#abusive household

[livininaburninghouse]

It is a valid response.

[letteriwillneversend]

having parents that are nothing more than unfriendly strangers wearing familiar voices that say familiar things makes you wonder if there was ever any such thing as home.

it makes you wonder what it might be like to have a bad day and have someone you can call or talk to. what it might be like to have someone you can to for advice or comfort. what it might be like to have a shoulder or lap you can finally rest your head on. what it might be like to have a bowl of cut fruit that spells out unconditional love.

some days i find myself looking for home even when i don’t know what to look for.

[xan-the-emo-trans-man]

I just called myself out so let me call out the rest of you as well:

Do you actually hate yourself or were you just raised in an abusive household?

ask yourself this question: would you still hate yourself if you were raised in a house with good parents that had a healthy marriage and you had all your needs met?

because Idk about you but for me that answer is no. I don’t think I would if I didn’t have a toxic mom to constantly criticize me and someone I constantly compare myself to. I don’t think I’d hate myself if I never had people tearing me down in the first place

[bitchesgetriches]

(tw abuse) Can I say thank you for your blog?

I'm currently trying to escape an abusive household, but I wasn't sure of how I could get money or a job because I'm not allowed to get a job. Or learn how to get one. Or anything similar.

Which I later learned is financial abuse.

But I found a lot of useful resources and info here on how to get money online. And in person...

Thank you!

Honey, we are so, so, SO fucking proud of you. In the darkness of an impossible situation, you've somehow found the strength to seek out help and resources. You're an inspiration to us all, and we are rooting for you so hard. Keep in touch--we want to know when you're safe and out of your abusive household.

For anyone else who might be dealing with a similar situation, here is some information on financial abuse and where to go for help:

When Money is the Weapon: Understanding Intimate Partner Financial Abuse 

How Abusive Workplaces Mirror Abusive Relationships 

Did we just help you out? Tip us!

[the-stupid-cat]

Kosa:

its very invasive.

I probably wouldn't mind it if it was just like: "hey! we should inform kids how to be safe online!" "...anything else?" "heck no"

but its censoring things.

Things including suicide prevention. That is wrong.

besides, what if a kid is googling how to get out of an abusive household? They can't ask their parents that.

CONTACT YOUR SENATORS.

IT IS NOT A LAW YET.

AND IF NEVER SHOULD BE.

[booksforevermore13]

Luke and Annabeth's relationship closely mirrors that of an elder-sibling, younger-sibling relationship in an abusive household. Idk but I've been thinking about this a lot, so I need to put it out there to get it off my mind.

Their relationship is one siblings share in an abusive household. Where the elder one tries their absolute hardest to make sure that their sibling doesn't have to see or bear the burden of their family. That their sibling doesn't have to shoulder the burden that their older brother or sister has been carrying from the get-go.

The elder one tries their absolute freaking hardest, gets up in the morning even though for them, mornings seem the bleakest and nights the most treacherous. But they get through the day to make sure their sibling is safe. They shoulder the taunts, and insults, and tirades of their parents, take care of their breakdowns, and steps in as their therapist, even though on the inside, they are just done.

They are done with this nonsense, of having to be the bigger one in every shitty argument, of getting up each day and trying to understand what kind of day its gonna be, and then accepting their defeat because in this situation, triumph is a long time coming. They are done with their parents treating them as a punching bag. They are done stepping in every time their younger sibling fucks up and they have to step in to bear the brunt of their parent's wrath. They are done.

And so they leave. They leave their house when they come of age, and they go far far away, even though it kills them to leave their younger sibling behind, even though they know its wrong to flee because if they don't, they wouldn't be able to stop themselves from jumping off of a roof the next time they're on one.

They leave.

Leaving their little siblings behind.

And the younger ones just can't fathom what's up with them. I mean, of course the know, they've seen their older brothers and sisters struggling. But they just can't get over the betrayal, and the hurt, and the fact that they're the ones left behind. They're the ones who'd have to shoulder the burden now. There would be no one for them to turn to, or cry to, or share a dark joke with at the expense of their shitty parents and there would be no one left who'd be there to love them.

And I think that captures Luke and Annabeth's relationship so perfectly.

That is their essence.

[winnienora13]

Their first year, the Black brothers couldn’t attend their charm classes completely. They would exit the class in the middle of it to not break down in front of everyone because the flashing lights scared the shit out of them. They reminded them of Walburga.

On this happy note, have a good day

[wonderwithin-us]

hmmm you know what? one day I'll move out of my parents house. one day I won't have to ask for others for permission to exist. I would go where I want to go — perhaps to the café in the lane in front of my house, perhaps to the garden with my friends. I could make art without my dad getting angry, and I could cook whatever I wish to eat that morning and not all that's in the plate in front of me, and I could put on the pink bedsheets because I love them, and

And perhaps I won't have to hear my parents yell at me about not existing as they want me to be — I won't have to hear them disapprove my life choices from behind the door, what I'm doing, because in that house, I will be writing my own destiny.

