#( damien headcanons. )

[cobbleztone]

I have seen too many posts of Bruce being a tired old man who understands nothing his kids talk about, but im tired of that crap, Bruce is definitely autistic and he learns everything there is to know about what his kids enjoy so he can bond with them

Dick is into dinosaurs? Bruce now knows more than any paleontologist on earth.

Jay is really into a specific book series? Bruce has now read all the books, watched all film adaptations, and he has spent countless nights theorizing about it.

Tim is into skateboarding? Bruce is now a professional skateboarder and knows how to make a board at home.

Damien is into animals? Well, Bruce just got himself a PhD in zoology

Duke is into chess? Well Bruce is now an expert in chess

Cass is into dancing? Bruce has learned every form of dance in existence

And if you thought he only does this for his legal children, then you thought wrong

Bruce learns that Barbara is into fantasy rpgs? Well, Bruce just learned all about fantasy games

Stephanie is into cooking? Bruce now knows every recipe in existence

They all find it odd but weirdly endearing that he knows so much about what they all enjoy

[mayors-vist]

No ego escapes the tattoos:)

His suit sleevew cover it up 99% of the time.

[washa]

pov the friendsgiving audio as redacted memes (Which is mostly me making fun of Damien's misery!)

A lil bonus one.

[pycth]

I miss them, your honor—

Unfortunately there weren’t enough to add Huxley and Coworker, so let’s just say they were their bail LMAO

I hope we at least get a DAMN Crew Halloween video of some kind, honestly I just want my boys and Freelancer (+Coworker, hopefully)— a crumb, if you will 🤲 I’ve got all my fingers crossed for anything atp

Also as a heads up, since I’ll be working on Imperium stuff for most of October it’s gonna be mainly focusing on the DAMN Crew versions of the AU (aside from inbox doodles ofc) I’ve got a good handful of stuff I’m real excited to share soon 👀

The original:

[bruciemilf]

Okay, but Battinson acquiring kids is so funny because he somehow looks the youngest out of them all, except for Damian and Cassandra???

Jason and Dick are taller than him, so everyone they come across think he's their younger brother

This is just my need to see people's (mostly JL) reaction to Bruce calling that 6'3 tank who smells like bullets and smoky leather " baby" and scolding him for not staying put when Bruce tries polishing his red helmet

[aimedis]

redacted asmr headcanons

-when lovely cried around sam for the first time he didn’t know how to react but he was honoured that they felt comfortable enough to be so vulnerable around him

-lovely used to look up to william a lot, when they first turned they went to him for reassurance a lot

-william gave lovely the biggest hug after they turned and he just let them cry into his chest for hours

-william's favourites are vincent & lovely (canon)

-sweetheart says it’s ironic that milo calls them sweetheart when he’s the sweetest person they’ve ever met (milo and sweetheart have arguments about who’s sweeter)

-damien’s singing voice is angelic and so is freelancer’s (they sing the best duets)

-sweetheart tells milo “don’t touch me i have a boyfriend” when they’re bored and milo threatens to beat him (the boyfriend) up

-when freelancer gets into a bad mood they can be worse than damien when he’s in a bad mood (they get pissed off at everything and everyone, even cussing out gavin)

-angel has four brothers (one older, three younger) and they bring out an aggressive side to them that no one else sees from them (angel whenever one of their brothers speak: “can you literally shut the fuck up?”)

-milo and darlin' make fun of each other’s trauma (milo: “that’s why your dad doesn’t fucking love you” darlin': “your dad doesn’t love you either, hoe”)

-darlin’ tried to convince themself to be mad at sam after david confronted them but they literally could not stay mad at him

-milo would call sweetheart "baby girl" (regardless of gender)

-sweetheart calls milo “handsome”

-angel likes to straddle david, like sitting on his hips with their hands on his chest and david likes it too

[empydoc]

i wish i didn't have to articulate my thoughts everytime i have them because wdym i can't just make a post saying 'i think a majority of the boys have long/mid-length hair' and leave it at that

gotta make it real complicated. jesus.

