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thurio-edau · 1 month

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SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

yup, him for part two. funny thing despite Aiden being my favourite character I'm most excited for the other three posts I'll make, especially the last one. there's a lot to unpack here so

also im writing this with a migraine pls read it-

Part 2: Aiden Clark

ah, yes. the obviously-mentally-ill from the start fan favourite Aiden Clark. let's go.

first, I want to start with something I find really important about his character, what makes him heavily mischaracterized in the fandom. the 'psychopath' cliche.

the terms 'psychopath', 'insane' and 'unstable' are often confused with each other due to media stereotypes, such as Aiden here. one, he is not a psychopath. psychopath literally means a self-centered person who lacks sympathy, affection and care; making them far from most other characters in their franchise. their lack of sympathy/empathy often makes them criminalized, here

disturbing content warning, for an example of a psychopath.

let's take Gressil from Homesick for example since a lot of SBG readers also read Homesick. so, here, Gressil is a perfect example of an actual psychopath. his lack of empathy makes him torment others, he's very self-centered. and when asked why he's doing this? he says he was bored. let's look at Aiden here. what does Aiden do when bored? probably dumb ideas or annoy Tyler. not torturing people for fun. Aiden is just a boy who likes thrills, but he has a sense of empathy, care and justice.

you wanna see a psychopathic Aiden?? the canvas is it

(our local Logan hater is publishing the canvas eps go checc beachy out)

but that's him, not our Aiden. canvas does not equal originals y'all

alright, now since we got that cleared out!! firstly, ADHD.

I think everyone in the fandom is already aware that Aiden is ADHD but I'm still going to talk about it just like Ashlyn's autism. Red has also said that she wrote Aiden with ADHD in mind but hadn't canonically confirmed anyone as neurodivergent. let's start with the main symptoms of ADHD, also known as Attention Decifit and Hyperactivity Disorder.

I know about 5 different ADHD people myself and did some research, it probably won't be extremely accurate since I'm not ADHD myself, but I'll try to do whatever I can. first with the AD part, Attention Decifit.

now as seen, he doesn't exactly have any problems with theorizing itself. but the problem is that his attention just goes away easily.

i mean cmon bro was making memes on the job

he tries to do work, but can't. he has a low attention span which makes him not able to concentrate. he can't keep it up for long, he'll get distracted or bored too easily about things that doesn't interest in specially.

it's just distracting. what his attention is on constantly changes, there's more to that after the ADHD part but we're here for now.

the hyperactivity... it's a lot more apparent. but I should explain the insane-unstable thing before that.

insane means that someone's mental health is not in an okay situation, where it prevents the person from thinking normally, acting rationally, very often found together with delusions. the person is seriously mentally ill where it might count as a disability.

unstable, however, where someone is prone to psychiatric problems, has moodswings etc. they're not exactly the most sane person, but they aren't insane either. Aiden here, obviously falls on the unstable side. maybe just a little bit insane if you squint. this will be brought up later too, but it mixed well with his hyperactivity too.

and as we all know, our boy isn't exactly the most stable person. (sorry for the collages, but since there is a tumblr picture limit i have to keep on collaging. yes i learnt from the last time) his hyperactivity mixes with his unstable mindset which makes him incresingly vulnerable to danger- which he likes. from when the first shift happened, he's been really careless about stuff but it's been all about his love for thrill.

and it irritates Tyler, too.

the main subplot about his character is that he's a person of excitement. guess what? ADHD people like the excitement, they like new things, they like the adrenaline and thrill. now, Aiden's main characteristic of being unstable mixed with ADHD makes him an even more reckless person. another thing mixing with the hyperactivity, is boundaries.

this part will mostly be about Ashlyn since the boundary issue only happens with her.

I talked about this on Ashlyn's side on my Ashlyn analysis, now it's time for Aiden's side.

he's really annoying to her at first. Ashlyn is someone with lots of boundaries, like high walls. and who tries to climb them with his dumbass? Aiden of course.

she kept rejecting his efforts to befriend her for some time, until the night they stole the jeep. then she managed to actually bring the walls down, and accept them all into her life. but damn was she blunt.

felt that honestly

and Aiden understands her that night, too.

Ashlyn was hesistant to hug him, yes, he was aware. but she still did which made him realize she was also trying. i have to tell you, people with ADHD and people with autism either have trouble getting along, or go perfectly well. my ADHD sibling for example, I have to push them away for a lot and tell them to lower their voice. but once they remember my boundaries it actually becomes a normal, even pleasant hangout. which, Aiden realizes and tries to get along with. he tries.

seeing his efforts on her boundaries makes something click in her mind. and she starts to be a lot nicer when they hang out in the arcade.

Aiden eventually learns and remembers what she's like and what she loves to do. he already tried to watch her ballet sessions once -got slammed-, he's been to her room where he remembered the mat from and her fighting makes it obvious. I'm sure he knew he'd get cooked by betting that. but he still did,

because he knew it'd interest her. which he succeeded, he saw her smile again. the arcade day went great until Barron and his gang pulled up, but if we ignore that part it all went well. Aiden started to understand and respect her boundaries.

anyways then Tyler fucking dies

he knows that Ashlyn feels guilty. Aiden wants to comfort her through it, but also do it correctly. without going over any boundaries. which makes him really,

really,

really surprised when she responds.

also including this pannel cause its hilarious

here we see that he's still trying. hell, I'm sure he spent minutes thinking if he should come close physically to help her. that's probably why he just nudged her softly before anything else. he's not used to it, he has to conciously make an effort to not cross said boundaries. keeping his voice lower, try to not be so reckless, not doing anything physically close unless she reciprocates. wow how i wish another someone i knew irl tried that hard instead of blaming it on me cOUGH COUGH COUGH

also other small things to include

he's yapping a lot

he has a comically large amount of puzzles in his backpack for one single trip

and sticks his head into lamps for some reason

but that's just Aiden and his little neurodivergent brain for ya.

now the part I wanted to get to the most.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

first, what is Borderline Personality Disorder?

shortened as BPD, borderline is when someone's mood is inconsistent and swinging. think of it's name; the person's mental state is in the border, in the border line, switching up fastly. the most easily understood and common type is when the person goes from a depression to a happy state. but no matter which state they are in and/or go to, one thing stays the same: it is unstable.

one thing about borderline is that it is frequently mixed with bipolar. however bipolar is a neurodivengercy which means it is what someone is born with and cannot be changed. but borderline is obtained later in life. it usually happens with depression. bipolar is much more random and the episodes last longer in comparison. it may last up to hours, and the person's memory might have trouble remembering their episodes. borderline, on the other hand, is a short-lived mood swing.

now here. here's the catch; people with BPD during mood swings can have reckless behaviour, suicidal thoughts -in his case as far as we know, lowered sense of protecting himself- or a loss of understanding danger. sounds familiar?

borderline's recklessness and dangerousness, sometimes self-destructive acts combines with ADHD's love for thrill and excitement, combined with Aiden's own personality all make up for a great condition of instability.

Aiden's behaviour constantly goes crazy, I think his most frequent mood swing might be his normal self (at least, as normal as he could be) to this more maniac way of acting. I noticed it from his eyes, when he's in a more calm-ish normal state his pupils are a bit more dilated. in the pictures above, you can clearly see that he's still in the episode; filled with the adrenaline, the unstable way of thinking.

but, what causes that? surely a mental illness such as borderline doesn't happen on it's own.

right?

cause it didn't.

it never works that way.

but it can get better.

eventually.

but what happened to him?

personally, as much as a large amounnt of people seems to believe it's something like family abuse I don't think so. maybe neglect, maybe withdrawal, maybe maybe. but we've seen his parents. I don't think they would hurt him like that. I can't put any more pictures, but this is the last part anyway. his parents seem to be kind and gentle, despite that picture in his house. I'm thinking the picture was only for the dramatic effect. his parents said that he used to be really calm and quiet during Lily's birthday, and both Aiden and Ben seem comfortable around them. they were happy taking Ben in too, any kind of abusive parent wouldn't do that at least that's what I believe. also there is that Aiden got serious and concerned when he learnt that their parents were also in the facility, most likely worried for his own as you would have thought.

there was a post that I've been trying to find for like half an hour, I commented on it but I can't find the post now. the person talked about their own theory. if I remember correctly it was that when Aiden was depressive as a child, his parents took him to a thrilling activity like the ones he's been talking about (bungee-jumping, skydiving etc.) and the thrill made him actually get excited. which is why his parents allowed him to go even more reckless, because they are aware of how prone their son could be to the depression.

what happened? let's ignore the parents factor. someone can have a loving family and still be traumatized, someone can be taken care of and still feel abandoned, someone can never have confronted a situation they are terrified of.

one of my theories is that, the loneliness. it must get to a child heavily considering children need to not be left alone, but Aiden was. he didn't have any actual friends since they always moved from one place to another from his parents' business, and they might have not had enough time to make for him (which I believe is bullshitting, every child deserves to be taken some time out for. some people quit their jobs entirely for their child.) and be unaware, and that doesn't change that he was still depressed and alone. his depressive state was seemingly before Ben was taken in. now here one thing with borderline, at least from my experience, is faking actions. smiles, laughs, friendships, conversations... almost as if there's two different lives; one fake, and one real. you keep on switching, you keep on swinging between the sides where you're yourself and where you're just mimicking 'normal human behaviour'.

it starts from faking a happy state during their depression, and by time you're faking it it becomes an automatic adition to your personality. to your mind. once it furthers, it becomes the disorder. Aiden we see is always smiling. it becomes a habit that only breaks sometimes. now, I'm not saying his smile is fake- I think his face is literally just stuck like that. it breaks ever so slightly sometimes. fake it till ya make it yanno? that kind of thing. and when he swings from his calm mood to his borderline-d mood, his pupils get small and his smile gets worse. noticably worse. I'll be rereading the series (AGAIN) and this time look at all the small details since Red loves putting them and I love theorizing so

which, wraps up the Aiden thing! im actually really proud of how i could put my thoughts into text which i never could. i'd love any additions because i love other opinions as well.

and you know what? im glad Ash and Ai are out of the place because the rest are what I'm actually looking forward to >:)

...and i should sleep. really.

(wow sorry yall i finished this hours ago and said 'alright reread to make sure its good before sleep' and fell asleep through it lol sorry for 4 hour delay ig)

(leaving for school rn see yall 8 hours later 🫡)

#sbg #sbgblr #sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #schoolbus graveyard #aiden clark #ashlyn banner #sbg aiden #sbg ashlyn

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 5 months

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10 Jikook Fanfictions Part 1

I said I'd make a list before the end of the year and I kept my promise. Now, it's difficult to choose, especially when I have more than 300 bookmarks and unfortunately I also started doing that some year and a half ago. Safe to say, there's probably plenty of good fics I read that are now lost. Anyway, enough with the boring chit chat, here's 10 random jikook fics in no particular order and most likely, several other parts will follow, probably next year 😉

1. Dead in the Water

It's been a couple of years since I read this and honestly, I barely remember much, but what I do know it's that it had an impact on me. Usually fics that have death as a central theme end up resonating with me, but perhaps it's because I've always been attracted to more darker fiction. This one is gritty and there's a lot of pain and I must have cried a lot (those tend to stick in my head)

2. we're holding hands beneath the silver screen

I think this story is taking place in the 90s (you'll see that a lot of the fics I recommend are taking place in the past). I think I ended up reading everything ChimneyCricket wrote, but this one remained a favorite. Coming of age during a summer in Jeju in the 90s. Apart from the theme, it's the writing that made me stick with it.

I'm not the biggest fan of young adult stories. Or better yet, it's not something that I'd go to as a preference. When I do, it's more of an indulgence and thankfully, I found some writers (like this one) who can do a really good job with the genre.

3. Stockwell

Another writer that I've become a big fan of after reading one fic of theirs. And I think it might have been Stockwell that did it for me. I like that it's fanfiction with adult themes for an adult audience. And I also resonate with a lot of the cultural references and themes. I will also admit that this fic leaning into the enemies to lovers trope was a selling point because I'm a sucker for it. I can't help myself.

4. Burn for You

This is a complete self indulgence for me and I embrace it. Just like watching Bridgerton is a guilty pleasure for which I don't actually feel guilty (and the inspo for this fic). This story has everything and I must say the combination of lust, fear of revealing feelings, rumors, proper behavior and hidden romance is a lethal combination!

5. Light of a century

I might have recommended this story before, but it being inspired by Up on Poppy Hill is not just due to the plot, but the writing is able to evoke that studio Ghibli mood. This fic is to be read on a hot weekend afternoon.

6. Map of the Soul

This might be one of the most complex fanfictions I read due to the amount of research needed, but also in the depiction of political contexts and identity politics. Most of all, I like it because as much as relationships are a vital part of the story, there is an entire world surrounding the main characters. Events and other people that have also room to develop and not just remain props that advance the story.

7. Proceed with Caution

I don't know what snatchim did with this fic, but it's the only one I ever reread multiple times and I'll probably do it again in the future. I don't even reread books from my library, let alone fanfics. But Proceed with Caution did it for me. Perhaps it's because of the process of Jungkook inevitably falling for Jimin and even though it's a bad thing considering the context, it's so good. Maybe it's the image of Jimin with a bellybutton ring or maybe because the picture of hot Californian days in the 70s is so vivid, it feels like a nostalgic Paul Thomas Anderson movie.

8. Dishwater World They Said Was Lemonade

The description does not do this story justice because it's so much more than that. It's a canon compliant thriller with really complicated and complex characters and once again, a story meant for adults who understand that it's fiction. Unfortunately, judging by the comment section, a lot of people cannot distinguish betweem real people and characters. For those of you who might be fans of Korean thrillers, this story might be the one for you. It's also one of my favorite jikook fics as well.

9. souvlaki

Need I say more, considering the description? This is a self indulgence as well, but of a different kind. If I happily read tropey fics, I also like the ones that can sound like a uni course. Set during the 1997 FMI crisis in SK, any reader will get familiar with a socioeconomic and political perspective of that time through the eyes of the main characters. If you're only looking for romance, this one is not for you.

10. you wouldn't remember

I think littleflumes might be currently my favorite writer of canon compliant jikook. I think the author really captured their dynamic in its essence and the room left for fiction perfectly fills in the holes left in the last 2 years and up until the present. But what did it for me, not only with this story, but the others in the series as well, is that it's concentrated almost entirely on the two main characters, almost living in a bubble of their own in which their relationship can be explored.

#m thoughts #jikook #jikook fanfic #jikook fanfiction #jikook au #jikook canon compliant #fic rec #bts fanfic

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marciaillust · 2 months

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How long does it take for you to finish drawing?

I'm an artist (beginner) and i unconsciously set unrealistic goals for myself and need a reminder of how long it takes to complete a drawing, Thanks.

Hi! In the context you presented it in, that is a really interesting question, so I'll try to approach it thoroughly. I hope I won't make you roll your eyes too much.

Where to start, where to start... I guess the first thing I should say is that there is a difference between time I spend preforming the action of <drawing>, and the time I spent <working> on a particular piece. The first would be counted in hours, the second one - days. I'm a big believer in slowing things down, and giving things time - going through options, gathering research and references, taking breaks every 1h of sitting and drawing - and seeing things through until I achieve the goal I set at the beginning of the process.

