#Cdd

[pocket-userboxes]

This host is...

a dead [girl/boy] walking

[requested by anon]

Likes and reblogs are very appreciated!

This blog is anti endo. Endogenics and supporters, please respect our boundaries and seek out a pro-endo userbox account instead of this one.

Image sources

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[candyrain-collective]

a comic about my experience with other people's perception of my DID/OSDD. might do more pages in the future? we'll see.

[disabirbity]

One of the main problems around people with personality disorders (particularly cluster B), psychotic disorders, OSDD/DID/other CDDs or other stigmatised mental conditions is, well... Everything we do gets put back onto our disorder. Every fault, every misstep, every mistake is used as proof to say that the stigma of us all being horrible people is right.

We can say "not everyone with x disorder harms people, and in fact we're more likely to BE harmed and abused than we are to hurt others" as much as we like--and of course, that's a true statement. But the moment someone with a stigmatised mental illness does something wrong, it's "of course you'd do xyz, you're a narcissist" or "checks out with the psychosis".

Someone with ASPD could cut someone off for any valid reason, but anyone else could spin it into "yeah, that's sociopaths for you". Someone with psychosis could wrongfully accuse someone of something and without being given a chance to apologise, suddenly it's "this is why we don't trust delusional people like you" and you're discredited from here on out. Someone with DID could genuinely forget that their alter had an argument with someone and be trying to sort it out, but no one wants to hear that something was forgotten in the amnesia, so and all they get is "see, people with DID just blame everything on their alters".

People with stigmatised disorders are just like anyone else. They're not evil or uniquely capable of harm, but that also means they're not incapable of making mistakes. Everyone is entitled to their own limits but I think people need to be more aware that disabled people can make genuine mistakes and one slip up or argument doesn't mean that pwNPD is secretly manipulating you. Sometimes people are manipulative and you need to be able to tell the difference--just like neurotypicals, disabled people can be abusive. But blaming mistakes or even genuine malice on someone's disorder does nothing but harm a marginalised group of people. If you wouldn't say "of course you would, you're neurotypical" to someone abusing someone else or if that wouldn't make sense to you, why would you do it to disabled people?

[botanical-garden-system]

Whenever I see someone saying they “wish they were a system,” I don’t think: “Oh how DARE they try to mock this shit that debilitates me every day!”

I think, “I wonder what in this world could make them feel like they need to have multiple voices in their head.” I think, “Are they lonely..? Did they even have any friends whilst growing up..? Were they neglected..?”

I understand because I also felt this way as a little kid, elementary school age (5-10). **I** wanted to be less alone as a kid, so I created imaginary characters that began to separate and distinguish themselves from one another. While yes, I had some major events of trauma, my trauma was what I thought as “monotonous” or “insignificant.” I just wanted someone to talk to, someone to confide in. I didn’t feel safe telling an adult what I went through, so it was stored in another alter.

You guys are so quick to jump at someone you have no information on in any way. You don’t know how educated this person is on the complexities of DID, and you don’t know what the person went through at all.

Please stop being so harsh and aggressive towards people figuring themselves out.. you would want that grace too..

[thefluxsystem]

You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?

The emotional amnesia.

Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.

You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.

It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?

And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.

[pplatonic]

about a cofront today

[reimeichan]

"I'm okay with you having DID, I just don't want to talk to or meet any of your alters."

I'm an alter too, you know. Every single time you've interacted with me, I'm an alter. Even before you knew I had DID, even before I knew I had DID, we've been speaking to each other as various different alters. To ask to only interface with one singular version of me because you find the other versions of me uncomfortable to be around is hurtful.

We have little to no control over who's fronting at any particular time. We switch a lot, that's the nature of my system. Even we don't know who's fronting all the time, not least because we're discovering new parts still all these years later.

And, ultimately, they're all me. If you've only met one version of me and like that one version of me, do you truly like me? If you've only ever gotten to know me in that particular mode, how well do you actually know me? How can you say you love me when there's all these other me's that you cast aside and ignore?

You can't say you're okay with my DID but then ask to never get to know my alters. Because, ultimately, that means you never get to know me. And that means you're not okay with my DID- or with me.

[abadbutsadcollective]

Traumagenic and endogenic headmates aren't enemies by the way. Sometimes they play Minecraft together. Sometimes they hold hands. Sometimes they kiss. Sometimes they cover work shifts or school for each other. Sometimes even within the same system. This goes for disordered and nondisordered systems too btw.

[stxrsys]

And maybe this is a cold take but you guys need to really stop checking things that upset you/insult you/make you feel not real. Stop checking r/syscringe. Stop checking syscourse tags. Stop interacting with things that hurt your mental health more. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. And it won’t get better just because you keep checking back on it.

[the-io-collective]

do not post your triggers, cues, programs, any of that shit on tumblr dot com. point blank period. do not just hand that info to people who may want to hurt you.

i am not saying this to fearmonger. don't put that shit on a public blog.

[pocket-userboxes]

This system

is scared of feeling like theyre back in a time loop again

[requested by anon]

Likes and reblogs are very appreciated!

This blog is anti endo. Endogenics and supporters, please respect our boundaries and seek out a pro-endo userbox account instead of this one.

Image sources

1 2 3 4

[plurapony]

what if we just started treating fakeclaimers like creepy old men. how about that.

like helloooo why are you trying to figure out if bad things happened to me as a child??? why do you want to know about the results of how my childhood affected me???? ummmm that's kinda weird ngl.

[blooming-foliage]

apparently theres 5 threat responses documented now!

from a trauma & dissociation workbook page our therapist shared

[botanical-garden-system]

Hey, it’s not your fault. You were just a kid. You may still BE a kid. But I know a few things for certain:

You didn’t ask to be born into this world.

You didn’t ask to be treated the way that you were treated—whether it was by bullies, parents, or other family members.

You didn’t ask to “be a burden” to your caregivers, you deserved that space to be loved and safe

You didn’t ask for your consent to be broken.

You didn’t ask for the shame and guilt someone put you through.

You aren’t bad for something happening to you. You aren’t your trauma.

I’m sorry if you were ever made to feel that way, and I know that may never mean much coming from a stranger, but I know it’s something I wish I heard more.

[deltoradecay]

System culture is filling out those alignment chart memes people use for characters/ocs/etc but for your headmates instead.