#you can spend a little more time on the build up and focus a bit more on the development of feelings

[sageourplanetmeow]

I have ideas about what owl house S3 filler episodes would be like, because yes, we were robbed and yes I am repeating it even though it’s been said by everyone else already.

A fashion episode. Since ROTMNT had a whole episode with the turtles dressing up, why don’t the TOH cast do that since we saw a clip of that. Considering that Hunter is notoriously bad with fashion and @moringmark made a comic with Amity being horrified by Hunter’s fashion tastes which makes sense for her, I think they would have a good opportunity to build their character dynamics. I think it would also have them going to the hair salon with their hair cuts and getting their hair done, and they would have had to go to a random Halloween store in town to find fake human ears to stick them on. Of course them falling off would be a lingering threat. Of course Vee was just browsing the whole time so she has inspiration for what she was going to shape-shift into.

Movie night. They would watch a variety of things such as the Azura movies, since Lux and Amity love them, and Cosmic Frontier. Then I have a feeling that Willow would be all over nature documentaries, in particular ones centred around plants. In an episode before the episode where Luz returned to the human realm but in mirrors and phones, Vee was sitting with Camilla watching a documentary so maybe she also like nature documentaries, although she prefers the animal aspect, therefore getting to bond with Willow a bit. Camilla cries a bit from the nature documentaries and feels sentimental over the Azura movies cus Amity and Luz seem to be enjoying it so much and it reminds her a bit of Luz’s dad. She also withholds the urge to spill a bunch of facts about Cosmic Frontier and just reminisces about it.

One or two school episodes to focus on Luz. Aka her bullies if she has them, I mean she’s a neurodivergent bisexual kid who’s obsessed with witchcraft and draws weird stuff (glyphs and stuff from the demon realm) and also reads he Azura books and makes fan fictions, it’s an unfortunate reality. (Plus she does taxidermy). So we see her relationships with the students and the teachers and maybe her having to struggle to pretend like she knows what stuff Vee did with Masha when Vee was pretending to be her. Hence Masha starting to be a bit suspicious considering that Vee seems to bond with her quickly and feels familiar to her. Another thing, if Luz ever gets sick (which will be talked about later) Vee will shapeshift into Luz so she can get a little bit of education and so that she can bring Luz some of her work and all so she can spend time with Masha, plus she volunteers to because she likes school.

An arcade episode. Hunter and Gus go to some space one since it reminds them of Cosmic Frontier and Camilla lingers around them cus again she’s a secret nerd. Luz and Amity go to a magic combat game where you can customise your character, hence Luz spends a long time on hers and Amity helps her decide. Willow ends up acing all the sports games so she gets some alone time so we can see what she’s like by herself. They also all play Mario kart and they customise accordingly. Plus there’s this enclosed space at the arcade in my city and balls fall from the ceiling of it and fill it up as in plastic ball pit balls, and you need to put them in holes. I think Hunter would be a bit clumsy and Willow would ace it. Then Amity would have barely contained rage till it comes out and Luz is mildly shocked considering she’s usually so calm and composed. Willow takes a picture with Gus of Amity and they show it to her later.

THE BEACH EPISODE. The boiling sea means the witches are scared of the water. Luz is apprehensive for a split second cus she’s been in the demon realm for a while. Hunger is more scared since he sank into the ground in hollow mind so he goes with Willow to see the plants nearby that grow there, e.g. palm trees. So the two scale up walls and trees to pick leaves and fruit for Gus to collect as specimens since he joins them for a bit. Later they play volleyball together. However, Willow then goes to swim and encourages Hunger to join in. Luz and Amity just jump off stuff together and splash around plus they have a conversation with Camilla. Vee and Gus then decide to do something together so Vee writes down in Gus’ notebook for a bit but Gus ends up showing her how to do shorthand. Vee also sees Masha and they do stuff together and swim together a bit since Vee plucks up the courage to ask her if she wants to since Masha came alone after her friends were too busy.

An indoor trampoline park episode. Again Hunter, Willow and Gus do tricks and stuff like in grudgby and the two mention Cosmic Frontier so that they both nerd out about it to Willlow. Luz and Amity do stuff and Amity twists her ankle and gets scooped up by Luz as a throwback. Vee invites Masha to join them so she does stuff with her, I have a feeling Masha would like DnD and they both roleplay that they’re in DND as they run about in an obstacle course and jump into the soft trampoline thing from that really tall ledge like they’re escaping something by jumping into a river after a heist or something. They’d also climb like they’re on a cliff on the climbing walls. And they’d use the Tarot cards (I think that’s the name) to decide what they’d do as predictions and stuff. I dunno.

Sick day episode. Since Luz had that in one episode in one the witches are gonna get the common flu along with Luz and her mum. The witches are convinced it’s dramatically bad and is like the boiling isles version and how crazy it made Luz (I’m not sure if that’s what happened with Luz). In this one Vee would shapeshift into Luz to be at school and bring back her work plus cus she likes school as mentioned before.

Luz and Amity getting a dinner date and I dunno stuff like that.

The zoo episode. There will be the giraffe gag as was showed in S3 and they’ll run around and gave fun. Since I have gotten the theory that Vee might like animal stuff I think that she might volunteer at the zoo and therefore gives them special access to the behind the scenes. Camilla is at work in this home so she can’t chaperone them, therefore they get into more shenanigans. Luz stays around the bird section with Hunter as she looks at the owls and Hunter looks excitedly as the birds that look a bit like Flap Jack. Hunter however, gets especially obsessed over the wolves, Luz also says the snake fact with them shedding their skin and Amity looks at the cats and enjoys a cat cafe at the zoo. Gus looks at the chameleons and takes notes before taking notes of the humans themselves. Willow goes to the insect exhibit and looks at the insects, and chiefly the plants. They also accidentally robbed a gift shop.

THE CINEMAAA. I know there’s already a movie night idea but ya know… they all watch an old movie that Luz’s grandparents on her dad’s side take them to watch. Cus I dunno they just visit and I wanna see them watch an old movie kinda like ‘Italian Job’, as an example. Or something with Charlie Chaplin but they probably wouldn’t be that old, those are just examples since we haven’t actually met them if they’re actually alive. There might be a horror movie alternatively and they all get spooked when there’s something that looks a bit like Belos, Hunter in particular shakes and ends up hugging Willow whilst everyone holds hands together (aka the whole group together). Or they watch a romance one and they jokingly tease Luz and Amity for being so cheesy I guess.

Robotics Club Episode. So here’s the context for why I randomly thought this up: I was sitting outside at break, a nice person in my friend group picked me up and yeeted me into robotics club with everyone else and now I’m there with zero experience or knowledge regarding coding. Now I need to reference @moringmark again, look this person just makes such good TOH content- I- I have to. Basically there was a comic with Luz making a vehicle with glyphs in the boiling isles so maybe she has a small amount of inspiration and experience with a robotics club in her town and it ends up being an activity she does with Amity since she is also quite techy due to her dad. Therefore, she can also get into thinking about combining human technology with abomination tech.

An arts and crafts day, everyone at the house is bored and are just scrolling on their phones so Camilla sets out arts and crafts stuff for them to do: Luz draws fanart and does some taxidermy; Gus makes a display and/or a poster/homemade fact book thing about human history and the stuff he’s learnt about the culture; Willow makes plant wreaths, daisy chains and plant sculptures as well as doing her best to paint some pots; this is where Hunter gets to work with a sewing machine and basically sews abominable outfits and a bunch of wolves onto said outfits; Amity creates a technological thing aka where there’s the whole thing with balls rolling down into different slides and triggering stuff but with abomination magic mixed in to help; and Vee makes a couple of character sheets and plot ideas for DND (look I’m gonna admit it, I wish I could figure out how to play it but I don’t know where to look so eh I have no idea).

A convention episode. Now, they’re all nerds, they should go to a comic con convention or something. They will do it and I’m making them do it. Luz and Amity will go to the very small area with one or two artists for the Azura book series where there’s a bunch of fellow fans dressed up as characters from the books showing off fanart and getting it signed. Gus and Hunter will go to Cosmic Frontier stuff and Willow will join with Luz and Amity. Vee does DND stuff with Masha and the rest of their friend group. Gus and Hunter find Camilla at a stall drawing commissions and selling merch for cosmic frontier which she was keeping hidden from them. (She hides various requests for NSFW). Due to the cosplayers, Hunter and Gus think about outfits for the future.

Pride March/Fayre Episode. This is how Luz gets her bi badge and how Camilla gets her LGBTQ+ support badge which was donating to a lgbtq+ charity. They all have fun, until Disney shows up as Belos and screams at them that they’re not the Disney brand.

A Halloween Episode. They showed us it but maybe if we got showed it with more time and then making their cosplays then that would be fun.

Vet Episode. Maybe it would be fun to see Camilla working at the vets but eh.

Cooking episode?

[stormyoceans]

I LOVE ONE CONSENT KING

[primofate]

3 am brainrot

Soulmate, but Genshin Impact Style

Warning: angst (lots of potential to be fluff and comfort ending tho)

Vision "resonates" with each other and a thin red line connects your vision to their vision

Thin red line disappears, frays, or splits off when something is wrong with the connection or the other person

You can use their element and they can use yours. If you are the same element it provides an elemental increase.

Element exchange also stops or weakens when there's something wrong with the connection or the other person

There's a kind of "sixth sense" activated wherein you can kind of feel each other's psyche

Imagining what it would be like for power hungry Scaramouche to find out he has access to another element. Meets a complete stranger and suddenly he's stronger. Starts to keep you close only for that reason, doesn't care much about your well being in general. Then finding out that he can STILL use your element even if the two of you are far apart. You part ways rather abruptly, and he's not sure how long it had been when the red line starts to fray and his access to your element starts to dwindle. He doesn't think much of it, but day by day it gets weaker and day by day the red line disappears a little more. A sudden sense of "If that line disappears I won't ever be able to follow it back to y/n" so he starts following it. He doesn't really notice there's a sense of urgency in him, he tells himself its only because he wants the power back, but when he rouses from a short rest to find that the red line is gone... why does it suddenly feel like he's all alone again?

Imagining characters like Xiao, Cyno and Alhaitham who completely rejects using your element. They don't need yours. They are just fine and all is well using only their own. In a sense they take pride in what they have, and doesn't really care for what power you can give. They aren't interested in maintaining a relationship with a stranger either, because, what for? However, you're slightly persistent in at least getting to know a little about them. Just a tiny bit. But that tiny bit is enough to push them to tell you he's not interested in any kind of chit chat, that he's busy and needs to focus on other things. So you turn away. Out of curiosity one day he tries to use your element. It strangely gives him the feeling of warmth. Like someone's protecting and watching over them (and for someone who always does the protecting, this is a big deal). One day, the line breaks off, there's a clear split and he wonders if all is well. He follows the line back to you, and finds out that you've been spending a good amount of time with someone else. Someone who you smile at very brightly, and someone who is interested in getting to know you. What's he to do? This was his doing. So why does he feel like coming over and snatching you away?

Imagining characters like Diluc, Neuvillette and Wriothesley, astounded but somewhat pleasantly surprised by the discovery. He neither rejects you nor accepts you, but feels a sense of responsibility over you just because of the connection made. But because they have their own things to be busy with, they don't exactly actively seek you out or have the time to check in frequently. Perhaps it's a monthly thing, following the line and looking for you. There's a relationship that looks like the beginnings of friendship. A little awkward, asking questions and fumbling for more questions to ask. Still, something builds, and just when the ice is about to break between the two of you, he follows the line...and somehow ends up out in the wild. Your vision is buried next to a tree, for a moment he's struck with panic that he would find your body buried, but judging from how the red line was still intact, you were most likely safe somewhere... however, he would never see you anymore, nor know the reason why you decided to hide. All of a sudden he wished that he had more time. He doesn't know whether this situation was comforting or concerning. He has you in the palm of his hand, but never close enough to fill the empty gap.

Imagining characters like Zhongli, Dainsleif and Tartaglia, who, despite their appearances is instantly intrigued by the connection. They don't need the additional power, but they keep the connection anyway because they partly feel that destiny is something you can't change. The closeness between you two easily grows and here is when you first approach him with a favor.

"Can you help me with something?"

"Of course. Would tomorrow be a good time?"

There's a bit of a pause on your side. "Tomorrow..." and its as if you look up at him with more sparkle in your eyes than usual. "...Yeah. That'll work. Thank you," the way you say thank you is so sincere and loving it almost brings him to a joy he hadn't felt in a long time.

He woke the next day. The connecting red line was nowhere to be found.

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Spider-verse with a S/O that gets hurt often? Idk it this should be put as clumsy but really up to you. Thanks!

(Hello! Sure I can do here ya go!)

Taglist

Reader Who Gets Hurt a Lot

Miles Morales

Obviously he's worried about you

He's telling you over and over again to be careful

Most likely it is because you're clumsy

So he's watching you out of the corner of his eye almost everyday

See you trip over something?

He may shoot a web at you and pull you back up so you don't fall

But the times he doesn't get you and you do get hurt, he sighs and walks over to help you

He's always glad to help patch you up though

Just don't do anything dramatic like go up a tall building

He may actually have a heart attack

A stressed mother vibes

Earth 42!Miles Morales

He's scolding you more than the others

It's because he loves you and he's worried you may actually get hurt really bad one day

He doesn't want it to get to the point of you needing like, really bad medical attention

You've been to the hospital a few times due to like a broken finger or something similar

He was there those times when they happened and he can feel his heart drop

He may be a little like, annoyed, but more at your clumsiness but he's not blaming you

Sorta like

"Just be more careful, ma. You're gonna get hurt even worse if this keeps happening."

He's just worried and wants to make sure you're alright

Stop scaring him, man!

Gwen Stacy

Gwen may laugh under her breath

It's a reflex and she will help you though

Obviously, she's worried but she's more chill about it

Will help you up and bring you to help clean and bandage up your shit

Unless you are one to harm yourself to the point you need medical

Then she flips out and panics

She's worried, she loves you and wants you in good health

She sometimes can't focus on her health due to being Spider-Woman

So she does her absolute best to make sure you're okay

Will poke fun at you

Tease you and shit but it's from a good place

Will pat your newly acquired injury, kiss your cheek and be on y'all's way

Hobie Brown

He's worried but he hides it

He teases you about your clumsiness, especially if you get hurt because you're tripping and falling down all the time

"Falling for me now, are you?"

Sorta shit like that as he helps clean and bandage your wound

He actually likes helping take care of you

It gives him the feeling of something normal in your guys' lives

Even if it's because you accidentally hurt yourself

He's watching you every few glances and normally saves you from getting hurt

Has either w hand on your waist, holding your hand and it's to keep you up

Will pick you up when you fall

He's more calm, hides his worry and teases you a bit

It's from love though

Pavitr Prabhakar

You're both always getting hurt

You both spend so much time patching each other up

Someone when he tries to help you get up or help you when you get hurt, he gets the same exact injury

You guys match wounds and hospital trips a lot

It's something that now bonds you guys together

So much bandaids, so much disinfectant and so much time spent patching each other up

But he loves those moments oddly also

Especially if he has like scraps on his face and your holding his face and patching him up

He gets to do the same for you and you guys just love it

Obviously he's nervous about you getting seriously injured

But he's usually around to stop it

[swordsandholly]

Across The Way

Ch. 2: And So It Begins

Retired!Ghoap x fem!plus size!Reader

MDNI

Ao3 | Previous - Next

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: You go to Scotland with high hopes for your future. After all, you have the bakery you always dreamed of and a whole new life to live. Plus, the men who own the butcher’s shop across the street seem nice.

A/N: I got this out a lot faster than I thought I would. Hopefully my work doesn’t get too insane and I can get the next out in a timely manner - it’s going to be a bigger one!

“You were right.” Simon carefully cuts through the loaf with a serrated knife. He’s never lost his skill with them, despite their uses becoming increasingly more domestic over the years. It’s charming, in a way - the juxtaposition of where they started and where they are now.

“Right about whit?” Johnny asks.

“She is a pretty little thing.”

“Donnae tell me I need tae be worried about ye sneakin’ off at work.” He jokes. Simon would never, of course, but it’s fun to see the way his cheeks heat up at the implication. Without his mask he wears every expression with reckless abandon.

Simon settles his large frame into the seat across from Johnny at the dining table. It’s small, they don’t need much. The chairs always creak under Simon’s weight in an almost threatening fashion. He pushes a plate with two pieces of the bread and some eggs over to Johnny. There’s an odd tug in his chest when he picks up the slice - an urge to be gentle as he spreads butter over it. Gentility is not a compulsion he feels often.

“S’good.” Simon mutters around his bite.

Johnny nods along after taking one himself. There’s love in it - he can tell. A piece carefully crafted with only absolute perfection in mind. How strange that food can carry such a feeling.

“Was a wee bit worried we’d be stuck across from the nicest, worst baker in the world.” He mutters.

Simon huffs out a half laugh.

~~~

Your first week goes by in a blur. For a small town they sure do manage to keep you busy. It’s good, you remind yourself. Better than none. If you keep it up at this rate you’ll be able to hire help by the end of the summer quarter.

By Monday, the first day of your “weekend”, you’re overdone. Head dizzy and body exhausted, you spend the day in bed. It’s a gratifying exhaustion, one you hope to build more of a tolerance for. As of now, though, you elect to remain deeply buried under the covers.

When you wake for a second time the sun is already near setting again. The entirety of Monday slunk by with you in bed. You grumble to yourself angrily like an old man. You wanted to unpack today - to at least get your clothes and kitchen items put away.

“Stupid.” You grouse. At least you still have time to shower, you suppose.

As you stand the world blacks out for a moment, your body swaying in place. You allow yourself to fall back on the bed, sitting while your vision slowly comes back into focus. Blinking away black dots and off squiggles that dance across your eyes. On attempt number two you manage it, making your way to the bathroom.

The work is worth it. The pain is worth it.

This is what you always wanted, after all.

You are happy. You can feel it in your bones. They’re lighter than they used to be - your whole body thrums with excited energy even as you have to lower yourself with the upmost care into the shower seat. Even as you have to scrape one of the cheap fold out chairs you managed to get over to the stove while you cook a late night dinner. Thank god for low counters.

When you were arranging your schedule it took a while to get it perfected. To compensate for your body you have to have time to rest and be able to do a lot of baking preparation before the work week starts. Monday and Tuesday are for rest. Wednesdays are for prep. The shop is closed but you’re in the back working your ass off mixing and kneading and shaping doughs. As well as practicing new recipes you want to add to the store’s line up eventually. Your goal is to sell American biscuits, preferably in batches of six, but those take a lot of work and don’t keep as long. They’ll have to wait until you have hired help.

It’s all chance and whatever you can manage to make happen. You learned to be okay with that, though.

You’ve got plenty of spoons, you tell yourself. Just need to use them wisely.

When you finally close the fridge, now fully stocked with dough ready to proof and bake, you check the clock. It’s still the early afternoon. You finished sooner than you assumed you might. The thought makes you giddy - makes you feel accomplished.

It makes you feel normal.

As you exit into the warm spring sun you take a moment. Ever since you arrived you haven’t been able to just stop. To just take everything in - let the foreign air fill your lungs and the aura of the town sink into your bones.

It’s a lovely little main street that you’re located on. The building to your left is a large family owned pharmacy (very convenient for you) and to your right is an empty brick building. It looks like a former post office, but from what you know the current post office is a few blocks down beside the grocers. It’s quaint, the lot of it.

Your eyes settle on the shop across from yours housed in a simple brick building painted white. The upstairs is an apartment much like yours, you think, but from what you know it currently remains empty. The sign above the door reads A Cut Above the Rest. You wonder if that was Simon or Johnny’s doing.

Would it be weird to go in? You suppose not, after all they came to yours. It’s only fair you give them some patronage as well. Plus you need to ask how the bread was. Hopefully they liked it - you realized halfway through the night that you didn’t even ask if they like sourdough before shoving it into their hands.

That thought kept you up later than you’d like to admit.

You look both ways down the street. This particular spot doesn’t have a crosswalk but the road is so dead even when the downtown is busy you figure it’s worth risking. The lack of danger doesn’t stop you from fast-walking across, though.

The shop’s old-fashioned door bell chimes prettily as you push it open. For a butcher it smells extremely clean - almost clinical. It’s small, with an L shaped display counter and a register at the end nearest the door. Packages of sausage links and the like hang on displays across the back wall. Beside the wooden saloon doors that lead behind the counter is a little dog bed with a very well crafted name plate reading Riley hanging right above it.

So cute.

“Afternoon.” Simon appears from the back, wiping his hands on a rag. You jump a little, so lost in taking in your surroundings you forgot what you came here for.

“H-hi!” You smile. You forgot how intimidating Simon is. His gaze levels you - pins you underneath him like a fly under a swatter. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic. “I thought I’d come check your shop out and ask how the bread was?”

“It was good.” He replies bluntly. Totally monotone. The corners of his eyes crinkle ever so slightly. You decide that’s it’s a smile - whether that’s the reality of his expression or not.

“It’s really nice in here.” You look around. There isn’t much for decoration. The walls are too covered in menus and diagrams of cuts to leave room for anything extra. There’s a shelf of odds and ends opposite the main counter full of high end mustards and condiments. Little things to go with whatever you could think to make out of the varieties of meat they offer.

“Thanks.” Simon nods. “One moment.”

You watch with curiosity and a slight frown as he makes his way into the back. He almost has to duck under the doorway. Old buildings with low ceilings and all that. The place definitely wasn’t made with a six foot plus behemoth in mind. You continue to look around, rocking back and forth on your heels. They have a perfect score on their inspectors plaque. You might not know Simon well, but he seems the type to be absolutely precise about everything. The score doesn’t surprise you.

Yours is almost perfect - some rules are different here than in the US. Next time, you swear you’ll get it top notch! You look across the street at your shop. You wonder if you made the wrong choice with The Honey Bun. It’s bit much now that you see it from afar but it still makes you smile. That’s what matters, you guess.

Simon comes back out with a small, nicely wrapped package. “You don’t ‘ave any dietary restrictions d’you?”

You shake your head and he pushes the package toward you. Your eyes widen - it’s a great cut of high end beef. Like, really good beef as far as you know. Something you’d never be able to afford even if your business wasn’t brand new. You stare between Simon and the little pack in your hands. “Th-this is so nice but I-“

“It’s only fair.” He cuts you off. “Neighbors, yeah?”

You can’t help the grin that splits your face, eyes misting up despite yourself. Kindness has not been a constant in your life - more of a rarity. Something you had to claw and fight to earn. Being given it so freely but such a taciturn man has you reeling just a bit.

“Thank you… I’ve got to head back but, uh, thank you. Really.” You press the small package to your chest. “Tell Johnny I said hi?”

“Course.” He nods.

“Thanks again!” You grin, giving a little two finger salute before practically skipping all the way back into your dingy little apartment. Happily, you pack away the meat to use later. It’s too nice to just make any dish out of - best to save it for a special occasion. Your first gift in your new life. Best to savor it.

