#and then they have a healthy conversation about their relationship and their boundaries and they both come away stronger bc of it and and a

[vind3miat0r]

Porter Valentines audio that starts off with him apologizing to Treasure who then apologizes to him and then theyre both apologizing at the same time while also crying and holding each other and telling the other that they dont need to apologize and then they kiss and and and

[ming-sik]

ok im talking to a brick fucking wall here but in case anyones actually curious the "are cishet aro men lgbt" poll is very much taken out of context and ive seen a lot of ppl, who have heard secondhand that there are people who dont think aroallo people are inherently lgbt, who did not see the original conversation.

which to be crystal crystal clear was this post, heres the conversation being discussed

notice that this guy never says hes aromantic and he specifically says that hes "not really at a point he can get into something serious" meaning that he 1) is not saying he never wants a romantic relationship he just doesnt want one right now and 2) refers to a romantic relationship as "something serious" bc he like most cishet people sees a relationship as inherently the most serious type of relationship.

additionally the reason people are upset at the guy is that although its only spelled out in the continuation where the girl explicitly says that he's asking for this despite her telling him she wants a romantic relationship if she's going to sleep with someone which is actually her setting a boundary, "exclusive obvi" in the first part most people have seen means that he is not proposing this as a thing that any given person may or may not be okay with, he is assuming without asking that she's willing to be relegated to a status he himself says is "less serious". the fact is that most cishet men are not actually friends with their fwbs and in most cases it's a code for "girl i expect all the duties of a girlfriend from with none of the care im obligated to give a girlfriend". it is the freelance contractor of het relationships.

and like is it not more disrespectful to imply that people who don't want to commit to treating someone theyre fucking as well as they think a romantic partner would expect of them are aromantic??? why would being an emotionally neglectful dickhead make you aromantic??? aromantic people are people who are not romantically attracted to other people, that's it. they are fully capable of respecting peoples' boundaries and treating their friends/sexual partners/qprs/etc as well as someone else would treat a romantic partner. like do yall not think people are wrong when they say aros are just creeps who want to use people for sex and then dip on them? why is the stance here "actually that is true but it's good actually".

the reason the poll was made in the first place was that someone got irritated that people were trying to argue that this specific shitty guy was actually aromantic and the girl was arophobic for setting a healthy boundary between her and a guy who was expecting an unhealthy relationship of her! random misogynists were the people who decided to bring aromantic people into this when they were not originally mentioned in the slightest! if you want to blame anyone, blame them for saying that emotionally abusive equals aromantic!

[becomingthatgirl111]

these are the habits you have to give up before the year is out:

worrying about people and things you can’t control

negative conversations with others

obsessing about what others think

lying for others

expect others to do what you want them to do and get angry if they don't do it

creating expectations on others

gossiping

making excuses for not taking care of your responsibilities

lying to yourself

putting your needs lasts

giving priority to other people's opinions rather than your own

letting the negative opinions of others affect you

limiting yourself

comparing themselves to others and putting them on a pedestal

giving prominence to people who do not deserve it

set boundaries with others but not with yourself

spending too much time on social media

habits you need to implement:

create a daily routine that you feel comfortable with and suits you

calming your mind a few times a day

positive affirmations and healthy thoughts

complimenting others and congratulating their success

letting go of things you can’t control

ending toxic relationships

more time outside

making yourself and your health a priority

self compassion and self forgiveness

taking responsibilities

more self care

beginning with a motivation each day

do what you need for yourself

starting something new (activity, hobby, habit)

not to depend on others and to learn to do things you want to do on your own

focus on the good things and not on the things you don't like

exercise and eat healthy for the sake of your body and not to fit into a beauty canon

getting out of your comfort zone

focus on building healthy relationships rather than being guided by false expectations of how relationships should be

be true to yourself and your values

not to sell or denigrate you for money or lavish gifts

[borderlinereminders]

If you’re someone who needs reassurance from loved ones that they love you, that’s really valid. But the way you ask for it matters. Hinting at it with comments like “nobody loves me” can actually be hurtful to your loved ones. It’s also a good idea to try and reassure yourself first!

The truth is that for a lot of people, giving reassurance constantly is exhausting. It can lead to issues in a relationship over time, and negative feelings on both sides because they may end up avoiding the other person. This is especially true if someone doesn't ask for reassurance directly but hints at it with things like "No one cares about me."

My advice is if you are finding yourself struggling is to first try and self soothe either with skills or things that have helped in the past. Here is my post on self-soothing ideas! And if that doesn’t work, then ask for it in a healthy way.

Some other examples.

Keep screenshots, letters, cards etc that affirm you are cared about by your loved ones. You can even ask someone to give you a recording of them saying it that you can listen to. Bonus: Keep these things in a self-care box that you can use in times of crisis and pull out that has other things in like affirmation cards, favourite treats, self care items, etc.

Examine the evidence. By this I mean try and keep a list of things they've done to show they care about you. For example, I have a list of things my partner has done for me besides saying "I love you" of both big things and little things that I can read when my brain decides to be rude to me and make me doubt he cares.

If the other person has done something specifically to make you feel they don't care, it's important to step back and look at the situation and check the facts. There's a difference between someone lying to you or doing something intentional and someone not replying to you because they got busy. Here’s my post on checking the facts!

Here’s a post on Challenging Irrational Thoughts!

ACCEPTS is a really good skill for distractions! Here's a post on it.

TIPP is a good skill if you are needing to calm down in immediate crisis. Here's a post on it.

If you're having urges to accuse your loved one of not caring, consider Urge Surfing (here's a post on it) and then using a skill or plan that helps you.

If you aren't able to self-soothe that's so valid! It really is. I recommend trying it because sometimes you will be able to. But then sometimes you won't be able to and that's okay. In this case, if you need to get it from someone, ask directly for it instead of doing it in a guilting/passive aggressive/hinting way. You might say "Hey. I know you care about me, but my brain is being rude. Can you please give me some reassurance?" instead of "Sorry I'm such a bad friend/person/burden/etc".

It might also be worth having a conversation when calm with the other person to establish some boundaries and ideas for communication.

For example, if your friend regularly feels drained by you asking for reassurance, they could set boundaries on how often they're okay for you to ask for it.

You both might decide that they will try and message you randomly to offer reassurance because it can mean a lot when that happens.

This might be where they send you messages/recordings/etc that you can read in times of need.

If the friend is doing something specifically, even unintentionally, that makes you question things then it's really valid to have a discussion about it! I recommend using some I-Statements or other communicative skills to talk about it. Even if they aren't doing something wrong, it's still valid to talk about your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution. For example, maybe it's really hard on you that they disappear randomly for a couple days when their energy levels plummet. And this causes you to spiral and think they're ghosting you or etc. In this situation, maybe you and your friend come up with a solution where you establish a single emoji (specific for this purpose) that the friend can send with low energy that says "Hey. It's not you but I'm feeling drained and need to not reply for a bit."

[ultravi0lence14]

My Girl

dean winchester x fem!reader

2.2k | angst, fluff

summary: some people just don’t know when to quit, and when dean notices how uncomfortable you are with a local cop on a case, he can’t seem to hold in his anger.

there was no way this hunt could get any worse.

you, sam, and dean had only been in this small, connecticut town for two days, and everything had already gone to shit. the lead witness was no help, there was barely any evidence, and to top it all off, you had to see him.

max mcmillan, the person you wished to never see again. you knew him in high school, being a friend of a friend and running into him on rare occasions.

max seemed like a nice guy, his only flaw was he always harboured a weird liking towards you. it wasn’t something you’d deem stalkerish, just an observation that you had made over the years.

just your luck he was here now, working as one of the police officers on the case. you had politely smiled at him when you first saw him, but the second he realized who you were it was almost as though that keen liking he had towards you crawled back up.

he would always be around you. getting you coffee, trying to start up a conversation, and being way too close for your comfort. you could tell that dean had noticed this, and he seemed as though he was one more shoulder pat away from blowing a fuse.

dean could tell you were uncomfortable. he knew what you looked like when that chill of unease ran up your spine, and he knew how you were about physical touch.

you were never good with people touching you, even as a young child. if someone even grazed your hand you would unravel into a fit of tears, needing to be alone for the next couple of hours to calm yourself down.

no hugs, handshakes, hand holding, anything. you didn’t have a healthy relationship with physical affection as a child, for both of your parents were not really the perfect candidates for mom and dad of the year. but you lived with it, and dealt with your no physical contact for many years to come.

that was until dean winchester came into your life.

you had met the infamous winchesters when bobby asked them to assist you on a ghoul case two years back, and since then, you three have been inseparable.

from the start you liked dean. he had this charm and whit about him that just reeled you in, wanting to know more. didn’t help that he was absolutely gorgeous on top of it.

the boys almost instantly noticed your distaste for any physical touch. it was sam who saw you flinch when he went to go hug you after a tough case. since then, they have respected your wishes and didn’t bring up the matter unless you did first.

as you and dean got closer, he would constantly catch you reaching out but reeling back at the last minute. he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so he waited until you two officially started dating, making sure you were comfortable with him touching you.

you were, one hundred percent. dean winchester was the only person you’d allow to hug, touch, or even hold your hand. you were slowly warming up to sam, but any other person was completely off limits, and if dean noticed he’d be on their ass in a second.

so as he stood in this police precinct, a watchful eye on max as he leaned over your shoulder, practically breathing down your neck and making you tense immediately, dean wanted to beat into his face until he learned what personal space and boundaries were.

sam had noticed the man’s unwanted attention on you, but he also noticed the fury written on his brothers face and he wanted to defuse the situation as calmly as possible.

while they stood side by side, pretending to listen to some cop ramble on about a traffic cam that wasn’t even in importance to the case, sam angled his head and whispered over to dean. “if you stare at him any longer i think you might explode his head.”

the older winchester just huffed, redirecting his eyes so he can look at sam. “well if he doesn’t back up than i might just have to.” the words came out like a bullet coming out of a gun; followed by dean straining his head so he could keep an eye on your facial expressions.

“she can handle herself, dean. you don’t need to worry about her all the time.” sam was right. you were perfectly capable in handling yourself and dean knew that. he just had a nagging feeling that this guy wasn’t going to back off so easily.

you were on the verge of turning and clocking max in the face. his breath on your skin was making you uncomfortable and he was way too close for comfort.

“the suspect couldn’t have gone far since- Y/N?” you hadn’t even realized you had zoned out, too busy being focused on calming your breathing and not breaking down.

