#I need this out so I can consume every last bit of it asap

[faeleur]

the fourth and second to last (fr this time) part of the series is here! this is going to be a long one so buckle up. thank you everyone for the love and hopefully you enjoyed :) stay tuned for the official official final! not proofread because i just wanted to get this out asap so be warned

part i. part ii. part iii. masterlist

leviathan x idol!reader: part iv

your heart pounded as you finally reached levi’s room, guilt festering in the pit of your stomach.

you’re not quite sure what he wanted to tell you, or why he left so suddenly (but then again you completely fumbled your excuse), but you knew that something was up

as hypocritical as it was, it felt like he was hiding something from you, and you felt confused, saddened, and kind of pissed off at the thought

what reason could he have to ever hide something from you? (… ignoring the hypocrisy ofc, this was about him rn 🫶🏻)

you raised your fist to knock on his door, but hesitated.

that was all he needed.

“i know you’re there. i don’t wanna talk to anyone right now, so just turn around and go back to your boyfriend or whatever.”

inside, levi was still sitting in his chair, but his game was long forgotten as he was completely consumed by his sin.

envy coursed through and seeped out of every scale of his devil form, his pupils narrow slits, his breath hot and ragged, his fangs bared.

all he could think about was your betrayal. you were his. his alone. didn’t you know you had promised yourself to him the moment his insignia appeared on the nape of your neck? did your pact mean nothing? did all these months mean nothing?

levi’s seething voice snapped you out of your daze, and you bit your lip again, the confusion building. what did you do wrong? even if it wasn’t true, did the thought of you having a boyfriend set him off?

you knew he was more susceptible to certain thoughts and behaviors as the avatar of envy, but regardless, you wanted to get to the bottom of it.

“sorry, but i’m staying, whether you decide to open the door or not. we need to talk.”

you sighed, gently resting your head on his door, closing your eyes. “please,” your words barely above a whisper.

you wanted to talk? fine, he’d let you talk.

his door opened suddenly and you were yanked inside, the entrance slamming shut behind you.

levi’s claws dug into the soft skin of your arm, threatening to draw blood as you struggled in his grip. he towered over you, his snake-like eyes void of all emotion as he stared down at your form.

“then talk,” he hissed.

you cried out in surprise and pain. he was visibly upset, but you didn’t know why. what was happening?

“levi, i don’t know what i did, but i’m sorry—“

“you don’t know? you seriously don’t know? oh, it’s just so convenient to forget about my mark on your neck?”

your eyes narrowed in confusion. what was he talking about? “you mean the pact? of course i didn’t forget about it, but what does that have to do with anything? can you please just let me go and we can—“

“it means you belong to me, y/n,” he snarled as his grip tightened. “it means you betrayed me by going out with some other guy, some human—“

“levi, stop, you’re hurting me!”

“do i mean nothing to you? was this just a game? were you just stringing me along this whole time just so you could go and break my heart?” his claws clamped down.

you screamed as scarlet dripped from your arm onto the floor, and the sound of your pain drew levi’s attention to where his claws sank into your skin.

his world stopped as he pulled his hands away, the tips covered in your blood. the sound of you crying. the smell of your fear.

the envy, the rage, dissipated in seconds, now replaced with horror. what had he done?

he stammered as he shrank, reverting to normal. he was going to vomit.

his ears started ringing as you backed away from him, trembling.

what had he done?

he reached his hand towards you in a feeble attempt to do something, anything to remedy the situation, but when you flinched away, his heart broke even more.

he hurt you. he didn’t even mean to, he was just so jealous—

why was he jealous? because you betrayed him—

how could you have known if he never told you how he felt? you should’ve known better—

but you didn’t. it wasn’t your fault, it was his. it was all his.

levi felt like he was suffocating as the walls of his room closed in on him, and he sank to his floor, stuttering.

when he blinked, his room was cold and empty, your warmth long gone. you had left ages ago.

on the opposite end of the house, you frantically knocked on asmo’s door. “a-asmo?”

after a moment, the 5th brother opened his bedroom door, yawning as he lifted his eye mask. “how dare you interrupt my beauty sl—“

his jaw dropped when he saw you cradling your bloody arm, and within seconds, he was patching you up on his bed as quickly as he could.

he was about to ask who would dare to harm you in this way, but when he removed a shimmering purple scale from the inside of your wound, his heart dropped.

at the sight, your sobs started up again, and he pulled you close to embrace you, rocking you gently. “y/n, sweetheart, i’m so sorry— what happened?”

you relayed your story, his eyes widening after every detail. and when you were done, your wound clean and bandaged neatly, he looked away, biting his lip. he knew something you didn’t.

“asmo?” you asked upon noticing his guilty expression.

he sighed, brushing the hair out of his face. “well…”

“well?” you gave him a look, and he smiled sheepishly.

“i don’t want to interfere, since this is something levi should be telling you rather than me, but… when he saw you had a boyfriend, it caused his sin to spiral out of control. jealousy, y’know? he wasn’t in his right mind. i’m not trying to excuse his behavior, and he definitely needs to apologize, but i doubt he wanted to hurt you. once you’re in that headspace… it’s hard to think clearly. it’s like your sin controls you, and all you can do is watch.”

you bit your lip. that made sense, as demons were certainly more prone to emotional outbursts, but that didn’t explain the meaning behind his words.

“what about all the things he said? he was really possessive…”

“well, that’s because he… uh… he felt threatened. you’re his best friend, and maybe he thought that you were replacing him… especially since you’ve been distant this past month and because you’re leaving at the end of next week, he got scared you wouldn’t or didn’t care about him anymore. and with your pact? that kind of makes it worse, given how special it is and all.”

you nodded, feeling saddened. why on earth did you have to make that excuse? you’d have to clear it up eventually, but you weren’t sure if telling him it was a lie was a good idea right now…

while levi’s outburst had scared you, now that you knew the likely reasoning behind it, you wanted to go find and reassure him (again). you had your own apologizing to do, as well.

asmo noticed the signs and rested his hand on your arm before you could get up, looking at you sympathetically. “i know you want to go find him, but give him a little space to cool off. especially after he scratched you up… i can imagine that he feels really guilty. he might not be ready to face you yet.”

you nodded, pulling the demon into a gentle hug. “thanks, asmo. for everything, actually. you’ve been a huge help.”

he returned the gesture, patting your head. “of course. be sure to visit me again before you leave. you deserve to have a makeover befitting your temporary departure from the devildom,” he beamed.

you smiled in return, sliding off his bed, ready to leave. “thanks, asmo. good night!”

“nighty night~!” he called, and once you disappeared down the hall, his door slowly shutting with a gentle creak, he grabbed his nearest pillow and screamed into it.

“these two are killing me, i swear…” he whined. “levi, please grow some balls already, for the love of diavolo.”

you headed to your room, tuckered out for the evening. friday was fast approaching, and you needed to rest for your last day of classes before finals.

determined, you brushed your teeth, did your skincare routine, changed into your favorite pj’s, then hopped into bed, waiting for sleep to take you.

… except it never did. you were lying there for what felt like hours, but when you rolled over and looked at your phone, only about 30 minutes had passed.

then another. then another.

by now, a good couple hours had went by, and it was well past midnight. there was no reason for you to be awake. usually, you were out like a light the minute you were under the covers. why wasn’t it working now?

you knew the reason. but asmo said he needed space…

you looked at your phone again. 2 am. was that enough space?

yes, you decided. it was.

before you knew it, your feet were carrying you down the hall towards levi’s room.

soon you reached his door, and readied yourself to knock, but realized something peculiar — his door was ajar.

you cautiously stepped across the threshold, peering around the corner. “levi…?” you called softly, your voice echoing ever so slightly in the aquarium confines of his bedroom.

you heard some shuffling before levi’s head rose from within his bathtub, the tear stains glimmering on his face like little jewels. his eyes widened, as did his mouth, but when he saw your bandaged arm, he let out a soft exclamation of horror.

“y/n, i’m so sorry—“ the apology slipped out rapidly, the words jumbling together.

“i didn’t mean to, i swear, i didn’t… didn’t realize—“ he lowered his gaze, sinking back into his tub.

“i’m sorry. i lost control, i don’t even know why… it’s stupid, i’m stupid. i’m pathetic. you must hate me…” he whimpered, sniffling as the tears started up again and as he began to curl back into himself.

while he rambled, you slowly moved closer to where he rested, and it was only when you were leaning over him, casting his form in shadow, did he stop and look at you.

why were you coming to him? why weren’t you running away?

he spluttered as you began to step into the bathtub, and he pressed himself against the wall opposite you in an attempt to create distance in the narrow space.

“what are you doing?” he squeaked as you leaned towards him once more, flabbergasted and flustered. “aren’t you scared of me? i’m a monster—“

his breath hitched as you pulled him into a gentle hug. “i’m not scared of you, levi. or upset. you’re not a monster,” you murmured, looking up at him.

he blinked in shock, and despite his whining as well as his protests that he was gross and disgusting and pathetic, he had pulled you close faster than he’d like to admit.

he could only hope that you wouldn’t notice how his heart was practically beating out of his chest.

“you’re none of those things. you’re my best friend,” you reassured him, and when you looked up at him, chin resting on his chest as your arms were wrapped around his waist, he was trying to fight the tears that were beginning to sting his eyes... and stop his poor heart from exploding.

“i’m sorry, levi… for being so distant and not being completely honest,” you looked at him with all the sincerity you could muster. “you didn’t deserve that, especially when you were so worried about me.”

levi nodded, but realized what you were saying.

“wait, y/n, no, i should be apologizing—“

“you already did—”

“no, i mean really apologize,“ he sighed. “i’m sorry for invading your privacy and just barging into your studio, for one… you were, err, obviously in the middle of something important. and i’m sorry for my outburst—“ he winced at the thought, glancing at your bandaged arm. “that was horrible, and completely unfair, especially since you didn’t do anything to warrant it, really… and i hurt you too, god, i’m just so path—“

you shushed him. “cut that out, you’re not, although i appreciate it. and hey, at least i’ll have something to remember you by now,” you wiggled your eyebrows. “imagine what everyone will say when i tell them i survived a brutal demon attack,” you teased, giving him a smug and playful look.

levi rolled his eyes, a smile playing at his lips. “are you trying to call me a weakling? that i was so easily defeated?”

you snorted. “well, in my defense—“

“i’m the naval captain of the devildom, y/n, i’ve downed thousands of ships in my lifetime, i could easily take you down if i wanted to,” he huffed, averting his gaze.

you shook your head slightly, chuckling. “yeah, i bet you did, mister.”

when he turned to you again, his heart jumped and lodged in his throat. the way you were looking at him with those eyes of yours, sparkling and half lidded…

his gaze lowered to your lips, plump and glossy from your impeccable care routine… he so wanted to kiss— wait, no, you had a boyfriend, what was he thinking? cut it out, he internally scolded himself, forcing his gaze back up.

“levi…” you hummed, and he blinked, caught by surprise.

“i think you wanted to tell me something?”

i love you.

“y’know, the super duper important thing that had you barging into my dance practice?”

oh.

“i, uh… well…” levi cleared his throat, remembering his original intentions. “no point in hiding it anymore, so…”

he smiled at you, the giddiness returning. “i got tickets.”

you stared at him, confused. tickets?

and then it hit you, and when he saw your jaw drop, his smile widened.

“that’s right. don’t ask me how, but i got soundcheck, barricade, and backstage.”

you opened your mouth to speak, but he brought his finger to your lips as if he was shushing you, and he chuckled a little.

“i thought i just said to not ask! anyways, the best part is, you’re going with—“

you pushed his hand away. “i’m not.”

levi blanked, smiling to divert the wave of hurt and confusion. “what? what do you mean?“

“i… i can’t. i’m already going with someone else…”

his heart sank. he could feel the wave of envy start up, and he felt sick, but managed to choke out “is it your boyfriend?”

“no, it’s not. i’m going with my group of earth friends… we’re gonna be traveling together for the break.”

“oh… that’s— that’s cool, yeah.” he was doing everything in his power to stop a flare up again.

“i’m sorry, levi. that sounds amazing, but i’ve been planning this trip with them for… so long now, it wouldn’t be fair to cancel on them.”

“yeah… i get it,” he scoffed, looking away, the bile rising in his throat… but what he really wanted to say was, “what about me?”

“yeah…”

“so… that’s it, then? you’re leaving after exams?”

you nodded, biting your lip.

“i see.”

and then it went quiet.

“… levi?”

the silence was deafening.

“levi.”

why wasn’t he responding? why won’t he face you?

“leviathan. look at me, please.”

whether it was on his own volition or because of your pact, he quickly turned his head, his eyebrows furrowed as tears streamed down his face.

you could feel your heart breaking, and quickly pulled him into a tighter embrace, tears forming in your own eyes as you placed your head right above where his heart rested, tuning in to the rapidity of its beat. the guilt was already eating you alive, but this was the metaphorical truck that finished you off.

levi couldn’t find the will to do anything but sob into your hair, holding you against his chest.

“i’m just—“ his voice broke. “i’m not mad… i’m just gonna miss you… so much,” he lied. well, it was only partially— he was definitely going to miss you.

you nodded, closing your eyes. “i’m gonna miss you, too… more than you know.”

“okay, well, i’m gonna miss you the most, soooo… there,” levi laughed into the fabric of your shirt, and you couldn’t help but to roll your eyes.

“yeah, yeah. is there anything else you wanna tell me while we’re at it, you big crybaby?” you felt him huff. “why do you care so much about my boyfriend, anyways?”

levi suddenly stopped sniffling, and you felt him tense up. bingo.

“i… i’m just surprised you never told me, is all! i’m your best friend, y’know? i should be the first to know about these things, duh.”

“mmm, i’m not convinced.”

levi thought for a moment. should he really tell you? would he really go so low as to homewreck?

the short answer is yes, he would. but not right now. this was a nice moment, and he wanted it to last a little longer.

“so… anyways,”

you bursted out laughing. “very smooth, levi.”

“shut up. i was only going to ask what you wanted to do… seeing as this is one of the last times we can properly hang out, i guess.”

“i’m STILL not convinced, just so you know.”

“whatever helps you sleep at night, y/n.”

the bickering went back and forth a little while longer before the two of you decided on a proper agenda: scavenge for dessert and one last binge viewing of galaxea content before it was time to hunker down for finals.

except… you really didn’t want to get out of this position. not only was it cozy, but his bathtub was also really slippery and ridiculously hard to get out of without stepping on each other.

that, and you could tell levi didn’t want to move, either. besides, it was so warm… and his hoodie was so soft… and his breathing was so relaxing… and the way his fingers brushed over the pact mark on the nape of your neck made you feel fuzzy…

before you knew it, you were waking up to the sound of his alarm. your body was sore, and you groaned as you struggled to move your limbs, but paused at the sight before you: levi, face soft and peaceful as he snored away blissfully, arms wrapped around you tightly as he hugged you close to him, your legs intertwined. most surprisingly of all, his ruri-chan body pillow was long forgotten, probably being slept on top of.

you couldn’t help but to trace his jaw with your fingers, softly carding them through his hair once you had mapped out his face. you felt heat burning your cheeks, and suddenly, there was only one thing on your mind.

has he always been this pretty? or did you just never notice before?

you felt a foreign emotion bubble in your chest, and you had to stop before… you didn’t know what, exactly, but you couldn’t risk it. plus, his alarm was starting to annoy you. how come he hadn’t woken up yet?

“levi,” you said a little too loudly, and his eyes shot open. you jumped back a little in surprise, but a smile tugged at your lips afterwards.

he rubbed the sleep away from his face, groaning in annoyance. “why did you… wait.”

he blanked, looking back at you. you were here. in his arms. in his bathtub. was it morning? was he dreaming?

he stared at you in surprise, his cheeks visibly turning the shade of a ripe tomato, and small giggles escaped you.

he looked down, only to see you were both fully clothed. of course. why wouldn’t you be? ahaha…

his alarm was starting to seriously get annoying, and he grumbled as he dug his phone out of the pile of pillows beneath you, turning it off the minute his hand closed around his device.

you both had a full day of classes and studying ahead of you, and knew you had to go and get ready, but… even after all of this…

you both weren’t ready for this to be the end.

due to your conflicting schedules, you’d be the first one done and would be leaving while levi would still be testing, so this was goodbye for the next few months.

you gazed at each other, communicating everything wordlessly, and as you pushed away, beginning to climb out of his tub, he grabbed your hand, squeezing it.

you squeezed it back, smiling as you started gathering your things, slowly making your way to the door.

you heard him sniffle again, and suddenly felt him pull you into him from behind, embracing you tightly. you didn’t even hear him get up.

“goodbye, y/n. don’t forget about me, okay?”

you turned your head to look up at him, the moment bittersweet. “i’d never forget about you, levi. how could i?”

stay, he wanted to murmur in your ear. stay, and let me hold you a little longer. stay, where it’s just us two. where i can have you all to myself. where you don’t have to leave.

but he didn’t.

the two of you stayed like that for a moment longer, before he suddenly let you go, gently pushing you away.

“alright, now go. before i start crying again,” he whispered, watching you sadly as you walked to his door, opening it.

the faint light from the hallway cast your figure in a golden glow, and the last thing he heard from you before you were gone was, “i’ll see you in a couple months, okay? i’ll find you at the concert, i promise. look for me.”

the days blended into each other, and the afternoon you were supposed to move out, levi kept himself holed in his room. he was supposed to be writing an essay, and as the timer slowly ticked away, he heard the muffled sobs and goodbyes of his brothers. mammon’s dramatics and asmo’s fussing stood out the most, but he could also pick out lucifer telling everyone he’d be back shortly as he would be dropping you off along with diavolo.

proctored test be damned, he closed his eyes, attempting to hear any trace of your voice one last time… but all he caught was the loud shutting of the door. you were gone.

as you were escorted to the portal gate, you expected to hear from a certain someone. they wouldn’t just let you leave, you knew they’d message you.

and when your phone buzzed, you peeked at the screen, a little giddy... but it wasn’t from who you expected.

the last message you got on your phone before exiting the devildom wasn’t from levi, but from asmo.

“you’re not being honest with yourself. i know you love him,” was all it read, chills shooting down your spine.

lucifer and diavolo’s voices blurred into the background as you shook their hands. what was he talking about? you were about to respond, but when you looked back up, you were standing in front of your company’s building, your devildom phone gone from your pocket, like it had never existed at all.

you were home.

[bibbykins]

Vulnerable in The Dead of Night (M)

I wrote this QUICK, so if it’s bad, I’m so sorry, but I just wanted to get this out ASAP, so I hope you like it! Also, pls feel free to give me your thoughts or ask any questions, I love to answer them!

NOTE: This is part of The Household’s Bunny series, which I recommend you read before this bc otherwise, it may not make sense.

Summary: Taehyung finds himself consumed with self-loathing and crushing loneliness. You find Taehyung standing alone in the kitchen late at night, happy to see him again for the first time in weeks. The usually playful and flirty man is left with his feelings when faced with you in the dead of night.

Genre: Soft Yandere! Taehyung x Chubby! Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: 18+, soft yandere tendencies, obsessive/possessive thoughts, crying, loneliness, self-loathing, abandonment issue, adopted person feeling unworthy of love, kissing, hickeys, cunnilingus, precum, blowjob, swallowing, dom/sub dynamics, dirty talk, this is a yandere fic so unhealthy relationships are throughout this series

Taehyung felt like he was losing his mind, and maybe he was. What could he be doing wrong? How can you not know how he feels? How can Jimin get his point across better than him? 

Do you not like him?

His pacing in the kitchen ceased at this thought. 

No.

Surely, no. You liked him, right? You told him you did.

Although, that was before he and Namjoon had basically disappeared from your life these last two weeks. Is he that replaceable? 

The nagging insecurity of his childhood crept up. Flashes of tears, isolation, and craving for love tugged at his mind. He shook his head. He wasn't a 6 year old watching his father leave him. He wasn't a 14 year old in a foster home. He just wasn't that 17 year old in a new home, trying to adapt. That wasn't him anymore. Taehyung was loved now, by many. So why not by you? 

He blew out a shaky breath before finishing his glass of room temperature water. He was still dressed in his suit, having just gotten home from the final session of the blasted weeks-long project that kept him from you. His tie was more suffocating than ever but could not find a reason he deserved to undo it.

Too enraptured in his own thoughts, he didn't hear the soft pad of slippers downstairs or the tiny pants of regaining your breath from the nine flights you just went down in the dead of night, "Tae?" Your breathy voice sliced through the chaos in his mind and he let out a breathy chuckle, thinking he was going insane, hallucinating your voice.

