#but when i do have uni and work and other stuff how do i manage that ? idk ! we’ll find out ig

[the-casbah-way]

i think every university student who has a job and studies at the same time deserves everything they want forever actually

[exopelagic]

I know the world is cruel because I finally wanna draw again and yet I am forced to pack :(

[justinefrischmanngf]

my issue is finding the line between doing too many things and not doing enough things………

[im-sleepdeprived]

Can you write something about co-workers to friends to lovers?

fix you up

pairing: peter parker x reader

a/n: i won’t lie to y’all idk how i feel abt this one. its cute dgmw but i hope you guys like it !!! ive had this request for an EMBARRASSINGLY long time, anon if you’re upset, i totally understand

warnings: mentions of injuries, burns, rude customers, bandaging some wounds n stuff, fluff and pining !!! (disclaimer: I’ve never been a barista so forgive me if this is a lil off)

masterlist, requests are open !!

Working in a rustic-vintage-corner-campus-cafe was definitely not how you saw your college years going. Your teen self would’ve killed to work at a place like this but when you grew up, you realized just how different the workload is between a high school student and a uni one such as yourself. 

You weren’t complaining of course. The pay was adequate, your manager was a simple old lady who never had much to say other than making sure all the equipment was clean, you got along with your coworkers pretty well for the most part and the customers were tolerable. 

But every once in a while, you’d get an entitled shithead who seemed to make it their life’s mission to ruin someone else’s day. And the problem with working a social job such as you did, is that you were an easy target. 

It started off as a fairly simple day, you clocked in and put on your apron ready to start your shift for the day. You preferred late morning shifts, leaving afternoons for classes (and the rouge 8am lecture every now and then) and nights for going out or studying. 

“Oh, Y/N! Thank god you're here,” Your co-worker, Vanessa, exclaimed.

Vanessa was a few years older than you. She actually wasn’t a student, she’d given college a try and it wasn’t her thing. Apparently, all it did was “try to undermine unstoppable greatness.” She was chatty, but you actually liked that about her. She could keep up a conversation with a statue. When you first started off here she’d been the one to show you the ropes and ever since then, you’d had a specific bond with her that you couldn’t really put a name to.

You gave her a small smile, “Yeah well, I do prefer to show up when promised. Especially when my paycheck depends on it,” you let out a small laugh.

“Yes! See, that's what I love about you,” she made a disgusted face, “Unlike Peter. Honestly, I don't understand how he hasn’t been fired yet! He shows up at least half an hour late to every shift yet Miss Hannigan still keeps him around.”

“Oh,” you stuttered, raising your hands a little in defense, “I didn't mean it as a jab at Peter, I swear.”

She tossed a curled blonde lock of hair over her shoulders while waving her other hand in dismissal, “Honey, don’t worry about it. I know you would never, you’re far too sweet for that. But I wouldn’t blame you if you did, you know, having to work more than half your shift alone? I swear if Bernard did that to me,” she made a big show of gesturing to herself, "I would not deal with it.”

While what she was saying wasn’t necessarily wrong, it didn’t feel right talking about Peter like that. Sure, he was late most of the time, leaving you to do most of the work while you waited for him to show up (somehow when he started working you two got the same shift together and it’s just been that way ever since) and while you, also, normally wouldn’t put up with this, there was something different about Peter. You never felt like he was taking advantage of you, and purposefully made you pick up extra slack. It was quite the opposite actually, he always apologized profusely and never slacked when he was on the clock. He always seemed so rushed and out of breath, you were pretty sure the poor boy just needed to learn how to manage time better. Plus, he always took it upon himself to unpack the orders because of all the heavy lifting required (you couldn’t tell just by looking at him, with all the sweaters he wore, but man was he ripped.)

“He’s actually really sweet.” You’re not sure why exactly you’re so keen on defending Peter. You two barely spoke, outside of work of course, and you don’t know much about him. But something inside you didn’t like anyone assuming anything bad about him. 

“Yea, well, he’d be a ton sweeter if he clocked in on time,” she laughed as she untied her apron, getting ready to leave. You faked a laugh as well, not wanting the conversation to progress any further. 

“Alrighty, well,” she heaved a breath, “I'm off, have a good rest of your day Y/N.”

You smiled once again and sent a wave her way before settling down in front of the register. It was slow today, not many people in the shop. A fellow student you only recognized from work sat in a corner booth with their headphones locked in and was working on what seemed to be some kind of essay. 

There was an older woman, however, looking incredibly irritated at the table closest to you. You’d never seen her before but that wasn’t too strange. It was a near-campus cafe, after all, lots of people passing through. She looked to be typing on her phone until, suddenly, she shut it off and made direct eye contact with you. 

If looks could kill, you would’ve dropped dead behind the counter, which wouldn’t be all that ideal considering you couldn’t remember the last time anyone mopped that side of the store. 

She stood up and walked towards you and you already dreaded the conversation to come.

“I have an order,” she spit out, as if she were disgusted to even be talking to you at the moment. 

No greeting or anything, wow. Someone wasn’t raised right. 

Nonetheless, you put on your well-rehearsed customer service smile and gave in. “Sure, I’d be happy to help with that. Can you just give me the order?”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I shouldn’t have to, I called in and placed it and it should be ready by now. I'm going to be late!”

You froze for a moment, not quite sure what to do, “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience ma’am, but I just got here and I haven’t heard anything,” you glance at the little whiteboard kept on the counter for these exact situations only to find it empty, “and I don’t see anything here about a phone-placed order. Are you sure you have the right store?”

Her face was so red and steam was practically blowing out of her ears, “Of course, I have the right store! Do you think I'm stupid or something?”

“No! Of course not, I'm so sorry,” you start to blabber off, not wanting to make her any angrier than she already was, “I’ll get things ready for you right away ma’am.”

You turned around and tried to make yourself not freak out as badly as you wanted to. It was so humiliating getting yelled at like this in public! And yeah, maybe if you had such a problem with unpleasant interactions like this, you shouldn't have taken a social job such as this one, but honestly, you thought people would have enough manners not to act up like this. Apparently not. 

It slipped your mind for a moment because of how scrambled you got when the lady flipped her lid, but Vanessa has been known to do this, forget to write down orders and leave you to fend for yourself (quite literally since your coworker was never really around) and you’re pretty sure that’s what happened here. Other customers were usually more understanding than this woman bordering on Kathy-Bates-movie-character-insanity over a drink order. 

You reached into your back pocket, deciding you’d try to send her a hurried text about any phone calls she might remember. That just seemed to anger your customer more.

“Excuse me?! I'm sitting here waiting for my order and you're too busy chatting away on your phone?”

You lose yourself for a moment and you can’t feel your face anymore. 

“I am so sorry ma’am,” you repeat, which seems to be your mantra since you started working today, “I was just checking to see if-,”

“I don't care what you were checking, or what you need to see! Give me what I paid for,” her hand started smacking against the counter loud enough for the only other person in the store to look up, broken from their reverie. They merely shot you an apologetic look before getting back to their work, leaving you to fend for yourself.

“You have terrible customer service, honestly. I come here every Tuesday with my book club, but never again. If I don’t get exactly what I asked for in the next five minutes, I'm calling your boss and not leaving until I'm sure you’re fired.” 

You shake your head, “There’s no need to do that ma’am, I'll get everything ready for you.”

You turned around once again, this time, heading towards the cappuccino machine. You’re not sure why you said that considering you have no clue what ‘everything’ is that has to get ready. 

In all honesty, there’s a low chance that a suburban-white-soccer-mom type would have any real effect on your employment. Miss Hannigan would surely not fire you just because some order forgot to be written down and some customer got pissed. Right?

But you really didn’t want to find out. 

So, you started up the machine and turned to grab a cup. Today, apparently, was just doomed from the start. As you turned to grab one of the cups placed on the shelf over the machine, your hand hit the button that turned on the steam wand. Which was aimed directly at your other hand. 

You bit down the yelp that threatened to escape and jumped back, the back of your hand now searing with pain. Instinctively, your other hand came to cup your injured one, which only made it worse. You fought back tears as you moved to turn the steam back off. 

Inhaling deeply, you took a moment to try to get your mind working again. “Hello?!” Of course. You turned your head and gave her the fakest smile you’ve ever mustered in your whole life. “One minute ma’am.”

You could hear her going off about how she doesn’t have a minute to spare, but you ignored her, trying to think of what the hell you could give her to just get her out of your face. You’d have to guess her order since I wasn’t actually taken. You’d started playing a game with yourself since you worked here, guessing people's drink orders, and you’d say you’ve gotten pretty good. 

You peeked a look back at her. You’d had customers around her age come in before and order, for the most part, the same thing. A plain cappuccino. Seemed like a safe bet.

Swallowing down the pain as best you could, you approached the machine again. This time, taking out the portafilter. It must’ve not been put in correctly because it clattered to the ground, coffee grinds falling around the floor. 

You wanted to cry. Your hand hurt like hell, there was a new mess to deal with, and that lady hadn’t stopped complaining since you stepped in. 

Frozen, you began to panic a little, breaths coming out sporadically. You’d leave the sweeping for later, but you had to clean the filter so you could use it because it was the only one. And the slightest brush of air made your hand burn even more. You had no clue how to go about this. Maybe if you-

Like an angel, Peter rushed in through the side door. Tying his apron around his waist, he looked towards you. Your hand flew up to your mouth at his perfect timing and you saw his expression grow more concerned. 

He rushed towards you. “What happened?” And for a second, you forget everything that was stressing you out just a few moments before. He grabbed your hand so gently, you forgot every ounce of pain. 

“I cannot believe this!” She wasn’t giving up and you shut your eyes in frustration, turning to reply to her again. But before you can open your mouth, Peter steps in. “Hold on, can’t you clearly see she’s hurt?”

She scoffed and crossed her arms, “That’s her fault. If she knew how to do her job, it wouldn’t have happened.”

You could feel the anger rolling off him in waves. His expression hardened and his mouth opened to shoot something back at her, but this time, you cut him off. You placed your non-injured hand on his shoulder and gave him a look. 

He stared at you for a few seconds before finally giving in, blowing out some air in a frustrated huff. “Go wait for me inside,” he told you, nodding his head toward the employees-only backroom. 

“What?” You asked confused. You didn’t wanna leave him alone. 

“You’re not working right now, there’s no way I’m letting you. I’ll deal with her. Go, I’ll be right there,” he said, shoving you away gently.

Once you heard that he’d be following you, you were more willing. You walked through the door and took a seat at the table usually used for meal breaks. The ‘break room’ was a small room positioned in the back of the store. You can’t remember what this place used to be (a diner maybe?) but this specific room was used as an office, but Miss Hannigan claimed she had no use for an office so it was used for employee breaks. 

Every ounce of you was grateful for Peter’s Superman moment back there. He came in today earlier than usual and he’d totally saved your ass. You were going to make sure to tell him. 

You weren’t waiting long before the door opened again and Peter walked in, holding a backpack you hadn’t seen on him before. In his other hand, he held a drink. He placed the drink on the table before he grabbed one of the chairs, bringing it close to yours, and you turned your body to face him. 

He picked up your hand again, just as gently as before. “Alright,” he let out a breath of relief, “it’s not as bad as I thought, but, it’s still gonna take a while to heal. Wait,” he leaned over, unzipping his bag and taking supplies out while you just stared at him.

“I thought you majored in biochemistry.” You blurted out. Your face heated up a little when he looked at you curiously.

“I- I saw your textbooks once when you left your bag open. And I’ve seen you around campus, near the science-y buildings…and stuff.” You shrugged and he chuckled. 

“I do,” he nodded, “any medical stuff is self-taught. I get into a lot of…accidents.”

“Oh.” You nodded at him. What kind of accidents would he get into? You’d never seen him hurt, but what did you know. 

“I take it you don’t major in anything science-y,” he said, grinning at you.

You shook your head, “No, I don’t. But I have a chemistry class I have to take for credit. Which makes no sense because chemistry has nothing to do with what I want to learn.”

He laughed and set his bag back down, everything he needed was now laid out on the table. “Okay,” he picked up a white tube with red lettering on it. “This is gonna help with pain and scarring. I’m going to spread some of this, then wrap it up for you.” You looked at the table and saw he’d also taken out some white gauze. What kind of ‘accidents’ did he get into?

You nodded, at a complete loss for words. You had no idea Peter knew so much about injuries and you were so thankful he was helping you out. You didn’t hate each other, but you weren’t close either.

He applied a small amount to the back of your hand, asking you constantly if you were okay as he rubbed it on softly. Honestly, even if it did hurt, you wouldn’t have the heart to tell him.

He finished up with the cream and moved onto the gauze, expertly wrapping it up to lightly cover your wound. When he was finished with that, he carefully tied it off, making sure not to tie it too tight.

“There,” he leaned back and smiled at you, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “All fixed up.”

 “Thank you, Peter, really.” You reluctantly pulled your hand back into your lap, missing the warmth of his fingers wrapped around it.

“You don’t need to thank me Y/N, it’s the least I could do. I’m just glad I got here earlier than usual.”

You nodded and looked down. “Well thanks anyway, you saved my ass back there. Seriously, I have no idea what’s wrong with me today but I kept fucking everything up.”

“Hey,” he said softly, making you look up and meet his gaze. “You didn’t fuck anything up. Okay? You made a few mistakes, but that's not your fault. She shouldn’t have been treating you like that, especially when you’d hurt yourself.” He looked away and scoffed as he remembered the terrible customer that had ruined your morning. You would’ve felt extremely touched by his care if it weren’t for his next words.

“All that for a plain fucking cappuccino.” He mumbled.

“A plain cappuccino? Really?” You asked excitedly, forgetting about everything, and grinning at him wildly. 

“Um, yeah…why?” He asked you, confusion was written all over his face, but he couldn’t help his own smile slightly growing when he noticed your enthusiasm.

“Nothing,” you shook your head quickly, smile never fading, “I just…well, I play this game with myself where I guess people's drink orders. And I think I’m getting pretty good because that’s exactly what I was going to make her before you walked in.”

He laughed out loud and you joined in. “What’s my order?” He asked. 

You paused for a moment. “A caramel macchiato with extra caramel.”

He looked at you for a bit, “Close,” he admitted. “It used to be.”

“So are you gonna tell me what it is now?”

Shaking his head, he leaned over the table and dragged the drink he’d brought in earlier in front of you. “Here,” he changed the subject, “I made you this.”

You’d completely forgotten about it, and when you took a closer look, you realized it was your coffee order. 

Your mouth fell open, “How’d you know?”

He just shrugged, smiling slightly. He knew it was your favorite, but the confirmation was still nice. “I've seen you make it for yourself. Educated guess.”

“Oh my god,” you said, voice soft. It was a simple thing really, you had one most days at the end of your shift. But the fact that he’d noticed… It just meant a lot. “Thank you so much, Peter.”

