#and if you're simply too poor to afford anything this post is not for you either – feel free to signal boost though!

[starlene]

Since there's a wave of panic on my dash about Tumblr going under, here's a reminder that our best chance of stopping (or at least delaying) that from happening is to buy ad-free subscriptions, checkmarks, and other badges from the TumblrMart.

So if you're worried about the future of this blue hellsite, maybe check out the selection and get yourself a fun badge, or whatever. Badges start from $4/€3.75. You can also gift them to a beloved mutual if you don't want them for yourself.

That is all!

[kalims]

the day we met.

and to think i promised i wouldn't fall in love.

characters. dorm leaders

cw. not proofread

note. just some random hcs.. I wonder who can recognize what post this resembles hehe.. AKA title

pls read malleus' part mwahahaha I like it

riddle rosehearts keeps you on your toes (quite literally.) if it weren't for him you're sure you would have fallen off the horse that seems awfully intent on driving you off it's back to a face full of mud. clearly he was lying when he said 'beverly' was a fairly nice horse... she's literally the living spawn of a demon! but you can say that she counts for a pretty great wing.. horsewoman? how else would you get the esteemed riddle to handle you so delicately?

leona oddly resembles a cat... (technically he is one.) but he really likes to nap, you're sure his daily schedule involves sleeping, eating, looking dead every time of the day he's awake then going back to sleep—let's not forget the favorite thing cats love to either knead with their paws or lay on! in this case it's you. at some point you had to tip toe and keep quiet everywhere so he doesn't hear, and promptly snatch you for the rest of the day.

the bounds azul would go for you is a little concerning but you're there for them all the well. as far as you knew on campus he was banned from making contracts but the cheeky little octopus had simply smirked when he casually says that the headmaster never said out of campus.. if he isn't there then how would he know? he just has to lure out whoever was the one that was stupid enough to bother you out of campus, hm... this is a job for the eels, no?

to be honest. forget about azul, kalim would do anything for your expense. it doesn't matter if you ask directly or not, just an implication is enough to trigger his impulsive decisions. seriously though, jamil is begging you to be considerate of what you say around kalim. you don't want him actually purchasing a whole country if you accidentally imply you want to rule one. again, be careful or you'll be smothered by his love, and deep gold pockets.

vil has a tendency to stare. believe it or not, even though it might seem like it would be the other way around you do catch his gaze sometimes but he always ends up trying to play it off. maybe he's sick or something? was there something on your face? (vil: yeah perfection) you find out not to point it out though, last time you did you got ignored with a huff. more so when you catch sight of a furious blush you almost mistook as too much of the makeup product. (no such person like vil wouldn't notice how red his cheeks would be if it was that case.)

besides the unintentional spoiling from kalim (who genuinely just thinks you deserve it all as a form of his love and affection.) idia is by no means poor. how else could he afford all the latest parts for his technology? let alone whale on the games he likes to play. this man spoils you intentionally. if he knows you want a character, weapon, or certain item he's getting his hands on it and giving it all to you. a collector's item? easy. it doesn't matter if the price is too high on the bar, nothing would ever compare to you anyways.

malleus is on your side, always. it doesn't matter if you're actually wrong about something, he's siding with you and defending you with his life 💀 you burned down a building knowing full well that the fire is a big possibility? everyone makes mistakes though... according to malleus draconia everybody. one of the strongest person in twisted wonderland is either the next 100% win rate lawyer or some random person making third grade defenses. there's no in between. that or he's making the dumbest excuse and actually making good points right after.

[yokohamapound]

howdy! can we get some hcs for ranpo, chuuya, and akutagawa missing (or forgetting) their s/o’s birthday?

FungusWitch: Hello! My best bish, UnluckyAmulet, has once again graced us with a guest post of delicious headcanons, so I hope you enjoy!

Please check out her AO3! She also writes for Bleach, BNHA, Durarara, Dangan Ronpa, and JJK, among others!

Characters: Edogawa Ranpo, Nakahara Chuuya, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Contains: NSFW, birthday sex, bondage

Edogawa Ranpo

Of the three, Ranpo is far and away the smartest, in both intellect and emotional intelligence. It's very unlikely you can hide how you feel about him missing your birthday from him - even if you haven't been dating Ranpo for long, if you're his s/o, he knows you. He can read your mood like a 3-D pop-up book. It's disconcerting but also oddly comforting.

It is very unlikely he forgot your birthday - it's more probably that he was doing a job for the Armed Detective Agency and got so wrapped up in it that he temporarily set aside everything else until it was finished. When Ranpo is chasing an interesting case it's nigh on impossible to get him to focus on anything else.

Once his hyperfixation ends, though, he does feel a little guilty. You ARE the s/o to the World's Greatest Detective, after all, so logically that means you ought to be celebrated! He gets right to it, roping in poor hapless Atsushi and other members of the Agency into decorating the office for your birthday. Of course he knows what gift you want (and probably makes Atsushi, Kunikida or someone go out and actually buy it. What? He'd get lost if he had to take the train to the mall!) He still takes credit when you praise him for being so thoughtful.

Ranpo tends to be a little lazy and spoiled, but for you, on your special day, he very nobly puts that aside to spoil you for a change. You wanna go do something fun like visit an amusement park or go to a concert? Great! He'll have Fukuzawa pay for tickets! You want to do something more lowkey, maybe chilling at home cuddling and watching movies with him? Awesome, he'll get popcorn! You wanna go out partying and getting shitfaced? Well…he's not much of a drinker, but he'll still come with to dance with you and hold your hair back when you puke. (He'll make Fukuzawa come pick your drunk ass up.)

And don't forget a long, long night of some truly incredible oral - Ranpo's best asset in the bedroom is that tongue of his, so he's going to go to town on you~

Remember to lavish him with praise over what a great boyfriend he is. He needs the validation, okay?

Nakahara Chuuya

With Chuuya he was probably doing a mission for Mori and simply didn't have time to be there or he did forget. His way of making it up to you is simple - gifts. Chuuya is very wealthy thanks to being a high-ranking Port Mafia agent, so whatever you want is yours. That new Prada bag? Done. You want a spa day with all the works? Already booked. Fanciest resturaunt in town? He can just waltz in and get a table whenever he wants.

This may sound all fine and great, but Chuuya may not immediately notice how you're feeling about him missing your birthday - he'll apologise but in a "Oops, sorry, babe!" kind of way and you'll have to be upfront with him if you're actually upset. Chuuya does have a bit of a bad habit of buying your affection when he's too busy to spend time with you, because he's used to people depending on him and being seen as a provider. If you like gift-giving as a love language then you might not consider this an issue, but he does somewhat use his money to assuage feeling guilty and avoid discussing it because he doesn't like seeing you upset.

Also, Chuuya has no memories of before he was seven years old and I doubt very much he got to celebrate his birthdays much when he was running around Suribachi with the Sheep. Sure, he can afford to go ham for his birthday now, and his subordinates gives him gifts (Koyo always buys him wine), but he might not quite grasp the emotional significance of birthdays. Sit him down and explain to him that you appreciate the gifts, but you want him, YOUR BOYFRIEND to be with you, not a credit card.

To make it up to you, Chuuya will give you a birthday fuck that goes on all night. If you have a position or kink you haven't got around to requesting from Chuuya, now's the time, because he intends to make you feel so good you can barely walk the next day.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

I'm gonna be honest, Akutagawa is not particularly understanding or sympathetic. At least, not right away.

He grew up in the slums with his kid sister, surviving off scraps and learning to fight from a very young age. Akutagawa likely had no concept of what a 'birthday' even was except just being another year he's managed to survive in the hellhole he was born into. Even now he's an adult and can afford to do whatever he wants to celebrate if he so chooses, he's not a very birthday person. He always buys a gift for Gin and will get something for his superiors as a token of respect (because it's expected of him), and he'll begrudgingly tell Higuchi "happy birthday", but overall he doesn't consider them that important. He does appreciate being given gifts, but doesn't think of them as a necessity.

So if you get upset or angry with him, he's liable to bite back at first. Akutagawa has trouble apologising because he was never apologised to when he was treated poorly, so he's generally not good at owning up to his mistakes. Like Chuuya, you need to explain to him that even if he doesn't place much importance on birthdays, you do and it hurts you that he doesn't seem to care.

That will get to him. For as grumpy and quick to violence as he is, he does care about his s/o greatly and he doesn't want to lose you. He doesn't even know why you love him in the first place, but he isn't willing to throw your whole relationship away over something trivial like this. So, he'll treat you to whatever you want. He's got the money to really spoil you and he doesn't take much time off, so he'll be able to free up his schedule. (Gin will also remind him next time or help him set up a reminder on his phone so he doesn't miss it in future.)

Try not to force him to come clubbing or some other loud, crowded activity. He won't refuse because he feels bad, but he'll ruin the mood by brooding in the corner like a wilting plant and he gets overstimulated and grouchy quite quickly. But he doesn't mind treating you to a posh meal or going on a holiday or something like that.

I hope you don't mind being tied up, because once somebody explains to Akutagawa the concept of birthday sex, he will go find you immediately and use Rashomon to hold you still for hours while he works you over - that's one birthday tradition he doesn't consider frivolous~

[giantkillerjack]

the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.

[they are referring to this post]

What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."

I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.

And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.

"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.

Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.

This is "the car has stopped moving, and to move it I'd have to break my body pushing it." This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."

So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.

And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.

How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??

Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.

I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?

I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Many mainstream stores doesn't make clothes in my size, and I am now in *year 5* of needing an electric wheelchair and being unable to get one; plus I live up a flight of stairs, so I can't even bring my walker out with me - so thrift shopping is not gonna cover this. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards?

Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you too busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?

So I ask you again, are you SURE this is where you want to direct your punk energy?

Because there are a whole lot of rich people relying on people like us punching down and to the side instead of looking up to see where the money is going.

Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.

[maddy-ferguson]

unpopular opinion that i simply can’t enjoy a character that took pictures of someone undressing through a window and jancy is nearly intolerable because of it !!

i know you're so brave for being a jonathan disliker when everyone assumes that if you like byler you like jancy too...i still find that to be a baffling writing choice because. steve breaks the camera and he's supposed to be bully-adjacent so him being kind of right that jonathan was a pervert for taking pictures of nancy while she was about to have sex with him is totally up to interpretation to me like you can watch it and go oh no poor jonathan he's literally poor he can't afford to get a new one or you can also be like well that was kind of deserved wasn't it. which is normal because it's not like they're gonna hold your hand and tell you what's good and what's bad like of course characters are gonna make mistakes. but the way the story goes you're totally supposed to root for jonathan and for him and nancy to get together so it's like. they thought it wasn't gonna be that big a deal? when it definitely is like so many people are still weirded out by it seven years later?😭 and then the picture ends up being useful and jonathan barely apologizes it's not like it's a big learning moment for him or anything he's just like you were pretending to be someone you're not and then he's right? it's just such a weird writing choice to me for a character you're supposed to root for. like if you're gonna have the...tertiary antagonists call him a creep don't you want us the audience to not think he's a creep? i wonder if post-me too they would have made him do something different. because it not actually being that bad makes it so obvious that it's men coming up with the story. idk. in the show steve letting his friends write nancy the slut wheeler is his lowest point and he needed to go on an apology tour but the picture isn't even a low point it's just like yeah my bad ig. so weird. i totally get it even though at the end of the day i like jonathan...and dislike jancy for other reasons...

unpopular opinion saturday

[bonnie-is-bumbling]

How shite do people have to be?

I live in a rural town in a red state. Believe me when I say I absolutely want out, but I can't afford to go to the end of my driveway and back as it stands. (<- that is an exaggeration, but if it goes to explain anything, it's that I'm a peasant and currently cannot move forward due to financial obligations. )

So, there are Electric Vehicle charging stations, but they're so far and few here that it's ridiculous. And when new ones get installed, the town goes nuts, and not in the good way. They simply gripe about and hate on EVs, which... Fine, to each their own. We do live in an area where four wheel drive and a bit more power is necessary. Especially in the winter. I don't agree with their hate on EVs, but I get where they're coming from, only because I was raised by the super conservative "fuck your ecosystem, our money we make with fossil fuels is more important" type.

Still, their view is theirs, and they're entitled to their own opinions, as I am entitled to mine, and you are to yours. The thing I'm trying to get over is that when someone with an EV gets stranded here, they don't get help- they get made fun of. And that... That I hate!

Story time:

I work at a hotel, right off the interstate, and a woman comes in, panicked. Her Tesla has died three miles short of the nearest charger, when it claimed it had ten miles left.

I work alone, and since an EV can't be towed via a simple strap and pull (I learned that today,) I did the next best thing when tow companies wanted to charge her an arm and a leg. I hopped on ye olde book of the faces (facebook/failbook) and I asked the local group if there was anyone who could help her, even if it was a generator with enough charge to get her three miles. She was perfectly kind, and I had no qualms with doing that aside from my own social anxiety.

Three in the morning makes it just that much tougher to get help. But I know from experience that kind souls do exist in town. And while I was able to pass on a few phone numbers for her to contact, I was ashamed to see people taking the time to just hate on EVs and post nothing helpful. I get it. You're a Trump cultist. But just because you don't like something doesn't mean nobody else can use it. How disrespectful do you have to be to laugh at someone who is stranded in an unfamiliar place? Shame on you.

(And to clarify, not a shame on the reader, a shame on those laughing at this poor lady's predicament. A shame on those dissing on what she drives instead of offering some kindness. )

It's scary enough to be AFAB in the US right now. It's even scarier to be from somewhere with 24/7, tons of resources and be stuck in a dark, rural area you don't know with zero resources when you're AFAB. (It would be scary for AMAB, too! I'm not invalidating that, either.)

I guess in the end, people, no matter their political views, just need to be nicer to one another. That EV that people here don't like might be the best money saver somewhere else, like where the stranded is from. I lost a little faith in humanity today.

For those wondering, no, I could not tow her myself. While I have a capable vehicle, I have no trailer or anywhere to get one at three in the morning, and as the only staff on shift at that time, I could not leave the hotel. I passed my failbook post on to my relief, knowing that at least those I've worked with for almost three years now would be kind to her.

[undiscovered-horizon]

Imagine being a witcher and an old friend of Bjorn. In need of help, your path leads back to Kattegat, years after you've last seen your friend. - Part 3

Author's note: Finished writing this after two beers I drank while meeting a guy from Tinder. Posted later than it was supposed to, sorry lovelies!

