#and curse

[veryvexing]

The Thomas Jopson Guide to Customer Service

transcript + details under the cut

STEP 1: PROJECT

Mommy / daddy issues? Or are you nursing a broken heart? GOOD! we all have problems, it’s best to get some good use out of them!

Project your traumas & form an unhealthy attachment to your boss!

A deep personal tie to your job is proven (by me) to increase motivation!

nightmares about your boss abandoning you are a good sign of a successful attachment.

STEP 2: SMILE

A more or less warm smile is a good response to (almost) any situation.

- Surprise overtime? Smile!

- Promotion? Smile!

- Want to kill your customer? Smile!

- Boss reminds you a bit too much of your mother and it’s making you uncomfortable… smile!

Do NOT smile when the coworker you hate finally gets what they deserve. [poorly disguised smirk]

STEP 3: LOOK YOUR BEST

“Turmoil on the inside needn’t show on the out” - a wise man

Customers will come back to a pretty face.

The boss you’re attached to might turn up out of nowhere to take care of you, so being sick is no excuse.

[getting my hair done before crawling to my lonesome death]

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 44

Geralt is cursed to be a monstrous beast. He lives his days in solitude deep in the forest. It was relaxing, he'd try and convince himself, despite the reality being that it was very lonely and depressing. Jaskier is lost in the woods. Dreadfully lost. When something starts hunting him, he takes off like hell, which only makes whatever's chasing him want to chase him more. A monster leaps out at him, only for another monster, a bigger one, to crash into it and begin guarding Jaskier. The monster that saved him resembles a giant wolf, in a way, along with more unique 'beasty' traits.. When the aggressive creature is scared away, Jaskier thanks the damn monster, before noticing that it's hurt! His very own hero! Geralt is confused that the human he saved isn't afraid of him. He is now delicately cleaning his wound and promising to bring him food and flowers as long as Geralt continues to protect him when in the forest. Geralt doesn't think it's too bad a price to pay for food. Even if it's just small treats, given how much bigger than the man he is. Geralt likes Jaskier. When Jaskier realizes Geralt is too smart to just be some animal, things start getting complicated then.

[astrxlfinale]

What does he mean by this..

Wrong and Right answers allowed.

[yuumei-art]

Be not afraid!

So a week ago, I sprained my ankle and couldn't walk for 3 days. I'm used to hiking at least an hour a day with my huskies so not being able to walk at all was driving me crazy. And in my jittery sedimentary state, I kept getting visions of this blursed being: a biblically accurate axolotl. There was nothing I could do but draw it. I'm all better now and able to walk again, now back to making less cursed art (maybe)

[macbethheadband]

Right click -> save as -> ancient curse

[sadclowncentral]

nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me ass situation to be in

[valtsv]

SEETHING rn because when i was getting ready to go out my housemate saw my platform boots and told me "watch out for low-hanging branches" thinking he was being sooooooo funny and guess what i walked straight into on my way into town. well why don't you just fucking guess.

[greseadraws]

dungeon meshi but they end up in the back rooms, a cursed idea that was eating away at my brain

[bruciemilf]

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“Bro really thought he ate with that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

[k-eke]

Cursed cats!

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

AGAIN?????

[kriz-smthn]

[prokopetz]

I feel like 90% of "ancient curses" are probably adequately explained by the fact that the self-proclaimed adventurers who ostensibly fell victim to them were, as a class, a bunch of dipshits who engaged in frequent international travel in an era before antibiotics and vaccines. Like, the list of novel pathogens these guys were risking exposure to on a regular basis was effectively "all of them". That's gotta leave a mark.

[noodles-and-tea]

Can’t take the Robin out of the boy

[imgdist0000]

drawing people i see in the city (51/?)