#and casting fireball but its lightning

[one-in-a-nillion]

Not related to todays Revenant Inclusa session (might draw stuff from that later) but. mwehehe

[guiltygearconfessions]

dnd 5e builds for base strive cast (+ goldlewis!)

Sol: either an Artificer (Battlesmith) w a Barbarian (Totem) dip where his Steel Defender is his bike and Elk/Bear rage is dragon install OR a Wizard (Bladesinger) with a belt (headband) of giant strength and Tasha's Otherworldy Guise as his DI

Ky: Hexbalde Warlock w a Battlemaster Fighter dip since he seems charismatic and his patron cld be the Thunderseal. His manouevres: Trip (Stun Dipper), Lunge (Foudre Arc), Riposte (Vapor Thrust). Meanwhile, Eldritch Blast = Stun Edge, Booming Blade = Dire Eclat, can blow his limited spell slots on Lightning Bolt (Sacred Edge) or Hasted Booming Blades + Relentless Hex or just Thunder Step (RTL). Possibly take a sorc (Storm) dip or the Metamagic Adept feat to transmute spell and change his damage types to lightning + gain flying speed.

May: Ranger (Beastmaster) for sea animal shenanigans. Possible dips into Paladin (Devotion, to the Jellyfish Pirates) or Fighter (Cavalier) for mounted combat features and bonuses (e.g. Find Greater Steed)

Axl: Ranger (Horizon Walker) + Monk (Kensei)/Fighter (Battlemaster). The boring and "correct" answer here is pure bladesinger wiz using a flavoured whip for the Time Stop spell, but the teleportation offered by Horizon Walker and the idea of slipping between planes of existence seems flavourful. Ranger features also have a bit more trap laying flavour. Monk bonuses for movement speed + unarmoured defense to remain slippery while dressing casual.

Chipp: Monk (Shadow) with the Fey Touched and Shadow Touched feats for access to Shadow Teleport + Misty Step + Shadow Blade and maybe a small spellcaster dip into Sorcerer (Shadow) if only to get Quickened Spell for ninja flavour + Mirror Image (multiple Chipps!)

Potemkin: although a pure Fighter (Champion) is tempting, the 4 attacks per turn feels at odds w the slower, lumbering idea of Potemkin. Instead I propose DM fiat to allow smiting while Unarmed, then build Potemkin as a Variant Human (base feat used to learn Unarmed Fighting style) with full Paladin (Glory or Redemption). His devotion and larger than life presence give him moral power behind his blows which are weighty (big ass smites) but infrequent (2 per turn). The other athleticism, tanky abilities come from his Paladin subclass features. Spells like Command and Compelled Duel reflect his intimidating presence and ability to control the field. Spells like Thunderous Smite and Destructive Wave reflect his sheer terrain-altering strength. Feats could include Grappler, Tavern Brawler, Tough.

Faust: Pure Wild Magic Sorcerer or an even split btwn Wild Magic Sorc and Life Cleric. Dimension Door/Misty Step for teleports. Items could represent by: Meteors (Minute Meteors), Bomb (Delayed Blast Fireball), 100T Weight (Earth Tremor/Earthquake), Donut/Banana (Healing Word/Cure Wounds), Afro (reflavoured Web since its also a control debuff that turns into damage after fire exposure), Minifaust (so many summon spells but I like the idea of Guardian of Faith from Cleric), Trumpet (Insect Plague), Hammer (Catapult). And then Haste can be used with Quickened Spell to simulate item throw super. Tack on a couple fighter levels perhaps to Action Surge and emulate the 100 tension version + give some oomph to the occasional scalpel normal.

Millia: not base dnd but i think she fits a Blood Hunter (Lycan) pretty well. The flavour of undergoing a dangerous and forbidden procedure for power, the hair transformations... probably uses Rite of the Oracle (psychic) and Blood Curse of Binding (tandem top) to hold enemies in place for devastating up close "mixups" while still remaining highly mobile.

Zato: Fighter (Echo Knight) w a Monk (Long Death) dip (or, potentially, Undead Warlock). Fragile but frequently summonable puppet fighter w a Monk dip for the "unarmoured melee fighter" vibe + undying flavour or Warlock dip for more spell slinging vibe+ access to flight spells.

Ramlethal: taking a bit more from her Xrd incarnation, a mixed Cleric (Twilight) for access to Spiritual Weapon for the "remote/hovering sword" + a hover/fly movement rather than regular walking and a Warlock (Hexblade) with the Eldritch Smite invocation to burn spell slots for chunky damage that knocks enemies flat on their asses (Mortobato).

Leo: Rogue (Swashbuckler ) + Barbarian (Totem). Probably a Tiger/Elk Barb for the movement speed and the animalistic vibe, while the Rogue levels and Swashbuckler features give the idea of a speedy duelist who occasionally snipes out big damage hits from "converting" movement speed based mixups. (also Swashbucklers benefit from Charisma, which leo definitely has since hes led so many soldiers to their deaths 🥰)

Nago: Fighter (Samurai). I think a majority of Nago's features and design are reflected in this subclass- the idea of a fighter who takes a slow and measured approach while occasionally bursting into a flurry of sudden violence. The high level Samurai feature of taking another turn upon getting dropped also kind of feels like Nago blood rage- a last second gambit at the verge of defeat type of deal.

Gio: Monk (Astral Self). Gio's features as an unarmed, unarmoured, mobile fighter w a not-quite animal spirit are perfectly encapsulated in this subclass, down to her appearance transformations at high tension

Anji: Bard (Swords) with Fighter (Battlemaster) dip and the Dual Wielder feat. Swords Bard explains his armoured twirl (Defensive Flourish) and other more magical effects like the butterfly, koi, and his cinematic super. Battlemaster Trip (rekka low), Push (corner carry off fuujin), Sweep (spinny spins), Parry/Riposte (dedicated counters).

I-No: Oddly enough i dont think she's a pure bard. If anything, I think her style seems more offense oriented than support, so she probably has way more Sorcerer (storm) levels for flying and her other magic shit. For her Bard dip, probably a Whispers bard to play into her role as a mysterious and menacing antagonist figure.

Goldlewis: Paladin (Watchers) with a Warlock (GoO) dip. Watchers paladins already deal w abberations and aliens, and his smites could be flavoured as his big behemoth typhoons/down with the system. Warlock spells and blast reflect the gadgets stored by his alien.

Wow! Points for being so thorough! This is cool

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 97

Are they ... are they NOT doing a sponsorship plug this time? Just straight to the announcements? Interesting ... not complaining, mind ... more time for GAME, after all ...

Well then, so it's just STRIGHT INTO THE GAME, then ... okay then ... maybe that's a GOOD sign ... O.O

Yeah, that was A LOT of failed teleportations ...

Stright into an Initiative Roll ... wonderful ... cue Wizzkids plug!

An Essek sandwich? I wouldn't say no ... XD

Ashton's going to RAGE ... he charges in and just immediately starts swinging! Yeah, I should imagine 30 would hit ... and now he's been sprayed with acid blood! Of course he has ... and now it's STUCK TO HIS HAMMER!!! Fuck ... so he tries to BEAT IT OFF ... splat! Oh yeah, that just DESTROYED IT.

Great, they're swarming already ... might not have been the smartest move to just run staright into 'em, Ashton ... now they're going fot Laudna ... holy shit, Matt is rolling BALLS right now, ALL THREE attacks fail to gain purchase on her! XD But a couple of them do manage to bite Ashton ... eurgh ...

Fearne casts Flaming Sphere on the big thing! She torches the fucker ... but she's doing it at a higher level so it may be about to get weird ... oh boy ...oof ... roll a D20 then, Ashley ... 14? Phew ... she's safe ... bloody Wild Magic ... then she hides out again ...

Orym uses his fancy boots to jump over Chetney and rush in behind the monster ... Goading Attack! Yeah, Wee Man ... Matt fails his Wisdom save ... whoa ... did Liam REALLY just roll a Nat1 he COULDN'T reroll? Holy shit ... very first time for this Campaign ... oh well ... Tripping Attack! Wait ... this thing can REGENERATE? Boooo! Then he disengages and it gets an aAttack of Opportunity ... and HITS HIM!!! Crap! Thankfully he manages to clear his Strength Save so it doesn't smash him on the spot ... thank the gods for that shield ...