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 4)

_______________________

"I do not wish to ask for much, as I hold no right to do so. However, I'm afraid I have to use your hospitality. The man I'm tracking is dangerous and skilled, to be sure he won't come back again, I'm going to need another pair of hands." Here (Y/N) looked at Bjorn. She didn't even have to ask him for help, the moment she entered the hall he was already prepared to agree to a general majority of possible requests she might have. "If it's not too much to ask for, I would need a place to stay until the deed is done. A small corner will suffice, I would hate to impose on you."

Witchers live modest lives, and so they are used to the poor conditions they can afford. After one spends most of their time living with scarce resources they grow accustomed to that state of things, even as much as growing fond of it and feeling discomfort in more lavish surroundings. The last time (Y/N) had a meal at a table was around three weeks ago. Feather pillows were also a distant memory in her mind.

"You're most welcome here, (Y/N)." Bjorn stepped forward. "There is enough space for you."

That evening Bjorn found (Y/N) sitting on the pier. After the sunset, the sea looked nearly as black as the sky. The white, gentle light of the moon and the stars made the dark waves shimmer in multiple silver tones as they lazily crashed against the cold sand.

It was peaceful.

The witcher was anything but peaceful. She might have been calm on the outside but worry and doubt kept gnawing at her heart, although she knew very well there was no point in pondering on something that had been settled.

Bjorn was unsure how to approach her, so for a moment he stood far behind her and simply watched the stooped figure. No more standing with her head held high and folded muscular arms, (Y/N) looked anything but intimidating. It was as if she had put down the tough image she wears each day; a boulder of responsibility and misery she had taken off her shoulders, for a moment. The longer Bjorn stared at (Y/N)'s back, the more he felt like a voyeur as if he was seeing something he was not supposed to but had difficulty fighting to urge to continue.

"I was wondering when you'll come here," (Y/N) said when Bjorn stood next to her. Witchers are known for their good hearing.

"I did not want to disturb you."

The Viking sat down next to her. The cold wind swayed the fur of his cloak. (Y/N)'s shirt was still open at the top, the ties dancing on the soft blows of the night breeze.

"Aren't you cold?" He asked.

"I'm not used to a burning hearth."

"I'm with you, (Y/N). You will get your revenge."

She looked at him for the first time that evening. Her eyes were piercing through him as if she tried to find out whether or not Bjorn's words were sincere. It was as natural to her to be suspicious as it is for a fish to have gills and fins: it was intrinsic.

"Thank you," she answered quietly and went back to watching the waves.

Bjorn studied (Y/N) for a little longer. When he met her, years ago, it was a brief few days but something about the woman made him want to know more about her. Himself, he wasn't sure what exactly made him drawn to her but he had no plans to fight it. If it was anyone else that showed up on the hall's doorstep, he would have easily declined them or hesitantly allow them to stay around for a while. With (Y/N), the case was unexpectedly different: he wanted to have an active part in the upcoming events, even if they had less than nothing to do with him. What bothered Bjorn the most, however, was the lack of knowledge of why he felt that way in the first place. For the sake of his own peace of mind, he decided to count it as divine intervention.

The man was holding pebbled in his hand. He had an interesting habit of skipping stones when in thought. Bjorn's hand was about to make a calculated and skillful throw, when (Y/N) put her hand over his.

"Don't disturb the water," she said quietly. Only then did he realize why she was so adamant about staring at the waves: something was hiding underneath the black waves.

That's when their attention was diverted by an ear-piercing scream coming from the beach. Both of them jumped up and started running towards the source of the blood-chilling sound.

What gave away that a catastrophe was awaiting, was a blood trail. The white sand underneath their feet was dirtied with a dark, thick liquid. At the end of the trail, they found two characters: a young boy without a leg, and a drowner munching on the severed limb. The boy's face was nearly as pale as the sand he was lying on.

Without batting an eyelash or pondering on second thoughts, (Y/N) took out one of her swords and swung it few times to warm up her wrist. First, she kick the sand so it blinded the monster. When the drowner's attention was directed at her, it tried to reach her with its claws but without proper eyesight, the sea monster was navigating blindly. Having this advantage, the witcher stepped to the side to avoid the festering claws, and with a single swing of her muscular arm, she cut its head off. The trophy landed maybe two meters away from Bjorn who was trying to stop the bleeding and, if Gods will it, save the little lad.

"He needs swallow herb," (Y/N) while patting her numerous pockets. It had got to be somewhere...

The witcher pulled out a tuft of weed with yellow flowers. She quickly put it in her mouth and chewed frantically. Then, (Y/N) put the green mass of grass and saliva on the boy's bleeding leg and held it tightly to stop the bleeding. His face was pale and wet with tears.

"What's your name?" she asked softly.

"A-Anders," he cried.

"Anders, can you tell me about your mother?"

Bjorn didn't dare interject, realizing what was happening in front of his eyes.

[lordymaru]

I'm about to refute this entire essay with the simple explanation being:

The only interaction we've seen of these two is when she's a freaking 8 year old. Your self insert shows no boundaries.

And this is probably the last time I'll make a post about the stupidity behind the way the pair is viewed:

Note: I know there's people out there with a brain who ship these two in a more conventional way. In the end you do you, ship whatever you want, no one can prevent you from doing that, just don't be gross about it.

One of the parts being the Significance of their first encounter:

She’s a poor peasant girl who’s suffered immense trauma, suffering, and loneliness. Her initiative to help Sesshomaru came from her generosity

Exactly, she's alone for her family had been killed before her eyes, the villagers treat her like garbage. When she meets Sess he's wounded and simply in a bad state, both mentally and physically. Both of them are, the difference being he's a demon, a powerful one and for him to have ended in such a bad shape only stabbed at his pride- Rin on the other hand is a child, a human tiny child who is vulnerable and to him she poses no threat. Both of them are weak then.

At this point, it’s observable that despite knowing her story, her scars, and her difficulties, humans do not even empathize, let alone sympathize with Rin. It is the feudal era, after all. She’s a young, disabled orphan and the villagers only see her for what she lacks: a voice, a family, and a place of belonging.

Again with your feudal era shit. I can assure you the world is just as ugly today as it was before you and I existed. Next.

When he asks about her bruises, this is the first time anyone had ever afforded her a second glance.

This was a huge step forward for Sess, a huuuuuuge one for he showed interest in another living creature, not just any creature but a human. And for her it was probably like Christmas, for no one had showed her any mercy or interest. Ok you get a point. But oh, boy, how I'm about to spit on the next one:

The audience can see Sesshomaru calculate her body language, recognizing that she is mute. Instead of pressing her further or ignoring her outright, he attempts to comfort her (in his own way), making her feel that it is okay if she chooses not to answer him; that her desire to reply to him should only be a desire, not an obligation. I think, on one hand, that was the first moment of something that would resemble compassion that Sesshomaru had ever administered, trying to put himself in her shoes — if someone had asked him to do something that required, for example, his left arm, he probably would have appreciated them saying “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to” so to provide him agency for something that he actually cannot do. And the same goes for Rin. He recognizes her disability, maybe even resonates with it and decides to empower her with a choice. Choice is important when it comes to the Sesshomaru/Rin dynamic and it’s a word that will come up often. 

Ok why are you comparing the loss of his arm to her not being able to talk? Not all disabilities are the same, you moron. Or am I dumb for thinking this way? If so, feel free to call me out on my lack of common sense kr whatever you wanna call it. Sess physically couldn't do shit with his left arm because well- it was gone! That's a physical disability. Rin had "lost" her voice after what she witnessed and so she wouldn't speak anymore. Have you heard of Psychogenic Dysphonia? If not, you can click here and give it a reading or do your own research. The more you know: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0892199703000158

So you say he "empowers her with a choice" that is "important when it comes to the Sesshomaru/Rin dynamic" let me get this straight, a choice because why? She's a child? A female? Because you said so yourself, it's the Feudal Era after all and therefore women had no choice in life, no voice, no agency, no nothing. So he was being magnanimous then? You know... This is where you start edging into the gr00ming territory. Can't you see? No? Alright, moving on.

BRUH WHAT THE FUCK?! Are you fucking good? See how you self insert? Bye. Next

The next time Sesshomaru sees Rin, it is suggested that he actively sought her, whether it be by curiosity or concern for well-being

He did... It is not suggested, he actually did asdfhkl. For both curiosity and he probably was worried. He also states he wants to test out his sword, what a perfect chance to do so for Rin is pretty much dead and that's the only way to make his sword work. So she was both being a guinea pig and an itch he wasn't quite sure how to scratch. Next.

Silence Rin.

Rin screams endlessly, annoying Sesshomaru. Firstly, this is the first time we hear him call her by her name. Secondly, Sesshomaru is visibly annoyed by her noises, however, he does not tell her to “shut up” as he normally would with Jaken or even InuYasha. He simply says “enough of that Rin, stop it.” (In Japanese he says, “Silence, Rin. You make too much noise.”) Even analyzing the Japanese dialogue, it is evidently softer than Sesshomaru’s usual ‘kisama’ (貴樣) manner of speech that we see depicted usually. This is the first time he’s had a companion who is not a demon, someone with compassion, and who has had his general best interests at heart with no expectations in return. His softer tone is a logical deduction to make.

Ok... "someone with compassion, and who has had his general best interests at heart with no expectations in return." Bruh... As if he would even consider meeting someone's expectations. Are you sure you're talking about Sess? Another thing is, he always speaks in a calm tone, he rarely yells or loses his composure- he had no reason to be rude to her either, you're excusing his regular behavior simply because she ain't Jaken. Anything else?

Rin doesn't change Sesshomaru overnight, it's a gradual and long process

Well duh!!! Just like you don't lose the pounds you gained from eating in one sit 12 donuts a week ago. Stating the obvious and for what? What's exactly your mf point?

The silence part is important, idk how to tell you there is a power imbalance in their relationship from the moment he tells her to be quiet. He didn't say please, he didn't ask her to, he told her to be quiet. Like a parent would, if I could count the times my mom told me to shush.... That's your first indicator he is not her friend, he is not her equal.

Letting you Be Yourself: The Panther Demon Arc

the first frame the audience sees in the anime sets the scene, painting the Sessshomaru entourage in a serene manner, indicating a level of comfort between group members (episode 75). This is vastly different from our last depiction of Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship. In episode 44, he was unable to withstand her (albeit annoying) childish antics. But here, it’s observable that Sesshomaru can accept her and her package of unconventional fun. Not only does he tolerate and even more so, accept Rin, but he accepts her influence on his vassal, Jaken and allows them to be free around him.

Is called developing patience. I can assure you that when you're a parent or an older bro/sis and your kid/younger sibling is noisy af you either learn to tolerate that or get used to it for kids are kids abd you have to let them be kids. Next.

She's a child, she's not stupid.

The Abducted Rin: Calling her Name

The respect that Sesshomaru shows Rin is insurmountable. However, the InuYasha franchise is clever to portray the subtlety of Sesshomaru’s respect for her. KV on Twitter points out how highly he regards his companion and never relegates her to anything less than the value that she as a person embodies (@KVndie via Twitter). He consistently humanizes her. 

He only sees how important she is to him after her ass dies a second time. What do you mean? He respects her enough to not coddle her, she is independent and taught her to be self sufficient from the very start. That's respect. He consistently humanizes her because... She ... Is ... Human! OMG WHAT A SHOCKER!

As Naraku remarks on his hostage to Sesshomaru, "Naturally, the girl you're looking for is not here…,” he continues, “the girl is in custody outside of the castle..." Naraku never makes an attempt to give her personhood, leaving her unnamed, disposable, and relegating her to a mere "girl." But Sesshomaru doesn’t take any of this. He is a cold-hearted Daiyokai, yet he still makes an effort and upholds his principle to refer to her as Rin — not a replaceable “girl.”

Naraku is a mf genius. It didn't quite click until now he wanted to see if she was important or not to him and to what extent. For he planned his moves that way, making people turn against one another. While he wouldn't have made Rin turn against Sess he set everything up so he would end up wanting to kill Kohaku and in doing so, Inugang would have engaged against Sess.

Sesshomaru’s insistence on using Rin’s name isn’t only highlighted in this isolated incident though. It pays off. It is an ongoing theme in their dynamic throughout the series.

That's her name ... How you want him to call her? Baby?

I could go on and on but... This is a fucking essay. And then I stumble against more bullcrap:

The second point I want to highlight here is Sesshomaru’s reaction to Rin’s fall and her risky expedition. At this point, it’s unquestionable that Rin has a special place in his heart.

Of course she has a special spot in his heart. I won't deny that. What worries me is how you're trying to justify the way she's important to him since she was a child. As if his way of seeing her had changed.

I'm gonna disagree by agreeing with you in a few pointers. Kagome and Kikyo were rivals, they both romantically love the same guy. Kagome being the only one who could save Kikyo chooses to help her, knowing damn well Inuyasha would have suffered if Kikyo had died- further more, if it was in Kagome's hands to do something about it.

Rin on the other hand, I will applaud to her how she grew past her fear of Kagura after being kidnapped by her, she saw her body in the river and said fuck it and did her best to try to pull her from the water. I loved how stubborn and brave she was, even tho Sess had to pull everyone out of the water- she deserves a gold star. You go baby girl!!!

Rin later makes a cheeky comment, noting Kagura’s romantic interest in Sesshomaru. Jaken brushes this off as childish naivety. But for the spectator, this establishes two things: (1) That Rin does not see Kagura as a rival for Lord Sesshomaru’s attention, let alone affection; and (2) that Rin is still a child. Rin is certainly a child, with a youthful and fresh outlook on life that brings out the best in people. But even as a child, her relationship with Sesshomaru is incredibly healthy, clear, and surprisingly communicative.

Why would she? She's not a spoiled brat

Nah? I thought her double D indicated otherwise. OF COURSE SHE'S A MF CHILD.

Why do you keep mentioning is healthy? Do you need reassurance of it? Communicative in what way? Cuz if you wanna talk about communication let's talk about how he didn't even acknowledge her ass when she gave birth. He didn't even say her name, didn't even look at her. Tell me now how they are communicative and healthy?

I could go on, I really but all I'm getting from this load of bullshit I'm forcing myself to read is how you do in fact need to reassure yourself thr ship is god tier and is... How you said it was? Ah, healthy.

