#MegA Weird Incorrect Quotes

[c0konk]

Louie/Dewey: They say…

Louie/Dewey: I can’t fall in love with every boy I meet.

Louie/Dewey: I say to them…

Louie/Dewey: ✨Mind your heterosexual business✨

[batfamilywonders]

Batfam incorrect quotes

Dick: I’m the smartest, wisest person in this group. Tim: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine? Dick: I paid for my Mars Bar, I’m getting my Mars Bar.

Tim: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying? Stephanie: Damn, if people did that to each other, Jason would've killed me years ago.

Tim: How the hell are you still alive? Dick: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.

Dick: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! Stephanie: Please, just say fuck.

Jason, digging his grave: Long story short, this is my grave.......Want me to make you one too?

Tim: Silence is golden. Stephanie: Duct tape is silver.

Stephanie: Just took a personality test and got an A+.

Stephanie: *on the phone with Jason* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit. Jason: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you. Stephanie: Maybe.

Store Worker: Would a “Dick” please come to the front desk? Dick, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to Tim and Jason: I believe they belong to you? Tim and Jason, simultaneously: We got lost. Dick: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

Tim, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— Damian: A family. Stephanie: A better love life. Jason: Mental stability. Dick: *clueless* Bagels?

Tim: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Damian: Well then whose is it? Tim, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

Bruce: If we lose, you’re out of the will. Jason: I was in the will?

Teacher: Your child was in a fight. Dick: Oh no, that’s terrible! Tim: Did they win?

[melishade]

Attack on Prime: Incorrect Quotes

(This was something I felt like I should’ve done a while back which sounds like fun) Spoilers/Link to story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36583423/chapters/91243426

Hanji: I am trying to talk to my friends! *turns to Megatron* Hey, Megatron, we’re friends now, right?

Megatron: Frag off.

Hanji, giving off a subtly unhinged, smile: The best!

================

Levi: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Prime?

Optimus: No.

Hanji, raising her hand: I do!

Levi: I know, Four-eyes.

Hanji: I’m sad.

Levi: I know, Four-eyes.

======================

Hanji: Name one way to be nice to people.

Megatron: Don’t kill them.

Hanji: Setting the bar a little low, but I’ll allow it.

=======================

Hanji to Megatron: I’ve decided to see your threats against my life as flirting.

Megatron pulls out sword, only for Optimus to tackle him to the ground.

====================

*Optimus, giving off a small smile*

Connie: Optimus, you’re smiling.

Sasha: It’s weird, like seeing a turtle out of it’s shell.

===================

Levi to Megatron: Now, do take this the wrong way, but I can’t wait for you to leave.

===================

Hanji: Optimus, what’s the best way to get revenge on my enemies?

Optimus: The best revenge is living with kindness and moving on.

Hanji glances over at Megatron: Megatron?

*Megatron slams a gun on the table*

======================

Zeke (who does not like Megatron despite their alliance): See you in hell.

Megatron, smirking: Are you asking to court me? If so, I accept.

=======================

Hanji: Delaying death is Megatron’s favorite hobby.

================

Armin: Why is this god-forsaken hole worth dying for?

Megatron: Don’t ask me. You’re the ones that are going to be dying.

=================

Mikasa: Megatron, you...saved me?

Megatron: You are the only one that I respect.

===================

Levi: You’re really campaigning for asshole of the year, aren’t you?

Megatron: As defending champion, are you nervous?

=====================

*Megatron addressing the Warrior Cadets*: Any questions?

Gabi, raising her hand: Yeah, ever killed anyone with a spoon?

Megatron: No, but I am seriously considering it.

=======================

Optimus: I’ve only had the Survey Corps for a day and a half, but if anything happens to them, I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Megatron: Awfully violent eulogy, Prime.

=====================

Megatron: I have a plan.

Optimus: Your last plan was murder.

==================

Hanji: You are my best friend, and i would do anything for you.

Optimus: I want you to eat three meals a day and maintain a proper sleep schedule.

Hanji: Absolutely not.

(This scenario can also work vice versa, with Hanji scolding Optimus.)

==========================

Hanji to the Scouts: I’ve figured out a foolproof way to determine if someone’s evil.

Jean: And that is?

Hanji: If they dislike Optimus, they’re evil.

Eren: Yeah, that makes sense.

