#cause like. you KNOW he came there to give a NEGATIVE ass review but then he saw Oppenheimer sitting there looking all defeated

[minimoniii]

and they’re boyfriends

[caelestis-composition]

killshot anon! YEAH i totally agree w/ your view on kaeya. it's so weird to me that people will blame him for his role in a situation he was forced into as a child through no choice of his own. that itself had to be traumatic, not to mention everything that happened later. i hate when people say he's untrustworthy - like yeah, he's lied, so has everyone? it's clear he does it mostly to protect himself. not to mention that (& sadism) can be symptoms of trauma. kaeya deserves nothing but happiness

take a seat folks it’s time for a “brynn should’ve been an english major” lesson! today we’re gonna learn some literary theory; specifically, we’re gonna apply psychoanalytical trauma theory to kaeya’s backstory and current character. killshot anon i bet you never thought this would result in a whole ass essay.

disclaimer one! you are allowed to dislike kaeya! i am not saying you need to like him or his character, you’re entitled to your opinion and i’m not here to change your mind.

disclaimer two! i am in no way an expert and this is all for fun! this is just my silly little analysis of one of my favorite characters as someone who’s studied literary theory and rhetoric and can also apply personal experience. seriously analysis is like a hobby to me and this is just an excuse for me to ramble about kaeya.

disclaimer three! this contains lots of spoilers! basically for everything we know in-game, general knowledge as well as stuff from his voicelines and character story. don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers.

since this is going to be filled with spoilers and is about to get really long, everything will be under a cut. for those who wanna read my dumb super informal essay: enjoy!

final note: yeah this is over 2000 words long can you tell i like analysis

⭒

let’s start by getting a quick rundown of trauma theory out of the way. to begin, what is “trauma?” in this case, trauma is going to refer to an experience that greatly affects and changes one’s life; attitudes, memories, behaviors, mental state, etc. while not all changes may be bad, per se, the overall effect of trauma is generally a negative one, which is why it’s so significant. literary trauma theory, then, explores these changes and the impact of trauma in literature. it analyzes the psychological and social effects of trauma, explaining what those effects are and why they happen. in the context of a specific character, trauma theory breaks down said character’s behaviors, feelings, and general mentality in relation to their past experiences; trauma theory hopes to explain to others the reasons for why a character may act or feel the way they do, all based upon the character’s experiences, particularly traumatic ones. our character today is the lovely kaeya alberich, with the “literature” being genshin impact. i’ll be referencing kaeya’s wiki page to ensure i get all details correct for his character story and voicelines.

it would be good to review kaeya’s backstory before delving into the actual analysis. though we don’t know much about his life before living in mondstadt, we’re told he was sent as an agent of khaenri’ah. and by “sent,” i mean his biological father abandoned him in a completely unfamiliar land to serve khaenri’ah’s interests and fullfil his mission—what this entirely entails hasn’t been revealed. mondstadt, however, welcomed kaeya “with open arms when they found him.” crepus ragnvindr took him in as his adopted son, with diluc as his adopted brother. kaeya and diluc were “almost like twins,” so close they “[knew] each other’s thoughts and intentions without a word.” he’d began a new life in mondstadt, one surrounded by friends and family that loved him; one that was completely shattered by crepus’s death. kaeya arrived at the scene of the disaster, and was led to believe diluc was the one who killed their father to “set his father free” from the effects of his delusion. there’d always been one big question in kaeya’s life: if it came down to it, who would he support? the nation that abandoned him, but he still felt loyal to, or the nation and family that took him in and really loved him? overrun with guilt, kaeya confessed his purpose to diluc, sparking a fight between the two brothers. in this fight, kaeya receives his cryo vision. though both brothers stepped away alive, they’ve never been able to make peace with one another. now, kaeya is the eccentric and charming cavalry captain of the knights of favonius; a man who gets his way by using any means necessary, regardless of whether or not it seems right.

kaeya’s not evil; he’s morally ambiguous, and that stems from what appears to be a general distrust of others. his life is one shrouded in secrecy. from the moment he stepped foot into mondstadt, he was surrounded by secrets. even now, he doesn’t talk about a lot of things, namely his past, vision, and feelings. though he’s always willing to get information out of others, kaeya never reveals anything about himself. he repeatedly tells the player they can confide in him, but whenever you try and pry into his life, he deflects your questions with some sort of witty comment or flirty remark. anything he does reveal is vague, or spoken in some sort of “code.” for example, his “interesting things” voiceline. he tells us about the owl of dragonspine, how it “seems to look right through you, while letting go of none of its own secrets,” and then tacks on a “quite fascinating, don’t you think?” it seems like an awfully accurate parallel to himself; kaeya does all he can to get information from others, but never gives anything about himself. now, this whole thing—his relationship with diluc falling apart and his need for secrecy—could have probably been avoided if he had just come clean about his mission years ago. so why didn’t he? to start, kaeya was a literal child. not only are children unable to properly tell the difference between right and wrong, but they’ll also typically follow their parents’ orders blindly. kaeya had just been abandoned, and he wouldn’t want to risk being cast out by mondstadt as well if he came clean right away. you see, there’s this thing about trauma, something that trauma theory states. traumatized people feel a sort of shame or guilt regarding their traumatic experience; they’ll keep quiet because they don’t want to cause problems or bother others with their issues. of course kaeya wouldn’t tell the truth about his past, he doesn’t want to destroy the genuinely loving relationships he’d built in mondstadt. his fight with diluc only proves what he was afraid of: if he’s honest, he’ll be abandoned again. and if kaeya’s used to all the lies, why should he bother changing?

another thing, if he’s not going to tell the truth, then why would he have initially gone along with his father’s plans? again, he was a child. he really had no choice, and was forced into a very wrong and cruel situation. there’s a good explanation for this, too, which is also stated in trauma theory; traumatized people will still do their best to please their abusers. especially if said abuser is a parent, that will drive traumatized people to work even harder to please them. although his father hurt him by ruthlessly abandoning him, kaeya still sought to make him and his homeland proud. he was willing to be used as a tool for their gain; that is, until he found people who actually cared about him. he was an impressionable child, of course he’s going to obey orders. but as he gets older, he feels torn. does he serve those who abandoned him, or those that took him in? his father—and arguably, khaenri’ah as a whole—hurt him, sure, but he still feels some loyalty and connection to his former home. instead of revealing anything, he lets the situation play out. that way, he can’t be blamed when things fall apart.

the thing about claiming he’s untrustworthy is that hardly anyone in-game believes that. he’s adored by the older folks in mondstadt, and foes and allies alike find him easy to talk to. despite seeming lazy and uninterested in work, kaeya takes his job very seriously. in fact, his story states that crepus’s death was the “first and only time kaeya failed in his duty.” the “only time” is especially important, because it signifies kaeya still fulfills his duties successfully. he’s had a total of one slip-up, and hasn’t failed since. no, kaeya is not untrustworthy. rather, kaeya finds everyone else untrustworthy. it’s not unlikely that this is a direct consequence of being abandoned as a child. although it’s been established that kaeya and diluc were very close as children, when crepus dies, kaeya assumes diluc is the one that killed him. in order to jump to such an extreme conclusion against someone he was so close to, there had to be some underlying sense of distrust. furthermore, kaeya expresses feeling as though he doesn’t belong anywhere. he was abandoned by khaenri’ah, and then worried he wouldn’t be accepted by mondstadt. he is, but there’s still that worry. if you place him in your teapot as a companion, he tells you that your home feels like someplace he belongs, following it up with a “heh, who’d have thought…” kaeya still feels as though he doesn’t belong in mondstadt; despite the fact that he’s a high-ranking knight of favonius and rather popular, he still feels like an outsider. he doesn’t trust that anyone actually wants him around, and he finds joy in testing peoples’ trustworthiness. it’s noted in his story and through his voicelines that the beloved cavalry captain has a rather sadistic nature. he likes putting people into difficult situations, to see what decisions they will make. he does this to both opponents and allies, testing to see who’s going to back out and who’ll keep fighting; in the sake of allies, who can he trust? or who will turn tail and abandon their teammates at the slightest hint of danger? i mentioned it previously, but kaeya doesn’t care what measures he has to take so long as his job gets done and he gets the answers he wants. it’s a sort of self-preserving mindset, putting himself above the safety of others. kaeya’s trying to protect himself, which makes sense with all he’s been through. he doesn’t want to be hurt, and instead finds pleasure in threatening harm upon others. it’s twisted, sure, but it’s because he can only trust himself in a world that he believes is out to get him. he’s got as many enemies—if not more—as he does allies; of course kaeya focuses on protecting himself first, whether physically or through keeping his secrets, well, secret.

his most obvious traumatic effect is definitely his alcoholism. but he uses it as a distraction, not just to wallow in self-pity. this is seen again in his story, particularly in story 3. it’s found that when his favorite drink, death after noon, is out of season, mondstadt’s crime rate is decreased drastically. at face value, this just means kaeya spends more time working when death after noon is low in supply. but kaeya doesn’t skip work to go to taverns; it’s already been established he takes his job very seriously, so this means he actually patrols and tracks down threats while off work when he can’t indulge in his favorite alcoholic drink. he doesn’t get drunk simply because he’s depressed. if he did, there wouldn’t be a drop in incidents when death after noon is out of season. no, kaeya uses both the alcohol and fighting to distract himself. after all, it’s a little hard to think about feeling sad when you’re either drunk out of your mind or fighting for your life.

despite being so secretive, kaeya gives us glimpses of his true emotions from time to time. as previously mentioned, his flirty attitude is nothing more than a mask to hide how he really feels; and kaeya is terribly, terribly lonely. that may be why he seems so extroverted. constantly being around people should, logically, drive away that feeling, but it doesn’t work like that. when he talks with the player, he frequently expresses disappointment when you have to leave. each time, though, he dampens the weight of his words with playful or flirty language. he’s lonely, but doesn’t want you to know that, like he’s afraid of asking you to stay. he takes the seriousness of his feelings, and basically bends it into some sort of lighthearted joke. kaeya hides his true feelings—negative feelings, to be exact—so that he doesn’t bother anyone. which is, again, something that happens with traumatized people. he displays that hesitance to reveal his true feelings, because there’s a shame or guilt that comes with his past. he doesn’t want to bother others or hold them back, so he puts on a smile and amps up the charisma. one other very important thing—but very small detail—i would like to note is his feelings toward family. his fell apart not even once, but twice, and kaeya still holds familial relationships in high regard. we know he doesn’t exactly care how he goes about getting his work done. he doesn’t pay attention to what’s “right” or “wrong,” so long as he gets what he needs. but one of his informants, vile, notes that the cavalry captain has one exception: he won’t work with those who threaten others’ families. in fact, kaeya claims those who do should be hunted down and destroyed. even though his own families have caused him so much pain—and he ended up estranged from both—he still understands the importance of having people who love you in your life. because he didn’t get that.

kaeya’s not evil. ultimately, as a knight of favonius, his goal is to protect others, because no one was there to protect him. and because no one was there to protect him, because he’s been hurt time and time again by people who were supposed to love him, kaeya has taken to protecting himself. he hides any and all negative feelings with a charismatic, friendly façade, because he thinks it’ll drive away his persistent loneliness. any “bad” actions of his were hardly his fault; he was forced into a life of secrecy and lies, and then abandoned by the first people who truly loved him. kaeya’s a multi-faceted, tragic character, one that toes the line between good and evil, and that’s what makes him so interesting.

[agentnico]

Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) Review

It all started with Sonic’s teeth. Ever since fans successfully bullied a studio into reanimating their titular hedgehog character after the abomination shown in the first trailer, fans realised that rallying together (on Twitter) can make a difference. So you’d think it would mean we could all come together to restore world peace and get rid of racism, injustice, poverty, war and negativity of all kind? Nope, nope it does not. But at least we get a better version of a bad DC movie that came out in 2017. I mean, baby steps I guess.

Plot: Fuelled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists newfound ally Diana Prince to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes -- Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and the Flash -- it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.

I recall my younger simpler self in 2017 at the early age of 20 soon to be 21, sitting down and watching the new Justice League film with zero to no expectations, as by that point the DC Extended Universe was a trainwreck and was a franchise that was literally falling apart before out unblinking red hay fever filled eyes. However, after watching Justice League I was baffled at the fact that I still managed to be disappointed after having zero expectations! With zero expectations this film took me into the minuses, and we all know I’m not great at mathematics so boy are we in the danger zone when we hit the minuses! Looking back at my review of the film back then, I used extreme yet fitting comments like “generic”, “predictable” “messy” and plain “dogsh*t”. Which is what it was. 2017′s Justice League is exactly how I’d imagine a dog’s poop would look if it was turned into an abstract film! It was truly abysmal. After that I thought I’d never have to talk about this film again. How wrong I was. But, in a rare turn of tables, I am glad that I was wrong...

A little history lesson first. Alright, settle down kids, settle down.... Rob, put the paper plane down, do not throw it, I said DON’T THROW IT! NO! Stop! Stupid child!! Headteacher’s office right now! Also, say hi to your mother for me, okay? I’m having brunch with her on Saturday and you better not be there as you should be doing your homework watching the 4 hour cut of Justice League and questioning your life choices!! Anyway, now let’s have ourselves a history lesson. The topic is - What In The Flying Fudge Happened Behind-The-Scenes Of Justice League For DUMMIES: Condensed Edition. A really condensed version as honestly none of us have the attention span to read loads and I’m probably losing the vast majority of you due to this overlong rambling session. So anyway, to the last couple of readers left, here we go! Following the success of Man of Steel, Warner Bros. gave Zack Snyder the reigns to oversee and create a DC cinematic universe to rival the success of Marvel. And so came Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, which turned out to be a bit of a hodgepodge, receiving mixed to negative reviews and though was a box office success, earned diminishing results to what Warner Bros. originally anticipated. However, by the time Batman V Superman released, Zack Snyder was already hard at work on the big superhero team up film Justice League (which was meant to set up many characters and future films for the DCEU) with a lot of filming already underway, so Warner Bros. couldn’t particularly pump the breaks on it by that point, even though they evidently lost trust in the Snyder formula. To be honest, at that point I too lost trust in Snyder’s vision and the DCEU as a whole, but my opinion doesn’t class for a single dime, whilst the opinions of Warner Bros. executives make millions, so there aren’t any hard feelings on my behalf for them not enquiring on my thoughts. Anyway, midway through production Zack Snyder was hit with a family tragedy with his daughter committing suicide, so Snyder naturally had to depart the project to be with his family during this grieving time. Warner Bros. had the option to pause production and await for Snyder’s return, or progress at their own accord. Naturally they decided to do their own thing cause they are a business and want that dollar dollar bill baby!! So they hired Joss Whedon who was riding fresh off the success of two Avengers movies and obviously had experience in cinematic universes and such, to rework the Justice League movie by condensing it into a 2 hour film (from the over 4 hour material that Snyder shot) and reshoot scenes to fit the smaller runtime. So you cannot particularly blame Whedon for taking out so many great scenes as he had a contract to fulfil with Warner Bros, but then you look at the many forced jokes and unnecessary reshot scenes and you realise how self-indulgent Joss Whedon was during filming, as he basically was spitting on everything Snyder did and was trying to do his own thing. Low and behold, the mess that is the 2017 movie is created, where its the visions and creative minds of two director with evidently different styles clashing and not really mixing well at all, and as such we have a messy movie that doesn’t really make sense and is a bit of a middle finger to DC fans and honestly everyone and all. Also, there was that little aspect of Henry Cavill’s deformed upper lip due to the fact that during reshoots he had a moustache that he’d grown and was contractually obligated to have for his Mission Impossible role, so the visual effects team had to digitally remove it in post production and the result is, well, see for yourself...

Yes, they made the dashing handsome my-sexuality-questioning Henry Cavill look stupid, and that is UNFORGIVABLE. Funny, yes, very funny but unforgivable!! So for this and many other reasons the 2017 film turned out horribly. Then after that many months later, Zack Snyder and cast and crew members began teasing of this mythical version of the movie that was befit of Snyder’s original vision. You see, apparently before he left the project, Snyder actually filmed everything he wanted and it was only awaiting to be reworked with visual effects and edited properly, but then Whedon came in with his scissors and cut everything mercilessly with a cheeky grin and his ginger beard. Speaking of his ginger beard, is Joss Whedon Irish? Or has Irish roots? Honestly, I would Google it, but wait, I don’t think I really care. So anyway, Snyder still had all of his filmed scenes saved on his ridiculously oversized hard drive just waiting to be looked at again. This is where the fandom did its magic by creating a Twitter hashtag #ReleaseTheSnyderCut and began spam posting for Warner Bros. to let Zack Snyder release what he originally intended to. Honestly, who would have thunk it, but this actually worked!! Warner Bros. allowed this, and not only that, but gave Snyder an additional $70 million to finish up the visual effects as well as to film a couple of additional sequences and gave it the prestigious honour to debut it on HBO Max, so as to boost the subscriber rating on Warner Bros. new streaming service. And here we are.

Honestly, I thought seeing this Director’s Cut of sorts wouldn’t bring much to the table as I didn’t believe that a film that was so broken had originally been in any way good. After finishing this 4 hour Snyder vision I must admit though that I was pleasantly surprised. Completely baffled by the studio and Joss Whedon, but really happy for Zack Snyder. The guy was fighting for it and finally was able to accomplish and bring out his true original vision, and though Zack Snyder’s Justice League has its flaws, its so much better than what we got in 2017, and in fact is a soaring science fiction sci-fi epic that literally feels epic!! It takes time establishing the characters and every single plot point as well as building out this rich mythology of this world of the DC Extended Universe, and so as you move into the second half of the film, there’s a feeling of pay off. You actually care about the characters and understand the plot points and it doesn’t feel rushed. Its truly astounding that there are producers out there who thought it was a good idea to get rid of all of that and instead bring out whatever the heck Joss Whedon did with the 2017 version. Look, I quite enjoy Joss Whedon’s work, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel to Cabin in the Woods and his work on Marvel, the guy obviously has a talent, but also he obviously does not belong to the dark and brooding style of DC. Zack Snyder on the other hand, though makes his mistakes, truly embraces the epic feel of the DC material. And it seems once you give Snyder enough time and space, he can actually bring out something like this:

The main characters are all given so much more to do, or at least those that got side-lined in the 2017 version are given more to do here. One of my complaints with the original was how pointless the League turns out to be. Basically in the theatrical version the main team all end up being useless and only once Superman shows up he saves everyone’s asses and literally does EVERYTHING. Might as well have called the film Man of Steel 2 (feat. Justice League). However in this new version, every main character serves a purpose. Well most of them do at least. Cyborg and Flash are much more compelling characters with more layers and backstory, and in fact are a prime reason to defeating the great evil in the end. You now understand why Cyborg actor Ray Fisher was pissed at Joss Whedon, as the guy literally got rid of his best stuff. Superman strikes a cool black suit and is still powerful, however as the finale shows, he isn’t all-powerful and does need the help of the rest of the team. Wonder Woman gets a lot more to do in this theatrical cut, and in fact this is probably Gal Gadot’s best performance as Wonder Woman and she really shows herself as a powerful female superhero! Aquaman’s role stays largely unchanged, however to be honest Jason Momoa’s character was one of the only ones who didn’t suffer in the theatrical cut. That’s unsurprising seeing as Jason Momoa is such a naturally cool dude! A big panda that is friendly in real life, but when necessary can turn into a roaring bear. To be honest, the only League member that ends up a bit pointless is actually Batman. He still serves a purpose in the film in that he’s the one who assembles the team, but otherwise the rest of the group is so overpowered compared to him that in the end you do kind of think that he doesn’t really belong there. Still, Ben Affleck is great in the role and it’s a shame we won’t see much of him past Flashpoint film that will be released in the next few years.

There are a lot of characters in this film and one can still say the movie is overstuffed, but also seeing as the movie was originally intended to spring board the DCEU properly, all these teases are actually welcome. There are an abundance of cameos, and to be honest so many characters are so well cast that you do end up wishing that Snyder was given the opportunity to make his entire Justice League planned trilogy, but nevertheless at least we have this. There are truly an abundance of cool appearances here, from the menacing villain Darkseid (played by Ray Porter) to Willem Dafoe doing what Dafoe does best, only in this case underwater and I’m certain that’s gonna span many comparison memes with The Lighthouse. Joe Morton as Cyborg’s dad is given a lot more to do here and in fact is pivotal towards building up Cyborg into the important character that he is. There’s also a cameo from Jared Leto’s Joker, who in some ways redeems himself after his appearance in Suicide Squad. Also, we need to talk about Steppenwolf, who’s the main baddie in this film. In the theatrical cut the guy was the most generic one-note villain who also looked like a PS2 character. It was honestly embarrassing the way he was animated. Luckily in this version he’s been put through enough Skyrim mods to looks much more intimidating and is also given a better motivation. As we find out, the reason he does what he does is because he wants to go home. He’s been banished and he simply wants to earn his place back home, so it’s actually kind of sweet. Steppenwolf is a sweetie. I mean, yeah, he wants to destroy half of the world to fulfil his dream, but hey, haven’t we all taken something extreme measures to get what we want?

