#but i will be less active as i will be busy mentally

[bruttomisandro]

here we go again

[craycraybluejay]

next session im gonna tell my therapist to help me make a habit of journaling privately because y'all don't understand the difference between "personal post" and "discourse post." and also because yeah no it is silly to get too personal online and i do need to practice better impulse control. also like. i need to try to shift my tumblr to be a little more professional and promote my commissions. sighhhhh.

anyway mutuals thank u for sticking by me and making social media slightly less of a mental unhealth cesspit. you brighten my day and i hope i can occasionally brighten yours

[batterygarden]

OMG i missed ur lasts posts i was getting worried about u bc u didn't post for so long 😞😞

OOOH ur sweet for worrying but I am still here I am still kicking!!! 🫂

[just-jordie-things]

megumi and the reader making out??? idk the context tho. but pls yeah? 🥹🥹

ok this ask is old but i saved it bc it was golden and open ended enough i am happyyyy to provide :3 :3

___

megumi is the kind of boyfriend that gets carried away... which might not be all that out of the norm, if he wasn't such an oblivious hypocrite about it.

he's all "sweetheart, we have to go, they're waiting" while actively hooking his fingers through your belt loops to pull you in closer. your reaction is seized by his lips on yours again.

he'd barely even pulled away to scold you, and yet here he was tugging you closer and closer until you were left no choice but to crawl into his lap, legs prettily sprawled over both of his in that way you both knew he liked.

and then he has the audacity to warn you again while his teeth graze over your lower lip, capturing it without quite biting down-

"you're going to make us late"

- this is ironic because he's all bark and no bite.

you should be used to this by now, as megumi always found a way to wrap you both up in the heat of the moment when you're supposed to be somewhere. this time it's a movie with your friends, who were probably awkwardly stalling in the common room. five minutes ago you were all excited for this movie. but at the present moment it's barely clinging on to the back of your mind.

except when megumi's busy reminding you how now is not the time for a makeout session. only to silence himself by making out with you. you could almost laugh- if you weren't rendered breathless by the hot and heavy kisses he's laying against your lips.

his fingers are stating to push past the hem of your shirt, and you really tried to get yourself to push his hands away so that you could put a stop to this while there was still time... but as soon as your hands land on his he's grabbing you by the wrists and pulling you in closer until you're chest to chest. you huff with a mix of annoyance and desperation, but megumi seems indifferent to the sigh you've muffled against his mouth.

truth was, he didn't have a care in the world how long his friends waited on you both. if he was busy with you- especially when you're being so good and pretty on his lap for him- there was nothing that was going to take him away from this moment until he was damned ready to do so.

he liked the way you pretended to struggle and convince him to get up and go, the quiet whispered whines of "gumiiii" into his lips while you, too, were too wrapped up in him to really care enough to crawl out of his lap. so who was the real hypocrite here?

so he chuckles when he feels you melt a little deeper into him, your arms heavy against his chest as your fingers reach into the hair at the nape of his neck, how heavily you're breathing through your nose, your chest rising and falling against his as you push just a little harder to be closer. if he didn't know any better he'd think you were trying to push him all the way down till his back hit the bed and you'd be victorious in caging him beneath you. (he thinks he'd quite like it if you had your way with him right here and now, even if that movie is starting in less than thirty minutes) but unfortunately, you're too soft pliable under his hands to make a move like that, so megumi gathers that you'll just give in to his every will and kiss until he decides for the both of you that it's time to go.

his hands squeeze the soft flesh at your hips, his lips barely detching from yours as he opens his eyes to get a good look at you. in this moment, he thinks you're the prettiest thing in the world. your brows furrowed in frustration with him, but your lips swollen and pouty as soon as they aren't paired up with his. no movie was more enticing than the image right before his eyes. even the mental picture won't do it justice.

"what 'm i gonna do with you, hm?" he muses, lips grazing yours before you're the one seizing forward to continue what he started.

and you both know exactly what he has in mind.

(yuji and nobara get a text like three minutes later with a horrible excuse standing them up for the movie. neither one of them are surprised but they talk their shit anyways !!)

[starastrologyy]

Astrology Notes 🪐

Hi everyone :) My chart readings are still open! The link is in my bio for those who are interested 🤍 My reading reviews are on my Masterlist :)

When your Solar Return Mars is in the 6th house, this is likely to be a very productive year. However, you need to make sure you’re taking care of your health and not overworking yourself. Burnout and poor health will often emerge in such a year, if you are not prioritizing your health and peace.

If you have the ruler of your midheaven in the 10th house, you may own your own business or be in a managerial position at your job. People who reach great heights in the careers often have this placement. It is also possible that you may work in a traditionally ‘prestigious’ or well respected career. Examples are working as a doctor, lawyer, CEO of a successful company etc…

If you have the ruler of your 8th house in the 4th, you may find that you make a lot of money investing in real estate. This is also a placement that can suggest receiving an inheritance from a family member.

Saturn transiting your 3rd house can be a very somber time in your life. You may feel unmotivated or prone to feelings of loneliness and melancholy during this time. Similar to Saturn transiting the 9th house, your outlook on life in general may not always be the most pleasant during this time. Nevertheless, this can be a good time to enroll in a short course or some kind of educational program.

Saturn in the 9th house of a composite chart can be that the two people have very different belief systems and that consequently causes restrictions within the relationship. However, it can also be the opposite. Meaning, the thing that “binds” the couple together is in fact their shared belief systems. Saturn in the 9th is also common to see in the composite charts of couples who are long distance or those who travel long distances together(couples who travel to different countries together).

Something so interesting is that we often have aspects or placements that are associated with the sign over one or both of our parents 5th house cusp. For example, your mother may have Uranus in the 5th house, and you may have an Aquarius Sun, Moon, or rising. Alternatively, it could be that Uranus aspects many of your other placements. I know this may not apply to everyone, but look into your parent’s birth charts! You may be surprised!

A new romantic or business relationship can often start when your Progressed Moon makes a conjunction to your natal descendent. This is especially true if it is a “progressed new moon”. Meaning, your progressed moon is making a conjunction to your natal sun.

Moon square Mars synastry can at times be difficult (especially if it occurs at an orb that is less than 3 degrees) because the Moon person may perceive the Mars person as being insensitive, harsh, or even impulsive. Whereas the Mars person can view the Moon person as being overly sensitive. In a romantic relationship, this aspect can add to the attraction. However, if there are no mitigating factors there can be hurt feelings over time.

When someone’s Mercury falls into your 12th house in synastry, you may feel comfortable opening up to them, and telling them things you would not ordinarily tell someone else. You could often talk about spirituality, mental health, and things you prefer to keep “hidden” from others. At times you may even feel like they can “read your mind” or easily sense what you’re thinking.

People with the North Node in the 7th house tend to be hyper independent (South Node 1st house). Thus, actively dedicating time to connect meaningfully with others is a big part of their karmic destiny here on earth. There is a tendency to self isolate with a 1st house south node, especially when the individual is struggling in any capacity.

On the topic of isolation, those who have the ruler of their Ascendant in the 12th house are also inclined to isolate themselves from the world when struggling. Escapist behaviors can also be high with this placement. However, these are some of the most compassionate and resilient people you will meet.

People with Mars retrograde in their charts may struggle when it comes to the manner in which they express anger/their drive. These people can often hold onto anger for extended periods of time only to let it all out at once. Thus, their anger can often seem misplaced or to come from “out of the blue”.

[cupids-chamber]

— " 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 " | Listen to this on loop for full experience.... ★. Content tags/warnings , 1.1k+ words, gender neutral reader, technically everyone x reader (including staff/not so much RSA), can be seen as both platonic and romantic, angst, mentions of food/eating less (reader no longer has an appetite), reader is tired, reader is having a really bad day, reminder: I haven't written in awhile.

Today was a difficult day, many days have challenged you in so many different ways, yet a keen feeling of gloominess had washed over you this particular morning. Your alarm rang blankly into the silent room, you let out a groan of displeasure as you sat up on your bed, staring blankly at the wall feeling a churn in your gut. The curtains were closed, a small ray of light shone through the empty space between your window and the fabric of the curtain; you took a moment to sit and stretch. 

Mentally you cursed yourself, reaching a hand to shut off your phone alarm. Perhaps it was a bad idea staying up late after all, yet how could you resist the urge to finish that new Twisted Wonderland fanfic you found on AO3 recently; The reader resonated deeply with you, and the author's writing was just what you needed. Your eyes stung, you felt like banging your head into your headboard just to stop it from ringing and aching, not to mention you could practically feel the weight of your eyebags.—had you known your body would behave in such a way, you'd have slept at least a bit earlier—Well that's what you're saying now at least, you knew you'd probably repeat the same mistake tonight if another storyline enraptured you just as much as the previous did. 

You began standing up, your whole body woozy from the lack of sleep, you found yourself stumbling over something you left on the floor. You recall how tired you were, too done with the day to be bothered to pick it back up. You walked right past it, 'today was going to end badly' you thought to yourself, since your morning had been a dead giveaway. 

You pocketed some random snack, as breakfast; Running a bit later as per usual. You'd lie to yourself, saying that you'd get up a bit earlier tomorrow but you knew for a fact that unless a miracle happened, you wouldn't. 

The rest of the day was but the same routine, you felt tired all throughout your morning classes, on edge. You would've fallen asleep but you tried to keep your eyes open, as your professor was going over some important project intel that you really didn't want to miss—though you were only half understanding what they were saying—their words felt like gibberish for your only half-functioning brain.

Lunch felt like a chore, despite it usually feeling like a break. You felt like something bad was definitely going to happen, which made you feel anxious; The churn in your gut made it difficult to eat, chew, or drink. Your lunches weren't all that gigantic, as you disliked the feeling of being bloated, yet you barely could find it in yourself to eat. You took a deep breath, you logged into tumblr, perhaps one of your favorite fanfic writers uploaded something new? Anything to distract this heavy mind of yours. 

You checked @kalims page first, they hadn't uploaded in a while—It's been a couple days since they've posted; you figured they'd be busy with school… You pondered on the following page for a while, checking @spadecentral‘s blog, they were far more active then most other blogs you’ve been following and their soft and sweet writings was perhaps just what you needed in this tim—They haven’t uploaded in a while as well? You looked at your screen, maybe everyone was just busy with their finals and/or finishing up midterms at this time. 

You hummed, scrolling frantically through your follows, you sighed softly, maybe today wasn't the day to read fluff, you started checking yandere blogs; ‘nothing like obsessive men to calm you down’ you thought as you clicked on @writingforatwistedworld‘s blog, you scrolled down.. 

‘Weird, nothing new..’, it was as if the whole world had conspired against you today, you took a sigh, perhaps @honey-milk-depresso had uploaded something new on her art blog, after all their wholesome tsundere ship art was just the perfect source of serotonin—And if you were just a bit lucky, perhaps she’s uploaded writing onto her main blog an—Oh.. She hasn’t uploaded either?..  

Your brows furrowed letting out a tired sigh, maybe you should just listen to some music. ‘How bad could this day possibly go?’—you consoled yourself with those words, as you tried finishing up at least a small portion of your meal. 

You forced yourself to clean up and change, crashing onto your bed afterwards. It always felt softer on these sorts of days. Like a welcoming warm embrace, that you didn't want to leave. You took a few moments to vent your stress onto one of your poor pillows, before getting nice and cozy with your warm blankets. 

You laid down on your bed, burying yourself in the blankets, as you grabbed your device from near you, turning the brightness to the lowest possible setting, perhaps you should finish your general tasks on Twst before you take a nap.. 

10 minutes passed and you let out a groan, where did the app go? You never heard of an app disappearing randomly; perhaps you miss-clicked and hid it by accident? A few minutes passed, and you still couldn't find the Twisted Wonderland app, you desperately opened up your computer.. Typing in panic, and yet the official website was gone as well—perhaps it’s just going through some weird update?—Maybe this was only happening to certain servers. You logged into tumblr once again, checking your mutuals profiles and.. some of them were gone? Most of the blogs had nothing from Twisted Wonderland left, the tumblr tags for Twst were completely empty. 

Two hours had only passed and your panic grew, it was odd. You scrolled through your mutual’s blogs for minutes on end hoping to find one post about the game which put a smile on your face on the daily... Yet none... You went on AO3 and even checked other websites which you'd only go to out of sheer desperation for content... Yet nothing...  