==========================

Megatron to Zeke: What’s the word for that infestation of tiny creatures over there?

*Zeke stares at Megatron in disbelief*: Those are children. That’s a school.

=======================

Optimus: Remember when you didn’t solve all of your problems with murder?

Megatron: Stop romanticizing the past.

==========================

Eren: I wasn’t injured. I was lightly stabbed.

Optimus: I’m sorry, YOU WERE STABBED?!

Eren: Lightly stabbed. I didn’t want to frighten you.

======================

Megatron: Could you be any more annoying?

Hanji grinning with delight: Easily.

===============

Levi: God, give me patience.

Optimus: I believe the term is ‘give me strength.’

Levi: If God gave me more strength, Buckethead would be dead.

========================

Optimus: Take care of yourself, Eren.

Eren: Optimus, I’m fine. I’m your student.

Optimus: And that is why I am saying it.

========================

Megatron: Don’t worry, I have a few weapons up my sleeve.

Rod Reiss: You mean ‘tricks’?

Historia, Eren, and Kenny: He does not!

Megatron, pulling out his sword: I do not.

=======================

Optimus: I have a medical condition. It is ‘caring too much’ and it’s incurable.

========================

Levi: Before I do anything, I’d ask myself: “Would Buckethead do the exact same thing?” If the answer’s yes, then I don’t do it.

(This was fun. Megatron is definitely the easier one to associate the incorrect quotes with because he’s such an asshole. As the story progresses again in December, I’m going to continue this because they’ll be more information to work with. But if you guys have your own ideas for incorrect quotes, I’d be happy to read it.)

[fairypoison]

ART REQUESTS!!!

So like im mega giga bored rn and i love drawing stuff so what would yall want me to draw?

List of fandoms:

Stardew Valley

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

The Owl House

Danganronpa

Gorrilaz

WILL:

Light gore. Nothing sexual but if its yami kawaii type gore then its okay

Furry (ill try lmao no guaranteeing im good at it)

SFW

Incorrect quotes

WONT:

Ships

NSFW

Guro

Mech

Pedo/zoo

That kinda shit basically dont ask for weird things

[meg-a-weird-writing]

Meg: *getting in trouble for something* If I’m going down, I’m taking everyone else down with me!

[im-still-watching-anime]

naruto: guys don’t freak out but i think kakashi-sensei and gai-sensei might like each other. romantically.

sakura: uhh duh?? you were the ring bearer at their wedding remember?

naruto: that was a wedding?? i thought was just a friendship ceremony thing?

sakura: you didn’t even put together that it was a wedding after you had your own??

naruto: wait—

sasuke: no.

naruto: WAIT—

sasuke: i swear if you say what i think you’re about to say—

naruto: SASUKE AND I ARE MARRIED?!

sasuke: obviously! how the hell did you not realize that was a wedding??

naruto: it’s not my fault! i was raised an orphan! how did YOU not realize i didn’t know what was actually happening?

sasuke: i don’t know naruto! i assumed the “i now pronounce you husband and husband” followed by a kiss might have given it away

naruto: i thought that was a joke! like a no-homo kiss??

sasuke: a no-homo kiss. right.

sasuke: i am going to strangle you to death and then bring you back to life so i can do it again

naruto: wait. before that— if you DID know what was going on that means you agreed to marry me?? because you like me?? oh my god can we get married again?? i’ve been planning our wedding since we were eight

sasuke: get married again?? you want me to admit to everyone that we got married without you even realizing it and then announce we’re getting married again within the same breath? do you know how humiliating that would be?? how shameful?

naruto: sooo can we??

sasuke: *deep sigh* yeah.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Dave, probably talking to John: its not gay if its with an alien

Karkat: WHAT'S GAY?

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

The Laboratory of Dr. Wily

Dr. Wily: Gentlemen, vegetables have threatened man for generations. I have obtained funds to solve this vegetable nightmare.

Plague Knight: Hey, um…

Dr. Wily: Behold!

Plague Knight: Hey, Dr. Wily, I thought that grant was for something like to, build weapons or to‐

Dr. Wily: The grant!? …what is that?

Plague Knight: Uh‐

Dr. Wily: Shut up! And now, behold! …the Rabbot!

(a large, steel shutter door opens to reveal a giant mechanical Rabbid)

Plague Knight: Uh, Dr. Wily…

Dr. Wily: Now bring me my large, French perfume and spray him in the eye, because THAT’S how it happened to me!

