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#which these tags have nothing to do w your question but are also just my feelings overall on it lol
thepavementsings · 1 year
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you think pierre will be forgotten about next year?
This has been sitting in my inbox for a HOT minute, I think based on some tags I may have made a few weeks ago? And now that i'm done finals I'm finally answering it lol what a treat for me.
I think the thing about Pierre is that in the larger fandom, he's already served his big narrative purpose™. The whole narrative arc of getting beat down and shoved away by Red Bull, and pushing through that? Persevering despite everyone telling him "you're as good as done"? Becoming lost in all of the personal and professional tragedy of 2019 and then finding himself again? Becoming a fantastic teammate and someone trusted to lead and then finally finally breaking out of the mold that has shaped him for so long? He's had his little hero's journey already.
Even this year, I think so much of him got... maybe flattened out is not the right word. But I think there was something genuinely SO interesting about the way Pierre rubbed up against everything this past season that was TOTALLY missed under the media-pushed Yukierre and shit car of it all. IMO it was HARD to dig into the meat of it when so much of it was presented like, candy coated rotten apples lol. Especially if you aren't like... in it like the Pierries are. A lot of it got missed (like that 5-10 minutes before people realized what was actually happening in Japan was a perfect microcosm for this season w Pierre LOL but but let's not get into that). I also just think how Pierre was this year hit less of the broad strokes big dynamic and character interests of the fandom than he did in 2020/2021 maybe!
So I think the popularity of him as a character continues to go down at Alpine too, yeah. Because the new story is about chipping away at a new thing. It's not as sexy for him alone: people who don't care about Pierre's story and only care about the narrative will watch for it to blow up with Esteban and thats about it. So much of I think the actual compelling stuff for him happens behind the scenes now, in these next few months before the season starts. It'll be about someone who is so strict and used to routine and one structure and has pre-existing expectations for a lot of usually goes on around him being thrust into a completely new environment and having to figure out how to swim after so long. It's the "Red Bull is the longest relationship I've ever had", and now what? Have you really learned have you really grown etc etc? But so much of that we wont be able to see!!
He's never really been main character compelling to people, which I get. Cause I think his typecast is harder to get into or even figure than the Maxes Or Charleses or Daniels of it all for example. He's often a useful secondary character to a slash or a gen pairing but a hard primary!! God gives his hardest tests etc etc.
The question is really what is the next big arc? And I dont know if there is one thats super clear. Which is fine for me because unfortunately I like it better when less people talk about the people I like because they dont know the lore! or whatever lol you know what I mean. But anyways I think he's just filled his narrative purpose in wider fandom. I am ok with him being put back on the proverbial doll shelf for now though!
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moonjxsung · 7 months
Text
Seasons
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Copyright Ⓒ 2023 by Moonjxsung
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner. Doing so will result in a legal takedown per the Digital Millennium Copyright Act and is subject to legal action.
Pairing: Lee Felix x fem reader
W/c: 24.1k
Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of a hospital, alcohol, smoking, erotic photography, use of pet names, clitoral stimulation, breast/nipple play, unprotected sex, creampie, dry humping, sex in a semi-public place (no one is around), oral sex (fem receiving), fingering, cum eating
Synopsis: Seasons come and go like your love for Felix once did- but when he reappears in your life several years later, things are much different.
[this work was based off a request from @crookedt44th - thank you for requesting!]
18+. Mdni!
Small town at the edge of the world. 11:30am. A Tuesday in Autumn.
If you told the average person to shut their eyes and think of their favorite city, they’d probably conjure up a lengthy description about the booming skyscrapers, the bumper-to-bumper traffic, the fancy restaurants and the well-kept people. Point it out on a map, you’d tell them, and their finger would land in the heart of the amorphous blob of whatever state they’ve chosen.
Now move your finger to the right- keep going, and going, and don’t stop until you’re almost off the map entirely. There will be no major indicators, no colorful dots on this area of the map. You might miss it, in fact, if you shoot too far.
That’s the town of Ember.
A town so insignificant, the only name they could think to give it was based on the fire that plagued it almost 50 years ago, which begged the question to those in neighboring cities- who even lives there?
Famous for absolutely nothing of importance, population who-knows-these-days, nothing to do and nowhere to go.
And the place you call home.
*
“Pieces of a Dream. 1970’s.”
“Yellow,” your manager responds, and you unravel a bulky roll of discount stickers, thumbing one off the adhesive and placing it gently in the corner of the plastic-wrapped vinyl.
“The rest of those should be discounted,” he says, quickly shuffling through the stack and giving them a little slap with the palm of his hand.
He slides the stack over to you, taking his spot on the wooden stool by the register again and flipping through a stack of pages on his clipboard.
Chris, your manager, has been the owner of Ember Records for the better part of a decade now. He succeeds his father’s role as store owner, who succeeded his father’s role, back when the record shop wasn’t mostly lost to the fire. Since its relocation, it’s much smaller, so you’ve heard, only about half the shelf space available to house the generous collection of records his great grandfather used to collect and sell.
This is one of just a handful of shops around here, located in the heart of the tourist attraction that is the town’s square. Thus, you’re well-acquainted with the baristas from the coffee shop across the street, the waiters at the diner, the librarians and even the car mechanics. You’re all familiar with the businesses you run to keep this town on its feet, many of you having chosen to stay here for a simpler life.
“I dig the grays,” you tell Chris, crossing your arms as you lean against the counter and slide him the finished stack of tagged vinyl.
He sighs, cocking his head and uncapping his pen between his teeth. “They creep up on you when you least expect it. You know this shit costs like, hundreds to get dyed?”
“Leave it,” you say to him, giving a small nod as you speak. “It makes you look more mature. I mean, what does Yena think of it?”
“She loves it,” he says, catching a glimpse of his reflection in one of the glass cases and running his hands through his hair. “But she’d also love if I shaved my eyebrows off. She’ll compliment anything.”
“Then shave your eyebrows,” you say, chuckling, as you stuff your phone in the back pocket of your jeans. “You’re lucky to have a wife who’s so supportive of your decisions. I’m taking my lunch!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Chris says, laughing as he shakes his head. “Oh, and Yena left you some pie in the back room.”
“Tell her thank you!” You call over your shoulder as you make your way to the back.
The back room is just a glorified storage closet, one dingy table pushed up against the wall, one wooden chair and shelves of records that need to be pushed out to the sales floor, or should’ve just been burned in the fire. You have to duck your head to not hit it on the hanging pendant lamp, its bulb buzzing concerningly loud as you take your seat and pry open the Tupperware container Yena left for you in the fridge- cherry pie, your favorite, from the diner down the street where she works.
As you take generous bites of your first meal of the day, you shuffle through a stack of records neglected on the table from last week’s donation. There are a myriad of genres- old jazz bands, electronic records, synth pop and even a few ambient pieces. As you flip over one of the covers, Chris calls to you from the front, his voice echoing around the dingy little storage closet.
“Y/n! I need you to come help out!”
And you sigh, promptly shutting the Tupperware closed again and making your way out to the front.
That’s the thing about this job- it’s small, but it’s busy, the hundreds of records demanding your very precise attention at any given moment of the day. You live to serve the people here, suggesting records to those seeking new sounds or curiously peering at genres unknown to them. And tourists are drawn to the place, often leaving with armfuls of old vinyl to add to their collections. It’s not a town they’ll likely ever visit again, you’re well aware, but the shop allows people to take a little piece of Ember with them wherever they go. And though the lack of grandiosity might not bring them back, your attentiveness to detail and passion for music sometimes do.
*
“Coffee?” Yena asks you, as you slide into the familiar spot of your favorite booth, next to the window in her diner. She saunters over with the pot anyway, setting a little white mug down in front of you and filling the cup halfway.
“Thanks,” you reply, already tearing open packs of creamer.
At half past 8, the record shop closes in only an hour, Chris taking on the role of closing procedures in your absence. It’s a routine life you lead, tending to the record shop by day and basking in the town’s simple pleasures by nighttime. And with all the people you love in it, you have no reason to leave, no rush to migrate elsewhere.
“How’s work?” Yena asks, sliding into the booth across from you and pulling a notepad out from her apron. She flips through the pages, stopping on a blank one and adding up her tips for the evening.
“Fine,” you say to her, taking a generous sip of coffee. “Just mostly repeat customers for today. But we did have a pretty hefty donation, so that’s a plus.”
“Anything good?” She questions, without looking up from her notepad.
“Negative. A lot of older stuff I used to listen to in high school.”
Yena finishes tallying up her tips, shutting her notepad and finally meeting your gaze.
“Hey, if that’s old, then I’m ancient.”
You both laugh, and she keeps her gaze on you for a moment before speaking again.
“Gosh, I still remember when you moved here. You were so… wide-eyed. And quiet.”
“I was so lost,” you say with a small chuckle. “I don’t even think I knew how to work a record player.”
“And now look at you,” she emphasizes, gesturing to your face. “You just seem… happy these days.”
She smiles for a moment, before gathering the empty cups of creamer off the table and sliding out of the booth.
“I hope you’ll stay here, if it means you’re always going to be this happy.”
You smile to yourself as she begins back toward the kitchen, humming to herself.
“Wasn’t planning on leaving!” You call out, and without turning around, she gives you a thumbs up before disappearing into the kitchen again.
*
Some days, your shifts feel like 5 minutes. Other days, they feel like 5 days. Today is the latter, the clock on the wall above the register ticking away by the second, and yet seemingly no closer to the end of your day. You’re on closing procedures this evening, Chris and Yena having taken the day off to have a much overdue date night. And it’s empty, like it usually is on Wednesday evenings, not a soul in sight as the town tends to their own duties, the tourists all working busy jobs in the city.
You slouch your shoulders over the wooden stool, dusting off a pile of folk records and shuffling through them, admiring the intricate paintings on the covers. It’s one of your favorite things about working here- locating the beautiful paintings and photographs that graze the covers of records, all of them vastly different from one another, but equally as evocative. You trace your fingertips over what appears to be a Polish record, a couple dressed in fancy colorful fabrics as he dips her into a bow. You can’t help but wonder what the atmosphere would be like if they were here in front of you, the whole room teeming with the choral ensemble as they’d tap their fancy shoes along the tile flooring and invite you to dance, too. The thought circles your mind with a smile, and you barely hear the next customer enter when they do.
The little gold bell hanging on the door chimes just once when they enter, indicating the arrival of a man, who promptly rushes to the back shelf without so much as a hello. Welcome, I guess, you want to say, dismissing their curtness with a shake of your head as you go back to organizing records.
You shuffle to the next record, admiring the black and white photo of a man with his guitar, a panama hat atop his curly head of hair as he sings into a microphone. It reminds you of the ones your dad used to collect before he passed.
“Excuse me?” A voice interrupts, and you practically jump, startled at the way he navigates the shop without a sound. He’s right in front of the register now, holding a CD in his hands and setting it down in front of you.
“I’d like to pay,” he continues, his baritone voice sounding painfully uninviting.
Without looking up at him, you take the CD from the counter, flipping it over to scan the barcode on the front. Four Decades of Jazz, the cover simply displaying the title in funky purple block text.
“This one’s actually on clearance,” you say, sliding the CD into a small paper bag. “Just 5.”
He pulls out a brown leather wallet, flipping through crisp bills as he searches for exact change. As he does, you take notice of the collection of silver rings that decorate his shorter fingers, a few of them painted with chipping black nail polish. Your gaze fixates on a thicker silver band, carved with black fleur de lis patterns that circle the band all the way around. You cock your head slightly, mapping out the pattern in your head as his hands move, the ring glistening under a beam of light that shines through the window and sets it aglow.
“It was a gift,” the man says when he notices you staring, and he holds out his index finger, rotating his finger to give you the full view.
You say nothing, your lips parting slightly as he does, transfixed by the way the silver hugs his finger and frames his veiny hands. The man stays silent, his gaze on the ring, too, as he pulls it off with a gentle tug and holds it up for you to see.
“Do you want to see it?” He asks, pinching the band between the pads of his fingers as he rotates it under the same beam of sunlight.
“No, thank you,” you reply, your mind still in a trance. “It just… reminds me of…” and your voice trails off, finally allowing your gaze to look up and meet the stranger’s.
His big brown eyes seem to widen when you finally lock eyes, his plump lips parting open as he scrambles to pull the ring back on.
“Something,” is all you can utter, folding the brown paper bag once in your hands and sliding it across the counter. “It reminds me of somebody I used to know.”
His breath hitches his throat as he finds the words to say, unable to string together a cohesive sentence as memories run rampant in his mind, everything coming back to him like a painful wound being reopened.
“Sorry,” is all he can say, clutching the brown bag in one hand as he gives you a small nod. “And thanks. For the CD. Or for ringing me up, rather. Thank you-”
“You’re welcome,” you reply briskly, pivoting on your heel to organize a stack of already-sorted records on the shelf behind you.
And you can still feel him there for a moment, his gaze boring into the back of your head like he wants to say something. But he doesn’t, instead observing the way your hair, a little shorter than he’d previously remembered it, sways gently in its ponytail as you go about your job.
You listen to the way the brown paper bag crumples in his grasp, before he finally retreats and exits, the little bell above the door indicating his departure.
And when you turn around again, there on the counter, his silver ring sits, glistening in the waning glint of the evening sun.
*
“The lattes are so expensive out there,” Yena says, as she takes a sip from her iced coffee. “I’d drink this gas station coffee any day over that stuff.”
You chuckle lightly, shaking your head as you wipe down the counter with a rag. Chris counts change in the register beside you, muttering counts to himself as he scribbles onto his clipboard and listens to your conversations.
“But hey, we still had a good time,” Yena continues, smiling over at Chris. “Sometimes leaving this town keeps you on your toes.”
“Yeah, well, I’m on my toes enough here as it is,” you respond, the three of you chuckling lightly amongst each other.
The bell atop the door chimes once, signifying the arrival of a new customer, and Chris gestures to the door as you look up.
“All you,” he says, going back to his work.
You fold the rag neatly, setting it on the counter and making your way over to the clearance aisle where the stranger stands. His back is turned toward you, his lanky frame towering over stacks of CDs as he thumbs through them casually.
“Can I help you find anything?” You chime in, your hands behind your back as you watch him. As you speak, he turns to face you, and you breathe a deep sigh of annoyance.
“Seriously?” You say, already retreating back to the counter again and turning away from him.
“Wait,” he calls, rushing after you and standing in front of the counter awkwardly. Chris looks up from his clipboard, furrowing his brows together as Yena shoots him an equally questioning look.
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” you respond, unfolding the rag again and wiping down the register.
“Hey, hey,” Chris says, giving you a confused look.
“Don’t worry about it,” you say to Chris through gritted teeth, brushing off the interaction.
“I just wanted to-” the man begins, as he looms behind the counter, fiddling with his fingers nervously.
“Why would you come back?” You question, not looking at him still. “Wasn’t one time awkward enough?”
“I left my ring,” he finally says, dropping his hands at his sides.
Both your gazes fall to your hands, where the silver band rests comfortably on your index finger, almost like it’s always been yours.
“Yeah, whatever,” you reply, pulling it off and sliding it across the counter to him. “Here.”
He doesn’t say anything, not yet reaching for the ring, nor telling you to put it back on. A part of him is fascinated at the prospect you chose to wear it around at all.
The silence that falls over the shop is painfully awkward, Chris and Yena keeping their gazes locked between the two of you as you angrily scrub at a stain on the counter.
“Hey,” Chris says, finally pulling the rag from your grasp. “You’re scratching the wood, kiddo.”
“If no one wants that ring, give it here,” Yena says with a smile.
The ring is slowly lifted from the counter again, slid back onto the finger of its respective owner.
“We’ll give you guys a minute,” Chris says, motioning to the back room with the tilt of his head. And Yena follows him to the back, the till of the register balanced in his arms.
“What do you want?” You ask, finally meeting his gaze again. “I’m working right now.”
His face drops a little, giving you a small shrug before he speaks.
“I was just wondering how you were doing. And I thought-”
“Felix,” you say brazenly, your heartbeat quickening a little at the feeling of his name leaving your lips again after so long. “Cut the small talk. Just tell me why you’re here.”
He sighs as he fiddles with the band around his finger, the metal still warm from the contact against your skin.
“That’s it,” he explains. “I didn’t expect to see you here. And I wondered how you were doing.”
“So leaving your ring here wasn’t an elaborate plan to come back for it?”
“It… was,” he says sheepishly. “I needed an excuse to come see you again.”
“We sell records,” you emphasize. “That’s the only reason you should be here. And if it’s not, then leave.”
“Y/n,” Felix says frustratedly. His eyebrows arch up in an almost pleading manner, his lips quivering as he struggles to find the words to say.
It’s the first time you take notice of his changed appearance, completely opposite to the Felix you last spoke to. His once blonde locks are grown out, grazing over his bony shoulders, a robust shade of ebony that contrasts against his pale skin, tied up into a half ponytail. His plump lips glisten under a glossy coat of peach tint, and his freckles are almost unnoticeable from this distance. You furrow your brows to get a better look, trying to make out the beige constellations you remember so well. But you can’t locate them- not on his nose, or his cheeks or even around his eyes.
He dresses differently, too, a baggy white tank top under a black leather vest, almost too big for him as it swallows his lean figure. And he flaunts a hefty collection of silver jewelry- rings, rows of ear piercings, a chain link bracelet and layered necklaces. If you didn’t know his eyes like the back of your own hand, you might’ve not even recognized him to be Felix.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” You finally ask, your voice softening a little as he toys with the rings on his fingers.
“This is my favorite place for CDs,” he responds, his shoulders relaxing a little as he speaks. “I used to come here every weekend back in high school. I didn’t know you worked here now, I promise I’m not trying to make things weird.”
You sigh a little, shifting your eyes to the shelves and then back at him.
“Well what are you doing here now? Shouldn’t you be in school or something?”
Felix shrugs a little, his expression unchanging. “It’s complicated, I guess.” And then he furrows his brows at you, gesturing to the shop. “I could ask you the same question.”
“It’s complicated,” you reply, echoing his statement back at him. “And I’m not in the mood to indulge you with the story of my life.”
“I have time,” Felix says with a chuckle, and he’s met with your deafening silence.
“Sorry,” he follows, fiddling again with the rings on his fingers.
As you begin to ask him to leave, Chris and Yena enter from the back room again, carefully making their way toward you with hands shoved in their pockets.
“Hey,” Yena says, nudging you gently. “Everything okay, you guys?”
“Yes,” Felix is quick to chime in. “My apologies- I’m Felix,” he says with a beaming smile, holding out his hand to shake Yena and Chris’. They comply, exchanging warm smiles with him, still confused at why you seem so irate.
“I’m sorry to disrupt the peace,” Felix continues, giving them a little bow. “We’re just-”
“Old friends,” you interrupt, rolling your eyes at this act he puts on. “And he was just leaving.”
“Right,” Felix says, his lips pulling into a disheartened expression.
“Y/n doesn’t bring too many friends around here,” Chris chimes in. “What’s the rush to leave?” He chuckles as he finishes, and Yena hits him lightly as if signaling for him to stop.
“Actually,” Felix begins, and you sigh when you realize he’s not done talking yet. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner, or a coffee or something.”
“Felix, I really don’t think-”
“It’s on me if you wanna come to the diner tomorrow,” Yena chimes in. “We still have leftover pie.”
And you pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing deeply as Felix stares at you with a hopeful expression. His eyes are big, gauging your response curiously as you shift your gaze amongst the three of them. Chris watches Yena, who holds her breath as you think. And Felix’s lip seems to quiver when you open your mouth to speak.
“No dinner. Just coffee. And Chris covers my closing shift.”
*
Felix is at the diner much earlier than you are, comfortably reserving a spot for you on a table in the middle of the room and allowing Yena to fill your mugs with hot coffee. He adds three packs of sugar, two cups of creamer and a dollop of whipped cream he requests from Yena. And he waits for you patiently, stacking the spare cups of creamer into an organized pyramid, in between nervous glances out the window.
Yena wants to ask who he is exactly- why you’d seemed so off yesterday, and whether he’s here for a reason, or just to catch up as the old friends you claim to be. But she refrains, knowing to stay out of your business the way you so graciously stay out of hers.
“More coffee?” Yena asks as she approaches Felix, taking note of the near empty mug in front of him now.
“Sure,” Felix replies, shooting her a nervous smile. His hands tremble a little as he shoves the pyramid of creamers away from him, pretending to look occupied with his phone instead.
Yena fills his mug to the brim again, sliding him the mug across the table and giving him an empathetic look.
“I’m sure she’ll be here,” Yena says, nodding affirmatively. “She’s usually a little late getting off work.”
And Felix just nods, keeping his gaze on the giant glass windows. Outside, the sun has already set for the evening, darkened skies casting over the little square of Ember. The streets are sparse at this hour, just a few pedestrians who also flock here after their shifts, and the diner is fairly empty with the exception of a few young couples. Felix scans the atmosphere as he waits, observing the way everybody seems so acquainted with the place. Red vinyl booths line the large glass windows, dimly lit by hanging pendant lamps that give a yellow hue to the wooden tables below them. Each table is neatly paired with a silver napkin holder, salt and pepper shakers, hot sauce and a myriad of syrup flavors. And a bright neon red sign advertising fresh pies flickers over the kitchen, which is hidden behind silver swinging doors. It looks like something straight out of a movie, he thinks to himself, as a table nearby is served steaming plates of omelets and fries. And as Felix turns his attention back toward the glass windows, he finally sees you approaching, earbuds in and a nonchalant expression on your face. Your hair is tucked loosely behind your ears, a simple ensemble of loose fitting jeans and a sweater complementing your worn down sneakers. The bell on the door chimes as you make your way inside, a smile on your face as you talk briefly with Yena upon entering. And she gestures back to Felix, who gives a little wave from where he’s sitting, in time for his third coffee refill of the evening.
“This isn’t my table,” you say to Felix when you approach, gathering your mug of coffee and gesturing to your favorite booth against the window. Felix’s eyes flicker to the booth, a confused expression on his face as you wait for him to relocate.
“Well? Are you coming, or what?”
“Yeah, um, sorry,” Felix responds, clutching his mug in one hand and carefully bringing it across the room to the booth.
You furrow your eyes when you look back at the table, a tall pyramid of creamer cups placed where Felix was sitting.
Felix slides in the booth across from you, gesturing to your mug and meeting your gaze.
“Do you take cream? Or sugar?”
“Just two,” you say, picking your cups from the little bowl at the end of the table and tearing them open.
He nods, stirring his coffee around with a spoon as you prepare yours.
“Let me guess,” you say with a knowing smile. “8 packs sugar, 4 things of creamer and an entire can of whipped cream.”
He chuckles lightly, angling you the contents of his cup, which now contains a mixture of frothy melted cream and coffee the color of chocolate milk.
“You always did have a sweet tooth,” you respond, laughing and shaking your head. “Might as well just have a sundae while you’re at it.”
When you’re finished, you hold your mug in both hands, taking a generous sip of the steamy beverage and setting it back down with a gentle thud. Felix watches you intently, like he’s waiting for you to initiate the conversation, but you don’t, raising your eyebrows at him as you wait for him to speak.
“I’m just visiting for a bit,” Felix finally says, twiddling his thumbs on the table in front of him. “I’m doing my classes remotely this semester.”
You nod, saying nothing, as he searches for more words to say.
“Are your classes remote, too?” He continues.
“There are no classes,” you interrupt quickly, before he can press you for more information about school. “I dropped out of college.”
“You did?” Felix retorts, his eyes widening a little at how easily you admit to it. Not an ounce of shame, like it was planned from the start.
“Why?” He follows, tracing mindless patterns into the wood of the table below him.
“Because I hated it. Anything else you want to know?”
“Why are you all the way out here?”
“Because I love it here.”
“And how are your parents?”
“My dad died. Last spring. Are we done now?”
Felix swallows nervously, averting your gaze as he taps his knee nervously under the table.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”
You just nod at him, pursing your lips a little and toying with the handle on your mug.
“Are you going to tell me about yourself, or do I need to play 20 questions, too?” You ask him, rolling your eyes as a smile grows on his face.
Felix chuckles lightly, relieved that you’ve already forgiven his clear overstepping here.
“I’m still in college. I’m just… undecided. I took a semester off a little while ago because I don’t know what I want to do. I haven’t actually been to class physically in… a good while.”
You nod empathetically at his words, the reality of them contradictory to the Felix you once knew. He was a straight A student when you knew him last, quick to join campus clubs and gain popularity wherever he went. People often commented on how different both of you were from each other- Felix, a bright young student who could light up a room with his smile, always so eager to ask questions and familiarize himself with the world around him. And you, a bit more reserved, your world often tainted by the reality of the hardships you’d faced, and the knowledge that life, when not lived for yourself, is often arduous.
“So you’re doing a bit of soul-searching,” you say to Felix, no stranger to the concept of tourists stopping through here to ‘start life anew’ at the sight of run-down coffee shops and bookstores. And when they find what they’re looking for, they’re gone again, like a soul could never thrive here in the town of Ember, even if it’s where it materialized.
“You could say that,” he responds, swirling the remainder of whipped cream around his cup with a spoon. “Things just haven’t been… great.”
You nod in response, averting his gaze as you study the wooden table below him.
“Well good luck,” you finally say, taking a generous gulp of your coffee and scanning the room for Yena before the conversation can go any further than the base-level declarations of your new separate lives.
“Do you remember that night we snuck out of your house?” Felix asks suddenly, just as you begin to get up.
“What?”
“It was raining. I think it was like 3 in the morning.”
You turn to face him again, narrowing your eyes as he speaks.
“I didn’t have a car at the time,” Felix continues. “So you rode on the handles of my bike in the pouring rain. We went to watch the sunrise, only we didn’t realize that of course because we were in the middle of a storm, there was-”
“No visible sunrise,” you interrupt quietly. “We just watched the clouds turn a lighter shade of gray.”
Felix grins a little as you finish, nodding his head.
“Exactly. And when we got home at 5am, your dad was already awake. And he’d never met me before- we swore he’d have it out for me. But he didn’t- he brought us blankets, and he made us tea and laughed his ass off at our stupidity.”
“There’s no sunrise in a fucking storm!” You exclaim, echoing your dad’s lighthearted lecture from so long ago.
Felix laughs with you, the warm memory circling your minds, both of you equally as endeared by the tale you so vividly remember. As your laughter dies down, Felix keeps his gaze on yours, shooting you a half smile as he speaks again.
“Your dad really loved you. And… it’s one of my favorite memories, even today.”
You hold his gaze too, clutching the handle of your mug again and giving him a small nod, your lip quivering a little at the mention of your father.
“Thanks, Felix,” you say in a melancholy tone, taking a deep breath in an attempt to hold back your tears.
When the feeling’s passed, Felix spoons another dollop of whipped cream into his cup and brings it up to his lips.
“Your hair’s shorter,” he says with a chuckle.
“Yours is longer,” you retort. “And black.”
“I’m trying something new.”
“I can tell,” you say, laughing lightly. “And what’s with all the screws and washers in your ears?”
“My piercings?” He replies. “They’re a fashion statement!”
“They look painful.”
“This one was,” Felix says, toying with the silver helix piercing in his lobe.
“And this one,” his fingers trail down to another silver stud, just below the first. “And maybe this one.”
“At what point is this just inflicting pain on yourself for fun?”
“I’m not finished!” Felix says, as you both share amused laughter. He thumbs over another row of silver studs, thinking intently as he speaks. “This one hurt, this one definitely hurt…”
*
“How was your dinner thing last night?” Chris asks in the morning, shooting you a knowing smile as he breaks a new roll of quarters in the till.
“Coffee,” you emphasize.
“Coffee,” he echoes. “How was coffee, with your old friend?”
“It was okay,” you respond, organizing a stack of records on the shelf across the counter. “Just catching up, mostly.”
“Yena said you guys were there for hours.”
“Maybe we were.”
“Hours?” Chris repeats, shaking his head. “What could you have possibly talked about that lasted hours?”
“Friend stuff,” you reply to him. “Maybe if you had some, you’d know.”
“Ouch, kiddo,” he says, clutching his chest in a joking manner as you both laugh.
As you turn to grab another stack of records, the bell over the door chimes, and your heads snap in the direction of the noise. And like you’d accidentally spoken him into existence again, Felix saunters in, a shy smile on his face. He looks a little more casual this time, in just jeans and a black t-shirt, but still different than you remembered him nonetheless.
“Speak of the angel,” Chris mutters, nudging you with his elbow as he waves at Felix.
“Hi,” Felix says cheerfully. “It’s nice and warm in here. Outside’s really cold.”
“Felix, what are you doing here?” You sigh, averting Chris’ shit-eating grin.
“What? I’m buying some CDs.”
“We have a good amount on clearance,” Chris says from where he’s standing. “Back shelf.”
“Thanks!” Felix replies, and you pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance.
“Chris, would you give us a minute?”
And he nods, shooting Felix a thumbs up, before disappearing to the back room with a stack of papers.
“Look,” you begin, turning to Felix. “Last night was fun and all, but I’m still working a job. This doesn’t just make amends or something. It was great catching up, but respectfully, I really don’t want to see you again.”
Felix nods a little, and then he hoists something over his arm. It’s the first time you take notice of it- a black crossbody satchel, draped over one arm, his hand resting casually on the zipper.
“Then I suppose getting help for my project is a no?”
You narrow your eyes at him, gesturing to the bag with a tilt of your head. “What’s in the bag?”
“You don’t get to know if you don’t help me.”
“Just tell me.”
“Promise you’ll help me.”
“Felix-”
He holds the bag a little further away from his body, effectively shielding it from your view and shaking his head. “And it was such a good surprise, too.”
“Just tell me what’s in the stupid bag!”
Felix finally holds the bag out in front of him, unzipping it and carefully pulling out its contents. He reveals a digital camera to you, slinging the strap over his neck and holding it up to squint into the lens. “Smile!”
“What- that’s it?” You question, shielding your face from his view. “How does this pertain to me?”
“I’m photographing the town,” he replies, fidgeting with the lens in his hands. “I need some help.”
“Why would you need my help with that? I’m not a photographer.”
“Yeah but you know this town, and all of its little quirks.”
“There’s a maps app on your phone for a reason, Felix.”
Felix gets quiet again as he fidgets with the lens on his camera, doing nothing particularly useful as he prays you’ll change your answer. And he’s not lying- he does need to photograph this town, and all of its hidden gems for his creative project this semester. But he would be lying if he said having you keep him company wasn’t all he thought about when he went to bed last night, and woke up this morning and inevitably found himself back at your record shop.
“You used to be the best model,” Felix says just above a whisper, letting his camera hang loosely at his waist now. “I still have all my film photos of you.”
The room gets a little quiet as you meet his gaze, not missing the way his eyes seem to soften into a somber expression. He’s always had this way of begging- pleading for what he wants, and you’ve very seldom been able to say no to him. Seeing him stand in front of you now, heavy camera in his small hands and a dream circling his mind, you know the fact still stands true.
“If I do this for you, this is the last favor I run you.”
His lips pull into a toothy smile, his eyes forming little crescents as he nods eagerly.
“I promise. I won’t ask you for anything else.”