He just waved you off, his smile growing when he noticed your reaction to the drink. He couldn’t believe he got a chance to speak to you. Truly speak to you. He was always too awkward or embarrassed or trying to avoid embarrassment. But now, while he didn’t like the circumstances that led you both here, he was actually talking to you. And it was nice.

“So,” he started, not wanting this to end just yet, “you said you’ve got a chemistry class?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, picking up your drink and taking a sip. “The one with Professor Hall. I actually have a class after this shift. I totally suck though, and he hates me. I just don’t get it, and he doesn’t explain it well!”

Peter nodded, completely understanding what you meant. It was a tough subject to begin with, and he knew not everyone was as into science as he was, add onto that a teacher who doesn’t really teach, it’s a recipe for disaster. 

“I actually had that class. Last year. I can help you, sometimes. If you’d like me to, that is!” He rushed out. Great, he thought, now I’m getting awkward. 

You looked up at him, eyes wide. “Really? Do you mean that?”

“Of course. I think I’ve still got my notes too, if you want ‘em.” He shrugged nonchalantly as if he wasn’t saving your ass again. 

“Oh my god Peter,” you placed your non-injured hand on his knee, not noticing the way his body stiffened and he gulped. “That would help so much. There’s a huge exam coming up, and it's a huge part of my grade so I have to pass. I started cramming earlier but—”

“I’ll help,” he reassured you, “I enjoy science anyway, so it’ll be fun for me.”

“Thank you,” you repeated. Staring at him so close, you realized you’d never noticed how handsome he was. Sure there were times you thought he was cute, from afar, but now…you could see the different shades of brown in his eyes, the way one of his eyebrows was slightly curlier than the other, unwilling to sit straight. You couldn’t help but stare-

“Oh my god,” you repeated, except this time, you had remembered something. “If we’re both in here, who’s outside?”

“What? Oh, um,” he scratched the back of his neck, still reeling from having you so close to him. “Freddy’s out there?”

“Freddy?” You asked confused. 

He nodded. “The guy writing on his laptop, he’s friends with my roommate, throws the craziest parties. He’s chill, I told him to keep an eye out if someone else walks in. But it’s been slow, so I think we’re good.”

“Oh, okay.” You said, standing up. “We should probably still go though.”

He stood up beside you, frowning. “I don’t think you should work with your hand hurt. I don’t want you accidentally making it worse.”

Your heart warmed at his concern. “That's really sweet Peter, but I’ll be fine. I don’t know what happened before, I never do stuff like that, even accidentally.”

He still didn’t look convinced. “Why don’t you just go home? I can take it for today.”

You shook your head quickly, “I’m not leaving. I have a class later and it would just be a waste of time going back and forth anyway.”

You walked towards the door, opened it, and exited before he had a chance to argue anymore. You stepped behind the counter while Peter rushed out behind you. You watched Freddy give him a thumbs up and Peter nodded at him before he followed right after you. 

“Are you sure you should go to class today? I can walk you home so you can take the day off,” he offered, and he looked so genuine you almost accepted. 

“Peter,” you laughed and he decided no matter what your response was, it wouldn’t matter because hearing you say his name like that was enough. “I’ll be fine, I didn’t break both my legs, it's just a small burn.”

He stared at you for a bit as you smiled at him, trying to get him to ease up. “Fine,” he gave in reluctantly. “But no going towards the cappuccino machine,” he waved a finger at you, “or the ovens. Or anything hot!”

“Fine,” you shot back, grinning wide and he couldn’t help but return it.

The rest of the morning had gone by easily and you thought maybe you didn’t have totally shit luck. Peter was way more fun than you ever thought he’d be and you wondered why you didn’t start talking to each other sooner. 

It used to be silently working together but after those few moments in the break room, you guys were laughing your whole shift. He meant what he said, and he kept you away from anything that produced heat (which you told him was an insane boundary to set in a cafe) so you had extra time to make quips here and there.

You started playing your order-guessing game with him, teaching him certain traits that gave someone away:

“Side part, beanie, and a crossbody? Oh, he’s getting a tall, dark, americano for sure.”

“She’s getting tea. No coffee, just tea. Maybe with a little lemon wedge.”

And he started to get the hang of it. 

“She looks like she drinks matchas right?” He said to you when a girl around your age walked in. He’d been right and you both laughed about it afterwards. 

When your work shift ended, you were actually upset. 

“I’ve got a class to get to,” you told him, lifting your bag onto your shoulder. You’d both cleaned up and gotten yourselves ready, now standing in front of the door. Something in you didn’t want to leave just yet, enjoying your time together far too much to end it so soon. 

“Yeah…” he trailed off, you waited for him to continue but he hesitated. 

“What is it?” You crossed your arms and smiled slightly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. He brought a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, “I just…well, I was just wondering—if it's okay with you of course!” He rushed out, quickly bringing his hands up. “That I could walk you to class?”

You laughed, “I’d love that Pete, thank you.” You turned to open the door to let you both out but he quickly moved forward, holding it open for you and motioning for you to move forward. 

Looking back at him, you smiled and noticed his cheeks were a little red. How had you never noticed how adorable he was?

The walk back to campus wasn’t long but you learned a lot. He told you where he went to high school, his friends he still kept in touch with, his Aunt May, some funny moments from parties he’d been forced to attend by his roommate, and you laughed together.

You told him about the book you were currently reading, your life back home and your family, and why you chose to go to this college. He went along with your jokes, which made it all the more better for you. “I mean if you think about it,” you'd said, “it is so much easier to romanticize your life  when your school campus is as pretty as this one, and that’s real motivation!”

The conversation flowed naturally between you two and it felt like you’d been friends for ages. He dropped you off outside of your class building with the promise of picking you up afterward so you two could study together. 

“So I’ll be back here in an hour right,” he asked. 

“Right,” you smiled at him. “And thanks again Pete, for everything.” You held up your bandaged hand, shaking it a little before setting it back down. 

He shook his head quickly, “Don’t thank me for that. Really.”

You stared at him with a warm expression. “Bye Peter,” you waved as you turned to walk into your class.

“Bye Y/N,” he returned. He watched you walk through the doors, shooting him one last smile before you disappeared from view, before blowing out a breath of air. 

He’d finally gotten a chance to talk to the girl he’d been crushing on for months, and he got to walk her to class! And they were meeting up afterward. After working so close to you and never having the guts to initiate a conversation, he’d settled for just admiring you from afar. But after today, there was nothing that could keep him away. 

You were not having a good day. 

You’d just found out that your chemistry exam was being bumped up to two days from now. Even with the early studying you’d done before, there was no way you could catch up with everything that fast. You were so overwhelmed you had completely forgotten Peter was waiting for you outside. 

You walked out, your bottom lip stuck between your teeth, and you practically jumped out of your skin when someone placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said, his voice soft yet full of concern. Peter. “It's just me. What happened?”

The second he saw you walk out, he could tell something was off. He could literally sense the anxiety rolling off of you in waves. He had waited for you to look up and stop when you saw him, but you were just about to walk past him before he stopped you. Now, you were looking at him with distress coating every feature on your face. Your brows were pinched, your lip red from biting it, and your eyes wide and distant like you couldn’t even see him and he was standing right in front of you. Something had gone wrong and he wanted nothing more than to fix it. 

“What is it? What’s wrong? He asked frantically. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered, hands flying up to the sides of your head and gripping your hair. You weren’t looking at him anymore, “Oh my god.”

“Ok Y/N,” he said nervously, “you’re starting to scare me.”

“Two days Peter!” You looked at him wildly. “Two days! I can’t go over everything in two days, is he fucking insane? I didn’t even know he could do something like that, I mean, can he do something like that? I feel like that shouldn’t be allowed it should—”

You cut yourself off and started pacing back and forth in front of him. “Oh my god, I’m gonna bomb this. And if I fail, it’ll bring my whole grade down! I can’t afford that I—”

“Hey,” he repeated, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder again. “I said I’m gonna help you, and I meant it. So we’re gonna get through this together, even if we have to stay up all night.”

You stared at him, trying to wonder what you’d done in your life to deserve such an angel. 

You shook your head quickly, “I really appreciate that Peter, but I’m serious. There’s no way I can learn everything I need to know that fast.”

You tried to smile at him but it didn’t reach your eyes. 

He grinned, his expression the total opposite of yours. “Well, you’ve clearly never studied with me, so don’t sound too sure yet.”

Another thing you’d come to realize was just how smart Peter was. 

You really should’ve known when he told you he’d taken that advanced chemistry class a year ago. And passed. 

Looking through his notes, you could see his attention to detail. He really wasn’t a slacker in the classroom because everything was clearly laid out here. 

You’d spent that night going over everything and you’d actually started to feel hopeful about it. Peter was a way better teacher than Professor Hall, and it didn’t hurt that he was so cute. He was understanding with everything and was willing to go over any part for as long as it took for you to fully grasp it. 

At the end of the night, he’d undone the wrappings around your hand, reapplied the cream for you, and wrapped it up again.

“It’s doing okay,” he reassured you. “Like I said, it’s gonna take a while, but if it starts hurting or anything, take some medicine. Then find me.”

You were sure you’d just melted into his hands at that moment.

The next day, you couldn’t wait to get through everything and see him again, even if you were going to be talking about chemistry. 

You weren’t scheduled to work at the cafe today, so you’d only get to meet up after both of your classes. 

Lectures were a blur, nothing really catching your attention and you spent most of the time with your phone tucked in your hand texting back and forth with Peter, barely concealing your laughter when he sent you memes. 

It was like that all day, until, finally, you made your way over to his small apartment he shared with one of his friends. 

its very quaint 🤌

(totally NOT what we say to make ourselves feel better about this shoebox)

He’d told you over text, making you laugh out loud as you made your way over there. 

dw🫡 I was one of those kids who used to live in their play tents and hid in random corners and spaces

im totally ready for this

ok but be warned, we do not have a pet!!! they are not allowed per our lease!!! ignore the cat when you come in!!! tell no one!!!

what cat ??

good girl ;)

Your face flushed as you made your way up the steps to his door. You knocked three times and barely had to wait a second before Peter stood before you, holding the door open. 

“Hi,” he said, smiling at you. 

“Hi,” you grinned back. You heard a small ‘meow’ come from behind him and he quickly held up a finger to his lips. You covered your mouth, stifling a laugh as you nodded at him. 

“Come on in,” he said, stepping out of the way to lead you through the door. You stepped in and kicked off your shoes before looking around. It was plain, but that was to be expected really. 

There was a large poster hanging next to their TV, however, that caught your eye. “Big fan?” You asked him, shoving your thumb in the direction of the Star Wars poster. 

He shrugged nonchalantly, “Kind of.”

“Oh. Well, I was just asking because I love those movies. My little brother used to watch them and I got really into it.”

“Oh. I mean—I don’t know what I was saying before I love them too.” He rushed out, making you giggle.

He stayed staring at you for a bit, his eyes rounding out and his mouth gaping a little bit. 

You gave him a small smile, “Okay, well we should-” You let out a small yelp, hands flying to your mouth as you jumped back. 

The living room was small. The only things occupying it were the TV mounted to the wall, and in front of it, was a sofa. And on the sofa, was an unconscious body that you hadn’t noticed until it let out a low groan. You really weren’t sure how you missed it, there wasn’t much else to look at, but they had just been so still. 

Heart beating erratically, you turned towards Peter again, who was looking at you with all the amusement in the world written all over his face. “Was he always there,” you whispered, eyes wide.

He opened his arms, “Well, angel, I really don’t know. Did you see anyone come in?”

“Oh shut up,” you grumbled. “He looks familiar…is that..”

“Freddy.” He finished for you. Right. The dude from the cafe. 

“He crashes here sometimes.” He added.

You nodded. “Alright.”

“Shall we?” He opened a door beside him and looked at you. 

“Right. Yeah, of course.” You walked past him and into his room. You stopped after you entered, taking a moment to look around. His room was simple, with just his bed, a desk and chair, and a dresser perched next to another door you assumed was his closet. 

What really caught your attention, however, were the photos scattered all over the walls. The room was practically engulfed in Peter Parker’s memories, and you really liked it. Without thinking, you approached one wall, walking through them and taking each one in. 

There were some with large groups of people, those looked like school trips. Most of the photos were of the same two people, and based on what he’d told you, you assumed those were his friends. Ned and MJ. 

A lot of the photos contained an older woman, who looked stunning. That had to be his Aunt May. You were shocked by how many photos he had with the Tony Stark. He’d told you he had an internship at Stark Industries, but really, you sorta thought he just went on coffee runs all day. 

And then, you saw a couple shots of Spider-Man. It wasn’t unusual, you knew a lot of people snapped photos of the masked hero when they spotted him around the city. What was unusual, was the quality of the photos. You didn’t know if you’d ever seen such clear photos of him, even on the news, as he was always swinging and in motion. In these, Peter seemed to have caught him at just the right time. You wondered how long it took him to capture the photos.

“Big fan?” You smirked over at him from your spot by one of the Spider-Man photos as you repeated your words from earlier. 

Peter leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, content with watching go over the details of his life. He felt a little naked, like he was bared out in front of you. But…it felt good too. He liked knowing you were learning new things about him, and curious to know more. It filled him with an anxious sort of giddiness.

“You first,” he said slyly.

Laughing, you said, “Well, I don’t see how anyone can hate on the guy. He literally runs around saving lives”

He laughed as he approached you, standing by your side. You’d be surprised. “True I guess.”

“We should get to studying,” you said, breezing past him, your hand brushing his bicep as you did. He sucked in a breath, his entire body feeling electrocuted after that one touch. He wondered how you seemed so normal, laying out your books and papers on the floor beside his bed. 

This was gonna be a long night. 

He cleared his throat and moved to sit across from you, hoping he didn’t look as flushed as he felt. 

After a few moments of him watching you get settled, you heard him start laughing. Looking up you asked, “What’s so funny?”

That only made him laugh harder. “Just thinking about how scared you got before. Did you really not see him?”

You felt your face go hot. “I didn’t! I had no clue he was there, and next thing I know he’s making lawn mower nosies!”

Peter was red in the face now. “The way you flew back,” he said between fits of laughter, “I thought you’d give yourself whiplash.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled at him, picking up one of your pens and throwing it at him. It bounced off without him even flinching. 

You looked down, avoiding his gaze by busying yourself with your papers. 

“Okay I’m ready to be serious now,” he said. The laughter was gone but amusement twinkled in his voice. 

“Great! Welcome back Pete, now hand me that pen, I’m gonna need it.”

Two hours later, you were both sprawled across the floor tossing Chess-Its at one another. 

“Come on!” You threw your arms up in defeat when you threw another cracker at him just for him to catch it again. 