You took deep breaths, your breathing pacing as you scrolled till your fingers began to sting from pressure and stress.. Your back arched, as you stared at the screen with an intense expression, desperately tapping away…  finally you entered the app store hoping this was a weird dream or update, like those movies and manga’s and yet.. the app was gone. No mention of it.

You couldn’t even trace a single picture of the game down, not even on Pinterest where everything deleted was still sometimes somehow available. 

'Were you crying? You couldn't quite tell, you felt tired, perhaps this fictional world was just something you created as an escape, yet you didn't think you'd get this attached to some characters on a screen, and now that's it's all gone you feel... kind of.. empty.' 

‘Maybe it was all just a fragment of your imagination…’

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© cupids-chamber, do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work without prior permission and or confirmation.

[mrsnancywheeler]

the lakes (1) // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: it's supposed to be over, you and Finnick are supposed to spend the rest of your lives helping each other heal. living as peacefully as possible, but the the third quarter quell throws a wrench in your domestic bliss.

next chapter

prequel

warnings: ANGST, allusions to death/mental problems as a result of the games/trafficking, arguments, finnick had a savior complex, but reader also low-key has one, unedited, maybe ooc!finnick it's how I interpret him but maybe you don't, mentions of past breakups, may be more I didn't catch, no use of y/n, terms of endearment like my love, angel, sweet boy

1.6k words

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Snuggled up to his side on the couch is where you felt safest, even with the pit in your stomach as you waited for whatever cruel twist Snow would announce for the Third Quarter Quell. You could tell Finnick had been anxious too, even if he would never want to verbalize it. He'd spent the day finding an activity to keep his mind busy at every second, little home renovations he'd never spoken of before, catching more fish then you could possibly eat, bossing you around as he did each thing all of which was so him, but there wasn't a moment of peace. He didn't stop to just hold you or stare out at the waters, there was no time when he knew that this year being a mentor would be much more difficult.

You knew that too, you'd been doing it for less time then he had, but it was eating you up inside. Even though the day was nearly barren of sweet nothings or the usual honey of his voice, him holding you as you stared at the screen made all the difference. But then your world stopped.

“As a reminder that even the strongest cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, on this Third Quarter Quell Games, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of victors in each District.” Snow’s voice was exactly that, cold and icy. You felt nauseous and dizzy the moment the words left his cocky, freezing lips. Then the warmth from Finnick was gone, leaving you just as frozen.

“Finnick-" You began almost robotically as he stood, exiting the room. He said something incoherently and you knew better than to follow him. Both of you dealt with things differently. It was a thought true and tested that he would pull away to handle and you would cling closer. You hoped that being with him for so long would remind him of the happy medium.

Feeling consumed by sadness, anger, and a tinge of selfishness for even wanting Finnick’s comfort when he had so much to process you rose from your position on the couch as you mechanically walked towards the bedroom. Hearing the front door slam shut you knew Finnick was long gone, off to seek the refuge of the oceans currents. The warmth of a singular tear straying from your eyelids brought a stark contrast to how you felt.

They say everyone deals with grief differently, so maybe that explained why you’d just continued with your might as normal. Nearly burning your skin off with the warmth of the shower, stiffly moving through your nightly skincare routine, doing the dishes Finnick usually insisted upon working on, and finally when you'd sat down at your vanity for the final steps of your bedtime routine Finnick had reappeared. 

“You can't go back." Was all he said and you stared at him somberly in the mirror.

“That's not your decision to make." It wasn't angry or malicious, it was just a sad truth. There was no control over any of it and quietly you cursed Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire for ever daring to defy the Capitol's rules. Even if you knew it wasn't her fault that Snow was harsh and cruel, maybe if she'd played safely like everyone else had you and Finnick could be still curled up on the couch chatting mindlessly.

“It can be, I can ask people to volunteer, you need to be safe.” He was like a flighty bird as he knelt down besides where you sat. You could tell he'd been crying by the bloodshot look of his eyes.

"My life isn't more valuable then anyone else's Finnick. That's not fair and you know it.”

"I don't care."

“Mags is too old, she deserves to be in peace when she goes, Annie wouldn't be able to handle that, and Ondine would say no and I wouldn't blame her.”

"You can't volunteer. You have to promise me that, I need you to promise me that.” His eyes were so desperate, so pleading and his hands clung to your knees. You felt your eyes brimming with tears as you shook your head.

"You know I can't do that.” It was true you wouldn't put poor, unstable Annie through that, Mags wouldn't survive, and Ondine probably could, but you'd be eaten by guilt if you let her. You doubted that you could be the victor once again, but it would be better than making any of them face it. 

Finnick hit the top of your table as he stood, “Goddammit, don't be stubborn about this, angel. I need you to stay here, you can't go back!" He was trying to hold back his own storm of tears which he was gulping down.

“Finnick, could you promise me the same thing? Could you swear to me that you wouldn't volunteer either?" He was silent and simply stared back at you. So you nodded and rose to your feet as well.

“That's different and you know it! There's been whispers amongst different Victors about rebellion and with this happening there has to be more imminent plans. I can be on top of them, angel, I can help end this." Your sweet, sweet boy who so vehemently needed to rid the world of the system that had hurt him so badly and so many others like him before it could do more damage.

“If you do that, if any of that happens. I need to be with you, Finnick. We can do that together, you don't get to just cut me out because you want to protect me. We're a team!” You made sure to keep your voice even, although all the built up emotions made you want to yell it all, to cry it out, and scream so gutturally that everyone would know what was happening.

"That's not fair." He repeated back at you, blinking away his oncoming tears. “I need you to be safe, to know you're gonna be okay. If I'm thinking about the future of the Rebellion then I can't be worrying about keeping you alive too.” His voice was harsher and louder, then suddenly you couldn't stop yourself from raising your voice to the same tone as his.

"I've won these before, Finnick, I'm not helpless! You have left me stranded before and I have dealt with it, and I won. I'm not some damsel you need to save.” The rational side of you knew that you were being unreasonable, but so was he. You did need him, you needed him so desperately that thinking of him is what had kept you fighting the first time around. You loved the fact that he didn't make you pretend to be all the things you were spouting out, you didn't have to act strong when you weren't feeling it and he would take care of you. But now, when it would be life or death, you didn't need that used against you.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. I know you can take care of yourself, but that won't stop the fear of you getting hurt from eating me up inside.” Suddenly his forehead was pressed to you're, it was so intimate and so soothing it was already balancing you out. You forced your voice back to the soft tone it had once held.

"Finnick if I'm here and the Rebellion you're planning happens, they'll come for me. Snow will make sure that I'm not safe, he could have me killed for being with Finnick the rebel. I would be safer with you then in the palms of the Capitol.” His hands caressed your face with heat that relaxed your tense muscles simply on impact. 

“I just want to come home to you." His muscular arms were wrapped around you as he whispered his confession and let himself fully break down with you. Sobbing down your back and suddenly you didn't feel your own tears. All of you just wanted to help him, to absorb with warmth and give it back to his tortured soul. Your sweet boy.

“I know." You said it so lightly it could have been lost in the breeze, but Finnick was tucked into you so tightly that he heard. “Can we just go to bed, please? I just want to be with you."

Finnick reluctantly pulled himself away from you only because he knew he could envelop you in the further safety of your blankets. “Of course, my love." He muttered as he pressed his salty lips to your forehead. The dilemma would be left here for now, but he would convince you. His brain and heart were still scrambling for any loophole to keep you out of the arena, as distanced from the rebel plans as possible, and as protected as need be from any and all who could pose harm. 

Even if you were strong, charming, and smart, the Capitol's Princess. He knew you were all he needed, you accepted him and his flaws so fully, so blatantly shared each crevice of your soul with him that none of that mattered because it was the domestic bliss that you were really built for, that you deserved. The life with the house on the beach, where kids could run around and you would garden that he would fight to give you, but couldn't allow any chance that could prevent you from getting there.

But it broke you knowing that he wanted to protect you so bad he didn't open up, that there was a lack of trust in what he said simply in omission. You wanted to protect him just as badly in a way he couldn't understand, you wanted to be consumed by his every moment. To be two halves of one whole in any way you could and you feared your own instability would show if he was gone. You'd hidden it so well when he was there to calm you, but as you held each other so tightly both of your thoughts were silly consumed with the threats of what was to come. 

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

more of this series to come because I have a lot of thoughts even though this part was shorter. thank you for reading and so many of you for the support! if you enjoyed them let me know by liking, reblogging, commenting, or any type of feedback. feel free to fill my asks with thoughts lmao because it's consuming my thoughts. love you guys 💋

taglist: @imaegonstargaryenswife0 @avoxrising @artsyaquarium @jennaaaaaaaaaaaa @secretsicanthideanymore

[ms-demeanor]

I'm fascinated by your take on map/directions apps! Is there something besides the location tracking issue that makes you dislike them?

Warning for cellphones are the devil and thomas edison was a witch type thoughts but I think that people are worse at navigating than they used to be.

Map-reading and navigation are important skills but they're skills you need to practice in order to maintain them. But also I think it's important to learn your environment and I think that navigation apps discourage exploration and experiencing the area around you.

IDK I just think that it's an extremely good idea to go out and get yourself (safely, don't do this in a forest or a desert) lost and find your way out of being lost through trial and error every couple of months. You gotta wander around and look at stuff. You gotta find out what walkways are blocked off by chainlink. If you don't practice getting yourself unlost you're going to have a much worse time of it if you end up actually lost and I genuinely think this is an important troubleshooting skill that was extremely common fifteen years ago that is much less common today.

To be fair: people having trouble navigating is ALSO something that I found concerning before the iPhone was invented (did you know that people used to call up restaurants and businesses on the phone and ask for directions to your place of business? Have you ever tried to get someone unlost over the phone?) but also I've seen enough people express concern about how they would get home without a phone that I can't help but worry that they're serious.

I don't think that everyone needs to be able to read a map or to go orienteering - I'm aware that there are disabilities that make things like map reading and identifying cardinal directions extremely difficult and I do think it's good that there are tools that can help with those things - but I do think that getting lost and unlost is also a good survival skill/coping mechanism/mental puzzle/way to ameliorate anxiety/bonding activity that more people should be comfortable experiencing.

[sourlove]

My In-Laws ~ Part II of 'My Mistake' YANDERE TODOROKI SHOTO

TW: OBSESSION, DELUSION, MENTIONED ARSON, IMPLIED VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF MAFIA AND GANG ACTIVITIES

A/N: This is a quirkless AU so the Todoroki family isn't as fucked up. Touya never left but Enji is still lowkey an asshole. Also sorry this took a while, haven't been feeling very well.

READ PART 1 HERE

You should have gone to law school like your mom wanted you to. You had such a bright future. Now here you were, dressed to the nines, heading to an event you had no business being at, with a man who was convinced the both of you were madly in love.

Some people would consider it a win, especially with how powerful and wealthy the Todoroki name was. However, the circumstances that had led to your situation were less than ideal.

"I'm so glad you decided to match with me, my love," Shoto said, sending a small smile your way.

"You burned all my other clothes," you responded dryly, swatting his hand from your thigh.

The asshole pretended like he didn't even hear you. "It's good for us to present a united front against my family. This might come as a surprise but we aren't exactly a regular family."

You glanced out of the blacked out windows of the chauffer driven car you were in to the convoy that followed in front and behind, filled with armed guards. "You don't say."

Shoto sighed morosely. "It's shocking, I know. I must warn you that some of my family aren't very, how would you say, mentally stable."

"...is that so?" you asked the man who decided he was in love with you as he was tied up in your basement. Honestly, the whole thing was starting to sound like some big, elaborate prank he was pulling. But no, Shoto began his spiel, completely oblivious to your sarcasm.

"Take my eldest brother for example," he began. "We aren't supposed to talk about him, actually. It's...really been very difficult for my family..."

"Oh...did something happen to him?" You asked, feeling kind of bad.

"Hmm? No, we just can't reveal too much information so it won't be used against him in court." Shoto gave you a blank look. "He burnt down a school district. It's been really hard for my family to keep him out of prison so he's on house arrest now."

...of course he was.

