#at first i didn’t see the appeal in his character but then i heard his voice lines and he’s literally so fucking funny bro

[refiwrites]

Ceasefire

Pairing: Ao'nung x Sully! Fem! Reader

Requested?: Yes.

Summary: Your father had asked for Uturu from the Awa'atlu village, but it was far from feeling like a sanctuary when a certain Metkayina boy always seemed to be getting on your nerves, and you could tell he was enjoying it.

Word count: 3.6k

Warning/s: ATWOW spoilers, enemies to lovers? ao'nung being a bully, that one fight scene lmao, mentions of injury and wounds, ronal being scary

Note: shoutout to ao'nung for being the first avatar character i wrote for that surpassed two thousand words 🥴 i am not down bad. Anyways likes, reblogs, and feedbacks are most welcome and appreciated!

GIF is mine!

You stood along with your brothers as your father faced Tonowari and Ronal, the Olo’eyktan and the Tsahìk of the Awa’atlu village. All of you simultaneously signed your greetings.

“Why have you come to us, Jake Sully?” Tonowari asked, holding his staff firm.

“We seek Uturu.” Jake said.

“Uturu?” Ronal repeated, seemingly appalled. You and your siblings glanced at each other, unsure of what’s to come.

“A sanctuary, for my family.” He explained.

Tonowari almost fought back a chuckle, extending his arm out, as if to point towards you. “We are reef people. You are forest people; your skills will mean nothing here.”

You shifted in your place as Ronal walked along you, inspecting. “Well, we can learn your ways, alright?” Jake said, looking at his family. “Yes.” Your mother, Neytiri confirmed.

Ronal then turned to face Tuk, lifting her arm. “Their arms are too thin.” She comments, earning a small “Mom…” from Tuk herself.

“Their tails… are weak, you will be slow in the water.”

You flinched as you felt Ronal grab your tail, you frowned, moving her hand away from your tail. “Watch it..” You say under your breath, looking up, you made eye contact with that one boy earlier, who was making fun of Neteyam and Lo’ak’s tails.

 He was smiling at you funny, as if mocking you. He shakes his head at you, chuckling before turning his head to whisper something to his friend, which sent them both laughing.

You furrowed your brows at him, rolling your eyes. You didn’t like him already.

After what felt like forever, Tonowari and Ronal finally agreed to let your family stay.

“Toruk Makto and his family will stay with us.” Tonowari announced amongst his clan, a breath you didn’t know you had been holding was exhaled.

“Treat them as our brothers and sisters— They do not know the sea; so, they will be like babies, taking their first breath.”

You kept your eyes fixated on the ground.

“Teach them our ways so they do not suffer the shame of being useless.” Tonowari finished, and you can just about feel his gaze on all of you.

“Okay, what do we say?” Jake said, looking at all of you.

“Thank you.” Tuk was the first one, followed by you and Neteyam, then Lo’ak and Kiri.

“My son, Ao’nung and my daughter, Tsireya will show your children what to do.”

Your eyes looked up to see the same boy from earlier, making your eyes go wide. He was the chief’s son? That explains the attitude. You both made eye contact again before he steps up to appeal to his father.

“Father why would yo—” You heard him speak before he was cut off by his own.

“It is decided.”

“Come! I will show you our village.” His sister, Tsireya approached with a huge smile on her face, making your heart feel a little at ease. You were thankful somehow that his sister was kind.

After a few days of settling in, the lessons began.

You weren’t thrilled to see the chief’s son, to say the least, and you were pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

The first was when they (mostly Tsireya) encouraged you to swim together.

You stood as you watched the three dived into the ocean so easily.

“Come on, come on!” Neteyam urged you and Lo’ak, making a run for it before jumping off the edge. The two of you followed, yelling out before hitting the water.

Then you were swallowed by the ocean, you opened your eyes to see all kinds of fishes and reefs around you. You swam a bit further, watching the creatures around you swim so gracefully.

Then you saw Lo’ak pointing towards where Tsireya was and you and Neteyam followed, moving your arms to swim towards them.

You followed, but then the need to breathe got stronger as you faced your siblings. You pointed up and they were quick to understand.

Reaching the surface, you gasped for air, so did your brothers. You noticed the others didn’t follow, so you submerged your face back in the ocean to see Tsireya doing something with her hands which sent you confused. But Tsireya just motioned her hands in a ‘come here’ motion.

Taking another breath, the three of you dove back down again. You held onto a reef to stable yourself and you felt a pair of eyes looking at you. You shook it off as Neteyam signaled to go up again with the others.

Following, you reached the surface again.

“Are you alright?” Tsireya asked.

“You’re too fast! Wait for us.” Tuk complained. Tsireya offered her an apologetic smile. “Just breathe.” She spoke.

You did, but it was cut off when the chief’s son, Ao’nung suddenly popped up beside you. You moved away as you looked at him.

“You’re not good divers.” He said looking at you, then Neteyam and Lo’ak.

“Maybe good at swimming through trees but-“ He chuckled but Tsireya’s hand smacked him on the head, which sent you chuckling. He looked at you with a scowl. You just sent him a teasing smile.

“Come on, bro.” Lo’ak said.

“We don’t speak this… finger talk you guys.” Neteyam said, motioning with his fingers.

“Yeah, we don’t understand what you’re saying.” You said to them.

“I will teach you.” Replied Tsireya.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Days passed by and you were learning bit by bit.

Now you were standing in the ocean, watching as Ao’nung called for something. Then you saw them. They were almost as big as you, swimming around you gracefully.

Then Ao’nung faced you, with his hand raised. “If you want to live here, you have to ride… Shouldn’t be too hard for you.” Ao’nung said, although the last bit he looked at you.

You rolled your eyes.

Then it was time to ride the Ilus.

You smiled as you pet its head, it squawked happily at you, nudging its face onto your arm. “Look at you, you’re beautiful.” You speak.

“Are you planning to stand here and rave all day like a baby?” Ao’nung teased, still giving you that same smile from before. You glared at him, turning your face away from him as you made tsaheylu with the Ilu.

You took a deep breath before hopping on, you didn’t miss the way Ao’nung’s hand followed, almost to support you if you fall back into the ocean.

“Get your hand off me.” You hissed at him once you successfully rode your Ilu.

He raises both his arms in surrender, smirking at you, shaking his head.

“Alright, I was just trying to help—”

“Calling the Ilu was enough.” You spoke.

“I’m not so sure about that.” He replied, then he jerked his head towards the ocean. “If you’re so confident, then give it a go.”

You looked towards the ocean, your Ilu breathing steadily below you. You held onto the handle. “Okay...” You smacked yourself mentally for letting your voice falter.

Ao’nung didn’t miss it as he laughed. “What, not scared now, are you?”

“I’m not!” You growled. In a way to spite him, you tugged on your Ilu to go swim.

Your Ilu quickly dived, taking you aback as you tried to hold onto the handle for your life. Your legs wobbled as you tried to place them in between your Ilu.

But the speed was too much to bear as you were forced to let go, sending your body tumbling around in the ocean as you moved to upright yourself.

Ao’nung fully witnessed what happened underwater as he rose to the surface, laughing at you.

You rose to the surface as well, moving your hair away from your face. You could hear Ao’nung laughing behind you as your cheeks warmed in embarrassment.

“Told you so, maybe you should go back to the forest already.” He says to you.

“Shut up.” You said to him, then your Ilu appeared next to you, nudging your side as if to apologize. You moved your attention to the Ilu instead of Ao’nung.

He tilts his head, watching you interact with the creature, the corner of his lip almost twitching into a genuine smile.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Although within those weeks, Ao’nung was nowhere to be found. You took it that maybe he was busy with his hunter duties, that or just maybe he didn’t want to hang out with your kind.

Within the next few weeks, you had been trained by Tsireya and Rotxo to breathe and you could say you were already doing a decent job at it with the way you lasted minutes underwater. Often times all of you would ride on your Ilu’s, going on trips to wherever Tsireya or Rotxo had in mind.

You hated the way you found yourself thinking of where he could be whenever you were out with them. You also cursed yourself more often than not when you would see him passing by and you would be trying to avoid looking at him.

You hated him with every fiber of your being, so why on earth would you be missing him?

Emerging with your Ilu, you let out a deep breath along with your siblings.

“You are learning to breathe.” Tsireya says with a smile on her face.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Then a day came when you were all granted rest.

You chose to spend it with Kiri, your sister, by the ocean as you sat beside her in the water as she was laying stomach down, her head submerged under, looking at something in the sand.

Meanwhile you were sitting with your eyes closed, letting the warmth of the sun hit your skin as your hand swayed underwater, making little ripples.

Your ears perked as you heard sloshing behind you, then a voice followed.

“What are they doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“I would not be surprised if two of them were looking at the sand.”

Then a chorus of laughter.

That gathered you and Kiri’s attention as you turned your head to stand up, Kiri lifting her head with a dazed look on her face as she stood. “Huh?”

Your eyes immediately fell onto Ao’nung’s.

You knit your brows as your ears steered back.

“What did you say?” Kiri asked, you looked at her for a brief moment and you placed your hand out in front of her, to not let her get any closer to them.

“Are you guys… you know, freaks?” Ao’nung asks, his brows raised in amusement. You and Kiri looked at each other as you faced him again.

“Come on, he asked if you guys are freaks.” One of his friends repeated.

“No.” You sassed. “Let’s get out of here, Kiri.”

You began to walk away with Kiri, but they were still on your tail.

“Come on, are you sure? Don’t go already, we’re just asking a question.” His friend said.

You ignored them.

“Look, you’re not even real Na’vi!” Ao’nung says before his hand charged to grab at Kiri’s hand just in time for you to see.

You hissed loudly, dashing in front of Kiri to smack Ao’nung’s hand away from her. Ao’nung didn’t seem bothered, in fact, you thought it only motivated him more to see you that angry.

“Oh, oh.” His friends taunted, then Ao’nung successfully grabbed your wrist, his hold was unyielding as you tried to tug it away from him. “Let. Go. Of Me.” You said through gritted teeth, staring him down.

He looked entertained as he held your wrist up. “I don’t think so, four fingered f—"

“Hey! Back off fish lips!” You and Kiri’s head turn to see Lo’ak walaking towards you.

Ao’nung got distracted so you successfully tore your arm off his hold.

“Aw, another four fingered freak.” He now focused on Lo’ak.

“And look at his little tail!” The other said, tugging on Lo’ak’s tail, prompting Lo’ak to push the other Metkayina away. They began laughing “Look at that baby tail.”

You were not letting Lo’ak get into a fight again.

“Leave us alone!” You shout, trying to push Ao’nung off Lo’ak when Ao’nung turned to you, he acted like he was about to give you a shove when Neteyam suddenly appeared, him being the one to shove Ao’nung away from you.

“You heard what she said, leave them alone.” Neteyam’s voice threatened, pointing at Ao’nung’s chest.

“Back off. Now.” Neteyam warned, a slight hiss to his tone. Ao’nung did what he was told, holding his arms up as he walked back.

“Smart choice,” Said Neteyam before glancing at the rest of his friends “and from now on, I need you to respect my sisters.”

The other Metkayina hissed, while Kiri darted her tongue out at them, and you gave a teasing tight-lipped smile to Ao’nung.

“Let’s go.”

You all began to walk away when they snickered behind you. “Look at them, they’re all freaks, the whole family of ‘em.”

Seems like that was the last straw for Lo’ak as he turned back around on his heel again to approach the group, making you stop in your tracks.

“Lo’ak.” Neteyam called. He knew what his little brother was about to do.

“I got this, bro.”

You and Neteyam look at each other before looking back at Lo’ak.

“What is he doing…” You mumble to yourself.

“I know this hand is funny,” Lo’ak started showing his hand, especially his pinky finger. “Look, I’m a freak. Alien.”

At what Lo’ak said, they started laughing at him again, Ao’nung looked smug, which you just wanted to smack him in the face.

“But it can do something really cool,” Lo’ak continued. He balled his fist, “Watch, first I ball it up really tight like this… Kay? Then—“

You were taken aback as Lo’ak landed a punch on Ao’nung’s face, him being stunned for a second.

Lo’ak took the advantage, landing two more punches on him which sent him tumbling back on the sand.

“It’s called a punch, bitch!” Lo’ak growled. “Don’t ever touch my sisters again.”

The feeling of amusement quickly faded as Ao’nung’s group hissed at Lo’ak, then Ao’nung lunged at him, tackling him towards the ground.

“Ow! Ow!” Lo’ak screamed as he was pulled by his tail, he scurried to get up only to get slapped by the other boy with his tail on the cheek.

You and Kiri stood stunned.

Then Neteyam came forward. “Neteyam—” You called but he was already at the scene, delivering a knee to the gut to one of Ao’nung’s friends. Then they were both tackled to the ground. It was a blur of events.

“Stop!” You spoke. “So stupid!” Kiri added.

“Ow! My tail!” Lo’ak screamed as he was again pulled by his tail, but he retaliated by grabbing the opponent’s ear. “Ow, my ear! Let go!!”

As much as you hated seeing your brothers get beat up, it was an amazing sight to see. Especially you could see how beaten Ao’nung looked. Serves him right.

You and Kiri stifled your laughter at them.

By the looks of things, your two skxawng of a brother were winning.

But the fun had to end.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You walked towards your Marui, followed by Neteyam, Lo’ak, and Jake.

“What was the one thing I asked?” Started Jake, looking at his sons. You stood to the side; your head bowed. “The one thing?”

“Stay out of trouble.” Lo’ak answered.

“Stay out of trouble.” Jake repeated.

Neteyam stepped up. “It was my fault.”

“I don’t think so- you gotta stop taking the heat for this knucklehead.” At the mention of ‘knucklehead’ Jake turns to look at Lo’ak.

Lo’ak looked at you before glancing back at his father. “Look, dad, Ao’nung was picking on (Y/N) and Kiri, called them freaks.”

With that, your head perked up as you feel your father’s eyes on you. “Is this true?”

You could only nod.

Jake gritted his teeth. “Go apologize to Ao’nung.”

“What?”

“He’s the chief’s son, do you understand?” Jake said. “I don’t care how you do it, just apologize.”

Lo’ak bit the inside of his cheek before he stormed off.

“For you, (Y/N). See if you can patch up the kid.”

“But wh—”

“Set things aside, you’re the best healer we’ve got. I’m sure the chief and the Tsahik would appreciate it. Just remember, if he tries anything funny, you’re out of there.”

You tried to hiss at your father for making him ask you to do that, but you just bit your tongue, scrambling to get your bowl and the materials needed, before grumbling your way out of the Marui.

Neteyam watched, as much as he wanted to stop you from going, he couldn’t speak up to his father. He then started to walk out of the tent, but his dad stopped him.

“Hey.” Neteyam turns around to meet his father. “So, what’d the other guys look like?”

“Worse.” Neteyam answered. “That’s good.”

With that, Neteyam’s energy picked up as he smiled proudly. “A lot worse.”

“Alright, get outta here.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

With every step you took felt like a death sentence.

You carried your bowl, already prepared with the paste you used to treat wounds back in the Omatikaya clan.

Soon enough, you approach the Marui of the chief.

With a deep breath, you slowly walked in.

It revealed Ao’nung sitting down while the Tsahik, Ronal seemed to be glaring at him as Tonowari stood tall, also carrying the glint of disappointment in his eye. But it was quick to disappear once he spots you.

“Jake Sully’s kid, (Y/N), what are you here for?”

“Olo’eyktan, Tsahik.” You greet with a bow. You could feel Ao’nung’s eyes on you.

With a deep breath, you tightened your grip on your bowl. “My father has asked for me to treat your son. I am most skilled in healing back in Omatikaya.” You held your words perfectly.

Ronal was looking at you now, you could feel your hair rising from the way she looked.

Tonowari seemed to appreciate the effort.

“That is a great gesture. But first I have to apologize in behalf of my son, I did not expect him to act this way.”

You felt somewhat relieved as you nod. “It is appreciated, Olo’eyktan.”

Tonowari turns toward Ronal. “Our son is in good care now, we must run through our duties for the day.”

He walks out and Ronal followed but stopped next to you.

You almost gulped as you turned to face her.

Ronal stared at you before she closed her eyes and nodded at you before leaving you with Ao’nung.

You were certainly terrified of the Tsahik.

But now you shifted your attention to the boy in front of you, he was still sat, looking at you.

“I don’t like this any more than you do. I’m only here because my father has asked me to, when you know very well I wouldn’t waste my time with you.” You firmly said, sitting on his side as you placed the bowl beside you.

Ao’nung, for the first time stayed silent.

You dipped your fingers in the paste, reaching up to his face but he tilted his head back.

Huffing in annoyance, you moved to sit up. “If you don’t want my help then I’ll just go back to my brothers. They need me more than you.”

“No.”

You furrowed your brows, sitting back down.

This time, he let you apply the paste to the arch of his brow, he hissed for a moment but breathed out instead.

He looked like he was searching for words to say.

“I’m sorry.”

You paused, your index and middle finger stuck on his brow.

“Again?” You said, looking at him.

He was about to reply with another sarcastic quip of his but he decided against it, wanting to really talk with you this time, seriously.

“I said I’m sorry.”

You were taken aback, but you nodded. “I thought I’d have to meet Eywa first before I can hear you say that.” You joked.

Ao’nung half-heartedly chuckled at your remark.

“But I do not know if you really mean that.” You say, now continuing to apply the paste to his injuries.

“I do mean it.” He says, staring at you.

You looked at him, this time you only realized how stunning he looked.

For Ao’nung, seeing your face this close sent his thoughts on a frenzy, were you really this breathtaking before?

“But that still doesn’t justify the way you treated us. Why must you hate us this much?” You say, removing eye contact with him to focus on his wounds.

“I do not- I do not hate you.” He said.

“Then why treat us like this? Calling us a freak. I know we’re different, laced with demon blood- but we’re still the same as you, we grew up here in Pandora, we eat the same, we work the same as you do. How are we any different as a Na’vi?”

Ao’nung was silent again. You were right. It was the first time someone talked to him like that and it stunned him.

“Forgive me. I do not know what else is out there, I’ve only been used to the ocean, with our people. Seeing you guys felt different.”

You understood his side. This time, you applied a cooling paste to his bruises to lessen the pain.

“So you don’t hate me?” You asked.

“No. But I understand if you hate me.” Ao’nung said.

You sigh. “I only acted like this because of how you did. But hey,” you offered your clean hand to him with a smile.

“Since we now understand where we came from, I hope this can give us a fresh start. Truce?”

Ao’nung looked at your hand before looking at you.

He shook your hand softly, squeezing. It sent some kind of electric shock into his veins straight to his heart. He liked the idea.

When you felt Ao’nung’s hand grip yours, you instantly felt relieved, a slight purple hue tinting your cheeks as he gave your hand a light squeeze.

“Truce.”

[grandline-fics]

I can’t get the idea of Killer having a crush on a Straw Hat out of my head. What do you think would actually make him act on it? Or I guess how would he? (Pretending he actually would) 💖🖤 thank you in advance

DESCRIPTION: You’re a member of the Strawhats and he has a crush on you

WARNINGS: some minor story spoilers but other than that, none

CHARACTERS: Killer

WORDS: 695

A/N: Thank you for the request. This was my first time writing for Killer and I don't know where I was going with this but hopefully you like what I came up with for this

*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*

MASTERLIST

———————

When the Kid pirates first started making a name for themselves, they became interested in the other rookie rivals that they would be sharing the spotlight with. Naturally the likes of Law, Luffy and Zoro stood out the most to Killer as the ones to keep an eye on. Then the stories of Strawhat Luffy and his ever growing crew of unique and interesting members kept circulating and then when you joined the crew, Killer took note of your introduction bounty. While you weren’t quite considered among the Supernova’s it was still enough to pique his interest. 

It made him want to know more. It wasn’t exactly hard for his wish to come true; given who your crew was there was a story about you all and your adventures in the papers practically every week. Kid found his vice-captain’s interest in you amusing and even would go so far as to tease Killer about his crush, which was always furiously denied. It was just being thorough about the strength of possible rivals that they could run into in the future. Then the opportunity to see you and your crew in the flesh presented itself when they landed on Sabaody and all hell broke loose in the auction-house. 

You hadn’t really known much about Kid, Killer or the crew until that incident. In the middle of an attack, you flipped in the air and sailed down towards the masked pirate. To avoid hurting him, you hooked your leg around his waist and turned, knocking him to the floor with you landing on top on him. The impact was enough to lift his mask slightly and reveal his face to you and you grinned down at him. “Sorry about that, handsome.” You apologised while pulling his mask down into place. 

While you didn’t get why he’d hide his features, you guessed he had a reason for it. Suddenly you heard a Marine rushing towards you for a followup attack and threw your weapon up to block it. Quickly you dealt with them and got to your feet to let Killer finally stand. From behind you, Nami called your name which meant it was time to go. As you ran you looked over your shoulder to throw a lazy wave to Killer. “Let’s do this again sometime!” 

As appealing as that offer sounded to Killer, who was finally beginning to admit to himself after that meeting that he just maybe did have a crush on you the chance didn’t get to come up again until two years later when your paths crossed in Wano. Under the glow of the lanterns and in the middle of the lively atmosphere of a land finally celebrating their freedom you stood and watched in amusement as the captain of the Kid Pirates was in the middle of a shouting match with your captain and Law of the Heart Pirates. When you saw Killer about to approach the group in the hopes of calming his captain you subtly took his attention by stepping beside him. “You’re better leaving them to it. Those three are like little kids, they’ll tire themselves out eventually. Enjoy the night off for once.” When Killer turned to face him you smiled and handed him a drink. “Here, to make up for our less than conventional introduction in Sabaody.”

“You remember that?” Killer asked, slightly stunned. It had been two years and it had been so brief, he doubted the encounter had left such an impression for you. He could only watch behind his mask as your grin widened, your eyes sparkling at the memory, effectively proving him wrong. 

“Course I remember, definitely wouldn’t forget a face like yours in a hurry.” Killer tensed slightly when you winked and took a sip of your own drink. Killer considered your earlier statement and glanced to see the three Captains had finally calmed their squabbling at least for the time being. He supposed enjoying himself with your company wouldn’t be such a bad thing. After all, it had been two years in the waiting and who knew how long it would be before your paths crossed again after tonight.

[viviennevermillion]

Domestic Headcanons

notes: I survived my colonoscopy and I'm back in full power. @lxvebun, here's your ace content!

contains: character x gn!reader, set during 4th year internships

characters included: ace trappola, trey clover, leona kingscholar, malleus draconia

word count: 2.6k

warnings: spoiler for what leona's hometown is called ig

You and your friends were more than curious about what the internships in your 4th year held in store for you; given that there were so many options all over the world. But there was more to worry about than just finding a place to intern at. Finding a place to live at while you were abroad was also a concern. Since Ace, Deuce and you were all interning in the Queendom of Hearts, you had decided to open a flatshare together.