Peter chuckled, “Sorry angel, I’ve just got killer reflexes.”

“Alright whatever,” You rolled your eyes. “Come on, throw some at me.”

You opened your mouth, ready to finally win one round of this nonsense…just for a Cheez-It to hit your cheek and fall to the ground with the rest of your tries. 

Peter laughed while you sat up, reached to grab the box of crackers, and poured some into your hand before putting it back down. 

“Okay, I’m done. I actually want to eat them now.” You said, munching on a cracker and sitting against the side of his bed. 

“Oh come on, don’t be a quitter Y/N/N,” he grinned, leaning over and pinching your cheek. 

You swatted his hand away with your empty one. “M’not.”

He smiled at you before sitting up. “Hit me,” he said, opening his mouth and pointing at it. 

You grabbed a Cheez-It from the palm of your hand and made a big show of trying to get your aim right. Squinting one eye, you stared at him, moving your hand back and forth before tossing it slightly more to the right. On purpose. 

That didn’t stop him from leaning over and catching it in his mouth. 

“I don’t like this game,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“Don’t act like I don’t know what you did,” he said back, munching on his Cheez-it. 

“Sue me,” you told him, brushing him off with a wave of your hand. 

He laughed before he settled down. “How’s your hand feeling by the way.” His voice was considerably softer now, making you smile softly at him. 

“It’s doing great, thank you again, Peter. I would’ve been totally fucked if it weren’t for you,” you told him honestly. 

He shook his head, “Don’t thank me at all Y/N. Hate seeing you hurt,” he mumbled, less to you and more to himself and he stayed staring at your wrapped-up hand. 

“Well don’t worry about that, it doesn’t hurt at all.”

“Yeah?” He looked at you suddenly, like he needed to know you meant it. 

“Yeah,” you nodded at him. 

“That’s good,” he breathed out and your heart squeezed at how much he seemed to care. 

“What's your plan? Y’know, for after school?” You didn’t want to leave just yet, even with your studying done. And you wanted to know more about him. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t taken a certain liking to him lately. 

“Well after I get my degree, I’m going move up a little further in Stark Industries. I’m still undecided on grad school, I think I’ve got everything I need and I’m probably just gonna start saving up to pay off student loans instead of adding on them.”

You nodded at him, “So the Stark internship is going well? No offense, I sort of thought you were their coffee mule.” You grinned at him before popping a Cheez-It in your mouth. 

He scoffed, “No, I’m not. I mean, it did take a while to get them to take me seriously, but I got there!”

You laughed, “Well, very proud of you Pete. That’s super impressive.”

He grinned at you, his face heating up at your words. He wondered if you knew how much it affected him every time you called him Pete. Probably not, but he never wanted you to stop. 

You two stayed like that for another hour or so, time passing by without you noticing at all. You talked about your futures, where you say yourselves after school, and after that. Your admiration for him only grew as you got to know him more. You could talk to him all night and never get bored honestly, you-

Shit. 

A random notification lit up your phone, which lay beside you on the floor, making you take notice of the time. 

You sat up quickly, spitting out curses as you started gathering your belongings and shoving them into your bag. 

Peter sat up as well, helping you get your things together but in a calmer manner than yourself. 

“Relax Y/N,” he said in a soothing voice. 

“Pete I can’t do it.” You turned to him suddenly, dropping everything in your hands. 

“Do what, angel?”

“The exam is tomorrow. I’m not ready! I’m gonna fail, and that one grade, that one stupid grade, is gonna hold me back and ruin everything-”

“Sweetheart look at me,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder. His grip was warm and reassuring. “You are not going to fail. And I know this because I’ve spent the last few hours studying with you, and I saw how smart you are, and how quick you caught on. You’re gonna walk in there tomorrow and ace that test, I know you are!

“And if for some reason you don’t,” he continued, “you gave it your best. You tried your hardest and you learned something, which is all that matters in the end. So breathe, stop stressing, and let me walk you home.”

“All that talk as an excuse to ask to take me home?” You snorted, “Peter you shouldn’t have.” Despite your jokes, you took his advice and took a deep breath. He was right, you’d studied your hardest, both with and without his help. All you could do was take the exam and hope for the best now.

He laughed and stood up, holding out a hand once he saw you all packed and ready. “Caught me. So is that a yes?”

You took his hand and pulled yourself up but didn’t let go right away. “If I fail, do we have to stop hanging out? Y’know, with you being a science prodigy and all.”

He laughed again and placed both his hands on your shoulder, staring straight into your eyes. “Never.”

“Ok, well, just making sure. I wouldn’t wanna give you a bad rep in the science community or something-”

You were suddenly cut off from your babbling when he pressed his lips to yours. You froze for a second, unsure what to do, but it didn’t take long for you to catch up and kiss him back. 

He pulled away after a few moments, “Done with the jokes?” His voice was soft and teasing.

“Uh huh,” you mumbled, eyes still closed. “But I think you might need to do that again, just to be sure.”

He chuckled murmuring something that sounded like ‘too cute’ but you couldn’t be bothered to hear when you felt his lips on yours again, this time, expecting them. 

You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and canting your head slightly for better access. He groaned, one arm wrapping around your middle, the other settling on your waist.

You might have pictured kissing him before, just maybe. But none of your daydreaming could’ve prepared you for the real thing. The way his bottom lip covered your top one, the soft breaths exchanged between the two of you, the way he pressed himself further into you when you tugged his hair a little harder. This definitely beat all of your daydreams. 

You could’ve stayed that way forever, and you probably would’ve if Peter hadn’t taken one for the team and pulled away first. 

Or tried to, at least. 

“We should-” kiss. 

“You-” kiss. 

“I need to walk,” kiss, “-you home angel.” He murmured against your lips.

“Okay,” you whispered back but you didn’t move to pull away, and he didn’t push you. The two of you stayed stuck, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, taking in the atmosphere of each other. 

“I should probably go now,” you said softly. Peter hummed in agreement, leaning in to peck your lips gently. 

“It’s getting late,” but your voice is more of a sigh. You don’t know what he’s laced his lips with but each kiss makes you weak in the knees and woozier than the last one.

“God, d’yknow I’ve had the biggest crush on you.” He said, completely disregarding your previous statement. 

That stops you. “What?” You asked him in disbelief. Peter had a crush on you? No way, you would’ve known. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled lightly, “don’t act so shocked. I was always a stuttering mess at work whenever you so much as looked at me.”

True. But you’d just thought he was a bit more on the shy side. 

“I’d seen you around campus before and I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen, and I still do, but I thought I had no shot in hell with you. And when I got the job at the cafe and saw I’d be working with you? I almost lost my fucking mind sweetheart.” You both laughed a little and you couldn’t help the way your cheeks flamed up because of his words. Did he have any clue what he was doing to you right now?

“So I just sorta kept my distance, y’know? Admired you from afar ‘cause I was too scared you’d reject me. Sadly, it only took you nearly burning your hand off,” he gave you a look and you burst into giggles, him doing you and slightly pinching your waist, “for me to get over myself and actually keep up a conversation with you. But now I’ve got you in my room, kissing me.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, “lucky you.” You joked as leaned in to press another kiss to his lips. 

“Lucky me indeed,” he murmured before pulling you in even deeper. He dipped you, making you squeal into the kiss. Then he pulled you up, unable to keep the kiss going any longer with how hard he was grinning.

“Oh my god,” you said, laughing breathlessly. 

“A lot more where that came from,” he smirked at you. 

“You know,” you moved to pick up your bag, “for someone who was so scared to talk to me for so long, you sure found the confidence now.”

“What can I say? You make it easy. Once I started I couldn’t stop.” You smiled at him as he gently placed a hand on your arm leading you to the door. The living room was empty now, no one to be found on the couch or otherwise and you wondered where their cat had wandered off to.

You bent over to put on your shoes, Peter doing the same. He stepped forward and opened the door for you, letting you step out before following you and locking the door. 

As soon as he was done with that, you reached over and grabbed his hand. “Hey Petey?” You said lightly. Oh, he was going to melt. From now on, he only wanted you to call him that.

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you finally decided to talk to me.” 

He leaned down and kissed the top of your head. “Yeah? Me too angel.”

The next morning, you awoke in the brightest mood, considering you had a chemistry exam later that day. All you could think about was Peter. You were going to see him later at the cafe and you couldn’t wait. 

You leaned over in bed to pick up your phone. Speak of the devil. 

GOOD MORNINGGGGG❤️

hope you slept well angel, can’t wait to see you today. and you’re gonna totally ace that exam!🥰

seriously you’re going to kick chemistry’s butt

A huge smile bloomed on your face, almost hurting from how wide it was. Usually, you'd stay in bed for a while, scrolling through Instagram or just going through messages or something. Not today, you couldn’t wait to get to work. Maybe Peter was a good influence on you. 

After getting ready for the day, you made your way to the cafe with a little bounce in your steps. The bell jingled above you as you opened the door and for the first time since you’d started working together, Peter was here before you. 

“Hey,” he smiled, holding up your usual drink order and waving it at you. 

“Hi Pete,” you approached his, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. As you pulled away, you could see how quickly his cheeks pinked, making you grin. 

“No ‘Petey’?”

“Didn’t know you had a preference,” you said, grabbing his hand and pulling it towards you as you took a sip from the drink and then moved to get dressed for your shift. 

“Yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck, wishing he could feel your hand on his for just a little longer, “neither did I.”

You laughed lightly as you tied your apron, the sound hitting him like the greatest melody in the world. 

“Okay then,” you walked towards him, stopping right in front of him, “let’s start over. Hi Petey.”

“Hi angel,” he gave you a dopey grin and you returned it. 

“Great, now that we’ve got that figured out.” You patted his chest lightly before taking the drink from his hands and moving away. 

“Hey wait! Where’s my kiss?” He pouted at you and he looked so adorable, you just wanted to pinch his cheeks and kiss him till he begged you to stop.

“We’re at work, we’ve gotta be professional.” You said matter-of-factly. 

He rolled his eyes, leaned against the counter, and crossed his arms. “Professional my ass, no one is even in here-,”

Before he could even close his mouth, the bell jingled, and in stepped a boy about your age. The boy moved to one of the chairs, not moving to order just yet, giving you the chance to smirk at Peter, who just rolled his eyes again. 

“What do you he’s gonna order,” he asked you.

“Hmm…a cookie, probably.” You moved lean against the counter across from him and took a sip of your drink as you smiled. 

“Hey wait, you never told me what your drink order is.”

“Hmm…” he hummed in consideration before he moved towards you, grabbing your hand with the drink and bringing it up to his lips to steal a sip, maintaining eye contact the whole time. 

“I’ve got to say,” he said in a low voice, “this one has really grown on me.”

You couldn’t look away, all you could do was stare. And stare, and stare, and stare…

A stranger’s voice, and then, “Hey, can I get one of those double chocolate chip cookies?”

You were just on cloud nine today. 

You had taken your exam and for the first time ever in that class, you had felt confident in your work. 

And to top it all off, after you’d handed in your paper and packed your things to leave, Professor Hall had given you a ‘well done’ nod. You! He’d never noticed you positively before. You were going to need to drown Peter in thank-you kisses for his help. 

Speaking of Peter, you couldn’t wait to see him. He told you he’d be waiting for you after your class but when you stepped outside, there was no sign of him. You decided to sit on the building steps and wait. He was probably just running a little late, no biggie. 

Big biggie. After 40 minutes of waiting for him, during which you’d sent him a little text and he hadn’t responded, you decided to head over to his place. 

The walk was short and your little buzz had worn off after not getting to share it with Peter. After all, you kind of owed him most of the credit. You arrived at his apartment door, and when you knocked, it wasn't Peter who answered. 

It's Freddy. 

You throw on a smile. “Hi Freddy, is Peter home?”

He returned your smile as he said, “‘Sup Y/N.” He held out his fist and you stared at it for a while before you got the hint and bumped it with your own. “Pete’s not home right now, but you can totally come in and wait for him.”

You found it funny that someone who didn’t live there was inviting you in to stay, but you accepted anyway. You also had no clue how he knew your name. 

You knew little about Freddy, but you knew he was sort of a campus celebrity. Every raging party there was, everyone knew Freddy was behind it. 

“So,” you said as you walked in, “what year are you in Freddy?”

“Ah nah, I’m done with that shit. I took the bar,” he said casually, waving a hand and moving to sit on the couch. He kicked his feet up on the large Amazon box being used as a coffee table and picked up the open beer sitting atop it. 

You stood in your place, clutching your bag. He was in grad school?

“Oh that’s awesome dude, did you not pass or something.”

“Uh uh,” he shook his head, taking a swig of beer, “got a 350.”

Your eyes widened. What. You didn’t know much about law school but you knew getting a score like that on the bar was not an easy thing. 

“Wait when’d you take it?” You asked confused. The bar exam wasn’t scheduled for a few months from now. 

“Last year.”

“Do you like…work at a firm or something?” It was insane to you that the party animal of this school had already graduated, and with an amazing score nonetheless. 

He shook his head, “Workin' on my music right now, and if that doesn’t work out,” he gave you a wicked grin, “well I’ve always got my law degree.”

You nodded, stunned. “That’s sick dude. Good luck,” you told him, waving as you moved to wait in Peter’s room. 

“Keep the door cracked kids,” he shouted towards you and you huffed a laugh as you entered the room and closed the door (leaving it open just an inch) before you sat at the foot of his bed. 

You looked around for a second, taking it all in. It’s amazing how he managed to take this small space and make it so him. 

After a few moments, you took out your phone to shoot him another text. 

But before you could finish typing it out, the window beside you started opening and you watched as the Spider-Man fell onto the bed, not noticing you gaping right next to him. 

You stayed silent, unsure of what to do or say until he moved to take his mask off. That got you moving and talking. 

“Holy fuck!” You basically shout, moving away, hands flying to your mouth. 

He seemed to be just as shocked as you were because he scrambled up from his lying position. And staring back at you was Peter Parker. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked you, eyes wide. It wasn’t till then that you noticed the paleness of his features, his face lacking that usually healthy glow it held, the waver in his voice, and the hand clutching his bloody side. 

“Holy fuck,” you repeated, voice lower, and for a whole different reason this time. “Shit Peter, you’re hurt.” You moved closer to him, temporarily forgetting everything else as your hand reached to gently remove his so you could take in the extent of his injuries. 

“It’s nothing,” he said but made no move to shove you away or stop you. You moved his hand and winced at the sight that greeted you, “Looks like a whole lot more than nothing babe.”

“I’ve had worse.”

You look up at him, frowning slightly, “Not exactly reassuring Petey.”

“I feel all better now,” he said, shooting you a charming grin as soon as he heard the nickname leave your mouth. “Add a kiss in the mix, and I’ll be good as new.”

