#You know like Alfred kicked Superman's ass

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Incorrect The Boys quote (2.0)

Homelander : Honey, Pumpkin, Sugarplum-

(Y/n) cuts him off : What did you do?

Homelander : Why does something have to be wrong?

(Y/n) gives him a pointed look, making him cave.

Homelander rubbing his neck nervously : I may or may not have destroyed your car.

(Y/n) fuming : YOU WHAT!?

(1.0 here)

[spidernuggets]

Reader being Jason's girlfriend, who doesn't know about their double life, casually blurting out that she was never a fan of Batman and Robin or that she prefers Superman and the whole family is offended. 😭

love your writing, btw<3

-🪩

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

"No, no, you're right, babe. Superman tops Batman for sure."

"Ah, Ms. Y/n, pleasure to see you," Alfred opens the door to see you patiently waiting with a smile.

"Hey, Alfie! Is Jay home? He asked me to hang out with him today."

"He's in the living room with the rest of the family. Come in, come in," he steos to the side, giving you to room to enter.

"Oh, yeah!" You exclaimed, reaching into your bag. "I did that cookie recipe you gave me! They're not as good as yours, but they're sure better than the cookies I've made before. D'you mind taste testing for me?" You ask, handing over a tupperware full of cookies.

"I thank you for the charming remark, Ms. Y/n. I'm sure your cookies are as excellent." He says, taking a bite from a cookie.

"Nah, now you're just being too modest, Alfie," you laugh as he does too.

"Well, this is a marvellous improvement, Ms. Y/n," Alfred says, happily taking another one. "Come on now, let's go join the others."

The two of you walk towards the living room and see everyone there.

"Y/n!!" Stephanie shouts, running over to you, embracing you in a tight hug. "Ugh, it felt like forever since I've seen you! How are you 'nd Jason? Is he being an asshole like always?" She snickers.

You laugh, and before you can reply, Jason is already pushing Stephanie out of the way.

"Don't answer that, N/n. Steph, go away," he grumbles, soon putting on a smile once he stands right in front of you. "Hey, mama," he muttered, pulling you in by the waist, placing a kiss on your forhead.

You giggled at the contact. "Hey, Jay," you kissed his chin. "Hi, Bruce!" You look over Jason's shoulder, wavung to Bruce, who was sat on the armchair, looking through the newspaper.

"Y/n, always a pleasure," he says before going back to reading.

Jason takes your hand and guides you to the couch, making you sit on his lap. "Sorry I couldn't go out for our date today, sugar. Someone wouldn't let me leave," he emphasised, glaring at Bruce.

"It's scarce that everyone is here at once, Master Jason. It's a good opportunity for bonding." Alfred says behind him.

You kiss his cheek, which makes his heart race. "It's okay, Jay. It's nice hangin' out with you and your family."

"Yeah, kick his ass!" Steph shouts at the TV.

Last night's news was playing, showing footage of Batman and Robin, and their alliances, taking out some of Gotham's frequent villains and criminals.

"Do you guys always watch the news?" You asked, curious that they aren't watching something more entertaining.

You didn't notice it, but the whole family seemed to hesitate by your question.

"The news is a suitable way of keeping us informed of Gotham's latest activities. Just in case there are needs of safety plans for us," Damian says, sitting on the chair beside you, petting Titus.

"Plus, it's good to see Batman and Robin in action. Just in case there's anything they need to improve on." Bruce mutters that last statement, sending a sharo glare towards Damian, who, last night, didn't follow direct orders and backfired a section of the mission.

Damian ignored this statement and kept focusing on Titus.

You rested your head on Jason's shoulder. "Mm. I was never really a fan of Batman and Robin."

The whole room freezes, leaving the news to continue playing, and all heads turn towards you. The sudden attention had you tensed up.

"What?" You quietly ask.

"Batman and Robin are always keeping the streets clear of crime. How can you not like them?" Damian asks with a scowl on his face.

"I don't don't like them. They just don't pique my interest." You shrugged.

"Well what about their alliances," Tim asked. "Red Robin? Spoiler? Orphan? Red Hood?"

The questioning about Red Hood had Jason's full attention on you now.

"I dunno, I guess I prefer Red Hood. He's pretty cool," your unsure opinion had Jason mentally punching the air in victory.

"But.. to be honest, I kinda like Superman over all the superheroes," you smiled.

It was the calm before the storm. You didn't think a little opinion could've caused such a ruckus.

Even Bruce looked away from the newspaper annoyed.

"Why Superman? He's only so great because he has superpowers. Batman has no superpowers and can still put so many behind bars!" Bruce exclaimed.

Subtle. Jason thought.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know that you guys like these superheroes so much!" You said, almost scared that you somehow offended the family.

Jason then kisses your temple. "No, no, you're right, babe. Superman tops Batman for sure," Jason says, narrowing his eyes and sending a snarky grin towards Bruce, which, in response, he rolls his eyes and backs away from the conversation, going back to his newspaper.

"Did I say something wrong?" You quietly ask Jason as the other begin yelling at each other about which Batman ally is better.

Jason smiles, caressing your soft face with his rougher, calloused thumb. "Nah, don't worry, sweet thing. They're just mega Batman fans."

"What about you? Who's your fave?" You ask.

"Red Hood, hands down." He immediately replies.

You nod, thinking for a moment. "Okay. I wanna see more of Red Hood then. He'll be my favourite too." You say.

Jason thinks his heart just exploded. He shifts his right arms under your legs, his other supporting your back as he lifts you up, followed by a yelp coming from you.

"Get ready, babe. You're about to absolutely love Red Hood," he says, carrying you to his room, ready to go on a 5 hour lecture about Red Hood and why he's Gotham's greatest hero.

[fickle-tiction]

For Old Time’s Sake

“Ladies and Gentleman, I think Batman might be down for the count.” Clark was pretending to hold a microphone up to his mouth and speaking into it like he was an announcer. “Ohhhh! Nope! He’s up! That is going to hurt tomorrow.”

The corner of Bruce’s mouth pulls up into a smile at Clark’s antics as he circles Diana on the sparring mat. He dodges left as she makes a grab for him, grabbing her arm and using her own momentum to flip her over his back.

“And down goes Wonder Woman!”

Bruce drapes his body over Diana’s to try and pin her down, but she quickly reverses their positions and has Bruce in an armbar before he can even blink.

“I thought we said no powers.” Bruce grunts, trying to free his arm to no avail.

“I can’t help that I’m stronger than you.” 

Bruce lets out a growl, but he doesn’t deny it. Instead, he uses every bit of training he can remember and slips out of Diana’s hold. He springs to his feet and is about to execute a flying kick when a voice catches him off guard and has him freezing in his tracks.

“You’re getting slow, old man.”

Bruce whirls around to see his second oldest son standing at the edge of the mat, arms folded across his chest as he watches the match.

“Jason?” Bruce asks before a strong pair of thighs wrap around his neck and slam him down onto the mat. Bruce wheezes as the wind is knocked out of him and doesn’t bother fighting the hold. He merely taps Diana’s thigh twice in quick succession and she releases him.

“Wonder Woman wins again! And the crowd goes wild! Ahhhhhhh!”

“Is everything okay?” Bruce asks, eyes on his son even as he accepts Diana’s hand up.

“Alfred said you were down here training.” That didn’t explain why he was at the house in the first place, but Bruce wasn’t going to push. “I couldn’t pass up the chance to see you get your ass kicked. I had no idea Wonder Woman would be here.” Jason barreled straight past Bruce to get to Diana, a charming smile on his face that Bruce couldn’t remember ever seeing. “It’s so great to meet you. I’m Jason.”

Diana let out a soft gasp of delight as she shook hands with Bruce’s son. “Diana. We have heard so much about you. It is wonderful to finally meet you!”

“Hey Jason, I’m Clark.” Clark also shook hands with Bruce’s son, reveling in this rare glimpse into their friend's personal life.

“I can’t believe you’re friends with Wonder Woman and Superman.” Jason directed at Bruce. “Seriously, why do you guys hang out with him?” This last bit was naturally directed at Clark and Diana.

Clark barked out a surprised laugh. “For his winning personality.” Bruce scowled, and Clark nodded in his direction with a grin. “Obviously.”

Jason snorted and Diana tsk’d, swatting at Clark’s arm even though she was clearly trying not to laugh too.

“Okay.” Bruce said loudly, clapping his hands together to capture everyone’s attention. “The three of you meeting is a terrible idea.” Clark and Diana’s favorite pastime seemed to be teasing Bruce, and them teaming up with Jason was just asking for trouble. It would be best to kick Clark and Diana out and herd Jason upstairs for tea with Alfred. “Break it up. Everyone out.”

Jason gasps, clutching his chest, and Bruce’s attention is once again zeroed in on him. “You’d kick out your own son?” Bruce’s brain temporarily goes offline when Jason says the S word, despite his teasing tone.

“I---” Bruce may be a man of few words, but he is never at a loss for words. Until now. He knows Jason is just teasing him, but things are still so rocky between the two of them and he’s always afraid of overstepping and scaring Jason off.

“Of course not.” Clark says forcefully, clapping a hand on both Bruce and Jason’s shoulders. Clark didn’t know Bruce especially well, but he did know that he wasn’t the best at expressing himself and he clearly didn’t mean he was going to kick Jason out. He probably just wanted some alone time with what was clearly a surprise visit from his son. Bruce kept his personal life close to his chest; Clark and Diana were surprised he even invited them to the cave to spar in the first place. “We were just finishing up here. You two go catch up. We can show ourselves out.”

“And miss me wiping the floor with him?” Jason’s grin is cocky but his posture is stiff, as though he’s afraid Bruce might really kick him out...or that Clark and Diana might leave him alone with Bruce. “That is, if you’re up for it Old Man.”

Bruce resists the urge to call for Alfred to check his blood for traces of toxins; even though this clearly must be some kind of hallucination. Jason is here. In the cave. And he wants to spend time with him. (Sure, by “Spend time with him” he means spar with him and inflict damage on him, but he would take what he could get.) This must be a new strain of Scarecrow’s toxin.

Bruce mentally shakes those thoughts off, knowing he’s being paranoid and that he is in real danger of chasing his son away with his paranoid thought process. “You really think you can take me?” He asks, mimicking Jason’s cocky smirk and throwing in a raised eyebrow.

“I’m not a skinny 15 year old anymore.” Bruce buried down the burning guilt that rose at those words. He knew Jason wasn’t trying to taunt him, and was just making friendly trash talk. Those were his own issues to deal with, and he would bury them until he had time to sort them out. Preferably in 20-30 years when he was a crazy old man wandering around the manor alone and could properly express his emotions. 

“First one to tap out wins?” Bruce suggested.

“You’re on.”

They shake hands in the middle of the mat; Diana and Clark cleared off to the edges at some point in their exchange but Bruce couldn’t spare them more than a passing thought. Someone went “Ding ding ding” and then Jason was lunging at him.