(a mechanical arm lowers down holding a bottle of perfume that then promptly sprays the robot Rabbid in the eyes)

Rabbot: …DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Dr. Wily: Now you feel pretty, don’t you!? MWA HA HA HA HA‐

(suddenly the Rabbot breaks free of its’ shackles and smashes through the wall, escaping and going on a rampage)

Dr. Wily: THE RABBOT! My creation! (walks over to the giant Rabbid shaped hole in the wall) WHAT HAS SCIENCE DOOOOOOOOOOONE!?

[dreamerswriter]

Sherlock Holmes: I’m Positive He Said This at One Point

So.... I like Brooklyn 99. It looks like an amazing show. I can’t watch it, so I'm going by YouTube videos and memes. 

After looking at it, Jake reminds me a lot of Sherlock if Sherlock just straight up said everything that came across his mind. That being said, I’m pretty sure Sherlock would say this. You can’t convince me otherwise. 

Enjoy all these incorrect quotes! I have no restraint! 

Also, spoilers! SO, don’t look if you don’t want any!

I half expected the Mittlemont case to go like this. 

Culprit: I killed him for love! Sherlock: cool motive still murder!

I’m surprised that hasn’t happened. 

Sherlock plays his violin to get the suspects to sing Victim: number 5! Number 5 killed my brother Sherlock: oh my gods I forgot about that part

You know what? This is a modern AU of sorts. That’s how I'm going to explain Benjamin having a security camera in this. 

Benjamin shows Sherlock and Irene security footage Sherlock: is that how I walk? Irene: yes Sherlock: should I change it? Irene: yes

Ok, so he talked with the queen over tea.... I’m pretty sure they are good pals 

Sherlock has a picture of the queen and him and does an accent of the queen. Yujin: Sherlock no. Sherlock: you're right. I need to work on my queen. See you jail, Moriarty!

Just a fun moment with Irene. Honestly, Irene and Yujin friendship is something I need

Yujin: what is your first reaction when you see a man? Irene; the audacity

Honestly, I think Lupin and Mycroft would be... frenemies with Sherlock. 

Sherlock: I keep saying things I regret Yujin/Mycroft/Lupin: then stop talking Sherlock -pulls out a mega phone- ha ha ha! no!

Jealous Sherlock? Yes! 

Sherlock: it is so weird Irene dated that man Yujin: why do you care so much? Sherlock: I don't but I'm better!

Marriage moments! 

There is an unopened box. Sherlock and Irene both want to open it. Sherlock: i shall open it! Irene: I'm opening it! -twists his arm as he screams-

Irene: Sherlock.... Sherlock: oh no, Sherlock in b flat, you're disappointed in me

Irene: Sherlock do you want us to get married in a place that gives out restraining orders? Sherlock -holds her hands and doesn't even look away- Irene Adler I will marry you any time, any place. I will marry you in the filth of the backstreets of England

Sherlock: ah my pregnant wife taking charge! I don't know if I should be proud or turned on! Irene: I said do it! Sherlock: ah it's both!

Huh.... I find my lack of Ryunosuke disturbing... I’ll be sure to fix that next time. 

[keepthyfaithandthylight]

Frev people as videos in my “memes playlist”:

(This is more like a compilation of incorrect quotes)

Marat: [walks into industrial cooler]

Danton: “we’re seeing if the cooler is sound proof.”

Marat: [screams]

Danton: [wheezing]

Desmoulins (over an unconscious man): “ha, look at the buns on that guy-“

Saint Just: [kicks down the door] “this is the comedy police the joke’s too funny.”

Desmoulins, pulling out a gun: “I’m nOT GOING BACK TO JAIL-“

Saint Just: “how does it feel to be the worst cop ever huh?”

Desmoulins: “shut up your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos.”

Saint Just: “you fucking take that back-“

Charlotte Robespierre: “how to deeply annoy your brothers. Harmonica, vacuum.” [horrendous high pitched harmonica noise]

Maximilien and Augustin: [screaming]

Robespierre: “aww, pigeonnOOO-“

[in a meeting]

Robespierre: [filming]

Danton: [dramatically roller skate dancing to Billie Jean by Michael Jackson]

Saint Just: [slowly skates up with a lobster in a bucket]

Robespierre and Desmoulins: “me and Michael woah wooooah, solid as they come, wöæo-“

Marat: “if you accept that the definition of a word is some letters surrounded by a gap, then xnopyt [screams]”

Desmoulins: “let me, I’m a doctor. Not really but I have a gun-“

Someone: [laughs]

Danton: “alright let’s see what my genetic.. let’s see let’s see. Chamoleon. The fuck is this??? [weird dog barking sound thing??]”