The goals are usually different each time: "quick design", "character exploration", "analysis of an artist's linework and experimenting with the knowledge gained", "creating an aesthetically pleasing image", and so on and so forth. Of course I don't write these down like it's a school assignment, but knowing in the back of my head what I'm actually doing helps me manage my expectations. I also enjoy being conscious of why I create - when I was younger regardless of what I was doing I had the thought "AND IT MUST LOOK GOOD AND PRESENTABLE! BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL LOOK!" ...and I think that obsession is the cancer of creative process.

Since the goals for each picture are different, the time I'll spent on achieving each one will be different as well, because the "satisfactory results" lay in different places. For example, the Marcile sketchpage was created in one afternoon, and took approximately 3 hours. The goal was to play around with a brush that has no opacity forcing my lines to be more decisive. I did that and so it is "finished". There's nothing else I want from it.

On the other hand, the cover of Asterism took about 10 days to create, the goal of which was to make "an aesthetically pleasing cover picture taking colour inspiration from the works of (specific list of artists)". I took my time designing it so that it looks aesthetically pleasing, made sure the anatomy is "correct" (a nebulous statement when it comes to stylised humans), took my time masking, and picking colours, and shading. I wanted it to "look good" to my own eyes so if something was not working I would go back, change it, alter it, move it around... that's the wonderful thing about personal art, you can take as long as you like making something satisfactory.

The funny thing is, with what the Asterism cover actually is (a cellshaded image), it could have been done probably in 4 days by the me 4 years ago. But that person was willing to sit 8-10 hours a day to draw with no breaks, she had little social life, and treated herself as a little circus seal performing tricks so that people clap around her, and the clapping was soooo nice because it meant that people remembered her and she mattered. And it worked for her! For long 10 years! Until her arm gave out, and the reality of never being able to draw again became more tangible than ever, and it's been following her like a fog ever since for the past 4 years. The me today works about 4 hours a day and every hour I take about a 30 minute break. I also don't post half the stuff I draw. There is also another aspect that dictates the speed of creating and that is familiarity with the subject matter. The less you know something, the fast you'll draw it! But as you get to know the intricacies of the process, and see all the building blocks, it will start taking *longer* because you will start accounting for every block. But then you'll eventually get familiar with the blocks and so the time spent on a picture will go down again! The cool yet overwhelming thing about art is that, there are always hundreds of building blocks. Form, composition, ambient occlusion, saturation, hue, light balance, line form...... and those are just the *some* of the generalised *categories*. And each category will have it's own subsection of building blocks! And then those blocks will interact with each other to create completely new area of expertise! This is crazy! Marcille sketch page took me only 3 hours to create because I am already quite familiar with linework - I have drawn 3-4 comicbooks worth of linework. This also means I am familiar with believable anatomy, more or less, which got utilised in the Asterism cover - the main bulk of linework got created during a 3h livestream. So.... what's the answer.... "It's all relative" is so unsatisfactory and probably not what you looked for. But you can draw something in 3 days and kill your body over it. Or you can become an expert in a field and dish the same picture out effortlessly in 8 hours. You can also split that 8h block over multiple days bringing you back up to 3 days. You could even add a whole day of visual research which might make your picture only marginally better. And even if we calculate it in terms of raw working time, pen-to-paper, like a self-inflicted capitalist tumor, that time can fluctuate still due to personal visual library and knowledge base. If I asked Tom Fox how long it takes for him to create his sketch pages his answer would probably be downward of 30 minutes. Yet I need whole 3 hours to create something *less* anatomically correct than him. And so here we are at the end of this perhaps unnecessary essay. And all we learned is this: it depends. Dry, not nuanced tl;dr, my personal timings: single sketch - 30mins; single linework pic 1-2h; Cellshaded illust - 16h; Rendered illust: 20-25h.

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autismprotocol · 3 months

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TMAGP Theory Board (S1 EP 7)

Dang that episode was a RIDE Hope everyone had a relaxing week because after the newest protocol episode I am screaming!! so lets get right to it

What Happened in Episode 7: Give and Take

Celia seems to know something about the powers with her references to the buried and the flesh in the opening conversation with Alice

Celia recognizes Chester's voice!! since the introduction of Celia's last episode, I wanted to see how she would react to hearing Chester and Norris and we got that in this episode. It's safe to say that Celia recognized Chester's voice as Jon. This piece of evidence makes me almost 100% sure that this Celia is the same Celia/Lynne from Archives

Jon is Back!!! after Chester's statement (more on that later) we learn that Sam has been getting emails from someone named Jon. He also mentions it in an internal email. This helps support the theory that Jon and Chester/FR3-d1 are fused somehow which is what I (and a lot of the fandom) have been thinking. This leaves me with a lot of questions how else can Jon communicate through FR3-d1 with the outside world? Are Martin and Jonah sentient as well? Also, my big question is if this is the first time Jon has been able to signal to the OIAR Staff or if he has been trying to get them to listen since he manifested in the world and Sam was the first one to notice him or is this his first attempt to make contact. I'm interested to learn more about how Jon will continue to influence Sam. I think he's either trying to warn Sam about the OIAR's true intention or is he looking for some way to escape FR3-d1 and needs Sam's help.

This week's statement involved a place called Hilltop Centre branch of the Oxford people's trust. if you were like me and my roommate all your lore alert bells started ringing the moment Hilltop was mentioned. for people who are new to the Magnus Universe Hilltop Road is a major location for avatars (usually web-aligned ones) and also was the childhood home to the desolation avatar Agnes Montague. Hilltop is a big deal in TMA. Hilltop Centre being located in Oxford also lines up nicely with where we know Hilltop Road is located. I'm interested to know if we will hear anything about the house at 105 Hilltop Road being student housing because if that is true then we can connect the statement giver Anya Villette From MAG 114 to being from protocol's world. if that's true there could be a way to get to the Archive Universe through the gap in reality (a wormhole that exists where the house was built) Anyways definitely will have to listen for any more mention of a place called Hilltop in Oxford

Gwen was promoted by Lena to external liaison and is officially "In" It's time to learn the OIAR's secrets! after doing some research into the job title of external liaison it seems that Gwen is almost gonna be acting as a messenger between the OIAR and another party which is unclear at this time. my guess is it has something to do with Starkwell which was the private military contractor that was mentioned in Episode 4 but that's just a guess and me trying to fit in pieces that have not found a snug place in the lore yet. could be someone else (I'd love to hear your thoughts)

Remember our Buddy Klaus from Episode 4 who we thought was killed by Lena? turns out Klaus is still alive we learn through Gwen and Lena's conversation, that Lena was paid by someone to kill Klaus but failed.

Colin is more paranoid than ever! could be because of the eye or the institute but he does not want to be near technology right now.

Ooh boy that was a lot I'm still reeling from this episode so I'll leave it there for now. honesty I'm most stoked to hear Jon's back in the story and excited to see what role he'll play in Protocol.

Hope you guys have a wonderful week ask box and comments are always open and I'll be back next week for the episode 8 debrief/theory crafting

-Echo

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gaoau · 3 months

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you'll never resemble a human, so stand up on your claws and kill your own God

theory of the two demons warnings — this is set in the bsd beast universe, so if you havent read/watched that, i do not recommend reading this. theres spoilers and it probably wont make much sense anyway if you dont know what the fucks going on for everyone else that has read beast, have fun word count — 5.5k note — bonus 😝😝

prev.

"have you ever heard about the theory of the two demons?"

"i haven't. what does it say?"

"that to combat a great evil, you need an even greater evil. say, for uprisings against the government, the government can suppress the people with forced disappearances, for example."

"so it's bad against worse?"

"precisely. it cancels out. it reaches a point where evil is just the norm. a demon against another demon; do you get it?"

"i see. like… fighting fire with fire. only a demon can kill a demon."

"yeah, that's… that's a good analogy."

"where did you find this theory? it seems interesting."

"that's not important. i just thought you'd like to know about it."

"why's that?"

"so you don't resent me after i'm dead."

"i'd be surprised if you're actually mortal at all."

"now that's a very cursed thing to say, [Name]."

"my apologies, boss."

[Surname] [Name] is not required for his plans by any means, Dazai knows, but there's a needle of an unnamed feeling pricking him on the back of the head. he sits in Mori's office, reading old newspapers from two or three years ago. it's his latest special interest, so Mori doesn't question it and keeps supplying him with new material. but Mori also questions it, because Dazai doesn't give anything that isn't worth it the time of day. it is an interesting topic, he admits, but it raises his suspicions just as much.

strange murder cases across Japan are not uncommon, what with ability users running wild. he tries not to think much of it. he can't, though, not when Dazai excitedly gasps, "Mori-san! this one could be useful!" as he points to a particular article from Nagoya. spontaneous deaths concentrated in a relatively small radius—likely the work of an ability. an interesting one. one that Dazai knows he doesn't need. one that Dazai hears murmurs of from unilateral memories.

Mori hums, "what is it?" he wonders what could have possibly caught the demon prodigy's eye. but as soon as he glances over to the newspaper and the bold kanji from two years ago, a chill runs down his spine.

"spontaneous deaths, no signs of physical trauma or any diseases, unrelated and irregular victims," Dazai starts listing off. Mori knows this case like the back of his hand. "it's clearly an ability user, wouldn't you agree?" Mori's had his eye on this one for the past two years. "probably a child, too, seeing how erratic they are."

Mori thinks Dazai is aware of a lot more than he's letting on.

"we should fetch them like we did with Q. they might be an ability worth having in the mafia's arsenal."

Mori blinks blankly at the cunning child staring right back into him with an unassuming grin. suggestions of a mind with normal thoughts, those abnormal people wouldn't be able to fathom. because Dazai is not special, however his schemes may play out. he offers him a smile, a bit more strained than he wishes to express. "okay, Dazai-kun, i'll leave that to you."

and a parallel story comes to life—a story where kids can't cry, but they can pray for their lives.

it's easier to find something when knowing exactly where to look for it. Dazai doesn't waste any time paying a visit to the ruins of a research facility in Nagoya. whatever shall be rebuilt from these remains, he'll make sure it doesn't impact his plans. admittedly, he doesn't know what is waiting for him at the next location on his to-do list. among the rubble and the blood, he finds a stainless steel bracelet. he knows who it belonged to and he knows where to keep it for the sake of repentance.

after his short detour, he makes his way to Shizuoka. he's all smiles and innocence when he speaks to the lady in charge of orphaned children. when he's allowed inside and the woman calls [Name]'s attention, he hears the echo of a gunshot ringing in his ear. he remembers cursed words meant to follow him in every new page.

[Name] is sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall and taking up space as their legs are stretched out. one of their little brothers—Dazai doesn't know which one—sits against them, holding a book. as soon as the woman calls their name, [Name]'s head shoots up. they pat their sibling on the shoulder, chuckling at their childish whining, before approaching their beckoning mother. she introduces the two to one another with a warm grin and promptly leaves them to talk in private.

as they're sitting outside, watching children of all ages play with a ball, Dazai presents them with the cheap bracelet. "do you recognize this?" he prompts them to take it, but they don't budge. they scan the jewelry with their eyes briefly. then they shake their head. Dazai sighs, returning the bracelet to his pocket.

he lets silence settle between them, leaving space for [Name] to ask any questions. without stained walls and dying children, he wonders what this version of [Name] has to say to him. how sharp are their teeth? how deep do they bite? how much do they burn? but they don't look at him as they say, "i don't know who you are or what that bracelet is." they flinch when one of their siblings falls face first on the grass. their eyes are soft, without any trace of fear. "why are you here?"

amiability and [Name] are dissonant, Dazai thinks, but truth stands that the looming cloud of anger clinging to their shoulders doesn't exist here. he considers the many paths he can take them down, between violence and comradery. "listen," he starts, choosing to stand neutral where he knows he shouldn't disrupt, "it's your choice, but the ability you have—" [Name] snaps their neck towards him, "—is very useful, and a lot of less than nice people will come to get you for it."

the last time [Name] used Mirror Mirage was two years ago. the last person to ever know about it was a man in a lab coat. "i'm past using my ability. it's been long enough." with their family and their life, they hardly feel the need to steal from others anymore. they look Dazai in the eye with a passive stare, harmless, curious, willing. the stare of an older sibling scolding him for acting so childishly.

"about that…" he trails, rising from the bench. he can't see [Name] from his peripheral vision. he knows [Name] has no hostility within them unless he gives them some. "i was told to burn this orphanage down just to get you. but i'm being nice about it." and he won't give them any reason to bare their teeth. he's learned his lesson. he knows better from his own parallel mistakes. "you're a smart kid, aren't you?"

"are you extorting me?"

"not quite, i'm just looking out for you." a chuckle slips from his tongue. there's a fine line between his lies and his benevolence. it seems he cannot change his ways—he can only make them softer.

[Name] purses their lips in thought as they ponder over his words. "will everyone here be safe if i go with you?" they crane their neck to look up at him. he's not that much taller than them, even while standing up, wearing nothing but black, hiding behind his bangs and bandages. he still feels unreachable, too big and too lonely, like he takes up too much space whether he wants to or not.

"you can watch over them yourself," Dazai reassures them. he takes a step and turns to face them, offering them his bandaged hand.

"okay then." without a moment's hesitation, they reach for his fingers. they rise to their feet. "i'll go with you."

"welcome to the Port Mafia, [Name]."

Dazai feels in their hand the moment they realize exactly who he is and where he comes from. they blink owlishly at him as he smiles back without a trace of animosity. [Name] relaxes their muscles, now knowing they've made the correct choice. later that same week, they meet again with the man in the lab coat; the head of the Port Mafia itself.

it's fleeting, [Name] realizes, but it's very much there—the unadulterated, baseless animosity creeping up their legs. when they walk into the training room on their first day, Dazai is waiting for them while leaning against the wall. they see it in his eye as he turns his head to look at them. it's a hollow stare, a bottomless pit of strife, reaching out in echoes from the sobs of a child. his lips curl into a small smile. [Name] feels the hairs on their nape bristling in alarm, like there's a bigger threat looming nearby, but all they can see is Dazai.

and Dazai, with that look in his eyes and that simper on his lips, is not a threat at all.

when he's standing so close to them, when he isn't hiding in the sunlight, he feels much smaller. it's almost as if they could see his hands shaking. it's almost as if they could see the tears wanting to overflow. there's a stirring in their stomach where pain bubbles, purely and innocently. Dazai is so, so far away.

he pushes himself off the wall and stands across from [Name]. stepping closer, he finds it unusual to not see their muscles tense in alarm. then he remembers the usual hasn't been established yet. "those scars…" his sentence dies down as he tastes the words. they feel familiar on his tongue, so he finds a way to flip them upside down. "do you want to die, [Name]?" his eye casts down to their uncovered arms. they look the same.

"i'm sorry?"

a sigh tumbles from his lips. "your scars, those are self-inflicted."

