#but despite it feeling “nice” i could never really find it in myself to agree with him

[sadkachow]

And Then It Is Monday - Why Sunday's plan did not (and could not) work

So normally I don't really make longer analysis posts, but I kept seeing people on social media outright supporting Sunday's actions in 2.2, and I wrote something out about why I personally think that Sunday's plan is wrong. I don't know if this is an issue with tumblr as well, given that the people I saw supporting him were on different forms of social media, but regardless.

Before I begin, I'd like to pose a reminder that the opinions in this are mine and mine alone. If you agree, awesome! If not, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, so long as you're respectful! I have no idea if this is well written or will make any logical sense, but here we go!

(Spoilers for the 2.2 Trailblazer quest under the cut, if that wasn't already obvious)

So the first thing to get off the table: I feel Sunday is a very sympathetic villain, but a villain nonetheless. I understand the people that sympathize with him. I do too, to an extent. He was raised on unhealthy ideals and the belief that he was a "religious figure," one that people looked up to. Other people were allowed to just be, but Sunday always had to be better. He loved his sister, and the people around him, and he wanted to make a better world for them.

But that does not excuse what he did. Making a 'better world' can never come at the cost of taking away people's free will, because that world will never be "better". That's where Sunday's plan falls apart.

Because, yes, there are shitty people in the world, and yes bad things happen. Would it be amazing if we could stop all the bad things from happening ever again, and make the world a much better place? Yes! It would! I would love to live in a world where I don't have to fear for my life and my freedom for an assortment of reasons! But that world doesn't exist--in real life or on Penacony--, and getting it to exist shouldn't be the result of subjugating and controlling other people, because that in and of itself is violence. Albeit a different kind of violence, but violence nonetheless.

Not to mention that things like Sunday's plan and the concept of forcing everyone to act a certain way just to fit this "better world" to me almost serves as a condemnation of human nature and of the very act of choice itself. Your better world starts by saying that some choices are bad, so those choices get taken away, but where does it end? What if someone in charge views a harmless choice as a bad one, and takes away that one in return? Does it stop there, or does it continue, until no one at all is allowed to make any decisions, except those in charge? Who, really, does that benefit?

Consequences for certain choices exist. Generally, society says murder is bad (except for specific circumstances such as self-defense, which technically at that point is no longer even considered murder (at least where I live, it may be different in other areas, but I'm basing this off of my own experience)), so there is a concrete consequence to people murdering people--assuming that they don't get away with it. It doesn't stop people from murdering people, because the liberty of choice is still there, but it shows that just because you can do something doesn't mean you should or that you will escape without consequence.

People are going to do bad things. That is, unfortunately, how humans are. But our responsibility lies in holding ourselves accountable and in promoting growth and healing. That is how you build a better world. Not trapping everyone inside a dream world without any care for their feelings or beliefs, but in getting people the help they need, in fostering a society of positive change and human connection.

And that is why, as "golden" as Sunday's dream may have seemed, it was never going to work. In the end, as the story quest shows, human will and the desire for freedom wins out in the end. When there's a will, there's a way.

[kassiekole22]

Can you do a Syzoth/Reptile x reader, about him telling the reader about things they should know about him & his reptilian form before they date each other? Thank you!!!

Are You Sure?

Picture lightly edited by me.

Description: It takes all the courage in the world to tell Syzoth how you really feel about him. But Syzoth isn't so sure that you can handle a Zaterran as a lover. So he decides to tell you everything you need to know, before taking your relationship to the next level... Warnings: Fluff, Pining, A Small Bit Of NSFW. (For brief mention of breeding.) Word Count: 1.4k A/N: I am sooooo sorry this took so long for me to finish! I've been dealing with some health issues and other personal struggles recently so I've been having a hard time getting things done quickly. But I'm getting better so hopefully that will change soon. I want any other anons to know that I still fully intend on finishing your requests and to other readers, please don't let this discourage you from sending any requests. I love hearing all of your ideas! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this fic. 🖤 MasterList: 🖤 Kassie's Angels: @lorebite, @mornandil, @bihansthot, @katiralovely. (If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know in the comments! 🖤)

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I slumped down under a shady tree after practicing fighting for a solid two hours. Lord Liu Kang told me the monks would be harsh, but I never expected training to be just as hard as it was. So I sat — the back of my head hitting the bark of the tree as it fell back onto my shoulders — and I let out a tired sigh. My eyes began to fall shut but then the wrestling of tree branches jerked me right awake as I let out a startled gasp. I looked up to find the source of this sudden commotion only to see Syzoth — in his human form — staring down at me from a high branch with a cheeky smile stretching his lips.

"You scared me!" I laughed as I reached an arm up to swat at his feet, which hung down from the branch he sat on.

After responding with a huff of laughter, Syzoth jumped down beside me. He sat down on the ground so close to where I was that I subconsciously held my breath, now very weary of moving in his presence. But not from fear — because it was the closest I had ever been to Syzoth before. The soft touch of his skin touching mine when our elbows brushed together, being engulfed in a cloud of his natural scent, even being able to hear his breath was enough to get my heart beat racing. To say I liked the man was quite an understatement. In my eyes, he was beautiful; I just wish I knew how to tell him that.

"It's so nice out here," he breathed before letting out a relaxed sigh. "I could sit out here for hours."

"Yeah, me too." I agreed, looking in every direction but his. Of course, I wasn't subtle about it — despite trying to be — and he noticed instantly.

"Are you ok?" He asked as his tone dipped softer with more concern.

I simply nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired."

I finally mustered up the strength to look back at him and make eye contact. But as soon as my eyes met those pale green ones, I could feel my cheeks burn with a sudden heat of desire. The expression that grew on his face was much like his tone moments ago: concerned and worried.

'Shit! He notices!'

"Are you alright, (Y/N)?" He asked while placing a hand gently on my own. The sudden contact did not help my rosy completion and I felt my skin burn even more.

I quickly pulled away and nodded my head, "Yes, yes — I'm fine." I assured him. "I just got too much sun today."

It was a good lie and I just prayed that Syzoth was as gullible as I had hoped. He did not answer me after that and for a good moment, peaceful silence had fallen over us and I was glad.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and finally felt myself relax again. Looking up at the sky, I noticed that not a single cloud covered it, allowing the sun to beam down upon us. The birds chirped happily and the butterflies fluttered in the air — watching them helped all of my stresses melt away and bring me to peace. It truly was a perfect day. I let my eyes flutter shut as a cool breeze blew passed us, and then I felt completely comfortable in my surroundings.

That was until Syzoth's voice broke the long-lasting silence...

"(Y/N)," His voice came out serious as he spoke. His sudden change in tone instantly caught my attention and I turned to face the man. "I have a question that I must ask—"

"Ok — what is it?"

"Do... Do you have feelings for me?" He asked hesitantly and almost... Shyly?

I froze as soon as the words came out of his mouth and I instantly felt my cheeks burn with intense embarrassment. The shock I felt was overwhelming and I had absolutely no idea how to respond. I just sat there, thinking deeply about a million things at once.

'Does he know? Am I really that obvious? There's no way! I mean, I've done so well to hide it!... Haven't I?

As humiliating as it was, I knew I couldn't keep the truth from him for any longer. So after heaving a deep sigh to gain just a little more confidence, I spoke my confession: "Yes, Syzoth — I do have feelings for you."

He stared at me with a blank and not so surprised expression for a moment. I felt as if I was under a burning spotlight while under his gaze. Finally — after a moment that felt like a lifetime — he let out a soft sigh. It didn't seem necessarily stressed or disappointed in anyway — it was just a normal huff of air.

"Are you sure? Because — as you know — I'm no ordinary individual. I'm not human like yo—"

"I don't care, Syzoth!" I cut him off as I raised my voice slightly. I didn't mean to come off aggressive in any way — I was just eager to tell him how I felt. I exhaled slowly and lowered my voice to a more calm pitch. "I like you for you; that stuff doesn't matter."

He looked at me for a moment, almost like he was reading over my words in his mind. Something told me by his expression that he did not believe me and would need further convincing. And unfortunately, I was right.

"No, (Y/N). You do not understand." He heaved a deep breath and shifted so he was facing me more before continuing, "There is still a lot about me that you do not know. Things you are not prepared for—"

"Well... Prepare me!" I basically demanded with an enthusiastic smile and he raised a brow at me for a moment. He seemed almost hesitant to let me into his world but eventually he did nod in agreement.

"Ok... For instance, our diet mainly consists of raw flesh of animals and humans. We can eat cooked foods but we don't prefer it." He paused for a moment to check my facial expression before continuing, "We shed our skin once a year. It's a very long and uncomfortable process and I will become very irritable at that time. I like warmth and do not do well in the cold — I can't handle it, in fact. I also have to keep my skin hydrated and... There's also mating season... Um..."

His eyes averted away from mine as he shifted uncomfortably on the ground while letting out a cough. I blushed at the thought of this "mating season" he mentioned, but tried my hardest to keep my composure for his and my sake.

"I may appear human sometimes, but do know that my reptilian nature still lingers within. Are you sure you want to engage in a romantic relationship with someone like myself?"

I smiled warmly at the man sitting before me and took his big hands in my own, massaging the backs of them with my thumbs to sooth him. It was obvious he was nervous and I didn't want him to be — he deserved to be comfortable with someone for once in his life and I was going to make sure that I was that person.

"Like I said before: I like you for you. And I would be more than happy to engage in a romantic relationship with you — that is, of course, if you want to engage in one with me?"

I gazed up at him through my lashes with hope blossoming in my heart for the first time that day. I felt his hands grow sweaty in my own and the look of concern on his face remained, causing a little bit of that hope to die off.

But then his worried expression melted away with a fond smile as his cheeks turned a faint tint of pink. He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against mine — not necessarily molding them into a kiss, but just holding them there. So I decided to take charge of the situation and pressed mine into his in the way a kiss would be formed. And happily, he kissed back.

I knew that loving a Zaterran would be a challenge, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My heart longed for him and now that I had him, that's all that mattered to me. I had finally found the one for me and I knew I'd be happy as long as he was at my side — this I was sure of.

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[koolades-world]

Spellbound Secrets

prologue: calm before the storm

synopsis: The House of Lamentation caught fire one night, and you were the only one they recovered from the wreckage. The brothers were in the house as well when you went to bed that night, but they were nowhere to be found. The pact marks are faded, and seem to be getting more and more indefinite by the day. You and Solomon get to investigating but oddly enough, nobody can seem to remember the missing brothers. It’s up to you, with the help of Solomon, to find your beloved demons, lest you never see them again.

navigation: playlist | prologue (you are here!) | chapter one (coming next saturday)

authors note: this was postponed because a roach haha, but! it’s finally here and I’m excited to share the product of my hard work with you all! what do we think of the banner? made it myself! i think it’s nice but I’ll probably hate it in a couple of years haha. please do check out the playlist i made too. more explanation will be made on the post about it :) special thanks to @aaliyahxxvi and @rcbsbb for beta reading each and every chapter for me, as well as being awesome friends <3

While your several years of living in the Devildom came with its challenges, you wouldn't trade it for anything. It was hard to adjust to, and it felt like every day came with a new hurtle for you to overcome. From almost having your soul stolen, to almost failing several classes, to almost dying, you'd seen it all. But, every time, the key word was almost. You always made it out relatively unscathed, to the point where it was a running joke between you and the brothers, some more so than others. (Lucifer didn't find it very funny.)

You really couldn't ask for more. Despite how things seemed early on in your stay, you'd really begun to enjoy everything about the life you hadn't expected, no less asked for. There was so much about living you truly looked forward to now.

Every morning, you knew to expect Mammon either in your room already because he spent the night over, or barging in as soon as he was awake so you could get ready together. More often than not, in the middle of getting ready, Asmo would burst into the room and ask your opinion on what to wear that day. He and Mammon would bicker and if you didn't end the fighting, they'd disperse on their own once they realized you'd walked off. Lucifer wasn't a morning demon, which took you longer to learn that you'd thought, still took the time out of his morning to brew you a cup of coffee.

Every afternoon, you enjoyed a tea with Satan while you read or did some homework together. Sometimes, you didn't say a single word to each other, but just being together was comforting enough. Then, you'd spent a while with Levi, playing whatever game he'd selected for that day. If it was a game you couldn't play together, you'd happily talk about your day while the other played the game. Finally, once it started to get later in the day and the Devildom began to cool down, you accompanied Beel on his second workout of the day. After a long day, you snuggled with Belphie and unwound. As much as he protested about it, he made a great pillow.

You always had a movie night at least once a week which everyone was required to attend; the brothers didn't have it in them to say no. More often than not, the members of Purgatory Hall and the Demon Lord's Castle (if Barbatos permitted it) came over to join you. It was just a fun excuse to get together and enjoy each other's company.

The routine was comforting, to say the least. You'd all grown into it. You felt safe, and content.

That night had started and ended just like any other. It had been Asmo's turn to cook dinner, and as part of a deal the two of you had made together, he'd agreed to make your favorite. In exchange, he made you promise to reserve one evening just for him. Lingering in the kitchen while he cooked was one of your favorite pastimes.

That night, you were almost certain you feel asleep with three demons in your room. Mammon had claimed your right side, as he usually did, which left your other side up for grabs. Satan laid on your left with a book in hand, one you recognized as one you'd gotten together in the human world, and a little reading light. Levi was at the end of the bed, on his Devilswitch. You and Mammon had briefly argued over the remote, but in the end, you selected what you watched even though he had the remote. You chided Satan for having the light on, to which he apologized for and tried his best to keep it out of your eyes. He didn't move though, because he wasn't willing to give up his spot. Levi didn't cause too much of a disturbance, only the occasional exclamations about whatever he was playing.

It wasn't anything out of the ordinary: how things should be. You looked forward to tomorrow. You could already picture what the next day held. You had plans with Satan to head to a new bookstore at the edge of town, and Beel wanted to go on an evening hike and picnic in a nearby park, to which you weren't going to refuse.

If only things were to play out as you imagined.

You weren't sure exactly what time it was when you woke up, but it was blistering, and you couldn't identify a reason why. Your sheets were dangling off the bed, likely the doing of Mammon. You fan was at the highest speed, but it actually only seemed to be making the heat worse. Even stranger was the fact that not a single one of the demons you'd fallen asleep with at your side was present. Not Satan, not Levi, and even not Mammon. In your sleepy stupor, you peeled off the fluffy jacket you were wearing in an attempt to cool off, leaving you in a thinner undershirt. As you plodded around the room, you saw they were nowhere in sight. Their belongings were scattered about, as if they were only going to be gone for a short amount of time and might be back any minute.

Perhaps you might've gone back to bed if you didn't hear the sound of a voice you thought you recognized through the door, accompanied by a muffled roaring. The doorknob burned to the touch, waking you up fully. You wrung out your hand and hissed, cradling it close to your body. It would surely result in a burn later, but for now, that was the least of your concern. The smell of smoke flooded your senses. The was a fire happening in the House of Lamentation, and you were trapped in your room with no way out.

You retreated back to your bed, ripping it apart in search of your D.D.D. Once you found it, you struggled to dial the Devildom equivalent of 911. Thankfully, the call went through and if nobody else had already made a call, they would be on their way.

"666, what is the address of your emergency?" The operator on the other end of the line spoke calmly and clearly.

"The House of Lamentation. The big, haunted creepy house. On Hollow Avenue. I think my house is on fire. I'm trapped in my bedroom." You kept your voice as even as you could so she could understand you.

"The fire department is on their way, sweetie. Are there any other exits?" You could hear the sound of the operator typing.

"No. The only way out is my door, and I burnt my hand on the doorknob. I know you're not supposed to open the door." You weren't sure when you had begun to shake, and struggled to hold the phone up to your ear.

"Alright, put a towel underneath the door to block smoke. Stay low to the ground if you can. What floor are you on?" You could hear the information you were giving to the operator being relayed to others. Doing as she asked, you threw open your closet door and shoved as many towels as you could between the door and the floor.

"First. I'm on the first floor. First floor. I'm not the only one who lives here though. They might be trapped too. I heard someone else before." You thought you heard someone yelling when you'd first approached the door, but you became quickly preoccupied with your own matters. You wished you hadn't.

"Don't panic. Someone is coming to rescue you. I'll stay on the line with you, alright?" She reassured you.

