#Not sure if I want Chuck to show up at some point and create drama

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I love jack so so much he's perfect but tbh I do think it would've worked much more with the show if he was a destiel baby instead of lucifer's. and I'm not just saying that as a shipper or whatever I mean narratively it would've been a lot cleaner- and actually, I think it would've been super funny to no-homo them creating a baby together, like, literally all they would have to do is say "oh, when cas rebuilt dean after hell he accidentally left some grace tangled in his soul, and every time he's healed him since then it's been growing stronger until a nephilim was born". like yes the studio is homophibic etc etc but all the jokes they'd make about dean being spiritually pregnant would be very funny for me personally.

but ANYWAY, jack's story gets messy and convoluted and I think this would've been like...a simple fix. them worrying about him going dark side could be because they're worried how demon!dean and lucifer!cas affected him in development, the show LOVES bloodline drama, chuck's wanting abraham and issac 2.0 would've worked better this way, dean's storyline with him would be improved, bc rather than 'oh no I slowly but surely emotionally adopted the antichrist' like I think he would've had an easier time clocking his john-behavoir if it wasn't a question whether he was jack's dad or not. plus last time dean actively raised a kid he went to great lengths to keep the supernatural away from him, so it'd be interesting to see how he handles a kid he CANT possibly hide from this part of his life. it would make more sense why michael wanted jack as a vessel- yes obviously he wanted the nephilim power boost but also having him as part of the winchester bloodline, making him a PERFECT vessel he doesn't have to worry about burning up would add a lot. we could also use this argument for why lucifer is so interested in him if anyone actually liked that plotline in season 14 lmao. we know chuck hated cas and dean's relationship, could you imagine if he checked in and found out they made an unauthorized baby together💀 like that really would've given better context for why he hates jack so much. cas wouldn't need that whole weird brainwashing arc to wanna protect unborn jack, PLUS it could've been an interesting source of angst for him- he feels like he's failed once again, creating an abomination and putting dean in danger, but also still loves jack immensely. it'd be so good! also imagine how fucking stressed out heaven would be to find out a mini castiel is on the way. they wouldn't even wanna exploit that kid for power they'd be preemptively treating the headaches they know they're gonna get lmfao.

also. the casting directors literally put jensen and misha into a face morph app and cast the first actor they could find that matched the results. which would've made more sense if,,,,he was just Theirs. the comedy of dean and cas making a baby before either of them managed to admit their feelings to each other would be more fun then the "dude adopted a kid and pawns him off on his unwilling roommate's all the time and they eventually warm up to the kid" storyline we actually got. we also could've replaced some of the jack-dean angst from the show with "dean wants to connect more with jack but he feels shut out whenever cas is around bc he can't relate to any angel stuff so obviously jack's going to cas for help more!", which I think would be interesting!! how AWFUL dean and cas would feel that jack didn't feel safe enough to be a baby. dad!sam is still in full swing but he cares for jack right off the bat instead of trying to use him for his powers at first. lily sunder talking about how cas killed her kid bc he thought it was a nephilim and dean, who's already fully aware he's (spiritually) knocked up by cas is like 👹 inch resting cas-tee-elle tell me more. mary having a 'my baby has a baby' crisis. cas insisting jack looks nothing like him is a running joke but then at some point he explains its bc jack's 'true form' looks just like dean's soul....

ALSO- in a show where, canonically, the very first act of free will was cas falling in love with dean...the physical manifestation of that defeating chuck and taking his place as god? come ON.

[bublucey]

Reflection and Evaluation 

The Key areas I have explored in my work are British history and culture. I have always had a keen interest in these topics and have involved this in my work from the very beginning. Some less known British historic figures have been the subject of painting I have done, and the social use of alcohol has been a strong influence on me and creating work around that. I have looked at Hogarth a lot as inspiration and to see how he depicted two of his strongest images, Gin Lane, and Beer Ally as well as Thomas Moore a young illustrator from north London that uses London as his muse and mimicked Hoggarths Gin Lane. 

So, I researched characters in history like old bare-knuckle fighters such as Issac Bitton in the past who lived in the 1800’s and actually became a celebrity bodyguard working for the prince of the time. But I looked deeply into pub culture during the buildup to my Major project and tried to remember my youth when British culture and pub culture was very traditional. I looked up laws around pubs and found out the to this day it is actually illegal to be drunk in a pub and a £200 fine. This is what gives the landlord the privilege of chucking someone out when too intoxicated and the right to not serve. I guess y question has always been can I show my interest and get others interested through my work? I use illustrations and installations to create the atmosphere with artifacts smells and sound so that the audience will feel what I am trying to portray. I have experimented with painting and installation, and I have found installation to be my strong point. 

I recorded my work by photographs and notes, lists mainly. I am a fan of lists and keeping organised although the end project and hand ins did seem to snowball and creep up on me. I did not hand in some photos of me building my bar of the lists and notes taken through the year, so I was a bit disappointed in that.  

My plan was to document the use of alcohol in its culture and create a pub set. The deadline was the same for everyone and I did not feel I had enough time to pull it off. I did not have a budget, but I had an idea when I felt that I had spent enough due to my funds. I got moist of the furniture for free as a pub I found was having a makeover and I built the bar myself. Not the best built thing but it looks the part, I think. I could get a fix in the old stone walls of the univocity had problems putting up shelves, this was my major problem, but I did try my best to overcome it buy using adhesives. The overall look of the place and the atmophere did work out, I think. I will leave it to the feedback now. 

I learned aloy about myself in the final year. I experimented in the previous year and realized my strong points this year. I am an illustrator, and I am an installation artist. I now have a path in mind to move onto that I was not clear about before. So, my next step is to try and document my final installation as best I can and send it to set design companies as I am now a set designer. I would love to do this for period dramas or movies. It feels good to know what you want to do finally after spending most of my life knowing I was in the wrong place but never sure where I belonged. I end on a positive note knowing which direction to go in. 

[michaelmilligan]

At some point I need to write a Midam highschool AU where Adam is like 'wow this guy is sooo hot, but he's also a jock. Kinda cringe. :/' And then it turns out that Michael is thee biggest dork who doesn't know how to people and only hangs with the 'cool kids' because they're the only ones who approached him and let him tag along. He's the captain of some sports team (football? volleyball? not sure) but he doesn't even like the sport that much, he just did that because his dad signed him up for that sport at some point and then being good at that was the only thing that Michael was ever praised for by his dad. But at this point his dad is home so rarely that Michael is losing his only motivation to play, so while he could probably get a sports scholarship, he doesn't want it and instead just wants to study economics (thinking that will please his dad).

Anyway, the point of this post was that Adam gets to know him better and goes 'Wait he's hot and a dork?? I'm in love.' And Michael, who has never dated anyone who was actually interested in him outside of his looks and him being the [insert sports team here] captain, goes 'What do you mean you like me for my personality??? Error 404, site not found.' But then he's soooo happy, because Adam actually likes him. :) And he's also a little dorky and they can be dorks together. :) And yeah, the other 'cool kids' don't get wtf is going on, but they suck anyway and Michael doesn't care about their opinion, so he just walks around school with heart eyes and carries Adam's books for him and is soooo doting. No one can understand what happened because wasn't this guy kind of a brooding, loner type of person?? (No one realized he was just shitty at approaching/talking to people and all it needed was someone to be a safe haven where he could say what he wanted without being reprimanded or ridiculed. The 'cool kids' hung out with him, but he barely talked to them either because they were so fucking judgy about everyone else he didn't dare say much because they were the only ones who he thought 'tolerated' him and he didn't want to fuck that up. Now he has Adam though, AND Adam's friends who are also dorky and fun.)

So yeah, I just think they're neat and they should get a highschool AU.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

innocence - 24

PAIRING: bodyguard!bucky barnes x innocent actress!reader

WARNINGS: none

A/N: i took three weeks to post, i am very sorry but i’ll now be posting the holiday chapters i was supposed to but i got lost in eating mince pies. hope you enjoy xx

NEXT CHAPTER

   - Bucky, what are you doing? - Y/N smirked as she returned from set, still dressed in a scandalous dress covered by a beige rain coat. Small droplets of water covered the beige waterproof fabric which rolled onto the ground as she made her way further into the small flat. 

Bucky was sat in bed, looking at a pile of clothing thrown next to an open old military green rucksack by his feet. A few worn out brown leathered tags we attached to one of the handles and had she been wearing her glasses, she could’ve probably guessed what it was written on them. The brown haired man rose his head at the mention of his name, eyes widening at what she was wearing. He was used to seeing her in tight, revealing dresses but this dress was something else and he wondered how she could walk with such a skin tight garment. 

    - I’m just deciding what to pack. - he shrugged, trying to forget about the dress his girlfriend was wearing. 

   - Just pack warm. - she sat next to him, leaning her head against his shoulder, an immediate smile extending in her limps. - Mum said it might snow. Can you imagine, a white Christmas?

   - Did they give you a bad time on set?

A bad time? A bad time was an understatement. She had gotten an earful from everyone who passed by her that day from her manager to her personal assistant to even Mr. Hayworth who just screamed about how stupid she was. Even half the cast was upset, not enjoying the publicity it would bring to the movie and while she would normally end up crying in her trailer, Chuck ensured to follow her around to make sure she was alright. Yet, none of it matter. It was the last day of shooting before she got to go home to her parents and forget about the mess she had willingly created. It was only a day before she could spend the holidays with someone who chose her and kept choosing her for the first time. It really didn’t matter if she had a bad time, things were starting to look up for her. 

    - Other than the stripper dress? Not as bad. - she giggled. Bucky looked at her, trying to peak through the coat. - I was thinking ... maybe we should have a nice long bath together? I’ll light some candles, get some nice wine from the shop down the street.

    - You little vixen, I still have to go see my sister. If I take a bath with you I will end up staying much more time than I should. - Bucky kissed the side of her face. - Did you wear that dress just to tempt me?

    - I would never. It is not my fault you cannot control yourself. 

    - That dress is staying until I come back, though.

    - I want to come. - she got up from the bed, pulling the dress from her body and grabbing her white jumper and pair of jeans from the wardrobe. - You’re meeting my family, it’s only fair I meet yours.

    - I’ve told you already, princess. We don’t wanna poke the media, they’ll bite us back with no mercy. I don’t want people hurting you because of me.

    - You can’t sneak me into a care home? My, my, Mr. Barnes, I thought you could get anyone into anywhere. Your CV said so.

   - Are you doubting my abilities, princess? - he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closing to him before starting to tickle her sides. - It’ll be boring to you, my princess. Just stay here, put back that tight little dress and I’ll make it worth your time.

   - No way. I’m meeting your sister. 

   - No baby pictures, Y/N. 

   - I would never. - she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hard felt yet soft kiss. - Only childhood stories. 

Bucky rolled his eyes, handing her the jacket and hat as they made their way onto a taxi. Bucky visited his sister a lot but he’d never mentioned Y/N. Not that he didn’t want to, of course he did. In all honesty, he could speak about his girl for as long as someone allowed him. However, Y/N was still a public personality and he wouldn’t want to let something out that she wasn’t comfortable with people knowing. Besides, he knew how much his sister still adored to gossip and he wouldn’t want to possibly hurt Y/N or be the cause. 

She, on the other hand, was excited. She knew Steve and Steve was the oldest of Bucky’s friends but she never thought she would get to meet someone from his family or that he’d even want to introduce her to someone from his family. After all, he was a war hero and Y/N was an actress from a small town in London who everyone seemed to despise at the moment.

The man drove them up to small complex building of what seemed to be newly built flats. Bucky was the first one off the taxi, running up to her side so he could open the door. It always left her feeling like a school girl; the pageantry, it is. She never believed she would find someone and the fact someone rushed to go and open the door for her and held his hand out.

    - Anything you’d like to confess before I ask your sister? - Y/N teased, hugging him side eyes as he led her to the entrance.

    - Do not believe what she says, I did not date too many girls.

    - Steve disagrees with that.

    - How would you know what Steve agrees or disagrees with? 

    - I called him to wish him happy holidays.

    - I didn’t know you and Steve were friendly.

    - Don’t be jealous, love. I’m not stealing your best friend. - Y/N pinched his cheek playfully as the two of them stopped in front of a wooden door with the number 35 in gold numbers pinned to it.

Bucky knocked on the door, announcing himself before holding Y/N once again close to him. He went through his mind, wondering if there was anything Rebecca could tell which would upset her. Sure, he used to be a bit of a womaniser in his youth but Y/N knew that. He hadn’t gotten anyone pregnant, he hadn’t proposed and ran off, he was off the hook. Still, he didn’t like the idea of Becca telling Y/N about his past quests.

Y/N waited patiently until someone held the door. The first thing she noticed were her eyes, the same as Bucky’s and she could recognise them anywhere. The woman had perfectly styled grey hair and a smile on her lips as she recognised her brother.

    - Who is this lovely girl, Buck? You didn’t tell me you’d bring company, I would’ve gotten some biscuits. 

   - This is Y/N, she’s my girlfriend. 

   - Steve told me you were seeing someone, I just didn’t think she’d be this pretty. Come in, come in. - Becca grabbed Y/N away from Bucky leading her to the living room. - What you wanted is in the bedroom, Buck.

   - Behave. - Bucky told his sister before he went into the bedroom to look for what he had come in from. 

   - I have some photos I think you’d love to see, darlin’. - she pointed the couch for Y/N to sit in before waddling to the big mahogany bookcase. She had a huge collection of books from old classics to new contemporary masterpieces which Y/N would love to read someday. The house itself was cozy, way more comfortable than other care homes she’d seen but she guessed Bucky would’ve only allowed for the best for his little sister. - It’s been ages since I’ve seen one of Bucky’s girlfriends. Not that he used to bring them home, but I used to sneak in and take a peak. You’re definitely the prettiest of all of them. 

   - Thank you. - Y/N couldn’t help but feel her cheeks heat up.

   - Ah, there it is. - she dropped a photo album on Y/N’s lap. - My father gave my mother a photo camera and she went crazy with it. Too many photos. However, when Bucky was born, it was a special occasion. Dad used to say she wanted a professional photo taken with her Jamie. 

She pointed at a photo of an woman probably in her early 20s holding a baby wrapped in several blankets, accompanied by a man who Bucky resembled very much. Her fingers traced the face of the baby, a little smile forming on her lips. It was nice to see him like that, normal. No mentions of the Winter Soldier, no pain, none of her constant drama due to her profession.

   - He was the eldest of four and despite what my mother would say, he was always the favourite. The only boy. He got away with whatever he wanted.

   - Bucky has three siblings?

   - Three sisters. Some of them didn’t survive. It was war. - her voice softened with sadness as she turned the page for a photo that Y/N wasn’t expecting to see. The same woman from before, his mother, was hugging a shirtless Bucky who had some boxing gloves on. Her face contorted into curiosity as Bucky exited the room and leaned against the couch, standing next to the two women.

  - What are you two ladies looking at? - Bucky kissed Y/N’s head, putting his hand on her shoulder. 

  - I think Y/N is very curious about your welterweight boxing past.

  - You did boxing?

  - Princess, I was a three-time YMCA Welterweight boxing champion. - Bucky closed the album before any of the photos of him with some of the ladies he used to hang around with showed up. - Becca, we should get going. We have an early flight tomorrow. 

  - You need to bring her more often. - Rebecca got up from the couch to accompany them to the door. - Did you find what you were looking for?

  - Yes, Beccs. Thank you so much for keeping it all these years.

  - Pretty sure mum would come back to haunt me if I hadn’t. Have fun meeting the parents. - she kissed Bucky’s cheek allowing for the two of them to leave. Bucky immediately wrapped his chunky knitted scarf, something his grandma had knitted for him ages ago, around Y/N’s neck, pulling her to his side.

He couldn’t truly remember a time where he was this happy, so full of need to continue living. She really brought him to this sort of weird normality where his past didn’t seem to affect him or at least not as strongly as it usually did. The two walked into grey skies, it was probably going to rain but none of them cared, walking side by side like those couples on Christmas songs. 

   - A boxing champion? 

   - Knock it off, princess. - Bucky helped her into the taxi, telling the driver his address before fastening his seat belt. - It was a long time ago.

   - Do you miss her? - she questioned, leaning her head against his shoulder, watching the horizons run through in blurs. - Your mother. Rebecca said you were the favourite.

   - Rebecca is always saying that. - he scoffed. - I do miss her. She was a swell lady, always caring about us, not complaining whenever she had to travel around because of my father. She was the best mother someone could’ve asked for. She would’ve liked you.

   - You think so?

   - I know so. Dad would’ve liked you too so would aunt Ida. Of course there’s still my nephews and nieces and their kids, but they don’t really want to speak with me ... - she didn’t need to ask why, she could see it in his eyes why and it made her sad. It made her sad to think of his family not wanting to be with him, specially during the holidays. - But I’ve had Rebecca and Steve for all these years. They’re my family and now I have you.

    - Well, I can’t promise my family will like you but they’ll definitely found the fact I have a boyfriend amusing. 

   - You mean to tell me I don’t have any ex boyfriends I’ll have to fight once we get to London?

   - That’s just unfair, Bucky. You’re a three-time boxing champion. 

   - You’ll never let that one go will you?

   - Nope. Dating a three-time boxing champion is a new identity I can get used to. 

taglist: @disasterbii @lookiamtrying @buckysteveloki-me @americasass81 @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @lostinthebeans @mariahthelioness29 @buckyandsebastian @peaches-roses-sins @theadorasabditory @sipsteacasually @saiyanprincessswanie @booktease21 @noiralei @learisa @everythingisoverratedbutgreat @uglipotata72829 @naturalthrone22 @husherstan @mandiiblanche @vicmc624 @newyorkgoddess @itsallyscorner @chipilerendi @emzd34 @writerwrites @bluevxnus @that-girl-named-alex @captnrogers @nsfwsebbie @sarge-barnes-sir​

[norahastuff]

Damn that was a good episode. To me it’s felt like there’s been this great sense of dread hanging over this last stretch of episodes, and in an odd way it’s almost a relief to have it brought to the forefront like this.

I think many of us knew that following Billie’s plan was not going to work out. She’s just another cosmic being, a greater power and thus her priorities were always going to lie elsewhere. Chuck’s motivated by the desire for power and by his ego and narcissism. For Billie it’s about rules and order. They see humanity as inconsequential or perhaps in Billie’s case, an afterthought. Hence why following her plan was never going to work. The importance of humanity - the idea that each human matters and is worth something - as well as free will are the two main themes this show is built on. It will take someone who loves humanity and values free will to be able to fix this.

We’ve known that Chuck’s been orchestrating things, but I found it interesting to see how exactly he’d been doing that. This season has put a lot of focus on Dean’s anger. Dean had it drilled into him since he was a child that he was not allowed to be weak, that he had to be the strong one. This resulted in him gravitating towards other unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to survive, and when whiskey and denial weren’t enough, he used anger. He cloaked his fear, sadness and confusion under layers of rage because he didn’t know how else to confront these feelings.

