#coherency is not my specialty!!

[randomositycat]

Artist/animator brain telling me to pick apart each episode for subtle differences in comparison to the show as a whole

What seems like it could be on model and what feels like it was pushing boundaries to developing a semi-new style for the anime

Rant under cut bc hi I do this a lot in my head,, and I could go through each episode and pick them apart but I've got e 17 on the brain so we'll stick with that for now and maybe I'll check out the older ones later

I only bring it up now bc,, well I didn't want to before

In e 17 (since it's the one freshest in my brain) the art differences I notice are purely in the chibi style, and minorly in the closer shots of characters

This shot specifically feels like it belongs to a different show! But still suuper super cute all the same!

And we go back to something more fitting with the other similar style shots from previous episodes! Not to say that it's all and all the same style every time, but again the differences are subtle and you have to look very closely to even say "huh, that's a bit different!"

I also noticed that usually they don't skip out of drawing fingernails? which sure most animes dont but it feels different here? If that makes sense,,

They really upped their detail game compared to other episodes! all the little things that pain me to even think about doing as an animator! The work put into some of these shots is super impressive! They even shaded the fake mole?? Come on!! The idea of doing what they've down with these shots makes me tired,, kudos to the artists for having the nerve

The fingernails stand out the most to me bc there is so much detail in them!

From the cuticle to the beautiful lighting and shading when she was applying make up to his face (I don't have a gift sorryyy 😣)

And we already know the eyes are beautiful, but my favorite attention to detail is Jinshi's eyes. Maomao never fails to comment on his beauty, and artistically it shows as much, emphasizing it to no end really, but he's so subtly feminine that I find myself studying his eyes quite a bit! His long eyelashes really draw you in...

You can see they dulled it down a little, for his Jinka disguise, but even then he's got such gentle eyes that could easily be mistaken for a woman's if he were to hide his face :) (looking at you Hunting arc, missed a chance! I'll tell you!)

Maomao's expressions in this episode really take the cake too LOL

There's no shortage of good maomao faces, especially not here >:)

As each new episode releases I'm just soooo enamored with how steady the improvement is! Artists finding their rhythm with the characters and sprinkling little things here and there that can go unnoticed but definitely enhance a shot! It's amazing!

And it brings me to talk about e4 which yes I agree is gorgeous animated, but im someone who prefers consistency rather than quality in my animated shows

(quality is good yes but to go from very fluid to standard fluid is jarring to say in the least)

I adore the fluidity in e4, obsessed with it. I was under the impression that an entirely different director + team was in charge (I wasn't wrong abt the director)

My favorite bits have to be the expressions,

And how each movement feels less like a show and more like a movie, like we got a spontaneous budget increase for this episode alone!

Lip syncing too, REALLY on point! I love angry Maomao and I'm a sucker for lip syncing any time!! When she was scolding Lihua's lady in waiting, the animators really hit every keyframe on the nose! (generally makes e4 dub a bit of a hassle for me to watch) I rewatch the sequence again and again because of how well done it is :) a spectacular moment indeed

Another episode with really fluid moments is episode 10, I think 🤔 when she confronts Lady Lishu about Fengming. The entire scene is wonderfully done, with Lishu's expressions and her ladies-in-waiting being excited to talk to Jinshi :) all things I gladly pay attention to

All in all the show has a gorgeous art direction 😊 I hope they continue to enhance it little by little with subtle things like everything i mentioned above

Makes an artist's heart flutter thinking about the dedication and care put into its production

[spongeknife]

It might just be me (and I might get flames for this) but I think the SysTumblr Experience is really dumb (and counterproductive).

I started, many years and blogs ago, in this community to find support- to find people who could understand my experiences. I liked getting advice, I liked seeing the creativity people had during hard times, it was especially nice to see that people similar to me could recover and it helped me try again and again when I really thought I would be stuck in a nightmarish trauma hole.

I can barely stand interacting on Tumblr now. Nearly everything system related is washed up by the endo/plurality argument.

Tags I used to use to connect have become some sort of hidden message to show "which side" I'm on. I can't simply exist in any of the spaces I once could without fear of extreme backlash on "picking the wrong side."

And, terribly so, the loudest of each group- the most harmful ones- block out any sort of "good" I may have found before. I do not think everyone in syscourse is the problem, and there are a few small areas I've been able to find peaceful discussion (although, I do not want to find the only peace in debates - there is still a lack of space to just exist).

I also think, most importantly, Syscourse is too easily accessible. Many many times, I've seen literal children in this very tumultuous environment. I can't help but imagine when I was in middle school and grade school, and the shit I was going through at that time. What about now? Literal kids are being sent threats, either to each other or by adults. It's fucking disgusting, and I worried about the risk of reblogging a post and inadvertently directing aggressive syscoursers to a young account.

While it might not "technically" be my job to worry about children on the Internet, I in no way want to cause extra harm or damage to these kids who are just being kids (many of them seem like they're just young and trying to process what they may have been through, and/or are trying to identify who they are. I don't think that's something worthy of all the vitriol they get).

I'm rambling a bit, but my main point is that Syscourse is so unavoidable that all these "safe spaces" aren't really safe.

Are these fears irrational? Are they misplaced?

I'm at the point where I could care less what you label yourself as (I know, a seemingly controversial opinion), as long as you're not trying to hurt others or force your opinion on others (when it's unwarranted).

Being on Tumblr has become exhausting, 2015 Sponge would be in shock that I'm saying it (also I don't really post syscourse anymore, I just want to yell this into the void - I hope I'm not the only one alone in this feeling)

[witherfide]

polish rock is healing something inside of me I didn’t know needed healing

[pizzaheadtv]

pizza tower psychonauts au...

[ay0nha]

Lament of My Heart | Joel Miller

SUMMARY: “Tommy…”  Joel let out a breath of frustrated laughter. He disappointingly shook his head, leaning over you, “That boy doesn’t know what he’s lost.”

Set pre-episode four & post-episode five w/ moments of pre-outbreak

PAIRING: Joel Miller x femme!reader

WORD COUNT: 5.1K

WARNINGS: SMUT (hand job), mentions of blood, mutual pining/slow burnish, skinny dipping (of sorts), canon-typical things, mentions of Tommy x reader, etc.

A/N: Need to post this before it sits in the drafts to collect dust. Joel is just on my mind all the time, so this is the product of that. Thank you as always @from-the-clouds​ for listening to my blabbering and entertaining all my ideas! Much love.

“No more questions, Ellie,” You reprimanded her lightly, trying to cover the warmth she was discovering you felt. “Get some rest.”

Ellie was a hard-headed person with the responsibility of society on her shoulders. She carried the weight well, but she was still human, still young. But her questions revealed her growing creativity and sharp wit.

“Not tired.” She hated Joel’s coffee, but the stolen sips still coursed through her veins. You knew it was partly due to the anxiety ahead of them. They all felt it, that tense air of the unknown. “You two don’t seem to get along, though.”

Your eyes flashed to the rear view mirror on instinct. Settled on the truck’s dirty cushions and the supplies being used as a pillow, Joel was asleep. But you weren’t sure how long it would last.

“Ellie-

“It wasn’t a question!” She defended quickly, toying with the edge of her sleeve. She’d been dying to know just exactly why you got under Joel’s skin the way you did. “Tell me about Tommy, at least.”

“Ask Joel.” Your eyes were everywhere. You checked the mirror as if there was traffic, but it was the only thing that kept you occupied. She was making you squirm.

“C’mon, you know he won’t-” Ellie’s own frustrations were building up. In her shoes, you’d be just as curious. “Please.”

Through a thoughtful sigh, you resigned, “Before-We just- We’ve known each other for a long time.” You’d been intertwined with the Miller brothers since before everything. You rarely said it aloud, and now, you struggled to put all the history into something coherent. “I met Tommy when he returned from deployment-

“In Texas?” Ellie hung onto every word, mind spinning tales faster than you could keep up with. “Were you in the military too?”

“I said no questions.”

The comment made her smile. Ellie always appreciated a good game. Loopholes were her specialty.

“Fine, then.” She settled in the passenger seat, knees to her chest as she faced you, “You were discharged with Tommy with more medals than you could count!” Her posture then changed with inventive excitement, “Or maybe a bad-ass sniper with too many confirmed kills to count.” You wished your life was as exciting as she made it sound. “You’re going to have to stop me before I start thinking you led an elite hit squad.”

“Close.” You quipped, “I worked on the military base in town.” It was the first job that hired you and offered some stability for someone your age. “I’d help get soldiers back on their feet once they returned…”

“Then you became friends with Tommy,” Ellie encouraged you to continue. She couldn’t stand the lulls.

Too many years passed for you to remember clearly how you became close to Tommy, but at the time, he considered you his soulmate. Not that either of you really knew what that meant.

“Then I became friends with Tommy.” You nodded. You kept your eyes steady ahead, adding, “Joel, too.” Glancing at Ellie, you finished,  “Then we all just…stuck together.”

Separation wasn’t ever questioned, even on the eve of all the destruction. That memory was vivid; the way your bloodied body held onto Joel, dragging him away from it all, Tommy trailing behind, surveilling every move. It was how you moved together for years, protecting each other as much as possible.  

“He doesn’t talk about it; before,” Ellie commented lowly. You knew she wished for more from Joel. But she couldn’t see what you saw in the way he softened for her.

“That hasn’t changed with time.” Your words felt too bitter. This time you indulged in a glance at Joel. Still settled. “I’m surprised he’s even talking to me now.”

You always described the Miller brothers as a whirlwind. They may not have necessarily meant it, but they had a knack for sweeping you up and consuming you. When Joel came to you with Ellie, there was no question of whether you would help or not, just when and where you were needed.

He’d never leave without you.

“Tell me something about them...” Ellie pleaded. She was a clever girl who picked up on the weight of his misery. But it wasn’t yours to share. “Before they…before this.”

Your shoulders relaxed while your hands moved to the bottom of the steering wheel as you allowed yourself to filter through only the fond memories.

“Alright, well…” You hesitated with your words. Only because you knew, Joel would tell the story differently. “He and Tommy were wasted…I mean…Absolutely hammered that night.”

Your words had their desired effect, and Ellie’s giggles encouraged you to continue. But it felt strange to make Joel’s drinking habits sound so lighthearted when you know how the habit haunted him now.

“Tommy called me.” The phone in Joel’s kitchen woke you up that night well past the witching hour. “The brothers always got into all kinds of mischief, usually Tommy's fault.” You were typically by his side, provoking him. “Always Tommy’s fault.”

“He sounds fun.” Ellie joined in. You knew in another world, the two would get up to all kinds of mischief if they had the chance.

