#Damian and Jason are brothers

[addictedapple]

I drew one of the endnotes from my fanfic, Jason Todd: Regular College Student. It took me way too long…

[addictedapple]

I love everything about this

Baby Damian (and Jason)

[ineveryfandom]

bruce and dick, father and son? classic. batman and robin, partners in justice? exciting. bruce and dick, brothers with a huge age gap? more likely than you think.

-

Jason: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce, patting his back: it’s alright son, let’s play again

Dick: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce: that’s for calling me old

Dick, screaming at Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?!

Duke, new to the fam, very concerned: what’s happening?

Tim: you don’t wanna know

Duke, nervous: …is it something really bad?

Tim, gravely: yes

Dick, shaking Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DRINK MY SMOOTHIE?!

Duke:

Alfred: *pointedly looking at the broken window*

Bruce: dick did it

Dick, in space, on call with Alfred: i wasn’t even anywhere NEAR there

Cass: fuck!

Bruce: language

Steph: let my girl say fuck

Bruce: language.

TV playing in the background: ..nd SCORE! unfortunately, the Gotham Guardsmen have lost to Metropolis Metros once m—

Dick, from the couch: motherfUCKER

Bruce, angrily: metropolis BASTARDS

Cass:

Cass: not fair >:[

In a restaurant

Barbara: dick can you pass me the salt

Dick, with headphones on, not hearing her:

Barbara: dick? dick. dick!

Bruce: ill get it

Bruce: *reaches for the salt near dick’s plate*

Dick: *suddenly has his arms around his food, his fork clattering to the ground, their drinks spilling everywhere*

Bruce:

Dick:

Barbara:

Dick: ...in my defense these are some real good nachos

Dick: *waltzes inside bruce’s room, not saying anything*

Bruce: ...?

Dick: *looks at the pictures on the walls*

Bruce: can i help you??

Dick: *checks himself out in the mirror*

Bruce: please do that in your own room

Dick: *turns on the lights and rummages in the drawers*

Bruce: i already ate all the snacks there

Dick: *leaves* *doesn’t close the door*

Bruce:

Damian, also in the room:

Damian, in realization: jason got it from him

[prlssprfctn]

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

[red-replacement]

jason: why are you looking at me like that?

damian, age 4, wondering why jason looks white if he's his brother: you're colored wrong

jason: what the fuck?

[addictedapple]

Yes.

Batfam AU

Damian was captured by some villain, and Dick just saved him.

Nightwing: Why didn't you send a distress signal? You could have gotten hurt. What if I didn't get here in time?

Robin: tt, stop your incessant nagging, Grayson. I can handle myself. Besides, I did send out a distress signal.

Nightwing: Really, cause I didn't get it, and neither did B.

Robin, realizing something: Ah, I believe I may have alerted someone else of my capture then...

Nightwing: who-

He's cut off as a red figure barrels through the window, shattering it.

Red Hood, guns cocked as he looks around the room: Who the fuck do I need to kill?

Robin, deadpan: Impeccable timing as always, Akhi.

[jazzz-posts]

[nondistinctmeganerd]

I love the trope that Damian is always dropping Jason lore on accident to an unsuspecting bat family, but I raise you this: Damian starts dropping little facts bc he's pissed that the rest of the bats are so clueless when it comes to his brother

-

Jason: idk why Alfred started making more italian lately but this is the best week of my life

Damian, who recently informed the family of some of Jason's favorite recipies: maybe he's having a phase

-

Jason, off-handedly to Damian exactly one (1) time: yeah, i just run cold these days, side effect of being dead I guess

*several weeks later*

Damian: hello

Jason, staring at the frankly appalling amount to soft and cozy blankets piled in the living room: hi????

[addictedapple]

They do sneaky blood tests and confirm Jason’s identity. So of course he must have amnesia.

They try to jog his memory with comments like “are you sure you’ve never been to Gotham before?”

But then every time they try to do that, Jason dramatically clutches his head like he’s in physical pain and starts groaning about crowbars. Then Damian starts screaming at them for causing his brother distress.

They always blanch and back off. Eventually they give up.

Jason ‘big bro Jay’ Todd

okay but what if Jason just never became red hood and instead became Damian’s older brother first and foremost? After Talia Al Ghul revived him, he may Damian and decided ‘fuck Batman, I’m adopting the kid��

Damian has not clue why everyone looks so terrified when his big brother comes over- and who on earth is ‘Master Todd’? Its ’big Brother Jay’ duh!

on Jason’s first visit back to the manor, Damian introduces him to Bruce, expecting them to get along due to their ‘gloom doom and serious energy’

instead Bruce just looks like he’s seen a ghost, and Jason (who has firmly decided he will protect this demon child, and batman is just a small roadblock) sticks out his hand and says

“Jay. Nice to meet you. I’m Damian’s older brother, what did you say your name was? Brian?”

Bruce dosent come out from his room for another three days

[bats-and-the-birds]

I screwed around on a fake tweet maker for far, far too long to make this stupid post.

[luca-is-a-pengu]

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

I need in my life Tim Drake who does rely on adults but really only one and Bruce is jealous as fuck about it.

"Tim where's your spleen, why haven't you told anyone about this"

"I told Dick what you talking about"

"Tim you played baseball in outerspace why didn't you call for backup?"

