#and jay finds out about the reward money

[aceofshitposts]

anastasia based au that i was playing around with @yeisons a while ago. meant to get this posted sooner but uh my brain is Soup as usual lmao hope you all like it!!!

-

Jay should have known better. Should have known better than to trust Roy and Kori. Trust that he'd found his past and where he belonged. Of course he wasn't the missing Jason Wayne, any resemblance was simply coincidence that Roy and Kori had aimed to exploit for money.

The ballroom is too big, his clothes too tight. He isn't meant to be here at this party, in this manor, attempting to fit into this life. He pushes past the throngs of dancing couple roughly in his sudden bid to escape, mumbling halfhearted apologies as he goes.

He hears Kori call out to him but it doesn't matter. She was part of this too. He needs out.

Now.

His footsteps echo down the empty halls as he walks. No particular destination in mind as he goes, mind too busy trying to formulate another plan.

What, exactly, is he going to do now?

Stupidly, he had pinned all his hopes on this. That when Roy and Kori told him he was surely, definitely, Jason Wayne and that they wanted to help reunite him with his family they were telling the truth. That he was someone who was loved and not just abandoned at the orphanage, unwanted.

The halls are quiet and still here, contrasting sharply with the loud and lively atmosphere of the ballroom. He stops, looking around the long corridor and realizes he has no idea how long he's been walking for or where in the mansion he's ended up.

There's a line of doors spaced neatly apart, all closed with shadows from the outside windows cast against them. It's... familiar, somehow.

Something brushes past in his mind's eye, the echo of a kid running through a brightly lit hall. He turns to follow it, a fleeting feeling of warmth that leads to one of the closed doors.

It's no different from any other door he's seen and yet.

He reaches out to the handle, hypnotized by the foreign feeling.

"Can I help you?"

Jay startles, jumping back a good foot from the door.

There's a man standing just off to his right, bright blue eyes and glossy black hair tied back in a low ponytail.

"Sorry, I just-- I was looking for somewhere quiet," Jay says quickly, taking another step back from the door. Why on Earth was he thinking of opening the door, this man probably thinks he was planning on robbing the place while the Lord of the manor was preoccupied.

"I understand," the man says with a smile, a flash of teeth that tells him that he was right.

"No, I swear, I. Ugh, this looks really bad, doesn't it?" Jay shoves a hand through his hair in despair, fingers roughly combing through the fancy gel Kori had used to slick back and tame his hair.

"Well, it certainly doesn't look good," the man agrees, rocking back on his heels. He gives Jay a calculating look, eyes narrowing briefly before smiling and sticking out his hand. "I'm Tim and we can forget this if you come back to the ballroom with me."

Jay blinks, there's that feeling in his head again. A brief warmth, a blue eyed child looking at Jay and smiling, music drifting around him like a ghost. He takes Tim by the hand.

"I'm Jay."

[emmedoesntdomath]

guess who found it in her to make a delanceys part three

HAHA

I WAS GOING THROUGH OLD NOTES I MADE ABOUT RESEARCHING OLD FAMILIES OF THE UNITED STATES AND WE’RE BACK ON OUR HISTORY RANTS BABEYYYYYYY

so! I’ve seen a couple posts giving ideas and headcanons about the delanceys’ backgrounds and ethnicities, and I myself have made TWO separate posts about their background, specifically relating to their father, familial income, and status in comparison to the newsies, but I’ve never explored their ethnicities/actual family history beyond immediate (partially because I had no historical basis, partially because I didn’t care). BUT. BUT. TODAY IS THE DAY THAT WE WADE INTO THESE WATERS, ARMED WITH NOTHING BUT OLD EMME NOTES, NEW INFORMATION FOUND ABOUT AN HOUR AGO, AND SHEER AUDACITY. YOU’RE WELCOME. 

to begin this expedition, we must start with a lil’ crash course of american history. or, pre-american history. 

fun fact- new york city actually predates the establishing of the united states! it was originally dubbed new amsterdam by the dutch, and was a city created purely for the flourishing economy and selling of goods. run by and for the dutch company, it slowly became a metropolitan hub of commerce with incredible diversity of languages and peoples. the british took control in 1664, renaming it new york, and turning it into an autocratic province. corrupt governors would routinely reward their favorites and give them land and influence. examples of these favorites include the jays (including the future founding father, john jay), the livingstons (who, for my hamilton fans, were related to the schuyler family, and who would one day host an alexander hamilton whilst he served as an aide de camp to washington), and, funnily enough, the de lanceys.   

right now you might be thinking, emme. what? their name isn’t even the same. and to that I respond, oh, yes, you’re correct- history has never changed a name through multiple generations EVER. don’t use any other major family as an example. clearly, they don’t count. or, or, emme, these are fictional characters, this was probably coincidental. mayhaps. but. isn’t it a little funny? isn’t it a little interesting that a show based so much in history chose that name? I think so. here’s a little more backstory. 

the de lancey family is/was originally from southeast england, and from the very beginning, they were well off. money, land, the works. then, when times got awkward in the good, ol’ land of the queen (ie. religious tensions), the de lanceys peaced out, and migrated to the new world. and, again, you’re probably doubting me, like, emme, you can’t just say they were there when you want them to be there. actually, I can.  

we know from censuses that there were de lanceys in the new york area beginning in 1740, with stephen delancey (HA. SEE? THE NAME CHANGED)(look em up, he’s important to this story)- whose descendants would retain his influence. 

the lovely little british colony becomes the united states of america in 1776, and the delanceys are proud patriots in the american revolutionary war, producing an american general by the name of oliver delancey, who was the great-nephew of our friend stephen delancey (and cousin to stephen’s kid, the 28th and 30th governor of virginia back when it was just a colony. still think this is a coincidence?). he had a kid also named oliver delancey, and from there, there was another couple generations of US soldiers. and then, after roughly 1800-1825, the delanceys just kind of…disappeared. poof. 

now, does this mean the family didn’t exist? no, absolutely not. they just disappeared from that higher class and state of influence. in fact, you can still find large amounts of delancey descendants in north america today. 

but to my point, we can say our delanceys disappeared around…1815. that gives us, what, roughly three, four generations before we hit 1899? and if our delanceys are maybe 17-20, then let’s go with three. that still leaves PLENTY of leg room for a father that works the trolleys and two kids who turn to their uncle for grunt work to make an extra buck or two. and- ta da! the history of the delanceys. surprisingly more complex and long that one might anticipate. 

(I donate this to @sparkedblaze and @noxexistant specifically xoxo)

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

There's a Way (Chapter Six)

Summary: This is Part Thirteen of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Teen Audiences and Up

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz & Original Female Character, pre-Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes

Warnings: Stress over coming out, discussion of past abuse, emotional hurt/comfort, Pat Halstead being a horrible human being, homophobia, homophobic language, brief description of violence, angst with a happy ending.

A/N: I'll post the link to the ao3 page at the bottom. This story has not only an OC character, but some quirky elements which may or may not be everyone's jam. Just FYI. Updates will be slow coming as I pick away at them during breaks from work. I couldn't take a full break from this though - I'm too excited to write it so I made working on this series my reward for when I get stuff done, lol

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Will

“What do you want to do about Dad?”

And that—that was not a question Will had been expecting. “What do you mean?”

“This whole time you’ve been home,” Jay said. “Carrying this, keeping it to yourself, and you go over to see him, what? Once a week? Help with the house? The groceries? Help take care of him when he’s been a horrible piece of shit to you?”

He still didn’t know where Jay was going with this. “Yes,” he said, confusion colouring his tone. “He’s old and he needs help. I don’t do it for him, really. I do it for Mom. Before she died, she asked me—wanted me to promise to look after him.”

“And you did,” Jay said flatly.

“What was I supposed to do? Not grant her dying wish?” Will threw back at him.

“Yes!” Jay flailed in his chair. “She didn’t do shit to help protect us from him when he was alive. She never stood up to him when he was tearing us down. She didn’t get us out of there. And now I find out what else he did to you? I don’t believe for a second she didn’t know, Will. I can’t believe she asked you to do that.”

“You go over there too,” Will pointed out, not wanting to focus too much on Jay’s finely tipped points about their mom.

“Yeah, well, I’m also an idiot.” Jay sat back in his seat and looked at the clock. “Is it too early for beer?”

“Yes!” Bex yelled from the living room.

“Nice that she’s giving us space for this talk,” Jay said with a dry smile. He leaned his elbows on the table, focused back in on Will. “Does he still say shit to you?”

Will didn’t quite know how to answer that without causing another blow up.

Jay nodded slowly at his silence. “I’m going to take that as a yes.” He took a deep, steadying breath. “Okay,” he said, standing up and hunting around the kitchen. “Here’s what we’re going to do.”

He returned to the table with a large piece of scrap paper and a pen. He wrote out The Fuck Off Forever Pat Halstead Plan at the top and underlined it twice. “He can’t maintain the house himself anymore,” Jay said, making notes. “So, we’re going to sell it and he can move into an apartment. He should have enough money left over to pay for help to come in a few times a week.”

“Jay—”

“No,” Jay cut him off. He set down the pen and levelled a look at Will. “Listen,” he said. “If seeing him still is something that you feel that you need to do, I’m not going to stop you. I don’t think it’s healthy, but that’s something for you to decide. What I don’t want if for you to feel like you have to go over there. This is a way to free you from that.” He tilted his head as he thought that over. “Both of us, really. He doesn’t deserve our time or our energy, Will and I think this is a good solution.”

Will didn’t have it in him to argue. He was so tired and the thought of being done with his dad. Of being free? That felt like a dream come true. Reality was still tiptoeing around the edges of that dream. “How are we going to convince him though?”

“We aren’t going to do anything,” Jay said, firmly. “Let me handle this.” He caught the argument brewing on Will’s face. “Please, Will. I don’t want you to have to deal with him any more than you have to. Please let me do this for you?”

“Okay,” Will finally agreed. He felt guilty letting Jay take the reins on this, but with how determined his brother looked, it didn’t seem like a fight he would win. Especially if Jay roped Bex into it. “How about I start looking at apartment listings?”

Jay reached over and grasped his arm, giving it a squeeze, flashing him a smile. “That sounds great,” he said, returning to his list. “I’ve got this, Will. I promise.”

Bex came barging back into the kitchen at that moment. “Beau is at Chris and Cindy’s right now having BRUNCH! WHAT IS HAPPENING?”

Will made the mistake of making eye contact with Jay and the two of them bent over laughing.

“This is not funny! This is a problem! Guys! Guys!!”

***

Jay

Jay got into his truck and sat there for a moment, forehead resting against the steering wheel. He was bone-deep exhausted after his visit with Will and he could only imagine how his brother felt.

He kept flipping back and forth between wanting to cry for Will and wanting to kick his own ass for how he’d contributed to things. If he hadn’t been such a dick as a teenager, maybe Will would have come to him and he could have gone to Chris and Cindy.

Could have found a way to help him.

“Argh!” Jay punched at the steering wheel a few times before taking a deep breath.

He could practically hear Chris’s voice in his head.

The past is the past. No sense in beating yourself up over things you can’t change. You know better now. You’re doing better now and you’re gonna keep doing better. New path, right, bud?  

“New path,” Jay muttered, turning on the truck and backing out of the lot. “New path.”

He followed the familiar route back to his childhood home and parked in the driveway. He didn’t bother knocking. Just used his key and strode in.

Pat was in his usual place. Sitting in the lazy boy in front of the TV with too many empty beer cans already sitting beside him.

Pat squinted at him. “What d’you want?”

“Right now?” Jay spit out. “To beat the crap out of you, but you’re really not worth losing my job over.”

“Say that again, boy,” Pat struggled to lower the foot rest and clambered up to stand in front of Jay.

It hit him in that moment how small his dad was now. How old.

Jay was taller and broader and a hell of a lot more steady on his feet.

“I know what you did to Will,” Jay said, staring the man down. Feeling satisfaction in the way he took a step back. “Know what you’ve been saying to him. I always thought you were a piece of shit, Pat, but this tops it all. So, what am I doing here?”

He stepped forward until Pat fell back into his chair and Jay leaned over him. “I’m here to tell you how it’s going to fucking go and you’re going to fucking listen. We’re done with you. You are out of our lives. You have no children. You are alone in this world.”

Pat opened his mouth and Jay sliced a hand through the air. “No,” he said. “Don’t even start, okay? This is done. I’m offering one bit of kindness and that’s only—only, do you hear me?—because Will wants us too. We’re going to sell this house. You’re going to move into an apartment that you can manage on your own. We’ll find someone to come by and help you out every once in awhile and you’re going to pay for it.”

“Like hell—”

“That’s the offer, Pat,” Jay said. “And it’s not going to be on the table for long. The alternative is that we walk away right now and leave you in this house to rot.”

His father’s face was thunderous, but he seemed to bite back any further argument. Good. For once in his life, Pat Halstead was making the smart choice.

“Okay, then.” Jay straightened up. “I’ll get things rolling on that and you best start packing. I’m going to get this done as fast as possible so we can be rid of you.”

“You can hate me all you want,” Pat snarled out, apparently not so smart after all. “But I made you boys strong.”

“No,” Jay lurched forward. “Christopher and Cindy Herrmann and Bex made me strong. You had fuck all to do with it.” He took a steadying breath. “And Will? He got strong all on his own. You’re damn lucky he survived long enough to do so because otherwise I’d be here to murder you and you know what? No one. Would. Fucking. Care.”

He turned on his heel and walked out the door.

***

Bex  

A few weeks later…

The weather had finally started to turn warmer and everyone was a bit stir crazy from the cold months so Bex organized a little get together for those who had the day off.

Maybe it was also slightly because she knew Will and Jay could use the fresh air and some fun to take their minds off of the shit show that had been moving Pat into his new place.

It was done though and that was what mattered. There was already a huge difference in both of her brothers. It was like a weight they hadn’t even realized they were carrying had been lifted off of their shoulders.

She’d looped Chris and Cindy in on everything as well. Will and Jay had received a sizeable amount of extra love and affection from the Herrman household lately and did not seem to mind in the least.

They had a nice sized group for their meet up in the park. Bex, Will, Jay, Mouse, Adam and Kim, Kevin, Sam and Devon and Isaac, Connor, April and Ethan, Joe, Otis, Shay and Julie, Gabi and Matt, Sylvie, and Kelly and Stella. A flag foot ball game was being put together while Otis and Isaac played frisbee and Bex relaxed on her insulated picnic blanket.

She felt no need to participate in the sportsing. She had a cozy blanket on her legs, another cozy blanket underneath her, a pile of her family and friends around her, and snacks! What more did she need?

Mouse ambled over and flopped down beside her with a little ‘oof!’

“Not going to join in on the football?” she laughed at him.

“Why would I run around getting sweaty when over here there’s a cozy blanket and snacks?” he asked, shuffling around to scoot in beside her and share the blanket. “Now,” he said, eyes lighting up. “What’s in these containers? Share, please.”

Bex laughed and started handing over boxes for him to rummage through.

Yup. This was all she needed.

***

Matt

He stood on the sidelines of the game, watching Bex and Mouse across the field, sitting and laughing on her picnic blanket.

His brain started sifting through his memories of the past few weeks. Past few months. “Holy crap,” Matt whispered to himself.

“Casey,” Severide jogged over to him. “What are you doing? Ready to get back over there?”

“I know what the bet’s about,” Matt said.

“Wait, what?” Severide immediately zoned in on that information, game forgotten. “What is it? Come on, don’t hold out on me.”

He silently pointed across the field and Severide followed the path, focusing on the same scene Matt has been watching. He squinted, tilting his head to the side, and Matt could see the pieces falling into place for him. “Oh, shit! No way!”

