#I can’t even tell if they’re being passive aggressive

[wardenparker]

Every time one of my coworkers comments about how much I like to talk I want to scream and cry and hold up a sign explaining my mental illnesses that apologizes for the fact that I have NO social awareness as to when it is appropriate to talk more or less so I am literally just existing and trying to survive.

After I put the sign away, I will go hide in a tunnel or hidden corner or something for the rest of the work day.

[retrogradedreaming]

Maybe an unpopular opinion, but if I tell you I have to cancel plans because of my chronic illness, I do not want to hear that you’re frustrated or upset by it. I promise you that I am more frustrated and upset by having a body that won’t let me follow through with those plans.

You can BE frustrated and upset. Those are normal and valid feelings. But if someone says they can’t do something because of their illness and you center your own feelings by telling them how frustrated you are about it, you’re being insensitive and you need to grow some empathy.

[badkitty3000]

there wouldnt be any way u wld write a slightly sub five fic like you did with him and vivi? .... :)))

Ask and you shall receive! In this one, you and Five are working as trained assassins and you're not exactly happy with him. Enjoy! 😽

Coercion

Five x Reader One-shot, 5,202 words

Warnings: Smut, light bondage (very light), light dom/sub, oral sex

If Five noticed your silent treatment on the drive over to the crappy motel, he hadn’t let on. You waited with increasing irritation as he took his sweet time getting the room key out and opening the door. If you weren’t set on not talking to him, you would have not-so-gently reminded him that he didn’t need a damn key in the first place, but you let him struggle instead. Once he opened the door for you, you pushed past him and threw your bag and rifle case on the one sad and saggy double bed in the room. You crossed your arms over your chest, looking around with a scowl.

“This place is a dump.”

Five shrugged, setting his own bags down on the floor and shrugging his suit jacket off before placing it on the back of the one chair provided.

“It’s not great, I’ll admit, but could be worse.”

His casual tone told you he had not, indeed, picked up on your anger. As you stood there, glaring daggers in his direction, he finally looked up and had the nerve to act surprised.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked.

You put your hands on your hips. “You want to tell me what the hell that was back there?”

Five balked, the innocent look on his face aggravating you even more. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

With a loud huff, you turned to start unpacking your bag. “Of course you don’t.”

There was a pause and then Five sighed. “Well, are you going to tell me what you’re mad about, or do I have to start guessing?”

“You seriously don’t know?” you asked, spinning to face him.

He shook his head, putting his hands in his pockets in that way that told you he was starting to get fed up with your passive-aggressiveness. “No, I seriously don’t know.”

You gestured in the vague direction of the door, indicating the outside world you’d just come in from. “Out there. When you literally pushed me out of the way and took my shot.”

Five rolled his eyes and sighed. “That? You’re mad about that?”

“You knocked me on the ground!”

“I helped you back up,” he said with a smirk.

You made a frustrated growling noise and clenched your fists together. “That’s not the point! You’re supposed to be my partner! You’re supposed to support me! I had the fucking shot!”

Five hung his head and then looked back up with a grin that you immediately wanted to smack off his face. He walked over to you and placed his hands on your shoulders, cocking his head to the side in a condescending way.

“As your long-suffering partner, of course I support you 100%. But I’m not going to sit there and watch you make an error that could get you or both of us killed.”

You scowled up at him and shook yourself free from his grasp. “That’s a bunch of horse shit and you know it! I had that shot set up perfectly. Just because you can’t handle a little competition does not mean you get to just shove me out of the way like that.”

He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes again. “You did not have it set up perfectly. You would have missed.”

“I would not have,” you spat back between clenched teeth.

“With the way you were aiming and the fact that you hadn’t accounted for wind trajectory and velocity, you absolutely would have missed.”

You threw your hands in the air. “Of course, I factored in the wind trajectory! What do you think I am, a moron?”

“Of course I don’t. Stop being so dramatic.”

“That’s it,” you snapped, turning back to your bag on the bed. “I’ve had enough. I’m asking for a new partner when we get back.”

“Oh, is that right? You’re just going to waltz in there and ask for a new partner?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Because whoever else they can pair me up with has to be better than someone that can’t possibly admit when they’re wrong.”

“Uh-huh,” Five nodded. “You going to ask for a new husband, too, while you’re at it?”

“Maybe I will!”

“I don’t think that’s how that works, darling.”

A few seconds passed and you felt his arms wrap around your middle from behind. He rubbed his face into your hair and kissed your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said, not in the least bit convincingly, and you could feel the smile on his face.

“I don’t think you are.”

He moved your hair away from your neck and kissed the side. “I’m so very, very sorry. And if you come join me in the shower, I can show you how sorry I am.”

You closed your eyes and held your breath for a few seconds before letting it out in a loud exhale. He always knew how to get to you. And how to make you weak for him. But this time you were not going to give in. You were still too pissed.

“No, thank you,” you responded brusquely.

You felt that smirk against your neck again, before he moved down to your collarbone, using his teeth to very gently scrape across it over your shirt. Your mouth pressed together in a straight line as you tried not to give in.

“Please, sweetheart. You know you can’t stay mad at me,” Five mumbled against your neck. “Especially when I saved your life.”

“RAHHH!” You yelled, turning around so quickly that Five stumbled backward in surprise. “You did not save my life or anyone else’s! I had the shot!”

Five ran a hand down his face. “Ok, honey, you had the shot. I clearly don’t know what I’m talking about. Can we move on?”

As you stared at him with rage, you had to remind yourself that you really did love him. He was your husband after all, and it’s not like this is the first time his arrogance had created a rift between you two. And he was right when he said you couldn’t stay mad at him. You knew damn well it was just a matter of hours (probably less) before you’d give in and he’d have you on your back, moaning and crying for him, after accepting his half-ass apology and letting him make it up to you. Because, fuck, he really did know how to make you forget why you were mad at him in the first place.

Even though you were not ready to forgive him quite yet, you couldn’t help looking over his body, and the way that tailored suit fit him just right. Other married couples you knew had lost that lust for each other over the years. But not you two. It was usually part of your work routine to come back to your shithole motel after a day of hard-earned assassinations, and not be able to get one another’s clothes off fast enough. There was something about a loud and rough post-kill fuck that neither of you could get enough of.

You saw that flicker of amusement behind his eyes and a tiny bit of a smirk at the corner of his mouth, and you decided you really were still mad at him. But that anger was turning into something else. Something you could possibly use to your advantage.

Taking a few steps forward, you grabbed his tie in your fist and pulled him roughly into you. “We can absolutely move on. But here’s the thing. I’m still not buying your apology, so you can drop that little act. I do, however, have a way you can make it up to me.”

Five smiled. “And what’s that, love?”

“Get on the bed and I’ll show you.” You tugged harder on his tie. “Now.”

Five raised an eyebrow. He was not used to being ordered around in the bedroom, or anywhere else, for that matter. He did the ordering. You waited to see his reaction.

You could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out if he wanted to play along or counter with his own demands. And truth be told, you’d probably give in immediately if he took charge like usual.

He gave a small nod of assent and you let go of the tie. He sat on the side of the bed and waited for you to direct him.

“Lie down,” you instructed.

Five did as he was told, lying down on the bed, stretched out on his back. That small, smart-ass smile was creeping back again and it was only fueling your desire to dominate him.

You shoved the bag and your gear off the bed and climbed on. You were still dressed in your own matching suit, although yours was fitted and tailored for a woman. Your shoes were kicked off and you threw your blazer to the side and ripped off your tie. Then you straddled Five’s thighs and looked down on him with an overly sweet smile.

“You are all mine, now. Isn’t that right, darling?” you said, using his usual pet name for you.

Five paused but nodded slowly again. “Yes.”

“And you’re going to let me use you however I want to, right?”

His eyebrows creased together and his mouth opened partially. You figured this would be where he would protest. To your surprise, he didn’t. “Yes,” he agreed.

“Such a good boy,” you praised, cocking your head to the side. “But, you know…I just don’t trust you. I think I need a little more assurance that you’re going to stay put.” You dropped the fake smile. “Hands over your head.”

Five hesitated only for a second before he stretched his arms over his head so that his hands were close to the headboard. You scooted your body up a little and grabbed his tie, unknotting it and pulling it out from the collar of his shirt. Wrapping the tie around his wrists and securing it to the headboard, you made sure to make the knot extra tight. You knew, of course, that Five had the same training you did and could easily get out of his restraint. Not to mention his handy superpowers that meant he was nearly impossible to imprison.

He pulled against the tie, but it was secure. He shook his head. “You do have amazing knot-tying skills, my love, but you do know I can just blink out of this, right?”

Of course you knew that, but you just looked down on him with an amused smile. “I don’t think you’ll be doing that.”

“And why not?”

“Because if you do, then you’re not going to be getting anywhere near this pussy tonight. And I know that’s what you’re dying for.”

You gave a little push against his groin while you were straddling him and he groaned quietly.

“So, here’s how this is going to go. You’re going to do everything I say. I get to decide when you’re going to eat me and if or when I’m going to use that big cock of yours. And I don’t really care how you get off, but you better make sure I come first. Understand?”

“Yes,” Five said softly, licking his lips.

With your thighs still hugging either side of his waist, you started to unbutton your shirt, exposing your tits that were spilling over the white lace bra you were wearing. You knew Five loved this bra. He had picked it out for you. And he liked you in white because he liked knowing his assassin wife was dressed like an angel underneath her blood-stained clothes. You were a ruthless killer, just like him, but he knew the real you. Inside you were pure and you loved him unconditionally.

You were still going to torture the hell out of him, though.

Throwing your shirt off to the side, you let him have a good look at you while you ran your hands up your sides and onto your breasts. You squeezed them together and rubbed the tips of your fingers over your hardened nipples. You looked him directly in the eyes and traced your bottom lip with your tongue. Five groaned and you felt his dick come to life under you. When you ground down onto him, he let out another gravelly noise and pushed his hips up; his cock becoming fully hard.

You leaned down and kissed his mouth, pausing to bite at his bottom lip with your teeth before pulling away. His breath began to quicken as you unbuttoned his white dress shirt, tugging the bottom out of his pants and opening it to reveal his chiseled torso. You made a soft whimpering sound and slid the palms of your hands down his chest, over his stomach, and down to his waist. Your hair brushed over his skin as you leaned down to place a line of teasing kisses down his body, starting at his neck and traveling down to his navel. You could taste the salt from his skin and smell his familiar scent that you couldn’t get enough of.

“Oh, Five…do you know how hot you are? The things I want to do to you?”

“Do anything you want. I’m all yours, sweetheart,” he breathed out.

You gave a small shake of your head, like you couldn’t believe he was already acting up for you, and then placed a light slap onto his cheek. “No talking unless I say so. Just lay there and look pretty for me, ok honey?”

Five gave a short laugh, but he shut up and didn’t say anything else. He shifted his body under you and you gave him a squeeze with your thighs. He was all laid out there for you, shirt open and his hands tied behind his head. Usually, you would be the one pinned underneath him, writhing in anticipation. Now things were totally in your control.

After one more aggressive roll of your hips into his, you climbed off the bed to undress yourself the rest of the way. Five watched each movement you made and when you were down to just your white, sheer panties that matched your bra, you smiled when he pulled at the tie again in frustration.

You liked to tease him, but you also had a few other plans in mind, and for that, you needed to be fully nude. Making sure he was watching closely, you shimmied out of your panties and stripped your bra off. Once you were naked, with Five practically salivating at the sight of you, you climbed back on top of him.

You rubbed yourself against his hard cock, trapped beneath the fine material of his dress pants. The firm bulge slid between your legs, adding a delicious amount of friction as you rocked your hips against him a few times. Five closed his eyes and let out a low groan.

“So hard for me already.” You pushed yourself down and he grunted. “I like that.” You tilted your head to the side as you continued to work him over, letting him watch as you humped his clothed cock; grinding down until you were sure it was a mixture of pleasure and pain for him. He hissed through gritted teeth and closed his eyes.

Taking a little bit of pity on the poor old man, and also not wanting to risk the chance that he may just come in his pants, you stopped gyrating on top of him. You moved down a little so that you could have access to the fly of his pants. You slowly unzipped his fly before shoving your hand in, cupping his balls through his boxers, and rubbing your palm over his erection. He was clearly trying to restrain himself, but you could see the way he desperately wanted more. His hips pushed up into your hand as he swallowed hard and sucked in a loud breath.

Five’s head fell back as you pulled his pants and underwear off, leaving them in a pile on the floor with the rest of your clothes. He was left in just his open dress shirt and nothing else, his arms stretched over his head and his hands bound to the headboard. It was the sexiest fucking sight you’d ever seen.

You were on top of him again, this time avoiding the urge to rub yourself on his dick, even though it was tempting as hell. But you wanted him to squirm a little bit more. Instead, you leaned down and kissed him roughly on the mouth, tangling your hand in his hair and pulling hard. Your tongue slipped inside and you sucked at his lips, devouring him. When you gave a severe bite to his lower lip, he winced and jerked against his restraints. You dragged your tongue across, licking up the few drops of blood that had seeped out. Your breath was ragged and loud as you sat back again.

“Sorry, baby,” you breathed out. “I got a little carried away because you’re just so fucking gorgeous. You ok?”

Five looked up at you, breathing hard as one side of his mouth turned up, accentuating the dimple on the side of his cheek. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, licking at the blood, and nodded.  

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good. Because I have plans for that beautiful mouth of yours.”

With that as your warning, you crept up his body until his face was between your legs. On your knees, you grabbed onto the top of the headboard. He couldn’t hold onto you, or adjust his body too much underneath you, but you lowered yourself until you could feel his hot mouth against your wet and aching sex.

Five knew what you liked and how you liked it. He knew how to work you over with his lips and tongue. He moaned into you as he dragged his warm tongue up through your slit, tasting all of you. You whined loudly as you tipped your head back, closing your eyes. Everything felt so damn good; his tongue flicking at your clit, the warm wetness of his mouth as it completely engulfed you, and the stubble from his five o’clock shadow scratching your inner thighs. It was hard to hold back. You wanted to push down harder and start riding his face. As you grasped onto the headboard, you let out a high-pitched noise of frustrated restraint, allowing yourself to thrust onto him a few times before letting up again. After all, you didn’t want to suffocate the poor man. But fuck, it was incredible, and he was slowly driving you insane.

Five hummed, the noise muffled by the constant grinding of your dripping cunt against his mouth.

“Five…oh my god…” you groaned out. “You’re doing so good for me, baby…so fucking good.”

If you had a little bit more clarity about you, you may have noticed him laughing briefly before sucking and licking at you again. He wasn’t missing the irony of you using his usual comments of praise on him.

As you were lost in your own little paradise, you could feel him pushing his hips up, desperate for some sort of contact. You had hardly paid much attention to his cock yet, and he was starting to become a little desperate. You smiled down at him, still rolling your hips against his face.

“I know, sweetheart, I know. Keep going just a little longer, ok? Then I’ll give you what you want.”

You almost laughed at yourself. You really could not believe he was letting you get away with this. You expected him to blink out of his restraints at any second, appearing behind you before fucking you ferociously, all while reminding you who was really in charge. Instead, he continued letting you call the shots. And he sure as hell didn’t seem to be minding it.

Reaching behind you, you gave him one slow stroke up his hard shaft, making him momentarily lose concentration.

“Oh, fuuuck…” he groaned out. The words vibrated against you and you followed it with your own moan.