Truly, he felt useless. He felt sub-human. He felt every piece of shit adult who turned his back on him must be justified if this was the best he could do. If a smokescreen of lovability with no love was his peak. If being alone with only hallucinations was the closest he could get to companionship-

He nearly choked on his water when he felt arms wrap tightly around his midsection, "Tae, you're home!" Your voice cleared the cloud of self-loathing and he looked down to see your half manicured nails, most of the polish chipped off. He slowly placed his hands on yours and was relieved to find you weren't a hallucination, "I missed you." He could feel your mouth moving against his suit jacket as you squeezed him a bit harder.

He let his eyes close as he relished in the feeling of you nuzzling into him, missing him. 

Worried when he said nothing, you moved to detach yourself but he held your hands firmly, "Tae?" You questioned only for him to hum lightly.

"I missed you so much, little lamb." His voice was soft, the softest you'd ever heard it as his thumb stroked your palm, "I didn't know you missed me." His voice held a fondness you had never heard from him before. Usually, his tone was light and playful but now, he was almost melancholic.

Did he genuinely feel that way? The panic of one of the men you found yourself falling for each day thinking you didn't like him as much as you did take over and you moved for you both to face each other. Tae merely blinked before you were in front of him, hands holding his face, not searching in his eyes but looking to express something with yours, "Of course I missed you." You pouted, "You all mean the world to me." 

He searched for any sign of a lie. He'd seen it time and time again from people in the entertainment industry, but with you, it was nothing but pure honesty, "Little lamb." He commanded your attention even though he already had it as you let your hands settle on each of his shoulders, "You mean that?" 

"I would never lie to you." You didn't miss a beat before looking at him further, realizing he is not acting like he usually does, "Are you okay?" You asked lightly, eyes traveling over his form, hands working to undo his tie as you've done before when he asked you to help him, "Oh gosh, that must feel so suffocating this late at night." You mumbled and undid two of his top buttons. He grabbed your hands as you worked at the second button, making you look up.

"Do you wanna know how I feel, baby?" He asked, eyes a little darker now as he drank in your form, wearing a mere long shirt that reached the middle of your thighs with no shorts in sight. You nodded and his grip on you tightened but wasn't painful, "Jealous." He rasped and you looked up, confused, "Jealous that you don't cum for me or crave me like you do everyone else." His voice was strained despite neglecting Namjoon's own lack of experience with you.

You blinked, "I mean if you want sex, that's okay." He let go of your hands, one of his hands moving to grip your hip as the other cupped your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb, "But you know that sex is just that, I mean, I like closeness and it makes me feel good, so I do it. But I also know that being sexually attracted to me doesn't mean you want me as your partner- oh!" He cut you off by pressing you roughly against the wall, his hand now cradling the back of your head to prevent you from getting hurt.

His gaze burned into you and you averted your eyes but the hand behind your head went to grip your chin, forcing your gaze to meet his own, and what a fierce gaze it was, "Who made you think that?" He snapped and continued when you struggled to respond, "Who convinced you that you're not just as worthy of pleasure as you are intimacy? Love? Companionship?" 

You were dumbstruck. Part of you wanted to ask how long he had because you had a list. You remembered every person who made you feel that way whereas they surely forgot you moments after you either did or didn't succumb to their desires. Instead, your eyes began to water, "Why are you…?" You forced out, blinking back your tears, "I don't...I don't understand." You shook your head.

"I don't want to fuck you so bad just because you're the sexiest woman I've ever seen." Your breath hitched and your mind couldn't properly process his words, "I crave you." He breathed, leaning down, "I've been agonizing over how to come to terms with the fact that I feel so fucking strongly for someone who has no obligation to feel the same." Before you could even respond, he placed his mouth on yours in a bruising kiss.

You responded immediately, trying your best to convey your feelings in this sloppy kiss, tongues intertwined as you needily moaned when his hand wrapped your leg around him, but he didn't grind into you, he just pulled your closer. The kissing lessened in urgency and increased in passion as he gripped you with a near bruising force, "Tae…" You groaned into his mouth and found yourself nearly crying. You held him closer and he squeezed you to him.

"Yes, baby?" He moved to kiss lightly at the corner of your mouth, mouth moving to. kiss at your tears. He didn't need to ask you why you were crying. He knew. He felt it too. He felt the relief that came with being held close, being kissed, and is wanted as much as another wants you.

"Do you mean it?" You asked, crying more now, "You…"

"I feel so strongly for you." He affirmed and you shook your head, having a hard time believing him, "And that's so frightening because you could just leave and I..." He breathed shakily, head tucked into your neck, "I don't know how everyone else is holding it together when I know they feel the same-"

"I do too." You had to say it before you wouldn't, "All of you, I do." You sniffled, "But I can't find a reason why you guys would feel anything for me too." Your voice was breaking and he just crushed you to him further, "And I don't know if they feel that way, and-" You cried further, "I-I need to go to bed, I need to-" You tried to pull away from his crushing embrace to no avail. 

You whined a bit at this. Your mind was scattered, and you didn't know what to do. There was so much going on yet nothing going on at all. You received a confession and so did he and yet, everything felt so complicated. The doubt of anyone wanting to be with you strangled your very being and made you want to stay in your room and never think about it again. Live alone in mediocrity and loneliness.

"Promise me you're not scared." His words were demanding but his tone was pleading, "I...I know it's a lot and I know I never act like this, but just, don't avoid it, don't avoid me." He sniffled and you relaxed, "The fact of the matter is, we feel the same about each other, the rest will come in time." He was regaining his composure and slowly you began to calm down. He was right. It was just you and him. Everyone else is at bay, they will get their time. You don't have to wake everyone up to know their feelings. You have time, "I know Jimin said his piece to you too, and we're not going anywhere, so please, don't go." His voice was stable again as he tucked in the scared and lonely little boy that haunts him sometimes and set his mind straight.

You nodded against him, honest and understanding of his words. You were nervous, sure, but only time would tell. If you run, you break your heart. But if you stay, you could either get your heart broken or get everything you want. It's a risk that you don't know how to calculate, but it's a risk you're willing to take. Maybe Taehyung is right and everyone feels the same about you in a way you could only dream. Just maybe.

He lets you go and you look at him, flawless as ever. His face was minorly red, tears minuscule and long gone by now, "We should go to bed." You murmured as Taehyung reached up to wipe away the stray tears on your cheeks and he nodded. 

He held your hand as he pressed the elevator button, lightly scolding you for taking nine flights of stairs in slippers with no traction, "Wow, you tell me you tell me you like me and now I'm getting chewed out." You giggled, the feeling of someone fussing over your safety was quite refreshing.

He looked at you incredulously, "If you fell or hurt yourself, all hell would break loose." He chided and you hummed.

You broke out into a goofy smile, "You like me." You giggled and the man next to you gave you a side-eyed glare before giving up on containing his own smile.

"Yeah well," He paused for a moment, smiling to himself, "You like me back." He chuckled and you felt your face heat up. 

He squeezed your hand and you watched the floors tick up to your own, "Tae?"

"Yes?" He asked, noticing your voice got quieter, more unsure. 

"Do you have anything to do tomorrow or do you want to stay with me tonight?" You forced out, nervous he would say no. 

Little did you see, he broke out into a cheerful smile and thanked his lucky stars before responding coolly, "I'd be honored to stay with you tonight." 

The elevator dinged just in time and you held his hand all the way to your bedroom before finally standing to face him. You studied his face for the nth time tonight. He was still beautiful each time and the moonlight only further deified his beauty further, "You're all so beautiful." You mused, reaching up to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"And all yours." He breathed.

You scoffed, "Sounds impossible." 

"Start believing, my darling." His voice was as smooth and deep as ever and you looked into his eyes and found an emotion you'd never seen before. 

Maybe you could do this. Maybe Taehyung was right and all 7 of them felt the same. Maybe you were deserving of sex and love.

And quite possibly it was your own resignation of maybe of the whole situation that made you reach up and push his suit jacket off of his shoulders. Confused, he still shrugged off the jacket, letting it fall to the floor. You reached up and began undoing the third button on his shirt. With more of his chest exposed you reached your hands up and feel the exposed skin of his chest softly, "Baby, what are you- fuck!" You cut him off, leaning up to suck onto his neck harshly before licking the spot. Your breath hit his neck, "You have got to be careful or I may not be able to control myself." You merely smiled before licking a stripe along the column of his throat and you could feel the vibration of his groan against your tongue before kissing along his jaw, "I don't want you to think I just confessed to you so I could come up here and-" He cut himself off with a strangled growl as you shifted your leg up for your thigh to brush against his erection.

"I like how cumming feels knowing you're still going to like me the next day." You spoke honestly and Taehyung wanted to find every person who didn't make you feel that way, "Unless you don't want to do anything, which is fine." You nuzzled into his neck, "I just, want to be close to you in more ways than one." 

He pulled back to look at you properly and found no doubt in your eyes. With Jimin, sexual acts had been a show of emotions. Now that you thought about it, even what happened with Yoongi and Jin felt like something different than what you were used to. In each sexual encounter, there was a level of care, making it feel so alien. Even with Jungkook and Hoseok, there was something there that you didn't know, intimacy. And yet, it felt so good.

Nevertheless, he asked, "Are you sure?" You nodded and he smiled, head dipping down to kiss you deeply. You continued your work on the buttons of his shirt while your tongues felt each other. Your hands went to his belt, undoing the Italian leather before you pulled away from his mouth and began kissing down his neck and his hands intertwined with your hair, "Baby, you don't have to make me cum." He breathed and you sucked at his neck to protest.

"I want to feel you in my mouth." You whined, hand reaching into the pants you unbuttoned to grip his dick over his briefs, "Please?" 

He nodded, eyes heavy, unsure how he could ever say no to you in the first place, "On the bed though, I don’t want you to hurt your knees." His voice was soft and you giggled at his wholesome request but nodded anyway.

You sat on the bed as he rid himself of his mostly taken-off clothing. You both tangled into each other as he kissed while he laid over you on your bed. You lightly pushed him to flip over so you were on top of him, legs straddling his hips. His hands glided over your thighs, squishing the skin gleefully as you continued peppering kissing down his chest, pressing your core into his bare erection, making you let out a needy moan, “You’re so hard.” You whispered, mouth sliding down his body.

Before you knew it, you reached his dick and of course, it was pretty. You wrapped your hands around the base and he sucked in a breath through his teeth before you licked at the precum at the tip before taking as much of him as you could in your mouth and he let out the most delicious grunt,” So good to me, my little lamb.” He praised you in a gravelly voice and you felt yourself get wetter as his hands curled into your hair, “Fuck, just like that.” He groaned as you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him further. The dark room was filled with sounds of you drooling all over his erection as he praised you and was very vocal with his pleasure. The praise made you moan against his dick in delight, “My little lamb likes to be praised, huh?” He cooed, voice strained and breath heavy as you nodded, never letting his length escape your lips, “So perfect for me, aren’t you?” You hummed in delight as he threw his head back, fingers tensing in your hair as he did his best to not pull it or push your head down. However, determined to please, you guided his hand to push you further, nodding to let him know it was okay. He was gentle as he guided your head, his other hand intertwining with yours as a sweet gesture. You bobbed rhythmically and you could hear his noises becoming less and less controlled, “Fuck, I’m getting close.” He warned and you responded with a strong suck that made his hips lift off the bed, “Where do you want me to cum?” He asked urgently and you answered by looking up at him through your lashes with a look way too innocent for someone about to drink down his cum. It was that look that sent him over the edge and you felt him cum in your mouth. You drank him dry before letting his dick go with a resounding pop.

“Did I do well?” You asked and, his hand still in your hair, pulled you to him as he nodded before planting a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Perfect, baby, perfect.” He was breathless but still intent on kissing you deeply as he sat up, hands going to your thighs to grip the hem of your shirt, “Can I taste you, little lamb?” He asked and you nodded.

“Please.” You whined as he kissed your throat, going over the hickeys you had from the other me in the house, all of them mostly faded except for the one Jimin gave you. He lifted the shirt, only detaching from marking you to strip you of your clothing. He laid you down as he slipped your panties off, groaning at how you were glistening.

“You this wet for me, sweetheart?” He spoke huskily and you hummed desperately as his finger slid from your clit to your drenched hole slowly, “I really wanted to go slow, but fuck,” His finger slid in with little resistance much to his delight, “You’re just so ready for me, aren’t you?” You nodded, panting as his finger fucked slowly into you and he raised a brow, expecting you to be verbal.

“Yes, yes, I’m ready Sir, please.” You gasped out, fighting the urge to wiggle your hips as you confirmed with the honorific you trusted him enough to give yourself fully.

“Just because you’ve been so sweet to me,” He leaned down, breath fanning over your drenched core, “I won’t make you beg this time.” He kissed your clit, making you twitch before his tongue licked a stripe from your clenching hole to your clit, making you gasp, “You taste so fucking good, no wonder Jin and Yoongi were so smug for days.” He rasped and felt you clench around him further, “Oh?” He chuckled darkly as his tongue flicked your clit, “You like when I talk about the others? You wish they were here watching you squirm around my finger?” You writhed in delight as he slid another finger in, “You wish they were here helping me get you off so pretty, holding you down so you’ll be still like a good girl?” He teased you and it only soaked his fingers and tongue further as he slurped you intently. Taehyung had been waiting what felt like his whole life to have you come apart in his clutch and feel your sweet cum on his tongue.

He tasted you intently, fucking into you a little quicker as he let you squirm around him. He would be lenient and kind this time around, because of both of your desperations and tearful confessions. There was so much to feel and so much to taste, and he just wanted to have you crumble in his clutch. You were well on your way to be his, theirs, and he would be yours in return. He wanted to channel his hunger for you as he moaned into your pussy. You were already getting off by making him cum and now, you were unsure how long you would last if he kept flexing his tongue and running it over your clit as he curled his fingers in your cunt, hitting a particularly sensitive spot that made your back arch off the bed.

He murmured dirty and sweet nothings into your pussy as you clutched the sheets with a death grip, doing your best to not push his head into your core. You wanted him to have total control over your body and pleasure in this moment, “You’re getting close.” He cooed teasingly and you nodded, spurring him to take his fingers out.

You cried out as he chuckled, sucking your juices from the two fingers, “Please, I wanna cum, please, please!” You whimpered, pushing your hips up as he let his fingers go from his mouth.

“Shit, you’re so fucking cute.” He groaned, hands pinning your hips to the bed as you squirmed, “I’ll make you cum, baby, don’t worry.” He kissed at your clit, eliciting a desperate cry, “You just have to be really good for me and cum while I fuck you with my tongue.” He licked at your hole as you nodded eagerly, “Can you be good for me and do that?” His voice was dripping with lust.

“Yes, Sir, I can, I will, please!” You babbled, having been so close to cumming just moments ago.

You calling him Sir made his teasing nature disappear as he slid his tongue into you with a groan on his end and with you nearly screaming as he fucked into you. He moved inside of you as your walls fluttered, slowly clenching more and more as you could feel your high coming. It was when his hand went to rub quick circles onto your clit that you came with a strangled moan.

His tongue fucked you through your high and he only pulled away when your back settled back onto the bed and you were trying to catch your breath. He kissed your stomach before going to put on his briefs as he slid your panties back on. He hovered over you, placing a quick kiss on your mouth as you wrapped your arms around him, humming in bliss, “You’re such a good girl.” You keened at his praise as he placed a kiss on your cheek before rolling over to pull you in his arms, holding you tight.

“Now you get to be smug.”You giggled tiredly, eyes closing as you listened to his heartbeat.  

He chuckled, equally tired as he kissed the crown of your head, “I already am.” He mused, “Goodnight, little lamb.” His voice was soft and sweet as you could only muster another blissful hum.

Now, you were starting to understand what was so different about all of your sexual, or near-sexual, interactions with almost everyone. It was the emotion in it. 

You’ve had people say they liked you, get what they want, and then never see you again. However, the guys, barring Tae and Jimin, hadn’t said they liked you, but they tried to communicate it. They held you close, they stayed to cuddle with you after. There was care in the way they touched your body and it was liberating. It was frightening, the idea of getting used to something that could just go away one day, but nevertheless, you let your consciousness fade, knowing he would be there tomorrow morning.

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[thefanficmonster]

Oblivious

Valkyrae (Rae) x Reader (Gender Neutral) ft. Corpse Husband

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: In the most desperate of times, we may or may not be used to hearing the phrase ‘Beggers can’t be choosers’ which is exactly why Y/N’s found themself asking the most hopeless of cases when it comes to love and romance - Corpse, for help.

Requested by Xara. Hi darling! Thank you so much for this wonderful request you’ve sent me - I love writing for Rae (excuse my bi excitement, I’m just a HUGE simp) and I can’t thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to do so. Sorry it’s been two months since you requested this but here it finally is and I hope it makes up for the wait. Love, Vy ❤

“Corpse, I’m in desperate need for help.“ I don’t even bother with a friendly or even polite greeting. Being best friends for as long as we have, Corpse and I excluded the politeness that comes with phone calls a long time ago, especially when calling with an emergency. Though, let’s be honest, if I’m calling him on the phone and not on video chat like I usually do, it is an emergency.

“Given that you’re asking me, I can imagine how desperate you are.“ He has the audacity to laugh in response, causing me to roll my eyes. 

Now, don’t get the wrong idea - I love Corpse with all my heart. Him and I have been through A LOT together considering we know each other since we were teenagers. However, there are some instances in life when he simply doesn’t get me. Not that he doesn’t try to, he does and does so very hard, but he rarely succeeds. Trying is what matters, of course. Given that he is my only close friend, I can only ever turn to him with my problems though I try my best not to bother him too much, but when things get REALLY tough, I can’t help but go and vent to him. Luckily, he’s always been very understanding, but it may be because he feels like he owes me for all the times he has turned to me with his problems. I’ve tried to explain that he shouldn’t feel such a way, but that’s rather hypocritical of me cause I feel the same way.

Alright, enough digressing, back on track!

“Desperate doesn’t even begin to summarize how I feel.“ I sigh, plopping down on the couch in my living room, kicking my feet up on the coffee table as I cover my eyes with my hand. “Brutally miserable is, I think, the correct term to use here.“

I hear Corpse let out a quiet ‘oof’, one I think he hoped I wouldn’t hear. “And what led you to finally give in and ask for help, not that I can offer you much?”

I can’t help but snort at that, a snort that serves as a replacement to slapping myself across the face. “Rae texted me yesterday asking if I’d like to play Minecraft with her and I took THREE HOURS to respond! Not on purpose, I just couldn’t think of something good to say!” I know I sound like a whiney kid, but I think I’ve passed that threshold LONG ago. Of course, this whiney kid version of me only surfaces around Corpse and Corpse only. No one else is allowed to see me like this or that would legit be the end of any sort of pride I may have left in me.

“You mean you couldn’t choose between ‘Sure, I’d like that!’ and ‘Of course, I’d love to!’? Please say yes.“ Corpse already sounds disappointed and he hasn’t even heard the worst of it yet.

“No and sit tight, it gets worse. I...“

He cuts me off, “Wait, no, don’t say it. Let me guess - you turned her down? Keep in mind if you say yes I’m hanging up on you.”

I remain silent, pinching the bridge of me nose and cringing as hard as my facial muscles are willing to allow. I can’t say yes, not cause he’ll hang up but because admitting it makes it more real, and the more real it is the more depressed it’ll make me and I will go back to being a self-deprecating mess that refuses to be productive or properly functioning - aka ‘Whiney Kid Maximum’.

“I’m hanging up.“ Corpse says after waiting five seconds for my response that only comes in the form of dead silence which is more than enough of an answer in and of itself.

“No, please don’t!“ I squeak out despite my agony, “I’ll never break the cycle if you don’t help me, Corpse! I’m a hopeless case!“

“You’re a hopeless case with or without me, Y/N.“ He states, angering me ever so slightly. “Not only cause you really are, but because I have nothing useful to offer you. Not even a single advice. Even if I did, giving it to you would by hypocritical when considered how bad I am on this field myself. Hell, the very person you’re head over heels for is my personal matchmaker. If anything, you should be asking her how to swoon her...“ He pauses.

So does my brain.

For a second we’re both quiet, the silence on the line suggesting big plans are being developed - well, not on my end but still.

“Now there’s an idea...“ He mutters more to himself than to me.

“No!“ I shriek fearfully, “Please, if you love me even the tiniest bit, Corpse, don’t put me in a situation where I have to be alone with Rae! Not IRL not in a Discord call - not in ANYTHING. I close up and end up seeming unfriendly and rude because of my inability to talk to her like a normal human being! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just can’t do it! So please don’t make me.“

I maybe can’t read minds, but hell if I can’t at least have a rough guess of what’s on my best friend’s mind - I know he’s already scheming and coming up with odd solutions to my problem - some of which will cause me more problems but let’s not even mention those. That being said, I need to prevent him from actually carrying out any of his absurd schemes, otherwise it’s game over for me.

