#also i really need to use Tumblr more only social that actually makes fun using atm

[acatwithstockings]

Hell's Usher but what if still in heaven.

The 'normal' one (aka right one) is from back in 2020 when I had more time and better mental health ironically enough so excuse the fall off in quality

Some extra doodles of alternative designs as treat .

[cherrystaineddoll]

𝓽hings to do instead of scrolling ౨ৎ

summer is here, school is over and you have way too much free time on your hands. so unless you want to spend your whole days with your eyes locked on a screen, here's an in- depth guide on what to do this summer, or whenever!!

learn a new language - trust me, speaking more than one language is a skill that everyone should have, and it always comes in handy. you can watch tv shows, movies or youtube videos in your target language, read beginner books, use apps (not duolingo though.. ) and even just listen to music!! just expose yourself to the language as much as you can, even better if you know anyone you can have conversations with. you could also learn sign language!!

journal or scrapbook - writing down your feelings really helps understanding your own self more. you can try doing shadow work to really dive deep, or just write whatever you feel in that moment. it doesn't have to become a chore, and remember, write for yourself and not as if someone else was going to read!! as for scrapbooking, just print out some nice photos and decorate the pages with stickers, drawings, fun colored paper.. whatever you want, just be creative!!

make art - it doesn't have to look perfect, remember that all art is beautiful in its own way. even if you think you're not good at it, just create, it will help you feel better & you'll also get better with time!! you can draw, paint, sculpt, do pottery, etc. you don't have to follow any guidelines, just buy a random sketchbook, bring out your inner child and do whatever you feel like doing

learn how to play an instrument - this can be a bit expensive, but if you have any instrument in your house that you've never used, it might be a great time to start learning it!! you don't necessarily need to take classes, you can easily find tutorials on youtube, even though it might be harder to learn by yourself. but making music is a really fun activity & good for the soul

reading and writing - i will never recommend reading enough !! everyone should read. it helps you learn new things, understand different perspectives, expand your vocabulary, and so much more. i know books can be expensive, but you can always try to buy them at flea markets, or ask a friend/family member to lend you some. and just in case, there are always some sites where you can read books online for free, like zlibrary!! you can read before going to bed instead of staying on your phone (which is sooo bad for your sleep), at the beach while tanning or outside while getting some fresh air. and if reading books inspires you, you can try to write something!! i'm not saying you have to write a 600 page book, but you can try to write small stories, or poetry, and who knows, someday you might actually write a book! if you want to get published, there are some small literary magazines you can find on social media that publish the works of small writers, it can be a great way to start. you can also always post your works here on tumblr, substack, or any social media platform!! you could also try to write the story for a movie and start screenwriting, if you're into cinematography

research interesting topics - now that school isn't forcing you to study things that maybe you don't care about, you can study whatever you want !! remember, knowledge is power, and with the internet, you basically have the world in your hands. you can watch a youtube video, read a book, or simply research on websites (make sure they're reliable though). you can also take online courses!! i might make a post on ideas for what to research??

start a new hobby - your life can't only be made of school/work, sleep, and a screen. you need hobbies that you actually like and that make you feel good. some of these can be: baking and cooking, crocheting, knitting, embroidery, jewelry making, nail art, makeup, photography, editing, blogging/vlogging, coloring, candle making, soap making, perfume making, modeling, origami, sewing, making diy stuff, chess, puzzles, acting, singing, flower arranging, meditating, lego building, trying new hairstyles or outfits, doing animations, discovering new music, sudoku, the things i previously wrote, and probably a million other activities i can't think of right now

stay active - moving you body is good for both your physical and mental health, i'm sure we all know that. you can go on walks or runs in the nature with your headpones on, or do any sport that you like- some ideas: swimming, dancing (ballet, hip hop, modern, ecc) , tennis, martial arts (judo, karate, taekwondo, ecc), volleyball, basketball, athletics, gymnastics, football, archery, fencing, table tennis, boxing, surfing, rowing, hockey, horseback riding, softball, golf, biking, figure skating, rollerblading, skating.. you don't need to do it competitively (unless you want to), as long as you're having fun and moving your body. you can also do workouts, like yoga or pilates, at home or outdoors, or go hiking.

watch movies, tv shows, or documentaries - it can always be a good learning experience, or just something fun and relaxing that isn't mindlessly scrolling. a bonus: after you've watched something, write a very long, detailed and in-depth review in your journal. you can also post it wherever you want (like letterboxd, to fight all the one liners)

hang out - with friends, family, or even by yourself !! (i know, i know, it can be scary). you can do anything, as long as you're with the right people everything is fun, but here's some ideas: have a picnic, go to the beach, go to a water park, have a baking contest, do temporary tattoos, go to a concert, go out to eat, do a one day trip, go on a road trip, take a walk in the nature, go hiking, go to a trampoline park, go to an amusement park, visit a museum, go thrifting or shopping, have a board games night, try out a new cute cafe or bakery, do an escape room, have a karaoke night, have a movie marathon, and so much more!!

i hope this helped!! ♡

[sokkastyles]

For some reason I'm seeing homophobic/biphobic Katara on my feed and fanart of it (I don't know how the algorithm thought I liked that shit) but I just don't understand how that trope even came to be especially since it seems like a vast majority of the people who are into that are Zukka fans or either think she would specifically be homophobic to Zuko. (Which doesn't make sense in the first place due to their relationship in Canon. Also isn't it canon that Aang is the only one who lived in a "open-minded" and "accepting" society while everyone else was discriminatory?)

Homophobic Katara has been making a resurgence lately and it comes from misogyny (and homophobia itself). For a couple of reasons.

In the show, Katara actually points out and makes fun of Sokka for his homophobia and misogyny. Zukka fans decided that since Sokka was gay/bi, this meant that Katara was being homophobic towards him. Which wouldn't even be true even if Sokka were canonically gay. Gay men acting on internalized homophobia is still homophobia. And in reality, Sokka is like, the straightest person in the series. Either way, Katara is right to call him out.

Katara is the only character who holds explicitly feminist views and cares about social justice. Not just "girls can fight, too," I mean that she actually uses the word sexist to call people out. So naturally, people decided that meant she was a bitch. And the person who most gets called out for being sexist is her brother.

Part of it also comes from fear of zutara. Some people feel the need to go out of their way to make Katara be extremely antagonistic to Zuko (who they headcanon as gay and back up with extremely homophobic evidence, like one time he moved his wrist a certain way, or he has a slight lisp). Which also comes from misogyny, ignores the actual valid reasons Katara was antagonistic to Zuko, and also ignores that they became close friends and allies. Besides, even when they were enemies, when Katara realized she had said something unintentionally ableist about Zuko's scar, she immediately apologized. No way would she make homophobic jokes about him.