“He can be, when he wants.” You glanced at the map on your lap. With the sun getting low, it meant you needed to find a safe place to stop soon. “That night, though, the two of them had the bright idea to pretend to be bouncers, only to get into a fight with the actual ones.”

“I knew Joel wasn’t a total hard-ass.”

As you continued to retell the story, you hadn’t realized how much nostalgia you carried with you. Nor were you able to see how you talked so warmly of Joel. Ellie knew exactly what to say to get the information she wanted. But you waited a long time to reminisce freely.

“...When I finally got them home,” You blew a raspberry at the unforgettable effort it took. The stench of alcohol and smoke still made your nose scrunch. “Thank god Tommy had enough sense left to make it to the couch.”

Ellie loved how you teased Joel’s hiccuping that he blamed it on being over-served tequila. It was hard even to imagine he had any of that humor left in him. You embellished the story just enough to entertain yourself. But the story's core provided fertile ground for understanding that nothing you added was too far-fetched.

“They remembered nothing the next morning,” You said. “Tommy found all these numbers written on his arm, said he’d close his eyes and pick which to call.”

“....And Joel, he must have been so hungover…”

“You’d think…” You reflected flatly.  “He just got up and went to work.”

From your side, you knew Ellie could sense you holding back.  She’d gotten more than she asked for, so she left it. She could see how the echo of that night still felt fresh, doubting you provided her with the detailed ending you lived.

----

“You alright?” The question was slowly processed by Joel, who was trying to steady his breathing before the contents of his stomach came up.

“Yeah, yeah…” Joel held onto you every step, arm slung over your shoulders, making you sway with him with each step to his room.

He was mumbling while you settled him on the edge of his bed. You got every few words while focusing on preparing him for the next day. The brothers had work, and doing this would save you the headache of hearing their complaints.

“B-been thinkin’...” His Texan drawl was heightened as he slurred.

“That so?” You half-heartedly replied, rummaging through his medicine cabinet. You looked for something for the morning.

“Mhmm…”

You could hear him shuffling around in his room. Assuming he’d been pulling his boots off and discarding his jacket, you were surprised to find him leaning on the bathroom’s door frame.

“Then you’ve been hanging around Tommy too much.”

“Tommy…” Joel let out a breath of frustrated laughter. He disappointingly shook his head, leaning over you, “That boy doesn’t know what he’s lost.”

You still held love for Tommy, but you had mistaken it for something that it wasn’t. The two of you functioned better as friends; you were his confidant and partner in crime. Neither of you would change that for the world.

“And you do?”

Your relationship with Joel had a natural ebb and flow that could be but never got to the point of being volatile. But that didn't stop you from stepping on each other's toes, constantly being on the brink of an argument that neither of you knew the point of.

“Darlin’...” You melted his resolve, helping him the way you were. Joel’s eyes flickered down. Nothing about your outfit was seductive, but the way his eyes loitered told you maybe it had been. Covering his tracks seamlessly, Joel continued, “...The things you deserve.”

Your laugh bounced off the bathroom walls, resonating deep within Joel’s chest.

"What?" Joel asked lightly, his smile starting to mirror yours, but not understanding why, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

“Shit, Joel,” Your laughter lingered, “You must be really drunk.”

“C’mon now.” He tried to stop you. He wasn’t sure he could handle any level of ridicule from you.  

But you pushed passed him, drawing his sheets back for the night to be over, “Let’s just get you to bed.”

He stumbled to you willingly, but you could see his mind turning. There was something he wanted off his chest, but you knew you weren’t ready to hear it.

“Come on now, Miller,” You tried again. “We’ve both got work in the morning.”

“What is it you do again?” Joel’s words played with chords of tension. “Besides eat all my food and sleep on my couch.”

"Get by." You joked more for your sake than his.

Joel’s eyes shifted between your own, pupils entirely dilated.  Blaming it on the alcohol helped settle your stomach.

“I know y-you don’t stick around for my benefit.”

"God forbid we enjoy each other's company, Joel." Your eyes burned into his. You enjoyed your ability to make him bashful in his stupor. Just a look, and he was crumbling.

You saw it coming. You could have stopped it, but it wasn’t even the length of a decent kiss. It was soft and fleeting because you pulled back to never speak of it again. You doubted Joel remembered, but you could never be sure what he’d admit to.

----

“Did you ever-

“Ellie…” You said her name slowly in warning.

She retracted fast, “Joel and you-

“No.”

Your answer came off harshly. You knew where she wanted to go; she’d circled the topic for hours.

“Can I ask one question?”

“That was a question.” You looked at her again pointedly, “Shoot.”

“Why’d you stay in Boston?”

Sitting with the statement, you focused on the road. Most around you was barren and destroyed but offered an unconventional peacefulness. Sometimes you imagined if you’d be better off in isolation than in a QZ. But you could never bring yourself to just disappear like that.

“As hard as you might try,” You started, pulling the car to the side, “You can’t be alone in this world. With a purpose or not, it just doesn’t work.”

The sudden sway of the car disturbed the sleeping figure in the back. Joel attempted to hide his jolt as he sat up but was already looking out the window for trouble.

“We stoppin’?” Joel’s voice filled the car while the engine cooled.

Joel looked to you for reassurance. Ellie pointed that out to you, the way he valued you despite his resentment.

“We’ve gotten far enough today.” You tossed the keys back to him. “We need food and rest.”

“Alright.”

Your exchanges were clipped.

Yet, you valued the journey with Ellie. Selfishly, the task provided a reason to see Joel again. It had become easier to spend time apart. It became a habit. But even with a quiet meal shared and conversations led by Ellie, it felt good to be with him again.

The pressure shifted. No longer were ration cards on your mind, nor were the curfews you struggled to follow. Something about the night felt freeing despite the heavy responsibility that it meant. Maybe it was the privilege of feeling safe with Joel since he created a protective bubble, sacrificing his rest for yours.

You heard Joel get up when he thought yours and Ellie’s breathing steadied. You were going to leave it, but sleep was hard to come by with your mind racing.

Joel saw your shadow first. But the hand that brushed between his shoulder blades still made him flinch. He spoke in hushed tones, looking to ensure that Ellie was still asleep, “I hope you didn’t come over here to tell me we’re safe.”

“Didn’t say that.”  You frowned. He knew you well; you wore your concerns on your face. You just wished he didn’t hold such defiance for them.  “But we’ll be alright for the night-

“Don’t.”

Joel wanted to be in control of everything down to the smallest detail.

You knew it was a way of coping, his way, but it never sat right with you. Especially now, as you watched Joel scrutinize the area you chose, you could feel the criticism he was holding back from the moment you parked the car.

Did you even survey the terrain?

Too much open space. No clear route out.

You know better than this.  

“We’re the perfect targets.”

“Joel-

“We know how this works,” He voiced over you. Even with you there, his surveillance didn’t change as he remained on a swivel.  “It was exactly what we did.”

Joel’s emotions were catching up, but he still held onto a forced restraint. He was expecting resistance, an argument from you. But you heard what he said, how Ellie needed to hear it, to believe him.

No one’s gonna find us.

It was a promise. Something Joel was determined to control.

The wind was picking up the later the night became, and any rustle was faced with a gun barrel.  It caused chills to litter your arms out of apprehension. You tried to comfort yourself with your arms tucked to your chest, but it only shifted Joel’s attention.

If you tried hard enough, you could guess what he would say to you. We need to stay sharp. You could feel Joel’s hesitation, though. It happened every time he pushed you away.

There was merit to your diversion, but Joel only allowed it for so long.

“Get some rest.” He nodded toward his forgotten sleeping bag, “No good if both of us are tired.”

----

The car was gone. The brief companions too. Your heart felt permanently caught in your throat. Adrenaline replaced everything. But it was wearing you thin.

“Where are you going?” Respite clung to Joel’s question as his eyes followed your figure up from his crouched position.

Like a cat, you stretched until something deep within your spine popped. You moved towards the shore of the small body of water you all settled by.

Time was at the forefront of Joel’s mind. Time was no longer on your side, meaning the sooner, the better pressured every minute. Daylight became the most valuable thing. And by the looks of it, you were on your way to wasting it.

“We smell, Joel.” You state as you discard the knife strapped around your waist. You were meant to be cleaning them in the water, preparing them for the next fight the way he had.

But your body was sore. You could imagine the pain Joel felt was much worse, physical or not. He put his body first rather than having you or Ellie be the brunt of it all.

Mornings were sacred to you. It was when the birds sang at dawn because the crisp, moist air carried their songs and their meanings farther through the same air that filled your lungs in fluid refreshment.

 You pulled your shirt over your head and looped your thumbs in the waistband of your pants as you wiggled them over your thighs and down your legs.

For the moment, Joel’s eyes lingered. He looked for bites. He knew he wouldn’t find anything, but he had to be sure. Instead, Joel found deep hues of bruises still healing from Kansas City.

Almost wholly above the horizon, the sun highlighted the mist rising off the body of water. It veiled your body the closer you were to where the water and the rocks met. Yet, Joel watched on until your arms maneuvered behind your back, searching for the clasp of your bra.

As if the sun was directly in his eyes, Joel looked up, avoiding seeing something that wasn’t meant for him. Except, it didn’t stop him from passing along a warning, “Don’t go out far.”

The dirt from the past days felt like a second layer of skin had embedded into your own, suffocating you. You finally waded into the freezing water to rid yourself of it.

But not before throwing a comment over your shoulder, “Join me, then.”

Your words were like an idle threat that was only met with silence. You knew he was contemplating the offer. Always thinking.

The water was cold, goosebumps littering your skin within minutes and creating peaks where Joel refused to look. He scolded himself for the way his cock twitched at just the idea.

You leaned back so you were nearly floating on your back. Above, a bird glided hypnotically in a wide circle.  It seemed you weren’t the only one seeking to rid yourself of a sense of weariness. The cool water swallowed you whole, caressing your skin and relaxing your muscles.

“Someone’s gotta stay with Ellie.” Joel voiced his decision. It was an excuse, what he was supposed to say.

There was no point in fighting it. Instead, you submerged yourself completely; the water consumed you. The longer you stayed under, the closer Joel edged to the water, ensuring you’d come up for a breath.

When you finally reemerged, you held a wicked grin.

“Don’t do that.” Joel frowned at your teasing. His eyes remained downcast, avoiding your eye. The rocks seemed more fascinating than how you became more siren-like by the minute.  “I’m gonna find Ellie.”

“She deserves some privacy.” Despite her continuous puns, you were receptive to the fact that she was still impacted.

You all were.