The film is far from perfect though. At the end of the day, the movie is just about a guy hunting down a bunch of magical boxes. That was the premise of the theatrical cut and its the same here too. Yes, there is more substance and gravitas to the proceedings, but at the end of the day the story doesn’t really surprise much. And with the entire thing running at 4 hours, it is definitely too long and there is the element where there is simply too much in this thing. Also visually, though the movie has plenty of gorgeous shots and Zack Snyder’s signature slow motion sequences are on full display here, there are still many sequences where the CGI and green screen are super obvious and look really fake. That being said there’s still so much visual goodness in this, and also I have to mention Junkie XL’s new music score that does reiterate the epic feel of this movie, in comparison to Danny Elfman’s weak uninspiring notes in the theatrical cut.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is a massive surprise and completely changes the perception of what we saw in the original 2017 theatrical cut. It’s a sprawling massive adventure that’s a dream come true for any comic book fan. It shows how vital film editing is, and how important it is to have a cohesive plan when making a movie. Gone too are the silly forced jokes, and though there is still some humour here, it feels more grounded and fit of the setting and scenario. This is Snyder’s vision through and through, and though at times it is clunky, it overall is incredible to behold, as it’s this one guy’s mind and his love for the DC lore. It’s a credible achievement, and I’m actually sentimentally happy for Snyder that he finally managed to complete this. He even during the credits dedicates this to his daughter Autumn that passed away, and I found that to be truly bittersweet. Justice has indeed been served.

Overall score: 7/10

[absolutepx]

So I've been playing Death Stranding lately. Wait, that's not what this post is about. Well, it kind of is. Hang on. What is Death Stranding about?

A: Norman Reedus getting bare ass naked B. Sneaking around ghosts with the help of your sidekick, an actual baby C: Carrying 50 Amazon packages up a hill while trying to not topple over D: Waking up in the morning and drinking 5 Monster Energy™ for breakfast

For those following along at home, the answer is actually none of the above. Despite the set dressing being bizarre to the point of near absurdity, what the game is actually about, like thematically, is actually really simple.

See, the development of Death Stranding was actually quite a trip. Hideo Kojima is the video game world's equivalent of an auteur director. He has a very recognizable personal style. It's thoroughly horny – he caught a bunch of shit for the design of Quiet in MGSV, but like, a lot of Kojima characters are just -like that-, including the dudes. Also, this is going to possibly be important later.

Anyway, so Kojima was going to do a rebootmakequel of Silent Hill, and the demo actually made it to the PS store and I could actually write a whole side essay about why P.T. (it was called P.T. for some reason btw) was brilliant game design for how it used the same hallway over and over and it was somehow beneficial to the overall feeling of horror. So Konami it turns out kinda sucks nowadays and they like, fired Kojima (they were huge dicks about it behind closed doors, too) and scrapped the project and kicked him out on the street and kept the Metal Gear series which was his baby (literally the baby in the sink in P.T., he snuck a bunch of messaging about the Konami situation into the demo like a breakup album) and Kojima would go on to form his own studio and poach some of the people who worked with him to boot. So the thing about Kojima is this: he's got a reputation for already putting some wild shit in his games, like a ladder that takes like 10 real time minutes to climb in MGS3 for dramatic effect, and a boss in MGS3 that summons the ghosts of all the people you were too lazy to stealth past and killed, or a sniper battle with a really old guy that he wanted to have last two weeks or some shit until he died of old age but he was "told that "this was impossible and not recommended." That is a real quote I just looked up. So he's coming off the heels of making this hugely successful game with MGSV and the hype of the P.T. Demo and he fucking, he like took all the people that were going to be working on P.T. Along like Guillermo Del Toro was going to co-write it and Norman Reedus was going to star in it, and he's like, I'm going to make this game called Death Stranding. And the first trailer comes out for it and it's completely nuts. Norman Reedus wakes up naked on a beach crying with a baby and there are floating people in the sky? So we're all like hooooooly shit, there's no one to tell him "this is impossible and not recommended" anymore. What's he going to make now!?

So the whole time the game is in development I keep seeing these tweets where it'll be like, Kojima and one of his homies smiling with some saccharine message about being spiritual warriors and changing the world. And not just Del Toro and Reedus, there was Mads Mikkelsen (another guy Kojima puts in the game just because he apparently loves him), and the band Chvches, and also like, Keanu Reeves at one point? You know how everyone has just kind of accepted that Keanu is a being of light? Here he was endorsing Kojima. The hype was pretty confused and frantic.

The game eventually comes out. A lot of game journos hate it because I think there was this expectation it was going to be, you know, less weird and have more of the conventional structure of a video game. That's not to say the average gamer wasn't also dismissive of it, but I think on the ground level there was more of an understanding that like, yeah, Kojima just be like that sometimes.

Because the game was a timed console exclusive and your homie don't play like that, I spent the first year or so cautiously viewing Death Stranding from a distance. I wasn't sure I was going to like it – except for being really impressed with P.T., I wasn't actually a big fan of Kojima's games as games – but I -was- sure that I was going to buy it, because of the way Konami fucked him over, just out of support. And the shit I was hearing was really out there. The primary mode of gameplay is just delivery packages. You collect Norman Reedus' bathwater and pee and use it as grenades. You get a motorcycle that looks like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus, and when you sit on it, his character in the game says "Wow, this thing is like the one from AMC's The Ride with Norman Reedus!"

But I didn't really want to know that much about it. Something has that much fucking crazy person energy, you want to go in mostly blind, right? So maybe people just weren't talking about this, or maybe I wasn't seeing it, but then I watched Girlfriend Reviews' video about it and they came right out and said it (link provided if you want to hear Shelby say it more articulately than me):

Death Stranding is basically about the exact opposite of Twitter. It's about remembering how to be kind to each other, how to reconnect in a world where people are so often hostile to each other by default. Prophetically, it's about a world where people are afraid to go outside or touch other people and how damaging that is. It's not a game about carrying packages, it's a game about helping people by being brave enough to walk through a wasteland carrying their burdens because they can't. It's about rebuilding the lost connections between people, about restoring roads and giving people hope. I bet, for Kojima and the people close to him, it's about how to answer hostility with compassion. You can't kill people in Death Stranding. You can and are absolutely encouraged to fucking throw hands with people sometimes, but all the tools and weapons are nonlethal. So I think Kojima took all the Twitter heat he got over the Quiet nontroversy, and all the feelings of isolation he had from Konami separating him from his team during the end of the development of MGSV, and all the support and encouragement he got from his bros Del Toro and Mads and the rest, and decided to channel that into making a game that was a statement about all of it. And sure, it's a little heavy handed, and sure, it's a little saccharine, and sure, the gameplay sometimes borders on miserable in service of creating emotional payoffs. For me, especially in 2020, this message is a huge success. Social media should be an opportunity for all of us to feel more connected to each other, yet primarily it feels like one of the main forces driving people apart. Why is that? Why is the internet of today such a hostile place? I'm old enough to remember web 1.0: I can haz cheezburger memes; YTMND; the early wild west days of Youtube... What happened to us? I've thrown the blame at Twitter in the past, and I think the architecture of the user experience on Twitter is absolutely a big piece of the puzzle, because it fosters negative interactions. But in terms of the behavior, people have observed that 2018 Twitter was actually almost exactly like 2014 Tumblr. (For the record, Tumblr is now one of the chillest places left on the internet, because so few fucks are left to give.)

I think part of it is the anonymity. The dehumanizing disconnection of the separation of screens and miles. Louis CK, before he was cancelled, had a great point about cyberbullying, and why it's so much more savage than kids are IRL. When you pick on someone in person and you are confronted with seeing the pain you caused them, for most sane people it causes negative feedback and you become disgusted with your actions and eventually learn to stop being a shithead. Online, at best you can "break the wrist, walk away".

At worst, you can become addicted to "clout chasing" and the psychological thrill of being cheered on by your social ingroup. It's even worse if you feel like it's not bullying and your actions are justified because whoever you've targeted is a bad person so you don't have to feel bad about what you do to them. This is where reductive, unhelpful catchphrases like "punch a nazi" come in. For every argument, one or both sides have convinced themselves that the other side is subhuman because their beliefs are so disgusting. And sometimes it's even true! A lot of times, especially these days, people really are acting like animals or worse online. Entire disinformation engines are roaring day and night, churning out garbage and cluttering the social consciousness. (Kojima talked about this bit, too, way back in MGS2. As if I wasn't already in danger of losing my thread through this.)

The human brain was not built to live like this. You can't wake up every morning, roll over and open your phone, and be immediately faced with a tidal wave of anger and indignity. It wasn't built to be aware of fully how horrible the world is at any moment ALL AT ONCE, ALL THE TIME. And you will be. Because of another way that our brain works – the way we are more likely to share negative opinions. And because of the cottage industry built on farming outrage clicks, and because of constant performative activism.

It's not that I don't agree that being informed is important.

It's not that I don't agree that the causes people get riled up about are important.

They are. They absolutely are.

But we can't keep living like this. The constant, unending flood of tragedy, arguments, and hot takes. How much of the negativity we associate with online culture is the product of this feedback loop? What if the rise of doomer culture has been, if not entirely created by, has been nourished and exacerbated by our hostile attitudes toward each other?  Incels and TERFs, white supremacists, radfems, tankies and Trumpers – it seems like on every side of every issue, there are people simultaneously getting it wrong in multiple directions at once and there are more being radicalized every day. They are the toxic waste left behind by the state of discourse. And any hill is a hill worth dying on.

So what am I actually advocating? I don't know. There are a lot of fights going on right now that are important and we can't just climb into bunkers and ignore our problems hoping that Norman Reedus and his fine ass are going to leave the shit we need on our doorsteps. We need to find the strength to carry those hypothetical packages for ourselves sometimes - and hopefully, for others as well. Humans are social creatures. We need interaction and enrichment.

We need love.

So just try to remember the connections between humanity. Try to put more good stuff into the world when you can. Share more shitposts and memes. Tell your friends and family that you love them. Share good news when you hear it. Go on a weird fucking tangent about Death Stranding. Find a way to "be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes."

[a-crimson-lion]

A Look At Bakudeku’s Development (Based On That One Instagram Post): A Photo-Narrative Analysis

Word Count: 4,287 (Yikes…)

[This got long. Like, REALLY long. Don't expect too many colors. There's a lot to get through...]

For those out of the loop, I recently came across this Instagram post during unhealthy hours in the morning. The purpose of this post, I’d assume, was to debunk any negativity aimed at the Bakudeku dynamic/ship, claiming it was indeed not abusive and that the antis in question are ignoring canon in favor of playing Bakugo’s suicide instigation on repeat. Before addressing the post in question, I would like to state two things:

I am not stuck on Chapter/Episode 1 in the series. I have been caught up proper with every story arc up to the JT Training Arc and am roughly familiar with everything past that point. I don’t just take Katsuki’s now essentially forgotten suicide instigation into account; I’m taking every part of his actions well beyond that moment and how they reflect on him, internally justified or otherwise.

While I’m among the people who believe that Bakudeku as of the latest incarnation of the manga (up to Ch. 280) is indeed abusive, I am open to discussions on why it is not. In any case, however, I cannot ignore the fact that the dynamic/ship is incredibly problematic besides the skeletons in both Izuku and Katsuki’s closets.

So, in order to address this issue to the best of my half-awake brain’s abilities, I will review the screenshots within said post and break down how they factor into the Bakudeku dynamic and the overall development. Be aware that there are some manga and movie spoilers, and this is just MY OPINION. I could be wrong, and I’m okay with that. If you wanna talk without patronizing me, the comments are open. I also apologize in advance if I myself come of as patronizing. All the screenshots I’ll be discussing can be found in the video link above (or here).

Well then, no point in beating around the bush...

1) Izuku Taking Katsuki Out Of The Final Exam Gate (Anime Screenshot)

The first piece of “evidence” used to show the merit of Bakudeku comes from the Final Exam arc, shortly after Katsuki succumbs to All Might’s assault, only for Izuku to come in and deck the #1 Hero in order to grab Katsuki and carry him to safety, allowing them both to pass.

However, this photo marks a recurring trend throughout some of the other photos: they speak more about IZUKU as a character than Izuku AND Katsuki.

Izuku getting to save Katsuki is a major development… for Izuku. One that we’ve seen before. Think about it. The first time Izuku saves Katsuki towards the beginning of the exam, he has to punch Katsuki in the face because he was considering throwing the match just for working with Izuku. And after he’s been saved, Katsuki blows up (figuratively and literally) before aggressively kabedoning him. In this scene though? Katsuki got knocked the f*** out, so he really has no room to protest if Izuku comes in to save him a second time.

Plus, this isn’t really anything NEW with Izuku. We know that he’s aware in an abstract sense that what Katsuki did to him was “wrong,” but he doesn’t hold a grudge or any animosity to him towards that. He’s one of Katsuki’s biggest defenders and supporters, assuming Katsuki allows it. So really, him saving Katsuki isn’t really surprising or a major step forward, ‘cause he was always willing to do it from the get go. And again, Katsuki isn’t conscious during his second rescue, so we don’t really know if he would have let Izuku save him again or if he would have protested.

There’s nothing new here, and nothing balanced to the overall dynamic. Just Izuku being Izuku.

2) All Might Acknowledges The New Bakudeku Rivalry (Anime Screenshot)

Deku vs Kacchan 2 was a big moment for the Bakudeku dynamic. I’m not saying it’s a positive moment, nor am I saying it was necessary, but it was big. And in the aftermath of that fight, where Izuku and Katsuki are having a back and forth, All Might thinks to himself that the two have become true rivals now, or something along those lines. And it’s nice that he’s willing to spell this out for the audience and all, but uh…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: show, don’t tell.

All Might is essentially telling us that Izuku and Katsuki are rivals now. What does the story have to show for it? A brief conversation during their house arrest, followed by a massive stall due to the Shie Hassaikai Arc and Cultural Festival Arc (albeit with one more instance we’ll cover later), and then what essentially equates to Katsuki yelling at Izuku a lot during the Joint Training Arc.

...that’s ...not much.

And yeah, you could expect me to be a good bean to the author and wait until the later arcs, but even then, the execution… just falls kinda flat, at least for me. Going back to that particular moment with All Might’s thought process, it kind of reminds me of Eraserhead essentially acting as a mouthpiece for the Ochako vs Katsuki fight during the Sports Festival, but that’s a can of worms I won’t be indulging today.

What I’m getting at is this: All Might letting the audience know that Bakudeku have reached rival status is great! Now if only the series could deliver more on that...

3) Standing With Two One For Alls (Heroes Rising)

Okay, seriously, if you haven’t seen Heroes Rising yet, I implore you, GO. WATCH IT. It is an incredible film and I would recommend it with warm words. And I’ll admit, it gives us a better incarnation of Bakudeku compared to the rest of the series.

Yes, I said “better,” not “great.”

Look, I’m all for Izuku and Katsuki working past their differences and the clusterf*** that was their childhood, and maybe Horikoshi not being as integrally involved with the film’s writing as people think he is has something to do with it, but uh… you do not say “put myself as low as to working with Deku” or something like that and expect to be casually tossed aside, at least if you’re me. And while I’m glad there was some genuine emotional tension as Izuku gave Katsuki OFA, some part about it feels… off. Like, nothing was really truly resolved. Katsuki wasn’t given OFA as a sign of forgiveness, as an acknowledgement. Katsuki was given OFA because there was an AFO level villain about to wreck the place and kill some peeps and oh look, the narrative made it so that Katsuki was the only convenient holder around! It kinda stings when you look at it that way.

Not that it matters, because a big thing most people forget is that at the end of this movie, THE ENTIRE THING IS ESSENTIALLY SWIPED ACROSS THE DESK AND ON THE FLOOR. Even if it was going to have some level of effort towards the development of the dynamic, that effort is essentially GONE because Katsuki doesn’t remember SQUAT, and what happens to OFA after the fight is NEVER DISCUSSED. It’s just a hard reset, BOOM, back to normal. *Sigh*

Really, the whole double OFA thing was for convenience, less so for any emotional leveling up that could have been done. And even then, Izuku is still somehow the one putting more emotional input into the entire thing than Katsuki.

4) “I Thought You Were Gonna Get Ahead Of Me!” (Anime Screenshot)

Katsuki’s methods of motivation are… admittedly not for everyone. They seem to work fine for Izuku, as seen sometime after the Cultural Festival Arc, but again, that’s just Izuku. We know how he takes Katsuki’s words and turns it into motivation, but why does Katsuki bother at all?

Well, maybe this comes with desperately trying to find reasons to like a character but progressively despising him and his narrative placement more and more as time progresses, but here’s my angle on it: Katsuki just doesn’t want Izuku dragging his weight for nothing.

Keep in mind, we’re talking about the same Katsuki who held a grudge against Shoto for holding back during the Sports Festival. The same Katsuki who wanted the #1 Hero to go all out and would continuously press to fight him. The same Katsuki who wanted to fight a deadly villain even after being instructed to get back to camp for his own safety. The same Katsuki who challenged Izuku to a fight to finally determine where the gap was, and who was frustrated when he won because the power Izuku possessed was All Might’s, so clearly he shouldn’t have lost.

In short, Katsuki doesn’t like it when people don’t give it their all. And I believe it’s been stated once or twice that once Izuku makes One For All his own, there’s a good chance they’re gonna fight again. So it’s in Katsuki’s best interest to make sure Izuku isn’t half-assing anything, because he wants to prove he can beat Izuku at his best, thus proving that KATSUKI is the best.

So it’s less so for Izuku’s benefit as it is for Katsuki’s own.

5) One Giant Leap (Heroes Rising)

Arguably one of the best moments of the entire Heroes Rising film amongst the fandom is the big handhold scene between Katsuki and Izuku as they make a last gambit effort to take down Nine with two One for Alls. Admittedly this is one of the best if not the best moment throughout the entire progression of the Bakudeku dynamic thus far. I’ll give it that much.

...which makes it all the more frustrating because again: MIND. WIPE. The audience knows it happened, but in canon we never know if Izuku discusses it with Katsuki or if anyone else was aware of the moment in greater specificity. IT ESSENTIALLY NEVER HAPPENED, and I’m starting to legitimately wonder whether or not it was for the best...

6) Datte Atashi No Hero (Anime Screenshot)

First off: how? Second off: huh?

Believe me, the second ending of Season 3 is an absolute bop, don’t get me wrong, but uh… again, it provides NOTHING balanced for Bakudeku, once again relying on Izuku’s perspective on the entire matter. I once read an interesting meta about this ending and how it could be interpreted (take this with a grain of salt), but the biggest contender is that this is in fact Izuku’s fantasy. Think about it:

Izuku is a humble traveling warrior, with nothing to distinguish himself in his own opinion.

Ochako is a magician because she’s alien to Izuku, an unheard of phenomenon.

Tenya being a knight, Shoto being a prince, and Momo being a warrior princess all correlates to their high standings in society, heroic or otherwise.

The reason Katsuki is a barbarian king is because he’s familiar to Izuku in an ancient sense; he’s known him for a long time. The list goes on, but you get the jist.

With this in mind, it’s not difficult to understand that even Katsuki willing to work with Izuku would be another aspect of Izuku’s fantasy: to be able to stand beside his childhood friend once more. And remember the ending of that scene, when Izuku does that big sword slash? That’s him having fully mastered OFA. Both are things that could happen given the manga’s recent direction, but still have yet to happen because this is, again, a fantasy.

And apparently Datte Atatshi No Hero is a reflection on Izuku’s feelings towards Katsuki. Take that as you will, but again, this does not speak for Bakudeku as a whole. Just Izuku’s feelings on the matter.

7) Win to Save, Save to Win (Manga Screenshot)

Since I’ve already penned myself into a short story at this point, might as well take the time to look at this famous phrase from the story.

Personally, I consider it bulls***. It harms both characters overall; yes, I said both. It excuses Katsuki’s need to be a blunt powerhouse that only targets villains, and it redundantly demands Izuku do more of what he was already doing, albeit with less sympathy. I know it sounds corny to say saving is more important than winning, but in the heat of the moment, what gets to the civilians in danger more often? Seeing a guy in a cape deck the latest disaster right in front of them or from a distance? Or said cape guy risking life and limb making sure that this person gets to see life another day?

There’s no perfect answer to it, but that’s my stance.

And this quote, “Win to save, save to win,” justifies the one thing that keeps Katsuki from truly outgrowing his past: his need to be the best. If winning is on the same level then saving, and Izuku has an innate capacity to save, then that means it’s okay for Katsuki to have to win all the time, right?

No. It’s not. And that’s not speaking for all the “Gary Stu” crap, either.

Because being pressured into being the best is what caused Katsuki to hate any kindness offered to him by Izuku. The desire to be the best had him bully Izuku for a decade to ensure that Izuku remained the loser and Katsuki remained the winner. That desire characterizes arguably the worst aspects of Katsuki’s character, and those aspects aren’t gonna fly in the Pro Hero world. Because if Nana Shimura, Shota Aizawa, the Pussycats, Mirio, Sir Nighteye, and a handful of other incidents have taught us anything, it’s that even at their best efforts, heroes don’t win all the time.

Katsuki needs to learn this, or it will crush him in the long term. But he hasn’t. The narrative has kept letting him rack up wins, and his current actions in the manga were spurred on by the fact that he still has yet to truly take a loss.

Say what you will, but I don’t like this line. For what it says about Izuku or Katsuki.

8) The Only One Who Can Accept His Feelings… (Anime Screenshot)

Me @ #7: Wanna see me go off?

Me @ #8: Wanna see me do it again?

Izuku’s perspective on the entire Bakudeku situation is a major reason why most fans condone it. “Izuku doesn’t appear obviously bothered by Katsuki, so that clearly means it’s not abusive/problematic, so just shut up!” or something like that. Well, I’m no psychologist, so I won’t go into a spiel about people ignoring their pain for the sake of others or people trying to excuse others in order to place fault on themselves whether or not it be accurate.

Really, all I can say is that NONE OF THIS should be Izuku’s responsibility.