I've also seen people say "oh, Katara and Zuko are friends, she just uses slurs against him all the time, and only him." Which also mischaracterizes Katara and is also still homophobic. Katara does tease Zuko once after they become friends, about his portrayal in the play, but when she saw that he was really bothered by it, she became serious and asked him what was wrong. The idea that she would call someone she was friends with slurs as a joke is complete disrespect to her character. And like always, I tend to think people on tumblr don't actually have friends if they think this is an acceptable way to treat people. Remember when we talked about how gay people can still be homophobic? Casually throwing around slurs and saying that straight people can use slurs against gay people "but it's okay because they're friends" is homophobia. Saying that it's okay for a straight person to call a gay person a slur because she specifically doesn't like him, "but she's not actually homophobic, it's just him" is homophobia.

It's also funny that people cry about how we need to respect Zuko and Katara's platonic friendship, but also need to headcanon them as sexually incompatable to ensure that they remain six feet apart at all times.

Anyway Zuko and Katara are both bi and friends can make out with each other sometimes, as a treat.

I don't think it's actually canon that the Air Nomads were more "open-minded," at least not in the original series. I know that was added later to the comics, but the show describes the Air Nomads as living in gender segregated temples, which is not something that a society that is open-minded about sex and gender does. Aang doesn't notice when Sokka is making homophobic remarks towards him sometimes, but that's more about his age, and he gets extremely insecure in his masculinity during the Ember Island play and takes it out on Katara as a result.

And isn't it a fun coincidence that Katara is yet again the victim of misogyny in a situation where another male character gets labeled as more progressive than her? Interesting, that.

[squidpedia]

hi im pedia i like uty/utdr did you know bet you didnt know

faq, tag guide, and comics masterpost under the spinning creature

Pronouns?

Any

Drawing program?

Procreate

Socials?

Youtube, Twitter (lurking only at this point), Bluesky, Switch (SW-2670-2211-5056) (thats not a social but crash my splatoon lobbies it would be funny)

Art trades/commissions?

Art trades open to mutuals, commissions not yet open but im aiming to open them in june hopefully!!!!

Boundaries on reposting, dubbing, and pfp’s

Dubs and reposts are ok just credit and let me know please so i can check it out. Send it to my inbox or dm’s or something pleaseeee I’d want to see!!!!! PFP’s also don’t need permission, just include credit somewhere like your bio

I sent you an ask a while ago/tagged you in a post but you never responded

I’M AWFUL AT RESPONDING TO ASKS AND TEND TO MISS A LOT OF NOTIFICATIONS I’M SORRYYYYYY I PROMMY IM JUST TERRIBLE. We have officially reached 200 missed asks :,,,,,) if you tagged me in a post don’t be afraid to rb it and tag me again, sorry for that!

I sent you a dm but didn’t get a responce

I mainly keep my messages open incase of questions/concerns, but otherwise when it comes to just casual chatting in the dm’s I prefer to limit that to my 18+ mutuals. I’ll probably leave you on read otherwise, sorry nothing against you!

I liked x thing you made. Can I make something inspired by it?

YEAH!!!! Flattered and happy I inspired you in that way!! Just 1) credit me and tag if youre posting it on tumblr, I would be so sad if I didn’t see it and would love love love to rb it and 2) if you need me to elaborate on anything then ask any questions and i’d be happy to yap. If it involves any of my fallen human designs just know they all go by they/them and u should be fine

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

TAG GUIDE:

#Undertale Heart to Heart -> posts talking about my designs and thoughts regarding my fallen kid OCs. Its mostly lilac sorry. individual kids got their own tags like #aimee hth but I'm not linking them sorry you have to find those yourself

#Happily Ever After and Then Some (HEAaTS?) -> copium everyone lives au idgaf please let me have shameless fun and be extra nice because im probably shaking in my boots sharing any and all headcannons relating to this. based on the events of uty

#Phantom integrity au -> Narrator Integrity basically. its not really “canon” to lilac lore but i like drawing lilac as a ghost so🤷‍♂️. Ps if you wanna make your own content based off this concept, please go for it. You don’t even have to use lilac, i call it the phantom integrity au and not narra lilac just in case someone wants to yoink the concept for their own integrity. I think that’d be cool

#Kanako Integrity Duo -> kanako and integrity brain conversations. this is more canon to lilac lore actually

#Pedias art -> yuh

#Other peoples art -> you should check them out please 🥺

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

UTDR/UTY COMICS MASTERPOST

(uty comics are highlighted in orange)

Clover’s Memories

Hiatus :(

Silence | Memory 1 | Memory 2 | Memory 2.5 | Sound | Memory 3 | Discrepancy | Memory 4 | Static

Clover’s Hat (post revive au)

Part 1 /// Part 2 /// Bonus

Kanako Integrity Duo (really short mini doodle comics)

Reconciliation // Introductions // Ceroba // Chujin

Miscellaneous:

Kris Clover Interaction // Kind Soul // Frisk vs. Clover’s POV // Bedtime // Who’s Your Friend? // Pipe Down // Family Visit // Unwell // Letter // Humor // Gamer // They // Kicked Out // It Keeps Happening // What’s In A Name // i dont think chara berdly and clover should be in a room together (i’ll probably make a cleaner version later) // Banter // Time // Block Out

Fallen Kids: (absolutely no promises i make many of these)

Related Reasons

[myfanfictiongarden]

After reading Gaston Leroux The Phantom of the Opera, I was told by Tumblr that the official English translation was not a complete translation…? Thats odd… 

Anyway, looked up a pdf of the (hopefully) complete text in French.

Extras in French original:

There is a moment when the author quotes an article description of prima-ballerina La Sorelli- basically how hot she is and how incredibly beautiful, and slightly making fun of the critic who thinks that only criteria worth mentioning for a ballerina. A bit odd to cut that….

When we first follow Raoul towards Christine’s dressing-room after her big debue, the author talks about how Raoul was so firm in his honour that he did not think to ever look at any woman then the one who could be his wife, until he met Christine again and knew its her. Screw social norms, he´s gonna marry her. Thats really, really sweet. Why was this cut?

A short description of the secretary M. Remy, which kinda later builds upon why he would have been extra upset at Gabriel and Macier keeping things from him, not to mention the managers ignoring him for a simple safety-pin. Again… why was it cut?

Discussion on Carlotta’s singing and soul, with the author wondering how she could have sung all those beautiful compositions without putting her heart into it. This should not have been cut!

When Christine is taken the first time down to the Phantom´s apartment, the official translation says that, when in the apartment, she got angry, he sung, she fell asleep comforted. ….that kinda makes her look simple-minded. I would not be put so easily at ease if a guy abducts me and then starts to sing a bad rendition of Fix You. Why was her mentioning which songs he sung and what feelings they stirred cut? The wonder and awe she feels at hearing that heavenly voice in the flesh? The official eng. translation makes her look kinda easily manipulated in that moment, while with the addition of the songs, even if one doesn’t know them oneself, you still get a feeling why she would take a break from crying, why she would be actually curious about the man who just kidnapped her, of whom she was screaming bloody murder seconds ago. This should not have been cut!!!!!

Her mentioning that her bedroom had wallpapers. Idk, that little info makes her room look both more cozy then a sparsely furnished cellar, as well as more creepy (some random guy took care to make her prison as cozy as possible… tell me that does not sound like info you´ld hear on a true-crime podcast!)

