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#you'll wish you would have done differently
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I wish I had never met you at all.
I want my ten years back.
I want my time back.
I want the tens of thousands of dollars back.
I wish I could go back and give it all to someone who would have tried to understand me at all.
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imaginedisish · 2 months
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Lover, You Should've Come Over (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Get ready to cry. This is based on a request I received yesterday where the reader gets jealous of Jean. I tried to take this in a different direction just because I feel like this is a popular trope that has been done by many fantastic writers. It's also inspired by "Lover, You Should've Come Over," by Jeff Buckley. Hope you guys enjoy.
Summary: You've been pining after Logan since you joined the X-Men, and you're convinced he'll never love you back. He’s obsessed with Jean—always has been. Or...maybe he's not.
Warnings: SMUT 18+ MINORS DNI, Oral (f!receiving), fingering, PIV (unprotected...pls WRAP IT UP THIS IS FICTION!), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, f!reader/afab!reader, telepathic!reader, cocky!Logan, softdom!Logan (kinda? yeah.), non-canon compliant (you'll see what I mean...no spoilers), cursing, angst, feelings, implied mutant trauma (kinda a given in X-Men), probably some grammatical errors, I think that's it.
Word Count: 4,197 sorry
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Wanting someone you can’t have—it’s that crying in the shower, pulling your legs into your chest, screaming into your pillow kind of heartache. You’ve come to know the feeling intimately. It’s an awful, horrid, stomach-churning kind of pain.
But you want him. Despite all the pain, you want him. Logan Howlett. You can’t seem to keep him off your mind. For the few months you’ve been one of the X-Men, Logan has been a constant. He’s always there—whether it’s to train or just to talk. But you know he’ll never want you. You see the way he looks at Jean. You wish you didn’t. You wish you were oblivious to that sort of thing. But you don’t need to use your telepathy to reach inside his mind for proof—you just know. 
You keep holding on, savoring every moment, every interaction you have with Logan. You sit on the lawn of the mansion with him, watching the sunset. You’ll come down to the living room late at night to find him sitting in front of the T.V. and join him. Sometimes he’ll drape an arm around your shoulder. He’ll draw circles into your side as you drift off. You’ll wake up the next morning back in your bed, Logan having carried you there long after you’ve fallen asleep. 
You’ve decided you’ll take all he’ll give you, even if it means nothing to him—even if it's platonic. 
But tonight, you wish something would come up through the floor and swallow you whole. A void, a black hole maybe. That would do the trick. Disappearing would make everything so much easier. The second-best thing to disappearing is sitting in the kitchen of the mansion, alone, with a pint of ice cream. You decide to practice your powers, moving the silver spoon with your mind, concentrating as you dig the spoon into the top of the pint and into your mouth. 
You hear a warm, familiar chuckle from the doorway as the spoon lands on your tongue. You look up, and there’s Logan, arms tucked across his chest. “Wish I could do that.”
You can’t help but smile around the spoon as he strides over to you, taking a seat on the stool next to yours. You slide the spoon out of your mouth and rest it on the napkin next to the ice cream. “Hey,” you mutter, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. 
His shoulder brushes against yours. He’s so close it hurts. You try to shove the pain down and enjoy the moment. 
“Was hoping I’d run into you down here. Thought maybe you’d be in bed already,” Logan says, his eyes locked on yours. 
You shake your head, doing your best to keep that fake smile plastered on your face. “Couldn’t sleep.” 
You can see the sudden concern appear on his face. “Everything okay?” He asks, tilting his head to the side. Fuck, you think to yourself. Maybe he’s catching on. 
“Yeah,” you murmur, looking down at the ice cream. “Just still having a hard time adjusting.” It wasn’t a lie. You had always struggled with your powers, longing to hide, to shove them down. Your whole life, you were either a freak or something to be used—whatever was most convenient in the moment. The struggle between visibility and forcing yourself to be “normal” was an impossible battle. You were no stranger to being taken advantage of or being experimented on.
Logan was the first person who understood that—understood you. He made you feel seen in a way that no one ever had. It’s part of the reason you’ve fallen so hard for him. 
His hand is suddenly on your back, yanking you from your thoughts and back to reality. “I’m here,” he whispers. “Whatever you need, anything.” 
Anything. You wish he really meant it. 
“Thanks, Lo.” You smile up at him, letting your eyes linger on his lips for just a second before looking back down at the ice cream. “Want some?” You ask, nodding at the pint. 
“Only if you feed it to me the way you did when I walked in.” You can hear the smirk in his voice as he taps the spoon. You side-eye him incredulously. “I mean it. Wanna see you do it again.” There’s a husk in his voice, a shift in his timber that sends a chill down your spine. You try not to think about it too much as you pick up the spoon with your mind. 
You guide the spoon inside the pint, scraping the top, and lifting it up towards Logan’s mouth. He opens wide as you lead the spoon inside, his tongue hitting the bottom as his lips close around it. The implications of the moment don’t dawn on you until he’s grabbing the spoon with his hands and sucking on the metal. There’s something undeniably suggestive about this. 
Heat rises to your chest as you replay the image of him taking the spoon into his mouth in your mind. It’s so intimate, so domestic. And, certainly, something else—something that makes you tick, that makes that familiar fire grow deep within your belly. 
But—like always—the moment doesn’t last long. You wince, feeling someone itching against your thoughts, prodding at your mental shields, begging to be let in. Suddenly, there’s another voice in your mind. 
I gotta try that myself. You flinch at the sound, taking the spoon from Logan’s hand and shooting it across the room to where you sense the person’s presence. You turn around, and there’s Jean, resisting the spoon’s trajectory with her mind. 
It's almost pressing into her skull, shaking in mid-air, ready to break her skin. You gasp and drop the spoon, embarrassed to have registered her as a threat. “I’m so sorry,” you say, watching as Jean crouches down and picks up the spoon. “I didn’t know that was you in there, I swear.”
You expect Logan to stand from the chair and rush over to Jean, but he stays next to you, glued to your side, the palm of his hand resting gently on your back. “Jean.” His voice is firm, almost cold and harsh. “What was that?” You’re surprised at how curt he’s being with her, surprised he remembered that you’re sensitive to people probing around your mind, even if it’s friendly. 
Jean mutters a curse. “I was just communicating with her. I didn’t think she’d—” 
Logan stands, his hand still steady at your back. “Don’t do that again. Ever.” His voice is louder now, heavier. 
She whispers an apology, setting the spoon on the counter and walking towards the doorway. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you,” she says. “I should’ve remembered given your…” she pauses, searching for the word, “past…that it wouldn’t be a good idea.” She takes another tentative step. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she says, and she slips out. 
Logan settles back into the stool next to you. You’re shocked that he’s still here, that he hasn’t run away yet. You can hear him breathe—in and out—gentle, long breaths. You close your eyes and listen, the sound calming you down. You’re still expecting him to leave, to walk away, but he doesn’t. 
“You okay?” He asks, your eyes fluttering open, his voice hanging in the air. His head is tilted to the side, worry painted across his face. 
“Y-yeah. I’m fine,” you stutter, your voice cracking. “You don’t have to stay with me. You can go check on her if you want.” You nod towards the doorway—to wherever Jean wandered off to. 
“And why would I do that?” Is all he says in return, furrowing his brows. 
You put on that fake smile again. “I almost jammed a spoon into her forehead because she spoke to me telepathically.” You shake your head. “Don’t really think my reaction was particularly friendly—or something that good people do.” You break eye contact with Logan and look to the other side of the kitchen. “Plus, you two are…close.”
“Hey.” His voice is firm again, but gentle this time, reassuring. His hand slips across your back and rests on your waist. You’re so shocked by the contact that you almost miss what he says. “First of all, she knows better. Charles warned her about what you’ve been through. And second…” He trails off, smirking at you. “I’d rather be with you.”
Oh? Oh. He’d rather be with you. 
“I just thought, you know, you and Jean were…” You’re too embarrassed to finish the sentence and too nervous to hear him say the words you’ve been dreading most. 
He shakes his head, that smirk still spread across his lips. “No, it’s not Jean I want. Never has been.” 
Your breathing becomes shaky—your heart beating rapidly in your chest. “If it’s not Jean, then—” 
Logan cuts you off as he suddenly moves. His arm lifts from your waist as he stands, turning your stool around so your back is against the cold countertop. He’s gripping the arms of the stool now, caging you in. Your mind is hazy—you can’t concentrate with him this close. 
“You think I do the shit I do with you with Jean too, hm?” He’s towering over you, his head cocking to the side, his voice self-assured and confident. “Think I’m watching movies and sunsets with her? Carrying her to bed, too?” 
You’re overwhelmed, dizzied by his words, his size, him. “Just thought that—”
“Just thought what?” He cuts you off again. “That I didn’t want you, darlin’?” He brings his lips to the shell of your ear, one hand moving from the counter to your hip. “Wanted you this whole time,” he huffs, goosebumps rising on your arms. “Only you.” He presses a kiss to your ear, and then just underneath your jaw. 
“Logan,” you whisper. “W-want you too,” you choke out, your hands coming up and around his back. “B-but someone’s gonna walk in on us.” 
He’s ignoring you, biting your pulse point lightly and licking the pain away. “Let them,” he husks, refusing to stop. You instinctively bring your hands up to the nape of his neck, your nails digging in slightly. He groans at the contact, his chest heaving against yours. 
“One of the kids is catch us in here, or somebody else,” you mutter, his face still buried in the crook of your neck. “W-we should—”
“Go to my room.” He finishes your thought. 
“Please.” 
And then he’s picking you up from the chair, his hands under your thighs, grabbing your ass. You wrap your legs around his waist as he prowls out of the kitchen. He looks both ways as he crosses the hallway and makes his way to the stairs. There’s no one in sight. He carries you up the steps and down the hall to his room, practically breaking down the door as he swings it open and slams it shut. 
And then he’s laying you down on his bed, crawling over you, pressing his forehead against yours. “Wanted you in here sooner,” he murmurs, his lips just inches from yours. “Hoped you’d come over one night. You should’ve.”
His lips crash down onto yours before you can find the words to say. He’s starving for you, swallowing your moans as his hands slip under your shirt, his nails digging lightly into your sides. “So fucking beautiful,” he rasps against your lips. Everything is desperate and rushed, hands pawing at bare skin in the dim light of his room. 
Logan tugs on the hem of your shirt, rolling it up your body and over your head. He tosses it to the side as he sits up on his knees, taking you in. He curses under his breath, looking you up and down. 
“Logan,” you whine, arching your back. You need his hands on you again, his lips. Something. Anything. 
“I know, pretty girl,” he soothes, his fingers hooking inside the waistband of your shorts. “Gonna take care of you.” He yanks them down your legs, leaving you in just your bra and panties. 
He pulls off his own shirt, tossing it carelessly, letting it get lost on the floor. He settles back down over you, balancing on his forearm as his free hand finds your waist. He slides up to the bottom of your bra, teasingly pulling on the fabric before slipping his hand behind your back—skillfully unclasping the bra with one easy motion. You arch your back again, the bra straps sliding down your arms as Logan tosses the bra to the floor, too. 
“Fuck,” he mumbles, his hand tracing the curves of your breasts, massaging gently. “Perfect.” He captures your lips in another kiss as his thumb ghosts over your nipples, just barely giving you the relief you need before pinching softly. The pressure feels so good, so right, but it’s not enough. 
He draws circles around your nipples with his thumb, the sensation feeding the aching fire between your legs. Your hips involuntarily lift off the mattress, meeting his. “Need me that bad, huh?” He is always so incredibly cocky, even now—especially now. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you, and what to do next. 
Logan grinds his erection into your core. You can feel how big he is, the weight of him heavy against your cunt even in his jeans. You clench around nothing, whining his name as his strained cock teases your panty-clad pussy. “You want me to make you feel good, pretty girl?”
“Y-yes,” you stutter, biting your lips as his hand leaves your tits and sweeps down your stomach, stopping just above your clit. He slides his fingers down just a bit more, feeling where your arousal seeps through your panties. 
“Already soaking for me, sweetheart.” The bassy timber of his voice stokes that flame deep within your belly. Without warning, he’s hooking his fingers into the waistband of your panties and yanking them down your legs. “Can’t wait anymore, pretty girl,” he whispers. “Wanna taste this pussy.” He kisses your belly button, leaving a trail down the rest of your stomach as his mouth travels to where you need him most. 
There’s something depraved about the way he’s crawling down your body, taking in every inch of you. He spreads your legs apart with the palms of his hands—his thumbs brushing against your bare skin, licking teasingly at your inner thighs as he settles in between them. 
He pauses, looking at you under hooded eyes. You can see the want—no, the need—in the way his muscles flex and how he works his jaw. But he’s hesitating, his breath hot against your core, sending another jolt of desire through your body. Your chest rises and falls rapidly, your eyes searching his for his next move. 
He finally presses a kiss to your clit. “You don’t understand how you make me feel,” he mumbles against your heat, licking a long stripe through your folds and back to your clit. “No idea how long I’ve fucking wanted you.” You throw your head back, whimpering his name as he laps again and again. He’s starving, and you’re the only thing that can satiate his hunger. His tongue swirls around your clit, flicking it, taking it in between his lips and sucking hard. 
Your hips lift off the mattress and Logan quickly moves to hold them down. “You’re not going anywhere, darlin’,” he grunts against you, the vibration of his voice going straight to your core. 
His free hand slips up the inside of your thighs, teasingly climbing higher and higher, his nails skimming your flesh. He’s toying with you, leading you on, taking his time. His fingers finally ghost over your folds, exploring you, stroking up and down as his tongue laps at your cunt. 
Logan prods your entrance with two fingers, slipping in just a bit, testing the waters. “Please,” you beg, pushing your hips down in an attempt to sink his fingers deeper into you. He stops you, his hand still firmly holding your hips down, refusing to give you the release you’re dying for. 
“So fucking impatient, aren’t you?” He tuts. And then he’s shoving two fingers all the way inside you, down to his knuckles. “Such a pretty pussy.”
“F-fuck!” You cry out, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he sets a relentless pace. He’s drinking you in, sucking roughly, his long fingers pumping in and out with a vengeance. 
“’This what you wanted, pretty girl?” He asks condescendingly in between laps. You’re too fucked out to form a sentence, your legs trembling underneath him. You know he’s loving this—loving that you’re a wet, needy, whimpering mess. 
Your walls squeeze around his fingers, your swollen clit throbbing as he laps at you. You’re so close already. “Lo,” you call out, fisting the sheets of his bed. Everything in here smells like him: pine and mint and musk and tobacco and that thing that’s uniquely Logan. It’s all so overwhelming and overstimulating. You’re ready to fall apart, to melt into nothingness. “S-so close.”
He squeezes your hip. “I know, sweetheart,” he soothes, his pace unwavering as his fingers fuck into you, scissoring inside you, drawing you closer to your climax with that come-hither motion he does so well. Your walls flutter again. “That’s it,” he coos. “Wanna feel you come—wanna know what it tastes like.” He licks harder, faster. “Let go for me, darlin’.” 
He pushes you over the edge, pleasure warming your belly as you let go. It washes over you in waves, his fingers still pumping in and out, his tongue still hanging on to the taste of you. You ride it out, his thumb brushing your hip, coaxing you through it. His fingers slip out of your cunt, but his head is still buried between your legs. You shudder as he licks long, slow stripes through your folds. 
“So fucking sweet,” he growls, still starving for more. “Not done with you yet.”
Fuck. 
But you need more—need his cock deep inside you, pounding into you. You need him in front of you, his lips on yours. 
“Logan,” you whine, your voice shaky and trembling just like the rest of your body. He finally lifts his head, his hair a disheveled mess, your juices glistening on his lips and his chin. The sight of him makes your breath hitch in your throat. There’s a feral, needy look in his eyes. He’s starving for more of you, and you’re not quite sure he’ll ever get enough. 
But he can see your chest heaving and the desire in your own eyes. He knows what you need—he always does. He sits up on his knees, staring at you while he slowly unbuckles his belt. The tension is palpable, the clinking of his belt against the hardwood floors cutting through it like a hot knife—the only sounds the melding of your quick breaths and the shuffling of bed sheets as Logan finally comes up to meet you. 
He's balancing on his forearm as he unbuttons his jeans, undoing the zipper and shoving the denim and his boxers down his legs. You swallow at the sight of his cock springing against his stomach. You had felt his erection before, but he is far bigger than you ever anticipated. 
With one hand on his cock, he lowers himself in between your thighs. You instinctually spread your legs for him, inviting him in. He nudges against your entrance, taking his time. 
His forehead meets yours, your chests flush against each other’s, panting in sync. You’re both waiting with bated breath, his tip slipping inside, but stopping short before going any farther. 
His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “Thought I’d never have you,” he confesses, pushing his tip a bit further in. “Would’ve given up anything for this. Would’ve waited forever.”
“You don’t have to,” you murmur.  “I’m right here. I’m yours.” 
“Mine?”
“All yours.”
And then he’s pushing deep inside you, down to the hilt, bottoming out. He swallows your moans with a kiss, biting your lip, drawing blood, and licking it away. “All fucking mine.” He stays buried inside you, unmoving. “Wanna stay inside you forever, sweetheart,” he growls, your heart bursting at the thought.
He pulls himself all the way out and all the way back in, stretching you out, working you open. You look down in between your bodies and watch as his cock disappears inside of you. “Feels s-so fucking good,” you stammer, already drunk off him. 
