#bestie you have adhd just accept it

[finely-tuned-line]

RP:

Log 219

FTL: FTLR-3 has started moving around. I can confirm that it behaves similarly to a lizard, though nothing especially like a cyan lizard specifically. It's been moving about the chamber, but it hasn't yet made any attempts to break out. It knows that it won't work.

FTL: This type of learning is not something that lizards usually do. They keep going and going, even if it's to their own peril. Though they have learned of typical signs of threat - but that's through cycles of experience and reinforcement. They have also been recorded as able to be tamed, which once again, is heavily reliant on external reinforcement. Learning within a single cycle that attempting to escape is futile without any sort of external source providing reinforcement showcases a level of learning capacity above that of any other sort of Rot - and above that of any other lizard.

FTL: As curious as I am about FTLR-3, I am completely aware of the fact that this makes it highly dangerous - moreso than most other Rots. I would continue to research it, ignoring the danger, but I don't believe that that's possible right now. Unfortunately. I may not value my own life, but interacting with it is not a good idea. Mostly due to the fact that LIFEGIVER's shipment has arrived. FTLR-3 will be eradicated soon. I... I will not interfere.

FTL: I'm highly disappointed in myself that I didn't manage to get more research done, but I do not think there was much research that could be done. My interest in the project has long since faded, and while rationale dictates that that does not matter and I should have continued my study, that would have been fruitless. There were no interesting behaviours from it, and there wasn't much I could have done.

FTL: As for the corrosive substance I was attempting to develop, well. I've succeeded. It would not be effective against Rot though. Or well, against anything at all. The liquid is corrosive, but barely so. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not cut out for chemistry. Thankfully so, as it is dreadfully boring. And now I do not have to continue in my attempts, due to LIFEGIVER's cure being here, as previously mentioned.

FTL: The organisms carrying the chemical have made their way into my structure, which was slightly unpleasant. The feeling of creature crawling around on me is not one I enjoy. I just wish that the creatures get to FTLR-3 as soon as possible, and let me grieve the loss of high potential for research.

FTL: I never did figure out what FTLR-3 truly was. A Rot, of course, but the fact that it doesn't fit into any of the three sub-groups bothers me heavily. I'll leave it as an outlier for now, but a new group shall be created if another Rot similar to FTLR-3 is ever created. Which is highly unlikely.

FTL: That does lead me to remember a train of thought I had earlier on in the cycle. Will FTLR-3 escape the confines of the Great Cycle as other Rots do? I believe that some iota of intelligence is needed in order to be part of the Great Cycle, alongside being mostly organic. That first requirement is what bars all Rots (and while us Iterators definitely do fit the first requirement, the second one is the reason why we are excluded. We may be organic in part, but we still are majority mechanical.), would it do the same for FTLR-3?

FTL: ...Let's hope it does. But the more I think about it, the more I doubt it. While I am unsure about the level of intelligence necessary, I do know that lizards possess it. As established before, FTLR-3 goes beyond that. Well. If this worst-case scenario does happen, then I will know. I'll be on the lookout, just in case it wakes up where it was first created, though I think it's more likely that it would do so in the containment chamber where it's been for the past several cycles.

FTL: What will- ....should I do if that does happen though? I cannot keep relying on LIFEGIVER to continue eradicating it over and over, completely pointlessly. And while I do relish the opportunity to potentially research it more, and with time to do so. It... I cannot release FTLR-3 as I do with my other experiments I no longer need. That would permanently wreck my regions. Nor can I allow it to continue inhabiting that room. As I've stated before, it will find a way out.

FTL: I do not know what to do. If it gets trapped in the Great Cycle, does that mean that it has Karma? If so, is it possible for it to ascend via Void sea? Either way, I have no options. I have no way to ascend it or remove it from the Great Cycle somehow. It'd just have to remain in the containment chamber, growing more and more dangerous by the cycle. I do not want that.

FTL: I do believe that I have no proper way out of this situation if FTLR-3 does happen to be trapped in the Great Cycle alongside most lifeforms. If that is the case - which I am now almost fully convinced it is - then I am most likely doomed to die via Rot. A very volatile one that can and will spread out easily.

FTL: I... I am not going to record the other things I was going to talk about in this log. Apologies to future me (...if you even exist) but I have no time.

FTL: I need to think.

[oh-meow-swirls]

i think this was funnier in my head.

[dramaticallycryingblood]

Things I don’t get about the marauders fandom as someone who’s been obsessed with them for literal years

1. How we let so many characters be only children?? like I get that people don’t necessarily want to make OCs but HOW did it get to this? James, Marlene, Peter, Remus, Mary, Barty, Dorcas, Alice, Frank and so many others! Idk maybe it’s just where I’m from but look me in the eyes and tell me you know that many people who don’t have siblings ALSO the ratio is so off and barely any of them have only child energy. It’s just not right.

2. How sooo many of you aren’t multi shippers. Like what do you MEAN you can only see James with Regulus and Regulus with James?? What about bartylus? what about sunrose? what about draksun/sunkiller? what about moonwater? what about jily? what about prongstail? WHAT do you read?? Aren’t you bored??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN you only have ONE ship for each character???? As a multi shipper, I can be convinced of any ship with anything ranging from a real good fic or a pretty edit to an enthusiastic rant from a random person on TikTok and it just makes things interesting. Maybe my adhd brain just needs more ships to focus on or maybe some of you just lack flexibility ( or imagination), but we need to fix this cause there aren’t enough fics with the ships I like 😭😭

3. THE SHIP NAMES. I can’t be the only one who thinks some of these suck right? Like why are we saying jegulus when starchaser and sunseeker are RIGHT THERE?? Same with jily and flowerpot, and bartylus and starkiller. ALSO some names make me wonder if some of you just haven’t grasped the concept of ship names or if I just got it all wrong cause marylily and jegulily are just annoying, why are we keeping the L in Lily? The point is to merge the names together not stick them one beside the other, I just say marily and jeguily because it rolls off the tongue so much more easily

4. The Peter erasure. I just don’t get it, it’s so easy to include him in things, you don’t have to make him a main character, but just mention him every once in awhile. Sometimes I’m reading an important scene in a fic and everyone is mentioned EXCEPT for Peter! It’s so easy, just make him roll his eyes at his friends being idiots or something. And it’s not like you’ll get his personality wrong, ALL THESE CHARACTERS PERSONALITIES WERE MADE UP BY FANS but I understand that some people lack imagination so here’s some things about Peter I like to imagine: he’s a HUGE gossip, like my man sees and hears everything and he takes notes!! He likes to randomly turn into a rat and take a nap in one of the other marauders’ pocket, he does it so much that they had to tell the girls that they had a pet rat cause they were asking too many questions. He’s really perceptive and his friends are all oblivious so it leads to funny scenarios like:

Remus & Sirius after YEARS of pining: we’re dating

Peter: I thought you guys had been together since third year?