Christine mentioning a pair of scissors she thought to use on herself in case of need… yeah, thats dark. But no, you can’t argue this was too dark to keep, because we still get her smashing her head against a wall later on. This should have been kept, because, while she may be “naive” she’s not stupid or ignorant of what dangers she might be in. (True, I would rather use the scissors on my abductor then on myself, but while her solution seems drastic its really fitting both for the time period and her character)

Christine also tells Raoul how, even though she was helplessly on the floor in fright, that Erik did not “take her in his arms” , (as in “take her by force”), which is incredibly honourable to mention, because even though she was afraid of his affections she wasn’t too much so of physical violence… like, that is sooo important to keep, WHY WAS THIS CUT!!!!!

If I missed something, please feel free to add.

[dot-png]

PLEASE TALK MORE ABOUT AUTISTIC CODED BRYCE PLS PLEASE its so fun to read ur thoughts abt him/hfjone characters in general :33/nf

i went a little over this on my mini analysis of him:

since im not good at organizing my thoughts (very apparent in this image tbh) ill pick some of the asd diagnosis criteria and elaborate based on how i see it fitting bryce

Difficulties in social emotional reciprocity, including trouble with social approach, back and forth conversation, sharing interests with others, and expressing/understanding emotions.

again, bryce's monotone, he has a lot of trouble expressing himself. i think it's also interesting to bring up how he's sarcastic, people tend to think most if not all autistic people don't understand irony and while that's the case for a lot of us we can still understand and be sarcastic we're just bad at it most of the time . he has a hard time expressing himself so he chooses to be obnoxiously sarcastic. maybe to fit in who knows

for the trouble with social approach i can think of how in onei 4 kylie talks about bryce snapping at their boss, but specifically the visual part because like they were just talking to him and he snapped out of nowhere. you can argue that kylie said he was acting unusually but, what if its unusual because he couldn't make an effort to mask because of how much one was bothering him. a workplace is a very common place to mask. he wasn't acting unusually, screaming at people is very common for bryce, kylie just doesn't know about it because she only sees him at work and he'd like to maintain his job. do you get what im saying probably not

i'll go on a tangent actually, this scene with oscar also feels like masking to me... notice how he's carefully picking his words and putting on a character so that they can leave already because oscar was not collaborating. even if he seems to be communicative while trying to find a way out of the conversation hes still trying to find a way out of the conversation like, he doesn't know how to approach it so he makes something up. he even forces a smile

this sounds a little dumb considering how he was just trying to prevent liam from dropping a bombshell to oscar but if you squint it does makes sense and im one hundred percent right

Difficulties in nonverbal communication used for social interaction including abnormal eye-contact and body language and difficulty with understanding the use of nonverbal communication like facial expressions or gestures for communication.

i can think of this scene:

(transcript bc tumblr wont let me add two videos)

but you can argue that everyone has a hard time understanding stone lol

i just think it's interesting that when stone resorted to pushing bryce he immediately took it personally, like, he didn't try connecting the dots based on what he was gesticulating before. and thats because bryce is very defensive - which is also an autistic trait.....! it mainly relates to the frustration we feel when someone is annoyed that don't understand them, but to us they were clearly not being clarificatory at all. even if we don't intend to sound confrontational when contesting them, we end up doing so

i kinda wish we got a bryce interview so we could see how he acted. i like how cheesy portrayed the characters' mannerisms in the investigations like, how most of them act really awkward, and that's enhaced by the fact that we're viewing it from ava's perspective

Deficits in developing and maintaining relationships with other people (other than with caregivers), including lack of interest in others, difficulties responding to different social contexts, and difficulties in sharing imaginative play with others.

i dont think i need to explain this one that much like bryce's not very social, he doesn't talk to anyone at work, his only friend is bradley and the police thought one of the best people to interview for his disappearance was a co-worker. bryce's closest relationship ever aside for liam and amelia seems to have been stella (a caregiver) and that's it

even with liam and amelia he has some problems with communication

getting into headcanon territory i wanna expand on that last part with imaginative play, it's obviously referring to children but like we saw bryce as a child so i can come up with something

to me it always seemed like bryce and stella had a big age difference for siblings, like by looking at that image alone you can deduce that bryce's a small child while stella's already a teenager. and as someone with just one sibling really older than me it really affects our mannerisms when playing, like a child would want their sibling to play with them but they're already a teenager so they don't find interest in it. it can demotivate the child and how they interact with people their age, specially if they're autistic, since they already feel left out so not knowing how to engage in playing with other children makes that feeling even worse

but that's at least how it was for me and again its just a headcanon .... i make up a lot of headcanons based on that flashback sequence alone for some reason

Rigid adherence to routines, ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behaviors, and extreme resistance to change (such as insistence on taking the same route to school, eating the same food because of color or texture, repeating the same questions); the individual may become greatly distressed at small changes in these routines.

when bryce gets sent to the plane he shows this a lot. everyone talks about how they want to go back to their lives but bryce specifically talks about his routine . he's so pretentious about it its funny

when liam wants him to go to bradley with him he does this again also

most of the confronts bryce has with liam in s2 can be linked back to his resistance to change

Increased or decreased reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment, such as not reacting to pain, strong dislike to specific sounds, excessive touching or smelling objects, or fascination with spinning objects.

i went over this one on the analysis, bryce gets stimulated very easily by sensory inputs and the smallest things startle him (ill include the gifs i used again because i find them silly

(ik on the second one he was like mutilated or whatever but compare his reaction to liam's . and also to amelia's after literally shattering to death)

he also has a sensory related phobia so

kinda unrelated but i think it would be funny if the "not reacting to pain" bit was attributed to humanized bryce based on how object bryce is like. made out of plastic. and he was ok after falling from a pole since that makes his resistant

cheesy said he didnt intend to write any of the characters as autistic (but doesnt mind if people see them that way) but bryce is still very coded to me..... maybe its just because i always try to find a way to relate my favorite characters' experiences to my experiences lol

[byfulcrums]

Fuck it. Invincible Tumblr

💥 explosionsbaby Follow

Wake up to see the aliens attacking again. God fucking damn it.

❤️ justamonstergirl Follow

Imagine how the aliens feel after seeing you

💥 explosionsbaby Follow

Get better insults. You won't be insulting anyone that way

❤️ justamonstergirl Follow

Nahhh. Don't need to. You already humiliate yourself every time you open your mouth

💥 explosionsbaby Follow

Your entire existence is an insult

☪️ superherofan Follow

i forget that superheroes have social media and regularly use it.... invincible has Tumblr holy shit

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

Boo.

☪️ superherofan Follow

OMG??

#HI MR INVINCIBLE SIR #I SWEAR ALL MY A/B/O FICS WERE WRITTEN OUT OF LOVE

🌙 artemislover Follow

Can't believe I have to say this, but can you guys please stop making Omni-Man x Immortal theories?!?!