Which gave you an idea. You climbed off of Five’s face, letting him get in a couple of good gulps of air, while you repositioned yourself over him again; this time facing the opposite direction. You leaned forward, taking his cock in your hand and giving it a teasing lick around the head. When he made another desperate noise, you could feel the exhale of his breath against your wet pussy as you hovered over him.

“Do you want me to suck your dick, baby? Would that feel good?” you asked sweetly, giving it another lick up the side.

You felt another hiss of air against your skin. “God, yes,” he breathed out.

“Alright, I can do that for you. But you better keep eating me out, because if you stop, I stop. Got it?”

“Yeah, yeah, got it,” he whined and you smirked at his obvious need.

When your lips wrapped around his girth and slid down the shaft, slowly and deliberately, his hips thrust up into your face, making you swallow the entire thing, the head driving down your throat. As you began to gag and pull back, he relaxed back onto the bed. You removed your mouth and glanced back over your shoulder.

“If you do that again, you’re not going to get anything at all. So hold. Still,” you warned, squeezing his dick slightly just to remind him who was calling the shots.

There was a quiet huff of frustration, but he didn’t argue. When your mouth was back on him, he kept still, just like you instructed. You felt his tongue flick inside of your dripping hole as he lapped into you and you pushed your backside into him again. As long as he continued to mouth fuck you how you wanted, you continued to suck his dick. It was hard to concentrate and every time he moaned, you did it back in response because it made it that much hotter. The longer you worked his cock over, and the longer he ate you out, the more you wanted to feel him inside you.

Taking your mouth off of him, you moved again, turning around so you were facing him, kneeling between his legs. Five’s mouth was red and swollen, glistening and wet. His chest was heaving with the effort of trying to catch his breath after you were sitting on his face and from the amazing blow job you had just been giving him. You were panting, too, and you ran your hands down his torso as you started to straddle his waist. When you leaned down to kiss him, you grabbed his hair in your fist and pulled his head back.

“God, I love you, Five,” you snarled, before you were back to kissing him roughly again, sliding your tongue inside.

“Fuck, I love you so much,” he groaned against your lips.

“I want to fuck you so badly right now. Do you want that? Want to sink your rock-hard cock into my tight hole that’s only for you?”

Five nodded, looking into your eyes with the desperation of a man who was on the edge. “Shit, yes, baby…I want you to fuck me.”

You pulled your mouth to the side and shook your head. You lined yourself up with his dick, rubbing your wet slit up and down, making him suck in a loud breath and close his eyes.

“Before I let that delicious dick inside, I need one more little thing from you, ok?”

He nodded slowly again, trying to thrust up into you, but you held tight. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Just…god damn it…what is it?”

You leaned in close to his face, your mouth less than an inch from his, and you grinned wickedly. “Admit I had the shot.”

Five was silent as he took that in, but his eyebrows furrowed together. “Excuse me?”

You tugged at his hair again and slid your slick folds over his shaft. Five grunted. “You heard me. All you have to do is admit I had the shot and that you just wanted it for yourself. Then I promise that I’ll ride you like a fucking bronco until you're filling me up with your cum. It’s so easy,” you cooed with fluttering eyelashes and a sweet smile.

The only sounds in the room were those of your collective, ragged breaths as you both waited each other out. It was a standoff. But you were pretty sure you had the upper hand. There’s no way he was going to be able to hold out.

He breathed out a long, loud exhale. “Fine. You had the shot.”

You smiled. “And?”

“And I just wanted it for myself,” he said quietly and clearly unhappily.

“So, you admit that I know what I am doing and you, Five Hargreeves, are not the only one out there that has a brain?”

Five growled, his teeth clenched together and his body jerking beneath you. “Yes! Fuck! I admit it…I told you! You were right, I was wrong. Now please…just fuck me!” His voice cracked with his begging.

You brought your hand down, tracing the lines of his jaw. “Thank you, my love. That’s all I wanted.” You gave him another patronizing smack on the cheek, this one just a little harder than you had before, which you only just realized a second too late. His head turned to the side with the force of it and a light pink mark was left in its wake.

His eyes flashed with that steeliness you had seen from him many times in the past. That darkness that would come over him when he would look at you like the prey he was about to consume. A small smile formed on his face, his dimple peeking through and creating a contrast of severity and innocence as he looked you dead in the eyes. Your pulse quickened at the sight and suddenly you weren’t feeling so in control anymore.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he said slowly in that dangerous voice of his. “I think we’re done with this game.”

You swallowed loudly. You didn’t think you could have gotten any wetter than you already were, but you were proven wrong when you felt a rush between your legs as your breath hitched in your throat.

There was one more second of eye contact before you were collapsing onto the bed on all fours, a flash of blue surrounding you, and Five’s body no longer beneath yours. There was no time to register what was happening before you felt strong hands on either side of your hips, pulling your ass back while you cried out in surprise. There was also no time before Five’s hard cock was slamming inside of you in one thrust. His hand gripped your hair as he started fucking you.

“Five!” you exclaimed, inhaling a stuttering breath as he continued to rail into you. “That’s too…oh, fuck…keep going.”

You heard a quiet laugh from behind you, right before your body was tugged upward by your hair, and Five’s mouth was on your neck, his harsh breath warming your already hot skin. His other hand snaked around to finger your throbbing clit and you tipped your head back with a pleading whine.

“Oh god…yes, Five…please…”

“Fuck, I love to hear you beg for me. Keep going...beg me to let you come on my dick. Beg for my cum inside you."

"Ahh...please, Five..." you could hardly think of words or any coherent thoughts as he kept driving himself inside you. "...please...come inside me!"

"That's what I needed...you're always so good for me," he said tenderly next to your ear before pressing harder into you with his fingers and rubbing circles against you.

Damn it, he always knew how to get to you. It had been a fun game while it lasted, but you both knew this was what you really wanted. To be dominated and praised by him. To be owned by him.

You came for him, just like he wanted, crying out his name and trembling against his body as he held you to him with all of his strength. He followed soon after, groaning into your neck and shoulder; his face pressed into you as he emptied himself inside you with long, pumping shudders of his hips against your ass.

When you were both left panting for air, skin damp and bodies weak, he moved from behind you and you laid down on your side. Five fell onto his back, his chest still working for air as he looked over at you with a smile that you returned. He leaned in and gave you a quick kiss.

“I knew you couldn’t stay mad at me,” he smirked.

You scoffed. “I had you begging for me and you confessed to being a big liar!”

Five shrugged. “Confessions given under coercion are considered false and inadmissible in court. I think you know that. Therefore, I admit nothing.”

Your mouth hung open for a second and your eyes narrowed. “I swear to god, Five, I really am going to get a new part—”

He cut you off with a kiss and a gentle hand on the side of your face. When you pulled away his smile had evolved from arrogant to sweet and loving. He stroked your cheek and lips with his thumb.

“You know I love you more than anything in the world and I would never do anything to get in your way or to try and make you look bad. You are my amazing, sexy, smart, bad-ass wife who can do everything I can do and more. So, I swear to you when I say—”

“I know,” you said quietly with a nod. “I was going to miss, wasn’t I?”

He kissed you again. “Maybe. Maybe not. But when it comes to you, I’m not taking any chances.”

You nodded again. “I know that. And I couldn’t ask for a better partner or husband than you.” Then you grinned. “But if you knock me in the dirt again, you’re going to pay with more than just your hands tied over your head and a little slap to the face. Understand?”

Five laughed. “Fair enough. But you never know…I might like it.”

[mushroomates]

gandalf headcanons

hides spare pipe weed under his hat . pippin saw him do it one time. no one believes pippin.

even when he’s like- let me access my emergency stash- and pulls out a doobie from his hat. everyone’s like “woah such wizardry”

it drives pippin bonkers.

will cheat at cards, chess, checkers- has been known to enchant dice to make them weighted. again, denies

just a reminder that he canonically sleeps with eyes open. i’d also like to add that he can sleep standing up. he also does do both during long meetings sometimes.

the sleeping w eyes open particularly messes with legolas. he can’t handle prolonged eyecontact on a good day and now this wizard is staring into his soul and is only maybe conscious

sleeps on his back, stiff as a board. occasionally sits up, pauses, has a brief moment of lucidity and then goes back to bed

also sometimes talks in his sleep. in various languages. sometimes legolas is certain these languages are made up, but they’re spoken with such vigor it seems hard to believe that

you can have full conversations with him. they’re not particularly intelligent or understandable conversations but still very interesting dialogues that he does not recall in the morning. a favored topic is the inflated price of everything.

this is particularly amazing because gandalf does not pay for most things.

often things are gifted. sometimes he finds them, and keeps them as his own. more often than not he mooches off of others, and at times, has been known to take things

not steal. if you stopped him he’d give it back. but no one really has.

he just kind of. picks up something. looks at you. and walks away with it

sometimes will leave small tokens in return,, like rocks with strange runes on them or a single feather

sometimes will return the item after days, months, or years (decades, centuries)

oh i meant to give it back but then the civilization collapsed so-

he tends to favor things shaped like other things- a tea pot that is a boot, a spoon that’s shaped like a flower (evil evil EVIL) salt and pepper shakers that are little houses

also has a fascination with garden gnomes. will often take them ‘home’ as well. where do they go? who knows but they’re his now

no one knows where they go or what he does with what he acquires. a running theory is he has a secret house that no one is allowed in that’s full of weird knick-knacks

in actuality, he gives most of these things away. the garden gnomes are for tom bombadill, the weird spoons are for thranduil because he gives them to legolas and legolas HATES spoons that aren’t *spoons*

arwen is charmed by crossstich, galadriel likes weird soaps and candles, (gandalf the cheese wizard doubles as gandalf the bed bath and beyond wizard.)

saruman does not like novelty salt shakers but gandalf is convinced he does and keeps giving them to him.

on that note gandalf thinks towers are gaudy and would never have one

is very tempted to set up shop in the shire. everyone is against this idea which is why he really wants to.

Disturber Of The Peace- literally loves to uproot unsuspecting hobbits for fun

most known being the baggins, but like, he’s not above standing outside the proudfoots home with a ~mysterious~ envelope until he’s batted away with a broom or very passive aggressively dismissed

he’s like a stray cat that they need to stop feeding with adventures

there’s a list written by the thain of the shire “appropriate times to set off fireworks” . “never” and “when given explicit permission” are the only two things written. unfortunately gandalf is selectively literate

he does not, ever, know what time it is. if he does he won’t tell you-at least in a way that’s understandable to normal people

what’s the time? “it’s today” okay and when is that? “now” thanks buddy.

what times sunset? “when the moon is rising.” when’s that? “at the end of the day”

yk island time? that’s wizard time. just. no sense of any sort of time passing at all. it could be an hour or five days and he will refer to it as a minute. or vise versa. you invite him for tea on tuesday and he shows up on sunday, in the dead of night, with a hand full of seashells and covered in ash. no explanations. he leaves just as suddenly as he came, with a hermit crab in your kettle and dishes in the sink. but yeah, technically, he was there for tea on tuesday.

or arrives four weeks later because you didn’t say what tuesday.

it’s anyone’s guess, including him, what he has in his pockets. four twigs, each exactly 17 centimeters long? sure. half ball of twine wrapped around a chunk of moss? why not. three tea bags, clearly used, tied together and soaking wet. a small glass bottle with strange dust labeled “numbers”. a single tooth. reading glasses, cracked, missing a lense with a shoelace tied around the bridge. he doesn’t even wear glasses.

don’t. ever. ask him for directions. he can give you them, just. in a way that’s so alien that they’re impossible to follow

he kinda just. goes off of vibes? like if it feels like the right distance he will do with it. it’s not miles away but that sounds right

in his heart it is.

is always right. no amount of reason can convince him otherwise

at best, you’re both wrong but still. he knew it all along

rarely knows the right lyrics to things. if he’s called out he’ll just say “well in this version..” because he’s been everywhere and is ancient so no one can really argue

picks fights with a shocking large number of birds.

randomly and for seemingly no reason, in a multitude of languages most long forgotten.

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ The Advice Column Issue No.1 ; How to deal with fake friends while balancing school life 🎀🧁

Hii Dolls!!!⭐️ This is officially the first issue of my Brand new segment The Advice Column!!!! and i chose the topic fake friends bc as someone who’s had an alarming amount of fake friends in the past i can definitely give endless advice in this topic and its a collab with the @honeytonedhottie !! bc i thought she could also give so really good advice!!🎀⭐️

Are you struggling with keeping up in your studies? worried if your friends are talking behind ur back? Stressed? Feeling like school and socials are just to much??? DONT WORRY!! Dolly n Honey are gonna save the day!! 🎀⭐️

Section 1 ; Honey!!🍯

how to balance ur school and social life (in bullet points) !! 🎀🧁

- make a list of priorities and stick to it like its a handbook

- practice saying no to events and saying no to excessive studying, the key is to find an equilibrium

- combine social and academic events

- make sure to use ur time wisely and do whats important first, so that then u can have loads of time for ur social life!

Section 2 ; Dolly! 🎀

No.1 ; Stand up for yourself!! ⭐️

if ur so called “friend” is constantly make smart remarks about you,scrutinizing you for the smallest thing,being passive aggressive or really just trying to hurt your feelings always stand up for yourself and never let insult like that because that shows that you have no self respect and then they’re gonna just keep doing it set clear boundaries and don’t be a doormat never let this person/people walk all over you , if you didn’t appreciate something they said don’t take shit from them address and make sure it never happens again

No.2 ; spotting a secretly fake friend⭐️!

now there’s obviously “friends” that you can spot from a mile away that they’re definitely toxic but theres also a certain type of friend that could be the sweetest to ur face but secretly talk shit behind ur back and its honestly not that hard to spot one of these “friends” so here are some characteristics of ‘the secretly fake friend’

- never sticks up for you

- constantly lying

- at time can be very passive aggressive

- will tell you that someone was talking about you and not defend you at all

- will make you feel like a bad friend even if they’re wrong in the situation

- if you’ve ever confronted them on their behavior and they say they’re sorry but then repeats the same actions

- lets their other friends talk shit about you

- HUGE VICTIM COMPLEX!

these kinds of fake friends are tricky bc you really can’t spot them at first and then it can be harder to cut them off which brings me to my next point

No.3 CUT THEM OFF !!⭐️

listen i know its hard to let go of these people at first im mean I’ve had to do it multiple times but i swear it gets sooo much easier to not have these people in ur life its way better to have no friends than a bunch of friends thats secretly hate you don’t stay caught up on toxic people like this its a waste of ur own peace and well being , block them,stop following them,stop talking to them have NOTHING to do with these people/person

No.5 ; Ur not special !!

now this title is a bit alarming but what i mean by that is if you have a friend that’s constantly talks down about people for no reason whether it be their friends or someone they know and im not talking about the standard gossip talk bc tbh everyone gossips but im talking about like drags them through the mud calls them mean names and purposefully spreads rumors about other people they’ll do it to do you as well ur not special i doesn’t matter what this person is telling you they’ll talk about any and everyone it doesn’t matter people like this do not care

No.4 ; Being Un-phased !! ⭐️

now after you cut them off either gonna

A. make it seem like they’re innocent and have been nothing but nice to you and try and make you feel bad

B. Act like theirs beef when in reality theres not they just want a reason to start a problem

C. to the standard mean girl remarks side eyes,whispers,random pointing and slightly laughing, or even in some cases talk loudly about you but indirectly

now in any of these situations never let it bother you show no reaction these kinds of people feed off ur fear of them shows no reaction when it comes to things like this and you can also do it back side eye them back,give them weird looks back now im definitely not saying be just like them but play their game don’t let disrespect like this slide and i know how hard it can be especially since these are people ir support be close with but i promise making friends that actually care about you is WORLDS BETTER!!! you’ll have such a peace of mind and being able to make friend that actually care about you is such a freeing feeling!!!!