“What the hell have you been eating?” Bruce grunted, rolling out from under Jason’s bulk and pressing a knee into the small of his back to try and keep him down.

Jason’s only response was a snort of laughter. He managed to get his arms under himself and surged up, sending Bruce toppling off his back. Bruce popped up before Jason had a chance to pin him down, and Jason had to throw himself out of the way of the foot that came flying at his stomach.

They danced around each other for the next few minutes, each throwing the occasional punch or kick. Clark kept up a constant stream of narration and Diana alternated who she was rooting for seemingly at random. Bruce couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face as he ducked and weaved.

“What was that move you used to do all the time?” Jason asked, ducking the fist that came flying at his face as soon as he finished speaking.

“Elaborate.” Bruce did a back flip to avoid Jason’s attempt at grabbing him.

“You know the one.” Jason’s tone should have been setting off warning bells, but Bruce was too busy trying to avoid being tackled to the ground by 250 pounds of solid muscle to pick up on it. “What if the mugger has a knife?” He asked in a passable imitation of Bruce’s Batman Growl.

Bruce’s eyes went wide and he just barely managed to dance out of Jason’s reach at the last possible second. “Jason.”

“Batman is bringing out the Dad Voice. Something serious is about to go down people.” 

“You have to be prepared for anything, B.” And then Jason got his arms around him and Bruce’s life flashed before his eyes. 

Okay. Maybe Clark and Diana were onto something when they called Bruce a Drama Queen.

“You’re dead.” Jason growls, jamming his fingers into Bruce’s ribs and wiggling them wildly. Bruce clamps his mouth shut, focusing all of his energy on trying to escape from what is essentially a bear hug from his hulk of a son.

“J-Jay.” He grits out, breathing heavy through his nose when Jason starts pinching around the spot where his abs faded into his sides. His whole body jolting when strong fingers start prodding at taut muscles.

“Come on Big Bird, if you can’t escape this how will you defend against the real thing?” Jason taunted, pinching up and down Bruce’s muscled sides.

“No way.” Clark breathed, the sound completely drowned out by the laugh being ripped out of Bruce’s lungs.

“Sh-hihihihi-it!” The dam breaks when Jason’s fingers find the sweet spot at the bottom of Bruce’s ribs. “Not-not there!” Bruce laughs, trying to curl his body forward. Jason’s arms crisscrossed over his chest don’t let him go anywhere, so Bruce does the next best thing his tickle-rattled brain can think of. He throws all of his considerable weight backwards, knocking Jason off-balance and sending the two of them crashing to the mats.

Bruce wastes no time catching his breath, flipping around and pinning Jason to the mat. “Oh-ho.” Bruce laughs at the alarmed look in Jason’s eyes. “You’re in for it now.”

“Who is this man, and what has he done with Bruce?” Clark whispers to Diana, neither of their eyes leaving the pair struggling on the sparing mat. Bruce looks ten years younger with the blinding smile stretched across his face as he taunts Jason. He let’s one of Jason’s hands go so he can burry his fingers into Jason’s armpit, sending the younger man into a fit of laughter, which is quickly joined by Bruce’s own laughter when Jason latches onto his side and starts squeezing.

“Jay, tag me in.” Clark Kent’s bare feet come into view, and Bruce abruptly stops his attack. He slowly looks up with wide eyes to see Clark’s cocky smirk as he holds out a hand for Jason to slap.

“Since when is this a tag team match?” Bruce knows running won’t do him any good, but he can’t help but glance around for an escape plan. He grabs Jason’s hand that was trying to sneak back to his stomach, pinning it back down to the mat.

“Since Jason was kind enough to show us a new side of you.” Diana purred into his ear and Bruce just barely refrained from jumping out of his skin as she dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around his middle. 

“This is not how tag team matches work.” Bruce protests as Jason bucks up to remind him that he’s still being pinned down. Bruce looks down at his smirking son, and his mouth quirks up into a lopsided smile against his will. “Is this why you stopped by?” He asked, amusement bleeding into his tone despite the danger he’s in.

“Alfred said you’ve been down lately.” Jason shrugged, not quite meeting Bruce’s eyes. “I told him that’s just your personality,” Clark snorted at that. “but he promised me a batch of cookies if I came. Said he’d throw in some brownies if I could get you to smile.”

“And it appears the apple did not fall far from the tree, Master Bruce.” All 4 heads swiveled to see Alfred watching from the bottom of the staircase, a fond smile on his face. Bruce scowled at his butler, not missing the hastily concealed phone that meant he probably snapped a few pictures before making his presence known. “Master Jason heard you were training and said he’d like to “take a crack at you” for old time’s sake.”

“Wait, you really used to tickle him when you were sparing?” Clark asked, disbelief clear in his voice. He wouldn’t have believed that ten minutes ago, but after seeing how comfortable Bruce was with fingers trying to burrow their way into his muscles a minute ago he was starting to reevaluate the “no touching” signals Bruce threw off.

“He was 15!” Bruce said, as though that made any difference. “I wasn’t going to punch a child!” Did they think he was some kind of monster? Sure, he could pull his punches, but he wasn’t willing to risk slipping and giving his son a black eye. 

Diana snorted. “You really are a big softy.” She cooed, squeezing him around the middle in a precursor for what was to come.

“Can we wreck him now?” Clark asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Are you asking my permission?” Jason laughed. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m the victim here.” He rotated his pinned down wrists for emphasis.

“You started this.” Bruce protested, narrowing his eyes at the smirking man beneath him.

“You started this 15 years ago. I’m just finally getting around to getting my revenge.”

“I am a grown man.” Bruce protested, as though that would change anything.

“Yes, but you have the emotional intelligence of a child.” Clark laughed again, and Jason looked pleased with himself. 

“I like him.” Diana laughed, breath tickling the shell of Bruce’s ear.

“If I may,” Alfred spoke up again, immune to the death glare Bruce was sending his way. “I seem to recall Master Bruce griping about Master Kent’s habit of squeezing his thighs whenever he gets up from a seat.” Bruce goes entirely still, cursing the warm feeling creeping into his cheeks. “I believe the phrase he used was “It makes me want to crawl out of my skin, Alfred.” “

“I am not going to forget this.” Bruce growls, glaring daggers at his friend-turned-enemy.

“Just as I haven’t forgotten a little boy shrieking in delight as he begged his father to send the tickle monster after him.”

You could cook an egg on Bruce’s face, it was so hot. Jason was cackling beneath him, Clark was clearly trying to hide his laughter behind his hand, and Diana gasped softly into his ear.

“I was four.” Bruce murmured, blush racing down his neck and settling across his chest.

“That is the cutest thing I have ever heard.” Diana’s laugh managed to not sound mocking, but Bruce still bristled at being called cute.

“I was four.” He reiterated, a quick intake of air cutting off any further protests when Diana unceremoniously latched onto his upper ribs and started tickling with abandon.  

Bruce had just enough presence of mind to not go crashing down onto Jason, instead trying to roll sideways as his arms turned to jelly and hoarse laughter was ripped from his throat. Clark wasted no time in joining in, strong fingers latching onto the muscle of Bruce’s thigh and squeezing them at random.

“Fucking he-hehehe-hell!” Bruce gasped, laughter pouring out of him unbidden as he tried to curl into a ball on his side. Diana and Clark were hovering over him, boxing him in so he couldn’t escape, but not cheating and holding him down so he at least had a chance at fighting back. Bruce kicked out at Diana when she slipped a hand under his shirt to tickle at the bare skin of his stomach. His foot connected with something and he had a second of triumph, before he squealed.

“Ooooh I think I’ve found a good spot.” Diana was holding his ankle in a steel grip while she dragged her nails across his bare sole, drawing swirling shapes into the vulnerable skin and driving Bruce wild.

“Dickhead is going to love this.” Jason laughed. Bruce cracked his eyes open, prepared for Jason to join in the fray, but shook his head when he saw his son recording the whole thing on his phone.

“Jason.” Bruce managed to get out, once Diana released his foot and let him regain some of his sanity. “Don’t you da-ha-dare!” He reached for the phone, but Jason just buried his free hand in Bruce’s armpit and sent him collapsing back to the mat with a bark of laughter.

“I think justice has been served.” Diana said, after another minute of tickling around and behind Bruce’s bare knees where his shorts had ridden up. Bruce’s face was flushed a healthy shade of pink, and his chest was heaving as he hugged himself around his stomach and shook with laughter, rolling side to side in an attempt to shake their hands off.

Jason’s phone disappeared from view, and Bruce rolled onto his stomach and pillowed his head in his arms as he caught his breath, trying to tamp down on the residual laughter still running through him. 

“You know,” Bruce looked up at Clark’s teasing tone. “You could have asked us to stop earlier.”

“I did!” Bruce protested, pushing himself into a sitting position to glare at Diana’s tittering laugh.

“You did not.”

“Let’s watch the video playback, shall we?” Jason was gloating, wagging his phone over Bruce’s head. Bruce lunged for it, snatching it away and springing to his feet. “HEY!” Jason yelped, trying to grab it back as Bruce danced out of his reach, using one hand to open up the camera app so he could delete the video

Before he could get to it a facetime call popped up, Dick’s excited face plastered across the screen. “You didn’t.” Bruce groaned, letting Jason snatch the phone back and answer the call. 

“Bruce is ticklish!?” Dick’s voice rang out, skipping right over the greetings to get to the important stuff. 

“Yes!” Jason crowed, spinning so his back was to the 3 heroes and he could get them all in frame. “Old man’s been holding out on us all these years.”

“I can’t believe this!”

“Wait. They never got you back?” Clark asked, sidling up next to Bruce, who was clearly trying to scowl at the phone but he couldn’t wipe the lopsided smile from his face.

“Nope. I kept that secret for almost 20 years.” Bruce said, shaking his head with a self depreciating laugh. 

“You know this changes everything, right?” Diana asks, slipping her arms around Bruce’s waist and resting her chin on his shoulder. 

The muscles in Bruce’s jaw twitches as he clenches his teeth in thought, leaning back against her chest. “Do....do you two want things to change?” He asks, sounding hesitant even to his own ears.

“Only if you do.” Clark says, standing in front of Bruce and blocking them from the view of Jason’s facetime call. Jason seemed to have forgotten about them anyway, caught up in his excited planning with Dick. He almost felt bad for what was to come for Bruce, but he knew he could handle it.

Bruce is quiet for a few seconds, painfully aware that both Clark and Diana could hear his heart hammering away in his chest. He licks his suddenly dry lips as he searches for something in Clark’s gaze. He must find whatever it is he’s looking for, because he nods once. “I...would like that.”

“Wow.” Jason says, appearing at Clark’s elbow. “That almost sounded like a human emotion.”

“Out.” Bruce growls. “Now.”

“Geez.” Jason mutters, hands raised in front of himself in surrender. “Touchy touchy.” He mutters, but scrambles backwards when Clark turns to stare at him.

“Do you really want to stick around and see what’s about to happen?” Clark asked, eyebrow cocked.