When Chris reenters the room, he shoots you a questioning look, which you wave off with a casual roll of your eyes.
“What time are you off today?” Felix asks, and Chris purposely nudges you as he passes by.
“Later. Just come by at closing or something.”
“Yeah, I can do that. Do you want me to bring a coffee or anything-”
“See you at closing, Felix,” you respond with a smile, and you gesture back to the door.
He nods, seeing himself out, camera firmly grasped in his two hands as he waves again through the window.
*
Felix drives the same shitty car he did when you last knew him. Its chipped navy blue exterior clashes horribly with the beige leather seats, the inside tainted by the permanent odor of cigarettes from its previous owner, Felix making futile efforts to mask the smell with pine tree air fresheners. The seatbelts are frayed, the legroom is nearly nonexistent and the live radio is completely busted, with the exception of the CD player.
“All jazz?” You question, shuffling through a neat book of Felix’s CD collection.
“Yeah,” Felix replies, two hands gripping the steering wheel as he adjusts in his seat. “They’re mostly just whatever’s cheapest.”
“I can tell,” you say with a chuckle, reaching the last page, where Four Decades of Jazz now occupies a sleeve of its own. You pop the CD into the player, turning the volume up a few notches and sitting back comfortably as the melodic tune of a saxophone fills the space around you.
“What’s this next place again?” Felix asks, as you shut your eyes and listen to the jazzy beat.
You’ve stopped at three locations already, all spots in Ember you’re particularly fond of. The old bridge that runs over train tracks, a narrow pathway into another world in late evenings. It’s always surrounded by starlings, which flock when the trains pass through and chirp songs that mirror the train’s cacophonous whistle.
The cathedral just north of your record shop, which you don’t attend regularly like the other town-goers do, but always greets you graciously with its towering stained glass windows and crested walls.
And a now abandoned grocery store just a few blocks away, the walls on the back now housing impressive graffiti murals and doodles.
“This last one is a more scenic spot,” you finally respond, opening your eyes as his car passes over a speed bump. “It’s my favorite one.”
Felix just nods as he continues driving, the road narrowing into a one-way route, the area surrounded by wet grassland and barely visible amidst the thick fog.
“What’s the whole premise of this project?” You ask him, realizing you haven’t quite figured out what part you play in this, anyway.
Felix is silent for a moment, his hands rotating over the wheel as he turns into another narrow road.
“It’s just a photography project. About observing your surroundings.”
“Why does it have to be here?”
And he smiles, chuckling lightly to himself, as he reaches a hand out and sprawls his palm over your mouth.
“You ask so many questions! You haven’t changed at all.”
You respond in muffled laughter, prying his hand off your mouth with two hands and shoving it back toward the steering wheel.
“I’m just curious!”
Your shared giddy laughter fills the car for several minutes, exchanging amused glances as he pulls into an open parking lot and circles around to look for a spot. And you let your fingertips graze along your cheek, briefly, remembering the sensation of his hand on you very well.
*
The fourth spot is a spacious grassland just past the hills, not necessarily a hidden gem by the town’s standards, but a place you discovered shortly after you moved out here. It requires hopping a fence to access, jogging down a steep dirt path and then marching back up a grassy hill to make it to your “sweet spot”- or a little dip in the top of the hill, perfect for setting up a picnic blanket and sitting upon for hours.
And of course the best part about it- the view. The whole town is visible from up here, the little buildings and shops you know so intimately an entirely different perspective from this height. Sometimes you imagine what you look like from this view- just a tiny speck of a human in a town not much bigger, crossing back and forth between your apartment, the diner and the record shop.
“You got it?” You ask Felix as he hoists himself up the last stretch of grass, balancing his camera in his hands and dusting off his jeans.
“Yeah,” he replies, coming around to occupy the spot next to you on the grass. You sit back on your hands, your legs crossed at the ankles as you take in the view you know so well. Felix sits cross-legged, toying with the lens of his camera as he prepares to snap a few photos.
“It’s nice up here,” he comments, filling the silence with the clicking noises of his camera.
“Yeah,” you respond shortly, your gaze fixed on the record shop. “It’s a pretty special place.”
He turns the lens, bringing his camera up and snapping a series of photos as you watch him out of your peripheral vision.
“How’d you find it?” Felix asks, scanning the photos and going to take another set.
“I get around,” you reply with a smile, keeping your answer short.
He takes one last set of photos, angling his camera at different sides, and when he’s done, he carefully places the camera in his carrier bag and leans back on his hands, too.
“You really have things figured out here,” Felix says a little quietly, turning to look at you while you keep your gaze straight ahead.
“I didn’t have a choice. It was up to me to keep things going.”
“And… how’s your mom?” He replies quietly.
You shake your head, adjusting your position so that you’re sitting cross-legged, too.
“I don’t know. Last I heard she was out west. New boyfriend or something.”
Felix nods reluctantly, not wanting to press the issue further.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he chimes in suddenly. “I hope you didn’t leave thinking that.”
“It’s fine,” you reply, brushing him off.
“No, listen to me,” Felix continues, turning to face you. “I know you hate talking about it. And I won’t bring it up again. But none of this was your fault. And that summer I wanted so badly to fix everything and take away your pain, and I just… I couldn’t. And I’m sorry.”
You don’t say anything to him, fidgeting with a blade of grass on the ground below you and reminding yourself to keep it together. Don’t cry. Don’t feel.
“You’re doing that thing again,” Felix says bluntly, like he can read your thoughts.
“What thing-”
“That thing. Where you don’t let yourself feel.”
“I feel a lot of things, Felix.”
“Then why haven’t we talked about it yet?”
“Talked about about what?”
“Why you left,” he finally finishes, huffing frustratedly. “Why are we not addressing it? Am I supposed to just act like it didn’t happen?”
“Felix, I really think-”
“You said you would stay and fight for what was ahead of us. And then you disappeared on me. You know how hard it was to go on with my life like you weren’t a missing person for all I knew? You didn’t even call.”
“I changed my number,” you say quietly.
“Yeah, I figured that much after three years.”
Felix gets quiet again, shaking his head as he turns his gaze back to the view. You don’t say anything for a moment, his words swirling in your mind as your heart beats erratically. There’s so much to say- so much you want to explain to him. But the words are caught in the back of your throat, dissipating with every passing second you fail to vocalize them. He glances at you again, hoping you’ll come around- but you don’t, your gaze now transfixed on the blade of grass that rolls between the pads of your fingers.
“I understand if you don’t want to talk about it,” Felix finally says. “And… I’m sorry.”
A copper sunset falls over the buildings below you, casting shadows around you that dance along the blades of grass and disappear over the rolling hills. They shift from massive charcoal forms into smaller shapes that sway with the setting sun, quick to get away from you and disappear when they graze over your seated figures.
“You know there was a fire here, like, 50 years ago,” you say to Felix, still averting eye contact.
“There was?”
“Mhm. See there?” You question, pointing out a vast, empty field and gesturing to the buildings across from it.
“It started east, and it traveled west. And everything there burned, and a few people even died.”
“Wow,” Felix responds. “I didn’t know that. That’s terrible.”
“A lot of the neighboring cities didn’t know this place existed. But when they heard about the fire, many of them came out here, just to donate and help build things back up. Even the record shop burned. The one we have now is a lot smaller.”
He nods as he listens to your story, glancing back at the town as he pictures the blazing flames that ate away most of its structure back then.
“I always think about it,” you continue. “Everyday I imagine how hard it must’ve been to pick up and build things from the ground up again. Chris’ grandfather did it, with the record shop. And the diner did it. And they’re still doing it, keeping things running the way they are.”
Felix nods again, turning to look at you as you watch the town.
“No one could’ve prevented the fire. They could pick up and move on, but things still burned before they did, and people still died.”
Felix begins to say something, his lips parting, but his breath hitches in the back of his throat, and he settles in silence as you finish.
“I’m somewhere there,” you say to him after a silent pause. “I’m somewhere between the fire and the mending.”
And he doesn’t have to say anything else, understanding that this is your way of explaining things.
As darkness begins to fall over you both, you think back to the last time you sat with him like this, on the old hill in your hometown, waiting for a sunrise that never came around. You had passed the time kissing and touching each other so desperately, speaking visions of a new life into existence and making hushed promises to embrace the end together. An end that came to fruition without him, one you ran from before could look it in its face and brave it with Felix by your side.
But here on the familiarity of your hill, looking over a town that burned like the flames inside of you do now, you know there’s good, there are people who will make the journey to help you rebuild no matter what their reservations previously were. But it also takes time, and patience, and the strength to admit things have turned to ash in the first place.
And sometimes, like this town, things and people turn to Ember, a dim glowing reminder of what happened always present still.
*
Soul-searching capital of the world. 6:00pm. On the cusp of winter.
“Think you’re ready?” You query at Felix, pulling the straw out from your vanilla milkshake to lick the other end.
“I think so,” he responds, sorting through a stack of photos on the table.
“Felix, your whipped cream,” Yena says as she turns the corner and sets a small bowl down in front of him.
“Thank you,” Felix replies with a small smile, already spooning a generous amount into his coffee.
The last two weeks have been cordial between the two of you, a sense of normalcy finally present during your time together as Felix wrapped up his photography shots and developed them at the convenience store in town. The pictures are beautiful, little precious neutral-toned glimpses into your everyday life and the town you love so much. It feels like Felix finally understands you, neither pressing you for answers anymore, nor trying to initiate anything more between the two of you like you’d feared. And although the photography sessions have spanned a little more time than you’d originally anticipated they would, you’re well aware this will all be over soon, and then you can get back to the normal, simple life you lead, without having to look introspectively at the state of things. You’re fine, and Felix doesn’t force you to think about it anymore.
“I just have to submit these, and then I’ll be done for the semester,” Felix explains.
“Are you staying in town for the holidays?” You ask suddenly, realizing you’ve never even inquired what his plans are for after this photography project is finished.
“I don’t know,” Felix responds, glancing at the stack of photos. “I don’t really have any solid plans.”
You don’t miss the way he fidgets with the ring on his finger, averting your gaze and swallowing nervously. It’s another habit Felix possesses, getting you to drag him along practically anywhere, but it’s hard to say no when he makes every effort to be so polite and forgiving.
You sigh deeply, praying you won’t regret the words before they leave your mouth.
“Look, a couple friends I have throw a party every year around the holidays. We just get together to smoke and talk. You can come, if you want.”
Felix’s expression brightens almost instantly, meeting your gaze again with big hopeful eyes and a beaming smile.
“Really?”
“Don’t make it weird,” you say, chuckling softly. “It’s just a small thing to unwind.”
“I’ll be there,” Felix responds with a nod. “And I won’t make it weird, I promise.”
“So…” Yena teases, sliding into the booth across from you and raising her eyebrows. “What’s… going on between you two?”
“Who?” You question, cocking your head slightly.
“Oh come on,” she emphasizes. “You guys are attached at the hip. We barely get girl time together anymore. He can’t just be an old friend.”
“He is,” you voice back. “We just go way back, that’s all.”
“He’s cute,” she says, glancing out the window at Felix’s lanky figure making his way back to his car. You both watch as he struggles to get his car open, yanking on the door handle a little hard and stumbling back.
“Well he’s single,” you retort with a soft chuckle. “So if you ever get tired of Chris, he’s your guy.”
“I see the way he looks at you,” Yena explains, as she pulls out her notepad and adds her tips for the evening. “Like he has stars in his eyes or something. I remember when Chris and I met, he was a lot like that.”
“Yena, we’re really not-”
“I know,” she says, shaking her head with a smile. “Feelings, feelings. Yuck. I’m just saying.”
You turn your gaze toward the window again, watching as Felix starts his car and backs out of the parking lot, strands of his ebony hair falling into his eyes as he checks behind him.
And Yena smiles, taking notice out of her peripheral vision at the stars in your eyes, too.
*
Seungmin’s annual holiday party is a tradition you joined in on the first year you moved out here. Working at the record shop your first year, you had no friends, no family and you were completely isolated from the town when you weren’t picking up shifts. He was a regular customer with a knack for old rock records, and he pitied the shifts you worked while the rest of the town mingled at their annual holiday events you’d hear so much about. An invitation to his holiday party was a big feat for you, not only because it was one of the first events you attended here, but because it allowed you to spend the holidays alongside people again, something you hadn’t done since your father’s passing. And thus, Seungmin invites you back every year, never missing a chance to talk records with you and challenge you to eggnog shots.
“I just want to pop these in the trunk really quick,” you say as you open the car door on the passenger side and gesture for the key from Felix. “I usually lend Seungmin a few spare records we have-”
Felix hasn’t registered a word you’ve said, completely entranced by the way your short skirt hugs your hips, a black leather coat thrown over your shoulders and a different pair of sneakers than he’s used to seeing. It’s much different than how he’s normally seen you, dressed down in sweaters and baggy jeans.
And Felix looks particularly dashing, too, his ebony hair tied up again to display his impressive collection of ear piercings, a fitted leather jacket hugging his slim figure and black jeans that elongate his legs. You give him a once-over as he cranes his neck from the driver’s seat and tosses you the keys, unable to verbalize his regard for your outfit. But as you make your way around the car to the trunk, popping it open and placing Seungmin’s stack of records inside, he can’t help but stare in the interior view mirror at the way your skirt rides up when you bend over, exposing a little more of your thighs and leaving little to the imagination.
The drive to Seungmin’s is only a few blocks down from Ember Records, one which Felix completes while stealing very obvious glances at you and making every attempt to calm his erratically beating heart. You pretend the glances go unnoticed, keeping your gaze on the darkened road ahead and making small talk about the party. But you don’t miss the way Felix’s voice hitches in the back of his throat when he speaks, his trembling hands turning the wheel as he pulls into the cul-de-sac and puts the car in park.
And he wants nothing more than to stay here, with you, to sit in his dingy little car and talk with you about everything that happened, to assure you that you’re not alone in your process of mending- he’ll love you through it, regardless. But as Seungmin makes his way out the front door with a red solo cup in hand, calling loudly for you, Felix knows that’s not a possibility.
“Y/n!” Seungmin exclaims, a big toothy grin plastered on his face at the sight of you. He’s a bit taller than Felix is, long legs that frame his slim torso, and a chiseled jawline that makes Felix a little jealous. His voluminous chocolate tresses fall into his eyes as he speaks, and he uses a slender hand to push them away again, shooting you another flashy smile as he chuckles lightly.
“What’d you bring me this time?” He asks, balancing the presumed cup of alcohol in one hand as he watches you retreat to the trunk of the car.
“Couple rock, some alternative and that one artist you liked last time?”
“Hell yeah,” Seungmin replies, as he takes the records from your grasp and shuffles through them eagerly.
Felix clears his throat as he stands beside you, his hands shoved awkwardly in the pockets of his leather jacket as he waits for an introduction.
“Sorry,” you voice, stepping aside and gesturing to Felix.
“This is Felix. He’s an old friend of mine.”
Seungmin hardly looks up from his stack of records, just briefly glancing at Felix and giving him a small nod.
“Hey man. Cool to meet you.”
And Felix’s lips pull into a thin-lipped smile, averting his gaze, too, as he nods.
“Yeah. Same.”
Your eyes dart between Seungmin and Felix, both of them painfully awkward as they stand beside you, avoiding eye contact like some unspoken challenge and looming over you like you’re meant to be the host.
“Should we get inside?” You finally ask, wrapping your arms around yourself and gesturing to the house with a tilt of your head.
“Yeah, sorry,” Seungmin says with a soft chuckle, still averting Felix’s gaze and pivoting on his heel to begin toward the house. Felix gestures for you to follow, trailing behind you and doing his best to steady his nerves as the three of you finally make your way inside.
The house is already crowded for the evening, people standing just about everywhere, red cups in hand and joints pinched between their fingers. They exhale white clouds of smoke as they converse amongst themselves, their eyes all tainted red, as they let all the weed and alcohol consume their consciousness and instill a calm demeanor in themselves. Felix finds himself standing a little closer to you as you approach the sofa everyone’s sitting around, their bodies lazily slung over one another as they chat and drink.
“Y/n’s here,” Seungmin says, as he passes the sofa and heads into what Felix presumes to be his bedroom, with the stack of records in hand.
“Hey!” They call in misarticulated voices. You make your rounds, greeting each of them and exchanging brief anecdotes with them, while Felix remains standing with his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed on the way you smile cheerfully and acquaint yourself with everyone in the room.
You look so relaxed, so well-adjusted to your new life in this little town. As stories are thrown back and forth between yourself and the guests, Felix wonders how long you’ve known them to be able to converse with them to such an intimate extent. They share stories of your shifts at work, stories of previous parties, tales of past lovers they’ve had and late nights all of you spent up in this exact household. Felix can’t help but wonder what he was doing during those moments- probably studying for a test at university, or hooking up with someone he didn’t exactly care for. And by nighttime, he was likely up thinking of you- pondering where you’d gone, what you were up to. If you thought about him just as much as he thought about you.
Part of him wants to be angry, listening in on your stories like this- you’re laughing about parties, exchanging tales of difficult customers- moments that occurred while he was up waiting for you, hoping one day you’d change your mind about everything and return. Felix swore every sunset began to look the same without you there to watch them alongside him, every sunrise much bleaker than the last- even the stars he’d gaze at through his window seemed to lose their meaning.
But watching you like this, a smile that hasn’t left your face once since entering the house and the familiar sound of your harmonious laughter, he knows maybe you did the right thing, after all. Maybe Felix wasn’t a part of this plan life had for you- and perhaps, it’s time to come to terms with the fact that he never will be.
“Felix?” You question, effectively snapping him out of the trance he’s fallen into just by watching you.
“Huh?” He responds, aware that the row of guests on the couch appear to be waiting for him to say something.
“How long are you here for?” One of them repeats, his stare a little cold as he raises his eyebrows and prompts an answer out of Felix.
“Oh, uh… I’m not sure yet. Just for the holidays, I guess.”
They nod in collective unison, no one saying a word as they gauge how nervous he seems to be. And you shoot them an apologetic smile, also clocking Felix’s awkward demeanor as he remains silent and avoids carrying on with the conversation.
“Anyone got a light?” You finally break the silence, and everyone chimes in to answer, offering you joints from between their fingers and fishing colorful lighters out from their pockets. You take a seat on the rug, patting the space next to you, and Felix follows your lead, crossing his legs in the spot beside you and taking a hit from the joint you offer him.
Felix feels himself calm a little as the mellow sensation begins to wash over him, his worries dissipating as he listens to you begin to share another story with the group of people. And his mind wanders back to the past, contemplating your actions and mirroring them with the current state of things.
Three hours into the party, you’re both a little buzzed, feeling much more mellow than you had upon entering, despite taking only one hit from a joint. The room is heavy with thick clouds of smoke, the pungent smell of weed and alcohol present at every corner of the room. Just sitting here and talking gets you high, and you find yourself enjoying the company alongside Felix.
It reminds you of back then, when you and Felix used to attend parties together and run off to random bedrooms for a quick fuck. You’d often find yourself leaving early to spend time just between the two of you, hitting all your signature spots to catch sunrises or binge greasy food. And Felix feels much more relaxed around you now, making small talk with the guests and observing the way you try your hardest to include him in the conversations. As Seungmin takes another hit from his joint, he slouches back in the concave leather of the couch, his gaze darting over the two of you as Felix eyes you curiously.
“So what’s the deal between you two?” He asks, narrowing his eyes as he awaits a response.
“We’re just old friends-” Felix begins to say, but you interrupt him before Seungmin can catch the answer.
“He’s my best friend.”
Felix’s head snaps in your direction, unsure if maybe he heard you incorrectly, or if you’re genuinely claiming that Felix, whose guts you’ve hated for the better part of three years now, is your best friend.
“Best friends?” Seungmin repeats in slurred speech, and you give him a nod.
“Yeah,” you say again confidently. “He’s my best friend.”
And Felix’s lips pull into an involuntary smile, the tips of his ears turning a bright shade of red as he reaffirms your words.
When you turn to smile at him, he pats the space in front of him, extending his legs so that he’s created a spot for you to settle in. And in your buzzed, mellowed out state, you comply, scooting back and slotting yourself between his long legs, letting yourself lean back against his chest and shutting your eyes briefly. Felix reluctantly brings two hands around you, holding you a little closer to him, but you don’t protest the action, the familiar sensation of his arms around you feeling comfortable and safe like it always used to.
“I’d think you guys were fucking if I didn’t know any better,” Seungmin voices, joining a chorus of laughter as he brings the joint up to his lips again.
“So what if we were?” You retort casually, feeling the way Felix’s embrace gets a little tighter around you.
“Nothing wrong with it. It’s just easy to see through you guys. Especially the way this Danny from Grease wannabe looks at you.”
And Felix’s eyes furrow at the statement, well aware of the fact that Seungmin’s begun to get a little aggressive, but not wanting to incite anything that might jeopardize your friendships.
“I should probably go,” Felix says just above a whisper, his mouth hovering just over your shoulder so that you can hear him over all the noise.
“What? No,” you reply, turning your head to meet his gaze. His eyes are wide, his lip trembling a little as he speaks. Felix isn’t confrontational- a fact you’re very aware of.
“I don’t want to start anything-” he begins to say, and you place a hand on his forearm comfortingly.
“Then let’s both get out of here. I’m kinda bored, anyway.”
He’s surprised at the offer- and undoubtedly moved by the prospect that you’ve chosen to stick with him instead of stay here at the party with all your friends. And because he wants to spend the time with you, he doesn’t protest when you turn to voice your decisions to the crowd.
“Well Danny from Grease and I are getting out of here. So you can let your imaginations run wild since you’re so obsessed with us.”
Seungmin chuckles lightly, too stoned to ask you to stay, and candidly, to care about any of it.
“My old records are on the kitchen table,” Seungmin says, as he shuts his eyes and exhales a generous cloud of smoke. “Catch you guys later.”
*
“Where are we going?” Felix asks, as he puts the car into park and watches you unbuckle your seatbelt.
“I have to put the records I lent to Seungmin back in the shop. It’ll only take like two minutes.”
He nods in response, his gaze fixed on the darkened record shop, not used to seeing it at this hour.
“You coming?” You ask him, gesturing to the door, and Felix snaps out of his tranced state, unbuckling his seatbelt, too.
As you twist your keys and push the door open, Felix feels a bit unsettled seeing the shop at this hour. The shelves are pitch dark at the hour, the usually colorful vinyl all looking indistinguishable as they sit in stacks against each other and gather dust. The neon sign above the CD wall is shut off, not even the gentle hum of the bulb present amongst the silence. And the doorway to the back room looks like something out of a horror movie, seeming as though someone- or something, could pop out at any given moment. It feels wrong being here- and he knows he probably shouldn’t be, but he’s not in the place to leave your side just yet.
“Don’t turn on the lights,” you say to Felix when you enter, him following closely behind you. “I don’t want anyone to know we’re here.”
You begin toward the back room, glancing over your shoulder to ensure Felix is following. And he is, albeit reluctantly.
The back room is much smaller than Felix had originally anticipated it to be. It smells of paint, looking far more run-down than the rest of the store, and he’s not sure how anyone can take a lunch break back here considering the lack of table space and seating options.
“This is the break room?” Felix asks, squinting his eyes when you pull the chain beside the medallion lamp and illuminate the room with a dim, orange glow.
“Yeah,” you reply, now shuffling through Seungmin’s old records and putting them in their respective genres. “This is where I eat my sandwiches.”
He chuckles softly, running his hands over the series of music posters pinned to the cork walls, taking in the view you see everyday at noon.
“There’s a record player in here!” Felix exclaims, bending down to examine the 6200 marantz wood turntable on a little cart, just to the left of the dining table.
“Well this is a record shop, you reply with a chuckle, slotting the last few of Seungmin’s vinyl into the shelf. “It wouldn’t make sense if we didn’t have one.”
“Does it work?” Felix asks, tracing the silicone grooves of the platter with his fingers.
“Of course,” you respond, finally turning around to meet his gaze. “Pick something.”
Felix scans the shelves at the neat rows of vinyl, all packed together and indistinguishable from their thin colorful spines alone. He pulls one out, examining illustrations of flowers on the cover, and then slots it back into its respective home. Another flaunts an abstract pattern of cool-toned hues, which Felix observes briefly, and places it back where it belongs, too.
“I can’t decide,” he voices plainly, his eyes scanning over the rows that span the entire length of the room, some of them visibly much older than the rest.
Your fingers graze the spines, too; letting the cracked ridges serve as indication of their age, and then you pinch one between the pads of your fingers, pulling it out to examine the cover. It’s painted sky blue, with images of autumnal trees that stand tall and contrast the gentle hues nicely. In bold red cursive text, the title is scrawled at the top, followed by a brief list of credits and arrangements.
“The Seasons, by Tchaikovsky,” you read aloud.
You recall putting this one on the shelf after a donation a few weeks prior, never having listened to it yourself.
“Will you play it?” Felix asks, and you nod your head in response, already pulling out the black disc and placing it neatly on the record platter. You flip it on, and then bring the tonearm to a random spot, letting the cue lever lower it into place and begin playing. After a few seconds of fidgeting with the volume, the soft sounds of piano begin to fill the room, a somber arrangement that slows into gentler, discoordinate notes.
“This one’s probably winter,” you say to Felix, hoisting yourself up on the table and sitting on your hands. “It sounds sad.”
“Yeah,” he responds, his eyes fixated on the slow turn of the disc, a soft crackling noise emitting as the tonearm runs over the grooves.
Felix suddenly reaches for the bag slung over his shoulder, unzipping the pouch and pulling out his camera.
“What are you doing?” You ask with a soft chuckle, amused at the way he so quickly rushes to adjust the settings.
“I want to take a picture. It’s a nice record player.”
And with the rhythmic click of the lens, he snaps a series of photos, angling himself a bit higher to capture every moving part of the old thing. When he’s finished, he examines the photos himself, a small smile tugging at his lips as he looks over the moment in time captured so perfectly on the little screen of his device. Without warning you, Felix then holds the camera up once more, snapping a quick photo of you and chuckling softly to himself.
“Stop!” You say through laughter, holding a hand up to shield your face as he snaps a few more. “Felix, I’m serious!”
“It’s just for me!” Felix exclaims, bringing his camera down again and scrolling through the candid photos.
As he examines them, you notice how close he is to you now, standing in between your legs that hang lazily off the edge of the table, his frame towering over yours.
He meets your gaze again after a moment, taking notice of the proximity, too, and swallowing nervously.
“You used to let me take pictures of you,” Felix says after a moment of silence.
“That was so long ago,” you reply with a smile. “Things are different now.”
His eyes dart over your bare face, your eyes a little hooded from exhaustion and the mellowed state that overtake your body. It’s a sight familiar to him, still, the way you keep your words short when you’re not asking him questions, nothing except a small knowing smile on your face. But it’s one he’s thought about for so long, painting pictures of you in his head and scanning old photos, like your physical state would somehow come to fruition the more he studied it.
“Please let me take a few more,” Felix says, his voice dropping an octave as his eyes flicker between your lips and your gaze. He knows you’re going to say no, go away, or some other version of it.
But this time, you don’t, taking careful note of the way he so politely asks for what he wants. Memories of him have plagued your mind all night, the feeling of his hands around you still lingering on your body, recalling the way he used to ask so politely to fuck you in the bathroom of house parties like you wouldn’t say yes every single time.
And in the absence of your words, you slide your coat off, discarding it on the table behind you and keeping your gaze locked on his, in just a tight-fitting t-shirt and skirt.
Felix brings his camera up immediately, lest you change your mind like he knows you probably will, and adjusts his lens again, before snapping a single photo of you, sitting so innocently on the table in the back room of the record shop. Your expression remains unchallenged, your eyes softening a little as he pulls away to look at you again. And this time, you let two hands cross over your torso, pulling up the corners of your shirt and letting it ride up until it’s nearly off of you. Felix doesn’t waste any time, bringing his camera to eye-level again and snapping a photo eagerly, his eyes wide as he observes the sight of your hardened nipples through the lens.
The discoordinate piano music still plays from behind him, its tempo increasing gradually as you let one hand position itself over the mound of your breast, kneading gently as Felix positions his camera to zoom in. He snaps another set of photos, bringing his camera even closer to capture you at every erotic angle, and then he pauses briefly, as your hands move to your skirt.
You tug gently, not yet pulling it off, and his photos capture the moment you finally undo the small zipper on the side, revealing the hem of your lace panties to him and looping a finger through them. He feels his breath hitch in his throat, wanting to clarify that he’s not forcing you to do any of this, but too mesmerized to ask you to stop.
And then before he can verbalize his thoughts, you’re tugging the skirt down, too, pulling it off over your sneakers to discard it on the floor below you. Felix can’t look away from the sight, your body hugged so delicately in lace lingerie, your legs parted a little for his photos and practically begging him to come touch you. And yet you say nothing, amused at the sight of Felix gasping over your sitting figure, letting him take the reins and do whatever it is he pleases, even if the implications are clouded by your past.
Felix’s slender hands snap a few more photos, focusing meticulously on your clothed core and your hardened nipples for his own personal use. And then he sets his camera down at his waist again, pulling the camera strap off his body and shoving it back into his satchel. When he turns to say something, he can’t, still entranced by the familiar feeling in his stomach at the body he’s bore witness to so many times.
“Felix,” you say softly, coaxing him to come a little closer.
He obliges, lips parted nervously, as he takes another step forward and allows your legs to rest casually on his.
“I meant to ask you,” you say, cocking your head slightly, bringing one hand up to caress his cheek with your thumb.
“Yeah,” he says, his voice just barely above a whisper. “Anything.”
“Where have all your freckles gone?” You finally ask, observing the way his skin still runs completely clear around his cheeks and eyes, not a hint of a galaxy visible to you, even at this proximity to him.
“Makeup,” Felix responds with a soft chuckle. “They didn’t match my new look.”
And you bring your other hand to his other cheek, grazing your thumbs over his soft skin, before pressing down a little harder and wiping the foundation off of him. He’s right- the beige stars you’d remembered so well begin to appear once again, scattered generously across his button nose and his big eyes. He lets you rub it off of him, not taking his eyes off of yours as you rid him clean of the stuff and then graze your thumbs over him again, in much gentler motions.
“That’s better,” you reply, your eyes darting between his now visible freckles and his plump, parted lips. “They’re my favorite part about you.”
And Felix doesn’t respond, his mind running rampant with thoughts and intentions, as he brings his lips a little closer to yours and finally kisses you, like he’s been dreaming of doing all winter.