Severide frowned. “I feel weird betting on Bex’s love life. She’s like our little sister.”

“I know,” Matt crossed his arms as he watched Bex laugh and toss a cookie at Mouse. “It feels like yesterday she was fifteen—and what do we know about this guy anyway?”

“I mean, he’s Jay’s best friend,” Severide pointed out. “I think he’s probably pretty solid.”

“You’re my best friend and I wouldn’t let my sister date you,” Matt said.

“That’s just rude,” Severide gasped, falling into him. “I’m hurt.”

Matt laughed and shoved him away. “I’ve actually heard good things about him though,” he mused. “Not just from Jay. Mouch says Trudy likes him. You know what she’s like.”

“Mm-hm.” Severide raised his eyebrows at that tidbit. “Plus, Bex is a grown-ass adult now. We should be trusting her to make her own choices.”

“And profiting off of them?” Matt shook his head.

“I heard Shay say the pot was up to five hundred dollars,” Severide whispered.

“We need to see the chart,” Matt said, heading over to Gabi and Shay, Severide hot on his heels.

***

Will

“We’re going out,” Bex announced as she plopped herself down on the couch beside him. “What?” Will took his gaze off the game to shoot her a questioning look. “Where? When?”

“What? Going out, as in leaving the house,” Bex said, ticking notes off on her fingers. “Where? To a super fun club. When? Tomorrow night. I know you’re free, I checked your schedule, don’t lie.” She narrowed her eyes at him before continuing with her list. “How? Uber, probably. Who? With these people, right here.”

She shoved her phone in his face and he read the list of familiar names, feeling his cheeks heat at the last one. Will pushed her phone away and Bex jumped back in, prepared for his next question.

“Why?” She smiled at him. “Because I think it will be fun and I want to help you build up your queer community.”

“Bex,” he began, not quite sure how to take that.

“Listen, I know you said you didn’t have any lasting relationships back in New York, but you had friends right?” He nodded. “And I know you have lots of supportive friends here, but I also know from my own friends that it’s just different having a circle of fellow queer friends to lean on. I thought it might makes things easier to dip your toe in by going out to have some fun with people that you already know and like. Safe people.”

That actually sounded nice.

“And me,” Bex added. “I wanna daaaance.”

“Okay,” Will laughed, giving in. “Let’s go out tomorrow night.”

“We’re going to dress you too.”

“Wait, what?” ***

Will

The next night…

He followed Bex, Malia, and Kira through the crowd, spotting the rest of their friends up ahead. “I still think this shirt is too small,” he grumbled as he pulled at the forest green fabric.

“Hush,” Malia gave him a friendly poke in the side. “Trust me, I’m telling you objectively as someone not attracted to men in any way shape or form: you look hot.”

Well, that was pretty definitive. He tried to settle the butterflies in his stomach at being out at a gay club in Chicago. You’re with Bex. You’re with friendly people. This is okay.

“Will!” Shay waved at him from the little group she was standing with. Julie was beside her along with Bex’s other friends, Sam, Devon, and Isaac.

Greetings and hugs were exchanged and Will had half a second to stand there, feeling awkward when another voice popped up beside him. “Hey.”

He turned to see Connor joining their little group, looking…ridiculously attractive in a black Henley that was hugging him in all the right places. Will realized he was blatantly checking the man out and started to die of embarrassment until he looked up and noticed Connor giving him an appreciative look of his own.

“Looking good, Dr. Halstead,” Connor said with a little smirk.

“Told you so,” Malia sing-songed beside him.

“Hey,” Connor leaned in and nodded a head toward the dance floor. “Do you wanna?”

“Dance?” Will’s voice did not squeak.

“Well,” Connor grinned. “You do owe me one.”

Damn. He was good. “You are not wrong,” Will said and let Connor take his hand to lead him out onto the floor.

Cheers followed behind them, Bex loudest of all. Will could feel the flush creeping up his face again. “I’m sorry for the, uh, entourage,” he laughed.

“Don’t be. I’m jealous,” Connor said, pulling him close. “Wish I had my own. You’re a lucky guy, Will Halstead.”

Will smiled over at Bex who blew him a kiss before turning back to her friends.

“Yeah,” he said. “I really am.” Click here for Chapter Seven - Bonus Content

Click here to read There's a Way on ao3

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed): @sorry-i-spaced, @iunnowatuwant, @lexhalstead3, @multifandomgrl08, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @ivyalmighty, @thewannabewriter

[popentertainment-moviereviews]

HONK FOR JESUS. SAVE YOUR SOUL. (2022)

Starring Regina Hall, Sterling K. Brown, Austin Crute, Nicole Beharie, Conphidance, Devere Roger, Avis Marie Barnes, Olivia D. Dawson, Mike Dyl Anthony, Natasha L. Fuller, Robert Yatta, Greta Marable Glenn, Crystal Alicia Garrett, Selah Kimbro Jones, Andrea Laing, Jerome Beazer, Perris Drew, Tairat Baoku, Dhane Ross, John Menchion and Jah Shams.

Screenplay by Adamma Ebo.

Directed by Adamma Ebo.

Distributed by Focus Features. 102 minutes. Rated R.

There are obviously both great feelings of love and disdain for the world of southern megachurches in Adamma Ebo’s sometimes savage but always fair and funny mock-documentary Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul.

Of course, there is a lot to love and hate in this world, and Honk For Jesus is able to juggle the absurdity and the tragedy of the situation our two deluded leads find themselves in.

Pastor Lee-Curtis Childs (Sterling K. Brown) and his “first lady” Trinitie (Regina Hall) are trying to reopen their once-popular Southern Baptist megachurch called Wander the Greater Paths. It is one of those huge churches that preaches that God is essentially an ATM – if you live a pious life, you will be rewarded by riches beyond your wildest dreams. The couple at the head of the church made sure to demonstrate this opulence to their flock whenever possible. If you can dream it, you can be it.

The two had put all of their efforts into the running of the church (Trinitie is actually the brains behind the operation) and built it to be a great success, with a thriving congregation and their own cable television show – until everything came crashing down due to a sexual scandal revolving around Pastor Childs.

Months down the line the stories have slowed down a bit and the couple feel it is time to reopen the parish, however they seem to have lost much of their flock to a newer, shinier ministry nearby. And the old rumors about the Pastor and some of the boys in his flock are still out there.

Therefore, they take on a team of documentary filmmakers to chronicle the reopening of the church, hoping for a bit of positive PR. Unfortunately, they quickly realize that the camera crew are not looking to do a puff piece on them, instead making a warts-and-all portrait of the couple and their desperate attempt to revive their career.

As is usually with this kind of film, this leads to many crazed, desperate moments of “true life” intruding on the odd little bubble of delusion that the heroes live in. This desperation is sometimes palpable – like the moments where the couple stands on the side of the road by their church with signs reading “Honk for Jesus” just to get a little bit of attention from a world which has mostly left them behind.

However, what is most unusual about Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul. is the high quality of acting on display. Sterling K. Brown and especially Regina Hall nail these somewhat problematic characters and give them a depth and sympathetic air that they do not always deserve through their acts. These are money-hungry, selfish, slightly superficial people, but in an odd way they do believe in what they are doing, as well.

And one scene when Trinitie finally blows her top has some of the best acting we’ve seen in quite some time.

Honk For Jesus is not often laugh-out-loud funny. It is a bit too subtle for that. It is also a bit too serious. However, it captures this world and its people all too accurately.

Jay S. Jacobs

Copyright ©2022 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: September 2, 2022.

[xtruss]

Can Influencers Survive A TikTok Ban?

— Newsweek | May 01, 2024

Amidst the looming possibility of a U.S. ban on the popular video-sharing app TikTok, influencers have found themselves grappling with the potential ramifications on their careers and livelihoods.

With 150 million users in the U.S., TikTok is the cornerstone of many influencers' online presence, a crucial avenue for audience engagement and a significant source of income. Fueled by concerns about national security risks, President Joe Biden has signed into law a bill that demands TikTok's parent company ByteDance sell its stake in the company or the app will be banned in the U.S.

"It's like a stab in the back," said Noah Jay Wood, @noahjaywood on TikTok, a content creator and actor with 7.2 million followers on the video sharing app.

"TikTok is the foundation of all of my social media platforms. So without TikTok, I would have never like grown on like Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube," he told Newsweek.

According to Influencity, a platform specializing in influencer marketing, the U.S. boasts an estimated 10 million influencers.

Increasingly, influencers are forging full-time careers in content creation. Goldman Sachs reports that the creator economy, encompassing such influencers, was estimated to be a $250 billion industry in 2023 and is projected to balloon to $480 billion by 2027.

Annabelle Gesson, left, has 6 million followers on TikTok and is a top-earning creator on Fanfix. And Noah Jay Wood, right, who has over 7 million TikTok followers and credits the platform for helping him build an online audience. Photo Credit: @AnnabelleGesson & @NoahJayWood On TikTok

For influencers, losing TikTok would entail far more than just a decline in followers and could deal a substantial blow to their livelihood.

"It would be extremely impactful for creators who make a majority of their income through TikTok," Jess Hunichen, Co-Founder of a Global Influencer Talent Management agency Shine Talent Group, told Newsweek. "There's no question that we would see some very immediate impact."

“It would Be Extremely Impactful For Creators.” — Jess Hunichen, Co-Founder of Shine Talent Group

Through the TikTok Creator Rewards Program (formerly the Creativity Program Beta), creators can earn between $0.50 and $1 per 1,000 views. This means creators can earn between $500 and $1,000 per 1 million views. While this program can prove profitable for creators, there are plenty of caveats with eligibility, content types and what qualifies as a view.

This isn't the only way creators make money on the platform, though. Through branded and sponsored content, creators can make large sums working with brands. For example, TikToker Alex Ojeda, who has around 8.4 million followers, told Business Insider he charges $20,000 for a single sponsored video on the platform.

Photo-Illustration By Newsweek/Getty

Like A Stab In The Back

"I understand why creators are worried about how this could affect their income," Harry Gestetner, co-founder of leading Gen Z creator platform Fanfix, told Newsweek.

Despite having large followings across a series of social platforms now, Wood explained that TikTok is the best place for him to keep up with the latest viral trends and gather inspiration. "Now I have to figure out which social media platform I have to like scroll on and find ideas," he said. "And that's super hard too because TikTok has the best algorithm out of all of them."

TikTok's algorithm shows videos depending on what it thinks a user would most like to see, in contrast to platforms that base what they show on social networks.

Maks Majewski, left, who is concerned about a TikTok ban in the U.S. despite being in the U.K. himself. And Daniel Sango Antonio, @doctorsango on TikTok, who said he would also see a hit in the event of a ban. Photo credit: @thatguymaks & @doctorsango on TikTok

Maks Majewski has 2.8 million followers on TikTok for his handle @thatguymaks and makes videos on everything from Fortnite to pranking his parents.

"A TikTok ban would have a huge effect on me," he told Newsweek. "Even though I'm from the U.K., a large proportion of my followers are based in the U.S. which would basically more than halve my following and if the ban does go through."

"My income would be hit just due to TikTok being my largest and main platform," he added. "My main income is based from views and campaigns which would eliminate both if it does happen. If TikTok would get banned the only option would be to migrate onto another platform however TikTok was always the place that made me who I am today and it'll always feel like home. Not all platforms are as friendly as TikTok."

Daniel Sango Antonio, @doctorsango on TikTok, agreed. "TikTok is one of my main income sources," he told Newsweek. "Luckily for me, I've got other platforms I can rely on. But it would be nicer if TikTok sticks around."

Whether a TikTok ban will come into force in the U.S. is still unclear. The latest version of the bill gives TikTok 270 days to sell to another company, with provisions for additional 90-day extensions if "significant progress" is being made to sell TikTok.

“TikTok Was Always The Place That Made Me Who I Am Today And It'll Always Feel Like Home.” — Maks Majewski, TikTok Creator

Despite worry among many users, there is optimism among the experts who are confident that influencers will find a way to pivot in the event of a ban.

"In the short term, some creators would take a slight hit on brand deal income as brands reevaluate their influencer and creator marketing strategies. However, over the longer term, most of those ad dollars would just move to other platforms like Instagram," said Gestetner, who explained that at his business FanFix, they are encouraging influencers to ensure they build an audience among multiple platforms.

"There will be a technological shift here. And I think it's kind of akin to, say the internet or, you know, the rise of AI or iOS," said Gestetner. "I think that generally comes with a lot of worry. However, there's a huge amount of opportunity that comes out of that. I'm very bullish on the creator economy. I'm very excited about the creator economy. I think creators are very resilient."

Without TikTok, Hunichen predicts there will be a shift not just to other platforms, but to new forms of content too. "We'll see increases in sponsorships of Substacks or podcasts in a less traditional way," she theorized. "Podcasts have been very numbers-focused, so podcast partnerships may emulate collaborations or partnerships on TikTok and Instagram."

[laxdnd]

D&D Session #03

Episode III: “I think you should do the courageous thing and sacrifice yourself” - JJ (as Jip Dip)

Each member of the party was given separate accommodations. When they woke up from a long slumber, they found a letter, thanking them for protecting the cleric and delivering the townspeople, as well as a gemstone shaped like a bar, worth around 1,000 gold pieces.

As discussed the day before, each member of the party gathered together, and met with the children that became Warlocks, as well as Bervok’s crew, and went to the mage's guild. Once there, the party was separated from everyone else. Presumably, they were questioned separately. The party was brought to meet with the goblin named Bert, who introduced himself as a senator. He told the party that he was given a budget, and that they were to equip themselves from his wares. The party were not given a set number, but were told that Bert would figure out what was too much. This led to a significant amount of discussion about which party members needed the most new equipment, as well as discussions around some of Bert’s more unique wares.

The party decided to purchase Guyeater a new suit of armor, one that Burt specifically said would make them live longer, as well as give Omar an enhancement to his armor. Several members of the party also used some of their reward money to buy less expensive items. Ped bought a Level 3 spell scroll, and a Potion of Rockets. Omar bought a Potion of Elemental Weapon and a Potion of Recognition. Piercing Jay bought a Potion of Greater Healing, two Potions of Healing, and a Potion of Reloading. Lastly Adam bought a Potion of Unseeing, and two of Bert’s special Potions of Healing.

The mage guild seemed to confirm the likelihood that alchemical wines and beers, including the one that Bervok had made, might be able to run some interference on whatever the sickness was / is. That being said, they admitted that they still don't know much about it, and want to learn more. Because of that, and because of other things going on, they decided to send us to investigate the Zhentil Keep to learn more information, and state that we had already accepted supplies for the mission (from Bert), so we didn't have much choice in the matter.

The members of the mage guild went over what they were hoping to learn from this mission. Specifically, they wanted us to find the agents that were attempting to kidnap the children. They stated that it had been difficult to send in reinforcements there in the past, which is why that they were asking us to do so. Part of the reason that it is/was hard to send in reinforcements is due to the layers of undead that surround the city, as well as the hag infested woods that lie between Hillsfar and the Zhentil Keep. They estimated that it would be a 15 day journey to get there and back, and thus gave us 20 days of rations. Ped, however, buys some nicer rations, as he did not want to eat the original rations.

The next morning, Omar woke up, and found a new cloak in his room, which had the properties of both a cloak of billowing, and a cloak of protection (+1 to AC and saving throws!) Guteater found an intricate, black splint adamantine armor set. They also both received three biscuits, and a magic box that could hold them. The biscuits specifically had the property that they will taste/smell like the sweet treat the person consuming it most wants. As such, Guteater immediately suggests using it to poison enemies.