Hyper vigilance became the enemy that threatened to consume Joel whole. Sleep was no longer negotiable. Every movement dragged worry, invited agitation, and controlled his violence. Joel’s chest was tight, and breathing felt hard to come by. He was moments away from unraveling.

“...There won’t be another invitation, Joel.”

Joel’s loaded gaze burned right through you as he took off his clothes. While he was busy shrugging out of his shirt, you took the opportunity to tread out further. Your back was to him, but you heard the swishing of disturbed water.

You reveled in the way your skin burned for him. He’d seen you naked years ago. But not like this, never like this.

----

Joel’s eyes followed the curve of your body. Your chest swayed as you moved around freely. His pounding heart clocked how too much time had passed for him to sneak out. He was frozen.

“You’re not Tommy.” You let out a breath of relief despite your surprise.

The lace rode high on your hips, accentuating your natural curve. Your chest was perked at the sudden attention of being caught so bare.   Regardless of the incessant ringing in your ears, you stayed stone still, giving him a chance to say something.

Yet, he shook his head, backing out the door he’d come through, mumbling expected apologies.  Joel used the key under the fern and let himself in.

For days he’d been asking Tommy for his tools back. And now, they were forgotten with each hurried step.

You threw on the closest shirt, chasing after him. “Wait!”

“I didn’t mean to-

“Joel, let me explain-

“No, I shouldn’t have-I-I’ll just-”

You found a way to stand before him, blocking his escape route perfectly. “Let’s just slow down…” Your hands were up in defense, mirroring his own. “It’s not what you think.”

Of all people, you wanted Joel to hear you. But the silence was heavy and lacked a proper explanation. You could see the flush that took over his coloring. It was sweet in a way, but you were too mortified to know what to make of it. It wasn’t exactly taught how to handle these sorts of things in school, so you stalled.

“Can I make you some coffee?” An invitation to linger.

Joel looked at you and saw your bare feet moving toward him with hope. He hadn’t meant to, but his eyes scanned your bare legs; the picture of the intricate fabric underneath the oversized shirt made his skin prick. It took him a moment to realize the shirt was his, one Tommy most likely nicked under his nose.

Doubting you knew what that did to him, Joel shook his head, “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“One cup.” You promised.

The air was tense when you made it to the kitchen. You insisted on a fresh pot, but the drops felt like they took ages to fill it enough for its purpose. The hem of the shirt skirted the boundary of indecency, but you thought nothing of it. Your focus was on the longing stare Joel was giving you.

“Tommy and I…” You started with a shaky breath. You were sure Joel knew all about the drifting relationship. “I thought maybe this would…” It felt strange explaining yourself the way you had. But you wanted it to be known that even to you, it felt out of character. “He doesn’t look at me the same anymore…”

Your words feigned a sense of yearning. But neither you nor Tommy could keep up the act. Your words seemed heavy, but it was so alleviating to say aloud. To be listened to.

But the smell of coffee pulled you back, reminding you to be a good host. Filling the mugs just below the brim, you broke the small barrier of the kitchen island. You held the mug close to your chest, the warmth working as emotional support while Joel toyed with the ceramic handle.

You lifted the mug to your lips, blowing lightly over the piping-hot coffee, “...But neither do I.”

“I can talk to Tommy if you…” No matter how much it made Joel regret the offer, Joel said the right thing. He couldn’t meddle where he didn’t belong. “I’m sure he’d understand.”

You laughed into your mug. “I’d rather this stay our thing.”

“You say that like this is going to happen again.”

“Joel Miller.” You said his name after a pause. He looked like a child in trouble. “Are you flirting with me?”

“No, no, I-

“Joking.” You cut in just as awkwardly as he flushed.

You wanted the mood to lighten, needed it to.

But there was clumsiness in every movement, between your ongoing jitteriness and Joel’s restless fidgeting.  So, you moved to the window. On the sill held your half-empty carton of cigarettes, the ones you were trying hard not to touch these days.

With a soft glance back to Joel, you asked, “Mind if I?”

Joel could spot the influences of Tommy in you. Or maybe you had passed along your habits. Either way, it was your home of sorts. Who was he to tell you no?

You had such dexterity with the process. It was like a ritual how you rolled the cigarette over your lips before lighting it. Then after a deep exhale, you utilized the perpetually open window to tap the beginnings of ash.  

“I don’t mean to drag you into all of this…”  You trailed off through an exhale of smoke through your nose. Joel could see the appeal now. “I just don’t-…Tommy’s my friend, and if I…I don’t know what’ll happen if we’re not…”

The end of something always hurt everyone around you. You all were just playing your roles in delaying the inescapable. But the questions of the future haunted you. You weren’t sure if you were ready to let it all go.

“I’ll let you leave…” You toyed with the lit cigarette that was on its last limb as you spoke. Joel’s silence was becoming deafening. “Promise I won’t hold you up any longer.”

You were sure he had more pressing matters than to comfort you through an inevitable breakup.

“Tommy’ll get over it.” Joel sat back with more relaxation now that he spoke his mind. “It’s you I’m worried about.”

----

Joel kept his distance deliberately. He made the venture into the water seem like another task. In and out.

“I don’t bite, you know.”

He knew you wouldn’t be able to stay quiet for too long. He knew what it meant to join you, but he made an effort to seem detached.

“Just giving you some privacy.” Joel echoed your words.

“Right.”  Your frustration was clear. You carried it with you for the handful of days that passed. Your frustrations didn’t lie with him like Joel chose to believe.

Instead, guilt filled Joel’s chest. It had been gnawing at him since he left Boston. He should have left you there if he were as reliable as everyone claimed he was. You’d be without bruises. You’d be without his burden. Leaving without you meant there would be no return.

But you knew Joel. You had to remind yourself.  You knew what he was thinking, what he wanted. That’s how you knew moving towards him would benefit the both of you.

You moved gradually, leading the interaction by brushing his hair behind his ears. The greys of his hair darkened with the water you carried on your fingertips.  He looked younger. He looked like your Joel.

You reached for him, pulling him through the cool water to you. Joel was stiff when your chest met his warmly. He thought of pulling away, but you felt so peaceful that it swallowed him. Your arms wrapped around him with comfort. Your body settled in front of his, gently pressing your hips against him, giving him only an ounce of pressure to entice him.

He noted every twitch. Shyness wasn’t questioned; that barrier was broken years ago. It enabled you to trace his face. Every detail was already committed to memory.

You imagined what he’d say to you all those years ago—anything to make a smile crack.

Careful, now.

All you’re gonna find is a whole lot of ugly.

The scar above his eyebrow marked when your feelings for Joel first latched on. You were blinded by anger then, but the blood scared you. He promised you it was a graze and that he still had his life. But that wasn’t enough proof for you.

When your thumb traced over the faint line, Joel finally found his voice again, “Your shooting’s still sloppy.”

The look Joel held was intimidating, scrutinizing, but you knew he was trying to be witty.  

“See now, when you say things like that…” You whispered softly due to the proximity, “I don’t regret shooting you.”

He hummed, appreciating your touch that ventured to his shoulders. You could feel under your hands the tension he held. You wanted nothing more than to provide relief.

“Joel.”

Just his name made your desire clear. He wanted to touch you all those years ago, but he’d never betray his brother like that. But now you invited him to you without any barriers. There was hesitancy in the hold Joel found on your hips. His mind wandered; wavered between the need and the want.

Starting at the swirl of hair on his chest, you followed the trail down until Joel’s breath hitched. Joel felt like he was about to lose it when your hand wrapped around him.

“This feel okay?” You moved your hand against him, slow and soft.

Water dripped from his nose to your shoulder as he nodded eagerly.  His groan rumbled deep in his chest, vibrating against your own. You tread in dangerous territory but recognized the privilege of his trust.

This was for Joel. You needed this just as much as he did. You didn’t worry if it functioned as a thank you for keeping you alive, an apology for the trouble you’d caused him, or a confession of your own.

It didn’t matter when you indulged in your own lust.

“Do you think of me when you’re on your own?” You asked, fingers wrapped around his shaft, squeezing him until you felt his pulse in your grip.

“Oh- Fuck-” He cut himself off before he let a pet name slip. Joel’s fingers dug into the soft flesh of your hips, imprinting his touch into your skin, burned to your very bone.

“Hmm?” You edged him further. Gently, you continued to pump him and move your thumb over his tip.

Joel’s ragged breath fell on your pulse point with each moan as you continued to pump him rhythmically. His hand came up to your throat in a tender hold. His lips hover over yours but refrained from connecting.

It would be too intimate if you had.

“Do you want me to?” The hold gave him dominance even as he shuddered under your touch. Always desiring control.

The water around you rippled with your continued movements. With his free hand, his thumb rubbed gently at the sensitive skin that was near the pebbles of your breast, but he made no effort to touch it just yet.  His words and touch were a deadly combination, the kind that made you ache.

“Would that be so bad?” You spoke on his lips, feeling the tickle of his mustache. The more you worked on his release the more you felt his warm pants turn into deep moans. “Come on now, Miller,” You coaxed softly, moving up and down his length with a lively pattern, teasingly and tauntingly. “Tell me.”

Joel’s words were caught in his throat as ecstasy flowed through his veins as the pleasure crashed. His hips jerked against you as his breathing became ragged and his moans became filthy.

He sighed with relief, abandoning himself. He groaned into you, nuzzling his nose in your neck as the aftershocks made him tremble. He could feel your hand threading in his hair, keeping him in your tight embrace.

“Yes.”

[drefear]

Sister's Mister

Summary: You and your sister are having issues now that Miguel and her are official. Your friends have some opinions, and things finally get heated.

TW: drinking, heartbreak, cheating, family issues.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

Peter had begun bringing Miguel around more and more, to whom the only person who seemed to dislike this was Miles, but they didn’t interact much. Miles always just kept Gwen close by when Miguel was around, not trusting him around his girlfriend. 

Something about Miguel made MIles uncomfortable, and he tried to tell both you and your sister, but it was no use. Your sister was in love, and you were too visceral to everything now to even comprehend what he was saying. The situation had made you into a shell of who you were. 

One person who found this all very entertaining?

Hobie Fucking Brown. 

Hobie saw you in that nightclub and knew you were the one Miguel had mumbled to him about a few times while he was drunk. Hobie and Peter took Miguel, Jess, and Lyla out a few times since they’d all become friends freshman year and got them all drunk. 

But in the recent few months since Miguel’s summer classes started, he would mumble about some girl under his breath when he was drunk, talk about her like she was a figment of his imagination. 