Saint Just, at the dinner table: “take away the bread, cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise and what have you got.”

Everyone else: “…”

Saint Just: “a fax machine.”

(Will update when I find more videos.) (this is the most inaccurate thing I have posted. Do not take this seriously at all. It is late. My brain cells are no longer able to be controlled. Now is the hour when if they bump into each other as they float through the abyss of my mind I have a thought. Please come back for coherent and serious posts in 3-5 business days, or more accurately, 10 hours.)

[tanadrin]

@bpd-anon:

I think I agree on some points and disagree on others but mostly I would love an expansion of this part: "I don’t think he actually understands fantasy as a set of generic conventions as well as he thinks he does." Can you explain the parts that he is misunderstanding and what true understanding looks like?  

For some context, I have never seen GOT. I read the first book and it's tied for my favorite book ever but then college and its stress hit and I mostly stopped reading (same reason Blindsight is another favorite book ever but I haven't read Echopraxia). I mostly read science fiction books and I haven't even read the all-important LOTR (mainly because I hear there isn't any moral greyness, sounds boring). 

Martin has said things like this:

“I admire Tolkien greatly. His books had enormous influence on me. And the trope that he sort of established—the idea of the Dark Lord and his Evil Minions—in the hands of lesser writers over the years and decades has not served the genre well. It has been beaten to death. The battle of good and evil is a great subject for any book and certainly for a fantasy book, but I think ultimately the battle between good and evil is weighed within the individual human heart and not necessarily between an army of people dressed in white and an army of people dressed in black. When I look at the world, I see that most real living breathing human beings are grey.”     

“Ruling is hard. This was maybe my answer to Tolkien, whom, as much as I admire him, I do quibble with. Lord of the Rings had a very medieval philosophy: that if the king was a good man, the land would prosper. We look at real history and it’s not that simple. Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?” 

“By the time I got to Mines of Moria I decided this was the greatest book I’d ever read… And then Gandalf dies! I can’t explain the impact that had on me at 13. You can’t kill Gandalf… Tolkien just broke that rule, and I’ll love him forever for it. The minute you kill Gandalf, the suspense of everything that follows is 1,000 times greater. Because now anybody could die. Of course, it’s had a profound effect on my own willingness to kill characters at the drop of a hat.” 

Taken together, Martin is one of the people I’m thinking most of when I say things like “nobody reads Tolkien, only their caricatures of Tolkien.” About the only thing I can say for him is that he’s right on Tolkien being about an external battle of Good versus Evil a lot of the time; though for my part, Martin’s world doesn’t come off so much as Gray versus Gray as Evil versus Evil, and a lot of what he seems to take for “moral ambiguity” to me is perfectly unambiguous: they’re all (or mostly) villains, doing villainy things to each other. Sometimes for quite human reasons; but the best villains have comprehensible motivations beyond pure evil. Doesn’t make them not villains.

First of all, he’s simply nakedly incorrect that Tolkien never considered the difficulties of rule, or never looked at the practical aspects of his worldbuilding. They don’t come in much for emphasis, but they’re absolutely there (most notably in the scenes set in Minas Tirith, in the run-up to the Battle of the Pelennor Fields), and indeed the moral nature of the Orcs, and therefore the correct stance to take toward them, was of deep concern to him, and subject to a lot of later revision as he struggled with the idea of what we would now refer to as an Always Chaotic Evil fantasy race.