The mage guild gave the party a sending stone, and instructed them to send updates every day when relevant, with up to 25 words.

Adam cast Pass without Trace on the party, and they head off. They traveled through the forest for a few days - the forest was very inhospitable, and it was incredibly cold, icky, and rainy. Eventually, they came across an old wooden bridge, that didn't seem incredibly well maintained. Next to the bridge was a small hut, and outside the hut, were three young human women. The party assumed that these are the hags that we were warned about.

The party discussed how to move forward, with Piercing Jay arguing that we should ignore them, and Omar suggesting we go talk to them, with other members of the party being ambivalent, with only slight leanings. Eventually, the propensity for chaos of a few of the party members pushed them towards the hut - Omar takes the lead, and Adam subtly enhanced his wisdom.

After some discussion with the hags, they told us that we should not worry about the bridge. Omar realized with absolute certainty that they were not being deceptive, but they were not telling the full story. He presses on, and asks if they had things to sell, as well as their relationship with the Zhentarim. The Hags told Omar that they had a tiny bit of falling out, and that they had “acquired some of their people.” They then went over that they expect the party to pay 25 gold per person to cross the bridge. Several members of the party are skeptical, but Omar immediately paid the 25 gold, and Adam paid 100 for the rest of the party. Upon entering the bridge, the mirage disappeared, and they saw an old stone bridge, complete with the skeletons of many people who had failed to pay the toll.

After 7 more days of traveling, the party arrived at the other side of the forest. Given the length of time that the party had already been traveling, they realized their rations would be wholly inadequate, and that it was very likely that they will have to subsist on goodberries, and food they could hunt and forage, on the way back. The party saw the Zhentil Keep was about a day's walk away, but also saw several groups of undead creatures that would likely make that a longer trek.

The party saw two different paths they could take, one of which contained undead ogres to fight, the other containing undead beholders. The party decided that they would prefer not to deal with either, and tried to track closer to the ogres, seeing them as less dangerous, but also wanted to act like zombies so that the zombies might not attack them. Unfortunately, this does not last very long, and they are shortly engaged in battle.

Pad worked to trap several zombies in a time field, Piercing Jay heroically shot a zombie ogre in the eye from a distance, while Guteater madr his way into the thick of things. The party soon discovered that the normal zombies, except for the ogres, were not hard to hit, but unfortunately hit back equally as hard, and Omar and Guteater took several injuries. Slowly but surely, the party was able to take out a number of zombies. The battle seemed to be on pretty equal footing, but then Ped was able to cast a large spell on one of the ogres, causing it to be completely enfeebled. After that, the scales were tipped, and the party was able to finish off the rest of the attacking undead.

Given the injuries the party had sustained, they decided to spend their efforts looking for a place that they would be able to rest for the night. Guteater asked Jip Dip to scout a route, and try to find some lodging. He returned later, with talk of an abandoned farmhouse. The party sneaked over to the house, looked in the door, and realized that the farmhouse was infested with zombies. Ped and Adam fired off ranged spells from the door and immediately ran away a distance, and Jay followed suit, firing her bow into the house. A few came out, and attacked Omar, who striked back, killing one of them and knocking off it's head. Adam killed the other one attacking Omar. From there, Guteater and Omar entered the house, and took care of the remaining zombies. The house was small, and solely contained a pantry, a storage room, and a few bedrooms.

The party agreed to split up the night into four separate watches, most of which were uneventful. During the third watch however, Piercing Jay noticed a few zombies and an undead ogre heading in the direction of the house. While she considered fighting them on her own, she eventually settled to wake up Guteater, and try to have Jippity Dippity lead them astray, using a torch. Jippity Dippity was not a fan of this plan, and insisted that Piercing Jay should go by herself to fight them, and discusses the risk that would be involved with him not being able to come back for a while if he were to perish. However, he was eventually overruled, and went to distract the zombies. While there were a few close calls, he was ultimately successful.

The next morning, the party continued trekking towards the city. They ran into a cleric of Kelemvor, and two fighters attacking zombies. They did not seem to be having many issues. Nevertheless, the party went to go and help them. The Cleric introduced himself as Ruben, and asked us what brought us to the area. They explained that they were stationed out of Zhentil Keep, and were paid to help keep the zombies at bay, as there are an infinite number of them. The party was honest, but does not tell the full story, telling Ruben that there is somebody in the Zhentil Keep that they need to find, as well as about the child kidnapping.

Ruben was surprised to hear about the kidnapping, and one of the fighters specifically asked if the party had seen a child with long white hair, like his own. None of the party was familiar with someone like that. Piercing Jay explained this had happened in Yulash, and seemingly also happening elsewhere. Ruben said that he would send a message to inform the clerics in his temple, and offered to give us a discount on his services as a guide to enter the city. The party paid 20 gold a piece, and then followed him. Ruben had a map that, despite Adam's frequent attempts, he didn't let us see. The tunnels were incredibly confusing, and no one would be able to figure out what was the right path alone.

When the party arrived in the city, they saw that it was incredibly poorly kept, and there were several people clearly in pain in the streets, as well as bodies hanging from buildings. There was also a very prominent central tower that was several levels tall.

Ruben brought the party to a general store, known as The Jagged Rock, which was run by clerics of Umberlee. There, he gave us some general information about the city. Apparently, there were very few places to rent rooms, and even fewer places where you could do so legally. There was one in that is sanctioned by the Zhentarim, as well as the Battle Hall of Tempus. However, it seemed even most adventurers would use the sanctioned Inn.

Beyond that, he discussed the fact that clerics are allowed to use their magic, but other forms of magic were frowned upon, and from looking around, it was fairly simple to verify that even the other adventurers in the area weren't exactly brandishing their magic openly. Ruben then directed us to a money exchange, where the party could exchange their money for more coins like the one Omar had. Shortly after, Ruben left, and the party used the sending stone to let the Mage's Guild know they had made it into the keep. They did not receive a response.

The party also saw several people looking for jobs, and very few people who traded in Zhentil Keep currency, as well as most merchants exchanging in normal currency, and only having basic necessities for sale. Clerics seemed to be the ones upholding any sort of law that exists.

At the exchange, the party learned that there was only one place where they could exchange normal currency for zhentocoins, and that zhentocoins enforced a verbal contract on the exchange of information for that currency, once that contract is stated. Those contracts are then backed up by the state, and if you do not live up to one, Zhentarim agents would be sent to kill you. Omar and Ped both bought 1 silver zhentocoin, Piercing Jay buys 2 silver and 2 copper zhentocoin, and Adam bought one gold zhentocoin. Adam learned there are two people allowed to sell maps of the area, specifically one named Nimbaud the Magnificent, and another, Tesh the Innkeeper.

Tesh’s Inn, the party realized, was the Central Tower that they saw before. They took a closer look at it, and realized that it goes up four levels, with finer buildings on the upper levels. They learned from talking to some people that they would be able to get onto the second level, which is known as the merchants district, once they had spent a hundred gold in the area, and that they would need to earn a favor from Zhentarim nobles to get any higher.

From here, the party discussed next actions, and decided that since Adam and Piercing Jay had means of disguising themselves, they would venture into the Inn, and the others will investigate more of the Keep.

Piercing Jay disguised herself as a human, and Adam wild-shaped into a rat. They go to the bar in the Inn, and learned that it costs 30 gold per night to stay there. While there were several lavish accommodations, including drinks and fancy meals, the reason for the high price was that people staying at the Inn had full amnesty, and even Zhentarim assassins would not be allowed to kill you while you reside at the inn. They also learned about the locks on the rooms, which seemed to be magical, and incredibly hard to pick.

Piercing Jay looked around the bar, and saw a strange cat with a mask shaped like a bat. She went over to the cat, exchanged pleasantries, and wanted to know if the cat knew anything about kidnapped children. The cat, who later introduced himself as Batcat, did not want to exchange information without payment in the form of zhentocoin. Eventually, they settled, and Piercing Jay paid the cat 2 silver zhentocoin.

The cat went on to explain that Rak, a gnome that lived in the district, was complaining about noises from children, but that they had been dismissed, as many people viewed him as insane. The cat also said that Rak lived in the Apothecary, and frequently made explosions. Batcat then also mentioned that if Piercing Jay was able to find any undead mice, to let him know, and that he would pay one silver zhentocoin per undead mice hideout, and would pay her one gold zhentocoin if we were able to find an undead mouse with clown makeup and a purple suit. What a joker!

Piercing Jay went back up to the bar, and bought a room under the false alias, JP. She also bought a map at Adam's request, using Adam's gold zhentocoin to do so. Piercing Jay attempted to talk to Tesh about the missing children, and fish for information, but unfortunately got no bites. When Piercing Jay asked for her silence regarding her questions, Tesh requested a Zhentarim gold piece, which neither Adam or Piercing Jay could afford to consider.

Upon purchasing a room, they learned about how the lock mechanism for the rooms work. They received a set of codes. The first code was random, and changed every 10 days. The second code was Tesh's code, and that changed randomly. The third code is a code that Piercing Jay could set and change at her discretion.

Piercing Jay and Adam scuttered around the bar, Adam quite literally as he was a rat, trying to find more information. It became very clear very quickly that they would not be able to find any information from Zhentarim agents, as they were speaking in code. However, they did learn that no one at the inn came from the north, and the majority of the tenants arrived from the South of the Zhentil Keep.

Outside of the Inn, Omar tried to peddle information regarding the recent events of the towns that had been turned to undead, but no one particularly cared, given their frequent exposure to undead presences. Guteater paid a local to give them a tour, and information about the town, and its history.

Guteater, Ped, and Omar learned a lot. Firstly, they learned that the Zhentil Keep was not always like it is today. Apparently, the rulers of the city pissed off some extra planar shadow creatures, who killed about 90% of the population, and turned them into undead creatures. However, the Zhentarim decided to continue holding their center of operations there, due to the familiarity they had with the city, and the intricate tunnel system that lay beneath it. They also learned that thr Zhentarim had recently pissed off a group of Hags, and thus were now unable to utilize a bridge in the forest. Guteater, Omar, and Ped recognized this as the bridge they had crossed 4 days prior.

They also learned that there were two laws to the city: no one is allowed to be caught doing harm to merchants, and no one is allowed to harm Black Lords, the name for Zhentarim Nobles. Basically, if you commit a crime against someone who isn't a noble, and are able to get away with it, people will just let you be. Beyond that, there was an unofficial “Law of the Ladies,” which is important to the town, specifically that only two businesses are able to deal in prostitution, specifically the Lily Pad, and the Crimson Rose. Women who worked there would wear light green and blue, and pink and red, respectively. Notably, this was the only business not controlled by the Zhentarim in the entirety of the Zhentil Keep.

They also learned more of Nimbaud the Magnificent, who was one of the people who was able to sell maps. It was said in the town that he spies on people, but people weren't aware of how. It is later speculated by the party that he may be scrying, and hiding the fact that he is doing so. They also learned that worshiping Mystra would lead to your hands being cut off, and that this was enforced by Clerics of Loviator, who acted as the police force in the area. Further, they learned that clerics at the temple of Kelemvor were paid to help reduce the zombie population in the surrounding area. They learned that they could also receive payments for killing undead, if they were to bring in the heads of the undead that they would kill. Lastly, while they have all learned that non-divine magic is frowned upon, they learned that the Jagged Rock does sell illicit goods, and then that likely includes magic items, as the Zhentarim and Zhentil Keep brings in much strange business.

Memorable Quotes

“Hags bad, Devils good. Also, you're going to die” - Jippity Dippity

“You punch a crying kid's head off” - Carmen

New/Important Characters

Bert, Senator and Shopkeep Unnamed Hags Ruben, Cleric of Kelemvor Unnamed Fighter Unnamed Silver Haired Fighter Tesh, Zhentarim Innkeeper (na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na) BATCAT (na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na) Zhentarim Money Exchanger (unnamed) Nimbaud the Magnificent

New Locations

Hag Infested Forest (Unnamed, between Zhentil Keep and Hillsfar) Zhentil Keep (current location) The Jagged Rock, Zhentarim Store Battle Hall of Tempus Tesh’s Inn Various Levels of the Keep/Inn Apothecary (mentioned)

[adamwatchesmovies]

Tom and Jerry: The Movie (1992)

If you know your internet memes, you’re probably aware of the best scene in Tom and Jerry: The Movie. It’s got you wondering if there are other hidden gems within its running time. Could this movie be so bad it’s good? I'm sorry to say it isn’t. This animated musical comedy is an ordeal. The plot is worthless, the animation ok at best, the songs horrid, characters bland, and as a big-screen adaptation of the classic cartoon characters, it’s a knife in the back. The movie is fun to talk about, however. If you and your friends are bad movie sadomasochists, it may be worth checking out.

After her father disappears during a Tibetan expedition, 8-year-old Robyn Starling (voiced by Anndi McAfee) - and her family’s fortune - are given to her abusive guardian “Aunt” Pristine Figg (voiced by Charlotte Rae). She conspires with her lawyer, Lickboot (voiced by Tony Jay), to keep all of that beautiful money for themselves. When Robyn runs away and bumps into Tom (voiced by Richard King) and Jerry (voiced by Dana Hill), she brings them back home and learns her father may still be alive somewhere.

Let’s begin with that title. This is hardly a “Tom and Jerry movie". For one, the cat and mouse are not the main characters. I wouldn't even call them important to this plot. Robyn is the protagonist. Without her, there is no story, no conflict, no villains. This means films like Tom and Jerry and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or Tom and Jerry and the Wizard of Oz - in which the titular duo are dumped in a plot they have little impact upon - are proudly upholding a tradition that began in 1992. It’s a shocker - almost as much as the scene in which the characters begin talking. They rarely - if ever - spoke in the cartoons. That was part of their appeal. It was all about these opponents trying to violently kill each other. Here, they sing a song about how good a pair of friends they are.

This movie wants to be ‘90s Disney so, so bad. To stretch its paper-thin plot (which is essentially ripped off from The Rescuers) we have one bad song after another. Each of these tunes is destined to be forgotten the second they end. That’s a relief. The rhymes and lyrics are so awful you’d curse yourself for remembering them if you did. However, this does bring us to the one - intentionally - good moment in the entire film: the villain’s song. (Money is Such) a Beautiful Word is exactly what you think it is. Minutes upon minutes of bad rhymes detailing how greedy Aunt Figg and Lickboot are. It’s pretty funny to see, but only if preceded by Tony Jay saying “We’ve got to have… money!”. The irony is that this blatant acknowledgment of greed is exactly what the executives must’ve told their lackeys when the film was green-lit.

There are obvious flaws in every scene. At one point, Robyn nearly drowns and is rescued by Captain Kiddie (voiced by Rip Taylor), the owner of a deserted amusement park whose right hand is always busy manipulating a puppet - an avatar for his split personality. Every sign points towards “child molester” but that wasn’t the intention, which is also pretty funny. When he's introduced, Aunt Figg and Lickboot desperately want Robyn back, so they're offering a $1 million reward to anyone who can find her and plaster her photo onto milk cartoons to spread the word. They do this on the same day she goes missing, which is impossible, but even the “we don’t care” team of director Phil Roman and writer Dennis Marks had to realize distributing these cartons would take a while, which is why Captain Kiddie explains to Robyn that she’s been out cold for 6 days. Anyone else would’ve called the police but evidently, he’s planning on chaining her up in his dungeon. Cut to a scene where he offers to pour Robyn a glass of milk. You can see where this is going. The carton has her picture on it, prompting his stupid bird to go ballistic and dollar signs to flash before his eyes. Here’s what I’m wondering. When did he buy that milk carton? Did he not recognize her before this very moment?