The rest of the drive was filled with stories of Shoto's siblings and mother. You weren't sure if you wanted to meet actually them or if you wanted to throw yourself out of the car, but before you could make a decision, the car arrived in front of a large compound. You gaped in awe as the gates swung open to reveal a mansion and grounds even grander than Shoto's.

There was a butler who welcomed you to the mansion, while his eyes tried to communicate with you to run. Now that was a tempting idea. But there was no backing out now. Plus, Shoto had gotten used to your escape attempts and his hand was like a shackle on your wrist. You gazed around the interior of the mansion, your hands itching to pinch some of the smaller but still expensive looking art pieces.

"You're here!" A cheery voice made you turn towards the large grandiose staircase where a beautiful woman stood. She had long white hair, tipped with red, similar to Shoto's half. Must be Fuyumi then, the only 'normal' one in the family according to Shoto.

You smile thinly as she wraps you in a hug. "It's so to finally meet you!" she exclaimed. "Everyone is in the dining room already!"

Shoto snatched you back into his arms before Fuyumi could drag you away but she just chuckled and rolled her eyes at you. "Shoto was always so possessive with his things."

Things? Your smile grew a bit more strained but neither of them seemed to notice or care. The dining room was just as opulent as the rest of the house but you barely got to appreciate it, instead, all you took notice of was the mix of bright blue and grey eyes staring at you.

"This is Y/N. Don't be weird," Shoto introduced, oh so eloquently. The heads of the table were occupied by a giant red haired man and a tiny woman with silver hair flowing down her back. Two young men sat opposite each other and Fuyumi slipped into a chair, patting the seat next to her for you. Shoto ignored her and pulled you to sit next to him.

You nodded at them awkwardly. "Hello. Nice to meet you."

"You're kind of hot." A redhead with an ankle monitor and a disturbingly predatory grin piped up. "Like in a trapped mouse kind of way. I like it."

"Hush, Touya," the older woman said sternly. "He didn't mean that, dear."

"Nah, he has a point." The other young man, Natsuo probably, smiled at you, looking at you slowly from top to bottom. "There's something appealing there."

"I said don't be weird. Keep it in your fucking pants." Shoto glared at the both of them and if it were anyone else, you might have felt worried for them, however, the atmosphere in the room never changed.

"That's enough, all of you." The large man said gruffly. He must be Enji, the generally disliked patriarch. "Y/N, was it? Welcome."

"I'm sure Shoto has told you all about us. But we barely know anything about you, my dear," Rei said kindly. "How did you and our Shoto meet?"

"Oh, um-" You glanced around the room, wide eyed, only to be met with curious gazes from the family. Panicked, you shrank back into your seat. "We- uh, we met by chance, you know, it was like sooo romantic, haha. It was a park-yeah...".

Touya rolled his eyes and Natsuo scoffed into his wine glass. Enji silently raised an eyebrow. "Well, that sounds...nice," Fuyumi laughed awkwardly. "Very romantic..."

Shoto cleared his throat. "Y/N tried to kidnap me the first time that we met."

It was as if the tension just bled out of the room. Rei gasped in delight and smiled at Enji. "Oh, it reminds me of how me met! You remember when I tried to kill you?" He gave his wife a small, fond smile and nodded.

"Oh now, I'm definitely interested," Touya purred. "Looks like we have a little psychopath on out hands."

"You'll fit right in then, pretty," Natsuo added with a laugh. "We're all some kind of fucked up."

"I knew it!" Fuyumi exclaimed, eyes sparkling. "The moment I saw you, I knew you were special!"

Shoto leaned in, whispering, "I think they like you. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing."

Oh you knew what it was. As excited chatter from the Todoroki family began to fill the room, you knew that you had just gotten yourself entangled with one of the most dangerous groups of people in the world.

And that was a very bad thing indeed.

A/N: If you enjoyed this, please leave a like, comment and reblog! I need to sleep and get my shit together lol so this might not be my best work. Thanks for your support either way!

@sky2lar @justabratsworld

[heartfullofleeches]

Turns out I'm doing both - Yan hellhound + Warden Reader

-

You've always had a soft spot for strays. When it turns out the wild dog you've been leaving scraps for is in actuality a massive, three headed monstrosity from hell little changes. Each head as a mind of its own, and though their personalities differ one factor that carries in them all is their fidelity to you. It took countless months and heavy trial, but eventually you were able to train the demon well enough to work at your side in the prison. No soul would ever be safe from the tempered glares of your protector which were death sentences of their own only without the senseless bloodshed. Long as thighs stayed that way you didn't mind their playfulness less they start to fuss during important business.

Your pet follows you around like a sweet puppy - alway chasing your heels or maybe trying to squeeze its giant body beneath your desk to be close to you at all times. It towers over you and your guards, striking the toughest inmates to submission. It snarls and hisses - ready to bite limbs anscheads off in a flash yet ceases all activity with a single tug on its collar or mere whisper of its name. You may let it get away with scaring people too much, but it's hard to punish your gentle beast when they're just that in every way except when it decides to show its true colors-

Warden Darling pretty much sees the hound as am extension of themself/a tool to improve their work flow, but that doesn't mean they don't care for them. The mental imagine of warden darling doing paperwork while using this behemoth as a footstool/seat is sending me

-

[Warden Darling sits in the hounds lap during an inspection, using the beast as a portable chair around the jail. Warden darling pets two of its heads as the third nuzzles their cheek - leash tight around their wrist.]

Warden Darling: good pups~

Yan Guards, on the verge of tears: It hurts seeing others living your dreams :(

-

Warden Darling: Sit.

[Reader pets the hound as it kneels, wagging its tail - looking off to the side puzzled]

Warden Darling: I wasn't speaking to you

Yan Inmate: I know....Let me dream for a little longer before you kick me while I'm down

-

Warden Darling: I need a shower.... I believe its time for you to have a bath as well..

[The hound lifts reader up and licks at their cheek as it carries them off to the showers. A group of guards and inmates watch on from the sidelines - huddling close as the pair walk off with the hound pawing at reader's clothing]

Yan guard: We can't let that fucker get away with this!

[cepheustarot]

What new phase are you entering into?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur. You build your own life and destiny.

Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: Here you begin a new period in your life, changes are coming. Perhaps you are changing your place of residence, changing your job or field of activity, changing your place of study or specialty as well, but in any case, here I see that you will have a new team, a new social circle, new acquaintances. Or maybe you just take a vacation, start taking a break from the routine, go somewhere on a trip or vacation. I will assume that you are currently going through a difficult period in your life, which has physically and mentally exhausted you, so the next stage will be relatively calm for you, it will help you relax, it will be a kind of break. Because the next stage will help you feel happier, you will rejoice more often, relax, feel satisfied, there will be many pleasant moments, you will feel independent of finances, there will be a lot of fun and holidays around you, you will be satisfied with the current state of affairs. In general, this will be the most favorable period for you!

Pile 2: I dare to assume that the second pile was chosen by people who can behave coldly with people, in general you are seen as a detached person who is difficult to approach. Perhaps you are not very emotional, or you try not to show your emotions and because of this, people may think that you don't care about most things, you are indifferent to many things in life. It is also possible that you are too straightforward or speak out too harshly here in someone's address and people who do not know you well may take offense at you. In general, in the next stage of life there will be events that will change you and that will "teach" you not to be afraid to show your emotions, to open up to people. There may be an acquaintance with a person who will be very sympathetic to you and can become your partner, or it will be an acquaintance with a good friend with whom there will be a strong friendship. In any case, you will feel good with this person, you will feel comfortable, you will enjoy spending time with him, because next to him your mood rises and you really want to share everything with this person, in general it will be quite an emotional connection. It is also possible here that you will work with children with whom it is important to maintain an emotional connection, behave gently and this will also help you develop empathy. Of course, at first it will be hard and you will feel very uncomfortable, there will be a desire to retreat and close up more, but in any case it will be an experience for you, as you will get out of your habitual way.

Pile 3: As I see it, in your next period of life you will begin to close yourself in and distance yourself from people, stay in touch less, but this is because you have a change of priorities and you will devote more time to your self-development or gaining knowledge, preparing for studying or you will dive into work. Perhaps someone here will soon start important exams and therefore you are starting to prepare hard for them, or you are working hard to reach a career age, perhaps some of you want to start your own business, something like that. And in general, this stage will be difficult for you, it will be very exhausting, you will be nervous a lot, but I see you are confident here to achieve your goal, so keep your initial attitude, your motivation and, of course, do not forget to give yourself a rest. You will definitely succeed!

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback <3

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

there is no wrong answer here. fanfic writing is not and should never be a competition. you are not less of a writer if you don’t have the time or the energy to write because life has been keeping you busy or things have been a little tough lately. thinking about writing or brainstorming ideas or noting down the scene you want to write is already a part of productivity and you’re getting there. you don’t have to actively write all the time if it’s exhausting to you. you’re still just as valid and I appreciate you very much.

another reminder: your mental health should always be the priority.

[tonyspank]

SHE

Jenna Ortega x G!P Reader

New York was a city full of opportunity and possibilities. It was a place where people could come to pursue their dreams and make their mark in the world. It was vibrant and alive, and it was a place that gave people hope. You and your best friend Ross decide to move to the big apple, and you meet a woman who drastically changes your life.  That woman being Jenna Ortega.

This oneshot includes mature themes such as foul language, sexual activity, acts of violence and etc.

Jenna and any other celebrities in this book are not famous unless said otherwise.

This is also very rushed, I wanted to get something out, so I’ll be revising it soon. Also this is inspired by that one Netflix show, I can’t say which one because then it’ll spoil a lot of stuff.

WORDS; 8.6K

"Bro. Please, just please go to the store." The blonde-haired boy basically pleads from the couch. You throw your head back dragging your feet against the white tile floor that leads to the kitchen. You take a deep breath and grab your keys off the kitchen table. You look back with a sigh and say, "Alright, I'll go," before heading out the door.

You walk to your car, still not entirely sure why you agreed to go. You get in, start the engine, and drive off toward the store. You live in the less busy part of New York, free from the loud noises of cars honking and random arguments of people on the street.

Ross Lynch, your best friend who just got accepted to his dream job of working at a tech company, just moved into a new apartment with you. With Ross being at work and you decorating and buying appliances, you didn't have time to go grocery shopping.

The two of you have been ordering takeout every day for the past two weeks. Ross's complaining and along with your stomach eventually convinces you not to avoid the task any longer. Now at the supermarket, you grab a cart and browse the shelves for the items you need. It was late, so the store was nearly empty.

At least that's what you thought. Your head turns toward the sudden voice, "Excuse me." The brunette girl smiles, and you find yourself mesmerized by her beauty. Her dark hair was tied into a messy bun, and her bangs fell into her face.

She reaches up and brushes them away, revealing her deep brown eyes. And also showcases the large amount of freckles that danced across her face, she was breathtakingly beautiful. You find yourself staring, unable to look away.

"I uh, I can't find a worker and I also can't reach this stupid bag of popcorn. Could you help me?" Your heart skips a beat as she speaks to you, her voice as sweet as honey. You can feel yourself blushing before you dumbly nod in response. She smiles and lets out a small laugh before thanking you. You feel a warmth in your chest as you approach the aisle she was in. She points to the white bag of popcorn and you reach it with ease.

"Here you go." She takes the popcorn and looks at you with a grateful smile. "Thank you so much." You nod, "Happy to help." She turns to leave but you stop her. "If you need anything else you know where to find me."

She furrows her eyebrows and you mentally slap yourself for being unable to talk to pretty girls. Her head tilts slightly and you swear your heart rate just increased. "You're going to be in the same aisle... until I leave?"

She gives you an alluring smirk and you feel yourself blushing. Your hands sweat as you mumble a response, barely able to believe this is happening. "Uh? No, but maybe I could just join you until you leave. You know, just in case you need anything else."

You watch her eyes glance around your face, almost as if she's having a mental battle with herself. She breaks her gaze and smiles. "Sure, why not? I'd like that." She replies, her voice a low whisper. You take a deep breath, feeling a wave of relief wash over you as you follow her.

"Wait. I have to grab my cart really quick." She hums in acknowledgment and waits outside of your aisle while you quickly retrieve your cart. "I'm Y/N by the way." You introduce yourself and your face feels like it's on fire. She smiles in response, "Jenna."

