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gremlingottoosilly · 9 months

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Beekeeping age [Dilf!Konig x fem!Reader]

You're ex-boyfriend is an asshole, so you decided to fuck his hot military dad instead. You're going to find out why his first wife ran as fast as she did, very soon - but Konig is still the best dick that ever happened to you.

CW: Daddy kink(obvi), power imbalance, possessive Konig, perverted Konig, age gap(Reader in her early twenties, Konig in his early forties), mentions of cheating(your ex is a douchebag anyway), slightly obsessive Konig, size kink, unprotected sex.

FIRST PART (can be read separately) AO3

— Why your wife left you, again?

You stuff your face full of…something. He cooked it – gods did he cook it well. It’s meat and vegetables and spices, and it feels like your dad cooking but twice as good. It feels like pure sin because he says you shouldn’t worry about calorie counts or how fat the meat is, or how good everything tastes fried because he needs his special girl to feel good and healthy and fatten up a little bit, and you…gods, you’re down. Bad.

You wonder if König’s wife left because she couldn’t compete with his cooking. You wonder if his wife left because he was feeding her too good.

— Why don’t we leave uneasy questions for later, Schatzi?

He brushes his hand over your hair, taking in the way you look – dressed up in his shirt, skin covered in bites and bruises from his hold. He can’t see it right now but can almost testify to the way your lipstick was all over his collar – good thing he wasn't wearing his uniform shirt, wouldn’t want to make dorks from Kobra jealous.

He brings you another plate, he fills your glass – you never knew beer could taste this good, but he whispered something about having his own little homemade brewery for wine and beer somewhere in the mountains, in his Summer house. This man has a hug apartment in Vienna and a Summer house – you think you heard him having enough land to go hunting and to keep bees, and you might have cum a little bit just here and there.

— I would like to know the story, actually. To not repeat her mistakes, you know.

— You won’t, Liebling. I can already picture you with a ring on your pretty finger.

— Not so fast. Maybe I don’t believe in marriage.

— You’re too young to stop believing in it.

— Way to talk when you’re the divorced one, sir.

— Shut it, Schatzen. I can still take care of a good girl like you, ja? König leans in to kiss you, his lips brushing over your mouth – it’s wet and swollen, he bite you quite a few times already, and you feel dizzy just from the way his tongue lingers just a second before going in, taking your arousal even more. His hand gently brushes some hair from your face and you giggle from the sensation of his rough fingers on the softness of your skin. It never failed to mesmerize you, just how seasoned and old the colonel might be – and his hands would still tremble as if he is handling the finest porcelain doll in his hands. He has the expression of an anxious, devoted follower – you are not sure how his wife could left him. If he was looking at you like this every day, even as you go through with pregnancy and a piece of shit kid like Paul, you would die before leaving him.

— Could you two please stop fucking each other?

— I thought you wanted to move to dorms.

— This is my house too!

— Not on the documents, it’s not. — You can’t just throw me away, dad! — Your new stepmom needs her space.

König grasps your shoulder as you try to stop them from arguing again – it’s embarrassing enough that you’re fucking your ex’s dad. Colonel makes it a whole fucking show, parading you around as his controversially young girlfriend, making sure that his son will hear your moans and whimpers as you get fucked at every surface of this apartment. You were wondering if you could ask him to move to the Summer house – even with your college and all. You can take a gap year and write a journalist investigation about lonely veterans and their mastery at brewing alcohol. You can take a gap year and try your best in the new trophy wife gig. König’s hand is firm on your shoulder – you know better than to try and argue with him, the silent recognition of authority loud in your head. You sigh, trying your best to just stop yourself from acting too damn weird. It’s their male thing, and you’re just an intruder in a big T-shirt and old leggings. König said it wasn’t his wifey’s – that he burned all of her stuff when she left. Somehow, you find peace in that statement.

— How could you even…Jesus fucking Christ, this is disgusting. She is my age! — And the most beautiful girl in the world. I can see why you liked her. — She is my girlfriend! — Schatzi came to me in distress and begged me to take her. I think we both knew you weren’t…the best option. You feel more embarrassed with each second of their conversation. You don’t want to listen, you don’t want to take in their words, you feel like a trophy being discarded between two different winners. You feel like a prized mare on a farm – and they won’t even look at you. Too distracted by the sound of their voices, you eat your dinner in somewhat somber peace because you need to eat, after all, and you really like what König cooks. You like what König does most of the time. All of the time.

Paul storms off the room after a few minutes of bickering. You feel guilty for not stopping him because he was still kinda your boyfriend. You ex-boyfriend. Your asshole incel-ish ex-boyfriend whose assholless literally made you go and sleep with his dilfy dad, and…god, you feel like a whore. Good. Paul was calling you a whore a lot of the time, you may as well take the new name and plaster it in your new badge.