Chuck knows this about Dean, but he also has a very surface level read on Dean and who he really is. Sure he can use Dean’s anger to manipulate him, but that’s not all Dean is. We’ve seen from his tearful prayer to Cas earlier this season:

“I don't know why I get so angry. I just know…I know that it’s- it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just…it comes out. And I can't -I can't stop it. No matter how - how bad I want to, I just can't stop it.”

Underneath the anger, there’s pain and vulnerability, and when Dean allows himself to feel those things and be honest with himself that’s something Chuck doesn’t really understand, and that’s when Dean becomes unpredictable. Chuck’s relying on the versions of his characters that he created, not really getting that they go deeper than that now.

The ultimate example of this is Cas. Cas seemed to exist around the periphery this week, but honestly that’s exactly what I would have expected in an episode that was about the main characters in Chuck’s book. Cas wasn’t supposed to play a major role in any of this. Sam and Dean were. Amara was. Jack had the biggest role of all, but Cas wasn’t supposed to be in this story, and Chuck once again confirms he was never supposed to be in any of the stories.

Cas defecting was the one wild card that led to all the dominoes falling back in season 4 (ok yes I’m mixing metaphors but you get my point.) That made him an interesting toy for a while. Wind him up and watch him go. I found Chuck repeating Cas’ greatest one liner hilarious. He had such contempt in his voice and I think he was partly annoyed he could never write a line as epic as the one Cas effortlessly came up with. Actually Michael mocked that line last season too, both him and Chuck doing their best impressions of Cat’ gravelly delivery of “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”

I have no evidence to support this other than how irritated Chuck seemed by that line and also his famously bad writing skills. I also maintain that Chuck had no part whatsoever in crafting the magnificent “Hey assbutt!”

Cas was definitely not supposed to be in that part of the story.

But Cas no longer interests Chuck. He doesn’t fit into the story he wants to tell and so Chuck believes he has no place in it. And you know what? He’s right. Cas doesn’t fit into this story because he exists outside of it. His choices were his own. That gave him a power that no one else really had, and I think Cas has felt the weight of this for a long time. He knows what it’s like to have no free will, he lived that way for eons, and he also knows what breaking out of that feels like. His unfamiliarity with free will and how to navigate such a complicated concept led to him making choices he’s never been able to forgive himself for. It’s made him feel profound pain, guilt and confusion about his place in the world, if he even has one.

And yet as he’s told us over and over again, he wouldn’t take that back for anything.

“What would you rather have? Peace or freedom?”

We know what Cas would choose. What he continues to choose. He told Dean at the beginning of the season that he knew what was real “we are.” I don’t know if it was wise for Chuck to confirm just how right Cas actually was about that. Cas has spent this whole season thinking he had no role, no importance in the grand plan, but as he now learns, he’s had no place in any of the fights…and yet he’s never let that stop him before.

As a sidenote, I’m not saying much about this because I’m curious about whether the show will address this properly next week but I wonder how this affects Dean’s view of Cas. I don’t think Dean fully believed him earlier this season when Cas reassured him that they were real. As much as he loves and cares for Cas, Dean has always felt insecure about his place in Cas’ life and what he means to him.

So when Dean discovered that he had in fact just been a hamster in wheel being controlled by Chuck, it’s not too much of a surprise that he would start to question his relationship with the angel who literally fell from heaven and into his life. Although I know after their purgatory getaway, they were in a much better place, I think there was still a part of Dean that didn’t fully trust that the feelings were real. There has been so much mess and pain in the past with Cas, how is he to know how much of that was Chuck trying to create drama and how much of it was Cas’ own choices? Well now he knows. It all was. Every time Cas chose him over anything (or anyone) else, it was real.

This episode raised a lot of questions about Cas. Now I just have to try sit patiently and hope next week will answer some of them.

[energyanon]

Surprise reading as I can’t seem to shake off the curiosity. Ok, I’m gonna set them up in relation to this drama. Personally, I don’t believe it. NV would have to have various personality disorders in order for this to be true, among 5000 other reasons why that is not normal, sane human behaviour. But the Instagram.. so many things don’t match up. However, both me and another anon felt fuzzy headed when we were representing her.. maybe it’s not just her overthinking, maybe it’s something more relating to some kind of disorder, but that’s not my place to say. Let’s check it out. Once again I’m gonna type as I go.

I’ve decided for three set ups here: 1. NV, 2. The group chat as a whole as cited on said Instagram, and 3. Henry.

Set up 2. (The GC) first. I picked up NV and got a headache.

First flag: Natalie wanted to be on top of the GC… that’s weird..

Henry is at a distance but he is staring at them both. Starting to feel like I may have been wrong in my judgment here ha.. 😬 I’m really hoping it’s not true cause otherwise that’s fucking sad and NV has genuine issues. But, I’m ok with being wrong.

Alright, let’s start as NV (cause GC, I feel I already know their feelings regardless of if it’s true or not) FYI, I have moved NV to being close but not on top, as one energy on top of - group of energies would be much too hard to decipher.

NV:

Immediate dizziness. I feel very hot and my air con is currently blasting down upon me so it’s not me. The group chat feels very little to NV. like tiny, as in I could step on them. (1. This can mean they’re not even being seen, she barely cares about them, or 2. Can feel more powerful than) as we know in the screenshots the latter was supposedly the case, so I’m not going to cross that out just yet, but it feels more like I’m just not even seeing them. they’re dirt under my feet. They don’t really have her attention and she’s not super bothered by them, but once I brought her attention to it She does want to stamp it out, it’s a complete nuisance. She wants to cover them up. I gave them a little tap, which ended turning into many taps which turned into actually wanting to destroy their rep all together. so she’s angry about it. (At this point I don’t know if she’s angry about This situation being a lie, as in she’s sick of these people doing this to her, or if she’s genuinely angry at the group for exposing her) the tiny dirt now feels a bit bigger but more like a basketball sized nuisance. She still feels bigger than them, it’s just that this is so ANNOYING. Still wants to rip them up into little pieces, she’s annoyed, she’s moving me around a whole bunch, she’s angry, she’s frustrated, she’s tying her hair up, she’s not having it. like it’s fucking annoying. this is all so ANNOYING. She’s stressed, she’s annoyed, she wants this over and done with.

No more energy shifts. Incoming questions.

Q: do you know them?

No I don’t fucking know them

Ok do you think that was a friend who exposed you?

I don’t know I can’t think I- (just a bunch of profanities) [note: it’s like she’s keyboard smashing in my brain right now it’s REALLY annoyed]

Jaw clenched, I’m swaying from side to side my hands are on my hips, hair away from my face I want to move somewhere else but I need to deal with THIS FUCKING THING FIRST ISHDJFKSJXJDSNX.

god it is SO ANNOYING like if you guys were all in front of me right now you’d be heading me yelling and screaming and So irritated I’m so I’m SO Annoyed. I can’t even think of any other questions to ask cause I’m too busy getting keyboard smashed atm.

I’m gonna move to the group to just see if the intentions there are legit. I need a break from NV.

Ok the group:

the group have some anxiety, stomach dropped. They’re not angry they’re just looking at NV. None of them can be sure if It was NV - I think some of them doubt but it was a “get it out just in case” situation. At least one of them feel bad. Nervous jitters from my right leg. You know how you fidget when you’re waiting to get in trouble?

Q: do you believe it was NV?

There are many of them so I’ll just say it as it came up. No (1) I don’t know (majority) one of them is a yeah, feels like the leader of the group but even then the yeah isn’t a solid resounding yeah. But it’s also not like a “yeaahhh?” It’s like I’m just gonna make a decision and it’s yeah.

Q: are you mad that nv is with Henry

I’m not mad (1)

We’re not mad, we just think he could do better. (Majority)

Q: why did you do this

To expose her

Q: why to expose her if you didn’t truly believe it was her

There is a very weak “it was the right thing to do” like.. when I say weak it feels like they don’t even believe that, but they’ve convinced themselves it is..?

Q: at any point did you lie or fabricate the screenshots?

Resounding no, but one solid yes from someone.

Q: Yes?

One of them.

Q: which one

(I was shown one of them, it was one of the purple and black ones, one where there isn’t much purple - I’ll have to check it after)

Ok, my leg isn’t going crazy anymore - there is just an expectant waiting. They’re looking at NV, she’s taller than them but not much taller (not like they’re a basketball being looked down upon, just normal human heights) the feeling is just waiting. Waiting to see if there is a response. That’s it, that’s all I’ve been given I can’t even conjure Up another question. (Sometimes when the energy is done sharing its just done, I can’t force it past that and I’m not in my right to)

Checking Henry:

Henry is tired, he’s disillusioned, he’s just staring into space. The other two are in front of him (facing one another) but he doesn’t see them. Genuinely no thoughts from him it’s complete disassociation. But I did ask if he knew about this situation, he doesn’t seem to know yet.

And yet he’s still disassociating.. the thought “I don’t know what to do” came up, but it was so slow and fractured it was like… you know that video of that kid who’s trying to say have you ever had a dream that you could do anything but he muddles it up for 20 seconds before getting to it? It’s like that (I’ll link it when I’m done)

“I don’t kn- I just I - what do I ev- wh-“ and it keeps going but imagine it taking FOREVER for him to say it.

He’s stuck in the disassociation. Weird choice, but I need to do it. I’m gonna slap him. (Which yes, means slapping myself)

Ok, that didn’t make much difference, he’s still super tired, he still didn’t see the other two but I tried to bring his attention to NV and he was already turning around to leave “I don’t care, I don’t care I’m too tired” and then he turned back and said to NV to clarify “I do care, but I don’t, I’m tired” and I took him out cause he was walking out of there anyway.

Back to NV one last time, and then I’m doing other stuff with my day and then I’ll do CE tonight.

NV

It’s always dizziness with this chick, I swear. Everytime im with her I’m dizzy, I’m losing blood pressure. She’s calmed down at least but fuck I’m dizzy more dizzy than I usually am (can be her, could also be me continuously going into different energies, I don’t tend to feel like this though but don’t rule it out)

Dizzy, Im not tired, but fatigued like I don’t need to sleep, I need to just lay down. I see the GC but they can fuck off I don’t care. She wants to kick them out of the way. As soon as she does she wants to leap out at them and tear them to shreds. She goes from 1- 100 real quick. I don’t want her to destroy my representative for the group, cause I don’t want anything to accidentally manifest in real time for the actual group, so im going to create a little thing that she can destroy instead - just in case there are any energetic consequences of her destroying the representation of the GC. Found a little piece of paper I called it placebo GC and we’re tearing it up.

Ok so, I got her to tear up Placebo GC. She got raveonous with it. I am now coming to believe that NV has some major anger issues. To be fair, im feeling how annoyed she is and I get it honestly it’s the only way to get out this level of emotion. It’s not healthy, therapy is needed for sure, but I’m not gonna sit here like this and say that she’s overreacting cause when you’re feeling like she is, there’s no where else for this to go

She ripped them up, crushed them, tore at them with her teeth, crushed them into a little ball again and chucked them away and then we just screamed “FUCK!” For literally about 3 minutes and she was LIVID. I’ve sat her down now while I write this, she’s still annoyed, she’s not livid.

Interesting to note though, all throughout the screaming there was never a single thought that came up that was like “why can’t they just let US live, why can’t we just BE together” she really doesn’t seem to care about the affect it has on her and Henry’s relationship, she’s just annoyed people are talking shit. Like she just doesn’t care that people won’t accept them.

Oh! I haven’t checked on her vs. HC so lemme do that. I wanna see if she checks up on him too, cause from a normal relationship perspective, this would affect him too. But let’s see.

Yup, ok, nothing from her end, if anything she’s giving him the silent treatment. Like she’s looking at him in the way you do when your partner has said something stupid and you’re too angry to answer. But she doesn’t care that he’s there. I went to him also to see if he would comfort her and he was just a brick wall, kind of more like “here I am I’m showing up but idc. I really idc. Sorry that you’re going through it I guess.” Both of them had the ~aura~ (I don’t know how to explain it on text) of “this did not go as planned” however, they didn’t SAY that, just as an FYI, it was just a bit of a shared feeling translated into words.

That’s it. I’m ending it there. I’ve got life admin to do, be back later for a CE reading as promised. :)

[bat-losers-inc]

Song of Cassandra: Chapter 1

Warnings: Family Drama, Family Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Baggage, and Child Neglect

Summary: What is Batman without a Robin? Everyone in the family makes jokes about the ‘dead robins club’, but Dick and Jason really do have measures set in place for the day Bruce loses sight of what’s really important. They won’t let Bruce sacrifice another Robin for the cause, even if that means separating Robin from Batman for good.

Pairings: Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Bruce Wayne, and Dick Grayson & Jason Todd

                              _____________________________________

“To select a victim, to adorn it, and to drive it towards the enemies to be killed by them in time of crisis - such is the ancient rite of substitution.” — The War That Killed Achilles by Caroline Alexander

The bone-saw pinwheeled through the air and smashed into the stone facade beside them. The event wouldn’t have been nearly so noteworthy if Dick hadn’t just yanked Damian out of its path only a second ago.

“Hey, Robin,” Jason called, “get your head in the game before you lose it completely!”

In front of them, Red Hood had swapped out his dual guns for a set of brass knuckles. All around him the Dollotrons and their improvised weapons fell to the ground.

Not helping, Jason.

Robin’s domino mask hid multitudes behind its whiteout lenses. Dick read what he could from the pinched lines of Damian’s mouth and the taut muscles in his neck which trembled through each unsteady swallow. He could feel the effort it was taking him to reign it in.

“Robin, you good?” He placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder and tried to draw his attention back from wherever his mind had just drifted off to. It wasn’t the first time that he’d asked that question tonight and he doubted that it would be the last.

“Fine,” Damian replied but jerked free of his grip with a suddenness that could only mean his pride had been bruised.

Damian snatched the fallen bone-saw up off the pavement and hurled it back into the mass of flailing limbs where it sliced deep into a Dollotron’s shoulder and sent the man staggering.

“Incapacitate only, Robin!” Batman’s voice boomed over the noise of the brawl unfolding before them.

The hope was that they could save at least a few of Professor Pyg’s failed creations if they got them prompt medical attention. Robin, however, had been one-step behind the entire evening—breaking with their predetermined strategies and acting on reflex more than anything. Dick could only chalk so much up to rustiness from being out of the field.

As Robin ducked back into the fray, he had no choice but to follow him in the hopes of preventing further bloodshed. It was going to be a long night.

Back in the cave, he watched Damian unbuckle the utility belt from his waist, his uniform glowing brightly in the cave’s dim interior. His movements were calm, but the distracted look in his eyes betrayed him outright. It was much too soon for him to be back in the field after his death at the hands of the Heretic and subsequent resurrection and it showed on patrol this evening.

Dare he say it, but tonight Robin was... sloppy. And didn’t that just make it worse, he thought to himself, remembering Jason’s muttered comment earlier that night, you can’t blame Damian, the last thing he wants to do is disappoint his father.

Well, what the hell was a kid supposed to do when Batman was your father?  

Dick’s gaze cut to Bruce at the Batcomputer, oblivious to everything except finishing up his report of the night’s mission. He wanted to chuck an escrima stick at his stupid pointy head. But no matter how satisfying that would feel in the moment, it wouldn’t be productive. So instead Dick did the adult thing and waited impatiently for Damian and Tim to change out of their gear and head to their respective beds to sleep away the rest of the dark hours.

When they were alone with nothing but the clicking of keyboard keys to fill the silence, Dick cast a final confirmative glance Jason’s way. Jason raised his arm and tapped at the imaginary watch on his wrist.  

It was now or never. “Bruce, can we talk for a sec?”

Bruce turned in his chair and faced him. “About what?”

He took a breath and forced the words out before his confidence failed him. “I don’t think Damian should be back in the field.”

Bruce held up his hands, his expression transforming from mild to exhausted in a fraction of a second.  “Dick, no. We’ve discussed this. I’m not having this conversation again.”

Again, he said, like he’d ever really taken the time to listen to him the first time around.

“You agreed to give him time! We only just got him back and already you’re putting him back in the line of fire?”

He’d thought that would have been the last thing that Bruce would have done. They’d all witnessed how Damian’s death had driven Bruce to the edge, Jason especially. It had taken hours of persistence to get Jason to even agree to come here, let alone stand with him on this, after the stunt Bruce had pulled in Ethiopia.

Bruce sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose tightly. “I’m not putting him anywhere. I put the decision up to Damian and he told me he felt ready to put the uniform back on.”

Those walls that Damian had started to lower during their time working together were back up now that his father was around, but not before the damage had already been done. Dick had glimpsed the vulnerable side of Damian that just wanted to prove his worth. He couldn’t stand by and watch the kid get hurt, even if he had to step on Bruce’s toes to do it.

Jason pushed off the clothing lockers that he’d been leaning against for the past ten minutes and walked up behind Dick’s shoulder. “You sure he really meant that? Or was he just saying what he thought you wanted to hear?”

Bruce’s face was quickly losing its composure. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, he was raised knowing he was the son of Talia al Ghul and Batman. Not Bruce Wayne— Batman. He might not think he has a choice in putting on the cape unless someone tells him otherwise.”

“And you think I didn’t?” snapped Bruce. As quick as that anger appeared, it was snuffed out just as fast and replaced with a measured response. “Robin is the one thing that gives Damian purpose. I won’t take that away from him.”

“Can you honestly say that his actions tonight didn’t worry you?” asked Jason. “He can take down Dollotrons with his eyes closed, but tonight he was distracted almost to the point of defenselessness. If we didn’t tag along and babysit him the entire patrol he might have ended up in the med bay or worse.”

“I think it’s understandable that he’s having some trouble adjusting.”

Adjusting, Dick wanted to scream. Did you see the look on your kid’s face out there? He’s not adjusting to anything.

Jason sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. “C’mon, B. You know I don’t stick my nose in things unless they’re serious. This is serious. We’re worried about him.”

Bruce glanced between them, eyeing them both critically. “Think back to when you both were Robin. Would you have appreciated someone coming in and telling me to bench you because they thought you weren’t ready for the role? Without even taking into consideration how you might feel about the matter.”

“We aren’t saying that—” said Dick.

“Are you sure? Because it seems like you only just made this mistake with Tim.

The comment hit Dick like a slap to the face. “That was an entirely different situation—”

“You took Robin away from Tim when you thought he wasn’t in a position to handle the job anymore and gave it to Damian. Now you’re trying to take it away from Damian.”

“Robin was my mantle,” Dick said slowly, an anger months in the making rising in him. “I created it and I’m so sick of you telling me what bearing that name means or who that uniform gets passed down to like I don’t have any say in it! Especially with Damian. When you ‘died’ you left him with nothing. He was your blood son but you never bothered to give him a place in this family beyond that. So you want to talk about Damian’s place and his purpose ? Well, I gave those to him, not you.”

He thought you were going to be the one to take Robin away from him. He was so scared that his place in your legacy would be erased the moment you returned, despite all the work he had put in to change his nature.