You reciprocate instantly, your hands cupping the back of his neck as his lips work against yours, desperately leaning into you and letting his hands snake down the sides of your waist. His kisses are familiar, so reminiscent of years past when he’d kiss you exactly like this, in the proximity of whatever house party bathroom you could run off to and let him have his way with you. And Felix remembers the sensation all too well, this mutual pining of silently yearning for each other in the presence of other strangers until he could confess his love to you through whispered love making sessions when you were finally alone. Felix whimpers softly between kisses, as your hands snake up his t-shirt and graze along the toned flesh of his abdomen. You hum in response, letting your hands tangle in his hair now as he presses further into you and works gentle kisses down your neck. Both your hands find his silky ponytail, pulling off his hair tie in one swift motion and tossing it aside so that his long tresses hang loosely in front of his face, and you tangle your fingers in his ebony roots, tugging slightly as you pull him into your embrace and feel him trail back up to your lips. He pulls away momentarily to gauge your expression, worried you might ask him to stop, but your eyes are wide with anticipation, your breaths labored as you pull him into you again and arch your back into him. You can feel Felix smile into the kiss, satisfied with the turn of events from tonight's party- he’d been so certain you would leave with Seungmin, or shut him out again. But here in the dimly lit room of the record shop, your lips on his as your hands trail lower to unbuckle his belt, there’s no denying you want this just as badly as he does.
And Felix can’t help but wonder how long have things been this way- had something changed at the party? Something that would’ve led you to call him a “best friend” rather than an old one, leave the party with him and even drag him to the record shop after hours, knowing very well you could’ve come alone? Something that instilled an equal sense of desperation in you, to want his lips on yours as badly as he does right now, your bodies yearning for each other like you once did, as you undo his belt buckle and snake it out from his belt loops to discard it on the floor?
He’s not entirely sure- but he also can’t think straight when your hands are tugging at the hem of his jeans, begging him to take them off and mirror the same level of undress you are now. What he can think about are your lips working against his, the gasps that escape you when he grazes his fingers down your sides between kisses and the forte echo of Tchaicovsky’s piano record filling the room with sultry harmonies.
As Felix unbuttons his jeans, you help him tug them down so that they’re pooled around his ankles, the two of you now equal parts undressed and grabbing desperately at the now exposed flesh. You let your hand find Felix’s, wrapping your fingers around his slender wrist, and then bringing it to your panties, where you rest his hand against your clothed core and allow him to graze over your growing wetness.
“Jesus,” Felix exhales, pressing his middle and ring finger down against your core and rubbing in slow, back and forth motions. “I forgot how horny you get when you smoke.”
And you chuckle lightly, not breaking eye contact as he continues to rub you over your lace panties, the wetness against your thin fabric increasing with every gentle movement of his fingers.
“Will you do something about it?” You ask sweetly, one hand reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.
Felix cocks his head slightly, a smug expression pulling on his lips as he works you a little faster now.
“What do you want me to do about it?”
You chuckle in response, growing impatient as he teases your aching clit over the fabric of your panties and keeps his gaze on yours. He’s calculated with his movements, rubbing in gentle motions, pressing down firmly with every other stroke to watch the way your legs squirm desperately around him and ache for more.
“Don’t make me ask,” you say shyly, your hips rutting toward him to chase the friction of his fingers.
Felix’s gaze drops to your core, his lips parted with curiosity at the sight of you now rocking gently toward him, letting your movements do the pleasing as he almost entirely stops rubbing you.
“What if I wanted you to ask for it?” Felix says briskly, a serious expression on his face as he pulls his hand away from you momentarily.
“Felix, you already know what I-”
“Ask for it,” Felix interrupts, keeping his gaze locked on yours now. His eyes are hooded with lust, his eyebrows slanted in a challenging expression as he waits for you to say something. And he knows he’s never been one to make you ask for it- in fact, he was usually the one doing all the begging, whining when you’d take too long to touch him or begging you to let him finish. But coupled with the recent development of his new look, you can’t help but wonder if it’s not the only thing that’s changed about him.
“Ask for it,” Felix states again. “Or I’ll get dressed again.”
And you can’t bring yourself to, still riddled with questions at the peculiar phenomenon of Felix making you ask for sex, desperate to ask if this is a one-time occurrence, or if he’s intent on getting you to beg for his cock from here on out. Does he make all his hookups beg for it like this? Do they oblige without question, or are they just as taken aback with it as you are?
When Felix takes note of your silence, he doesn’t waste another second, pulling up his jeans again and beginning to work the buttons once more. And you feel your heartbeat quicken at the sight, disheartened at the action and still desperate for him to touch you, to fuck you, like your body’s been craving the past hour you’ve been back here.
In a desperate attempt to stop him, your hands reach out, grasping his wrists in yours and watching the way his cock remains tented under the denim fabric of his jeans.
“Please,” you say shortly, a sheepish pout on your face.
“Please what?” He responds, cocking his head to gauge your reaction.
“Please would you fuck me?” You finally say, exhaling frustratedly and flickering your gaze away from him, almost embarrassed to be asking him like this. But Felix’s lips pull into a toothy grin, leaning back into you for a kiss and beginning to work his jeans off of him again.
“Was that so hard?” He mumbles against your lips teasingly.
“Mhm,” you murmur back against him, hearing his jeans pool around his ankles once again as his hands cup around the small of your back.
“It was?” Felix queries, one hand looping through the hem of your panties and grazing along the elastic. “If I remember correctly, we used to play this little game all the time.”
You gasp a little as he pulls the elastic between the pads of his fingers, letting it snap against your delicate skin again and rest against your reddened skin momentarily. Felix observes the way you say nothing, waiting for him to undress you, touch you- anything, without so much as a plea for him to do so. And he’s undeniably roused seeing you this desperate for him, adjusting your position on the table to calm your pulsating core, your hands searching for him and your lips trying so hard to keep purchase on his. Felix feels his cock swell at the confirmation that perhaps you have been thinking of this just as much as he has, and that maybe leaving was the hardest thing you ever did, the way he always hoped it was.
“Are you sure about this?” Felix asks before he can ponder the words.
And in painfully slow movements, you find the hem of your elastic waistband yourself, tugging it down and breaking away from the kiss to snake it off your ankles and discard it onto the floor. The sight alone is confirmation enough for him- your pussy is glistening with wetness, your folds coated generously in your own arousal and your aching clit a robust shade of pink as you wait for him to finish his little game of neglect. Felix can’t even respond at the sight of your cunt on display for him, too engrossed in the familiarity of what it looked like all those past years, exactly like this, begging for him and only him. On the counters of bathroom sinks, in empty fields, in the back of your car and even when his fingers were shoved in it under blankets in a room full of people. Always taking him so wholly and effortlessly, like your cunt was made to have him fill it, squirming around him with hushed moans and whimpers, your bodies intertwining into one tangled mess of pleasure and pure, unadulterated love for one another.
“Felix, please fuck me,” You repeat, a small smirk on your face as you watch Felix stumble over his words, his cock fully erect in the fabric of his boxers.
And Felix can’t answer you, already attaching his lips to yours again and letting his hands come around your back to unclasp your bra. His motions are much quicker now, no lingering intention to make you ask for it or confirm your stance- but every intention to fuck you, fill you, like he knows you deserve.
When your bra is unfastened, he tosses it aside, letting his hands find the mounds of your breasts and kneading them with steady motions. You moan into his mouth as he works you, your legs wrapping around his hips to press his clothed cock into your wetness and grind softly against you. Felix winces at the sensation, doing his best to stave off a premature orgasm while you rut your hips gently against him and let your head fall back in pleasure. And mirroring the pleasurable sensation of his thumbs rubbing circular motions over your nipples, he brings his mouth down to your chest, taking a breast in his mouth and sucking with little whimpers. Your head comes forward to meet his gaze again, his big, innocent eyes locked on yours as he takes the flesh between his lips and swirls his tongue around your nipple. His plump lips remain locked around your mound, alternating between gentle kisses and then back to sucking on your nipple, like he might coax fluids out of it if he tries enough. And he looks so guiltless, so incorrupt as he lets his eyelids flutter shut and your nipple graze his teeth. His actions almost don’t match this darkened, grunge appearance he now sports- and you swear you can still see the blonde locks that once framed his wide eyes and his bright appearance.
As Felix moves to your other nipple, you wrap your legs tighter around him, swaying your hips in gentle rocking motions to stimulate his clothed erection against your wetness and provide some relief to both of you. And he arches his eyebrows up in pleasure, stifled moans escaping his lips as he finally releases your breast from his mouth, a string of saliva connecting you still, as his gaze drops to his boxers.
Hard- he’s unbearably hard underneath his boxers, the tip of his cock kissing the constraining fabric of his boxers that ruts against your exposed clit and sends waves of pleasure through both your listless bodies. And Felix knows if he doesn’t fuck you now, he might finish at the sight of you alone, your cheeks flushed a dark shade of pink and your cunt arching desperately into him as you wait for him to undress. So he does- one hand finds the elastic waistband of his black boxers, pulling them over his cock and wincing as it grazes against the precum dribbling down his tip. You run your hands over his toned abs, letting your eyes meet his cock as it protrudes so eagerly for you, and it looks almost painful how hard he is for you, reddening at the tip and dripping with beads of his preemptive arousal.
Felix leans in to kiss you again, and as he does, the bare flesh of his cock finally grazes your clit, running smoothly over your arousal and making you clench around nothing. You gasp at the sensation, scooting closer to him as your clit finally gets some attention from him, and Felix smiles as he trails his kisses down to your neck. While he sucks little bruises along the flesh there, he brings a slender hand around the base of his cock, guiding his tip back to your clit and rubbing his length along your flesh with more pressure now, a fervent moan escaping your lips as he does. He glides so effortlessly along you, your arousal allowing him to move so freely against you, still eager for him to fill you up. And when his lips move back up to yours, his hand guides his tip back and forth again, now rubbing against your clit in steady motions. He mimics the way his fingers stimulate you, only it’s better like this, your cunt contracting as you prepare to take his length.
“Felix,” you whine, as his cock rubs back and forth over your wettened entrance.
“What is it?” He coos gently, smiling into you as saliva dribbles between your hungry mouths.
“Put it in,” you order plainly, parting your legs a little further to signify what it is you want so badly. And Felix already knows, pressing his tip into you just a mere centimeter to gauge your reaction, satisfied at the way you whimper and push yourself against him even further.
“Is this what you want?” Felix muses, holding his base to keep from sliding into you involuntarily.
“Yes,” you whine again, tangling your hands in his hair. “Just fuck me like you used to.”
And Felix feels his heartbeat quicken as the filthy memories grace his mind again, images of you exactly like this.
He says nothing, opting to end his teasing streak, as he finally steadies his hands on the sides of your waist and pushes into you, your sopping pussy taking him with complete ease. You let out a fervent moan at the feeling, your cunt clenching desperately around him as he works to bottom out inside of you and find his footing. His girth takes little to adjust to, but he’s long, taking a good minute or two until the base of his cock is disappearing inside of you and being coated in your arousal. Before even moving, his tip is grazing your cervix, the familiar feeling making your stomach turn with anticipation as you remember what it feels like.
Felix’s lips part in pleasure, his eyebrows arched up as he pulls out again and then thrusts just once, relishing in the way your pussy contracts around him again and takes him so perfectly. Your hands find purchase in his hair again, tangling in his ebony roots, as he pulls out a little, and then begins to move. His cock fills every inch of you so well, grazing every corner of your dripping cunt with such fullness, as his wet kisses work against your lips and coat your mouth in his needy saliva. Felix has always been a particularly vocal lover, you remember, as the room fills with his deep grunts and moans at every thrust. His fingers dig into your flesh, holding onto you with strength as your legs wrap around him to steady yourself and push him into you fully. Your bodies one again, your limbs tangled until it's discernible who is who atop the table like this. But when he slows his movements and kisses you tenderly, you don’t care about the implications, about the past or what this will mean for your future. All you care about is Felix inside of you like he used to be for most of your relationship, making up for all this wasted time as he fucks you and breathes heavy grunts into the shell of your ear.
“God, I missed this,” Felix breathes, his voice shaky as he continues to pump into you.
“Me too,” you moan back, lining his jaw with kisses as he moves a little faster.
“You used to let me take pictures of you,” Felix repeats for the second time this evening. “You remember? Used to touch yourself while I’d snap photos of you. God, the way your fingers would disappear into your tight little pussy. Had me begging to fuck you at the end of every session, baby.”
“I remember,” you voice back in labored breaths. “You’d fuck me so well. All you had to do was adjust that stupid lens and you had me dripping for you.”
“Fuck, baby,” Felix groans, shutting his eyes as he thrusts a little harder. “Gonna make me cum for you.”
“Yeah?” You echo, wrapping your legs a little tighter around him and crossing them at the ankles. “Will you fill me up like you used to?”
Felix nods as his eyes remain squeezed shut, the room teeming with the squelching sounds of his cock thrusting in and out of your cunt.
“Come on, baby,” you plead, one hand angling his face toward you to press repeated, chaste kisses to his lips. “Fill me up. I know you want to.”
“I do want to-”
“Cum for me,” you order, grazing your free hand over his abdomen and tracing little circles over his v-line.
And Felix’s cock twitches inside of you twice, signaling his nearing finish as he quickens his pace again, now fucking you with even more force and hitting your sensitive cervix with every thrust.
“I’ll let you take whatever pictures you want,” you say to him as you pull him close and nibble the lobe of his ear. “As long as you fuck me like this every time you’re finished.”
And the promise is all it takes for Felix to reach his orgasm, his cock twitching inside you once more before he spurts ropes of his warm cum inside of you, filling your cunt with copious amounts of his arousal for you and fucking every last drop back into you. Your pussy contracts at the sensation of his warm cum grazing your insides, reaching your finish, too, as he brings a hand to rub your clit through your release. The table below you is sticky with your juices as you steady your breathing, Felix bringing a hand around the base of his cock to pull out of you and rest limply against your pulsing, sore entrance.
The room around you is quiet again, the gentle buzz of the pendant lamp replacing your moans as you let your hands wrap around him and hold him in your embrace. Felix presses a series of tender kisses to your forehead as you remain, his slender hands moving strands of sweaty hair out of your forehead to replace them with his loving kisses.
And the record has run through all its seasons now, having ended several minutes ago, as the needle runs over the last groove in repetitive clicking sounds, an indication to flip it over.
*
A precious town once set ablaze. 4:00pm. Spring on the horizon.
“To have hysteria or mania. 7 letters.”
Felix thinks for a moment, his eyes darting up to the ceiling and then back to where Yena is sat across from him.
“Madness?”
She glances over the crossword puzzle once, counting empty little boxes, and then begins to pen in his answer.
“How are you so good at this?” Yena asks, shaking her head. “You could be on a crossword puzzle reality show. If that exists.”
He chuckles lightly, observing as Yena checks her watch, and then shuts the book in front of her.
“My break is almost done,” she says as you chew on a French fry. “I’m gonna catch the bathroom really quick. You guys need anything?”
“I’m good,” you chime in, and Felix shakes his head from across you.
“Thank you,” he says politely, shooting her a little smile as she slides out of the booth and back toward the kitchen.
Felix’s gaze turns back to you now, a smile on his face as you nibble the remainder of the french fry, cocking your head at his curious gaze. He doesn’t say anything, but you feel his sneaker glide gently up your ankle, grazing your bare skin with the sole of his shoe and shooting you a knowing smile.
“Felix, not here,” you say, pushing him away gently with your own shoe and letting your soles rest atop his laces.
“That’s not what you said this morning,” Felix says, swirling half-melted cubes of ice around in his glass of water.
“Harder Felix, harder!” He mimics quietly in a high-pitched voice, as he brings his glass up to his lips and takes a generous sip.
You stomp on his laces as he chuckles between sips of water, dribbling a stream from his lips when you kick him lightly in his ankles.
Don’t fuck your exes.
Advice that anyone with half a brain would give you- and advice you really should’ve taken to heart. But you can’t help it, finding yourself between the sheets with Felix nearly every night for the past two weeks, his lips all over yours and pleasuring you better than you’d ever remembered it. You tell yourself you’re just making up for lost time, both of you still young and naive, all of this over once he actually leaves for college again. He stayed for Christmas, gifting you a new pair of canvas sneakers and fucking you while reruns of Christmas rom-coms played in the background of your apartment. He was your New Year’s kiss at Seungmin’s party, where you swore again that the two of you weren’t dating, forcing you to press your lips to his only when you were sure the others weren’t paying attention at the drop of the ball. And when you’re not picking up shifts at the record shop, you’re with him every waking second of the day, keeping Yena company during her shifts as you feign your giddy attraction to him while she’s not looking.
We’re not dating, you’ve emphasized to Felix several times, and he doesn’t fight it, giving you a knowing nod as he utters a repetitive yeah, yeah. But it’s mostly because he knows you can’t say no to him, not when he’s bringing you slices of pie at work and burning CDs with all his favorite songs for you, slipping them into your bag without you even noticing until you’re home again. Of course there’s the physical factor, too- Felix is undoubtedly your best sexual partner, and he always has been. He’s quick to recognize when you’re aroused, slipping away with you in the backseat of his car to pleasure you, without any protest from you. He’s also understanding of all your intimate moments together, not fighting it when you remind him this is just temporary, all while he’s thrusting into you on the back room table of the record shop at late hours of the night. He just smiles against your bruised skin, reminding you that you have yet to push him away yet. And when he’s holding you in the gentle embrace of your afterglow, pressing kisses to your skin and reminding you how beautiful he’s always thought you are, he’s right- you don’t push him away from any of it. Maybe it’s the physical factor, maybe it’s little acts of service he performs to win you over. And perhaps it’s also because you don’t feel so lonely for once- the last time he was beside you like this, you still had a family, one that loved Felix like their own and encouraged this shared life with him. You still had dreams of being something bigger, aspirations while you were in school and visions of a life with Felix, because back then, he was always a part of your plan. And though things are different now, his beaming smile and lighthearted jokes serve as a reminder of a simpler time, and it feels right. So you don’t push him away- it’s a secret kept between the two of you, but he’s here with you, regardless.
“Will you let me take some photos of you today? ” Felix inquires, flipping through the book of crossword puzzles left on the table by Yena. You watch as he adjusts the familiar fleur de lis ring on his finger before uncapping a pen and filling in one of the words.
“I have an early shift tomorrow,” you reply, toying with the crumpled straw wrapper in front of you.
“I won’t be long,” Felix retorts.
“I know, Felix, but I have to get up really early tomorrow and I-”
“Let me take you out,” Felix says, not looking up from the crossword puzzle in front of him. “Just tell me where.”
You sigh, scanning the empty tables around the diner. There are only a handful of guests at this hour, most of them elderly folk chatting quietly amongst themselves. A slow jazz tune plays overhead, and sunlight beams through the large window beside you as Felix finishes penning in an answer, shutting the book again and folding his hands in front of him to meet your gaze.
“I have something for you,” Felix adds.
“You don’t have to buy me gifts, Felix.”
“I’m aware. But this one’s special for me, too.”
“What is it?”’you ask, a growing curiosity at his words.
“I don’t have it with me. You’ll have to let me give it to you later today.”
You sigh, crossing your arms in front of you and rolling your eyes sarcastically. He’s always known how to get exactly what he wants.
“Just this one time,” you reply, knowing you sound like a broken record at how many times you’ve sworn it to be just one more time.
“Just this one time,” Felix echoes, toying again with the ring on his finger.
And you nod reluctantly, agreeing to whatever he’s planned, for the purpose of pleasing him and because you’re unable to decline.
As he flips open the book again, he uncaps the pen once more, picking up where he left off and reading the question aloud to you.
“A discussion aimed at reaching an agreement,” he voices, nibbling the cap of his pen again.
“Negotiation,” you say, observing the way a smile grows on his face as he pens in your answer.
“That’s it,” he says, gripping the pen enthusiastically as he crosses out the question.
And the sole of his shoe grazes your ankle again, trailing up your flesh teasingly as he moves onto the next.
*
“Where’s she going?” Felix queries, reaching into the bowl of popcorn in his lap to grab another mouthful.
“I don’t know,” you respond, chuckling at the way he shoves a generous portion into his mouth and chews loudly.
“Is she leaving him?” He says, pausing his chewing as the main lead in the movie makes a dramatic exit on screen.
“Felix, I’ve never seen this movie either,” you state, chuckling as he finally resumes his chewing and brushes stray kernels off his shirt.
He reaches into the bucket again, gathering a generous handful of popcorn, and then he sprawls his hand over your mouth, pushing the popcorn into your still-laughing mouth as he moves a little closer to you.
“You argue too much!” He says between giggles, throwing his head back as he watches you try to down the handful, failing as loose kernels find purchase on your shirt, too.
You reach out to shove him playfully, and Felix intertwines his hands with yours, pulling you onto his lap as the bucket of popcorn is promptly set aside and neglected.
He doesn’t even give you time to finish chewing before his lips are on yours, kissing you with such tenderness and warmth. It’s moments like these you find yourself glad he’s here with you, grateful for his unwavering persistence to account for lost time and make amends. Of course you also know he’ll be gone soon, back to university to proceed with his education while you tend to the record shop. And you’re undoubtedly a little sad about it- but you also know it’s the way things have panned out to be. Felix has blossomed into the bright young soul you always knew he was, filling the shoes of a generation of good-natured people that came before him. He’s generous, and unselfish in his ways, and a part of you knows that leaving him was the best thing that could’ve happened to both of you.
Was sleeping with him a mistake after all this time? You would’ve answered yes in a heartbeat, at the first instance it happened, feeling you might accidentally led Felix on and ruined things between the two of you. But the more it happened, the more it affirmed the beautiful notion that he’s just a fleeting part in this process of mending- your souls intertwining to relive memories of simpler times, connecting like they had when you once belonged together. He gives himself to you as a way of saying I’m still here, if you need me. And you give yourself to him to respond I know, and I’m still healing.
“You want your gift?” Felix asks as he pulls away, his hands grazing the small of your back.
“Depends,” you say with a small smile. “If it’s anything like your gift this morning, then yes.”
He chuckles softly, caressing the dimples in your lower back as he sits up and nods in the direction of the kitchen counter.
“I’ll go get it. Be right back.”
And you slide off of him, crossing your hands between your thighs as he exits the room, the soft-spoken dialogue of the movie still playing as he shuffles about in your apartment kitchen. When he returns, his hands are behind his back, a smile plastered on his face and his eyes forming little crescents as he approaches you.
“You have to close your eyes,” he says, kneeling down and sitting cross-legged in front of you. “And put out your hands.”
You oblige with an equally endeared smile, closing your eyes and cupping your hands in front of you. Felix seems to get something situated in front of you, and then you feel him place something small in the palm of your hand. It’s cold to the touch, no bigger than an inch, and he positions it so that it’s centered perfectly in your hand.
“Now open,” Felix finally says, pulling his hands back and folding them in his lap.
You do as you’re told, your eyes fluttering open again and your gaze falling into the palm of your hand. And your heart melts instantly at the sight-
It’s a ring- his ring, the silver fleur de lis one he always catches you staring at.
“I can’t take your ring,” you say, your wide eyes meeting the crescents of his eyes that remain as he grins.
He holds his hand up, flashing you his own fleur de lis, and wiggles his fingers to show it off.
“It’s not mine,” Felix says. “I got you your own.”
And you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes, doing your very best to pull back and avoid crying in front of him. But Felix takes notice at the way your face contorts sadly, scooting closer to you and taking your hands in his.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, his face full of concern as you examine the ring.
“Nothing,” you’re quick to respond, sniffling and rotating it between the pads of your fingers. “I just…”
Felix waits for you to answer, giving your hand a little squeeze as you struggle to find your words. He knows that verbalizing your feelings isn’t exactly your forte, giving you time to think over the action and speak when it feels right to you.
“Your ring,” you say with a soft chuckle. “It was a gift from my dad.”
His expression turns serious, holding up his index finger to rotate it around in front of you. “This one?” He inquires.
“Yeah,” you respond with a smile. “The one I gave you before we broke up. I know I’m not the best with my words, but I never got to say thank you. You stayed up with me the night they told us he was nearing the end. And again when my mom left. And somehow you found me in this shitty little town, and I like to think it’s so that I can properly thank you for everything. That’s why I wanted you to have the ring.”
Felix can’t properly reciprocate with a kiss while he’s sat below you like this, but he brings his lips forward to kiss your knee tenderly, staring up at you through innocent eyes and humming against your flesh.
“You were not alone,” he says, pressing another kiss. “You’re never alone. I would do it all over again.”
And you smile down at him, as he takes the ring from the palm of your hand and slides it onto your ring finger, an unspoken promise that he’s always going to be here to help build you up again, regardless of your reservations or your conditions. That just like this town lost itself so many years ago, there’s always a way to build things back up again, you just have to hold onto the hope that it’s possible.
“I love it,” you say, examining the way it sits around your fingers just like his does. And Felix doesn’t answer, pressing more kisses on the pads of your knees and using a hand to part your knees slightly. You take note of the way he keeps his eyes shut as he trails kisses, relishing in the way you give into his actions, laying back to part your knees and observing his eager state.
“Can I take a picture of you?” Felix asks shyly, his eyes darting over your visible crotch as your skirt rides up. You shoot him a little nod in response, gesturing for him to go get his camera, which he wastes no time doing, pulling it out of his black carrier bag and slinging it over his neck. Felix sits cross-legged in front of you again, watching intently as you flip your skirt up and let your fingers graze over your soaking panties. Your new ring glints in the dim glow of the overhead lamp, glistening as you rub your clit over the thin fabric of your underwear and stare into the lens of his camera.
Felix clicks a set of photos, his breath hitching in the back of his throat at the sight of you tugging on your panties and spreading even further for him. You make a big show of staring innocently into his lens, your eyebrows arched in curiosity as you toy with your waistband and tug it down a little further, your hips swaying a little as you struggle to pull it off entirely. And Felix takes note of your struggle, snapping one more photo of your desperate state and slinging the camera back off.
“Let me help you,” he says with an amused smile, placing the camera on the bag beside him and scooting closer to you. His hands loop themselves in the hem of your panties, keeping his gaze locked on your core as he pulls them down, being met instantly with the sweet aroma of your arousal and your glistening folds.
“Fuck,” Felix breathes, swallowing in anticipation at you spread for him.
You let yourself slouch back into the dip of the couch cushion, propping a leg up to give him a better view, and your hands graze over your breasts as you watch him struggle to comprehend the sight.
“Go on,” you order simply, biting your lip as his eyes widen when you knead your breast gently.
And Felix doesn’t spare another second, his hands finding purchase on your inner thighs, as he brings his face forward and licks a long stripe up your folds. His tongue is instantly coated in your arousal when he does, moaning at the taste of you as you writhe in pleasure below him and clamp your knees around his pretty face. He holds them open again, letting his tongue graze over your pulsing clit, before licking another stripe and then latching his lips around your bundle of nerves, pressing a chaste kiss before sucking harshly.
The room fills with your high-pitched moans, gasping for air and clutching desperately onto the fabric of the couch as he works you, alternating between sucking your clit between his teeth and grazing his tongue over your entrance. He darts his tongue into your sopping entrance to gather more of your arousal, spitting harshly onto your cunt and grazing it around your folds using his tongue. And the more you writhe desperately below him, the more his movements become ravenous, working you like a starved animal as he eats you out and pries your legs open.
“Felix,” you groan, reaching a hand out to push his face further into you. “Feels so fucking good.”
He smiles against you, responding with little kisses peppered on your inner thighs, before moving back to your clit and licking in harsh back and forth motions. Your cunt clenches around nothing, desperate for him to fill you, but not wanting him to halt the motion of pleasuring you with his tongue. And as his fingers graze along your thigh to pry you open again, you gasp when he brings the same hand to your clit and rubs vigorously.
Your body is shaking now, trembling with anticipation as you approach your orgasm. But Felix doesn’t stop to gauge your reactions at all- in fact, if you were to cum right now, he’d keep going at this pace regardless. He’s too fixated on the taste of your arousal in his mouth, the melodious moans you let out for him and the way you reach for nothing tangible as he works you.
As your head throws back in pure ecstasy, you feel his fingers move lower, and lower, until he’s grazing your entrance with his knuckles in a teasing motion. And before you can ask him to fuck you with them, he’s already inserting two fingers, increasing the pace of his tongue as he begins to thrust in and out of you. Your cunt contracts eagerly around his fingers, desperate for release now as he matches the rhythm of his tongue with his fingers, the room teeming with the sounds of your squelching pussy. As he pushes deeper into you, you feel his ring- the cold, stiff metal of your now matching rings, graze your entrance, sending a wave of pleasure over your trembling body. His fingers work in and out of you, the cold metal pressing itself on your clit as he bottoms out inside of you and moves his fingertips in quick come hither motions to stimulate you. Your abdomen contracts harshly with every thrust now, your clit throbbing as he traces it with his tongue and peppers it in hot, wet kisses.
“Felix, fuck, I’m- gonna cum for you,” you warn, your voice shaky as he moves even faster, showing no mercy with his movements as he groans against your exposed flush.
“Let go for me,” he commands plainly, his deep voice vibrating against your clit as he holds his tongue there. “Always give me such a fucking show, baby. Make a mess for me.” He speaks between kisses on your glistening folds, alternating between pouting his lips to make out with your cunt and let his tongue wag over your sensitive core.
As you feel his fingers thrust into you one last time, the cold metal of his ring gliding over your folds in its coat of arousal, your abdomen contracts over him, your cunt clenching in syncopation with your fervent moans as you finally let go and dribble your juices all over his freckled face. He wastes no time cleaning you up, lapping at your core to swallow your release and pepper your dampened flesh with tender kisses.
“Stay there,” Felix orders, reaching beside him as your eyes flutter shut in overstimulation. You lie completely listless, your limbs languid and heartbeat pulsing at a now slowing rate throughout your body.
Felix brings his camera up to you again, sitting up on his knees and snapping a photo of your wearied state, his eyes wide with lust as he admires the way your legs hang loosely at your sides. His lens adjusts to capture your parted lips and flushed cheeks, your hands tugging your skirt down again and the smile on your breathless lips when you open your eyes again.
Felix stands up now, approaching you with the camera and letting his slender fingers graze your lips.
“Suck,” he orders, inserting the same two fingers down your throat as his other hand positions the lens in front of you. And you oblige eagerly, your lips wrapping around his digits to suck your own arousal off of him, your tongue swirling around the salty metal of his ring to rid him of your juices.
His photos capture exactly that- your lips wrapped around his knuckles, the kisses you trail down his fingers and the way your tongue licks the perimeter of your matching jewelry clean.
When you’re finished, you release him with a gentle pop, Felix letting his camera hang loosely at his waist again and using his now free hand to tilt your head up to meet his gaze.
“So beautiful,” he says resolutely, bringing you up for a gentle kiss. “You were always such a good model for me.”
*
When you work an early shift, you make it a point to kick Felix out of your apartment no later than 9, or sometimes 10. You’re not staying the night, you’d explained as a non-negotiable condition, wanting to avoid the awkward antics that come with sleeping alongside each other and waking up in his arms. But tonight, you can’t seem to let go of him, letting his arms wrap you in their warm embrace as he presses kisses to your forehead and tells you stories of college that you weren’t around for.
“It was the worst group I ever had for a project,” Felix says in a chuckle. “I don’t know how I passed that course.”
“You should’ve requested a different group,” you say in a sleepy voice, smiling as you play the humorous tale in your head.
“I did!” He exclaims. “I don’t think the professor liked me enough to let me switch so late in the semester.”
“Well, you got through it,” you reply, letting your hand intertwine with his as your rings rub tenderly against each other. “I can’t say the same.”
Felix chuckles lightly, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand and letting your hands rest against each other. He thinks for a moment, and then rubs his thumb along your hand lovingly as he begins to speak again.