Bruce sputters a laugh at Jason’s disgusted expression. He hightails it for the stairs, noticing for the first time that Alfred already took the hint and made himself sparse.

“Now,” Clark turns back to Bruce and Diana, a soft smile playing around his lips. “Where were we?” 

“Right...about...here.” Diana says, dotting a soft line of kisses down the left side of Bruce’s neck. Bruce whimpered, lips squeezed shut as he tried in vein not to move. “You can move, Bruce.” Diana whispered into the skin of his neck. “That’s part of the fun.” 

Bruce gasped, jerking to the side to escape the soft lips dragging over the delicate skin. Clark seized his opportunity to box him in, his lips latching onto the right side of his neck. He slowly made his way up towards Bruce’s ear, while Diana began her slow trek down to his collarbones. Bruce let out a mix between a groan and a whimper, going boneless between them as he felt a new level of pleasure previously unknown to him. He didn’t know if he was going to make it through this night, but what a way to go.

[brucewaynehater101]

I once read a fic where dick, Jason and Tim are not human and that Damian and Bruce are the only humans (Alfred doesn't count) in the manor basically the fic was about how bruce took care of non human dick jason and tim and when damin came he had issues with them but came to accept them in the end and that got me thinking an au where the batfam are not human except bruce. like hes the only FULLY human in the family. like the in the fic dick was a doll that cam to life, but i also read somewhere that dick was a tentacle monster thing because of hugs (i dont remember it well because i read it when i was half asleep) Jason probably had something to do with gotham, like all the chemicals made him immune to most things and also being in the streets probably messed up his health and also he might be born? Made? Not human and that was before he DIED and was dipped in the Lazarus pit, which probably has supernatural consequences, and made him even more not human. Tim was probably cursed by an artifact that his parents brought home when he was young or he was just born (maybe bred, I'm pretty sure rich people can breed their own child) that way that makes people question if he is human or a sickly Victorian child in the wrong era, he also must be good with the shadows if he can follow batman around (and we are not yet talking about his age is he forever 17 or did he age, if so how old is he?)

Steph is the child of a supervillain and is probably an ally kid, so she is kinda similar to Jason but with more drugs and the spoiler thing. (i dont have any idea with her) Cass was probably trained and experimented by David Cain to act the way she does (nobody know if she's human or not and it freaks people out) Damian probably was the most human among Bruce children as he is made by his DNA, but if he was also dipped in the Lazarus pit then maybe there's a chance that's he's not human, but that can just be league training. Duke has powers and was living in the streets when is parents got joker gassed and was also living in the zero year when riddler was mayor and made a we are robin movement (sorry if i got his character wrong) Nobody knows actually if Damian and Cass are human as they possessed abilities that no Normal human can like blending in the shadows too well that that can't be seen (even when it's a light shadow you can't see them unless they want to be seen) but they were also trained assassin's and maybe those were the consequences of their childhood (at least most heroes or people hope)

The same can be said to the others, dick can perfectly blend in the shadows and when he fights he tends to pull stunts that no normal human can pull (does he even have bones how can he bend like that). Jason is like a tank and somehow is quieter than he looks, he can be stabbed and will still keep fighting like nothing happened. Tim doesn't sleep and he lost his spleen and still doing okay. Steph knows where to go, Cass can read you like a book and can probably kick superman's ass without a sweat, Damian was raised by demons and duke can bend the shadows to his will.

And somehow some way

BRUCE IS STILL HUMAN

like this man gets fear-gassed in the face, poison ivy's multitude of poisons, joker gassed. and whatever gotham throws at him while running a company and getting little to no amount of sleep and still function like a normal human being while actually BEING 100% human. and it just confuses the kids a lot (sorry if the English is bad. English is my secondary language and most of the time i speak my first language which is Filipino and I'm typing this on my laptop while most of my family are sleeping. and most of these points are from my drafts, my only saving garce is autocorrect )

You're perfectly alright. No worries at all ^^

To summarize, you want to think about an AU where Bruce is human and the rest of the Bats are not? We can definitely explore that, but first, I think I know what fics you were talking about.

For the Dick is a doll one, I can't find it. It's making me sad cause it was a great one of Bruce continuously adopting kids that others want to harm/kill due to their nature. Just Bruce fighting against his instincts so he can provide them love. It's cute.

For the Dick has weird hugging abilities, I think "you can swear in my hoard" by Inkpotsprite is the fic you were thinking about. Tim and Dick are the only confirmed non-humans, though.

For a fic where the batkids are born as a variety of angels or demons and Bruce is a human, the "heaven sent//hell bent" series by AstraEllis is good.

There's other ones, but feel free to reblog/comment suggestions.

As far as the AU, I agree that Bruce pushes his body past what's considered human limits (they all do). It would be funny if the JL had discussions about that in confusion (the humans and non humans trying to figure out how he manages to do everything he does without powers).

If you want to create an AU going over specifically what each batkid could be if they were non-human, let me know!

EDIT: A commentor revealed the fic name for the doll one!!! "You, Me, and the Humanity in Between" by JUBE514

[allanalightwood]

yall know what i need as a superbat fic? PRE-IDENTITY REVEAL. but the one where bruce wayne attends a gala somewhere something something and he’s high on pain medications. So to people outside of the loop it’s just Brucie being Brucie. Huge league business in the same city, so from the gala, this bitch slips out. High on pain medication, He can’t feel shit. Then before the main battle, he decides to TAKE MORE? IDIOT (’Alfred isn’t here to stop me’ is his reasoning)

Then post-battle, he thought he saw something move in an alley and that’s when the pain medication kicks in again where everything’s all wonky and “Oh Diana there’s a cat who looks like you” So, the others, surveying the damage decides that superman’s closest and the most capable to handle this.

Then Batman takes one look at Superman, sees the sunshine reporter he’s been flirting with for the last 6 months and is like; “Oh hey, it’s my favorite reporter. What are you doing here?” then he faints.

Then in Gotham, Babs is laughing her ass off, Dick’s panicking, Jason is also laughing, while Tim’s the sane one. Damien is also getting ready. Alfred’s trying not to laugh.

OK edit: comment/reblog if you wanna get tagged when i post the first chapter.

[daddysfangirls-dc]

The Making of Three (1/3)

Pairing: Wally West x Dicky Grayson x fem! OC

Warning: Smut, angst

1 - 2 - 3

-

Dick had propped his phone up against a pillow on video call as he put on a show for his boyfriend. And he was on the other side of the bed in full view without clothes and his erection in his hand.

After an incident on patrol, Robin was benched for a week, and to further punishment, Bruce banned Wally from the manor. Although upset at first, the lovers took it and strive and decided to try something new.

Before the banning, Dick had given Wally a gift, a remote. Wally had no idea what the remote was until today, Dick called him. And showed what it was for.

Which lets them to current events. Dick splayed across his bed while video-calling his boyfriend so he could watch him masturbate and control the wireless toy in his ass. And my my, were they enjoying themselves. Wally, remote in hand, watched intently as Dick slowly stroked his cock while letting breath whines and moans.

As Wally played with the setting Dick lost his ability to speak moans and whimpers were all he could give.

"You, you look so good, I wish I was there, I want to touch you so bad I want to feel you," Wally said breathlessly. He was nearly drooling over him.

Dick choked as Wallly kicked up the speed of the toy, the vibrations coursing through him. He moans as he runs both his hands through his hair and over his body, his cock leaking precum without being touched. He was basically humping the air.

Abs flexing, hips thrusting. With the feeling of the vibrations and the sound of Wally's own moans and dirty encouragement," Look at that pretty cock" he was already on the edge, moaning and crying out.

He had no control. Especially as the vibrator went up to the highest setting.

He was at the mercy of him.

And could not stop himself.

He was there. His balls tightened, and his legs shook. He tossed his head back, arching his back. As he let out a choked moan, the only verbal warning he could give. As he orgasmed cum shot onto his bed and stomach.

He let out a whimper-like cry as the vibrator continue overstimulating him. Wally takes mercy turning it off.

Sitting up, he was met with a horrifyingly humiliating site of Alice. There she was, standing at the door, holding two bowls of fruit. And there he was, laying in bed nude with a vibrator in his ass, his phone leaned up against the pillow and covered in his cum.

Neither knew what to say. Neither spoke, they just looked at each other. A moment of silence. No one moved.

"Dick?" Wally interrupted the silence.

All at once, everyone began moving. Dick dove off the bed, gathering blankets to cover himself, knocking his phone in the process. Alice quickly backed out of the room with her fruit still in hand and closed the door with her foot.

What the fuck ?!

-

Alice Kent, aka Supergirl, daughter of Lois and Clark Kent, aka Superman. Not as exciting as one would imagine.

"Is there something wrong, Miss Alice?" Alfred asked as he found her slouched over the kitchen counter.

"Just bored, I don't know what to do."

"I'm off to the market, do you wish to join me?" it was a kind offer, but Alice knew that Alfred enjoyed his time there. It was his time, and she wouldn't ruin it with her sulking.

"No, thank you. I'll just annoy Dick. Is it alright if I make a snack first?" Alfred, able to read minds and tell the future like the god he is, simply turns to the fridge and takes out two bowls of fresh-cut fruit. " Thank you, Alfred"

"You're Welcome, Miss Alice. I'll be back in an hour or so Master Bruce will be back in 30 minutes, behave."

"Yes, sir"

And with that, they both departed, Alfred to the market and Alice to Dick's room.

Alice knew Dick was in his room, probably on the phone with Wally, it would explain why the speedster was ignoring her. The Couple was probably flirting over the phone, so she would interrupt that and demand a movie to spend some time with her two best friends.

Yep, Bestie time.

Alice was a bit too in her head if she was paying attention and listening, she would have heard what Dick was doing in his room. Especially with her super hearing, but no she was so far in her head, she didn't hear a sound.

Reaching his bedroom, she unstably balances the bowls with one arm and opened the door.

Stepping into the room, it was then that she realized the mistake of getting a full view of Dick in all his naked glory.

Obviously, a very intimate moment was taking place, but Alice couldn't find it in herself to look away.

Skin flushed, covered in a thin coat of glistening sweat, back bent in a beautiful arch, legs shaking, hands desperately pulling at the sheets, eye closed, mouth opened, releasing many cries and moans, and cock standing stiff, tall, and leaking.

"W-Wallllllllyy" he moaned out as he came.

Alice watched as he orgasmed untouched. She watched as his cum painted his stomach and bed. Body shaking before going slack. But only for a moment before he started trembling again, this time trying to close his legs. Whimpering as he tried to reach between his legs.

He stopped shaking and let out a breath of relief.

Another moment went by before he says up and opened his eyes. And he saw her.

Alice didn't know what to do she was frozen. As was he, both watched each other in silence, not knowing what to do.

It was very clear that Alice had seen him in very intimate and private situations. Something she wasn't supposed to see. And now she had no idea what to do, standing there, her legs unmoving. Laying there, his body was also unmoving. Many emotions run through each of them.

"Dick?"