“i’m sorry,” you spoke, taking a step back from max and turning towards the door. “i’ll be back, i just need to get some fresh air.” you didn’t even wait for a response as you sprinted towards the glass double doors, pushing them open and heavily breathing in the cool air.

leaning against the solid brick of the station, you tried to stop a panic attack from coming on. slowing your breathing, calming your thoughts, and taking in the fresh air was helping you get back on track. that was until you heard his nagging voice again.

“there you are Y/N. i think you should come back inside, i think i’ve found something.” max had come and stood so close to you it was like he was trying to mesh the two of you together. you couldn’t take it anymore, taking a giant step back and reeling your hands out in front of you.

“max, i am so sorry but can you please give me some personal space?” he seemed taken aback by your words, halting in all movement he was planning on doing. you realized you could’ve been nicer but this had been going on for two days and you were sick and tired of acting like you were fine.

doing the complete opposite of what you had asked, max started to step closer to you. “what’s wrong, Y/N? did i do something?” it was like what you were saying was going in one ear and out the other, and you couldn’t grasp what the boy wasn’t picking up on

“max, please.” you breathed out, hoping he would understand and leave you alone. but he just came closer, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards his chest.

the air in your lungs escaped. you couldn’t breath and it was almost as if your skin was on fire. you tried to pull away but his grip was far too tight, fighting your attempt to get away from his touch. “cmon, Y/N let’s just go inside. work this out together.” he was dragging you now, attempting to get you to the precinct doors. but the fight you were putting up was straining any further moves he had planned.

feebly trying to push at his chest with your other hand, you felt tears sting your eyes, escaping and falling down your cheeks. “let me go max, please.” you could feel your brain shutting down, the notion of max not listening to a single word you were saying finally setting in.

you could feel your resolve start to slip when suddenly, you heard a faint shout in the distance. a loud “hey!” was heard over your racing heart before max was spun around and knocked to the ground.

dean was holding max up by his collar, fist landing repeated blows on his face. you could see sam and a couple other officers run outside as dean held max up like a rag doll, the latter not even being able to land any punches with how tight dean was holding him.

“get your fucking hands off of her.” dean’s words came out gritted through his teeth, sharp like a knife piercing max’s skin.

you didn’t know what to do. dean was in such a frenzy that trying to pull him away would just be stupid, and you were honestly enjoying watching max get his ass beat.

“dean!” sam yelled, finally reaching his brother and trying to pull him off the struggling man. the older winchester just wouldn’t budge, and it took sam and three other cops to fully detach him from max’s limp body.

you watched as sam attempted to pull dean’s arms behind him, the latter fighting his brother with such intense fervour you truly thought he was going to break free and go for another couple of punches on max’s face.

when sam was able to slightly calm dean down, the older winchester walked to max and got right in his face, staring at the other man with the deadliest look you have possibly ever seen from him. “if you even step one foot towards my girl, i’ll fucking break your legs. got it?” all max could do was slightly nod, slipping in and out of consciousness

the other police officers had gone inside to get medical attention and had now come out to see if max had sustained any proper injuries from dean’s beating. before any of them could even utter a word, dean had walked over to you and gently grabbed your hand, following sam as the younger winchester high tailed it to the impala.

the car ride back to the motel was silent, filled with a tense atmosphere that had you picking at your nails. dean was gripping the steering wheel so tightly, the wounds on his bloodied knuckles were widening more greatly. sam was just staring ahead, not saying a word. if you knew the boy though, you knew that inside he was stewing with a multitude of emotions.

when the impala stopped in front of the motel, you got out and went directly to the room. you noticed sam stop dean, not letting him walk into the room yet. the look on his face was passive, and you knew that sam had an earful waiting for dean to hear. so you just closed the door, listening to sam scold dean through the window.

all you could do was sit on your bed and stare silently at the wall. this is exactly what you would do as a kid, sit in silence trying to calm yourself down. you didn’t even hear the roar of the impala as sam drove off or dean come into the room. you only noticed when a soft, gentle hand was placed on your cheek, making you turn to look dean in the eyes.

“hey, baby, you okay?” all you could do was nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. dean just nodded, slightly brushing some hair out of your eyes as he smiled. “sam just went to grab some dinner. doesn’t look like we’ll be going back to the station tonight.” his sad attempt at a joke made you giggle slightly, warranting an even bigger smile on deans face.

“there she is.” he guided your head so it laid on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around you in a gentle hug. the feeling of your arms wrapping around his middle and squeezing him tightly had dean feeling calm, at ease after all that just happened.

what snapped you out of your comfort was the scene of deans knuckles; stained with blood and marred with cut skin and angry red wounds. you pulled back and studied his hand, allowing yourself to truly see what he’d done.

“oh dean,” you muttered. bringing his hand closer to your face to see how truly bad the cuts were. “we need to clean this up.”

with a reassuring squeeze of your hand, dean got off the bed and stood in front of you. watching as your eyes worriedly followed his frame, waiting to see what he was going to do.

cupping your face once more, dean smiled as he spoke. “don’t worry your pretty little head, sunshine. i’ll patch myself up. i will be right back.” with that he kissed your cheek and made his way to the bathroom, softly closing the door behind him as you moved to get into comfier clothes.

by the time dean was done, you were already in bed. half asleep as you were tired from how fast your brain was moving today. you listened as dean got out of his fbi suit, resorting to just sleeping in his boxers as he moved to get in bed next to you.

your body moved so you could put your head onto dean’s chest, finding comfort in how close the two of you were. his one hand moved to play with your hair as his other went to grab your own hand, bringing your knuckles up to his lips and lightly brushing them across your skin.

the last thing you remember before falling into a deep sleep was the feeling of dean’s hand in your hair and his soft voice soothing all your worries from earlier.

“i’ll always be here for you, sweetheart.”

[mizusbabygirl]

they take turns ༉‧₊˚✧

(kang saebyeok and kang no eul take turns with fucking you) kang saebyeok x fem reader and kang no eul x fem reader ────୨ৎ──── cw: scissoring, car sex with no eul, reader is originally dating saebyeok but then she meets no eul, strap-on usage, saebyeok is gentle and sweet, no eul is rough and remorseless, fingering, vaginal fisting, shower sex with no eul, saebyeok cries during sex, fluff with saebyeok

you and saebyeok have been dating for a few months and she’s been nothing but the sweetest girlfriend you’ve ever had. y’all would always go on cute coffee shop dates, aquarium dates, beach dates, etc. you and her even thought about planning a trip to jeju island to celebrate your 1 year anniversary together.

you and saebyeok prioritize each other in everything and even your friends think your relationship with saebyeok is perfectly healthy. saebyeok enjoys giving you small pecks on the cheek and you enjoy cuddling with saebyeok during cold or rainy nights. your girlfriend has never thought about doing anything much more either than kissing and cuddling but you didn’t mind since you respected her boundaries.

one day in particular, it was a cold day and you and saebyeok were going on a date to a sushi restaurant to celebrate your 6 month anniversary with her. just then, a young woman with a cold expression on her face walked past you and your girlfriend whilst you were trying to reserve a table for the both of you. you didn’t think much about that woman but her cold expression really gave you the shivers.

moments after you and saebyeok got a table, the woman came up to saebyeok with a smile that didn’t seem genuine. “saebyeok, is it? kang saebyeok?” the woman spoke up with a deep tone that freaked you out a bit since you were so used to your girlfriend’s soft voice. saebyeok looked at her but she didn’t smile back, “why are you here, no-eul?” saebyeok’s tone didn’t sound as sweet as the tone she always used, it sounded bitter. no-eul leaned in to whisper into your girlfriend’s ear and left in a dash.

you didn’t try to ask saebyeok anything about the weird situation and instead tried to enjoy the moment by enjoying the special date at the sushi restaurant with her.

after the date, it was around 7 pm and saebyeok thought about spending the night at your apartment which you recently bought with your own money. once you got ready for bed and lended saebyeok a pair of comfy clothes she could wear, her phone started ringing. you got a glimpse of the name of the caller and it was no-eul. you got creeped out but also annoyed that this no-eul keeps getting in the way. saebyeok never mentioned she had a friend named no-eul. saebyeok coldly excused herself and went to take the call in the bathroom.

you didn’t want to eavesdrop but you did overhear something about no-eul being a horndog.

“what type of fucking conversation is this?”

you thought to yourself.

in the meantime, you decided to drift off to sleep, hoping your girlfriend would end that fuck ass call with no-eul talking about how she wants to talk someone through it.

it was around 2 am and saebyeok was sleeping soundly next to you, her arms wrapped around you. her soft breathing made you feel some sort of way, the way she gently ran her hands through your hardened nipples really made you wet. you’ve never had sex before nor masturbated, but in that hot moment, you wanted to feel everything. without your girlfriend noticing, you slowly ran your fingers around your clothed pussy, feeling it slowly get wet. you put your hand inside your panties and traced your fingers around your aroused clit, teasing your tight folds as your fingers made their way into your hole. you dipped them in and out, rubbed them in there until you were a soaking mess.

saebyeok, began to press small kisses on your neck from behind, her arms wrapped tightly around you, your soft moans from fingering yourself made it obvious to her that you wanted her in that moment. “honey, do you want to try it?” saebyeok asked you with the sweetest tone, making you turn around to face her. she put your hair behind your ear and went in to kiss you. surprisingly, she took the hand you used to finger yourself with and began sucking your fingers clean. you’ve never seen your girlfriend act like this before but it got you turned on, making you want to undress yourself right on the spot. she began tugging on your shirt, basically begging you to strip immediately. you pulled your shirt off, your tits in front of her face, your nipples immediately hardened to the thought of her sucking on them. saebyeok undressed herself as fast as she could, looking like an impatient sex addict.

her fingers went immediately to your crotch, she looked mesmerized by the sight of your virgin pussy. she dipped one of her fingers in your pussy, causing you to moan out, as you fully undressed yourself fully. saebyeok went further by dipping in another finger, slowly entering your untouched cervix. “fuck…” you moaned out as she fingered you slowly. you felt like your cervix was getting stretched open by her fingers and you were so close to the edge. “what’s wrong?” saebyeok whispered as she went faster and deeper. you couldn’t even talk, you just moaned as you came all over her hand. she slipped her fingers out of you and got on top of you to kiss you.