Needless to say things were chaotic from the start but surprisingly manageable. Guess Riddle raised them well, you thought and chuckled. 

You were sitting on the couch with Ace, watching a new series he wanted to check out on the streaming service the three of you decided to share. He had an arm wrapped around you loosely and you were snuggled up against his chest; both of you silently enjoying the show and each other’s presence.

That got disrupted when Ace heard Deuce making a bit of noise in his room, suggesting that he had woken up from the nap he decided to take after work and was likely going to make himself some dinner. Ace reached for the lighter under the living room table and grabbed a couple of candles from the cupboard, placing them on the table and lighting them. He removed the flowers from the vase on the table and put the vase down on the floor. When Deuce opened the door of his room, his first sight was Ace holding the flower bouquet in front of you, kissing your hand gently and both of you being surrounded by candles. Quite the romantic atmosphere.

“Uhm…uh…sorry if I was interrupting something”, Deuce scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and walked into the kitchen, leaving you two alone in the living room. “May I ask what exactly that was supposed to be?”, you raised an eyebrow and Ace gave you a smirk. “I plundered his stuff in the fridge. Didn’t want him to nag me about it”, he chuckled and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Just how many times exactly have you used me as an alibi to bother and / or annoy Deuce?”, you sighed. “A few times”, Ace shrugged and pulled you into a hug again.

If you can cook, go ahead and teach Ace. He may complain about chores sometimes but as time passes on and he gets used to not living in his parents’ house, he’s happy to learn from you and make dinner with you. He doesn’t feel confident enough in his cooking skills yet to make something for you on his own without accidentally setting the kitchen on fire, but he prefers cooking as a shared activity with his partner anyway.

He and Deuce will fuck up with household appliances. Like, it’s not like Ace never did chores before, there were plenty at home and at Heartslabyul, but he never used a washing machine and a dishwasher before and you facepalm the first time you see him and Deuce standing around helplessly in the kitchen with the floor flooded in water and foam because one of them thought it was a good idea to put dish soap into the dishwasher and the other one didn’t object. 

“Okay, which one of you?”, you put your hand at your hips and sigh. “Me but I had doubts and Ace said ‘this is for cleaning dishes, how bad can it get, really?’”, Deuce sighed.

Sharing your first living space with Ace is just 9 months of figuring out the magnificent ways of adulting. 

And managing money. Ace is one of those guys who never looks at the prices at the grocery store and just picks the thing that looks the most appealing. 

You always fall asleep in his arms at night, now that Riddle can’t stop you from sneaking into Ace’s room.

He’ll be there when you had a stressful day at work and the two of you figure things out together, giving each other subtle affections throughout the day before finally relaxing in each other’s arms as the sun sets.

Listen, starting out while living with Trey during your internships is literally the best option out of all of these boys. Man has his life figured out at least when it comes to having stability and adulting skills.

Take-out food is something you get rarely while living with Trey. He always stops by the grocery store or a market after work and brings fresh ingredients back home. He’d be happy if you like cooking and baking with him, because he loves to make his food himself and sees it as a bonding experience if you join him. It doesn’t matter if you’re good at cooking or not, Trey is a good teacher and he’s happy to show you.

He has a Magicam account but pretty much the only thing he posts there is pictures of food he cooked. So he’s super proud to show off what you made together.

Loves when you wrap your arms around his waist from behind while he cooks, leaning your cheek against his back. He gets to do something he loves and has your affection along with it.

Trey is a simple man. Sometimes he brings home a bouquet of flowers for you but otherwise his affection shows in much more idle moments; when he jokes around with you if you mess up in the kitchen or when he lends you one of his hoodies if you’re cold. Trey’s love for you shows in the goodbye and welcome home kisses before and after every day at your internships. It shows in how he’s actively looking for ways to make your temporary home more comfortable; picking up plants or little decorative items when the two of you are going out and asking you if you think it’d be a nice addition to your flat. 

He already has a bunch of succulents and other small plants put everywhere on window sills and shelves to make your place more comfortable.

He doesn’t say it yet because he doesn’t want to get too ahead of himself but he’s loving this lifestyle with you and he’d love for you to continue living together after graduation. 

Trey always listens to your wishes for what you would like to eat for dinner and he somehow finds a way to make it happen, even if the recipe is super difficult. “You really don’t have to, Trey”, you insist and reach for his hand. He squeezes your hand in his and presses a kiss to your forehead. “It’s not a problem…I admit this is a little harder than I thought it’d be, but if it’s going to make you smile, it’s worth every effort”, he insists and gives you a loving smile. “Just seeing you every day makes me smile more than enough”, you reply and kiss his lips softly.

Trey runs a hand through his hair awkwardly. “Aw, come on, you know you fluster me when you say stuff like this”, he chuckles and blushes. “I know”, you smirk and pull him into a deeper kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, “that’s the plan.” You whisper against his lips, pressing soft, appreciative pecks to them repeatedly while you can see Trey blushing even more. “I have a dinner to cook, y/n”, he sighs and gives you a loving hug before returning his attention to the ingredients. 

Trey is super easy to move in with. He can adapt easily and communicating with him about who does what chores around the flat works super well. Trey is husband material and it definitely doesn’t take you long to realize it. Living with him is super comfortable and reassuring; knowing that whatever the day throws at you, there’s security and love in the happenings of mundane daily life.

Living with Leona has its upsides and downsides. 

You get to be picky with where the two of you move because Leona is a prince and therefore has quite a lot of cash to spare, so not being able to pay your rent isn’t something you would have to worry about. 

Leona drives you to work every morning before he goes to his own internship place at the edge of Sunrise City. The way he leans over to the passenger seat to press a kiss to your lips every morning without fail, sometimes not being able to get enough of your lips and repeatedly pulling you into another kiss could make you melt into his arms right then and there and you just wish you had 10 more minutes to spend with him. Or 20. Or just a whole day while you’re at it. Leona knows this and does this on purpose. It boosts his ego, knowing you miss him while at work and are looking forward to seeing him again. 

He wouldn’t admit it but he loves just getting short text messages from you during your breaks and knowing you’re thinking about him. Instantly brings a smile to his face. 

He also picks you up from the internship on the way back if you don’t have your own car. 

Leona isn’t one for cooking so you two usually get takeout food, which in Leona’s case means like, a bucket full of nothing but meat if you don’t stop him. Lovingly calls you herbivore everytime you order something with vegetables.

He knows where to get good food in Sunrise City and he never misses with his restaurant choices.

Given that you’re his lover and he actually without a doubt enjoys having you around, he has no problem showing you around the city; taking walks with you through the parks during sunset. 

Leona will likely hire someone to do the household chores as he doesn’t want to do them himself, on some days his depression would be actively preventing him from getting things done and he also would never want to burden you with doing everything for him. 

Nevertheless, being around Leona can sometimes demotivate you from taking care of your own responsibilities. He pulls you into his arms to cuddle and this can be the start of a spiral of procrastination if you’re not careful.

Leona doesn’t really care how you decorate your flat as long as nothing bothers his strong sense of smell or is in such bright colors that it hurts his eyes. He’s one of those guys who drive to the furniture store with you and just have no opinion on anything except for the bed because the quality of his naps must not be impacted. With everything else, if you left him alone, he’d just look at the shopping list, reads that you need a lamp, a small bathroom shelf and a carpet and he just grabs the first things that work, even if they don’t fit together. So you better go with him. 

“Do you think the shelf with the dark wood would fit better in the living room or should we take the white one?”, you ask and Leona just shrugs. “As long as our stuff fits on it and it doesn’t fall apart”, he leans on the shopping cart and his tail swishes back and forth idly, “we can throw a coin if ya can’t decide.”

Leona loves having you sleep in his arms at night but chances are you already did that at Night Raven College regularly, if not all the time. 

Chaos is also a form of adventure!

Seriously though, Malleus is so sweet and always eager to help and he’s so excited that he gets to live with you during his internship and explore the city you intern in with you but this man is not in any way equipped nor prepared for normal modern adult life.

First off, you get takeout food everyday because Malleus repeatedly fries the kitchen appliances with his magic on accident and you already dodged a bullet by getting a small house from his wealth as a royal because if you got a flat with him, the neighbors would be complaining so hard about the frequent power outages caused by the confused fae prince with adjustment issues.

Before you move in together, Malleus excitedly tells you that he has found a building that would be perfect for the two of you to share. He shows it to you and you raise an eyebrow. “Malleus, this is a 40 minute drive away from my internship place, why does it have to be this one specifically?”, you raise an eyebrow and he frowns because you didn’t notice. He points at the gargoyles on the roof and you bury your head in his chest. “Oh my god, Malleus, was this your only criteria?”, you sigh.

Malleus wanted to contribute to finding a place for the two of you but you can bet he’s not going to check the internet. No, he hires a real estate agent and “are there any buildings with gargoyles we can rent or buy?” was indeed one of his first questions.

Anyway the two of you have a technology room that Malleus doesn’t go into and it’s insulated with magic-blocking material. This is where you charge your phone and spend time at your laptop or keep any other electrical devices. 

Malleus takes the train to work everyday and he fucking loves public transport. You’re so fed-up with screaming kids on the bus and people listening to the Twisted Wonderland equivalent of TikToks on speaker on the train but for Malleus this is like, the most fascinating thing ever.

He also loves the mall and large grocery stores. They have so many everyday items he has never seen in Briar Valley. 

To celebrate moving in together, you told him to just pick whatever interests him at the grocery store, the first time the two of you went there. You spent 3 hours in that store and you had to explain to Malleus that some of the frozen food he picked is not supposed to stay frozen. He also buys 5 different kinds of ice cream.

He makes you a pretty ice cream cup with the one Riddle gifted him for his birthday and presents it to you proudly.

Whenever he’s in deep thought, you’ll find him sitting on the roof with the gargoyles, looking over the area. “You know…”, you sit down next to him and he instantly pulls you close to him, partly because he missed your affection but also because he wants to keep you safe and secure, “you were right. This place has a nice view.” You turn your head to him and kiss his lips gently.

Malleus is absolutely thriving with the fact that he gets to live with you and spend his days with you without his retainers present because Silver and Sebek are still at NRC. He’s so affectionate with you and makes the most of the fact that the two of you have some time to yourself without Sebek frantically looking for him.

Malleus loves to fall asleep in your arms at night. It took a bit to figure out how to make that work with his horns and him being almost 2m tall, but Malleus Draconia is a little spoon and he doesn’t care if you can only hug his upper body, he’s sleeping in his beloved’s arms and that’s that.

[blues824]

Obey me brothers/ side characters with a s/o that is beloved by Diavolo's mother!

Reader is not MC, but is still human, kind of like Solomon. Gender-neutral pronouns are used.

Lucifer

You were probably a part of a noble family

Otherwise there would have been no way that you were known by Her Former Majesty, let alone beloved by her.

He can see the appeal though

You were kind, thoughtful, caring, and best of all: competent

A nice contrast to his brothers

He is a bit jealous that you are very close to Diavolo due to your former closeness with the Queen

But what can he do? He swore loyalty to Diavolo

He did swoop in and steal you when he found out that the Prince had no romantic interest in you

Much like a prince swoops in for the princess

Mammon

Bro first thought that you might have special permissions

And tried to use you because of that

But you weren’t very keen on being used because you were favored by the former Queen.

You actually smacked him for having the audacity

Other than that, you were actually very kind towards him

He definitely gets jealous when he sees how close you are to Diavolo because you were loved by his mother

Though it doesn’t matter because you love him and only him

Plus, Diavolo didn’t harbor any romantic feelings for you, so that was a huge bonus for your beloved demon

Now he can act on his greediness.

Leviathan

As the Commander of Hell’s Navy, he’s probably heard of you and even seen you around the Castle

Bro could definitely see why the Queen loved you, even though you were a human 

You were kind, and you made his heart beat so fast

He felt like a total normie for having these feelings, but it’s not like he could do anything about it

If you thought Mammon was jealous, you should see Levi

Every single time he sees Diavolo with his arm around you, he is just sitting there, marinating in the envy he feels

But you think of the prince as a sort of older brother figure instead, so that calms Levi down a bit

Not by much though

You will definitely have to make up for it by cuddling with him, or else he’ll sulk about it

Satan

In some of the Devildom History books, you are mentioned and even in some of the pictures standing beside the late Queen

To many, it was odd to see a human held in such high regard

But he got to really know you since you also attended RAD

And that is how he came to understand why the Queen loved you so much and even favored you.

He will gladly listen to any stories of Her Former Majesty that you are willing to tell him as he loves to learn more and more

However, with being the Queen’s favorite, it means that you are closer to Diavolo

Satan isn’t jealous because it makes sense that the Prince would want to know what his mother was like

There are limits to his generosity

As long as the hugging doesn’t go too far, he’s fine

Asmodeus

Finds it interesting that you were favored by the former QUEEN herself

Really makes a point in emphasizing that whenever he sees you

He will give you a hug and a kiss from behind and tease you saying that you were loved by the QuEeN

You were definitely kind and sweet, so he understands why she loved you so much

Asmo doesn’t really get jealous, but he does get clingy

When you are being very affectionate with Diavolo because you both are like siblings, he wants cuddles and affection as well

It’s honestly adorable to see him out and make grabby hands like a small child

And of course you give in because who wouldn’t?

He feels better right after

Beelzebub

Is also intrigued when he hears that the Queen loved you

He was an angel at that point, so he had never really had a chance to meet her

But over different meals, he will happily listen to whatever stories you have of your time as a noble within the palace

This demon is so soft for you

Every single piece of affection that you show him is something he soaks up

Like a sponge

He doesn’t get jealous either, not even when Diavolo gives you a hug as a greeting

I mean, he does the same thing as a greeting to you

It’s a typical friendly gesture, and he doesn’t have anything against the Prince greeting you in that way

Belphegor

He was very wary of you at first because you are a human

And definitely more wary of you because you were loved by the Royal Family, a group he’s not exactly friendly with

But you were just so nice and kind

It was hard for him to envision you being so close to good-for-nothings

Plus, he had to admit that he was interested to know what kind of person Diavolo came from

When you both visit the Prince’s palace, Belphie definitely gets jealous

Ain’t no way Diavolo had the audacity to wrap his arms around you

However, it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. 

You were closer to the Prince than you were with him because of your connection to his mother, so he just had to deal with it

Diavolo

You always remained close to the royal family, even after he was born

Along with Barbatos, you played a huge role in raising him, even though you were only around 19 years old at the time

Many a night, you would tell him stories about his mother, as he unfortunately never got the chance to meet her

As he grew up, he grew to love you in a more romantic way

In terms of being a demon, you being only 19 years older than him wasn’t that big of a deal

Remember that in the game, these demons are 1000’s of years old while MC is much younger

That aside, he still asks you what his mother was like from time to time

The way he listens with such childlike curiosity is so adorable

But to be fair, he’s adorable 99.9% of the time anyway

Barbatos

The two of you kind of partnered up to raise the young master in his mother’s… absence

Honestly, you both are the reason that Diavolo believes in love

He had exposure to you both dancing in the kitchen and including him in under the guise of training him to dance

Forget the Demon King, because you both became parents to Diavolo

Barbatos had met you when he was employed, and he knew that you two were meant to be together

During some of the more painful nights for the young prince, you both would sit with him and tell him funny stories about his kind mother

As you tucked him in, the butler’s chest felt warm while you placed a gentle kiss on the prince’s forehead

Even millennia later, you both are still as in love as you were back then

Then MC came around, and the chaos begins

Solomon

He was only slightly jealous because you had more of a chance of getting a pact with Diavolo than he did

But you have known the prince for millennia, and you have not made a pact with him

So he then realizes that you do not wish to make pacts with a bunch of demons

You already had the favor of the late queen, and you deemed that enough

Then, you both really got to know each other when he came down for the student exchange program, and you got romantically involved

I don’t perceive him as a super jealous person, but a little bit of green creeps up his throat when he sees Diavolo hug you

The sorcerer understands that you both are like siblings

That doesn’t change anything though because he’s still a bit green with envy

He doesn’t ask you to stop though because that’s not fair

Simeon

To see a human favored by such a powerful demon like the former Queen of the Devildom was very rare, and it had Simeon intrigued

And your soul was still pure, meaning that you have not made a single pact

You could say that this is what attracted the archangel to you

Back in the Celestial Realm, he never had the chance to interact with the Devildom too much and therefore never had the chance to meet with the Queen while she was still alive

Thus, he will ask you a few questions about her

Whenever you visit Purgatory Hall, he gets so excited

But then there’s the matter when everyone gets together and Diavolo greets you with a hug

Simeon isn’t the type to get jealous, but something about seeing his beloved being hugged by another man rubs him the wrong way

Very uncharacteristic of him, and he is even surprised 

[donkey-hyuck]

¡MASTERLIST!

WORD COUNT - 10.146

GENRE - angst haha | fluff | established relationship!au | CEO!au | slowburn?

CHARACTERS/PAIRING - CEO!jaehyun x orphanage caregiver!fem!reader | nct/wayv

INTRODUCTION - getting into a relationship when you were at the lowest point of your life dragged you down to the bottom. but it dragged the ones you loved as well.

WARNINGS - adoption/being an orphan | profanity (like a lot) | insecurities (major imposter syndrome) | being poor/poverty | panic attacks/anxiety/depression | alcohol consumption | (prescribed) pill intake | lots of dialogue | pet names 

TAGLIST - @xxvaelinxx @bbhmystar @actuallynarii @gfksz @jenosbliss

A/N - yikes this one’s a deep one :( the song is track five on the album and track three on the playlist. have fun breaking your hearts :’) (also hi ik it’s been literally centuries but it’s finally here pls don’t kill me (for the rushed end.))

DISCLAIMER - read as you please!! i don’t want to trigger anyone and please lmk if i missed any warnings! i don’t want to be insensitive to anyone's feelings. thank you <3 p.s. this is not proofread and im so sorry for the immense pause.

It wasn’t too far into your relationship when you broke down in front of Jaehyun. You didn’t know why but opening up to him just became natural.

To be fair, you were also a little ways past tipsy. 

In fact, you were a bit deep into the soju bottle you had bought while sitting outside of the convenient store when you first met Jeong Jaehyun, himself. Of course, you didn’t know he was the CEO of Jeong Peach Corporation at the time. 

Jeong Peach Corporation. A fragrance and personal hygiene corporation company whose audience consists of he’s, she’s, and they’s. The brand as a whole has this certain aesthetic that is appealing to those people. But Mr. Jeong Jaehyun himself also had a certain aesthetic that definitely matched the brand name he built from the ground up. His striking looks and simply the way he carries himself has men and women falling on their knees for him. But it was a little too late for them to capture his heart the way you did.

“Hey you! I can see you looking over here. How ‘bout’chu come over here and I’ll show you a piece of my mind,” you slurred and held up your fist. 

He was almost taken aback. Not because he was Jeong Jaehyun and you had the audacity to speak to him like that (again he carries himself in such a humble way that that would never be the option), but he was simply minding his business, walking to his car until he heard the sound of your drunk voice. He was definitely not expecting a drunk voice while he was ready to go home right around midnight. 

He chuckled to himself, too amused at the mere thought of you. But it was midnight and this was the darkest the sky was going to get. It was dangerous for you— for anyone— to be out this late, by themselves, downing a bottle of soju. Well, two and a half bottles of the infamous alcoholic drink. 

“Who are you? And why are you out here so late? Drunk?” He laughed, tucking his phone into his pocket, slyly grabbing a chair and sitting by you. 

“Suffering. It’s tough out here,” you took another shot.

“Hello, suffering. Why are you out drinking soju so late?” He teased. It was easy to get along with you it seemed, the alcohol brought out the extrovert in you.

“Hey! My name is Y/n. Not suffering…. I’m just saying I’m suffering because,” you paused. And he subtly leaned closer to you, wanting to hear the reason why you’re here by yourself, downing the whole damn bottle.

“…. Just because, okay. Now can you please go so I can drown my own sorrows by myself? I don’t need another pity party,” you sobered up for a moment, then went back to pour yourself another shot. 

But before you could take the shot, Jaehyun grabbed it from your loopy hands and took the shot instead.

“Hey! You don’t just take someone else's alcohol! That was the last shot too! Now I have to go buy another bottle!” You pushed yourself up from your seat only to be met with the hard concrete ground. 

“You shouldn’t be out here this late, miss Y/n,” he said, his voice laid with concern. 

“Who are you to tell me that? I don’t even know who you are,” you pouted, still sitting on the ground. He sighed to himself, showcasing his deep dimples, and got up from his chair to help you up. He was going to try and take you home.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” He wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you up.

“Stranger danger! Stranger danger! This man is trying to kidnap me!” You yelled out. Of course, no one would really hear you. Besides Bong Cha— who was a goodie-two-shoes for Jeong Jaehyun and Jeong Jaehyun only— who walked out of the company right after her boss had. She saw the whole thing go down.

“Stop it! I’m trying to help you!” He struggled, since you were kicking and flailing your arms around in order to prevent him from taking you. 

“Help me, my ass. What do you want from me? Taking advantage of a poor, drunk, girl just trying to get in my pants? Get off me fucking psycho. My car is the other way,” you kicked some more. And he gave up, placing you on the ground once more.

“Please, Y/n, you have to work with me here. I just don’t want you staying out late. Who knows? You could actually get kidnapped if I don’t help you.”

“How can I trust you? I don’t even know your name. You may be handsome but it’s always the hot ones that are fucked up. More fucked up than me!” You exclaimed.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. Maybe he should have just left you at the seven-eleven. But Jaehyun just sat on the ground next to you, a good distance away and observed your ridiculous, drunk, figure. 

“I’m Jeong Jaehyun,” he started, “now can you please cooperate with me? I’m trying to help you, here.”

You looked up and squinted your puffy eyes at him. “In your damn dreams, you’re Jeong Jaehyun. Like I’d believe that. I may be drunk but I’m not fucken delusional.” Oh, but you were delusional. 

You slowly raised from your seat on the ground and walked your way back to your car, which wasn’t actually where you parked it. The man followed you— sorta like a creep— just to make sure you were safe. But on the way to your car (which was not the right way at all), you bumped into Kim Bong Cha herself. 

She hadn’t seen her boss behind you because it was a little too dark but she lashed out at you anyway, “Hey! Watch where you’re going dumb bitch.” You were about to pounce on her until he caught you before you had the chance. 

“Let me go! Let me at her!” 

The girl was shocked to still see her boss shielding her from you. And she felt embarrassed to let him hear the rude words come out of her mouth. Karma’s a bitch.

