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lgbtally4ever · 9 months

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"There's nothing wrong with you. There's a lot wrong with the world you live in." — Chris Colfer

"If you're not personally free to be yourself in that most important of all human activities — the expression of love — then life itself loses its meaning." — Harvey Fierstein

"Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it's a good place to start." — Jason Collins

It makes me really sad, when I can recognize the many, secretly gay, Korean actors and idols, because they can never have a truly fulfilled life.

I guess they make the choice, between their work lives and fame, or meeting the person, with whom they can find love and a private, personal life.

But, wouldn’t it be a beautiful thing if they could have BOTH?

We tell gay youths: THINGS WILL GET BETTER, but WHEN will things get better for all the people, in all those countries, where LGBTQIA RIGHTS aren’t recognized?

People need to start opening their minds & their hearts to include the LGBTQ Community, so they can live normal lives, too—lives like hetero people take for granted, as their, god-given right.

It’s not ONLY Korea, but that’s where it strikes me at my heart.

There’s only one example, I’ve found, in S Korea, of a gay couple—where a man wanted his partner covered by his health insurance—the article is attached…this was written in Feb. 2023…

Here is an excerpt from the article:

<<South Korea does not recognize same-sex partnerships, but the two men held a symbolic wedding ceremony in 2019, and one of them successfully registered the other as his spouse in February 2020, allowing him access to his employer’s health insurance plan. When the story became public months later, the NHIS swiftly reversed course and revoked his partner’s dependent status. The couple sued to have the benefits restored.

While the court ruled that it could not recognize a de facto marriage between same-sex couples, the principle of equality requires the national health insurance agency to apply equal treatment to all couples, as the NHIS law does not explicitly specify coverage of common law couples. The court found that the NHIS did not treat de facto same-sex couples equally and ruled in favor of the couple accessing health insurance coverage.

The NHIS said it will appeal the ruling to the Supreme Court.

This case is significant for upholding the principles of equality and nondiscrimination. The government should expand protections for same-sex couples and take measures to combat widespread discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people in schools, employment, housing, and other domains, which leaves them highly vulnerable to mistreatment and abuse.

In the region, Australia, New Zealand, and Taiwan have all extended marriage equality to same-sex partners. A recent court ruling in Japan maintained the prohibition on same-sex marriage, but acknowledged that a lack of legal protection for same-sex families violated their rights. Lawmakers in Thailand are considering options to recognize same-sex relations. >>

But, along with the rights, that everyone else has, which are denied to gays—there needs to be an understanding, a learning experience, and the acknowledgement, of the LGBTQ community, so that they can live openly and comfortably, among the other members of society, without fear of being discriminated against, or being treated differently, or having to feel they are different from everyone else.

Others have said it more simply & better than me:

"It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences." — Audre Lorde

"You have to go the way your blood beats. If you don’t live the only life you have, you won’t live some other life, you won’t live any life at all." — James Baldwin

"Some people are blind or ignorant, and you can't be that prejudiced and hateful and go through this world and still be happy." — Dolly Parton

DON’T BE BLIND OR IGNORANT!

#human rights #we are all human #love is a human right #korean idols #kpop #korean actors #korean actresses #Korean entertainment industry #gay idols #gay actors #gay rights #lgbtqia #lgbtq rights #lgbtq community #lgbtq positivity #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia+

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queentheweeb · 2 years

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Momo X Female Reader

A/N: Guess who's back after 3 months XD, ha

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Being a lesbian brought about many more problems than you were anticipating. For starters your dad was super supportive of you, he bought you cringy LGBTQ merch that you wore proudly because there were many children and adults still in the closet unable to freely express themselves. He made sure to go to every pride parade each year, made sure you were comfortable, and defended you against every and all homophobes. Hell, he ran a bunch of them over with his truck at one of the anti-gay rallies and it was only because he was best friends with the Chief of Police that he wasn't in prison. He made the news and everything become quite famous amongst the LGBTQ+ community. He became a spokesman at events and everything in between. Unfortunately, you couldn't say the same thing to your mother. She was one of those Christians that believed every single thing in the bible and would use it against you. You guessed her missing church on Sundays, and eating meat on Fridays just wasn't applicable to her. Neither were all her piercings and two tattoos and dyed hair. I guess it only applies if you're gay because 'God made man and woman procreate or something like that. You weren't too fond of the Christian bible anyway.

"Y/N-chan?" You were brought out of your musings turning to look at your girlfriend Momo. You still couldn't imagine how she ended up choosing you over men. Well, not really that was a debatable topic considering some men were okay. Your dad set the bar pretty damn high for what you would expect in a man so a lot of men disappointed you in the blink of an eye.

"Yes, babe?" You grabbed her hand kissing her palm gently loving how flushed her cheeks got every time you did that. In the beginning, you used to also enjoy making Jirou jealous since Momo rejected her and, on one side you felt bad because rejections are always hard to get over but, on the other hand, you were happy because that means you had a chance. You took a chance and to your utter surprise she had a crush on you and that was the reason why she rejected Jirou. Fast forward to a year later during the second year of U.A the two of you were still going on strong with no sign of relationship strain.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the beach?" You went through a few emotions. One, you were ecstatic because you enjoyed going to the beach, two you were going to see your beautiful girlfriend in a bikini, third other people were going to see her but, that was fine since you were the only one that could touch and enjoy her. Plus, you can fight.

"That would be nice! We are going today?" At her affirmative nod, you moved your face to kiss her lightly before pulling away. "I'm going to go get ready!" You went to move but, she grabbed your hand to draw your attention

"I know you don't like bikinis but, um....can you wear the pretty yellow one? I really like it on you." She was too sweet for this world. You smiled gently nodding yes loving the way her eyes lit up with glee. You left her to go to your room to get ready. You took a breath and packed up your beach bag with a towel, umbrella, snacks, sunscreen, sunglasses, and some clothes. You grabbed other necessities, threw on your bathing suit underneath your shorts and shirt, and left. You made it downstairs seeing everyone was ready including Momo. You saw her talking with Denki and Kirishima. You didn't mind besides Kirishima was gayer than the rainbow and Denki was a pansexual mess. The only one you were wary of was Mineta and Jirou. You hated Mineta and you just didn't like the way that Jirou would still be all touchy-feely with Momo but, thankfully Momo defended herself and knew when to draw boundaries. That's why she was a Queen.

"YOU WANNA FUCKING GO ICY HOT." You rolled your eyes at the shenanigans that always happen with the Pomeranian. That was the class cue to go. Everyone filed out and there were separate conversations with you in the back with Bakugo. Somehow, the two of you always ended up in the back.

"So, when are you going to stop pussyfooting and ask out Todoroki." You side-eyed him quickly adding "Unless you want everyone to find out what we talking about I suggest you be quiet. Unless quiet isn't in your vocabulary." In a way your snark was to get back at him for being mean to people but, in his book that made you cool as fuck and he always managed to squirm his way into your presence to ask for advice, sparring, food, or whatever else. He will never admit you are his gay bestie. Denki would have a fit if he did and so would his pride.

"What the hell makes you think he will agree." At least he stopped faking 80 percent of the time around you.

"Everyone knows you and Kirishima have the hots for both him and Izuku. The four of you would make the most chaotic poly, or quadruple, couple but still manageable. I wouldn't say it if I didn't think Shoto wasn't on the same page. He's just awkward like the rest of you." The little shit hissed at you but, said nothing but looked away.

"You better be fucking right princess." That was the nicest nickname he has ever used on you, it had you shaken. You glanced over at him but, he refused to look back your way meaning the conversation was over. In about 20 minutes everyone made it to the beach and, it wasn't that packed. There were people but, the whole class was able to set up and get comfy. You chose a spot where you can get into the water and watch your stuff.

"Come on babe! Let's go." You turned as Momo tugged you towards the water. You looked and saw she had that cutout neon pink swimsuit you loved. It had a plunging neckline and slits on the sides allowing you to see her squish. Yes, she was squishy and you'll be damned to let anyone say otherwise or make her feel bad.

"Ah man, if I knew there was going to be this many tits I would have come sooner." You looked over to your right and of course, it had to be three grown-ass men ogling every single woman. Damn you knew they didn't get any ever.

"I love the big ones." You heard the second guy snort

"Big tits, small tits, perky tits, saggy tits, what's the difference? Tits are tits." You were still disgusted even though he didn't discriminate. You looked forward back to the Ocean to see Momo coming back towards you looking upset. It had to be Mineta. You looked behind her and saw Shoji tossing Mineta back and forth with the other taking turns to dunk him. You knew it.

"Look at the size of them on her. Holy shit." You felt a vein on your neck appear and an eye twitch. Momo moves your beautiful ass quicker.

"Baby, you would not believe what the hell just happened-" Before she can finish you both turned at the sound of gagging.

"Did you just call her babe? That's fucking gross. What the hell can she do for you? You just haven't been with a real man, that's all. This is all a phase." They stepped closer causing you to activate your quirk.

"Woah, easy there tiger. No harm, no foul. We are just stating a fact. How can a woman know how to please a woman? How you're going to give her children? You can't do none of that without a man-" You cut him off with a fierce uppercut. He was running his mouth so much he didn't even see your hands flying.

"No wonder a woman wouldn't look in any of your directions. All you see women as are objects and breeders. Who the fuck raised you? Did your mom love you? Did your fathers love your mothers? I don't think so because none of that would have ever come out of your mouth. Be real. This is the future, women don't need a man that'll burst in 2 minutes and can't even get her off." You went to stomp off but through over your shoulder "SHE IS A MINOR AND YOU ARE SEXUALLY HARASSING HER." That got the attention of everyone around them and now they were being pressed. Good. As they should be. You kept walking towards the water and once inside you felt arms wrapped around you from behind.

"Don't you ever let their words get to you. Ever. You're all I ever need. You help me emotionally, mentally, verbally, physically, and sexually. You offer so much more than a man let alone those pigs could ever offer...Besides." She squeezed you and turned you around with a smirk "Strap-ons come in different sizes and colors." Your jaw dropped as she sweetly smiled, pecked your cheek, and pulled you back more into the water. Whoever is listening to you, just know she was going to kill you.

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Hoped you guys liked it! It's good to be back as well

#lgbt #anime #manga #fanfic #bnha #mha #fanfiction #quotev #quirks #fluff #x reader #lgbtqiia+#momo x reader #momo yaoyozoru #Momo x Female reader #my hero acadamy #My hero academia

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kcrabb88 · 3 years

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Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!

Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed!

Movies/Documentaries

Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)

God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)

The Half of It: When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!)

Saving Face: A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)

Moonlight: A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)

Carol: An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)

Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)

Pride (Hulu Documentary): A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)

Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!

A New York Christmas Wedding: As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!)

TV Shows

Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)

Sex Education: A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!)

Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.

Gentleman Jack: A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence that will make you gay just by watching!)

Tales of the City (2019): A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!)

The Haunting of Bly Manor: After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)

Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)

Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman: Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)

A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).

Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original.

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston: For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)

The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer!

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters: Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)

(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!)

#I am inevitably forgetting things!!!#These are just ones that came to mind #Long post #Pride

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seattlesea · 3 years

Conversation

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (Part Three)

John: Am I cute

Six: Whatever makes you happy

Marina: Where’s my perfume?

Eight: I drank it

Nine: *squeezes bread* I just really felt like doing that

Five: I feel like doing that to you

Eight: Use your bread you fucking heathen

Five, tucking Maggie and Ella into bed: Night night c*nts

Maggie and Ella, in unison: REEEE

John: *attempts to do something but fails*

Nine: Bitch thought

John: Shut up

Six: Bitch thought

Five: Bitch thought

One: Bitch thought

Eight: Bitch thought

Adam: Bitch thought

John: I hate you guys so fucking much

Eight: Is eating this much cheese even healthy???

John: Raise your hand if you love dogs

Adam: I would but I’m eating goldfish

Five, on an Omegle video chat with a knocked-out Sam and Ella: They're dead

Nine, on the other end of the call: Tell them to get up

Six: Men are dumb. Fuck men. You know, what? To all the ladies in the chat, here's some advice.