your right leg wrapped around her, making her pussy meet yours. her hips started moving back and forth against you, your pussy making wet squelching sounds with hers. her moans sounded like cries, but it was so hot, she was whimpering. her clit met yours which immediately caused you to scream out. her hip moving went faster and faster, making your pussy feel like it’s melting with hers. “hold my hand baby, i’m almost there” saebyeok made you hold her hand, her hand interlocking with your hand tightly as she released her squirt all over your pussy and lower tummy. she went in to kiss you again, but with much more passion.

this moment made your relationship with your girlfriend grow stronger and more intimate. intimacy was what you were both lacking.

that morning, you woke up alone, thinking saebyeok was still sleeping soundly, resting her head on your chest. you got up, your heart racing with fear. you thought saebyeok left you.

as you quickly put on a pair of panties and a random shirt on and made your way into the living room of your apartment, you found no-eul and your girlfriend standing near the doorway. you felt annoyed and rushed over to shoo no-eul out of your apartment, “how the fuck do you know my girlfriend?” no-eul smiled at you and calmly replied, “we grew up together in north korea,” you looked back at your girlfriend to see if she had any sort of reaction but she wasn’t even looking at the two of you. you face yourself back to no-eul, waiting to see who would break this awkward moment. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to talk to you that way. i just found it weird that i suddenly started finding you everywhere i went as if you were stalking me or my girlfriend,” no-eul just smiled at you, as a way of accepting your apology.

suddenly, saebyeok told you that she had to leave for a few hours to run some errands like usual. you let her leave and watched no-eul leave as well with her.

as you were preparing to take a warm shower, your apartment’s doorbell ringed. you opened the door and found no-eul again. instead of making that stirred up face you always made whenever you saw no-eul, you smiled back at her. you let her into your apartment and got to know her, even if you still had an iffy feeling about her.

“so that basically sums up how me and kang saebyeok got to get in touch with each other again,” no-eul finished her story that made you learn a bit about her. you had a weird feeling that your girlfriend and no-eul could possibly be related to each other since they both share the same surname but you thought it would make the moment between you and no-eul uncomfortable if you asked her about it.

but something about no-eul; you didn’t know if it was her sweet scent that reminded you of saebyeok or her dark eyes that sparkled but something definitely turned you on about her. you’re not a cheater, and you’re well known amongst your friend circle for being a loyal puppy when it comes to relationships.

all of a sudden, you suddenly found yourself kissing no-eul, you were completely drowned in your own thoughts that you didn’t get to remember how you even ended up kissing her in the first place. you felt no-eul’s tongue dart inside your mouth, both of your tongues dancing with each other, her taste reminded you so much of saebyeok it drove you insane.

when you finally came to your senses, you broke the kiss with her immediately and said, “no-eul, i have a girlfri-“ she interrupted you “oh i know,” no-eul smirked at you and she went in to kiss you again.

you felt like a monster in that moment. you felt as if you completely let down the only person who you promised you were going to cherish forever.

you left no-eul in the living room as you made your way to take the shower you were going to take after saebyeok left. as soon as you undressed yourself, the bathroom’s door swung open.

“what a fucking perv”

you thought to yourself.

no eul was seen only wearing a pair of panties, her tits were out. you completely froze in that moment, you knew things were going to take a turn for the worst after this encounter. you didn’t get to realize that she had some weird bulge in her panties and it really got you turned on? this situation got you turned on? cheating on your girlfriend with her childhood friend turned you on?

you were getting lost again into your thoughts as you saw no-eul pulling down her panties rapidly and saw her dark red 7 inch strap on spring out, slapping her tummy.

nothing mattered.

all that mattered was that you were now currently moaning, crying, pinned to the shower wall, you were moaning in ecstasy. no-eul had one hand on your hip and the other one pulling your hair as a handle. no-eul was in the shower with you, ramming her big cock in and out of your pussy that was once very tight, her hips worked like a jack hammer. “good fucking girl” she slammed her strap-on deeper inside your pussy “your pussy is so fucking tight—can’t even get used to this dick” she said as she jack hammered harder into you.

you eventually came on her strap-on and she gave your ass a sharp spank, leaving it stinging for a few minutes. the warm water from the shower falling on the both of you, your ass getting spanked repeatedly by no-eul made you hornier.

no-eul slapped your spread open cunt over and over again and you could even hear her giggle in satisfaction.

you thought this was over and you could just make her get out of your apartment and forget about everything and go back to how things were.

you were wrong.

saebyeok is sweet, nurturing, gentle, caring but no-eul is a savage beast, you would have thought having sex with no-eul would be similar to how you had sex with saebyeok since they both share similar personality traits but you were wrong.

no-eul turned off the running water from the shower and threw you out of the shower like a toy.

you found yourself getting pussy fucked in doggy style by her on the bathroom floor, your dripping wet hair and body made small puddles on the floor. no-eul pulled out in the middle of it and spat on your pussy and rubbed her hand aggressively against it and slipped her strap-on back inside again. “fucking saebyeok can’t do this good, can she?” no-eul said while giving you her last pounds.

you had no words after that.

the next week, you haven’t seen no-eul again but you didn’t tell anything to saebyeok. you and your girlfriend did the same things like going on dates, cuddling, etc. you seemed to forget what had happened between you and no-eul, as if it was just a bad dream. that following day, saebyeok decided to spend the night at your apartment again but something seemed weird about her.

when saebyeok entered your room, she had that same weird bulge in her pants like the one no-eul had in her panties before she fucked you relentlessly with her strap-on in the bathroom.

“babe, i wanted to try something more different with you. let’s not cuddle tonight, i don’t care about that anymore,” saebyeok said as she pulled down her pants and revealed the same fucking strap no-eul had used on you. you couldn’t even hide your shocked expression, but saebyeok had undressed herself completely before you could even say anything.

you gulped at the sight of your girlfriend who was once the most innocent and sweetest girl to being a horny animal like no-eul. “come ride it, don’t worry i’ll take care of you through it,” your girlfriend said to you as she signaled you to slip your pussy on her strap-on. you undressed yourself and to your surprise, your pussy was a soaking mess.

you gently got on top of saebyeok as she placed her cold hands on your hips, slowly sliding you down onto her strap.

oh fuck it felt real good and she could tell just by the moan you let out when her strap slipped perfectly into your cunt.

your hips moved side to side, back and forth and you did little bouncing moves that made your tits bounce up and down. you were riding her like a champ and her hands were now placed on your ass for support.

as soon as you were about to release, her eyes were getting watery and she began to whimper and cry. looks like her strap was hitting her swollen clit with every bounce you took when you were riding her.

poor girl.

fast forward to 4 months later, it was a hot sunny day in july and saebyeok thought it would be a great idea to go to the beach with you. saebyeok parked her car in a parking lot that was near the beach but she forgot to buy sunscreen. “fuck i forgot the sunscreen, please wait here or outside the car, i’ll be back,” saebyeok said as she got out of the vehicle to go to the nearest shop to buy sunscreen. you were left alone in the car, it was scorching hot so you rolled down the windows to let in some air even though it didn’t feel as refreshing as the ac.

a few minutes went by and she still hadn’t came back so you take off your shirt and shorts, revealing the new bikini you recently bought for this occasion. you were chilling in the backseat, listening to music as you heard someone run towards the car. you took off one of your ear buds to see no-eul? no-eul running towards you? you sat up and looked out the window to get a closer look.

“i got you ice cream, i’m sorry i didn’t text nor call you this whole time i was away,” no-eul apologized as she handed you a strawberry ice cream cone. you thanked her but then she demanded you to open the door for her. without a single thought, you opened the door for her and she made herself in.

as you were enjoying your ice cream, she kept eye fucking you; probably because you looked so hot in that bikini. too bad your girlfriend didn’t get a chance to see how you looked in it.

that didn’t matter now since no-eul was now on top of you, kissing you and touching you. no-eul broke the kiss and smashed the ice cream onto your tits.

“what the fuck!!!???”

you thought to yourself. she licked up the melting ice cream off your cleavage, undoing your bikini and dropping it aside. your body felt sticky and sweaty since you were left in the scorching hot car for so long.

no-eul dipped her fingers in your pussy, pumping them in and out. “fucking bitch,” she remarked as she made a fist and stuck her fist into your vagina causing you to scream out.

suddenly, you caught a glimpse of your girlfriend returning. you froze, but not fully since no-eul kept fisting your used up hole.

saebyeok opened the car’s door and caught you two in the action.

you were fucking done.

but saebyeok didn’t seem mad, she looked like she was trying to hold back her laughter.

what the fuck could this mean? could it be that your girlfriend was setting you up with no-eul this whole time?

[cozy-cg]

𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐅𝐨𝐫 ⚠︎︎

NSFW, k!nk or dualcom DNI.

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞.. ミ★

-> Dealing with threats and manipulation. This is not normal! If you set a boundary or go offline and have to manage threats, whether this be about something extreme like suicide or relapsing, or more mild like “if you go away then I guess I just won’t reply either.” This is unhealthy and a red flag.

-> Indirect vents to guilt trip you. If you find yourself seeing them posting things to social media or adjusting their statuses to things such as “I don’t think they even care about me..” or threats of suicide/relapses, this is a guilt trip and not a healthy form of communication.

-> Excessive attachment. Being unable to leave your phone for an hour or two without returning to a span of messages depending you reply is unhealthy! To be clear, messaging to say they miss you and spamming cute things isn’t unhealthy. But if you genuinely get worried not being able to reply to them for an hour or so, this isn’t healthy.

-> Using you as a therapist. If all your conversations are just them venting, this is a very big red flag! If you’re never asked about yourself, and all the conversations are revolving about their feelings and problems, this is not a healthy, caring dynamic to have.

-> Weaponizing regression. Regressing to manipulate you not into leaving them, or to manipulate you out of feeling comfortable setting a boundary is very much still toxic. If everytime you try to set boundaries or have serious conversations they’re regressing to get out of it, or regressing to force you to caretake when you needed a break, this is unhealthy!

-> Disrespect of boundaries. Needing a break from caregiving, setting limits on what you’re comfortable with, etc, is okay! You deserve to feel safe and comfortable. If you’re receiving anger or guilt trips as a response to this, that’s unhealthy behavior.

Caregivers- you deserve a safe relationship with your little! People may try and take advantage of your kindness and care- for this reason, stay safe and stay aware. Your health matters too. ♡︎

[darkwitchoferie]

Train Ride - Chapter 2, Jeongin

A/N: Apologies, this is later than originally intended. During my proofreading, I realized I kept flipping tenses, which – annoying. But that meant I had to do a little more heavy editing than I intended. Do you ever just look at a word while proofreading and think ‘that’s not a real word’, but it totally is and is in fact the correct word you meant to use? Yeah, happened a few times. Please lmk if you want to be added to the taglist.

