#Source: Drew Gooden

[escapismisaddicting]

Batman: Yo dumbass, get over here!

Ghostmaker starts getting up

Ghostmaker: ok-

Superman walks up to Batman

Superman: I’m coming! :D

Ghostmaker:… I thought I was dumbass.

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Linda: You know when you lose your wallet? Well, imagine how hard that must be for me because my house is just SO BIG, right? I have to check around twenty rooms sometimes if I lose my wallet, which should be easy to find because it's so BIG and FAT and FILLED WITH MONEY

Zoey: you think people are going to relate to this?

[save-the-garden-gnomes]

Blitz at the doctor's

Blitz: I'm ready for my ✨ prostate exam ✨ !!

Doctor: sir there's nothing wrong with you-

Blitz: just fucking do it, okay?

[opalescentidiot]

bachira: yeah the bathroom’s right over here

bachira to his phone: i placed a secret hidden camera in the bathroom to catch rin with his pants down

rin, pointing to isagi crouching in the bathtub with a large camera: why is there a guy in here?

[mask-of-anubis]

this was too applicable not to post

[yaoiwchie-wowchie]

Wiggly: you can't just make up holidays. If you could, do you know how many birthdays I would give myself? ALL OF THEM! Every day's my birthday

[trobedgirldads]

[texting]

cooper: can you come here? i wanna show you something

oliver: seriously? do you realize how far away from you i am right now?

cooper: mhm

oliver: so you understand how ridiculous it was for you to ask me to come over for you to show me something?

cooper: yep

oliver: and you understand that i am coming over?

cooper: of course

*oliver gets out of bed and walks across the basement to cooper’s bed*

oliver: alright, what is it?

[skzincorrect]

Hyunjin: Dear diary,

Hyunjin: Today I couldn’t find my diary, so I’m writing this on the back of both of my Kung Fu Panda 2 DVDs.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

"The way my brain works is that, uh, it doesn’t."

-Minsc, probably

[dewying-my-best]

*on the bus* Confusious: "Road work ahead"?! New Clones: Uh, yeah! I sure hope it does! OG Clones: ... w h a t

[shyjusticewarrior]

Dick: Yo, dumbass, get over here!

Jason: Okay-

Tim: I'm coming!

Jason internally: *sadly* I thought... I was dumbass...

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2590

(Dialogue from tumblr.)

[oren-juice]

this and strangest story have me in a chokehold I swear

[youtubeminuscontext]

They come at you from every angle, pepper spraying you in the face so you don't notice they just pulled your pants down.

Drew Gooden

[the-skull-breaker]

*at the demon realm*

Ezarel : but that place is haunted !

Nevra : ghosts prey on fear, just be confident.

Ezarel : *enters the manor* I'M. NOT. SCARED. I'M. NOT. A. PUSSY.

[yaoiwchie-wowchie]

Paul after googling "blue blood last forever???????" and it says yes: Well that's not good