#along with my other 200 drafts

[muqingfx]

tbh i wanted to colour this because its so goddam bland but nah ill pass thanks the more i look at this the more my eyes hurt and i start cringing so im never coming back to this again but ill post it anyway and let the world see because im a hypocrite also because everyone deserves to see fengqing at any given moment so ENJOY

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

Body Like a Back Road

Request: Joe Burrow and reader go on spontaneous road trip during off season.

Warnings: smut (fingering, intercourse), language, mentions of a funeral

A/N: my second stand alone Joe fic! Enjoy!

"In 500 feet, turn right". The voice of the GPS startled you out of your nap, your head knocking against the window as the car went over a pothole. "Ow!" You pressed a hand to the side of your face, grimacing at the sharp pain. Joe snickered as he glanced over at you, his hands flexing open and closed as he balanced them on the top of the steering wheel. "Good, you're awake."

"Where are we?", you grumbled out as you stood up, stretching your arm over your chest in hopes of getting the knot out of your shoulder from sleeping against the door. There were no signs to indicate your current location, and for the past eight hours, everything out of your window looked the same, nothing but trees along each side and the open road.

"We're just outside of St. Louis. At least according to the GPS, but I think I made a couple wrong turns about an hour ago, so I know fuck all where we are." Joe bit at his thumb nail, something he always did when he was stressed. "Great." You whispered, leaning your head against the window. The vibration of the car was lulling you back to sleep, your eyelids growing heavy.

The season was finally over, and after a less than stellar year, Joe was going stir crazy sitting around with nothing to do. He could only hit the gym so many times a day and watch game tape over and over before it started to get boring. When you mentioned to him that you had to travel to Denver to attend the funeral of one of your distant cousins as a favor to your mom, he offered to tag along with you, and against your better judgement you said yes.

Going to a family funeral was something that a boyfriend did for their girlfriend, not for their fuck buddy. You didn't want to give Joe, and honestly, you're own heart, the wrong idea about where you stood, but the thought of making a 17 hour drive alone sounded like torture.

Your relationship with Joe was...complicated, to say the least. You had been friends through college, and for the longest, it was nothing more than that, but when you both ended up in Cincy, Joe was drafted to the Bengals and you had just settled in the city with your first big-girl job, it became something more. You were both lonely, living in a new place, and you leaned on each other for support.

The first time you slept with Joe, you considered it a fluke, a slip up that could easily happen between friends. After months of consistently ending up in bed together, you realized that the two of you were in too deep. Now, a couple years later, it had become more habit than anything else, and you weren't even sure if you could call yourself friends as much as you had become a source of comfort for one another. You knew it was best to end it before anyone got hurt, but for some reason, you just couldn't.

Joe slapped your thigh, making you jump. "Hey, I need you to stay up. This GPS is useless."

"In 200 feet, turn left onto Franklin Street."

"Franklin Street?!" Joe gestured wildly to the left of him. "There is no fuckin' Franklin Street! Does she want me to drive into the woods?" Joe scoffed as he leaned back in his seat. You leaned forward to see there in fact was no Franklin Street, chuckling to yourself. "Don't let her get to you, J. You know she's not real, right?"

"Ya know what...its not even the GPS, its your damn car. Piece of junk." He slapped the console, the volume dial falling out of place. You grabbed it, shoving it back onto its slot. "Hey, Darla has been there for me since I was 16. She is a classic." Truthfully, Darla was hanging on by a thread, and the last time you brought her to a mechanic they offered you $200 for her to use for scraps, but you didn't have the money for a new or gently used car right now, and as long as you didn't go over 50 mph, she drove fine.

"A classic piece of shit", he mumbled under his breath, earning a slap on the arm from you. "Shit!", he rubbed at his chest, "do you wanna drive? 'Cause I can pull over right now."

"Funny, because she wasn't a piece of shit all of the times we were doin' it in the backseat." You propped your feet on the dashboard.

"Yeah, good times." Joe's ran his fingers through his hair nervously, his face starting to heat up. He was glad you went back to sleep so you couldn't see him start to sweat.

"Wake me up when we get to Kansas." You grabbed Joe's hat from the dashboard, pulling it over your eyes to block out the evening sun.

****

The next few hours went by like a dream as you went in and out of consciousness, listening to Joe's terrible singing along to the Hamilton soundtrack as he managed to eat through all of the snacks you packed for a two day drive.

You took in a deep breath as you woke up to darkness, the overhead light blinding you as you rubbed your eyes to try to focus your vision. As soon as you noticed you were alone, the driver's door was wide open, and Joe was gone, you began to panic.

"Joe! Joe, where are you? This isn't funny!" All horror movie protocol went out of the window as you unbuckled and climbed out of the car.

"Joe!" Silence. You grabbed your phone out of your back pocket and turned on the flashlight as you rounded the back of the car, illuminating the eerie thicket of trees you were parked next to. "Joe, I swear to God, if you're hiding somewhere I'm gonna kill you." You took a step forward, jumping as you heard a twig snap beneath your feet. You held your breath, feeling your pounding heartbeat in your ears as you listened for any sound of life. Again, silence.

"You know what? I'm just gonna assume you're already dead and keep it pushing." You called out to the open. You had seen Friday the 13th enough times to know there was no way you were going to outrun anyone. You turned back to the car, noticing a figure flash by out of the corner of your eye.

"BOOO!!" Joe jumped out from behind the car, his arms swinging above his head to appear terrifying. You collided with him, bouncing off of his strong frame, and landed on your ass.

"Ha! You should have seen your face!" Joe bellowed over with laughter as you stood and dusted the dirt off of your pants, a scowl on your face. "Fuck, that was so worth it." He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.

You shoved him, hard, making his back hit the car. "What the hell were you even doing? Why did we stop?" You opened the trunk and grabbed a sweatshirt out of your bag, feeling the chill on your skin as the temperature dropped after dark. "Had to take a piss."

"I feel like we've been driving forever. How far to the motel?" You were beginning to get cranky, your empty stomach contributing to your sour mood. "Still got another two hours until we get to Kansas City and stop for the night." You both got back into the car, but as Joe tried to turn the engine, it only sputtered a couple of times before dying out.

"C'mon", Joe groaned, cranking the key again to no avail. 'Fuck!" He slammed his hand against the steering wheel, hitting the horn. "Your piece of shit car died, Y/N."

"Its not Darla's fault, you probably made her mad stopping in the middle of nowhere."

He pressed his forehead to the wheel. "Please tell me you have roadside assistance."

"Um...define "roadside assistance"?" You had AAA at one point, but let your membership expire when you couldn't afford the monthly payment anymore. "Y/N! What if I wasn't here?! You would have been stranded in the middle of Kansas by yourself with no way to get help!" Joe didn't mean to yell at you, but just the thought of you being out here alone was stressing him out.

"Good thing you're here, then." You harmlessly placed a hand on his thigh to reassure him as you scrolled the internet for tow trucks. Neither of you realized that Joe had grabbed your hand in his, interlacing your fingers. As you rose your head, feeling him massaging your fingers mindlessly as he stared ahead, you felt your stomach flip. "Joe", you uttered out, waiting for him to look at you.

"Oh, sorry." He snatched his hand back, running his fingers through his blonde locks. He didn't even realize he had done it. You were his safe place, and touching you brought him comfort in a way that he really didn't understand himself. You were no stranger to his touch, but it was always in the name of getting off.

"I think I found a place a couple miles away. ETA is...2 hours." You let out a frustrated sigh. Waiting two hours for a two truck meant you weren't going to see a shower or bed anytime soon. You desperately wanted to wash this road trip off with the hottest water a hotel shower could produce.

Joe leaned his seat back, the worn leather creaking underneath him as he sunk down, crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. "What are you doing?", you asked, shifting in your seat to face him.

"What does it look like?"

"You can't fall asleep. What if some monster comes and snatches me out of my window?" You were partly kidding, partly terrified that would actually happen. "That's not gonna happen", he huffed, "I'm not that lucky." You scoffed, throwing your feet over his lap. "You need to stay up and keep me company. Those are the rules of the roadtrip."

"Please. I just drove eight hours, five of which you were asleep."

"Joe, please. Just until the tow truck gets here."

"Fine. Tell me about your cousin. Were you close?", Joe hummed, scratching his nose. "Technically she's my mom's cousin, and no, I've never met her. My mom was close with her at one time, but they lost touch years ago. I'm just going to represent the family."

Joe opened an eye to peek at you. "You're going all the way to Denver for someone you've never met?"

"Why do you sound so shocked? I can do things out of the kindness of my heart." You clutched your chest dramatically, but Joe just chuckled, dropping his shoulders in a sigh. "It's just... ya know what? Nevermind."

"What? Tell me."

"Its just...are you sure that's all that it is? In all the time I've known you, you do things out of comfort. I'm not saying its a bad thing, but this isn't like you." He was looking at you know, his blue eyes illuminated by the orange hued overhead lighting. He was staring into your soul, like he was trying to pull something out of you, and you squirmed underneath the scrutiny.

Your head snapped when you saw a pair of headlights coming down the road, but it was just a passing car. "We have had sex in this car so many times, because you don't even want to come to my place most of the time." You turned back to Joe, whose eyes were closed again.

You bit at your bottom lip. You never realized anyone was paying attention to you that closely, especially not Joe. "I've been thinking a lot about the things I've settled for in my life, and this felt like a breath of fresh air, something different. I'm going a funeral, but I'm also getting out of Ohio for a minute."

Your words hit Joe like a ton of bricks. He quickly sat up. "Are you thinking about leaving Ohio?"

"Eventually", you shrugged. "You didn't think I'd be there forever did you?" you giggled, playing with the hem of your sweatshirt. "I mean, I guess, I- didn't give it much thought." Joe let in a sharp breath to stop his fumbling. He did think you'd be there forever, or at least, he always thought you'd be there as long as he was.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find a new fuck buddy", you said in jest, crossing your legs one over the other. Joe felt his throat go dry, his skin crawling in the silence. He was desperate to change the subject and get his mind off all of the terrible possibilities. "How much longer?"

You checked your phone. "Still got another hour. I'm starving. Did you really eat all of the snacks?" You sat up and crawled into the back of the car to search the bags you packed. "Really, Joe, even my Cheetos? Aren't you on some sort of athlete diet?" You threw the empty bag at him, the plastic hitting him in the face. "I was hungry." He tried to go to the sleep to the sound of you rummaging behind him.

"Hey, look what I found." Joe opened his eyes to see a gold-wrapped condom dangling in front of his face. "I have an idea of how we can pass the time", you whispered in his ear, making him shiver. "If you're not too tired."

"Fuck it." With a grunt, he ripped the condom out of your hands, and took it between his teeth as he unbuttoned his jeans. You frantically climbed to the front, stripping off your sweatshirt before climbing over him to straddle his legs. You turn off the overhead light, moonlight pouring over both of you through the window.

Goosebumps rose on your skin as you pulled him in for a messy kiss, your skin on fire even though seconds ago you were freezing. As you made out, his hands trailed around your waist, inching closer and closer to your spine before his large hands slid down the small of your back and grabbed rough handfuls of your ass, his fingers digging into your delicate skin as your back arched.

He began to move your hips slowly back and forth, making you grind against his pelvis, but he was going too slow for your taste, so you grabbed at his hands, circling your hips against him with an eagerness that had his hips bucking from sensitivity. You could feel him grow hard quickly against your inner thigh, letting out little moans into your mouth as your lips lingered together.

'Y/N, honey-", Joe could barely get the words out, his chest heaving with each breath. "What?", you huffed out without losing your pacing. "What's the rush?", His brow knitted together in pain as his cock rubbed against his zipper. "The tow truck is gonna be here any minute." Joe nodded, holding you in place. You backed away from him, pushing the hair that was stuck to his face with sweat out of his eyes. "We're having sex. I'd like to have use of my dick afterwards, okay?"