anyway. long hair redacted boys hcs

vincent runs his hand through his hair a lot more than he realises- usually as a nervous habit than anything. whenever lovely does it, he visibly relaxes.

darlin sometimes holds sam's face in their hands and his hair frames his face so nicely that they wish they could look at him like that forever.

huxley's hair getting in his face vs damien always telling him to tie it back (he ends up doing it himself- something huxley doesn't complain about)

blake pulling at his hair when he's especially stressed + those grey hairs that peek out at him when he looks at his reflection.

freelancer playing idly with gavin's hair when they're in bed, especially after doing something together. he's recently started to lean his head towards them sometimes as a silent ask for them to play it.

avior insisting that his hair is fine until starlight starts helping him manage it and keep it little less all over the place. he now sits in front of them sometimes and asks if they can make sure his hair looks okay.

asher constantly begging babe about using their new expensive shampoo (they're a 50/50 in saying either yes or no).

[desmorotu]

random redacted headcanons :3 ⭐️

- Geordi has read the harry potter series three times and when Cutie does something that aligns with their house he points it out in his mind. Cutie responds with a sideways glare LMAO (speaking of Geordi, i miss that guy:( i was listening to his playlist earlier today)

- Guy plants little love notes all around his and Honey’s apartment for them to find. he pretends he doesn’t know that they keep every single one and reads them often.

- Asher is on the super possessive side when it comes to Baaabe. he just hides it because he feels embarrassed by it.

- David still thinks about Angel’s cat and secretly wishes they were able to take it when they had the chance (“if we keep it it’s your cat, not mine” my ass)

- Milo breaks into dance randomly. with no music. in public or in private, it does not matter. he will think of a song in his head and bust a move.

- Damien is desperately trying to get Huxley into Resident Evil

- Damien loves Leon Kennedy just as much as the next guy, but his favorite character is Luis :3

- Lasko has his nipples pierced. idk it just seems like something he’d do

- Gavin walks around without pants often. Freelancer has had to tell him on multiple occasions to put pants on when the guys are over. he, in true Magnus Bane fashion, likes wearing a formal button down + blazer combo with no pants (he actually pulls it off surprisingly well) ((he IS wearing underwear))

- Huxley collects chapsticks. i’m not elaborating.

- if Hush was an aquatic creature, he would be a mako shark :3

- Sam has Kiss’ entire discography. he grew up listening to them over the years and it reminds him how far he had come in life

- Vincent sometimes dresses up for the hell of it, crown and all, and makes Lovely dress up with him and takes pictures. it has to be a VERY specific kind of mood and a very specific kind of day.

- William and the other elder vampires like David Bowie…those are just the vibes i get

- Caelum loves throwing dance parties with Gavin and Freelancer. they have never turned him down. when an “inappropriate” song comes on, Caelum sits with his mouth wide open and giggles to himself in disbelief. (“they said too many bad words…execute them” - caelum probably)

these are just random and stupid and they made me giggle

k bye 💟

[essbi24]

fl on anesthesia

- thinks them and gavin are married, keeps calling him their husband

- tells lasko how smart he looks repeatedly, apparently they think he’s “a president”

- won’t stop touching damien’s face, and telling him how he looks like a prince

- keeps making a punching motion at damien’s face too, everytime he tries to stop them from leaning over..or really anytime he looks at them for more than a second lol

- repeatedly tells huxley how much they love him and won’t stop saying “what’s up bro” and dapping him up every single time they look at him

- stared at lasko for 4 minutes straight

- someone please stop them from comparing their muscles to huxley’s and flexing dude lmfao

- won’t stop saying “where’s caelum?” lol the rest of the boys assume they’re just saying a random name but ofc gavin knows and just keeps holding his laugh in

[sheawritesstuff]

Redacted Things I Think About Often

✩ I know Caelum is probably about the size of a short adult person, but I like imagining him tiny enough to carry around in one of those cat dome backpacks so he can go on adventures with Freelancer and Gavin without them worrying about him causing trouble

✩ What if the yandere caller is a stealth and that’s how he got in the house with all the doors still locked??