Bruce was in his chair one second and standing over Dick in the next. “Despite what you might still believe, you’re no longer his guardian nor are you his mentor. You gave up the right to parent my child when I came back from the dead. I’m Batman and it’s time for you to go back to being Nightwing. Understood?”

Go back to not having a say, you mean, Dick thought to himself, remembering a time when all he wanted to do was go back to being Nightwing—to not have to make the hard choices. But not anymore. He’d been Batman and had a Robin of his own and those protective instincts don’t just magically turn off with a snap of the fingers.  

Sometimes I feel the need to protect him, even from you.

“I said is that clear?” Over four years since he’d worn the uniform and taken orders from Batman, but Dick’s body still jumped to attention like it did when he was Robin. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that even Jason wasn’t immune to that tone of voice.

He absolutely hated it.

“Crystal.”

Bruce’s cape whipped him in the legs on his way out.

“C’mon, get changed,” Jason placed a hand on his shoulder and nodded his head towards the exit, “I’ll buy you a drink.”

It would take more than a year for him to realize he should have tried harder.

                              _____________________________________

By the time Jason shoved into his apartment and kicked the door shut behind him, it was two hours short of daybreak. He jerked to a halt when he caught sight of him sitting in his living room, and clutched his apartment keys in one limp fist.

“Hey,” he said, voice a rough croak.

Dick stood up to greet him. “Sorry. I didn’t think to text you and I had a key—”

He paused when he caught sight of Jason’s face illuminated under the overhead lights. “What happened to you? I thought you went to talk to Steph.”

“I did,” Jason dropped his keys in the bowl by the front door. “Or at least I tried to. She was more interested in hitting something than having a heart to heart.”

It was too soon after Tim’s funeral for Stephanie to be back in the field. Even, Kate had suggested that Bruce intervene before someone got hurt on the job. Dick had wanted to laugh at her choice of phrase. Hurt? Didn’t she realize that the reason they were in this situation in the first place was because the stakes had risen way past that already?

Still, they all knew it was no good to try to force yourself back into the vigilante lifestyle before you were ready. Damian had proven that only a year or so ago and Gotham’s citizens had borne the brunt of his mistake. So Bruce had tried to step in, but it felt like all he’d really succeeded in doing was pouring salt into the gaping wound that Tim’s death had rent into their little family of heroes.

I’m so sick of you pretending like you care. Dick remembered the way Steph had flung those words at Bruce just hours ago. You only care when people can forgive you. Because all you really care about is continuing your stupid fucking mission!  

Dick could already make out the puffy bruised skin that circled his right eye and colored his cheekbone a dark purple. “Right, so the obvious conclusion was to offer up yourself as her human punching bag.”

“Better me than Bruce.”

Just the idea of it made him sad. Jason and his stupid martyr complex. The kicked-puppy of the family. “I disagree.”

There was an image that Dick couldn’t get out of his head. It lurked in the back of his mind, even now. Steph’s features pulled tight from anger and grief, her icy eyes staring holes into Bruce as she spat out, You keep pretending to care about me to what? Absolve you for what happened to Tim? Well, I don’t, Batman. I don’t absolve you!  

No, it should have been Bruce that bore the brunt of her violence. Bruce who sported a fractured cheekbone for the following week, a consistent reminder of his failings. Not his little brother who had warned them all time and time again about Bruce’s bad habits and all of the endless justifications he had to explain them away. Not Jason, who’d said Bruce shouldn’t be allowed to have sidekicks if he couldn’t keep them alive into adulthood—that if he wanted to fight crime so bad, let him, but keep the kids out of it.

Jason winced as he fingered the delicate skin around his eye. “We both know from past experience how unsatisfying it feels to go after him. It’s like punching a brick wall—he doesn’t give anything and it just ends up hurting you more in the long run.”

He knew Jason was right, but that still didn’t make it fair.  

Jason went to the freezer and pulled out a bag of frozen green beans which he pressed to his face with a relieved sigh. “What are you doing here, Dick?”

Jason never was one for small talk.

Dick stared at the bookshelf in the corner of Jason’s living, the titles on the spines were illegible to him all of a sudden like he was viewing them from a great distance. “Tim’s dead.”

“Yeah, I know. Alfred called me after it happened, same as you.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it.” Dick shook his head. “He was supposed to hang up the cape and go to college with Steph. I thought he was going to make it, but instead, he sacrificed himself on that rooftop for Bruce’s endless goddamn crusade.”

“Careful, Golden Boy. You’re sounding a little blasphemous there.”

“Good,” snapped Dick. “because I’m fucking angry. Angry that Bruce seems content to maintain the status quo while my siblings get blown up and stabbed and tortured.”

“You’re also grieving,” said Jason. “Which might explain why you’re slumming it around my place instead of spending time with Babs. When you work your way up to the bargaining stage I suggest trying Damian because I’m not helping you find a lazarus pit.”

“Fuck you,” he replied, but he couldn’t force any heat into the words. Not when his chest constricted again with that tight pain that stabbed at his lungs. He couldn’t stop the tears that pooled at the corners of his eyes and spilled over.

When he glanced up at Jason, the other boy was nothing but a watery figure standing out against the dark room. “Those missiles incinerated Tim into a pile of ash. There’s no body left for us to try to bring back this time.”

Jason squeezed his eyes shut tight like something was paining him. He didn’t go to Tim’s funeral, Dick remembered and wondered which stage of the grieving process he was on: denial or acceptance. Either way, it was clear that even he was having trouble hiding it behind that cock-sure snarky mask of his.

Jason shook his head slightly. “I think you should leave.”

“What?” Dick wiped furiously at his eyes. “Why?”

“Because I can’t tell you what you came over here to hear.”

“And what’s that?”

“That everything’s gonna be alright. That Bruce is gonna change his ways.” Jason shrugged and tossed the bag of beans on the counter. “He might change a bit… adapt like he’s done in the past. But it won’t happen fast enough to stop another Robin from dying on the job.”

“You don’t know that.” Dick wanted to punch him for how cruelly and casually he said it.

“Don’t I?” Jason grabbed his Red Hood helmet up from where it rested on the kitchen counter and flung it at Dick’s chest like it was all the evidence he needed in the world. It was. “Just because you want someone to change, doesn’t mean they will.”

“Go to him with me. If we talk to him together we can make him listen—”

“The same way he listened to us before, with Damian? Like how he listened to Steph tonight? She yelled the harsh truth right in his face, even gave him an ultimatum. And she failed, just like you did, because the truth is that he doesn’t want to hear it.”

“We just have to try harder this time—”  

“Dick… please leave. I can’t do this with you right now and I won’t lie to you just to make you feel better.”

Dick threw Jason’s helmet onto the nearest piece of furniture. “You’re a piece of shit, you know that? I’m standing here trying to tell you that I need your help and you can’t even bring yourself to listen to me.”

“That’s because I’ve already learned this lesson. Just like Steph did tonight. And it’s a really simple one at that … if you love someone, you do what’s best for them even if it’s the hard choice. Damian, Cass, Steph, Duke… they won’t be ‘safe’ until they’re out of the lifestyle entirely. And it’s become increasingly clear that Bruce can’t, or won’t, give up being Batman so what makes you think he’s going to tell them to stop?”

Jason’s words were no different than the ones that occupied his thoughts of late. So why did it feel so much worse to hear them spoken out loud?

“I can’t lose another sibling, Jason. I won’t be able to take it. Please… there’s got to be something we can do.”

Jason hesitated, his eyes dropping to the kitchen counter. The sky was starting to lighten as dawn approached. In the ever-shifting dim of his apartment, it felt like ages before Jason finally spoke again. “I want to show you something. Maybe it will help.”

He walked past Dick to his bookcase and pulled a collection of books off the shelf, revealing a hole in the wall. “I started it about six months back for Steph. Her relationship with Bruce has always been rocky. I knew there might come a time when she went off to do the vigilante thing on her own.”

He reached in and pulled out a saran-wrapped package. “I want her to know that she had money waiting for her—to get a place of her own and new gear if she needs it.”

He tossed the package to Dick. It was a brick of cash, bundled into individual stacks with currency straps. Based on the various conditions of the bills it looks like Jason had swiped them during his many run-ins with Gotham’s criminal underbelly.

“You saved all this for her?” asked Dick.

Jason paused in placing the books back on the shelf and shrugged. “Well, yeah. We know how hard it is to go it alone—the way you have to swallow your pride and values at a certain point because you need Bruce’s help, or money, or his connections. Steph deserves better than that. If she made the decision to leave the fold, I want her to go and not look back.”

Jason leaned against the edge of the bookshelf. “It’s not much when you’re coming from Bruce Wayne’s trust fund, but maybe we could start doing the same for the others; Damian, Cass, Harper, Duke... What do you think?”

“There’s certainly enough dirty operations in Gotham to fund it, but we’d need a better place to store it than a hole in your wall.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

Dick’s mind was already racing with the possibilities. “And we don’t have to stop at cash. I’m sure we both have old safehouses that we don’t use and contacts with other superheroes and scientists that we can share—”

“Whoa, whoa! Dick…” Jason rubbed at his face. “What you’re talking about is building Batman’s resources from the ground up and not even that, doing it all in secret.”

“Are you saying we can’t do it?” asked Dick.

“Not necessarily—”

“Well if we have all the resources then why are we hesitating?” asked Dick.

He held out his hand. “So are we doing this?”

Jason took his hand. “I guess I officially have to stop calling you Golden Boy now.”

[eddielala]

Okay, I won’t sleep.

Here’s my goddamn summary and explanation of the meta. Because I have to say it.

1. They cut the ‘I love you’ scene . You know why? It was a hint that this episode won’t be about them.

2. We don’t know how long Dean was in the bunker and cried. We do know he didn’t pick up the phone the first time Sam called.

3. Dean arrives with the Impala. You can see he’s broken. And I really mean fucking goddamn broken. Jensen acted it very well and in character. He looks to the ground, he tries not to cry, his eyes flutter. He doesn’t realize what Jack and Sam are saying, you literally can see him thinking. Cas told him he loves him and died, that’s not easy to handle. Not for Dean, who’s still unsure about his sexuality.

4. “He saved me”. Well, he didn’t say ‘he loves me’. But ‘he saved me’ is the exact same thing for Dean, because he’s the man who doesn’t deserve to be saved. Saving him was Cas’ love confession and with telling Sam and Jack about it, he said ‘he loves me’. And come on, Dean talking about feelings would be out of character. We see a drunk Dean sleeping between beer bottles, that’s enough.

5. The dog is Cas. Not in person, but it’s kind of an incarnation. The angel with the puppy eyes, loyal, brave. Dean sees Cas in it and that’s the reason he falls in love with ‘Miracle’. He dies because of god and the moment of joy is over. Btw in the end you can see the dog again. Sooo, maybe Cas is on his way?

6. Adam is dead. It was only Michael and Adams body. And after Michael is killed Adam is gone forever. Maybe it’s a message because the fans always made fun that the writers and the boys forgot their brother. Now he’s gone.

7. The Cas call scene. You can see the desperate in Deans eyes. I already saw some posts about it and they were on point. The moment of hope in Deans eyes when he hears Cas’ voice, he jumps off and runs upstairs. That’s love btw. He wants so bad that it’s Cas, even he knows it’s nearly impossible.

8. Lucifers comeback. Maybe fan service? Mark was a brillant Lucifer. And we have the situation of the archenemies again: Lucifer and Michael, both with daddy issues. One last fight. And, surprise, Luci dies. The “good” one wins. Luci is now in the empty again... isn’t he? But I think his death is permanently. They wanted to solve the problem with the whole ‘in SPN nobody stays dead’ thing. But dunno, I didn’t look up the cast for next week’s episode.

9. The reaper. Well, I was in shock when she showed up. I really thought it’s Cas in a female vessel but it was just a reaper. Luci kills her, here’s new death. Well, they needed someone to open up the goddamn book. Wasn’t very exciting. And she was dead as fast as she was alive. I think the writers didn’t know how to open up the book otherwise.

10. The plan. What a rush. And how could god not know it? He’s omniscient? Hm... well, I think the most important scene was the one when Dean asks god to bring Cas back. The anger in his eyes, mixed with desperation. He would kill his brother, but Cas has to live. That’s character development, you can’t tell me otherwise. And that’s also plot development.

11. Michael’s death. Kill off and gone. Well, I think they had to get rid of him. But he died through the hands of his loved father. Could be a hint that daddy issues have to be solved and shows that Chuck is a goddamn son of a bitch.

12. Jack. Oh, he’s an adult now! I think it was the best what could happen to our baby. He always felt not strong enough and now he’s god. That’s a promotion! It was a good decision: Jack was not controlled by his feelings - sure he had bad days, but his wisdom was greater than god’s actually. The reason is that he’s half an angel. And he’s half an human. God made the angels the image and likeness of himself but he wasn’t satisfied by the result. So he created humanity the same way. Jack is a combination out of god’s objective, destructive side and god’s loving, emotional side. And both sides were always in balance, and that’s the reason he could be a energy - how did they call it - sucking hole without getting destroyed by gods and Amaras power. Because these powers need balance and Jack could give it to them.

13. God. God’s an asshole. And we know he represents the writers of Supernatural. When Chuck beats the shit out of Dean and Sam it’s actually a message: The writers harmed them so many times, the whole series is a fucking drama. It represents how they dealt with them, they send them to hell and back so many times. They tortured them, broke their hearts. That’s the last time the writers harm them so much. Because they - Chuck - looses his powers. Dean and Sam take over the situation. Dean and Sam represented and influenced by Jensen and Jared. And by the fans. The writers aren’t able to change them anymore. They are what we want them to be. Because they don’t have the power anymore.

14. The book. We see the white pages of the book. God can’t see what’s written there. The pages are blank. This means the writers are finished. They don’t have something to say anymore. The story got told and there’s nothing what follows. The pages are white and ready for stories from other people. Fanfics, fanarts, and so on. Chuck, the writers, tell us there’s nothing left to say. It’s over.

15. Dean doesn’t kill god. Chuck provokes Dean to kill him and Dean says to him, that’s not who he is. You remember Cas said it this to him, right. It’s not a love confession but something like this. He finally accepts who he is and that he has feelings and not only a raised killing machine. He accepts himself. Maybe that’s a good sign for the next episode.

16. Jack disappears. I know he’s family but for real: he found his happiness being a god. He will change the world. I already said why he’s perfect for this job. And his disappearance is... well, gives me a comfortable feeling. He’s in peace and he found his mission of life. And you can’t tell me he didn’t bring back Eileen and the others. We don’t know if he can bring back Cas out of the empty. But I think he would bring Cas back if he could. Maybe he couldn’t and the story gets told in the last episode. However, Jack did a great job.

17. The ending. Yeah, what did we expect? They already told us with the season’s posters that it’s about Sam and Dean. And only them. And I can understand why Dean seems to be happy there. They literally saved the goddamn world again. But I don’t think it’s only this. They are free now. That means they can become what they want - what the fans want because the writers lost their power. And maybe that’s a hint on Destiel being confirmed by Dean in the next episode. And they’re driving with the Impala but we don’t know where they will go. Hmm... and maybe Dean smiled because he had hope again? Hope to save his... boyfriend?! Don’t know, but he’s able to do it now.

So, maybe I’m too romantic but that’s what I think. I think we see Cas again and that they will be together. I don’t know and I don’t think we will get a love confession from Dean (I know, sad. I thought we get it). But I think there’s hope. Maybe - that’s only a theory - they don’t want to make it completely canon because they argue that the end should offer enough possibilities for the fans to write and draw and so on. I would be pissed if that’s the argument, I mean queerbaiting is real but we don’t know.

I don’t find an answer in the confusing statements of the actors and the crew. Misha said he’s not in this episodes, but he was on set. It’s canon, but Dean doesn’t reciprocate? What the hell? It’s a mess and they have to clean it up for the fans. They said it won’t be a ‘Game of Thrones’ ending and hell yes, I don’t want that. It would suck. Also they said the ending would make 30% of the fans happy - maybe that’s us. We’ll see.

Edit: Btw I wrote it before, I think it’s true that Cas gets more attention in the last episode because of the fact it’s the series finale. Cas wasn’t just part of the season and we know it was the season finale, he’s part of the whole series for years. So why not bring him back for the series finale?

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

Soulmate Shenanigans Part Three: Return Of The Shenanigans

Let’s do this!

At this point, you probably know the drill (and, if not, parts one and two are here and here!)

Basically I found some prompts for September, and now I’m doing them in October just because

Prompt #3

You have an animal that only you and your soulmate can see.

Warnings: Death mentions, brief mentions of drowning (I pinky swear that I’ll stop drowning Janus for the rest of this challenge), brief mentions of house fires (I pinky swear that I’ll stop setting Patton on fire for the rest of this challenge)

World Building

Soulmates had always been an idea bubbling in the back of humanity’s brains. A sort of “hey, this romance thing is complicated, could we just kinda know?”

It was starting to annoy the fates

Do you expect them to do all the work? I mean, what with the spinning, and the looking ominous, and the lack of dental, their job is a hard one, and you want to make it harder by having them weave two people’s stories together?

One day, a fate heard yet another “please, let me meet my soulmate tomorrow” prayer and went nuts

Fine. Fine! You want soulmates? We’ll make soulmates.

The plan was to create two soulmates, make them fall in love

And then kill them.

Just to remind humans where they stood on a cosmic scale. Just to remind them that every story ends tragically, when you get down to the end.

They reviewed a few couples (Some Romeo and Juliet people had promise), but in the end decided. Feuding families? Check. Opposites attracting? Check. Tragedy? Inevitable.

Characters

Patton: Patton grew up inside the hedges.

Hedges were his family’s specialty, so the house was surrounded by them. He rarely got to leave, but he could get lost in the gardens and talk to his imaginary pet, so all in all things were okay. Sure, maybe it was weird to have a blue jay that only he could see, but he was lonely!

See, Patton’s family liked three things

1. Having heirs (but only in theory)

2. Increasingly elaborate hedge mazes

3. Fighting a blood feud the goddamn lawyers

Patton wasn’t really on that list, but he wasn’t on the list of hated things either, so there was that.

List of Hated Things

1. The goddamn lawyers

2. Anyone who associates with the goddamn lawyers

3. Anyone who is descended from the goddamn lawyers

4. Anyone who gets in the way of the blood feud with the goddamn lawyers

5. Dandelions. They’re not serious gardening.

Janus: Janus was, of course, a child of the goddamn lawyers

The lawyers weren’t a clan of blood like the gardeners, but one of merit. And having kids was seen as a conflict of interest, and therefore frowned upon.

Of course, it’s illegal to murder or criminally neglect children, so he was allowed to stick around and have a childhood vaguely reminiscent of John Mulaney’s “one black coffee”, “over on the bench”, and “getting accused of murdering Princess Diana” skits

Most of his childhood was spent accusing his pet blue jay (that couldn’t be seen by anyone else) of crimes and then debating himself about whether or not the bird was guilty, like a normal kid.