You giggled, pulling him by the collar of his shirt for another kiss, alternating between sucking on his top and bottom lips. You moved your hips again, this time with more control, focusing on the friction against your clit with each movement. "Better?", you questioned, only earning a moan from Joe. You could feel yourself growing wet, your panties soaked as you built your orgasm off of friction alone. Joe fumbled with the button of your shorts, sliding his hand down your front, feeling the wetness pooled against the cotton fabric.

"Shit, I didn't realize you were so ready." He toyed with the band of your panties, snapping the elastic against your skin. "Take these off." You lifted yourself off of Joe's lap, settling in the passenger seat, and shuffled your shorts and panties down your legs, kicking them into the back seat. Joe pulled you back onto his lap, eliciting a squeal from you, and in a single breath, he has you writhing on top of him again, his thumb pressing against your clit as he draws agonizingly circles around the sensitive bud.

"Fuck, fuck, don't stop." You hiss, guiding his fingers to drag through your drenched folds, humping against his hand. He slides one of his large digits inside of your pussy, feeling you clench around him, your muscles pulsing as he begins to thrust in and out of you. He slips another finger inside, and you feel the stretch, taking deep breaths as he hooks his fingers and strokes against your cushiony ceiling.

Watching your face contort with pleasure, your chest bouncing in front of him with your head thrown back has him at a loss for words, desperate to get his hands on every inch of you. He helps you get your shirt off over your head, reaching behind your back to easily unclasp the hooks of your bra with his free hand, exposing your budding nipples to the cold air.

Joe leans forward, flicking his tongue against your nipple, and ghosting wet kisses between your breasts. You move back instinctively when he nips at your skin, but he pulls you aggressively back, hungry to feel you in his mouth again. "Feels so good, baby." Expletives are rolling off your tongue as he sucks harder on your nipples. Your hands find the back of his head, your fingernails raking against his scalps as he moves down to your stomach, pressing a kiss right above your belly button as you lean against the steering wheel.

He pulls out of you, your wetness glistening on his fingers. Without hesitation, you take both of his fingers into your mouth, pressing them against your tongue. "You look so fuckin' beautiful like this", he grunts out, his mouth slightly agape as he watches you. Instead of your usual bashfulness at his dirty talk, you hold eye contact with him, your eyelids heavy with lust as you lick him clean, popping his index finger against your lips as you pull them out.

"Fuck, lift your hips." He instructs, racing against his internal clock, like he'll cum in his pants if he doesn't have you now. You do as he says, cupping your chest as he fumbles for the discarded condom, finding it in the cupholder. He unbuckles his belt and pushes his jeans and boxers down to his knees, his pink cock springing free and resting against his lower stomach. You salivate at the engorged vein that travels from the base of his cock to the tip, which is leaking pre-cum.

"Hurry up!" You playfully push him, turning to look over your shoulder for any tow trucks or stray cars, but its obvious the two of you are alone out here. He rips the foil wrapper with his teeth, and removes the condom, rolling it down his length. He wraps his hands around the base of his cock as you slowly sink down on him, taking him inch by inch until you bottom out with a loud moan. "Oh, fuck."

He pulls at the manual recline handle and goes flying back, landing against the backseat with a thud, hitting the back of his head against the headrest. "I fuckin' hate this car", he mumbles, quickly forgetting about the ancient vehicle and his injury as you begin to bounce on his dick, the sound of your ass slapping against his thighs audible, quickly drowned out by the squelching of your wetness as he slips in and out of you.

Joe can't focus on anything but how good you feel and how good you look on top of him, your silhouette illuminated in the moonlight, his hands grazing against the curve of your waist and hips. You feel your legs start to fatigue so you lean forward, resting your hands on his chest, feeling the contours of his muscles underneath your palms.

He takes the opportunity to worship your body as you ride him, placing kisses on your arms and chest while you're too blissed out to even notice. "So fuckin good, baby. You're doin' so fuckin' good", he praises you over and over, which has you hurdling toward your orgasm, feeling the coil tighten in your core.

"Joe", you whimper out, your pace slowing as you tire. "I've got you", he remarks, sliding his hands underneath your thighs to hold you up while he snaps his hips into you, making you take him to the hilt each time. He strokes your g-spot in perfect succession each time and you're sure you won't last much longer. "I'm-I'm gonna cum." You bite out, your words vibrating through your bouncing chest, your nails digging into his pecs, leaving red marks. He increases his pace, hitting against your cervix, the car squeaking and shaking side to side as you come undone, your release washing over you with waves of pleasure.

Joe's right behind you, his face scrunched tight as he feels every muscle in his body contract, "Fuck, I'm gonna cum", he warns just in time, and you pepper kisses against his jawline as his hips stutter. You try to kiss him, but he can only draw in sharp breaths as he releases into you, residual muscle pulses from your orgasm milking him for every drop.

Completely spent, he draped an arm around your back, pulling your weight down on his body. Your chests heave in succession as you come down from your high and try to catch your breath. You lazily kiss his cheek with a smile. "Fuck, that was-"

"I love you." You both were silent, the declaration hanging in the air. Joe was shocked at the words as if they didn't come out of his own mouth. You lifted your head to look at him, your hands still clamped around his face. "What did you say?"

"What?" Joe responded, in immediate denial. He tried to look away, but you turned his head back to you. You heard your phone vibrating in the passenger seat but you ignored it, unable to take your eyes off of him. His face was soft, genuine, his eyes very telling. He meant what he said.

Your phone vibrated for a second time. "Its probably the tow truck. You should get that." Joe was desperate for a reprieve. "Yeah." You shook your head and climbed off his lap, grabbing your phone to answer it. "Hello? Yes, we're around mile marker 152. Okay." You hurriedly put your clothes back on, Joe watching you through the rear view mirror the entire time. He could physically see you trying to process what had just happened, and he honestly wished he'd never said anything. He wasn't sure if he loved you, he was too lost in the moment, thinking with his dick instead of his head.

"They'll be here in five." Your words jogged Joe out of his trance. He nodded and got out of the car, desperate for air. You needed to talk about what happened, but right now, you just wanted to focus on getting your car towed and getting to the nearest hotel so you could get some sleep.

The ride in the tow truck was uncomfortably quiet. You rested your head against the window, your arms crossed over your chest to create as much distance between the two of you as possible, desperate to close your eyes even for a few minutes. Joe glanced over at you multiple times in the short five mile ride to the hotel. He raked a hand through his messy hair, moving to stroke his jawline, the guilt of catching you off guard and professing his love for you in the heat of the moment, gnawing at him.

The hotel was very basic, no amenities and didn't even a continental breakfast, and wasn't really up to Joe's standards, but it was the only one in town, so he'd settle for it just for the night. He stood in the lobby and watched you as you checked in, making light conversation with the desk attendant.

Maybe if he just denied it, or avoided talking about it, you two could move past this, and it could all be a bad memory.

He felt a lump build in his throat as you walked toward him. Seeing the distress on your face, he knew there was no way you were getting over this anytime soon. "Look, Y/N-"

Your face was stoic as you threw your bag over your shoulder. You shoved a key card in his direction without a word. "Goodnight, Joe." He watched you walk away, flipping the key card in his hand.

What the hell had he just done?

Tag-List:

@wonderlandiswhereitsatyo

@bernelflo

@wickedfun9

@brrbrina

@zobellagio

@tallrock35

[somethingclevermahogony]

WIP Announcement (and re-re introduction)

Hello everybody! I've been busy for a while and I haven't been able to respond to a lot of the tag games and asks that I've recieved, but now finally I am done (for now) and I can get back to responding to y'all and posting about my WIP!

(Left) My MC'S Narul and Ninma courtesy of @faeporcelain and (right) Narul courtesy of @veggiebr0th !

For those of you who haven't seen me before, Hello! You can call me C. I am currently working on a series of fantasy novels, The Testaments of the Green Sea. The story follows the journey of the giant Narul and the princess Ninma as they travel the lands of Kishetal. Along the way they encounter spirits, monsters, demons, magic, war, gods, pirates, and slavers.

The setting and story is based around the mythologies and cultures of the Bronze age, no knights here sorry to say.

Genre: Epic Fantasy

Themes and Tropes (Or more accurately a random assortment of words vaguely related to the plot): Found Family, immortality, loss, love, war, power, memory, magic, insanity, political shenanigans, The passage of time, growing up, queerness in the ancient world, violence, spirits, fantasy outside of medieval europe

I finished the second draft of the first book (and started book 2) and I thought that I was happy with it, but lately I've been thinking more about a lot of the characters that I've included and the stories that I want to tell and I have realized that even with 208,000 words, I wasn't able to fully capture everything that I wanted to. And so I have decided to give myself more work and to split my first book into three separate books which will let me give all of the characters and stories the attention they need without overcrowding.

And I have finally come up with titles! The series overall is called The Testaments of the Green Sea and the three new books are as follows:

The Giant and The Princess

The Pirate and The Poet

The Hammer and the Spear

Some things you can expect in the next few days:

An absolute deluge of tag game responses and ask answers, I have a lot of catching up to do ( @illarian-rambling , @mk-writes-stuff , @elizaellwrites , @elsie-writes , @willtheweaver , @phoenixradiant , @agirlandherquill , @the-ellia-west , and anyone else that I might have missed)

I will finally be posting the intro to my OC, Zatar (I'm including a drawing of him down below), and will be posting a poll or two about other characters that y'all want to be introduced to you.

I might do a poll about a poll, to see what sort of thing y'all would be interested in seeing

I will be posting a recipe for a cheesecake recipe from my world, this is a way to celebrate 200 followers (thank y'all so much btw!)

I'm excited to show y'all some new things about my WIP and to introduce you all to my OCs and world! Also, I don't think I've ever actually made an official taglist. If y'all are interested in being in a taglist for this project, send me a message or comment on this post!

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

“no one owes you anything” correct. if you don’t write for readers or socialization through interests, do not ask for recognizance and reblogs. we don’t owe you that. if writing is purely to indulge yourself in fandom & for your fixations, you don’t ask for a fucking thing. do not expect notoriety and admiration for this anymore. if you can’t complete something you’ve committed to already to a multitude of people, don’t do it? don’t say you will with schedules and promises just to fall short? you cannot demand every reader and follower to comment on your eloquent authoring, reblogging every thing you write when it’s your interest, and interacting with you. not when you don’t respect the people who have given you a platform and the opportunity to spout ignorance. you can be multifandom, you can stop writing when you don’t want to, you can no longer take requests if it’s just for your passion and fandom fixation. don’t expect more than what you give. deleting fics out of embarrassment, unfinished work, ignored comments and asks, and a shitty dash is all a choice you can make. maybe ask for critique and commentary AFTER you COMPLETE something and not with a bunch of unfinished work and not fall short on promises. AFTER you have respectful conversations. we’re done lol.

I can feel the pettiness coming off this omg. I can smell the "I have never written a fic in my whole life" energy.

I don't have the energy to respond to each point individually, but like - omg.

Someone's a little cranky that I haven't announced the date for the final chapter of Careful even though it's finished in my drafts.

And I wanna move on to other creative pursuits for a minute (to get some creative satisfaction after all of the demanding, entitled attitudes over that fic) before posting it so that I don't have to be bombarded with comments about how people are upset that the series is over - cause I will be fucking glad that it's over.

Also the people who have given me a "platform to spout ignorance?" This blog has less than half the followers of my writing blog, so if people don't wanna see my actual personality or don't wanna see me rightfully point out the unfair treatment of authors from the demanding tiktok brainwashed masses, then they don't have to listen to me or follow me here in order to read my personal posts. They can just follow my other blog for fanfiction posts only.

And last point - I have never deleted fics out of embarrassment. I deleted my blog to escape harassment like this and untintionally deleted unsaved fics along with it. All of the fics that I have put hard work into - even ones that I am not incredibly proud of anymore that might not represent my current style and skill level - are on AO3. (Like what fic are you even upset about? One of those random 200 word blurbs that I wrote half asleep that I don't even consider to be a fic - just a spouting of my ideas?)