“Hmm, ok fine, but only cause I wanna spare you your own awkwardness. Consider it charity.“ He sighs, the disappointment even more evident now.

I sigh too, but I do so in defeated relief. It’s bittersweet, to be honest. “Thank you.”

“Don’t.“ He says sharply, “Don’t thank me. It’ll make me feel like I’m encouraging your behavior.“

Well, screw my feelings, I guess. I’m left on this battlefield alone, aren’t I?

Corpse hanging up the call confirms that I am, indeed, alone.

                                                             *  *  *

“Hello?“

“Are you still in bed, for the love of God? It’s noon!“ Not only did he have the audacity to wake me up with his phone call, but now he has the audacity to judge me on my sleeping habits as well. Some darn nerve he has.

“What do you want, Corpse?“ I grumble out, groggy and now grumpy too. The last thing I need is the only person I can turn to turning on me. Especially not now. I don’t need his or anybody else’s judgement of me or my life, it’ll hurt too much.

“I want to know how long you haven’t showered, Y/N.“ He barks back, causing me to roll my eyes. “And when’s the last time you actually ate something healthy and nutritious and not just greasy takeout?”

“I showered last night!“ I straighten up and frown, feeling offended despite his questions being justifiable. I think that’s exactly why I’m pissed off, to be honest - he knows me and my habits too well. “And you’re just being hypocritical on the eating part!“

“Whatever.“ He mutters, allowing me to feel at least a tiny sense of victory for having proven him wrong, “Get your ass up and come play Minecraft with me, you need to be cheered up asap.“ He continues, much to my dismay. “And don’t even think about saying ‘no’. If you do, just remember, I have your address and a strong will to kick your ass into shape.“

“Into shape? We’re going to the gym or something?“ I’m honestly confused and intrigued now. Maybe the gym isn’t such a bad idea, I’m sure I could become really good friends with the punching bag.

Corpse sighs exasperatedly in a way I can basically hear him roll his eyes as well, “Not that kind of shape, Y/N. Just get on Discord, seriously, I’m worried about you.“ 

That sentence strikes a nerve. Something about that genuine concern in his voice reminds me that I still need to move on from focusing so strongly on just my failures, no matter how big or small, and keep pushing forward, if not for myself then for the people who care about me. For Corpse especially, seeing as how he’s sort of been my babysitter ever since my feelings towards Rae started to consume me whole and suffocate me. I don’t know how or when it happened, in fact I can best describe it as the Titanic: I was doing ok and then instead of hitting an iceberg the iceberg of feelings hit me and I started sinking. Corpse was there to offer me a hand to help me keep at least my head above the surface. He can’t pull me out of the water but he’s not willing to let go either. I’m afraid holding on like that will tire him out to the point of letting go of me completely, but I’m afraid of sinking too. You see my dilemma here, no?

“Ok, give me twenty minutes.“

I would have probably continued sleeping or just chilled on social media, refusing to get out of bed for at least another hour, but the debt I feel towards Corpse is stronger than the desire to be a slob so I motivate myself with every power my fragile mind can fish out of the void and push the covers off me, shivering at the drastic change in temperature around my body now that I’m exposed to the rather cool air in my room, my pajamas hopeless at providing me with any warmth.

Twenty minutes later sharp, I’m seated at my desk, in front of my computer with my headphones on, taking one last encouraging breath before entering the call where Corpse is waiting for me.

“Yo.“ I greet him half-heartedly, drawing invisible abstract patterns on my desk with my finger as if I’m avoiding eye contact with him IRL.

“Glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of punctuality at least.“ He chuckles, sounding a lot more pleasant and a lot more like my friend Corpse and less like sergeant Corpse Husband who was speaking with me on the phone earlier.

“Very funny.“ I murmur in my now common brooding manner, “Anyway, enough about me, how are you doing? Anything interesting happen since we last spoke?“

“You mean in the past ten hours? No, nothing interesting apart from that I managed to catch a few z’s.“ He replies as I join the Minecraft server, managing to get a smile out of me.

“Hey, that’s nice to hear! Good for you, Corpsie.“ I say, honestly proud and happy for him.

“Yeah, and just so you’re not calling me hypocritical on the topic of eating, I’m currently cooking myself lunch.“ He points out, now just straight up peacocking, “On that note, I got a pot on the stove so you’ll have to excuse me for a sec.“

“Please go. Don’t set your apartment on fire the first time you cook” I snicker, leaning back in my chair and fetch my phone to kill the time while he’s gone to tend to whatever attempt at a meal he has prepping in his kitchen. I feel bad for his stomach, and his kitchen, already.

“Corpse? Hi!“

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no - tell me that was an auditory hallucination and I didn’t actually hear that just now! TELL ME!

“Rae?“ I blurt out, almost falling backwards out of my chair, eyes wide, jaw hanging slightly.

Just then I get a text from Corpse:

Consider me dead and carry the convo. I know you’ve got this, Y/N

Oh that prick is gonna get it!

“Y/N? Hi! Sorry, Corpse didn’t mention you’d be playing with us, but it’s so nice to be hearing from you! It feels like it’s been forever.“ Rae replies, cheery and enthusiastic as ever, just like the absolute sweetheart she is.

With Corpse absent from his position, without his metaphorical hand holding mine, I’m metaphorically sinking and drowning. Maybe the drowning part isn’t so metaphorical after all, considering I actually am drowning in all the thoughts produced by my mind at the moment. A mind that’s going completely haywire, might I add.

“Hehe, well, funny thing, he didn’t tell me you’d be playing with us either.“ I chuckle anxiously, already breaking out in a nervous sweat. I solemnly promise to kill Corpse first chance I get, that way he’ll at least be dead for real.

“He set us up, huh? What’s his game, where even is he?“ Rae asks, properly confused as she should be.

All on-point questions, hun. And I can’t answer any of them logically.

“Um, you know, he’s off doing...something.“ And there go my conversational skills out the window, I hope they send me a postcard one day.

“Whatever, enough about Mr. Ominous. Tell me, what’s been keeping you busy?“ Oh crap, this is the question I’ve been fearing. Mostly cause I’m not prepared for it. “Actually no, let me rephrase: Why have you been avoiding me recently?“

‘Oh crap’ squared. Tripled.

“Whaaat? Avoiding you? Where’d you get that idea?“ I’m aware of my high pitched voice, but it’s not like I can do much to tone it down. Every part of me is in critical panic mode and rationality has accompanied my aforementioned conversational skills out the window.

“I don’t know, Y/N. Ignoring my texts, leaving me on ‘Seen’ and then declining my offer just to accept the same one coming from Corpse - can’t really blame me for finding it shady.“ She replies, her words making me wince and hide my face in the palms of my hands as though it’ll shield me from Rae’s brutal honesty and forthrightness. 

“I’ve been...bad at replying to everyone lately, nothing personal, I swear.“ Yeah, that sounded convincing, good gosh-darn job, Y/N!

“Why’s that?“ Something about her tone suggest she knows I’m lying and is just humoring me and my agony. I don’t know if to thank her for it or wish she’d just rip off the band-aid and confront me head-on. In that case I’d have only one of two options: freeze up or spill my guts. Honestly, I don’t know which is worse. “I thought you’d reach out to me, given you’ve found yourself in a pickle.”

I frown, confused and wary like I’m walking on thin ice over a pool of sharks, “Pickle? What pickle?“

“Corpse mentioned you needed dating advice.“ She replies simply as though it should’ve been obvious and as if it’s the most casual, regular and normal thing. Little does she know...

“Um, yeah, I guess you can call it that.“ I murmur sheepishly, my cheeks reddening.

“Who’s the lucky girl?“ She asks, the excitement now replacing the previous suspicion she was fronting, making me nervous as hell.

My heart skips a beat, “How’d you know I’m crushing on a girl?“

“Uh...“ She stumbles over her words, pausing to collect her thoughts and formulate a response, “Corpse told me!“ When the reply finally arrives it’s as high pitched as mine was earlier, suggesting something ain’t right.

I stay quiet, my mind and heart racing which is quicker. My leg is bouncing, my fingers are tapping the keyboard rhythmically as I rack my brain, pushing it to put the pieces of this enigmatic puzzle together, connect the dots.

When it finally does, I’m left with a horrific end-result, a realization that makes me go pale as a ghost, “He told you who said girl is too, didn’t he?” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. I keep the tone low so she doesn’t notice how shaky it is.

It takes her a few seconds to reply, but when she does I kinda wish she hadn’t, “Maybe...”

My first instinct is to excuse myself from the call, pack all my kitchen knives and drive to Corpse’s house but with my limbs having lost any and all feeling in them that is practically impossible. So, I settle for my second instinct which is hiding my face in the palms of my hands as though they can shield me from the immense embarrassment Corpse has set me up for.

“Listen...“ I start, not sure where I wanna go with this, “You don’t have to say anything, I get the hint. No need to bother with a gentle reje-“

“I like you too, Y/N!“ Rae cuts off my rambling with a melodic laugh, “I’m sorry, but you can be very oblivious sometimes, and I just wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine for a bit. Sorry if I freaked you out.“ Judging by her tone, she’s not sorry at all. In fact, she’s one step away from bursting out into laughter.

“Trust me, ‘freaked out’ doesn’t even begin to describe it.“ I sigh, exasperatedly, sinking into my chair alike a deflated balloon. “You and Corpse are gonna pay for that heart attack you led me to the brink of!”

This time, she doesn’t hold back, letting out the laughter she’s been holding back this whole time, “I don’t know how Corpse will do that, but could I pay my dues with a brunch on Friday?”

My eyebrows shoot up, “Miss Valkyrae, is this you asking me out on a date?“ I ask teasingly - aka with more confidence than I feel.

Please say ‘yes’. Please say ‘yes’. Please say ‘yes’.

“I don’t know, what do you think, Y/N?“ She asks, tone just as teasing as mine.

“Hey, I’m not as oblivious as you claim I am!“ I argue light-heartedly, “Does 2PM work for you?“

“Any time works for me.“ Rae replies, a smile blatantly evident in her voice. A smile that unleashes a flock of butterflies in my stomach.

And just like that, I have a date with the girl I’ve had a crush on for the longest time. It happened so fast it’s practically a blurred part in my mind, but one thing I’m sure will be crystal-clearly imbedded in my mind forever is that brunch on Friday. Just then, I get yet another text from Mr. Schemer himself.

That wasn’t so hard now, was it?

Some nerve he has, I swear to God.

[some-dr-writings]

Teruteru x shy, affection starved Reader

·       The rainy season had rolled around just in time for the weekend. You sat in your dorm room, just mindlessly looking out the window. Wrapped in a blanket you held a cup of hot cocoa in hand, adoring it’s warmth, at least protecting your hands from the chill that had begun to slowly creep into your room. You sighed, hiding deeper into the fabric, desperate for it to trap in even the smallest bit more heat. Suddenly you heard that distinctive ‘ding’ sound ring from your phone, seeing it was a text from your boyfriend… boyfriend… It had been a while but it still felt new to you, making you giddy all over again. You groaned, not wanting to move even a little from your cozy corner… Yet not wanting to ignore him either you braved the cold, not realizing just how much even your thin blanket was helping, feeling the cold immediately consume your arm before getting the phone, ducking back into your hiding place. ‘My love~ it’s lunch time! Come meet me at the kitchen ASAP please!’ It was noon already? Checking the time in the corner you saw it to be true. You really shouldn’t have been surprised. Since you had started dating, Teru would cook for you on the weekends. Not wanting to keep him waiting you searched through your closet, tossing on a jacket and boots, and taking your umbrella before setting off.

·       “Ah! There’s my sweet sunshine on this dreadfully cold, lonely, rainy day!” He smirked seeing how you were in aw at how warm the kitchen was! Just as he planned! “Come now, come now!-” He took your hand, dragging you to a counter where he had chairs set up. “-We must eat before your food gets cold.” “O-okay.” Teru excitedly chuckled to himself seeing how you blushed, getting shy from him just holding your hand. You still weren’t used to it despite how often he’d do so, and your reaction was just as cute, if not cutter than the last every time.

·       Teru had put together a piping hot meal, each bite seeming to warm your whole being, right down to the core. You hummed, adoring the delectable flavors, every last spice and how they popped yet complimented one another perfectly like an orchestrated symphony. Resting his elbows on the table, Teru rested his chin on the palms of his hands, just dreamily watching you so thoroughly enjoying his labor of love.

·       You sighed, content and full, yet also wanting more just for the taste. “Thank you so much. This was just what I needed. Too bad the kitchen’s cooled down though, back to being cold again.” “Hmm? What do you mean?” He sidled up to you, that glint in his eyes he always got when he was going to make a lude remark or do something similar in nature. “We can keep each other warm.” He wrapped his arms around you, pulling himself close. He loved seeing how that blush exploded onto your cheeks.

·       Then you hugged him back. But… how you did so… it felt odd to him. You hugged him so tightly and securely, even pulling him into your lap, it felt like this was going to be the last time you ever hug another human being. “Darling? Are you alright?” “I’m fine.” He let go, scooching back so he could see your face, and hesitantly you let go too. “Hmm… I don’t know about that.” “Well… I guess I did something wrong… sorry.” He huffed, placing his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. “Now this is the shying away I don’t find cute. What in the world could you possibly be apologizing for?” “I… w-well… I’m not… used to hugging, and I thought I did something wrong… sorry.” “… What!? Oh, no, no, no! This will not do!” To your surprise he held you tightly. “You, my Candy Apple, am my partner. I have no idea why someone as sweet at you did not get all the affection you so rightly deserve before now, but you’re with me.” He hummed, so tenderly peppering kisses on your face. “I will treat you right!”

·       Whatever intentions Teru had before instantly vanished from his mind, his top priority being hugs, kisses, and cuddles. From that day onward he’d go out of his way to be much, MUCH more physically affectionate, making sure you knew you were loved. You were his family, and Teru always treated his family right. Your happiness was his top priority now, and showing you his love outside of cooking was something he rather enjoyed!

[musette22]

I’ve been having kinky thinky thoughts and wanted to get your opinion. What kind of lover do you think Steve Rogers is? All old-fashioned polite, gentlemanly, careful and tender? Treats his lover like they’re precious and spends hours upon hours worshipping every inch of them, slowly licking, tasting, all soulful eyes and gasping kisses, pure passion personified?

Oooooor more in charge, dominant, sure of himself and his sexual side, likes it little rough and dirty, fast paced and wild. Strong, athletic, all sorts of positions. Leaves his lover crying out in bliss after just TAKING THEM, just devours and devours…

Of course, nothing to say he can’t be both, but I wonder what he defaults to. What feels more natural to him. What his main tastes are, if you will.

I mean honestly I’m just enjoying thinking about all the ways Steve gets jiggy wit it…

(I don’t know if I should apologise for getting all NSFW over here or not, haha).

Hi hi hello! I'm sorry for taking a while to reply to this! But thank you so much for your message and please don't ever apologise for sending me something nsfw, I love that shit and this is a great question 😘 I hope you don't mind that I Stuckify it, because basically this blog operates on the assumption that Steve's lover is and always will be Bucky Barnes <3

For me, the question of what kind of lover Steve is depends to a large extent on his characterisation in any given story, whether in canon or fic, and on his dynamic with Bucky/Bucky's characterisation in that story. In some stories, Steve is inexperienced and bashful when it comes to love and romance and sex, and in that case I think he'd be a bit more hesitant (but eager, always eager), taking his time exploring Bucky's body and taking things slow initially (unless Bucky really riled him up until Steve snapped and gave it to him good, of course, or if they're still at war and feeling rushed and a little desperate).

In other stories (usually AUs), Steve is extremely experienced and confident and authoritative, in which case he'd be much dirtier and experimental, and/or much more about the teasing and ordering about (usually in these kinds of stories, Bucky loves being ordered about, so that works out :p). I personally have trouble envisaging any Steve as someone who just fucks hard and fast (unless that's what they're both craving in that moment) while chasing his own pleasure and getting super athletic just for the kick of it. But that's mostly because I can't see Steve as anything but enamoured with Bucky and wanting to please him as much as he possibly could. Maybe in some enemies to lovers scenarios I could see it, in the beginning, but that's just not really how I view Steve.

And of course there are so many more versions of Steve in between who each have their own specific characteristics as lovers, but I think the characterisation I like most is Steve as a selfless lover, who's just completely in love with Bucky and wants to make him feel as good as he possibly can. A lover who sometimes is consumed by lust and passion and just pounces on Bucky, intent on taking him apart, and other times takes his time with him, worshipping Bucky's body until he's wrung every last drop of pleasure out of him. I also see him as someone who is very physical (particularly post-serum, when he has more autonomy over his body) and who loves to use his hands and mouth extensively during sex, as opposed to just getting his dick wet and get off asap.

And then I do also adore a more subby Steve, who just wants to be as close to Bucky as possible, wants to be good for him, needs Bucky to make the decisions for the both of them when they're in bed. A lover who wants to be either made slow, sweet love to or be fucked hard, depending on his mood, but who always gets a kick out of knowing Bucky is feeling good because of him. Oh, and also post-sex cuddling. So much cuddling. Little koala boy <3

Ok, so this didn't answer your question at all, did it 😂 I'm so sorry, I always find questions like these difficult to answer in a straighforward way because so much of this is determined by context, you know? But I did love thinking about this (let's be honest, we all love thinking about Steve gettin' some) so thank you again for the ask, and do feel free to let me know any additional thoughts you have 😘

[starlightsearches]

Hi so i had a request idea. Hux being married to some woman bc he had to for propaganda or whatever and reader (who works closely with hux) is with them both and pryde after a meeting or at a gala, and in discussion the wife and pryde are speaking highly of brendol. The reader essentially realises hux’s wife supports and agrees with the abuse that hux has endured and so the reader takes him for a private discussion to reassure and comfort him, show that he has someone on his side. Thank you xx

Someone Else

Ahhh, writing this made me so sad, anon, you have no idea. But also, I loved it and I couldn’t stop 😰 Thank you for the request, I hope you enjoy! (Also I modified the prompt just a little bit and I hope you don’t mind)

Requests are closed ✨

Hux x Reader (no pronouns)

AN: So I’m headed on a little road trip with my sister today, and as soon as I get back, I’ll be packing up and moving, and then immediately starting work at my new school 😱 I’m not sure how this will affect my writing schedule etc, but don’t be too surprised if I’m MIA for the next week or so. I promise I’ll get back to my requests ASAP 💖 love you all 🥰🥰🥰

Warnings: ANGST, infidelity, language, not a happy ending really 🙁

Even in your most creative thoughts, it’s hard to imagine a more pathetic situation than this one. You’ve been in love with General Hux, your boss, for as long as you can remember, too cowardly to tell him how you feel. And now you’ve been forced to plan, and attend, his fucking wedding. To someone else.

You fidgeted through the whole thing: the dinner, the reception, the ceremony. Spent the whole time chewing your lip to pieces with your eyes fixed on the general, waiting for him to say something, to stop this. You could imagine how it would happen perfectly—a vision that sustained you through the whole event.

It would happen during the vows; he'd begin reading the words—the ones that you prepared for him, words about fidelity and commitment but completely void of love—and then he'd falter, pause, and his eyes would find you in the back of the crowd. The audience would fill with whispers, but you wouldn't notice at all, wouldn't hear any of it because he'd be looking at you, he'd see you looking so beautiful in the attire you chose especially for this moment and he'd realize that he’d been blind this whole time, and now . . .

The vision always got a little fuzzy there, but it was only because you couldn't wait for your favorite part: the one where he kissed you in front of all those people, a kiss so dramatic and consuming that everyone would know that it was you he loved. That it had always been you.

It didn't happen that way. No matter how deeply you tried to immerse yourself in a daydream, you couldn't miss the moment your general and his betrothed were pronounced man and wife, and the commitment was sealed with a kiss. The light smattering of applause must have been loud enough to hide the sound of your heart shattering, because no one else seemed to notice.

It’s long over now. You’re alone in the reception area, halfheartedly ripping the silk tablecloths from where they lay before balling them up and throwing them into a messy pile. You don’t have to do it, someone will be coming along to clean up eventually, but you’d like to keep busy. If you go back to your quarters, you’ll have to be alone with your thoughts.

Hux announces his presence with a slight cough that still manages to startle you, and when you turn to face him your heart breaks all over again. He looks very handsome in the uniform he wears, one made especially for this occasion—regal but not too flashy—and your breath catches in your lungs despite your mind's insistence that you're no longer allowed such feelings.

“I thought I’d find you in here, Lieutenant,” he says to break the silence, and you nod as you feel your cheeks grow warm.