König’s hand lingers on your back, caressing it gently. You whimper because you feel bad and you’re still in college, and Paul’s disgusted reaction reminds you that fucking a guy in his forties isn’t the best business decision. Even if the said guy is a retired colonel with shitload of money, even if he still goes to work sometimes, just because he wants to feel cool and shoot guns at bad guys, even if this guy buys you cool gifts and he promised to renovate your car or buy you a new one, and he makes plans and takes you to places that don’t make you feel like begging for attention.

If anything, you feel like he is drowning you with attention.

His hand lets go of your shoulder – he was holding you so tight the whole conversation, you can sense the bruises forming on your skin. You lick your lips, and he moves to kiss you again. You feel like drowning, you feel like this is all just a dream – and you’re also drunk because gods, König knows how to make a good glass of…something.

— You shouldn’t act like this. He is your son.

He laughs dismissingly. He dismisses a lot of things you said – you think it’s the age difference. You think he is just being traditional, and you don’t want to be too nagging. You don’t want to end up like his wife and wake up from the dear you’ve been seeing.

König’s lips are soft, and you can look past his hands, taking you too possessively – you can close your eyes, and you can just listen to his accent, smiling as his tongue worms its way into your mouth. He is good, you think – at this whole kissing thing. At this whole “Hi there, I’m a retired old dog and I am fucking the girlfriend of my only son. I’m divorced btw” .

He has experience – you know it when he tucks your lip between his teeth, when he massages your shoulders as you spread your legs already, so wet for him, it’s almost embarrassing. You never slept much with Paul – his poor excuse of a son – it was always never enough lube, it was always never enough attention, he always needed you to shave or to leave your hair to grow a little bit, it was either your perfume being too sweet or you no wearing anything at all. You thought he would have much more fun masturbating to his anime chicks and poor gaming sessions with his friends.

But König isn’t like this – every time he drops on his knees to eat you out like a man starving, you feel utter and complete devotion. In his tongue, in his mouth, in his teeth as he sucks little marks into your thighs, making sure you will remember it tomorrow when he will ask you to stay for breakfast and then ride you to whatever you need to come next. Last time he promised to drive you to the library, he took a few turns and took you to some restaurant instead. You gushed about not having proper attire, he was still in his half-uniform and rocking dark cargo pants, and he was apologizing every time his fingers hit that special spot in your cunt as he fingered you during the second course of meals. He said that he was so, sorry about not fucking you properly, about having to resort to public displays like this – and you were too high on loving him to care. You still are. — I don’t think we should be…

— He left. Won’t bother us anymore.

— I’m not in the mood right now.

— You’re always in the mood, Schatzen. Enough to drive me crazy. — You’re a pervert. Like Paul.

— He takes on after his father, ja?

It would alarm you how much contempt he had for his own child right now. Then, again, you were the one who dumped his son for the powerhouse of a dad. Maybe it was your daddy issues, maybe it was your dumb reasoning and the summer break that you didn’t want to spend with your family. Good thing you’re spending it with the other.

König’s face is buried between your legs, his teeth tugging on the soft fabric, forcing your leggings down. God, it feels good – he is so high on wanting you, can’t even wait to take off your clothes properly. You never had a man wanting you so badly before – it’s addicting, it’s crushing, it makes you feel like a goddess among men. Makes you feel wanted, a thing that your ex never did.

You forget about guilt when he kisses your lower tummy, when his lips trace down to your cunt, taking sharp licks through your panties. You wore them this morning, something from a new lacy set he bought – one of the only ones that weren’t torn off from your body the moment you took them on. He always wanted you to make these little fashion shows for him, making good use of his money – you weren’t a sugar baby, not on paper, you still clutched to the last traces of your dignity, but he did buy you a lot of gifts.

— S’ pretty for me, Liebling. The prettiest girl in the world.

— I assume after…af..ter your wife.

You giggle when he frowns, his rugged face filled with concern. He doesn’t like jokes about his marriage – you don’t want to ask him about it because it would mean waking up from a dream you want to experience over and over again, but you heard what Paul was talking about. What his mom told him about. you heard enough to know that kissing a man like König is a safety hazard and a liability that you can’t afford, but it’s warm, and he is rich, and you don’t want to go back to your part-time job this season. You want to be dumb and you want to be young – right now, you’re doing both. — Don’t be so dumb, Schatzi. Although it suits you.

— I’m not dumb!

— Nein, you’re not. Just silly.

— You just call me a different type of dumb.

— I like it when you’re dumb. Makes you cuter.

König is awkward and funny, and he buys you things that you could never afford. He is mysterious and kind – to you, not his enemies – and he uses German words randomly in his phrases because he knows the accent, and the pronunciation drives you crazy. You never thought of thinking of yourself as a dilf hunter but, hell, here you are. With his dark ginger stubble – and grey streaks that make you go wild every time you look at him – between your thighs. It’s tickling, and it’s a bit irritating, and he will rub some calming lotion in your skin after this, making sure to cover every inch of your skin with some expensive cream that he knows jackshit about, but you wanted it, and so he went out and bought it. Gosh, you felt dumb even asking him for this.