Anyway, the more comments like this I get, the longer I am just tempted to hold onto the last chapter of Careful and wait to post it - months from now, years from now. Idk. Who knows. I'll just give what I get 💖💕

[cowboysandpilots]

For the Love of Hockey— Ch. 1

Disclaimer: I love hockey, and I love watching it, but I have absolutely no idea of the inner workings of the NHL, what it's like to play on a team or the rules and regulations of any hockey association. Please take everything I write in this fic with a grain of salt, as I've taken a lot of creative liberties to make the story work out as I want and have planned.

A/N- Hi, I'm so happy you're here. :) If you would like to support me and my writing, please remember to hit the reblog button, as Tumblr has no algorithm and likes (while appreciated) do nothing to get creators work seen. If you would like to support me further, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi. If you're curious about where your support would go, I'm currently at $80/$200 for my monthly groceries, so any support would go towards that. :)

Amazing hockey text divider was made by: @writercole ❤️ (If you have your Tumblr palette set on goth rave, it may be a little hard to see)

Bradley Bradshaw is a legacy player. His dad played hockey, both his uncles played hockey, and if he had any brothers, he's sure that they would've played too. It's not that he doesn't love the game; he does; it's just that he's under so much pressure, and he can never seem to live up to it. He plays it safe; he doesn't rush the puck or take illegal hits. He has a clean record with zero minutes in the penalty box, and he's very proud of that.

He may not be the best player, but he's got the best sportsmanship, and no matter what fans or reporters say, no one can take that away Until Hangman comes along. The man gets under his skin like no other. He's a cocky rookie, first year in the NHL and the talk of the town. He has no respect for the older players and no problems breaking the rules. He has more penalty minutes than any other rookie in the league, and somehow, people love him for it.

The first time that Bradley sees Jake's smug grin, it's on the TV. He doesn't know the kid, has never played against him, but the way he's boasting about the team he got drafted to and the way he's answering every reporter's questions like he's god's gift to hockey, has Bradley's blood boiling. He clicks off the TV and chucks his remote to the other side of his couch; he should go to bed; he's got training in the morning anyway.

Despite his best efforts, Bradley can't get to sleep. He gravitates toward his phone, which is what always happens, even though the blue light makes his tired eyes burn. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew that the internet would be full of praise, love and ridiculous fawning for the rookie whose teammates had dubbed 'Hangman; he still opens Twitter and scrolls through his feed. It's like he can't help it, and why he chose to focus on this asshole instead of sleep, he'll never know.

The morning practice, surprisingly, isn't hell, even though Bradley barely slept and has to listen to his teammates go on and on about Hangman.

"What do you think about the new guy, Roo?" Mickey asks once they're off the ice and all crowded in the locker room.

"Don't think about him at all," Bradley answers coolly, passing him to get to the showers;— That's a lie. He spent last night scowling at his phone. He had to stop doing that; he needed to focus on this year's season and helping his team make it to the Stanley Cup. What kind of captain would he be if he let some cocky rookie get to him? It wasn't even guaranteed that the two teams would play against each other.

As Bradley's terrible luck would have it, the media coverage and general hysteria about Jake "Hangman" Seresin only got worse. The kid could apparently do no wrong, which only made his insufferable ego so much bigger. It gets to the point where Bradley doesn't even watch TSN anymore because Jake's smugness is practically dripping through his flatscreen; it makes his skin burn.

By some sort of miracle, Bradley has three days of blissful silence. Well, silence from hearing about Hangman anyway. Three days off to travel and get settled into a new city for another away game where he bonds with his team, doesn't watch the news, and spends most of his time on the ice. It's amazing. It's the most calm Bradley has felt in his life.

Much to the dismay of their coach, part of the team's bonding consists of going out to drink. Bradley, as captain, makes the case to Iceman, their coach, who got and kept that nickname when he, himself, played in the NHL.

"C'mon Ice, it's called team building!" Bradley grins. It was true that the team was a lot looser and in better spirits after a night out as long as they kept themselves in check and made sure the hangovers wouldn't be too bad.

Ice couldn't help but sigh and shake his head. He knew all too well what a team could get up to on a night out. It's not that he didn't trust Bradley; he did. It was hard to say no to the kid, and it didn't help that he was his uncle. Or really, his Godfather but Bradley's been calling him uncle since he was a kid, of course not anymore, now it's 'Ice' or 'Coach' and sometimes when he's in trouble, it's 'Sir'. He guesses that's how none of the other players know, he's sure that they would give Bradley a hard time if they knew so it was always an unspoken rule that neither of them would say anything.

"You'll look after them, won't you? Make sure that no one gets too drunk and nothing happens to your team?" Ice always calls the team Bradley's team, always emphasizes it when he's talking about being a role model. That's what the captain's for for everyone else to look up to, but Bradley had to admit that it was a little draining. Sometimes, he wanted to let loose like the rest of them.

Bradley nods. As always, he'll make sure that nothing gets broken, bones or otherwise, and no one gets arrested. "I'll make sure." He nods dutifully.

The day goes by in a blur after that, and when he gets back to his hotel room, Bradley takes a much-needed shower. He almost collapses into his bed with just the damp towel around his hips, but not before there's a knock on his hotel door. He pulls on his briefs, a nice pair of jeans and runs his fingers through his curls before he walks up to the door and pulls it open. The person who is standing on the other side is not to he expects.

"Hey, Bob." He offers easily.

The man makes no attempt to hide the fact that he's looking Bradley up and down but not in the way of checking him out, more like the way he's judging Bradley, buttoning up his Hawaiian shirt. "Are you wearing that to the bar?"

"I was planning on it. Why, what's wrong with it?"

"Nothing, just... you want to meet girls, right?" Bob gives a small and teasing smile. He has a way of making jokes that are just on the edge of mean but somehow never make Bradley angry.

"Ha-ha," He huffs sarcastically. "I can't be a designated driver if I leave with a girl, now can I?" Bradley has to admit that he would like to meet someone, but it wasn't really on the top of his priority list.

The bar is much too loud and crowded for a sober Bradley. The sound of the bass buzzes behind his eyes, and it makes him want to slip his sunglasses on, but there are only two types of people who wear sunglasses inside, blind people and douchebags. Bradley was neither.

He was making his way back to the bar for a second round at his teammate's request when he was knocked into. He doesn't exactly know what happened, but he knows he wasn't carrying a drink, so why is his shirt all wet? "Fuck." He grunts, looking down to assess the damage.

"What the hell, man? You know you owe me a drink." The voice is accusatory, like the entire thing was Bradley's fault and not the guy whose words are slurring enough; he probably didn't need that drink anyway.

Bradley looks up, lips parted, ready to tell the asshole off, except he recognizes that asshole; it's the same one who's been lighting up his TV screen and making him roll his eyes so much he's surprised they're not stuck. Jake Seresin.

A/N- Thanks so much for reading! Right now, this fic is looking like it's gonna have at least 10 chapters, and because I'm a crazy person, I've already started outlining a sequel. Lol until next time, friends. 💕

Tagging people who said they were interested: @cryinginthebronco @jojobeaner @rigmarole-07 @agent-elle @nerdygirl1234 @milobyelo @callsign-crow @itshoneywhatever @flowersonmymind1016 @seresinning @bloodanddiamonds

[mindmeltonabun-blog]

My Demon: Theories and Analysis for Eps 1-6

Hi Readers!

Let me start this post by saying what I originally wrote was just deleted after I hit the "save draft" button on Tumblr. I'm so pissed because I had spent hours working on this post!! For those who have followed my blog for a very long time, you know I usually provide a very in-depth analysis of dramas. 

Given what just happened and time constraints, I will keep this post very short. I may make mini posts next week to further elaborate on some points discussed here, but it just depends on if I have the time.

If you have any questions, please feel free to hit the "ask me anything" button and I will try my best to answer them promptly. I hope "My Demon" fandom won't be as toxic as the "Alchemy of Souls" fandom and misuse the "ask me anything" button to send me death threats or insults. If you don't like what I write, you can simply scroll along. The end. Also, don't plagiarize my shit. This was a huge issue during AOS and I really didn't appreciate it at all. If you want to use my ideas, give me credit for them.

Ok, let’s put on our thinking caps. Time to analyze and theorize!

Demons

In the context of this show, “demons” are individuals who used to be human but are now forced to fulfill human wishes in order to keep on living forever. The terms are simple: humans get their deepest desires fulfilled but will die in 10 years and go to hell. For demons, as long as they sign new contracts and collect souls, they won’t combust and be wiped from existence. It remains unknown how often demons must sign contracts/collect souls before they start to combust. Before demons were loan sharks, they were guardians of humans. 

We start this drama with Jeong Gu Won, who has lived happily for the last 200 yrs as a demon. Gu Won has no recollection of his human life. We don’t know if this aspect of Gu Won is something present in all demons or just him. Gu Won’s perfect little world is turned upside down after he saves Do Do Hee from Rash Dude aka Jeffrey Dahmer. Now, we don’t know why his tattoo was transferred to Do Hee but it’s implied the full moon and water had something to do with it. If you have read other posts of mine, you will know that when there’s a full moon it usually means a transformation and a new start. The whole falling into the water could be viewed as a sort of baptism, symbolizing the end of an old life and the beginning of a new life. I feel like before this show ends, Gu Won and Do Hee will end up in the water under the full moon again to symbolize Gu Won’s full transformation into a human. Like right now he’s like a quasi-demon haha. His transformation into a full human is currently ongoing. I think that as he starts to develop more human emotions/remember his human memories, his powers as a demon will begin to decline. 

Gu Won’s Past Life…A Story of Crime and Punishment

One thing I’ve learned from analyzing many dramas over the years is when a writer shows us a book or mentions a movie, we should look into them if we want a glimpse into what will happen in a drama. Now in Ep 1, you see #2 Wild Dog reading, “Crime and Punishment” by Fyodor Dostoevsky which was hilarious because he didn’t strike me as the type to read such a dense piece of literature. Seeing this book took me back to my high school days when we had to read and analyze this book. For those who don’t know, Russian works tend to be very long and are usually about suffering haha.

For the sake of time, I’ll you a very brief overview of what happened in “Crime and Punishment”. The story begins with a law student, Rodion Raskolnikov, who quits school because he can’t afford it anymore. The guy then has a mental breakdown of sorts and decides to kill the elderly owner of the pawnshop and her half-sister. He justifies his actions by rationalizing that by killing the pawnshop owner, he could take the valuables within her pawn shop and use them to fund his education which would eventually earn him a well-paying job. In turn, he would use the money earned to benefit the greater good. 

Raskolnikov saw himself as an Ubermensch (if you don’t know that means, I had briefly talked about it in my DAYS posts). He believed that since he was above everyone else, he was allowed to cross all societal, ethical, and moral lines because his success would help the greatest amount of people. The rest of the novel is about Raskolnikov’s internal struggles with what he did. He goes back and forth between confessing or not confessing to the murders. Eventually, the love interest in the story, Sonia, a devout Christian and source of morality for Raskolnikov, convinces him to turn himself in and confess. Raskolnikov ends up only having to serve a total of 8 years in a labor camp for the murders. While there, he finally realizes the errors of his ways and feels guilt for his past actions. He then was like “Sonia’s love saved me and I feel bad for making her suffer so when I get out, I’m going to repay her with infinite love for all she has done for me”. And bam! That’s where the story ends…with the start of his journey toward redemption haha. 

Gu Won is Raskolnikov in the sense that he thinks he’s better than everyone else and can therefore cross any line he so chooses. Based on a flashback in Ep 6, it seemed Gu Won had this kind of mindset even before he became a demon. So, what crime did Gu Won commit that landed him in Hell in the first place? I wouldn’t label it so much as an actual crime like murder but Gu Won probably got Do Hee’s past self killed. The guilt he felt after her death is probably what led to him become essentially trapped in a mental Hell, much like Madam Ju. Eventually, this guilt prevented him from entering heaven after he died. God/Lady probably took pity on him and offered him salvation in the form of becoming a demon; alternatively, it could be that God/Lady offered him a "sweet" contract where he could work as a demon in exchange for a second chance and a happier life with Do Hee in the future. Regardless of whatever the case may be, the important thing is that Gu Won needs to remember what happened in his past so he can seek forgiveness from Do Hee in the present and start his path toward redemption much like Raskolnikov. The truth sets you free haha. Gu Won is taking a step in the right direction though by protecting Do Hee. He could be like Raskolnikov and choose to give Do Hee infinite love for the rest of his life to make up for the horrible things he did to her in the past haha. Oh, one more thing for this section, the tattoo being on Do Hee’s wrist could symbolize that she was the reason why he became a demon in the first place. 