“Congratulations, General,” you reply, and you almost manage to sound like you mean it, “or should I call you your highness now?”

He gives you the slightest of smirks, just a hint of a smile in response to your attempt at humor, but you can tell what he’s thinking. Emperor Hux—a title made no less impressive when you consider that it was gained through marriage. It’s what he’s always wanted; you can be happy for him.

“General is still appropriate,” he replies, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet with pride, “I’m still your commanding officer.”

“Of course, sir,” you reply, and then, because you can’t avoid the subject any longer, "is Bristol getting ready for your departure?" It's the one concession you’ve allowed yourself—refusing to use her title whenever she isn't around. Normally you’d be smug about it, like somehow you were getting back at her, but now it just leaves you feeling empty.

“She's actually entertaining the allegiant general at the moment, in my quarters,” he replies with feigned indifference, even though you know how he feels about Pryde, “he knows her father, apparently they used to be in acquaintance.” You purse your lips in response; there’s really no need for words. It doesn't surprise you that they would get along.

You had wanted to like Bristol. Before you ever met her, you had been determined to like her, hoped desperately that the general had found someone kind and loving and devoted, because he deserved happiness and acceptance even if you weren't the one giving it to him.

Whatever you were hoping for, Bristol is . . . something else. She's beautiful, certainly, and intimidating and determined—all things you would expect from the future empress of her own star system. You've also found her to be unnecessarily cruel and demanding, towards you at least, and anyone else she thought she could look down on.

Not that it matters—you're not the one married to her. And while she might not be affectionate towards the general, she had also never been openly antagonistic. Plenty of people lived through loveless marriages. The general must have taken this into account and decided that it was a worthwhile sacrifice.

They're a handsome couple. A smart couple. And soon enough, the hurt and the wanting would fade and you would be able to move on with your life. He'd just have to stop looking so nice in his uniform first.

"There's something else I need, lieutenant," he says, pulling you from your thoughts, "before I leave. I have some last minute notes, some reminders I forgot to mention before, for my absence." You can’t help but purse your lips again, this time to hide a smile of your own. He's been more nervous about his trip back to the Alfospar System than he had ever been for the wedding, and you can’t really blame him. Two weeks is a long time for someone like him to be away from their work. 

"I know I told you there'd be no talk of work today,” he continues, “but if you wouldn't mind-"

"Please, general, of course I'll take the notes," you interrupt with a smile, "I never believed that you could resist talking about work for a whole day."

You shouldn't tease him like this; you have to stop teasing him at all, because he tries not to smile again, and your pulse starts to race. Whenever he makes that stupid face, all you can think about is peppering his cheeks with kisses, teasing him again until he really would smile and you could bask in the happiness that you created. He only has to hide his smiles when he’s around you, and you’re stupid enough to think that means something. 

"They're in my quarters," he waits for you to drop the table cloth you'd been worrying in your hands throughout the conversation, and then you follow him through the dark and quiet corridors. Neither of you speak—you've spent too much time together to find the silence uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that means that you can hear every word coming from the open door to the general's quarters as soon as you approach.

Maybe they think they're being quiet, or maybe their voices carry, or maybe neither of them mind at all that anyone could wander right outside the door, listening to every word of what should be a private conversation.

"You could have done worse, dear, I'll give you that at least," it's Pryde's voice, his words traveling down the hallway; it’s like he's right next to you, like these are words that you're meant to hear, too, and your heart clenches in your chest because you know that's not the case.

"How exactly could I have done worse, general?" That's Bristol speaking, obviously, her tone all-too familiar, like she's suffering from a headache and she believes you're the cause. You have to stop this conversation now, before one of them says something that can't be unheard. You're about to take the first step, ready to announce your presence with some inane comment that would make Bristol roll her eyes and would hopefully make Pryde swallow whatever insult was about to leave his mouth. You're about to take the first step when Hux stops you with a hand on your shoulder and a look in his eyes that puts an end to any argument.

You hope to the gods that Pryde will, by some miracle, say something nice. Or at least, something not overtly mean. You listen and you wait, brimming with foolish hope, your eyes fastened on the general, watching the way his jaw tightens as he holds his breath, waiting for Pryde to respond.

"You know," he begins, and you can already hear the mirth, already know that his next words are going to be painful and you won't be able to protect the general from them, "I'm not actually sure." There's a slight pause and then the room is filled with their bright, callous laughter, laughter that spills out of the open door and floods the hallway so completely that you feel you might suffocate in it.

"I mean honestly, I don't think I've ever met a man so weak-willed," Bristol speaks again, and she's breathless from laughter, "he is absolutely spineless-"

"Thin as a slip of paper and just as useless," Pryde interrupts,"that's what his father used to say about him."

Bristol laughs again—just a short bark this time—before she responds, "Well, he's certainly no Brendol."

"You'd have thought his father could have beaten him into shape, but . . ." they laugh again—there’s no mistaking General Pryde’s true meaning—and General Hux has heard enough. Before you can even process everything they’ve said, he's turned on his heel, walking back the way you came.

General Hux always walks fast—because he always has places to be, he says—but you have to jog to catch up to him this time, and even then you lag behind. You stumble after him in your dress shoes, cursing the way they pinch your feet before giving up and ripping them off, pursuing him around the corner.

He goes to his office, probably because there's nowhere else for him to go, and you stop just inside the doorway, trying to catch your breath. He busies himself, or tries to, fidgeting with the sparse materials on his desk—intermittently picking up his data pad, dropping it again, running a coarse hand through his hair, then gripping the back of his chair with white-knuckled hands. It strikes you, in this moment, that you've never seen the general cry before. It makes sense—there's never really been a reason for it, but you wish he would cry now, as you feel your own eyes sting with tears, because, somehow, seeing him like this is so much worse.

“General,” your voice is too timid when you speak, and you clear your throat, willing away the tightness that grows steadily as you hold back your tears. He doesn’t look up.

 You go to him, take both of his hands in your own, trying to still him, trying to hide the fact that you're shaking too. In all your time together, you've never seen him act this way. It frightens you.

"I'm sorry." It's not enough, but it's all you have to offer: a fitting metaphor for your relationship. He doesn't respond, won't even look at you with those ice green eyes. "They're wrong about you, sir." You can hardly believe that you have to say it out loud. How could he not see what you saw?

"No, lieutenant," he's dejected in his response, almost hopeless, "I don't think they are." For a moment, it feels like your heart might explode with anger, an all-encompassing anger that fills you whenever you think of Brendol Hux. The general never told you much about his relationship with his father, but you’ve put together some of the pieces. Even after all this time—after all his success—he still falls into the traps set for him by that man. Still finds it so easy to believe that he is worthless despite all the evidence to the contrary.

"How can you say that?" You cup his chin in your hand on instinct, gentle but insistent, forcing him to look you in the eyes. If you weren't so distracted by the conversation at hand, you might have realized that this was the first time you'd ever laid a hand on his bare skin, skin that’s soft and cool beneath your fingers, might have better registered the electricity setting your palm alight at the contact, might have noticed the slight flush that materialized over the general's cheeks in response to your touch. But the anger still clouds your senses, and you don’t notice any of it. "Who knows you better, general? Me or them?"

You've caught him now. You feel the delicate flex of his jaw muscles shift, as he opens his mouth, prepared to argue with you, and then freeze when he realizes that he has nothing to say.

 "You are many things, sir, but spineless is not one of them," you take advantage of his silence, speaking faster, trying to get the words out as quickly as possible so that he won't have to spend another moment in this pain. "I don't think I've ever met anyone braver, or more determined, or more suited to lead . . ." You trail off there, your face growing warm. The nature of your position, your hand on his jaw, has drawn you closer, his face wandering unthinkingly towards yours, and you could count his eyelashes from this distance, number each and every one of his freckles if he'd just stay this close.

"Lieutenant-" General Hux doesn't try to pull away, but there's some distance in his tone. You know what he's thinking. You’re thinking it, too, of course. But you’ve never gotten this close before. 

"Can I kiss you, sir?" You shouldn't, but you have to. If he'll let you. If he wants you to.

"Why?" You feel the whispered question brush up against your cheeks, and despite everything else, you know that this is your moment.

"I just want you to know what it's like," you say, "to feel loved." You wait, take the opportunity to breathe him in, share the same air—something you've done for years but never like this, never close enough to feel the heat of it—the tip of your nose just barely brushing against his as he nods, and he’s shaking a little.

It's not the kiss you had envisioned, as you cup his face in both your hands and pull him closer. You move deliberately, let him watch until he goes cross-eyed and then his eyes fall closed, and your lips meet his, so soft it's more the ghost of a kiss than anything. You wait for him there, wait for him to reciprocate the affection you give him, and he does, pressing his mouth against yours with a tentative kind of tenderness. It's not the kiss you had imagined—it's everything.

You move together, slow and gentle, two familiar people learning each other in an entirely new way, and it's intoxicating—being held by him, feeling the way his hands trail your spine, the way the pad of his thumb traces your jaw. It would be perfect, if he didn't belong to someone else.

"What are we going to do now?" He pulls away just long enough to whisper the question and you don’t let yourself respond, kissing him again while you still can. You don’t want to admit it just yet, but you have no idea what you’re going to do. You haven’t got a clue.

[ahkaraii]

tov postgame drabblefic (3343 words)

“Raven?! Hey, Raven!”

Raven turns to smile at the little shrimp—who’s really more a jumbo shrimp now, with all the acne that comes with puberty—and waves. “Heya, Boss-man!"

Karol’s embrace draws a startled ‘oof!’ out of him, his blastia-heart creaking against his ribs. “You’re in town!” Karol exclaims. “And you didn’t say?!”

“I just got here, kiddo,” Raven says, patting Karol’s back—it used to be a pat on his head, but his head’s just about level with Raven’s now. “Damn, you’re getting tall!”

“You should’a said you were coming,” Karol grouses into his neck. “I’ve got a client I’m already late for across town.”

“Aww, that’s awright. I’ve got some time-sensitive stuff to get ta, too. We can join up after! Brave Vesperia’s still at the same place, yeah?”

“West corner across Saggitarius, yup!” Karol beams. “See you for dinner, then?”

“I’ll whip you up a Sashimi,” Raven promises.

“That’s a promise, pops!” Karol says, and dashes off. Raven scratches his messy hair and abruptly feels very self conscious about it. It’s just a casual nickname, old man, he don't mean naught by it. Relax.

After a fast-tracked meeting with Harry results in a tussle — poking gentle fun at the boy’s attempt at a beard earns him a “Your ass is grass, old man!!” and a surprisingly competent sword duel ensues — the young Master is turning into a proper Don, now — Raven subtly lets Harry disarm him and sprawls on the floor, dramatically defeated.

“Ohhh, these old bones!” Raven mimics being out of breath. “You’ve finally bested me, Master Harry. Do with my ass what you will.”

“Ugh! You’re so disgusting!” Harry is actually out of breath, so he still needs a bit more practice, but it’s leagues better than he was just a year ago. “A duel is an honourable exchange between men! Stop desecrating it with your jokes!”

“I don’t joke with my ass,” Raven says in his Serious Voice, enjoying Harry’s startled look before he dons his jester’s grin again. “Anywho, this old man’s got places to be, so! Toodles!”

“Wait! Raven! What the hell did you come here for!” Harry’s baritone is quite impressive when he gets proper angry. “Did you just come here to waste my time!”

“Never intentionally,” Raven promises. He’d dropped Flynn’s wax-sealed letter on Harry’s desk during their fight, and points to it as he nimbly leaps up to his usual open window. “There’s your homework, Master Harry! I’ll come by to collect it tomorrow at dawn, ‘kay?”

He leapfrogs out in time to hear Harry’s yelps of protest. “When did you put that there! God damnit, Raven!”

Raven’s grinning as he parkours his way away from Altosk’s headquarters and towards Brave Vesperia’s. If he sharply detours into Saggitarius tavern to catch up with the ladies (and the latest, juiciest gossip — who knew Heliord’s newest guild ambassador was trafficking drugs and possibly underage escorts? he did, now), then that’s just Raven being Raven, right? Karol’ll understand.

“I almost thought you wouldn’t come,” Karol says faux-lightly, when Raven finally makes it back a few minutes past midnight.

Aww, shit.

“Heeey, I promised, didn’t I? Business just stretched out a little.” Raven dithers at Karol’s knowing stare. “C’mon, you still up for a good ol’ Raven’s Special Sashimi?”

“Fish isn’t really fresh by midnight anymore,” Karol says drolly. “Unless you wanna go fishing at this hour?”

They’d only get sewer trash in Dahngrest’s polluted rivers, and the next best thing’s thirty minutes out, at the very least. “Ehhh—how bout a Beef Bowl?” Raven says. “Surely you got some cured meats in your pantry. C’mon!! I’ll teach you!”

“Aw, okay. I am pretty hungry.” Karol’s so easy to please, it’s both heartwarming and kind of sad. “I’ve tried making it before but I can never get mine to taste like yours did.”

“’S all in the seasoning, kiddo. Here, watch the master and learn!”

It’s well past two when they finally call it a night, bellies full and hearts warm; it’s solely because of this that Karol succeeds in wrestling a promise out of Raven that they’d talk more in the morning. See, Raven’s got orders to pick up Harry’s response to Flynn’s letter and hussle back to the Empire ASAP, but even he doesn’t have to heart to deny Karol this simple thing.

Ever since Brave Vesperia saved the world by ruining it, everyone’s been struggling to adapt to life without blastia and Raven’s somehow found himself smack in the middle between the two remaining powers: the Empire and the Guild Union. Former member of both and trusted by all due to his role in stopping the Adephagos, Raven’s got the privilege of being messenger boy between the leaders in lieu of formal meetings, due to the fact that a lack of blastia has made travel…immensely more time consuming.

He’s worn down all the possible routes between Dahngrest and Zaphias for over a decade; the presence or absence of blastia has not really affected Raven’s efficiency and timeliness, which, naturally, has made him an attractive player for both sides. It just sucks that this means he’s always on the go, never really spending much time in one place or another. The first six months couldn’t be helped, it was imperative that everyone get their shit together and master the essentials necessary in order to provide basic living to their respective citizens: barrier blastia had to be replaced with rotating squads of knights and guildsfolk trained to fight; food previously preserved by blastia now had to be kept refrigerated with imported Zophier ice, dominated by the Empire, which had to be kept from melting with salt from Weasand mines, dominated by Guilds; everyone had to coordinate and organise to secure trade routes and avoid conflict, etc, etc.

The next six months after that were peace talks and negotiations between what was quickly becoming independent kingdoms in separate countries. Sea travel had slowed the fuck down overnight, because blastia-fueled engines had become obsolete and everyone now had to rely on wind power, so every passing day each country was slowly but surely becoming more and more isolated from each other, and therefore gradually but surely more hostile.

Emperor Ioder ruled over the continent of Ilyccia with his aristocracy of nobles and meritocracy of knights, struggling to keep the Empire’s global standing while lacking the technology to enforce it; Tolbyccia was pretty much owned by Altosk, ostensibly headed by Harry, who was presently overrun with infighting due to the fact that the Union was composed of many, many guilds all clamouring for leadership, if not democracy; East Desier was dominated by the strong-spirited Palestralle guild and its current leader, Natz, whose militant-minded navy had quickly expanded toward West Hyponia now that the Union’s presence was months away by treacherous sea; East Hyponia was an oddly peaceful blend of both Guild and Empire, unique in its joint origin and therefore vocally neutral, though that was quickly becoming contested, and, hence, required Raven-the-Pageboy’s timely arrival to avoid it becoming a full out war. Ugh.

The Schwann part of him that still lived felt heavy resignation at the inevitability of violence—the first one to fall would be Raven, he knew, as no messenger could truly remain neutral in a tug of war between such powerful masters—but the more upbeat part of him was like, stop sweating the small stuff and just go with the flow. Shit always resolves itself one way or another, right?

Right?

“You leaving already?” Karol mumbles into his pillow when Raven rises at dawn; kid’s no longer the type to sleep deeply, it seems.

“Just visiting the young Master to collect his response letter for Flynn,” Raven promises quietly. “Go back to sleep, Karol. I’ll be back to make you breakfast before I’m gone.”

Karol eyes him tiredly but he manages a wan smile. “Okay, pops. I trust you.”

Raven feels goosebumps up his arm. Stupid blastia heart runs too damn cold. He heads out at a jog to warm himself up, since Dahngrest runs both chilly and damp at this hour.

Raven no longer sneaks into Altosk’s headquarters like he did when the Don was alive and Harry was a boy; for one, Don is no longer alive to vouch for his slipperiness and for another, Raven represents the Empire here as much as he represents the Guilds in Zaphias, and no one tolerates his antics as they did before, not with the threat of conflict so close to the horizon. He walks in through the front door and waves at all the folks waiting in line—Pecan, Cactus, Lima and good ol’ Walt; all familiar faces turning sour, as usual—and knocks politely on Harry’s door.

“Master Harry,” he sing-songs. “It is I, Raven the Great, come ‘round at last!”

“It’s been barely ten fucking hours,” Harry’s pissed off voice rings loud and clear through the door.

“Shall I come back at noon, then?” Raven asks diplomatically.

An explosive sigh. “No,” Harry mutters. “Get in here. And call Cactus in, too, would you?”

“You heard the Young Master,” Raven says, nodding at the aptly-named mercenary, with his spiked up armour and sharpened teeth.

“You don’t order us around anymore, traitor,” the prickly fellow spits and shoves past him, to whom Raven mockingly bows to as he passes.

Saviour of the world or not, it's no secret now Raven was a triple agent. The official story Harry graciously gave him is that the Don always knew about Raven’s split loyalty (which is true, probably) and trusted him anyway (which is true, too), so Harry and Altosk will continue to trust him as well (which is flattering, but increasingly doubtful). Harry's a good kid shoved into a position of leadership he's not very well suited for, but even Raven can't deny he's trying and doing better every day.

“Cutlass Cactus, I want you to deliver this to Sirena of Siren’s Fang as soon as possible,” Harry says shortly, handing the man a wax-sealed letter. “Wait for a response, but I await it at most a fortnight.”

“Understood, young Master,” Cactus says, thumping his chest at the honour. He takes the letter, glares at Raven, and makes his way out.

“As for you,” Harry says, “I have a question to ask you before I hand this reply over. A serious one.”

Raven feels his age and more. “Yeah?”

“Ioder is a good man. His dog Flynn is, too. I know this personally.”

There is no question here yet, and there are a fair amount of insults between the compliments, but Raven knows the heart of Harry, and he means well.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “They are.”

“But,” Harry continues, coldly. “Two kind heads on a hydra do not make it any less a monster.”

Raven hides a grimace by scratching at his sideburns. “The same can be said of the Guilds,” he says lightly. “Or of any organization grown large enough.”

“Stop twisting my metaphors,” Harry says shortly. “The question I wanted to ask is: what do you think the Empire's end goal is?”

And what is the Guild’s end goal, Schwann wants to counter, when the Guilds’ very existence rose out of violent rejection of the Empire? Raven, for his part, takes a deep breath and exhales it out as a thoughtful hum.

“I think the Empire was built to protect and manage blastia,” Raven muses. “And I think the Guilds were built to reject the Empire’ monopoly of them. But, well, there ain’t no blastia left, so… the Empire wants to micromanage what remains. And the Guilds do, too. Yeah?”

“So there can be no peace?” Harry concludes, tiredly.

“Harry,” Raven says, firmly. “Your grandfather, the Don, united the Guilds back when they were just a bunch of rowdy, armed assholes. Y’know how he did it?”

“By fighting the Empire?” Harry says dully.

“By uniting against a common enemy,” Raven insists. “By uniting against a common threat. The Empire is no longer the enemy—hell, think of the Empire as yet another guild. It’s just a group of rowdy, armed assholes. But you and they got a common enemy now, too.”

Harry looks at him sharply. “The Adephagos is no more,” he says, carefully, “right?”

“Not the Adephagos,” Raven says. “The lack of blastia. The lack of technology. The lack of creature comforts all of us got real used to. That’s our enemy now; the thing we all gotta pitch in together to fix.” Raven bows low to Harry, as low as he would to the Don. “I beg you, young Master: do not war with the Empire. Not now. See them as a business partner, instead.”

“Business, huh,” Harry says heavily, and then flicks his sealed letter in Raven’s direction, who catches it just before it smacks him in the face. “All right. Tell your Master we can’t afford a war, anyway.”

Something uncoils in Raven's chest. “You are my only Master, Harry,” he says, cheekily. Just like Flynn is his only Commandant, now.

“Ugh, the way you say it, you make it sound so gross,” Harry complains. “Get the fuck out of my room, old man. And call in Lima!”