"ah." instinctively, [Name]'s fingers reach up to touch their neck. Dazai doesn't look at them. "there was a time, back in the labs. i've grown out of it." they speak nonchalantly, shrugging their shoulders and acting like craving death was nothing more than a short phase. a little something they tried for fun and stopped once they got bored of it—it doesn't follow them, it doesn't cling to them, it has left them alone because they don't want to die anymore.

"why?"

"what do you mean?"

"why did you want to die?"

he sees how [Name] stops to give it some thought. their eyes flicker down and to the side briefly, then return to him, alive. "i'm not sure. it was just easy."

"those tests they ran on you," he prompts.

"yeah." they blink and something flashes in their eyes. it's unnoticeable, but Dazai can see it clearly. he considers briefly, just briefly, keeping his mouth shut. [Name] continues with an explanation that only makes sense to normal people like themself and Dazai, "living things became trivial."

"and by consequence, so did you."

[Name] nods. it's odd, they think, how easily he understands without them explaining a jumbled mess of forgotten thoughts. maybe it isn't that odd, especially considering he's read their files already. "do you want to die, Dazai-san?" but they see him as soon as their question slips from their tongue.

"yes."

in a quick answer with no hesitation, [Name] sees the innocent boy on the verge of tears. he's gritting his teeth and covering his ears with trembling hands. [Name] grimaces, because the closer they try to step, the smaller he becomes. so scared, so lonely, so vulnerable. they feel sorry for him. they pity him. he feels just like another little sibling from the orphanage, one [Name] could easily hold until his breathing settles down again. but as soon as they blink, he fades away, melting into the shadows where they can't reach. in his stead, they meet Dazai's hollow stare.

[Name]'s fingers twitch on instinct. "can i ask why?" they think, ignoring the bristling hairs on the back of their nape, that Dazai has been standing alone and alienated for far too long.

"some may call me a fool," he answers, voice light and airy, shrugging it off like it's something he's heard a billion times before. but then [Name] feels it again, when he looks them right in the eye, the unnerving animosity trying to drag them down. it's as if he's looking at someone else—looking at words he's heard from the same voice, but not quite the same person. "others," he emphasizes, "may call me a coward."

[Name] recoils. they take a step backwards. that statement—that complaint—was not directed at them, [Name] understands, but it was directly for them.

Dazai lets a chuckle drift into the silence. he recognizes he shouldn't be speaking anymore. he recedes and takes his contempt off [Name] with him. "is that enough of an answer for you?"

"i think… it's your choice." ([Name] tries—wants—to understand.) "whether you want to tell me or not."

they don't bite. "you're a lot more agreeable," Dazai hums. in a world in which he hasn't stolen anything from them, [Name] has no reason to bite back. if he hadn't been so childish, maybe they could have held a conversation like this in the right story.

[Name] contemplates asking for clarification, but they keep their mouth shut as Dazai steps closer. he feels small again. he's a kid. he's nothing but a kid, all over again.

with weightless steps, he stands a few feet away from [Name]. "attack me with all you've got."

Dazai can recite this scene from memory. [Name] hesitates, argues, and he makes sure they understand where their loyalties should lie from the get-go. he's long decided to teach them the same lessons in a different way. their attack is as predictable as the first time; he wastes not a single second striking his leg against their ribcage. as [Name] bounces off the wall, Dazai sighs to himself.

"lesson number one," his voice echoes through the training room, "don't rely on your ability alone." he watches unblinking while [Name] struggles to pick themself up from the floor. "you're gonna need a lot of martial arts training."

[Name] can barely register any of his words when their mouth is overflowing with blood.

Dazai gives them time to stand back up on their feet. quietly, he turns towards the door. "that's all for today." [Name]'s blurry eyes follow him as he begins heading out. his back is so, so small. "the closest infirmary is on the ground floor. same time tomorrow, yeah?" he stops at the door, glancing over his shoulder.

finding support on the wall, [Name] clutches the forming bruise on their side, stumbling in an attempt to stay balanced. their head spins, but they answer, "…yeah, okay…" despite the sickening taste of blood on their tongue.

"i'll use a gun, so be ready."

"…gotcha."

[Name] listens to their own choked breathing and takes a moment to properly stabilize themself. Dazai hears an echo in his brain, voices from the dead he has never heard, but he nonetheless remembers. it haunts him, whether he wants them to or not, because wisdom only has worth when a writer is dead. he takes it upon himself to not stress [Name] out too much. promptly, he exits the training room, leaving the door wide open for [Name] to follow once they gather their bearings again.

they think, while heading for the door, that Dazai is simply a lonely kid drowning in future regrets.

Dazai knows better than anyone—or rather, he's the only who knows—that he cannot interfere where he isn't allowed. the best example of this is [Name]'s natural gravitation towards Chuuya. he lets the years pass, working for things to play out the exact same way, changing the course only where it's needed for his plan. while he's busy throwing a quiet tantrum in a former assassin's apartment, he leaves [Name] in Chuuya's hands.

Nakahara Chuuya has read [Name]'s files—only the most relevant ones, because it would take him a lifetime to even scan through everything that has been documented since the moment of their birth. empathy simmers in his chest in the face of another humane monster built from experiments.

that which resembles a human. resembling humans, all of them, dancing on a chessboard in someone else's pocket.

however smart Mori may be, however much respect he may have for the boss, Chuuya believes leaving a kid with suicidal tendencies to a suicidal bastard is undeniably cruel. [Name] is nothing like Dazai, because they value life, because they don't regret being born, because they don't taunt death in an attempt to free themself. and yet despite knowing they are so, so different from the demon prodigy, there still is something. there is something, and Chuuya doesn't know what, but it's very much there. something in their eyes, something very deep in a parallel mirror; something on the scar on their neck and something in their voice.

something, whatever it is, making [Name] feel horribly similar to Dazai.

Chuuya has seen his friends die time and time again. that's just the way the mafia works. he fears he's going to see [Name] end up being another corpse in a pile of distant memories.

after a strenuous day of training, he offers them a cigarette. the more they take from him, the less they'll follow in Dazai's footsteps—he hopes, at least, because Dazai has a plan. Chuuya doesn't know what it is or why he's so determined to see it come to fruition, but he does know no one is safe. so he leans against the wall, taking another drag, listening as [Name] explains their experience in the research facility. out of curiosity, out of concern.

if there's an input, there's an output.

[Name] shakes ashes off their cigarette. they finish their retelling with a closing thought of, "at some point, the concept of life became trivial, as Dazai-san put it." it sounds natural and it rolls off their tongue with the tone of an older sibling. Chuuya argues that it sounds dissonant; that agreeing with Dazai shouldn't be a willing choice. "i could kill anyone and anything, but i couldn't kill myself. they wouldn't let me."

he sighs heavily, "that explains why you feel so much like that lousy suicidal bastard."

with the way [Name] turns to blink owlishly at him, he'd think he's offended them. their brows furrow in thought for a moment, before they chuckle sardonically. "i think Dazai-san's in a league of his own." as a pained afterthought, they add, "sadly." they cast their gaze down to their shoes, a grimace twisting their face. pity burns on their tongue. "there really isn't anyone out there to feel so much like him."

"hopefully," Chuuya snarls, rolling his eyes, "there really shouldn't be."

"do you hate him that much, Chuuya-san? i know he's a lot to handle, but he's just throwing a tantrum." the laughter that falls from their lips is ironic. they don't mean it. they're at a loss. the cigarette between their fingers slips and bounces off their shoes.

Chuuya clicks his tongue. "he's just a cunning bastard with a plan to fuck everyone over." he flicks his own cigarette off to the side to emphasize his words.

[Name] lets his snarky remark swim into their ears, processing each sound with careful consideration. they stare silently at the floor as they take into account everything the mafia has shown them for the past two years. they're well aware Dazai is always slithering around, a heavy presence looming over everyone's shoulders to make sure everything goes according to plan. they know he's doing something, whatever it might be, and it's very important. that's why he's been gone for over a week already. from where [Name] stands, it simply seems capricious.

"i think he's a little kid," they speak up with a hint of hesitation. a knot in their throat tries to keep them from spitting words a parallel story would set them on fire for. they clear their throat, turning to find Chuuya's eyes. "doesn't he feel like a neglected toddler to you?"

immediately, Chuuya throws his head back and cackles from the core of his chest. he pats [Name]'s shoulder harshly, shaking them in a fit of pure amusement. "ha! that's your best joke so far." he pretends to wipe a tear off his eye. the moment his laughter fades away, a peeved frown pulls his brows down. "that shitty asshole's a demon that's been alive for centuries. i wouldn't waste pity on him." as if it were an unimportant discussion about ants on the ground, Chuuya shrugs his shoulders. he's done with his smoke break and he cares little about sympathy for malicious intelligence.

[Name] watches him head back into the Port Mafia building. the demonic crown Dazai wears weighs on him more and more as the years go by. centuries upon centuries of living in isolation should give a demon like him all the wisdom in the universe, and yet he's nothing but a child. even Chuuya is only a child with issues of his own. they all are. and when kids are scared, some cry, some bite back, and some simply cower in a corner while gritting their teeth.

with a sigh, [Name] crushes their struggling cigarette with the sole of their shoe. they follow after Chuuya once the fire has died.

it's strange, Dazai thinks, and it rattles him for a moment. he only has the memories of what will happen, but he's convinced he can still feel frail bones crushing under the pressure of his foot. the moment he sees [Name] in broad daylight, crouched over in an awfully familiar alleyway, he stops dead in his tracks. his fingers twitch. he almost wishes [Name] would try to hide away in the shadows. he doesn't have to even look past them to know there's a box with three puppies in it.

"what are you doing here, [Name]?"

[Name] cranes their neck back, finding Dazai's eye staring down at them with a blank gaze. "hello, Dazai-san," they greet him normally, because they don't know and they can't guess. they step to the side to let him see the three dying dogs, huddled together for warmth inside a humid box. Dazai blinks. these puppies don't just look frail, they look sick.

"what are you doing?"

[Name] turns back to the box. with one hand, they keep searching for a way to help these dying creatures; the other one offers a sense of comfort—or as much as they can—scratching their heads gently. "i found these guys abandoned here. i was thinking of getting 'em to the vet, they don't look too good." when [Name] removes their hand, one of the puppies stirs. it tries to call out in a faint cry. it barely has the strength to breathe.

"oh." Dazai hums in understanding. he doesn't like dogs. he doesn't care about what happens to these dogs. something is probably eating them from the inside out and he knows for a fact they will not survive a ride to the vet. they're on the verge of death already; [Name], this time, is too late. "yeah, that's a good idea." he doesn't care about what happens to these dogs or to [Name] themself, but he lets them do whatever they want. it is not a dare. it is not a challenge. it's simply him taking a step back.

"do you know of any vets nearby? i can't find anything on my phone."

"…i don't really like dogs so i don't know anything." he lies. he does know. he cannot step back more than this.

it's fleeting, but [Name] feels that same baseless animosity trying to drown them. "i see." they pretend it's fair. they don't pry. with a grimace, they turn again to look at Dazai. "do you think they'll make it? they might be a lost cause."

"you should try."

the longer they consider it, the more pity simmers in their chest. when they scan their eyes over the puppies one more time, they're agitated, struggling to breathe. "i'd rather not put 'em through that… i'll just let 'em pass peacefully." an orange glow surrounds their body as they use Mirror Mirage to steal the dogs' lives from them. painlessly, the three of them grow weaker until they ultimately die.

Dazai glares quietly. he watches with a hollow stare as [Name], with their eyes closed, claps their hands and says a short prayer to the lives they've taken.

"i'll find a place to bury them. excuse me, Dazai-san." picking the box up from the floor, [Name] bows their head to him. he trails his eyes after them while they disappear down the sidewalk.

Mori Ogai knew eventually Dazai would take his place. evil expects evil from others. when he finds [Name]'s hand around his throat, he chuckles. he figures this is exactly why Dazai wanted to take them from their orphanage and bring them into his arsenal. he's not given much choice and lets the children do with him as they see fit.

at age eighteen, Dazai Osamu becomes the Port Mafia's boss.

[Name] doesn't mind the changes in the mafia, especially considering they aided the new boss. there's a hefty weight of unbearable responsibility pressing down on their shoulders. they're aware Dazai isn't their problem, and neither do they feel the need to interfere. he is doing something—[Name] doesn't know what it is or why, but they hope he can accomplish it so he'll finally sit down and breathe. they know better than to meddle. but the duty of an older sibling compels them to at least check in on everyone around them.

(Chuuya isn't content. they've heard all of his complaints again and again over cigarettes and drinks. he says he doesn't blame them for helping Dazai out in taking Mori's head. they hardly believe him.)

Dazai calls them into his office. something feels off when they step inside, bowing as per usual, speaking politely like they did with Mori. he's leaning back on his chair and reading a book. the cover is worn, but they can make out the characters for war and crime. the look in his eye darkens considerably as he lets it flutter shut before dropping it in his trash bin.

he leans into his desk and towards [Name], an empty smile curling his lips. "i have a task for you, [Name]." he gathers documents scattered around, brushing off a paper airplane that falls off the edge. [Name] takes them from his hand with a nod. "i'd like some information on this orphanage."

"of course, boss."

they bow one more time to excuse themself. Dazai considers letting them go with their task, but curiosity gets the best of him. he can't keep his mouth shut. "say, [Name]," he starts. [Name] stands up straight, listening attentively. "have you ever heard about the theory of the two demons?"

[Name] blinks, brows rising. it doesn't ring a bell. "i haven't. what does it say?" Dazai knows it doesn't ring a bell.

"that to combat a great evil, you need an even greater evil." it's taken him years to understand what this theory entails. it's taken him memories that do not belong to him to wrap his head around nonsense such as this. the best experience comes first-hand. "say, for uprisings against the government, the government can suppress the people with forced disappearances, for example." he cannot pretend to laugh at this anymore.

"so it's bad against worse?"

"precisely." Dazai snaps his fingers. there's a childlike ring in his voice, like he's happy to finally hold a conversation with the [Name] he's known. "it cancels out. it reaches a point where evil is just the norm. a demon against another demon; do you get it?"

"i see. like… fighting fire with fire." they're close. "only a demon can kill a demon."

like saying long time no see to someone he's supposed to have never met. like stabbing his own leg for someone he knows doesn't have the choice to stray. like offering lies to someone who cursed him in a different story. like babbling words that are not his. "yeah, that's… that's a good analogy." like a corpse smiling back at him. (like animal blood staining his shoes.)

"where did you find this theory? it seems interesting."

Dazai glances at the trash bin only briefly. "that's not important." [Name] doesn't catch on. "i just thought you'd like to know about it."

"why's that?"

"so you don't resent me after i'm dead." he's always known they aren't anything like him.

[Name] lets an innocent chuckle slip, "i'd be surprised if you're actually mortal at all."

"now that's a very cursed thing to say, [Name]." he offers them a smile. it's the smile of a child, innocent and ignorant. it's heavy.

"my apologies, boss."