Sirius: I’ve literally introduced you to people I was dating?!

Peter, shrugging: look mate I don’t question you lot anymore, you do whatever you want, I don’t care what you’re into, I just don’t wanna know about it

He also pulls people, like he’s really nice and will gossip to anyone who’s in his vicinity so he’s friends with basically everyone and he’s funny and pretty and he’s got charisma so he just charms everyone and when I say everyone, I mean everyone, even the slytherins have a soft spot for him (that’s how he gets accepted among the death eaters during the war actually). In pranks he’s the lookout so he often has to distract the teachers so he asks them random things and spits out half-made up facts about anything so he’s besties with most of the teachers which means he doesn’t get many detentions.

5. The Black brothers, more specifically the way the speak to each other in most fics, like they call each other “brother” so often and as someone who has a brother I’ve never called him that. Is it an anglophone thing? Like do people who speak English at home all do that or are fic writers only children?? (That would explain my first point actually) Or is it more a rich people thin?? Cause I know it’s not a francophone thing that’s for sure (also special mention to people who don’t know anything about French writing Sirius and Regulus as French speakers, I can tell you don’t know what you’re writing about but I eat it up everytime anyway)

6. This is actually just about ao3 but I WANNA BE ABLE TO LEAVE MORE KUDOS!!! I just loooooove fics but I can’t leave kudos at every single chapter and I’m bad at writing comments so I can’t show the author how much I love their work, I hate itttt 😭

7. Why there aren’t more fics about the Black family, and not just Sirius and Regulus, but Andromeda, Bellatrix and Narcissa as well like that would be so interesting and maybe like a deep dive into the Black family ideals and all that (if you have fic recs I’m all ears!!)

8. How jegulily is a pretty popular ship (which I LOVE) yet SO FEW people ship Regulus and Lily outside of it! They are a power couple and I love them and they don’t need James to work!!!

9. Why there isn’t more background Minnie x Poppy cause they are my mothers and I wanna see them moooooreeee

If you read all of this I love you 🥰 have an amazing day/night

[nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid]

The friend finally randomly replied.... with the typical conversation occurring of

Me: *reaches out*

Her: *leaves on read for a few days then replies* I was distant because I thought you should reflect on your actions.

Me: What actions??

Her: The fact you dont even know is why I distanced.

Me: I'm sorry. You didnt tell me something upset you so how would I know? People dont always know something they do or say upsets you. Thats something you have to communicate so we can clear the air/work on it.

Her: Here we are again with you simply not knowing youre wrong. It's all here in our chat.

Me: You. Didnt. Tell. Me. But also it's in the chat? You mean the chat where I told you that you upset me with how you spoke to me? The chat where I bared my heart and mind about having pots and being neurodivergent? About how you treated my medical issues and mental struggles as character flaws instead of what they are, medical conditions? How you spoke to me in a very ableist manner repeatedly when I tried in vain to explain that I wasnt blowing you off xyz times because I didnt care but that because I was having flare ups in symptoms? THAT chat? Because you getting upset that I was honest with you about how you made me feel and why is your problem not mine.

You being a neurotypical, indirect, ableist, holier than thou, MEANIE, is your problem not mine. I was sitting here grieving the loss of a long-time friendship for 2 months because you couldn't be bothered to communicate with me like an adult. I literally do not understand people. I dont understand how you think the way you're treating me is totally okay. I was depressed as fuck but now I'm just more hurt and angry.

Angry that you refuse to accept that someone you were friends with for years decided to confide in you that they were autistic+adhd+pots. Officially verbalizing it. To you. And you just.... shut me out like I was trash. How fucking dare you. How absolutely fucking dare you.

I'm heartbroken, still. Which you don't deserve. I'll miss you terribly. Which you dont deserve. My kids will miss your kids, which is depressing for them as I have a total of 3 mom friends with kiddos their age which is now only 2 I guess. (Not including my new tumblr mom bestie who we havent actually chatted chatted cuz, I'm shy as fuck in the beginning of friendships. But I digress.)

I just.... I'm so hurt. I am so hurt. She doesn't.... even understand how hurtful she is and that's worse. Fucking ironic considering I communicate with her clearly about what upsets me and why and yet it simply doesnt sink in what I'm saying. She simply COULDNT be the reason I'm upset and hurt.

I can't even think anymore right now. This is too much. Honestly I was starting to accept the no contact and her replying with more ableist shit just reopened the wound.

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Fine. I need mutuals to lose my sanity with so I give you my Hazbin Hotel hcs based off my OCs.

Please I am so fucking abnormal about my OCs and would love to elaborate on them any time!!! Please if you want specifics about their interactions with their respective partner or character sheets (I cant draw vivzie style good and I have some generic AI art of them I refuse to post it because I don't believe in using ai art for anything other than private use. I paid money for the one that's my profile pic cuz its my dnd character.)

Vox with a big tiddy goth girlfriend reader. Short, chubby, v insecure. Also feral adhd gremlin who copes with dark humor. Makes Vox's ADHD worse. They give each other vocal stims. Call and response echolalia. Vox is constantly assaulted by memes now. Honesly they bring out the inner goblin in each other but it's fine cuz it helps Vox unwind and emotionally regulate finally. She's bi too so anytime Vox (who canonically is more into men) finds a guy he likes they can totally bring him in for a threesome. She leans towards women so it goes both ways. She's a sub for women but tops for men (especially Vox's bratty ass).