Six: Become a lesbian

Six: Adopt a cat

Six: Plant a garden

Six: Live in a forest

Six: Destroy the patriarchy

Six: Travel the world

Six: Fuck shit up

Six: And do it with a smile and a piña colada *bites chip*

Marina: I was gonna wear a cute pink flower crown with my outfit but then I thought fuck that, I'm going low-key cottagecore, not Ohioan frolicker or Idahoan horse girl

Adam: Dude, are you high?

Sam: What? No

Sam, suddenly remembering he rode passenger while Nile smoked weed on their way home and has gotten high off second-hand smoking weed before: OH SHI-

Five: Why am I even up at four in the morning with chips and Mountain Dew???

Marina: I mean, it could be from insomnia rooting from your depressio-

Five: Depression? BITCH PLEASE that shit is so 2019

Adam's teacher: I know it's Monday, but if it's any comfort, today is the first day of the last week of April!

Adam: What the FUCK did you just say to me-

Eight, mimicking an old man: gEt OfF mY lAwN

Sam: *puts face in bowl and laughs*

Nine, knocking on the door: Let me innnnn

John, sitting against the door so Nine doesn't come in: No, I'm still mad at you

Nine: Ok ok I'm sorry, I'll pay you fifty dollars

Five, trying to be compassionate with Nine: Remember when we used to match hairstyles, you fuck?

Literally anyone: *laughs*

Eight: Giggles

Hannu: No sad, just ball

Six: fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me square up square up square up sqUARE UP SQUARE U-

One: Can I use your headphones?

Adam: Sorry, I'm using the-

One: Shut up you dumb fuck

Eight, talking to himself in the mirror: Oh my god look at you in your big, baggy flannel you look sO CUTE you're adorable don't let anyone tell you differently, including you you dumb fucking insecure little bitch

Daniela: What would happen if a woman took penis enlargement pills?

Adam: Hey no offense but what the fuck is wrong with you?

John: What even goes on in your mind?

Nine: Tarot cards, money, Cotton Eye Joe on loop, applesauce, lighting a house on fire, jumping out a second-story house to see if my ankle is durable or not...

John:...

Nine: But mostly Cotton Eye Joe on loop

Five: Some people identify as she/her. Some people identify as he/him. Some people identify as they/them. I identifty as a fucking disappointment.

Marina: Hey, can I ask you a question?

Eight, naked in a bubble-filled bathtub with lit candles, a wine glass full of apple juice, and IceJJFish playing: Do I look like someone with the fucking time?

John: Hey, are you gay?

Adam, sitting on the ground blasting Ariana Grande with an iced almond milk latte and wearing a baggy flannel shirt: BITCH-

Six: *opens her online-shopping package*

Marina: Uh, those are going to make you look a little emo, aren't they?

Six, putting on her thick chain choker and leather gloves: that's the poINT-

Sam: *dances like a crab to the Crab Rave* Crabby Rave make pain go away

One: 'oH i DoNt HaVe PrOnOuNs'- what the fuck are you then, a toaster?

Random celebrity: Wow, fangirls are so sweet and dedicated, they really should get paid for all the promotions and hard work they do!

Six: Ok pay me then

Maggie, crying: All I wanted was some fucking chicky nuggies

Sam, walking up to Nine in public: Hey bestie-

Nine: I don't know you

Sam: Bitch-

Ella: I'm gonna send a celebrity a meme everyday until they reply to me

Marina: Why?

Ella: Why the fuck not?

Five: Yeah, I'm depressed *laughs*

John: Why'd you laugh?

Five: It's a coping mechanism

Maggie: I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner I wants the three D's

Sarah, horrified: The WHAT

Maggie: Dogs, donuts, and diamonds

Hannu: So there's this philosophy theory-

One: I will fucking drown you

Six: If you are male and you have a flat ass, don't speak to me. I need guy friends who match my level of THICKNESS

One: Oh my god she's so cute

Adam: She has a girlfriend

One: Sharing is caring

Five: If ONE MORE BITCHASS WHORE comments on my clothes and shits about how feminine I dress I swear I will be gOING TO JAIL

Five: JUST SAY YOU ARE JEALOUS YOU CAN'T WORK BOTH AND LEAVE BITCH

Nine: So I have this problem where I hate myself but I still think I'm better than everyone else

John:...

Nine: Like I'm trash but I'm QUALITY trash, I'm trash from the garbage bags of Louis Vuitton, I'm recyclable, reusable trash, I'm the trash no one wants to throw away

John: Um...

Nine: If Gucci made a limited-edition, 24-karat gold garbage bag, I'd be that garbage bag

Maggie, holding a nerf gun to Adam's head: Gimme all your fucking money

Sam: I don't know, I've just been feeling a little down lately

Six: No

Sam: What?

Six: That's not allowed

Sam: Wha-

Six: *smacks Sam in the face with a pillow*

Maggie: BESTIE. YOU ARE A BAD BITCH. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. WORK IT QUEEN

The pigeon on the sidewalk:

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yan-twst · 4 years

Note

Hello! May I request hc for the dorm leaders finding out that their female crush is only attracted to girls(female mc as a lesbian I stan-)? If you don't feel comfortable writing this then feel free to delete! I hope this was intresting ;-;

hell yeah lesbians rise up!!!! i included some of my own headcanons of how gay and lesbian stuff is in twst because i think it’s nice to have that there!

riddle rosehearts

riddle is immediately mortified- not because it turns out his crush is a lesbian, but because he’s now horrified all his “courting” may have come off as a bother or inappropriate. he’ll go beet red and apologize for that. he- he didn’t know! he didn’t mean to impose himself- argh!

is he heartbroken? a little. but he’s more worried that he may have come off as pushy. the queen of hearts may have been overbearing, but she never went out of her way to specifically bother anyone, and riddle feels the same way. he really really wants to make it clear he didn’t mean to bother her oh god-

once he calms down a bit, he’ll just, kinda... compose himself and apologize once more. if he had known, he’d probably not have made any advances (even though his “flirting” was more along the lines of inviting to unbirthday parties and sharing trey’s baking. it was nothing too invasive- hell, riddle’s crush wasn’t even aware he was flirting with her)

riddle will also bashfully ask if... well, even if he has no chance with her, he hopes that they can still remain friends. romantic or platonic feelings, he still really gets along with her- hell, everyone’s grown used to having her at the unbirthday parties, and trey already bakes extra for her every time.

he’ll take the title of being her friend with pride. riddle will quickly swallow down his heartbreak: this is something that has to be this way, and the fact that she likes girls simply means he’ll just be the best guy friend she possibly can have

leona kingscholar

leona “woman respecter” kingscholar takes the information well. he just kinda goes ‘oh’, nods, and takes a nap.

welp, there’s nothing to be done, so why get all sad and mopey? if the little herbivore likes girls, more power to her. welp, women are pretty and powerful. he understands why they like women. makes sense

leona is a bit sad, sure, but it’s only natural. he doesn’t dwell on it for long, though. if something can’t be changed, there’s no sense in thinking it over and over: he’s a man and his crush likes women, so that’s the end of that

despite it being so clear cut for him, he will take some time to talk everything out with her. he wants to make it clear: he was pursuing her romantically before, and he won’t anymore. he didn’t know she was a lesbian before, and now he knows

still, leona’s got a soft spot for the little herbivore. even though he might not be pursuing her anymore, it doesn’t change the fact he still feels like he’s gotta watch over her and help her.

he’s just gonna be his usual grumpy self, really. he’ll still invite her over to practice magift, he’ll still tease them and call them “herbivore”. is he still in love? leona won’t ever mention it, really. does it matter? she’s his friend now, even if he calls her “annoying herbivore” whenever she wakes him up, and that’s pretty much all he could ask for

azul ashengrotto

fun fact did you know octopi have been seen displaying homosexual behaviours out in nature

which is to say, this isn’t anything new to azul. same-sex relationships are more common in his home than what he’s seen in the surface, but it’s not like lesbians are a new concept to him

oh don’t get it wrong he does cry when his darling tells him she’s not into men. he cries and then he lets her hug him until he stops. he then proceeds to be so mortified over it all he wishes he could go hide in his octopus pot

after apologizing for... that ordeal, azul will return to his usual composed self. it’s almost hard to tell he was a sniffling mess just a few minutes before if it weren’t for his puffy eyes

he composes himself quickly because, well... when he pictured himself getting turned down, it was always painful- old insecurities flaring, being told he wasn’t enough- but this was... not painful? it’s not as if he wasn’t good enough or something. his crush was just a lesbian! it’s not his fault, so it’s hard for him to feel sad over it

azul might even feel a bit bad for her. she’s... stuck in this all boy’s school, huh? the only girls here are probably the fae that control the weather... and the talking portraits...?

even though there’s really no girls for her to talk to, azul will still take on a protective attitude over her, giving the “if any girl breaks your heart tell me and the twins and we will avenge you” talk. azul doesn’t know why any girl would hurt her heart, because in his eyes she’s precious, but hey, he’s gotta protect his friend, right?

kalim al-asim

“wait you like women? oh me too!”

kalim takes it... so well. like, almost shockingly well? it’s like he processed the information in record speed, sorted out his own feelings immediately, and made peace with it all in a matter of seconds

kalim has many sisters around his age. one in ten people are gay. what i am getting at is kalim has lesbian sisters and so this revelation that his crush is lesbian doesn’t shake his world too much

he’ll admit it stings a little- love is a powerful thing, after all! but he thinks people who pursue others who are clearly not interested are scummy, and he’d never do anything like that

in his mind, it’s an easy ordeal. he trusts and likes her. she sees him as a close friend, and that’s the most he can be. so really, he should just be happy he’s as close to her as can be! he’s already at the top rung of being close to her, so he’s hit the goal, right?

kalim, god bless his heart, is that friend who will present his lesbian friends to any other lesbian friend he has. he has good intentions, but it might get a little tiring? and a bit overwhelming too when he brings up that he has sisters right around his age who are also into girls and suddenly he’s making plans for a big mixer party and oh god jamil please help and put a stop to this before it gets out of control please help he’s already planning a menu-

vil schoenheit

ooooh so she’s a lesbian ooooooh ok that makes sense. that makes sense.

vil is like “oh! of course my incredible efforts into my appearance and into our friendship and in wooing her weren’t working. she is just not into men”

he’s almost surprised at how getting turned down like this just... didn’t bruise his ego at all. his efforts weren’t useless, he wasn’t doing things wrong, it simply couldn’t work! honestly, vil would have been more hurt if he’d put all this effort and his crush had been straight and still turned him down

hmm, so she’s into girls... then being here, in an academy full of men (who are, in vil’s opinion, horribly unrefined and ungraceful) must be rough.

just because he’s no longer trying to pursue a relationship with her does not mean that he’ll stop inviting her over for skincare or for trying on clothes. absolutely not. the fact vil even was attracted to her in the first place is because he saw her as someone with potential and that has not changed

he will immediately position himself as a big brother / best friend. just because he’s her friend doesn’t mean he’s gonna let her slack, though! he’s still gonna be checking she follows the skincare routine he set up for her, and that she’s eating and sleeping well- as much as he says it’s because he “wants to make her potential shine” or whatever, it’s just... overwhelmingly clear he just cares about her as a friend

idia shroud

out of all the ways he imagined getting turned down this has to be the one that he had NOT pictured and at the same time, it’s kinda the best one? crush was a lesbian so it wouldn’t work out, 10/10 turn down, didn’t make him go into a self deprecating vortex

once again, it’s the age old relief of “yes, i got turned down by my crush, but it wasn’t my fault, because it turned out she was a lesbian”. idia had ran so many scenarios of being turned down, of his crush being disgusted at him, that it all being resolved into her not liking men at all is... almost relieving?

and you know what. he gets it. when he sees his figurines and posters of his favourite idols and anime girls it’s like well duh of course she likes girls because girls are cute?