“I want to take so many photos of you in the spring. There’s this new lens I want to try.”
You pause briefly, opening your eyes to look at him, and then you cock your head slightly before responding.
“You won’t be here for the spring, Felix. You’ll be back at school.”
He swallows nervously, pondering your words, and then he exhales deeply before continuing.
“I don’t think college is for me, either.”
The words hit you like a truck the second they escape his lips- you sit up in bed to look at him, releasing his hand from yours and furrowing your brows together.
“What?”
“I’ve been meaning to tell you, I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I want to stay here, with you.”
“No, you don’t,” you’re quick to say, shaking your head.
“I do,” Felix admits sheepishly. “Everything makes sense here. Being with you, the town, the people- I think I’m meant to be here, too.”
“No, you’re not,” you say, pulling away from him even further as he sits up now, too. “Felix- this isn’t your life. You need to go back to school, and pick a major and live your life.”
“I don’t want those things,” Felix responds frustratedly. “I want you. I want this town. I don’t care if you don’t want to date, I’ll stay by your side regardless. I can’t just leave you.”
“You can, and you will.”
Felix narrows his eyes, anger quickly overtaking him as his face flushes a dark shade of red.
“So you’re allowed to and I’m just not? Who are you to dictate what I do with my life?”
“This is the life I made for myself,” you reply, exasperated. “It’s not some soul-searching pit stop like it is for you.”
“Maybe it’s not for me, either.”
You’re entirely off the bed now, your hands making angry gestures as you try to verbalize your feelings toward him, Felix’s voice growing increasingly irate as you attempt to.
“You know why I left you in the first place?” You question. “Because I was dragging you down. You had everything- a family, a future and a girlfriend who didn’t quite have things made the way you do. No one even understood why we were together, Felix. I’m not gonna drag you down a second time just because we had sex a couple times.”
“Is that all this is to you?” Felix inquires angrily. “Just sex? It doesn’t seem that way when you’re all over me at Seungmin’s parties calling me your ‘best friend’. That doesn’t sound like just sex to me-”
“You are my best friend,” you interrupt frustratedly, tears falling from your eyes now as you try to make him listen.
“You are my best friend, and I don’t want this life for you. The night I left you, my dad was moved to hospice, and my mom decided she wanted nothing to do with it. I knew you’d be wasting the best years of your life taking care of me, staying by my side like the good person you are, but that it would get in the way of college and your life. It wasn’t easy for me to do, Felix, breaking up with you and getting as far away from you as possible before I could change my mind. But you have a life outside of me, and I need you to go be that person still.”
Felix says nothing in response for several minutes, his eyes welling with tears, too, as you wipe your eyes with your inner wrists and avert his gaze. You hate when Felix sees you cry- it’s embarrassing, and it feels shameful. It feels the way it did when Felix skipped classes to be with you, neglected studying for his exams to hold you as you cried, rain checked his own family to be with yours and dragged you to every house party, so that he could fuck your sadness away in an environment that wasn’t a hospital bathroom or your childhood room.
“How dare you imply the time I spent with you was wasted,” he scoffs, his lip quivering as he wipes his own eyes. “You were my life, outside of all of this. And you still are, and you’re so stubborn in doing that thing where you don’t let yourself feel.”
You watch as Felix gathers his camera, stuffing it back into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.
“You said you’re somewhere between the fire and the mending. But you don’t talk about the fire. You just shut it out like you do with everything else.”
He pivots on his heel, making his way toward the door and walking with loud, purposeful strides. You begin to say something, quickly swallowing your words again as he reaches for the doorknob and turns it slowly. Felix pauses momentarily, hoping you’ll ask him to stay, apologize, forgive- anything, any sort of indication that this is what you want, too. But as the door opens, your silence is answer enough for him.
“No one could have prevented the fire,” Felix says before leaving, echoing the words you told him so long ago. “You can pick up, and move on, but it still happened. And just because things burned, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to thrive again.”
Without another word from you, he’s disappearing out your front door, his camera bag swaying on his side as he marches out the building and back to his car.
And you feel yourself begin to cry, your heart contracting painfully in your chest, a pit forming in your stomach as you witness him walk out of your life again. The flames burn inside of you all over again, turning organ to ash as you wipe your never-ending tears and slam the door behind him. It’s akin to when your mother left, when your dad passed and when you left Felix the first time. It’s overwhelming, it consumes you whole, your entire figure trembling as you fail to extinguish the flames. The phenomenon begs the question- had the fire ever really stopped? Were you ever in the process of mending if not wailing like this, your vulnerability on display for the world to see as your walls are finally let down? Is this what it means to feel?
*
There are few people in this world who have seen you cry. Your mom, one of them, when you begged her to stay. Your dad, another, when you held his hand through his last breath. Felix, the third, several times throughout your relationship with him.
And the folks in this town- never. Not once have they witnessed you wail the way Felix has, tears brimming your eyes as you fail to keep your emotions at bay, mucus trickling down to your lips in an inelegant manner as you cry, and cry and cry.
“You want some coffee?” Chris asks awkwardly, scratching the back of his head as he watches you bury your face in the sleeves of your sweatshirt.
“No.”
“Yena should be here any minute,” he adds, his voice softening as he watches you lift your head to give him a nod.
“Hang in there, kiddo,” Chris finishes, rubbing your back in small circles and giving you a gentle pat.
As you rest your chin in your hands, a pounding headache overtaking your whole being, a knock at the front door catches your attention. It’s Yena, a hood thrown over her head as she balances a tupperware container in her hands and peers through the window. Chris gives her a knowing look, making his way to the door and unlocking it for her.
“Hey,” Yena says softly as she enters, setting down a slice of pie in front of you and taking a seat on the stool beside you. “You okay?”
You sniffle once, shaking your head sorrowfully as she awaits your explanation. But nothing is verbalized yet, and for a good few minutes, all you can do is cry.
Yena wraps you in her loving embrace, letting your tears stain the shoulder of her hoodie, as Chris shrugs from behind you and delivers reassuring pats to your back. They’re just as confused as each other, awaiting a reason or some story, but you can’t bring yourself to vocalize your thoughts, especially when you’re a crying mess like this. Chris finally ushers Yena to say something, and she does, albeit reluctantly.
“You know, just between us, I think he’s a little dorky, anyway. It’s his loss if he can’t see what he’s missing.”
And to their surprise, you chuckle lightly, still wiping tears with the corners of your sweatshirt.
“What?” You question, a soft hiccup escaping your lips as you speak. Yena furrows her brows, together shooting a questioning look to Chris, who shrugs in response.
“Is this… not about Felix?” She queries hesitantly.
“It is,” you emphasize, another giggle escaping your lips. “But it’s not that he’s not interested. We used to date, Yena.”
At this, Yena reaches around to swat Chris’ shoulder, pursing her lips together as she speaks again. “I knew something was up,” she voices, swatting Chris again. “Christopher over here was convinced he was too into you.”
“You guys talked about it?” You add, giggling softly into the sleeve of your sweater.
“It was hard not to,” Yena responded, giving you an empathetic look. “The way you guys light up a room when you’re together, it’s like winter turns to spring or something. I was so certain he was the one.”
At this, more tears escape the corners of your eyes, falling onto the counter below you as you nod slowly in regards to her words.
“I love him,” you finally say, and the room goes silent when you do.
“I love him, and he deserves better than me. Than this,” you finish, gesturing around you to the town. “He wants to drop out of college and stay here. Like that’s a good idea for anyone except me.”
Yena and Chris give each other staggered looks, unsure of what to reply to first. They’ve never heard you speak of your emotions like this, never seen you cry and never would’ve guessed that you would let down your guard to this degree around them. It’s a little frightening, at first, to watch you tear down your own walls so much, like watching a different person than the one they’ve known for all these years. But it’s also reassuring to see that you are capable of letting yourself open up for the right people. It takes a weight off their shoulders to bear witness to the confirmation that they’re the people you can go to when you need help, the same way they don’t hesitate to lean on you. And it especially gives solace to know that you feel so deeply at all, a trait Yena and Chris have always pushed you to familiarize yourself with.
“Well what’s stopping you?” Yena asks, threading her fingers in your hair and combing it back like your mother used to.
“Exactly that,” you respond. “I don’t want to confine him to this life of mine.”
“Let me ask you something,” Yena states, taking your hands in hers and bringing your gaze up to meet hers. “Are you happy?”
And the question throws you off guard, requiring a moment to think before you can say anything in response. It’s a fair question, too- one you should’ve asked yourself when you agreed to move here years ago. But it’s not a difficult one to crack, either, when you take in your surroundings. The diner across the street is packed with patrons, happily sipping away at milkshakes and glass bottles of soda. This old record shop, with its dingy back room and rows of genres you make an effort to learn about whenever you get a chance. The starlings that flock when the train travels through, the holiday parties you find a home in and your favorite spot on the hill, overlooking all of Ember. They’re all working parts of one larger phenomenon- that of happiness.
“Yeah,” you reply, nodding to affirm your answer. “I love it here. And I love you guys, and I’m still healing most days, but I wouldn’t want to be doing it anywhere else.”
A smile grows on Yena’s face as she glances back between you and Chris, and he shoots her a little nod.
“Then do something about it,” she finally says, giving your hands a little squeeze. “The first step is letting yourself feel. The rest is up to you to run with.”
And when you meet her gaze, and Chris’ gaze, their loving expressions looking down at you like you’re one of their own, you can’t help but pull them into a hug, letting yourself cry a little harder at the prospect of your found family, these tears ones of happiness.
“I love you guys,” you voice confidently. “And I’m sorry if I’ve never said it out loud.”
Chris’ hand pats your back, Yena’s combing through your hair tenderly, as they hug you with equal enthusiasm and allow you to cry as long as you need.
“We love you, kid,” Chris answers.
And when you pull away again, the three of you laugh, your tears staining your reddened faces as you bask in this unconditional appreciation for one another.
“Eat your pie,” Yena says, shoving a fork toward you. “And Chris, play some music, will you?”
Chris salutes her, pulling a random record off the shelf and scanning its contents.
“Polish folk?” He questions, and you glance at the familiar cover of the record, the same couple dipping into a bow as they dance in their colorful fabrics.
“This one’s really good,” you chime in, taking a bite of cherry pie as you nod toward the record player. “We should dance to this one.”
And as Chris starts the upbeat music, pulling Yena in for a comedic waltz, you can’t help but laugh through your tears, at the home this town’s given you in all your mending.
*
Felix hasn’t been at the record shop since your fight. He hasn’t been at your apartment, nor the diner, or even Seungmin’s place (and yes, you did ask). There’s only one place you know Felix would flock to after a night like the one you shared, and if you’re lucky, you should still be able to catch him on his supposed last night here.
The grassy hill is a little slippery at this hour, caked mud enwreathing your sneakers as you trudge your way up the hill and into the familiar dip of the land. And as the horizon becomes visible to you, spanning the length of the town and showcasing all the bright lights the nighttime flaunts, so does Felix, sitting with his back to you in a plain white t-shirt and jeans. He looks more casual tonight, less dressed with the intention to look a specific way, and you can’t help but smile at the sight of his slim frame taking in the view you led him to. He leans back on his hands, eyes scanning the sight of the town, before picking up his camera and snapping a series of photos.
When you occupy the spot next to him, he glances over at you briefly, before turning his attention back to the camera and waiting for you to speak.
“It’s prettier at night, isn’t it?,” you finally say, breaking the silence, and Felix fixes his gaze on the blurry lights of the record shop.
“Yeah,” he responds curtly, swallowing nervously as he ponders what to say.
And you know if you let him facilitate this conversation, it’d be over much sooner rather than later, but you also know that it’s up to you to make amends now.
“Your photography is still so beautiful,” you state, gesturing to the camera in his hands. “It’s always been so artistic.”
Felix remains quiet, toying with the strap on his camera as you speak.
“You’re artistic,” you continue. “And that’s why I want you to finish college. Don’t throw all this away for me.”
He turns his face to meet your gaze, his eyes trembling a little as you give him an empathetic look and shrug.
“I don’t want to go where you won’t follow,” Felix says, his voice coming out a little shaky.
“But I’ll always be here,” you retort, tears beginning to prick the corners of your eyes again. “Don’t put your life on hold for something that already lives in your past. You are an incredible person, Felix, and I’m not gonna drag you down a second time.”
Felix thinks for a moment, swallowing a lump in his throat as he thinks over your words. And he knows that there’s a possibility this isn’t what he wants, either- to stay in this little town with your friends he’s not even sure like him very much. But he does know he wants you, and that staying here would mean sacrificing his old life.
“I want you to know it wasn’t your fault,” Felix says after a brief pause of silence. “Nobody who walked out deserved you. And your dad loved you- a lot. I think about that moment watching the sunrise with you every day. He’s there too, part of that memory tucked away in my mind. I’m sorry it happened so suddenly and disrupted things. I just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy, Felix,” you tell him, chuckling lightly as you respond. “I have a whole family here. I don’t spend my holidays alone, I meet new people working at the shop everyday. There’s so many people I haven’t introduced you to. There are coffee shops, and parades on weekends, and I’m happy. I’m still healing, but I’ve also realized that being healed doesn’t equate my happiness. I can be one without the other, and still get by just fine.”
Felix’s gaze is fixed on yours for a moment, not saying anything as he lets your words circle his mind. And there’s so much he wants to say in response, so many questions about what the future means for you both, but he also knows very well that the rest is up to him to figure out, just the way you did when you moved out here. Maybe you’re still healing- and maybe Felix is still figuring out the rest for himself, too. And though the past may be clouded by a story much more complex than either of you can even begin to comprehend, the happiness you seek is attainable, whether or not you’re together to see it through to the end. That although sometimes things may burn and decay like this town once did, there are people who will make the journey to help in the process of rebuilding, and you can thrive again. You can always thrive again.
“You’re right,” Felix says, as he looks over the horizon again. “It is prettier at night.”
The dim glow of the streetlights contrasts the flashy signs of the diner and the record shop, painting the blackened town with vivid color and bringing life to the small town of Ember.
And with a half smile, Felix pulls you in for a tender kiss, the two of you letting your apologies flow through each other in the gentle embrace of your lips and your hands intertwining atop the grassy hill.
Felix pulls you close, letting your head rest comfortably against his chest, as he caresses your hand softly in the grasp of his. And his index finger rubs lovingly against your ring finger, your matching rings grazing against each other as if to say I’ve always loved you.
*
Small town at the edge of the world. No particular time of day. A blossoming summer.
If you told the average person to shut their eyes and think of their favorite city, they’d probably conjure up a lengthy description about the booming skyscrapers, the bumper-to-bumper traffic, the fancy restaurants and the well-kept people. Point it out on a map, you’d tell them, and their finger would land in the heart of the amorphous blob of whatever state they’ve chosen.
Now move your finger to the right- keep going, and going, and don’t stop until you’re almost off the map entirely. There will be no major indicators, no colorful dots on this area of the map. You might miss it, in fact, if you shoot too far.
That’s the small town of Ember. A town Felix holds very close to his heart. And one you call home.
The cicadas buzz with high-pitched melodies of summer as you slip your sneakers on, the piercing blue sky around you almost too bright to look directly in its face. The clouds seem to shift with the summer breeze, drifting along the canvas sky like a painting in motion as you take in the sight around you
“Let’s go!” Yena calls, honking her horn twice to signify her arrival.
“I’m coming!” You call back, making your way down the stairs of her porch, balancing trays of food in hand as you account for everything you’ve agreed to bring. Drinks, plates, pie, napkins- your signature arrangement for the town’s summer festival you attend alongside Chris and Yena every year.
“Slow down, kiddo,” Chris says with a chuckle, as you rush to place everything in the backseat. “Oh, and there’s a letter for you on the porch table,” he adds, shooting you a small wink.
“I’ll be right back!” you call to Yena, jogging back up the stairs to collect the little beige envelope that rests atop the wooden surface.
It’s addressed to you, the handwriting in neat swirly black cursive letters, the envelope feeling sturdy between your fingers. You tear it open with no real aim, a giant gash working down the envelope as you rush you pull out the contents and examine them.
It’s a stack of photos, you quickly realize, sorting through them to make out the glossy digital prints.
There’s a photo of you in the back of the record shop, your hands brought up to your face and your legs hanging lazily off the table. Another showcases you in the familiar beige interior of the passenger’s seat, laughing cheerfully and staring out the window. There are photos of the town’s horizon, photos of the record player at your work, Yena’s famous pie, Seungmin’s holiday party and even the matching rings, intertwined hands that rest on the car console. As you shuffle to the last photo, you recognize it to be much more recent than the others, even the quality looking clearer, perhaps a new camera or a different roll of film.
It’s a still photo of Felix, from the waist up, holding a peace sign up to the lens with a small smile. He’s dressed brightly in a white vest and layered jewelry, the background showcasing a blue harbor with rows of boats, the location indistinguishable to you. He’s blonde again, his now shorter golden tresses framing the myriad of freckles that scatter his face once more. And he looks happy, much like himself again.
You wonder briefly who took the photo of him, the angle being of very close proximity. And you can’t make out which hand usually houses the ring you both wear, the only hand visible to you covering his ring finger, regardless. You scan the photo for a moment, running your fingertips over his figure, before turning it over and reading the neatly scribbled text on the back:
Sydney, last fall. I think I’m the only photography major who doesn’t drink my coffee without sugar. And you were right, the freckles do suit me better.
All my love,
Felix.
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azullumi · 5 months
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“it’s a quarter after one, i’m all alone, and i need you now” ; wanderer
summary — how does he react to you calling him in the middle of the night over some silly reason?
pairing — wanderer (w/gender-neutral reader)
tags — fluff, established relationship, modern settings, not proof-read (i never proof-read) ; ficlet/scenario
words — 760
note — how do people even write dialogues rhat smoothly like i write a single sentencd of whatever they’re saying and i just think, “oh no they won’t say that” and i have to rewrite it 5 more times
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a loud sound of a ring echoes throughout the room, disrupting the peaceful flow of tranquil silence that rests in the corners of the place, and abruptly pulling him out of his sleep. wanderer groans, hand reaching out to grab his phone that sits on the nightstand.
the flash of the screen blinded him for a moment, causing him to squint his eyes until his vision adjusted to the brightness.
1:15. the numbers on the very top of his screen says. displayed along with it was your caller id, your contact saved as a nickname that he gave you.
although he didn’t have to question who was calling him at this time as he knew it was you—you were the only exception to his do not disturb focus of his phone, the only contact whose notifications can go through the strict barriers of the status.
the persistent melody continues to ring for a moment before he answers, “this better be important.” despite the nature of his words, there lingered no hint of malice in his tone but instead, a curious blend of weary patience and unspoken understanding. he didn’t mind you bothering him even if it’s nothing important—your intrusion was always a welcome one.
“hey, were you sleeping?”
“not anymore, obviously. what is it?” the line carried the subtle rustle of movement, the telltale sound of rustled sheets, as wanderer shifted and sat upright from where he was, his head resting against the headboard as he waited for you to answer.
“can you accompany me as i go get water?”
a confused ‘huh?’ comes out from his line. just the single syllable itself wrapped with layers of many words, asking you if you were seriously saying that. if you really called him at this time just so you could have him accompany you with the mundane task of getting water.
“i just watched something scary, okay? it’s not my
fault that the house in the movie looked similar to mine and also do you know what time—don’t laugh!”
“are you genuinely afraid over something as trivial as that?” wanderer says amidst the fading echoes of his laughter, leaving a ghost of what might pass for a smile on his expression. he seems amused over the predicament that you were having; that is just like him, finding entertainment in your suffering.
“whatever, i’m going to go get my water now.” what proceeded was the sound of your footsteps, indicating your journey to the kitchen. “don’t you dare hang up on me.”
“i wasn’t planning to.”
and as if i would. but the unspoken words dissolved on his throat before he could even get himself to say it, leaving him with nothing but silence as he listened to your voice instead, talking about whatever as if a soothing balm that eases the fear which nestles in your nerves.
“i saw this cat earlier this morning and it was so grumpy. it reminded me of you.”
“you think that in every grumpy cat that you see.”
“well, you act like one.”
in that moment, the simple act of conversing between you two becomes a lifeline, bridging the gap between fear and solace. your topics jumped from one point to another, never letting the silence fill in the moment—wanderer never ceases to respond to whatever you say, a testament of how he’s always there for you despite the playful teasing sprinkled throughout.
there was the sound of the door closing before he hears you say: “got my water now.”
“figured.”
silence envelopes both sides of the line, albeit, it only lasted for a short moment before being broken up by your voice.
“thanks for picking up the phone.” i mean, he could have chosen to just ignore the ring and continue to sleep but no, he didn’t. instead, he chose to answer and comply with your silly little request because your ass was too scared to go out of your room in the middle of the night, thinking that someone or something was going to come after and chase you just like that one scene in what you watched. he stayed with you all throughout, letting the comfort of his voice dispel the shadows that threatened to linger—even when he was scaring you and telling you that he can hear something.
“not like i don’t answer every time.” you could call him, ring his phone many times no matter what time it is, and he would pick up the phone every single time; that’s just how he is, for you and only you.
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© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.
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junicult · 11 months
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What do you think the bachelors prefer more, Ass or Tits? I'm just curious what you think
!! which bachelors prefer your boobs / ass
contains ; nsfw! reader is implied to have a curvier body. some smut. some fluff. fem!farmer. the words boobs & butt are used. (1) mention of f!receiving oral. not proofread / probably missing some tags.
note ; ahh, the age old question.
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harvey.
- he couldn’t care less what you have under your clothes.
- that being said…boobs.
- during sex, in general he doesn’t really like when he can’t see you / your face.
- doggy style isn’t his favorite, not because it doesn’t feel good but because it doesn’t feel like he’s focused on you. he wants to see you, he doesn’t like the way it makes him feel like he’s not having sex with you.
- he’s already a big fan of missionary. he loves when he can really be in the moment w you.
- …and ur boobs just so happen to be right in front of him.
- the soft bounce, how they fit in his palms, and overall just how they look. he likes them, okay🤷‍♀️
- he’s never outright said it, though. if u asked he might but i doubt it.
- he doesn’t want to objectify you like that. it’s not like he looks at you and thinks how much better your tits look then anything else.
- it’s just obvious.
- wear a low cut shirt and his eyes might wander. i’m just saying.
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sam.
- i literally can’t decide. i’m serious i have no idea.
- i just love the thought of him being obsessed with you (like a good husband should) so even if he was asked the question, he couldn’t answer!!!
- “hey babe, do you like my tits or ass more?” and he’ll ponder on it like you asked him what the meaning of life was.
- he loves your boobs because they’re soft, he likes resting his head on them, and holding them under your shirt whenever you lay together (yes he does that).
- he loves your butt because…well it looks nice. he likes looking at it lmfao.
- it’s just as soft and fits nice in his hands when he pulls you in to kiss you sometimes.
- it’d be funny if you actually asked him, cus he’d still be thinking about it hours later.
- ur laying in bed together, his cheek is resting on your chest and he’ll just mumble, “i think your boobs might be the answer.”
- and if u bend over in front of him to pick up something on the floor, he’ll just sigh and say, “maybe it’s your butt…?”
- like MOVE ON!! IT’S BEEN DAYS😭😭😭
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shane.
- might be controversial…but boobs.
- he loves ur boobs, and all for the previously stated reasons.
- he’s a little more openly a pervert then anyone else💀
- he’ll stare at ur boobs mid conversation, and will just look up at you like nothing happened.
- lol if u guys were arguing or something, and you catch him looking, you’ll just stop and say, “i’m sorry, were they saying something?”
- he just chuckles, “yeah, i think they were agreeing with you.”
- he knows time and place tho. if the argument is more of a fight, he doesn’t have time to stare💀💀
- he also loves the way they feel, how soft they are when he squeezes them.
- and in general your tits can easily get him hard if that’s your goal.
- he likes to bite them, suck on them, squeeze them, fuck them. they’re pretty & he enjoys feeling them up.
- don’t even get me started on when u wear jewelry that dangles right into your cleavage.
- he’s way too horny to just ignore it.
- needless to say, you’ve given him a titjob before 😇
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sebastian.
- he’ll never admit it.
- and he definitely loves both, i promise.
- it’s a close second…but i think he likes ur ass more.
- in general, i don’t think he actually dwells on that stuff. he thinks it’s silly, and stupid because he loves you no matter what you have.
- i don’t even think he’s ever even given it in-deep thought.
- if we’re talking non-sexual, he might prefer your boobs only because they’re so versatile 😊
- he’s just like any other guy: he wants to lay between them with your arms wrapped around him while he naps.
- he’ll hold them while you spoon. he’s no different then anyone else.
- but when he’s horny, and he’s looking at your body sexually, he might like your ass a bit more.
- it’s sorta obvious in the way he’ll get hard so quickly if you turn around to take off ur pants in front of him lmfao.
- he runs on auto pilot when ur ass is in front of him, i’m just sayin.
- he’ll definitely want to squeeze it, especially when you’re sitting on his lap.
- or when he’s fucking you from behind, he’s addicted to the way you arch into him, and the way your skin ripples when his hips slam into yours.
- he’s pretty lanky, & something abt ur phat ass just drowning him makes him a little excited. i’ll say it.
- if you ever asked, he’d probably just say, “i dunno, i like them both.”
- and if you told him you think he likes ur ass more, he’ll just shrug and say, “i guess so.”
- he really doesn’t gaf.
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alex.
- ughhhhh
- i feel like this one kinda depends on whichever you have more of.
- he’s not a pig (anymore.) it’s not like he’s married to you because of your cup size.
- he likes all of you, not just your body.
- he’s also not picky!! i’m just saying, if his ex had larger boobs when you have a larger ass—that literally means nothing to him.
- it’s your boobs and your ass that sexually attracts him. not anyone else’s.
- and also, if you don’t have larger boobs or a larger ass, he doesn’t care either.
- he’ll still smack your ass if you walk past him, and eye ur tits in a tank top.
- if u have larger boobs, he’s definitely wanting to moterboat them😭😭😭
- he likes to hold them, press them together and squeeze them whenever u give him the chance.
- he acts like they’re the first pair of tits he’s ever seen.
- and if your ass is larger, dw, he’s unrelenting.
- his hands will always wander whenever you give him even just a quick kiss.
- he’ll give it a little squeeze and grin at you like he didn’t.
- …he’ll eat u out from the back just so ur ass is in his face🫣
- but the thing is, no matter what you have larger or less of, he’s still doing all of these things 😭
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elliot.
- is there a third option?
- i’m not abt to say personality, bc obviously all of these men love your personality. they’re grown adults, they’re not married to u bc of ur body.
- if we bring thighs into the mix, then i might have to rewrite some things (sdv men love thighs it’s canon.)
- it’s impossible to tell if he actually did have a preference because of the way he treats you so delicately.
- like, if he did prefer your ass, all you would have to show for it was when his hand would already be resting on your lower back, before he moved to just cup one of your cheeks (lol)
- or your boobs, when he’d gently kiss over your heart as a sign of affection.
- if we’re heading towards sexual, i still think he doesn’t have a favorites
- he does everything in his power to show every bit of you as much love as he can.
- you’re perfect to him, and he wants you to know that.
- he doesn’t wanna potentially make you insecure if you know he prefers your boobs, which you have less of then your ass, or vise versa.
- he loves all of you, and he’ll absolutely prove it.
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psa: pls take this lightheartedly, i don’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings. it’s all in good fun!!
880 notes · View notes
kalimarinu · 23 days
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offerings from the unnamed.
[ summary : a mystery person is leaving gifts for 141? ]
[ relationships : tf141 x gn!reader (platonic) ]
[ warnings : 3rd person & 2nd-ish pov , gn reader 🤍 , use of y/n (your name) & c/n (codename/callsign) , unedited & not proofread , i know nothing about the military once again ]
[ word count : 2,392 ]
[ notes : back after another long while , yeah!!! this was fun <3 i can't believe this is 2k words what ?!@?!>@/ that's longer than my previous fic & this was just like a spitball idk..., also the 141 might just have memory loss why is everyone forgetting everything!! (y'all idk why i got so into it w gaz and price's section like why is it so long and soap and ghost's are so short???. but more the merrier, right...?) ]
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John Price:
he was pretty surprised at first, he did not expect to see a bouquet of roses on his desk. though, he doesn't question it? 
—until he walks up closer to examine the flowers, just to see a little tag with a note on it that reads: 'for my favorite captain. -a/n.'
now he's a little confused. could it be one of his sergeants? his lieutenant? hell, it could be so many other people.
the only hint is the handwriting. he swears he can recognize it. 
but suddenly price reminds himself he actually has work, so never mind the flowers, for now, he needs to get back to doing his paperwork and such. 
as he works away and whatnot, the thought of the roses is lingering in the back of his mind and slowly creeping up to the front, and he can't seem to ignore the questions.
"why roses?" "whose handwriting is that? i swear i know it." "for me? why not anybody else?"
he's utterly perplexed at this point, so he quickly finishes up whatever he needs to do and turns to the bouquet he left sitting on the other side of the desk long ago.
after many, many minutes of just trying to grasp the mysterious person whose handwriting looks the same as on the tag, he gives up.
gives up on trying to figure out this anonymous roses bullshit by himself, anyway. the captain goes to his two closest buddies, unsurprisingly nikolai and laswell.
he questions them, he tells them everything. to the point he walked through the door and saw the bouquet and to the point where he was now asking them for 'help'. but it just ends up being just a lot more questions and inevitably no answers.
he goes to his lieutenant. his two sergeants. nothing.
now he gives up fully. nobody knows anything about this or who it might be. not him, his best friends, or his own task force.
time passes quickly until it's the end of the day (and he's surprised he's almost spent hours trying to figure this puzzling gift out), and he's trying to come to terms with this.
'it's intended to be anonymous, he shouldn't be trying to figure this out, and he shouldn't lose sleep over this.' is what he tells himself when he gets back to his barracks.
he looks down at the mysterious bouquet in his hand that never had left him alone since he'd come across it, like a fungus that had grown on a damp and and won't let go, and he lets out a sigh.
but john supposes he doesn't mind keeping it. if it really is someone he's friends with (which he's sure), he shouldn't just throw it away. he'll keep it.
which is what he does. preparing and cleaning a random glass jar big enough to fit the flowers, found somewhere around his barracks. it's now put to better use instead of just collecting dust, now filled up with water, the stems of the roses inside.
he sets it on the nightstand next to his bed, and for some reason the room feels a little more homey. oh and don't forget the tag, which he sets next to the jar of blossoms, just in case he does remember who's handwriting that is, he'll be 100% sure who it is and won't be doubting himself if he checks it.
he has come to terms with it now. he's comfortable in bed and he won't be asking himself or anyone else questions that'll lead to nothing. he's sure the one who gave him the bouquet will reveal themselves soon enough. like he told himself, 'he won't lose sleep over this.'
and he is about to drift off into sleep— until suddenly he remembers, and he jolts, sitting up.
he turns his head to look at the roses as his brain is overwhelmed with inquiry. price knows who it is. it's c/n. it's y/n. and now he just has more questions, some the same as previous ones but with the added confusion that it's you that got the flowers for him.
he is going to lose sleep over this after all.
Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish:
when soap first heard about the captain's situation, he thought it was hilarious. he got roses from an unknown individual? that's silly. he almost even started laughing seeing price so frustrated and baffled over a bouquet of plants.
though, after he said he didn't know anything about any flowers and price walked away in disappointment to go question his other sergeant, perhaps he was a little jealous. don't look at him like that. what's so wrong about maybe wanting a secret admirer?
unbeknownst to him, he would get a gift of his own in no time. when he got to the mess hall, he immediately spotted a box of something right on his table. he quickly went to the seat he always sits at, because of course he has a specific place to eat every day— and he hopes it isn't too obvious to the other soldiers nearby that he's resisting the urge to dash over and admire the supposed present.
when he finally gets to see the gift up close, he practically has stars in his eyes. the note on top of the box catches his eyes first before anything, a simple sentence of 'heard you had a sweet tooth.' typed on the printed out paper.
he has to resist a giddy grin creeping onto his face as he carefully slides the note aside, looking at the box of assorted chocolates in front of him. ultimately, he breaks, and a smile is instantly plastered on his face, already taking one of the sweets and plopping it into his mouth, humming contentedly.
he has the urge to dig into all of them because the candy is remarkably delicious and has his body tingling with dopamine, but fights it and chooses on savoring the gift, taking time to relish in each pieces' flavor.
he enjoys the way the first layers of chocolate slowly melts on his tongue and the taste of the equally chocolate-y syrup inside hits him like a freight train— it makes him appreciate the person who gave him this even more so.
don't worry though, johnny isn't too greedy. he saves the other half of the box for later.
eventually, he does lift his glued-on gaze from the gift to around the mess hall. though, he's met with the other soldiers giving him weird looks. and it does look kind of odd to be fair. a grown man, another soldier, in the mess hall eating a randomly fancy box of chocolates by himself.
despite the little awkward situation and the slightly unpleasant, silent walk out of the mess hall with the box in hand, you know he's walking around with a broad grin on his face for probably the next few days.
Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick:
to him, the similar occurrence between his captain and sergeant friend was strange. he'd heard identical stories from both of them now— the same concept of a mysterious offering given to them by a mysterious person.
he was wondering if the lieutenant got one too, and just hadn't told anyone. he was also questioning if he would get one as well. was this individual giving gifts to everyone in the task force?
well, he'd find out soon enough. the answer is most definitely yes.
he'd been dragged away by soap just right after a briefing, into a mostly empty hallway. and after a measly, short conversation and or slight argument about why gaz had been dragged here in the first place, and also why soap looked like he was holding in a giggle fit, the latter pulled out a box from his pocket. so he is getting a gift as well— same note and everything.
soap explains that he'd been requested by this 'anonymous person' to deliver him one as well, like a damn messenger pigeon.
so gaz takes the container carefully in hand before soap snickers and scurries away to do whatever.
he's pretty interested in what's inside as he properly takes a look at it. the box is flatter than your average box, black and sleek with of course, a small, yellow sticky note taped on top. 'this is one of our favourite memories. -unknown.'
he glances around the empty hallway for a moment, feeling a bit weird standing in a quiet hallway, opening a present by himself, alone. but nevermind that— he opens it, and kyle is met with.. a necklace. a silver necklace with a heart locket attached to the bottom.
he moderately cocks his head at the sight of the locket, then picks the necklace up with his right hand, the box still resting on the surface of the other. he opens the heart and squints, a mini photograph of himself and.. another recruit, wearing a mask, so he couldn't see their face. his hand was slung over their shoulder and they were doing the same to his, and despite them covering their face, he could still see a small smile on their face and his own.
he can remember this. he thinks he knows this. it was a group photo of the whole task force. there's the other soldiers in this photo too, but the photo is cropped in a way that you can only see him and the other comrade.
but he doesn't seem to.. remember who he was next to? something in his memory is bugged, like when you forget that one word but you also somewhat remember at the same time, or you forget what you were going to say while having a conversation with somebody.
it almost makes him as frustrated as price when he got his gift, but he wants to push those other emotions aside and just focus on the gratefulness he feels. to be honest he adores the necklace. he's sure he would think it suits him if he wore it and looked in the mirror.
and the picture.. he's still thinking about it. still looking at it. he finds the memory charming and sweet, even if he can't remember this soldier properly. he likes the way he can still see both of the happiness and smile in their eyes despite how tiny the image is. he likes the way he can see the shine and colour in their eyes in the dim light where the photo was taken.
the more he admires the jewelry the more he falls in love with it. the more he wants to cherish it and the mysterious fella who has gifted it to him.
after a lot of staring, and smiling at the present in hand, he finally closes the locket and slips the necklace on, briefly feeling the cold silver around his neck before it turns warm from his body heat.
and then he just walks off casually just like soap, who's probably waiting around the corner to ask "what'd you get?"
he now holds the box close to his chest as if he might keep that too, nearing the end of the hallway.
kyle's mind goes to the photo again, and his brain starts whirring with the thoughts of who it is.
but he's sure he'll remember later. he'll know who the person is soon enough, maybe if he sees them walking through the halls with that same mask. but either way, he knows he'll remember, and he'll thank them for this gift.
Simon 'Ghost' Riley:
now, he already knew he was going to get a gift as well, seeing as everyone in the task force but him has gotten at least something. he's heard price's predicament, johnny entering a briefing a little too happily with small bits of chocolate syrup near his lips, and kyle proudly walking around base wearing a necklace.
but he has some assumptions that the person didn't get anything for him. he's.. well, simon 'ghost' riley, after all. spooky, intimidating to most, tall dude.
but it seems his assumptions were incorrect, because he came back to his barracks after somewhat of a rough mission just to notice a a small, dark box oddly left on top of one of the shelves near his bed.
after easily retrieving the container, he examines it— and there's the typical 'note' from them, a few words written on top of the lid with a white marker. it reads, 'saw this and it reminded me of you. from a soldier friend of yours.'
.. but what if this 'soldier friend' has actually left a bomb inside of this? will it explode right now? a spy camera? is anybody watching?
you can't blame him for the skepticism. a strange box randomly appearing on one of your shelves? you would be hesitant to open it too.
after a few shakes he gives to the box to hear if anything suspicious is inside, he decides that it isn't a miniscule explosive or a secret camera or any other funky gadget.
simon opens it, and one of his eyebrows raises as an automatic response. a bracelet? specifically, a bracelet made of small, shiny, white pearls with a single flower charm.
but he's not ungrateful or doesn't like it, per se, he's just.. confused. as everyone else was.
confused that somebody thought to get him a gift. bought something for him that he never asked for or mentioned or even thought of himself.
it's not what he was expecting at all. a bracelet. really? for him? but why? he stands in that spot for a good minute, trying to make sense of this. but he's also trying to tell himself he doesn't care about this.
but there's a little creature in his heart or in his brain or something whispering to him that he actually kind of likes it.
he won't admit any of this— but he does end up keeping it, box and all. and he does like the gorgeous glossiness of the pearls and the intricate details and carvings of the charm.
he likes the way it feels on his wrist when he slides it on. it has a nice, cool feeling, but not cold enough for it to be uncomfortable. like the way a cold pillow feels nice against your head.
and from that day forward, if you look closely enough, you can always see a glimpse of a shiny piece of jewelry peeking through the bottom of ghost's sleeve.
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runningfrom2am · 8 months
Note
Okay! Ik ur not talking request rn but I’ve had this thought for a lil bit but rafe w hs Teacher!reader, who he likes to visit during her lunch time aka study hall time, and the students adore him and like since it’s hs the girls like find his so attractive( bc mf is) 🤭
okay this request is SO self-indulgent for me bc i'm like a year out from becoming a hs teacher myself like AH that's the dream so i love you so so much for this whoever you are i could give you the biggest hug rn thank you so so much for this idea!!
study hall - r.c.
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pairing: husband!rafe x teacher!reader
wc: 1.6k
tags/warnings: fluff and almost nothing else. rafe is a perfect boyfriend bc,, duh? also not very canon of him honestly.
requests currently closed but feel free to send stuff in! it just might take me a while to get around to it :)
nav/masterlists
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"Okay that's the lecture, we've got about a minute before the bell here... does anyone have any questions?" You finish up your slides, checking the time briefly as you close up the powerpoint from your laptop and turn off the projector.
A couple of hands shoot up and you gaze over the class waiting briefly for anymore. "Okay, we'll do Max, and then Lacy. Fire off." You point to the two of them in order.
"Can we get an extension on the essay?" Max asks quickly and you laugh. "It's not due for another week! How can you be behind already?" Judging by the reaction of the rest of the class chattering off their agreement, you nod. "Okay, okay. Fine. Yes, you can hand it in on the Monday instead of Friday, but that is giving you two extra days so I won't be giving any more extensions. Got it?"
Collectively the class sighs in relief, a chorus of thank you's and chatter following. "Okay, Lacy, you had a question?" You interrupt everyone to ask, thinking maybe someone else might have the same question and want to hear the answer.
"Is Mr. Cameron coming to study hall today?" She asks, round cheeks flushed as the other girls in the class whip their heads towards you to listen.
"Okay." You laugh, sitting down in your chair content that you won't need to pull up any slides to revisit anything. "Thank you for reminding me, I do have study hall today so if anybody does have any serious questions about the lecture or the essay please hang around after the bell." You say, avoiding most of the question.
You hear the voice of almost every girl in the class speak up at once, all resulting in more or less the same question about whether or not your boyfriend would be coming again to eat with you like he usually does on Fridays.
He was very popular among the girls you taught, which doesn't surprise you. You'd be lying if you said your boyfriend wasn't ridiculously handsome, but it was sometimes a point of contention with the other faculty you worked with. They thought it was extremely unprofessional that he would come in just for the girls to ogle at- but strangely it wasn't a problem when they had their partners come in for lunch at the same time. You knew it wasn't your fault and you weren't doing anything wrong, but just a result of upset from them designating study hall for students and many girls would spend time in your class instead during the lunch hour.
Just then the bell rang, and many students began packing up to leave either to go to other classes for study or to the cafeteria to grab something to eat.
"Alright! Don't forget the readings for next class, please, I may or may not be quizzing you on it just to make sure! Have a good day everyone!" You call out over the loud sounds of students filling the halls and talking.
You sigh with a smile and grab your water bottle, taking a sip to ease your dry throat after an hour of non-stop talking. You look up, humming in acknowledgement at the three girls leaning over your desk. "Question?" You ask, already knowing what they're after.
"Is Mr. Cameron coming?" Lacy's friend, Chloe asks and you smile, shrugging.
"Maybe, you'll have to stay for my study hall to find out."
"Come on just tell us!" Lacy groans, but before you can respond you're interrupted by a knock on your door frame.
"Ms. Y/L/N, I brought your lunch." You smile at your boyfriend standing at the door, lunch bag and coffee in hand.
"Hi." You chuckle, looking at the girls knowingly who already look like they're melting. You get up and greet him at the door, grabbing another chair to pull over to your desk for him to join you.
“Hi Mr. Cameron.” Lacy smiles, sitting down in the desk closest to yours and batting her lashes at him.
“Hi there.” Rafe says politely with an awkward smile, digging through the lunch bag he brought for you and handing you snacks out of it.
“Girls, go get your lunches, please.” You tell them, and they all somehow simultaneously roll their eyes.
“You just want us to leave so you can be alone with your boyfriend.” Chloe teases you and you laugh, shaking your head.
“No, I want you to go get your lunches so you can give your bodies the nutrients they need to learn. I’m not going to be held responsible for you girls missing meals.” You reply sincerely before taking a sip of your coffee. “And I promise, Mr. Cameron will still be here when you get back. Now, go.”
You gesture to the door and the girls sigh, getting up and filing out the door.
“You’re the only reason I ever have anyone in my study hall.” You giggle quietly once they’re gone. “There are no girls in study hall on Monday or Wednesday.”
“No way, Ms. Y/L/N is their favourite teacher, obviously.”
“Or my class is the hardest and my very hot boyfriend comes to eat with me during Friday study hall.”
“Your class is easy!” Rafe laughs, reaching up to brush away some hair that stuck to your cheek as you’re eating.
“You’ve never taken it, how would you know?”
“Well, if you were my teacher when I was in school… I’d be in here every day. “The boys don’t come on Fridays because they’re jealous of me…” He says smugly, leaning in to kiss your cheek.
You blush as you playfully push him away, glancing towards the open door to make sure no students saw. “Yeah, you’d be in here because you’d need help with Shakespeare, and they do too.”
Rafe gasped in mock offense, then shakes his head. “That’s messed up. I’m offended.”
You shrug. “It’s tough stuff if you’ve never read it before.”
“We’re back!” You both look up at the door as Lacy and her friends make their way back in, lunches in hand this time. “Did you miss us?”
“Welcome back, ladies. Did you bring some homework with you?” You ask, raising an eyebrow at them.
“Duh, Ms. Y/L/N. Who do you think we are?”
“I just wanted to make sure. Study hall is for studying, not chatting.”
They all get comfy in their seats around the desk across from yours, phones immediately out with no work to be seen.
“Hey, Mr. Cameron?” Chloe asks, leaning on her upturned palm as she grabs his attention and he hums in acknowledgement. “What’s your first name?”
“Rafe.” He answers, not thinking for a second that maybe it’s not allowed.
“That’s a great name. Like, really cool.” Lacy sighs, smiling at him.
“Why, thank you.” Rafe grins, nudging your shoulder. He eats this attention up every time, and it’s fun to joke about when you’re at home- but sometimes you think it’s bad for his ego.
“Can we call you Rafe?”
“If you want.” He shrugs.
“No, nope. He’s Mr. Cameron to you, sorry to disappoint.” You chuckle.
“But he said we can call him that!” Chloe whines, looking at you pleadingly.
“Sure, but the school board says otherwise. As long as we’re on school grounds you don’t even know his name, got it?”
“Yes ma’am.” They agree, giggling to themselves. “It’ll be our secret. Scouts honour.”
“None of you are scouts!” You laugh.
The girls just look at each other and shrug.
By now other students have filtered in, and luckily with tests coming up in all your blocks, a lot of studying is actually happening and less harassing of your boyfriend.
“Hey,” Rafe whispers, leaning closer to you which draws the attention of the girls in the front row who are straining to listen. “Can we take the yacht out this weekend? Maybe go for dinner or something on the mainland?” He whispers, smiling at you hopefully.
“Yeah, that would be nice. We could make a weekend out of it, I don’t have much grading to do.” You agree quietly and he seems excited, smiling and patting your leg before returning to his book that he had just picked up off your desk to skim through while you ate.
Come Monday morning, you’re getting ready for the bell to ring to signal the start of the first block. Once your whiteboard is ready with the notes for the day, you smile to yourself in anticipation as you sip your coffee. The bell rings, and students are quick to make their way in and to their desks.
“Oh. My. God.” Lacy stops in her tracks at the door, holding her arms out in front of her friends on either side of her as she stares at the whiteboard, and then looks over to you. “You’re joking!” She almost screams, clapping excitedly and running up to your desk to examine your hand while all the other students look up to the board in confusion, hoping for some answers as to what Lacy and Chloe are squealing about.
On your board, you had changed your name in the corner to a short statement:
‘You can call me Mrs. Cameron’
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taglist: @rafeoccasionally , @bookishbabyyy , @madelynie , @whore-4-drewstarkey , @slut4drudy , @winterrrnight , @totalswag , @sadfury , @fullfledgedemo , @rafemotherfuckingcameron , @urfaveluvr , @chenslucy , @hxnnah-397, @s-we-e-t-t-ea , @tahliac11 , @saccharinesammie , @ietss , @maybankslover , @redhead1180 , @suzyheartsrafe , @wpdailyminimeta , @aegons-bitch, @rafegirly , @lovelyxtommy, @thelomlisrafecameron , @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles , @flonkertn , @whtvrrafe
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asdfghjklmals · 10 months
Text
MILESTONES✩༶‧˚
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GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. suggestive comments. WORD COUNT: 6.0k words. TAGS: satoru gojo x fem!oc, dadtobe!gojo, pregnant!oc, established couple. a lil' jealous!oc.
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SYNOPSIS: a compilation of short stories about the stages of pregnancy with oc gojo girlfriend and satoru. AUTHOR'S NOTE: please make sure to read 'accidents' before milestones. i couldn't have you guys miss out on oc gojo girlfriend and satoru's pregnancy journey. it was so fun to write this. a lot of research went into the baby gojo chronicles, i honestly think my fbi agent thinks i'm pregnant. REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!
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8 weeks: the first pre-natal appointment
it has been two weeks since you and satoru decided that you were going to keep the baby. this week was your first pre-natal appointment to "meet" baby gojo. you couldn't tell who was more nervous, you or satoru.
during your appointment, satoru sat in the exam room as the nurse drew your blood to perform tests and to confirm the pregnancy. the nurse also performed a pap smear, which freaked satoru out after he saw what a speculum looked like. he said it looked like a 'torture chamber tool' and you wholeheartedly agreed with him.
you exchanged soft smiles with satoru multiple times throughout your appointment. satoru was engrossed with the entire process. his curiousness was adorable in your eyes as he asked your nurse questions about all the procedures and tests she was performing. about an hour later after receiving the results of your blood tests, your doctor entered the room.
“well, first things first, congratulations on your pregnancy (y/n)! your blood test came back positive with hcg.” your doctor began, “now let’s talk about some upcoming lifestyle changes you'll have to make.”
“wait, when do we get to see the baby?” satoru interrupted. you glared at him, dark green eyes telling him ‘shut up, satoru’.
“we’ll perform the ultrasound after this, satoru.” your doctor chimed. “(y/n), i want you to start taking a pre-natal. stop eating raw fish, deli meats, and eat thoroughly cooked meats for now.”
you blinked twice. that meant no sushi for you. your heart sank a little. satoru noticed the disappointment shift in your mood. he felt a little guilty.
"so that's why you had me cook your steak well-done..." satoru whispered to himself. you scoffed at his sudden realization from two weeks ago. (read ‘accidents’ here)
“do you or satoru have any pre-existing medical conditions in either families?”
“no. but he might be pre-diabetic by the time he’s 40.” you snorted.
satoru chuckled and reported back, “there’s nothing on my side of the family to note.”
“that’s great to hear. just be aware of gestational diabetes, (y/n). i know you love your chocolate ice cream so watch your intake.” your doctor typed some notes in your patient profile, “your due date is looking close to october 14th. any other questions?”
“can the baby come earlier?” satoru quickly asked.
your doctor smiled at the both of you, “i wouldn’t necessary call it early, but babies are considered full term at 37 weeks. it would be good for the baby to be born around or after that time.”
“uhm, do you think i’ll be able to give birth vaginally?” you asked next. your sister-in-law had to have c-sections, so that worried you. her recovery was a journey for her and honestly, it scared you. but you were willing to do whatever it takes to make sure baby gojo arrived safely.
“as long as there aren’t any complications, of course. we can plan on that. we'll just have to monitor how your pregnancy is going.” your doctor picked up on yours and satoru’s quiet and awkward social queues, "and yes, you can still have sex while you're pregnant.
"oh, thank god." satoru sighed in relief as you smacked him with the back of your hand. he was so embarrassing.
"please, just ignore him." you looked at your doctor, cheeks cherry red.
she laughed and asked the most important question of the day, “are you guys ready to meet your baby?”
you nodded your head and giggled, “yes. i think satoru’s more excited than i am. he won't shut up about it.”
“i’ve been waiting two weeks for this moment.” satoru said with a sheepish smile, his hand scratching the back of his fresh undercut. his blue eyes peeking through from his sunglasses.
“okay, let’s get started then.” your doctor announced while snapping on her sterile gloves. “we’ll be performing a transabdominal ultrasound today, nothing painful.”
she squeezed a handful of gel to apply to your belly. you jumped in your seat.
“are you okay?” satoru asked, concerned at your sudden movement.
you reassured him, “yeah, the gel is just cold.”
your doctor laughed in amusement and started to rub the wand around your abdomen. you heard a fast thumping noise.
“is that the heartbeat?” you wondered, looking at the black and white screen. satoru smiled from ear-to-ear as he cupped his cheek in his right hand, his left hand squeezing yours. hearing his baby’s heartbeat might take the cake for one of his favorite sounds in the world, next to your laugh.
your doctor reported back, “yup. a healthy 138 bpm. i’m gonna take some pictures now…”
you saw a tiny circle in the middle of the monitor as your doctor clicked away on her computer mouse.
“is that the baby?” satoru asked, squinting at the monitor.
“yes. you see the little image that looks like a bean?” she clicked again, “it’s about half an inch… that’s your baby.”
“it’s so cute. how tiny. a baby bean…” you gushed. you turned to look at satoru. he was itching his eyes.
“satoru gojo, are you crying?” you asked in disbelief.
he quickly defended himself, avoiding all eye contact with you. “no! something just got in my eye.”
he was such a liar. his infinity would never allow anything to touch his precious six eyes.
your doctor laughed at the sweet moment between the two of you. you watched the love of your life stare at the black and white screen in amazement. your heart felt like it was going to burst watching him. you wanted to hold him tightly and never let go.
12 weeks: surprise! we’re pregnant!
it was so hard for you and satoru to keep your pregnancy a secret for the past 6 weeks. the only two people who knew you were pregnant were shoko and megumi.
your doctor had advised you to wait until the end of your first trimester to announce your pregnancy because of the risk of miscarriage. once you made it past the first trimester, you thought about how you were going to tell everyone. of course, you and satoru wanted it to be a surprise. an imaginary lightbulb lit above your head.
“babe, i have an idea.” you said excitedly, grabbing satoru’s arm as he was looking through your office drawers for something sweet to snack on.
“hmmm. what is it, sweetheart?” he asked as he unwrapped a piece of chocolate. you always kept a stash of satoru's favorite chocolates in your desk for him because he loved to hide in your office and avoid his sensei duties.
“you know how we usually take a group picture with the faculty, students, and sister school every year? let's tell principal yaga to schedule it early this year.”
“oh, i like where this is going.” satoru laughed. he read your mind. you high-fived him. he gave you a quick peck on the cheek. couples’ telepathy was really a thing.
*********************************
“and why do we have to be here?” maki complained as she folded her arms. she wanted to train, not take a silly picture.
“come on, maki! it’s tradition to get a picture of all the students and faculty. it’s just that we’re taking the picture earlier than usual this year.” panda said as he patted her back.
“even okkotsu came back from his training to be in the picture. my sister flew in just to be in it too.” megumi said as he watched yuta interact with the students from kyoto. tsumiki was attached to your hip. megumi already knew the real reason why the picture was scheduled so early in the school year and why tsumiki was asked to be in the picture.
“alright! everyone looks great.” yuji cheered as he walked to his assigned spot for the group picture.
principal yaga gathered everyone, “please make your way to the field and get into your assigned spots. satoru will be pressing the button for the camera since he can teleport to his spot quickly.”
you nervously watched as all the students and jujutsu high faculty made their way to their spots, getting ready for the picture.
“okay everyone!” satoru shouted as he prepared himself to teleport next to you and megumi, “i’m pressing the timer!”
satoru appeared by your side as the 10 second timer ticked. satoru sneakily pressed record instead taking of a picture. “everyone say ‘(y/n)-sensei’s pregnant’!”
everyone stopped to look at you and satoru in confusion.
“what?”
“what did he say?”
“huh?!”
“(y/n)-sensei… is pregnant?!”
“wait what?”
“holy shit, (y/n)-sensei is pregnant!”
after a few seconds of questioning, everyone realized what had just happened. you had just announced your pregnancy.
in that moment, you were tackled by tsumiki, megumi, yuji, nobara, and yuta as they cheered around you in a group hug. ijichi, akari, principal yaga, nanami, ino, mei, utahime and shoko were all congratulating satoru. they took turns speaking with the both of you, giving you well wishes on a safe and healthy pregnancy.
“congrats, (y/n)-sensei.” maki said with a soft smile, embarrassed she complained about being here. she wouldn’t have wanted to miss this.
panda added, “yes, congratulations! we’re excited to see you and satoru become parents.”
“salmon, salmon!” toge congratulated you in his own words.
“thanks everyone. if you guys aren’t busy, we’re going to have a celebratory dinner tonight at splendid sushi. satoru’s treat.” you winked.
“hey! i heard that!” satoru shouted at you from across the field as he grinned. both you and satoru were thrilled to see everyone’s excitement on the news of baby gojo.
*********************************
“are you nervous to tell my brother you knocked up his little sister?” you teased satoru. you kissed his cheek as he brushed the loose strands of black hair behind your ear.
“nah, i’m sure he wants nieces and nephews for his kids. plus, it was an accident.” he joked as he drummed his fingers on the restaurant table. you and satoru people-watched through the restaurant window, waiting for touya and his wife. (a/n: yeah, touya is married with 2 kids now. his wife’s name is hana. a non-sorcerer. maybe i'll write a wedding fic.)
you smiled as you saw your brother walk into the restaurant, holding the door open for hana. touya’s black hair and golden-yellow eyes beamed when he saw you satoru.
“satoru! how have you been, bro?!” touya greeted his self-proclaimed brother, pulling him in for a bro hug.
“i can’t believe he hugged satoru first.” you looked at hana in disbelief as she giggled, hugging you instead.
“they really are bestfriends now.” hana realized as she sat across from you.
satoru sat back down in his seat next to you, touya sitting across from him. “glad you guys could have lunch with us. it’s been awhile.”
“we have a gift for you guys! a souvenir from our last trip.” you lied to your brother and sister-in-law. you pushed a card and white box towards them.
“open it. it’s special, made especially for you.” satoru urged, touya and hana taking the card to open first.
“what do you get a brother who already has everything?” touya read out loud. hana curiously reading along with him. satoru placed his hand on your thigh. the both of you were grinning from ear-to-ear watching the two open the box. they pulled out a beige baby onesie.
touya read the text on the onesie, “how about the title uncle and auntie…?”
after putting 2+2 together, touya hid his face with his hands, both him and hana were so happy for you and satoru. your eyes started to water watching them. a tearful laugh came out of you.
“congratulations, you two. my baby sis is having a baby...” touya said as he got up to embrace you.
you hugged him tighter, “thanks, touya…” you softly said. the warmth of your brother's love and support making you extremely emotional. these pregnancy hormones were out. of. control.
18 weeks: an important question
"aren't you curious to what the gender is?" shoko asked you and satoru. you asked shoko to join you two for lunch today because you had an important question to ask the amber-eyed doctor in regards to your unborn child.
you took a bite of your chicken katsu before answering, "of course we are. but we decided not to find out because we want it to be a surprise."
“what do you want it to be? a boy or girl?”
“it doesn’t matter. as long as baby gojo is healthy.” satoru stereotypically said as he stretched his arm to rest over your shoulder. he secretly wanted a girl.
you added, “we raised megumi and tsumiki. we already experienced the best of both worlds. so i’m not picky.”
“i guess i’m just being selfish because i want to know the gender.” shoko laughed as she took a sip of her mimosa.
“oh! shoko, we have a present for you.” you said as you put down your chopsticks. you turned to satoru and he grabbed another white box with a card attached do it, similar to the one you gave touya and hana.
“it better be the gender of your baby.” she laughed as she took the present from satoru.
“it’s something even better.” satoru said with his signature shit-eating grin.
shoko opened the card, reading it out loud, “i need an extra pair of hands to help me learn and grow… i know that yours will be the best because mommy and daddy told me so…?” she looked at the card, confused.
you asked her clearly while trying not to laugh, “shoko, will you be baby gojo’s godmother?”
shoko stared at both you and satoru after she realized what you had just asked of her. she started to chuckle as she got out of her seat to hug you. “of course, i will. hopefully your baby won’t grow up to be a little shit like satoru.” she said as she punched the white-haired sorcerer in the arm, satoru completely letting her bypass his infinity to do so.
“there’s another gift in there.” satoru added, pointing at the giant glass.
shoko picked up the pint glass and read the etching, “you drink too much. you smoke too much. and you cheated on your medical exam. we can’t think of anyone more suitable to be baby gojo’s godmother.”
shoko laughed, “okay, this might have been better than finding out the gender of your baby.”
26 weeks: baby gojo’s first (external) kick
megumi came home this weekend to spend time with you, satoru, and tsumiki. normally, he would be spending his free time exploring japan with nobara and yuji, but since you were pregnant and tsumiki was back for her semester break from her study abroad program, he wanted to spend his free time with his family.
you were in the kitchen with tsumiki making dinner while satoru and megumi sat around the living room with his demon dogs, shiro and kuro. catoru was lounging in their cat scratch post and your spirit birds were out on the patio enjoying the weather. you didn’t realize how zoo-like your home was until now... and that wasn't even including all of megumi's shikigami either.
while chopping vegetables, tsumiki updated you on her high school adventures abroad. ever since she started at e.f. academy, she has been non-stop on-the-go with extracurricular activities. she told you about her latest projects, how the weather was in california, about all the friends she made, and even the boy she had a small crush on. (read 'wherever you are' here)
on the couch, megumi spoke with satoru about his shikigami and how he’s been able to tame a majority of them now. this was the first time in awhile those two haven’t bickered in your presence, and it was a sight to behold.
you rested your hands on your belly as you leaned your back against the kitchen counter, listening to your sweet teenager talk about how cute her crush was. you reminisced about your time in high school, how you thought satoru was a complete asshole when you first met him, and how his good looks and horrible personality made up for it. if your 18 year old self could see you now, she wouldn’t believe the sight. (read 'love at first fight' here)
you felt a little tap against your hands. “huh?” you said out loud, realizing what you just felt on your hands.
“(y/n)? are you okay?” tsumiki asked as she put down the chopping knife. satoru and megumi turned around from the couch, all the attention was on you.
“i think baby gojo just kicked my hand.” you announced. only you were able to feel baby gojo kick internally for the past couple weeks, but now, you thought that satoru and the kids would be able to actually feel the kicks from the outside too.
“hurry, come over here!” you said frantically, hoping baby gojo would kick again. satoru dramatically teleported beside you as megumi hopped over the couch ledge to race over to the kitchen, kuro and shiro following him.
you took all three of their hands and placed it on your belly where you thought baby gojo was. the demon dogs sniffed around you, their tails wagging happily. you pursed your lips, waiting for another kick. you felt kuro and shiro licking your hands.
and there it was. another gentle kick from baby gojo.
“i felt it!” tsumiki cheered as she jumped around the kitchen. her bright smile lighting up the room.
satoru hugged you from behind. you both smiled while watching tsumiki and megumi. megumi looked at his hand, and then back at your stomach.
“did you feel it, megumi?” you asked him with a smile.
“yeah, i did.” he said softly. “that was pretty cool.”
“what about you, daddy?” you grinned as you asked satoru.
megumi gagged at satoru’s new title, “gross. i’m leaving.”
you and satoru watched as your moody teenager made his way back to the couch, tsumiki’s attention back on chopping vegetables. satoru’s arms were still wrapped around you, his face nuzzled in the crook of your neck. baby gojo kicked once more.