"Thank you." There was a slight pause in your conversation, so you continued to speak. "What's going to happen if they can't get to me in time?" A sort of morbid curiosity crossed your mind. You didn't want to find out, but the thought lingered.

"You're all going to be alright. Talk to me. What's your name?" You didn't know much about the tactics of dispatchers, but maybe she was trying to keep you calm.

"Mc. I'm Mc. I'm one of the human exchange students." You stumbled over your own name. You had no clue what to do besides answer her questions. You felt useless just standing in one spot, but were rooted there.

"How many other people are in the house?" She remained calm, and you took a deep breath, so you could continue to answer her questions. You could feel the panic creeping in and begin envelop you, not unlike the smoke you were trying to block out.

"There should be seven others. A family. I don't know where they are. They were in my room, but they're gone." She probably already knew who the brothers were, and who you were, but you couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of your mouth.

"What are you wearing?" She asked you.

"It's really hot in here, miss." You were quickly growing lightheaded, and drenched in sweat.

"I know. I'm sorry. What are you wearing?" She repeated herself.

"Um, a white tank top and some blue checkered pajama pants." Neither article of clothing belonged to you. The pants were Lucifer's and the tank top you'd stolen from Mammon. It was the one thing about the situation that managed to get you to think a little more positively.

"What's the charge on your device, Mc?" Her using your name shocked you a little. It took you a second to realize you'd just given her your name, which is how she knew.

"It's getting low." Because of the brothers staying over in your room, you never had the chance to plug it in before you went to sleep. Mammon had told you he would do it, but it seems you'd both forgotten.

"What percent?" She asked.

"Twenty-nine." You hoped the battery would last long enough.

"Don't hang up. Help will be there shortly." You tried to respond, but it felt as if all the breath had been knocked out of you. You felt as if your legs were going to give way, so you took a seat on the edge of your bed.

"Miss, I don't feel good." Sweat rolled down your forehead and would've gone into your eyes if you didn't swipe it away, which was growing more and more difficult by the second. The heat was agonizing and you almost felt like you were melting.

"Keep talking to me. How old are you?" When you didn't respond, the operator prompted you again. "Mc? Are you still there?"

You tried to continue to speak to her, but you couldn't form the words you wanted to. Nothing came out correctly. She continued to speak to you, but you just wanted to lay down. She grew quieter the more time passed. The room had started spinning at some point. The urge to close your eyes grew stronger and stronger, so you told yourself just a moment wouldn't hurt.

The next thing you remembered was waking up in what had to be a hospital room. You didn't recognize anything in the room, and everything was unusually bright. Whoever had last been in your room had tucked you in carefully in your hospital bed. You could see from your chest down, but your arms were sitting on to of the covers. An IV drip was in your left arm, and from the elbow down, your right arm was wrapped in bandages. The TV in the room was on to your favorite Devildom cooking channel. It was an episode you'd seen before, so you didn't bother to focus on it. Besides the sound of the television you could hear hushed whispering and shuffling from the hallway, and the constant beeping of the machine connected to you.

As you were taking in your surroundings, the door just out of your line of sight opened. You expected it to be one of the brothers, or a nurse maybe, but it was Solomon. It was nice to see a familiar face regardless of who it belonged to.

"Mc! You're awake. I'll call the nurse." With a smile befitting of the gods, he moved to leave the room again.

"Wait, please." He paused with his hand on the doorknob. "What happened?" Solomon backtracked and pulled up a chair to sit beside your bed. You stared at him expectantly, as he thought about, presumably, what to say next.

"The House of Lamentation caught on fire, but thankfully, you were alright. You got some burns but the doctor says it could've been much worse. You've been out for about a day now. How much do you remember?" He flexed his fingers.

"Not much, but I think that's a good thing. How are the brothers? I hope they're doing well." You expected Solomon to just answer the question, but instead, he cocked an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" At first, you just assumed he was kidding, but this was an odd thing to be joking about.

"You know, the seven brothers? They're the avatars of sin? They should've been in the house. Are they fine or did they get hurt in the fire too?" When he only stared at you blankly, you didn't know how to react. "You're scaring me, Solomon. This isn't funny." You thought back over what you'd said. It all made sense in your head, but something just wasn't clicking for Solomon.

"Who are 'the brothers?'"

[lucy90712]

could write about rúben is jealous at your used to be uni crush when you accidentally met him at party rúben ended up being protective and a bit cranky (or clingy), fluff at the end. thanks <3

WC: 2.4k After a very long gruelling season everything is finally done and Ruben and the rest of the Man City team have a lot to celebrate after winning the champions league to complete the treble. This season has been hard on everyone including me as Ruben has been so busy and stressed that there was a period of time where we barely saw each other and whenever we did all we did was argue. Thankfully we made it through that time and now we are closer than ever which I'm so glad about as I was really worried I was going to lose him but that's all behind us now. 

Tonight we get to celebrate everything the team has achieved as Jack invited Ruben and I out to a nearby club to enjoy a night off. Ruben isn't usually one to go clubbing but this time he seemed more than happy to go as I think he wanted to go out and enjoy himself after everything he's worked hard for this year. He deserves it too Ruben has been so dedicated to the team the entire year and I've never seen him work quite this hard which is saying something as he always gives 100% to anything he does. As much as it's been difficult at times it's been amazing to be involved in this incredible year for the team and for Ruben. 

Despite agreeing to this a few days ago Ruben neglected to tell me until this afternoon but luckily for him I'm not high maintenance at all so I'm happy to get ready in an hour if I have to. Straight after Ruben decided that I needed to know about our plans I ran upstairs to shower as he dragged me to the gym this morning and I've been too tired to move since. I took a nice long shower washing my hair and shaving so I felt good as you can't look good if you don't feel good. By the time I was done Ruben was in our bedroom shirtless looking at his wardrobe to find a top to wear which was a beautiful sight as not only does he look amazing without a shirt on but I absolutely love his concentration face and that's the expression he had looking at all of his clothes. He didn't notice me to begin with but then I stepped on the one creaky floorboard and of course that caught his attention and his concentration face changed into a smile. 

"Seeing as you're here do you want to help me pick an outfit?" I asked Ruben 

"Of course I do now what criteria do I have to meet" he laughed 

"Well it's not cold as it's summer so warmth doesn't need to be considered so it is completely up to you" I said 

"Well then I think you have to wear this one" he said pulling out a red dress which happens to be his favourite 

"Ooh tonight must be a special celebration if I you want me to wear this" I teased 

"I just want to see my beautiful girlfriend looking and feeling her best" he said 

"Thank you babe" I said

"Plus I feel like making some guys jealous that you're all mine and not theirs" he smirked as he left to go into the bathroom 

I got myself ready in record time with a bit of help from Ruben in putting my jewellery on and zipping up my dress. He also did my shoes up for me which I said wasn't necessary but he did it anyway. With that we were both ready to go so Ruben drove us to the club as he's not going to drink he did that after the champions league win and made me promise to never let him drink again. I'm not a huge drinker either but on occasion I will have a few and I plan for tonight to be one of those occasions as I think I deserved to have some fun plus Jack will probably have me doing shots within a few minutes of our arrival anyway. 

As soon as we arrived Ruben led me over to the vip section of the club where everyone that was coming was already sat. Straight way the other wives and girlfriends came over and took me over to their table to catch up as we haven't seen each other in ages. Ruben brought me a drink a few minutes after we had sat down but after that he left me to talk to my friends. That's something I love about Ruben he doesn't have to be by my side at all times he's happy to let me have fun by myself but somehow he's always there when I need him. 

I enjoyed catching up with the girls but I wanted to spend some time with Ruben so I collected him and made him come to the dance floor with me. Neither of us are great dancers but I always enjoy dancing with him so we always dance together and just forget about what anyone else thinks of us. His arms went straight round my waist and I rested mine on his shoulders as we both swayed to the music. Ruben had a devilish smile on his face as we were dancing together and he made it very clear what he wanted in the way he started kissing my neck and gripping my waist tighter but I'm not going to give in that easy. 

After a while of dancing the both of us wanted a break so we stood by the bar so we could have some space. As we were stood there I thought I saw someone I recognised then he turned around and my suspicions were confirmed. It was a guy I met while I was in university we were friends throughout my studies but I had a huge crush on him so when we finished uni and he brought his girlfriend to graduation we drifted apart and I got on with my own life. We haven't seen each other since graduation and it's been years since I've even thought about him so it was weird to see him in a random club in Manchester. Seeing as I studied in London it felt very random but that being said I always love seeing people from uni as I feel like I've changed so much since then and I love hearing how everyone's life has unfolded. 

"What are you looking at?" Ruben asked 

"Oh there's just a guy over there that I went to uni with" I said 

"Which one?" He asked

"The blonde guy Joey I can't believe I used to have a crush on him" I laughed 

"Wait you had a crush on that guy" Ruben questioned 

"Yeah a huge crush but he brought his girlfriend to graduation which crushed me so that ended that" I said

Ruben went to say something else but before he could Joey noticed me and made his way over with a smile on his face. He greeted me with a hug before he introduced himself to Ruben before shaking his hand. Ruben is usually more than happy to meet people new people especially people I know from before I met him but for some reason he just seemed off. As soon as he let go of joey's hand his arm went back around my waist almost protectively and I could see that his jaw was tensed. It's so unlike Ruben that I had no idea what was wrong with him I mean surely he can't be jealous I've been with him for 3 nearly 4 years now and I’ve not seen Joey for even longer than that. It's not like I still have any feelings it was a stupid crush anyway he was just the only guy that had ever paid me any attention at the time so that's why I liked him so much. 

"It's been so long now have you been?" I asked 

"I've been good I just got a new job here in Manchester so I'm out with a few new coworkers what have you been up to I feel like I haven't seen anything of you since graduation" Joey said 

"Life's been good busy but good I got a job here in Manchester straight out of uni which is how I met Ruben and since life has been pretty crazy with traveling to games all over the place" I said hoping mentioning Ruben would make him less tense 

"Thats amazing I knew you would do great things you were always the smartest one in the class" Joey said 

"Also congrats on the treble mate it's an insane achievement" he added 

"Thanks" Ruben replied rather coldly 

I ignored his attitude and kept chatting to Joey as I'm probably not going to see him again for another few years after this as that's just how life is. The longer I kept talking the more Ruben moved his arms around my waist and held me tighter to his chest. It was so weird seeing Ruben act like this he's usually never the jealous or overly protective type he only ever got jealous one time when this guy was flirting with me before we were officially dating. I could almost feel Ruben's dislike for Joey and I wasn't even looking at him which is also weird as he always tries to get along with everyone he meets as he's just they type of person but clearly in this situation the Ruben I know and love has disappeared. For some reason it was making me feel slightly angry that Ruben couldn't even attempt to see that Joey's a nice guy instead he has to embarrass me by acting like an asshole when all I want is to portray him as the loving boyfriend he really is. 

Joey offered to buy us drinks and seeing as I'd only had 1 so far I accepted and of course Ruben declined but again I could feel his anger at me for even accepting. At this point I was completely fed up with his attitude so I ignored him and his many attempts to get my attention or stop me talking to Joey. I know this will probably cause an argument later but I'm simply just catching up with an old friend who I haven't seen in years and I'm not going to let Ruben ruin that just because he's jealous or whatever he's feeling. 

It was lovely catching up with Joey but after a while he had to get back to his new co workers and of course Ruben took his chance to say we should get back to his teammates before quickly dragging me back to where everyone else was stood. Seeing as he'd let go of his death grip on me I managed to slip away from him and go back to the girls ass I needed their advice and also a bit of time to calm down before I yell at Ruben and say things I don't mean. The girls were really helpful as they told me that Ruben was being over the top but they helped me see his side of the situation by saying that I wouldn't like it if Ruben made me talk to girls he liked before me. I understood what they were saying and it made me feel a bad so I decided it was time to leave to go and talk to Ruben. 

Once I suggested we leave Ruben was more than happy to go so I followed him back out to the car where he seemed to be a lot happier and more relaxed than he was earlier. He held my hand and we sung along to music together which is a lot more like the Ruben I know and love although there was still a bit of unresolved tension in the air but soon that will all be resolved. When we made it home both of us changed into more comfortable clothes and settled down on the sofa with a movie on but I quickly took the remote and paused the movie so we could talk. 

"Is everything alright?" Ruben asked 

"Everything's fine I just think we need to talk about what happened earlier at the club" I said 

"It's fine y/n I'm over it" he said pretty unconvincingly 

"You might say you're over it but I still think we should talk about it so first I want to say I'm sorry for putting you in that position I know I wouldn't like it if you did the same to me I just saw him and wanted to catch up as it's been long but I'm sorry for that" I explained 

"Now you can tell me what's on your mind" I said 

"It's not necessarily the fact that you used to have a crush on him it's just he's so different to me I mean he's blonde with blue eyes and I'm the opposite of that and you said you had a huge crush on him and that just made me question why you love me" he said 

"Oh Ruben I only had a crush on him as he was the first guy to ever be kind to me but then I met you I realised that it was just a crush and nothing more as my feelings for you were so different to what I felt for Joey it was love I love you and only you Ruben" I said 

"That really means a lot to hear because I felt exactly the same when I met you I'm sorry I got so jealous it was silly of me but believe me I won't ever forget what you just said to me" he smiled 

"Good because I want you to know that I love you at all times" I said 

He leaned in to give me a kiss but once our lips connected he pushed me down onto the sofa and began tickling my sides. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing even if I wanted to so I had to pull away from the kiss which made Ruben chuckle too. Any tension or bad feelings were gone within and instant after that and we were back to being completely in love with each other which is how I always want us to be. 

[mvlders222]

hii, could you write about Natalie scatorccio and a reader with anxiety problems?

I know it's a sensitive topic and I will understand if you don't want to write about this.

(sorry if I don't express myself well, English is not my native language)

a/n; hi!! thank you for the request. i hope i wrote this well and to your liking. reader's gender is female. i have a handful of people in my life with clinical anxiety, but i also did my research before diving into this topic. if the way i describe these feelings isn't accurate, please let me know so i can edit/rewrite this fic.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

pairing ; natalie scatorccio x fem!reader

wordcount ; 1.1k

summary ; nat invites you to one more party, and you typically never accept. she reasons that this would be the last one before your guys’ flight tomorrow for nationals. this however doesn’t seem to go as planned…

warnings ; anxiety, overthinking, sorta angst to fluff, alcohol, underage drinking, mention of smoking (let me know if there's any more!)

You and Natalie had been dating for two months now. And you knew each other even earlier than that. But throughout your time knowing her, she had never not invited you to any event whether it be a smoke sesh or a bonfire.

And you had always turned her down. This wasn’t your way of rejecting her, but it wasn’t exactly your crowd. You could only conjure up the most ridiculous and almost impossible situations that would happen because you just showed up in a social setting.

Your guys’ first date in your backyard where you guys shared a pizza and your first kiss (probably not a good kiss with the pizza). The point was that it was in the privacy of your own home.

You know Nat would never force you to do anything you wouldn’t want to do. But considering how she felt going to these parties without you, you decided you finally show. So she came to your house minutes before the party to help you prepare.

There you stood in front of your mirror, Natalie behind you looking at your guys’ reflection. She had her hands on your shoulders and smiled at you through the mirror.

She was dressed in a leather jacket and worn in Doc Martins. She had a red pleated skirt and ripped fishnets and a plethora of rings adorned her fingers. She had smudged eyeliner around her eyes but it was meant to look like that.

You were simply wearing a long sleeve since it was chilled out. A pair of thrifted jeans that were your favorite pair, despite them already being worn.

“Are you ready?” She smiled at you and you nodded. She kissed your cheek and grabbed your hand to drag you out of your bedroom and your house.

It wasn’t a far walk, just further out into the woods so you both walked there, hand in hand.

“Have you ever been to one of these before?” Nat smirked. It wasn’t mean, it was a genuine question. “You just never wanna come with me when I offer.”

“Not really to any parties. I’ve been to the football games but I never have any fun there,” you shrugged. You were the type to stay in and enjoy a movie, rather than agree with people who speak in majority filler words. It was exhausting to try and find any way to talk to these people without absolutely crumbling.

“I thought it’d be nice though. Since we leave tomorrow,” you smiled. You looked at the dead leaves on the ground as the two of you walked together.