~~~

“Afternoon, bonnie.” Johnny appears in your doorway while you sweep up from the Saturday rush, bell chiming upon his entrance. “Hope I’m not a bother.”

“Not at all.” You smile, resting the broom on the counter. “Hello to you as well, Miss Riley.”

She huffs out a quiet bark in reply, sitting dutifully at Johnny’s feet. You don’t have much experience with service dogs - other than the well known rule not to pet them while they’re working. They were always too expensive for you to get and your condition wasn’t labeled serious enough to warrant financial aid. (Despite the fact that you can, and have, passed out and hit your head on something hard.)

“Can I get you something?” You ask.

“Och, I’m a’right. Just wanted tae stop by an’ say hello before headin’ home.” He gives you that dashing, bright grin. “Simon always kicks me out of the shop at close.”

“He doesn’t need help?” You ask. Surely cleaning up a butchers shop is a huge task. You have your work cut out for you with all the flower - you can’t imagine cleaning that amount of blood and mess.

Johnny shrugs. “The cleaning chemicals trigger my migraines.”

You hum. “Well, you’re always welcome to stop by. Actually,” you turn on your heel, “I’ve got somethin’ I’d like you to try, if you want.”

“Never one to say no to food. Especially from a pretty girl.” Johnny says as he follows. He tells Riley to stay in front and she listens - the perfect little lady that she is. You nearly trip at his comment, keeping your back turned so that he hopefully doesn’t see the heat spreading from your face and down your neck.

“I-it’s, uh, you ever had American biscuits?” You ask, praying he doesn’t notice the shake in your voice. You have to get on your tip toes to reach the small basket you made the day prior - carefully lowering it and pulling back the gingham cloth you wrapped them in.

An image of home.

“Aye, had them once on a layover at some chain diner.” He nods. “Donnae think they were fresh, though.”

“Well these are proper biscuits.” You carefully cut one in half with ease. “Sometime I’ll have to make you some gravy to go with.”

“Yer gonnae make us fat, hen.” Johnny chuckles.

“There are worse things to be.” The words come out more defensive than you would have liked. An automatic mechanism - a harshness you've honed over the years.

You hate how easily you wield it, sometimes.

Johnny leans forward over the table, a furrow in his brow. “I dinnae mean-“

“Here.” You cut him off and hold out the biscuit on a napkin, smothered with butter in the middle.

Johnny lets your interruption go. Probably happy for an out. He takes the fluffy baked good slowly, cupping it in his large hand with care. You wonder if he always does that, touches things with such gentle love. Is it learned? Is it just natural to him? Does he touch Simon like that? Gentle caresses?

What’s that like?

Johnny takes a massive, enthusiastic bite. Somehow his blue eyes manage to sparkle even more, grinning as he chews. “Sh’gew!”

You laugh at his attempt to talk around the food. “Glad you like it.”

He swallows roughly. A full body gulp. “Why’d ye start bakin’ anyway?”

“My grandparents raised me.” You fold the biscuits back up in their little basket. “My grandma taught me how. She was the best in town - won the pie contest almost every year.”

“Tha’s lovely.” The smile he gives you is so genuine it makes your chest constrict.

“Mean old bat but she could beat anyone in the kitchen.” You laugh. “We swore she had some kinda magic. Like a green thumb but for cooking.”

“My mum’s like tha’. Can make anythin’ out of nothin’.” He nods along.

You fall into an easy back and forth - never breaching anything deeper than the most surface level of content as he eats. It’s manageable. Johnny doesn’t push and neither do you.

Riley barks from the front of the shop.

“Och, tha’s my queue.” Johnny brushes off his hands and checks the front of his shirt for crumbs. “Take care, aye?”