Nakajima Atsushi is a mellow boy. it doesn't take a genius to realize he wasn't as lucky as [Name] was when drawing straws in the orphanage lottery. he's been blessed with a powerful ability, but he's also been cursed to never tame it. Dazai seems to have been prepared for this inconvenience since the day he was born. [Name] considers that's probably exactly the case.

they analyze the collar Dazai has given them, before their eyes fall on Atsushi. he's mellow and he's scared. he sits quietly on the floor, hugging his knees close to his chest to make himself small, hiding his face in search for safety. [Name] crouches by him, wearing the same gentle simper they used for their youngest siblings.

"i'm sorry about this, Atsushi-kun," they speak softly, careful not to make unnecessary loud noises, "but Dazai-san said it's to keep your ability in check."

"i know. i understand. it's okay." he lifts his head up only slightly. he meets [Name]'s pitying eyes.

they frown. the theory of the two demons states that, in order to take down a great evil, one requires a greater evil; [Name] thinks this is what Dazai meant when introducing them to such a wicked theory. a sigh tumbles from their lips, "it's not okay, but it's necessary." it burns on their tongue, rotten words they should swallow.

they purse their lips and clasp the collar around Atsushi's neck. somehow, they wince harder than him.

Dazai Osamu has completed his plan.

he hits the ground, blood splattering and staining the ground a crimson red, because even in death, Dazai can't keep himself from being a nuisance. his body twitches as the last remnants of life slip away from him. it's unexpected—not that he managed to fulfill his own goals, but the way he chooses to celebrate. in the moment, [Name] thought their words were ironic. as they catch a glimpse through the corner of their eye, they think they spoke too much.

they freeze, shoulders taut. with wide eyes, they find Chuuya's glare across from them, seemingly just as perplexed. both turn towards the wall of windows; neither dare take a step closer to confirm their suspicions.

"…Chuuya-san," [Name] speaks up with a hesitant tone. Chuuya doesn't answer. "Chuuya-san, was…" their voice trails off, unsure of what to say in the face of suicide. "Chuuya-san, was that Dazai-san?" by the time they manage a coherent sentence, Chuuya is no longer by their side.

[Name] watches from up high in an empty hallway. from this height, Dazai's bleeding body is nothing more than an ant out of line. they sigh heavily, eyes closed. they clap their hands together and say a short prayer for the life that now sleeps forever in solitude.

—あごす (agosu) • 2023

#theory of the two demons #bungou stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #nakajima atsushi #mori ougai #bsd beast #bungou stray dogs beast

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ruggiezz · 11 months

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— TAKE IT SLOW : twisted wonderland

[synopsis] you confide them about you self-harming and your scars - hurt /comfort

[characters] riddle, ruggie, kalim (part 1) / azul, floyd, jade (part 2) / jamil, silver (part 3)

[warnings] please do not read if this is a sensitive topic for you, this is meant to be for comfort, but it does mention blades, blood and scars that haven't healed yet

[extra] sorry if i haven't posted much lately, i'll try my best to keep posting regularly, i just haven't been feeling my best lately. i'll post another request later this month and the rest of the parts

★ RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

He found out when he caught a glance at your scars. You were at Heartslabyul helping out with the preparations at an unbirthday party, and he happened to be nearby when he spotted them. Riddle immediately panics, thinking you were hurt by someone else in NRC.

Grabs you by the hand and takes you away to a secluded area, demanding an explanation. Don't get him wrong; he isn't angry at you; he's angry at whoever did this to you, telling you they will pay for hurting you.

Doesn't know what to say when you tell him about why those scars are there in the first place. He certainly wasn't expecting this, and he has never met anybody who did this either. When you start crying over his silence, he panics and hugs you, assuring you he isn't angry at you. Riddle feels awful; he doesn't know what to say, so he just hugs you while you pour your heart out. He held you by the hand for the rest of the unbirthday party, not leaving your side.

Riddle starts reading a lot of information about why this happened in the first place, wanting you to seek help. He spends a lot of time in the library researching and stays up reading websites offering advice.

He snaps at Ace when he makes fun of you (even if it's in a non-serious way), he gets really protective, wanting you to not feel alone. He also texts more now, asking you how you're feeling and checking up on you.

★ RUGGIE BUCCHI

He was staying the night in Ramshackle when you told him to wait for you a bit, since you needed to go to the bathroom. Ruggie didn't mean to snoop around, he swears, but he checked your bedside table's drawers to see if you kept a snack or something he could eat since he was hungry. He was expecting to find something like cookies or maybe a book you borrowed from the library, but he found a couple of blades and tissues with dried blood.

Ruggie immediately closes the drawer, freaking out over what he finds. He knows what's going on now; he can't find another reasonable explanation. He doesn't know how to confront you now; he feels guilty that he wasn't able to notice before. He's supposed to be dating you; how didn't he see this coming?

He finds the courage to ask you when you come out of the bathroom. You ask him why he looks pale and has his ears flattened, and he decides to make you sit down and then ask.

He tries his hardest not to cry when he sees the scars, but you tell him they are healed, so it isn't recent. Ruggie caresses them with his fingers, so you can feel a little comfort. He hugs you when you cry and doesn't leave your side until you feel a little bit better.

Since then, he has made sure to take time out of his scheduled duties to check on you. He also got rid of the blades or anything sharp, tossing them in the trash. He starts saving money to take you to a therapist on Sage's Island, but if you don't want to go, he won't force you either, but he's worried. Ruggie tells you to come to him if you feel bad, so he can lend an ear and comfort you. He's your boyfriend after all; he's meant to be with you in good and bad, he says.

★ KALIM AL-ASIM

Kalim texted you, asking you to come to Scarabia. He had a big surprise for you that he had been dying to show you the whole week.

He almost tackled you to the ground with all of the excitement he felt as he led you to his room. You were sitting on his bed, hugging one of his pillows that had those expensive silk covers, when he pulled an expensive outfit out of his closet that he bought for you.

Kalim gave it to you, bouncing on his toes, waiting for you to try it on. You looked at it for a while in silence, and he noticed your sad expression and asked what was wrong. Did he get the wrong size? Did you not like it?

You start crying while you tell him that you can't wear it because it shows your scars, and you show him what you meant. Kalim feels like his whole world came crashing down right at that moment. He cries when you tell him; he can't imagine how much pain you must have felt for you to recur to self-harm, and he hugs you while apologizing for not realizing before. You assure him it wasn't his fault, but he still kisses your tears away.

If he acted very clingy before, he is even more clingy now. He doesn't want you to feel unloved and wishes you knew how much you meant to him. Kalim asks you to please text him when you feel like hurting yourself so he can be there for you and distract you.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #kalim al-asim x reader #kalim x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie x reader #twst x reader #twst

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winchesterdreamgirl88 · 7 months

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NFSW Alphabet- Sam Winchester

Warning: Smut, 18+, language

A/n: I know this one isn't super good but since I'm not as into Sam as I am Dean it's harder for me to write sexy stuff about Sam. But I promise I'll try and get better for all my Sam girlies out there:)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Sam would cuddle for a few minutes and play with your hair before getting up to clean you off and bring you anything you need. You are always his first priority

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I feel like Sam would be really really proud of his hands because they are so big, he can pleasure you well

I feel like Sam would be the type to really love grabbing at his partners waist and hips and tracing the curves on their body

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

You and Sam aren't ready to settle down and have kids yet so he loves cuming on your boobs or in your mouth

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Sam secretly likes that you're not as experiences as he is so he can teach you new things

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

While Sam isn't as experienced as Dean he definitely knows how to pleasure you and can make you scream so much you lose your voice

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

I feel like Sam would be a missionary kind of guy because he enjoys being intimate and close to you, but when it comes to angry or jealous sex his favorite position is doggy

F = Foreplay(how much time do they take pleasing you, teasing, etc) (I haven't actually seen anyone do this and I think it's a fun one to add:)

Sam would want to be pleasured first so he could take his time on you and he would start by fingering you and making you cum and then he would get to the main event

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Sam can be either goofy or serious depending on what was happening before you guys started having sex

He'd be goofy if you guys were play fighting or just being silly together before

He'd be serious if he was jealous or just wanted to make you feel loved

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Sam is literally as bald as it can get

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Sam definitely is the kind of guy to always be checking on you during sex and making sure that you feel good and he's not doing anything to make you uncomfortable. He loves being close to you

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Sam doesn't really jack off a lot he prefers anything he does to be with you but if he's out on a hunt away from you and he's really desperate he will and he'll usually call you and ask for your help:)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Sam LOVES pulling your hair and letting you know he has control

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Sam is very private when it comes to sex so he prefers in his room at the bunker or if you to have a motel room to yourselves

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Whenever you are in one of his shirts and some shorts and just sitting with him doing research and drinking coffee

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that would hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Sam loves receiving head he likes encouraging you to take more of him each time you give him head

He will give you head but he prefers using his fingers because they're long and can make you feel better

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Sam likes more sensual and sweet moments with you where you guys can just take your time and enjoy each others company

If you guys have to be quick though he knows fast and rough will make you guys finish quicker

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sam doesn't like quickies because he would rather take his time and be able to just enjoy it with you

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He will try anything that you guys agree on

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Sam can usually last about 3 rounds but he makes sure you cum before him most times or together

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I feel like Sam wouldn't be into toys cause he's not super kinky and he wants to be the one making you feel good

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I feel like Sam would tease by going really slow so it feels like he's torturing you until you had begged him long enough to fully pleasure you

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I feel like Sam is very vocal but he likes to be quiet and shy about it. He's only loud enough so you can hear him and know it's only you making him feel this way

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Sam likes doing food / desert play with you before sex

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I mean have you seen how tall this man is!! He is definitely as big as you imagine it would be

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Sam doesn't have a super high sex drive, he would ideally have sex with you 3-4 times a week because when you guys are on hunts it's hard for him to focus on anything besides the job so he needs to wait for when you guys have down time so he can give you his full attention

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sam would fall asleep after you fell asleep, he likes watching you sleep because you're just so peaceful and beautiful it gives him more time to look at you

#dean winchester #jensen ackles #supernatural #supernatural imagine #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester smut #dean winchester x you #jared padalecki #sam winchester smut #sam winchester

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entertext · 6 months

Text

HGSN 22-2

Chapter (Japanese)

(Please hit the green thumbs up at the end of the chapter to show support)

Rough translation by me

(sfx: wakes up)

Yoshiki: Uwahh!

Yoshiki's mom: Dear...! Are you alright!? Why did you go to Takeda-san's place..!?

Yoshiki: Mom...

Mom: Is it true!? That old Takeda geezer went into a rage and knocked the two of you out?

Mom: The researcher? staying there managed to stop him, but...

Yoshiki: Wait...slow down...you didn't call the police or anything...

Mom: A small quarrel within the village that isn't worth getting the police involved over...that's what it will be settled as, it seems. I seem like a fool. Even if I filed a complaint...

Yoshiki: Enough of that, what about 'Hikaru'...?

Mom: He's sleeping on the next bed...

(sfx: curtain swish)

Mom: But he hasn't woken up yet...

(sfx: thump)

Tanaka: (This katana...)

Tanaka: (I snuck it into Takeda's house for an emergency, but it came in handy. It was able to cut "that" better than I thought)

Tanaka: (This confirms it. It took a long time to get to this point. I'm...really lucky... To think that it's manifesting in this era)

Tanaka: (On top of that, how funny! Not only does it have an ego but it made itself weaker!)

Tanaka: (So things are already progressing towards my goal?)

Tanaka: (But....if that's now the case...)

Takeda: Tanaka!!!

Takeda: My father...they said he probably can't be saved. That it was a heart attack.

Takeda: What the hell happened...!?

Tanaka: ...my apologies. I rushed there but didn't make it in time.

Tanaka: I noticed too late. ...It's my fault.

Takeda: ...

Takeda: My father...had said "I'm next"

Takeda: Was that was true then?

Tanaka: ...seeing the beings on the other side means the other side can find you more easily too

Tanaka: If you find them, the more you fear them, the easier of a target you make

Tanaka: That's all that happened to Matsuura-san and your father.

Takeda: I see...no, to be honest

Takeda: My wife and I were relieved...though that isn't proper to say

Tanaka: ...

Tanaka: ...by the way, my sunglasses

Tanaka: have you seen them?

Takeda: They're right in front of you, aren't they...?

Tanaka: ...

(sfx: splash)

Takeda: You...

Takeda: Is it possible that you're blind?

Tanaka: Yeah....

Tanaka: That's right.

Tanaka: But this is a kind of spiritual impairment. Even with a medical examination, there's nothing wrong

Tanaka: Besides, with these sunglasses I can more or less see

Tanaka: Though its annoying that they're company provisions

Takeda: How long ago?

Tanaka: ...since a very long time ago. Are you finished?

Takeda: Wait

Takeda: What the hell is your goal here?

Tanaka: It's my job

Tanaka: My "company" is looking for a particular thing that originates from the other side

Tanaka: They've searched for several hundred years... It's worth that much effort

Tanaka: And that's why they send people like me out to survey any place that it has even the slightest chance of being in

Takeda: No, I'm talking about your personal motive

Takeda: I don't know anything about that company or whatever

Takeda: But for you to do so much, you must have a reason

Tanaka: Haha, you're suprisingly sharp

Tanaka: Regarding "Nounuki-sama"...it's not wrong to say I plan on doing something about it

Tanaka: At the very least... I'm on the side of humanity

Tanaka: ...but I've just gotten a few more things to do now.

Tanaka: I'll be gone from this village for a moment, so you're responsible for now

Takeda: !? Hey!

Takeda: What about dealing with Nounuki-sama!! If someone gets attacked by impurities...

Tanaka: Please fight them with that katana! Takeda-san, you're 6th dan in Kendo, aren't you?

Takeda: Is that possible!?

(txt: Missed Call: Satou)

Next chapter: in two weeks probably

Twitter Extra (link):

If he started speaking before it was stuck back on:

Yoshiki: ....!

Hikaru: How about working at a haunted house?

#hikaru ga shinda natsu #the summer hikaru died #hgsn spoilers

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vashtijoy · 1 year

Text

maruki, ren, wakaba: history rhymes

Maruki's journal entries cover an almost three-year period, from 2014/04/09 to 2017/01/01. This overlaps with almost the entirety of canon; Akechi begins working for Shido "two and a half years" before 11/21 (that's 2014/05/21)—which, again, is not too far from this 04/09 date; if you want to hypothesise that he, too, awakens around 2014/04/09, go wild.

Why is 4/9 a significant date for Maruki?

4/9: maruki and joker connect to their personas

According to his journal, Maruki's awakening is a painful, drawn-out process. In February 2014, he's already getting headaches. They worsen until August of that year, when he partially awakens.

His start of darkness is, of course, the murder of his girlfriend Rumi's parents. The killer then attacks Rumi while making his escape, and Maruki is powerless to prevent it. She never recovers, and neither does he:

Apr. 9 I just can't believe what's happened. I'll never see Rumi's parents again... I don't even know if Rumi will ever come back to me. Her heart's been completely closed off ever since that day. Why did this happen? What did Rumi do to deserve this? Do we really have to just go on suffering these consequences? My headaches are getting worse— I'm even starting to hear things. Am I having some kind of breakdown? I can't lose it... I have to do something to help Rumi. No matter what it takes.