Raven sends him a lazy salute and hops his way out, placing the important letter in his robe’s inner breast pocket. His heart blastia emits a small barrier shield of its own, using his life-force; this letter will remain pristine come rain, sleet, or snow, as long as he still lives.

“You’re up, Lima bean,” Raven chirps.

“You call me that again and I’ll break more than just your nuts,” Lima snarls, spits in his direction, and stomps off.

“And we used to have such fun together,” Raven laments. “What happened to us, O expert in nuts, Pecan, my man?”

“Careful, Raven,” the aforementioned Pecan murmurs. “Your jests are no longer in good taste.”

“Your fruit cocktail, on the other hand,” Raven says. “Mmhmm. Top notch, as always.”

Pecan gives him a wry smile. “I saw you buttering up Madam Teal and her girls, last night. They talk about Heliord?”

“Oh, you know me: promise me a free night of drinks and I’ll spill my guts,” Raven winks suggestively.

“Hmm…your costs run too high these days,” Pecan declines politely. “You’ll drink me out of business.”

Raven feels a mild pang of loss; he and the third-waiter-from-the-right Pecan used to be pretty tight. Schwann thinks it’s just how things go. Suck it up, buttercup.

“Next time I’m in town I’ll do you one free, fer old times’ sake,” Raven compromises. “Lemme know what info you want and I’ll get it for ya fer a Mabo Curry and a Don’s Special. Within reason, ‘course.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Black Bird,” Pecan murmurs. “But I’ll be waiting for you.”

Raven walks home with a heavy heart and on lighter feet. He makes a quick detour to the fish market, already bustling with a freshly caught haul; he haggles reliable ol' Fin for a kilogram of merflesh and charms Romelle out of a bottle of soy sauce and pays full price for a sack of white rice before finally making it back to Brave Vesperia’s HQ, just in time to catch Karol in the kitchen about to make morning coffee.

“Raven!” Karol’s smile is brilliant, and very welcome. “You’re back!”

“I promised you my world famous sashimi, didn’t I?” Raven says. “Can't have you saying this old man’s a liar!"

“I’d never,” Karol says honestly, and that, more than anything, is what makes Raven want to noogie Karol and maybe cry into his hair or something likewise unmanful. He settles for making that kid the most delicious dish of fish a Weekend Chef is capable of, and if he finds himself also making Karol his special Pork Stew to eat later, he tells himself it’s ‘cause the boy’s a growing man and not because Raven’s a sap at heart.

“So where ya off to now, Raven?” Karol asks, after they’re done eating and making the kitchen less of a mess. “If, um, you can tell me, that is.”

“Atherum,” Raven says honestly. “Flynn said his girl Sodia’d be there to collect whatever response Harry might have on the new moon, so, there I'll be.”

“The new moon?” Karol stares at him. “But that’s in no time at all!”

Raven gives him a wan smile. “Don’tcha worry, kiddo. I always get ta where I need to in time.”

“We should call Ba’ul,” Karol insists. “You’ll never make it otherwise!”

Raven doesn’t have the heart to tell Karol that it probably doesn’t matter how fast or slow his response arrives; in the end, it’s Harry actions from now on that will be his real response, regardless of what his letter says.

“Judith darlin’ probably has better things to do than be an old man’s cab,” Raven says lightly. “I’ll jes' hop on a merchant ship headed toward Atherum tonight; should make it just in time, if the weather stays fair. This time o’ year, the northern wind’s in our favour.”

“But what if merfish ambush you!” Karol protests. “Or if a storm’s brewing—“

“Tempest!” Raven sing-songs, flicking his hand. “Aw, man, I miss being able ta call up storms willy-nilly. That made me feel God-like, it did.”

Karol frowns at the interruption, but then his face turns thoughtful. “Can’t you still, though? Your blastia’s powered by your life-force, right? So your arts should still be working just fine.”

“Shavin’ a year or two off my life fer a light show is a bit too vapid, even by my standards,” Raven says sardonically. “Plus, I ain’t keen on folks realising blastia’s still useable if you use a human fer a battery.”

He can very easily see it happening in the future: folks trafficking humans for energy. Or, fuck, claiming prisoners of war for it—hell of a good reason to go to war, really, if it’s to dehumanize the ingredients you need to fuel your creature comforts. You justify your atrocities by framing it as necessary or even righteous; Alexei and Schwann used to do that all the time, no brainer. Honestly, this fear is one of the many reasons he’s made Rita promise not to share that part of Hermes’ research, despite the fact that human-powered blastia could solve a lot of the world’s present problems. Schwann’s too jaded to avoid thinking of all the ways it can go terribly wrong, and Raven’s too fucking tired of the parasite that is his heart to think of its more beneficial applications.

“People’ll find out eventually,” Karol insists, at once innocent and wise beyond his years. “Desperation breeds creativity, right? You should tell people about it so they know the risks involved, before someone invents it and says it’s a cure-all or something.”

“Ehhhhh,” Raven drawls. “I’ll think about it.”

He most definitely will not.

Karol drops it, thankfully, but then picks up the old tangent of, “I still say I should call Ba’ul for you. I’ve got the whistle and I was thinking of asking Judy to fly me over to Yumanju, anyway, since my next job’s over there. We could drop you off real quick, no worries.”

“The spa?” Raven perks up. The idea of running off to relax there after all this nonstop political bullshit is extremely appealing. “Really?”

“Really really,” Karol says, smiling knowingly. “So, you wanna come with?”

“Boy, do I,” Raven says excitedly. “Okay, kiddo, you’ve convinced this old man to defect to Brave Vesperia once again.”

“You never left, pops,” Karol says without hesitation, which warms the cockles of ol' Raven's heart. “C’mon, then, let’s head to the usual clearing. Ba’ul’ll show up within fifteen minutes after I call for him.”

“Wait wait wait! We should get Judy a gift first,” Raven insists. “The lady’s coming all the way over here for our sorry hides, we gotta say thanks proper-like!”

Karol blinks. “That’s a good idea! What d’you think she’d like?”

“I know just the thing,” Raven winks. “C’mon, kiddo, we got places to be!”

[prorevenge]

Shady boss lies about me to coworkers, I have her fired and in dept for several years after.

I have been lurking around here fore quite some time, and wishing I had a good story for you, until suddenly I realized I do! This happened back in 2011/12 when I was the ripe old age of 19 years old. This is a long one, so do strap in.

I got a part time job at a fast food place specializing in subs, not subway, but very similar, when I was 17. It was located in the towns mall, and was fairly busy. It’s a national chain where I’m from. When I started there the owner at the time was really nice, and she started that branch in my town. She was very strict on following all the cleaning requirements and took real pride in her shop. The way it was set up financially was that the franchise taker basically had to work from open to closing (9 am-7 pm) to even have a chance at making a decent living, and preferably only have one part timer helping for a few hours when it was at its busiest. It’s like the MLM of fast food. Why anyone would take on such a business wager is beyond me, but I digress. However, this owner actually managed to make money off it.

A year or so after I started, the owner decided she would move to a different part of the country and sell her branch and have someone else take over. That lucky individual was my co-worker who was three years older than me. (From now on Bosslady) She had worked there since it opened and was the natural choice to move up the ladder. Because she didn’t have the money to pay for the share in the franchise, about $5k, and nobody else was willing to pay that and have to work their ass off for minimal revenue, HQ allowed her to take over while they bought the old owner out, and HQ kept the share.

Now, Bosslady had no idea how to run a mile, much less a business, and small things started happening quite soon after she took over. I would normally work there after school, by myself, but she would often hang around the mall when she had finished work. Bosslady always complained about how little money she made, and would often come by when me or the other part timers were working and tell us to give her $20-100 right out of the register. Considering total daily sales never reached more than about $1200, that was a lot. I barely made $12/h, so my motivation was too low to care, and neither did the rest of the part timers, so we complied and gave her the money. My spider sense was tingling a bit, telling me it was fishy to grab money right out of the register, even if she was the owner, but if she wanted to dig her own grave that was fine by me.

I was friends with Bosslady and we would hang out and often hung out on the weekends, and we worked saturdays together. Which ment we would go out on Friday nights, get shit faced and work the next day hung over. Oh to be young. I would only go out during the weekends and never missed a day of work no matter how hung over I was, and saturdays were the only days I would be hung over. Besides school and work, I was in a dance company, and had dance classes everyday, mostly after 7pm, but a few days I had them earlier and couldn’t work no matter what. This is important.

Every night we would count the register, leave $100 dollars in change and small bills for the next day, and deposit the rest in a safe at the mall. I’m not entirely sure, because it’s been a long time, but I do believe Bosslady would tell us to take the difference out of the $100 for the register, somehow believing the money would magically show up the next day. After a while we started having problems with the distributers, we were not allowed to order on credit, and had to go to the bank to pay the bills in person etc. After that things started getting really weird, and Bosslady refused to let us make the cash deposits at night, insisting that we put the money bags in one of the cabinets inside the shop, which after a month or two culminated to a lot of cash. We had also had trouble a few months with getting paid on time. Since I worked the most out of all the part timers, I had the biggest salary, and the people who administered pay decided to pay the smaller checks first. This girl had bills to pay so that did not sit well with me. I was also the hardest worker out of all of us, Bosslady included.

Then one lovely Tuesday while I was at school, one of the other part timers asked me to cover her shift, to which I said I wasn’t able to because not only did I have back-to-back dance classes I also had a paper to write for school. Later that night I get a text from the girl saying “if you were hung over you could have just said so, you don’t have to lie..” and I’m like “excuse me? I don’t drink on school nights, and there’s no way I would have had the time to do so last night with dance class right after work and working on my paper” to which she just answered “yeah sure, Bosslady told me you were out last night”. The funny part is, this was a fairly small town, so there where nowhere to go on weeknights, so even if I wanted to break my own rules and party on a school night, I couldn’t. This really pissed me off, and figured I would stop playing nice and saving Bosslady’s ass.

Que the revenge: One day out of the blue, during summer, Bosslady declared she was going to go on a last minute, two week vacation to the states, and told me to take care of the shop while she was gone. I said fine, but would like more notice next time. I also asked her how she paid for it, considering she wasn’t able to take out any salary from the shop, and she just said “oh, I had some savings”. I just thought “Hmm, that’s weird considering you actually don’t make money”, but didn’t say anything.

The first day I was in charge HQ called, and the conversation went like this:

HQguy: “hey, is Bosslady around?”

Me: “No, she took a last minute vacation to the states and put me in charge, didn’t she tell you?”

HQguy: “No, she did not indulge that information. But maybe you can help me. Do you know what happened to all the cash deposits from the past few months?”

Me: “Yeah, they’re in one of the cabinets here. Bosslady told us not to deposit them, she even yelled at me when I was about to, because I felt really uncomfortable knowing we had what must have been more than $15k lying around in the shop, and gave me an excuse about having to look them over”

HQguy: “Are you serious?!”

Me: “Sure am. What should I do?”

HQguy: “I know the previous owner is in town, maybe you can call her and ask if she can come help you? She knows what’s what, and please deposit all the cash today!”

Me: “Sure, no problem. I will look over all the cash bags to see how much there actually is and make sure they’re all there and deposit them ASAP” and we hung up.

I called the old owner and told her what was up, and she sounded really surprised and was there within ten minutes. Together we quickly looked over all the cash, but didn’t count it. They where in these little pouches that had a form on the front where you filled in how many of each bill and coin was in it, so we figured the right amount would be in each bag. They weren’t sealed, because Bosslady had told us not to seal them before putting them in the cabinet. I then put them all in a bag and discretely made my way over to the safe where we deposited them. It was on the other side of the mall, and the mall was open so my heart was racing. I felt like everyone knew I was carrying a shitload of cash.

The old owner started asking me if we kept up with the cleaning requirements, and I answered truthfully that Bosslady never told us to do any of the time consuming stuff, like the ice-cube machine, saying that we would have to do that after closing and she didn’t have the money to pay us for the extra hours, so she said would do it on the weekends herself. Old owner just shrugged and told me she had to leave. Since I was all alone in the shop and it was fairly quiet, I started looking around for things to clean. This was around 4 pm. I quickly realized that she had never cleaned anything like she said she had. Under the fridges and workbenches there where LAYERS of dirt, the water tank in the ice cube machine was GREEN with algae, the cooling fans in the refrigerators where covered in mold. I started cleaning, but quickly realized this would require my full attention, so I closed the shop early. I called the old owner and she supported my decision and called the mall manager for me to let them know what was up.

I have never cleaned that much in my life. I scrubbed everything. I pulled all the refrigerators out and scrubbed thoroughly behind everything. What took the longest was the ice cube machine. I wasn’t done until 11 pm that night. Being the petty bitch I am, and being pissed Bosslady went on vacation with the shop in the state it was, I took pictures of everything before I started cleaning and sent them all to the food safety agency, telling them that nothing had been cleaned for over a year. I also got to clock all the hours I spent cleaning, getting an ok from HQguy. Looking back now and seeing how little I was paid, I would have just not cared, but at the time I was afraid people would get sick and die from eating the food.

The next day I called the old owner and all the part timers asking them to meet at my place saying we needed a staff meeting without Bosslady and now was the chance. They all came and we started talking, telling me what Bosslady had done when they were working together and other things they had observed her doing. I took notes, and later that night I wrote a seven(!!) page document listing all the things we knew she did wrong, and how we suspected she was stealing money from the shop etc., and I emailed it directly to HQguy. He emailed me back saying he would look into it.

HQguy called me a few days later thanking me for notifying him about all the things she was doing, and told me that when the cash was registered the amount listed on the form and the amount in the pouches wasn’t the same, and asked me if I knew where it had gone. A light went off, and I realized the “savings” Bosslady had used to pay for her trip was actually money she had taken from the pouches, and that’s why she wouldn’t let us seal them. I told him as much and he said he would dig a little.

When Bosslady came back from vacation, she seemed very stressed. I acted like nothing had happened when she was gone, but chuckled when she opened the cash cabinet and saw that all the money was gone, and her face turned so white she was almost see through, but she said nothing. She was in the back most of the day on her phone and came out asking me if I could cover for her the next few days as she had to go to HQ for a last minute meeting (HQ was 8 hours away). I agreed and went home.

Over the next few days I was seething with excitement to find out what happened. When she came back she tried to play it cool and said “I’ve decided to quit. I feel like doing something different, so I’m just working until the end of the month, and then I’m leaving”, and I just acted sorry and oblivious. I knew the old owner was kept in the loop by HQ, and she told me what really happened.

Bosslady had met with HQ who had questioned her about the missing money and lack of cleaning etc. (there was more, but this is already longer than the Bible). She had denied it all at first, trying to pin it on of us, and saying she had suspected someone was stealing the money and that’s why she didn’t deposit it etc, but eventually broke down and admitted it all. She was then given the option of quitting and paying them back all the missing money in installments or having charges pressed against her. She obviously chose the former. Personally I would have pressed charges no matter what, but they wanted to help her out because I guess they understood she was in a bit of a tough situation with not making any money on the shop, and also didn’t want it blow up in the media.

I kept working there for a few more months, but quit because i found a job that paid more. Word spread about what Bosslady had done, so she really struggled to find a new job to pay what she owed, since no one trusted her. She eventually did, but had to pay them back for several years later. We did not keep in touch.

Guess she shouldn’t have lied about me to my coworkers.

And I’m all out of breath

TL;DR: shady boss lies to my coworkers about me being too hungover to cover their shifts, I tell HQ about all the shady stuff she’s doing and she loses her job and has to pay them back the money she stole for several years, and lost her good reputation.

(source) story by (/u/Dachshundsandwhisky)

[dreamescapeswriting]

Forget Me Not ~ YJG [Request]

➵➵➵Word count: 2,500

➵➵➵Genre: ermmm thriller??? mystery??? FLUFF

➵➵➵Pairing: Yang Jeongin x reader

➵➵➵A/N: This is my first time writing something with this kind of genre, I hope I did it justice enough for you as I was unsure of how to make it work. I hope it's okay though if not feel free to message me and I will rewrite the entire thing or write you something new. Love You.

The music you produced was like angels singing to Jeongin he adored everything you ever released and spent most of his free time listening to your music or looking up information on your fandom. The Stray Kids vacation was coming up and so was one of your concerts so he was planning on going to watch you live but as he delved deeper into your life and the fandom that surrounded it things started to feel weird. He noticed that the fans, named H.E.A.R.T.S after your stage name H.E.A.R.T seemed to be a little bit off, there was something there that didn't seem quite right. Normally fans were there to support the artist in everything you did but yours seemed to want to stop you from growing, making sure your music stopped at certain limits, stopping certain people from seeing interviews or photographs, everything was under lock and key with you and the company you worked for. Your real name was always hidden from the media and no one saw you unless the company allowed it, you weren't spotted out by paparazzi ever, and you were never seen except for live performances and interviews.

"What are you doing?" Chan asked when he walked in on the youngest member going through something on his laptop, I.N was trying to figure out more information on you but every website he seemed to go onto was blocked without proper passwords or hacking being needed. 

"Ah, you're looking for H.E.A.R.T?" Jeongin looked up at the leader nodded and looked back down to the laptop, it was so weird that things around you were the way they were and he wanted to figure out why. 

"No one knows the passwords unless they've been given them," Chan stated taking the laptop away and shutting it, 

"No one knows who she is though...What's her name? Her age? Where does she come from?!" Jeongin was really interested in finding out everything and anything he could about you, and maybe that was the point in your fandom being so secretive, so that it would drawer more and more people into the investigation that was your life but all he knew was he wanted to know more.

Jeongin had tracked down the company you worked for using JYP's accounts thinking it would work better than a normal email, another company looking to collab with H.E.A.R.T is what he was posing as. Trying to discover anything he could, 

Dear Mr J.Y. Park, 

We would be delighted to let your singing Mr Yang Jeongin work with our artist H.E.A.R.T as we believe it would be a fantastic opportunity for them both to widen their fanbase however, H.E.A.R.T. is under a very strict time-consuming contract and we would have to have them record things separately, only meeting for one performance. We will arrange a conference call between H.E.A.R.T and Jeongin when the time is right for you, please let us know ASAP what your thoughts on this will be. What kind of song he will want to produce and we will get back to you. 

Yours, 

Sync Industries

Seoul, South Korea 

That was a start, at least now he knew you were located in Seoul somewhere and he could work from there, he felt like one of the detectives he'd always seen on the TV or in mangas. He began replying the email and then going on to do his best to figure out more about you now he knew where you were and the company name that represented you. 

He paced back and forth in the hallway of the apartment building he was standing in, he'd managed to find out where your family were living, your last name and he'd been fighting to go and see them for the last three days debating with himself if he would seem like a crazy stalker but there was nothing crazy compared to your fandom. He needed answers and he needed them now. He didn't tell anyone where he was going or what he was doing, he knew Chan would disapprove of this whole thing but he had to know what was going on. Taking a deep breath he walked up to the door and knocked on it, waiting patiently until a small elderly lady came to the door and looked at him, 

"Hello," She greeted and he smiled at her, greeting her back. 

"Hello, I just came to see if your granddaughter was home?" She ushered him into the house with a sad smile on her face, she sat him on a sofa and went to make tea without saying another word to him and he wondered if he'd gotten the right address.

"Miss Y/l/n?" She looked up at him as she brought a tray of tea into the room pouring him a cup and sitting opposite him on the other sofa.

"You mean our young Y/n? Y/l/n?" That name, he remembered that name as if he knew it but he'd never even heard of you until your music, and he didn't remember you from anything else except that. 

"Yes, Y/n." He said your name as if he was trying to memorise it and she sighed getting up from the sofa and going over to a photo album, she brought it back to him and showed him photos of you dating back from your birth until recent ones, but the more he flicked through the more he noticed that you were fading in recent photographs, 

"She's fading away." He frowned not understanding what she was trying to tell him, then she pulled out a small box with notes inside. 

Don't forget me x Was written in red ink on a piece of screw up paper, more notes with the same words scribbled across them were in the box, some with drawings on and other just plain pieces of paper. Jeongin felt his heart lunge whenever he saw the handwriting on the paper, his heart was racing whenever he turned over another note seeing the same message over and over again getting more and more distressed with each note.

"Will you put those old things away!" Another voice called out, Jeongin looked up from the book to see a woman the spitting image of you only a little older walking into the apartment carrying bags, he rushed up to help her and she thanked him. 

"Is she showing you those? She always does this, we didn't have a daughter!" She yelled at the old lady who grumbled something and started packing everything away into boxes yet again.

"She likes to tell people we had a daughter, but I didn't. I can't have children you see," He carried the bags through to the kitchen for the women he thought was your mum but was unsure now she was telling him she'd never had a child before.

"I hope she didn't bore you too much." He laughed it off and collected his things to leave again, he was almost out of the building when the elderly woman came down the stairs clutching in her hands. 