To my new followers – hello, welcome. My fic ideas are few and, sometimes, far between. But I hope you continue to enjoy this one. Oh, that said, don’t think I won’t finish this one. This one is already more than half finished and the half that isn’t written is outlined.

Cw/tw for this chapter: vaginal fingering, nipple play unprotected vaginal sex, oral sex (m & f receiving), “accidental” exhibitionism, threesome

wc: 2.7k

Master list

Over the next week, the pair of you discussed your boundaries. Mostly they vary based on what the other individual guys might like or want, but there were hard lines for both of you. Mostly for you, and mostly centered on things you just didn’t like to do sexually. Though you did include things like allowing them all to have you with no additional protection since you had an IUD. As long as they were comfortable with it, you already knew they were all clean. The one hard rule was that if, at any time, you or Chan realized this type of sexually-opened, hopefully fully polyamorous, relationship was no longer working for you as a couple or as individuals, you’d say something. You two would keep talking about it, and include the others when and if they decided to fully be in a relationship with either of you, to keep making sure it was still a healthy relationship for all involved.

Then the conversation turned to how to invite the other seven members. You suggested posting a pic or short video of yourself masturbating into the group chat and inviting anyone who wanted to to come over and play.

Chan groaned, then laughed. “I think you’d give more than one of them a heart attack if you tried that. But definitely hold onto that idea for later.”

You then agree that they should be approached one-on-one, with each method to be different, depending on who you’re approaching. You suggested Jeongin first, seeing as he’s Chan’s roommate. You figure, and Chan agrees, that’ll make him the easiest target.

You specifically chose a day he has a schedule without the others, a photo shoot that was just him. Chan invited you over after he’d already left, letting you know that, as long as nothing went wrong, I.N would be back to their apartment by 3:30. You tried to keep yourselves distracted, not wanting to get started too soon. After all, it wouldn’t look like you’d accidentally forgotten what time he’d be back if he walked in after you were finished. Still, the anticipation and desire was making you both squirmy.

Finally, Chan’s reminder alarm goes off. You couldn’t help it, the second he looked at you after silencing it, you started giggling.

“Baby?”

“Sorry. Just, ya know, us – scheduling sex.” You laughed harder and he joined in this time. Your giggles continued, even as he gripped your hips and pulled you against him, dipping his head down to press open mouthed kisses to your neck. Chan makes quick work of your clothes, leaving you completely naked in no time.

“Already so wet, baby girl,” he muttered against the skin over your sternum as he runs a finger up and down your slit.

“Like you haven’t been hard for the last hour,” you countered. He only hummed, not denying it. That caused another gush of arousal from you – knowing he wanted this as much as you.

He laid you back on the couch, steadily kissing, licking, and sucking his way down your body until he got where he wanted to be. The flat of his tongue pressing against your clit had you arching your hips toward him and reaching down to grip his hair.

Despite inviting Jeongin to join you being the whole point, neither of you noticed right away when he walked in. It was when you heard his bag drop to the floor that you looked up and caught sight of him, flushed and staring at you. You were facing the front door and Chan had his back to it so, if not for your boyfriend blocking his view, he’d have a perfect view of your wet cunt.

“Innie,” you whimpered, reaching out toward him and digging a heel into Chan’s side. Chan pulled away, the bottom of his face coated in your arousal.

“Shit, sorry, Iyen-ah. Didn’t realize you’d be back already.” When he didn’t respond, but his eyes drifted down and locked on your pussy, the pair of you grinned at each other. “Iyen-ah?” Chan worked to hide his amusement as he waved a hand in front of the other’s man’s face.

That seemed enough to jolt him back to what was going on. He dropped his face, cheeks flushing deeper with the embarrassment of being caught. “Shit. Sorry, hyung. Sorry, noona. I’ll just, uh…. Go, yeah, I….”

“Innie, do you want a taste?”

His head snapped up and gaze locked on Chan’s face so fast, it almost gave you whiplash just from seeing it. “What?”

“I know how good she looks, spread out like this. And I can see you like what you see,” Chan nodded at the noticeable bulge in his pants. “Do you. Want. A taste?” He repeated his question, just a little slower.

“I… uh…. I mean –”

“Innie, please,” you pleaded, holding out your hand to him again. Slowly, nervously, Jeongin made his way over to you, eyes fixed on your face with a look that said he was waiting for someone to say you were just teasing him or you’d changed your mind. When he got close, you popped up just enough to grab his shirt and pull him in toward you. He stumbled a bit, but caught himself by bracing one hand on the back of the couch and the other landed just barely under you. “Do you wanna kiss me?” You asked softly, lips already close to his where he hovered over you.

“Yes,” he whispered, nodding. You grinned and pulled him fully into you. The small moan that escaped him as your lips connected had you clenching around nothing in anticipation. Chan, from his new vantage point sitting on the floor beside the couch, had a perfect view of it and reached out to squeeze your calf.

You weren’t sure if he realized then that you weren’t joking with him, or if he’d just decided to take advantage for as long as he could, but Jeongin quickly took control of the kiss. He tugged his hand out from under you, cupping your cheek and tilting your head for a better angle to deepen the kiss. One knee came down between your spread thighs to better hold himself up. His hand came off the back of the couch, fingertips grazing down your side, from shoulder to hip.

“Tease,” you muttered, pulling away just enough to speak, but your lips still touched his as you spoke. This time, as that same hand travelled down your side, his thumb brushed over your nipple causing you to gasp against his lips. This seemed to be all the encouragement he needed as his touches became a lot firmer and more deliberate after that. He shifted so that the hand that had been cupping your cheek was now holding your hip, thumb gently rubbing against the skin there. Starting at your jaw line, he began pressing open mouthed kisses across your jaw, under your ear, down your neck, and over your collar bone. You tangled the fingers of one hand in his hair, not letting him move too far away from your skin.

The hand on your hip slid over and two of his fingers gently pressed into you at the same time he wrapped his lips around one of your nipples. You moaned, arching into him and feeling him smirk against your nipple at your reaction. You whimpered, moaned, and writhed on the couch under Jeongin as he played your body as if he’d been taking lessons for years. He alternated sucking and licking your nipple, while his free hand pinched and rolled the other, then he switched sides. Meanwhile his fingers in your cunt were moving at the perfect speed to get you to and keep you on the edge of an orgasm without tipping over. Occasionally, his thumb would press on and gently rub circles against your clit. Again, just enough to not let you cum. It was maddening, but you loved it.

On the floor, Chan unzipped his pants with one hand to relieve the pressure while his other hand smoothed up and down the back of your calf, grounding himself and making sure you knew he was still there. He pressed a kiss to the top of your knee, causing you to jolt a little at the unexpected feeling.

“Forget I was here, baby girl?” Chan chuckled. You felt Jeongin twitch at Chan’s voice. “Clearly not the only one who forgot. Oh no, Iyen-ah,” Chan said as he started to back away. “Don’t stop now. She hasn’t cum yet, and you haven’t even had a real taste of her.”

Jeongin groaned, dropping his forehead to your chest. But his fingers didn’t stop. Instead, after a moment, his mouth started traveling down again, pressing open mouthed kisses to your tummy, licking or nibbling on the soft, smooth skin. He looked up at you, lips hovering over your cunt.

“Please, Innie.” Gently, you tugged at the hair you still had your fingers tangled in. He dropped a chaste kiss against your clit then wrapped his lips around it, flicking his tongue against the bundle of nerves, pulling matching moans from the pair of you. Chan’s grip on your calf tightened as he watched his friend finger you and suck on your clit. There was something about hearing the oh-so-familiar sounds you made when he wasn’t the one causing them that was driving him crazy in the best way.

You felt Jeongin’s tongue slip down to join his fingers, pushing into your cunt and thrusting a few times, before flicking up again to press against your clit. Your legs, that had been just spread on either side of him, came up to rest over his shoulders and hold his body against you as you grew closer to your orgasm. Finally, with a crook of his fingers and a particularly harsh suck of your clit, the coil in your belly snapped.

You arched up with a moan closer to a scream as you finally came. Jeongin kept working his fingers in you, letting you ride out your high on his digits. His fingers slowed to a stop as you came down from your high.

“Innie?” You asked, still trying to catch you breath.

“Hm?”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course, noona.”

“We didn’t forget when you were coming back home.”

“What?” He looked from you face to Chan’s, sitting up and pulling his fingers out of you as he did, causing you to whimper at the loss.

“When I said we didn’t realize you’d be back already, I lied,” Chan elaborated. “We planned for you to be home.”

“I don…. I don’t understand.”

You sat up beside him, tossing one of your legs over his, but let Chan explain. “Baby girl here has a fantasy.” He explained the whole situation.

“Hang on, is this why you were distracted last week?” Chan nodded.

“Listen,” you started off, starting to feel a little guilty about lying, or at the least misleading, your friend. “If you don’t want –”

“Oh no, I want. You’re not backing out, are you Y/nnie?” he asked with a sly smile.

“Not a chance,” you grinned, tugging up his shirt then pulling him to you by the back of his neck after he’d pulled the shirt all they way off. He kept moving forward until you were lying back on the couch again and he could slot his body back between your legs. You let your hands wander his torso, tracing the ridges of muscle as he reclaimed your lips in a hungry kiss.

His lips trailed down your neck again, this time biting and sucking a mark into the skin of your neck and another just below your collar bone. You scratched your nails over his abs, delighted when they twitched under your fingers. Then you reached down, gripping the waist band of his jeans with one hand and popping the button on them with the other. You felt him smirk against your skin, even as he helped you get him out of his pants and briefs.

You reached down, wrapping your hand his cock and stroking a couple times before shifting so you could press his tip to your entrance.

“Impatient, are you?” he teased.

“She usually is,” Chan agreed. “Even though she’s already cum twice.”

“Twice?”

“Mm. Once just before you walked in.”

“Enough talk, fuck me now,” you demanded, rolling your hips up. Jeongin laughed but didn’t deny you. Instead, he gripped under your knee, bending your leg up and slightly out to open you up to him better. As he slid into your warmth, his free hand groped for yours in an effort to keep himself grounded. When he bottomed out inside you, he held still, both of you breathing heavy.