When Hobie saw you sitting alone in the nightclub, sipping your drink and awkwardly looking around as if searching for an escape route, he knew you were the one Miguel was fixated on. But the poor big bastard was too busy grinding on a girl who could be mistaken for a hooker, so much caked on lipstick and ass almost hanging out. 

Chaos was Hobie’s specialty and when he started dancing with you, he saw a crimson fire burn in Miguel’s eyes. Over your shoulder, he kept winking at the larger of the two, seeing something itch Miguel on the inside of his throat, giving Hobie the idea that he was in for it once they spoke again. 

And then the floozy was dragging Miguel over to you and Hobbie, and this made the alternative boy smile. How perfectly everything was falling into place. 

Hobie pulled you closer, something that had gone unnoticed by the females of the group and had Miguel’s hand almost twitching. 

Weeks had gone by, then he saw you at that party and heard you drunkenly venting. 

“Big and fuckin… stupid, ya know, Gweny? And like… my sister tells me about the sex, Gwen, the sex!” You were barely coherent as you rambled and this made Hobie laugh. He walked off to find his own fling of the night and a few hours later, he saw the big guy carrying out your passed-out body. 

The next day was the pool party and after the heat interaction between you and Miguel, he clapped his hands and laughed. 

“Time for grub, innit? How bout the food now?” He stood and walked to Peter, who hurriedly started passing out food. 

He just sat back and watched, waiting to interfere when he might be needed most, which he had a feeling would be soon. 

Meanwhile, Miguel walked around and finally found Gianna in the upstairs bedroom. 

“Gianna?” He asked and she turned, hugging him. 

“There you are, Miggy! Did you two talk? She still seems really mad.” Gianna bat her eyes and poured a bit, and Miguel felt sick to his stomach. The guilt of wanting you made his mouth dry and his hands freeze. 

“We need to talk.” He took her hand and led her to Mile’s living room. 

“Oh my god.” She covered her mouth and sat down, moving away from him a little. “I guess this was inevitable.” She let her shoulders sag and stared at the ground. 

“Well, I don’t think I’d say it was inevitable. It just started before us, and if I never-“ he looked up once her heard her crying, big tears streaming down her face as she hiccuped a bit. 

“I’m so sorry, Miguel. It’s just- I couldn’t help it!” She gasped and Miguel stopped dead in his tracks. What?

“What are you talking about?” He leaned backwards, frowning a bit. 

“This is about me and my ex, right?” She looked up, eyes glassy and red from crying now. Miguel stood up and furrowed his brows. 

“This- I didn’t even know… did you cheat on me?” The words felt sour in his mouth and like razors on his lips. He stepped backwards and watched as she stood up, reaching towards him. He moved from her hand and glared at the girl. 

“I thought you already knew, wasn’t that what you wanted to talk about?” She looked up to him in shame, then squeezed her eyes shut. “It wasn’t anything much, just a hookup.” 

“I came out here to tell you this wasn’t working because I want someone else.” He blurted out and a hurt expression flashed across Gianna’s face. 

“Who?” 

“Does it even matter now? You’re the one who cheated, I was going to cut things off before anything happened with her.” He started walking away from her. 

“Where are you going?” 

“To go fuck someone else, so I don’t have your taste in my mouth anymore.” He growled and stormed out. He needed to find you. Now. 

But you went home. You snuck out of the bathroom and went home, too embarrassed and hurt to see everyone again. 

How could you face your sister? Ben? Miles and Gwen? Everything was so screwed up, so messy now and you didn’t want to deal with it. You drove home and locked yourself in your bedroom, afraid of the world. 

Days had passed and it was the last class of the semester. You’d been watching your classes online so you didn’t have to leave your house, wanting to avoid everyone and everything. The only time you had to see anyone is when you had to eat, but your mom mainly brought your food to your bedroom. 

Walking onto campus, the sun beat down on you so hard and blinded you behind your sunglasses. You hurried into the lecture hall and bent your head down behind your laptop screen. You needed this final grade, it was an important class for you, but there was only one issue.

A looming presence made you scrunch your eyes shut and curl over your computer more. 

“We need to talk-“

“Class is starting.” You cut him off and fixed the darkened lenses on your nose. 

“Fine.” He yanked out the chair beside you and plopped himself down, leaning back and folding his arms over his chest. 

“That’s not what I meant.” You sighed, giving up and letting him sit there. “Did you study?”

“No.” He answered, as if your question was stupid, “Did you?” 

“I tried, but I couldn't focus.” You slumped, to which Miguel bit his lip. He felt responsible for your distractions. 

“Cheat off of me, then.” 

“What?” You blinked in surprise, uncomfortable with how this sentence made your morality feel. 

“It’s the final, and you know your shit, so if you need to look over to me at any point, just check your answer. I know I’m gonna get an A anyway, this is my whole job.” He rolled his eyes and scooted closer to you, making you suddenly very conscious of the heat of his body near yours and how you looked. 

“F-Fine, but only if I need to, ok?” You stuttered and looked away from him. 

“Only if you promise to talk to me after.” He raised a brow and practically trapped you with just the look in his eyes. 

“Ok, but not here. We’ll get food or something.” You stammered nervously and heard the professor start talking. 

An hour and a half later, you finally finished the test, only glancing at Miguel once through the whole test. A lot of the source material came back to you every time you read the question, only one part stumping you briefly before Miguel held up three fingers and instructed you that it was the third option. 

Walking back out into the sunlight, Miguel grabbed your jean loop and stopped you from running away. “We’re taking my car, since you’re basically an escape artist.” You gulped, seeing how intent he was with speaking with you seriously. Every bone in your body was hesitant and afraid of what he might say, you knew him and Gianna broke up shortly after the fight you had with him and your bathroom excursion. She didn’t want to talk about it, and you didn’t particularly want to talk to her. Everytime you two even made eye contact, bile rose in your esophagus and you choked on the stifling shame of how you felt for her ex-boyfriend. 

Miguel followed you to his car and had you in the front as you watched everything pass by, thinking about how badly life had crumbled the past few weeks. 

Miguel’s hand gripped the steering wheel tighter as he saw you so quiet and upset. He hated this side of you, sad and hurt, but it seemed that this was the only side he brought out of you. 

He finally parked after the silent ride and walked around to get the door for you, waiting for you to jump out and also grabbing the door for you as you both entered the coffee shop. You’d never noticed him being a gentleman before, maybe because you’d never even given him the chance. 

You sat at a table inside and leaned on the wall beside you, too tired to even sit upright. He stood on the line and ordered coffee for you both, as well as a breakfast sandwich. You stared at his tall frame as he took the seat in front of you and sighed. 

“We should get some things out of the way.” He started and you nodded quietly. “I’ll begin with what happened . Your sister and I broke up because she cheated on me and I like you.” 

He spoke like this was obvious but your eyes widened in shock. 

“She cheated? With who?” 

“Some guy in her honors biology class. It wasn’t a big deal, we weren’t that serious and it was only two months.” He shrugged, sipping his black coffee as you milked yours with sugar and cream. 

“But still…” You trailed off and bit your lip. You felt his hurt, but he seemed so indifferent that it made you think again and then remember what else he said. “You like me?” 

His eyes found yours and he nodded.  “I liked you before I knew her, I’ve thought about you since the summer classes started.” He rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip, like he was thinking, and the movement had you mesmerized. “Never knew your name, and when I met Gianna, I liked her because she resembled you, but then I was always around you and I would get angry and bitter because I had gotten so close, yet it wasn’t you.” Miguel rambled, running a hand through his brown hair and sighing in frustration from trying to explain his emotions. You grabbed the hand from his hair before you even realized what you were doing and held it on your own, then dropping it and blushing. 

“I uh-” 

Without waiting for your response, he grabbed that hand again and held it. You sat in silence for a second and stared at where your bodies now met. “You run through my mind like you have no idea.” his hand brushed yours once more and you realized something. 

“You were the one who helped me when I was drunk at Miles’s party.” 

“Yeah.” He nodded, smiling a little. 

You two sat there for hours, talking and laughing as you shared stories and feelings, as if a weight was lifted from both of your shoulders and you could be open to the other now. 

As you threw your head back from laughter to something he said, you heard someone call your name from behind you as you turned and met the eyes of the one person who wouldn’t understand. You both froze, fear chilling the entire area around you all. 

“Gianna?”

Tags: @ihateuguys @spontaneousleo @ginger23 @y2cade @alex110370000 @winteringfalls @neverlandlostchild @haileycannotcometothephonern @loser-alert @idk-sam@bunnyrose01 @minalovesyoubabes @thedevax @arquiiva @freehentai @vonev @rue-ting @darkfairy102190 @iamv1n @teresalesbian @killykstudio @topreice @artyanimi@hrlzy @mikotoguilty @ceoofmiguel @jotarossshark @i-want-to-be-your-dreamgirl @arquiiva @loonalockley @spiderwriter2099 @mikotoguilty @scaleniusrm @angel-xx-1 @siidmm @tayleighuh @zaunsin @imheretoread @lazyotakuofficial @callmeurslxt-pls @angelaut0matec @vonev

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[yourobedientserpent]

Athelind Long's Superhero Chronology

Cross-Published from my Blogspot blog, Kirby Dots & Ditko Ribbons. INTRODUCTION  There's a tendency to divide the different eras of comic book superheroes into "Golden," "Silver", and "Modern," with occasional, tentative attempts to parcel off the Bronze Age, as well.

Let's just say that this lacks nuance. The Superhero Genre has gone through a lot of trends and phases and distinctive cultures over the years, and lumping almost half of its history into some concept of "The Modern Age" is just phoning it in. 

Some notes: 

This is not quite the same as the ages of COMICS, though there's similar nomenclature, largely because comics history tends to focus on the superhero genre even when it tries not to. This is about SUPERHEROES, in more than just a single medium; the "Ages" only indirectly impact other genres. 

All dates are approximate. 

There's plenty of overlap between Silver/Bronze, Bronze/Iron, and Iron/Aluminum, but when I started looking a keystone events, I was astonished by how neatly everything fell into 15-year chunks! 

THE CHRONOLOGY

Prelude (1830s-1938): The dawn of mass-produced popular culture: penny dreadfuls, dime novels, pulp magazines, newspaper comic strips. Folk heroes and detectives start sharing the pages with costumed adventurers, some with peak-human or superhuman abilities. Professor Challenger, Sherlock Holmes, The Nyctalope, The Shadow, Doc Savage. 

Golden Age (1938-1953): Begins with Superman, of course; ends with Post-War Superhero Implosion and Frederic Wertham's anti-comics crusade. The JSA stopped appearing in All-Star Comics in 1951. Fawcett stopped publishing Captain Marvel in 1953. 