“Like watching me fuck into you?” Logan husks, picking up his pace, his hips snapping into yours. 
“Y-yes,” you whimper. His muscles flex as he ruts into you. He takes the hand that was on his cock and brings it in between your bodies, his fingertips quickly finding your clit and giving it a soft pinch. Your back arches off the mattress at the sensation. 
Logan hums at your reaction. “So sensitive,” he groans. “Taking me so good, sweetheart.” You can feel him losing control as he rams into you, his thrusts growing harder with each pump of his cock. He’s drawing firm, fast circles into your core. 
It’s all too much, him, his cock, his fingers. Your skin is on fire, your nipples pushing against his chest—the friction absolutely delicious. You’re already so close, just a few steps away from the ledge, and you’re ready to fall. 
“Know you’re close, darlin’,” Logan moans in between kisses. “Can feel you squeezing me.” 
You hum in response, but Logan refuses to let up. His pace is beyond brutal, pounding into you over and over again, his fingers working your clit in tandem. Your muscles contract around him, gripping tightly. 
“That’s it,” he murmurs. “So fucking tight, so fucking warm.” His praises are more than you can handle. “You gonna come on my cock, just like this?” 
“Yes, fuck, Logan!” You’re a babbling mess, his name the only thing on your mind, on your lips, hanging in the air like it’s a sacred prayer. Everything is him, and it always has been. In this moment and in every other, he is your end and your beginning. 
 “Let go for me, sweetheart. Know you can do it for me.” His deep voice is all you need to walk you through it. You’re breaking down, coming on his cock, the pleasure coursing through your veins, spreading like an untamable fire. 
He’s stroking your clit long after you’ve come, still snapping his hips into yours, still working up towards his own orgasm. His pace is getting sloppier, but he shows no signs of stopping. You can feel yourself growing overstimulated, his cock rubbing against your walls, his fingers circling your clit. “S’too much,” you whine, your nails digging into his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist. 
Logan presses himself closer to you, as close as he possibly can be. “You’ve got one more in you, sweetheart,” he coaxes, not letting up. “Know you can take it.”
You’re breathless, clinging onto him helplessly. You’re clamping down on him again, taking him deeper than you did before. He’s hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. “Lo,” you whimper. “I’m gonna—”
“I know, darlin’,” he grunts. You can feel him throbbing inside you. “Let it happen, I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.” 
The tension is snapping again, breaking in half as he pulls another orgasm from you. You shudder as you come for a third time, overstimulated and beyond fucked out. You know he’s close behind, his hips slowing down, his forehead pressed against yours. He slips his hand away from your clit and around your back, pulling you closer to his chest. It’s so intimate, so perfect. 
“F-fuck,” he mumbles. “Where do you want me to—”
You hold him closer. “Stay,” you whisper. “Want you inside. Wanna feel you come.”
“Oh fuck,” he mutters, plunging deep inside you, his muscles tensing as he fills you up, your name on his lips. His thrusts slow, pumping in and out every now and then before finally stopping. 
You stay like this for a few minutes, his arm keeping you tight against his chest, his cock still buried inside you and your foreheads still pressed together. 
He brings a hand up to your cheek, his thumb brushing gently across your skin. You sigh, your eyes fluttering open and closed. 
He shakes his head. “I always wanted you,” he says, his voice low and raspy. “The whole time. It was only ever you.” 
His words could make you cry. It’s everything you’ve ever hoped to hear. You smile, his hand finding its way to the crook of your neck, his fingers lightly stroking your sensitive skin. “Can’t believe I didn’t see it,” you breathe, your voice laden with sleepiness. “I never knew. Thought you’d never want me.”
“I’ll always want you.” His cock finally slips out of you, leaving you feeling empty. His legs tangle with yours, his lips pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. “Would’ve waited forever for you, darlin’.”
“Forever?”
“Longer.”
8K notes · View notes
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TW!! 111 harsh wl quotes
nothing tastes as good as skinny feels
eat for the body you want, not the body you have
it may be a difficult process, but quitting won't speed it up
fat lasts longer than flavour
a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips
stop rewarding yourself with food, you're not a dog
30 minute workout, or 30 extra pounds?
whatever your problem may be, the answer is not in the fridge
you can't out exercise a bad diet
an imperfect body reflects and imperfect person
hungry to bed, hungry to rise, makes a girl a smaller size
what you eat in private, you wear in public
suck it up and one day you wont have to suck it in
you get what you work for, not what you wish for
it's better to resist than to regret
if you eat what you've always eaten, you'll weigh what you've always weighed
eat wise to drop a size
junk food you've craved for an hour, or the body you've craved for a lifetime?
every time you feel like giving up, remember why you started
every taste adds to the waist
this month's choices are next month's body
don't stop when it hurts, stop when you're done
summer bodies are made in the winter
if you're tired of starting over, stop giving up
in two weeks you'll feel it. in four weeks you'll see it. in eight weeks you'll hear it
just because you don't read food labels doesn't mean the calories don't exist
if you don't see the calories on the label, you'll see them later on your hips
every time you say "fuck it, i don't care" and eat that cookie, there's a 100% chance you'll care later
your stomach isn't growling, it's applauding
don't stop until you're proud
someone busier than you is running right now
when you lose all excuses, you'll find results
one day or day one
use food as fuel, not therapy
if you can't handle the fat jokes, lose the weight
overeating is always a decision, nobody forces the food into your mouth
suffer the pain of discipline, or suffer the pain of regret
follow your plan, not your mood
do what is right, not what is easy
you can't expect to succeed if you only put in work on the days you feel like it
i'm not starving, i'm perfecting my emptiness
not eating light makes your clothes tight
sacrifice is giving up something good for something better
if it was easy, everybody would be thin
craving is only a feeling
skip dinner, wake up thinner
the difference between want and need is self control
a cat says "meow meow" a dog says "woof woof" a pig says "i'll start tomorrow"
it's easier to workout than to wake up every morning and not like what you see
hunger hurts, but starving works
don't give up what you want the most for what you want in the moment
you've come too far in life to take orders from a cookie
thin is beautiful, even thinner is perfection
a month from now you can either have a month's worth of progress or a month's worth of excuses why you didn't
if you can pinch it, you can lose it
eat to live, don't live to eat
you can never be too rich or too thin
perfection is reached not where there isn't anything to add, but when there isn't anything to take away
respect yourself, put down the fork
when you resist the pain of hungry, it means you're not a slave to your body
every time you say no to food, you say yes to thin
empty is pure, starving is the eure
it's the mind that makes the body
there is no try, there is only DO
pain is temporary, pride is forever
thinner is the winner
if you don't fight for the body you want, don't cry for the body you have
imagine having one life on this earth and you spend it as a fat fuck
would you rather be at the gym covered in sweat, or at the beach covered in clothes?
until you're being accused of having an ed, you have a couple more pounds to lose
"i'm so fat" you say, taking another bite
eating won't kill you, but not eating will make you thin
aren't you tired of making the same excuses over and over again?
i don't even think you need to wear oversized clothes, your amount of body fat is oversizing you enough
you'd look so much prettier 20 pounds lighter
you don't want to embarrass him do you? then lose weight
you already know what it tastes like, so why eat it again?
you're fat. i'd sugarcoat it but then you'd eat that too
you binged? that's ok! somebody has to be the fat friend
if you have a skinny friend just remember, they probably use you as fatspo
skinny privilege is real
your morning skinny is someone else's evening bloat
if you can find the time to eat, you can find the time to workout
food is made to provide you with energy, not to fucking entertain you
if you treat food like an addiction, you're destined to fail
junk food is not a reward, it's a punishment
work out for 1 hour and feel amazing for the next 23 hours
if you're tired of starting over, stop giving up
if you want it, work for it
somebody else's starting weight is your goal weight
stop being jealous of her body and start doing something about yours
the fact that you aren't where you want to be should be motivation enough
it's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit anymore
need motivation? just sit infront of the mirror naked
making excuses burns zero calories
don't let the weekend become your weak end
three months from now you will thank yourself
imagine the weight you are losing is going to the person you hate
do not use your stomach as a trash can
you are what you eat. eat shit. feel shit look shit. or, eat good. feel good. look good
make it happen girl, shock everyone
so you can sit down and still have a flat stomach
losing weight is hard. being fat is hard. choose your hard
no matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you're still way ahead of everyone who isn't trying
a little progress each day adds up to big results
if not now, then when?
you are what you eat, so don't be cheap, fast, easy or fake
look down at your plate and ask, "is this going to make me feel good?"
i am powerful enough to resist temptations
you're not hungry, you're just bored
look in the mirror. that's your competition
this took a long time so please enjoy xx
2K notes · View notes
thelostconsultant · 1 month
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A life well lived
pairing: Max Verstappen x Leclerc!reader
summary: Max has been in love with Charles's twin since they met as kids. When he finally has the chance to tell you how he feels years later, it turns out you feel the same. A wonderful life is ahead of the two of you, and Max couldn't love you and your son more.
note: 9k words + sm posts. I love them so much, I can barely put it into words. I hope you'll like this.
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Whenever he was on the track, Max was competitive, and he didn’t lack the confidence he needed to win races. But he wasn’t the only one, Charles was equally good, and he also had everything a great driver needed to succeed. So the two of them naturally became rivals, the greatest of their generation, and despite their hate towards each other, Max couldn’t help but respect him deep down. 
Throughout the years, he got to learn everything about him on and off the track, so he knew about his siblings. And he was painfully aware of his twin sister being there with him at every race, the sweet, lively girl who always had a bright smile on her face as she talked to her relatives. Every single time he laid his eyes on you, he wished he was the one you were talking to, he wished you would finally say more than just a brief hello or goodbye. 
Whenever he did well in the race, Max liked to think your smiles and cheers were meant for him alone. They were always meant for your brother though, he knew that, but his stupid teenage brain assumed the fact you briefly glanced at him while smiling meant you would get married one day. That you were madly in love with him too, that you were yearning for his company just as much as he was. 
If it was up to him, he would have talked to you. He wanted to learn more about you, he wanted to be near you, he wanted to experience the innocent love only a teenager could feel, but how could he do that under his father's strict control? He couldn't even play football on the weekends, how could he have a girlfriend? And then there was Charles who was already giving him death glares whenever they met, if he found out Max had a thing for his sister, who knows what he would have done. It was better not to risk a possible fist fight it would end with.
So he was destined to watch you from afar, letting his imagination run wild to cope with the pain he felt for not being able to talk to you. In his mind you were sitting next to him on top of a large crate, asking various questions to pass the time, giggling and feet dangling as you listened to him. His brain fed him with the image of you running up to him to hug him after the race, your bright smile being a much better prize than the trophy he had left on the ground.
And then he and Charles ended up in different series, meaning you weren’t there at his races anymore. His race weekends became much colder and emptier, he decided to focus solely on racing, pushing every single thought related to you to the back of his mind. He kept an eye on his rival, of course, he needed to know how he performed, if he was still good enough to one day catch up to him. He also wanted to know if you were still following him around like a shadow, if you still stood next to him on countless photos that he would later share on social media. He just wanted to see you, to know you were okay. 
His mother was the only one who figured out he had a little crush on you. She noticed him staring at photos of you, and she was kind enough to start a conversation about you, giving him the chance to finally give someone a speech about how special you were to him, how nice you were to everyone, how pretty you were, and how much he wished he could talk to you. He didn’t even know why he told her everything without feeling embarrassed, but maybe he was just grateful to have the opportunity to get it off his chest after all those years. His mother told him to find you on social media and send you a message, after all that’s what those were made for. 
But he didn’t do it. His confidence was usually nowhere to be found when it came to you, and even now all he could think about was making a fool of himself. What if you said no? What if you told your brother and he would reappear in his life to give him hell for making a move on you? He didn’t want to risk that, so he just returned to watching you from afar. Sad and lonely, with the kind of pain in his heart that couldn’t be healed so easily. 
When he made it into F1, Max had a new challenge to face, and his head was always in the races, this cutthroat world forcing him to focus more than ever before. He knew it was only a matter of time before your brother debuted in the series as well, he just had to be patient and wait for it to happen, and once it did, you would be back in his life. So he waited and pushed himself, eventually winning his first race, and he couldn’t help but wonder if you saw him, if you were proud of him. 
But then one day he noticed that you suddenly disappeared from social media, all of your accounts were deleted, and he began to panic. Seeing your posts–even though he didn’t follow you–was always the highlight of his day, so what was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to know what was happening in your life? And to make things worse, you were studying abroad, he didn’t have the chance to accidentally bump into you on the streets of Monaco. 
And then it happened. Charles finally caught up with him and joined F1. Max couldn’t have been happier. For one, he finally got his rival back, even a rush of adrenaline flowed through his veins at the thought of continuing their competition, and two, you would surely be back in the paddock. Maybe not at every race, but you would without doubt show up every now and then. So he began to count back the days to the first race of that season, having a feeling that you would not miss it, and then he spent the remaining time checking your family’s social media accounts to see if they shared any new photos of you.
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liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc and 245,175 others
charles_leclerc: I want to say thank you to my team and my family for the support. It was a great first race with a decent result. I missed my baby sister though, she used to be my lucky charm.
tagged: yourusername
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arthur_leclerc: Not bad.
pascale.leclerc.355: I'm so proud of you!
yourusername: What baby? I'm literally half an hour younger. That's not the baby category, you muppet.
⤷ charles_leclerc: You're a baby to me.
⤷ arthur_leclerc: You kinda are.
⤷ yourusername: Shut up, fetus.
⤷ charles_leclerc: And muppet? You spend too much time in London. Come back home.
⤷ yourusername: No.
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You were back on Instagram apparently, and he had never tapped on a link faster before. His heart was racing from the excitement, expecting to see a bunch of photos of you, ones he hadn’t seen before, but to his disappointment, it was private. He couldn’t send you a request, he didn’t want you to know he was interested in your posts, and it was killing Max, because he was suffering from withdrawal symptoms by now. With your brother being back, he felt like that stupid kid again, which despite your absence came with the crushing feeling of a one-sided love he’d been suffering from for all those years.
Time passed, and he was just waiting and waiting, hoping one day you would show up, but you didn’t. There were posts on your family’s accounts, and you were glowing on every single photo, apparently having a happy life in London. He wondered if you were in a relationship. Did you have a special someone waiting for you? The thought of you being taken was devastating, because in his mind you were his, he truly believed that you were destined to be together.
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[Nice to meet you, where you been?]
2023. He had to wait until the 2023 Azerbaijan Grand Prix to finally have you at a race. 
It all started with a burner account he created years ago to keep an eye on the posts from your family and other people connected to them. Just to see if they had any new content about you without the risk of accidentally liking a photo with his real account. It’s not stalking. It’s not bad. Well, not that bad. So that day he checked the posts in the morning while he got ready to leave, and he saw a post from Alexandra that the two of you were having breakfast together before heading out to the track to see your brother. 
His stomach did a flip, his heart rate jumped, and he suddenly felt like throwing up from the anxiety. He had always imagined this day would be easy. He catches you in the paddock, just “accidentally” bumping into you, greets you with a big, friendly smile with a short comment about how long it’s been, and he tells you how proud you must be of your brother. And then maybe they would have to talk about Charles for a while, but once you eased into the conversation, he could start to shift the conversation to you. How are you? Why haven’t you been to his races? Are you seeing anyone? If not, would you like to have dinner with him? 
But now that it was time to actually do this, he felt sick from the thought. He couldn’t do it, he didn’t feel confident enough to talk to you. It felt like he had traveled back in time, turning into a nervous, awkward kid again. How stupid did he have to be to assume you would be interested? Sure, he and Charles didn’t hate each other on a cellular level these days, they could tolerate each other, but they were still each other’s biggest rivals, so why would you be with him? 
Since it was sprint day, Max decided to focus on his job, but when he caught a glimpse of you as you celebrated your brother’s sprint qualifying win, he knew it was a futile attempt. You didn’t even look at him, even though he watched you for a few seconds with a stupid smile on his face and went over to congratulate Charles, which resulted in a kicked puppy feeling. The sprint race wasn’t any better, his head wasn’t really in it, but at least he could see you again. But then, just as he once again watched you with a smile, your eyes locked with his and you smiled back. Unlike back in the day, now he was sure this smile was meant for him. 
He got drunk on this lovely feeling, and as pathetic as it probably was, he found himself lingering around the Ferrari motorhome after the interviews and the debrief. There would be photos and rumors, he was aware of that, but he had to see you. He had to give himself the chance to say hello, to see if you were also interested, if you were willing to talk to him. Deep down he hoped you would be looking at him starry-eyed, giggling like you used to, your bubbly personality coming to the surface as you talked. 
Then he saw you step out on your own, looking around hesitantly as you probably tried to figure out where to go. You looked lost, but Max was more than happy to offer his services as a tour guide, so he walked over to you and stopped with a small smile on his face. “Need help?” he asked.
You turned to look at him with a surprised look, but then your features softened and you flashed the bright smile he missed so much at him. “I’m looking for the exit.”
“I can show you the way,” he offered, and he was surprised to see you quickly nod in response. As you began to walk in the right direction, Max’s brain worked in overdrive to figure out what to talk about, but in the end all he managed to come up with was a trivial question about why you were leaving on your own. 