Alastor with a skinny non binary autistic person. People mistake them for a twink. Some days they're more fem cuz they want to be pretty. Usually anxious, quiet, enjoys reading and listening to Alastor's music or radio static. Then you get them to unmask and they're a barely stable perpetually exhausted creature thriving off of caffeine and memes. Alastor adores their chaos and listening to them ramble. Appreciates they try to find modern culture he'd relate to and enjoy. They spend time co-existing to bond, doing their own thing next to each other. No pressure to initiate intimacy or anything other than friendship. Autistic person gets a lot of Alastor's sensory ick (esp about touch) without being nosy and just accepts their murder gremlin radio friend. (Accidental platonic partners).

Valentino getting a fucking therapist (he needs one. I see the bi-polar theory and as some one who worked with bipolar people I can see it but he could just be a terrible person). That therapist having two main personalities after death (based on a book a read where a person's ghost was split into two people from before and after their trauma). Both are qualified therapists. One's a 2000s emo boy who's esthetic is Laughing Jack. Except plot twist they're from the south (based on a kid I knew in high school). Puts Vox in his place more often than not by just tying him up and whisking him away to have his tantrums in private (they probably [definitely] fucked.) Tough love kinda but in a way that actuall forces Valentino to confront his issues and deal with it. The other is basically if Harley Quinn got a Homestuck Trickster design. Very sweet. Very blunt. Chaos incarnate. Elaborately finds ways to put Valentino in situations that make him uncomfortable so he has to deal with them and then pavloving him with candy or sex when he's a good person. They're both helping in their own way because now Valentino has to think about his actions, emotionally regulate, and is rewarded for good behavior. The whole dynamic is cute and sexy but also kinda twisted.

Plot twist, Alastor's accidental QPR, Vox's chaos thicc witch, and the unhinged therapy duo are all besties from when they were alive and it means Vox and Alastor have to be civil to each other cuz their partners are friends and they don't wanna upset them.

Bonus points cuz they make friends with Angel and Angel gets to watch two candy themed clowns walk his boss's ass like a dog.

Lucifer gets the AUDHD diagnosis he didn't know he needed ("oh, that's what's wrong with me"), lots of comfort and validation, and a healthy dose of therapy as well.

[dizzeeflower]

I guarantee you there is one manifestation of disability that almost everyone on this planet has actively laughed at and made fun of. yes, even you

can you guess what it is?

it's something there are constant gags about in media, something people mention in passing as a joke

something that if it presented itself in a public space i guarantee in most situations would be openly and loudly mocked (and if not humour, most people would at least express disgust)

don't believe me, do you?

✨ incontinence ✨

yep, it's incontinence. (get your giggles out now folks)

I am partially incontinent due to a fun cocktail of mental and physical disabilities and i know for a fact this is where people will stop reading, have a little laugh, and move on thinking this isn't worth the read anymore

but please, if you want to be a true disability ally, stick around and listen.

5% of the world population is estimated to be incontinent to some degree. 1 in 20 people (and no, that is not just elderly people)

so yea when you're in the grocery store, or at the gay bar, or seeing your college theatre's rendition of Grease - chances are there's a good handful of people in the crowd who struggle with incontinence.

it might be just someone who has minimal stress incontinence - something very common in people who have been pregnant - or someone who has adhd and forgets to go to the bathroom, missing the cues from their body that they are desperate, or yea it could be the 85 yr old grandma who wears diapers.

the point is, all of these people deserve respect for their bodies. everyone does. and this includes bodies that malfunction sometimes.

'omg thats so funny im gonna pee myself' 'reddit boys can go piss in ur little baby diapers' - great comeback bestie, but can we move on from them now? im gonna be honest these don't offend me personally, but it's worth being aware of where the humour of these comments comes from. its rooted in ableism

but something that does offend me and something that genuinely triggers me to have panic attacks and can push me into an anxious depressive state for days at a time, is when a character wetting themself is used as the butt of a joke on screen.

i'm thinking season one of stranger things. yeah, most of us know the scene right? when eleven forces a bully to pee his pants in front of the whole school? yep, triggers my ptsd right good that one does. and my siblings ptsd. and im sure many many many more ppl with incontinence (or even ppl without it who had the unfortunate experience of an accident in school)

if you found it funny, i dont care at this point. keep doing you. i dont blame you, okay? but i just want to ask that you reconsider WHY you laughed. 'because he pissed himself' okay but WHY is that funny? 'older kids and adults arent supposed to piss themselves' yea well it happens sometimes to most people at least once, and to 1 in 20 people much more often than that. so WHY is that funny?

keep asking why why why... and if in the end you can't think of WHY, then maybe there isnt a reason for you to laugh at it except that you've been taught to by osmosis. because everyone else laughs

dont give up here, because this is where i want you to really think. is it worth it?

is it worth laughing at something just because everyone else is, and risk 5% of the population going into a self conscious spiral, a panic attack because of your mocking, making them think they will never be accepted?

obviously u making a "im gonna piss myself" comment while laughing does not put 1 in 20 ppl into a panic attack, but u get where im coming from now i hope

so if you're still reading, im guessing you want to reconsider some of your behaviours and comments about this subject. thank you! now that you've realised where these jokes are rooted, you're going to start noticing a lot more often just how much this disability is mocked in society.

but what else can you do to help?

consider sticking up for us because understandably incontinent people dont tend to stick up for themselves lest it out us as incontinent. because admitting that is still met with laughter and disgust. help us jumpstart the incontinence acceptance by speaking up for the silent minority whenever an incontinence joke comes up in class/family gatherings/general conversation (this is my opinion, any other incontinent folks are v welcome to challenge this if u would rather ppl didnt for whatever reason!)

another thing you can do is - you won't like this - dont call ppl disgusting for buying adult diapers with silly animal characters on. unpopular opinion here on tumblr dot com, i know

but listen: incontinence products are disability aids! pullups, incontinence pads/pants, adult diapers, these are all disability aids. not products of k!nk, not things to snigger at in the pharmacy.

and would you complain about someone putting hello kitty stickers on their walking cane? would you think it gross for someone to doodle little stars and affirmations on their wheelchair armrest? is it wrong if someone wants pink hearing aids instead of a nude coloured ones? no?

