#anti rad queer

[lilliaace]

I have zero idea how old you are, so I'm going to try to make this as easy to understand as possible.

Keep in mind, I'm 30, been involved heavily in the BDSM community since 2012, and am a health educator, kink educator, and fetish educator. WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY (and having worked in healthcare for damn near 10 years), let's get into it.

There are SAFE ways to explore potentially rough or 'dangerous' quirks, kinks, fetishes, and/or BDSM related curiosities that DO NOT involve fantasizing and/or romantcizing serious harm to people.

Case in point, the porn community has RUINED and destroyed the fact that there's an actual difference between "CNC" (consensual non consent"), "free use", and "rough sex". Let's educate EVERYONE here so there's no "but what about"-isms.

Free use: Consensually telling your partner "you can have sex with me any time outside of barrier/parameters pre-established (like can only occur inside the home), but the scene can stop at any time if I drop a safe word (like "pineapple" for lack of better phrasing, thanks Tiktok).

Rough sex: Roughly engaging in sexual acts with partner, often involving teeth, scratches, some kind of impact play device (like a paddle or whip), possible electrical play (like a tens unit or violet wand), possible fire play (with proper safety involved to not leave serious burns), possible ice play (again, proper safety to not leave permanent damage), etc. THERE IS A STRONG EMPHASIS ON SAFETY AND CONSENT to keep everyone as safe as possible. Some communities refer to this as "edge play" as in "you're walking the knife's edge with safety". But some people interpret "edge play" as "orgasm denial and control", so read the context when you come across this type of play. Safe words can still be dropped to end a scene.

CNC (consensual non consent): Formally known as biastophilia, it is the fetish or kink (strong orgasm desire) to sexually harm a cause serious injury to a partner. It can be as 'light' as SEVERE verbal degradation (not going to put explicit examples here, think of a verbal abuser from a partner that involves dehumanizing) or as severe as rape/sexual assault (forcing your organ in them), broken bones, etc. When it come to the porn scene, a lot of CNC scenes are DIFFICULT to shoot (attempt rape, gang rape, rough shoving between sexual partners, severe sensory overload OR deprivation, attempt kidnapping, blow jobs to the point of vomiting, potential no lube anal sex, organs prolaping on the penis due to trauma, etc.). There is a reason why even PROFESSIONAL ACTORS in the adult industry (XXX) have serious trouble shooting a lot of these scenes and require SIGNIFICANT aftercare. MANY tap out, again due to the psychological natural consequences that happen during these scenes.

Once you are legally of age (again, I'm making this post for a safety perspective for ALL blog viewers here), you can SAFELY and LEGALLY navigate BDSM circles to learn HOW to manage all three above (Fet...e, local workshops, local munches, reading books about how to do these things safely, watching interviews online with real performers and sex workers of all kinds, safely navigate XXX spaces online, etc.).

If you are legally a minor (17 and younger for most areas, it's when a court no longer deems you a dependent on your parent/guardian figure, NOT age of consent), STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THESE SPACES UNTIL YOU ARE OF LEGAL AGE! It is fine to have curiosities, fantasies, kinks, fetishes, etc. develop during your pre-teen and teen years because your hormones are going crazy. IT IS NOT OKAY to force yourself into these adult spaces.

Child predators(creeps) exist, point blank. Adults who want to do horrible things to pre-teens and teens exist, point blank. We want to keep minors out of these spaces TO KEEP Y'ALL SAFE. Stop pretending that "you're the exception" to grooming or anything like this. YOU ARE NOT. Child predation is an EPIDEMIC online for a reason.

DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF into BDSM spaces, kink spaces, and/or fetish spaces online. IT IS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!

For the love of fuck, drop the radqueer bullshit that's just straight up albeist nonsense and a slap in the face to those who suffer from these real life horrific things that often lead to severe cptsd, ptsd, potential victims of child trafficking, victims of child creeps/predators, etc.

People have sadism thoughts. People have masochistic thoughts. It's about HOW YOU LEARN to SAFELY navigate these waters with a CONSENTING partner when BOTH of you are legal adults. This is why BDSM safety workshops and spaces online exist.

[gray-ace-space]

recently encountered a post where someone said "gender is fluid but sexuality isn't". (they were talking about bi lesbians.)

my first thought was: does that person, like. hear what they're saying? how can you explicitly hold two beliefs that are so logically inconsistent and not see it? how can you simultaneously think gender is this fluid and complex thing, but sexuality, much of which is defined around gender, is simple and stationary and its boundaries need policing?

but like, fuck, why even argue against it, right? there is no internal logic because there is no logical thought behind it. these are not genuine beliefs. this person is repeating what is currently acceptable in their (small) specific social circle. this is the same person who, a few years back, would be excluding nonbinary lesbians, but nonbinary lesbians are cool and normal on queer tumblr now, so they'll exclude bi lesbians instead, and not even pause to reflect on the difference.

oh, and if you read this and thought "these people don't even actually accept nb lesbians either", ding ding ding! because it's not a real, deep belief, that acceptance is extremely shallow and conditional. so as soon as someone is an nb lesbian in a way these people find odd (like being both a man and a lesbian) they will exclude them too and find a way to justify it.

why do we have to endlessly go through this cycle with queer identities. can we not? can we just not. i'm tired.