Murders of Do Hee’s Parents and Madam Ju/Who Is Abraxas

In my original post, this section was long, but as I previously mentioned, the stuff I wrote was deleted. I’m just going to give you the overall gist of it. I still think the person who killed Madam Ju was Ju Seok Hun and that the person who killed Do Hee’s parents was Madam Ju’s little brother/Seok Hun’s father. I don’t think Madam Ju directly killed Do Hee’s parents, but she felt guilty for their deaths because she covered up the incident to protect her little brother. After which, she cut him off and exiled him to Peru to live a hippie life haha. This is completely speculative though. Like we have two choices for who murdered Do Hee’s parents and Madam Ju. Choice #1 is Noh Suk Min and Noh Do Gyeong and Choice #2 Seok Hun’s father and Seok Hun. One argument I made for choice #2 is that if Suk Min and Do Gyeong were the real killers, wouldn’t the actor who played Do Gyeong be a main lead instead of a supporting character? Another argument was that Seok Hun has too many conflicting qualities about him. For example, he is a hippie who works in the corporate world and despite portraying a goody-two-shoes image, he suggests Do Hee should engage in some ethically questionable business practices like letting Mirae Investments buy shares of Mirae F&B to offset the losses. 

It’s also important to remember what Do Hee said about “sweet” things and how they’re always fake (except for Gu Won haha). Seok Hun is faker than acrylic nails. He puts on an act that he cares about her well-being when in reality, he hopes she dies. He must continue with this nice guy act because he doesn’t want her death to lead back to him. Just think about some things for a moment, if Do Hee died, who would the police suspect killed her? Would it be the people who openly voiced their disdain for her or the person whom she had a loving relationship with? It would be the former. The scene with Do Gyeong at the lockers is essentially Seok Hun setting him up to take the fall for Do Hee’s murder. At the end of the day, human greed is what drove Seok Hun to do what he did. Who knows, maybe his greed stems from being subjected to a frugal lifestyle while growing up. 

Crosses, Numerology, and Tarot

Amen, we are nearing the end. Ok, let’s keep going at record speed. So, crosses and Catholicism/Christianity are heavily present in this show. The same goes for numbers and tarot. They’re all connected. Some religious crosses can look like an “X” which looks like the Roman numeral 10. The number 10 is everywhere in this show. For example, the little girl was celebrating her 10th birthday and the Wheel of Fortune is the 10th tarot card in the Rider Waite Tarot Deck. Connecting numerology with tarot, the wheel of fortune represents the end of one journey and the beginning of another…1 + 0 = 1, where 1 symbolizes completion.

The clock in the promotional poster has a hand pointing at 10, which is different than the clocks seen at Gu Won’s place that only go from 0-9. While we are on the subject of 9, “Gu” means nine. Every time Gu Won started a new life, he named himself the next number following his current one. For example, he was Il (1) Won, then I (2) Won, and so forth. Now in his 9th life, he is called Gu Won. Get it? Ok, cool. What comes after 9? 10. After Gu Won completes his transformation into a human, he will be called Sip (10) Won haha. Additionally, did anyone notice the number 91 on the cake Do Hee baked for him? What’s 9+1? 10. 

Pay attention to the numbers in this show people! Always ask yourself what each number means and what it's connected to haha. When God/the Lady said, "I’m betting on all the odd numbers", many were like what does that mean? She’s referring to the numbers on tarot cards (Rider Waite Deck), which represent Gu Won and Do Hee. For example, which cards represent them? For starters, the 15th card aka the devil. 1+5=6 which is the lovers card. Another odd-numbered tarot card that is representative of Do Hee and Gu Won is the 9th card which is “The Hermit” because let’s be real here, they both were hermits before they met each other. The last major arcana tarot card in the deck is #21…THE WORLD aka GUARANTEED SUCCESS. So this is what God/Lady meant when she said she’s betting on all the odd numbers. It’s the writer’s way of telling us we are going to get a happy ending after all the chaos that will occur. 

One more intriguing number is 17. If you sniff around, you’ll notice that 17 is the number of years that have passed since Do Hee’s parents died. 17 is also the number of the coin locker where Jeffrey and Seok Hun exchange stuff. Hilariously, Gu Won’s passcode to his safe is “666”, which is the number of the beast/devil haha. In the newspaper clipping about the Sunwol Foundation, it said the theater was completed on June 7, 1977 and Gu Won’s name during that time was Chil (7) Won haha. The number 7 is seen as lucky in Korean and many Western cultures. 

MISC

The cross necklace Gu Won wears probably belonged to Do Hee’s past self or was given to Gu Won by Do Hee…..OH I just made another connection…..In “Crime and Punishment”, Sonia gave Raskolnikov a cross necklace. Also, in Crime and Punishment, Sonia was a prostitute and Do Hee was essentially one during the Joseon dynasty…. Kisaeng and prostitutes are basically the same thing haha. It’s also interesting that both Gu Won and Do Hee wear two necklaces, one silver and one gold. I wonder if there’s any meaning behind that.

In the newspaper clipping about Sunwol Foundation, the term 'Sun/Seon' is written in hanja and translates to 'to return/come back.' This element was part of Gu Won's original name, Yi Sun/Seon. Additionally, 'wol' means moon. Therefore, I interpreted 'Sunwol' to mean 'Sun and Moon' or 'Moon That Returns.' In a broader sense, Sunwol can be likened to the Taj Mahal—a building or monument constructed in memory of a beloved. One could also view Sunwol as a place that narrates the love story of the Sun (Gu Won) and the Moon (Do Hee) or as a place built with the hope that Gu Won’s beloved moon would return one day.

Ok, folks, that concludes this very brief TA post. WOOHOO! Sorry if there were any grammatical mistakes or typos, and if this post seemed a bit disorganized. I really have to get to bed and didn't have time to edit this haha. See you all next week maybe!

[thebigsl33p]

Hello. I was wondering if you could do a Morpheus x F!Reader where Morpheus and reader are not in a relationship but have some chemistry going and then somehow, the reader ends up in Desire's realm where Desire basically kidnaps her once they found out about the readers "relationship" with Morpheus? I hope this makes sense. I just really want a Morpheus vs Desire over the reader

I'm very excited to write this!!! This sounds like something out of my 3 AM specialised playlist imagining sessions and I am loving it!! Desire Vs Morpheus showdown it is!! I kinda just started to write so sorry if this isn't what you wanted. I'm also sorry this took so long, i's been sitting in my drafts being edited for ages

TW: violence and mild mentions of Gore but if you watched The Sandman you should be good.

Desire had always been friendly to Y/N, Eleos, the Goddess of Kindness, mercy, clemency, compassion, and pity. And being the kind woman she was she never read much into the friendly flirtations that Desire offered back.

But she was aware of other things, such as how a certain Endless' jaw would clench whenever he saw her and his sibling together, walking through the fields that he had carefully crafted for her and himself.

Dream and Y/N had been friends for an eternity, and often they visited each other's realms. Eleos would bring compassion and an overwhelming bout of happiness to Morpheus' realm, and Morpheus would bring sweet dreams to the citizens of Eleos' realm. Often their people visited the opposing realm, and each creation got along well, reflecting the good tidings they felt for each other.

Eleos had been beside Dream for a long time, outlasting any of his relationships (which she sometimes teased him about when the mood was right). She was there when Dream was captured and felt his absence more than anyone else, but she held her head high nonetheless. She was the only person Dream would ever consider calling a friend, and when he returned to The Dreaming after 200 years, she was there with open arms and kind words. She helped him rebuild his realm and bring back his citizens and the wayward nightmares.

There were other things in the time that he had returned, a vortex causing significant damage to The Dreaming which was swiftly dealt with. But upon the revelation that this was all part of a plan,one concocted by Desire and Despair, Dream paid his younger sibling a visit.

Since then things had been fraught between the two Endless.

And unbeknownst to her, Y/N stood right in the middle of it.

That's why it came as a surprise to her when she woke up, in a realm that was unmistakably Desire's.

Everything was red. A colour of red that constantly shifted, never the same, swirling from bright red to deep dark blood maroon. She noticed quickly that she was in a room with a fire burning in the middle of it and an uncomfortable, plasticky-looking Chaise Lounge to the side. There were leather straps wrapped around her ankles and wrists, holding her to a metal bar, suspending her slightly off the ground, and causing her arms great pain which was slowly spreading to the rest of her body.

The Goddess whimpered slightly, her arms burning. The noise caught the attention of the realm, and more importantly the realm's ruler.

The moment she let out the noise the energy of the realm changed, becoming hostile and off-putting.

And then there were footsteps, the clicking of high heels with close-to-impossible stiletto heels.

She felt Desire's presence before she saw them, this overwhelming encompassing feeling of want for anything and everything. And then they were in front of her and the feeling subsided.

"Desire," her mouth felt dry, the words hard to get out as she felt her lips crack, "How long have I been here for? Why am I here? What-"

"Hush, sweetheart." Desire grinned, "Don't you worry about a thing…"

She turned her head away from Desire as they reached out a hand to stroke her hair, "Desire." It was a warning, a demand, her words held as much power as she could muster in someone else's realm, "Let me go." She pulled slightly against her restraints.

Desire started giggling, "Let you go? No, no, no, darling, it's too soon for that! I haven't gotten my revenge yet." They twirled her hair around their finger.

Fear filled her veins. A Goddess stood no chance against an Endless, "Desire, please let me go…please. Whatever I've done- whatever I owe you-"

Desire gripped her jaw, pointed fingernails digging into her skin and making her grit her teeth together, "This isn't about you." They hissed, dropping the playful facade, "This is about my brother. I want to see him suffer, want to see him mourn and cry and beg." They grinned.

Desire took a step back but didn't release her face until a beat later before they turned around and faced the fire. They bent down, their fishnets stretching over their perfect skin, and reached into the fire in the centre of the room. Their hand disappeared into the flames and re-emerged holding a leather parcel. There were the remains of string tied around it which burned away in the fire.

She watched as Desire held it above their head and brushed it off of any ash from the leather outside. There was a buckle on the front which they undid, then held it high and let the leather unroll to reveal rows upon rows of sharp glistening knives that held the cosmos on the edge of their blades which instantly reminded her of Morpheus.

She bent her head down and began to speak as Desire ran their fingers over the knives, words of dreams and nightmares and ancient powers.

"He can't reach you here." Desire said, "Not unless I let him in."

"Well, he's got to be here if you want to see him beg and…grieve."

"You hold a very good point." Desire waved a hand and something changed again before they took a knife out of the holder, "Shall we start? Make sure he can hear you screaming and begging?"

-

By the time Desire is done there is no mistaking that Morpheus heard her, but Y/N's also sure half her skin must be hanging off. Desire held nothing back, and with their realm heightening her every sense each blade against her skin was pure agony and despair.

Finally, when Desire is done, knives and various other tools are scattered around Y/N's feet, they grin, "My brother is so very selfish." They pout playfully, "He has everything in life handed to him on a silver platter, and he's always been a little bit too much like Destiny. His moral compass is just overwhelmingly straight!" They're dramatic when they speak, "Until it isn't. And when Morpheus makes a mistake it's so easily overlooked, when he condemns past lovers to hell and is the reason for his son's death and misery, it's all fine! But try being me and try having a little fun? Well…you can't get anywhere in life."

They sigh, seductively laying back on the plastic chaise lounge, "So I decided, why not take from him what he values most." They shrug, "Show him what it really feels like to lose."

There's blood filling Y/N's mouth as she speaks, "I don't know that he'll care that much for me." She nearly laughs.