“I came with Alex, but now she’s going back to the hotel with Charles. I figured I could take a look around the city before dinner, so I won’t wait for them,” you replied as you pushed your sunglasses up to the top of your head.
This was his best chance to ask you out, he knew that, which is why he let out a low hum with his hands behind his back as if he seriously had to think about it. “I can show you around if you’d like. And I know a really good restaurant, one that’s not the crowded fancy kind,” he said as he glanced over at you. 
He didn’t miss the way you blushed at the thought and he had to do his damn best to prevent a proud, cocky smile from appearing on his face. You clearly liked him, you were interested, what more could he wish for? After all those years here he was with you on his side, having a real conversation without your brother’s murderous looks, and on top of it all, he had the courage to ask you out on a date. Because he could tell you knew it would be a date, otherwise you wouldn’t be this shy all of a sudden.
Max came to a halt and gently put a hand on your arm to stop you. “I promise I won’t bite. Come on, just say yes,” he tried. 
“All right, let's do this.”
A wide smile appeared on his face upon hearing this. “Great. Let's get my stuff then we can leave.”
His fingers slowly slid down from your elbow to your hand so he could take it, pulling you after him as he took a sharp turn and headed to the Red Bull motorhome with you by his side. When you were finally on your way out for real, it was you who reached out for his hand, the contact making him involuntary blush. It made you both nervous, unsure of what this meant, but it still felt so natural, like you've been tied to the other by some invisible string.
The two of you spent the following hours walking around the city, with him telling you interesting details he had picked up throughout the years, and you listened to him talk with shining eyes, accompanied by a big smile that sometimes temporarily made him forget how to speak. It was new, it was exciting, and he could have sworn it was just the two of you in the city that night. His eyes always found their way to your face, taking in every little detail as if he hadn’t studied it before as a kid or on the pictures he saw on social media. 
When it was quite late, he took you back to the hotel you were staying in, but neither of you felt like saying goodbye just yet. For a minute or two you were just standing there in silence, waiting for the other to say something, to say what you both had on your mind out loud. He was the first to break under the sweet pressure, all because you nervously bit on your lower lip, a move that drew an almost animalistic growl out of him before he pressed his lips to yours in a kiss. 
You didn’t hesitate to return it, getting so lost in it that your hands moved up to his neck, gently pulling him closer as if it was even possible. He only broke the kiss to let his lips pepper small kisses across your face, using this opportunity to tell you something that had been on his mind ever since you agreed to come with him. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” he whispered to you, his nose pressing against the shell of your ear. 
“A whole twelve hours?” you asked with a delicate little giggle. 
He leaned back to look you in the eye, his big palm resting on your flushed cheek as he flashed a playful smile at you. “More like twelve years,” he corrected you. Your eyes grew wide from surprise, pupils still blown, and he couldn’t help but press a kiss on the tip of your nose. “What can I say, I had a crush on my biggest rival’s sister. And I still have to this day.”
Gulping, you watched him in silence for a while, a reaction that made him worry. Did he say something wrong? He was terrified of the thought of you letting go of him and disappearing behind the entrance of the hotel, leaving him behind for good. But before he could get lost in this spiral, you kissed his chin and went, “Well, I might have had a crush on a stupid blond boy with his stupid blue eyes too. But he never talked to me and I was warned to keep a safe distance from him,” you added. 
This made him kiss you again, and this time he didn’t hold back. He couldn’t care less about standing out on the street where everyone could see him, he couldn’t worry about photos emerging of the two of you. He wanted to claim you as his, making you understand that fate brought you together again, and if he had to do this in front of your damn hotel, then he was more than happy to do it right there with an audience. 
Your safe little bubble was burst by the constant buzzing of your phone, soon followed by the ringtone, and while he wished you would just ignore it, you swore under your breath and quickly answered it. You were speaking with someone in French, upset that they were bothering you right now, but soon your expression and voice changed, mirroring the panic you probably felt, because the moment you ended the call, you began to type furiously. When he gave you an expectant look with a questioning hum, you let out a sigh and showed him the screen. 
He took the device from your hand and scrolled over some posts that could be found under his name in the tags, showing the two of you kissing just a few minutes ago. Considering your brother was tagged in a few of them, it was quite obvious that he was the one who called you, and knowing him, he was probably fuming from anger. “I’m sorry,” he said as he gave you back your phone. 
To his surprise, you just shook your head with a smile, then stood on your toes to give him a quick kiss. “Don’t be. He’ll calm down and people will move on. Also, I’m too happy to care about the fans. Screw them,” you said with a laugh. 
Yeah, screw them. As long as you could think about this so casually, he was happy. Because the last thing he wanted was you being crushed by the pressure, deciding that this relationship wasn’t worth the effort it needed to work. He was willing to do whatever it took to make it work, he was ready to make sacrifices if needed, anything to keep you by his side. He was that lovesick teenage boy again, his brain clouded by a pink fog that affected his way of thinking. Was it wise to put rationality and logic aside? Not really, but he couldn’t care at the moment. 
Not when after all those years he could finally tell you how he felt, and he could hear you say you felt the same. 
“Does this mean you’ll give me your number?” he asked with a grin, already reaching for his phone. Shaking your head, you held out your hand, then typed it in, saving it under your name that you finished with a heart emoji. “Will you come to Miami with me? Then we could travel back to Monaco together and spend some time there until the race.”
You hesitated for the first time that night, looking away nervously as you fidgeted with your bracelet. “I wish I could, but I have to work. Maybe I can go to Monaco, but I’m not sure. I’m sorry, Max,” you told him when you finally turned back to him and saw the devastated look he probably had in his eyes. 
He was so lost in his fantasy world that he failed to consider that you might have had a life back home he knew nothing about. He didn’t know what you did for work, he only knew you lived in London. At least he assumed you still did. What else did he not know? What if you had someone waiting for you back home? Panic took over at the thought of this kiss being nothing more to you than a fleeting memory in a few hours, because he didn’t want to lose you so soon, he didn’t want to be a plaything you get bored of so fast. 
Somehow you picked up on his feelings, because you gently cupped his face to make him focus on you. “I have to be in L.A. next week, I don’t know when I’ll have a little break again,” you told him, eventually flashing a sweet smile at him. “But I’ll try to make it to Monaco on time, okay? I’ll even give ourselves a few days to relax together.”
“Promise?”
You nodded before burying your face into the crook of his neck. “I promise. I should get going, but I don’t want to leave you just yet,” you mumbled against his skin. 
Max buried his fingers into your hair then grabbed a handful of it to gently pull your head back. “Get some sleep. And if you feel lonely tomorrow at the track, feel free to visit me. You’re always welcome,” he said before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Now, go before I change my mind and take you back to my hotel.”
You laughed at this, but nodded nonetheless. “Good luck for the race. I don’t want you to beat my brother, but still. Goodnight, Max.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he said as he let you go. 
He stood there for a while, watching you disappear behind the entrance of the building, but once he took a deep breath to calm his heart that was still beating fast from the excitement he felt because of you, he headed back to his hotel. In the taxi he pulled out his phone and sent you a message. Then you replied, and the written conversation didn’t stop until you announced you were dead tired around one in the morning. 
You were his, he could feel it. After all those years, after all those dreams and sleepless nights, he could finally consider you to be more than just a precious memory. You were real. He could still taste you in his mouth. It felt like a dream, one he never wanted to wake up from.
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In the morning, as he was heading to the track, Max received a message from his mother. All it said was, “I see you got the girl in the end.” He couldn’t hold back the big smile that wanted to creep on his face at the memory of that conversation they had all those years ago about you. After all that time, here he was, lost in the lavender haze because of you. 
During the drivers parade he didn’t miss the same old murderous looks he had received as a kid, but at least this time he knew he was safe in front of all the cameras. A part of him wanted to discuss this with Charles, but something told him it would be better if he let you do the talking. Even as kids, you had your brother wrapped around your finger, he highly doubted that had changed over the years. 
After the race he saw you congratulate your brother, but he didn’t miss the bright smile that you flashed at him. He considered walking over to you, stepping into Ferrari territory, but in the end decided not to risk it. If you came to a race as his guest, he would have the opportunity to get a tight hug from you before giving you a kiss in front of the whole world. 
They were heading to the cooldown room when Charles suddenly appeared next to him and said, “If you hurt her, I’ll launch us both into the nearest barrier the next time we meet on the track.” 
Max gulped and nodded. It was a fair warning. He was already afraid of fighting him on the track, but knowing he now had a good reason to attack him was truly terrifying. 
In the following week, the two of you talked a lot. Once you even told him that you hadn’t written a word in over an hour because of your conversation, but he still didn’t let you get back to work. He was selfish, he needed to hear your voice to function, to feel alive and know that the weekend before wasn’t some fever dream. He considered suggesting a visit to L.A. after the race to spend some time with you before you traveled back to Monaco together, but he had a feeling that he would be pushing his luck with that. 
The race weekend in Miami didn't start as planned. He was really mad and disappointed in himself after the qualifying, but talking to you made him feel a lot better. Even though you weren't there with him, knowing you cared so much helped him calm down and focus on the race ahead. 
On Sunday morning, a bit over an hour before the drivers parade, Checo asked him to follow him, acting all secretive when he said he wanted to show him something. Max wasn't in the mood for surprises, but then he noticed you standing there in their motorhome and a wide smile appeared on his face. He rushed over to you to pull you into a tight hug before kissing you fiercely, recharging his batteries by doing so.
“What are you doing here?” he asked when he stepped away, although he held your hands and wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon. 
You shrugged with that sweet smile on your lips. “Yesterday wasn't the best for you and I could tell you were frustrated. My brother got me a pass, and he decided to ask Checo to sneak me into your motorhome to surprise you,” you explained. 
This was a surprise, sure, but not because you were here. “Charles organized this?” You nodded. “Why?”
“I don't know, ask him.”
“The last time we talked he told me he would push us both into a barricade if I hurt you,” Max admitted, earning a shocked look from you. “Hey, it's okay, I'm not planning on hurting you. Soooo, want me to give you a tour?”
When you nodded, he quickly thanked his teammate for helping your brother with this plan, then put a hand on the small of your back and showed you every interesting corner of the place, telling you different stories from the years he spent here, and conveniently ended the tour in his driver's room so you could have some privacy before he had to leave for the drivers parade. 
Even though you were sitting on his bed with a mischievous smile on your lips, he kept talking about how he got ready for the races, answering a question he didn't realize was a hint until now. Because you were eyeing him as if you were planning to pounce at him or grab the front of his shirt and pull him on top of you.
With a sigh and a knowing smile he stood in front of you, grabbing your chin to make you look up at him. “Later, okay? This isn't the right time or place,” he told you.
“Why, what's the right time and place?”
He leaned down and kissed the top of your head. “Somewhere I can take my time with you. This is not it, trust me.” Nodding, you stood up and gave him a quick kiss. “Will you watch the race from our garage, or will you go back to Ferrari?”
As you wrapped your arms around his neck, you buried your face into his chest. “Where do you want me?”
“Do you really have to ask?”
“Red Bull it is,” you mumbled against him.
Soon he had to leave you behind to meet the other drivers for the parade, and his heart was beating in his throat from the nervousness caused by the upcoming chat with your brother. Because he had to talk to him, he had to find out if he was suddenly supporting you two, and why he helped him by bringing you here. 
Charles was deep in a conversation with Pierre, but he wasn't afraid to interrupt them. “Can we talk?” he asked the Monegasque.
He nodded and followed him to a quieter corner. “I guess you met her,” he said with the hint of a smile. 
“Why did you do this?”
“Because she was sad. And I don't like to see my sister like that. If being with you can make her happy, so be it,” Charles explained. “I remember how things used to be in our karting days. I remember how much she talked about you, and I remember the way you always watched her. Guess you found each other again. It doesn't mean we'll be best friends now, but maybe we should bury the hatchet.”
Max didn't even know what to say at first, which was new. Your brother's speech surprised him, he definitely wasn't expecting him to be okay with your relationship so soon after it had begun. Nodding, he offered his hand, and Charles shook it without hesitation. 
He wanted to say something, he wanted to tell him how grateful he was for not making a scene or their lives a living hell, but the organizers told them it was time to go. So he waved goodbye and left to find his friends.
Sadly, he didn't have time to talk to you again, he only caught a glimpse of you before getting in the car, and he wanted to focus on the race ahead anyway. He knew you knew that, which is why he didn't feel like shit for not doing anything he could to squeeze in a few minutes to spend with you. 
After he crossed the finish line, Max had a good feeling and he couldn't stop smiling in his helmet. He wasn't happy because he managed to win, no, he was happy because he knew you would be there with the team to greet him in the parc fermé. After all those years he could finally see you celebrate his good result instead of your brother's. 
After he got out of the car, he quickly took off his helmet and balaclava, then ran over to his team to greet a few people before stopping in front of you, watching you with a wide grin as he waited for you to give him the green light. When you finally nodded, he pulled you into a fierce kiss, the adrenaline in his system working wonders. 
“I hope we'll find the right place and time tonight, because post-race you is criminally hot,” you whispered into his ear with a cute laugh.
If it was up to him, he would have skipped the celebration and debrief parts of the day, but the best he could offer now was making everyone hurry so you could get back to his hotel as soon as possible. “We will, trust me,” he assured you eventually before being dragged away for interviews.
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[It's you and me, that's my whole world]
Max knew that the Monaco grand prix would be the perfect time to ask you. But he wanted to do this right, and since he had learned in the past year how important your family was to you, he requested a meeting with your mother and Charles to discuss his intentions.
Maybe it was old fashioned, but your brother was a bit overprotective, he wanted to make sure he was comfortable with the idea of having him as a brother-in-law. Your mother wouldn't be a problem, he knew that, because she had often commented on how well he took care of you, and how happy she was that you found someone who was this enamored with you.
So now here he was in your mother's apartment, sitting across from her and Charles as if he was facing the Spanish Inquisition. He took a deep breath to steady his breathing and give himself a moment to figure out where to begin. In the end he decided to be direct, so he pulled out the little jewelry box from his pocket, and placed it on the table between them after he opened it to reveal the ring inside.
Pascale had her hands over her mouth as she gasped in surprise, but soon it was revealed that she was smiling happily when she reached for the box. “When are you planning to ask her?” she wondered as she took a closer look at the ring.
“After the race. Well, since I don't know what Sunday brings, I was aiming for Monday. I'm planning to take her out for lunch, then we would drive to a spot where I can ask her in peace. I already have an event planner getting a party ready for the evening,” Max explained with a shy smile.
And there was that trademark look again from Charles. He watched him with narrowed eyes as he leaned over to take a look at the jewelry in his mother's hand. “And if she says no?” Pascale poked his side with a disapproving look. “What? It's a possibility. They've only been dating for a year. It's too early.”
Your mother let out a sigh as she rolled her eyes. “Don't listen to him, Max, I'm sure she will say yes. She loves you very much. Oh, I'm so happy for you, come here,” she said as she stood up with her arms open.
With a relieved sigh, he stood up and walked around the table to hug her. “Does this mean you have no problem with my plan?” he asked hesitantly.
“Of course not!”
“I do,” Charles spoke up, earning a pointed look from his mother.
Pascale put his hands on her hips as she watched her son. “You would have a problem with any guy who tried to ask her to marry him, no matter how long they've been together. I know you want to protect her, but you can't do it forever. You have your own relationship to focus on, and I don't remember her ever having a problem with your decisions.”
Finally, your brother let out a long sigh, then nodded. “All right, you have my blessing. But remember what I told you last year,” he warned him.
“Yeah, I know, the barrier.”
Your mother's eyes moved back and forth between the two of them. “What barrier?”
When he saw the pointed look Charles gave him to shut him up, Max decided to lie. “It's more of a metaphor, nothing worth mentioning,” he said, forcing a smile on his face.
“I see,” she said, although it was clear she didn't believe a word he said. “I'm so happy for you. When will you ask Alex?” she suddenly turned to her son.
Charles almost choked on the water he was drinking. “Really? Just because she's getting engaged, I don't have to copy her right away,” he complained.
A few days later Max had his doubts about the timing. Charles won the race, becoming the national hero, so would it be fair to avert the attention away from him the next day? So he did the only thing he could think of and asked your brother if he would be okay with him going on with this as planned. He said yes, probably knowing two events with this magnitude would make you extremely happy.
Lunch was nice, you joked a lot about Oscar becoming an honorary Leclerc, but you were mostly talking about all the love your brother's been receiving since the race win. He understood that, and he truly believed this was a well-deserved win, one that's been a long time coming. He wished he had a car that could fight theirs, but right now they only had their special moments every now and then.
When you reached your destination and the two of you sat on a picnic blanket with a bottle of wine opened, Max began to feel nervous. He'd been dreaming about this for so long, even as a stupid kid he imagined spending your lives together, but now that he was supposed to pop the question he felt surprisingly uncertain. 
You took a sip of your drink before snuggling up to him, even letting out a quiet giggle when you felt him wrap an arm around your body. He placed a soft kiss on the crown of your head while his free hand reached for the box in his pocket. He hesitated, wondering if this was the right time to do it, if he should give your relationship more time, but as he inhaled your sweet scent, he suddenly realized it would be foolish to waste your precious time.
So he moved his hand to yours and placed the little black box into your palm. You glanced at him with a surprised look on your face, and when he nodded to make you open it, you did exactly that. A small gasp left your lips when you realized what it was, what it meant, so he took this chance to tell you what was on his mind.