Essek glides into the fray and starts weaving a spell ... a Gravity Fissure? Holy fuck, Hot Boi! Okay, so ... that's doing good, but also thoroughly perilous for the group too! Maybe this wasn't the SMARTEST move right now ... don't suck everybody into a bloody mini Black Hole!

So it's the Monster's turn ... here comes the ridiculously huge hammer ... oh shit, CENTRE MAW!!! It bites at Orym ... crap! 24 points of Piercing damage ... and now it's FUCKING CHEWING HIM!!! Meanwhile it makes a swing for Dorian ... fuck, that just batteres Dorian hard enough he gets knocked CLEAN THROUGH the nearby building ... ouch ...

Dorian picks himself up and sets off his Winged Boots, then flies over to the Monster, then casts a 5TH lEVEL LIGHTNING BOLT!!! Holy shit ... Imogen, meanwhile, coordinates with him and does the exact same thing! Cool ... Matt fails both saves! Sweet! 10 D5 Lightning damage from EACH OF THEM!!! 40 from Dorian, 42 from Imogen! Holy fuck! CRACKADOOM!!! Thor's in the House!

Oh crap ... what did Imogen do? Laura has to roll a D100 ... Wild Magic strikes again ... 4? a Fireball explodes RIGHT ON TOP of Imogen? Holy shit ... Laudna manages to make her save, at least ... Laura: "At least I'm not a sheep." Yeah ...

Chetney unleashes Turmoil and casts Shatter against the Monster ... 20 Thundr dmage halved right up its butt ... then he starts to circle round as cautious as he can for a better vantage point ...

Laudna decides to try something NEW, unleashing Void Puppet on it ... that is some FREAKY SHIT right there, Dead Girl! Oh yeah, that spirit effect is just HORRIFYING ... now she dumps a Fireball on as many of the crawlies as she can ... BOOM!!! Using a Sorcery point to Empower, she lands 38 points of Fire damage on each of them and annihilates THREE of the fuckers ... and now the tent's on fire ..

Ashton triggers a Hyper-Rage and charges the Monster, leaving WEIRD streaks and after images behind him ... while Taliesin elbows Liam in his funny-bone, Ashton inflicts 25 points of Gravitational damage on it and shoves it hard backwards ... then he leaps on top of it to swing his hammer HARD down to land another SMASHING hit ... BOOM!!!

Fearne pops out Mister and chucks him close to Laudna, then throws a Scorching Ray at 3rd Level at the Monster ... one miss THREE hits! Sweet! 17 points of Fire damage, plus 7 more thanks to Mister ... and it does NOTHING to the creature? Shit! It's immune to fire? NOOOOOOOO!!!

Orym takes another 19 points of piercing damage from the maw ... then pulls a Misty Step to pop OUT of its mouth and run up its arm, then goes swinging ... he proper carves it up, doing some genuine damage ... it's like carving through dead meat? Yuck ... one last hit and he gets the HDYWTDT!!! Yes! Down it goes!

Oh ... so there's SOMETHING moving off in the distance somewhere ... is it a potential threat? Hmmmm ...

Yeah, might be best to put the tent-fire out ...

Motivational Speech? Nice one, Dorian! 4th Level ... that's 10 temp hit points to five of them and temp advantage on saves ... cool ...

GO FOR THE TOWER!!! FAST!!!

Not particularly safe, then ... but it's a hiding place, at least ...

Weird fur-less oversized wolves ... charming ... with eyeballs on the end of theit overlong tails? Freaky ...

Crap ... something else is coming from another direction? Great ...

Oh yeah, a Short Rest might be a good idea ...

Weird gorilla-like things? Also creepy ...

There's something horrible on the ceiling grabbing things? Oh my FUCKING GODS that is nightmare fuel ... O.O

Pass Without a Trace ... group Stealth check with advantage ...

Oh yeah, the gigantic sinkhole ... flying would likely be helpful to avoid THAT shit ... oh yeah! Dorian could TOTALLY carry Orym, that would be IMMENSELY helpful. Also it'll be REALLY fun for the shippers too ... XD

So this was a hole from something being blasted up and out, then ... lovely ... oh, they're going down INTO IT ... great ... O.O

The smell of ASSSSSSSS ... LOL

Tingly, creepy, oppressive ... just WRONG, basically. This place is NOT a good place to be ...

The Occultus Thalamus ... yeah ...

That is ... A LONG FUCKING WAY DOWN ... O.O

Awwww ... remembering FCG ... please don't, I'm not strong enough ...

Touchdown, then ... yeah, this place is a mess ... but it's also CLEARLY been disturbed ... another leftover Vanguard camp, it seems ... and something weird ... breathing in the dark distance ... oh, that's just PEACHY ...

Is that blood? Hmmmm ... sniff check for Chet ... not fresh, then ... it's a smear from something being dragged off into the dark ... charming ... that's not, like, FOREBODING at all ...

Hello Pate ... immediately he's admonished for being SO LOUD ... yeah, he doesn't really HAVE an "inside voice" ... oh yeah, he can talk in her head instead, that's better ... time for scouting, then ...

And Matt calls it a break ... okay then ...

Yeah ... this place really does give us the collective creeps ... oh ... an open door? Hmmmm ... this is where the blood trail is leading, too ... lovely ...

Some kind of storage chamber ...

Big glass containers? Hmmmm ...

Dorian's gettign awful far ahead ... maybe that's not, like, SUPER smart ...

Ah, so this is about to become virgin ground for Essek? Great ... and his knowledge has some holes, too ... hmmmmm ...

Remembering Caleb ... yeah, he's a hell of a guy ... :3

Insight Check? Really, Ashley? Oh, WHISPERS!!! Intriguing ...

Oh, so clearly somebody's been through here since and opened it up ... yeah, looks like this is the way, then ...

Chetney checks for traps ... nothing of note ...

Aha ... children's hospital colour theory ... thanks for that, Tal ...

Yeah, looks like this might be the smarter place to check for traps ... is that stone fixed? Movable? Should we be suspicious?

The wooden chair ... yeah ... LOL

Push the stone ... the door's open ... nothing happens ... and they''re all still obssessing about the stone ... this bunch, they're so paranoid ... I love it ... XD

Liam: "Any velociraptors hiding out in here?" Matt: "What are you looking for? Velociraptors?" LOL

Boiling tar? Oh lovely ... best avoid THAT shit ...

Oh, so the stone's an arcane lock ... okay then ...

Carrying on, then ... it's opening up ahead ... and there's that smell again ... metallic ... somewhere up ahead ... loads and lods of ancient corpses littering the floor ... and lots of dangling chains hung from the ceiling ... with more bodies hanging from several ... great ... O.O

The hanging bodies are FRESH ... great ... Vanguard, looks like ... seemingly suffering a similar fate to the last batch upstairs ... great ...

Yeah, it would probably be4 too much wishful thiniing for one of THESE poor buggers to be Ludinus, wouldn't it ...

Oh, like this could be a TRAP, then? Rogue Aeorian tech? Hmmmm ...

Wait ... WHAT THE FUCK?!!! Pate is just suddenly GONE. Shit!

Form of Dread! Yeah! Mama's ANGRY!!!

Hunter's Bane ... Chetney sniffs for undead ... something here is FIENDISH ... great ...

Religious or Arcana check ... 16 Arcana ... the chains seems to have been conjured THROUGH the stone? Oh that's just GREAT ...

Spiderclimb ... smart ...

Oooh ... Essek has more fancy tricks up his sleeve ...

Ah, I see ... so question a corpse, then? Hmmm ...

Here we go, then ... Speak With the Dead ... cool ...

"The whispers in our head"? Oh, that's just ... AWESOME ...

"This started with the engine room"? Oh, that's interesting ... is that some kind of clue? Something about that rings a bell ...

Oh, Fearne's summoning her demon bae Tevan ... trying to be as discreet as she cane about it for Dorian's sake ... yeah, that don't work too well soon as the massive intimidating infernal smoking hot BADASS appears ... "The pact begins." Yeah ... great ...

Crap ... HE KNOWS Dominox ... great ... a "great enemy" from ancient times? Awesome ...

