coe308

[coe308]

Your daily dose of cat memes

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Tell me who your favorite batfam member is and whether you're an eldest, middle, youngest, or only child.

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Do you have any theories as to why Tim is stuck as forever 17?

Vicky Vale: Our viewers can't help but notice that Tim is still 17. Care to explain?

Damian: He spawned like that.

Alfred: It's a family recipe.

Steph: He just has a really good skincare routine.

Cass: He is a vampire.

Duke: Editorial keeps retconning him.

Jason: He "fell" into the Fountain of Youth.

Selina: This is his sixth life.

Barbara: There's a bug in his code.

Dick: Every time he turns 18 he reverts like a jellyfish.

Kate: He said he doesn't feel like it and I don't blame him.

Bruce: He's 17 again?! Tim, I told you to stop doing that!

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Spoiler makes a routine stop on her patrol to stop a mugger, but when she gets to the alley floor the victim, a black haired goth girl, shoots him with some kind of green energy gun and it catches both of them off guard.

Spoiler, still in superhero landing pose: 😮

Sam, caught with a gun in her hands: 😬

Spoiler: is that a Lazer gun??!

Sam: you know I don't actually know...

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DPXDC Scandal Family

We all know about Brucie Wayne and his endless supply of poorly adjusted children, but a new billionaire family is taking the tabloids by storm- The Masters Brood.

Entrepreneurial billionaire and super fan of the Green Bay Packers, Vlad Masters recently adopted the children of his late college classmates, Madelyn and Jack Fenton in the wake of their tragic deaths. Two daughters and two sons, the oldest named Jasmine and the other three oddly named Dan, Danny and Danielle- the children have caused multiple scenes in public, from brawling with each other to harassing their adoptive father in public.

Masters himself only seems all too amused with the antics and often participates in the more harmless acts of tomfoolery like sneaking stickers onto the back of guests' heads and making light work of refreshment tables.

In the face of this new found family, will Brucie Wayne and his children be able to maintain their title as America's weirdest billionaires, or will that status be swept out from beneath them?

-

Looking grimly at the screen of his laptop, Dick Grayson considers his options. "Looks like we're really going to have to step up our game- hey Jason! How do you feel about coming back to legal life?"

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Got sent an unwanted d-pic today. Responded with this:

Thought y’all would appreciate this so..

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DC Ao3 fic recs

Smut - no emoji

No smut - 🚫

Fluff - ✨

Angst - 🖤

Dark content -❗️ (noncon elements)

Personal favorites - 💕

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

my masterlist

Ao3 fic rec masterlist

Updated: 8/4/23

Dick Grayson/Nightwing

Mania

Court Order

Efficiency

Jason Todd/Red Hood

Same man, New guy

Red Hood takes the winning prize ❗️

Experimental

give me your vengeance. ❗️

CHANGE. - Jason Todd x fem! reader

TREAT YOU RIGHT

Unholy Confessions 💕❗️

Chanced

win some, lose some. 💕

Pseudo-incest with Jason Todd series 💕

Specific favs from that series listed below:

Website of Iniquity

Whimpers

Working Out A Sweat

Put Your Helmet On

Blushes

Still Blushing

Jason’s Lessons

Baby Bird - Rewrite

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“he’d probably burst into flames with so much goodness inside him but that’s alright. at least he’d keep you warm.” Is such a raw emotional quote, to the point where it’s really hard to believe I found it in a smut. Like that’s the shit you would expect from Shakespeare not a smut from Tumblr

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Okay so Danny gets adopted by Bruce. Yeah? Yeah.

And they don't know about his powers? Obviously. We know this part of the story.

BUT. On a casual trip out for food or whatever, Danny and some of the bat sibs get cornerd by reporters and paparazzi. There panicking bec danny JUST got here and they haven't had time to breif him on how to interact with the media and he's totally gonna flounder and they need to help him before he totally flubs it!

Exept, he doesn't. He smiles, nice and bright, into the camra. He waits patiently for each reporter to ask their questions and then answers confidently, giving them something walst acctually answering nothing. "Where are you from?" "A small town, I'm sure you wouldn't know it but, really, it's about where I am now."How did you come to be adopted by bruce?"Well, I look quite a bit like my new brothers, don't you think? Haha. I like to think it was meant to be."

And on and on he gose, dancing around them, shareing professionally worded jokes and calmly addressing eatch person as they viyed for his attention, controlling the flow of conversation.

The bat kids all look at eatchother.

This kids been media trained.

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It's funny how easy it is to push Dick away as a happy-go-lucky sunshine and rainbows and unicorns man when he's really the angriest member of the whole Batfam.