then don't laugh if someone wants lil hearts on their pullups, and don't fake gag if you happen to see purple patterned adult diapers on ur dash. sometimes humans just like to decorate their bodies and extensions of their bodies. this is just that. and lets be real, plain white nappies just aren't the vibe sometimes

~ while we're at it, ppl with stoma bags are beautiful and deserve to wear whatever they want to feel comfortable and handsome as hell 😘 ~

and let me address the elephant in the room. yeah, some people have a f3tish for this stuff (just like anything can be made into a f3tish). whatever. if ur against that stuff then idc pls dont talk abt it in the tags and comments. anyway it is NOT an excuse to find actual disabled ppl disgusting for needing these aids.

and heres the funny thing: you usually can't tell if someone uses diapers for a f3tish or for their disability, or possibly both!

so you're gonna have to not attack random ppl on the internet bc you don't know what their life is like (what a shocking new hot take)

if a 46 yr old balding man with a beer belly and chest hair who isn't visibly disabled mentions he uses diapers, don't assume he's a creep and its a k!nk. it might be, sure, but it might be a condition or disability that you have no right to comment on or judge him for.

so if youre squicked by it just block and move on, don't send anon hate, dont make a post about how these types of people make you sick. you might just lose a valued mutual who was secretly incontinent and thinks you hate them for it now (whether this is right or wrong, its often how these things come across)

(btw if anyone fuckin talks abt k!nk on this post im going to scream directly in ur ear :) make ur own posts and don't bring any f3tish discussion onto mine)

had to get that out of the way unfortunately because this is a condition that is so unfortunately overrepresented by the f3tish side. i wouldnt have to talk abt k!nk on many other posts about disabilty aids but this one unfortunately was necessary

it's exhausting

imagine having a disability that requires aids thats almost EVERYONE winces at, laughs at, mocks loudly. and then to come on tumblr, the place that is meant to be full of acceptance from strangers in similar circumstances, queer and disabled and poc - but the moment your aid is brought up in discussion its seen as something disgusting and the property of freaks and creeps and people who are evil and want to do children harm

it's exhausting, like i said

i dont have much else to add honestly, im shit at writing cohesive posts (especially when im physically shaking with anxiety bc woohoo announcing to possibly thousands of ppl that im incontinent) but if anything i just hope you will question yourself if you laugh at this stuff in future

im going to go back into my little anxiety hibernation hole and never open up about this condition again ✌🏼

as for the incontinent population, we’re pretty silent about this condition so it’s easy to forget abt us. but please just keep us in mind and stick up for us when u can

— for clarity: incontinence is not ALWAYS a disability, it is a condition that can affect ppl on a sliding scale. for some it is a mild inconvenience, for some it severely impacts daily life. for some it is the only physical condition their body experiences, for some it is a symptom of a predetermined mental or physical disability such as generalized anxiety disorder or paraplegia. whether or not it is considered a disability, acceptance of ALL incontinence is a good step to eradicating this source of ableism —

no one has to reblog this but pls consider it if this has opened ur eyes a lil and u wanna open some more

[edhellfire]

2023 was quite the year.

One of my best.

Ups and downs as usual but in general it was great.

Not only did I do everything I intended to but I became a better person a long the way.

I was there for those who needed me. I was a good friend, a good sister, daughter, cousin.

I worked, I traveled, I let go of things that held me back and clung to things that made me better.

I learned to accept apologies and move forward. I learned my worth and to not stay silent.

I have my ADHD and anxiety under control. Health not so much but thats on the agenda for 2024.

I am so thankful for this year and the people that it brought me.

Shout outs below.

@havvkinsqueen You and I have known each other for years but I feel like this year we got closer than ever and you're one of the most important people I've met on here.

@chrissyfied This year brought you to me when I needed you and I am so thankful it did. You make my days better.

@iwillnotbow You don't need to hear this year because I feel like you've known me long enough to know just how much I appreciate you.

@untamedlobo my bro! We talked more this year than ever before and I hope we get closer in 2024.

@scarredfeathers you're such a breath of fresh air and I appreciate the energy you bring into my life.

@behindtheireyes never would I have guessed you and I would become this close but I'm here for it. I love our random talks and I'm falling in love with our muses.

@zoomingupthathill I'm so glad 2024 brought you back into my life.

@little-miss-losing-her-mind I miss you and wish you were around more. I hope life is treating you well.

@lunastar92 forever a bestie.

@qxeenofhawkinshigh I love you to death, you lil weirdo. Thanks for being the cutest hamster... and for spoiling me even though I panic every time you do.

@vionlet I'm glad you're back.

@vitaegratis we don't talk at all but I know the kind of person you are and we need more people like you. We are a weird version of soul mates. Its an Eddie thing.

@puppetoffthehook we don't talk enough but you need to know I adore you and your energy.

@depictedblue love me dammit.

I'm doing this mobile so hopefully I didn't forget anyone. I hope this list gets longer in 2024.

This fandom is scary but you guys make it so worth it to be here.

Lessons learned:

Sometimes what we want isn't what we need. We cling to things and people that really aren't good for us. Trust the universe. If you tried, and you spoke about your feelings, and people didn't understand, walk away. Know your worth. What some people don't value is what other people hold dear. Let the right people into your life and your life will be so much better.

Take risks. Even if it's scary. Risk taking took me to Denver and I had the time of my life and made new friends.

Be loyal. Some people not only deserve it but need it.

