third eye can open.

Universe started together when your xin (mind) is shakened. Yi than zhin too many 32,000. Xing fu yuan man. It is created even before any time and space. Alaya consciousness is created. How big? Bigger than the universe, it is zhe xin. Lun wui is to tai yim and change it. Meng sarm kin seng (sarm leng) where u have chap seng (dirty, tham chan chi, ko sarng wud too use to it this turned into wisdom, chi seng sickness). Sarng meng is sarng wud. Zhuan seng to become zhi wai. Fui fuk zhi seng, seng fat (cheng fo). Close to Enlightenment which is with no differentiation. Mona become pin deng. Xin fo peng deng. That is the state of Buddhahood. Time & space came from one source. Me but still got fa sheng. Western Pureland is created by it too of Amitabha Buddha but it does not have 'zhi xin dong nian'. Non differentiation mind. The truth behind the tooth. The papaya croach story. When you let go of yourself, you got the world. When you let go of this world, you will get Western Pureland. Tree is life. Today is world environmental day, Jun 5th 2022. A tree is a universe. Money is printed from destroying a universe (tree) and then used in ways to cause more harm to the planet, the universe. Change it dont chase for it, seek and manage. Everything you do, everyone you see, dharma help you see the truth all attachments become saha world, then suffering arise, everything is Amituofo, the way you see the world becomes Amituofo. Ching jing peng deng sure reborn in Pureland. Practicex3. Zhen fa meng ru lai (Kuan yin aeons ago. Kuan ser yin ru lai teaches Kuan Ser Yin pusa the disciple, er kern zhui ling). My true nature is the Buddha. Wui guai zhi sing. Dharma is the cure of sickness (Fart). Li (bu shen bu miet) ser jen, xiang sher jia. Xin is chen, ser is jia. True or false also dont be too attached.  Bu ji xing dong nien jiu ser the tips. With a sickness, ji, xing, dong, nien, fern, bie, zhe, zhuo (6 gen). Karn po. Yi cher yau wei fart, sern miet fa. Mei lai mei chu, sam mo se de mei you. Wo you 3 bao. Ching jing peng den. Arhat achieve zeng jue. Pusa practice Peng deng xin to achieve chen deng zeng jue, Buddha chen wu sarng chen deng jue. Ser jie wan wu ser yi ti. This body is my manifestation (you r the greatest magician). Dont do anything in saha world that makes you attached too much that you couldnt let go and seek rebirth in Western Pureland. Wu xin is Amituofo. Amituofo is my xin. Every ben xin is Amituofo. You seek yourself. Let yourself be found, not search outside but inside. The world is using a piece of paper to weigh everything, cert for qualification, paper owns land and houses. A piece of paper becomes everything, your self worth as light as a piece of paper....Jing zhen guo. Fang xia chai but ku, let go and burden's gone...Compassion is your focus, is your life. If no compassion then only left unhappiness and sorrow. Happiness in Saha world is the start of unhappiness. Go back to the neutral state is happiness, no unhappiness. You need to peace down, silent give rise to wisdom. My heart is my way place. Wo xin ju shi tao chang. Fo got 52 jie ti. Let go, become Arhat, let go become Pusa and let go become Buddha. 1 second contains 1600 leem which is rise / fall. Life & death. Change alaya to 9 sik then end, no more life & death. Wu wo.a

Chaotu prayers / retreat: Lunch by 1.30 pm on Pusa 8 kwan zhai day. Note: June 21st in china kills dog, Korea, Vietnam, use zhi lig, fa lig, fo lig. Then, it will combined at a great strength to change the world. 30 days be vegan. House concept, a house its like a cell. No matter how beautiful, you are trapped within. Your body is already like a house. Ur problem is u let go of ur house and came here, that is the dna effect of leaving China to Malaysia living a house there like grandpa. Let go 1. Love. 2. Ego. 3. Doubt. Then be born in western pureland. Amituofo + 1000 Guan ser yin pu sa (1 men). Use zhen sing and peng deng xin. Get away from yuan, called li yuan.

All problems are caused by yu wang, cause of 6 realms of rebirth, u loose Buddhahood becos of yu wang. Seong kung yeong, har pin po xi. Shang kung xia shi. Sau harng, sau kung yeong. Biggest fu is ching jeng sam but xin but ngok, warng sarng jeng to (pureland).