"Jeongin!" She called out which shocked him because he hadn't told her his name, she pushed something into his hands and walked back into the building. He waited until he was in the car to see what she'd given him, in his hand was a photo of himself standing next to you but you were fading quickly in the photo. Written across the back was 

Jeongin remember me 

He took the photo back to the dorms and studied it, trying to remember you. There was something in the back of his mind that he couldn't access through, as if something was blocking him from getting to the memory.

After explaining everything to Chan, Han and Changbin in explicit detail and showing them the photo they agreed to help him get to the bottom of everything that was surrounding you and H.E.A.R.T promising the youngest they would figure it out together which lead to them standing in the middle of Sync's building disguised as janitors.

"We don't even know where she is?! Is this going to work?" Changbin asked as they pushed a cart around the neverending building,

"We don't even know if she's in the building," Han added earning glares from both Jeongin and Chan as they got into another elevator. 

"I'll take the top floor, Chanbin will take the lower levels, Han the middle and I.N. can take all the others." They agreed and spread out going to find you. It was midnight so the place was empty except for cleaners and a few guards that were roaming around the halls. 

I.N was about to take out his phone and call Han defeated when he heard singing coming from a room, he put his phone down and walked down the hall in the direction of the studio door. He knocked but the singing stopped and the room fell into a dead silence. 

"Y/n?" Your headshot up as someone said your name instead of your stage name and you felt your heart begin to pick up at the mere thought of someone knowing you were there. 

"Hello!?" You yelled out banging on the table for them to open the door, it was never locked because no one ever bothered to come and see you anymore. The door opened slowly and stood there was your childhood friend Jeongin. 

"I.N!" He jumped back a little as he took in your appearance, you were chained up to a desk by your ankle, you were wearing nothing but an old looking hoodie and some leggings. 

"Y/n?!" He rushed over to you pulling at the chain to try and see how tight it was but you whimpered as he did so. You'd been trying to get out of them for years it was no use without the keys. 

"How did you find me?!" You whispered looking at him and he stared at you, as soon as you stared into his eyes you felt your heart drop. 

"You don't remember me do you?" You felt your heart shatter once he shook his head no at you, 

"But I'm starting to remember small things, how long have you been here?" You looked at the calendar on your wall and then at him, 

"Three years." You whispered knowing there was no way out of here,

"You need to leave before my manager comes and finds you," You whispered looking at him and then over at the door standing there were three boys you'd never seen before. 

"We're your rescue team." One of them said in a thick Australian accent holding up a pair of bolt cutters, 

"How did you know we'd need those?" The shortest one asked looking at the one with the Australian accent, 

"I just assumed we'd need lots of stuff," He opened a bag to reveal a bunch of spy-like equipment, he walked over to you with the bolt cutters and looked at the chain around your ankle. 

"Is it attached to anything? Like an alarm?" You shrugged your shoulders, you had no idea what it was attached you. All you knew was there was no way out of them without a key or in this case bolt cutters, 

"Changbin, car. Go." Chan said throwing him the keys, 

"Text me when it's out front," Jeongin ordered and Changbin ran off down the hall leaving the other one there, 

"I'm Han by the way and he's Chan...The leader of your breakout crew."

A giant alarm went off throughout the building as soon as the chain was broken and you were sprinting down a flight of stairs holding Jeongin's hand as you headed for the main exit of the building,

"Faster!" Han yelled pulling you all in the direction of the doors, a shutter was starting to come down but you were out just in time and into the car, Changbin sped off down the high way in the direction of the JYP Building hoping you weren't being followed by whoever it was that had taken you in the first place. 

Over the next few weeks, you'd explained in detail what happened to you. How you signed a simple contract without reading the small print and piece by piece your life was being taken away from you until the point that not even your mum remembered who you were,

"I still don't understand how I couldn't remember you," I.N said as he stared at the photography which was fully restored to you both sitting in front of a bonfire with smiles on your face, 

"We were close." You whispered looking at the photo and then back up at Jeongin who looked pained that he'd forgotten you, you'd told him a million times that week it was fine and that you were fine now but it still didn't seem to settle his mind about it. 

"Jeongin, everyone forgot not just you." You nudged him as you sat on the balcony of his dorm together, he stared at you as you looked out at the view of Seoul. You'd wanted to sit outside all day every day for as long as you could, it had been so long since you'd had fresh air. There was an investigation going down with the police looking into the contract between you and Sync but there were still things that weren't adding up for you,

"It was like a signed my soul away." You mumbled looking at the photograph. Jeongin had gone into extreme detail about the way it looked before, you were hardly there just an outline of your body and facial features. 

"Whatever it was, you're safe now." His hands linked with yours and you stared down at them with a small smile across your face. 

"Thanks to you." You whispered leaning across and giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

"I have no idea how I can ever thank you enough, but I'll do my best every day to remind you just how thankful I am." Your hands stayed locked together, it just felt right for the both of you to stay just like that right there, together with no other distractions except for the sound of traffic and people in the middle of Seoul you could have stayed there your whole life if time would let you. 

"I promise to never let anything happen to you again." He whispered to you, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles and then bringing your hand up to his face to kiss it gently. 

"I promise." He repeated before looking up at you, you stared back at him before he slowly leaned up to your face and pressed his lips against yours. Pulling away a couple of seconds later to check you were okay, when you kissed him back he was relieved he hadn't just creeped you out to the point where you didn't want to be around him anymore and that you wanted to kiss him again instead of pushing him away for good.

tagline: 

@yoongisdumplingcheeks​ @snowy-meowl​ @jooniesdarlingdimples​

[gumnut-logic]

Minerva (Bit 1)

Okay, this fic is an attempt to get my mojo back. Every time I go on holiday it gets sideswiped. Being sick definitely did not help, though admittedly coughing all night last night may have made me my usual sleep deprived self, so who knows, it might have helped :D

But anyway, This fic is Kermadec because I needed a boat :D It also required a little research - Minerva Reef is a pair of actual atolls not far from Tracy Island. I’m not sure of the distance so I fluffed it.

Andre and Cecil are a pair of private nurses first mentioned in Gentle Rain. I like to recycle my OCs but I haven’t read that story in ages. Here’s hoping I’ve kept them true to form. They haven’t been sketched out in this much detail before, in any case.

There is fluff. I broke Virg again, oops, but there is resultant fluff. I’m sick, I can’t help myself. 

Many thanks to @scribbles97​ and @vegetacide​ for the read throughs and support. I haven’t forgotten about The Tattoo, I just needed a little self indulgence first.

This bit is mainly set up and I hope to write more asap. 1726 words.

I hope you enjoy it.

-o-o-o-

Two broken legs.

If there was anything worse than a broken limb, it was more than one and two broken legs was the worst.

Or two broken arms. He wasn’t sure as he hadn’t managed to break two arms as yet. But two broken legs definitely sucked.

Of course, it was worth it. Saving children was always worth it. But weeks of confinement, of being unable to do anything for himself, was about to send him around the bend, out the window and into the Pacific.

His brothers did their best and both Andre and Cecil, the family nursing staff - yes, they had enough injuries on enough of a regular basis to have nursing staff on their payroll -  had been called in on this one to cart him back and forth across the house, see to his necessaries, and pretty much do his bidding.

Which was fine, since he and Andre got on like a house on fire. The man spoke both paint and piano almost as much as Virgil and there had been fun times, despite his infirmities.

Cecil was a Gordon clone and those two got up to much more mischief than was really acceptable for an employee. But since Gordon usually took all the credit, even the time Scott had his eyebrows shaved, they got away with hell.

Besides, Scott’s eyebrows had been partly burnt off already and had looked stupid, so shaving them both off was an improvement that had to be done. How Gordon had managed it, Virgil didn’t have a clue...and also didn’t want to think too hard about it because it gave his rapscallion little brother powers that he really shouldn’t have.

Cecil played it straight and the Tracys put up with it. Because despite Cecil’s idiosyncrasies, the two nurses were very, very good at their jobs.

That and they came as a pair because Andre and Cecil were married.

So, other than expanding Gordon’s power of pranking, things were good. Well, as good as they could be while he had two broken legs. 

But there were days.

God, were there days.

Days, so many days, and today was one of them.

Scott had been called out early in the morning and consequently everyone was up. Alan was called next and he and Kayo were out dealing with yet another space freighter collision. Scott was going to kick some space agency ass about updating some space etiquette rules in the near future to stop this stupidity from happening, and considering how much profanity was bouncing down from orbit, both John and Alan would be there to back him up.

So three brothers were out, leaving Virgil imprisoned with Gordon, Andre, Cecil and Grandma. This combination wouldn’t normally be an issue, but Grandma was cooking up a storm and Virgil was trapped.

Gordon may be a pain at times, but he saw the hazard coming and he was a good brother at heart. So, with some assistance from Andre and Cecil, the Fish deployed his yacht, A Little Lightning, and suddenly the day seemed so much brighter.

Virgil was ensconced in pillows and the best of comfort on the back deck and had the privilege of watching Mateo pass on their starboard side as Gordon guided the yacht out into the open ocean.

Why he seemed to always be injured when aboard this boat, he had no idea, but Gordon was a life saver.

Virgil had no idea where his brother might be taking him and he didn’t really care. He just lay back and enjoyed a beautiful day, the breeze, the many sounds of water and the gentle bounce of the boat.

At some point he dozed off.

It had to be a sign of how much healing his body needed, but somehow he managed to sleep the entire trip, because it was the sudden change in the engine noise that woke him.

Andre was smiling at him in that soft caring way he had about him. Dark hair, blue eyes and a soft smile, the nurse was somewhat reminiscent of his big brother, but without the fire and the drive. The man was quiet and reassuring, exactly what was needed when ill or injured.

“It looks like you needed that.”

Virgil grunted, never a fan of waking up. 

But Andre knew this and had exactly what the injured engineer needed - a mug of steaming coffee.

Virgil forced the last few steps to full consciousness, and, pushing himself up, made a grab for the mug.

The mug moved away. “Uh-uh, stretch first.”

Shit.

It was a thing Andre made him do every time he woke. Before coffee, he had to stretch abused muscles that were forced to sleep in awkward positions due to his legs.

Virgil mumbled and grumbled, but did as he was bid. He knew how important the exercises were, but the lure of coffee was just cruel. He vaguely noted the yacht’s engine dropping to a slow cruise and the open ocean having just that touch more sway, rolling the yacht in the swell.

“Where are we?”

“Cecil says we’re visiting Minerva.”

“Oh.” Virgil blinked. He’d flown over the Minerva Reefs many, many times. They were a navigation marker not that far from Tracy Island. Though they were far enough away for him to have been asleep for some time. “How long was I out?”

That smile again. “Several hours. Did you good.” The nurse had placed the coffee on a side table and was helping Virgil sit up straight enough to consume the taunting liquid from heaven.

A breathless moment and the mug was in his hands and coffee was pouring down his throat. God, Andre made great coffee. Yet another reason to put up with his husband.

He surfaced at some point and managed a thank you that set the nurse grinning just as a coral reef started to drift past.

Virgil didn’t know much about the Minerva Reefs other than Melissa Fisher on Raoul swore about them..alot.

They were on the very edge of the Kermadec Ocean Sanctuary and she had wanted to add them to the exclusion zone for a very long time. But the reefs were owned by Tonga or Fiji, depending on which country you spoke to and the environment continued to suffer from it.

He vaguely remembered Gordon saying something about visiting the reefs in Four on several occasions and Virgil had no doubt that he and Melissa were likely doing some kind of sneaky ecological monitoring or some such. After all, the reefs were rather close to Tracy Island and Gordon rather passionate about such things.

As A Little Lightning cruised between two reef headlands, Virgil surmised they were at the northern of the two atolls.

As Virgil guzzled the last of his coffee, the yacht came to a complete halt in the lee of one of the headlands - if you could call it that, the reef barely made it above the water line. He heard the sea anchor deployed and there was suddenly silence except for the crashing of waves against coral and sand and the breeze.

Virgil closed his eyes and soaked it in.

The empty mug was tugged gently from his hand and he vaguely registered a plate being placed on the table beside him. “Cecil made pie.”

That snapped him out of it. “Pie?” The prankster could cook and he was suddenly assaulted with a delicious aroma.

“Steak and bacon, topped with mashed potato and cheese.” The plate had a generous serving along with salad piled up beside it. Andre was grinning at his expression. “He’s mine, you can’t have him.”

Virgil had to grin. “Well, at least I know one of the reasons why you nabbed him.”

Andre’s grin softened, but it was still a grin. “In the top five.” A hand landed on Virgil’s shoulder. “Eat up, you’ll need it for this afternoon’s workout.”

That deflated him a little.

The nurse noted what must have been in his expression. “Okay, perhaps it can be a brief session today.” A shrug. “After all, an atoll is hardly a swimming pool.”

“Virg trying to con you out of rehab?” Gordon bounced onto the deck, a grin on his face and that look of absolute relaxation the man got whenever he was out on the water.

“‘S not rehab.” So Virgil was pouting and acting like a child. “It’s maintenance.” Of what still worked, until the casts came off and then the hell would really start.

“Don’t let those baby browns lure you from the path of righteousness, Andre.”

“What? Like you attempted last time?” The nurse was grinning at the aquanaut.

That brought Gordon up short.

“I have to say that your eyes are a lighter brown, not quite the same colour, but the manoeuvring is almost identical.”

“What?” It was a two Tracy chorus shot at Andre with two brows, one dark, one light, shooting daggers at the nurse.

Andre just laughed and turned back to Virgil. “You going to eat your pie?”

The nurse’s blue eyes did some manoeuvring of their own and Virgil found himself snatching up the plate and hovering over it to protect his slice of pie.

Cecil chose that moment to appear. As usual, there was never a laugh far behind him as he was wearing a bright pink chef’s cap canted at an angle. But it was the two plates of pie in his hands that drew the attention of the other two men on deck.

Gordon didn’t hesitate, grabbing his plate and shovelling pie down his throat with barely a thank you. Virgil growled in his direction.

“What? It’s good pie. Cecil knows I appreciate him, don’t you, Cecil?”

But the cook was accepting a gentle kiss from his husband as the man took his plate, his other hand drifting from Cecil’s shoulder, down to the small of his back in a gesture simple but intimate enough for Virgil to turn away to give them privacy.

His eyes landed on Gordon, who’s face had an odd expression as he looked back at Virgil, as if he knew something that Virgil didn’t.

Virgil glared at him.

It, no doubt, had something to do with Kay. He would slap his little bro about the head later.

In the meantime...”So, what are we doing here?”

-o-o-o-

Bit 2

[huh-i-guess]

Now You Need Me

Erik Killmonger X Black!Reader

Warnings: Angst(?) 

Word Count: 1,854 

This is the first fic I have ever written and I have no clue if this is good or not, ngl. I am super nervous about posting this, I’ve read so much fanfic and been too scared to write but today I just said F it! The gif is not mine!

“Bye girl!”

“Bye Leigh! Thanks for the party, tell Marvin if he tries some shit imma beat his ass when I see him next!” I shout at one of my homegirls who has been fucking around with this high key chill but hella ignorant POS.

“Take yo fine ass to bed sis, GOODNIGHT!” She scoffs as she speeds off in her whip. I chuckle as I make my way into my shared apartment with one of my besties from college, Cameron. I have known her for the past 10 years and she truly has been a ride or die who makes sure that we both have our heads screwed on straight. As I make my way up into the apartment I notice that the lights are all off, which isn't unusual because it is about 2:30 and she heads off to bed hella early, always talking bout how she “got work in the morning”. She gets her ass up at 8:00 every morning… weekends included, I don’t know how somebody would willingly wake up that early on weekend but Cami does. I cut on the light over the kitchen and notice a note on the counter that just tells me that I’m on dish duty next week and that there is also a surprise in my room. I swear if I walk in that room and there is some random shit in it, Imma wake her up and keep her up till the sun say what’s poppin’. I trot into my room carrying my shoes and drop them by the side of my dresser, when they make contact with the floor the light abruptly turns on. I grab tightly on my clutch and get ready to swing.

“Damn Ma, chill, its just lil’ ole me”

“ERIK!” I scoff and sigh. Deciding to proceed with my nightly routine. “Was this the “Surprise” Cami had in store for me? You?” I state with a displeased voice.

“Yeah, you miss me? I ain’t gon lie… I’ve missed you” Erik said shamelessly. I have not seen this man in 3 and a half years. Not one text, nor call, nor note, nor flower, no nada.

“What the hell do you want? And why did Cami let you in?” I ask dismissively as  I put my purse on the hook and don’t even bother looking his way.

“That’s how we really gotta be, huh? You really ain’t happy to see me?” the nerve and balls this man has…“Erik, I’m not one of your little side pieces who drops her panties at the sight of you and begs to be at your knees. You know that. Now, Imma ask you one last time, What. Do. You. Want.” I am not in the mood for his shit especially after what he did to me and how he up and left me.

“You used to be one of them but,” he shrugs his shoulders.

“ERIK-” I shout as I whip around to face him. 

“Alright damn, you need to get laid,” he stated, and truthfully, he was not wrong, it’s been three years since anyone has made me feel the way that that man has but he does NOT need to know that. “I ain’t here to push your buttons and pipe in on your sex life, unless you want me to,” he winks and I grimace, “but I need your help with something, and before you try to bus a cap in me, I’ll let you know how much you’ll get paid.” He really must have lost his mind to think that after leaving me in the middle of the night, a day after one of our missions, in the middle of a foreign ass country, with no way to contact him, or his crew, that I would ever want to work with him again. Especially now with me being out of the game and trying to lead a semi-normal life. How did he even find me? I've taken myself off of the all government watchlists and made sure that I am always aware of anything relating to me and that I clear it asap. Actually, he’s Erik fucking Killmonger, nevermind.

“Do you want to explain to me why the hell I would want to work with you again, and possibly put myself back on the radar? I’ve spent so much time tryna clear my name from doing shit with you and now that I’m finally free of your ass, you prance your fine evil ass back into my life. You left me there Erik. YOU” I poke him in the chest for emphasis,  “LEFT me there, you didn’t leave a note, you didn’t call. You didn’t text. And you know what the worst part was? You let me take part of the fall for your shit. I had to bargain with the United States government to get my freedom back you piece of shit. They made me hack and cover up a bunch of shit for almost 2 years and you know I hate our government. THEN, S.H.I.E.L.D. made me do a helluva lot more tedious and time consuming shit, and they kept me as a prisoner for half a year. And you think that you get to waltz into my home after 3 years,  bat your eyelashes, lick your juicy ass lips and then ask me to go down for you again? You must have lost your goddamn mind. Truly!” I whisper scream at him hoping Cami stays asleep down the hall. I cannot believe this nigga.

“I didn’t even say what it was I needed your help with but you clearly stay  jumpin’ to conclusions, just like before. If you’d like to let me get a word in lil’ miss thing, I will” Erik stated. I really missed him but I should not miss a man who got me locked up in a superhero jail cell.

“Speak then, Killmonger.” I pushed. “Damn, aright, Imma tell you the price first. Its royalty. That is the price, I’ll make you royalty.”

Is he-Is he serious? What happened to him in those three years, I know I went to fuzzy, upscale, white people jail, and what the fuck did he do? Lose his mind, that’s what he did.

“Nigga, what kind of weed have you been smoking? Royalty. This ain’t Coming to America. We live in America and we don’t have royals. We have a fat, mentaly unstable, racist, orange thing  in the office right now. Where have you been for the past 3 years?” I exclaim.

“Look, bae, I know what the fuck is in office right now and I know that we are in the United States but, last I checked and according to Maps of the world, the U.S. ain’t it. Damn, Americans really do think they are the only ones on the planet. There is an East African country called Wakanda. You know it?” He questioned.

“Yeah, fool, I’m not dumb. And not all Americans think like that. You should know that soldier.”

“Well, Wakanda is seen as a third world country with major poverty and a major lack of developments, and Imma tell you, that shit ain’t true.” He shrugged.

“I’m sorry but what would you know?” I deadpanned.

“I’m from Wakanda, Ma.” He disclosed matter-of-factly.

“Ummmm, I must have missed something Oakland boy. You’re tryna tell me that you are NOT from Oakland, California? That makes little to no sense. But if you are from Wakanda, then how did you go into the Navy SEALS?” I question in disbelief.

“I was born in the states, baby girl. Pops was Wakandan. I’ve been telling you I was foreign.” He teased and pulled down his lower lip showing off an interesting blue tattoo.

“I’m supposed to believe you after all of the shit that you’ve done? I’m supposed to forgive you? Actually, pause, why would I even forgive you? You haven’t even apologized. You’re always so damn cocksure and I know you're not gonna apologize because the words, “I’m sorry” are not in your vocabulary. Knowing yo ass you probably thought I forgot because you think I’m mesmerized by yo “glorious” looks.” I pressed.