"Bread and peanut butter. Not a jelly kind of person?" She says, her eyes scanning the few items in your cart. "I actually like to make my own jelly." You admit proudly.

She raises her eyebrows in surprise. "That's a cool idea. I've never thought of that. Is it difficult to make?"

"No, not at all," you reply. "It's actually quite simple. You just need a few ingredients and a bit of time." You smile and start walking toward the dairy aisle. She glances at you, her curiosity piqued. You start to explain the process in more detail, pointing out what ingredients you need and how to put them together.

"Hm... I might give it a try." You encourage her to do so, assuring her that it is easy and the results will be worth it. She grabs a bottle of sour cream, holding it in her right hand as she holds the bag of popcorn under her shoulder. "Are you making something?" You ask, curious at the different items in her hands.

She nods with a smile and replies, "I'm going to make cheesecake. I've been craving it for the past week."

You grab a few random stuff off the shelf, tossing it in your cart just so Ross can't say you didn't shop. Jenna's a few steps ahead of you, not noticing you've stopped. You quickly jog back up to her, sending her a smile. She smiles back, unaware of the random shopping you had done. "I love cheesecake,—"

"—It's a superior dessert." Jenna laughed. "I'm glad you're so passionate about it." She started walking again, this time more slowly, and you followed her. "Why are you shopping so late? If you don't mind me asking that is." Jenna asks, brushing her bangs out of her view of sight again.

You tap the handle of the cart, puckering out your lips. "Uhhh, I actually just moved here and I've been avoiding the task of going grocery shopping. My roommate— Ross, had to beg me to go." Jenna's eyes scan the shelves, and then they meet yours again with a small laugh falling from her lips. "Where did you move from?"

"Los Angeles." You inform her. She gasps in surprise. "Wow, that's a big change! I'm sure it's been a bit of an adjustment." She smiles. "Well, at least you have Ross to help you get accustomed."

You shrug your shoulders turning left at the end of the aisle. "Yeah, I guess. He's been busy though, with a new job and all. Which is the reason we moved." She nods in understanding before saying, "Well, it's still good to have a friend. Especially when you're in a new environment." You smile in agreement and the conversation drifts to other topics.

"Wait? What? You met Obama and got a photo of him?" Jenna asks in disbelief. You laugh as you nod your head and tell her the story of how you met the former president. Jenna shakes her head in disbelief, still astounded by the story. "Here look," you pull out your phone, scrolling a bit before showing it to her.

"Holy shit." She glances at you and then back at your phone. "You were telling the truth. How on earth did you manage to meet him?" You smile, "A legend never tells." She shakes her head in even more disbelief. "Well, you certainly have some impressive secrets." You begin unloading your cart which was filled with a bunch of random items.

You had a whole pineapple, a loaf of brioche bread, butter, peanut butter, a bottle of ketchup, a jar of pickles, and a bunch of other things. She looks at you curiously and asks, "What do you plan on making with all this?"

You pause, "I—" and you honestly cannot think of anything you could make with it. "I have no idea." She laughs and says, "Ross is going to kill you." You wave her off while the cashier finishes ringing up your items. "He'll live." The cashier begins typing on the screen before finishing bagging up your last item, the price showing on the mini screen in front of you.

"Off of that food? I don't think so," Jenna jokes. You laugh pulling out your card and swiping it. The cashier hands you your receipt and you thank him before you turn to Jenna. "You're funny." Jenna grins and places her two items on the belt. "I know, I should become a comedian."

You switch the bags to one hand. "I'd pay for every stand-up." Jenna laughs and slightly pouts her lips. "Aw, my number one supporter." She takes her bag from the cashier and you begin walking out of the store together. "Of course. You're going to see me in the crowd with a t-shirt with your face on it."

Jenna laughs and you start to smile wider at the sound. "I'd call security right away", she says in a jokingly serious tone. You smile continuing to walk to the girl's car. Once you arrive your smile fades.

Jenna unlocks her truck placing the singular bag down, turning to you. She gives you a tight-lipped smile and looks into your eyes. "Take care of yourself," she says. "It was nice meeting you."

You nod in response, not able to find the words to thank her. She gives you one last smile before getting into her car and starting the engine. You stand there for a few moments, watching her drive away until she disappears from sight.

You turn and walk toward your car, feeling grateful for the moment you shared with her. You take a deep breath and let out a sigh, feeling a wave of warmth wash over you. "I should've got her number." You mumble to yourself.

You shake your head putting your bags in the passage seat and get into your car before starting the engine and driving away. When you arrive at the parking garage, you spot an empty spot and pull in.

You sigh in relief as you turn off the engine and get out of the car. You take a moment to stretch before heading inside. Humming a random song, you make your way to the elevator. A person beats you to it and you furrow your eyebrows. She looked so familiar—wait. It was Jenna.

You speed up your movements to the elevator arriving faster. "Jenna?" She jumps at the sound of your voice, a very confused look on her face. "I live here as well," you say, hoping to help her relax. She looks around, realizing the situation and a small laugh escapes her lips. "Oh wow. I didn't expect that."

"Me either," the elevator dings, the doors opening soon after. You two step inside and Jenna reaches for the button. "Could you press eight—" Before you could finish your sentence another ding is heard. She had already pressed the button. Your mouth forms an "o" in surprise. "I guess we live on the same floor."

She smiles slightly before chuckling, "This is starting to scare me." You smile back, "Yeah, it's like fate brought us together." She nods, stepping out of the elevator as the doors open. "See you around," she says. You both begin to walk in the same direction, causing even more confusion. If that was possible.

She stops, turning to you with a puzzled look. "I think we're going the same way," she says. You both share a smile before continuing on your way.

Shit, you two were next-door neighbors.

You felt embarrassed that you didn't know earlier, but you were also glad that you were neighbors. You figured it would make things easier since you'd be seeing each other again. "Shit, how didn't I connect the dots?" Jenna mutters. "Well, at least we know now." You say and smile back in understanding.

Jenna smiled back. "Yeah, now it all makes sense. Tell Ross that he's in my prayers." She jokes. You both laughed, and the awkwardness between you melted away. You both said your goodbyes, and Jenna promised to keep in touch and you both went back to your respective apartments.

As you place the bags down in the apartment, Ross makes his way to the kitchen. "Took you long enough." He mumbles under his breath, and you roll your eyes. "What the—" He searches the bags, a strong furrow in his brows. "Y/N? What the hell is all of this?"

You smile sheepishly, "I got distracted." Your mind begins to flood with images of your brunette neighbor that you'd introduced yourself to at the supermarket.

"I'll just DoorDash groceries." He sighs out, turning to walk to the living room. "You should've done that in the first place!" You yell out after him.

"THE APP IS DOWN!" He shouts back, a loud groan following after.

It's the next morning and you're sitting at the kitchen island, Ross walks through the door, multiple bags in his hands. You raise your head from your phone, giving Ross a confused look.

He places the bags on top of the counter and you can feel the tension in the room, and you can see the light irritation on his face.

"Woah, Mr. Grumpypants. I told you I was going to get the groceries today." Ross sends you a look, taking a few items out of the plastic bags. "Really?" He tilts his head and you nod, "Because last time you said you would and ended up getting distracted."

You frown at the tone of his voice, "Dude. I'm sorry, I was going to go once you went to work."

Ross apologizes letting out a loud sigh, he shakes his head waving you off with his free hand. "Shit, sorry. I've just been stressed lately."

You mumble an, "It's okay. I understand." Before getting up and helping him put away the groceries.

Ross didn't know it but the day you moved into your new apartment you had been applying for jobs. Ross was making more than enough to cover for your new apartment, but you didn't want to live off of your best friend.

Today you had three interviews lined up, one for a bookstore, one for a restaurant and one for a local flower shop. You were getting very desperate, the pays weren't a lot but it would have to do until you found a full-time position.

You hadn't seen your neighbor. Well, you have seen her. You were walking around the neighborhood and saw Jenna pulling up, she rolled down the window and say her hello's before entering the parking garage.

Then you had seen her again, she exiting her apartment as you were entering yours. She greeted you with a squeeze on your arm before going about her day. Every time you'd see Jenna her hellos would get more touchier, but never taking it too far.

You were exhausted and your mind was on a spiral. Having done three interviews back to back, and the horrible traffic of New York had made you feel like you were going to collapse at your door.

You fumble with your keys, attempting to unlock your door, but they drop from your hands. "C'mon, man." You mumble to yourself letting out a dramatic sigh as you reach for your keys.

You didn't even notice the brunette that passed you, taking out her own pair of keys until you heard them jingle. You look to your left seeing Jenna already looking your way, a playful smile on her face.

"You look nice. Had a date?" You give a small smile shaking your head. Jenna's eyes roam your face taking in all of your features, you were so damn attractive. From your eyebrows to your eye, to your nose and even your alluring lips.

But while she shamelessly checked you out she noticed the tired look in your y/e/c eyes, her lip slightly turning downwards. "Oh, date went bad?"

Inhaling a breath you shake your head again, "No, interview actually." Jenna steps away from her door, coming closer to you. "You look stressed." Her hand rests on your forearm, and you glance down at her touch before meeting her dark and brown sincere eyes.

"I made a cheesecake, come try it." Cheesecake? You really did love cheesecake. You remember back in sixth grade your entire social media account was based on your love for cheesecake.

It had become one of your favorite desserts after your mom replaced it for a birthday cake.

"Uh," You hesitate. You didn't wanna intrude her personal space. But god did that cheesecake sound tempting. "Sure."

Jenna flashes a smile at you, giving your forearm a slight squeeze. You pocket your keys following behind Jenna who holds the door open for you, "Don't mind the mess." She mutters, picking up the empty water bottle off of her kitchen island and throwing it in the trash.

Her apartment was the same size as yours, the decorations modern and bright, white everywhere. There were white walls with sleek and elegant furniture, natural lighting shining through as her white curtains are pulled apart. "Your place is nice."

"Thank you," You sit down on a white bar stool, and she reaches into her fridge pulling out the cheesecake. You swear your mouth began watering at the sight.

"That looks so delicious." She grins at your reaction scooting the dish closer to you. You watch as she pulls a plate and fork, platting your slice of cheesecake.

"Enjoy," She says, sitting down next to you and resting her head in her hand. You glance at her with a smile before picking up the fork and taking a decent bite of the New York-style slice of dessert.

Her eyes watch you intensely, searching for your reaction. Swallowing the piece of cheesecake you nod, twisting your bar stool to face Jenna completely. "Can I keep the whole cake?" You joke Jenna's face breaks out in a smile and she leans into you, holding your bicep.

"Only if you give me a jar of your jelly." You pursed your lips, pretending to think. "Okay fine, deal." You say, taking another bite of your food and she lets go of you.

"Is it not tight?" Jenna asks, your forehead creases in confusion from the lack of context. Her mouth twitches upward as she gestures to your tie.

"Your tie. Is it not tight?" You glance at the black tie around your neck, shrugging. It suddenly felt tighter than before, "Now that you're saying something, maybe a bit."

You reach for your tie but her own hands beat you, loosening it up. "Better?" She asks, her eyes glancing around your face. Staring a bit too long at your lips, you slowly nod sparing a glance at her pink lips. "Mhm," you hum quickly looking away. Her hands slip away, but her gaze remains. You take a deep breath, but your heart is still racing.

"So, what's the story? Why do you love cheesecake so much?" You breathe out a laugh, "Can people just not like cheesecake anymore?" She puckers her lips, tilting her head. Cute.

"Yeah, but not as much as you do." You try to fight back a smile but fail miserably, "Well, it was my fourteenth birthday... and my mom was working overtime, so she had to get my birthday cake late." You glance at Jenna who nods, paying attention to every word you're saying.

"And the store didn't have any left, so she ended up settling with a cheesecake which I absolutely devoured. Ate the entire thing by myself and then proceeded to lie about it and say I dropped it on the floor and had to throw it out." Jenna laughs, holding a hand over her mouth attempting to silence her laugh. "Did she know you were lying?"

"Yes." You simply say, turning back to finish your slice of cheesecake, Jenna begins to talk about another topic, and you find yourself freely discussing and sharing your thoughts without hesitation. It felt like you had known her for years.

You couldn't help but smile as you thought about how easy it was to talk to her. You felt a connection with her that you had never experienced before. You knew that she was someone special and that you wanted to get to know her better.