“I don't want to wait. I know we will have to sort a few things out, but I'm sure we can find a solution to everything. I travel around a lot, I know that, but if you could work remotely every now and then, we would just have to put effort into making our schedules work,” he said, his voice fading when you put up a finger to stop him.
He watched you examine the ring, taking in every little detail with a warm smile playing on your lips. “Maybe you should say those four words before giving me a speech about logistics,” you suddenly noted.
“What–Oh, right,” he said when realization hit him, then took the ring from you to do this right. “Will you marry me?” 
You let out a low, thoughtful hum instead of answering. Did you really have to think about it? But then you looked up at him with that beaming smile of yours and said yes, making him the happiest man with this single word.
“We're going to our engagement party tonight. I invited everyone who's important to us,” he announced.
“A party? And if I said no?” 
Rolling his eyes, Max let out a groan. “I swear you and Charles couldn't deny being twins if you wanted to,” he said, earning a questioning look. “That was his first question as well.”
The party in the evening was wonderful. Everyone was so happy to hear the news, and they had a lot of fun together. You and your mother disappeared for a while, and soon Charles and Arthur decided to join you in a private room, which gave him some time to talk to Alex. He needed to know what your brother truly thought of this engagement, and she surely knew something.
They sat on a couch next to each other, and she was watching him with a knowing smile over the cocktail in her hand. “What do you want to know?” she asked.
It took Max by surprise, but he was relieved to know she was willing to talk to him. “What does Charles think about this? I mean, really think? I'm sure he told you.” 
“He thinks you're taking her away from him, but that's only because they're so close. Dating someone is one thing, but planning a wedding?” She shrugged, but the kind smile was still present. “Look, he understands that this is what she wants, he knows how much you love her, so he made peace with the idea.”
Nodding, he leaned back and drank some from his cocktail. “So I have nothing to worry about?” 
“As long as you don't hurt her.”
“I'm not planning to do that,” he assured her.
Alex's smile grew even wider. “Then you have nothing to be afraid of.”
Their conversation went on for a little longer, but then it was interrupted by Lando who showed up with shots on a tray, planning to give him a speech while getting drunk together. He accepted his offer with a laugh, and Alex decided to give them space after sharing a drink with them. 
Lando had an arm wrapped around Max’s shoulder after their third shot, animatedly explaining something related to marriage, some weird theory that didn't even make much sense. How much he had drunk before was a mystery, but he was his friend, so he just listened to him with a smile. 
Hours later they all went home, and he was glad to finally have you all to himself. You spent the night talking, sleep somehow avoiding the both of you, but he didn't mind, it was nice to discuss things you were expecting from the wedding. Because you were already planning it in your head, trying to decide where to hold the reception, how many guests to invite, and what kind of dress you wanted.
And then you brought up the date. You were thinking about a month with a lower temperature, maybe in the spring, but he had a different idea. He didn't want to wait until next year. If it was up to him, the two of you would elope the next day, getting married without anyone knowing. But he knew you would want your family and friends to be there, so he was willing to settle with an alternative.
“How about this year? The beginning of September or the first half of October? We have short breaks then,” he suggested. 
You looked surprised, but despite the frown, you seemed to consider the idea. “This soon? Planning a wedding takes time, even if we get help from a professional wedding planner–”
Max smiled at you before leaning forward to give you a quick kiss. “I already took care of that. She said even a September wedding is possible if we're open to a compromise when it comes to the venue,” he told you.
“I'm not even surprised to hear that,” you said with a laugh. “So September, huh? I'll need to start looking for a wedding dress right now then.”
The next few months were challenging when it came to the races, the car wasn't performing the way it should have, but his frustration always melted away the moment his eyes fell on you, whether you were there at the track or during a video call after the race. He was always reminded that he would get to marry you soon, that all he had to do was be patient.
When the time came, he was full of energy, he was as excited as a little kid on Christmas, and he couldn't wait to hear you say yes. The thought of Charles walking you down the aisle made him smile every time because you knew how important that was to you. To the both of you. 
And when he tried to imagine what you would look like, how your dress would hug your body, how your hair and makeup would be done, he couldn't stop grinning. If there was one thing you and your brother had in common, it was the ability to look effortlessly pretty without trying.
But reality surpassed his wildest dreams, because you were breathtakingly beautiful. And his mind began to wander, he was already several steps ahead, planning to do something that could take your relationship to the next level, and his thoughts only returned to the present when the ceremony got the the I dos. 
Before the reception began, he flagged down the photographer to ask for the photos he had taken not long ago, and once you both received the pictures, he immediately posted it on Instagram. He knew he should have waited and posted a photo dump, but he was too eager to share the news of his marriage with the world.
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maxverstappen1: My best friend, my soulmate, my WIFE. I love you, sweetheart.
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Your wedding was truly a celebration of your relationship, of your future together, and the love that tied you to all those people in your lives. He was one of the three people who knew a little secret; a secret he allowed to be announced to you and your family on your wedding day.
So you two and your family members gathered in the room you had gotten ready in, and you all watched Charles who was pale as a ghost, fidgeting with his watch until Alex reached for his hand with a supportive smile.
“I know this is your big day, sis,” he began, giving you an apologetic look, “but Max let us make the announcement today since you're all here.” 
He stopped and looked over at his girlfriend, letting her be the one to get to the point. “I’m pregnant,” she said happily.
Max’s eyes never left you, he was waiting to see your reaction, and he didn't regret waiting, He saw that wide smile that appeared on your face, and heard that adorable happy squeal before you ran over to your brother to give them both a hug. That's exactly the reaction he was expecting from you, this is why he told them to make the announcement that day.
Once everyone left to have a drink while they told it to their friends too, the two of you remained in there alone, and he was quick to close the door and push your back against it before you could walk out as well. You gave him a surprised look, but he turned the lock as he kissed you fiercely, his hand moving down to your waist to keep you in place.
“I was thinking,” he began as his lips trailed along your jawline. “And before you say it, I'm definitely not turning this into some kind of competition with Charles. But remember when we talked about starting the baby project after the wedding? We are after the wedding technically, no?”
Now that you knew what he wanted, you reached up to tangle your fingers into his hair, pulling him into another kiss. “We’ll have to be quick if we don't want the guests to notice,” you mumbled when you pulled away for a moment.
He gave you a disapproving look at this. “I don't care about the guests. I will take my time with you. Now, buttons or zipper?” 
“Buttons,” you replied with a quiet chuckle.
With a groan, he stepped back and moved his index finger in a circle. “Turn around,” he said. As he began the painfully slow and annoying task of unbuttoning your dress’ back, he added, “A zipper would have been so much better.”
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yourusername: Little Verstappen in the works.
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pascale.leclerc.355: I'm so glad my babies will soon have their own little families. All the best for you two!
alexandrasaintmleux: Our babies will be the best of friends ❤️
⤷ charles_leclerc: But our boy will be the better driver.
⤷ maxverstappen1: You wish.
maxverstappen1: I love the both of you so much ❤️ I'm lucky to have you in my life.
arthur_leclerc: Congratulations, sis!
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[If you approach a Lyon lion hungry you will see teeth]
Max had always known he wouldn't race forever, and with his son in the picture, he always made sure you were okay with him going on. Because he would spend most part of the year traveling, leaving the two of you behind, but you always told him it was okay, that you could go to a few races with him to spend some time together.
When his son became old enough, he took him karting to see if he was even interested. He had grown up watching him in F1, he saw old videos of his races against his uncle, so neither of you were surprised when at the age of six he began to talk about starting to race himself. But it wasn't his idea only, Charles's son was also hell-bent on racing. 
This is how their old rivalry continued with a new generation, although they definitely didn't hate each other off the track. It was truly heartwarming to see them celebrate together, hugging each other after a successful race. Of course, this came with the media's attention, they often wrote about the two being at the top of their category, but neither of them paid much attention to that.
The problems began when his son fell back into the midfield in the new season, because shortly after articles began to appear about his talent. Well, more like the lack of it. Some journalists thought he didn't have what it took to be as good as his father, and Max was fuming from anger every time he read one of these.
“Just don't read them,” you suggested one night after putting your son to bed. 
You sat in his lap with your arms wrapped around his neck, and Max put down his phone with a sigh. “It's hard to ignore these idiots. They know absolutely nothing about him, they don't know what's going on with him behind the scenes,” he said before giving you a soft kiss.
It was true. During the break, your nephew proudly showed him an article about the two of them, so he figured he should do his own research. And all he saw were articles where journalists were comparing him to his father, analyzing his every move on the track. It put pressure on him, pressure that he apparently couldn't handle.
He didn't hesitate to take him to a psychologist, knowing perfectly well his mental health came first, but it was a slow process. The two of you did your best to help him, you always told him how good he was, that he just needed a little time to ease back into racing after the break. And you both also assured him that you would love him more than anything even if he stopped racing altogether.
“Did you read what my father said?” he asked you suddenly, and you shook your head in response. “He said that I wasn't pushing him hard enough. I swear he's out of his goddamn mind,” he said angrily. 
You placed a soft kiss on his temple, then rested your chin on top of his head. “You know what he's like. As long as you don't start acting like him–”
“I would never,” he was quick to assure you.
“I know. Limiting contact between him and our son was the best decision we could make. Let's just hope these comments don't reach our boy.”
Max began to place soft kisses on your neck, his hand slowly moving up your back under the shirt. “I love you two so much,” he mumbled against your skin. “I'll discuss what to do tomorrow. I know some journalists have been trying to reach me for a comment, if the team says it's okay to talk to them, I will. Nobody should mess with my family.”
“Just try to stay calm. I know it's been a long time since Mad Max came out to play, but we're doing fine without him,” you said with a short laugh.
He looked up at you as he captured your lips in a kiss. “I can't make any promises.”
The next day the team gave him the green light to comment on the speculations under the condition of every single word being sent via email to have proof later. Though the PR people tried to tone down his harsh reaction, Max wasn't about to let them. He wanted the journalists to know he wasn't about to let them write that bullshit about his son anymore. 
If they had a problem, they should come to him first for comment instead of publishing these pieces so anyone, including his son, could see it. If they wrote something like that, he wanted to have a quote from himself there too, mostly because he wanted his son to know his father was always in his corner.
As he waited for news about the journalists who received his comment from his team, Max saw his phone buzz on the table to signal a new message. When he checked it, he saw it was from Charles, and since he had nothing better to do, he quickly checked it.
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Just as he hoped, some of the articles were extended with his comment, or in some cases brand new pieces were published. They visibly toned down the vitriol, probably understanding that they were talking about a kid, not an adult who could protect himself. He even received a message or two in which journalists apologized for the way they handled this topic. 
The perks of including two off the record sentences to make them think. “If it was your child, would you be happy to read this? Wouldn't you worry how it affects them?” he wrote.
When he got home, the first thing he did was hugging his son tightly, telling him how much he loved him, promising to play against him in the sim rig after dinner. You were watching them with a loving smile on your lips, one that drew him closer and made him kiss you softly.
“Have you checked Instagram lately?” you asked him. Raising an eyebrow, Max shook his head. With a smile, you opened it on your phone and navigated to your brother's account before giving it to him. “We can count on our family, no matter what. As long as our son has this support, everything's gonna be okay.”
When he read the caption, he couldn't help but smile. “We should show him,” he said, motioning towards your son who was writing his homework. 
You shook your head as you took back your phone. “He was the one who saw it first.”
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charles_leclerc: Like fathers, like sons. They will carry on our legacy because they are both insanely talented, and we are proud of them, no matter what happens in their careers. We love you, boys!
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yourusername: ❤️
arthur_leclerc: My nephews are badasses, don't mess with them.
user1: Those articles are disgusting, I don't get how anyone in their right mind can write that about a kid.
⤷ user2: No wonder Max finally commented on them. But it's so good to see how much he loves his son.
⤷ user3: Mad Max is back!
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note 2: That's all, folks. What do you think? Feedback is always welcome.
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genderqueerdykes · 1 month
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I've heard smoking can harm the effects of estrogen, does this apply to nicotine in general or just smoking?
thank you so much for asking this question, this is an extremely important matter to discuss! smoking while taking estrogen HRT is highly discouraged for 2 reasons.
the first is that smoking (nicotine) has been shown to completely neutralize and eliminate the effects of estradiol altogether:
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nicotine reduces the amount of circulating estrogen one has in their system, which can lead to menopause in many individuals.
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the second reason is that smoking nicotine can increase risk of life threatening clotting disorders like stroke, heart attack and pulmonary embolism:
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many folks are not informed of the fact that estrogen hrt can cause increased risk for pulmonary embolism and heart complications- this is why it's vital to make sure you get testing done by a professional to make sure what levels will be safe for your body, or what complications you may face if you have blood clotting or heart issues.
i can't find too many studies that disseminate different types of tobacco usage (chew, vape, patches, etc.) but it does in fact seem like the nicotine itself, no matter how it's administered, greatly affects one's estrogen levels.
overall, i would say it would be best to completely quit using nicotine if you are planning going on estrogen HRT. not only will you see more of the effects you're looking for, but you'll feel better in general, and have a way reduced risk of stroke and heart attacks. there's little to no point in taking a medication that will become completely useless once administered. i had a problem with smoking cigarettes for a while and i wish you the best if you do, yourself.
i hope this information has been helpful, thanks for stopping by! good luck out there
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xo-cod · 11 months
Text
141 + reader
hc's when you five share the barracks together/just in general <3 (ooc, rushed my bad lmao, can be read platonically/romantically, reader is v close to them!!) kinda long oops 😩 might do a part 2 idk
nsfw version 🩷
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there's a whole lot of testosterone and musk in the air when you're sharing living spaces with 4 men ‼️
all four men compete with each other to get your attention, even if it's unknowingly
whole lotta pouting when you're spending time with more man than the other, you're a great companion ;) and the army is lonely. they all need equal love and attention
speaking of, if you're smelling like one of them the other will immediately bundle you in his arms to put his scent on you instead and to cancel out the other (alpha behaviour 😵‍💫)
whole lotta flirting from each of them. they're all very intelligent soldiers, they know exactly what to say to get you going 😙
all of them adore the height difference with you. you get teased about it relentlessly (out of love obvi)
i don't think they're particularly messy men but ghost and gaz are the most cleanest, they like having their things in order and knowing where everything is
price is next because he's slumped with being captain so you'll see a lot of his paperwork around with coffee mugs from pulling all nighters
soap is more organised mess. it might look messy to you but he knows exactly where everything is
you, soap and gaz definitely have rap battles late at night. it starts of quiet but you'll usually hear price shouting at you three from his bedroom to stfu. ghost threatens to pull a grenade if you don't be quiet
assuming you're naturally a good cook, they'd all be so appreciative :") especially on bad days, your cooking reminds each of them of home (or lack of)
face masks! gaz would 100% be down to do them with you, soap would follow next because if gaz is doing it then he too???
ghost would roll his eyes, continuing polishing his guns with a rag "you ain't putting that muck on my face"
price would just look at you, shaking his head "got too much to do, sweetness"
but you're quite the convincer and all four men are on the floor of your bedroom, gossiping about the last mission with their preferred colour of face mask across their faces
assuming you're the only woman, they get very protective when you're hurt. soldiers get hurt from time to time but its different when it's you
"you alright, bonnie?" soap's gentle voice comes through your room as he hands you a warm mug of your fave drink
gaz had you wrapped in a big fluffy blanket, gently stroking your back
"who was it?" ghost's voice is firm, wanting to know who dared injured the youngest member of their team
"already got a handle on 'em" price follows, looking at the computer. whatever enemy dared to raise their hands on wished they'd be six feet under after all four men are done with them
you're the one each man needs when they're having a particularly bad day which are usually far in few between but sometimes it happens
gaz and soap are the types to seek you out, their faces settled in a troubled frown before they place their arms around you. no questions just yet, they just want to feel skin to skin for now. keeping them grounded before they can explain what happened. they're not looking for a fixer, just someone who'll listen
ghost and price are the type to isolate themselves for a while until it's night and then you'll find them gently knocking on your bedroom door and slipping inside, between your covers. their grip is strong, burying their faces deep into your neck whilst trying to wrap his arms as much as he can. these two won't talk much either, just looking to be held and stroked to calm down
ghost and soap are the type to show affection through lingering touches while gaz and price show affections through their words.
but speaking of hugs, each of them have their own special way they like to embrace
ghost thinks he's being slick but you realise just how touchstarved he really is, he gives hugs with his arms around your shoulders bringing you in to his chest. mostly because he's tall and broad but he likes how he can manhandle you from this position and smelling your scent <3
soap's the type to tackle you in a playful hug, maybe a spin to get a laugh out of you before he gently strokes your skin for a few seconds, a gentle kiss to your temple <3
price likes to hug from behind, resting his chin on your head while he looks at what you're doing. depending on you, his big arms are either wrapped on your waist or your shoulders <3
gaz gives side hugs because he likes linking his arm around your hips and he likes how you fit snugly into his body. and this way he can lean his head against yours and can bring you in closer with his other arm <3
all four can immediately smell you before you come in because they adore whatever perfume/spray you have
each of them would absolutely melt into pieces if you joined them/kept them company in what they were doing
and if they catch you in a towel after having a shower, best believe they're quickly walking back around to where they came from to help alleviate the growing... tent in their pants
lowkey kinda pervy 🫣 (never in a harmful way)
each of them have their strong points and would 100% train you in becoming stronger
even if you're a well established soldier, they all worry for your safety
price would teach you sniper techniques, ghost teaches you combat, gaz teaches you how to sharpen your aim and soap teaches you about explosives and how to construct/dismantle each of them
they take the training very seriously with you
a ton of cursing when their fave team loses lmaoo
if you're avid tea drinker, join the gaz/ghost/price club. if you're not, join the hater club with soap <3
ghost/gaz/soap will playfully fight with you, careful not to use their full strength and not to harm you. but it's so cute to them when you're struggling a little under them.
but when price scolds them in doing so, "i'm just helping in case there's an attack!"
if you're arguing against one of them, another will come to your defence. unless you're arguing all four then it's the silent treatment from you 🤭
all four of them melt when you call them by their real name instead of their callsign :")
ghost usually comes to you when his balaclava is broken and he'll keep you company as your fingers work their magic to the fabric, gently leaning against you as you speak to him
price will let you shape up his beard after you begging to do so and he grows to enjoy those tender moments
soap definitely calls for your help to shape up his mohawk, he trusts your hand to eye coordination above anyone elses
ghost will playfully ruffle your hair whenever you both pass each other
price gives you a gentle squeeze on the shoulder
gaz gives you a soft stroke on your arm or back whenever he's passing by
soap will gently tap his head against yours, not too hard to cause pain but just enough to know that he's there
but above all, the barracks you five share is definitely a safe space for each of them the second they come through the door <333
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shaisuki · 6 months
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SHIT! THAT HURTS, BUT IT'S AN ACCIDENT. RIGHT, SWEETHEART?