They returned to reality.

It was like lightning had struck her suddenly she couldn't stop moving. Backing out, she used her foot to close the door behind her and quickly rushed to her room.

Making it to her room, she quickly put the fruit bowl on her side table, locked her door, and sat on her bed.

"FUCK"

(Not my image)

[themurderofcrowscollective]

As per my last reblog!

That shit really hurts so here the fuck I am. I like to think that after Batman and Red Hood finally see each other again, the following days are hellish to endure. You would have Bruce brood even around the Wayne manor, refuse to eat food and barely say a word to anyone. He'd even have to take a few weeks off both as Bruce Wayne and Batman. Even the villains would ask Nightwing if they saw Batman around, and he would say something along the lines of 'he's in space' or 'he's in another dimension' to let the villains stay away from looking for him. Jason on the other hand would do what he does best: Murder, fighting crime, exploding buildings and indulge in any sort of pleasure to keep himself from thinking about Batman. Even the Justice League would stop by the Manor and speak to Bruce as friends, not colleagues. Most of the time, he wouldn't say a word but with me being a Batman x Superman loser, Clark would get a few words out of Bruce cause he knows the man better. Alfred on the other hand would do his damn best to keep Bruce fed, well-rested and also tell him how important he is, not as Bruce Wayne the multi-billionaire playboy and not as Batman the dark knight of Gotham, but as a father and as himself. As for Jason, he'd mostly be sought out by Dick and have a LOT of brotherly conversations that either end in fighting or Red Hood just simply ignoring him. This would go on for weeks, nearly months. . . Until the two need each other's help. With what? The villains planning to take over Gotham and I mean ALL of them, mostly due to the lack of Batman cleaning the streets of it's crime. Would they both be reluctant to assist each other? Very much but just picture it; after the debriefing and also asking for help from the Justice League to take out specific villains while Tim stayed in the batcave for technical stuff, Batman and Red Hood take on villains like The Riddler, Joker and The Penguin. During the fights, the two remember their old fighting techniques and use them, kicking ass and looking badass while doing it. In the heat of the battle, Red Hood would say something that he used to say as a kid to Batman like a compliment along the lines of 'Nice!' or 'Great knockout!' Ooooh the feels and nostalgia. Skip to the end of the fight, Batman and Red Hood are scratched up but you should see what they did to the villains, and the two settle down with burgers and milkshakes while waiting for the other two teams to come back. Now for this, I'm gonna do a little conversation they had. Batman: So... you've grown. Red Hood: Yep. Surprisingly. *- A moment of silence because they're eating. -* Batman: . . . I'm sorry, Jason. Red Hood: Wh- Batman, holding his hand up: No, please, just listen. I truly am sorry for everything. You don't need to forgive me now, not yet, but I would just like to let you know that not one day had gone by without me thinking of you. Although I may have a new Robin, you were ever replaced as a son. Hate me if you must, but I know I should've looked harder. I don't know how to make it up to you but I just wanted you to know that. And then the two just stay quiet and keep eating. Yeh. You're all free to add more to this, I just had to get it out first.

[rukia-writes]

Jon Kent is the WORST superhero and doesn’t deserve the Superman title.

This universe Superman is the worst of the worst.

This is the Superman that is oppressing his entire earth, the people are too scared to make a sound because they know Superman and his regime will essientally end them.

This is the Superman that killed a-I won’t even say it if you know. You know.

This is the Superman that could’ve killed Alfred.

This is the Superman that was going to publicly execute Batman and his regime simply for speaking out.

I could go on and on but I’m not. This is not the Superman to hug to solve a problem.

Like Jon. He litteraly just broke your boyfriends arm, right infront of you and this is what you do?? I’m so confused.

The thing is if this was any other character I wouldn’t have cared, but this is supposed to be the new Superman. Superman is kind yes, absolutely. No doubt Superman is kind. But Superman is the type of hero that has always, always stayed stood up for the oppressed. When people can’t do for themselves Superman is supposed be there.

Superman is the kind of hero if he finds out you’re stalking someone and you’ve put a restraining order on them and they STILL keep doing it he’s going to handle it. Period. Superman found out a kid was being abused at home, he didn’t hug the abuser. He brought him to justice and told the kid to simply call him, to check in and if the boy didn’t call he WAS going to roll up on the abuser.

Like Superman is kind but don’t PUSH IT. Don’t push Superman.

Superman has stood up to dictators, he doesn’t hug them.

I can understand wanting a kind of pacifist hero or Superman. But there’s time (plot) for wanting peace and a time for someone getting their ass kicked and bring them to justice.

And the fact Superman has always said he hates bullies and then you hug them and leave with the people of that universe STILL being oppressed-

I don’t even know why Jon is trying to redeem this Superman, this Superman has already become irredeemable. Another Superman from another universe literally fought him and said there is no turning back for this guy. Bro I’m-

Your father litteraly has tried to solve the worlds problems for years, it’s not because it’s hard. It’s because it takes more than one hero to save the world. Superman as super as he is can’t be everywhere at one time. As matter of fact, that something Superman has been at for YEARS. Something he has struggled to overcome for YEARS!

Im sorry. But this isn’t my superman. Give me CLARK KENT.

[frostbittenbucky]

Bruce is very proud when his kids finally beat him at sparring

Dick-15

Batman: [obviously limping around the watchtower]

Superman: [pulls him aside] “Batman, what happened?”

Batman: [trying not to sound excited] “Robin finally bested me during our sparring”

Superman: “oh th-“

Batman: “he cracked three of my ribs and dislocated my hip”

Superman: “b-“

Batman: “then he got me in a headlock and held me until I passed out”

Superman: “Bruce… What the fuck”

Jason-14

Bruce laying on the couch with a concussion

Clark: “is everything alright? You missed the meeting and didn’t answer any of our calls”

Bruce: “hm, sparring”

Clark: “with Dick?”

Bruce: [mumbling] “no… Ja… Jason. Used a uh, ah, um…”

Clark: “a? Weapon? A brick? There’s no way you lost to him, it took Dick years to finally win”

Bruce: “… I don’t remember… but it worked”

Alfred: “master Jason used a first copy of the Oxford dictionary. After the spar was supposedly over he used the ‘element off surprise’

Bruce: “dats ma boy”

Alfred: [shaking him] “stay awake”

Tim- 14

Bruce having lunch with Clark, sporting a black eye

Clark: “those sun glasses aren’t helping you”

Bruce: [sipping his wine] “didn’t think so”

Clark: “did you have a rough night?”

Bruce: “no, turns out Tim is a natural with the staff. We’ve been working at it for months, he’s very talented “

Clark: “what is wrong with you?”

Bruce: “if they can’t kick my ass then I’m not training them right, Clark”

Cassandra-20

Bruce: [is groaning and wincing when he moves]

Clark: [chilling at Bruce’s] “I didn’t know you could acknowledge pain”

Bruce: “she threw me like a rag doll, Clark”

Clark: “wait who?”

Bruce: “Cassandra. She wanted to spar, I never landed a hit on her. The fight was 6 maybe 7 seconds tops “

Clark: “she sounds dangerous”

Bruce: [is amazed]“I have so much to learn from her”

Damian- 11

Superman: [enters the bat cave] “Bruce?”

Bruce: [in the medbay giving himself stitches] “here”

Superman: “ouch, what happened to you?”

Bruce: “sparring with Damian”

Superman: “sparring?”

Bruce: [looks up, smiles] “he did this with his nails. But that’s just the surface”

Superman: [x-rays] “Is your leg broken?”

Bruce: “hm, probably. Certainly feels like it”

Superman: [slow blinks] “yea, it’s broken, B”

Duke- 17

Clark: [flying in] “I heard screaming, is everyone alright?”

Bruce: [crumpled on the ground] “fuck”

Duke: “oh my god, oh my god, I’m so sorry”

Clark: “did you use your powers on him?”

Duke: [panicing] “no! We were sparring and I got scared when I thought he was going to do that grabby twisty thing before he slams people?? and kicked him in the balls”

Clark: “uh”

Duke: [tries to help Bruce up]

Bruce: [swats him away, voice hoarse] “you win, you win. I tap out”

Clark: “I thought you wore cups?”

Bruce: “I am… Duke”

Duke: [biting his nails] “yea?”

Bruce: “hmm… good… good kick”

Stephanie-22

Bruce: [gets into position] “ready?”

Stephanie: [gets into position] “ready”

Bruce: [lunges]

Stephanie: [deploys taser]

Bruce: [somewhat goes down, but not fully because he’s Batman] “ow”

Stephanie: “you said ow! I win!”

Bruce: “that’s not a win”

Stephanie: “did you know I had a taser?”

Bruce: “no”

Stephanie: [jazz hands] “the element of surprise!”

Bruce: “no” [gets back into position]

Stephanie: “fine” [drops him]

Clark: [watching the whole time]“she definitely won”

Bruce: [gasps] “yep” [gives Stephanie a high-five from the ground]

[redhoodieone]

His Girl

Plot: Dick Grayson has a type in women: athletic, feminine, and classy. However, the reader is completely different as she is plus-size, tomboyish, and spontaneous. But a conversation about Y/N between Dick and the batboys takes an unexpected turn one night.

Warnings: Language, Sensitive topics, and Fluff.

“What the hell’s up your ass?” Jason asks Dick, as he hands him a bottle of beer from the refrigerator in the Batcave. It was only until last week that Bruce gave in and allowed a refrigerator to be down there after the boys begged him for one.

As long as it was only for beverages, of course. Bruce had mentioned the boys have been eating too much junk food lately, but the boys knew deep down that his rule is simply for him, because of his age, and maybe for Y/N, too.

Y/N has only been with the Batfamily for a year since her family died at the hands of Two-Face. She had only started training with Bruce for two months now, and the two of them have been working out quite a bit.

Which makes sense of Bruce’s one rule for the refrigerator, though. But that hasn’t stopped Jason from sneaking in food anyways; mostly pizza and lunch meat and cheeses for sandwiches.

But now, Dick’s distant and silence is unbearable since the circus descent acrobat is usually excited and rambling about anything and everything.

“Uh, nothing! I mean...” Dick stutters. His behavior tonight was questionable to say the least. Usually, he would be on his game and even throw some wisecracks but he’s been awfully quiet, nervous even.

“Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say,” Jason scoffs.

Dick sits on top of the hood of the Batmobile while he peels the sticky label from the beer bottle. He notices Tim and Damian walking out from the showers and are already dressed in sweatpants and t-shirts. Bruce is seated at the Batcomputer, still in costume but minus the cowl. Jason sits at the small table and sips from his beer and snacks on a triple meat and cheese sandwich he must have made quickly.

And Alfred had long gone to bed after Bruce forced him to get some rest since they’ve returned home and are not dead.

Dick suddenly notices Y/N must still be in the showers, on the other side of the cave for privacy where the guys can’t bother the girls.

“Fine...I’ve been...having these thoughts and dreams about Y/N lately,” Dick confesses. He notices Jason staring at him with a confused expression.