Ik you think the idea of them having been romantically involved is funny, but c'mon, people

It is true that there should be more openly queer superheroes, but the fact that there are people who genuinely believe they fucked is wild...

Besides, we have to stop following the lives of superheroes that closely. They deserve to get some privacy too! They're still people

Also, didn't Omni-Man once mention his wife?? And son?? Shipping him w a man when he's clearly straight and in an established relationship is stupid

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

These are all great points but they've definitely fucked

🌙 artemislover Follow

INVINCIBLE?????

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

Godddddd. My parents just do not know what privacy is, PLEASE STOP HAVING SEX WHEN I MIGHT BE HOME... please you're killing me

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

Wait, shit, wrong blog...

🌭 hotdog Follow

shocking revelation: invincible has parents

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

??? Of course I have parents. Where'd you think I came from?

🌭 hotdog Follow

Honestly i thought you were from mars

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

from MARS????

#i'm not martian??? i don't even look martian #do i look martian?

💃 thedancingquinn Follow

ATOM EVE LIKES MY FAVORITE BAND????

🚫 ohgodpleaseno Follow

really? How do you know?

💃 thedancingquinn Follow

Okay quick storytime

My friends and I wanted to go to see this band live for a LONG time, so we saved up money for years until we could finally afford it, right?

Well, the day we finally get to see them live, I look up and I see Atom Eve, just. Flying there. Above the crowd

She was singing, apparently very loudly and she looked like she was having sm fun. She saw me and waved!!! Atom Eve!!!! Waved at me!!!!!!!

🧬 atomevesss☑️☑️ Follow

:)

💃 thedancingquinn Follow

WAIT R YOU THE ACTUAL ATOM EVE

🧬 atomevesss☑️☑️ Follow

Yeah. Check my Insta, there's a link to this blog!

💃 thedancingquinn Follow

AFKFHFHFHFJDJDJDJDDJDHFHSUEUEJEJ

#ATOM EVE TALKED TO ME!!!!!!

🤖 officialrobot Follow

Today, Monster Girl told me to download this app and create a blog — I did not think it was necessary, but she insisted.

I decided to listen to her. She was very persuasive.

I will be sharing things about my day, as she has told me to do. Expect to hear from me after this.

👀 eyaseyaseays Follow

you really think we're gonna believe you're the real Robot?? C'mon.

‼️ notafurryyet Follow

Dude, RP exists. Let people live their lives in peace

❤️ justamonstergirl Follow

This is so funny

‼️ notafurryyet Follow

That's... The real monster girl. Replying to a fake Robot post...

Dude I think he's real

🎉 partyshitter Follow

The new Guardians are a fucking shit show. Are we seriously meant to believe they're going to protect us? Really??

💥 explosionsbaby Follow

Oh Id like to see YOU almost get killed every single fucking day without one fucking break only for asholes like you to shit on us like that. We almost die every single day!!! Were the ones geting our hands dirty not you

🤖 officialrobot Follow

I'd* assholes* We're*

💥 explosionsbaby Follow

Your supposed to be with me in this one

🤖 officialrobot Follow

You're*

☪️ somanykates Follow

The Immortal kinda... 👀

💥 explosionsbaby Follow

WHAT

💥 explosionsbaby Follow

I cant believe she cheated on me... what a bitch

🧬 atomevesss Follow

😐

☪️ somanykates Follow

We're going to have a fucking talk, Rex.

💥 explosionsbaby Follow

Shit

🍐 shrinkshrek Follow

You had this one coming buddy

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

The fact that Miles Morales canonically reads JJK, though...

🔫 shootmeplease Follow

INVINCIBLE LIKES MARVEL?? AND JJK???

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

Why is everyone always surprised when I like something? I don't get it

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

:(

🧬 atomevesss☑️☑️ Follow

I cannot have just found out you're still alive through Tumblr...

🧬 atomevesss☑️☑️ Follow

Seriously though. Are you okay now? I know you're not mentally, after the whole Chicago thing w your dad, but at least physically?

🌟 notsovinciblenow Follow

I'll survive, I guess

💔 thisishowtobeah Follow

INVINCIBLE?? It is such a relief to see you're still here after the whole Chicago ordeal Mr Invincible

📸 definitelyinsanebaby Follow

Yeah maybe don't remind him of that rn??

💔 thisishowtobeah Follow

OH SHIT I'M SO SORRY

#I AM SO SO SO SORRY #omg i hope you're doing good mr invincible :(((

[snail-migraine]

You know I was reading your platonic yandere Malleus story and I thought what if the punishment made the Reader realize how actually suffocating it is to be around Malleus and servants constantly? It's kind of inverse of Malleus, who was always didn't like being alone whereas his child realize how liberating it is to be free from royalty and royal expectations. The child, of course, struggled with cooking and cleaning at first, but slowly got the hang of it and realized this is the most fun and freeing they ever had.

Reader when Malleus tells them that their punishment is over and they can interact with him, the servants and act like a royal now:

Y'know, I like this idea. It gives the story a bit more ~angst~ and I think the yandere tab here on tumblr could use even more of that. Thank you for the asks!

-

Anon-Yan 💌‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

Platonic Yandere Malleus

Part 2

Your punishment itself lasted months, almost years, but Malleus could only bear to keep you in that rickety old tower for so long.

Until he decided to take you out make you "prove" to him that you changed.

You didn't really have to prove to him much, all had to do was give a half-hearted "Sorry" and he would've forgiven you.

Though it wasn't like you didn't change during your time up in the tower. You'd like to think you actually changed quite a bit.

Given that you're not some Manipulative little shit anymore, the servants would also agree.

Due to your time in the Tower you grew to be very self-dependent. You learned how to cook, clean, solve your problems all by yourself. Without the help of your "Loving Father".

You also got alot quieter, having spent the previous months in isolation. You basically unlearned any and all social skills that you had previously built.

While Malleus expected you to change, that being the whole point of him doing this, he didn't expect such a big change in personality.

He thought you were going to remain his precious little baby, who cried and hugged their father. Begging him for forgiveness.

His little baby that thrived off of his attention. Going so far as to become a little troublemaker for it.

Instead you're....this

Don't get him wrong, he still loves you. But where is his precious baby? Now instead of following him around like a lost puppy constantly you stay in your room for hours on end, barely making it out to have supper with him and the rest of the family before slipping away and back into your room again.

What are you even doing in there for so long? He doesn't get it.

He also learns that you've shooed off any and all servants that come to attend to you. While it is good progress for you being a good royal and not needing servants, Malleus doesn't know if he can handle you growing up so fast.

Or at all for that matter.

"Dear, I'm worried about you. You've been hauling yourself up in this dark and dreary room of yours for the past month! And not once have you come out to spend some bonding time with me and the rest of the family. Was I too harsh punishing you? If I was please tell me! If you're upset or angry at me for what I did please just say something, anything!"

Malleus gets desperate when he realizes that you aren't a baby anymore. You don't need him to survive anymore. The fact alone makes him want to cry.

But then again wasn't that how this all started? With you acting like a bratty two year old and needing to be taught how to be both an adult and a royal.