Reminders!!! 🎀🍯

- they’re opinions don’t matter

- these people are no above you in any way shape or form

- stress is normal don’t let it get to you !!

- you deserve much better friends

- it normal to feel sad after cutting them off

- this person/these people don’t deserve you!!!

- you got thiss!!!

[queenofallimagines]

Omg hello!! I just read your devotee headcanons(they were all amazing I loved them) for the brothers and I just wanted to ask if you could do one for guardian angel simeon???in my religion we believe that every person has a guardian angel so imagine how funny it would be when you come down to the devildom and simeon is like :o it's you!!

Certainly beloved!💕 I think this one might be the longest😭

Simeon:

- unlike the others, notices right off the bat

- He’s been assigned to you since before birth like come on he could recognize you by just an eyelash

- Will be slightly hurt if you don’t recognize him

- “You don’t remember me?🥺 but I sing you a lullaby when you were 2”

- Sir…. Please be serious, that’s like 3 seconds of memory

- Will passive aggressively push for you to move in with him in purgatory hall

- Lucifer is exhausted because he’s always there

- “You act like you LIVE here. Go back to YOUR dorms!”

- “Bold of you to think I would leave MY precious, amazing human here will all of you unsupervised”

- He’s not about to stop being clingy neither

- Sharing old stories at student coy meetings like you have got to stop him before he gets out a photo album 😭

- Scolds you like a parent

- “I know you’re now doing what you shouldn’t be”

- Luke is your honorary baby brother

- Will ask Luke to watch you like he’s tall enough to reach the microwave

- “Luke I’ll be back in a minute make sure they don’t have any more sweets”

- Like you’re literally grown💀please tell him to back off a little or this will get worse

- When he realizes he’s falling for you in a way Guardian Angels shouldn’t. He panics

- This the same shit Lilith did

- And he got demoted for just AGREEING with Lucifer about the war

- Hides it like he’s gonna take it to the grave, especially from Luke

- You notice he starts avoiding you a little and will lie through his teeth that he’s just feeling a little under the weather

- Lucifer peeped game though, and he’s like yeah absolutely NOT

- he’s not letting anything else happen to any more of his Family

- Will lock your ass up until he gets Simeon alone to have a talk with him

- Like you now have a curfew 😭

- Listen…. He would tear apart the entire exchange program over lesson 16,,,,

- Like y know how Diavolo said Simeon is the ONE person he doesn’t want to piss off?

- Yeah it’s like inconsolable now

- In any timeline any life any dimension he will feel you’re endanger

- In like Bible canon they really can’t help unless god gives them the okay so they’re often times forced to watch the one they were bound to protect suffer

- But this is the devildom and he don’t really got eyes down here. So who’s to stop him from coming to your aid??

- Even though you’re “technically” okay he’s still like not having it

- As soon as it happens he feels a sharp cold pain throughout his entire body and drops whatever he’s holding

- Struggling to remember how to breathe all he can think about is sprinting to the house of lamentation

- Busts open the doors to see you in mammon arms, and it’s like his whole world shatters

- He hears belphie laughing, and he’s never felt rage like this before

- Lucifer is fighting for his LIFE because he’s having to balance feeling grief, shock,rage, and also try to keep his brothers from going off the deep end so he’s like frozen

- Can’t think fast enough to stop Simeon from unleashing some divine punishment on this spoiled brat

- Lucifer does snatch him up because he will literally kill him in cold blood right there if he doesn’t reason with him

- Almost snaps back on Lucifer before you show up again for the intermission

- Shaking and crying with relief

- You’re gonna make him literally faint MC please😭

- Like don’t the angels use a LOT of magic to keep their emotions in check so they don’t go crazy like demons do?

- They’re having to suppress every emotion ever and dull those

- So he’s got like a couple of eons of just raw feelings pent-up beating his ass all at once

- When you explain the reveal he’s like REALLY about to throw up

- Lucifer and everyone are like feeling relief and are glad you’re okay

- Almost wants to break mammon arms for holding you and barely letting anyone else get near you

- But he’s frozen in shock too

- Lucifer side eying Simon like,,,,, me too bro, but he has NO idea how to talk to him about that?

- Settles for holding you as tight as possible and whispering a prayer into your hair for protection

- Teaches you to use your angel powers

- But doubles down on his over protectiveness

- Helicopter angel now

- Which doesn’t really mesh well with Lucifer’s attachment anxiety

- will come pick you up at random ass times and whisk you away for no reason

- Like the exam is in a month why are you studying devildom history now???

- Causing Lucifer to freak the fuck out when he does his randomly scheduled MC room check-ups

- Doesn’t even think to text you before hyperventilating

- Luckily enough, the first time you come back with Simeon attached at the hip

- Him and Lucifer have gotten into it a few times over this

- Dia is forced to call a student council meeting without you present

- You and Luke think the meeting is tomorrow and are making snacks

- he’s like okay Simeon you can’t keep doing this

- And he goes OFF

- Like this is HIS fault for not watching and protecting you

- Like if this is supposed to be for human angels and demons to coexist you’re doing a shit job

- Almost single-handedly shuts down the program by saying he will take you home and make sure they never get near you ever again

- Lucifer feeling so much guilt he can’t breathe is trying to be in his best behavior and be rational, but Simeon is relentless

- He’s talking out the side of his neck until he snaps back on some “you’re literally following in Lilith’s footsteps! Do you not think that the celestial real won’t also deal out a punishment for MC? You falling from grace isn’t the only thing on the line here.”

- OOP

- It’s suddenly crickets

- Even Barbados is like 😦🫢

- He can’t even deny those allegations so he’s just like glaring at him

- Solomon steps in bc WOW this is getting crazy

- Reasons with him that because you have a pact with all of them now they CANT hurt you and you’re training under him as a sorcerer so you’ll be fully equipped to defend yourself from anything

- Simeon relents at least sitting back down in his chair

- Explains there really nobody best as a candidate for representing the three realms than you being a part of all three of them

- (Lilith when she died wasn’t an angel or a demon but something in between so in my head MC has always been all three; human demon and angel and that’s why they’re extra immune to demon magic)

- Simeon agreeing to chill out a little bit swearing if anything else ever happens to you, he wouldn’t hesitate to target whoever’s directly responsible

- Imagine how awkward the actual meeting is tomorrow 😭

- You’re having a great morning and everyone holding they breath

- Barbados my beloved is the only one who’s got enough sense and acting skills to act like nothing happened

- When you stop lord Doavolo mid-sentence to ask what the FUCK is up with these rancid vibes

- Barbatos kindly informs you that it’s the stress from a new school event that diavolo has yet to announce

- “It happens annually (lie) and it’s usually very exhausting to put together. Perhaps you can alleviate some of that for us.”

- Everyone subtlety lets out the breath they were holding seeing you so excited to help out

- Barbatos stirring the pot a little more ALSO suggests you run the maid bunny café

- Suddenly everyone forgets what the elephant in the room was and is now talking over each other

- There was no school event btw LMAO so they just had to make one up and then take three weeks to prepare for it.

- Great way to lift the spirits though✨

[akookminsupporter]

ARE YOU SURE?!: FOURTH EPISODE

MY IMPRESSIONS

Preface: This is not an analysis post, and honestly, I don’t want to overanalyse their interactions or everything they said and did—many others are already doing that. My intention with this post is simply to share my thoughts on the episodes, my impressions, and perhaps my conclusions.

I’m writing this as I watch the episodes for the second time.

Okay, this episode picks up right where the last one left off—obviously, Rosie, haha! 

If there’s one thing BTS love almost as much as being on stage and their fans, it’s food, haha! 

One of the things I adore about Jimin and Jungkook, or the maknae line in general, is how silly they can be, but in the cutest way possible. 

To Jimin, Jungkook will always be cute, just like Jimin will always be pretty to Jungkook. 

I can totally see why they love Jeju so much—it’s gorgeous. 

Ahhh, Tae saying he loves travelling with Jimin and Jungkook is adorable. 

Honestly, the best places to eat are often in the sketchiest streets or the hardest to find. I feel like that’s almost a universal law, haha! 

Ahhh, who would’ve thought that in 2024—or technically 2023—we’d see Jimin openly talking about his tattoos in official content, haha. Jimin really loves the moon, and so does Jungkook. I’ve said it so many times, but I LOVE Jimin’s tattoos, especially the ones on his back. Selfishly, I’d love it if they covered his entire back, but obviously, my opinion doesn’t count, haha! 

Look, people can argue about Jikook, Taekook, Jinkook, etc., being Jungkook’s biggest ships, but no one seems to notice that Jungkook’s biggest ship is with good food. There’s no relationship more obvious and strong than that. That man LOVES to eat and cook. 

It’s the little things that often go unnoticed that I love about Jimin and Jungkook, like how, when they’re together, enjoying something or laughing at something funny, they always look at each other to confirm or make sure the other is feeling the same way, saw the same thing, or just to see their reaction. It’s like they’re looking to reaffirm what they’re already thinking or feeling. I’m not sure exactly how to explain it. For example, when they were eating sushi, Jimin or Jungkook would often turn to look at the other and nod, saying how delicious the food was, or reacting happily to what they were eating. It’s similar to when they’re at a concert, and they look at each other and nod as if to say, “Here we go” or “We’ve got this.” 

Ahhh, something I loved seeing in this episode was Jimin being more active, feeling better, and enjoying the trip. 

When Jungkook is eating, he’s oblivious to almost everything around him. It’s so funny watching him so immersed in his culinary experience while Jimin was massaging Tae’s neck because Tae wasn’t feeling well, haha. I mean, they mentioned his name, and he just didn’t hear it, even though Jimin and Tae were just inches away from him, hahaha! Jimin immediately explaining/justifying why Jungkook didn’t have the same neck issue as Tae is nothing new, haha. 

Jimin definitely has my sense of humour, haha! That’s why he and Yoongi bicker so much! Because they’re so similar. Understanding something literally and responding based on that is definitely my kind of humour, haha! 

Can someone please give Jimin and Jungkook a YouTube channel already? Jungkook would record everything and edit everything, and Jimin would be the frontman. That man is always pretending to be a YouTuber, and Jungkook always plays along. 

The passive-aggressive dynamic between Jungkook and Tae is so entertaining, but sometimes I can’t tell if Jungkook is being a cheeky brat or if he’s serious, haha! Again, I don’t get why so many people persist in not understanding the dynamic between those two. 

I recently tried sushi, and I get the hype now. I totally get the boys’ reaction, and I’m sure the sushi I had wasn’t as good, fresh, or authentic as what they were eating. 

The three of them honestly looked like baby birds waiting to be fed, haha! They take good food very seriously, haha! 

Something we saw a lot in this episode is how Jimin and Jungkook completely get each other’s quirks and know how to play along because it’s basically the same for both of them. Watching them with others, especially other members, just makes it more obvious because the other person, in this case, Tae, looks lost/confused about what Jimin and Jungkook are saying or doing, haha! 

Yes, Jimin, please do more shows like this! I’m totally on board. Jungkook obviously agrees. 

Okay, it’s sweet that Tae thought of Joon and wondered why he didn’t join them. Something no one can deny, no matter how hard they try, is that those seven guys love being together. They’re always thinking of each other, BUT the fact that Jungkook almost immediately responded that not everyone is invited/part of the show is such a MOOD. The fact that he did it while sounding and looking serious makes it even funnier. The way Jimin followed up by saying the show was really for him and Jungkook, practically implying that even Tae shouldn’t have been there and that he only was because they allowed it, is an even bigger MOOD. And then Tae wrapping it all up by saying he felt it and was grateful they invited him is pure comedy, but with a bit of dark humour. It made me wonder if even off-camera, Jimin and Jungkook kept reminding Tae that he was just a guest and the show was really for the two of them, haha! Ahhh, the passive-aggressive relationship between these three is something else. 

Jimin and Tae are just too adorable together. 

Jungkook is really a passive-aggressive brat with Tae, isn’t he? Haha! 

They’ll always be each other’s biggest fans. 

Tae basically rubbing it in our faces that he can just call up and ask for an unreleased song hurt, haha! The privilege of being a BTS member. It’s also lovely to hear how much admiration they have for each other.

“Alone” is truly an incredible song. It’s still one of my favourite Jimin tracks and one that feels deeply personal to me.

I don’t know if this happened to anyone else, but I was surprised when Jimin took his shirt off, and I’m not sure why, haha. It’s just, well, it’s so out of character for him! Even though he always says he walks around the house barely dressed and loves showing off his shoulder, hahaha. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining—I love seeing Jimin’s tattoos.

Jungkook was checking out Jimin, wasn’t he? He was.

Hearing Jungkook say “Jimin-ssi” will always give me life, haha.

Okay, I’ve mentioned this before, and it’s my first tinhat moment of the episode, but Jungkook reminded Jimin that the pool was see-through because he knows what they’re like when they’re together. It was like a warning, wasn’t it? Like, “Remember, they can see us,” hahaha.

Okay, I’m not really into comparing dynamics, but one of the reasons I think it’s great that Tae was with Jimin and Jungkook in this setting is that you can clearly see the dynamic between each duo and how Jimin and Jungkook’s is just different from the others. And like I said in another post, the way each duo played in the pool is a good description of each one and how different they are from each other. This doesn’t mean it makes one ship real or more real than the other; it just shows why many of us see Jimin and Jungkook’s dynamic as different and a bit more similar to that of a romantic couple.

Jungkook and Tae playing in the pool were like two energetic guys just having fun. It’s what you’d expect to see when you hear the words “pool” and “men” in the same sentence. And yes, that sounds a bit sexist and stereotypical, but that was the vibe they gave off, sorry.

Jimin and Jungkook, on the other hand, were two guys being silly and careful with each other. I’ve already mentioned this above, but Jimin and Jungkook share the same quirkiness, and that helps them understand each other on levels that other members don’t. Some people on Twitter said they “get each other’s freak,” and they’re right, and this becomes even more evident when another member is around them. That’s why I always say Jimin and Jungkook operate on a different frequency than the others. They just click. I didn’t say it—Jungkook did.

The way they play is also different. Sorry, but objectively speaking, it is, and even though many deny it, that doesn’t make it any less true. They always seem to be flirting. Jungkook is always a bit more careful when it comes to Jimin, especially when their games involve physical contact. There’s always an extra layer in their interactions that simply sets their dynamic or relationship apart from the rest. It’s no wonder their moments are always used by fans to describe what Jimin or Jungkook would be like as a boyfriend, husband, etc.

I think it’s important to highlight the breath-holding endurance those two have underwater, hahaha!

From what I saw on Twitter and some of the ASKs I’ve received, some people are upset because some Jikookers keep mentioning that Tae was just a guest, and although jikookers are saying this in reaction to the subgroup that last week was pretending the show was about Tae and Jungkook or all of BTS, they’re also doing it because Jimin and Jungkook wouldn’t stop mentioning it in this episode. They directly called Tae “the guest,” so I don’t understand the “upset.”

Tae seemed tired and apparently had a stomach ache or something, so maybe that’s why he didn’t join in the fun, but I also wonder if he didn’t do it because he wanted to give Jimin and Jungkook their space. It seems he did something similar on the yacht, but we’ll get to that later.