he’s gonna have her rate his waifu tierlist. what? it’s not- it’s not weird, is it?! he’s just trying to bond, and- urgh, he kinda wants to know what her opinion on his waifus is. because his waifus are cute girls and she likes girls so ?? it makes sense? right? (idia might cry if she says his waifus aren’t That Good)

this whole ordeal might also result in the almost hilarious scenario in which ortho just straight up goes “Hey niichan, what is a lesbian?”

learning that his closest friend likes girls opens pandora’s box, the box being idia making his friend review every anime girl and gacha or visual novel girl that HE likes

malleus draconia

did you know reptiles are also quite gay? there’s even a species of lizard that’s just, entirely female. dragons are reptiles.

malleus, bless his heart, is not good at reading people. his crush will need to be Direct. trying to use metaphors like “I swing the other way”, or “I play for the other team” do nothing but further confuse him- when his crush finally cracks down and just goes “what I’m trying to say is I’m a lesbian” he finally, finally, understands what this is all about

malleus just... nods in understanding

he feels a little sad- it does sting, a bit, to know things can’t work out, but he’s also... happy. if she told him, that means she trusts him, right?

malleus is happy enough to just have A Friend in general, even if he’d never admit he’s usually lonely. most people tend to run from him or be so intimidated they shiver when they hear his name. and yet, against all odds, he’s found a friend who likes being by his side, someone who didn’t know all the baggage that comes with his name. he’d be a fool to tear down that friendship just because he’s learnt it’ll stay platonic

also, as mentioned before, it’s not like homosexuality is some sort of taboo or odd subject. it’s actually quite common amongst the fae, especially those in Malleus’ kingdom. although he does say he can’t introduce her to any cute fae girls. he.... is not friends with any. (he just doesn’t have a lot of friends in general, but he refuses to say that because he... doesn’t want to sound “mopey”, lile lilia says he is)

#twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia #Anonymous

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harpersplay · 3 years

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Genuine non-troll white woman here - you wrote "So I already knew that Good Girls was a white feminism phantasmagoria...But, jesus fucking christ, y'all are just showing your true colours lately. The way you talk about a MOC in relation to a white woman is disgusting." Not asking you to call out specific people or posts or start any kind of flame war but what would be a general example of what you are talking about? I follow a good chunk of people and I'm not seeing this maybe b/c I'm not following the same people, maybe out of willful blindness, maybe I'm not recognizing it - again, b/c of ignorance, etc. Just trying to understand what you mean - and not do it obviously, if I am doing it.

I apologise for taking a longish time to answer this. Honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to get into it. Anyway, I'd first like to say that this is all my opinion. What bothers me might not bother someone else. BIPOC are not a monolith. Even subsections aren't. Not all Mexican trans men are a monolith. Neither are all Japanese lesbians. You get the idea. And that's not even including people like Ben Carson or Caitlyn Jenner—people who support and work for policies that actively harm the marginalised group of which they are a part. Secondly, I know this isn't your intention, but asking POC to tell you what is ok to do and what is not is a slippery slope to "my [blank] friend said this was ok." Finally, the fandom is quite small so it is pretty hard to give general examples. I don't know if it's more trouble to quote specific posts or not, because some will think it is about them anyway. Anything I'm going to mention I've seen on Tumblr, Instagram, Reddit and/or Twitter. But there are definitely popular Tumblr blogs that all push the same narrative. Oh, and one last thing, I haven't seen any of what I'm referring to from people I follow.

Ok, let's go. For a very long time, mainly WOC have pointed out the racial problems within the show and the extremely dismissive attitude about those problems from mainly white women. And while these same women have written thousands (even tens of thousands) or words about Beth (it's always Beth) and her struggles and the amazingness of such a complex female character (ymmv), they brush aside commentary about racism as either nitpicking, not understanding the show is about the 3 women (tell that to all the white men with fleshed-out storylines), or misogyny. The last is especially hostile because they are often talking over Black women and misogynoir is a very real fucking thing that couples the fun of being hated for being a woman with the delight of good old-fashioned racism. They espouse the idea that people having a problem with Beth are all covert & overt misogynists. But talk out the other side of their mouths that they can't possibly be racist even when they support racism in the show or ignore concerns brought up by fans of colour. And that is just the absolute height of hypocrisy. Because by the former they acknowledge that people in a marginalised group (women) can still be anti- that group (a phenomenon with which I agree). But in the latter, suddenly they don't understand that concept.

Specific to the post you are responding to, fans that purport to like Brio write about the relationship in ways that reveal how much of their enjoyment comes from Rio being inferior to Beth. It's all about what he can do for her, how he acts against his best interests for her, how he literally denies himself sexual pleasure for her. Those are all meant to show how in love he is with her. But the show never bothers to tell us why. And, no, this is not because the show is so deep. Other romantic relationships they have scenes that are explicit about the characters' feelings. But Rio, after being shot, after being betrayed, after being mocked, is just so in love with Beth....because. (MYSTERIOUS!) And the Beth stans are more than fine with this because they think everyone should be as obsessed with Beth as they are. But it's bad storytelling. And, in this particular case, it gets into very dicey racist tropes. A white women treating her Latino lover like an afterthought is not the same as a white women treating her white lover like an afterthought. It just isn't. And if some of these fans are as smart as they pretend to be, they know that. They just don't care. Much like the showrunners.

There was so much talk defending the drawn-out Boland marriage because why can't we understand how hard it is for Beth—who is, at various times, claimed to be emotionally abused by Dean or staying with him because it is safe and comfortable—and we don't appreciate how difficult it is for her (I may be one of the few divorced people talking about this show on Tumblr, so this has always made me laugh). Yet there was nothing but glee when Rio flipped on his brousin (who was written as both abusive and safe) for Beth. Where was the empathy for Rio and how hard it was for him? Especially because, unlike Beth, he didn't even have one parent? Hadn't the Beth stans used her very tragical history™️ to explain away her every shitty act? idk, not having any parents and going to jail (as a minor?) and being betrayed by your family seems pretty tragic. But I didn't see them all of a sudden excusing Rio's bad behaviour. Because, feminism or something?

What about Beth's feelings? Last season she spent trying to have him killed. This season she spent looking annoyed by him. Throughout both she talked down to him in a specific white woman way that every BIPOC has experienced, even if some of them are cool with it. There were multiple opportunites for Beth to talk about her feelings with Ruby and/or Annie, but the writers made the deliberate choice to always make it about sex (and god, the immature way they had these three grown women talk was fucking obnoxious). She spent the last 2 seasons also wanting him out of her life to the point that a majority of her actions in S4 were motivated by getting to Nevada with her husband and kids. Beth doesn't care about Rio but Rio needs to put Beth above everything because he's just so in love like he's never been before (which is blatant Marcus & Rhea erasure). And anyone who doesn't think Beth would have just as happily been sitting on that bench plotting how to "run the city" (hahahahaha!) with Nick if the situation worked out differently hasn't been paying attention.

So, what do we have? A white woman who is constantly excused (by the loudest portion of the fandom) for all her ill treatment to her Black BFF & her Black husband, her Asian coworker, her Latina "friend," and Rio (among others) because her life is hard and who is not required to even be nice to her supposed "endgame". And a MOC who is expected to accept being treated poorly by the white woman because he loves her.

And, a last thing, this attitude grossly crossed over into talk about real people when the fans—who self-righteously claimed to be above anon sources or talking about the actors—latched on to the narrative and enjoyed blaming the MOC actor for the cancellation of the show, even dragging his insignificant (in terms of influence) Black wife into it. All while conveniently ignoring that the creator/showrunner is a white woman. The star & producer is a white woman. The people making the decisions at NBCU & Netflix were white women. All white women with so much more power than the Latino actor.

Shit, did I answer your question? I know this is a lot. But I could honestly make mulitple posts on each issue I touched on here. Basically, white people ain't slick, be they content creators or fans. We see how & what y'all talk about. We see that Rio not having a last name is not a big deal to you and we know why that is. So we're fucking tired. And we're over a show that had so much potential crapping all over their POC characters to prop up a white woman. And we're repulsed by the white women in the fandom who use their tears to seem oppressed and who toss around the word misogynist because POC dare call a Karen a Karen.

#nbc good girls #good girls nbc #racism in the text #racism in fandom #fragile whiteness #white feminism #what fandom chooses to talk about #and what it chooses to ignore #anon asks

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highfaelucien · 3 years

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I completely agree with how you feel towards azriel. Thinking about azriel’s character now vs how I used to view him during acomaf times is just... sad and so so so much more complex. Part of me still wants to love him for the character that was presented to us in acomaf and other small good moments, like his friendship with nesta. And then the other part of me is disgusted, disappointed, and honestly kind of terrified of who he may become if sjm allows him to continue acting predatorily/toxic. The whole mor/az situation really fucked me up. As someone who is also a lesbian and an abuse survivor, it broke my heart to watch the situation unfold in acowar. It still hurts seeing many readers (and sometimes even sjm) take az’s side and paint mor as some sort of liar/two faced character that is playing everyone. I kept thinking that things would be fixed in future books, but instead az has grown worse and mor was, once again, sidelined and written out as a character. And honestly... as much as I love the idea of gwyn x azriel ... I think his books would need a lot more focus on his own recovery/growth and not center on a romantic relationship. If anything, I hope it’s written as friends to lovers so az has a better way of interacting and forming relationships with women. Because right now... well, that shit is borderline predatory and isn’t coming across well. And I really really do not want that for him. Basically, azriel deserves a better arc than what has been written for him. I miss him :( he used to be a character that made me feel safe and now :/ idk anymore

I'm going to quote parts of this/chop it up and reply to them a chunk at a time. because there's a lot going on here and I want to try and reply to as much as I can because I resonate with.....all of it. Please forgive me for the length of this.

I completely agree with how you feel towards azriel. Thinking about azriel’s character now vs how I used to view him during acomaf times is just... sad and so so so much more complex.

He feels like a different character? There was always an anger simmering under the calm surface, we knew that. But it was an anger born of love, deep down, and the desire to protect his family, and his court, at the expense of himself. Az was always the first to volunteer himself for dangerous missions, to spare the others.

Now that anger is directed at his family, and at the world, for not giving him what he feels he 'deserves'. That has NEVER been Azriel. Azriel's deepest issues and insecurities have always stemmed from the feeling of being unworthy, and undeserving of anything.

She's just made him into......Every other dude in this series tbh. Snarling, and possessive, and wanting to fuck anything in a skirt that moves.

Azriel was actually somewhat of an original, complex character initially. It's unusual that we see trauma affect men in the way it did Az. Usually it makes them angry, and vengeful, and eager to prove they are the alpha etc. Seeing them withdraw, and think less of themselves/that they're unworthy is something not explored often enough. But bye bye nuance hello #Drama.

Part of me still wants to love him for the character that was presented to us in acomaf and other small good moments, like his friendship with nesta.

I feel this. I found a lot of comfort in Az's character. Particularly the way he reacted with Mor. I was a big fan of their relationship, and I wrote a few 'missing scenes' style fics in the gap between ACOMAF and ACOWAR. One of them was where Az went to her when she had pushed everyone else away, including Cassian, and comforted and calmed her.

I hate that Maas took that away from Mor. I hate that Az no longer does that for her. I hate that Az was the one to betray her along with Rhys and bring her abuser into her safe space behind her back. I hate that he is no longer a symbol of calm, stable, dependable comfort and support for Mor, but is instead a threat. I HATE it.

Every now and then Az has lovely, gentle moments - his friendship with Nesta is a good example, and something I hoped we'd see. But also quieter times with Rhys, and their similarities being explored. And I adored the flying lessons with Feyre in ACOWAR, and the training he did with Cassian and the others in ACOFS.

But then she goes and twists him and does something else that just makes me want to fucking scream. Like the High Lord scene where he 'frightened' Mor. And his entire POV chapter which is frankly fucking gross.

And then the other part of me is disgusted, disappointed, and honestly kind of terrified of who he may become if sjm allows him to continue acting predatorily/toxic.

I agree.

I don't know how she can write a series that explores the effects of emotional abuse so well with Feyre and Tamlin...And then write what she did with Az?