“You are really going in on me. I must have really hurt you. You want a kiss to make it better or do you want to kiss and make up?” He baited. I am at a loss for words.

“You, Erik “Killmonger” Stevens, disgust me. The fact that I was in love with yo cocky, unfiltered, disrespectful, heartless, ruthless, and twisted self, really makes me realize just how much I needed to grow. I told myself I would NEVER EVER take the blame and bit the bullet for a nigga. And guess what? That is exactly what I did. I lost myself and my dream tryna beg for your love and your attention and look where it got me. ON a GOVERNMENT watchlist, in prison and tired. Look I’m not Cookie from Empire, I’m not gonna take you back after taking the fall for your ass, so you can take that “royalty” shit and shove it up your ass because I am not gonna ruin my life any further for you. Cami let me make some mistakes and they were some really bad ones but I never told her about how I fell for you. She just thinks that you're some ex who wants me back and was good for me that I pushed you away because that’s what I do, welp, no. Not this time.” I voiced painfully not even feeling the tears falling from my eyes. I looked as Erik just stood there showing no type of emotion. No pain, no regret, no smugness, just looking like he was trying to find an emotion to react but he couldn’t find one. “Do you feel nothing Erik? You so damn, UGH!” I can’t even bring myself to finish my sentence as I collapse onto my bed. I feel an added weight on my bed and feel arms wrap around me.

“I’m so so sorry, baby girl. I know that what I did was wrong and I’ve watched for so long trying to figure out how to make this right and I can’t. I can’t think of a way to be there for you and I know it is hard especially since I’m the one who got you into this situation but that is exactly why I want you to come be my queen and rule Wakanda with me. To make this right, we can make our own laws, be our own government, have power, money and whatever you want. I’ve been gone a long time and I should have been there for you. I’m sorry, baby. Do you forgive me?” He admitted while he kissed my forehead. I am in complete disbelief. Erik Stevens just apologized, and did he propose or was I hallucinating? No, wait a minute I refuse to fall in love with this sweet talking piece of shit who got me sent to jail.