You smile. “You too.”

~~~

Johnny’s words keep ringing in your ears. You don’t know why. It’s nothing special. There’s no reason to attach to them. You raise a hand to wipe off the fog and stare in the small mirror hung above your bathroom sink.

Pretty girl.

You scoff. You’re not a pretty girl. You’ve never been a pretty girl. Fat girl. Stupid girl. Sick girl. Tired girl. Sad girl.

That last one you’ve heard more than anything else. Out of all the descriptors of you it stands out as the most used. By everyone from teachers to your own family. Always just a sad, sad girl.

You got it from your mom, they’d say. It’s not like you would ever know.

You rip your eyes away from the mirror and try to let the thoughts melt away as you sink into the comfort of your blankets. Those thoughts live back on the other side of the Atlantic. They don’t get to follow you here.

[astro-royale]

Astrology Observations 20

DISCLAIMER!! My opinion✨🌴💕🌊🌴✨🌊🌴✨

If you want to manifest with and activate your Jupiter, work with opening your heart. Unconditionally giving etc. cultivating abundance consciousness and really developing gratitude and appreciation. Gratitude lists. Being compassionate, sharing knowledge, teaching and even travelling more. also, where are you being stingy? Explore topics of Faith.

If you want to activate your Pluto, simply work on boundaries and Privacy from a sacred point of view, also ask yourself where you give your power away and in what ways you use your power.

If you want to activate your Venus, take part in rituals which change the way you appear on a surface level, and even getting good at casual conversations, in a way that makes you feel good ofc. Even things like getting very specific about make up and colours you wear. Did I also mention, spending time with people you like and getting specific about what qualities you like in other people. Example: write a list of what you value and want in others, especially romantic partner.

If you want to activate your Neptune, you can do things like keep a dream journal, working with visualisation to really harness the energy rather than allowing it to be scattered. And ofc, getting involved with art.

If you want to activate your Uranus, focus on the little details which you think are unique about yourself, what puts you outside of the box? Notice it, Embody it.

If you want to activate and work with your Saturn, keep a routine, a schedule, notice how much time you spend on things and where you value and devalue your time. Self reflection practises too because it’s taking accountability for your actions.

If you want to activate your Mercury, start writing, blogging more, sharing your opinions, reading more and listening to podcasts. Sharing ideas via conversations. Also clear communication.

If you want to activate your moon, follow your intuition and connect to your body. Also drink more water since the moon controls the water. Connect to the waters of your body through things like yoga, being by the ocean, or any other body of water. Oh, and validate your feelings.

If you want to activate your Mars, explore your sexuality and find healthy ways to channel your anger, also exercise ofc, building strength.

If you want to activate your north node, follow your calling.

If you want to let go of your south node, do shadow work and work on your limiting beliefs so you can follow your north node.

The first house is the house of self for a reason, work on yourself and the rest follows,,,,, bit by bit. Honestly so much of your life will change just by focusing on the first and second house of your chart before any of the other ones. But ACTUALLY taking action on it.

These are all forms of manifestation BTW and forms of self actualisation

Have a lovely day or night wherever you are 🌴🌞🌊

[gentlyweeps-world]

Bets

summary: Trying to sneak a relationship was difficult with you working for Sky Sports and your boyfriend a driver.

pairing; logan sargeant x reader

warnings: none, fluff

LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

He loved being interviewed by you, he would spend the time admiring you, there was no complaint to it. Logan had eyes of innocence and gentle admiration.

"How are you feeling after today?" You asked, microphone in hand.

Logan looked at you, and his eyes looked at your lips and back at your eyes.

He smiled sheepishly, to engrossed in your looks and smile.

“Not feeling very talkative?” You ask with a smile, “Well- you had the best result you’ve had in your career so far, P5!”

“What do you think contributed to that?” You ask with a smile, a twinkle in your eye as you know your boyfriend feels great about it.

Logan laughed a bit. "Oh, I-uh-" he mumbled, looking away sheepishly again as he tried to find the correct words.

It was clear he was distracted by something other than the track, and even other than the results.

After a moment, he finally gave a solid response to your question.

"I think it was just, you know, all of the team working together to make it happen. Along with the build up of the weekend”

“We have some pretty good upgrades this season from the 2023 one..” He adds on, glancing from the camera to you.

“Of course, James seems to be making great moves with Williams..” You say with a smile, knowing you have set questions to ask.

“How do you plan on bringing this momentum to Miami your home race?” You ask Logan, admiring his blue eyes for a moment.

Logan looked down at his feet for a moment, clearly not wanting to make a mistake in his next sentences. After a moment, he gave a quick, thoughtful stare into the distance before he responded.

"I think I'm gonna have to focus a lot on being aggressive this weekend. It'd be great to do well at my home track. There'll be a lot of family and friends there, along with my brother..”

“Just gonna push, and hopefully take advantage of whatever opportunity we have with the pace of this season.”

“Right- well I’m sure you’ll do great! It certainly helps Alex got P6 right behind you..” You say, “Just one last question Logan…”

“How have you changed your racing style from last year in 2023?”, You ask, knowing he’ll hate that question since his rookie season was rough. You give him an apologetic look, hating that you had to ask that question.

Logan gave a brief smile as he remembered Alex finishing behind him. It was nice to be able to see his teammate make progress too.

Then, he turned his attention back to you as you asked him the last question, and it was clear the smile soon disappeared. The topic was something that still was a sore spot for him, and he wasn't exactly looking forward to addressing it.

With a heavy sigh, he took a quick deep breath and prepared himself to answer the hard question. “I’ve definitely gotten more aggressive with my driving style and been more careful with certain moves- added with a good bit of sim work” He says with a faint smile.

“Well you’ve shown great pace so far!” You say with a smile, “Maybe a Williams redemption?” You say teasingly with a grin.

The words 'Williams redemption' made Logan laugh slightly, and his smile seemed to regain a bit more genuine energy. He looked back over at you and responded.

"We can always hope" He started, grinning a little more. "With our upgrades we have, and the way things have been going, I think we have a good chance of making a big jump up the grid. I hope, anyway."

“Well I wish you guys the best of luck- I’ve always been a fan of Williams..” You say with a smile, “Thank you for your time Logan! Good luck in Miami, hopefully I’ll see you then” You add on finishing up the interview with him.

"Thank you, it was a pleasure" Logan smiled as you finished up the interview and he walked off. It was always nice when he got you as an interviewer, it made the stress easier to manage.

He didn't exactly mind the questions either, he just didn't want to talk about last year too much.

He glanced your way again and smiled, waving at you as he walked away to do more press. You see him quickly pull out his phone and text someone.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, showing a notification from Logan. “Meet at my drivers room in twenty?” The text reads.

“Of course see you then 💙”

“🫶”

You pass up the time by finishing up some other interviews you needed to do before you manage to sneak off to Logan’s drivers room, managing to not be caught.

It had been like this for a year, sneaking around and keeping your relationship under wraps, many had fans and media sites speculated things, but there was no solid evidence, by some miracle.

You knock on his drivers door, it quickly opens up and Logan grabs your hand and pulls you in, trapping your body between his and the door.

You grin as he pulls you inside and traps you up agains the door, his breath and his body pressed up next to you.

"I missed you" He whispers, taking you in his arms and leaning down, his lips just inches from yours. “I missed you too..” You say, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Logan pulls you even closer, so your arms wrap around his neck and he covers your mouth with his. He kisses you deeply, and you can feel the tension and built up stress from the evening slowly dissipate between the two of you. It was amazing to finally be alone and to be able to spend some time with him away from the cameras.

He moves you two so you’re seated on the makeshift bed in his drivers room and he’s in between your legs as you two kiss. Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling at the blonde strands.

Your legs wrap around his waist and pulling him further into you, your lips were desperate for his, and Logan eagerly reciprocated. Your hands run over his back, caressing him and feeling his form.

It felt like there was not a care in the world in that driver’s room, and your troubles seemed to fade, but only for a moment.

The door to his room flys open, you and Logan quickly pull apart, but by the looks of your disheveled hair, flushed faces and pink lips, it was obvious what happened.

“Hey Log- oh my god” You hear Alex gasp out, “I knew it!” Alex says, closing the door quickly and moving into the room. “You-“ He says pointing at Alex, “always got giddy and nervous around her, and would always smile”

“Then you-“ He says pointing to you, “would always smile and look up at him with love!” He says smugly, having figured it out. “James owes me twenty bucks now!” He says with a grin, having made a bet with the team principal.

“Wait- you made a bet with James?!” Logan asks, “Yeah I bet you two were dating and he bet that it was just a high school crush thing” Alex says.

“You can’t tell anyone Alex!” You say, a small smile on your face at the situation. “What about Lily?” Alex asks, after all if he found out something, his girlfriend does need to know.

You let out a sigh, “You can tell Lily…”

Alex grins as you let him tell Lily what's happened. "But James will want to know exactly when you started dating” He says looking up from his phone, you assume he’s starting to text James, “Im sure he’ll wants to know all the details. And when you two are going to make it official and public and everything" Alex says.

Suddenly Logan realizes Alex is starting to text James, “Hey- you don’t need to tell James all of this!”

“He’s our team principal not our dad!” He groans out, trying to grab Alex’s phone from his hands. Alex laughs softly, pulling the phone away from Logan as he continues texting. “Hey hey hey- you don't get to tell me what to say and not say! I made a deal and I’m getting every single detail possible” Alex laughs again, moving his phone out of Logan's reach.

“We’ve been together for a year and we met back in F2 when I interviewed him after a race..” You say with a smile, laughing as Logan pouts. “We’re not sure when we want to go public though…” You add on.

Alex's facial expression shifts to one of excitement and amazement. “Woah- and all of this has been a secret?” He says with a grin spreading across his face. “And wait, you’ve known each other for years?!”

Alex laughs, clearly in disbelief and in disbelief of how well you two have kept this secret. “Wait, let me sendJames another this text real quick” He pulls his phone down, texting something to James, before holding the phone up for you and Logan to look at.

You and Logan both look over at Alex’s phone, reading the text that he sent.

James I won the bet. They’ve been together for a year and knew each other since F2, I’m getting all the details now, I’ll tell you later once I figure it all out.

Logan rolls his eyes and groans as he realizes what’s being sent. As for you, you feel a rush of nervous excitement, hoping that James’ reply will be supportive.

Alex, I caught them kissing one time but didn’t have the heart to tell them. Let them know I’m very happy for them and will love to discuss more of it with Logan. 🤗

You feel your face grow warm after finding out he spotted you two making out. “I guess you don’t get twenty dollars after all mate!” Logan says with a chuckle, elbowing Alex.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Alex groans out, shoulders slumping. “I really wanted that money..”

Logan laughs again, and then looks over at you. He seems pleased that James is supportive of your relationship. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you close into his side.

"Well, it's a good thing he’s supportive and didn’t tell us off!” He says laughing still.

“He’s probably just happy you aren’t lonely anymore..” Alex grumbles out still salty as he texts Lily “his discoveries”.

Alex's grumbling makes Logan and you chuckle, the two of you just can't help but laugh at the situation.

"Maybe there'll be another bet somewhere down the road!" Logan says with a smile as he kisses your cheek. "And yeah- I think you're right, I mean he did mention that I'm in a more cheerful mood around the track this year”

“Yeah whatever- Lily says we all need to plan a double date!” Alex says, pushing aside what Logan said to focus on his girlfriend.

You and Logan give each other a knowing look, smiles on your faces. “That sounds great” You say with a smile, leaning into Logan, happy that Alex, James and Lily know, but a bit sad you and Logan won’t have as much privacy anymore, but maybe it’s for the best.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bets SMAU

radio 🪩: I loved making this, and I hope you guys loved reading it!

taking requests: ✅

[catskets]

A more in-depth guide for creating visual novels, especially in the horror, horror-romance, etc circles

Some of you have seen my previous, smaller post on crafting visual novels, especially in this little space of Tumblr that a lot of us have found themselves in. Since that post took off, I've wanted to create a longer guide to help touch on some points I've thought about for the past few months.

In case you've never heard of me, I'm Kat, also known as catsket. I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Game Design. I've been making games for nearly 5 years, and I've been doing visual novels more "professionally" for 2. You may know me for Art Without Blood, 10:16, God is in the Radio, or Fatal Focus. I'm here to help you make your first visual novel.

Please note that my advice does not fit everyone, and you may disagree with what I say. That's okay! It doesn't work for all. That's why there's thousands of resources out there.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NEVER MADE A GAME

So, you have an idea for a huge visual novel. Horror, a shady and obsessive love interest, a little bit of woo-hooing. 100k words. Maybe a million. What is this, the 07th Expansion?

I notice a lot of people getting into visual novels are artists first. That's okay! I wanted to do art for games before I realized how much I enjoyed writing. And even less of you have probably touched Visual Studio. Again, perfectly okay. We all start somewhere.

My number one piece of advice? Make shitty games.

What does that mean?! My recommendation to those who have never done games is to make a bunch of shitty ones. Think of a theme, or hell, even join a game jam, where you make a game that fits a theme in a short amount of time. Spend about a week on your game. Focus on making something polished. Polish your mechanics. Polish your output.

I recommend, if you can, to make at least 4-6, if not more, kind of shitty games before hopping into longer projects. Making a game is a skill, just like art, just like writing. And game development is combining ALL of these together into one big soup being stirred by a skeleton hand puppet. You'll get into the rhythm and see what works for you.

It also helps you learn, perhaps, the second most important thing here: do you even like making games? There are cases out there where people have created video games (not saying visual novels) just for clout. That's no fun for you, that's no fun for your players. And you might go through this process and find that you don't like making games. That's completely okay! It's not for everyone.

Also, you can use these shittier games to gather an audience. I've built my audience because, for the past few years, I've been releasing games that slowly give me growing fields of eyes every day. A success story overnight is a rare one. It takes time. It's like building a brand, but you aren't a brand, you're an artist.

REV UP YOUR ENGINES!

Ren'py is the number one engine you will be recommended. It is very beginner-friendly, with lots of tutorials, assets on itch.io to use and download, and support. The engine comes with a few tutorials in the form of games, whose code you can freely browse. This is the engine I use most often. Most visual novels you see are made in this engine.

Twine is a text-based engine that most people use for interactive fiction. You can add images and audio, though, if you don't mind messing with HTML. I use Twine for text games and for outlining for my larger games. Ever played Degrees of Lewdity? Yeah, I know you have. Don't ask why. That game was made in Twine.

RPG Maker has multiple versions and has been used for exclusively VNs if you don't mind fucking around with plugins. It can definitely give your game a super unique feel. I recommend RPG Maker MV, since it has the most resources. This line of engines usually costs money, but it often goes on sale for under $5-$15.

People will recommend TyranoBuilder, but as a user and player, the lack of options and the format the games often come in is just...not fun to navigate. It advertises itself as little to no code, but it's often evident in the final results. Some good games have been made in it, though, so if you want to use it for prototyping/practice, you can. I'm not a fan, but that doesn't mean that fans don't exist! This engine costs money.

Not an engine, but check out Ink! Super useful scripting language that's used for more professional projects.

DEMOS, DEMOS, DEMOS

You've got an idea for a long-term project, and now you want to show it to the world! But wait, wait, don't do that yet!

When should I start advertising my game? This is a personal opinion, but I say that you should not start advertising your game until 50-60% of your demo is complete. Why? As I've discussed with some fans of indie VNs, they can name quite a few projects that have been in the "working on the demo" age for 1-2+ years. I've been in the Kickstarter MMO circles. If you, making a single-player experience with little mechanics to balance and polish (aka a visual novel), are taking that long on a demo, I am going to assume the game is not coming out. There are some games I have seen out here that have been in "working on the demo" phase where I haven't seen a single ounce of what the project will look like.

What should I put in my demo? The purpose of a demo is to showcase the mechanics and the vibes and the mechanics of your game. It's a demonstration. In my last post, I pointed to the Dead Space 2 demo that was showcased at E3 (RIP), that takes place about 2 hours into the story and shows how enemies are defeated, some animations, bits of the story, etc. Usually, because it's less about mechanics and more about vibes, visual novel demos showcase a certain percentage of the full thing (5-10%.) Can you showcase the vibe of the game here and what players should expect? If not, show off another portion.

How long should I work on my demo? Before, I said 3-4 months. That can be true, that can also not be true. Think about how long the demo takes you in proportion to how long the actual game should take you. Don't put too much effort. The demo is to showcase the vibe. It's to see how much the public and fans may enjoy the game.

My game is 18+, what should I do? Make a splash screen when the game is downloaded to let players know your game is 18+. If it's going to contain sexual content, you can hide it with itch.io's adult content filter. Write it on the page itself that your game is for adults only. Don't put your demo behind a paywall. This is genuinely ridiculous. The purpose of a demo is to showcase what a game is like before a player purchases it. That defeats the point of a demo. I've seen this happen, and it discourages players from approaching, especially because most demos never make it past the demo phase. So...I'm paying you $10 for 2-3k words of a game that may never come out?

Should I make a social media for my game? YES! Go for it. These anchors are how people will find your game. Make a Tumblr and open that ask box. Make a Twitter. Go to BluSky. Advertising is not bad. Some YouTubers even take e-mail suggestions from developers. Feel free to shoot your shot. The worst they can do is not respond.

HOW TO SET UP YOUR ITCH.IO PAGE:

Getting your itch.io to a presentable state can be very challenging! There's many ways to do it. I highly recommend using this page image guide for learning how to size your images to make your page pop!

Itch.io themselves has suggested to not publish a page until the game or demo is released. You can make the page and keep it as a draft, but do not publish it until you're ready!

Your cover image is the image that will appear in the search of the website, on any front pages, in collections, and on your profile. What have I seen that works? Key art of one of the characters up close and the title of the game! If you can make it a .GIF, do it! Bitches love .GIFs!

Itch.io recommends 3-5 screenshots on your page. I recommend 1 of these 5 be a .GIF that shows how gameplay feels. This is effective, even for visual novels!

Write a 3-5 sentence summary about your game for the description. What is your story about? What is the draw?

DO NOT BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO IS GOING TO SAY "This is not like other visual novels. It doesn't have that cheesy this or that or-" No one cares. Genuinely. You're putting down other games in your genre and elevating yourself to the pompous level.

TAG YOUR GAME! itch.io gives you a list of tags to choose from when you go to tag. DON'T USE THIS! Try to go for more specific tags. Arimia has a very good guide on how to use itch.io's tagging system to your advantage.

GENERAL GAME MAKING ADVICE

SCOPE KNIFE IS SUPER USEFUL! Everyone makes games that are way over their workload. It's okay to cut out features and add them later. Prioritize making a finished game before hitting those stretch goals.

PLAN, PLAN, PLAN! Writing outlines is super helpful. I use Twine for my outlines, because you can connect your passages together and make really well-thought webs.

IT'S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP! Whether it's from friends, professionals, or anything in-between. They can help with assets, editing, etc.

HONE YOUR SKILLS OUTSIDE OF GAMES! Write some poetry. Do some sketches everyday. Improve on your craft to improve your games

MUSIC IS HARD. THERE ARE RESOURCES. Most of us aren't musicians. That's okay. Make sure the music you get for your game is allowed to be used. You can use anything non-commercial if your game will not cost money or donations. I try to do songs in the public domain or free to use overall with credit if I don't have a musician. Consult the Creative Commons website if you're unsure how you're supposed to use a certain piece of music. If you don't use the right stuff, not only can it put you in legal trouble, but it can put streamers in hot water if they play your game and they can't upload the video because music is copyrighted.

PLEASE, DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR UI. Wanna know an easy way to get your game to look more professional? Edit the damn UI for your game. Make a new textbox, even if it's just a black box. Change the font. Eventually, players recognize the defaults and patterns of games made in certain engines and may attribute a lack of UI changes to a developer being lazy. It doesn't take very long to change the colors around and move text! Please do it to add a little pop to your game.

DEADLINES ARE AWESOME. Not everyone works well under pressure, but if you give yourself an infinite amount of time to make something, it'll never get done. Set goals for yourself for how much you can work on something.

IF YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP, GIVE UP. Making things is hard, especially long-term. Emergencies happen, jobs happen, life happens. Let your fans know that a project isn't happening anymore. Don't leave them in the dark. You don't need to tell strangers your medical history or anything, but transparency + honesty are really hot traits. You should use those in your creative work. This is one reason why I advocate for not publishing or advertising things until you know it's stable.

SHOWCASING YOUR CONTENT

People love to see WIPs for games! This is what the devlog is good for! A devlog is a post where a developer talks about and showcases some things happening in the game? What can you add to your dev log?

PERCENTAGES! How much of the artwork is done? How much of this character's route is done?

SNEAK PEEKS AT ARTWORK AND SPRITES!

GIFS! GIRLS LOVE GIFS!

Anything else to showcase your game's content! Posting consistent updates retains and even gains a fan's attention for your work.

RUNNING YOUR TUMBLR

You've joined us, and you've made a Tumblr for your blog! Link it on the itch.io page, so people can come find you after playing your awesome demo!

Do I have to respond to every ask? No. It's your blog. Delete whatever asks you want.

I got a hate comment! What do I do? Delete it and move on. I have a more detailed section on hate below.

I want to interact with [blog]! How do I do that? Reach out to the devs for silly little collabs. If you come onto a developer slightly headstrong, they might feel you are being abrasive or using them for content.

If people make fan content, interact with it! Encourage it! Reblog it. Show your love.

OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS

PROFESSIONALISM IS KEY. These may be pet projects, but you want to appear some level of professional on your actual itch.io page.

Being dismissive of player and fan complaints or criticisms will make you appear childish.

If your game is broken, fix it. I have been told by some amateur developers to ignore game-breaking bugs. It does not make me, a player, want to engage with your content. It seems messy and unfinished.

With the above point, it's 100% okay to have bugs and errors upon release. Every developer and their brood mother has. To decrease these issues, get playtesters. Friends can play your games, spot any errors, and help you point out things that can be improved upon. I recommend having playtesters at every stage of development.

Make sure your game runs before you publish it. Please.

You can still be silly and giddy! There's no reason to not be, especially when you get positive comments! The point of this is to not be outright rude to potential players and fans.

IGNORE HATE COMMENTS. In this case, a hate comment is a statement that contains no constructive criticism and are only here to be insulting or malicious. People are going to leave you with actual piles of dog shit in your ask box. They are trying to provoke you. Giving hate comments any attention, even if you're there to "clap back" proves that they got to you, even if you don't take the hate to heart. They will continue to pester you. Delete any hate comments and ignore them completely. Laugh about them with friends in a private setting, sure.

THINK BEFORE YOU REFERENCE! I know one big thing in this community is adding references to other games in yours, such as plushies of other characters or putting them on posters. The best thing you can do it ask the developer before adding this. How would you feel if some random person you've never met put your character in a video game? Most of us would feel weird and potentially violated. Open communication with devs is awesome. I am usually okay with it as long as someone asks for permission.

As a complete aside, I prefer more tasteful references to other games as opposed to 523482346 plushies and posters. These have been slightly overdone. Why not theme a candy after another game's character? Maybe your characters know each other.

OTHER RESOURCES I RECOMMEND

Devtalk is a server dedicated to independent visual novel creators. You can find jobs, resources, advice, talks, and, like, everything there! Devtalk is super useful. Everyone in there is so cool. They have a really great and comprehensive list of resources that I could not even begin to cover.

Visual Novel Design is a great YouTuber. No other words, check the guy out!

Ren'py and whatever other engine you're using has documentation that's super useful to follow.

Arimia not only has amazing VN resources, especially for marketing, but she also just has? Amazing games that you should check out?

And for a shameless self plug, I'm the lead of Sacred Veins, a collective of devs creating narrative games, whether it be horror, humor, romance, or everything in-between. Come hang out with us!

[gjenkatarot]

PICK A CARD 💝 What's blocking love in your life?

→ Masterlist. → Exchange readings. → Paid readings.

≽^•⩊•^≼

⟡ Pile one ⟡

It seems like you really want a deep emotional connection—a kind of love that makes both people feel open and vulnerable. Something that lasts a long time, like finding a soulmate. You might want a love that's passionate and exciting, something that completely engulfs you. But here's the thing, you might also feel a bit scared or unsure about these kinds of connections, even if you really want them. It's like you're constantly thinking, "Does this person really like me? Why would they like me?" These thoughts might be holding you back from the love you truly want.

To get past this, you need to be open to new experiences and understand your feelings. Those fears are stopping you from getting what you really desire. They're keeping you from experiencing everything you want. So, take small steps outside your comfort zone. Be okay with being a bit vulnerable and stop worrying so much. It's about making those little brave moves and being okay with not knowing everything. Trust yourself.

You can bring love into your life by building a strong foundation for yourself. Take care of your needs, love yourself, and be open and talkative. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can help you attract love. Spend time and effort on your personal growth and getting better at things. By becoming the best version of yourself, you'll naturally bring love into your life.

≽^•⩊•^≼

⟡ Pile two ⟡

You might struggle with creating healthy boundaries in relationships. This can lead to conflicts or power struggles. It seems like you often have disagreements in matters of love. Because you're an independent person, you might find it hard to be vulnerable, honest, or emotionally connected. You tend to approach relationships with a more logical mindset, and you might rush into them without thinking about long-term compatibility.

To overcome these challenges, try expressing your emotions honestly. If something feels wrong, speak up about it. Focus on taking care of both your body and your emotions. Also, be patient with yourself. Take time to figure out what you truly want and desire. Make clear, realistic choices when it comes to love. Avoid getting caught up in unrealistic expectations. Instead, make decisions based on what aligns with your values and long-term goals.