You huffed a laugh, shoving his knee slightly, “Shut up Peter. I’m serious. I’m sure you’ve got some experience with stuff like this,” you wave a hand towards his suit and injury for emphasis and he gives you a quick nod. 

“Over there,” he pointed toward his dresser, “top shelf, under the blue sweater.”

You rushed over there, opening the drawer and spotting the sweater he mentioned. “I’m totally stealing that from you someday, this is your heads up,” you told him as you grabbed the large box and completely closed the door before you moved back to his side. 

“You can have anything of mine, Angel. I’m sure you’d look better in it anyway.” His words made you blush, but you tried to ignore them so you could focus on the task at hand. 

Peter, however, found that he really liked watching your cheeks pink up. And he wanted more. 

“Lean against the headboard, now.” You said, trying to be serious again. 

“God, at least buy me dinner first sweetheart.” He gave you the dorkiest smirk you’d ever seen. You just glared at him. “On the other hand,” he said as he moved backward to lean against his headboard, “I don’t need dinner, I’m all yours baby girl.”

This got you to laugh, “Peter, be serious! You’re bleeding out!” You moved to his side, “take this off by the way.” You gestured to his suit. 

He hit the middle emblem of a spider and you watched as it loosened up and fell off his shoulders. You had started pulling it the rest of the way down, gulping when you realized he wasn’t wearing anything else, when he mumbled, “Not a terrible way to go.”

You refused to look up and meet his eyes but he knew he got you. Thank god he was wearing underwear, you realized, and you threw the suit to the side after you’d completely shredded him of it. He was definitely going to need a new one. 

Now completely facing the damage, your stomach churned, and you were hit with the hard truth. “I…I don’t know what to do,” you whispered to him. You wanted to help him, more than anything. This man who’s been risking his life, probably since he was a teenager you realized, as you did the math silently in your head, was hurt and right in front of you, needing your help. And you needed to help him, but you didn’t know the first thing about how to approach a situation like this. You were surprised you could stare at the wound for so long. 

“Don’t worry, I can do it,” he said gently, his bloody hand reaching for the huge first aid kit. 

“No!” You rushed out, grabbing his hand to stop him, “No way am I letting you do that! Just…just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.

Feeling more confident, you grabbed the kit and opened it. Shock coursed you as you realized just how much he went through and your confidence fell right back down where it sprouted from. The bag was full of all the medical tools and supplies you could think of, most of them completely foreign to you, and you realized how privileged you must be to not recognize any of these things. You can’t imagine the ‘worse’ he talked about having earlier. This must be those accidents he was talking about.

“I don’t usually have to use them,” his voice was soft, almost like he was reassuring you, “usually just water and a towel does the trick. Maybe a little numbing cream. And these,” he looked down at his wounds, “some bandages, sure, but I won’t need stitches or anything.”

You let out a breath of relief, you weren’t sure you could’ve handled that. You didn’t trust yourself.

“Okay,” you said, grabbing some wipes. You were going to do this. Based on what he’d told you, he was always stitching himself back up, just to hit the streets again the next day. This time, though, was different. This time you were here to help him, and you weren’t going chicken out of this. Even a little help was better than nothing at all. 

You started slowly, cleaning around his wounds so you could bandage them properly. “You sure you’re okay with this?” He asked you gently. “I totally understand if you need me to do it, angel, it’s a lot if you’re not used to it.”

“No,” you shook your head, your voice steady, “No way. It’s my turn to fix you up.” You told him, looking up to meet his eyes and smiling at him. 

He returned it and you went back to work. 

“So….Spider-Man, huh?” You peeked up quickly in question. 

“Yeah,” he took a deep breath, “it’s a long story. Basically, I was bit by some spider, that shit was powerful,” you laughed a little, making him smile. “And I got some. Of its powers I mean.”

“So you get bit by a spider, that spider gives you powers, and you decide to become a New York vigilante?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” he nodded, and you laughed again. 

“You’re a hell of a guy Peter Parker.” You said, shaking your head slightly. 

“Thank you, I try,” he smirked at you and you laughed again. 

“Okay,” you said, pulling away from his side. He almost whined in protest. Honestly, he wasn’t feeling any pain, not since you’d started worrying about him, and insisting you help him. Peter wasn’t used to that, he was always alone when it came to this part of the job. He’d never minded that before, just one of the things he had to deal with as a superhero, but now that someone else was taking care of him…it felt nice. Really nice. Especially when it was you. 

“Peter?” You looked at him questioningly. Shit. You’d asked him something.  

“Huh? I'm sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He said with wide eyes. He’d gotten too wrapped up in the feeling of being taken care of, not that anyone could blame him though, the girl he’d been crushing on forever was here, in his room, helping bandage him up! It's more than he could’ve dreamed of. 

“It’s okay sweetie,” you said, waving him off assuming he was in pain or something. Really, now he had something new to obsess over. Sweetie? While he was practically naked (albeit injured, but he wasn’t thinking of that right now) in bed with you? God, he could just melt.

“I was just wondering which bandages,” you said, holding up the different ones you’d found in his bag. 

“Oh,” he said lamely, “these ones.” He grabbed a few from you and opened them. 

“Look,” he said, leaning over himself to see his wounds properly, “you’ve got to bring together both sides of the wound, then secure the bandage so that it’s holding it closed.” He talked as he placed the first bandage with you watching and listening with intent. 

“Okay, I think I’ve got it,” you said as you took the rest of the bandages from him. You steadied yourself, straddling his thigh as you started placing the bandages down his wound. The biggest gash took about five, your elbow resting on his abdomen as you got lower…and lower. 

Conveniently, you missed the quiver in his breath, too focused on the work at hand, but you didn’t miss the small gasp he let out when your forearm reached right between his thighs. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You said as you pulled away quickly, thinking you’d hurt him. “Did I pinch too hard?”

“No, no angel, you’re fine. Doing a great job actually.” He replied, trying to collect himself. He could not let himself think of that right now. There were more important things at hand. 

“You sure?” You asked him, not looking convinced.

“Positive.” He replied, grabbing your arm and pulling you back in (but making sure to keep you at a healthy distance from his dick). 

You added a few more bandages, most of the cuts only needing one or two, before pulling away again to rummage through his bag. “What do you use on your bruises?”

“This one,” he said, leaning over you and grabbing a tube from the kit. You turned, your lips almost brushing over each other with how close you were. 

“Hi,” you whispered, all thoughts completely flying out of your head as you realized just how badly you wanted to kiss him. 

“Hi angel,” he said smiling softly at you. 

Seeing you debate it in your head, Peter decided it would be easier for the both of you if he did it first. Leaning in, he closed the distance and smoothly took your lips in his. You melted into the kiss right away, feeling like you’d been craving this your whole life when really, you’d just kissed his a few hours ago before you’d left work. 

Your hands were on his bare chest, you could feel every muscle, every move when-

“Wait, you’re hurt!” You pulled away, leaving a pouting Peter in your wake. 

“My lips work just fine angel,” he said, trying to steal another kiss while you tried to avoid him. 

“But..let me finish at least,” you mumbled against his lips, barely getting a chance to pull away after he’d caught you. 

“You can finish, just lemme do this first,” he responded before kissing you again.

“Hey,” you mumbled against his lips. 

He hummed in response, moving to kiss your cheek, your jawline. If he kept this up you might not try to stop him. 

“Did you know Freddy took the bar exam? And passed?”

That got him to pull away. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking at you confusedly, “I’m kissing you and you decide this a good time to bring up Freddy?”

“Well, y’know,” you shrugged, “figured it was as good a time as any.”

He scoffed, “Unbelievable.”

You giggled, “I win.” You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, pulling away before he could catch you and turn it into more.

“Now lay down, lemme do this,” you said waving the cream at him. 

He moved grumpily and you thought grumpy Peter was the cutest thing ever. The furrow of his brows, the slight pout of his lips. You could just kiss him. And you would’ve if you hadn’t known where it would lead you. 

You unscrewed the cap to the cream and started applying it gently. “So Fred’s a lawyer huh?” Peter spoke up. 

“He is!” You whispered excitedly, glad he was just as shocked as you were. 

“And you learned this how?” He asked, giving you a look. 

You shrugged. “He let me in and I talked to him, asked him a few questions to get to know him better since I see him everywhere.” 

“Wait, he’s here right now?”

“Yeah,” you said slowly, “I thought you knew?”

“No I didn’t-,” he let out a sigh, “whatever it's basically his apartment too at this point I guess.”

You laughed, “And you’re okay with that?”

He shrugged with his good side. “He buys the good beer.”

You laughed again. “He scored a 350 on the bar exam!”

Peter’s brows shot up. “Oh shit.”

“I know! The only thing I knew about him was that he blacked out in that frat house’s pool all night and the cops were called cause someone thought he was dead.”

“Yeah, he’s super lucky he was on his back. Just floated around the pool like a leaf.”

You shook your head, screwing the cap back on the tube of cream, “Crazy. But anyway, I’m done. And on the plus side,” you grinned at him, “if you ever get in legal trouble, you know someone!”

He laughed out loud, and you watched as his face scrunched up and he clutched his side in pain. Apologizing for the joke, you gave him a kiss on the cheek to make up for it. 

“Enough about crazy Freddy,” he let out a sigh, “I’m gonna go put some clothes on, and then I wanna cuddle with my girl.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words and all you could do was smile as he stood up, giving you a kiss on the side of your head before he moved to pick out some clothes.

You watched him get dressed, biting your lip as you watched how his muscles rippled with each of his movements. You always knew he was strong but seeing him like that, was a completely different story. 

“Like what you see?” He asked, smirking at you before he lifted his shirt, holding it up between his teeth as he tied his sweatpants. 

Your mouth fell open. At being caught and also at…how absolutely hot he looked right now. If he wasn’t injured, you would be all. over. him. 

“S’alright angel,” he said as he stalked towards you. He was enjoying this, a lot. “I’m sure I’d be the same if the roles were reversed.”

That did not help. Now you were thinking about being naked in front of Peter and-

He laughed, kissed the side of your head again, and laid down, pulling next to him. 

“Careful Peter, you’re still hurt!” You chastised him. 

He shook his head, “You made me feel a hundred times better. Thank you, angel.”

“Of course Petey.” He smiled at you as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tight. 

“So, you came to see me right? Y’know, before the whole finding out I’m Spider-Man thing. What’s up?”

“Oh I almost forgot,” you perked up, tilting your head up so you could see his face, “I think I totally aced that chemistry exam!”

“Angel! I’m so proud of you!” He started attacking you with kisses, kissing you anywhere his lips could reach. 

You giggled, “Thank you sweetie, but seriously I owe you most of the credit, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Nonsense,” he shook his head, “that was all you. I barely helped, you learned everything and then took that quiz, and aced it.”

“Well I haven’t gotten my grade back yet, I just have a really good feeling, so don’t sound too are there's a chance I didn’t do as well as I thought.”

“Nope,” he said, popping the p. “I have a sense, a spidey sense. And my spidey sense is telling me that you totally aced that thing. No questions asked.”

You laughed loudly. “Spidey sense?”

“No questions,” he repeated as he nuzzled his nose into your hair. 

“Fine then,” you snuggled up further into him. “No questions.”

[cheriladycl01]

Surrounded by Ice - Kimi Raikkonen x FigureSkater! Reader

Plot: The Iceman just surrounds himself with Ice in every aspect of his life

A/N: Just a short little Kimi drabble, more exciting stuff coming soon, just been swamped with Uni!

Credit to summerblueringo for the GIF

"How does it feel to bring home a gold medal for your country, again?" the interviewer asks and a big grin appears on your face.

"I mean, i love the sport and I've worked hard to get where I am. I think this year there were many other contestants who also deserved gold and everyone who took part today were amazing!" you keep smiling, it had been a really amazing set for you today. You'd even broke some records while here.

"And now what is your plan?" they ask holding the mic closer to you.

"Well my husband is waiting for me, just over there. So i think he wants to give me his congratulations" you say pointing out our stoic looking husband who was waiting in the background, keeping to himself watching the world go past.

"Ah yes, Kimi Raikkonen! The Ice Man, who arguably married Queen of the Ice" he jokes making you laugh a little. You had heard similar jokes many times since you'd married Kimi.

"Yes, obviously being here in South Korea for the Winter Olympics has been amazing, and I'll be sure to train hard for 2022 but now I'm needed to go support my lovely lovely husband in his fast cars" you exclaim, knowing that the Australian Grand Prix was round the corner.

"Ah yes, it's looking like a good season for Ferrari! And we can tell from your outfit today they already have your support"

"My support is for whatever team my husband is in, so Ferrari have had my support since Kimi has raced with them!"

You left the interview thanking your team before finding Kimi waiting for you quietly.

"Home?" you ask and he nods silently grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the arena.

"You were fantastic today!" he smiles, holding you and pulling you into a kiss.

"Yeah? You liked the new twist i did?" you ask, your routine today being one of the hardest you'd ever done. You mascara had infact started to run, from the sweat building on your forehead throughout the day.

"I like everything you do"

You guys both went back to the hotel, packing up all of your gear that had been here for the past month you'd stayed in Korea for. Once you were sure you hadn't left anything behind you made your way to the airport.

Kimi now only had a month until Australia, his personal trainer had come with you to Korea to help him train while he was out there supporting you.

Now, you'd train while you were travelling with Kimi. Finding ice while on the road with him was always difficult, but finding places to just work out and keep your fitness up was never hard as you'd train alongside Kimi. It was one of the ways to spend extra time with him during the season when he was most busy.

In the free month before Australia you started your research on where you could go in Melbourne to skate, you found somewhere that Kimi was happy with you going too as it wasn't too far from the hotel you'd be staying in or the race track for if anything went wrong.

"Will you watch me on the Sunday though?" he'd asked you as you were both lying in bed the night before you were due to fly to Australia.

"When have I ever not?" you ask, turning over in bed to look at him.

"Hmmm, I can for sure think of one time..." he smirks looking over you.

"If your talking about China, almost 10 years ago that doesn't even count!" you laugh, poking his cheek a little.

Your husband never failed to amaze you, his striking blue eyes and his soft blonde hair was what initially drew you in. But it was your first interaction with him that made you fall for him fully.

It was the Autumn of 2008 and you were 22 and you had just won your second Gold Medal in China, you'd stayed there for the months after the games as they left the Beijing Olympic Park open and it seemed like a good place to stay and to train.

You managed to get tickets to other sporting events in the months you stayed there such as Snow Boarding, Golf but the best one was when the Chinese Grand Prix came about.

You were active on the socials you had back then, and so it wasn't hard for Sauber BMW to reach out to you and give you a guest pass.

You'd been walking round the paddock, just investigating when you'd bumped right into the Finnish Ferrari driver. He had just stared at you while holding a tight grip on your wrist so you didn't fall over.