Laudna: "Do you have any bros you can call on? Now might be the time." Tevan: "... there is a bit doing on."

Essek is clearly more than a little flabbergasted by this whole business. XD

Orym (observing all of this going on around him): "Metal ..."

Whoa ... is Chetney POSSESSED?!!! Is Dominox getting into his head? "The bad wolf"? What? What the blue FUCK is this creepy Stephen King freakiness?

He can't see his friends anymore ... oh, that's not good ...

Oh sweet fuck ... Chetney, WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!

THIRTEEN? Fuck ...

Laudna can't get through to him ... not good ...

Orym touches Chetney's shoulder and HE FEELS a blade stabbing into it ... fuck ... hew responds very much IN KIND ... and claws into Orym ... SHIT!!!

Oh fuck! He snapped out of it! How ... how the hell did he do that? WAS IT real? Is it this place or did that GENUINELY just shake some buried memory loose in him? I don't like it at all ... this is all SO BAD ...

Shit ... yeah that is a GOOD FUCKING POINT, Ahston going off like that would be a REALLY BAD THING ...

Tevan is not much help right now, clearly ...

Dorian: "And we have the power of friendship! Which is why we'll WIN!!!" Bardic Inspiration! Yeah, fix that shit for 'em, Dorian!

Grim Psychometry? REALLY?!!! Right now? In THIS hellhole?

The hooks are simply facilitation, they're not the agents here ... interesting ... pure abyssal energy? Oof ... it's TOO MUCH to even interpret, clearly ...

Dorian's investigating ... oh, that's interesting ... the chains are just LYING there on the ground, pregnant with possibility, like they're WAITING ...

Trying Speak With the Dead again ... one of the "crazies" this time ...

"The Pinion of Service"? That's how Dominox was captured. An abyssal soul anchor ... shackled to THE ENGINE? Oh WOW ... that's interesting ... and now we know WHERE THE ENGINE IS. Cool. If the seals are intact Dominox is dormant ... well that's surely a big giveaway, then ...

Dominolx "feeds on insecurity" ... Imogen: "Oh gods ..." NO SHIT!!! O.O

DORIAN has to throw a Wisdom save? OH FUCK NO!!! Not now! 16? Hmmm ... is that GOOD?

He sees his brother Cyrus in one of the hanging corpses ... and it starts talking to him ... AND THIS is where Matt calls it for the night! SHIT!!!

Fuck ... once again, the very worst kind of cliffhanger ... O.O

Oh wow ... so THIS is where they're gonna pick it up on the Live Special? That is SO COOL ...

[quitealotofsodapop]

Double anon answer cus similar ideas.

I can imagine that the immediate reaction from the Red Sons, is to cast fireball at the "imposter" DBK just in case its SWK playing a really complicated prank (he did turn himself into DBK in Jttw).

After a lightning round Q&A - including the infamous "When was the exact hour Red Son was born?", both families determine that they are in fact alternate versions of one another.

Princess Iron Fan is the first to notice something very off about her Au self.

Canon!PIF: "You look... exhausted." Au!PIF, smiling excitedly: "I am!" Canon! Ironbull, like a psychic lightbulb moment: *simultaneous gasp!!!* Canon!DBK, uber hyped-up: "LET US SEE THE CHILD!" *cue both pairs of the Ironbull parents charging off towards the Demon Bull palace's nursery*

The Second Son/"Black Boy"/Huoshan is about to have a bunch of confusing wake-up kisses.

The spicynoodles reaction to one another depends on whether or not spicynoodles has already occurred in the canon verse. Otherwise, if we're strictly canon; then this the first time Canon Red and MK have considered eachother anything but shaky powerful allies.

Canon!Red, at seeing their parents run off: "What was that about?" Au!Red: "Probably about my little brother Huoshan. He was a long time coming." Canon!Red, trying to hide his own excitement: "A baby brother!? How dare you not be overjoyed on our parents behalf!" Au!Red: "Normally I'd be running off with them too, but I too am exhausted. The twins have been running me ragged." Canon!Red, blue-screen-error: "wut?" (°∀°) Au!Red, too tired to wonder what the issue is: "Yeah the girls have been keeping Me and MK up at all hours. Monkey plus bull genes equals loud chirping calves." Canon!Red, blush covering face: "..." Au!Red: "Of course there was the whole debacle with Uncle True Compliant sabotaging mother and father's plans for more children, and trying to kill MK. That really stressed the situation." Canon!Red, hair starts steaming: "....!?!" Au!Red: "And thank buddha that jiā gōng [father-in-law] gave mother that vase from Guanyin. Would have never gotten rid of that curse from grandmother otherwise." Canon!Red, mouth agape: "!!!!!!" *making sound of a boiling kettle* Au!Red: "Thankfully me and my sunflower get a lot of help from-" *notices the look on Canon!Red's face* "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost." Canon!Red: *hair flooms up like a pink wildfire* Au!Red, realizing: "AH. You uh... haven't gotten to those parts yet I bet?" Canon!Red: *nods head slowly* *the two MKs walk into the room* Canon!MK: "Hey Red Sons! Other me was just showing me the baby bull photos! The twin girls are super cute! Are they this Red's sisters or-" Canon!Red, flames growing higher: "AAAAaaaaaa...!" Au!MK, looking disappointed at his Red: "You told him the twins were ours, didn't you?" Canon!MK, interrupting before Au!Red can reply: "THEY ARE!?! OH MY BUDDHA! No wonder they have little monkey face patterns!" *starts squeeing loudly* *Canon spicynoodles are both screaming, and theres now a large fire in the Demon Bull palace entrance hall* Au! Spicynoodles: "Could have gone worse, right?" "I mean, the Nezhas had a little more flames."

The Canon MK & Red are in near shock for the rest of the visit, and refusing to meet eachothers gaze. Mostly cus they keep getting reminded by the Au!DBK about his "PERFECT GRANDDAUGHTERS!" (currently being babysat by their other grandparents), and by the baby photos plastered almost everywhere. A small fight does break out between the Bull Families at supertime though.

Canon!DBK: "So did your son release you from under the mountain as well?" Au!DBK, spoon-feeding little Huoshan: "Yes, in a sense. My body was trapped under the mountain for sometime until my Red and the little thief lifted the staff. Canon!DBK: "Ah. Much the same." Au!DBK: "Ingenious how he was able to contact me in the astral plane in the meantime though. Brother Pigsy and Sandy really helped Red bring out the best in himself." Canon!DBK: "...excuse me? The swine and the boatman!?" Au!PIF: "You seem shocked. We've known Chef Zhu and Sandy almost ever since I brought Red home from the Southern Ocean. Save for the whole, underworld and the staff fiasco, we've been nothing but amicable." Canon!PIF: "The Southern Ocean? But I brought Red Son home with me over... how long has your Bull been out of the mountain?" Au!PIF: "Physically? Only a few years. It's a bit of a long story. His physical body couldn't be released with the staff still in the mountain, but my genius little boy honed his mediatation skill enough so we could at least have some family time in the astral plane." Canon Ironbull: "...what." "WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT!?" Canon!Red: "Hey! I don't know if I can do that! This is an entirely different universe father!" Canon!MK: "Yeah! And at least thank him for making the gauntlet in the first place. If he never made that, you would probably still be a bull skull underground." Canon!DBK: "Not another word little thief. I am still wondering why you and your simian counterpart are even here." Au!MK, already peeved at Canon!Ironbull: "Cus me and my Red are married!" *Table is quiet, esp on the Canon end* Canon!Ironbull: "What." Au!MK, realises that he shouldn't have said that: "Hehehe, yeah... married. Where do you think the twins came from? Hehe" *nervous laughter* Canon!Ironbull: "..." Canon!DBK, turns seriously to his Red: "Son... WHY HAVEN'T YOU MARRIED THE LITTLE THIEF AND GIVEN US PERFECT GRANDCALVES?!" Canon!Red, hair flooming up blush-pink: "Father! You just don't say that!!!"

So yeah, most of the Canon and Au crossover is Canon Ironbull getting dunked on + Canon Red Son dying of embarassment at learning that the Noodle Boy becomes his Noddle Boy in marriage in the alternate timeline. Canon PIF & DBK might have reservations on Red being with MK, but the thought of beautiful grandkids (and Red's confirmations that there's hope for more Ironbull children) really makes a compelling argument.