So why then..why are these feelings so conflicting?

Yes, he got what he wanted. You're acting like an actual royal now.

However you barely even speak to him. Your own father!

He can't wrap his head around his own emotions, it isn't until you come up to him and announce your plan of leaving the castle to go venture the world all on your own does he finally snap.

He doesn't even listen to your reasoning he just grabs you by your wrist yet again and take you to your 'new bedroom.'

A room right next his, only accessible to him.

This is the only way he can keep you in line.

This is the only way he can make sure the Draconia name is upheld.

This is the only way he can keep you at his side.

Forever.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this, my child, but one day you'll understand. You'll finally see things the way I do. But until then I'll just have to keep you here and give you all the love I could ever give."

"Sweet dreams, little one."

[h-sleepingirl]

Hi sleepingirl! I don't ever use tumblr so this account is totally empty, but I wanted to message anyways. I spent a lot of 2023 coming to terms with having a deeply rooted mind control fetish that's all intertwined with my experience of sex, intimacy and even a sort of weird spirituality I don't yet understand.

I really liked listening to your old podcast and honestly, some of the bits where you talked about dealing with the shame of being wired in this weird way and how it's impacted your life was so relieving to hear - I guess it's knowing that i'm not the only one like this. I felt incredibly seen! I don't understand why this is such a big thing for me but it is.... accepting it is really hard but it's been worth it for me :)

I used to talk to the small handful of people I could find online who Got It about the weird intersection of hypnosis and sexuality and spirituality (I think Spider/chelicerate was one? She said she knows you and recommended I talk to you about this, I believe, but it's been a while and I don't really remember now). This was around the time I was becoming slightly jaded with some aspects of hypnokink and trying to learn from the material that existed and seeing how many people don't seem to care about the sheer depth that there is to all this that I don't even know how to put into words. I guess... I don't know honestly It's hard to talk about this without sounding totally crazy but I remember reading some of your posts about hypnosis being magic, actually and how that's impacted some of your own understandings of spirituality and I really wanted to ask you about what that's been like because I feel like in some way I've had a tiny peek behind the same veil so to speak and it's really crazy feeling like there's nobody else who understands ;;

I definitely can relate with a lot of what you’re saying! I’m glad the podcast has been a comfort for you. There are a lot of us who are this way, although nowadays as hypnokink gets more popular I run into way more people who are not fetishists but instead just picking it up as a fun kink. Which is fine! But it’s definitely different. But if anything, hypnosis as a sex act is more socially acceptable now than it ever has been! It’s heading towards mainstream (and certainly feels that way in queer/trans spaces).

I resisted it for a long time but hypnosis is inseparable from my spirituality at this point. There is just too much overlap. The philosophy I have learned from one innately affects the other. I just wrote a piece about being a living doll at an erotic hypnosis con and I was thinking about a famous Jewish philosopher during it. This week I went to artsy Torah study and wrote a small drash/poem based on my experience being hypnotic/erotic art (not overtly). It’s all connected.

I’m Jewish, but have a lot of history in Earth-based spirituality, witchy stuff, etc that will probably never go away for me. Magical traditions (new and old ones) always seem to include trance practices, but rarely give it anything but surface level attention. And “hypnosis” tries to distance itself from that and put itself into a scientific box. The overlap is painfully obvious, but each discipline wants to deny it, and label their techniques in such a way that they can’t be used in any other context. And like you say, it all sounds crazy -- because hypnosis sounds crazy, and we live in a very rationalist world where if you talk authentically about spirituality you are labeled as crazy too. 

The thing is I don’t think there’s a good way to marry the two except to tailor both to your own views and needs. I have read books that try to make a magical framework out of hypnosis and vice versa and they feel like they are very frustrating to me. I am not comfortable with any single model or framework of esotericism/spirituality nor of hypnosis -- I need freedom to move through multiple perspectives. I am also not comfortable blindly synthesizing things that I don’t understand or learn the background of. So it’s really this big DIY journey of trying to understand what I believe about a) the world/God/etc, and b) human psyche/intimacy/relationships.

I think there’s some very obvious stuff where the two overlap -- I may have talked before about feeling some sort of indescribable divine feeling in deep hypnosis, or encountering difficult-to-explain occurrences during play. I don’t talk about that stuff mostly because it’s very personal and I have no vested interest in convincing other people this stuff is real when I don’t even fully believe it all myself. I also don't think those kinds of experiences are where the real hypnosis/spirituality overlap is. But I think that sanitizing hypnotic experiences and saying they MUST be explainable by rational means is disingenuous and limiting. I don’t think we should go around saying hypnosis is literally spirit possession or something. But we should be open to the idea that people are having experiences that feel like they defy reality, and yes you can use psychology as a model to describe that but it’s just that -- an imprecise model. This is another case where I think it’s critical to be able to hold multiple models.

Personally, for me this means I need to release the impulse to find “The Objective Truth” and instead engage in what feels like radically human experience -- hypnosis is deeply human, spirituality is deeply human. Science is human too, and I respect it, but the denial or obsessive rationalizing of subjective experience is not what I want out of my human life. I have been through a lot of spiritual models/spaces in my life and the only constant is that I feel like I am not sure -- and that’s what defines my spirituality. It’s the “not knowing” or curiosity towards the world, rather than trying to explain everything away. We know the mechanics of why the wind blows, but a gust out of nowhere still makes my hair stand on end and makes me think “Wow.” That’s actually an overlap with hypnosis: Erickson hypnotized people by telling them that they didn’t have to know anything in trance -- the opposite of our “normal” lives.

Anyways, I hope any of this is interesting to you or what you were asking about lol

[trans-axolotl]

Do you know of DIY psych meds or any writings/info on it, DIY meds in a similar way to DIY HRT, cause I noticed you can buy some psych meds on some of the same shops you source diy hrt, I haven't found any thing on it but I figured its just not a very popular topic because being forced on meds is usually a more pressing issue, the legal grey-ness of buying "prescriptions" with out an offical prescription, and the if-y effectiveness of a lot of psych meds but I feel like I can't be the only one who's ever thought about it

so i don't really have anything I can link to because most of what i know about this is what i've learned from my experiences with DIY HRT distro. and so there's a lot of stuff that I only feel comfortable talking about vaguely on tumblr or other public facing social media.

long story short: there are already some DIY HRT collectives out there that are also distributing psych meds in a similar way. not going to name specific names for obvious reasons, but there's around 3 or 4 DIY hrt collectives i could name in the northeast US who are already doing this. there are some challenges with distributing psych meds that are slightly different than distro for DIY HRT. part of it is due to the need to be able to keep up an ongoing supply of psych meds that might cause withdrawal. if people are relying on you as a supplier for psych meds that can cause life-threatening withdrawal if you're off of them, that is a much more severe consequence then temporarily being unable to supply someone with hrt. and so that might impact the resources needed to be able to offer a consistent supply. i think another challenge is the lack of easily accessible information about psych drugs and how they actually work in our bodies.