You remember him asking if you were okay, and some other questions that you hadn't heard fully as your brain had gone foggy at the sound of his soft, yet deep voice.

It was a little embarrassing, when he'd tried to speak Finnish to you, and then decided on English, but with no reply he was left stumped and awkwardly standing there.

He'd soon left after that but you were on each other's minds for the whole day. You tried to keep up conversations with the BMW drivers Robert and Nick but your mind kept drifting the the Finnish Driver for Ferrari.

He found you after the race, and just stared at you for a while before you made the first move speaking to him. And the rest was history.

You spent the next 5 years together as partners, it was convenient for someone like Kimi who raced all through the year apart from summer and winter to end up with someone in a sport who only competed for a month in the summer and winter. It meant that they also still got a break with each other.

After 5 years, Kimi let the big question unload and now you'd been married for 5 years.

"Of course, my love! You know that!" you smile, pulling him closer to you. You tuck yourself into his surprisingly warm embrace, considering his nickname was 'Iceman' he was the warmest person you'd ever had the privilege of meeting.

"I was thinking ..." he breathes, his voice a little higher and whiny than normal.

"Mmmmm, you don't do that often?" you tease, a hand running up and down his back.

"Well, I'm the ice man, your the Ice Queen... i was thinking maybe it's time we have an Ice Baby?" he whispers in the softest most unsure tone you'd ever heard.

"You think now's a good time?" you ask, and thinking about it... it was. You yourself had two years before the next Olympics in 2020, and Kimi was at a point in his career where he could leave and live comfortably if he needed and wanted to.

"I haven't told you this, but they want the Sauber kid in my spot. I'll be going to Alpha Romeo next year. I feel like I've done what i can and I've had my time in the sport... and we aren't getting any younger. Especially me..." he jokes, being 44 now.

"Mmmmmm I think now is the perfect time" you smile.

Flash forward to the Austin Grand Prix and you were 6 months pregnant. You'd already announced it and so many people were excited for you and Kimi, through the season he had loads of interviews. All against his will of course but people saw a different side to him when he talked about you and the soon to be baby.

It was a great race for Kimi in Austin, he pulled through with his first win of the season, valuable points that helped contribute towards his position in the drivers standings.

"So Kimi, first win of the season today! How are you feeling?" an interviewer asks, he was sat in a panel with some of the other drivers in a debrief.

"It was good to get a win, this season has been tough. We've had an interesting year with veteran drivers like myself, Seb, Fernando and Lewis being pushed by newer or younger drivers who are proving to be good competition like Charles, Max and Pierre" he answers.

"There have been rumors that you wont be here with us next season?" he pushes and Kimi roles his eyes.

"If I'm not it's not an issue... racing is my hobby that i get paid to do. I'll leave when i want to" he admits without letting anything slip that Ferrari wouldn't want to come public knowledge.

"Lets move on to you Lewis..."

And for the rest of the interview all he could think of was coming back to you.

Once your daughter was born in January before the start of the 2019 season and Kimi moving to Alfa Romeo everyone on the grid wanted to meet her. So of course, you were obligated to come to Australia for pre-season testing. Your 3 month old being so intrigued at the busy rush of everything around her.

She was a fan and driver fav around. Everyone had a picture with her and introduced themselves as her uncle and that they would look after her. People like Lewis, Seb and Charles all came with little gifts for her, Seb even had someone make her a custom team Ferrari top so she could fit in with her father and her Uncle Sebastian.

"Today was amazing!" you sighed as you leaned into your husband who currently held your daughter against his bare chest.

"Mmmm, I think you should both take a break though, at least until Summer break and join me afterwards" he smiles, knowing that the heavy time change from Monaco to Australia wasn't good for your or the baby.

"Well, I may as well come to Bahrain with you... its on the way back. But I will leave after that" you smile, pulling him in for a kiss.

"I love you, thank you for giving me this life" he smiles looking between you and his daughter.

"I wouldn't have it any of way" you grin.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @lazybot @malynn @cassielikereading @viennakarma @teamnovalak @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @jlb20416

[mozzaicynth]

one thought everyday and its just the amazing world of gumball especially these three freaks (doodles + some headcanons below :3)

mr small -

my interpretation of small becoming more mellowed out in the future seasons as opposed to season 1 is him managing his anger in a more healthier way (meditation, etc) (plus i think all those herbal infusions are incredibly effective on the nerves) . that being said i think he still has underlying anger issues and lashes out if prompted too much . another reason hes nicer and more of a pushover in the later seasons is because i like to think hes guilty of his plethora of outbursts earlier on, especially towards students (unwarranted shouting which as a school counsellor he should know is pretty harmful on younger kids) . the fact that he tries to offer his help when its absolutely not needed so many times later on in the show further makes me like to think he’s making up for it all

hes also so autistic to me hes on the spectrum you cant tell me otherwise and i think hes pretty awkward and considered strange by the whole town (which is saying a lot for elmore standards) . still super friendly and approachable but he also cant take hints and he definitely stims (and has special interests, alternative medicine are you kidding)

his music taste i love to think is all over the place … i get the general consensus is he listens to mystic chants and sitar music but he definitely listens to more, ranging from pop to indie to rock to metal (this may or may not have become an idea when i was listening to ‘darts by soad and associated it with him,) . also what with his stupid little self funded album that is such a jarring listen ‘cause of all the ridiculous genre changes

i think he crochets/macrames as a hobby along with other diy stuff (most of the decorative items in his home crafted by him) making him, surprisingly considering how incompetent he is sometimes, super crafty/handy .

larry -

larry is a great person: incredibly intelligent, he’s very knowledgable on a plethora of subjects and he has a big heart, holding little to no virtriol against the people of elmore (except the wattersons but that is SO warranted) . thus i like to imagine he did great in school, moved on to do so wonderfully in uni whilst juggling jobs and his studies but after graduation was left stuck (alike so many people nowadays) . neither small or larry came from well off families but i think for larry he didn’t have much of a support system anyway so currently he overworks and works and works just to catch up on the student debt whilst simultaneously paying his taxes (i still think about that episode all the time fuck the police . big pink son of a bitch), loans and not to mention the bare minimum to keep himself alive

he’s a very sweet and kind person but anyone under the immense stress that he’s under would be irritable and temperate (he deserves to be more angry imo) and i whilst he has so many jobs he always aims to excel at all of them, having an incredibly particular way that tasks must be done and having them organised . because of this, he can be a lot more temperate when interacting with coworkers, especially those who don’t do their job as well, having to take matters into his own hands . as he and karen (his girlfriend throughout the series) share some jobs it puts a strain on their relationship (which was built off of the mutual ‘having several jobs’) and they break up .

even so, though larry consistently tries to propose to her in the show, in “the laziest” he doesn’t seem to be happy nor comfortable at all with the prospects of marrying her . in fact, even when he’s achieved the ‘american dream’ (properties like a house and car and a family (his girlfriend soon to be wife)) he’s unhappy . personally i don’t think he knows what he wants to do with himself ; he works all day and night and has little to no time for himself to even think in peace that the only purpose he knows is work .

i like to think he used to be an artist; self taught, it was a hobby and an enjoyment but his studies and his work took over so his one form of self expression was squeezed out of his life .. (i like making their lives as bleak as possible soz ! 🙏) he still admires the arts and i think that’s another reason he likes steve so much; his handcrafts and mini projects .

steve and larry are two opposites that are similar in ways .. but i love their dynamic so much . my interpretation of them is that steve will help larry balance out his life slightly better to leave room for himself instead of working 24/7 . steve has his head in the clouds and larry grounds him, and larry is so stuck in his ways with work that steve pulls him out of it slightly, lifting him up a little higher (AUGHHHGHH I HATE THEM I HATE THEM

as for their relationship with rob, im very much a stevelmeyer adoption truther !! both larry and steve coming from dysfunctional families, they aim to help rob and take care of him to the best of their abilities . further, larry taking on taking care of rob gives him direction in his life again . 😁😁😁😁😁😁

this isnt gonna be the last post headcanon/idea wise i still think of them 24/7 but heres jus SOME things .. (im such a yapper sprry not sorry !) :3c

[entropicbias]

Do u have any johndave hcs youd care to share? Literally anything that comes to mind (height hcs, habits in their coexistence, what kind of food they usually make/eat/order, general opinions towards each others family... just throwing a few out there to get thoughts flowing). I am v intrigued about ur vision for them, ur domestic sketches feel like they have a lot of thought (or at least general vibes) behind them

when i draw john and dave sometimes, i have this very specific universe they live in planned out in my head. most of this is self projecting with me and my own best friend, but i'd be really happy to share anyways!

these are my headcanons for them physically. i am really not sure what race john should be. i always say he's "mystery asian" but honestly, i dunno. dave, to me, is embarrassingly white.

here are two pinterest boards i just made to try and explain their sense of style and their "vibes". i'm sorry if this is shit. i'm no experienced pinterest board creator. dave's board john's board

and on top of that, here are two playlists that highlight what kind of music i think they'd listen to. dave's playlist john's playlist i think john's taste in music is just stuff he's picked up from other people, and movies. dave actually goes out and finds new music he'd like to listen to. john would be the type of person to have 4 songs in a playlist and hit smart shuffle on them. i think john's favorite food is lasagna/burgers and dave's favorite food is spicy chicken wings. but since dave doesn't know how to cook and john is busy most of the time, they'd order takeout frequently. i think john and dave would both be smokers, one more casually than the other one. here is a minecraft house i built for them: https://youtu.be/bXCzLp-S99Y?si=mebaL3FDafxrPt-I but, i'll talk more about it. i think john and dave would rent an apartment in the city together so john could easily go to uni and dave can grow mold in his room. it'd be a really shitty place, but i think with john's efforts they'd manage to make the place look more homely. dave would mostly stay in his room because he has made it so that he could sustain himself in there for a week without having to come out. john wouldn't be on his case about it though as long as the living room isn't filthy. i think john would be able to tolerate a moderate mess.

i think john would be weirded out by bro strider, but then again i don't think those two would cross paths very often. i think in a world where dirk exists as dave's brother consistently he'd get really annoyed by him. that is why i made those dirk comics. i reckon that dave would like john's dad, but for some reason i always imagined he'd be dead or in a different state when john and dave live together. in terms of what they'd do, i think dave would be a college dropout so he'd probably be working some really peculiar short-term one off jobs. like, gigs and costume mascot work. or he'd be doing some really weird crypto shit on the internet, which he'd think is really funny. like, he'd rake in a handful of money during the nft craze. i imagine john and dave trying to live a little and be teenagers during the time. so they'd show up to or have parties and they'd be getting up to some zany and boisterous teenage behavior. i think john would be studying at university and he'd have a job related to that. i'd bet that dad would help him pay for his expenses too. i think john would study computer science or something kind of nerdy like that. he'd be paying for most of the expenses at home. and he'd probably be doing most of the chores, but he wouldn't mind that much cause dave tries to contribute and he makes good company. john and dave would play video games a lot and go out to eat and see movies and stuff. just kind of really casual things. maybe they'd go out to arcades too. i suggest reading deacon_blue's moveout zine, which i enjoy a lot and has a similar basis. it is one of my favorite things produced out of the fandom regarding the beta kids. romantically, i like to imagine they don't actually get together until like, two years of living together. not much i can say about that but when it happens, it happens late. i can't formulate the words to describe this bit, but i'll end up drawing pictures later on. i hope this was enough, i can't really think of anything else unless i'm prompted with specific questions so if you have any i'd love to keep talking about this weird universe i've built in my head around them.

[queertranshappiness]

The last few days have been hard, news wise, for us. However, we still want to celebrate a bit of joy we had, because it's important:

There's an older transmasc nonbinary person who we met through a mentorship program, who we have meetings with occasionally to talk through things and get advice. He helped us today, and we want to tell you what he said (with some of our thoughts attached), incase it helps someone else tonight, or whenever you see this.

The world is cruel at the moment, and life is a bit shit. There's bad stuff everywhere. When life is like this, the important question to ask is 'how can I make things better in someone else's little world, and my little world?', and 'how can I do what's not done before?'. When you can't see the forest for the trees, it feels like it never ends. But it will end someday, and we've got to get through it. The only way we will is by taking action. Do fun stuff and support your friends. Write poetry and essays, tell your story to others. Coin new terms, flags and create new neopronoun sets that make you or others, even if it's just 1 person, feel heard. Tell someone they are loved today. Donate to organisations fighting the good fight. Find, create, and spread resources. Be as visible as you safely can, and please... don't give in to the people on reddit or twitter or wherever they are who tell you we are doomed, or that it is not worth fighting. That will get us nowhere. And if you do believe that... we understand why you feel that way, but even in your desire for a better world there is the chance of positive change. Don't dash that chance before you can take it. In his words: 'there is another world you haven't yet seen'.

So, despite it all, we've decided to launch a new project with our uni's trans society, which we are helping to run this year... and we're very excited about where it could go, if we can make it work. We might end up putting details here, someday. But we don't think we'd have had the courage to do that without talking to him.

Even on days like this... we still had some pretty cool stuff happen. We went out with our queerplatonic partner in person for the first time since the beginning of summer, and got to see an exhibition on one of our biggest special interests, which he may now be into. (/lh) We managed to pass a grading for our martial arts club, which was very cool. Why do we bring these up? Because even in days like this, in a dark world full of hateful politicians... our joy matters and is sacred.

So please, no matter what, keep on fighting, in whatever ways you can. Keep on dreaming, keep hold of your desire for a better world. To the degree you can, hold onto hope, even if it's of the smallest thing getting better, whether that be queer-related or not.

Trans and queer elders are sacred. They are some of the community's best weapons for fighting this current hateful political bubble, and many of them have been through similar waves to the one we are currently in. Their wisdom and experiences can help us. They inspire us, show us a future where we can be happy, and pave the way for a better world. In the future, we will do the same for the next generation of queer and trans youth... but we have to be there to support them. So keep on going and take it day by day, so when the sun rises again, whenever that may be... you can help someone who was in the same situation as you in the past not have to fight quite so hard. Be an elder, not a martyr. That's how we'll fix things in this world.

[madhattervanessa]

Kill You To Try (Chapter 3)

-

Summary: Weeks go by and eventually, the numbness of grief forces you back to the ranch. You're caught between two chairs.

Warnings: self harm-ish things, isolation

Words: 2109

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A/N: So sorry for the late chapter guys, I'm currently struggling with a uni project that got completely dismissed by my prof and some other life stuff - I might edit this chapter a little next week but I didn't want to leave you guys without anything :)

-

You must have fallen asleep,... again. The porch chair, despite its rotten-looking wood, offers a charming comfort. That, combined with the look out towards the water providing just enough ambient sounds, has continuously proven to make you drift off. 

It's not like you could actively remember the past few weeks.