“I’m sorry, Bong Cha. Please, go home. And don’t discuss this to anyone. I’m just trying to help her,” he explained to his secretary. Ah, so she was his secretary. That makes a lot of fucking sense.

Quietly, she speed-walked to her car leaving the two of you alone again. 

“Why didn’t you let me at her? She was being a rude asshole.”

“Y/n. She’s my secretary. And she’s always been like that. But don’t worry about her, okay. Please just let me help you,” he begged. It was too late for him to just leave you on the road. 

You sighed, the dizziness was now getting to you. 

“Fine. I need to get to my car, though,” you pushed him off of you.

“I don’t think you’re capable of driving right now,” he retorted.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?” 

And that was how you ended up sitting in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s luxury car (the one he drove that day was his Aston Martin DB11.) 

That was how you first met Jeong Jaehyun.

So much for first impressions. 

—

When you woke up the next morning (with a massive headache), you found the CEO asleep on your couch. All in your shitty apartment. And when last night's events finally hit, you felt like the biggest asshole on planet Earth. 

Jeong Jaehyun was sleeping on your couch. In your shitty apartment that could definitely not even compare to his lavish lifestyle. You felt embarrassed all over again. God, what the fuck were you thinking?

You tried to clean up a bit before you woke him up but nothing would fix the slightly stained walls and the old furniture he was definitely a foe to. 

After you cleaned up the place, he still seemed to be fast asleep, so you decided to cook up some type of breakfast for him. The rusty refrigerator only consisted of greens (that were about to go bad), a carton of eggs, and a gallon of water. Sunny side eggs, it is. 

This was for sure nothing he was used to. He was a CEO after all. The CEO of one of the most popular global brands, might you add. Which made the whole situation so much more humiliating.

Whilst you were cooking, you looked over your shoulder because of the squeaking of the couch Jaehyun fell asleep on. You wanted to fall off the face of the Earth. 

Quickly you set the eggs into a plate and placed them next to his water you had already set on the table in front of him. He had only been awake for five seconds and he was met with the hospitality of you. 

“Mr. Jeong Jaehyun,” you started, “or— no, yeah. Mr. Jeong Jaehyun, sir, I’m so incredibly sorry for the inconvenience I left last night. You did not have to take me home. In fact you didn’t have to stay the night, which was kinda stupid on your part, not that I would ever call you stupid, even though I just did but-” he cut you off. You definitely rambled a bit too much. 

“It’s okay, Y/n,” he slightly laughed, picking up the chopsticks from the plate and eating the egg. 

You sat in front of the table, too defeated to say anything. Too defeated to even look at him— even in the few minutes he had been awake, he was more prestigious than you’ll ever be. You didn’t care about who he was. You really did, of course, but after the whole mess, you didn’t even want to be in his presence anymore. 

“Why are you so quiet, angel?” The pet name made you feel even worse. Why was he being so nice?

You gulped and looked at him. 

“I’m just- I’m so sorry about last night. I was just-”

“Suffering?” He cut you off once more.

The fact that he answered you and finished your sentence made you want to crawl up in a ball and never come out. Last night definitely placed number one in your list of horrible nights. 

“Uhm… yeah, that. But-”

“Why don’t you eat, love?” This was the third time he cut you off and the second time he referred to you as an endearing person. He acted as if he knew you for his entire life. 

“I’m uh- it- it’s okay. I’m not really that hungry so,” you trailed off, looking down at your hands while you played with your fingers. Just then, he shoved his chopsticks in your face. A piece of egg sat on it. He motioned for you to eat. 

You quickly turned your head and shook it, pushing his hand back, “No!” You cleared your throat, “it’s really alright, Mr. Jeong.” You really don’t know why you called him that but it just came out. It was probably the nervousness.

“Jaehyun.”

“Jaehyun… It’s really okay. I mean this is also the least I could do- uhm- especially after last night. Also, my house is a bit of a mess, I'm sorry about that.”

Jaehyun noticed the neighborhood and apartment complex you lived in. Of course, Jaehyun was a nice person so he wasn’t going to comment on it but it was obvious he noticed the living situation you were in. But none of it mattered to him. He just wanted to make sure you got home safely. 

“Don’t apologize about that, Y/n. Now eat.”

“I have more eggs in the fridge. I can make my own, don’t worry about it,” you felt your face flush with heat. He caved in and shoved the piece of egg into his mouth, still worried about you.

It was awkward for a long time until he finished his food. You took his plate and cup and put it in the sink. 

“I’m sorry. Do you want to wash up? Or maybe-” he laughed.

He had a habit of cutting you off, and you’ve only met this man all of eight hours. Most of those hours you were out cold.

“Stop apologizing, love,” he smiled at you, dimples on full display.

“I’m sorry-” you cut yourself off this time. He laughed again. You were cute. 

“I actually need to go to the bathroom. Could you show me where that is?” He asked. You nodded and pointed him down the hall to the left. He quickly thanked you and made his way.

Right when the bathroom door closed, you ran into your bedroom and plopped, face first, into the sheets. How degrading that was. 

When Jaehyun was done using the bathroom he got out and called your name which made you scurry out of your room to meet him from behind. You forcefully smiled and waited for what he was going to say.

“Your car is still at the convenience store.” Your fake smile dropped as you scrunched your nose, remembering how he drove you home. 

“It’s alright. I’ll walk there later. It’s no problem.”

“But-” this time you were the one to cut him off.

“You’ve already done so much for me. I owe you my life,” you joked.

He playfully scoffed and walked toward you, now directly in front of you,“Just let me drop you off. It’s a far walk.” 

“I can Uber or take the bus. Really, everything is okay. I don’t need you to help me anymore. You helped me more than I needed last night and I owe you everything I have.” You were so stubborn. He wouldn’t give up, though.

And there you sat in the same passenger seat as last night. 

“I’m going to wash up at my house first. Is that alright?” He looked over to you while at a red light. You had been looking out the window before he said that.

“Of course. Take all the time you need. I’m in no rush.”

—

You underestimated the home Jaehyun lived in. It was pure luxury. Fenced-in house with a security system (that, alone, probably costs more than your apartment), green upkept grass, and a beautiful white exterior and interior that screamed majestic, mature, and regal. It made your home feel like a shit-show. It made you feel completely horrible about yourself. 

“Please, come inside,” he opened the passenger side door for you.

Shakily, you unbuckle the seatbelt and exited his car. And he just sweetly smiled at you the entire time. It made you want to cry.

He led you to the front door with his hand hovering the small of your back. You could feel the heat of his hand through your shirt. You took off your shoes and followed him inside.

It was very bright and very aesthetically decorated. With plants (which you weren’t sure were fake or not), paintings that you had never seen before, and knick knacks that seemed too expensive for you to even touch. But he led you past everything in his house and went straight into his bedroom. He had a whole couch and side chairs as well as a fireplace. It was just as grand as the rest of his home. 

“Uhm, you can sit on the bed if you’d like. Or the couch, I don’t know. But I'll be done shortly. Please, make yourself comfortable,” he held your arm, informing you. But you were too stunned to speak, so you nodded your head instead. 

You sat on the couch, it was a little weird for you to sit on his bed when you barely knew anything about him (and he barely knew anything about you). Plus, you were too busy gawking at his house. And it made you feel self conscious again. It made you feel small; like you didn’t belong. Which you didn’t. So you don’t know why Jaehyun seemed so comfortable with you. 

He came out of his bathroom— that was attached to his bedroom— buttoning up his shirt with damp hair. He took as quick of a shower as he could, to not keep you waiting. And through the reflection of the mirror, he could see you with your head facing down again, probably playing with your hands. 

“Y/n, love,” he called out. You whipped your head around to his voice, not expecting that to escape his lips.

“Can you please help me button this?” You don’t understand why he called out to you as if you were his lover. Or at least someone he was comfortable with. Couldn’t he see that you were a bit lost? 

You sighed to yourself and wiped your palms against your pants, hesitantly walking up to him. 

Carefully, you buttoned up the rest of his shirt and looked up at him. He was already staring at you with all the love and adoration in his eyes. Of course, you didn’t realize this at the time. Jaehyun himself didn’t even realize it.

He then handed you his tie, “I hope you can tie a tie?”

You’ve tied many ties in your time of working at the orphanage. 

—

Warm Hearts Orphanage held a prolonged special place in your heart. You’d been going to the orphanage as far back as you could remember. The orphanage held children from infants to teens. And everyone there was like family. Even though your little family didn’t have much, it always warmed your hearts to give back to children who were less fortunate than you were. And though you grew up poverty stricken, these children suffered more than you did and all you wanted was to help them. 

You’ve seen children come and go, and the thoughts that always come to you is that they lived a happy life. Everyone in the orphanage deserved it. Even the sourest of apples, because all they wanted was to be loved by a family.

That being said, the orphanage always planned surprise parties for those children who had been adopted. It was a nice tradition, and you’ve helped many children get ready to graduate from Warm Hearts into a family that will love them.

—

“I can.”

As you were doing up his tie he slowly raised a hand to pat down your hair. The action made you pause your movements. Then, you realized everything that was going on was completely wrong and inappropriate, so you quickly finished doing his tie and took a step back. Your heart fell to your ass.

“What’s wrong, lovely?” You still felt like you were going to cry. 

“I- Nothing. Don’t worry about me,” you fakely smiled again. But, again, it was as if he knew you your entire life because he wiped the pad of his thumb against your lips, making you genuinely frown.

“How can I not worry when you seem squeamish? And these fake smiles plastered on your face. What’s wrong?” He stopped swiping your bottom lip and cupped your face with the entirety of his right hand; thumb rubbing your cheek instead.

You still forced a smile and wrapped your hand around his wrist, bringing his hand away from your face. You felt undeserving of everything he was doing to you. And you wanted to hide your emotions as much as you could.

“I’m okay. You can stop worrying about me. I’m fully capable of taking care of myself,” you released your hold on his wrist and held yours, crossed in front of your body. 

This time, with his left hand, he smoothed down your hair and let his hand rest on your face.

“Okay, pretty. If you say so. Now, let’s go get your car, yeah?” You bit your lip and nodded and he led you out of his house with his hands on the small of your back, just like he did when he was bringing you inside.

The seven-eleven you were drinking at just so happened to be located right next to Jeong Peach Corporation. Your car was still parked in the parking lot. And it was still nothing to ever compare to the CEO who was sitting beside you.

You both got out of the car, and he was standing in front of you. 

“Thank you and I apologize for last night. But if it weren’t for you, I’d probably be passed out on the sidewalk,” you awkwardly laughed. 

“No worries, love. And thank you for your hospitality. I’m happy you’re doing alright,” he responded.

You pursed your lips and pivot your heels to the direction of your car.

“I hope to see you again, Y/n.” Yeah right.

You pivot your heels back to the direction of Jaehyun. The embarrassment of last night and this morning still lingered in your body. There was no way you would see him again. You were from two completely different worlds. And there was no way you were coming back to this seven-eleven.

“I hope so too,” you said bitterly before rushing to your car. 

“Y/n!” He said before you could finish shutting your door. You groaned to yourself, stepping back out of your car and facing him again. You wanted to save yourself from the self-bashing already.

“Would you like to… maybe… grab something to eat later?” But damn, he was too nice to turn down. You wanted to say yes so badly, but another part of you wanted to decline. You just didn’t belong in his world. 

He was born to an upper class family, you knew that. Everyone knew that. So what would happen if you said yes? You had nothing to offer.

But it didn’t hurt trying, right?

You took in a huge gulp, “…. I would like that.”

“I’m sorry, what?!” exclaimed Danbi while the two of you were washing dishes.

The kids had just eaten and they were now free to do whatever they pleased, whether that was draw, sleep, or take a walk during the good weather. 

“Keep it down!” You shushed her.

“I can't! THE Jeong Jaehyun of THE Jeong Peach Corporation asked you out on a date tonight?!” She squealed in happiness for you, making the bubbles fly everywhere. 

You told her everything that had just happened within the past twenty-four hours. And she was beyond stoked for you. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and she knew you deserved it the most. You’d been through hell and back and you’re about to go right back. She knew everything about your situation, you’d both been volunteering here for years so it was only natural to open up to one another.  

“No one said anything about a date…. Just a, uh, hangout. Yeah…. a hangout.”

“Y/n, he just met you and he’s head over heels for you already! I’m so excited for you!”

You were excited too. Way beyond excited.

—

Jaehyun said he would pick you up around nine p.m. You had just gotten back from grocery shopping and you now had a little over an hour to shower and get ready. You didn’t even know where he was taking you. 

But as you were applying your makeup and looking in your bathroom mirror, everything started shutting down on you. And you were surrounded with nothing but your own, suffocating, thoughts. You were a fraud. But Jaehyun was coming to pick you up soon, so now was not the time to think about it; or at least try not to. Fake it ‘till you make it.

When the knocking on your door signified Jaehyun's arrival, you quickly sprayed some perfume and opened up the door for him.

You were wearing a simple, spaghetti strap black dress with a slit on the side leg and a dark gray blazer with a matching bag. He looked the same as he did when you saw him this morning, except his blazer was now off of his body and he took off his tie which left him with his white button up (which he unbuttoned the first few to give him more of a casual look).

“Are you ready?”

☹ ☹ ☹

I told you I was down bad

You hate to see me like that

Two whole years had gone by and it was almost your third anniversary. Almost, as in, it was six months away. But so much can happen in a mere six months that seem to pass by so quickly. 

You were in your apartment, the same crappy apartment you lived in two years ago, crying in your sheets. Your damn thoughts were getting to the best of you again. 

And when you didn’t respond to Jaehyun’s phone calls, it was an understatement to say he was worried about you. So he drove to your apartment immediately. 

He frantically knocked on your door and almost broke it down until you came to open it, eyes still red from your tears and breath still uncontrollable. Your lover welcomed himself inside and shut the door, holding you so tight yet soft in his embrace in the doorway. He was trying to comfort you with his lips resting on your forehead and his hands carefully cradling your body.

“It’s alright, love. I’m here. Don’t cry. Please. I need you,” he repeated into your hair, rubbing your back and swaying you both side to side. But the action made you cry even more. You didn’t deserve the love he gave to you. Your head rested on his firm chest as you tried to calm down the pain.

“Angel, where are your meds? Are they in your room?” 

You nodded as best as you could as he carefully led you inside and into your bedroom. Jaehyun sat you down on your bed before grabbing a glass of water for you to take your pills. You hated relying on him so much. You hadn’t changed. But what you don’t know is that Jaehyun loved you even more than he did two years ago. He loved you because you weren’t afraid to show him such a vulnerable part of the human being you had become. Or so he thought.

You did what you had to do and he carefully pulled you into bed with him. Your head rested in the crook of his neck as he felt your hiccuping breath die down into slumber. He rubbed your back some more, hoping that it would lull you to sleep faster. 

You don’t know what you’d do if he wasn’t here. Jaehyun was your everything, as were you to him.

—

When you woke up the following morning, you were still in Jaehyun’s embrace. Slowly, you turned around to check the time and the clock read 5:43

a.m. That was why it was still dark outside. 

You turned back around to face Jaehyun and you sadly smiled at him. He worked so hard 24/7 and the purple bags under his eyes proved that. You just wished there was something you could do to help him, just like the various ways he had helped you. Jaehyun has always been there to help. From the day you two met, to this moment, Jaehyun was always your number one. 

You shifted around in his arms as he slightly groaned because of the sudden movement. 

“I’m sorry, love. Keep sleeping,” you whispered, kissing his closed eyes. He came to your house in his work clothes, though, so you were sure he was a bit uncomfortable. You walked to your wardrobe and found some folded up pajama pants he left over the other night as well as one of his gray hoodies he left ‘not on purpose.’ You gathered his clothes and walked to the bed to wake him up.

“Wake up. If you’re gonna keep sleeping, at least change, love. You’re probably all stuffy in your button up and dress pants,” you lightly shook him awake. He groaned some more before stretching his limbs and opening his eyes. You were the best thing he could ever wake up to.

Jaehyun playfully pulled the blanket over his head and managed to wrap his arms around your waist as you were sitting down beside him. You laughed at his antics and tried to free his grip on you. It failed; and you ended up wrapped under your sheets with him, his comfortable clothes still in your hands.

“What if I don’t want to change,” he challenged.

“You don’t have to,” you teased. “But it’s not going to be my fault when you complain about being uncomfortable.” 

His tight hold on you faltered for a moment before he fully released you and took off your blanket from his (and your) bodies. He released a puff and pouted his plump morning lips. The man sighed and got out of bed, taking the clothes you had in your hands and just stripping from his work clothes right then and there. 

“Aren’t you gonna change in the bathroom?” You asked, laying back down in bed. So much for getting up.

“Eyy, you know I don’t do that. I’m gonna come back into bed anyway,” he said before climbing in after you and pulling the grey sheet back onto him. As he slid into your bed, you wrapped your arms around his head as he rested himself to be held by you. Jaehyun loved being babied, especially in the early hours of the morning. It was one of the many charismatic features about him.

—

When you woke up the second time that morning, it was only nine o’clock. But Jaehyun seemed to be awake now, cooking breakfast that was sizzling from the kitchen.

Quietly, you sat on one of the stools and stared at him. He was the best thing that ever came into your life.

But why did he openly put himself in it?

You always wondered why Jaehyun stayed. It always turned into panic attacks and crying fits, but you couldn’t help it. He was a part of a completely different social status and you stood out like a sore thumb when you were next to him. It wasn’t like you were ashamed to be his girlfriend; you just thought he was ashamed to have you as his girlfriend.

He should.

There goes those thoughts again.

Unknowingly, you choked a sob which made him turn around. When he saw you, he smiled with pure adoration beaming in his eyes. God, why did he make this so hard?

He shut off the stove and walked toward you, forgetting about the breakfast he was making, it was almost done, anyway. Jaehyun wiped his hands with a towel and walked to you, cupping your face with his right hand, wiping the tear that seemed to fall from your eye.

“Why are you crying, love?” He still held the same, sweet, smile.

“…. I love you.”

He raised you from your seat and just hugged you, lips resting on the crown of your head, swaying you back and forth on the creaky floor.

“I love you more.”

“I’m sorry I’m like this,” you confessed against his chest.

But he immediately raised you from your position, to look at his, now serious, expression.

“Never apologize for something you can’t control. You say sorry all the time, peach. I love that you feel the need to say it, but you really don’t need to say it all the time. Especially in front of me. You know how much I love you, right? For being who you are?” He wiped the baby hairs away from your face. 

“You know how much I don’t care how messed up, or whatever you call it, you are, right?”

“…… Of course.”

“Then you should stop being such an amazing person. I don’t deserve you. But here I am,” he laughed, tugging you into his frame once more.

However, you still felt the need to give him the world. You still felt as though you owed him your life, he’d been your boyfriend for almost three years.

And yet you still thought that it was you who didn’t deserve him.

“Now stop crying. You know I don’t like it when you cry. Especially if it’s your damn thoughts that are eating at you.”

You love him so much.

☹ ☹ ☹

I don’t know how you look past

My stupid fucking setbacks

You said it before and you’ll say it again. You’ll say it a million more times; Jaehyun deserved more.

Sometimes, you’ll look in the crooked mirror placed in your bathroom and just think to yourself. Think about all the negatives rather than thinking about the positives. And although there are times you do think about the positives, they all end up with a wretched outcome. And then it’s negative thoughts all over again.

It’s the same routine and you’re growing sick of it. You’ve been sick of it ever since you could remember and you despise people who seem to have it easy. It just seemed as though there was no luck for you. The only luck the universe brought to you was Jaehyun. There are times, though, where you wished you never met him. He was a goddamn CEO and you were a low-class citizen. None of it just made sense.

But you loved him. It just hurts to deal with your true emotions and stow them away from your lover; because you never wanted him to watch what you were going through. Even the thought of it made you want to vomit.

Trauma just came natural to you, apparently. And you absolutely hated it. You just wished you were different, then maybe you wouldn’t feel so guilty about dating Jaehyun. Then he would truly be proud of who you are.

He was already proud of you, though. And he’s told you this a billion times. Your brain just makes you believe that he’s saying it out of pity. He’s only saying it because you’re his girlfriend. 

And the cycle continues.

—

You were spending the next couple of days at Jaehyun’s house. It was obvious he didn’t like your lifestyle and wished for you to live with him. You could never bring yourself to do it though; to always rely on him for everything that you do. You were fully aware of what you could and could not do, and you didn’t need him to help you.

Which led you to silently cry away your sorrows in his bathroom. You were taking a bath, in hopes to dial down the overwhelming emotions that engulfed you. Yet here you were, with a flushed face and puffy eyes— the aftermath of a breakdown. 

It seemed as though ever since you got into a relationship with Jaehyun, your anxiety only intensified. And that resulted in the thoughts that had been burdening your mind since the day you two met. 

Fortunately, he wasn’t home to face the pointless shenanigans that go through your head. So you had enough time to pull yourself together, take your meds, and try to meditate on the balcony that was attached to his bedroom. 

The summer nights were cool enough for you to relax your mind before Jaehyun made his way home. You were working at the orphanage the whole day and you managed to pull through the entire day without a single tear, which probably led to the bathroom-breakdown fiasco. 

The crickets had been chirping and the wind was starting to blow. That was when you heard the bedroom door open. And when Jaehyun saw the slight movement of the balcony curtains, he knew you were outside doing whatever you do best. 

Quietly, the man sighed to himself, placed his work on the side desk and undid his tie. He was finally home. He was finally with you. 

Jaehyun opened the sliding door larger than what it was and joined you in sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. At first he let out a long breath and looked out toward the yard which his bedroom was facing. Then, he got tired and shifted toward you. 

That happened all in thirty seconds.

Your eyes were still closed as you breathed in. Jaehyun lovingly smiled at you and kissed the side of your head.

“I missed you today, angel,” he broke the silence. 

You opened your eyes and shifted your body to face him.

“You say that every day,” you chuckled and played with his fingers. A habit of yours that Jaehyun absolutely adored.

“And it’s always true. I can't wait for the day I get to see you every time I come home.” You felt more guilty that he had the need to say that. And you knew he meant nothing harmful, he was just a caring person and didn’t want you living the life you had. You were better off living with him.

But you joked, “You will. For the next three days. And then I’m off home.”

He groaned and layed back on the cold floor. “Don’t remind me. I want to cherish the time we have now.”

You laughed once more. He was acting as if he didn’t come to see you practically every day. Sometimes, he’ll even leave his job just to come see you at the orphanage. 

“Eyy, quit saying that. I’m still here. You come by all the time. Sometimes twice a day. You’ll get sick of me soon, I can guarantee. I don’t know how you put up with me all these years.”

Although you were (partially) joking, Jaehyun sat right up from his prior position and looked at you with his pout and furrowed brows. 