"I called Dick"

Why didn't you tell us you were bisexual"

"Dick's known for years? Wym?"

You see my vision Bruce, Alfred, Jack Drake I need these adults pushing for Tim to talk to them or ask for help and this boy to just constantly be like Dick knows, I called Dick, why would I call you.

Dick's sitting pretty knowing everything not surprised by a single fact because if it's the stupidest thing or the most important guess what Tim called him.

The man knows and sees all because Tim heard once that you tell a trusted adult important stuff and well Tim has only ever trusted one.

[raynewolferune]

Batmobile Conversations as Heard by a Fast-food Drive Thru Cashier

Batman: "No."

Red Robin: "But what if -"

Batman: "No."

Red Robin: "But I could -"

Batman: "No."

Red Robin: "What if I -"

Robin: "Cease this Neanderthal behavior at once! You cannot be a Red if you are dressed entirely in Green!"

~*~*~

Red Hood: "You're not my fucking father!"

Batman: "The paperwork says otherwise."

Red Hood: "Fucking where, Bitch! I'll burn them!"

Batman: "You'd still be grounded and for even longer if you did."

~*~*~

Batman: "Please tell me you have a Signal action figure now?"

Drive Thru Cashier: "I'm afraid Riddler high jacked the truck they were supposed to be on. We haven't got any in yet."

Batmn: *long heavy sigh* " Of course he did."

~*~*~

Red Hood, driving the batmobile for some reason: "I need 10,000 of one of literally anything you carry other than the Night Wings. I literally don't carry what it is."

Signal: "And one order of Robin Nuggets."

Red Hood: "And one order of Robin Nuggets. We Are Robin limited edition version if you have it."

~*~*~

Nightwing, driving the batmobile for some reason: "I need 6 orders of Night Wings, please."

Red Robin: "There are only two of us? And I don't want Night Wings?"

Nightwing: "Nah, that just cause Hood's trying to steal my lead. I'll get you anything you want other than the Caped Crusader Sandwhich though."

~*~*~

Batman: "No, you may not borrow the Batmobile."

Robin: "It's a right of passage!"

Batman: "You are too young to have earned that right yet."

Spoiler: "Ha! He called you a baby!"

~*~*~

Spoiler, driving the batmobile for some reason: "Do you guys have any glitter?"

Drive Thru Cashier: "Ma'am, this is a fast food restaurant."

Spoiler:

Spoiler: "How many packets of ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise can you legally give me?"

Drive Thru Cashier:

Drive Thru Cashier after checking with the manager: "50 packets of each."

Spoiler: "I'll take them!"

~*~*~

Robin, driving the batmobile clearly without permission: "I require 2 Robin Meals. One vegan."

Superboy the 2nd: "Oh! I want a Red Hood toy!"

Robin: "What?! Absolutely not! We will take the current Robin toy! A Nightwing if that's not available!"

Superboy the 2nd: "NOOO! I WANT RED HOOD!"

Red Hood, apparently in the back seat of the batmobile: "Dear God. MAKE IT 4 ROBIN MEALS, PLEASE, ANS GIVE THEM BOTH WHAT THEY WANT SO THEY SHUT UP."

Superboy the 2nd happily: "As long as I get my Red Hood."

Robin grumbling: "Ridiculous. Stop acting so thirsty for it."

Red Hood: *strangled, choking noises*

Superboy the 2nd: *mortified squeal* "ROBIN! That is NOT what that MEANS!"

[mysticalarmand]

Duke: Why is Dick sitting in between Jason and Roy?

Steph: Because he doesn't wanna see them cuddling.

Tim: Or kissing.

Duke: But they're a couple.

Tim: To Dick, Jason's still a baby.

Duke, holds up Damian: This is a baby, that's a grown ass adult.

[prlssprfctn]

Dick is kind of a big brother who knows what effect he has on his siblings's friends, and he never misses an opportunity to make himself look even cooler in their eyes. But Jason? Oh, Jason has no idea that people even consider him pretty and interesting.

It pisses his siblings even more.

Jason, on his bike, with the most insane face card: Hey, Replacement, hop on. We have work to do.

Kon, twirling his hair: Is your brother, like... free?

Bernard: Yeah, on Friday

Tim, with his eye twitching: I will kill you.

Jason, absolutely unaware of what is going on: ??? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

***

Jon, waving enthusiastically at Jason, who passes by kitchen: Jason is so cool!

Damian: ...

Jon: And kind!

Damian: Calling Todd kind is definitely a choice.

Jon: But he read me a bedtime story the last time I was staying here 😕

Damian, frowning: ...

(Damian, later that day: Why did you read bedtime story to Jon and not me.)

***

Jason: Why Tim's and Damian's friends keep fucking glaring at me? Or stumble when I am around? What tf am I doing wrong?

Dick, trying to hide his laughter: Eh, no idea

Bruce, absentmindedly: I, actually, have the same problem when I am around other people

Alfred, amused: No DNA test required, that's for sure

[pgratedlies]

im all about Jason resetting his age after he died.

Little things like going to a diner or restaurant after patrol, kids eat free and this 6 foot 6 fridge just says "free meal I'm legally 2"

Or my favourite hc is Jason protecting Damian from his time in the LoA so Damian, 10 apples tall, introducing him everywhere is " this is my my little brother be nice to him" and it's Hulk's lovechild in a red tic tac helmet