and like--i think about psych drugs the way i think about all drugs. they're substances that are going to have both desired and undesired effects. that is going to vary from person to person. and everyone has the right and autonomy to make those decisions for themselves, regardless of their diagnosis or whether they are seeking "treatment" or "healing" or whether it's just for fun or connection for any fucking reason. so i think it is really good and important to find ways for people to access psych drugs outside of psychiatry.

and at the same time, i also think that in the current climate, where so many people are forced on psych drugs against their will, where so much misinformation is purposefully spread by psychiatry, where so many of the undesired effects of psych drugs are hid from people, it also feels important to be able to share accurate and helpful information about how psych drugs work and what to expect, as well as information about dosages, withdrawal, tapering, etc. so i think that anyplace that is sourcing and supplying psych drugs does have a responsibility to make sure that they do know that information and can help their community find and share that kind of information.

in terms of practical information, it sounds like you're already probably familiar with how to find sources online. all i'll say on tumblr is that if you're familiar with how to use tails and tor for browsing that it's not super hard.

it's not the exact same focus, but Four Thieves Vinegar Collective has a lot of projects for different types of autonomous healthcare.

Inner Compass Initiative is not a perfect website but does have a lot of info on psych med dosages, tapering, effects, etc.

there's some other zines i'll try to find in my room and take photos of at some point if i'm able to.

biggest takeaways for me is that it always comes back to autonomy and informed consent, and figuring out ways to make that possible in our communities outside of psych authority is something that feels important and possible to me!

[jesuistrestriste]

The other posts before just kink shaming people. Calling people weirdos and creeps and that the authorities should be called and some how writing men squirting, "because its not biologically possible" is in the same category as well like damn have abit of whimsy

helloo !

so i guess a user who follows me, or used to follow me, is posting on their acc snippets of my work and talking about how im weird and gross (as well as some other unspecified challengers writers) bc i wrote about ‘puppy’ stuff and ‘men squirting’. they blurred out my user but my writing was directly referenced.

they basically likened the puppy play stuff to sexualizing real animals, and said that it was also creepy to write about men squirting bc it’s not ‘biologically possible’

i don’t wanna make this into a big deal, bc it’s genuinely not, but i’m responding to it to hopefully give this individual some clarification and also to defend the users who actually enjoy this type of kink content (bc i do too)

so. first of all — puppy play. i, for one, in the particular drabble they screenshotted, do not have the reader treating art like an actual dog. the reader only calls art ‘puppy’ and he is submissive. those are literally the only two things involved that are similar to puppy play. however, many people enjoy/write about other more direct aspects of puppy play, like collaring and leashing and etc, and that does NOT mean they like sexualizing real animals. it is NOT bestiality. i’m going to assume that the user in question who likened it to bestiality is not informed on what puppy play actually is/represents, and just took the concept of calling someone ‘puppy’ = sexualizing dogs and ran with it. that’s definitely not what it is, and i certainly was not writing it that way. for many, puppy play is simply about the power dynamics of it all. do i enjoy puppy play in its entirety? no, not really (i like certain bits and pieces), but i respect those who do. it also goes without saying that i do not advocate for or support the sexualization of real animals in any way shape or form ..? that’s disgusting.

— more info below the cut —

second of all — squirting. men squirting is possible, just the same as how women squirting is possible. if you don’t believe me, look it up on pornhub lol; it’s definitely possible. to my knowledge, the anatomical/bodily processes that allow someone to squirt are the exact same ones involved in. well. peeing. like. if you can pee, you have the anatomy necessary to be able to squirt. i’m mid-writing this and i can’t believe im talking in depth about what squirting is and how it works. help. but yea, is squirting = pee ? no. no, it’s not (controversial lol). but even if it was, some people are into that. no need to yuck someone else’s yum. you’re entitled to your opinion though. if you don’t enjoy it/understand it and think it’s ‘creepy’, that’s cool too ! idc—it’s your life! do what you want !

third of all — i read their post and they also talked about how it’s weird to write about puppy!stuff because some users (i don’t know if they were talking about me in this instance or just some writers on challengers tumblr in general) are writing about ‘real men’ and that these men should be ‘calling the authorities’. i know for me, im not writing about mike faist in a puppy play context. im writing about art donaldson. a fictional man. and i promise you, art donaldson will not be reading my stuff. and for that matter, neither will mike faist. that man wants nothing to do with social media, let alone tumblr (rip to his tumblr era though).

bottom line, kink shaming is not cool. it’s not fun, it’s not kind, it’s not cute, it’s not very demure.

some people use kinks as an escape from harsh aspects of their reality like past trauma, etc. or to process those traumas. that being said, you are 1000% allowed to not like something. that is your business ! but posting about someone’s work and making grotesque claims about their character and what they stand for based on smut writing is very odd. i do not appreciate it !

i am in no way trying to attack/hate on the person who made the posts, but i think it’s important to try to address stuff like this and educate those who may be confused or misinterpreting. to the user who made the posts: i hope you have a good day, and i hope this clears things up ! if you see this and want to talk more about it, my dms are open. all love.

UPDATE: i was just informed that the user in question used to write for (tw) school shooters and apparently cleared all evidence of it from their account except for some lingering tags.

i take it all back ! ! as someone who has experienced the effects of a school shooting + has been in a uni community targeted and affected by an act of gun violence, that is absolutely disgusting, and you can rot ! seek therapy ! :)

[sassysnakedemon]

Sorry - it's been a while

So, I've been missing for a while. I had to take a break from socials of all kinds (although, tbh, I really only have tumblr and Ao3). There's been a lot of stuff happening. Trump getting re-elected was just the first brick in the wall (enjoy the Pink Floyd reference, if you like). I've been going through deep clinical depression, which is not unusual for me, but a real stop sign for social activity. I can cope, but only with a very basic amount of social activity, which includes 'real' relationships only, as those make my paycheck come through, where social media relationships do not put ramen on my table.

This sounds bleak, but on the plus side, prioritizing my real world activities has netted me a side gig that pays a hundo an hour for teaching the elderly to play the ukulele. That sounds like a joke, but it really isn't! And it's uniquely fun!!