To bring love into your life, be open and embrace your emotions. Let go of anything that might be holding you back from experiencing the love you deserve. Release old patterns and habits to make space for new love to come in!

≽^•⩊•^≼

⟡ Pile three ⟡

Your work or professional life seems to be a big focus for you, maybe even more so than your personal relationships. It looks like there are some fears and concerns related to love, such as insecurities, stress, and a busy work schedule. These worries, both from within yourself and from external factors, might be affecting your overall well-being. You seem to be taking a slow and cautious approach to matters of the heart, perhaps prioritizing work over romance and not wanting to rush into things.

To overcome these blocks, try finding a balance in giving and receiving within your relationships. Assess whether you're putting enough effort into personal connections and if you're open to receiving love and support from others. Be proactive in addressing any issues or concerns, and clear communication might be key to moving forward romantically. There's an opportunity for improvement in your love life, especially if you've been feeling isolated or left out. Embrace positive changes.

If you want to attract love, start by being honest and transparent in your approach. Be genuine and authentic in your interactions, avoiding the tendency to hide your true self or intentions. Embrace self-love and self-care. Cultivate confidence, nurture your well-being, and let your authentic, nurturing qualities shine. Release any self-doubt, fears, or limiting beliefs that might be holding you back from connecting with others romantically. Recognize your power and break free from any mental constraints.

≽^•⩊•^≼

⟡ Pile four ⟡

You're someone who is open to love and understands emotions well, both yours and others'. However, it seems like you might be giving a lot in your relationships and not receiving as much in return. Finding a balance here could bring more harmony to your connections. Right now, you might be feeling content and self-sufficient, which is great, but it could also make it a bit challenging to welcome new romantic possibilities. There are many opportunities around you; you just need to notice and embrace them. Actively seek out new connections and experiences.

You have the potential for a fresh start or a new emotional connection. To overcome any challenges, open your heart to the possibilities of love. Let yourself feel and express genuine emotions, and be open to receiving the love that others might offer. Avoid hiding your true feelings or intentions. Take a look at your past experiences and learn from them. Reflect on any patterns or behaviors that might be holding you back from fully embracing love.

To attract love, keep things fair and balanced in your relationships. Make sure your actions match your values, and aim for partnerships where both give and receive are equal. Focus on building a stable and secure foundation for yourself. This might involve being smart with money, knowing your worth, and showing confidence. Stay hopeful and positive about your romantic future. Be true to yourself, chase your dreams, and trust that good changes are on the way.

≽^•⩊•^≼

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.65)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: The truth always comes out one way or another, and with Jimin temporarily whisked away for surgery- it's up to you and yoongi to answer Namjoon's questions.

Tags: Angst, blood, guns, murder, discussions of morality, descriptions of dead bodies, discussion of past spousal abuse, confessions, hurt/comfort, sickfic, hospitals, reconciliation, vmin focus, Trans! tae, Everybody lives nobody dies,

W/c: 15.0k

A/N: this chapter is a bit heavy on the dialogue but! sorry that this chapter came out when it did, we're finally here! sorry for the break in chapters- I got some not great news about a family members health and wanted to spend some extra time with them over the holidays.

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

The abandoned industrial building rises without warning from the mist and fog. You could almost call in lonely. Although it has its comfort in its stillness, the same way that monsters that do not move do not instill fear. A foe vanquished but not forgotten.

The body. The dust. The puddle of blood by the door is more than enough evidence for plausible deniability. The faint splatter of it here and there like confetti left after a parade, or flower petals that fall in spring and pile up like snow.

Moonbyul stands in the doorway, like a pagan in a house of God. Out of place and out of mind. Dark coat unblemished by dust or blood. She doesn’t stoop to touch the ground or try and clean up the evidence from Jimin and Jin’s misbegotten hours here. She doesn’t think Hobi’s name, although she knows it.

God does she know it.

She’s poured over all the files that her men have collected about your pack for weeks now. Searching out weaknesses like a snake searches rabbit holes for soft fur and an easy meal. She’d spent the most time lingering over Tae’s file. The photos that shift from short hair to long, lipstick that she finds too pink and distasteful.

Red is better color.

She'd spent a long time pouring over Jin’s too because she’d needed to. Jimin and her cousins had been glossed over. She already knows enough about them to last a lifetime.

But only one file had given her paper cuts. Revenge on paper is not as sweet as it should be.

She doesn’t need to read that file anymore. Although she hears the words that the youth said so many months ago on repeat, you and Hobi in the coffee shop caught only on security camera. “I think I heard something I shouldn’t have”. As well as the ones that followed.

Contrary to popular belief, Moonbyul doesn’t like killing. She views it only as a necessity. She looks at the blood on the floor without any disgust. It’s been a long time since she’s cleaned up any alpha's mess, and she’s not going to start now.

She looks down at the blood and smiles. It’s a rare thing- seeing her smile. It’s different from her grin that bares her teeth. Sharped incisors changed and honed just before she’d been appointed the head of the moon family.

She remembers her mother's words when she’d looked at them in the mirror for the first time, She remembers that she could still taste the file they'd used to carve them. Metallic, like blood on her tongue.

“All the most dangerous alphas have fangs; you’ll need to learn to use them if you want to fill your father’s shoes.”

Familial death is more of a rite of passage than a time for mourning in the family. A time when power shifts and secrets get covered up or aired out. Like the moon waxing and waning.

Moonbyul hadn’t been born with fangs, the way alphas always are. Moonbyul hadn’t been born with a lot of things.

A smiling Moonbyul is either a happy or a bloodthirsty one. And a happy Moonbyul, when properly stroked- means they get privileges.

Privileges in their pack, amount to small little things most of the time. A night where they don’t have to take the heat inducers. A night where they can wear comfy sweats instead of the lingerie and stifling silk. But if they're extra sweet and good they get better things. A free evening where they can see their families as long as they come home before sunrise.

“Do you think he’s dead?” Solar is dressed as her clone today, with stockings pulled up her milky thighs flashing beneath the long hem. Extra extra cute in the way that she loops her arm into Moonbyuls and pouts. as if she's upset that her alpha is paying more attention to the murder than her.

She still smells faintly of sex, moonbyul, and her own ginger scent. Not like fresh cut- the kind that baked goods have around Christmas time.

Moonbyul smiles, rapping her long nails against where Solar's arm is curled around hers clinging to her as if her life depends on it. It does- Moonbyul and her both know it does. But Solar has always been a good pet. She’s never needed quite as much correction as Wheein who likes to know exactly where her cage ends and begins, or like Hyejin- who needs nearly as much combatting and careful maneuvering as their enemies.

She'd learned from Hyejin. Had never let the others have quite as much freedom or get used to challenging her. There's a reason why Hyejin had demanded to wear her mating mark and why Moonbyul had let her have it.

Omega's however sweet and however docile, still need a cage. Moonbyul's only ever tried to branch out of her tastes once, and she won't ever do it again. Disastrous as alphas are. They make piss-poor lovers and disobedient needy pets.

She sighs. Alphas and their messes.

In truth, the pack could use someone truly obedient, someone for whom being good is as easy as breathing to balance them out. The pack could use a good pup. The pack could use you.

Moonbyul burns in want, stewing in it ravenous. It’s not love, it’s not even really lust either. She’s never been an easily sated person. She’s always wanted too much, always finished the whole pint of ice cream in one sitting. She’s always wanted everything.

That’s why she’s smiling, because she’s about to get it.

She stands a little straighter, holding out her palm. “Why don’t we go see.” Moonbyul doesn’t turn to leave, however. She doesn't walk towards the body dumped at the back of the building, still bearing Jin's fingerprints. A single strand of hair would do it. She doesn’t make any move other than to reach into her pocket and take out a lighter.

She thinks of the family's assassins; The Bee, The Spider and The Wolf. She thinks of Park Jimin. The snake. Hopefully either dead or in the process of dying.

The body in the back of the building is another one of hers. She never thought that this would be the end of the Wolf, he'd always been one of their most reliable killers. Always showed up on time too, an exemplary employee. Not to be easily duped. She'll have to figure this out and pin down What did him in. But that will take time and energy, only one of which she has.

He was only supposed to wait in the wings and ensure that neither Park Jimin nor Kim Seokjin left this building alive, nothing more.

Sometimes things are just coincidences, sometimes if you're lucky- they're just bad luck.

This doesn't feel like bad luck, this feels like revenge.

Solar makes a noise in her throat, a questioning chirp. She really is trying to be her cutest right now. Moonbyul won’t reward her in a way that she likes, a way that she wants. Even songbirds still feel the itch to fly. Clipped wings and all.

She looks at the flame, sparking.

“Why won’t you just leave the evidence? Wouldn’t that be easier?” Solar is not as good as Hyejin at handling this sort of thing, not as experienced. But she’s currently handling other more important things. Things that need her finer touch.

Solar doesn’t understand why Moonbyuls going to light this place up like a fucking Christmas tree and do Seokjin’s dirty work for him. Solar is only a pup, and she’s been kept like that because Moonbyul likes pupish omegas.

She likes the innocence and obedience that people who weren't made for this kind of life have. So eager to please that they're willing to debase their souls. There is no greater sacrifice, no greater sign of love than someone willing to do anything for you.

This also happens to be why she likes you. Why she will have you. because neither Solar nor Wheein have ever been as good at this as you were. The perfect medium between sinful and pious. Cute even while killing.

And 5 is a prettier number than 4. 3 pups for her and Hyejin is a prettier number than 2. They need more than one for each.

Just one more pup, and then their collection will be complete. It took them so long to find the right one, so much trial and error. (Moonbyul despises errors. She's going to try and kill one before this is through)

She won’t let you slip through their grasp, not a second time. You should have never been Yoongi's.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to leave this as evidence? So that the FBI gets them all? We could just like- buy them off if they wanted to take her too-”

“Oh pup” she croons, half gentle. Flicking the lighter and letting it burn in front of her face before she tosses it The soil is so soaked through with gasoline that it lights as easily as a candle, slowly spreading from wall to wall and then- in the doorway, until the heat is too much and they have to move away.

“That wouldn’t be any fun now, would it?”

~-~

(Now, Namjoon)

Namjoon’s shirt is soaked so thoroughly with blood that it makes him cold. The hospital always feels cold, goosebumps rise like a mini mountain ranges on his arms. The hair pressed down where the blood has dried.

It’s not his first time covered in blood, but this time feels different.

He’s shivering, teeth clattering. His hands shake almost too bad to fill out the intake paperwork because he’d rather do it now than later. Park Jimin (registered, Kim) Alpha, weight 165 lbs (give or take a few). Blood type AB. No medications. No known allergies, no known prior conditions. No no no.

No.

Namjoon’s hands shake. He leaves Jimin’s ‘occupation’ blank.

Yoongi sits a few paces back, staring vacantly off into space. On the surface Namjoon would assume that he’s having no reaction and is feeling absolutely heartless about everything that's happened in the last 3 hours. But his breath becomes stuttered every few minutes, like he has to manually force himself to inhale and exhale. Like it’s taking all of Yoongi’s faculties to keep himself breathing and upright and not in a heap on the floor having a mental breakdown.

He kind of wishes Yoongi was crying and screaming instead. Then at least- Namjoon would feel like he had to be the strong one.

He can't get the feeling of stabbing Jimin out of his head, or the sound it it, the wet squelch of knife hitting skin.

Namjoon has cut into people thousands if not hundreds of thousands of times by now. But he’s only cut into someone he loves once, and god Namjoon never wants to do it again- won’t ever be able to touch warm prone flesh and hurt it, not after Minnie. Never again.

The pen in his hand weighs a million pounds. He contemplates asking for a piece of paper and writing out his resignation letter. he breathes in for 5 and out for 9, then sets it down on the clipboard and slides it across the counter for the nurse to take. Namjoon doesn’t hear her quiet tone asking him if he's alright and if there's anything she can do. just shakes his head on instinct.

There is a gaggle of nurses looking around the corner peering at Dr. Kim.

"Do you think he dresses like that outside of work hours?" "I never thought I'd be so attracted to jeans and a tee-shirt." Giggling in quiet voices.

It feels so strange, to hear people laughing while Jimin is dying. Namjoon almost wants to go bite their heads off and report them for poor bedside manner to the hospital manager.

This is Namjoon’s hospital. But Namjoon can’t find it in himself to smile or say thank you to the nurse when she tells him that the second she gets any news on Jimin, he'll be the first to know. He can’t say anything through the mountain of emotion in his throat.

If Namjoon’s love is a mountain, then his anguish is a river threatening to drown him. Yoongi smells like it- the line where water turns clear to brackish, Yoongi’s miserable scent has always smelled like the churning sea and now something that feels an awful lot like seasickness makes Namjoon sway on his feet.

Since he’s done with the paperwork, he promptly returns to Yoongi’s side and sits down. Only once he's sure he's stationary, does he pull a nearby wastebasket over between his knees to upend the contents of his stomach. It hits the top of old gauze pads crumpled up at the bottom and smelling like piss with a surprisingly violent sound, drawing the gaze of more than one person in the waiting room. At least it finally quiets the giggles.

Yoongi’s hand finds Namjoon’s knee, the hole in his jeans, The back of his ribs, stroking once twice. steady and hard the way that Namjoon likes. And Namjoon wishes he could snap at Yoongi. Wishes he didn’t curl into the touch. Wishes he was angrier. Wishes Jimin was perfectly alive and breathing and not going to-

Yoongi’s hand settles on the back of Namjoon’s neck, his throat, pulse hammering, thudding.

They’re just kids and Yoongi's hands are calloused. They've always been.

Deep down Namjoon still feels like he’s only 8 years old. Is just a kid and just starting to understand that the world isn’t all just papercuts and skinned knees; that it means something when people hurt. That it means something when you tell them you won’t let them hurt anymore.

He remembers promising Jimin something similar- a long time ago, the summer they all first met:

Namjoon remembers Jimin, standing in the apartment that wasn't theirs yet, after a movie night, the first movie night that the pack had ever had togeather (not totally togeather, becuase you and hobi hadn't been there yet but still).

It was the first time Namjoon had ever seen Jimin in something other than a designer sweater, sweats and a tee-shirt so ordinary that Namjoon was surprised it didn't make him look less intimidating. standing in the doorway waiting for Namjoon to notice him and look up from his medical journal.

"Yes Minnie? Did you need something?" jimin had shifted from foot to foot. looking up at jimin, a first slice of vulnerability in his eyes.

"Tae and Jungkook, they've got a bit of pain in them. I want to know what you intend to do with it." namjoon set his glasses to the side, the papers rustling as he forgets his reason.

"Make it better hopefully?" Namjoon had been struck with how oddly intense he'd been. Jimin had opened up with time and had gone sweet and trusting with the right amount of love. But he'd looked intimidating in his dark clothes and the wrinkle between his eyes like he was used to furrowing his eyebrows. A cute detail that Namjoon already wants to brush away. To touch. to cradle. To love.

He'll catalogue all of Park Jimin's cutest things in time. He'll treat love as a scavenger hunt, to find the softness in someone who tries so outwardly to be gruff and strong.

Namjoon's stained sleep clothes and promises felt all the more shabby in comparison.

"I need you to promise."

Namjoon had avoided it. Unwilling to meet his words with the same intensity. Jimin doesn't take chances with Jungkook and Tae. Tae's low laugh from the other room, Yoongi's matching grumble, overly fond already. Overly fond from the beginning.

"What about you? Doesn't everyone have pain?"

"Just promise."

"I promise to look after the three of you." Jimin had scoffed. Puffing up like a bird with too many feathers.

"I don't need looking after. Just them- when I go away for work."

"I know, but let me do it anyway." Smiling at the pretty alpha was so easy, so easy with the sounds of Jungkook and Jin's giggles in the other room. Laughter building itself into the walls around them.

"I promise not to hurt you or them. You have my word."

Namjoon lied, Namjoon lied back then and he didn't even know it. He upends his stomach again and Yoongi rubs down his spine.

“He’s not going to die Joon, he’s going to be fine.” Namjoon continues to empty his stomach, it’s pizza mostly, a bit of coffee, and a half-digested protein bar from this morning as well.

“Does hurting the people you love ever get easier?” Namjoon asks. Honesty, not anger in his tone.

Yoongi’s hair has gotten longer and hangs in his eyes. Yoongi never grew his hair out before you, always kept it in that short black sort of coconutty style. It makes him look older and all the more beautiful. Namjoon wonders if that’s why you like it; How regal it makes your mate look.

Yoongi has asked so much of Namjoon in the last few years, from leaving to coming back and bringing you. To hiding the mating mark and now this. Namjoon tells himself he should care more about Yoongi's lies and less about the fact that he just lied, period.

“No,” Yoongi grimaces. He always gets so quiet when things are bad, steady in that consistent way. He still hasn't stopped stroking Namjoon's back. Namjoon knows this is simply all Yoongi knows how to do, his first instinct is to love and not much else. “It was never easy.”

It’s not weird that they re-hash this now. Every time Namjoon learns more about how and why Yoongi left, he understands it more.

“I threw up too, just so you know- when I left, leaving you made me so sick that I hurled the second I got on that train. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” He blinks back wetness in his eyes, “I don't remember if I've ever told you that."

Namjoon nods. He can't remember right now either.

It’s been an hour or so now since Yoongi drove fast but steady steady steady to the hospital. Namjoon in the back while he stabilized Jimin in much the same fashion that you'd done earlier. The rest of the pack should be here soon. The three of you only lingered behind to clean up a bit and change your clothes, covered with blood and muck and who knows what else.

Yoongi sits like a statue and Namjoon can’t even look at him, can’t ask any questions or even start because he already feels like he’s yelling, and Namjoon hates yelling. This isn't isn’t exactly the most private venue for secrets that could land Jimin in jail.

Namjoon's still not entirely convinced that stabbing him was worth it. Namjoon’s brain is dizzy with terror. He’s still dizzy when he turns and sees you walking through the front doors to his hospital, Jin and Hobi trailing behind you.

He remembers the way you’d looked the day they’d gotten you checked out for the first time; how you’d run and pressed your face to his chest and buried your face there like just the sound of Namjoon's heart could make every demon and monster go away. For a moment, Namjoon thinks you might do the same thing. But your steps are measured, slow, and purposeful.

Namjoons eyes train on you, following you as you walk,

Yoongi stands, leaving Namjoon sitting with a cooling pail of vomit between his legs. he says something to you, to jin, but you don't pause, continuing until you're standing in front of him.

You don't say anything to him, just peer into the bucket and make a disgusted face down at it. Namjoon's teeth feel too sharp in his mouth with such a tense jaw.

Hoseok is on the phone, face gaunt and tired-looking. He must have drawn the short end of the stick and has the job of calling Jungkook and Tae and telling them what happened. They really shouldn’t drive themselves, but all Namjoon can reasonably do is restrain himself from cornering you and Jin and start demanding answers. 

He barely even turns to Jin when the omega goes up to the desk and asks if they can have a room, please. A private place for the pack to nurse their worries and not crowd the already-packed waiting room. Namjoon couldn’t name the nurse by name right now if he wanted to but he’s well known here and well-liked too. They give them one of the adjacent exam rooms to wait- Jimin’s surgery will take a few hours more, and there isn’t anything to do but wait.

Terrible terrible waiting, terrible terrible time. (You get a bucket when you want a drop and a drop when you want a deluge. Time only comes in two increments; too much or not enough.)

You drop a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder without a word. After some beckoning Namjoon follows you into the room. Legs shaking and sluggish at first. The pack is quiet even as the door closes. 

But once Namjoon's moving it’s hard to stop, careening like a comet or a bullet in your direction. Staggering.

You’d taken precious seconds to change your blood stained clothes before following Namjoon. You all pulled on the first things you could get your hands on. Which is how you’ve ended up in your mate’s shirt and Jungkook’s jacket, and how Hoseok’s in one of Tae’s extra-large pink sleep shirts stained from hair dye underneath Namjoon’s puffer coat and a pair of jungkook's grey work out sweats. Jin had been a little bit more purposeful- his sweatpants match- his matching purple set.

Namjoon's shirt is dark from blood, the bloodstain drying crusty, sticking to his skin like glue.

To say that Namjoon is angry is an understatement; rage rolls off of him in quiet unending ripples carrying with it the strength to change the pack for good if he’s not careful. He doesn't walk to the chairs no- he bee-lines it to you.

He watches you startle and turn, eyes widening. You do not make to move out of his path. 

Namjoon has never made you feel afraid before, but the pulse of it, the threat of fear is there as he backs you against the wall until your body lies against it. Looming over your head, so much taller and larger than you.

An alpha. An alpha hunting.

You tremble but you do not move to avoid him when he corners you.

He has a tiny bit of blood on his face, and a hairline splatter, almost like a constellation of stars across his temple. His fingers are harsh and shaking when they dig into your cheeks, pinching them until your lips open. Your knees tremble and you press your palm flat against the wall.

His scent thunders so thick and consuming that you can't physically stop yourself from trying to bear your throat. Namjoon stops you, holding you in place.

His eyes are dark and heavy-lidded as he looks down at you, He pinches your cheeks harder, shakinging you just a little. His voice is steady when he speaks, inches away from low snarl.

“Never make me hurt one of our packmates again.” You swallow, although it’s hard. And he pinches again- harder before you get a chance to speak- to try and defend why you brandished that knife at Jimin hours ago. Namjoon holds your face the same way he held the knife- tenderly.

“I mean it. Never.”

He holds you there for a second longer before he lets you go, leaving you gasping. His hand slides down your throat to your shoulder and neck, You would fall over if it wasn't for his touch keeping you up.

“I’m sorry.” You choke out, a few stingy tears making themselves known at the corner of your eyes. Namjoon rests his forehead against yours and closes his eyes. His spiky silver hair hits your skin. Rough.

After a second, he opens them again. Nodding. And his scent loses its bitter edge. He guides you to rest against his chest. You take big gasps of his scent now that he's giving you permission. Your instincts thunder through you so viciously that you can't physically stop yourself from tilting your neck and bearing your throat. 

Namjoon just drags a finger down it, humming. He holds you up, arms around you, a shield and a cage.

“It’s not okay.” I’m not okay, “but I forgive you.” Your knees do give out when Namjoon’s hand brushes the back of your neck, fingers digging in, a half hearted scruff that feels a bit like an apology of his own.

Even if he wants to be angry, anger won’t accomplish anything. Especially with you. His anger will only make you afraid and although Namjoon cannot be expected to control his emotions all the time, you have no reason to fear him.

He's never going to hurt you. He promised.

He walks you two strides, to put you into a chair next to Yoongi. Your mate takes you from him. The plastic chair makes a loud scraping noise against the linoleum floor. Jin's on your other side looking just as tired as the rest of you.

You'll get no rest tonight, sleeping in Jimin's hospital room when he gets out of surgery. Every fitful dream interrupted by the oxygen monitor on his arm. the first few hours when it will go off twice and prompt examination of his vasculature and operation site as well as a fresh dose of blood thinners. The biggest danger going forward will be blood clots; one too large in jimin's arm could leave his hand with nerve damage, numb for good.

But for now, Namjoon looks down at you, yoongi, and jin sitting in the plastic chairs. Secret, killer, and agent. All there in a pretty little row. Namjoon glares down at the three of you and crosses his arms.

“Explain.” Namjoon can’t wait another minute, another second. “Explain to me everything going on in my pack that I don't know about right now or I swear I'll-"

Yoongi scoffs, "That you'll what? That you'll tear us apart Namjoon? that you'll leave? Look around you- we're already falling to pieces." 

"You don't honestly expect me not to be angry that I had to stab jimin do you-"

"No, but don't yell at her. I have my limits."

"I wish I was one of those limits, but i'm clearly not since you insist on fucking over our pack-"

Jin turns, cutting them off from their argument with the true shock of his next words. You know that's what he's intending- but it sort of backfires. "Joonie, Don't get mad at Yoongi or her for this. Especially since I'm the one who shot Jimin. It was an accident."

You flinch, then put your head in your hands, namjoon's scent goes impossibly thick and angry for a second before he gets it under control. You physically watch Namjoon's hackles raise. watch Yoongi push back in his chair, leg jumping, running his hands through his hair looking from you to Jin, then back again.

"Jin, you should have kept that to yourself."

"What the fuck-"

Namjoon looks like he doesn't know weather to cry or laugh. "You don't just shoot someone on accident-"

Jin's got the best scoff, one worthy of music screens not just the quiet tomb of this room. Your relationship that's dying all around you. "You don't just stab someone on accident either and yet here we are-"

There are some secrets you take to the grave and others that you keep for too long, so long that they make a grave out of you. Keeping secrets is like keeping someone else's heart beating, you run out of blood eventually. 

You might vomit up the truth all over the hospital floor just like Namjoon did a few minutes ago. You feel sick and light-headed and sort of like you might have low blood sugar. namjoon's scent, angry alpha affects you more than you realize.

You start to teater, and their next biting words get extinguished when you almost fall out of the chair, nearly sliding to the floor before Namjoon catches you. One knee dully aches as he picks you up like you weigh nothing, ducking in close, real concern in his face, all his anger gone.

"Shit are you okay?"

"Pup?"

"Just got lightheaded-" Whatever it was, your lightheadedness will have to wait for another time. It's honestly probably just stress. Your heart feels like it's beating extra fast, extra hard.

Namjoon places you gently back in the chair and Yoongi touches your shoulder, the trio of their concerned faces that you swat away.

"We should wait for Hobi." You still owe him an explanation- for earlier and these aren't the kind of secrets you say more than you have to. A cup of water gets thrust into your hands and for once, they fall silent.

When Hobi comes in he’s mostly quiet holding his phone in his hand. Looking at you from across the room. His soulful eyes watching you, head tipping to the side in deference.

"Tae's in-" It takes him a second to gather his words. "Tae's in a fucking state. She was crying so hard that Jungkook had to call them an Uber. I just told her Jimin had been stabbed and nothing else because I didn't know what to tell her."

"That's probably for the best we don't have to-" your mate starts, but Namjoon cuts him off.

"No, no more secrets. Not between any of us."

Hoseok still has a hickey from you on the side of his neck, from you earlier. Jin's fingers skim down the one on your shoulder where a mirrored mark sits knocking you out of your Hobi-induced reverie, red and bruising from his mouth. Jin raises his eyebrow at you, but now is not the time to tell him about you and hobi.

"We've got like- maybe 30 minutes until they get here."

You swallow past a lump in your throat, readying yourself for it, “better make it quick then,” Namjoon waits, Seokjin is silent, watching you, gaze flickering from you to Hobi every few blinks. Yoongi holds onto your knee, sliding his palm down to your hand, your wrist. Finger digging into the sensitive scent gland there and rubbing comforting circles.

You swallow hard. “We’re all on each other's sides, right?”