[kiisaes]

Hey, i’d like to hear some of your bakudeku/katsudeku headcannons since i saw some and they’re so cute😭💞i love your art so much, it’s amazingg keep it up!!

ty !!! 🙏

I'll be honest I don't really have any headcanons off the top of my head. I have to think really hard about those I like but usually I can point at a preexisting one and go "haha yes I like this one" without thinking of it myself =v=

I think my biggest hc rn - and it's kind of controversial bc ik ppl have different opinions on it - is that deku is just flat out gay. like that's his sexuality, he only likes men. I used to hc him as bi and I campaigned pretty hard for it, and regarding fandom ships I still don't mind shipping him with girls. (tbh with fandom ships, I kind of just disregard a character's sexuality hc entirely bc I'm a multishipper who thinks crack ships are fucking great.)

but vibe wise, as well as putting canon into perspective, he just feels so gay to me. he screams comphet. he's got some vague internalized homophobia where he's totally supportive if u're gay, but HE'S not gay. and there's no way he can be even though he very well could be. like just think about it. he was really only so shy and nervous around girls bc he's literally never interacted with one casually before high school. and after he got close to 1A and could, you know, talk to women, he lost any deeper attraction in them. literally what happened with him and ochako. that's just how I feel anyway, but he won't admit his natural drift towards men (bkg) and his emotional hangups on men (bkg). he hangs out with men (bkg) way too much for him to have any serious interest in women imo

anyway this is just my take, you can hc deku as whatever sexuality you want!!! I still think bi deku has so much flavor like yass be the disaster bi u were meant to be!!! but gay deku just speaks more to me nowadays, I guess

ok upon thinking long and hard, I have come up with these silly hcs as well:

they are both bad at verbalizing their feelings. dk is overall horrible with emotions that pertain to himself so he just doesn't dwell on his very obvious crush on bkg. he just thinks that it's normal to be obsessed with another man. like lol hes been doing it since he was a baby. it's not anything more. he is NOT gay. straight men can appreciate everything about another man and more! just bestie things! and bkg has accepted in his heart that he is gay for dk but u are NOT going to hear him say it. sorry but that man does not know how to even start a convo about this. he'd probably want to, but knows he'd fuck it up and dk would miss the point. he'd probably just tell dk to fight him and then make out somewhere down the line bc it's easier and less embarrassing to him. little does he know, HE'S embarrassing and I hate him.

so u know the whole "bkg is an early bird and dk is a night owl" hc? and how it's technically canonically wrong? yeah. I'm obsessed with how wrong it is. bkg going to bed early and waking up late is so real of him. he just really fucking loves to sleep, and dk is the exact opposite. man goes to bed late and wakes up at 5 in the morning. he gets like 3 hours of sleep maximum and he's functioning perfectly. god I wish I were him

that one adhd vs autism meme but it's bkdk. u get to choose which ones which. maybe they're both

dk has dimples, one on each cheek! maybe bkg has one too. who knows

this is one I just thought of right now but it's like. part of the fandom bible that bkg can cook and dk cannot. however. I think dk can cook ok - fine enough to sustain himself - but bake REALLY WELL. bkg can cook bc he's "a natural" who can easily figure out exactly how to cook and spice foods. he doesnt need to follow a recipe to a T, he can just figure it out himself. dk can bake bc I'd imagine baking, with their meticulous recipe requirements, are easier to comprehend for him. he takes a shitton of notes on the daily, u can't tell me he'll eagerly read and jot down shit so his pastries turn out well. he'd prefer following step by step than winging it. does this make sense. words are hard

I always like drawing bkdk pretty close in height. ik lots of bkdks like a height difference but I prefer when rivals are pretty equal, and that includes how tall they are

dk's hands are coarser than bkg's, except around the palms, where bkg canonically has thick skin (so I'd assume there's some callouses there)

I like to think that bkg is good at basically anything, considering how he's a perfectionist. give him something to do and one week to do it, and he'll have a new skill under his belt. but there's a few things he can't do that trip him up so bad and make him so angry. like to me he definitely doesn't know how to whistle or roll his Rs. he just physically cannot. they're such pointless abilities but he hates how he can't do them. especially bc dk can definitely do both

dk keeps calling bkg "kacchan" bc it reminds him of a simpler time :') it makes him feel more connected to bkg than he initially is, and tacitly tells the class that he knows bkg best. also bc bkg never told him to stop so like ... why should he stop now. lol. and ALSO bc he's waiting to see how far he can go before bkg snaps. little does he know, bkg never snaps about "kacchan" bc that's dk's name for him. it reminds him that dk is always there, always calling out for him. and recently, it's a reassurance that he's still here, against all odds

ending this list with a classic but dk's favorite food is katsudon bc it reminds him of kacchan's name (KATSUdon vs KATSUki)

hope this is a good enough hc list anon!

[koba-baboba]

do you have any hc’s that are lgbtq+ or Neurodivergent for supernatural?

Oh absolutely bestie (I’m so sorry I didn’t answer this sooner😭)

Human!Cas is definitely autistic. Even after he learns how to be human he still stumbles through it just like I do. I feel like he makes too much eye contact to compensate for his awkwardness yk?

Sam is pan. I feel like he just wants someone who would love him and take care of him. Gender and sex don’t matter, he just wants to feel accepted

Dean has ADHD. Need I explain more?

Rowena gives me bi vibes with a preference for women

Lucifer while I love him is our honorary straight

Destiel is the ultimate ADHD autism couple. Dean gets loud when he’s overstimulated but cas gets overstimulated from loud noises. They eat on the opposite side of the room so they don’t have to hear each other chew. They share a hyper fixation on horror movies. Dean daydreams a lot and cas just likes to watch him stare into space. They share a weighted blanket. Cas loves pillows and dean only uses one so every night they have to trade around pillows to get comfy. They keep their room dim because they hate how bright the bunker lights are. Cas obsessed over Stardew valley I just know it and dean teased him to no end about it

Gabriel is gay 👍

Charlie gives me sapphic ace vibes (totally not projection)

[spiritmander13]

I'm about to get into hot water, so before we begin, I do not support ableism. I don't believe that mental problems such as memory issues and disorders don't exist; they do, I have ADHD. I don't believe that physically disabled people are weaker than people who have basic functions. If you need physical sources to do things like remember or walk around, I get why. Two of my main fandoms have issues with ableism (Warrior Cats has a ton of it, from renaming someone to Halftail to being forced into medicine cat hood for being born blind) but I'm not talking about them.

I like Cabby. She is a good player, and despite being physically flawed, she won Season 3 after redeeming herself and recognizing that she doesn't need to say sorry to be forgiven.

That being said, there is one thing that I absolutely hate about her arc- that being her memory loss and how it was just used as a reason behind her files.

In 'Home Is Where The Heart Is', it is implied that Cabby has short term memory loss, and therefore uses her files to remember. Yes, this was later shown in 'Blue Buried', but it always bothered me- a person with great memory and possibly photogenic memory- how this was shown in one episode and then pretty much never brought up again.