As you got closer and closer to the bonfire, you could see the light and hear a mix of chatter, laughter, and music. A heavy feeling started to settle in your stomach, but you tried to push it down because what would Nat think if you wanted to turn around?

When you started to catch up with people and run into the couples sucking faces, it was like a middle school dance. People were spread out across the woods, but no one was dancing to the music. All talking in their small groups, holding red solo cups full of something.

“I’m gonna go find a keg.” Natalie let your hand go and walked away from you, walking through different circles of people to find a buzz.

You tried following her, but her trail was too spontaneous. She would push people apart from each other, even when they were invested in a full-on conversation. She would split trees and walk through bushes.

So afraid of losing her, you weren’t paying attention to the others around you, mumbling different “sorry”s to several strangers. Maybe you had been paying too much attention to the people around you and that’s how you lost your girlfriend in the crowds.

You couldn’t ask anyone for help, they seemed to look at you like you snuck onto earth. Whether it was the anxiety or the plethora of circles you’d made searching for Natalie, your nausea was starting to set in.

Your stomach was tied in knots and you suddenly felt like you couldn’t move. Your breathing became shallow. The lights were too bright and the music was too loud, it was hard to even think in a setting like this.

An unexpected hand grasped at your shoulder and tugged you around. Trying not to fall over your own feet, you grabbed at anything physical in front of you.

Your eyes came into focus. “Natty!” You let out what felt like the last breath you’d ever take. You pulled her toward you in a great embrace. You felt a splash at your feet and arms wrap around you hesitantly.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” she apologized earnestly. You both pulled away slightly. “I completely forgot and I feel like a complete jerk-“

“You dropped your beer,” you interrupted her. Your monotone made her smile and laugh. It was something so simple that didn’t compare to the situation that was happening.

“I hadn’t even noticed.” She smiled and pecked the corner of your lips. She looked down at your hand and held it gently with her own, toying with the tips of your fingers. Looking back up to meet your eyes, her face became soft. “Do you wanna go?”

You took a deep breath and looked at her as if she had confused you for someone else. “No, it’s okay! But if you wanna stay. I’ll just go–”

She quickly shushed you and held your face in her hands. “Shh, baby… I love you more than some… party.” She giggled at the situation.

“Are you sure? Have you even talked to your friends yet?” All of your questions made her shut you up again, pressing her lips to yours, trying to get you to stop mumbling into your kiss.

She pulled away and gave you a knowing look. You just replied with a small smile on your lips. Natalie furrowed her brows as she licked her lips once over. “Is that cherry?”

“Yeah, it came in, like, a pack of four.” You giggled in response to her behavior.

“That gives us one more reason to leave,” She moved her hands to grab yours, pulling you away from the rest of the party. “We have to try all of them. If they’re as good as they taste, ya know.”

[tojiscumdumpster]

CHAPTER TEN - READER

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 I shouldn’t be nervous. I’ve been on plenty of first dates before, so my dating life isn’t completely non-existent. It’s just been a while. But the men that I have gone out with haven’t been Toji Fushiguro. 

 Okay, so maybe I am a bit nervous. 

 Despite all the small interactions me and Toji had these past two weeks, I still find myself overthinking about our date. 

 I mean, everything should go fine, yes? What difference would it make if this wasn’t considered a date and just another spontaneous meeting? 

 It’s not, Y/N. 

 I know, but it feels different because we agreed to get to know each other. This man, that I barely know yet feels awfully familiar, manages to put butterflies in my stomach. He kisses me in a way that feels light, and holds me possessively to make me feel like I’m his. And I may be looking ahead of myself, but I wouldn’t mind if he considers me that. 

 Something about Toji feels right, like I’m almost positive everything will go well between us the more we open up. But Toji isn’t the only one who feels skeptical about this either. 

 The last time I felt this quickly about someone, I ended up getting my heart broken. That someone being, Nanami. 

 And knowing me, if I fall in love, I fall hard. . . I want that same sentiment. Nanami gave it to me, but it wasn’t consistent and it didn’t last. 

 Toji? Well, my heart might be taking a risk if I end up falling in love with a single dad who’s a widow. Let’s also not forget I’m his son’s high school reading teacher. 

 A lot of what ifs, maybes, and mishaps can happen between us. However, I’m willing to see what happens. 

 I can’t allow my hesitancy to prevent me from trying because there’s just something about Toji Fushiguro that I get enough of. 

 While I was finishing up getting ready, I heard a knock at my door. 

 “Seven-thirty. Oh, he’s early,” I mutter to myself, looking at the time. 

 Before I go to answer, I take a quick look in the mirror. 

 Toji didn’t tell me where we’re going or what we’re doing, but I took the hint of him saying I need energy to not wear anything too formal or heels. 

 So my outfit is simple. 

 I feel really pretty wearing a white ruffle crop top that sits off my shoulders and pairing it with a russet brown high slit skirt. 

 I kept my makeup natural, but went a little bolder with my lips by coating them with a brown gloss. And my hair? The wash-and-go I did a few days ago is still on my side, so I just fluffed out my curls with a pick. 

 I was too busy admiring myself in the mirror, I almost forgot Toji was waiting for me.

 Quickly I grabbed my purse and phone to answer the door and I couldn’t prevent my mouth from spreading into a smile upon seeing him. 

 Can this man get any finer? 

 I’ve never dated a man where we had a huge age difference, let alone twelve years, but it seems like I was missing out because who knew forty-two could look that good. 

 “It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Fushiguro.” Immediately his masculine, amber and woody musk scent permeates my senses. Then, I take in his appearance. 

 How his physique fills out the white sweater and black jeans he’s wearing makes me wet beyond measure. Especially when I know what he looks like underneath. Well, at least not all underneath. 

 But it looks like I’m not alone with admiring how one looks. 

 Toji hasn’t said a word to me. He barely acknowledged that I spoke to him, however, the look in his eyes…how he’s staring at me, studying my body and what I’m wearing…

 If he keeps looking at me like that, I can guarantee you I’ll say fuck this date and pull him into my apartment. 

 I’m very tempted, too, since it’s been a while. 

 “I’m assuming I dressed up nice?” I asked suggestively. 

 “You’re beautiful.” Not you look, but you are. 

 His admission makes my cheeks hot. 

 “Thank you,” I replied while tucking a curl behind my ear. “You came early, I see.” 

 “Hope that’s okay? Just didn’t feel like waiting another thirty minutes.”

 It’s more than okay. 

 “You’re fine.” 

 He gives me a small smile. “Ready to go?”

 “Yeah, let me just grab my things-” If I said I wasn’t nervous, I would be lying because I already have my purse and phone in my hand. “Actually, never mind. I have everything I need.” He gives me a curt nod and waits for me to lock my door. 

 As we’re walking toward the elevator, Toji’s hand rests on the curve of my back like it’s second nature to him. And it could just be the natural thing to do, guiding me through the halls, despite this being my apartment building. 

 But it’s those small gestures that are most effective to me. 

 I show little to no reaction to what his hand on my bare skin does to me. How it transfers warmth to my body and spreads goosebumps across it. It feels good. 

 Territorial and protective. 

 I’m not sure where this night with Toji will take me, but I’m ready to see. 

 Never in a million years would I ever deem Toji Fushiguro to be the type to plan a picnic. Yet here we are. 

 For a man that claims he’s not looking for a relationship, he sure is making it hard for me to not fall in love with him, especially in this setting. How the sky is a perfect shade of midnight that’s accompanied by the stars and moon, makes it more intimate. 

 The night isn’t too cold. A soft breeze and lingering heat from earlier today. 

 Though, what’s making this scenery better is Toji’s pale complexion that contrasts perfectly with the time of day. To think his rich shade of green hues would be complimented the most in the sun, here I am at night being proved wrong. 

 “A picnic, Mr. Fushiguro? Seems pretty intimate. Don’t you think?” I opted to break the silence because if I stared at this ridiculously attractive man, he would’ve noticed if he hadn’t already. 

 A small smile curves on his face. “I don’t like being around people when I don’t have to.”

 “Oh. Is that your only reason?”

 “No, I wanted you alone to myself because I don’t need a fucking server in our faces every two seconds asking if we need refills or a dessert.” 

 Alone time with you is what I’m worried about. 

 In more ways than one, Toji has shown me how territorial he can be, and it does not work in my favor when I happen to be turned on by it. 

 I clear my throat. “Hm, I see.”

 “Besides, pretty sure my cooking tastes much better than whatever restaurant I would’ve taken you to.” I watch him unpack a few bento boxes and plastic cups to fill our drinks with. He opted for apple cider and I’m completely only with that, given the fact that Toji doesn’t drink. 

 He continues, “I hope you don’t mind Japanese food.”

 “Absolutely not. That’s the only thing I miss about my ex, and one of the many things I miss about living in Japan. The amount of cuisines I had access to,” I tell him. “It’s so fresh and savory.”

 While I ramble about my love for his culture’s food, I notice a tick in his jaw and his blank expression. Am I…

 “Sorry, am I talking too much?”

 “No,” he deadpans. 

 “Why the sudden change-”

 “Your ex. This is the second time you brought him up. On top of that, you said you miss him.”

 It completely slipped my mind that I have mentioned Nanami twice in my passing conversation with Toji. 

 Way to freaking blow it, Y/N. You haven’t had a relationship with anyone else in years and here you go bringing up your ex-fiancé while you’re on a date.

 Has dating always been this nerve wrecking?

 “I didn’t mean to-”

 “Make me jealous?” He interjects. Those were not the words I was going to say. 

 “No? Why would I try to? And why would you be?”

 “Why would I be jealous of another fucker experiencing you?” He asks sarcastically. “Miss L /N, I’m sure you can figure that out.”

 He’s… jealous? There’s no way this should be turning me on right now, but of course my thighs subtly rubbing together couldn’t make it more evident.

 “I’ll be more cautious.”

 The tension and dead silence between us is thick, but not in a bad way. What I’ve come to learn about Toji in all our interactions is that he's an open book. Whatever’s on his mind, whether it’s something sexual or about his personal life, he tells me. 

 Those hues that remind me of the rainforest, jade and earth like, tells me. They hold power, darkening while leisurely ogling my body, slowly trailing up and down my curves until they meet with my eyes once more. 

 Whenever Toji looks at me like that, my heart pounds against my chest and sensation builds between my legs. He has no shame from looking at me with such animalistic hunger. 

 It… entices me. 

 Does he not know what this does to me?

 “Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask breathlessly. 

 “Like what?”

 “Like you want to devour me.”

 All Toji does is trace his bottom lip with his tongue and hums. 

 Gosh, I need this man so fucking badly. 

 “How was your day?” He chooses to ignore my question. A first from him, actually. 

 I tuck a curl behind my ear. “It was fine. Work was work.”

 He sighs. “Wish I could say the same.”

 “Something happened?”

 He takes the apple cider out of the chiller and pours a glass for me before pouring one of his own. Our fingertips graze and a touch as simple as that has chills running down my spine. 

 “The owner sold the club to a new fucker and it seems like the gods are fucking with me.” 

 “How so? The new owner is a douche?” I ask, causing him to let out an incredulous chuckle.

 “More than that. The-” He stops short of sentence, contemplating if he wants to tell me what’s on his mind. 

 “You don’t have to tell me, Toji. It’s okay,” I reassure him. 

 “No, it’s fine. It’s just—thinking about my life back in Japan puts me in a shitty mood.” 

 I place my hand on his thigh to give him a comforting squeeze. Again, we sat in silence for a bit until he decided to tell me about what happened at work. 

 My expression remains neutral while Toji tells me about someone from his family that disowned him is the one who purchased the club. Apparently a cousin he didn’t know even existed. 

 He doesn’t go too much into detail about his family history, but my stomach is filled with disgust hearing that his uncle is practically forcing the kids to get married and make babies. All for the sake of fucking keeping a generation alive. 

 Yet my heart breaks for Toji knowing that’s the type of environment he grew up in. 

 I can tell that definitely affected his fathering to Megumi. 

 “Oh… wow. That’s-”

 “Sad?” He attempts to finish for me. 

 “No. Well, I mean, yeah. But I was going to say how shitty your family is. You didn’t deserve that.”

 He chuckles, stuffing a rice ball in his mouth. “How do you know what I deserve?”

 “I don’t, but it’s definitely not trauma from people that’s supposed to love and protect you.”

 Toji stops chewing for a moment, like he’s trying to process what I said, but quickly gathered himself together. 

 “That’s how they treat the fuck up.”

 I grab his chin to hold and force him to look at me. “Hey, what did I tell you about being kind to yourself?”

 His eyes slightly widen while locking with mine as if he’s in disbelief from what I said. Or I don’t know, maybe because I grabbed his face. 

 It might’ve been bold for me to do that, especially knowing Toji is affected by my touch as well, but I refuse to hear him belittle himself like that. 

 I’ve had my fair share of pain over the years, but it isn’t nearly enough or comparable to what Toji had or has  to endure. 

 I just hate seeing the people I care about talk down on themselves. And despite us barely knowing each other,  Toji Fushiguro is definitely on my list. 

  His face softens. “You bossing me around now, Miss L /N?” The tenderness and earnestness in his voice makes my stomach flutter. 

 “If that’s what it takes to get through that big head of yours, then yeah,” I answer, playfully letting go of his chin to push his face away. I attempt to take a sip of my apple cider, but Toji latches onto my hand to hold against his lips. 

 “Okay,” is all he says. That simple response that spreads warmth beneath my cheeks and has me internally squealing like a little girl in a candy store. 

 Thirty minutes into our date and I already want to be lovey dovey with him by showering him with kisses. 

 I can only imagine how long I’ll have until I can no longer control myself. 

 The time goes by smoothly with Toji and I. After eating his delicious food and having comfort conversations, I’ve never felt more relaxed. 

 It’s been awhile since I felt this way, like the world doesn’t exist. That’s what happens when I’m around him. We just… talk. More so, me, and he does all the listening, occasionally putting his input or talking about himself. 

 I’ve learned a lot about Toji within these past few hours. His guilty pleasure in gambling, which I don’t mind because betting on horse races is pretty normal. Being able to witness Toji yelling like an obsessed fan is a sight worth seeing. 

 However, I think my favorite part of our conversations is seeing how his face lights up and softens when talking about his son.

 Usually, he tells me what pains him when it comes to his relationship with Megumi, but this time, I’m gifted with the happy moments Toji remembers. 

 Like when he was born or even down to the first word he spoke in English. I wish Toji had my eyes so he could see how he looks whenever he talks about him. 

 Despite his current strained relationship with his son, I know Toji is trying his best to be a father to him. I can’t help but look at him with such affection. 

 “Why are you looking at me like that?” The smile on his face makes me believe he’s mocking me when I asked the same question earlier. 

 “It’s a crime for me to look at you?”

 “With those eyes? Yeah,” he answers, continuously massaging my thigh. 

 I giggle. “And what kind of eyes are mine?”

 “Brown. Beautiful. Soft. Pretty enough to make a fucker weak in the knees.” He tells me this with no hesitation and it catches me off guard.

 I’m lost for words.

 “I… just enjoy hearing you talk, especially about Megumi. It feels humbling.”

 He hums. “I think having a kid makes you feel that way. I truly was a fucking train wreck before I met his mother and had him. Enough motivation to be better. To do better.”

 “Can I know more about her?”

 By how his hand stops midway while rubbing my thigh, I know he knows who I mean by her.

 Instant regret hits me because I feel like I overstepped a boundary. Toji doesn’t look at me, but there’s a smile on his face. I quickly spew out an apology, however, he reassures me that I’m okay. 

 “It’s not you, just… not now. Maybe another time,” he says, resuming his massages. “C’mon, Y/N. I know better than to talk about my late wife while I’m on a date. Cut me some slack.”

 I place my palm against his cheek to rub his flesh with my thumb. “I know she meant a lot to you.”

 “Yeah, she did… But I think I have another person who’s starting to mean something to me, too.”

 “Yeah?” I question, smiling. “Who?”

 “My son’s reading teacher. She’s fucking hot and has a nice ass.” I playfully swat his chest, earning me a hearty chuckle from him. “Just being honest.”

 “Whatever.”

 “Yeah, whatever?” I don’t know where it started, but suddenly Toji leaned forward, leaving but a breath away from kissing.

 I look at him through lidded eyes, altering my attention between his irises and his lips. No drinking has been done, but I feel drunk off his energy. 