The dust you had whirled up into the air more than a week ago now has settled again, nestling into the crooks of the wood and the dried lavender you had hung above the window of the kitchen. It had been a measly attempt at smoothing out the musky scent of the settling wood beams and the peaty soil underneath. 

Now that you've grown accustomed to it... the days are flying by. 

Mainly because you keep staring into the water, dozing off, and thinking about where it had all gone wrong. How you ended up here.

The faint gurgle of the water, the occasional hiccup and splash of the gentle stream kissing the mossy, slick stones brings you back and makes you open your eyes again. There's the faint chill biting on your cheeks, a testament to how much time you'd spent on the porch already.

Maybe you should leave the blanket inside when you come out in the morning.

You twist the artfully woven fabric mindlessly in your fingers, back and forth. The loose lint gets scraggly underneath the pressure, the fine fabric strings hooking into each other and balling up.

You frown at it, thinking about the few words you had managed to string together on your laptop since you had moved into the cabin.

A splash makes you look up from your musing. A lazy drift of your eyes, more like, still without coffee and food because the food you got from Gabriel every now and then had run out by now.

Your eyes wander over the river until you spot a brown bear.

Just barely in the first few gleams of the sun, it trudges deeper into the water, uncaring of your presence on the other side of the river.

You should probably take up cooking again.

Give yourself something to do; maybe you should cook something for Gabriel, at least once, in return.

A fish from the stream, perhaps.

You squint against the bright light, the reflections on the water, and find the bear, quite unsuccessfully, snapping at fish swimming past.

It has been a week since you've been down at the ranch.

Your fingers are itching for something to do.

Then again, meeting the judging, worried look from the Senior of the Dutton family has started to lose its appeal. It makes your skin crawl to see the gruff man level such a soft, understanding look at you without much prompting.

-

"Hey, sunshine."

"Hey yourself- you busy?" You set your tote bag with the empty Tupperware down at your usual spot at the kitchen island before glancing at Gabriel. He is chopping away at something, diligently working, even as you lean against the kitchen counter next to him. You watch his arm move, the way he fills the shirt up that he had chosen for today.

"A little. Working on supper preparations." He briefly turns and flashes a charming smile before he continues chopping some zucchini. "How was your week away from the ranch?"

"Insightful. I brought you something for all that food you made me. Just... a favor in return for a favor."

Perfectly cubed pieces of vegetable join the others in the big bowl next to him and you watch as he puts down the knife. When he dries his washed hands on the towel slung over his shoulder, he finally meets your eyes again. 

"That's awfully nice."

"I would have bought you a bottle of something good to drink but I don't really know what you like."

He chuckles with a slight nod before he risks a look towards the kitchen island where you have deposited the filled box.

"What's in it?"

"Special dinner. Didn't have time to make dessert, otherwise, I would have made you some of my homemade cinnamon buns."

"Mh, I've heard good things about those."

"Oh, is that so?"

You nudge him with your elbow before looking over the kitchen countertop more closely - the bowl is a rainbow of colors and you see a box of steak, deep in the mix of paprika orange and streaks of muted greens, a marinade that already looks promising. It's like you can smell the colors.

"Well, maybe we can make those together sometime soon, then." He nudges you back and you chuckle before hopping off the counter again.

"Yeah right. Every cook I know despises baking."

"Yeah because it's like chemistry-"

"-like chemistry", you say at the same time. You grin wolfishly before knocking on the countertop wood, twice.

"Well, I better go out to the barn. Check on the horses."

"Want me to walk you over?"

"What, do you think a wolf will get me?"

"Nah. I just... I could use the fresh air."

"Uhm, sure."

He throws a towel over the cubed veggies.

You don't say much when he follows you outside.

What are you even doing?

"Hardly noticed how nice the weather is today", Gabriel mutters, scratching his beard as you approach the barn. You hum and look out towards the mountains.

"Maybe you need to get out more often."

"Hey, I do get out." He smiles, despite the admonishment. You give him an unbelieving look.

"Yeah, right, Gator", you huff and turn into the barn. He stops right at the border of the first concrete tile and leans up against the wooden door.

"Well if you don't believe me, I'll just have to prove it. You free this weekend?"

You're mute.

What?

He is still staring at you, waiting for an answer, unabashedly waiting out the awkward silence.

"I uhh- I'll have to look into my calendar, I guess."

"When you do, you know where to find me."

You're left with no further explanation, your eyes following Gabriel until he is back at the lodge.

-

You don't know if you want to answer him, today, though. 

You frown and hold your breath as you push your hand deeper into the cow - it lows as you do and you shush it as you carefully press further.

"You look beautiful today, Bones!"

You glare at the young farmhand calling out to you and manage to raise your middle finger at him.

"Aren't those boys happy about summer starting", you grumble. You finally manage to feel the organ you had been looking for. John chuckles, leveling an amused look at the guys working the herd in the other gutter.

"You know how they get."

"Wish they'd get more useful, sometimes", you mutter, still busy mapping out the reproductive system of the cow.

John hums, still leaning onto the metal cage the cow is fixated in, leaving you just enough room so you don’t feel uncomfortable but always close enough to peer over your shoulder.

“So, what’s going on?”

You draw your arm back after another minute with a short murmur to the cow.

“There’s some abnormalities around the ovaries and uterus. I’m going to suggest we keep her in while I do some tests. But most likely she’s going to be useless for breeding, John”, you sigh as you tug your plastic glove off. He notes it down in his notebook, nodding slightly.

You throw your dirty glove into your bucket and move over to the side to draw some blood from the neck of the cow where Rip is standing.

He smiles at you as you take a short moment to pat the cow’s neck.

“Rip!”

His head whips up towards John’s voice, his legs already in motion. He pats your shoulder as he passes you. As you rummage for a needle in your case, you catch him looking at you while he listens to John.

A cheeky smile briefly breaks his serious grimace before he turns away from you again.

You busy yourself withdrawing some blood from the cow's neck, carefully filling up a few more vials that you stash in the cooled box next to your case.

"Alright," you call out as you straighten up, your eyes on the boys in the back. ", send me the next one in, guys! We still have two more left!"

You straighten your head and use your bandana to wipe off some sweat that had built on your forehead and neck.

It takes a few more hours to finish your work, carefully checking over all of the cows that would be used for breeding this year before you do the actual dirty work the next week.

“Got everything?”

You look up from your cooled box of blood vials, your pen hovering over your notebook pages with the cattle numbers. Rip has your travel mug in hand, the light clinking of the metal immediately giving away the contents.

"Well, now I do. When did you have time to make me an iced coffee?”

“Who said I made it”, he just retorts, pushing the cool container into your free hand. You squint at him before taking a sip and noting the last few comments down before you shut the book.

“Well I know damn well that nobody would willingly put oat milk in coffee in this part of the country”, you murmur- you chance a look towards the Dutton house and feel your cheeks flush as you see Gabriel leaning over the sill to wave at you.

Oh. So that’s where the coffee had come from.

You wave back and take another sip before you look back at Rip.

He’s looking out towards the ranch, checking on god knows what- maybe the farmhand busy doing the dirty work of the day.

“Do you need any help moving your stuff up?”

“The blood vial case is a bit heavy but I’ll be fine. After all, that is going on Milton’s back, not mine.” 

“Just askin’. I'm going into town to get groceries. Want to come along?"

"Oh- I am-" you stop and frown. "No, actually, I could use some groceries, now that you mention it."

"I'll pick you up at the cabin, later, then."

"That would be great, thanks, Rip." You lean your head against his shoulder for a brief moment before looking up at him. He is already looking at you - it makes you squirm, that look.

"I'll come pick you up in an hour."

You don't think you've ever seen Rip without at least two pieces of clothing that identify him as a cowboy: It's always a hat, the boots, the belt, and maybe one of the Dutton logos on his shirts.

"Alright."

-

You grin to yourself as you watch a younger man glancing at Rip nervously from the produce aisle. 

You gently squeeze the tomato in your hand before grabbing a few to put in your cart. Rip is frowning at some cucumbers next to you. 

"Stop frowning like that, you're scaring every teenager in the vicinity", you mutter and nudge him before picking one of the cucumbers for yourself.

"Just thinking."

"You want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing important, doll." 

You bite your lip instead of disagreeing. Instead, you focus on picking out some more produce, the faint 2000s summer playlist playing in the background. The AC is already blasting even though summer has barely started - you're almost freezing in your thinned-out sweatshirt. It's blissfully empty around this time in the grocery store- well, as empty as these giant stores can get.

Rip eventually catches up to you in the fruit juice aisle where you swear your teeth are chattering.

"I shouldn't buy this much- I can barely get all of this up to the cabin."

"I'll drive you back, you know that, right?"

He's close. Hovering. You two haven't been this close in months.

You miss the comfort of his hugs.

It's the only thing you can think about as you stare into the overfilled shelf.

"Pick some up so we can have those fancy little cocktails you like to make. Don't play shy about it."

"So what you're saying is you want me to make some cocktails again because you have been missing having those fancy fruity little drinks with me."

He doesn't say anything, just leans so close you can feel the warmth of his breath.

"If you tell on me, I'll tell the greenhorn you have a crush on him."

"Ohhh, I'm shaking in fear."

"Knew it wasn't just the cold."

Rip leans back again and you smile as you pick out a few juice bottles, despite the chill. 

He forces you to take his jacket when you get into the truck again and drives the two of you home.

You spend the next two days hugging yourself, wound up in it as you let your feet dangle into the cool water of the stream.

You do it until you feel your toes go numb. After going inside and warming them up, you do it again, your eyes steadily on the rush and splash of the water, the reflections playing with the lights.

The groceries stay untouched.

-

Taglist: @graniairish

If you would like to be tagged, shoot me a quick message!

Requests are open

[yamujiburo]

i really love your account, especially your comics. you manage to keep all the characters so unique and pretty expressive while nailing anatomy and angles ighhhhhits so good man. how did you learn to draw? how did you learn anatomy and then how did you learn comics and shit? do you have major inspirations you look to or accounts or exercises? i hope these questions are ok i’m very curious, i’ve started drawing again after stopping because of uni and while it’s slowly coming back i’m struggling with consistency and getting expressiveness

Ahh thank you so much!!

I started drawing really young by just copying cartoons I liked and then graduated to “how to draw manga” books. I was fairly self taught in that way until I got into art college~

I feel like everything I learned has been almost completely through observation. There’s a lot to be learned from just looking at something and breaking it down to it’s core elements whether it’s anatomy, the cinematography of a movie or a comic book spread. Really analyzing why someone makes the choices they do and applying it to your own work.

College is where I learned the technical terminology for things in storyboarding and I could finally put words to the things I was observing in the movies and tv shows I was watching, which in turn, allowed me to use those techniques more effectively. After that’s it’s just finding your style and breaking the rules in a way that makes sense to you~

Being a storyboard artist/director at disney has also helped me shape my writing style as well as the way I like to stage shots for my comics (which are more of a storyboard style than comic style imo). I’ve learned a lot of efficiencies and tricks on how to make things nice and clear when drawing stuff.

So yeah! Just observe!! Look at real life, look at things that inspire you, look at other artists and really break down and analyze how they do things!

[exopelagic]

fuck R <3

[just-my-type-x]

I want to write something with Brad these upcoming days because i miss writing and also i miss him, so if u have any ideas, drop them in my inbox (would love some smut too)

I would love to combine the ideas for an imagine// you work for the vamps and the reader and Brad start to notice they’re falling for each other

Most Feels Aren't Temporary

Based on these requests and on the songs Temporary by 6lack and Right Now by The Vamps

It's not an unknown fact for the Vamps team that Brad and I dated in my high school years. Even tho his career was taking off at that moment, we knew how to manage our relationship and we knew how to make the most of it. We decided to end our relationship in my first year of uni, when i was 19, the lack of interaction being too much for both of us. No more birthday show ups, no more show ups in important moments of each other's lives. He missed my graduation, i missed their biggest festival they played because of exams. It's safe to say we knew we were the right people at the wrong time, which broke both of our hearts to admit, but it was for the better.

But in life there are no coincidences. After i finished college, i met with the impediment of not knowing what path to take in life, i had no idea what job i wanted, i had no idea what was right for me anymore. I kept talking to Kirstie even after Brad and I parter ways, thing that helped me keep in touch with the band also and i couldn't be happier to see that we worked on our misunderstandings. Later the same year i finished college, Joe offered me a job as a PR assistant, as he didn't want to make the job public and he knew i could handle the boys in the best way.

It's been 5 years and I've upgraded from assistant to manager, but I'm glad i don't get crashed by the boys doing stupid stuff that goes out to the fans. Well maybe once or twice a month, but nothing outrageous.

"Hey", Brad smiles at me as he enters my office

"Hey", i lay back on my desk chair and look at his sleepy face

"Did you sleep in here last night?", he laughs as he checks the clock on my desk. It's barely 8 in the morning

"No, smart pants, i got in here earlier because i needed to get a report done for Joe. I can't work on reports on the road because i get sick", i close my laptop and pick up my documents, Brad helping with placing the chair close to my desk

"I know", he offers me a quick smile before yawning. "I didn't know why i couldn't pick you up from your home. When Joe told me you're here, i almost told him to give you days off just because", he motions to his head and mimics and explosion. I laugh at his words and i push the exit door with my shoulder.

"You didn't have to pick me up, i could drive myself to the airport.", i sigh when i drop everything in the backseat of the car, almost bumping into Brad as he comes by my side to help me with my stuff.

"No, put it like this please, at the first sudden break, this goes to shit", he rambles as he keeps repositioning my laptop and my bag in a way to keep them in place.

"But if you put them like this, if you hit the breaks all of a sudden, by backpack is going to get the laptop to shit", i roll my eyes as i reposition my things as well, but Brad's hands take mine away. It's the first time i realise how close we are, our shoulders and arms touching each other, our faces mere centimeters apart. His hands hold mine for a little while, as we take in each other's features. His dark chocolate eyes trace my face, piercing through my own and making me hold my breath. I watch his mouth slightly smiling, causing me to blush and smile back. His pink lips make me reminisce on the old days, a quick memory of us on a date coming to my mind.

We were on the rooftop of a skyscraper right outside of London, where the light pollution isn't as big as in other parts of the city. We were cuddled up, I was resting my head on his chest, while his arms were wrapped around me. As the night went on, the meteor shower we were waiting for finally took place. Tired and pretty cold, we both got up and watched millions of rocks light up small portions of the sky. I wasn't paying attention to Brad at all anymore, but he cupped my face and kissed me hard, like I'd runaway if he backed away. The kiss grew to be a passionate one, leaving us breathless and needy for more.

"I want this kind of show when i propose to you", he said, surprised by his own words

"What if it takes another 50 years?", i laugh, never looking away from his eyes, that were more sparkling than any falling star or meteor shower.