Guys, I’m not even halfway through the episode, and I’ve already written three pages. I wonder if anyone has actually made it this far. If someone is reading this, I’m sorry, I talk a lot, but I feel like so many things happened in this episode that I want to comment on, everything. Oh, and I still need to write my conclusions. Sorry!

Okay, the conversation about ramyeon. I suppose this is the second tinhat moment of the episode. It’s pretty clear that Jimin and Jungkook know the double meaning of the question “Do you want to eat ramyeon with me?” right? Right. So, starting from that premise, it seemed like they were referring to the double meaning of that question or the variation of the question that Jimin asked. Starting with the tone in which Jimin asked the question. Yes, Jimin probably meant the question literally, BUT they knew how suggestive it was. The tone of their voices and certain reactions during that conversation really didn’t help.

Now, “ppeuri.” Is that another one of Jimin and Jungkook’s inside jokes? Yes, they explained why Jimin said it, but the way Jungkook brought it up and Jimin’s reaction makes you think, and sometimes it’s bad to think too much when it comes to these two.

Jimin and Jungkook talking about eating ramyeon while half-naked with their tattoos on full display isn’t good for my heart, let alone my imagination. But seeing them so happy makes me happy.

Also, am I the only one who felt like they cut a part of them around the fire? I hope we see more of that moment in the behind-the-scenes.

Ahhh, the feeling of the everyday life of the first two episodes is back! Jimin and Jungkook talking while getting ready is the most domestic thing in the world. The fact that they then sat together—personal space isn’t a concept they understand—looking at their phones and talking about their plans is simply… normal.

Jungkook confirming with Jimin that he hadn’t slept at all since New York is… interesting. Did Jungkook travel to New York before going to Jeju? I don’t remember. Or was he talking about when he and Jimin were there together? Because if it’s the first one, why would Jimin know that (more or less rhetorical question), and if it’s the second one, wow. I mean, was the last time Jungkook slept well when he was with Jimin? Or is it because it was the last time he took a break? Even if it technically also counted as work? That moment was definitely edited and had parts cut out.

Jimin and Jungkook silently competing to see who got to the bed first is too funny, and the fact that Tae was awake or had woken up anyway makes it even funnier, hahaha!

Now, Jimin + Jungkook + bed = interesting, right? Haha. The way Jimin immediately threw his legs over Jungkook, and Jungkook just laughed and got more comfortable without even bothering to move them, really shows how at ease they are with each other. Although Jimin and Jungkook are pretty comfortable together, it's rare to see them in these kinds of situations or moments—or better yet, in bed together, haha—so it’s definitely interesting to see them like this. Jimin warning Jungkook not to hit him again was too funny.

And then, eventually, Jungkook gave his bed to Jimin.

Aww, Jungkook’s conversation with his mum was too sweet. The way they talk the same way is just adorable.

Once again, their relationship, especially Jungkook's, with food is something else, haha. And very serious.

Mate, Jimin and Jungkook teasing Tae sometimes is hilarious, haha.

Not Jungkook telling Tae he basically had to pay for his share of the food. Why is he like this?

Jimin and cats are a match made in heaven, and it’s cruel that he’s allergic.

The guys mentioning that another member would have enjoyed this or that, or wondering why they weren’t there, is just so heartwarming. They really do love each other and appreciate being together. BTS forever.

Yes, Jimin, you guys definitely need to do another show. You can call it whatever you want, but give us another show like this, please.

Jimin, I can tell you that the trips to the USA and Jeju were amazing! Fun. Wholesome. Thank you for sharing those moments with us.

It’s a shame Tae didn’t seem to be feeling well on the yacht, and I also think that wasn’t exactly his kind of fun? Not being on the yacht per se, but swimming or snorkelling like Jimin and Jungkook did. I also wonder if he was giving Jimin and Jungkook their space, after all, the show is about them, and everything they did was planned for the two of them.

Okay, Jimin pretending to be a paramedic giving first aid to one of the members isn’t new, but pretending to give mouth-to-mouth is?! And the way Jungkook didn’t seem surprised—sorry, but the editor’s comment, “A way-too-effective-kiss of life (?)” hello?! The way Jimin seemed embarrassed or shy immediately afterwards was too funny.

Jimin and Jungkook are just too cool. We often talk about how adventurous Jungkook is, but sometimes we forget that Jimin is just as adventurous. He likes fun things that some might consider extreme. He enjoys sports and risky stuff, maybe not as much as Jungkook, but almost. And that’s another thing they have in common, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that made planning many of the activities they did much easier.

Jimin and Jungkook are very good swimmers. Jimin and Jungkook just click.

I’d like to believe that once the group resumes activities, the agency editors won’t put stickers to cover their bodies when they’re semi-naked or showing “too much” skin, haha.

It’s funny how both the editors and Jimin and Jungkook themselves use any name but Jikook or Kookmin—though I think Kookmin would be the most obvious and familiar to them. Now it’s not Jikook but Jimkook. Maybe to avoid confusion, haha.

Well, in the end, Jimin and Jungkook did share a packet or cup of ramyeon. Haha.

Mate, the drone suddenly falling into the water was too funny, and I don’t even know why, haha. And Jungkook saying up until the last minute that Tae was the guest of the show is a mood.

Jimin and Jungkook cuddling while watching the sunset, with Jungkook filming it. That’s all that needs to be said.

Wait, didn’t Jungkook say that the drawing Jimin posted on Instagram was of a whale? I remember ARMY was saying it was a fish, I think? And he was like, “No! It’s a whale!” So why was Jungkook originally saying the cloud looked like a shark? Or was that a translation error?

I really loved how Tae respected some of the moments between Jimin and Jungkook and joined them at the right time.

MY CONCLUSIONS ON THE FOURTH EPISODE

God, this post is already too long, so I’ll try to be more concise here.

I really liked the episode. I think the vibe was a mix of what we saw in the first two episodes and the third one. Jimin feeling better changed the trio's dynamic, in my opinion.

Something I think I’ve mentioned several times before the first episode of this show even aired is that I was curious to see the dynamic between Jimin and Jungkook without the presence of the other members, and we got plenty of that in the first two episodes. I believe the contrast couldn’t have been clearer. I also remember saying something similar when it was confirmed that Tae would be in this part of the show. I said it would be interesting to see the dynamic between the three of them—not just without the other members but also in the context they were in. Again, the contrast between each pair and among the three of them couldn’t have been clearer, at least to me, and I think this episode made it even more apparent.

Jimin, Jungkook, and Tae get along really well, but they don’t always vibe on the same frequency. This means that when the fun ends, they can seem a bit awkward. Maybe it’s the cameras, I don’t know. In my post about the previous episode, I talked about how I see the dynamic between each pair, and in this one, where Jimin was more active, it was easier to “compare” the dynamics, especially when Jimin and Jungkook did similar things to what we saw Jungkook and Tae doing in the third episode. I’ve mentioned this above, but to sum up: they’re different. There’s something about the way Jimin and Jungkook interact that looks different. That sounds different. One thing I always notice is that the tone of their voices changes. It becomes softer, quieter. Calmer. And that only happens with them.

I loved the little moments of everyday life between Jimin and Jungkook. The moments of them just being themselves. Being together, having fun. That’s what the show is about, isn’t it?

I liked that, for whatever reason, Tae knew when to give them space. And I think this episode made it clear that this show is really just about Jimin and Jungkook. Even though it wasn’t necessary to prove the obvious, it’s pretty ironic that this happened after all the noise last week. Jikook karma is stronger than ever.

Jimin and Jungkook mentioning more than once that Tae was a guest was funny. They can be a bit petty when they want to be, but at the same time, I highly doubt they were upset about him joining the trip, as many fans have been suggesting. If they weren’t okay with Tae joining them, he wouldn’t have done so. I’m sure of that.

I’m surprised there’s going to be another episode in Jeju, to be honest, but I’m not complaining.

Final conclusion: I liked the episode. I liked seeing Jimin and Jungkook in sync again. Enjoying their holiday, they obviously deserved it and needed it. I’m glad Tae got to experience some of that too. That they were all together.

Now, I’ve seen some posts from the subgroup changing the narrative yet again. Insulting Jungkook and even his mum. How these people still have space in this fandom is beyond me. How no one else is calling them out for their behaviour—no one other than Jikookers, really—is inconceivable. Sad but not surprising. Not really. The narrative will change even more with the next episode, and it’ll be even more drastic once the episodes in Japan start airing. So, brace yourselves.

To those who were happy with this episode but not with the third one, I suggest you ask yourself what kind of fan you are. And I don’t mean a BTS fan; I mean, what kind of fan of Jimin and Jungkook are you really?

If you made it this far, thanks for reading all of this. I’m not sure if it makes sense. Apologies for any spelling and grammar mistakes. See you in the next episode, haha.

[concretecultist]

Broken Vows

summary: while trying to keep your head above water, Nicholas does the unforgivable.

pairing: fem!reader x nicholas ruffilo

THIS IS PURE FICTION!! Do NOT proceed if these themes are not of your taste.

warnings: ANGST, descriptions of postpartum depression, Mean!Nicholas, negative self talk/image, insecurities, infidelity, mentions of trouble trying to conceive, alcohol consumption

word count: 4.1k

A/N: i told you guys angst is my specialty 🥴 please be sure to comment and reblog 🩷

divider by : @djarrex

~Berry 🫐

———

Nico was a gift to your lives. He was such a beautiful baby boy that you and Nicholas were beyond blessed to bring into this world.

With being together for 6 years, being married for 4 and trying for a baby for 2 of them, despite the difficulties, your baby boy is now here.

But while you can recognize how much you love your son, you just can’t seem to display it. When he cries, you panic and just watch him cry until Nicholas intervenes. There’s times where you can’t even hold him, not being able to accept the skin to skin contact.

In your mind, you were failing to be a good mother to him and it doesn’t help that Nicholas’ mind just seemed to be elsewhere. He doesn’t make eye contact, he doesn’t kiss you, he doesn’t hold you at night and he’s passive aggressive when it comes to your detachment regarding Nico.

At first he seemed to understand, until it was him waking up every time in the middle of the night to put him to sleep because you just stared at Nico in his crib, frozen, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to soothe him.

He was understanding at first until he had to buy formula because you wouldn’t pump, and when you did, it wasn’t enough to properly feed him. Your lack of good production stemming from the stress and not being able to take care of yourself, not eating, not hydrating, nothing.

“He needs his mom, Y/N,” Nicholas grabbed Nico from his crib, the upset infant instantly pacified and the blood curdling cries are finally quiet.

“I can’t bond with him, he doesn’t even know me as is mom!,”

“Because you’re not trying!,”

“I am,” you pull at your roots, speaking through gritted teeth, “I’m fighting for my fucking life here and you’re guilting me about it,”

Nicholas just sighed, he knows this isn’t easy. He had helped you get a therapist and he thought it’d at least help even a little bit. It’s been like this for a month.

“I’m not guilting you! But at the same time we have a son to raise, I know you’re trying, honey, but something has got to give. What are you going to do when we have to go on tour again?,”

“You said that wouldn’t be for a while!!,” you shriek, face wet as you panic, “Nicky, please, I’m not ready,”

You could see his jaw clench and you hate to see him so upset with you, so frustrated. Your mind and body were still healing and despite delivering Nico a month ago, your body just doesn’t feel like yours anymore, you’re confused and the idea that someone now needs you 24/7 was terrifying.

Maybe you were in over your head. Maybe there’s a reason it was so hard to conceive in the first place.

But alas, regardless of Nicholas’ frustration, he still helped get you to therapy, he helped you do some stretches to help get you grounded back into your body.

However, after a while the distance still grew. Once you were at a point where you could be alone with Nico, Nicholas was barely there.

He’d tell you he was leaving and wouldn’t come back until late.

It’s almost like he was punishing you.

Each night he’d come home, hop in the shower and climb in bed, turning his back to you.

Your marriage didn’t feel like a marriage anymore and you’re still waiting to feel that sense of family that so many people talked about.

There’s a night where Nicholas doesn’t come home at all. You’re messaging him, blowing up his phone with calls and voicemails, even going as far as calling the guys but even they’re not answering.

You were up all night crying along with Nico and the only reason he fell asleep is because he cried himself out. You sat in the same spot on the loveseat from sunset to sunrise, you haven’t slept a wink and when you hear his keys jingling, you become more aware of how you look.

Hair all over the place, Nico’s spit up all over your hoodie, dried tear streaks on your face and it just feeds the insecurities that you’ll never “snap back” like all the other moms on social media do.

“Where have you been?,” voice cracking

He doesn’t answer, he just walks past you as if you don’t exist.

“I asked you a question,”

“God, Y/N! Not right now,”

Your breath hitches as you take in his appearance, looking all partied out and hungover, hair up in a messy bun and his clothes all wrinkled.

“I stayed up all night waiting for you! I didn’t know where you were, you didn’t even answer, none of you did!,”

“I told them to turn their phones off,” he replied as if it was the simplest answer. As if he were answering ‘4… duh’ when asked what 2+2 equals.

The sound that escaped you sounded as if someone had their hands around your throat and you were fighting for your life.

“I needed you,”

“And I needed a break!,” the way he raised his voice had you rearing back against the couch cushion. He’s never raised his voice, “I have been taking care of Nico since the day he came home. I’ve been taking care of YOU, I’ve been bathing him, I’ve been bathing you, I’ve been feeding him and feeding you. I have a child and a wife, I’m not a single dad of two children!,”

All you can do is hold Nico close to your chest as Nicholas’ words soaked into your skin, making it hard for the air to reach your lungs, his words a colorless poison like carbon monoxide.

“Nicky…,” you whimper, “Don’t… don’t say that, I’m trying,”

“And I’m tired!!,” he’s still shouting and if he doesn’t stop, he’ll wake Nico and you can’t handle that right now, “I stayed out with the guys, we had a couple drinks and I crashed at Jolly’s and it was the first full nights rest I’ve gotten in a long time so no, I’m not going to apologize!,”

You just stared at him, scared of the fury that had taken over his once comforting eyes.

“I…,” you hiccup, “I’m… I’m sorry, I’ll be better,”

It finally clicks in Nicholas’ mind how he just reacted and his expression softened.

“Wait, honey. I don’t know why I just-,”

“It’s okay,” you smile through the tears, “I’m going to lay him down and take a shower,”

“I can help you,”

You slowly sit up to lay Nico down in his bassinet and you wrap your arms around yourself as a way to self soothe and make yourself seem smaller under his inquisitive gaze.

“N-no. I’ll be okay,” you try to walk past him but he reaches for your arm gently, slowly spinning you around but you avoid his eyes.

“I love you,” sighing in exhaustion, he says the three words you’ve been needing to hear for the longest. This hasn’t been easy for you either.

But there’s a twinge in his tone, almost as if he’s convincing himself.

You want to believe him, you want to relish the words that should have been coming out of his mouth unconditionally this entire time.

But there’s something deep within his eyes that reads he’s just saying it to placate you.

Not to mention, there’s a sweet smell coming off his clothes.

That of gourmand and ambroxan, like of a subdued jasmine soaked in a lactonic caramel.

It’s unfamiliar and it sure as hell doesn’t belong to you.

Despite getting better and working on your bond with Nico, Nicholas seemed to pull away more and more.

So for tonight, you cooked dinner and wore your favorite colored dress, a dress that he always complimented you in, it was his favorite of yours.

You wore a little make up to brighten up your eyes and make your skin seem hydrated and plump instead of dull and dry.

You had fed Nico and put him down for bed, just wanting some time alone with your husband. Your heart skipped a beat when you heard him enter your shared home, bouncing on the balls of your feet while you stood beside the candle lit dinner on the table.