Anyways, thanks for reading and if you see any typo ... My apologies, I tried. Also if you have any input or I was out of line in some way, my apologies once more.

[riceacc]

How to Teambuild on ARB And Score the Highest

Yes, even if you can’t read Japanese because I can’t either

Hey y’all, it’s Picklesz and here I am for a post I don’t think has been made yet! Although I can find some translations I don’t think anybody has made a guide on how to score the highest in this game, and with the advent of tiering — or you just want to high score contest all the songs — I think this may be helpful for newcomers or people who simply don’t know what the card skills mean (it took me a while to memorize them all too). And has someone who has played the game since day one, I know my way around things :)

Disclaimer that this is based on my own research from playing the game for over a year and figuring out what's good myself although I think I am right

Anyways, on with the guide!

What Actually Matters?

In ARB, there are a few things that matter when you build a team, some way more important than others. Namely, there are three things. In order of most importance:

1. Leader Skill

This is clearly the most important. Leader skill determines how much of a stat boost you will get, and some of them won't apply unless you meet certain criteria (but more on that later).

2. Auto Skill

Auto Skill determines what boost you get while playing a song. These can either make passing the song easier or increase your score: obviously you want increasing your score if you want to score the highest.

3. Stat Synergy with the Leader Skill

The least important but should at least be mentioned. Leader skills can boost one, two, or three stats (though there's only two cards in the game that I know of that increase three stats). If you get late game, you'll want to have all your cards in your team to have their highest stat/stats be the one that the leader increases.

I will be going over all these in depth! So lets start with the most important one.

Leader Skills

Leader skills are the first thing you need to think about when building your team. Generally, there are only two leader skills that you want when building your team: multi-division and division only. These skills, however, have specific requirements; if you don't meet them, your skill will not activate. Multi-division requires that the cards on your team be from three or more divisions, while division only requires that all your cards be from the same division.

These skills are the best skills because they have a higher boost than all up and division up (division only and division up are different). If your leader skill is maxed, multi-division and division only will boost your stats by 120% while all up and division up will only be 90%. Even their level one are better, so unless you have a maxed all up card and not a multi-division/division only, you should always be using one of those two skills.

Examples of the skills:

The text on the right side of the slash signifies what type of leader skill it is, this one multi-division. Notice how the text below has 120% in it...

While this card only has 90%. This skill is all up, and as stated earlier is less than either multi-division or division only adds up to.

So when it comes to division up and division only, how can you tell the difference? This card is an MTC only card. Notice how it has character after MTC...

While this one does not. This one is simple division only, division being MTC on this one. These type of cards will all have their division abbreviation to tell you which one it is (BB, MTC, FP, M, BAT, and DH).

So, how do you upgrade these cards to get to the 120% percent? Well, there's two ways: star pieces and leader skill tokens.

Star pieces you can use on any card! You can get them from tiering in events and in the biscuit shop once a month. However, you can only get the gold biscuits to buy them from selling SSRs and SRs, so I recommend selling dupes from the event box that you don't want to get these and use them on cards you do want.

Leader skill tokens you can also use on any card but there is no way to actually get them. You have to wait until ARB decides to give them out, usually on half-anniversary or anniversary - that's the only time we've got them in the past.

One last thing: in the long run, you want a leader skill that increases one stat only. This is because the boost stacks much better when it increase one stat by 120% rather than two stats by 60% (all stats doesn't exist on any multi-division or division only card so don't worry about it). You can tell if it increases one or two stats, because one stat will say 120% in the description while two stats will say 60%. However it's really not a big deal unless you really need those few thousand extra points and you have like. Ten maxed cards so you can afford to be picky.

Auto Skills

The bread and butter of your team. While you only need one card to have a good leader skill, ideally every member of your team will have a good auto skill that boosts your score (from here on out, I will be referring to score boosts as simply boosts).

So what is a good auto skill? Well, if you're just starting out, it's any skill that scores, but if you want to score the highest there are four specific skills you want: critical tap, combo boost, perfect boost, and tap boost. Don't worry, I will actually be at least briefly going over every auto skill because there are a LOT and being able to recognize the text for each one is important (although unfortunately due to the ten image limit I can only show pictures of the best ones 😭). So in order of best to worst, here are all the auto skills!

Critical Tap

Look for 4% in the auto skill description!

Easily the best auto skill. It gives you a 4% boost on all notes, with the caveat of being the timing on notes gets stricter. You can disregard that because it literally does not matter if you get a perfect or not when you are getting a 4% boost on every note you tap and if you're reading this guide you're probably getting full combo anyways. This the the highest boost you can get on every single note so having at least one of these is amazing.

Combo Boost

Look for 3% in the auto skill description!

Basically a poor mans critical tap. You get a 3% boost on all notes as you as you keep your combo. Again, most of y'all are probably getting full combo anyways and if not you can always use the autoplay cassettes!

Perfect Boost

Look for the word "perfect" and 3% in the description!

A poor mans combo boost (see the pattern here?). You get a 3% boost on all notes as long as they are perfects. You probably shouldn't use this with critical tap if you don't get a lot of perfects as the timing gets harder but it still is the third best auto skill.

Tap Boost

Look for 1% followed by 3% in the description!

Lastly, the poor mans perfect boost. You get a 1% boost on all notes except tap notes; you get a 3% boost on tap notes. As the overwhelming majority of notes are tap notes, you can essentially disregard the 1% part unless you are playing Ore Ga Ichiro which I swear has a flick note every other note.

Those are the best auto skills in the game, however there are many others. I'll go over them all briefly here :)

Scratch Note Boost

Look for 2% followed by 6% in the description!

You get a 2% boost on all notes except scratch notes; you get a 6% boost on scratch notes. The 6% boost sounds nice except you rarely have scratch notes so uh. 2% boost on all notes is not very good.

btw the green notes are scratch notes if you didn't know

Long Note Boost

Look for 2% followed by 3% in the description!

You get a 2% boost on all notes except long notes; you get a 3% boost on long notes. This doesn't even have a niche because you can literally get a 3% boost on every note with combo or perfect and a 4% boost with critical tap. Literally what were they thinking when they made this skill. Don’t use it.

Flick Note Boost

Look for 2% followed by 15% in the description!

You get a 2% boost on all notes except flick notes; you get a 15% boost on flick notes. That sounds nice until you again remember you rarely have flick notes except when playing Ore Ga Ichiro Part A. In fact, some songs like Sensenfunkuukou Part A (god I hope I spelled that right, Jiro's first solo if I didn't) don't have a single flick note in it despite the fact they give this skill to every Buster Bro event card I swear. So really just stay away from this one too.

Perfect Up

Don't look for anything this skill sucks 😭 but for real this skill will simply have the word "perfect" in the description.

PLESE DO NOT USE THIS SKILL UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. This skill makes all of your notes perfects. It does NOT score at all. If you are aiming to score obviously you do not want a skill that doesn't not score. I am so sorry if you rerolled for ARB Riou or Dice back in the day because they both have this skill and it SUCKS and does NOTHING.

Um. Anyways. Here're info on how to upgrade skills and what they do!

You can upgrade your skills with either skill tokens or rainbow auto skill tokens. Upgrading your auto skill makes your skill last for longer whenever it activates and will have a shorter time in between activations, so you definitely want to upgrade them.

You can buy skill tokens in the event shop, biscuit shop, or coin shop. You need three mic tokens and ten attribute tokens for every level, and once you hit level 5, you need specific division tokens as well. It is pretty expensive but it does get easier over time to stockpile.

The rainbow auto skill token you can only get either when they give them out OR you completely empty the event box of the rate up card. Once you do that, they replace the rate up card with the rainbow auto skill token. You have to either be ridiculously lucky in the box or spend every minute in the game or both to do this, but it is possible.

Now that that long section is over, on to the last part of this guide!

Stat Synergy with Your Leader Skill

As alluded to earlier, you eventually want all your cards highest stats to be the stat your leader skill boosts. Honestly, you should NOT worry about this until you have several maxed auto skill cards and a maxed leader skill to use it with. But for those who are at that point, here's an example of the stat synergy I am talking about.

These teams technically have the same skills (the Jyuto and Riou card I switched have the same auto skills). In fact, on paper the second team should score higher because I've upgraded the Jyuto card's leader skill so his power score is higher than Riou's. But because their stats are different, the Riou card actually works better on this team because it works better in line with the leader skill and leads to the teams ultimate power score being 2,000 points higher, a pretty noticeable difference.

The case is not always so clear cut, because, well, not all cards have the same auto skill. But if you want to score the highest, especially if you are tiering, you will want to keep this in mind.

So how do you figure out the trade-off between stats and skill when the cards you are switching don't have the same auto skill? Honestly, you just have to play a no attribute song twice and find out :( I don't have a surefire way to track this. In my experience if you are debating between two cards and one of them is Riou the Riou card always scores higher. I do not know why and that is probably just me because I own all of his event cards but uh. Put Riou card on your team :)

Anyways! To increase your stats you actually have to enhance the leader skill of your card. Those ways were outlined earlier, but this part of the guide is why I actually recommend you enhance event cards of characters with good auto skills that you KNOW you are going to use. If they have a good auto skill you can get a max card with maxed stats for free! Again I would not do this unless they have auto skill and you WILL use them since it takes a lot of time but it is totally worth it.

That's all for my teambuilding guide! If you guys would like to see more guides on ARB I am more than happy to make more! Feel free to send my any questions through my ask or reblog and ask :) Take care!

[oldfritz]

I'm genuinely curious and don't want to start something! Just wanted to ask what you make of the 'Old Fritz might've been asexual' take, I don't know much about him and I feel you're one of the best people to ask esp since you lean towards 'he was probably queer in some way' too

Hey there! So, first off, don’t ever worry about me interpreting you asking me a question as starting something. As much as I love making dumb jokes about the guy, I love nothing more than doing this kind of stuff and defending or explaining my points. There’s two degrees I want to get over the next decade: first my JD and then my MA in Prussian history. I live for this stuff! Always have! Second off, I’m very sorry for not getting to this sooner. Things have been incredibly stressful for me for a variety of different reasons which have made answering your question, until now, rather difficult. Putting this under a cut because, holy shit, it got long!

My personal reasoning for why I think he’s bi (which, correct me if I’m wrong, I’m assuming is what you meant instead of ace and could be a different post entirely since some historians have tried to argue that) stems more to do with some of my lingering questions about the nature of his relationships with certain woman, rather than that of his relationships with men. To me and my modern, queer eye, Fritz’s relationships with men like Hans Hermann von Katte, Francisco Algarotti, Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf, and (much to my personal vexation) one Monsieur Voltaire are either outright homosexual/homoerotic in nature or very, very easily lend themselves to that interpretation rather than strictly romantic friendships (which Wikipedia does a fairly good overview of and, if you’re coming to me from AmRev perspective, uses Hamilton and Laurens’ relationship as a familiar example). While I’m avoiding those relationships in this ask, I’d be more than happy to elaborate upon one/all of them in a different one. 

Before I go into the big pauses that Fritz’s relationships with Madame von Wreech and Countess Orzelska give me, I want to deny the use of Fritz’s wife as an example of Fritz’s attraction to woman. While this, admittedly, may sound odd, we have ample evidence of how turned off and repulsed Fritz found Elisabeth Christine. Before he had even met her, Fritz was complaining about how she was ‘not very pretty, speaks but little, and acts like a blockhead’ (Asprey, 87) and, later, admitted to Grumbkow his plan to ‘keep my word,...get married, but afterwards it will be a case of that is that, and goodbye, Madame, and fare thee well’ (Jones, 52). For Christ’s sake, the man pitied her knowing how his treatment would leave her as ‘one more unhappy princess in the world’! Which is little consolation when you remember he also referred to her with such romantic terms as ‘this unpleasant creature,’ ‘the abominable object of my desires,’ ‘the person,’ and claimed to have preferred to marry ‘the biggest whore in Berlin’ (Asprey, 87). And while we (fortunately? unfortunately?) know quite a bit about their sex life, Fritz largely regarded it as just another duty - to quote him, ‘I will only have the duty to fuck’ (Ibid, 87). And while Seckendorf heard - first, presumably from Count von der Schulenburg and, later on, Count Friedrich von Wartensleben, a close and intimate friend of the then-crown prince - that Fritz would ‘fuck and refuck’ Elisabeth Christine and that said act occurred in the afternoon, it still was out of a sense of obligation (Bely, 481-2). When reminded that if he wanted more money for frivolities, he’d need to produce an heir, Fritz bemoaned that he ‘cannot sleep with my wife out of desire, and when I do sleep with her, I do it out of duty rather than inclination’ (Clark, 50). All this in accumulation, as well as the myriad of other quotes and incidents I’ve left out, makes one wonder why his relationship with Elisabeth Christine is sometimes used by historians to prove any sort of heterosexual impulse in the man when she’s the woman with the weakest supports for that argument.

That being said, now we get to the women with a more muddled places in his romantic escapades, if you will. What exactly happened between Orzelska and Fritz during his trip with his father to Dresden in 1728? The main source for everything that occurred during this trip is Wilhelmina, who didn’t attend and without anything about this specific incident coming from Fritz or Friedrich Wilhelm I, make it rather hard to use as concrete, irrefutable proof. Now, if her recollections were contemporaneous - like coming from a diary or journal she kept at the time - that would be one thing. But it comes from her memoirs which, while a delightful read 10/10 recommend, are written decades after this trip took place and, memory being a finicky thing, can’t be taken to the bank. All those disclaimers, here’s the story as told by her:

‘One evening...,the King of Poland [note: Augustus II] insensibly led the King of Prussia to a very richly decorated room...The King of Prussia, delighted with what he saw, stopped to contemplate all its beauties, when [all of] a sudden a tapestry was rolled up, which procured him a very novel sight. It was a lovely female in a state of nudity [note: Countess Orzelska, the Polish king’s daughter], carelessly reclined on a couch. Her beauty excelled that of the finest pictures of Venus and the Graces; her body seemed of ivory, whiter than snow, and better shaped than that of the Venus de Medicis at Florence.