Tolkien certainly critically interrogates the morality and moral authority of rulership. In the Silmarillion, he has plenty of figures who cut heroic profiles but make bad (or at least ambiguous) kings, with much resulting conflict; and indeed, that ambivalence is something he’s in part borrowing from his medieval sources! To say that the medievals had a totally black-and-white view of kingship is to betray a lack of familiarity with actual medieval writers, who even (especially?) in the Early Middle Ages are adept at portraying leaders with powerful qualities that turn against them in the wrong situation. Beorhtnoth, the heroes of Njal’s Saga, and Beowulf would have all been extremely familiar to Tolkien, and are good examples I think. Tolkien absolutely understood that people come in shades of gray, and there are various admixtures of light and dark in almost all his characters. Even Frodo for Chrissakes puts on the Ring at the end--and Gollum redeems him. Like, come on! That’s one of the most memorable parts of the main trilogy! But from Galadriel right down to the Sackville-Bagginses, Tolkien is intensely conscious of the moral complexity of everybody in his stories, he just doesn’t need them to say “fuck” in order to express that.

What Martin seems to have confused for Tolkien is, like, the semi-mythic style of Arthurian romance (which... is still not always super black and white?), which is only a small part of the generic conventions Tolkien is drawing on. Tolkien is much more steeped in the conventions of the realist novel, with its penchant for psychological complexity, even as he’s borrowing the setpieces of older literature. I think that’s important because it’s what marks Tolkien out as a fundamentally modern writer, despite his sources; yet people skate over this and like to pretend he was some kind of reverse Connecticut Yankee who stumbled out of the 13th century with medieval sensibilities intact. Which is... weird.

The quote about Gandalf is especially telling. Gandalf’s death happens for extremely clear structural reasons: it provides a climax to Book II (if you’ve never read LOTR: each volume is divided into two “books”; the three-volume split was a post-writing publication decision, LOTR was originally written as a single continuous unit, and the “books” are like mega-chapters), much like, but stronger than, the Flight to the Ford at the end of Book I; it sets up the sojurn in Lorien (recovering from the trauma of the loss of their nominal leader); it helps the narrative transition from the low-stakes, bucolic setting of everything west of the Misty Mountains to the high-stakes dangers of the rest of the story; and it serves the conclusion of the story because without Gandalf’s sacrifice (plus many other events), the Ring never would have made it to Mount Doom. Also, not to put too fine a point on it, but Gandalf comes back, in a way that feels sensible within the world Tolkien has built, and which sets up further development of both the main plot and the the themes Tolkien is concerned with.

If Martin had written Lord of the Rings, Gandalf would have died to a random Orc arrow, would never have come back, and the Ring wouldn’t have made it to Mount Doom at all. And you’d be left feeling like Gandalf dies for basically no reason--and you’d be right. The suspense in Lord of the Rings doesn’t come from wondering who will die (the only major named characters who die permanently are Boromir and Gollum; both similarly serve important thematic and plot functions when they do, but by Martin’s standard, Tolkien isn’t even trying), or wondering how things will turn out--does anyone ever doubt that the good guys will win?--it comes from seeing how they get there, from wanting to experience the emotional and narrative beats of the story, wanting to see the narrative logic being brought to its conclusion. It’s why it’s a good story even if you know the ending! And all of Tolkien’s work is like that: a well-constructed narrative that is perennially satisfying is far better than a one-off surprise that can never be repeated. That’s a mistake a lot of modern media is making right now, which the rise of undue emphasis on spoilers isn’t doing anything to reduce.

More generally: there’s nothing wrong with high fantasy externalizing the conflict between good and evil. That is in fact one of its functions, as a kind of moral metaphor or moral proving ground in the same way that, say, science fiction often serves as moral and philosophical proving ground for ideas around technology or exploration or the alien. It’s not obligatory, but to cite that as an insufficiency of any work in the genre is to fail to understand the genre. Tolkien specifically provides some arch moral figures (Morgoth, Sauron, Manwe, Aragorn), but he also provides some much more mixed ones: Denethor, Saruman, Grima Wormtongue, Boromir, Gollum, etc. (also Thorin, Feanor and his sons, and in fact just like a huge chunk of the cast of the Silmarillion in general), and gives his characters plenty of opportunity to reflect that, even in a conflict with a literal evil spirit, there is room for ambiguity (cf. Sam’s meditation on the Haradrim in Ithilien). And the sum total of the effect in Tolkien’s work is that it actually feels like something is at stake. I don’t feel like that in Martin’s world. I feel like if the Night King were just to destroy all of Westeros that would make as much sense and be about as satisfying as any other outcome, because there’s nothing that feels especially worth preserving there.

In discarding everything about both the moral and narrative structure of high fantasy, Martin’s world leaves nothing for one to hang one’s hat on, nothing to use as a fixed point of reference when it comes to orienting yourself in it; he is writing a critique against many things, perhaps, but not an argument for anything. The result leaves me quite cold.