But 2014/04/09 is the first day he feels able to journal about the murder. "I'm starting to hear things," he says; this is likely the first day he hears the voice of his persona. It's also the date he commits to help Rumi "no matter what it takes".

... However. This is also two years to the day before Joker stops at Shibuya Crossing, gets the Meta-Nav from Yaldabaoth—who is lurking far beneath the Crossing—inadvertently enters the Metaverse, and sees his own shadow and the suggestion of the persona it will become:

He is a scary boy when he wants to be, huh? I bet his Palace would have been amazing. Note that Joker, here, will also not awaken right away—but he's seen his persona, his shadow-as-is, for the first time.

8/21: maruki's partial awakening and wakaba's murder

(@notcoolnickname points out that Wakaba dies on 8/21, not 8/22—thanks! I think we can push Maruki's awakening back two days rather than one, so I'm gonna, lol. Because even if it's a day out, or two, this is really too close for coincidence.)

On 2014/08/23, Maruki writes about his visit to Rumi in the hospital. We also see that visit. He talks about "someone" he's recently met who thinks his research has promise, who wants to fund it—well, it's no surprise he loses that funding, put it like that. He talks about how he wants to save the whole world, by changing the cognition of criminals before they act.

Rumi does not take this well; she begs him to help her forget. And he realises that what she needs is not a solution to crime, but to her trauma—and so does everyone else.

This is when he awakens.

He begs Azathoth to help him save Rumi. And Rumi forgets him entirely—almost. But she's forgotten her trauma, as well:

Aug. 23 I still can't figure out what that voice was in Rumi's room. Was it my subconscious? Was it... it feels so strange writing this as a scientist, but... was it some kind of godlike being?

The entry's dated 8/23, but he says he still can't figure it out. So when did the events in the video happen? Were they two days before, by any chance?

What else happens not just on 8/21, but around or on this exact day?

Yeah. On 8/22, Sae places Wakaba's murder "two years ago". The day before, on 8/21, Sojiro commemorates the anniversary of Wakaba's death.

That's to say: if that visit to Rumi was on 8/21, then Wakaba was murdered the day Maruki awakened. The same exact day, or as good as. Like, what the fuck, y'all?

It seems really clear to me that these corresponding dates are either a thematic or narrative link back to Yaldabaoth—who, of course, causes both Joker and Akechi to awaken. Is he involved with Maruki, somehow? Does he have his fingers in more than one pie? Or are all these guys just narratively echoing each other?

Maruki, of course, will ultimately replace Yaldabaoth in Mementos.

other correspondences in the timeline

What else is there? Well, Maruki's first journal entry, when he talks about his headaches, is on 2014/02/02—three years before he meets with Joker and Akechi at Leblanc. But he says he's meeting Rumi's parents "tomorrow". So his 2/3 boss fight is on the three-year anniversary of his first meeting with Rumi's parents.

His entry about his research being shut down, and his need for test subjects—presumably what leads him into counselling?—is on 2015/06/03. Well, 6/3 is the calling card deadline for Madarame's Palace; I don't think that is too significant. But note that, in this 2015 entry, his research has been shut down; in August 2014, when Wakaba was murdered, Shido was still offering Maruki funding.

So why didn't Shido murder Maruki? The answer is that Shido was still actively recruiting Metaverse researchers, even after Akechi was working for him. Something about Maruki made him unusable—his good intentions and general incorruptibility, maybe—but not dangerous; maybe he just didn't know enough. Also note here that Akechi doesn't know there's anything special about Maruki until the third semester.

He journals that he met Yoshizawa and changed her cognition on 3/25—a couple of weeks before canon begins on 4/9. So whenever we see him, whenever he has a counselling session, he's able to connect with, and change, the cognition of the person he meets....

Lastly, he doesn't journal that "I've finally done it... reality and the cognitive world are merging" until 1/1. 1/1 is the day reality starts to go properly squiffy (the shrine is empty, Morgana is missing, Futaba mentions her mom), and it's the day after that odd New Year party, when everyone seems just a little too happy. Joker's dream is on the night of 12/31—Maruki doesn't send him the dream, I think (Joker is in his prison clothes and sees Lavenza as the butterfly) but he talks to him in it.

But Akechi is there in Shibuya on 12/24, barely moments after Maruki gains Yaldabaoth's power; just hours after the blood rain. The first gift Maruki gave with his new power, I always thought. But he seems to only become aware of what he can do after 12/24. We skip from 12/25 to 12/30, so anything could have happened in the meantime....

But what's going on here? Something odd, that's for sure. Is it possible—just possible—that that Akechi we see, on 12/24, who steps forward in Shibuya and turns himself in, is not the one Maruki interferes with or otherwise brings back, but the actual, living Akechi who was there all along?

#persona 5 #p5 meta #takuto maruki #wakaba isshiki #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #masayoshi shido #goro akechi #but speaking of odd coincidences #futaba's boss deadline is the anniversary of wakaba's death #ouch

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amethystfairy1 · 2 months

Note

What’s your writing process? Like do you do outlines or just jump right into plot etc… I’m a young writer (14) and really admire your work and want to get better myself. Ty!

✨WRITING PROCESS✨

...

this.

this is my writing process.

OK TO BE REAL THO

Firstly, I don't do outlines.

I KNOW THAT'S BAD BUT I JUST DON'T

What I usually do is word vomit whatever idea I have for a fic into a notes file.

For example! Here's a little random nonsense I just copied verbatim from my notes file that might look familiar!

Tango and Z in sky, blue cracks, Z decides to drop a container with info and his phone number into the rift. He wants to talk to the hybrids, maybe he’s some sort of researcher, he went AWOL from the biotech Institute, something like that. But he is human. Then, tango finds it, or it is brought to him, because he is a direct aid to doc in the labs. Tango ends up deciding to call Z, and they end up becoming really good friends, but only over the phone. Have some fun stuff, where both Z and tango are getting a crush, but how can you crush on someone you’ve never even seen? Tango is freaking out, because he’s not the type of hybrid that can pass as human. he knows he’ll never be able to meet Z face to face. But Z is a little more determined that he gives him credit for. Also have X be a side character in the labs, voidwalker, something like that! Maybe Z is an AWOL scientist, and scar, picked him up to work in his hot guy lab, with cub.

This is the blurb that spawned the Zedango arc in TTSBC.

In case you can't tell I use the dictation function in notes because like 90% of the time I have ideas while I'm driving so I'll just tell my phone to write down whatever I'm thinking and then talk it out

So yeah! I do this, which I dunno is kinda like an outline? I do it for more or less all of my fics.

As far as other stuff, I think the best advice I can give about being a "better writer", which has to do with your question about 'jumping into plot' is to know about your characters and your world , even if you don't plan to share that information in the piece you are writing, or even like, ever.

It's the way you make your characters feel like people. I was actually talking about this with @honeylashofficial not to long ago! You should know why your characters make the choices they do, even if that information never comes up. You should know what they like and dislike and why, if they have traumas then how would those traumas affects them in small daily ways?

Jimmy in TTSBC grew used to being threatened for his wings, so now he has a love-hate relationship with them.

Tango spent a long time without a truly safe place to sleep as a child, so now he has insomnia because he has an internalized fear of falling asleep/being vulnerable.

Zed was treated very poorly at his previous workplace, and he had a terrible experience where his professional lifes work was torn to shreds in front of him, so his self-esteem is very low, and he tends to be very self-deprecating even in a joking fashion.

Cub has sensory issues that severely impact his mood because of his warden hybrid traits, so he typically keeps himself very low energy as a baseline to avoid seeming like he has mood swings.

Even little stuff like what characters notice about their surroundings! Again in TTSBC, Jimmy pays close attention to the weather and the sky, Scott notices people features and expressions, Cub has more detailed thoughts about sounds than he does about sights, stuff like that!

Also I'm gonna give ya the piece of advice no one wants to hear when they're just starting. Just write. Write a TON.

Write even if you only have half an idea. Write even if you think it's gonna be bad. Write if you have even the slightest smallest bit of a motivation to do so, just WRITE WRITE WRITE.

And I will say while I could just be one of the lucky ones, I have been posting on various fanfic websites since I was 13. And in all that time I can count on one hand the amount of hate/negative comments I have received. Over a DECADE of writing and posting and I’ve written and posted A LOT and I have only ever been met with kindness, excitement, and encouragement.

Also, the delete button exists for a reason. You curate your experience on these websites. Especially on A03, with the ability to reply to comments, you can make very clear very quickly what sort of comments you want, which ones you don't, and the vast vast vast majority will be people who are excited about your work and want to encourage you!

If you need a mood booster or some encouragement, you can find my old old stuff on FF.net under the same penname, Amethystfairy1. Just promise you won't come back over here and send asks laughing at me for how bad those stories are, ok? 😆

My point is, you learn best by doing. As you write you will get a feel for your characters, for how they interact and react, for what your specific writing style is going to be and what you enjoy writing the most. And write what you enjoy! Of course you should stretch your writing style, but also make sure you never feel like you're slogging through your writing, especially if it's for fun or creative!

OH ONE MORE THING! 👏

I HIGHLY RECCOMEND DOING A WRITING CHALLENGE!

Stuff like Whumptober, Febuwhump, Novemcomfort, AU-gust, or different fandom weeks that come up, you can find them all over tumblr! Try to participate in one of those and get in as many days as you can! It'll make you write a lot in a short period of time, and you won't have time to overthink it, which I believe is really helpful for finding your writing style and getting comfortable with writing and posting content! It'll also give you a connection to a community of other writers who are participating, especially if you plan to post your updates to tumblr like I do!

Whatever you do on your writing journey, I hope it brings you much joy, fun, and creativity! You'll create something beautiful, I just know it! 💖

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #writing advice #fanfic writing

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lil-elle · 6 months

Note

KIDS WITH XIKERSS🥺🥺🥺 What would it be like to have a family with them?😭😭😭

I'll actually cry thinking about this, I'm not joking

XIKERS as Dads T-T

pairs: bf/hus!xikers (?) x gn!reader

genre: established relationship, parenthood (?), fluff

word count: 1.3k

content: cute fluffy dad behaviour

a/n: daddy issues go so crazy...

Minjae:

Likes to think he'd know what to do but when it actually comes to it, he's a confused mess

At first, if you left him alone with the baby to go grocery shopping or something, he'd be calling you after like 10 minutes like “Um, please come back, she's trying to eat paper towels and I don't know what to do…” in a very panicked voice that you don't usually hear from him

He'd get it eventually, but he'd be such a weak spot for your daughter, always getting her fast food when she wants it, taking her to the park whenever he can, not being able to resist when she points and asks if she can get some ice cream at the grocery store

Would be the softest dad ever, always talking sweetly to her and making time for her

She'd definitely grow up being a dad's girl, listening to music with him, cooking with him, dancing with him

Junmin:

Anxious, paranoid dad. Looks up every little thing she does, worried it's a sign of illness or injury

Actually quite a good carer though, insisting that you stay in bed and let him handle it when she starts crying in the middle of the night

Definitely looks at her with the softest eyes, the type to think he wouldn't be all that crazy about having kids but once he has one, he's so so full of love and joy

Would end up being maybe a little strict just because he's over paranoid. Once she's a teen you'd have to convince him to let her do certain things like hang out with her friends because he thinks they'll be drinking and doing drugs (I swear he means well)

The type to have a heart to heart with her because she's mad at him for being so strict, and he'd tear up while telling her that he's just so worried about her

Sumin:

The fun one

Shows pictures of you and her to everyone at work, so incredibly proud and happy of his family “Look at her, isn't she cute!!”

Spoils her every Christmas, birthday, any holiday basically. Even not on holidays, comes home with gifts for her and you have to warn him not to spoil her too much in case she becomes a spoilt brat

Would listen to her babble about her cartoons or favourite toys and would definitely actually enjoy watching cartoons and playing with toys with her

Jinsik:

The emotional one. Cries with every milestone like first steps, first day of school, every birthday, first play date, anything really

Thought he'd be a bad father but is actually really naturally caring and nurturing

Would sit and help with her homework until she gets to like 10th grade and he's skipping out saying he's “busy” but it's actually because he barely understands it himself

Would let her run and jump into his arms every time he got home from work

You'd catch them napping together on the couch after getting home one day because they both got sleepy watching a movie and cuddling

Hyunwoo:

Kinda goofy and also really confused when it comes to caring for her

Would do a ton of research and still be like “is this right?” “Oh god what do I do??”

Would absolutely adore her though, taking pictures whenever she does something cute and geeking out while showing you and obsessing over it for days

You'd walk into her room one day to find him holding her and just looking at her with the softest smile on his face. You'd walk up to him and he'd meet your eyes before smiling super duper wide, just so happy

He doesn't usually cry but he'd tear up seeing her leave for her first day at school and turn away from you like “I'm not crying, don't look!”

Junghoon:

Would be super nervous about taking care of her on the inside, even if he didn't show it on the outside

Doesn't seem like the type to be a fan of kids but his is the only exception - he adores her

Would keep a picture of her in his wallet or on his desk at work

Would always prioritise her over anything else. She's sick at school? Immediately leaves work to take her home and take care of her. She's crying over something? Would sit down with her and comfort her

Would sit on the couch with her on his lap watching cartoons and he'd absolutely fall asleep there, knocked out while she's bouncing up and down singing to the theme tune of her favourite show

Seeun:

Wide eyed whenever she does something new like giggles or grabs his finger

Would never ever admit how much he adores her but you'd catch him peeking into the crib while she sleeps, just smiling softly and getting jumpscared when he notices you behind him

Would go insane when she has her first steps, jumping up and down and yelling. He'd only calm down once he realises that he might be scaring or upsetting her by being loud

Would take her on little daddy daughter dates after school, scooping her into his arms and carrying her to a nearby cafe while talking cutesy with her and letting her choose whatever she wants from the sweets in the Cafe

Would always fight for her if she got in trouble at school, insisting that there's no way his precious angel started a fight and it was definitely the other kids fault

Yujun:

Tears and giggles from him no matter what she does. She'd giggle and the he'd giggle and his giggling would make her giggle harder, just an endless cycle

She'd definitely tale after him, being super super adorable and everyone would be able to tell, commenting on it and making him shy

Would build pillow forts with her and read her stories and she fell asleep, then carry her to bed and kiss her forehead and tucked her in

Many nights of all 3 of you falling asleep in bed together snuggled up, especially if it's cold or she's had a nightmare

Would wear matching Halloween costumes with her every Halloween because she loves it so much

Hunter:

Definitely seems like the type to know he wants a family, and once he has it he's just as thrilled as he thought he'd be

Would sing to her to help her sleep while running his finger down the bridge of her nose

Would always carry her from the car to her bed without waking her up if she fell asleep

Would be super prepared with making sure she had everything she needed for school everyday, would always make sure she ate enough and was happy everyday

Just a few months after having the first one he'd already be like “let's have another one”

Yechan:

Would be super panicky and confused. She'd start crying and he'd make a silly face to try and cheer her up but she'd just cry harder and he'd be like “HONEY HELP, I MADE IT WORSE.”

