Incorrect CoD Quotes #9
Price: There’s something wrong with the kid.
Laswell: Like what?
Price: *holds up a photo of a spider*
Roach: Ew.
Price: *holds up a photo of a cockroach*
Roach: Me.
Price: *holds up a photo of a lady bug*
Roach: *tips his helmet* Evening, ma’am.
Price: You see what I mean?
———
Roach: *sneaks into the barracks at 2am*
Price: *turns in a swivel chair* Care to to tell me where you were?
Roach: I was with… uh… Ghost!
Ghost: *also turns in swivel chair* Care to tr- *keeps spinning* uh Boss- I can’t stop the chair-
Roach: I meant… I was with Garrick.
Gaz: *turns on the light* Honestly Sanderson, you would think Roach would know how to be sneakier.
Roach:
———
Price, walking in: The training grounds are closed because of the ice storm.
Soap: Great! No training!
Soap: *looks out the window* Is Ghost still walking to the training grounds?
Soap: *opens window* HEY DIPSHIT, TRAINING’S CANCELLED!
Ghost: *looks around, confused* GOD?!
———
Ghost: Remember what I taught you.
Farah: The quickest way to a man’s heart is through the fourth and fifth ribs.
Alex: Ghost no!
———
Ghost: *can’t sleep because of nightmares*
Ghost: Listen to your therapist they said.
Ghost: You’ve been through a lot of trauma they said.
Ghost: *throws pillow* WELL YOUR BREATHING EXERCISES AREN’T WORKING NOW, ARE THEY DEBORAH!!
———
Rudy: I have a bad feeling about this.
Alejandro: What do you mean?
Rudy: Don’t you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if something will get you into trouble?
Alejandro: No?
Rudy: That actually explains so much.
(This could work between Rudy and Soap too, honestly).
———
Nikolai: Physically I’m here but spiritually I’m lying in a Waffle House parking lot somewhere in rural Kentucky, slowly bleeding out from several stab wounds.
Sherlock: Mood.
———
Roach: I want to be a caterpillar.
Sherlock: Explain?
Roach: Eat a lot, sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.
Sherlock: You know that they have a lifespan of, like, two weeks right?
Roach: That’s another highlight.
Soap: ROACH NO-
———
Sherlock: How do people just stay motivated their entire lives? What drives you? I got out of bed once and I’ve been exhausted ever since.
Ghost: You need to learn to hate life to the point where you want revenge on existence itself.
The rest of the 141:
Nikolai: *nods in agreement*
Roach: *furiously takes notes*
———
Soap: Is e seo do choire gu lèir.
Ghost: I know, I know.
Gaz: You know Gaelic??
Ghost: No, I just know the phrase “this is all your fault” in every language he speaks.
———
Roach: Sleeping is nice because you’re not exactly dead and you’re not awake so it’s a win-win situation.
Sherlock: It’s like being dead without the commitment.
Nikolai: An open relationship with death.
Farah: Death with benefits.
Ghost: An every night stand.
Meanwhile, everyone else in the background: *absolutely horrified*
———
*1am at 141 base*
Soap: If I drink Red Bull and NyQuil will I stay up or pass out?
Ghost: …Get off the fridge and go to bed like a normal human being.
*Later*
Ghost: SHERLOCK I HAVE A QUESTION!
Sherlock: Ghost what the fuck it’s 3am.
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