You vaguely recognized the look on his face as similar to the look Chan got when he was doing his best to hold back and not come too soon. Instead of saying anything, you brought your hand that was holding his up to your mouth and wrapped first your tongue then your mouth around one of his fingers. With a groan, he flexed his hand, allowing you to trap two of his fingers between your lips. As he finally started rolling his hips, he copied the movement with his fingers in your mouth. You moaned around his fingers, sucking them as he went.

There was something soft in his eyes, just for a moment, as he looked down at you sucking on his fingers. Then it was gone and he’s pulling his hand out of yours and away from your face as he sat up on his knees. Using both hands on your hips to hold you in place, he pulled nearly all the way out then thrust back in, setting a fast, but not too rough, pace and pulling little ahs and moans from you every time he thrusts back in.

Over his shoulder, you catch sight of Chan, standing up and having rid himself of his pants and boxers. Reaching out to your boyfriend, you shift a bit so your head is hanging just slightly off the side of the couch. At Chan’s raised eyebrow, you just open your mouth while holding eye contact.

You lose yourself in the absolute pleasure of being fucked in your mouth and pussy at the same time. There’s something indescribably wonderful for you about the familiar sensation of Chan in your mouth and the new sensation of Jeongin in your cunt that makes it so, even if you tried, you’re not sure you could keep track of anything. You’re pretty sure it’s Chan whose mouth is wrapped around your nipple now, but you couldn’t say for sure, lost in the haze of your building orgasm. Someone’s fingers find your clit and apply just the perfect pressure to have you arching off the couch, scream muffled by Chan’s cock. Seconds later, you feel warmth flood your cunt as Jeongin comes, followed by a grunted warning from Chan before he’s coming down your throat.

Chan collapses to the floor, head on the couch beside you. Jeongin tries to stay sitting up for a second, but gives that up and lays down with his head on your chest, his own chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. You reach out to both of them, toying with their hair as your breathing slowly returns to normal.

“Okay baby girl?” Chan asks.

“So okay,” you reply in a raspy voice.

“Shower or tea first?” It was one thing he always insisted on when he used your throat like that – soothing tea after.

“Sleep.”

“Nu-uh, that’s not one of the choices.”

“Ugh,” you groaned.

“Why don’t you take her up to the shower and I’ll bring tea?” Jeongin suggested.

You both agree, but it still takes a few minutes before anyone moves. A while later, you’re curled up with your head on Chan’s chest and Jeongin’s arm around your waist as you drift off to sleep.

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Taglist: @skzficpriv @strayk1ds143 @vegetablesarefuntables

[chaoticbardlady99]

LADS Men Big 3

Recent thoughts about the LADS men and their zodiac signs.

Caleb is a Gemini and my fiance is a Gemini, but they could not be more different so I began thinking, “I wonder what their moon and rising would be?” So-

Disclaimer- this is just my opinion based on my knowledge and is NOT LAW! Also not proofread well.

All five boys are mentioned 🥸🌸💕💗

Sylus

☀️ Aries, ⬆️ Scorpio, 🌙Libra

Sylus has that very classic, thrill seeking, dominant leadership energy that Aries has, but I feel like he presents as a Scorpio. Scorpio men are rather mysterious, dark, magnetic. You are pulled to them as if by instinct.

However, his moon is Libra. Sylus desires justice (his anecdote and his general morals show as much) and he genuinely does have a lot of love. His heart (or desires) guide his decisions and Libra’s are ruled by Venus.

Sylus is sensitive and romantic in spite of how he presents himself, but as he grows more comfortable, that soft, gentle side that desires balance really begins to show. He is patient- the definition of “love is patient, love is kind”. He may seem rigid and overly stubborn, but he is ultimately willing to go with the flow provided he isn’t crossing his own boundaries- even then, he’s able to communicate his boundaries in a way that is effective and authoritative without having to scream to make his point.

He doesn’t see any reason to beat around the bush when there is so much life to see and love together- fights typically last less than ten minutes and it’s because he doesn’t rise to the occasion. He knows when your nervous system calms down that you will be able to have a good conversation without either’s feelings being hurt.

It’s uncomfortable to love Sylus at first because it’s healthy- but he’s patient and straightforward and you’re worth the wait.

Although he is sweet and is great with words, Sylus can also use these words to hurt and sometimes he a joke may come across as too harsh. Communication and boundaries is key- if you tell him your feelings are hurt, he takes that very seriously and becomes more mindful with his teasing in the future.

Zayne

☀️Virgo, ⬆️Capricorn, 🌙Scorpio

Virgo men are very controlled and can be very controlling- however- Zayne presents with (in my opinion) more emotional control than a Virgo, hence the rising Capricorn.

To the world, he is hard working, careful, an overachiever and essentially a God. Zayne is rigid and needs routine to maintain emotional control. He knows his limits and he knows what will make him lose control (alcohol), but when he lets go, that inner scorpion- the emotional depth and desire for intimacy and intuition comes out. Zayne, when he allows himself to lose control, is someone you could drown in and still never truly find the depth of him. When he loves, he loves hard.

Zayne also loves people completely to the point where it consumes him. He became a doctor for you for God’s sake. When it comes to someone he loves- he believes nothing is impossible and he will do anything he can, work as hard as he can, to keep you healthy and safe- even to his own detriment some time. He definitely needs you to remind him that he is not superhuman and the whole world is not his to carries. It’s hard for him to stop and remember to prioritize your relationship over work, but if you bring it up, he will make sure to be more mindful (and may need to be reminded again- it’s a busy life).

Caleb

☀️Gemini, ⬆️ Aquarius, 🌙Virgo

This Golden retriever man is just a German Shepard in disguise. He is very much a Gemini in the fact that he has duality in his personality and he is capable of switching back and forth between them. When he loves someone, they are really the closest person he needs in his life hence MC (or you) being both his best friend and partner. Caleb is ride or die- no matter how hard or messy life gets, he is going to remain right by your side and help you float when you begin to sink.

Caleb presents himself as an Aquarius- he wears a mask for those around him (except you), but to others he is unemotional, forward thinking, a catalyst for change, and has a strong sense of justice- which I think is what makes his inner Virgo come out harder with the events of the game.

Virgo moons NEED control and can become incredibly possessive- however- they are also sensitive, analytic, and their love language is often acts of service. Caleb bends over backwards to make sure you are taken care of and have everything you need. At this point, to him, your safety and relationship is the only thing he has control over and the more that is tested, the tighter that grip becomes. He is fiercely protective of you and even though he has good intentions, he is sometimes blind to the damage it causes. However, if you tell him you feel suffocated, he is willing to back off and compromise- Life360 is a must. The idea of losing you shatters him and if he actually did lose you? Well, that would be fatal.

Rafayel

☀️Pisces, ⬆️ Leo, 🌙 Sagittarius

Sweet, sweet, sassy Rafayel- the sweetest Pisces boy 💙 he is emotional and follows his heart. He feels most loved when he has your one on one attention. He is the classic Pisces archetype of creativity, hopeless romantic, and loyal. Rafayel, much like Pisces, just wants one soulmate and that’s why he will always search for you- no matter what life time. Occasionally he can fall into the trap that is escapism (sleeping mostly), but you are always there with him to keep him steady through the storm.

Rafayel wants to be the center of his love’s attention, but wants to be passively famous- he likes knowing his artwork is a big deal, but he doesn’t care for the confinement it often brings. You allow him to perform and show off and be authentic- a luxury he doesn’t get with anyone else. He is, however, a jealous person and he is not afraid to let you know when he’s upset (Whales growing legs sound familiar?) However, he is quick to apologize and doesn’t necessarily enjoy conflict.

He is someone who has a wild, passionate soul and he enjoys exploring to create. Rafayel doesn’t like to be held down and stagnant, but he also wants the comfort of home which is why your relationship is so wonderful. He finally has someone to travel with who also keeps him grounded. However, he can sometimes become a little too dependent on you, just a littttleee forgetful, and what do you mean you left the water bottles back at the hotel!?

Xavier

☀️Libra, ⬆️ Cancer, 🌙Taurus

Xavier seeks balance and has a strong sense of social justice. He loves to love and when he truly loves someone, he is never going to let that person go. He doesn’t enjoy verbal altercations and prefers to solve things calmly and rationally instead (if possible) and if he is not the one feeling emotionally dysregulated. The ugly side of love is jealousy and oh boy- this is a jealous man. However, that’s not always a bad thing 😏 Xavier is receptive if his jealousy begins to upset you and he may need lots of reassurance, but with communication, time, and patience, he eventually begins to trust that he is enough for you as he is.

He is a homebody- the sleepiest space bunny. It’s important for him to have a home base and he would prefer to spend a holiday at home than go out and explore (when him and MC fell asleep during touring love? Adorable). Xavier is a great listener and reflector- he’s pretty good about not offering solutions when you just need comfort, but he struggles to talk about his own feelings which can become frustrating. He needs encouragement and reminders that his feelings and needs matter too.

Xavier is stubborn and once he sets his mind on something, he is meticulous and slow in crafting his plans so that they can be executed perfectly. Sometimes it’s frustrating because he can become very secretive with his plans- he doesn’t want any of the pieces to be out of place. You’re the only one he trusts.

He is super duper touchy, loyal, and will work himself until he passes out (literally).

*I do not own the pictures or the characters talked about in this post*

All likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated!

[rabberoth]

Guide to Safe and Consentual Worship

Anyone can participate in worship, and anyone can be worshipped. Demons, angels, voids, beings of light, celestial entities—basically the whole cosmic buffet of existence—can be worshipped. Deities, obviously. Gods, goddesses, you name it. The possibilities are endless.

But here’s the thing: there’s a proper way to do worship, and there’s a… let’s call it less-than-stellar way.

To keep things running smoothly and ensure the vibes stay healthy, I’ve put together a simple little guide. Nothing too fancy, just some tips to make sure the dynamics remain respectful.

1) Mutual Consent

Both parties must clearly discuss and agree on the terms of worship beforehand.

Outline what worship entails—whether it’s symbolic gestures, words of affirmation, or creative expressions—and ensure that both parties are comfortable.

2) Establishing Trust

It’s strongly recommended that worship only occur between individuals who have an established relationship or significant trust.

Clearly define what is acceptable and what isn’t for both parties.

Are there any topics or actions that should be avoided?

What are the roles and responsibilities of each party?

3) Avoiding Unhealthy Power Dynamics

Both parties are equals in the interaction. Worship is not about domination or subjugation but mutual respect.

The subject of worship must not use their perceived status to manipulate, demand, or exploit the worshipper.