Interregnum (1950ish-1960ish): A lot of historians make much of the gap between the Golden and Silver Ages, but, in retrospect, it's surprisingly brief. Superheroes never really go away, but they are de-emphasized in favor of other genres in comics, including horror, romance, and science fiction. Even at DC, other than Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, superheroes are relegated to back-up stories in anthology titles. Still, The Adventures of Superman with George Reeves remained popular throughout this period. 

Silver Age (1954-1970): The Reign of the Comics Code Authority (est. 1954). Really starts to roll with the demise of EC Comics and the reboot of The Flash; peaks with the "camp" craze popularized by the 1966 Batman TV series; ends when Kirby Moves to DC and Marvel publishes the Spider-Man Drug Stories without the Code Stamp. Early on, formerly-anonymous creators start getting openly credited on the title pages of their stories; this starts at Marvel, but DC eventually follows suit. 

Bronze Age (1971-1985): Begins with O'Neil and Adams revamping Batman and Green Lantern; Ends with the Crisis on Infinite Earths. Both DC and Marvel start paying closer attention to continuity and "relevance", and the most successful titles are the ones that most fully embrace an ongoing serial storyline (Legion of Super-Heroes, X-Men, The New Teen Titans). The specialty comic book shop starts becoming more common at the beginning of the era, and the closing years of the era herald a growing Creator's Rights movement, the birth of the Direct Market -- and the dawn of the independent publishers. 

Iron Age (1986-2000): Begins with Deconstruction: Elementals, The Dark Knight Returns, Watchmen, and the Wild Cards "mosaic novel" series. Ends with Reconstruction: Morrison's JLA, among others. Dominated by a determined effort to Take Superhero Comics Seriously. The Big Two kill off or "reinvent" goofy, campy Silver Age characters. DC tries very hard to bring coherency and consistency to its new, Post-Crisis timeline. Several independent publishers try cold-starting superhero "universes" of their own; most of them fail, but a lucky few manage to sell their characters to the Big Two (Ultraverse, Wildstorm). 

Aluminum Age (2000-2015): When Everything is Recycled. Marvel starts the Ultimate Universe. DC resurrects Silver Age characters who got killed off in the Bronze and Iron Age. The Comics Code finally dies in 2011. DC does a succession of "sequels" to Crisis on Infinite Earths: Identity Crisis (2004), Infinite Crisis (2005-2006), and the deceptively-named Final Crisis (2008), culminating in another Hard Reboot with the New 52 in 2011. Marvel does its own version of Crisis with the Multiverse Incursion story arc in New Avengers from 2013-2015. "Decompression" and "writing for the trade" become common as trade-paperback collections become more economically important than the traditional monthly comic magazines ("floppies"). 

Digital Age (2015-Current): Superhero not only become mainstream, but actually dominate movies and TV for several years -- this starts in the Aluminum Age, with the MCU in 2008, but is solidly codified by the debut of Arrow in 2015 and an explosion of weekly prime-time superhero shows that lasts almost a decade.

Comments are welcome, but be civil! This is intended to provoke conversations, not fights.

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

Fit for a King - WIP - "You are tiny"

Fit for a King - Masterlist

König fanfiction scenes and chapters that do not yet have a coherent plot

planned content/TW: rivals to lovers, König x fem!character (not too descriptive to make it accessible for more readers), social anxiety killing machine König, badass friendly FMC, dual POV, secret relationship, switch energy, NSFW, adult themes, strong language, violence (more details are still unclear, gonna update as I go), authentic austrian german

a/n: well, my brain isn't letting go of this newest obsession of mine, so I will appease it and write some scenes/chapters that come to mind. i have written more original work and less fanfictions and our boy (and KorTac) is hard to research, but I'll try my best to stay some-what cannon to the lore. it'll also probably get darker down the road.

if your character doesn't have a tragic backstory, why not give him one?

A not so meetcute

(CW: some mature language)

I strut along the hallway, I'm already late to report for duty and turn the corner abruptly. I collide with somebody else at full walking force and almost get pushed to the floor, if the big figure blocking the light shining from above wouldn't have caught me. "Ouch.", I yelp, more surprised than hurt, even though I feel like ran over by a truck.

I steady myself to look at the "truck". I look up and I keep looking up and up. At first there's just this chest, a huge chest, in a simple compression shirt, but oh boy. The weapon holster is what I see next, sitting snug at the side of his torso. Shoulders, big broad shoulders, and normally you would expect to have a head sitting on top of them and a face looking back at you. I guess, he has one as well, even though I don't see one bit of it. I strain my neck to finally meet his eyes.

But all I see is the dark black of a… sniperhood? A T-shirt? I mean, it looks like a t-shirt, that somebody cut holes in to fashion themselves a kind of mask. The front is stained with bleach, two streaks coming down from the eyeholes... My eyes widen as it sinks in who this is. König. KorTac operator, field combatant and one of my superiors. Shit. I've heard some rumors about him. And it seems like at least some of them ring true.

"You are tiny.", he states matter-of-factly, his Austrian accents shining through the uttered words. It's the first thing he says to me. "And you are... not.", I retort. I can't make out his expression as it so obviously is hidden by his mask. He nods, turns around and heads down the hallway where he came from. I shake my head. What the hell was that?

I stretch myself, feeling the impact of the collision already. My god, that was like being hit by a battering ram. I heard that his specialty is breaking down doors with brute force. I thought this to be ridiculous, but now as I watch the gigantic muscled man strut down the hallway, quickly disappearing, I do believe it. 6'10" killing machine. Ridiculous.

I shake my head again and make my way to the meeting room. Ridgeback is already waiting for me.

______________________________________________________________

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Verdammt. Ah, des hast du ganz super g'macht.* I tell myself sarcastically in my head as I basically run down the hallway. She must be one of the new hires. Must be. And you almost turned her to mush. Mus. Brei. Human remains splattered against the wall. I curse myself again. I didn't even apologize. "You are tiny." No shit, Sherlock, everybody is tiny compared to you. I continue to mock myself. Fuck, Shit, Fuck.

"Ridge, since when do we hire children?", I ask him as soon as I enter the room. He doesn't even look up. "We don't." He keeps reading. "Then why did I just almost run over a recruit that didn't even reach my waist?" – “Because compared to you, everybody seems tiny.” He sighs and looks up at me. “None of our personnel are under 6’, not even the women.”

“Even the new recruits?”, I ask him again. He furrows his brow. “What did you do, König?”, he wants to now. “I may or may not have almost trampled one of them.”, I say, kleinlaut***. He sighs again. “I think that was Müller, she’s actually on her way here.”, Ridgeback says. “Müller? Is she german?”, I ask in surprise. I didn’t hear such an accent on her, but to be fair, she only said like three words… and I wasn’t really paying attention to her words anyway.

On cue, the door opens and I fall silent. “Permission to enter, Sir?”, she says with a clear voice. Not at all seeming like I almost turned her into pulp. I take two steps back to stand in the back, trying to blend into the wall behind me – which I already know from experience is not going to work. “Come in.”, Ridge says. “Müller, right?” She nods and approaches. My focus is fully on her, all the small bits I noticed about her before are still there. She’s not wearing a mask because it’s not necessary off mission. You know, like you normally would. She has laugh lines. Around her eyes and mouth. Fucking laugh lines. She doesn’t look like she belongs here.

The two of them are talking, but I catch every single time when her gaze lands on me, even if it’s just from the corner of her eyes. I fight against the urge to turn away every time she looks at me, when I hear Ridgeback drop the old s-word. Sniper.

My ears perk up and I finally pay attention to what they’re saying again. “Your track record is almost immaculate, Müller. You’re gonna be an asset to the team on the next missions.”, he says to her. I can see that she tries to hold back a proud expression or smile on her face, but she doesn't really succeed at that. God damn it, a sniper. I groan and make my way to the door which doesn’t go unnoticed. “König.”, Ridgeback pipes up. “You wanna show Müller the way to the dorms?” as I already have my hand on the doorknob.

I still for just a moment and the roaring sensation of anxiety seeps at my feet and crawls up my body until it’s nested at the back of my head. I can’t talk to her. Not after embarrassing myself before. “Nein.”, is all I say before I’m out the door.

*God damnit. You did a really bang up job. ** two different words for pulp/mash *** meekly (word for word: 'smallloud')

[darcytaylor]

I get people who are saying he appears to be outgrowing his friend group, however it honestly seems like he is firmly committed to them regardless of his growth. The one constant thing we’ve seen has been the presence of at least A through all the promo and she seemed to be very involved with everything and everyone else in his life apart from Bridgerton. I believe she was even seen with his cast mates from TSOT recently.

I hate to say it, but I am starting to see Bridgerton as the outlier that doesn’t seem to be built into his life, but instead kept separate. The issue for Luke is that Bridgerton and the persona he is/was around it is what he’s known for now, and by seeming to do all he can NOT to be identified with it as his defining role, I think it’s causing problems. Again, not saying any of this is fair or even right, but it isn’t unexpected and I do hate to see this sort of thing playing out so publicly for someone who we know historically struggled with anxiety (although I know some people who have been around awhile and seen him in person have said he is noticeably different as a person now and more confident/not the dorky guy he was… that’s part of why I feel like Bridgerton Luke is not really him anymore).

You have made some very good points in regard to Luke’s commitment to his friend group (and also good points in general). But just because someone is committed to a particular path doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best choice for their life or that they’re fully aware of its impact. The choices we make affect our lives, and sometimes these impacts are not always positive for ourselves or those around us. 

In Luke’s case, while it's true that his friends are posting about his private/personal life, he is still responsible for setting boundaries and making choices that align with his personal and professional goals. His current approach suggests that he may not fully be aware of the progress he has made or the level of growth he has achieved. It appears he is not surrounded by people who match his professional aspirations, which could be hindering his career. (This is all speculation on my part).

I think Luke can still maintain his friendships while also focusing on networking and advancing his career with people who share similar goals. What’s being shown publicly should ideally reflect his professional image rather than his personal/private life. His recent choices to spend time with his current group, especially when aiming to build on his success with Bridgerton, seem counterintuitive. But I will say this again, until we know his specific career goals, it’s hard to say whether his choices align with them.

Maintaining a separation between work and personal life is healthy. I think everybody should strive to do this. The issue isn’t that we keep seeing Luke’s private life, but that his private life keeps intruding into his personal brand (I brought this up in a comment to an ask). Every celebrity has a personal brand, which they use to market themselves. For Nicola, it’s her relatability, humour, and advocacy, which she effectively leverages (she's damn good at her job). In Luke’s case, the overlap of his private and professional life seems to be damaging his personal brand and creating a conflict.