“What do you mean, peach? I could and would never get sick of seeing you. Don’t say that.” You were shocked to see him react that way.

You slightly snickered at him and said, “I was joking, love. I’m sorry,” you leaned your head closer to his and placed a little kiss on his lips, to make him sort of forgive you for saying that. 

“You better be. I don’t know what I’d do without you, peach,” he kissed back. And pecked your lips repeatedly, several times. 

The actions made you laugh out loud and slightly push him away. Jaehyun loved being the reason why there was the brightest smile on your face. So he quietly smiled as your eyes crinkled because of him.

He suggested that you two wash up. However, you already told him you bathed before he came home. And like a child, he groaned and went into the bathroom himself. But he made you promise to wait for him tomorrow. You agreed, because he was your little baby. 

As he was in the shower, you cuddled your way into his bed sheets and blanket. The lights were now dimmed and all you were doing was waiting for him to get out of the shower. Hopefully he would be able to beat the slumber that easily pulled you in. 

The warmness of the blanket, though, soothed you to sleep and Jaehyun was unable to defeat the unfortunate slumber that casted over you. It was a shame since he wanted to talk to you; ask about your day and what you did. He’d grown used to the look of your puffy eyes, and he knew you’d been crying. He knew you were having a moment the minute he stepped onto the patio. Because the only time you would sit out there was if something was bothering you.

Being the amazing person he was, left you alone, and didn’t ask about what you clearly didn’t want to talk about. He believed that you would open up to him when you were ready. You’ve already opened up to him so much, but nothing would stop him from worrying about you. 

Once he got out of the shower and towel-dried his hair, he placed the wet towel in the basket and climbed into bed next to you, immediately clinging to your fatigued figure. God, he would give you the entire world. Jaehyun turned around and shut off the lamp on his side of the bed (yours was already turned off) and hugged you against him, his breath soon evening out to match yours. 

And fast asleep he was.

—

The following morning, Jaehyun was awakened with your fingers threaded in his hair and his face squished against your chest. He managed to stretch some parts of his limbs whilst still, practically, laying on top of you. 

“Good morning, angel,” he said in his morning voice, “I’m not going into work today.”

As a CEO, you’d expect him to take care of himself (with Jaehyun being his own boss and all) but you didn’t expect him to say he wasn’t going in. Not that you minded, you’d much rather spend the day with him but Jaehyun was a hard-working man, and he rarely took days off. 

“I’m not going in for the next three days either. It’s been a while since I took a day or two off.”

“Yeah, but you’re taking four days off, including today. Are you sure you want to do that?”

He was taken aback for a moment. Did you not want to spend time with him anymore?

“There’s nothing wrong with me taking four days off. You appreciate it, no?” He said in the littlest voice which instantly made you regret what you said.

“No, no, no. Oh, I’m sorry my love, I didn’t mean to make you upset. It’s just that you’re so busy with work and it’s just me so you don’t have to-” you rambled.

“And that’s where I’m gonna stop you. You know how much you mean to me, so of course I’m gonna take these days off to spend as much time with you as I can. The company's getting a little busier with a new launch around the corner but I’m sure they’ll be able to survive without me for a few days,” he retaliated.

You sighed, still feeling like an asshole for wording the sentence the way you did. God, could you do anything to make him happy? It felt as though everything you said and everything you did could never satisfy him. Of course, those were just your thoughts.

Jaehyun was happy that you cared about his job, but what he wanted you to realize the most is how much he wanted to be with you. Whatever it was, spending time with you is the best remedy he could ever ask for. 

Just why is he never sick of you and your words? You’re sure he would be with how rude you, unintentionally, were to him. 

☹ ☹ ☹

When you opened up the door

You let me in when you should have your guard up

Thinking back to the time you finally let Jaehyun crawl through your walls— when he’d let down his walls way before you— the constant feeling of regret and pain constantly filled you. Whether or not the glass was half-full or half-empty, it was always just half. There was never a certain hundred percent yet Jaehyun took his time in letting you trust him as Jeong Yoon Oh. 

Thinking back to the time you first met Jaehyun himself, he somehow couldn’t process the red-flag you were oh-so not afraid to show while you were inebriated. He thought you were cute, and the words you were spilling from your mouth, conscious or not, made him feel sort of protective over you. And he didn’t even know you.

It was about ten a.m. when the two of you got out of bed. Ever since the conversation earlier, the air has just been tense. At least for you. You’re sure Jaehyun probably hadn’t felt anything but your brain was constantly playing tricks on you, and this could be one of them.

Your lover is in the bathroom now, as you’re sitting on the bed staring into space with your thoughts locked into your brain. You should apologize. Of course, you want him to stay home with you, but he plays an important role in the economy and in his industry that you can’t help but feel bad for keeping him away from what he loves doing most.

Resting against the headboard, you turn your head toward the bathroom door that was being opened. He walks through and sits back in his spot next to you, although his body is fully facing yours.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I just… I don’t want to keep you here if you have a lot to prepare for your launch,” you sighed and rubbed your eyes.

He laughed, but the feeling of hurt lingered a bit in his eyes as he held the utmost respect to you. “You don’t have to apologize, my love. It’s completely okay. And if they need help, they have my number and it’ll all get fixed with a simple phone call, alright?” He used his right hand to cup your face, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the surface of your cheeks. 

You bit your lip in hesitation but you stopped when Jaehyun leaned down and kissed away the bad habit he always noticed you had. 

“Let’s make breakfast, yeah?” He whispered against your lips, giving you the biggest puppy eyes ever. You laughed and kissed him one more time before going into the bathroom to get ready for whatever the day was going to bring. 

—

Breakfast was absolutely lovely. As it always is whenever you’re with Jaehyun. But for some reason, this morning’s just hit so different.

Today, though, you planned on going to the orphanage just as a surprise visit. Truly, it was your home. Your second home (if you considered Jaehyun.) 

“Well, I was planning on getting goodie bags for the kids but… I don’t think I’m gonna. We can just spend the day there,” you were telling him all the things you wanted to do today and the things you wanted to do for the kids there but you were having trouble deciding what to actually do.

“Nah, we can go to the grocery and buy them goodies,” he abruptly said as if it was no problem. Realistically there was no problem. Except you. 

“But-”

“No buts. I haven’t seen them in a while, so just consider it a gift from me. Now, let’s finish our food and get some snacks for the kiddos,” he put his plate in the sink as you sighed in adoration (and maybe a little in guilt.)

Grocery shopping with Jaehyun was like grocery shopping with a child. And it was good, because he picked out snacks he thought the children would like, as well as treat bags to put them in. He was a child at heart although he portrayed a stoic and successful CEO.

The two of you sat in his car for an hour in the Warm Hearts Orphanage parking lot packing juices and snacks and candy into the bags before finally walking through the front door. 

One of the staff members had seen you and happily greeted the two of you as you walked into the main entrance to the room the kids spent the most. Upon your arrival, all of the children shouted in happiness, greeting you with hugs and questions of the bags that were placed in a cardboard box that Jaehyun was holding.

Giving them out and spending time with them truly warmed your heart as they played the whole day long with Jaehyun. 

He was so fond of children and your entire being melts with the sight of him playing with them and catching them up on his launch. 

Something about it was heartwarming yet bittersweet. 

You don’t know how long you could last anymore.

☹ ☹ ☹

What a painful back and forth, oh

Today was just not a good day. For you and for Jaehyun. He called you in the morning and said he was going to visit you at your apartment when he was done in the office. 

Only problem was, it was twelve in the morning when he walked through the door with the extra key you gave him. Your apartment was quiet, excluding the yelling from the thin walls of whichever neighbor. 

For the first time since he’s met you, this was the first time he’d actually noticed every little detail about your apartment. From the stained walls to the crack in your window. He felt like he wanted to cry. Jaehyun didn’t want you living like this anymore, that was the truth. And he knew you worked two jobs before committing to the orphanage. He also knew you were never able to pursue college. No amount of scholarships you were given could afford the ungodly university tuition.

And just as he was about to suck up the water forming in his eyes, you walked out of your room, fully awake. You stopped and called out his name. But the ringing in his ears only got louder. And soon he broke down into tears.

You were completely shocked. It was midnight and you didn’t think he would come over because it was so late. But now he’s here, and you don’t know how long he has been standing there, breaking down right in front of you.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong, angel?” you held him in your grasp as his tears kept coming down.

“Why are you crying? Please tell me, my love,” you pleaded, voice cracking. In the three years you’d known Jaehyun, he was never one to cry. Not one tear. He wouldn’t ever tear up either. So seeing him like this, vulnerable, was both shocking as it is confusing. 

“I just…” he sobbed, “I just love you so much. Please don’t ever leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” To you, he wasn’t making much sense but he was still valid to have these thoughts. Some people have their off days and you guessed this was his.

“Of course not, Yoon Oh.” He cried harder, somehow pulling you even closer than before, his head still hiding in the shadows of your neck.

Moments passed by before he finally lifted his head up. He looked so ethereal though he was covered in tears and the image in front of you made you want to cry yourself. 

“You’re okay. I’m right here,” you cupped his face with both of your hands, wiping away the tears on his cheek with your thumbs. He does the same to you, although you’re not crying.

“I want you with me forever,” he whispered, searching through your eyes as if he doesn’t know you like the back of his hand.

“I’ll be here.”

You don’t know if you’re lying to him with the response. But only time can tell whether the guilt forever residing in your heart gets the best of you and inevitably, to the best of him. But he’ll get over it right? He’s Jeong Jaehyun after all.

—

You’re now laying side by side on your bed. He is being cradled in your arms as he continues to calm down in the drowsiness of the late hours of the night.

“I’m sorry about breaking down earlier. I just… I don’t know, I just felt super overwhelmed all of a sudden I guess,” he lifted his head up to look at your moonlit face.

You shook your head and stroked his hair. “Don’t apologize. You deal with me all the time,” you dryly chuckled.

“Because I know what you go through… But thank you,” he rubbed your back.

“For what?”

“For being there for me when I need you most. I really appreciate it…” he trailed off for a moment, “I really appreciate you.”

“Please…” he continued, “Come live with me.” 

You don’t know if it was sympathy, pity, pure love, or all of the above. But Jaehyun was very much aware that he could treat you like a queen. Which he already does, and that makes you all the more hesitant.

“You know that-” you’re cut off.

“I know. I know you refuse to but please. You’re my entire world, Y/n. I can’t even explain to you in words how much you and your entire existence means to me,” he’s desperate now. So desperate to finally have all of you. So, so desperate to watch you flourish into the beautiful bouquet he knows you are.

You sigh and continue to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. “I’ll think about it.”

But the both of you knew the true meaning behind those words. Yet neither of you can say a word.

☹ ☹ ☹

It’s hard to ignore all of my problems

You couldn’t even count all of the imperfections and impurities that you had hiding within yourself. So much so, that you seem to project those imperfections onto the people around you. To the people that you love.

And sure, they might not notice them�� ignore them, in fact— but they are clearly written out right in front of you and they don’t ever seem to go away. Which is probably why they say ‘you are your greatest enemy.’ It was true.

Yet of course, these thoughts had to swarm your mind at the grocery store. Grocery shopping, for crying out loud. With Jaehyun and with bunches of people who are too nosey to not look at you and not whisper to themselves as to why you are crying. 

With the shopping cart full, Jaehyun pulls it over to the side so as to not create traffic, and pulls you closer to him by your arms. 

He pushes the hair out of your face and leans down to see you. All of you.

“What’s wrong, my love?” He shushes you and wipes the tears off your cheeks.

This was absolutely terrible. Even the most domestic and everyday tasks were a hassle. And you felt like you were burdening Jaehyun in the busy market that only the wealthiest people had shopped at (since you were staying over Jaehyun’s again for a few days.) 

“Nothing, it’s- I’m okay,” you sucked in a breath and wiped your tears before looking up at him to meet his worried gaze.

“Are you sure?” He squinted his eyes.

You took in another breath before nodding.

“One hundred percent sure?” He patted your flyaway hairs down. You nodded again.

“I need words, angel. To make sure you’re okay. Really okay.”

“I’m okay, I promise,” you try to give him your best smile.

He only responds with the softest kiss to your forehead. 

“I need you to be with me,” he whispered against your skin.

“I am. One thousand percent. I’m okay,” you whispered back, now getting self conscious of the scene of you and Jaehyun canoodling in a grocery store on a Wednesday at eleven a.m.

He believed you, however the rest of the shopping trip went by slowly, awkwardly, and quietly.

You wished you could change the way you think. 

☹ ☹ ☹

Cause I'm no good (Ooh), you could do better (Ooh)

You should walk out, it's now or never

Ninety-nine percent of couples argue. Those statistics are completely true. No matter how often or how little, couples everywhere have their fair share of fights.

You and Jaehyun are one of those couples that rarely fight. Today, however, had not been very good to the both of you. Stress, anxiety, and more stress were eating at the both of you and now it landed you here. Just great.

“I don’t need you constantly taking care of me! I’m perfectly fine on my own!” You shouted toward him.

“Clearly you’re not if you break down every other day! I just want you to be okay,” he lets go and sits on one of the chairs in the living room. His face is hiding in his hands as he feels the anger and disappointment run through his brain.

Noticing this reaction, you sigh and furrow your eyebrows. It’s silent for a fleeting moment. “Why? You know I’ll be okay.”

You sit on the couch, opposite of the black leather chair Jaehyun is sitting in. 

“I know how much you’re hurting. And I don’t ever want you to feel those terrible feelings ever again. I want to be here for you and I want you to know that I want to be here for you. Can't you understand?”

It isn’t too much after he let out those words that you feel the tears fill up the sockets of your eyes and the void of the room. The walls that had now captured the two lovers screaming at each other now hear the abundant silence between them.

“I can't give you anything. You do so much for me and I’m just here.”

“I don’t care. No materialistic thing could ever compare to you just being here with me.” He gets up and sits next to you, making sure you know he’s with you the entire way.

“But it’s not enough.”

“Yes it is, Y/n. And I don't know what else to say to get through that thick head of yours. I love you for being you. And I love you for accepting me for who I am, not who I need to be. I don't need you to offer me anything besides your love.”

“That's the thing. I can only offer you my love.”

“I don’t care! Y/n, you need to realize how much you affect me. And I can't let you go around saying those words because they hurt me. It genuinely hurts me to hear those words.”

“…. I'm sorry.”

“Y/n, you truly don’t know how much you help those around you?”

It was silent for a moment.

“You work in a damn orphanage, for crying out loud! For fun. And it just makes me appreciate you. Appreciate how much you enjoy the happiness of other people. It’s all I could ever ask for.” He wiped the tears falling from your eyes.

“Please don’t cry. I just need you to know how much I love you. Why can't you see that? Do you not love me anymore?”

With zero hesitation, you released his hand from your face and stood up, “No! Don’t say that! Of course I still love you!”

“… it’s just that…”

“Don’t even say it, Y/n.”

The gloomy night has come to an end. And yet Jaehyun will not— will never— leave you behind. 

☹ ☹ ☹

Gonna regret being too honest

Callin' it love, but this isn’t fallin'

It’s the following morning. It is truly a gloomy morning, in fact. The rain was slowly pouring, the wind was rustling against the trees, and the upcoming fog coming from the ocean was painting the neighborhood.

The minute you woke up in Jaehyun’s arms, you remembered the fight the night prior. And, God, did you feel like an absolute ass.

Could this be it? It’s been three years and yet the question still lingers. Just why? It seems as though you bring him so much pain and yet he has chosen nothing but enduring the repercussions of your wrath.

You gradually regained the strength to get up and without a minute to spare, you quietly escaped out of Jaehyun’s protective arms to make breakfast. Some sort of remedy to help heal the pain of last night's argument.  

You sat on one of the island chairs waiting for the food to cook in the oven. Slowly but surely, you were once again trapped in your thoughts. Were you being too harsh? Were you being too honest? Were you actually enough to be with the most amazing man on planet Earth? 

All of these questions were paused by the padding of feet coming into the kitchen. You look up at him, not expecting anyone else. And in his dazed glory, Jeong Yoon Oh was still the most precious human being that had ever entered your existence.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing you’re able to say before finally crying. Crying the waves of emotions that you felt the night before yet did not physically show.

He didn’t say a single word. He didn’t have to. All he did was take you in his embrace and whispered apologies and sweet nothings into your ears. The rest of the morning went by with stuffy noses and quiet munches.

—

“I’m sorry about last night,” you apologized once again, sitting on the bed watching him get ready through the mirror.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I just want you to know that you can lean on me. You’ve been able to lean on me for years now…. I didn’t mean to yell but desperate times call for desperate measures,” says Jaehyun.

“But I'm not desperate at all, you know that.”

“Yes but don’t you know I’m so desperate for you?” 

[chainera]

My Thoughts on Vercury + Doodles

To be honest, my relationship with this pairing is literally a love-hate one.

When I first heard about it, I’m not going to lie, I was super turned off. This was during SolarBall’s early episodes, where Mercury was shown constantly being bullied by Venus and I could not imagine being paired with my bully if I was in a similar situation. There was no chemistry between them, and even if there was, it wouldn’t be healthy. Especially during the whole Venus’ name arc, where Mercury constantly mocked him and got an asteroid to the face. Personally, the ship made no sense to me and sounded downright toxic. But of course, the more recent episodes came out. The atmosphere (even though there’s no atmosphere in space lol) between Mercury and Venus seemed… more neutral than hostile or tense. This is mostly because Mercury started to stand up for himself. Two scenes of note is the moment where Mercury laughed at Venus’ comment during the Rocky Planets episode and when Mercury snapped at Venus during the ‘Solar System by Size’ arc. What’s interesting is that after Mercury yells at him, Venus looked regretful, which was definitely new. Mercury didn’t shout at him about the consequences of him siding with the Sun or anything like that either, he simply said that he was fine with Venus hating him ‘for the sake of everyone else’. After that, Venus didn’t immediately change his mind but did try to explain his side of things, which was also new. As of right now I still don’t see anything happening between them, but I definitely do see the appeal in the ship and the potential for it to eventually happen.

From a settings standpoint- the potential is obvious. We don’t know what happened to cause Venus to pick on Mercury so much, we don’t know what their past was like, and with the answers to those questions revealed, Mercury and Venus might reconcile. Venus clearly has a lot of problems with his conditions as being called ‘a literal hell’ by the Earthlings, and Mercury also has his own insecurities and issues with the Sun. Mercury is already learning how to deal with these things, but Venus hasn’t quite figured it out yet. I’m quite interested on how Venus will be developed and how Mercury will play a role in this. I don’t think Venus downright despises Mercury, and vice versa, but they do have a ton of shit to sort out which may lead to a hopefully happy ending. Now, from a character standpoint there’s also a ton of potential. Venus and Mercury are kind of opposites, and yknow the saying… opposites attract. It would be really sweet if Mercury could calm Venus down when he was getting too ticked off, and Venus could treat Mercury nicely in his own way. Their personalities contrast really well. I didn’t like Vercury before because I felt if it actually happened Mercury would just allow Venus to treat him like crap, but now I feel like Mercury would know how to set proper boundaries and they would be equals. In a healthy relationship, there shouldn’t be a power imbalance, so with Mercury’s character development and Venus’ potential to change and be kinder (though not necessarily gentler) power imbalance shouldn’t be a problem. Another aspect is the fact that Venus and Mercury are both quite lonely. Earth and Mars are extremely close friends (or more haha), and while Mercury does have the Sun, he’s kind of forced to walk on eggshells in that relationship. They’re also neighbor planets, so there’s that. In all, I definitely agree with the concept of Vercury, but if it should happen, it should be after Venus and Mercury at least began to try and sort everything out. Here’s some (a bit spicy) doodles as a reward for listening to my rant again :D

As always, I’m open to other people’s opinions- especially on a topic as complex as this one. I just ask that you be respectful. Thank you.

[raisedbythetv89]

excuse the ranting here but just had someone try and argue that a fully evil literally on the hunt for the Slayer (bc he’s stalking his PREY to fight and hopefully kill) Spike - finding Buffy attractive (according to an interview James gave where he talks about that moment and said he embodied the kinds of predatory men who literally are “on the hunt” for real life women in bars) as anywhere NEAR the same level of creepiness as a SOULFUL aka SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD angel stalking and falling in love at the sight of an innocent and crying 15 year old Buffy….

Anti spike/spuffy ppl always try and use that interview to make Spike out to be “just as creepy” as Angel which is always just so embarrassing to me that they don’t grasp the basic difference between one was the most evil and literally is a predator to her prey but buffy is also a predator to spike’s kind so there is even still a balance of power between them even then and he’s literally just explaining how he played the scene to get the attitude and body language right as a predator bc he understands that’s what Spike is to Buffy at that time (literally had zero clue he would ever be a love interest of Buffy’s). And the other who is not supposed to be a predator anymore…. hides his identity as a vampire AND hides the fact that he’s been watching her for over a year is still acting as a predator but instead of stalking an experienced slayer to attempt to fight and kill he is stalking a freshly called still weak and vulnerable slayer who he wants to sleep with aka corrupt.

Angel is supposed to be GOOD yet is still acting like a predator. Spike IS EVIL and so is simply acting as someone who has killed two slayers should 💀💀💀💀 the fact that soulless evil Spike and soulful “good” Angel’s behavior can be compared AT ALL is bad for angel and angel alone bc spike is supposed to be evil and treating buffy as someone he is hunting and as an opponent. Angel is supposed to be HELPING Buffy….

But regardless of all that the argument is James said Sarah is beautiful so of course he played up that angle as well so canonically Spike thinks a 16 year old Buffy is pretty and these people really don’t understand the difference between the two 😭😭

First of all I personally have heard Sarah call herself “not the prettiest” at least 10 times in 10 different interviews - how often do you think the people in her life heard her make jokes or comments about her appearance??? To me that always seemed like James just paying a compliment to his costar who doesn’t understand how literally fucking STUNNING she is by basically being like HAVE YOU SEEN HER OF COURSE MY CHARACTER THINKS SHE’S PRETTY LOOK AT HER!! James literally rizzed his way into a main character and love interest like of course he’s gonna be charming in real life by paying compliments to everyone he can every chance he gets. He had sex appeal and a dream AND IT WORKED 💀 and we also see him have chemistry with practically every person on the show that’s just who he is 😹😹😹

But I also just cannot emphasize how much of a difference there is between finding someone attractive or thinking they’re beautiful vs actually ACTING on it and ESPECIALLY acting on it when you call her friend of the same age “just a kid” and say over and over again how wrong it is and that she’s too young AND THEN DO IT ANYWAY. Like it’s a supernatural show with vampires who are 100 & 200+ years old if angel hadn’t constantly acted like her dad and treated Buffy like a kid and everything is season 3 didn’t happen there could be sooooooo much more leniency with angel and buffy’s age differences and I probably wouldn’t care bc applying irl rules to the supernatural doesn’t make a lot of sense but angel always treats her like a child and says over and over again how wrong it is and THAT is what makes it a problem within this supernatural show bc Spike never treats her like a child or like she isn’t his equal ever no matter what age she is

But unfortunately it makes sense people who like a character whose main personality trait is !catholic guilt! (when he’s got a soul) don’t understand the difference between thoughts and actions and how we should only be defining ourselves and other people by their actions. Because we are not every single thought we’ve ever had both good and bad. If you think to do good things but don’t that does not make you good and if you think to do bad things but don’t that does not make you bad.