Another mistake in this train wreck is the character designs. They’re all over the place. When Tom and Jerry find themselves homeless (don’t ask), they meet a dog and his best friend, a flea. Both are dressed in real clothes and look like they come from a completely different movie. The next animals we meet are a gang of tough cats, who are also clothed and look as different from Puggsy and Frankie da Flea as. they do from Tom & Jerry. They also look nothing like Mrs. Figg’s dog, an ugly creature so fat it can’t even walk. It’s like a bunch of rejects from other animation studios were brought together to help fill space.

There’s a lot to complain about if you've seen Tom and Jerry: The Movie. This does make it sort of fun to tear apart, though to do so you’ll have to waste your time by watching the movie. I can’t say I’m sorry I sat through this mess - the “We’ve got to have… money” scene is funny enough that I will treasure it - but I doubt you would feel the same. (April 23, 2021)

[sohotthateveryonedied]

I’m going on a plane ride tomorrow, would you happen to have any longer batfamily fics you could recommend off the top of your head? Preferably without unnecessary angst. Just one or two is fine, no need to work for it! And thx if u do!

i don't have a ton of long fics saved tbh, but here's what i found in my bookmarks:

Can't Stay Down (a Documentary) by SonoSvegliato

Tim has a thrilling time after a tonsillectomy. Nat Geo Wild ensues.

(tim gets his tonsils out and it's HILARIOUS, i come back to this one so often it's amazing)

Robins and Other Flightless Birds by Ionaperidot

It begins with another Bruce, looking around his cave and asking, “So where are the kids?”

Bruce has never thought about having a family before. But once the idea occurs to him, it's hard to think about anything else.

(i'll be honest i never got around to finishing this one, but the beginning chapters are SO cool and cute)

Things My Heart Used to Know by poisonivory

Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne's beloved adopted son, was kidnapped when he was fifteen. He was never found.

Six years later, Roy Harper runs across a very familiar face, three thousand miles from Gotham. "Jay" has no last name, no memory, and no reason to believe he's a potential heir to Gotham's largest fortune. But with Bruce Wayne offering a five million dollar reward to anyone who can bring his son home, Roy and Jay figure it might be worth teaming up to claim the money, even if Jay is only a fraud.

Of course, if he's not a fraud, then things have just gotten a lot more complicated...

(god. this fic. it's not batfamily but i LOVE jason in this story, the whole thing is fantastic)

Running Headlong into My Arms by gleesquid

Bruce doesn’t like to credit one thing for saving his life, but if he did, it would be Haly’s Circus that Friday night in September, just as summer was beginning to die.

(He'll always be a sucker for kids with sad eyes, no parents, and more fight than the world knows what to do with.)

Or: in a universe where superheroes don't exist, Bruce Wayne finds his family.

(this is another super cute one, i keep coming back to reread it constantly)

I Was Lost For You to Find by Sohotthateveryonedied

Bruce never planned on having kids. After watching his parents die, the idea of starting a family of his own was foolishness at best and an impending disaster at worst. Never in his wildest dreams did Bruce think he'd ever be up to the task of raising a child, and he was okay with that. But when an orphaned acrobat starts weighing on his mind, Bruce makes the (questionable) decision to become a foster father. Everything after that is just dumb luck.

(yes i'm plugging my own fics because this is america and i can be as shameless as i want and also i ran out of recs lmao)

And Now I'm Covered in the Colors, Pulled Apart at the Seams by Sohotthateveryonedied

Alternate universe in which we gather soul strings as we fall in love, with different colors representing the different kinds of love you experience over time. Tim has loved and lost so many times over the years that, as rare as it is to find someone who actually loves him back, his strings are mangled like barbed wire. What's the point of loving if it only ends in heartache?

(Or: Tim’s experience with love, a story told in snapshots.)

[samwisethewitch]

Cults? In my life? It’s more likely than you think.

In my last post, I talked about how the Law of Attraction and Christian prosperity gospel both use the same thought control techniques as cults. I’ve received several public and private replies to that post: some expressing contempt for “sheeple” who can be lead astray by cults, and others who say my post made them scared that they might be part of a cult without knowing it.

I want to address both of those types of replies in this post. I want to talk about what a cult really looks like, and how you can know if you’re dealing with one.

If you type the word “cult” into Google Images, it will bring up lots of photos of people with long hair, wearing all white, with their hands raised in an expression of ecstasy.

Most modern cults do not look anything like this.

Modern cultists look a lot like everyone else. One of the primary goals of most cults is recruitment, and it’s hard to get people to join your cause if they think you and your group are all Kool-Aid-drinking weirdos. The cults that last are the ones that manage to convince people that they’re just like everyone else — a little weird maybe, but certainly not dangerous.

In the book The Road to Jonestown: Jim Jones and Peoples Temple, author Jeff Guinn says, “In years to come, Jim Jones would frequently be compared to murderous demagogues such as Adolf Hitler and Charles Manson. These comparisons completely misinterpret, and historically misrepresent, the initial appeal of Jim Jones to members of Peoples Temple. Jones attracted followers by appealing to their better instincts.”

You might not know Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple by name, but you’ve probably heard their story. They’re the Kool-Aid drinkers I mentioned earlier. Jones and over 900 of his followers, including children, committed mass suicide by drinking Flavor Aid mixed with cyanide.

In a way, the cartoonish image of cults in popular media has helped real-life cults to stay under the radar and slip through people’s defenses.

In her book Recovering Agency: Lifting the Veil of Mormon Mind Control, Luna Lindsey says: “These groups use a legion of persuasive techniques in unison, techniques that strip away the personality to build up a new group pseudopersonality. New members know very little about the group’s purpose, and most expectations remain unrevealed. People become deeply involved, sacrificing vast amounts of time and money, and investing emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and socially.”

Let’s address some more common myths about cults:

Myth #1: All cults are Satanic or occult in nature. This mostly comes from conservative Christians, who may believe that all non-Christian religions are inherently cultish in nature and are in league with the Devil. This is not the case — most non-Christians don’t even believe in the Devil, much less want to sign away their souls to him. Many cults use Christian theology to recruit members, and some of these groups (Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, etc.) have become popular enough to be recognized as legitimate religions. Most cults have nothing to do with magic or the occult.

Myth #2: All cults are religious. This is also false. While some cults do use religion to recruit members or push an agenda, many cults have no religious or spiritual element. Political cults are those founded around a specific political ideology. Author and cult researcher Janja Lalich is a former member of an American political cult founded on the principles of Marxism. There are also “cults of personality” built around political figures and celebrities, such as Adolf Hitler, Chairman Mao, and Donald Trump. In these cases, the cult is built around hero worship of the leader — it doesn’t really matter what the leader believes or does.

Myth #3: All cults are small fringe groups. Cults can be any size. Some cults have only a handful of members — it’s even possible for parents to use thought control techniques on their children, essentially creating a cult that consists of a single family.  There are some cults that have millions of members (see previous note about Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses).

Myth #4: All cults live on isolated compounds away from mainstream society. While it is true that all cults isolate their members from the outside world, very few modern cults use physical isolation. Many cults employ social isolation, which makes members feel separate from mainstream society. Some cults do this by encouraging their followers to be “In the world but not of the world,” or encouraging them to keep themselves “pure.”

Myth #5: Only stupid, gullible, and/or mentally ill people join cults. Actually, according to Luna Lindsey, the average cult member is of above-average intelligence. As cult expert Steven Hassan points out, “Cults intentionally recruit ‘valuable’ people—they go after those who are intelligent, caring, and motivated. Most cults do not want to be burdened by unintelligent people with serious emotional or physical problems.” The idea that only stupid or gullible people fall for thought control is very dangerous, because it reinforces the idea that “it could never happen to me.” This actually prevents intelligent people from thinking critically about the information they’re consuming and the groups they’re associating with, which makes them easier targets for cult recruitment.

So, now that we have a better idea of what a cult actually looks like, how do you know if you or someone you know is in one?

A good rule of thumb is to compare the group’s actions and teachings to Steven Hassan’s BITE Model. Steven Hassan is an expert on cult psychology, and most cult researchers stand by this model. From Hassan’s website, freedomofmind.com: “Based on research and theory by Robert Jay Lifton, Margaret Singer, Edgar Schein, Louis Jolyon West, and others who studied brainwashing in Maoist China as well as cognitive dissonance theory by Leon Festinger, Steven Hassan developed the BITE Model to describe the specific methods that cults use to recruit and maintain control over people. ‘BITE’ stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control.”

Behavior Control may include…

Telling you how to behave, and enforcing behavior with rewards and punishments. (Rewards may be nonphysical concepts like “salvation” or “enlightenment,” or social rewards like group acceptance or an elevated status within the group. Punishments may also be nonphysical, like “damnation,” or may be social punishments like judgement from peers or removal from the group.)

Dictating where and with whom you live. (This includes pressure to move closer to other group members, even if you will be living separately.)

Controlling or restricting your sexuality. (Includes enforcing chastity or abstinence and/or coercion into non-consensual sex acts.)

Controlling your clothing or hairstyle. (Even if no one explicitly tells you, you may feel subtle pressure to look like the rest of the group.)

Restricting leisure time and activities. (This includes both demanding participation in frequent group activities and telling you how you should spend your free time.)

Requiring you to seek permission for major decisions. (Again, even if you don’t “need” permission, you may feel pressure to make decisions that will be accepted by the group.)

And more.

Information Control may include…

Withholding or distorting information. (This may manifest as levels of initiation, with only the “inner circle” or upper initiates being taught certain information.)

Forbidding members from speaking with ex-members or other critics.

Discouraging members from trusting any source of information that isn’t approved by the group’s leadership.

Forbidding members from sharing certain details of the group’s beliefs or practice with outsiders.

Using propaganda. (This includes “feel good” media that exists only to enforce the group’s message.)

Using information gained in confession or private conversation against you.

Gaslighting to make members doubt their own memory. (“I never said that,” “You’re remembering that wrong,” “You’re confused,” etc.)

Requiring you to report your thoughts, feelings, and activities to group leaders or superiors.

Encouraging you to spy on other group members and report their “misconduct.”

And more.

Thought Control may include…

Black and White, Us vs. Them, or Good vs. Evil thinking.

Requiring you to change part of your identity or take on a new name. (This includes only using last names, as well as titles like “Brother,” “Sister,” and “Elder.”)

Using loaded languages and cliches to stop complex thought. (This is the difference between calling someone a “former member” and calling the same person an “apostate” or “covenant breaker.”)

Inducing hypnotic or trance states including prayer, meditation, singing hymns, etc.

Using thought-stopping techniques to prevent critical thinking. (“If you ever find yourself doubting, say a prayer to distract yourself!”)

Allowing only positive thoughts or speech.

Rejecting rational analysis and criticism both from members and from those outside the group.

And more.

Emotional Control may include…

Inducing irrational fears and phobias, especially in connection with leaving the group. (This includes fear of damnation, fear of losing personal value, fear of persecution, etc.)

Labeling some emotions as evil, worldly, sinful, low-vibrational, or wrong.

Teaching techniques to keep yourself from feeling certain emotions like anger or sadness.

Promoting feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness. (This is often done by holding group members to impossible standards, such as being spiritually “pure” or being 100% happy all the time.)

Showering members and new recruits with positive attention — this is called “love bombing.” (This can be anything from expensive gifts to sexual favors to simply being really nice to newcomers.)

Shunning members who disobey orders or disbelieve the group’s teachings.

Teaching members that there is no happiness, peace, comfort, etc. outside of the group.

And more.

If a group ticks most or all of the boxes in any one of these categories, you need to do some serious thinking about whether or not that group is good for your mental health. If a group is doing all four of these, you’re definitely dealing with a cult and need to get out as soon as possible.

These techniques can also be used by individual people in one-on-one relationships. A relationship or friendship where someone tries to control your behavior, thoughts, or emotions is not healthy and, again, you need to get out as soon as possible.

Obviously, not all of these things are inherently bad. Meditation and prayer can be helpful on their own, and being nice to new people is common courtesy. The problem is when these acts become part of a bigger pattern, which enforces someone else’s control over your life.

A group that tries to tell you how to think or who to be is bad for your mental health, your personal relationships, and your sense of self. When in doubt, do what you think is best for you — and always be suspicious of people or groups who refuse to be criticized.

[kats-fic-recs]

Batman Fic Recs that made me feel something

Whether that was happiness or incredible sadness. Come find out :))

1) there but for the grace of god Words: 3,778 Chapter: 1/1 Rating: G

From a tumblr prompt.

AKA, "A Justice League fic where everyone argues about who's the most beautiful and intimidating sexy from the Big Three and everyone has valid points."

Ahhhhh this one is sosososo funny. I could not stop smiling as I read this

2) hit 'em up style

Steph, 3:29 PM:

need super tampons. it’s an emergency. can u please run to store? would owe you FOREVER

Awwww I loved Bruce's character in this

3) miss me? Words: 6010 Chapters: 1/1 Rating: T

Jason’s plan to observe his family’s reactions to his resurrection…does not go as intended.

I cried reading this but god is it beautiful. Pretty much everyone sees Jason and goes 'Oh im hallucinating again' *shrugs* and hes like 'y'all good'

4) shallow water blackout Words: 17,393 Chapters: 3/3 Rating: T

Tim is peacefully enjoying a lazy summer afternoon on the ocean, when something large and shark-like nudges the bottom of his boat.

It’s not a shark

I love this au so much and its really well written :))

5) Life in the Fast Lane Words: 5478 Chapters :1/1 Rating:

“So, let me get this straight,” Dick said, frowning, “You stole a car, kidnapped Tim, got in a high-speed chase, stole another car, fought a bunch of cartel members, and blew up a chop shop...all to get a minivan back?”

“First of all, Timothy was a willing participant,” Jason said, crossing his arms, “And when you put it like that, it sounds bad.”

“Jason, it sounds bad no matter how I put it!”

Jason and Tim bond over stealing a car in order to steal another car back

6) Feels More Like a Memory Words: 2,377 Chapters: 1/1 Rating: G

Ric gulps down the rest of the beer and gestures to the bartender for another. Then he holds out his hand. “I’m Ric, by the way. With a C.”

“Wally. With a W.”

“That’s a tragedy.”

“And Ric isn’t?

There are no words to describe how well-written this is and it actually made me feel really bad for Ric (suprisingly). I loved this

7) Things My Heart Used to Know Words:37,488 Chapters: 8/8 Rating: T

Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne's beloved adopted son, was kidnapped when he was fifteen. He was never found.

Six years later, Roy Harper runs across a very familiar face, three thousand miles from Gotham. "Jay" has no last name, no memory, and no reason to believe he's a potential heir to Gotham's largest fortune. But with Bruce Wayne offering a five million dollar reward to anyone who can bring his son home, Roy and Jay figure it might be worth teaming up to claim the money, even if Jay is only a fraud.

Of course, if he's not a fraud, then things have just gotten a lot more complicated...

Love LOVE this one so much. Also I would die for Lian

Annnnnnd thats it :)) What are some batman fics that you like?

[jay-in-chicago]

Know The Risk.

Summary: Jay knows sleeping with his CI is enough to get him fired, but when she’s needed for an job, Jay can’t handle it. Pairing: Jay Halstead x unnamed female character. Characters: Jay, Voight, Olinsky. Warnings: mentions of drug dealing, weapon threat (gun), the suggestion of sexual favours in exchange for work (incredibly brief and not in detail), brief mention of sex (with Jay). Words: 2092 A/N: I’m pretty nervous to be posting this, so I’ll hit post and then go and hide. While I’m not new to writing, I am new to writing for the Chicago world. Apologies if the characterisation isn’t correct, I’m still learning. Not BETA’d because this is my first time here, so all mistakes, errors and typos are completely my own.