I’m not blaming this on Izuku because he hasn’t had actual friends or a healthy support system in a long while, but the fact that he decides to take on and enable Katsuki in his element just… doesn’t sit well with me. The logical conclusion would be talking, not throwing hands. I don’t care if they’re “distressed teenagers,” neither of them should be doing this, and Katsuki was fully aware that the teachers would stop them in the first place; that’s not simply adults meddling in what isn’t their business. Katsuki should have really figured out by now that maybe the best course of action is to actually vent to someone without blowing their face off, and I get that he’s absolute s*** at feelings, but really, that’s more of a red flag that he needs to actually get help. And if you think a little too hard on Izuku’s feelings of the matter, well…

Imagine being ostracized for so long that you lose all sense of self worth.

Imagine being told time and again that your worthless, which checks out for you because clearly if your worthless, the guy that enabled that mindset is obviously better than you, and he’s entitled to use you for his own ends.

That’s what I get from this scene.

And again, this is all from IZUKU at this point; virtually NOTHING from Katsuki.

9) Double Detroit Smash (Heroes Rising)

I’ve already said my piece about the film. At this point, it’s beating a dead horse with a stick. Moving on.

10) Word of God (Miscellaneous)

Here’s the thing about Word of God in fandom: the general consensus is that it’s nice to get confirmation from a credible source, but unless it is portrayed in canon, it’s just more words which may or may not be true.

In this case, Kohei Horikoshi, the mangaka for BNHA, is saying that eventually, Katsuki will have to apologize to Izuku. Eventually.

As in, it still hasn’t happened yet.

As in, Katsuki still has yet to decide that what he did in the past was wrong and he should try to fix it.

As in, it currently shows no bearing towards Katsuki’s current character nor the overall Bakudeku dynamic.

Sure, it MIGHT happen, but in another interview (or mayhaps it’s the same one), Horikoshi stated that Katsuki originally wasn’t intended to get as much screen time as he did. Both of these situations are different of course, but with the recent turbulence of the War Arc shaking up the manga, is it really so hard to believe that an apology might slip away from Katsuki’s thought process?

On the bright side, an apology could happen. But until it’s canon, then it’s only a possibility, and therefore can’t be used fully for the intended argument.

11) X-Catapult Handhold (Heroes Rising)

I bet some people working on the movie and some fans on the movie felt spoiled when they included not one, but two handholding scenes for Izuku and Katsuki.

And while the first handhold is certainly a marvel of battle tactics, again, there isn’t much else going on with it. Is it nice to see Katsuki working with Izuku again? Yes, but contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t go past that. Katsuki’s just willing to work with Izuku, full stop. He’d probably be willing to work with anyone because Nine is f***ing tank. And sure, getting a handhold tease is nice, but it’s only to facilitate Katsuki’s subsequent yeeting of Izuku at Nine in an attempt to do damage. Nothing more pressing about the circumstances of their past or anything like that.

12) A Bit of Advice (Anime Screenshot)

Look, this is one of the tamer, better looks at Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship. He’s willing to put his pride aside and give Izuku some advice. But remember what I said earlier in #4?

It’s not just to make sure Izuku gets better, but so Katsuki can feel like it’s a complete win when he beats his ass.

And if we take the line “It pisses me off” into account, we can look at that flaw from the same angle. Remember, Izuku has All Might’s power, the #1 Hero’s power. To Katsuki, that means he shouldn’t have the luxury of making mistakes. But Izuku does. He makes mistakes, and Katsuki sees them and he doesn’t get to exploit them. He still wins, but not because of those mistakes. And part of that pisses Katsuki off. Izuku shouldn’t get to slack. So, Katsuki gives him some advice. Advice that will no doubt help Izuku in the long run, for his (and Katuki’s) sakes. It’s a good outcome from a not very good reason...

13) Have You Made That Borrowed Power Your Own? (Manga Screenshot)

Yeah, no.

I don’t care if Izuku is used to this treatment, it still isn’t reinforcing an overall positive tone.

I don’t care if Katsuki acknowledges at some level that Izuku’s power is becoming his own, he still has the gall to say it was no wonder he passed BECAUSE of his power. Which may be true, but it’s not like Izuku was relying on it 100%, and lowkey comes off as Quirkist.

All it tells me is that Katsuki is starting to acknowledge Izuku, in the “gadfly I can’t get off my back” sort of way. Is this the “best development” y’all are rooting for? Basic acknowledgement of another human being?

14) Outta My Way Punk! (Manga Screenshot)

Katsuki reflexively tells Izuku to get out of his way.

Izuku is used to it, again, that does not excuse it.

Once again, Katsuki reverts back to his usual behavior instead of showing a more subtle approach to show the audience that maybe he’s changing beyond what a chorus of other characters saying “he’s changed!” has to offer.

...even if it’s not abusive, you can’t really say that’s a “good” relationship, either.

15) Blackwhip Training (Manga Screenshot)

Katsuki willing to train with Izuku to help him master his Quirk(s) is nice.

Still blatantly in his element with lots of needless yelling and dominance assertion, but still nice.

And keep in mind, right after it’s clear they aren’t getting anywhere and Izuku tries to rationalize it, Katsuki decides to dip seeing as it’s not worth his time anymore. And even before that, at least in my translation, Katsuki seems to be more interested in beating out Blackwhip instead of having Izuku get a handle on.

Again, maybe not abusive, but not exactly supportive, either.

16) ??? (Anime Screenshot)

I personally have no idea what they were going for with this screenshot, but if I had to guess, that’s after Katsuki gives Izuku an escape window whilst he faces off against All Might alone during their Final Exams.

While I understand that this is early on in their dynamic’s development, the fact still stands that Katsuki still wants to fight for fighting’s sake. He may have been willing to at least give Izuku a chance, but he still sees Izuku’s retreat as cowardly, even though it’s a perfectly valid way to pass the exam. He still just wants to fight.

There’s no mutuality in that sense.

17) Quote from Justin Briner (Miscellaneous)

I don’t have much of an opinion for Izuku’s English VA, but for what it’s worth, I think overall he’s a really cool dude. The same, however, cannot be said for his quote.

I can buy into Izuku wanting to get stronger because of Katsuki, since that is a major plot point. I can’t do the same for Katsuki seeing the good in people because we don’t ever see it, really? In fact, it’s more like people latch on to Katsuki and he just tolerates them until they’ve completely wormed their way into his life. There’s no scene where Katsuki considers someone a good person because of something Izuku did, or anything even vaguely along those lines, at least to my knowledge.

As for their relationship, there have been more downs than ups, and it isn’t relatable to me in the slightest. Maybe that’s just ‘cause I don’t get the overall appeal, but their friendship never really strikes me as a… well, friendship. You could argue that’s the point and that’s what makes them different and interesting, but I would much rather we see more concrete proof of their relationship being at more understandable highs and lows while actually demonstrating it was mutual.

But again. That’s just me.

18) Joint Training Pep Talk (Manga Screenshot)

I’m basically repeating myself at this point. Katsuki might be keeping tabs on Izuku, but again, it’s not entirely for Izuku’s benefit. He just wants to make sure his new “rival” (successor to the #1 Hero, I might add) isn’t dragging his feet through the mud and actually getting s*** done so their eventual third clash will actually be worth his time.

...this relationship is so one-sided in two entirely different ways, I swear.

19) Speaking With Kacchan So Naturally (Manga Screenshot)

Why are we congratulating Katsuki for adding one more person to his already (surprisingly) sizable tolerance pile?

Why are we congratulating Izuku for bridging a gap other people managed to cross with little to no effort even though he didn’t do anything wrong?

Izuku is essentially saying “Good job on me for finally getting the same treatment as everyone else from that one person after over ten years.” Good on him, but uh… that’s not exactly a landmark worth framing the way the fandom does...

The relationship might not be outright abusive, but HOO BOY the bar has never been set lower...

20) “You’ve got a good friend in him” (Manga Screenshot)

And finally, the pièce de résistance. Which is really more narrative mouthpiece-ing.

Even before that, Katsuki yet again can’t take a compliment from Izuku for whatever reason. Yet again, Izuku just shrugs off all of Katsuki’s discouragement, intentional or otherwise. And I love me some Dadmight as much as the next guy, but really, does he have a good grasp on relationships? His only friends in his life were David and Naomasa, and he’s been shown time and time again to not be the infallible man many think he is due to being the Symbol of Peace? But suddenly he goes “Bakudeku rights” and y’all jump on that with no room for argument?

Katsuki has yet to prove what All Might has been saying. Again, telling rather than showing, therefore removing the meaning from the entire thing. Unless Katsuki proves otherwise, I call bulls***.

-------------------------------------------------------

So, my final verdict? Bakudeku is fine. It’s just not as great as the rest of you are making it out to be. I’m not gonna dictate whatever you ship or what you enjoy, that’s not my place, but at least keep these perspectives in mind. You don’t have to believe them, but just… stay aware, y’know?

Alrighty, I’ve wasted enough of your time. If you’ve read it until the very end, then… thanks. Carry on.

-Crimson Lion (10 August 2020)

[purekesseltrash]

This is my final ask talking about BTD so it has to be perfect, I literally created a google doc so I wouldnt fuck it up before I sent it

Shoji replaying a song over and over while doing a task reminded me of when I listened to “Ophelia” by The Lumineers on repeat while drinking coffee on my kitchen counter and lemme tell ya, I’ve been chasing that high ever since

Yeah knowing you'd have *some* family but not all of them after coming out sucks major ass but its the truth, I'm ever so grateful that the only person who would react negatively that I know would be my maternal Grandmother whos a narcissistic bitch who I haven't spoken to in years so like, i dont give a shit what she thinks but I know that it would be hard on Shoji seeing how family oriented he is in this story and him knowing his relationships with his siblings and parents would be rocky makes my heart break for him

OOOOO BITCHHHHHH HES TEXTING HIMMMMMMM

That went over a lot smoother than I thought it would, I mean i'm incredibly happy that they’re like, getting together, but I honestly expected it to be more drawn out

Awww Tokoyami getting their as fast as he could and Shoji being soft for domestic Tokoyami

Sweet jesus I can relate to Shoji just randomly thanking his friend for being his friend, the amount of times I’ve wanted to just ominously text my friends a “thank you for everything” is too many to count

I LOVE GRITTY, HE REMINDS ME OF MY CAT WHOS A MAINE COON (his names Chewie if you're interested)

I knew Mic would suck at cooking, its just so him

I practically squealed at Shoji changing Tokoyami’s contact name to Fumikage

Okay, little background story, I keep a list in my notes app of headcanons for Tokoyami and literally one of them on there says word for word “Dogs absolutely love him and he loves them right back” so im SO GLAD you made him a dog person, making him a cat person seems like the easy route

LAWYER MOM IS INTRODUCED i honestly didn't picture her as a blonde but now I see it

Tokoyami’s mom being incredibly enthusiastic reminds me a lot of my mom, she always get excited when people have pride flags hanging up and suggested we get a pride flag so that made me appreciate my mama more than I already have been

I swear to god my eyes got as big as saucers hearing the part about cheesecake because I'm from New Hartford and forgot Hartford was a different city.

I can just picture Aizawa SLAMMING the brakes and whipping his head around, hair flying, as he looks at Shoji

“And he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding” how much more cliche could you get, not gonna lie that made me laugh

All right I have to confess something. I've skipped every transcript of Put Your Sticks Up because I was impatient and wanted to get to the story. Now you know my biggest secret, I always felt bad but would get frustrated cause I wanted to hear ‘bout my boys.

The last precious worm ask! I am finally on my laptop so I can give this the proper attention.

Ngl, when my head isn't working, I will just put on one song and play it over and over and over and over and over until something comes into my head. My ShinOji fic 'Gold Rush' came from that. Still not sure how I managed to make a somewhat decent fic out of a song about gentrification but my mind is a wild and wonderful place.

Yeah, Shouji goes through it with his family. One thing that I can say though is that as Shouji starts to get more and more successful with his art, Tokoyami starts to spitefully send articles and reviews written on his work to his parent's house. He never gets a response but doesn't expect to, he just feels like they should see how amazing their son is, goddamnit. The one day, a letter comes back. Tokoyami opens it, expecting it to be them telling him to knock it off and instead, one of the pictures has been sent back with 'This is beautiful' written in pen, an arrow pointing to one of his vases. Tokoyami then has to show it to Shouji and explain what he did. Shouji cries basically all night. That starts a very, very tenuous back and forth with his mom.

Gonna put the rest of this under a break because it's gonna be long

You should have seen my first outline if you thought this was quick with them figuring it out. Basically, the only reason that Tokoyami broke it off in the first place was because he didn't see that there was a chance of it working. They worked so well otherwise. Amazing chemistry, complimentary senses of humor, Tokoyami didn't want to break it off at all. He just felt like he had to because otherwise they were both going to get more hurt. So when Shouji was like 'okay, but actually I do want to try this', he was all in.

Ojiro is legit Shouji's first real friend. Which is really really sad given that they met when they were eighteen but Shouji never really got a chance to do anything normal.

Maine Coons rule and Chewie is an excellent name for them. I was going to name their cat after Marie Phillipe Poulin, the greatest women's hockey player ever, but I decided that Gritty would be funnier. Mic as a bad cook is deeply satisfying, I picture him being like me, just all 'okay but I just do enough to make something to survive on and uh.... who needs all the details and stuff'.

The name change actually came from my beta. They asked why his contact was still Western Civ Tutor in the beginning of the chapter and I was like 'oooo, great way to show how they have changed'.

And maaaaaaaaaan. I'm sorry but how is someone who is a bird gonna like a cat. Nah. Tokoyami is a dog person. They do go on to get a dog. They were going to get a Shiba Inu or something catlike until Kenta came through with a hound puppy that he'd found in the rain while on his route and just dumps it in Shouji's lap like 'Surprise!'. They name it Lu after Roberto Luongo, famed goalie. The dog is a goddamned menace and Shouji ends up having to take it to classes and learn about dog training so they can all keep their sanity. He ends up loving Lu the most. (I do some part time dog training so I had to throw that in)

Tokoyami dyes his hair. He's actually a mousy blond under the dye like his mama. And yeah, my parents are hella supportive too. I figured it would be healthy for one of them to have accepting parents.

Aizawa was pretty pissed, ngl. For all that he should know better, he got caught up in the same shit that coaches tend to slip into, which is a responsibility because they have someone with potential that they must mold and then when they go on to do amazing things, they can feel a part of it. But then he realizes where he fucked up and how he was so busy seeing Shouji the hockey player that he couldn't see Shouji the person.

Listen, it's my fanfic, so I'm gonna get as cheesy as I damn well please. I'd written a super cheesy ending for the end of 'Black Sun' and was waffling on keeping it until somebody was like 'it's a fic, be as cheesy as you want'. I can has my cheese, as a treat.

WHAT IN THE FUCK WORM. HOW CONFUSED HAVE YOU BEEN THIS ENTIRE TIME?!?!?! this legit made me laugh out loud when I read it. GO BACK AND READ MIC'S SHOW!!! I set up so much stuff to try and prepare the reader to understand the emotional stakes, not to mention the basic facts of hockey! That being said, I get the feeling.

Thank you for this last super mega grande worm ask, sorry that it took me so long, I wanted to be able to give it my full attention. <3

[thecreepiestcarrie]

#JusticeforJohnnyDepp: Johnny’s witness statements at a glance (Winona Ryder, Vanessa Paradis & Katherine Kendall)

Things I Cover in this Post:

the nature of how The Sun obtained the quotes from Katherine Kendall

This post will be a bit on the shorter side, as these three witness statements were brief, but the words these women provided are, I believe, important. It helps to illustrate Johnny’s character, along with establishing the less than moral practices of The Sun. I will be providing highlights from the statements of: Katherine Kendall- survivor of Weinstein, prominent figure of the MeToo movement. Winona Ryder- iconic American actress, dated Johnny for 4 years, ending in 1993. Vanessa Paradis- French musician, actress and fashion model, mother of Johnny’s 2 kids and his partner for 14 years, ending in 2012.

Before we get into their statements, please don’t hesitate to sign this petition, which is calling for an official review into the misconduct of the judge from this case, Andrew Nicol. He has a proven family connection to The Sun and a professional connection to AH and her legal team. So straight up, he needs to be fired, just like AH does from Aquaman 2.

To go in chronological order, I’m going to begin with Winona Ryder. Before getting into her statement, I just wanted to address that both she and Vanessa were not actually brought in to provide their statements during the trial. Ultimately, Johnny’s legal team decided against this. But, I wanted to point out how ridiculously significant it is that Winona provided a statement and was willing to vouch for Johnny. She did not have to do this, she and Johnny broke up almost three decades ago, she owes him literally nothing. Taking a look at mainstream media, they want you to believe he is guilty and so, Winona coming out to support him in these legal proceedings, that could only be a detriment to her career, which has suffered its own lows. Arguably, you could say that her career has only gotten back on track with Stranger Things in 2016 (don’t get me wrong, she has been working consistently in Hollywood and she was a fucken standout in 2010′s Black Swan), after being the butt of a lot of jokes or seeming to be unable to step out of the shadows of her own mental health (and legal) issues in the beginning of the ‘00′s.  To side with a perceived abuser was a risk, it could bring a shitton of negative press and even get her removed from projects. But she knows Johnny is innocent, so she knows it’s not a risk. She rocks.

Shocked, confused and upset? Girl, same.

Those sceptical on Johnny’s innocence may want to dismiss her statement altogether - her relationship with Johnny ended in 1993, what relevance does that have to do with the things that transpired in the 2010′s? Couldn’t he have changed since then? Sure, that is definitely a valid argument. But when their relationship ended, Johnny was 30 whole years old, he was a grown-ass man, not a teen with his mind still developing.

But sure, for arguments sake, let’s say that Winona’s experience has nothing to do with the Johnny that Scum married in 2015. To counter that, let’s take a look at the statement from Vanessa Paradis, whom he did not split from until 2012, much more recent to the man he is today.

They were together for fourteen years and she never saw anything even close to the behaviour Scum is alleging.  He was forty-nine whole years old when they split, definitely a grown-ass man who is probably quite set in his ways. It’s so weird how his whole personality would suddenly transform and he would become an incredibly violent man, kinda reminds me of Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde. It all just came completely out of nowhere, as opposed to Scum, who has previously been arrested for assaulting a partner. I believe a history of violence is prevalent, but it exists for Scum, not for Johnny.

Now to shed light on Katherine Kendell, whose quotes were used in the initial article that the Sun published labelling Johnny as a wife-beater. Katherine was a 23 year old actress when successful-producer and industry-big-wig Harvey Weinstein sexually harassed her, alone in his apartment. She is one of the many brave survivors to lend her famous face and name to the MeToo movement. The Sun weaponised this vital movement in order to cause an immediate emotional response to their article. I believe Scum is doing the exact same thing, they are weaponizing the experiences of other survivors, aiming all of the hurt-fuelled rage that comes in response to hearing about these years of abuse and aiming it to fire at will, at Johnny Depp. It is morally bankrupt, if you ask me. The person who ‘interviewed’ Katherine does not have any empathy for her experiences or struggles. Dan Wootton certainly does not give two shits about Katherine or what she actually went through. 

Stalked and misquoted. Then completely dismissed. They used her, her status as a survivor and her words, then threw her aside - as if this woman hasn’t been through enough in her life. They are completely missing the point of #MeToo. She never should have been included in this article, never should have been dragged into this mess. But that’s just The Sun folks, they will do whatever it takes to get their story. They don’t care how far they stretch the truth, even when it is stretched far beyond recognition. It is soulless and immoral. 

But it’s just another notch on their long list of terrible practices. 

That’s it for Johnny’s witnesses, so next I have to get into Scum’s/The Sun’s, so... yeah, please pray for me and my sanity because that is not gonna be fun.

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 09/21 NXT 09/23 NXT UK 09/24 Smackdown 09/25 Clash of Champions 09/27 + Main Event 09/24

Raw:

Billie’s not wrong. None of these people are wrong. That title has fallen so fucking far since Becky held it, Jesus.

Interesting to see Billie Kay be somewhat (?) supportive of Peyton. Manager?

I implore women to stop using red eyeliner unless you’re trying to look possessed.

Oh at least Mickie’s gonna have her last match with her snazzy pants on.

God that theme music is so outdated.

If there was one person on the roster that could convince me they wrestled in the Diva’s era, it’d be Mickie James.

Beautiful Octopus, dare I say best in the division. Look at those crossed legs. Just beautiful, Zelina.

Man it was cool watching Zelina reverse the powerbomb attempt into a rollup, but Mickie couldn’t be bothered to get her shoulders down for a 2 count before the reversal. Shame.

Zelina needs an increase to her speed to pull off the style she’s going for, but it’s a fun style.

oof I think Mickie actually caught Zelina’s forehead with that high kick.

Seated Senton off the top rope is garbage and I hate it.

Lmfao Zelina won with a backstabber. She’s literally Sasha-lite. Okay.

Word was Bianca was the star of the pc combine, right? So if you wanna showcase her strength, do it against someone I fucking know lmao. Who was this bro? Of course she’s stronger than a nobody in the pc. Friggin Alexa Bliss can effortlessly give piggy back rides to Sheamus. That’s impressive, because I know how strong and big he is. This could’ve been done better is all I’m saying. Maybe do a sitdown interview with her pc peeps hyping her up, or show footage of her blowing everyone in the combine out the park. Idk.

Ruby stop hyping up Nia and Shayna individually, individually they suck lol lesbireal.

So did Ruby just give Liv her shirt? …You know what, it works, I’m not gonna dig into this.

I feel like all women use the same starting moves against Nia and it’s a little tired ngl. They do this headscissors into a standing crucifix hold, and then slide down to try and roll her up. Then she picks them up and headbutts them. Come on peeps.

Mk just throw Lana through another table, she’s as useless in the ring (kf wise) as Liv is on commentary (non-kf wise)

Let me rewind, how did Nattie get taken out this time? A punch again. COOL. Nattie confirmed worst tag partner in the history of the division.

Lmfao rip Lana. Bye.