Likewise, the worshipper must not idealize or pedestalize the subject of worship to an unhealthy degree.

4) Ensuring Emotional Safety

Communicate. Talk about boundaries, and check in with each other on how the dynamic feels.

Either party can revoke consent at any time.

5) Avoiding Parasociality

It’s difficult to maintain healthy boundaries with individuals you do not know or interact with directly!

Encourage any worship to occur in spaces where both parties can communicate openly to each other, rather than one-sided conversations and/or expressions.

Practical Tips for Worship

Avoid Material Demands: Worship should avoid including demands for gifts or other material items, as this can lead to exploitation.

Etiquette: Ensure respectful and kind interactions. The subject of worship should not tolerate harassment, and worshippers should not face excessive obligations they didn’t agree to.

Signs of Unhealthy Worship Dynamics

One party feels guilted or pressured to continue despite discomfort.

Emotional manipulation or demands for constant attention.

One-sided interactions where the worshipper idealizes the subject of worship without mutual acknowledgment.

If one person is putting in all the emotional effort while the other just takes (or demands), it’s time to check those boundaries.

Losing sight of the difference between a healthy connection and harmful dependency.

Unrealistic expectations.

Constant messages, demands for attention, or refusal to take “no” for an answer.

What to Do if You Spot These Signs

Communicate what’s making you uncomfortable.

If that doesn’t work, take a step back and reassess the situation.

If all else fails, walk away.

Remember, worship should be a source of positivity, growth, and connection—not stress, manipulation, or obligation. Worship isn’t bad, just make sure you’re doing it safely loves!

Stay safe out there!

[fishnapple]

Relationship Green flags/ Red flags

This list was a part of another post but I want to make a separated one for it, to serve as a reminder, for myself, and for anyone who needs it. I will update the list if I think of anything more to add.

Green flags

When the couple is also best friends with each other

When they're genuinely curious about each other

When two people walk side by side, not one in front and one behind

They protect each other in front of other people no matter how wrong the other person is (not counting abuse or other legal crimes), but still be able to see the wrong doings clearly.

When both partners put the other's well-being at the top of their priority list

When the first person comes to your mind when you want to share something good or bad is them

When there's a spark in the eyes when they look at the other person

Listen attentively when the other is talking

Ask how you feel

When both can feel comfortable being honest (able to voice their concerns, worries, fears, hidden dreams, aspirations etc.)

Encourage and support each other towards betterment

Celebrate each other's happiness

Keeping their words

Willingness in solving problems

When both are willing to compromise and work together/to face the ugly sides of the relationship or of the self and the other person/ to communicate/ to learn

When both are proactive in the relationship, taking turn to suggest fun things to do, where to go, what to eat etc

All kinds of virtues like honesty, patience, kindness, loyalty, respect, etc. (not just towards you only, but to others in general also)

Love children

Love animal

Consistency: putting in a consistent effort, not being wishy-washy

Fun & humour

Feeling safe in each other's presence

Respect for boundaries and consent

Emotional compatibility

The feeling of being at ease with each other & trust (you can have all the above but without these two feelings, it's kind of meaningless)

and many more.

Red flags

When one is talking and the other is looking elsewhere

When one is in front while the other is behind

Being judgmental and opinionated, about all kinds of topics

Criticising the other person's taste, hobbies, habits constantly. Especially in front of other people.

Calling names (not the cute endearments)

Cruelty & Violence of any kind (obviously)

Silent treatment (refusing to communicate)

Inconsistency

Being avoidant, ghosting (at this point it's not a red flag, it's an ending)

Empty promises. NATO (No Action - Talk Only)

Condescending

Tell you what you're feeling

Unwillingness to compromise/ to understand, unequal effort, one-sided conversations

Lack of care for the well-being of the other person

Lack of appreciation for the other person's achievements and success

When you're low on their priority list ("I will have time for you after I'm done with this or that, after I met with my friends and other important people in my life")

Feeling like you have to tip toe around the other person

Feeling like you have to do something to get the other's attention

Asking the other person for permission to do something like buying something, meeting someone, going somewhere (I'm not talking about getting consent to do something with each other or getting something related to the other person, it's about decisions that normally one can make independently for oneself)

Jealousy & possessiveness (the idea can seem attractive on paper but the reality is usually not)

Demanding to know every secret, every password, getting access to every personal space of the other person

Lack of respect for boundaries and consent

Passivity (waiting for the other to initiate, never initiate anything)

"Why are you doing this to me?", victim mindset, constant blaming

Dating someone while thinking that person is not attractive or up to one's level or vice versa, thinking that person is way above one's level (the idea of "level" is damaging, both ways of thinking can bring illusions, unrealistic expectations and power imbalance)

Lack a healthy sense of self

and many more.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Body Language

Body language - involves communication provided through nonverbal channels. This includes posture, facial expressions, eye movement/contact, proximity to others, and physical movements (Pease, 2017).

Body Language vs. Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication - includes all forms of communicative acts except speech.

Body language - a type of nonverbal communication. It lies under the umbrella of nonverbal communication, which encompasses a broader scope of communication (Milton & Randall, 2022).

One way to differentiate between the two is to think about body language as all the nonverbal communication that can be seen (Milton & Randall, 2022).

Nonverbal communication that is not considered body language (or cannot be seen) includes repetition of words or statements, vocal characteristics of speech such as tone and volume, and sounds that might not be considered words such as “hmm” and “uh-huh.”

Some types of body language include:

Facial expressions. The face is an extremely expressive form of body language, with the ability to communicate numerous emotions without a single word. From anger to anxiety, fear to grief, embarrassment to disgust, facial expressions are one form of nonverbal communication that is considered universal across cultures and species (Keltner, 2009).

Gestures. Hand, arm, and body gestures are part of daily life. So much so that now in video calls or online meetings, a hand gesture or arm movement can simulate a thumbs-up or heart emoji. Gestures can be positive, such as an “OK” signal, or negative. Gestures are largely cultural and may express different meanings depending on geography and ethnicity.

Posture. How an individual moves and holds themselves communicates information in subtle and powerful ways. Posture includes how someone sits, holds their head, stands, walks, and engages their physical stance.

Eye contact. Our visual sense is especially important in nonverbal communication. The way we look at others can communicate many things and help to improve or detract from the flow of conversation. Eye contact can convey affection, anger, attraction, and interest, among other things.

Physical touch. Physical touch is a powerful form of body language and nonverbal communication. From hugs to handshakes, touch demonstrates a variety of messages. Touch is also a very personal way to express interest, emotion, and engagement with others and can be received well or create discomfort and tension.

Personal space. Physical space in interactions is also a very personal aspect of body language. Our need for or comfort with it depends a great deal on culture, the specific relationship, personal preferences, past experience, and the given situation. Understanding other people’s boundaries is an important component of assessing the need for personal space.

As more interpersonal communication becomes virtual, it is important to be aware of how body language is portrayed on a screen. Some ideas to consider in virtual sessions include:

Make sure lighting is sufficient so clients and/or members can see facial expressions and pick up on body movement.

Be aware of posture. It is easy to get too comfortable behind a screen and hunch over. Have good support when sitting, staying upright and attentive.

Maintain healthy eye contact. It may be beneficial to shift between looking at the screen and looking directly at the camera to avoid uncomfortable stares.

Avoid touching the face and head too much, as this conveys insecurity and can be a distraction.

Smile and use warm facial gestures, as the face is the main thing people see in virtual meetings.

Use hand gestures. This will require the computer or recording device to be placed far enough away to capture some of the upper body.

Cultural differences in body language exist. Below are samples that have been observed. It is not an extensive list of all cultural differences in body language, but it demonstrates that ongoing education and awareness are important when working with others in personal and professional settings.

Hand gestures. A thumbs-up in Western cultures is a signal of “OK,” but in the Middle East it is a sign of “up yours.” Similarly, curling the index finger (a sign to move closer) is considered impolite and rude in areas such as China and the Philippines (Cortez et al., 2017).

Eye contact. Most Western countries view eye contact as a sign of confidence and interest. In many Middle Eastern countries, eye contact between sexes is deemed inappropriate, and in some Asian cultures, unbroken eye contact is seen as aggressive and confrontational (Cortez et al., 2017).

Touch. Northern Europe and Far East cultures engage in very little physical contact or touch, where physical touch is a large part of socializing in the Middle East and Latin America (Cortez et al., 2017).

Seated positions. In Japan, sitting cross-legged is a sign of disrespect, and showing the soles of the feet is offensive in Middle Eastern countries (Cortez et al., 2017).

Interpreting Body Language

Argyle (1978) was one of the first modern researchers to study nonverbal communication and believed that humans have more than 700,000 forms of body language. Some specific areas to note for interpreting body language include paying attention to the head, face, eyes, arms, and hands.

Head. Nodding when another person is speaking is a sign that you are focused and listening. It can demonstrate that you agree with or acknowledge what is being said and validate opinions. Tilting the head to one side is also a sign of attentive listening and respect. Both of these are considered positive gestures in conversation. A lowered head or head back with a rigid neck is a sign of a negative attitude, criticism, denial, or rejection. When someone is supporting their head with their hands, this is a sign of boredom and disinterest. And angling the chin upward is a sign of arrogance and dominance (Danesi, 2022).

Face. As most people know, smiling is an open, approachable facial gesture that indicates warmth and interest. On the other hand, frowning is a sign of anger, disinterest, or disagreement with what is being communicated. Raising the eyebrows is a sign of surprise, and raising a single eyebrow tends to be an expression of disbelief. Pursed lips tend to demonstrate anger, sorrow, or a lack of acceptance, depending on the situation (Danesi, 2022).

Eyes. It is often said that the eyes are the window to the soul. Eye contact is the basis for understanding in conversation. When eye contact is avoided, it may demonstrate discomfort, uncertainty, or shyness, or signal that the person has something to hide. When someone’s eyes are narrowed, it could indicate anger. Briefly closing the eyes and quickly opening them again is called confirmatory blinking and can indicate confirmation or approval of another person (Danesi, 2022). Narrowing the eyes can mean several things, such as confusion or a need for more information. It may also indicate concentration or anger. It is also important to notice the pupils. Dilated pupils can demonstrate interest and attraction, while widening the eyes can signal surprise or excitement.

Arms and hands. Upper body postures consist largely of the arms and hands, which are the most mobile and prominent demonstrations of body language. Crossing the arms is a way for someone to create distance and demonstrates a negative attitude (Danesi, 2022). When arms are crossed and the individual is gripping their upper arms, this signals tension and discomfort. Arms crossed with balled fists are also negative body language but signal aggression and anger. Putting hands on the hips can be a sign of aggression or dominance. Putting hands in pockets signals a lack of engagement and defensiveness (Danesi, 2022).