However, when it became clear that someone else was stealing his blue jay, he had to find them and give them a piece of his mind, even if they lived behind formidable hedges

The Plot

Patton (about eight at this point) was wandering around the grounds, talking to Sunny (his name for the bird), like every other day, when the strangest kid he’d ever seen in his life appeared through a small gap in the hedges and informed him that the bird was his and he’d be leaving soon

A bird custody battle ensues

Janus uses a lot of legal terminology, which Patton pretends to understand. The debate ends when Patton’s aunt shows up and threatens to chuck Janus over the garden walls if he doesn’t get out immediately.

Janus runs off, but Patton sees him through the hedges later, and he looks kind of sad about the whole thing, so Patton offers to share custody of Sunny. 

Janus perked up at this solution, despite claiming that the bird’s name was really Iago, and a friendship was born.

It was hard for them to chat when both their relatives would love to murder at least one of the kids if they could get away with it, and Patton was separated from him by the hedges, but they managed.

Sunny/Iago was decent at carrying messages, Janus was good at finding secret passages, and Patton had adequate aim when tossing packages over the hedges.

They were best friends for years and years, confidants in their crazy worlds.

At around sixteen, Janus convinced Patton to leave the grounds for an afternoon. The two of them saw the sights (which meant buying/stealing bread) (you can guess who actually bought the bread and who stole it) and had fun

The evening ended with the two of them sitting under a tree, chatting. The dandelions were in that in-between stage where some of them are flowers and some seed-heads, so Patton was able to weave a crown of flowers and make a wish at the same time.

Take a wild flying guess who he wished for (hint: they were currently wearing the flower crown and pretending to not like it, but would secretly never take it off. Ever.).

Patton claimed he’d wished for world peace (which, on further reflection, he felt bad for not thinking of first), and Janus claimed he’d wished for solid gold coins, but they were both lying.

Eventually, Patton had to go home.

Sunny-Iago: Sunny-Iago had gone by many names before. As one of the extra-dimensional lords of fate, they’d been called things like, “THE FUCK IS THAT”, “IT HAS SO MANY EYES”, and “Oh, fuck, that raven’s back again”. It made perfect sense for them to have at least two, despite being in the flesh prison of a blue jay this time.

A damn blue jay.

At least ravens have a little class.

Anyway, their job was to guide two sweethearts together and then drive them into a metaphorical (or literal? It could always be literal) brick wall. This was proving harder than expected, since the most important thing was to not get attached to either of them and well

Sunny-Iago had gotten attached to both of them. It was hard to see kids grow up and be fine killing them off, okay!

But they knew the drill. This had to end in some kind of tragedy. 

So, they had a plan. Instead of having them both killed off because of miscommunication, they’d merely never see each other again and pine after what could have been, eventually turning into a bittersweet story they’d tell to....someone younger and more naïve, or something. They were still working it out!

So, they grabbed a quill pen in their beak and wrote a note to Patton’s aunt (it took several tries. Beaks were not meant for holding quill pens). 

The note said something along the lines of “You know the goddamn lawyers? Of course you do. Your nephew fell for one, last chance to fix the situation is at 10:00 at the gate”.

Back To The Plot

Patton and Janus got back to the gardener grounds. Neither wanted to leave the other’s company, so they lingered at the gate, chatting and finding excuses to stay.

After a few minutes, it was obvious that Patton had to leave. Before doing so, he quickly kissed Janus on the cheek, just in time to get caught by his aunt, who came close to stabbing the both of them with a garden trowel.

When Janus came back a few days later, wilted dandelions still in his pocket, Patton was gone, sent far away from lawyers and love. All that was left was the bird. A stupid bird that no one else could see.

Time-lapse! Seven years later!

Janus was working on the most important legal case any lawyer had in a solid three years.

A gardener had murdered one of his relatives (he kept forgetting which one, which was a bit of a problem, since half of his job was to look tearful about them) with a wheelbarrow, and he was attempting to get them arrested for it. 

If it worked, the gardeners would have consequence for committing murder, which would hopefully tone down the blood feud a little.

Half of the jurors had been rigged by both sides, some paid to vote one way and some paid to vote another. There were, however, six undecided jurors out there.

The Jurors

Logan: Logan is the only person on the jury who knows anything whatsoever about law and what can be done in a courtroom. He actually wants the most just and logical thing to happen. 

Weirdo.

Roman: Roman is an actor in a touring production of Much Ado About A Midsummer’s Ham (Cooked As You Like It)

He just wants this trial process to be over so he can get back to rehearsal-wait, nevermind, the guy with the glasses is cute and he’s going to make this court case last as long as possible.

Remus: Remus is here to cause as much legal chaos as possible

He might get arrested for contempt of court.

Virgil: Virgil gives 0 fucks about anything that happens, but knows more about law than Logan, who knows more about law than anyone else in the court.

Remy: Remy heard from people that court cases are full of juicy drama.

Those people are wrong. It’s just a bunch of legal stuff. He’d rather be at Starbucks!

Emile: Emile is psychoanalyzing everyone else on the jurors section. Especially Remus.

Back To The Plot

The case progresses normally

Well, normally for this town anyway, which means that the goddamn lawyers are dying off fast (mostly of poison).

Janus, however, has managed to dodge every assassination attempt. He’s lawyering like Billy Flynn here!

Late in the afternoon, everyone’s a little tired and a lot bored when yet another witness is called. Janus was pulling his hat over his eyes for shade from the sunlight streaming into the court, when he heard the witness’s voice.

After a seven year disappearance, Patton stood in the courtroom.

Remy leaned forward. He saw the look on Janus’s face. At long last, drama had arrived.

After the court got out of session, Janus dashed down the steps of the building to catch up to Patton. He offers to get a coffee with him, but Patton turns him down, insinuating that he only offered to get information on the gardeners. Janus left, dejected.

Over the last seven years, Patton’s was in the far away land where his family started: New Jersey. While in this cursed place, his family attempted to change him from a dandelion to a venus flytrap, and nearly succeeded.

Nearly.

But when, the next day, his aunt poisons Janus’s water glass (gleefully explaining that this poison doesn’t show up on the standard tests and precautions), he just so happens to be clumsy enough to knock it over before Jan drinks it, and ends up volunteering to get coffee to make up for it.

Coffee meet-ups lead to coffee dates lead to rekindling of old romances (all under the utmost secrecy)

Eventually, the court case comes to a head. 

The six pre-decided jurors work quickly, but Logan debates, and Roman stalls because he’ll be missing Logan, and Remus is forcibly removed from the courthouse, and Emile forgot to take notes, and Virgil sleeps through most of it, and Remy couldn’t care less about this, only caring about what happens with Janus and Patton.

They make their decision

Since they saw like 47 murder attempts over the course of the trial, it’s not a stretch to assume that the gardeners did kill that guy with a wheelbarrow.

Janus and the rest of the prosecution celebrate, and in the excitement of the moment, he and Patton end up sharing a kiss.

That’s the moment the gardeners went from Lowkey Trying To Murder Him to Highkey Trying To Murder Him

Both of them walk home with their head in the clouds

When your head is in the clouds, it’s easy to get kidnapped and thrown in the harbor to drown, especially if you happen to be a goddamn lawyer who just won a case.

And when your head is in the clouds, and you overhear your relatives talking about how they threw the person you love the most into the harbor to drown, it’s easy to make rash decisions

Like grabbing a torch and running into the middle of a prized hedge maze, and threaten to burn it all if his aunt didn’t tell him where Janus was. 

When the answer was “dead, obviously”, Patton took the torch to the shrubbery, and the estate burned.

Problem: Janus crawled to shore and survived. 

Secondary problem: Patton’s not trying especially hard to escape the fire.

Janus got to the house, saw it was on fire, and ran into the grounds. He eventually found Patton (who was still alive and in the hedge maze), but....it’s a very intricate hedge maze, and now there’s smoke everywhere, and they can’t find their way out.

At the last second, Sunny-Iago swooped over their heads, pointing to the exit, and they run after them.

They’re almost out of the burning grounds when Sunny-Iago falls to the ground, still, and they find themselves in another place entirely.

The Fates

The Fates had bet on how good old birdie would kill Janus and Patton off

Knife? was the most common bet, followed by Wolves. No one bet on them living in the end.

Except Meghan (alternate name: The Lurking One), and nobody liked Meghan, and nobody liked losing money. 

So, they were going to do the job personally.

Back To The Plot

Janus and Patton find themselves in a tomb where every grave is theirs. A tomb where every grave is theirs is essentially the office space of the fates, who enjoy the atmosphere.

The Fates themselves take a multitude of forms: Animal, vegetable, mineral, eldritch, you name it.

And they all bicker amongst themselves about how to best kill off the couple.

Knife? Wolves? Triscuits? How??

Janus tricks them into debating the subject round and round in circles, but they eventually come to their senses.

As a last ditch hope, Patton says that they’ll pick the method of death for them if they give the couple a chance to plead for their lives.

The fates agree, and the Final Court Case begins.

Janus is quite a lawyer, but there’s literally a saying about how hard it is to argue with Fate, so its a nail biter of a case. Patton manages to give a passionate defense and Janus brings up evidence, but it’s still anyone’s game how the jurors will vote.

Steve votes for death

The Great Rot votes for not death

Spatula votes for not death

Karen votes for death

Meghan votes for not death

A Clump Of Petunias votes for death

Broken Taco Shells And Broken Hearts votes for not death

That One Relative At Family Reunions That You Pretend To Know But Don’t votes for death

Microwavable Lasagna votes for not death

The Ghost Of Richard III votes for death

That Sock That Always Disappears From Dryers chooses not to vote. What a jerk.

At this point, it’s tied 5-5. Enter Remy, who just wants to go to the extra-dimensional Starbucks.

He deliberates. He hems. He haws. He draws out the moment unnecessarily long for drama’s sake.

But, at the end of the day, he was always rooting for these humans.

Remy votes for not death.

Conclusion

Patton and Janus get to live. Time is very short for humans, and eventually they would both die, but right then and there, they got to live.

Dandelions eventually took root where the carefully trimmed hedges had once been.

And Roman noticed, after his performance was done, that a certain nerd was in the audience.

And he could also see Roman’s blue jay.

Hope you enjoyed!!

[theparanormalperiodical]

The 13 Scariest Paranormal Investigation TV Show Episodes You Need To Watch - And The Links To Watch Them For Free!

As a paranormal blogger, I’m used to fangirling with other occult-obsessives about anything that’s spooky. 

It could be a scary movie. It could be a ghost they’ve seen first hand. It could even be an urban legend that frightened them to their very core! Either way, they always have a turning point in their life that pushed them towards the paranormal. 

My epiphany was different.

Sure, I’ve always had this constant connection with otherworldly spirits - but it was developed by one thing: paranormal documentary TV shows.

Most Haunted, Ghost Adventures, Celebrity Ghost Stories…

Each and every one made me want to be there with them!

I wanted to wander ‘round castles for a living. I wanted to read ghost stories everyday and explore the history behind them. I wanted to connect the dots and explore a new, hidden world.

It’s for that reason that I’ve decided to share my love for these shows with you, dear reader.

I’ve brought together the best episodes from Most Haunted, Ghost Adventures, Paranormal Lockdown, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Ghost Hunters and Paranormal Witness, explained the ghost stories that are the centre of the episodes, and have even provided links (and the terrifying timestamps) to the episodes. 

All you’ve got to do is press play!

Oh, and leave a comment on which one traumatised you the most…

Now, let’s get spooky.

#1 - The Dorothy Puente Murder House - Ghost Adventures (S12, E3)

Ghosts give me the heebeejeebies. Demons make me want to hide under my quilt and cry to a Sigrid song. But it’s stories of entrapment that really fuck me up. 

This is one of those stories.

Dorothy Puente was a landlady who ran a boarding house in California for elderly and mentally disabled residents. Don’t be fooled by her charitable exterior, though - what was happening inside the boarding house was a very different story. 

Puente was a serial killer who committed 9 murders - a number which is still disputed to this day - throughout the 1980s, and then cashed their social security checks. 

Whilst there are a number of details to this case, I thought I’d leave that to be discovered during the episode. 

Nevertheless, I thought I’d wet your appetite with some seriously traumatising tales:

In 1985, she hired someone to do wood panelling in her apartment. Not only did she give him an old pickup truck that I assume contained traces of evidence of her crimes, she asked him to build a 6-by-3-by-2 foot box. In non-maths terms, that’s the dimensions of a coffin. 

Claiming it was full of books and other small items for disposal, she journeyed with him to a local dump to dispose of these, uh, books, and stopped him before they reached the local area to dump the waste.

She directed him to instead drop it into a river cause that’s not suspicious at all.

But suspicions were roused when she began repeatedly hiring a local homeless man to do certain tasks like digging the basement and removing soil from it, or putting concrete in the garage. It was when he disappeared that the pieces began to connect together. 

Given the dark details behind the case, when Zak Bagans and his squad rocked up, they were on the receiving end some of the most striking paranormal activity they had ever witnessed:

Featuring EVPs crammed full of aggressive growls and demands for them to “Get out!”, or Ovilus Voices spewing words eerily similar to the murders and how the bodies were disposed of, this investigation stays true to what happened there.

But outside of the equipment used, the physical effects on the investigators was incredible!

One medium felt a choking sensation believed to channel the feelings of victims being force fed sleeping pills and then left to die in the Death Room. And the other? She drew a picture uncomfortably similar to a spirit seen by a tenant of the house - the spirit of Dorothy Puente. 

The other physical contact experienced includes pain felt in Zak’s lower back, as well as Zak entering this trance like state from which he fell off the bed!  

Here’s the episode:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x55gpad 

Want to seem some spooks, like, right now? 

09.10 - an EVP with Peggy, the resident who sees Puente’s spirit frequently.

13.10 - a medium begins to sense spirits and experiences some shocking effects.

17.30 - a medium produces pictures of the spirit she senses.

25.20 - EVPs in the backyard - where the bodies were buried - answer some of the questions that still go unanswered. 

30.20 - Zak Bagans begins to exhibit extremely peculiar behaviour.

#2 - Idaho State Tuberculosis Hospital - Ghost Adventures (S18, E10)

Whispers, children and angry old men.

No, it’s not the title of Fall Out Boy’s latest album - it’s just a few of the current inhabitants of The Gooding Inn.

Once a TB hospital that was shut down in 1976, this building has witnessed its patients literally choke and drown in their own blood as their lungs fill up. 

But what’s seriously scary about this episode is the effects on the most recent residents of the inn:

Not only was the housekeeper clearly upset about her encounter with an angry male ghost, she clearly feels the negative energy such spirits embody.

But it's when the current resident is interviewed that the reality of this location is realised. Two of her children had died whilst living in the former hospital, forging a strange link that is explored in the episode.

Yet before I spoil the whole show, here’s a taste of what’s to come:

A playful child spirit and a woman with a child make their own appearances, as well as the strange tale - and even stranger spirit - of Anton Beaver.

Ready to watch?

Here’s the episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdCxNtshvhg

Looking for a quick fear fix?

These are the timestamps of note:

05.25 - Zak Bagans starts the show with the housekeeper’s own tale of the hauntings she’s witnessed.

10.00 - One woman recounts the potential impact of the hauntings on her family.

12.15 - a paranormal investigator brings his own footage and experience of activity in a passage from which gurneys and wheelchairs would bring in the patients

16.00 - Zak Bagans researches those who died there - and creates a sudden shockwave of paranormal activity across the building.

21.50 - a weird non-human noise is heard when a dark shadow appears.

32.00 - pranks set by a spirit of a former child patient begin to haunt the team.

#3 - 30 East Drive - Most Haunted (S18, E1 Halloween Special)

Take a look around my blog - no, seriously, look at what I write about: old manors, haunted abbeys, demonic forests… They all seem to stand out. And I think that’s what makes this tale - and this episode - quite so scary.

Welcome to 30 East Drive, a council house nestled in Yorkshire, England.

It started in 1966. The Prichtard family had just moved into a new home when they started to notice rather peculiar occurrences:

A fine layer of dust fell on everything in the house, puddles would appear from nowhere, even if one was cleaned up, the tea dispenser would go off randomly, and items would levitate!

Given the evident paranormal resident, clergymen were called to exorcise the house. 

They were not successful. Holy water would leak out of the walls, ghostly hands would appear and ‘conduct’ the hymns being said to remove him, faces were slapped and people were pushed. Despite the rather playful poltergeist at first, this spirit slowly became more aggressive:

The daughter, Diane, began to find scrapes and bruises appear on her body, and was even dragged up the stairs by her hair! It was eventually deduced that this could be the spirit of a Monk whose body was discarded down the well that the house now sits on. Why was he thrown down a well?

Because he - or perhaps his twin brother - raped and murdered a young girl.

And as he is often seen wearing black robes, the house was given labelled the Black Monk House. Fancy a watch? You’ll be spoiled for choice then - Paranormal Lockdown also had a stay in the house.

Here’s the Most Haunted Episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO3EeYBGNuo

“But, spookyllama, where are the timestamps?”

I couldn’t find any timestamps of note because the activity in this episode is constant!

Within the first 1 and a half minutes, a marble is thrown, echoing one of the most common hauntings in this house. Knives were also found sticking out of sofas, as was a crucifix jumping off the bed. 

#4 - The Wentworth Woodhouse - Most Haunted (S17, E6)

Our next episode also features a ghostly monk, but this time we see activity beyond marbles being chucked at cameramen. Indeed, this episode is just as iconic as the former - this is due to the controversy surrounding the evidence captured in this video.

One of the most famous hauntings of the Wentworth Woodhouse is the first earl of the house walking down the main stairs of the house. Only he’s headless. And they claimed to capture this footage:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/most-haunted-team-finally-catch-12417869

This footage only taps into one component of the paranormal activity seen in this house, however.

This house has seen centuries worth of aristocratic family feuds, deaths and drama which still roam its halls. Whether its footsteps, ghostly laughter or opera singing, it seems all past residents never actually left. 

Yet aside from the earl taking a nightly stroll, the scariest spirit has to be a ghost that stands still during his hauntings, leading many people to think he’s a statue. 

Specifically, the most haunted locations - aside from the library - are the George VI quarters. With shadows tracing the walls and dark figures standing in the doorways, the Most Haunted team were certainly not alone.

You can see the episode here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdTnJC4cO54

Want a speedy scare?

28.00 - a door rattles and sounds as if its being opened, only its not - it’s locked and there’s no handle.

30.00 - The team hears a whistle, so they whistle back. What happens next is mind-blowing…

50.00 - The crew hears a couple of footsteps follow them around a part of the house.

#5 - The Washoe Club - Ghost Adventures (S16, E7)

The Ghost Adventures team might have investigated this wild-west location 3 times, but it gets no less spooky as time goes on. The oldest saloon there, The Millionaires’ Club, is the centre of the activity as a former exclusive saloon for rich businessmen.

Upon Zak Bagans and his team’s final return, they are reduced to tears by the activity witnessed.

This activity includes the spirit of a prostitute who committed suicide in room 77, a full-bodied apparition in the ballroom, a brick thrown in the basement and a women, Lena, haunting the staircase.