[agentshades]

Things My Wife Has Said While Playing Baldur's Gate Part 6

We keep playing, she keeps saying. Everybody give it up for @everyoneinmckinneyisdead

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

*after casting Fireball, and to the tune of "Blinded by the Light"*

Kelsey: "Blinded by the baaaaaallll!"

--- 

*Myrkul appears*

Kelsey: "Is that literally three skeletons in a trenchcoat?"

---

Shadowheart: "How could you have known that? I told very few people. Certainly not you! And yet, you knew!"

Kelsey: "Lisan al-Ghaib!" 

---

*Looks at the spell description for Moonbeam*

Kelsey: "Only 20 damage? That's not very much..."

Me: "Being a Sorcerer may be skewing your perception of 'not very much...'"

---

*after building Jaheira into a Circle of Spores Druid and realizing she can make spore zombies*

Kelsey: "HA! Take that Astarion! What can you do? Bite people, stab people, and stab people sneakily? Zombies!" *gesturing at screen* 

--- 

*The person Kelsey is talking to shapeshifts. Orrin appears* 

Kelsey: "Wait, she was just that random guy? I just picked some random dude to talk to and it happens to be her? Crabby tits?"

---

*she tries to target two enemies with lightning bolt but an ox is also in the blast radius*

Kelsey: "NOOOO THE COW! I don't want to kill cow but I want to hit both of them. Ughhhhhhh." 

---

*when invited to join a clown on stage for a magic trick*

Kelsey (to me): "I bet you'd just go up on the stage with him instead of doing literally everything possible to get out of it like me. Cause thats what you'd do in real life. You weirdo."

---

*when a guard demands 200 gold to get into Baldur's Gate* 

Kelsey: "What?! I'm not paying her! Its an open road! I pay taxes! Probably!"

[mdhwrites]

I know you've criticized TOH's magic system as a whole before, but what are your thoughts on the actual types of coven magic themselves? (abomination, bard, beast keeping, construction, healing, illusion, oracle, plant, potions)

I mean, I like magic enough to like just about any school of magic. If I had any real issue with them it's that Bard is amongst them. I know that may seem weird but the rest are actually very specific, to a degree of being kind of... material. Illusion is the closest to being different but you still have a specific idea of what sort of spell is being cast, even if it falls into a more broad category than specifically plant instead of Earth (I'll get back to this point). Bard on the other hand? As far as we can tell in TOH, the biggest thing about it seems to be that it designates that you actually use a spellcasting focus instead of a spell circle but otherwise you can do as you please. Otherwise, why is it that they can literally summon storm clouds and lightning? Why is bard magic also akin to weather magic?

And that's kind of the issue I have with trying to actually talk about each. Do I like plant magic? Sure. Do I like construction magic? Sure. Why are these two different covens though when what seems to be the material different between the two is that one's power is flexible while the other makes concrete pillars? Maybe if we saw them actually use their magic for more than offense that'd be one thing but as it is, you have to wonder why they aren't one coven. Or hell, where do medicinal plants fall into this system? Do they not have potions of healing or potions of growth because they cross into another coven's territory?

And all of this excludes an evocation coven. In D&D, that's the school of magic that does fireballs but there IS NO FIREBALL COVEN!?

Sigh.

So yeah, it's kind of hard for me to judge them individually because most of them are just very basic. And that's just conceptually. If we go by what the show shows us: Potions: Boring and barely used.

Plant: SURE HOPE YOU LIKE VINES! And then one toxin despite the fact that you'd assume that was a potion coven thing.

Abomination: Definitely the coolest by asking what happens when you focus on golem making but also just does whatever the writer wants it to. Otherwise, why the fuck does it have a teleportation spell? Let alone one that doesn't require a golem. Also they never actually do anything with the golems they make except turn them into robots and that's not interesting.

Bard: Listed my issues above, especially since clearly much of its magic just does whatever, regardless of if you can hear it or not.

Healing: Pretty much not in the show.

Illusion: Fucked over by the show lying about it not being able to affect real objects and the show never actually does anything interesting with it and when it has fun with it, it's only once for the actual potential of the coven.

Beast Keeping: We see it only a couple times and it looks cool but is ill defined and doesn't seem to actually be familiar based. In fact, with how easy it seems to be for witches to call upon creatures and there being a super mode for it, it comes off as just an objectively better form of what abomination magic's main gimmick is.

Construction: Has the amazing fact of having power GLYPHS when glyphs are supposed to be Luz's thing and also they never come back. Otherwise, it's literally just stone pillars. Boring.

Oracle: We never actually see anyone tell the future or have future sight be a plot point of the show so entirely pointless. Otherwise, ghosts and telepathy, the latter of which seems to have been through an artifact and not through an oracle power, so again: Boring. Hell, the only thing we ever see one of their spirits do is attack like any old golem or beast so that's THREE covens where they effectively all do the same thing. Also the second coven who's primary color is purple.

And if you're going "Well, what about using them outside of the show?" I don't think that's a good question. It's MAGIC. It can do quite literally whatever the fuck you want. It is only limited by the rules of your setting and your imagination. As there effectively zero rules on what any of these covens can actually do, no power limits, it was only ever the limits of the creators.

And that only made it ever look like the creators lacked any creativity. Or, bare minimum, lacked interest in their magic to make it creative and distinct in anyway.

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[the-griffons-saddlebag]

📜 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Mobius Scroll
Scroll, rare (requires attunement by a spellcaster) ___ Unlike most scrolls having a dowel at its center or some means of a carrying case, a “mobius scroll” is a half-twisted length of paper that's been magically connected to itself to form an infinite, continuous sheet. The scroll is blank when found. A spell appears on it when you first attune to the scroll and then again daily at dawn; roll a d8 each time and use the table below to determine what spell is written on the scroll. On a 1 or 8, an extra spell appears on the scroll (as determined by the table). While you're attuned to the scroll, you can use a bonus action to shunt it to a special demiplane or summon it to your free hand. You can read from the scroll to cast a spell from it using an action. | d8 | Spell | Extra Spell |
—
| 1 | Slow; roll a second d8 and consult the Extra Spell column to determine what extra spell appears on the scroll. | Rope trick |
| 2 | Call lightning | Bane |
| 3 | Hypnotic pattern | Bless |
| 4 | Spirit guardians | Disguise self |
| 5 | Dimension door | Magic missile |
| 6 | Fireball | Invisibility |
| 7 | Ice storm | Flaming sphere |
| 8 | Haste ; roll a second d8 and consult the Extra Spell column to determine what extra spell appears on the scroll. | Pass without trace | You can cast a spell from the scroll as normal while you're attuned to it, even if that spell isn't on your spell list, using your spellcasting ability modifier, spell save DC, and spell attack bonus. Once a spell has been cast from the scroll, the ink in which it was written vanishes from the paper, and that spell can't be cast again until the next time it appears on the scroll. Any spell remaining on the scroll is replaced by the new spell or spells daily at dawn. A spell that's copied from the scroll into a spellbook is permanently removed from the scroll. If that spell is rolled on the table above after it's been copied in this way, nothing happens, and the scroll remains blank until the next dawn. ___ ✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon's Saddlebag on Patreon for less than $10 a month!

[bugbbear]

i tracked every spell cast in the dnd movie

(yes i am autistic how could you tell)

so first off let's get this straight: i am by no means an expert. i did, however, spend like four hours combing through spells to see which ones fit. these are the best fits i could find.

why did i do this? well because screenrant did and they did a shitty fucking job. they cited spells that dont fucking exist! shame on you! do your fucking homework! also, see previously mentioned autism.

ANYWAY! spell list (in order of appearance) under the cut!