This was a request from my patreon account.

Likes, reblogs and feedback makes me squeal with happiness.

______

Jay’s been on edge ever since she stepped out of the car and headed towards the meeting point. He’d personally wired her up as he’d tried to keep his cool. His fingers had worked meticulously, and he’d made sure the camera attached to her blouse button was hidden. They needed to see as well as hear but the thought of her going in there alone made bile rise.

“I thought you wanted to solve this case?” she’d questioned, staring him down as she’d ran her tongue over her teeth as she watched him fretting.

“I do but not at this expense.” He’d whispered back, thankful the mic wasn’t live yet. To the rest of the team, she was simply one of Jay’s informants, nothing more than that. He had a few, mostly men but there were a few women who he could call on for a favour, though she’s the only one who had managed to get under his skin. She’d left such an impression on him that he couldn’t get her off his mind.

“Admit it,” she’d grinned at him, “if you weren’t milking me for information every opportunity you have, you’d be trying to get something else out of me.” He’d held out as long as he possibly could before she’d been invited to his apartment, the two of them finally giving in to what has been building for months. Jay had taken her with such relish, desperate to savour every moment of it not thinking for a moment it would be repeated.

But it had. That first time had unlocked something within the two of them, making them unable to resist one another. They’d find a way to have the conversations at either hers or his, she’d tell him everything he needed to know with each swipe of his tongue. Jay made sure he learnt what she liked as quickly as possible. He didn’t have an ego outside of the bedroom and ensured that it stayed the same inside of it but he couldn’t help it. The more she gave him, the more he wanted to take. The more he needed to take.

She’d have given him the information regardless but the coaxing, slow drawing of it, the way she’d withhold details unless he gave her an orgasm was all part of their foreplay. And for every arrest made, every case closed thanks to her, she was rewarded with even more. When Jay reached out to her about this case, she had the right connections, provided details and information that proved to be vital. She’d managed to worm her way in, met their main suspect a few times and managed to get close to being trusted as an outsider could, enabling her to be able to slip between members without being stopped. Or at least not initially.

Which is why she was the perfect candidate for heading in there tonight. Jay sits with headphones on, eyes barely moving from the screen. He hates every word that comes from her mouth. He knows she’s putting it on, but the seductive tone to it makes his cock stir against his wishes, the words should be making him shrink back against the seat in which he sits. She’s flirting with whoever she needs, their faces show the level of interest in her, the way they lick their lips as they drag their gaze down her body and wipe their thumb over the corner of their mouth as they chuckle and click their tongue.

She slipped through the crowd, searching for the one who they’d shown her the picture of until finally he came into view on the camera. Jay felt his body tense up, watching everything unfold on the screen before him. He’d seen what happened to people who got in his way, they were either in the ground or in the morgue and one wrong thing said, one tone off, one nervous hesitation and he’d know. The last thing Jay wanted was to watch her be taken down in front of his eyes, recorded for evidence and to be used whenever needed. The thought of it turned his stomach, had him biting at his nails with anxiety until he was sitting forward, his eyes widening as Darius played straight into her hand.

Jay knew better than anyone how good she was. She played the part incredibly well, and though he knew how she appeared to others, he was the one who saw her for who she really was. The version playing out on the screen for the team to see right now, that was flawless acting. Olinsky and Voight have exchanged glances at one another, muttered under their breath no doubt not wanting Jay to hear but he has. They comment on the way she held her cool, how convincing she appeared and how if they hadn’t had a conversation with her prior to sending her in there, they’d have believed her act. Pride licks at the edges of the raw anxiety ridden wound that festered with each passing minute.

“So you’re the one I’ve been hearin’ ‘bout?” his voice could be heard over the music, the way he looked at her made Jay’s stomach turn.

“depends what you’ve been hearing.”

His tongue slipped over his lips as he’d opened his legs, his hand resting against his inner thigh, the opposite leg swings open and closed as he watched her. “that you know someone who can take twenty keys and make me a lotta money.”

“That’s enough, we can get her out now, right?” Jay asked, moving the headset from one ear to look at Voight.

“Not yet,” his husky tone remained steady as his eyes stayed fixed on the screen.

“He just adm-”

“He didn’t admit anything. We need something concrete before we bust in there and mess up the whole thing.”

Jay clenched his jaw, kept listening and waiting impatiently for Darius to say something which could be used. He wasn’t a praying man but sitting there, with the screen having his full attention and her safety fully on his mind? Yeah, Jay was praying.

“listen yeah? Imma let your guy sell 8. See how that shifts. See if I can trust him.” Darius talks slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. What he means by trusting her buying is also seeing if he could trust her too. Jay knows how this works. You tell a small secret, or a lie, see what happens with it. Build it up until you decide if you can trust a person. If she delivers him the money for 8 and keeps the money coming in, she can be trusted with more product. “After that, we’ll look at somethin’ bigger yeah?”

Darius’s gaze drops down her body, takes in the curves of her body, the ones that Jay knows too well. His blood boils but he forces his hand to remain relaxed. If he clenched his hand, showed his emotion which could be taken exactly for what it is, he’d be packing his desk in a box and walked out of the building before the ink had dried on his paperwork.

Come on you son of a bitch, give me one good reason not to land a punch on you the second I get my hands on you.

“Like what?”

“Look at you thinkin’ big.” He runs his tongue back over his lips as he watches her. “I like the way your mind works. How bout that mouth?”

“What about it?”

“Wanna taste somethin’ on mine? You gonna be sellin’ it, don’t you wanna taste first? See how good it is” he asks, the fingers of the hand that rests against his thigh drums over his clothes.

“You’re giving me a freebie?”

“Bitch, ain’t nothing free here.” He scoffs, unable to believe she really asked that. “You want my H? You gotta show me how much you want it.” His hand moves, fingers tracing over his belt, snapping it open in one fluid motion. The explanation clear.

“We go now.” Voight’s voice rings out behind Jay. His headset is snapped away from him within seconds and he’s on his feet, out of the van with the others following.

___

“Jay?” Neither have really said a word since they got back to the precinct. She wanted to, was desperate to fill the silence with mindless chatter like they would usually but the look on his face tells her he’d rather have this than talk. “Jay.” She tries again and only now do his light eyes flicker up to her face. His hands still work, removing her wires, her camera and anything else which could pick the two of them up. Anything which could be used against them. “Are you not going to say anything?”

“I will once my heart leaves my throat.”

“I did ok though, right? You’d use me again.”

“You terrified me half to death, that’s what you did.”

“But did I do ok?”

He sighs, locks his jaw and stares at her as his hands drop to his side, the devices tightly fixed in his fist. “You did and that’s the problem.”

Her brow furrows, “pro-”

“Yes, problem. Do you realise how convincing you were? If we hadn’t come in when we had? He could’ve-”

“but he didn’t.”

“But he could have.”

“I knew the risk when I agreed to do this.” She lifts her face, angles her chin defiantly at him.

“So did I but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about the way he was or how it was playing out.” Turning his back briefly to put the device into the box it came from, he can’t wipe the memory of the camera from his mind.

They’re downstairs, away from security cameras, away from mics; the only two in that area are the ones Jay has just disconnected and put away. Alone, with no footsteps approaching, she steps forward and pulls him into a hug. “I’m fine. You came at exactly the right time. Maybe if you came in minutes after? That could have been a different story. Look at me, he barely touched me.” She says, ignoring the way her head throbs at the memory of how he’d grabbed her hair so tightly she thought he planned to rip clumps from her scalp as he’d dragged her to her feet and held a gun to her temple, using her as a shield. Her heart rate had only just calmed but the intense way that Jay stared at her made it pick up a little more. “I’m ok because of you.”

“But if I hadn’t.” His voice cracks a little and that one sound? That one sound breaks her.

“Hey,” moving his hand, she presses it against her chest, “see, I’m alive because of you and your team. Don’t beat yourself up over what could be. I’m here. Unhurt. And I’d do it again if it meant I could be of use to you.”

“Your information helps enough. I don’t need you almost getting attacked or killed just so we can take someone down. There are other ways.”

“If it wasn’t me in that position Jay, it would have been someone else. Would you have felt better having someone else have that gun pressed against their head just because it wasn’t me? Because I wouldn’t.”

When he says nothing, just continues to stare at her, she nuzzles her nose against his jaw, over his throat before pressing her lips to him, feeling the rough stubble as it grazes against her soft skin. “You’re feeling this because you acted as you should.” she presses more kisses, up the underside of his jaw and finally over the curve of it, her lips dragging towards his lips until he finally moves, dipping his face to meet her lips with his own and kisses her with all the pent up emotion he’d been keeping in, now barely to hold himself back after just a taste of her again.

“We can’t do this here.” He groans, forcing himself to pull away from her. Her eyes are dilating, her chest rises and falls from the rapid breathing. “You know where the spare key is for my place right? I’ll meet you there. You need to go now before I take you into the supply closet and get fired.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I’m naked.” She says, stepping towards him and pulling his lip between her teeth, nibbling on it just enough to draw a long groan from him before letting it go with a satisfying pop.

[newmusickarl]

Album & EP Recommendations

If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power by Halsey

Halsey’s evolution across her career has been quite something to witness. Having begun her career in pure pop territory, her artistry has developed over time with each new record seeing the American singer-songwriter up the ambition and scope of her music. Now with this her fourth album, Halsey has gone bigger than ever, teaming up with Nine Inch Nails members and Oscar-winning composers Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for her boldest work to date.

Produced entirely by Reznor and Ross, Halsey describes this new record as “a concept album about the joys and horrors of pregnancy and childbirth.” Naturally with any concept record there is going to be a cinematic feel, however Halsey has gone one step further and even delivered a full theatrical film to accompany the album, the trailer for which you can watch above. Although I am yet to see the film, there is no doubt that the musical portion is a mightily ambitious and accomplished project, with each song seamlessly segueing into the next despite the array of styles and genres across each track.

It may still be a pop record at the heart, but with the masterful touch of Reznor and Ross, Halsey also brings in some industrial rock elements, as well as a bit of pop punk in places too. However, it is not just sonically that Halsey pushes the boundaries but also thematically as well, using the album’s concept to press the issue of feminism and misogyny within the lyrics. Arguably what’s most striking about this record though is how tightly constructed everything is here – under the watchful eye of Reznor and Ross, the dramatic production is inch-perfect.

Most importantly, the songs here are just fantastic, from the religious imagery and glistening synths that lace the wonderful melody of Bells of Santa Fe, to the raw, grungy guitars of You asked for this. There’s also the atmospheric piano ballad 1121, where Halsey really flexes her impressive vocal cords. Pulsating, stylish electro-pop single I am not a woman, I’m a god is another standout. Once you have been amazed by all of this, the gentle plucking and raindrop like xylophone of stunning closer Ya’aburnee arrives to really blow things away.

In a year packed full of outstanding pop records, Halsey has delivered, for my money, one of the best of the lot. With Reznor and Ross holding the reigns, they help Halsey deliver on her epic vision with both style and control. It’s one thing to attempt a record like this, it’s another thing to pull it off as expertly and vibrantly as this – hats off for this one!

Listen here

Screen Violence by CHVRCHES

Also delivering their fourth album this week was Scottish synth-pop group CHVRCHES who, whilst predominantly maintaining their vintage sound, have lyrically pushed themselves into darker territory on this new record. Probably their finest work since their debut, frontwoman Lauren Mayberry takes no prisoners as she tackles sexism and misogyny, calling upon her own experiences within the industry to really illustrate the issues being put front and centre.  

This is highlighted best on electric single Good Girls, a track Mayberry wrote “after listening to some friends arguing about the present-day implications of loving certain problematic male artists – I was struck by the lengths that people would go to in order to excuse their heroes and how that was so juxtaposed to my own experiences in the world.”

Other highlights include He Said She Said, a glistening synth-driven pop banger that’s contrasted against razor-sharp lyrics with a defiant message at its core – catchy, but also powerful and thought-provoking. There’s also the superb collaboration with The Cure legend Robert Smith, How Not to Drown, which is a moody, atmospheric, and synth-soaked belter of a track. Although it is incredible right the way through, the real spine-tingling moment comes during the song’s outro thanks to the ghostly vocals of Smith being cast over some hauntingly melodic guitars. Outside of the singles, the rawness of heartbreaking closer Better If You Don’t leaves the biggest impression.

All in all, this album ranks amongst their best work and although it may not be quite as dramatic or impressionable as Halsey’s album, there’s still plenty to which you’ll want to digest and ultimately keep returning.

Listen here

How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last? By Big Red Machine

The National’s Aaron Dessner and Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon have certainly kept themselves busy over lockdown. It seems they weren’t satisfied with just taking Taylor Swift’s music to incredible new heights on 2020’s folklore and evermore, as they have now also released their second album under their Big Red Machine guise. The most noticeable thing about this second record is that the duo have extended their collaboration further this time around, bringing in renowned artists such as Ben Howard, Sharon Van Etten, Lisa Hannigan and Fleet Foxes, as well as two more collaborations with Miss Swift herself.

Given the talent involved, it is no surprise that this makes for a really special and stunning collection of songs. There’s wonderful electro-folk track Mimi, which sees singer-songwriter Ilsey Juber join Justin Vernon on lead vocal duties. Phoenix sees Robin Pecknold of Fleet Foxes and Anaïs Mitchell join in for a wonderful, horn-backed number. This track in fact isn’t the only time Anaïs Mitchell steals the show, as her beautiful, soothing vocal performances on opener Latter Days and closer New Auburn arguably provide the two best moments of the entire album.

The two tracks with Taylor Swift are also fantastic, with Renegade offering a sweet, pop cut that wouldn’t be out of place on either of Swift’s last two records. The better of the two though is Birch, a piano-driven, string-tinged ballad which sees Swift simply providing back-up vocals to Vernon’s haunting folky croons. It’s stunning and possibly my new favourite collaboration between the three artists.

Ultimately this is just a superb album, with Dessner and Vernon thriving alongside their chosen collaborators for a collection of songs that will frequently both move and astound you.

Listen here

Donda by Kanye West

Easily the most talked about album of the week, after several launch events and many, many delays, Kanye West finally released his long-awaited tenth studio album, Donda. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am not a fan of excessive, bloated albums, so with Donda clocking in at almost 2 hours long it was always going to struggle to win me over.

As expected, this is another West project that struggles with inconsistency, with moments of brilliance balanced out with plenty of moments that ultimately underwhelm. Although it has more high points than Ye and the production is more polished than Jesus Is King, there is no track as good as Ghost Town and sonically I found it less inspired than Jesus Is King in many ways. I’m not sure just yet if this is indeed the worst West album, but it is certainly down there in the bottom half for me.

That said, there are still some great moments to be found here. Once you get passed the massively irritating Donda Chant opener (honestly, so painful!), the Jay-Z featuring Jail offers an anthemic rock-influenced gem to get the album started properly. From there The Weeknd featuring Hurricane, the Lauryn Hill sampling Believe What I Say, the heavenly melody of Kid Cudi feature Moon and the organ-backed closer No Child Left Behind provide some of the other highlights. However possibly the finest moment comes in the form of Jesus Lord, a 9-minute epic that sees West deliver some of his best bars in years, returning to the social-consciousness that made him a star in the first place.

If you are a fan of West’s recent gospel-influenced work, then this album will reward you for your patience if you stick with it. For me, although there are some moments I enjoyed, the length was just too much, with this album having the same inconsistency problem that The Life of Pablo had but without reaching the same heights as that album did when it was at its best. Disappointing, but still somewhat worthwhile.