...Scarcely had the King cast his eyes on the fair one, than he turned about with indignation; and seeing my brother behind him, he rudely pushed him out of the room, and left it immediately after in a violent irritation against the trickery they had attempted to practice on him. ...In spite of the King’s vigilance, [Frederick] had had time to contemplate the Venus of the closet, who did not cause him so much horror as she had done to his father. (Wilhelmina’s Memoirs, vol. 1, 107-6)

Wilhelmina then goes on to claim Fritz had fallen ‘passionately in love’ with Orzelska and that the illness Fritz experienced upon returning home was simply being lovesick. Pinning the accuracy of this story is incredibly difficult because, again, we have only one source relayed decades after the fact and from two volumes of memoirs known to have inaccuracies. While I, personally, would love if he had had a tryst with Orzelska (who is such a badass in her own right and deserves more recognition than as a footnote in this guy’s story), there’s no one way to say with more than 30% confidence. I am inclined to believe something along these lines happened because if someone told me a story like this, lord knows I wouldn’t forget it for the rest of my life. And, with Wilhelmina being so close with her brother, it lends a bit more credence but as to the actual emotional or physical response Fritz had to it, well, without my time machine, I can’t and don’t want to say.

With Madame Eleonore-Louise von Wreech, things are a little more concrete. For starters, Fritz actually talked about her! In written correspondence that survived! We even have seven letters between the two of them that survived, which is a bigger win! As Blanning says, they’re ‘ardent but light in tone, ironic, almost flippant, and highly stylized’ (Blanning, 58). Their relationship was known to those close with Fritz at the time that Schulenberg felt compelled to visit and warn the crown prince against devoting himself to women because ‘the slight pleasures gained cause a million displeasures.’  Fritz’s response? To tell the poor guy that he may have ‘the gift of continence, but I assure you that I do not’ (Asprey, 83-4). Firtz even went so far as to send a letter to her mother, waxing poetic about Louise’s ‘beauty, her majestic air, her bearing, and her entire department.’ It’s worth noting that Louise eventually broke off the affair due to being bored by how he ‘loved [her] too much and often annoyed [her] with his clumsy love’ (Ibid, 84). Contemporaries, including Friedrich Wilhelm, believed Fritz had impregnated her with a daughter who her ‘cuckolded husband would refuse to recognize’ (Blanning, 58). Blanning is the only source I’ve seen dispute this due to this news coming from Seckendorf, who didn’t reveal how he came about this information; that Fritz and Madame von Wreech’s correspondence doesn’t indicate a physical relationship; and on the fact that she was not pregnant. I haven’t been able to find the birth dates or any sort of records for Louise’s two daughters to figure out where their conception could’ve been in the timeline and if it matches with the likely dates for the affair, but I also don’t have the resources Cambridge would afford Blanning. Either way, while the physical nature of the affair is in dispute, the emotional aspect certainly was there. Especially when taking into consideration the fact that she’s the woman Fritz was likely referring to in the 16 August 1737 letter to Voltaire where he claimed she had taught him how to love (and also inspired him to write poetry, which we shouldn’t be thankful for). Specifically, all these years later, he stated how ‘this little miracle of nature possessed every possible charm, together with good taste and delicacy. She sought to transfer these qualities to me. I succeeded well in love but poorly in poetry. Since that time I have very often been in love and have always been a poet’ (Fritz’s Oeuvres, vol. 21, 96).

All this to say, there’s a bit too much evidence of some degree of opposite-gender attraction in Fritz to completely write off the possibility that he could’ve been bisexual. While it’s undeniable he held a preference for men and that’s whose company he typically enjoyed, I still do find it interesting the two exceptions (one potential and the other with a fair degree of certainty) to this. And, while I would never want his attraction to men be minimized in favor of that to women, it still remains important to note to get the most comprehensive picture of the man.

[undefined5posts]

Credit: Jordan J. Lloyd

I've been trying to dive deeper into politics, discover the genuine roots of our society, the origins of our beliefs, and the consequences of our economic system. It's a big, long, wide journey and through multiple sources such as articles, images, videos and multiple social media platforms, I've been trying to educate myself more on important subjects.

Communism, capitalism, libertarian, conservative, the left, the right, the history, the impact. It is scary to commit to everything because once you start, you simply cannot stop, once you start waking up your conscience about the horrible reality, the lies, the truths, you cannot put it back to sleep. You can't just ignore prejudice, especially when you're extremely conscious of it's omnipresence. I have continually tried to build my own opinions all while actively creating bullet point arguments in my mind because I just know that at some point I will have to defend my thinking, and I want to do it right.

Now, I am so far from being enlightened, I am a beginner and an amateur in all of those themes, but I am trying, which is the only way to start and grow.

So to tell you about my beliefs, I am a militant human rights activist, I believe in equal opportunities regardless of gender identity, sex, religion, sexual orientation, ethnicity, race and disability. This is a fact, not a belief, but the system was obviously not built to protect all people, its wasn't created to serve everyone equally but to grant a privilege to some and harm others. The current state of the world is not a slip, an accident or a misfunction of our brilliant system but a testament of it operating remarkably well. I believe that equity leads to equality, and I believe that we cannot "fix" methodologies that were immorally created with absolutely no honor whatsoever. I believe in reproductive rights, in legal, safe abortions for anybody who needs one. I believe in the decriminalization of marijuana. I believe that the death penalty is a despicable punition that should be banned as soon as possible. I believe in defunding the police and the military. I believe that it is a shame that I even have to talk about police brutality, I don't want to have to say that it is one of the most horrible things our world has originated, I feel extremely dense when I do because it seems like the most obvious certitude and I refuse to believe that this is a controversial statement. I believe that everything I have just stated, along with many more, isn't anything grand but the bare minimum, the bar is low, and yet, we still have the fight for basic human decency.

Humanity has become an option. We have normalized supporting people that represent everything wrong in this world under the name of tolerance. The left has never claimed to be tolerant towards hateful beings, We have never accepted homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism and sexism. We cannot, for exemple, accept nazis, as too much tolerance inevitably leads to intolerance. This picture explains it perfectly:

I consider myself a communist/ socialist. The two terms still confuse me a little, some say they are the same, some say they differ quite a bit. What I know is that socialism is the transitional period between capitalism and communism. At the end of the day, the final result and goal is a stateless, moneyless and clasless society that will provide to each his need.

Our capitalistic society has brainwashed us way more than you may think. It is the root of so many of our issues, the underground demon of our problems. Every idea, thought, belief, and misconception of ours were all affected by our current economic system. It has sold us the billionnaire dream which is one of the most toxic things capitalism has offered. We have looked up to billionaires for way too long, why are they so idolized? Most of them come from high upper class families that can easily afford to invest in their inventions and creations. After starting up their companies and occasionnaly stealing other's people ideas to ultimately get undeserved merit, they then can start to properly exploit their hardworking employees's labour. And for unlimited hours and a minimum wage which probably won't even suffice you to survive, you will have to either pick up more shifts or a second or even third job, especially if you have a family to support. All while the CEO barely does any of the work and gets all the praise and money. So no, they don't all come from really poor families and have built everything for nothing.

The worst thing is that we've been so gaslit and brainwashed that we're proud of our own exploitation, we are wired to think that to be successful we have to suffer, work 10 jobs we all hate, constantly pick up extra hours, have 2 hours of sleep, have no free time to do anything we love, waste our entire youth, be depressed our entire adulthood, to finally have a few pennies to spend when we're eighty. We so strongly believe that this is the only right way to be successful that I don't think many of us have dared to question it's authority, and even if we do, we quickly accept that this a truth, a fact we cannot change and this is just the way things are.

We have capitalized water, food, land, forests, oceans, space, and everything in betweeen. Money is social construct and we have deliberately let it take over our lives. To think about the wasted opportunities and the misery that we have to endure so others can enjoy life truly angers me.

Also, communism is not an ideology that has every actually taken place. Despite what they say, there was never actually a communist country. However, every nation that has attempted a socialist system, for exemple Burkina Faso, has thrived. But of course, once capitalist countries noticed that, they decided to murder it's leader. So in conclusion, the only reason socialism failed is because of capitalism and it's interventions.

"As President (1983-1987), Sankara initiated economic reforms that shifted his country away from dependence on foreign aid and reduced the privileges of government officials; he cut salaries, including his own, decreed that there would be no more flying in first class or driving Mercedes as standard issue vehicles for Ministers and other government workers. He led a modest lifestyle and did not personally amass material wealth. President Sankara encouraged self-sufficiency, including the use of local resources to build clinics, schools and other needed infrastructure. [...] President Sankara promoted land reform, childhood vaccination, tree planting, communal school building, and nation-wide literacy campaigns. He was committed to gender equity and women’s rights and was the first African leader to publicly recognize the AIDS pandemic as a threat to African countries. Although Sankara became somewhat more authoritarian during his Presidency, his ideas, and the possibility that they could spread, were viewed by many as posing the greatest threat. President Sankara was assassinated during a coup led by a French-backed politician, Blaise Compaoré, in October 1987. Compaoré served as the President of Burkina Faso from October 1987 through October 2014, when he himself was overthrown."

Via:https://africandevelopmentsuccesses.wordpress.com/2015/02/28/success-story-from-burkina-faso-thomas-sankaras-legacy/

I have been reading and watching some amazing human rights activists, notably Angela Davis, Malcolm X and James Baldwin. The people that were villainized, labeled as violent and radical, when every single word that came out of their mouhs were pure facts. They are probably some of the most eloquent people I have had the pleasure of hearing. Every sentence, every argument, every single detail made so much sense and opened my mind to so many new realizations. This is the perfect exemple of how the media tarnishes the reputation of wise black women and men. I would strongly advise you to research more about them.

"Socialism & communism are demonized in the west to the point of erasing influential individuals' socialist advocacy. Heres a short list of people you may not have known were socialists/ communists:

MLK

Albert Einstein

Nelson Mandela

Frida Kahlo

Tupac Shakur

Mark Twain

Malcom X

Oscar Wilde

Bertrand Russell

Hellen Keller

Pablo Picasso

George Orwell

Shia LaBeouf

John Lennon

Woody Guthrie

Socialism & communism are not dirty words. Some of the most brilliant minds of our history were socialists and communists. Embrace it." Via @sleepisocialist on twitter

So what else can I say, capitalism has ruined our society and the way we act and think. I know a lot of people refuse to support communism because they think it's too much of a perfect ideal utopian world for it to ever actually exist. And to that I say, first of all, so you agree, it is a wonderful theory, and second of all, a world without racism, sexism, homophobia or any kind or discrimination could also be perceived as "too ideal to actually exist", but does that mean I'm giving up on talking, educating myself and others, protesting and trying to build a better future? Absolutely not. This is the objective, it would be so dumb to think that we just couldn't achieve that so let's not even try.

I want to talk more in detail about communism, theory, human rights, etc... but I don't want to make this post any longer. I will however be posting more about it soon enough.

I know this is a little different than what I usually post, but I want to speak, tell you all my own opinions, I don't want to just repost activism related stuff. I'll continue to do that, but not exclusively. I know it won't get as many interactions as my other posts, but this is what I needed at some point in my life, and if I could make understanding some basic informations easier to some people, it'll already be a great accomplishment.

Thank you for reading.

[btssunnyboy]

Becoming Mine - Jeon Jungkook Part 1/?

In which the fairly new employee has an admirer

Word Count - 4,048

Warning - This is yandere and the whole series will have many yandere related events! Profanity and the mentions of looking down a shirt and seeing cleavage.

If anyone has any ideas they’d like to contribute, please feel free to send them my way!

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Mr. Jeon pinched the bridge of his nose in aggravation, while letting out a small huff of air as he stared at the trembling man before him. The man fiddled with the stacks of paper at his fingertips, and scanned each and every line hoping to find a solution, but every single one seemed to have a flaw within its codes. The numbers were far too low considering the amount of business ideas the company had sold this year. The man gave a short and almost panicked like cough when he noticed how violently Mr. Jeon’s leg was shaking underneath the table. The back of his heels that were repeatedly tapping away at the tiles were driving the man insane, the sound echoing in his brain like it was telling him to watch out for a dangerous situation is headed your way.

Patience for the problem at hand was growing thin in Jeon, too thin for anyone's liking.

If someone doesn't get these numbers corrected there will be hell to pay. Jeon loved to dish out servings of his sadistic like plans to those who were unfortunate enough to cross those boundaries. He'll make sure they receive what’s coming to them no matter what. Sweat was beginning to form in beads upon his employee’s forehead. The sight alone almost made him laugh, since Mr. Jeon knew if he only paid attention a bit more than the problem like this wouldn't have occurred at all.

The mess could have simply been avoid if only he was fucking paying attention for once in his pathetic life. Mr.Jeon's harsh eyes glared burning holes into the poor man temple.

"Rufus, I'm trying to remain professional because I know mistakes happen, but this is utterly ridiculous." He seethed through his teeth. His hands were now clenched before him, his whole demeanor was absolutely furious. You could practically see the smoke shooting out of his ears.

"I'm so sorry! I watched them go over these sets a million times I'm truly, and deeply sorry." Rufus sputtered out, as he frantically shoved his glasses back onto the bridge of nose. The sweat was pooling on his palms, and his pants were almost soaked with how much he's wiped his clammy hands on them. He didn't even give himself a chance to breath when he tried recalculating the numbers by hand.

"Your department better be lucky that these numbers aren't due until tomorrow night." Mr. Jeon spoke calmly. Even though, everything at this moment was completely opposite. He tapped away at the wooden surface of his desk, while Rufus gave a great nod of understanding. "What are you still doing here? Go fix these fucking numbers."

"O-Oh! Right Sir!" Rufus said, gripping tightly at the messed up papers. Not giving a care at this moment as he clenched them all beneath his fist and threw the wrinkled papers into the brown file organizer. A hastily escape was made as he fumbled on his feet to get out of the office completely. His sweaty palms once more giving him trouble as they refused to stay solid against the cold, metal doorknob. Giving it one last tug he yanked the door open swiftly and made his departure, making sure not to look back even as he closed the door.

Rufus could feel the fury clawing around inside of his chest at the thought of that embarrassing moment. The big big boss almost chewed his head off and that's never a good sign. Mr. Jeon will probably now view the department as a failure thus forcing everyone to quit, or he'll simply fire them. Either way the business will find a new management team who could actually keep up with their required task. If he loses his job then he's royal screwed.