“Yeah, and…?”

“Well…lately, I’ve been thinking about her as…more than a friend. I’ve been seeing her in a new light. And you know I’ve always thought she was cool, and funny, and incredibly smart,” Dick continues, with a small smile. “But…I’ve never been sexually attracted to women like her before.”

Jason purses his lips and appears to think it over. “So, I don’t see the problem.”

“I just told you I’ve never felt this way about Y/N or any woman like her before.”

“Because you’re shallow.”

“I’m not shallow,” Dick argues, suddenly feeling defensive at Jason’s attack. “I just…I’ve never seen heavy women as hot, you know?”

“You can try to justify all that, but the point is, you’re shallow.”

“Have you ever slept with a heavy girl before, Jason?!” Dick snaps.

Jason chuckles and grins. “Actually, I have.”

“Bullshit,” Dick scoffs.

“Yeah, I have Dickie-bird. It happened three years ago, when my Outlaws and I kicked Black Mask’s ass. We went to a bar to celebrate in downtown Gotham. Roy and Star left early to go fuck or something. I was left alone and I was about to call it a night until this smoking hot woman took a seat next to me. She had long dark hair, tan skin, and curves that made my mouth water and my cock hard enough to pound nails. She was gorgeous, but there were these assholes around her and were calling her fat and telling her to leave because no one here would take her home. And do you want to know what I did?” Jason asks.

“What?” Dick asks quietly.

“I took her home, after I broke all those guys’ jaws. She was fucking amazing, man. She had a magnificent ass that she actually allowed me to spank. Her curves were endless, and after I fucked her good three times, cuddling and falling asleep with her was probably the best part of the night. I’ve never felt so…comfortable and felt warm, because I actually felt someone beside me,” Jason admits.

Dick raises an eyebrow at him. “Wow, I didn’t think something like that could happen to you, Jason. If anything, I thought you were shallow.”

“I used to be, until I realized I was judging others, when I was actually trying to have others not judge me. Alfred actually helped me with that. I don’t remember every word he said exactly but he said I wasn’t trying all the ice cream flavors out there. Like, I was always sticking to a certain flavor of ice cream, and I wasn’t trying other kinds, meaning I should be looking at all types of women. And after my one night stand with that magnificent woman’s ass, I realized bigger girls aren’t deal breakers; they’re just more to love,” Jason admits, and shrugs with a smug smile.

“That’s…I don’t even know what to say. But Y/N’s different. She’s someone we know and it makes it harder. And my problem isn’t that I’m shallow, it’s how I’m supposed to handle my feelings about her.”

“Yeah, you are, Dick. Y/N’s literally the best woman we’ve ever met. Hell, the best woman I’VE ever met. She’s fucking funny, she’s so caring and kind, she’s smarter than Timbo when it comes to common sense,” Jason lists off his reasons.

“That’s true! I’m not going to lie about that!” Tim interrupts from the distance.

“Y/N’s real, she doesn’t bullshit about anything like other girls. She’s honest, and that’s a rare thing to find nowadays. And fuck…she can really handle her alcohol, she can down shots of Fireball like it’s water,” Jason adds.

“You don’t think I know all that? Of course, I do! That’s why I’m having such a hard time dealing with my feelings for her. I’ve only ever been with tall, athletic women, who wear skirts and dresses, eats healthy, and are…well, feminine,” Dick confesses. A guilty expression shows on his face. “And Y/N’s not any of that. She’s really short, kinda chubby, and she’s more of a tomboy type, who’s loud and rambunctious, and eats like a man.”

Jason snorts. “And that’s a problem why? That’s why Y/N’s fucking awesome, man! I actually really like how she’s not afraid to be herself. She’s not fake. Do you know how long it took for her to be comfortable with all of us and be who she is rather than how she thought we expected from her? And I don’t know about you but I love how she eats, whenever we go out to restaurants, I actually like how I can eat the way I want and not feel like a fat ass because I know her and I both love what we love and fuck all who have a problem with that!”

Bruce turns around in his chair and gives both boys a warning look. Even Tim and Damian silently take a seat and watch closely.

“Fuck…Y/N is the perfect woman. She’ll always be in my eyes,” Jason admits, looking down at his beer longingly before taking a sip.

“If you feel so strongly about her then why haven’t you tried to go out with her or sleep with her?” Dick asks angrily.

Jason’s pause takes everyone by surprise. “Because she can do better than me.”

“You-you actually tried to get with her?” Dick stammers.

“Oh, yeah I definitely did. I think about a year ago. I had spent the summer with her here while everyone was busy with the whole Justice League and Superman bullshit,” Jason explains. “You were with the Titans with Tim and Damian. It was just me and her.”

“Alfred was there as well,” Bruce mumbles.

“Anyways, call it cheesy as hell like those romcoms, but we actually got really close. She’s a spitfire for sure, but she really knows how to get under your skin,” Jason chuckles.

Tim and Damian nod their heads in agreement with that.

“And I obviously made the whole situation uncomfortable as fuck because when I told her how I felt, she rejected me. She said we were too alike, we’d butt heads all the time. And after that, I never brought it up again.”

Jason’s confession gives Dick a sense of confidence.

“Look, if you want to ask her out and do all that then I support you. Just know if you fucking hurt her or do anything wrong, I’ll slit your throat even if you’re family,” Jason threatens seriously.

“I wouldn’t even know how to bring it up with her,” Dick says.

“Well, don’t bring up how her weight and appearance bothers you,” Jason says seriously.

“It doesn’t!”

“Okay. How did you ask Barbara, Star, Zatanna, and-”

“I get it, Jason. I’ll just talk to her and tell her I have strong feelings for her,” Dick interrupts him. “I’ll just tell her the truth.”

“You already did.”

That voice belonged to none other than Y/N. All the guys in the Batcave jerked their heads to the top of the stairs where Y/N stood and looked down with tears running down her cheeks. She was wearing her plaid pajama pants and a loose black t-shirt she stole from one of them a long time ago, she doesn’t exactly know who though.

Dick and Jason slowly stand up. Dick carefully walks over to the stairs while Jason cautiously follows.

“Y/N…” Dick whispers, already feeling guilty and nervous that she had probably heard everything. “Please listen to me…”

“WHY?! So, you can tell me you didn’t mean any of that, when you actually did. I thought you were different! I didn’t know you could judge someone like that! Especially someone like me!” Y/N yells. “I thought you were my friend!”

“I am your friend! Y/N, please give me a chance to explain! I really like you, and-and I was just trying to ask for help so I can talk to you!” Dick pleads.

“Don’t lie to me! You were only asking for help because you didn’t know how to deal with me being fat and manly! I’m sorry I’m not like Barbara and Star! I’m sorry I’m not beautiful and thin! I’m sorry I’m not perfect for you!” Y/N cries out and runs up the stairs.

“Y/N! Wait! Please!” Dick shouts for her. He chases after her.

By the time Dick reaches Y/N’s bedroom door, it’s locked. He can hear her crying, automatically feeling like shit for being the reason why she’s hurt.

“Y/N, please…” Dick tries again.

“Leave me alone, Dick!”

Dick swallows hard and forces himself to move away from her door. There was no use for him to stand there; he’d already broke her trust and possibly ruined their friendship. He might have even ruined his chances with her.

Jason approaches Dick. “Is she crying?” he asks.

“Yes,” Dick chokes out. He runs a hand through his dark hair. “Fuck, Jason…I don’t know what to do. She won’t even talk to me.”

“You should go, Dick. I think you’ve done enough.”

Dick was a little taken aback by Jason’s command. He pushes himself to walk away anyways.

“Bruce wants to talk to you. You should go find him before he finds you,” Jason adds.

Dick exhales heavily and leaves. Jason shakes his head in disappointment at him. He takes a deep breath and knocks on Y/N’s bedroom door.

“Doll, it’s Jay. Please let me in,” Jason says softly. “I just want to talk to you.”

He didn’t think she would open the door for him. He didn’t think she would want to talk to him even though he hadn’t pissed her off or upset her in any way. But Y/N unlocked her door and even opened it for him.

Jason was deeply heartbroken to see Y/N; her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks were wet, and she had the devastating look on her beautiful face. He quickly walked into her room and shut the door, quickly locking it.

He had to be cautious though. He knew couldn’t say or do the things he wants to do with her right now. Instead, he slowly and carefully approaches her. She allows him to wrap his strong arms around her, bringing her closely to his body to hold and protect her from everyone and everything.

“Shh…it’s okay, sweetheart. I got you. I’m not going anywhere,” Jason whispers into her hair. He tries desperately to not inhale the addicting scent of her shampoo and lingering perfume so much. “You’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”

Y/N lifts her face from Jason’s chest and gazes up at him. The sight of her glistening eyes makes him draw her closer to him.

“What did I do wrong, Jay? What did I do to deserve all that? Is everything about me really bad?” Y/N asks softly, on the verge of tears again.

“No. No, don’t say that. Don’t say any of that! Nothing is wrong with you. You’re beautiful, Y/N. You’re perfect just the way you are,” Jason admits.

Y/N shakes her head in disbelief. It breaks Jason’s heart more when she tries to pull away from his embrace, but he refuses to let her go. His grip tightens and he holds her as if she’d disappear and leave him all alone.

“That’s not true, Jay,”

“It is true. Hell Y/N, you’re the most badass woman I’ve ever met. You don’t take shit from any of us. You’ve managed to stay here even after all the bullshit everyone has put you through,” he explains. He even chuckles at a memory. “You’ve even made Bruce cry, remember? Remember you called him out on his bullshit when he refused to train you? You’re almost a savage like Alfred, you even make Wonder Woman and Catwoman look like dollar tree prizes, and that’s no lie.”

Y/N looks down at her feet. Jason knows she still doesn’t believe him.

“You’re always perfect in my eyes, Y/N. There isn’t a goddamn thing I would change about you,”

“If I’m so perfect, then why does Dick think so low of me?” Y/N asks. She sniffles adorably and looks back up at him.

“Because he’s a fucking idiot who can’t see the best thing that’s in front of him,” Jason answers, and looks into Y/N’s eyes before he looks at her lips. “But his loss is my gain.”

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Incorrect The Boys quote (1.0)

Soldier Boy : Honey, Pumpkin, Sugarplum-

(Y/n) cuts him off : What did you do?

Soldier Boy : Why does something have to be wrong?

(Y/n) gives him a pointed look, making him cave.

Soldier Boy rubbing his neck nervously : I may or may not have destroyed your car.

(Y/n) fuming : YOU WHAT!?

(2.0 here)

[ak-the-valkyrie]

Titans season 3 spoilers ahead!!