I've also had to divest all of my investments that were made in the US, and transfer the funds to my bank up here in Canada - that took several days, and I was making sure to make it happen before the Inauguration took place. Luckily, I was able to make that happen, but I have a bunch of work to do now to make sure I can make some good investments in Canada instead. I would surely love to invest so properly that I actually become wealthy, and then I can start giving back in a really big way to the various communities that I so desperately want to support. But that's kinda first world problems, so I understand if you don't care about that! (I mean, my real dream is to become like Michael Sheen and just give up everything to help the people around me, and only keep that which I really need to live - unfortunately, with inflation and everything, what I have now is barely what I need to live for the next couple of years - and again, first world problems, but I have some plans - that don't include crypto - that might actually make it possible for me to turn what little I have into something big that could actually be life changing for the world around me)

On a far more personal note, I've finally made the decision (at the ripe old age of almost 48) to finally transition to male. I wanted to, like 30 years ago, but the LGB community was really unfair to trans people back then, so I spent the last almost 30 years trying so hard to be femme, when that's not what I am. I'm going for top surgery, as soon as I can lose enough weight to make it look good (I'm not enough overweight to have a problem with surgery, but enough that I wouldn't be happy with the results), and then we're on the road. If anyone wonders, my name now is Ezra - partly a cultural thing, and partly a Good Omens fan thing (if you know, you know), and I've gotten approval from everyone - friends, mother (and that was the hardest one, friends were all like 'yeah, we knew', but mom is a bit difficult) and best of all, my husband, who said 'I'm not much of a boob man anyway' in answer to my revelation. He also said that he couldn't live without me, no matter who, or what I was. That's something special right there! The plus is that I would be a gay man after transition anyway - never been really attracted to women in the first place, just didn't want to be one. So, I'm still wildly attracted to my husband of 20 years (this year in November - on Guy Fawkes Day, no less), but now I'm coming at the attraction as the man I've always been, rather than the woman I've been cosplaying for way too long. That's something, and it's been a big thing eating at my mind and soul for a long time. It's been keeping me from being completely open with everyone, and I apologize for that. But I had to wrestle with this particular demon one last time before I could rejoin the world.

I've also had walking pneumonia for the last month and a half, which does NOT make it easy to do anything, so I've been avoiding anything which isn't strictly necessary to do. I'm starting to recover though, so I will try harder now to rejoin 'all y'all', to make an appropriate Texasism, as I lived there for enough time to pick up the local jargon.

Suffice it to say that I will try harder to be a better friend to the friends I've made here, but give me a minute - I'm still finding my feet. And I've had a bit of trouble with the GO fandom, as I am finding it hard right now to hyper-focus on it when I've got so much else going on.

Can I say that the world sucks right now? Can I say to all of my friends here, and all of the friends that I'm yet to make, that I feel you, and will protect you? I am really feeling a sort of way, and it's hard to deal with. I wish the troubles were over, and that we could all sing together in fields of green - that we could love each other, even when we don't always agree. I would give anything, including the blood in my veins, for that future.

Sorry for the ramble - meds are partly to blame, but so is my depression - and my planning for a future I cannot see. I want to be engaged, but I'm finding it difficult. I want to be present for you, but that may not always be possible. I'm trying though, and I haven't forgotten any of the friendships I've made here - I'm just trying to be a better version of me before I come back and interact with everyone again!

@missunderstoodlyrics, @naturallyteal, @isiaiowin, @ilikeblue, @inezrable, @copperplatebeech,@phoen1xr0se, @di-42

[tisabelm]

hawks headcanons

in a relationship or just in general

note : i am actually am in love with him (also im new to tumblr so not to muchh)

1 .his wings are super sensitive to the touch, especially if he really likes you

2. he's TOTALLY got a love language of physical touch, he's probably a hugger (only with people he likes ofc). wrapping his wings around you as well as his arms.

3. i imagine he's not the best at comforting when it comes to helping, he asks more questions like, 'are you okay', 'do you need water', etc. over and over, mainly prioritizing your mental state rather than giving advice.

4. if you're trying to make a decision that probably isn't the best, he will try to stop you. but if you are being superrr stubborn then i bet he would just give up and support your actions fully though saying that its not a good idea

5. most of the time blowing up your phone, seeing if you're doing okay, asking if you need anything while he's on patrol or what not.

6. most def looks at edits of himself on social media and has a high ego

along with that, he most likely checks himself in his phone camera, or mirrors while walking past them (smiling at that just by imagining it)

7. why do i feel like if you called his name and he turned around super fast and then hitting you in the face with his wings, he would LAUGH in your face

8. leaves his feathers in your pants pocket, purse, bag, just to make sure you're safe

9. as well as a big softie!!! when he's away from his friends and he's just alone with you, he will be super clingy with you. snuggling in ur neck while cuddling on top of you, going up behind you while ur cooking and wrapping his wings around you, with his arms around your waist

GUYS IF YOU WANT MORE PLEASE ASK? this was super fun to make not gonna lie, also i wanna take like fanfic requests because i would'nt mind writing oneshots or things in that nature, just askkk

(when i get more used to tumblr i will most def try<3)

[vvh0adie]

watching my friends leave tumblr is really sad

you literally can't win

at this point the writer's strike should just be a cultural movement

like ppl are writing for FREE and you're complaining about turn out rate and shit

we have lives and some of us (HELL ALL OF US) have some form of mental illness, so we can't be fucking cogs all day and churn out fics.

writing is suppose to be therapeutic and writers want to share that with you to ease the tension of this hellscape we live in

but some of these readers and even fellow writers are taking it too far with the bullying

like its mean and nasty. you don't know what someone is going thru.

instead of asking for updates how about check and see if your writer is mentally stable to do so. that right there is a booster, to have someone say "are you okay?"

and then the whole accusations of favoring a certain member/character. if that person is my muse or safe space then of course imma write for them. most solo writers i see don't even talk bad about other people. its a SOLO account. think of it as a shrine blog of writing if that helps. they're not there to trash, just share their writing for other's who might also share the same muse.

then you have readers who can't separate fiction from reality. just because someone writes a character with irl people faceclaimed onto them doesnt mean they actually think that person would be or do those things irl. i'll be the first to say that i only gave my characters bts faces cuz thats who im attracted to and they're who i imagine would be casted to play my characters.

then IN THE YEAR OF 2023 we still have ppl making fun of their peers writing and also THE FACT THAT ENGLISH MIGHT NOT BE THEIR FIRST LANGUAGE? that's nasty asf. majority of us dont even speak 'proper' english as our first language no way. you only shooting yourself in the foot. don't act like you dont have beta readers... like what are yall on?

and anybody who gets on THAT BLOG behind anon is an opp. not just to the writing community but in how you interact with the world all together. yall don't know how to talk to people anymore? it may have started as a place for critique and accountability but no one is bringing receipts or critical thinking anymore. its mainly for drama and not rehabilitation. yall serious scare me in how we'd see the reality of social change applied to the real world. like i'd be more scared to let yall around the prisoners with minor offenses cuz yall act like its the end of the world and that change cant happen. yall give nobody room to change ignorant stances but ignore the real egregious shit because you honestly dont have the bandwidth to take on actual fascist views.

also the plagiarism has got to stop too. if you need writing resources just ask. but practice makes perfect. so you're gonna have to write yourself. you may not like your writers voice but you will feel shitty in the long run when you don't feel like its you putting those words on the paper. it literally just prolongs your inferiority. make something you're proud of and don't hurt your fellow writers. we went thru the process just like you. we earned it. and most of us aren't gatekeepers, we will help you.

like its really tuff being on here sometimes. cuz if you not being hounded by readers its your own community praying on your down fall.

we have to do better.