“i think baby gojo is saying ‘let go of us so mommy can finish cooking’.” you giggled as you turned around to face the white haired sorcerer. you caressed his cheek with your palm. he snuck two kisses on your neck.
“fine… but i expect some alone time later.” he winked at you before kissing the palm of your hand.
you laughed, “sorry, babe, the kids are home this weekend, plus you get me all to yourself next week when we go to mexico for our baby moon.”
30 weeks: a first time parents' class
"babe, get ready. i signed us up for a class."
"what kind of class? it better not be another ‘how to have sex while pregnant’ class." you rolled your eyes at the ridiculous class that satoru signed you up for at the beginning of your pregnancy. you sighed, your belly weighing you down on your very comfortable white couch that you would probably need satoru's help getting out of.
he grinned at you as he grabbed your purse and your shoes. "a first time parents class."
your doctor recommended that you and satoru waited until your third trimester to take a 'first time parent' class. the class would teach new parents about the different kinds of births, pain management strategies, what to do if and when your water breaks, how to time contractions, postpartum care, caring for the baby, and baby first aid.
“do we have to go?” you asked, “i’m tired.” feigning exhaustion as you put the back of your hand over your eyes and forehead.
“of course we have to go!” satoru exclaimed as he sat down next to you. he was always so excited whenever it came to anything related to baby gojo. he slipped on your white sneakers for you, swiftly tying your shoe laces bunny ear style as you sat up on your elbows. you caught yourself smiling at him. he was so doting. you could definitely get used to this.
satoru studied you. you weren't wearing any makeup today, but you had the radiant "pregnancy glow" that everyone talked about. you wore a beige dress under a white crop t-shirt that hugged your belly tightly. “you look beautiful, so no need to change or do your makeup.”
“you just don’t want to be late.” you laughed. this was the first time that satoru gojo was on time for anything.
*********************************
satoru teleported you both to the hospital in tokyo that you go to for your all your doctor appointments. apparently the hospital was hosting the class he signed up for. there were many pregnant women with their significant others, friends, mothers, and mother-in-laws sitting around the small auditorium.
as you entered the room, you heard gasps and whispers about satoru.
“wow! what a good looking guy!”
“he’s a total hottie!”
“that guy is gonna be a dilf for sure!”
“do you see the cutie with the white hair and blue eyes?!”
“where should we sit?” satoru asked as he held your hand. you looped your free arm around his bicep covetously, staking claim to your man as if your very pregnant belly didn't do so already.
“don’t pretend like you don’t hear all the women in this room talking about you.” you hissed at him as you sat down in a seat closer to the front of the auditorium. because this happened everywhere you went with satoru, normally it wouldn't bug you, but for some reason it did today.
“somebody’s a green eyed monster today.” he sang with a smug smile. it was his favorite analogy to use when you were jealous because your green eyes were so fitting. he sat down next to you, draping his left arm around your shoulder, his right elbow perched on the arm rest. after over a decade of being with you, he was unphased by comments from other women. he ate it all up in high school, but satoru gojo became a changed man once he met you.
“am not.” you said under your breath. you stayed quiet for a moment. “babe, i just think it’s funny how—”
satoru's left ear was saved as your 'i think it's funny how' rant was interrupted by the presenter, “good afternoon! and welcome to the first time parents class!”
even though you were jealous and didn’t like how all the other women in the auditorium were drooling over satoru, you couldn’t stay mad. throughout the years, satoru’s beautiful blue eyes have never strayed and he never made you feel unwanted, even when you argued or when you were being difficult and stubborn. he was never bothered by your jealously. you were the only person he chased after since the day he met you at jujutsu high.
throughout the class, satoru took notes on his phone and asked questions during the q&a. it was hard to stay mad at a man as dedicated and involved as satoru gojo. you decided to just ignore the women in the class, however, that didn’t mean that you wouldn’t cling to satoru when the class ends.
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“so, what’d you think about the class?” satoru asked as he placed your go-to order of ice cream in front of you. he sat across from you as you glared at his sweet, handsome, smug face.
“it was fine. we learned a lot of information, don’t you think?” you deferred as you scooped a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth.
“yeah, and i learned that you still get jealous til’ this day.” satoru poked fun at you. “remember the first time i took you shopping in shibuya? you were soooo jealous of all the girls talking about me and you weren’t even my girlfriend at the time.” he laughed at the memory. (read ‘love at first fight’ here)
you quipped back, “satoru, everyone knows that you’re the one who’s obsessed with me.”
“true,” he agreed while taking a bite of your ice cream, “but it’s nice to see that side of you every once in awhile. what’s my baby gonna do when she’s not my number one anymore?” he mocked in a playful tone, shooting a bright toothy smile at you.
your emerald green eyes pierced his sapphire blue eyes. “what do you mean by that?”
“baby gojo is gonna be my number one.” satoru said nonchalantly, licking caramel off your spoon.
you took your ice cream away from him. holding the cup closer to you instead of putting it in the middle of the table to share.
satoru chastised you, “that’s not nice, sweetheart.”
“you’re insufferable, babe.” you rolled your eyes at him. “first, you let women drool all over you in front of me, then you tell me that i’m not your number one anymore. what’s next? you don’t love me either?”
“there you go with the theatrics.” satoru sighed, folding his arms. he wouldn't expect anything less from his life partner.
“i learned from the best teacher, i think his name was satoru gojo.” you winked at him.
"it's a good thing i love you." satoru said as he leaned over the table to kiss you on the lips. he tasted just like caramel.
32 weeks: nesting
"this fucking crib is going to be the death of me." satoru muttered under his breath as he struggled putting together the 'smart' crib that he bought. as soon as satoru found out you were pregnant, he spent a whole month researching cribs to decide which one he was going to buy for baby gojo. he decided on the most expensive one, thinking that it would be the best. rich people logic. this crib was called a 'snoo'.
"you didn't have to get such a high tech crib, babe." you said as you sat on the bed folding warm, freshly washed baby clothes and baby bedding for the snoo. you admired how cute and small the onesies were. because you and satoru didn't know the gender of your baby, you bought a lot of neutral colored clothing like beiges, tans, browns, and whites.
"my baby is going to have the best everything." satoru boasted. of course, baby gojo was going to be spoiled. they had you and satoru gojo as their parents.
during the past couple of weeks, you and satoru had bought a handful of important things that new parents would need for a newborn baby such as a crib, stroller, car seat, changing table dresser, and a comfortable lounging chair for your bedroom to put next to baby gojo's crib for the late night feeds.
satoru insisted that everything would be 'nuna' branded. the employee at his favorite department store convinced him after they mentioned that nuna was the "lamborghini of baby strollers and car seats." the matching stroller and car seat system was well over $1,000, you couldn't argue with satoru about how much he was spending because it would be hypocritical of you and your spending habits. so you let him get what he wanted.
after hours of setting up the snoo, putting together the baby stroller, installing the car seat, and building the dresser, satoru sighed, "what a long day." he crawled under the covers to meet you in bed, the back of his hand covering his face in exhaustion.
“it’s a good thing you could just use blue to move the lounge chair from the front door to the bedroom. you probably would've broke your back.” you teased him, knowing satoru gojo doesn’t do manual labor.
“the one easy part about today.” he complained.
while satoru took on his fatherly projects, you were able to deep clean the apartment, put baby clothes and diapers into the newly built dresser, add the clean bedding to the snoo, and re-organize all the drawers in the apartment. you were in the nesting stage of your pregnancy.
you turned to face him, your pregnancy pillow creating a divide between you and the exhausted sorcerer. he flattened your pregnancy pillow with his arm as you took his hand to lace your fingers with.
“you could’ve hired someone to build the snoo and the dresser, satoru.” you said to him, knowing that he normally would’ve.
“yeah, i know, but this is for my baby. i want to make sure everything is perfect.”
your heart melted at the fact that satoru was giving it his all to be involved. deep down, he wanted to be a good father and you could see that. you were proud of him.
"congrats, daddy. you just spent the day nesting with me." you smiled. you knew satoru secretly adored his new title.
the white haired sorcerer laughed, “what the hell is nesting? are we birds?”
“nesting is when couples get their home ready for the baby, satoru.”
“oh yeah? spending hours organizing drawers is nesting? because there’s nothing baby gojo will hate more than the junk drawer we have in the kitchen.” satoru teased.
you kissed the back of your teeth in annoyance, “you have been saying for years that you’d clean out the junk drawer. i found crayons in there from when megumi was in elementary school. he's a high schooler now. it only took me getting knocked up for it to finally be clean.”
you turned your body away from satoru. he moved your pregnancy pillow so he could cling to you (and so that he could be the big spoon).
“i’m just kidding, babe.” he whispered in your ear, kissing the back of your shoulder blade with his soft lips.
“uh huh. go to sleep, satoru.” you replied back to him, attempting to shut your eyes.
“so feisty…” satoru mumbled, still peppering soft kisses along your shoulder blade.
37 weeks: full term
"well... i can give birth at any time now." you said as you read your 'what to expect' app.
satoru placed his free hand on your stomach as he joined you on the white fluffy couch in your living room. you moved satoru's hand to where baby gojo was, using his hand to press firmly into your stomach.
he quickly pulled his hand away from you, afraid that he hurt you and baby gojo, "doesn't that hurt your stomach when you press that hard?" he asked.
"babe, no. give me your hand back. you'll be able to feel baby gojo's feet." you said, reaching for his hand that he reluctantly gave back to you. he leaned over to see what the hard feeling in your stomach was.
"that's baby gojo's feet?" he asked, amazed.
"yeah, baby gojo is literally killing me right now though." you said as you shifted uncomfortably. baby gojo liked to sleep in this position, making you lay on your left side more often.
satoru frowned, he knew you were uncomfortable now more than ever. "i'm sorry, babe."
you squinted at him, "what are you apologizing for?"
"for getting you pregnant."
you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, so you nuzzled your head on his chest. he pulled you closer to him, "don't apologize for that. apologize if i'm not able to get an epidural or something." you snickered as you looked up at him, "ready to read week 37?"
satoru nodded and kissed the top of your head as you laid against him.
"baby gojo is as big as a canary melon. estimating 19 inches, and 6 pounds. at 37 weeks, you're 9 months pregnant with the end in sight." you read out loud.
satoru took the phone from you to read his part, "at a glance, if baby gojo was born this week, they'd still be early term. baby gojo is practicing for their grand entrance by inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid, blinking, and turning from side to side. baby gojo can grab onto things now. baby gojo is likely to be sucking their thumb a lot these days in preparation for feeding sessions."
"it says babies grow about a pound a week. the average fetus weighs about 6 pounds. and that boys are likely to be heavier than girls." you read, "since it's a little crowded in your uterus now, baby gojo may not be kicking as much. instead, they're probably stretching, rolling and wiggling." you laughed because baby gojo was still kicking strong, sometimes it was painful, stopping you in your tracks in the middle of the day.
satoru blue-eyes widened as he read the next paragraph, "here's an interesting fact. at birth, baby gojo's head, which is still growing, will be about the same circumference as their chest."
"i pray to god that baby gojo doesn't have your big head or my vagina is toast." you joked.
satoru glared at you, shaking his head while chuckling. he went back to read through some of the pregnancy symptoms. he noticed that you experienced a majority of the symptoms on the list: the pelvic pain, leg cramps, pregnancy brain, and insomnia.
because you were of small stature, you started experiencing more pressure on your pelvis as the weeks went by. sometimes satoru would hold up your belly for you with his infinity whenever you were close by, and you were thankful for such a helpful cursed technique.
before bed, satoru would feed you bananas and massage your legs to help with the leg cramps. with your breasts and stomach as big as they've ever been, you finally got your stretch marks. for the majority of your pregnancy you were stretch mark-free, they didn't appear until the third trimester. satoru liked to call them your 'tiger stripes' when he would help you apply stretch mark creams and oils to your body. him helping you apply those creams and oils was a form of intimacy you didn't know you needed during this time. satoru always knew how to make you feel confident again.
your pregnancy brain caused you to be a little forgetful, so the acrylic whiteboard in the kitchen was your bestfriend. you left little reminders on the board for yourself, satoru, and megumi throughout your pregnancy.
lastly, it was hard for you to sleep now that you were in the home stretch of your pregnancy. every sleeping position was uncomfortable, and you had to wake up multiple times a night to use the bathroom. you never got a consistent amount of sleep.
even though being pregnant was uncomfortable, you experienced some of the best memories with satoru this year: your trip to mexico gifted from touya, your surprise pregnancy announcement, asking shoko to be baby gojo’s godmother, and all the special intimate moments with satoru. your unborn baby was already so loved by everyone. you couldn't have asked for a better accidental pregnancy.
you and satoru laid on the couch together all afternoon, enjoying each other's presence in this chaotic life for jujutsu sorcerers. catoru purred and slept next to you two on the chaise, your spirit birds perched on their stands as they watched over the apartment. you dozed in and out of sleep throughout the day as sleep was rare for you lately.
you felt satoru's warm hand on your belly again, you held his hand and lifted your head, emerald greens looking towards him.
"babe, i have a serious question." you said softly.
raising your hand to kiss your knuckles, he asked you curiously, "and what's your serious question?"
"are you ready to be a dilf?" you laughed.
"are you ready to be a milf?" he asked you back, chuckling, "cause you are definitely a milf, babe."
you smiled at satoru as he continued to plant soft kisses on your hand, "yeah, i'm ready to evict baby gojo."
little did you and satoru know, baby gojo would break your water next week to make their dramatic entrance into the world. yours and satoru's lives would be forever altered.
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satoru and oc gojo girlfriend go on a baby moon from week 27, read the bonus chapter, ‘baby moon’ here.
or are you ready to meet baby gojo? read the next chapter, ‘hello baby’ here.
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© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.
DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG
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z3rinn · 8 months
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# #. GROCERY STORE !! pt. 2
a part 2 to my grocery store post !! This time it contains scarabia - diasomania ! ahem- going grocery shopping is usually a mundane task, boring and usual. that is until the twst boys want to join you in your outing. you just hoped nothing would go wrong this time… for once…
Sorry this took so long to get out !! I hope you all enjoy !! ♡
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# #. KALIM AL-ASIM
Going grocery shopping with Kailm is definitely an experience. Its basically like bringing a kid to a candy store. He is ogling at everything around him. That's when you realize he's probably never even been to a grocery store-
By the way he's running around and pointing at everything- putting as many things in the cart as possible- (which you would not be able to pay for) you would like to place him in the baby seat of the cart, but alas he can't fit. So you just settle for placing him in the cart instead. Its at times like this you can imagine where Jamil is coming from. But its ok because he's a cutie patootie and i love him w all my heart- Oh! And just know that he finds the ride absolutely delightful.
Kalim tries to take turns with you when riding the cart, pushing you around the store while laughing happily. He walks into aisles youve never even seen before, showing off weird things that are fascinating to the both of you. Like that self washing cup! Or those lava lamps that costs well over 5000 thamarks !! But he could easily pay for them. You never thought grocery shopping could be so fun- and so you can't help but smile back at his amusement, joining along as the two of you ran around target.
9/10 it's a little overwhelming at first, yet going with him just makes you happy beyond words. Plus he pays!
# #. JAMIL VIPER
Jamil is obviously one of the best people to go grocery shopping with. He's a food expert, and he knows exactly what to get and do while there. Plus, he is most likely tagging along with you to get some things for the Scarabian kitchens.
As I said, Jamil's a food expert, and he knows just what to buy and get while out. Like I said in my previous post, Ruggie knows how to haggle with grocery store managers- and I think Jamil does too. He knows what products are the best, yet are also the cheapest, it's not like he's paying with Kalim's money. (Although he did offer to give you his card!) Jamil is also the type to not get distracted while out, so whenever you try to but something you definitely don't need, he'll snap you back in place.
While out with him make sure not to buy any frozen food, as it'll make him think your prefer that over his fresh and healthier food. And he'll give you a judging look due to it. Oh! And he's gonna cling to you the entire time. This is one of the only moments he'll be able to hang out with you without having to worry about any of his duties and Kalim. So don't question it if he holds on to you or if he's pressed up against you the entire time.
10/10, I'd go with him any day of the week. It doesn't even have to be to the grocery store smh.
# #. VIL SCHOENHEIT
Vil is taking you to some fancy ass grocery store. Like whole foods or sprouts, maybe even the mall. Or whatever the twst equivalent is. As if he'll you just go to some random grocery store- And with him- it's not gonna be all fun and games -_-
He immediately takes you to the veggie and fruits section, piling on good enough amounts of spinach, broccoli, tomatoes. He also buys fruit for his homeade smoothies, those will make your skin glow for days afterwards. It's annoying- you just want your chips- but you cant because of the preservatives. You just want some cookies. Yet you cant. Honestly you were this close to just falling to the floor and crying your heart out like a frenchman. "I JUST WANT MY JUNK FOOD" Shopping with him just seems like a chore instead of something fun tbh.
He's right in front of the cart, dropping only the necessities into it. You were this close to running him over the cart if he slapped your hand one more time for trying to reach out to the chips. He gives you a glare, and tries to resist your puppy eyes. With a click of his tounge he eventually does calm down, dropping a bag of Cheshire Chips into the cart. He might allow it if you come over to Pomefiore to do some face masks with him.
5/10. It's like going shopping with a mom or like a weight trainer or smth. You understand why he's doing this of course- But theres no funny business with him. Zero. Sigh. Well he pays at least. I LOVE HIM I SWEAR-
# #. ROOK HUNT
When Rook notices you walking out of the broken down building you were staying in, from the tree right above your house, he obviously offered to accompany you on your endeavor! Even when you told him you were just going to the grocery store a part of him just couldn't help but be overjoyed. Oh how he just loved being out with you!
Rook is notorious for loving the smallest of details- the simplest things in life. So going to a grocery store and seeing all the beautiful people surrounding him- along with the gorgeous displays of food made his heart practically smile. You watch as he holds an apple in his hands, raising it up to the sky with a glorious smile on his face. (You're this close to just walking away-) He's humming in joy as he recites a poem of the luscious, juicy, red apple to you. Very fun !!
Meanwhile- when Rook is not being a hopeless romantic for apples, the huntsman is all fun and games !! He's straight up singing in the store, admiring anything and everything. He watches as you shop for groceries, a smile on his face. Rook lets you sit in the cart whenever you get tired, pushing you across the store while humming to himself lightly. Just don't say you're getting tired while going back. He'll carry you all the way back.
8/10- he's a bit over bearing at times. But its Rook so like what can you say about it? I love Rook yall.
# #. EPEL FELMIER
Epel is tagging along for two very important reasons! Firstly, his family has branched out to stores all across twisted wonderland- and he obviously has to make sure the quality and presentation were absolutely perfect! Secondly, he gets to hang out with you!
Epel makes his way to the fruits aisle first, dragging you along with a bright smile. His excitement is slowly seeping into you, causing you to laugh yourself. The two of you make your way to the fruits section, the both of you gawking and jumping up and down happily. After that little moment its basically a normal shopping spree. He has experience in going out to the grocery store with his family- so he helps out with practically everything!
He tries to show off as much as he can. He'll help out with the water packets, and baskets carrying them if your hands get tired. He will jump up to grab the snacks you need- that might be too high for you reach. Speaking of snacks - Being out with you lets Epel get junk food and snacks that Vil would NEVER allow- so maybe the two of you can sneak them in the middle of the night.
10/10 !! One of the best to go with! He doesn't bother you whatsover and is very helpful. Guys I love Epel so much KDHDVFTSSKS
# #. IDIA SHROUD
Uhhh- your more likely going to a electronics store- and then maybe stopping at the grocery store on the way back. There's NO way Idia would ever go out to a grocery store on his own. Especially if Doordash exists. But if you stop by an electronics store first, and you need a handsome firey head boy to show you around the store. How could he ever refuse??
He felt like a prince, leading you through his castle while showing off all his prized possessions. While in reality he was just walking through Best Buy or something, and was being an unemployed clerk. He probably pays for your electronics- or maybe he says he'll just make them for you! His designs are 100 times better obviously. However on your way out, he doesn't expect you to point out the whole foods or twst version is across the street.
He basically just sticks to you like a shadow while out. The poor dormleader can't help but be scared that people are gonna judge him for being blue all over. That is until you tell him this was your little shojou moment. Walking out in a supermarket together, inspecting what brand of eggs or milk you should get. It's the whole package! Well obviously now he can't complain. But now he might be just a bit too excited to be here.
6/10 Honestly if you needed groceries that badly you could've just asked him to order from online. Doordash is sooo much easier that doing it the plain (and scary) way.
# #. ORTHO SHROUD
Ortho probably tagged along to experience the "real" life. He's seen families on TV before- and he can't help but crave that domestic lifestyle. So when you ask if he wants to tag along- how could he ever refuse?
He's buzzing with excitement! Hovering around the grocery store with stars in his eyes. Usually he orders groceries from the comfort of his brother's dorm- it's a lot easier that way- but going outside is just so fun !! Ortho might even switch to his P.E form, as it'll make it easier for him to walk around the store like you! Although, he does want to try riding in the cart, it's something that everyone wants at least once in their lives- so how could you say no?
He's very helpful too, it's common courtesy since you took him out in the first place. He's able to reach high places and doesn't have trouble carrying the heavy things. Another plus is if your shy (like his brother) he's able to scan the store and find whatever you're looking for- without asking any employees for help! Sweetie pie fr.
10/10. He's one of the best to go with! Plus no complaints here (like his older brother)
# #. MALLEUS DRACONIA
Malleus? Why does he go??? He just wants to hang out with you. And maybe see how human grocery stores are nowadays. But its mainly the first one. Perhaps when the two of you are out on one of your nightly walks- you suddenly remember that, "Oh no! You forgot to get groceries!!" And now you have to take a menacing dragon man out with you.
Like others, Malleus tags along behind you, inspecting the many products and items in the aisles. He asks questions about products he finds interesting, he'll inspect all the different kinds of fruits (dragon fruits especially), and he'll find different products to try out. He'll always ask you for help too, asking if something is good enough to get. Like that tamagotchi in the corner !! He should get a bunch of friends for Roaring Drago...
He's so oblivious and confused it's kind of funny. Just imagine being a little kid and seeing a giant- like a literal GIANT- standing in the ice cream aisle inspecting the icecream sandwiches. Kinda silly ngl. Wait- what this- your phone is buzzing now? Who? Sebek? Wondering where Waka-sama is? Uh oh.
7/10! It's like going out w a kid whose never been to the outside world- but in a fun way. It would be higher if he told Lilia or Sebek he was tagging along tho... hopefully you don't go deaf from sebek yelling !
# #. LILIA VANROUGE
Did you bring him along? No! Of course not! Should you have noticed he was trailing behind you? Yes! But you didn't because he's an old fae that has experience? Right again! Does that excuse you? No. Obviously not. It's a rule by almost everyone in the dorm. Never bring Lilia grocery shopping. But your dumbass still did.
Well as long as he didn't feed you the food it was fine- right? So you'll let him tag along i guess. Lilia is the type to sit in the cart as you drag him around the store, and he only really gets out when he needs something. You guys probably stop by the spices aisle like 10 times- you feel bad for those in diasomania who are eating that mush. He tells you about the stores in Briar Valley and how he would take silver out when he was but a boy.
It's nice to listen to him as he drops another (that's 15) box of noodles into your hands- again, you feel bad for the people who are going to eat this. You guys probably bulk up on food while there- I mean it's totally not like Lilia has a butt load of money from being an old ass general right? And of course hes not gonna spoil you because your the best right? Yeah of course nottt. Just be careful at the end of your trip. As compensation for taking him with you he might offer to make you something.... and it might be a bit rude to say no....
9/10 ! It's nice listening to him talk- but uhm like many before this- you won't make it through his ...amazing... cooking skills.
# #. SILVER
Silver had spent most of his life living with fae and not many humans. Briar Valley doesnt have many grocery stores- instead being filled with various farmer markets and merchant's. Meaning he'd never been to a grocery store!! So obviously you had to invite him.
Silver is straight up just following you. He's wandering silently like a little cat, trailing from behind. He's looking around with a hint of curiosity. The store was very different from Sam’s- bigger and more luminous. It had a certain vibe to it. He liked it though, it was oddly comforting. Silver usually sticks to himself, but you can tell when something is confusing him. Take the dragon fruit for example, when he saw it a slight chuckle escaped his lips. It looked so different compared to the dragons and longs he’d met before. You couldn't help but laugh yourself- It’s fun watching him experience something new.
Silver is a very reliable man, if you ever need any help he won’t hesitate to jump in. He will help with the cart, the heavy groceries, the water jugs that weigh a mountain load. As you all know- Silver gets tired (and omg he's so pretty thats not fair) and wont hestiate to fall alseep on you if he ever gets tired. So easy solution: just put him in the cart and bury him in food. It’s easier to drag him that way. (instead of him sprawling on top of you)
10/10. Love him. I love HIM. HIIIMMMM. I LOVVVEEEEE HIM. RAAAAAAHHHH-
# #. SEBEK ZIGVOLT
There's no way in wonderland Sebek would ever go with you! He has duties to attend to! He has a beautiful, mystical, enchanting prince to protect!! Malleus was of the upmost importance, why would he ever go with a dumb human like you? You didnt matter compared to his leige-- Lilia is making him accompany you.
At first Sebek will grumble to himself, upset he couldn't stay with the majestic Malleus. Yet he soon remembers (you reminded him) that Lilia was the one to tell him to accompany you. So he immediately assumes this is a type of training for him !! Oh and now he's bragging that he got to join you on this trip instead of Silver- oh boy-
Like others, Sebek will help. Uhm. But like- loudly. As he carries the bags he will ask if you notice how strong and capable he is, a smirk on his face. And then he goes on a rant about Malleus. Whenever you need something you can't reach he will help, with a "human" comment on the tip of his tounge. And then he goes on about Malleus. It's kind of funny though not gonna lie- seeking a giant man boasting while getting groceries of all things. Very fun!
3/10. But a nine in my heart. He's so silly. Anyway. GRAAAHHH- I WANNA PULL HIS HAIR OUT (in a loving way !!)
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bro-atz · 4 months
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safe word: evergreen — ivy
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in which: seonghwa wants to try something he's never done before, and luckily for you, you're just the person that can help.
pair: sub!seonghwa/dominatrix!afab!reader
word count: 3.8k
content: smut, reader is (much) older, dominatrix, pegging, brief mommy kink, bdsm, sadism, masochism, toys, spanking, handcuffs, milking, completely consensual!
author's note: so several things: thank you @jeolmeunday for requesting age gap!hwa for the 500 event— i might not have done it for the event, but it definitely inspired me greatly so i just had to do it; i have a dominatrix friend who pegged this guy i was seeing once upon a time and just hearing about it from both sides was so yummy to hear i knew i had to write about it at some point, and i've been obsessed w sub!hwa for far too long now so i just wanted to share the love (-: enjoy y'all
tag list: @k-hotchoisan @eyeryis @sinnarols @aaasia111 @sunshineangel-reads @hwallazia @dazzlingstarrs apply for the permanent taglist here! network: @cromernet part one | part two (coming soon) | part three (coming soon)
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Seonghwa was drunkenly babbling to you. His friend and roommate, Hongjoong, had long abandoned him to try his luck with some of the ladies at another table, leaving the pretty wasted man with you. Normally, you would’ve just told him to fuck off and leave you alone with your tequila pineapple, but you decided not to because he was pretty and he only got prettier the redder his face got. Also, he was talking about your favorite subject: sex.
“I mean,” Seonghwa sighed. “I don’t know… I’ve always wanted to try something new.”
“Like what?”
“Uh, well… So… Uh…”
“Spit it out, pretty boy,” you said with a light chuckle but also slight annoyance.
Seonghwa’s face got the tiniest bit redder— he had a serious case of Asian flush, but your compliment enhanced it all the bit more. That, and he was about to admit something completely embarrassing to him.
“I’m like… Not really able to get it up sometimes… So I wanna try out some stuff…” he mumbled, but you were still able to hear him clearly.
“So what you’re saying is that you want to experiment with what turns you on?”
“Yeah.”
“What’ve you discovered so far?”
“So far? Nothing… I haven’t tried anything yet, but I did read that there’s a place in a guy’s butt that usually… It’s supposed to feel good.”
“You want to try anal?” you asked, excitement starting to prick at your nerves.
“Yeah…”
“Now the question becomes do you want to have sex with a guy?”
“I mean, I’m not opposed… But truthfully, anyone will do… Like… P-p-p…” Seonghwa started struggling to actually spit the words out.
“Pegging?”
“Y-yeah…”
Seonghwa was fully embarrassed by that point— he may have been drunk, but he was still revealing his deepest, darkest desires to a random stranger who was totally judging him. But he did not know that you weren’t judging him at all. No, in fact, you were loving every single second of the interaction.
“Tell you what, pretty boy,” you said, making the man blush all over again. “Here’s my card. Call me, and I’ll let you have your first session for free.”
You slipped him your card, winked, then bid adieu to both him and the bartender. Right before you fully left, though, you ran your fingers through his hair, letting your nails lightly graze his scalp before leaving a fluttering kiss on his exposed temple. Seonghwa fully shivered and got slightly turned on, the blood rushing to his pelvis as you whispered in his ear, “I’ll be waiting for that call, pretty boy.”
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Seonghwa was crying, but he was anything but upset. He was being degraded by you, and while he was in pain, he wanted more. He wanted more than he was getting with his face pressed into the plush pillow below him, the blindfold over his eyes keeping him in the dark, the tight clamps pinching his nipples until they turned another color, the uncomfortable rubbing and chafing of the handcuffs on his wrists and ankles, and the cock ring squeezing the base of his length with no mercy. He wanted to cry more, feel more violated, feel more degraded.
And you were going to make that happen. You came up from behind him and rubbed your large, thick strap-on along his ass crack while taking his hard on into your hand. You stroked him slowly and hushed him in his ear, the mans cries turning into mere whimpers.
“Pretty boy, what did mommy say?” you whispered into his ear sensually.
“T-to— Hnngh— St-stay quiet…”
“Then why do you keep making noise?”
You slapped his ass with a semi-firm hand, earning a hiccup from him as his body lurched. He quickly clamped his mouth to keep any more incriminating noises from leaving his soul, then choked out quietly, “I’m sorry, mommy.”
“It’s okay, my pretty boy. Just listen to mommy, and she’ll make you feel good.”
Seonghwa managed a weak nod, his lower lip quivering with excitement. His toes curled when your nails grazed the tip of his cock, and his back arched when he felt you squirt cold lube all over his ass, the strap-on now gliding along his asscrack.
With the assistance of the lube, you sank two fingers into Seonghwa’s tight, little hole. You widened his hole, your fingers spreading inside him as you prepared him for the monster cock you were about to sink into him. Seonghwa bit down on his lower lip hard the more you spread his hole. He relaxed slightly when you withdrew your fingers, giving you the perfect opportunity to shove the strap-on into his pretty little asshole. A loud gasp escaped Seonghwa’s mouth when he felt the cock shove all the way in him, the sound of the slap of your waist against his ass overpowering his noises.
Tears streamed down Seonghwa’s face as he choked back the accumulating moans that accompanied your rough thrusts, and he felt his orgasm building the more the cock moved in and out. It was when you rubbed against his prostate did the man…
Wake up.