He traces his kisses along your thighs, tongue lingers to press against your wet, swollen folds. Flirting in front of Paul made you embarrassingly hot, solidifying you as a shitty, bad, horny person who needs fat cock stuffed in your leaking pussy. You lick your lips, and you tremble when he pushes his tongue inside. He is starving, pushy with all of his needs – makes you almost beg for it, like a pet he took from the street.

— I want to take you to the Summer house next week.

You open your eyes, shocked. It’s nothing, really, you shouldn’t be this surprised about him wanting to show off his other properties. You want to check out his wine cellar and how sturdy the furniture is. You want to see if he had deers running around the house. If he had any pictures of his family – and if you could ever hope to compete with his ex-wife. It’s a petty competition, but you don’t have much to do and to think about. It’s obvious the love here won’t last until the end of the break, and you want to get as much from it as possible. Maybe even some hot bikini picks at his pool. He has to have one. — What if I have plans, sir?

It’s innocent and you play the role well. You think some of your friends wanted to hang out or make a study group for the upcoming semester. You are a good girl at heart, with nice grades and a perfectly played-out future, and not as many working opportunities as you may like, but you could manage with something. Writing a killer essay about your life with a smoke show during Summer would be easy with someone like him.

He laughs, his hand lightly smacks your butt. You bite your lip and whimper, not accustomed to pain feeling this good.

— You will change them, little one. For the whole Summer.

— I wanted to study.

You moan when he lightly presses his tongue on your swollen clit, kissing and licking it. Slick runs down your legs, and he collects it with his mouth. You whimper again, tears prickling at the edge of your eyes – the sensation is sudden and overwhelming, makes you get your hands in his hair and slightly tug. He groans, pleasure from having you so active, so participating is overwhelming. He loves you, loves you, loves you, adores you. God, you’re beautiful. And so, so restrained – just his special good girl. Only for him. — You can study at our house.

— You mean you and your ex’s house.

He smacks you again for the foul language – although you know you didn’t even curse, he is still punishing you. In the lightest way possible, of course, you know you won’t handle anything too harsh – still, you feel nice and warm when he isn’t just eating you out, but also smacks you for speaking in such unpretty words again.

You don’t even register the way he called the house yours too. All too dumb for this, again.

— I mean our house, Schatzen. Just you and your daddy, ja? You worry too much about studying.

— I want a nice job. Without…distractions.

He slips one finger in your warm, tight hole – even just one digit is enough to make you shiver, clenching it like a sloppy whore. He is big in every way – just two of his fingers are bigger than a normal cock, and no, you didn’t want to compare a son with his father, but even Paul’s cock, as big as it was, was still way thinner than his father’s.

— Why you need a job?

— Not everyone are retired military. I need money.

— You have me.

— I d…don’t want to be a sugar baby. Sir.

— I have no problems with being your daddy, Schatzen.

König is build like a powerhouse – when he slips just the tip into you, ignoring all previous preparation because, by god, you both need to feel connected, he is dragging you on top of the table, tossing aside the dirty dishes with remains of his perfectly cooked dinner…and you feel like home. Almost.

You imagine waking up with his cock every morning, and with the nice cup of coffee only he can make. You imagine him gushing about rebuilding the house and working on his tight and neat desk job at the mercenary company – something about instructing, dumb recruits, only the most elite missions as an operator in retirement, creating strategies and tactics for the warfare – and thinking that, wow, your husband is really cool. You shouldn’t be thinking this because this is just a summer fling. Your relationships with Paul weren’t too serious either, you just didn’t want to be alone.

König gently caresses your fingers, whispering something about numbers – you think you could recognize the word for a ring a bit later when he was making a call to some friend. In German, of course, you don’t quite understand it, but you worm your warm on his lap like a spoiled cat, purring on his crotch like a good fucking girl. But it was a while later.

Now, you’re gasping and panting, his cock spreading you open and stuffing you like the poor bird he was cooking for dinner. You know you won’t be able to walk after a short while – would probably have to spend the day at his house, with him cooing and gushing about your sore body while he is quietly proud of himself. If you’re lucky, you could convince him to let you go in the evening. If you’re not, he will ask you to stay the night, and maybe even a bit more, and then he will just get the bag with your stuff from your room in the dorm by himself, and then… — What do you think about getting married in August?

Maybe, you do know why his wife left him.

#cod #konig x reader #konig #yandere konig #cod x reader #call of duty #yandere cod #cod x you #fem reader #konig cod #konig x you

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incorrectbatfam · 1 year

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Imagine Damian writing Tim's resumé the same way he complimented him in this week's WFA

Timothy J. Drake-Wayne | 555-555-0719 | [email protected] | 1007 Mountain Drive, Gotham City NJ 60035

Education

Brentwood Academy (1990–1996)

Gotham High School (1996–1999)

Miscellaneous practical learning (1999–present)

Duolingo Klingon (1/1/2009 – 1/2.5/2009)

Skills

Bisexuality

Standing on leg(s)

Occasionally drinking liquids

Etc.