You could tell she felt the same way, and you were eager to see where the friendship would go. "My friends are going out to this club tonight, do you wanna join?" Jenna asks out of the blue, Jenna smiled, waiting for your response. You were taken aback by the invitation, but excited at the same time. You hesitated for a moment before saying, "Uh, sure."

Jenna's face lit up with a smile and she said, "Great! Let's meet up at 8 o'clock and go together." You agreed and the two of you made plans to meet up later that night, ready to see what the night would bring. When 8 o'clock came around, Jenna was already outside your door waiting for you. She had a big grin on her face, clearly excited for the night ahead.

You, on the other hand, had your jaw dropped to the floor at her beauty, though it already established she was gorgeous when you first saw her. You managed to regain your composure and walked out the door, flashing her a big smile. She smiled back, and you could feel your heart racing as she locked arms with you, making your way downstairs and into her car. You drove to the club, talking and laughing the whole way. When you arrived, you couldn't help but feel like you were walking on air.

You felt like you were in a dream as she opened the door of the club and you stepped inside. You looked around, amazed at the beauty of the place and the vibrant atmosphere. The night had only just begun, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and anticipation. "Jenna!" A man's voice calls.

You both look over and see a friend of Jenna's waving them over. As they make their way to the table, Jenna turns to you and smiles. "Ready to have some fun tonight?" She asks.

You nod, feeling the energy of the club around you. Taking her hand, you walk to the table, ready to make the most of your night. "Hey, everyone! This is Y/N, we're neighbors." Jenna introduces you, and you wave timidly.

Everyone smiles and welcomes you, "Hey, I'm Mason." A handsome brown-skinned man says to you, "This is Mikey," the woman waves at you shyly, a small smile on her lips. "Jack," he nods his head a you smiling. "And Melissa." She waves at you with two hands, muttering, "Hello."

You take a seat next to Jenna and the group starts talking, laughing and joking. You smile, feeling welcomed and accepted. You feel a sense of belonging like you have always been part of the group. You relax and enjoy the conversation, talking about random things.

The conversation drifts to more serious topics and everyone shares their unique perspectives. You feel energized by the exchange of ideas and the group's willingness to listen and learn from each other. This is the kind of environment you want to be in.

"I'm going to get us some drinks," Melissa says, standing up. Everyone eagerly agrees. Melissa goes to the bar and Mason follows behind her to help. "So, Y/N." You hum in response, turning your head to Jack. Jack continues, "What do you think of everyone so far?" You smile, "Everyone's really nice. I'm glad I came," you reply. "Me too," Jack says. "I'm sure we'll have a great time tonight."

Jenna squeezes your thigh and your eyes nearly bulge out of your head. You laugh nervously and glance at Jack, who seems oblivious to Jenna's gesture. She grins and removes her hand, the corner of her mouth turned up in amusement. You take a deep breath and turn back to Jack, trying to focus on the conversation.

"We got the drinks!" Melissa and Mason shout, raising the drinks in their hands. Everyone turns to the two, cheering. You glance at Jenna, who is smiling and clapping along with everyone. You smile back at her and turn back to Jack, who furrows his eyebrows when he's not handed a drink.

"No can do Jack, you're too young." Mason says, wiggling his finger in a 'no' motion. Jack scowls and crosses his arms over his chest. "But Jenna has one more year to go!" Jenna laughs sipping on her drink. "Yeah, but she gives off Wednesday Addams vibes and I don't wanna end up dying," Mason says, smiling at Jack.

Jack sighs and shakes his head. "Fine, I guess I'll just have to wait 'til I'm older." He says, disappointed. Mason puts an arm around Jack's shoulder and they all laugh. The night goes on and everyone is enjoying themselves, you especially. Their group felt like a big dysfunctional, but happy family.

Before the night was over, you excused yourself to get another drink. You head to the bar and order your drink. As you wait, you scroll through your phone, reading emails to see if anyone has emailed you back about a job.

You sigh and put your phone away. "Ex didn't text back?" A voice says, catching you off guard. You turn around and are met with green eyes, "Job didn't text back, I've been looking for quite a bit." You say, flustered at the beauty of the woman in front of you.

She laughs, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Don't give up too soon, you're in New York! There are opportunities everywhere." She takes a step closer, her hand outstretched. "I'm Ana, by the way. What's your name?" You take her hand and smile, "Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N."

She shakes your hand firmly. "Relax. This isn't a job interview, no need for the full name." She lets out a thunderous laugh, and you can't help but smile at the sound. "Let's go," she says. "I'll show you the city." You hesitate, glancing over at Jenna who's laughing with her friends.

You take one last look at Jenna and then nod at Ana. She smiles and takes your hand and leads you forward, the bright lights and bustling streets of New York ahead of you. You feel a thrill of excitement as you step away from the shelter of the alley and into the vibrant city. Together, you and Ana start to explore all that New York has to offer.

A large slice of pizza is in your hand and you and Ana walk down the streets of New York, asking questions about each other. "Ana de Armas? That's a pretty fancy name," Ana smiled. "It's Spanish," Ana said. "My family is from Cuba. I'm actually named after my mother." You hum, nodding your head before taking a bite out of your pizza.

Ana grins. "It's nice to have something that connects me to my heritage." She takes a deep breath and looks around. "This city has a lot of history, doesn't it?" You look around with her, "Yeah... and a lot of interesting people."

She pauses and looks at you with a faint smile. "Are you trying to call me interesting Y/N?" You laugh and smile. "Yes, of course." She gives you a playful shove, and you both keep walking, admiring the city around you.

You talked about the sights and sounds of the city and shared stories from your past. You both felt a connection that was growing more and more with every step. She looked at you with a twinkle in her eye and said, "Maybe we should do this again sometime."

"Yeah." You sigh out, taking your hands out of your pocket. The two of you stared at each other in silence. You smiled, realizing that you were both thinking the same thing. You leaned in and kissed her, your hands landing on her waist as she wrapped her arms around your neck.

You both were lost in the moment, enjoying the kiss and the feeling of being together. You pulled away, still looking into each other's eyes, and smiled. There was no need for words; the moment said it all, but she spoke anyway.

"I don't want this night to end." You leaned in and kissed her forehead, taking a few moments to savor the moment. You grab her hand, intertwining your fingers, and say, "Let's go somewhere we can be together a little longer."

That's how you ended up in her bed, waking up in the morning to a phone call. You sit up tiredly, glancing at the unknown number before answering it. "Hello?" You rasp out, getting up from the bed completely. "Yes, is this Y/N speaking?"

"Yes, this is me," you reply, picking up your clothes from last night. "Hi! This is Zoe calling from Mooney's. I believe you applied for the bartending job here." "Yes, that's me," you say, feeling a bit embarrassed. You take a deep breath and try to sound confident. "Yes, I applied. What can I do for you?"

"Well, we looked over your resume and we think you're a good fit! Could you come in today for training or...?" "Yes, of course!" you reply. You quickly jot down the details of the training and hang up the phone, feeling a wave of relief and excitement. Fucking finally! You got a job.

The training wasn't as difficult as expected, pretty simple actually you just had to listen and follow instructions. Zoe leans against the bar. "Y/N Y/L/N," she begins, looking at you with a smile. You nodded in agreement before taking a sip of your water. Zoe continued, "See, that wasn't so bad."

You smiled and nodded again, relieved that the training wasn't as hard as you thought it would be. "Why the full name though?" Zoe chuckled and shrugged. "Just to make sure I have it right," she said. "No one wants to be mislabeled, right?"

You quickly tilt your head, shrugging. She laughs, "My full name is Zoë Isabella Kravitz, if it makes you feel any better." She gives you a wink before turning and heading back to the other side of the bar. You smile, "Much better." You take a sip of your drink and watch her as she moves away. You can't help but admire her confidence and easy grace.

You continue to observe her as she talks and laughs with the other patrons; she seems completely at ease and unbothered by the chaos of the night. She catches your eye and smiles at you before turning away. You smile back, putting back on your apron before helping her around the bar.

You pass her her drink and she thanks you with a wink. She takes it to the customers the old regulars, who welcome her with cheers and applause. She takes a seat and begins to talk and joke with them as if she had known them for years. You watch with admiration as she fits in so easily, making the customers feel at home. It's clear to you why they all love her.

Once the bar is closed you help clean up as well, hanging up your apron before taking a seat with a loud sigh. "Uh oh, that sounds like a first day and I'm already about to quit type of sigh." She jokes, hanging up her apron as well.

You laugh, shaking your head. "It was a long day, but I'm actually really glad I decided to take this job." She smiles, nodding in agreement. "Me too. It's been quite busy the past couple of weeks, it was nice to have a helping hand."

You both smile and the atmosphere suddenly lighter. You chat for a bit before saying goodbye and heading home, feeling a sense of satisfaction with your first day.

"There she is!" Jenna smiles, walking beside you to her own door. You smile at her, "Hey, Jenna." She smiles back, taking out her keys before speaking, "I haven't seen you since last night." You just disappeared. "I uh, had to do something," you reply. She shakes smiling, "Well, I'll talk to you later." She unlocks her door and waves goodbye before entering her home.

It's been months since that interaction, months since you've worked at the bar. Everything was falling into place. You helped Ross with rent, and you talked to Jenna daily, having your moments every now and then. You were on your way to surprise Jenna with a jaw of your homemade jam.

You knock on her door which she opens in a matter of seconds, only in a robe and slippers. "Oh? Is this a bad time? I can-" She smiles and steps aside. "No, come in. I just got out of the shower. I'm glad you're here."

She takes the jar from your hands and sets it on the counter. "This looks amazing. Thank you for thinking of me." She turns to you and hugs you. "It really means a lot to me that you'd do something like this for me." She pulls away and smiles.

"Yeah, of course. It's just a thank you for the cheesecake." She laughs. "You're too sweet. I appreciate it." She looks around the kitchen. "Here, let's try it together."

She sets two spoons on the counter and you open the jar, sitting down on the bar stool. You both take a spoonful of strawberry jam, staring at each other for a reaction. Her eyes widen, and she smiles. She takes another spoonful, and you do the same. You both savor the sweet flavor of the jam and the moment of connection.

She reaches out and takes your hand into hers. You can feel the warmth of her skin and the electricity of the moment. "How do you rate--" You're cut off by a pair of lips attaching to yours. She pulls away and looks into your eyes. You can feel your heart racing as you realize what just happened. She smiles and says, "That's how I rate it."

You bring her into another kiss, standing up from the bar stool as her hands get tangled in your hair. You break off the kiss and gaze at her in wonder. She smiles again and you can feel yourself falling for her. You move closer to her, your heart beating faster with anticipation as you bring her in for another kiss. She responds eagerly, her body melting into yours. The kiss deepens, and you know that you will never be the same.

Her hands move to your jacket, peeling it off of your body. She pulls you closer, her eyes never leaving yours as you move to the couch, your lips never breaking apart, you lower her onto the couch. You lightly brush your hands against her skin as you take in her beauty, and gosh, was it amazing.

Her eyes close as you move your lips to her neck, she lets out a soft moan and grips your shoulders. "Fuck, Y/N. I want you so bad." You smile as you feel her desire. You start to kiss her again, this time more passionately and with more intensity. You both forget everything else as you melt into each other.

"I want you too," you whisper back, sitting up to take off your shirt. She follows suit, eagerly taking off her robe and reaching for the zipper of your pants. You reach down and take off your pants, taking off your underwear as well.

She bites her lip as she leans forward and kisses you intensely, her hands exploring your body. You feel yourself growing at her touch, falling backwards as she straddles you. She smiles, her eyes filled with desire, and she takes your hand and guides you inside her.

You close your eyes as you feel her warmth envelop you. "I've been wanting you for so long," she sighs, moving her hips slowly. "Do you feel how wet I am?" You can feel her heat radiating through her, and the passion rising. You nod and pull her closer to you, letting your hands roam her body. Your lips meet in a passionate kiss.

You grip her tightly as you move in unison, her moans getting louder with each thrust. "Jenna." You moan, throwing your head back in pleasure. She cries out in pleasure her moments becoming faster and more needy, "Say my name again."

You whisper her name in her ear, she shudders and tightens her grip, her back arching as she cries out in pleasure. "I'm about to cum, shit..." She whines, gripping your bicep.