[adelaides-hall]

politely batting my eyelashes about the astra inclinant tumblr drama

Oh god. If you have more specific questions, let me know, but:

The problems would vary a bit depending on point in canon. ALSO LIKE IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING EVERYTHING BELOW IS NOT CANON AND DOES NOT HAPPEN FOR VARIOUS REASONS ETC. the foremost reason being there’s no reason why they’d all be forced to Social Media, but if they had to —

General problems: Saint drama. The Saints are mostly a bunch of drama-mongering terrible people of varying shades and they would sic their followers on each other and do petty vague blogging like a bunch of middle schoolers. Saint Solis would not participate only because he cannot be bothered. He would have an inbox full of anon hate messages he didn’t read. He would have posted like one single time, only because he had to. Saving this comment here:

He would not know or care that he got meme-ified. It would almost certainly be one sentence and would be dry or snippy as fuck.

Disciples would blog like teenagers because most of them *are* teenagers, so the usual problems would apply. Caladia specifically would be a fuckin tumblr powerhouse because she is into like everything and has lots of snappy rebuttals to The Discourse. River as a teenager would only reluctantly engage with fandom content (or lgbt content) because he was a little shy about it at that stage.

Apostle Solis would use his almost exclusively for reblogging #certified bug posts from his students. I think he’d get a lot of cute asks from his disciples, but they’re nosy, so they’d also try to anon probe personal info out of him with no luck.

(He already has an official communication channel elsewhere for conveying updates relevant to class, etc. but that would all remain on an official communication platform the station controls. So that part wouldn’t be different from canon.)

He would maybe sometimes make little personal posts, but of a very generic and nice variety. Photo of his tea or something. Photo of the sticker someone gave him. Solis is not evading his inherent teacher vibes. Saint Solis would be like, legally obligated to look at what he posts lest his Apostle embarrass him, and he consequently would think that everything the Apostle posted is asinine but wouldn’t be able to do anything about this because he’s not technically doing anything wrong. Privately really mad about it when Zihrun (on THE most bland professional account you can possibly imagine) always likes the Apostle’s posts. (He’s not special. The Commander would just Like all the higher staff’s posts for optics.)

I made my friend go NOOOOOO BABY!!!!!!!!!! ): about this part but like, plot-element specific things:

> For the sake of Fun Pretend Scenario, if Tumblr existed on both sides of the veil and could connect (perhaps unbeknownst to most people or something idk), Ch 11.5 River would spend several weeks post-recovery agonizing over what to do before finally, finally working up the courage to look at Solis’ Tumblr, only to find it’s exactly the same as usual and that he has not said even the vaguest word about Going Through It. The “maybe something went wrong and he didn’t want to do this to me” -> “maybe he actually doesn’t care about me at all” teeter-totter would be so much worse. The already-upset and traumatized teenager does not need more reasons to overthink himself into a crying mess. (He would then proceed to swear off social media for the next two years, which is probably for the best.)

> ~19ish year old River and onward would have a new, remade account under a different handle and he would use it for collecting cute mlm fanart (even of stuff he’s not familiar with) and talking about stuff he’s reading, etc. Maybe would also reblog moodboards and nice quotes/poetry sometimes. Post-canon would be much the same except he would ALSO post nauseating sappy TLDR about how much he loves his significant other (whose identity he does not disclose at all because uhhh technically not allowed). Would tag those relatable romantic relationship text posts with “#him 💚💜” or something similar.)

Solis never likes/interacts with anything on his account in the case of the post-canon stuff (for plausible deniability reasons), but every time River catches him scrolling through it he’s like /chinhands “do you like my posts about you? 💕” and delights in the flustered reaction this nets him.

[cedarnommer]

Queer music with trans undertones.

That's a topic that I've only breached recently. Call me a little baby queer, but I never knew the wealth of cool music done by very cool people before this. There's a wide range of genres and different types of lyrics to go along with it. In this post, I'll focus down on music that I personally like. It may not be for you and that's perfectly understandable.

Glass Beach is a very cool band and their first album, while unrefined, has 2 songs in particular which I'm obsessed with.

Bedroom community is such a fun song and really holds true to much of my life experiences throughout my life. Because I live in an environment that does its best to isolate queer folk, that meant that the only way I could explore my gender identity and my sexual preferences was through the internet. And while not the point of the song, the song really gets me pumped up to be an annoying blasphemous little gremlin to all the nasty christo-fasc out there.

This song brings me to tears every time. The lyrics are just insanely personal and I think many trans femmes could connect with this song. Being misgendered by your peers and especially your family. Needing a desperate escape. Tackling with adulthood. The little holiday feeling of getting your HRT. It's much. It's so much. I'm bursting into tears even as I type this out. This song is so powerful. I can't help it! It's a song about me! Just for me and me alone! It's so personal aa!

While this song doesn't bring the same reaction from me, the lyrics and the melody is so melancholic and it's such a wonderful song. One of their later and more "mature" works as a band. It's great.

Now I'll do some randomly assorted different artists. I haven't explored their music as deeply as Plastic Beach. But these songs are a highlight for me. And I'm usually a really chaotic listener anyway.

This song is simple but it rocks. While I'm a gender conforming and very woman identifying trans femme, I'm also aware of the absurdity of the gender binary. And I think that even someone like me is inherently confusing and terrifying to the social systems that uphold this nonsensical binary. This song is a good way to remind ourselves how absurd and pointless our divide between "males" and "females" is not based around chromosomes or other confused markers but purely on cultural indicators of identity.

This song's lyrics are wonderful. It kind of reflects my recent posts on Tumblr and my frustration on weirdo internet people obsessed with my genitals and being creeps. Because bigotry is creepy and weird. The chorus of this song is especially really good and I find myself humming it along sometimes.

I'm not into ska, but I really enjoy this song in particular from this genre. The lyrics are fun and the theme of breaking apart and mixing gender identities is fun. It's a fun song. Because once gender stops being used as an authoritarian tool to enforce a binary, it can be fun finding the way to express yourself.

This is some of the stuff I've discovered recently. I think the main reason I'm making this post is a bit more of a serious and grim topic that I've touched upon a bit. I live in the Balkans and I live in a city that's infamous for street fights and toxic masculinity. You can imagine that being a trans femme, even if I pass well, still sets me up for a bunch of dangers. My country's politicians are conservative enough to the point that any idea of rights to LGBT folk isn't even considered, with concepts of queerness being considered a "threat" to the "traditional" family structure. Of course, all of this is a bunch of nonsense.

But it means that spaces for queer people are difficult to find. Apparently people congregate on Facebook, but Facebook where I live at is essentially Twitter. I'm not interested in torturing myself with that. That's left me feeling very isolated. I've recently actually tried to join some local Discord servers, but they were overwhelmingly dominated by cis gay men that seem to only be interested in sex. That's just not for me.

I think listening to music like this helps me feel less alone and more hopeful for the future. If anyone out there is dealing with the same loneliness I am, please find music that reflects your feelings. You'll feel a bit better about the world, knowing that you're not alone and your ideas aren't as foreign as you think.

You're wonderful.

You're valid.

And you're rad as heck.

Queer, trans, non-binary, non-conforming and any fun mixture of sexual orientation. You're the best!