Would burst into hysterical laughter at any small thing she did, would somehow always manage to stay positive and find it funny even if she flings food at the wall or draws on everything with permanent marker

You'd have to be the one to discipline her because Yechan would never have the heart to

He's the type to high five her if she fights someone at school. “Did he start it?” “He called me a butthead >:( so I hit him” “Good job, sweetheart” *high five*

Would work together with her to pull pranks on you and then run away together, “Mommy's so scary isn't she” he'd chuckle

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

TAGLIST:

@hyunromi @chocoeon @hyunukitty @minjaezed

#xikers #xikers fanfic #xikers fluff #xikers imagines #xikers x reader #xikers drabbles

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mixelation · 9 months

Note

In the reborn au, do you think over time Tori's techniques derived from her medical knowledge would eventually get noticed by other ninja to be developed further, or would Minato actually seriously have to consider banning it if it got to that point? Or do you think it would just stay an unspoken secret Tori's techniques are breaking some rules but no one is interested enough in the topic to investigate?

hmm i think there might be some assumptions/implications in this ask i don't quite understand, but i'll answer anyway.

most of tori's research is the biology of chakra. this is slowly getting developed in plasticity-- she gets interested in it because it's the basis of all these insane things in ninjaworld, but also it's an inextricable part of every living organism's biology, but also she has literally no background understanding on it. her approach to chakra is also fundamentally different from 99% of other people because she was just trained to think about how bodies work differently, so a lot of research questions she gets fixated on seem very off the beaten track from everyone else. her main thing is that, instead of looking at chakra as something very individual like most ninja, she goes: why CAN'T i just use bacteria? why are we using human blood instead of an animal? we all presumably evolved chakra from the same source. and the answer is there's enough differences in the chakra properties you have to make a lot of modifications, but yes you can use non-human chakra. and that's what's really game changing. you don't need to be limited by your own chakra and you don't even have to be a ninja

and also she's been learning to do this under extremely unideal circumstances and she's very much like "well i have no control over my environment, so i should be able to modify fuinjutsu to it instead of trying to force my surroundings to be ideal." so it's like

kushina: what does this part of the seal do tori: that's so it still works if i paint it on an uneven surface like a rock kushina: huh. smart. minato later: listen i'm very glad you could still use this under adverse conditions minato: but WHY is this the default jutsu. this takes you twice as long to draw.

the later part where she makes insane versions of seals is only really "breaking the rules" in that most people don't get the in depth training to know how to do it themselves. more adept users also sometimes do things like this as the need arises, although most people believe the more elegant solution is "just figure out a way to to it with hand signs." so very little tori does on this front is apt to be banned for fear of people stealing it.

i think in mutagenicity she keeps down the lines of research for using non-human chakra, but ALSO with access to a real lab, she probably also starts on looking at how chakra is manipulated within the body, what the limitations are, and what the biological basis of chakra is. (these questions also seem more likely for a ninja village to want her to ask lmao.) so she might ask something like "how is direction of chakra flow determined, and is the body wired to only be able to use it when it's going in that direction, and also why the fuck is it correlated with hair whorl" and what people NOT in the lab see is that she made a jutsu to reverse chakra flow and it won't kill you but it will fuck up your ability to use chakra indefinitely. like she made it to use on mice and see what happens when chakra gets flipped around to make inferences about how chakra and physical biology interact, but it just seems like wild mad science if you don't have that context. and i think this later category of jutsu is more likely to get branded "forbidden" to prevent users from hurting themselves than as, like, security concerns.

however i will say that tori has fundamentally different beliefs on sharing knowledge than most ninja. she gets protecting clan secrets of bloodline limits, but she also thinks everyone has the inherent right to understand how biology works in a general sense. so while minato might consider it a security risk if, for example, another village stole one of her seals to do their own chakra research, Tori would just be like: oh cool, collaborators. so i can see there being some friction there.

(tori is going to be SO offended when the other ninja research team literally just wants to make a weapon and doesn't care about the genetics of chakra production at all)

#reborn au

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yuus-sentient-teddy · 1 year

Text

"Yuu-Yuu hurt." Part 9

Part 1 | Part 8 | Part 10

"Did. . . did anyone else see that?" Deuce asks. His eyes wander, as though searching for the grey space that brought him to Yuu's. . . mind?

Ace was blinking and rubbing his eyes, and he noticed that some of the others were doing the same. "Yeah. What was that? Actually, let's figure that out later. Come on, we need to see if the Prefect's all right."

The card soldiers were joined by the other First Years, each of them in similar states of dishelved but nonetheless alert. When the group reached the Prefect, Grim and the teddy bear were rubbing their hand and puffing air onto their fingers. "What are you guys doing?" Ace asks.

"Trying to warm them up! They're cold as ice," Grim says.

The Prefect's clothes had returned to normal, but the places where the thick globs of ink had stuck were damp and stained black. Their eyes were closed, heavy bags beneath them, and it looked as though they weren't moving. It was like they had been pulled out of a lake, unconscious, in the middle of the night. Ace touches their wrist and flinches back. "What the--it's like they stepped out of a freezer!"

Deuce had the same shocked reaction after touching their wrist. "You're right!"

Simultaneously, the card soldiers take off their jackets and drape them over the Prefect's upper body. The other First Years followed along, placing their jackets on Yuu's legs, but Sebek pauses. Surely they couldn't be that cold? He touches their wrist, freezes, and quickly slips his jacket off. He then starts adjusting the jackets to better cover Yuu, and Epel and Jack help him.

As they're doing this, Ortho scans Yuu's body and the rest of the rescue team gathers around. "Their heartbeat is below its usual rate and their breathing is slow, but I do not detect any irregular patterns or difficulty breathing." There are cautious breaths of relief, but Ortho shakes his head. "I wish I was in my Precision Gear. I could be more helpful that way."

"You can warn us if anything else happens to their body," Riddle says. "Cater, do you have any signal?"

"Still nothing. I'm going to try going over there--actually, Idia, could you maybe call someone on your end?"

"Trying, but there's something that's getting in the way."

"Uhh. . . what does that mean?"

"It means I'm not going to be able to make calls any time soon and you guys might have to."

"This isn't just you trying to avoid talking to people, is it?" Riddle interjects.

"WHAT? Okay, listen. I'm being 100% dead serious when I say that something is getting in the way!"

"Okay, okay!" Trey cuts in before things could escalate further. "Idia, do you think you can figure out what's happening and fix it?"

"I'll try, but like I said, you guys are going to have to call yourselves," Idia grumbles.

"That's fine. In the mean time, Cater, I can help you find some signal."

"Thanks a bunch, Trey!"

Riddle takes a deep breath and volunteers too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few seconds of silently staring at Yuu, Jade speaks up. "Azul, what did you and the other dorm leaders learn from the scientist? Aside from wanting to harvest and use negative energy."

"You know, I've been wondering about that," Floyd says. "Wouldn't it just be better to take people who can build up Blot?"

"We thought that too, but he said that it wouldn't be as exciting nor an excellent spending of time, since most research has been on magic overall. The victims that he chose were in terrible situations in the foster care system or in group homes. It would be stressful for them as is, but since they lack magical abilities, it would be easy for those with magic to bully them." Azul adjusts his glasses, the echo of a sharp-edged memory passing through his mind. He notices some others clenching their hands as they reflected too. "The hardships would increase and so would their negative energies."

"Unfortunately, I can believe it," Deuce says glumly.

"And since the test subjects lack magic, they wouldn't be able to escape as easily either nor risk going into Overblot," Jade muses. "With the exception of Yuu, of course."

There are grumbled comments of how terrible the whole situation is; others are unsurprised by the scientist's thoughtful but disgusting choice of test subjects. "Considering that Yuu is a student of Night Raven College, did the scientist expect them to Overblot or cause any unusual effects?" Rook asks.

"Not at all," Malleus says. "He was just as surprised as us and had the gall to suggest we were the reasons they Overblotted." He glowered at the memory of the scientist's carefree smile. Outside, thunder rumbled.

". . . To be fair, most of us weren't that welcoming to them at one point or another," Ace says, causing some to sweatdrop. "They and Grim got picked on a couple of weeks ago by some of our classmates for not knowing a famous person. Not to mention, they had to witness first-hand a bunch of Overblots. That's gotta be terrifying for someone who comes from a world without magic."

"Even if we have some sort of involvement, we're not entirely to blame," Leona says. After the Magift ordeal, he spotted a few Savanaclaw members begrudgingly give a sandwich and some snacks to Yuu and Grim when they accidentally missed lunch.

"I agree with that. For one thing, Ramshackle Dorm is not a good place to live in." Jamil remembers opening a cupboard and screaming at the large spider residing within. He also remembers him, Kalim, and some others discovering mold, almost stepping into a hole in the floorboards, seeing a spider come out of nowhere or a rat poking its head out of a hole, and/or getting wet from accidentally tipping over a bucket of rainwater.

"Tell me about it! Before the roof got fixed, we kept getting bucketfuls of water crashing down on us anytime it downpoured," Grim says. "We had to keep hounding the Headmaster day-in and day-out before he finally agreed to do something about it."

"Also, when he came to Yuu about freeing students from Azul's contracts, he brought up their debt from unpaid meals. It sounded like he was threatening them," Jack adds.

"He what?!" Most of the expressions of shock came from everyone but Grim, Ace, and Deuce. Other memories sprung up of the Headmaster's less than savory moments. Hearing what Jack said further soured the mental image of the Headmaster.

"So, you mean, he was willing to withhold their meals if they didn't agree to an impossible task?" Ruggie says.

"I knew someone as kind as them didn't actually exist," Azul whispers to himself. Jack picked it up, however.

"It wasn't that they didn't want to help. They just didn't know if they would be able to."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kalim had been quietly staring at his wand during the conversation. The gem had been shiny and bright before he and the others entered the forest, but now there were small specks of ink on the surface. Knowing what he did now, and if Yuu's state could be shown on something like a Magic Stone, would he have been able to help prevent any of this? "Before they Overblotted, they cried about missing their dad and how people kept bullying their teddy bear," he says softly. "They also said they were scared of getting hurt by a spell, since they can't use magic to protect themself."

Ruggie nods. "It was depressing the way they were missing their dad. They were worried about him being dead when they got back or finding him on his death bed."

Cater had wandered near the group when he heard this. "That is depressing," he says, eyes wide. "We all know the Prefect has a wild imagination, but man, that's just on the opposite end of the spetrum of what they usually imagine."

"Still, that's not to say their worry is unfounded. Anything can happen while one is far from home," Jade says. He doesn't miss Floyd's eyebrows creasing together in displeasure and the frown that went along with it. Come to think of it, maybe the Prefect and the twins' mother weren't so different in their worries; both just want to make sure their dad or her sons were all right. "Going back to what we were talking about earlier, did the kidnapper say anything else, such as what he did to the orphans?"

"We suspect he did do something, but he wouldn't tell us," Azul says. "It was probably increasing their negative energies, since that was all he cared about."

Grim bristles and starts marching to the kidnapper. "Whatever he did, he's gonna pay for it. Especially because he messed with the Great Grim's henchman!"

"No, you don't!" Lilia plucks him up by the ribbon. "He must be in perfect condition to confess all that he did. If not, then he won't receive the entire punishment."

Grim begins to protest, but is cut off by Malleus. "Do as he says. It isn't worth wasting your energy on someone who will suffer the consequences anyway."

Finally, he relents but not without grumbling. He is dropped off next to the Prefect, and his anger tapers down upon seeing their face. Nothing has changed: their eyes are still closed and they're barely moving. He wishes they would stir or cough or something, just so he knows that they're truly still alive.

". . . Hey, Yuu is going to be all right, right?" He is met with unsure silence.

"Yuu-Yuu will be okay." Eyes land on the teddy bear, who has moved closer to Yuu's face and is pressing its cheek against their upper arm.

"What makes you so sure of that?" Leona asks.

"Because [teddy's name] did what [teddy's name] was supposed to do. [Teddy's name] asked for help from friends and teachers and nurse, and [teddy's name] showed friends and police where Yuu-Yuu was. Friends saved Yuu-Yuu from Overblot, so Yuu-Yuu will be okay."

"So. . . they'll be okay because we saved them in time?" Deuce says.

"It did happen with everyone else. Who's to say Yuu's case will be different?" Kalim says, smiling hopefully and looking around.

"That's not realistic." It's Idia who says this.

"What? Why?"

"Listen!" If Idia was there, he would have held his hands up in a "don't shoot me!" gesture. He would also have crumbled from the glares the hot-headed of the bunch were giving him. "Just because things are supposed to go a certain way doesn't mean it will. I know some of you think so too--don't try to pretend you're not. [Teddy's name], look, I don't mean to rain on your parade, but there's no guarantee that Yuu will actually recover. Not a single person in the history of Twisted Wonderland has gone through something like this. You got people's attention that something wasn't right with them and you did what you could, but sometimes… even if you pick what you think are the right choices on a blind run, you get a bad ending."

With bated breath, everyone watches the teddy bear process Idia's words. ". . . Yuu-Yuu is going to die?"

Yeah, they're going to die. Idia takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

". . . Probably."

The teddy bear glances at Yuu's face. It grips their shirt tightly. ". . . Was it because I didn't do enough?"

"I don't think you could have done anything more."

"Am. . ." The teddy bear seems to gaze tearfully at his tablet, its next words whispery and wobbly. "Am I a bad friend for not doing enough?"

"Watch what you say next, Idia," Grim warns, paws on his hips.

"H-hey, I'm not that heartless." Idia huffs. ". . . You made a good move trying to get help when you knew you couldn't do it on your own. It's the best thing you could have done and. . . you know what, sure, it was enough. No one could have stopped that scientist from kidnapping them or even the Blot from building up. Plus, I doubt you can ever be a bad friend. You two are so cuddly together it's embarrassing. It's literally a red sign that says 'Hey look everyone! We're best friends! Sucks to be you, a friendless dweeb!' So, no, you weren't a bad friend."

"You really shouldn't blame yourself for what happened. You did things for the sake of them getting better and it's just like what nii-san says: no one could have stopped the scientist or the Blot accumulation," Ortho says. "On the other hand, I actually may have had a hand in what happened."

There are exclamations of shock, the loudest coming from Idia.

"What are you talking about? All you've done is scan them and say they were fine!"

"I did say that, but that's the thing." Ortho looks away, unable to meet the tablet screen nor the eyes of his classmates and friends. "In the months leading up to the kidnapping, my sensors kept notifying me that something was wrong with Yuu whenever I hung out with them. Every time I looked into it, the notification would disappear. I thought it was just a bug even though you've debugged my sensors so many times. I even saw the notification the day I fully scanned Yuu."

His hands clench and he feels something within him squeezing. He can't feel pain like an organic being, but it's like his gears and parts are working together to tear each other apart. It just hurts. "[Teddy's name], you could feel that something was wrong. I had the functions to detect any magical abnormalities. Maybe if I had just said something--"

"Ortho, stop! This isn't your fault!" Idia's tablet closes in on his face and the screen blips to show a concerned older brother. "Look online again for incidents on magicless humans Overblotting."