You bite your lip as you thrust one last time, feeling her body tense around you as the waves start to crash over her. She clings to you, her fingers digging into your skin as the pleasure washes over her. "Y/N!!!"

You groan, "Jenna. I'm about to cum." She bites her lip, "Cum inside me, c'mon baby fill me up." You let out a low moan as you release, feeling her walls contract around you. She wraps her arms around your neck, her lips meeting yours in a passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around her, holding her close as you both come down from the high.

"Round two?" She smiles, her eyes twinkling. She takes your hand and leads you to the bedroom. You both laugh, feeling the thrill of anticipation.

THREE MONTHS LATER

It was your birthday and Ross and Jenna decided to throw a party for you, a small one at least. Jack, Melissa, Mason, Mikey, and everyone came to celebrate. You had also invited Zoe, but she was running late as you anxiously bounced your leg on the couch.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and you sprang up to open the door. To your surprise, Zoe had finally arrived and was standing at the doorstep with a big smile on her face.

"Isabella!" You jokingly shout you've been teasing Zoe about her middle name for a while now. Zoe laughed and shook her head in mock exasperation. She hugged you and stepped into the house. "It's so good to see you. Happy birthday!" she said.

You smiled and thanked her, and as she walk beside you, placing her arm on your bicep.

Ross looked over at Jenna who watched the situation with a blank face. "Who is that?" he asks, approaching Jenna, watching the scene in front of him. "Her co-worker." She answers, her eyes never leaving the two of you. Ross furrows his eyebrows, confused. "Why would she invite her co-worker to a birthday party?"

"I don't know." Jenna harshly says, jealously burning throughout her body. Ross looks back and forth between Jenna and the situation. "I mean she is cute." He says, shrugging as he takes another sip of his drink. Jenna rolls her eyes and looks at Ross. "Want me to ask if she's interested in idiot for you?" He lets out a laugh, shaking his head.

"I think I already know the answer because she's definitely interested in your girlfriend." Jenna scoffs in response, "It's not mutual."

"I never said it was." Jenna looks away, her expression unreadable. "Or maybe it is... a bit." Ross raises an eyebrow as Jenna continues, "I think Y/N's not fully... satisfied with our relationship."

Ross thinks for a bit before realizing where this is going. "Ugh, no Jenna. I do not wanna have this convo with you." Jenna grunts in frustration. "Too bad you are."

"No, the hell I'm not." He says before walking away. Jenna follows Ross, her voice rising in volume. "Ross, I'm trying to talk to you about something important." Ross lets out a dramatic groan, "I don't wanna talk to you about how you're not fucking my best friend right."

Jenna stops in her tracks, "Fine." Ross thanks her gratefully, before leaving to retrieve your birthday gift. Jenna does the same, leaving your apartment to go to hers and bring you the cheesecake she had made. When she returns she sees you hugging Zoe tightly before pulling away, a silver necklace in your hands. Jenna quickly walks away, upset and sad.

"You got her a cheesecake for her birthday? Really?" Ross says from behind her. "Yes." She replies blankly with an eye roll. Ross looks over to you, watching Zoe put the necklace around your neck. He then glances back at Jenna, sighing. "Don't worry, she doesn't even like wearing jewelry."

Jenna laughed, shaking her head. "At least I know what she likes." Ross smiled and the three of them shared a moment of understanding. Jenna smiled at Ross before turning back to you. She began walking over proudly, showcasing the cheesecake to you.

It read "Happy Birthday" with a red heart on it. "Aww, thank you, love." You smile, giving Jenna a quick peck. Jenna blushes, looking away bashfully. Ross chuckles, happy for the two of you as you all miss the frown on Zoe's lips. Zoe quickly looks away, pretending to be busy with her phone. Jenna notices and her smile widens.

It's been two more months since your birthday. Your life has been going okay. You're still working at the bar to help Ross and you're still dating Jenna, but you're so busy you barely get to see her. You miss her a lot and you want to make more time for her, but it feels like you're stuck in a rut. You've been thinking about making a change, but you don't know where to start. You sigh out, unlocking Jenna's front door and greeting her.

She quickly gets up from the couch, arms crossed. As you lean in for a kiss, she leans back. She looks away, and you can feel the distance between you. You take a deep breath, "What's wrong?" Her jaw clenches, "Where were you?"

You avoid her gaze and reply, "I was at work." She looks away again and shakes her head. "I don't believe you", she says. "Well, that's where I was!" She looks at you skeptically, "I don't believe you. You've been avoiding me for weeks."

You take a deep breath. You were so tired and you didn't wanna do this right now. "I've been working, Jen. You know this? I was doing overtime so Ross could have some days off."

She scoffs, uncrossing her arms. "Do you think I'm stupid?" You look away, not sure what to say. You don't want to argue, and you're telling the truth! "No."

"Then why the hell are you lying to me?" You take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "I'm not lying," you insist. "I'm honestly telling you the truth! I was WORKING." You say, raising your voice. She looks at you incredulously. "You expect me to believe that?" she says, shaking her head.

"Yes? It's the truth."

She shoves you, "Fucking liar!" You barely move at the shove.

"It IS the truth!" You reply angrily. She looks away, her face filled with anger and disbelief. "I don't believe you," she repeats. You grit your teeth, but take a deep breath. You know she won't believe anything you say, so you don't bother trying to defend yourself. "Okay, then, I'm done."

"Oh? You're done with me?" You sigh, running a hand down your face. "I meant with this," you motion with your hands. "I'm done with the argument. Or! Maybe I should be done with you. Maybe I'll be happier."

She doesn't say anything, and the two of you stand there in silence. After a few moments, you turn away and walk off without another word.

"That's all you remember?" The cop asks, writing on a notepad. You nod, sniffling. "Yeah, that's all I remember until I woke up." The cop finishes writing and looks up at you. "Are you okay to tell us more?"

You nod immediately, "I can tell you the rest." You take a deep breath and start speaking again. "The rest was fuzzy, blurry, and worrying. I wasn't scared," You shake your head, staring at the table for a second before locking eyes with the cop in front of you.

"I was worried. I wanted to know why I couldn't remember anything. When I woke up there was a bright light and glass surrounding me. I remember thinking... what happened? Where was I? Why wasI here?"

You sit up, breathing heavily. Glass, four walls, just pure glass. What the fuck was going on? You lift your hand to the back of your head and feel a bump. You slowly stand up and make your way to the glass wall, pressing your hands against it. You look around the room, searching for an exit.

There was a door. Locked. A small department to pass things through. Locked as well. You search for any other possible way out, but to no avail. Frustrated, you slam your fist against the wall. You were trapped. Suddenly, you hear a creaking sound of a door opening, you stare into the dark shadows, and suddenly someone appears from it.

"Jenna?" You whisper, tears beginning to form in your eyes. She steps forward and the look on her face, is terrifying. She wasn't going to let you out. She takes a step closer and you take a step back. You can see the determination in her eyes. She won't let you go.

She places a hand on the glass wall. "Don't be scared, Y/N." You take a deep breath and try to remain calm. You can see her eyes soften, but you know she still won't let you go. You press your hand against the glass, knowing you won't be able to get out.

"Please... please let me out, Jen." Jen slowly shook her head and said, "I can't, Y/N. I'm sorry." She looked away, letting out a sigh. "It's just... I do so much for you... it hurt to hear you say those words to me." You look away, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I was angry Jenna! I didn't mean it."

Jenna removes her hands from the glass, "You're just saying that. You don't care about me the way I care about you." You shake your head, "YOU HIT ME JENNA! AND—AND THEN YOU TRAP ME IN A CAGE? SOMEONE WHO CARES WOULDN'T DO THIS." Jenna looks away, silent. You take a deep breath and turn around, running a hand through your hair.

"Y/N. Y/N!" She shouts at you, and you turn around pressing your hand on the glass. Her brown doe eyes stare at you, taking in every detail of your face. "I love you." She presses her hand against the glass, mimicking your own. "And loving someone means you'll do anything for them."

You stare at her, unsure of where she's going with this. "Everything good that's been happening is because of me, Y/N." You shake your head, "What?"

"Ross getting his dream job, that was me playing with a few strings. You moving next to me, that was me as well. You getting that stupid fucking job, that was me as well! There have been things that I've done that I held out from you. Like killing Ana... she was going to ruin us, Y/N. I had to do it for us. We can be together now, without any worries."

Your eyes widen at the girl in front of you. Is that why Ana never reached out to you? Because she was dead? You take a step back in shock, not able to believe what you were hearing. You felt the tears come to your eyes as you take in the full situation. You were speechless. "Say something!" Jenna shouts, startling you out of your trance.

"Where—where's Zoe?" You whisper. Did she kill her too? Jenna's face falls at your words, removing her hand from the glass a second time. "Dead."

You shake your head in disbelief and your vision blurs as tears stream down your face. You sink to the ground, feeling a crushing wave of grief wash over you. You feel numb, unable to process the news. You try to take a deep breath, but it catches in your throat. You feel a sudden emptiness in your chest and a sinking feeling in your stomach. You slump against the wall, trying to make sense of what you just heard. "You're sick, Jenna! You're a fucking murderer!"

Your mind starts to think of the worst, "Are you going to hurt me? Oh my god, fuck!" Jenna rushes over to you, crouching to be eye-to-eye with you. "I'd never hurt you, Y/N." She presses both of her hands against the glass, watching as you look at her in horror.

She stares at you a bit before getting up and leaving, noticing this you stand back up. "JENNA! WAIT!" But she doesn't stop.

She returns the next morning with breakfast. You apologize for your behavior the night before and thank her for breakfast. She smiles and tells you that it's all right.

You had some time to think, to calm down, and to take everything in. Your girlfriend was kidnapping you, and she was doing it out of fear that you were going to leave her. If you want to escape this you know you have to tell her what she wants to hear.

That you forgive and you understand completely on why she was doing all of this.

You take a bite of your bagel and Jenna watches you, a small smile on her face as she sits in front of the cage eating her sandwich.

You look up and meet her gaze, offering a kind smile. "I used to eat bagels every day when I went to middle school," you tell her. Her face lights up. "Really? Isn't that kind of unhealthy?"

You laugh with her and nod, "Yeah, but I didn't care. I always thought only rich and privileged businessmen ate bagels so I begged my mom to buy some."

Jenna laughs, shaking her head before her smile begins to fade."I'm sorry. I know how much you miss her." You smile and shrug. "It's okay. We all just have our own way of coping." Jenna nodded in agreement smiling at you.

When you finish breakfast Jenna walks up to the cage, pressing her hand against the glass. You quickly stand up, mocking her movement. "Do you forgive me?" She whispers, and you can barely hear her.

"Fully. I had some time to think, and I understand that you only want what's best for me. I don't think anyone has cared for me the way you do." Jenna smiles, her brown eyes glistening with tears. She reaches into her bag, pulling out a pair of keys. Yes. Yes. Yes.

She opens the cage and you slowly walk towards her. Jenna wraps her arms around you and holds you close. When you pull apart you push her onto the ground, searching the room for a weapon.

Jenna stares up at you in shock, as you grab a knife from the table. You raise the knife above your head, ready to strike, but she runs away, tripping on the rug inside the room.

You straddle her, pinning her down with your body. She cries out in fear as you raise the knife to deliver the final blow. "NO! I'M PREGNANT!"

You pause and look into her eyes, realizing the truth of her words. You drop the knife as her chest weaves up and down. "I'm pregnant." She repeats, tears forming in her eyes. You take a step back, shock and disbelief gripping you in its grasp.

You can feel your heart beating rapidly as you process the news. You look at her, uncertain of what to say or do. "I couldn't let you walk out on us, Y/N. I couldn't let our baby grow up without their mother."

She takes your hand into hers and brings it to her stomach. You feel a rush of emotion overwhelm you, and you look up into her eyes, now filled with love. You know in this moment that you will do whatever it takes to make sure your child is safe in the arms of her.

"I was so scared." You tell the cop. He stares at you, and his expression softens. "That's why Jenna killed Zoe. To protect me and our baby." He nods slowly, understanding. "I know," he says. "You did the right thing." He helps you to your feet and leads you away and outside the integration room.

He guides you back to the station's lobby, and you watch as he disappears down the hallway. You take a deep breath and close your eyes. Ross stands up from the bench, bringing you into a tight hug. Jenna appears from behind him, kissing you softly before rubbing her belly. "It's okay, baby. We're safe now." She whispers to you.