Some spoilers for the new 3 episodes of season 3 (S3E1 Barbara Gordon, S3E2 Red Hood, S3E3 Hank and Dove) in no particular order

I was so excited to see Jason as Red Hood (and just the new season in general) it felt like my heart was beating 200 BPM

Hank can't be dead, I refuse to believe it, Hank can't be dead, I refuse to believe it, Hank can't be dead, I refuse to believe it

I believed Jason so badly when he called Hank ("something's wrong with me", "I didn't do that")

Fuck it, I still believe him

Carrie Kelley, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas and Daxton ❤️

I dislike the Red Hood helmet, the eyes are too wide and it looks like he's permanently shocked

Also, the helmet has a nose? No thanks

Though I loved Jason in Red Hood helmet: *dark creepy voice*, Jason without the helmet: *sounds like he's 12*

"JaSoN DoEsN'T ReAd BoOkS" - in the comics, Jason literally had a library in his room and was at the top of his class and would (apparently) sometimes skip patrol to study

What the frick frack paddy whack was that chemical thing Jason breathed in the first episode??!!

*Batman voice*: Where's Rachel??!!

Did they really have to kill off Alfred?

Really dislike that they made Jason into a terrorist. While he has done some shady shit in the comics, I don't think he's ever been a terrorist

Ah yes, it wouldn't be a Batfamily without our favorite dysfunctional batdad

(at least this version finally killed the Joker)

I was so happy to see the Titans kick some ass together, especially Dick being playful as he fights

*Sees some guy in a police uniform with a mustache, riding a bicycle* who the fuck is that? Is that Hank?! No... It can't be Hank. Oh my God it is Hank

The holographic coin and dinosaur in the background of the Batcave was just *chef's kiss*

(was there pedestals with souvenirs from all of Batman's bad guys, 'cause I think I saw the Hatter' s hat and Penguin's umbrella)

The Mad Hatter vs. Jason story Barbara told ❤️

Kori is still a fashion icon

Thanks writers, I now ship GarKon

*sees Hank and Dawn make out while Hank is dying* Hank, you do know sex and arousal makes your heart beat faster, right?

Krypto is the bestest boy I have ever seen

"Does Superman have a library?" "Dunno, think he just has space rocks"

I was so excited to see this season and I can't wait for next week's new episode, really hope they aren't going to make Jason be 100% the bad guy and that he will have some type of redemption

[charliedawn]

What if you had died and the justice league were given a last video of you, as a last goodbye ? (Warning : sadness ahead)

- "Hi guys ! If you see this, then that means I'm probably dead. I know that you'll blame yourself for it. But, let me assure you that whatever happens; you are and will always remain the best part of my life..I will never regret anything. I love you, guys. I love you, Bruce, the bat that always impressed me with his brilliant mind and everyone I met thanks to him. Flash ! Stay sharp and continue to reach for the stars ! I know you'll make it ! Arthur. Man or Fish. I still love you, man. I never want you to change and remain the king that you are. Same goes for you, Diana. Never forget that you are enough. You are a bad ass queen ! I wish I could be there to tell you in person..As for Cyborg, I know times are rough. I get it. But, don't give up. Machine or not, you're still the coolest ! Booyah ! And how could I forget the man of steel, you still owe me a coffee by the way ! Don't think I don't remember about that..I'll be waiting. Anyways, I admired you as posters in my bedroom, and it only took me to actually meet you to realize that the real deal is way better. My life couldn't have been more thrilling and wonderful any other way. Anyways, I should go soon. We still have a big ugly monster to beat. But, I wanted to leave this message, just in case. Now, I'll stay here for a while so you can finally let go. I hope that you'll be able to tell me whatever is on your mind and pretend that I'm still here, just for a moment. I want you to stop thinking of the past and focus on what you do best: protect and save people. This is my last gift to you, guys. As a last goodbye. As soon as you will have done that, I want you to turn around and walk proudly off. I want you to walk, not like a/an human/alien/atlant, but as a freaking superhero ! Ready to slay the day and kick some supervillains butts ! This is my last wish. I always wanted to see a dramatic exit, make me proud."

- " There is nothing I wouldn't do to have you back, Y/N..Alfred is still preparing your room, as if you aren't gone and the justice league all went to your funeral..But, still, I can't believe that you're gone. I still remember when I found you, you had just crashed through my plane and I thought that you were unlike anyone I had ever met. Not in the good sense. But now, I realize that you are indeed unlike anyone I have ever met. But, not for the same reasons that I thought at the beginning..I love you, Y/N. I have never felt such strong emotions since..my parents..I know that you told me to let go but..you didn't explain how ? I never got through my parent's death, how should I deal with yours ? How should I accept it when you sacrificed yourself for us to live another day ? When you jumped inside that portal to buy us some time..I tried to get to you. But, the look you gave me..as if you knew, you knew that you wouldn't make it out. You smiled at me. The last image I have is you, smiling at me, as if telling me not to worry, that everything would be fine. But now, you're gone. I'm alone. Again. I have to say goodbye to another friend. Goodbye, Y/N.."

According to your last wish, he does his dramatic exit with his head held high and disappears in due batman fashion. He misses the proud smile that seems to appear on your face.

" Jeez..You always disappear before people finish, huh ? Rude, Bruce. Very rude."

" Y/N.."

He wouldn't say anything for a few seconds, just look at your face before really starting talking.

" I have all those powers that many find amazing, incredible, wonderful..Many people only see the alien, the inhuman being, the man in the suit..You were the only one who saw the man. I still remember how you bought me that coffee, as if I wasn't Superman or the man of Steel. You were selfless and so caring, Y/N..And this is maybe why you died. It feels so foolish..To have all that power and not be able to use it to save you..I miss you, Y/N. Every single day. I feel as if you took a part of me with you when you disappeared. I hold on to your memory in order not to lose my mind, but it's hard. That day, I wanted to destroy everything. But I knew that you wouldn't want that. I wonder sometimes..if you had spoken that day, what would you have told me ? I know why you didn't, I just..I loved you, Y/N. More than you'll ever now.."

He smiles when you talk about the coffee.

" Yeah..I remember that. Best coffee I've ever drank actually. It took me a while to get to the right address but.."

He puts the cup in front of the video and looks at your hologram with another sad smile.

"..It was worth it.."

He then turns around and leaves the room with a heavy heart. He didn't want to say goodbye. He wanted to see you again, to talk to you, to embrace you and laugh about everything and nothing with you. He doesn't see that the video is still rolling, however, he can still hear your last words.

" Remember Clark that, no matter what, I always admired you for your mercy and your humanity. It is not the powers that saved me that day..It was you. You. Never forget that.."

He smiles sorrowfully, wishing he could reply how you saved him more than he did save you..before flying up in the sky, determined to do exactly what you told him: save and protect.

" I just don't understand..I could have reached it..I could have disabled it without anyone else getting hurt..Why ?"

He says more to himself than you, but your hologram still surprises him by answering.

" Because there was no other way."

He raises his head and stares with teary eyes at the hologram that seemed to be alive.

" Y..Y/N ?"

But the hologram smiles sadly and shakes his head negatively.

" I'm only an hologram, sorry..One last gift from Y/N. She wanted you to be able to talk to someone, even if she.."

The hologram doesn't finish his sentence, but Cyborg understands and lowers his head in shame and grief.

" Even after all this..She still worried about me being lonely ? But..But why ?! Why didn't she stay then ? She was the only one who understood.."

The hologram only listens before answering with a small smile.

" You know why.."

He raises his head again to face the hologram with widened eyes.

"..She loved you. Isn't there any greater proof of love than to be ready to sacrifice oneself for someone ?"

Cyborg is left speechless as he looks at his hands and starts tearing up again.

" She..She couldn't possibly love me like that ?! I'm more machine than human ! I'm a monster !"

But the hologram only tilts her head slightly to the right, as if silently observing him before replying.

" The machine doesn't define the man. By my calculations, you're still 84% human..You're still here, you're not just a machine. A machine cannot cry or love..but you loved her, didn't you ?"

The calculation quickly makes Cyborg remember that it is not to you that he is talking, but an hologram. He doesn't reply, he only straightens up and turns around swiftly to get out of the room. Just before disappearing, the hologram smiles almost tenderly at the walking Cyborg and says.

" Yes. You definitely did.."

" We may have been very different, Y/N, but that doesn't mean I didn't love you. You had a heart of gold and I must admit that, at the end, I'm the one who admired you. I remember how you told me that I was the hero you looked up to..Funny how things have changed, huh ? I don't cry. It is not in my nature. But, for you ? I'll allow myself to cry, as earth lost a very mighty warrior. I promise that you will be avenged, Y/N. I won't stop until I have Darkseid's head. I swear that if those aliens dare enter our atmosphere, they will not be safe on either land or in water. There will be no place for them to hide when we will annihilate them. Goodbye, Y/N."

And with that final goodbye, he swims away and misses your last words that you say with a very big smile.

" You are the rock I could always lean on, Arthur..The team needs you. So, keep them safe, okay ?"

" I..I was not ready..I should have been more prepared. If only I could rewind and save you..But, I can't. It tears me apart to think that, for the first time in my life, I couldn't be fast enough. You saved us all. But at what cost ? I won't be able to see you anymore..You say that I'm a superhero ? But superheroes are supposed to save people..What does that make me ? I couldn't even save my best friend..I am not ready to say goodbye, Y/N. I am not ready to say goodbye..Please. I know you must be disappointed, but I can't. I keep having those flashes of this day. You seemed so calm..How could you be so calm ? Did..Did you think of me at the end ? Did you think I would save you ? Did..Did you suffer ? All those questions that I'm afraid of the answers..You tell me to keep moving ? But how could I when my whole world stopped the day you disappeared ? I'm sure you gave them one hell of a fight..This is why I am not giving up, because I know you fought until your last breath..You want a dramatic exit ? I'll give you the best dramatic exit your eyes have ever seen !"

He stands up and turns away, prepared to run out of the room. He wipes his tears away and forces himself to smile, for you. He then runs out of the room, not noticing the proud smile you seem to give him at the end of the video.

" That's one hell of a dramatic exit.."

- " Lady Y/N..You always believed in us. Even when everything seemed lost and we were all scared of what would happen..You would stand among us, like a light in the dark and make us remember who we are. You may have never seen yourself as a hero, but you were ours. You may never have realized it, but your confidence towards us and unyielding trust made us go forward. You tied us all together, and you didn't even need any superpowers to do that. We will miss you, my lady. We will all miss you dearly..The pain we all felt that day..Why does it feel as if everyone dies before me ? I lost my mother, my lover, my friends..And now, I lost you. Seems like I will be the last one standing at the end..and I feel as if it's worse. How could I bring hope when I have no more hope to give ? I know that people are counting on me, but I keep losing the ones I love because of it. But, I do hope to join you in the Gods' realm at the end..Until then, keep an eye on John and my mother for me, okay ?"

She turns around and takes a shaky breath before letting one last tear roll down her cheek. She then walks out with her hair gracefully floating around her like the wings of a bird. She doesn't notice your smile at the end of the recording, nor hears your last words.

" Keep bringing hope, Diana, like you brought me hope when I was alone..Keep shining, for you are the star that many people count on to find their way."

[pxheart]

A @damijonsecretsanta for @queerbutstillhere  I hope you like it! 