Like, it took Jason 15 years and a reasonable cause.

Dickie was ready to murder a bitch at 8.

This boy arrived at the manor with nothing but a simple suitcase, a toy elephant, sass, and 500 pounds of spiteful anger.

And the only thing that's changed now is the suitcase.

@sardonic-sprite

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Gotta teach em young

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The US government when multiple of their servers has been hacked and they can't find a trace of who's doing it: What is going on!?

Tucker, literally in an internet cafe sipping on some milk with what little money he had on him: Haha, lol.

---

Lex Luthor when he's told that multiple of his servers has been hacked and put into disorder with seemingly no purpose: Find whoever this is, immediately!

Eve Teschmacher: Sir, our best is unable to find whoever hacked into our servers, in fact, our attempts to stop, build up defenses or force them out, have only been met with more, chaotic files.

Lex Luthor, banging his fist on the table: What do I pay them for!? Find them immediately!

Tucker, literally in an internet cafe a few blocks away from the Lexcorp building: Get gud noobs!

---

Oracle, when her servers has been hacked by an unknown: Raises eyebrow

Oracle, when said unknown begins to mess around in her servers and basically goads her into trying them: Oh it's on.

Oracle, when she conveniently hacks into said unknown's coordinates and finds it leading to an internet cafe, to which it then gets fizzled out by the unknown: Hm. I should tell someone.

Also Oracle: However.

Tucker, chugging down his milk and booting it from the internet cafe while disconnecting from Oracle's servers and sending multiple signals to hopefully take her off his trails: shit shit shit shitshitshitshitshitshit

---

The Justice League, after noticing that Mount Justice is currently being hacked in the middle of a debriefing:

Batman and Robin fighting against the hacker, with the new addition of Oracle who just, appeared out of nowhere: Oh, I know this guy!

Batman, narrowing his eyes: Explain.

Oracle, refusing to explain but instead manages to snag the unknown's current whereabouts while simultaneously wiping said whereabouts before the unknown (Who is currently distracted by Robin and Batman) could notice, while also downloading said location to Batman's suit all at once: I think they can do that for you.

Batman, relents and flows away from the computer and walks away from the Young Justice team: Superman, with me. Red Tornado, continue the debriefing.

Tucker, currently in an internet cafe sipping on boba after acquiring some money, chewing and furiously tapping away at his PDA: ...I may have bitten off more than I can chew, here.

Tucker, looking up when someone sat down in relatively hidden (and by that he means square in the corner) booth and choking on his boba to see the Batman and Superman sitting across from his casually:

Batman, when the unknown he was looking for was literally a 14-year-old currently staring at the both of them in shock with a PDA held together by a mass amount of tape, determination and probable hope: Narrows eyes and stares at Superman.

Superman, currently ordering off of the menu: Raises hands with an innocent expression What? We're at a cafe, might as well?

Batman, staring at him for a solid few minutes, before also ordering something off of the menu:

Tucker, currently experiencing his life flashing before his eyes, but trying to play it off: Sips Boba.

(For your information by the way, Tucker got thrown to the DC universe and basically became a little shit by hacking into multiple places for literally no reason other than to have fun and fuck with people.)

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people acting like dick would struggle to pick up/carry jason as if he can’t easily lift a grown man with one hand

everyone talks about bruce working out so he can still pick up his kids (mainly jason bc he’s the tallest and bulkiest) but no one talks about how dick could very likely pick up and carry bruce with little to no strain. in fact, bro could probably carry bruce and jason (with some effort)

like dick is way stronger than people think, just because he’s built like a gymnast and not a body builder. bro once supported over a thousand fucking pounds of rubble in order to save people from a burning building !!

anyway just. ranting about dick grayson as always

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Danny*getting Vlad flash backs* No✨

Seeing the gaggle of Wayne wards, Danny came to a conclusion that horrified him. He turned to his clone, tucked her arms to her side, threw her onto his shoulder, and booked it out of there.

"Danny," she squawked.

"Do you want to be adopted by a billionaire?"

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Dick: I'm so sorry. Your brother... he's-he's... dead

Jazz goes over and kicks her brother: get up, you're freaking people out

Danny rolls over: 5 more minutes

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Tim: You know archaic Latin? Jason: I got bored with classical Latin. Tim: You know normal Latin? Jason: Yeah someone from my knitting club taught me. Tim: YOU HAVE A KNITTING CLUB? Jason: You don't know everything about me Replacement. Now do you want a sweater or a scarf?

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capes for are losers > capes are for losers

yes i could fix it, no i will not. the sa sa le le energy stays