ENCHANTMENTS: (magic items, artifacts, etc)

greater invisibility (kira's amulet)

true resurrection (tablet of awakening)

speak with dead (simon's cleric token)

dimension door (hither thither staff)

antimagic field (helm of disjunction)

SPELLS: (cast by a character)

fog cloud (simon)

chain lightning (sofina)

time stop (sofina)

counterspell (simon)

prestidigitation (sofina)

mold earth (sofina)

prestidigitation [x2] (simon)

blur (simon)

telekinesis (simon)

reverse gravity [x2] (simon)

polymorph (doric)

witch bolt (sofina)

fire bolt [a couple times] (sofina)

misty step (sofina)

fire bolt [a couple more times] (sofina)

green-flame blade (dralas)

command (xenk)

green-flame blade (dralas)

holy weapon (xenk)

prestidigitation (simon)

major image (simon)

evard's black tentacles (sofina)

tidal wave (simon)

meteor swarm (sofina)

shield (simon)

polymorph (doric)

animate objects (sofina)

misty step (sofina)

magic missile (simon)

misty step (sofina)

resilient sphere (sofina)

arcane hand (sofina)

maximilian's earthen grasp (simon)

ill be real. the fight scene that starts at 1:57:22 is fuckin hard. i cannot tell a lot of what sofina casts, i have no idea what spell she uses to disarm holga or what she does to push edgin away (twice). here is what i do know:

SIMON: magic missile, shocking grasp, scorching ray (edited)

SOFINA: gust (getting back up), shield, the spell to push edgin back twice (red curtin like thing), the spell to disarm holga

anyway back to your regularly scheduled program

gust of wind (sofina)

time stop (sofina)

counterspell (simon)

polymorph (doric)

REASONINGS / THINGS I WAS IFFY ABT:

druids can only wildshape twice per short rest. im choosing to believe that doric is just Like That, maybe she's 20th level or something

IN ADDITION, druids can only wildshape into beasts. an owlbear is a monstrosity, hence why i marked that she uses polymorph to be an owlbear.

sorcerers dont get produce flame, so im choosing to believe that when he does the finger flame thing its just prestidigitation

when xenk pulls the cat outta the fish, he could be using dominate beast if he was oath of conquest. since we dont know his subclass imma just say its command and he speaks this fish's language

FINAL THOUGHTS: completely inaccurate. no one used fireball. /j

[thewisaaaaad]

I never said WHY there was an eternal storm, did I?

well, that is the site of Ala's death. The one who left the relic, Ala's teeth. the thunder one. and you know who killed them? narinder. so of course they rage against the old faith, even in death, attempting to strike down anything related to it within the storm.

Shamura was counting on this. their lighting would serve as the perfect thread to sow together that which spider silk could not: the soul to the body, and perhaps to create a soul, if narinder was truly mad.

so anyway thats why the lamb doesn't cast fireballs, and instead casts lightning.

They are deeply uncomfortable with this, on account of the torture.

its also why the lamb cannot just die and return to nari: their soul is too tightly bound to their flesh, so nothing short of annihilation will separate them right now, and that is a risky proposition indeed.

[dankdungeonsrpg]

Fighting Fantasy X Magic: the Gathering

I realized the other day that the Fighting Fantasy game system and Magic: the Gathering have very similar damage ranges. This opens some cool possibilities.

Fighting Fantasy are a series of choose your own adventure style game books with a simple rpg system built in, first published in 1982. It's system was adapted into a full fledged (but still simple) standalone rpg with the release of Dungeoneer in 1989. Magic: the Gathering is a collectible card game first released in 1993 in which you play dueling wizards.

The Numbers Game

Fighting Fantasy (FF) is a three stat game. Stamina, the representation of health, is generated by rolling 2d6+12. Giving you a range of 14-24 and an average of 19.

Magic: the Gathering (MTG) has a starting life total of 20.

What mechanically follows is that FF weapon damage and MTG spell damage are very similar. So a FF character could cast Lightning Bolt with the same game impact as their opponent hitting them with a sword.

Creatures/Monsters have some very similar statistics between the two games as well.

MTG creatures have two stats; Power and Toughness, located in the lower right corner. Power is how much damage they deal and Toughness how much they can take

FF monsters have two stats as well; Skill and Stamina. Stamina and Toughness are the same but Skill and Power are slightly different.

In MTG Power=Damage but in FF Skill is a bonus that gets added to an opposed 2d6 roll. Damage is then rolled separately on a table.

FF monsters can also have a lot more Stamina than MTG creatures have Toughness. However, this makes sense in the context of an rpg monster being fought over several rounds whereas you do not track the life total of a card game creature over turns (in most cases).

The bottom line is that you can use most MTG creatures in a FF game, you just probably want to stay away from 1/1's and 2/2's.

Mana Burn

In MTG spells cost Mana to cast and in FF spells cost Stamina. But this is deceptive, because the power curve is very different.

Technically, Fighting Fantasy first introduced a spell system for their Sorcery! books, but I'm discussing the one from Dungeoneer.

First, dealing yourself damage whenever you cast makes you way easier to kill. This is a kind of escalation that MTG just doesn't account for in its damage curve. FF spells damage values cap much lower than MTG spells do.

Second, it would be like having access to 20 mana turn one (or having a Fastbond and 20 lands in your hand). Putting a high mana cost on a spell is one of the ways MTG balances the game.

To fix this, I would suggest taking a cue from another card game that was created as a modern digital response to MTG: Hearthstone.

In Hearthstone you don't draw mana producing lands out of your deck and potentially play 1 a turn like in MTG. Instead, every round your total potential mana increases by 1 on a tracker.

Alternatively, you could keep the "spend Stamina to cast" from FF but then you would probably want to restrict players to 1 spell a turn like in the FF rules. This just kinda undermines the cool combo potential of a single player, but still offers combo potential within the party.

Top Decking

Would it make more sense to have a deck of spells next to your character sheet or just a selection of cards?

The randomness of drawing each turn is exciting and narratively it can still make sense during combat, as your wizard tries to remember spells during a fight.

It just feels weird outside of that. The easiest way would be for all spells (or maybe just a number equal to your Skill) be available for use in casual adventuring.

Sidenote: MTG cards often evoke narrative but aren't any good for narrative play. Thoughtseize is narratively about stealing someone's thoughts but doesn't actually *do* that because how would that help you in a card game? It may be worth deciding with the GM what kinds of other things your cards can do in game, like Fireball settings things on fire.

Mechanical Friction

There is plenty of MTG card text that just doesn't work in an rpg. Most notably, if you're fighting something other than an enemy wizard, just about any card that effects your opponents cards is useless. Unless your GM creates a small deck for each creature, which would be a fun way to dictate monster actions but also feels like a lot of work when we just established how easy it is to port creatures. Can you mill a Bear? Should you be able to?

Worth mentioning that the video game Cardhunter does this (and a lot of the things poked at in this post). However it greatly benefits from a digital GM managing a lot of these moving pieces. A physical game would have to go into extreme board game territory to emulate this. Then it becomes not so rules lite anymore.

More Research Required

This feels like it could work and I really want to test it out. See what kind of supporting mechanics it needs.

Hopefully I can report back on this sometime soon!

[boxfullaturtles]

Kingdom Hearts Rise AU

Michelangelo Hamato The youngest brother wields magic with incredible skill and proficiency. Combined with his speed and acrobatics, Mikey is a lethal force on the battlefield and not one to be underestimated. His youthful outlook and wide-eyed wonder belie a strong emotional intuition and an even stronger heart whose light reaches out to help and support those in need. He’s a firecracker on the battlefield, his speed on par with Leo’s. His magic is devastating and capable of doing damage over a large area, decimating weaker foes. He’s primarily a long range fighter, working to pin the enemy down so his brothers can close in for a truly wicked series of blows.

Keyblade: Solarflare A Keyblade with a long reach that provides a substantial boost in Magic. Strength: +2 Magic: +8 Length: Long Ability: Magic Galvanizer: Increase the damage done with magic in proportion to the length of the combo.

[extra details under cut]

Team Attacks: + Leonardo: Shooting Star Team up with Leo and launch fireballs through his portals, casting them all over the battlefield, then finish them off with a gigantic Thunder spell.

+ Raphael: Fists of Fire Team up with Raph, coating his fists in flames and riding on his shell as he charges through enemies before finishing them off with an explosive ground pound attack that sends shock waves across the ground.

+ Donatello: Bombs Away! Team up with Donnie and ignite a giant rocket, riding it around and plowing into enemies, then end it all by launching the rocket into the sky, leaping off before it crashes back to earth and explodes.

+ April: Mystic Mayhem Team up with April to link magic and spin around the battlefield like a dance, gliding on air while launching spells in every direction, then finish with an eruption of magic.