[thiefking]

What's the Two Looker theory?

the tldr version is that there are currently two lookers existing in the same universe, and that its going to be very relevant very soon.

but of course, that shortened version is worthless, because who would believe that without enthusiastic and lengthy elaboration? GET YOUR SEATBELTS ON CAUSE ITS TIME TO TALK POKEMON THEORY

(spoiler warning for sumo postgame ahead! also, seriously, you might want to go get a snack or something. this is long. really long.)

first up: you gotta know that gens 1-5 (and the remakes in those gens) are all in a separate but similar universe to the one in gen 6 and beyond. for convenience, ill call the first universe uni a and the second one uni b. 

(fyi most people refer to uni b as megaverse, but i want the names to match and nonmegaverse doesnt really... roll off the tongue quite as well, so,)

so you might be wondering what the fuck that means and how we know its true; to answer this we need to take a quick look at pokemons current timeline!

im unsure on which one of them came before the other in the timeline, but xy and oras both happen chronologically before sun and moon do. we know this because of dexio and sina appearing with the zygarde and mega evolution stuff, and wally appears at the battle tree as an older and more experienced trainer. 

these are canon, however for right now its mostly just hypothesis that chronologically speaking, after alola its sinnoh. the pkmn breeders from alola look IDENTICAL to the cowgirls/farmers from sinnoh, which doesnt seem to prove much about the order of things but it doesnt disprove anything either; its more like retrospective icing on the cake, since ill be explaining why i think this will be the timeline later on.

so, keep the idea of sinnoh coming after alola in mind. its also important to consider the idea of mega evolution as not just a game mechanic but an important plot point! basically, universe a has no mega evolution, while universe b does, and the differences in the plot between rse and oras are NOT retcons; theyre entirely different universes!

that might not look like it makes much sense on its own (without elaboration or if youre still attached to the belief that mega evo is JUST a game mechanic and not plot relevant or an indicator of anything) but its important to mention now, since as i explain more itll hopefully make more and more sense. 

believing this theory means you have to think about it like this, so while this isnt completely canon yet, its necessary to treat it like it is until you fully understand what this theory is all about and why it would make sense. if youre not convinced afterwards, then so be it! ... i mean, i dont understand how you WOULDNT be totally on board with this, but im not you and maybe youre not quite nearly as into spacetime shenanigans as i am.

now we head into sumos postgame stuff with the interpol! during this, we learn that there are people known as “fallers” that “fell” into a universe from another parallel universe through a mysterious portal, and seem to have lost most if not all of their memories. fallers attract ultra beasts, as the ubs believe they can somehow get home using them, sensing that this person is also not from this universe. 

looker explains that he was once sent on a mission to detain/kill an ultra beast. his team included a faller, who was unwittingly being used as bait for the ultra beast. looker felt pity for the ub and neglected to kill it, unfortunately giving the ub a chance to kill the faller, which it promptly took.

then its revealed that anabel is a faller, who was found washed up on a beach muttering something about protecting the battle tower, which is where you could find her in rse. 

but see, the battle tower doesnt exist in oras, instead replaced by the battle resort, and you do not meet anabel at any point in oras. the battle resort is also where you meet an amnesiac looker, muttering about a mission, speaking in a peculiar way, which is noticeably different to the way he speaks in xy and sumo. he did not make an appearance in rse, this isnt just reused dialogue.

hmmmmmmmm.

lets put looker aside for a moment though and focus on anabel. while theres a possibility that right now there are two anabels, it seems that she and the battle tower never existed in this universe... but mega evolution does. the anabel we see in rse is the same as the one in sumo; she crossed over from uni a into uni b.

now, lets look at some facts here!

in platinum, bw and oras, looker has a... peculiar speech pattern. if you look up his quotes on bulbapedia, youll see what i mean; its very noticeable.

... looker completely lacks that specific quirk in xy and sumo. hes goofy, yes, but its nowhere near the same. its important to note that oras happens between xy and sumo, and again, that looker didnt show up in rse and that dialogue is completely new. the differences in these speaking patterns are not mistakes. they are fully intentional.

next up: lets crush a few doubts about this theory you might be having right now!