I don’t know what befell your original secret santa but I had lots of fun filling in for them :))) 

A bit late to wish you a merry xmas, so have a happy new year and a fantastic 2021! (surely better than 2020 at least 😩💕) 

Here is a little 1k fic to accompany the fanart ;) 

Winter bliss

The snow was beating down on Metropolis in a way that made Jon fear it might be caused by the supernatural. 

Not HIS problem however. He was done with super-heroing. Having to study for university finals, working at the coffee shop AND having such a boyfriend as Damian Wayne was more than enough work. 

And what a nice torture it was...

...the last part, at the very least. Finals were torture and no one could convince him otherwise. Working at the coffee shop was fine. Except on rush hour. That was hell. 

Sighing, he ran inside their complex, shaking out snow from his hair before getting inside. He knew that if he were to wet the floors, his adorable boyfriend would chew him out, and that was a scary thought. He might not go out every night to beat criminals anymore, but he could still kick ass. Especially HIS ass. 

Upon entering, he was greeted by a soft crackly music coming out from Damian’s -stolen form Wayne manor- vintage turntable. Sinatra was gently singing ‘Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away…”.

A nice spicy smell hung in the air, and when he reached their living room he found out why. A steaming cup of warm chai tea latte was waiting for him. Damian had a super secret amazing recipe he refused to share. It could either come from Alfred, or be some kind of adaption of a magic murder potion from the league of assassins, one never knew with Damian. Either way, it was delicious. 

He sipped from it thankfully, and raised his eyes to find...LEGS. 

Long, slender, beautiful legs raised in the air, twisting into a graceful bowed position. He followed their curve, to find…

He blushed. They had been dating for six months now, and sometimes he still couldn’t believe his luck. Damian was, simply putting it, gorgeous. People kept saying that the robin with the best butt was the first one, but that’s only because they had never got a chance to take a good look at Damian’s. 

Not that Jon wanted them to. Damian was his. And so was his ass, thank you very much. 

He gulped down his latte a bit more forcefully than was usually advised, and Damian bended his back even more, coming to touch the ground in front of his head in a perfectly executed ‘Urdhva Dhanurasana’, if Jon's memory of every time Damian had tried -and failed- to teach him anything about yoga was serving him right.

All the while, since this apparently was not hard enough, three puffballs were zigzagging through his arms and feet. One of them, an orange tabby kitten -that Jon had lovingly named 'Red the hot chili pepper menace'- even started to climb up Damian's yoga pant leg and Jon winced, knowing fully well his darling's skin was not as impervious as his to the tiny but sharp kitten claws. 

Damian, for his part, looked up at Jon, smiled, engaged his core strength and pulled himself up to a standing position, scooped up the cat, turned and…

"Hello, beloved. Had a nice day at school?" He asked, nonchalantly.

Jon wanted to scowl and say that "no, my day was actually terrible and I want to cry" but he found, as always, that he was unable to do anything but smile back like a love struck idiot when confronted by the image of Damian Wayne, ex fearless Robin, wearing a plush knitted sweater while kissing the head of a fluffy purring kitten. 

"It's  getting nicer by the second" he said softly, leaning down to gently kiss the other. 

Damian snaked one arm around his neck, inside his jacket, and then his shirt, his warm hand softly scratching between his shoulder blades and sending shocks of pleasure down his neck. Jon took it as an invitation to get closer, deepen the kiss and he licked the taste of jasmine tea off Damian's lips…

...until a sharp meow of protest didn't break the moment, and Damian let out a yelp of pain. 

Apparently Red the hot chili pepper kitty had not particularly enjoyed being squished between his two foster dads, and had protested loudly while he sank his sharp teeth to make the message clear. 

"Well. Get out of this wet jacket, beloved. You look like you need some cuddles" he said with a smirk, passing him the kitten and sliding the jacket off his shoulders for him. 

Jon felt his heart swell three times its size, and not for the first time he marveled at the softness Damian let himself show now. Once upon a time he used to keep it well hidden. He tried to be the perfect warrior, the emotionless killing machine his mother had bred him to be. Now that he had left that chapter behind, he had bloomed into the caring, kind sweet and funny person Jon had always known him to be and Jon… he didn't  think he could ever get tired of basking in it. 

He let himself be manhandled on the plush carpet by the sofa, in front of the tv, and melted back against Damian's embrace as he  sat right behind him, wrapping his legs around his shoulders and hugging him tight like a cute warm snuggle monkey. They stayed like that for a while, as silent as the snow falling outside their window. Jon closed his eyes and breathed in Damian's familiar homy scent, and felt the screams of the world that were constantly attacking his senses fade into blessed silence. 

"So" Damian muttered by his ear "how actually was your day?"

Jon sighed "Hellish. But I wasn't  lying, babe. Just being here with you I'm feeling blesses"

"Sap" Damian answered fondly.

He grabbed Jon's face and tilted it back to kiss his forehead, his nose, both his apple cheeks and then, finally, he pressed his lips against his.

Jon hummed happily, parted his lips to let Damian's tongue steal his breath away. 

If Red the hot chili pepper tried to stop them again, scaling Jon's pant leg and furiously scratching at his knee, no one paid him any notice.

He might not be a superhero anymore, but being an invulnerable half alien superman still had its advantages….

[tickle-bugs]

Justice League Headcanons

So...yeah. Blame @fickle-tiction and @fanficsandfluff but I can’t get JL out of my head. I know next to nothing in terms of canon and I only enjoy a handful of DC movies, so this is the beginning of what I am calling the BEU (Bug Extended Universe). 

Essentially, in the words of Nick Fury, ‘I recognize your canon, but seeing as it’s a stupid-ass canon, I have elected to ignore it :)’. A mish-mash of everything I’ve learned about DC through osmosis and my own personal vibe checks :)

This is absurdly long so everything is under the cut:

Clark Kent

- Superman? NO, Superdork. 

- He’s extremely clumsy. If he wasn’t as fast as a speeding bullet he’d get his ass handed to him ten times over. He has two left feet. 

- He has a sweet tooth like no one’s business. Lois once found him perched on the kitchen counter at 3 am eating the donuts she brought home from work. 

- Super playful and affectionate! King of bear hugs! Country boy I love youuuuuuu

- Curses like a sailor. Do you really think Clark ‘Smallville, Kansas’ Kent is wholesome? He stubbed his toe once and yelled FUCK so loud that the windows vibrated. Everyone who isn’t in the league thinks he’s a boyscout but the league knows the truth. 

- Forgets about his powers a lot. He has been known to run through walls/take doors off their hinges when he’s excited. 

- Goblin. He loves messing with Bruce and roping Barry into his schemes. 

- Clark being ticklish is actually smth that can be so personal? His laugh is so loud and he always goes ‘sorry’ and tries to be quieter but it does NOT work. He has flight instincts more than fight instincts so he often starts unconsciously floating away when he’s tickled it’s so cute. He giggles a lot and he’s not particularly embarrassed by it.

- Do NOT get me started on ler Clark I could write a dissertation. He is SO playful and teasy but also sweet? He definitely is the type to laugh along with his lee. He definitely allows any sort of retaliation/fighting back like,,, if you manage to crawl away it’s because he let you, and if he wants too, he can be very mean and immovable.

- Bruce and Barry are his favorite targets. He doesn’t go after Diana because, frankly, he doesn’t have a death wish. He loves to cause problems on purpose by squeezing Arthur’s side and then blaming it on Barry. (Hal Jordan isn’t in the DCEU Justice League but I wish he was...they’d be partners in crime <3)

Bruce Wayne

- Okay let’s clarify some things: he’s not actually an asshole. He can be abrasive and snarky but he’s more towards the sarcastic gruff side vs straight-up mean.

- A lot of people think he’s genuinely an asshole/disconnected rich guy because he has a terrible habit of zoning out/interrupting people? Bruce actually just has intense ADHD that he refuses to get diagnosed, no matter how much Alfred pushes him. He doesn’t care what people think about him and he’s mostly learned how to manage it, so he leaves it alone.

- That being said, his friendship with Barry has me :’) Yes, he thinks Barry’s a pest (affectionate), but they share a few science-related hyperfixations (robotics, chemical engineering, etc). They can frequently be found holed up in the Batcave with a week’s worth of food and caffeine, and they’re just....tinkering. Watching them at work is amazing because as much as they annoy each other, they respect each other :)

- He’s 100% a cat person. He doesn’t have a problem with dogs, he just prefers cats. He feeds the strays that hang out around the Manor all the time...

-...which Alfred begs him not to do, because Bruce is severely allergic. He thinks he can power through the allergies until one of the stray cats does the face-headbump thing and he’s incapacitated emotionally and physically for the rest of the day. 

- He severely restrains his emotions but like...catch him on a good day or in a good mood and he’ll smile and laugh, especially in friendly company. He just generally believes in maintaining a poker face so no one can read him. 

- Not to be disrespectful but...thighs. I am Looking. 

- Bruce has a wonderful laugh. He’s not much of a giggler tbh but he has this open, clear, slightly scratchy kinda laugh (his voice is permanently hoarse from the Batman Voice). It’s so lovely. He has a habit of covering his mouth bc he’s embarrassed of his smile but if he finds something very funny he’ll laugh openly. 

- Thee Batman is ticklish and he...doesn’t hate it? Like of course he protests ten ways from Sunday but he more minds the ‘guys stop you’re ruining my dark and brooding facade’ bit. He hates being teased though and he will throw hands. 

- Circling back to the emotions thing, he’s very good at controlling his reactions, which means he has thoroughly convinced everyone he’s not ticklish. Except Clark, stupidly perceptive Clark, because he can hear Bruce’s heartbeat and see the way he clenches his jaw to avoid smiling. 

Diana Prince

- WIFEY!!!!! 

- Diana is hilarious okay? She’s just...so fucking funny. Her jokes never miss. You wouldn’t think she’s the quippy type, but she is, and she’s damn good at it. In a distant alternate universe, Peter Parker senses a rival. 

- Loves fresh fruit, but especially strawberries? She makes frequent trips to the local farmer’s market. 

- She also has a raging sweet tooth. She and Clark work together to steal sweets and buy snacks. 

- Will not back down from a challenge, ever. It’s kinda a problem.

- She has such a sweet laugh :’) It’s so bouncy and melodic and she scrunches her nose. She WILL snort and it’s the cutest thing ever. Yes she’s ticklish, but no one gets more than five seconds of laughter out of her before she turns the tables. 

- World’s meanest ler. Not only is she frequently on the prowl, she is near-ruthless, especially if she’s been baited. Once she sets her sights on someone, she won’t rest until she’s heard their laugh. 

- Diana is very mischievous and loves hearing her friends laugh. It’s impossible to be in her vicinity for more than five minutes without at LEAST a few pokes. She is not above just,,, random tickles either. 

- Nails. That is all. 

Arthur Curry

- Why are his tiddies always out? Someone please explain.

- The most targeted for pranks ever. Diana especially. Something about him just attracts goblinism. 