Experience

Stalker | self-employed (1996–2004)

Routinely snuck out of house

Photographed local vigilantes

Matched the butts

Robin | Batman Operations (2004–2007)

Prevented Batman's self-destruction

Intercepted school shooting

Wore pants

Team Leader | Young Justice (2005–present)

Managed Superboy and Impulse

Embezzled a Batmobile

Donned a mask under a mask

Red Robin | Batman Operations (2007–present)

Rescued Batman from timestream

Involuntarily donated spleen

Faked own assassination attempt

CEO | Wayne Enterprises (2007–present)

Drank a coffee

Worked with breathing humans

Signed name with a stamp

Older Brother | Wayne Family (2008–always)

Allowed younger brother to steal clothes

Gave younger brother bite of snack

Taught younger brother curse words

Helped younger brother with improv beekeeping

Provided younger brother with The Talk

Picked younger brother up from school

Showed younger brother how to photoshop

Sprayed younger brother with garden hose

Assisted younger brother with science project

Drove younger brother to petting zoo

Made younger brother at least six smoothies

Found younger brother a trash panda

Took younger brother for Batburgers

Consoled younger brother after bad day

Bought younger brother new backpack

Forgave younger brother for past

(cover letter below the cut)

Dear Hiring Manager,

Employ me.

Sincerely, Timothy

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amons-hat-enthusiast · 2 months

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A petition to stop Rio Tinto’s mine from destroying Serbia’s nature

"We call upon you to prohibit extractive mining projects and metal processing in the Jadar Valley in Serbia.

In particular, we demand that you cancel the proposed Rio Tinto lithium mine in Loznica. We demand that you protect the biodiversity, fertile ground, farming villages and rich cultural areas.

Serbia’s most fertile land can be found in the beautiful Jadar Valley. Small family farmers grow raspberries and plums, engage in beekeeping and sheep and goat herding. The valley borders mountains, is surrounded by water and home to thousands of sustainable multi-generational farms.

But instead of protecting it, the Serbian government has approved a project with multinational mining corporation Rio Tinto, for the exploitation of “Jadarite”, a lithium ore in the valley. The government and the company have ignored scientists and mining experts who advise vehemently against the mine and are threatening to cause irreparable damage to the water, land, air and it’s people. Local citizens, who do not want to give up their sustainable agricultural land which has been in their families for generations, are being ignored.

The process of separating chemically stable lithium from jadarite ore involves the use of concentrated sulfuric acid. The process would take place 20 km from the Drina River and use 300 cubic meters of water every hour, while the chemically treated water would be returned to the Jadar River.

The outpouring of inevitably polluted water, as well as underground waters which contain arsenic, mercury and lead, would contaminate entire river basins and continue their journey across the Jadar to the Drina and Sava, polluting not only Serbia's but other countries' water sources as well.

We reject the pollution of the air. Treatment with the above mentioned (and additional) aggressive acids produces toxic gases that can spread within a radius of over ten kilometers and which will corrode the skin and lungs of humans and animals.

We reject the endangerment of the population around the Jadar Valley in the interests of a multinational corporate profit. Rio Tinto has promised 700 new jobs, but forgot to mention that 19,000 people are set to be displaced or severely effected.

Rio Tinto in 2020, destroyed a 45,000 year old sacred Australian Aboriginal cave. The company and its representatives have been repeatedly convicted of fraud and paid billions of dollars in damages and fines for illegal destruction of land, but continue to ravage and destroy natural environment around the world. The company is accused of participating in war crimes in Papua New Guinea, where a ten-year civil war broke out due to the presence of their mine.

The citizens of Serbia have the right to clean air, clean water and healthy living conditions. Stop Rio Tinto’s lithium mine and protect the people, our heritage, our environment and the rivers of the Jadar Valley. United we can save our environment."

https://action.wemove.eu/sign/2023-03-stop-rio-tinto-EN?akid=s1568260..uAF-ha

The text above explains the situation. This is a very important petition and I'd be very grateful if you could sign it and spread it.

(I see that only people from European countries can sign it, others please reblog for this to reach as many people as possible)

#petition #serbia #srbija #balkan #balkans #vojvodina #rio tinto #kreni promeni

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valyriansource · 1 month

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THE CHILDREN OF GARTH GREENHAND

According to legend, Ellyn loved honey so much she sought the King of the Bees in his vast mountain hive and made pact with him, to care for his children and his children's children for all time, becoming the first beekeeper.

#asoiafedit #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf #asoiafsnet #asoiafminorhouses #asoiafwomensource #preasoiafedit #ellyn ever sweet #preseries #gifs #ours #childrenofgarthgreenhand*

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simplestudentplanning · 10 months

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100 Hobbies To Try

Update: I wrote this at like 1 AM, so I was kind of half-asleep lol. A few people brought up that there were a bunch of duplicates in the list, sorry about that! I redid the whole list and ordered them alphabetically to avoid any repeating words. Hope you find the new list much more helpful!