The episodes in particular have also captured EVPs saying their names: “Zak, look out”, and "Nick, Zak, coming..., they're scaring me".

Ready for a trip to the Wild West?

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xqhyh6

#6 - Hinsdale House - Paranormal Lockdown (S1, E5)

If you thought these buildings were scary, wait ‘til you hear about the Hinsdale House. Question is, what separates it from the other contenders? 

This is a demonic haunting.

Considered this generation’s Amityville, the whole property exhibits signs of activity an exorcism couldn't rid it of: mysterious phone calls, chanting from nearby woods, animal hybrids and full bodied apparitions are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this house.

Lucky for us, the Paranormal Lockdown team spent 72 hours here, investigating the hauntings both during the day and night.

Within the first 7 minutes of filming, an abundance of flies fills the house, not unlike horror films that trace the stories behind houses just like this. The following emotional impact on Nick further forges a link to the supernatural. 

Featuring choking, consistent EVP’s saying Nick’s name and even Lorraine Warren on the blower telling them to get out of the house, negative energy is an understatement for this house.

You can watch it here:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6tujvf

Head to 25.00 if you want to see their investigation of the forest - including the Gregorian chanting that is claimed to still echo on this former Native American burial ground.

28.00 - when Katrina asks spirits to go to Nick and show their presence when he’s in a different room, the spirits follow orders.

Unfortunately, the spooks don’t end when the credits roll:

Nick claims spirits from this house followed him home and told him to go to a little house tucked away in England.

And that house was 30 East Drive.

#7 - 30 East Drive - Paranormal Lockdown (S2, Halloween Special)

So, we know Most Haunted’s verdict of the Black Monk House - what about Nick and Katrina’s?

Having spent 100 hours there - one of the longest amounts of time they’ve been in lockdown for - they witness apparitions, marbles flying across the house, a scar appears on Katrina’s stomach, and even a murder attempt by the spirit.

That’s right - a Grandfather clock is pushed over, nearly killing Nick! 

You can watch that happen here:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6azzx0

#8 - The St. Augustine Lighthouse - Ghost Adventures (S2, E19)

Haunted locations aren’t just famed for paranormal fanatics like me rocking up.

It’s the history which matters. 

And this haunted lighthouse is celebrated for its history with its own museum denoting the things it was witnessed as a part of America’s Oldest Port. And with multiple people living and dying on the property, the subsequent variety of activity is what sets this lighthouse apart from, well, non-haunted lighthouses!

But it's that history repeating itself that makes this one of the scariest episodes included on this list: a woman in white roams both the nearby forest and the top levels of the lighthouse, a man walking in uniform wanders round the basement, and spirits make use of the famous staircase that fills this building.

Have I piqued your interest? You can satisfy your supernatural needs here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHsNtvT8uHU

Check out the walk through of the lighthouse and description of the main activity at 05.30.

19.45 - you can hear the chattering of multiple spirits on the staircase - and you might even see someone - or something - walking down it, too.

24.00 - this is the most incredible evidence they’ve ever captured - trust me.

#9 - The Stanley Hotel - Ghost Hunters (S2, E22)

Famous for inspiring the Stephen King classic, The Shining, this hotel is infamous for its real life haunted history. First opened in 1909, the 420 rooms - including an underground cave system - hold many ghosts who still make regular appearances.

Room 217 for example, once belonged to a housekeeper. Often visitors to this room notice their luggage is unpacked, items moving, or the lights flickering. Oh, and she’s not a fan of couples sleeping together in the same room, either!

After that, why not visit the Concert Hall? Haunted by a spirit who was once believed to be an usher, you may hear a voice telling you to leave, a nudge, or even see flashes of light of his torch.

You might even hear the giggle of a child echoing down from the attic, a former nursery.

Question is, why is it quite so haunted? There’s 2 claims behind this: the crystals in the cave system below the hotel channel the energy, and the staircase is a vortex for ghosts, allowing them to come and go as they please.

Ready to see what happened?

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6ekji3

#10 - The Rain Man - Paranormal Witness (S1, E6)

Ghosts and spirits, demons and death; all the episodes mentioned in this post stick to relatively confined notions of the spiritualistic and pagan religions. However, this episode takes us further than I ever expected.

Paranormal Witness is a show - a bit like Celebrity Ghost Stories - where paranormal stories get retold and acted out.

And this episode follows a young man, Don, who becomes possessed by his abusive grandfather. Having displayed the typical signs of possession, he then began to have strange encounters with water. 

Water began to seep from the walls, and then from the ceiling. But this wasn’t water - when someone touched it, it felt sticky.

It was only when Don was stuck in a trance, that water began to go upwards, towards the ceiling, and pots and pan began to rattle.

When religious rituals were used to cleanse Don, the water was directed towards the bible and person performing the cleansing.

This was only the start of Don’s new powers. And they were to intensify during his final stint in prison.

Hungry for more? Check out the full episode here:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2hvjvg

#11 - The Haunted Highway - Paranormal Witness (S1, E2)

Like I said: Paranormal Witness doesn’t stick to the typical hauntings we see. And this episode involves a UFO.

This story - without spoiling the episode - revolves around a mother and son who go missing in the desert. With a relative’s strange dreams pointing her to where they might be and a medical mystery twisting the tale, all that is left is one question:

What really happened in the desert?

You can watch this episode on Amazon for £1.89.

#12 - Celebrity Ghost Stories (S1, E9)

This episode featuring Morgan Fairchild, Lili Taylor, John Salley and Vincent Curatol is considered one of the scariest episodes of this popular episodes from which paranormal experience are acted out.

Here’s the synopsis to tickle your tastebuds of terror:

“A young Morgan Fairchild is abused by a spirit when she moves into her new husband's family home; an unidentifiable stranger comes to John Salley's aid during a nightclub shooting; Lili Taylor hears unexplained noises when she goes on retreat.”

You can watch this episode on Amazon for £1.89.

#13 - Pendle Hill - Most Haunted (S6, Halloween Special)

Pendle Hill might feature as a hiking opportunity in the Pennines, but it actually has a history - and a haunting - to boot. 

Back in the early 17th century, a family of peasants were believed to possess a variety of paranormal powers. And the effigies they made of human hair and teeth didn’t make them appear any less suspicious, either!

The Pendle Witches, as they were known, were arrested, tried and then hung on Pendle Hill.

The witches never left the hill, however. 

Not only did the neighbours of the Pendle Witches experience and die from mysterious illnesses, to this day supernatural activity has stuck close to this location.

Teeth have dropped onto tables during seances, and unnaturally frequent rainfall on the hill is a common occurrence. 

So, what did the Most Haunted team see when they visited the site?

Acorah was apparently possessed by a witch, and a table and a glass smashed during the seance. Oh, and the whole cast and crew felt as if they were being strangled at certain points during filming.

Were they experiencing the final moments of the Pendle Witches as they were executed for their crimes?

You can check that episode out here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu7yRqoLxLc

Or, you can have a speedy spook, instead!

30.00 - the equipment batteries drain, a classic indicator of paranormal presences.

32.00 - Acorah begins his readings of the area, and clearly becomes quite emotional and intense when describing the spirits he sees and hears.

45.00 - Acorah exhibits strange behaviour, and is on the receiving end of harmful spirits.

59.40 - Acorah sees a spirit - or perhaps an otherworldly being.

01.48.00 - the team perform the seance.

Now it’s time to hear what you think.

Which episode are you watching tonight?

And did I miss any seriously-spooktastic episodes out?

[kutemouse]

He calls you clingy with hoseok? I'm love him🌻🌻, angst with fluff please :))

Alright, kutie anon, you asked for it. Please don’t hate me, it’s a lot of heated angst 💜 Btw, I love Hoseok too! He so kute 💜

Age Recommendation: 18+

Warnings: Sweeeeaaaaars (like ALWAYS come on now, y’all know the drill), mentions of alcohol consumption, Jin being an ass, Hoseok being an ABSOLUTE BUTT HOLE. I love him no matter what, but PLEASE don’t project and create toxic situations the way he is doing, ‘kay? Yelling, screaming, and crying 😭 When you ask for angst, I give you ANGST. You’re welcome 😈

Word Count: 2,663

Summary: You feel like you haven’t seen your boyfriend for a while, so you decide to go over to his place and surprise him despite him insisting on a guys’ night. Thanks to Jin mixed with alcohol, things do NOT work out well.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Tears and Tulips (Hoseok One-Shot, Angst, Fluff)

You hesitate before knocking on the door. There’s music coming from inside, along with several muffled explosions and male voices yelling. He’ll appreciate you coming over, right? After all, you did bring food.

With that thought giving you courage, you rap your knuckles on the door. It takes a couple minutes before it opens to Jimin. His eyes go wide with surprise. “Y/n h-hi,” he stutters. “I didn’t realize you were invited over.”

You give him a weak smile. “Technically, I’m not, but… I brought food?”

You held up the bag full of take-out containers, but Jimin still hesitated before stepping aside. “I’ll let Hobi hyung know you’re here,” he muttered.

Nodding, you walked inside the apartment, inhaling the distinct scent of pizza and sweaty boys. “You cheated!” Jungkook shouted, reaching over and playfully punching Taehyung.

“You’re just mad ‘cause you suck,” the elder teased. His eyes flickered over to you. “Oh. Hey Y/n.”

“Hey.”

“Didn’t know you were coming over.”

“So I’ve been told,” you said under your breath, turning to head inside the kitchen.

Jin, Namjoon, and Yoongi were all in there, talking loudly with slurred words. Each one held a cup in their hand filled with liquid you were sure wasn’t juice. Jin’s windshield-wiper laugh rang out. “And then…” he gasped, slapping Namjoon on the chest. “And then she fucking went, ‘Oh, okay, didn’t realize you had such a huge-’”

Joon nudged Jin, cutting him off, the second he caught sight of you. “Y/n!” Namjoon said, his voice too loud, his smile too wide. “What a surprise!”

Your pathetically fake smile came back. “Hey, guys. Sorry to drop by unannounced… But I brought food.”

“Wow!” Jin exclaimed as you dropped the bag on the table. “Damn, Y/n, you’re such a good girlfriend. No girl I know would bring me a meal, let alone one for my roommates too.”

He threw you a cheeky wink. “If you and Hobi don’t work out, you should go out with me, ‘kay?”

You bit your lip and shoved your hands in your hoodie pocket, looking down at the ground as you felt heat rise to your cheeks. You hated when he did this, but you didn’t want to start drama with your boyfriend’s friends. You looked up as Jin stepped close, stumbling as he did so, and pressed his hands into your shoulders. “Seriously, I could kiss you for bringing us food,” he mumbled, his words still heavy and slurred. Your mouth fell open as he actually puckered his lips and leaned in towards you.

“The FUCK!” a voice cried out as a pair of hands reached out and roughly shoved Jin backwards. Hoseok grabbed the front of Jin’s jacket and pressed him against the wall, teeth bared, anger blasting from his dark eyes.

Namjoon and Yoongi, drunk as they were, had a hell of a time wrestling them apart until the younger three came in and helped. Taehyung tugged Jin to the front room and Jungkook held a struggling Hoseok back, pinning his arms behind him. “LET ME GO!” your boyfriend roared.

“ENOUGH!” Joon bellowed.

A beat of silence followed his thundering voice, in which all the boys froze and looked at you. You didn’t realize you were holding your hands to your mouth until that moment. Slowly, you dropped them to your sides. “I’m… I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Fuck off!” Hoseok growled, shoving Jungkook away.

He grabbed your hand and led you wordlessly to his bedroom, fury rolling off him in waves. You jumped as he slammed the door shut. “What. The. Fuck,” he hissed, turning towards you.

You backed away, suddenly feeling a bit frightened. “Hobi, I’m sorry-”

“No! No more ‘sorries!’ No more making excuses!” he shouted, pointing towards the door. “I’m sick of you all defending him! He’s been drunk-flirting with you for weeks now, and I am two seconds away from kicking that pretty boy’s ass!”

You held your hands up. “I get it. I do, Hobi, I really do-”

“No, I don’t think you do!” Hoseok ran a hand frustratedly through his dark locks. “Watching him think he can just… just have you, like he does every other girl who comes his way is… Well, it makes me sick!”

“It makes me uncomfortable, too, I’ll be honest-”

“Then WHY?!” he roared. “WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH IT?!”

Your mouth parted open at his words. “What am I supposed to do?” you scoffed. “He’s one of your best friends, and you know I’m not the type to start shit-”

“Well you certainly let it end in shit, don’t you?!” Hoseok spat. His chest heaved as he spoke.

“I don’t let anything happen,” you said through clenched teeth. You felt your defensive walls rising and wrapped your fingers into fists, prepping for the inevitable fight. You knew Hoseok wasn’t really mad at you, he was just projecting, but you had a terrible day and were completely fed up with his shit.

“Yes, you do,” Hoseok growled, stepping towards you. Despite you wanting to stand your ground, you wavered and backed away from him until your back hit the wall. Hoseok pressed his palms into the wall on either side of you, trapping you.

“You know exactly what you do,” he murmured, his voice low and dangerous. “Always wearing those skimpy little outfits, showing as much skin as possible…”

“Those are for YOU!” you yelled, shoving him away. “And wearing shorts and the occasional tank top does not make my outfits SKIMPY!”

You stomped to the other side of the room, still shouting as you went. “And how do my clothing choices warrant Jin flirting with me?! What, don’t have an answer?!”

You whirled around, looking your boyfriend full in the face. “Well, here it is: THEY DON’T!”

Hoseok rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets, tightening his mouth into a pout. He already knew he was in the wrong for saying that. He was just angry and wanting to blame someone for how hurt he was feeling. You didn’t begrudge him that. You did, however, resent the fact that his ‘someone’ was nearly always you. Your boyfriend could really be a child sometimes when it came to taking responsibility.

After a beat of tense silence, Hoseok snorted. “Why did you come over tonight, anyway? I told you tonight was guys’ night, Y/n.”

“Yeah, I know you did,” you replied impatiently. “But I hardly ever see you, Hobi. You’re always at work or dance practice, and I thought since you were home tonight, maybe we could spend at least a little time together.”

“Well, you thought wrong,” he snapped.

Your mouth parted open once more, taken aback. “Seriously? I even brought food for you and the guys! I just wanted to see you!”

Hoseok grabbed his hair with both of his hands, the look in his eyes unhinged. “Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want to see you?!” he shouted. “I mean, god Y/n, you can be so… so…”

Your entire body tensed up as you waited for that next word to drop, your eyes widening as tears pricked at them.

“Clingy.”

And there it was. The verdict you didn’t realize you’d been waiting for. The one word that caused your muscles to unclench and the tears to finally spill over. You angrily swiped at them.

“Y-You think I’m clingy?” you stuttered, taking deep breaths to try and calm yourself. “F-Fine. Then I’ll give you space.”

“Y/n…” Hoseok said weakly, his eyes already filling with regret.

“No!” you said, your voice suddenly strong again. You gulped. “I’ll give you as much goddamn space as you want.”

And with that, you whirled and wrenched open the door, running down the hall, through the kitchen, and into the living room. “Y/n, please!” Hoseok called after you.

Your breath came out in gasping sobs as you struggled to unlock the door. Someone lay a hand on your shoulder, and you jumped, turning to see Namjoon looking at you. Concern filled his eyes. “Y/n, are you okay? I don’t think you should-”

You didn’t bother letting him finish. You ripped the door open and bolted down the hall, sobbing loudly as you sprinted away from all of the hurt, all of the humiliation, and most importantly, all of him.

The next few days passed in a daze. You barely spoke at your job, causing your coworkers to repeatedly ask you if something was wrong. You shut your phone off, sick of getting texts and phone calls from everyone but him. You spent most of the day sleeping, but at night, you lay awake, tears streaming from your eyes. Nothing could make you feel better, not even your favorite tv shows or movies.

Finally, the weekend came. You were wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, gorging on a gallon-size bucket of ice-cream as you watched your favorite romantic comedy for the umpteenth time. You reached over and chucked a pillow at the screen the two main characters kissed and the credits rolled. “That’s not how it ends!” you shouted.

You got up and put the ice-cream back in the freezer, dumping the spoon unceremoniously in the sink. Meandering into the bathroom, you splashed some water on your face and stared at your reflection for a moment. Dark circles covered the skin below your eyes, and your hair was a rats’ nest. You sighed and ran a brush through it, nodding in contentment as it lay at least a little more flat on your head.

You jumped as someone knocked on your door. Who could that be? You shuffled over to the door and pulled it open, eyes widening when you saw who it was. “Hey,” his voice said, cracking on the single syllable. Wow, he must be nervous.

“Hobi,” you said before shaking your head. “I mean, Hoseok. What’re you doing here?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets, giving you a half-hearted smile. “Whaddya mean? I came to see you, of course.”

You looked down at yourself in horror, realizing you were wearing an over-sized t-shirt with several stains on it, leggings covered in cat hair, and… had you even showered today? Not to mention the state of your apartment.

Then again, Hoseok looked nearly as bad as you did. He had on a bucket hat over his hair, which meant it was likely unwashed, and you noticed he didn’t have a speck of color anywhere in his outfit. He must be really depressed. He also had dark circles under his eyes, and his mouth was turned down in that famous shiot frown.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“Oh, uh, sure.” Fuck it. Let him think your place was messy. You had nothing to hide.

He stepped inside and sat on the couch you were just burrito’d on. He motioned for you to sit, and you did so, pulling your blanket over your legs and facing him. “What’s up?” you asked, suddenly nervous.

“I just wanted to say…” he said, and you braced yourself. He wanted to break up. You just knew it.

“...That I was wrong.” You let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. His dark eyes roamed over you, filled with guilty remorse, one corner of his mouth turning up in a hopeful smile.

“I was so wrong, baby girl,” he murmured. Tingles shot down your spine.

Hobi earnestly grabbed my hands with his. “You weren’t to blame for any of it.”

You gently took your hands back, not ready to let him off the hook just yet. “You sure made it out like it was,” you muttered.

Hobi furiously shook his head. “You weren’t. At all. You can wear whatever you want, and it doesn’t give anyone, not even me, the right to make a move on you.”

He scooted close, his hands frantically reaching up and stroking my face. “And please, baby girl, please believe me when I say this,” he begged. “You aren’t clingy. You can come over whenever you want. I never, ever want you to feel like I don’t want you… like I don’t love you… again.”

You bit your lip before turning your face and kissing his palm, tears pricking at your eyes. “I love you too.”

Hoseok let out a sigh, a wide smile forming over his face before he leaned over and pecked you on the lips. “I’m so sorry, baby. Please forgive me?”

“I already have,” you choked out before throwing yourself in his arms.

He peppered your forehead with kisses, letting you sob into his chest. “I know baby, I know,” he murmured, rocking you back and forth. “These last few days have been hell for me too.”

Once you cried it out, Hobi stood up, got a box of tissues and began wiping and kissing your tears away, the way he’d always done and would always do. “I’ll never make you feel like that again,” he promised, his voice determined. “I promise.”

“And I promise to put Jin in his place if he ever tries that again,” you replied, tossing him a watery smile.