 How he looks at me. Talk to me. The way his hand goes up and down my thigh slowly, intimately, creeping closer to my center that I know is currently pooling wetness.

 Toji Fushiguro knows the effect he has on me. He freaking made me come from just drying humping. Every night I visualize him between my legs, licking and sucking until I’m writhing above him. To fuck me so passionately and aggressively with his cock until I’m begging for more.

 I want him to imprint my insides. I want to be desired and worshiped by this man. I can’t help but look deprived by fisting his sweater to pull him closer to mouth to kiss, only for him to rear back and taunt me. 

 He tsks. “Why are you so fucking needy? Hm?” His hand cuffs my face, digging his fingers into my cheeks to purse my lips. “Always whimpering. You know what that shit does to me?”

 “Because I want you.”

 “Where do you want me? Here?” I arch into him and whine from feeling his hand hike up my skirt to palm my pussy. 

 I nod with such eagerness.

 “You call this string, panties? I can easily rip these off and eat that sweet fat pussy right now.”

 “Can you?” I ask, sounding like I’m losing all senses. Toji answers me by pulling my thong to the side to thumb my clit. 

 It’s almost embarrassing how wet he finds me considering he hasn’t barely touched me. My grip on his sweater grows tighter, bound to leave wrinkles the more fervently he rubs circles around my clit.

 He flicks faster, my soft moans and wetness being played with fills the space between us, being only audible for him to hear. 

 Toji drags his nose along my neck, inhaling my scent and leaving open mouthed kisses. Along the way, my fingers slip through his dark locks to tug him closer. 

 And to think Toji would continue to tease me without inserting his fingers inside of me, his fingers sinking inside of my pussy says otherwise.

 “Ohh…” I breathed. 

 “Fuck. . . How long you been wet for me like this, princess?”

 I clench around his fingers at the pet name. 

 He begins pumping in and out of me while leaving love marks across my flesh. His fingers… they’re so thick and the perfect length to deliver pleasure. They stretch me, and I feel desperation pricking my skin at wanting to feel his cock inside of me, too.

 I latch onto Toji’s face to meet mine and force our lips together. I couldn’t take not kissing him because kissing him feels like everything has stopped around us. I know all I need is to taste him to know that I’ll be okay. 

 He chuckles into my mouth, which I’m guessing due to my neediness and boldness, but that soon turns into groans I happily devour. 

 “Toji,” I gasp, breaking our kiss for some air with nothing but a string of saliva connecting us. 

 “As much as I enjoy hearing you moan my name, stop talking.” It’s like déjà vu because I immediately think about the first night we kissed and I told him the same thing. 

 Toji is addictive. I can’t stop saying this. How he sucks on my tongue possessively and bites down on my bottom lip, damn near drawing blood, has me wanting to submit to him. 

 He’s the type of man that could tell me what to do not because I allow him, but for the reason he knows that he can. 

 I want him to have his way with me. I want him to keep thrusting his fingers in my pussy until I come and moan his name uncontrollably. 

 God, who knew fingering could feel this good. 

 “A little faster, Toji,” I muffle through our kiss. 

 “Trying to boss me around? How can I say no,”—his pace picks up and finger fuck me harder—“when you fucking sound like that?”

 I instinctively raised my hips and spread to have his digits pump deeper inside of me. His thumb finds my clit once more and I shudder beneath him. My hands claws into the flesh of his scalp, making it clear I’m close to my orgasm.

 We kiss for a bit longer before he starts showing attention to my face, peppering his lips softly across my cheeks. The gesture, it feels… unlike him. 

 Not that I expect Toji to only be rough with me, but for him to be this tender while finger fucking my pussy… I’m bound to fall in love with this man. 

 “You sound pretty. Moaning for me. Saying my name like that’s all you know in that little teacher brain of yours,” he whispers, kissing behind my ear. An airy chuckle escapes his mouth that furthers the libido that’s pumping through my veins. “This pussy is so fucking tight. You sure you could take me, baby girl?”

 “Toji, yes. Just fuck me… Please.”

 He shakes his head. “Not here, sweetheart. I want you spread out on the bed when I’m balls deep inside of you. I want to hear the bed creaking when you’re riding my cock, and see those pretty titties bouncing in my face.” The more he speaks to me in this timbre is only aiding my near release. “But don’t worry, Miss L/N. I’ll take care of you tonight with just my fingers. Got this fucking pussy soaking and squeezing the fuck out of me. Just keep sounding sexy like that for me. Okay?”

 Fuck... I feel myself coming. He slows down his thrust and applies more pressure to my throbbing clit. I match his movements by circling my hips around his fingers. 

 Toji’s voice alone is enough to make me orgasm, and it hits me hard. The nerves of fire I had coiled in the pit of my stomach finally unleashes and has me moaning louder than usual, with a few breaths being stuck in my throat.

 Coming this hard just from being fingered and talked to so passionately with such obscenity, I’m a crying mess. And in the midst of my release, I squirt. Something I’ve never done before.

 He chuckles, “Good girl. Good fucking girl. You always messy like this?”

 “Oh–Oh, God… Toji… I–I don’t know. Why does this feel so good?”

 “I said I was going to take care of you. Right?” T0ji removes his fingers from my pussy, taking his time to collect enough of my arousal in his hand to bring to his face. He raises his hand in the air and separates his fingers, groaning at the sight of my wetness gleaming under the moonlight.

 Toji brings his hand to his nose and deeply inhales my scent, pleasurably exhaling while sucking my juices off his fingers.

 “You taste fucking good, sweets.”

 Sweets. Hearing him call me that does even more to me than being called princess. 

 Now, I feel even more desperate for Toji, completely losing my senses and busying my hands trying to unbuckle his pants. I want him. I crave him. Am I needy? Yes, although I don’t remember ever being this way, but that’s what happens when you’re finger fucked by Toji Fushiguro.

 “Easy girl,” he rasps, latching onto my wrists to halt my erratic movements. “As much as I enjoy watching you being so desperate for me, I don’t want you to feel obligated-”

 I cut him off. “No, I just want your dick inside of me.”

 “Fuck, you’re making it hard for me, Y/N.”

 “You are. I’m making it easy for you,” I argue.

 He clasps onto my chin to place the sweetest kiss on my lips. My body relaxes and I feel content with tasting myself on him. “Not like this… Okay?”

 “Okay,” I answered, giving him a small smile.

 “So… you’re a squirter? We’ll have to push you like that again.”

 If it wasn’t for my dark brown complexion, I know my warmth would show. “Please don’t remind me.”

 He throws his head back and lets out a laugh that has me joining him. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, sweets. It’s sexy.”

 After being cleaned up by the travel size wipes I keep in my purse, Toji and I lay together and talk for hours under the midnight sky. 

 As I said before, Toji is a beautiful catalyst that I’m ready to get to know.

 The familiarity I feel around him is compelling. And I’m aware that we agreed on something casual for now, but after tonight, I don’t think that would be possible for me.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

discussion question #6 — nothing really pertaining to this chapter, but how are we feeling about the story so far? im honestly enjoying it. i do apologize for the long update. next chapter will be out in a few weeks and it'll be a timeskip, about a month or so. thank you for reading and i'll see you next time ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

[avengerscompound]

The Interview - Chapter 11

The Interview - A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Rating:  E

Warnings:  smut (FM, oral sex, vaginal sex)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Melody Danes

Word Count:   3557

Summary:  Melody Danes gets the break of a lifetime when as a lowly intern, she’s assigned to write a profile piece on Captain America.  Steve Rogers is a hard man not to fall for and as she and Melody get closer and Melody’s career takes off, jealousy leads to sabotage, and the potential to bring her whole world crashing down.

Chapter 11

Road trips were a make-or-break test for relationships, right up there with unplanned pregnancies and trips to Ikea.  For Melody and Steve, it had felt like a breeze.  Steve had taken the role of driver and despite being a little fast and loose with the speed limit, he’d stopped at various roadside stores to buy preserves, maple candy, and apple cider donuts.  Halfway there they’d stopped at a tavern for lunch, filling up on burgers, fries, and house-made cider before hitting the road again.  The fall foliage was in full form, and the whole trip was colored in reds, oranges, and golds.

By the time they arrived at the large colonial mansion bed and breakfast, Melody was ready to stretch out, relax, and enjoy her weekend with Steve.  They were shown up to their room in the mansion’s tower and Melody stretched out on the fourposter, bed picking at some leftover donuts, while Steve unpacked.

“So what’s the plan for the weekend,” she asked. “I mean - aside from the romantic setting for our -” she made a circle with her thumb and index finger on one hand and poked her finger in and out of it.

He started laughing as he watched her. “Oh good lord,” he joked.  “Did I make a mistake?”

She laughed with him, falling back on the mattress.  “But seriously?  Are we just going to stay inside all weekend?  Or did you want to go do things?  Antiquing maybe?  Or as you might like to call it - buying era-appropriate items.”

Steve looked at her, trying not to laugh.  “Oh that’s it!” he said and ran over, jumping on top of her and tickling her sides.  She squealed and writhed under him as his fingers moved on her sides.

“Steve!” she squealed.  “Stop!”

His hands slowed and he leaned in, capturing her lips.  What started as frantic and silly tickling, quickly turned into a slow and deep makeout session.  Steve’s hands moved up her sides and she ran one of hers into his hair.  Her body practically vibrated in anticipation under him, like an electrical current ran under her skin.

He pulled back slowly and smiled at her.  “I actually wouldn’t mind going antiquing.  I lost everything from back then and it would be nice to have some things in my house that remind me of my mother, even if they aren’t hers.  But I’d also like to find a drafting table. And I like antique radios.”

“Really?” Melody asked, putting her hands on his chest and guiding him off her so she could sit up.

“Yeah,” he said.  “They’re just - I like how they look.  And I guess they probably remind me of being young and sitting on the fire escape with Bucky listening to the baseball.”

“Then let’s do it,” she said.  “I can’t really afford antiques, but you never know, maybe I’ll find a gem while we’re out.”

He pecked her lips and stood back up.  “It’s fun to just look, and honestly I’m just looking forward to having a slow weekend with you.  I don’t take a lot of time for myself.”

“Mmm… me either,” Melody agreed.  “Though no one works as hard as Bobbi does.  I don’t care who it is.”

“Yeah, Bucky said that it’s hard to lock her down,” Steve said as he went back to unpacking.  He stopped and looked at her, grimacing slightly.  “She does like him, doesn’t she?”

“Oh yeah,” Melody said quickly.  She felt guilty on behalf of her cousin.  Not that Bobbi could help that she was busy or that she was nervous about coming out as trans to a guy she was really into, but Melody knew that Bucky had his own demons and that feeling of being not enough would hit him particularly hard.  “She is super into him.”

She paused.  Now would be the perfect time to bring up the topic with Steve and test the water about whether Bucky would be accepting of the fact that the woman he was seeing was trans.  She missed her chance though, because Steve seemed so relieved that Bobbi was definitely into Bucky he was talking again.

“Phew,” he said, doing an elaborate wipe of his brow.  “He’ll be happy to know that.  I really want them to work out, I’d hate for things to be awkward if we stay together and they break up.  We should go on a double date with them when we get back.  Hey, if you know anyone for Sam, maybe we can go on a triple date.”

Melody laughed.  It was unusual to get to see that kind of rambling relief in Steve.  He was obviously as invested in the whole Bucky and Bobbi situation as Melody was.  “Hmm… I might,” she said, going through the list of names of people she knew in New York that might be well-matched to the Sam Wilson.  “Is he into men? Women? Gender is a construct that serves as no indicator of his attraction to a person?”

Steve raised his eyebrow.  “Ahh… you know what?  I don’t know.  I’ve never known him to date anyone.  I’ll ask.”

“I bet when you ask, he’ll just try and duck the question so he doesn’t get set up with a stranger,” Melody teased.

Steve laughed.  “That’s likely true.” He paused for a moment as he put his jacket on a hanger.  “I liked that about gender being a construct.  I’ve never really thought about it too much before, but I think that’s me.”

“Yeah?” Melody said, raising an eyebrow in surprise.  “Have you ever dated a man or someone off the binary?”

He shook his head.  “No.  But to be fair, I can count how many people I have dated on one hand.”

“I’m the same in case you’re wondering.  And I’ve been out with a spectrum.  People are probably more open to questioning their gender these days than back when you grew up,” she said.

“Yeah, I’d say that’s very true.  I like that that’s the world we live in these days.  It definitely didn’t feel safe to question things back then,” he said.

“Do you think you would have - questioned things if you had the space to?” Melody asked.

He came over and sat down beside her, furrowing his brow.  “I - I don’t think so.  If anything I was always pretty intent on proving that I was a man.  I found it hard not being as masculine as others thought I should be - or even I thought I should be.  I felt more at home in my body after I had the serum.  Like it reflected who I saw myself as.”

She took his hand and played with his fingers, tracing along them with her fingertips.  His hands dwarfed hers and she pressed her palm against his, looking at the difference in size as she thought.  “I have a question - and I’m not sure how to phrase it.”

Steve looked at her with his head tilted.  “Then it might be best not to worry about how it sounds and just say it.”

She took a deep breath.  “Bobbi’s taking things slowly with Bucky.  Partially it’s just because of work.  She is super busy with work.  She works seven days a week, and sometimes she’ll finish one job and go right to the next one.  Partially it’s because of Bucky.  She knows he’s been through hell and she wants to make sure he feels safe with her.”

“That’s really good.  I mean I know he wishes she had more free time, but I’m glad he’s seeing someone who’s letting him figure things out.  This is the first time he’s been interested in anyone since - well…” Steve explained.

She nodded in understanding.  “I get it,” she said.  “There is more though.  And I brought this up because she asked me to.  She might not seem it, but she's vulnerable and a little scared.  The thing is, Bobbi’s trans.  She likes Bucky a lot, but she's had guys show interest in her before and when they've found out, they've gotten violent with her.  I offered to run all this by you.  You know Bucky better than anyone, if he finds this out - is she safe?”

Steve stared at her in shock.  “Wow.  I had no idea,” he said.  “I - uh - I’m sure she's safe.  I couldn't imagine Bucky being so insecure about that, he'd attack someone.  Plus, he does really like her, he wouldn't hurt someone he liked.  If you wanted to know if it was a deal-breaker for him - I wish I could firmly say it wasn't, but I don't know.  That's not something we've ever spoken about.”

“Yeah, sadly we live in a world where you can never know even if people do talk about it,” she agreed.

“I can ask him or gently let him know…”

Melody shook her head emphatically.  “Please don't.  She'll want to do it herself even if he does reject her.  She just wanted to make sure she was safe first.”

“I am sure she'd be safe with him.  I'm sure of it,” he said.

“Thanks, Steve,” she said, kissing his cheek.

He took a deep breath and clapped his hands on his thighs.  “Well, after all that, I think I want to get in the shower and wash the road off me,” he said, standing up.

Melody hooked her finger in his back pocket and tugged on it.  “Want some company?”

He looked surprised at the suggestion, and his eyes flicked from the bathroom door down to Melody. “Sure.  That would be nice.”

She followed him into the bathroom and the two stripped down.  It was the first time they’d seen each other naked, and as the water warmed they took a moment to appreciate each other.  Melody’s eyes slid up and down Steve’s body.  She had always known he was bigger than her but there was something about seeing him naked while she was exposed too, that seemed to highlight just how much bigger than her he was.  His skin was flawless, not a single line or pore marked him.  It was like he was carved from marble and if Melody didn’t know from experience, she would have thought he’d be hard to the touch.  He was muscular in a way that most men needed to be dehydrated to achieve and his body hair was fine and blond.

It was his cock that held her attention.  Even in its flaccid state, it was intimidatingly large.  He was uncut, just like he said, and a thick vein stood out, running right down the shaft.  It was a little intimidating and she worried that when he was hard, he wouldn’t even be able to fit inside her.

“Come on,” Steve said, offering her his hand.  She took it and let him lead her into the warm water. 

He grabbed the washcloth, squeezed shower gel onto it, and began to slowly and tenderly wash down her body.  She relaxed under the warm water, letting herself just enjoy the gentle touch of this perfect man.  He crouched in front of her and ran the cloth down the sides of her legs and up between them.  She shivered slightly, and wetness formed between her legs that had nothing to do with the water that was cascading down over her body.

When he finished, he stood, and she took the cloth from him, washing him as he had just washed her. 