“What if I say no, Erik?”

~~~~~This is so bad. I’m so sorry~~~~~

It is ALSO 3:36AM, Imma sleep. 4/25/2020

[immopengu]

a review of my writing last year

I'm just looking at stuff I attempted to write last year when I wasn't feeling all that good.

Honestly looking through last year's work, I was surprised at all the mistakes I made, grammatically and just logically. Things were all over the place. I was in a horrible head space and I'm still trying to come back from it. I remember how much of a struggle it was to write. I just wanted to sleep and I would dread the start of every workday.

So what I'm saying is that your mental health is really important and I know getting that paycheque is important cuz we gotta eat to live. But if you're stuck with really fucking toxic people, you gotta get the fuck out ASAP. You find a chance? Get the fuck out. It pays less? Go. Just go, because that extra cash isn't worth dealing with that psychological hit. It really really isn't.

Like I'm still trying to get out of that writing rut, and I'm writing a bit again but I'm looking at all these dead chapters and stories I have sitting there and I'm so angry that I had to fight this fucking MONSTER of a supervisor for so long, that it consumed all my energy that I couldn't even write and give people stories anymore. The workplace was toxic as fuck and having a high turnover rate in that one role, or any role where they had to support this one supervisor didn't seem to clue in the big boss that there was a huge fucking problem with this department.

The crying employees in the staircase, the paranoia, the distrust of everybody within the department, the lack of friendship between employees, the lack of trust, the lack of any HAPPINESS in the workplace should've clued in the people at the top that there were horrible problems within the department.

I gave a year of my fucking life to this shitty place because I was stubborn and wanted to fucking just DO MY JOB. And I did. And should I be proud of that? I dunno. I wish I had gotten out sooner. I'm in a much much MUCH better place now. But that kinda mental toll on you is really not worth it.

If anybody out there is in an abusive work environment, just get out. I know you're thinking "It'll get better", "this is giving up", "I'm a failure" or "I'm not gonna be forced out" or any other excuse to stay. Just go. That's time you can't get back and it's all this time they used to beat you down. Like yes you can go to war, but war takes a toll on you.

I know I'm strong. I know I can do it. I was happy to fucking push back because I wasn't going to let this monster think nobody would call her out on her shit. But it didn't mean that the fight didn't take a lot out of me.

And I recognize some people just can't go. I know. Money. We need it to survive. But do it first chance you get. Don't stick it out like me to prove something. Don't give people that don't deserve your time, that time.

[myonmukyuu]

hot milk tea, thoughts and feelings

I’ve only mentioned it briefly, but I’ve said that I’ll be taking a break from my SetsuAyu series - mainly because of my uni workload though.

But for now, I have a lot of thoughts about the entire thing as a project as well as myself as an artist. So I figured that I’d write a reflection of sorts (warning: it gets kind of personal).

Can you believe it’s been 3-4 months since the series started? I can’t, and I’ve been the one drawing all of these!! If you’ve been reading my work, I’ll say it over and over but I really appreciate it!!! Like I’m dead serious!!! Completely!! Utterly!! Without a doubt!!! I love all of you!!!

When I posted that first comic, I didn’t think it’d get the positive reception that it did get. Like, I’ve been producing basically entirely Muse content for years and suddenly decided to tap into Nijigaku? You could argue that it didn’t get that much attention, but either way, the attention it did get surprised me. I was so happy that people were engaged (and it still makes me stupidly happy, like on a level where I’m almost embarrassed to admit HAHA)

Recently I’ve just uploaded the bonus for the 3rd update which wraps up that part, and it really just clicked - that I really have invested soooo much time into this series. 36 pages now! And we’re only 3/10 main updates in!! I have so much passion for this - like a fire that can’t be put out. Every single update has something that I want to communicate/show so I always feel fired up. Heck, if you’ve spoken to me during the process you’d catch me always saying “I’m excited for the next one!!!” while working on it LMAO. It’s been my longest string of non-stop work. Usually I feel burned out more quickly but I was always so excited that I couldn’t stop! You’d find that I’m usually in a  state of conflict bc I alwaaaays want to talk about it but at the same time I don’t want to spoil anything. (THE NEXT UPDATE JUICY)

I think it’s a clear reminder of why I draw actually. The answer between each artist always differs, but I think it’s something important to be aware of. And well, for me? I’ve realised I’m a passion-monster. Passion keeps my blood pumping 100%. As a result... you could say I might be a more selfish kind of artist. Maybe it’s burn-out from running all those ask-blogs/RP when I was like 13-16, but I’ve realised that I’m having the most fun drawing what I genuinely love. It’s kind of why you’d rarely see me do requests and why I no longer do commissions. That isn’t to say that I hate drawing for other people. It can be fulfilling! But it’s more like - I barely have the time to draw for myself, so drawing for others is kind of a lower priority in general. It’s also why I’ve decided against studying graphic design when I graduated highschool. It’s just not happening as a career.

When I ask myself, “what kind of artist do I want to be?” I always think “Somebody who marches to her own beat and works hard to make content that she loves.” It’s also why I never delete anything - even my oldest art that makes me cringe. Because the me from 5 years ago put her love into that too. It’s really cheesy sounding but that’s how I see it LMFAO. I couldn’t do that to her. And also, just because I don’t like something anymore, it doesn’t mean that no one else does. So I’ll continue to never delete my old work. As a bonus, we get to see how far I’ve come too~.

I feel a little vulnerable admitting something like this and I’m pretty sure I’ve only told like 4 humans, but I think my #1 goal as an artist is that I want people to be able to look at my work (that I actually put my heart into) and think “this person loves this” or “this person works hard”. If you can do that, and sincerely feel the feelings I put into my comic, then I’ve already reached my goal. Can people tell how much I love these characters? The series? The concept? Can people tell how much work I’ve been putting into these updates? Can people tell when I’m having fun? It’s something I think about a lot. The idea of that people might think so makes me tear up HAHA - I get really sappy thinking about these kinds of things. And well, if people can’t tell then I’m not working hard enough!

That isn’t to say that I’m always putting my life-blood into everything I make. I’m mainly referring to the stuff where I do. I think it’s pretty clear when I’m pumping a lot of love into something. In general though, there’s always an intention for me to like communicate some idea or feeling and doing something like that requires maybe a bit of love~.

I feel like that as a character, Setsuna really resonates with me a lot. In personality? Not at all LMFAOOOO (she’s such a nice girl!!). More because of her ideals and principles. After typing like everything that I did up until this point, I bet you can guess why. I’ll keep it short and simple though, since this post is getting stupidly long.

Basically, I really resonate with her drive and passion as both an artist, and just in general actually? I’m a believer in that if you’re passionate about something, you can spread that passion. That’s the mentality I have with my art. If my love shows, then maybe other people will understand why I’ve come to love something. And maybe they’ll come to love it too. If I’m having fun, maybe they will have fun too! Very cheesy, I know, but that’s just how I roll!!!

Like rare pair? New fandom? Still applies. It might take awhile, but eventually either the people who love that thing will find me, or I’ll help people come to love something new (or at least see where it’s coming from lolol)! 

And as Setsu says:

You tell ‘em girl !!! That devotion is my driving force!!

Of course I know this is idealistic, but I think that’s fine. It’s no bother to me if someone feels indifferent/ negative towards my work because that’s just natural.

I think it’s a form of communication and that’s what drives my art. I’ve been intending on writing a guide/ or talking about my art process for comics for some time now and I think that’d be the first thing I’d mention? I’m always trying to communicate some sort of feeling/tone/idea and that comes from a place of love y’know.

I feel like I’m saying “love” and “passion” a lot - you can really tell I’m vibing with Setsuna huh LMAO. There are other reasons I vibe with her too, but I won’t touch on that.

Coming back to my SetsuAyu series. You can tell why I’m so happy about it right? The story, the pairing dynamic, I feel like that people are understanding what I’m trying to communicate - that people are receiving my feelings of love for it and that makes me smile so widely. I really put a lot into it!!

This series is the first large project I’ve ever taken you see and I’m so so happy that I’ve been able to get this far! It really means a lot to me. But it wasn’t actually the first comic series I’ve tried to do. I actually had a Muse long-running comic planned years ago - a Dancing Stars on Me! AU but it never came to life. I think it was my lack of confidence that held me back. It might be weird of me to pat myself on the back, but I’m proud that I managed to get going this time!! I’ve actually written the SetsuAyu series in a way that for the first half, I could drop the series if I really wanted to at any point (each part is pretty independent, and that description I always copy-and-paste is all the explanation you really need), but now I know for sure that I don’t want to drop it! I wanna keep going!! Even if it gets tough. Although it might be a little early for me to make such bold declarations, I’m only 3/10 through LOOOL. But that’s just the way I feel right now!

I know it’s irrational and it’s something I’d rather not admit, but an anxiety that’s always looming over me is the idea that I’m not working hard enough - or that people think I’m not? Each comic update...takes like a month right? And a month is a long time. There’s this part of me that is convinced that people think I’m lazy for working so slowly. And I know it’s not true!! It doesn’t make sense for it to be!!! But like I said it’s irrational.

I’m really proud of this comic y’know. It’s a really big commitment and I’m proud of myself for being able to commit. I work full time 9-5, and I also am in my final year at university. I’m... kind of busy lol. So the huge factor in that month-long update turnaround is just that I don’t have the time to always be drawing. But I try to draw as much as I can! If you have me on discord you might notice me work on it for like 2-5 hours, almost daily before I go to bed (1am). Of course I’m not only drawing, but after I get everything plotted out sometimes that’s all I do. This comic is super time-consuming LMAO - and I try my best to work on it a little at a time.

So yeah, the entire month of comic-production is me drawing every almost every night.

Yeah it, - it’s kind of exhausting. Even though I’m itching to work on my next update, I’ve decided to take a break for uni crunch which is why I say the next one might be two months. It’s really odd though. The other night I was in bed feeling restless. It was so weird not drawing till 1am that I felt like I needed to be doing something. This comic series might have weird effects on my habits...

It makes me anxious thinking that it’d be so long till next update. But I’ll do my best to push that aside ! Hopefully I can get uni done and dusted ASAP! I want them to date dammit...

I've decided that I want to see this series through to the end. It’ll probably be May next year when that happens though LMAO! Please bear with my slow turnaround time. It’s only been 3 updates, but I can already see that I’m improving with each one. With each update I feel like I really learn from the previous and I always feel this sense of excitement with trying out new techniques and trying to create different feelings. I really want to see how the last updates will look compared to the first!  Technically we’re 3/10 (10 is an epilogue), but after 6 I actually stop doing bonuses? So teeechnically I’m like 40% of the way through~.

It might be a little over-ambitious, but I kind of want to print it out and make a hard-copy when I’m done. I’m not sure about what the demand would be if I were to sell it, but I definitely want to print it for myself first and foremost (after touching up the earlier updates of course LOL). It’d be like a physical representation of my achievement. I hope I can make it there.

Anyways, I’ve rambled for far too long. I’m not sure why I suddenly felt like talking about uh, everything but yeaaaah. If you’ve read this far, kudos to you! You now have a window into my soul that I’m still not sure if I’m comfortable with revealing (but I’m comfortable enough because I’m posting this so...)! 

After reading all of this, can you tell why I always get so so happy after each update? It’s the fruition of what’s usually 2-3 weeks of non-stop hard work! Seeing people connect with it always sends me to another realm of bliss and I always feel soft like putty LOL.

[raleighliving]

Raleigh Apartment Culture

So I'm of the mind that Raleigh is a great place to live. It has my favorite things, my favorite people, and I'm too broke to move anywhere else.

Raleigh works for me, but I recognize it doesn't work for everyone. Some people had less than ideal childhoods and wanna escape the state ASAP, some just want to live closer to their dream jobs or have new opportunities. That's all fine, but what if this describes where you are now?

What if, for the sake of argument, you're outside of NC and wanna move in? Moving is expensive, time-consuming, and risky at the best of times; so you wanna make sure that wherever you're landing is at least as good as where you started 90% of the time

"But RL," I hear you say, "you make Raleigh sound like an idyllic dreamscape populated with parks and a diverse kumbayah of peoples living in harmony"

I do talk about Raleigh in a positive light but, like a life saving medicine flavored like ass, sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.

So before you spend thousands of dollars on moving vans, boxes, and grits; here's a crash course on what it's like living in a Raleigh apartment, coming from someone whose majority of Raleigh Living (heh) has been in apartments.

First off, location. Any realtor will tell you that location is 80% of the sale to sound profound, and as anyone who has lived in the middle of ass-backward nowhere can tell you: It sucks having to drive 30 minutes to go anywhere.

Good news: With the Raleigh Beltline and connecting roads, there are very few places in Raleigh where your trip will last longer than thirty minutes one-way. Bad News: where you set down still matters because cutting down on travel is important for car and mental health.

North Raleigh is different from south Raleigh is different from northwest Raleigh, and the locals aren't the only difference you'll find between locations. Each segment of Raleigh has something to offer, with easier access to some attractions than others and neighboring cities for when you need something outside the RDU area.

Using downtown as the center of our wheel, people generally divide Raleigh into North and South Raleigh (with distinction given for NW, SE, NE, etc when needed). N.Raleigh is considered generally more upscale, a slice of suburban living interspersed with plenty of shopping centers for families and the moderately wealthy; but it's boring as all hell.

Want some fun? Excitement in the evenings and a more traditional urban experience with bars, night clubs, strip clubs, and more? South Raleigh is your best bet, at the cost of being the "sketchy" side of Raleigh. That kind of place where you'll see a bunch of auto shops that look abandoned but haven't been closed in the past 5 years and there's at least one customer from time to time.

Of course, this is a lot of generalizing but you'll find that it's still mostly accurate. The main exception in this is Capital Blvd, a highway cutting across north and south Raleigh on the eastern half of the city; a high crime corridor that's undergoing some changes in the northern half that have (somewhat) reduced crime but most people will still associate that area with the majority of Raleigh's crime and debauchery.

More importantly, is the distinction Raleigh citizens put on inside the beltline versus outside the beltline. The I-440 and 540 highways that wrap around Downtown form the mythical beltline, and to a degree what you have access to. Inside the beltline is the majority of workplaces, stores, and shopping centers; while outside you'll still have these things just to a more... dispersed extent.

North Raleigh actually kinda exemplifies this perfectly. Living inside the beltline, you have access to places like North Hills, Crabtree Valley mall, and Triangle Town Center. Live outside the beltline, like I currently am, and you're looking at 10 to 15 minutes to the nearest sheetz for that late night double hot dog fix.

So for point one: How important is it that you're near things? The majority of apartments and rental properties are in or around the belt-line, but if you want to save some cash on rent checks the cheaper properties are gonna extend your trips a bit.

Next, what can you expect in terms of neighbors? Does Raleigh have a hip party scene full of teens renting cheap apartments and blasting trap music at 3AM?

Depends on where you live

I swear not every point is going to be this, but there's an important distinction this time that affects the type of people your complex will likely have surrounding you; are you in North or South Raleigh?

North Raleigh has a ton of pre-schools, k-12 public schools (Leesville, Hillburn, Lead Mine, just to name a few), and office complexes that make up the job market. As a result the majority of apartment renters in north Raleigh tend to be families with a few small kids or so.

As a result, living off of Glenwood North and Edwards Mill I never had any noise problems from neighbors, the worst being kids playing outside at 3PM sounding like they were being murdered (which apparently is a common thing and I apologize to any neighbors I frightened with ghastly shrieks).

What I did have a problem with, however, was the typical Karen's you hear people complain about online. Renting a property now, we have access to our neighborhood's NextDoor page and it's hilarious sometimes to go on and read the comments, but living at a certain property we had a sort of mini-Facebook for residents

That thing was always full of either people who were moving out looking to sell their furniture or people passive-aggressively challenging each other/the apartment managers with comments about things happening around the complex.

Once I logged in to see one man accuse another, without ever actually accusing someone specific ("I know who did it and they should be ashamed" type post) of putting glass beer bottles under the tires of his truck to try and puncture them. Everyone acts civil in public, but then online they'll stir the pot harder than a chef with a hand mixer.

South Raleigh, you have the schools like Shaw University, Meredith, and NCSU; so the people renting down there are typically college kids. You'll see more apartments that cater towards them like University Village or University Woods, but sometimes these places will cater to both college kids and working adults

Avoid these places like the plague, because despite sometimes having a lower cost to live there the neighbors and their shenanigans will drive you up the wall (unless you're the type to join in, then go wild).

I've had friends stay at places like University Village and The Proper (formerly The Vie, formerly Wolf Creek) who've shared horror stories. 3AM parties ending in property damage or vomit in inconvenient places, drug deals not even trying to be subtle, and maintenance workers doing nothing because regardless of the apartment conditions; no school's gonna pull their contract with them unless news articles start getting written.

http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_898ddf34-82f5-11e7-b3d8-07059d248619.html

https://www.wral.com/vie-at-raleigh-residents-finally-able-to-move-into-clean-units/16887833/

http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_ea8ed7aa-a092-11e8-a2af-e70af36566d0.html

Otherwise, south Raleigh apartments are largely like north Raleigh apartments; except the crime rate tends to be a little higher and you'll run into more singles and people working full time.

Otherwise, Raleigh apartment culture is like apartment culture anywhere else in the country. You have a mix of apartments catering to those just looking to live versus more ostentatious luxury apartments with fancy pools, exercise facilities, and tech packages to draw people in.

If you're renting in Raleigh, however, do try to get a roommate or two if you can manage. Even with a decent job paying 800+ on a one bedroom one bath apartment can be exhausting at best, but with even one other person that can functionally halve your expenses

So if you're a young professional, or a student, or even if you have a small family, I can safely recommend renting in Raleigh. There's plenty of places that'll accommodate you, and cater towards your needs.

But what about everyone else? Are there people who shouldn't rent in Raleigh?

No

But there are groups who I'd seriously ask to consider their other choices before picking Raleigh as a destination for their new home.

For instance, are you a member of the LGBT community? A trans or non-binary individual? Well then, first off, I want you to know that you're loved and valid. I'm accepting of who you are and appreciate everyone's right to identify how they choose, but I'm not everyone.

Raleigh's bluer than other parts of North Carolina, as I've stated in other blog write-ups, but it's still part of North Carolina unfortunately and as a result, you'll face some challenges.

I doubt anyone's gonna burn a cross in your yard or knock over your mailbox, but Raleigh doesn't offer LGBT protections for housing, jobs, or credit/lending discriminations according to the Movement Advancement Project's website.

We have support organizations for LGBT and NB individuals, plenty of high schools and colleges have Gay-Straight Alliance clubs, and there are numerous businesses downtown that cater specifically to those individuals... but we're also the state that got into a lot of hot water because of a stupid bathroom bill, and our politicians are trying to pass anti-trans sports legislation (because they now magically care about the integrity of womens sports).

By that measure, but to a lesser extent, if you fall outside the Liberal/Conservative political spectrum then be prepared to have no one to discuss your politics with outside of a few sparse networks like the DSA.

Additionally, if you don't have someone to room with or a significant other to split costs with; you may want to try searching somewhere a little cheaper.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Raleigh housing prices aren't terrible for a major metropolitan city, but we're not the best prices in the world.

You can get prices on apartments and rentals lower than say, California or New York. However, compared to other parts of NC like Greensboro or Garner; rentals are still a bit much.

On average, a Raleigh apartment can run you about $900 for a single bedroom and a single bathroom. You can find cheaper, but often times there's some risk associated (Crime levels, quality of the room, quality of the property manager, etc.) Looking for a two bedroom? Then your average price is gonna jump up to around $1,200, and this is all before utilities and cable come into play.

It's true a lot of companies around here will pay more than the $7.25 minimum wage, but most low-skilled jobs will pay around 10-11 an hour.

I guess though, that's kind of an obvious statement. "Don't live in Raleigh if you can't afford to live in Raleigh."

I might expand on these thoughts at a later time, but hopefully for now I've given you some food for thought; or at the very least an entertaining read for a few minutes.

I love my city, and I love the friends I've made in it, but the sad truth is that nowhere is perfect for everyone; leastways Raleigh. If Raleigh sounds like the kind of place you'd like to live in, at least take a day trip to come visit and see how things go that way. Visit some stores, meet some locals, and form an opinion off of more than travel blogs and youtube videos.

[probably-not-star-lord]

More Than a Mission: Part 1 (Steve Rogers x Reader)

A/N: I’m so excited about this series!! Prepare yourself for so much fluff and unexpected smut. Also, I really got super in-depth about the mission for this fic without knowing if any of it sounds even remotely professional. I apologize if it makes zero sense lmao.

Request: Hello, it’s me Stark again😅 I was wondering if you could do an Imagine with Steve Rogers and it’s fluff with the cliche prompt of you both have to share a bed together on a mission cause Tony “accidentally” ordered the “wrong” room for you guys on the trip everyone was going on 💛

Request: Can you write a fanfic about Steve Rogers x reader because I need it, fluff, smut and whatever you want! xx

Summary: Being an Avenger means following through with a mission no matter what the circumstances are. In this case, thanks to Tony Stark, the most ridiculous circumstance of this mission is pretending to be in love with the one and only Captain America. However, is being in love with Steve really just pretend?

Warnings: swearing, fluff, mentions of drinking

-

Steve Rogers is intoxicating.

Ever since the day you became an Avenger you’ve been addicted to him. You drink in every sip of his kindly attractiveness and his Captain America physique. His muscles nearly rip his shirts to shreds, his piercing blue eyes can make you shudder, and his perfect smile lights up every single room he enters. He’s an adonis. Then, of course, he has this gentlemanly charm that illuminates off of him whenever he speaks and you can never take in enough of his words. A simple interaction will lead to the man living in your thoughts and dreams for hours on end. You push your desires down, so far down that you force yourself to view Steve as nothing more than a colleague, a co-worker, your boss. Yet, no matter how hard you try, he continues to stay on your mind. He’s intruding like that.

However, your relationship with Steve has always been serious, professional. There are rare occasions where the two of you train together, sparring aggressively until he inevitably wins. He pins you down on the mat at the conclusion of each session, staring into your eyes with a dominant gaze and beads of sweat dripping down the sides of his face. On the unlikely chance that you conquer the Captain during training, you’re the one pinning him to the floor. Your thighs straddle his large frame as you breathe heavily, letting yourself exhale as you accept your victory. Steve’s clear satisfaction with your win causes him to form this sweet smirk of his that makes your head dizzy. It makes working out impossible. This means you often spar with Natasha, who basically taught you everything you know anyway. She is the only person you’ve spoken to about your secret fascination with Steve, so she allows the intrusion of you begging her to spar when Captain America is filling up the gym with his utter perfection.

You try so hard to repress whatever feelings you have for Steve. When he gives orders during missions you almost always do as you’re told, attempting a thought that is anything other than Captain America in his suit commanding you in the bedroom as well as on the battlefield. If you decide to ignore his orders, the two of you will have it out with each other. Steve always remains calm with his words but can lose his temper and raise his tone of force from simply authoritative to echoing with frustration. You never fail to snap back at him, your feelings subsiding and your stubbornness taking control. There is pointing and groaning and getting into each other’s faces with a distinct tension that Natasha likes to label as sexual. You would prefer not to think of it as such.

Steve is your boss, after all, and outside of the sparring or the fighting he is nothing but sweet in a very professional manner. There has never been a hint of romance as far as you can tell, but there tends to be a sort of nervousness that finds Steve when the two of you are together. It boosts your confidence. He greets you every morning in the kitchen of Avenger’s Tower as the two of you drink coffee and eat breakfast with casual small talk. At all of Tony’s parties Steve will compliment you and offer you a drink, spending the night engaging in conversation that could only ever be between two colleagues. It’s always been that way, no matter how badly your heart wants more. 

The conference room feels stuffy as your thoughts consume you. It remains a struggle to remove Steve from your brain as he currently sits beside you, arms crossed and eyebrows creased as he listens to Tony. Your dear friend speaks to all of the Avengers in the room about an upcoming mission as you clearly focus elsewhere. Yet, a compelling task with the mention of you and the man in your fantasies quickly draws your attention.

“We have to do what?”

You and Steve speak at the same time, staring dumbfounded at Tony. The idea is crass and in all honesty, it makes you uncomfortable. These concepts are reserved for your daydreams, not a very real mission.

“Come on,” Tony retorts. “All I’m asking is that the two of you pretend to be a couple. Dance. Flirt a little bit. Maybe even hold hands. It’s not that complicated.”

Steve exhales loudly and turns to you. “Y/N, are you comfortable with this?”

“I am if you are, Captain,” you respond, casually shrugging with the effort to emit no sense of shock. Steve looks to the floor and chuckles nervously. Clearly, calling Steve by his authoritative name does things to him. Things that shouldn’t be mentioned in the workplace.

“Well, then, it’s settled.” Tony claps his hands together and makes his way over to the front of the board room, furthering the meeting. “Capsicle will finally thaw out of the ice and learn how to flirt with a girl. Maybe, if we’re lucky, he’ll do more than just flirt with Y/N.”

“Tony,” Steve addresses him in his Captain America voice, a stern look on his face as his hands form fists on top of the conference table. “That isn’t exactly appropriate.”

“Who said it had to be?”

Steve furrows his eyebrows at Tony, knuckles turning white from how hard he is clenching his fists. But, his face is a deep shade of crimson and the whole room can see it. As Tony takes a step back in defense, rolling his eyes and continuing with the plan, you smile to yourself in hopes to relieve Steve’s obvious tension. He laughs quietly, calming his own nerves. It catches your attention and the two of you make eye contact, only for a mere second. The awkwardness of the entire situation forces the both of you to look away.

The meeting with everyone lasts for several hours as Tony explains the threat of the mission. This time, he has all of your attention. There is a group trying to infiltrate large, Manhattan corporations through the computer systems, attempting to steal billions of dollars and any information that could be valuable to shut those businesses down. The leader, Henry Red, used to work for Tony. He was fired for leaking crucial documents. It wasn’t discovered until later that it was on purpose. Red has always had the same plan. He wants to take down Tony and any corporations similar to Stark Industries just so his own business can thrive. Obviously, this includes Stark Industries and quite possibly SHIELD or Avengers Assemble.

Red could have easily been taken down by Tony, Bruce, and maybe even SHIELD agents who are simply just good with technology. But, he isn’t working alone. Tony goes on to disclose to everyone during the meeting that Red is much more powerful than he had previously believed. He has several police officers, detectives, and even agents within Avengers Tower all working for him. These are all people being paid off to remain loyal to him, being very discreet about their private affairs. This means you can’t trust anyone but the people confined within the conference room at this exact moment. Tony warns that his threat is not only public exposure and robbery, but Henry Red is a man who is also willing to kill, as he has done numerous times in the past. Luckily, going undercover, none of you will let that happen.

“So, where are we going, Tony? His evil lair?”

He points at you. “Now is not the time for sarcasm.”

“That’s interesting coming from you,” you acknowledge, earning a laugh from the room. “But, seriously, where the hell are we going?”

“I’m sending Romanaff, Wilson, and Barnes along with you and Cap to an event being thrown by Red himself. It won’t be as extravagant as the parties I throw, of course, but it will be busy, fancy, and crowded. You’ll be overseas and Red has never been up close and personal with any of you, so I’m hoping you’ll be unrecognizable. I want to make it believable that all of you are on Red’s side, not trying to take him down. I’ll also make sure your clothing is taken care of so you can dress up and fit in with the environment.”

“Does that mean I get to wear an expensive dress and high heels?” Tony nods at your question. Your mind fills with images of you dressed up in an elegant gown and heels standing beside Steve in an expensive suit, posing to be his lover. “Will you be paying for all of this?”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Who else would be paying for it?”

“When’s this event taking place?” Nat chimes in.

Tony reviews some notes that lay on the conference table. “It looks like Red is throwing the shindig on Saturday night. However, I’m sending all of you ASAP. That way you can get some rest, settle in, and hopefully survey the area.”

“One more question,” you assert. “Will there be booze at this party?”

“Of course,” he responds. “I encourage you and Steve to drink socially, in order to appear like you belong and not draw any attention. But no getting drunk, I need you to be on high alert. I’m looking at you, Y/N.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You brush him off. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll make sure to keep an eye on her,” Steve assures, sending you a warm smile that makes your heart melt. Of course the golden boy himself makes a gesture of protection. You’re no damsel in distress, even Steve knows that, but having an attractive super soldier by your side can’t be all that bad.

Tony continues devising the plan. He goes on to tell you that Henry Red is currently based in Germany. He likes to hide out, get away from New York. This way he is unsuspected when his goons commit mass murders, killing those who are a threat to his heist. Wherever Henry Red is located, that’s where you and most of the team are being sent. Natasha is the lookout, lurking in places within the event to keep a close eye on any possible threats. Tony debated calling Hawkeye to help Natasha and keep her in check, but he chose to let Clint stay home with his family. Thor would be useful in this situation in case things get out of hand, but he’s currently off world. Bucky and Sam are going to watch the action of the party, posing as bodyguards and checking who goes in and who goes out. This is to keep track of those who are working for Red. Every person under his radar will be sure to make an appearance at this event. No one wants to be around when the hacking and the destroying of the companies is set to take place. That is why Tony decides Bruce and himself will keep a hold on Avengers Tower, locking in the computer system while monitoring the technology of other businesses. But, it all starts at the source. That’s where you and Steve come in.

Tony informs the two of you that you will be the only Avengers not in constant communication with the rest. It is dire for the others to always be reporting updates back to Tony and Bruce, surveying the scene and giving a run down to make sure no one is leaving the event and interrupting the process of protecting the computer system and technology. When Tony and Bruce complete the necessary arrangements to preserve the information at SHIELD, Avengers Assemble, and Stark Industries, they will have to let everyone else know right away. That’s when the cover will be blown so Nat, Bucky, and Sam can take down anyone suspected to be working with Red. Tony says that if you and Steve are always talking into the comms, suspicion will arise and the entire operation could be blown. The goal is to make sure Red is in your sight at all times, and if possible, you have to distract him from checking up on his plan. That should give Tony and Bruce enough time to protect the other systems while also hacking into his. After that is complete, you’ll have to take Red down and turn him over to the custody of the other agents that Tony will send to the event later on.

“We get in. We get Red. We get out,” Steve announces. “Got it.”

Tony sighs. “You are only allowed to get Red and get out of there on my signal. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, Cap and I can handle it,” you inform him, putting him at ease.

“Make sure you’re always watching him,” Tony says seriously. Then a sly grin forms on his lips. “But have a little fun, too. Act like a real couple. Red and everyone else at the party needs to buy it.”

“I’m sure it won’t be a hard act to sell,” Sam blurts, his eyes focusing between you and Steve.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you question.

“Nothing.” Sam winks at Steve then nudges Bucky. He chuckles. Steve isn’t amused and neither are you.

“I agree,” Tony admits, ignoring your and Steve’s reactions. “But just in case the two of you pussy out of this, I need your word that you can really sell it. We can’t have all hell break loose just because the old man doesn’t know how to act around Y/N.”

“We’ll do our best, Tony,” Steve affirms, entirely dodging Tony’s insult.

You place a hand delicately on Steve’s arm, feeling him tense up a little under your kind touch. “Please, we’ve totally got this. Right, Captain?”

“Right.”

Part Two: Here

A/N: It’s been so long since I wrote this original fic that I rewrote it with some minor changes. The premise and plot is remaining the same so if you originally read this fic when I first wrote it ages ago and are wondering why I posted a new one, please stick around because I am continuing it after I update the old chapters. I kept the tag lists the same but let me know if you’d like me to update anything with the tags! I hope you all enjoy!

permanent tag list: @lolabean1998 @thisismysecrethappyplace @crazystarlady @gloomybisexualemo @yougottalovefandoms  @emilymarie0422​

series tag list: @dressed-up-just-like-z1ggy​ @buginkt​ @innerthingstudentblr​ @a-study-in-letters​ @noisyinfluencerstrawberry​ @thecraziestcrayon​ @rhiannon-the-troublemaker​

[bereaving]

You definitely don't need to apologize for that 😆 I do that too...

For me it's different cause I love the horror genre. Like not this random, boring clichee sort of horror but this really subtle and deep horror like in Hill House. I'm a huge fan of it. For me it wasn't really important what's it about, I just wanted to continue this anthology.  

A lot of people say that honestly 🤔 it's different when you watch Bly first and then Hill House. But they both have a lot of similarities and I love that. 

She is! And it's for sure that most of the time where people were going through a traumatic childhood, they turned out to be assholes. Like we have an example right next to Jamie on the same show - Peter. He went through that as a kid and he turned out to be abusive and toxic, mostly. So it's great to see that there's a different way to go with that or to deal with everything Jamie had to deal with as a kid and how she turned out to be as an adult.  

So yeah that's really nice to see that people aren't the way you first think they are by how they act, you just need to get to know them and we did after her fantastic speech. I can't tell you how often I watched that because its one of my favorite scenes in the whole season. She definitely is one of the most important characters on the show. It's also a beautiful reference to how a flower needs it time to bloom and so do people, like you said. 

I mean she's definitely holding herself back a bit, and she tries to wrap her flirting and overall conversations with Dani up with humor. I think that's a great way of showing someone you really care about them without being too forward. So yeah I agree with you on that she would make a move if she'd be completely sure that's it okay for Dani too. But she would definitely do it in a Jamie - like - way 😂 like acting all cool and being funny yk 

Dani is bold af 😆 like she has shown us that so many times and it is refreshing to see. Cause if I'm being honest I didn't think of her that way when I first saw her. I thought she's cute and all but when I first got to know her backstory a bit I immediately changed my mind. Also the scene she had with Henry at the bar was bold af, I'd  have never done that for sure 😅

And then everything that happens around her at Bly and with Jamie, no doubt at all. 

Haha I had to laugh when Jamie said "who the hell knew" 😂 that was awesome and also gave Dani a feeling of relief. That was the first time she expressed her feelings, her real feelings, to someone she likes so much and no one blamed her for that.

I guess you can see it both ways. I hated how they decided to end it, like they just gave us all and then in the end they took it all away 😪 just seeing how Dani sacrificed herself and then no one even remembered her and she just has no choice but going to Bly again and die there, it was so hard to watch and to accept. And there's Jamie,  alone, with just the memories of Dani and she keeps waiting for her to return till the end... that's just heartbreaking and I need to hold back myself from crying every time I even think about it. 

It is a masterpiece, no doubt, but I just wish they would let them finally be happy for the rest of their days.

Yeah that's the thing when you watch Bly first I guess 😅 I knew Victoria will be in season 2, too. So I wasn't as surprised about it, but the fact that she played Nell just makes it change a bit. She nails playing those characters with real struggles and she brings them to life in a way I've never seen anybody do it 💯 her microexpressions are so spot on, like I don't even know what to say about it. These two characters are stucked in my head too. Dani a bit more than Nell but that's just because it's so long ago when I watched Hill House. 

I mean definitely! I hope Amelia stays on the horror path that would be great for me 😂 also same here, I won't watch YOU I don't know why but it's probably the show in general seems to be not really my thing 😕 unfortunately I have to say...cause i don't get to see Victoria

I really hope they bring them both back to The Haunting Series, I'd love to see Amelia back there and Victoria too 👌 but I guess we have to wait a long time for that 

We goin’ under the cut again because this one is also long, my friend haha

A horror two-timer such as myself really doesn’t have any other opinion other than the ones I’ve seen: Bly is and feels more gothic, whereas Hill House is more... I guess classically horror. They are both fantastic, and tbh I had no idea this is what horror does. I’d never looked into horror as a way of expanding the story, and Mike and his team had done that beautifully with The Haunting. Hours after I’d published the ask it occurred to me that the answer was so engrossed with Dani and Jamie that I’d completely forgotten to write about Peter lol whoops. He and Jamie are really two opposites of the spectrum. And in episode 7, I get that the whole deal for that is to get a better insight into his background, and what shapes him and what made him the way that he is. I enjoyed it as a casual watcher, and I liked OJC’s portrayal of him, but to be completely honest, I left that episode with very little added empathy for him. I’ve seen people like him enough both in real life and in fictional portrayals. I know what it’s like to be in the presence of people like him, and it is not in any way pleasant. So yeah, Peter, as this post so eloquently put it, can choke.

Jamie on the other hand... 🥰 Have I mentioned I love her? Lemme just say it again, just because.

Re: “I’m so glad you stayed” scene: That whole tracking shot... ugh, it just gives me goosebumps. I have seen it more than once and every time I need the scene for GIFs or anything, I’d always watch from the moment Owen’s car drives away. These two smol wives own my heart and my soul, and I love them a lot a lot.

Re: the ending Completely understand where you’re coming from, and it’s not something that I can casually think about or even try to sit with without some sort of mental preparation -- like taking a deep breath before you go for a deep dive. It still hurts, I still get sad and cry about the way their story had to end. But, that being said, to me it doesn’t feel like a disservice to their journey. It wasn’t done just for the sake of dramatization, or to show any kind of... hidden morality message, or anything like that. There’s no agenda to the story, is maybe a more succinct way of putting it. Just like any other couples we would see on screen, it treats them with respect. I think we all wish, deep down inside, that they would be able to shake off The Lady and live their best lives, but... I don’t know. Personally, I don’t think it would’ve stayed or created this big of an impact if they were to just ride off into the sunset together. 

Another thing to add is how good Bly is at exaggerating and amplifying aspects of real life and making it to be an element of the story. Some people forget you, some people will always wait for you and want to be with you. Some things, you do without thinking and it becomes a habit. Sometimes you lose yourself. Sometimes you’re stuck in circumstances or places you don’t really want to be in, but have to due to obligations and responsibilities. Some places really do have a pull of their own. Sometimes people love wrong, and it consumes you. Sometimes people love right, and it saves you. Maybe that’s just me and my takeaway from it, though. Last time I said Bly has changed the course of my 2020, and by that I mean that it’s taught me to have feelings again, to re-examine things, to care. And I just... love this series. Sadness and all.

MOVING ON 😆 I bow to Victoria. Ari ( @camhowes ) was the one who encouraged me to watch Bly in the first place, and so naturally once I started Hill House I messaged her and said, “I can’t believe Dani and Nell are played by THE SAME ACTRESS???????????” My freak out over her is not over yet, and I am begging anyone to let her be in all the things. I’ll fucking watch it (again... other than You) The way Nell breaks my heart... One of my friends who’s been a long Hill House champ has repeatedly said to me that Theo is the most fascinating sibling, and while I agree to a certain extent... Nell has my heart.

When it comes to Netflix’s You... to be completely blunt, a story that is pitched as “stalker man show, he kills people” is just not gonna appeal to me in general. No offense to anyone but there are just too many men I do not give a squat about. I don’t know if my resolve with this show will change. There’s been a couple sets of Love Quinn that I’ve seen (when she goes to the market in a beanie, or when she’s cooking and baking and drinking wine, or when she apparently went full on revenge baking mode) that are intriguing and is chipping away at my resolve, but... yeah, for the moment, I’m staying away from that series.

And I’m just gonna put a thought out into the universe, that if Miss Amelia Eve is hiring anyone to help her with her dog-walking business, I am available and can start ASAP.