Wow we just said fuck entrances huh? Ugh God. Imagine Becky not getting an entrance as a damn champion.

So Peyton forgoes jumping for the German suplex, which could’ve resulted in her landing on Asuka’s head, and her reaction is to laugh. Consummate professional. Becky Lynch’s optic cranial nerve injury (caused by a failed German suplex) called, it can’t seem to find the humor.

Idk what that double underhooked move was by Peyton, but it was nice.

What bothers me about Peyton’s spinning heel kick, is as high as she gets it, she only hits people with her calf. Awkward to see.

That attempted transition into the Asuka Lock was... something.

Highlight: Lana going through the table

---

NXT:

Did Tegan say “why me” to Candice fucking her knee up with a metal pipe? Somebody get this girl some tissues.

Haha watching Tegan writhe in pain is funny. Candice gets points. And I do not like giving Candice points.

Really appreciate Rhea’s theme after hearing so much generic garbage lately. She’s so done with nxt as a performer, she has passed literally all of them by.

Not to be that person, but seeing so many people in the ring together bothers me. If one person was sick, literally all of them are sick now. It’s just kinda yikes.

Did they forego having a crowd? If so, wise. There’s enough ppl in the ring and at ringside.

Rhea fucking yeeted that girl into the barrier lmaooo.

“...Marina Shafir who’s done some great things on Raw Underground recently,” lmao sure.

The absolute half-assed attempt by that girl to pull herself up before Rhea booted her down to the floor was questionable.

So adding all these random peeps from the pc to this battle royal was done solely to have Raquel and Rhea flex for their feud in 4 months, huh.

Kacy does cool shit, wbk lmao. Gets kicked out, lands on her back, rolls into a handstand, rotates, pulls herself up into the ring using her feet on the ropes; gets kicked out, lands on the side of the guardrail, pulls herself up, uses the plexiglass to help balance herself, jumps onto the stairs; gets kicked out, lands on the side of the guardrail, stands on Kayden’s shoulders and gets chauffeured back to the ring. Brilliant. Would be overkill in a Royal Rumble, but it works here.

R&R eliminate each other/themselves together. Fitting. Dakota “help me I’m useless on my own” Kai is shook.

Why is Indi in the top 5? Or top 7? How is this girl so damn prestigious??

Kacy really just slung herself around the ringpost. I’m becoming a fan of her antics/performances in multiwomen matches.

I see Shotzi’s character is, “I come so close yet cannot manage to touch the gold.” I feel for her... cuz I can’t stand Candice.

Boooo

I love how Io carries herself. She’s a shining example of not allowing her heritage to hold her back or make her feel unimportant. She responds in Japanese, and without missing a beat, translates in perfectly spoken and quick English. Never dances, never smiles, never looks like a chump. Serious and answers the damn question. She gets points.

Highlight: Kacy shenanigans

---

NXT UK:

Lol I love KLR so much. Just ducks out of the ring the first time she’s bested.

“KLR is well versed in mental manipulation,” that she is. She’s honestly a top competitor in that sense; equal to the likes of Sasha and Charlotte when it comes to psychology.

Piper’s got power. Ragdolling KLR here.

That’s right, performing with Charlotte Flair at wm is an accolade one can only hope to achieve (I’m annoying I know) no but seriously, KLR vs Becky Lynch? Take my money.

Nice Superkick, nice Tornado ddt.

Dear ref, stop yelling at her and restart the count. Dweeb.

Lmao self inflicted wreckage of her knee. 

This ref is a walking headache. We’re now getting into the autumn of overbooked women’s matches. And UK’s first title match back. Yikes.

That senton was awkward and looked painful af for KLR’s neck. If you’re gonna risk that move while selling a leg injury, make sure you have more space to correct your landing.

I almost wish that turnbuckle came undone naturally because KLR is already such a good seller, but I’m gonna assume this is a worked move since it’s been left exposed.

Yeah see there are issues with that spot. Positives: KLR didn’t purposefully undo the turnbuckle, so it’s not on her to give another title match; the spot has potential, as I’m guessing that would be genuinely painful. Negatives: Piper is too big of a woman to hit the lower turnbuckle doing the cannonball, so she ended up hitting the middle... which was padded. Good ending on paper if you don’t do the equations, but poor execution. Not Piper nor KLR’s fault though.

Slow pacing and I hate overbooked garbage, but this obviously isn’t the only match they’re having so *shrug*

Highlight: Clean tornado ddt, and I do love KLR’s selling

---

Smackdown:

Lol Bayley has her chair. She automatically gets a point every time I see it.

Top of the ramp this time? Okay, sure.

Stop cutting to the fancams, production. I don’t care about their reactions.

A fine enough promo to move along both of her angles, but production sucks. Wbk though.

“...one of the most complex personalities,” which personality of Alexa’s are we referring to, though?

Their timing on her pyro was off and now I’m sad. The pops during the breakdown leading into the fountains are fucking amazing and honestly cannot be topped by any of the other women.

When did Alexa stop wearing her gloves to the ring? Probably when she turned face. Shame.

She just called Lacey bitter, southern tea, and you know what? What a fucking drag. Imagine bitter southern tea. As someone who was raised in the south, that is a disgrace to southern tea. Sweet sun tea or pass.

Look at Alexa: selling Lacey’s strength, full of agile speed, and yet here’s Lacey not even bothering to put her shoulders down for her pin attempt. SAD.

A problem I consistently have with SD in particular is how they set up commercial breaks. They always do something dramatic, cut to commercial, come back and shit’s always completely different. How you gonna cut from Alexa leading and hearing the Fiend’s laugh, to return to Lacey in charge ???

Dear Cole, why are you calling her Alexis lol. Like I know that’s her real name but, hello??

oof Alexa’s midsection is beet red.

Lacey has not been putting on a “clinic” stop tossing that term around, Cole. Good bump by Alexa though.

Love how Lacey doesn’t mind landing flat when her moonsault misses. Respect. Her and Charlotte both eat that so perfectly.

LOVE how the monitors of people turned into Fiend’s face. POINTS.

It’s like she’s reverted back to her heel persona. This is literally 2016 Bliss, right? Right??

Roman is a large, strong, intimidating guy... but holy shit the visual of 5′1 Alexa staring daggers into the back of his head is intense af. I almost complained that he cut off her exit, but well done with the continuity.

Highlight: I’m really digging the Alexa/Fiend story

---

Clash of Champions:

Loving the red roots, hate the eyeshadow.

See, if Asuka wants to fuck around in the ring, you won’t hear me complain. I just wish she took her non-wrestling segments more seriously.

The patience Asuka gave Zelina to set up the arm kick was dumb.

“A hard arm bar by Asuka,” he says, even though her legs were completely bent. Easy on the credit given plz.

Zelina telegraphs too much. None of the bumps she takes ever catch me by surprise.

In the spirit of being fair, put your fucking shoulders down and let her attempt a pinfall, Asuka.

Haha Sasha-lite did meteora in the corner.

Nice roll into a kick, half point for Zelina.

No you don’t get to sell frustration or disbelief yet, that’s not buyable.

I don’t know wtf Zelina was going for with that counter before the Asuka Lock, but honestly idc. Could’ve been a kickoff match indeed. State of Becky’s title btw.

Every week it’s the same shit with Asuka. She gets on the mic, speaks Japanese, barely accomplishes anything, then gets interrupted/slapped/attacked... with dancing and smiling inbetween. I really wish she was more like Io.

Nikki isn’t “medically cleared to compete”, and the tag team titles aren’t being defended. My memory is fuzzy but wasn’t there some covid concerns going around back then? Was that just baseless speculation?

Love that Bayley turned this into an opportunity to be a bigger douche than she already was lol.

IS SHE DOING A VICTORY LAP LMAO

I want to hate this from a smarky “give other women a chance” perspective, but Bayley is an ass and this is great for Asuka to build credit as a face, and after being made to look foolish yet again. Lesgo.

Lol sounded like Bayley said, “you think you can cuck me?” I’m sure she didn’t. I’m choosing to believe she did though.

I never know exactly who to blame when Asuka’s Codebreaker looks ugly, but I swear Charlotte is the only one it looks impactful with. Sell job isn’t the problem, but taking that actual move is always dicey af.

Great kick by Asuka. Rekt.

Bayley says nah fuck this rofl. Fair ending; a fun little sprint of meaningless jabs.

“Chairwoman of SD” I like that too, Graves. Points to you.

LMAOOO Bayley set that shit up perfectly kekekek what’s up Sasha.

She be looking fucking incredible, but that neckbrace is a mega bummer.

Character wise, I’m surprised Bayley’s choosing to dole out punishment rather than taking her title and bolting.

Welp maybe she should have, Sasha going to town lmao.

oof peep that red line going down Bayley’s arm. eesh. Welts all over her back.

Highlight: Sasha beating the shit out of Bayley with a kendo stick

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

You don’t pan the camera over to fucking commentary during Bianca’s entrance. Do better @ production.

Ruby puts her confidence in Liv even though everybody knows Bianca is winning this match lmao.

LOVE Liv’s boots.

like 20 seconds into the match and it’s already 10x better than the Bianca vs Billie Kay one. Don’t even waste a spot on Main Event for Billie Kay. No, I’m not not sorry for saying that.

It’s not that I hold issue with Bianca’s showboating or mannerisms, but it’s all so much more fitting for a heel.

Beautiful stalling suplex, but Liv is rather small.

Beautiful distance on that dropkick to Liv. Liv gets points for throwing herself so far.

We have enough women who rip their shirts off deep into matches, me thinks. Don’t need it from Liv as well.

Momentum could’ve been split better, but that was a decent match.

---

*Clash of Champions would be my highlighted event mostly thanks to Bayley, but if that’s a cop out, I’ll give a slight nod to Smackdown’s handling of Alexa.

[pockpop]

nct dream reaction to nctzens hating on their mixed s/o

↬ synopsis; black and korean s/o dating a member of nct dream and receiving an enormous amount of hate because of it

↬ genre;some fluff,some angst, lots of cute stuff

↬ requested; yeet

renjun ♡

“hey what are you looking at?”

you quickly hide your phone and roll over on his bed, trying to tuck your phone under the pillows but he’s tickling your sides making you laugh loud and toss and turn before he finally got a grip on your phone and unlocked it.

when he saw you were looking at your twitter mentions, his big smile settled into a frown as the sweet compliments about your relationship became littered with ones bashing every single thing they could. from your darker skin tone to your laugh, to the way you dress. saying you weren’t a true korean and that you weren’t enough for renjun, he was internally glad you didn’t know much mandarin because those were even worse than the korean ones.

“i hope you’re not taking these things to heart or letting them get to you..” he’d whisper, not being able to look you in the eye. he would be beyond pissed and definitely would scream about it later to the boys but when you laughed, he’d be hella confused,

“yeah it kind of sucks your fans aren’t fond of me but it’s nothing i’ve never dealt with before.”

when you kissed his cheek, he swore his heart just burst in his chest and would just want to spend all day wrapped up with you, escaping their hateful words and thoughts with his lil angel.

jeno ♡

of course he’s aware that you’re receiving hate and just bashing from his fans, but he was pretty oblivious to just how bad it was until you two were out on date.

it was the first time he was able to see you in a few weeks and naturally he was being a little clingy. holding your hand, arm wrapped around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder but you stiffened every time and during his last attempt to hold your hand,you pulled away so he asked you what was up.

“this whole night, you keep pulling away from me and acting weird. i haven’t seen you in forever, why the awkwardness?”

“i just don’t want to give your fans more to hate me for. they already complain we touch too much.”

cue a triggered jeno alright, he’s a teenage boy that just really wants to shower his fine ass girlfriend with affection after all this time and she is rejecting him because of his fans.

“they say i’m not good enough for you, look at this foreign girl coming in and stealing all the good korean men we have even though i’m half korean but whatever. they don’t get why you’re attracted to me or if it’s just for the publicity!”

he’s just not having it at all, he can tell they are getting to you so he’d be the one to shut that down real quick “and you believe them? you really are stooping down to that mentality? i’m dating you because you’re just my type, you’re funny and beautiful, and i just want to spend sometime with my baby without all that negativity that doesn’t matter at all.”

when you nod and agree, sweet jeno is back into play showering you in kisses and giving you the best night of your life, reminding you that you and him are all that matters.

haechan ♡

he’s just straight up not having it. sure, he can handle the hate he receives, he can take it with a grain of salt because he’s been going through it for a hot minute, but hate towards his baby? and from his fans? think again mmkay.

so extra that he posts pictures of you and him all over your social media, showering you in affection and showing off his queen, petty with his captions too like ‘ don’t hate her cause you ain’t her’ bull. he’s so ready to face the backlash from the company and k nctzens just to prove he’s serious about you.

and if the comments are actually getting to you and he sees you questioning if you still want to be with him, he’d be even more hurt and upset. always trying to assure that it’s only you two in the relationship and literally deletes your twitter app just so you don’t have to see any of the hate anymore.

jaemin ♡

more than anyone else, I feel he’d be the most hurt. probably more offended than you tbh.

everybody and they mama know jaemin loves loves nctzens but to find out they are bashing your name, bullying you online and especially when he’s not around, it brings out the worst in him.

like one night you two are hanging out around the dorm and he’s laying in your lap, letting you play with his hair as he tells you a story when your phone is just blowing up. he gets to it before you can out of annoyance and their instagram notifications and when he sees all the negative comments under the photo of you two, he’s mortified. they were making all these kinds of racist remarks or just plain out asking how you got so lucky and how did he even end up with someone like you.

“don’t look like that, i always get comments like these.”

jaemin looks at you in surprise but you shrug it off,”those are nothing compared to the ones i posted from when we went see your family, the comment section had some mixed reviews.”

“why haven’t you told me about this?” jaemin’s whole demeanor had changed, the heartbreak in his eyes as the comments rolled in made your heart hurt.

“because it would ruin the mood, because its negative and i don’t know” your voice trailed off as you avoided eye contact. “i expected it and sometimes its not too bad.”

“you know none of what they say is true?” he starts slowly,tossing your phone aside, his attention is solely on you now,”like you know i love all of you, from here,” he touched the crown of your head,” to here,” he let his fingers trail all the way to your toes making you wiggle your toes in your fuzzy socks. 

“love is strong word,” you mention and jaemin is all smiles because he’s sure he does love you and there’s nothing anyone can say or do that would change that.

chenle ♡

you two were out on your first date and subsequently a fan came up while you guys were seated.

“yeah i’m a big fan!” but then her eyes turned to you and her smile faltered slightly, her eyes looking you up and down, chenle noticed her gaze and beamed at you. “and this is?” the fan asked and chenle grabbed your hand, a pink tint coming to his cheeks.

“this is my s/o,” 

the fan smiled at you but it made you uncomfortable as the smile wasn’t genuine at all. chenle was oblivious to the whole ordeal and took pictures with the fan and conversed a little more before the fan was gone. 

turning his attention back to you, he noticed you scrolling through your phone, milkshake discarded, pout on your lips.

“hey i’m sorry about that, for the whole day you now have my complete attention.” 

“no it’s not that, i just think now our relationship isn’t a secret and your fans aren’t so happy about it.” 

chenle would be the one to brush it off, try to relieve you of any worry or troubled feelings. he knows how fans can be, how ruthless and mean but he’s so down to shield you from ever believing or listening to anything they say or do.

“maybe they aren’t happy but i am happy, you make me happy and if they can’t accept you then that means more extra love from me.”

this made you smile letting him hold your hands,”that was hella corny but i’ll take it.”

jisung ♡

it makes him uncomfortable and angry all at once. especially if you’re his first serious relationship and he wants it to work, but he would have a hard time figuring out how to handle it. like if you don’t care and you don’t take the comments to heart, he wouldn’t worry too much but if you were one to take offense to the things fans say, he would constantly be making sure you knew he was truly down for you.

like always blowing up your phone with memes and funny pictures of himself, texting you like crazy and just being a reminder that you two can make it work no matter what. 

lets say one night you two are out and about for the first time in forever, like an amusement park and even though he still gets nervous around you, he’s holding your hand in a death grip.

you had been telling him about the comments you had been getting lately and he just wanted to show you good time. he’d win you tons of stuffed animals and you two would share a cotton candy and just be cliche af. ending the night with a lil kiss on the top of ferris wheel,you know the cute stuff haha

but he would always avoid any drama or confrontations from fans in public like he’d hold his tongue just to keep the peace but it would be hard cause he ain’t the one  

[twin-images]

The Thing About Fan Requests

In our ongoing quest to become video content creators, we regularly watch the producers who inspire us and who have helped shaped Twinsanity to being it is and soon will become: Phelan Porteous, Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Dave Ganselle, Allison Pregler, Greg Sepelak & Trent Troop, Lewis Lovhaug, Mathew Buck, Bob Chipman, Digi Valentine, etc. Whenever we make the mistake of reading the comment sections of their videos, one occurrence that we find curious is when viewers make the following request:

“Hey, content producer, could you review this thing/show/movie/game/franchise that I’m interested in??” “You should review this!” “Now do this!” “Review this thing that I’m into! Do it! Now!”

We’ve even gotten a few fan requests ourselves. Other creators can do what they choose, but my response whenever I see this question pop up is always the same:

Instead of asking Doug, Linkara, Phleous, Lupa, Bob, Erod or whoever to review this thing, why don’t YOU review it?

Sometimes when I’ve posted this, people take it OK, but more often I get met with responses like:

“What?? Me dare to dirty my precious little hands on actual work? Perish the thought!”

Or

“HOW DARE YOU suggest that I get off my ass and do something for a subject I’M passionate about and might find to be a fun, challenging and interesting new experience! I’LL @#$%ING KILL YOU!!!!”

No, really. Some people honestly get offended when you suggest that maybe they should make their own videos about their favorite media instead of begging content producers to realize their visions for them. You just casually suggest that maybe they should make their own stuff and some folks act as though you just told them to go gargle with glue.

You clearly have a passion for this thing, and you clearly have a strong opinion on it, these content creators can’t be expected to look at everything on the planet, they aren’t going to be doing this forever and new talent has to come from somewhere, so why not do it yourself? These producers have schedules and lives of their own; why should they just drop whatever they’re working to fulfill your fanboy/fangirl requests? Especially when 9 times out 10, you’re not even offering up any money for their services?

Listen, folks, I’m gonna confide with y’all; we haven’t started making videos yet, but when we do, while we’ll appreciate any requests from fans, y’all should know this right now: we won’t be taking fan requests for free. We’ll likely be starting up a Patreon account, and then folks who want to float some cash our way might get a little somethin’-somethin’, but we primarily tackle the topics that we’re interested in; if you want us to talk about that you’re interested, you’re going to have to pay us. Content producers gotta eat too.

This “Review this for me!” mentality is something I’ve truly never understood. Jason and I have been blogging for 8 years now; we’ve never asked anyone else to write our blog for us. I just don’t get it.

Here are some actual fan requests that I’ve over the years:

“Since you referenced Totally Spies, now you have to review it!”

-No, I don’t. Where’s that carved in stone?

“Now that you’ve reviewed Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, now do Masked Rider and Big Bad Beetleborgs.”

-Are you telling me or asking me? ‘Cause I respond better when asked politely. But now that you’ve demanded I do those shows, I’m not going to as a deliberate act of protest; that’s just my nature as a rebellious Aquarius.

“So when can we expect a review of the new Friday the 13th movie??”

-I don’t know; it depends on how soon you make and upload one. Halloween’s just around the corner, get crackin’, Jack!

“You just did a video about ear-worms in cartoons. Could you do an anime one?”

-I could, but I won’t. I got stuff to do. Tell you what, you make an anime one and I’ll watch your video. Deal?

“You should make a video of the Top 11 Animaniacs songs. It should start with a shot of a sunrise; you get up, open the window and then call Malcolm, Tamara and Spoony on the phone, then it cuts to a stage where...”

-Are you giving me directions on how to do this? Seriously? What balls! If you have all these specifics on how this video should be done, then YOU’RE the one who should be doing it, Mr. Spielberg.

“Can you review the following before Christmas: The Pest, Little Miss Sunshine, Pitch Perfect, Misfits of Science, Forever Knight, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, The X-Men, Wolverine and Iron Man animes, Teen Wolf...”

-Do you really think I’m gonna go over all of that? For FREE, no less? You’ve got to give me the name of your dealer, ‘cause that’s some serious weed your smokin’!

“I really think you should review Gallivant. I really enjoyed it and would like to know your views on it.”

-OK, fair enough you just want to know what he thinks of it, but what if he hasn’t seen Gallivant? Or what if he has seen it but thought it was terrible? If he gave something you liked a negative review, then you’d be pissed off. This is why I think it’s best for folks to put out their own stuff instead of asking others to do it for them.

But by far one of THE stupidest responses I’ve ever heard when I suggested that maybe a fan should review a thing they like themselves is...

“I can’t, ‘cause I’m not a reviewer like he is.”

-Um, do you think dude was making videos and producing vlogs and reviews the second he came out of his mother’s womb? No offense, bruh, but that’s straight up stupid. NO ONE is born a reviewer. Making and producing content is a SKILL that people can learn. Reviewers aren’t a separate species; they’re just people with a passion for and an opinion on something who are willing to put in the necessary work to express their feelings, thoughts and ideas to others. If you don’t know how to make videos, then you can learn, just like they did. If you think that’s a too big a task, there are other ways to express yourself creatively, like starting a blog or something. It’s not complicated. In any event, stop making excuses, get off your ass and do something. Use your voice. Get your opinions out there. Stop making excuses.