The possession to a traumatised, still impressionable and desperate young woman, who likely finds the same comfort and safety in him that Mor did. Before that got shot to fucking pieces.

He sounds like a whiny toddler 'Cassian has a mate, and Rhys has a mate, where is mine!?!?!?!?' I DESERVE Elain, because I'm your brother and you guys have her sisters and what the FUCK. Who let that shit get published holy mother of god.

It's just...It's so unhealthy? Like, not even talking ship wars here (which I'm aware are rampant, and which I'm trying my best to stay away from). But that just.

How can that ever be a healthy foundation for a relationship? A man who thinks that he deserves, not only to be in a relationship with her, but to be bonded to her. Not because of HER, not because of who she is, or how she makes him feel. No. Purely because her sisters are mated to his brothers?

The whole thing made me feel so uncomfortable. It's predatory and toxic, just as you said. It's not right, it's not fair. Forget alliances and Lucien, even if none of that was a factor, that sort of thinking is still not right. And it's completely unfair to Elain.

But it also just. It didn't read like Azriel. The first part, where he struggles to sleep, and pushes himself until he passes out, and the insight that his shadows are basically hovering beside him screaming SELF CARE YOU DUMB BITCH at all times was very pleasing.

And the part where he goes to Clotho and leaves an anonymous gift for Gwyn. No fanfair. No audience. No pressure on either of them to react/perform. That felt like Az, too.

But everything in the middle. Everything with Elain, was just...Gross and out of character. And this is not because I dislike E/riel as a ship. I could get on board with it, tbh, if it wasn't written the way it was.

But it's not about ships, for me. It's just. Everything felt out of character. The predatory way he was with her. The fact he lies awake and gets himself off to fantasies of her. How apparently quickly he was aroused by putting a necklace on her. Idk, maybe it's my ace ignorance, but that doesn't sound normal/healthy to me.

Nor does him having to leave a room because he can scent her mating bond with Lucien. Or not being able to control himself to sit and eat dinner with her?

This is the same dude who has, apparently, been in love with Mor for 500 solid years, and who never did a damned thing about it. Who always kept himself in check. Even while she's had other lovers. But he can't control himself through one dinner with Elain?

It just. It doesn't feel like him. It feels like...Honestly not even Cassian. It feels like Tamlin on horny, predatory steroids. And that's not something I ever wanted to see from Azriel's POVs.

She could have explored a darker side to him without making it sexual? And misogynistic. And having him treating Elain as little more than a fucking object that he feels entitled to because 'everyone else got one, where's mine?'. What the FUCK???

The more I write it the more angry I get.

Because SJM has consistently put Az in the position of saving women when they were in danger? He was the one who found Mor near death at Autumn. He was the one who rescued Gwyn from her attackers during the war. He was the one to retrieve Elain when she was taken.

She always puts him in this position and, for better or worse, presents him as a safety figure for these women. The first person who they saw come for them, and fight for them, and protect them.

And on the inside she makes him this vile, predatory monster who just thinks constantly about fucking them? Who isn't actually safe at all?? It's sad. And it's infuriating. Because this isn't about ships anymore. This is about female survivors who have an apparent safe person who's presented as almost as dangerous as the people who attacked them in the first place. And that makes me feel so sick and sad that we've gotten here.

It still hurts seeing many readers (and sometimes even sjm) take az’s side and paint mor as some sort of liar/two faced character that is playing everyone. I kept thinking that things would be fixed in future books, but instead az has grown worse and mor was, once again, sidelined and written out as a character.

This is yet another vile thing SJM has done to queer readers with this whole fiasco. Because it puts me in a position where I want to call out her shitty writing, and what she's done to Mor - sidelining her as soon as she became queer. Undermining her power and her strength. Undermining her role as the survivor to look up to. Saying her power is truth but then making her seem like a liar. Which is all shitty, shitty, shitting writing.

But I'm also a queer person. And I will always always ALWAYS want to defend a queer person's right to remain closeted. Regardless of their reasons for doing so. But in this case it's a concern for their safety/a fear of how those around them will react. And I will NEVER condemn that. I will never say Az is suffering more than Mor for her being closeted. I will never call Mor a liar/a manipulator/two-faced when all she's doing is trying to survive.

I WILL condemn SJM for making this a scenario. For putting homophobia in her world purely to cause pain for queer characters, and drama for her straight ones. And for sidelining Mor as soon as she can't write graphic scenes with her fucking men because now she's a lesbian so we best get her off the page so the guys can get their cocks out some more.

And honestly... as much as I love the idea of gwyn x azriel ... I think his books would need a lot more focus on his own recovery/growth and not center on a romantic relationship. If anything, I hope it’s written as friends to lovers so az has a better way of interacting and forming relationships with women. Because right now... well, that shit is borderline predatory and isn’t coming across well. And I really really do not want that for him.

This is going to sound sarcastic but I actually mean it fully and completely genuinely: 95% of the drama inducing problems in this series could be fixed with some fucking therapy.

But I agree with you. I think it's high time Azriel worked on his own issues. Even if they've apparently made a complete 180 from what they were in ACOMAF.

I...Like the concept of Gwyn/Azriel, but I'm not sold on the ship. Not with the way Maas has been writing Azriel lately. That kind of man shouldn't be with any woman right now. But especially not a rape survivor who sees him as one of the first men she's been able to trust in a long time.

Basically, azriel deserves a better arc than what has been written for him. I miss him :( he used to be a character that made me feel safe and now :/ idk anymore

"he used to be a character that made me feel safe" - This shit hit me like a tonne of bricks because this is EXACTLY how I feel about Az, too. You just managed to say it in a few words instead of 12 pages of rambling, like I do.

And I think this was intention. Azriel was presented as a very dependable character. He rescued Mor, and was respectful enough to keep his distance, despite his feelings, for 500 fucking years. Because he didn't think she was ready/interested.

He had a very calm, and calming air about him. Always in control of himself. Without the expected bursts of aggression and temper we'd seen from...Every other male character in this series. He was stable, and solid, and that was comforting. An anchor. And someone who would quietly, and without fuss, seek out Mor/others when they needed someone to talk to or comfort him.

That was a very soothing, reassuring presence in the book, I felt. And now she's made him seem...volatile, and unstable. With this dangerous anger that he can't control, that he uses not to protect, but to intimidate, and to fuel his entitlement and desires.

it's just sad. It's sad that she's taken this away from Mor, but also from other survivors who found comfort and safety in Az. Because I'm sure we weren't alone in that regard.

I miss him. And I mourn the character he was, and feel anger for the character he should have been. but instead he's become yet another possessive, entitled, snarling cardboard cutout dude like...everyone else.

And I ache for the Az/Mor dynamic that we had in ACOMAF. Even without it becoming romantic, there was no reason for that to be destroyed/ruined.

She could have written it that Az is the only one who knows about her sexuality, and that he pretends he's still in love with her as a shield/buffer, so no one looks too closely/to protect her and make her feel comfortable.

Instead she turned it into a soap opera style drama. And wrote it almost as though her sexuality was her cheating on him? Denying him what he deserved. And now she's just...just pussyfooting around it. And apparently he's just. Just moved on. Without them having any kind of conversation or closure at all. He just wanks off to the thought of Elain instead of Mor, now, problem solved /s

I miss what they were. I miss what he was to Mor. I miss when she had that support system, and that safety net. I miss when he protected her. And looked out for her. And understood her in a way that no one else, not even Rhys, did.

Mor deserved that. Azriel deserved that. WE deserved that. And she nuked it for some fucking twisted drama that punishes a lesbian because a man is thirsting after her. it's a fucking disgrace. I'm so fucking done with SJM, y'all. So fucking done.

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baited-beth · 3 years

Text

My close friend, a TRA, has just gone home after spending the night and god did we have a deep and difficult discussion on women's rights and tran's rights... I love her and I'm so thankful she's happy to remain good friends and wants to plan to meet up soon, but we just really really disagree on this and I'm emotionally exhausted. She's so intelligent, but she is absolutely blind to the flaws in her arguments. Practically all of her reasons for disagreeing with me are:

dismissing the points without really engaging in them and saying that that's obviously not what's happening

saying that they're just headline fodder intended to cause outrage

simply stating that my point is hateful (rather than biological fact)

believing that a study should be dismissed because it hasn't been repeated/she doesn't trust the conditions it was conducted in (although lack of study into puberty blockers is fine🤔)

a seemingly willful belief that women can't be subject to male violence if the male person states they are trans

A general lack of understanding in the differences between male and female bodies and how puberty works

She got really uncomfortable when I asked her what a woman was. She tried to say it was anyone who identified as a woman. So I pointed out you can't use a word in its definition, and asked again. She said that it was anyone was felt more comfortable with the woman's shape or clothes etc. I tried pointing out that was a sexist assumption of what a woman was. Does that mean butch lesbians aren't women? She kept distracting from the point by implying I was only asking the question as an excuse to exclude trans women.

I also asked her why a 12 year old child bride was being married off and she responded "power and paedophilia". Okay, so why isn't it happening to 12 year old boys? If a 12 year old boy goes round telling everyone he's actually a girl, they aren't going to marrying him off. Apparently it probably does happen to 12 year old boys and I'm making a generalisation.

FGM. Who does that happen to? People with female genitals apparently. Why? "Power. And not wanted them to feel pleasure". Okay, so why is that not happening to boys? "Well it's happening to trans boys." Right, but what do they have in common with the girls? It's happening because they're female and they can't identify out of it. Apparently this argument isn't helpful because we really should be talking about the UK where this isn't particularly prevalent (which I wish I had countered now).

I pointed out the yearly stats for the number of trans people killed is actually mainly trans women who have been prostituted in Brazil and South America, and that actually the number is either 1 or 0 in the UK. Apparently she knows anecdotally that the number is far higher and thinks suicide should be included. I tried to point out that suicide isn't necessarly occurring because they're not being accepted as trans, but instead because they have mental health issues that have not been solved by transitioning.

We didn't get too deep into trans athletes, but she seems to think that oestrogen and surgery significantly reduces male strength to female levels... similar to how she's convinced that puberty restarts straight away once you come off puberty blockers. Completely misinformed on how different hormones and puberty affects bodies based on their sex.

She had no idea about the Karen White case. Apparently that kind of thing shouldn't happen because the crimes of the 'trans women' should be taken into account when they're transferred to a women's prison. I'm annoyed I forgot to bring up the recent ruling on this. I also tried to argue that a number of men were starting to pretend they were trans to be transferred and she again argued that the prison services should be able to separate the real from the fake, and she made a big thing about how trans people need to live in their chosen gender for a year before they're allowed a GRA so obviously prisons wouldn't allow it until they'd done this (laughably false). My point that the prison service can't make that decision without being labelled transphobic fell on deaf ears. I even pointed out that in California they out condom machines in women's prisons because of this and she dismissed it as something that probably got made up and blown out of proportion for headline fodder. She also seemed to think that I was wrong to point out that male people were more likely to be violent and that trans women were male. Apparently this shouldn't apply because they're trans women?

Oh, the best bit was when I asked why women and children should be subjected to a penis in a single sex changing room. Apparently "trans women don't go into changing rooms just to wave their dicks in people's faces". And rather than them, as a very small population, making women feel safe by taking a third option for changing spaces, women should accept them and deal with it if they feel uncomfortable.

When I pointed out that men will take advantage of the safeguarding loopholes created by gender ideology, her basic argument was that will men access those spaces if they want to regardless so it makes no difference. Which absolute amazed me? She was almost angry with me for suggesting the safeguarding needs to exclude some people in order to protect a bigger group. There was a lot of refusal to admit that women are more vulnerable to male violence and so need single sex spaces.

There was so much else we talked about and I'm proud of myself for actually sticking to my guns and having examples and difficult questions to back up my corner. But it amazes me how willingly blind she is. She really is spouting out the same lines I see all over TRA's blogs and twitter feeds without actively engaging with what they mean. She also said she thought she was being 'quite generous' with me about some of my opinions which... given she couldn't actually give a definition of what a woman is?