"How in the hell did these numbers turn out lower than expected!" Rufus bellowed as he swung open the main door to enter his domain. The frame smacking its self on the nearby wall, gaining everyone’s attention. His sharp eyes stared down each and every employee in that room. Their eyes were cast downwards refusing to meet the eyes of a main who held nothing, but fire in his being. Rufus's demeanor changed within a snap of his fingers ever since he left the main boss' office. He was made out like a fool, and he was gonna make them feel the exact same way. "I don't have all day."

No one said a single word as he waved around the brown file organizer. Everyone shared confused looks between them all. They were for sure those numbers were calculated correctly. All those numbers were the profits the company has made and the numbers were sky rocketing. What happened? That the question that plagued everyone's mind, but no one had any clue as to what the answer might be.

Rufus's eyes finally landed on you. You pondered on the solutions to this problem. It had to happen fast or a lot of people were gonna be in deep trouble. You eyed the brown organizer that was hanging loosely from his grip. It was like a cartoon lightbulb dinged brightly above you head.

That's it, the brown file organizer is not the right one at all! The folder for this year was in a soft blue color. The wheels on your office chair slung you a bit to the right as you raced towards the drawers that held all the recorded numbers. Skimming through each one as briskly as you could. That organizer was here somewhere, it has to be here. No one, including you, could afford to lose this job.

You let out a sigh of relief as your fingers made contact with the plastic material of the organizer. There in all of its blue glory was your ticket to keeping your job, as well as the others. The drawer made a harsh clank as it was abruptly shut. Your heels clicked rapidly against the tiles as you raced against the clock to deliver the precious organizer.

"What is that?" Rufus sighed, motioning towards the blue plastic that was clutched in your painted fingertips.

"These are the correct numbers, you grabbed last years by mistake." You smiled as you tried to gingerly hand it over. Seeing as he would have to take it back up to Mr. Jeon and get them approved. His face quickly flashed from relief to the sinister. "Rufus what's the matter? Are you okay?"

"I was specifically told all the right papers were in this brown organizer! Why the hell do you have a blue one."

The profanity that left his lips without hesitation didn't affect you as it happened so often. Although he's making it seem like it's your fault that he grabbed the wrong one. You never told him to grab the brown one at all, you didn't even tell him which one it was period. This was his mistake, and he's not taking credit for it. It's absolutely pitiful.

"I remember you asking what color was last years and we responded with brown, and then we proceeded to say that this years color was blue." You corrected as you held it out once more. A dry scoff past through his lips as he harshly shoved the organizer into your stomach. "What?"

"Take it up there and explain to him why this mix up even happened. Let's see if you can handle the main boss and his wrath." After he spoke his final words he trudged to his office in the back.

Turning around you noticed everyone's eyes on you. Their sympathetic smiles only hurt you feelings more. You wish you could tell them it was fine, that mistakes happen. Even in a company like this, but with Rufus' new outburst you're afraid to even open you mouth at all.

"L/n! Get going!"

With that command you rushed off in the opposite direction. You tried not to draw that much attention as you walked right up the familiar glass door. When your eyes landed on his laser focused figure your legs grew weak almost giving in, and letting your body fall towards the floor. The thought of him yelling at you, saying you're disturbing him only made you want to race back to your original post and let someone else handle this. This should be Rufus after all not you.

You banged on the glass as lightly as you could and waited for his eyes to at least glance at the door. When it didn't happen you almost took that as your chance to bolt back downstairs. You’d just have to make up a lame excuse and say he was busy or not in his office at the moment.

"Rufus where - " Mr. Jeon stopped dead in his words when he noticed a more feminine looking figure in the other side of the glass. No gray hair, but a full colored one, no nasty black dress pants, but smooth legs connected to a very fitted pencil skirt. He could honestly say he was really enjoyed the view.

You tried to calm your breathing as you pushed open the door to let it swing open fully. The moment your entire body was in full view Mr. Jeon physically felt the breath leave his body. He was astonished at the person who was standing before him, he's never seen someone so breathtakingly beautiful. For the first time in his whole laugh he couldn’t muster up the rights words to say.

"Mr. Jeon I'm so sorry if I’m interrupting, but Rufus sent me with the correct numbers this time. Would you like to go over them?"

The way his name fell from your lips was sending the poor man in a full on spiral. His world felt like it was beginning to take a new form. A new form that was making him feel something he's never felt before, and he was now determined to keep this feeling alive and blooming. This was the one thing he was going to nurture like no tomorrow and make sure you're always by his side. All he needed was for you to agree and it was gonna be a piece of cake, hopefully.

All he needed was your name, and then he could get his hands on anything he needed to make you his.

"Oh you're not interrupting at all, but who are you?" His voice was filled with curiosity and you could actually understand it. The two of you have never formally met considering it was Rufus who hired you to work underneath him.

"Oh! I'm Y/n L/n, I work in the marketing department." You smiled as you extended a hand. What surprised you the most was how gently he took your hand into his. Like it was make of tender glass and if anything touched it, it would shatter into a million pieces. You've heard so many stories about how this man was as ruthless and conniving as they come. Yet here he is treating a stranger like they’re a delicate rose that needed strong protection and a gentle hand to do the protecting.

"I'm sorry we haven't formally met, but better late then never right, but let's see those numbers." He smiled as he gestured to the seat in front of him. That smile grew a bit wider when he noticed you pull the chair a bit closer. While doing this your body was leaned forward and when his eyes noticed your cleavage that was peeking out through the small dip in your shirt, his breath hitched. Purple suits her, oh god I bet that color would suit my floor even better.

"Are you okay, Mr. Jeon?" You questioned when the legs of the chair were finally sturdy against the tiles. Your caring eyes were full of concern as you stared at him. No sick motive behind you words, just genuine and honest concern.

"Of course don't worry about me, now back to these numbers."

Your fingers skimmed the lines of number that were printed onto the page. Making sure to note which numbers corresponded with which sales for that period. This company truly was a force to be reckoned with. Since it easily became one of the richest and most powerful companies within a few years. All that progress was made possible by the CEO Jeon Jungkook.

"Miss. l/n can I have a little bit more of your time before you go, I have an important question I need to ask you." He asked while you began to stand up and gather the correct numbered papers and neatly placed them into the empty folds of the organizer.

"Of course, Mr. Jeon. What is it?"

"How does Rufus treat his workers, is he as good of a boss as he claims to be?" He asked while intertwining his hands and leaning forwards on his desk. His eyebrows raised and his head tilted just slightly. The hesitation in your answer made his hands tighten ever so slightly. "How does he treat everyone? I need an answer."

"I mean he treats us good, but usually tries to rush things."

"Miss L/n, I don't appreciate when I'm being lied to straight to myself face. Now I'm gonna ask you one more time. What is his attitude back in that department like?" Mr. Jeon snapped. Just as before he was losing his patience, he needed this answer desperately. He finally wanted a reason to cut Rufus off at the knees and watch him crumble at the thought of losing the one thing that is keeping him afloat.

"He used to be really understanding and such, but now he rushes us and then proceeds to pile work-load upon work-load on us. He's agitated all the time and never sees anything as his fault it's always someone else's." You confessed as you fiddled with the hem of your blouse. Acting like the small, black button on the bottom was the most important thing in the world.

"Thank you for your cooperation and if you’re interested in a new swag from Rufus I’m almost positive I have a few new openings.” He added before you started walking out the door. His eyes lingering a bit longer on parts of your body that those eyes shouldn’t be looking at.

"I'll see if I can come by later, thank you Mr. Jeon."

"You're welcomed and you can call me Jungkook from now on."

You gave a small nod and quickly made your way out the door. Jungkook smiled like he has just seen the gates of heaven, but just the mere thought of you was more endearing than heaven itself. A dazzling smile had graced his face. He could feel a warm sensation taking over his body as he watched you walk down the end of the hallway and disappear into the crowds of people that flooded the office halls. When he was for certain that no one was going to bother him he quickly rolled around to his computer.

His sharp fingers typing at rapid speed against the white keyboard. Dozens of searches popping up, but none matching the description of the one person he needed. A groan of disapproval was lodged in his throat as nothing was coming up. Your file was somehow hidden from his view. His nails dug indents into the palms of his hands since his grip was iron tight. He needed to keep his temper under control he couldn’t afford to cause a scene on his office and have people rushing in.

He couldn’t afford to let people see his darling on his computer when you were supposed to he for his eyes only.

A small ding alerted him of a new notification. A new file had finally been added to the company database. By the grace of god that file was none other then yours. That beautiful face adoring his computer made his heart swell with endless amounts of joy. He had what he wanted at his fingertips.

He was gonna learn everything about you and all he needed to do was a click a few tabs. It may seem strange with his sudden infatuation with someone he just met, but he couldn’t help it. It was like a breath of fresh air watching you take timid steps through that door. Your honey like voice sounding like music to his ears and he wanted to keep that tune on repeat forever.

He wanted you forever.

When he fully closed out the tabs he raked his mind for possible positions he could place you in. The front desk was too far away and your intelligence would simply be wasted. When the thought of you being right by side crossed his mind there was no going back. The decision was already set in stone with or without your say so.

"I'll see you tomorrow my darling." He spoke in a gravelly voice. A sinister smile grazing his face at thought of you finally being his. This time his plans won’t fail, you’re not gonna end up like the last one. You are far superior then all of the others combined.

This time you were not gonna get away.

                                   —————

You didn’t like the unpleasant feeling that was flowing through your veins. The way his eyes went from kind and caring to stone hard within a snap of a finger gave you chills. He was determined to get the truth out of you and you gave into the pressure and completely caved. The air in that room felt suffocating and when you finally reached the step out of that office the air had finally came back into your lifeless like body. You scurried down the hall as fast as your heel clad feet could carry you.

You rushed to your cubicle as you placed yourself within its confinements. Genuine worrying filling you up once more as you thought back the encounters. His longing stares that stayed on you a bit too long to his hands that somehow kept brushing up against yours. The feeling felt foreign, strange and unwanted. The way his mood would swing from left to right left you drowning in concern.

The right thing was to just stay in your department and keep you distance. Somehow you still doubt he'll let you off that easy, but god you wish he would. You should never have said you’d come by to talk about the other job opportunities.

"Hey it's time to lock up." Lori shook your shoulders lightly pulling you away from your terror like thoughts. Her soft smile providing a little reassurance as to what just happened. No matter what you still can't shake that feeling that something is gonna go wrong. Usually your gut feelings are right, but this time you wish it was just an upset stomach. 

"Oh yeah I'll meet you at the car I just gotta use the bathroom."

"Okay don't be too slow I want to stop and get something to eat." She yelled as she got further down the hallway. Until all that was seen was the shadow she casted on the dimly lit hallway.

The familiar ding of your phone flashed the notification that your file was added to the database. They let everyone know when they were added due to the fact that employees had a right to know when their information was uploaded on any sort of database. This also came with the perks that everyone was update when their profile was being viewed.

Oh god, that same feeling of dread overtook your body like a tsunami.

He had viewed it. Probably from top to bottom, taking in as much information as his eyes would allow. He has accessed your phone number, you education and your fucking address. Everything was now at his grimy fingertips. Maybe this was gonna be a lot more dangerous then you thought. You tried to play if off as fluke, as him seeing you for the first time and was just wondering around it. The whole air of the situation felt sinister and you just couldn't stop it.

Your eyes darted left to right in a panic making sure he wasn't lurking behind the curve of the halls. Your heart was beating too loud for you to hear properly. Those cool, metal keys were clutched between your fingers as you took shaky steps down too the parking garage. Without falling you didn't waste time to yank open Lori's car door.

"Wow honey, looks like you've seen a ghost.you must’ve peed quickly." Lori snickered as she held out her hands for the keys and then she began to pull the car out of park. Her eyes trained on the numerous vehicles behind her car.

"Oh me? Yeah I'm...fine. Turns out I didn’t have to.” You said, taking a shaky breath. Your fingers quickly pressed the lock located on the right side of the door. The paranoia jumping out in your obvious actions. “Would if he weird to the main boss to view your profile?”

You saw her eyebrows go up as she pondered on the thought. Her acrylics tapping away at the wheel. “Well it all depends. If you’re talking about today then it’s probably fine, because keep in mind you just joined a few weeks ago. So don’t worry about it.”

You felt you shoulders lose the tension inside them. The shaky breaths that you were making you light headed finally were under control. A small smile grazed your face as you rubbed you temples. A gracious thank you passed through you lips when you got out of Lori’s car. An overwhelming feeling of security lingered on your body when the latch on the door was finally hooked.

You’re finally away from that place, you’re finally away from him. No need to watch over you shoulder to hide from his presence, no need to wonder if he’s lurking behind a corner.

The clothes that were restricted against you body felt like heaven coming off. Your bare skin was loving the feeling of cool breeze against it. You couldn’t wait for the scorching hot water to bless you skin once more.

“Hello?” You questioned, uncertainty laced throughout the word. Your eyebrows rose in confusion when the caller gave a heavy cough on the other line. You gave a shaky breathe as you tried to recollected yourself. “Mr.Jeon?”

“Oh! Yeah I’m sorry, but I was just calling to see when you wanted to schedule that meeting of sorts?” He questioned, his voice seemed like it was caught in his throat. Like he was all chocked up. “Are you busy right now?”

“Sorta, maybe it would be best if we called back later and try to arrange something?” You spoke. You were desperately trying to get out of this call as quickly as humanly possible.

“Yeah, I hope you have a good night, y/n.”

You didn’t even bother with a response as you quickly clicked the red button on the bottom of the screen. The damn phone number section had to be required on that stupid form. Right now you’re wishing you could just drop the job all together. Bills don’t pay themselves though.

You wish the hot water would wash all your worries away. That when you stepped foot outside the tub that everything would go back to normal, but that stuff seems to only happen in the movies. You hair was standing up on the back of you neck, and you just wanted these foolish feelings to evaporate with the steam that was clouding your body.

When you finally stepped out the shower you were quick to wrap the green towel around you vulnerable body. When you back was turned towards small window you couldn’t held the feelings that overtook your body.

“Stop acting like a fucking coward.” You grumbled to yourself as you slid a shirt over you sticky, wet shoulders. “Everything is gonna be fine.”

No matter how many times you repeated that phrase to yourself that night, your mind still raced with endless amount of possibilities.

Maybe this wasn’t gonna fine, maybe this was the start of something more sinister and dangerous then anyone could have imagined.