Seonghwa blinked sleep out of his eyes as the effects of the dream slipped away from him, confusion filling his brain instead of the horny hormones that once rampaged it. Realization hit him a couple of minutes after he woke up and laid in bed, and with great hesitation, Seonghwa lifted his duvet to confirm the worst.
He had a wet dream. At his age, Seonghwa had a wet dream, and he had a wet dream about the stranger, the woman he met at the bar the previous night.
Luckily for Seonghwa, after he fully awoke, he saw Hongjoong in the kitchen nursing his own hangover, and he saw the business card on the kitchen island.
“Hey, uh, Joong?” Seonghwa asked. “Where’d this come from?”
“Fuck if I know, man,”  Hongjoong groaned. “You’re the one that brought it home.”
“I did?” Seonghwa mumbled half to himself.
He picked up the card and saw only two things on the card: your phone number, and a singular word: EVERGREEN.
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To say he was nervous would be an understatement. Seonghwa was practically neurotic. He had called your number and asked to meet with you, and you chose the coffee shop he was sitting in. He got there well ahead of time, definitely adding to his anxiety as he patiently waited for you in silent fear.
Then, you arrived. Seonghwa’s drunken memory didn’t do you justice. You were so fucking gorgeous compared to what his blurry eyes showed him the night he met you. He couldn’t remember what you were wearing that night, but that day, in front of him, you were wearing a grey pencil skirt, a black top with a low cut, and black, knee high boots that made Seonghwa nearly drool, accentuating your body with a beautiful flourish. And when you brought that beautiful body closer to the sitting man with a cup of coffee in hand, he nearly lost his sanity.
“Hey, pretty boy,” you greeted— making him blush furiously— and took a seat in front of him. “I was glad to hear from you.”
“Y-yeah?” Seonghwa nearly bit his tongue, and that too for a word with only one syllable and no harsh noises.
“Yeah. You’re super cute, you know that?”
You didn’t think it was possible, but Seonghwa blushed harder. Clearing his throat, he tried to thwart your very well deserved compliments.
“S-so, your business card…” he started.
“Yeah? What about it?”
“You’re a… A…”
Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence— he didn’t realize he would have such a hard time saying the word in public.
“A dominatrix? Well, by night, yes. By day, I’m a broker.”
He didn’t think it was possible, but you were impressing him even more with each revealed detail about you.
“Wow…” he breathed out.
“And you’re a singer, right? I think that’s what you told me the other night.”
“Y-yeah, I am.”
“That’s cool,” you nodded and took a sip of your coffee. “Impressive.”
“Th-thank you…”
Not once in his life was he ever this flustered, and it was really getting to him to the point where he could feel himself actually starting to get turned on with just the tiniest amount of praise from someone as beautiful and spectacular as you.
“So, sweetie,” you started explaining. “Here’s the deal. Like I said, your first one is on the house, so you just let me know when—”
“Now,” Seonghwa interrupted, surprising both you and himself.
“Now?!” you choked on your coffee then started laughing. “You’re so eager, aren’t you, pretty boy?”
“I— I mean— I just—”
“You’re so cute, oh God, I just wanna stick you in my pocket,” you continued to giggle. “But, right now, I’m actually on my lunch break. I’ll just text you the address and time. Tonight okay?”
“Yes, please,” Seonghwa replied quickly— the bulge in his pants was only getting tighter.
“Alright, pretty boy. I’ll see you tonight.”
With that, you got up and waved at him slightly before sashaying out of the cafe, making Seonghwa fall in love with even the way you leave. He was smitten, honestly.
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Seonghwa didn’t mean to be early, so he waited in his car until it was about two minutes before your agreed upon time. He was nervous, but excited, and all of the emotions swirling in his brain and body was making him either want to fall over or… Fall over. He was seriously losing it.
He waited for almost thirty seconds after ringing the doorbell for you to answer the door— not that he was counting. And the second the door opened, Seonghwa’s jaw dropped to the fucking floor.
Standing before him was you wearing platform heel boots that were even sexier than the ones you had on earlier that day, fishnet stockings, a leather corset that made your bosom pop and shine, and your hair up in a slick, tight ponytail while wielding a riding crop.
“You’re starting to catch flies, pretty boy,” you couldn’t help but laugh. “Come in.”
Seonghwa, doing his very best, snapped out of it and walked into the apartment. You led him to the bedroom— not to be mistaken with your bedroom— with your entire set up. The room was filled with red and purple lights, a black steel frame bed with a canopy and handcuffs all over the frame. Also attached to the frame was a swing, and any flat ledge was decorated with candles. Various toys of various sizes for all genders were lined up on the wall, and Seonghwa couldn’t help but stare at all of them because, dear God, you had so many. And in the corner of the room was another door to the bathroom.
 “Alright, pretty boy,” you walked up right behind Seonghwa and whispered, your lips near his ear, your voice sensual as fuck. “So what I want you to do is go to the bathroom right over there, wash up completely, dry up, and come back here completely naked. Sound good?”
“Y-yes… Um…” Seonghwa audibly struggled— he didn’t know how to refer to you.
“You can call me whatever you’d like, sweetie, since it’s your first time and all.”
“…Ma’am?”
“Whatever tickles your fancy, love.”
With a beet red face, Seonghwa nodded and made his way to the bathroom. He did exactly as you asked, and maybe a little more, before returning to the room to see you sitting on the bed with your legs crossed and your riding crop in hand looking ready to punish. Seonghwa’s dick twitched upon the sight, his body flushing with warmth as he started to get turned on.
“Perfect,” you said as you laid eyes on the beautiful, naked man. “Sit.”
Seonghwa was about to sit on the bed next to you, but immediately stopped when you slapped his thigh with the riding crop.
“On the ground,” you said with the slightest bit of annoyance.
Quickly obeying, Seonghwa knelt before you, his hands on his knees. You took the riding crop and placed it right under his chin, bringing his head up so he would look right at you. You ran it along his jaw and gave him a small smile, a red blush covering his cheeks and nose as you stared him down.
“Let me go over some ground rules for today’s session,” you started. “I’m going to be very tame with you, meaning I won’t call you names, I won’t actually inflict pain— I just want you to get a feel for this because if this isn’t your thing, I don’t want to push you too far. With me so far?”
The man responded with a singular nod.
“The safe word is evergreen. It will always and forever be evergreen, okay?”
Another nod.
“We’ll start simple today. You wanted someone to peg you, right? We’ll do that.”
“U-um, ma’am?
“Yes, Seonghwa?”
That was the first time you uttered his name and didn’t call him a nickname— Seonghwa was smitten all over again, and he began blushing like crazy.
“C-could you also, um…” he mumbled.
“Speak louder, sweetie. What do you want?”
“Could you also spank me?” he asked with a little more confidence.
“Of course, pretty boy,” you couldn’t help but giggle. “Anything you want.”
“A-and! And could you maybe… Handcuff me?”
“Okay, how about you tell me what you don’t want to do.”
“I want to do it all.”
You laughed loudly— Seonghwa’s enthusiasm was refreshing and honestly super cute. He was staring up at you with the biggest, most sparkly eyes, and it took everything in you to keep yourself from grabbing his beautiful face and leaving kisses all over it.
Seonghwa, meanwhile, was even more infatuated with you and your style and your laugh— the more he got to know you, the more in love he fell.
“I’ll only do so much today, okay? Alright, pretty boy. Get up, stand right here, and bend over.”
You got off the bed and gestured for him to replace your spot. Doing exactly as you asked, Seonghwa felt the excitement rise within him as his arms pressed down on the bench that was part of what he could only describe as a playset.
After Seonghwa got fully situated, you stood behind him and hooked your ankle with his before spreading his legs. You cuffed his ankles to the legs of the bench then took another pair of cuffs and handcuffed him behind his back. Once everything was secure in place, you pulled his head back and brushed your lips against his ear.
“Remember, the safe word is evergreen.”
Without waiting for a response, you grabbed lube from one of the shelves on the wall and squirted a good amount onto his ass— just like you did in his wet dream about you. And you fingered him, just like you did in his wet dream. The feeling, though, was definitely not like what he was expecting in his dream. In fact, it felt was more amazing to the pointed that he moaned loudly.
Meanwhile, you were surprised because your finger slipped in way easier than it should’ve.
“Did you loosen yourself up for me already, pretty boy?”
“Y-yes, ma’am,” he admitted— not going to lie, he was kind of scared that it was going to hurt if he didn’t try it himself first.
“What a good boy.”
Fuck. Seonghwa loved hearing that from your pretty lips.
“You’re so nice and loose for me. I love it,” you continued.
You grabbed his ass and squeezed tightly, Seonghwa’s body flinching upon the feeling, his ears immediately turning bright red. You leaned over his body and whispered in his ear, You’ve got such a nice body, Seonghwa. I want to absolutely wreck it.”
“Please do, ma’am.”
Immediately, you spanked his ass, the sound resonating in the room along with a sonorous moan from the naked man bending and spreading before you.
“You want more of that?” you asked, not that you had to based off his reaction.
“Y-yes, please!”
And so, you spanked him again, but this time with the riding crop. Seonghwa’s ass stung, but he was loving it, which you could definitely tell thanks the moans that left his lungs with every slap. You spanked him over and over again, each impact stronger than the last. Seonghwa’s tongue hung out of his mouth, and he was beginning to drool on the table, his lips curling into a half-smile. He was absolutely loving this, and you had yet to do anything but spank him.
“You’re a complete masochist, pretty boy. Did you know that?”
“Now I know,” Seonghwa breathed out blissfully.
“Mmm, yes. God, I just want to eat you up. You’re such a fucking cutie.”
You stopped spanking him and disappeared for half a second to grab the strap-on before returning to the man. You ran your hands from his shoulders down to his waist, causing him to twitch as your every touch. He was so unbelievably turned on, and he only got more turned on when you spread his ass cheeks wide.
“You remember the safe word, right?” you asked him, your voice nearly purring.
“Evergreen.”
“Good boy.”
Rubbing the strap-on along his ass crack, you stuck your two pointer fingers into his hole and stretched him open. Once you got him as relaxed and open as you needed him to be, you shoved the cock into his asshole.
Seonghwa flung his head back and let out a choking moan, his whole body reacting to being filled up by you. You watched him breathe heavily, spit trickling down the corners of his mouth, and you observed his red, hard, angry cock trickle out pre-cum rapidly. You pulled out slightly then thrust suddenly into him once more, cum immediately spurting out and covering the hardwood floor below the bench, and he only came more with one more thrust, then another.
“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Seonghwa cried and whimpered, his entire body shaking as cum leaked from him uncontrollably.
You wanted to tease him, but in the same breath, you also wanted to see how much more you could milk out of him just by fucking him roughly from behind. So, holding onto his waist, your fingers digging into his soft skin, you fucked him hard. Your hips rammed into his and made the whole bench move as you fucked him relentlessly, his groans and cries filling up the room.
“M-Ma’am,” Seonghwa whined in between his loud moans and whimpers. “T-too good!”
“You like that, pretty boy?” you asked. “You want more?”
Seonghwa could barely respond. He could only nod. He whimpered loudly when you pulled out, his legs trembling when your strap-on rubbed against his prostate so perfectly to the point where he came again. Crying and panting, he completely collapsed on the bench. As he laid there and tried to catch his breath, you worked on freeing him from the cuffs. The cuffs fell to the ground as you tossed them aside before patting his ass lightly.
“Seonghwa, turn around for me,” you whispered sultrily.
“Ye— Hic!— Yes ma’am,” Seonghwa hiccuped.
Doing as you asked, the man stood up on his wobbly legs and turned for you, his back pressing against bench. You ran your hands up his thighs and rested them on his waist while bringing your lips to his but not kissing him— not quite yet. You brushed your lips against his pout and teased him lightly, your strap-on rubbing along his hard-on in the process.
“Would you like me to kiss you, pretty boy?” you breathed out.
“Yes…” Seonghwa responded breathily. “Yes, please.”
Seonghwa tasted exactly how you expected him to: sweet and desperate. His shaking hand found its way to your hair and held the back of your head as if he was clinging to the remaining shreds of his sanity as you locked lips passionately. He let quiet moans of desire slip from his lips the more you kissed him, willing you to cup the underside of this thigh and bring his leg up so that it wrapped around your waist.
Positioning the strap-on, you teased his hole before suddenly thrusting up harshly, Seonghwa choking out a moan of sweet bliss as you did so. His grasp on your hair got tighter, and his knuckles nearly turned white as he gripped the bench.
With one hand planted firmly on his on his waist, your other hand started stroking his cock, the quivering tip leaking out more white. In between kisses, Seonghwa let out little grunts and moans as he tried desperately to keep himself from cumming again, but when your hand went a little further and massaged his balls, his cum spurt upwards, decorating his bare chest and your slutty lingerie.
Next thing he knew, Seonghwa’s back was pressed into the soft mattress of the bed in the room, your silicone cock deep inside him. You squeezed and pinched various parts of his body as you thrust slowly but deeply, the man’s body shivering with excitement at your every move. He had cum so many times by that point that his cum was near clear, but he was still horny and lusting for you. You watched as his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he shuddered and came once more, his hands reaching backwards for the pillows so he could dig his nails into the sheets.
Honestly, you’d never been exhausted like this before. You’d had plenty of clients who had tapped out after cumming three measly times, but Seonghwa seemed to keep wanting to go even though he was cumming to the point where nothing seemed to come out anymore, yet he came yet again when you completely pulled out of him and sat above him, your knees straddling him.
“Look at you all fucked out under me, pretty boy,” you cooed as you tucked his sweaty locks behind his ear. “You don’t have anything left in the bank, but you still want me to rail you?”
“P-Please,” Seonghwa murmured. “F-Feels so… So good…”
“Seonghwa, darling, if I fuck you any more, you won’t be able to walk out of here.”
“Then… Fuck me again…”
“Again?”
You chuckled and laid alongside him, your arms wrapping around him as you brought him into your chest. He buried his nose in your cleavage and took a deep, satisfying breath of your bosom.
“Not today… But another day,” he mumbled shyly, his face still hidden from your view.
Cupping his cheek, you brought his head up so you could look into his bleak yet blissful half-lidded eyes, a cute little smile resting on his lips. You kissed his forehead and smoothed out his hair, the man hugging you closer in response.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Seonghwa continued softly. “What’re your rates?”
“For you, pretty boy? Free,” you answered definitively. “Just don’t find another bitch who’ll fuck you, and I’ll always be yours.”
“Don’t worry about that. You’re the only one I need.”
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chilumi-shipper · 1 year
Text
Forget and Regret (2)
Kamisato Ayato x Fem!Reader
Summary: Part 2 of "Forget and Regret", Ayato is being plagued by dreams, you think he doesn't need you anymore, but for some reason, he really can't just leave you alone. Many moments of pain came before comfort.
Tags: Angst w/ happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, Crying, A little swearing, Maybe a little naughty in the end (nothing explicit)
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Ayato walked into the room, his eyes landing on a girl lying on his bed, her shoulders shaking as little sobs filled the quiet room.
Her figure was covered by a blanket, and though he could not see her up front, he knew that she was clutching the sheets to her chest.
"Love?" He called out for the girl, the endearment falling naturally from his lips.
The girl did not look at him, but he knows that he's gained her attention.
She tried to control her breath, trying not to make her shallow and sobbing breaths obvious.
"I-I'm sorry..." The girl said in such a small and quiet voice, the stuttering making it obvious that she had been crying. "I k-know it's stupid, b-but I just wanted to give you a g-gift." Ayato had been hearing a lot of this 'gift' thing. He has no idea what is happening, yet the sight of the girl crying in front of him just makes him want to coddle her and make her feel better.
"I should say my apologies as well, my love..." His mouth moved on its own, letting him say words for which he did not know the context. "I didn't mean to lose my temper. I may have been angry, but I would never ever dream of hurting you." 
"I-I regret not saying this sooner, my dear Y/-"
The Yashiro Commissioner stirred awake, groaning as his eyes slowly opened.
He grabbed a pillow by his side and covered his face with it. 
Yet another dream, of the same girl, no less.
And every single time, every waking moment after a dream like that, Ayato felt like his heart was being vigorously tugged on, a sense of regret oozing from the back of his mind. And try as he might, no explanation ever arose to answer his questions.
So, just like every time that this happened, he shrugged off the feelings conveyed by the dreams before finally getting out of bed.
...
"Have you heard? The Commissioner and his wife had a fight." You hear the whispered rumours of some of the workers in the estate, making you sigh.
"Yeah, but people have been saying that she left him. Here she is now, though, so maybe it's all just exaggerated." 
"No! I was here a few weeks ago, and I heard the Lord himself screaming angrily. Could it be that he was mad at Lady Kamisato?" 
"Could be, not to mention that Lady Ayaka has been acting weird lately. She's taking over all of the Lord's duties; I wonder what's happening inside their home."
"Ladies, please. Let's all just stop with all the gossip and get to work?" Thoma approached the workers gathered around to talk about the Kamisato siblings and you, keeping his polite smile as he asked them to get back to work.
After the group got back to their duties, the blonde walked up to you.
"My lady." He addressed you like always, making you look down a bit. "The Shuumatsuban thanks you for your generous donations and help on their mission against the Fatui."
Lately, you've been going back to the estate, both to gather your things without attracting attention and to pay back for what you did a few weeks back.
You also did some digging around the Fatui in Inazuma; it took quite a while, and though it almost got you in danger with the organization, you got a few useful pieces of information for the Shuumatsuban. You feel that this is only appropriate because you accidentally sabotaged them before.
"Umm, please tell them that I'm glad I could do something good for them." You smiled at him, feeling a little bit flustered. Your interactions with Thoma have been very awkward lately; he's still against what you're doing with Ayato. "Thanks for everything, Thoma." 
He merely nods before watching you walk out of the estate, presumably going back home.
"I didn't know that she worked here." The retainer heard his lord's voice from behind him, making him turn around to face him. "I wish I had the chance to talk to her again." Thoma noticed how Ayato's blueish-purple eyes followed the trail you walked on, perhaps thinking about you as he did so.
This is why he thinks what you're doing is silly. One look at his lord and he sees the interest in you oozing from him, even at his current state.
"Well, technically, she doesn't work here. But she plays a very important role in the estate." Thoma clarified, making the periwinkle-haired man think.
"Oh, what do you mean by that, Thoma?" The Commissioner asked curiously.
"Well, though I do want to explain, I know it would be far better if she did so herself, my lord." He left it at that, not letting Ayato press further.
...
"Hi."
As you were fixing everything up at the front of the Kamisato Estate, you heard a familiar voice coming from behind you.
You turned around, your eyes meeting another pair that looked pleased to see you. "Y/N, I was hoping to see you again." Ayato said with a smile.
Your breath hitched, you instinctively walked a little away from him.
"Oh, no need to be nervous or anything. I mean, I know I'm kind of an important figure or something, but..." He cleared his throat, chuckling a little. "I hope that I don't scare you away."
You sighed, bowing your head. "Lord Kamisato, I'm just finishing up my work."
"No need for formalities, you can just call me Ayato. After all, I owe you my life." He stated, walking a bit closer to you. "Thank you again, I can't stress that enough."
You couldn't look up at his face, not up his smiling and gentle face, at least not while keeping yourself from bursting to tears, admitting that you're his wife and that you did something that made him resent you.
He looked at your timid form, your hands clasped together tightly. Perhaps he should do something to ease the tension you were feeling.
"Once again, you're welcome, my lord. I..." His ears perked, he heard you sniffle, and he could've sworn that your hand reached up to your face to wipe a tear away.
It's all too familiar for him for some reason.
He has no idea what is happening, yet the sight of the girl crying in front of him just makes him want to coddle her and make her feel better.
"I'm... g-gonna take my leave now." You quickly ran away from him, making Ayato look at your running figure in shock.
He truly did not expect you to be overwhelmed just by talking to him.
And he couldn't explain why, but something in him screamed to run after you and hug you and tell you that everything is okay and that he's sorry.
...Are you... her?
...
Everyday after that encounter, it seems that the periwinkle-haired man was always there by you're side, trying to initiate a conversation.
You've gotten better at containing yourself around him. But still, you'd rather him not be there, you'd rather not be on the brink of heart attack every minute of the day.
Once you realized that he was gonna try and talk to you everytime you go to the estate, you actively tried to spend as little amount of time as possible.
Thoma and Ayaka were not gonna let that happen though.
You were about to leave and take a few days off, but then Thoma approached you. "My lady, Lady Ayaka was hoping that you'd come in tomorrow and help her with the organization of the upcoming festival." He passed on your sister-in-law's message. "Since you've helped my lord with this business before, you might be a great help."
You honestly should have seen this coming. And even if they're making it seem like you had a choice, they knew you'd cave in, they knew you'd come tomorrow and try to help.
They most certainly planned to give Ayato the chance to work on the festival so that you help him with it instead of Ayaka when you came in the next day.
"So... this is my job."
You hated to admit that you were amused with Ayato's reactions to things he had to do.
"Yes, my lov- my lord." He cleared your throat immediately, hoping he didn't catch that mistake. You chastised yourself, for letting your guard down.
"What do we do first?" Though you found his excitement to work again and rediscover what he does for a living very cute and amusing, you stand stiff and focused.
He's not your husband.
You remind yourself constantly as you work on the task at hand.
The cycle continues though, Ayaka and Thoma will make sure that you have a reason to come back to the estate, basically setting Ayato up for at least an hour with you almost everyday.
And you could not even describe how tired you are, tired of constantly being on your guard, tired of pretending to not be his wife.
But this is for him, this is what he wants. He said so himself, you should always remember that.
...
He wants to take you out on a date.
Though Ayato had many conflicting feelings about his situation, and his lost memories, he thought that surely making some nice memories bow would do him some good.
Ayato finds that you are quite shy towards him, never meeting his eyes and always speaking to him in a low and mumbly voice.
He found your mannerisms cute too! Even when you don't look at him much, he often has his eyes on you, seeing how your eyes light up a bit when he says something funny or amusing.
Which is why he asked the help of his sister and his retainer to ask you out on a date around town.
"Y/N, may I talk to you, please?" You heard Ayaka's soft voice call out for you.
You walked up to her. "Umm... Anything I can for you?" Again, awkward interactions because she also doesn't approve of your actions.
"I was thinking, brother really wants to explore around the city, especially since the festival that you both planned starts tomorrow night." You already knew what she was gonna say next.
Thoma stood next to her, "I think my lord feels the most comfortable around you, so why not go with him tonight?"
You sighed, looking at them with a frown. "Guys, please... I-I know what you're doing. Thoma, you heard him! He wants nothing to do with me." Thoma looked at you disapprovingly.
"My lady, Lord Ayato loves you more than anything. Why hurt the both of you like this over things that were said out of angry?"
"Y/N... do you still love my brother?" Ayaka looked at you expectantly, her voice laced with doubt.
You looked at her in disbelief. "...I love him more than anything, words cannot explain just how much." You stated firmly, closing your eyes as a few tears fell from your eyes. "And I know he's better off without me."
Ayaka's hands closed into a fist, "I'm your family too! I love you too! You can't just leave us, not because of a stupid fight!" Tears of her own fell down her face, sobs escaping her mouth.
Thoma held her to make sure she didn't break down to the ground. You stood there in shock, before snapping out of it and cupping Ayaka's face.
"Oh, my dear, I'm sorry." You pulled her into a hug, and she immediately melted into you. "I won't completely vanish. I promise I'll still be here, even if I'm not your sister-in-law anymore." You felt her shake her head on your shoulder.
But she couldn't speak anymore, she merely hugged you and sobbed away. You couldn't help but cry along with her.
...
"Y/N!" You immediately wiped away your tears, hearing Ayato's voice call your name.
Ayaka left you and went back into the house half an hour ago, and you decided to stay for a bit and let some tears out before running off home.
His voice was friendly and cheery, "Thoma and Ayaka said that they talked to you about... Um, you know, tomorrow night..." He scratched the back of his head, acting a bit flustered. "It may seem lame to ask you out using my sister, hehe." He's completely unaware of what happened half an hour prior.
"So what do you say?" He looked at you expectantly.
He's not your husband.
Say no.
"I'll meet you at Uyuu Restaurant at seven."
You wanted to choke yourself to death for being a frustrating and stubborn little bitch.
...
The people of Inazuma aren't aware of what happened to the Yashiro Commissioner, the Kamisato Clan made sure no news ever got leaked. To the eyes of others, it may just look like the Lord of the Kamisato Clan and his wife going out for an evening together, but in reality, everything is just a complicated mess.
And you are extremely tired, so, to finally end everything and let Ayato go, you concocted a plan so that Ayato wouldn't ever want to be with you ever again.
You were gonna be the most infuriating date ever.
Showing up late and putting no effort to how you look, eating a lot, asking for many expensive things, judging his every move, things like that. That should be enough, right?
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
No, it wasn't.
7:10 pm
You walked up to the table Ayato was sitting in. You were in your sleepwear, a purple matching cotton pajamas and top with your hair in a messy bun.
His eyes found yours and he immediately smiled. "You look really cute."
Your mouth dropped, seriously?!
7:20 pm
"I would like Sakura Tempura, a Sashimi Platter, an Egg Roll, and Dango, please!" You said to the waiter, looking at Ayato to see his reaction.
"Is that too much?" You asked him, hoping to provoke him a little.
"Not at all!" He stated with a smile, looking down on his menu. "Your orders are actually quite cheap. How about I order you some sake and more dessert as well?"
"No nee-" You couldn't stop him from ordering those for you too.
This isn't working.
8:00 pm
That festival mask was 10,000 mora. This may be too much, but you had to do something to salvage the plan.
"Ayato, look!" You exclaimed, setting his attention to the mask. It has many intricate designs, and a few gems stuck on it.
"Do you want it? I bet it would look very pretty on you."
'Ohhh... but the mask is really expensive...' You were feeling already feeling sorry.
"Y-Yeah..." You said quietly, but he heard it, taking out a bag of mora and approaching the merchant selling it.
You weren't paying attention, so when you felt him place the mask on your head, just above your face, your cheeks flushed.
"Just as I suspected, gorgeous..."
8:30 pm
This isn't working...
You've been walking and doing all kinds of things in the festival for a while, and the date is going so well. This wasn't supposed to happen!
You even tried being rude to him, saying how he walks too slow, his clothes are uneven, or he... you weren't really good at being rude.
"You walk too slow."
"I apologize if I'm bothering you. If you'll allow it, let me hold your hand so that we stay with each other's pace." You walked around the festival hand in hand for the rest of the date.
"Your clothes are uneven."
"Oh, I can't really see it. Can you fix the uneven part for me?" So then, you were stuck fixing the nonexistent uneven part of his clothes, holding the fabric.... just like when you would fix his clothes for him in the morning back then...
'No... stop that, please.'
Ayato's pleasant self negated every 'bad' thing you did.
He could only be more amused as he saw you very obviously thinking, perhaps of another 'insult' you could throw at him.
You were just too cute.
9:00 pm
He invites you to go to Amakumo Island with him as an ending to your date. Seems he got the whole night planned out... he does that a lot for your dates, which you do find amusing.
...Stop.
Of course, you could only agree, knowing that Thoma and Ayaka would light your butt on fire if you ever left Ayato on his own tonight (a part of your decision maybe because you wanted to spend more time with your husband, but you still didn't have a choice).
You sat at the peek of the small island, looking at the see that reflected the stars in the night. It's a beautiful night.
Ayato sighed, scooting a bit closer to you. When you looked at his face, you could see that it seems to display an expression of contentment.
He turns to look at you, making you immediately straightened your head, trying to make it look like you weren't looking at him just then.
It obviously didn't work as an amused chuckle left his lips.
He's not your husband.
But this is still very nice.
You felt his hand going on to hold yours, and you know that all you've been trying to do that night was get him to not like you, and you've honestly tried and failed to do so.
In that moment, you just gave in, finding it hard to move your hand away from his. You even assured him by lightly squeezing his hand.
This is the most relaxed you felt in weeks. If only things can stay this way.
...
...
"I'm really glad I met you, Y/N."
...
...
No, you couldn't hold it anymore.
Slowly, tears started going down your face. The more they fell, the less you could control yourself to stop crying. An overwhelming amount of emotions, blocked by a dam finally broke open, and you finally let it all out.
Ayato's expression changed, becoming shocked as you let out little sobs while trying to wipe your tears away. He saw you try to control your breathing, just like the girl in his dreams, he heard the little whimpers coming out of you, the same he heard from that girl.
You let his hand go, "I'm sorry..." You hiccuped, standing up and immediately running away from him.
"Y/N!"
"LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE!" You shouted at him.
"Sometimes, I wish I never met you."
Just like then, you ran back to your home, collapsing on the floor in a fit of whimpers and sobs.
"He's not my husband..." You repeated in your mind. That man you went on a date with wasn't your husband, your husband was the Ayato that said he wished he hadn't met you, that looked at you in anger and shame.
The Ayato you were just with was a person you met a few weeks ago after you saved him.
They aren't the same.
Your husband doesn't love you anymore. He wouldn't ever ask you on a date anymore. He wouldn't say he was happy that he met you.
"He's not my husband..." You did not believe in your own words.
Ayato walked alone through Chinju Forest with a solemn face. He kept thinking back to the look of your face and how you were trying desperately to calm yourself down.
He didn't like the look of your crying face, he could even sense the pain you were feeling as you let whimpers escape your shaking lips. The scene sent needles to his heart.
And just as he thought that it was the perfect date.
Did he do something to make you react that way?
As he was thinking, a glimmering object shone in the corner of his eye, immediately gaining his attention. Ayato looked around, before seeing something on the ground reflecting the glow of the moon.
Leaning down to pick it up, he saw a ring, and as he looked at it longer, he felt a raging headache attack his mind.
He groaned, it wasn't as if that was the only time he got headaches, they were quite frequent.
But he couldn't help but feel some sort of familiarity towards the ring, like he has seen it before.
The ring looked extremely special. He decided to bring it with him and hopefully Thoma might be able to help him find who the owner is.
But the number one thing in his mind right now is you.
He hopes that you're alright.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Ayato head was already aching when he came home to a small box on his bed.
It looks like it has gone through some stuff, it has dents everywhere and it looked like it was thrown around.
Is it for him?
Since it was on his bed, he decides to opens it, finding a piece of paper inside along with an even smaller black box.
"Ayato, I really hope you like this gift! It might not make sense when you first open it, but I have a proper explaination about what it is. I'd like to explain you in person."
The bottom of the paper has the words "I love you," in it, as well as a "From your beloved wife, Y/N".
His breath hitched.
Within the black box, he saw a necklace with a charm of what he can assume to be a constellation.
Ayato took out the ring in his pocket, like his memory has been jogged.
You...
You were wearing a ring that looked like it paired with the ring in his hands now.
As Ayato was planning to hold your hand while you were looking away from him, he noticed a ring on your ring finger.
Perhaps it was just the right fit for that finger instead of your middle, that's why you were wearing it there.
The ring was beautiful though, something he would probably pick out for something special.
When he held your hand, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of your hands together, his eyes especially still focused on your ring.