So evil Spike thinking a beautiful Buffy dancing with her friends is hot at 16 is not even CLOSE to the same as a supposed to be good angel activity pursuing a relationship with her by breadcrumbing the absolute fuck out of her, manipulating her like crazy and lying to her about practically everything and flirting with her under false pretenses after falling in love at the sight of her looking like a child with her lollipop on the school steps at 15 and then watching her cry in the bathroom mirror as he watches her from the bushes with a smile on his face and hope in his eyes and if you don’t understand that there is literally nothing I can do or say to help you

[amandacanwrite]

The Violet Thread of Fate Part One:

The Reclusive Wizard and the Cheeky Upstart

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight || Join Taglist

POV || Third Person, dual POV Gale Dekarios and Elinna Inklynn (Tav)

Pairing || Elinna Inklynn (Half-drow tav) and Gale Dekarios

Length || 5,500 Words

Scenario || In an alternative timeline for the events of BG3 Elinna Inklynn, an orphan from the Moonshae Islands seeks out the tutelage of accomplished wizard Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep. She has a knack with the Weave, but no money or connections to actually learn how to harness it. She has heard the wizard is a gentleman and a schollar, and hopes she can appeal to him to take her on as his apprentice in exchange for her help around his tower, with his research, and in running errands in Waterdeep. Unfortunately for her, Gale Dekarios does not take on apprentices.

Warnings || Age gap (Perhaps about 10ish years), depiction of depression and heart ache, description of very, very mild body horror.

A/n || I hope you all enjoy this very indulgent little fic I'm starting. I am already having entirely too much fun with it. Please keep in mind that while this fic will have a good amount of characters and scenarios from the canon events of BG3 I am planning on taking a lot of creative liberties and may leave out certain situations/characters for the sake of flow!

If you like this, you may also like my original works! I have a writing taglist that you can sign up for simply by commenting or reblogging and letting me know you'd like to be added. OR you can fill out this form if you'd like to be specific about which works you'd like to be tagged in.

Tag list || @softvampirewhump @horizonstride @thoughts-of-bear @mymybirdie @tiedyedghoulette @drabblesandimagines @madwomansapologist @hijirikaww @tryingtowritestuff24 @laserlope @auroraesmeraldarose @puckprimrose @dont-try-pesticide

A Reclusive Wizard

“Mr. Dekarios, if you would just consider it–” Tara suggested as she fluttered alongside her charge. 

“Tara, no,” Gale said. “We are not dropping the wards and we’re not taking visitors. The orb is too volatile.”

“But, Mr. Dekarios–I’ve told you this isolation of yours–” 

“Tara–enough,” Gale shouted, exasperated. “You are my friend. You’re not my mother. I’m a grown man, who has done quite well for himself, might I add, and I don’t need your–your incessant fussing.”

“Mr. Dekarios!” Tara tutted, her whiskers perking forward with her disapproval. “My incessant fussing is what helped you figure out how to stabilize the orb in the first place, may I remind you. And if you so tire of my incessant fussing, allow me to divest of its burden! I may not be your mother, but your mother is a friend to me and will happily put me up.”

“Tara,” Gale said. “Wait–I didn’t mean you should leave–”

“I know that. But I am also quite aware that my willingness to fetch magical items and act as your little familiar has proven to only enable your reclusive habits,” she retorted. “Perhaps you will not listen to me, but when you run out of biscuits for your tea, perhaps you’ll see the reason in getting a little bit of fresh air…and perhaps a bath…and for the sake of the gods a shave.”

Tara flitted her way up to one of the high windows in the tower, pausing on the sill before leaving.

“Tara, don’t go,” Gale said, his eyes taking on a sort of sorry, piteous quality. “Please, just stay here.”

“Mr. Dekarios, those big glittering eyes won’t work on me any longer,” Tara said. “I’ve known you too long to be bewitched by your pouting. If you so wish me to return, you can come fetch me at your childhood home. The walk will do you well.”

And with that, she soared right out of the window, leaving Gale of Waterdeep entirely and utterly alone. 

Gale scowled up at the window she’d escaped from before sighing and smearing a hand down his face. He cupped his hand over his mouth and heaved out a low grumble, lost in thought as he often was these days. 

Perhaps Tara was right…maybe it was time to leave the tower. To engage in the ease of camaraderie at The Yawning Portal, reach out to the colleagues that had tried to pay him a visit in the year since his relationship with Mystra had come to an end–since this tangle of Netherese magic made a home of his chest cavity. 

But it wasn’t just the volatile nature of the orb that worried him. It wasn’t as if he thought a raucous night with his friends would trigger an explosion to level the city he called home. Even with the constant peril of the orb in his chest being destabilized by a too-strong emotion, there was a deeper fear inspiring the reluctance.

Gale Dekarios was used to being an outlier. Unfortunately, it was the otherside of the coin of being a particularly gifted wizard. As a child, it had been a source of ostracization. As an adolescent it made him the subject of many an ill-begotten rivalry. As a young man he had begun to learn how to minimize the isolation by compensating for the inevitable inferiority complex he inspired in others by learning to be charming and funny–to couch his corrections in complimentary language so that he could have some measure of friendship.

It wasn’t often that he could find people that could keep up with him or converse with him on his level–at least, not where the subject of magic came into play. But he’d learned to accept that and enjoy the company of other wizards–even non-wizards–in different ways. 

A game of lanceboard, the critical analysis of a book, a spirited debate on the merits of the shadow arts when applied to the correct endeavors. Now, as a man in his late 30’s with questionable knees, he felt nicely secure in his ability to play nice with others. 

But this new sense of separation–this insurmountable mountain between himself and the other–had been so very devastating to the life he had carefully cultivated. 

How could he listen to other people lament about their sordid love affairs, the politics at the academy–anything– with any measure of understanding or empathy? How could he confide in the people who he used to call his friends? 

He was alone in the tower, but he wasn’t certain he could face the profound isolation of trying to connect with someone about his condition, only to find them staring back at him in utter befuddlement. Or worse, with soulless platitudes and what he could only describe as foolish optimism.

Who could possibly make him feel better when there was no way he could ever feel better? How could he listen to the woes of friends and earnestly care about them when he had been forsaken by the goddess of the only thing he held sacred in his life?

He couldn’t. That was a the truth of it. And that was why he didn’t want visitors. He didn’t want to subject his friends to the poor quality of his care; didn’t want to expose them to this unique brand of selfishness and bitterness. 

He’d had enough of destroying things. 

But he also knew he needed Tara–not just because of the artifacts, but because she was his oldest and longest standing friendship. And because the tower, in her absence, had already become unbearably quiet.

And he supposed it had been a while since he last saw his mother…

He sighed and turned away from his mess of a study, climbing up the two flights of stairs to his bedchambers. Once there, he conjured himself a bath as he undressed, leaving his house robes in a pile on the floor before stepping into the steaming water. 

It smelled of bay laurel and lavender–an old combination that Mystra loved to use when they’d shared baths together. His mind drifted to the thought of his goddess cradled against his body, how small she felt even with her considerable power, the feeling of her silky hair catching on his skin as he kissed the hollow of her neck and…

“Don’t take that path in your mind, Gale. She’s the last person you should be thinking about right now,” he told himself as he gave his cheek a couple firm, bracing pats with his hand. He let his head drop back in the water and sighed. 

The water filled his ears, quieting the ambient sounds in the room around him and creating an echochamber of his head. He heard the airy sound of his breaths coming and going in and out of his lungs; heard the gentle trickling sounds of his fingers creating tiny currents under the water; heard the sound of his heart still beating in his over-crowded chest. 

He was still alive. 

There could be hope for him yet. 

Unlikely, sure, but there could be. 

After washing up with some simple soap, he got out of the bath and toweled off. 

He walked over to the small wardrobe where he kept his things and slapped a couple lazy splashes of a fragranced suspension he’d made onto his neck, favoring his pulse points as he used to when he’d go out for a night at The Yawning Portal. He trimmed his beard as a small concession to Tara (he would not be shaving it completely, thank you very much,) and got dressed. 

He decided he would wear one of his nicer sets of robes. It’d been a while since he’d properly dressed himself in something other than simple tunics and roughspun practice robes. He started with some leather trousers and his under shirt, layering the criss-crossed front with car and fastening it with the ties at his waist to create a slender, tapered silhouette. Then he slipped the robe on, and paused as he caught a glance of himself in the mirror. 

He’d not really been thinking when he selected the robe, but this was one of Mystra’s favorites on him. Various shades of violet with a wine-colored sash. 

Violet, of course, was the color of the weave. Mystra’s color. 

Would she want him to eliminate the color from his wardrobe altogether? Now that she’d left him to his devices? Surely a goddess couldn’t bar him from wearing a color. Hopefully not, considering more than half of his wardrobe was some shade of lilac, lavender or morning glory.

Whatever the case, he fastened the buckles and straightened the sash the wine colored sash, trying once again to put Mystra out of his mind. He did a flick of his hands to lace up the sleeves and then slid on some leather bracers for good measure. 

It wasn’t as if he had any intention of doing any fighting or shooting any arrows, but he liked how they looked. And it had been so long since he’d looked in the mirror and thought to himself my, look at that handsome devil.

Finally he looked at the mop of his hair. It’d also been too long since he’d gotten a cut…now his messy curls fell past his shoulders when he usually preferred to keep it short enough to comb back with a bit of emollient or pomade. He was certain his mother would gripe about it and then he would have to deal with incessant fussing two fold between his mother and Tara. Still, it was dark outside–long past the time any salons would be open, so he gathered half of it up, bundling it as neatly as he could manage around his two forefingers and secured it with a two-pronged hairpin. 

He looked at the earring on his wardrobe and hedged for a moment. 

He’d been given the earring as a gift from Mystra when he’d first encountered her as a boy. He’d only stopped wearing it in the last year. Something had felt off about keeping it on–like a widower still wearing his wedding band. But it also felt wrong to leave his tower without it. It felt like a part of his identity. 

“You’re ridiculous,” he said to himself in the mirror before turning from it and striding out of his bedroom. 

…He returned not two seconds later and slipped the earring into his left ear. Damn it all. He couldn’t help what he was. A sentimental, heartbroken fool.

On his way out the door, he grabbed a hooded cloak and draped it over his shoulders. He lifted the hood, obscuring his face in shadow, hoping it would be enough to keep him from having to interact with anyone who wasn’t Tara of his mother. He considered, for a moment, casting an invisibility charm on himself…alas the concentration such a thing would require left him feeling exhausted at the thought of it. The cloak had worked for rogues and criminals for centuries. Suely it could work for him as well. 

Finally, he left the safety and control his tower afforded him and walked out into the cold, Waterdhavian night. 

A Cheeky Upstart

“Okay Elinna. Just…ring the doorbell. You’ve traveled all the way here. So just ring it,” a young woman told herself as she stood outside the wrought iron gates. “You sailed all the way from the Moonshae Islands, left every book behind, dealt with some of the worst sea sickness in all of the realms just to be here.”

Despite telling herself this, she had to shake out some of the numbness in her fingers from clenching her fists too tight. Or maybe it was just the nip in the air from the coastal evening. She couldn’t truly be sure. 

As she stood there, her green eyes caught a streak of movement in the sky–some winged creature departing from a high window of the tower. She couldn’t quite make out what it was. Maybe a gargoyle? Or a mephit? An imp?

Something churned in her gut at the thought of Gale of Waterdeep cavorting with the infernal. Perhaps that was why no one had seen him in such a long time–maybe he’d made a pact with a devil and lost some of his humanity in the exchange. Maybe she ought to just turn on her shabby heels and book passage back home. 

“You can’t do that, Elinna,” she told herself. “You already spent everything you have just to get here. You’re all in, now.”

But that was precisely why she couldn’t bring herself to tug on the chain to ring the doorbell. Who was she to show up at the door of one of the best wizards–a proper prodigy of composing strings of the weave; the apprentice of the famous Elminster, no less?

Well she knew the answer to that. 

She was desperate. That’s what she was. 

She’d been left at the Scribe’s Nest by her mother with nothing but a note and an old locket she couldn’t get open; drow craftsmanship. The note detailed her lineage as a half-drow, but begged the clerics of the temple to take her in and raise her. According to the note left in her swaddle, Elinna would be shunned and excluded by because of her impure blood. 

A shame for both her mother and Elinna herself that the Scribe’s Nest had simply moved into an old Temple of Ilmater. The inhabitants inside were nothing but glorified librarians. They may have had access to all of the books in the world, but not a single one of her guardians actually knew how to use the information inside. 

No. Instead, they tried to raise her to love cataloging the written word, but deny herself the joy of actually using anything she learned from the old dusty tomes in the temple. Even when she’d shown a natural knack for small magics, she had been discouraged from using them, leaving her with no choice but to practice in the wee hours of the night. 

She knew she hadn’t much to use as a benchmark for her growth as a burgeoning young wizard, but she thought for all of the effort she’d put in she made a half-decent self-taught magician. All she needed was some proper tutelage to become something truly magnificent. Something worthy of the tales of great wizards that she’d read. 

Which brought her here–to the first and only plan she had to seek out that higher learning. And now her future hung in the balance of whether or not her knock at the door–or rather the ring of the doorbell–would be answered. 

Her heart pounded in her chest, at her temples. He leather fingerless gloves squeaked as she flexed and clenched her fists. 

“Gah!” she cried, turning away from the gate, pacing across the narrow cobbled street, then pacing right back. She gasped in a few preparatory breaths and hopped from one soft-soled foot to the other. “Just do it, just DO it, Elinna. Just–”

The door of the tower opened, it’s underutilized hinges creaking as the man opening the door grunted. 

“Damnable–old door–why did I make you out of iron,” grumbled the voice. 

Elinna went entirely still, eyes going wide. 

Perhaps it was habit from how many times she’d had to sneak tomes away from the restricted areas of the Scribe’s Nest, but she ducked behind the stone columns holding up the wrought iron gate and watched as the cloaked figure made his way to the gate and slipped outside of it with a wave of his hand. 

She remained hidden as he looked down the road in her direction, his eyes looking too distantly to catch her small frame tucked away in the dark. 

She’d seen sketches of the Gale Dekarios before, but she couldn’t help but feel they did him no justice. The etchings seemed to have emphasized the wizened qualities of his features; the lines around his eyes, the creases around his lips. They made him look sagely and–well–old. 

But the real man, the one now standing in the flesh just a few feet from her was something different entirely. 

He showed signs of age, of course. He was a middle-aged man, after all. But his lips were fuller, his beard a little more tidy, and his eyes…

His eyes were what made him look the most youthful. There was a sort of shimmer to them that she couldn’t quite describe, a sort of weight to his brow that made him look as if he was always curious, always observing.

She watched as he pulled his cloak a little tighter around him and turned the opposite direction, walking down the narrow street. 

Wait, she thought. What am I doing?!

She hesitated for only one more moment before quickly hurrying after him. She searched her mind for all of the speeches she’d practiced for this introduction, but she was left wanting. She should have written it down so that she wouldn’t forget–or would it have been even more strange for read her introduction off the pages of a notebook? 

It was all strange, of course; a girl crossing the ocean to show up on the doorstep of a stranger several years her senior. Asking for an apprenticeship when she hadn’t so much as sent him a letter of introduction or even had anything to offer in exchange except for chores, errands and meal preparations. Seeking tutelage from one of the most accomplished young wizards when she was still struggling with even the most basic of incantations…

But what else could she do? 

The life of a Scribe Nest Archiver was not a luxurious one. She’d had to sneak out of the old Nest to sing songs at the local tavern to scrape what little money she could together to book passage to even get here. 

Blackstaff wasn’t exactly inexpensive–and even if it was, she couldn’t hope to get in. Not with how poorly she handled the weave. 

But Gale–she had read transcripts of his lectures, heard tales of how magnanimous and warm he could be. She even once met one of his friends at the tavern who was visiting the islands for this or that purpose–she couldn’t remember. She only remembered the tales of his kindness and generosity. Of his gentleman’s nature. 

He seemed like her only real chance at ever mastering this art that sang to her like a harpy at roost in the bay.

God’s he was walking fast though. Perhaps it was just because she was so short in comparison to him, but she was almost having to run to catch up to him. 

“E-excuse me,” she finally said when she was within earshot.

She saw the briefest glance back at her, the quickest flash of a startled expression, before he focused forward and quickened his pace.  

“No, thank you,” Dekarios replied. “I’ve already a subscription to the Waterdhavian times.”

“Uhm, no–that’s not–” she stammered. “Wait, could you please stop walking so fast!”

“I’m in a dreadful hurry, good night to you,” he said dismissively, walking even faster as he pulled his cloak further to guard his face. 

“Mr. Dekarios! I’ve come here to talk to you!” She shouted, a little crack of desperation coming out with it. “Mr. Dekarios I–”

He whirled on her, suddenly encroaching into her space. He was so quick that she almost stumbled backward and fell. Before she could, though, he seized her arm with one strong hand, stablizing her quickly before clasping his other hand over her mouth.

She stared up at him with wide eyes, bright irises flicking around his face as if she were prey caught in his snare.

“Shhhh,” he hissed before looking around, as if to see if anyone heard her. “Mystra’s Elbow, you’d think my reputation as a newly initiated recluse would have gotten around by now.”

Elinna swallowed dryly, critically aware of the feeling of his calloused fingertips on the soft swells of her freckled cheeks. She blinked up at him, unsure what to do. His hand felt warm through the roughspun, puffed sleeves of her Scribe’s Nest garments.  Her feet were sort of turned in awkwardly after he’s caught her mid fall. 

She wondered if it would have looked like she was being accosted by a thief to a wandering bystander. She supposed it didn’t matter because no one else was here. She knew she should have been afraid. That she was a young woman alone with an older man; that he’d rendered her silent and could easily do much worse. But she also knew that was likely the experiences at the tavern thinking for her. 

Gale was supposed to be a gentleman. That’s what she’d always heard. And…

And his hands smelled like…like tea and old parchment and sage. There was a somewhat sharp quality to the fragrance–perhaps a suspension alchemized in alcohol of some sort. He must have made it himself. 

“Now. This behavior of mine, admittedly, is abhorrent for a gentleman with a young lady. I will have to ask you to forgive my bad manners and to give me the grace of your understanding because I simply did not want to be greeted by anyone aside from my mother and my cat. Now. I am going to take my hand away from your mouth; apologies again for the rough handling. But I’m going to then need you to let me walk away. And perhaps most importantly, I need you to leave me alone,” Gale said quietly. “Do we have an accord?”

Elinna’s pale ginger brow furrowed and he tutted quietly. 

“No, no. No crinkles of the brow, no narrowing of the eyes, miss,” he scolded. “It is by mere coincidence you’ve even caught me out of my tower. By all accounts this is an anomaly of the highest order and therefore…uhm…does not count. You should just forget this ever happened. In fact, I could help you do so if you like!”

Doesn’t count? What kind of logic–that was school-boy logic! And what did he mean help her forget?! She jerked her arm away from him and, perhaps in a moment of panic he tightened his grip.

“Alright, alright! I’m going to let you go–just– remember our deal, please,” he said, releasing her arm.

He winced slightly as he hesitated to remove his other hand from her mouth. She thought he had the same expression one might have if they were about to remove a cork from a vial of smelling salts.

He released his other hand, drawing it away from her mouth. 

“Mr. Dekarios, I’ve come to ask you to take me on as an apprentice,” Elinna blurted out. “I know you have never met me, and that you have no notion of my ability or skill. And that showing up outside of a strangers house and asking them for a place to live–”

“I’m sorry, a place to live?” He interjected with an incredulous tone

“--and a comprehensive education in the arcane arts–” she continued.

“I assure you I do not have the time, and it certainly wouldn’t be proper for an older man to bring a young woman into his home to–” he interjected again. 

“ But I have nowhere else to turn and…And I’m afraid I can’t take no for an answer.”

His brows shot up as she finally stopped speaking. She didn’t know what to make of that expression, nor the silence that followed. Elinna could feel her face beginning to warm and she knew from  that her face was already starting to color with her own nerves. It felt the same way it did when a tavern patron made a bawdy joke at her expense–or about her body. 

The silence was the most unbearable part, though. So she started to fill it, her face getting warmer by the moment.

“You’re silent,” she said. “Uh–right. Names. I’m Elinna Inklyn. I hail from the Moonshae Islands. I grew up under the care of the Scribe’s Nest Archivists and–”

“Elinna. Elinna,” he said, his tone almost pitying. “I’m going to stop you right there.”

She felt her heart sink as he pinched the bridge of his nose and tilted his head back, looking toward the sky. “Look, Miss Inklyn. I’m sorry that you came all this way, but. I am afraid you must take no as an answer. I cannot take on an apprentice, even if I wanted to.” He winced and almost half shrugged. “And frankly, I really do not want to. Even if I could do it, I wouldn’t want to do it.”

“But–if you’d let me explain–” she protested. 

“No–no buts. Again, I am dreadfully sorry for the trouble you went through to get here. But…considering that you sought me out and addressed me by name, you must know who I am.” he said. 

“Yes,” she answered. 

“So, then you know that I am particularly gifted with manipulating the weave,” he said. “That’s why you’ve sought me out.”

“Yes,” she said yet again. “Well part of the reason but also because–”

“So, then I’m sure you could understand why I find the inadequacies of unskilled wizards irksome, correct? That if I were to take on an apprentice, it would be someone with a certain level of innate talent?”

Her brow furrowed again and she inhaled to speak, but before another word could fall out of her mouth a huge boom of sound tore out from the sky above them. She clapped her gloved hands over her ears and yelped.

“What was that?” she shouted. 

The two looked up at the source of the sound only to see the sky split open like it’d been torn by a dull blade. Out of the opening flew a giant aircraft with writhing tentacles slicing through the air as if it were a squid traversing deep sea waters. The two wizards–one novice and one adept–balked at the appearance of the spelljammer, the size of it practically the size of Gale’s tower if you laid it on its side.

“A nautiloid?” They both said at the same time. 