Call upon the 7 Buddhas x 3:

Namo Duo Po Yu Loi

Namo Bo Seng Yu Loi (zhun seng)

Namo Miew Sik Sarn Yu Loi

Namo Kong Pok Sarn Yu Loi

Namo Lee Po Wai Yu Loi (guard)

Namo Kam Lou Wong Yu Loi

Namo A Mi Tuo Yu Loi

1. Offering to Buddha

2. Serve Buddha house & others

3. No killing

4. Believe in cause & effect, seize all bad cause

10 ngok lun.

1. 1 sesame oil producer

2. 10 x sesame producer equal one prostitute center.

3. 10 x pros ctr equal one shop selling alcohol shop / club.

4. 10 x shop selling equal one ctr killing animal.

5. 10 x ctr killing animal equal one ngok by losat fart chut ka yan po fart fart.

3 kwai, 5 kai, 10 xin（十善）

Buddhist morality is codified in the form of 10 precepts (dasa-sīla), which require abstention from: (1) taking life; (2) taking what is not given; (3) committing sexual misconduct (interpreted as anything less than chastity for the monk and as sexual conduct contrary to proper social norms, such as adultery, for the layman); (4) engaging in false speech; (5) using intoxicants; (6) eating after midday; (7) participating in worldly amusements; (8) adorning the body with ornaments and using perfume; (9) sleeping on high and luxurious beds; and (10) accepting gold and silver.

Laymen are to observe the first five precepts (pañca-sīla) at all times. Occasionally, such as during the fortnightly fast day, they may observe eight precepts (aṣṭā-sīla; the first nine, with the seventh and eight combined as one). Normally, the full 10 vows are observed only by monks or nuns, who also follow the detailed monastic rules (see pātimokkha) that are a further elaboration of the precepts.

Start - Basic (10.30 am)

Mouth (om soli soli..), Body (om sowa..) x7

Om Ram (Om Ram....Svaha), Done 16.25

Om Chrine (7 times, one protect hse, three protects whole place, seven protects the country) x108, Done 15.25

Earth Gods of Five Directions mantra (Namo Samanta Buddhanam Om Dulu Dulu Di Wei Soha) x3 per day, Done 91

Stupa mantra x3 per day, Done 36

A va la ka kia 108, Done 15.75

Sakyamuni Buddha mantra 4x108 Done 8.75

Cundi Bodhisattva Mantra

(Namaḥ Saptānāṃ Samyaksaṃbuddha Koṭīnāṃ Tadyathā Oṃ Cale Cule Cundī) x108, Done 13.25

Oṃ Cale Cule Cundī Svāhā x 108, Done 77

Om Mani Padme Hum, A Ah Sha Sa Ma Ha - 8x108 Done 11.25

Usnisa Vijaya mantra, Om Bhrum Soha - 8x108 x 2, Done 11.25

Om Bhrum x 108, Done 11.25

Part 1 (11.30 am)

Om Vasudhare Svaha x 108, Done 3

Namo Samantha Buddhanam Om Mahakalaye Svaha x 108, Done 2.25

Om Mahakalaye Svaha x 1080, Done 1 (20 x 27 x 2 = 1080 or 60 x small beads)

Part 2 (12.30 am), Lunch @ 1.30 pm

Medicine Buddha long mantra, Medicine Buddha heart mantra x108, Done 10

Manjushri mantra, Done 6.25

Om Avira Hum Kachara Mum Soha, Done 6.25

Earth store mantra x108, Done 11.5

7th Past Parents mantra x108, Done 19.75

Long life mantra (Om sam) x108, Done 12.25

Om ye ye nan 4x108, Done  5.75

Food mantra 4x108, Done 5.75

Water offering mantra, Done 5.75

Liberate small water being mantra, Done 6.25

7 Buddha Names x3 per day, Done 34 days

Namo Bo bo Ti li, Cher (li) To li, Dan tuo ye tuo ye, Done 5.75

Om Maiyura Krante Svaha, Done 4

Om Ah Hum x108, Done 24

Part 3 (3.30 pm)

Nian fo - 108 (6 syllable), 2x108 (4 syllable) Done 3

Kuan yin - 108, Done 3

Great Strength - 108, Done 3

Ksitigarbha - 108, Done 3

Heart sutra, Done 3

Tadyatha om gate gate paragate  parasamgate bodhi svaha x108, Done 2

Compassionate mantra, Done 3

Om Du lin, Du lin, Jia Du lin, Soha, Done 2

Eliminate karma by 7 buddhas mantra 4x108, Done 1

Pureland rebirth mantra 4x108, Done 1

Om Pu Kam (Pureland), Light mantra 4x108, Done 1

Acala Heart Mantra (Namah Samanta Vajranam Ham), Done 4.75

Oṃ Bodhicittam Utpādayāmi, 14 x per day, Done 3,808

Part 4 (6.30 pm)