Except when he entered the dining room, he seemed so unamused. His eyes scanned down your body and to the table with little to no emotion.

“What’s this?,” he questions, setting his jacket on the back of the table.

“Well I figured we hadn’t had a date night in ages, we could use some alone time”

“Y/N…,” he pinched the bridge of his nose as if he was annoyed with the whole set up, “I don’t really have the energy for this right now,”

“It’s just…,” your eyes blink in confusion at his words, trying to hide the sadness. He didn’t even say how pretty you looked, “It’s just dinner, Nicky. C’mon just sit,”

Reluctantly, he did so. It was his favorite dish and yet he looked at it as if it was the most unappetizing slop on his plate.

He doesn’t know that his little expressions and lack of energy are killing your spirit but you’re set on trying.

“It’s your favorite,” you take a small bite, watching as he just sits there with his arms on either side of his plate, fiddling with his thumbs. He’s just sitting as if he’s trying to process something.

“I even baked a cake today! It was a new recipe I got it from this Facebook group I’m in. I was thinking after dinner we could take a bubble bath together like we used to and share a piece! Just like old ti-,”

“I slept with someone else,” he blurts out.

Your lips twitch and your ears start ringing.

“Heh… what?,” your motions come to a halt and the smile is no longer on your face. The candle flames seemed to stop flickering and the world outside seemed to still as you zeroed in on him, “What did you say?,”

He leans forward on the table, moving the plate to the side to rest his head in his hands.

“I slept with-,”

“No, you raise your head and look at me,” you demanded. This has to be some sort of sick joke. Sometimes the guys can take their jokes a little too far. This has to be one of them, right?

He sighed heavily, hands dropping to the table with a light knock as his inked knuckles bump against the mahogany.

Those beautiful eyes that you found a home in, stare back at you and you feel so lost now. Like you’re in a place that seemed familiar but you’re experiencing amnesia.

You know this place but it’s distorted.

“I slept with someone else,” he said clearer.

Your breathing seemed to pick up, thumb cramping from how hard you’re gripping your fork.

“It was a mistake. Y/N please believe me. I-,”

“I was at home… taking care of our baby, battling the PPD, overexerting myself to get back into shape so that you would still want me and your first thought is to sleep with someone else?,”

Your voice was eerily calm, robotic almost. Your fork clanks against the plate when you lose your grip. Everything is starting to feel numb.

“Honey-,”

“You don’t get the call me that anymore,” throat clenching around the words, trying to keep your composure.

“I was drunk,” he tried to justify.

“Did,” clearing your throat, “Did you at least use p-protection?,”

“I don’t think we should get into the details,”

A painful wail echoed throughout the house. You knew his answer. Your hand flies to your mouth to keep your cries in so you don’t wake Nico.

The distance. The perfume. His anger and frustration. It all made sense.

“I would have given you what you wanted,” you tremble at your own words, “I don’t care that I was healing. I would have fucking given you what you needed,”

“No,” He whimpered, “Honey, I don’t know what happened. I drank and you know I don’t drink and it just-,”

Another woman… experiencing your husband in that way, when you needed him was Earth shattering. You hadn’t received a hug from him in weeks, no kiss from him in almost two months now, he doesn’t hold you and the sex stopped about two months before Nico was born.

“Was it the… did the stretch marks turn you off? I started using the cocoa butter, I just needed time,”

You felt so raw, like an exposed nerve and the pain won’t stop. You’re just trying to make sense of it all.

“Don’t do this, Y/N,” he had some nerve to cry right now. This was his doing. He went out and cheated.

“It’s a m-myth that we stay stretched out after birth, it would have felt the same,” you pleaded, “I just needed to heal. I-,”

“No I.. It’s not that. I know that’s a myth! I just, I had too much to drink,”

“I refuse to believe that,” you lament, “It had to be something about me that pushed you to her. I-I got better with keeping up on showering, I’m sorry you had to see me like that I was just so sad all the time I was stuck-,”

“Y/N !,” his fists bang on the table and you flinch, breath trembling.

“I don’t know why I did it and I’m sorry I did it. I’m so sorry, baby. I was… I was stressed out and I blacked out. I know that’s not acceptable but-,”

“You turned your back on your family,” you clenched your chest, it was feeling like your heart was actually breaking, “You do not turn your back on your family!,”

“I love you and Nico,”

“I take you, Y/N Y/L/N, as my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward,” you repeat his vows back to him and you can see him start to get sick to his stomach. How can you love someone and hurt them like this?

“I promise to cherish and love you, to be faithful and to support you through sickness and in health. For rich or for poor until death do us part,” you jab your finger in his direction, images flashing before your eyes from what was supposed to be the happiest day of your life, a day that now meant nothing.

“You said those words!! You lied to me that day, you broke your vows!”

“I didn’t lie. I love you. Y/N, please it was a mistake,”

“This is the last time you lie to me,” this was a man who you’d always follow to the ends of the Earth. The man who made life worth living but has now taken that will away.

“I’m not lying,” he’s groveling, “I drank to ease the pressure but I didn’t know when to stop a-and she was all over me, I thought she was you. I wasn’t in my right mind. I was drunk!,”

“As if being drunk makes it better?,” you whisper, you hate that you’re looking at him and his cheeks are wet. The fucking gall to act like the victim here.

“You gave me Nico! We tried for years. You watched me blame myself for not being able to conceive. You watched as I panicked when we found out we were having him and you watched me struggle to stay alive… watched me struggle to be a mother, you watched me fall apart and instead of keeping your word you run off to get your fucking dick wet?!,”

You stand up from the table, chair screeching against the floor and walk away into the kitchen where he unfortunately follows.

“I love you and I love Nico and I don’t want to lose that,”

“It’s a little too late for that!,”

“Please don’t say that,” he took a step forward but you took two back to get away from him.

“A man… who left me, while I was still recovering, to go party with his friends and sleep with another woman isn’t a man who loves me. You left me to take care of our baby boy knowing I was scared to be alone with him because I don’t know what the FUCK I’M DOING!! But nooo, you couldn’t wait long enough for me to heal. That’s selfishness, that’s not love!,”

You push him but he just stands there and takes it so you do it again and again until you’re pounding on his chest, sobbing at how things fell apart so fast.

“Y/N stop! Stop… Baby, stop!!!,” he grabs your wrists and holds you in place, eyes burning into yours. You don’t know who he is anymore.

“I wish you never told me!,” you gasp for air, “I have a son to take care of, you should have kept it to yourself, you should have continued to lie!,” you push him so hard he actually stumbles back into the wall.

“I couldn’t… it was eating at me, I-,”

“And I hope does for the rest of your life because we are done! You didn’t just hurt me. You hurt an innocent baby boy who doesn’t know any better and I’ll be damned if my son is raised by a ‘man’ who has no respect for his spouse!!!,”

He ran a hand through his hair, panicking about what he has done and how his family is falling apart before it even started. He did this.

There’s no one to blame.

He can’t blame you. You were healing all while falling apart. He knows how common PPD is and yet he centered himself in your own mental health struggles and now he’s here.

It’s his fault.

“How do I make this right, Y/N please? I want to make this work. I love you,”

“Do you have a time machine?,” the rhetorical question made this situation all more real. This was his reality now and he’s ruined something so good, and for what? The man who stood at the altar and declared his love for you in front of the most important people in your lives was not who he sees in the mirror anymore and he’s definitely not who you’re seeing now.

You grip the granite counter, head hanging low. You try to calm down, try to catch your breath but you just can’t.

Picking your head up, your eyes find his once more and your face is stoic, void of any emotions that are overwhelming your nervous system right now.

The hurt of his deception was taking over your body like a virus and there was no treatment to fix it, it has infected you and will slowly deteriorate you over time.

“So what are you going to say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me?,”

Seems dramatic. But it feels like you’re dying. This is a betrayal you never expected. You thought you’d be the exception in life. That you’d get the guy and white picket fence. But you ended up just being another broken hearted woman.

“I love you… so much. Please can we work this out?,”

His begging set something off inside of you and you lost it.

“You don’t cheat on someone you love!,” you threw a vase of flowers, “You don’t cheat on your fucking wife!,” fists pounding in your counter.

“You don’t go out drinking when your wife is left crying at home, beside herself with anxiety that she’ll hurt herself or her son!,” this time it’s a glass plate that you threw like a frisbee in which he dodged just in time.

“I needed you!,” you scream at the top of your lungs, “I needed you! Nico needed you, he needed us!!,”

“Y/N Stop!,” Nicholas shouted over the shattering glass and sobs.

“He needed us but instead you had some random bitch pinned against the wall in some sleazy club bathroom!,” the image makes you sick to envision.

After you throw the last item within your reach, you fall to your knees, clutching your chest as you let out the scream of a banshee.

It hurts to inhale and it feels like you’re having a heart attack.

“Y/N!,” Nicholas rushes over to you and you begin to hear Nico crying in the back.

“Baby, please. Come on!,” his voice becomes muffled like you’re underwater and you can’t make anything out.

He’s blurry and it feels like you’re stuck in a current, trying to keep your head above water, gasping for air but the waves keep dragging you under.

“Y/N!,” he’s shaking you to snap you out of it, to get you back down to Earth but you’re still fighting him off. Still throwing weak punches.

“Come on, baby. Come back to me,”

Your eyes are shut tight as you try to find your breath but it’s not working.

“I’m right here! Just open your eyes! I’m right here!,”

You can’t look at him right now. The fact that he’s even this close to you makes it worse.

“Y/N! Please you’re scaring me!!”

With one last stern shake, you open your eyes, a large gasp echoing in your ears and you’re covered in cold sweats, grasping at what you can reach which are the hot sheets on your bed.

“Hey, shhh. Shhh. I’m right here. It’s okay. You’re safe,” he’s brushing the hair out of your face, your bonnet was nowhere to be found.

“It was just another nightmare,” he whispers.

Your head turns to him and you take in your surroundings.

The white numbers on the digital clock read 2:17 am. Nicholas is in a plain white shirt and his briefs and the moon is shining through the sheer curtains of your room.

You look back to him and your face frowns as your eyes start to burn with the salty drops.

“Was it the same one?,” he asks, all you can do is shake your head.

“Y-you cheated,” you choked, “In this one you l-left me alone with Nico and cheated,”

You see the way the words tugged at his heart, bothering him greatly. He’s trying to hide the hurt on his face but he knows it’s not your fault that your mind is displaying these disconcerting scenes in your head.

“I’d never do that to you,” he caresses your cheek, “Baby, believe me. I would never fucking do that to you. I love you and Nico too much to do that,”

You throw yourself in his arms and just let it all out. This one felt so much more real than the other ones you’ve had before.

Nicholas held you for a bit before he started to ease away but you had a tight grip on his shirt, not wanting him to leave.

“I’ll be right back,” he reassured with a kiss to your forehead, “Nico is up. I’m gonna go get him,” he sat you up against the headboard as you tried to alleviate the uneasiness that soaked your body.

The three week old baby is heard whining when Nicholas brings him in the room.

“You wanna hold him? I think he’s hungry. If not I can get a bottle,”

“I wanna hold him. I need to hold him,”

Nicholas was so gentle when placing him in your arms, even helped you unbutton your night gown so Nico could start to feed. When the baby latched, he was subdued and curled into you, feeling safe in your embrace.

“Your doctor said the nightmares are normal,” Nicholas assured, rubbing his hands on your thighs to ease some of the tension you’re storing in your body.

“I just want them to stop,” You were exhausted. Almost every night since having Nico, you’d woken up in cold sweats and tears. Tonight was so much worse, you were sobbing and thrashing in your sleep, throwing punches at Nicholas as he tried to wake you, unbeknownst to you of course.

“I know it’s a lot but please don’t leave me. Don’t leave us, please,” you flex your jaw, trying to keep your cries to a minimum

“In sickness and in health, Y/N. I meant those words. I will never hurt you or our family, I’d rather die,”

The way he stared in your eyes, this is the man you married. The man in your dreams was just some monster your mind made up, a sick play on your fears.

The mind has a macabre way of playing into your insecurities, attacking itself, like a snake eating its own tail.

But Nicholas was there every step of the way, every nightmare, every therapy appointment, every good day and bad day until you felt like yourself again.

He kept his word.

And he didn’t break his vows.

[arrowfleur]

“What was that for?”

Some more thoughts on Darlin’s love languages and Sam’s HBS. Part 2 headcanons yay!

@darlin-collins <3

Darlin feels like they are never close enough to Sam, they will be laid directly on top of him and still trying to figure out ways to get closer

Sam, although quite outwardly stoic, does not only use his ‘pretty prose’ on Darlin’ (although they get the most and the best ones). Since his turning he is so aware of how short life can be and when he truly admires something about a person he’ll let them know.

This is usually with close pack/clan and also always when he’s just on his own with the person he’s talking too. But, if the timings right, he lets out these poetic observations, usually leaving the other person speechless before he quickly changes the topic. Not always realising the (positive) weight of his compliments.

On multiple occasions Sam has used words to describe Darlin that they didn’t know. Not because they’re dumb but because some of his vocabulary is rather niche. And upon looking it up they almost always perfectly describe Darlin’ in whatever situation he was talking about.

Although not the best at giving compliments, Darlin’ does tell Sam that he’s beautiful, gorgeous etc depending on the vibe he’s giving at the time and they’re the first person to ever call him anything other than handsome or hot.

‘You’re so pretty’

‘Pretty?!?’

‘Mhmm’

‘Darlin’ I ain’t-‘

‘Especially right now, with your hair like that’

‘Alright…. Well, thank you.’

I’ve mentioned before in a head canon post that they like it when Sam runs a finger up and down the bridge of their nose. Darlin’ will also full on nuzzle into Sam when cuddling/hugging. Especially into his collarbone/neck

Although comfortable with (platonic) touch from people they know, Darlin doesn’t like it unexpectedly, nor will they usually initiate it.

Unless someone they love is upset, then they’ll be getting a hug or an arm wrapped around them without any hesitation (if that’s what they like ofc)

Sam feels like he’ll never be able to fully voice how much Darlin’ means to him, Darlin’s heart practically skips a beat when he simply calls them beautiful. (Or when he makes a joke or complains or laughs or….)

When comforting Darlin’ about something, Sam often adresses problems/reasons for their behaviour/feelings that Darlin’ hadn’t realised themselves yet. He is so careful with his wording and extremely observant of them.

Darlin’ although previously independent to a fault, realised that the best comfort they could give Sam was to let him help them. On multiple occasions Darlin’ has let him heal paper-cuts and small bruises (which is a ridiculous waste of magic in their opinion) because otherwise he’s not going to stop thinking about it.

Sam knows all of Darlin’s tells by their body language and Darlin’ know Sam’s by his tone and the amount he’s speaking for example: if he says he’s ‘fine’ then he’s not but if he says he’s ‘alright’ then he probably is

The same way Sam felt bad about not being able to give Darlin every physical action that they wanted Darlin feels bad that they can’t verbalise their feelings for him correctly.

Sam found a scrunched up love letter from Darlin’ and keeps it in his wallet. They’d wanted to write down their feelings so they wouldn’t mess it up when sharing them with him but ultimately hated the end result.

They do however leave little notes for him sometimes while he’s sleeping , since they tend to work on different schedules, that Sam also dearly treasures and keeps in a shoe box.

Sam is really good at writing professional emails and has on multiple occasions written some for Angel and Babe when they’ve had problems with their bosses

The perfect mix of polite, professional and passive aggressive

Another way Darlin’ helps Sam is by reminding him of his talents/abilities and how he uses them for so much good, they will not let that man be humble. His #1 cheerleader FR.