Listen here

The Awesome Album by Mouse Rat

And finally on the albums front, if like me you are a big Parks & Recreation fan, you’ll be pleased to hear that Chris Pratt’s fictional band from the show, Mouse Rat, have finally released their debut album this week. Featuring classics such as 5,000 Candle In The Wind and The Pit, this one is a lot of fun for fans of the show.

Listen here

Tracks of the Week

Good Ones by Charli XCX

Coming off the back of the definitive lockdown album How I’m Feeling Now that earned her both a Mercury Prize nomination and a place in my Top 5 albums of 2020, Charli XCX has returned with a new synth-driven banger that packs in an insanely catchy hook and wonderful 80s vibes.

Listen here

Family Ties by Baby Keem & Kendrick Lamar

Also making his return this week was King Kendrick who delivered a fantastic new collaboration with his cousin Baby Keem. Over a brilliant horn-driven beat, the two family members go toe-to-toe and bar-to-bar across this concise hip-hop banger.

Listen here

Alone by Rag N Bone Man & Nothing But Thieves

A remix of a track from Rory Graham’s latest album Life By Misadventure, this version sees Conor Mason of Nothing But Thieves join in on vocals, along with some triumphant rock production that replaces the stripped back nature of the album cut.

Listen here

Spirit Power & Soul by Johnny Marr

The brilliant first track from his forthcoming new EP, Spirit Power & Soul finds legendary guitarist Johnny Marr in fine form, sonically calling back to his days with Bernard Sumner in Electronic. Built on a masterful central riff, pulsating synths and a big anthemic chorus, it’s a belter!

Listen here

Nothing Else Matters by Chris Stapleton

And finally this week, we’ve had plenty of great, unique covers of Nothing Else Matters by Metallica already this year, with Miley Cyrus and Phoebe Bridgers already offering their own take on the classic song. However, I’ve always got time for another and this 8-minute epic from country singer Chris Stapleton is just as dazzling, thanks to some amazing bluesy guitars and his textured vocal performance.

Listen here

[dog-day-morning]

The word of God tells us we shall suffer for the cause of Christ, he who seeks a greater reward must attain a greater faith. Unto whom much is given that much more is required. You wanna eat that whole caramel cake, you crave that sweet tea, you pursue that woman in a nightclub hoping to get her in a compromised position, face down tail up because face it, we're not willing to bow down to the will of God, but we’re so happy, and ready to give in to that round mound of doo doo brown. The 3 Hebrew boys Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego went into the fiery furnace defying Nebuchadnezzar's declaration to worship him. These men had the inspiration, strength, and courage to say, even if He doesn't deliver us, we know that He can. That kind of faith is called perfected faith. We can be lazy because we refuse to work with what God gave us before the day of calamity comes to devour us. Tribulation is kicking into high gear, and many of God’s people are none the wiser. There are people who were working 3 jobs before, and after this pandemic became a global concern who know what is on the horizon. You don't need an Issachar spirit to discern the times; read the Bible. He also said to the crowds, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, you say at once, ‘A shower is coming.’ And so it happens. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, ‘There will be scorching heat,’ and it happens. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time? The gov't has pulled back on unemployment benefits forcing many to find a job. The 2 righteous servants in the parable of the 3 servants increased the wealth of their employer who trusted 3 men with different amounts of talents [money], and the 1 who didn't work diligently for his master inherited weeping, and gnashing of teeth. God invested in us, and He expected a greater return from this major investment. Jesus was the greatest financial venture ever made. The Father placed His faith in His Son who in turn gave Him many more sons that walk amongst us waiting for the Day of Judgment. This investment which supersedes all, but are intertwined will never decrease, and forever increase. The 144,000 isn't a spiritually inspired interpretation based on mine, and Mima getting the Holy Ghost or having an encounter with the Holy Spirit to speak in tongues. Sit down grandma, your Depends are leaking brown stuff that reeks of formaldehyde, and raw chitlins. God is looking for a righteous Nation to worship Him not themselves. These men, and boys who represent the 12 tribes of Israel have never been defiled by women, and hopefully not by men either. You lucky mother You can take the word literally or as a misinterpretation. Those who don't believe in the written word who believe that God's word isn't infallible aren't all to blame for this heresy. Those who originally interpreted the King James Bible added to, and took from are suffering for a misleading interpretation. The prophetic which God didn't let man corrupt altogether has pretty much played out verbatim. We may be dying to a world that is trying to kill our faith that God has no intention of doing until He finds His true worshippers, and He’ll never destroy one's faith in Him. Winter is coming and you and I must be prepared. We must live like today is our last without being caught up in fear. I'm suffering from a form of laziness called jackass. God shall supply all your needs, but faith without works is dead. The ant has the intuition to work throughout the Summer knowing that Winter is coming. A lot of these drones won't live to see the finished product. Ant mounds look like the Pyramids of Giza that secure the Queen, but where is the King? They serve the one who gives life that sustains the colony, she is their goddess, but what happens if the Queen dies? There's more than one Queen serving the colony who can breed an entire colony independent of one other. fulfilling their role while working together in unison with the others who all serve a greater purpose. This

is a major element that drives the Kingdome of heaven. Christ is just like His Father In the Kingdome that includes the Holy Spirit which they will pour upon all flesh again soon. There are no cowards or sinners in the Kingdome. The angels are not as drones, they are blessed warriors.

Revelation 21:8

8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

1 Corinthians 6:8-10

8 Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Alkebulan we need to wake up and get right. Black American's of the tribes of Judah, Gad, Reuben, and Issachar you need to aim at my forehead, and scatter my scatter brained grey matter all over the pavement. When Joe Biden told a radio podcaster if you don't vote for me you're not Black, he must be color blind. This vaccine that suspiciously looks like the Mark of Whodunnit. They can plant a microchip in your arm that can track your every move, financial transaction, and possibly your dreams while you sleep. Some Walmart stores are refusing to take cash when you check out; they only take debit, and credit cards. These are signs that we’re living in the End Times. The Last Days. I'm looking at this as a sign to get the hell outta this city, and decompose. What in God's name am I afraid of? Jesus took a beat down like a man on a mission.. You're not weak or simping if you gave your life for a people you fed, healed, gave sight to, preached to, taught them a new way to live, pray, love, told them about a Kingdome greater than Jerusalem, and you didn't kill anybody in the process knowing what they were going to do to your physical body in an almost retarded like bid to destroy their salvation. I've done none of that; my bad. Stop looking for men, especially zaddy to deliver us. “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” Some of us foolheartedly called Bill Clinton the first Black president when he's not, never can, or will be to me in any sense, Barack wasn't either. Thomas Jefferson, the third elected president, who served two terms between 1801 and 1809 was described as the “son of a half-breed Indian squaw (Black) and a Virginia mulatto father (Black).” Abraham Lincoln, the nation’s 16th president, served between 1861, and 1865. Lincoln had very dark skin, and coarse hair and his mother allegedly came from an Ethiopian tribe. His heritage fueled so much controversy that Lincoln was nicknamed “Abraham Africanus the First” by his presidential opponents and cartoons were drawn depicting him as a Negro. Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Dwight David Eisenhower, and the scourge of the South Andrew Jackson were all n**gahs. I’ll see you come Hanukkah you self-hating black, Uncle Ruckus’s. I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, why should I be overjoyed about the genocide, and enslavement of God's people? Christmas is what it is. Hopefully you will celebrate this holiday season together fulfilling God's prophetic word. I can't unless you kill me. The Christmas holiday is as pagan as Joel Osteen is at scamming. David Duke, you might wanna go to ancestry.com, and take a DNA test. You might be 30% Swahili. By the looks of those big, gorilla nostrals you had before that rhinoplasty. You, and Bull Connor may be related to Idi Amin. Your biggest shame is your greatest blessing. Personally you can kiss the skid marks in the middle of my skid marks after I take a fresh dump. Conservative, political pundits, and wannabes whose names I won't mention, but one in particular who looks like he smoked 23 blunts in 15min. with no filter. Please keep him in California, and let him drown with his zaddy, and pancaked tail, bowed hipped women. Use your lips as a floatation device dude. These people are ashamed of the God who has blessed many, and plenty. These people suffer, hopefully not always, from the white savior or white zaddy complex. The truth isn't in any of them, that's why they're so adept at lying when making bold-faced statements before the public that opposes their previous opinion like people don’t have YouTube or google. I’ll Bing a factoid or Yahoo that mother to get the truth I may even pay for it, gimme a dollar. My inability to walk amongst men as a man has stagnated my propensity to live That's BS, my Apostle said something this past Sunday that's stuck on my forehead. YOU'RE LAZY!!! I am what I am, a pain in the rear end. This has gone on way too long. Sometimes

I feel as though God wants me to kill myself because the PO PO won’t. I would feel better if my natural family would stab me in the neck, not my back, with a piece of diseased, pork, spare rib from a boar hog, and let me die from a rare form of trichinosis. The people have spoken while I’m playing Jay, and Silent Bob. Father, get me outta here. Elohim, 9/16/2021

[royalsunshinehotel]

Clinomania (Jay Menha x f!reader, 18+)

Warnings: sex work (exotic dancing), unprotected p/v sex, public sex, Jay’s possessive ​

“It’s not fair.” 

 Pixie snorts as you spill your guts to her in the dressing room. The girls are always busy, no matter what time of day. In a way, you wanted to be one of them, you’d always have something to talk about. They’re stunning, you are too. 

“The way he’s been staring at your ass for six months,” you huff, leaning back in the chair, “it’s just rude that he’s not trying to be with you.” Pixie dramatically snaps her compact shut, and fluffs her hair in the mirror.

“That’s what I thought too? I mean maybe he likes men?” She turns to you, one perfect eyebrow arched, “or both, and he’s just trying to figure it out.”

“Those statements are tragic,” you huff again, maybe Jay just didn’t like you like that, and you’re trying to rationalize it. Your head is spinning trying to find an answer, so Pixie reaches over and pinches your arm. “Think positive.”

You jump, right out of your daydreams, back into your body.

“Maybe just focus somewhere else tonight.” She turns and looks at you dead in the face, something she almost never did,” You made your move, let him make his.”

“...Okay.” Pixie, god bless her, was right about this stuff. You’re not on the main stage tonight, which you’re grateful for. She always steals the show. 

She takes a coil of her hair and places it elsewhere, as if work wouldn’t trash it all. 

“Break a leg.” She adjusts her chest in her cornflower blue bodice. If she wasn’t so nice, you’d hate her.

“Always.” 

You link your pinkies before you hop out of the chair and head out on the floor. 

“It will all shake out like it needs to.”

“Promise?” You mope, legs pulled up on your salon chair.

She leans over to smack you in the arm, “I promise.” 

xx

It’s about halfway into your shift, and it already feels too long. It was so stupid. You’re not a goddamn teenager, and yet here you are trying not to stare at him. 

He’s over in a dark corner, looking like he’s aware of everything. You’d never met somebody who appeared so paranoid, yet so put together.  

You’re working the floor tonight, and it’s been okay. Usually you can put on your persona and find a way to have fun, but it’s not happening. You’re missing the mark and it’s costing you money.

You’ll live though, you always do. 

You currently wanted to stare at him all night, but you need money. France had been a bold move on your part, but it was time to go, with or without him. 

Jay’s not looking at you. He’s watching another corner of the club. You’re watching him and he’s watching somewhere else. How poetic. 

You’re jerked from your staring by your least favorite person.

“Hey Honey!” Ugh, Peter. 

“Give us a dance!” Peter was a fat little man from the UK. This was his second month on “vacation”, but due to your internet access, you knew he was wanted in his home country for tax fraud. If there was a reward involved, you would have turned him in. 

Peter liked it when you were mean to him, but tonight’s not the night. He’s surrounded by empty glasses. He could have built a castle if he wanted. 

The round little man puckered his lips and pulled on you harder. 

“Peter, let go of my arm.” You kept your tone cool, even if his grip was starting to dig. Why do the worst men never cut their nails?

“Give us chat sweets!” 

You’d been grabbed at, groped, pulled before, and the feeling of rage and fear worms into your chest and sits there for days. The anxiety that follows is nearly murder. 

You don’t want to call for him, and you don’t have to. Like a shadow, he emerges, takes Peter by the neck, and drags him out. Peter was drunk and overweight, and yet Jay makes it look easy. 

Peter’s face down in the dirty street  in less than a minute. 

Jay’s back in less than two. 

“Alright?”

“Yeah, thanks for that.” You’re slowly leaning forward, hands on your knees.

He just nods in response. Jay’s eyes shifted to Pixie, who showed up out of nowhere. 

“What the hell was that?” She must have pole-vaulted off the stage.

”Are you okay!?” No.

“Yeah I’m good.” You want to burst into tears, but you don’t like to cry in front of people. Does that count as a move? Was that sexy?

“I have no idea what to tell you.” She wraps you in a tight hug, rubbing your back. 

The bathroom wasn’t that bad though. You’d worked in a handful of clubs before, and this was the best you’d seen. The lights were dim, and the thumping music was distant, and it was also semi-clean.

“It’s okay.” Her voice is nearly quiet, she adjusts a curl of your hair when she pulls away.

“I need to step out for a second.” Your eyes are wet, you can’t cry at work.

“Sure, take your time!” Pixe chirps, not the ideal tone at the moment.

You shuffle towards the ladies room, keeping your eyes on the floor. It was all too overstimulating, you shouldn’t have come in tonight. It was all a massive mistake. 

Perfect. 

You’re breathing heavily, bent over the sink. You stretch the back of your legs, suddenly hating the fact you were wearing next to nothing. You feel gross. You feel tired. You want to leave. 

If it was any other night, you’d be able to walk this off. You’d be able to find a way to bounce back. Not today, you needed a second wind, but it wasn’t happening. Goddamn it. 

“YN?” A low voice comes from behind you, and he’s there in the mirror. His face is even, but his eyes aren’t. You quickly rub the makeup out from under your eyes and straighten up. 

You look down at your tight grip on the sink,“ Sometimes I just get sick of this.” Your voice sounds too thin and you hate it. 

“Thanks for that.” You stand up after splashing water on your face,” My hero.”

Something in Jay twitches, almost like he’s been shocked. 

“You’re alright?” 

Your pause is deafening as he takes a step towards you, looking at you both in the mirror. The gears were turning, but he stayed silent. It’s annoying. 

“You aren’t going to say anything?” You snap, giving him the side eye. 

“What’s there to say?” Jay keeps his distance, leaning back against the parallel wall, watching you through the mirror. 

You tilt your neck back up slowly, not wanting to look too closely at yourself, so you look at him. 

The lightbulbs in the bathroom needed to be changed, but between flickers, he looks good in the cold blue.

“Jay, why do you drive me home?” You’re dreading the answer, but you want to hear him say it. 

In the silence, your hesitation, he takes large steps towards you, examining you closely through the mirror. 

“Because I can.” 

You turn slowly towards him, realizing just how close he is, and it feels as if you can’t breathe. You don’t hear him breathe either. Ha.

He takes his shot, linking his fingers around you, pulling your hips towards him.

 You get to catch his groan in your mouth, and it feels too good. He’s sweet. 

He softly brushes your noses together, pausing for a  kiss you like he’s tasting you, like you’re his. 

The air in the club was cold and stale, and you jerk into him as he runs his warm hands over your skin. He seems determined to touch as much of you as possible, and he doesn’t grope or pinch like others have. 

There seems to be a shock before you pull back. 

He’s too much. 

You both pant for a moment. You could take a step back but you don’t. 