"There are zero results."

"Now look through government documents and classified information."

It takes Ortho a solid minute and thirty seconds. "There are also zero results."

"Exactly. You can't search up phenomena if it has never happened before and you can't blame yourself for not realizing something when there's nothing to look out for, even if it's just a passing anecdote."

"It's just as Shroud says," Malleus says. "I have lived longer than either of you and such an event would have made itself known quite easily, if not eventually."

"Take it from me too," Lilia says, placing a hand on Ortho's shoulder. "Even though my memory is not as it once was, I'm sure I would have vague feelings of deja vu for something like this, which I don't."

"There, you see? You're blame-free." Idia offers a comforting smile. Ortho nods, and Idia moves his tablet to let him hug it. Idia wishes that he was there to actually hug his little brother, but this would have to do for now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Riddle, Trey, and Cater return to the group. Their serious expressions told everyone what they needed to know. "Ortho, how is Yuu doing?" Riddle asks. Hearing that nothing changed, his demeanor somehow becomes more serious. "At this point, we may need to bring them and the survivors out of this forest, but a number of the survivors are still unconscious and we might have difficulty finding the way out."

"Fa--Lilia, would you or Malleus be able to teleport to the police station or the hospital?" Silver asks.

"We would, but since neither of us have been injured enough for a visit or gotten into illegal matters, we don't know where either are," Lilia regretfully says. "We can try, but it may take a while."

"Come to think of it, the nurse has always been the one to treat us no matter our injuries," Jack says thoughtfully.

"And a bunch of stuff has been kept reeeeeeaaally quiet," Floyd adds.

"Idia? What about you?" Riddle prompts.

He sighs. "Negative results. And before you ask, I've tried pinpointing your location through my tablet, but nothing is showing up on the map."

"I'd fly over to either place, but I don't know if I'd have enough energy for it," Ortho says sadly.

The atmosphere thickens with worry. "Grim, you're shaking. Are you all right?" Rook says. The fire cat grumbles something, which Rook asks to repeat.

"I said… I'm a lousy boss."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Oh boy, what now?" Ace murmurs.

"I knew something was up with them. Their eyes were becoming duller every week and they were spacing out more than usual. I thought they would get cheered up by the nice things everyone was doing and I kept believing them when they said they were all right. But now…"

"What does that have to do with you being their boss, though?"

"I. . ." Grim blinked and tears ran down his cheeks. He hastily wiped them off, but more trickled out. He remembers a time when he angrily spewed out fire and Yuu's clothes caught some of the flames. They didn't need to go to the hospital or stay in the infirmary, but. . . "I hurted them. I promised I would take care of them, but I couldn't even stop their Blot from building up." His small body shook as he fully cried. "I'm their boss, I should be doing more! I should've been awake with [teddy's name] when they were being mind-controlled--"

Ace sighs and plops a hand on Grim's head. "Grim. It's okay. Remember what we all said? That this isn't our fault?"

"Y-yeah."

"Yeah, then you shouldn't beat yourself too much over it. Sure, you can be a real pain in the ass for stealing food and being reckless, but Yuu knew that you cared about them, otherwise you wouldn't have made that promise. Right?"

Grim sniffs. "Yeah."

"You could also do something for them when they wake up," Deuce suggests.

"Like share my tuna cans?"

"Erm, sure?"

"Okay, no, how about whatever they want?" Ace says. "Pretty sure they're gonna need some nice things after everything that has happened."

Grim wiped away the last of his tears and nods. "Yeah. I can do that."

He pats the Prefect's arm. "Just you wait, Yuu, you'll be cheered up by the Great Grim in no time!" His voice slightly warbles as he says, "Just. . . wake up soon, okay?"

Off to the side, Malleus crosses his arms with a concerned frown, thunder rumbling overhead. "Are you worried, Malleus?" Lilia asks.

"Yes. Their condition will not be helped unless they receive the proper care, but there is no way to contact that help and we cannot teleport to the exact location. It's a troubling situation."

#yuu/mc (twisted wonderland)#grim (twisted wonderland)#yuu's sentient teddy bear #deuce spade #ace trappola #ortho shroud #kalim al asim #rook hunt #idia shroud #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #twst angst #ruggie bucchi #🧸🖊writing

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 1 year

Text

Just Let Me Adore You Pt. 6

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: okay so... it all goes to shit here kind of lol

Genre: angst fr

Summary: You’ve been dating your boyfriend, Bruce, for 3 absolutely blissful years. He’s a scientist and professor who is as smart as he is kind and if anyone asked, you were sure you’d spend the rest of your life with him. That is until two mysteriously charming men that Bruce swears are dangerous take an interest in you that threatens to turn your entire life upside down. I mean… what exactly are you supposed to do with two gorgeous men telling you something that suggests that basically everything you think you know is a lie? And why does part of you have enough doubt to wonder if they might be telling the truth?

Series Masterlist

***

"Mom- how could you not tell me?" You ask her forcing yourself to remain calm.

"Well, your father and I-"

"Daddy knows too?" You ask quietly because the idea that your parents agreed to keep you in the dark makes this whole thing that much harder to process.

"Of course he does."

"Why would you keep this a secret from me?"

"Because we weren't sure you'd ever turn."

"What?"

"In both your father and I we have a rare genetic thing, our wolf genes are dormant. Neither of us can turn- we thought, maybe you wouldn't be able to either and we didn't want the pressure of knowing that to affect you growing up. It can be very hard, being a wolf who can't be a wolf. We worried that if we told you that you would go through middle and high school thinking you were broken because you never turned. It's- wonderful that you have! I can tell you anything you want to know now that-"

"I haven't." You mutter.

"You haven't?"

"I haven't turned."

"Then- where did the question come from? How did you suspect you were a werewolf if you haven't turned?"

"I got clocked." You mutter.

"You got clocked?!"

"Yep. Some guys, near strangers, actually told me I was a werewolf. I've been mulling it over for like the past month wondering if it was even possible. I finally decided to just give you a call and put the whole thing to rest."

"Okay, wait strangers told you? How would they know?"

"They're werewolves. There are actually quite a few of them out here apparently mom."

"And one of them realized you were one?"

"Two of them but, it would appear so. And now I have a second problem."

"What is it baby?"

"These same men that told me I was a werewolf, told me Bruce has known this whole time." You say.

"Bruce your scientist boyfriend?"

"Yes mom my scientist boyfriend, who specializes in studying supernatural creatures. Would've been nice to know I WAS ONE before committing three years to him!" You huff.

"Wait you never told us he studied supernaturals. Why would you leave that out?"

"Because why would my human parents care about what he's sciencing mom?!" You scoff.

"You're okay with him experimenting on supernaturals as long as you aren't one?!"

"He doesn't experiment on them he does pretty much exclusively observational research as far as I know. Mom, what do I do if he's known this whole time and kept it from me? How do I even ask him something like that?"

"Be direct. And look out for the tells."

"Tells?"

"I know as a kid you had such sensitive hearing you could tell if someone was coming to the house before they even reached the front porch and I'm sure by now you've learned to manage that sensory response but if you can focus, you'll be able to hear his heart, hear his breathing change. If you can't focus watch for if he makes eye contact, or if he starts fidgeting, sweating, or pacing. Those are the tells of a liar. Plus regardless of if he's known all this time or not, I don't like the idea of you dating someone that treats our kind like lab rats."

"Okay well, I guess my life is imploding. I'll call you later. I have questions about this werewolf thing but I must first sort out the boyfriend drama." You tell her.

"Alright dear, take care of yourself hm? And tell Wanda I said hello."

"HI MOM! BYE MOM!" Wanda shouts before you hang up.

"Bye Wanda dear!" She says and the call ends there.

"So- you're a werewolf. I was right!" Wanda practically squeals in excitement.

"Okay you need to calm down." You tell her.

"I need to calm down?! How are you not less calm?"

"I think I'm still in shock. Kind of. But also I've been considering this for a while now. Plus Steve and Bucky being right about this means they might also be right about Bruce."

"You really think Bruce knew you were a werewolf this whole time and kept it from you?" Wanda frowns.

"Believe me I don't want to but I have to consider it. He swore Steve and Bucky were delusional liars and- if they were telling the truth about the wolf thing why would they lie about Bruce?"

"So are you going to ask him?"

"I have to. Don't I?"

"Unless you have access to his research yeah."

"How would access to his research help me avoid asking?"

"Well, for him to find out even though you didn't know, he'd have to have run a blood test or something on you at some point and I'm sure he kept them on file somewhere."

"I'll just ask him. I wouldn't feel comfortable going through his files anyway."

"I dunno considering it's likely that he's been running tests on you fuck his privacy in my opinion. Do you have access to his research?"

"Technically, yes, but he takes his laptop to the lab with him usually. I wouldn't be able to go through it without him here. It'll just be quicker to ask him. Mom says I should be able to tell if he's lying about it." You shrug.

"Well there ya go." She says.

"Would it be awful if I waited?" You grimace. The thought of this makes your stomach turn.

"No, it's gonna be a tough confrontation you should do it when you feel ready. Although it's probably not good to let it fester. Can I ask what's holding you back?"

"If he's lying I need to be prepared to leave and I wanna have that in order first-"

"I can't believe you're saying that as if I'm not right here! Pack a bag or two right now and I'll take your stuff to my place. As soon as you find out he's lying head right out the door and come to mine."

"Wait- do you think he's lying Wanda?"

"How should I know?"

"You said as soon as I find out he's lying, as if he for sure is and it's just a matter of confirming. You think Steve and Bucky are right about this?"

"They were right about you being a werewolf. You said it yourself, if they weren't lying about that why this?" She shrugs. "I know you love Bruce but it's not farfetched that in 3 years with all he knows about supernaturals, he suspected you were one, like I did, but unlike me he did what he could to confirm that suspicion."

"Oh." You frown.

"I'm sorry y/n. I don't want to believe that he would do that to you, but you know I've always had my reservations about him."

"No I- I know. It's a valid thought. I mean Steve and Bucky were right about one thing and if I was so sure they were wrong about Bruce I wouldn't feel the need to ask him in the first place but- the ethics of his research have always been a point of contention for me so, I'm not surprised we're here anyway."

"Honestly if he's been telling the truth that's great, but what you should pay more attention to is how he reacts to the question regardless. I mean- everything you thought you knew just got flipped on its head he should understand why that would raise more questions especially since the source of one truth is the source of this information."

"I dunno he's been pretty agitated about this whole wolf mafia thing. Every time we talk about Steve and Bucky he's like in hyper defense. Sometimes it feels like he doesn't believe I can think for myself. If I'm not agreeing with him he says it's because I'm too naive or too trusting or whatever."

"That's- kind of ugly." Wanda mutters and you laugh.

"He's paranoid and he feels guilty."

"Guilty?"

"Because if I'm in danger it's because of his research all those years ago. Not that anyone has made any indication that I'm in danger it's just- knowing all of these supposed mobsters are in my social vicinity he assumes they're just waiting to strike. Circling me like sharks." You chuckle.

"If anything it seems like they're circling to protect though?"

"Bruce would have an aneurysm even trying to consider that possibility." You scoff.

"Okay well, pack some things. You don't have to take him on today but since I'm here we'll pack your evacuation stuff now and just keep it at mine til you do."

"Maybe I should be giving him the benefit of the doubt." You sigh as you pull your small suitcase out of your closet.

"I think you're giving plenty of benefit by bothering to ask him and not just assuming he's lying."

"Yeah but- packing like this? As if I'm expecting to hear a lie and need to escape?" You frown, folding up clothes and packing them into the suitcase without much thought.

"Hope for the best but prepare for the worst that's what you always say. I know it's hard when the worst is that your boyfriend betrayed your trust but it'll be easier to face if you're ready for that possibility."

"Right. Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst." You nod.

"So- if the werewolves end up being right about him, what's your plan with them?"

"My plan with them?"

"Yeah, like- will you go talk to them?"

"I dunno. I have no way of contacting them Wanda they just kind of appear every couple of weeks. It's not like I can go looking."

"I think you could." She shrugs.

"How does one go looking for werewolf possibly crime lords?"

"Well you said Peter knows two of their men?"

"Maybe. I mean Peter knows two of the werewolf mobsters yes but. That only helps if Steve and Bucky really are on top like Bruce thinks they are. If not the last thing I wanna do is have more werewolves looking for me."

"Hm, I guess dealing with Steve and Bucky can wait. First we deal with Bruce." She tells you.

"Yeah sure- I guess so." You agree and finish packing your things for her to take to her place. Despite Wanda's conviction on the matter, you don't have the courage to confront Bruce when he comes home that night. You have dinner and discuss his day and wind down together like you do every other night. You pretend that nothing is wrong and can I just say you are one hell of an actress because Bruce does not suspect a thing. In fact you sit on this information for days before you deal with anything and it's not exactly by choice. The bell at the front of the store rings and you greet the way you always do.

"Hello! Welcome in!" You call, looking up to see Wanda walking towards you with serious conviction. "Uh oh." You mutter.

"Hi Peter!" Wanda says without even looking for him knowing he works pretty much every shift with you at this point.

"Miss Wanda! Hi!" Peter pokes his head into view from behind some shelves. Wanda waves at him and then turns her attention to you with a point.

"You." She says.

"Me."

"You need to talk to him." Wanda says.

"I will! I just-"

"No no you just nothing. You've been sitting on this for over four days. What are you gonna do just pretend it's all okay for the rest of your life?" She crosses her arms. You knew this was coming, and to her credit, she has left you to your devices until now.

"No of course not, but- I'm not ready." You sigh.

"Y/n right now you don't know if you can trust him and that's something you need to sort out because a relationship without trust is like, jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. Death waiting to happen."

"Sorry I'm not eager to risk blowing up my entire relationship." You shrug.

"Newsflash the fact that you're in this situation at all means your relationship is probably already fucking doomed. Especially if the truth is what we're worried that it is, then your relationship has been over for a looooong time."

"Ouch." You frown.

"Honey if he's been lying to you this whole time then he thinks you're a fool. Do not let him make a fool of you. When you get off work, talk to him or I will come to your apartment and accuse him myself."

"That is a terrible idea." You shake your head.

"I know, the point is to light a fire under your butt so you take care of it yourself. Because you know I'll do it."

"Why can't you just let me do this on my own time?" You pout.

"I wish I could but as your best friend it would be irresponsible for me to pretend that I'm okay with this ignorance is bliss act you have going on to protect your relationship with a man who we suspect is lying to you. All you're doing is wasting your time and I can't in good conscience allow that to go on especially because in a few months you'll probably bitch at me if I do and if I were in your shoes you would have my head."

"I know you're right but I hate you for it."

"You will thank me later, and I will maybe see you tonight. At the very least I expect a text or I'll be banging on your door by this time tomorrow." She leans over the counter and kisses your cheek before sauntering out of the store.

"What a terror." You sigh to yourself.

"Wanda left?" Peter asks coming up to the counter.

"Yeah. She only came in to yell at me in person so I couldn't ignore her."

"Yell at you for what?" Peter laughs.