[olderthannetfic]

You've encountered site changes over time as a fan elder, what do you make of Tumblr potentially being put out to pasture? Tumblr was my coming of age fan site, and im looking for advice to transition to the next thing with grace and less bitterness than I feel now.

--

Ahaha. God, you should have heard the howling about LJ. "Fandom is over!" "Never again shall we dwell in fandom's True Home!" etc.

Hell, this endless "only LJ was good" crap turns up in replies here on posts where I as OP have very clearly laid out why that's rose colored glasses nonsense and you can so make friends on tumblr, have a conversation on tumblr, etc.

I had my crabby phase about this during the transition from Yahoo Groups to LJ. A lot of the real olds had it over paper zines and the transition to the internet.

I don't know if reading these hilariously samey old posts would help. It does give perspective, I think.

--

As for what you should do, do what I did with Tumblr:

1.

Look around to identify the Next Thing fandom is going to camp out on.

It may take a few guesses and some time to figure this out. You will likely not be an early adopter. Fandom was well established here by the time I joined at the end of 2010. Of course, by now, all those 2009 and before accounts are long gone, but at the time, I was a n00b joining other people's space despite having been in fandom for ages.

2.

Don't expect to enjoy it

I didn't join tumblr because I liked it. In fact, I despised it. I kept right on despising it until a brief stint in Sherlock fandom, a fandom that was so active here at the time that I was able to finally see the good aspects of the site's structure and features.

This is the mistake a lot of people make. They give things a cursory try, don't enjoy them, and go "not for me", forgetting that the last site also had a steep learning curve that was either difficult or that they didn't notice because they were in a different phase of their life.

Bitterness and grief are, frankly, an inherent part of the process. You can try not to be a debbie downer in your public comments, but you can't just not feel those things during the awkward part of the transition. Sometimes, acting positive and cutting off excessively negative thoughts can make you feel less negative overall, but it doesn't happen immediately.

3.

Accept that feeling cranky and old is both a you problem and a state of mind, not a property of the new site

Relatedly, the way we remember fandom platform X feeling usually has more to do with us being in college with fandom friends down the hall or having discovered Our People for the first time or some other time when we had a lot of energy and positive emotions. Often, we were in the throes of a first or new fandom love too, probably for some megafandom that other people also cared about at the same time.

When fandom is leaving some site, there's a grieving process anyway, but we're also often in a worse part of our lives for starting new things. We're busy. We're tired. We're between fandoms. We feel like we already paid our dues to build up our community. Why should we have to start again?

But let me tell you, you always need to start again eventually. I go to a weekly vidders' zoom chat, and a lot of the people in there are old as balls, including Kandy, the person who invented vidding back in the 70s. She's a lot of decades and a few cancers in, and she had to relearn how to vid on a computer after transitioning from slideshows to VCR vidding back in the day. If bad health, platform changes, and dead friends were going to stop her, she'd be long gone.

It's like sharks: you stop swimming, you die.

This isn't just about fandom, obviously. It's about avoiding a midlife crisis and, later, about avoiding feeling emotionally geriatric even when your body is falling apart.

Change gets us all, but being mentally old is a choice. The real reason I gave tumblr such a try was that I had been so resistant to getting on LJ. I was 20. Even a year later, it was fucking embarrassing to have been a crotchety old hag as a college student. I promised myself I'd soldier through the next change instead of dragging my feet about it. And it totally worked in the end! But boy did it not make the transition any less unpleasant emotionally!

4.

Find your joy

As is obvious from the above, the vast majority of the problem is just emotions. Fandom has been on a million broken sites with shitty features. We go where the people are, regardless of whether it has the technological aspects we liked at the last place. The actual shape of that platform is largely irrelevant.

What does matter is whether we as an individual fan are still excited and happy about something. I was between fandoms recently and went looking around for BL series I hadn't watched yet. People kept suggesting things set in the present day with too-cheesy production values and too many banal schoolboys in modern day settings without even anything spicy going on. I realized that the BL/danmei scene wasn't really cutting it for me and I should go for production values and genre and non-canon ships. You probably scrolled annoyedly past the picspams that resulted.

(Of course, hilariously, someone has now shown me the trailer of Red Peafowl, so someone may be making BL that feels like it's for me after all. Look at all that badwrong and very dark color grading.)

When you're in a good place emotionally, it's a hell of a lot easier to weather any change, and when you have a new fandom, it's a lot easier to connect with other fans.

A lot of people wait around for lightning to strike twice. They found their first fandom by accident, and they expect it to happen seamlessly again. For me, it's far more productive to brute force it: collect up a big list of what's popular or what's new and go through it till you find things you might like, then try them all.

And part of this, obviously, is not waiting for other fans to make the party happen. The more you need to join something other people are already doing, the less choice you'll have in fandoms or in platforms. If you aren't picky and just go where the tropey longfic is, that can work, but even then, favorite authors disappear or go to fandoms you hate and former megafandoms dry up. If you're the one bringing the party, it's a lot easier to find a new fandom or platform or community to have fun in.

[short-honey-badger]

Peppermint Tea 10

Late night post! Couldn't sleep! Have some tooth rotting fluff!

Masterlist

The days dragged on, Mihawk actually busy for once with Navy orders to investigate a new emergence of rookie pirates at the edges of Doflamingo's territory. The world leaders knew that the pink moron would rather turn a blind eye to any criminal activity in his region. 

Even with his experience with much of the Grand Line and the New World, it still took Dracule a few days past a month for him to even return back to Gloom Island. He found that he missed you terribly, to the point that even Perona had pointed out his less than stellar mood. Not that he was ever really expressive anyway. Mihawk ignored her questions as he packed his ship once more for another week of travel. 

Perona floated after him, a scowl on her pretty face, “You just got back, and you're already leaving again? Why? What about me?” 

Hawkeye rolled his eyes, “I have a life outside of this castle, Perona,” he groused out and carefully stacked the books he had mentally chosen on his way back to Gloom Island. Last time he had seen you, you were particularly interested in the Blues. One of the thick tomes he'd picked would be a perfect gift for you. 

“You didn't three months ago,” She snapped back at him and crossed her arms in a pout. She hated being ignored! What was she supposed to do all alone in this dreary old castle? Zoro wasn't here to entertain her any longer. 

Dracule sighs, sweeping his hand through his hair and leveling the ghost girl a look, “It's rude to dig into other people's business. So stay out of mine,” He points out and then closes the bag full of books. Another smaller satchel rests at his feet, though that one is full of small trinkets from his foray into the New World. 

Usually, he strayed away from the market stalls and overpriced jewelry, but a small wind chime made of green sea glass had caught his eye. Dracule had paid for it without looking at the price and then continued on his way, unconsciously keeping a lookout for anything else that he thought you may like. 

The warlord may or may not have ended up with a few more than he had even meant to buy, but Mihawk thought about the look of joy that would cross your face at his gifts, and pushed the thought of how many he'd gotten away. 

“Well someone should be in your business! You've been so sneaky, Dracy! I want to know what you've been up to!” Perona demands again with a huff. She doesn't care that it's rude to butt into his business. He took care of her, let her stay on Gloom Island, and hadn't kicked her out like she knew he could. Perona would look after him, too! 

“Give it up, Perona,” Dracule grumbled, tone final as he picked up both bags and slung them over his shoulder. He fixed his hat with his free hand and then marched out of his study without a word to the floating pink girl. 

Mihawk wouldn't lie and say that he didn't feel at least the tiniest bit bad for lying to Perona. He did care for the girl, in a way like one would a stray cat. But she also had a big mouth, and Dracule had already slipped up once with Shanks. He couldn't do that again. 

The ghost girl pouted behind him as she followed the warlord all the way outside and to his ship. A frown took over her face when she noticed that he was packed as if he would be gone for a while. The ship looked more crowded than usual, and she wondered what Mihawk had stored away. 

“Well. How long will you be gone for?” Perona asks quietly and tries not to let it show how upset she actually was with Dracule leaving already. 

The older man sighs, stepping off his ship to trudge back inside the castle, “I won't be leaving until tomorrow. The trip takes around a week. I plan to stay for at least four days and then a week trip back,” Dracule says and makes sure to keep everything as vague as possible. He glances at the young girl and rolls his eyes when she still looks upset. 

“We will go shopping when I come back. Will that appease you?” Mihawk asks, and it's like a light switch. 

Perona grins in excitement. Shopping with Mihawk means getting whatever she wants. The warlord had more than enough berri to spend. 

“Fine! But I want to go to the best places, Mihawk! You owe me that,” She demands and crosses her arms in a huff, ready to argue her case if denied. 

“As long as it keeps you quiet,” Dracule says instead, and Perona just sticks her nose up in the air again as she floats away to her room. This wasn't over! She would find out what had suddenly taken all of Mihawk's attention. 

Dracule watches the pink girl leave with a fond sigh. He sits in his chair and reaches down to retrieve a bottle of wine from inside his desk. He pops it to let it air and then pours himself a careful glassful. Mihawk admires the red and thinks back on how this same brand of wine had stained your pretty lips. 

Now alone, the warlord allows his mind to drift without worry, eyes closing as he thinks back to the last time he was with you. His overly romantic thoughts have him sneering at himself, as if he were some prince come to sweep you off your feet. Dracule sips his wine. 

He likes to think that it's the other way around. For the most part, life had before a melancholy bore to Mihawk. Either following the government's orders to look for a good fight or nap the day away in his ship. Little caught and held his attention, but you? You are an entirely different story. 

Mihawk had never met someone so sheltered, only knowing of the world through waterlogged books and from the kindness of any pirate that may have washed up on your beach. From what Dracule has gathered, he has been one of the very few who hasn't tried to kill you. 

You were kind and intelligent. He loved the way that your eyes would light up whenever he spoke of what he knew, always excited to acquire more knowledge. Mihawk found that he wanted to teach to show you everything that he knew. 

He frowns suddenly and thinks back to the rather innocent question that had made anger and panic race through him. You wanted to know about him, not his knowledge, and it made him antsy. You didn't deserve to know the hardships and pain that he has gone through to get to where he is today. You did not need to be aware of the atrocities that he has committed over the years. Dracule Mihawk is not a kind man, and his past certainly reflects it. 

Mihawk would tell you more in time, but for now, Dracule wanted to be selfish. Wanted to hoard you away from the world and keep you safe like a dragon would its treasure. And maybe that is what you were to him. A pirate needed treasure, after all. 

The warlord finishes his glass and then stands, intending to fix himself and his ward dinner. He would leave at first light tomorrow morning, not later than that. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Hank whines at your feet, big puppy dog eyes catching your attention from where you sit slouched at your kitchen table. It's been a month and a half, and still, there has been no sign of Dracule. He had promised that he would be back, and the man didn't seem like the kind to break those, but it still made you worry for him. 

Was he okay? Did whatever business he had to attend go bad? Did a seaking attack him and somehow get the better of him? You have no idea, and your chest hurts at all the horrible possibilities that could befall your friend. 

Were you friends? Did that term apply to the two of you? The few romance books that you'd been able to cobble together didn't make it seem like the two of you were just friends. Was he your boyfriend? Partner? Lover? Again, another countless item that you did not know, however, you resolved to amend that when Dracule returned. Whenever that may be. 

“I know, Buddy. I'm sorry that I'm being such a sad sap,” You lament to your pooch and lean down to give the shaggy dog a scratch under his chin. 

Hank's woofs at, and you watch in suspicion when his ears suddenly snap back, and he wheels around to start barking at the front door. You frown as you get up and follow him, curious as to what got Hank's attention. 

That frown turns upside down when the door opens, and Dracule Mihawk strides in like he owns the place. He sets down several bags and pats Hank's head with a soft smirk before the mutt’s attention is caught by something outside. He bounds away, leaving you and Mihawk staring at one another. 

“Snow Angel,” He begins and takes a half step forward, but that's as far as he gets before you slam into him, Snow exploding around the two of you as you bury your face in his chest. You don't even care that his cross necklace is digging into your face. 

“You're back,” you cry. And when did that start? Oh, we'll. You pull away and wipe your eyes, though you can't help the tremble in your bottom lip, “I was worried that something might have happened to you.” 