[silliestcreature196]

Getting sick in an abusive household is fucking crazy

How the fuck are you gonna look at someone with visible symptoms of a debilitating illness and come at them with "You're just being lazy/making excuses"

[forthwtaintedsorrow]

i, most of the time, don't like this family or house. they are screaming and fighting each other for nothing. and I am tired of this. sometimes I like them, just sometimes. I feel like shit because of them, even when they are not talking or screaming at me. i feel so tired.

[livininaburninghouse]

Fuck you

[aqueencomplexx]

If you’re dating someone fresh out of an abusive household with relatives or an ex (friend or partner) then be patient. They will have issues. There will be a lot to deal with. Pushing them won’t help. Raising your voice will trigger them. Fast movements with make them flinch. It’s very hard to deal with, and it’s hard to be patient. If you really want to help them, to make the relationship work, then you must be patient. They are doing what they can, and trying to get themselves out of survival mode. It’s going to take a while. Months, one year, literal years, or less. Everyone does things at their own time. Pushing them will only make things worse.

Learn patience. Learn how to help them at their own pace. Show them you’re the strength they have to get better, if they want that.

Just be gentle with traumatize people. We’re not okay, and we are doing our best.

[fathers-rage]

I tell myself that I'm gentle, that's what I want to be, but this anger my father taught me, it's all I know

[biblicallyangry]

You tell me I act insane, again, for even the littlest of things and I want to say, in a voice like the Furies: if I am acting insane, it’s because you are driving me insane. You are the one who gave me a life and then chose to break it in two, before my black eyes, again and again and again. If I seem like I don’t know what to expect from life, that would be because you never gave me any information I could trust. If I seem lost, it’s because you didn’t do your job to build me a world worth trusting. If I am acting angry, it’s because I am. I am so, so fucking angry. And I would be - and I am entirely in the right for it.

[nothing0fnothing]

Oh here's a wild one.

When I was little, like no older than nine, I went to a Catholic school.

They were really strict about uniform and if your shirt wasn't tucked into your trousers or skirt you'd get into trouble. Not major trouble, just a teacher would minorly tell you off and tell you the rule was to make you "look smart."

I was autistic and took it literally. I thought that all tops were supposed to be tucked into all bottoms, otherwise I'd "look dumb."

I don't really do it at home because I'm usually dressed casual at home and I understand you don't have to look smart all the time, but the one day my step dad was being a little bit ... spicy.

Yanno when they're mad but they're not screaming or breaking things, they're just closing doors and putting down coffee mugs with a bit of extra sauce? Talking shortly to you? Waiting for someone to slip up so they have a reason to fly off the handle? Whatever. He's doing that.

Me being the golden child I'm tiptoeing around and doing everything right so it's not my turn the jenga tower falls down on, metaphorically speaking. So when I'm told to get changed out of my school clothes and into some day clothes I tuck my t shirt into my jeans. The thought process being it'll be the detail that makes me look a bit more put together and makes me less noticable.

It does the opposite.

I can't remember the exact interaction and how it went down but as soon as I realise he's honed in on my Dora the Explorer t tucked into my flower embroidery boot cut jeans in a negative way, I'm crying, while trying to explain I did it so I'd look smart.

"Smart?" he asks "you think this makes you look smart?"

"Yes." I say still crying.

"Who told you that?"

"School." I'm whinging. I know I'm doing it when I hear my voice. If I don't stop my mom won't help me either.

He really aggressively pulls my clothes, I can hear seams snapping, and slaps me on the torso, so now I'm fully wailing.

"You still think you look smart?" He asks

I say yes, knowing that no is just as bad.

He sends me upstairs "out of his sight" as he puts it. And I cry in the bathroom alone, expecting to get called down at any moment to pretend it didn't happen.

Instead my mom, who saw the whole interaction from the other room follows me.

"Why are you crying?" She asks me

"Because he hit me" I say. It's not true, I was crying before he hit me. But if I say I'm crying because he scared me she'll hit me again for crying for nothing.

"Where did he hit you?" She asks me.

I'm stunned because she watched him. She knows where he hit me.

"On the belly" I say "when he finished untucking my shirt."

"You're a fucking liar." She says, and storms out of the bathroom, leaving me to cry alone.

[misfit-among-the-angels]

Oh no the fucking smoke alarm. I fucking hate it. I can't. 😭

How can i fucking live with this sensory hell?!

But i understand. I deserve to be abused.