They met eyes briefly before Gale gritted his teeth and grasped onto her arm, almost flinging her away from him

“Get out of here, Elinna. And whatever you do don’t let the tentacles touch you,” he shouted. 

She stumbled, almost falling on her face, looking back at him. 

“What about you?!” she cried. 

“I’m a wizard,” he said before turning and casting a bolts of ice at two of the tentacles that swatted out toward them. 

“It’s a spelljammer!”

“I’m a very, very good wizard!” he said. 

Elinna’s sense of self preservation won out over her worry for the man she’d come here to meet. If he thought he could take on a nautiloid, who was she to deny that? She turned and sprinted down the narrow street before dodging down an alleyway in hopes of getting cover from the massive tentacles that now swept down toward the ground like great, giant whips. 

She chanced a single look back to see Gale running just behind her, and the spelljammer that was traveling far too quickly and far too low to the ground for comfort. He followed her down the alleyway, calling ahead. “Not that way! To the east–”

“I don’t know which way east is!” she shouted back. 

“Are you kiddi–Eugh–LEFT,” he said. “LEFT, LEFT! Go LEFT!”

“Alright, I heard you!” she said. “No need to shout!”

“I will shout if I want to, now–Elinna, look out!”

She looked ahead just in time to see a brick wall and slipped on her worn soles as she tried to come to a screeching halt. 

She slammed into the wall, but thankfully not with enough force to knock her out.  She managed to clumsily tumble toward the left, dropping onto her fingertips just a moment before lurching back upright. Gale caught up to her and cast some spell–gust, she assumed– because a strong wind caught in the fabric of her clothes like a breeze in the sails of a galeon and made her feel like she was running on air. 

He fought off another tentacle and she screamed as one almost tagged her, but smashed an old fish barrel to bits instead.

“Keep going. We’ll lose it on the main road,” Gale yelled.  

They spilled out onto a wider street and she immediately regretted listening to the Waterdhavian native. It’d seemed a sound plan at first. But only if the goal of the ship was to find them specifically. When they made it to the street, Elinna realized that was not the drive of the nautiloid at all. 

The main road was chaos. There were carts toppled over and people lying trampled on the ground. People ran and screamed, some of them were swatted by the terrifying power of the tentacles only to vanish into dust before they could make impact with the wall of a building or the floor below them.

Elinna froze in terror, realizing finally that her plight had gone from one of trying to secure a teacher of her own to one of simply trying to survive her first night on the mainland. It suddenly dawned on her that she might actually die here. She might die within moments. 

She couldn’t think. Couldn’t move.

It was a mistake to stop, but she realized it too late. A horse cried out desperately and tore away from the frightening vessel. It tore straight toward her, its eyes wild, his nose gusting tufts of steam into the air like a machine. It pulled a market cart along with it, full of heavy barrels of meat and wine. She braced herself, squeezing her eyes shut and thinking about the magic she’d read about. Misty step–misty step, what was the incantation for misty step?

“I-Inveniam Viam!!” she shouted, the words sailing on waves of the weave and almost…echoing. There was the sweet taste of something on her tongue–the after effect of using the weave if her reading was any indication. She’d only tasted that once or twice before, but chasing that sweet, comforting experience was what brought her here. It’s what made her so desperately want to learn how to wield this magic.

When she opened her eyes, the horse was gone.

Unfortunately for her, so was the ground beneath her feet. 

She’d somehow teleported into midair and, as if the weave was just as shocked as she was, she’d wound up suspended there for just the briefest moment, cradled by the strands of the weave she’d managed to manipulate. Seconds felt like minutes as he copper hair floate away from her face as she experienced true weightlessness for just moments. Then she felt the sickening churn in her stomach as she started to fall. 

The floor just far enough to be lethal but not far enough to give her adequate time to figure out another spell. Her mind went blank with terror. In a moment of desperation, she found Gale in the crowd, a stationary man in a sea of fleeing people. 

He looked at her in abject horror as she dropped like a dagger out of the sky. He looked utterly, woefully helpless.

She screamed, wrapping her arms around her as if she could brace her own fall, as if holding herself would hold her together.

Then, just as she was about to splat on the cobblestones into a puddle of bone and blood, a searing heat bloomed from the center of her back. She screamed again as she felt herself dissolve from the inside out, her innards liquifying into a primordial soup. 

Her body went miserably hot, and then impossibly cold. No. Not cold–she realized–absent. She was vanishing from the center of her body. She watched in uncomprehending horror as her middle vanished, watched as her body evaporated like steam off a teacup. 

Her guttural scream sounded from her and died in the air. 

The last thing she saw before her vision went black was Gale still staring at her as he too succumbed to the nautiloid’s attack.

[nhasablogg]

If I'm to let it in, it might just stay forever

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Characters: Derek/Spencer

Summary: Derek and Spencer go to the tickle club.

Anonymous said: So in the For Love to Replace your Shame fic the last line basically says that after a couple weeks they walk back into the club hand in hand. I was wondering if you could write a small fic where Derek and Spencer are in the club together? I just wanna see Spencer actually be able to enjoy it :)) -M

Words: 1.4k

Read it on AO3.

Referenced fic here.

Spencer looked good under the flashing lights. Not necessarily as though he belonged, because he was visibly nervous, his grip on Derek’s hand tight enough to be uncomfortable, but he looked good because he seemed giddy. A spark in his eyes which Derek hadn’t really seen before, especially not in regards to this, something that still made him shut down before he realized he wasn’t being judged.

The Feather was jam-packed. A Saturday, which had been absolutely freezing and miserable, prompting desperate people to seek fun after dark, and boy did they sound like they were having fun. Now that Derek was here off the clock he felt much more relaxed, and so he was taking it all in differently. Not seeking, simply watching, though he was mostly watching Spencer. While Spencer was obviously still a bit on edge it wasn’t as bad as their first couple of visits. He wasn’t alone with his feelings anymore, his shoulders lighter. His eyes were everywhere, head going back and forth, his cheeks pinkening as the ticklish laughter surrounded them.

Derek leaned closer to him to be heard over the music. “We can stay as long as you want, which also means we can leave whenever, okay?”

Spencer nodded. “Okay.”

“I mean it, pretty boy. The minute you want to leave, we leave.”

Spencer squeezed his hand. “I hear you.”

“Good.” Derek squeezed back, wondering if the visit would include him tickling Spencer at all or if they would be saving it until later, behind the four walls of a bedroom. He’d just started doing it, tickling Spencer until he was a giggly mess, without it ending with Derek having to reassure him that he loved that this was something he wanted him to do. Not that he minded it, but he was glad it was becoming easier now. He quite enjoyed himself doing it.

They’d decided to come back to The Feather because Derek found it unfair that Spencer had had his eye on this club for ages before he’d been forced to visit it due to a case, but what Derek hadn’t told him was that he was equally as curious to return. Curious about it all, curious about what would catch Spencer’s eye, about how he would react. Spencer could probably feel his gaze on him, and while he might’ve felt self conscious about it he seemed entirely too preoccupied to say anything about it.

“Oh, look, I did that to you last night.” Derek didn’t mean for it to sound as any form of teasing - he genuinely felt a surge of excitement as he caught sight of a woman trying to twist out of the grip of another woman who was targeting her hips - but Spencer covered his face in embarrassment anyway. Maybe Derek wasn’t too mad about it.

“I think this might end me,” he said, peeking out when Derek nudged him.

Spencer didn’t know this, but Derek hadn’t been able to stop thinking of this, this moment, the things Spencer had told him, for the past few days. He’d imagined them entering. Imagined Spencer being grabbed left and right by unknown, eager hands. He’d imagined being jealous, but there had been something appealing about the sight, too. Sensual, almost. Of course that didn’t end up happening, because these people valued consent more than anything. And besides, Spencer didn’t want to come here to get tickled by others. He’d told him that countless times.

“I want to experience it normally,” he’d said. “Remove the case from it.”

And Derek, who had thought of the case nearly every single day since it had happened, had understood what he meant.

They hadn’t talked about what they expected out of this experience. Spencer had seemed too anxious and excited and shy all at the same time for Derek to want to ask. He couldn’t imagine he wanted strangers to touch him anyway, besides his protests, but if he did, in the midst of drunken giddiness to finally be able to be himself, non-judged, Derek needed to quickly decide how he felt about it, because who was he to deny Spencer this if he wanted it?

But who was he kidding. He didn’t like the idea of that at all.

“Quick question,” he said as they elbowed their way deeper into the room, aiming to take a lap before ordering drinks. “I know you said you don’t want to, but if someone grabs for you, am I supposed to protect you?”

“If someone- grabs for me?”

“You know. Pulls you into a tickle fight.”

“Oh. Well, I doubt anyone would.”

“Right, but if.”

“Sure, yeah, protect me. I don’t think I’d like that.”

“I don’t think I’d like that either.”

Spencer grinned, the last bit of anxiety falling off his face. “You’d be jealous.”

“I so wouldn’t.”

“Uh huh.”

Derek liked the fact that Spencer was smiling too much to get all in his feelings about this, and so he merely pulled him closer with the pretense of pulling him with him. He wasn’t stupid enough to think Spencer believed that that was his intention, but it made him feel better to pretend. They’d not reached the stage where honesty overpowered anything else yet. They still had walls, although they’d broken down several of them pre-relationship, if that was what they had. They’d not talked about it.

Derek was absolutely terrified to talk about it, truth be told.

“You think we can just- go in?” he asked as they stopped in front of a door labeled “bondage room”.

Spencer shook his head. “We shouldn’t either way. I wouldn’t want to have people see that.”

“That’s fair.” Memories of the case flashed before him. The idea of Spencer tied up, helpless. The thing he desired being used against him.

A hand on his wrist, squeezing it. “I’m okay, Derek.”

Derek knew he wasn’t, but he didn’t say anything. Instead he slipped his hand into Spencer’s, squeezing it back. “Let’s get something to drink, okay?”

Spencer nodded and they made their way through the crowd hand in hand, something Derek still wasn’t used to.

“Do you want a Tickle Me Drink or a Blushy Lee Bourbon?” Derek asked him as they sat down by the bar, reading off the menu on the wall. When he turned back to him Spencer was blushing, although he didn’t avert his gaze, and Derek suddenly felt as if he would explode.

“Not a fan of bourbon,” was all he said, glancing down up the drinks list. “How about a Pick Your Spot Pina Colada?”

“You got it, pretty boy.”

Derek wanted to tease him about picking a drink without a name which he would have a hard time saying out loud, but he didn’t. Instead he leaned over toward the bartender - not the bastard from the case - and ordered for them both. Derek picked the Cosmotickleton, grinning when Spencer squirmed beside him.

“So,” he said as the bartender went away to start on their drinks. “How are you feeling so far?”

Spencer shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot to take in after everything.” Derek leaned closer, a finger on Spencer’s arm. “How ‘bout you tell me what you’re liking?”

Spencer shivered, subtly, but Derek could feel it. “About the club?”

“Uh huh.”

“I like how accepting it is.” His answer came quickly and easily. “It’s loud and overstimulating, but- well, I’ve never felt safe in a club before, you know?”

Derek wanted to ask more. Wanted to hear him talk about the particular tickle scenarios that were happening all around him, but realized Spencer wasn’t here for that. Realized there was more to it than the exposure to the tickling itself. Maybe one day Derek would understand. He was happy to wait, happy to explore, happy to solve parts of the puzzle himself until that day.

They got their drinks, clinked their glasses together and watched the dance floor. Watched people kiss and grind and tickle and jump. And later, they danced - Spencer was a hip swinger much to Derek’s delight - and as they pressed close, and with Spencer’s permission, he pressed his fingers into his sides, making him swing in a different way. And even later, when they stumbled into Derek’s apartment because it was closer, Derek kissed him for several minutes before he went for his ribs, but only because Spencer had grown impatient.

[yanyanderes]

The yandere self aware concept is so appealing to me

The guy's falling inlove with the person in another universe? Yes, that's amazing. But, when they're yandere? That's some good shit

Imagine Donnie is desperate for reader to be with them, to the point he builds a machine that's supposed to be impossible to build cause of all the multiverse stuff but hey, he IS in a cartoon world so it isn't that impossible

The reader's so confused when they get transported into the rottmnt world, trying to process the scenerio happening to them while the guy's are so happy to actually meet you! They can protect them properly now :)

Reader getting isolated in the guy's home isn't a far fetched idea. If it guarantees reader's safety, why not?

Hey, why're you trying to leave? We're keeping you safe here!

oooh man, this one’s an old one sent back in october.

sorry it took so long! didn’t have any ideas at the time, so i kinda let this sit in my drafts and forgot to get back to it-

but anyways, this one’s a long one, so i put it under the cut.

“…it actually…!”

“i know… genius… thank me later…”

“…alright? ….been unconscious for…”

“i’m sure… soon.”

the voices all blend together. they all seem so familiar… yet (y/n) isn’t able to pinpoint who they belong to, or where they’ve heard them from, especially when their ears are still ringing.

they groan, their head throbbing in agony. what… happened? one moment, they were watching some cartoons on their laptop, and then…

they manage to pry their eyes open, only to shield them again when a bright light practically blinds them.

the ringing doesn’t stop, but it dies down, allowing (y/n) to hear the voices more clearly. they crane their head to the side and see four figures. three stand off to the side, talking amongst themselves, while the fourth is right next to their aching figure.

as their vision clears, they can’t help but think… are they hallucinating? did they have a concussion? there’s no way this is actually happening…

the figure closest to them seems to finally realize they’ve woken up, judging by the way they call out to the others.

“guys! they’re awake!”

(y/n) tries to sit up, yet the moment they do, they clutch their head in agony, a yell escaping their throat as they curl into a ball.

“hey, hey, take it easy.“

a hand rubs circles on their back. the speaker’s voice sounded so concerned for their well-being… hang on. they know that voice- in fact, they know all their voices!

“it’s you-! ah!”

(y/n) turns their head quickly. maybe a bit too quickly, since the pain quickly gets worse and they clutch their head yet again.

“i just told you to take it easy! here, lay back down.”

large yet gentle hands rest on their shoulders, ushering them to rest. even so, (y/n) stays upright.

“i- i know you! i know all of you! you’re- no, there’s no way…”

do their eyes deceive them? the fuzziness in their eyes slowly dissipates, and-

no. no, they don’t. these are in fact four talking mutant turtles standing in front of them.

“there’s no way, no way! i’m dreaming, aren’t i?”

“no, this is no dream, we are all very much real.”

“but- you’re from a tv show! this- this is so weird.”

“you think that’s weird?! imagine being us! we’re just minding our business, testing out mystic weapons, when all of a sudden we hear cheering!”

what?

“not gonna lie, it was kinda creepy at first, but-“

“but you were so sweet, we couldn’t help but love it!”

mikey wraps his arms around (y/n) and pulls them into a hug, the sudden motion making them woozy yet again.

“you called us cool, you cried when we cried, you cheered us on!”

“you- you heard all that??”

“of course we did! and can i just say, you were absolutely adorable while you were gushing over us.”

it takes a moment for (y/n) to process all this information.

they wake up on a table with a throbbing headache… in one of their favorite cartoons… and now they’re being told the characters were watching them as well.

this is kinda cool, but mostly… really freaky. especially with the way they’re acting with them.

“i- um- thanks?”

(y/n) is admittedly really nervous talking to them face-to-face, especially after learning they had been listening to everything they said about them.

“i’m- it’s a pleasure to meet you, but… how am i here?”

“oh, you have me to thank for that! you see, with me being the genius i am, i managed to construct a machine that could transport you from your dimension into ours!”

he what.

“you… what?!”

“i know! incredible, isn’t it?”

“there’s a way to go back, right?”

“you wanna leave already?”

mikey’s excitement quickly dies hearing (y/n)’s words. he releases them from a hug, and they can see the panicked, almost frantic look in his eyes.

“i mean, it’s really nice meeting you all, i just… have a lot of business to catch up on in my world, and i’d like to get back as soon as possible.”

“but- but- there’s so much we still have to do!”

“and you said you loved us, didn’t you? every time you showed up, you’d be all over us!”

“i know, i just-“

their eyes dart to donnie, hoping he would butt in to help their case. donnie and leo give a quick glance at each other, with leo giving donnie a small nod.

“of course. we understand, pulling you from your dimension and forcing you into ours was wrong, and we apologize. we’ll get to work immediately to rectify our mistake.”

(y/n) lets out a relieved sigh, happy to hear they would be going home soon. though, was it just them, or was donnie acting a bit… off?

they had little time to think on it when mikey’s grip on them returns, this time nearly crushing their ribs.

“donnie, what’re you doing?! they can’t leave yet! raph, tell them they can’t leave yet!”

(y/n)’s gaze flickers over to donnie, who was currently working with the machine that had brought them there. however, they can’t help but worry for the strange noises that emit from the machine…

raph is quick to distract them by stepping in the way, blocking donnie from their field of vision. no matter how they crane their neck, raph seems determined to stay in their sights.

“before you go, why don’t you rest a bit? donnie said something about headaches, are you alright? need me to get you anything? drinks? food? pillows?”

“you can have all the drinks, food, and pillows you want if you stay!”

“but i can’t, i have a life to live! family to take care of, friends to visit, a home to go back to-!”

“this can be your new home!”

the desperation in mikey’s voice only gets more noticeable as he talks more and more.

“we’ll love you, we’ll take care of you! you won’t have to worry about visiting anyone! we’ll give you everything you want!”

by this point, (y/n) had started struggling to get out of mikey’s death grip. what is up with these guys?? they never acted like this in the show!

“i already told you, i can’t-!”

BOOM

they’re interrupted by an explosion off to the side. no. no, this isn’t happening. raph steps out of the way and, to (y/n)’s horror, reveals the completely obliterated machinery that was supposed to bring them home.

“oh dear! it looks like my invention has spontaneously combusted! what in the world could have caused such an unfortunate event?”

(y/n)’s knows that tone of voice. the almost robotic way of speaking donnie uses only when he’s trying to lie. he did this on purpose.

“ahh, such a shame.”

leo doesn’t even try to hide his lack of concern, given his relaxed- almost pleased- expression, and the way he wraps an arm around (y/n)’s shoulders.

“how long will it take to fix that thing?”

“if we’re lucky, perhaps a year.”

those monsters.

“oh well. hey, don’t worry about it! you’ll love it here!”

liars.

“we’ve been getting ready for this day for weeks! we’ve got a room just for you, with all your favorite snacks, and a bunch of games and movies we think you’ll enjoy!”

psychopaths.

“don’t worry, (y/n)! we’ll take care of you. we promise.”

‘take me home’.

didn’t know how to end this-

[purple-plum-petals]

⊱ TWST Characters’ Reactions to Yuu Calling Their Dorm Leader “Hot” ⊰ || Multiple Character Scenario

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

      Character(s): Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Trey Clover, Cater Diamond, Jack Howl, Ruggie Bucchi, Jade Leech, Floyd Leech, Jamil Viper, Epel Felmier, Rook Hunt, Ortho Shroud, Lilia Vanrouge, Silver, Sebek Zigvolt (Twisted Wonderland)       Reader Type: Human, Ramshackle Prefect (Gender-Neutral Pronouns)       Warning(s): Nothing! I also always use the Japanese TWST Terms (Dorm Leader instead of Housewarden, Madols instead of Thaumarks, etc.) in my writing.       Genre: Scenario, Attempt at Comedy       Word Count: ~500 words       Scenario: They were just minding their own business when you asked suddenly, sighing out loud, “Man, why does your dorm leader have to be so hot?”       Author’s Note: This idea just popped into my mind and I thought it would be a nice, fun, short thing to write! I’d definitely be willing to write a more in-depth idea of this scenario, but right now I just wanted to post something since it’s been a while. I’ve been job-searching but, because I don’t have my transcripts or diploma at the moment, it’s been a bit difficult to get a job in my field. 😭

→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated!  ♡ ╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Pretends that he didn’t hear you. Nope, he was not dealing with that today – especially when all he’s trying to do is mind his own business. Kind of dies a bit on the inside when those words leave your mouth, though. All he can think is why would you even tell him about that in the first place? Did you expect him to help you or something?

Trey, Jack, Jamil

Has to make sure he heard you right. Are you sure you meant his dorm leader (even though most of the others aren’t the greatest boyfriend material either)? Oh, so he did hear you correctly… Well, that’s a bit strange. You certainly have interesting taste in men, they suppose. Nothing entirely wrong with that, but they don’t see the appeal.

Deuce, Cater, Jade, Floyd

Goes off on you for your horrible taste in men. Out of all the people at NRC that you could find attractive, it’s their dorm leader?? Doesn’t understand the appeal of them or your taste in men, and they make sure you know how much they disagree with your opinion about the attractiveness of their dorm leaders.

Ace, Ruggie, Epel

Starts laughing – like, laughing out loud as they hold their sides from the stitches your confession is giving them. How embarrassing for you, huh?  Man, your taste in men is absolutely abysmal if you somehow find their dorm leader of all people appealing. A part of them finds it kind of sad, but that feeling is completely overwritten by the amount of entertainment they get out of the situation.

Ace, Ruggie, Floyd

Found it a bit strange to be telling him that, but he‘s glad you find his brother attractive! He sees you as a dear friend of his, so he wouldn’t mind seeing you and his brother together! If anything, that would make him one of the happiest people on the planet!

Ortho

Agrees with you wholeheartedly! Their dorm leader is a very handsome young man with a lot of talent and future potential, so they agree – you certainly have great taste! Now, while they might not appreciate the words you chose to describe their dorm leader, they don’t disagree (cough Sebek cough) with your statement.

Rook, Lilia, Silver, Sebek

After their initial reaction(s), they also decide to tease you a bit. You just willingly gave them perfect blackmail material, you know. Now, why would you go and do that? …Because you trust them? Now that was a foolish reason. Since it’s you, though, they might keep this information to themselves.

Ace, Cater, Ruggie, Jade, Floyd

After their initial reaction(s), they decided to play wingman and try to get you to confess your feelings to their respective dorm leader. Whether it’s because they think you’ll legit be a good match together or if they’re doing it just for fun, you’ll never know. The help is much appreciated, though.

Trey, Cater, Ruggie, Jade, Floyd, Rook, Ortho, Lilia

[rafeinterlude]

𓂃ㅤ⭑. Exterior Gambles

Summery : basically the hunger games with outer banks characters !!

Warnings : none for now

mood board : ⛏️

a/n (1) this is my first time seriously writing a fanfic so be nice, tell me if there’s any grammar errors !!

Words : 567 ( I thought it would be more 😞 )

  CHAPTER 1 : 𓂃. ㅤ Reaping Day : District 12 (JJ MAYBANK)

   It was reaping day, July 4th. A day every 12 to 18-year-olds across the 12 districts dreads, until the day they wishfully turn 19 to finally be free from the horrible tradition that haunts every family. Then the freshly 19-year-old focuses on demanding, mind-numbing work in the districts. 