"What?" Desire grins, "You think I didn't think about The Dreaming? About sweet Lucienne and Merv and Cain and Abel and even Corinthian, when he was still around. I thought about the entire realm! Even its very substance, about tearing it apart from the inside until he begged for mercy but I knew…" They shook their head, "Oh, I knew he'd give it all up for you within seconds." They snapped their fingers.

"So what? You want Morpheus' realm?" Each word was agony but she needed to know Desire's motives, needed to figure out a way out of this.

Desire shrugged playfully, wiping blood off their fingers, "If that's what he happens to offer then so be it." And then they were gone with the faint echo of malicious laughter, leaving Y/N with nothing but Morpheus' name on her lips.

-

Y/N heard Morpheus before anything else, the sound of those heavy boots marching authoritatively down the red plasticky hallway. And then the feeling of static and electricity in the air, like the calm before a storm except…there was anger so ancient and so furious that it consumed everything around him and Y/N understood that in that moment, he held just as much power here as he did in The Dreaming.

When he arrived, Desire was lounging on that red chair, smiling leisurely in front of her, enjoying the degrading display of struggle.

Morpheus' voice echoed around the realm, a deep and relaxing tone to her ears but one that caused fear and worry in Desire. Not that they'd back down now.

"Brother," their tone was velveteen and relaxed, "We're just in here, why don't you come to join us? We were having a wonderful time discussing you."

The wall split open to reveal Dream, eyes holding nebulas and constellations and rage. His hands hovered by his side as he took three long strides into the room, laid eyes on Y/N's state, and then had Desire pinned to the wall by their neck, long fingers curling tightly around their throat.

"What is the meaning of this?" He was angry, a type of angry Eleos had never seen before, despite being his side for most of his existence. He hadn't even used this tone when he dealt with The Corinthian and he was fuming then.

So this? This must've been pure unfiltered rage and it hit her like a brick.

"Of what?" Desire, despite currently losing the fight, was acting dumb. Ignorant.

Dream's grip tightened, and Y/N saw Desire physically struggle for breath, not that they needed it. But something told her they'd gotten a little bit too comfortable.

So they corrected themselves, "I wanted to see how far you'd go for your little goddess there. How much you'd sacrifice in her name."

"You. This is it Desire, this is the end of any connection or familiarity that I may have with you. Any positive feelings I once felt towards you are gone, you are no longer my sibling and I am ashamed to once have even called you family."

Y/N knew that all Dream had ever wanted, deep down, even if he wouldn't admit it to himself, was a family to call his own. His siblings were, for a while, all he had ever known. And deep down he had always hoped to himself that they could return to how it used to be, before -everything-. That perhaps, just like Delirium and Death hoped, they could call themselves an actual family.

But now, with Desire's actions and words, there was no hope of that. Not even in Hell.

And so Morpheus' hand just got tighter and tighter and tighter around Desire's neck, until the younger Endless' started clawing at his hands for mercy.

But it was Y/N that stopped it, "Dream. Enough." Her words were weak and quiet but he heard them.

Instantly he dropped Desire, leaving them to lick their wounds in a crumpled heap on the floor, and rushed to her, hands clumsily and hurriedly trying to undo the leather straps, eyes taking in all the cuts and bruises.

"I'm sorry…" the words were whispered so Desire would never hear as he shook his head before turning to his pitiful sibling, "You disgust me."

And then The Goddess and The Endless were gone.

-

She had passed out the moment they arrived in The Dreaming from a mixture of exhaustion and blood loss that her immortal body did not let her succumb to. But she needed the rest.

And for the first time in what felt like years, she felt safe.

The next time she was awake she was lying in the softest bed she had ever felt. Y/N could feel the multitude of bandages that had been wrapped around her, and when she looked down she saw Lucienne sitting in a chair reading a book and her heart soared with relief.

She moved to sit up slightly and noticed she felt the best she had in days. The librarian jumped at the noise, shutting the book with a slam before seeing Y/N, "Our Lady of Kindness, you're awake!" She was shocked, jumping out of her chair to prop some pillows up behind her, "Can I get you anything? I should tell Lord Morpheus you're awake-"

"Luc," Y/N reached out an arm, "Calm down." She said slowly, "Drop the formalities. I'm okay." She reassured, letting the librarian catch her breath before continuing, "I would like to see Morpheus. If he's around."

"He's been worried about you for days." She nearly laughed but then shut her mouth as if she'd said something she shouldn't, "I shall retrieve him."

She was gone and back in a flash, a dark shadow following her upon her return. Morpheus.

The Goddess and The Endless stared at each other a minute as the librarian excused herself and then he dragged the chair to her bedside and took a seat. A beat. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Much better. Thank you." She looked at her hands in her lap, "I'm sorry you had to…do that."

"Desire did awful things to you. This is the last time they will get away with it as if their actions were trivial." There was a subsided anger in his tone and Y/N sighed.

"Thank you, Morpheus."

"You have nothing to thank me for."

"You-"

"I'd do anything for you in a heartbeat." The words came out fast and suddenly, "I'm just sorry I didn't get to you sooner. And…Desire putting you in that situation…it's stupid it took that for me to realise how I feel about you."

The last part made her eyebrows raise and her heart beat significantly faster, "Oh." She blinked a few times before taking his hands in hers and then she was pulling him forward, "I owe you so much Dream Lord." She smiled sadly before leaning in and kissing him.

For the first time in the rest of their existence.

[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: First Patrol (Remastered)

Batfam During Quarantine: First Patrol

Hey, quick heads up, this is a slightly reworked version of the second post I made for this series. My continuity on this series got really messed up for a bit and I have so many drafts that I still yet to publish so I'm going through all of my old stuff to fix the chronology of the stories and also put a bit more pressure on me to finish this series. Please keep in mind that my writing skills kinda improve throughout the series, so this is not my best but just somewhat reworked, and there is a good chance this will be reworked again in the future.

Dick: Unfortunately there was a homicide down in crime ally a few hours ago...

Jason: Ooooooh! What are we talking about? Was he shot, strangled, mangled, stabbed?

Dick: He was cut open and the killer dug around in his organs. Only the lungs were missing.

Jason: So mangled, got it! I will give you $50 for the case!

Dick: It’s not a bid, I’m going to assign the

Damian: $100 for the case!

Stephanie: $125!

Duke: $200!

Jason: $210 and I won’t use any fire arms!

Dick: Interesting, who thinks they can top that?

Tim: $225 and I’ll give you my secret stash of Keurig coffee cups!

Cassandra: $250 and I’ll let you take my mini fridge!

Jason: $350 and I would exchange my lethal rounds for rubber bullets and I won’t cause property damage or kill anyone!

Dick: SOLD!

Cassandra: DAMMIT!!!

Dick: Okay, so cases will be assigned as normal with the exception of Jason’s. Now because we’re in the middle of a strict city wide lock down crime has reached a low meaning some of you will have shorter nights on patrol. Each sector has been divided between all of us so make sure to stay in your sector. There’s been a little bit of activity caused by Scarecrow in sector 1, Babs I’m putting you in charge of putting a stop to it. Kate you have 2. There isn’t much going on there but there has been a reports that bags of heroine and cocaine are being left against some windows. It could be nothing but just take a look to see if anything is going on. Tim and Steph you have 5....

Tim: Woah, I thought we weren’t partnering up!

Dick: You’ll partner up for an hour, but mostly on calm nights you and Steph will patrol for 3 hours by yourselves. You’ll get half of the shift and Steph will get the other half. Anyway, Selina you have 3. Cass, 4. Harper, 8. There’s not much going on in those sectors but just patrol for a little bit. Duke, last night there were some gun shots heard in sector 9, go investigate. Jason you’re in sector 6. Julia and Alfred, you’re going to be here updating us on anything that happens. And Damian you’re going with me in sector 7.

Damian: Because you don’t trust me!

Dick: No, because you’re Robin. It would be weird for Batman not to be with Robin while you’re in Gotham.

Damian: Oh, yeah that makes sense.

Dick: We’ll be dealing with Two-Face. There’s been chatter that he’s going to make a move on the Falcone crime family. I’ll take sanitation duty tonight. Keep your radios on and contact someone if you needs help. Now, move out!

Batgirl

Batgirl: *she flies over the civilians in sector 1 in the bat-jet and sprays an antidote for the fear toxin until noticing Scarecrow, then drops down beside him and kicks his side*

Scarecrow: *falls to the side* Ah! Batgirl! *he gets up and tries to run away*

Batgirl: Oh no you don't! *chases after Scarecrow*

Scarecrow: *turns a corner and hides along the side*

Batgirl: *turns the corner too and is immediately stabbed in the arm with a syringe, she is then standing in her apartment and hears a knock at her door* No, no, no, no, no! *she then moves forward towards the door and places her hands on the door knob*

Scarecrow: Oh yes Batgirl! Not even you, let alone Batman, could stand this new batch that I made specially for you lot. *moves closer to Batgirl and kicks her side*

Batgirl: *she opens the door and is shot in the stomach, then falls to her side, she sees the Joker standing in the door frame, staring at her limp body, as he begins to start kicking her* Ouch!

Scarecrow: *he keeps kicking Batgirl as she is lying on her side in the street*

Batgirl: NO!!! *she tries to fight the feeling of paralysis, she begins to bring her knees to her chest*

Scarecrow: *he kicks her again and this time Batgirl rolls to her knees with the last kick* Stop fighting Batgirl. There is no use in doing so! *he moves closer and winds up for another kick*

Batgirl: *she rolls backward and gets back to her knees and sees the Joker shoot the floor of her apartment but the recoil makes him stumble a little bit, which allows her enough time to stand back up and she squares up*

Scarecrow: I anticipated this much resistance, but I know that you are still seeing the boogeyman that lives in your head. *he walks closer to Batgirl*

Batgirl: Rent fucking free. *she throws her punch but the Joker dodges it*

Scarecrow: You're slow.

Batgirl: *kicks in the direction that the Joker was standing in but he dodges*

Scarecrow: Weak. *he begins to reach forward to inject Batgirl with more fear toxin*

Batgirl: *grabs Jokers arms as he tries to grab her, but he pushes her against a wall*

Scarecrow: Stop resisting, you can't fight me and the toxin at the same time.

Batgirl: *continues to try and push his arms away, then kicks up at his balls*

Scarecrow: Ah! *he hunches over only to get kneed in the face which causes him to fall back* Fucking Bat-bitch!

Batgirl: *she reaches for her utility belt and reaches for the antidote, and stabs it into the inside of her thigh and leans against the wall*

Scarecrow: *he gets up and lunges over*

Batgirl: *dodges Joker and kicks him again, she reaches for a sleeping agent*

Scarecrow: *stands back up*

Batgirl: *stabs Joker with the sleeping agent and continues to punch and kick him until Joker falls to the floor unconscious, she looks around and notices that her soundings have changed, she then sits down for a minute and collects her thoughts* Batgirl to Bat-cave.

Julia: Go ahead.

Batgirl: Scarecrow is down.

Julia: Copy, go ahead and tie him up then survey the area and continue to help spread the antidote.

Batgirl: Got it.

Red Hood

Red Hood: *looks at the the crime scene and finds a pair of bloody latex gloves from behind a trash bin* Penny-two.

Julia: Yes, Red Hood?

Red Hood: I’m going to stop by to run some finger prints and a blood sample. 

Julia: Alright, I’ll set it up.

Red Hood: *he rushes over to his motorcycle and rides off to the Bat-cave*

Batwoman

Batwoman: *spots a girl in a sky blue hoodie and a dude in a yellow hoodie, and drops down into the alley as they place drugs against the windows*

Girl and Dude: *turn and look at Batwoman* Run! *they begin to run*

Batwoman: *She kicks the boy into the wall, grabs the girl by the shit and pins her against the opposite wall* Why are you doing this?

Girl: You know exactly why! Not all of us could run around the city playing dress up, taking down criminals and claim to protect this city! Some of us need this just to get by!

Batwoman: Where’s your boss?

Girl: Don’t have one. We make it ourselves.

Batwoman: *she grabs her grappling hook and fires at the top of the of the building and reels her up, then lifts the girl over the edge* Where’s your boss?