Tara mantras

- Green 4x108, Done 1.75

- Red 4x108, 100% Done 1.75

- White 4x108, Done 1.75

(Om Tare Tuttare Ture Mama Ayuh Punya Jñana Pustim Kuru Svaha)

Setrap mantra 4x108, Done 1.25

Dorje Shugden mantra; Om Benza Wiki Bitana Soha, Done 1.25

~ Shize

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Shanti Siddhi Hung 4x108, Done 0.75

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Ayu Siddhi Hung, Done 0.75

During pandemic, Om Benza Wiki Bitana Chintau Kuru Ye Soha 4x108, Done 0.75

~ Gyenze

(Om Benza Wiki Bitana Soha, Tseso Paljor Long Cho, Thamched Putrim Kuru Om) 1x108, Done 0.75

Part 5 - End (6.50 pm), Dinner @ 7.30 pm

Om Benza Satto Hung 4×108, Done 177.75

Multiplier mantra 4x108, Done 109.25

During 8 Kwanzai

34, 102, 238, 476, 918, 8.5

33, 99, 231, 462, 891, 8.25

31, 93, 217, 434, 837, 7.75

30, 90, 210, 420, 810, 7.5

28, 84, 196, 392, 756, 7

26, 78, 182, 364, 702, 6.5

25, 75, 175, 350, 675, 6.25

22, 66, 154, 308, 594, 5.5

20, 60, 140, 280, 540, 5

19, 57, 133, 266, 513, 4.75

15, 45, 105, 210, 405, 3.75

14, 42, 98, 196, 378, 3.5

13, 39, 91, 182, 351, 3.25

11, 33, 77, 154, 297, 2.75

10, 30, 70, 140, 270, 2.5

9, 27, 63, 126, 243, 2.25

8, 24, 56, 112, 216, 2

7, 21, 49, 98, 189, 1.75

6, 18, 42, 84, 162, 1.5

5, 15, 35, 70, 135, 1.25

4, 12, 28, 56, 108, 1

3, 9, 21, 42, 81, 0.75

2, 6, 14, 28, 54, 0.5

1, 3, 7, 14, 27, 0.25

(7x per day)

Surangama mantra, Done 95

Om Amarani Jivantiye Svaha, Done 76

Om Maitri Maha Maitri Maitriye Svaha, Done 76

Om Alolika Svaha, Done 95

Mahapratisara Bodhisattva

(Om Bhara Bhara Sambhara Sambhara Indriya Visudhani Ha Ha Ru Ru Ca Re Svaha), Done 76

Om Kurukulle Hrih Svaha, Done 76

Oṃ āḥ hūṃ vajra guru padma siddhi hūṃ, Done 76

Je Tsongkhapa/Jungkapa, Done 76

(Om Ah Guru Benzadhara Sumati Kirti Siddhi Hum Hum)

Om Garbe Ragam Soha, Done 76

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Soha

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Shanti Siddhi Hung ~ peace

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Ayu Siddhi Hung

~ health

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Punye Siddhi Hung

~ increase, done 187

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Washam Kuru Ho

~ control, done 187

Om Benza Wiki Bitana Rakya Rakya Hung

~ protection, done 187

Namkar Barzin (Om Biyada-Par Dhama-Dhara Soha), Done 95

Zambala of Five Directions (Om Zambala Gari Zanayeh Soha), Done 95

Yellow Zambala (Om Zambala Zalendraye Soha), Done 95

Om Samaya Cha, Done 76

TADYATHA OM ANALE ANALE KHASAME KHASAME BHAYRE BHAYRE SAUMA SAUME SARVA BUDDHA ADISHTANA ADISHTITE SOHA OM SARVA TATHAGATHA USHINISHA SITATAPUTRA HUM PHAT HUM MAMA HUM NI SOHA

Hum Mama Hum Ni Soha, Done 87

Medicine Buddha (3 times per day)

Namo bhagavate bhaiṣajyaguru-

vaiḍūryaprabhārājāya tathāgatāya

arhate samyaksaṃbuddhāya,

tadyathā oṃ bhaiṣajye bhaiṣajye bhaiṣajya-samudgate svāhā, Done 133

Makura (Buddhist Patron protector of the zodiac sign monkey), 7x per day Done 76

Bhaisajya-guru-vaidurya-prabha-raja Tathagata

(3 times per day)

Akshobhaya (Pudong Rulai), Done 79

- Namo bhagavate Akshobhaya, tathagataya arhate samyaksambuddhaya.