She carefully trailed the washcloth over his body, and as she did, his cock began to harden.  It twitched and jumped as her hands moved closer to it and she looked up at Steve, meeting his gaze.  His normally pale blue eyes were blown out black with lust, and as her fingertips ever so gently teased down his shaft, he gave a small nod.

Taking it as permission, she dropped to her knees and braced her hands on his hips.  He still wasn’t fully hard yet, but up close she was even more intimidated by the size of him.  She flattened her tongue and slowly ran it up the length of his shaft.  He groaned and braced his hands on the shower wall, letting her take complete control.  Her lips stretched wide as she began to suckle on the head, and licked over it, collecting up a drop of precome that had formed on the head.  

“God, look at you,” Steve groaned.

Her eyes flicked up to meet his and she pushed her head down, his cock filling her mouth as she forced him down.  She wanted to take as much of him as possible but it felt like she’d barely even made it down his shaft before the head of his cock seemed to be pressing up against the back of her throat and making her gag.

“Easy, sweetheart,” Steve praised, his eyes still trained on hers.

She didn’t want to go easy. She wanted to test all her limits with him, she kept pushing him down further with each bob of her head.  Drool pooled in her mouth and dripped down her chin as she choked on his cock.  The deeper she took him the louder he moaned, until the sound of it and the wet choked noise of her deep-throating him.  She used her hand to stroke what she couldn’t fit in her mouth, his shaft was so thick her fingers couldn’t even touch when she wrapped her hand around it.

“God, Mel.  ‘M close,” he moaned.

Melody pushed him down deep, cutting off her oxygen, and looked up at him with soft eyes.  He groaned louder and his thigh muscles tightened and with a shudder he came, pulsing in her mouth.  She swallowed everything she gave him, the tart salting fluid filling her mouth.

She slowly pulled off and Steve took a moment to gather himself, his chest heaving as he caught his breath.  When he seemed to recover a little, he helped her to her feet and crouched in front of her.  He nosed at her cunt as she tangled his finger in his hair.  Without warning, he lifted her, putting both her legs on his shoulders, as he stood with his face buried in her folds.  She gasped and leaned back on the shower wall, bracing herself with her hands and gripping the top of the shower to steady herself. Steve lapped and sucked at her pussy, seeming to pay close attention to every shiver and sounds she made.  Each time she moaned he focused on the point that set her off, until he was focused directly on her clit, suckling at it and running his tongue over the top.  She had never felt anything like it.  He seemed to be so intune with her body, that every flick of his tongue sends a current right through her.  That paired with the adrenaline surging through her from being held aloft, was making her feel weak, lightheaded, and like every one of her nerves was lit up.

Heat coiled in her stomach like a snake, and then burst through her, taking hold of her whole body, she cried out and dug her heels into Steve’s shoulders as her orgasm crashed through her.  Steve continued to lick her through it like he was trying to drink her up.  As her body settled, he helped her down again and helped her rinse off. 

He shut off the water and as soon as they each had a towel wrapped around them, Steve lifted her bridal style.

“Steve!” she yelped as he carried her back into the bedroom.

He chuckled and set her on the bed.  “Did you want to stop?”

She shook her head.  “Not on your life.”

His eyes twinkled and he leaned down, his face held just in front of hers. “I thought you would say that,” he said and brought his lips to hers.  She kissed back passionately, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and trying to pull him down on top of her.

“Just give me a second,” he whispered against her lips.

She let him go and he went and grabbed a condom and lube.  He rolled the rubbed down over his cock, and approached her again, liberally coating his shaft with the thick gel.  Melody watched him closely.  Her eyes were locked on his cock again, and she started to worry about being able to take him again, or him hurting her without meaning to.

He climbed up between her legs and kissed her stomach.  “Just relax,” he soothed as he pushed two fingers inside of her.  He curled them, stroking them over her internal walls, and teasing them over her g-spot.  With the added lubrication on top of how wet she already was, his fingers made a graphic squelch as he moved them inside her and focused on that sweet spot inside her.  Melody had only really just come down from her orgasm, and another was quickly building again, making her legs tremble and her thigh muscles pull tight.

“Oh, god, Steve, please,” she begged.

“Hold it,” he growled.

She looked up at him, startled by the deep growl in the order.  He was watching her closely and he eased a third finger inside her.  He moved them in and out curled them as he corkscrewed his wrist, dragging his knuckles over her g-spot.  She cried out and bucked up under him, her back arching off the bed.

“How does that feel?” he asked, as he spread his fingers, adding a burn to the full feeling of his fingers inside her.

“Fuck, so good, Steve, please,” she begged.

“I’m no bigger than that,” he said, removing his fingers.  “You can relax.  I’m not going to hurt you.”

She was so worked up, that she didn’t even care if it did hurt anymore.  She just wanted to feel him inside her.  She sat up, wrapped her arms around his shoulder, and pulled him down on top of her, kissing his neck as she did.  “Please, Steve.  I need it.”

He took one of her hands and wrapped her fingers around his cock as he lined the head up to her entrance.  “You’re in control,” he said, as he looked into her eyes.  “Guide me in.”

She moaned softly, and her cunt clenched around nothing.  “Okay,” she breathed.

He slowly pushed in, letting her guide him, setting both the pace and depth.  Her eyes fell closed and her head fell back.  There was the burn at her entrance as he stretched her open, but it didn’t feel bad exactly, and he was going so slowly it allowed her to adjust to him.

He reached a spot inside her where there was a sharp sting and she stopped him and pushed him back slightly, easing it off again.  “There?” he asked

She nodded.  “Yes.  No more than that.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said. “I’ve got you.”

She knew he did.  She trusted him completely.  She knew she was safe with him. Not just here in bed, but everywhere.  He was everything she had ever wanted in a partner.  Her hands went to his jaw and she pulled him down into a kiss as he began to thrust.

He kept alternating the speed of his thrusts, going from a gentle pleasant rhythm where Melody could feel the way his cock moved along the ridges of his cunt, to just pounding into her, so all that she could do was hold on and hope she didn’t break apart.  It was like nothing she had ever experienced before and just when she thought that there was nothing she would ever experience that could ever make her feel this good again, he started to rub her clit.

It sent her tumbling over the edge.  Her orgasm tore through her like wildfire, setting her alight.  She cried out and clung to Steve as her hips bucked up hard under him.  “Oh fuck, Steve,” he mewled as he continued to thrust into her.  “Please.  I want to feel you.”

He pressed his face into her neck as his hips began to stutter.  She tangled her fingers into his hair, holding him there as she felt the pulse of his cock as he neared his release.  With a deep moan, his hips jerked, and he came inside her.

She hummed and held him as his hips slowed.  She felt slightly high and overstimulated.  When Steve finally slipped from her, it was a relief, and yet she felt achingly empty and wanted him inside her again.  He rolled onto his back, and she curled in against him, putting her head on his shoulder and looking up at him.  “Holy hell, Steve,” she sighed.  “That was worth the wait.”

He chuckled. “Thank you,” he said. “I think so too.”

“I know we haven’t eaten yet, but I feel like I need a nap and a cigarette after that, and I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life.”

He laughed harder and kissed her.  “Let’s just relax for a bit.  There’s time before we have to decide if we go out to eat.”

She hummed and closed her eyes as Steve took off the used condom and tossed it in the trash.  The weekend away was off to the best of starts and she knew she was going to enjoy the rest of it.

// NEXT

[innitmarvellous]

Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.

First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.

Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)

---

Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:

these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.

Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.

---

Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.

---

Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.

---

I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol

Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.

Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh 😓 And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...

---

In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.

---

And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.

- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')

- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D

- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.

- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.

[cosmichoneibeee]

Hi! Could I request a harbor and cypher x Latina reader?them learning spanish, dancing toghether,Sharing eachother's cultures and stuff? Hcs maybe if thats easier!

Have a nice day!

Cypher and Harbor with a latina reader

A/N: hello, asker, I took very long and I'm so sorry!! But I hope that you like what I wrote. I'm a latina myself, just not from the spanish part, so I hope I got it right. Thanks for asking ^^

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠

❝Cypher:

Does not understand Spanish, not at all

Knows few words out of context because of Reyna and Gekko

He thinks it's cute to see you mad, yelling all these things that don't make sense to him but seem so beautiful the way you say it

Secretly takes Spanish lessons so he can talk to you, since he knows how difficult it is to express yourself in a language other than yours

It's impressive how easily he learns the new language, in no time he already pronounces each syllable like a native

And he won't mention anything, waiting for the right moment to catch you off guard.

He gives a hearty laugh as your eyes widen in surprise hearing him say those words in Spanish in such a subtle accent

"Eres la persona mas hermosa, mi amor"

Would like to teach you Arabic, at least the basics, but he won't force you to do anything, after all, Arabic is one of the most difficult languages in the world

If you agree, no one else can stop you two

Communication in "codes", a mixture of English, Arabic and Spanish, so no one ever knows what you are talking about

Loves your family so much

Has too much fun at family parties, eating barbecue, drinking beer and listening to the gossip of people he doesn't even know

He is not a religious man at all, and sure as hell not even close to christian, but he loves Navidad, all the traditional foods that come with the date, the children excited to see the oldest uncle dressed as Santa Claus, he is captivated by it all.

And your family adores him. He is a very charming man, it's hard not to like him

Can't dance for his life, looks like he has two left feet

But he doesn't mind watching you dance

If you ask nicely, he might even try to keep up, but it won't be much more than two steps one way, two steps the other

He is a tea man and spends staggering amounts of money to get the best of the best in every cup, but when you introduce him to south american coffee...he questions whether he really prefers tea

Despite the language and cultural barriers, Cypher embraces your differences and you embraces his, finding joy in learning about eachother's traditions.

❝Harbor:

He doesn't understand any Spanish either, but he pretends to understand and ends up trying to make a connection between Hindi and Spanish.

He started to understand more when he developed a more serious relationship with you and even more when he became Gekko's coach

Ended up learning the basics in practice

His accent is horrible, but the intention is good.

He keeps asking you for help to try to get better

A puppy in the body of a full grown Rottweiler

When he tries to say something in Spanish and gets a compliment from you, he's all happy and you can see the sparkle in his eyes for the rest of the day

Doesn't even mentions Hindi lessons to you because it's also one of the hardest languages for Latinos to learn, but he gets so emotional when he sees you taking lessons

The best teacher, teaches you all the secrets for you to learn everything very quickly

Likes to talk to you in Hindi and Spanish but only when you're alone, he feels embarrassed to exclude others from the conversation.

Loves your family and loves the food they make even more

Everything has so much spice and flavor..reminds him of home

He is very popular with your relatives, he is very tall and muscular, he ends up spending the entire trip doing favors for everyone.

Spanish speakers tend to speak very fast...too fast for Varun to understand what your relatives are saying sometimes, but he never has the heart to ask them to repeat it, he just smiles and nods

Of all events, he loves going to quinceañeras the most, he thinks everything is so cute and princess-like

But mostly because it always has lots of food and dancing

And because he can show off what a beautiful partner he has, you!

An amazing dancer, for any type of dance

He may not know exactly how to dance to a certain rhythm, but his confidence and his swing make everyone forget about that detail.

He prefers to dance right next to you, glued, going round and round the room and hear your laugh for the pirouettes he ends up doing with you

Thinks you look like Gloria from Modern Family, even though you bear no resemblance to her

Every time you're watching Modern Family together and she does something even remotely resembling your attitude, he's all smiles and nudges you a few times while saying, "hey, it's just like you"

He is even more amused to see your annoyed face at the comparison

He would honestly love you even if you were a Martian, simply because it's you, but he can't lie that you being Latina is like an extra spice in his life

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠

@ Do not copy any of my works, translate and/or post it on others websites.

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 28/6

It's in the recs list! I'm very much looking forward to this one.

I've certainly enjoyed what I've read so far - it's been nice to get back to the story's original protagonists.

The main mood of Act 5.2 is one of anticipation. We've been getting glimpses of the kids' Grand Plan ever since the Act began, and it very much feels like it's all building up to something. If Homestuck sticks the landing, and the Act 5 finale lives up to all this hype, then this might end up my favorite part of the story so far.

Yeah it's a session tag - although a 'reading session' is a little ambiguously defined, especially when I stop posting for a few hours and return later in the day. How long a gap does it need to be before it qualifies as a new reading session?

I've just been tagging every post made in the same day as the same session. It's not a perfect solution, but it'll do.

Wow, it started in 2010? I could conceivably have been reading Paranatural in school - although I'm glad I came to it a little later, so I wasn't constantly waiting for updates.

Big red peepers. I'll admit I didn't really think of this as a reveal, but I suppose it is our first true peek behind Dave's shades.

Based on this, it's it's probably safe to assume that all the kids have eyes matching their text colors. Has Rose been blessed with the legendary mutation, Alexandria's Genesis?

A few people mentioned this Squiddles meme. I like it, it's very Trunk & The Grunks.

I've really gotta catch up on those albums at some point...

I did wonder if Bro's sword shenanigans were something to do with Dave's Quest - like, maybe he was bequeathing his anime sword to his brother, to accomplish some objective. Now that Dave has his own Quest sword, I think that interpretation is less likely.

Symbolically though, I do think it's notable that Bro's sword is intact, and Dave's is broken. It ties into how Dave sees himself as a worse version of Bro, on some level.

As far as Jack is concerned, I doubt the game intends for him to have anything to do with Dave's journey. The whole point is that he's ignoring the game's rules - so if anything, his antics might start to break the Quests.

It sounds like the style was supposed to take readers aback - although I didn't find it particularly jarring myself!

Homestuck's art style is constantly changing, with this, the Earthbound sprites, and Hero Mode, among other things. Honestly, I had just assumed that the comic's art just fluctuated depending on Hussie's mood.

I quite like the HussNasty panels, and I hope Hussie keeps experimenting with the comic's art. It sounds like this is the beginning of a more general trend, so I'm hopeful that it will continue.

Oh, so it just straight up is Excalibur.

New theory about his Quest, then. It's about worthiness, and Dave is being tasked to 'prove himself' as a hero, despite his insecurities. This ties neatly into the next set of asks below:

Anonymous asked: my headcanon (partially supported by the text, as you've seen from rose's conversation with jaspers) is that each quest is designed to help you self-improve, so that you can responsibly preside over an entire universe. whether you agree with the game about the ways you need to improve is another story.

I've speculated that the Quests are teaching the Players how to sculpt their universe. Building on from this idea, then, these asks speculate that Quests are also trying to improve the Players as people, so that the nascent universe will flourish under their care.

It's an interesting idea - although it does beg the question of why Sburb is creating such flawed Players in the first place. If it's looking for self-actualized custodians for its universe, why did it create Players like the trolls, who wanted to rule over their universe like tyrants?

I guess it's possible that a flawed Player who self-improves is actually more resilient than a flawless Player who never needed to change. The former would potentially be more resilient, capable of adapting to the changing circumstances of their universe as it grows and evolves.

I wish! That's more of an aspirational schedule, really. I should probably delink it, if it's causing confusion.

I'm not sure whether this is Karkat's canonical birthday - but if it is, I like the irony inherent in the fact that he's not even a Cancer.

Yes - although I don't blame you for forgetting, since I don't think I've referenced it since the literal first post of the liveblog!

Oh, god, messages from 2024? Is Tumblr using Trollian as a backend?

Bizarre. I assume, then, that the trickster code was cut as well. :(

If we assume that Sburb did evolve, then it makes sense that it works this way. However, if it was created by some intelligent being, then holding the Players hostage like this seems pretty malicious.

I mean, there are ways to ensure participation in the game that don't involve destroying an entire planet. No matter how clear you were about the risks, if you asked the population of Earth for volunteers, you'd be guaranteed millions of responses.

All that said, if Sburb worked this way, we'd have a very different story. I understand why Sburb works the way it does, in the context of Homestuck's themes.

Speaking of Kingdom Hearts, I'd kind of love for Sora to visit a Homestuck world. His Keyblade upgrade could be the Wrinklefucker - and he'd have to unlock Vriska as a summon, right?

Do it. I've been rereading GtN this week, and as far as I'm concerned, Alecto can't come fast enough.

It is she. The million dollar question, of course, is whether Taylor is ultimately more of a constructive or destructive character.

I mean, I have an opinion, but resurrecting The Great Taylor Hebert Debate on this blog would be an exercise in hubris.