✩ Huxley during bulking season and Damien’s reaction to said bulk

✩If Asher and David weren’t getting married at the same time, Ash would absolutely come out in a wedding dress to prank David before his and Angel’s wedding

✩ Darlin and Smartass calling their partners “Old Man[affectionate]”

✩ Hush said he’s been reading about humans. Is he just popping into the public library and doing his research there? Is he going online? Does he even know how to use a computer??

✩ Guy staying up late after he gets off work to get some writing done

✩ Several characters have mentioned “Jesus Christ” -more in an expletive way, but it’s still his name- so Christianity is a canon part of the universe. Do you think there’s a version of the bible that explains how empowered people got their powers? Is Jesus a vampire?? Or a shade?? Or a secret third thing??

✩ Brian - he deserved better

[cobbleztone]

Dick Grayson grew up in a circus until he was like 10, so he should absolutely know circus tricks and just does them at random.

Jason walks in on him eating a sword he took from a League assassin

He teaches the other bats how to do the clown car trick

Steph is having a bad day, and he just pulls out an endless line of rainbow tissues (after a bit, they come out in pride flag colors)

Damien makes a throat slice hand sign, and Dick perfectly mimes a sliced throat to Damien's amusement and everyone else's horror

[anexistingexistence]

[Gives gift for no reason other than "I love you"] - Darlin'/David/Asher/Vincent/Gavin/Huxley/Lasko/Doc

"But I didn't do anything to deserve this" - Sam/Angel/Baabe/Lovely/Freelancer/Damien/Lasko's partner/Hush

[tumbletaker]

”And if you need to be mean…”

David, Damien, Vega, Blake, Quinn, Honey

“..Be mean to me”

Angel, Freelancer, Sunshine, Darlin, Guy

[teafairywithabook]

More Random HCs

Avior doesn’t trust birds. Oh they’re very pretty but they’re flappy and unpredictable.

Sam was on the debate team at D.A.M.N. 

So is Damien.

David isn’t ticklish, apart from one specific spot only Angel and Asher know. And they’re not telling.

Anton has a record player. He has bluetooth speakers all around his house and loves music on his headphones but the record player is his favorite.

Hush can sit very still and exude total calm to make lil bugs come to him. He’s like a creepy Disney Princess.

Blake is a sucker for cheesy romance films. Really sappy ones that make him ugly cry.

[nerodivergentgrimreaper]

More Random Redacted Headcanons 

Damian was only allowed to watch PBS kids growing up 

Asher constantly compares Milo and Sweetheart’s relationship to lady and the tramp

James wears a silicone wedding band on his hands and he wears the actual ring on a chain 

Smartass is the oldest sibling by a significant age gap 

Freelancer and Lasko both cried when they met Huxleys mom’s for the first time because they gave them warm mom hugs 

Elliot taps his fingers when he’s nervous 

Sweetheart used to smoke but stopped right after they met Milo 

Babe hates the taste of coffee 

Damien has a severe peanut allergy 

Huxley gave up peanut butter when he moved in with Damien because he decided Damien’s safety is more important than his love of PB and J’s 

Guy can play Riptide on the ukulele 

Lasko’s listener love to doze off in the car if they aren’t the one driving 

Tank accidentally picked up a bunch of languages and that knowledge has gotten them out of a pinch multiple times 

Gavin is currently trying to teach Freelancer how to roller skate 

Sweetheart’s original plan wasn’t to work for the department but after life got in the way it was one of their only options 

David bought a motorcycle right before his dad’s accident but after everything happened he sold it 

Babe grew up in a sad beige household 

Sweetheart was a wild child in highschool but they mellowed out once they got to college 

Honey loves peeps marshmallows and Guy thinks its the cutest thing 

Asher, Tank, and Sweetheart share a mutual love of Lady Gaga and early 2000’s club music 

Milo and Damien also listen to Lady gaga but not with other people  

Tank knows all the words to all of Kesha’s early music 

Angel watches keeping up with that Kardashians and David secretly finds it interesting 

[prince-damien-of-darkness]

Y'all

I just thought of a funny ship name for Damien and Huxley

Wildfire