But people do evolve and grow, and I don’t think it is uncommon for actors (or anyone) to undergo significant personal and professional changes, which sometimes can lead to a disconnect between public image and personal life. I also don’t think it would be easy to manage these perceptions either, but I do think it is crucial for Luke to find a balance that could allow him to embrace his growth and maintain a coherent public image (that works and isn't holding him back) at the same time. 

(also sorry this was so longwinded, but you know me, long drawn out paragraphs are my specialty!)

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

New Year's Traditions HC's

Technically an extension of my December Drabbles list, all characters are included except faculty (Sorry, some are angsty, it's my Specialty sdlfkjhsdlkfj) TW: Alcoholism/implied addictions in Cater's family, implied underage drinking in prior years, (Cater), unsafe home environment implied in the Trappola household, Kalim is just generally Sad --------------------------------------------------------------- Heartslaybul Riddle: New Year's eve is the night Riddle goes to bed earliest, and not as a direct order from his mother. When he was a kid, it was because he wanted to go into the new year well rested and ready to tackle the next 365 days head on. As he got older it just became habit, and it brought the next day on sooner without him having to fill it with studying. While he couldn't bring himself to "party", the extra sleep meant he wasn't studying, which felt like enough of a break to him. Now that he's in school, Trey makes sure to encourage him to join in the festivities a little bit. Trey: When Trey is at home for New Year's, he isn't in the kitchen at all. His younger sister gets to take the helm, as she loves to make cute little charcuterie boards for anyone old enough to be staying up til midnight. Only once they're all done he sits down with all of them and watches Home Alone/the equivalent with them while his parents get an early nights rest. Whoever is asleep by the end of the movie gets tucked into bed and yes- they miss one night of tooth brushing even under Trey's babysitting simply because he can't bring himself to wake them up. Anyone else who stays awake with him usually ends in a giant cuddle pile that the younger siblings come and body slam to start the new year. Cater: God Cater hates going home for any reason, but New Years isn't....as bad. As long as he can grin and bear his mothers shenanigans long enough, his eldest sister will usually sneak him and his other sister into a party somewhere where they can drink and forget about the year before, and bring the new year in feeling a little less alone or scared because they're surrounded by people. It's also the one day of the year their dad figured out he needs to stay sober so he can go pick up his kids when they inevitably call at 3 am barely coherent and asking for a ride home. Deuce: It's not that big of a celebration, but the entire day is spent cleaning the house top to bottom to make sure they go into the new year with a clean, happy home. They usually finish off the day by baking off two cupcakes they prepped earlier in the day, and spend the evening decorating one for each other. Delia often has to work new years day, so they don't stay up. After having their cupcakes, they try to watch a movie, but his mom usually falls asleep. He tucks her in on the couch and then cleans what's left of the dishes to make sure the kitchen and dining room are just as pristine as they were when they cleaned them earlier so that the new year can start the way they hoped. Ace: He and his brother celebrate it together, avoiding their dad entirely. They go out for a snack run, and when they get home they climb out Ace's window to sit on the roof and eat their snacks and talk about their hopes for the future, or things they'd like to avoid. On years where it's too cold to go out to do that, they have a little hideout in the attic with a window they like to do too, even if they have to bundle up with enough blankets to suffocate a god. Savannaclaw

Leona: He would be forced to attend certain events and niceties, but as soon as he had the chance to sneak away, even as a kid, he would look up at the fireworks and try to wish on them. He's thought of it as rather dumb now that he's older, but a part of him still holds on to the hope that one day one of his wishes, even one of his more minor ones, would come true. He knows now that it would be completely coincidental, but maybe a part of his inner child would heal just a little bit. Ruggie: Aw man, the entire week of Christmas to the second of January is filled with music, partying and food. It's one of Ruggie's favourite times of year as the entire community gets together to make sure they start the new year off with a bang! Clean up isn't all that bad after either - those who can use magic have been taught to use it for very practical reasons from a young age, and the little ones know that if they want to be a part of the next activity or snag a few more treats know they have to help with tidying. It's also his favourite time of year because his grandma will pass down another one of her recipes to him, and he treasures that time with her more than anything. Jack: New Year's isn't a big deal for his family honestly, it's just another day. They do make new years resolutions together and help each other set realistic goals so they can achieve them. After that's done, everyone kinda just goes about their day and does whatever they want, but usually in each others company still. Octavinelle Azul: New year's eve means his mom and grandma's restaurant is open until six in the morning of the new year- it's a lot of work, but it's always worth it in the end. Azul gets the spotlight around 11 to play the piano for the customers, and then open mic night and drinks are served. Usually he would get sent to bed with a plate of his favourite foods, but as he got old enough to help more, he did. Though his nonna still, always, saves him a heaping plate of his favourite foods for the end of the night. Jade/Floyd: New Year's also isn't a big deal for them or their family, so they just kind of treat it as a lazy day. Sometimes together, sometimes in their own space. Floyd doesn't particularly like the end of the year, but once he got to land he loved crashing parties. Jade only goes to pick him up when he's armed with noise cancelling headphones and a mask. Floyd hasn't been allowed to do it again and has no wish to after seeing the look in Jade's eyes at the suggestion that he might. Scarabia Kalim: New year's eve is his least favourite night of the year. Every year, his dad, his mom, his dozens of aunties and cousins get to celebrate in the courtyard with drinks and foods of all kinds. Everyone sounds happy, but after the first few close calls, Kalim simply wasn't allowed to be out there. They tried, one year, letting him have Jamil with him, but the food brought up was what sent Jamil to the hospital. So now it's the one night that Kalim fasts, he's separated from everyone and can just hear them celebrate outside. After the incident with Jamil, he didn't want him to be stuck with him when he could get the chance to spend the time with his family. Jamil/Najma: As kind as Kalim intended to be, releasing Jamil back into the sea of servants only meant that New Years eve was also one of Jamil's least favourite days, however it bears some of him and Najma's favourite memories. The two of them would find little ways to mess around and stay out of the way to celebrate in their own ways throughout the day so the prep for the royals didn't feel as boring or taxing. Now that they're both old enough to help in the kitchen, they rarely leave the kitchen on New Year's eve without having thrown something at each other in a lighthearted way.

Pomefiore Vil: All his photoshoots for the season, all his magicam reels, he makes them well in advance for Christmas so he can focus on just spending time with his dad. While they aren't particularly close, it's the one time of the year his dad feels like less of his sponsor and more like his dad. New years day is Vil's most relaxed day of the year, when he just gets to stay in lounge wear all day and talk to his dad about things not related to work or school. It's always a little awkward, but it's ok. His favourite is having brunch and tea with his dad, just sitting in each others company. The silence is rather welcoming in his otherwise very hustle and bustle life. Rook: New year's day, his whole family goes out to an island they've never been to before and gets given different maps to their starting spots. Once they get to their starting spots, the games begin. The winner of the year prior (being the person who hunted the most game before the end of the day and brought it back to the plane), has a medal they have to wear in a visible and accessible place. In order to win, you have to snatch the medal and hunt more animals down, while also making it back to the plane before midnight. Everyone stays up to prepare/preserve their meat, they camp for the remainder of the night and then head home. Family bonding time! Epel: Harveston is mostly older folks, and because the holiday season is so busy for them with tourists coming from all over for their stocks and wares, new years day is generally very quiet. Epel doesn't mind it now, but as a kid it drove him crazy. "It's the earth's birthday so we gotta celebrate." Now, he mostly just sits and sketches future blastcycle paintjobs as he listens to his meemaw tell him stories he's heard a thousand times before, but would listen to a thousand times again. Ignihyde Idia/Ortho: Research and innovation can't stop for no reason, and a new year is hardly a reason for the Shroud parents to stop their work. However, as soon as Idia was able to solder, new years day became the day that the Shroud parents would teach their kids a new skill, so that the entirety of the next year could be spent developing that skill. The kids would also draft "blueprints" (drawings, depending on how old they were) of something they challenged their parents to build by the end of the next year. On new years day they trade their "projects" and critique and improve them together. Diasomnia Malleus: To him, new year's day is just like any other day. For the fae, years pass by like seconds. But watching the people around him celebrate reminds him that there is worth in every moment, so he tries to set a new goal like the humans tend to try and do every year as well. Like most humans though, it's rarely engaging enough that he follows through with it. Lilia: He knows his days are numbered, so celebrating another year feels like great fun! He tends to go all out, and often drags Malleus, Silver and Sebek into his shenanigans even if they're all a little confused. The confusion often turns to horror as every year he decides to take on a challenging recipe in the kitchen, often in the largest yield he can make it happen. Cakes are a favourite of his, but nobody else's. Silver/Sebek: He and Sebek have been close for a while. They don't see the appeal of parties to the same extent as Lilia, but certainly value the passage of time to a different extent than Malleus. Being some of the folks with human DNA in Briar Valley, they often spend it together. Silver naps all day, so that Sebek can wake him up at 11:58pm so they can make their wishes by 12am in the New year. Usually they both contribute their wish to Silver, on healing him, but Sebek would never admit that.

Others Che'nya: This little shit has been doing this since he was tiny, but he eavesdrops on people's conversations about their plans or their resolutions and then goes invisible and encourages them as a disembodied voice. People can never decide whether it's a good sign to act on what they were planning on doing or if they should freak the fuck out because holy shit a disembodied voice just told them they should follow through with their plans how would that be anything but bad? Neige/Dwarves: Neige typically celebrates whenever he can, and the dwarves he's friends with make it an exciting and bright time. It's usually just them, and they enjoy it that way. A small party celebrating a new year, and another year to being friends and making many memories. Cheka/Falena: They try to call Leona to at least video watch the fireworks together, but Leona never picks up. The fireworks go off at around 8:30pm, but Falena sets all the clocks to 12 so Cheka thinks he stayed up until the new year.

[chiskz]

[ ▶️ ] Stray Kids [INTRO "樂-STAR"]

↬ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

Chichi is wearing a very loose pale pink sweater, Timberland boots of the same color and wide denim pants. Her hair is tied in a very small ponytail. She is sitting on a high stool set up in a training room, which is semi-dark.

❝ We are back with a new album and new energy. I think both we and STAY have been waiting for something like this.❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

❝ As you can see, I am in our training room, the place where it is easiest to find me at any time of the day as well as night.❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

❝ This year has really brought us a lot of good things, mainly a lot of new opportunities to grow and show again that we have our own style. I feel that we are maturing as artists, more and more with each new song. It's a great feeling to be able to blossom at any time of the year. ❞

↬ 𝐋𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐋𝐀

❝ Ah, choreography? ❞

Chichi laughs briefly, sitting down a little more comfortably.