General Tips on Interpreting Body Language

In general, self-confident people frequently look at their reflection in mirrors or windows and place themselves in a position to be the center of discussion. People demonstrate confidence through large gestures, big postures, self-assured smiles, firm handshakes, and steady eye contact. Embarrassment, insecurity, and low confidence are seen through nervous laughter, avoidance of eye contact, turning away, and avoidance (Mandal, 2014).

Nonverbal cues of fear can be seen with wide eyes, clutching, and gripping. Holding the breath, glancing around, and placing hands in front of the body is also a sign of fear (Mandal, 2014).

People demonstrate resentment with crossed arms, a stiffened body, hunched shoulders, and low vocal tone (Mandal, 2014).

Sexual interest and attraction can be seen through eye contact, exaggerated facial gestures, blinking, wetting the lips, touching the body, or crossing and uncrossing legs (Mandal, 2014).

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Hand Movements ⚜ Common Gestures ⚜ Facial Expressions

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Gain & Maintain Respect

In your professional and academic life, romantic or sexual enthrallments, social life, or any relationship – most importantly, the one with yourself.

Decide your needs are valid and feel worthy of having these needs met.

Reflect and refine your most authentic core values in every area of your life and then be deliberate in aligning your actions with these values as much as possible.

Be honest about your non-negotiables in every aspect of your life. Establish boundaries with these needs in mind. Then learn to communicate them calmly and assertively to others. Uphold your boundaries when they're tested or challenged.

Approach any conflict, negotiation, or difficult conversation as an opportunity to help both parties understand each other and come away from the interaction with a mutually desirable outcome. Operate out from a place of seeking mutual benefit, not a win-lose mindset.

Depersonalize other people's actions and attitudes. Communicate from a place of empathy and your personal value-add rather than responding to protect your ego.

Be discerning with who and what you let into your life (friends, romantic relationships, professional opportunities, social ties, family members, etc.). See how your value system and ways of communicating/interacting align before diving head-first into an interpersonal commitment. Vet individuals carefully to confirm they'll enrich – not deplete – your overall quality of life.

Take accountability when warranted but don't overapologize. Focus on being solution-oriented, not problem-centric, when dealing with a negative outcome, consequence, or conflict.

When in a disagreement with a healthy-minded individual, encourage an open dialogue and hear their side without judgment before making any type of accusations. With that said, always prepare and know when to walk away from a person, relationship, opportunity, event, etc.

Maintain your health, well-being, and appearance. Prioritize a healthy diet, drinking plenty of water, daily movement/exercise, a full night's rest, mindfulness practices/therapy, a solid skincare routine, hair/beauty maintenance, clean and neat clothes that suit your personal style, etc.

Make time for activities and people you love. Schedule times for hobbies, indulgent rituals, social plans, etc. into your weekly calendar to ensure you're enjoying life as much as you realistically can. Owning your right to enjoy life is the ultimate sign of self-respect.

[mossangelll]

HII HOW R U?? I was wondering if u could make a yandere caitvi x reader(like a poly relationship). Just headcannons if u like!! I really love ur postss💗💗

Yandere!Caitvi x Reader Headcanons

i’m great, tysm for requesting! sorry it’s taken me a while to get to this ^^

i was gonna add a section on how they kidnap you (figured i’d use it for a different fic) and an nsfw section but i didn’t know if anyone wanted that so i skipped it this time

HOW THEY MEET YOU

ok so vi is the one who notices you first - at first, you’re just another person who blends into the crowd at her fights

but then she begins to see you at every single fight of hers without fail, always with a huge handmade sign that says something like “step on ME, vi” or “vi, you’re the BEST!”

she thinks it’s endearing how someone like you, so unassuming and cute, is hanging around shady dens like this just to support her

you manage to catch her at the bar after one of her fights and you two strike up an unlikely friendship

she starts to fall head over heels for you - you don’t seem to care or even notice that she’s a mess

in fact, you’re hellbent on fixing her and she can’t help but have massive heart eyes at this point even though she’d normally find something like this demeaning (she doesn’t need to be saved!)

all her life, she’s chased after the people she loved and prioritised their well-being and now someone’s finally doing the same for her

you make her feel so seen at a time in her life when she feels incredibly lost and worthless

however it’s at this point vi leaves the fighting scene and reconnects with cait - you gave her the strength to do so

vi always feels guilty about this but you’re always in the back of her mind, a hopeful what if to ponder on the lonely nights after a lover’s quarrel with cait

so it’s nothing short of serendipity when cait starts to come home later and later, talking about a new recruit who has potential that needs to be nurtured and look at that - it’s you

cait knows she needs to be faithful to vi, she would never dream of going behind her back, but she’s drawn to you in a way that simultaneously confuses her and excites her

she becomes your mentor and sees parts of herself in you and that just makes her obsession infatuation that much worse

cait blurs the line between appropriate behaviour between a subordinate and their junior; she shows up at your door randomly for a “work assignment” and pries into the private details of your love life

if she finds out you’re dating someone or interested in someone other than her, your work life becomes a living nightmare

you’ll constantly be admonished for the tiniest infractions simply because she’s wants you all to herself and doesn’t know how to express her emotions in a healthy way

vi can’t even find it in herself to be jealous when she sees the lustre in cait’s blue eyes, one that’s only reserved for her, starts to come out whenever she’s around you but she does feel left out, after all, vi found you first

the two end up having a conversation and realise that they can’t live without you in their lives - all to themselves, that is

OK TIME FOR WHAT THEY’RE LIKE IN A RELATIONSHIP

honestly i think vi is the one you can wrap around your pinkie finger - she has such a soft spot for the people she loves and she’s not afraid of making it known

you want more treats? she’ll sneak them in

you want to go outside? ok, but vi is handcuffing you to her and you can only stay out for five minutes

surprisingly she respects your boundaries and tries not to be overly affectionate with you when you don’t want to be, even if it kills her inside

don’t think you can ask to talk to family and friends though, that’s completely off-limits and you will see a sadistic side to vi she doesn’t normally let out

i imagine her punishments would be something to the effect of her saying extremely cruel and upsetting things to you to remind you of your place

she would also be into physical punishments like spanking but not anything that could really hurt you - she would have a breakdown if she hurt you to the point of serious injury and would never forgive herself

cait on the other hand is essentially the “bad cop” in this scenario, it’s not that she doesn’t love you, in fact i would say she’s probably more obsessed than vi is, it’s that she doesn’t want to risk anything bad happening to you whatsoever

she went lax on punishing zaunites and it ended up with her mother dead - she’s not taking any risks when it comes to you

it harder to tell with cait but she does try to show her affection, it’s just not as obvious as the way she acts to vi

she does like to be physically affectionate with you more than vi does but this too is very subtle

she likes to make these actions seem like a necessity when really it’s for her own satisfaction

e.g. she’ll hold you hand and profess it’s because “you might fall over” even though you can see the faint blush on her cheeks - you’re both aware it’s a terrible lie but are equally too embarrassed to mention it

like in my other work, her shows of affection come from giving you books, painting lessons and expensive clothes, etc. - she wants to nurture your talents and expose you to the finer things in life that you’ve missed out on

she lowkey has a superiority complex when it comes to this lmao but i think she does it all to mask her deep insecurities

she doesn’t want to seem weak in front of her darling

her punishments are more harsh. i feel like she would put you in isolation and leave you hungry if you refuse to abide by her or vi’s rules

i hc that this stems from her childhood; her mother would withhold affection (maybe not to this extent) whenever she misbehaved and this way of thinking carried over to adulthood

this means that caitlyn and vi do tend to argue over what they think is best for you and it lowkey gives divorced parents energy - they’re constantly trying to prove themselves right

it’s a very volatile environment to be in

imo this is kinda cait and vi’s way of flirting too 😭 in the aftermath they look back on it like ‘awww she cares so much about our darling she’s willing to fight over them - so cute!’

their relationship stays mostly the same as it was before just a lil more intense

they’d both be yandere for each other, it just manifests a lot more strongly with you

like, they know they can look after themselves but you’re so weak they need to go above and beyond to ensure their most precious darling is safe

they both plan detailed daily routines for you and you’re micromanaged down to the smallest details: how long you can sleep for, the food you eat, the exercises you do, the clothes you wear, the people you can interact with

in my mind, this takes place at the end of s2 so you live with them in cait’s mansion - they’ve both experienced a LOT of trauma which contributes to them developing a codependent relationship and having to drag someone else into their mess

it’s definitely a stifling relationship and it feels like you’re never truly alone, if for some reason they can’t be there with you there’ll always be a trusted maid or enforcer keeping tabs on you

omg wait they definitely give you a diary and say it’s private but at the end of the night they’ll read through it to see if you’re planning anything they wouldn’t agree with

cait came up with the idea and vi thinks it’s a violation of your privacy but she goes along with it anyway

would never admit it but secretly it’s her favourite time of the day (if she respects your physical boundaries, she’s gotta break some other boundaries - give her a break!)

they just want to patch up the pain they feel from all the losses they’ve had to deal with and unfortunately for you, you’re their bandages

masterlist

[contentloadingandstuff]

Relationship Headcanons - Ganyu x Male!Reader

A/N1: This is a new format, and as such, it includes just one character. Do you think it's comprehensive enough, or is there something I missed?

A/N2: When I looked for a gif for this one, I found that the gif I used in the "at the dead of night" Ganyu fic is one of the first results when you search up her name. Nice to know I have somewhat of an impact, small as it may be.

A/N3: While I was thinking of making a Christmas special, I decided that the best gift for you guys would just be getting posts out more regularly - so I will post them at least twice a week for the next three weeks at the very least. Anyway, happy Christmas, and enjoy!

Loving Ganyu requires patience and the gentlest approach, but her affection eventually blossoms on its own. She just needs a bit of time and guidance - it's her first time, after all. 

Being a notoriously hardcore worker, at first she'll be absent from home for most of the day. Her work-life balance is completely off the rails, and Ganyu will need all the help she can get in overcoming her centuries old habits. Now she has someone, remind her. Tell her that this special someone cares for her very much and would rather not see her worn out like an old pair of boots each night. 