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ft. gojo satoru, nanami kento, fushiguro toji, geto suguru
content warnings ─── noncon, dacryphilia, implied kidnapping, punishments, forced affection, choking, stockholm syndrome, blood, forced marriage, delusions.
ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ accidents do happen. that's why you accidentally hit them but thank the heavens above, they understand. it would be easier if you just let them do what they want.
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GOJO SATORU
the accumulated perspiration coming from the deepest end of your dermis shows it appearance as it runs down to your forehead. goosebumps rising as you felt his presence getting nearer. there's no blood lust or the imminent danger that tells your mind to run. accustomed from the conditioning your body had done every time you sense his presence.
your grip on the edge of your book gets tighter as the pages crumple at your very touch. you hoped he's tired or isn't in a bad mood. in that way he would just force you to cuddle him until you fall asleep. one thing you knew with living with him that is he never sleeps or so you think. you didn't know. you never catched him being asleep. it's not like you're going to murder him in cold blood.
you shift in your seat. trying to find a comfortable position despite the weariness growing in you and pretends you're engrossed in your book. you didn't want to send him a message that you're scared of him but you weren't comfortable with him either.
cold palms holds your round cheeks and you were greeted by him smiling. his dimples deepening and he is yet to remove his blindfold. “i'm home, my love.” and he squeezes your cheeks a little hard. anticipating the words that will come flowing out of your mouth. it's a warning. your lips tremble a bit. “w—welcome home, satoru.” you managed to say out aloud and he was satisfied. hooking a finger in his blindfold before pulling it up and discarding it. a sign that his attention is all on you now.
“would you like something to eat?” you asked him. biting your tongue at the question. regretting at your choice of yours and you should have stayed silent. your brain screaming and hoping that he is actually hungry and you're not insinuating that will get him riled up.
gojo chuckles. “you could be so cheeky, mochi.” pinching your round cheek. “you know the answer.” he said and you panic for a brief moment before he takes it back. “as much i'd like to have you for dinner, i prefer us sharing a meal tonight.” you wished this was set on a different timeline. where you would be his from your own will. his good housewife where you will miss him for real and share the sentiments of being together despite busy schedules but it's not. you're still sane and you were just playing pretend.
a quick hot meal and the plates and bowls are already laden with food. you both ate in silence. aside from him spoon feeding you. watched in glee as you ate what he feeds you. your lips around the chopsticks while you chew and hums in delight.
the meal ends when the dishes are stacked in the sink and you told him that you'll take care of it while he takes a bath. he didn't look at you suspiciously. confident in himself that can't run away from him and you knew that too well.
you're almost finished drying the plates when he got out of the shower. never liked staying for too long when you're here. itching to get closer to you every time he's far away from you and he takes a little longer to admire his wife doing the simplest of things. the calmness of your face and your body moving in slow motion. it's almost he was being serenaded with such tranquility coming from you. he almost feels bad when he's the reason sometimes of your tears.
he slowly walks towards you. encasing you in his arms and he feels you stiffen against his touch. body turning rigid while his large hands dwarfs over to your smaller hands. helping you wipe the plate dry until there is nothing left to clean.
“satoru, not tonight. please.” your husband began to kiss you. he likes the word "husband". it brings him joy knowing that he is yours. “why?” he asks. his hard on poking through his gray sweatpants and is pressed to your ass. “i'm not in the mood.” you reason out. holding his wrists in a firm hold. his hands creeping under your blouse. his fingers digging in the plushness of your stomach. “then let's get you in the mood.” he breath out. kissing the side of your head and then to your jaw. his hands kneading the flesh in your stomach like dough. his touch were like fire. scorching and scalding. burning in your skin and causing you pain that you can't measure with.
“please! not tonight!” you snap out in anger. in frustration. sick to your stomach of letting him do whatever he pleases. of pretending that you like whatever he does.
he stops for a moment. listening to your plea and he grabs your shoulder. making you turn around to face him. he cups your jaw and forcing you to look at his eyes. you could stare at those icy blue eyes that looks like spheres where the universe is held forever. instead you loathed it. it's a reminder how vast the world is and here you are, imprisoned and is forced to this man's whims.
your lips are soft against him. he missed kissing you. he's been away for a week and you're here, denying him. he took it as an advantage to wrapped his arms around your waist before hoisting you above. your body beginning to struggle against him but he continued to kiss you until you were both in the bed. placing you down before his body traps you.
“is it because i was rough last week, baby?” his voice laced with concern that it's poison to hear. “no. i just don't want to be with you tonight.” your eyes begins to get heavy with tears. “not now, satoru.” you begged hoping he would stop. gojo grasps your cheek. “i'm sorry if i was rough but i will be gentle tonight.” he assures you but no words can convince you.
then you leave him no choice.
he puts his shin in your thighs preventing movements and lessening your resistance to him and then in a brief flash when your wrist got loose. his cheek started to sting. the crimson liquid seeping in the cracks of his dermis and he smiles. halting his assault to you and relish in the physical pain you put him through. since when did he got injured last? feel the pain of the surface of his body. he fought the strongest of curses. fought with toughest of foes. got stabbed with a blade and shaked the hands of death.
there's infinity protecting him and yet, he can't shield himself from loving you and he's more than willing to accept your touch and harm him in anyways you can.
he watched you as you curl up in a fetal position. protecting your body from him as you sobbed. the first tears rolling down in your cheeks and staining the pillows below you.
this won't stop. you would be always in this position no matter how you resist. you braced yourself for what to come and you were met with nothing. no greedy of his hands touching you and you were relieved. maybe, he gave up for tonight.
how wrong you are. you look at him through blurry eyes and his pale cheeks were colored in his blood. you did it. you inflicted pain in him. you wounded him. you take a gulp of air. calming your erratic heartbeat. not once did it crossed your mind you can harm him. with his infinity and those eyes and the endless power bestowed to him. you could never.
there is a look of animosity behind your eyes that he can see clearly. he's a little hurt aside from the wound. your soft body is sprawled beneath him. sobs racking throughout your body and it hurts him a little to see you crying.
“i thought it will change....” a hiccup interrupted your following words then when you regained your control to speak, you continued. “...my feelings for you. that one day, despite of what you had done. i'll learn to love you...” your fist clenching. your hands making a close-open motion before turning into a fist again. grasping the blanket. “nothing changed, i'm sick of playing house with you. i fucking hate you.” all the madness and you don't think it will reach to him.
a little. he knows how much you despised him. loathed him.
he don't care though. you were still his wife. no matter what you were feeling. be it hatred or fondness that he will never attain. you already hate him, what's the point of caring for your silly, little feelings when he can always make it up to you.
“i know.” he whispers. brushing a lock of your hair and leaning down to press his forehead to yours. his blue eyes staring intently in your eyes, tears at the corner.
alas, it never ends. your tears, your voice and will being taken away. how his hands latching at the lapels of your top. ripping it apart just like how he always do. your pajama shorts following.
bite your lips as he slowly penetrates you. don't make a sound. you tell to yourself. just don't. don't. don't. don't. don't. don't. don'—.
he promises to himself that after this, he would spoil you. buy all your favorite snacks, new clothes, a whole set of the book he knows you really like. he would take the day off to spend the rest of his days pampering you. kiss all the parts where it hurts but now, let him feel you as he kisses the salty streaks of your tears in your cheek. stare at your eyes and search for his reflection. his fingers intertwining at yours and when you squeezed his hands back, he'll convince himself that you really loved him despite all of that.
and it's more than enough.
NANAMI KENTO
you spend your days lounging around. the ankle cuffs weighing heavier than it is. search every cracks and cranny of the penthouse, hoping to entertain yourself and you've found some rather interesting things but it was nothing when you found the key to your freedom.
an old model of a phone. it wasn't damaged at the very least along with a few scratches and a minimal crack in the corner of the screen. you think it was nanami's phone during his high school years but you set aside the thoughts. this was necessary for your freedom.
pressing the key button, you let out a sharp gasp. the device vibrates and beeps with the model's ringtone. every second feels like eternity waiting for it to power up.
the screen lights up. showing you the screensaver and the date and time that was at least a decade ago. you check if there is network and you were graced with a full bar signalling that it was capable of calling someone. you changed the date and time to match with today and to avail the services.
your hands shaking as you tapped the buttons one by one. unaware of the door opening and the footsteps getting closer to where you are. you didn't even think he'd be home this early.
there's a sound akin to a purr when you pressed the button a little longer. it's the last digit of the number of the person you've been itching to call since you've been declared missing. they must be worried sick. your hands shake, getting clammy as you pressed the call button. there's static then the familiar hum of the number being dialed.
dialing.
dialing..
dialing...
“hello?” the familiar voice of your mom at the end of the receiver and your hands tremble. you breathe in and out. steadying your breathing and you want to break in a sob. this is it. someone is going to help you now. a tear falls before you can speak.
“mom! m—.” it happens in a slow motion. his large and warm palm in yours before he pulls the phone away from you. pressing the end call button swiftly and putting it in his pockets. since when? since when did he get back? wasn't he at work?
“give it back!” you yelled, reaching out for him. for his pockets. why did it have to be so close yet so far. “darling, you can't.” he says apologetically. pursing his lips in thin line and he can feel a migraine coming.
“no! stop telling me what to do! i'm so sick of you controlling me!” you almost spat at his face. desperately clawing him to get that device. he holds your shoulder, stopping your advances in him but you kept fighting for it. punching at him with your fists but what are you to the man who was built like a solid rock.
he's patient but sometimes his patience runs thin when things doesn't go in his way. he's already in a sour mood after having to deal with a colleague and you, his supposed to be sweet wife is fighting him. with no choice, he lifts you up. putting you in his shoulders like you were a sack of potatoes.
that didn't hinder you and you were putting up a fight. your freedom was that close and you couldn't let this chance slip. your arms hitting his back and your legs moving. squirming as you try to wrestle your way out from his grip.
“let me go! let me call my mom!” you sniffle. the tears flowing from your cheeks freely staining the back of his shirt. your arms still flailing and with a particular movement. your elbow made contact on his cheek. nanami remains stoic and he knows it will bruise.
you limply slide away from his body when his hold on to you got loose. clutching your arms and watch droplets of your tears fall on the ground. your hiccups were sudden and squeezes your chest with every breath. “i just want to go home.” you whisper.
when will you ever learn?
and why does it hurt him when you cry even when it's your fault. he loves you. a part of his brain tell him. it's an accident. he tells to himself. you were never meant to hurt him and you were just missing your mother. what a pain. you were supposed to be dead in the outside world. now, your existence are known and it would not take long before it spreads about you being alive. perhaps, he can make arrangements regarding to your family members.
he loves you and that's why he only tolerates your misbehaviors but now, he don't think he can put up with this tantrums again. you needed to learn.
nanami kneels down at your level. his hazel eyes warm and gives you the illusion that he'll let go of this but it was unforgiving. he cradles your cheek with his palm. “i'm sorry darling, you need to learn a lesson.”
the blonde sorcerer watch in desire as shiver runs down throughout your body. his fingers tracing the outline of your back where your spine is covered by your supple flesh. normally, nanami would take pleasure in this. watch as you writhe and squirm for him. it's considered therapeutic for him but in the next minutes it would be going to be hard for you.
your face buried in the sheet while your ass is in the air. bare and sore from the previous spanking and it's not enough. you needed to learn. take a lesson in what he's about to do and he's not forgiving at all times.
he rubs his fingers into your clit. flicking and pinching to get you nice and wet for him. although he's strict on prepping you first — stretching you properly with his fingers, tonight it wouldn't be present. he hopes you're already wet before he sinks his cock into you.
you feel him rub his cock to your slit before slowly inserting his cock into your hole. you winced as his large cock forces you to open for him. he's big and it hurts. tears stains the sheets under you as you bit the fabric. muffling your discomfort and the pain that spreads in your sex.
shit, all he can do is grit his teeth while your cunt engulfs his length. he can hear your whimpers and gasps and see the tears spreading in the sheets. he needs to do it or else it'll happen again. he can never let you go or leave him. you will always be forever with him.
when he taught that you're well and adjusted to him, nanami began to piston his hips at a brutal pace. the slam of his hips to yours makes your flesh jiggle and watch it stack in layers and fuck, it's beautiful how your body moves and responds to his every touch. just bare with it. he thinks to himself. he won't last too long from how good you are to him and true to it, he's already spilling his load inside you.
and now he regrets it. your back is pressed against his chest while he rubs the sore spots all over your body. you remained motionless. blinking the tears away and how you flinches away from his touch. remaining quiet and barely acknowledging his presence.
“forgive me, my darling.” he whispers to you. kissing your shoulders in attempt of redeeming himself from being too rough with you. his heart breaks when you ignored him. making yourself smaller in his presence despite being caged in his arms.
sighing, he continues his affections to you. knowing in due time you had your share and you wouldn't want to experience any of it again.
one thing he's sure of. you will never attempt again with his wrongdoings plaguing your mind and it's better. conveniently perfect for him until the next time.
FUSHIGURO TOJI
who thought you could put a fight.
although the damage was minimal, adrenaline pumps in his system. it's clear you were startled and your flight or fight response kicking in, in which you choose the latter to defend yourself.
a huge scratch mark decorating his arm and toji barks a laugh. licking his lips and the scar on the corner of his mouth twitches. it wasn't any different to the marks littering in his back from his artist of a wife. it wasn't bleeding but it stings when the cold air touches his peeled skin.
emerald eyes glimmers in amusement and toji crouches to your sniveling form in the corner of the bed. he cups your round cheek with his hand. “what do you say, princess when you've hurt someone?” he asks. humming to get that answer but you stubbornly avoided his gaze. rubbing your hands in your arms to comfort yourself.
toji clicks his tongue in annoyance. “it looks like you've forgotten your manners, huh?” he grabs your wrist and you pulled it away from him but toji kept his grip tight and bruising. almost crushing your wrist. “need me to teach it to you, sweetheart?” the sorcerer assassin taunts you. you shaked your head and toji sighs. you're going to learn it the hard way.
it's bruising. his hand wrapped around your neck and you see little spots of white in your vision while he drills his cock in your cunt. his other hand in your plush waist using it as a leverage to get deeper in your pussy. “are you really make me say it, you stubborn bitch.”
you can't speak. not when his hand are wrapped in your throat. you can't even make a sound and you stare back at him with tears in your eyes while you squeezed around him. earning a involuntarily moan from the man above you.
he loosens his grip and you took gulps of air before speaking, “i—i'm sorry.” you manage to croak out and toji chuckles. “see, it wasn't that hard to say. you really like being fucked by me before you can learn your lesson. keep it in mind, that me fucking you is second to me killing those monkeys outside.” toji leans down to whisper those words to you. looking at you side ways and watch your expression morphs into something of fear, desire as you moaned around him.
“don't be fucking stubborn to me the next time or you will get worse than this. i won't be forgiving you.” he warns. “understand?”
“yes.” you say nodding.
“good fucking girl.”
GETO SUGURU
you were absolutely mortified. he can see clearly how your lips trembled and the hue of your eyes being clouded with fear. shocked even. he knows you didn't mean it and you barely made a scratch on him.
“come here, sweet girl.” geto calmly called you but you shake your head. taking steps backwards like you were afraid of him. “now.” his voice now assertive and you slowly walk towards him. head hung low from being ashamed of harming your master.
“i—i'm sorry, geto-sama. i didn't mean it.” you drawl out to him and his fingers went to grasp your chin. meeting his gaze and you were nervous just by looking at them.
“i know you don't.” his hands finding your back to rub it. assuring you that it was fine and no harm was done to him and only the feeling of being betrayed that you felt unsafe around him. thinking that he will lash out at you and force you to unimaginable things that he's capable of but curse user is not like that. he values you that much but it doesn't mean you'll get away from it.