Girl: I’m telling you, we don’t have one!!! Don’t drop me, please!!!!

Batwoman: Who's we?

Girl: Me and my boyfriend!!!

Batwoman: Leave, take your drugs! If I see you or your boyfriend again I won’t hesitate to drop you from a rooftop! *they lower down to the ally*

Girl: *grabs her boyfriend and they run*

Batwoman: *she reaches for her utility belt and places the card of a local rehab center in between the windows, then continues to patrol the area to make sure there is no more drug activity*

Red Hood and Julia

Julia: The blood definitively belongs to the victim.

Red Hood: Run the prints then.

Julia: Already done. They belong to a man named Doug McGrath. He’s a crook arrested several times for drug trafficking, drug possession, and suspected for robbery but was not convicted. He is also has 3 accounts on a HENCH.

Red Hood So this could be the work of one of Bruce’s rogues.

Julia: Indeed.

Red Hood: Can you send me his location?

Julia: I’ll get on that now. Done, his coordinates

Red Hood: Got it, if you could, hack into his HENCH account and see what offers he has recently received. *he begins walking back to his motorcycle*

Julia: It’s insulting that you even asked.

The Signal

Signal: *he drops to the street and walks around where the shooting occurred and notices the two bullet holes in the buildings, but witnesses have said they heard three. He walks down the ally and searches for anything but can’t find the bullet, but finds blood on a few trash bags. He opens the backs and looks inside and finds a pair of lungs and a few other organs*

Thug: Hey kid!

Signal: *turns and runs towards the thug, throwing a few punches*

Thug: *pulls out a gun and shoots far over Signal's shoulder*

Signal: Nice shot, I heard the Empire is hiring. *he sweeps the thugs legs from underneath him* Maybe you should get a job as a Stormtrooper. *he throws a few more punches knocking the thug out. then examines the body and notices on his phone that there was a notification from HENCH*

Red Robin and Spoiler

Red Robin: I don’t get it! I could patrol the entire time and still help Bruce. It’s called never going to sleep.

Spoiler: You realize you're the only person I know that has ever made me worry about their health, right? Why can’t you be normal?

Red Robin: Ask my parents.

Spoiler: Dick.

Red Robin: No, I’m Tim. You’re getting your Robin’s mixed up.

Spoiler: HA!. Don’t you think you’re spending too much time with Nightwing if you’re making jokes like that?

Red Robin:  Eh, maybe.

Red Hood: Hey, Red Robin, I need you to patrol 6 for a bit. I’m following a lead. I got the okay from Batman.

Red Robin: Got it. *he then takes off, jumping from roof to roof off to the other side of the city*

Batman and Robin

Batman: Got it Red Hood. Robin, Red Hood is on his way.

Robin: I hate Red Hood!

Batman: You realize you’re quite a bit like him, right?

Robin: NO I’M......

Batman: SHHHH! We don’t want to attract too much attention.

Robin: I am nothing like Red Hood.

Batman: *looks out at the site and sees Bane and Two-Face then grabs Robin's head and turns it towards the direction of where the two are standing, then watch as a black SUV drives in and Carmine Falcone steps out*

Falcone: I see you brought your muscle. Where’s my drugs?

Two-Face: I have it where it should be. 

Falcone: I'm not playing games, Dent! Give me my drugs or there will be consequences.

Two-Face: Hit me with your best shot!

Batman: Signal, Spoiler, Red Robin I’m sending you the coordinates to our location. Somethings about to go down. Red Hood, where are you?

Red Hood: Not too far.

Batman: Everyone else stand by, in case this goes south.

Falcone: Release the beast.

Batman and Robin: *jump in between the few crooks and start throwing punches and kicks, when they hear a gun click from the behind them*

KGBeast: I've been waiting for a while to put down "The man who killed Batman" on my list. *aims right for Batman*

Robin: *turns and looks at KGBeast* You ASSHOLE!!!! *rushes towards KGBeast*

Batman: ROBIN! NO! 

Bane: *rushes towards Batman*

Batman: *attempts to evade Bane’s each strike, eventually diving towards Two-Face, knocking him down*

Bane: *punches towards the two*

Batman: *rolls out of the way, causing Bane to punch Two-Face in the head*

KGBeast: *fires towards Robin*

Robin: *dodges each bullet then jumps on KGBeast's back, he then reaches for a batarang and slashes at KGBeast's back*

KGBeast: *tries to get Damian off of his back*

Red Hood: *shows up and starts shooting at KGBeast*

Robin: *jumps off of KGBeast's back, throwing a few explosive batarangs at KGBeast's feet*

KGBeast: *flys back a few feet*

Robin: *rolls forward landing next to Red Hood* You could have shot me!

Red Hood: I would have enjoyed that! *lifts up his arm and shoots Falcone a few times*

Falcone: *falls to the floor*

Bane: *throws Batman into a wall*

Signal: *arrives and runs right for Bane* Red Hood, boost me!

Red Hood: *squats down and gets ready to launch Signal towards Bane*

Batman: *throws a few batarangs at Bane's face causing Bane to look away*

Signal: *throws an uppercut to Bane's face*

Batman: *runs up at Bane and punches him in the face*

Red Hood: *jumps on Bane's back and puts him in a choke hold, hanging from his neck*

Bane: *tries to swing Red Hood off but falls to the floor*

Dick: *huff* Anyone else feeling the aster? *huff*

Jason: AHG!!!! NO MORE WORDS FROM YOU!!

Dick: Come on.............

Jason: NO!

[cog5]

Room Service

Another month, another area of my mega-dungeon compiled. The Servant Halls are now part of The Electric Triptych of the Tetric Necromancer! 

Seeing the PDF page count hit triple digits last month was something else. The fact that it will reach 200+ pages in the next few months really puts things into perspective. This has been (and will be) a lot of work! Fortunately I’ve enjoyed the ride. Going back to the original drafts from 2023, spending time with the text and expanding on things to make connections, has really helped me to flesh out the layers in the adventure overall.

In this recent area, when I looked back on the draft, I was a bit worried that I’m not adding enough specific confrontation, that problems for the players were only implied, not overt. What’s to stop them from walking right past an encounter? That said, I’m often inclined to leave room for things that just “are”. Not everything needs to be a problem. Not everything needs to be encountered. Sometimes a space is just a space. Especially in something like a mega-dungeon, I think there’s room for that type of experience. 

The Service Halls are a bit of a breather in that regard. The Servitors in this area of the mega-dungeon are not inherently “bad”. Neither are the Ganglios Creatures they use as livestock (though they will eat you, if you get too close). Random events could potentially throw up some roadblocks, but it’s also just as likely the players could spend their time here resting, getting to know some of the NPCs, and exploring the setting. Probably for the best, given the adjoining areas (the Dungeon and the Monastery) are designed to be more lethal. 

I keep coming back to the balance of these concepts over and over, that there is somehow more “value” in conflict. But is there?

There’s the dungeon building philosophy of having “empty” rooms. As a matter of pacing, I think this is good advice. If every room is a fight, players may find it difficult to press on. Of course “empty” rooms are not actually empty, they may have a minor event, a clue, foreshadowing, or some other means of establishing the setting. In some ways, the entire area of the Servant Halls serves this purpose. 

This area is likely to be mid-game for most players running through the mega-dungeon, so it feels like the right time to throw in a bit more detail about the “end boss”. A lot of this area is about letting players know what kind of person the Tetric Necromancer is. Namely: A failed wizard who relied on grotesque shortcuts to serve the kingdom, and the harm he is capable of causing in the pursuit of his ambitions. 

The Servant Halls also help to expand on the backstory of the Undead Queen, a major plot point in the setting’s history, available if the players care to dig into it. The Undead Queen is sealed away in the Monastery, adjacent to the Servant Halls. So, at the very least, I felt a bit of foreshadowing was in order. I’ve not officially written any hooks for this adventure, but finding the fate of the Undead Queen is likely to be one of them.

I could see the players given quite a few opportunities to gain allies or tag-alongs in the Servant Halls as well. I’ve set up what I think are two strong possibilities. 

1. Delos, a time traveller who is looking for their partner, trapped deeper within the dungeon. 

2. Molly, a Servitor who is no longer under The Spire’s control, who is capable of assembling a small army of fellow Seritors. Molly also has a connection to another area higher in the Spire (the Laboratory), where more Servitors await. 

In both cases, there is a reunion waiting to happen. I thought that might be a nice payoff, instead of the usual reward of treasure. Again, nothing overtly mentioned, but I’m happy for the GM and players to unpack these connections through play.  

And yeah, time travel! I’ve wanted to write a proper time travel adventure for a long time, but find the mechanics quite difficult to pull off in a way that doesn't get confusing. So I’m just dabbling here. If you read or play this portion of the adventure, let me know what you think. And if you have any time travel adventure recommendations, send them my way.

The addition of the Servant Halls also marks the first time in a while when all of the existing areas in the mega-dungeon are connected by contiguous paths. The Dungeon and Sewers were a bit of an island for a while (unless you count the secret Sewer fountain entrance in the Gate House). The Servant Halls make a direct connection to the Dungeon now, which connects to the Sewers. Once I get the Monastery and the North Keep added, that’ll be everything on the ground floor, available for play. Then we get to do the final climb up The Spire, to the top.

A mega-dungeon with a big ground floor? I dub it “the dungeon sprawl”.

[clairelsonao3]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Thank you to @winterandwords for tagging me in this one! I love Q&As, I don't care what the questions are!

1. What motivates you to write?

The pursuit of fame and fortune.

Just kidding. No, in all honesty, there was a time when I was obsessed with writing for the market. I still want to make money with my fiction someday, I'm not gonna lie. But actually, it's always been about telling stories that I know no one else will tell and that need to be told. If I'm that invested in a story, nothing will stop me from finishing it.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

This is the last section of the opening chapter of The Adored. And it's going to get changed, so don't get too attached. But the gist of it has stayed through all drafts:

CW: Mention of teen females (consensually?) groping a teen male:

Hell, before this year, he’d never left the state of Minnesota. He and Afton didn’t eat pie on a boat on their first date, either. They didn’t even have a first date. But he’s let the world believe it, along with a million other lies that look pretty under pastel filters and amazing in 200 characters or less. Lies that dance center stage, that come alive under the lights. The lies are Afton’s truth. Thayer’s truth. Social media’s truth.

But they aren’t ours. Micah's and my truth is different. It’s underground, rotting in basements and prison cells, and all the dark places he still prays never to have to go back to. It’s about the night I saw Afton with a man in a dark Jaguar that turns Micah pale when he sees it, about the chains that still choke his heart and soul. It’s the jagged puzzle whose pieces he relied on me to put together, then told me never to reveal — the whats, but not the whys.

It’s why we’re really quitting.

But there’s one last truth. It’s what he’s trusting me to find. Me, the gawky giraffe in borrowed Balenciaga, with a bass she can barely play. The blurry face in the background. The tacked-on name at the bottom of the story. Bandmate Isley Nash.

I want to ask him, why me?

But before I can, it’s over. He throws himself backward off the stage. His body arches through space like a supernova. This is the moment they’ve been waiting for. They caress him, groping his hair, his legs, his junk. His eyes close. He’s lost. He’s theirs. For them, there’s only tonight.

And unless I find that truth, tonight is all there will ever be. 

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Micah (see above) is a reluctant teen rock star, a defiant rebel, a deadpan snarker, a (probable) murder victim, and my OG sad boi, so I'm always going to go with him.

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

Editing. Drafting is trying to make something out of nothing, which is torture. Editing, meanwhile, is sculpting something you create (which is almost always terrible to start off with) into something good, which is fun and fulfilling. I will vomit unreadable, ungrammatical crap onto the page just so there's something there to edit when I go back. For me, that's where 99% of the real work of writing gets done.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Dialogue! I think my dialogue is often funny and entertaining. Can I say that? I'm saying that.