And maybe your mind was right.

[neoistic]

what's going on with STAYs?

the hyunjin (and woojin) situation - a (very long) rant

DISCLAIMER : This post was not meant to slander Hwang Hyunjin or Stray Kids, it is intended to educate others on their problematic behaviour.

I'm gonna start at the beginning of all this. So unless you a.) live under a rock or b.) unlike the rest of us you have a life, then you have possibly heard of the idol bullying scandals. If you dont know what that is, I'll give a brief summary. A bunch of idols were being accused by former middle school or high school classmates of bullying. It started with Soojin of (G)I-dle and then the whole thing started rippling. Aisha of Everglow, Kihyun of MonstaX, Mingyu of SEVENTEEN, and many more. It's even gone as far as SA allegations. Basically everyone and their mothers were being dragged into the mess. However some of these accusation were later to be proven as false. Others have been somewhat half-true. The point is the majority of these idols end up going on a hiatus and stopped contributing in their groups activities for a while. It was a very frustrating situation. There's been apologies, addresses, fights occurring left and right. While these idols were being accused, everybody was like "let's wait for the official statement from the comany and see what is up, and then we make our decision from there. So for now lets stay our best to be neutral". That was the norm for a majority of fandoms. And then there were STAYs.

_____________________________________________________________ I think we've learned in the last five months that STAYs are anything but a normal fandom. After what has happened and the way they chose to behave entirely was embarassing. I feel like toxic STAYs really ruined the name of this fandom when the Woojin situation happened. But after Hyunjin was accused of bullying, they pretty much just shredded any redeeming qualities that fandom had left—all of it—everything went down the drain. Soon enough I feel like people are going to be embarassed to become a STAY or to mention that they're a STAY, because those motherfuckers really screwed this up If some of you're really confused right now, as to why I called STAYs toxic. It's because the base of this fandom is pretty privilege. Ok, let's start with the definition. What is pretty privilege? Pretty privilege is the principle that people who are deemed more attractive (based on societal beauty standards) have an upper hand in the world and are afforded many opportunities that us regular folks don't have. Like most other biases, pretty privilege is something we're all aware of—whether we have experienced it first-hand or not. Yet, it's not often that we are willing to admit or even talk about it, especially if we're on the receiving end of its benefits. This bias, also known as lookism, is defined as “Prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person's appearance” and occurs in a variety of settings such as social environments, workplaces and especially in this godforsaken fandom. Let me explain; everything that they do for the boys is simply based on looks. And how do i know that? Because when the baseless accusations that targeted woojin came out one of the things that i kept hearing over and over again was that they always thought he was 'ugly'. And that to me is very intersting because this fandom found him ugly but they didn't say anything, because he was in the same group as their faves. So they kept their mouths shut, and they acted as if they loved him they told him all the sappy bullshit. When he left they decided to pull an "Okay let's tell him how much we miss him, then dump it, and leave it there."

Consequently by cause of his so called 'wrongdoings' you're now telling people "Oh I found him ugly all along, but now I can finally admit it" which is an incredibly pathetic move. They were throwing shit everywhere based off unsubstantiated allegations. Through this I realised that everything goes down to looks. Because when this exact same thing happened to Hyunjin and his accusations, which at the time we did not know the legitimacy of it, the first thing they chose to tweet was"uhmm hyunjin is too cute to be a bully," say what now? You wanted to tell me you decide whether someone is capable of bullying based on their looks, how is that supposed work. Not everybody's heart is as beautiful as their face, I'm just saying. Like why on earth would you think that Hyunjin isn't a bully based on the fact that he's handsome but you believe the accusation about Woojin based off the fact that he is quote 'ugly'. You see the parallel difference between their behaviour towards them and that's because all they care about is looks and they will do just about anything to garner the attention of these boys. Yes, you're right, the reason behind their doings is because they know pefectly well that Stray Kids read their comment. Their defending them because they are desperately wanting their faves to pay attention to them. And they think by letting Hyunjin get away with everything, he would thank them for it.

_____________________________________________________________

Exhibit B; When the posts against Woojin came out the very first thing they told us was that, you have to believe the victim no matter what. It got to the point where even when we tried to reason with them about how there was no solid evidence, all they said was how they would rather believe a possible liar then a possible r4pist. ikr, oh. my. gosh. However when it's Hyunjin's turn to get blamed, believing the victim doesn't matter anymore. The actuality that people were already putting a judgement on the victim, and refusing to hear them out is just shocking to me.

The energy was completely different, for some crazy reason it didn't matter when it came to Hyunjin. When it came to Woojin we had to believe the victim because it's so damn important, and it got to the point that people were saying they believed Stray Kids that he 'bullied' them. Although Stray Kids didn't say anything, they never said a peep, a word, nothing. Everyone kept saying I believe Felix saying #8, i believe Chan and his vlive, are you for real? First of all what is Felix supposed to say then?? The group has 8 members not nine, is he supposed to put #9 in? #13? #24?? And with Chan he has already clarified that his statement on vlive that time wasn't about Woojin.

Then they were diagnosing them them of depression they were victimizing the poor boys of something they were not a victim of. So not are they speaking for them, they're telling us that you believe them off what you've stuff in their mouths, not things they said themsleves. On the other hand when Hyunjin was accused of bullying no we don't believe them we believe Hyunjin. What? Do you know him personally or what? You dont! I don't know what's the matter with you people. This fandom is just a no. You guys are left with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Then you know what it gets even worse because if you think this is bad. It's not even half of it. How does it get worse? They were people saying that "It's bullying, its normal everybody does it," I don't know what universe you live in, but where I live down here, on earth bullying isn't something that everybody comes around and do. It's not a phase in life. "From ages 15-20 you're a bully" That doesn't happen it's not a chapter in life that everyone goes through like puberty, that's not what happens with bullying. You dont just wake up and go through a phase in you life that is inevitable, that you have to be a bully and a jerk to everybody, that's not a thing. You can't just sit here and justify bullying. Because how are you supposed to sit here and say that bullying is normal and that everybody does but when Woojin does it... You see where I'm going with this right? They said it wasn't okay for Woojin to bully Stray Kids and that he is a horrible person "how could he?" But then you bend over and said "Bullying is okay because Hyunjin is the one doing it" When he is on the receiving end it wasn't okay, though when he was the one administering it was completely fine and forgivable.

Do you not see how problematic you're being right now? You're justifying bullying because you think he's pretty? Are you playing with me? I read his statement and he apologized for his immature and insensitive demeanor, even he wasn't justifying it. the reason behind me mentioning this is because even JYP themselves specified that they would do a better job at picking trainees. That alone says something. They forthrightly threw him under the bus. Why would they do something like that? Because the allegations were true. Here's the thing, Hyunjin has not admitted to bullying anybody, what he has admitted to was being immature and hurting people with the way he spoke. That statement felt like he was beating around the bush about a lot of things. It's like "ok i hurt someone, I can't justify it, therefore I'm sorry" Okay but did u bully anybody? yes or no? That wasn't clarified. You guys can decide for your selves, but this was Hyunjin's and his former teacher's statement.

_____________________________________________________________

The message I'm trying to get accross from all this is that Stray Kids have way more power over you than you realized, and that is definitely not okay. To the point where you are throwing your morals away, just to defend them. You know what? no idol should have influence over you like that. I don't care how good looking, how hot, how sweet, how talented they are. I don't care if they grew up with a single mother and a story so sad it will make Simon Cowell cry. I don't care how many time they have supported the lgbtq+ community. I don't give a damn about how adorable they act on camera with their members. You can not validate immoral actions whatsoever. And no, you absolutely can not sit here being a desperate, self-absorbed, pick-me, dusty girl for a man who doesn't even know you.

Exhibit C; Before we end this I want to clarify something. STAYs did not became toxic because of the Woojin fiasco, this fandom always was toxic, and the Woojin situation simply revealed that. The facts are that they were always toxic, they were always messed up, they were always fake. The wreckage with Woojin showed us their true colors. That is the reality, my friends. As of now this fandom is directly taking the crown for trashiest fandom alive in kpop. At this degree I honestly don't know what else to say. I have no respect left for them. I do though want to say that I am genuinely sorry to all the kind STAYs, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. Because in the near future I don't see this issue going away. Since Stray Kids is becoming more and more popular and it's never going to stop they're going to keep getting bigger and bigger, the story will just become more aparent. Thank you for listening to my long rant. And at the end of the day all I can say to STAYs is good luck, cause you'll need it.

_____________________________________________________________

anywho stream Still Dream

Sources:

https://www.myimperfectlife.com/features/pretty-privilege

https://www.koreaboo.com/series/stray-kids-hyunjin-bullying-allegation/

[chaotickidcat]