❝ This song was supposed to be as a b-side for 5-STAR album, so I had heard it much earlier. So I had a good part of the choreography laid already in my head, so putting it together into a coherent whole went quite smoothly, so we had a lot of time to learn and practice it. I'm proud of it. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

❝ Referring to rock-star, I also included the headbanging associated with that concept, but in our style, somewhat reminiscent of the head movement from God's Menu. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Lee Know: ❝ The moves are really big too. [...] "They're giving it their all", that's how the final chorus feels like. Everytime I listen to a song I can picture the choreography in my head and how I want to feel. When I listened to this song and then Chichi showed us the choreography I was like... Wow. She really did bring out the song's full potential. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

❝ This time there were many dancers with us. I wondered how I would lead them, but both they and my Kids and JYP ent. put all their trust in me. I couldn't let them down. In college, large groups of dancers were my specialty, but to be honest, I was still scared. It was really a big responsibility. Fortunately, we understood each other very well and the cooperation went smoothly. ❞

↬ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐗

❝ "Embracing all my scars and imperfections, turn the tide. All my cons are my pros now." I love this song. I think that even at this stage of life, where I'm already an adult, I can say that I still struggle with complexes. This song is a good way to deal with them, it's about turning something we think is our weakness into a strength, because we are really the only ones who can give it to ourselves. We are our ally, the only one we are sure will stay with us forever. That is why it is so important to build a healthy relationship with yourself.❞

↬ 𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄

❝ Ah, Cover Me! ❞

Chichi laughs and wraps her arms around herself.

❝ At the very sound of the title I got shivers... A wonderful song. It has a huge, huge value for me. It is quite a milestone for me as a vocalist, because Hyunjin proposed me as the voice for the second high note, next to Seungmin. It was a great honor for me, and it filled my heart with pride that I was really developing, that someone else saw it too. That I didn't make this up... I was really moved. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chichi sits on the couch with a piece of paper while Seungmin leaves the booth after recording his part. She stands up nervously and looks at Chan, then laughs nervously.

"It's me now!"

She goes inside, puts on her headphones and puts down the piece of paper. Chan gives her final instructions, after which Chi proceeds to sing her high note.

Chan stops the recording and corrects her cap.

"And I think we're good here too."

Chichi pulls off her headphones and blinks several times.

"Really?"

"It was great."

Confirmed Seungmin standing behind Chan sitting in the chair. The leader turned on the already joined lines of Seungmin and Chichi to show them how it went.

"I really got shivers..."

↬ 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

❝ With each new album, each new song or choreography, we try to raise the bar even higher. Some will say that we are greedy... Maybe this is indeed the case, but I have the impression that we have always wanted more, because we know that we are capable of more. We just need to create the right conditions for ourselves, create more space to completely spread our wings, which are constantly growing and need more and more of it. I think this is good, because we are always grateful for everything, we want to achieve more, but in return we try to give twice as much. Some people call it the journey to the top, but I think there is no top, because you never reach your full potential. It's the journey that is most valuable in all of this. ❞

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

♡𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @amyysfics , @smh-anon , @neohyxn , @stealanity , @alixnsuperstxr , @juliawritingblog , @rizzshimura , @elizalabs3

[twigg96]

I love your headcanons, I binge on them often. This is My first request... what if the boys had a special treat for their S/O birthday (wink wink)

👀🔥 hehehe @antaraboo Ohhh something special huh?? Ok. Let’s go!!! These will be spicy so just be prepared. I had to place them bellow the cut so you know they’re gonna be

Nathan - Nathan doesn’t hide his plans at all. He probably even tells his partner to come home naked on their birthday. This boy absolutely gives the best birthday head. He will go down on his partner and make them scream his name and make their legs shake and become jelly before he ever even touches himself. His partner has cum at least 5 times before he starts fingering them, edging them farther and farther each and every time just to hear them scream. By the time he’s fucked them full his partner can’t even make words coherently anymore. Just whined needy noises as they wrapped their legs around his waist, their eyes rolling to the back of their skulls as Nathan plows into them at full force. Nathan is calling them every word in the book. Gorgeous. Filthy whore. Delicious. Bitch. Whatever gets them going he’s into it tonight. That includes cumming where ever his partner wants and being extra vigilant about condoms if it was a boundary between them before.

Pickles- He is weirdly quiet about his S/Os birthday. Normally he’d be all over them. Telling them all about that good kush he got to smoke just for the day. But this year… he avoided them like the plague. That is until the actual day arrives. That’s when the wrapped boxes and boxes of toys come out. Vibrators, remote controlled toys, ropes, handcuffs, dildos of all shapes and sizes, ovipositors, tentacles, if they could think of it. He bought it just for that evening. Pickles was slow to try them. Careful not to move to fast and scare his partner away. The two of them smoked a fat blunt, drinking the best champagne either of them had ever tasted before Pickles picked up a bottle of cherry flavored Lube. Rubbing some of the tingling jelly on his lovers thighs, slowly, carefully he licked it up, commenting that it in fact tasted nothing like cherries and did in fact make his tongue numb as hell. The two shared giggly kissed passionately exploring each of their bodies limits until they were both limp on the mattress the next morning, sticky and covered in more substances than either cared to admit.

Murderface - this man is the gentlest bean a person could ever date. But this man has a secret dark side that only comes out when his partner begs for it. For their birthday he decides that it is the best time to unleash his beast. His choking kink. Using his large calloused beefy hands to hold the throat of his partner just tight enough to make them feel so amazing that they cum as he places perfect thrusts of his gnarled dick into them. Cum would be pooled beneath them. A mixture of him and his partner’s. Air is a precious commodity on his S/Os birthday and he’s more than willing to make them beg for it.

Skwisgaar - over stimulation. Over stimulation. Over stimulation. Skwisgaar is a man that notoriously is known to go for hours. Albeit with multiple partners and on benders… but still he planned on putting those skills to good use on his S/O’s birthday. Anything they wanted to do he was down for. Any position. Eaten out? Easy. Toys? He was down. They wanted him to cum inside? That was his fuckin’ specialty. Anything he could do to make them cum again. And again. And again. He wanted them shaking and whining by the time he was done. He wanted them panting, begging, nails leaving long tracks down his back, screaming, crying, wailing, shaking, and cumming. He wanted them covered in his love bites, only falling asleep as the morning sun crested and his partner was sufficiently fucked good.

Toki - he is making sweet unbridled love to his partner. He needs to make sure the love of his life knows just how much he loves them. He’d pamper them all day. Massaging their body with scented oil. Washing them in the shower before and after sex. Feeding them sexily with aphrodisiacs, oysters, avocados, salmon, bananas, strawberries, chocolates, and red wine. He makes love to his partner sweet and slowly making sure to kiss every inch of their body before helping them cum with his hand. Them first. Always. Then he’s switching gears. Fucking them hard and needy. Still making love. Still being sure to tell them how much he loves them. But the feeling of his partner’s cum on his stomach and thighs as they ride him to their pleasure is so intoxicating. He can’t help but leave hand prints in their thighs and hips through the grip he holds.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

random RL headcanons: game night edition

Mia is weirdly and inexplicably good at charades/any similar games. just anything to do with abstract communication. Poetry With Neanderthals is a personal favorite of hers.

(silly OC addition: Mia and Caldwell have a game they created for parties that's essentially just an alternate version of charades. Caldwell, who is cursed and cannot speak coherently, draws a prompt from a hat, and has to try to explain it. the audience is split into teams and attempts to guess the prompt. Mia, who is an expert at interpreting Caldwell's speech, is usually barred from playing (the exception being themed rounds where the theme is outside her specialties) and acts as a judge/curates the prompt list)

Angie is both very, very good and very, very bad at Monopoly Cheater's Edition. seems to get better the more she's had to drink, of course. gets caught cheating 90% of the time, but usually manages to pull off something insane near the end of the game.

Bela is surprisingly killer at games like Cards Against Humanity. nobody ever expects her to play the cards she does, no matter how many times they've played with her. equally an expert at games where having a good memory comes in handy.

Cassandra excels at games of deception, trickery, and mindfucks. playing a game like Werewolf with her is honestly insane. will attempt to "seduce" (i.e. distract) players she thinks are close to figuring her out. she's also decent at trivia games, but likes to narrow down the categories if the other players are cool with that.

Dani mostly likes chill, shorter games (the kind where you can play multiple rounds in one sitting), especially card games. I can see her enjoying Here To Slay, Muffin Time, and Happy Little Dinosaurs. on a semi-related note I think she low-key went through a magic trick/sleight of hand phase, but these days she doesn't usually do tricks unless she's had a couple drinks and someone brings it up.

Miranda prefers 1v1 games... on the rare occasion where someone (*cough* MC *cough*) convinces her to play. she's decent at actual chess, but is prone to starting out overconfident, only to end up getting flustered towards the end because she overthinks her moves. do not play checkers with her. she will win. you will lose. you will lose by an embarrassingly large margin.

Alcina is only slightly more interested in games than Miranda, and usually uses them as an excuse to socialize. likes big group games where there are opportunities to chat with other players while someone else makes their turn. probably plays the kinds of games that I've seen on TV a lot (classics like Mahjong) but don't personally have enough experience to talk about.

Donna kicks ass at pool, but almost never plays. you (and Angie) would have to talk her into it. totally worth it tho, because she'll have a lot of fun, especially if you're on her team and let her "show you the ropes". if you catch my drift ;) aka that thing where she'll lean a lot of her body against you, her arms alongside yours, helping move you into position. that thing tv shows/movies do to increase sexual tension between two characters.

Mia is also unfairly good at darts. it's honestly really attractive.