Jay’s eyes are screwed shut, and it takes a moment before he opens them. You hear him exhale sharply through his nose before taking a firm grip on your neck and forearm.

You’re a whining mess, leaning on him when he plants a kiss into your hair, pausing for a moment, eyes closed. He takes your chin, tilting it up to him. Jay stretches a thumb up, and runs it over your lips.

It’s too slow, and yet too fast. 

It’s not fair. 

“I’m off at one.” you whisper. Your heart suddenly beats loud in your ears, you're sure he could hear it over the music floating into the bathroom. 

“You’re done for the night,” Jay’s voice is hoarse and low. You’d normally argue, you’d throw a fit because you’re a brat. Okay, maybe not a brat, but stubborn. 

“What if I’m not?” 

He blinks. 

You take a grip on his wrist, pulling him towards a vacant stall. 

You’re getting brave because he won’t. There’s a pause between you two, your back pressed against a cold stone wall, his body blocking you from view of the door. 

He’s tall, imposing, and you don’t feel threatened in the slightest. Jay moves his hands to your waist, and you practically start humming. You half-close your eyes as you feel his soft beard on your cheek. Rough finger pads pulling your flimsy shirt off and hanging it up on the hook. 

There was a moment where it looked as if he was going to pull away, but you catch him, directing his hands to the bows keeping your bottom half covered. The flimsy scrap of fabric was the only thing keeping the two of you apart.

Jay leans down to you, face cold, covering his eyes from the dim light. You’re shaking and he puts a hand over your ribcage.

He lets you fiddle with his belt and pull him loose. 

“Ask,” he commands. Your heartbeat is too loud.

“Please.” your voice shakes lightly, but Jay catches it. 

His eyes don’t leave yours as he pulls the strings loose. 

He’s too warm, too close. 

Jay quickly and smoothly takes a grip on you and loops a leg around in a beautiful balancing act. 

“Jay.” you drag his name out as Jay doesn’t move, just presses against you.

You’re grinding into him and he’s giving you nothing. He’s teasing you and you hate him. 

You’re empty. You’re too goddamn empty.

He tilts your chin towards him, catching your moan in his mouth as he quickly pushes up into you. 

Jay paused for a moment, studying you intently as you adjusted to his size. Your pressure around him was delicious, but he’s distracted by how sweet you look, teary eyes, trying to be brave. 

“Too much?” He asks, pressing a soft kiss into your shoulder while you dig your nails into his back. 

He still needs an answer. He can’t continue without an answer. Jay’s grip on you tightens while he rests his forehead against yours. 

You’re taking too long, it hurts. 

You curl your legs around him tighter, pressing yourself against him, exposed. 

“More.” You whine, he smiles into your neck and starts slowly. 

He doesn’t mean to, but with each movement, sparks of pain lace up your spine.

There isn’t much else to focus on other than him, how he touches you, how he tastes, and he feels the same for you. Everything’s happening as it should, but something’s off.

You're biting your arm. He doesn’t like that. 

“Stop.” He firmly grasps your arm, pulling it away from your face. Jay’s face is cold again, and he thrusts harshly, earning a squeak, and taking advantage of your open mouth. 

You’re too sweet, and now he has you. 

If Jay was being honest, he could keep it up all night, but he has to keep an even head. 

“I want to hear you.” 

He asked so politely, so you let him. No more restricting anything, whines, moans, gasps, all free. 

His pace gets harder, rougher, just so he can enjoy watching your chest bounce. You’re about to break, your body tense, so he slows. 

Jay grips the side of your neck, pulling you to face him. 

“Still with me?” You can hardly focus with his grip on your pulse. Your not sure how you muster an answer. 

“Yeah.” You press your face into the crook of his neck, as if your trying to hide as you bare down around him. 

His grip never falters, and you hear a stream of curses and almost-compliments against your ear. 

Jay breathes deeply as he rights his pace. He wanted to give up, but the pretty sounds you were making for him were more than enough motivation. 

Your even more overwhelming up close. The glitter you have to wear sits on top of your skin and it occurs to Jay he’s never seen you without it. 

He bets your skin’s just as sweet as the rest of you. 

A little spark of pride flares in Jay’s chest. He’s making you get loud. Everyone even slightly sober in this damn club would know what you were letting him do to you. 

He’s a civilian now. He doesn’t need to be careful, he can be normal now. 

“You’re beautiful. So beautiful.” He presses the words into your neck steadily. His voice makes your body vibrate, and if you were coherent, you’d feel him smiling through the tickle of his beard. 

“Can you give me one more?” Your eyes are half-closed, but at this moment, there’s not much you wouldn’t do for him. 

“Okay,” you reply. Your voice sounds thin and far away, but sweet. You were so willing for him, it was going to drive him insane. He moves your wobbly hand to the side of his neck to try and keep you steady. 

Jay lets himself imagine what you’d be like in an actual bed. Your twisted up in knots underneath him, and he can see it as clearly as he sees you now. 

As if to take revenge against his own imagination, he leans down and greedily starts biting at your chest. A new feeling crawls on your skin as your heart rate begins to even. 

The balancing act the two of you were using was failing, but it didn’t seem important, as you bare down again and nothing matters. He’s lowered his thumb to your clit, massaging you firmly as you fall apart. 

You don’t want to stop. 

He pulls out slowly, and you hear him gasp against your ear. Your vision is a blurred mess, your various forms of glitter the culprit. 

Jay could tell. You register his warmth leaning into you, supporting you. 

“Good girl.” Your legs twitch at his words, and his grip on your ass tightens, if only for a moment. 

You’re smug. Maybe he left a mark. 

“Can you stand?” Jay asks softly as he slowly places both of your feet back on the ground. 

You nod and he loosens his grip, setting your weight down, but not letting you go. 

Your already cold, starting to shake. 

Everything is in painful focus. The leaking faucet outside the stall,  the clack of heels out in the hallway, and the way he’s breathing. 

You’ve just fucked someone in the handicapped stall in a Burlesque Club. 

He’d just pulled you apart and you loved every second of it. 

He’s looking at you like he’s going to eat you alive.

“Here.” Jay takes off his black zippered jacket. It’s got stripes running down the sleeves, as if you needed an excuse to look at his arms. He slowly directs your arms into the sleeves, pulling his jacket up around you. He let his hands graze your body as he zipped you up. 

You feel good. 

It’s all too real, too solid, being wrapped up like this. 

Jay’s warmth soaks into your bones. You lean into his touch, unaware that he’s struggling. 

Jay’s jaw is clenched, barely staving off thoughts creeping in. Try as he might, seeing you like this was making him get possessive. 

Your eyes are closed. Your leaning back against the wall. You arch your back in a stretch. The jacket cuts so his bite mark is on full display. 

He looks at you in his jacket with a half-smile. Your stunning, hair a mess, face flushed. The zip up jacket covering you is just enough to get out to his car. Your clear heels seem impractical with your shaking bambi legs. 

Your dripping down your thighs. He’d make sure no one got close enough to see. 

He did that. 

Jay’s supposed to move on from what he was, he’s supposed to be normal, but your supposed to be with him.

It’s not fair to you. You don’t even know anything about him. 

“I’ll take you home now.” Mine. 

You wouldn’t be able to walk without Jay’s hand on your back, your head’s spinning. The cold night air would have knocked you over if not for him. 

You both make it to the car in one piece.

[i-growl-growl-growl]

Mobile masterlist p.2

Since the first masterlist can no longer take any more sections, I’m attempting to make a second masterlist for those on mobile.

                                Super Junior reactions

they are jealous

accidentally kicked in the privates while wrestling

all the members are in love with the same 98 liner

Eunhyuk gets a vaccination

helping you recover from a Lecion

their partner has low self-esteem

                           BigBang reactions

His partner sells drugs to a celebrity

discovering their partner is a tazza

                            EXO reactions

1 Drying their patner’s hair after showers (fluff)

Being in the ER after their child attempts suicide (sad/triggering)

Their partner agrees to let them adopt children (fluff)

their child is diagnosed with ADHD (slice of life+drama/family)

Their unborn baby might be abnormal (slice of life+drama/family)

Their boyfriend wants to top (smut/sexual)

Their child comes out as transgender (slice of life+drama/family)

His partner proposes to him

His partner knows how to massage

Their partner denies that they are sick

They’re are in a Daddy/child age play relationship (smut/sexual)

Worrying about their pregnant partner overworking (angst)

Accidentally saying something about their secret relationship (dating)

Their child dies from cancer (sad/triggering)

Watching the filthy Frank show (viewing)

Watching John Cena vines (viewing)

Their partner continues to train with an abusive ballet teacher

Meeting a child who’s hiding from the doctors (fluff)

Having an overly attached partner

Hearing you sing TaTu’s songs (viewing)

Watching CL’s Hello Bitches video (viewing)

Their child shows them their self-harm scars (sad/triggering)

When their partner is the real sculptor of Rom muecks artwork (fictional)  

Visiting a horror house with their partner

Receiving another figging punishment but being consoled afterward (smut/sexual)

Giving their bulimic partner medicine

Their partner wants to remain a Tazza even after being beaten up (fictional)

Their anorexic partner won’t let them give them an IV (sad/triggering)

Fighting with their daughter (drama/family)

They slap you during a fight (drama/family)

Dating someone who is similar to themselves (dating)

You cheat on them (angst)

You do the “now you see me” piranha tank stunt (fictional)

His daughter has an abusive boyfriend (drama/family+triggering)

You’re in Tove Lo’s High video (viewing+fictional)

Sehun dates Kaya Scodelario (dating)

Watching Rihanna’s Bitch better have my Money video (viewing)

Receiving a figging punishment (smut/sexual)

Their religious partner is afraid to kiss them

Their partner over practices ballet because they want to be the best

Their partner injures their should but continues practicing Acro-Dancing

Their partner hides their body curves because they’re self-conscious

making a Halloween pumpkin with their partner (fluff)

their partner suggesting an open relationship (dating)

Their partner plays Harley Quinn in the next Suicide Squad

their child kisses another members child that is the same gender

their boyfriend comes out to them as bisexual (slice of life/……)

walking in on their younger brother having sex with another member (smut/sexual)

showering with their significant other

they are doms and spank/punish you when you do something that’s not allowed (smut/sexual)

His boyfriend denies he has an eating disorder (sad/triggering)

seeing their partner featured in Jay Park’s Mommae mv (viewing+fictional)

his lover has an asthma attack and exo can’t find their inhaler

accompanying their daughter while getting an injection (family)

their partner swallows nails to hurt themselves (sad/triggering)

you’re really sad and tired so they try to comfort you (fluff)

you end up in jail for scamming a person and they pay the bail fee

Their partner says they are “friends with benefits” rather than partners (dating)

A youtuber they like covers their song

Their female friend walks out in a towel but it drops

seeing you fangirl to Bang Bang Bang (viewing)

Their partner lets people treat them badly (drama/family)

Their partner has anemia but won’t take any medicine (sad/triggering)

Finding out their partner is a cannibalistic serial killer (fictional)

Finding you cutting yourself in the bathroom (sad/triggering)

Awkward morning after a drunk one night stand (smut/sexual)

getting stuck in an elevator with a foreigner who speaks their language

First time with their boyfriend/partner (smut/sexual)

seeing your self-harm scars (sad/triggering)

Their idol crush steals their papel on Running Man

Their partner is a slow eater

meeting their child for the first time (fluff+family)

discovering their partner is a Tazza (fictional)

They find out you write fanfics about them

Their partner walks around the dorms in a hoodie and under and the others see

Saying their partner is cute around the other boys and one of them replies

finding out their partner was a gifter before meeting them (fictional)

you put a bra on top of their chest and take a picture while they sleep

his partner does illegal gambling (drama/family)

Their best friend’s partner is abusive (sad/triggering)

81 going with their partner to the doctor and the doctor makes an indecent preposition

EXO page 2

When they are crying and the ageplay mommy/daddy comforts them  (Lay, baekhyun, Chen)

when they accidentally go into their “little space” (ageplay) (Lay, Baekhyun, Chen, Kyungsoo)

Their vampire partner refuses to turn them (Kris, Suho, Kyungsoo, Tao)

EXO/NCT announcing to their partner that they’re pregnant (Luhan, Baekhyun, Yuta, Ten)

Their partner doesn’t let them meet their child because they might be unhappy/accusing  (lay, Sehun, Chanyeol, Chen)

being trapped in an elevator with their crush (Sehun, Chanyeol, Lay, Chen)

their partner’s child accusing them of replacing their mom (Suho, Baekhyun, Xiumin, DO, Kai)

Finding out they’re supposed to be the next victims of their serial killer partner (Kris, Chen, Lay)

Being insecure about their relationship because their partner already has a kid (Luhan, Chanyeol, Tao, Sehun)

A jealous fan tries to hurt his family

Finding out their partner is a demigod (fictional)

Their partner doesn’t eat much and won’t take vitamins

Their partner being in a mafia family but they cut all the ties to the mafia

His dom partner punishes him for worrying about them

his partner has ADHD (slice of life)

Being friends with benefits but realizing they love you

Ageplay (part 2)- when he’s the child in the relationship (role switch)

his partner trains with the abusive ballet instructor again (sad/triggering)

being rewarded by their dom after the figging punishment (smut/sexual)

When you stop eating after they finish eating bc you eat slowly

Discovering their partner is a virgin after having sex with them for the first time (smut/sexual)

Going w/ their religious partner to a confession

Making their partner feel good for their first time (smut/sexual)

Being punished for laughing about their Dom’s status (smut/sexual)

Their shy partner gets jealous of a hot waitress

Finding out they have speeding tickets

you’re pretty but don’t believe it (slice of life+drama/family)

Their teenage daughter gets pregnant (drama/family)

Their partner is addicted to a legal drug but it’s harmful

Catching their partner smoking weed at a party

30 Trying to feed you because you have an eating disorder (sad/triggering)

Their partner is afraid of injections and has to get vaccinated  

Learning that their partner is pregnant with 4 kids instead of 1  

When another member breaks up  

Their partner gets bitten and is dying (zombie au)  

Having “sexy time” with their partner and their parents/ other members catch them

What type of fathers they’d be      (family)

seeing you dancing and singing sensuously to “sexy, naughty, bitchy”  

wanting to be comforted when they’re upset  

Hearing their partner puking in the bathroom, finding out they have an eating disorder  (sad/triggering)

Their partner speaks english and spanish but is trying to learn korean/mandarin  

Falling in love with a person with pixie hair  

Their partner serves them breakfast in bed (edited 9/8/17)

seeing their partner dancing to country music  

what sex with exo would be like (smut)

45 Finding out Luhan kidnapped Xiumin  

Having to give up “sexy time” because their partner’s dog tries attacking them  

They want to do stuff but you don’t get it (smut-ish)

when their bed breaks after a long night with their partner (smut)

their daughter wants to do their hair and makeup for a performance

Exo their long-time gf (sexualy active) wants them to take their tshirt off to sleep  

you dress up for them and you’re that kind of person who doesn’t care about their appearance

you are partner (Polish) and you unconsciously start talking in your mother language  (this is linked it just doesn’t look like it is)

coming home and finding their partner watching hsm and singing along  

their idol partner can sing on Inkigayo and you hit INCREDIBLY high notes  

If they’re in Hello Baby  

their partner comes to them and want to hug them without a reason  

finding out about their partner’s love of aquariums! especially florescent jellyfish  

reaction to chen turning into a kitten  

seeing their partner coming home completely wet from head to toe and pissed  

coming home to find their partner eating ice cream & crying bc of a movie but they continuously ignore them because the movie is too good  61