Hobbies are a great way to practice self-care, and to have as a stress reliever. As uni students, we often find ourselves stressed out about our academic responsibilities, projects deadlines, and even financial concerns. We need some way to let out those stresses, and hobbies are one way to do it. You don't have to be good at them, you just have to enjoy doing them!

Here's a list:

Acrylic pouring

Antiquing

Archery

Astrology

Astronomy

Baking

Beekeeping

Bird watching

Bookbinding

Calligraphy

Canoeing

Candle making

Cartography

Chess

Checkers

Collecting coins

Collecting crystals

Collecting funko-pops

Cooking

Crochet

Crossword puzzles

Cycling

Dancing

Diving

DIY electronics

DIY home improvement

Drawing

Embroidery

Fencing

Filming

Fishing

Frisbee golf

Gardening

Genealogy

Geocaching

Glassblowing

Guitar

Homebrewing

Hiking

Horseback riding

Hot air ballooning

Ice skating

Inline skating

Jigsaw puzzles

Juggling

Kayaking

Kite flying

Kite surfing

Knitting

Lego building

Letterboxing

Magic tricks

Martial arts

Meditation

Metalworking

Model airplanes

Model building

Model rockets

Model trains

Mountain biking

Origami

Paper folding

Painting

Paragliding

Parkour

Piano

Photography

Podcasting

Pottery

Programming

Puzzle solving

Quilting

Rappelling

Reading

Rock climbing

Rollerblading

Running

Sailing

Sculpting

Sculpture carving

Scrapbooking

Scuba diving

Singing

Skiing

Soap carving

Soap making

Stand-up comedy

Stand-up paddleboarding

Stained glass crafting

Stargazing

Surfing

Traveling

Urban exploration

Urban farming

Virtual reality gaming

Web design

Wine making

Wine tasting

Writing

Yoga

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helloliriels · 2 months

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GOD SAVE THE QUEEN 🐝 by helloliriels - a The Beekeeper AU concept (which I may or may not be writing at the moment ... shhhh!)

Either way I needed a fic cover and @jobooksncoffee was brilliant to suggest an image mashup. The rest just sort of ... happened. (😭✌️apparently I can't handle that much yellow in one place?!!!!) I stopped counting at 47 layers.

@johnlocky @chinike @rhasima @fluffbyday-smutbynight @friday411 @safedistancefrombeingsmart @totallysilvergirl @sarahthecoat @discordantwords @ghostofnuggetspast @wizama @whatnext2020 @scrub456 @sgam76 @janetm74 @calaisreno @bluebellofbakerstreet @bewitched-bullet @kabubsmagga @topsyturvy-turtely @thetimemoves @thegildedbee @theofficialinternetloner @naefelldaurk @keirgreeneyes @meetinginsamarra @a-victorian-girl @justanobsessedpan @john-smiths-jawline @iwlyanmw @londonlock @dragonnan @aquilea-of-the-lonely-mountain @solarmama-plantsareneat @meandhisjohn @gaylilsherlock @purplevatican @wssh13 @peanitbear @kettykika78 @khorazir @thegirlfromthesouth @loki-lock @strawberrywinter4 @lisbeth-kk @windforkthewriter @janiesprings @impalaparkedat221b @dontfuckmylifewtf

#But then the roses ... and the texture ... and ... you know what #decisions were made.#the beekeeper #johnlock #sherlock fan fic #down the road ...#helloliriels #bbc sherlock

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joelsmochi · 9 months

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𓍯 . . . mochi’s masterlist

‎warning: my blog mainly consists of 18+ works. i cannot prevent you from reading my work, however if you are under the age of 18, please do not interact. that includes liking, commenting, or reblogging my stories. this is for my safety and yours. by opening and engaging with my works you are confirming that you are at least 18 years old. enjoy :)

this is a sideblog, my main blog is yrself

about me | kofi

works that are tagged with the symbol ‘𖧧’ are inspired by lana songs; works that are next to each other indicate multiple parts.

joel miller

there you go, you poor thing -joel wants to take care of you (18+)

closer - tortured artist!joel (18+)

𖧧 dirty lies, good surprise, us against the world - after college, his neighbors daughter has changed a lot, and joel can’t resist her (18+)

𖧧 diet mountain dew - you want to get over your shitty boyfriend, luckily his father has no problem helping you (18+)

honey, honeypie, come get this pollen - joel is obviously beekeeping age (18+)

𖧧 every man gets his wish, indulge, sharing is caring - joel finds ur pornhub account and wants to be ur first collab :D (18+) PART 4 COMING THIS WEEKEND

javier peña

𖧧 be the boss - javier just wants you… (18+)

𖧧 playing dangerous - what was meant to only be an arrest turned into a slap on the wrist… or should i say ass? (18+)