We’re going to start making and uploading videos soon, and recently I’ve gotten the spark to do something else in addition to that: I had initially been thinking of starting a second blog for original fiction, but after joining Tumblr last year, I’ve decided to do online comics instead. I’ve always loved to draw and hope to make my own animated shorts one day, seeing some of the awesome comics and artwork here (particularly the strips Ohmygoles and What’s Up, Beanie? -shout-out to those lovely and funny ladies) has inspired me. Do I know all the ins and out of producing my own comics yet? No, but I can and will learn. Will my first attempts suck? Most likely, ‘cause first attempts usually do. But I’m still going to do it. I firmly believe that being proactive is better than just sitting on your duff bitching and moaning. You can’t hope to succeed if you don’t dare to fail.

[calliecat93]

So last week was… okay. Lost of good things happened, but the execution was flimsy especially regarding certain revelations. But we’re nearing the end now, and that means a ton of insanity from now until the end. After this week we only have three chapters left to go, and we still have a loooot to get through. What are we in for this week? Well… lots and lots of fighting. Let’s get on with it.

Overview

Mantle is in chaos. Various Grimm are attacking and the citizens are running for their lives. The heroes are doing their best to fight off the Grimm and save the people, but it’s easier said than done especially with the limited shelters. The people are still upset, begging to be taken up to Atlas and demanding answers as to why Ironwood is doing this. But thankfully, they get their answer as Robyn and Ironwood appear on the broadcast screens. With Robyn using her Semblance to confirm it as true, Ironwood reveals Salem’s existence, exposes Watts and Tyrian, and reveals the reason behind his actions. He states that Amity is ready now and he’s sending his forces into Mantle to help with evacuations. This is enough to, for now, calm the people down.Tyrian is enraged and Watts is stunned that Amity got past him, but he re-scrambles. While he goes to Amity he tells Tyrian to cause as much chaos as possible, and the Scorpian man gets an idea when Robyn declares that she’ll be heading down herself.

Cinder and Neo have also heard this, and Cinder is unhappy. Not just because of Watts and Tyrian being there, but because this goes against the timeline that she was aware of. Due to this, she’s forced to adjust the plan and tells Neo to go after Oscar and get the Lamp. Neo is unhappy, after all, she’s there to get at Ruby. But Cinder refuses until she has what she needs. O while Neo gets the Lamp, she intends to get the Winter Maiden powers. Back in Mantle, the heroes continue to try and take down the Grimm and evacuate the citizens into the choppers. At this point, Penny has joined the fray and tries to help Ruby and Harriet against a Mega Goliath. 

During this we see Ruby close her eyes, clearly trying to focus so that she can use the Silver Eyes. But like in the V6 finale, she can’t maintain focus and this time she doesn’t have Jimm to give her an out. SO she resumes fighting per usual, having to go after Penny after the Mega-Goliath knocks her away. Fortunately, Ruby is able to form a plan. Penny, with her lasers, weakens one of the Goliaths tusks, allowing Ruby to slash it off and knock the Mega Goliath right onto it, killing it. This is why we don’t mess with Ruby Rose kids. Seeing Penny defend them helps restore the people’s faith in her as she conforms to Robyn that she can proceed with evacuations on her end. Robyn leaves that task to Joanna as she looks for stragglers… but Tyrian chooses to strike her then. But unfortunately for him, Robyn isn’t alone. Clover and Qrow were earlier informed of new orders, and are now there too face Tyrian alongside Robyn. Grudge match time~!

Up in Amity, Watts finds himself at the center stage. He says ‘it’ll do’ and he has the briefcase that he had back in Chapter 2. The doctor, however notes that it doesn’t seem finished… and he’s right. The lights come on and Ironwood welcomes him form the announcer booth. Yep, it was a trap. The Arena isn’t ready yet, but the announcement sure lured Watts in. But Watts isn’t deterred by this, using his control ring things to activate the Biome system and blocks a shot by Ironwood with a Hard Light Shield. Ironwood calls him a pain in the ass as she continues the attack, Watts jumping away as the Biome is set: the previously unused Anti-Gravity Biome. The biome emerges and Watts, armed with his own gun, informs Ironwood that he’s not going down without a fight.

Review

I know that compared to usual the Overview seems rushed but that’s because this is mainly a fight scene/setup chapter. There, unfortunately, isn’t much to say with these kinds of chapters. It’s just fight scenes. I’m not saying that as a negative and trust me I’ve still got plenty to go over. But all that I can really say is that the fights were good. Ruby and Penny vs the Goliath especially, though Harriet’s Aura breaking certianly has me concerned… still, it was really good. There isn’t much to say otherwise and considering it takes up the majority of the volume, it leaves me with only so much to talk about.

So we have Neo and Cinder back and their plans are now more clear. Cinder is going for the Maiden Powers and Neo, against her wishes has to go after Oscar. TO say that I am concerned would be an understatement. I’m fairly positive that Cinder isn’t going to get the Winter Maiden powers… but IDT that Winter, who I assume that Cinder’s gonna fight at this point won’t either. This not only makes me worried for Winter, but for whoever does get the power. There are a number of possibilities about who will and what’ll happen. I still expect Nora because of the whole ‘Fria might be Freya’ thing, but I could be wrong. Either way, Winter is strong but up against CInder? Well… hopefully, she maks it out. Please. /Please/.

But let’s talk about the Cinder and Neo partnership. I know that a lot of people are expecting Neo to backstab Cinder, myself included. But… IDT it’s gonna happen yet. For one, Neo is still outclassed by Cinder and she is fully aware of this. The whole reason she decided to listen to CInder in V6 is because Cinder went into Maiden Mode. I assume that Neo has a similar ‘survive’ philosophy that Roman has, and maybe we’ll see her outgrow that if Cinder pushes her too far, but for now that’s not gonna happen. She’s certainly unhappy that she has to go after some farmboy over Ruby. But I imagine that she’ll still do it, and heck if she succeeds, she’ll have the perfect way to lure Ruby out. I think Neo is very much waiting to kill two birds with one stone, but with Cinder going to do her own thing, the time isn’t right. V8 is likely when that’ll come into play more, but this is good for setting things up.

That’s what this chapter is for the most part; setup. It’s the beginning of the final ac of the volume. We FINALLY have the Qrow and Robyn (and apparently Clover) vs Tyrian fight that we’ve been anticipating since the opening came out. We have Ironwood facing Watts in Amity. This can go /multiple/ ways. I think that Robyn and Qrow are safe for now, and if Harriet dies first Clover might be. It’s certainly NOT going to be taken well if he does die, that much I already know. Tyrian I think might also survive, or at least I think his chances are better than Watts. But we don’t know what Watts plans to do with Amity Tower and we still don’t know what’s in that suitcase. Ironwood… well… he’s correcting his missteps, but those missteps may very well cost him his life. Especially against a guy who can control technology, and what is half of Ironwood’s body made of? Yeah… but Ironwood is also a rained military general while Watts is just a disgraced scientist, though at least not a defenseless one. It’s gonna be interesting to see how this all goes down. Oh and we still have the potential Flying Money attack to worry about, though at this point it might be a V8 thing.

But speaking of those missteps, we get to the negative side. I think I made my feelings about the rushed revelations and everyone taking it far too well clear. Well… here we are again. Now I think it was better here since they had Robyn use her Semblance to make it clear to everyone that Ironwood is telling the truth. As such, I can buy that the people will believe it especially given Robyn’s status among the people of Mantle. But ‘believing it’ and ‘being happy about it’ are NOT the same thing. I can’t buy that the people put their resentment of Ironwood aside that easily. That they are so willing to go ’oh some evil lady and her minions are behind this? Okay!’. For one ironwood STILL made bad choices even before this. The embargo, the police state, his deprivation of resources causing the attack, to begin with, he is still is at fault for those things. And after we saw Mantle break into multiple riots, including resorting to outright violence last week, you expect me to believe that revealing the truth made everything okay? Really? Really?

Yes, I know that we have three chapters left. And yes I know that this could very well cross over into V8. I know this and am willing to accept this. But I am still unhappy about it because it is anti-climactic. Yes, I’m glad to see everyone co-operating but it leaves no consequences. None for Ironwood’s missteps and dictatorship. None for Ruby lying about Salem’s immortality. Really the way Ruby was handled for this I am going to reserve for the Full Review cause to say I’m not happy is putting it lightly. Yes, we know why they did these things, but choices have consequences. Revealing Salem’s existence should have consequences. I guess if Ironwood dies that means he pays the price, but still. It just feels like they couldn’t think of a better way with everything else going on, so they had no choice but to just rush through it. I get that timing sucks, but this really is dampening my ability to enjoy these final chapters. I hope that isn’t the case with the final three, but only time will tell.

Still, there were plenty of good scenes. Like Ruby trying to channel the eyes. There’s no dialogue but you can just tell that she’s trying but still can’t properly focus. This not only helps explain why she doesn’t just do that right now but shows that she still has a long way to go with being able to use her powers willingly. As I said, all the fights were excellent with highlights aside form Ruby and Penny being Weiss saving Marrow, Jaune getting the people into line, and Elm using a rocket launcher on the Goliaths. While this is mostly setup, it’s good setup and certainly leaves us with a LOT to look forward to. Or be terrified of. Depends on how you look at it.

Chapter Eleven Predictions

This… is a tough one. We have so much going on right now. The Tyrian fight. Watts vs Ironwood. Neo going after Oscar. Cinder going after the Maiden powers. That last one I can see being held off until Chapter 12, but IDK about the rest. I already expressed every character I’m concerned for so there isn’t much left to say there. IDK what RWBYJNR and Ace-Ops will get into aside form continuing evacuations, but I won’t be surprised if some kind of bomb that makes things worse drops. All that I can safely say is that it’s gonna be complete and utter chaos.

Episode Stats

Favorite Character: Ruby Rose and James Ironwood Favorite Scene: Ruby trying, and failing, to channel the Silver Eyes. Least Favorite Scene: More rushed truth revealing Favorite Voice Actor: Jason Rose (James Ironwood) Favorite Animation: Opening shots of Mantle Rating: 7/10

Final Thoughts

I feel the same way that I felt last week about this chapter. It was okay. Not good. Not bad. Just okay. Again the flimsy execution with the truth reveals is really hampering my ability to enjoy this. But we still have plenty of good fights and things to look forward to next week. I am more uncertain than ever about how things are going to end, where in the past I usually had a decent idea of what would happen by now. We can only wait and see how these final few chapters play out. But either way, we’re nearing the climax folks. Be very afraid.

[keeroo92]

Savior, Bloodstain, Hellfire, Shadow Ch1

Summary: You were an ordinary nurse, working your way towards balance when the Qlipoth appeared. That all changed when a dark-haired stranger intervened and saved your ass. He and his outlandish companions sparked your curiosity and as the days passed you formed an unbreakable bond with them all. But what happens when your newfound family faces their fate?

(My first fic, a shameless rewrite of the events of DMC5 featuring V x Reader. Angst, fluff, romance and a passable attempt at slow burn. Multiple endings and sequel in progress. I am currently rewriting it chapter by chapter, but the total word count should hover around 150k. Enjoy!)

Ch1: An Introduction to Demons

---Reader---

May 16th, 8:13 pm

Your gloved hands desperately pressed against your patient’s split flesh, his blood oozing between your fingers as your colleagues prepared the surgery room. The poor man was awake, terrified tears streaking his face as he stared into your eyes, praying you’d save him.

“It’s alright, you’re going to be okay, we’re going to take care of you,” you told him, forcing your agonized mind to project calmness and reassurance in your tone. It seemed to work; his eyes blinked and the fearful furrow of his brows eased slightly.

 Come on, is that room ready yet? He doesn’t have much time left after losing this much blood.

The linoleum floor beneath your feet, normally stark white and freshly bleached, was covered in blood. Your feet were only able to stay stable due to your mandatory anti-slip shoes. The red puddle had been growing for ten minutes as you urgently held this man’s life in your trembling hands. Most nights weren’t like this, most nights the worst you had to deal with was an idiot who hadn’t been paying attention and had touched a hot stove, or maybe if things got really crazy someone would come in with a broken bone.

Rarely did you hold someone’s life in your hands. It never got easier, or less stressful.

The man’s eyes fluttered closed; his head lolled back on the gurney and your heart jumped, knowing how important it was to stay conscious at that point.

“Sir, no, you have to stay awake! Come on, wake up!” your petrified voice uttered, the sound almost foreign to your ears. He didn’t stir, and your panicked thoughts dropped into cold realization as the steady drip of his blood on the floor slowed.

 He’s not going to make it. Goddamnit!

“Someone get me some O negative, now!” you screamed desperately. One of your fellow nurses dashed over with a bag, the fluid red and angry looking as she rushed to get an IV prepared. She checked the man’s pulse, searching for a vein to tap. Her eyes met yours in a shared moment of sadness as the look on her face told you everything you needed to know.

The man beneath your hands was dead.

You pulled your shaking hands away from the gash in his chest, caused by a car crash on the nearby interstate, a chunk of metal having sliced deep into his right pectoral. Your eyes filled with tears at your failure as you unsteadily walked to a nearby hazardous waste bin to strip your bloody gloves off.

There was no other urgent need for you so you stepped away to take a moment to breathe, coming to terms with your inability to save the man you had assured would be alright. You sat on the curb outside as your tears fell, chest heaving in a silent sob.

 It’s never enough, I’m never good enough… I need to get better, get faster, stronger… Have to save the next one like him.

After a long moment whose length you couldn’t tell, you heard a siren approaching. Another ambulance, racing in with another person who needed help. You stood, shoving your pain away to focus on the now, on the next patient whom you might actually have been able to help.

__________________________________

The rest of your shift passed with little incident; blessedly no other patients died that night. You stripped off your soiled scrubs in the locker room, ruminating once more on all your failures. The faces of every single patient you’d been unable to save passed through your mind and you gritted your teeth, forcing yourself to never forget a single one. Your heart clenched as the man from mere hours before passed in your mind’s eye, his face frozen in a look of strange peace. Reassured by your words that had turned out to be a lie.

“Y/N, you okay?” a voice beside you asked gently. You turned to face the speaker, another nurse coming off shift. You couldn’t recall her name, never having bothered to learn it. Her perky blond ponytail swung as she tilted her head to look at you, blue eyes showing her concern as you clenched your jaw angrily.

“I’m fine,” you ground out finally, and she frowned more deeply at your not fine tone.

“You did everything you could for him, you know. You can’t save everyone and you can’t blame yourself or it’ll destroy you,” she murmured quietly.

Her words triggered your mind to remind you painfully of the very first person you had failed, the image of her corpse still so clear in your memory. You gulped nervously, trying to subdue the dark thoughts as you responded to your colleague.

“I know… but I should’ve been able to save him,” you whispered brokenly. The young woman bit her lip as you struggled to hold back your tears, but as the first sniffles broke through she wrapped you in a hug.

 Caitlyn, that’s her name… Caitlyn.

You hesitantly returned her comforting hug, accepting it for the slim reassurance it could provide. Your breath came out in gasps as you withheld the worst of your pain, not knowing enough about Caitlyn to trust her with your past. Even as the thought formed in your mind, you caught a whiff of her shampoo as her ponytail swung past your dripping nose.

 Cinnamon. Just like Lara.

Suddenly you couldn’t breathe, frozen like a deer in the headlights as the painful memories rushed through you. Over the years, you’d gotten skilled at subduing them whenever something brought it back to the surface, and you used all your will power to shove it back down into the hole you kept it buried in. Even so, your heart ached at the reminder, making sure you never forgot that day. You pulled away from Caitlyn, arranging your features to show her a teary smile.

“You gonna get home okay?” she asked you kindly. “I can give you a ride if you need it.”

You nodded your head, a rueful glint entering your eyes as you looked at her.

“I live two blocks away. I’ll be all right. Thank you, Caitlyn,” you answered, wiping away the last remnants of your tears. You couldn’t help but hope she’d leave you alone now, and to your relief she turned away to leave with a final worried glance.

The walk home was usually a time of quiet reflection for you, a chance to review all you’d done in the hours at the ER and to tally the lives saved against the lives lost, the scales never tipping to the side of life enough for your satisfaction. That night, you couldn’t remember a single person you helped over the last few hours, the guilt over the single death too heavy to bear.

 If only I’d gotten him a transfusion from the start. If only the surgery room had been ready. If only, if only, if only…

You sighed to yourself as you looked forward to the bottle of whiskey waiting for you in your tiny apartment; knowing you had the next day off, you planned to drink until you couldn’t think anymore. A tradition whenever someone died in your arms, something to indulge in to avoid the solitude of your lonely apartment, where not even a goldfish waited for your return.

The familiar wooden sign greeted you from over the doorway as you reached home, its cheerful yellow paint welcoming friends inside. You liked to pretend you’d someday actually invite someone over, but in the five years you’d lived in Red Grave City, you hadn’t allowed a single person to enter your heart, let alone your home.

 Too easy to get hurt or to hurt someone. Better to be alone.

The cheap door creaked open and you quickly closed it behind you, alone at last. The keys went in the small bowl on the side table in the entrance, coat on the hook. Shoes kicked off to the corner. With a soft click, you turned on the lights of your small retreat.

You shuffled your way into the living room, the whiskey waiting for you on the coffee table as you plopped into the cushions of your hideous orange couch. You didn’t bother with a glass, taking a sip straight from the glass bottle as you flicked on the television. You took another long gulp as you looked for something to watch, eventually settling on an over the top romantic comedy.

You kept drinking and the terrible movie became funnier with each tingly swallow. By the time the film was over, you were buzzed enough to be satisfied. Another movie began and you pulled your throw blanket over you as you settled in to watch, letting the fantasy take you away from your own problems.

__________________________________

 “…live from downtown, still unclear what exactly I’m looking at but it appears to be some kind of structure, Lisa.”

 Deet deet deet deedle! Deet deet deet deedle!

The standard ringtone of your cell phone felt alarmingly loud as you slowly cleared the fog from your mind. You barely glanced at the TV screen as you groggily fumbled for the small device, hitting the green “accept” button and holding it up to your drool-covered cheek.

“Hello…?” you mumbled.

 “Oh, thank god! Honey, where are you? Are you okay? What’s going on?”

You sat up with a grimace at the panic in your mother’s voice, her shrill tone a far cry from her normally calm demeanor.

“Mom? What’re you talking about?” you replied quizzically.

 “The tower! It’s all over the news!!”

The confusion swirling in your mind shifted to fear as you saw the screen at last, the reporter standing before a massive grey structure in an area you easily recognized as only a few blocks away.

 “…started only a few shorts hours ago. Officials are urging residents to stay indoors until they can assess the threat, but many locals have come to see the tower for themselves. Some religious groups are already flooding the area, claiming this to be a sign from God. All I can say for sure, Lisa, is that this thing is now the tallest point within three miles…”

The reporter continued talking, but you weren’t paying any attention anymore as you took in what he was talking about – the enormous grey tower that stood behind him in the shot, dominating the screen and dwarfing the mass of people crowded by its base.

 What… the… fuck…?

Chaos erupted on the screen a moment later as something punched a hole through the tower, what looked like a man and a huge beast jumping down from the new opening milliseconds later. They were too far from the camera for you to see them clearly, only dim outlines in the background of the crappy TV you’d had since college.

 “Did you see that?! What is going on? Honey, you need to leave before the roads get too crowded! It isn’t safe there!”

The reporter on the screen was clearly as baffled as you were, his mouth dropping open and eyes widening comically as he struggled to find words to describe the scenario. He kept glancing back to the structure as he tried to do his job, but before he had the chance to speak again, everything changed.

Something had clearly gone wrong with the camera person; the view shifted to one from the ground as if the camera had been dropped. You could hear screams and watched in bewilderment as a tendril burst from the ground, its tip a gleaming point of sharp thorns. The image of that cruel spike streaking forward to embed itself in the reporter’s stomach dissolved the last of your remaining buzz, sobriety hitting you like a brick wall as his wails of terror echoed from your TV.

 “Oh, god… Y/N, get out of there now! RUN!”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll call you when it’s safe. I love you mom!” you answered hurriedly, already rushing toward the door. You stuffed your feet back into your work shoes, slung your jacket over your shoulders and grabbed your keys. Out of habit, you took a moment to lock the door behind you before sprinting down the hallway.

Outside, you got your first look at the structure for yourself.

Its massive form rose from downtown, black and imposing. You followed its outline with your stunned eyes, looking for the top but unable to find it; it was far too tall. The structure wasn’t here when you had gotten home from work, and construction couldn’t possibly have erected such an imposing thing in the scant time since then. Its origin couldn’t possibly be natural.

 So… where did it come from then?

A low rumble broke your confused thoughts as you watched a tentacle burst through the asphalt ahead. Your baffled mind struggled to process the sight as the cruelly sharp tip darted down to embed itself in the stomach of another pedestrian, a scream of pain following its sickening squelch as it struck home.

Bile rose in your throat as you instinctively moved, rushing forward even as your mind screamed at you to run away. The hideous tentacle pulled back, the impaled woman falling to the ground bonelessly as it rose again to search for its next target. A surge of adrenaline gushed through you, and you somehow managed to dodge the spike as you reached forward to pull the woman out of its range. Her blood left a streak of crimson on the sidewalk behind as you dragged her to safety.

Only then did you look down, taking stock of the damage.

Her face was already frozen in death, a look of utter terror and bewilderment marring her plain features forever. You shuddered, adding her face to the ever-growing ledger of death in your mind. You stood slowly, wiping her blood on your jeans and turning away. The street was crowded by then, more and more people coming outside to see what all the noise was from.

 This is bad. They’re all going to die if they stay here.

“Hey! Everybody! You can’t stand around and watch, you’ll die! Come on, let’s go!” you shouted, a scant few heads turning to listen but far too many people ignoring your warning. You marched up to a young woman tugging a child along by the hand, their faces more curious than scared. You reached out to tap her shoulder and she glanced back at you as you spoke.