Like everyone else throughout District 12, Jj Maybank awoke in his ancient unsteady bed with paper-thin covers. Thoughts of what the day would bring clouded everyone's mind. It was quiet in a coal-filled district, normally on a day off he would hear loud children playing outside in sunshine hidden by gray trees and people selling in The Hob, Jj would be there seeing what was for sale so he could feed himself and his dad (if he’s feeling generous). But of course not today when the peacekeepers are on high alert getting ready for the annual reaping.

Jj had to get dressed up nicely with a warn-down suit from his cousin, it was mandatory to dress up for the ‘special’ event as the Capitol put it. Which was his least favorite part of the reaping (other than getting chosen but he didn’t want to think about that possibility, what would his dad do without him? he would sincerely die without his only son taking care of him even though he didn’t appreciate it but what was he supposed to do? it’s his father.)

After he bathed the most he had in months and put on his ‘appealing’ clothes he headed out with the rest of the district getting a sharp sting on the tip of his index finger which turned into a scar after it had been redone for 4 years. Then he went into the line of other 16-year-old boys most of whom he recognized from school and The Hob but noone he was willing to talk to and they were waiting just like the rest of the district to see what 2 people would be torn from their families and closest friends.

Jj looked up at the overdressed woman who walked across the stage and stood behind the microphone in between the 2 fish bowls with everyone’s names from 12-18. She had the weirdest accent he’d ever heard and had the most ridiculous makeup he’d ever seen (before her he had never even seen makeup before) caked onto her face which was especially horrible even more than last year.

"Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor," she called out to everyone anxiously watching her, teens wanting to know if they'll be alive next year and parents in anticipation to see if their children will be safe.

"Ladies first," the exotic-looking woman said then walking over to the female bowl and swooshing around with her hand over the hundreds of names of innocent children before picking one up taking it over to the microphone, and said,

“Eris Vapser,” The 13-year-old girl with grayish blue eyes that perfectly matched the sky and dark umber hair whom Jj had only seen her a handful of times before, as she gingerly walked towards the stage with everyone staring at her seeing her stood to the right of the announcer close to tears.

“And now for the boys!” she happily shrieked and seemingly snail-walked over to the male bowl of names, she picked one up and shouted..

“Jj Maybank!,’ she yelled across the district.

a/n : (2) i know that cannonitcly Pope is richer then John b but it would just make sense if he was in district 11, also i’ve watched all of obx and read/ watched all of the hunger games so that means… I will probably get so many things wrong so.. don’t expect everything to be perfect. ( also kinda based on Crimson Rivers on a03 by zeppazariel ) ALSO ALSO some direct quoting but that’s only for the reaping. Popes perspective will be next !!

tags : @haven247 @hewwokitti @redhead1180 @rafecameroninterlude @lustnluv @rafesbimbo & thank you for beta reading (i changed it up a bit) @rafecameronsgun

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Hypocrisy

Alright, I didn’t know what I wanted to write about for today’s episode of Only Friends and @colourme-feral suggested hypocrisy and @writerwithoutsound suggested Nick and or BostonNick, so let’s try to kill two birds with one stone. 

[I was floating the idea of hypocrisy anyway so this ended up being perfect]. 

OKAY SO, if there is one thing that is true about Only Friends it is that every character is judging or hates another character for a behavior they themselves have engaged in and have no problems with.

Sure, Jan.

Which is just such a human trait, “my behavior was justified, but their behavior was not” type of bullshit that we do because we are only ever capable of understanding to the fullest extent our own thoughts and feelings and motivations, and aren’t always capable of extending the same critical thought to others. 

What’s fun about Only Friends is that in order to discuss the hypocrisy that existed in Episode 9, we have to understand that almost none of the hypocritical behavior is new. Everyone has been falling in to the same patterns of the people they judge the harshest.

So, what hypocrisies did we see today? 

Top

Top wants Mew back, Top claims to care about Mew’s feelings, and Top spends the entire episode consistently, continuously, and pointedly ignoring Mew’s established boundaries by appealing to Mew’s moms. After having his own relationship ruined by a recording, Top takes the initiative to get back at Sand and at Ray by filming them making out, as evidence for Mew. And he is fully prepared to use it, to try to show Mew that Ray is cheating on him just like Top did. But he pulls himself back at the last minute, why? Because he knows that Mew has, until their breakup, always considered himself as morally superior, and a strong sense of morality is an attractive feature for Mew.

It is, in my mind, part of why Mew has never been romantically interested in Ray, because Ray engages in almost every single behavior that Mew looks down on as morally reprehensible. By choosing not to share the video, Top is playing to the moral high ground, but he still took the video in the first place, and you know he is holding on to it in case he needs it later, and you know Top had intended to use the video, and had tried on several occasions to show Mew. It was only at the last second that he decided to change tactics. And it worked in his favor, but his actions are still entirely hypocritical because he says he is doing all of this because he cares about Mew’s feelings, when in actuality he doesn’t care about Mew’s feelings, he cares about manipulating Mew’s feelings. 

Sand

We have established time and time again that Sand hates Top, and Top similarly has no love for Sand. We have also heard repeatedly that the reason for this is because Top stole Sand’s ex. I am hoping we get some sort of flash back to what he means by that next episode. But either way there is an implication here that Boeing either cheated on Sand or that Top was making moves on Boeing while he was with Sand, they broke up, and then Boeing started dating Top. Either way, Sand has exhibited zero amount of understand or willingness to move on or move past Top’s transgressions. Except, this episode we see Sand actively be made aware of the fact that Ray is lying to Mew about the fact that he and Sand are still fucking, acknowledges that he is being used as a secret lover for Ray, and deciding to have sex with Ray anyway, therefore helping Ray cheat on Mew, the very thing that Mew was initially spiraling over with Top.

Sand is the one that stole the audio recording and started the distribution train that led to the downfall of Top and Mew’s relationship, so that he could ruin Top’s relationship because Top had ruined his and Boeing’s. I do think Sand did release the audio file to Ray in some capacity to get Ray to go to Mew, either it was going to ruin Mew and Ray’s relationship leaving Ray open for him, or it would bring Mew and Ray together, and allow Sand to move on from his compulsive need to yield to Ray. (Though Sand is, like many of the others, a contradictory character who keeps saying that he won’t wait for Ray, and waits for him anyway; or says he doesn’t want Ray to come meet him, but then they end up fucking when Ray does inevitably show up). 

oh honey, we know.

And like I said in a post the other day, except for the brief moment in Episode 1 where Mew apologizes to Sand on Ray’s behalf when Ray is drunk and trying to fight Sand in the bathroom, Mew and Sand have not said a single word to each other since, yet they keep radically impacting each other’s lives, mostly by nature of playing the world’s largest and most convoluted game of ping pong with a one Ray Pakorn.  

I would like to just acknowledge the masterful way that Jojo and co have handled this show, and the maturing of their characters. We have spent eight episodes watching these boys do everything under the sun to protect what they want, besides you know…talking to each other about it like reasonable adults. But that is expressly because they aren’t reasonable adults. They are barely even adults. Most of them are just learning how to exist in the world as people, how to navigate relationships, how to be mature; and those characters like Sand who have had no choice but to get independent and self sufficient quickly can appear mature compared to everyone else, or may consider themselves more mature than others around them, which I for one think Sand absolutely does think he is more mature than the other people he knows. But he is the same age as the rest of them, he is just as susceptible to being a petty little asshole, to lying, to cheating, to manipulating to get what he wants when talking openly and honestly would have saved him a whole lot of time and heartache. 

Nick 

oh how the camera loves Mark Pakin

Honestly, I am trying to think about whether or not Nick has been hypocritical at all, and I don’t think he was in this episode. I think after his conversation with Boston at the Halloween party he has admitted defeat and was trying to move on. He tried making out with Sand to see how it felt, they both realized they were very much only friends. He tried making out with Daddy Dan and it went fine. But Nick saw Boston at the bar, and decided it was time to finish this once and for all, so he went to go apologize to Boston, sincerely, and to tell him, honestly, what his feelings were. Then he left and went back to his date with Dan without once looking back behind him to see if Boston was following. Good job, Nick, if I am remembering all events of Episode 9 correctly, you made it out the other end of this episode without being a hypocrite!

Boston

It cannot be denied that in past episodes, Boston has been extremely hypocritical. He broke it off with Nick because Nick recorded Boston and Top having sex. You know, something Boston thought (correctly) was an egregious violation of privacy. Yet fails to see how him recording Ray and Mew was doing precisely the same thing. 

However….you know, I don’t think Boston was much of a hypocrite this episode either. I think as a character, similarly to Sand, he is very contradictory. Boston has been saying for a long time that his heart is frozen at sub zero temperatures, he doesn’t want a relationship, he has never loved Nick, etc. etc, and yet we are beginning to see the cracks in that. Boston doesn’t take pictures of himself, yet he and Nick both have selfies of both of them together. Boston tries to maintain some sort of morals, trying to convince his friends younger brother not to sleep with him, but Atom keeps pushing. Boston spends this episode minding his own goddamn business for what appears to be the first time in his entire life. As a result, he gets Nick, interrupting his bathroom hook up to give a truly mature, and expert apology about the ways he has hurt Boston, and how he feels about Boston. Boston says he doesn’t like drama, but he leaves his hook up the second his hook up says Nick is being dramatic. 

As an aside, I absolutely loved every single one of Boston’s reactions to everything Nick was saying about him. Because Boston for the last x period of time, since the reveal that Boston and Top fucked while Top was dating Mew, Boston has literally been getting his ass beat repeatedly, and has been explicitly told that he was not welcome in the events the rest of the friend group are in. He’s always given off a kind of lone wolf vibe to me, but I don’t think he actually is one, and I think he is actually starting to feel the impacts of his decisions. As @shortpplfedup says “when Boston starts realizing that not everybody thinks like him, he’ll be okay.” 

Anyway, good job Boston and Nick for managing not to commit egregious acts of moral failure this episode. So proud of you!

Cheum 

Okay, listen. Jojo is content in showing that The Lesbians are a) capable of doing the thing all these boys need to learn and communicating openly and honestly about their issues in order to preserve their relationship and b) are simultaneously capable of being messy bitches. I love Jojo for this. Cheum this episode, as with every episode, continues her attack on Ray, “the evil spirit left you already, huh?” and sure there is an argument here that she is speaking generally. But I am holding fast to the read that she is talking about Ray, because at no point before this has she blamed Mew for his own behavior. She spends all this time praising Top, and then finishes by saying “but what he did was damn evil. It’s too much to forgive. I understand that.” 

Ma’am. 

My dear. 

Darling. 

Were you not the one desperately trying to get Top and Mew back together? Were you not the one ignoring that very knowledge in order to try to get Mew to forgive Top? Were you not the one that gave Top the invitation in the desperate hope that these two would get back together? Are you really only now seeing what Mew was so upset about, or have you understood the entire time, and were just okay with potentially making Mew uncomfortable for the sake of preserving the relationship you want your friend to have? These are rhetorical questions, I know the answer. 

Mew

Mew has, in my opinion at least, not been the most hypocritical person out there, but he certainly has been one of, if not the most judgemental people out there. In this episode, though, we get a kind of hypocrisy from Mew that doesn’t actually bother me, or really make me roll my eyes because it is so effectively utilized, and it all has to do with Mew’s relationship to Ray. 

Because Mew went scorched earth on Top when he found out Top cheated. He felt hurt, he felt betrayed, he spiraled into a wave of insecurity so hard he adopted Ray’s aesthetic and personality. He started partying, he started drinking, he tried to change every part of himself. And he was fucking pissed. He wouldn’t talk to Top, he flaunted Ray around because he knew it would piss Top off, he got escalated on multiple occasions, and fought Boston cause he was so upset about being cheated on. 

And then Ray goes and does the very same thing that Top did. On multiple occasions. He kisses Sand at the Halloween party, he makes out with Sand at school, he lives in the middle of the night, drives two hours out of his way, just so he can meet up with Sand, interrupts A GAY BOY CUDDLE (it is the sin of all sins to break up a gay boy cuddle) and then has sex with Sand all while he is still dating Mew. 

You can imagine after Episode 8, how my brain was spinning thinking about Mew finding out that Ray cheated on him at the party, getting super pissed, and having a blow out fight that ended in a break up. So you can imagine my (very pleasant and happy) surprise at Mew and Ray at the end of Episode 9 just talking it through. I say Mew’s hypocrisy this episode is something I really liked because it felt like such a natural and organic demonstration of where Mew and Ray’s feelings for each other truly lie. Mew is using Ray to get back at Top. Ray knows Mew is using him to get back at Top. They have a calm conversation and an amicable break up, and Mew doesn’t seem at all upset that Ray cheated on him. Because Mew does not care about Ray like that. 

I do think Mew truly loves Ray, as a friend. I do think that Mew certainly has some compassion fatigue from navigating Ray’s substance use issues for multiple years, at a very young age, but it seems very clear to me in the way that friend group interacts with Ray that the only reason Ray has any friends at all is because Mew keeps him in his life. 

Ray

Ohhhhh Ray. Ray, Ray, Ray I love you dude, but Jesus Fucking Christ. Here you are once again, proving my point. Ray, I don’t know if you are *the* biggest hypocrite of the evening, but you are certainly in the running. I know you’re hurting, but damn dude you’re self-sabotaging. Ray has spent so much of his time in this show simping for Mew, wanting to be with Mew, saying that he loves and cares for Mew. And the second that he is able to shoot his shot and have Mew even remotely entertain the idea of them being a couple, he shifts all of his attention to Sand. 

Which, to be clear, Ray being interested in Sand is not the hypocritical part of all of this. Because, despite the fact that Ray was being kind of a massive piece of shit when he said it to Sand, he’s not wrong that he is allowed to like as many people as he wants. BUT Ray fucking hates Top, for a number of reasons, primarily because he is dating Mew and therefore getting in the way of Ray being able to do the same. 

But also because Ray jumps in to play hero, Ray tells Mew repeatedly that Ray has been nothing but good to Mew, and that Mew has been nothing but good to Ray. And, then the second that Ray has everything he thinks he wants, he turns around and pulls exactly the same bullshit that Top did. Ray cheats on Mew, multiple times depending on what Mew’s definition of cheating would be. Whereas Top was able to wait to have sex with Mew, Ray after however many denials of sex erupts on Mew, he gets upset about it, and Mew calls him on his bullshit a bit, but the fact remains that as much as Ray says he cares about Mew, he isn’t showing it when push comes to shove. 

I want to wrap this post up by saying that I think Jojo, Ninew, Den, and the others have done a truly remarkable job navigating the mentality of 21 year old boys. I love that after two months of watching these kids constantly come up with the most convoluted shit to hold on to the things they want, including recording intercourse, stealing said recording of intercourse, low-key stalking someone, and timing a playlist to incorporate the sounds of said recorded intercourse, they have finally finally started thinking “hmmm…what if we just…talked about it?” All our boys started showing some impressive blossoms of maturity this episode and I cannot wait for their inevitable backslide because they are- and I cannot stress this enough -all suffering from a chronic illness called Being In Your Early 20s.

[nerdraging4point0]

November Moon

CW: 18+, oral sex male receiving, language, dirty talk, oral sex female receiving, PIV, protected sex. Exhibitionism, partner sharing.

Authors note: @tearfallpixie and I had .... thoughts.....conversations. It wasn't what I had in mind but as I wrote it, something took on a mind of its own. She was kind enough to offer one of her OC characters to the story. I have been in a rut for a few weeks now, so this is the first thing that has actually reached the finished stages. Enjoy

______________________

 Rick came out of the kitchen a large bowl in each hand filled to the brim with popcorn. He was nothing if not predictable. He set the bowls down on his new extra-large coffee table-a rustic French farmhouse type made of birch wood that looked weathered-it wasn’t his usual style, but he picked it up because one it fit the length he wanted and two he liked the way she looked at it. They hadn’t been together long before Rick had asked Anya to move in with him, he had never been so sure of something in his life.

Horror, the cute pup he had adopted just the year before jumped onto the couch, his tail thumping on the fabric tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. There was a full table of drinks and snacks that Rick and Anya picked up from the store earlier and a couple bags of burgers and fries with milkshakes included from Five Guys. If Rick knew his friend it would be to order Five Guys for dinner, especially when he was about to propose something that could be considered completely insane.

Just a few weeks ago he’d come home from a long tour, finally set to be home for a full eight months, ready for some much-needed rest and relaxation. Yeah right. Rick knew better than to have any kind of relaxation, after he’d properly welcomed himself home to Anya and their pup, he’d immediately started working on his film projects. She had been talking to him from the couch in his office, slumped over his laptop clicking away at videos as he edited them, giving her an occasional ‘uh huh’ ‘really’ or even a ‘hmm’ all things to make it seem like he heard her.

"You know what would be hot?"

"Hmm?" The guitarist hummed quietly, not lifting his eyes from his computer.

"If we had a foursome with Vinny and Dana."

"Wait what?!" Rick exclaimed, turning in his chair to face her. After a long period of silence, he’d waited for her to say more but when she didn’t, he had to process what she’d said. His brain took the suggestion, fumbled it around amongst the other thoughts currently occupying its space, until figuratively tossing everything from its desk inside his head to focus on the idea she proposed.  

"What? Vinny and Dana are hot as fuck. And don't think I don't know you and Vin have fooled around before. It's so obvious." Rick sputtered as he processed her words. Seeing her raise an eyebrow at him, realizing his darkest secret had been found out. He sat back further in his chair eyes darting to the ceiling as he thought the idea through.

“Oh my GOD!” She squealed pulling herself to the edge of her seat on the couch “I was only joking; I wanted your attention you perv!” They had put the idea aside for a while talking again about idle things this time with Rick’s attention on her. But he’d be lying if his mind was drifting back to the earlier topic.

He couldn’t deny that the thought of seeing his best friend and girl get it on wasn't intriguing. Not only that, but he found Vins girl appealing. Anya and Dana were like night and day. Dana was shorter in stature, standing only at 5’2 long sandy brown hair, light skin tone, and eyes that he couldn’t determine were either green or blue. He imagined how her soft curves might feel under his hands, if she’d groan at his touch like Anya did or whine. Anastasia was 5’6 dark brown hair just past her shoulders, deep green eyes and a full sleeve of white roses on her right arm, the spaces between the leaves blacked out. She was athletically built, the muscles from her years of sports softened under her skin leaving her with a relaxed toned look.

Anya was his spitfire spastic girl, she could talk for hours if the subject intrigued her, and there were a lot of subjects like that. She was never not at a loss for words on any given subject, always wanting to learn and express herself. Outsiders might think they were arguing with how they spoke to each other during their debates, but it was all understood, they were communicating on a different level.

While on tour Vin and Rick had stayed up later than the rest of the band and crew, just talking about their girls back home. The girls had gotten close, so closely bonded they weren’t above holding hands and kissing each other on the lips occasionally. They had gotten so deep in conversation that night Vin started to talk about his sex life with Dana, while he never discussed much with anyone else in the band and crew, he and Rick had a mutual understanding to share everything with one another.

Rick had expected Dana to be shy and innocent, inexperienced, somehow the thought of having to break her and teach her a lesson made his sex throb with anticipation. But when he heard how dark she could be for Vin he was surprised. The way Vin described her she was mouthy, sassy even. Rick liked that. The idea that he could still break her gave him some satisfaction.

The couple walked through the door of Rick’s house, greeted eagerly by Horror, Dana seemed to take great interest in petting the pup’s belly while Vin made a quick bee line for the food on the table. Anya caught her friend in a hug, bringing her in by the waist to the couch. Dana had chosen a simple pair of leggings and hoodie to wear tonight. Although she matched in all black with her boyfriend, Rick couldn’t help but feel cheated, what could she possibly be hiding under there?

He'd never seen Dana wear anything outside of leggings, sweatpants, hoodies, and the occasional pair of jeans. Anya said it was something about being self-conscious around a lot of people. What could she have to be self-conscious about? He’d seen some of the photos on Vin’s phone. Not on purpose, anything that had to do with Dana and Vin was all found out by accident. He either happened to be looking that way just at the right time or Vin was scrolling through his phone passing by a saved photo of her pausing only for a minute before continuing through his gallery. Rick just always acted like he didn’t see it.

Vin didn’t know it but a few nights after that conversation Rick had gotten up in the middle of the night making his way to the bathroom for a late-night piss, on his way back to his bunk he could hear the private conversation between Vin and Dana. Vin seemed to think everyone was asleep and opted for no headphones, in whatever way, to the universe or deity of some kind he thanked him for the absentminded mistake.

She was moaning on the other end, giving a sexy giggle, maybe in response to Vin’s reaction.

“Sugar, come on don’t tease me.” He whined, his voice climbing higher than a whisper.

“What are you gonna do? Make me?”

Rick had to suppress the growl in his throat. Oh, he’d make her alright. Miles away or not, he’d have her follow his every direction without hesitation.

They watched a movie together, eating and making small talk. But it seemed that no matter how much he tried to bring up the subject he just couldn’t get the words to come out of his mouth. I guess it was a good thing his girlfriend was better at breaking the ice than he was. He wasn’t sure what she’d said, or how she had said it, but when Rick looked over in the dark living room toward the girls, they were practically in each other’s laps hands wrapping around each other, lips locked. He tapped his friend��s thigh unable to tear away from the scene in front of him, the sudden thud of Vin’s phone on the floor was confirmation he was seeing the same thing.

It wasn’t much to convince them to take everything back to Rick’s room. He’d lead them down the hall and into the master bedroom tearing Anya’s top and bra from her body the minute she was inside their door. He held Anya against his chest, her breasts in each of his hands, kneading the flesh and pulling at her nipples while he kissed the exposed skin of her neck, cheek and shoulder. He heard a sound that made his eyes fly open and search for the source.

Across the room Vin had his girl in his arms teeth sinking into the flesh at her neck, Dana’s mouth dropped open and her nails digging into Vin’s shoulder, a look of pure ecstasy on her face. Rick drank in the sight looking her over, her pale skin was completely exposed her hoodie, shirt, and bra had been discarded and he could see her breasts pressed into Vin’s chest.

God damn she was beautiful.

“Fuck, Vin. That’s what you’ve been hiding from us?” It had been a comment Rick wanted to utter more times than one after seeing photos of her but knew better than to do it. Now he had no reason not to.

Dana’s cheeks went pink when her eyes opened landing on Rick’s from across the room. So sweet. She was still so shy. Rick wanted to taste her, he wanted to make her come first. The way Vin was playing with her, it was driving Rick insane. Like a kid on the playground who wanted his turn with the new toy, he seemed to be losing his patience.