"Avoiding my problems. Honestly Peter the best and worst thing you can do is have a best friend that will ride your ass because they will have your back but man is it annoying to hear when you're not acting in your own best interest." You roll your eyes and he laughs some more.

"I'll- keep that in mind. I don't have much in the way of friends honestly so, I'd say you're pretty lucky to have her."

"Aw come on Sam and Clint don't ride you about being responsible and shit?" You ask.

"They're barely responsible themselves." He snorts.

"Fine then I'll be accountability friend."

"You'll be my accountability friend?"

"Yeah! I'm already Wanda's. Usually. Right now my life is minorly in shambles so she's mine but we swap as necessary. I can do the same for you." You say ruffling his hair. Peter makes a face but he doesn't complain about your affection. He never does.

"I mean you don't have to-" Peter trails off.

"I know but, you're a sweet kid. I'm sure I've got tons of advice I can offer you." You shrug.

"Oh- I appreciate it. You've been real nice to me since I started here so, thanks."

"Of course Peter." You smile at him. The rest of your shift passes quicker than you'd like it to because now as you're closing up with Peter you're thinking about the conversation you now have to have with Bruce. When you unlock your apartment the smell of food hits you first. You kick off your shoes and walk into the kitchen where Bruce is pulling a tray out of the oven.

"Hey Brucey." You say.

"Hi babe, welcome home." He says.

"Thank you. What'd you make?" You ask him, setting the table for you to eat.

"Stuffed peppers and roasted potatoes."

"Sounds good!"

"You're just in time to try them." Bruce puts the peppers on a serving plate and walks them over to the table with the potatoes. The two of you sit down and eat together, mostly in silence, but eventually, when your plates are almost empty, you initiate conversation.

"So how was your day? Did you go to the lab today?" You ask him.

"I did yeah. Nothing terribly interesting happened really just analyzing data and whatnot." He shrugs. "How was your day? Any shitty customers today?"

"Not particularly, we don't tend to get a lot of those anyway. Wanda came to visit for a little bit but that's about all." You tell him.

"That's nice." He nods and you feel your heartbeat start thundering as you convince yourself to get to the point.

"Yeah. I need to talk to you about something actually." You say standing to clear your dinner plate. You feel like if you walk you can dispel the nervous tension you're feeling.

"Oh? What's up babe?"

"You know how Steve and Bucky said I was a werewolf?"

"Yes and we agreed they were delusional. Why? Did you run into them again?" Bruce shifts in his chair to look at you as you lean against the counter by the sink.

"No, I haven't seen them since the last time we spoke about them a couple weeks ago it's just- well I finally called my mom about the whole thing-"

"Why would you call your mom if their claims are baseless?"

"Becuase it was the easiest way to put an end to any doubt it's not that big of a deal, I call my mom for all sorts of things Bruce."

"I mean sure but it's a weird question to ask her since you aren't-"

"Except I am." You say, crossing your arms. You barely catch Bruce's eyes widen before he turns back around in his chair so his back is facing you. He takes his time pushing the seat back to stand up while you keep talking. "Yeah according to my mom I actually am a werewolf. She never told me because of a dormant gene in our family, but I definitely am one. Steve and Bucky were telling the truth." You say. Bruce clears his throat and walks over to the sink placing his dinner plate into it.

"Well how are you feeling about it? I mean this is sort of big-"

"What I want to know, is if you already knew." You cut him off backing up a bit to put more space between you.

"What?" He asks with a little chuckle that you think is nervousness.

"Steve and Bucky were right about me being a werewolf, so it begs the question were they also right about you knowing and keeping it from me?"

"Oh come on that's ridiculous, for me to somehow find that out and hide part of your identity from you? I can't believe you'd even entertain the notion." He shakes his head. You look him over carefully, considering your mother's advice. He's not sweating, but he also hasn't looked at you since you said you were a werewolf, he's not exactly pacing but you look down and realize he's rolling his fingers together. "Y/n, come on you can't seriously think that I'd deceive you that way can you? I mean these strangers get one lucky guess and suddenly you trust them more than me?" Bruce adds when the silence drags on longer than he'd like. His heart, focus on his heartbeat. You take another few seconds to try and pick it up. When you really focus like this you can pick up on so many things it can be overwhelming but you force yourself to pick up his heart rate and it's not as steady as it should be. Not full blown panicked pounding but definitely nervously fast.

"I don't know who I can trust Bruce." You say.

"Me! I've never given you a reason to think otherwise. You can trust me. Why would I lie to you?"

"It makes sense."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does. Your supernaturals research is your life. I mean you've studied enough werewolves, it's not impossible to think that you'd know you're sharing a home with one or suspect it and convince yourself it's necessary to investigate those suspicions."

"I can't believe you think I would do that to you."

"I don't want to. God knows I don't want to but it's hard not to when you won't even look at me. You haven't looked at me since I told you I was a werewolf and you always look at me when we talk. It's hard when I know how much supernatural studies takes up your life, I know you've tracked and trapped werewolves before so you obviously know how to identify one, but I'm supposed to believe you wouldn't be able to clock one sharing a bed with you?! It's hard when at every turn you tried to convince me Bucky and Steve were crazy. You swore it was impossible for them to be right about this and now look at where we are. The impossible is not only possible it's true. So if they were telling the truth about one thing, why not the other? And when I think about it, like really think about it, since the second 'lie' is dependant on believing the first 'lie'- if you really thought they were insane and lying to manipulate me, why were you so against me calling my parents to find out? I mean if you truly believed it was false a quick call to confirm that would've immediately dismissed the second lie and we wouldn't be here. Your continued objection doesn't make sense unless you knew they weren't lying."

"This is ridiculous y/n I love you, I would never hurt you-"

"If you're lying to me Bruce you've already hurt me. And the fact that you have yet to actually deny it is enough of an answer."

"ALL I'VE DONE IS DENY IT!"

"NO YOU HAVEN'T! You've said it's ridiculous, you've said you can't believe I think that, you've said you'd never hurt me, you've it doesn't make sense, you've said I trust them more than you, but you have not at any point said 'no y/n I didn't already know you were a werewolf and kept it a secret from you.' So yeah, I'll take that as a confession."

"You- you started this conversation assuming I was guilty."

"Do not turn this on me Bruce. If you can't look me in the eye right now and say you didn't know I was a werewolf and keep it a secret from me... I'm leaving."

"And going where? To those crime lords, y/n they do not have your best interests in mind. You'll get hurt."

"Say it Bruce. Say you didn't know." You say quietly. There's a stretch of silence that you take as your answer and without another word, you put on your shoes and grab your bag still by the door.

"Y/n wait!" Bruce says before you can leave.

"You still can't say the one thing I asked of you." You say pulling open the apartment door and leaving without even looking at him.

***

Part 6/???

Tagged Users: @cjand10 @vicmc624 @mandijo17

#marvel fanfiction #marvel #stucky fanfic #stucky x reader #stucky fluff #stucky smut #stucky #stucky angst #werewolf bucky barnes #werewolf steve rogers #werewolf au #Just Let Me Adore You #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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taffycandyqt · 7 months

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hi, just saw requests are open! can you write a oneshot where 2012!raph comes down with a stomach bug and his brothers and splinter help him through it?

I'm gonna me honest when I first got this request I was at such a loss for what to write, but then the idea to have Raph and Splinter have a heart to heart came to mind and I just 🫢

TMNT 2012

Fluff! Comfort

Platonic family stuff (none of that nasty fam shipping)

Warnings: mentions of vomit and throwing up, slight angst

Raph comes down with a stomach bug and his family does everything they can to help him.

It was Mikey's fault.

How? I don't know.

But after waking up in the middle of the night to hurl his guts out in the toilet, Raph figured that one way or another, it was Mikey's fault.

That morning he wasn't feeling any better but he'd rather go to morning training with a broken leg then miss something important. How else was he supposed to stay better than Leo?

And that mindset, is what leads us to the current moment. Leo standing in front of Raph, ready to fight, while he pukes onto the floor. Splinter immediately stopped the lesson to check on him, while Donnie froze, Mikey gagged, and Leo asked Raph if he was okay.

"My son! Raphael, what happened?" Splinter asked. Raph however could not answer. Even though he was no longer vomiting he couldn't stop gagging. Eventually, he was able to stop but it took a second.

"I-I'm fine sensei. I can continue."

"No."

"Sensei, I swear I'm okay!"

"You may be okay, but the mats are not. Go rest. Donatello, Michelangelo, go get cleaning supplies to help me with this mess. Leonardo, make sure Raphael gets to bed."

"Aw sensei, do we really have to clean that up?" Complained Donnie.

"Yeah that straight up nasty dude." Mikey agreed.

"Would you rather take your brother to sleep?"

The pair looked over to Leo and Raph as they fought. Raph getting violent trying to keep Leo off him even to the point of using his sais. While Leo was trying to push him out of the dojo and convince him that a little rest wouldn't kill him. At that moment a chill ran up Raph's spine and he chucked up a little bit more of his breakfast onto Leo's foot.

"I'll go get the disinfectant." Donnie stated and Mikey followed after him.

After everyone finished with their respective chores Donnie talked to Raph to get a synopsis on his symptoms. Though he couldn't call them symptoms because that would imply Raph was sick.

And Raph never gets sick. (🙄)

Afterward Donnie shuffled to his lab while doing some research on his computer to start on some medicine for Raph.

Splinter was in the kitchen making Raph some rice porridge. It was light on the stomach with a mild taste so Splinter hoped he would be able to keep it down.

Mean while Leo was trying to keep Mikey out of Raph's room so he could sleep. Mikey insisted the best way to get better was for a bro to read you comics till the awesomeness of the characters scared the sickness away.

"No."

"Awwwwwww come onnnn Leo! It's what he needs dude!"

"What he needs is sleep, if you really want to help go help Splinter make him food or Donnie with the medicine."

Was it a good idea? Maybe not, but at least it would stall Mikey for a little bit.

"I can't sleep if you all are YELLING OUTSIDE MY ROOM!" Raph shouted. And with that Leo was dragging Mikey away from Raph's door in the direction of the Living room. At that moment Splinter was walking towards them with a bowl in hand.

"My sons, how is he feeling?"

"He being moody, so that's good at least." Answered Mikey. This earned him a light smack on the head from Leo.

"I got him to bed but I don't think he's asleep yet." Leo finally spoke, giving an actual answer.

"I see." Was all Splinter said before continuing in the direction of his sick son. Upon entering his room he found Raph not resting but rather sitting on the side of his bed, lights on, fiddling with his sais. Raph looked towards the door with an unhappy expression as Splinter entered.

"You should be resting."

"I told you I'm fine."

"Someone who is 'Fine' would not vomit for no reason." as Splinter said this, he sat the porridge on his desk table while he took a seat on the rolly chair across from Raph.

"It was probably Mikey's breakfast or something." Raph stated a tad agitated.

"Oh? None of you brothers seemed to suffer from the same issue. Did Michelangelo not make them the same breakfast?"

"I DON'T KNOW MAYBE HE USED ROTTEN CRAP IN MINE!"

"Why would your brother do that?"

Raph didn't respond to this. He looked away mearly shrugged. Deep down he knew it was ridiculous, to blame Mikey, but this whole situation just felt so dumb. He hated being treated like he was weak. He hated all this attention. Did he want Splinter's attention? DUH! But not like this. He wanted the attention he gave to Leo. To be treated like he was understood. Like he was enough. Like his flaws didn't matter in the face of all his strengths. But no. No matter how hard he worked the only time Splinter treated him like he mattered is when he's a problem. Is when is need to be fixed.

"Raphael, why are you so reluctant to admit you are sick?"

"..."

"My son, everyone gets sick. It is nothing to be ashamed of."

"Easy for you to say." Raph said, not meaning to speak that out loud.

"And why would you say that?"

"Uuuuuuh..."

"Raphael, I cannot understand how you are feeling if you never tell me."

Raph scoffed, "I have told you. I've told you over and over. But it's always the same. Control you anger Raph, it's self destructive, it hurts you and everyone around you. GREAT! Who new that the best way to CONTROL YOUR ANGER WAS TO JUST CONTROL IT! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT! But ohhhhhhhh because I don't know how to control my self like Mr. Perfect fearless leader Leo I'm just a mess. I'M 'TEMPERAMENTAL' AND 'MOODY' AND 'IMMATURE'. SORRY?! YOU ALWAYS TELL ME TO CONTROL MY ANGER, BUT HOW!?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IN YOU IS JUST BUBBLING BELOW THE SURFACE?! ITS LIKE WRAPPING A WATER BALLOON IN TISSUE PAPER! DOES THE TISSUE PAPER COVER IT? YEAH! BUT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE NEEDLE AND IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY LAYERS OF PAPER YOU HAVE IT WONT MATTER CUZ THE BALLOON WILL STILL BURST AND EVERYONE WILL GET WET AND IT'LL BE ALL YOUR FAULT EVEN THOUGH YOU TRIED TO COVER THE BALLOON BUT ALL YOU WERE GIVEN WAS FRICKIN TISSUE PAPER! AND IT'S NOT LIKE YOU MEANT TO POP THE BALLOON BUT SOMEONE SHOVED A NEEDLE ON YOUR HAND AND KEPT YELLING AT YOU TO POP IT EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T WANT TO BUT THEY KEEP YELLING AT YOU TILL YOU JUST DO IT JIST SO THEY'LL SHUT IT BUT NOW EVERYONE HATES YOU AND YOU HAVE TO KEEP DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN OVER AND OVER BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON EVERYONE HATES WATER!

Raph huffed to catch his breath but he wasn't done.

"I know I'm not your favorite. but being sick just makes it more apparent that the only time I am a priority is when I do something wrong."

"My son..." Splinter was at a loss. He hasn't realized just how much weight Raph was carrying hand how his treatment of his brothers in comparison him had effected him.

"I am sorry."

"W-what?"

"I have always done what I believe would be best in order to raise you and your brothers. However I had not realized how greatly you were struggling and how my response to your struggle had effected you emotionally. You are not a burden Raphael. You are my son, my family, and I love you. I am sorry that I made you feel less important that you brothers and I'm sorry if my actions made it seem as though I favor Leonardo over you. I have always been proud of your skill and impressed by the speed of your progression. That is why I pushed you so hard in regards to your anger, as I could see how it was holding you back from tapping the true potential I see in you. From now on a will make a better effort to understand your needs so we can work on your struggles together."

Raph was speechless. He genuinely believed that Splinter didn't care about him as much as he did Leo or the others. He had waited for so long for someone or something to prove him wrong, and he was so happy it finally happened. As Splinter embraced his son Raph began to cry. He cried hard and afterwards he felt refreshed. He felt lighter now that his mind was clear and he had finally said all that he's always wanted to.

"I think I'm ready to rest now sensei."

"Good. Sleep well my son."

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I'm not gonna lie, getting an idea for this one was hard and I avoided it for so long😭 but once I got it rolling I'm actually kinda happy with how it turned out.😍

#raph #raph tmnt #2012 raph #tmnt 2012 #2012 Raph deserved better #master splinter #2012 master splinter #2012 donnie #2012 leo #2012 mikey #oneshot #Comfort #father son bonding

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