@wickedsick asked: The typically accepted name for Girl Egbert is June, after that one time Vriska spelt John with 64 O's and Egbert said they read it as a really long "June". [...]

Oh man, imagine being trolled by Vriska was your trans awakening. How would you ever recover?

Jokes aside, I like June, It's cute. I feel like if John transitioned she'd choose another 4 letter J-name like that, or a name from one of her movies, like Dana or Janine.

Come on - I'd be shocked if Homestuck didn't end with the straight characters getting outnumbered at least twenty-to-one.

Looks fine to me, I think. I assume the website just hiccupped - wouldn't be the first time!

It blows my mind every time I remember that Undertale came out in 2015. The beginning of the Undertale Era feels like it started simultaneously six months ago, and twenty years ago.

You open the TYPHEUS web browser and direct it to what is indisputably the most amazing website ever created.

Au contraire, my friend - Typheus showed up way back in Act 1!

[ I can't send them yet because they'd tell you a lot about the aspects, but someone sent classpect headcanons for discworld characters and they're SO GOOD - C ]

Damn it, I can't wait. Just based on what I've recently learned, I am convinced Rincewind would be the Something of Light.

[glasseditor]

reliability. [ds]

synopsis: “Clover knows so much about everything, and he’s so dependable… I want to be like that someday too.”

tags: deuce spade x reader, gender-neutral reader, sfw, fluff

ao3: reliability. [ds] word count: ~3.9k

a/n: deuce fans do you exist

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

“The third one in a row!” you cried out. 

“Hey c’mon, it’s really no big deal. Everyone failed that one! I definitely did…” Ace answered. The genuineness in his reply only served to tear into your ego further. 

“To be put on the same academic status as you is a crime,” you said, exasperation clear in your voice, “I studied so hard for this one!”

You had been staying up for so many nights that even Grim was beginning to worry for your wellbeing. You had crammed formula after formula into your brain, yet when it was time for the individual lab, you didn’t recognize a thing.

“Maybe I should try looking for a tutor.” you sighed, kicking a pebble with an air of frustration. 

“What? You said that you could do this ’100% on your own,’  remember?” Ace mocked, recalling how you had said that you would graduate without any academic help. It was true that you wanted to prove to the others that you were perfectly capable of being among their ranks despite lacking in any sort of magical ability. The thought of being able to brag about how you had passed all on your own filled you with pride. What you didn’t expect is that you would fail every important assignment that you would attempt, leaving you with the same academic standings as Ace and Deuce, NRC’s resident dumb and dumber.

“Whatever! If I find a tutor on my own, that still counts as doing it 100% on my own,” you justified, “Plus, I’ll still need to do the individual labs by myself anyways so I’ll still be doing it myself.”

“What kind of logic is that?” Ace laughed, impressed by the leaps in logic you were able to make in order to save your pride. You puffed your cheeks and turned your face away from your friend, your steps seeming heavier than they were before. Sensing your frustration, Ace decided to stop the antics and throw you a bone. “Y’know if you’re being serious, I heard that Trey is helping Deuce out with some of his studies. He’ll probably be willing to help you too and if you ask realllyy nicely maybe he’ll even keep your tutoring sessions a secret!”

“Beats the idea that I had…” you mumbled, embarrassed by the idiocy of the plan that you had thought up.

“Huh? What were you thinking?” Ace questioned, the excitement in his eyes was made obvious at the opportunity to poke fun at you.

“I was just gonna take a quick little trip to Octavinelle,” you were barely audible, the shame already apparent on your cheeks. “Look, it was just the first thing I came up with! Doesn’t mean I was actually gonna do it. Though I guess if it came to it..”

“And I suppose that would be doing things ‘100% on your own’ too?” Ace spoke, barely making an effort to contain his laughter.

“Well, I would be going there ‘100% on my own’ so…yeah! It does still count since I’m the one putting in the effort to make the deal!” you retorted with satisfaction.

Ace was beginning to think that, by some miracle, he was the smart one of the group.

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

Standing outside of the classroom door, you fiddled with the hem of your ill-fitted uniform. Trey had agreed to tutor you along with a few other students at the cost of nothing, stating that it was “just what a good senior would do.” Despite his reassurance that it was no trouble for him, you couldn’t help but feel bad for taking up so much of his time.

Upon entering the lab, you notice three other students along with your tutor. Two Heartslabyul students that you had never seen before and Deuce Spade, your good friend. You had known that Trey was helping Deuce with his studies too, but you were surprised to see that you would be in the same study group together. Along with the three students, you also took note of how everyone was already seated at an individual lab station with all their study material out. Great, you were the last one to show up.

“Hey, sorry for being late!” you walked up to Trey, mentally berating yourself for your lack of punctuality. 

“It’s no problem. I haven’t started going over the experiment so you’re actually not late at all,” he replied, “You can go ahead and sit at that lab station on the left.”

Sitting down at the station, you made eye contact with Deuce who was situated at the station farthest from you. He quickly averted your gaze and turned away, making an attempt to hide his face despite there being nowhere to hide. Your face twitched in confusion at his unusual behavior. Had you done something to offend him? Nothing that you could recall.

Wanting to get to work, you simply brushed it off as him wanting to focus on the lab that he was working on. He had been working extra hard to be a student that his mother could be proud of, after all.

You pulled out your previous lab for review and began to go over the steps again. Your head was already starting to pound and the red markings on your paper disheartened you. Picking up a glass filled with a pink liquid, you brought it up to your nose to smell it. Upon doing so, you notice Trey running over to your station just in time to see you turn away from the glass at the smell.

“Hey, watch it!” he warned, his voice full of concern, “That one’s toxic! It says so right there before the procedures.”

“What? I thought it was that one that’s toxic!” you pointed at glass with a jelly-like blue substance.

“No, I even labeled each of the glasses,” Trey turned the glass and pointed at the label that clearly highlighted your mistake, “Plus they’re completely different colors too.”

You buried your reddening face upon realizing how obvious your mistake had been. Despite the amount of studying and effort you put into this class, you were still held back by such elementary errors. If you couldn’t pass the retake lab, you would have to take extra lessons with Crewel. It was that punishment that was pushing you over the edge. 

The thought of spending any free time with him would make any student shiver, but it irked you even more because of how harsh he was on you in specific. Crewel, being a sadist and knowing that you were deficient in magical ability, took it upon himself to particularly pick on you. You were trying your best and you still couldn’t see any way that you would be able to pass. This feeling of frustration was unbearable.

And so, you did what any person who has experienced such wear-and-tear would do. You began to cry. It was a rare sight to see since you had always been the type of person that wouldn’t let things get to you. It even surprised Trey a little; even still, he managed to reach out to you.

“Hey, don’t stress about it,” Trey said, placing a hand on your back and rubbing circles in an effort to console you, “I know it’s frustrating but it’s really just a little mistake. You’re smart and diligent, so I know you can do it.”

“I’m sorry,” your shoulder shook as you tried to stop your tears, “I really don’t mean to cry. I don’t usually break this easily but I just don’t understand why I’m having such a hard time with this.”

“It’s okay to cry, so don’t beat yourself up too much about it. This lab was a really hard one. I can understand why you’re frustrated,” Trey’s words calmed you, “I’ll help you with it so don't worry, alright?”

His warm tone put you at ease and made it easy to calm down. He had always been so kind and reliable that it made you forget your worries for just a little while. It was enough time for you to be able to clear your head and think straight.

“You’re right,” you wiped your eyes, “The idea of having to sit in a room with Crewel for longer than I have to really scares me…but that won’t happen because I’m determined to pass and I have a great tutor.”

“That’s what I like to hear!” Trey spoke, glad that you had found the motivation to keep pushing yourself, “Let’s start the experiment again from the beginning. I’ll explain everything to you slowly so ask me if you have any questions, okay?”

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

You clapped your hands together as you successfully completed the last step of the lab. The potion, which had emitted a strange green smoke the last time you had attempted the lab, now had a brilliant blue shine. 

“I can’t believe I did it,” you rejoiced, “What would I do without you?”

“It was all you!” Trey answered, “I just gave a few pointers, that’s all.”

“Thank you, Trey! I’ll definitely pass the lab thanks to you,” you threw your arms around Trey in a hug, grateful that he had been so patient with you. However, your show of gratitude was cut short when you heard a clattering of glass and metal.

You and Trey both pulled away from the hug to look for the source of the commotion, but you didn’t miss the light pink that dusted his cheeks and ears. You made eye contact with Deuce who was simultaneously trying to avert your gaze and pick up all of the tools that he had dropped onto the floor.

“You’re starting to get the hang of this so I’ll leave you to it,” Trey laughed nervously looking in Deuce’s direction, “Plus it really looks like he really needs help so…”

You made a mental note to tease Deuce about the scene later. More importantly, you wanted to ask him why he was acting so strange. You and Grim would be heading over to Heartslabyul later today to meet up with Ace and Deuce anyways.

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

“Hey, Tweedledum and Tweedledee! Open up,” you knocked on the dorm door, cat in arms, “Grim’s heavy so hurry it up!”

“Geez, what’s with the nickname?” Ace pouted as he opened the door. You hurried in and settled Grim down on the bed.

“The bastard insisted that I carry him here and fell asleep when I said no!” you spoke noticeably out of breath.

“Well, I’m glad that you’re here now, but I have to go,” Ace spoke quickly, already heading towards the door.

“What?” you glared, annoyance clear in your tone, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Before I ran all the way over here?”

“Yeah, why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Deuce chimed in suddenly. He looked slightly panicked, his eyes warning Ace to stay.

“It just came up right now! It’s no big deal, you guys can just hang out together without me,” Ace said, one foot out the door, “I won’t mind I swear!”

“Ace!” you and Deuce called out at the same time, but he had already ran off, shutting the door before either of you could get ahold of him. After a sigh, a silence settled within the room.

“What’s wrong with that guy, seriously?” Deuce broke the silence. His bed shifted as you sat down next to him.

“Well…what now?” you asked. Ace had planned on showing you and Deuce a new spot to eat, so without him, your plans were completely ruined. Deuce responded to your question with silence.

You turned your face to look at him only to find that he was already looking at you. He was close. So close that you could see every little detail in his eyes. His cyan eyes shone brilliantly, and in the middle of them, you saw your reflection. Seeing your own face snapped you back to reality. He was so close. Your face began to heat up and you turned away in embarrassment. Why were you staring for so long?

“Oh, sorry!” Deuce apologized frantically, “I didn’t mean to stare!” Though you were still turned away from him to hide yourself after appearing so flustered, you took a quick glance at your friend to see that his expression matched yours. The tension in the room broke as you let out a quiet chuckle after seeing that you were both thinking the same thing. It was funny to see that you two could be so similar sometimes.

Why was it suddenly so tense between you two? It hadn't been like this before. Remembering that Deuce had been acting strange all day, you finally got to asking what was on your mind all day.

“Hey, Deuce,” he turned his attention to you when you spoke, “What’s up with you today?” After saying it, you realized that maybe your words were a bit too direct. You couldn’t help it! This awkward atmosphere was new when it came to Deuce.

“Ah, you noticed?” he scratched the back of his head and took a moment before giving you an answer, “Truth is, I was surprised to see you at that study session.”

“Why? You know I’m no genius when it comes to alchemy,” you laughed, “And didn’t Ace tell you that Trey was gonna start tutoring me?” His face showed the slightest hint of agitation when you spoke his upperclassman’s name.

“He did! But he never told me that you were in the same study group as me,” he looked away, “I guess, maybe I felt a little embarrassed that you saw me there.” You gave him a confused look. It was no secret that your whole trio isn’t exactly the most…academically capable. If you included Grim into the mix, your combined gpa would sink even lower. To hear Deuce admit that he felt embarrassed about it shocked you.

“You know I wouldn’t judge, right? I don’t think I’m even allowed to judge since I was there too.” you joked.

“I know, I know but,” he continued, “It’s just that…Clover knows so much about everything, and he’s so dependable. I want to be like that someday too! Seeing you get so excited after he taught you how to do the lab. I guess it made me a little…I don’t know what to call it!” There it was! The perfect opportunity to poke fun at him.

“Hehe, is that jealousy that I sense?” you teased, literally poking his cheek.

“No! It’s not jealousy! It’s…” he trailed off before admitting it, “Okay, I guess it is jealousy.”

“Finally!” you shouted, flopping down into his lap, “I’m so glad we cleared that up because the tension was seriously killing me!”

“H-hey, don’t you realize the implications of me being jealous?” he panicked when your face was suddenly looking up at him from his lap.

“Implication? Pretty big word, don’t you think?” you laughed it off, “I know what it means. So, let’s study together.”

“Huh?” he really didn’t understand you sometimes.

“Yeah well, Ace ditched us so we have nothing to do,” you spoke, still looking up at him, “and I honestly zoned out a little when Trey was going over some of the steps. I remember you looking really focused when he went over to help you, so I’m sure you have a few things that you could teach me.”

With your words, Deuce’s face lit up. It wasn’t direct, but he knew that this was your odd way of saying you believed in his academic ability. You were coming to him for help even though you had connections with students that earned perfect scores. You were counting on him to help you and he wasn’t about to let you down.

“Alright, we’ll go over the lab together then,” he spoke confidently, “where did you start zoning out?”

“Err, to be honest…I think we need to go over the whole thing again. I know I did it right during the tutoring session but…I was just following Trey’s directions. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about.” ‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

D!!! Written in red with three exclamation points and circled more times than you could count.

“WHAT?” you cried out, “How could that be!”

It was a few days after you and Deuce took your lab retake. You had spent the whole night before studying with Deuce. He went over each and every step with you, simplifying his words so that it was easier for you to understand. (Was it really for you or was it because his vocabulary was more limited than he'd like to admit?)

“Really such a shame,” you jumped at Crewel’s voice behind you, “If you had answered even one more of the questions at the end of the lab correctly, you would’ve just barely passed. Looks like I’ll have to see your face more often during this break.”

You groaned, slumping down in your seat. More time with Crewel. Could anything be more dreadful? Despite your dilemma, you couldn’t help but wonder about Deuce. You wondered if he passed and whether or not he would be disappointed in you for failing again even after getting help. You avoided Ace and Deuce as class ended, but as you walked down the halls, a hand found itself on your shoulder.

“So, how’d you do?” it was Ace with a big smile on his face, “Yikes! I’m guessing not so well based off of the look on your face.”

“Whatever, asshole. Where’s Deuce? Did he pass?” you hoped that he had done better than you did.

“Yeah, he’s being interrogated by Crewel right now for cheating,” Ace answered, “He got a high C!”

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding. Deuce worked so hard to pass and you were relieved that his efforts were not made in vain. In a way, you felt that his score was a victory for you too. The logic wasn’t really all there but you wouldn’t admit that. 

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

Later that afternoon, you found yourself at Ace and Deuce’s dorm again. Grim wanted to play Spelldrive with some Savanaclaw students, so you were there alone. A few knocks on the door later and the door creaked open with Deuce’s face peering out from it.

“Oh, it’s you,” he opened the door wider so that you could come in, “Ace stepped out just now by the way.”

“That’s fine, I came here to see you anyways.” you replied.

“I’m guessing you didn’t do too hot on the retake, right?” he got it right away.

“H-how did you guess??” you knew you were horrible at alchemy but were you really so bad that he knew you wouldn’t pass?

“Well first off, it was written all over your face! I saw you after class while Crewel was lecturing me on the importance of academic honesty,” he shivered as he recalled his chat with the professor, “Secondly, you weren’t exactly paying attention while I was helping you prepare for the lab.”

“I was paying attention!” you retorted, “Didn’t you see how hard I was working?”

“I saw you staring at me the whole time! I didn’t have the heart to tell you to stop…” he admitted, putting his arms around you as he saw your expression drop.

“I was just thinking really hard!” you whined. “I’m stuck with Crewel all break now.”

Your head dropped onto Deuce’s chest as you thought about the hell you would have to endure during break. 

“It’s over for me.” you cried, voice muffled by Deuce’s jacket as he put his arms around you. For a while, the two of you just stood like this. Deuce’s arms felt so comforting, it felt as though his embrace swallowed you whole. You felt so content like this that you almost forgot why you were so distressed in the first place. After thinking, Deuce finally spoke.

“I’ll help you.”

“What?”

“I’ll study harder than I ever have before and I’ll teach you all of it! That way, maybe you’ll get out of Crewel’s lessons early,” he spoke excitedly, “and then as a reward, maybe we could hang out together.”