Anyway, we parted friends and agreed that we would exchange books so we could get out of our own bubbles. I'll read Detrasition Baby if she reads Trans by Helen Joyce. Hopefully some of what I said will stick with her and she will begin to question things more.

I feel like I should add links to all my above points but right now I just need a nap.

#feminism #radfem #radical feminism #terfs please interact #terf safe #terfs do interact #gender ideology

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autisticburnham · 3 years

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Fics I have either started and need to finish or that I just plain need to start:

My Troi/Ro missing scenes that I published the first two chapters of and never finished the third

Tom and Harry's first date. If you want it to just be fluffy stop reading here. This one is actually finished but

Sequel to the above. The whole ship dies and we realize the first fic was from the perspective of alternate universe!Harry that saves Naomi Wildman as she's born. Now he has to cope with the fact that he'll never quite belong and that he'll never see anyone he loves again, and now he's got his boyfriend trying to comfort him about it but the boyfriend only knows him as just friends

Julian spiraling after Inquisition and thinking about how his two biggest traumatic experiences were wielded against him

Ezri going through Jadzia's stuff and finding the earrings Lenara gave her and getting Emotions about it

B7 fic where Harry gets kidnapped by aliens and B'elanna and Seven have to go undercover on the planet to save him. Featuring lots of bickering, them getting imprisoned, and them being forced to address the root of their issues with each other to escape and rescue Harry. Very loosely inspired by Barbie: A Fairy Secret

A full length version of that post I made where we see each member of the Niners go to a baseball game with Benjamin. Also featuring Imaginary!Buck Bokai bc while I didn't like the episode as a whole, those were interesting aliens and I'm disappointed we never got to see them again

Rom comes out as nonbinary, almost everyone is supportive and good with it, but Quark keeps making mistakes. We get a parallel where Nog threatens to burn down the bar if Quark stands in the way of his parent's happiness

Short and fluffy Seven/Raffi where Seven muses about how much she loves her while lying next to a sleeping Raffi. Quotes Sappho

Julian talks to various crew members after he gets outed as genetically engineered. May include a conversation with Miles about why it's okay for him specifically to call him Jules, but that may also be it's own fic

Quasi-quodo fic where Quark had feelings for Odo and was working on getting over his internalized stuff so that he could actually talk to Odo about it, but then Odo was too busy fucking for 3 days and nearly got Quark's brother killed and now Quark has to deal with that. Featuring Quark forming a genuine friendship with Nerys bc they're the only people who were really close to Odo and fully understand how fucked up this is to deal with emotionally. Featuring Leeta punching Odo and telling him to stay away from her family

Rejoined... 2! Since ds9 has the distinction of both being next to a stable wormhole and being the last place in the Alpha Quadrant Voyager was seen, when Starfleet commissions the Trill Science Ministry to look into ways to use a stable wormhole to bring Voyager home, Lenara and her team relocate permanently to ds9. We have a parallel where Kira and Ezri have the same conversation Benjamin and Jadzia had warning about Lenara coming. May or may not end with them getting together, but definitely at least featurs Ezri realizing she's a lesbian

Aos!Kirk/Spock/Uhura get together. Takes place after Beyond while Spock and Uhura are still broken up; they talk about why they broke up, speak frankly about their feelings, and decide together to ask Jim into the relationship

Honestly? Might steal @8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess 's Dean Winchester writes Star Trek fanfiction and do Tom Paris writes Supernatural fanfiction to figure out his gender. Would NOT be the same format, I do not know how Elle does that, they're a god amongst men

#tng #ds9 #voy #my post

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goosemixtapes · 4 years

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i had to read an infuriating post with mine own two eyes tonight so here’s a reminder from your local lesbian:

a) the idea that masculine women and/or lesbians (and particularly those of us who are both) are “pressured to transition” into men is ludicrous. i’m not saying it never happens - i don’t want to discount real people who may have had those experiences - but to act like it’s a trend is, quite frankly, stupid. masculine girls aren’t told to be men. masculine girls are told to be feminine. people who don’t want lesbians around probably don’t want trans people around either.

b) it is not easier to be trans than to be gay. i’m not saying it’s harder - i think trying to rank systems of oppression is a waste of time. that said, the idea that a gay person can “escape” homophobia by transitioning into a “straight” member of the “opposite sex” is - guess what! - also stupid! transitioning doesn’t get you away from homophobia. people will still be homophobic, because they will still see you as your assigned gender; you’ll just also get some lovely transphobia on the top! /s

c) again. let me reiterate. a butch lesbian who transitions to become a “straight man” is not going to suddenly have an easier time. certain aspects of her existence may, in fact, be easier! but other aspects will be much much harder. there’s no get-out-of-homophobia-free card, oh my god. i don’t know what fantasy world some of you are living in where everyone who hates gay people is magically fine with trans people? if people don’t like you being gay, they PROBABLY aren’t going to like you being trans either!

d) lesbians can and do, and have been doing and will continue to do, “transition.” transition is in quotes here because i don’t mean “become men.” i mean that lesbians can do things like take testosterone and get top surgery and use pronouns other than she/her without thinking of themselves as men, and while continuing to think of themselves as lesbians. read stone butch blues. this Just Happens. it’s just another way of exhibiting gender nonconformity! if your stance is “wait lesbians can’t do that” i’m sorry because we literally are it Just Happens

d1) this includes trans women. trans lesbians can also be nonbinary and/or use pronouns other than she/her and do basically anything afab lesbians can. this isn’t my main point, and i’m hesitant to expand because i am not affected by transmisogyny and don’t want to overstep. this post is focused on afab people because it’s drawn from my personal experience, but it’s important to me that y’all know that trans women are not excluded from this narrative.

d2) this isn’t limited to lesbians, either. bi women, for example, also have complex and personal relationships with gender. again, this post is drawn from my own experiences and i am hesitant to expand re: bi women because i know less about their personal experiences. but they are not excluded from this either.

e) HOWEVER. any and all lesbians who “transition” in this way, so long as they still identify as lesbians, ARE STILL LESBIANS. men cannot be lesbians. this means trans men cannot be lesbians. but lesbians who use he/him pronouns or do any of the other things i mentioned are NOT MEN if they don’t identify as men. trans men and he/him lesbians in particular get conflated a lot - but we aren’t the same! we are not the same; he/him lesbians aren’t trying to imply that all trans men are secretly women/lesbians, nor are they trying to imply that men can be lesbians, because lesbians who do these things are not men.

f) why might lesbians “transition” in this way, then, if they aren’t men? well quite frankly it’s none of your business. but generally it’s very simple: because using different pronouns, or going on testosterone, or having top surgery, or etc etc, makes them more comfortable. lesbianism, and butch lesbianism in specific, is deeply about gender nonconformity. saying that you can’t be a lesbian and do any of the things i’ve been listing doesn’t make sense - where do you draw the line? at what point are you trying to define where someone is “too masculine to be a lesbian?” and why do you feel the need to do that?

g) “but are lesbians doing this because of internalized and external misogyny?” look. i won’t lie. it’s POSSIBLE. misogyny is a hell of a drug. but 1) doing these things won’t let you escape misogyny just like it won’t let you escape homophobia; we’ve been over this and 2) the process of questioning your gender is a deeply convoluted and often torturous thing and i can almost guarantee to you that if you’re thinking “is this person really trans/nonbinary/etc or are they just suffering from internalized misogyny?” that that person has probably also had that conversation with themself a thousand times. i don’t think some of y’all realize how long and gnarly questioning can be. we cover our bases, guys. we examine the nuances. transitioning isn’t a snap decision.

g.5) questioning is not always long and gnarly. if your questioning process was very short, hey, good for you! i’m not trying to invalidate your experiences. i’m just saying that It Can Be and It Often Is.

h) certain celebrities who have recently come out have not, to my knowledge, even specified that they no longer identify as a lesbian, despite, for example, using he/him or they/them pronouns. as we’ve been over, these things can coexist. so saying shit like “it’s so tragic that lesbophobia made so-and-so transition” is not only repulsive and disgusting, it’s also completely unfounded!

h.5) that said, even IF certain celebrities who have recently come out no longer identify as a lesbian - okay! so what! lesbians aren’t an endangered species being encroached upon by The Evil Transes. again: we’ve been over this. lesbians and trans men can and do coexist. if someone who formerly identified as a lesbian says they are a trans man, it’s probably because they are. there is not a shortage of lesbians in the world. we are not flocking en masse to transmanhood.

i) if your hot take is “i feel sorry for the lesbian partner of this former lesbian icon who is now transitioning because the Lesbophobes and Misogynists and Evil Trans Rights Activists ganged up on their spouse to make them transition,” i kindly invite you to ~block me~

source: i’m literally a lesbian. and also one of those lesbians who does transitional activities. and also a person with critical thinking skills

#max.txt #long post #sj #god how the fuck do i tag this. im sorry followers for just dumping this on your dash but i saw some bullshit today and i am angy.#ok to rb #(also ok to like. talk to me abt this if you disagee with something or have something to add? im not the end all be all expert on this)#(as long as you are coming to me in good faith im willing to discuss)#he/him lesbians

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jonathanrook · 3 years

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legally i have to give you intern 2

em you have awoken an ungodly beast inside me so i need to warn everyone that this post is. incomprehensible. but so is mymusic so i guess we're all used to it.

How I feel about this character:

i watched mymusic as it was airing/running/coming out specifically bc i'm a jack stannie, and as a kid melvin was my second favorite character (w scene being in first, obvs) for mostly that reason. he basically hovered around this ranking until my most recent rewatch in the summer of 2020, which was actually spurred by some events in my personal life that vaguely reminded me of scene's season two arc w jeff, and i thought it'd been a funny/nostalgic way to get my mind off things.

(i want to side note here that -- i know you didn't ask, but -- i love jeff. i have since i was a kid. like, obviously not as a person but i think he's honestly the best written character in the series, w indie close in second. idk what it says about the f*nes that their most interesting and well rounded characters are the villains, but i digress. to this day i'm salty that jeff never got added to the theme song and wasn't really included in promotional merch.)

however, in said rewatch, certain things about how he was written started to really get under my skin, and certain moments in particular have really stuck out to me in a negative way. like, for the entirety of season one and a good chunk of season two he's one person, and then he leaves mymusic and we have an entirely different person, but not in a nuanced character building sort of way.

i've said a few of these points before but i'll repeat them here regardless. at the risk of sounding like i've put on a tin-foil hat, it's my sneaking suspicion that scindie was supposed to be endgame, but since fan reception to it was pretty neutral, and scenechart stans were, at the very least, more vocal, changes were made to the intended finale, which is why in the last scene he's basically just. indie. like, if everything about the show was exactly the same but indie was the one who had ended up w scene in the end that would have made so much more sense since a) scene had a crush on indie that he/everyone knew about and b) indie was kind of a dick despite the half-assed attempts at redemption, so both combined make it slightly less weird/out-of-nowhere that he kisses her w/o her consent (since, even though like. implied consent is not real at worst and a fuzzy subject at best but you could argue that scene would want indie to kiss her); and this isn't even taking into consideration that c) melvin is heavily queer-coded in both seasons, with his friendship with nerdcore being, dare i say, homoerotic at times, and his arc about leaving the company and changing his name mirroring nerdcore's almost perfectly (with nerdcore being a character who b*nny [at least] has all but confirmed is actually gay).

i've also been on the fence about melvin's behavior in that final scene making more sense for indie's character being an intentional decision as a way of shoe-horning in a theme about the lasting effects of abuse/cycles of abuse/the corruption of power but i also don't think the f*nes are smart enough for that. however, for the sake of defending my straw theory, i also point to the scene where indie comes to visit the acid factory after melvin told him to shut up, and we see melvin use reggie as a foot-stool, going as far as to say that it feels good to do so (which, in all honesty, i think is a bit that was entirely improvised, since the f*nes were "notorious for never saying cut" [paraphrased from a bts video], but work w me here). he's also given a seltzer mug that perfectly resembles indie's kombucha mug. in these moment melvin is directly emulating the behavior of his previous abuser, purposefully or not, literal moments after being promoted to an equal position of authority, which was totally just included as a joke, but could also be argued is meant to show that he's becoming indie; or, if we acknowledge that the f*nes have no fucking clue what they're doing and were just directing like chickens with their heads cut off, it at least shows that melvin's new position of power is leading him to understand where indie was coming from, which is supported by their conversation in the finale.

the following contains a couple brief mentions of irl sexual assault so if that's something you'd like to avoid skip to the next section!