“but it is an accident i can't turn a blind eye on. are you scared of me?” he asks. his gaze turning dark as he looks at you straight in the eye.
you remained silent. truth be told, you are. you are scared of him. you've witnessed how he can commit such heinous acts without remorse and you're afraid that you'll upset him and you're going to end up like them. that's what you think but geto is far from that to you.
he noticed how your body trembles. the face of anxiety is visible for him to see and he chuckles to himself, amused. he was just playing with you and the answer is clear in front of him.
he brushes his lips to yours. “do not fear me, sweet girl.” he murmurs. the action enough to topple you in the edge and he hears your heart beating in your rib cage. your breath stuck in your throat and your eyes blown with lust.
“you always can make it up to me.” he says to you before turning his back to you and it was your cue to follow him in his private quarters.
that's why you found yourself bare in front of him. sweat glistening in your skin while you worked to please him. accident or not, you need to make it up for him. a way you can be freed from the burden you are now carrying by bestowing the most of heinous of acts to him. one thing that you promised yourself that you will never lay a hand in him unless he instructs you so.
you just love him so much that you're blind that you are only being exploited for his own gains.
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mac-tirs · 8 days
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the usage of different types of english in elden ring
most human/tarnished NPCs we meet, like rogier, ansbach, and nepheli, use late modern english:
"a sorcerer, as you might have guessed. i'm looking for a little something, here in the castle. when i'm not hotfooting it from the troops, that is." - rogier, first meeting "general radahn. a pleasure to see you, after all this time. but those remains do not belong to you." - ansbach, upon summon for PCR
but older demigods like messmer, ranni, and morgott use early modern english:
"thou'rt tarnished, it seemeth. mother, wouldst thou truly lordship sanction, in one so bereft of light? yet… my purpose standeth unchanged." - messmer, pre-battle cutscene "thou needst not indulge them unduly, but they too wish to appraise thy worth. it hath been a passing long time since a newcomer entered my service, after all." - ranni, after agreeing to serve her
then there are the younger demigods, like miquella, malenia, and potentially melina, who use a later variant of modern english, similar to the tarnished NPCs we speak to:
"if we honour our part of the vow, promise me you'll be my consort. i'll make the world a gentler place." - miquella, post-PCR cutscene "the scarlet bloom flowers once more. you will witness true horror. now, rot!" - malenia, phase 2 transition cutscene
finally, the hornsent NPCs like the hornsent, hornsent grandam, and the hornsent spirits such as the one outside the whipping hut, who use late middle english similar to the english found in shakespeare's sonnets:
"fie, another? ... then, as that woman would surely say, we are in our purposes well aligned. but understand. your kind are not forgiven. the erdtree is my people's enemy. by marika long betray'd, set aflame." - hornsent, first meeting "all your resentment lingers yet... the raw stuff from which i shall surely forge a curse. upon the dastard messmer's head. upon marika's children each and all." - scorched ruins hornsent spirit
i find it interesting how different the usage of english is in the game, and i feel that it can be a hint on how to properly date an individual's occupation in the lands between/land of shadow. the hornsent, being a people much older than many in the lands between, use the most archaic version of english, while the tarnished and younger demigods use a form of english more closely related to our own in the current period. older demigods (and marika herself, as heard from melina's recounts of marika's spoken echoes) use a form of english more closely related to the period of transition from middle english to early modern english.
additionally, another interesting thing to me: mohg is almost certainly nearly the same age as morgott (since they're referred to as twins), yet he speaks a little differently compared to morgott:
"tarnished, thou'rt but a fool." - morgott, post-battle dialogue "dearest miquella. you must abide alone a while." - mohg, pre-battle cutscene
this makes me wonder if it's possible that, assuming that miquella's verbiage is indicative of his younger age in comparison to the older demigods (aka the demigods born before the marika/radagon union), miquella's charm altered mohg's perception enough to also alter his manner of speaking and carrying himself in some way. if his pursuit of finery (dressing in embroidered robes and handling himself with poise, juxtaposing his bestial growls and strength) was mainly done in an effort to fit into miquella's ideal of a consort. of course, mohg could just be as vain as he seems to be all on his own accord, but i find that it's interesting to entertain the idea that even his current state of being was due to miquella's charm.
i'd love to hear what others think about this. i'm not very learned when it comes to english (it's not really my first language), but i find this all very cool to think about.
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nocturnowlette · 5 months
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do you have any hypnosis audio files youd recommend?
Honestly, the answer is a "maybe".
In my opinion, in my 8 years of listening to files, not even 1% qualify as something I'd consider well made. The vast majority are nsfw, and the vast majority of those just throw any actual hypnosis away for a sake of roleplay. That being said, here are some files that, in my estimation, are at a minimum decent.
And always, read the description of every file before listening, even after reading my descriptions.
There's puppy ones at the bottom, by the way.
First, not an audio file, but an itch.io game.
brainwasher_program by sleepingirl (18+)
This is the most competently made thing I will be showing. Sleepingirl is someone I would consider a good hypnotist skillwise.
There is also test hypnosis game1 and ithinktherefore, also itch.io text hypnosis games/sessions.
Next, to my knowledge, the best file I've personally stumbled on (though it still didn't quite wow me),
Failing to Resist by Jack Drago (18+)
This file is a trance trainer, as in a file meant to use the ideas of resistance and turn that idea against you. It does a passable job, and you might find it quite powerful and helpful if you have some stubborn tendencies as a subject.
Next is another passable trance trainer,
Mind Melt by LilithUnleashed (18+)
This file uses arousal to bring about a specific philosophy of trance, one you might find more conducive to effectiveness: enjoying trance for the sake of trance itself, not just using it as a means to an end. There is no wakener at the end.
Next, a twin pair of files,
The Call of the Void and Hypnotic Acceptance by LilithUnleashed
The Call of the Void is a sort of run of the mill hypnosis file meant to be looped, and designed to condition you to trance and specifically to Lilith to some extent. Hypnotic Acceptance is a conditioning file meant to be played out of trance and doesn't bring you in to it. It's a nice idea that can have some small potential benefits, it's also relaxing.
Lilith, in general, is a competent hypnotist, if not a bit... much... at times. That's more of a taste thing, though. She does a good job, and these files are good.
There is also this conditioning loop file by her which is also nice, as well as this one.
Next is one for the pups,
Collared Obedience by LilithUnleashed (18+)
This one is, at a minimum, a very enjoyable time. It creates a mental collar and links it with actual collars if you wish and have the means. It forms one made out of various concepts relating to obedience. The suggestions didn't stick for me, but I'm a tad stubborn.
Obedience 101 - Welcome to Class! by FlowLikeTea
If you haven't noticed, I like trance training files. It's primarily because they're some of the only ones that aren't trying to just do erotic roleplay with the facile idea of hypnosis and hypnotic aesthetics. It reminds me of the ASMR sphere in that way.
Anyways, this file is just nice. Not much else to mention.
Slow and Gentle Hypnotic Induction by GoddessSoft (NotSoftForWork)
Thank you, Ms. Soft, for making an actually competent SFW hypnosis file. Soft is quite the competent hypnotist, and we'll be showing a few of her files coming up, but this one remains my favorite. It's simply a very well done relaxation file by someone who knows her stuff and has a good understanding of most aspects of audio trances.
Good Puppy Clicker Training by GoddessSoft (18+)
This is a beginner-centric clicker training file by Ms. Soft. It's thorough, long, and pleasurable. If you haven't noticed, I have not recommended files intended to make you finish in any way. I don't like them. They do not work for me. You'll have to ask someone else. That being said, GoddessSoft's page on the link has many different puppy files to listen to. Most deal with that.
Puppydog Fractionation by GoddessSoft (18+)
Another not-specifically-nsfw-focused puppy file from Ms. Soft. If I recall right, the sound balancing might be a little iffy on this one, though. Fair warning.
That's all I remember for now, but I might have more recommendations in the future. I hope you enjoy, and be sure to tell me how you respond to some of them. Enjoy!
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allfearstofallto · 6 months
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Make Me Your God, I Can Give You Everything
Yandere! Scaramouche x Broken! Reader
Part of {Mai Playlist}
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“Do you love me?”
“Yes, my lord Scaramouche,”
“How much?”
“More than anything, my lord Scaramouche,”
“Would you kill for me?”
“Happily, my lord Scaramouche,”
“Would you die for me?”
“If it would please you, my lord Scaramouche,”
Like a broken record repeating the same phrase over and over, you spoke your words with little emotion, hardly even a change in cadence. You looked at him, but your eyes had lost that familiar glimmer, that light that he'd come to rather enjoy, even if it was annoying. That light was perseverance, it was hope, it was your drive and will, but now it was gone and you often just looked more like a doll than he did.
“What’s something that would bring you joy?” He asked. Typically, he wasn't one to spoil you, but the last few weeks of you just being so docile and…empty. It had him worried. He wanted that spark back, that light in your eyes. He wanted you back.
“You, my lord Scaramouche,”
“No,” he spat back angrily, “What will really bring you joy? What will make you happy?”
“Anything you offer me is a gift enough, my lord Scaramouche,”
Annoyance caused him to stand swiftly from his chair and march over to where you sat, still as a board and posture straight, just like he'd drilled into you many times before. When he raised his hand to strike you, you didn't even flinch, making him lower it in surrender. You were still as beautiful as the day he got you, still as soft and your voice still as sweet. But you were hollow. Had he truly broken you down so?
He slumped back in his seat and sighed out longingly and you still barely moved. He made a motion with his hand for you to come closer and without a word, you did, “Sit. Join me,” he ordered. Promptly, you sat on his lap, the weight of your body comforting him. You were still in there, somewhere.
“I didn't want this,” he mumbled, his face pressed into you back, arms wrapped around your waist.
“You didn't wish for me to sit here?” You questioned, preparing to stand, but he pulled you back down with little resistance.
“No. I didn't want you to end up like this,” he squeezed your waist a bit tighter, making you let out a shallow breath, “Why couldn't you just love me as you were before. Why did it have to come to this?”
“I do love you, my lord,”
He pushed you from his lap and you crumbled to the floor, still, with little resistance. You didn't look scared or shocked, you didn't even look hurt from the way you'd fallen. Just there. He remembers the last time he'd done something similar to you. You spat at his feet in defiance. Mentally, he cringed at how hard he'd punished you that day. One of the many days of punishment that led to you becoming what you are now. Empty.
“I'm…I'm sorry,” he struggled to get the words out. Eyeing your face he saw something different, the slight raise of your eyebrows, before they fell again. But it was something. It was you, even for just a second, “Is that what you want? An apology?”
He kneeled before you and took one of your feet into his hands, his cold hands traced the soft skin of it. Scaramouche hadn't taken a knee for anyone in years. No one except his creator and the Tsaritsa herself. Both archons, but he put you on a similar pedestal. A kiss was pressed right against the toe of your foot and he felt your body jolt.
“Come back to me,” he pressed another kiss to your foot, “You'll be worshiped, not broken again.”
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barcaatthemoon · 2 months
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casual || alexia putellas x reader ||
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alexia reminds you that you don't have a relationship.
alexia pauses when she walks back into her bedroom to see you sitting up in her bed. a flurry of feelings bubble up inside of her that she shoves down as she moves towards you. you're usually gone by now, alexia can't remember the last time she had to actively kick you out. you've been sleeping together for almost three years now. alexia assumed that you had the routine down already.
"what are you still doing here? are you hurt or something?" you don't like the way that alexia is asking you these questions. it feels like an obligation, when all you wanted to do was rest. alexia had put you through the ringer, pushing you further than you had been pushed in a while. on top of that, you had just started your new exercise routine for the upcoming season.
"no, just tired."
"well, you aren't sleeping over," alexia told you. you narrowed your eyes at her tone, but didn't say anything. alexia rarely spoke to you like that outside of games or practice, so it definitely took you aback a bit.
"alexia, it's almost 2 in the morning," you whined. she didn't seem to budge an inch. she just stood there watching you gather your clothes up and get dressed. "i always let you stay when it's late. i know that i'd feel awful if something happened to you on your way home."
"that's nice, you're such a saint. wait, let me see if the pope will canonize you for your generous heart." alexia had never been so sassy with you before. it wasn't the most mature thing that you could have done, but you found yourself shoving her as you moved past her.
"that's not what i'm asking for. maybe i just want you not to act like such a dick when we're alone. we've been doing this for too long, alexia. i know that you care about me," you told her. alexia scoffed at this before bursting out into a fit of laughter.
"that's funny, really. i like your joke," alexia said as she continued to laugh. the sound usually brought a smile to your face, but now, it was vicious and cut deep.
"it's not a joke," you grumbled.
"don't you get it? you were always just entertainment for me. this isn't love, we aren't going to get married. i wouldn't even date you, not when i know all of the filthy things you'll let someone do to you for a bit of attention." you had never seen alexia get this mean before. there had been close calls, usually made up to you with a weekend getaway and special attention, but this felt different. "did you think i loved you or something?"
"fuck this," you muttered under your breath. you tried to turn away from alexia before she could see you cry, but it was too late.
"this is your own fault, babe. how could you be so foolish to think i ever loved you? like, really?" at this, you began to run out of alexia's as fast as you could. you didn't even bother to stop and get your keys, instead just walking as fast as you could towards the first person you could think to.
"nena, i wish that you would just tell me what happened," mapi said as she wrapped her arm around your shoulders. it had been nearly a week since you had stormed out of alexia's, and she hadn't once tried to contact you. in that time, you had spent every single night at your older sister maria's apartment.
it was difficult not letting her know what happened. alexia was mapi's best friend, and the fact that you had been sleeping together was a secret. you couldn't ruin your sister's strongest friendship by telling her that alexia was the one who had broken your heart like this, even if you wanted to watch alexia suffer.
"the girl i was seeing, we weren't on the same page. she didn't want the same things i did, so we went our separate ways," you told her. mapi sighed in disappointment, but continued to hold you close. "i just want to move on, that's all."
"i get that, but do you have to move on so far away?" mapi asked you. the loan offer to play in the nwsl was not a new one, but this time, it wasn't just a loan. they wanted you to play for the washington spirit when the next nwsl season started up. "your english isn't even that good."
"maria, i'm going. barcelona isn't the right place for me anymore, even though i love it here. i'm going to miss you and everybody, but i need to leave," you told her. mapi cleared her throat in an attempt to fight the lump forming in her throat, but she let you stick with your decision. you were just as stubborn as she could be, and if this was what you thought was right, you'd stick to your guns until the very end.
"you'd better visit as often as you can."
telling the team was hard. avoiding alexia's gaze during the announcement was harder. alexia was good at masking her emotions when it came to you, but this time, she slipped up. it was the tiniest deflation, but you noticed it. even worse, ingrid, and by proxy, mapi also noticed.
"(y/n), we need to talk." you hadn't expected alexia to approach you as the team cleared out. tensions had been kind of high between you over the past few weeks. everybody had noticed, but chalked it down to transfer rumors. barcelona was losing a lot of good players, ones that everybody knew helped with the chemistry and flow of things.
"actually, i think we all need to talk," mapi said, spooking the both of you. she grabbed onto the back of your neck, as well as alexia's. ingrid stood by the door to make sure nobody came in, but also stuck around to keep mapi from murdering alexia on the spot. "when were either of you planning on telling me that you were seeing each other?"
"we weren't seeing each other," you told your sister.
"bullshit, try again," mapi said. she glanced over at alexia, giving her the chance to fess up. "alexia, how long have you been dating my sister?"
"we were never dating, i swear. it was a casual hookup, that's all," alexia said. that may have been the truth, but it wasn't what mapi wanted to hear at all. the defender slammed her hands down on the table and grabbed onto the edges of it, knuckles white from the strength of her grip. "mapi, it didn't feel like anything to tell you."
"i asked you to look out for my baby sister when she made the choice to play here. was it some kind of sick revenge? if i had doen this to alba, what would you have done?" mapi asked. alexia paled as the thoughts ran wild inside of her brain. you had expected mapi to be pissed, but not calm about it.
"maria, i'm sorry," alexia apologized. mapi shoved the table forward as she jumped away from it. ingrid moved forward at this to offer some comfort for her girlfriend.
"i'm not who you need to apologize to! you broke (y/n)'s heart and now she's moving all the way to america! she's leaving, and i can't talk her out of it. i can't talk her out of it and ask her to stay here with you for another season. she's leaving, and i hate you for it." mapi fell into ingrid's grasp and broke down in tears.
"i think you should leave," ingrid said to alexia. your soon to be former captain practically sprinted out of the room. you sat there awkwardly as ingrid comforted mapi. you wanted to apologize for upsetting your sister, but you knew that it would only make mapi feel more guilt. both of you needed to feel your feelings, and as much as you wanted to be there for each other, it would have to be distanced.
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Note
It'd be really super duper cool if you wrote a fic about Stanley finding lewd and/or suggestive polaroid pictures of reader that their girly friend helped them take as a little present behind his back 👀 maybe he finds them stashed in his wallet... Like, ass/boob shots or close-ups of them in cute poses wearing their undergarments or something? I absolutely adore all the drabbles and fics you've been pumping out lately! I'm OBSESSED!
A/n: *SCREAMING* because I love this and been hoping someone would suggest something like this or the reader and Stan making a porno together 🤭.
Also thank you! That mean's so much!