An important skill you have to teach her is saying the word “no”. “No, I won't accept overtime”. “No, I have plans this evening”. “No, putting the entirety of Qixin paperwork on my shoulders is not ethical or healthy - Ningguang needs more than three secretaries”. In time, Ganyu will find it in herself to set healthy boundaries on how much she works. True, helping Liyue grow and prosper is her passion, but enough is as good as a feast. 

Walk alongside her on this road. Visit her at work, if only to give her a simple kiss on the forehead. Make sure she comes up from the underworld of bureaucracy to the real world. Bring her light snacks. Ask her about her day. Remind her that there is someone waiting for her back home - she will appreciate that beyond words. 

Working for the Liyue Qixing means basically swimming in Mora - especially that Ganyu leads a rather humble lifestyle. She does, however, live in a very nice multi-story house with a large garden in the most scenic part of Liyue Harbor, with a skeleton crew of staff to maintain in her absence (that being most of the time). But besides that, her expenditures are very small and everything she doesn't need or put aside, she donates to charity. 

While having a boyfriend is nice, she would feel much better if she’d be able to refer to you as her husband instead. Especially that she would prefer to save herself for the wedding night, and make your first “proper” time really beautiful and special. Ganyu is also a bit subservient to you, used to the idea that the husband is the head of the house - no matter if she has more money. At the same time, she is happy to be taken care of and protected, so as long as you treat her right, she’ll be comfy. 

While Ganyu isn't one to insist on much in a relationship, she will encourage you to live with her. Her house is big and quite empty… Having you there would liven it up and surely make it much cozier. Coming home to a warm hug and a kiss from her lover is a dream come true…

In terms of past times, well… Ganyu doesn't have much. Her work is her main pastime, or was anyway, and she didn't really see a reason to look for other things to do in her spare time. Just a few conversations with you made her realise that, while you have a broad range of things to talk about, she doesn't quite compete in that regard. Hundreds of years of paperwork made poor Ganyu quite a one-note person, but she will work on that, don't worry. 

And so she will frequently come up with things to do, together. Would you like to go to a museum? Or see a movie from Fontaine? You don't have to go with her, but… It would be really nice if you did!

Have any problems at school or at work? Personal Secretary Ganyu is on the case! She's had lots of experience in all sorts of matters and will gladly put it to use in helping out her favourite person succeed. She's a patient teacher and never raises her voice, no matter how hard it is for you to learn or do something. With her backing you up, nothing is impossible. 

Ganyu, by her own admission, gains weight easily, so while the urge to fatten her up with love and Qixins is huge, she'll be grateful if you hold your horses. Her thoughts always spiral into self consciousness about weight, so it might be a good idea not to include chocolate. However, a more tender approach to her and her beautiful body - with countless kisses and words of affirmation - may change her outlook on herself. If you do get her something to eat, make sure to feed her - she couldn't say no to you. 

Arguments with Ganyu are white crows in your day-to-day life. Being a timid and easy going person, it takes an impossible amount of pressure to make Ganyu lose her composure. If that somehow happens, she will be so upset that her anger will almost instantly fade into tears. She just cannot fight with you. You mean far, far too much for her to be angry. No matter if it's her fault or yours, she will end up apologising for it profusely, hoping to get past this dreadful road bump. Ganyu knows that she is prone to doing this, and will try to be a bit more decisive, only to fail spectacularly. No matter - she trusts you to never abuse that part of her character. 

And don't you dare, Ganyu has to be protected at all costs. 

At home, she’s a quiet and busy presence - even if it happens to be that time of the month. Ganyu doesn’t really struggle with illnesses or bodily discomfort that much, for which she is really thankful to the fates. At most, when afflicted by either, she’ll get extra sleepy and will love some extra cuddles to make the pains go away. 

You are probably the only person in Teyvat that has the right to touch her horns. They are indeed sensitive, but with the right guidance, the feelings of having these caressed are simply divine. Having their horns touched is a very intimate experience for Qilin, and Ganyu is no different. It will always be in bed, cuddled into each other and falling asleep, or while engaging in more lively bedroom activities. 

Ganyu has some friends and family, and they are quite happy to keep an eye on her. Xianyun will make sure that you are a proper man worthy of her disciple’s hand, and when she does confirm that fact, expect to hear all about Ganyu’s early life, as well as past hobbies and habits; knowing them might prove useful even in the present day. She will also make frequent visits, if that’s something you are okay with. Shenhe, on the other hand, will not follow you around per se - not you as a couple, that is. Because she will keep an eye on you. If you ever raise your hand at Ganyu, expect to be skewered and served at the next Lantern Rite’s banquet. But as with Cloud Retainer, if you prove yourself to be a good man, expect the same level of protection for yourself - Shenhe knows that your safety is Ganyu’s happiness, and if anything were to happen to you, her adoptive sister would cry her soul out. 

Zhongli, being Zhongli, will gladly officiate the wedding. 

The secretary is a girl that goes to sleep and wakes up early. She eats healthy and exercises just enough to keep herself from rusting over. Her house is perfectly clean, both thanks to her own efforts and those of her staff, and full of well-tended plants. She's a neat, well-organized and healthy little goat. If it makes you feel bad for your own lifestyle (and it should), Ganyu will be happy to help you care for yourself by cooking healthy meals for you, reminding you of your goals and helping you be consistent. For what? Why, for the delightful moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and finally smile at all the work you have done. Your happiness is her happiness. 

Acts of service are her form of love. If you happen to come home later than her, you'll arrive to a nice bowl of warm soup, held by your dear wife. You casually mentioned that you need to, say, iron your shirt tomorrow? Ganyu's got you - even if she had to wake up that little bit earlier to do it. Maybe you're talking about a difficult achievement in one of your video games? If you teach her how to help, she'll be glad to tune in and grind with you. Whenever you act surprised at her actions, or say that she ‘didn’t have to’, Ganyu will always reply with a kind smile and reassurance - she does it because she loves you. 

She's the most receptive to physical touch. Sometimes things are going badly and the reasons for it are exhausting to put into words. Those days Ganyu would like nothing more than a simple embrace, your hand in hers, a gentle kiss on the forehead. Your touch reminds her that everything will be alright, and that she does not have to brave the world alone anymore. 

Thanks for reading!

[yannaryartside]

CARMY IS NOT AN AVOIDANT

A brief revision of attachment styles

This may be a little random, and I may be wrong, but I'm a little frustrated with the people, especially those who support Clairexcarmy, who say Carmy is an avoidant, and that's where the conflict lies in their relationship. Additionally, this directly dismisses the other factors at play, such as the fact that Claire is a parallel to Donna or the superficiality of their relationship. But for now, let's get back to attachment styles.

I'm not a psychologist, but I have been reading this book, and I have a few thoughts. @thoughtfulchaos773 wrote an excellent essay covering Carmy's pursuit of Sydney, and his examination of her in conversations, which I revisited while thinking about this. The GIFs in this post also belong to that post.

Attachment styles refer to the ways in which individuals approach and respond to intimacy. For me, Carmy is not an avoidant; if he is, perhaps he is anxious-avoidant, but that type is quite rare, and I think he mostly falls into the anxious attachment style. I will not be quoting the book here but I will get you some definitions that align with it.

An anxious attachment style is characterized by a strong desire for closeness and intimacy in relationships, coupled with a fear of abandonment and rejection

Anxious attachment styles are also more common in people with abusive or narcissistic parents. For what we know, Donna despised Carmy since his birth, and an anxious attachment style correlates more with a person who never bonded safely with their caregiver.

I didn't see one Clairexcarmy scene that displayed avoidance of intimacy. If anything, once he let himself believe he could have a girlfriend, he leaned so heavily into the intimacy Claire gave him that he didn't realize Claire was love-bombing him. The relationship is superficial, yes, but the intimacy feels real, at least for Carmy, even if they don't really know each other. There is not a single scene where Claire is like "let's do this" and Carmy says no, not even when it would have been a natural response or clear boundaries, like the frat party or being absent from the restaurant. He is so desperate for intimacy that he doesn't realize the parts of himself that suffer because of it, and that includes the panic attacks he gets because of her.

Carmy is also in alignment with the mindset of an abused child, some of whom avoid conflict at all costs. He is trapped in the freeze response, which is something you feel when you are in danger. He developed that response by being paralyzed by fear in front of his mother, unpredictable and violent displays of rage.

But it is in his interactions with Syd, one of the most genuine relationships he has, the one based on a healthy dynamic, that his anxious attachment tends to show the most. He stresses a lot when he notices her retreating from him. He wants to please her, and when his efforts to create intimacy with her don't work, he gets quite defensive and combative. That's kinda the root of lines like "This is what you wanted" and "I gave you what you wanted." His brain is basically yelling at him: "You are not doing enough for this person to love you," like he felt with his mother, which of course hurts him.

All this is extremely interesting to me, because you know who I would actually consider an avoidant?

Sydney!

One of the most common romantic pairs (and sometimes quite damaging) is an anxious person paired with an avoidant person. I would love if the show were totally dedicated to exploring this dynamic between Sydney and Carmy, because there is a lot to untangle.

There was this post about how Sydney never tells her father that she loves her, never out loud. She was also unable to look Marcus in the eye after he asked her out. And what does Sydney do every time Carmy tries to talk about something in her life outside work? She changes the subject or fails to fully engage. Funny enough, both when they are making pasta and in this scene, cutting fruit, Carmy asks something about her dad, and in both scenes, Sydney changes the subject.

This may be a clue as to where this avoidance originates. I think it is fair to say that Sydney is not always the most transparent with her father. I think she feels that she can't show all her fears and worries because she either doesn't want to appear as lost as she feels, or she believes that sharing them may make the situation worse. I don't have enough to make a conclusion about it, but she didn't get that sentiment of "It's scary to rely on someone" out of thin air. We don't see her having friends. I think she was pretty lonely growing up, or maybe it has to do with the failed romantic relationship she had. For all of this, I would call her an insecure avoidant.

Individuals with this style tend to prioritize independence and self-sufficiency, often struggling with intimacy and emotional closeness in relationships. They may have difficulty expressing their feelings and may push others away to avoid feeling vulnerable.

The thing is, Sydney is also emotionally mature and patient, which gives Carmy the reassurance he needs. Scenes like the table scene also show how she reaches for intimacy and vulnerability with him, but only when she feels secure enough to do so. Which is also the reason why, at this moment in the show, they are at an impasse. She cannot be truthful unless she feels secure, but perhaps she needs to value herself to resolve their conflicts instead of waiting; she doesn't trust herself to make choices, even emotionally.