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

Getting tagged to fill out Q&As like this and ramble about myself ad nauseum! No, seriously, the community I've found on Tumblr has amazingly changed my life in the best way -- and I've really only been here a few months! Here, I've found talented writers, engaged readers, and all-around wonderful human beings, who do not only NOT judge me for my bizarre tastes, but in many cases actually share them. Finding a community like that is rare enough in the internet hellscape where we often find ourselves, let alone IRL, and I will be grateful for it always.

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I've reluctantly come around to Grammarly, even though I snobbishly thought I didn't need it. Oh, and chatGPT. No, I'm kidding. I have tried it out, though. (Haven't we all?)

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

CW for discussing slavery in a clinical, dispassionate way (IDK, might be a trigger for some).

I've long thought you can't really understand or write about slavery without understanding the basic economics behind it, whether historically or in a fictional context. In most fiction with institutionalized slavery, it's either completely controlled by a dystopian government or by one single, massive company. To me, neither seemed realistic, and I think this is where this world differs from other related ones. In the world of GSNBTR, slavery is like any other sector under capitalism: it's multiple businesses of various sizes and with different niches competing against each other for customers, while being regulated (relatively lightly) by the government (as lobbied for by special interests, of course). And that also means thinking hard about the kinds of roles slaves would be likely to fill in a modern society built on that system, where they come from (likely many different places), who would own, trade, and manage them (whether government, corporations, or individuals) and how they would be likely to be used -- ie., it's not just domestic servants and sex workers, in fact, those are likely the minority of slaves. The majority are fast-food workers, landscapers, cleaners, dishwashers, farmworkers, general laborers, etc. etc. I suspect some are also used in the entertainment industry in some capacity (i.e. some actors/musicians/athletes are literally owned by movie studies/record companies/sports leagues), but I haven't really puzzled this out in detail. This stuff isn't necessarily fun to think about, but it's a must in a story like this, and I definitely did spend a lot of time thinking about it.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Are you writing what you really want to write? Always write what you want, not what you think you should. And if you can't write just for yourself, write for just one person. The rest of your audience will come naturally.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

I have to of course start with the talented writers whose work was so amazing it drew me in and got me to stay: @little-peril-stories @starlit-hopes-and-dreams

And then, to my astonishment, they reached out to support me and my own work, at times in ways far beyond anything I ever could have imagined. 💕

And then! On various levels, I've been lucky enough to know and interact with @i-can-even-burn-salad @whither-wander-whump @rickie-the-storyteller @mysticstarlightduck @painful-pooch @tabswrites @burntcoffeewhump, and @winterandwords!

And there are so many more great folks that I'm only just starting to discover, such as the following I'll gently tag (as well as OPEN TAG for anyone I mentioned above -- since you're already here, after all -- and anyone else reading this! 😂)

@romanceandshenanigans @digital-chance

[illuminatedcomics]

Today I remembered Mad Magic, and I made a LONG post about it. MM ran from November 2017 to May 2020 for a total of nearly 200 pages, my longest comic yet, not only in terms of actual continuous posting, but in development, as I have sketches and art dating back from 2011. Almost ten years of planning and drawing resulted in me having a big burnout that lasted a year and a half. It wasn’t MM fault that happened, and this post is sort of me coming to terms with what went wrong.

While the details and the higher concept shifted and changed multiple times, the heart of this comic always remained the same: there’re two girls, they’re roommates, and they live through a series of comedic horror adventures. 

Around early 2017, I combined this first draft with many newer ideas about high concept parody/deconstructions of Harry Potter: “What if a teenage Chosen one enters their adulthood and realizes they can’t top all the stuff they did as a kid?” and “What if one of those wallpaper background bullies that work as henchman for the main rival was the center of the narrative?” To be honest I was never a huge fan of Harry Potter, but still, I was in the right age group to see the movies as a kid, and read a few of the early books, so these concepts intrigued me.

Enter Mad Magic, the story of Joy Kaplan, former Demon Goat (that’s your house Slytherin), who after getting kicked out of school, ends up living a life of expedients, together with sassy Alix Peck, a punk girl that appears normal but has actually a mysterious past.

You know how they tell you “don’t make your first comic your big end all epic magnum opus”? Well, Mad Magic wasn’t technically my first attempt at a webcomic, but it nailed the too big for its own good part. When I finished planning it, it was going to be 17 chapters long (40 to 80 pgs each), with dozens of characters, twists, turns, action scenes, magic, time travel, vampires, elves, doppelgangers, lovecraftian gods, crossovers with other stories of mine, long haul plans a la Once Piece where that one character introduced in one panel in page 4 of chapter 1 was supposed to become the main villain of the story arc of chapter 12…

Considering the series ended after 4 chapters and a quarter, we know something broke down along the way. But what? Well first off MM was a ton of work. I structured the pages in a large euro-comic style, with four rows of panels, that fluctuated between 10 to 20 each, all full color. With a day job, completing a full page could take a couple of days or even a full weekend. So that was tiring, maintaining the schedule ate up a lot of free time, and whenever I missed an update or decided to take a brief hiatus I always regretted it and felt like crap about it.

But the biggest problem was a lack of general fulfillment and this absence was caused by my perceived inability to “find an audience”. There’re plenty of articles online explaining the causes of burnout, and one of the big ones is the problem with “reward”, when you don’t feel like the effort you put into something is worth what you’re getting in return.

There were people reading Mad Magic, there were people that seemed to love Mad Magic, but in my eyes, they were never enough… but what would’ve been “enough” anyway? What magic number would've made it worth it??? Ultimately, this junction between my inability to gather a larger interest, and the presence of this foggy, undescribed “number” of people that would’ve satisfied me caused the wheels to break down. I was letting things like subscriber counts, likes per page, pageviews and reblogs dictate how I perceived my own creation. If a page got fewer likes than average, I started wondering, obsessing what was wrong with it. 

The point is, after nearly three years of working on Mad Magic, doing my damnest to put out pages weekly, I was seeing absolutely no growth in reach or audience and I didn’t really know what I was doing wrong or if I was doing anything right in the first place. This stagnation led to stress, which led to losing pleasure in doing the comic in the first place, so that I was forcing myself to make pages, eventually leading to burnout and the complete loss in my desire to draw again. It took me a year and a half to get back into things, a period so nasty and bleak that even the idea of reading a comic made me queasy. The fact that this coincided with the global covid pandemic exacerbated the problems, but I think that even without that, it would’ve simply taken a bit longer to reach the same point of no return. I realize now this mentality was unfair towards the few readers I had, and to myself too.  I try not to worry about the idea of “finding an audience” anymore. I make the stuff I make because I want to, if I catch myself thinking “people won’t care about this” I nip it in the bud. I’m lucky enough that I don’t need to draw for a living, and considering artist’s spaces on the web seem to be constantly shrinking, the whole endeavor of finding a following online seems just a headache. I also try not to be bothered by the concept of schedules and updates.  I only draw when I want, when I feel like it, and it works. I look at stuff like Toxic Park, one of my current projects: in 2022, I produced around 80 pgs of story in two blocks, when the will and inspiration to do so hit me. That’s roughly the same amount of pages of Mad Magic I made in a similar period 2017/2018, by forcing myself to have at least one page ready every single week. So, the change in schedule or lack thereof, didn’t result in a change in output. Not to mention, that in both cases, I tried to develop other ideas simultaneously, and while with MM coming out that felt like crunching, at my leisure carefree pace I also made a 20 pages historical comic, Theo the Lucky, and nine more shorter comics, which are all around two to three pages worth of story (and you’ve seen posted on this blog). Simply put, I feel like I draw so much more now that I don’t cage myself in a mentality where “I must get this done before this completely imaginary deadline hits”.

I still hold the Mad Magic’s cast dear to my heart, they’re part of a ten year journey. I often try to think of ways of bringing it back, but continuing from the point where I left it off, where things were just starting to get interesting, doesn’t feel right. I may follow Osamu Tezuka’s Star System, where the same characters in personality and design are recontextualized in completely different stories. We’ll see.

Mad Magic is still up on tumblr where it was originally posted! And looking back at it, I think it still holds up relatively well. I lost all passwords and emails relative to that account so I can’t access it, but the entirety of the comic in its uncompleted state (I think some pages might’ve been weirdly flagged during the tumblr porn ban?) can still be read here:

@madmagic-comic

[sheliesshattered]

Interior sleeve finishes:

Done!

Armscye facing:

Done!

Neckline facing and reinforcement for trim and beading:

Done!

Visibility from the outside:

NONE!

Pardon my excitement over finishing these finishings, but I'm just so glad to be done. All of these were fiddly, time-consuming handsewing, but now that they're done, all the interior finishes of the overdress are checked off my list. I still need to do the hem (probably very last step of the whole project), and the handsewing on the underdress seamlines are still ongoing, but this is still a huge section of the project done. Huzzah.

Someone on the Dragon Con discord mentioned the other day how much time cosplayers spend doing teeny tiny hand-stitches that no one else will ever see, because the whole point of them is to be invisible. The dimpling along the sleeve seam is just a little bit visible, even after ironing, but that's mostly down to the thickness of the flat-felled fabric there. But the neckline and armscye finishes are completely invisible, even from close up, which is exactly what I wanted. A lot of effort, but worth it.

With all the finishing (except the hem) done, it's finally finally time to move on to the trim portion of this project! The wide strip of organza to finish the neckline was measured to match the 1.5" trim that will be going along there, and that will have ~200 tiny garnet seed beads sewn on top. The red silk can be a little fragile feeling, so I wanted to be sure that the trim+beading would have plenty of support to grab onto.

Getting that trim placed and seamed together at center front and shoulder seams is going to be another tedious project, but I think getting that -- and the narrow trim that goes over the seamlines -- into place will really bring the dress into focus and make it look a lot more like the screen-used dress. The narrow trim is going to look something like this:

I need to play around with it a bit to figure out placement and technique, but I'm planning to anchor it to the interior vertical seam finishings if possible. It all needs to be handsewn, but the trim is so narrow that I think I'll either be able to do a single line of stitches, or a narrow zig-zag alternating between the sides. This trim is on nine of the ten seams (not center back, for some reason, but eh I'll match the show and skip that one) running from shoulder to floor, so even if the handsewing itself is fast, I've got a lot of ground to cover.

The narrow trim disappears under the wide neckline trim at center front and over the shoulders (a fact I used when drafting the shoulders waaaaay back in January, which is weird to think about now), so I may end up sewing on at least the upper edge of the wide trim before I do the trim for those five seams, just so I can position it correctly in relation to the bottom edge of the wide trim. I think I'll start with one of the underarm seams, though, until I have a good grasp on the technique for couching the narrow trim along the seamlines.

Besides getting started on the trim, this week I also want to keep hacking away at all the seam finishes for the underdress. This past week I was able to finish a stretch of one seam from waist to floor, and start on another one. It's another part of this project that is very slow and tedious work, but it would be even more fiddly if I tried to do it by machine, so I'm just going to keep at it little by little.

The only other thing I might try to tackle this week is sewing the hooks and eyes to the forearm opening of the sleeves. It's not hugely pressing, but I do want to have those in and functioning before I add this same narrow trim to the cuff of the sleeves. I still need to figure out what I want to do for the wide flat circular medallions? beads? trim? that are just above that. I think I might be able to replicate the ones on the show using the narrow trim, but if not I do have a couple of options bookmarked on Etsy.

And speaking of, this last week I also ordered the last piece of jewelry I need, and the bits for making the one thing that I haven't been able to find a good stand-in for also arrived. Jack has promised to help me with that, we just haven't gotten to it yet. I'll definitely post pics once that's done. There are a couple of other little bits -- lacing rings and aglets -- that I need to order for the decorative dragon-claw lacings on the front of the dress, but I my shopping list is definitely getting pretty short.

Not counting today, there are 86 days left until Dragon Con, basically just 12 weeks plus a couple of days for packing and last minute wig fussing and such. And I think I'm well on track to get this project done, including a little matching bag to carry all my con necessities around in.

Buuut I've also sourced all the bits I would need for the other cosplay I'm really excited about, including an alternative for the one piece I want to sew, in case I run out of time to sew it. And then there's the classic-and-comfy cosplay that I've been meaning to tackle for literal decades that would be fun to have for an easy Thursday evening cosplay, and ugh I just want to sew all the things!