Hoseok grinned. “Yeah, about that. The rest of the guys agreed… If he hits on you again, they’re gonna kick his ass out.”

“No shit,” you said, slightly taken aback. You weren’t too surprised, though. The guys were probably pretty sick of all this drama.

“Speaking of them,” Hobi said, standing up and holding out a hand to you. “I have a surprise for you.”

You let him pull you upright, dropping the blanket as you stood, and lead you out into the hall. You gasped as you saw all of the guys standing there, each holding a bouquet of different-colored tulips and grinning. “We’re sorry things got so crazy,” Joon said sincerely. “We promise it won’t happen again. Right, Jin?”

He playfully wacked Jin right in the stomach, causing him to grunt. “Right,” he wheezed, holding his stomach. “I’m sorry Y/n. I promise I’ll never flirt with you again, no matter how drunk I am.”

“You’d better not,” you warned, feeling your heart swell.

Each of the guys traipsed into your apartment, setting down the tulips on the kitchen table until it was full of the beautiful flowers. Namjoon dropped off violet ones, Jungkook had purple ones, Taehyung had green ones, Jimin had yellow ones, Jin had pink ones, and Yoongi had maroon ones. Finally, you turned to see Hobi smiling and offering a single, red rose to you. “My beautiful girl deserves beautiful flowers,” he said. You took the rose and deeply inhaled its scent.

“Awwww,” Taehyung teased. You all laughed and the guys circled around you, wrapping you in the sweetest group hug you’d ever had.

“I love you guys,” you sniffled. “Thank you.”

“We love you. We don’t ever want you and Hobi hyung to break up,” Jungkook said, and the others murmured their agreement.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Hobi said, waving his roommates off. “You guys gotta get out, she’s gotta get ready.”

“For what?” you asked, blinking in surprise.

He waggled his eyebrows mischievously. “For the best date ever.”

You laughed, then pressed your hands to your mouth, feeling happy tears well up once again as the guys left and shut the door behind them. Hobi clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Uh-uh, none of that,” he murmured, drawing your chin up and brushing your lips with his. “You’ve shed enough tears.”

He hugged you tight, and you let him hold you, pressing your face into his chest as you inhaled his familiar, sunshine scent. Even though things had looked completely shitty before, you knew that this was a huge stepping stone in your relationship to bigger and better things. You knew this fight would lead to nothing but happiness, and that in a few weeks, you probably wouldn’t even remember what you fought over. You loved Hoseok, and he loved you, and there was nothing else in the world that mattered.

[unadulterated-strawberryniall]

Normal People, Abnormal Jobs. [Chapter 3]

Normal People, Abnormal Jobs. Relationships in the entertainment industry are never easy. Scheduling is nearly impossible, paparazzi hound you down every date, and everyone seems to weigh in their opinion. Is it possible to have a soulmate with such a demanding career?

Loosely inspired by the 2020 Hulu drama, Normal People, this story explores the possibility of finding true love in a world motivated by reputation, scandal, and money. Touching on themes of love, mental health, and adulthood, Normal People, Abnormal Jobs navigates how two musicians from opposing worlds maneuver a destiny that consistently pulls them together. It’s challenging, yes, but if it’s true love, it’s worth it.

Chapter 1. Chapter 2.

The next few weeks passed in a blur. News of my performance had made the rounds, and Shane made sure my exposure didn’t die down in the slightest. I’d been traveling around the country, making radio and television performances, performing pop up shows, and hosting meet and greets with fans I hadn’t seen in too long. Lucky for me, having a packed schedule was enough to keep my mind occupied so I wasn’t able to focus on my anxieties. I also tried not to think about… Niall.

“Did we sleep together or something?” I jumped out of bed, my tongue jamming against the roof of my mouth and my gag reflex ready to burst at any second.

Niall sat up slowly. “No, of course not. Ya said you didn’t want t’ be alone last night. I didn’t think you should be alone either. I watched ya sleep.” He rubbed his eyes, where I noticed dark circles had formed.

“Oh…” My jaw unclenched. “Well, thank you.”

A silence surrounded us as we stared at each other.

“I have to start getting ready. I have my interviews.” I rubbed the back of my neck, which was beginning to grow warm. “You can stay here and sleep, if you want. You look tired.”

“Put yer number in me phone.” Niall reached in his pocket and chucked his phone over to the side of the bed I was standing near. He settled back into the bed, blinking at me.

“That’s not a good idea.” I felt my gag reflex beginning to creep up again. “I’m not… We can’t.” I shook my head.

I couldn’t tell if Niall was just too tired to argue, or if he was respecting my decision, but he shrugged slowly and closed his eyes. 

The memory played over and over in my head. It made my stomach twist and turn. For someone with an intense phobia of vomiting, I sure spent a lot of time with stomach issues over my fear of vomiting.

I’d made my way around the country, hitting many of the major cities before returning home to LA. It felt nice to be on the road again, exploring cities I hadn’t been to in so long. Post-Pandemic world was much friendlier than I imagined. People seemed happy just to interact with strangers, as we all realized we’d taken social interaction for granted. I realized how much serenity traveling brought me. The ability to have an ever changing surrounding kept my mind active. Not to mention I would make it a point to learn an interesting fact about every city.

As nice as it would be to return home, I was a little upset as I boarded my flight back to Los Angeles. I had one final radio appearance, a coveted interview with Ryan Seacrest at KIIS-FM. Shane didn’t seem to want to disclose many details as I pestered him on how he secluded such a coveted spot, so I decided not to press it further. I thanked him once again for his hard work, and let my mind wonder about the possible questions I’d have to answer. Most of the radio stations asked the same questions, but Ryan had been known to create fun segments and ask obscure questions, leading me to feel excited for the following morning.

Friday morning in late September in Los Angeles was warm and misty. I woke up early to go for a quick jog around the neighborhood before heading to Ryan’s morning show. The concept of sleeping in for the weekend grew more and more exciting as it dawned on me that I had no real schedule lined up after this interview. 

The drive to the studio was surprisingly easy, considering Los Angeles’s propensity for traffic. Perhaps it was a good omen. A successful interview could mean a lot, not only to the listeners, but also to my team, my record label, and any members of the industry that were considering me for future appearances and awards. I was heavily trained in media and public relations, perfectly dodging and rerouting the invasive and extensive questions interviewers asked me. I knew how to make my answers sound polite and refined but without losing the quality of ‘realness’ that my fans loved. Shane believed this was my greatest talent overall, noting there was never a question he could get by me, even though he knew me like the back of his hand.

“Mina, it’s been too long! We missed you. You’ve been doing big things!” Ryan enveloped me into a hug and I gave him a pat on the back. He could sound superficial at times, but the man truly had a heart of gold. He took a seat in front of his microphone, pulling his headphones over his ears, and preparing for the morning show to start. I took my own seat, watching as one of his producers flashed a warning that the show was about to go live.

“In 5… 4… 3… 2…”

“Good morning Los Angeles! We’ve got a busy morning on this beautiful Friday. Not one but two celebrity guests for me to interview. First, we have Mina Peace, right off from her career changing performance at New York’s Gov Ball Festival. We’ll hear from her in just a minute. Later down the road, we have Niall Horan in studio to answer some of your questions about his next tour.”

My heart sunk into my stomach. No wonder why Shane was iffy on the details. I’d let it slip to him that I had seen Niall at the after party. I didn’t go into detail about the night, but Shane, an expert on my body language, pretty much decoded that feelings were brewing deep in my core.

Ryan and I began to chat about the standard topics- touring, recording an album, my songwriting process. I felt rehearsed answers falling out of my mouth as I couldn’t concentrate very well. Suddenly, I heard a door open from behind me and some commotion occurring.

“Mr. Seacrest, I couldn’t wait to see ya!” Niall chorused, taking a seat directly across from me and grabbing his own pair of headphones. Ryan began to laugh. “Ya can’t have me waitin’ around. I know ya like to play hard to get, but not like dis.”

I felt my palms growing sweaty.

“Mina, have you met Niall?” Ryan grinned at me.

My mouth opened slightly, unsure of what to say. I was still in shock Niall and I were in the same room to begin with.

“We actually met at Gov Ball!” Niall chimed in. “She performed right before me. Legend.” He grinned, extending his foot under the table to graze against mine for a millisecond.

I squeezed my hands together, the recurring feeling of nausea growing inside of me. I looked out the studio window to see Shane staring at me from the hallway, giving me a thumbs up. His eyes looked apologetic, but he gave me a reassuring smile.

I took a deep breath. “Yeah, I didn’t get a chance to see his performance, but we bumped into each other before my set.” I felt the grip in my hands loosening as I relaxed my shoulders. “Or should I say… his soccer ball bumped into my shin.”

Niall grinned. “I told you, petal, it’s football!”

Ryan laughed. “You guys clearly have a nice little friendship going on! Do you think you’d ever collaborate?”

“Dat would be wicked.” Niall winked at me.

“I don’t know, Ryan. Not sure if Niall can keep up with me.” I winked back.

Ryan’s mouth dropped as the rest of the team reduced to laughter. “Look at you two!” He was clearly loving the antics the two of us were bringing to his show, along with the thousands of listeners.

The more we chatted, the more the knot in my stomach loosened. Perhaps it was because I knew Shane was just feet away, or maybe because the more I listened to Niall’s voice, sweet as honey and warm as fire embers, the more I became comfortable around him. As the interview came to a close, Ryan exclaimed how time had gotten away from him, and he was too caught up in our conversation to ask a fair few of the questions he was intending to. A smile radiated on my face from within me as Ryan pulled off his headphones and began chatting to Niall. I looked to see Shane staring at me intensely, and motioning for me to come outside.

“We need to talk.” Shane grabbed my wrist, pulling me into one of the empty rooms down the hall. “You can’t be seen with him.”

“Wha-”

“This is going to destroy everything we’ve built up, Mina. You both are from different circles. I know you like him, but your career is more important. Think of who he’s been seen with. Julia Michaels, Ashe, Hailee Steinfeld. Now think about you. Machine Gun Kelly, Alex Gaskarth, Yungblud. You’re not the same. When people blend like this, the lines get blurred, the public gets confused, and you lose it all.”

I stared at Shane as his eyes pierced into mine.

“Think about everyone who relies on you. Your crew, the label, me.” He took a breath. “Don’t do this, Mina. Get out while you still can.” And with that, he exited the room without giving me a chance to respond.

I had to imagine that this conversation hurt Shane as much as it hurt me. He put up a cold front, but in reality, he was one of the softest and most caring men I’d ever known. But it didn’t matter to me anymore. I felt heat bubble inside of me. I didn’t care about what Shane had to say. I wanted Niall.

My feet carried me through the hallways as my mind felt blurry. It felt like I was walking on air. I could only think of one thing. After scanning the rooms, I finally found my destination. Niall was sitting on a couch, idly strumming a guitar, with his back facing me. I heard him humming something, mumbling softly, and gravity pulled me closer to him.

I walked over to him, and he looked up to see me standing directly in front of him. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. My lips crashed onto his as I leaned down, placing my hands on his chest. He quickly laid his guitar down against the couch, allowing me to crawl into his lap.

“I really love you, I do.” I breathed out. “I’m not just saying that.”

[unchartedterritoria]

Dangerous (Sam Drake x OC) - Chapter 31

NEW CHAPTER!!

Previous Chapters:  

Chapter 1 * Chapter 2 * Chapter 3 * Chapter 4 * Chapter 5* Chapter 6* Chapter 7 * Chapter 8 * Chapter 9 * Chapter 10 * Chapter 11 * Chapter 12 * Chapter 13 * Chapter 14 * Chapter 15 * Chapter 16 * Chapter 17 * Chapter 18 * Chapter 19 * Chapter 20 * Chapter 21 * Chapter 22 * Chapter 23* Chapter 24 * Chapter 25 * Chapter 26 * Chapter 27 * Chapter 28 * Chapter 29 * Chapter 30

As always, you can read the story thus far on A03  HERE

Tags: @jodiereedus22, @shambhalala, @missdictatorme​ @bechobbi​ @the-winchesterboys

Reviews and comments are always appreciated!

The first sign of dawn began to show itself on the open ocean of the Gulf. Like a sleeping eye tentatively raising its lid, a small hint of light shown in the east. A subtle blue pushing its way through the dark night. Lighter colors began to follow suit, an array of purples, pinks, and oranges that looked like sand art spread across the sky. Each new tone emerging quicker and transforming to another before the edge of the bright sun shone on the horizon.

It was breathtaking, and at that moment, Sam Drake didn't give two shits about it.

His mind was focused on revenge and redemption. He had made three promises. He had made a promise to Victor he was going to keep Faith safe. He failed. He made a promise to Faith; he would help her find the answers she wanted. He failed. Lastly, he had made a promise to himself that he wouldn't get attached to Faith, to the situation. Once again, he had failed. An angry red mist had settled over his thoughts, his plan to just storm through the front of the fort, guns blazing—a hail of bullets taking out everything and everyone in his path.

“There she is,” The gravel of Sully's voice over the growl of the plane engines pulled Sam back to reality.

Sam's eyes focused on the discolored blotch in the distance. A brick blob floating in the vast blue ocean. As they approached, it began to take shape, a massive brick hexagon, encircled by a moat and a ring of land that looked to serve as a port for ferries, seaplanes, and a walking trail for tourists. A cistern and weathered pikes, remnants of an old jetty no doubt, sat in the water along two sides of the path.

"You sure this is how you wanna go in, kid?"

Sam's vision remained unwavering on the approaching building.

"Just get me down to that dock," Sam answered, his voice almost zen-like.

The landing gear of the plane cut quietly through the crystal water as Sully brought the plane down gently with an experienced hand. Sam was up and out of his seat in an instant.

“How long you think we got til Jasper's guys get here?” Sam asked, checking the holster at the small of his back he slipped his 9MM in, securing it with a snap.

"Couple hours, if we're lucky. It's a lot of island to search, and he'll want them to get an early start. I'll monitor the chatter, update you if I hear anything," Sully said, driving the plane up to the dock. Sam nodded absently in agreement.

A small scrap of land a thousand meters from the fort stood its old, yet still maintained, lighthouse. Though even cared for, evidence by new dock planks and fresh paint, the island itself was overgrown thick with lush plant life. Mangroves and manchineel grew high and wide, obscuring whatever paths lay on the ground.

“Put the plane near the lighthouse, I'll let you know when we're coming out,” Sam said, taking his favorite gun in hand. He popped the door of the plane open.

“Wait, wait, wait a minute,” Sully pivoted in the worn vinyl seat.

“What?”

"That's all you're taking with you? You got all that firepower, and you're just gonna bring in those two pistols?" Victor jutted his chin towards the gun in Sam's hand.

“With any luck, that's all I'll need,” Sam let sardonic grin pull at the corner of his mouth.

“Since when have you had luck?” Sully snorted, making Sam frown momentarily.

“That's why I got Plan B.”

“And what's Plan B?” Sully asked, chucking a small walkie-talkie to Sam. He clipped it to his back pocket.

“Just trust me.”

Ready.

Sam clenched his jaw, a determined sigh jetting through his nostrils.

"I'm gonna make this right, Victor," Sam said, a quiet declaration to both Sullivan and himself.

“I know you will.”

Sam jumped from the plane down onto the dock below him.

"Just be careful of the crocodile," Victor added.

Sam's nose wrinkled.

“Crocodile?”

"Go," Sully commanded, revving the plane's motors, signal that any further discussion of this warning was over. Sam, albeit a little confused, slammed the metal door on the plane shut, giving the old girl a couple pats for good luck.

Alright, Drake, let's go get our girl. The last of the sentence in his head formed spontaneously. He wanted it to be right, part of him did, but the truth of the matter hit him like a mule kick to the gut. It was wrong. With what he had done, she would never be his. There could be no forgiveness on her part or even to himself. He was right; this was a mission of redemption, but with it would follow a hollow ending. Though he could make the world safe for Faith again, he could never set it right for her and give back what he had taken. His existence was like an unknown toxin in her life, corrupting each person around her he touched like a cancer, growing, consuming all grace. If he could take it, purge it from her system, purge him completely from her life. If he set this right and disappeared, it could finally be a cure where she could start over. She deserved that.

The building before him was old, massive, and intimidating, not to mention giving a whole new meaning to the phrase, 'middle of nowhere.' The delicate thwack of the water's waves mixing with the hissing winds through the giant archways echoed; A foreboding acoustic mix that did nothing but add to the feeling of intimidation creeping up Sam's back.

So, to fight it off, he did the only thing he knew to do. Sam Drake shook a smoke from his pack, lit it with a quick flip of his lighter, cocked his gun, and started walking forward.

He hiked over the packed gravel bridge that spanned the width of the fortresses moat, a large ring of water clear enough to call its identity as a moat into question.

The day's heat and humidity had already started to rise. He felt a damp film of cool sweat tickle his lower back as he entered the fort, the masonry retaining its coolness of the night. Sam passed in front of the empty guard station and a small sunken room off the central passage that acted as a gift shop. He reached the end of the main entrance, the concrete parting wide and grand to usher Sam into the fort's sprawling courtyard.

Scrub grass crawled over the sandy surface, yellowing or balding patches pockmarking the ground's attempt at healthy green growth. Ruins of red brick walls clawed up through the grass, trying to give shape to what was once some military building. The occasional palm tree swaying to its own music. It was a vast open space that had been stripped of anything useful to society over time, leaving the big building feeling naked and sad.

Sam stood quietly while he scanned the courtyard for any sign of Nox or his men. The smoke from the cigarette between his fingers swirled gently up his arm—the sounds in the air nothing but waves and the occasional squawk from an island bird. Sam allowed himself one last long drag before blowing large unsettled plumes out of his nostrils and crunching the rest of it under his boot. He took a couple of steps back into the main doorway and grabbed a glossy brochure from in front of the gift shop alcove, shaking it open while he walked towards the light of the courtyard.

Sam stared at the commercially colorized map.

"Faith does love a good map," He muttered under his breath as his eyes ran over the glossy commercial colors. The sound of her name dripping from his lips, a sweet rain that used to make him grin now single-handedly enveloping him in a cloud of shame. Sam shook it off. Like most touristy maps, it highlighted the main focal points and prominent locations within the fort, ruins of the artillery shed, the cistern, the officers quarters, and the second floor at the end of a long hallway, the cell of its most famous guest. Knowing Jasper's penchant for drama and theatrics, Sam already knew that's where he would find Faith.

He crumpled the map and shoved it into his back pocket and headed for it at a jog. Sam hurdled over the sill of one of the inner archways and inside the running ring of the fort. Dirt and sand crackled under his boots as he passed arches, all in different states of erosion. Some of the more decrepit reduced to nothing but a craggy, terrifying gap dropping off into the courtyard or the sea. Yellow caution tape had been haphazardly strung across their width and pieces of orange, plastic snow fence pieced across them—enough of a precautionary measure to avoid a lawsuit. Sam passed loose bricks and pieces of rebar, scant evidence of some sort of restoration effort that had occurred at a point in time. The hallway veered right, leading him to a way up. The staircase was dark, narrow, and spiraling, enough room for him but indeed not wide enough for two people side by side. Circling tightly and encased in concrete, it revolved only one and a half times before spitting the climber out on the second floor. It was a claustrophobics nightmare.