+ Casey: Danger Days Team up with Casey to let him rail grind on magic chains, slicing through any nearby enemies before directing lightning down the chains to channel into his Keyblade for a final blow.

----------

More stuff about KH Rise Mikey:

- He swims but very badly and prefers to avoid water if he can help it.

- The most powerful mage out of his teammates, Mikey is capable of combining his spells to cast two at once, often creating deadly combos like Fire-Wind or Lightning-Ice. In the future, he might be able to cast the highest tiers of magic without the cost it would take from most wielders.

- Solarflare sounds like rattling chains when it strikes enemies and its particle effects are grinning little balls of flame, sparks like embers, and little green stars and circles. It is always slightly warm to the touch and the symbols on the end glow softly.

- Mikey’s outfit is specifically designed to allow him to pull into the safety of his shell, since it’s something he does frequently and often uses to his advantage in battle.

- He sometimes gets a little cocky and overconfident in battle, especially when he’s winning. Although unlike Leo, he tends to be immediately humbled by any mistake he makes.

- Chronicles their travels and keeps track of their story (like Jiminy does in the KH games). Fills the pages of his journals with plenty of sketches and photographs. Sometimes adds souvenirs from worlds they’ve been to like pressed flowers, stickers, or scraps of paper or fabric.

- His temper is legendary but rarely seen. Few have ever lived to tell of its unleashing.

- Mikey has an extremely good (and very mature) understanding of the heart. Of all his friends, he’s the only one that seems to really understand that a heart is a thing of balance and that Light cannot exist with the Dark, and that Light can be just as vicious and cruel as Dark. He struggles to conceptualize this in a way that he can explain to others and the frustration of his failure to communicate (and the stigma against Darkness) drives him to keep it to himself. He hasn’t mastered his own Darkness by any means and actually has a hard time dealing with it himself. Just because he understands it, doesn’t mean he knows how to execute it.

- That being said, when it comes to matters of the heart and, indeed, feelings, there’s no one better to turn to than Mikey. Or rather, Dr. Feelings. He’s as blunt as ever and will tell you exactly what you need to hear, even if you don’t want to.

- Yen Sid and Merlin believe that, with the right tutelage, Mikey could do far more than simply cast spells. They see great things for him in the future...

[imaginatorofthings]

Oooh, for the quote ask game, could I have 🥀, 🌷, and 🔥, please?

Ooo thank you Aria!

🥀 favorite angst quote from a published work

Ooo, I don't write lots of angst for some reason, but I'll put in the first thing that comes to mind here.

Yes it's original-esque, and yes it's from my "The Locked Tomb" AU for my OCs because I HAD THOUGHT ABOUT THIS I WROTE CHAPTER AFTER CHAPTER FOR A WHILE.

Dare the soul say, to The River. But the soul didn’t say a word, and they didn’t know what sort of compulsion overcame them when they raised the hand that was closest to the not-corpse and gently placed it against their face. Maybe it was the body. The not-corpse flinched, then gently placed a white, gloved hand over the body’s hand on their face. That gloved hand lay there for another breath before it closed around the body’s hand and gently placed it back on the body’s stomach. In that moment, the not-corpse looked like the saddest person in the whole world.

🌷 favorite sweet quote from a published work

Mmmmm I do love my OCs. BUT! Surprise, I'm going to pick something else. It's sweet and silly, fitting of the Nimbasa Trio in a Soul Eater AU!

Elesa glanced between the two of them. Just watching the two trying to dispel their nervous energy caused some of her residual nerves to try to build up again. However, she shook out her hands and stomped her foot on the ground. “We are the Nimbasa Trio! We carry the pride and joy of our district far beyond New York city! We’re the best of the best out there, and we’re the best of the best here!” She struck a pose, one manicured hand pointed up and the other one pointed down. Her puffy yellow jacket made her upper body look like an appealing plate of fluffy scrambled eggs, and she shook out her black hair so they fell at just the right angle around her red and blue headphones. Her electric blue eyes shone with determination and pride. “We’re the Nimbasa trio!” Emmet was the first to join in on her posing. He dropped into a squat and raised one of his arms up while pointing the other one forwards. He stuck one foot out and his smile grew. “I am Emmet, and we’re the Nimbasa trio!” Ingo joined in, raising one of his arms and keeping the other pointed downwards. To Elesa’s joy, he allowed himself to slightly cock out one of his hips as the corners of his frown turned upwards, resulting in a cat-like expression. “We’re the Nimbasa Trio! All aboard!” “All aboard!” echoed Emmet. “Our team will be the next one to make your heads spin!” Elesa announced. Build up that confidence, and natural charisma will follow!

🔥 wild card: dealer’s choice of quote from a wip

Oh, I only have two main WIPs at the moment, and one of them isn't meant for the public eye just yet (novella ideas, save me).

SO YOU GET MORE OF MY OCS!! In a DND/Fantasy-esque world no less! If you can understand the spells I tried to use here, then all the better for you!

The bespeckled one — Whynn was their name — startled at the sudden shift in attention towards them. They flinched, raised both of their hands up, and squeaked a few short words out. A faint pulse of magic caused the dagger to bounce off harmlessly, opening up room for Zephyr to wriggle in between Whynn’s outstretched arms. Between AT-1225 rushing in to grab at the wrist holding the necklace of fireballs and whispering a spell, Zephyr somehow managed to touch the intruder and send a small shock of lightning through it. Thankfully, whatever spell the child cast didn’t spread to the warforged, who would rather not have to deal with the electric sparks possibly frying its limbs and power source.

[tabitha42]

The Wizard's Apprentice - Chapter 5

Saffron is just a lowly apprentice with barely a successful firebolt to her name. So what chance does she have with the arch mage she's slowly falling in love with?

Gale x Tav, slow burn, eventual smut

Chapter 1 Previous chapter Next chapter

They decided to find a secluded spot for the lesson, one far enough away that the others wouldn’t be kept awake by the sounds of fireballs and lightning. It didn’t take them long to find somewhere - a nice clearing which would have made for a good camp spot had they not already chosen one. “This looks ideal,” Gale decided as he looked round the area. “That rock will make for a perfect target. Far enough from the grass that we won’t risk starting any accidental forest fires,” he said, gesturing to a large rock in the sand by the river bank. “Now, show me your firebolt,” he instructed, standing back a few steps. 

Saff nodded and took a deep breath. She was actually quite nervous, having someone assess her on something she knew she wasn’t very good at. Especially someone so good at it that she wanted to impress. 

She raised her hands and began to make the movements. 

“Ignis!” 

She threw her arm forward and the firebolt launched from her hand, slamming into the rock and leaving a blackened mark. She smiled widely and turned to him, proud of herself. “Good. Again,” he said, waving for her to continue. She did as she was told, throwing another firebolt. Slightly more off target this time, glancing off the side of the rock. “Keep going,” he instructed, holding his chin in his hand as he watched. 

She continued, throwing them now until he said to stop. As she did he watched her movements, her gestures, her positioning, listened to the pronunciation and emphasis of her incantations. 

“Alright, stop,” he ordered, and did so. “Your technique isn’t bad, but there is room for improvement. Show me your opening stance again.” 

She did as instructed, raising her hands into the position. He stepped towards her and paused, seemingly contemplating something for a moment, before reaching out and gently raising her elbow. “Have this arm just a little higher,” he advised, “and this one a little lower,” he added, lowering her other hand slightly. “Also, splay your fingers a bit more. Now try that.” She did so, and was amazed when the firebolt that came out was notably bigger. 

“Wow!” she gasped in surprise.

“Much better!” he said happily. “Do you know any other offensive spells?” 

“Not really… I know the movements and incantation for Ray of Frost, though I’ve never tried to actually cast it.” “There’s a first time for everything. Give it a go.” 

She nodded, and once more raised her hands into the position. 

“Glacies!” 

“Wait-!” 

Instead of forming a crystal lance to throw at the rock, the ice that erupted from her hands instead exploded, covering her in jagged ice and knocking her back off her feet. She fell to the ground, the wind knocked out of her, shivering.

“Saff!” Gale gasped, running to her side and dropping to his knees. “By Mystra, are you ok??” 

He gathered her into his arms and helped her sit up, feeling her shake from the cold. Quickly he summoned a small ball of flame in his hands and held it in front of her, letting it warm her up. Gradually the ice began to melt away, soaking into her clothes. 