Ever since the beginning of III, Cabby uses her files. And in those first seven episodes, I really liked her character as a strong competitor. Have they shown any signs of memory loss in the first ten episodes? No, not really. What about 'Pesty Besties'? Not really. How about 'Friend or Froze', the episode after the reveal of her memory? Ehhhhh- But what about 'The Great Bluish Bake-Off'? 'The Show Must Go On'? 'You Can't Do This Forever'? Nope.

HOW COME 15 OUT OF THE 19 EPISODES OF INVITATIONAL HAVE NO SIGNS OF CABBY'S MEMORY LOSS? Before, I get, they weren't drafting Episode 12 when 2 released, let alone 7. But after 15, the only sign of memory loss is in 18, where she's reading off of a written script.

I'd accept if she was doing this for fun, or because she was into Anthropology, or because she wanted to make a strategy. I can say that I do like the idea of her memory loss, but it's written SO BADLY and barely brought up that I can't wrap my head around the actual reason behind Cabby's files. They just said "Hey, here's a fun fact about Cabby!" and only bring it up a few more times in the season. Maybe a few more scenes of her struggling with the disability would make me love it.

That's one of my problems with III. They don't really focus on her too much after rejoining that the idea of her having files because of memory loss is fleshed out enough for me to enjoy it. I wished they handled this idea better so that I can appreciate it.

TL;DR: They didn't focus on Cabby's short term memory loss long enough for me to appreciate the purpose of her files and that makes me sad.

[noys-boise]

i accidentally reminded myself of how much the original Howard the duck comics are like. really about the neurodivergent experience. and i never know how much of that was intentional because i just know there was something really neurodivergent about Gerber (he himself said it on his blog actually) but I don't think he realized just how deeply that affected his art and i don't think neurotypicals could ever pick up on these things.

like. you have Howard himself who gets thrown into this world he doesn't understand, forced to go along with its nonsensical customs, and just getting in more trouble when he tries to go against it eventually leading to him falling apart mentally. important note here, as the series goes on it becomes more obvious that it's not just humanity he can't connect with, he didn't exactly fit into his own word's society either so the autism thing here isn't just metaphorical but pretty literal too. anyways, the first person he connects with is Beverly who doesn't really follow societal conventions either and has something really neurodivergent about her too. and their connection is strong. and yes it's in a romantic way but also deeper than that it's a sense of solidarity. Howard has no choice but to be an outsider to humanity with his duckness and all while Beverly could theoretically go along with it but she just doesn't want to. in fact she does everything in her oower not to. but at the end of the day neither of them feels accepted and they have an immense amount of understanding between them. which is once again... really neurodivergent. we flock together. speaking of, Howard's other friend we meet early on, Paul Same who other than being Gerber's self insert is just... i don't know even know how to explain how much his backstory is just a description of adhd. and finally there's a third person Howard connects with immediately (and honestly i think that whole arc weirdly parallels the way he met Beverly which is interesting but that's a whole other essay i could write) and honestly this whole scene is possibly the most neurodivergent thing I've ever seen. basically Howard goes through a complete nervous breakdown, impulsively runs away from his comfort person upon thinking she abandoned him and gets on a really crowded bus where he experiences just. COMPLETE sensory overload and can only calm down with the help of this weird girl called Winda (sidenote her parents are convinced she's posessed by demons just because she's a little weird and want to get her exorcized which. yikes. but also it's just making the metaphor more obvious to me) who tells him to make weird faces and sounds which he does and it actually helps him and they're pretty much besties from that point on. I'm telling you this is how neurodivergent people connect with each other this is legitimately what it is I don't have anything more to say this is neurodivergent art and it makes my autistic heart really happy.

[morgana-ren]

What's your biggest fantasy kink?

The power imbalance of an older nastier man drives me wild. Want to take advantage, hurt me and use me? Yes pls thank you Sir. Manipulate me into behaving as your perfect pet, never letting me go, willing to share with a couple of his besties who are just as vile? Would kill for me but is never actually traditionally nice to me? Love it so hard.

This is very much a question that I don't think you want the answer to lmao. I have adhd and it's early so forgive the rambling, but it's hard for me to narrow it down. There's a lot, and I'm sure I will have forgotten something.

I've had years upon years to ponder myself, what I like, and by proxy, why I enjoy the things I do. Through that, I was able to let go of any shame or guilt that I might have felt initially, and thus it was allowed to run rampant. Whether or not it's healthy is another question, but that's for therapy to answer, not me.

Power imbalance is a huge one, and so is someone older, bigger, and stronger. Not being afraid to use those things in such a way as to get what they want, much like you said. A professor; a boss; a dragon; a pirate-- something or someone of immense power over my life and likely others. Someone you don't approach with ease. These aren't characters that fit in or blend well in society.

They're unhinged and usually very dangerous. Looking at the characters I like (Reaver, Tomura, Asto, etc) these are people that are very powerful, very dangerous, and very immoral to the point you could argue a black and white evil perspective. I want someone older. I don't want a child who has barely had time to process the world and stumbles into a clumsy love with the first girl he sees. I want someone who has lived and seen and still rejected it all for me.

Fictional hybristophilia, I believe. Bad guys. Always bad guys. I do not ever like good guys with the same passion as I enjoy their worse counterparts to the point that it's more 'bff admiration' rather than an actual crush. I don't want someone that has power but doesn't use it. I don't want restraint. I want someone that wields it like a weapon and fine hones it to achieve their ends, banal ideas like 'right' or 'wrong' be damned.

I like the fear and the terror, and not just my end, but everyone else's. Being completely and utterly untouchable for better or worse because no one would fuck with them. I am, self admittedly, attracted to power. I like the type of power that makes you question even defending yourself against something blatantly horrible because they can and will hurt you to get their way.

I want fierce possession. Mine, mine, mine. I don't want to be one person in a 93 part harem. I want to be the only one. I require feeling special, and I don't like tropes where they try to make you jealous by belittling your looks or intelligence and comparing you to someone else or want to have you 'on the side' as well as a bunch of other people. It's very much a 'My wife/girl/pet/whatever' thing for me.