HOWEVER, that alone isn't what i have a problem with, since i think melvin is completely justified in being a dick to indie (and also reggie enthusiastically consents to being used as an ottoman so good for him i guess). the issue comes completely in how he treats scene in the scenes where the f*nes clearly thought what they were writing was super romantic. like, the fact that the only thing he's got hung on his cubicle wall is a single picture of scene taken from the fucking opening credits (like. how hard would it have been to have. literally any other photo[s] esp since there's an abundance of cute bts pics of the cast in costume that could have been put there) and him scrolling through her twitter at work really creep me out (and at the risk of oversharing the weird, like, social media stalking angle really fucks w me bc that may or may not have been the exact fucking thing i was trying to escape in rewatching mymusic in the first place). also, having him sexually assault scene as a means of comforting her after she had just been sexually assaulted in the same way by someone else was... a choice (which is also, uh, personally familiar).

again, i recognize that demonizing melvin wasn't what the f*nes were trying to do here, and i perhaps seem hypocritical for opening liking jeff, but what makes jeff work is he's intentionally "the bad guy." having melvin do the same things as indie and jeff uncritically only proves further that the f*nes can't write for shit, and ruins his character which had, up until he quit mymusic, been unironically good. like, it's obviously not beneficial that the exact asshole things he does are personally triggering, but the character would still be a mess and i would still dislike him regardless.

i want to say though that jack delivers a surprisingly great performance despite how shoddily his character is constructed and how little experience he has as an actor. like, it's clear he was having a lot of fun on set and i would love to see him in something, like, good; i think he could pull off even like, guest television roles, which is a lot more than can be said for other youtubers.

-----

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

nerdchart should have been canon i'm sorry. i know that close, nonromantic male friendships are valuable, esp between queer men, but also gd wouldn't it have been baller to have a canon interracial mlm ship. like. c'mon. and they could have been such a good friends to lovers story! we already got to see how melvin was the only person nerdcore could really be himself around so it would have been so cool if melvin's self-advocacy arc/flowchart arc had revolved more around nerdcore with a little role-reversal! and then they kiss! like god intended!

also i ship him and indie bc i'm a grubby little gremlin man ohoho. enemies w weird sexual tension? sign me up. not even enemies to lovers i'm not saying this one should have been canon i just love the vibes. do you think melvin and indie ever explored each other's bod-- *gunshot*

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My non-romantic OTP for this character:

i wish him and scene had just been bros. god remember in season one when they were just bros that was the life.

alternatively, i wish we'd seen more bonding w him and metal, as a means of reconciling that. uh. moment from season one. along similar lines i would have loved to see him get closer w rayna in a similar way to how she bonded w nerdcore in season two. i think that could have also worked to show how she'd grown between the two seasons.

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My unpopular opinion about this character:

HIM. AND. SCENE. SHOULD. HAVE. JUST. BEEN. BROS. (though i think my general dislike of him is pretty unpopular, lmao).

when the show was coming out i don't think it's unfair to say that scenechart/scenetern 2 was the most popular ship (aside from potentially techstep whatever) but luckily we're all gay and have better taste now. unfortunately i totally fell into this camp and scenechart was even my otp for years (until it was arguably more unfortunately usurped by reddie in 2019) and i didn't even realise that it's a hot mess until, again, the summer of 2020.

when actually watching the show the choices the f*nes made in regards to how the ship actually became canon are so odd and out of place, too? okay, so, on one hand everyone just shipped scenechart bc it was the whitest hettiest ship in the show (esp in season two when idol left) aside from scindie (and we already discussed what's wrong w that). but, on the other hand, lainey and jack clearly also just got along? and i suspect that lainey probably also admired jack's work and was happy to be working with him bc we have so many shots throughout even the first season when the ship wasn't the intended endgame of lainey scene looking really fondly at jack melvin at times when it doesn't make much sense at all, esp since she's smitten w indie? this trend continues into the second season which arguably works but it still seems really out of place for him to be the one to ultimately make the first move on her since it's clear she was the one crushing this whole time and also he's gay! this bitch is gay what the fuck!!

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One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:

at this point i'm struggling to think of anything i haven't covered yet. oops.

i've talked at length before about how he should have been a woman/lesbian, but the tl;dr is that it would have solved a lot of the queer-coding "problems" that just didn't get resolved in the show. if he'd been a lesbian then not only would the friendship w nerdcore still made sense, but scenechart would have as well (not even mentioning that both of scene's other relationships w men make a lot of sense as comphet anyway).

#long post #this took me an hour to write i literally had to get a snack in the middle of it #mymusicshow #mymusic show #question #mlentertainment #also having a character named scene when you have to write about scenes like. in a story is an absolute bitch

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thewolfisapartofmysoul · 4 years

Text

Hey lovelies.

Got you a Dewey x reader fic.

Reader coming out as ace (asexual) while Dewey is playing the guitar and the reader lounging on his lap. Fluff and angst ahead. All aboard! Fair warning... its quite long...

Hope you enjoy. 💜

..................................................................................

Safe

You and Dewey had been friends since kindergarten. You were as thick as thieves. Being able too see your best friend everyday since you two were roommates only made things better.

Dewey was a incredibly bouncy, happy person. That much you guys had in common. You both were as enthausiastic as you were chaotic sometimes. And when you were having one of 'these' days... the ones when you just woke up grumpy, you could find comfort in the small things in each other. He would give you one single look and knew what kind of day it was. It was on these days that Dewey proved himself being the man, the myth and the legend you believed he was. He would make sure your favorite tea was ready in the morning, with just the right amount of honey in it. And he would do anything to crack your mood up during the day. Including some 'sick' dance moves on random moments, and playing requests you had on his guitar always calmed your mind. In return you knew that playing guitar hero cleared his clouded mind, and spontaneous dance parties always made him smile.

Long story short, you'd be there for each other.

.......

The thing was that lately you came to realise that some things were different for you then they were for him.

You always pictured yourself with a partner as loving and caring as Dewey was. You just KNEW he was your favorite person in the world. It was just... difficult. The whole situation had been difficult. There had to be a person in this universe who wanted to know what made you tick. Besides Dewey. Right?

That was a question your head had been occupied with the last couple of months.

Of course you noticed Dewey going out. On dates. With actual girls.

He wasnt the most popular guy you knew, but damn... he had some charm in that authentic and warm personality he had. He also was kinda cute, you had to admit. But you were 101% cool with him dating. Even helping him pick out outfits and scolding him for forgetting garlic on date-night is a no-go. And when he wouldnt come home at night you would smile to yourself, because you was happy for the dude.

So why werent you out there? Dating? Again? You tried. Hell... you tried so SO hard to actually like people.

Liking wasnt the right word. Cause liking people wasnt that difficult. You could love the personalities of people in a heartbeat. Loved the way they laughed, or the freckles on their face, or the way they sat. You'd loved the way they talked about what drove them, what they were passionate about. You loved so many people. Yet you loved no-one.

You came to realise lately that you were kind of different. For instance: Dewey could swoon over a girl he saw for one second. One moment he was chilling with u at your local bar, the next moment you saw that sparkle in his eyes... And with a wink, a pat on your shoulder and a VERY bad attempt to moonwalk away from you, you knew you didnt had to wait up for him.

That was fine. Never bothered you actually. It was a signal you guys had created. Dewey also knew that when u werent in the mood or okay with leaving alone, you would put on a pouty face. That would be his que to get the random-chick's number, promising to call her, before excusing himself to her and drop back on the barstool beside you.

You liked it that way. He was free to go. As were you. He was your buddy. Your parnter in crime. That was the way it was.

You were just frustrated with yourself the last couple of months.

You could look at a man or a woman and be like: jeez, you are pretty. Look at that adorable face!

You would walk up there, talk to them. Now... that wasnt the hard part. The hard part came after that.

When you talked to someone, wether it be a beautifull quirky women or a handsome kind lad... there always came that moment that they would give a 'certain' comment. Or a glance up and down. Or let their hands wander little bit... and the magic would be gone for you.

Totally gone. Your mind would just go: 'nope'. You would find their smile attractive. But when everyone else's knees would give up at their bedroom eyes they gave you, and them saying something like: "you look like i could eat ya, wanna get out of here?" you would just feel nothing. Besides of getting noxious at the idea of them looking at you that way...

.......

Dewey noticed you getting more silent as you internly struggled with this a while. After 'just' men, you started some online research and tried something new. There was a period u had labeled youself as bisexual. But the label just didn't fit right. You tried the word: 'lesbian' for a month or 3.

Dewey had again proven to be an actual legend, after you told him you might not be straight. He was so pumped for you, buzzing with excitement and acceptance when you told him. He bounced up and down on the couch and offered to go to gay-bars together. You even had to keep him from hanging the actual rainbow-flag out of the window, to support you. Dewey suspected you had just been a late bloomer, so he was more then excited when you seemed to make some steps into the date-world, and wanted to make sure he helped you out were he could.

But that wasnt it either. Being bisexual or lesbian was not what made you you as well.

You had been desperately looking for a label to fit you but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

........

Dewey would notice your online research by accident. He got up from his jamming session at the couch and ruffled a hand tiredly throw his brown locks. You was on a date. With... amy? Agnes? He couldnt quite remember. He chuckled, while opening your computer, hoping you'd been having fun.

He was looking on an article about ACDC he came across a while ago, when the google question popped up in the browser history. He frowed, but clicked anyway. "I dont feel sexual attraction towards people. What's wrong with me?"

A pang of guilt creeped through his chest. Did he totally miss all that? Y/n had fun with people in bars right? She was on a date right this moment... with... Anne, or whats her name again?

Dewey poundered, he would always see you laughing and having fun while chatting to strangers. 'God... you was so likeable it was super-easy for you to make new friends.' But after he put some more thought to it, he couldnt quite remember the last time y/n talked about having a crush. Or kissing someone. She didnt even talked about her date today enough for him to be able to remember her name. He felt a bit sad about it but Dewey had to find out what you were feeling, so he clicked through the rest of the history page.

.......

You actually tried to kiss Alma today, you'd been seeing her for a while... You two had a lot in common and you liked the way she practically buzzed with excitement when she talked about mountainbiking, smiling as she did so.

'it only seemed like the right thing to do' you forced yourself to think that... 'Alma deserved that much, right? She'd been so kind to me...'

After your date Alma reached out to softly grab you by your hip, pulling you towards her. 'Well... here goes nothing...' you thought as she brought her mouth closer to you.

But right when your lips were about to meet, it felt wrong. A panic rose in your chest and before you knew what happened you turned your head slightly and kissed her cheeck. You was infuriated with yourself. 'How could you! After date #3. Were you mad? What was wrong with you?!'

The girl in question seemed just as baffled as you. She smiled a sad smile to you, before giving you a side-hug and catching her train to go home.

You sighed, dropped your shoulders as you slumped home. 'Side-hugs are not good. They're not 'relationship-material', you fool." You wanted so bad to be 'normal...'

.......

By the time you was done walking home you reached a new low-piont in your self-esteem. Thats when you noticed u had a missed call. Dewey. You sighed. He had been SO happy for you to be dating. Enthausiastically helping you with your outfit and even what kind of perfume you should wear. You were not only a dissapiontment for yourself... but for Dewey as well.

You quickly wiped away a tear. Damn this. Damn this shit. Damn this day. You just didnt felt it. Again.

All you wanted to do was to jump into a hot shower, eat some pizza on the couch and lounge on the couch, revel in the safe comfort of Dewey.

You were not dissapionted by the smell of your favorite pizza already stalking towards you on the way to your front door. You smiled a bit at that.