Tadyatha Om kamkani kamkani, Rochani rochani, Trotani trotani, Trasani trasani, Pratihana pratihana, Sarva karma paramparanime sarva sattvanancha svaha

Target: 60 per month with 5 to 6 days of 8 kwanzai. Each time 26 to 34, each day 10 to 15 times until reached 60 or more.

Mantra of Ferocious Eating 殘食咒為(Namah samanta vajranam, trat, amogha canda, maha rosana, sphataya, hum, tramaya, hum trat ham mam), Done 3

Others:

+ Cui sui chow

Om tore tore cha tore so poho

Om Lan Soha

Om Chrine

Om Brim

Om Pu Kam (Pureland).

Om Bodhicitta, Mudaba, Dayami.

Om abichanaga

Am Bi Chanaga.

Om da de da de mohe dade svaha.

Om Mani Padme Hung A a sa sa maha

Namo bhagavate...x4

Om Amida Ayu Dadi Soha

Food Mantra

Ganlu sui zhou

Namo bo bo ti li,  cher (li) to li, dan tuo ye tuo ye

Om mani facili hum

Om Ami Dewa Hrih

Om Kurukulle Hrih Svaha

“After I pass away and my pure doctrine is absent,

You will appear as an ordinary being,

Performing the deeds of a Buddha

And establishing the Joyful Land, the great Protector, In the Land of the Snows.”

-Buddha Shakyamuni in the Root Tantra of Manjushri

You need to nian fo then can achieve fo.

But now, you only nian 6 realm of rebirth how to achieve fo?

You are fo why cannot become fo?

Becos u never let go of the 6 realm of rebirth activities. Greed, anger, ignorance (3 poisons need to let go 1st)

All ppl are the creation of their minds.

Then can u nian fo (real valuable activities  the rests are useless)? All problems are due to cant let go of afflictions. Zhe xin give rise to Amituofo & Western Pureland. All existence is creation of the mind. How to let go of everything and seek rebirth in Pureland. All existence, this Saha world is creation of the mind / messy thoughts. Our body is our own manifestation of the (our) mind. Let go of the thoughts and mind, it will take u to next creation / manifestation. Practice but forget don't put practice into the mind. Be forgetful but only remember where you are going, Western Pureland so keep that in mind. This is called freedom of the mind (like depicted in Heart Sutra, freedom - zezai), our only aim which is zezai warng serng si fang ji le sher chieh. Love is the opposite of wisdom. Wisdom can only arise from compassion if you can turn love to compassion. Love can be a distraction to a cultivator. Love is not real. Reason stuck in 6 realms of retribution is love (because got form and conditions), everything of this nature is impermanent, hence love is not real, jia xiang. U cant come out. Dont let jia siang chi pien ni de xin. Dont be fooled by a false image / appearance. Use peng deng xin to console sentient beings, Buddha treat everyone like his father, the King. The thanxiang, cow agarwood no longer here. Go Western Pureland: (Haitao Fashi) Use 3 fu tien, kan ern de fu tien, zhun jing de fu tien, cher pei de fu tien. (Chin Kung Fashi) 3 fu, xiao shun fu mu / respective teachers - 1. Filial piety is the root. 2. Take refuges, san kwai yi / chi kai. 3. Sam sun yan ko (first, nian fo yin, cheng fo zhi ko). Ying guang fa shi. Wu liang yik zhi zhai fan now, Da zhi zai tien wang tha men di fu de guang ming bu nen kan dao.  In front of rulai, it's gone. Fan fu. We have 51 mental factors 

https:///wiki/Mental_factors_(Buddhism)