Before he could mount the stairs, the clatter of falling gravel on the steps above him gave him pause. Hearing faint movements but no conversation, he hoped it was just one guard. Slinking his way up the stairs, Sam kept his gun raised, and his back pressed flat against the wall. Reaching the top, he peeked around the corner.

One guard was pacing slowly around a set of arches, his sidearm still sitting idle in its holster. The guard dragged the toe of his black workboot through the sand like a mandala, creating swirls and patterns. He let out a sudden, vicious sneeze. His foot twitched and spasmed, ruining his budding work of art. Frowning in disappointment, he swiped his foot through the rest until all that remained of his art, just a pile of silt, dirt, and sand. Sam watched it all silently from the staircase.

Got some real winners employed here, Jasper, He thought, stowing his gun as he watched the guard leaning against the side of a stable arch, his gaze fixed on the ocean in front of him. Seizing the moment, Sam emerged from his hiding spot and, with one quick kick, swept the officer's leaning legs out from underneath him. He landed on the ground with a harsh thud, his face slack with surprise until a firm boot to the jaw from Sam rendered him unconscious.

Sam dashed soundlessly along the hallway, ears pricked up, eyes darting and alert. He reached the end of the hall and its staircase to the next floor without incident. Sam eagerly ran up the stairs, taking two at a time-

THUMP!

A solid mass of a man slammed into his chest, the moment catching both of them off-guard. Sam hit the back of the concrete capsule and rolled down along the wall, the edge of the stairs bit into his hip as he slid until he spilled back out onto the ground floor. Sam righted himself, scooting backward as the large guard emerged from the shade of the staircase.

“Jesus, you're a big fella now, aren't ya?” Sam quipped. The massive man approached, adjusting his belt.

"Well, you know what they say, 'the bigger they are...," Sam prompted raising one foot, thrusting it towards the guard's knee. A moment before he could make contact, the guard swooped down with quick cat reflexes and grabbed Sam's boot.

"Ah, shit."

The man jerked Sam's leg violently sideways, the tendons and nerves in his ankle and knee strained and screamed with pain. Sam yelled as his other foot shot out with pure reflex. The blow landed in the guard's ample stomach, making him double over. The burly man's retching gave Sam the window he needed to slither away from his grasp. He was trying to reach the closest archway to get himself to his feet when a large boot slammed into his lower back.

Sam wheezed a curse and rolled awkwardly towards the wall, trying to lessen the blows of the quick kicks being administered to his stomach. Able to reach the eroded bottom of an archway along the wall, Sam grabbed frantically for a rock, a pipe, anything useful. Settling on a grapefruit-size chunk of concrete, he whipped it at the guard. The rock thudded against the zipper of his crotch, sending him hard to his knees. Sam steadied himself upright. Back on his feet, he landed a right hook in the sweet spot, knocking the big guy out cold.

“Shit, why do they always have to go for the same knee?” He grumbled between heavy breaths. Sam worked it back and forth and tested putting pressure on it. He took a few hobbling steps as he batted the dust off himself and feeling for his gun still stored beneath his red overshirt. The pain amounted to all of a gnawing ache, nothing that his body hadn't felt and dealt with before.

The view from the arches passed like shuttering frames of film as Sam jogged towards his final set of stairs. The fort was still quiet, Jasper and the rest of his goons tucked away for now. Not knowing exactly how many men Jasper had already on the island, not to mention how many he had incoming that day, Sam planned on saving his bullets until he had no choice but to start shooting, something entirely not his style. He took the last staircase with more caution than the last; his ears were still raised for any sounds of people. The narrow opening from the stairs gave way to one last row of arches, all almost all intact. A massive oak door faced him from the other end, a large worn beam securely seated to hold the door closed.

An all too familiar sign hung above the door, the words on it making his stomach churn.

Whoso Entereth Here Leaveth All Hopes Behind.

Mudd's cell. Faith.

The realization of how close he was to her drew him like a high powered magnet. Sam raced towards the door, heart pounding, the ache in his knee forgotten. He just needed to get her out.

Sam grabbed just underneath the center of the beam that was keeping him out. The veins on his forearms strained against his tanned skin as he tried desperately to lift the substantial chunk of wood. Sweat coated his palms, and the erosion of smoothed wood worked against him, the locking beam barely creaked in its cradle.

"Shit!" He swore loudly. Sam looked around wildly for something, anything that could be used to aid him in opening the door. The quick search produced nothing but a couple chunks of masonry and the remnants of a bag of mortar, the bag torn and scratched open—Nothing at all useful.

Sam's frustration and anger grew with every attempt to open the door. He was so close, this godforsaken door his last hurdle. In one last rage-fueled action, Sam slammed his shoulder up underneath the end of the log. Phantom silver flecks flashed beneath his closed eyes as he strained against the wood.

"Please. God. Move...you...mother.." Sam commanded through gritted teeth, his whole body vibrating as he called on every ounce of energy he had. Sam finally felt the one side of the log begin to give. Sam slid himself under the end and, with all his might, and a groaning, yelling swear, unseated the beam as thunked to the floor, missing Sam's toes by a scant inch.

No wonder it took both me and Nathan to open doors and shit in Libertalia.

Sam grabbed ahold of the large, iron ring and pulled, the door coming open with the hinges offering only a minor protesting squeak.

The adrenaline in his veins came to a sudden stop, along with his breathing.

He thought he was looking at himself in Panama.

The cell was small, with one small window, like his. Instead of humid sweat and sewage, this smelled of ocean salt and mildew. No cot, no sink, no bucket. Just a cement drain to keep the blood from pooling. The cells they stuck you in after un achicalada, to reflect, to repent, and to bleed. Hideyholes for the guard's handiwork kept you all tucked away until one could stand, walk, possibly breathe through their own nose again. From experience, Sam remembered relishing in the coolness of the concrete and eventually passing out against it, trying like hell not to lose your mind.

Sam snapped back to the present.

Faith had passed out against the back wall at some point in the night. The side of her body leaned against the concrete, her chin tucked to her chest. Dried blood flaked around her mouth and her nostrils, which whistled desperately for air. Judging by the familiar sound, Sam could guess her nose was more than likely broken. Sam's brow furrowed as he gingerly lifted her arm. Her knuckles were red and angry while the meat of her hands was so swollen, her rings squeezed into flesh that was a massive purplish bruise. Her arms and legs were covered in welts, bloody, torn open raggedly, and blistering burns that already starting to weep and go raw. Sam bit the insides of his cheeks.

Jesus Sweetheart, what the hell did they do to you? Sam thought, his stomach knotted as he looked at every burn, welt, cut, bruise and puncture mark, knowing the amount of time this kind of pain took to inflict.

Sam put her arm back down gently against her legs, which looked to have gotten the same attention as her upper body.

I gotta get her out of here. If her outside looks like this, who knows what her goddamn insides could look like.

“Faith," He called her name quietly. His hand hesitated in the air, settling on the side of her neck and running his hand across her shoulder. A site that looked like it hadn't seen much damage.

He called her name again a little louder, resisting the urge to pick her up and just haul ass out of there. If they ran into trouble, he knew he couldn't shoot and carry her at the same time. And she was in no condition to shoot for him.

Faith's eyebrows twitched violently at the third call of her name. Her eyes flew open as she took in a breath and began to cough like a woman drowning in a dream. The pain in her head made her eyes shut tight again while she gingerly brought her hands to her temple, her hands barely making contact.

“Faith, it's me,” Sam said gently.

The cloud around Faith's brain made her ears ring, her head roar, and her face scream. Through it, she thought she heard Sam's voice. Truth be told, she had been hearing it all night in micro dreams where they were still in their hotel room, each with a beer in hand, none of this or any of what Jasper said, having taken place. All a bad dream. If I was only so lucky, she had thought miserably during the night. But this voice was clearer, closer, and was delicately stroking her neck.

Faith let her hands drop slowly, a curtain reveal to see if this was just another trick of her imagination. She saw his eyes, the hazel that was usually bright and bursting with golden tones now a deep green-brown like a muddy lawn.

"Sam?" Her voice croaked out his name, and Sam thought there was no sweeter sound on this Earth.

"Yeah, sweetheart, it's me. It's me. Let's get you out of here, alright?"

Sam saw Faith's face darken and knew something wasn't right.

Words flew through Faith's fogged brain. Some old. Some new.

Sam Drake caused this.

After all the misery Samuel Drake has caused to you and your family...

What happened to your father was his fault.

How in the world can you trust that man...

What happened to your mother was his fault.

Now myself, personally, I couldn’t do it...

What happened to you is also his fault.

Arthur Bixby and Jasper Nox's voice playing in her head. A hellish, harmony, doubting tune she couldn't shake.

Faith batted away Sam's hand and coward against the wall. A constant chant of 'no, no, no' dribbled from her lips as she inched her way back into the corner with her heels.

Sam backed away slowly as she did. He stood and watched as Faith returned herself into the safety of the corner of the room, her knees brought to her chest, her face cowering behind her arms. She looked like a kicked puppy, scared to move, untrusting the hand in front of it held out in friendship.

An onyx Eagle came from behind to rest of Sam's shoulder.

"Now what on God's green Earth makes you believe she would go runnin' back into the arms of a murderer? Especially yours?"

[illgiveyoumygavichal]

I don’t know why I wrote this, or why I wrote so much. Gomen.

So I just re-watched The Scene while I’m actually awake and coherent and I blasted the volume with my headset so I could hear every little thing and while it’s pretty clear they were filmed separately(?) from a writers point of view, the dialogue and reactions made sense --- not the ‘all gays go to super-hell’-bit... there’s no excusing that, but it was foreshadowed a long while ago (hence why I’m not 100% surprised that The Scene even happened since it was obvious that the character in questions’ ‘moment of true happiness’ would be a confession the moment the deal was made. I still think they’ll end on a ‘reset the universe back to point A to prevent point B’-type to just be like... well you already know the story so even if it’s ending, it’s not really ending but going on and on and on in a paradox because the whole show is convoluted what with the time-travel and parallel universes and other dimensions and shit. 

Not my point, I started rambling. Uh... Click the ‘read more’ for more? Gods, I can’t believe this is what spurred a real-ass post from me...

If anyone wants to discuss this, please do. But don’t be an ass about it please, I’m just here to have a discussion. 

Anyways, Jensen’s acting was flat. Like he wasn’t into the script at all. Like he totally believed that this went completely against the character he’s supposed to play - and he’s not really wrong, but you can see this a lot in movies and tv shows where the actors disagree with the writing and direction that it’s reflected in their performance. 

While this scene in particular seems like the actors were shot apart and chopped together, I think they were both very much in the know about the script. Misha gave it his all, you could hear him thanking the audience for watching his performance. His in-character confession was just as much his ‘thank you’ and it shows - but while his whole speech was likely one good take (probably after a long day, especially since every one working on this show had to work around covid-19 safety procedures) Jensen’s was probably multiple takes, with the good shots being chosen and patched together to make him seem a least a little like he isn’t completely refusing the script. 

As for the characters and the writing, it worked. Now I’m no expert in homosexual relationships but I’m very queer, as is my s/o, so I’m gonna try to not stick my foot in my mouth for this part. While homophobia is in no way acceptable, it’s understandable why Jensen isn’t into this particular pairing: The fandom shoved it down his throat, down the producers throats, until it was made canon. One thing that sucks the life out of creators is self-entitled fans. Yeah it’s nice to show your support and love of a content, but you shouldn’t be shoving your ideals for the content into the creators faces. It’s just uncouth.

Rambled again, sorry. 

Cas’ speech was wonderful. He clarified his love for Dean by leveling his love for everyone and everything first, and then showing how his love for Dean was stronger than those - but stronger because of them. This way, in describing the care and love he has, Cas can be sure Dean understands that his love for him is a different kind of love without worrying about Dean being confused about his meaning when he’s already gone. Sorry I’m trying to figure out how to word this. 

An example for clarification: A tells B they love them, but then they leave/die/whatever, and without clarification B might assume that it was a familial/platonic love - like saying you love your parent/sibling/friend. However, if A prefaced with a confirmation of familial love to B and then confessed their love for B, there is a better chance for understanding. 

And from the way we see Dean shut down after the Empty takes Cas and Billie, completely ignoring Sam’s calls (which, after what he just learned from Billie as well as knowing Sam is in pain from losing Eileen - and everyone - is abnormal) in addition to not really moving from where he was thrown and burying his face - while SOBBING - I think it’s safe to assume he understood Cas’ confession as something more than family. Like, we’ve seen them ‘lose’ Cas before and Dean wasn’t as broken up about it as he was this time. Sure he was angry, but he’s always angry - but this time he isn’t angry. 

Additionally, Dean didn’t outright reject Cas. He said “Don’t do this, Cas.” Which could easily be interpreted as ‘how fucking dare you confess to me when you’re about to die, thus immediately breaking my heart’ - which, if you’re really reaching for straws, could be a ‘wow, so my feelings would’ve been reciprocated if I actually had the balls to confess - not that it matters because apparently if I did confess you’d literally be so happy you would die.’ Ultimately, it’s a lose-lose-lose situation. 

To add on to Sam’s phone call, when we see him hang up after leaving the silo we could assume he first tried calling Cas and then called Dean meaning that since Cas was taken, Dean sat there disassociating and trying to figure out wtf just happened when Sam snapped him back to reality - thus interrupting his compartmentalizing and forcing him to feel, because Dean hates feelings. 

And yeah, the whole ‘Bury your Gays’ trope is shitty, but this is Supernatural: a horror-drama tv show where People Die and unfortunately, because most of the characters that die are side characters, the queers die mostly because they’re side characters and side characters are expendable. It fucking sucks, especially now that they are using LGBTQIA+ to boost their views at the END OF THE SERIES. Honestly, would be more acceptable to have it be a thing a few seasons ago, but they also have to work with the actors to even produce the show - and if the staring actor isn’t comfortable with certain themes, they can’t really force him without the show crashing and burning - which, in good old capitalism, a little homophobia to conserve their money-maker is normal. I don’t even know where I’m going with this. 

Luckily, this is Supernatural, and Supernatural doesn’t like leaving people dead - even at the end of the series. There are a few possible endings they could go with, but through speculation there could be more without noticing.

A) Chuck taunts the brothers, probably tortures them more just ‘cause, before simply ending everything.

B) Amara somehow takes over Chuck - or they properly combine and suddenly remember why they made everything. 

C) The boys give up and accept their fate.

D) The boys don’t give up and go out fighting. 

E) Somehow they negotiate with Chuck and exchange themselves for everyone else. 

F) Chuck hits the reset button, and this time he’ll make the boys more controllable. 

G) The boys kill Chuck, but in the sudden power imbalance, the universe eliminates all supernatural beings and just create a mundane world - whether the boys are part of the world or not is up in the air. 

H) Everyone is in the Empty now cause there’s no place left to exist but the Empty - since for some reason the Empty is more limbo than purgatory, but it makes sense. 

I) The Empty is piiiiiissssssssed that Chuck suddenly made everything stop existing and then eats Chuck because Chuck will be loud making new things - or because Chuck will be a threat to the Empty... or he just wont let the Empty sleep. God what even is the Empty?  Like, really, shouldn’t they be all-powerful - moreso than Chuck - since, without God there is nothing and without anything existing wouldn’t everything/nothing be Empty?

J) Empty eats Chuck 2020 - and the show ends just like that. 

K) Chuck, to prevent being eaten by the Empty, brings everything back to put some cushion between him and the Empty - or gets the boys to kill the Empty in exchange for their world back sans God. (Their own little playpen that they can do whatever they want with.) 

L) Dean kills Chuck with Death’s Scythe. 

M) Sam and Dean somehow kill Chuck and in the power imbalance, replace him. (I’ve had this theory - unspoken though - before where Dean becomes head honcho in Heaven or Hell and Sam takes the other spot, no luck on this one yet.) 

Either way, two episodes left to find out what the fuck is going on. 

Next episode will be dramatic and sad as Sam, Dean and Jack reconvene - probably with Sam and Jack stopping Dean from giving up. Also, Jack will probably get dusted too - I’m surprised he didn’t go at the end there. 

HONESTLY by the title of the episode, I think option K if more likely... but Chuck will probably be like... yeah here take it idgaf anymore. The road home will be very epilogue-y with flashbacks and shit to tie everything up and be all ‘They lived happily ever after.’ 

I don’t even know anymore... why can I write this much over a stupid show but not for like... a book or something. 

[orionsangel86]

Vicious Circles - Part 3

Where things come to ahead in this alternate 15x09 fic.

(Also on AO3)

 “Do you know what I love most about humans? You’re all so damn hopeful. So desperately clinging on to this idea that you’ll get a happy ending. It pleases me. Of course, you are all deluding yourselves. I didn’t create this world, or any of the others, to be happy. Life, as I’ve created it, is tough. It’s tragic. All men must die in the end. And the best stories? The ones that really stay with you? They are full of suffering, and of men going to extreme lengths to defeat death, only to end in a poetic tragedy anyway. Because that’s life after all.

 Don’t you agree, Sam?”

 Sam had been tied to this chair for hours. His head was still fuzzy from Chuck’s mind games, but he had managed to get a good idea of his surroundings. It looked like a casino? But the scent of blood was thick in the air, and aside from Chuck’s voice, the room was filled with silence. No bells or chimes from the slot machines, no clattering of dice on the table, no shuffling of cards. Whatever happened here, it wasn’t good. Eileen still sat opposite to him, also tied with her hands behind her back. Her expression was full of concern and fear.

 Chuck was staring at Sam, impatiently waiting for an answer. Sam blinked.

 “What? I don’t care Chuck. If you want your story to continue so badly, then let us go so we can keep playing it out.”

 Chuck rolled his eyes.

 “Ah, but then you’d just keep trying to find a way to stop me. Which you won’t be able to do, because I’m God.” He smirked, and Sam glared at him defiantly.

 “If that was true, then we wouldn’t be here, tied up, having to listen to your bullshit right now.”

 Chuck’s grin dropped, and he leaned in close to Sam, their noses practically touching.

 “You ought to show me some respect. I own you, Sam. Don’t underestimate me. Or my power.”

 He stood up straight and picked up a pink-coloured drink, swirling it around before taking a sip.

 “The reason you and your little friend are here Sam is because I was hoping to talk some sense into you. To encourage you to get back on script. Seeing as you didn’t take my advice before, it seemed more forceful measures were necessary.”

 Chuck glanced at Eileen, who had been sitting quietly, watching him and reading his lips.

 “For instance, I know that you’ve taken quite a liking to this pretty lady.” He reached out and stroked Eileen’s cheek making her recoil in disgust. “Bringing her back, that was off-script.”

 Chuck sighed dramatically and took another sip of his drink.