They'll hurt you, ever enough to lose you. They'd never, ever kill you. It's not a matter of 'If I can't have you, no one can.' It's a shrug and a simple murder of whatever the threat is. There is no escape. This is your life now. Accept it or don't. It's cute when you fight.

Infantilization, in a way. Thanks in part to childhood trauma and the way-- or lack thereof-- that I was raised, I've always had to take charge and be in control. I don't want to anymore. I want someone who takes that control and that power with ease. I don't want to be treated like a child or a baby, but I don't want to be the bigger, smarter one that can outwit my partner with ease. I want to feel small and 'taken care of,' in a way. Small and cute and helpless. Adorable in their rage, and all that.

Essentially, a sub in quite literally every conceivable way. I don't like taking charge, or making decisions, and my head is so loud and messy all the time that thinking is painful. I don't trust my own judgement. I don't wanna. I want someone dastardly intelligent who is comfortable taking the control, and does so with ease. Someone who doesn't need my help constantly and is comfortable in their skin and with their mind in ways I'm not.

I do like violence. Choking me out, forcefully maneuvering me, slapping, whatever. A lot of it is just violence gets them off. I don't want a manchild that can't manage their own emotions so often that they just explode in a violent rage, but more of... think of like a stern teacher. Or someone tickled by your attempts at overpowering them. Someone who gets off on it.

I like malevolent assholes is what I'm saying. Ones that manipulate and abuse and act like monsters, but would burn the world down just to have you. Can and will. It very much is an obsession, and it's one that doesn't die. Can't do abandonment. They fully intend on forever, so that's what it will be.

I'm not opposed to being 'shared' but it would be an extremely rare situation and wouldn't be purely sexual. We're talking these are people that are EXTREMELY close to the person in question and it's not just to humiliate. Think like 'three husbands' type of deal. Perhaps they're inseparable or whatever else, but it's not something given lightly AT ALL, and they'd kill anyone who tries unless it's in VERY specific circumstances.

I'm a bitch. Or in this context, a brat. They have to like that. I can't have a finnicky control freak who doesn't enjoy the dynamic and tries to breed it out of me. Amused by it, and never threatened by it. I'll never be a quiet, demure little thing, but they take pleasure in trying. Occasionally I like fights to spawn over it, but not a consistent barrage of punishment to the point it loses the charm.

Think like... Someone who slaps you when you talk back too much, licks the blood from your lip, gets worked up and does absolutely deplorable things in bed but then curls around you purring mine and sleeps like a goddamn baby with you chained there next to them. Genuine love, but just displayed in the most horrible ways.

I'm whiny, emotionally stunted, touch starved, traumatized, isolated, brash, angry, intimidating, and not quite right in the head. So ultimately, my go-to are strong, powerful, dangerous, obsessive, possessive, deranged, intelligent, abusive bastards that aren't remotely intimidated by my facade, with fantasies that are worse than mine and the power to make it real. Usually sexual deviants. Collars, leashes, and not even in a petplay sort of way, but in a 'you belong to me and you aren't going anywhere' way. Someone who loves me with such a fierce, covetous desire that it drives them mad. I want to be small compared to them, protected by them, etc.

You can imagine what this says about my psyche. Someone who could decode this could quite literally get my entire life's gimmick, and it's not hard.

Look, I am aware it's literally impossible. Someone who loves you would never treat you like this, and in real life, this would be and is a nightmare. I am well aware of the line between fantasy and fiction and have unfortunately lived it. But in my fantasy world in my head? That's what I go for.

[furby-organist]

// spoilers, some thots, differences between canon and my worldbuilding. adhd style rambling.

- Contrary to like, the pilot and Alastor comic, there was a lot less of Alastor terrifying the shit out of everyone with his presence. I wonder if this is because the people he's seen interacting with are a) The hotel peeps, who are largely a self-selecting group of people who are okay interacting with him, and b) other overlords. Anyway, "almost everyone is terrified of Alastor and he is deeply lonely" is still a very important part of this blog and his development and I'm not changing it.

- Alexa is not an overlord. I'm pretty sure that the team (or Viv?) had said that Alastor wasn't a proper Overlord because he doesn't hold territory, but he's very powerful. Not sure if the series will clarify further or if they've decided he's an overlord. Alexa will continue to not be an Overlord. He controls radio as a mechanism and has the only radio tower in the area but he doesn't control actual territory.

- I was expecting Vaggie and Alastor to butt heads way more haha! Vaggie was not malding as much as I expected!

- I had really hoped to see more Alastor/Angel chaos interaction, especially because we got some fun stuff out of the Hunicast. They seem to get along okay. Though it looks like Angel + Husk are getting pretty chummy and Husk has beef with Alastor

(and they like... paralleled Alastor to Valentino? Which is INSANE to me... listen Alastor sucks as a person, and having his freak ass own your soul can't be fun, but there is a MASSIVE difference between the circumstances that had Husk sign over his soul and Angel sign over his soul. Like one is overlord-on-overlord violence and the other is, like, exploitation of structural violence at minimum. "I'll make you a star, I'll make you rich" etc etc. And there's a MASSIVE difference between the abuse & control that Val does and Alastor doing Diet Labor Trafficking by voluntelling Husk as a bartender.)

so I do wonder in canon how Angel and Alastor COULD be friends if the implied parallel is Husk (or anyone) befriending Valentino. Girl that is insane.

Whatever, I am on the radiodust train until I mf die, Alastor/Angel besties train, chaos friends, I think the funniest possible development on this blog is that (after canonically pulling up to the hotel and being like "girl you are delulu. This is a dumpster fire. and I want front row seats" and Vaggie was like "this freak is going to ruin this project") that he clown tax evasion married the ONE RESIDENT. They went "we could make each other worse. we could make all of this worse" (they did not make each other worse but hell certainly suffers when they open their mouths)

- I've talked extensively in the past on this blog about abuse and how Local Alastor thinks a situation like Angel's should be handled and it's not like how Charlie does Lmao bless her.

- I thought it was so funny that Alastor was like "now I have to go to the tailor" bitch your coat was already raggedy and you came back with a raggedy ass coat.