Even with all of this in mind both of their most comfortable ways of communicating their love is through acts of service. That way they get to keep up their grumpy outward personas that the pack/clan have long since learned to see right through.

[babydollmarauders]

KIDS — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

FAITHLYNN’S 500 CELLY!

🌷: “They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.” & “That was kind of hot.” & “How is my wife more badass than me?” with Jack.

warnings: toxic mother (readers mom), profanity

as a mom, one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone else tries to parent my children. it happens most often with my own mother. she and i never had a great relationship, and i thought it may get better now that i have my own kids, but i was wrong, it’s only gotten worse.

she makes passive aggressive comments about Jack and i’s parenting choices, tries to undermine my decisions, and has even completely disregarded my words completely. but the real cherry on top is what’s happening right now.

Jack just got back from a roadie, and he was spending time with the kids when my mom showed up at our house. when i asked her what she was doing here, she said that she ‘thought i might need some help with the kids while Jack slept’. which rubbed me the wrong way because first of all, she knows he always sleeps on the plane so that he can play with Eli and Luella when he gets home; and second of all, she acts as if i don’t take care of my children all on my own the entire time he’s traveling.

“mom, what the hell?” i stage whisper, standing across from her in the kitchen. i glance out the kitchen doorway towards the living room, where Jack lays on the floor on his stomach, between our four year old and two year old, coloring with them. “you know full well that we’re perfectly fine.”

“well, i just wasn’t sure. you know, he spends so little time with them already, and he just got back from a long trip, i figured he would be tired. so i came over to take care of them so he could sleep.” she feigns innocence, raising her hands up in mock surrender.

“do you realize how bad he already feels about being away from them? he does the best that he can in order to spend as much time with them as possible, and you coming here, just assuming that he’d be giving up any time he has with them, is rude and disrespectful.” i tell her.

“well now that i’m here, i’d like to spend some time with my grandchildren.” she says.

“fine. whatever.” i storm out of the kitchen, and Jack’s head pops up when i walk back into the living room. his eyebrows raise at the sight of my irritated expression and i shake my head to tell him that i don’t wanna talk about it. his attention is pulled away when Eli calls for him, telling him to look at his drawing, and Jack praises our son’s art skills.

my mother follows me into the living room, and Luella stands to come show me her picture.

“look! mommy!” i crouch down, looking at her page of multicolored scribbles.

“it’s amazing, Lu! you did such a good job!” i tell her, my smile wide as i clap for her. she giggles and turns to show her grandmother the drawing, but my mom pays no attention to the art.

“oh, Luella.” my mother scolds. “look at your pretty dress, it’s all covered in popsicle. you have got to be more careful. and you shouldn’t have been eating a popsicle this early in the day.”

i roll my eyes. she can’t even help criticizing a two year old.

“she wanted one after lunch, and she did a good job with her food, so we gave her one, mom.” i tell her, my tone hostile.

“you need to stop giving them so much sugar.” she replies. “no wonder they have trouble listening. all that sugar and barely any adult supervision”

“they’re not your kids, back the fuck off.” i say lowly through a passive aggressive smile. “they have trouble listening sometimes because they’re children. and they have plenty of adult supervision.”

“i’m just trying to help you, y/n. lord knows you could use it.” she huffs. my eyes go wide as i look at Jack to see if he heard that, and i know he did because the muscle in his jaw ticks from clenching it. but i know he won’t say anything because he doesn’t want to offend his mother-in-law.

“Jack.” my words are sweet, but venom drips from my voice, and i square my shoulders to prepare for an argument. “can you please take Luella to get changed? and take Eli with you.”

my husband jumps up at my words, corralling our kids into Lu’s room.

“what the fuck is your problem?” my tone is harsh as i attempt to keep my voice down. “those are my children. if i needed your help, i would ask for it. i’m sick and tired of you coming over here and making comments about our parenting or judging my husband for how he takes care of our family. Jack loves his job. he loves hockey. and yes, he has to leave sometimes, for a week at most, but he is the best father to our children.”

“y/n-” she starts.

“no! i’m not done. if you want to continue to be a part of their lives, you’re going to stop with the passive aggressive comments. you’re going to quit undermining our authority. and for the love of god, you are going to stop criticizing my children! you already fucked up my childhood and i will not let you ruin theirs.” i’m nearly yelling at this point, my anger reaching new levels. “do i make myself clear?”

my mother huffs, eyeing me up and down before nodding.

“good. now i’d like for you to leave. i would like to spend time with my children, whom i love very much, and their amazing and selfless father.” i tell her. my mom spins around, stalking towards the front door and i don’t move until i hear the door shut. it’s then that i finally let my shoulders slump, heaving out a deep sigh.

Jack steps out of the kids room, the children trailing after him as he makes his way over to me. his hands grip my waist as he pulls me against him, a smirk gracing his lips.

“that was kind of hot. like, seriously, how is my wife more badass than me?” he leans down, pulling me in for a kiss. his lips are soft and taste like the grape popsicle he shared with Luella earlier. “you did great, baby.”

“you think so? i wasn’t too harsh?” i ask, tears stinging my eyes.

“no. you said what needed to be said. i’m so proud of you for standing up to her.” he mutters against my lips.

“thank you, babe.”

-

-

[trendywaifus]

hello !! could i request sfw and nsfw relationship headcanons for tingyun ? i love her so much but there’s not a lot of content for her </3

there isn’tttttt, i wish we had more content for herrr and you’re only one who reqed for her! gahhhh! yae and tingyun’s designs are so good, I love fox girls :>

— well well, you managed to swoon tungyun, why aren’t you lucky! as good as she is in dealing with people everyday as the amicassador and keeping her feelings at check so often, she never expected herself to fall in love with you. then again, how could she not when you’re so wonderful? you’re like a breath of fresh air.

— tingyun is a affectionate partner and she sees no reason to hide the fact that you’re her lover. honestly, i see people interested in her on the daily because of how well-spoken and beautiful she is but too bad her heart is only for one person!

— she loves chilling with you in the sleepless earl tea house. tingyun has so many stories to share and most of em consist of how goofy some of the locals can be. she still can’t believe that someone told her she looks like she’s related to a fox shrine maiden on some novel that she’s never heard before. you want to know why they even thought that? because she’s also a “ fox woman “ who has the “ same aesthetic” as the aforementioned maiden. that gotta be racist right?

— she loves cuddles after a long day! tingyun relishes at the thought of resting her head on your chest while you stroke her ears and scratch around the base of them, the feeling is like sweet heaven. she purrs, her brown tail swaying side to side in delight.

— has a thing for neck kisses, or hell your neck in general! kissing at the sensitive spots on your neck and feeling you shiver against her makes her feel a type of way. she wants to mark you so bad but she can’t, it’ll expose too much. she rather mark you in places only she can see.

— she def scents you, yup that’s right, gatekeeping yo ahh. if non-foxian tries to flirt with you or anybody in that matter, they’re met with a immediate passive-aggressive verbal attack from her.

— tingyun lets you groom her fur!! it’s one of her fav activities with you. she finds it so domestic when y’all sit and you comb her tail with delicacy. sometimes she gets so happy, she wags her tail and it ends up swiping against your nose. tingyun scrambles to apologize to you while you sneeze nonstop.

“ a-ah, i’m so sorry darling! “ tingyun quickly turns around to you sneezing, she smiles sheepishly. “ it appears like my tail has a mind of its own it, h-haha! “ your sneezes dies down after a few moments and she takes the chance to cup your cheek, tracing circles against your cheekbone apologetically. “ i’m fine, yunyun’, no need to apologize. “ you send her a reassuring smile, kissing the inside of her wrist. your hands found her waist, “ though, may i have a kiss for compensation? “ tingyun giggles, dropping her hand to your thighs and motioned closer to your face, her jade eyes sparking with mischief. “ gladly, my love. “

nsfw

— switch. she’s a switch but she’s leaning towards the submissive side though. tingyun enjoys being spoiled if it’s by you! it’s part of her nature to shamelessly indulge herself in certain things like this. oh, how she loves it when you lure her in by the waist, traveling your hand near her tail and describe to her how much you want her laid out on the bed seeing stars.

— loves it when you praise her while she’s giving you head, pleasuring you by rubbing her pussy against yours, or when you’re deep inside of her. when you tell her how good she’s doing with that enticing smile on your lips it drives her crazy.

— if you merely play with her tail and ears with a lil technique, she’ll cum on the spot. she’s sensitive in the right hands.

— tingyun’s a scratcher, she doesn’t do it intentionally but she claws at your back or anything she can get her hands on. she’ll sulk if she ruins one of her fav sheets and blankets. if she scratches your back to the point of bleeding, she makes up for it x100. she tries to cut her nails every so often to avoid it.

— oh, did i say that tingyun’s also a creamer?

[thefishermansharbor]

Poisonous Jealousy, 

The Arcana x GN!Reader 

Synopsis: Headcanons about Lucio, Asra, and Portia feeling jealous of how their partner acts with someone. 

Asra Alnazar:

Unlike how the rest of his personality is, Asra gets jealous easily and often. He can’t help his possessiveness, so he doesn’t act on it often. He’s good at containing himself.

Asra feels a big deal of guilt for all of his envy, and whether you mind or not, he worries it’ll make you feel uncomfortable or controlled. 

He respects you and trusts you to not cheat on him but still he can’t help but overthink a bit before ultimately intercepting. 

Still feels guilty about it even if you say he was doing you a favor. 

You smile warmly at the shopper. “ Let me know if I can help you find anything, sweetie!” 

Asra knew that this wasn’t special, and that you called everyone nicknames – but the way the stranger seemed to enjoy it got under his skin. He couldn’t help but curl his hands into fists as he watched the stranger’s expression twitch into a smirk. 

The stranger had a likeness to your lover, except the stranger was taller, and had a mischievous feeling to him. The man spoke, 

“ I was just wondering what time you got off work.” 

Asra knows you’d never ever cheat on him, but his blood boils. There’s a slim slick feeling in the back of his mind as he watches the stranger inch closer to you. He can’t help himself but intervene. 

He walks right in between you and the man, throwing his arm over your shoulder and giving your cheek a quick kiss. The man rolls his eyes, suddenly moving backwards. 

“ I’m sorry to say that my PARTNER here will be busy with me after their shift. Maybe another time.” Asra offers the man a polite smile, but under it he’s practically seething with disgust for the stranger. 

The man shakes his head in distaste, a little humiliated. “ – yeah whatever, I wasn’t that interested in you anyways.” He leaves the drapey magic shop, Asra’s grip on you only tightening while the man walks out. 

“ What was that about?” You ask. 

“ Sorry, I really didn’t like how close he was getting. I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable.” In part, this statement is true.. But the bigger reason behind it was to satisfy that possessiveness that had been crawling around in the back of his mind. You shrug, and he kisses you quickly. He trusts you.

Portia Devorak:

She doesn’t get jealous at all. Actually, she prides herself on the trust she has for you. She lets almost anything slide, as long as the person she’s jealous of isn’t physically or emotionally hurting you.

But if it’s a particularly bad day and someone is really bothering her - she’ll try to one-up them in some shape or form. They’re talking about how good they are at darts? She’s better and she’ll prove she is. 

She also does something nice for you, to prove that she’s the better lover than whoever the other person is. 

She’s passive aggressive because she doesn’t want to be outright rude to another person for the reason being only that they were hitting on you.

One of the other pirates was bragging to you about his exceptional axe-throwing skill. From what Portia could see, you were interested in the conversation and were happy to hear it. 

Portia smiled, she was so glad you were bonding with the ship crew. But then again, she couldn’t help this inkling of a feeling. Was she jealous? No, no.. she trusted you. She just couldn’t help but think about it. The other pirate was your type, and was far more reliable than the mischievous Portia. 

She runs the situation over in her head - she was pretty good at axe - throwing, and she could probably take him in a competition.. She walked over and sat down next to the two of you. 

“ Hi my love! What’re you guys up to?” She said excitedly. You began to speak, but the pirate cut you off. 

“ I was just telling this beauty,” He winked at you, “ about my expertise.” Portia nodded, her hand taking yours and squeezing it gently. “ – how great!” She smiled so wide it could’ve been a frown. 

“ What are you an expert on, then?” She asks.

“ Ax - throwing.” He said proudly, crossing his arms. Portia’s eyes narrowed, still holding that forced smile. “ GREAT. Just GREAT. Should we do a bit of that, then?” 

“ That's maybe not the safest idea.” You offer sheepishly. The tension in the area pooling, Portia looks at you. 

“ you’re right. Do I ever tell you how smart you are, my love? You’re just brilliant!” She says loudly. The other pirate seemed to be starting to get the hint now. But Portia kept going, 

“ You’re also a brilliant kisser. You’re so sweet to me, you’re the best partner I could ask for.” She exclaims, extra sweetly. The other pirate seems a little unsure of himself now, his eyes running around the room. 

“ – so, back to you.” Portia said finally, looking back at the other pirate. He stands and brushes himself off, “ well, maybe I should uh.. Leave you two for a moment.” 

She nods, and waits for him to leave before kissing you. She felt like a winner when she did that, as if it was some sort of ‘ impress my lover! ‘ challenge that she had won. 

Lucio Morgasson:

Will laugh it off at first. But if that person makes you uncomfortable - god forbid, he will cause a scene. 

This grown man will do literally ANYTHING to get whoever was hitting on you to leave you alone. I kid you not, this grown man will bark at someone in order for them to get away from you.

He loves you and would do whatever needed to protect you or your honor, but also a bit of his own pride and jealousy can get in the way when he tries to intercept anyone trying to romance you in front of him. 

Lucio accepts that you wouldn’t two-time him, but he wouldn’t mind showing off in front of you. He likes it when you’re proud of him. 

You were at one of Lucio’s famously good parties. Everyone was happy and excited, dancing and twirling. You were talking to a foreign diplomat, drink in hand. 

She smiled widely at you. Most of your conversation was about Vesuvia, but it started to edge onto a bit of flirting.. 

“ I knew Vesuvia to be the home of marvelous talent, but I didn’t know it was such a hotspot for gorgeous people like yourself,” She smiled, twirling her hair and being extra sweet with you. Lucio had been partying loudly and proudly like he always does, when he caught sight of you being a little too friendly with one of the guests. 

He walked over, he thought it was a hilarious and desperate attempt from the diplomat to secure some false friendship. He chuckled to himself, she couldn’t possibly be serious… but then she was. 

She was raving to you about how spectacular of a conversation partner you were, and Lucio felt.. Embarrassed? Were you liking it? Would she be better than him for you? Before his thoughts can cloud him, he walks over and smirks at the both of you. 

“ How’s the party going?” He asks you. You smile and speak, “ I’m just chatting around, meet my friend, she’s very sweet–” Lucio’s temper breaks, and he takes a deep breath. 

He picks you up. Completely up, as if you weigh nothing. “ I LOVE YOU!” He then shouts. A couple guests look over at you three, but most shove it off and go back to whatever they were doing. 

The diplomat just sort of stares, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. She doesn’t know what to make of this, so she goes quiet. Lucio then carefully places you down, and glares at her. 

“ .. sooo, your name?” He says almost bitterly. She stutters out a response, but it’s unintelligible and really quiet. After a few more minutes of awkward silence, the diplomat walks off defeatedly. Lucio grins, he thinks to himself, that’s a job well done.

