#IT NEVER WORKS

[outromoony]

Let me seduce you with my encyclopedic knowledge of the Marauders fandom.

[spiderman-iamspiderman]

modern au rdr2 but dutch downloads those apps where it says you can earn money from playing games

[anabimelo]

[one-chaotic-bee]

BATFAM X PJO/HoO AU

Au where the batkids are half-bloods, Bruce isn’t but during his training he was taught how to see through the mist. Alfred can’t see through the mist either but he’s been around the block enough times to know about half-bloods and monsters. Damian also isn’t a half-blood and although he’ll never admit it, he’s EXTREMELY jealous of his siblings and their divine bloodlines. Which god should be each kid’s parent? My picks are:

Dick: Nike, Goddess of Victory

Jason: Nemesis, Goddess of Revenge

Tim: Hypnos, God of Sleep

Barbara: Athena, Goddess of Wisdom

Steph: Aphrodite, Goddess of Love

Cass: Pshyche, Goddess of the Soul

Duke: Apollo, God of the Sun

Luke: Ares, God of War

Harper: Hephaestus, God of the Forge

Helena: Persephone, Goddess of Spring

[oceanwithinsblog]

just finished the nth rewatch of good omens and boy! do those last 15 mins never hurt any less 😃😃

[txttletale]

the guys who write the DSM put a restraining order on m ebecause i keep calling their office asking them to add a new diagnosis for a traumagenic disorder suffered by yioutubers where they compulsively pre-empt every bad faith take that the most annoying guys on earth could possibly come up with before they say anything. bnecause they know those guys are real and looking for them

[welcoming-grey]

Wes dresses up as a clown for Halloween every year to prove that because Danny Fenton and Phantom share the same fear they are the same person.

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

Fukuzawa being single seen as a big problem, I bet they have like an ‘operation: get peepaw a date’ file somewhere

[siveine]

meet person over 60

dont mention im trans

never correct when they misgender me

"so what do you think about letting the transgenders in bathrooms? what if a man harrasses a little girl"

are all boomers like this or am i just unlucky

[sparkle-fiend]

How to Chill a Canned Soda

(when you have ADHD)

Place warm soda into freezer.

Set a timer!

Get distracted and ignore timer when it goes off.

Realize you are thirsty.

Remove frozen soda from freezer.

Set in warm place to thaw.

(Get distracted again.)

Place warm soda into freezer…

[mehkers]

“Tu peux passer le sel, sil tu plaît?”

Tamaki nodded his head and passed the salt to you, but froze midway. “…Quoi?” His eyes like saucers bore holes into you.

“Quoi, ‘quoi’? Tu peux passer le sel?” Reiterating your request, you kept your hands outstretched to the salt Tamaki was holding out, pretending like this was normal.

Your boyfriend, Tamaki Suoh, while being Japanese he’s also half French. Living in France for most of his life with his mother before moving to Japan to join Ouran High School, he’s quite fluent in French. Time to time the eccentric blond would drop word in French whenever he spoke, which made him seem more like a princely gentleman from France than the childish dork he actually is.

Since Ouran is an elite school for the rich, students being able to speak French wasn’t quite surprising, but you.. oh you, the transfer student along with Haruhi, he was not expecting such fluency from you.

“You- Tu- Tu parle la Français!?” He scrambled, sitting up and grabbing your shoulders from across the table. The rest of the Ouran Host Club members were here too, since he decided that it was normal to bring friends along in your dates.

“You didn’t know?” Honey-Senpai gulped the cake down, his sweet voice being the first one to pop up.

The orange haired twins leaned on either side of Tamaki’s shoulders, smiles wide like Cheshire Cat. “Hmm, flustered, boss~?”

Tamaki pushed the twins off, and instead grabbing your hand, the salt now forgotten. There were hearts in his eyes, and his face gained an ambre of pink hues.

You laughed, amused by his reaction. “Oui, mon amor, je parle la Français. J’ai étudie la Français dans mon école précédente.”

“Ahhh incroyable ! Je suis très heureux… Très heureux!” He exclaimed repeatedly. You were about to say that you weren’t very fluent in it, and that you were still learning, but the blonde cut you off and went on a whole rant in French. You caught a couple of words like “ma petite chou” and.. wait never mind, it was basically just him squealing. The rest of the Host Club came to an agreement to leave the two love birds (Tamaki and you) alone for a sweet time.

With an abrupt kiss, he finally shut up. “Mignon~” Tamaki turned red and pouted, while your joyous laughter filled the air. The rest of the date went by smoothly, and ended with buying tickets to the next plane to France.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Translations:

* Tu peux passer le sel, sil tu plaît? = Can you pass the salt, please?

* …Quoi? = …what?

* Quoi, ‘quoi’? Tu peux passer le sel? = What, ‘what’? Can you pass the salt?

* Tu- Tu parle la Français!? = You- You speak French!?

* Oui, mon amor, je parle la Français. J’ai étudie la Français dans mon école précédente. = Yes, my love, I speak French. I studied French in my previous school.