Maybe you forgot, but you left your wedding ring on when you went out for your date.
"I'd like to explain to you in person."
He wasted no time in taking that offer.
Rushing out of the estate, Thoma immediately stepped in his way.
"My lord, you can't just leave! Especially by yourself. Remember what Lady Ayaka said to you." The blonde blocked his master's path, seeing the Yashiro Commissioner's hurried steps to the estate exit.
Thoma's eyes landed on the box within Ayato's hand, noticing the tight grip on the familiar cover.
Oh...
His green eyes then saw his Lady Ayaka, standing far behind her brother. His mouth parted in disbelief.
Has Ayaka taken matters into her own hands?
Without Ayato noticing, the two's eyes were locked, and then Ayaka gave their retainer a firm nod, signalling for Thoma to let her brother go.
"You don't understand, Thoma! I need to-" Ayato was just about to argue, but his words were cut short when the blonde just gave way for him.
"I understand more than you might think, my lord." Thoma sighs, crossing his arms. "Y/N, she... she lives in Konda Village."
Ayato was shocked to say the least, can Thoma really read him so easily?
His mind was filled with confusion, many unanswered questions. But one remained on top of his priority, and he needed to get to you now.
Without another word, he hurries off into the forest, on his way to the village you resided in. Despite the tiredness, he pushed on to go to you.
Yet Thoma's final words didn't escape his ears.
"You aren't the only one that needs to remember."
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Fatigue was spreading all over his body.
But he hoped that he can still make it to you.
He doesn't expect an explanation to be served up to him in a silver platter, given that everything after his accident seems to have been a mess.
He can't fully wrap his head around the situation.
If what he read was true and you're his wife....
If you're the mysterious girl that he was chasing in his dreams....
If you love him and he loves you...
Why would you do this to him?
**
"Don't go..." His voice was a little playful, but you could sense that there was some sincerity in his words.
You giggled as you packed your clothes for your business trip to Watatsumi Island. "Ayato..." You feel warmth spread through your chest as he hugged you from behind.
"This is my job, as a lady of your clan." His embrace only tightened, stopping your from packing your things. "It's only for two days, my dear."
"Two daysss..." He whined quite dramatically, placing his chin on your shoulder so that you could visibly see his pout. "Who I am suppose to cuddle during bedtime and kiss awake in the morning?"
You sighed in amusement, turning so that you're now facing him. "I promise that when I get back, you can have all the cuddles and kisses you want."
"I want a very exclusive week of you being with me at all times as well."
"Hmmm, why?"
"Because I'm gonna be very deprived in the next two days so you're gonna have to nurture me back to health afterwards." He argued like a child, very unlike him outside of the privacy of your bedroom. You liked having this side of him all to yourself.
"Alright, fine. Now sit down so I can pack properly without interruptions." You said jokingly, pushing him to sit on your bed.
You were able to get through a few more minutes of undisturbed packing, until...
"Don't goooo..."
**
"Don't go." He whispered into the air, his hurried steps turned to slow walking. This has always been the case since his accident, he gets very tired so much faster than before.
That... memory... that just played in his head...
Was it real?
You and "him"... looked so in love with each other.
**
"Have you ever thought about an heir?" You stopped in your tracks, hearing the voice of your husband's friend coming from the living room.
"Ahhh, I definitely have thought about it. But I will always consider what my wife wants with this subject." You hear your husbands voice after that.
Eavesdropping may not be very proper and polite, but you couldn't help it. Such a topic never even made it's way to your past conversations.
"Does your wife not want a child?"
You thought about it youself... it would be nice to have a little family with Ayato, with a cute little baby boy or girl to share your love for.
"I honestly don't know, never talked to her about it."
...
When Ayato went into your room for the night, you looked at him intently, much to his surprise.
"Is there something on my face, darling?" He asked, as your gaze never faltered.
You shook your head, then he merely shrugged off and went through his nighttime routine.
Still, his curiousity peaked when he went to lay down with you and you remained looking at him the same way.
"Umm, darling-"
"Yes, I do want a family with you."
Despite his cool and dignified self, Ayato couldn't hide his surprise at your sudden statement. Looking at his expression, you sighed, before doing what was the only thing that could make your husband even more at a lost for words.
You straddled him, sitting on his lap.
"Is... is that okay?" You asked when he didn't give a respond to your statement.
"Yes... please." You couldn't help but giggle, as your sly husband was at a lost for words.
"I would love to have a family with you."
Ayato's head started spinning.
His vision was getting blurry.
He was going to collapse.
Happy...
He looked so happy with you.
Even then, even now, he's happy... with you.
He just doesn't understand why... why you lied to him.
And as he fell on his knees from sheer exhaustion, his memory further gave answers.
"All of this happened because of a stupid fucking package, huh?" You flinched a bit when he cursed, feeling even more pathetic than you were a few minutes ago. It's even worse because it's true, all this did happened because of your package.
"I... I didn't k-know-" Your voice was soft and gentle, yet still full of shame. You sat on the couch with your head hung low.
"What is so fucking important that you had to ruin so much of our work?!" You couldn't answer, you just kept quiet, because to be honest, it wasn't anything important, and you were stupid for ordering it in the first place.
Your husband wiped his face with his hand in frustration, mumbling a bunch of other curse words. You stood up, walking closer to him and reaching your hand out to comfort him.
His hand caught yours, his eyes had finally bore into yours. His teeth almost seem to grind against each other, "You know... sometimes, I just wish...."
"Sometimes I wish I never met you."
All the blurry visions he has seen in his dream, suddenly they become clear.
He held the box tight, as he felt the most painful headache starting to form.
Tears filled his eyes.
He could no longer walk, but he saw... people, they were hurriedly walking to him, and he can faintly hear their worried murmurs.
Those words "he" said, he wishes to take them back down his throat, he wishes to delete the entire scene from existence.
Yet there was nothing he could do but cling on to the memory his brain had for him next.
"Excuse me, sir." He looked up, seeing a girl smile brightly at him, her umbrella covering the rain falling from the sky.
Ayato sat below a tree that barely covered him from the rain before, but he figured that it was better than getting completely soaked. So he was planning to stay there to wait the rain out.
"I noticed that you're kinda stranded here." The girl snickered a little, covering her mouth as she laughed.
Cute. He thought, her smile influenced his lips to do the same.
"Yes, I am quite in a predicament." She offered her hand to him, pulling him up to his feet. "Thank you very much, my lady." He flashed her a calm smile along with his thanks.
"Where are you going anyway? Perhaps I can accompany you so that you don't have to wait for the weather to calm?"
He was about to go back home, but it was still quite a long way away... he decided to take a chance.
"I was about to go for a meal. Though, I find it lonely to be alone during one. So... if you have nothing else to do, perhaps I can treat you to a meal." The girl looked up at him wide-eyed, not expecting to receive such an offer. "As a thank you, miss..." He indirectly asked for the girl's name.
"Y/N." You smiled brightly at him, the scene immediately lifted his mood even more. "And I would love to join you for a meal, sir..."
"Ayato, Kamisato Ayato." You almost let go of the umbrella, but he was quick to catch on, holding your hand that was holding the umbrella steady.
A pink tint exposed themselves on your cheeks, another thing he found cute about you, among many things. "The Yashiro Commissioner?" You questioned, avoiding his gaze.
"Hmm, how about we go to Uyuu Restaurant?" He didn't answer your question, but you were certain that it was him.
Fully letting go of the umbrella, you let him take the lead as you head into the city.
"I was quite enjoying holding your hand." You turned your gaze to him, shocked at his forward comment. His smile was still there on his face, if anything, it turned kind of sly.
Not knowing how to react, you stupidly offered your hand to him. "Umm, okay..." You wanted to immediately slap yourself, yet due to nervousness, your hand remained up for the offer.
'Go down, hand! How can he even hold it when he's holding the umbrella?!' You screamed in your head.
As if listening to your thoughts, the rain came to an immediate stop. And as the man behind you noticed, he closed the umbrella, humming as if he was pleased.
When he was done, he carried it with his other hand, leaving the hand close to yours free to hold.
Ayato slipped his hand into yours. "I appreciate your kindness, my lady."
You smiled, though quite nervous... almost in like a giddy way.
You didn't look at him, hoping he doesn't notice how your hand is shaking. You merely looked up to the stars.
A constellation stuck to your memory.
Ayato sat on the grass, his mind heavy as he held the box with one hand and his head the other.
Despite the unbearable pain... remembering you was nice. So he smiled as tears fell from his eyes.
He doesn't want to forget.
"Look, it's the Yashiro Commissioner!" A worried exclaim, one he could barely hear made him look up to see a bunch of people running to his aid.
"Please, inform Lady Kamisato about the situation." The words he heard last as he fell unconscious.
Mentions (People that have been waiting for 8 months)(I'm sorry): @nasidibakar @kisum9 @kittycasie @ramvuda @the-real-fandom-person @xiaopleasecomehome @lswtamashi @rustybucketofghosts @him3ru @tartagliasmoneybag @eurooki @spicycloudsalad @icarusignite @foxlady99 @mnoxsk and others I couldn't mention for some reason.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Here's Part 3
This is really long because the first one was really short hehe. I really hope you liked it. And yes, I am really sorry for updating so late, and just not uploading in general. :((
I am now very busy, but I try. I love writing despite it taking over my sleep schedule and if only I was faster and more creative, I would have a lot for you guys.
See you when I see you ^-^
Might take months to post again ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙
3K notes · View notes
vannies · 11 months
Note
hii could i request dan heng, luka and blade with an s/o that has too much money for their own good and uses a concerning amount on it on gifts for the character?
feel free to substitute any of the characters or completely deny this request btw, i just think this idea is pretty funny
thanks for your time 🫂🫂
how much money you got? ft. HSR MEN
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characters: blade , dan heng , luka x gender-neutral reader
warnings: fluff n crack mostly hehe , short
note: HI ANON! im so sorry for the super late upload, been super busy with some applications!! anyways, loved writing this! i hope this wasn’t too bad hahah : luka also might be ooc since i don’t really know him..
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ᓚᘏᗢ・一 BLADE
“are you seriously spending your money on such useless items like that?” BLADE asks, frowning at how heavy your bag has gotten during this date.
you laugh, “of course i am! and this isn’t useless, this is a limited-edition cat plush! don’t you think it looks like you?” shoving the plush in front of his face, he sighs.
blade takes the plush from your hands and stuffs it in the shopping bag, “so, need anything else? or are you finally running out of money?”
taking a look around, you spot a beautiful rose in the distance. immediately, you run towards it. blade looks at you with disappointment before catching up.
“seriously..? a flower this time? and look at the price tag, where do you even get the funds for this?”
“oh, blade! these gifts are all for you, y’know?” you smirk, planting a kiss on his cheek. “as long as i have you and money, i think i’ll be alright~”
ᓚᘏᗢ・一 DAN HENG
DAN HENG has piles of books all snuggled on his arms, all of them which you picked out for him as a gift of loyalty. “this is enough.. i don’t think i needed this much!”
“not enough? ahaha, you asked me for a few books! and since i love you so much, why don’t i just buy you the whole store?” you shoot dan heng an innocent cheeky smile, causing him to look away.
“w-what are you..?” he asks. “asta’s long lost twin? don’t you even know how expensive this series is?”
you pick up the book in question and chuckle, “money means nothing to me, but you mean everything to me. so shut up and let me buy these for you.”
ᓚᘏᗢ・一 LUKA
“waaah!”
LUKA falls to his knees as you keep piling gifts onto his arms. he winces in pain, but quickly picks them back up.
turning around and giggling, you give him a helping hand. “what’s wrong? the strong luka can’t handle a few heavy items?”
he looks at you in disbelief. how dare you doubt him! “hah, of course i can! this is nothing to me! but how on earth are you gonna afford all of this?”
“well.. i always place the highest bets on you during your tournaments. of course, my strongest boy always wins, gaining me some easy money!”
the look of disbelief shrouds away and turns into pure love, blushing, he gets back up and caresses your cheek. “hmph, then allow me to carry all of these gifts back home!”
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billskeis · 6 months
Note
Could you do something with bill and teen daughter reader? Nothing weird obviously just cute fluff you can do anything it’s just an idea I had. Maybe uncle tom tags along or something. If not that’s okay fanks luv 😘
ᡣ𐭩 bill w a teen daughter
headcannons down below!
now you may not be his biological kid, but that doesn’t mean the kaulitz twins will love you any less. if anything, they, especially your dad, bill, adore you so fucking much.
he would kill for you.
loves and i mean loves when you ask him to go shopping, that man will spoil you!! encourages you to buy matching outfits which you will feel a little embarrassed about, leading him to mope and pout. you eventually give in and he gets so excited again omg don’t ever say no to him.
when he finds you looking at his clothes back from when he was a teenager, he’ll cringe. he doesn’t like the style on him anymore, but on you?? oh babe, he’s ALLL for it!!
and it’s always a fashion show with him, he will always tell you “i wore it better,” and flip his hair, but will always affirm you after that you in fact wore it better.
whenever it’s your birthday, him and uncle tom will always make it a competition to see who can go all out in buying you presents, “she’ll like mine more,” “uh, i think the fuck not tom.”
sometimes will ask you to choose the next acrylic or nail design for him. essentially it is crucial and one of the bonding moments you two enjoy together because there is a shared passion and love for fashion, nails, and anything trending. whenever he posts his nails on instagram he will ALWAYS give credits to you for choosing the design.
be ready for random popups to your room to ask “does this outfit make me look good?”
sometimes there’s rehearsal with the band where you also get to see uncle georg and gustav. secretly while bill isn’t in the room, will tell you embarrassing stories about bill as a teenager like how he made out with his friend’s boyfriend or got super drunk he did a dumb dare, or even just the suuper vulgar and obscene things he did.
“dad, i heard you—” “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL MY BABY!?!” as he covers your ears, georg and gustav giggling including you as he frantically questions the band members.
sometimes you’ll also practice with the band, you love to sing, so you find yourself going out to karaoke with bill, the night is always young when its just you and your dad.
but you find yourself geared towards the guitar more, and this is where you and tom immediately clicked upon first meeting. he loves how interested and passionate you are when it comes to the guitar and even gave you one of his own when he was a teenager!
spa. days. manicures. pedicures. massages. self-cafe all day everyday baby!!! these are also super essential when you’re feeling down and under the weather. bill just wants to make sure no matter what the circumstances, it’s always good to take a break and take care of yourself.
both bill and tom knew what to do when you got your period. although it made you extremely anxious, dad bill and uncle tom were here to the rescue! bill would tell tom to grab the essentials while bill comforted you, explaining how this is normal for a girl to go through this when becoming a woman.
tom comes back with the hygienic female products, but most importantly, ice cream, blankets, chips and chocolate, heating pads, and already has one of your favourite movies playing for you guys in the living room.
the three of you enjoy the solace in such events of life that are seemed to be bad. this becomes a monthly thing for you guys even when you’re not on it.
btw you guys all have matching pyjamas on these nights bc bill said so.
bill loves to bake and when you ask him if he wants help, you already know what the answer is. “okay hun, so this is what you wanna do…” “like this?” “exactly, WAIT TOO MUCH FLOUR—“
halloween. don’t even get bill started because when you guys participate in heidi’s halloween party he goes all out AND I MEAN ALL OUT!! you as his daughter are expected to as well of course. “dad, i look ridiculous..” “nonsense baby! we look smokin’ hot.” bill is sexy ariel while you’re flounder. “okay, I LOOK HOT!”
he’s sassy. and i mean super sassy.
will have to sass you and set you straight to right your wrongs, but is also super understanding and will hear you out before anything.
when you confess to bill about having a significant other, he visibly gasps, and fake faints. oh my god he’s done this for like the fifth time already. tom also pretends to stumble upon air after hearing this news. they would then begin to ramble about the birds and the bees and how you should always make sure to either stay protected or be abstinent.
eventually would ask really personal questions about them and you and how your relationship is.
somebody tell them to stfu because now they won’t stop teasing you and it gets even worse when you try to invite your s/o over. “sooo this is my ro—GET OUT OF THE HALLWAY!!” “shit! bill! i think she sees us!” “no kidding fuckface she’s yelling right at us! abort abort!”
anyways, you love them and they love you more.
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Text
Solo Sikoa One Shot
SOLO You were scared out of your mind. Why? Because creative just informed you that tonight you'd be partnering with one of the members of the Bloodline in an intergender match. But not just any member. The Enforcer. The man you just so happen to have a crush on since he debuted in NXT. Solo Sikoa. Gosh the man was so damn fine and you just didn't know how in the hell you were going to find the guts to inform him that you both would be main-eventing tonight against Rhea Ripley and Dominik Mysterio. Of course creative also informed you that you'd have to be the one to tell him. Which brings you to your current situation. You were making your way down the halls, passing by fellow wrestlers, all waving and greeting you. You were very popular and loved not just by your peers, but your fans as well. Especially, being that you were the cold-blooded assassin of WWE, as some liked to refer to you as. If only they could see you now, a ball of nerves, the complete opposite of your tv persona.
As soon as you got out of your meeting with creative, you called your best friend and co-worker Bianca Belair to tell her the news. She couldn't have been more excited for you. She knew all too well about your crush on Solo, and she wanted nothing more than for you two to be a couple. But unfortunately, due to your shyness and slightly cold demeanor, she knew you wouldn't dare make a move on the 6 foot 2, 250 pound sexy Samoan.
You quietly make your way through the halls before finally stopping at the awaited door. The Bloodline sign posted up neatly on it, inviting you to come in. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you give yourself a quick pep-talk before softly knocking on the door.
"Who is it?" you hear the voice of Paul Heyman, wiseman of the Bloodline ask in a curious tone.
You opened your mouth to respond but couldn't even formulate a proper sentence. It's like your mind completely froze on you.
You were just about to turn on your heels and run the other way but before you could, the door opened up revealing a caramel skinned Uso. Jey Uso to be exact.
He looked a little surprised to see you.
"Y/S/N? What's up?" he says, leaning against the door.
"Ayo, who is it?" you hear the booming voice of the Tribal Chief question from far inside of the locker room.
"It's Y/S/N." Jey answers from over his shoulder before turning his attention back to you.
"Yes...I umm...is Solo here?" you ask in a small voice, looking down at your fingers.
You couldn't see the instant smirk on the face of Jey Uso. Not only was his brother's crush showing up in their locker room but was asking for him. He was ecstatic for his younger brother.
"Y/S/N, aye lemme holla at her." You hear Jimmy Uso tease, popping up beside his twin, beaming at you with that goofy smile of his.
"Boy if you don't back the hell up. She ain't come here for your big headed ass. Aye Solo, Y/S/N is here to see you, Uce." Jey says, playfully pushing his twin aside so that Solo could stand before you.
Omg he was so fine. Your legs damn near gave out as he stood tall before you:
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Omg he was so fine. Your legs damn near gave out as he stood tall before you:
"H-hey I um....sorry to bother you but I...." your voice trails off as you stare up at him nervously, he was so intimidating. And it didn't help that his twin brothers were standing over his shoulders, grinning like two schoolgirls.
It grew silent for a moment before you nervously giggle, looking back up at his chocolate brown eyes. They were soft, yet dark. Alluring yet intimidating. Damn he was so perfect.
"Sorry I don't normally do this. But umm....so I had a meeting with creative today and w-well they suggested you and I team together tonight for a mixed tag match against Rhea and Dom. I-i-if that's okay with you. I mean I know you're seriously busy with all this Bloodline storyline. A-and if you can't be my partner that's fine I don't wanna bother-" you stutter as he holds up his hand to silence you.
"I'll see you in the ring." He simply says, before stepping back and disappearing back into the locker room, leaving you a flustered mess.
His twin brothers snicker, with Jimmy winking at you before closing the door in your face. You were confused, excited, flustered, embarrassed all at the same time. You guess that meant he was going to be your partner tonight.
Your heart raced in your chest as you smile shyly before moving away from the door.
Tonight should be very interesting.
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tomuras · 10 days
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| If I Killed Someone For You |
Pairing: Shigaraki x Reader
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, No pronouns for Reader, He/Him pronouns for Tomura, Murder, Death, Grief, Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy on the hurt, Guilt, Angst, Reader scratches as an emotional response just like Tomura, Idk if you can consider this a happy end tbh, 1k words.
A/n: I love Tomura Shigaraki just about as much as I love making him suffer <3 This is also my piece for my Help Me, Hold Me collab!
Summary: Upon watching the news you find yourself having a gross realization. 
Tags: @auphelia @suyacho @tighnarly @fleur-de-leap @themovingcastlez sorry i've been such ass about tagging my pieces lately aoijdoaisj
You thought nothing of it at the time, it was simply another day for you and the League of Villains, but in the days that followed after it became truly clear that it was no ordinary day. All of you gathered around the tv, climbing onto the couch and grabbing some snacks and other various foods and drinks before settling in to relax for the night. Tomura curled up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist while he kissed your neck. Silently praising you for all the good work you’d done for him and the league over the past few days, and you beamed from his sweet affections, but that joyful moment was quickly shattered as you watched the television closely.
Watching the screen you quickly recognized a young girl that was being interviewed by a news reporter. She was crying, her school uniform dirty, tattered, and covered in blood. The girl wiped her tears away with her fist as she forced out her words in between sobs. 
“My parents w-were killed by the League of Villains.”
A picture of her parents embracing the young girl flashed onto the screen. 
“They weren’t heroes.”
Your heart pounded hard in your ears. Why couldn’t you breathe or think?
“They weren’t even doing anything.” 
Something warm fell down your cheeks. Tears? You weren’t sure and quite frankly didn’t care at that moment.
“I just want my mom and dad.” 
The world stopped. 
“They didn’t deserve to die.” 
Before you could hear another word from the young girl’s mouth the tv was shut off. Most of the league avoided eye contact with you save for Tomura who held your face, pressing his forehead against yourself in hopes it would ground you, and Dabi who watched you with a solemn expression. Tomura tried to get your attention, calling out your name hoping to snap you out of whatever miserable trance you were caught up in. You didn’t respond, not uttering a single word until Dabi and the League had slowly walked back to their respective rooms. 
Tomura looked deep into your eyes, using the pad of his thumbs to soothe your soft cries and anxious mumbling. Your eyes scanned the room frantically as Tomura shushed you, talking in a soft voice as to coax you into a calmer state, but it was a fruitless attempt. It came back so fast and you could barely contain the guilt and shame which overwhelmed you. You wanted to scratch so bad. Itch away at your flesh which was tainted with the blood of a corrupt sinner. You wanted nothing more than to rip yourself from your body, a punishment befitting of someone who so willingly chose to end another’s life. 
Maybe it was fate or pure coincidence that you saw that young girl on the television that day. Perhaps it was a realization that needed to occur, or maybe it meant nothing at all. Although, if it truly meant nothing, if you really had done the right thing as you had thought you did, then why did you feel burdened with such anguish? You thought back to when it had all happened, remembering the faces of the parents that had been murdered, and felt something swell up in your chest. Guilt? Anger? Sorrow? Whatever the feeling was it suffocated you and left you choking on your own questions. How could you let this happen? How could you be so careless? So destructive? So evil. 
“Hey, listen to me.” Tomura’s voice snapped you out of your self-hating trance. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. If you want out I will give you an out.” 
His voice and words reassured you that what he said remained true, but it simply wasn’t enough. 
“It’s not that. It’s just.. it’s complicated and fucked up, Tomu.” You replied.
There was a brief moment of silence before either of you spoke again.
“You’re not a bad person.” Tomura reassured you.
He pressed his temple against yourself and looked at you with a soft expression.
“No I am and that’s part of the problem, Tomu.” You insisted. 
He pulls away and looks at you with a sad and frustrated expression. 
“I killed someone, Tomura. Don’t you get it? I murdered people, people who had a life and family and friends.” You paused. “They were people too, Tomura. They didn’t deserve it.” 
Tears started to flow down your cheeks, and everything was hitting you all at once. Tomura understood, he was the one person who would know what you were feeling more than anyone, and yet, he had no idea how to make it better. Sure, he could hold you and rub your back as he usually did, but that would not take away the pure agony you felt. It would not fix what happened or heal what had been broken. There was nothing he could say to save those that had been lost. 
You frantically wrapped your arms around his waist, firmly gripping his shirt in your fists as you cried.
“It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me, Tomura!” You yelled, pushing your face into his chest as you sobbed. 
He said nothing and instead caressed the back of your head calmly. There were no words he could possibly utter that would carry your pain away. That guilt that you felt, the sensation of your chest feeling as if it was being crushed, would live with you until you were six feet underground. That he was sure of. Without a doubt he would try and try again to fix your problems, but it would ultimately be useless. There would be nights where Tomura would wake up to the sound of your hushed cries and quiet mumbling, and he too would feel a familiar ache in his chest as he realized that it was all his fault that you were wracked with such anguish. 
It was all his fault, he thought, it was always all his fault. 
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max--phillips · 4 months
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Hey, @staff @support @wip @engineering @changes @humans it’s me again. Do you have a second? I would like to draw your attention to something.
So, you know how when you start typing in a tag, it’ll list tags to choose from based on what you’re typing in? Y’know, you start typing “star” and the list will populate “Star Wars” and “Lego Star Wars” among a few other tags you can tap on to auto-complete what you’re typing if you want? Yeah, it’s about that function.
I assumed that these tags populated based on popularity or number of uses. But when I saw some weird shit populate that read more like a clickbait article headline than a tag an actual human being had used at some point, I did some experimenting.
To preface, the tags that I'm about to list here have never once been used on my blog, and are not suggestions from my history. They are purely on tumblr's side.
Did you know that if you type in simply “I need,” the following tags auto-populate?
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“I need to lose so much weight,” “I need to lose this weight,” and “I need to ⭐️ve.” Yikes. Knowing this, out of curiosity, I typed in "I want" next. Guess what I found?
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"I want to ⭐️ve," "i want to cvt," and "i want to be skinnier." Again, yikes.
But perhaps this is a bit too leading. What if I just type in "I w" instead?
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It auto-populates with some repeats, PLUS some more concerning shit. we got "i want to ⭐️ve," "i wanna lose weight," "i will reach my ugw," "i wanna be skinnier," "i wanna be tiny," "i want to cvt," "i want to be skinnier," "i wanna be perfect," "i will lose weight," and "i wish i was weightless."
Let's try just "i n" too, for fun.
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We get "i need to lose so much weight," "i need to lose this weight," "i need to ⭐️ve," and "i need to be weightless."
With this in mind, I typed in "ana" because I recognize all of this as stuff people struggling with anorexia have historically said on this platform. Once again, we have some concerning things auto-populate:
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"ana meal," "ana bllog," "ana tricks," "tw ana diary," "ana trigger," and "ana rant."
Here's my question: how and why are these auto-populating? This kind of thing literally goes against your own community guidelines. Here's a screenshot from those community guidelines:
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I highlighted the text that reads "Don't post content that actively promotes or glorifies self-harm. This includes content that urges or encourages others to: cut or injure themselves; embrace anorexia, bulimia, or other eating disorders;"
I realize that monitoring tags like this isn't going to be perfect, some things inevitably slip through the cracks. But this many tags? Someone somewhere is dropping the ball.
That also leads me to another point.
I, as with many other people on this website, the self-proclaimed "queerest place on the internet," occasionally tag posts with something to the tune of "terfs do not interact" because... well, being a terf is to be inherently transphobic and anti-queer. I noticed something peculiar recently while tagging a post as such.
I'm willing to bet real actual money that the tag "terfs dni" gets used significantly more than the tag "terfsafe," so... why does the auto-populated tag list look like this when you type in "terf?"
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We get the auto-populated tags "terfblr," "terfsafe," and "terfism." But not a sign of "terfs dni" or "terfs don't touch." Why is that?
So, again out of pure curiosity, I typed in "rad."
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"radblr," "radical feminists do interact," "radical feminist safe," "radqueer" (which isn't radfem related but also shouldn't be on that list), "radical feminism," and "radical feminist community" auto-populate. Considering radical feminism and being a terf are literally the same thing, this is further concerning.
For shits and giggles, I typed in "lgb" to see what I'd get.
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Why on EARTH is "lgb drop the t" the second auto-populated tag?
Let's try just the word "gender."
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"gender critical" is the second auto-populated tag. Another transphobic term.
I'm sure this has nothing to do with the fact trans women can't post entirely safe for work selfies on this website anymore without their post getting flagged as mature content, or the swath of trans women who have had their blogs entirely terminated for no reason recently.
Also, interestingly enough, in your community guidelines, under the hate speech guideline, you have written "Don't encourage violence or hatred. Don't post content for the purpose of promoting or inciting the hatred of, or dehumanizing, individuals or groups based on race, ethnic or national origin, religion, gender, gender identity, age, veteran status, sexual orientation, disability or disease." You may be interested to know that terfs and other transphobes do, in fact, encourage, promote, and incite hatred of, and dehumanize, individuals or groups based on gender and gender identity.
Perhaps what you have auto-populate for tags should reflect things that are popular and inclusive on this website, not... whatever this is. If this is truly the queerest place on the internet, and you want to continue to cultivate it as such, you should probably at least act like it.
Anyway, it'd be cool of you to address these things. Toodles.
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ominous-auburn-orbs · 7 months
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I would make this a comic if I had the artistic talent and time, but instead you get a text post
(The circus gang have just fallen into a large pit during one of their adventures. Caine also tagged along this time)
Zooble: God DAMMIT! (They bury their head in their hands for a moment, then look to Caine) Can you teleport us out of here?
Caine: Sincerest apologies, Zooble, but I'm afraid not! If I am to truly get the same experience that you do, then I certainly can't use my powers which none of you have! All the struggles you face are a part of the adventure, anyway, to test your skills and build teamwork!
Zooble: ...Caine, you're a [BLOINK].
Pomni: Teamwork, huh? Maybe- maybe we can climb on top of each other to get out? But then how would the people at the bottom... uh, nevermind.
Jax: How about we unravel Gangle and use her as a grappling hook?
Gangle: W-what? I can't support all your weight, I might snap!
Jax: Wow, Gangle. And to think that I believed you could have a use for once.
(Ragatha harshly shoves Jax whilst giving him a clear look of disapproval. She then walks to one of the pit's walls and runs her hand along it)
Ragatha: I might be able to find some edges we can use to climb up, like rock-climbing. Just give me a minute...
Caine: So, Kinger, how are you doing? Any ideas?
Kinger: AAAH!! Oh, hi, Caine. Well, I'm in a pit right now, and I would really rather not be in one. What was your other question?..
Jax: Are you gonna contribute at all, Looney? Give us some words of encouragement or something?
Kinger: Oh! Oh, uh. We can do it, because, hmm. We've already made it this far, so there's no point in giving up now. Together, there's nothing we can't do.
(Some of the other performers actually start to feel a little bit better, which isn't what anyone was expecting)
Kinger: Yeah! Because there's a lot of fish in the sea! And a penny saved is a penny earned! Don't look at the gift horse's mouth!!
(They all immediately lose the feeling, with Zooble being exasperated and Jax being amused. Caine is still hanging off of Kinger's every word)
Kinger: WE ARE TADC!!!!!!
Caine: So true, king...
Pomni: Oh my god we're gonna die down here
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