“this is a kids game! surely this is WAY too convoluted. pokemon isnt that deep, they wouldnt bother with a plot this complicated.” wrong. nope. incorrect. buddy, did you play sumo or any gen 5 game? i can only assume you havent, cause not only were the plots in those games the most detailed and involved and emotional, they were BY FAR the best. additionally, kids are a lot smarter than youd think, and i also not only know theyre going to explain everything, i know HOW theyll do it; but i digress.

“youre implying there are two lookers because one speaks a certain way and had amnesia but isnt it possible theres just one, who either isnt a faller or is a faller but had no megaverse/uni b equivalent, and he got his memories back by the time you meet him in sumo?” wrong there too! remember, its CANON that xy and oras happen BEFORE sumo.

now remember anabel, who doesnt have her memories back and had no idea she was a faller.

and remember that xy/sumo looker is very, very explicitly stated to not be a faller, because otherwise, HE would have been the bait on that mission and HE would have been the one who got killed.

xy/sumo looker is definitely not a faller.

but dppt/bw/oras looker is.

if at this point youre still having doubts, heres a question. can you offer any other explanation that is all based on canon information, without retconning anything or making something up, and have it all make perfect sense and resolve all of the issues that come with going against this theory?

yeah, i cant either.

hopefully at this point you should be fairly convinced, but hold on! i still havent explained why i think sumo will chronologically happen before the plot in the dppt remakes! i was all like “this will make sense later” but i didnt talk about sinnoh much at all and havent completely gotten you on board with this yet! well guess what yall ITS SINNOH TIME

a quick note though: past this point is a lot of personal observation/opinion and speculation. its meant to explain why i think this theory is spot-on, and elaborate on what i think is going to happen. im not speaking for anyone else but myself and im not stating my own opinions as fact or concrete proof; though i am saying that i think im right about this.

with that out of the way, lets begin! its going to take a while, but the buildup is necessary (imo at least) and yes, this is in fact relevant to the theory.

something to notice is that the stories in pokemon games have been progressively getting more involved and interesting. there was hardly anything in the first two, gen 3 started getting more involved but its not much to write home about, gen 4 took it up a notch, and then gen 5 the life ruiner broke the fucking scale and punched me in the face.

so, we have all these plots, getting more detailed, but... not a whole lot is tying them together at first. sure, a few lines make reference to other games, johto and kanto are connected both plotwise and literally speaking, theres even that cameo character in bw who was a rocket grunt in a previous game! but theres nothing really significant that ties things together.

well, at least until gen 4.

in gen 4, we of course meet looker, who as a member of the interpol has reason to make further appearances in other games. and then he shows up in every game afterwards, sometimes for a while, sometimes only briefly. less significantly but it does help the point im about to make, we also get caitlins first appearance, who ends up being part of unovas elite 4, and johto is a part of gen 4 as well, which was already a point of connection between regions, but gen 4 added the sinjoh ruins, connecting the games within the same gen!

after gen 4, the games vary in how much they connect to the others, but it definitely changed the standard.

and then sun and moon came out.

even the very start of the game: you move from kanto to alola, meet alolan variations of kantonian pokemon, meet grimsley and colress from bw/bw2, meet dexio and sina from xy, and watch sadly as lillie breaks everyones heart and leaves for kanto.

then, after that, you can go to the battle tree and meet not only red and green, but cynthia, steven, and wally, and you can find grimsley, colress, dexio and sina here too. or, you can go participate in the postgame plot with looker and anabel, who are also returning characters; though anabel is significantly more unexpected than looker. it was pretty unexpected finding out caitlin was part of unovas elite four, huh?

and hey, didnt sinnoh have a lot of weird space/time shit? palkia and dialga are the gods of time and space, and giratina has a whole other dimension where everything seems wrong and alien and mildly uncomfortable, with a strange area theme that seems just slightly off, where you meet/battle the games biggest antagonist, who has become mentally unhinged by spending time there.

oh... and alola has fallers and ultra beasts, who came from other timelines/universes... and you go into ultra space, which is a whole other dimension where everything seems wrong and alien and mildly uncomfortable, with a strange area theme that seems just slightly off, where you meet/battle the games biggest antagonist, who has become mentally unhinged by spending time there.