Dewey had seen you crying through the window of your apartment and already planned to do something special for you, since you had such a hard time lately and he had been too oblivious too see it. So he decided to make you your favorite pizza, and just be there for you when your date didnt worked out.

You opened the door and was greeted by a dancing Dewey in his boxershorts and old band t-shirt. He was smiling at you while hopping of the cough while The Pretender of the Foo Fighters blasted through your appartement. He headbanged towards the speakers and you managed to get out a small snort. Your neighbours had to hate you guys.

Wiping your nose you tried to smile at him. But failed miserably. You stood in the middle of the living room feeling small and stupid. Your lip was quivering and you wanted to wipe the tear away that was spilling down your cheeck.

All in that moment Dewey was by your side, wiping away the tear that you inteded to brush away yourself.

You smiled sadly at him, through your tears and sobs. And you heard him mumble your name while pulling you into his arms. "Its okay love. You're okay. Im so proud of you." He started petting your head softly with his calloused fingers and holding you close. He knew this was a big step for you, and didnt asked any questions about your breakdown. Or date. He wanted you to tell him when you were ready. Untill then there were no words needed.

You got out of his loving embrace when you heard something beeping in the distance. "Dew! The pizza!" You smacked his arm and while muttering a "fuck" under his breath, he took a dive towards the oven.

He smiled a lopsided smile to you while striking a ridiculous pose, using the towel in his hands as a cape. He sing song: "i am the pizza heroooooo and i present you your favorite pizza, mylady...." You couldnt help but cackle at that. "Your a weirdo Dew... but thanx pizza-king."

.......

You two ate on the couch after you took a shower and dressed in your favorite sweats.

After Dewey had put away the dishes he dropped on the couch with you and grabbed his guitar. You went to lie with your head on his lap while he was tuning the strings. You listened to him fumbling with some wires and relaxed at the familiar sound and the rise of his chest above you. He played some chords untill there was a rythem in them and you felt your clouded mind become clearer.

You were relaxing against him when you heard him mumble your name... "hey y/n, wanna hear anything particular?" You shaked your head no.

He hummed in response, playing the tune of your favorite song anyway.

Dewey softly started singing:

"And i don't want the world to see me.

Cause i don't think that they'll understand.

When everything is made to be broken.

I just want you to know who i am...."

You felt the tears behind your eyes prickling. With a soft poke in his chest you whispered with all the courage you had left: "...Dew... Dewey..."

"Hmmm...sweetheart, whats up?" He replied softly.

You sighed, rubbing your hand against your forehead, gathering some more courage. You muttered: "I ehm.... I think I need to tell you something Dew..."

He went to put his guitar away. Shifting slightly so you was lying with your head on his lap, and he could look you right in the eye from how he was sitting. He grabbed your hand ,that out of stress had been clutching your own sweater, and placed his hand around yours. Squeezing lightly in encouragement. He smiled at you. It was an understanding smile, full of love and patience. You could cry at that alone. But swallowed your tears away, there had been anough crying today you decided.

Dewey saw you swallow hard and brought your clutched hands to his mouth and kissed them. "You can tell me anyting babe. You know that right?" You hummed in response.

Knowing you could trust him but also feeling incredibly scared and anxious... you stuttered: "Dew... i think... there is a reason i dont... i think i might be..." he squeezed your hand one more time.

You took that as an encouragement and mumbled the words that were nagging you for the past few months, your nerves barely made your voice louder then a whisper: "I think... ehm... I might be asexual Dewey..."

You felt like you could throw up. Or cry. Or both. You actually were about to bolt and do just that, untill you heard a familiar voice bringing u back to the present moment.

"... y/n... love... youknow..."

You coulndnt even hear full scentences of what Dewey was saying. His voice fading away, your nerves making it hard to fucus. He noticed your absence and your shallowing breathing, your breaths becoming faster and shorter with each one you took in. You couldnt even look at him while saying that. You were a pathetic coward... and now he would finally see you for the freak and the outcast you were. He would be disgusted and think you were a robot and leave you... You took another shaking breath...

A feeling brought you out of your shallow breathing. You noticed familliar calloused fingers glide through your hair. Combing through it and massaging your scalp softly. A smile appeared on your face, his movement was slowly getting the darkness outof your head. Finally you dared to look up towards Dewey. He was softly humming to you. His voice always calmed you, definetly right in this moment. His humming grounded you, while he was softly playing with your hair. You felt his other thumb circle softly on your hand he was still holding.

He smiled a soft smile at you, whisperening: "Hey... your back with me princess?" You nodded slowly. Tears spilling on your cheeks once again. "y/n, sweetheart, i love you the way you are. Always did, and always will. You are you. And if that is being asexual, then that's totally okay and i will be here for you. Every step of the way. Im so proud of you..."

He wiped away your tears, and while you choked out a "thank you Dewey", he kissed you on your forehead.

"Im so proud of you coming to terms with yourself. You dont have to do anything you dont want, okay? Dont ever feel obligated to date anyone just to feel 'normal'. You are you, y/n. And you are enough."

You smiled at that and yawned. The emotions of today suddenly making you very tired. "Dew..." you mumbled sleepy.

"Yeah...?"

"You may do the head-massage more often... it feels nice"

He chuckled at that, pinching your nose playfully. "Thats a deal... now off to bed with you, miss platonic."

You chuckled sleepily. Admire-ing his bad jokes even at this time and moment.

"Thanx Dewey..."

"Anytime babe..." he awnsered.

You stood up, your head and body suddenly heavy with sleep. Your mind drifted for a moment, but came back to the presence of Dewey sofly poking your side. You giggled, he knew you were ticklish there, and you swatted his hand away when he tried to do it a second time. He chuckled at that, glad he made you laugh again.

You looked at the floor. Anxiety bubbling in your chest at the nagging question in your head. Could you ask him this? After all that just happened? Would he still take you serious if you did? It wasn't sexual but still as intimate as you could be, and you didn't want to seem like you weren't serious. Since... well... people... sometimes mistook cuddles for sex. You still felt anxcious and conflicted, but didn't want to sleep alone. You took a big breath, looking a bit tired and sleepy up at him. Heart thumping nervously in your chest as your hands started to sweat. You glanced at his face and when you saw a half smile creeping up his face you knew you could ask him anything.

"Dew.... would you..." you had to stop because a yawn was bugging you. You continued after wiping your face sleepily, still anxious: "would you mind sleeping with me tonight? I... just... really dont wanna be alone right now. I need some cuddles." You confessed, biting your lip as you waited for his response. Anxiety slowly spreading in your chest as you waited at his awnser.

Instead of awnsering with words Dewey got up from the couch and pulled you into a big hug, once again petting your hair while holding you tight. You sighed and felt the tension leaving your body as he held you. "Of course..." he mumbled sofly in the crook of your neck. You took a big breath through your nose, nerves calming as you were surrounded by the familiar smell of Dewey. A familiar smell of tea-tree-oil, a bit of sweat and a hint of pizza from your dinner. His body was warm and his stubble tickled your neck as he held you close. You felt safe in his arms, and less troubled. Your mind cleared with every breath you felt him take in as the two stood there together. His hands seemed to wipe every anxious, stressed thought you had away. His calloused fingers still combing trough your hair affectionately. You sighed back at him, relaxed by his caring touch: "Thanx Dew...."

......

When you lay in your bed, later that night you fell asleep quite quickly. You knew you wouldnt be alone. Dewey snored a little in his sleep, and you couldnt help but smile. Feeling safe in his strong arms as he hugged you in his sleep, you felt his calm breath on your neck. The last thing you thought before drifting off was: 'Its gonna be fine. Im gonna be okay. Dewey is with me. Whatever i happen to like or not like, feel or not feel...

Dewey is here. Right by my side.'

Tagging: @paxenera @heknowshisherbs @hoodoo12 @large-unit @little-miss-shy-goth @thats-specific @vicunaburger @ironmansuucks @bugdrinkss @go-commander-kim @stranger-strings

#soft dewey finn #dewey finn imagine #dewey x reader #dewey finn #dewey finn fanfic #dewey finn fanfiction #dewey finn x fem!reader #dewey finn x you #dewey finn x reader #school of rock broadway #school of rock the musical #school of rock fanfiction #school of rock #school of rock musical #alex brightman #bouncy oddball #asexual #lgtbqia+#myownfic

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illnessfaker · 4 years

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[ cw: f-slur, rape mention ]

no reblogs pls. this is a long vent.

haha not to be a hysterical faggot crippled shut-in freak or anything but the way ppl talk abt the defensiveness around the f-slur that some gay/bi male users (and some transfem users) on here as if it's some kind superiority pissing contest thing and not primarily about...respecting the boundaries and experiences of those gay/bi male (and transfem) users. like...being on this site as a fag-adjacent person (i say that half-jokingly because it sounds silly on one hand but on the other that's the most accurate descriptor of my gender identity, lol) is becoming increasingly draining and upsetting with how "progressive" homophobia against gay/bi men is apparently becoming, like, a meme among lgbtq people and that's acceptable somehow bc lgbtq people aren't cishets or because it's "only online" and therefore doesn't matter.

like idgaf abt ppl who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem) using the f-slur in every single context possible. if they're affectionately referring to their gay/bi male (or transfem) friends with that word (so long as said friends are comfortable with it) that's one thing. who cares. i even rb'd something where a cis butch (iirc) lesbian was talking about a gay man she knew who she was affectionatly calling a faggot and the things she said warmed my heart. if they're throwing it around at every opportunity or using it as an edgy insult against random strangers on the internet, that's another. the users on here who do the latter also regularly display behavior that like...shows a pretty clear disdain for gay/bi men (or transfem ppl) not apart of their online or "irl" circlejerks and echo chambers, and that is in no way disconnected from their love of using the f-slur, lol.

the "it's only online and so it's unimportant uwu go outside" thing also really feels like such a spit in the face as someone who both lives in a rural area full of cishet white men with guns that might try to kill me if i walked out of the house in drag (not to mention i live with my bf and his family and his parents are homophobes themselves i'm sure), and is also someone with health issues that usually keep me at home and in bed when i'm not working. i didn't always live here but even in my hometown the only "lgbtq space" i had was the high school GSA which didn't do shit other than the day of silence and was attended by people i did not feel safe around (e.g. my ex-friend who was very emotionally manipulative and ended up raping someone.) i don't have any other lgbtq spaces to go to other than online ones. if i never joined tumblr i might still be a self-hating cishet girl, or i might be dead, who knows. like, i've accepted at this point that personhood isn't something i'm allowed in (outside of my whiteness) so fuck me i guess if we need to but the idea that other young, impressionable, and/or traumatized lgbtq people who only can meet other lgbtq people and learn about lgbtq things online for whatever reason don't deserve to have us make an effort on cultivating internet spaces that are as accessible and safe for them as possible, or that their experiences and feelings are somehow unimportant is just...vile. like ofc not everyone needs to "pander" to "logged on" disabled fags like myself maybe but if you have any kind of large following on social media maybe consider that the things you say and do on said social media have like...an actual effect on other people instead of pretending that it's "just online" and therefore consequences for your actions either don't matter enough (to you personally) or somehow don't exist.

but going back to the fag thing, most popular lgbtq tumblr users on my dash i see nowadays just...simply do not give a shit whatsoever about gay/bi men, to the point they're normalizing "progressive" and "acceptable" homphobia against us bc they've convinced themselves due to the bigotry some gay/bi men (often cis, white, and wealthy mind you) exhibit we are "the cishets of the lgbtq community," despite horrific violence still being committed against us every day and despite other lgbtq people being capable of engaging in that violence themselves. ppl make thinly veiled jokes and memes where the punchline is men having sex with each other or effeminacy as if those things aren't primary avenues for gay/bi men being abused, assaulted, and killed (including acts of abuse and assault of a sexually-driven nature), as if said jokes and memes don't serve to normalize the mentalities that drive homophobic hate crimes. it's not like...a coincidence that most lgbtq people who makes these jokes aren't gay/bi men (or transfem). this doesn't even get into how things like homophobia and anti-effeminacy can pretty much boot certain gay/bi men from manhood...or womanhood...or any place in gender altogether.