“Of course,” Jin crosses his arms like he's offended you even had to ask. You bite back your retort. Namjoon nods, so does Hobi.

Your hair flops as you nod. But you still look to Yoongi to wait for permission. After a breath your mate nods and spreads his hands, giving you the floor.

If there’s one thing you know it’s that you can’t do this alone, you and Yoongi, Namjoon and Jin, Jimin and Tae. You and Hobi. There is no separation here, not when it comes to your safety. Each of you cannot keep the rest safe on your own.

“I met Jimin a few months before I met Yoongi, I…Yoongi’s family-”

Yoongi resists the temptation to speak for about 10 seconds when you fall silent. You can sense the moment that the truth shifts, when it explodes at Yoongi’s tongue. Unbidden but frantic and relieving like it's taken Yoongi's whole being to keep all this in.

“My family, I've never liked calling them that. Blood means nothing to me, you guys, you guys were always my family more than them." The pack is silent but you lace your hands with his and nudge his thigh with yours, encouraging him to go on.

"My relatives run the largest network of organized crime on the East Coast, from Boston to Miami. Everything from racketeering to prostitution to production and distribution of pharmaceutical-grade opioids. cover ups, sale of illegal weapons, extorsion of political officials and blackmail. If you can think of a crime they do it. If you can think of a way to make money, they've got their hands in it. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t go home- why my parents-”

Yoongi breaks off, his voice going small and quiet. Wounds he doesn’t talk about- even to you.

“There’s maybe 200 of us now. I’ve got a lot of fucking aunts and uncles. We try to stay in our lanes, our cities, and deal only in our respective crimes. There's a lot of politics and a lot of people vying for control here and there, but only alphas are allowed to lead, omega's increases the bonds of power in other ways and beta's- You know how rare beta's are- in my family- i'm treated as second only to the family head. Being a beta offered me certain liberties. Other freedoms. Not only to avoid most of the violent stuff- but to leave and move around without asking for permission. It's like a get out of hell free card. Not everyone gets that."

You snort, crossing your arms over your chest, “You mean they didn’t exactly expect you to go about popping heirs or advancing the family business through murder and ruining innocent people's lives. not like they expected with me."

Hoseok shrivels his nose, He looks from you to Yoongi- eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “hang on i thought- Are you guys trying to say you’re fucking related or-”

“Oh my god daisy-”

You splutter, “gross- No, we’re not fucking like- blood-related or anything.” You tap your chest. "I'm non family- brought in from the outside. Which means I was just about as valuable as piss to the aunts. In our world the only reason to mate or marry is for power- any other reason and your spouse is considered disposable." you cross your legs, admitting something you've kept to yourself, not a secret just a suspicion. "Geumjae never intended to keep me around forever."

Seokjin makes a strangled noise and Namjoon runs his hands through his hair, “Jesus Christ.”

Hobi raises his hands bare, “Sorry! You’re not doing a good job of explaining!”

"Well, if you just gave me a minute to get to the point-" Yoongi seems to shake himself, to put himself together. “Like she said- I'm not expected to partake in the family buisness, Only alphas are allotted that 'honor'." Yoongi puts the words in quotations and adds an eye roll for good measure.

"Mainly- I’m treated as some sort of glorified advice Column. People call and ask me things and I’m required to answer or else they’d hunt me down and drag me back. They bring me in to coordinate stuff because I'm a beta and I keep everyone calm and keep them from killing each other and shooting out their squabbles. I tried to keep you guys safe that’s why I left but-“

Jin’s hand goes to yours, nodding, because he understands. “But not why you stayed away.”

“No. It's not.” The pack's eyes naturally stray to you.

“The heads of houses report to the family head and she directs them to me if they need a beta's touch. Only she hasn't- the new Don hasn't asked anything of me since taking power. When the last one died- my grandparents- I left to help with the transition. But the new Don doesn't need me."

You flinch, you try to hide it but Yoongi turns, ferreting out that there's a secret there without you having to confess it. Your voice is darker than they’ve ever heard. "It's not that she doesn't need you- it's that she doesn't trust you."

Yoongi tries not to sound accusatory. "Her trust isn't something you should be after."

“It’s not- promise I just-” You pick at a stray thread on your pants.

The linoleum floor in front of you is polished so clean that you can see your reflection in it. "She shouldn't trust me either- and she knows it. Believe me she knows it."

Now it's Yoongi's turn to look at you. To pull himself to the edge of his chair to try and get in front of you. A wordless question that he dares not speak.

"Before you, I was already trying to do whatever I had to survive. including doing what everyone else did back in that hellhole and ask for help-"

Yoongi stands, to much energy and panic in his body to stay seated. “You didn’t." This is a fight and a confession you shouldn’t have In front of the rest of them.

You look up at Yoongi, eyes beseeching. He's quiet and you make your words as measured and soft as you can. "I asked your grandparents first- and then when she told me as long as I did what she said she'd get me out I-"

“She’s more dangerous than Geumjae, you can’t have honestly been trying to trade one captor for another."

The whole pack is silent, watching the two of you. Not really understanding. But Jin- Jin pursues his lips. You don't know how he knows but he does.

Yoongi’s face goes truly white. Yoongi’s hands are shaking. Shaking until he grabs the handles of your chair, knees to the ground, bowed in front of you. Letting your silence stew for a second.

Maybe it’s a terrible thing to blame it on her, you hadn’t fought not to kill. But back then it had really felt like your only way out, the only way to escape the ever-suffocating pressure of trying not to die.

“For what it’s worth, I had no idea what they meant to you when she made me help her kill them.”

Something shifts in Yoongi’s stature, from surprise and shock to resignation so quickly you almost miss it. A tense set to his jaw but a tight-lipped understanding as his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips and he rests his forehead on your knees.

He's very careful in his words. Slow with them and intentional when he lifts his head and stands. You don't know if they're lies. “Just like my parents, just like all of us in the family, I knew their days were numbered anyway.” But you loved them once you want to say. You’re not sure why you want Yoongi to be angry at you.

“I won’t apologize, not for what I had to do to survive.”

Yoongi cradles your cheek. Something dark and conflicted in his eyes.

“I know, but I’d forgive you anyway, even if you did it out of anger.”

“And Jimin?” Namjoon asks, Yoongi's hand drops from your cheek. "How does he connect to all of that?"

“I met him first, I asked him.” You hesitate. This isn't your secret to tell and you don't even know all of it- like how jimin even became an assassin or started killing. you don't know his motives. It's one thing to confess your own sins, and another to talk about Jimin's to them without his say-so.

Jin darts forward, holding your hand in both of his, “Whatever we say in this room- I’d never dream of recording. I’m not on anyone’s side but ours.” Jin screws his eyes shut tight, willing you and Yoongi to believe him. "Even with the FBI thing."

Namjoon whirls. He doesn't have to ask before Jin's spilling it. telling the truth.

Jin is measured with his speech, but it's his turn. No more secrets, that's what you've all agreed. "I've been working with the FBI for the last 8 years. They approached me back before we met Joonie- because of my proximity to Yoongi. First as an informant, then an agent and now the head of the task force.

"I only did it because I figured out that being a part of them was the easiest way to keep Yoongi out of jail. As long as I could reasonably assume I was the only one trusted and close enough to keep an eye on him, I could keep all the truly damning evidence out of their hands."

Jin turns to you, resisting the urge to reach out to you for his own comfort, you're looking at him like he's got three heads, but he smiles down at you, that pup-soft smile that he saves just for you when you're both nesting.

"I kept your name off of the photocopies of the recipie you used to kill them. Don't worry, no one but us knows." You look at Jin with new eyes, not a double agent but not an enemy either. Somewhere in between. Your heart pulses, and you grip his hand back.

Yoongi pulls his hands through his hair, angry, his tone grave "Well there's your reason-"

Hobi has been so quiet you've honestly almost forgotten he was there. Elbows balanced on his knees and watching the three of you on trial for Namjoon. "Answer to what."

"You don't understand Jin, you don't understand the laws of the family much less the one you've broken."

"The reason why someone's trying to kill you, if anyone finds out that Y/n killed them- everyone connected to them is fair game."

"You mean-"

"We're all done, if anyone finds out, that's probably why the new head of house was trying to take Jin out- to tie up a loose end."

"Hang on, I'm getting confused again." Hobi runs his hands through his hair, and it fluffs up. "Jimin's what again?"

“Jimin is an assassin, I asked Jimin to kill my husband for me but he said no.” You pick at a strand of thread on your pants, unwilling to look up and meet any of their eyes, not Namjoon’s or Jin’s. “Met him back when we meant nothing to each other. He still feels guilty for not saving me. We talked it out a while ago. It’s okay- I did it myself eventually- didn’t need anyone’s help.”

You look up at Yoongi and he looks like he might want to laugh or cry and can't pick which. “I don’t know much else about Jimin other than that he kills for the family."

"They've got people for everything, a few assassin's they keep on retainer," Yoongi clarifies. "People that anyone can hire if you've got the money for it. There are a few names that the family puts on a no-kill list, Children, the pack mates of the ruling pack, the heads of houses and their immediate packmates. If anyone kills a person on the no-kill list- their life is forfeit. I'm on it by default. The pack mates of the beta are on it too, All of you are on it. No one should be trying to kill you."

Yoongi's never paid much attention to the list, the waxing and waning names and faces and photos. he's been on it since before he was born and with no intent to kill or harm anyone and put himself even potentially in harm's way, he's never sought it out.

Maybe if he had, things would go differently.

A cold rush of realization rushes over you. "That's why Jimin and Jin ended up there" You stand up, adrenaline in your hands. "She was hoping they'd take each other out so she wouldn't have to break family law to kill them."

Yoongi shakes his head, "Something about this doesn’t feel right- something about this isn’t normal.”

Hobi’s phone dings before you can hash it out anymore. He looks down in his lap. “They're here,” he’s up and out of the chair, heading out the door and into the hall so quickly that the rest of you have to chase after him. Namjoon tugs you to your feet, staring at Yoongi and Jin. "Was that enough?" you ask.

"We'll talk more later." is all he says. But he does lace his hands with yours and pull you after Hobi. Your legs are so short you have to take two steps for every one of theirs.

“I wish Tae and Kookie were here for that-“

"They should know” your mate agrees, keeping pace with you in the hallway, dropping back with you when Namjoon accidentally lets go in his haste to get through the door. You make eye contact with Yoongi when you turn. Your back to one of those push doors using your body weight to push through it.

You pause, waiting with Yoongi on the other side of them.

“If anyone tells her about Minnie- should be me.”

(You know exactly how you’ll do it, you’ll tell Tae the story of you just like this. You’ll tell it like a story, with author notes and playlists near the end. You’ll talk about Jimin just like this; all of the good parts and all of the bad all in one. So that she might truly understand that having a choice doesn't always mean you're free to do whats right.)

Yoongi nods, “I can tell Jungkook. I think if I do it gently, he won’t get shocked enough to have a seizure.”

You pause before the doors open, to have just a moment with the two of you, just you and him leaning against it. He shifts closer, not holding you, hands by his side but he's close enough that you could rest your head on his shoulder. You do rest your head on his shoulder. Just to hear his heartbeat thud sluggish and heaven-sent against your ear.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” It feels like it’s been ages and ages since you’ve had a quiet moment with him like this. You resolve to have one, to make space for him when this is all over. A private date with just the two of you maybe. Whenever Jimin comes home. “To help with Jimin.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I killed your grandparents.”

“They weren’t good people,” Yoongi shrugs, you've never seen a sadder shrug. “I always knew that. They-” yoongi breaks off, stealing himself for a quiet confession. "I think they might have had a hand in killing my parent. She didn't like it- that they had so much power over me. Future of the family and all."

"You've never said-"

Yoongi pushes through the door, and a high pitched keening cuts off your next words. "Later."

You push through the door and Tae and Jungkook are already there. Entering through the outside doors with a puff of air into Namjoon and Jin's waiting arms. Namjoon holds Tae up as she wails and wails. Her cry high like a nightingale. Jungkook looks pale and shaky, settled under Hobi's shoulder clearly in shock.

You cut through them, ducking under Jin's outstretched arm and colliding with Tae before anyone else can join Namjoon in holding her. falling to little heap on the linoleum floor, just at the precipice of the long hallway that connects to the patient rooms and the nurse's stations to other surgical suites. Drawing countless stars, countless looks from passersby as Tae's sobs renew themselves, loud and broken.

You clinging to each other. Her arms around your shoulders, cradling your head like it's the last safe thing in the universe.

“Jimin,” her voice breaks, throat closing around nothing. Sobs wet and angry, hot tears dripping down her cheeks, big and unabated by hope. "Minnie- My Minnie-"

You cling back, getting your hands on her cheeks. “He’s gonna be fine, he’ll be alright- here- here let me help you up. We've got you Tae-”

Jungkook looks a bit better, a little bit less like he’s drowning. Jin reaches for him while you hold onto Tae. And JK’s nostrils flare, he steps back, looking Jin up and down. Tae clings to you on the floor of the hospital and you look up at them. At Jin and Jungkook, standing a pace apart. Jungkook's hands keep Jin from coming any closer.

“You smell like Jimin does when he comes home from his trips, you smell like gunpowder. And mucky-” Jungkook's voice breaks, "Jin? Why do you smell like blood?"

There are too many people around, too many people for something like this. You're just glad It’s a quiet omission, Jungkook’s scent is level and so is his breath.

Maybe you should give him a lot more credit. Yoongi might not have to tell him much.

Tae's tears hit your collarbones as she crushes you, sobbing loudly in your ear, immune to the string of sweet nothings that fall from your lips. Whispered against her temple.

To everyone else in the hallway, rushing in the late-night hum, you and Tae look just the way that you’d expect; Two girls clinging to each other, one tall and the other short. One an alpha and the other an omega.

The rest of the pack is so blinded by their concern and their terror that they don’t look up. They don’t look down the hall to see the figure standing there watching them. One second the hallway is empty of the dark figure and then next she's there- waiting for you.

Her pine and medicine scent is disguised by the smell of death that lingers here. Although more than 2 of the people there might recognize it if they had the patience to sniff it out. They're too distracted by Yoongi dragging Jungkook close and whispering in his ear to keep his voice down.

Moonbyul watches the scene from the end of the hall. Two coffees in her hands. One for her and one for you because she always assumes that you'll go with her when she asks. No matter what’s going on with your pack, Moonbyul is not the kind of person who you say no to. She’ll ask nicely for you to come one more time.

Or so she thought. Looking at you and Tae holding each other is giving her other ideas.

To love a man is something she's always been able to dismiss as a mistake. Little pups just don't know what they need and even less what they want. She'd been prepared to deal with you loving them, the alphas, on paper, even the admittedly pretty omega male currently in her cousin's arms.

But another woman? Even one like that?

Rage is not like other sorts of anger, it’s not like fire burning to take. Achieng to burn until all the heat has worked itself out. Rage is quiet, rage is darkness and a hunger that needs to consume. That will destroy even if you try to stop it.

It's one thing to know that you love a woman besides her, and another to see you peck kisses along her tearstained cheeks. The rage builds as she watches you cup that female alpha’s cheeks. She watches you brush her hair back from her eyes and tuck it behind her ears. She’s got honeyed skin and smudged lipstick (so inelegant) you wipe her tears away and kiss her cheek.

But what makes Moonbyul’s hands tighten into claws, her metal-tipped nails piercing the coffee cups and making them drip onto the ground, wet and hot, is the way you smile at her.

Moonbyul’s rage is like a tidal wave.

By the time the rest of the pack looks up, the hallway is empty except for a puddle of coffee on the linoleum floor and two discarded cups. One with red lipstick stains and the other without.

~-~

(18 hours later, Jimin)

Tae’s cheek is so soft. That’s the first thing that Jimin’s aware of as he wakes from surgery.

Coming out of general anesthesia feels like being a rickety buoy on the busy ocean. One second bobbing to the surface and the next crashing below the waves and taking on water. Sloshy. Everything feels sloshy.

He only feels her at first- not the hospital bed, not the scratchy sheets, Just the feeling of her cheek resting against the palm of his hand. Her gentle breath tickling his fingers in her sleep.

Jimin will always know the particular beat and cadence of Tae’s body. Would know it if the sun got snuffed out like a candle. Would know her breath anywhere because it’s the very fuel to Jimin’s soul, the very thing that sets the tempo to the heart monitor beating out a pleasant rhythm in the midafternoon hum.

Her skin is pillowy and sweet beneath Jimin’s flayed fingers, limp and cold to the touch because of the whole almost bleeding out thing. He doesn’t know it yet, but he's needed 9 units of blood in the past 24 hours. 4 right away, and 3 during the surgery where they removed the knife and stitched his arm together. And another two units just after.

Compared to his own body, Tae feels so warm.

At least Jimin can still feel his left hand. The doctors that stitched him back together must have done a bang-up job, Namjoon even more so. a lot of people can put an arm back together, a whole slew of them, but not many surgeons could stab someone carefully enough so as to not permanently injure them. There are only so many people that he would trust to stab him.

But Jimin trusts Namjoon with a whole lot more than just that.

When he opens his eyes (a task of herculean proportions) Namjoon isn’t there, it’s just Tae in one of those absurdly uncomfortable hospital chairs. She’s bent over his hospital bed in what must surely be an uncomfortable position to sleep in. Her back arched like invisible wings weigh her down. She slept like that, sprawled as close as she could get to Jimin without the nurses waking her up and telling her not to crowd him.

The smudged mascara on her cheeks flake like falling stars, little trails there were tears rendered it useless. Jimin wipes away a black droplet like he's banishing a ghost. She’s cried so much over the last 10 hours, most of her makeup gone and sporting a bit of 5 o’clock shadow too. The faint roughness that Jimin feels no more than once. Because to derive sensory pleasure from that feels…wrong.

He looks at the ceiling, wondering where the others are. He feels the edge of his body, the spot where the wound begins and the pain ends. Who knew gunshots and stab wounds could make you feel so sore? and tired too? Exhaustion pins his body to the bed like a butterfly to a corkboard.

A wire connected to his good hand tugs, But he ignores it in favor of cradling Tae's head and combing through the tangles in her hair. It's gotten so long now, just to her shoulders, but the bits feel so soft and gauzy against his fingertips. He wishes he could feel it forever. It’s much much better than the 5 o’clock shadow.

It takes a dozen passes for Tae to stir.

And then she startles awake, flinching into being. Fresh tears disrupt the mascara flecks as she beholds her soulmate and nearly tugs herself across his bed to get her hands on his face. To hold his cheeks.

To say that Tae has looked better would be accurate for jimin to say but the words would never grace Jimin’s lips. Not even close. Even with a crusty face and greasy hair- Tae looks gorgeous- so pretty that his heart pulses dangerously quickly. so quickly that jimin's suprised the nurses don't come by and check on him.

Maybe they haven’t given him enough opioids for his shoulder because for a second he feels his heartbeat ricochet through his whole body. To his fingers where he's touching her and back to his heart. Every echo and ripple Tae Tae Tae.

Tae bends over Jimin’s body. Her hands go to his face, fingers touching his smile, and thumbs pressed to his faint crow's feet and twinkling eyes. Clutching at him like he’s her lifeline (he is, a red string of fate that keeps her from drowning, always. She was stupid not to use it like an anchor).

“Pup told me.” She says, a note of finality in her voice, lower lip trembling, tears falling anew “told me you kept talking about me even when you were stabbed" she goes quiet, whispering the words like she's scared someone might be listening in.

"Pup told me everything."

Jimin’s eyes flick from her lips to her face, her body, everything. His hands are trembling, chest building with breaths until they’re heaving and the realization of just how much everything she must know hits him.

Tae knows Jimin well enough to know what a panic attack looks like- knows enough how to soothe it. Knows just to hold on and wait for it to pass. jimin's hands splay and flex, rubbing her skin once, twice, and then a third time in an effort to self-soothe.

"It's okay,"

"You mean you're not-" Jimin's heart monitor is going so wild that Tae has to tell him to calm down. Has to run her fingers up and down his scent glands on his neck, nipping at them to settle him. "You're not angry that I'm-"

That I'm a killer, that I'm a monster. That I've kept everything from you. Jimin readies himself, preparing himself for the speech he always knew he'd have to give. You don't understand, I didn't have a choice, I wouldn't have chosen this- I didn't I just. I never killed people who didn't deserve it- because I know that you'd hate that.

For the first time in their lives, Tae and Jimin are sitting across from each other- without a single secret to each of their consciousness. both of them free and perilously unmoored for it.

But there are no words that Tae needs when she looks up at him and smiles. Wetness at the corner of her eyes.

Seeing Jimin in the hospital bed had not felt like Patroclus and Achilles, it hadn't even felt like Orpheus and Eurydice. There was no roaring anguish. The kind that follows when people leave you too soon. Or the bitter vindication that happens when people leave at just the right time (it’s the worst when people leave like that. Either linger or make me miss you. Stay too long or leave me early. Either way is fine. I’ll feel more human if I’ve got longing or hatred to feel).

In truth seeing Jimin in the hospital bed, wires and hooks connected to him- keeping him alive and keeping him breathing, had felt like a second chance. She's not going to let something as simple as a secret spoil it.

Tae knows she should want to know more about Jimin's job as an assassin and should want to ask more questions (if not to understand her soulmate better, than for writing material). She Should be more revolted or disturbed or upset that her literal soulmate kills people for a living, but at the moment, all she can find in herself is just to be glad that Jimin is fucking alive.

It’s funny, how much your priorities can shift.

Jimin looks like he doesn't believe her. "Tae, you can't even kill spiders."

"Would you care?" Jimin falls silent. "Would you care if it was me in your position?"

Jimin swallows hard and winces. He doesn’t have to ask for a sip of water, because Tae has already gotten it for him by the time his good hand closes over his throat. His shoulder is bound so tightly in bandages that he can hardly shift it. Can't reach up to stop himself from spilling a bit of the water down his chin. Her nails (red polished and chipped) wipe away a drop on his lips.

(There's more that you weren't able to tell her just yet; a lot about you and Yoongi and Jin. You've decided to save the bulk of how Jimin ended up in the hospital bed until after Jimin woke up. Later when you can get her on her own you'll tell her. Probably after Jimin's discharged from the hospital. But the other secrets can wait for now).

It won’t really hit her until later. When she’s in her closet looking at all of her pretty things and designer clothes. Fingers toeing along the fine black cashmere sweaters, to the maroon dresses, to the scarlet ones, stopping just before she reaches the pink. The Dior, the Versache, the McQueen. It will only be then that she'll put two and two together and realize they were all paid for with blood money. With people’s lives.

It will bother her then; it doesn’t bother her right now. It will never bother her enough to think about leaving jimin.

How do you make the choice? What to condemn a loved one for? How do you pin down your line of intolerance when it's someone you love with your whole being? Can you decide at all or is it something that your soul chooses for you? The weight of one sin for another. what you're willing to go through.

They would have died anyway. Even if Jimin hadn't killed them, they had someone out there willing enough to pay for their death and they'd have died anyway she rationalizes. We're all going to die anyway.

Maybe it’s a silver lining that Tae no longer believes in the same kind of sin and wrongness that Jimin does. Doesn’t believe in God and heaven at all. Tae has always believed in soulmates more and believed in Jimin the most. More than any god or afterlife.

“I should be angry, anyone else probably would be but-” Tae turns her cheek into Jimin’s fingers, pressing her lips to his trigger finger. Eyes shining when she looks at him. “I’ve wasted too much of my life being angry at you, wasted too much of it feeling anything but love for you- Jimin- if you died, I-”

Jimin cradles Tae's cheek. “I’m sorry for Namjoon’s rut- for what I said. Didn’t mean it. Never mean it if I'm mean-” Jimin’s finger rubs across Tae’s lips, the wide part of his palm splayed across her jaw, and so much is said in that little touch. But they look at each other and laugh. "Not like Noodle."

It shocks a laugh out of Tae and she presses her temple to Jimin's jaw, feels his smile when the joint moves. She realizes that Jimin's still a little high. Probably too doped up on pain medicine to have this conversation but oh well.

“I never thought it would take you getting stabbed for me to realize it,” her lip trembles, “I don’t want to waste another second being angry with you.”

“I don’t want to waste another second with you either. Won't even sleep,” his eyelashes flutter, struggling to stay awake.

Tae pulls herself more firmly on top of the bed and Jimin shifts a little, wakes a little more when she slings a leg carefully over his hips. Being gentle, still conscious of his physical state. He uses his good arm to pull her up and up until She’s splayed across his lap.

Kissing Tae never loses its edge, it always feels like their first kiss, sweet and with that knotted bundle of anticipation. Jimin sits up into the kiss, sits up until his shoulder protests and he hisses into the kiss. "Don't strain yourself minnie-"

"Don't care just-" he pulls her hips snugly. After that words are sparse as they kiss, again and again, lips working together. Sloppy messy love kisses. Every breath tastes like love, every second of it. She giggles pulling apart for a second to get her breath, the heartbeat monitors in the corner going wild. Breath that washes over Jimin like a gust of spring air, cinnamon flower sweat, and heady. Tae’s kisses are better than a first sip of coffee or a breath of fresh air. (They’re better than living, just a little bit).

“If I was any less sore, I’d ask you to bite me right now.”

Tae grins, and it’s a special secret smile. “You said something like that to Pup too."

“I’m so lucky I get to be yours- don't want to waste the luck-" Tae shakes her head stubbornly pulling back.

"I don’t think that you should say you’re lucky. I’m so lucky that this person loved me, or I’m so lucky that I got to love them. Because when it comes down to it, love and luck are not the same thing. Love is not a single event, like winning the lottery, or finding a 100-dollar bill. Love is a choice and you have to choose it a thousand times. Every day you choose it. Luck is such a cop-out. It’s been really nice.”

“God, I hope I’m more than just nice.”

Tae smiles, “Shut up” She goes a little pale. “Actually don’t shut up with me like- ever. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say.” She plays with Jimin’s hands, “Is that when either of us- whoever- goes first-“ Jimin’s grip goes knuckle tight on her waist, he's coming out of it, a little more lucid with every breath. Waking up more.

“When one of us dies- I don’t want to question if I ever loved you enough, I don't want to rely on just luck. I don’t want to think about the days that I could have gone for coffee with you or could have kissed you longer. I don’t want to think that I didn’t get exactly what I wanted and you didn’t get exactly what you wanted too.

"I want to give you one extra kiss every time so that you get twice as much as you would have gotten otherwise. I just want to think that it was nice, that every moment of it was nice- even when we fought, I want to look back on it and think ‘even the sad parts were nice and I got more than I thought I would.' No luck involved.”

She grins down at him, that same youthful grin she’s had her whole life, Jimin thinks of it sometimes- how many times she’s smiled this way and he hasn’t seen. How many more he will see.

“Also, y/n says that you’re allowed to mate me, but not marry me. She says my ring finger belongs to her.”

Jimin slides up the bed, flipping her over, supporting himself with his good hand, sending her sprawling and giggling. His growl is half hearted but promising. Tae laces her hand in his greasy blonde hair and it stays there.

It stays there.

~-~

The rest of Jimin’s hospital stay goes a bit like this:

There is a pair of suits outside the window, dark and imposing. plain clothes police officers watching and waiting like vultures. They’ve already taken statements from the pack but demand to hear from Park Jimin himself.

Lies from the source always taste the sweetest.

There is a story ironed out and penned in stolen moments, you curled up in one packmate's lap and transferred to another, "the pup" Jin had said, the youngest, was not taking her alpha's stabbing well. "She just needs a bit of soothing, sorry." The suits are charmed enough by two cuddling omega's that they don't notice your mouth pressed to their ears, like a game of cuddly murderous telephone.

The story gets ironed out easily, you’d all gone out for pizza, had come home to find Jimin bleeding in your kitchen.

“It’s pretty normal for Jimin to be reckless with his health. I’m not surprised he tried to come home and see if I could stitch him up himself. I'm a doctor at his hospital- Dr. Kim, pack alpha and head of neurosurgery. The knife- you should know I touched it on accident he wanted to remove it himself and I just had to stop him- I’m sorry- I should have known better I was just- so shaken.” Namjoon is a passable liar at best.

Jungkook has folded himself under your mate’s arm, and Jin’s too. He’s still vaguely shaking, bunny eyes wider than usual. In a little bit, Namjoon will drag him over to an empty exam room for a quick check-up. Just to make sure he isn't about to seize on the floor. Yoongi will go with him, Will tell him the truth about all of this then.

But what, with his comment earlier, you wouldn't be surprised if Jungkook has already figured it out on his own.

Jimin doesn’t even need to be coached into remembering it. The police don’t even think of not letting the pack see him, after seeing Tae’s teary eyes. A pretty girl is the best distraction, and the pack has two pretty girls that smell sour and need to tend to their alpha before the police get a chance too.

They’re impatient as they watch you and Tae fold yourself over Jimin’s barely aware body, more preoccupied with looking at your asses than they don’t see your lips moving against Jimin’s ear, mistaking your shaking for the racking sobs. And your quiet words for sweet nothings.

Hobi had barely leashed a growl, and resisted the urge to step in front of you and block you both from their sight.

The story is so easy and simple- a true case of Ockham’s razor. The simplest story with the least details is the most likely to be believed. the story Jimin tells the police goes like this;

Earlier yesterday, a crazy fan of the idol group he guards that must have followed him from his schedule with intent to learn his schedule and get closer to them. Her description is so ordinary that they’ll never find her because she doesn’t exist. Any person found will easily be made inculpable; either by alibi or honesty. Not that the law cares much about honesty, nor that any of you care about possibly implicating a stranger.

Love always did make people go to extremes, it's easily believable.

Nothing else matters. Besides keeping everyone safe. You're united against this.

Once they're gone, other promises get made:

“I want you to quit, this is too dangerous, if something like this happens to you again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it.”

“We need to make sure we travel in pairs until we figure out what’s going on, why they're targeting Jimin and Jin.”

“I can ask some of my contacts-“

“You’ll do no such thing Yoongi.”

“Do you think we should be like- Armed? Just in case?”

“I don’t think more guns will solve anything but…Maybe.”

In a stolen moment, Namjoon corners you outside Jimin's hospital bedroom, he's holding three bags of takeout, not that Jimin will really be able to eat much of it. The opioids keep down his appetite. That doesn't meant the pack won't try to fuss. As it is, Jimin hasn't been interested in anything but kissing Tae and holding her hand. Pouting whenever the nurses make tae leave.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier," Namjoon has always found apologies easy and has never had so much of an ego that it would get in the way of any of it.

"It's alright, between you and me, I think it was kind of justified." You'd probably yell at all of them if they convinced you to stab Yoongi or tae or any of them.

"No more secrets, okay? Promise me this is the last one." It's easy to promise Namjoon that, so easy. To let him scent you, rubbing his coffee liquor scent all over your shoulder.

(But it's not about the promises that you make, it's about the ones that you break.)

You sit out in the hallway the following morning, still in the same clothes and starting to feel a little bit filthy because of it. None of you have gone home yet. Hobi sits next to you and Jungkook's on the other side.

They’re just checking Jimin’s stitches again, and his hospital room just got a bit crowded. The prospect of checkout is maybe a day away. Tonight is the last you'll have to spend at the hospital.

It was also time to talk over Jimin’s opioid regimen, and the doctor had been nearly delighted when Namjoon had stepped up and taken the lead, reassuring the doctor under no uncertain terms that Namjoon would manage them. You can forgive him for thinking a little too much with his hindbrain. If Namjoon leaned any more into his instincts you'd be worried he was close to going into a rut again.

“Is this what it’s like when I’m in the hospital?” Jungkook asks, sucking on some skittles. It's more sugar than he should be allowed to have especially during a high-stress situation. But Jungkook’s taking the panic to get a little bit of freedom. You cast a glance at Tae, at Yoongi and Jin, standing by the door looking like he’s about ready to twitch out of his skin with the effort it's taking him to stand outside.

Jin had apologized- him and Namjoon both, and Jimin had accepted it instantly. "If I trust anyone to shoot and stab me- it's you two so-"

"But-" they'd argued, but eventually Jimin had turned a little scary, a little threatening. showing a hint maybe- of a persona they're all unused to but you're not. Jimin can be firm when he needs to be. A quick retort of-

"Forcing me to comfort you over something I'm not upset about is not the way to make me forgive you." Shut them up for good (or at least for now).

“Yeah, pretty much.” You hold out your hand for some skittles and he gives you a few. Hobi grimaces and reaches over to take the orange ones out of your palm. He knows you don’t like those. He replaces them with a few green ones.

"It’s fucking boring. I should get you guys like- a DS or something for Christmas.”

“Don’t tell Minnie or he’ll blow all his money on-“ You cringe at your words and Hobi flinches. Jungkook just chews on his candies, they smack against his teeth with a hard clinking sound.

There is still some of Jimin's blood under Hobi's fingernails. You see it when he reaches over to take your Skittles.

The next time Hobi moves to take your Skittles, you grab his hand and pull him to his feet. "Come on."

You lead Hoseok into the women's bathroom, underneath the curious eye of the nurses, all the stalls are empty so you pull him over to the counter.

“You’ve got some- stuff- under your nails- let me.” You rip a handful of paper towels from the dispenser and wet them. You clean Hobi’s hands diligently and he lets you.

He stays quiet, Hobi's been quiet for the last day or so. He hasn't done more than whisper a few quiet words to Jimin and stay close. He didn't say anything during your secret confession yesterday. Didn't ask a single question and the silence bleeds now as you scrub the clean-smelling soap against his skin. Your anxiety builds, and you scrub a little harder. His fingers remain limp in your touch.

“Say something- say anything okay? I need to know that you’re not-” not angry with me. That you don't hate me- that you still love-.

Hobi pulls you against his shoulder in a single clean movement. His wet hands hit your stomach when he grabs your hips. Your nose brushing his throat, his nose skimming your hairline.

“I’m trying not to take too much energy from Jimin- trying not to- be a mess- because he's the only one who deserves the packs attention. I'm not even sure if I am a mess about it. Sure that sucked but-" he sighs, "you and I are kinda like- uniquely able to handle things like this cuz of-" he doesn't need to finish his sentence. Hoseok's lips brush your ear, lips touching your skin, and- he pulls back, smiling softly. It's a tired smile but there it is- soft and special and just for you.

“You’re taking things, remarkably well considering the last time we…”

“The last time we had to deal with something like this?”

You hum, scrubbing a paper towel hard over the ends of Hobi's hands. The white paper goes orange-red with dried blood. "Give it time. There’s still a few weeks for me to go crazy this time.”

But this time, you have a feeling that it will be different. Although Hobi was there the last time- and played an instrumental role in making sure you didn't literally fall apart. It's different now. Right now, your hands tangle on the counter, holding on, even though you try to clean his hands of blood. Holding on is more important, neither of you tries and pull away. You don't have the energy for shyness.

What's more intimate? Sex or murder?

He huffs a small frustrated sound and stoops to rest his forehead against your shoulder, leaning almost all of his weight on you. You take it.

“Maybe this time I’ll take a crack at going crazy.” You laugh, stopping your brushing and just settling for holding him. Hips resting against the counter. The two of you rest, just for a moment.

Your nose against the side of his face where his undercut presses to your skin, spiky. "Still have that train ticket?" Hobi humms, taking a deep greedy breath of your scent to steady himself.

You're not expecting him to pull back and kiss you, but his lips are dry but warm, faintly chapped but yours are too. Pressing soft but demanding against yours. Hobi kisses you just as sweetly as last time and you grip the front of his jacket.

No sooner has he heaved you up on the counter, fingers hooking under your thighs to kiss you stronger- than is the door clanging open and a nurse comes barreling in.

"Ugh- uhm." She's a little stunned, but you're already hopping down, faces flushed and apologizing for the inconvenience.

You don’t throw the bloody paper towels in the garbage, but the toilet, flushing them once, then twice, to make sure that they’re down. Mumbling one last apology before you exit the bathroom together.

Hobi doesn't let go of your hand. You wonder if this is what loving him is going to be like; making out in places you shouldn't, special secret stolen glances when you keep holding hands even around the pack and keep stealing kisses.

You wonder if the kissing will stretch to the cars- to the late night drives, if he'll hold your hand like this around every hairpin turn. If Hobi's going to make you a make out playlist later, full of songs that make him think of you, songs that match the cadence and pitch of your heart. You wonder if loving him will be like this, stolen innocence, like finding sea glass on the beach. There and pretty for the taking if you only look for it.

Your heart feels all warm and tight with it, swaddled. Protected as Hobi tugs you back into Jimin's hospital room. You can't wait to find out.

The next few hours look like this; Namjoon sitting on the foot of the bed his hand on Jimin’s knee, feasting on hospital food. Jungkook giggles, and nearly throws himself across Jimin’s lap so that the alpha can put his hands through his hair. Looks like more takeout, living off of it because no one wants hospital food and you can't go home and cook. You refuse to leave right now.

It looks like Tae smiling for the first time In what feels like years but has logically been only a few hours. Rubbing a hand across her jaw and wincing when she feels the stubble.

Her wince quiets the sounds of the pack happy. And you look up from your plate.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, always stupidly attuned to her and her needs, always watching and waiting.

“I need to freaking shave and I just- I haven’t had the chance to.” Tae lets out a tired sigh, the kind of deep frustration that comes with things that you have no choice but to do.

You take her hand from her chair and tug her up. Because this- this source of angst can be fixed.

“Here- come on,” A shaving razor gets found for her, Namjoon goes to the surgical ward to get the right kind. Sharp and medical and disposable along with a tiny tube of shaving gel. You drag her chair into the bathroom and make her sit while you do it. Lathering up her cheeks and tipping her head back. The whole pack a cacophony in the other room. The shock of skittles and other candies falling onto the floor. Muted words then soft laughter.

You drag the shaving razor up her chin, over her chubby cheeks. Your gentle touch, the soft scrapping of her hair against the blade a gentle accompaniment to the sounds of the pack passing the time until Jimin wants to go to sleep. Jungkook's phone plays a tictok loud, "Bunny- headphones, Minnie's trying to rest" Yoongi reminds him.

Jimin is struggling not to fall asleep, shifting to one side of the hospital bed just to get a better vantage point to look into the bathroom at Tae. Jimin cranes his neck.

Tae's face twitches, and underneath the white froth you see her reddening cheeks. “Stop looking at me.”

Jimin grins from the hospital bed, “Can’t help it, love you.”

“Love you too Minnie” She choruses back, and the pack joins her.

that night, namjoon and yoongi push three hospital cots togeather around jimin's bed and the pack piles in, sweet bodies and kissed cheaks, whiped down with sanitary towels, you end up tucked between tae and hobi, your cheek pressed to her back.

the following morning it becomes impossible to ignore both how purely filthy the 8 of you are and the fact that Jimin's doctors won't let him check out until tomorrow (and even then he'll have days of bedrest and won't be able to use his arm until he gets his stitches out.) You haven't been home in two days, no one can remember if you even locked the front door with how crazy leaving was.

It’s hard to convince Tae to go with you and leave Jimin's side. But she's less resistant when Yoongi reminds her that Jimin needs new clothes to go home in since all of his bloodstained clothing was discarded as medical waste.

“Honestly we should get like- to go bags full of a change of clothes for all of us when like, JK has his seizures,” Maybe it’s just because you’ve done overnights twice in the last week at the hospital- but the idea doesn’t seem like a bad one.

Jin drives you, Hobi, and Tae home in silence; no one tells Tae any of the other secrets yet. Tired as she is, almost falling asleep in the car. Waking with a start when you turn onto your street.

It's a little shocking. When you get home to a cold and quiet house. Jimin's blood has dried up into dark waxy puddles, on the kitchen table and the floor. There are fingerprints from someone, rusty and red on the doorframe. It's stark to see the evidence. To see a bit of it on the butcher block countertop all the terror and the color leached out of it in the grey afternoon light.

Tae is so stumbly that Hobi has to grab her twice just to keep her from walking into walls when he gets her inside. Noodles immediately yowl has you feeling terribly guilty, he circles your and Hobi's ankles. But you push at Hoseok's hands when he stoops to pick him up.

"Take Tae upstairs and shower with her, will you? I'll be up in a second, just gonna feed him and get some stuff together." She's blinking and looking at the bloodstains, eyes already looking glassy with fresh tears.

You need a second, a second in quiet, a second alone just to steady yourself. Jin comes in, dragging in a mountain of mail from your box, "I've got them, come on pups, grooming time."

Jin pecks a kiss along your forehead, "Come up the second you finish?"

You nod, "Just want to get some food first too- hungry."

Jin nods and makes to follow Hobi and Tae but pauses on the stairs. he looks like he wants to say something to you. Eyes full of something unreadable and warm. Unspoken words hover.

If he had to choose anyone, I'm glad he chose you.

But before he can get it out Tae calls from upstairs. "Jinnie? Can you grab one of my comfy sets from the closet down there before you come up?"

You stand, solemn in the kitchen, listening to the sound of them on the creaky stairs, the sound of their quiet voices. The creek of the house as they walk around upstairs.

"Here you go baby," you say, giving Noodles an extra spoonful of food. You know you left enough for him in his bowl and that he didn't suffer too badly. But still, his purring chirping is music to your ears. You pet over his back, his fluffy tail.

He's Still chubby, still good. You aren't too bad of a pet owner then.

There's the gun still there, sitting just to the left of Jimin's blood splatter on the seat of one of the dining room chairs. You're at eye level with it from where you crouch down to pet Noodle. It's the same one that you pulled out from under the bed when you found out he'd been shot. You should probably take it with you when you go back to the hospital, just to be sure.

"You got any secrets for me nu? Are you the long-lost prince of some cat kingdom?" Noodle chops down in response.

You go to the hallway closet to get a duffel bag, where the pack stores their larger bags and luggage.

"Hey!" Hobi calls from upstairs, muffled through the roar of the shower. There isn't much other noise in the house. The birds outside aren't chirping, probably because you haven't been home enough to fill their birdfeeder.

Probably.

"Yeah!?" You call back up, upending the duffel bag and sending a bit of loose change, some quarters and pennies scattering onto the floor. you stoop down to pick up a few of them, tossing them back into the closet with a metallic clang (to be dealt with later.)

“Can you grab Tae's phone charger? It should be by her computer.”

"Got it!" Tae's library room is much the same as it was when you left it, her computer is closed. The walls are green, the window dusty. You find it easily, the cord long and white, tangling in your hands.

You're not sure why your hair raises on the back of your neck.

Noodle stops his chomping.

The push of cold air startles you- the change of pressure in the house like a door being opened- the front door. The windows in the library room are leaky. You're used to being in here and feeling it, used to feeling that same draft every time one of your pack mates comes home.

You freeze where you stand.

The metallic jingle of the doorknob is so much softer than usual. You could almost convince yourself that you don't hear it, that you've made it up.

And then you hear it- Noodle's low hiss.

Call it a habit or a trained behavior but you still make your footsteps quiet everywhere you go. A thing learned from your years with Geumjae when you needed to be quiet to be safe and needed to make yourself as unobtrusive as possible to avoid pain. A vestigial survival instinct.

It serves you well now because no one in the house hears as you slide from Tae’s library through the pantry area, you don’t call out Tae’s name again, or Hobi’s. You don’t know exactly why you don’t.

Your house is an old house and you know every inch of it. You know this house that Yoongi’s built for you from the top of the eves to the shutters, from the windows up top to the ground floor and dusty half-finished basement. You know every creaky floorboard and which steps are the ones you skip when someone’s sleeping upstairs because it always sounds so high-pitched and it wakes Jimin up, light sleeper that he is.

You hear the subtle creek of the floorboards now, the small slide of heavy boots across the wide floorboards. A creak. Someone is about to ascend the stairs, up to where you can still hear Hobi and Tae talking softly. The shower off, they're probably just getting dressed.

Softly, you hear the sound of a heavy boot hitting something metallic, one of the pennies you dropped earlier and missed.

Jin might still be in the other room, that's what you tell yourself. You're just being paranoid. stupid paranoia you almost want to laugh. you're just jumpy from the last few days- that's all. Funny of you, to make it up.

The danger is all in your head.

Only it's not,

Because the first thing you see when you peek around the corner is the pitch-dark barrel of an extended gun.

~-~

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Notes:

There are some parts in this chapter, some facts about yoongi's family that haven't been touched on since the very begining chapters or jimin's secret chapters and i repeated them just so that people get a bit of a refresher but some of it feels a little monotonous to write! i hope it's not too hard to get through.

in an ideal world i would have given myself an additional week to edit this chapter, it's not the most edited and because of that i feel like it got repetitive or arduous in places.

i'm also realizing that this is like, 9th longest bts fanfic in existence. look it up on ao3 if you don't believe me. i think giving people a refresher of the begining is fair. In terms of the harry potter series (it really is a shame that no one knows who wrote it) we're just into the 6th book in terms of word count if you need that for context.

on that same vein. moonbyuls brief rant that is implied to be transphobic and sorta is- is not a reflection of my views she's just...you know...the villain?

this chapter also literally went from 8k to 14k during editing what the fuck. i stayed up till 2 am to get this done two nights in a row. i have this little nagging voice in my head that says its stupid to care about something like this but i can't help it- i love this story so much. even if this isn't the best chapter.

when the m/c has her freak out in the room where she almost passes out- that is called adrenal fatigue and it's soemthing that i struggle with as someone with ptsd. you know the feeling when you go on a rollercoaster when all of your adrenaline unloads it's self all at once? if i go through that my body goes a little haywire like- dizziness, exhaustion, dysregulation, memory fog, all of it. i still like rollercoasters though so as long i like rest and drink alot of water it doesn't affect me too much.

it's really important that you notice that no one says moonbyuls name during the moment when they're talking about their secrets between namjoon, jin, hobi, yoongi, and the m/c. i'm not telling you why just PAY ATTENTION.

Every time i think about the proverb "The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth." i think of the m/c and how thats her storyline with the family like- she really was like "either you love me or i'll kill all of you" and i think thats cute <3

In terms of why the last don and Beta killed Yoongi's parents- i think it's because yoongi's mother found out that she was pregnant with another beta and the don and beta didn't want to deal with such a divided power. They already had yoongi under their thumb and another possible successor would have over complicated things. Yoongi would have had a little sister, i don't know if he'll ever know thats why his parents where killed- he was between the ages of 16 and 18 when they died.

although this chapter was the least edited in terms of the most recent chapters- i will also say that there are two moments in this chapter- where i 'fuck up' and write things a certian way but heres the thing- they're not fuck ups and they're actually hints so! lets see if anyone notices!!

i'm gonna be honest with you guys the part where it goes "it stays there" left me fucking winded i can't even think about it too hard or else i get misty eyed.

i am catheterizing a lot of emotions writing this i am sorry it took so long to write, there is a reason why this update took a month and thats cuz yeah- my grandmother is dying. She's got cancer and She's 91 so they're not treating it. death is gonna be a /theme/ for me over the next couple of chapters, don't be surprised if I go off on a tangent or if it takes me a second between updates.

i wish i could write the m/c just a little dumber you know?

i wrote this series with the intent to write about people in realistic relationships- showing the moments they make mistakes, the moments they react too much or not enough, the way that trauma affects us all and how we handle it and love. it feels very full circle to have this chapter come out like- this is what bily is about you know? even though they'res alot of dialouge in it.

oh~ shits about to go down~

Mini-Playlist

Dominic fike- acai bowl (kinda hobi and the m/c's song for this chapter, they're going through it)

Hozier- Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) (this is literally bily's unoffical theme song at this point)

JID, Kenny Mason - Dance now (the beginning when moonbyul setting the industrial park on fire)

Frank sinatra- thats life (the song i picture playing at the end when tae and jimin are talking out their issues).

[rottindecay]

𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄(𝐒)!

Characters: Gojo, Nanami, Itadori, Megumi ♡

🪦 . . 𝐙𖤐𝐌𝐁𝐈𝐄 ’s 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 (1): im so into JJK rn holy fuck.

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎⊹₊ ⋆

🪦 . . I feel like we all can agree that Gojos’ love language would totally be GIFT GIVING.

⭑ When he’s out and about and walking by stores, he would peak through those big windows these shops have at the front of their establishment to try to lure potential buyers in, Gojo would lay his eyes on something that reminds him of you. Something you wanted or needed. Or seeing you looking at a certain item in a store for a little longer than all the other items in the building.

He would smile to himself, Imagining you looking inside the bag and seeing what new thing he has gotten you, to spoil you rotten.

He dosent give a shit about the money, he has enough of that. But he will never, i mean never, get enough of seeing your face once you open his new present to you.

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈⊹₊ ⋆

🪦 . . When it comes to Nanami, i feel like his love language would be ACTS OF SERVICES.

⭑ Just Imagine, youre already stressed out of your mind from all the projects you have to do for work, the cleaning, or something along those lines. Point is, you are stressed.

Nanami would notice this and his heart would sadden, seeing you all worked up. So gradually he would snoop around and find your planner and notice how full it was of stuff you needed to do. An idea would come to his mind, what if he did some of these things? You know, just to make your life a little easier.

You were at work, doing whatever you needed to do over there as Nanami stayed home. You thought he would teach more students at Jujutsu High like what he normally does. But he had other plans. When you walked back in to your shared house, smiling fondly to yourself as you saw all the rooms cleaned up. You were going to thank him later, right now you have to focus on all the other stuff you need to do. After a bit of searching you finally found you planner on your desk like where it always is. Once you opened it you saw all the stuff you needed to do was crossed out with a bright red line.

Once Nanami came home you questioned him about it and he nonchalantly told you that he finished it for you because he saw how stressed you were and thought you needed some help.

𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈⊹₊ ⋆

🪦 . . i definitely see his love language being QUALITY TIME.

⭑ you guys could be doing anything, and he would still cherish the time he’s spending with you. It could be shopping, watching movies, trying cook meals together..

As i said, anything.

Anytime Itadori finds a place that seems like you two would enjoy going together, say the carnival for example. He would go to text you, sounding excited to see if you would go with him. Once you say yes Itadori immediately gets ecstatic that you agreed we to go with him!

Once you two arrive you guys go on various rides, eating some of the food they had over there and even playing those stupid rigged games they have at the carnival and Itadori is enjoying every single second he’s spending with you.

..okay maybe not when he lost to those carnival games because then you would have to console him saying that he did a great job, it’s the games that are rigged

But other than that, he absolutely loves to spend every minute of his day with you!

𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈⊹₊ ⋆

🪦 . . I have a gut feeling his love language would totally be PHYSICAL TOUCH.

⭑ No matter where you guys are, he absolutely loves to hold your hand anywhere you guys go. Same with having his pinky finger interlocked with yours, or his arm snaked around you waist. He just wants to be touching you.

But when you guys are alone, one of the main things he’s obsessed with is cuddling you.

Let’s say you’re laying down comfy as ever on your bed once you see Megumi walk in through the door. He looks tired, you could visibly see the eye bags under his eyes. You greeted him softly, a smile on your lips but he didn’t respond. He just continued to drag his feet, making his way to you before crawling onto the bed and immediately spooning you. You let out a small giggle before wrapping your arms around him, asking him if he was tired which he only groaned to before pulling you as close as he could to his chest with his chin placed on top of your head. And with that, Megumi is out like a light, sleeping soundly with him cuddling you.

[daisynik7]

cw: fluff, established relationship, suggestive at the end

Author’s Note: this drabble was inspired by my snookums @dprkento because we were talking about building forts together the other day and I thought how cute would it be if we did that for husband!Nanami?! anyways, ily, thank you for always making me feel so special and loved. Divider by @/cafekitsune.

It’s been a stressful week for both you and your husband, more so for Nanami though, who has worked overtime nearly every day since Monday. When Friday finally arrives, you come up with an idea to help the two of you unwind. It’s a bit unconventional, maybe even a little childish, but you have a good feeling that it’s just what he needs. 

Around seven in the evening, you hear the familiar jingle of keys from the other side of the front door. You crawl out from under your creation, chest thumping with excitement, unsure how he’ll react to all of this. Waiting by the entrance, the door swings open to reveal Nanami, eyes tired, shoulders hunched, the aura of an overworked man surrounding him. He shrugs his jacket off, hanging it on the coat rack while he removes his shoes. When he sees you, his expression brightens, a small smile forming on his lips, always happy to be home. You greet him with a warm embrace, wrapping your arms around his torso, squeezing him tight. He nuzzles his nose to the top of your head, inhaling your scent, exhaling a heavy sigh. “Hi.”

You giggle into his chest then peer up at him. “You sound exhausted.”

“I am exhausted,” he admits, bowing down to kiss you on the lips.

“Have I got the perfect surprise for you then,” you say, smirking. 

He stares at you with a brow raised, curious. “Oh no, what now?” You’ve got another trick up your sleeve, keeping him on his toes. And while he pretends to be hesitant at first, he always looks forward to whatever you have in store for him. 

Tugging on his hand, you lead him into the living room, where your masterpiece awaits. “Ta-da!” You hold your arms out, presenting the pillow fort you constructed for him. The base is made of the chairs you dragged all the way from the dining table, concealed by mismatched throw blankets laid out on top of each other to act as the roof. The interior is designed with every pillow you could find lying around the house atop the thickest comforter you have to provide enough cushioning. The finishing touch is your favorite stuffed animal sitting in the corner inviting you in, the same one that Nanami won for you years ago after spending far too much time and money on a crane machine to get it. 