“Lady, you’re gonna get yourself and your kid killed! Look, see those tentacles? I just saw one stab someone to death with just one stroke. You have to leave, now!”

She paused, her eyes shifting to see the tentacle you indicated. Her curiosity turned to fear as she took in its sharp point, giving you a grateful nod as she turned away to drag her child somewhere safe.

You repeated your dire warning to over a dozen more bystanders, but only a third of them took you seriously and ran away. You shoved your tiredness down, your long workday making your steps drag slightly as you pressed on, determined to save as many people as you could.

You watched in horror as another few tentacles sprouted from the ground, impaling a few unlucky souls and raising their bodies like trophies to the sky. More bile rose in your throat as you heard their wails of pain and confusion. You kept moving forward, still shouting warnings to anyone who’d listen. Another tentacle rumbled out of the pavement a mere three feet from where you stood, its cruel tip gleaming in the streetlights. You stumbled slightly, leaning against the brickwork of an apartment building to keep yourself from falling to the ground.

Your exhaustion tugged at you fiercely and your eyes fluttered closed against your will as the tentacle took aim at you. All thought ceased in your mind as your death approached.

With your eyes closed, you didn't see the dark-haired man sprinting at you. You didn’t see him drop a hand-carved silver cane and slide on his hip towards you as if he was stealing third base for the Yankees. You didn’t hear his low grunt as he pushed his arm out, rising to his feet just in front of you. You didn’t see the intricate pattern on his arm lighten, or the panther explode into existence mere feet in front of you, killing the tentacle with a single swipe of its lethally sharp claws almost as quickly as it had appeared.

Instead, what you next perceived was a warm hand on your side, pushing you to the right. You opened your fear-dilated eyes, shocked that you’re still alive, and immediately caught your breath.

The man who stood before you wore a look of concern on his ridiculously, unfairly handsome features. His intense gaze caught your attention first, irises the shade of muted emeralds, glinting with every flash of light. Dark eyelashes framed his long stare, thick eyebrows only adding to the expressiveness of his piercing gaze. A prominent nose flowed from his brow line above his full, pink lips, parted as he breathed heavily before you. Beautifully intricate tattoos covered his body, partially concealed by his clothing but clearly visible on his long, toned arms. The black of the ink on his skin only served to contrast his alabaster skin tone. His hair was as dark and shiny as obsidian, barely brushing the collar of his black leather vest.

"You must move, you cannot stay here!" the beautiful stranger declared urgently with a voice like velvet.

Goddamnit, could he be any more attractive?

You tried to take a step but discovered you couldn’t find the strength, your exhaustion overwhelming you at last. He paused, seeming to study your expression and huffed in irritation.

"Fine, I'll help you then," he announced, and suddenly you were against him. You blushed scarlet as he picked you up, carrying you in his lean arms towards a nearby van. The motion shook you out of your worn-out stupor enough to be embarrassed by your helplessness.

"I - I'm sorry, I think I can walk now," you told him shakily.

He gently placed your legs on solid ground with a nod. He turned to survey the area, presumably to check for more tentacles. You took a moment to search for nearby people you could warn and found a pair, shouting the now familiar warning as you saw the panther fighting. Its form shape-shifted periodically into new shapes full of sharp edges and harsh points and your mind struggled to comprehend how this was possible, trying fruitlessly to make sense of all the outlandish sights you’d seen in the last ten minutes.

 What the fuck is going on?

The stranger grabbed your hand, dragging you towards the van once more, and you tried to focus on the vehicle to avoid thinking about how many of your neighbors were now dead. It was an odd contraption, clearly customized with a neon sign on the side which read “Devil May Cry” and a laughably false phone number listed beneath it. Its grey and white paint was coated in dust and what looked like blood, not all of it dry. On his way to the van, the stranger only paused to lean over and pick up an ornate silver cane, flicking it to his side in a clearly practiced motion. You found yourself once again unable to comprehend what happened next as a cloud of black shards left his tattooed arm, drifting to the air nearby and forming a magnificent blue bird, the strangest you’d ever seen with a three-pronged beak and purple legs that seemed far too large for its body.

The bird laughed and dove at the nearest tentacle, slashing it with its talons. You heard the outlandish creature curse as the tentacle tried to stab it as it attacked.

The back door of the van suddenly crashed open, drawing your attention as a white-haired man leaned out. He was young, around your age if you had to guess. An absolutely huge sword was strapped to his back, and he waved you forward with an oversized pistol in hand.

"Hurry, we gotta go NOW, V!" he hollered. He hurriedly stowed the pistol and reached out to help you inside, the dark-haired man not far behind you. To your surprise, the panther also jumped into the van. The second you were all inside, the van took off at a speed that was nearly as terrifying as almost being impaled by mysterious tentacles, accelerating faster than you imagined a vehicle of its size could manage. Outside the van, you caught a glimpse of the strange bird you saw moments ago, flapping hard to keep up with the racing vehicle.

"Hold on, folks!" a feminine voice with a southern drawl yelled from the driver’s seat. You grabbed onto the nearest solid object, an odd countertop hidden in the corner and held on for dear life as the van dashed through the city, to somewhere (you hoped) very, VERY far away.

---V---

V looked over at the young woman he'd just rescued, wondering how long it would be before you were calm enough to think clearly. Your hands were shaking, eyes wide and dilated. As he watched, your jaw clenched and your hands steadied as you inhaled deeply. You closed your eyes, let out the breath in a reassuring sigh and turned to face him as the van sped past the crowds of terrified residents, various pieces of kitchen equipment and power tools clanging at every pothole Nico drove over.

"Thank you for saving me. I... I think I would be dead if not for you," you whispered softly. Your eyes were still fearful, but you seemed coherent enough. He took a moment to gaze at you, taking in your appearance. You had gentle features; a kind face. He felt an odd sensation in his stomach as he recalled your words.

"And the maiden soon forgot her fear. Are you alright? Perhaps you ought to sit down," he responded gently and gestured at the worn couch under the window.

You nodded and cautiously made your way to it, keeping your knees bent to compensate for Nico’s wild movements. As you moved, V studied you more closely. He was curious - most civilians didn’t exhibit this level of stoic acceptance after first encountering the demonic roots, not to mention the fact that you had been actively trying to warn others and urging them to run. Your quick calmness was... intriguing. He couldn't tell if you had any demonic blood, but you obviously weren't unfamiliar with fear. No one who could calm themselves that quickly was new to the feeling, he knew.

"My name is V, that's Nero, and Nico is driving. Griffon is outside and her name is Shadow. What shall we call you?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the van wall casually. He gestured to each named being as he introduced them, Griffon and Shadow returning to him as the vehicle got farther away from danger. Your eyes widened as the black shards sank into his skin.

You glanced away, quick to look elsewhere as your cheeks flush slightly, he noticed. Perhaps she’s embarrassed about needing to be saved?

"My name is Y/N. Nice to meet you all,” you responded finally. “Um, do you know what those... tentacle things were? Where did they come from?"

V smirked. This might take a while to explain.

---Reader---

 Demons.

 Demons are real.

 Demons are real and attacking my home.

"Holy shit," you exclaimed, eyes wide, looking back and forth between the two men. "So, wait, how do you kill them? Why are they here? How can we stop them from killing people?"

Nero laughed, but not unkindly. He seemed genuinely amused as he sat down on your right, leaning back against the couch cushion nonchalantly.

"Slow down, Y/N! They aren't too hard to kill, at least the lower powered ones. Pretty much anything that would kill a human can kill a demon; guns, swords, punches, you get the idea. Don't really know why they're here, but V might."

V smirked, his full lips twisting in a way that made your eyes flick to them for a heartbeat too long. You scolded yourself; this isn't the time for that!

"They are here because of Urizen. The Demon King, as he calls himself. For now, we should find somewhere to rest, gather resources. As for you, Y/N, forgive me but you don't seem like you're quite up to fighting demons. We can take you to the edge of the city, but from there you must make your own way to safety."

You paused, considering his words. He wasn't wrong; you had no combat experience and didn’t know how to be helpful in a fight. Not to mention you were completely terrified, as well as you tried to conceal it.

 This is insanity. These people are mad, fighting those things. We should all just run, go somewhere else and leave this city as far behind as possible.

Yet even the thought of abandoning the people still in the city felt... wrong. You didn't want to run from this, especially not with this feeling, like you were magnetized to this group. You couldn’t just walk away when so many people were dying; you had to balance the scales!

 I’m going to get myself killed. What am I thinking, I can’t help people if I’m dead! But.. there are so many people here. They’re all going to die too.

You took a deep breath before speaking, brutally shoving your fear to the farthest corner of your mind and focusing on what little you could do to help the small group.

"It's true, I'm not really a fighter. I’m a nurse, and I've been studying surgical procedures to prepare for medical school. I can help you if anyone gets injured. As much as I'd like to not have to face those things ever again, it wouldn't be right if I left. I wouldn't feel right," you explained uneasily, hoping the group didn't judge you too harshly for your previous terror.

V raised an eyebrow at that, then glanced at Nero. “The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest,” he recited simply. Nero shrugged, and for the first time you got a good look at his right arm. You gasped as you saw the haphazard bandages covering a stump, blood stains showing in a deep rust shade, a recent amputation that clearly hadn’t been taken care of properly.

"At the very least let me dress that! You'll get an infection or sepsis; it could kill you!"

V snorted, to your surprise. "You mean he would be... dead weight?" he commented, obviously amused. His intense emerald eyes flicked to yours as if sharing an intimate joke, and you smiled at him hesitantly.

Nero turned red, muttering to himself for a moment about someone named Dante, then nodded at you sullenly. Clearly V’s words had hit a sore spot.

"Fine, when we stop you can take a look," he grumbled. He shot a glare at V, then shuffled off to sit in the front with Nico, leaving you alone with the obsidian haired man. You could hear them talking for a while but couldn't tell what they were saying. You turned back to V, mind still whirling with questions.

His long fingers pulled a thin book from within his leather vest, clearly preparing to read. You swallowed your questions for the time being, not wanting to interrupt the strange man’s reading.

 I need to rest; I can barely keep my eyes open. The adrenaline must be fading.

You leaned back into the couch, reassured that with this group you could sleep in safety, closed your eyes and drifted off into oblivion.

__________________________________

You dreamt of the past. Your mind never blessed you with pleasant dreams anymore, always seeking to understand, to learn more from memories that your waking mind knew would bring only pain. Memory is the enemy of peace, after all.

The familiar sounds were there, as always. The crack of glass breaking and the high-pitched screams of your friend, the unmistakable sound of her gasping breaths.

Then the visuals. Shadows dancing like a sick ballet on the wall of the shed. Dead eyes staring up at you as a warning. The flash of light on gleaming steel as ---

__________________________________

You awakened with a jolt as Nico slammed the brakes, causing you to slide unceremoniously into V. He had sat down at some point next to you. With lightning reflexes, his arm shot out and held you close as the rattling van mercifully slid to a full stop, keeping you from falling to the floor. You could feel him breathing under you, smell his scent of leather and lavender. The combined sensory input was... intoxicating. You tried to pull away, but he held you for a split second before letting go. You blushed furiously, sure that he was teasing you. You couldn’t bear to look at him so you missed the look of regret he gave you and didn’t see him lick his lips before speaking.

"Are you alright, Y/N?" he inquired softly, his tone almost a growl.

You internally cursed his voice for having such a pleasant sound before responding.

"Yeah, thanks for the help... again."

V chuckled under his breath, then returned to his reading. Sitting so close to him, you caught a glimpse inside the pages to see a flowing script and beautifully colored illustrations. Forgetting your embarrassment and the lingering fear from the nightmare, you asked what he was reading.

"Poetry. Would you like to hear some?" he responded, his voice like warm honey.

The thought of his voice reciting poetry sent your mind spinning. Nope, no way, nuh uh, you’ve already made enough of an ass out of yourself, so you just hold your horses there, girl. There’re bigger things to be worried about anyway, like DEMONS!

"Sure,” your rebellious mouth stated.

 Goddamit. Stupid mouth.

He smiled, gaze returning to the pages as he chose a piece to read.

“I will not cease from mental fight, Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand, Till we have built Jerusalem, In England’s green and pleasant land,” he recited, his voice melodious and perfectly timed.

“Beautiful,” you whispered, the words rolling in your mind as you digested them, finding meaning in the short excerpt as a low hum of recognition passed through you. “Is that… William Blake?”

V nodded, seemingly taken aback.

“You enjoy poetry?” he asked you.

You felt your cheeks tinting as he studied you intently as you replied, “I guess you could say I’m a bit of a bookworm. Literature is a gift.”

The outer corners of his lips twitched, smiling for a fraction of an instant. If you had blinked you would have missed it. He seemed pleased by your response and you smiled at him shyly, shifting your weight awkwardly.

“I couldn’t agree more, much to our companions dismay. They are of a different mindset,” he replied thoughtfully.

“What’s your favorite poem, V?” you probed him, enjoying the chance to talk with someone who shared your enjoyment of words.

“I’ve come to enjoy The Book of Thel a great deal, are you familiar?”

It rang a bell but you couldn’t remember any details of the work.

“I read it many years ago, though I can’t remember any of it now,” you responded.

“Allow me, then; Why thou complainest not when in one hour thou fade away: Then we shall seek thee but not find; ah Thel is like to thee. I pass away, yet I complain, and no one hears my voice.”

You sat in silence, letting the words sink in. V’s soothing voice added a layer of complexity to them, sounding quite sad and mournful as he recited.

Luckily for you, Nero chose that exact moment to trudge over to you with a small red box labeled "first aid". He sighed, seeming to have resigned himself to your treatment.

As if it isn't in his best interest anyway.

"Let's get this over with, Y/N," he grunted. V stood and gave you a nod as he walked away a few feet to continue his reading. You focused your mind on the task at hand, pushing the memory of his voice away.

---V---

V watched you gently remove the bandages from Nero's arm, trying to figure out his reaction to your words. None of the others he had become familiar with enjoyed poetry, several rolling their eyes the first few times he quoted a line in conversation until they became accustomed and ignored it entirely. He felt his heart warm slightly by the shared enjoyment, a distraction from his mission. A pleasant distraction, but a distraction nonetheless. He must remain focused - he didn't have time for any fellowships or pleasant conversations.

Yet still, he found himself watching you redress Nero's arm, wondering what your touch felt like. Perhaps that was it? Perhaps he simply wanted to be touched, to feel connected? That would explain most of his reactions to you so far.

 Enough of this. Focus. Too much is at stake.

He mentally shook himself and returned his gaze to the words on the painted pages before him, forcing himself to pay attention and read the now familiar text.

  I am in you, and you in me. Mutual in divine love.

V sighed and rolled his eyes.

 How unhelpful.

He glanced back at you and Nero, seeing you smile at something the white haired warrior had said. Laughing. He wondered what that felt like as well, to share mirth in such a way with another person.

A memory played in his mind, of many years ago. It was a simple one, a trifle really. He was playing with Dante in the backyard, not long before... before. The two of them were laughing together over a fort they had built out of sticks, the structure haphazard and childish. Their mother was nearby, keeping a careful eye on them as they played.

He smiled softly at the thought, wondering if Dante had any fond memories of them as children. Somehow, he doubted it.

Again with the distractions. Enough is enough.

V looked out the window, easily spotting the already massive tree in the center of town. The sight helped him focus, helped him remember his priorities.

---Reader---

After removing the old bandages, you took a moment to examine the wound. It was in bad shape, looking as if Nero had initially seen a doctor but later popped the stitches in at least three places, leaving open wounds to fester and bleed freely. There was already a slight infection, but nothing too serious if he let you take care of it and didn’t do anything stupid.

“How long ago did this happen, Nero?” you asked.

“It was April 30th, so sixteen days ago,” he informed you as he watched you examine him.

“Ah, alright then. It should heal fully in about two to six more weeks, until then you need to change the bandage at least once a day, if not more,” you explained to the willful young man.

You dug through the poorly organized first aid kit, finding an unopened bottle of antiseptic and several rolls of bandages. Some gauze patches lied on the bottom.

 Perfect, now all I need is a towel or a bowl.

You looked to your left and right, eventually finding a small cup that would work well enough. You carefully angled Nero’s arm over the cup and got the antiseptic ready.

“This will hurt a bit, Nero,” you warned him. He nodded, ready, and you slowly poured the fluid over his injury and let it drip into the waiting cup below. He grunted but didn’t pull away. Once the drips had slowed enough, you laid a gauze patch over his half-healed stitches, using one hand to hold it in place as your other reached to grasp the bandage roll. You used your teeth to get the first portion open, proceeding to gently but firmly wrap up Nero’s arm. You used the scissors from the kit to cut the end and secured it with a satisfied smile.

“All set,” you told him.

Nero carefully moved his arm, testing the bandage's flexibility. You knew he would, he seemed the type to never hold still if he could help it. You’d seen many people like him come through the emergency room, struggling to hold still as you treated whatever they came in for even as their lack of stillness worsened their condition.

"Feels good, Y/N! Thanks! You are handy!" He jumped up, throwing a few experimental punches, bobbing and weaving like he was in a boxing match with Muhammad Ali himself. You laughed as he feigned dodging a blow; his antics allowed you to forget the horrors of what you’d witnessed for an all-too-brief moment.

"Hey hey hey, not in the van! Take it outside, jerkwad!" Nico exclaimed hurriedly, coming out from her perch in the drivers seat. She pushed Nero towards the door, forced him outside and slammed the door behind him.

“Sheesh, what an ass…” she muttered under her breath, but you could tell she meant it with affection. She looked like she’d be happiest on a construction site or in a garage. A multitude of tools were strapped to her shorts and you could see oil on her arms, along with tattoos that seemed to revolve around guns and skulls. She pulled out a cigarette, lighting it as she leaned over to you.

“Hi, I’m Nico. Welcome to the Devil May Cry-mobile, I’m your resident genius gunsmith and artist extraordinaire. You joinin’ the team? Would be nice to have another lady along for the ride!”

Your eyes flicked to V as your thoughts debated your options again.

 What about my life? What about going back to school, learning to be a trauma surgeon? Can I really justify putting that on hold, maybe even abandoning it entirely to help these people?

 …How can I not?

V smirked knowingly but nodded before following Nero outside, waving his hand through a cloud of Nico’s expelled cigarette smoke as he passed.

“I guess I am,” you replied, smiling and doing your best to ignore the panic in your mind at the thought of staying in an area full of... demons. The thought of their existence brought a surreal feeling to your mind and you wondered if this entire day had been a dream. A new nightmare shaped to ensure you paid it the attention it demanded.

“Awesome! You wouldn’t happen to know how to cook, would’ja? Nero’s hopeless and V’s somehow worse, and my cooking skills don’t extend beyond cereal and mac and cheese,” she asked with a smile on her face.

You found her smile infectious, and you felt your own lips stretching into a grin as well as you responded, “I’m no master chef, but I get by all right.”

She clapped your back in a friendly manner, taking a pull from her cigarette. The tang of nicotine filled the air as she exhaled, the enclosed space holding the smoke captive. You ignored the scent, used to it after years of exposure.

“All right! Well, we’re probably gonna stay here for the night, kitchen’s in that corner if you’re hungry. The guys generally sleep outside but I think you could squeeze in here with me for now. Sound good?”

You nodded, grateful for her easy acceptance of you even as your mind still struggled to control your overwhelming fear. You found yourself warming to her quickly, despite a history of not getting along well with other women. Glancing at the kitchen, you spotted the cereal she mentioned sitting atop a stovetop. There were a few cupboards but not much else. You hoped you could gather some basic food staples in the morning, but for now the call of hunger was weaker than the call of rest. You yawned, almost cracking your jaw in the process.

“Here, I’ll get ya a pillow and another blanket, bout ready to crash myself!” Nico commented. She opened another cupboard, pulling out a small but fluffy looking pillow and a fleece blanket. She handed them to you, put out her cigarette in an ashtray nearby and gave you a salute before climbing a tiny ladder to what you assumed was a hidden bed.

“Goodnight, Nico. Thanks,” you said through another yawn. You heard a soft click and the van went dark.