 “You know, when I first wrote magic into the story, when I decided that it might be cool to have some loopholes, some cheat codes to my world… it was always supposed to be limited to a select few witches, and always in a way that would ultimately doom them. Like magical karma. You wanna play around with my universe, you better be prepared to pay the price.

 Some, like Rowena…well, I turned a blind eye for a long time.” Chuck shook his head, and Sam felt a chill run through him. He glanced at Eileen who was shifting in her chair, clearly trying to break free of her bonds.

 “My biggest issue was when magic started to interfere with my starring characters. Those loopholes… they weren’t for yours or Dean’s use. Especially not when it allowed you to take the story in the wrong direction.”

 Chuck was distracted with his monologue, and Sam’s eyes darted between him and Eileen, who was signalling him to keep Chuck’s attention on him. To keep him talking.

 “But surely a story with magic, and getting us to believe we can manipulate or beat the system, is more interesting? Has more depth?” Sam asked.

 Chuck nodded thoughtfully.

 “Perhaps you’re right,” he said.

 Eileen had managed to get her hands free and shook herself out of the rope bonds. Chuck wasn’t looking, instead, he was smirking at Sam.

 “But only to a point. Bringing back people for your own selfish benefit, who have no place in my story, though…”

 Eileen had managed to jump up and pull out a concealed knife. She made a run at Chuck and--

 Chuck held out an arm, freezing Eileen on the spot.

 “…that’s something that I plan to correct.” He stared at Eileen with cold, angry eyes and a sinister smile on his lips. He had known what she was planning all along. Sam yelled her name and struggled with his bonds.

 “Chuck, please! Let her go! This is nothing to do with her. Just let her leave, and you can do whatever you like with me.”

 Chuck sighed. “You’re just not getting it, are you Sam? Didn’t you pay attention to the vision? To the other versions of you that I know you saw… My various drafts, all the different ways it could have ended for you and Dean?”

 “What has any of that got to do with Eileen?! She’s not a part of this!” Sam pleaded.

 “That’s right. Exactly! She’s not a part of this. She doesn’t belong in this story.”

 Sam looked desperately between Chuck and Eileen. “No. Chuck, even if your story is about Dean and me, and us killing each other… there still has to be other people, other characters! It can’t just be me and Dean all the time! Why can’t she just be a--a side character in the story? Doesn’t it raise the stakes to have us care about other people, outside of each other?”

 “Oh Sam. That may be true, but you didn’t want Eileen to just be a side character in your story. Did you?”

 Sam glared at Chuck, but his shoulders dropped as he looked back at Eileen. She was still frozen in place, watching him helplessly. He slumped back in his chair, defeated.

 “No,” he said sadly, still looking at Eileen. “I love her.”

 Eileen’s surprise was evident, but she flashed a small smile. “I love you too, Sam.” She replied.

 Chuck frowned. “You see, this is just not working. The only love story in Supernatural is the one between the brothers! There’s no romance in Supernatural!”

 “Between the brothers?” Sam pulled his eyes away from Eileen to scrunch up his nose and stare at Chuck in horror.

 “Well, not like THAT… eww. Though I have glanced at some pretty freaky fanfiction in the past…” Chuck stared into the middle distance for a moment as if remembering something terrible and horrifying. Then he shook himself off and grinned at Sam. “No, I mean, you and Dean are my leading men, the love you share is what drives and powers this whole story. The drama of one brother, having to kill the other, and then kill himself… the co-dependency… the TRAGEDY. It’s the perfect story!”

 Sam shook his head.

 “You’re wrong. There are plenty of brilliant stories out there. Stories that end happy.”

 “That’s not how this is going to work, Sam. I get MY story. And here’s why…”

 Chuck snapped his fingers, and Sam watched in horror as Eileen instantly turned to dust and disappeared.

 “NOOOO!” Sam screamed. Chuck smirked at him. “WHAT DID YOU DO?!” He cried.

 “Don’t worry, Sam. She’s not dead. She’s just… gone away.” Chuck waved his hand as if this explained Eileen’s whereabouts at all. Distraught and horrified, Sam stared icily at Chuck.

 “Bring. Her. Back.” He growled through gritted teeth.

 “Oh, I will, Sam. Don’t worry. If you comply, Eileen will get to live a perfectly normal happy little life. Just, not with you.” Chuck sipped his drink smugly, and Sam felt his hatred for the man fill his veins.

 “How do I know you’ll keep your promise?” He asked.

 “Because, when the story plays out, right before my grand finale, I’ll come to you, and to guarantee your compliance AND the compliance of your brother, I’ll bring her back. I’ll erase her memory of you, and I’ll set her on her way. She will get a fully human life based entirely on her own choices. I won’t meddle in her story at all.”

 Sam felt the tears fall down his cheeks, and he blinked through them.

 “She’ll get to be happy? You promise me that she’ll be happy. Promise me. Make sure that she lives, and she is happy.” Sam sobbed.

 Chuck grinned coldly.

 “Promise.”

 …

 Dean sat in the library, staring into the darkness. His fifth glass of whiskey was finally starting to numb the pain in his chest. His eyes were red and sore from his earlier tears, but now he sat silently. He had no tears left to cry. He didn’t know where Sam was, his brother wasn’t answering his phone, and Dean knew he had to investigate that in case something was wrong, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Everything was damn hopeless now anyway.

 The metal creaking of the bunker’s front door pulled Dean out of his trance. He turned to see Sam slowly stumble down the stairs. He could tell from his brother’s posture that something was wrong.

 Swaying as he stood up, he staggered to the war room to greet Sam.

 “Sammy?” He called out to no response. When Sam finally looked up at him, he saw that his eyes were just as red as his own. His brother’s face filled with an eerily familiar look of grief and defeat.

 “What happened?” he asked, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

 “I could say the same to you,” Sam said.

 Dean found a chair and slumped into it. He clenched his jaw and fought to say the words out loud.

 “We lost, Sammy.”

 Sam sat in the opposite chair and considered Dean’s demeanour. “So did we,” He replied, voice breaking.

 “Sam? Where’s Eileen?”

 Sam looked up, and his eyes filled with tears. “She’s gone, Dean. Chuck-“

 “Chuck?!” Dean stood up in a panic. “What happened, Sam? Are you hurt?”

 “No. But we… we gotta stop trying to beat him, Dean.”

 Dean furrowed his brow.

 “Chuck took Eileen. He’s using her as leverage. If we stop fighting him and ‘play our roles’, then she gets to live.”

 Dean shook his head.

 “No, Sam. We can find a way to save her. If he’s still got her, then we can get her back… Hell, we have to try. I want at least one of us to have a chance at happiness!”

 Sam stood up and reached out to grip his brother’s shoulder.

 “Dean, he’s not holding her prisoner. He made her disappear, like… dust. She’s gone.”

 Dean regarded Sam’s tired face, his brother looked broken, like the fight had left him. He looked exactly like how Dean felt.

 “Well then, we play our roles, and when Chuck brings her back, then the two of you can be together again?” Dean asked.

 Sam shook his head sadly.

 “This only ends one way for us, Dean. Neither of us gets a happy ending.”

 Dean’s eyes widened, and he stepped back, sitting back down in the chair and closing his eyes. “So that’s it? We’ve lost?”

 Sam mirrored Dean’s movements and nodded, his eyes still teary and red.

 “Where’s Cas?” Sam asked. “We should let him know.”

 Dean’s face dropped, and he swigged back the last of his whiskey.

 “I guess we both lost something special today Sammy.”

 Sam froze, and he stared at Dean, not wanting to know the truth but knowing he had to ask anyway.

 “Dean… what happened to Cas?”

 Dean gripped the empty glass in his hand, refusing to look at his brother.

 “He’s… dead.”

 Sam drew in a breath and sat back.

 “How?” Sam asked in horror. “Are you sure? He can’t be! It’s Cas!”

 Dean shook his head.

 “It was my fault. I should’da done more to get him out of there. Damn fool sacrificed himself so I could get back.”

 “Get back from where Dean? What happened today?”

 Dean wiped his eyes and scrubbed his hand over his face.

 “Michael. He told us about a spell to trap Chuck. It needed this flower from purgatory, this leviathan blossom, so Michael created a door, and we went and got it.” He stood up while telling the story, needing to move as he felt the anger boil up inside him. “Cas was stubborn, we were both angry, we fought. Benny was there… we got caught out by leviathans, they had us surrounded. Cas managed to hold them off, but…” Dean stopped and looked back at Sam, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. “There were too many. Cas used himself as bait.”

 “What if he’s still there, Dean? If he managed to fight them off-“

 “He didn’t.”

 “How do you know?”

 “Because I saw them rip him to shreds!” Dean yelled.

 Sam froze and watched as Dean visibly shook with anger and emotion.

 “I saw everything, Sammy. I saw those sons of bitches eat him alive. My best friend… and the person I--“ Dean broke off and clenched his jaw. Unable to say the words again.

 Sam felt helpless. Still dealing with his own grief, he didn’t know what to say to make any of this better.

 “and now… Chuck… and Eileen. We can’t even do the damn spell because you went and made a deal. So Cas died for nothing. He died for NOTHING!” Dean shouted and, in his anger and frustration, threw his empty glass across the room, watching it shatter as it hit the wall. Sam jumped at the sound but remained silent.

 Dean breathed deeply, trying to control his anger.

 “I’m sorry, Sam.”

 Sam shook his head. “Don’t be. I’m sorry too.”

 “I need to be alone,” Dean said. He clapped Sam on the shoulder and headed to his room. Leaving his broken-hearted brother alone in the darkness of the war room. Sam blinked away another tear and watched him leave.

 …

 After everything that happened, Dean needed to clear his head. At least Sam was safe, even if he was in just as dark a place as Dean was now. They both had lost any shred of hope of winning, and Dean wanted nothing more than to drink himself to death. Screw Chuck’s story, screw saving the world, screw everyone else. He was done with it all. Feeling the weight of the day finally defeat him, he collapsed face-first on his bed. He breathed in deeply and tried to push down all of the painful memories that continued to haunt him.

Cas always comes back, Dean thought. He’ll be in the Empty now, and he’ll find a way back just like before… He just needs something to fight for. Dean sat up straight as soon as the thought came to him.

     I need to give him something to fight for.  

 So Dean wiped his eyes of the tears that had stubbornly kept flowing. He clasped his hands together, and he prayed.

 “Cas…” Dean whispered into the dark silence of his room. “Castiel.” Another tear fell down his cheek as the pain welled up inside him again.

 “I don’t know if you can hear me, but if you can… I’m so sorry, Cas. This was never meant to happen. It all went too far, got too much. And I couldn’t-- “

 Dean took a deep breath and shook his head. He needed to get this right. No excuses.

 “We’ve been through so much together. You are so important to me, I know you don’t believe it right now, and I know I haven’t shown it, but you are.

 “You were never… dead to me, Cas.” He struggled to repeat the words, hating himself for ever saying them in the first place. “I’m sorry I ever said that. And I don’t blame you for m--  for mom. I’ve been so angry. At you, at everything, at our whole, messed up shit show of a life. Where anytime I even attempt to hold on to something good, I lose it.

 “I’m scared, Cas. Because I don’t know what’s real and what’s not. You said we were real, But how do I know that for sure? Even before all that, before Chuck, before Mom… I was angry back then, at Jack, and at you for always putting Jack first. Hell, I think I was jealous of the kid…”

 Dean huffed a laugh and paused, thinking back to one of the darkest times of his life.

 “You died before, and it broke me. I don’t think I ever told you that. Your death… it snuffed out a light.

 “Then you came back, and I was so happy. I figured… I actually allowed myself some hope that you and I could – well, it doesn’t matter now, does it? But you were distant, and I was too damn scared to bring it up. Too scared I’d lose you again, that you’d get fed up with me, take Jack and leave.

 “That fear, the fear of losing you… it eats at me. And it makes me lash out, push you away like I’m trying to protect myself from feeling that way again… like I can shut off my feelings for you, so it won’t hurt when you inevitably leave me for good. And I get so angry that I scare myself. It’s a vicious circle. I can’t stop it. No matter how bad I want to, I can’t stop it.”

 Tears were falling down his face, and Dean took in a staggered breath to try to compose himself. He had to voice the one thing that scared him more than anything else, not knowing if Cas could hear him or not.

 “I love you. I love you so damn much. And I should’da told you so many times while I still had the chance.”

 Dean felt the weight of the words finally leave him, and blinked away the tears.

 “You can’t be gone Cas. You gotta come back. We’ve both gotta keep fighting, because I can’t do this without you. I can’t do any of this without you. You gotta come back to me. Please come back to me.”

 Dean bowed his head and let the tears fall freely. He didn’t know where to go from here.

 …

 Far away in a dark empty void, tear-filled blue eyes stare widely into nothingness, having just heard the prayer that set his heart soaring.

 “Well now,” A husky female voice drifted through the void, cutting into the silence. “Now that’s all cleared up, perhaps you’ll re-join the fight.”

 Castiel turned to look at Billie. Standing next to her were two people. On her left, a woman Castiel had only just started to get to know. Eileen. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears but she had a hopeful smile on her face. On Billie’s right stood someone he loved with all his heart. His son. Jack held up his hand and waved.

 “Hello Castiel.”

 Cas smiled.

 END.

[mittensmorgul]

Why has Chuck resurrected Cas so many times if he doesn’t want him to be part of the story?

I don’t think Chuck didn’t want Cas to be part of the story. I think he realized how useful Cas was to Sam and Dean. Which is painfully, wonderfully, what a lot of us have been saying about Cas and his own personal issues for years.

Cas has struggled with his purpose. But there are some things Chuck can control (ooh people will like this cool new monster!), and things he can’t (Cas struggles mightily to understand Free Will and humanity). So after all that, I think the bigger question is why DIDN’T he bring Cas back after 12.23?

Chuck has entirely lost the emotional thread of his characters, precisely because he can’t control characters exercising their free will. He can control scenarios, not people.

Like Lilith, for example. She had very precise limits literally written into her character. Like Chuck handed her a character sheet and a specific mission goal, and sent her off to accomplish the task (weirdly, seduce Dean and destroy the Equalizer). She failed at the first bit (Dean is Not That Guy anymore, he didn’t take any of the random drugs she left out, Lilith literally had to knock him unconscious to arrange the second half of the plan). She needed the ability to improvise like that, to “go off script” to complete her tasks, so Chuck infused her with insight into his “writing process.” And even as a limited character within the story, she criticized his story and her part in it. Including her bitterness over how her “original purpose in the story,” back in s4 where she sacrificed herself for the Grand Plan she believed in with her entire being-- to free Lucifer from the cage-- and then nothing even came of it. The promised glory never came to pass, the apocalypse failed. So... why did Chuck “resurrect” her now (because I don’t think he literally pulled her from the Empty, but basically brought a character sheet to life... SHE was the puppet, but in order to play the role, she needed to know enough and have enough flexibility to adapt to a changing situation, or it would’ve been like interacting with a robot pre-programmed with a few dozen set lines). Why bring HER SPECIFICALLY back to the story now? Because of how she functioned in his story before. He doesn’t write “people,” he writes plot devices.

And to Chuck, for a long time, had written Cas as a plot device, instead of as a person. Because Chuck has proven he’s not terribly interested in the actual humanity and emotions of his characters, but in the endless drama he likes to watch unfold. The rest of what *WE* see, of what *BECKY* sees and then writes about, well, Chuck ain’t writing that. That’s all TFW.

I mean, what is the ONE REASON we ever got Cas in the story at all, after Kripke insisted for YEARS that there were no angels in Supernatural? He needed a plot device to free Dean from Hell, because he’d written them into a corner right before the writer’s strike, and had their 22 episode season cut to 16. They just... ran out of time to have Sam save Dean before he ever went to Hell. Which had been his original plan. Oops? Except... Cas didn’t STAY a plot device. He was supposed to be gone after a few episodes. I’ve even heard it suggested that the entire angel plotline was only supposed to last MAYBE a season. And yet... here we are.

Partly BECAUSE Cas just... isn’t and hasn’t been a tool for years. He’s so much more than that, because of the choices he’s made along the way. Look at s8, how desperately the plot circled around Cas’s “brainwashing” by Heaven into literally being the good little soldier to accomplish plot for them again. And then he was manipulated by Metatron because of his need to feel “useful,” to solve the problems he blamed himself for. And then Metatron showed us EXACTLY how Chuck “writes” in s9, using the angel tablet to power his typewriter. Metatron didn’t write every little detail, and his story DID fall apart anyway. He was using Chuck’s template exactly, though, and the one thing he couldn’t account for 

Unfortunately, it’s led to some painful failures of communication, especially when Chuck hasn’t left room in their mission for them to actually step back and process-- like the 7 episodes between 14.17 and 15.03 where they barely had a chance to stop at all. That would burn anyone out. But Cas is left feeling “useless,” and Dean is left feeling adrift and desperately trying to find one thing in his life he can anchor his broken self-identity to, and pushing Cas away SPECIFICALLY because he couldn’t be sure Cas WASN’T just Chuck’s plot device, because of the entire nature and history of their relationship.

Messed up, right? And CHUCK doesn’t CARE! Because I don’t think he really sees Cas as much more than a plot device, despite having “watched the story” all these years. I mean he still somehow thinks Dean’s a 26-year-old dude who would actually seduce the victim of a MotW that was now under his protection. His conversation with Becky was actually super enlightening. He doesn’t actually care about any of the characters, the way Becky has come to. She was obsessed with them, and with Chuck, for a while, but she’s had some counselling and GROWN. Chuck, for all of this, hasn’t. He either needs to let go of his need to control the “story,” allowing his characters full agency by not meddling in their lives, or he needs to be stopped.

And we know Chuck’s favored storytelling style, how he crafts the “mytharc” plot, which we’ve had pointed out to us in 15.04 is what he really cares about. And he’s trying to reach the ending by going back to the beginning. He’s writing an ouroboros, and I’m not sure he’s really aware enough of how much his characters have evolved, how much the story has changed them all, and the fact that he can’t just erase all of that while trying to tell the one story he’s never really been able to get Sam and Dean to provide him-- which is Chuck’s OWN “origin story,” of shoving his sibling into a box to generate all of creation oin the first place. Chuck wants people to side with him. He wants to feel “big,” when if you look at him longer than five seconds, you can see he’s entirely self-obsessed and willing to tell any lie, manipulate any story, to frame himself as the Hero, when just like Metatron he’s actually the petty villain of the piece.

I mean sure, we wouldn’t have creation at all if it hadn’t been for his actions, but the fact he can’t “let the story go” and let creation tell its own stories (and even Metatron understood that to a degree, his obsession with human storytelling an integral part of his arc), but feels the need to vindicate himself as if he was the unproblematic fave is just... creepy, you know? And it’ll probably end up being his downfall.

And I think it will take all of Team Free Will working together to bring that about, because Chuck long ago lost the thread of ANY of their stories. Because he’s not writing THEIR story, he’s writing HIS. He’s just using them all as proxies to pat himself on the back, except TFW aren’t actually his proxies. Chuck created free will, but he doesn’t understand it at all. :’D