"That, i did not think through. Are they so rare?", we both bursted out laughing and continued to watch the sky light up every now and then.

His smirk grows wider as my stare is still on his lips.

"Thinking about something naughty?", Brad tries to joke, but he clears his throat right after. I just nod and take my hands away.

I take a deep breath, careful not to show any more emotion than the one i definitely did. "If i tell you what i was thinking about, you wouldn't be able to drive straight", i wink at him and take a seat in the passenger seat.

"Uh", he stops in his tracks and can't say anything else, so he just shakes his head laughing and getting behind the wheel.

The drive to the airport is silent and i can't ignore the past few months of me working with The Vamps, especially with Brad. 5 years ago, when i started, it was so easy to be around him, but i also blame it on the fact that i was so focused on my job and pleasing everyone, that i was basically unapproachable. Joe took me to the side and told me that I'm slowly becoming an workaholic and that i should also take some free time, have fun with the band while I'm at it.

I slowly grew out of my fear of Brad and i not getting along, but he was the one to actually show and help me that our past will not define our friendship then or in the foreseeable future. However, the past few weeks had been different. When i get to the studio with the boys, I'm welcomed by a cup of my favourite coffee and a curly head that's all smiley and in a good mood, only to miss out on a few days of accompanying them and Tris, James or Con to say how Brad was a menace because he didn't agree on anything with them. Being the overthinker that i am, i started to ask myself why he would act like that, only because I'm not there.

Slowly, Brad's gestures towards me made the usual butterflies that i feel in the pit of my stomach every time i see him go even wilder, which wasn't exactly what i wanted. If it didn't work out the first time, it doesn't work the second time either, right?

"Ready for Norway?", James asks as he pulls me in a hug.

"I'm always ready for travelling", i smile as wide as possible, my excitement making everyone laugh. "And i love Norway a lot, i missed visiting it", i look towards Brad who winks at me.

"Oh, you've been there before?", Kirstie's excited tone of voice leaves a bittersweet taste in my soul as i can't match her excitement on this one.

"We went there for our 3 year anniversary. After our european tour.", Brad answers before i get the chance and i look down at my Nikes

"As you can see it's been ages since my last visit so I'm definitely looking forward to getting there", i try to make light of the situation, an unsettling feeling fixing in my chest. Why am i affected by something that happened 8 years prior to this moment? Wasn't i ok with the situation?

***

The cold air hits us as we get out of the airport. Strong wind almost lifts us off the ground as we're trying to find our 2 cars to get us to the small cottage we rented.

"This is definitely not how i remember it", i say as i grab onto the hood on my head for dear life. I earn a few laughs from Tristan and Kirstie and i almost trip over my own luggage when the wind pushes it my way.

After a 40 minute drive, we get to our cottage and unpack for the week. Festivals and vacations are an amazing deal,especially when you actually love the people you work with.

As I'm also taking the wheel and replace both Joe and Evie, i talk through with The Vamps the plans for the festival, the hour when they'll start playing and additional meetings i worked on with the Norwegian press.

"Sounds lovely, great job", Con congratulates me and we fist bump as i put the paper with the information aside. "Anyone hungry?", i ask as i check the time to see it's close to 5PM. We all get to cooking, each of us having a certain assignment. As i run out of things to do for the first course, i end up deciding to bake cupcakes so i wouldn't just stare at everyone else doing something.

"Can you make my faves?", Brad's voice comes from behind me, one of his hands resting on my hip as i measure the flour. I feel my heart drop to the floor at his request, but nod and give him a smile. He rushes to the fridge to give me 2 bananas and a bowl of strawberries and i put them away for later.

As we're waiting for the cupcakes to bake, we end up finishing our food and we starts playing games.

"Ok ok, my turn", Tris almost yells to be heard through the wave of laughter. "I once left the store without paying for my stuff. I broke into my neighbour's property to get my ball from their yard. One of my ex's dad almost beat me up because he caught me with his daughter"

"Ohhh this is tough!", Kirstie hits the table lightly with her palms. "I honestly believe they're all true"

"Everything he said can be done by him", i agree with her and Tris rolls his eyes at us.

"Well thank you", he sarcastically says and we laugh at him

"We've known him for a lifetime and i still have second thoughts on this", James rubs his chin.

"Ok, i got it i got it", i say and look Tris in the eyes. "You got beat up, BECAUSE", i put a lot of emphasis on the word because everyone gets loud and laughs. "If you were dating her at that point in life where you were stealing from damn shops, her dad found out and grounded her. So i could only see you climbing up through her window like a lil Romeo and Juliet type of moment", i take a moment to let everyone calm down from my little story and i carry on. "AND, the next day when you were mad you got beat up by her dad, you went out to play football and your ball ended up on your neighbour's property. So all of them are true, you cheated Tris! You needed a lie", i pinch him slightly as he throws his head back laughing.

"What? They're true?", Brad laughs as Tris nods at the chaotic stories.

"But I'm not done because if all of those are true, I'm gonna say that the neighbour you trespassed into the garden was your girlfriend. And you snuck in there because if you would've knocked on the door or called, you'd get jn trouble again.", i finish my story and take a sip of my beer

"I hate you", he jokes as he throws a napkin in my face. I get interrupted by the oven bipping. I go over to the kitchen to get the cupcakes out. I feel Brad's gaze linger as i disappear behind the wall.

"Don't you have a picture or something to stare at? You're getting creepy", Con jokes and Brad flips him off.

"Shut up", a light pink creeps on his cheekbones.

"What's up with you lately?"

"What do you mean?", Brad shifts in his chair

"The sudden urges to follow y/n around, the request of her to make the cupcakes your favourite kind and i saw your hand on her hip.", Con eats a chip.

"And don't forget about his behaviour when she's not around. All moody and shit", James pops a grape in his mouth.

Brad sighs and shakes his head, looking at nothing on the table. "I'm fucked, that's what's going on. I feel like i messed everything up years ago when we broke up. I know i could've done better and could've saved our relationship but i didn't, because i was selfish at some point. I was too tired and i lied to her that i can't make it to her graduation because we were in another city. Initially, i wanted to surprise her and i didn't tell her we're gonna get back earlier. But when we actually did, i couldn't find the will in me to get up early again and leave. She shrugged everything off and didn't mind that i wasn't there, i think she lied, but it made me feel better. Then our schedule didn't match at all but i never told her to come with us at different shows. She offered to take online classes for a semester, i told her not to bother. She found out about these things after we broke up, it's safe to say she didn't speak to me a while.", he scoffs as he continues, everyone listening closely." And we're getting just fine now but i see the smile on her face every time she shows up to work and i know it's because we all maks her happy because she's here with her friends, but i can't say I'm not selfish, again, and i don't wish for that smile to be, at least once, just for me, because she feels the same as i do about her. "

"And what exactly do you feel?", James raises an eyebrow, almost a mischievous smile creeping in.

"I want her back. I want to try again with her, this is what second chances are for, right? To make things better and to prove that I'll turn the wrongs into rights. Even in her college years, it was so hard to see her hanging out with all these people, but i pushed whatever feeling away because i couldn't take her back and treat her the same way as before. To make things worse, lately i get all these flashbacks from when we were together and if i don't act soon, the memories will end up wrecking me.", he taps nervously on the table as everyone's silent after his confession.

"Ok, they're ready and delicious, but they're hot so be careful. Especially you, Tris.", i say as i come back with two plates full of cupcakes.

"What's that supposed to mean?", a fake hurt squeal comes from him

"Because you want to devour whatever is in front of you", we laugh and he agrees.

"I would've had a very naughty answer for you but i can't do this to someone at the table", he laughs and looks at Brad, who's nervously rubbing his chin.

"Oh by all means, i wanna know what you're capable of. Alice asked me about you, i wanna see if you're worthy of her time", i rest one hand on my hip and watch his eyes sparkle with interest.

"I would've said that if i wanted to devour everything that's in front of me, my dessert would've been you, not the cupcakes", be shoots me an innocent smile as i laugh and blush at his statement. We all laugh and i take a seat back next to Connor.

"You're a dead man", Brad says smiling and we giggle a little more before digging into our sweets.

***

Hours later I'm left alone with Brad in the big living room. I stretch myself when i get up off the couch and i yawn.

"No, don't go", Brad whispers as sleepy as me, as he grabs my hand and pulls me in front of him, looking up in my eyes.

"It's late, Bradley, let's go to sleep", i offer to pull him off the couch but he stays put. Instead, he pulls a bit more by my arms and i end up sitting on his lap, my legs on his side, as my hand are glued to his chest. I take in his scent and i close my eyes to take in the moment and the feeling of him.

"Can i sleep with you? Please? It's been so long since", he brushes his nose on mine and i hold my breath because of how intimate this moment is. "I miss you. And this", he puts a hand over my hands, "isn't enough for me. I miss your touches that are more than just mistakes because we want to grab the same thing, i miss your smiles that are just for me, not for everyone else in the room", he stops, cupping my cheek with his hand, making me look into his eyes. His thumb brushes over my lips, lingering on the bottom one and tracing its shape slowly. "And these lips, y/n you don't understand how desperate I am without them"

With no mind of my own, i press my lips on his, taking him by surprise, almost pulling away at my sudden action. He kisses me back, holding me by the back of my neck, while one of hands runs through his curls. He traces my lip with his tongue and i part my lips to let his tongue slide in. We bite on our lips, suck and taste each other and he helps me change positions to straddle him, his hands not going lower than the small of my back, earning a soft, annoyed moan. He chuckles at my reaction and pulls away. He kisses me one more time and i climb down from him. Confused, he raises a brow.

"Bradley, this won't work."

"It will, because I'm 100% ready to start again with you. The break up was mostly my fault, but i can assure you that my feelings for you weren't temporary. And I'm sure i wasn't supposed to feel this way in case my feelings were long gone", he confesses and i rub my forehead

"What are you feeling?"

"Love. I feel like i love you still, like we never broke up and like we are mature enough to face the reality. I never got over you and i don't know if it's because you work for us, but I'm sure i wouldn't had been able to move on from you ever. Give me one more chance to prove to you how much you mean to me. We don't have to do everything right just yet, but we're right now, in this moment and if i lose you, I'm afraid I'll never get you back. I can't let you slip away. ", his handa cup my face again and i cup his, brushing by thumbs over his cheekbones.

"Ok, and i promise to always be by your side ans support you more than i ever did in the past. I know i also did some wrong things, which i will always regret. I know you're right for me and as most people are temporary, i know we're not temporary for each other. ", i close the gap between us, as my lips glue to his, the familiar feeling of the shape of his mouth seems to have never disappeared in the first place.

[etherealspacejelly]

you quit your software engineering job to pursue environmental science?? do tell!

(i have a software engineering job. it makes me sad.)

so when i was like. 10. i had this teacher who taught us basic scratch programming. and i was like. freakishly good at it. i picked it up super quickly and was even helping the other students to fix their problems. and so he said to me "you know, you could be a great computer programmer one day" and i was like. yeah! i could!

so throughout highschool my One and Only goal was to become a software engineer. every time i went to the career counsellor thats what i said. so i did computer science at gcse, and got a 9, and i did computer science at a level and got an A*. (i did other subjects too of course. but those were the ones i was focussed on)

then i finished my a levels and i went straight into looking for an apprenticeship. no one was really interested in me because i didnt have any experience or a degree. so then my dad got me an internship with some guys he knew at a company that worked in his building, and i managed to build up some actual industry skills. then i got an apprenticeship! it paid super well and the team was great and it was work from home.

and i hated it.

i was just sitting in my room at my dads house 9-5 mon-fri writing code all by myself. it was lonely and boring and i didnt really know what i was doing. it was supposed to be an apprenticeship but it just felt like a job. they didnt teach me how to do anything they just said "do this and come to me if you run into a problem". half the time they didnt even give me any work to do for days at a time so i was just watching youtube or scrolling on tiktok. which sounds great but it wasnt because i felt guilty the whole time and was terrified of being found out and fired, even tho it wasnt my fault? they literally werent giving me work to do?

anyway. a few months into it i was like man Fuck this. im going to university. so i started looking at courses. it actually started with astrophysics, but since i didnt take a science at a level i didnt have the requirements for that. then i found environmental science! it was all the stuff im passionate about: climate change, conservation, natural processes and earth science. so i worked on my application letter and applied, and i got in!

so i went to my boss and was like hey. im putting in my notice. i got into university. and they were like "oh noooo we're so sad to see you go :( you were doing so well and we were so pleased with your work and your progress :(" (and i was like. huh?? i literally didnt fucking do anything. but oh well.)

so i worked until the end of my 6 week notice and then i handed my stuff back in and left. i had a bit of a summer vacation and then started uni! and ive been here for just over a year now :)

its honestly so much better. i have so many new friends, i got to move out of my mums house, im in full control of my life.

so take this as your reminder that its never too late! you can always change your path.

you are in control.

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Bring Back 'Good Enough'

When I was in school, my parents insisted that I get at least 'C's in school. If I fell below that, we'd work harder on homework and such, but I don't think I ever had to. As long as I got 'C's, that was 'satisfactory'. That was 'average'. That was good enough. And so I got 'C's in the subjects I didn't have a natural aptitude for (see: math) and got 'A's in the subjects I did (see: Art & English) and 'B's in between.

I remember the first time one of my friends told me she had to get straight 'A's or she'd lose privileges. Want an allowance? Straight 'A's. Want to go out with friends? Straight 'A's. I couldn't believe it. No one was perfect all the time. No one was perfect in every subject. I was in elementary school at the time, and I understood this. Why couldn't adults? It was later made clear to me that the logic here was that 'student' was your job and you had to do the work to get your pay. I didn't quite buy it, but what did I know? I was ten. Student was the only job I'd ever had.

My first roommate out of college was a good friend from high school who had always been an A-B student. Normally she got straight 'A's, but occasionally something would bump her down one grade. She was fine with that. Then she got to uni. Finals week stressed her out to the point she got stress hives. When she got her first ever 'D' she almost had an anxiety attack. Almost. She was just strong enough to close her eyes, take a deep breath and say "Fuck it, a D is passing! I don't need this for my major anyway!"

The two of us worked at JoAnn Fabric when we graduated. Neither of us realized that the working world had gone from "get a degree and they'll train you to do anything" to "do a million internships so you have the two to five years experience required for an entry level job" while we were in school. We weren't overjoyed by the discovery, but we were both too burnt out on school to go back and funny thing - all of the internships we could find were for students. So we sold craft stuff and every once in awhile a random customer would be asked to take a phone survey. The options were Highly Dissatisfied, Dissatisfied, Neither Satisfied or Dissatisfied, Satisfied, and Highly Satisfied. Once a month, we'd get a district report card showing what results all of the local stores had received. I remember one month we had 25% Neither Satisfied or Dissatisfied, 50% Satisfied, and 25% Highly Satisfied. I was so proud! No other store in the district had a 75% satisfaction rating! One store even had a Highly Dissatisfied, but not us!