[1nky-quill]

I love the diversity of trans people

I love how each and every one of us has our own unique experience with our queerness

It truly inspires me every time to think about it, because even if all of us are different in one way or another we’re still part of the same community, we’re still a family in a sense.

That’s why is saddens me when I see so many other queer people cast people from the community because their experience with their gender and sexuality doesn’t align with their own experiences/what they expect that person’s experience to be.

Please love other trans people, all other trans people, because we only have each other, and I think it’s very special that we all have a different experiences with expression and sexuality.

[bupsafr3ak]

DarlGroomer

when an individual thinks their darling should be / is a groomer !

[kittiegun]

oh also you cant be punk and exclusionist the whole point of being punk is to rebel against the boxes that society forces us into and you're a poser

[gnometa233]

Hey isn't it crazy how radqueers who think labels don't mean anything call other lgbtq people cishet bootlickers when I've heard both them and bigoted cishets agree that lesbians can sleep with men? Isn't that the literal definition of trying to appeal to cishets, by devaluing labels and saying that anyone can be queer? Funny how that works.

[kowaiqueer]

Trans schizophrenia flag(inspired by schizophrenia flag)

An transabled identity where one feels they should have schizophrenia

[the-alarm-system]

Are exclus stupid on purpose, I can see the entitled whiteness radiating off this anon

[doomgendr]

I have a proposition for a bi-lesbian symbol, and it's the Lilith symbol "⚸". Here's why.

(under the cut)

my first thought when i saw the symbol of Lilith, was that it's a mix between the double venus ( ⚢ ) and the double crescent ( ☽☾ ) symbol. therefore...

☽☾+⚢ = ⚸ !

i've always known about the tale of Lilith and how she was cast away to flee the garden of eden in many a religious myth, and the reasoning behind her being "turned into a demon".

she is a symbol of rugged feminine strength, self-protection, and assertiveness. in many myths, she "disobeyed" adam (fought back against abuse/sexual assault and would not submit) and was banished from the garden of eden to become a "she-demon".

i believe that her story feels somewhat similar to how we as bi-lesbians are treated and percieved in our communities and throughout history, measured in worth by our proximity to men, sexualized, fetishized, cast out to make our own spaces, violently hated, threatened, abused, harrassed, demonized, and seen as harmful just by existing and asserting ourselves, even though we aren't "harmful". we're just people asserting our equality like lilith "was".

this is precisely why i decided that her symbol symbolizes us as bisexual lesbians! i hope people pick up my idea, i put a lot of thought and effort into it :)

⚸⚸⚸

-kaz

[heavenlyachivement009]

Bi lesbians (and people who use other lesbaphobic labels) will scream from the mountain tops about how inclusive they are and how they make the queer community sooo safe n better but would rather die than listen to actual lesbians and bisexuals explain how lesbaphobic, biphobic, and transphobic they are.

[Note: No babez this isn't TE.RF rhetoric and no I'm allowed to focus on multiple issues at once don't bother using anti-trans laws as a scapegoat to derail from this post.]

[lilliaace]

As a 30 year old who stumbled on this bullshit, I genuinely believe a lot of this crap is the sum of a shitty storm coming together:

Teens desperate to find community and where they fit in (blame biology)

Teens trying to "our edgelord each other"

Having access to books like Kxlling Stxalking and similar manga/light novels, and literally not having the brain capacity to understand that in no way shape or form is toxic relationships/abusive relationships are some weird form of "dark romance" and therefore savable in the real world when in reality THESE RELATIONSHIPS WILL MAKE YOU be a permanent vegetable OR on the morgue. YOU CAN NOT FIX THEM.

This is not healthy. This is not safe. You doom scrolling on the "transabled" and similar BS tags IS CAUSING ACTIVE HARM.

Parents, please, for the love of fuck, stay somewhat aware of what your kids are doing online.

[gray-ace-space]

a lot of the asks coming into this blog are in the tone of, "is this allowed?"

"am i allowed to call myself X, even though Y?" "am i allowed to be here?" "am i allowed to feel this way?" guys i am not a cop. you don't need to ask permission.

this is not meant negatively! i understand that sometimes you just feel doubt and like you don't belong or you're alone, and need someone to affirm you, and i am so honored and happy to be that someone.

but just to be safe i made you this permit. free to use without credit. you're welcome.

[bupsafr3ak]

Darlpossessive

when an individual thinks their darling should be / is possessive !

[emotional-moss]

there are no rules to gender and sexuality and every time you say there are, another gay male woman and lesbian man appears out of thin air. and they kiss. btw

[tinylambnursery]

i love when exclusionists are like “hehe, go outside and see how society treats you 🤓 you wouldn’t last 5 minutes at pride” and they’re just outing themselves as the ones who never go outside because people at pride events in real life don’t care what you are lmao. they act like if you’re a lesboy at pride you’re gonna be publicly shamed or something. honestly the worst you’d get is someone asking how your identity works, which isn’t a bad question to ask.

exclusionists, please, you are the ones who need to go outside. idk what pride events yall are going to but it’s not the same ones we’re going to, lmao.

[anarchistbarbiedoll]

The entirety of tumblr is going to cancel me for saying this but as a monosexual lesbian, mspec lesbians and lesboys are 100% real and valid. Their existence does not make them horrible people. Your boogeyman doesn't exist. Exclusionist and terf ideals do not belong in lesbianism.