call me exlusionary if you want but i think it's fair to say that the chances of people who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem*) facing the repurcussions of those mentalities in any meaningful way, the chances of these people actually having lived as or going to live as "faggots" is any meaningful sense is slim to none, and that's why they're so comfortable participating in this shit, and that's why i'm triggered(tm) by them "reclaiming" faggot (which doesn't really involve reclamation bc calling random strangers on the internet or gay/bi men you hate a slur isn't reclamation you morons), because frankly if you're not apart of either of those groups, you're just not a fucking faggot. it's not your word just because some rando on overwatch called you it for picking hanzo in comp. period. end of story. it's also just extremely absurd to try and claim faggotry as something you experience while...readily and happily engaging in homophobia and fag-hate (which isn't synonymous with the former term but i'm talking abt ppl who probably seldom ever engage which discussions and theory surrounding how homophobia instrumentates itself in society - or at least that which doesn't conform to their worldview). within the gay/bi male community there's plentu of masc "straight-acting" gays who weaponize this shit against fem gays and they (should) get held accountable in the same way. you're not special.

and god, being told my gendered experiences as a fag-adjacent person where (white) cafab women are fully capable of engaging in social forms of "oppression" against me and other fags in undeniably gendered ways is somehow an outlier and therefore not reflective of broader social by (white) masc urbanite tbros with definitively more social standing than i'll ever have in my life, as if i somehow developed this understanding of gendered violence just based off my own life and not...the reported and sometimes even recorded experiences of countless other fags who get mocked and silenced because anything that deviates from a watered down, shoddy cis feminist take on gender is fake news(tm) or bordering on saying misandry exists (like no it doesn't exist but acting as if homophobic shit like anti-sodomy laws, for example, has zero to do with gay/bi men's manhood is just nonsensical). convos on here abt gender being mostly dominated by (white) cafab women or sometimes (white) masc trans guys is such a mistake lmao.

anyway i'm tired and stressed and pretty done with having "acceptable" homophobic shit shoved in my face on a daily basis both online and offline but nevertheless i must persist because i'm not lucky enough to have anywhere else to go, really. just...think critically abt ur actions regarding gay/bi male sexuality and gender-stuff pretty please. please.

( *disclaimer just in case that i definitely don't see transfems as some "type" of gay/bi men. there are transfems who identify with gay/bi manhood and/or faggotry. there are transfems who don't. that's entirely up to them. thank u. )

#op #🌙#homophobia #gender #site culture #no reblogs -

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anteakwa · 5 years

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tootsie isn’t a bad show: an essay by tumblr user phantom-evil-nightshade (with proof!)

ever since it opened, tootsie the musical has been getting a lot of hate from broadway fans. kind of sad, in all honesty—it truly isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. i’ve watched both the movie and saw the broadway show, so allow me to explain youtube-commentator style why this show is very not transphobic or misogynistic or whatever and why everyone thinks it is. feel free to debate with me in dms, reblogs or replies, but if you make it obvious that you didn’t read this then i will only ignore you.

to kick things off, we’ll be going in chronological order. so let’s go way back to the original movie from 1982. the movie “tootsie”, starring dustin hoffman, is about a man named michael dorsey who disguises as a woman to get a job. cue the high jinks as michael finds himself in very sticky situations, including men wanting to kiss him, his friend getting upset because she was trying to get the role he got, and his inability to ask out the girl he likes because she sees him as a woman.

seems problematic, right?

well, not exactly. the funniest scenes in tootsie (both the movie and the musical) are caused because of michael’s own mistakes. it’s acknowledged throughout both versions that what michael’s doing is bad. hell, there’s a whole song in the musical (“jeff sums it up”) where he says “you fucked it up-you really fucked it up” like ten times.

now, let’s discuss further the two versions together. i saw the movie in preparation for the musical, but when i saw the musical, a lot was changed—from the obvious to the subtle, it’s near impossible to call the musical problematic if you’ve seen it. by “seen it”, i don’t mean “just read one or two reviews and decided you knew everything”. i mean actually saw the musical live, or a bootleg of it. because here are some things the reviews DONT tell you (in the musical):

when jeff (michael’s roommate) finds out about what he’s doing, he tells him that it could be really harmful to certain groups of people. i couldn’t remember all of it, since he was speaking kinda fast, but i do remember he said “gay women, straight women, trans women” right at the end. the show openly acknowledges that michael’s actions aren’t good, and are fueled by his own selfishness.

another gem from our boy jeff is from the same scene as the one above, i believe, as it also ties into what point was made there. jeff tells michael that he just stole a job from a woman, and went on about misogyny in not just the theatre industry, but the working industry in general. and by the way, this and the thing above weren’t meant to be jokes—although it is a comedy, this scene was serious (some people even clapped for jeff).

the woman michael falls in love with is NOT A LESBIAN. this seems to be a super common misconception in the tootsie hate playgroup. she isn’t a lesbian in either the movie or the musical. she literally has a song in the musical where she sings about how she met a guy she loved, but he left her because he wanted a wife and kids, but she wanted to pursue an acting career and just didn’t have the time to be a housewife (“there was john”). i’ll explain it in further detail here—at the very end of act 1, julie kisses michael (as dorothy) on the cheek, and he kisses her back, but impulsively on the mouth as a lover would. they both get super flustered and julie runs off, and michael mad at himself. now, i can see where the lesbian misconception comes from—there’s a scene in act 2 at julie’s house where julie asks dorothy if they can date. i didn’t understand this scene a lot, but i personally believe it’s because julie mistook kindness for love, and also thought dorothy loved her because of the kiss before and wanted to make her happy. however, there was some dialogue here which pretty much speaks for itself:

dorothy: i’m not a lesbian!

julie: neither am i.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MICHAEL WASNT INSTANTLY FORGIVEN. everyone was pissed at him. he was immediately fired, there was a whole two minute long scene where sandy was destroying michael’s stuff while jeff watched in amusement, and julie was incredibly angry. the last scene reminded me a lot of that of dear evan hansen. michael finds julie in a park and tries to explain his actions. he tells her that he only did it for the work, and that he wants to make it up to her. he tells her that he wants to try and learn how to be dorothy, but without the wig and dress (since dorothy was someone julie could trust and feel comfortable around). julie tells michael that being a woman was so much harder than anything he experienced as both himself and dorothy, and he understands completely. she doesn’t quite forgive him, but she’s obviously willing to try.

another thing that i see a lot of is controversy around one line in the show taken vastly out of context. after michael reveals he’s a man, he says something along the lines of “being a woman is not the job of a man” (forgive me if the wording is a bit wrong). this quote was taken out of context and was spread with the intention of making people think that it was an attack against trans women. but, let me repeat: it was taken out of context. you had to hear how passionately he said it to understand fully, but when he said it, he meant it in the sense that was mentioned earlier: how he stole a job from a woman. the audience clapped after he said that. it’s hard to completely explain, but again, everything he said was about him being sorry for taking the job (he was talking to sandy), and it took me a couple seconds after he finished it to even think “hey, that quote sounds familiar”.

that’s all i can think of for now. as said at the beginning, i’m open to civil debates and questions about anything i could’ve possibly missed. will add anything more if i think about it in a reblog.

#tootsie #tootsie on broadway #tootsie the musical #broadway #broadway musicals #santino fontana

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mlm-only-support · 4 years

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I'm sending this bc hoping to offer perspective? I just discovered the "mlm only discourse," but legit the first 5 blogs I found were truscum and/or transmed before I found yours. I'm a nb lesbian, and even with staying pretty quiet and tailoring my online experience, up until the past few months I've seen much more nb exclusionary stuff than support. Fact of the matter is, a lot of people who tout this use the cover of "I just want an exclusive space!" Which sucks bc they're (1/?)

continued: turning the totally reasonable request of wanting a space JUST for people like them (which I totally get), into a dogwhistle, similar to how terfs post stuff that *seems* reasonable but is actually filled with transphobic ideology. This doesn't excuse people sending hate or dead bodies (jfc) by ANY means. But also as somebody who's been mocked a lot over gender and felt for years I couldn't ever identify as I am, seeing an outcropping of nb exclusionary blogs oft headed by truscum/transmed (2/?)

is.... certainly a HUGE red flag, you understand? And it's really unfair to mlm who legit just want a place on the internet to just themselves. I get that I'm not the exact same, but the experience sort of parallels so I was hoping I could offer perspective from the "other side" as it were. Maybe spreading the use of "transphobes/enbyphobes(forget the word)/truscum/transmed/etc. DNI" in banners would help? Because as it is I think that's what's causing a lot of frustration for even (3/?)

innocent nb people because we're so used to hostility, and is a breeding ground for people who can use this as an excuse to promote their harmful ideology regarding nb people. I understand now that "mlm only" is an innocent claim, but it seems to have been quickly co-opted, and it would help if there was a seen effort that showed excluding nb people on a more "fundamental" level isn't okay. Not that I'd want to be in the space of a truscum "nblx dni" person anyway, but this kind of (4/?)

breeds an environment where nb people are expected to sit down an shut up and accept growing numbers of anti-nb spaces because if we do say anything we're called out on being invasive and can't respect people's boundaries, when in actuality that's a cover intentionally being used by hateful people to simultaneously prove how bad we are and successfully lock us out of our communities. And these feelings could be avoided and hateful people quickly shut down if suggested DNI became common. (5/?)

Sorry this was so long but I felt I couldn't message because even though you seem kind, I'm afraid of not being anon because historically I've gotten hate and belittled and told to change my identity etc. whenever I try to speak up. This isn't entirely my place, but I'm hoping that suggestion could help before "mlm only" becomes common shorthand for being hateful and exclusionary like similar sentiments in nblw and wlw spaces have- that screws everyone over, including people who are (6/?)

earnest and welcoming but simply want some mlm spaces for themselves. (Also will help slow spread of indoctrination hopefully, because like how terfs prey on young lesbians, most of the nblm dni people I saw were under 20, and a lot of truscum/transmeds I see are generally young trans men who were absolutely predated on by older exclusionists). Thank you for your time, and I sincerely hope I didn't intrude. I just want these communities to be safe for all who need them. ❤ -Avery (7/7)

(also separate but sorry if that last one sent a bunch of times, I kept getting errors. extra sorry i know i can be long winded but that was like, impossible to condense, yknow? thank you for your time even if you don't feel comfortable posting that, and have a great day and hope you are doing well in these times!

alright so first i wanted to say thank you for taking the time to write your ask, im always open to answering things like this. as well, if you ever do want to dm me, i am completely open to dms and would never do anything like try to change your identity or convince you otherwise because thats just not how i roll

so getting to the content of the ask, i do agree theres a... disturbing growing trend of enbyphobia in the mlm-only community.

our specific community is small, only about 30-40 people. ive noticed about... 3 or 4 blogs that are incredibly aggressive to nonbinary people. ive been thinking of calling one out in particular that constantly posts stuff like "fuck nb people you guys cant fucking read and i dont want you on my fucking blog" (like yikes dawg). i think people like that are using the guise of mlm-only in order to treat nb people like shit, and thats not what i want our community to be about.

ive also noticed the trend of people saying things like "you cant be an nb man" and "you cant be nblm and mlm". this one has existed for a while, before all of the aggression cropped up. i think these people are pretty confused and id honestly want to have a discussion with them to see if i can educate them, or to see if they just... dont want to change their view. i dont see how invalidation of peoples personal identities belongs on a blog about liking men (newsflash, guys: you dont have to want to date them to respect them! its really easy, haha), so god knows why posts like that are made!

i think the banners would be a good idea for mlm-only blogs that are truly nb supportive, to try and weed out parts of the community that post shit like that.

tldr; anon said it was a good idea to make dni banners for mlm-only blogs that say "enbyphobes dni" and things like that, and i agreed because ive been seeing really aggressive enbyphobia in the community for a bit.

#ask #anon #long post #text heavy #not receipts

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