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Turning your back to your friend, you lifted up both of your arms fixing your hair. The only thing you wore were a pair of black lace panties. Your friend snapping the picture getting a cheeky reveal your backside and hips.
The day dragged on as your friended guided you into different poses. From you kneeling on the bed, your head turned slightly away from the camera, lips parted, eyes hooded.
To you sitting on the drawer, with one leg extended down and the other bent to around knee level with your foot resting on the open drawer.
Your fingers were clutching his gold chain, the only other piece of clothing you wore being the lace panties.
And once you were done you could help but give your friend a thank you, that you'll take the rest from their having wanting to take a few more raunchy one's for Stan because those....those would be for his eyes only.
Being the only one in the house, Stan spent most of the day helping Ford get the place ready for Dipper and Mabel. He was so distracted he hadn't realized you were gone. Eye's snapping to the door opening he half expected to see his twin spewing some nonsense, not you holding something behind your back.
"Whatcha got there doll face."
Letting out a soft hum, you smiled as you sat yourself on Stan's lap giving his cheek a kiss while you placed the envelop in his lap. "Just a little gift for you, since you've been over working yourself Stan."
"Is it money?!"
"What!? No! Stan just open it."
Giving you a grin, Stan pinched your hips. "I'm only teasin ya." Though his eyes went wide as he looked over each and every one of the photos. He felt his mouth go dry and the slacks he wore suddenly felt a lot tighter.
You looked like a goddess, you maybe showing of some skin he was having trouble pulling his gaze away as he flipped through the polaroid's he had to shift his body to relieve some of the tension.
He really liked the selfies of yourself the most, the way your tits seemed to be spilling out from the bra he liked so much and god, the look on your face with your hand out of the cameras view.
He knew what you were doing and he wished he could have been there to see it. Quickly brushing the blood from his nose he cleared out his throat.
"Well....what do you think?"
"Bedroom....now."
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38riku · 23 days
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𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐃
making the phantom bride final four feel things (it's my favorite event sue me)
warnings — suggestive? light flirting.
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𝐀. 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐀
"stop glaring or i'll mess it up."
as if to prove your point, his brows pinched further, causing you huff in irritation. "okay. what's wrong? you were psyched up like two seconds ago."
"yeah, well, that was two seconds ago and now is now." his rebuttal caused you to roll your eyes. 'boys' you thought as a viable excuse before trying yet again to straighten his eyeliner.
his eyes darted around the room where the others did similar things: riddle fixed his lapels, epel examined his bouquet, and rook practiced his lines, everyone was unaffected by the current circumstance.
not the rampaging bride that is going to doom a teenage boy to the eternal afterlife, no, the fact that you were straddling him in a small vanity chair.
why was such a compromising position seen so casually? now that he thinks about it, the two of you were rather touchy – piggyback rides, you holding his arms, hugs, etc. – still, this is really teetering the line of friendly affection.
"done!" beaming, you leaned back a bit, causing him to hold on to your waist a bit firmer to keep you upright. "riddle! you have a keen eye, is it straight or what?"
the house warden walked over to the two of you and ace was sure he'd call out how inappropriate this is, but he didn't. instead, he nodded and complimented you on your handiwork.
"no need to thank me." you snorted, getting up to go help the others.
riddle chuckled, patting his freshman on the shoulder as he spoke, "are you upset that they're casually intimate with you or are you upset they might act like that with someone else?"
"w-what?!" ace's cheeks flushed red.
"i may be romantically handicapped but i'm more perceptive to it than you think. i can only suggest to say something sooner than later."
he lowered his head, still blushing, diverting his gaze away from your swaying figure as his house warden's words sunk in.
damn. he did want it to mean something.
ace doesn't know which is more embarrassing: his crush on you or that riddle was the one to make him realize.
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𝐑. 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒
"may i offer a suggestion?"
riddle hummed, meeting your eyes in the vanity mirror. "and what might that be? it's impossible to elevate perfection, you know."
ignoring his arrogant statement, you took a seat, propping his collar up and undoing his tie. "i think you'll stand out more it you tie it differently." you explained your actions, pausing momentarily until he nodded for you to continue.
he watched as you knotted and twirled the fabric, straightening it here and there, and you were done a minute later.
"a bow? it's rather ... cutesy."
"but you're cutesy."
riddle choked, coughing loudly and catching the attention of the other occupants of the room. as they began to walk towards him, he waved them off, effectively keeping them away from his flustered form.
"w-why would you–"
"the cuter you look, the less they'll take you seriously, and as one of the strongest mages left that's perfect for us to break their defenses."
of course, you meant it as a battle advantage – that is your area of expertise, after all.
"don't look so surprised." you joked, flattening out his collar and he hopes you can't feel the heated blush on his neck. "you were thinking the same thing too, right?"
"no, actually... i can't say that i was."
you tilted your head sideways, doubting his words but dropping the subject. "well, from now on don't look down on being cute, kay?"
standing from your seat, you left his vanity to tend to grimm, who, was arguing with ace about who knows what.
if he had half a mind he'd scold them both and cut off the small feline's magic, however, his mind was completely blank.
cute. you think he's cute.
riddle didn't take it as he usually would. for some off reason he felt giddy inside, wishing you meant it in a different ... more flirtatious manner. the poor boy has zero experience but wishing might work, right?
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𝐑. 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓
"you need to talk normally to us so they won't be suspicious. try again."
if rook wasn't used to a strict training regime he'd undoubtedly call you a harsh teacher, but, as a lover of all things beautiful and magnificent he tossed the thought aside.
"no can do mon cherie. her actions are horrendous and nowhere near beautiful." he signed, placing a hand over his wounded heart. "but you, darling, are as heroic and magnificent as ever."
he watched as you rolled your eyes, placing a hand on your hip as you began to reprimand him for his lack of seriousness.
although he heard the words coming from your mouth, he couldn't help but focus on everything else.
despite not being a contender in this entire ordeal you were still dressed beautifully. the color is ethereal on you, he must make note of the hue for later ... and whatever scent you adorned had his senses on ten.
don't you know never to where perfume when there's a hunter nearby?
"rook! are you even listening to–"
all too suddenly he had your hand in his, the other gripping your waist firmly to keep your surprised form upright.
"let me give it to you straight then. the unseen beauty of your compassion and tender heart outshines that of a world class model. not that you aren't attractive, no, no, quite the opposite."
"how greedy can you possibly be?"
deep. rich. clear. his voice was positively enthralling when he dropped that phony accent (it does have a charm of its own in your opinion)
"perfect!" you beamed, his grip on you loosening in surprise of his own. "i knew you could do it. she'll be knocked off her translucent feet i tell you!"
rook allowed you to walk away, scolding epel who wiped his makeup off for the ninth time deeming it unmanly.
he couldn't help but laugh. he broke character, purposely, but he did nevertheless, and don't think he didn't notice the flash of attraction in your eyes.
never let your guard down in front of a predator, mon cherie.
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𝐄. 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐑
"i swear on the seven you'll have more problems than a poof of blush if you keep testing my patience."
epel felt a chill run down his spine at your words but he stood his ground. he let you do the liner, tousle his hair all nice, and even spray a painfully potent cologne – but he draws the line at that pigmented puff of doom.
"i'm telling ya i'm not wearing that!" he argued back from the other side of the table. the two of you were playing chicken to the amusement of the others who were nearly done with their preparations.
"stop being a big baby!"
"i ain't no baby!"
he flinched back as you narrowed your eyes in a glare. for a moment, he felt sorry that grimm had to live with such a scary person.
"fine. don't wear the blush." you slid the compacted container to his side of the table, raising your hands in surrender.
"let me redo your hair then. it'll fit the look better, baby."
yeah. that's right, you better listen when he — wait, baby?
you pushed him down in the nearest chair, undoing the small ponytail you had before in favor of something else.
epel thought this earlier but your hands did feel amazing as you twirled and pinned his hair. he nearly fell asleep the first time but he knew better than to let down his guard.
"what do you think of this, baby?"
you were teasing him but jeez, why did it make his heart race?
"doesn't matter what i think." he huffed, and you laughed softly at the statement.
"well, i'm no ghost bride with unnaturally specific standards but you look good, baby." this time, you drawled out the pet name, winking, and then leaving him alone to question everything.
in the end he came to the conclusion that he should've just let you put the damn blush on.
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© 2024 — 38riku. Do not copy or repost or plagiarize my work. All Rights Reserved.
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atebyflowers · 16 days
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︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎vampire!reader x ellie williams
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cw: blood drinking, fingering, sub!ellie, angst (?) . . .
thinking about ellie and vampire!reader being dangerously obsessed with eachother . . . from the moment you layed eyes on her, she was all you could think about, all you could dream about tasting. you promised yourself you'd try to stay away from her as much as possible. "only friends" is what you had decided on in your mind if she would even give you the chance . . . which she did. over time, you two drifted towards eachother so naturally. it was impossible, being with her was so easy, every second close to her made it harder to hold back.
and now, here you are ... ellie seated on the edge of your bed as you straddle her — fighting with your senses, and her words. "we can't keep doing this ellie. . . it isn't good for either of us" you told her, hesitant on where to put ur hands — terrified of sending yourself over the edge uncontrollably. "i don't want to live without you" she whispers, your eyes now meeting — the way she looks at you being the worst weakness possible. "i'm not asking you to" you sigh in response before adding on, "i can't live with myself if something happens to you ellie... something because of me".
your tone put knots in her stomach, sometimes all she wished for was to understand you to the fullest — without any differences pulling you apart. "you won't hurt me, i know you won't" she protests, causing you to shake your head in response. "you don't know that and neither do i ... baby im not asking you to live without me we just can't be ... this close" you respond, pushing back off of her lap, trailing towards your dresser as she focuses on your every move, almost as if she was hypnotized. while she hesitates for a moment, ellie slowly stands up and walks towards you — careful with her movement before she speaks. "i want you to feed" she tells through words spoken just above a whisper, her hands gently reaching towards yours, before making their way up your arm and onto your face — cupping it before you can respond. "i can't control it ellie ... what if i hurt you? what if i can't stop? it's not just an addiction to you els... it's one to me too" you question her, eyes almost tearful as you imagine what could possibly go wrong if this continues — ellie, to stubborn to listen.
"you've done it before .. we've done this before .. you're always careful" she reminds you, and it's true. you have done this before, you've tasted her multiple times. but what you hadn't told her, is how deep the addiction was growing. how desperately you craved for her blood some nights. how terrified you were that one day you might not be able to control how far you go. "i don't want to hurt you.." you finally respond, and with those words — she takes the initiative, pressing her lips against yours with slight aggression in an attempt to shut you up... and you listen. it's as tough as it could possibly be without you taking full control, both of your mouths attached as you follow her back onto the bed — ellie, beneath you as always as your hand trails up and down her leg, tongues entwined with soft moans flowing out.
hesitantly, you move from her mouth and down to her neck, ellie instantly getting louder the moment you began to suck on her skin. "y/n... please" she begs, your body and mind knowing exactly what she wants despite previous conversations. "promise me you'll tell me if it hurts. push me off ellie, please don't let me go to far" you're practically begging as well. "ellie" you add on in a more serious matter, and despite her nearly falling apart from your touch — "yes- fuck okay i will baby just please..." she gasps out, with sharp teeth slowly sinking into her skin, a rush turns both of you on as blood drips down your lips and through your cleavage. "God you taste so good" you whine, loud moans mixed with pain and pleasure make their way to your ears — as one of your hands makes its way down her pants, the other caressing her face as you suck her dry.
it's so messy.. your fingers thrusting inside of her while her blood covers both of you.. your mouth switching between her skin, and her lips — which you can't help but bite down on in the process. "i'm s-so close" she whimpers like an overwhelmed puppy, her body soaked underneath you as your fingers reach deeper than they've ever managed to before.. so consumed in the moment. "c'mon baby.. just a little bit more yeah? almost there.." you tell her as you speed up your pace, swearing you can feel her blood running through your veins everytime you swallow. “god, don’t stop please" she begs, her voice trembling with desperation, her nails digging into your hips as you feel her clench around you. a trail of loud whines and mumbled words come out of her as she releases onto your fingers, your teeth slowly making their way out of her skin — ellie lightheaded, barely able to feel them pulling out of her. as your fingers copy your teeth, slowly pulling out of her dripping cunt, you lick the access blood off of her body — careful not to miss a spot before you bring your fingers to your mouth, consuming every part of her you can access.
"you're okay honey.. i got you" you comfort her with soft words, both hands now cupping and caressing her face as she catches her breath and comes back to reality, the wound on her neck stinging in a way that's so painful it's almost addicting. taking notice to the damp tears covering her cheeks and sore lips, you carefully pry away from her and she whimpers from lack of contact. "shh.. it's okay it's okay... jus need to clean you up els" you reassure her, quickly grabbing a towel and first aid kit. you start off by cleaning up her swollen body, before making your way towards her neck — gently cleaning the wound you had left, before covering it with a bandaid. "there .. s'all better" you whisper, and she smiles sweetly as you place a kiss on both the bandaid and her cheek — taking notice to the way she struggles to keep her eyes open, her body worn out. as you pull her into your arms, she almost instantly falls asleep at your touch, soft hands petting her head and sending her into such a natural state of comfort.
watching her sleep was the one thing you looked forward too every time this passed. everytime she let you feed. but this was different. unknown to ellie, this was the last time. a distressing decision made in your head as you drained the blood from her body, struggling to catch yourself as you fell in and out of the struggle to keep going. it was one out of many times you felt genuine fear being so lost amongst her taste. she was so precious... so delicate compared to you... you could never fully reciprocate it no matter how much you tried. no matter how much she thought you could. and so quietly, cautiously, you slip her out of your arms, careful to not wake her as you sit up. with head in your hands for a few moments, your heart burns, but your mind is strict. one last time, you remind yourself before turning to look back at her — placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, tears welling in your eyes alongside a saddened smile. it was destined to happen. you knew you'd never last, and once it started it would have to end eventually if you didn't want to hurt her. but the realization of how deep the connection would be, didn't hit until your last moments near her.. the more you craved her, the firther you had to stray.
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azulpitlane · 10 months
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i wish you would I ln4
pairings: lando norris x reader, exbf! mason mount x reader summary: part two of got love struck notes: kinda dragged making this but finals are finally over so send me some requests pls🤸‍♀️ this ones kinda angsty and there's lots of miscommunication sorry hehe part three, masterlist
yourusername posted a story 2h ago
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The night was full of partying, drinking and dancing as you celebrated your best friend's 23rd birthday. The night quickly turned into a mess when you went to the bar to get everyone more drinks. When you came back your friends were nowhere to be seen, you assumed they were in the dance floor but when you went to check, they weren't there either. To make matters worse, you had put your phone in your friend's purse for safe keeping so you had no way to contact them. The panic quickly sobered you up as you looked everywhere for them but instead you found different a familiar face.
"Mason?"
"Y/n! Hey, I didn't realize you were here."
Your ex-boyfriend went for a hug as he greeted you. You and Mason ended your relationship over a year ago, and though you felt no animosity towards the football player, the breakup had been hard as everybody on the internet seemed to have an opinion on it. It was mutual breakup, you both were in different stages in your life and it just seemed like it wasn't your time.
"Yeah, I was celebrating y/bff/n's birthday with a few other girls, but I have no idea where they are and they have my cell." You were starting to get frustrated as you felt like they left without you.
"Oh no, I would help you look but I'm about to head out. Let me give you a ride home, I would hate for you to be here by yourself."
You knew if somebody saw you and Mason alone it would cause chaos all over again, but you had no other choice at the moment and you just wanted to go to bed. You agreed and as you left you both were oblivious to the cameras taking pictures of you leaving through the back door together.
As you pulled up to your hotel you smiled at Mason and thanked him.
"You're a lifesaver Mase seriously, I don't know what I would've done if I never found them or you."
"You don't have to thank me y/n. I will always look out for you even if we're broken up. I still care for you."
"You're a great friend, I'll always look out for you too."
"And um I have to ask,"
You could tell he was nervous as he scratched the back of his neck and his cheeks flushed slightly.
"What is it Mase?"
"Do you love him?"
You were surprised by the question, not expecting him to bring up Lando.
"Um yeah-yes. I love him so much, I can't even find the words to describe it to be honest. I don't think any song I write can even measure to how strong my love is for him."
"That's good, yeah, that's great. I just, I'm happy you found your person y/n. You know, I thought that person would be me, but if you're happy, than I am too. I guess we just weren't meant to be."
"Mase, you're one of the most amazing people I've met, seriously. I don't think it was ever in the cards for us, but you've taught me so much and you'll always have a special place in my heart. You will find your person one day, I promise."
You smiled at Mason as you spoke, not realizing you had given him the closure he had been needing for a year.
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Lando was freaking out.
He had been sent the article of you and Mason over 5 times already and you hadn't answered your phone in over 2 hours. His mind was reeling as he was thinking about what you could possibly be doing right now. Even though he trusted you more than anything, he couldn't help but let it get to him. Why aren't you answering?
He knew your phone was charged and turned on considering he can still see your location. As he checked it again, he realized you were no longer at the club. You were at someone's apartment. Why weren't you at your hotel? Who's apartment was this?
Before he let himself jump to conclusions, he called y/bff/n knowing you two went out together.
"LANDOOOO! HI."
"Y/bff/n, hey is y/n with you?"
"Y/n? Oh nooooo. Aw I miss her Lan, is she with you?"