Warm, calloused hands close around your freezing face, and Dracule leans in to rest his brow against your own. The feather on his hat tickles your face, but you ignore it, not taking your eyes away from the beautiful yellow ones that demand your attention. 

“There is little out there that could truly hurt me, Dear one,” Mihawk says in such a sure tone that you have no choice but to believe him. He strokes your cheeks, wiping away your tears with a soft smile meant only for you, “Though I do appreciate the thought that you worried for me so.” 

You sniff and send him a glare at his teasing. Damn this man and what he does to you. What you hardly understand. 

“You're really that strong?” You find yourself asking him, and lean back to observe his chiseled physique and the sword on his back. A funny feeling shoots through your stomach when you lay eyes on the cross guard, and you frown at the negativity of the emotion. 

You're so focused that you don't notice Dracule's hesitation, though you are quick to tune back in when he speaks. 

“I am. One of my proudest titles is the Greatest Swordsman in the world,” Mihawk admits, and you can't help but think that this is an important event for him, and you delight in knowing that he was finally giving you a peek inside of who he really is.

“It sounds like you've worked very hard for it,” you say softly and reach up to cup his hands with your own, thumbs swiping gently over his knuckles.  

“I did, still do. It is a title that I will happily defend,” Dracule murmurs and slips a hand free so that he can curl his arm around your waist. You shiver at the warmth he emits, and finally feel like you can breathe properly once again. Before you can comment further, Mihawk is twisting the two of you around and backing you up against the door, “Enough of that. Do kiss me, sweet thing. I have missed your taste.” 

Your back hits the door, and then his lips are upon your, closing over your own in a heated exchange that has one of your hands sliding into his hair and pulling him closer. You kiss him back like your life depends on it, opening up for him when Mihawk's tongue licks the seam of your lips. A choked moan leaves your throat when that hot muscle sweeps inside and curls around your tongue. 

Dracule slows, this kiss turning less frantic with need and more passionate, soft pecks of the lips that still leave your heart racing but in an entirely different way. He leaves one last lingering kiss to your cheek and then pulls away to tuck your head under his chin. You take advantage and cuddle close to him, arms dropping to wrap around his waist. You hum when his grip on you tightens. 

“I missed you,” you murmur quietly, and Dracule kisses the top of your head. 

“I know, dear. I longed for you as well,” he says, and your heart flutters at his words. Did he long for you? Did he pine like the men from your storybooks? 

“Wh-What are we?” You ask before you can stop the damming words coming out of your mouth. You flush and bury your face in the crook of his neck, “I know that we're friends, right? But I don't think friends kiss and, um, touch the way we do.” 

Dracule listens to you babble, finding it endearing that you wanted his opinion on this.

 “You can call what we have whatever you like,” He decides on and then catches your chin to lift your face and place a quick kiss to your lips, “But no matter what you choose, you are my treasure.” 

You can't find any kind of words to say to that, so you just reach for him to pepper his face with kisses, giggling when his facial hair tickles your face. Mihawk allows your fun for a whole before he puts a stop to it by flicking you in the forehead. 

“It's later than I intended to arrive, Darling,” Dracule scolds with a smirk and turns to the two of you around and gently pushes you to the kitchen, “You remember how I showed you to properly open a bottle of wine, right?” 

You laugh and dance into the kitchen, gathering the glasses that he had brought from last time and showing him that you did remember his instructions. You haven't touched the dangerous red liquid since that night, but you know that Dracule enjoys having a glass or four in the evening. 

The two of you settle in the living room afterwards, and Dracule sets his wine down long enough to retrieve the smaller bag. He opens it up, and you watch in growing panic as Mihawk pulls several boxes out of the drawstring. He hands over the largest of the parcels. 

“Open them, please,” Dracule instructs, and you set your own mug away to carefully tug at the delicate purple ribbon that holds the box shut. A gasp leaves you when you take the lid off, and you reverently pull out the beautiful green sea glass and delicate metal tubes attached to the fishing line. 

“What is it?” You ask and raise it up to better examine it in the setting sun that streams through your window. You gasp in delight when you hear the melodic echo at the slightest movement. 

“A wind chime. We can hang it wherever the wind blows most,” Dracule suggests, and you nod eagerly as you set the chimes back inside the box for safekeeping. Miahwk takes it away only to replace it with another. 

You end up with a fish bone comb that has been chiseled by masterful hands. A full sand dollar that you are extra careful with, and a large piece of red glass from a broken bottle that has been sanded and polished to a shine. Each item is handpicked just for you. 

Dracule looks like a smug cat, lips tugged up in a smirk as he watches you reverently put away your gifts. You agree to hang up the wind chime in the morning and open his arms for you to fall into. You gladly do, holding Mihawk close and not ever wanting to let go. 

It's quiet between two of you, a comfortable air that puts you at ease. At some point, Mihawk takes up the book, the one that you had read to him from, and begins to read. His soft timber is enough to send you into a light doze, and he slows to a stop, not wanting you to miss anything. 

“Darling, if you are so tired, let's get you to bed, yes?” Mihawk murmurs and rolls his eyes when all you do is give a sleepy nod. He shifts forward and then stands with you in his arms, tracing the now familiar path back to your bedroom. 

Dracule tucks you in, content to leave you for the night, but he doesn't get far before your pitiful voice rings out, “Stay here with me?” 

The warlord is already sitting on the bed and tugging his boot off. You watch with squinted eyes as Mihawk reaches for his belt, sliding it out of the loops and sliding his pants off. You admire his lean form dressed only in black men's underwear. He is radiant, and it makes you a little nervous to have him so undressed and in your bed no less. 

You toss back the blankets and Dracule slips in beside you. It's a little awkward at first, but then you can feel how much heat he is radiating and desperately wants to know how it feels to have so much of his exposed skin touching you. You roll over to face him, smiling in the dim light of the moon when you realize that he's been watching you the whole time. 

“I know you're cold,” Mihawk whispers, and you can hear that knowing, teasing tone that you have missed so much. “Come here, Snow Angel.” 

You don't have to be told twice, happily closing the distance and tossing your arm over his waist, head pillowed on his chest. You press your freezing feet against his legs and are treated with the rare sight of his eyes going wide and a hiss like a cat escaping his mouth. 

You snicker and get pinched in the side for your trouble, but you can't bring yourself to care. This night couldn't get any better. 

@writingmysanity @kenkenmaaa @foggyturtleknightangel @browneyedhufflepuff @djbumblebee @goth-mami-writer @myradiaz

[theclassiccosmic]

Pick a Pile / March Epiphanies

Images from Instagram & @hikayelertukendii

PILE 1 - White Tulips

Pile 1 - 6 of Pentacles Reversed, Page of Wands, Knight of Cups, Nine of Wands, Ten of Swords Reversed

Miracles, Strength, Tenacity, Fortitude, End of Suffering

You are stronger than you know. I’m getting the image of the Disney movie, Hercules. He is raised by his mortal parents, always having to be careful with his strength and abilities. However, in this time, it’s like you are coming “online” to the fact that this is your authentic identity. No more “being careful”, no more hiding. You’re taking a leap in something, even if you’re scared. As soon as you take that leap, I see miracles being rained down on you! Yes, babe!! You are leaning into your strong leadership role. You’re being your true self, even if you’ve been told that you are usually “too much” for people. Let those people go find less. You are embracing who you are now. You are loving yourself. You are filling your own cup. You should be so so proud of yourself! I’m proud of you <3

Oracle Cards: Quiet Your Mind, My Heart is Open to Love, Radiate Confidence

These tell me that you should take time to regularly meditate or pray. Everyday. Your thoughts become things, so make sure you’re quieting your mind daily. This will bring out your best timeline. Grounding will make you more confident, less anxious. Embracing your authenticity will open your heart up to love. Loving yourself, loving others, attracting a romantic partner. This will all culminate for you, as you *actively* participate in bringing it in. Spirit and the Universe/God, is always here for you. They are cheering you on as you enter this new chapter!

Song for Pile 1: Can I Jump? - Freya Ridings

PILE 2 - Red Tulips

Pile 2 - Five of Cups Reversed, The Emperor, Three of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles

This will be a month for you to release a toxic ex or situationship. This connection left you out in the cold. It was all you initiating and desiring (ie. You doing everything, and them not doing sh*t) Too one sided. You might have met them at work, like you two work together, or you went to their place of business looking for a service and met them (like the barista at your local coffee shop). But here’s the thing, your attention was only the first way they were *taking* from you. You were also giving your power away by giving their establishment money (examples that I’m getting: paying for coffee, continually going to them to groom your dog, going to them for some sort of healing service - chiropractor, reiki, massage). And they just kept taking! Bc they knew you liked them and their ego was getting stroked. But not anymore!! With the Queen of Pentacles and The Emperor I’m seeing you taking your power back! They were bleeding you dry, keeping you disempowered, until you reached a big mental shift and energetic upgrade (could be peaking this month!) Finally you are coming out of the cold (this pile is the only one where the flowers are in the snow - coincidence? I think not). You are choosing yourself. You are realizing that you are worth more. You are worth reciprocal energy exchanges. You are worth receiving as well as giving. You are worth the Sun being shone on YOU instead of the other way around all of the time. Yes, babe! I’m loving this for you!

Oracle Cards: I Release All Negative Energy, Surrender to the Spirit Energy, Strong Brave Bold, You Will Not Stand in the Shadow of Another

The Oracle cards even speak of this being a negative/toxic connection. Actively work on releasing it (cord cutting ceremonies, meditation, journaling), they are not worthy of you boo! You are strong, brave and bold and sometimes people see that, and instead of being *attracted* to it in a romantic way, they are drawn to it in a way that brings forth envy. They want to take it from you. But like these Oracle Cards say, You will NOT stand in the shadow of another! It’s giving…self respect okay! Move on and watch your glow up explode!!

Song for Pile 2: We Can’t Be Friends (Wait for Your Love) - Ariana Grande

PILE 3 - Lilac Tulips

Pile 3 - Strength, Four of Wands Reversed, Six of Pentacles Reversed, Queen of Swords Reversed, Ace of Swords

3 out of your 5 cards came out reversed. You’re definitely laying something down now. “Laying down the struggle” is what just came through. In the deck that I’m using, even your upright Ace of Swords is showing a hand dropping the sword. You’re not fighting anymore. You’re done making life hard. I’m getting this visual of that old Disney movie The Sword and the Stone. In all of your cards, your swords and your wands are pointing down, they’re falling. I’m seeing them fall into the stone from that movie. And then you come along, with all of your innate intuitive power, and pull them out. You are making what hurt you, now *work* for you. You better get it, fam. Side note: when I looked up that movie, the year really called out to me. It was made in 1963, and when I look up the angel number 1963 online it says “Angel Number 1963 asks you to trust and believe that you will always have plenty to care for yourself and your loved ones. Know that you are able to confidently serve your life purpose and soul mission with your wants and needs being met along the way. The angels and Universal Energies will ensure that your material needs are always met in Divine right time. Trust that the Universe provides all.” [Sacred Scribes blogspot] Which brings me to the energy of the Strength card. On my deck, strength is represented by the bull. Very much like a Taurus. You may have a Taurus Mars {the planet of action and doing) or you may have a lot of Taurus or fixed energy in your birth chart. Either way, this is telling me that everything is going at the pace in which it should. Divine timing is at play right now. I’m feeling like some of you may have been feeling frustrated by how long this “healing journey” has been going on for you. Peep what the oracle messages had for you “everything will reveal itself in time”.

Oracle Cards: My Destiny Will Reveal Itself in Time, Surrender to the Spirit Energy, Consider All Your Options Before Acting, Let Go of Things That No Longer Serve You

There is healing happening here. You are surrendering. You are trusting the divine timing of it all. And if you’re *not* doing that, then the message here is for you to lean more into that this month. It is imperative for your growth and ascension. In life we must let go of things, people, environments that no longer serve us. It’s sad but it’s true, not everyone is meant to go with you on this journey. Consider your options. Trust your intuition. Don’t let others make your decision for you. Make the decisions and life choices that will make your heart happy. In doing so, you will let go of a lot of hurt and strife that you are no longer meant to be experiencing, love. You’ve got this!!

Song for Pile 3: Now is the Hour - The 1975

DM me for personal/private readings or if you’d like to dive deeper into one of these piles! Until next time -xo