OTOH, given that it's 12 weeks until Dragon Con, I'm also trying to get my sleep schedule under control again, and walk earlier (and longer) every morning, to prepare for all the walking that con entails. So I should probably wrap up this post, maybe do a little more handsewing on the underdress before bed, and make myself get some sleep. And hopefully not dream about working on cosplay again tonight, lol.

[bl00dst41ned]

little recap of my fics (bye 2023 edition) - inspired by @hopefulromantic1

first fic posted :

safe place

i impulsively posted my first Jobe fic on july 28,2023, without knowing it marked the beginning of a beautiful journey here. i remember writing it because i couldn't find any jobe content.

the one i enjoyed the most writing :

snooze

i remember watching sza's "snooze" music video for the first time and being so giddy at the sight of sza and justin together, i had to write about it. the writing process was one of my fav because i just went with the flow, letting my fingers roam on the keyboard.

just another love song

this has to be my favourite smau (along with one i have unfinished in my drafts). i just loved the process, like getting the pictures, finding captions etc. (except the comments, i can't stand these)

my favourite scenario(s) :

the other man

i LOVE LOVE LOVE this fic for the plot. i wish i wrote it better (might rewrite it) and it got more views. i think i could write an entire book of it.

another lifetime

even though it is a sad one, it holds such a special place in my heart. i genuinely took my time with it (hence why it's my longest fic), trying to focus on the expression of emotions as there was a lot. i tried to write it as best as i could and i love it dearly

my biggest successes :

catching flights

crazy, this was my fastest growing fic yet i wrote it under an hour i think. remember waking up to see it have gained 200 notes overnight. what a way to wake up (thank you so much for it by the way, you may not know but you make me so happy)

unexpected

another jude work, love writing dad fics so loved this one too. i remember it took me so much time i was DONE. to this day it might the one that gets liked the most every day.

that one special fic

hold me in the cold

it is my most recent vvd fic and it's the first fic I wrote (I was just posting headcanons and smaus) I'm partially happy about it but love it too because I finally succeeded writing a full fic even though it's short

thank you for your support this year, you guys brought so much joy in my life, I don't think you can imagine. happy new year, much love and blessing to you for 2024

[iwasbored777]

A personal message to all of you, you don't have to open it if you don't want to

I cannot explain how I feel whenever someone sends me a message or something and tells me that I was the reason why they made their accounts here because of my Marinette sugar because they didn't have a lot of accounts like those and now I'm here because I remember desperately stalking Tumblr in order to find more accounts that love her and I couldn't find many and the number got smaller and smaller and I had like three accounts I could visit but I couldn't even scroll down the tag anymore and I made an account for that instead of waiting for more people to show up because I wanted to be the change I wanted to see in the world - someone had to - because if no one is ashamed of being hateful towards her why should I be ashamed of loving her and now when I got this far - I made a lot of mutuals and friends and we have so many quality inside jokes here and I'm having so much fun - whenever someone tells me that they actually joined here because they loved the MS I post I almost tear up because it feels great to achieve something so small but so useful. I'm not here to change someone's opinion and magically make everyone who hates her love her, I'm here to gather Marinette stans and see how many of you there is and have fun. And most people I know here are great and I'm so happy to be able to share any opinion I have with you guys, there is always one or two people who are get angry or something but that can't compare to everyone who supports me and listens to me when I say I feel bad, I hate complaining but sometimes it's too much and I understand we all have bad days, I can't agree with everyone, and I promise I'll follow you if we get along. I sometimes forget to follow a person and when I do that same person is so happy and then I'm emotional again because I remember all this when I started and when I was counting when I'll get to this number then this number but I already had a lot of notes and all and at start I immediately got a lot of followers, mostly because of my memes and sense of humour in general. Oh and I'm very sorry when I don't answer asks, I'm trying but there is a lot of them and believe it or not they're still saved there, I have like 200+ asks in my inbox, and I'll try to answer anything I can but sometimes believe me I forget and I forget to find them in drafts. You should know I respect you all and I can't always be an angel but no one is, what makes it great is that we understand each other and have fun and most of you don't judge me and you always love the way I am because I'm not hiding anything, this is who I am. And when those rumours that I sent someone death threats started I thought my account will be cancelled but you guys didn't believe in those and that soon stopped thank God. So thank you again (I call you "guys" all the time for some reason skssksk) and thanks for being you. If you need anything I'm here, I'll try to help you or answer you as soon as possible. You guys are always here for me. It feels great. I don't have a lot of friends in real life but you are here and that's all I need to get me through the day. I need you to know how good you make my every day. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

And I'm sending YOU love 💜❤️💖💜♥️❤️♥️❤️💖❤️💖❤️💖❤️♥️♥️

[screadingchallenge]

Behind the Keyboard Volume 22

Behind the Keyboard is a series of interviews with different Schitt’s Creek fanfic authors. The series will last as long as there is interest (from authors) and capacity (from me). If you are an author from the Schitt’s Creek fandom who would like to participate, send a DM to this account.  

Each author was given ten questions. The first five questions are the same for every author, the last five will vary.

Let’s meet our next author:

@vivianblakesunrisebay​ /  vivianblakesunrisebay

How many fics have you written?

30

When did you publish your first fic on AO3?

September 20, 2019

Describe your writing process from “Oh, I have an idea” to pushing publish on AO3. 

My writing process is just… writing. LOL. Before I do anything else, I need to start writing out my idea to see if it has any life to it. Basically I need a hook into my character’s POV–something specific in their attitude toward the situation I’ve put them in. Once I have that hook, I feel like I’m pulled into their head and I can just keep going, putting them in more situations and knowing how they’ll react. For a long work, of course, I need to spend time planning out the plot, I can’t do it too far ahead. My plot is mostly worked out as I go along and then backtracking if I end up on a blind alley. Two of my AUs have mystery plots, The Rosebud Diamond and Sting Like a Bee, and I had to juggle not only what was happening but how it would be discovered. What do the characters know, what does the reader know, and when do they know it. It was a lot! I wish I could do outlines, but the closest I get is making lists of what might happen. That said, my first drafts tend to be pretty bare bones, almost like a glorified outline. I go through lots of drafts in general, the first pass being to establish the basic framework, the second adding emotions and reactions, and then lastly working on the language itself. I know some people don’t edit much, but frankly, I’d be embarrassed for people to read my first drafts.  

Tell me about your most recent fic? What do you love about it? Is there anything you think you could have done better?

My most recent fic, Step Right Up, grew out of a writing challenge I did with a group of other writers, where we had a prompt and each wrote a 200 word snippet. It was a great challenge. My snippet had David and Patrick at a carnival, and I was drawn to the idea of Patrick wanting to give David a rom com-worthy carnival date and things going wrong, but they’re at a point in their relationship where things going wrong can be a source of fun and teasing instead of angst and stress. Also I always love the dynamic of Patrick (over)planning and David saving the day. 

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about publishing their fic for the first time?

I think in terms of subject matter, write like it’s only for you. Don’t feel like you have to conform to other people’s headcanons. In terms of writing, I’d say it’s good to remember that sometimes less is more. Aim for clarity. Your reader shouldn’t have to work hard to figure out what’s going on. A beta is great for this, pointing out areas where you need to be more clear. 

Do you use a beta? Why or why not? Do you beta for other people?

Yes, my fellow authors @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3​ and @missgeevious​ are my betas. A beta makes everything better! They are great for brainstorming, helping you when you’re blocked, and motivating you to write in the first place. And yes, I also beta. I love it! It’s a privilege to get a first look at writing from authors I love, and learning to offer clear feedback is a learning process in itself. I feel it strengthens my own writing.

How many unfinished WIPs do you have right now?

One, actually! Unlike what I hear from most writers, I generally only have one thing I’m working on, though with long works I will sometimes pause to write a short fic. I have a short list of ideas, or maybe a plan for what I’ll write next, but that’s it. I also have a couple of things that I started writing but couldn’t find a way for it to work, but I consider those dead ends not WIPs. 

In what way are you most like your favorite Schitt’s Creek character?

I’m a people pleaser, I tend to force myself into boxes defined by others, and I tend to put off difficult conversations. Guess who my favorite character is?

Would you rather find a title or write a summary?

I would much rather write a summary. Luckily my beta is amazing at titles so I have outsourced that to her pretty much completely.

How much of yourself do you put into your stories or characters?

This is an interesting question. There’s bits of myself in my writing, but that’s not what motivates me to write. It’s more like I’m trying to escape from being in my own head by getting into the heads of other people.

[hourcat]

Bestie I'm going to bite. Tell me about Daniel Jones? People on my twitter TL started talking about him and he seems incredibly Shaped.

AAUHDJDFKKSBDKDNDKD oh my god cerona this message has made my MORNING. he!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰 dj is my babygirlest babygirl ever. you are the first person to ever ask me about him so forgive me but im abt to RAMBLE<3

but like. in all seriousness. he's the quarterback for the giants! he was drafted really high (#6 overall, out of 32 picks in the first round and 200+ picks in the whole nfl draft) in 2019 to transition the giants' former qb (eli manning, two time super bowl champ, famous new york sports figure) out of the role. the pick got clowned on at first bc he looks like eli and the owner/general manager seemed like they just wanted someone who looked like eli, not a player who'd actually been a star in college, but he went along with it anyway despite the noise. and it kind of worked at first! DJ came in when eli was benched/kept out of the game because he wasn't playing well, and he looked really flashy and exciting the whole rest of the year! even when they lost, daniel was playing his ass off and giving spark to a team that had been wallowing in mediocrity for like, two and a half years.

but then the head coach got fired at the end of the year because the team was so bad, and the man they replaced him with (joe judge) inherited him but hired the wroooong guy to actually build a good offense around him, so he floundered and looked hot-and-cold and generally was kind of a joke in the league. he tripped over his own two feet running almost the entire length of the football field during a game on Prime Time™ (aka monday night football, one of the most watched games every weekend) and got memed on hard. he's gotten hurt enough to miss significant time over the last two years, so people think he's unreliable. he turned the ball over a lot early on in his giants career (dropped it, fumbled it, threw interceptions & gave the other team possession of the ball) and people got really mad about it and haven't let it go still. mind you, the rest of the offense was not pretty either!! but DJ was the QB, hence the focus of the blame, and has been under fire by the media and everyone for the past three years. he always takes it quietly and never lashes out or says ANYTHING to make a headline or anything. he's a lil stupid. but he just ignores the hate and the criticism and goes on.

but! the reason you prob saw him on your timeline was because HE IS KILLING IT THIS YEAR. a new coaching staff was brought in to replace joe judge's, along with new members of the team responsible for contracts and player management and general financial decisionmaking, and daniel is thriving under them. they like him so much. they're building an offense full of plays and stuff that HE likes, not just stuff the coach thinks will work. he's got help now (he doesn't get hit immediately after he gets the ball, thanks to the offensive line that's protecting him) and he's got one of the best weapons in the league (saquon barkley!) with him, back and healthy, and he's putting the team on his back and just. making plays. scoring. winning. the giants are 4-1 for the first time since 2009. and daniel is such a big part of that!!

he's also SO shaped. you're so right. he has the face of a baby and the body of A Man™. he's quiet and has a little bit of a southern accent and is so polite--there is nothing flashy about him the way most athletes, nfl and non-nfl, seem to have these days. he's just a boy!!!!! he is just MY BABY. he goes to work and focuses and doesn't let the media (full of new york assholes who just want to talk shit) impact him. he's a great teammate and a good friend and he's awkward and a lil goofy seeming but he is just. he has gotten so much shit from EVERYONE for so long, right from the moment he came to new york, but he persevered! he kept doing the work even in spite of the noise! and people are finally beginning to see that he might be the real thing (something ive known for years 😌) instead of just a meme or a bad football player. and he deserves it so so soooo much ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

ok deej spam

this is my blorboest blorbo. above everyone else. i love charles n i looove pierre but neither of them have reached my Daniel Jones Woobification level yet