“Think Vin would let me suck his cock?” Anya’s breathy voice was at Rick’s ear, her soft moans between words making his cock twitch.

“I don’t know,” he drawled “Why don’t you go over there and find out.”

Anya crossed the floor quickly, pulling herself between Vin and Dana, giving Dana a soft kiss on the lips before turning to face Vin. Her eyes focused on him as she dropped to her knees fingers already working the button of his cargo pants.

Dana stepped back, giving her friend room, her arms crossing over her chest as she pulled her thumb nail between her teeth. She was distracted, not paying any attention to Rick as he crossed the room coming up slowly behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist letting his chin rest on her shoulder as he pulled her into him his cock sliding between the cheeks of her ass. She tightened in his grip going stiff.

“Shhh.” He whispered letting his lips trail soft kisses from her shoulder to the bend of her neck. “Since he’s a little occupied. Let me take care of you.”

He spun her in his arms making her face him he squatted down grabbing her thighs and hoisting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. Rick climbed onto the bed, letting her back fall softly into the black duvet. He kept his eyes on hers, taking in the beautiful glassy green color as he watched her pupils dilate and shrink with every move of his hands over her body.

“Would you let me eat you? I’m sure Vin does it a lot.” Ricks fingers were already teasing the hem of her leggings, waiting for the approval before tearing them down her thighs. He watched as she covered her body with her arms, hands making a tent over her mouth and nose while her cheeks turned that adorable pink color.

“Why do you think I call her sugar?” Vin teased moaning when Anya giggled, his cock still down her throat.

“You have to say yes.” Rick gave her an encouraging look, or maybe he was pleading, he wasn’t really sure what expression his face was making at this point. Whatever he’d done made her nod her head slowly, he understood the hesitation and although he wanted to tear her clothes off and bury himself between her thighs, he felt he should treat her a little more delicately. Pulling the clothes from her body he looked back up to see she had completely covered her face. He crawled up her body taking her wrists in his hands as he pulled her away to look in her eyes.

“No need to hide. I’ve seen it all already and trust me, you are beautiful.” Her face went completely red but as Rick made his way down her torso, she didn’t bring her hands up to hide again. Opening her thighs she parted them easily for him, letting him find his way between them as he licked a stripe between her folds the intoxicating taste of her burst through his mouth, he groaned wanting more but having to hold himself back from devouring her. “I see why he calls you sugar, you do taste sweet.”

Fingers pressing her open he lapped at her clit listening to the pleased sounds she made as he found the spot, she liked the most. Her hips rocked into his face, and he grabbed her thighs in order to brace himself for the moment she came on his tongue. She moaned, the dirty words falling out of her mouth all that Ricks’ ears hoped they would be.

Shuffling, the tear of a foil packet, a sudden keen from Anya and the sound of skin on skin meant Vin had taken it upon himself to move his moment along. They hadn’t discussed how it would all make them feel, but then again, Vin didn’t have much emotion when he was horny. Rick liked to think things through even now, he could feel the pang in his chest that someone else had his girl, but the knowledge that she was always his softened the blow.

Dana’s hands tangled into Ricks hair desperate to pull him off her as her body started to shake and seize from her orgasm. He continued to hold her clit between his lips, letting his tongue flick along the edge as she spasmed against his face. When he opened his eyes and looked up at her, she was flat against the bed panting, her breasts rising and falling with her deep breathing. Some of the muscles in her thighs and arms were shaking from what he’d just done to her. The pride in swelling in his chest.

He couldn’t wait any longer.

“Vin.” He looked to his friend who had Anya bent over the side of the bed taking her from behind. Vin’s green eyes looked up from under his lashes, the red streaks falling over his face. “Toss me one.”

The drummer groaned as he pulled out of Anya, she whined at the loss of him, Vin spinning around to slap her ass before digging through the drawer of the nightstand. He tossed the purple foil to Rick, catching it mid air he ripped it open sliding it down his length before bracing himself at her entrance. He wanted to go easy, maybe take his time, but if Vin finished soon, it would just be awkward for the whole room.

He bottomed out watching as she folded herself up arm latching around Ricks neck. He moved his hips immediately filling her up quickly and starting a pace that was sure to give her another orgasm. She moaned, keened and whined in his ear. The sounds making his brain fill with fog. She fits him so easily, her walls parting for him only to tighten around as he withdraws. She is just as soft as he imagined she’d be, fingers tracing the scars of her stretched skin, stripes that were no doubt earned and should be appreciated.

Under his touch she trembles, but then relaxes as he strokes her back, he can feel her shake every time he thrusts deep inside her. She is close and he knows it. The familiar shrieks from Anya tell Rick she’s enjoying herself. He was sure he’d have time to take Anya too, his ego telling him he had the stamina for it all. But as reality sank in it was evident, he wouldn’t. He felt in his lower belly that he was close, she was clenching harder around him, feeling her walls coat him with her slick his own body trembling.

“Fuck Rick.” She moaned in his ear as her arms clutched to him tight the orgasm breaking her. He couldn’t hold out anymore. Getting a hard grip on her body he thrust into her several more times before he moaned her name as he came.

The chorus of the four of them breathing heavily, smacking their lips from their mouths running dry was all the room could hear. The heady smell of musk and body fluid assaulting their sense of smell. Vin withdrew from Anya pulling the condom off quick and discarding it. Anya didn’t seem to notice him either walking around the bed to her drawers looking for underwear and something to wear.

Rick pulled out of Dana quickly making his way off the bed and tossing the condom away. He pushed the windows open behind his bed letting the cool night air waft the smell from the room. Anya’s warm hands wrapped around his waist, holding one of his t shirts and clean boxers in them. He took the clothes from her grip, bringing one of her hands to his lips before placing a chaste kiss on the back.

He slipped the clothes on seeing Vin help Dana into his sweatshirt, he was still naked, but after making sure his girl was dressed, they cuddled under the blankets.

“I told them they can sleep here tonight.” Anya stood up on her tiptoes to give Rick a kiss on his cheek.

“And where will we sleep?”

“In the bed silly. Where else?” she giggled crawling into the bed and settling next to her friend. Rick was too physically tired to care who slept in what bed. While the idea of a foursome wasn’t exactly what he’d imagined, it wasn’t a waste of time either. Now that the ice had been broken maybe there was just a little room to have more.

She woke to the faint sound of moaning.

The chill in the room made her shiver under the sweatshirt Vin had given her last night, she rolled into him seeking the warmth of his body. The window he’d opened was left that way all night, the late November air making the room go chill. Settling into Vin’s chest he was fast asleep, his arms not even moving to hold her, shivering as she pulled the blankets up over her nose. She tried hard to go back to sleep, squeezing her eyes shut as if that would force them to stay closed and bring sleep on faster.

Another soft moan carried through the room, and she realized that it wasn’t the sounds of her dreams from last night anymore. Turning slowly in the bed she saw Rick and Anya over her shoulder. Rick had Anya’s back pressed firmly into his chest, his hips rocking into her from behind, one ink clad hand wrapped around her waist disappearing between her thighs his fingers moving in and out of her sex with slow strokes. Anya had her head tipped back, hands wrapped around Rick’s head as he kissed into the bend of her neck, eyes were held shut pulling her lip between her teeth to suppress more of her moans. Rick’s grey eyes met hers from across the bed, they held the stare for only a few seconds before he gave her a wink and a seductive smirk. Pressing his lips once again to the neck of his girl. She turned back into Vin, not shy about what she saw, but disappointed that her boyfriend wasn’t awake to join in the fun.

She snuggled into Vin’s chest more drinking in the smell of his cologne, the fragrance still potent even though he’d applied it yesterday morning. She was close enough to hear his heart beating in his chest, the steady rhythm drowning out the sound of the couple next to her. Vin shifted in the bed allowing her to sink deeper into his bare chest.

“You to huh?” his gravely morning voice made heat pool into the space between her thighs. She was very pleased with herself that all she was wearing was his sweatshirt and panties from the night before. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth before she nodded her head. “Turn around then.”

She rolled to her other side making sure her ass rolled over him in a suggestive way. He groaned when she rolled over his cock, realizing quickly that he hadn’t dressed himself after their games last night. He kept his eyes closed, hand taking her hip and pulling her close to him. She glanced over at Rick and Anya, he seemed to have lost patience with only his fingers. Anya was pressed firmly on her belly into the bed one of Ricks’ hands tangled in her hair holding her head up off the mattress, his other had both her wrists clasped firmly into her lower back. Rocking his hips into her from behind, his black hair was already falling in his face lips parted breathing getting heavy. The sight turned her on to watch and when Vin started to rock his hips into her from behind slowly grinding himself against her ass, she let out a whimper Anya’s eyes only opening a little to look her friends way before giving her a satisfied smile.

Suddenly the chill from earlier was gone, the room filling up with a sudden heat she couldn’t explain. She pushed the blankets down and off her with her feet trying to cool her already sweaty skin. Vin’s fingernails were digging into the flesh of her thigh as he pulled her closer to him, continuing to grind against her. She was soaking through her panties as Vin would move her the friction of the material clothing her sex gave just enough friction to stimulate, but not enough that she’d be able to come. She wanted more. He was hard the feel of him pressing into her cheeks erotic the length not giving from the pressure of her on him.

He suddenly stopped fingers frantically trying to find the edge of her panties to bring them down her legs. She rolled onto her back grabbing the sides and pulling them down to toss the wet garment somewhere. Vin rolled onto his back motioning for her to come to him, she straddled his lap her knee barely coming to rest next to his hip before he pulled her down into a needy kiss. Her mouth distracted he lined up, pushing himself between her folds before bottoming out with no hesitation. She squealed into the kiss letting his tongue push past the barrier and into her mouth. He already had a grip on the sides of her hips rocking her over his length pulling her up before bringing her back down. They had barely started, and she was already about to burst.

Pulling herself out of his mouth she sat up grasping his thigh and bracing herself on the soft of his abdomen before she rocked herself back and forth, letting him fill her completely. While she rolled her head back she let her eyes wander over to their friends. Anya had her lip in her mouth teeth bearing down into the skin it was turning white, her forehead was sticky with sweat and her eyes were shut tight. Rick’s grey orbs looking directly at Dana. He had a feral look in his eye and it only made the coil in her belly tighten, watching him fuck Anya with sharp snaps of his hips was a show. She looked down at Vin who beneath her was arching his back Adams apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed before letting his mouth fall open again with his heavy breathing. She was so close, her rhythm stalling, feeling like she couldn’t continue. He sat up with her, head placed into her chest, he let his hands roam up the sweatshirt she was wearing fingers running along her spine and over her skin.

“Gonna come for me, sugar?” She wrapped her arms around his neck letting her fingers lace through his messy curls. Her hips moved faster as he spoke, driving herself to a quick release, beyond speech she only nodded her head. She looked over to Rick whose own hips started to falter, his eyes still on her, she threw her head back watching as he stilled in his movements spilling into Anya with a loud groan. It put Dana over the edge, clenching hard around Vin’s cock she squeezed his hair as her body shook with her orgasm. He wasn’t far behind her, taking her hips in his hands and slamming her down on him one more time before she could feel the warmth of his release inside her.

They fell back on the bed, her ear pressed against his chest to hear his heart thudding loudly. As they caught their breath, she heard the couple next to them whispering softly to one another, followed by a comfortable silence. The serenity of the moment lost when Vin cried out to the room,

"I'm hungry."

[oddlittlestories]

So one of the things about TUA that I find so interesting is how each of the characters reacts to the abuse of Hargreeves in a different way. It’s very close to an exploration of the full spectrum of reactions. (Season 1 in particular is a kind of study of this but I’m not going to go into Leonard here. I’m also not going to go into Lila or the abusive relationship employment of the Commission, but I have thought about those things as well.)

Edit: Kind of long so more under the cut. Slipped and marked it mature by accident >.<

Luther

Luther isn’t the leader, like he thinks. He’s the enforcer. And he’s the enforcer because he is so convinced that the failure is with him, with them, and not their father. When he can no longer follow his father’s will in s2, he finds a new powerful man to enforce for—in a very literal way.

Luther, especially in s1-2, is a difficult character to like. He’s an ass, he’s always convinced he’s right, and he’s always wheedling to be heard, to be obeyed, to be listened to. And he is the cause of much of his siblings’ suffering.

It’s quite sad from another angle, though. He seeks out another powerful man in s2 because he very much does not have any internalized framework of his own—of right and wrong, or even really of likes and dislikes.

Once he sets that need for control down, he’s mostly just this goofy, slouchy guy. He doesn’t know what’s happening, going to happen, or what’s right. He just takes things as they come.

As a comparison to a character many of us find much more appealing, Dean Winchester is also an enforcer. The difference is, one of John’s directives is to protect Sammy, and his own reaction is in that same direction, like many abused kids. Protect your sibling. Which creates this deeply codependent dynamic that we see throughout the show. (They also have a bit of golden child / scapegoat going on, which we’ll come back around to.)

Ben

The one who dies. I’m not going to say too much about this beyond sometimes that, too, is a consequence of abuse.

Allison

The one who perpetuates the cycle. I really like this because I don’t fully like the adage ‘hurt people hurt people.’ Hargreeves is an abuser because he feels justified in his abuse.

Allison does it because she didn’t grow up with any other skills, and because it feels safe. Her first acts of abuse are with her daughter, because she is a frustrated and overwhelmed parent with no other skills to manage her own emotions. But she does well in therapy, and we see her leveraging those skills to push back against ingrained family dynamics.

But whenever she is lost and afraid in the world, she resorts to abuse to get what she wants. And more and more through the story, we see her abandoning compassion and emotional regulation in favor of taking her feelings out on others. Because she decides it’s justified.

Five

The runaway. Five rebels to escape the abuse, and gets re-traumatized out in the world. But he also steals his autonomy back and crafts his own completely-formed identity. Look. That’s not to say that the dude doesn’t have issues in spades. But he can talk to Hargreeves, interact with him at any stage in the game, and not have it shake his identity to the core. Both the trauma that he chooses and his own choice for responsibility and autonomy determines who Five becomes.

Diego

There’s a sequence from House, MD that I feel like sums up Diego’s reaction to the abuse quite nicely. House is late to his dad’s funeral and he explains to Wilson how punishing his (abusive) father was about punctuality. He explains that he is deliberately careless around time because he didn’t want to make his father’s issues HIS issues. And Wilson, incredulous, shoots back with, “Thereby MAKING it your issue!”

Yeah. That’s Diego. He defines himself in opposition to Hargreeves. And he even says so explicitly. He’s all about fighting crime, “the right way.” But he defines himself so in opposition to authority (and to people in general) that he gets kicked out of the police force and burns his first romantic relationship to ashes. He just can’t stop fighting.

Klaus

The addict. Addiction is a common response to abuse. And Klaus is a full-blown addict. A thief, willing to do anything and everything for his next score. He’ll injure himself, terrorize others, go dumpster diving, steal, defraud. Really there are no limits to what he’ll do. And yet we always feel he’s a sunshiney sweetheart right from the start. Even so, the “anything to score to escape my demons” is a keen literalization of the addiction response to abuse.

Viktor

The scapegoat

“Everything is always your fault.” This is the one who gets blamed for the family’s problems, who gets punished and punished and ignored. This is the one who is always in the wrong. And Viktor is such a great character in season 1 & 2 for this because he’s both reactions to that. He is the explosive anger, the rage and indignity. And he’s the one broken by any means necessary, heaped with family blame, with no sense of what he wants or who he is. And also, in s1, exceptionally vulnerable to an abuser masquerading as everything he ever wanted.

I just. It’s so multifaceted. It’s such a good exploration of abuse and this is only one sliver of that. TUA has its flaws, and I thought s3 was such a mixed bag, but this is one piece they just NAILED.

[jerzwriter]

Twenty-Five

I re-read chapter one of Wake the Dead and couldn't get Troy and Zoe's friendship out of my mind. In canon, we see them together for the first time when Zoe (MC) returns from her first day out with the Scouts. I wondered what that morning looked like for them, and this is what I came up with.

Book: Wake the Dead Characters: Troy Hassan, Zoe Rivera (F!MC) Words: 1,300 Rating: Teen Summary: It's Zoe's twenty-fifth birthday, and she's finally going to see the world beyond the confines of The Tower. She's been waiting all her life for this change, but Troy feels a little different. A/N: @choicesjanuary2024 Day 10 - Change

Zoe shifted under her covers, groaning with discontent at the thought of getting out of bed. Her mattress could be considered an antique, and she never understood how it managed to be thin and lumpy at the same time. Her blanket was no more than scraps of wool stitched together, itchy against her bare skin when she stretched. Still, within the stark, concrete walls of The Tower, this was as much comfort as she could expect, and the thought of lingering there all day had its appeal. She mulled the idea of playing sick in her mind; surely one of her counterparts could rid the colony of mice and vermin for the day, but then her eyes went wide.

With renewed energy, she shot up and jumped from the top bunk. Goosebumps formed on top of goosebumps when her bare feet hit the frigid slate floor. Just as well, she thought, now she was fully awake, and that’s exactly what she wanted to be. She had waited a lifetime for this day, and now that it was here, she didn’t want to miss a thing. She swung the closet door open; her clothing options were slim, but she was grateful for what she had. After slipping into an old, faded Henley and her favorite pair of worn jeans, she brushed her chestnut brown locks, smiling at her reflection in the dingy mirror. 

“Happy Birthday,” she winked, then bounded out the door with an extra bounce in her step. She was almost at the commissary when she heard a slow whistle and a familiar voice coming from behind.

“Well, look at you! If it isn’t the birthday princess herself!” Troy smiled.

Troy Hassan was her best friend for as long as she could remember, and that smile was as much of an old friend as he was. She couldn’t express how much she had come to rely upon it. After all, sunlight wasn’t all that common within the confines of The Tower, but with Troy at her side, she always had her own personal supply.

“It’s me!” She beamed. “A quarter-century old, and I finally get to see what the world looks like outside this monolith!”

“Hey, keep your voice down,” he cautioned. “The powers that be are awfully protective of this monolith.”

“I know,” she replied, throwing a protein bar on her metal tray. “And it’s not that I’m not grateful, but there is a big world out there, and after being stuck inside these walls for the last nineteen years, I can’t wait to see it.”

He couldn’t recall the last time he had seen her this happy, so Troy did his best to keep the fear welling in his gut...in his heart... from making an appearance on his face. He had cautioned her about the dangers in the outside world plenty of times before, and today, he wouldn’t be the one to extinguish her flame. He turned his attention to the paltry food on her tray.

“What are you doing with that crap? Put it back!”

“Why?” she asked. “I have enough on my ration card for it...”

“That’s not the point,” he tilted his head with a mischievous grin, silently urging her to follow him.

The duo walked through the grey hallways, careful not to draw any attention to themselves before reaching Troy’s room. She never asked how he managed to get a room of his own, but she was pretty sure bribery or seduction had been involved, and the fewer details she knew, the better. Besides, she thought as she flopped onto the familiar mattress, far softer than her own, it behooved her. This was essentially her “home” away from home. It’s privacy, and his company had saved her more times than she cared to admit.

“Why are we here? I’m heading out with the Scouts in an hour. It certainly isn’t time for one of our game nights.”

“Of course, it isn’t,” he grinned, pulling a small package from a cabinet next to his bed. “It isn’t even night! But what kind of friend would I be if I allowed you to head out into that big world...on your birthday, no less...without a proper breakfast.”

He pulled a plate from the canvas sack, then lifted a napkin to reveal two enormous carrot muffins. Zoe’s eyes locked on them, then on Troy, returning quickly to the muffins.

“Where... where did you get... they’re my FAVORITE!”

“Eh, you know I have my ways,” he smirked, breaking a piece off the muffin top and placing it in her mouth, smiling as she groaned with delight. “Take it easy. If you keep making those noises, people will think we’re doing something else here, and your sister will have my hide.”

“Please,” Zoe rolled her eyes. “Ana knows better. But really, where did you get these? I think I’ve had two in my entire life.”

“I called in a favor,” he replied, his voice now filled with sincerity. “It’s a big day for you, and you deserve something special.”

“Troy,” she cooed. “You’re entirely too good to me.” 

She grabbed one muffin and took a huge bite. Then she took the other and placed it in Troy’s hand, but he rebuffed.

“Oh, no. No, no, no. They’re for you. It’s your birthday, after all.”

“Don’t be silly. I can’t possibly eat two before I go. I’d be too full to run away from all the zombies that will be chasing me!”

“Zo... don’t even joke!”

“All right, but I’m serious. Take one,” she insisted. “Sharing a delicious breakfast with my best friend is the only thing that could possibly top finally seeing life outside this cinderblock.”

“Well,” he playfully nudged her shoulder, “if you insist.”

He took a piece of the muffin, licking off the crumbs that stuck to his fingers.

“I still don’t understand how this is the way you want to spend your birthday. I know the desire to get out of this place, but... it’s not safe out there, Zo.”

“I know, but I’ve trained for this. Hell, I wanted to do this seven years ago, and I would have if Ana hadn’t but in.”

“She was just protecting you.”

“Protecting me from what?”

“Flesh-eating monsters, for one thing.”

“Troy,” she consoled, reaching for his hand. “I could have stayed on pest control. Stayed inside The Tower my entire life. Play it safe, never... live. But I wouldn’t be happy, and don’t you want me to be happy?”

Troy took the now empty plate from her hands and put it on the table beside him, then he wrapped her in a warm, loving embrace.

“That’s all I’ve wanted since we were kids, Zo,” he whispered. “That's not going to change.”

She pulled back with a smile. “We'll meet up tonight, and I’ll tell you all about my adventures today. Deal?”

“Deal,” he relented with a forced smile. “Just... be safe... please.”

“Of course I will.”

He wrapped the remainder of his muffin in a napkin and returned it to the bag.

“Are you insane? Why aren’t you finishing that?” she asked.

“Because it’s yours. I know with that muffin to look forward to at the end of the day, you will do all that you can to make it home.”

“Home,” she said wistfully. “I never felt much like I had a home. But then, I guess home is wherever you are. Well,” she giggled. “You and carrot muffins.”

Troy looked at his watch. “You better get going,” he lamented.

“Yeah, I guess it’s time.” She jumped to her feet, giving Troy one last hug.

“Thanks again. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“I don’t know either,” he teased. “But whatever it was, it must have been amazing.”

Zoe reached for the doorknob with a laugh. “Now, there’s my Troy. We'll catch up tonight. I promise!”

“We’ll catch up tonight,” he nodded, then she was gone. He stared at the door for a long while, then fell back on his bed. “She’ll be back," he reassured himself. "She promised."

@choicesficwriterscreations

Tagging others separately.