His lips are parted in surprise, inspecting each inch of it carefully. When he doesn’t have any response, you nudge with your elbow. “Well, what do you think?”

He kneels down at the entrance, appreciating the interior, eyes wide with wonder. “You built this? For me?”

“For us,” you correct him, beaming. “I thought we could give up on being adults for a night and relive our childhood.”

He chuckles, crawling inside, his muscular body filling up nearly the entire space. “I never built a fort like this when I was kid. This is a first for me.” Loosening his tie, he rolls over on his back, leaning his head into the pillows, finally relaxed. He waves over to you, beckoning you to join him. 

“Hold on. Let me get the snacks.” You shuffle towards the kitchen counter, gathering all the treats you prepared for tonight: chips, candies, even a box of pizza from one of your go-to restaurants. You dump all the food near the entrance of the fort and shimmy beside your husband, laying the pizza flat on your laps. He presses a sweet kiss to your cheek before grabbing a slice to indulge on. 

When you finish dinner, you set up a laptop on a small standing tray near your feet, snuggling closer to Nanami, who has since removed his tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt. From your peripheral, you can tell he’s not paying attention to the movie. Instead, his focus is on you. 

Still facing the screen, you grin. “What?”

He hums, leaning in closer, his mouth hot on your skin, not answering. He places a delicate kiss on your neck, lingering as his hand slides across your thighs, slipping between your legs. “Kento,” you breathe out, turning towards him, capturing his lips with yours. 

“Thank you for this,” he whispers between kisses, sliding his other hand beneath your shirt and up your back, fingers at the clasp of your bra. “I love you.”

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to undress and christen the pillow fort properly. As Nanami cradles you in his arms, watching you sleep against his chest, he admires the fort one last time before slipping into a peaceful slumber with a smile on his face. 

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

How about reader, who is a seasoned gamer, invites Gaz to play something like Valorant or Fortnite etc. She says "dw it took me a while to get good too" but he picks it up stupid quick. He spends the rest of the time enjoying winding her up more than the actual game.

absolutely absolutely. gaz can and should get away with everything.

1,833 words / lucky number 13

...

"Gaz... you know most people play video games to escape their responsibilities."

"So you've told me." Gaz's voice crackles over your headset.

You're staring at your screen, watching as he confirms his character selection in the game's lobby. "You're absolutely sure you want to play tank?" you ask him.

He locks in his character, and it appears in the pregame lobby: a bald-headed, square-jawed guy with a muscular build and heavy armor.

"Positive. You're playing healer, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm playing tank. Pocket me."

"You've never even played this game. We'll both get obliterated."

"Come on. How hard can it be? Shoot, use ability, reset. I take the damage; you heal me; I dish it back out; we win; you thank me for carrying you as always. It's just like our usual game."

"Repeat that last one. I think your mic cut out on account of the bullshit."

"You don't think I can keep the heat off you?"

"I don't need you to keep the heat off me. I just want you to have fun and not die in the first five seconds of the round," you tell him. He did buy this game specifically to play it with you. After a totally reasonable amount of prodding on your part. It's been your go-to for weeks.

"Then pocket me and I won't die. I'm not having fun if I'm not in the thick of it. You know me."

"Fine. For one game."

"Bet," Gaz says, sounding smug about it. "I'm not gonna disappoint."

During that first game, he's getting his bearings. But he takes to it rather intuitively, especially with your help over voice chat. His tactical skills are whip-sharp as always. As you pocket him, you focus your character's abilities on keeping Gaz alive. But you switch to upping his damage output when you realize he's holding down a choke point by himself, taking on enemies and laying out a field of fire for your team. It's impressive, considering this is his first time playing the game.

When an enemy sneaks up on you, his pocket healer, he disposes of them with slightly more prejudice.

"You're pretty good at this," you tell him, scanning the results screen. "I mean, maybe mid-tier if you were on your own."

"Mid-tier?" he says, a little affronted. "It's called being adaptable. Not that you'd know. Hundreds of hours in this game and you're mid-tier support at best."

You cross your arms, leaning back in your computer chair. "Because I don't play support. You know what? I'm switching to DPS. See what you carry without me patching your ass up every ten seconds."

Back in the lobby, you select your main. Gaz eyes the character with a bit of respect. "A rogue, huh? You must think you're pretty good. Gonna need a lot more healing."

"Only if I get hit."

"I could sponge that damage right up for you. Keep you nice and safe."

You scoff. "Won't need it."

"Let's see."

In the next round, you weave in and out of combat, gleefully dodging attacks and landing devastating blows before you disappear. Your bread and butter. Meanwhile, Gaz does--at worst--an admirable job tanking. Still, when you look back and see enemies surrounding him, it's clear he could use an assist.

You double back and flank two of the enemies on him, picking them both off one by one. But before you can gloat, his voice in your headset interrupts you.

"Good kills, baby."

That's not the reaction you wanted. It immediately ticks you off. "I know."

He chuckles and takes down another enemy. He's tunneling in on the fight now that you've got him back on his feet, but clearly he still has time to talk to you. "Can't take a compliment."

The face that he's purposely pushing your buttons just irritates you more.

The next few games, he makes himself indispensable as a tank. It should be a good thing, but he keeps getting in your way specifically. You'd swear it's on purpose. He tanks hits for you and then acts like you'd lose the game without him. His cockiness is insufferable. Worse--you can't ignore how deftly he's scaling the difficulty curve here. He's holding the attention of the enemy players, keeping them away from you while you deal the damage. And you'd never admit it, but the way he's holding aggro is saving your ass.

You shouldn't need him to do that, though. You tell yourself the only reason you're not playing better is because he's forcing you to maneuver around him.

Then he offs the enemy rogue right as you're finishing her off. You swear into the mic. "Gaz, come on! You stole my kill."

"I'm giving my little rogue the help she needs. Besides, you know it's not about getting the most kills. It's about the team's collective score," he teases, and you have to remind yourself it's just a game.

It's like he can tell exactly what to do to piss you off in record time after that. Bossing you around, telling you to take this point or make that kill. He even pipes up once to remind you it'd be a good time to use your ult. You open your mouth to tell him it's not ready yet, but to your chagrin, you glance down and realize it is. Somehow he's keeping track? Unreal.

You're a little impressed about that one, but you'd never tell him. In your defense, he's distracting you with all this banter and teasing. He's making it hard to focus.

"No backseat gaming," you tell him.

"Wouldn't have to backseat game if you played better."

"I would be playing better if you weren't crowding me!" You sigh out your nose. "You're only doing this to get a rise out of me. Micromanaging me. I swear you get off on it."

"You're giving me too many opportunities to obsess over you." He sounds smirky.

The way he says it makes something in your lower stomach flip. You lose focus for half a second--long enough for the enemy rogue to slip past Gaz and smack you.

Gaz slams into her with his shield to stun her, then spins around and uses his special to deal more damage. That last hit downs her. You don't even have a chance to react.

His voice in your headset is smug still. "Like I said."

"Fine. Thanks."

"You can thank me by not dying again."

After the game, you sit back in your chair, arms crossed. "You sure talk a lot of shit."

"Am I?" You hear him grinning. "I hoped you'd give me a little more attitude than that."

"Oh, I know. You're not subtle."

"Neither are you. You get riled up so easy."

"You want me to fight you? Because it sounds like you'd rather me just roll over and bite the damn curb."

"No, you want that. You're a masochist."

"Thank you."

"It isn't a compliment."

"I know. Keep bullying me," you snark into your mic.

It's hard to resist teasing you when you say stuff like that. "Okay," he says, his tone turning playful. He leans back, crosses his legs, and situates himself in his chair. The game's results screen idles on his monitor, forgotten. "You've gotta stop making it so easy for me, though."

"I get that a lot."

"I'm sure you do, sweetheart."

"Ooh, are we doing condescension now?"

"I've been condescending to you since minute one. I can turn it up if it's not obvious enough."

"Keep going and I'll get off."

"Off voice chat, you mean?"

You smirk. "No."

He smiles, rolling his shoulders back. "I can absolutely be more condescending to you if that's what your incompetent little heart desires."

You laugh. "You were just waiting to bring that one out, weren't you?"

"I've got several of them tucked away just in case you got mouthy, But let's be honest--you're always mouthy."

"You're one to talk. You talked hella trash that last match."

"Only because I had to pull your ass out of the line of fire all the time. If you were better, I wouldn't have to. You're giving me ammunition, here."

"I just think it's telling that you play tank."

"Are you saying I'm compensating for something?"

"You said it. Not me."

He rolls his eyes, smirking. "You want to talk about projecting? You're the masochist, and you play a rogue? The one class known for being fragile? You're putting a target on your own back. What does that say about you?"

"Better than a tank main," you quip.

"I'm taking all the hits so you can DPS your way to getting play of the game. Makes me sound proper generous."

You examine your nails. "Makes you sound like a control freak."

"Why don't you look me in the eye and say that? Turn on your cam."

Your grin widens. "Gaz, please. If I turned my webcam on every time some guy online asked me to, I'd never have time to play."

He leans forward, lowering his voice. "Who says I'm kidding? Come on, baby. Give me eye contact. Look me in the eye and tell me I'm a control freak."

"Nope." You know he hates that you're not budging.

"Why? Aren't you decent?"

"More like I have Cheeto dust all over my hands."

"Doubt that."

"It's true."

"Come on. Prove it."

"See? Control freak."

"Fine, I'm a control freak--withyou. But you like it, don't you?"

"Oh, I love when you order me around. I love knowing exactly what you want me to do so I can avoid doing it forever."

He sits back in his chair and stares through his screen. It's not like he's never seen your face before. You've posted a selfie or two in shared chats. But he's never seen you cozied up in your pajamas. Or in a cute little robe. Or maybe a big t-shirt, the soft kind. Like he wears.

Yeah, he's realizing he's down bad. Worse than he thought.

"You wanna make the next round more interesting, then?" he asks.

You arch a brow, propping your sock-covered feet up on your desk. "Like how?"

"You lose, you turn on your camera, obviously."

You snicker. "I don't know what you think I get up to on a Friday night, but you're gonna be sorely disappointed." You pop another Cheeto in your mouth, knowing he'll hear it crunch.

Gaz laces his fingers behind his head. "I've already curbed my expectations. Bet you're sitting around in sweats and a hoodie with some anime character on it." Not that the thought of that isn't appealing. He suspects you don't let many people see you that way.

"You're... uh..." You look down at what you're wearing. "Not far off, actually."

"I know, baby. I've seen your Discord handle."

"So what if I win?"

"Then I won't tell anyone how hard you got stomped these last few rounds. And trust me, I'd be telling everyone. It's embarrassing how much of a load you were. Don't take that the wrong way, though--by all means, just sit there looking cute while I carry this next game."

"Oh, you're on."

Gaz grins, leaning forward. "Yeah, we'll see how cocky you are when I put you back in your place."

You pull your chair back up to your desk, hands poised over your mouse and keyboard. "Promises, promises."

Gaz readies up, too. "Don't worry, baby. I'll keep my word. But once I humble you, you're gonna regret ever doubting me."

...

more Gaz / masterlist tag

[sub4dominant]

Truly Owned

That moment when your mind and body go to a whole other place.

There’s been a gradual build up, your skilful Master adding layer upon layer of pain and degradation to endure.

it started after being strapped into position with the verbal abuse, reminding you what you are, what you are for, a quick way to get you focused. ‘dick-bitch’ ‘cunt’ fag-slut’ ‘piece of shit’ ‘inferior scum’….’YES SIR, it is just a hole for abuse, SIR!’

Then brutally untied before being thrown over Master’s knee, the spanking was a gentle warm-up, bare handed, humiliating, bad boy. Then bent over, grabbing ankles…10 with the belt, followed by 10 with the crop…’Thank You SIR, Please may i have another SIR?!’

He bites, He, squeezes, clamps and abrades before you willingly put your hands behind your back for the application of the pegs…cock, balls, tits, nose, eyelids, septum, ears. The pain slowly building, burning, endured.

The bondage is simple enough but totally debilitating, ankles and wrists bound together, no chance of escape now.

He rapes your mouth with His tongue, panting, greedy. His teeth tear at your tongue, His eyes terrify you, excite you, possess you. you are His. Takes the facial pegs off with His teeth, tears, tugs. the pain as the blood rushes back into the tender body parts is enough to make you scream…time for the gag.

Now you are panting, 2 hours in and your ass is throbbing, the pegs ever growing agony, helpless, sweating, struggling, drooling, no longer human, just a horny animal, panting, begging, every sensation controlled and still He whispers in your ear…’nasty little pig, grovelling worm, slutty puppy’.

He easily pulls you back onto His lap, hole exposed for the world to see, the online world, the cam positioned perfectly, public humiliation added to the list, another emotion to comprehend, deal with. your renewed struggling and muffled begging will please the viewers, pleases Master.

Brown bottle held to your nose, countdown from 10….then again….then again. Head spins, eyes widen as the baseball bat is slowly presented to you. End placed on your forehead and then slowly traced down to the waiting hole, pink and open. your sweat providing some lube.

He teases you stroking the opening, pressure then withdrawl. More poppers then as one hand rips off a trio of pegs the other pushes, forces until the bat penetrates your tight pussy. He bites down on your ear and thats when it happens….sensory overload. you fly, go to another place, ecstatic, overwhelmed, pain, pleasure. you want to hurt more, you want to feel more, you are part of Master, He owns you, you are His, you are connected, He has the power to change you, to possess you, to take you over. He is everywhere, He is here. You feel everything, you feel nothing.

He is pumping the bat, in and out, every stroke taking more out of you, feeding on you. More pegs are ripped off, you grow weak, compliant, a rag doll, mindless, murmuring, thanking, praising, exploding. the gag is removed and you feel His tongue again, softer, the bat is slowly withdrawn. He holds you, you sob into his chest. your cum is running down your leg, forming a huge puddle on the floor between His feet.

Untied, He lets you slip to the floor, you are still lost, tongue out, panting, worshipping. He knows, He knows what He can do to you, what He can do for you. He pushes your head into the puddle, clean up. The task helps you to regain a little bit of focus, lap, lap, lap and swallow. As you come up, His cock is there waiting, you will spend the next hour worshipping it, pleasing it. Your mind is now completely focused on Him, you will make sure this is the best head you have ever given, nothing matters but the cock, nothing matters but Master. He has proved yet again that He truly owns you.

[ahonice]

lucky; pt.2

part one

luke hughes x fem reader

word count: 8.4k

warnings: cursing, drinking, implications of sex/sexual jokes & situations, slight hate towards business majors, probably definitely incorrect knowledge about pre med shit.

note: since so many people asked for a part two (literally only fifteen but still) i finally got over the grudge i have against series/part twos and i'm here to relieve you all. this is the opposite of planned out, i am writing this as i go along so i hope it doesn’t suck too badly (actually scared no one will like this because of how much love part one got). anyways enjoy, leave feedback, have a great day, love y’all babes <3

italics are flashbacks

+++

you and luke didn’t arrive back at the house until past midnight. neither of you expected anyone to be awake when you entered through the front door, but the sound of multiple voices proved that theory to be wrong.

“i think my brother’s friends got here a little earlier than we anticipated.” luke told you as he opened the door, going unnoticed by the small crowd in the living room. “let’s just get to my room and go to sleep, we need some rest.” you nodded at luke’s words as he moved himself behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, you knew he was subconsciously attempting to protect you from the group of guys, more specifically his brothers.

we didn’t make it far though, only a few moments later a voice called out at luke, causing everyone else to focus their attention on us. sighing, luke let go of you and moved forward to greet everybody, muttering an apology as he passed by you. 

you stood there awkwardly, trying to decide if you should wait for luke to finish with his tiny game of catch up or if you should just go up into his room and wait for him there. after what happened today luke asked his mother if the two of you could stay in the same room today, she agreed after a little bit of begging on luke’s behalf. before you could make your own decision the room’s attention was no longer on luke.

“who is the girl luke?” 

your head shot up at the mention of you, instantly becoming a bit self conscious because of the number of eyes on you. you made eye contact with quinn for a split second before tears started to build up again, seeing him just reminded you of everything that you had been through in the past twenty four hours.

“that’s my girlfriend, y/n.” luke said, making his way back to your side and attempting to block you from the eyes that were visibly making you uncomfortable. “-and if you don’t mind we would like to get to bed, it’s been a long day. you can all be properly introduced in the morning.” without letting anybody else get a word in, he turned around and guided you up to his room with his hands around your waist.

+++

you woke relatively early, the sun was just beginning to rise so you took this as your opportunity to go outside and spend some time on your own, you needed it. it took a little bit to get luke’s death grip on you loose enough for you to wiggle out of bed, but after you were successfully free you grabbed one of his hoodies to throw on over your pjs and pulled your hair out of your face with a claw clip. 

you silently made your way out of the house and took a seat out on the dock, taking a quick picture of the view as the sky turned shades of pink and orange. you dipped your feet into the water before grabbing your journal, deciding it was best to write your feelings down on paper just for your better understanding of everything that has happened.

as you finished up your journal entry you noticed the sun was now peaking over the tree line, you took a picture of the view, as well as a picture of your legs with your feet in the water and the pink journal in your lap. you opened up instagram and put all the pictures you took this morning and posted them to your private instagram account, captioning it “yesterday was one of the worst days of my life, can only hope today and each day after will be better.” 

you spent a few more minutes in silence, enjoying the fresh air you were getting. your trance was broken by the sound of footsteps on the dock.

“hey dear, what are you doing up so early?” you turned around to look at the man speaking.

“hi jim.” you smiled as he sat down next to you. “i’m just spending some time outside. i felt like i needed some fresh air.” 

jim nodded before speaking, “i’m sorry about everything. i had no idea any of this was going on, and i am sorry that i didn’t pick up on it earlier.” 

“it’s okay, don’t feel bad for not noticing it earlier. i should’ve spoken up when it first started happening.” you told him, giving him a reassuring smile. 

“would you like to join me and ellen today? we’re just running some errands but it could be fun, help you escape the sausage party that has become the lake house.” jim offered, causing you to laugh at his use of the phrase “sausage party”.

“yeah i would love to.”

+++

you had gotten ready for the day without waking up your boyfriend, so you decided to continue to let him sleep. you went to your room and began packing your bags because you would be leaving in two days and you needed to begin getting ready for your departure back home. once the room was all sorted and looked like nobody was staying in it, you put your luggage back into the closet and made your way downstairs, cleaning had always been a way for you to relieve stress. 

“sorry to keep you guys waiting, i wanted to clean up my room.” you told ellen and jim as you made your way downstairs.

“no need for apologies sweetie, let’s go. our first stop is breakfast.” 

+++

you had gone to breakfast with luke’s parents and told them about your plans for after college.

“right now i’m planning on becoming a medical examiner.” you explained as you waited for your orders. “i just have to see if i made it into the pre-med program before i can begin properly planning my future.” ellen and jim nodded, and continued to ask some questions about how your first year of university was going and other school related topics. 

+++

after breakfast they took you to the local farmers/flea market, you were excited as you had been meaning to ask luke to come along with you. as you were browsing your options you saw a couple booths near each other with fabric for sale, you quickly made your way over and began looking at what was all there. after a few moments you found the colors you were looking for. 

you purchased your rolls of cloth as well as some embroidery floss in an assortment of colors because you had been meaning to stock up on it and some yarn for one of your experiments. after getting everything you made your way back towards ellen and jim, telling them what you got. 

the next stop was the grocery store, with jack’s friends arriving early the house wasn’t stocked up for everybody staying over. during your morning with luke’s parents the topic of what happened the day before didn’t come up until your last stop of the day. 

you were looking around a local garden shop, looking for a new plant to bring home, when ellen came up to you.

“i just want to apologize again for what happened yesterday. i am beyond embarrassed for how my sons have been treating you. you mean a lot to me, jim, and luke, and after the talk i had with them yesterday i’m hoping jack and quinn will come around as well.” you smiled at ellen, a couple tears were brought to surface when she said that you meant a lot to her. 

once you and luke were gone ellen walked up to her oldest sons and they immediately knew what was coming.

“mom, please don’t-”

“no quinn! i am going to.” she sighed, “y/n means so much to luke, and for you guys to be so rude and disrespectful towards her is unacceptable. has she ever done anything to make you guys feel that way? or were these assumptions completely based on snap judgements?” ellen took her son’s silence as an answer. “y/n is good for luke, i’ve never seen him happier. he loves her enough to introduce us and allow us to spend time with her, and this is how you pay him back? you two need to figure out a way to fix this, i suggest you start with opening up the presents that y/n spent hours making for you two that you guys never had the common decency to be appreciative about, i think you’ll like what they are.” after giving them one more look of disappointment she walked back into the house to find jim and explain to him what was going on.

“i think they want to open up the gifts you made, but i never got to properly ask because their friends showed up.” you smiled at her. them opening up the gifts wasn’t going to fix everything, ellen knew this, but it was a start. 

+++

it was only eleven when you returned back to the lake house, with how late everybody stayed up last night you didn’t expect anyone to awake yet, you were wrong. ellen and jim had some more places to go but didn’t want to take up your whole day so they dropped you back off at the house before continuing their list of things to do. when you got up to the front porch you heard the voices of multiple people, one being your boyfriend, and they were all yelling.

“this is all your guys’ fault! my girlfriend left because of you two and how you’ve been treating her.” you heard luke shout. you quickly realized you never informed luke of your last minute plans with his parents, you kind of expected ellen to send a message to him or to any of the boys to explain her and jim’s absence when they woke up. 

“luke calm the fuck down. her car is still out front, she obviously didn’t leave.” jack’s voice was heard as you tried to open the front door, of course it was fucking locked. 

“her luggage is gone, her room is spotless, it looks like nobody has stayed in it for weeks.” luke voice was breaking. you quickly knocked, more pounded, on the door needing someone to let you in. shortly after your began hitting the door it was opened, you didn’t recognize who it was so you knew it had to be one of quinn or jack’s guests.

“found her.”

you pushed past him and made your way to the living room where everyone was at, dropping your bags and wrapping luke into a hug. he noticeably relaxed under your touch, he grabbed onto you like his life depended on it and you heard muffled sobs against your neck where his face was buried into.

“i thought you left me.” he said, you were the only one that heard it he was that quiet. 

“i’m so sorry luke, i–” you were going to explain what happened but you were cut off before you could continue.

“where the hell did you go?” you weren’t expecting that question, especially from who it came from. jack looked at you, anticipating your answer. you stood shocked, the genuine worry in his tone was enough to throw you off balance and leave you unable to speak. your silence seemed to just agitate him. “luke was worried sick. i get that you’re upset with me and with quinn, i do, we have been treating you horribly, but pulling this shit, causing us all to worry for you and your safety, just to get back at us is not okay.” 

you felt bad, until he said that. “jack i didn’t run away as a form of revenge, i didn’t even run away, i went out with your parents. they thought i could use a break from everything going on here, and they were right.” you detached yourself from luke, your heart cracking a little bit when he whimpered at the loss of touch, and went to grab your bags from earlier. once they were in your hands again you walked up the stairs, grabbing Luke's wrist in the process. “i don’t owe either of you assholes any further explanations.”

+++

“i thought you left me because of how my brothers were treating you.” once you and luke made it into his room he broke down again, causing the guilt in you to bubble up.

“i’m so sorry baby, i would never leave you. your dad invited me to spend the morning with him and your mom and i thought it would be good to spend some time away from the house.” you said, rubbing his back as you sat in his lap, chest to chest.

after a few more minutes and a couple more apologies luke stopped crying, his sadness replaced with a slight amount of anger.

“don’t you ever do that again. i am your boyfriend, you are my guest in this house, i don’t want this to come off as insanely possessive, but i have a right to know where you are.” you could only nod at his words.

“i’m sorry luke, it didn’t even cross my mind. i wrongly assumed your mom would tell you, or that you would still be sleeping by the time i got back.”

“hey i’m not that lazy.” his joking nature allowed you to further calm down, you both got what you needed to off our chests.

“i can’t believe i called your brothers assholes.” you groaned, knowing that would probably make them dislike you even more.

“they deserved it.” luke said, giving you a kiss right after. “anyways, it was hot.” 

“oh really?” you giggled, a blush forming on your cheeks as his hands began wandering.

“it’s a good thing i locked the door when we walked in.”

+++

it wasn’t for a couple more hours that you and luke went back downstairs, he thought it was time that you were actually introduced to the guests that joined you at the house.

“y/n this is trevor, cole, and alex, guys this is my girlfriend. y/n.” you smiled at them and said a faint hello, they all smiled back except for one. it was the one who asked luke who i was last night and opened the door for me earlier, the one who was now identified as trevor. he quickly went up to me and hugged me, taking me by surprise, i hesitantly brought my arms around him and gave him a slight pat on the back.

“it’s nice to finally meet you, i’ve heard many different things about you but i can already tell most of them were full of shit.” you smiled, knowing exactly what he was referring to. “well we were all planning on going out on the lake for a bit, eat dinner, watch the sunset, you two in?” you and luke both nodded before heading back upstairs to get ready.

+++

the tension on the boat was very evident, you felt bad for the three boys who probably had no idea what had happened just a day before, you’d probably feel even worse if they did know.

luke was quick to gain your attention, talking to you about the most random things. you kept up with his conversation before you noticed that jack and his friends were huddled up and whispering on the other side of the boat, you wouldn’t have been bothered if it weren’t for them constantly looking up at you before going back to their gossip session. you began to feel a little self conscious, you made an effort to cover yourself as much as you could with the one towel you could find near you. luke noticed the shift in your focus.

“is everything okay? you seem distracted, i’m sorry if you didn’t want to be near them so soon.”

“no luke it’s fine, i just feel like they’re talking about me.” you tried to subtly motion towards jack and his friends. luke just glared at them, seeing what you were seeing.

“here come sit on my lap, i’ll wrap my arms around you and protect you from them.” you giggled at his joking tone.

“anything to touch me huh hughes?” you poked at him once you were in his lap.

+++

dinner was served, an assortment of caprisuns and beers as well as uncrustables were on the menu for tonight. you moved up to grab some for you and luke when you got into a conversation with cole.

“so how long have you and luke been together?” 