- Also... Alastor behaved a lot more than I thought he would? He was pretty down to do the job of disposing of the egg bois, even humanely, like he didn't really put up too many fights! Idk he was a behaved manager. I think he is having a good time at the hotel. I love that for his freak ass

- I love how him doing freaky ass facial expressions/lighting is mostly like, Something He Does and most of everyone just kind of accepts it. He really is out here saying wild shit too. "I pulled some limbs too. Hahaha!" lmao yesss Alexa randomly saying morbid ass shit bc he didn't think it through how it comes off was definitely a Thing that's happened and will continue to happen.

[finelineutchaos]

MASTER POST!!

Hello hellsite!

(i'm still working on this intro thing lol)

You can call me Arty

Some stuff abt me:

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇷

He/they

Uhhh.. nerd? Idk

inattentive Adhd

Main fandoms include: UTMV, ROT/TOTTMMT, Epic: the musical

(I mostly make ut and oc stuff tho)

I use my oc Vincent as a sona and oc so sorry if that gets confusing-

I use a lot of stuff like ":>" and ":D" so dont mind me

DNI: pro-shippers, racists, homophobes, transphobes/TERFs, etc

ART REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!1!

TAGS:

#arty art (my art stuff)

#arty yaps (posting random thoughts cuz)

#bea here too but she ain't got tumblr (the Official tag for Beas writing)

#arty sketch (wips/sketches/doodles)

#Fineline!UTAU (all things Fineline related. see more about Fineline below!)

Some WARNINGS!!1!:

this user likes to swear :>, I post some suggestive stuff sometimes?? (16+ dw I'll warn u in the post :D)

MEET THE ARTIST!!!1!:

BLOGS:

UT / FINELINE BLOG

MAIN ART BLOG

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

UNDERTALE AU INFO DUMP!!

Fineline is an undertale au that has been living in me and Bea's (writer for fineline and other stuff who is my irl bestie but doesnt have tumblr cuz shes a nerd) brain for the past 4 years and now it’s finally getting life.

Basically found family bad sanses with a lot of self inserts, random ocs I make them interact with, and a healthy dose of shipping.

Their physical designs aren’t too far from accepted fanon but I think their personalities are quite different.

Nightmare is a bit more chill and has massive gossipy wine aunt vibes.

Dust is just a tad stupid and the most extroverted of the group.

Horror is the resident chef and is a big softie with a scary face and no concept of societal norms.

Killer is the most different because he’s the calm, dead-inside always bored one, trying and failing to get the others to chill out.

It would be amazing to have asks for them to answer and be able to share their shenanigans with other people so I hope you guys like their silliness!

List of characters...?:

Fineline!Nightmare

Fineline!Dust

Fineline!Horror

Fineline!Killer

Jas

Bea

Emily

Red

Alex

Siren

Leo

Krea

Beau

Xavier

Josiah

Alicia

Marcus

Amson

Nebula

21

Strato

Lucid

And more! (Yes... there r probably more....)

I'll have to make refs for all these characters and link them... oh the joys of character design

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

[eddywoww]

🫂 I’m sorry people are saying shit that makes you feel that way. You shouldn’t feel bad about rambling. Doesn’t matter if its about nothing at all. You wanna ramble then you should feel like it’s ok to do that. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s hard but you just gotta find your people who are willing to listen to you ramble about nothing. Online bestie Jess will listen to my 8 minute(i’m sure i’ve done longer ones) rambling voice notes on discord. It’s not always about something, hell sometimes my adhd brain just gets carried away and I lose track of the entire point of my voice note but she listens and responds anyways and I do the same in return. You deserve to have at least one person you know you can do that with if you just have the urge to ramble or be chatty. I get it feels shitty though, I’ve had my fair share of lost friendshisps cause I was just too much, too chatty or too weird. The people who aren’t going to accept those parts of you aren’t worth feeling shitty for. See here i am being rambly, this could be like 2 sentences but look at it 🤷‍♀️ best i got to offer is internet hugs/support and an inbox that’s always open. I’m not always around on the server cause it goes by quick some times and i can’t keep up but i’m around and i care. Anyways, now i’ll shut up 😂💜

Luckily, my spouse lets me go on and on about stuff and is very kind about it. So that does make me feel good. I think it’s just that moment sometimes where you’re like wow I know but damn you didn’t have to SAY it to my face 😂😂😂 thank you for being so kind btw I really appreciate and I’m glad you have that opening to talk to someone too, it’s a special thing to have and to feel safe and unjudged

[goldenhoursims]

☁ Hi Everyone! ☁ 

I'm Bee (they/them), I'm 19, and I've been playing the Sims for about 9 years. I've been lurking on Simblr for a while now, but I finally decided to start posting because I want to be an actual part of the community and share my stuff, I just never quite worked up the courage to do it. Anyway, it'll probably be mostly gameplay-related posts mixed in with some aesthetic screenshots and possibly a lookbook here and there when I have the time. I've been taking screenshots and editing them for months now, and it would be nice to create a sort of digital archive for all of that so it's not just sitting in my folder. The picture above is actually part of a photo set I made earlier tonight that I'll probably finish editing and post in the next few days. It's honestly one of my favorite photo collections right now and I love how they all turned out, so I'm excited to put them up. I'm mostly maxis match with a little bit of mix, and I am wcif-friendly, I just might not always know exactly what cc I used because my mods folder is a disaster, but I'll do my best.

When I'm not playing the Sims, I'm usually studying or writing. I'm in college for Psychology (I won't psychoanalyze you, I promise), so classes take up a lot of my time and energy during the semester. I really like writing stories and poetry, but I'm also a big music lover, there are certain songs and artists that have kind of consumed my life. I also have ADHD, so to all my fellow besties who will get into the game and sit in the same slightly uncomfortable hunched-over position for like six hours trying to get the perfect pose setup, angle, and shader settings to come out of it with like ten screenshots that you find acceptable, me too.

Okay, I've been talking for too long at this point and I should probably wrap up, so I'd very much appreciate it if people interacted with this post and I'm so excited to make some new friends on here. If you want to be mutuals, you can follow me and my dms are open if you want to send me a message! ♡