- sing so 11 san de (seong ying), fanuo de 26 (seong ying). The 10 recitation method x 9 times in a day, 2 minutes each time, nian nian bu warng Amituofo. The tipper is must be continuous....then u see improvement (kungfu). Must use chen xing. (Learn from the best learn from the Muslims. Let go to do prayer when the time comes.) Ying ye, 5 jie 10 sarn. Huan xi pu ser. Pu ser, cai yuen guenx2 lai. All existence are manifestation of karma, the fruits of causes (combination of effects). All are swihuan de. At one point, u are here, there, everywhere in the universe of existence, different space and time like a multiverse. This body is like a bowl of water with lots of salt added (a.k.a. sufferings which r the effects of ur past karma). Everything u have contact with is to let u 'suffer' all circumstances created in some past lives that u cant see or remember. The purpose of cultivation is to realised this truth (6 realms of rebirth). To break and escape this cycle is to achieve Buddhahood. Fastest way is to see all existences as one and of the same. If u destroy ur own defilements u are doing the same for others only when u have compassion and use 'peng deng, chi pei, po re xin'. This body is yeap bo. Life is like a bowl of salt water. Living it is like drinking it. You need to add more water not morr salt so it geys better over time. Get out of it, pour it back to the sea. You dont need to drink it. It is where water would return (thru true self discovery and enlightenment, practice of Buddhism to the highest level).

4 Universal Vows

Also sometimes called the Bodhisattva Vows, as they are essential to the Bodhisattva path of Mahāyāna Buddhism.

1. Sentient beings are limitless; I vow to liberate them.

眾生無邊誓願度

Zhòngshēng wúbiān shìyuàn dù

Zhong Shen Wu Bian Ser Yuan Tu

2. Afflictions are endless; I vow to eradicate them.

煩惱無盡誓願斷

Fánnǎo wújìn shìyuàn duàn

Fan Now Wu Jing Ser Yuan Tuan.

3. Teachings are infinite; I vow to learn them.

法門無量誓願學

Fǎmén wúliàng shìyuàn xué

Fa Men Wu Liang Ser Yuan Shue.

4. Buddhahood is supreme; I vow to attain it.

佛道無上誓願成

Fú dào wú shàng shìyuàn chéng

Fo Dao Wu Sharng Ser Yuan Chern.

Om Bodhicitta, Mudaba, Dayami.

Oṃ Bodhicittam Utpādayāmi

Say this 4 things, ask to let go:

Ken ching qiu fangxia yuen:

1. Du bu qu. Sorry.

2. Ching yuan liang wo. Please forgive me.

3. Xie xie ni. Thank you.

4. Wo ai ni. I love you.

Duration of cultivation:

41 years. May 3rd, 2022 - May 3rd, 2062 (add one year worth of cultivation)

When the Prince, Siddhartha Gautama bids farewell to his father saying:

Even my love for Yasodhara…and my son…

cannot remove the pain I feel.

For I know that they too will have to suffer,

grow old…and die.

Like you, like me, like us all.

Yes. We must all die…

and be reborn…

and die again,

and be reborn and die,

and be reborn and die again.

No man can ever escape that curse.

Then that…is my task. I…will lift that curse.

At the moment of the attainment of awakening, the Buddha uttered the following:

"I travelled through the rounds of countless births through the cycle of existence,

Seeking but not finding the builder of this house [of 'self'] and again and again, I faced the suffering of new birth.

O Housebuilder, you have now been seen,

You shall not build a house again for me.

Your beams [defilements] have now been broken, Your ridgepole [ignorance] utterly shattered.

My mind has attained the supreme

'nibbana' ('blowing out')

Realised is the unconditioned, Achieved is the end of craving."

- Siddhartha Gautama

(Dhammapada Verses 153 and 154)

When attachment arises in our mind it does not feel harmful; on the contrary it usually feels beneficial. Therefore, it is important to contemplate repeatedly the faults of attachment and to recognize it as a delusion whose only function is to cause us harm.

Remember one cannot trust what you sees because ur eyes are imperfecg and cannot see the absolute truth. This organ limitation is bounded by it creations. It is created from delusion. What is deluded cannot revealed it undeluded nature. Just like the blind leading the blind...it is still within the same state which is called suffering. When u see without seeing and when u have sight of not using any organ is when the truth would be revealed and the absolute truth is the state overcoming delusion or samsara, the true escape of realm of rebirths. Is when u crossed the other shore. The state of relization, Buddhood, the enlightment. Life's biggest problem is reincarnation. Settle that, settle death using Buddha name recitation and seek rebirth in Western Pureland. Turn back bad effect. Power of Amitabha Buddha, power of others not you. Can u fly, cannot but plane and make u fly, power of others. Simplify cultivation, use 4 letter words or 6 letter words, most utmost technology to take u from all sufferings to ultimate bliss.