- He’s coming for Clark’s bear hugger crown. He picks people up so often that they’re just used to it now. 

- Playfighting and roughhousing is his love language. He absolutely loves wrestling with anyone who’ll humor him. He and Diana frequently tussle because they’re both good sports about it (Bruce is a little bit of a sore loser. Just a smidge). 

- Thinks he can get away with anything, which is decidedly not true. He just nopes his way out of the room and everyone’s like D:< get back here and atone for your sins!!! But Arthur’s already in the Pacific Ocean. 

- I like to think he’s ticklish, just not super ticklish y’know? He probably has a couple hidden spots that make him lose it though. Like he’ll definitely laugh and fall over, but he can and will fight back. Oh boy, will he fight back. 

- Batman: No fear.

Diana and Arthur sneaking up behind him:

Batman: One fear. 

- Y’know that picture of Jason Momoa sneaking up behind Henry Cavill on the red carpet? That is extremely relevant. Arthur loves to sneak up behind people and just...take them down. 

- Thinks Barry is annoying (affectionate) and the two of them are constantly chasing each other around. Barry is fast but Arthur’s strong (and wayy less ticklish than Barry)

- Physical affection!! He always has his arms around someone’s shoulders or something. He’s just a touchy kind of guy :)

Barry Allen

- Speedy boy! ADHD king! Sometimes his thoughts are also at superspeed, which means he talks way too fast and no one can understand him? But Bruce speaks fluent Barry and he translates often (though not without a labored sigh beforehand). 

- Physically affectionate but casual about it? He likes to play with people’s hands while he’s talking, bump shoulders with whoever he’s next to, etc. He doesn’t really realize he does it either. It’s not uncommon for him to be talking to Clark or Diana and they just...unconsciously give him their hand before he reaches for it.

- Okay so y’know how Bruce feeds the strays? Who do you think lets them in the first place? Barry has tried to adopt every stray he comes across, and when Alfred inevitably says no, Barry runs them to the shelter himself :’)

- Gifting is his love language!!! If he sees anything that remotely reminds him of his friends, he brings it to them. 

- He likes to hang out with Victor because he’s quiet, but doesn’t mind when Barry rambles, which he tends to do quite often. Barry will catch himself rambling and trail off, but Victor will encourage him to keep going, because he’s listening. 

- Thee Pillsbury Doughboy. Just these high-pitched, bouncy, frantic giggles that only get worse and eventually morph into cackles. He hiccups a lot too :’)

- Okay so he’s not a flailer but he’s super squirmy. Barry will cling onto his ler’s arms just to hold onto something. He kicks his legs too (he does this when he’s not being tickled either, if he laughs and he’s sitting somewhere he kicks). He also just constantly tries to crawl away. If he isn’t pinned down he will drag himself to safety. He also has a habit of curling up :’)

- Absolutely invented the speed-tickle. He actually doesn’t often use his powers (unless he’s chasing down Clark, because Clark isn’t above breaking the sound barrier to escape). He’s just got incredible hand-eye coordination and precision. His hands will be absolutely everywhere and he is so teasy about it. 

- Tries not to start fights he can’t finish, but he always gets roped into Clark’s mischief and gets targeted with revenge tickles. 

- He has tickled Clark once. It was incredible, amazing, showstopping, spectacular. Literally his crowning achievement. Did Clark absolutely destroy him afterwards? Yes, but it was so worth it. 

Victor Stone

- Quiet and stoic, but he’s always preferred listening and interjecting with a joke or two. 

- Closest with Barry and Diana, but he’s making an effort to bond with everyone.

- Unfortunately not ticklish :( I like to think soft touches on his face will make him smile and lean away, but it’s not going to get a laugh from him.

- Doesn’t often get involved in tickly shenanigans, but when he does, he surprises everyone with how much fun he has. A different, warmer side of him comes out when he’s among his friends.

- He’s a hugger! Definitely awkward about it, but he loves hugs and just...holding his friends. 

- He collects hoodies. He can’t really feel them when he’s wearing them, but he likes them and the idea of it. Barry seems to slip him a new hoodie every week. Victor has no idea where he gets them from but he’s not complaining. 

- He is an enabler. He will look at Bruce like :| “no, I don’t know where Barry and Clark are, nor do I no what they’re planning” But they’re literally right behind Bruce, about to squeeze his sides. 

- That being said, he won’t do that with Diana. If she asks where they are, he’ll subtly nod his head in their direction. Even in jest, he will never lie to her. Which makes him Thee person to avoid when Diana’s on her mischievous streaks.

[morgansunflower]

Mom's A Avenger?

Superman/Clark X Wife! Reader

Batman/Bruce X Sister! Reader

Captain America X platonic-Reader

Hawkeye X Platonic-Reader

Y/N, retired Black Widow she is Superman's wife and Batman's sister. Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Conner(Young Justice), Kon(90s Superboy), Jonathan and Damian are under 20.

To some I'm known as Y/N, to some mother or mom, to some aunt Y/N, to one man sister, to a another wife, but very few people know me as Blackwidow aka Natasha Romanoff. I was 18 when I went deep undercover has Blackwidow and changed my name to Natasha Romanov. Joining the team with my old teammates the Avengers. After I fell in love with Clark aka Superman and we married I quit. Haven't spoke to my teammates in year's. Only Clark knows I'm both Blackwidow and Y/N. I haven't told anyone to keep them safe. I hear my phone Bruce! I answered

-"I need you to watch my son's"

"what's wrong?"

-"no time to explain why I'm sending them to you now"

I looked seeing my nephews

"I see them keep in touch with me"

He grunted I rolled my eye's

"I mean it" I said hanging up

The boy's got out my son's greeting them

"I do not care if father believes this is to dangerous!" Damian said

"hate to say I agree with short stack" Jason said

"boy's"

"aunt Y/N you must agree with me that father is being unreasonable!" Damian said

"Damian I stand with your father in the fact it's too dangerous"

"mom" Conner muttered

"bullshit you've never been in danger before" Jason said

"watch your tongue Jason!" I said irritated I sighed "everyone get inside"

"but" I cut Jonathan off

"now!"

All the boy's sat on the couch and floor looking at me

"I want you all to remain calm. Clark and Bruce are in Metropolis dealing with League mission that is too dangerous for you all. You all have orders to stay here"

"what?! Why?!" Dick asked

"mom you can't be serious" Conner said

"Where just supposed to nothing!" Kon said

"hell no!" Jason said

"damnit! No! I refuse to be cowardly and do nothing!" Damian said

"I am not sitting here doing nothing when dad could need our help!" Kon said

"mom Kal's right!" Conner said

"yeah!" Jonathan said

"I think everyone can agree this is a horrible idea!" Tim said

They continued standing up I whistled loud haven't done that in a while

"everyone sit down!"

The reluctantly sat down I took a deep breath

"stay in here"

I walked to my closet I pushed a button revealing my suit. I put it on along with my gear. I put in my intercom I turned on the radio hearing Metropolis is under attack from Doomsday. I looked in the mirror taking a deep breath. I called a old friend

-"Romanov?"

"hey Roger's long time no see. You know I wouldn't be calling unless it was important"

-"I'm listening"

"get Hawkeye meet me in Metropolis ASAP"

-"copy that"

I walked to the living room shocked looks from the boy's

"Dick, Conner you two are in charge no one gets in or out without my permission have I made myself clear"

"yes ma'am"

"great! Help yourselves if I can't make it for dinner there's pizza's in the freezer."

I walked to the door I put my hand on the handle stopping

"mom you ok?" Conner asked

"almost forgot!"

I hugged them and kissed their face's

"I love you boy's behave listen to Dick and Conner"

I left I ran to the truck driving to Metropolis oh no shit. Complete chaos I saw the Quinjet it landed I got out

"you have a lot of explaining to do" Clint said

"no time let's fight!"

"that's our girl" Steve said

The city almost ruined people panicked I saw Doomsday slamming Bruce to a wall. Steve through his shield at his arm. He let go my brother only to run to us Hawkeye shot his arrows at Doomsday but the wouldn't go through. I ran to Bruce he's alive he got up

"shit" he muttered

Clint switched to explosives and shot them at him. I saw my bike in the Quinjet I got on. I got on starting the bike I through a explosive on Doomsday. He turned and ran towards me. I drove farther out of the city to keep the people safe. Bruce, Barry, Steve, Clint, Clark and Diana came

"you have explaining to do when we get home!" Bruce said

"shut up and fight" I said irritated

"hey honey. What are you doing out here?" Clark said

"just helping you dear" I said more irritated

We continued fighting him Barry unconscious in the Quinjet. Doomsday threw my brother he hit the wall hard. I drove to him fast I got off. I felt his pulse he's alive he groaned. I carried him behind the building leaning him on the wall

"stay here!"

I ran back seeing Diana hitting him with all her strength, Steve hitting his shield at him, Clint shooting his arrows and Clark hitting him. Main goal get him worn out and kill him. I saw Bruce!

"get your ass back!"

He tried to stand I put his arm around my shoulder and walked him to the Quinjet. I sat him on the floor next to Barry who was already up

-"Nat, help evacuate the city"

"on it, cap"

I ran helping the cops evacuate the people finally getting everyone out with Barry's help

"we've got this thank you for all your help"

I ran off hearing them leave. I saw everyone but I didn't see Clark or Doomsday

"where are they?!!?"

I saw Clark flying his suit torn and lip bleeding. We ran seeing Clark fighting him. I shot my guns at him he looked at me

"I think that just pisssed him off more" Clint said

He ran to me I rolled under him turning. Clark grabbed me and put me on a roof

"Clark!"

"sorry Hon"

I ran down the stairs I'm going to kick your ass Clark! I made it down seeing everyone extremely beat up. I got on my bike and shot the missiles at him. Clark flew fast hitting him in the face he dropped to his knees. We used it to our advantage giving it all get got. I saw the Quinjet Bruce flying it. Diana and Clark held him back. Bruce shot him with the guns in the bat-wing finally Doomsday fell.

"well that was easy" Clint said with a dramatic sigh

I laughed

"woo!" Barry said

"dinner at my house" I said exhausted

"we'd love to" Steve said

That night we went to the Manor because my house is to small. All my son's, nephew's, friend's, my husband, my brother, my sister in law and Alfred in the living room. Nearly half of us bandaged and in slings. I sat next to my husband exhausted.

"so let me get this straight your real name is Y/N Wayne you grew up in this house. You're married to Superman your brother is Batman. Have I missed anything?" Clint asked

"that explains everything" I said

"so aunt Y/N's been a Badass this hole time" Jason said

"careful Jay cap doesn't like that kinda talk"

"your really not gonna let me live that one down, are you?" Steve said sighing

"not a chance"

"tell us a story" Jonathan said

"oh you don't want to hear any of my old death defying stories"

"come on mom! Tell us your Avenger story's"

"yeah aunt Y/N"

I looked at Clint and Steve whom both smiled at me.

"alright"