"What? No, how could she be with me? I'm in Monaco right now."
"Oh. Then I'm not so sure."
Lando could feel himself getting frustrated as he spoke with the clearly intoxicated girl.
"Okay, did she go home with you? With anyone else?"
"I don't know, you should probably call her or something."
"I did, over 10 times in the past hour."
"Oh maybe she's busy! Let me know how it goes, bye!"
"Wait-"
She hung up. Lando was going to throw up. He was never considered himself as an insecure guy, but he couldn't help but feel there was something going on. He's seen those tweets and comments saying how much everyone loved you and Mason together. What if those comments made you realize they were right? What if you were with Mason right now? Lando wanted to cry, scream and throw up all at once.
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Three loud knocks woke you up from your beauty sleep. You were still in last night's clothes as you were too tired to even change after the nights disaster. You opened the door and your best friend ran in and hugged you.
"Y/N! I'm so so sorry for leaving you all by yourself. I was completely blacked out and I guess I was acting sloppy because y/f/n said we got kicked out of the club! I was acting too drunk and they got mad im so so sorry, this is all my fault and we tried to tell security to get you but they were so mean and-"
"Y/bff/n stop. It's fine, it was your birthday, you deserved to act a little crazy."
"Still babe, I'm sorry. Now that article is being spread like crazy and it's all because of me."
"What are you talking about? What article?"
"Shit. I forgot, here's your phone. But I have to warn you, people saw you leaving the club with Mason last night and the rumors have already begun. Im sorry hun."
Oh god.
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Lando🧡 15 missed calls 5 unread messages
YourPublicist 2 missed calls 1 unread message
Danny Ric🤠 2 unread messages
Y/f/n 8 unread messages
The notifications were endless as you scrolled through your phone but there was only one that you really cared about. You immediately called Lando, afraid he was angry at you for this mess.
"Lan, baby, I'm so sorry for worrying you. I just opened your messages, y/bff/n had my phone all night." You immediately gave him a run down of the night as you knew what it was like to be in his position. The media has circulated so many rumors about your relationship overnight and you knew how hard that was. You had dealt with it all throughout your career and you were heartbroken it was happening to Lando because of you.
"That's weird because I actually called y/bff/n last night and she did not mention she had your phone."
"She was so out of it last night, she probably forgot she even had it. Oh god, she was downing shots I'm honestly not even surprised she got kicked out, she was so crazy-"
"Y/n, you don't understand, I have not slept all night. I was worried and everyone is talking about this. I look like an idiot in this situation."
You knew Lando was going to be upset but after your explanation, you didn't expect for him to still be angry at you.
"I know, the night was a mess, but nothing happened with Mason. He just dropped me off and I'm grateful it was him and not some random taxi."
"You're grateful it was him? You're grateful these pictures are all over the internet?"
"That's not what I meant! I meant he was the safest option at that moment, I had nobody else."
"Yeah. Half of the internet is happy it was him. People are actually celebrating thinking you guys are back together."
"Don't listen to them Lan, me and Mase are never getting back together. People will accept it over time and this will blow over."
"Why are you being so casual about this? Do you even know how I felt last night when you weren't answering. I was going to be sick thinking what you could possibly be doing with him."
"Lan, I told you nothing happened. Why aren't you believing me?"
"This is just all too much." Lando knew he was overreacting a bit. Your story made sense and it all lined up, but he had spent the entire night overthinking and reading the rumors about you two that he couldn't get them out of his mind. He loved you so much and last night made him realize how easily he can lose you and that thought terrified him. You were everything to him, but did you really feel the same way?
"Are you breaking up with me? Seriously? Over a stupid tabloid, I can't believe this." You felt betrayed. Did he not trust you?
"I dont know, it's just hard for me wrap my head around this right now."
"Lan, my flight to Monaco leaves in a few hours, how about we just talk about this in person when our heads are clear?"
Lando was getting angrier as the call went on. He knew his insecurities were getting the best of him right now but he felt like you weren't listening to him. You were trying to brush this off when the whole world was going against you two right now.
"Wow Y/n. My heads pretty fucking clear right now. You know what? Maybe it's best if you don't come, yeah?"
"Yeah, okay."
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one week later
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liked by user 1, user 2, masonmount and 3,593,304 others
yourusername life atm. p.s all new music released from now on is coming from the comfort of my own bed <3
comments on this post have been limited
yourbff love u. coming over rn🏃‍♀️
yourusername pls dont forget snacks
taylorswift need this new album right now
danielricciardo ❤️‍🩹
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liked by user1, user2 and 231,583 others
dailymail Singer Y/n Y/l/n spotted once again with Manchester United star, Mason Mount, leaving a restaurant with a few other football players. Are the two officially back together? Rumors of her breakup with Formula One driver, Lando Norris have been circulating for over a week now after Y/l/n and Mount were seen leaving a club together. Read more on this new love triangle in our article linked in our bio.
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user1 im so excited for this album HAHAHA
user2 team mason idc
user3 funny how the last song she dropped was titled slut, if the shoe fits :)
user4 slut shaming in 2023? disgusting.
user5 i refuse to believe her and lando broke up sorry
user6 delulu is the solulu atp😁
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notes: another cliffhanger!!!🤸‍♀️also this isn't proofread at all my bad heh
tags: @jayrami3 @whoselly @roseseraj @saturnbloom77 @landowecanbewc
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slushycoookie · 3 months
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Put A Ring On It ~ Miguel O'Hara x AFAB! Reader 18+
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★Word Count: 2.6k ★Content: You and Miguel try out some cock rings, praise kink, role switch between you and Mig, oral sex, vaginal penetration ★A/N: Starting off my sex toy series with something "light"! I hope you all enjoy it, took me a lot longer to write this. If you all want to be tagged for next ones, let me know! Dividers by @/rookthornesartistry
Masterlist | Commissions
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You've been staring at him for the past ten minutes.
Miguel noticed right away when you kept idling by the hallway to the living room, wanting to ask him something but proceeded to do anything but that. He was curious but wanted to play the game a little bit longer. So he continued to read his book.
Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore when you approached him, hands behind your back.
“Took you long enough.”
“Be quiet.” You muttered as he chuckled, putting his book to the side so you have his full attention. “I wanted to ask you something…”
“Clearly,” Miguel says, brushing off your glare.
“This is serious.” You're trying to persuade him, even though he would do whatever you ask.
“Okay, well tell me.”
Immediately you show him a bunch of mini packages filled with rings- not the rings worn on the finger. These were of silicone material and in different colors. Miguel immediately knew what these were. “Can we try these out?”
“The cock rings?”
“Yeah! I got a bunch of different sizes. And you're a pretty girthy guy so I gotta make sure they fit.”
Miguel was holding back his ability to blush at how forward you were. He wished you would return to stalking him from the hallway, “If they don't fit, you have to take them back?”
You shake your head, “No, but don't worry about that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Miguel.” You shimmy, getting antsy about not receiving a yes or no answer from him.
“Okay. I guess it's good to test them before we… use them.”
“Yay!” You jump with joy, saying you'll be right back as you suddenly disappear. A silence loomed over him as he wondered what he had gotten into. He didn't have much time to regret if he wanted to as you returned with the rings wrapped in a towel and a bottle of lube.
“Get hard.”
Miguel laughs, “I know we've been married for a few years but I can't just get hard on command.”
“Your little friend says otherwise.” He facepalms at the small imprint in his pants. It was the cock ring talk, that's all.
You sit next to him, ring in one hand and some lube in the other. “Let me know if it gets too tight, okay?
He nods and watches you slick up his length before placing the ring on it. Currently, it was loosely placed around the base of his cock. The ring looked a little funny since you had chosen pink out of all colors.
Miguel didn’t get to laugh about it with you when your lips pressed along his neck. He immediately tilted his head to give you more access. Your soft lips left an invisible mark on his skin. His hand clenched around nothing while the other was on the small of your back. Nostrils take in your natural scent, ready to be absorbed by you.
A tightness formed around his cock. He glanced down at the ring fitting against his shaft and blinked.
“Does that look…bigger to you?”
You look down, “Oh yeah. The website said the rings do that.”
“Ah.” Miguel shifts, trying to tear his eyes away from how big he is. He was usually big but now he's huge.
“Does it hurt?”
He grunts when you run your thumb around the tip, collecting some pre cum. “No. Not at all.”
“Good.” You give him a reassuring kiss but he pulls you in for a deeper one, hand inching down to the curve of your ass. It lasts for a second as you pull away, “Miggy, we got a few more to do.”
“I'm sure they all fit. I trust your judgment.”
You dodge his advances, your index finger on his lips. “You get some after we're done.” He sucks his teeth but obliges, not wanting to ruin your plans. “Now, think of something nasty. You need to soften up again.”
“I don't know what that is.” He rolls his eyes.
“Don't be difficult.” You flick his shoulder, “Remember that time Peter explained to you in detail what Mayday's vomit looked like when she was sick?”
Miguel held his face in his hands, “Please don't remind me-”
“Like I'm talking the color, down to the texture of the vomit.”
“Okay, okay I get it.”
You glance down and he isn't as erect to your satisfaction. So you slip the cock ring off to grab the other one. Another simple ring, in a different color, black, with the same silicone material.
Instead of kissing his neck, your hands go under his shirt, stroking the hairs of his happy trail. He lets out a low groan at your teasing. Your eyes stare back at him with a glimmer of lust. And he knows you'd want to go all the way if you didn’t have a goal in mind.
“You're doing such a good job for me.” Your cooing words unexpectedly make him shiver.
“Don't say that…”
“Say what? The truth?” Your hand glides up to his pectorals, a thumb across his nipple while you still gaze at him. “My wonderful husband is doing a great job trying new things. You don't usually jump to explore new options. I'm proud of you.”
As you speak, your nails drag against his taut muscles. Your other hand gently gripping the curls in his hair. Miguel sighs your name and that familiar tightness comes back around his cock. His shaft stood tall and proud, the ring closed around him perfectly.
“It doesn't hurt right?”
“No.” He takes in a deep breath. Not at the tensity around his length but at the urge to pin you down against the couch. All because you praised him.
You notice his change in demeanor, “You sure? Don't act all tough now.”
“I'm fine.” He insists, “Are we done now?”
“No. We got one more.” You hold up an oddly shaped ring in a dark purple color, “This one has a vibrator attached to it.”
The push to get him to soften his cock works as you take the ring off, replacing it with the one that vibrates. He notices your face light up with excitement and he wanted to grab the back of your neck, wrap your pretty lips around his dick. Coat it with your saliva as it presses against the back of your throat. Almost making you gag if you weren't an expert in sucking him off. God, he hoped you would let him get what he wants.
You didn't need to do anything this time. His cock raised once again while his mind filled with obscene thoughts of you. Grabbing and fucking up into you in desperation. Feeling your wet cunt easily take him in as you beg for him to not stop.
“What are you thinking about?” You ask with a smirk.
Miguel gazes at you with hunger in his eyes, “Thinking about fucking you.”
“We’re not done yet…” That excuse falls on deaf ears when he reaches over to grab you. A shriek escapes your lips as you're now trapped under his arms, flushed along his chest.
“We are. You said this is the last one.”
“I did-”
“Then why can't I fuck my beautiful wife?”
“I didn't say you couldn't-”
“So let me.” A talon comes out, gently pricking your lower back. He grins at your back arching a little when he hits your favorite spot. Your hands digging into his shirt. “You don't want me to rip off your clothes, hm?”
You squirm, escaping his hold to shirk off your jeans and underwear. Before you took your rightful place, you grabbed a little remote and turned on the cock ring. The vibrations were sending a pleasant feeling along his shaft but it wasn’t enough to send him over the edge.
He smelled your arousal wafting in the air, getting him harder if possible. Miguel beckons you on top with the look in his eyes. So you oblige, smearing more lube on his dick before sinking yourself.
“Ooh…” Your walls involuntary squeeze him once the vibrator hits your clit.
“That's it…” He lets out a shaky breath, hands on your sides. “That's it, baby.”
Miguel thrusts up into you, your hands on his shoulders. The vibrating ring makes you whimper, forcing him to grip your sides with restraint. You sounded so pretty for him with a twinge of desperation. The lazy rise of your hips before you sunk back down was driving him insane. He unknowingly held his breath while watching you.
“You like that? Does that feel good?” Your nod fell short as you cried out from another thrust.
“M-Miguel...”
“I got you.”
With his occasional thrusts and the ring still vibrating on your sex, your breathing was getting heavier. Faster. He knew you were close as he rolled his hips into you. Making you incoherent. Unable to get back that pleasant, dominant aura you radiated. Now, you were at his mercy. He felt you trying to pull away, to escape the impending doom of your climax. Instead, Miguel held you close to him for your release. When you cried into his shoulder, your walls molded around him perfectly. He held the nape of your neck, keeping you still as he thrust up into you. Shaking your entire body with his actions. For his cum to coat your walls and the vibrating ring.
A sticky mess pooled between both of your thighs. The two of you holding each other to come down from your high. You didn’t say anything, but Miguel knew you were going to get back at him later.
✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・
“Please, I’ve been good…” He said while on his knees, hugging your exposed leg as that was the only thing he could do without facing your wrath.
“Have you?” You were unfazed, scrolling your phone as if it was more important than him groveling.
“Yes. I don’t know how long I can take of this, mi ángel.”
“You sure?” Now, you were looking at him, a slight tilt to your head. “I thought you were fine when we made out in your lab earlier.”
Miguel huffed at the memory. All day, you were teasing him. Stroking his dick during your morning shower. Sticking your tongue in his mouth before he left for work and back to his lab. Where you wrapped your legs around him while sitting on one of his consoles. Grinding your hips against his hardened length, with the intent of making him cum under his suit. Only for you to stop, saying you didn’t want to distract him from work. He was in desperate need of you or else he was going to explode.
“I was-am fine.” He swallowed, “But it’s been a long day and I need…” Miguel travels up your bare thigh, feeling the fatty part of your body while looking at you.
“Say it.”
“I need you. Please.” He kisses the palm of your hand when you cradle his cheek and you take mercy on him.
“Okay. You did do well in holding out for me today.”
Miguel can already feel himself getting hard from your praise when he stands to coat your face in kisses. Each filled with relief and gratitude. He doesn’t take over just yet, unsure if you were going to switch things up for him at the last minute. Which you do when your hands gently push at his chest to get him to stop.
“You think you can be good for another twenty minutes?”
He nods with fervor, “Yes, yes I can.”
You kiss his lips to thank him before telling him to stay by the kitchen counter. You disappear for a moment, coming back with the signature bottle of lube and one of the cock rings. When your lips combine, Miguel moans against them, in need for any type of contact. He feels your fingertips glide along his forearm to his watch, pressing a few buttons to reveal his semi-erect cock. Inches from his face, you swiftly coat him with lube, putting the ring around his shaft.
“Don’t cum until I say so.”
Miguel doesn’t trust his voice so he hopes his nod is enough. A knot forms in his chest when you slide down, your lips leaving a wet trail down to his cock. You gaze at his shaft with intrigue, it being hard and ready for you. “Don’t choke.”
“I won’t.” You flash him a look of appreciation before wrapping your lips around him. A shudder escapes him and he grips the counter for dear life. Not focusing on how warm your mouth felt. How easily you were vigorously sucking him off, careful to not slip the ring off and catch in your mouth. He shuts his eyes, trying to focus on not orgasming until you say.
“Look at me.”
It took all the willpower he had to not cum when he looked at you. A mixture of saliva and lube on your face creates a mess. But you didn’t care when you took him in again, moaning amongst his shaft. Eyes locked with his own. So you could see his face twisted in undeniable pleasure. He wasn’t sure if he was going to last five minutes. His body ached for release, but he wasn’t going to defy you again.
Miguel took deep breaths to stabilize himself. The need to coat your mouth with his seed lessened and he kept his self-control. He wasn’t sure how many minutes passed since you started, but suddenly you pulled away with a wet pop. Wiping off your drool with the back of your hand. He honed on your frame as you stood, slowly removing your panties. Only leaving you in the oversized shirt, his shirt while bending over the counter. The shape of your wonderful ass in his view.
He didn’t move. He wasn’t sure if this was another play at him.
You look behind you, wiggling your ass a little. “Come on, big guy.”
Miguel was on you instantly.
With one swift motion, he entered you, letting out a loud groan at how soaked you were. His large hands grab your hips, making sure you don't move an inch. His thrusts were rough, a bit out of sync. He was too absorbed in finally fucking you the way he wanted all day. Hearing you squeal and moan underneath him while railing you to submission.
“Ooh right there…” He notices your back arch when he pounds into that sweet spot, your feet dangling in the air when he lifts you. The palm of his hand sprawled across your stomach while the other was so close to breaking the countertop.
His balls clenched, almost tipping over in his relief. But you haven't told him if he could come yet.
“C-Can I?” He grits his teeth, still trying to hold back for your permission.
“Yes-oh!”
Miguel presses you flat on the counter, a final thrust before he releases inside you. An intense orgasm that causes him to be more vocal, whimpering and groaning in your ear. Slow thrusts inside to get as much stimulation as he can before pressing along your head. Your sweaty scent and arousal linger in the air.
When he slipped out, he took the ring off before giving it back to you. He didn’t make eye contact, knowing the smug look you'd have on your face when he asked, “Can we go again tomorrow?”
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