#masterlist #mochi talks 🍡૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

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stamp-it-to-me · 11 months

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a 1987 Romanian stamp from a series on beekeeping in Romania

[id: a postage stamp with an image of a Carpathian honey bee collecting pollen off of a pink flower in the foreground. in the middle ground are other flowers in the meadow. and in the background are rolling hills and finally mountains. stamp has the caption "Apis mellifica carpatica". this stamp is marked as being worth one Romanian leu. end id]

#snail mail #stamps #postage #romanian #insects #bees #flowers #plants #mod fave

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mun-urufu · 3 months

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i still have no idea wha the fuck happened

Intro post ig

i have an alt account for when i reach post limit now: @munurufu

Pansexual; Transfem; Non-binary; Furry; plural (since apparently it’s not normal to have voices in your head)

@the-principality-of-sealand made me a vampire

YOU ROBBED ME OF GARLIC BREAD

INTP :3

I may be anarchist

chemistry and astrophysics and theoretical physics are what I geek out about

gender according to @griffinmcelroyspisskink-remade :

cryptid [REDACTED] nerd

Pronouns: any/all but prefer she/her and they/them

my other blog(s):

blahaj.zone = @munurufu

that’s it (for now) I SHALL SPREAD LIKE THE PESTILENCE

currently a triggering with bad mental health and a not good family but trying to remain positive and healing myself almost daily on Tumblr

porn blogs; porn bots; pedophiles; anyone who hits on me ina weird pedophilic way DO NOT INTERACT OE I WILL BONK YOU I TO THE ETERNAL BAN AND REPORT YOU TO THE GODS OF THIS GODLESS UNIVERSE

Trigger warnings:

none, I’m friendly and welcoming to all people and minorities and try to avoid anything which could hurt someone, if a post might be not good for someone (trauma, violence etc. NEVER ANYTHING RACIST OR OF SIMILIARITY) I’ll flag it. currently a high chance that I’ll have a breakdown, life’s not been well but I will tag those posts appropriately.

Nationality: Slovakian 🇸🇰 (I’m a mountain person :3)

Fandoms I’m in:

Urban Legends (Backrooms; SCP-foundation) Norse mythology Cryptids D&D; Furry; Genshin; HSR; Wuthering; Harry Potter (fuck JK Rowling I’m here for the fanfics) Doctor Who; Frieren; Tokyo Ghoul; Hermitcraft; there’s more but I’m stupid and can’t remember them

Anime recommendations:

Frieren, Tokyo Ghoul, Konosuba, Fairy Tail, some other ones idk

Videogams I’ll play with u if u ask nicely and I have time:

Minecraft, Genshin, Honkai Star Rail, Wuthering Waves, Rocket League, Apex Legends

Minecraft rp Server:

TimeSkipSMP (basically people from different time periods get somehow into the same world with no recollection of their previous memories other than their occupation. Send as ask if u want to join (24/7 server uptime) I’ll send an invite to the discord server where you’ll get all the needed info and a guide on how to make your character. Cureent characters:

15th Century French Plague Doctor

Medieval Beekeeper

Medieval Flower salesman and famer

17th Century pirate/swashbuckler

Current inventory:

Big Blåhaj from @tunderpal

Estrogen

the Heebi Jeebies

Longbow

64 arrows

Mundane short sword

Whisper Talisman (Rare)

Description:

This item has been blessed by a monk long ago who lived on the peak of Mount Hua. This will protect you from wind element attacks and will reduce knockback by 85%

Dopamine

about fuckingn time

ENJOY YOUR STAY ❤️

Tags:

@im-a-sentient-magic-carpet

@hadoom

@just--a--random--human--being

@enochianghost

@virulent-atrophy

@samlikeslawnchairs

@daggerhobbit

@lesbiansgethammers

@burger-churgler-new

@cactus-with-boobs

@catinasink

@tanihanya

@cult-of-the-lamb-fan

@official-bread-posts

@candieduranium

@projectmoonlightproductions

@chocxy-prince

@nedyakthefurry

@orionskittles

@pussypoptart

@oldmen-runningtheworld-anewage

@roxxywolf-multiversa

@pretentious-media

@omgitscheez

@newsbelltoday

@thewindyoubargainedfor

@imisslifebefore2016

@thefloralmenace

@irisbleufic

@iamnotjules

@dashoulinas-fandom-dump

@itsitadclioverihere

@lavender-witch128

@cannibalisticdespairi

@0gl1tch0

@raeprise

@hallucinating-at-the-disco

@rainbownerd12345

@37x3

@averydeadshootingstar

@mynaemsophie

@chocobytes21

@gender-fluidbees

@cthulhuismywife

@worldbuilding-tomfoolery

@thecrazyalchemist

@moonysfavoritetoast

@cutesludge

@you-need-not-apply

@the-trash-eating-llama

@pansexualpasta

@autism-criminal

@poemsofanentomologist

@greychaos1

@mtcenarius

@i-am-thoroughly-confused

@the-cheese-slut

@first-witch

@squidsinatrentchcoat443

@ankoku-teion

@thee0ne-with-rabies

@0xn0n53n53

@amethyst-aster

@unstableunicornsofasgard

@saint-jaz-the-queer

@beccagalemarley

@yourlocalbadgerscales

@ayolily

@prongspie

@david-goldrock

@yelenapines

@lemonicedcake

@lost-my-soup

@legendaryorca

@ieatwalls404

@str4wberrysp1derz

@cordyline-uki

@colombiana-16

@judecomradesquad

@crabgirldigitization

@118sexen

@100percentevil

@mybedroomceilingsbored

@fujillamaparadise

@g0dwat3r

@half-eaten-baguetteee

@jaydovesworld

@ang3lic-t3ars

@definitionoffuckup

@atropus-belladonna

@nicoswilltolive

@belovedrat

@nickelw

@traaansfem

Moots who wish not to be tagged :(

@uwathebestgirl

#introduction #blog intro

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rastronomicals · 9 months

Video

youtube

9:51 AM EST January 15, 2024:

Witch Mountain - "Beekeeper" From the album Cauldron of the Wild (June 12, 2012)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

File under: Doom

#Witch Mountain #Cauldron of the Wild #Beekeeper

0 notes

ahrahrahraha · 11 months

Text

Series

Your Hands Have Made Some Good Mistakes by @thenhewaswrongaboutme

3B by @softlyspector

"Bucky is used to being alone, so is the girl living in apartment 3B. He keeps to his routine, to crossing off amends. But mutual loneliness forges an unlikely friendship. Alone and reclusive, sweet and incredibly strange, with deep secrets and regrets, 3B has more to reveal than meets the eye".

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Sugar by @softlyspector

"By a miracle of fate, Bucky Barnes does not fall off of the train. He does not spend decades as a brainwashed assassin. Instead, he goes home to Brooklyn to spend his life with a girl he adores, a snarky nurse that he met during the war. Told through a series of non-chronological one-shots."

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

The Florist, The Beekeeper & The Pumpkin Carver by @softlyspector

Home & Better by @softlyspector

For The Love Of The Game by @pellucid-constellations (college/baseball AU)

"Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it."

Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader

Undisclosed by @pellucid-constellations (lumberjack!bucky)

"Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either."

Pairing: Lumberjack!Bucky x Reader

A Correspondence Of Obligation by @pellucid-constellations (prince!bucky)

"Obedience, duty, pristine smiles—raised as the princess of an oppressive kingdom, you knew nothing else. Your father signed your life away at the ripe age of five, black ink bleeding into a contract between nations, fate cemented with the flick of a quill. So when the time came to fulfill the promises you were too young to make, you expected much of the same in the land of Brookshire. But Prince James had other plans, as did the enemies looming outside the castle walls".

Pairing: Prince!Bucky x Princess!Reader (Royal AU)

A Million Reasons by @pellucid-constellations

"Bucky Barnes, with all of his trust fund money and family connections, gets assigned community service. You, as someone that's technically part of the community, have to put up with him. Every day. And he won't stop killing your plants."

Pairing: College!Bucky x Reader

Never Let You Go by @bitsandbobsandstuff

"After losing the woman they love, Bucky and Steve make a desperate decision with unimaginable consequences."

A Love That Never Leaves by @bitsandbobsandstuff

"Sometimes when you go looking for the past, you find things you never expected. When an accident brings him face to face with something he never knew he lost, Bucky Barnes begins to understand an age old truth – it’s so easy, sometimes, to love the things that destroy us."

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Safe With Me by @bitsandbobsandstuff

"When an unknown threat enters your life, protection is offered at the highest level. As Bucky Barnes comes into your life, the game changes, and you realise falling for the man tasked with keeping you safe is the last thing you expected."

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Three Shades of A Man by @bitsandbobsandstuff

"It was different every time, what Bucky needed from you to survive himself. It was in these moments you saw the shades behind the mask he wore in front of the world"

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Guiding Light by @wkemeup

The Witness by @wkemeup (detective!bucky)

By Any Other Name by @wkemeup (FBI!bucky)

Sunrise by @wkemeup (armyvet!bucky)

Delicate Edges by @wkemeup (biker!bucky)

Sky Full Of Song by @wkemeup (pirate!bucky)

Pride & Privacy by @adrinktostopyourthirst

Feelings Are Fatal by @sunmoonandeddie

Appointments by @noctumbra

Codename: Lazarus by @sagechanoafterdark

I'll Take Care Of It by @tellmealovestory

Something More by @tellmealovestory (modern au)

It's a Deal by @justreadingfics

Looking For A Heartbeat by @justreadingfics

Bad Match by @justreadingfics

Lumby & Bunny by @sweetdreamsbuck (lumberjack!bucky)

Florist Bucky by @navybrat817

Biker Bucky by @angrythingstarlight

Soft Mafia Bucky by @angrythingstarlight

Chubby Baker Bucky by @angrythingstarlight

The Two of Us by @bucky-bucket-barnes

The Five Times Bucky Saved You... by @buckysknifecollection

Tiktok Trend by @tuiccim

Snow by @delaber

Personal Pillow by @buckyalpine

Untouched by @buckyalpine

Wait, What? by @buckyalpine

Untouched by @buckyalpine

Project V by @babyboibucky

"You ask your best friend Bucky a favor of a lifetime." Pairing College!Bucky Barnes x Reader"

What's Left Behind by @ussgallifrey

"The world turned upside down the minute you let your guard down and, despite it all, you just had to keep going because… what else could you do at a time like this?"