“No problem, new girl. Night!”

~~~~Next Chapter~~~~

[stusbunker]

Lay Me Down

A Supernatural Fan-fiction

Featuring: Sam and Dean Winchester, unnamed female character/ reader, Castiel, briefly Jack

A/N: Show level violence and gore. Lots of gunshots, attempted suicide(bad guy). Angst. Character death. I decided to try this for @supernatural-jackles #Weekly Writing Challenge. Prompts will be in bold. I have about fifty other things I should be writing and of course this came out instead. Case is rushed, but action demanded it. xoxo Stu

Word Count: ~3388

Song Inspired: All the Pretty Girls by Kaleo

“What?” Sam recoiled at her smug display.

“She totally wanted to take a bite of you, man,” she warned, leaning back to watch the cop retreat behind her desk.

Dean sneaked up on them at just the right moment. “What are we looking at?”

“The cop making goo-goo eyes at your brother.”

“Not the time, Sammy. We have a team ganking those poor saps, so we need our A game.”

Sam stammered, “I wasn’t-”

“Later, Romeo.” She pulled him out of the precinct by linking their arms, patting on his large hand as to comfort him of his loss. The Impala waited for them at the curb outside and in less than ten minutes they found their next stop, the only store in town that carried ammo. Whoever they were hunting seemed to like their magic with a side of gunshot wounds, that’s why no one else had put two and two together. Until Sam got the autopsy reports emailed to him, anonymously.

C.O.D. may have been G.S.W. to the chest, but whatever potions they had added to the bullets left the people purple husks of themselves. Five victims over twelve months in a town with little other major crime. The public were passed high alert and into panic mode. The locals practically threw a party for the fake Federal Agents that morning, and not just the chipper traffic cop. Everyone wanted answers.

^*^

After narrowing down the suspect pool, Dean called Cas in. He didn’t want anyone to be left without back up and with what seemed to be two witches at work, neither were to be underestimated.

“What I don’t get is why shoot them, then poison them,” Dean groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Tell me about it, is it just to confuse the M.E.?”

“Not a very innocuous way to destroy evidence,” Sam added, closing the folder in his lap.

“That can’t be it. Whatever magic this is, it isn’t a poison. Because that would be cleaner than shooting someone. The potion must be for something else,” Dean continued.

“It’s a soul siphoning serum,” Castiel had been squinting at the photographs from the morgue.

“Say that five times fast,” Dean said under his breath, she couldn’t help but laugh as he goaded her.

“So whoever is doing this is sucking out the victims’ souls?” Sam cleared his throat, giving his brother and their friend a teacher’s scowl.

“It’s like a conduit, instead of the soul being released by the witch or more likely warlock, the serum allows the power of the deceased’s soul to be absorbed by the spell’s caster,” Castiel grabbed a pen and started writing down some runes.

Meanwhile she got Sam’s attention, “how much do you guys know about warlocks?”

“Uh, some, I think Cuthbert Sinclair probably was the closest we’ve dealt with,” Sam frowned as his focus turned back to his laptop.

“Not that douche, so what, we’ve got people’s souls in jars or is it an instant recharge button. Boom, the bastards get some more pep in their step?” Dean waited for Cas to finish his scribbling.

“It’s a lot more than pep, Dean. If we are going in, we need to set up a trap. As warlocks tap into demonic energy, these should dampen their powers, but at least one of them will still have elevated abilities.”

“Still got those witch killing bullets, boys?” She sat up straight, determination masking the fear in her eyes.

“Never leave the Bunker without them,” Sam smirked.

“Sam and I will work on, enhancing, the ammunition for a warlock,” Cas suggested. “You two work out exactly who they are and how we can draw them out.”

^*^

“You know teasing Sam about girls is about the fastest way to get him to retreat, right?” Dean asked her once they were comfortably down the road.

“Dean, stop, okay? It’s not like that, with either of you,” she looked him dead in the eye as he cocked his head and considered her rebuttal.

“You jumped on that pretty fast,” licking his lips like the smooth bastard he was. “But I was talking in general, you know. Girls and Sam are a touchy subject.”

“After Eileen?”

“Um, yeah, but there were others and each one ended wrong. But don’t tell him I told you that.”

“Won’t, plus it’s not like you have a list of epic romances that ended mutually. None of us do, that’s not hunter style, not really,” she called him out and summed it up, like she always did. Speaking hard truths and kicking ass. Ignoring and denying herself, because there were more important things. Dean nodded, squinting into the afternoon sunshine. She wondered if he owned a pair of sunglasses or if he just liked straining his eyes. Dumb ass.

Dean pulled into the circular drive of the looming old house, though it was immaculately cared for, it still wore its years at the seams. She led the charge to the ornate front door, hoping the well-respected Mason wasn’t an unholy murderer all the same. Dean scowled as the door remained unanswered, though two vehicles were visible in the car port. As they peeked in different windows, their suspicions were verified when a rumble erupted from inside the house.

They drew their weapons and as Dean squared himself to kick in the door, it burst open. A golden blast of light sent him and the door on top of him back ten feet. Dean rolled, hunching against the cruel landing on the front lawn.

“Freeze, Federal Agents,” she tried to keep charade, at least for the neighbors who may be home during the day.

“Sorry, honey, but you’re coming with me,” the man’s unnaturally breathy voice answered. And before she could reply or Dean could focus enough to aim, they disappeared.

“Fuck!” Dean roared.

^*^

Cas and Sam took a cab and met Dean outside the house as the locals swarmed the premises after being called in for a disturbance. Dean was talking to the lead detective about what happened, who insisted he get checked out after losing consciousness.

“Dean, we can’t do a thorough search with all of these people aggravating the contents of the house,” Cas worried.

“Yeah, well, better than letting them search it alone and end up a toad or worse,” Dean snipped, giving Cas his sad half smile.

“We’ll get her back, Dean.”

“Oh, you bet your ass we will.” He wouldn’t look his brother in the eye.

Two hours passed where nothing exploded or remotely magically was found on any level of the house. Dean’s agitation grew by the minute.

“Okay, I, uh, we all need something to do. So let’s get back to the motel and regroup, find the partner, maybe, or –”

“Sounds like a plan, food on the way?”

It was the damn coroner the whole time. Which they only discovered after reviewing the autopsy reports that Sam had been sent versus the official ones, which were lousy with muted details and outright omissions. They waited for night fall and made their way back to the morgue.

^*^

It was a trap, she was bait and she was pissed. Mouth breather one and clammy hands doctor were slowly trying to take over the town. Power hungry loners together at last. Luckily, she knew the guys would be prepared for anything, but it didn’t make the worry stop churning in her gut. Instead of focusing on the negative, she used her time to figure out what made each man tick.

Obviously, Mister pillar-of-the-community was the dominant personality while the M.E. was the minion. She tried not to let her biases determine who had just sucked down a soul, but it seemed like her kidnapper wasn’t the type to share such power. He certainly wasn’t the type to stick around and babysit her. He left her in the back office with his sidekick going on an hour and a half. Before she could properly sweet talk the pasty coroner, her rescue team arrived.

They sent in Castiel, in scrubs, she caught his reflection in the window from the hallway, which she figured was because he hadn’t been on the case during initial interviews. But it was a small town and any new face caused justifiable distrust. While Cas waited for whatever paperwork or samples he had been sent to claim, she worked on freeing herself.

*^*

With the second can of spray paint emptied along the surrounding corridor, Sam signaled Dean to move on. Everything seemed to move in cornered urgency once the lights went out. When the emergency spots came on at the exits, Dean spotted him approaching, tendrils of magic crawling from his eyes, a deep amber pendant pulsing at his throat as he threw everything he had at the hunters. Both men were pinned to the wall, backs rattling the blinds on the opposite side of the windows where Cas was trying to buy them time.

“What was that?!”

“I’m not sure, perhaps you should check?” Cas tried, he really did, but he still wasn’t very convincing. The coroner froze for two beats as he waited for Castiel to move, panic won out and he dove back into the office to ensure their bait was still on the hook. The door slammed in Cas’s face, handle burning hot with warding. Cas’s grace blazed through him as he tried to break the enchantment stopping him. The sound of choking forced him to turn around and see what the Winchesters were facing in the hall.

^*^

She stumbled out the back, trying to breach the heavy emergency door as quietly as possible. The cement steps continued out into the base of a massive retaining wall and another set of stairs. She threw herself forward hoping to find the Impala and any of its weapons to circle back. She heard the door burst open behind her as she reached the final stair, but she didn’t look back. She ran with everything she had to reach the corner of the building and the hope of suitable cover but the shot that echoed in the cool night air was faster.

^*^

Castiel stared at the warlock pinning Sam and Dean in place in confusion, the warding should be dampening his abilities. Castiel reached out with his grace and broke the man’s concentration, pulling him out of his trance.

“He’s channeling powers, besides the souls,” Castiel spoke through the strain.

“Somebody is a quick study, now, uh, what are we, hmmm?” The man’s eyes sparkled as he measured Castiel. “Devon! Devon let’s get this one first. He’s going to be just, divine.”

“He doesn’t have a soul you can suck on, Sparky,” Dean barked, clamping a firm hand on the distracted warlock’s shoulder, as soon as he made contact Dean flew back once more.

“Yes, I know that, Dude, but his Grace is extractable as well, isn’t it?”

“Where is she?” Sam changed the subject, standing beside Castiel. “You’d knew we’d come for her, what did you do with her?”

“Devon has your little pet, quite the talons on that one,” he hummed before gasping, finally a waiver in his resolve. Which is all it took for Dean to try for the amulet at his throat once more. Sam flanked him, grabbing his left hand and locking it into iron shackles. In a split second a shot rang out and the three men fell in a huddle as Cas’s hold broke. Dean wrenched the thick cables of cord from his neck, the magic radiating from the cursed stone. Sam worked to secure the other wrist.

“I think… I think I’ve been shot,” Cas groaned as he slummed against the far wall, along the office door frame.

“Cas?!” Dean was there in four strides, panic filled him as he checked the wound, the bullet still inside him. “Sam!”

Sam kicked away from the nullified warlock. “On it,” he replied as he chased down the infamous sidekick Devon, gun drawn and menacing.

^*^

The cement hit every part of her, a mass of uncontrollable weight fell hard against the wet stone. She should have been uncomfortable, but the magic of the bullet seemed to muffle the pain into a bubble of heat centered just above her bottom ribs. The spell spread quickly, like spilled water on a tabletop, spreading until it had no more volume to spare. She willed herself to roll, to push on, but the magic dulled every resistance. The sky was hard to make out against the fluorescent security lights, but she convinced herself there were stars beyond the false beacons. That there was something worth wishing on.

^*^

“Come on Cas, heal damnit!” Dean growled.

“I am, Dean.” Cas sighed in exasperation, digging the bullet from his vessel before continuing to flood the body with healing light. “The magic was strong, but it wasn’t meant for angels. It will just be a bit longer. Go find Sam and the partner.”

“We still gotta–”

“I’ll find her, in a sec.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, Dean.”

Dean patted his shoulder before checking his gun. As Dean strode passed the prone man, he contemplated putting a bullet straight between the guys’ eyes, but let the urge pass as he raced after his brother.

Cas stood slowly, eyes burning the now terrified man across the hall. He spotted the pendant on the floor where Dean had dropped it and just before he crushed it beneath his heel, Castiel muttered a chilling, “good riddance.”

^*^

There were only a few rooms left where Devon could have gone, but Sam took his time, clearing each office and storage room with the diligence that was ingrained in his very being. He felt Dean behind him, but spun all the same, as the brothers locked eyes they moved to the last room. The chill in the air greeting them as they stepped to either side of the Autopsy Room. The wall of refrigerated beds their only option.

“This guy is whacked,” Dean muttered, starting at the top row and working down.

“Ya think?”

“Uh, Cas is getting her, by the way, but we should get back quick, he’s still weak,” Dean froze in front of the final door, counting down with his fingers.

3-2-1

Sam’s finger was itching on the trigger before they realized it wasn’t Devon, but another victim. A lab tech that Sam recognized from another case, he couldn’t remember her name, but she must have sent him the original reports. Their hearts sank as they left her there on the metal tray. Dean sealed the door once more and they backtracked.

^*^

Cas staggered through the office, finding her restraints empty. He followed her only possible course, quickly ending up outside. The smell of blood and the slowing of a heartbeat pulled the healing angel to the edge of the building.

“Oh no,” Cas fell to his knees, hand sliding down her face to her pulse. “Where?”

“He got me in the back, can you believe it?” She groaned as Castiel carefully slid her on to her side.

“You’re going to be fine.”

“When are we ever fine, Cas?”

^*^

Devon was back in the first hallway, devastated tears pooling down his face as he paced, the damaged necklace clutched in his fist with his gun in the other.

“What happened,” Sam whispered.

“I don’t know, Cas must have snuffed him,” Dean shrugged and aimed. “Devon, come on man, it’s over.”

“You! You did this!” Devon pointed his gun at Dean’s face, his arm visibly trembling with grief.

“No, man, look, I left him where he was, I swear,” Dean held up his hands, belting his weapon with a single glance at Sam, whose was still at the ready.

They were at a standstill, when suddenly Devon countered, “I will make this right.”

“Devon don’t do anything stupid,” Sam barked.

“Loyalty isn’t stupid, even you dude-bros have to know that,” Devon-the-coroner spat.

“What are you talking about?” Dean took a step forward, only to throw his hands back up when Devon squared his shoulders and straightened his gun arm.

“My soul will give him enough power to heal himself,” Devon sniffed and turned the barrel to his temple.

“He’s gone, man. Don’t do this, your life isn’t worth this,” Dean begged.

“Good luck, Matthew,” Devon closed his eyes against the shouts of the hunters, but before he could pull the trigger, Sam did.

Dean spun, incredulous at his brother’s move. “I couldn’t risk it working, Dean,” Sam swallowed, not pleased with making the tough choice.

^*^

She could feel the cool touch of his Grace as he tried to heal her. It was a simple comfort beneath her now unbearable reality. They had her back, even when she couldn’t get back to help them. She watched Cas’s brow furrow as he worked, eyes closed. He always had kind eyes, even when he was furious. It would be a good last face to see. Something more tangible to make her wishes on.

“I just need you to do this one thing for me,” she struggled against the blood filling her lung. “I need you to burn my journal. They, they don’t need to find that. It would only make it, worse.” She swallowed, “D’you hear me?”

Cas leaned forward, struggling to knit her wounds closed, but the more he tried, the harder the magic seeped into her system and pushed back. “You can burn it yourself,” his deep voice clipped.

“Cas? It’s okay, just let me go ‘ith my Reaper. My books have all been swapped out now,” she said simply, with little worry in her voice. But the telltale tears mirrored themselves in the angel’s ancient eyes. He nodded his understanding and watched her go where he was no longer welcome. Though the serum chased her soul, the effects fizzled out as Sam left no spell-caster standing for it to return to. Her soul was safe.

^*^

Dean reached them first, sliding down to their level to lend a hand. The moments of frantically patting at her body only echoed the quiet stillness that was Castiel. Dean’s large palm found her cheek, his eyes burned as he looked into the open lifeless eyes of his friend. He called to her, begged her, berated Cas, but nothing could undo what was done. He rocked her into his lap, holding her to his chest as the weight of her body seemed to increase with every passing agony.

She still smelled the same, sure there was blood and dark magic swirling from her too, but that was just any other hunt. This was just another hunt. He didn’t realize he had lost his grip until Sam pulled him to standing. It took Sam five tries before Dean heard him. Sam gestured to Cas, who held her body in his arms, as they walked back to the Impala. Dean sat in the back with them as only Sam could drive at that point.

Sam didn’t sleep, driving all night only to find Jack to help with the pyre. Cas dragged Dean away so he could wrap the body without him falling apart again. When Dean fell asleep it was with gunsmoke and rust in his nose. He couldn’t dream and found no rest. Sam searched for her, naturally, she was wrapped and waiting on her bed, her hands crossed over her chest beneath the mock-ghost white sheet. It wasn’t how they usually did it, but he didn’t say anything. In truth, Sam was grateful he wouldn’t have to dwell on what the magic had done to her.

His exhales were ragged as he spoke to her, little things about how she always stole his shampoo or sang worse than Dean. Words of gratitude and affirmation that she wouldn’t have accepted were she alive. After more tears and pauses than he would have liked, Sam gave his farewell. Trusting Billie’s minions had taken her to paradise; she deserved the best a hunter could get. Hell, she deserved better.

When he kissed her forehead, Dean’s voice stilled him. “We ready?”

“Never ready for this one,” Sam croaked, but nodded to his brother all the same. He took her shoulders while Dean hooked her knees beneath his elbow. Castiel and Jack followed them out into the woods where they laid her down on the bed of brush and logs in silence.

^*^

@madlu45 @dontshootmespence @mrswhozeewhatsis @mogaruke @because-imma-lady-assface

@seenashwrite How’d I do on the no Y/N part?

[bookaddict24-7]

BOOK REVIEW: The Last Neanderthal by Claire Cameron

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️/5

Age Recommendation: 14+

Genres: Historical Fiction, Survival, Fiction

Add it to your Goodreads here.

Disclaimer:

This is a negative review.

This is a long text post.

This review may contain spoilers.

This is a review of an ARC.

The Last Neanderthal by Claire Cameron is an extremely promising book. From the beautiful cover, to the seemingly enticing story, Cameron’s novel sold itself pretty well. However, I was frustrated by various aspects of this novel because I felt like it could have dealt with various issues in a better way, and the jarring use of dual perspectives really took me out of the story more often than not. 

The Last Neanderthal follows two women during major events of their lives in two very different times in history. One perspective is a modern day woman who has finally discovered the remains of a neanderthal woman in surprisingly close proximity to a modern day human. The other follows a living neanderthal, Girl, who lives in a time where her family is beginning to change in a way that is increasingly making Girl the last neanderthal. Between the two characters, we get a dual story of change and acceptance. 

I admit that I was very intrigued when I first picked up The Last Neanderthal. It looked like a short read (not even three hundred pages), and the prologue held a sort of magic in itself that immediately made me curious. Was this going to have some fantastical elements? Was this going to be an adventure of a read? In hindsight, not reading the synopsis and basing all of my hopes and dreams on a prologue was probably not a good idea. 

Instead of addicting, Cameron’s novel began to feel like a heavy, heavy read. A reading slump threatened on the horizon, and I was seriously contemplating DNFing it because I didn’t want to waste my time. For some reason, however, I really wanted to see how it ended. Spoiler Alert: It wasn’t worth it. 

My biggest dislike about this book isn’t a theme, or a particular writing cliche, but a character. Rosamund, the present day narrator, was incredibly dull, selfish, naive, and just completely unlikable. Most of her storyline is fraught with her worry that being pregnant will impede on her find. She complains and worries and doesn’t appear to give a damn about those she is affecting, including her partner--the father of her unborn child. There is a particular scene where she is rude (for no reason other than the allusion to her pregnancy hormones being the cause) to him and he literally throws a fit while she sits back and just waits for him to get back in the car. Imagine someone being mean to someone else for no reason, then ignoring how upset they’ve made the other person. This isn’t the worst instance of her being a horrible person, but it stands out clearly in my mind. 

Also, Rosamund is constantly certain that she’s being ousted from her find. Despite people assuring her and basically kissing her ass, she is determined that she is being played. Paranoia seems to be a friend of hers as she constantly puts the health and safety of her child at risk because of her obsession about being part of her find. 

One of my main reasons for why I disliked Rosamund, other than the above-mentioned reasons, is that her boring storyline kept interfering with the flow of the novel. I don’t know why the idea of having someone like Rosamund have a voice in a story that could have been deeply compelling was introduced. Girl, the neanderthal, offered a fantastic story of her own. Whenever the risks and adventure rose in Girl’s story, Rosamund came along. I understand the need to build tension, but it was ridiculous. Rather than make me yearn for more of Girl’s story, the interruptions frustrated me. The jarring transitions made me groan aloud and almost throw the book against the wall. 

Perhaps of all of my complaints regarding this book, the poor judgment of braiding these stories together is probably my biggest dislike. Two narratives should work off each other in a book. This time, one narrative would have been sufficient, or even one narrative and one omniscient narrative would have worked better. 

Girl was admittedly much more interesting to me. Her way of life and the creative way that Cameron tells her story was enough to not give this book a solid one star. The emotional aspects of it, the constant allusions to the coming end, and the continuous discoveries while trying to survive had me wanting more. But as Rosamund was an unlikable character for the entirety of the book, Girl became someone that I disliked by the end of the book. 

I understand that certain things need to be done in order to survive. But there were some moments of brutality that didn’t need to happen at the end. It almost felt like gratuitous violence. Girl’s behaviour and actions near the end of the book contradict the character she was earlier on. I know that characters grow and adjust as life changes around them, but it all just felt so sickening. It also felt cheap, like an easy and disturbing way of solving her problems. 

The ending of the book was deeply unsatisfying. All we are left with are assumptions. I’m not saying I wanted a happy ending, but I wanted answers. I wanted more than an open ending that didn’t really explore the major topics brought forward at the end of the book. Again, like the deeply troubling actions of Girl near the end of her story, the ending of The Last Neanderthal feels like a copout. 

I really wanted to like this book. I almost unhauled it, but kept it because it was short and again, that prologue hooked me. This experience has taught me that I shouldn’t judge a book by its size and that the prologue isn’t always a sign of how the rest of the story is written. 

Have you read this book? What were your thoughts?

Happy reading!

[kob131]

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/182328786102/last-train-home-an-ode-to-rwby

It’s over…it’s finally over.

It WAS over Soku. I had actually forgotten about you for a couple of weeks. It was nice and peaceful.

But you just had to cross the line didn’t you? Just had to hurt people because or your own damn ego.

Well...let me give you one last gifton this last train ride home, eh?

Prepare for a long and tired final post.

Prepare for a long and tried final beating.

Look, let me say this;

RWBY volume 6 is a mess and I think that’s the most charitable thing I can say after spending several years of being invested in it’s crumbling world.

Yes because the man who’ll hold up Ada Adel as someone to trust because they confirmed your biases is such a trustworthy person.

Maybe it was laziness, rushed or sheer incompetence that made this season crumble, so in my final review on rwby as a whole I may have to do some guess work at points; and after several wasted years, I’m not in a position to be charitable. 

You know, Su crits like to call Rebecca Sugar lazy, rushed or just incompetent. Does that make it true then?

After all the shit you’ve caused and the pain you’ve made all in your blind egotism, I’m not in a positon to be charitable either.

Nor kind.

I gotta tell you, volume 6 tricked me, hell from what I seen it tricked alot of us, it started off good, we learned thing we should of learned volumes ago. But then I soon realized that this volume was; damage control. We learn of ozpin origins with salem only to not get to absorb it cause we soon learn through obvious reasons that maria was a silver eyed warrior and when ruby finally starts training, we meet one of jaune’s sisters, also pyrrha’s statue is there but also neo is back, but so is adam and cinder, also mercury has no semblance, tyrian has a new tail.

Nah Soku-

Pretending to apologize while trying to justify stabbing a friend in the back is trickery and damage control. 

You just listed listening to criticism. Something that Miles and Kerry apparently don’t do.