“S-sorry…” she stuttered, looking down in shame. 

“Don’t be sorry,” he assured her. “After all, what’s a magic lesson without an unexpected explosion or two?” 

Despite the shivering, she managed to laugh at that. 

“It didn’t get you, did it?” she asked, looking up at him. To her relief, he shook his head. 

“You rather bore the brunt of that one for me,” he said with a small chuckle. 

“Well, good,” she said, softly chuckling to herself. She watched the fire in his hand for a few moments, enjoying its warmth. 

“Perhaps we should have covered armour spells before going straight into attacks,” Gale mused. “Do you know Mage Armour?” She shook her head. “We will start with that once you’re better.”

She nodded, though something was on her mind. 

“You said ‘wait’… you knew that was going to happen?” she asked eventually. 

“Your pronunciation was all wrong,” he explained. “It’s glak-ius, with a hard C. Not… glay-sees.” “Oh!” she gasped, a flush of embarrassment rising in her cheeks. “Well… I’d only ever read it… I’ve never heard it said out loud…” 

His eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“Wait, you’ve never heard it said out loud? Where did you learn these spells?” 

“Well, I… learnt them myself,” she admitted, looking away slightly. “I never had the money to go to an academy. I learnt a few basic spells myself, then was picked up by a wizard in Baldur’s Gate who said he’d teach me. But he always said I shouldn’t learn combat spells, that it was too dangerous.” 

“He… said you shouldn’t learn combat spells?” Gale said in surprise. That sounded odd to him. “Every wizard needs to learn combat spells…” 

“Not according to Malitas,” she said with a small shrug. “He said I should focus on my druidic studies.” “I see. Well, when we get to Baldur’s Gate, I’d love to meet him. I’d like to give him a piece of my mind,” he growled, the anger evident in his voice, which surprised her. “You’re… angry at him?” 

“Of course. He’s left you in a dangerous position, not being able to defend yourself. But, no matter. I can put that right,” he decided, quickly getting back to his usual upbeat tone. “Especially now that we have all day to practise.” 

“Ah yes!” she laughed, looking up at him. “I need to thank you for that. I… am not sure I’m ready for another day on the road without some time to properly learn some combat spells.” 

“Indeed. We’ll get you up to scratch, not to worry,” he assured her. She looked at him with a grateful smile, though all he could see were the painful, red marks on her face where the ice had hit. “For now though, let’s take a break, at least until you’re dry,” he decided. He leant forward and placed the orb of fire on the ground, then as he leant back performed a few hand gestures, growing the flames to the size of a campfire. 

Saff leaned forward, getting the most of the heat. The ice had all melted now, but still left most of her clothes soaked in cold water. 

“Gla-kius,” she said after a moment, then looked over at him. “Is that right? Glakius?” 

“Perfect,” he complimented, smiling at her. “And what about Chill Touch? Timere?” 

“Less tim-ear, more tim-may.” “Gods, I’ve got a lot to learn,” she despaired, though with a slight laugh, as she looked back to the fire. 

“You’ll pick it up, I’m sure,” he said confidently. 

“I hope so. I’m going to need it…” she murmured, a bit distantly, knowing what would face them in the future.

They sat quietly for a bit, staring into the fire, enjoying the serenity of the evening, til Saff spoke again.

“Oh! I meant to ask. You mentioned earlier the first time you had to fight…” she looked over at Gale, meeting his eyes. “What happened? If you don’t mind talking about it.” 

“Don’t mind at all,” he said happily. “I was 15, and perhaps unsurprisingly, it was to impress a girl.”

She burst out laughing. 

“Oh, of course it was! You really got yourself into mortal danger to impress a girl?” 

“A tale as old as time,” he chuckled. “A trade caravan heading to Waterdeep had been plundered by goblins and she was devastated that a necklace she’d ordered from Baldur’s Gate had been taken. So I sought out the goblin cave and entered, set on finding the necklace and winning her heart. Needless to say, one 15 year old against a group of goblins was hardly a fair fight, even if that 15 year old was me. I was discovered trying to sneak through the cave and just about managed to escape with my life intact. Though the wrath of the goblins was nothing compared to the wrath of my mother,” he joked. Saff laughed along with him, shaking her head. 

“I can’t believe you’d do that for a girl. I used to have so much respect for you.”

“Oh I assure you I’ve changed a lot since then. If that situation were to happen now, I’d be able to take out the goblins.” 

She playfully pushed him away as she laughed. 

“And what did she think of your daring deed? Did it impress her?” 

“No, I’m sad to report. Had I succeeded perhaps it would have done, but she was thoroughly unimpressed. I was heartbroken.” 

“Well I hope you learnt your lesson and you don’t do stupid things to impress girls anymore.” 

His smile faded slightly and he looked back into the fire. 

“Hmm… perhaps I haven’t changed as much as I thought…” he said quietly, a bit distantly. He then looked back at her with a smile before she could question it. “Think you’re ready to continue with the lesson?” 

They started with Mage Armour, another essential in a wizard’s arsenal as far as Gale was concerned. After a few practised incantations and gestures Saff tried it out, and was amazed as a subtle shimmer of golden light shrouded her body. 

“Perfect,” he complimented. “It’s not quite as effective as a full suit of armour, but it’s an awful lot better than just robes. Make sure to apply the spell every morning, it’ll last all day.” 

After that they returned to combat spells. Following a few more attempts at carefully pronouncing the incantation, she was delighted to successfully cast ray of frost, and the blackened burnt spot on the rock soon became coated in ice. A few more rounds of firebolt to melt the ice and they decided it was time to call it for the night.

The two of them headed back down the river towards camp. It was fully dark now, the moonlight reflecting on the water’s surface while stars sparkled in the ripples. Wind gently rustled the tree leaves, accompanied by the occasional sounds of animals. Now that she wasn’t focusing on her lessons, she could see how beautiful it was. 

“Too bad we have to go back. It’s beautiful out here,” she mused, looking up at the stars. 

“It is, isn’t it?” Gale agreed, following her gaze. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been somewhere like this. I spend most of my time in the city.” “Me too…” she whispered softly, trailing off a bit. She stopped walking, pausing to admire the beauty around her, not wanting it to disappear just yet. Gale stopped a few steps ahead of her and looked back once he realised she was no longer by his side. She looked deep in thought. 

“This is why I wanted to study druidic magic, you know. Places like this, they just seem so… perfect…” 

She walked over to the river’s edge and knelt down, looking into the water. She reached down and cupped some in her hands, lifting it out and watching as the surface settled and the reflection appeared, before letting it seep back out through her fingers. 

“Sometimes I wish I was born a druid. I feel so… at peace here. Like everything is right with the world, despite how much I know it’s not.” 

She stood again, her gaze lingering at the river a few moments longer, before finally turning back to Gale. When she caught his eye she saw how he was looking at her, the slight, unconscious smile on his lips, the look in his eyes… she felt her heart skip a beat once more. Though it was only there for a split second before he quickly composed himself.

“You’re quite right,” he said, looking around the forest and up to the stars as she had. “I really need to get out of my tower more. It’s too easy to forget places like this exist in the world.” 

“You definitely need to get out more if you’re forgetting they exist,” she teased as she caught back up to him. He chuckled softly as he brought his gaze back down to her. 

“Well, it’s easier to remember to do that if I’ve… ahem… got someone to enjoy the walk with,” he said softly. Her heart fluttered with excitement - was he… flirting with her?? Or was she reading too much into it? Gods she hoped he was. Everything about it swept her away - the soft, warm tone he spoke in, even the slightly awkward, nervous stutter in the middle of the sentence. It was strange to see Gale, who was usually so confident, get nervous about something. It was adorable.

“True… it’s always better with the right person,” she agreed, not taking her eyes off of his. 

The two of them stood there for a long moment, staring into each other’s eyes… until he finally took a step back. 

“Let’s hope we have many more walks like this, before we leave this place,” he said, inviting her to walk with him again down the river towards camp. She smiled and continued on with him, only now realising how fast her heart was beating with excitement. 

By the time they reached camp the campfire had burnt down to just the embers. They stepped carefully over the various camp supplies outside everyone’s tents until they reached their own. 