[eefaevie]

✨ my official good omens s3 prediction post ✨

which accidentally I guess comes with a side-order of analysis and a soupçon of meta because I can’t shut up

The quote "The plans for Armageddon are going wrong. Only Crowley and Aziraphale working together can hope to put it right. And they aren’t talking." is intentionally misleading.

I think with Aziraphale gone, Crowley is going to become Grand Duke of Hell. He’s hurt, he’s tired, he’s got nothing to lose anymore. He’s also a bit of a dramatic petty bitch (affectionate), and after suffering what he considers the ultimate betrayal from Aziraphale, he wants to hit him where it would hurt equally by joining the “bad guys” fully. Crowley thinks of himself as unforgivable, and since (in his mind) Aziraphale refuses to “see” him for who he really is, he’s going to force him to by acting out like this (beside the fact that we know that this isn’t actually who Crowley is, but he’s injured and lashing out, even if it hurts himself, too.)

So, that quote. The plans for armageddon are going wrong. as in heaven can’t get it to start. And the only way they CAN get it to start is to get the Grand Duke of Hell and the Supreme Archangel to work together, which they are refusing to do. Think about all those meetings between Gabriel and Beelzebub — those definitely didn’t start off as dates, they were business meetings. And so Aziraphale and Crowley REFUSE to speak to each other (with MAXIMUM pettiness and passive aggressive comedy) because they’re both mad at each other for their mutual miscommunication, but also because they KNOW that if they do work together they’ll end up fucking it up somehow (and actually set the second coming back on track, which they obviously don’t want). The one thing that is a common thread through Good Omens is that Aziraphale and Crowley are actually kind of useless at their jobs, and they usually end up accomplishing the opposite of whatever it is they are supposed to do. Aziraphale is still in the grip of heaven, and can be manipulated — while Crowley is probably still terrified of Satan, and now that he’s kind of recklessly agreed to such a big promotion, that’s now his immediate superior.

(So really, if you’re useless at your job, and consistently do everything wrong, and you’re trying to stop a massive project — the best place to be would probably be in charge of that project, no?)

So anyways, cue Muriel being used for the most immature go-betweens (“Muriel, dear, please tell the Grand Duke that I won’t be able to make our dinner reservation this evening because he is a lying snake.” “Muriel, tell the Supreme Arseangel that I never made the reservation anyways and his holiestness was presumptuous to assume so.” etc etc)

I’m also betting that the Metatron orchestrated his offer to Aziraphale very intentionally, because he knows that they’re each other’s most precious thing, and he knew that raising Crowley would be the best possible offer to get Aziraphale to agree, but also, he knew that Crowley himself would never agree to it. Which left Aziraphale in a tricky position. He’s still too afraid of heaven to back out, and by separating him from Crowley, the Metatron thinks he has succeeded in both eliminating the biggest threat to the second coming (the earth’s only professional apocalypse-thwarters with extremely powerful joint miracles) and planted (what he believes to be) a huge pushover of an angel in the seat of power — essentially a puppet for the Metatron’s commands.

(I’m not even going to get into the alleged threat of the book of life at this point, but that’s it own big bag of worms)

Problem is, the Metatron severely underestimated how much these two are idiots, how far they’re willing to go for love (or how far they’ll go when they believe their love has been scorned), and again, I cannot stress this enough — how much they’re both idiots.

Crowley accepting the position of Grand Duke seems out of character, until you realize it absolutely is not. (The same thing goes for Aziraphale accepting the position of Supreme Archangel, btw.) With everything else happening, it’s going to be effectively Crowley’s only option — Aziraphale is gone, the second coming is coming, and there’s a convenient little vacancy at the top of Hell’s hierarchy. He’ll take it because he’s upset and hurt by Aziraphale, but he’ll also take it because he’s angry, and it’s the only way he can possibly have any impact on what happens next.

I’d go so far as to say that Crowley loves Earth primarily because he loves Aziraphale, and Aziraphale loves Earth. Crowley is always the one to suggest running away when the going gets tough, because his top priority is always Aziraphale’s safety. If the Earth ends up a casualty, well, boohoo, at least he’s got his Angel with him. Now, though, he’s got no Aziraphale — so what’s the point in sticking to Earth? Remember how he pretty much immediately gave up on stopping the apocalypse when he thought Aziraphale was dead? Yeah. (In fact, he probably realizes very quickly that if he wants any hope of having Aziraphale back and sharing their lives together — this time for real — he has to take drastic measures to make sure Earth and humanity survives. He’s an optimist, and he’s also selfish.)

So, surprise, Metatron! You just took these two will-they-won’t-they eternal virgins and made them business partners. Which is an issue.

Because remember, for one supreme archangel to fall in love with the grand duke of hell during dubious business meetings makes a good story. For it to happen twice makes it look like there is some kind of… institutional problem.

We’ve taken the “workplace” in “workplace comedy” and dialled it up to 12. Now it’s not two salarymen from rival companies just kinda begrudgingly doing what they’re told until they don’t, it’s two high-ranking executives from rival companies who’ve decided they’re in love with each other, they’re done with this shit, and they’re taking the whole industry down from the inside.

Never forget that Good Omens is, at its core, a comedy. I believe we will get the romantic south down ending, for sure, but the path to get there is going to be a farce. They’re not talking — perhaps only in the business sense — so who knows the hijinks and shenanigans and making out they’re going to make everyone around them put up with this season. Aziraphale orchestrated an entire Jane Austen ball for Crowley before they’d even touched mouths. They’re going to be insufferable and I’m praying for Muriel’s sanity.

Finally, the final element of my prediction: Jesus will be there, probably. Maybe even Adam, too! Maybe it’ll even be lost celestial baby pt. 2: electric boogaloo. (as you can see my priorities are mostly regarding what happens with Aziraphale and Crowley lmao)

(and also, you know that dinky little half miracle they pulled together for jimbo? They were a couple of nobodies then. Imagine a full-powered joint miracle between a Supreme Archangel and a Grand Duke?)

(…Imagine a full-powered joint miracle between two supreme archangels and two grand dukes? 👀 ok ok who knows but also I’m not convinced we’ve seen the last of beez and gabe)

ok bye ❤️

[all-pacas]

i read all your house fics over the past few days and i love your style of writing. the dialogue fits the characters and show so well, idk what it is about it but it just clicks in my head and i can hear their voices while i read it. and all of their internal monologues are just perfect. i love the grasp you have on the ducklings' backstories and motivations its seriously inspired :))

now im trying to work on the oneshot idea ive been stewing over for an entire year, about chase being house's only fellow pre-canon, which seems like a weird and absurd situation to me. the idea is that something must have happened for him to basically be secured as house's fellow, but he also has to realize himself that he passed house's mysterious criteria. any specific tips for writing him? especially younger him?

Oh wow that’s so flattering! And SUCH a good idea for a fanfic, I’m also lowkey obsessed with the mysterious year (!) Chase spent with House pre-series lmao. Like I think we all agree, there’s no way House would have kept him just because his dad called, right? I actually can’t think of a way to get someone fired faster than telling House he has to employ this kid.

I have no idea for tips, because I feel like I still kind of am like ??? when it comes to Chase. But I’m also always happy to yell about god’s least favorite princess:

Chase is kinda passive-aggressive! He will do his best to avoid and freeze out his problems. When everyone is trying to talk to him about his dad, he ignores, refuses to engage, literally walks away. When House confronts him about the nun in S1, Chase doesn’t actually confirm that he’s Catholic, even: he just changes the subject to “I bet the nun’s boss knows about her.” By implication, he confirms House is right, but he never says shit. He’s private as hell. Likewise, he gets touchy when people “pry.” We also see it in his relationship with Cameron, to an extent: it bothers him for a long while that she never makes him feel welcome at her apartment, but he doesn’t say anything, just lowkey makes sure they’re always at his. 

He also tends to be conflict avoidant. When Cameron and Foreman are fighting over the “stolen” article, they both try to get him on their side, and he tells them both what they want to hear. He doesn’t defend himself against House’s bullying, Foreman tells him to his face a couple of times that he doesn’t like him and Chase says nothing. However, this doesn’t mean he’s that easy going. We see with his dad he will hold a fucking grudge forever — even in S5 he’s talking about how much he hated him, and in S8 and how he talks about his mother, we see he hasn’t stopped hating her, either. Also he calls out Foreman a couple of times, either by just being a little bitch (telling a patient “Foreman doesn’t like me either” while Foreman is right there) or by just laying things out for him (S7′s “oh, you think you’re better than me?” stairway rant). It also doesn’t mean Chase is totally spineless and has no boundaries. With Cameron, he actually dumps her when she tries to avoid him over the engagement, and has no problem calling off the wedding over sperm-gate. When things matter to him, he’ll stand up for himself; he just prefers to freeze out or avoid conflict. He also has no problem in confronting House when he feels like it. He’s not very scared of House, House just doesn’t bother him.

He also gains more… let’s call it confidence… as time goes on. Chase always seems to be pretty secure in his self-worth and idea of himself (and NEVER willingly opens up to other people), but over time he definitely becomes a little punchier. In S1-3 he’s willing to just sort of roll his eyes and take it when things happen, but by S4-5 he’s happy to call House or Foreman out and argue instead of just letting things go (passive-aggressively). He never gets any better at emotional honesty (his “punch House instead of talking about his divorce” thing is straight out of his S1 daddy issues playbook), but he does grow something of a spine. I imagine before the show started, he was even less prone to fighting back beyond snarky comments.

He genuinely finds House funny. He almost always laughs at House’s stupidest jokes, and as much as he’s accused of being an asskisser, he. Really just does think House is funny. Foreman and Cameron hardly ever react to House’s little comments, Chase is always grinning along. This is important. Chase’s sense of humor sucks! He is an idiot! He likes House. In S1 he says he likes how direct House is, there’s the way he always laughs at House’s jokes, he is absolutely a huge suck up also but he also likes House. I think pre-canon this was absolutely still the case. House comes in all prepared to make this little nepo-baby cry and instead Chase not just imprints on him but thinks he’s so funny and admires how mean he is and how smart he is. Chase really likes his job. He says it a lot, but I don’t know if it gets focused on all that much. He ratted to Vogler because he wanted to keep his job, he makes comments many times about how he won’t risk his job. He likes working for House, he wants to keep doing it, he will ass-kiss and work hard and throw people under the bus to keep it: with the Vogler situation, he was pretty willing to fight Cameron for it, and he and Cameron usually get along!

He’s very observant when he wants to be. He gets House; from his little monologue to Wilson in Private Lives we see he basically can analyze “House is looking at a book” and figure out it’s a fake book and that House is really invested in it. In S3, he’s able to pick apart House and Foreman’s resignation drama over like. Two sentences. In ‘Nobody’s Fault’ in S8, Chase is pissed with House (for really the first time ever), but also sees through his excuses to do differentials in the OR as excuses for House to check in, he knows House is worried: in S5, Chase realizes House is broken up about his father’s death without even seeing him. This is also something House appreciates about Chase, a lot. He says in S3 it’s why he hired him; House also tends to “reward” Chase by being pretty honest with him. When Chase asks him something, House usually answers him honestly. (with Foreman’s resignation, as soon as Chase calls him out, House admits it and they have an honest conversation on what House should do next; in S5, House wants a surgery done for personal reasons and admits it and why when Chase asks.) 

I think part of this is because Chase actually very rarely does ask House anything, and he never makes demands on House or his feelings. He accepts at face value that House is “fine” during Detox, he doesn’t try and fix or change him, in “Half Wit” when the others are scheming to get House tested or make amends with him, Chase tries (and fails) to act normal, and then just wants a hug. Compare like. Cameron, who keeps trying to change or push House into acting how she wants him to act (blackmailing him into a date, for example). I’m not saying House doesn’t care about her, just. House is more open with Chase than he is with a lot of people who aren’t Wilson. Also, Chase does not return the favor. He literally ran up the stairs rather than tell House about his daddy issues, lmao. It’s kind of crazy that House is arguably more open and honest with Chase than vice-versa.

Finally, despite all his secret seething passive-aggression and daddy issues, and the fact that honestly Chase could really benefit from therapy and anti-depressants? He is not a sad uwu baby. This is sort of a general rant, but. You see it all the tiiime in fanfic. And yes, he’s super fucked up. But he’s cheerful most of the time! He likes doing crazy things, he is often pretty sarcastic and makes bad jokes! He’s a flirt, even before his S7 manwhore days — in early seasons we see him check out girls in the hallways, flirt at parties, with residents and nurses. He has hobbies (he’s fairly sporty, if Cameron’s “your apartment was decorated by a drunk rugby player” comment is anything to go on), he likes to read and do crossword puzzles and surfs and skis. He tells bad jokes. He tends to be fairly self confident — he doesn’t just take it when he’s accused of making mistakes, he has no problems with social situations or interactions, he hilariously thinks women are attracted to his personality and not his looks, like, he thinks he has a winning personality, that’s incredibly funny. He’s not arrogant in that he doesn’t really have much of a need to prove himself (he’s pretty fucking unambitious, actually), but he definitely has the Good Looking Rich Kid mentality where he thinks he belongs in any given situation and that people like him. He also has the social skills to back it up. Because he represses and avoids and seethes instead of expressing emotions, he comes off as generally cheerful and laid back, you know? Why be sad when you can just repress everything and flirt with nurses instead!

Finally finally: he's a huge fucking crybaby. Have you seen how red his eyes get. He might try to be stoic and repress but he tears up at the drop of a hat. First time House bullied him he probably started to cry.