...we got raked across the coals for being the worst store in the district. Why? Because even the store with a Highly Dissatisfied had managed to get more than 25% Highly Satisfied. What was wrong with us? I protested. Who's going to give a 'Highly Satisfied' when they come in for a spool of thread and find it easily? That's just basic satisfaction. Just because we hadn't been in a position to jump through hoops for as many people didn't mean we were worse.

No one listened to me. I had coworkers - women old enough to be my mother - hang their shaking heads and say "I can't believe we only got 25% Highly Satisfied".

And that's when I realized what sort of a world the parents who raised their kids as straight 'A' students because 'that was their job' had created: a world with no 'good enough'. A world where satisfactory wasn't satisfactory. A world with only 'the best' and 'better than the best', and yeah, I was younger than the adults, the people in charge, but I was also a bloody English major. The only math I'd excelled at - ever - was logic. My mother was a chemist who had taught me how a basic 'if than' statement worked.

I KNEW THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 'BETTER THAN THE BEST'.

Without so much as putting the Sorting Hat on our heads, we had all sorted Sparklypoo and now our hair was coming in mouse brown at the roots because there can only be one 'best'.

What's more, now I had a job other than 'student'. Now I actually earned a wage and funny thing: I was a straight 'A' worker, but I got paid as much as the 'D's. Alright, I had better opportunities for advancement, in theory. Except that there wasn't any room for advancement. Similarly, I had a better shot at a better job, but all of the better jobs wanted 2-5 years experience for an entry level position and I couldn't do that without going back to school. Now, I did eventually get out of there and get jobs that paid better, but where they better? At JoAnn I got to play with yarn all day and teach people how to cast on. At the pest control company I got to deal with customers trying to rip me off or claiming (not always inaccurately) that our technicians had ripped them off. I got sent to do a job that wasn't mine, stuck in a truck with people who had sometimes been hired that day. My boss tried to retroactively implement rules and threaten to fire you for breaking them. It still didn't give me sleep issues, stress hives, and anxiety that made it feel like I was having a heart attack like the legal litigation outsourcing company.

So no, they weren't better. They were, in fact, much worse, but each of my friends' parents would have approved of them and considered them higher grade jobs than retail. After all, JoAnn had no health insurance while the outsourcing company had shitty health insurance that took $100 out of each pay check and left me with the same taxable income as the pest control outfit despite making $2 an hour more on paper. Clearly an improvement.

And now I'm back in retail and I'm still a straight 'A' worker struggling to take up the slack from the 'D' workers who earn the same amount as me (assuming that we have the same seniority). And yeah, I have a better shot at management than anyone else, but I don't want to be a manager, so there's that. And people look at me and go "What? You have a degree? What are you doing here? You could get a good job!"

And I say that I have a good job. It may not be the best (it is retail, after all), but I am making more money than I have anywhere else. My benefits are good. I like my coworkers. The commute is under 20 minutes. My managers are fighting to keep me in my current position and schedule, despite some pressure to change things.

I will never have a perfect job, but for now at least, this one is good enough. And the straight 'A' parents would be horrified about that, but you know what?

The first successful suicide attempt my Dad ever went to as a Fire Department Chaplin was a teenage boy who thought he'd got a 'B' on a test.

I survived long enough to have a good enough job.

We need to learn to be satisfied with 'good enough' and only move on when that's not satisfactory anymore.

[amberskywrites]

Eternal

Chapter 24 - Consequences

Chapter 1 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 25 || Masterpost | AO3 Link | FF.net Link

Fandom / Genre: Nanatsu no Taizai (Seven Deadly Sins) / Canon-Divergent and Hurt/Comfort

Pairings: Meliodas/Elizabeth, Zeldris/Gelda, Meliodas & Zeldris & Elizabeth & Gelda

Overall Story Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, Canon-typical violence, Canonical character death, Canon temporary character death, Cursed characters, Lmk if I need to add anything else!

Chapter Warnings: None, lmk if there’s anything I need to add!

Author's Note:

So, so incredibly sorry for how long it's taken to get back to this! A lot of stuff ended up happening - younger sibling was dealing with a lot of health issues, family tensions reached a new high, I'm no longer on speaking terms with someone in my house, so much uni work. And now I'm trying to get to a point where I'm no longer reliant on that someone financially, trying to plan to move out later this year, and am now working retail part-time before uni starts up again alongside an internship I was accepted for. I can't promise that updates will be more frequent or be on any kind of schedule; but what I can promise is that this story will not be abandoned. If you ever want an update on how it's going - or just to ask me what's up - message me anywhere from here on Ao3 to Tumblr or Instagram ^^ Thank you all, genuinely, for being patient and for the love you have shown this story - I truly appreciate it!

Story Summary:

Eternal…

life.

reincarnation.

silence.

and chains.

For 3,000 long and painful years, these four have been doing all they can to lift their curses. They have failed, again and again and again. With only a sliver of hope left, they try once more.

-

Or, what if Zeldris accepted Meliodas’ offer to go with him 3,000 years ago?

King’s eyes were wide, and his voice caught in his throat. But even if he wanted to say anything, he had no words. All he managed was a strangled gasp before he heard the distorted and so, so painfully familiar voice of his baby sister come from the lights.

“Ban, what happened? How did you get that scar?”

She didn’t even acknowledge him, the lights tilting slightly to the side but still near Ban, still not moving away from the man who should still be petrified.

Ban scoffed and tilted his head King’s way, but didn’t actually look at King. His expression was… if King had to name it, he’d say fond, faux annoyance plastered on his face.

“I thought you guys watched over us from the other side?”

“It… it really is her- Elaine!” King choked out, and he was vaguely aware of Ban glancing at him, but King couldn’t- he just couldn’t be bothered anymore. Not when… “Please, show yourself to me too!”

Ban continued looking at him, and he said something, though King didn’t hear it. It wasn’t too quiet, but everything suddenly seemed muffled, and all that mattered was Elaine. He had to see her again, make up for his mistakes.

The orbs of light swayed slightly, side to side, as if she were shaking her head. King’s heart settled in his throat as tears stung his eyes.

“The Necropolis allows people to see each other even after death, but only through strong emotional bonds.”

He looked down, finally tearing his eyes away from the pair. He couldn’t help but laugh quietly to himself.  “So you’re still angry at me… for abandoning you, the forest, and everything we believed in…” King mumbled, feeling the tears collect at the corner of his eyes and trying to blink them away. He clenched his fists, trying to distract himself.

There was an explosion in the distance. The power was almost overwhelmingly familiar, followed by a certainly familiar aura of magic.

“A holy knight?” Ban hissed, whipping around to look in the direction they had come from. King glanced up, seeing the immortal posed to run that way. At this point, King didn’t really care.

Elaine’s voice stopped them both - Ban from running off, and King from continuing to wallow.

“Ban, why did you come here?”

Ban didn’t even turn to face her. He just paused, and even when he began speaking, his face gave nothing away.

“I came to say one thing to you: that I will one day take what is mine.”

Despite his expression never changing, King could only imagine what the man meant by that, and his despair over Elaine refusing to let him see her easily morphed into a rage that heated him to his very core. 

“What more could you take from my sister, Ban?!” he snapped, but Ban didn’t even look at him this time. King ground his teeth together, fingers twitching, calling Chastiefol back and about to transform it.

The only reason he stopped was because of Elaine.

“Thank you, Ban.” Her voice was softer than it was before, and King was frozen in his confusion.

Ban didn’t wait a second more, running off towards the remnants of the explosion.

-

Elaine watched her brother drift to the ground, head hanging, the tears finally slipping down his boyish cheeks. She watched impassively, the only thing she would allow herself to feel regarding her brother.

Too many years she had wasted in sorrow and anger and confusion. He didn’t deserve more than impassion from her.

“Why?” he was whispering, she realized. “What could Ban give you that I can’t? When he’s the reason you died?”

She said nothing, but she did drift closer, if only to hear more of what he would say on the things he had no knowledge of.

“How can you forgive Ban?”

How could she forgive him?

What is there to forgive?

Ban didn’t do anything to her.

…

Well. That’s not true.

Elaine didn’t inhale, because she no longer needed to, but she thinks if she still had to breathe she would have. She let go of the impassion, the indifference. And she let the pain in her heart soul boil to the surface as she stared at her big, foolish brother.

“You left,” she starts. “You left, and I was forced to spend hundreds of years in solitude.” She could hear her voice reverberate off the crystalline walls around them, so far away still. But his breathing had hitched, he was listening, and she could see the moment his heart skipped a beat when she finally addressed him. She could feel the way his heart ached, the pain that plagued it, the pain that he had no right to feel when he left.

The pain was familiar. The pain was her own as much as it was his.

Her next words were clearer, grounded in her instead of around them. His head snapped up.

“Seven hundred years after you abandoned your country, after you abandoned me. And Ban… Ban erased all the loneliness in just seven days. He made those centuries feel like nothing more than a nightmare.” 

He couldn’t find words, his mouth opening and closing but not even a stranged sound could escape. She narrowed her eyes, just slightly. He was still her brother, after all, and she would not allow her rage and hurt caused by him to take over her soul. She would not.

“You ask how I can forgive Ban. But I have to ask, how can I forgive you?” 

The anguish on his face didn’t bring her any satisfaction. It only sparked a fury in her chest, and she ached with the anger. She took a faux breath, if only to ground herself, and smoothed the glare away, dragging back the indifferent expression to her face.

“You don’t know him, brother. You don’t know him at all.”

-

Zeldris hauled Meliodas out of the rubble, the brothers hunching behind Gelda a moment later as she blasted one of Guila’s incoming attacks.

“We’re getting nowhere,” Meliodas huffed, “and only being driven back to where Elizabeth ran.”

“We’re getting somewhere,” Zeldris said. “We’re being good distractions.”

“I wouldn’t call you distractions. I haven’t forgotten about Princess Elizabeth,” Guila said from where she stood on a high crystal that Diane had made in an attempt to attack her. “However, I have no intention of passing up the chance of fighting two of the Seven Deadly Sins.” She tilted her head, regarding Gelda and Zeldris with a contemplative frown. “Well, two depowered Sins and their… family, if the reports are to be believed. I must say, it is a mystery as to why two people so seemingly as powerful as the Sins would not have fought alongside them over ten years ago. I must ask-”

“None of your business!” Diane swung a hammer-shaped crystal at the pillar Guila had claimed, forcing the possible holy knight to leap to another. Before she could get her bearings, Diane swung again, aiming for Guila’s feet, and again with every move back she forced Guila.

“Interesting,” Guila mused on the fifth swing, before twisting her body and propelling herself back on Diane’s make-shift hammer. She flipped back and created an explosion beneath herself, bringing her higher than the giant and keeping herself in the air with multiple smaller explosions. The next time Diane swung, there was a warning shout from Zeldris, but it was too late, and Guila blasted the hammer swinging at her with a large ball of flames.

The explosion forced the hammer to swing in reverse, and Diane narrowly avoided being slammed in the head by it, but lost her footing in avoiding the bludgeon. Guila took the opening and barraged her with explosions, and two, three stumbles back, Diane finally crashed.

Guila aimed another explosion at the downed giant, dismissing the fact that Gelda and Zeldris were in front of her. They braced for impact, both Gelda and Zeldris creating a barrier of purple and red flames in front of them and Diane. Guila’s frown deepened and brow furrowed. Something about the aura…

It didn’t matter. The flames would just bolster her power.

She sent the blast forward.

When it made contact, she expected the explosion to absorb the flames and continue on its path, smashing into the three.

It absorbed the flames.

It did not collide.

She had just a second to dodge her own blast.

[queer-crusader]

One of the more difficult things for me in realising I may in fact be autistic, is the facing of old insecurities. I mean, I've been a weird kid who's socially awkward all my life. The signs have always been there. I've been lucky with a caring family that has accommodated for a lot of the struggles I might have faced, which means I didn't really face them head-on and was never really held back that much by them - and thus not very actively aware of them. Yes, my social development was a little different, a little slower. But in the end, I really grew into my own in my college years. I learned how to interact with people more easily, I came out of my shell. Then, after uni, I got a call centre job, and structural communication became so integral to that work that I became almost an expert on how to communicate easily and clearly (maybe more than almost - I'm a coach, now training others in communication, and I'm good at it!). Reading people was something I'd developed in acting class and through my writing skill that I'd worked on over the years, and now I can bring it to much more effective fruition with the training from work. After all those awkward teen years, I finally have a good grade in Communication, something easy to want and possible to achieve!

And then the realisation slips in that I do get socially overwhelmed and need my "crotchety old man in his rocking chair shouting 'get off my lawn'" time to chill by myself. That I crave structure, despite my love of chaos. That I do still say stuff that can be considered weird or awkward, and that I am sometimes unaware of this in the moment, despite my developed ability to read a room and adapt to it. And that the way I was all those years, both as a little kid and a teen, was FULL of signs of autism that I just missed.

And like, all of that is fine. No-one can be perfect at human interaction. But when you're at a point that you feel comfortable in your social skills in a way that makes you feel normal and confident, it almost feels like it's always been that way. You remember being awkward as a teen, but it also feels like you're at a normal point now, and the skills you've developed have come naturally over time. Thus, you must be Normal™ and Good At Social™.

Except... Well. I'm pretty sure I am some flavour of autistic. The skills I've developed have come later than they might for others, and have been hard-fought to gain. I'm okay with not being normal, I'm also fairly sure I have a flavour of ADHD. I get passionate about things others might not, in ways others might not. I get energy from specific things and struggle with menial tasks others do with minimal effort or grumbling. That's cool. I have coping mechanisms that develop all the time. I like being me. Love it, even.

But I was PROUD to be Socially Competent, you know? And I still am socially competent. But now I see the layer beneath the end ("end") result with more clarity. The insecurity about not being socially competent. The rocky foundations. The extensive work to build me up to where I am.

I hated being socially awkward as a kid. I was an outcast, and the people I DID manage to hang out with were even bigger outcasts. I wasn't bullied per se, but I just. Never fit in. Never felt socially fully happy or fulfilled. Not until after secondary school. And that insecurity is still there. The reminder of that awkward time is there in the foundations of the work done to be where I am today.

And now, with my realisation, I'm looking under the hood to find the absolute mess of cables that keep my engine running. It's a less pretty sight than I want it to be. But I've always been a perfectionist who sets unattainable goals for themselves. I cannot fix the mess that makes up the foundation of me, I can only learn to accept it and keep developing and strengthening myself. That is a lifelong project. But I'll get there.

Eventually.

Hopefully.