#aromantic exclusion

[luaminesce]

It's nearly 2024; can we not do ace discourse this year.

[stiffyck]

Since it's pride month I think people should remember the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for identities such as aromantic, asexual, etc.

It does not stand for ally.

[styrofauxm]

look. i'm sorry. really sorry for not just letting this die. but it bugs me. so suffer i guess.

If I saw a canonically trans character and said "well I prefer to write them as cis" people would be pissed at me, for good reason.

If I saw a canonical trans woman/man character and wrote them as a demigirl/boy and said "while the show just says she/he's trans, not that she/he's a trans woman/man" people would be pissed at me, also for good reason.

If a character was directly implied to be trans, and the creator confirmed later that they were meant to be trans, and I went "well it wasn't said explicitly in the show so it's not canon," people would be pissed at me, for good reason.

If the majority of a fandom did those things, we could collectively agree that the fandom is really transphobic.

You can sub this out for any queer identity with mainstream representation, and probably non-queer identities too.

So why is it considered acceptable to do these things to aspec characters?

Why are ships contrary to aspec identities the only ships against a character's canon queer identity that get popular?

Why are aspec people the only ones that get consistent ship discourse over our real identities?

Why are aspec people the only ones asked to sit back and take it?

Why is it on aspec people to not ruin allo people's fun in fandom, but allo people are allowed to ruin ours?

(The answer to all of the above is: aspec identities are viewed by other queer people as functionally straight and are treated as such)

[knifearo]

"asexual discourse" is so funny cause dude that's not discourse and it's never been discourse. it's not an argument and it's not a conversation bitches are just yelling at us unprompted and then making up people to get mad at 😭

[tikycuki]

the way I explain that aros/aces aren't straight.

You can only be straight/hetero if you experience attraction (sexual/romantic) to the opposite gender. If you experience attraction to anyone else that does not fit that description, you are lgbt. this means aros/aces and all on those spectrums are not straight. because they don't feel attraction to the opposite gender.

of course, this doesn't mean you can't be hetero/ace or aro/hetero. you can still be one aspec identity and be hetero, it doesn't make you any less lgbtq!

(sorry if I explained weirdly)

[reddogcollar]

[theartofangirling]

aces and aros should be allowed to talk about our experiences without having it make them understandable or palatable to allos. we should be able to make stupid in-jokes that are incomprehensible to others. we should be able to be ambiguous or annoying or silly or confusing about our identities without having to explain ourselves

[autuboho]

*two people love each other romantically but they aren’t a couple*

People: “ that’s not friendship ”

“ that’s friendzone ”

“that’s s i t u a t i o n s h i p”

“Love and friendship don’t mix together. There’s no such friendship, it doesn’t exist.”

*two people love each other platonically but they are a couple*

People: “ that’s not a relationship”

“that’s friendzone”

“that’s s i t u a t i o n s h i p”

“If there no love and romance what a relationship is?”

[finitepiano]

I think I just figured out what flavor of Asexual I am,

I understand that some other asexuals are sex repulsed or simply not interested in reading equal content. I read those types of things, and it always made me feel a bit weird whenever thinking harder about it. But learning that your specific branch of identity has a label and shared experience beyond the umbrella term of asexualtiy is new to me.

Aegosexual is quite the name, but I think it fits.

Aegosexual classifies people who experience a disconnect between themselves and the subject of arousal. This enables them to experience sexual attraction, arousal, and desire in response to sexual stimuli, yet they have little or no desire to engage in sexual activity with anyone.

-cxomedia.com

[thecrowncrow]

i NEED March to love me

not for romantic reasons, but because i think having a little crush on my farmer would make him Very Angry and that's funny

[not-that-debonair]

This is personal but it’s something I really don’t see talked about.

Being aroace and realising you potentially want kids in the future can feel so incredibly daunting. It can feel like two aspects of you that just can’t coexist practically as there is no precedent there.

Not wanting a partner in the future obviously makes ‘standard’ conception a bit difficult but also basically bars you from adopting (at least where I live). And alternative methods of conception come with their own multitude of challenges.

And then there’s the feeling that you’d never be able to do it on your own. Single parenting carries its own social stigma, regardless of the situation that leads to it. There’s an unjustified but unfortunately still present feeling; Are you being selfish? Would it be unfair? And not to mention what family (or anyone else) would say about you choosing to raise a kid alone. You know it shouldn’t matter but it does.

It also feels difficult to reconcile it with your identity, even if that sounds strange. Wanting kids is so scarcely mentioned in aro/ace circles. It goes against the ‘happy on my own’ narrative. Having kids is implied to be another aspect of the amatonormative culture that we reject. But that isn’t always the case.

I don’t really have a conclusion to this, I just wanted to get some thoughts out. It’s quite personal and it’s late at night so things may not be worded perfectly. That said, I welcome any other perspectives on the topic.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

tw discussion of aphobia and sexuality

One thing I absolutely love about Hazbin Hotel is the diversity of representation in it. However I do note a lack of respect for that same diversity in the Fandom and it infuriates me. Yes, I am primarily talking about Alastor. Alastor is canonically AroAce. There seems to be a complete disregard for that in a large portion (though not all of course) of the Fandom. I've seen him shipped with Lucifer, Vox, Rosie, and Angel. I also want to say I've seen him shipped with Charlie and Vaggie, though, fortunately, not particularly commonly. Now I do understand that desire and attraction are not necessarily synonymous. Dude, I’m aro (specifically demi-ro) and allos3xual ( bi specifically), I'm familiar. I also know QPRs are a thing. However the implications in the vast majority of shipping posts is not that a desire (without attraction) is being filled or that the relationship is a QPR. It is an implication of romantic and/or (usually and) s3xual attraction and chemistry. Also in addition to the attraction situation there's another issue I have with these ships, I would say canonically it is implied that Alastor is not only AroAce, but is also sex repulsed (I'm not going to go into my arguments for that in this post, but maybe in another). Now if you're looking at me going “Didn't the creator say we could ship anybody with anybody” or “it doesn't really matter,” Let me put a question to you. If you saw a character who was canonically confirmed to be lesbian, and a large portion of people in the Fandom started constantly shipping her with every single man in the cannon, would you still have this same level of apathy? I doubt it. If people were excusing it with “it’s just my headcanon ” or “the creator said we can ship anybody” would that change anything? No that would still be lesbian erasure I'm pretty sure I'd be seeing a lot of posts with people up in arms about it, right? Why aren't we bringing the same energy here. It's the same thing. This is AroAce erasure. Now if you're saying, and I've seen people say this kind of thing, “it's just a character it doesn't matter. Pick something that does,” Yes it does matter. There are very, very few confirmed AroAce characters, just in general. We know that representation matters. Also aphobia is a problem not only outside, but also inside of the LGBTQ + community. There are people who tell aro and ace people they aren’t really part of the LGBTQ+ community, even to the extent of not allowing them in LGBTQ+ spaces. Our character representation deserves the same respect as yours. We deserve respect.

[softichill]

One of the funniest justifications I've heard for thinking people are in a relationship is "They hold hands" Like. Okay??? I hold hands with my friends all the time. Why is handholding suddenly an exclusively romantic thing

[plutonicbees]

happy ace awareness week w iconic aroace fav, georgia warr from loveless 🖤💜🤍💚