Exo: reaction to kai’s  short lived Instagram  

when Sehun meets a girl not willing to deal with his sassiness  

their crush, a trainee, nailing the high notes and also dances perfectly to their songs  

finding out their partner turned into a vampire  

coming home to see you and DO planning world domination  

when you catch them checking you out (I think this is a repeat….)

finding out you have a naughty ( ;) ) piercing  

seeing their model gf walk the catwalk for a Victoria Secrets Showcase  

finding out you have a really sensitive part of you neck like Lay does  

reacting to Lay watching My Little Pony  

their partner gets scolded by their dance teacher because they’re not learning the dance quick enough 72

when their their partner does a lingerie cf  

seeing a girl with short (boyish) hair  

your mom doesn’t approve of the relationship  

finding out that their partner smokes  

they catch their partner drinking even though they know they had an alcohol addiction  

their b/gf comes home late really drunk because you two had a huge fight.  

their cousin undresses their b/gf in his mind  

their partner puts their hand down their pants after their cousin flirts with them and yells “it’s in my every night” in front of their entire family  80

EXO page 3

(Yandere) types of yandere/ soft-sadistic mtl *not a reaction*

their s/o keeps loosing at strip poker and is almost naked  

Their partner helps them while they’re pregnant (Luhan) (Baekhyun) (needs yuta & Ten)

getting attention from other companies after their partner’s fame skyrockets (Suho) (Sehun) (Chanyeol) (Chen) 59-62

Reacting to you sucking their bottom lip (all members) (linked but doesn’t look like it)

Finding out that their partner was a serial heartbreaker and player in the past (Lay, Chanyeol, kai, Sehun)

reaction when their kid comes out of the closet  

you suddenly brushing them on their ‘thang’ when they spill a drink on you and you try to clean it up  

seeing their partner performing in a HUGE award show with a broken foot  

having a dream of their partner getting kidnapped   (edited 9/9/17)

becoming jealous after seeing you hug a close guy friend from school  

Kyungsoo and Ariana  (kyungachu[.]tumblr[.]com) having a cute fluffy relationship  

50 when you fangirl(boy) over G Dragon to them  

falling in love with someone older than them  

they’re students in your class and they fall in love with you  

they change their hairstyle and want compliments but you don’t notice  

they wake up to find you asleep at your desk because you’ve been studying for an exam  

you both watch You’re beautiful and you start crying when a sad scene comes on  

reacting to Luhan singing “do you want to build a Minseok”    

hearing you fangirl(boy)ing over Shinee’s “Your Number” when they come home    

their partner has a crush on One Direction  

their partner sends them nudes  

realizing their jewelry was stolen after shaking hands with someone  

Their crush asks them out  

buying tampon for their sick partner  

their ‘partner’ has a panic attack  

getting lost in a foreign country and they don’t know the language  

finding you sleeping with the teddy bear they got you for when they’re touring  

their partner is sassy & cries after yelling at them during their pregnancy  

A sex scenes come on and you tell him you want to try it    

32 you mumble in your sleep for Kai to stop eating Suho’s cat and buy him another one  

finding out that their partner watches hentai  

their bestfriend starts having feelings for them but they don’t feel the same way  

their partner is rushed to the hospital/has to have surgery  

finding out their friend is having financial trouble & is starving but they didn’t want to tell them  

catching their partner reading yaoi  

when their ex is harassing their partner  

their reaction after sex with you for the first time  

being partnered with their crush to do the Thinking out Loud dance together  

when another member drunkenly kisses their partner  

when their partner is afraid of thunder  

an incident happens when their partner sits on their lap  

they accidentally hurt their partner during sex  

Their partner runs away after telling them they love them  

falling in love with an android/robot  

falling in love with the “girl of Ipanema” at the beach  

16 what they would do for their partner on valentines day  

their partner kisses them then runs away  

you tell them that you’re afraid (or don’t want) to have kids  

trying to have alone time with their partner but their band members keep following them  

when you drink a lot because of depression from having a miscarriage  

when you shave all of they hair off while they’re asleep  

hearing their crush’s new song about them “bug a Boo”  

finding out you’re protective and get jealous easily  

you already have a partner but you’re cheating on them with an exo member  

asking you to marry them    

they tell you they’ve been in love with you for a long time  

they find out you can sing Growl in korean  

when you tell them you’re breaking up with them but it’s a test to see how they’d react  

having their first big fight as a couple but neither of you want to apologize first  

when they think you’re in love and will leave them for someone else  

their partner tells them that they actually aren’t pregnant  

EXO unlinked/unpaged (in archive Jan-Feb 2015)

39. exo: They find out that you like them

38. exo: they saw you catch them masturbating

37. exo: you tell them you’re pregnant after ‘sexy time’ (you’re married)

36. exo: nervous about messing up on recording with their favorite senior idol

35. exo: you try to comfort them because they can’t stop crying after winning an award

34. exo: they flirt with someone to make you jealous but you don’t notice

33. exo: your parents don’t like them

32. Exo: their boy/girlfriend is an evil villain in a movie

31. exo: they win the Best Couple Award for their drama with you

30. exo: their child(ren) can take better selfies than them

29. exo: they broke up but see you with someone else and wants you back (jan. 31 2015)

28. exo: you leave hickeys on their neck and shoulder

27. exo: they’re your boyfriend and they see you checking someone else out

26. exo react: they find out you’re taller than them

25. exo:you’ve had sex before but they’re still virgins so they feel awkward

24. exo: they receive sexy underwear from their boy/girlfriend and the band teases them

23. exo: their Brazilian girlfriend dances samba on international TV

22. exo: seeing their crush being rejected by a guy/girl

21. exo: they’re your teacher and they’re in love with you

20. exo: before/after their wedding ceremony

19. exo: a member walks in on them making out with you in the dorm

18. exo: their crushing asking to paint them naked

17. Exo: having wet dreams about their boy/girlfriend so they feel awkward

16. exo: their crush kissing them to stop them from rambling about their love for them

15. exo: you tease them for liking hyoyeon (snsd)

14. Exo: has a secret crush on you but they’re are drunk

13. Exo: their boy/girlfriend kisses them for the first time

12. exo: their boy/girlfriend has a month to live (they have children)

11. exo cheat on their boy/friend

10. Exo: you ask for a lap dance

9. exo: you call them your ex’s name

8. exo: when you broke up but see you with your new boy/girlfriend

7. Exo: meeting their favorite idol for the first time

6. exo: their boy/girlfriend joins “we got married” with someone else

5. exo reacts:seeing the model/actor/actress they’ll work with

4. exo reacts: someone flirting with their boy/girlfriend

3. exo reacts to their boy/girlfriend wanting to “do it”

2. exo finds a dog/cat and wants to keep it

1. exo meets you for the first time (jan. 18 2015)

[skatoonyfan1234]

Lickboot's Redemption

AU Version of the ending of the 1992 Tom & Jerry movie. What if Lickboot suddenly redeemed himself at the last minute? Dedicated to Tony Jay, Lickboot's voice actor.

[I do not, and never will, own Tom & Jerry, or any of their movies, not even the new 2021 Tom & Jerry Movie.]

[set during the fire in the cabin]

The fire was spreading through the cabin like... well, a fire.

Robyn was up on the top floor, and she was backing away from the flames, whilst Aunt Figg and Lickboot were by the upturned table.

"You fools!" Figg yelled angrily, "Look what you've done!" Realizing they were now in danger, she turned to Lickboot, who was rubbing his knee from when Robyn kicked him, and she said, "Lickboot, grab the girl and let's get outta here!"

Lickboot stood up, and stared up at Robyn. "Robyn, the house is burning down!" he pleaded, "You must get out before it's too late!"

"No!" Robyn shouted, "No, I won't go with you! You'll never take me back!"

At that moment, a beam got loosened by the flames and fell down onto the stairs, trapping Robyn on the top floor, cutting her off from Figg & Lickboot. She backed away and screamed in alarm, as the flames got ever closer to her.

"Lickboot, let's get outta here before we all fry!" Figg wailed, as she ran toward the door.

"But the girl-!" Lickboot protested.

"Forget her!" Figg snapped, apparently not caring about Robyn anymore. "We gotta save ourselves!"

She tugged at the door, forgetting that is was already locked.

"No." Lickboot said firmly.

Figg immediately stopped tugging at the door. "What?!" she said in shock and horror upon hearing what she'd just heard.

"You heard me, Pristine." Lickboot said firmly. "I'm not going with you! I'm going back for Robyn!"

"I told you to leave her, Lickboot!" Figg snapped. "If that pathetic brat wants to stay and get burned to death, that's fine by me! I'll still claim her daddy's money either way!"

As Figg & Lickboot were arguing, they didn't see that Tom and Jerry had reached the sunroof from outside, and they saw Robyn crouching down in a corner. Tom taps the sunroof to get her attention and she looked up to see him and Jerry on the sunroof with delight.

"I can't leave her, Pristine!" Lickboot stated firmly. "I have to help her!"

Words could not describe how angry Figg was at that moment. Any words she woulda said at how she felt at this moment would almost be words even Spike the bulldog and his son Tyke, or Mammy Two-Shoes, or Nibbles, or the abusive chef owner from the cartoon 'High Steaks' shouldn't hear.

"ALRIGHT, You double-crossing, mud-sucking, no-good lawyer!" Figg yelled. "If you want to go back for her and get burned to death, be my guest! We're through!"

"Fine!" Lickboot said sternly. He headed towards Robyn, and then turned back and said to Figg, "By the way, the keys are on the hanger."

Figg quickly grabbed the keys on the hanger, and used the key Lickboot used to unlock the door. She grabbed Ferdinand, skateboard and all, and said, "Come on, Ferdy, let's get outta here!"

She raced down the stairs as fast as her legs would let her, jumped onto the paddle steamer, grabded the wheel, and sped off down the river.

"So long, Robyn! So long, Lickboot!" Figg chuckled evilly as she sped away down the river, as Ferdinand covered his eyes at the sight of the burning cabin.

"Don't worry, Ferdie." she laughed. "When Robyn dies, I'll make sure to claim her father's money!"

---------

By this time, Robyn had just been rescued by Tom and Jerry. They were just about to leave when they saw Lickboot jump to the opening and grab on by his fingers.

"Lickboot?!" exclaimed Robyn in surprise, as she and Tom pulled him out. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I told you I wouldn't go with you and Aunt Figg."

"I know, but I just couldn't abandon you, Robyn." he said. "I'm getting you to your father."

Robyn gasped, as well as Jerry. Tom's jaw dropped down so fast, and so hard, it made a small hole in the roof.

"I did not see that coming." Jerry said to the viewers.

"Oh, Lickboot, I knew you cared about me!" Robyn said joyfully, hugging Lickboot.

"Uh, excuse me, Robyn," Tom said, "I really, really, REALLY hate to interrupt, but can we save the emotional moment till after we're off this burning cabin?!" the last part rising to a yell of panic.

Lickboot and Robyn didn't need to be told twice; They climbed onto the top of the roof as it shakes. Immediately, they saw a helicopter appearing from the woods and flying over to the burning cabin. Leaning outta the cockpit was Robyn's father, Michael Starling. "Look, the cabin's on fire! Maybe we're too late!" he called.

"Daddy!" Robyn exclaimed.

"Robyn, I'm coming! Hang on!" Michael Starling called loudly.

The helicopter flew as close as it could to the roof, but the blades whirled so fast that the wind they made forced Tom and Jerry backwards.

"Robyn, take my hand! Hurry!" Michael Starling called, holding out his hand. Robyn reached out and grabbed it as he pulled her to the cockpit.

"Oh, Daddy, I know you'd come." Robyn said gratefully.

"You're safe now, Robyn. I'm here." Michael told his daughter.

Just then, Robyn noticed Tom, Jerry, and Lickboot. "Wait, no! We can't leave them!" she said.

"I'm coming, Robyn!" Lickboot cried. He took a big leap, and only just managed to grab on to one of the helicopter's landing skids.

"Tom! Jerry!" Robyn called, "You're gonna have to jump!"

"Are you kidding?!" Tom said, aghast. "I'm not gonna jump! What if I miss?"

"Well, you can either stay and be roasted by a burning cabin or you can fall into the river. Your choice." Jerry said smugly, leaping onto Tom's head.

Tom became annoyed. "If I ever get outta this movie alive, I'm getting a replacement mouse." Tom complained to the viewers.

"Hurry up!" Robyn called, "The cabin's gonna go any second!"

"Hold on, Jerry!" Tom said. With Jerry clinging on tightly to his head, Tom ran, jumped and leapt as high and as far as he could. Robyn closed her eyes, waiting for the worst. Her father still held onto her, just as concerned for them as concerned as he was for his daughter.

Then, there was silence.

"Robyn!" Jerry called. "We're alright!"

Robyn opened one eye, then the other, and saw that Tom & Jerry had grabbed onto Lickboot's pants leg. She was relieved, and so was her dad.

"You made it!" Robyn cried.

"And just in time!" Michael Starling called. "Look!"

As he said this, the fire burnt through the cabin's supports, and then the whole cabin collapsed into the water; the splashes made from when it landed extinguishing the flames.

------

Once it was safe to land, Tom, Jerry, Robyn, Lickboot, and Michael Starling all came down onto the dock.

"Tom, Jerry, I'm so glad you're alright!" Robyn said, as she hugged them.

"Yeah, more or less." Tom said.

Michael Starling came over, hugging Robyn.

"Robyn," he said, "I promise I'll never leave you again." He looked at Tom & Jerry. "And I want to thank you, Tom & Jerry, for helping my daughter."

"We're real sorry about the cabin, though." Jerry said.

They stared at the wreckage of the cabin, with furniture and wood littering the water.

"Don't worry." Michael Starling said, "We can rebuild the cabin, bigger, better than before."

"Yeah." said Tom, "And we'll use our million dollar reward to help fund it for you."

"What?" Robyn asked, confused.

"The million dollar reward we saw on a milk carton." Tom said. "That's the reward we get for finding you."

"Yes," Lickboot said, "The reward that I said we'd give to the one who found Robyn and brought her back to me and Aunt Figg, even though we'd have no intention of paying, and..."

Lickboot stopped dead upon seeing Robyn & Michael Starling glaring at him, thus making him realize too late that he'd blurted out the whole 'phony reward' scam.

"...I shouldn't probably have said that out loud, should I?" he said sheepishly.

"Wow. Who would've thought that there was no million dollar reward at all? I certainly wasn't expecting that." Tom said to no one in particular.

"And I certainly think the cops will be sure to hear about this from you and Figg." Michael Starling said sternly, getting out his phone.

"Wait." Robyn said, getting in front of Lickboot, "Daddy, he did save me, and he did care about me. Couldn't you consider something a bit less harder on him?."

Michael stared at his daughter, and at Tom & Jerry, and Lickboot.

"Well..." Michael Starling said hesitantly, "I might be able to consider something..."

-----

Thanks to Tom & Jerry, Robyn was finally reunited with her father, and now they would never have to worry about Figg again.

Figg was found out for cruelly abusing Robyn, and she was arrested, and given a life sentence in prison for child abuse, and for exploiting Robyn for money. And her dog Ferdinand was sent to the dog pound.

Lickboot was fired from his job as Michael Starling's lawyer, and he was sentenced to prison for setting up a phony million dollar reward.

With enough good behavior, Lickboot was given an early parole, and he moved into a better business - real-estate. He sold Dr Applecheek's house to a worthy buyer, and soon, married a blonde-haired woman when he met her outside her new house.

So now Lickboot had found his happy ending.

--------

In loving memory of Tony Jay

(2 February 1933 – 13 August 2006)

The best actor for Disney, Warner Bros, and all others.