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Gale whispered to her, careful to make sure no one else would hear. She smiled and nodded eagerly. 

“Goodnight, Gale.” “Goodnight, Saff.” 

The blankets of her tent were much warmer and comfier now than the night before with the addition of various blankets and furs they’d got at the druid’s grove, but it was thoughts of Gale that truly warmed her heart tonight. Again, she tried to tell herself not to fall for a guy she just met, but just the way he whispered goodnight could completely drown out those thoughts. She closed her eyes, imagining what future walks along the river might bring.

[gust-jar-simulator]

So I've been analyzing the Triforce Poly to figure out Baldur's Gate builds for fun, and honestly their fighting styles say a lot about them and really interest me.

Zelda: archery. She's thematically associated with defense, sealing, and shielding, but the most common thing we see her actually use is a bow. Shoutout to Twilight Princess Zelda, who uses a sword, but while it's probably hers it's notably when she's possessed by Ganon. I have feelings about the fact that she's an archer and the other notable tool of the goddess is a harp. Something about strings on a frame. Something about angels and smiting. Hylia DOES have a sword, but she gave it to her knight.

Link: sword and board. Skyward Sword link definitely fits the paladin archetype, you literally get back to Skyloft via prayer. Honestly though I think his devotion to Zelda would've been blasphemous if she wasn't. Y'know. The goddess incarnate. I have feelings about that. Anyway, Link does multiclass into bard notably in Ocarina of Time, but the thing about Link is that he's a hero. "Love not the sword for its sharpness, but that which it defends," etc etc. He might be a chaos gremlin who specializes in property damage, but he helps the little guy and carries groceries for grandmas in need. He wields the sword of the goddess and the shield of Hyrule. He is a divine weapon, but also the protector of Hyrule, and both of these are equally important.

Sometimes it takes awhile for him to find one or the other- you could say a lot about Skyward Sword, for example, because he Starts Off with the weapon of the goddess and develops and understanding of what that means as he goes, but he only gets the Hylian Shield after engaging with people and exploring and immersing himself in the land. In Wind Waker, he starts off with the shield of an old hero in his family, and has to basically rip the sword from the jaws of the gods with undeniable moxie. He's not a weapon of the gods, he just demands to be, because he's foremost a protector and the shield is inherently tied to his family.

Ganondorf: dual scimitars, trident. His notable scimitars have the names of his mothers carved into them, and the Spear of Power is a callback to Ganon's very first appearance and Zhu Bajie's war rake. Notably, these are melee weapons, and he uses both hands for offense. He tends to compliment his fighting style with some casting, like fireballs or lightning, and of course there's the massive fuckoff demon king transformation in several games. As far as I know he doesn't use a shield. Demise came later on, development wise, but he also uses a greatsword and lightning.

Ganondorf is a king who plays politics and can lie like a devil, but if it's to the point that he's actually personally fighting you there's no need for illusions or sugarcoating. He's a warlord and his style is hit you until you die, and he will fill both hands with pointy objects to overwhelm the opposition and make sure you stay down. Also from personal experience, fighting a dual wielder or a polearm is Fucking Terrifying. Archers are sniper fear, either they hit you or they don't, and they need time. Sword and board is somewhat predictable, if hard to actually hit. Dual wield or polearm is like picking a fight with a tornado.

Thematically speaking, the scimitars are carved with his mother's names. He wields the blades in their name, aligned with their goals, and it's a connection to his roots as the king of the Gerudo people. The spear is more connected to his nature as the heir of Power, the weapon of the Demon King. In FSA, pulling the spear from a stone is actually what transforms him from a Gerudo into the Demon King, in a sort of magical girl King Arthur situation.

Also to round it out because I think I'm funny, Vaati can use a sword but he fights you as a caster because he doesn't want to fucking touch you. He's above that. Then after his demon transformation he's just trying to swat you like a fly because he's mad.

[vox-off]

i whinge about an extremely old computer game under the cut

so i was playing shandalar - as one does in the year of our lord 2024 - and was loitering about, picking fights, when a wizard attacked a nearby town. no biggie, i've got me a pretty bitchin' izzet burn deck, go to rescue the town, maybe get a cool card

now the wizards have all had like 14-21 starting life total up to this point. but THIS bitch had 100. i'mindanger.gif. fortunately for me, his deck sucked. well. okay i can see how his deck would be a problem for literally any other deck. his tactic was 'make everything expensive to cast' buddy a solid 28 of my 60 cards are 1 drops. i'm running 19 lands and still get flooded. i've got a core of lightning bolt, shock, fireball, opt, and ancestral recall. my 'big spenders' are guttersnipes at a whopping 3 cmc. maybe a docent if it gets dire. you can't cast shit for shit and i may be killing you 1/10th of your health at a time, but by god i am going to death by a thousand static shocks you

i beat him three times and each time, the game would crash before the 'you done beat him' screen. i got so steamed about it i rage quit and went to bed

googled about it this morning. turns out the ONLY enemy in the game with 100 life is the final boss. somehow the good good quality game of Modded To Fuck Shandalar glitched the final boss into a random city on the map with exactly zero Final Boss Time conditions met and then, presumably, crashed under the weight of its own embarrassment

[twogeeseinatrenchcoat]

I have an oc universe. Listen to me.

Hello. It is time to talk about the one thing nobody wants to hear me talk about: my OC universe. Not because it's bad (in my humble opinion) but because I will rant your ear off for about an hour with no stop if you let me. This is not an exaggeration. The Google doc is like 9k words long and I'm not even 1/4 done.

Tldr: Magic is based on emotions, the living don't have magic, if you die in the right places you can be recreated as a spirit and have magic. Long rant below the cut.

So. I have a magic system. It's a pretty simple magic system, at its core. You'd probably be wondering how something as short as the tldr gets turned into 5k words. (...yeah.) Different emotions, different magic. You can control when you cast the magic (we'll get to that later because not really), but you can't control what magic it is unless you're really good at self-emotional manipulation.

The word for magic in this universe is "arcana," that's not really relevant except for the fact that I try not to call it magic because... I really don't know why. But, anyways.

There are two types of arcana, non-physical arcana and cast arcana. Cast arcana is arcana after it has been used by someone, it's the thing that makes the fireball that you hurl at the dragon. (Dragons don't exist) Non-physical arcana is the arcana in the air. Ambient magic, and can be drawn on to cast in some places.

There are places with higher concentrations of non-physical arcana, which are called arcana wells. Non-physical arcana is created by the emotions of the living, and so it gets concentrated when emotional events happen. Arcana wells have rankings of I--V, with I being the weakest and V being the strongest.

If you die in an arcana well, you become an arcanic echo, memory, or spirit. Echo for Rank I, memory for Rank II, spirit for Ranks III-V. Spirits share the same rankings as wells, and are the same rank as their source well, or the well that created them.

Now spirits aren't exactly reborn, right? They're more so a copy of the living, made of concentrated arcana. The higher the rank, the better the copy. Rank I (echoes) can only feel the exact emotion of the well, can't leave it's radius, and are really an extension of the well more than anything. So, sentience is a big moral problem that the majority of the population has been ignoring. They're basically highly advanced AIs, but with magic.

Back to the emotions thing! So, you'd imagine it's simple, right? No. Because I decided that it's a fucking colour wheel and made chaos theory: the magic system. Basically. Imagine the colour wheel, now assign a very specific type of happiness to every single different shade of yellow. For example, yes there's excitement, but that's really a whole block of the colour wheel, and it also covers "excitement, but with a little bit of regret, and nostalgia, and guilt," as well as "excitement, mixed with grief, and annoyance, and a sense of justice." Right?

For the longest time, I didn't know what the effect of the magic would even be. Then I figured it out, by sorting it into broad categories that then get more specific. Happiness is creative, anger is degenerative, calm is regenerative, and sadness is transformative. (Think I got that right, honestly this is one of the less-developed parts.) Basically, anger, which is a broad category of emotion (think, the entire section of red and orange on the colour wheel), corresponds to any arcana that harms anything. Broad category for a broad category, you could flamethrower a guy or strike him with lightning or poison him or anything else. And every minute difference in emotion is matched with a minute difference in its effect.

Pretty sure that covers the magic system, thank you if anyone read all the way down here!