* Ahhh incroyable ! Je suis très heureux… Très heureux ! = Ahhh amazing! I am very happy… Very happy!

* Ma petite chou = My little cabbage (direct translation) It’s kind of like saying “my darling”

* Mignon = cute

[fruity-tarts]

Sometimes I get sad that Arthur died...

Then I log onto Ao3 for some✨️h e a l i n g✨️

[duahauuoplanh]

[midnightmah07]

Thinking about GM Malleus asking Jeanne for a dance only for her to audibly groan at the idea

[lcpmon]

eIesa with lngo

[auroragehenna]

AI-less Whumptober

Day 18 (Bloody knuckles)

TW/CW: Punching a wall (kinda sh-y), torture trauma, threatening whumper, manhandling, defiant whumpee, scared whumpee, isolation whump-cold whumper (at the very end), Word count: 721

Pix is the lovely whumper oc of @yourlocalgaefae33 from an rp she and me are creating. If you wanna read it let me know and I can see if you can get the link to the whump discord server.

Lyra was staring at the heavy door that had shut behind Pix. She listened to her footsteps disappearing  and tried to calm her heavy breathing. It was no use and shortly after she found herself storm towards the next wall and punch it with her fist. It hurt and damn it felt good. So she kept on punching until she barely felt the pain anymore. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did I mess up!? How could I mess this up!! How could I let her see so much, how-what she saw. The fear. No. NO. No! And now I’ve lost privileges. Okay smallest of my problems. Follow! The! Gods! Damn! Rules! That’s the only fucking thing!! Adam. Girahim. Lilith. Lucifer. Belial. Crow. Zestia. Electra. You’ve always done it. SO STICK TO THE DAMN PLAN! Each thought undermined with a strong punch. Suddenly through her panicked anger she sees red. Literally. There’s streams of red on the wall in front of her. She looks down on her fist and sees its bleeding. Shit. She thought. But then she heard footsteps come closer to the basement door. Her eyes go wide and she scrambles to go back to her stance in the middle of the floor. Arms legerly crossed, trying to hide her bloody knuckles from Pix. Every touch burned but it was better than giving the bitch the satisfaction.

Pix entered the door and made sure to lock the door behind her before walking down the stairs.

Lyra sees that her before injured hand is now bandaged and it gives her a little bit of satisfaction. That’s gonna suck for her for a while, she thought grimly.

Pix walks straight up to her, stopping only a meter or so away. Definitely inside Lyra’s personal space bubble and definitely in arm’s length. “What are you so cocky about huh? You failed in every possible way. And the only thing that came out of it is that I got to see your panic. Your fear.”

“No. It also proved that you’re not untouchable, you’re not invincible or perfect. And now we both saw that.”

Pic quickly takes a step toward her and grabs her chin roughly before smiling ever so sweetly. “Oh honey, you just got lucky. You caught me lacking simply because I was happy. And how could I not be if you’re giving me everything.”

“Bull!”

“No.”

Lyra imitates a Russian accent: “I am not giving everything.”

“Aww still trying to play your little games?”, Pix taunts before grabbing Lyra’s arm and ripping it down, breaking her kidnappee’s confident stature. A short, pained hiss escaped Lyra and Pix looked at her arms in confusion. Her gaze falls on Lyra’s bloody knuckles, then to the closest wall with the blood smears and a sadistic grin breaks the tension in her face. “Well, well, well, what is this? Were you trying to already punish yourself by yourself?”

“Yeah, sure.”, Lyra bit back.

“Or was there maybe another reason why you redecorated my wall?”, Pix drills in a luring tone.”

“I simply felt like it. It’s actually kinda fun, I used to sometimes do it at work with the soil bags we sell. Outside in the cold.” “-Lyra. Stop trying to stall. Or distract me. That might have worked with Adam but not with me.

Lyra paled but she didn’t flinch. Even if, wouldn’t flinch.

“Why would you punch a wall, Lyra?”

“It’s none of your business!”

“What were you thinking, hm?

Lyra gasped softly for air.

Bullseye, Pix thought triumphantly.

“Nothing of interest. The wall just looked very punchable!”

“Se defensive.”

“Uuugh! You’re impossible.”

“My best guess is-she digged her nails further into Lyra’s face when she tried to pull her head away-that you were frustrated with yourself. That you were trying to remind yourself of your rules-she drew goosefeet into the air at that word. Tell me, is that how you teach yourself, Lyra? Do you learn well through pain?”

Lyra’s eyes go wide. Noup, fuck no. “Nice try, but no.”

“Hmm. Guess I’ll just have to see for myself during the time you’re here don’t I.”, and with that she released Lyra’s chin and took a box Lyra didn’t even notice she brought back upstairs with her. A few sausage sticks and bread flew down the stairs before the door fell shut.

Bonus for the ones that get the Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow reference. Lyra is a huge (quoting) nerd!

Taglist: @yourlocalgaefae33, @princessofhe11, @greatkittencloud, @bisexuawolfsalt, @ailesswhumptober