[actiniumwrites]

IM OBSESSED WITH HEIZOU RN SO I’D APPRECIATE SOME GENERAL HCS WITH HIM BEING OUR BOYFRIEND, HUSBAND, LITERALLY ANYTHINF I LOVE HIM SL MUCH OR A SCENARIO WHERE WE’RE WORKPLACE RIVALS AND SOMETHING ABOUT THAT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE FLARE JUST MAKES HEIZOU AND READER PUSH AND PULL MORE

BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS

synopsis: what some of the genshin boys would be like as your boyfriend <3

characters: kaeya, heizou, alhaitham, and itto x gn! reader

warnings: some swearing and the fact that i’m pretty sure some of these might be ooc (i struggle with headcanons tbh)

notes: omg i love heizou sm rn too honestly when do i not 😭. anyway, i hope you don’t mind that i added in more characters for this :)

kaeya:

contrary to what some people might believe, i think kaeya would actually be a more private-relationship kinda guy

he’d definitely make it known you guys were together, but he wouldn’t flaunt his relationship all over mondstadt

he appreciates privacy and the moments he has with you

he can never wait to finish work because of how badly he misses you all the time — especially if he’s on an expedition

he’s very teasing with you still, but not as much as everyone else. he’s definitely more down to earth and himself when he’s around you

whether they’re silly or deeply emotional and loving ones, the cavalry captain definitely writes you letters

he LOVES to cook for you, but it’s even better when you guys cook together (he’ll never admit it though)

super bashful about you, but he tries to cover it up with his charming and nonchalant facade (the only person he can’t hide it from is diluc)

speaking of diluc, kaeya claims he hates that you get along so well with him, but deep down he’s so unbelievably happy about it

cold? he’ll always give you his jacket or bring something warm for you just in case (especially because of his cryo vision)

overall just a super sweet and passionate boyfriend. he’s never loved anyone as much as you and will always value you above everything and everyone else

heizou:

claims it was love at first sight when he first met you, even though you weren’t a big fan of him at first

absolutely head over heels for you and makes it known

very flirty and constantly tries pick up lines on you even though you’re already dating him

i think he’d be very physically affectionate and likely always try to be near you whenever he can, whether that’s standing next to you, holding your hand, hugs, whatever

he likes it when you fake banter with him, but sometimes he can get a little down (so don’t make jokes about his detective abilities)

when he does get down, he gets EXTRA clingy. he particularly likes to lay down with you/ on you and just rest for awhile

he’s independent and confident, but definitely needs some occasional words of encouragement/ pep talks

heizou absolutely adores when you guys just get to talk about your interests. he really appreciates when you listen to his detective work and stories and is equally appreciative of your stories and interests you talk about

he’s SUCH a good listener. anything you wanted to tell him — boring or not — he’d listen. he just loves listening to your voice

tries to cook for you sometimes, but he isn’t the best at it. he honestly loves your cooking far more than his. though, sometimes he’ll use his cooking as an excuse to take you out to a nice restaurant and have a date

he can be a little over the top, but he’s a really great boyfriend

alhaitham:

alhaitham as a boyfriend is pretty rough around the edges

he can be sappy sometimes, but he honestly usually doesn’t see the point in it and prefers to be straightforward all the time — regardless of the fact that you’re dating

his compliments can sound harsh, but you know he means well

never says anything he doesn’t mean. he just wants to make sure you understand his love for you is completely and utterly genuine

arguments happen frequently because of his personality, but he’s pretty quick to resolve them once he comes to his senses and realizes his wrongs

he’s not a shitty boyfriend though, don’t get me wrong

he’s protective of you and always watches out for you. though, sometimes you argue he’s too protective

not the most flirty, but if he sees someone else flirting with you, this man suddenly becomes a bit of a different person (jealous much?)

lends you his clothes a lot. and he won’t admit it, but he really likes the way you look in them

enjoys reading with you. days where you just get to spend quiet time leaning on one another just reading books are his favorite

cooks for you all the time and is VERY good at it. sometimes you wonder where he picked up the skill

he’s much more of a quiet and private boyfriend rather than being super outgoing about your relationship. he probably even wanted to keep your relationship secret at first

overall a very blunt but still very loving boyfriend. you love him all the same though <3

itto:

you can’t tell me itto wouldn’t be a good boyfriend

like heizou, he’s head over heels for you except he tries to play it off all the time (but fails every single time)

he just can’t hold back is adoration

he loves hugging you…like an abnormal amount. when he get’s excited, he hugs you. when he gets sad, he hugs you. when he’s laughing, he hugs you. you get the point

he’s obviously not the smartest and can be a bit dense when it comes to certain things or emotions, but he’s always willing to try to help and understand you no matter what

and sometimes he doesn’t understand you, but he’s always listening. in fact, i think itto would be a really great listener

super protective and easily jealous. that, too, he tries to play off but he’s not fooling anybody

he’s always got your back and you’ve always got his. to shinobu, he calls you his partner in crime

he uses you as motivation to not get in jail, because even though he’s always hated it, he hates it even more now because that he can’t see you

very comfortable to be around, and he does that on purpose. he’d never want to make you uncomfortable and always makes sure you feel welcomed with him and with the gang

super loving and always makes sure you feel loved and secure. but make sure to do the same for him, because he can definitely get a little insecure sometimes—being an oni and all

go beetle fighting with him and he’ll love you forever

and he’ll love you even more if you get along with his family. honestly, he already treats you as if you’re married

ugh itto would be one of the best boyfriends ever

[ilguna]

Hi a johanna x reader break up? They’re in D13, they get in a fight, and they break up. Make it extra angsty pls 🫢 and thank you

☼ wrong place, wrong time (Johanna Mason) ☼

warnings; swearing, torture mention, prostituion mention.

wc; 2.8k

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When you met Johanna, it was during the Tribute Parade for the Seventy-Second Hunger Games. It was her first mentoring event, and despite having another victor with her, it was clear that she was getting overwhelmed with the sheer amount of tasks mentors have to take on at once.

As a newer victor yourself, who remembered exactly what it was like to be thrown to the wolves with little to no help, you thought you could give her some advice. However, from the moment you approached her, it was clear that she was not a fan of yours. Judging by the way her face twisted in the center—a clear display of disgust—she had some preceding opinions about you. 

You still have no idea what she was thinking to herself when you began talking to her, because even now she refuses to tell you, as if it’s some big secret. She thought you were full of yourself, going up to her and giving her advice that she never asked for. Like you knew what was best for her tributes or that her mentoring style was wrong.

She knows now that your intentions were innocent. At the time, District Seven and District Ten had this half-alliance that’d been working out in the tributes' favor recently. Well, with the exception of her, because she’d gone by herself the year prior, but her tribute partner took advantage of it for as long as he did.

Either way, they must not have filled her in on this, because the second you began to introduce yourself, she completely stonewalled you. This is not what you were expecting from the girl who managed to play one of the smartest hands in history, but you can’t blame her. How can you?

After this, it was hard getting Johanna to talk to you beyond formalities, which seemed to be against her will. It wasn’t until your tributes began forming an alliance between your two districts, did she finally come around. By then, you were tired of her brushing you off, and everything you said was no longer sugar coated. 

Surprisingly, Johanna didn’t like this.

A little fact about her is that she’s terrible at communication. From the surface, all conversations with her seem to be straightforward. She says what’s on her mind, disregarding the feelings of the person she’s talking to. She believes it’s a waste of time and effort to censor herself, when she thinks that people need to toughen up.

However, if you do this to her, she can and she will lose her temper. It might not be all at once, but she starts to show signs. The beginning is usually passive aggressive comments, and it only escalates from there.

You didn’t know this at the time of talking to her, obviously. You did figure it out pretty quickly, and instead of just letting it be, you were forward with Johanna. You forget exactly what you told her, but it was something along the lines of, “Before this gets any worse, I would like to talk about it. I can tell we started off on the wrong foot, was it something I said?”

Of course, in classic Johanna fashion, she thought that you weren’t being serious, and in the middle of a sarcastic remark, you stopped her. You told her that it was a genuine question, and you’d like the opportunity to fix what happened in order to continue the alliance between Seven and Ten. Otherwise, you two were heading for a rivalry that you did not have the time nor the energy for.

It took several tries, but you managed to squeeze it out of her. She was honest, she told you that it was the Tribute Parade, your know-it-all attitude and your righteousness to her tributes. This allowed you to explain to her the former alliances and the friendship that you mostly held with the previous mentor of Seven.

She blinked in surprise when you apologized for assuming she knew already. From there, the relationship between you two got better—and eventually grew to be more. By the end of the Seventy-Second Hunger Games, you’d rubbed off on her enough to allow her to communicate the same way you did. There wasn’t a hurdle she couldn’t get over.

It’s different now, three years later. Now it seems like she can’t get her legs high enough, getting her foot caught in the plastic, causing her to land harshly back on the track. Now she doesn’t seem interested in fixing the issue, letting it get worse.

It’s been four weeks since Johanna got rescued from the Capitol. And the only consistent sentence Johanna has said to you in this span of time is, “Get out of my room.”

For the first fourteen days, you did everything you can to change that. You went to visit her every chance you got in District Thirteen’s hospital. If there was a gap in your premade schedule, you took the time to go and see her, with the hope that she wouldn’t turn you away that time. And despite the fact you should’ve known better by then, you still showed up in her doorway. And you were still met with the same answer.

It hurts.

A piece of you shattered when you watched her begin to shake her head at the sight of you alone. She doesn’t want you near her anymore. When before, she couldn’t hold you close enough. She always had you within arms reach, especially during the Quarter Quell because she was afraid of losing you.

When you try to bring this up to Finnick, he brushes you off. All he has to say to you is that she went through a lot. Given the circumstances, you’re lucky that she did come back from the Capitol. She could be another copy of Peeta, who can’t even look at Katniss without getting unnecessarily violent.

It feels like she is, though. Just, instead of the Capitol reengineering her brain to be afraid of you, she’s willingly choosing to push you away. And you let her. After fourteen days of suffering through this, you decided that you weren’t going to do it anymore. You went to visit her on the fifteenth day, right before the hospital stopped taking visitors for the night. 

You hadn’t bothered to see her all day, not that you had the time to, either. Plutarch had them change your schedule to include more combat and weapon training without asking you first. Then, they pulled you in for a meeting to talk to you about potentially sending you to District Two to be with Katniss while she does propos and helps the wounded.

Their reasoning was they wanted to show more hands-on victors to the Capitol and the districts. If they have a little bit of variety, it might inspire loyalists to become rebels, or something stupid like that. Either way, they couldn’t choose Johanna and Peeta for obvious reasons, as much as Plutarch would’ve liked to. The recently rescued could feed their cause.

Which naturally takes Finnick and Annie off the table, as well. Beetee is needed for Special Defense, Haymitch isn’t really a camera-type. This leaves just you, something they were excited about. You could offer a different perspective to the districts that are more like yours and less like Katniss’s.

It didn’t take much for them to convince you to go to District Two, but that’s besides the point.

You went to see Johanna directly after that meeting, exhausted from a long day—something you hadn’t experienced in over a month. They had you go through every physical and mental test they could’ve thought of. And when you were finished with that, they had you training with weapons that you thought you’d never have to touch.

You were frustrated, too. The idea of Johanna shutting you down again was getting to your head. Still, you wanted to go to her. You wanted to see her, tell her that you’d be gone for a couple weeks. She would have plenty of time away from you to collect her thoughts and put her emotions in order. While you wouldn’t mind doing video calls, like Katniss and Haymitch have been doing, you weren’t going to initiate it.

You had a whole speech prepared.

When you saw Johanna through the glass, she was sitting with Finnick on her bed. An occurrence that wasn’t uncommon, they’re best friends, after all. You knew that he was visiting her anyway, because he was letting you in on snippets of their conversations. He knew that she was driving you crazy by not letting you check in with her, so he took the liberty of telling you how she was feeling every couple of days.

It peeved you that she would let him into her room, but you had to remind yourself that they don’t have the same relationship that you two have. He’s not dating her, he’s just her friend. She’s going to trust him with details that she’d never consider telling you. Even though you feel it should be the other way around.

Johanna was smiling, Finnick was laughing. And then her wandering eyes caught sight of you, the expression on her face disappearing completely. You didn’t get to open your mouth before she said, “Right when I think I’m finally going to get a day with you—here you are. What about ‘go away’ do you not understand?”

You haven’t seen her since.

District Two helped that considerably. The tasks weren’t as mind-numbing as you were hoping they’d be, but it was easy to get caught up in helping people. That’s the part you enjoyed the most. If you could keep your hands busy, then you weren’t thinking about her or the expression on her face.

Well, during the day it was easy to forget about her. At night it became different, you’d spend hours tossing and turning, replaying every moment you spent with her leading up to the final day of the Quarter Quell. How she specifically instructed you to go to the tree and wait there to be rescued. You were not to wait on her.

She told you she loved you before she sent you away.

Your trip in District Two was suddenly cut short when Katniss got shot, and you were grazed with a lazy second bullet. Unable to secure your safety, you were promptly whisked onto a hovercraft and flown straight back to Thirteen. You were uninjured and allowed to sleep in your own room, with Katniss having bruised ribs so she was taken to the hospital.

You were going to go with her, since you’d grown closer from working side by side for two weeks. The moment you stepped foot into the first hallway, you changed your mind. You asked Haymitch to get you when she woke up, and then you left.

Since, they’ve resumed your training schedule. Which is strangely more work than being in the district itself. It works as a better distraction, at least. It keeps you from getting the urge of seeing Johanna all hours of the day. Although, with every passing day that you don’t try to fix your relationship, you slip further and further from each other’s grasp.

Except, you did try. It was Johanna that repeatedly shut it down. 

“Are you sure you can officiate the wedding?” Plutarch asks again. “A guy from your district just came forward and said that he could do it.”

“Dalton.” You murmur, straightening out the grey jumpsuit. “I talked to him the other day about it, he told me that he’s never actually done it before.” You turn away from the mirror to look at Plutarch. “I have, that’s why Finnick and Annie said they wanted me to do it.”

Plutarch nods. “Right, well, Coin wants to start in about twenty minutes.”

“Gotcha.” You sigh. “I’ve got to run up to my room real quick, I grabbed something for them while I was in Two. I’ve just been holding onto it until the right moment.”

Plutarch places a hand on your shoulder before walking in the direction of the kitchen, where Peeta should be with the cake. You start for the exit immediately because you have such a limited amount of time to make this trip. You walk a long hallway, up a flight of stairs and then onto the elevator. From there, you have to walk from one side of the building to the other.

A part of you had a feeling that Finnick and Annie would seal their love sometime soon, especially after what happened. The last thing they’d want is to wait any longer when they love each other now. That’s why you went ahead and worked with Haymitch to get something done for them.

The night before the Quell, Mags had given Haymitch a special picture of Finnick and Annie together. It’s clear that they have no clue the photo was being taken because of the little bit of blur. In the photo, Finnick is dipping Annie as far back as she’ll go, face buried into the far side of her neck. While Annie has the brightest smile on her face, mid-laughter.

You took the photo with you to Two, where you struggled to find a business that was still running, even with the battle happening. A single woodworking shop was open, and as soon as you mentioned needing a picture frame, she jumped at the opportunity. She had many prepared, but you wanted a white frame, and you wanted it to be engraved with, ‘The Odair’s, forever and always’. 

It truly is a gorgeous piece, as simple as it is. She went above and beyond for them, and you’d like to think that Mags would be happy with it.

As you swing the door to your room open, you know something is off. The lights are on, despite the fact that you turned them off before you left. When you sweep the small area, your eyes land on Johanna, who’s sitting on your bed, picture frame in hand, eyebrows furrowed.

She doesn’t look the way she did the last time you saw her. In fact, she looks much healthier, even with the deep bags beneath her eyes. She’s put some weight back on due to the meal plan the hospital has her on, and her hair has grown a little bit more. A dark fuzz covers what used to be her exposed skull.

Johanna looks up at your presence, but all you can think about is how she’s leaving finger streaks on the glass you’ve meticulously cleaned. 

“I need that.” You tell her, holding out your hand. “I have to get back downstairs.”

“I didn’t realize I meant so little to you.” She ignores what you’ve said, but sets the frame aside. “You’ve moved on pretty quickly. I bet you were hoping I was going to die in the Capitol.”

You stare at her blankly, lips parting. Has she hit her head recently? Or maybe it’s the torture finally catching up with her. “Moved on?” You repeat. “Johanna, I have not.”

“You haven’t come to see me in weeks.” She accuses.

A scoff leaves your mouth before you can catch it. Her eyes widen, not expecting that from you. “Are you feeling alright?” You ask. “Because last time I checked, you’re the one that told me to ‘go away’ five times a day. Every time I went to see you, you told me to leave. I listened. Is that not what you wanted?”

“If you actually loved me, you would know the answer to that.”

“I do love you!” You suddenly shout at her, she flinches at your tone, regret seeps into your chest. You lower your tone, “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to stand here and let you tell me that I don’t love you. I was pushing for you to get rescued since I woke up in that hovercraft without you. I begged them to go back for you.

“And all those secrets that Finnick told live weren’t just his, they were mine too.” You tell her, watching as her face drops. “I had to tell him what happened to me. I was the first one through those hospital doors when I heard you were here. And even though it was obvious you didn’t want me, I still came around for two weeks hoping that you’d suddenly change your mind.

“I am not gonna let you blame this on me.” You snap, striding forward. You swipe the picture frame from the bed. “And I am not going to let you treat me like shit. This relationship is done. Get out of my room.”

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this was part of my 3k celebration!!