“ten months, our one year is in september.” you smiled, already excited for whatever the two of you would have planned for that night. 

soon you were whisked away into a conversation, more like interrogation, about your relationship. trevor and cole sat next to you while jack, alex, and quinn sat in front of you. the oldest hughes put your boyfriend on wheel duty so he was on the other side of the boat, shooting you a worried glance each time you made eye contact with him. 

“how did you meet?”

“we were in the same orientation group, we got paired together for this water balloon game.” you smiled at the memory, remembering how horrible luke was at simply catching the balloon.

“what are you studying?” quinn’s question caught you off guard, seemingly since for the past ten minutes all you’ve been asked about was his brother.

“i’m currently hoping to go pre-med, i will find out if i made it into the program in the next couple days hopefully.” you told him with a smile.

“so you wanna be a nurse or something?” trevor asked.

“no. if i wanted to be a nurse i would be in the nursing program.” you told him, taking a sip of the beer you were holding before continuing. “i’m planning on being a medical examiner, conducting autopsies, figuring out the time and cause of death of a person.” you could tell the topic of dead bodies made your small q/a crowd uncomfortable which caused you to giggle. “any more questions? or can i return to my boyfriend now?” the boys just shook their heads in response, so you got up and sat on luke’s lap.

“so how did that go? you don’t seem too tense anymore.” luke asked once you were both situated.

“it went decent, i think, they just asked about us the whole time.” he nodded at your answer. “-oh, but quinn did ask me a question about myself and just myself, nothing that had to do with you.” luke looked over at his oldest brother with a small smile, who returned it before you, unknowingly, interrupted the moment by asking luke to take some pictures of you.

+++

you spent the night in luke’s room again, the boys needed a room to stay in anyways, so you had convinced ellen and jim that staying with luke for two nights wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

“i don’t want you to leave.” luke said quietly, stealing your attention away from the tv screen.

“i don’t want to leave.” you replied, shifting to face him.

“then don’t. i can guarantee my parents wouldn’t have any problems with you staying for another week or two.” 

“luke i can’t, my sewing machine and all my other clothing stuff is back at my house and i’ve honestly gone a little insane just going five days without it–” luke rolled his eyes at your reasoning, giving you a look of disbelief.

“seriously, a machine is the reason you don’t wanna spend more time with your boyfriend?”

“-also i get my pre-med acceptance letter soon, if i get in, and i want to be with my parent’s when that happens and i know that they’re gonna want to celebrate with a party.”

“i think if you want to get closer to my brothers, or at least have them get to know you, you should stay here an extra week or two. they mean just as much to me as you do and i’m not saying you need to be best friends with them, but it would be nice if you guys got to know each other more and spend more time together.”

silence, and eventually sleep, consumed the two of you. both knowing an argument would only start if you continued to talk about it.

+++

you woke up in an empty bed, frowning you got up and looked around the room to see if he was at least still in his bedroom, he wasn’t. you got up and began getting ready, throwing a pink bikini and some jean shorts before braiding your hair.

once you were downstairs your boyfriend was still nowhere to be found, you made your way outside where you saw his brothers and friends, luke was not with them.

“hey guys, do you know where luke is?” you asked the group, hoping one of them had an answer for you.

“he left like two hours ago, didn’t mention where he was going though.” jack answered, you nodded. “if you would like to join us, we were planning on going wakesurfing today, i don’t want you getting bored in the house by yourself.” you smiled at his offer and accepted, telling the group to give you a few minutes so you could grab some things for the boat, sending luke a text on your way back into the house.

to: luke <3

hey, where are you?

to: luke <3

i’m going on the boat with your brothers and friends so wish me luck lol

you packed your bag and joined the boys outside who were already on the boat waiting for you.

+++

an hour later you still hadn’t received a response from luke and you were getting worried.

to: luke <3

are you okay?

to: luke <3

i find it funny that yesterday when i did this exact thing you said you had a right to know where i was at all times, do i not have that right either? 

“y/n do you wanna try it?” my attention was drawn away from my phone to look at cole.

“sure, i don’t know what i’m doing though.” you replied, moving to take off your shorts and put on the life vest.

“didn’t do it before we got here?” alex asked.

“no, i had other things distracting me.” i glanced over at quinn who gave me an embarrassed smile before speaking.

“i’m sorry for that, i really am, it was uncalled for.” you just nodded in response, not really wanting to talk about it in front of everybody.

+++

you sucked at wakesurfing. you were able to keep your balance for thirty seconds at most before you slipped, or the one time trevor tackled you into the water. which of course was filmed and posted onto trevor’s story, the embarrassing scream you had let out was now viewable to his thousands of followers

once you guys got off the boat you quickly made your way inside to see if luke had shown up yet, he still hadn’t. you quickly opened your phone to call him but got no response, now you were mad. you two had talked about the importance of communication and the risks of not knowing where the other was yesterday, and here he was doing the opposite of everything he asked of you yesterday. 

to: luke <3

idk what the hell you’re doing right now but it has now been six hours since i’ve woken up and you’re still nowhere to be found and no one has heard from you. 

to: luke <3

i’m going to dinner with your brothers, so wish me luck, and if i don’t hear back from you by the time it’s dark i will send in a missing persons report.

to: luke <3

just lmk you’re safe.

you weren’t planning on leaving for dinner for a couple more hours so you spent some time getting the proper measurements for some clothes you would be working on, as well as studying up on how to knit a sweater since you would be trying that for the first time when you went back home. 

you didn’t change for dinner, just throwing one of luke’s michigan shirts on top of your swimsuit and putting your shorts back on. soon you made your way downstairs where it was just quinn waiting, everyone else apparently still getting ready. when you saw it was just him you quickly tried to make a run for it and go back to your room.

“you know you don’t have to avoid me, i think it’s about time we talked anyways.” quinn’s voice stopped you from going up the stairs. you wanted to keep walking away, you really did, but you knew you needed to have the discussion. you made your way back into the living room and sat on the couch seat furthest away from quinn. 

“ok let’s talk.” you started once you sat down. “can you tell me why you did what you did?” 

you got straight to the point, not wanting to spare any time. 

“i was just looking out for my little brother, i didn’t know you.”

“-you still don’t know me. the only information you know about me is my name and that i’m an aspiring pre-med student at michigan.” you interrupted quinn, earning a glare in your direction.

“yes. i still don’t know you, but i’m hoping that in the next two weeks that you’re staying here i can get to know you.” he finished speaking with a sigh, like it almost pained him to say those words. 

“wait what? i’m leaving tomorrow to go home, i’m not staying for an extra two weeks.” you were confused, your parents were expecting you home in the next twenty four hours.

“luke told me this morning that there was a change of plans and that you were going to be staying an extra two weeks.” quinn said, equally as confused. “did you not know this?”

you could only shake your head as an answer while you pulled your phone out to text luke.

to: luke <3

i don’t know if you were trying to surprise me with an extra two weeks at the lake house but i told you i couldn’t do that, my parents wont allow it.

from: luke <3

*image*

i’m with your parents right now, they said it’s okay. i’m at dinner with them though so i’ll talk to you later, but please wait to yell at me until i’m back at the lake house tonight. i’m gonna hit the road soon.

“that little shit.” you muttered, making quinn laugh.

“what did he do?”

“he has been ignoring my texts and calls all day, which is a problem on its own especially because of what happened yesterday, and now he is at dinner with my parents five hours away in my hometown convincing them to let me stay here longer than what was planned.”

“you don’t want to stay here longer? is it because of me and jack? because i meant what i said on the boat, i really am sorry. no matter what the circumstances were, i took it too far. i’m shocked it took you so long to call us assholes.” quinn’s last comment makes you laugh.

“i’m not gonna lie, you two are partially why i want to leave, but also because i know that next week more of your guys’ friends will be here and that ellen and jim are leaving, i just don’t want to intrude.” quinn nodded at your reasons.

“well if you do stay i think it would be a good time for me to properly get to know you, i would say that we could just start over and forget everything that happened…” he trailed off waiting for an answer from you.

“-not a chance. what you, and jack, did was not okay. i forgive, but i don’t forget.” before quinn could say anything in response the rest of the boys came downstairs and we all headed out to the cars to go to dinner.

+++

dinner was another interrogation, but this time it was almost all questions about you.

“so what do you do for fun?” that can be a loaded question, alex asked you it in hopes to be able to spark more conversations about things that might tie to your answers.

“well i like to design and create clothing, or add things to a boring sweatshirt from the thrift. i do lots of upcycling with things i find at goodwill.” you answered, not knowing how they would respond.

“do you have any pictures of things you have made in the past?” cole asked this time, you nodded and got out your phone. showing them some pullovers you had embroidered things onto, the swimsuits you had made from scratch for you and luke, the apron and hand towels that were gifted to ellen, as well as the ties and matching pocket squares that you made for the hughes boys.

“oh that’s the set you made for my dad.” jack said before pausing, noticing the embroidered initials and numbers on the ties next to the one his father owned. “were those our gifts?” he had gotten so quiet you were shocked you were able to hear it.

“yeah they were, still are if you want them, luke told me the colors of your teams and i went from there to make them.” you told jack before looking at quinn who had a matching look as his brothers.

“can’t believe you ever made gifts for them after how they had treated you.” trevor’s joke made you wince, it seems like they don’t know the full story. 

“well i didn’t do it to get on their good side, i did it just because i thought this would be something they would enjoy, something personal to wear before games or at events, and creating things for people is something i really enjoy.” you kept your head down while talking, not wanting anyone to see the emotion in your face. the waitress soon brought everyone’s food out, you thanked anything and everything that lived up above as something was there to distract everybody for the time being.

+++

once back from dinner you went to hangout by the docks and watch the sunset, the boys had dropped you off per your request because you desperately needed some alone time. after the sun had fully set and you were pleased with the photos you had taken, you decided to go for a swim, stripping off your shirt and shorts, shivering as the cold breeze of the night came over you. you didn’t give yourself time to rethink your actions and jumped into the lake, you were freezing but it felt good. the cold being exactly what you needed.

you don’t know how long you were out there before you heard the sliding door open.

“babe are you out here?” luke’s voice brought immense comfort over you, it felt like it had been days since you’d last seen him. slowly swimming towards the steps you made yourself known.

“yes” you shouted, stepping out of the water and onto the dock. luke quickly made his way towards you, stopping once he was at the end of the dock and could see what you were wearing.

“you look really hot in that swimsuit.” you blushed at his compliment, and at the way his eyes were raking over your body. “you shouldn’t be able to look this hot babe.”

“oh really?” you said stepping closer to him, looking at his lower half to see if he had anything in his pockets, he didn’t. “well, we should do something about that then.” you reached out to grab his shoulders and turn him around, leaning in for a kiss, but before your lips could touch you shoved him into the water. “that’s what you get for ignoring me all day.” 

you jumped into the water a few moments later, luke’s shocked face making you laugh harder. 

“what the hell y/n.” luke asked once the shock from the cold died down in him.

“it seemed like you needed some cooling down, also you spent the whole day ignoring me and then went behind my back to get me to stay an extra two weeks.” you replied, swimming up closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“i have a surprise for you when we get back inside to make up for it.” luke’s arms instinctively wrapped around your waist. 

you stayed like that for quite some time, luke filling you in on his day and vice versa.

“so quinn apologized to you and said he wanted to get to know you during the rest of your stay?” you nodded at his question, making luke’s smile grow wider than it already was. “that is so great y/n.”

as you were about to add something to what luke had said the sound of footsteps made you close your mouth.

“yeah mom they’re out here.” jack yelled back in the direction of the house. “you two are in trouble, get inside.” 

+++

“so luke, do you see you and y/n lasting? like once you start in the NHL?” 

you weren’t sure when you fell asleep, but you knew that you had woken up while luke’s brothers were grilling him about our relationship. you didn’t open your eyes, you knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but they should know the risks of talking loudly while someone sleeps a few inches away from them.

“i do see us lasting, for a long time. i know you guys might think this is premature but i can see myself spending the rest of my life with her.” luke’s words made your heart rate pick up, “i want her to come to new jersey, but after she has completed all her schooling. i can’t ask her to give up her education for me, it means too much to her.” 

“but if she goes pre-med she will have a lot more years of school, it’s an extra four years and usually more. could you wait about ten years for her? is she worth it?”

“y/n is absolutely worth it, i don’t care how long it takes for her to finish school she is it for me.” tears had started to well up in your eyes, you couldn’t pretend to be asleep anymore. 

you shot up from your spot on the couch and tackled luke in a hug, you had never doubted luke’s commitment for you, but to hear him say it, especially to people who aren’t the biggest fan of you meant a lot.

“i love you luke.” you whispered, a few tears spilling out. 

“i love you too baby.” 

you both missed the look his brothers gave each other, a look that said “maybe she isn’t so bad”

+++

 you didn’t make it into the pre-med program. your parents had opened the letter with you over facetime, you were crushed. yes you could apply next year, and every year after that until you got accepted, but you didn’t want to do that, you wanted to get into the program after one try and that didn’t happen. 

luke was there for you, he held you while you cried, comforted you when trevor accidentally got you a congratulations balloon thinking you were accepted, and stayed with you during the days even though you knew he wanted to spend time with people that weren’t you.

one day you did force him to go out on the lake, dylan and mackie had arrived that morning and you know he wanted to hang out with them, even though he told you he was happy to spend the day with you. you spent a lot of the day cleaning, with ellen gone the house started to look like only teenage boys were staying there. once you were done with that you made lunch and headed back upstairs to finish your next task. after plenty of talks with your parents, and a few emails with your advisor, you decided to change your major to business. all your life you’d been making clothes, you thought you might just make a career out of it because you enjoy doing it so much. you hadn’t told anyone other than your parents, you were scared to. you didn’t want anyone, more specifically luke, to think you were giving up on becoming a medical examiner just because you got one rejection letter. and you did what you did best when you were anxious about something, you made clothes and cleaned. when luke went back to your hometown last week he grabbed your storage tote full of all the essentials, your sewing machine, the brand new embroidery machine your parents bought you to celebrate completing your first year of university, and way too many fabrics. while you’ve been bunkered up in luke’s room, not wanting to face the world just yet you’ve made lots of items. ties for jim, a sweater for ellen, another bathing suit for luke, and today you were determined to make matching shirts for you and luke. you started with making basic white tee, you could’ve easily bought them but there is no fun in that, and then you decided to do a heat transfer of the design you picked out.

they were gonna be gag gifts, every year one of the frats hosts a “twin” party where you and your date show up in matching outfits and this year you and luke were going together. your shirt would say “i 🩷 my boyfriend” with an image of the two of you on the back, and his would be the exact same but with girlfriend instead of boyfriend. the creation of the shirts didn’t take as long as you thought it would, so now you were looking for more things to do, you weren’t able to make a decision as luke’s door was opened by jack. 

“hey me and quinn are going to get ice cream, would you like to come?” you accepted their offer, knowing that you needed to get out of the house. 

it didn’t hit you that this would be the first time you would be alone with luke’s brothers, ever. sure you had your conversation with quinn the other night, but now that jack was here it made you just as fearful, a bit more even.

+++

“so what did you do today? i know that luke went out with dylan and mackie, we haven’t been seeing you much.” jack said once you all sat down for ice cream.

“well i assume you guys heard that i did not make it into the pre-med program so i’ve just been in a small slump lately–” you were cut off by quinn.

“we actually didn’t know, but that makes sense why trevor felt so guilty about the balloon he got you.” 

“yeah, but today i actually switched my major. i’m gonna study business now, possibly entrepreneurship, i decided to pursue a career more based on starting my own clothing company.” you told the boys, who glanced at each other.

“well that is amazing, congratulations. have you told luke yet?” jack asked, beating quinn to speaking.

“no, you guys are actually the first people i’ve told, trying to avoid others thinking i’m giving up on pre-med.” the boys nodded at your reasoning, quinn decided to fill the silence this time.

“luke told us he brought up your clothing stuff, have you made anything?”

“yeah, i’ve made a couple ties, some shirts, a sweater, and a swimsuit.” you laughed at their shocked faces. “i’ve had a lot of free time since i haven’t been leaving the house.”

+++

it had now been five days since you switched your major and you still hadn’t told luke, even if you wanted to tell him you probably wouldn’t have the time to since he has been with dylan, mackie, and the couple other michigan players that have arrived at the house. this is one of the reasons why you didn’t want to stay any longer than a week, you knew luke was going to become distant when his friends showed up.

waking up to an empty bed became normal, luke and the other boys would do some training in the mornings. so like you did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, you got up and made your way downstairs to make breakfast. quickly distracted by the mess that had been made from what you assumed were smoothies or homemade protein shakes. you silently cursed whoever made the mess while you cleaned it up, then moving on to do some laundry. towels and swimsuits had been piling up in a very overfilled basket and you knew none of the boys were gonna do it. once the load was in you moved on to tidy up the living room, folding blankets, fluffing pillows, vacuuming. 

“stress cleaning?” you whipped your head around to see jack sitting on top of a freshly fluffed pillow and unfolding a blanket.

“no, why would you think that?” you said, while walking over to get him off of the loveseat to make it presentable again.

“because you still haven’t told luke about switching majors and the more you hold off the worse you think he is going to react.” jack stated, “also, you just kicked me out of my seat to do whatever the hell that is.” pointing to you as he sat down on the floor.

you scoffed and stopped karate chopping the throw pillow once it looked nice enough. “you don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

 “just tell him y/n, i’m serious. he is only going to be more hurt the longer you take to tell him, and you don’t wanna hurt my brother, i’ve just started to like you.” he smirked when you glared at him.

“haha very funny jack.” 

“what’s got you so scared to tell him anyways?” jack asked in a much softer tone of voice, patting the spot on the carpet next to him. 

you sat before sighing. “i don’t want him to think i’m giving up on something just because of one small hardship. all the time i hear him bragging to his teammates and friends about how his girlfriend is super smart and is gonna be the best doctor for the dead in the world one day, i’m scared to disappoint him.” you felt a couple tears in your eyes before you continued to speak. “i’ve seen him researching med schools near newark, one’s that have the best program for medical examiners. he believes in me, he knows i could do this even if i don’t, and i don’t want him to think i’m dumbing myself down to a bachelors in the most basic study field ever.” by the end of your small rant the tears had begun falling, they weren’t sobs but they were there.

“y/n, luke loves you so much. you getting a four year degree in business is not going to change that, yes he is your number one supporter when it comes to you becoming a medical examiner, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be your number one supporter when it comes to you being a fashion designer, or whatever it is you want to do i’m a little confused.” you laughed as jack continued. “do you know how much shit me and the guys have given him for some of the things he wears, we don’t even call him luke anymore he is just “simp” to us now, but he doesn’t care about that, he cares about you and your happiness, and if getting made fun of for wearing matching swimsuits with you or wearing a hat with your initials on it means making you happy, he is going to do it. he will be there for you no matter what because he loves you, and i can see why he does. you’re an amazing person y/n, and i’m so sorry for how i have been treating you over the past ten months. i know that sorrys aren’t enough to make up for what we did to you, but i hope it can be a start to us becoming friends because i need more people to bother luke with me.” you smiled and pulled jack into a hug, thanking him for the apology and kind words as well as forgiving him.

“one more thing, did he really refer to you as a future doctor for the dead?” jack asked, laughing a little.

“yes, it was so funny.” 

+++

you and jack decided to watch a movie while you waited for luke to come back from training, quinn soon joined you two on the floor after he had woken up. it was nice, there was no awkward tension, no glares being thrown in your direction, you felt like you were all getting along for the first time and that made you smile.

“um why are you all on the floor?” dylan’s voice cut the peacefulness that had come over the three of you, all three of you quickly looked away from the tv to see the boys all back from training. you made eye contact with luke who was looking at you with a shocked, but very happy, expression. you just smiled and gave him two thumbs up, before turning towards jack and quinn to excuse yourself. you made your way to luke and gave him a kiss and grabbed his hand to take him upstairs, but not before telling jack to switch the laundry loads for you.

+++

once you were in luke’s room he began asking you questions about what he had just walked in on.

“well i was stress cleaning and jack walked in on me doing it and somehow got me to tell him about all my problems, if hockey doesn’t work out for him you should tell him to join the counseling field, but after i went a mini rant about what i’ve been fixated on lately he apologized and we talked everything out and i think we are officially on good terms.” you said in one breath, smiling as luke wrapped you up in a hug.

“what about quinn? is everything okay between you two?” you nodded and explained that you had talked it out with him a couple days ago. 

+++

you and luke started getting ready for the dinner party that the hughes brothers were invited to and you were going as luke’s plus one, you didn’t fully understand what it was for but all you knew was that it was a semi-formal event, making it the perfect opportunity to have luke wear the tie you made him a few days prior, the one that matched your soft pink dress. 

as you were doing your makeup luke spoke up again, going back to your conversation from before.

“wait babe, you said that you were stress cleaning. what are you stressed about?” luke asked, walking into the bathroom and leaning against the counter. you looked at him through the mirror and continued applying mascara as you told him.

“about a week ago, after i got the rejection letter, i switched my major to business and entrepreneurship, to pursue a career in fashion. i didn’t tell you because i was nervous on how you would react, and the longer i kept it from you the more stressed out i got. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner, i know how excited you were to be dating a genius and now i’ve let you down.” you looked at his face to see his reaction, but his face wasn’t telling you anything. 

silence took over the bathroom as luke tried to find the right words to say.

“you could never let me down y/n, yes i am a little upset that it took you so long to tell me, but i understand why you did it. i am proud of you and everything you have accomplished so far. so med school isn’t for you? you are going to kick ass in the fashion industry babe, they won’t know what hit them.” he smiled at you before wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his head on your shoulder. “i love you y/n, never doubt that.” 

“i love you too luke.” 

+++

you and luke sat in the living room waiting for his brothers to come downstairs, you began to get a little antsy as you feared you would be late if you didn’t leave in the next five minutes.

“would you two hurry up! y/n is pacing back and forth cursing you guys for making us late.” luke yelled up to his brothers, who quickly made their way downstairs.

“sorry we weren’t sure how to tie these ties.” quinn said once they were both at the bottom of the steps.

you looked up at them and instantly began smiling. “you’re wearing them.”

jack and quinn looked at you, both with huge grins on their faces, before pulling you into a hug. they were wearing the ties you had made them for the holidays, nearly a year ago. 

“we love our gifts.” and “better late than never” were said but you weren’t sure who said which.

you quickly called for luke to stand with his brother so you could take a photo of the three of them. 

“you better post that on your main y/n, show the world you have the coolest future brother in-laws ever.” jack shouted as he raced luke for shotgun. 

you don’t know how you got so lucky.

+++

note: OMG it’s done. this was a bit hard to write because the whole time i was horrified it would flop or people wouldn’t like it, and i’m still horrified lols (the ending is so rushed i don't like it). anyways i hope you enjoyed, feedback is so greatly appreciated. it lets me know what i’m doing that people like and what i could be changing about my writing. just hoping this one does number like lucky did. have a great day, love y’all babes <3!!

[dungeonfood]

Hi!

I was reestructuring the chapter layout for the LaiosxBeastkin!Reader fic and found myself at multiple crossroads, so I decided to make a poll to see what you guys thought!

First, a link to said fic, in case you haven't read it and would rather do so before spoiling yourself here. There's three posted chapters at the moment, and a fourth old one posted on the collection, if you can't wait until the rewritten one.

Then, I've made a small layout of the chapters so far, outlining the character's feelings so far (which I hope I managed to convey, otherwise this is all useless haha)

Chapter 0 - reader and laios meet

Reader is suspicious and wary, but joins the team with hopes of a better life while the party is there

Laios is interested in them, but mostly as a monster/beastkin

Chapter 1 - preening -

Via exposition, it shows they had some trouble at first, but it's better now

Reader trusts Laios - even enough to ask for help and letting him touch the.

Also explores the fact that they’ve felt lonely and untouched for a long time - with feelings possibly developing from this newfound contact?

Laios is interested in them as a monster, but also sees a bit of the person side, humanizing them in his eyes. Feels mostly pity (projection from his own past, ostracized?), but also enjoys spending time with them.

Chapter 2 -

Reader trust on Laios has evolved - they feel comfortable around him, deeming him a safe space

Laios feels a little crush - For one, this monster person likes his smell!

But more than that, even if he doesn’t really rationalize it, he feels good at the thought of someone feeling safe with him- liking him. He doesn't dwell on it much though.

Chapter 3- it won't expand much on their relationship. but i'm preparing for the next ones!

My planned paths forward are:

Focus on their developing feelings and build their relationship. Plenty of fluff (and some smut!)

Make a more drama-driven story, with less focus on the relationship. More lore and contemplation of the philosophical kind

Of course, both paths will explore both 5heir relationship and the lore, since they are both integral parts of the story.

But i'm debating between a more simple, fluffy, (horny), feel-good story, and a more dramatic, high-stakes, lore-driven story, with more complex relationships perhaps, and some angst, since realistic relationships aren't very easy (so it might tackle some character flaws and such that might make things more complicated)

And then, there' the second crossroad:

Horny reader can be:

A more submissive, helpless type

A more dominant, predator style

I do have my personal preference, and of course I'll still end up writing what I like best, but i would like to know your thoughts!

Sorry for the long post! Here's the poll!