true...but what if your such white fucking trash garbage and do not deserve her? And that you know that your such a piece of shit and no one deserves you or the BS. So how can somebody love a piece of shit not worth anything but shit 24/7. Would love to change and that for a while now. I stopped coke and porn and would love to fully stop drinking and smoking but I simply can't I need help and willing to accept help since i really would love to change and make her happy she deserves to be happy every minute of the day. And even if the whole fucking Internet hates me I acctually do not give a shit about your diss Orgy here. I Love her...and I really do ! Ok true Boobs are negotiable and if you realy love your wife you woulden't want her to run around with 2160cc.. but I admid I love big tits the bigger the better. I do not understand the problem here and that the WWW is trying to make me feel guilty. I see it this way I respect everybody's sexual Orientation if Gay Trans what so ever! You can have your little 19 years old boyfirend with 65 who cares...! (not ok with pedos though) you can have objectophilia and love the Busstation or your favorite tree or your VIBE. I think if I can bring up the respect and the tolerance so can you and I do not think it's asked to much if you expect something from me to at least give the same in return. I admid I love her breast... there are countless Men out there who dream of having such a wife. I NEVER FORCED her to do this NEVER ! I said I cold live with it and also without since we got a TON of PORNStars out there in the WEB. No my wife said she is not happy that I watch porn sometimes and I admid the truth the whole coke was messing this up big time aswell..true. I asked her since several weeks if she really wants to spend that cash on the tits. I said lets do your USA trip instead and if you feel like doing your boobs we can see Dr Revis and than still have more than 1/2 of the cash we spend on Dr Plovier. My wife was telling me she had pain in hr right breast so an OP was acctually inevitable. I asked her if she would like to reduce her breast instead..she said no. She even insisted and said I love em and I am used to them it would feel like she would miss something. So we decided together so see Dr Plovier since he is europes leading expert in this field of expertise. She decided to go and even came up with nearly 18.000 euros we spend on that trip and I have my doubts where the money came from. Now I acctually even refused going and said we should not do that its too much money. I love you with or with out tits and I really do. Some dreams shoud simply stay dreams. I even refused to go with her to Belgium and said let's not do it and if you still want to go on your own than take your friend mdm Garcia with you fo rtranslating. I even offerd her to take care of all her expenses if she would go. This totally broke out into a serious discussion. I said I prefer you to stay the way you are now than having all the men in this World trying to take you from me. I do not wanted to loose her. Though I admid I said... since your always complaining about housework and me gaming she would have the perfect Arguments do anything she asked me for and I mean who the fuck would want to play  Sony Playstation or WOW if she says .. hunney please could you ..Hell I would and I would run. Yes. So now after the Surgery. I asked her everyday like at least several hundred times if she is ok if she can handle it because if not we are still in Belgium and he can do them smaller. I seriously did evryday. I said we can call the Surgens office and simply decrese the volume since that is perfectly do able with expanders thats what they are made for. If too big you can simply decrese volume within in minutes with no further surgery. She denied the whole week. and she really did not want to. I admid I feelt a bit guilty but I was also totally hyped by her breasts and let my self a bit go on Twitter but I asked her if she is ok with it she said yes. And well She got me there with you guys for the 1k likes eventhough that no number compared to pine subs and Likes and views. I married her at the time in a real bad situation it was raining ... really pooring shit down on us from her ex for nearly 6 years. The Kids have been traumatised and that far far more that what ever you guy's say I did. I mean there father pushed it so far that they had to go into Childcustody and that was not because of me! I was not parrent yet ... I was simply ..voila... there you go now handle it! I had no fucking clue about parenting at the time and tryed to help and that made things even worse. But when ever I had to take the fall for her due to her Ex italien boyfriend (and boy! they can be far more exhausting than any White trash Daddy on this planet AMEN.) The Kids are not easy aswell and every week for over years.. seriously years I had to start over bulding up the relationship to them. Again and again and again...rinse and repeat and I did. Usually you grow into parenting and you're usually not just getting haveing 4 Kids and everything instantly but I love her and said I do my best and try hard. That's all I was able to do . I really meant it in a good way and wanted to help her since 4 Kids for singel mother is very though to handle.     Now my wife wished for Persephone another child it was the deepest wish from her heart...so I gave in to do the artificial fertilization procedure several times aswell. No husband who loves his wife woud say no to her biggest wish from her heart. Right?! So now I was really excited and also shit scared and paniced a couple of times..true. But I was at one point not able to cope with the whole situation anymore. Now... when I moved in with her I stopped coke at the time coz of her kids..thats true..but it's stilla major brainfuck sometimes if this little voice inside of you talks to you. So I did not even know anybody to get it from in the new town  I moved in with her . I swear its the truth since I really wanted to help her and really loved her and if I have to climb down the biggest Swiss Mountain in Town for her.. I would do it and litterally did it... and I would do it again. Anytime. So now the Mountain I am facing at the moment is bigger than anything else I had to handle before and I will take time... I am incapeable to change over night eventhough I wished I could. My depressions and my my constant fear to loose her just is totally messed up and emotionally its a hard fight with myself. Love is worse than drugs sometimes I makes you do things you probably would never do otherwise. And due to my emotional disorder (hey everbody got his handycap at one point so dont give me shit for that please. I was born with this disorder I did not choose to have it. Now I am not really sure if I should thank the Internet for this wake up call or give in into my depressions again. I am not sure yet I will have to sleep over it. So now since she removed the Implants and you have Posted the Photos... Now I would like to know one last thing?! If she already had a new Boyfriend and he moved in with her since a couple of month and lives with her.. than why the hell did she do the augmentation and She new exactly what she was doing. She could have said no. She could have at any given time tell the nurses or Dr Plovier that she would only like to minimal increase of even dercease since she was complaining about pain in her chest. Now the pain in her chest did not come from the implants themselfs... DR Plovier told me we where lucky to come and see him since if it would have gotten worse she would have lost her breast and this is due to cheap surgery done in Serbia. And hell believe me ... I was totally not ok with serbia since she wanted to do the T cut and that would def. made her unhappy in long term: I mean its about beeing well and feeling better and butcher her Breast in a Warzone Sugery room form the beginning 80's. SHe wanted and insisted to do it since it was affordable and her friend Dijana was with that surgeon aswell. She really insited to do it with me or without me. That's the response I got from her at the time. I really want to set things straight here .. I have never forced anything... it was her desicion and she wanted to do it and even got this hughe amount of money for it. Me and my hardcore Alcoholic Prof. friend both told her... to do the USA trip instead she always wished for and we take the kids along and stay a couple of weeks. It would fullfill her 2nd biggest dream after Persephone. So as I mentioned before... i would never say no to her dreams and always support them. Since you shoud live your dreams right?! Both the Prof and her argued that ist not possible with covid to travel through the US and my wife wanted to go to Belgium. I repeat never ever forced anything or her to do anything she is not ok with. I am a piece of shit yes and do not deserve her yes but eventhough I got Limits. Very hard for you guys to undderstand that now and to believe but it's the truth. So now... since the Situation is clear and she already lives with her new boyfriend since month and left me piece of scumbag Whitetrash and with your Super Internet pintree fiasco Shitstorm or let's call it Whitetrashstorm and..though yes I appreciate your help and the fucking wake up call bell you guys just simply smashed down on my head.. which I agree I totally deserve... But since this country is smaller than and has less Citizens than ANY of your Pinetree accounts you so surepass the 8million views and I am Nationwide Nr 2 BIGGEST LOOSER WHITETRASH Example exisiting now besides the Ideot who did the Swiss Porn Snychornisation... I will not find a Job that easy anymore. So since chris clun did brillant work... a bit exagurated at times but it's still funny and yes ..I really translated all the 1600 videos.. I really did. So now the whole World tells me to move my ass..I can not afford going back to IT school eventhough I would really want to graduate and I know that I am capable to do it .. I came untill the Finalexam but did not have the required apprenticeship in an IT comapany and therefore got got accepted with turned out me bing drunk and fucking shit up even worse  and even if my Mother said I have Math problems ..(which I acctually do not but simply didn't give a shit in Highschool about Calculus Class) am missing the cash and I will not be able to get a Job in that field that easyl but I will take my chances and try best since I have to come up with child support now and will face a Divorce... So now hear me cry... LOUD! I lost my CHILD (this hurts me very badly and giving birth to a 5 child to grow up with out Father was my greates fear ..Since I really did not have an trational Dad aswell..teaching you how to drill or see you play at a golf tournament. Or give me the needed drill..and holy shit yes.. he maybe should have kicked my lazzy ass HARDER !!! But unfortuneatly I had no opputunity and not the Luck and yes fucked up childhood. My father was working to provide my Mother the most Luxury lifestyle ever ! My Mother lived a Life back in the day shoud would have been most famous Instagram HIgh socity lady exisiting and it was easyier so send me to bording school with emotinal disorder in an Bording School and the only currency  in that Private School at that time was cocain and bitches.(Danke Ari das Du mich mit diesem scheiss Zeug angesteckt hast) The ritch Russian guy's where the only Opportunity to tripple my pocket money at the time wich was moderate but not exaggurated. I mean 100 bucks Week in Switzerland is like nothing. I could barely pay my Cigarrets with this money but no chance for out of plan Socialactivity like spending time with School friends in a Pub if I could not afford my Pepsi. Furhtermoe I would like to mention that I never drunk Alcohol not even wine or beer or whats so ever untill my 30th Brithday. My parents know that ! It all started with my Prof totally loosing it with his wife at the time and bascially lived with me for nearly 1 year, he simplay always was around. And he startet to drink exessively and since I concidered him my best friend at the time.. I played along to not let my only bro down. So now this drinking smoking and coking up to help him since he was a total wrack at the time.. useless unable to work things even got worse not able sitt straigh beeing so brainfucked by his Wife.. it was simply overkill for him. Now the drinking becaume somehow slightly and unknowingly a habit..it kind of sneaked in our lives without us even really realising and that's really bad because its not easy to to quit an habit once it's becamme a comman standard. I alwys feelt guilty for him to be honest and last Week when he came over for a visit he was drunk with in 15min I mean totally not even able to hold an conversation and man ..thats so sad. You did not see your friend for a while and are not able to talk with him its like instant drunk and usually he hurst himself in that state or passed out in the wild some where and that hurts me. Really it does. I seriously do not drink if he comes for a visit to be prepaired for the wort csae scenario. My Wife knows that.   I lost my family !!! I lost the Love of my Life !!! and I Lost my dignety and my life in Switzerland. I lost all my friends!!! I am Isolated due to beeing a piece of shit !!! Eventhough... I still resisted to take any drugs today since I kinda feelt shit is coming GREAT AGAIN. And my Fear of loosing her and my familiy made me really jealouse and jealousy... drives me sheer mad...insane. It's the most difficult Emotion for me to handle and the more I tried so set things in the right way again and fought for her Love the more it seperated us. And I am not able to handle this like apperently the wohle fucking World can and is soo easy .. but for me ..it is not. It's the hardest thing ever since that's what triggers my Voice telling me do return to old bad habits. It is a vicious cicle and is the most powerfull Deamon inside of me to fight with. NOW .. THE WHOLE FUCKING WEB tells me to move my bloody whitetrash ass and...just do it... But with the Divorce and the emotional stress coming with it.. again is the perfect condition again to drop back into old habits. It's very hard to break this Cicle and will be extremly challenging and will have serious side effects but who cares I am totally fucked up a bit more or less will not matter in my condition at the moment...right?! Emotionally I seriously doubt that I can change over or the next couple of weeks. I will though offically promise to do my best and try as hard as I can to work on me and my whitetrashflixmyvista little white Kartoffel boy ass and already made a little progress it's not much but hey..you got to take the first Step and everything starts with the first Step. Now please ...tell me why did my wife do the Surgery if she did not wanted to do it and already lives with a new Boyfriend together since month wihtou me knowing, We could have spared us the money and all the emotinal bullshit and this Shitstorm. all the lies and all furious outbreaks beeing scared to loose her... since hope dies last right? Maybe the situation would not be that fucked up as it is now. And my child growing up with a different dad.. I wish her and my child and her familie all the best and really hope that she finally get a good man who is capable of what i am sheer uncapable. My Exwife deserves it. The only thing I ASK TO YOU ALL... are 2 things... 1) Please tell my daughter that her Father really loves her and it's not her fault. And that I am very very sorry form the deepest bottom of my heart. I will never be able to make this up to her so please give my wife an helping hand and my Child. and 2) Guy's  I know I have to change myself and work hard on me and I know nobody can do this for me...but eventhough the WHOLE WEB hates me knwo and I am branded as Whitetrashdaddy world wide NR 1 (which is accutally quite a title compared to couple of rednecks and Hillbillys out there) I would appreciate a little help here. Yes flame me destroy my Life even more than I did untill now... But I really want to change but I could use a helping hand here...and hey no matter my mistaked and how hard they are... even me the biggest European Whitetrash Kartoffel piece of shit dirtbag...deserves a 2nd chance to set things straight and to be able to pay my child support. She at least ... deserves it. Now I am very sorry and I am very touched and hey thank you for the wakeup call..extrem people need extrem measures right. I hope that at least partially all of you in the WEB and my Exwife can forgive me.. I never had bad intensions towards her or any of you. For those you can not forgive me...fuck you !!! 2160xtimes !!! Do your meams... and do what you got to do and flood the net with my pathetic letter here. Do what you got to do...I deserve it and will take it like a man. But please be moderate and keep my disorder in your thoughts...please do not push it that far that I will do something incredible stupid. My child deserves a Father eventhough if I am shit and incapeble at the moment. I keep faith in that one day I will be able to be a good Father for her. Now thank you all for your time reading this. And hey I've ever somebody is willing to writ a book about how Hardcore Swiss Pirvate Bording Schools have been thoughtout the 90's..let me know I got stroy's to tell better than any Hollywood movie. The crazziest shit always happens in real life any maybe it's good warning for Parents to rethink and not do the same mistakes my Parents did. Thank you.

[killerqueenmachine]

Ayyy congrats on 300! You are so talented! I have a request for something with Brian when he falls ill and you're there when he collapses after the show and you're super worried and upset and take care of him. You about how scary it was because you thought you were gonna lose him and he comforts you. All of these posts flying around about when he got sick got me all in my angsty/fluffy feelings! Thanks so much and congrats again!

Note: Thank you so much for requesting it means a lot! I did a LOT of background work with checking facts, including actual knowledge on Hepatitis (both B and C, since I’m not quite sure what kind Brian actually had) and history and everything on this so I really hope I didn’t mess something up along the way.

You had to admit it. He had been acting and looking a little strange for some time now. It started out with just an innocent loss of appetite - you didn’t think much of it at first, it was their first trip to America after all and your poor boyfriend must’ve been nervous. The loss of appetite turned to nausea and then he started complaining about being sore and tired all the time. Lately, it almost looked like his skin and even the white in his eyes had turned slightly yellow but every time you asked him if he was okay, he had puffed up his chest and assured you that nothing was wrong. And like a damn idiot, you had believed him.

“Bri.. Are you sure you should do this? You look really sick” you almost pleaded your boyfriend to stay away from the stage.

“I’m fine, baby. I’m just a little nervous” he assured you, gently squeezing your shoulder.

“You don’t look fine, Brian. You look really really sick and I’m fucking worried about you. Please don’t go on that stage” Mentally you were on your knees begging for him to just listen to you and go to the doctor. But you were in America - and the doctors over here were deadly expensive and none of you had any money.

“I’m fine, please. There’s no need to worry - and I have to be on stage in a few minutes.. Please just relax” His voice sounded strange too. Almost like he didn’t truly believe his own words. He bent down and placed a soft kiss to your lips - it felt like he didn’t actually have the power to kiss you any harder. Something was wrong and you knew it.

He went on stage and played the show - almost. He looked like a shell of a man, yet none of the other bandmembers had actually seemed to notice. Finally, the show was over and the stumbled off stage and to the backstage area where you were waiting for them alongside Veronica and Mary.

Brian handed his precious guitar to a Roadie and as he took his first step towards you his knees bucked, and he collapsed on to the ground with a strained grunt. He almost looked dead. Like a lifeless doll that had been thrown from high above, his legs were bend and almost underneath him. He was laying on his stomach with his arms underneath his chest, as if he had tried to break the fall and his head was turned to the side, but his face was covered by his big fluffy curls.

“BRIAN!” you screamed in a way that made your voice crack and attract the attention of everyone around you.

You ran over and threw yourself on your knees next to him, quickly grabbing his head. He seemed slightly awake, yet he didn’t respond to anything.

“Brian, please” you started to sob as you shook his head lightly. He didn’t respond. He didn’t even open his eyes.

“We have to do something!” you heard Roger say, quickly commanding a few people around in an effort to actually get something productive done.

“Wake up, please” you wept into Brian’s hair before you felt a pair of hands on your shoulder.

“Hey.. We have to get him up from the ground” One of their crew members were talking and you didn’t want to hear a word about it. But he was probably right. You let go of Brian’s head, knowing that you weren’t strong enough to pull him up.

A few of the men around you got him up from the floor and that seemed to wake him up a little, but not as much as you had wanted.

After a few moments of talking back and forth you figured out that you had to have him flown back to London right away and get him to a doctor. You simply couldn’t afford any medical treatment here. In your opinion the flight back to London was too long and you were so worried about him you could barely stop crying even though the other guys - and girls, for that matter - tried their hardest to calm you down. Nothing really seemed to work - what if you lost him?

You finally got him into a hospital, and it didn’t take the doctors long to find out that Brian had gotten hepatitis and it seemed to be a miracle that he had been going on for so long before he finally collapsed.

Now here you were in a hospital room with your boyfriend asleep in a small hospital bed. The yellow colour was starting to subside, making him look a little more human. At this point you knew he was going to be fine and the doctors had assured you that it wouldn’t turn into a chronic disease and even with all these seemingly calming words you couldn’t stop crying. The mere thought of losing Brian had scared you so bad you felt like you were still in some state of chock.

You were sitting in a chair next to his bed, mindlessly flipping through magazines and newspapers but not really reading anything. You threw the paper back on the table and gently caressed Brian’s hand before slightly grabbing onto it and squeezing it. Your eyes were still swollen and red from all the crying and every time you thought about how much you had already cried - you started to cry a little more. So here you were, alone with your sick and sleeping boyfriend, holding his hand and silently crying while just watching him and waiting for him to wake up.

You felt a little rustle from the bed and soft sounds started to emerge from Brian’s mouth.

“Are you waking up, baby?” you softly asked, gently pushing his unruly curls out of his face. Your voice was horribly raw and strained from all the crying.

“Mm..”

That was the first almost-word he had spoken in almost a whole day.

“I was so scared” your voice was shaking at this point, which seemed to make Brian wake up a little quicker.

“Hey.. Hey.. Baby are you okay?” he asked, impressively enough his voice almost sounded smooth as ever, though a little rough from the sleeping.

You couldn’t help but smile a little. This huge dork just had a near-death experience and he had the audacity to ask you if you were okay.

“I’m scared Brian. Terrified out of my actual mind that I might lose you.” You confessed, rising from your chair and gently pushing Brian’s legs to the side so you could sit down in the bed with him.

“I’m not going anywhere baby, you know that” he tried to joke but you could spot the fear in his eyes too.

“You almost were going somewhere. First the gangrene almost costing you your arm and now hepatitis? Not only are you going to be the death of yourself - you’re going to be the death of me too!” you almost scolded.

He squeezed your hand a little tighter and pulled you down, so he could kiss you.

“I’m so sorry baby. I’m not doing it on purpose, I promise” he whispered against your mouth.

“I know.. I know. Just promise me you’ll go to the doctor the next time you start feeling ill?” your tone of voice was pleading.

He nodded silently and gave you another kiss.

“Thank you.. I couldn’t.. I don’t want to live without you Brian so you’re going to have to promise me that you won’t clock out early on me”

He chuckled a little, but it was very clear to you that he understood the seriousness of the situation.