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Gender Neutral Reader

The Kids Aren't Alright by @ussgallifrey

"Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy but, between the three of you, there’s enough lyrics to write an anthem. You’re doomed from the start"

Pairing: Steve x named!Female Reader x Bucky

Updated 4/11/2023

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quirkwizard · 3 months

Text

There isn't any real reasoning for why I made this. Maybe because I already did something like this with 1-A? I just thought it'd be a fun scenario to imagine where these characters would be if they had real jobs. Instead of ending up in various levels of dead or damaged. I will ignore characters that I think are simply too evil to have any real chances, like Moonfish, or others I just don't think are interesting, like Mange. That and most MLA because they already have real jobs. Them being redeemed would just be them going back to work with ankle bracelets on.

Mustard-Fumigator: If his gas can knock out and poison people that quickly, I imagine that it can kill bugs just as well. And if he comes across any particularly bad bugs, he always has his gun.

Giran-Salesman: I mean, it'd be basically be what he was doing before. Now instead of seeing illegal weaponry, he'll be selling used cars so expensive it should be illegal.

Spinner-Streamer: He can still play games and not leave his house, but now he will hopefully have a more healthy outlet for everything he is going through. He doesn't even need a VTuber set up. He is the goofy model.

Tomura-Waste Management: This allows Tomura to let out his destructive tendencies and can help get rid of a lot of debris and trash that is just laying around. Now instead of leaving a destroy wasted, he can clean up the destroyed waste.

Mr. Compress-Street Mage: Probably the most obvious pick out of everyone on this list. Between his power, his gimmick, and his natural showmanship, it all fits right into this kind of job. He doesn't even need to change his outfit to make it work.

Muscular-Coach: Since he can't be trust in any fighting based sport. I'm not sure if this would be as a gym coach or personal couch, but either way, he is going to take all that sadisms and ideas of conflict and channeling that aggression for other people's benefit.

Kurogiri-Travel Agent: As much as hero may be on the table, I think there would be some optics issues with that. Still he could send people where ever they want to go on vacation with a fraction of the rates. Just as long as they give a way to send them back home.

Dabi-Lead Singer: Specifically something in the metal or rock genre. He's got that perfect mix of voice, look, and angst to fit right into that kind of culture. And considering how many songs are written for people who don't like their dads, he'd have plenty of material for songs.

Toga-Photographer: Toga was the hardest out of all of them. I just went with something that could express herself more healthy, maybe even being a crime scene photographer, and being in a job where stalking someone is considered worthwhile experience for the job.

Twice-Odd Jobs: As much as I want to say tailor for his sick measuring skills, he doesn't really have any definable skills. So having him be around and help people with his dozens of clones seems fitting. That and there is so much comedic potential in them doing odd jobs week to week.

Gigantomachia-Tourist Barge: Instead of demolishing cities, Gigantomachia can use his tough body to show people around normally hazardous areas like oceans or mountains. He can even use the cheers of the people he's carrying as encouragement to boost his power.

Geten-Ice Cream Man: I prefer to think that Geten's abilities would cover ice cream as well. As such, it is only a natural conclusion that he would become an ice cream man. And knowing him, he will fight and train to be the best ice cream man on the planet.

Kuin-Beekeeper: Considering how bad of a spot bees are in, Kuin could do a real service to the community be helping to spread out pollen with her power. And hey, leading a bunch of bees would come naturally to her as a living insect.

Number 6-Motivation Speaker: Forget the amount of social manipulation he did in his own story, I say this job fits because of the amount of spite Number 6 has. It's that spite that allowed him to get going and fulfil his dreams. Now that's inspiring.

Overhaul-Doctor: I've already gone over how useful "Overhaul" would be in medical work and he already has plenty of experience with medicine. Heck, we can even have the other yakuza guys around as nurses and other kinds of assistants. Beside manner may need work.

Stain-Bounty Hunter: I wanted Stain to end up somewhere where he could technically good, like a detective, but a bounty hunter fits way more within his skill set. Plus, there is a lot of comedy potential. Imagine a poster him in the bond office say "Pay your bond or else!"

Gentle and La Brava-Social Media Stars: Basically what they were doing before. Now with hopefully less crime in between videos. Gentle could even spin his whole redemption for more views, telling his sad story in prison and his time trying to rehabilitate himself. Take that as genuinely or facetiously as you want.

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