plus, gen 4 is the first where you can at any point walk around with your pokemon behind you, making you feel closer to your pokemon than ever, and alola shows a significantly stronger connection between humans and pokemon than ever seen before, even compared to xys introduction of pokemon amie (the trials, ride pokemon, the fact that humans are specifically stated to have influenced several alolan variations, z moves, the ceremony for choosing your starter, everything about the aether foundation/type: null, if you consider ultra beasts pokemon then lusamines a very literal example, there are LOADS of examples)

... and diamond and pearl are next up for remakes.

in gen 7.

paired with alola.

i wonder if the two games are going to be EXTREMELY connected?

personally im willing to bet that the distortion world IS ultra space, i think itd make a lot of sense of cyrus knew what happened in alola and became interested because of it, and that team galactic will be pursuing ultra beasts (which there will likely be more of). 

i also think uni a!looker and uni b!looker are going to meet.

imagine with me for a moment.

diamond and pearl remakes come out. you enter jubilife city, where you meet looker! you have a conversation, he introduces himself, then disappears. 

you move on, and-- oh! theres looker again! you say hello, but he strangely doesnt recognize you and introduces himself again. ... odd.

you see him again. he recognizes you and references your first conversation, but doesnt seem to know anything about your second.

a fourth meeting. once again, he doesnt remember your previous conversation, and also seems to be doing something entirely different, and... hell, he doesnt even SOUND the same...

now, after a while of this, hes realizing somethings up. hes a fucking member of the interpol, hes goofy but hes not an idiot. he guesses that he has an impostor, and begins searching for this impostor so he can confront/apprehend them.

sometime later, maybe in the postgame, maybe in the maingame, you meet him again and have a short chat, when hes suddenly interrupted by a phone call. he hangs up and informs you that someone spotted his impostor, and speeds off to go deal with this. he doesnt tell you where hes going, but he didnt need to; you can easily guess from the phone call that you should head to jubilife city.

there, you see two lookers arguing with each other, and loads of shenanigans ensue because looker is so goofy and endearing theres no way its not going to be hilarious and silly at first; but then when everything calms down, shit gets serious, and anabel ends up showing up.

im willing to bet shes going to feel some kind of connection to uni a!looker; nothing specific, just an odd, unidentifiable feeling that... ah, it eludes her. strange indeed that he seems to also feel... something, that he cant identify at all; he just knows its there. is it... kinship of some kind? but that wouldnt make sense, theyre both certain theyve never met, and theyre certainly not related. how curious!

of course, that only remains a mystery until they figure out this other looker is a faller, and everything starts simultaneously making more and less sense.

of course thats all just my own prediction for how itll happen, but i dont think im far off base at all and i think itd be completely in line with both lookers character and how pokemon games operate.

now, a lot of people believe that this theory means one of the lookers has to die, and to that i say what. no. look, that “there can be only one” shit is completely unnecessary and i REALLY doubt that theyre going to kill off a looker, especially considering how much everyones grown to like him (or at least everyone ive ever spoken to who knows who he is. seriously, hes too lovable for this.)

instead, i think the following will happen!

1) the lookers partner up and work together (and tell people theyre just twins)

2) they find a way to send uni a!looker back to universe a, or somehow create a way to communicate/travel between universes

3) we learn more about what happened in universe a, and why both anabel and looker were mumbling vague things about urgent missions when they were found washed up on beaches

im not sure that all of these will happen in the same game (in fact i highly doubt it) but it seems like the logical progression of things. 

i think im out of things to say so there you go! thats the two looker theory and how i think itll play out in canon! there are likely a few things im missing, but im fairly certain the information i provided isnt incorrect, just possibly incomplete (sure hope not though cause ive been writing this response for no joke four hours straight). hope it helped and also converted you to the two looker theory club, or the tltc. if you join you get a free croagunk sticker and also a heart-shaped locket with a picture of looker in it if you dont already have your own

[meg-a-weird-writing]

Ollie: What’s wrong with you?

Meg: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

[meg-a-weird-writing]

Faye: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Sammy: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Sandy: Tackle him.

Bella: Dump him.

Audrey Felicity: Kick him in the shin.

Lou: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

[meg-a-weird-writing]

Jaime: Good morning, cruel world.

Kelly: Don’t you mean goodbye?

Jaime: No, I meant good morning. This world may be cruel but I’m still kickin’.

[meg-a-weird-writing]

Lou: Well, I googled ‘I hate Ellis Porter’ and got over 4 million results.