“But we hang out all the time,” you laughed. 

“I mean…without Ace,” Deuce was glad that you couldn’t see his face reddening right now.

“Like…a date?” you asked, your face still in his jacket.

“Y-yeah, something like that,” he spoke hurriedly, “I could take you out on a drive on my Magic Wheel.” He recalled the wonder in your eyes when you saw him riding it around a track for the first time.

“Alright then, it’s a date!” you confirmed, “If I manage to pass, that is. Oh yeah! How did the whole cheating thing with Crewel go?”

“Well I really did do the lab all on my own so he had nothing to use against me,” he answered, “and he brought in the housewarden who told him that I have a clean, honest record.”

“I would kill to have seen the look on his face after that!” you reveled in the idea of Crewel being wrong and having to admit it.

“It was a little scary. Trust me you wouldn’t want to see it,” he convinced you.

“You’re seriously on your way to being an honors student now!” you said, “A high C! And Riddle stood up for you? What a scholar!”

“Right?” he spoke excitedly, “I think I’m finally making big steps towards being a great ma-” His sentence was cut short by a knocking, more like a banging, on the door.

“Hey! Are you guys done in there?” you heard Ace’s voice on the other side, “Riddle’s after me! Let me in, guys seriously!” The moment that Deuce ever so slightly cracked the door open, Ace quickly came pouring in, tripping on his own feet. “You guys took forever!”

“What happened?” Deuce asked.

“While I was giving you guys alone time for your coupley stuff, the housewarden caught me lounging around and said I could make better use of my time,” Ace explained, “Tried to get me to paint a whole garden! He’s seriously cra-”

“Coupley stuff? What do you mean by that?” you cut him off.

“Please don’t tell me that you didn’t even realize,” Ace shut his eyes tight, “If I went through all of that trouble to set you guys up and you’re still not together…I’ll be seriously pissed.”

“Y-you were setting us up?” Deuce asked, his face reddening.

“Oh come on!” Ace shouted, “Recommending the same tutor? Leaving you guys in the dorm together? You guys really didn’t notice all that hard work?”

“To be honest,” you started, “we were just kinda pissed that you ditched us.”

“Yeah! I mean no explanation or anything? Seriously?” Deuce added. You nodded after him and mumbled agreements.

“Well you guys might be pissed but I’m honestly the real mastermind here!” Ace boasted, “Hey! Guys don’t ignore me…guys?”

As Ace bragged about his achievements, you and Deuce had already started to leave the room while Ace sat there blankly.

“I’m sure they’ll appreciate it once they realize what I’ve done for them,” he stated.

Though you wouldn’t admit it, Ace really did contribute to the relationship that started between you and Deuce. Guess this was something that you could admit wasn’t done “100% by yourself.”

[familyvideostevie]

i never really request anything from authors but you have just single-handedly written my favorite steve harrington fic on this whole entire planet. i love it so much i reread it after finishing the 4th part!! thank you for writing such a brilliant fic. can i request steve’s pov to coming home after reader leaves on halloween and how he felt when he meets them at the bonfire spot? Anyways thank you for writing this fic now i want to go to the farmers market every weekend. <3

hi!!! you are so wonderful! your favorite fic EVER? my goodness, you're too nice to me. I'm so glad you loved it!! i've gone with your later request, so here's steve's POV of when he and bee girl meet up at the lake! steve agrees to meet bee girl at lover's lake after halloween, steve's POV [0.9k] a no good at waiting one-shot, au masterlist __

Steve doesn't totally know why he's doing this. A part of him -- a bitter, angry, ugly part -- wants to leave you waiting by the lake all night. Because he didn't deserve to be left like that. He didn't and he knows it. He has a right to be mad, a right to not to speak to you on the phone, even if Hopper chewed him out for being a bit of a coward for it.

Plus, you weren't at the market this weekend and he's a little worried despite himself.

But more than anything he thinks he deserves to know why. And in order to find out, he has to talk to you. And so here he is, driving in the freezing dark to Lover's Lake. The main thing he's worried about is that he'll forgive you too fast. That he'll see you and want to touch you, want to kiss you, want to brush it all aside and pretend it never happened. But he shouldn't so he won't.

He parks next to you and takes a deep breath. It'll be fine. His chest hurts and he forces a deep breath into it before hopping out of the truck and heading for yours.

As soon as he gets in your passenger seat he knows that this was a mistake. It smells like you and he has to shove his hands in the pocket of his coat so he doesn't pull you to him. He quickly looks you up and down -- truthfully, you look awful. Like you haven't slept in days. Maybe you actually have been ill.

"Hey," he says, biting the bullet. "Are you okay? You weren't at the market on Saturday."

You look away from him. "I'm fine." He wonders if you know that you flare your nostrils when you lie. "Are you okay?"

Steve thinks about lying. About telling you that he's fine, that he's cold, that he doesn't know why you're here. That he wants to go home and forget about all of this. But being this close to you makes his chest ache and he wants to stop being miserable so he tells the truth. "Honestly? Not really."

"Steve--" you start, but he wants to get it out before he gives up.

"I wasn't going to come," he says, then shakes his head. Stop lying, Steve. "No, sorry, that's not true. I've been jumping every time the phone rings for almost a week, hoping it's you. But I can't bring myself to answer it. I've been desperate to see you again but I also can't look at you because it makes me sad."

You look utterly heartbroken. He feels no satisfaction in it, only like his own heart is splintering too. So he tells you that he wants to fix this because it's true, because he's halfway in love with you if not across the finish line already and he can't imagine things ending like this.

And then you tell him why you left. And his mind is racing to keep up because it's not him, it's not something he did, it's you. It's the fact that you love him. It echoes in his mind like a tape stuck in his car. I'mfallinginlovewithyouI'mfallinginlovewithyou. He's so stuck on it that he doesn't react at all, only blinks, wondering what on earth he's going to say next. You're falling in love with him and you're scared. Well, shit, he thinks, get in line.

"I understand how that's scary," he says carefully. He clenches his fists and fights to keep his voice even. "I just don't know why you'd leave instead of telling me how you were feeling."

"I wish I could take that back." His heart sinks like a stone and he looks away. Maybe this is worse, you loving him but still regretting all of it. "Do you regret everything else, too? Having sex? Everything before?"

But you tell him no, your voice pleading and it almost cracks him. But he's got to say his piece still, stick up for himself a little.

"Do you get why you leaving like that hurt?" he asks. You chew on your lip and his eyes track the movement as he keeps going, as he tells you, begs you to understand that you messed up.

But you take it too far, think the worst of him.

"I understand if you can't forgive me--"

"I didn't say that," he interrupts, tone a hair from desperate. Because that's not true. If there's anything he's sure of it's that he wants to come back from this. He wants to hold you, wants to make you smile. He wants to figure this out, but the car is starting to feel claustrophobic and he knows he's not going to be able to resist touching you for much longer.

And, if he's being honest with himself, he's a little scared now, too. He loves you, he thinks. He loves you and you love him and that's so terrifying and wonderful at the same time he feels like he's choking on it.

So he asks for the opposite of what he wants. "I just need some space, I think. Okay?" He can't fight his next move: the gentle brush of his knuckles on your cheek. Your breath shudders out of you and he almost kisses you right then just to stop you from looking so damn sad.

He spends the drive home wondering why he feels like crying.

[lollytea]

Controversial opinion off anon edition: I do not like the Hunter vs Amity trope. The genuine versus, like Amity and Hunter not being able to stand in a room together type of genuine. I like the idea of Amity and Hunter having an unspoken understanding of each other, since they came out of similar situations where someone else was trying to tell them how to be. They both managed to break free of it and find themselves. A common reason I see for the trope is “Hunter threatened Luz in front of Amity and she could never forgive that after trying to offer him friendship” but nearly everyone has threatened Luz after an offer, he’s not somehow special or held to a different expectation.

Another reason why I want them to be friends instead is because I hc Amity and Hunter as autistic and, being autistic myself, I think it’s funny when they hate crime each other. Literally every time I think of them going at it I picture the 2020 meme on Twitter about “girls w autism vs guys w autism”.

YEAH. In fairness I don't really see people putting any genuine animosity between Amity and Hunter in their content lately. It used to be a huge thing but has died down a significant amount. But yeah it's just. They like each other, man. Hunter has liked Amity since he met her. Eclipse Lake is a very funny rewatch if you focus on how Hunter just seemed to decide that Amity was his new bestie, undeterred by the fact that she was adamantly rejecting it.

I cannot imagine Amity possibly holding the terrible things Hunter did against him. Because Amity understands exactly why he did them more clearly than anyone else could. She understands just how desperate and scared you get when you're under your abusive parent's thumb and the terrible decisions you make as a result. Why would Amity blame him? She's been him.

I DO think that their relationship is initially a little awkward tho. Especially from Hunter's end. While Amity thinks everything's gucci between them, he still feels guilty and embarrassed over what he did to her in Eclipse Lake and assumes she still resents him over it. She doesn't. Like it never even crossed her mind that this would be a thing that he's worried about. She knows he's a lot like her so she tries to look out for him and treat him how she would like to be treated.

That's always been my interpretation of how they both behaved in TTT during the cosplay scene. Amity is a former mean girl. She used to be soooo blunt and judgemental. And you can see her struggling not to give her honest opinion on Hunter's fit. Because Amity doesn't want to be mean. She's nice. She wants to be nice. However....she knows damn well that if that boy steps out in public looking like that, somebody is gonna bully him (because in another universe SHE'D bully him) so she'd prefer to avoid that. So she tells him to change as politely as she can.

Meanwhile, Hunter agrees to change immediately, despite Willow and Gus ADORING his fit, despite HIM adoring his fit, and Willow begging him to keep it on. Hunter listens to Amity over Willow. Think about that for two seconds and wonder why that is.

In my opinion, he's tiptoeing around her. He's trying to keep the peace. He tried to kill her and threatened her girlfriend. He's gonna do whatever the fuck Amity Blight tells him to with a smile on his face. Amity is none the wiser.

However I don't imagine this will last much longer. They're absolutely going to become much more comfortable with each others after the events of the series and won't be nearly as awkward and careful.

Amity and Hunter are both very high strung, opinionated, passionate people. I know that if there was ever a topic they disagreed on, they would go to war over it. I'm talking a full blazing shouting match in Camila's living room. They're besties <3

[skzstoryvault]

Pastel Crimes (fluff, comfort)

F!Reader x Chan

Chan and his wife attend the wedding of someone in her family.

This is in no way connected or meant to be a reflection of the real person Bang Chan.

This is pure fantasy. Everyone would envy whoever married Bang Chan, no matter who they were. I thought this would be a very juicy, satisfying scenario.

Since it's a white people wedding, expect some micro-aggressions and boomer racism. Reader's family is misogynistic towards her.

The story stops right as the smut starts.

The "you" used here is not generic, I'm using it to allow myself some immersion on later re-reads. I know that's selfish but isn't all the writing advice telling us to write what we want to read? If you still find something in here to like, all the better - I hope you enjoy it and have a good time.

Please be kind.

Please do not report this post. If it's not your thing, just scroll away.

If you're underage, please scroll on, there is nothing for you here.

***

“Your old aunt called me an oriental,” Chan says, causing a shiver of dread to go down your spine.

“She what now?!” You splutter. “Fuck me, she hit the bottle again, because when she’s sober she at least keeps her mouth shut. I’m really sorry, Channie. I… There’s really nothing that excuses it.” “You have nothing to apologise for. Old white people are racist and have no filter, but I knew that. I’ve been called worse.” “And at a wedding, too. See? This is why I never go to these things. I mean, on top of all of my family insisting that I’m gay and unemployed despite all evidence pointing to the contrary. Every time we all meet it’s just… this shit.” “Hey, you’re doing great navigating this. And I’m having fun. The food is great, there’s some nice folks our age around and the bride and groom are lovely.” He says, amused. He’s a way better, classier person than you are, because you are ready to go out there and start a fight. “Besides, it’s nice to not be the centre of attention for a bit." "You know, calling me oriental the way people refer to those skinny long cats who pile together and meow your head off… that was kind of cute.” Chan carries on. “She saw us playing with the flower girls earlier and she asked me why I hadn’t put a couple of those in you yet. And why we’re married, if not to fuck with impunity. Something your sister and BIL also asked, in a less direct way. I guess they do believe you’re gay and I’m somehow just a very charitable friend who agreed to be your full time beard?” Mortification steals your breath, you want to say so much and nothing seems an adequate first reaction so you just gasp and hiss. “Channie- “ You start, feeling on the brink of tears. This is why you are low, low contact with your family. They openly told you you could do better, way better than your husband. He’s not tall enough. Not pretty enough, not rich enough, not white, and they just know all your kids would look fully Asian because the Korean gene would totally drown out the white one. You, on the other hand, know there is no better husband than Chan. He’s hot as all hell, is fiercely protective of you and, most importantly, he loves and genuinely sees an equal in you. You’re best friends and support each other through everything, and you genuinely enjoy each other’s company even ten years after getting married. The name thing is also a point of contention. You both kept your own surnames, since in Korea women don’t take the husband’s family name. But to your family, that’s just further proof you’re just married for the tax break and to dispel all allegations of you being gay. 

“I think it’s grand,” Chan continues. “They just don’t know you and never bothered to, and I think for that crime, they deserve to never be taken off the low information diet. You’d think that for being an only child, you’d be more loved. Like Hyunjin. His parents worship the ground he walks on.” “Hyunjin was a wanted child. And notably, a boy.” You say, sighing. “I’ve been justifying my existence since I was plopped out onto this Earth. Always asking for permission and apologising for daring to exist and wanting to do anything.” 

“You’re the treasure beneath my exploded church,” Chan says, referencing a book you gave him around the beginning of your relationship. Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist. “I’m so happy I got to know you and had the exceptional wisdom to make you my wife. Your family doesn't deserve you.” 

Family. This was a big theme all along the eleven years you’ve known each other. Chan having the seven members and viewing them as his actual children because he was and still is responsible for them. Them seeing him as their dad and cheekily testing his authority, but never his love. 

You somehow ending up not as a mom figure, but acting as a consigliere to Chan, like in a mafia hierarchy. His members now respect and love you just as much as they do their leader. 

“You and the members are my family. And I don’t care that we’re atypical and not the usual dad, mom and bio kids deal.” You say. “All of my older relatives and even my parents, they’ve been married for a lifetime but they can’t stand each other. They are just too scared to leave because divorce is lawyers and court and hassle and for the women, poverty. So they do not get to judge our relationship or you.” 

“Come here, baby. Real close.” Chan whispers, opening his arms. “Channie’s gonna make it all good.” 

You blush. Even after all this time, his comforting voice and freely offered hugs work on you like a charm. 

He enfolds you in his arms and brings you even closer to him, glueing you to his front and guiding your head to one of his shoulders, placing a dry kiss to your neck and sighing. It’s from this close that you feel it- “Chris? What’s the occasion?” You ask, lifting your head to look into his eyes. What could have given him a hard-on right now? It can’t have been the racism or the dysfunctional family interactions. 

“Uh- I-” He starts, folding an arm up and scratching the back of his neck. It’s one of his tells for when he’s nervous or embarrassed. “I haven’t told you just how hot you look in this dress. I’ve been managing a semi all day.” “Never change. God, please never change.” You say, shifting so you can kiss him. “You look smoking hot in the three piece suit too. Been wanting to tear you out of it in one of the upstairs bedrooms.”

You know he doesn’t believe you when you say he looks beautiful and hot in any outfit he puts on. But he’s grateful you’re always thinking of having your way with him, despite his lingering insecurities. Those aren’t just easily dissolved with a compliment or two. And it’s honest every time. He insisted you straighten his hair and he styled it the way company stylists used to for going on stage. He wore thin gold rim glasses instead of contacts to be comfortable and the suit he got matches with your dress. Both suit and dress are a vibrant chicory blue and he wore a white shirt with the first two buttons open and a midnight blue and gold pocket square. In your eyes, he outshone the groom, and the bride too, although you both fit into the dress code. But he cannot help being the hottest man at every gathering because he’s your husband and everyone is always drawn to him. Which is why you’re always thanking your luckiest stars for him. “You look amazing in the suit. And you looked even better when you took off the jacket to play with the kids. I was drooling watching you, and my sister thought I was looking at the kids and wanting some. I didn’t have the heart to tell her what I was thinking at the time.” You say, amused at the memory. “I wish she would get off your back. Other than your old aunt with no filter, everyone else is giving me zero stress about kids. It’s not fair you get all the pressure and I get none. But I get why.” 