“I love you so much” you whispered against his lips before kissing him softly.

“I love you too - thank you for taking care of me” he replied and kissed you back.

“No more sickness now, okay?”

“Okay!”

But little did he know that only a few months later you’d be back again and this time you nearly lost him - nearly.

[chaotickidcat]

True… but what if your such white fucking trash garbage and do not deserve her? And that you know that your such a piece of shit and no one deserves you or the BS. So how can somebody love a piece of shit not worth anything but shit 24/7. Would love to change and that for a while now. I stopped coke and porn and would love to fully stop drinking and smoking but I simply can't I need help and willing to accept help since i really would love to change and make her happy she deserves to be happy every minute of the day. And even if the whole fucking Internet hates me I acctually do not give a shit about your diss Orgy here. I Love her...and I really do ! Ok true Boobs are negotiable and if you realy love your wife you woulden't want her to run around with 2160cc.. but I admid I love big tits the bigger the better. I do not understand the problem here and that the WWW is trying to make me feel guilty. I see it this way I respect everybody's sexual Orientation if Gay Trans what so ever! You can have your little 19 years old boyfirend with 65 who cares...! (not ok with pedos though) you can have objectophilia and love the Busstation or your favorite tree or your VIBE. I think if I can bring up the respect and the tolerance so can you and I do not think it's asked to much if you expect something from me to at least give the same in return. I admid I love her breast... there are countless Men out there who dream of having such a wife. I NEVER FORCED her to do this NEVER ! I said I cold live with it and also without since we got a TON of PORNStars out there in the WEB. No my wife said she is not happy that I watch porn sometimes and I admid the truth the whole coke was messing this up big time aswell..true. I asked her since several weeks if she really wants to spend that cash on the tits. I said lets do your USA trip instead and if you feel like doing your boobs we can see Dr Revis and than still have more than 1/2 of the cash we spend on Dr Plovier. My wife was telling me she had pain in hr right breast so an OP was acctually inevitable. I asked her if she would like to reduce her breast instead..she said no. She even insisted and said I love em and I am used to them it would feel like she would miss something. So we decided together so see Dr Plovier since he is europes leading expert in this field of expertise. She decided to go and even came up with nearly 18.000 euros we spend on that trip and I have my doubts where the money came from. Now I acctually even refused going and said we should not do that its too much money. I love you with or with out tits and I really do. Some dreams shoud simply stay dreams. I even refused to go with her to Belgium and said let's not do it and if you still want to go on your own than take your friend mdm Garcia with you fo rtranslating. I even offerd her to take care of all her expenses if she would go. This totally broke out into a serious discussion. I said I prefer you to stay the way you are now than having all the men in this World trying to take you from me. I do not wanted to loose her. Though I admid I said... since your always complaining about housework and me gaming she would have the perfect Arguments do anything she asked me for and I mean who the fuck would want to play  Sony Playstation or WOW if she says .. hunney please could you ..Hell I would and I would run. Yes. So now after the Surgery. I asked her everyday like at least several hundred times if she is ok if she can handle it because if not we are still in Belgium and he can do them smaller. I seriously did everyday. I said we can Call the Surgens Office and simply decrese the volume since that is perfectly able to do with expanders thats what they are made for. If too big you can simply decrese volume within in minutes with no further surgery. She denied the whole week. and she really did not want to. I admid I feelt a bit guilty but I was also totally hyped by her breasts and let my self a bit go on Twitter but I asked her if she is ok with it she said yes. And well She got me there with you guys for the 1k likes eventhough that no number compared to pine subs and Likes and views. I married her at the time in a real bad situation it was raining ... really pooring shit down on us from her ex for nearly 6 years. The Kids have been traumatised and that far far more that what ever you guy's say I did. I mean there father pushed it so far that they had to go into Childcustody and that was not because of me! I was not parrent yet ... I was simply ..voila... there you go now handle it! I had no fucking clue about parenting at the time and tryed to help and that made things even worse. But when ever I had to take the fall for her due to her Ex italien boyfriend (and boy! they can be far more exhausting than any White trash Daddy on this planet AMEN.) The Kids are not easy aswell and every week for over years.. seriously years I had to start over bulding up the relationship to them. Again and again and again...rinse and repeat and I did. Usually you grow into parenting and you're usually not just getting haveing 4 Kids and everything instantly but I love her and said I do my best and try hard. That's all I was able to do . I really meant it in a good way and wanted to help her since 4 Kids for singel mother is very though to handle.     Now my wife wished for Persephone another child it was the deepest wish from her heart...so I gave in to do the artificial fertilization procedure several times aswell. No husband who loves his wife woud say no to her biggest wish from her heart. Right?! So now I was really excited and also shit scared and paniced a couple of times..true. But I was at one point not able to cope with the whole situation anymore. Now... when I moved in with her I stopped coke at the time coz of her kids..thats true..but it's stilla major brainfuck sometimes if this little voice inside of you talks to you. So I did not even know anybody to get it from in the new town  I moved in with her . I swear its the truth since I really wanted to help her and really loved her and if I have to climb down the biggest Swiss Mountain in Town for her.. I would do it and litterally did it... and I would do it again. Anytime. So now the Mountain I am facing at the moment is bigger than anything else I had to handle before and I will take time... I am incapeable to change over night eventhough I wished I could. My depressions and my my constant fear to loose her just is totally messed up and emotionally its a hard fight with myself. Love is worse than drugs sometimes I makes you do things you probably would never do otherwise. And due to my emotional disorder ( hey everbody got his handycap at one point so dont give me shit for that please. I was born with this disorder I did not choose to have it. Now I am not really sure if I should thank the Internet for this wake up call or give in into my depressions again. I am not sure yet I will have to sleep over it. So now since she removed the Implants and you have Posted the Photos... Now I would like to know one last thing?! If she already had a new Boyfriend and he moved in with her since a couple of month and lives with her.. than why the hell did she do the augmentation and She new exactly what she was doing. She could have said no. She could have at any given time tell the nurses or Dr Plovier that she would only like to minimal increase of even dercease since she was complaining about pain in her chest. Now the pain in her chest did not come from the implants themselfs... DR Plovier told me we where lucky to come and see him since if it would have gotten worse she would have lost her breast and this is due to cheap surgery done in Serbia. And hell believe me ... I was totally not ok with serbia since she wanted to do the T cut and that would def. made her unhappy in long term: I mean its about beeing well and feeling better and butcher her Breast in a Warzone Sugery room form the beginning 80's. SHe wanted and insisted to do it since it was affordable and her friend Dijana was with that surgeon aswell. She really insited to do it with me or without me. That's the response I got from her at the time. I really want to set things straight here .. I have never forced anything... it was her desicion and she wanted to do it and even got this hughe amount of money for it. Me and my hardcore Alcoholic Prof. friend both told her... to do the USA trip instead she always wished for and we take the kids along and stay a couple of weeks. It would fullfill her 2nd biggest dream after Persephone. So as I mentioned before... i would never say no to her dreams and always support them. Since you shoud live your dreams right?! Both the Prof and her argued that ist not possible with covid to travel through the US and my wife wanted to go to Belgium. I repeat never ever forced anything or her to do anything she is not ok with. I am a piece of shit yes and do not deserve her yes but eventhough I got Limits. Very hard for you guys to undderstand that now and to believe but it's the truth. So now... since the Situation is clear and she already lives with her new boyfriend since month and left me piece of scumbag Whitetrash and with your Super Internet pintree fiasco Shitstorm or let's call it Whitetrashstorm and..though yes I appreciate your help and the fucking wake up call bell you guys just simply smashed down on my head.. which I agree I totally deserve... But since this country is smaller than and has less Citizens than ANY of your Pinetree accounts you so surepass the 8million views and I am Nationwide Nr 2 BIGGEST LOOSER WHITETRASH Example exisiting now besides the Ideot who did the Swiss Porn Snychornisation... I will not find a Job that easy anymore. So since chris clun did brillant work... a bit exagurated at times but it's still funny and yes ..I really translated all the 1600 videos.. I really did. So now the whole World tells me to move my ass..I can not afford going back to IT school eventhough I would really want to graduate and I know that I am capable to do it .. I came untill the Finalexam but did not have the required apprenticeship in an IT comapany and therefore got got accepted with turned out me bing drunk and fucking shit up even worse  and even if my Mother said I have Math problems ..(which I acctually do not but simply didn't give a shit in Highschool about Calculus Class) am missing the cash and I will not be able to get a Job in that field that easyl but I will take my chances and try best since I have to come up with child support now and will face a Divorce... So now hear me cry... LOUD! I lost my CHILD (this hurts me very badly and giving birth to a 5 child to grow up with out Father was my greates fear ..Since I really did not have an trational Dad aswell..teaching you how to drill or see you play at a golf tournament. Or give me the needed drill..and holy shit yes.. he maybe should have kicked my lazzy ass HARDER !!! But unfortuneatly I had no opputunity and not the Luck and yes fucked up childhood. My father was working to provide my Mother the most Luxury lifestyle ever ! My Mother lived a Life back in the day shoud would have been most famous Instagram HIgh socity lady exisiting and it was easyier so send me to bording school with emotinal disorder in an Bording School and the only currency  in that Private School at that time was cocain and bitches.(Danke Ari das Du mich mit diesem scheiss Zeug angesteckt hast) The ritch Russian guy's where the only Opportunity to tripple my pocket money at the time wich was moderate but not exaggurated. I mean 100 bucks Week in Switzerland is like nothing. I could barely pay my Cigarrets with this money but no chance for out of plan Socialactivity like spending time with School friends in a Pub if I could not afford my Pepsi. Furhtermoe I would like to mention that I never drunk Alcohol not even wine or beer or whats so ever untill my 30th Brithday. My parents know that ! It all started with my Prof totally loosing it with his wife at the time and bascially lived with me for nearly 1 year, he simplay always was around. And he startet to drink exessively and since I concidered him my best friend at the time.. I played along to not let my only bro down. So now this drinking smoking and coking up to help him since he was a total wrack at the time.. useless unable to work things even got worse not able sitt straigh beeing so brainfucked by his Wife.. it was simply overkill for him. Now the drinking becaume somehow slightly and unknowingly a habit..it kind of sneaked in our lives without us even really realising and that's really bad because its not easy to to quit an habit once it's becamme a comman standard. I alwys feelt guilty for him to be honest and last Week when he came over for a visit he was drunk with in 15min I mean totally not even able to hold an conversation and man ..thats so sad. You did not see your friend for a while and are not able to talk with him its like instant drunk and usually he hurst himself in that state or passed out in the wild some where and that hurts me. Really it does. I seriously do not drink if he comes for a visit to be prepaired for the wort csae scenario. My Wife knows that.   I lost my family !!! I lost the Love of my Life !!! and I Lost my dignety and my life in Switzerland. I lost all my friends!!! I am Isolated due to beeing a piece of shit !!! Eventhough... I still resisted to take any drugs today since I kinda feelt shit is coming GREAT AGAIN. And my Fear of loosing her and my familiy made me really jealouse and jealousy... drives me sheer mad...insane. It's the most difficult Emotion for me to handle and the more I tried so set things in the right way again and fought for her Love the more it seperated us. And I am not able to handle this like apperently the wohle fucking World can and is soo easy .. but for me ..it is not. It's the hardest thing ever since that's what triggers my Voice telling me do return to old bad habits. It is a vicious cicle and is the most powerfull Deamon inside of me to fight with. NOW .. THE WHOLE FUCKING WEB tells me to move my bloody whitetrash ass and...just do it... But with the Divorce and the emotional stress coming with it.. again is the perfect condition again to drop back into old habits. It's very hard to break this Cicle and will be extremly challenging and will have serious side effects but who cares I am totally fucked up a bit more or less will not matter in my condition at the moment...right?! Emotionally I seriously doubt that I can change over or the next couple of weeks. I will though offically promise to do my best and try as hard as I can to work on me and my whitetrashflixmyvista little white Kartoffel boy ass and already made a little progress it's not much but hey..you got to take the first Step and everything starts with the first Step. Now please ...tell me why did my wife do the Surgery if she did not wanted to do it and already lives with a new Boyfriend together since month wihtou me knowing, We could have spared us the money and all the emotinal bullshit and this Shitstorm. all the lies and all furious outbreaks beeing scared to loose her... since hope dies last right? Maybe the situation would not be that fucked up as it is now. And my child growing up with a different dad.. I wish her and my child and her familie all the best and really hope that she finally get a good man who is capable of what i am sheer uncapable. My Exwife deserves it. The only thing I ASK TO YOU ALL... are 2 things... 1) Please tell my daughter that her Father really loves her and it's not her fault. And that I am very very sorry form the deepest bottom of my heart. I will never be able to make this up to her so please give my wife an helping hand and my Child. and 2) Guy's  I know I have to change myself and work hard on me and I know nobody can do this for me...but eventhough the WHOLE WEB hates me knwo and I am branded as Whitetrashdaddy world wide NR 1 (which is accutally quite a title compared to couple of rednecks and Hillbillys out there) I would appreciate a little help here. Yes flame me destroy my Life even more than I did untill now... But I really want to change but I could use a helping hand here...and hey no matter my mistaked and how hard they are... even me the biggest European Whitetrash Kartoffel piece of shit dirtbag...deserves a 2nd chance to set things straight and to be able to pay my child support. She at least ... deserves it. Now I am very sorry and I am very touched and hey thank you for the wakeup call..extrem people need extrem measures right. I hope that at least partially all of you in the WEB and my Exwife can forgive me.. I never had bad intensions towards her or any of you. For those you can not forgive me...fuck you !!! 2160xtimes !!! Do your meams... and do what you got to do and flood the net with my pathetic letter here. Do what you got to do...I deserve it and will take it like a man. But please be moderate and keep my disorder in your thoughts...please do not push it that far that I will do something incredible stupid. My child deserves a Father eventhough if I am shit and incapeble at the moment. I keep faith in that one day I will be able to be a good Father for her. Now thank you all for your time reading this. And hey I've ever somebody is willing to writ a book about how Hardcore Swiss Pirvate Bording Schools have been thoughtout the 90's..let me know I got stroy's to tell better than any Hollywood movie. The crazziest shit always happens in real life any maybe it's good warning for Parents to rethink and not do the same mistakes my Parents did. Thank you.