see what I mean? before you could absorb one thing, two more pop up in its place and there’s such a lack in structure in the world, characters their growth development and their dimensions, the magic and power system that ruby is just a mess that gets increasingly worse as it progresses, they take one forward only to stumble several feet back and fall on their ass. And maybe one of the problem is I listen to writers commentary, to someone who doesn’t they won’t see as many problems as I do but when you actually listen to it you see the many problems it has with how this series is handled.

‘Such a lack of structure, development and systems that I won’t even try to explain myself and just feed everyone’s confirmation biases because every single time I tried explaining myself the only people who agreed where the same damn people as always with no attempts at criticism so I have long since figured out that no one around me gives a single flying shit about actual critical thought and just wants to hear their own opinions repeated and confirmed so they can feel smart instead of actually improving. Because shit, I think I’m so great that surely no one like me needs to improve.’

A reboot is at this point completely necessary and needed for this series to make even a semblance of sense. Semblance, Aura and Dust are so poorly handled and explained that they changed at several points.

Semblance was originally something you could use when your aura was completely depleted before requiring aura to use. Except when it’s not but also when it can be, it changes at the drop of a hat, we see yang use her semblance with no aura in her vol 5 trailerdespite miles changing it almost instantly afterwards…

You know, because Monty just wanted random superpowers without limitations and they had to fix that with a logical explanation because Semblances were said to0 be manifestations of Aura and yet they didn't affect each other. But yeah, that one instance that isn’t actually what you said it was because her aura didn’t break is total proof to reboot the series and scrub the original creator out of his one and only original work he wanted to make his whole life because your lying ass said so.

When I started rwby I was optimistic it could be a great show probably not spectacular or amazing but great, and while it had it’s flaws and potholes at the time they were relatively small at first, but they just kept growing and more issues popped up and…christ if you like rwby and notice it’s flaws that’s fine, but I can’t say the same for people who outright ignore the flaws people critiquing the series bring up to get mad and preach about how only positive criticism can save the show. Look as a person who started off with positive criticism I’m not saying it has no place, but you also can’t say critics be it negative from your perspective is objectively bad or unneeded, sometimes a firm but fair hand is needed.

No Soku-

You’ve been pissy that people don’t cowtow to your opinion and look at it as objective fact even though your reasoning is subjective as fuck, even as your standards shatter when faced with people who act EXACTLY like you against shows you like and you throw fits. One look through your blog, or looking at what you did to SSSN, showcases that.

Ruby’s issues are like a small flame building up, you can close your eyes and ignore the problem but sooner or later if something’s not done your house is gonna be completely on fire, and you don’t know how that may affect your surroundings, for all you know ignoring the issue caused the trees behind your house to catch fire, maybe one toppled over and landed on a neighboring house and now it’s spreading. The bottom line is weather you can get past the issue to find the things you like isn’t the problem, it’s ignoring them in the first place, if you aren’t willing to help something grow and change for the better with non rose tinted criticism then you’re not offering any help at all, you’re hindering it because you yourself refuse to change and that can be just as harmful if not worse to coddle something.

Yeah, says the guy with the tag ‘Su crits are wild’

Rwby increasingly became more unhinged as a series, the flaws turned into overlapping problems, this went from a world that felt had love and care crafted into it to a plot and world with more holes than swiss cheese, which is why so many people felt disappointed and rightfully annoyed, could you sit there and tell me if I made a series and told you one thing yet showed you another only to tell you “yeah that’s not what I meant.” in post that you wouldn’t feel even the slightest bit of cheated, lied to or had your time wasted? If not do I have a camel to sell you among other things!

Hold on...

I increasingly became more unhinged as a person, the flaws turned into overlapping problems, this went from a person with maybe some good points but still understand to a person with more psychosis than a looney bin, which is why so many people felt disappointed and rightfully annoyed, could you sit there and tell me if you said one thing and then did another, saying “yeah that’s not what I meant.” in post that you wouldn’t feel even the slightest bit of cheated, lied to or had your time wasted? If not do I have a camel to sell you among other things!

Funny how everything that falls out of your mouth applies more to you than anything else.

As a person who sat through so many lovely crafted media; I sat through paper mario and it’s whimsical tale, I watched avatar and fell in love with it’s amazing characters, world building and music, same goes for things like steven universe, final fantasy 6 (a game ironically about togetherness) ff9, the persona series, hunter x hunter, soul eater, gravity falls, Disney flicks, the dragon age series every super giant game, all these and more were handled with so much love and care and hold their structure throughout.

I.  LOVE. MEDIA.

I bet those SU Crits would say the same thing, give a similar sob story of ‘I. LOVE. MEDIA.’ and say many of the same things while stabbing at SU rabidly like you do RWBY.

I spend most of my time absorbed in their stories worlds and characters to the point I studied it, twice to get two separate degrees in it because I wanted to write at a time. So when I critique rwby, call out it’s flaws and so on, it’s not a personal attack on you if you like it, but I also can’t be satisfied with where the series has gone, not because it’s not ‘my’ take but because I enjoy narrative flow, I find interest in the characters if the plot isn’t too good and vise versa, media can touch on so many amazing things and I felt at a time…that miles and kerry could do well if they tried, if they applied themselves, before becoming such mean spirited, greedy and unwilling people, and this was long before I came into the picture, long before rwde no matter how much you disagree or what to place blame.

I spend most of my time absorbed in their stories worlds and characters to the point I studied it, twice to get two separate degrees in it because I wanted to write at a time. So when I critique SU, call out it’s flaws and so on, it’s not a personal attack on you if you like it, but I also can’t be satisfied with where the series has gone, not because it’s not ‘my’ take but because I enjoy narrative flow, I find interest in the characters if the plot isn’t too good and vise versa, media can touch on so many amazing things and I felt at a time…that Rebbeca Sugar and the crewinverse could do well if they tried, if they applied themselves, before becoming such mean spirited, greedy and unwilling people, and this was long before I came into the picture, long before Su crit no matter how much you disagree or what to place blame.

I’ve heard this story more time than I can count, I don’t give a damn. You’re all the same.

Cause trust me I seen rwby stans (fans unwilling to hear criticism out and will display many hypocritical and messed up tendencies over a cartoon)  not only ignore issues, tell people to kill themselves over a typed critique of a series they like, be irrational, sexist, racist or just plain stupid at times, you realize soon that the rwby tag is a cesspool of horrible people mixed in with some fans willing to discuss the issues offer fixes and healthy non annoying chats on what they like and dislike.

You mean like when you called for me and mage to be destroyed?

Or how about you attacking and betraying your own friend?

Or how about you saying all humans in RWBY are bad people because of what their ancestors did?

Or how about when you said Weiss could demand Neptune be beaten to shit because ‘she’ a woman therefore we shouldn’t tell her how to act’?

Or about literally 99% of your posts?

Or how about that fact that you just described the RWDE tag?

Which confuses me as an individual cause I feel personally you can and should review rwby without threat of an anonymous person telling you to die over your opinion or one of the writers telling people to…enact physical violence on fans who don’t watch the supplemental material they hide, don’t promote to a casual audience and contradict and retcon on a constant basis. And sometimes it’s through a panel or a tweet, a casual rwby fan wouldn’t even catch unless they constantly follow the writers around or have someone dedicated enough to do so.

Which confuses me as an individual cause I feel personally you can and should write media without threat of an anonymous person telling you to die over your opinion or one of the 'critics’ telling people to…enact physical violence on fans who don’t watch the supplemental material they hide, don’t promote to a casual audience and contradict and retcon on a constant basis. And sometimes it’s through a panel or a tweet, a casual rwby fan wouldn’t even catch unless they constantly follow the writers around or have someone dedicated enough to do so.

Yeah, see Soku-

Not only have you NOT proven that Miles or Kerry have promoted violence but YOU have. So uh, when’s the post calling yourself out?

And all the stuff I mention and want isn’t impossible or asking too much honestly, I’d like the writers to be honest and fair to their fanbase, like anyone would, I’d like the to listen to actual critique and hire someone who can guide them so it doesn’t turn into one big “damage control” arc, The characters need more substance and need more screen time to grow as characters and fighters, when your fans excuse character growth with “Well animation is hard, not everything could be onscreen it could happen offscreen.” you have a problem, can you imagine ed just showing up with alphonse and it never being explained and I go “well animation is hard.” yeah that goes without saying but at the same time there are writers, creators and so on who get paid less, have smaller teams and sometimes just teams of two people to work hard on their craft, so never EVER ever excuse jump cuts and lack of characterization, structure and development when better writers are out there busting their asses.

Do not be that guy.

Why should they be fair and honest when you refuse to be?

Why should they listen to critique when you refuse to and demand other creators ignore critics and mock them?

Why should they when you will just ignore any substance?

Why should they when you will NEVER give a damn or even show BASIC HUMAN DECENCY?

Mind giving me a reason Soku, before you start screaming racism?

*sigh* I been sitting here thinking how how I could end this, how after several years of a fast decline in quality, what’s something I could possibly leave this on? What can I say past this point? I been actually sitting in stunned silence trying to mull it over. I guess all I can say is, if you like rwby fair, fine, despite the major holes I discuss fixes with the series, I draw characters, try fixing the crumbling road of rwby trying hard to understand it, make no mistakes that when I critique it it’s not coming from a place of contempt for the series, but of disappointment in how far it’s fallen and how it could have been good if miles and kerry took the hand offered, it wouldn’t lead them down the most comfortable road, but they’d gain experience from it and could fix the series possibly for the better, and if you again like rwby, do not allow rose tinted goggles to blind you from the issues of the series, the ever growing problems with the series and the unwillingness for the writers to change and grow, do not allow more writers to turn into david cage, M Night Shyamalan, or stephenie meyer.

You know-

Despite the fact that you just gotten into shit for attacking people for liking RWBY and have accused the writers of bullshit you can’t prove while effectively calling them the writing equivalents of Adolf Hitler.

Sure, and I’m not filled with burning rage.

If you want the best for the rwby series and the rwby brand then you cannot accept it’s mediocrity, you need to be vocal otherwise the writers won’t be incentivized to do better. And it doesn’t have to be straight up criticism, you can word it your way as long as it helps the writing grow, but at the point we’re at and how nice or not miles and kerry take current criticism rwby will continue to plummet and honestly that’s a disappointment.

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/182206020052/how-can-you-watch-this-show-and-not-have-the

How can you watch this show and not have the biggest smile on your face the entire time?

It’s so good!

It could end here and be the perfect ending!

This is an amazing show and you can definetly tell there’s so much love and care put into every bit of it.

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/181468603497/i-saw-someone-whining-about-how-there-was-no-need

There’s so little information on this at the moment, there’s theory crafting and there’s what SU crits do and making very opinionated arguments with little information and treating it as factual.

https://owoniverse.tumblr.com/post/182379982566/su-fans-since-gem-civilization-probably-doesnt

su fans: since gem civilization probably doesnt know what a fascist is the diamond authority obviously cant be called fascists despite them fitting the definition perfectly!!! therefore you cant criticize them and i can continue making my ship art of the fandoms favorite abusive parents uwu im so smart 🥰

http://sushigal007.tumblr.com/post/182383811096/and-now-its-time-for-the-finale-i-may-have-to

But no, we’re gonna redeem White too now, just like we redeemed Yellow and Blue and Uncle An/dy, with a long, tearful speech about feelings. And now we know we’re getting another season, we’ll probably also get an episode where Sour Cr/eam decides he wants to give Mar/ty another chance and Mar/ty cries and becomes a good dad instantly.

http://jjsupremacy.tumblr.com/post/182369753512/if-id-known-the-su-fandom-was-this-stupid-id

If I’d known the su fandom was this stupid I’d have made a straight up critical blog years ago because watching them try to “drag” me is legit the most fun I’ve had in weeks 😂😂😂 I’m just so fucking amused right now. You criticize a show and they have an aneurysm like monkeys during feeding time at the zoo

http://mellowfilmmaker.tumblr.com/post/182363307164/steven-universe-change-your-mind-review

Maybe that’s a bit too harsh, but I’ve had the habit of going too easy on this show (like in hindsight, Familiar should’ve gotten a lower rating from me). Also just based on the impact the episode had on me personally, I cannot rate it any higher. There’s definitely worse stuff out there, but as far as SU is concerned, this is almost as bad as it gets. 

And now, for the coup de grace-

https://lily-orchard.tumblr.com/post/182371331100/i-remember-once-i-was-talking-to-my-best-friend-on

Arguing this is “the only string to critics bow” is to try and pretend as if criticism becomes invalid if it’s repeated enough. But it’s the biggest string to critics’ bow precisely because it is the main, central, thematic problem with Steven Universe. When talking about Steven Universe, it is the biggest problem with the show and no other critical aspect is going to make it better until it’s solved.

No amount of fixing the animation is going to do shit until this gaping, festering, diseased wound is fixed.

https://lily-orchard.tumblr.com/post/182369752565/every-time-i-try-to-raise-awareness-of-how

But the kids deserve better. They don’t deserve this fucking garbage and they shouldn’t be forced to have this garbage just because a few fucking Tumblr Tots want to wrap themselves womb-like in their worship of a moronic, tone deaf shite-hawk like Rebecca Sugar.

Ah Soku-

If you want what’s best for Steven Universe, you need to stop accepting it’s mediocrity. After all, Rebecca Sugar won’t listen otherwise and the quality will plummet still.

After all, the Su crits say the same things as you so surely they’re correct...right?

To all fellow rwde and non rwde who have supported me thus far? Thank you, this has been a wild ride and while we possibly haven’t seen eye to eye I enjoyed and learn alot from watching you over the years, and now I think it’s finally time for the vet to retire and get the chair to new people, I received alot of kind messages from this and they touched my heart, take care rwby critics, it’s been real.

You know, except not an hour later you started your bitchfest again and two days later, stabbed your friend in the back and then tried to justify it.

But if this truly is your last train home, I can take peace knowing you ride home in shame, exposed for the hypocrite you are, forced to see your reflection and made into a complete and total joke.

Enjoy that ride Soku, no one will miss you once someone starts confirming their biases and you’re nothing more than a fart in the wind.

[lifeasitis21]

That’s Private

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Request: Henry x reader where they’re a couple and during an interview, questions get brought up of their sex life.

A/n: Thank you for the request anon! I hope this is close to what you were thinking. It was super fun to write!

Working on this movie with Henry had been like a dream come true, and there was never a moment when you wanted it to end.

Getting to work side by side with the love of your life every day seemed too good to be true, and it had its ups and downs but with Henry, it was mostly ups. You called it your ‘love child’ because the two of you spent countless hours brainstorming the entire project together. 

Henry was used to huge movie production sets and teams of thousands, but when you showed him part of the screenplay you wrote, he jumped on board right away. You worked well together, which was a bonus, of course. You had balance, it’s what he always called it. A balance of give and take, balance of creativity and realism, you just worked.

Along with acting beside him, you also got to direct with him. The two of you played a couple on screen, which came naturally for the most part. You thought the hardest part of it would be the amount of time you would spend together, but you were yet to tire of each other.

One thing you loved about him, was that he always took the time to reassure you without even being asked. On set, when you would worry about memorizing lines or coming off as genuine, he would walk you through every scene even into the early hours of the morning. And on days when that didn’t work, he would fuck you sleepy and hold you close to his chest until you drifted off to sleep.

Now that filming was over and the haze had begun to lift, you were faced with the reality of the press tour interviews.

Because it was a small movie, you only had a few interviews in place, regardless of the fact that reviews on the project had been everything you hoped for and more. One of the biggest you had coming up was The Tonight Show. It would be your first time doing something like this, Henry’s, not so much. He was amazing in front of a camera, obviously. But more than that, he had a presence about him that affected everyone in the room. 

You didn’t go on until 10:30 tonight but you’d been preparing all day. Henry’s agent arranged the schedule to where you wouldn’t have to be present at every interview, and today was Henry’s day for solo interviews. 

With only 3 hours until you had to leave for Fallon’s, he was due back any minute now though.

You had your outfit laid out on the bed of your hotel room. And like a good partner, you set out Henry’s suit as well. You stood in the bathroom with your robe wrapped around you. With a swipe of your hand, you cleared the fog from the mirror and started working on your makeup. You turned on your playlist as you did, mouthing along to the words of one of Henry’s favorite songs. 

You fondly remembered how he insisted on contributing to your morning playlist with some of his favorites that he made sure to refer to as ‘purely classic.’

Close to exhausted, Henry trudged through the door of your room and tossed his jacket on the couch in the lounge room. 

He began to call out to you, but then heard the muffled sounds of music coming from the bedroom.

A soft smile formed on his lips as he pictured you rolling your hips, singing along to your music. The longer he thought about it, something else also began to form.

He quietly walked into the bedroom, where he found the bathroom door cracked open, with steam still seeping out from your shower. Perfect timing.

To get a head start, he loosened his tie and threw it onto the bed. After kicking out of his shoes, he began unbuttoning his shirt, only leaving the last three for you to undo later. 

As he pushed open the door, he watched your eyes as they found his in the mirror. You smiled, and almost looked away, before noticing his bare chest under his shirt.

You kept your eyes on him as he walked up behind you. Slowly, he wrapped his hands around your waist, the tension pulling your towel down just above your chest.

“I missed you.” He whispered, lowering his lips down to the nape of your neck. He breathed out as he ran his tongue over your warm skin; the contact sending a tingle to your center.

He tug his hands down into your hips and pulled you back against himself. You could feel his length just below your ass and you loved how hard he was already. Just like he craved, you pushed and grinded back against him, causing him to tug a little more on the towel near your hips. As it fell to the floor, he took in the sight of your naked body. 

“We can’t be late Henry.” 

With one hand he gently pushed your chest down towards the counter and with the other he moved down towards your wetness and with agonizing patience, pushed two fingers inside of you.

“We wont be.”

Hand in hand, the two of you sat on stage, waiting for the countdown to the show to begin. Henry absentmindedly placed a kiss to the back of your hand, then smiled up at you when he noticed you watching him.

Off screen, the camera man began counting down so the two of you got situated. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the tonight show! We have some amazing guests with us tonight. Give a round of applause for Henry Cavill and Y/n Halloway!”

You smiled bright as the room erupted in applause. Beside you Henry gave a wave to the crowd, but then turned his attention to the host.

“We’re so happy to have you two.”

“Well we’re happy to be here. This is amazing!” You said, an over exaggerated amount of peppiness in your voice.

“It’s good to be back, thank you for having us.” Henry ran his hand over his thigh once, before placing his hands back where they were, something you noticed he did in almost every interview he gave.

By now, you had lost count and so had he. He was truly a pro at this part of the job. Every question asked, he answered with prose and excitement, always eliciting further conversation.

The questions ranged from filming process, to future projects, to anything in between. 

You had been doing much better than you thought you would. The whole thing was actually more fun than you expected, and 30 minutes in you’d fell into a flow with Henry. Completely in sync.

“The two of you play some, badass assassin lovebirds on screen. And we know--at least we hope you’re just a couple off-screen. Did this whole process bring anything out, into the--into the open?”

Henry smiled at the question after looking over and seeing the smile on your own face. 

“Do you mean negative things, or?” He asked.

“No! Nothing bad, I guess, did you learn anything about one another?”

“Henry is a very...energetic man.” Before you even had a moment to process your own words, the audience began to woop and applaud at the misunderstanding of what you really meant. As the host’s eyes went wide with laughter, you glanced over at Henry and barely held it together as he shot you that knowing smirk.

“Oh my god-- that is not-- what I meant by energetic is he is constantly on the go. Like, if it’s between sleep and work, he chooses work every time.” You barely made it through without another fit of laughter, but once you did, and the crowd settled, the host pulled you out of the hole you’d dug yourself.

“Right right. So nothing was ever quiet done. There was always something that Henry needed to be doing.”

“Exactly.” You responded with a smile. Now both you and the host looked to Henry, as if waiting for him to ask the question posed earlier. 

“What did I learn?” He asked himself, bringing his finger to his chin and narrowing his eyes at you. It brought a smile to your face, the way his eyes sparked when he looked at you.

“Y/n is, amazing at quiet literally everything she does.” That one made the crowd aww and brought a little heat to your cheeks as he kept his eyes on you. “She’s better than anyone I’ve ever known in every single way.”

Suddenly, the host burst out in laughter. “Woah now, Henry. That could mean a lot of things. What is it that she’s so much better at than everyone else? Do you mean what I think you mean?”

Everyone was completely engaged now if they hadn’t been before. But Henry was quick on his feet. He looked to for a moment, for approval, which you gave with a smile. 

“Yes? Yes. That’s exactly what I mean.” 

The host wasn’t sure how far he could push this, but you both seemed comfortable so he kept talking.

“I think it’s great you feel that way! No--really! It’s an important part of any relationship and as if you guys couldn’t of gotten anymore perfect, we now know you have an outstanding sex life.”

Henry laughed his heart warmingly big laugh and glanced over to you as he continued. “Well yeah, she really is amazing. It’s like--euphoric. Every time--like--” he was one beat away from continuing when he realized what he was about to say probably shouldn’t be said on television. “I’ll just--It’s important. It really is.”

He began looking back and forth between the two of you now, a mischievous look in his eye. “This is all sounding very--present tense..”

At that, Henry gave the floor to you, not wanting to go further than he already had and than you were comfortable with. But when he looked to you, whether you really meant to or not, you answered. “It is. It really is.”

Henry was exuberant beside you. Laughing and making eyes at you, all the while never coming off as fake or insincere. You’d never felt as safe and at home with someone as you did with him, which made this all feel okay. More than okay. It made it right.

That marked all the time you had left for the interview, and you genuinely believed that no one in that room wanted it to end. You said your goodbyes to the audience and let Henry lead you backstage by the hand. 

As soon as you were out of the public eye, he pulled you in close and brought your lips to his mouth. He held you there for a long time, and you let him, savoring the smell of his cologne, the feel of his hand holding your face.

“You’re my world.” He said, after releasing you. “My entire world.”

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