[horsetailcurlers2]

Please ramble about Tedstina I’m a total truther lol. Their chemistry was SO intense and palpable from the second Teddy stepped on screen and I agree about them not getting together whilst Teddy was mentoring her but I always thought the Henry plot was a perfect lead in to them developing something long term. Like in my head Cristina dumps Owen after he makes her lie about Henry and in Teddy’s grief and Cristina’s guilt they get closer, eventually sleeping together and then dating. Out of all the couples something about them both being so stubborn but also so clear eyed, ambitious and somewhat cold makes them the most likely to last in my opinion. A little line with Burke but this time they actually know and like each other lmao. And it would definitely be a little twisted since Cristina technically ‘killed’ Henry and then dated his widow but also it’s no darker than other weird romance plots on greys lol. Plus they would’ve been hot as hell 😭

yess you get it. okay but be forewarned this is a true ramble- it may only be vaguely coherent as i’m just going off the cuff.

exactly the chemistry is genuinely insane!!!! the thing about greys that bums me out in the early seasons is that they had an aversion to making any of their main female characters canonically queer. like, i get it, bc getting the callie storyline out there was an uphill battle. but it’s like they want to be explicitly clear all the time that cristina and meredith are both very very Straight. and that’s a whole other thing i could go on about. all this to preface that i think if the show aired now, cristina would be canonically openly queer right out the gate.

by the time teddy came along, it was still pretty early in the owen/cristina and so he hadn’t really done anything yet to make him quite so hate-able. and after hahn there was a big gap left where cristina was sorely lacking in a good mentor. burke was almost a good mentor but then you know they started canoodling and he eventually got frustrating. hahn just straight up refused to teach cristina despite her clear enthusiasm and untapped talent. then teddy comes in and it’s like…. she’s brilliant, she’s not put off by cristina’s cristinaness and she actually seems to be interested in the teaching aspect of working at a teaching hospital (which was fucking rare at that point). so i was immediately drawn to the teddy-cristina dynamic. especially with the complication of owen being the common link.

i could go on a whole other ramble about teddy and the long lasting effects that stemmed from allison’s death and the guilt about that infidelity but suffice to say by the time we meet teddy she’s pretty messed up about love.

and as we know, cristina has a long history of being attracted to mentor figures.

i think that with teddy’s infatuation with owen being shut down on his end pretty early on (despite him doing a total one eighty in the later seasons and claiming to have always loved her 🙄) it opened the door for her to realize WHY she was attracted to him in the first place (a best friend she made in a war zone shortly after the allison tragedy, him already being in a relationship).

SO anyway teddy meets cristina. they’re both in love (?🙄) with owen, they are both passionate about the same specialty, they both have tragedy and failed romance in their pasts.

and i see what you mean about them being very similar. but they are also opposite (and therefore perfectly complimentary) in a lot of ways. i personally think teddy is a lot more optimistic than she appears. she’s not easily discouraged. i also like that right off the bat she recognizes cristina’s talent, takes a liking to her, and is kind of just impervious to cristina’s dislike/wariness of her. i think it’s so funny how almost everyone but meredith is at first really put off by cristina’s bluntness or outright offended by her but teddy is just like “i respect your skill, i’m not gonna take any shit, i know i’m great at my job so let me do it and we’ll be chill”

i think that the conversation about teddy wanting to leave and cristina begging her to stay and yelling that teddy can have owen was a turning point for both of them. i think they both had a lot of revelations.

AND THEN i think the saga of henry’s death was also a major turning point for their relationship. i don’t think this would make their relationship that twisted tbh bc i don’t think teddy ever saw it that way. i think if she blamed anyone other than herself, it was owen (which, yeah bc the way he handled that was fucking bonkers). and i’ve seen a lot of frustrating stuff (mostly on tiktok lol which i have to stay away from bc there’s rarely any nuance on there when it comes to fandom/media discussions) about how teddy repeatedly grilling cristina about henry’s death was the worst thing she ever did and she was punishing cristina or something. but i think that that isn’t true at all in the slightest. it was fucked up and brutal and it was a grief response that was terribly unfair to cristina, but i think it actually showed the two of them being on the same wavelength in a lot of ways. cristina isn’t fazed (at least visibly) by teddy’s need to hear it over and over. bc i think she understood why teddy needed to hear it. they both deal with grief by making it about the facts and about the medicine. teddy needed to know that there is nothing anyone could have done to save him so that she doesn’t feel like she has another death on her hands. and i think cristina gets that because of her backstory with her fathers death. AGAIN i think they just get each other in ways that owen never got either of them.

AND HOW COULD I NOT MENTION THAT TEDDY HAS ACTUALLY SAID “i’m in love with cristina yang”

ANYWAY i personally have this AU idea in my head where they cross paths in europe and reconnect.

[xeno828]

Trollhunters Ending FIXED!!!

So....I've recently binged this entire series, fell in love with it and promptly gotten heartbroken at the shitty ending the movie gave us. SO!!!! I have seen many people hating on the ending and pretending it and the movie didn't exist. I came up with an idea that I am permanently using as a replacement for the ending that I'm pretty happy with. I can't write dramatically for shit BUT I can scribble ideas! If anyone wants to flesh this out into a one shot fic PLZ TAG ME JUST SO I CAN READ IT!!!!!

(also this is gonna read more like a screen play for a movie cus I'm a vid editor and that's how I picture stuff, doesn't always translate well into a written story! 😅)

--------------

- So everything stays the same up until Jim uses the kronosphere to go back in time

- Instead of going back to the beginning and changing everything, he travels back to when the Arcane order had finally gotten a hold of the real Nari

- Everything is still happening around him but is dead silent as if he were deaf and in slight slo mo as he gets his bearings (not actually deaf, just that kinda cinematic idea for drama!!)

- Looks around and sees everyone alive gathered around (maybe some sappy or quiet music plays on top of him seeing everyone alive, I dunno!!!)

- As this is the past they don't know Jim just came from the future and are instead focused on glaring at something

- IRL sound hits back in like a huge thud, LOUD AF!!!!

- Jarring Jim to turn around and see the Arcane order hovering in that same ball of magic that surrounded them the first time (that's what everyone is glaring at btw!)

- This is when realization for Jim sets in and he knows this is his second chance

- The music from the credits in the original film (or something like that) starts to build up (in my head it's like him and the music are going "not this fucking time!")

- He transforms into his new armour (either cus it came back in time with him or cus now he knows about the 9th configuration, your choice!)

- Camera and everything is focused on the transformation as the music is building but you can see everyone in the background looking either shocked or like "HELL YEAH!!" when they see Jim finally transforming again

- Quick dramatic shot focusing on the Arcane order still performing their spell, t

- Some sort of cheesy/bad ass hero shot showing off everyone gathered together as the "9th configuration" and ready to kick ass

- Close up on Belroc looking pissed as they realize Jim has transformed and everyone is gathered to fight

- Equally cheesy close up on Jim quietly but determinedly saying something like "not this time" or "my turn" (I can't do dialogue I'm sorry!!!;)

- Jim jumps into fight with everyone following behind

- Final shot of everyone running toward the camera (Arcane order) and cuts to black with Jim swinging Excalibur at the camera.

- As it cuts to black the outro music (roughly 20 secs into it) hits the beat drop at the same time as the credits start!

--------------

Cliffhanger-ish ending, doesn't get rid of the whole story, leaves it up to imagination on who still lives and dies, doesn't undo character development, has more of a feel good "HELL YEAH!!" ending to it (at least for me!) Doesn't feel like a definite ending but has enough to still feel like Trollhunters isn't just over and wrapped up nice and nearly with a pretty bow! For me this works and I'm happy to pretend this is canon. Tbh 90% sure this looks cooler in my head than how it's written down, I might get round to making a vid edit for it on YouTube (cus that's my specialty) but dunno if anyone actually wants to see that!

As I said I'm not a writer so apologies for this chaos!! I don't usually post these things that I think about (cus I've also imaged a better ending for game of thrones!) But I just really wanted to share this in case someone else also enjoyed the concept or in case anyone wants to translate this mess into something coherent!

Anyway, rant done and idea written out, go have fun with it you want, just plz tag cuz I wanna read if you! 😭🙏

[phantasmiafxndom]

Since it's your specialty... Could you please write another shark merman hc, but for Leona, Idia and Trey with a rather mean reader that likes to fuck them into the mattress with a little disregard for their limits?

My specialty? What, xeno and mean horny things? XD

Also, here's the first version of this!

. . .

Leona

Normally, it's hard to get Leona worked up about much of anything— of course, even he's not too good at keeping his cool when your twin dicks are pressed up against his hole.

"Would you hurry up and do it?" he hisses, tail swishing.

"Of course, your highness," you reply sarcastically, then shove in quite a bit faster than could be considered nice.

A shocked yelp is forced out of Leona's throat, followed by a half-pained keen when you don't stop there. You force his hips up and fuck into him hard and fast, leaving him twitching helplessly underneath you while his body struggles to catch up.

Two dicks are a lot, even for someone with his ego. The stretch has to ache— and it doesn't help when you find just the right angle to brutally scrape over his prostate on every thrust.

Like that, the proud lion is mewling in no time, eyes rolling back as you manhandle his shuddering body right where you want it.

You don't need to touch his dick. Despite all insistence to the contrary, Leona is plenty capable of coming untouched... when he's truly overwhelmed by pleasure, that is.

The only nice thing to do is get him there.

Idia

When your dicks slide into him, Idia whines like he's dying.

He's plenty stretched, so you know he's not in any real pain— and yet, just one short, easy thrust has him clawing at the sheets and whimpering yet again, high-pitched and frantic.

"Would you quit whining?" you sigh. "I know I'm not hurting you, so stop being such a little bitch."

"This isn't fai—" Idia starts to complain again, but you cut him off with a much rougher snap of your hips. Judging from the muffled howl that earns, it hit his prostate dead-on... perhaps a little too hard, now that you hear starting to hyperventilate.

Well, there's one way to get Idia to stop freaking out, and that's to fuck him past the point of coherent thought. And you can do that. You fully intend to do that.

You grab one pale, scrawny thigh and hook it over your shoulder, then with the better angle, start pounding him properly.

Idia squeals. His whole body locks up and tries to curl in on itself, and when you just force his legs apart and fuck him harder, he goes from high-pitched noises of distress to moaning like a whore while his hard cock bounces against his stomach.

That's better. Much less whining.

Trey

By now, Trey knows better than to complain. He knows you'll fuck him brainless and sobbing eventually, no matter what.

"C-Come on, be a little more gentle, please?"

Asking nicely gets him much farther than being difficult, but you still don't feel like having mercy. Shoving your dicks another inch deeper into his helplessly clenching hole draws a miserable groan out of him... but his cock still twitches with interest.

"Maybe. We'll see how I feel once I'm all the way in." With a fittingly shark-like grin, you haul Trey's hips up and force your dicks the rest of the way into him in one sharp, quick slide.

Trey muffles a near-scream into the sheets— and yet, you don't miss the come that drools weakly out of his flushed dick.

He's learning to like this, one way or another.

"Don't you want to stop thinking?" you ask with a few short, quick twitches of your hips. Trey jolts with oversensitivity every time, groaning weakly, but he doesn't protest. "Come on, baby, I'll fuck you real stupid— until nothing matters at all."

His response, whatever it would have been, is cut off when you start fucking him for real. Now, all that's left is his mindless, drooling face and all-too-honest body's pleas for more.