“Eh. In one ear, out the other.” You say. “I’ve been wanting to get you out of this suit all day.” He’s already undressing, careful but still hurrying. "Don't rush, baby, that's Valentino." You say, unzipping your dress and letting it fall to the floor, which leaves you in just a tiny string panty. “We do have the time.” He says, looking very affected by the sight of you. “By the time anyone misses us, we’ll be back.” “Don’t sell yourself short, Channie. You know I’m never done with you and you can go on for ages.”  “Yeah, good point. Well, I hope they don’t come looking for us then.” 

"It wouldn't be the worst if they did." You point out, taking his hand and pulling him close. "Might put those gay allegations to rest." He giggles. "According to Andrew Tate it's gay to have sex with your wife any time it doesn't result in a baby." Chan scoffs, clutching invisible pearls in mock- outrage. "Oh no! Turns out we were both gay this whole time!" He says, right before you two exchange a look and dissolve into giggles.

[cyberrat]

83rd Batch Of Fics: 7th Fill

Hanzo/Cassidy – jealousy; possessiveness; aftercare – Hanzo does a little bit of growing, as a treat.

---

Hanzo takes a couple steps closer, then stops again, his hands hidden behind his back as he can’t help how his fingers are shaking just the tiniest bit. He is not afraid – he is simply nervous, staring at Cassidy on the ground.

And maybe he is angry, too, though not because someone else has put their hands on him; but because they have just left him to sit there like some discarded trash to get himself back in order.

“You look pathetic,” he hears himself say through a thick fog, though the contempt in his voice is missing.

Cassidy smiles, crooked teeth and all, and nods in agreement. “Yeah. Reckon I do.” He extends one hand toward Hanzo who can’t help but step closer, reaching out and grasping Cassidy’s wrist while Cassidy grabs his in turn.

He stems against the massive weight of the Alpha, but Cole’s knees are not really working along and he sinks back to the ground with a soft curse.

“Damn… ah… sorry ‘bout that. I really do seem ‘t get old.”

Hanzo’s mouth flattens into a line. It’s difficult to really pin the other down age-wise, but he’d think he’s about… twenty years his senior. That’d make him somewhere between forty and fifty.

“You’re just exhausted. And you drink too much booze.”

“That I do,” Cole agrees so readily, so placidly, that Hanzo can’t help the soft laugh he breathes out through his nose. He squats down next to him, taking care to not touch any of the cum stains with his expensive leather shoes. Placing his forearms on his knees, he quietly contemplates Cole.

“I can’t carry you like this. You’re too heavy.”

Cole laughs again softly, but his eyes are off to the side; like he’s suddenly unable to look at Hanzo.

“Awfully nice of ya to offer. It’s alright. I’ll just sit here for a bit longer. Pull myself back together.”

Hanzo hums softly. He looks around and spots Cole’s clothes half kicked behind the bar’s countertop. He gets up and steps around them, picking them off the floor and slowly folding them nice and neat despite them already being wrinkled and smelling of sweat.

He can feel himself calming down a tad and by the time he turns back around, he doesn’t feel oh so feral anymore when he sees the Alpha sitting there; big and hairy and looking so much like an Apex Predator that Hanzo wonders once more how he could let himself get treated like this.

By them. By him.

“I… don’t know how to help you,” he says in a low voice, one hand still on the clothes he’s put folded onto the countertop. “...But I would like to.” It’s a lot more vulnerable a thing to say than he is strictly comfortable with, but with Cassidy sitting fucked and naked on the floor in a slowly expanding puddle of cum that is slipping from his ruined hole…

There’s not much that they could say or do to each other at the moment that would feel more like dropping their damn pants. The thought has him smile crookedly himself.

“Mmhhh sweet pup… you’re gonna be a real service top soon if ya keep up sweet talkin’ like that.”

Hanzo glances back toward Cole. The old Alpha looks… touched, he thinks. Thankful.

“I’d love a glass of water. And something to keep warm?”

Hanzo hums and pushes off the countertop. He looks around the tavern and finds a couple of old jackets someone forgot hanging at the door. With how hot the desert becomes during the day, he doesn’t doubt that they’ve been here for a good few months. He shakes the dust and sand off of them and returns with his findings to Cassidy who managed to at least get himself against the countertop of the bar so he can lean against it.

Hanzo squats down in front of him and puts one of the jackets over his torso, the other he throws across his lap.

“It’s all I’ve been able to find,” he says, albeit a little sheepishly. He’s still stuck on Cassidy calling him a service top. He’s never heard the term but it’s no rocket science to figure out what it might mean. And he kind of enjoys it.

Hanzo clears his throat when Cassidy mumbles about how this is just perfect with a little crooked grin on his face. He can’t tell whether he’s just pleased about Hanzo taking care of him or whether he is amused by how awkward he is being during it. Maybe both.

He pulls away to get him his glass of water and a few moments later they’re right back in the same position, Hanzo anxiously watching as Cassidy takes a few sips. The older Alpha lets his head thump back against the worn wood of the bar. His eyes are closed as he murmurs: “I can practically hear you freaking out. Just calm down. It’s all good. I’m fine. Gonna be damn sore tomorrow, though.”

Hanzo grunts softly and turns his head away. He tries to tamp down on it all. The way he wants to hover and how his body is releasing that anxious scent.

“Just… breathe, kid.”

Hanzo closes his eyes and does as he’s told. It… helps, quite honestly. He feels like he’s more in control of himself. Of the situation. It occurs to him, as he sits there and slowly opens his eyes again, staring at Cassidy’s relaxed face, that he’s let go of a lot of anger since coming here.

His flight touched down with him hopped up on a dizzying cocktail of hate and anger and lust, fucking it out in that airport bathroom stall, and it only went downhill from there. In a good kind of way. He hasn’t felt this centered in a long while.

Hanzo reaches out and lightly drags his fingertips through Cassidy’s coarse beard. The old Alpha’s eyes snap open, belying how calm he had looked.

His bone deep relaxation is just a very thin front that he puts up. In some way, it is rather comforting to see that even an Apex Alpha like this one doesn’t just shake off a night of getting fucked over and over again.

They stare at each other, Cole’s face starting to close off as he realizes that he might have given away more of himself than he really intended to.

Hanzo reaches more for him, his palm now cupping the side of his jaw, thumb slowly dragging against his cheekbone, feeling the coarseness of his skin and a small muscle nervously twitching underneath.

“For what it’s worth… I do not think many others would have the strength to do what you do. You almost make it look dignified.”

Cassidy’s eyes narrow, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Almost,” he echoes softly and turns his head to the side, ostensibly staring out one of the tavern windows at the glowing edge of the moon just about still visible in its frame.

He has not pulled his face out of Hanzo’s hand, though, so Hanzo keeps touching him for just a moment longer before slowly pulling away and sitting next to him with a soft grunt, both of them just hanging on to their own melancholy thoughts.

Hanzo’s stay here wouldn’t last forever. In fact, it is starting to come to a close rapidly – and he is not exactly ready for that.

[ryuichirou]

Hey I recently read your opinion on leona, I adore leona but your analysis on his is everything me and my friends have been saying! I honestly don't think his character is there except for older fans ,since he is 20, to be attracted to. Can I ask your opinion on characters like Jamil? I personally think his hate twords kalim is misguided as it's not kalims fault that they are in the positions they are in. I also wanna know what you think of vil! I have a pretty negative look on him since he seems to be so egotistical and it's almost as if he decides what is proper or beautiful and what isn't. That just rubs me the wrong way, like it feels wrong! Oh! Call me 👾anon!

Hi, 👾Anon! Sorry for the late reply. Whenever I get asks like this one, I always end up replying like a week late, because I really want to collect my thoughts and make sure that I’ve said everything that I wanted to say… And since I love both Jamil and Vil very much and am quite passionate about talking about both of them, this is probably going to be quite a long reply lol, I hope that’s fine with you. In any case, thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about them, I’ll do my best to reply to you properly.

First of all, I’m glad to hear that you agree with my points on Leona despite being his fan. It is unfortunate that he underdelivers as a character, because he does have potential, but oh well. I also think that you made a good point here – he does seem to be quite popular in that particular side of fandom. Not saying that this is a bad thing necessarily, just not our thing, I guess.

Alright, about Jamil.

I’ve talked about Kalim and Jamil’s relationships in this reply, so sorry if I repeat myself. I really love how difficult their situation is. In my opinion, it’s the situation when no one is really guilty, but at the same time both of them kind of are to some extent.

I agree that Jamil’s hatred towards Kalim is misguided, but at the same time think that it’s easily understandable, maybe even justified to some degree, simply because in Jamil’s eyes Kalim symbolizes the thing he actually hates – the unfair system that forced their roles on them. And Kalim is a direct beneficiary of the said system and participates in it, even though there is absolutely no malice in this fact from Kalim’s side, this is just the way he was raised, he doesn’t even fully realise how harmful this whole situation is for Jamil. This is exactly why he is so heartbroken when he finds out about Jamil’s true feelings about him and about their relationship; he’s so deeply upset by it that he completely ignores the fact that Jamil’s just betrayed him and yeeted him to the edge of the Earth. Kalim feels so guilty and so bad for Jamil, he blames his own obliviousness and his own naivety that he never noticed that. But I don’t think it would be fair to point fingers at Kalim and say “how could you not notice that? Everything is your fault”: once again, this is how he was raised.

Still, even though after that shocking revelation Kalim is eager to change their relationship with Jamil and proposes to him to stop being his servant right away, this problem won’t be fixed that easily, even if Jamil would’ve agreed to it. The system is very difficult to break: both of them are stuck in it indefinitely, and Jamil knows it. That’s why Jamil’s go-to is to aim all his bitterness and anger at Kalim, who basically owns him.

Of course, Kalim is a sweetheart. And he is definitely not the worst master a servant could have: even though he’s clumsy, naïve, a little dumb, very unreliable and spoiled, he is extremely kind and gentle, fun-loving and overall nice. Even if he lacks the understanding to fully get how severe the gap between him and Jamil is, he loves him dearly and appreciates him, as well as acknowledges all the things that Jamil does for him. And once he realises just how hurt Jamil is, he is very eager to do anything to make him feel better.

But it doesn’t change the fact that Jamil had to hide in Kalim’s shadow since they were kids, had to devote his entire life to Kalim, and had to endanger himself constantly because of Kalim. Kalim is nice and it wasn’t him who forced Jamil into this position, but Jamil’s life is still miserable because of Kalim.

Both of them have much growing up to do; they need to communicate better and to handle this problem together. It’s unfair to blame everything on Kalim, and Jamil should probably get over his grudge, because it takes him nowhere: we’ve all seen how horribly his evil plan in Chapter 4 went. But I still think his feelings are understandable. And Kalim has a lot of things he should probably reflect on as well.

I really love these two.

So yeah, about Vil… Vil, Vil, Vil. My beautiful misunderstood swan lol

Please don’t think that I’m dissing you or any other person for that matter, Anon, but I feel like a lot of people didn’t fully get Vil’s motivation and what the main theme in Chapter 5 was. It was about beauty, but it wasn’t really about any specific beauty standard one has to oblige to be a valid human being. Of course, Vil promotes beauty-care, wears make-up and high heels, but I don’t think this is the ultimate factor he judges other people by. The focus of his story is self-presentation, self-expression and art.

Vil is not only a very beautiful person who does a lot to keep himself beautiful (according to what he himself thinks he wants to look like, please note that he doesn’t really fit an appearance standard for his gender and age: he is a 18 year old boy dressing up as someone’s evil step-mother, for Pete’s sake), he is also a hard-working actor, model and dancer, and who wants to be perceived and appreciated as such, as well as being acknowledged for the amount of effort that goes into achieving that.

During Vil’s flashback scene, some comments the staff members made while discussing Vil and Neige were that Vil is just “way too beautiful and perfect to fit the role of a relatable protagonist”, not verbatim, but something along those lines. So, the problem isn’t really that Neige is prettier than Vil in any way; the problem is that Neige is perceived by others in a completely different light. While Vil is the main character (an antagonist), Vil is celebrated for his beauty and acting skills, called professional, which is a high praise, but not what Vil wants – he keeps being put inside that box that he just can’t get out of.

So Vil, who is very used to working hard to achieve his goals, does the best thing he can do: works even harder, hoping to become a star for the first time in his life. But the thing is, one can’t control the way others perceive them, and one can’t control the way their art is interpreted.

This is like the whole idea behind this chapter: the only thing you can control is whether or not you’re satisfied with your own work. Others might dismiss you even if you work hard, or they can praise you even if you’re dissatisfied with your work, or they might even choose some other person even though you think you deserve it more. Fame is fickle, the way others see you is also fickle, so you shouldn’t  look for other’s approval and shine the way you want to shine. This is Vil’s “beauty” that Rooks wants to protect so much: the way Vil loves theatre, loves performing, loves expressing himself with such passion and honesty.

And as a hard-working person and a huge perfectionist, Vil is strict both to himself and to others. Especially when he’s leading a dancing group, like, he was pretty brutal to other kids with the way he controlled their diet and schedule. But there is a combination of two things we need to keep in mind: first of all, Vil does all of this (dieting, exercising, sleeping schedule, skincare, etc) everyday anyways, so he naturally assumes that others won’t die if they stop whining for a moment and try living like him for a couple of weeks (doesn’t mean he’s right, but still, this is just the way he treats himself anyway, so he doesn’t see it as that huge of a deal); second of all, Vil wasn’t really alright during this whole preparation for the competition period. He was so focused on winning over Neige, it literally resulted in him overblotting because the stakes (and he set them himself!) were way too high and he snapped. So yeah, Vil isn’t perfect, but what I love about him is that he owned up to everything he’d done and actually took responsibility for how brutal their training was. I think the only other person to own up to his mistakes like this was, I don’t know, Riddle probably?

What I love about Vil and Epel’s conflict is how nuanced it is. I’ve said it already: Vil is definitely forcing his own ideals on Epel because he desperately wants to win and thinks that he needs Epel to do so. So yeah, he makes Epel do things he doesn’t want to do. But at the same time, Epel is in the wrong too: what kind of reasoning is “well I don’t wanna do that it’s too girly and lame”? Of course Vil would get mad at that.

This is a spoiler for Chapter 6, so ignore this part if you haven’t played/read it yet, but at a certain point we find out that Rook wasn’t initially a Pomefiore student. And before he joined Pomefiore, his hair was a mess, his skin was a mess, his nails and fingers were a mess and he wore ragged clothes, simply because he didn’t care about how he looked (even though he could’ve easily at least gotten himself some new clothes, the boy is rich). This is where one might chuckle and say “lol Vil forced him to cut his hair and start wearing makeup just so they could look good together”, but this literally isn’t what has happened?? Vil was shook to his core by his looks, of course, but he never forced him to do anything. Long story short, Vil inspired him and helped him, but it was pretty much Rook’s decision first and foremost.

So with Epel, well, these two just rubbed each other the wrong way from the first ever second of their conversation. I feel that Vil thinks he should discipline Epel because of how much conservative junk he has inside of his head. It frustrated Vil, and the way Vil acts frustrated Epel, so of course they attack each other constantly. A lot of their conflict is about their mutual disagreements and difficult relationships between them, not just “well, Vil is forcing Epel to act cute because he doesn’t like village people” or something.

Vil is demanding, and as a house-warden he wants the students from his dorm to take care of themselves, and in that sense he’s a bit of an overly-strict mom at times. Which is… I don’t know, look at it however you want, I just think it’s much deeper than just a guy who’s forcing others to wear concealer. And why is it so much worse than whatever Riddle and Azul are doing, for example? Vil’s rules make more sense and are ultimately focused on self-improvement, at least. I’m saying it as someone who’s never worn make-up, by the way, and I don’t think even Vil would force me to do so lol, but I still respect him deeply. Maybe because he is, in the first place, an artist, and when you look at him that way, it’s pretty easy to see why he is so demanding and strict.

I won’t rant about this topic though, it’s way already too long of a post (and I haven’t said all the things I wanted…), but Vil is much more open-minded than people give him credit for.

So yeah, love him lol